sofsstucky

[sofsstucky]

So proud of him! But also hate that growing up meant loosing his innocence and learning to be manipulative like everyone else!

[sofsstucky]

[sofsstucky]

Thanks to your recent posts, I’ve had touchstarved halsin and sub!halsin on my mind for DAYS. Just. *inarticulate noise* this man deserves all the affection and all the body worship and all the being the little spoon.

He really does, especially the little spoon part. Like. Just imagine the sheer joy if he lies down with his partner, only for them to move behind him, and he is SO confused- "where are you going, my heart?"

"Nowhere, now stay still."

And then he feels arms wrap around his middle, and he is just STUNNED. No one has ever done such a thing before. But is he ever delighted. He all but purrs in delight, instantly closing his eyes and giving the biggest smile. "Your arms make me feel safer than any armor ever could."

(Yes, the last line is directly from the epilogue, after you hug him.)

[sofsstucky]

Not Teenwolf related but here’s my baby Leon Kennedy ❤️

(Will be posting some more resident evil art too in the foreseeable future )

[sofsstucky]

He’s cute when he gets that look in his eye 🥰

[sofsstucky]

Bucky Barnes and Scott Lang: an iconic duo

[sofsstucky]

I've been thinking a lot about post WS Bucky, and how when he recovers and eventually moves in with Steve, he'll have trouble falling asleep laying down, in a bed, when he's spent the past 70 years in and out of standing frozen stasis. I wonder how many nights he wakes up gasping, sweating through his clothes, yet somehow unable to shake the cold from his bones. I wonder how many blankets Steve brings him to stave this feeling. And I bet Steve understands. I bet he still deals with it, himself.

Hey, thanks for leaving yet another haunting headcanon in my inbox, especially considering that horrible thing I did to your last one.  ^^;;;

I feel like some of this has been covered in my fridge comic, but I’m a big sucker for Winter Soldier sleep issues and Steve also dealing with stuff, so here goes — a quick drabble.

——————————-

Bucky didn’t know how to sleep.  At all.  He could doze off a bit — 10, 15 minutes, maybe 30 if he’s lucky, but anything longer he’s jolted awake, panicked and in pain, as if he’d just received an electric shock.  The file on the Winter Soldier has very specific documentation on why — sleep led to dreams led to confusion and disobedience, so the Winter Soldier was kept either on ice or awake.  Measures were taken to guarantee that.  It’s rare he was needed for more than a day or two anyway.

Knowing that didn’t help the sleep issue.

At first Bucky didn’t want to worry Steve.  Sure, Steve read the same file as he did, so when he first returned, Steve insisted on keeping Bucky company at night, sitting by his bedside as he dozed and jolted awake in a cold sweat, over and over and over.  Every 30 minutes like clockwork.  But that meant Steve didn’t sleep, either, and that was more important.  So by the third night Bucky started pretending to sleep.  He’d close his eyes, slow his breathing and heart rate, thoroughly relaxed his muscles, and then start counting the seconds in his head.  Three hours is ten thousand eight hundred, six hours is twenty-one thousand six hundred.  Sometimes he counted in Russian.  Other times, French.  On rare occasions, Chinese or Korean.  It meant he actually got less sleep, but it meant Steve got more, so Bucky called it a win.

Steve confronted him about it a week later, when they were making dinner.  “Bucky, you haven’t been sleeping.”

“What do you mean?  I’ve been sleeping like a babe the whole week.“  Bucky tried to keep his tone neutral as he sliced the carrots into thin slivers.

"Your arm — it makes a lower-pitched noise when you’re actually asleep."  Steve stated matter-of-factly.  Bucky silently cursed that super-soldier enhanced hearing.  Then Steve did that thing where he looked down and smiled.  "I prefer if you didn’t pretend with me, Buck.”

Maybe it was Steve’s disappointed and resigned smile, maybe it was because Bucky hadn’t slept a wink in a week, but he blew up at Steve.  His left hand darted out and pushed Steve against the refrigerator.  “Look, Steve, stop it.  Don’t stay up with me.  Just accept that they broke that part of me and let me figure it out.”  Bucky felt angry, but he wasn’t sure who the anger was directed towards.  Not Steve.  Never Steve.  He forced his heart rate and breathing to slow, then, more calmly, “You still need to take down more HYDRA bases and save the planet from aliens, and you can’t do that on 2 hours of sleep, super serum or no.”  Somewhere in the process his knife got embedded in a cabinet door. 

Steve just stare at him, then past him and out the window.

“Bucky, if I slept in my own bed I’d sleep even less."  Steve said, quietly.  "I close my eyes and all I can think about is the look on your face as you fell.  My brain runs through all the ways I could have saved you, all the decisions I could have made differently."  Steve smiled. "Last night I came up with the two thousand thirty-first while I waited for your arm to calm down.”

“Wait, you… you were faking it too?"  Bucky didn’t know what was worse — that all his effort had gone to waste, or that he didn’t figure it out.  The old Bucky would have figured it out.  He wasn’t ready to be here with Steve.  He needed to re-calibrate…   Steve grabbed him before he could turn and run, and pulled Bucky in, tight.

"BUCKY,” Steve whispered, voice tight with urgency.  “Stay.  Don’t leave me again."  Bucky looked at Steve, not quite registering his words.  "But when I’m around, you…." 

"I sleep *better.” Steve said firmly.  “When you’re here.  When you’re not pretending.”

Bucky put his head down on Steve’s shoulder, all tension gone and feeling just so tired.  “Steve.  You shouldn’t… I don’t…I still can’t…”

“It’s all right, Bucky."  Steve held him close.  "We have a better chance of figuring it out together."  And Bucky believed him.

————————————-

::shrug::

ETA: hey this went past 50 notes, so I’ve added it to my Captain America Stuff master post.

[sofsstucky]

Thanks for replying. I was inclined to consider it too, that he renounced being an archdruid. That'd almost certainly require a gathering of the higher ups in the circle and the appointment of a new candidate, so it makes sense it's only formalized after the epilogue, when things quiet down. In a way it makes me a bit sad that he gives up his title and honor that comes with it, but it's obvious he was never comfortable in that role.

I don't think however that he has to distance himself from the Emerald Enclave or the Emerald grove itself. A grove is more of a sacred place where druids meet and performed their rituals, maybe a place to educate novices, where they feel more in touch with their god(s), but many druids live elsewhere and only go to their respective groves on special occasions.

Even his community isn't necessarily something unheard of (if we go by dnd lore). There's a city in Tethyr called Mosstone, often known as the city of druids, where Nature and human civilization coexist. It's mostly ruled by druids and as part of the Emerald Enclave as possible. On a personal note, that's my Tav's grove, although she lived in the nearby forest most of the time and only went to the city's grove on special occasions and to report to those in charge. I like to think she helps Halsin build his community by bringing in her knowledge of how things work, or don't, in Mosstone. Their community may not necessarily be independent (I'm not sure there are independent druids, as in terms of how it works, every druid has to choose a circle at level 2) or have a grove of its own, but Halsin and my Tav may live there but still be part of the Emerald grove under the command of the new archdruid.

What do you think of Halsin's status as archdruid after he brings in Francesca to lead the Grove? That actually confuses me. He still goes on being referred to as archdruid (and retains his archdruid armour), so he doesnt seem to have renounced the title. But, we know he didn't feel comfortable in that role and didn't want to go back to the Grove and resume his duties. Since, afaik, there are only 3 archdruid for each circle, what do you think is his actual status especially after the epilogue?

So here's how I see it!

When joining the player, Halsin considered the act to be in service of the Druids, even if he wasn't staying at the Grove. He specifically linked it to nature/preserving the natural order, saying that both the tadpoles and the Shadow Curse needed to be cleansed. He could, therefore, be considered to be performing Archdruidic duties. He turned leadership of the Grove over to another Archdruid to prevent Kagha from happening again (note that the first time he left and turned the role over to Kagha, she didn't actually have the title- she was a "First Druid", acting over the Grove, and demanded to be called Archdruid at times for her ego, but wasn't actually one) but could have left it to someone else if not for Kagha's nonsense.

After the curse is broken, Halsin realizes that he doesn't want to go back to the Grove- there's even a line about it in the scene in act 3 where he gets a letter from Francesca, where the player can tell him he can go back after their adventure ends, and he says he thought he would, once, but isn't so sure anymore. Halsin has come to terms with the fact that his time as Archdruid has passed, BUT has not communicated this to the Druids (likely to promote stability, and also probably lacking the time to compose everything necessary over a letter; it's the kind of thing better suited for a meeting of higher-ranking members of the Circle at any rate). If we assume BG3 Archdruid rules follow DND ones, he would have to be "challenged" for his title to give it up (though this isn't always a serious challenge; an Archdruid who really doesn't want the role anymore can just sort of stand there and let the new person 'win'). So, no need to rush making it official when there's nothing to be done about it yet anyway.

Then, after the last battle, Halsin starts his new commune. He would, I imagine, have time once the commune is established, to attend one last meeting and relinquish his title to some younger Druid. In my headcanon, he has the place declared a Druidic community as well, but less strict than the Grove. By not associating it officially with the Emerald Enclave, he is less bound by strict Druidic principles, and can find ways of leadership that are more harmonic than the "old teachings" he alludes to in the ending, which he says "could never have foreseen this new world." He basically gets to balance the Druidic teachings he cherishes with the new perspectives he's learned from traveling. He will always be a Druid, but he becomes more of a free agent instead of a member of a particular Circle.

That's my take on it!

[sofsstucky]

I couldn't agree more! It always baffled me how some people think he was too soft (and how some want blood!) when dealing with her. In my case, Arabella died before I was back to the Grove and he had Kagha expelled, which I still think was the right decision. He treasures life above all and it's not for him to sentence someone to death, that's for the gods to decide. Either she lives or dies after no longer being a druid (would she lose her druidic gifts? Probably not.) is up to greater powers than himself.

I know this is a hot take, but I actually think Halsin handled the Kagha situation exactly right.

For practical reasons: by demoting her, he sends the message that her actions are disgraceful and not within the Druids' line of thinking- WITHOUT exiling her where she can be made a martyr. Or worse still, where she can make herself into a victim and gain influence with those outside the Grove. By forcing her to stay, disgraced, Halsin reduced her ability to recruit more to her cause. An exiled Kagha could meet up with other Shadow Druids, without being subject to the discipline of the Druidic order for her actions; in short, she could get even more radicalized, cause more radicalization, and cause more damage.

For punishment reasons: by letting her stay but forcing her to face the shame of being made a novice again, Halsin actually punished her even worse than exile, because... well, shame is an INTENSE motivator. True, a lot of the Druids did seem on board with her plan- but quite a few seemed unsure, and even more came back to themselves once Halsin returned. Stripping Kagha's rank not only shames her, but makes an example of her for the others, too.

And then he brought in Francesca- another good move- who could monitor the mood at the Grove and tell them to knock it off if and when Kagha's attitude starts to infect them again, without being accused of playing un/favorites like Halsin might have if he had stayed.

Halsin had a lot more than just punishing to deal with with Kagha; he had to rebuke what she stood for too. Banishing her (assuming she didn't kill Arabella obviously) was the best way to manage the pragmatic needs with the need to punish Kagha's behavior. He didn't let her off easily or forgive her- he quarantined her so her dangerous thoughts couldn't continue to infect others.

[sofsstucky]

Do you ever think about how happy Halsin would be if you tried to pin his wrists bc like. He knows he could break free if he wanted, he knows you know, and all his previous partners knew too- no one ever tried it before. But he loves the attempt to hold him down and dominate him

[sofsstucky]

So, I don't know if it's possible to manifest Druidic magic before properly becoming a Druid, but after seeing how Gale can tell Halsin about conjuring a bunch of rabbits as a toddler...

Please imagine liiiiiittle child Halsin finding a sick animal, like a bird or mouse, and getting very sad about it. His mother watches, awestruck, as a flow of healing magic leaves him. Delighted, he holds up the animal and squeals "I fixed it!" at her.

[sofsstucky]

Broke: Halsin talking about nature all the time is boring

Woke: Halsin's love of nature is a way of showing what a deeply loving person he is; while most others become hardened by their traumas, Halsin still has a big enough heart to love trees and every animal he meets. This reflects how he specifically says he swore off cynicism at the age of 200: he could numb a great deal of his pain if he gave up his optimism, his determination to fix the world's pain, and his love of the small and voiceless beings contained in nature, but he actively refuses, knowing that feeling that pain, that empathy, is who he is- and it proves crucial to him earning his happy ending. This is shown in the Shadow Curse plotline, where all others wrote it off as a lost cause (numb to the cruelty and suffering) while Halsin carried that pain for 100 years as he tried to fix it, and ultimately is rewarded with seeing the curse lifted and his friends Thaniel and Oliver healed. It is also shown in the ending, where his refusal to stop worrying about the plight of the downtrodden of Baldur's Gate despite never being taken seriously leads to him being rewarded with a community, built by his hands literally and metaphorically, that gives him the sense of belonging that always eluded him as well as the children his nurturing soul always sought to have but never was allowed due to his strict sense of duty while he acted as Archdruid. Halsin's love of nature, of life itself, underscores his extraordinary compassion in a world that does not always encourage kindness, and in the end his ability to stay kind is the very reason he is so much happier in the ending than he ever was in the previous 349 years of his life

[sofsstucky]

Cowboy Steve/Chris

Dick out version on AO3! 

Thank you @Happiness Quotes on Twitter for commissioning me!

[sofsstucky]

My incomplete list of circumstantial bits of evidence for werebear!Halsin

Note: I can see the case for both Halsin knowing AND not knowing that he's a werebear- I'm going to include both here.

The most glaring: Halsin can't control his wildshape. This is highly unusual for any Druid, let alone an Archdruid of his age and power. He not only can't control the transformation when experiencing strong emotions, but he can't entirely control his actions when scared or angry; he tells the player, after being rescued from the goblin pens, that he will be unable to not attack the goblins threatening them. This makes no sense for a wildshaped Druid, but makes plenty of sense for a terrified werebear. 1B. No other Druids in the entire game have the wildshape problems Halsin does. 1C. Halsin can control all his other wildshapes properly, and behaves much more like other Druids when using them.

Werebears who haven't learned to control themselves yet (such as if they don't know they are one, are recently turned, etc) often transform unexpectedly when threatened.

Halsin's bear wildshape is treated differently than any other; it's the only wildshape he can't control, and it has a separate mechanic to other wildshapes in-game, being activated not with other wildshapes, but on the screen for abilities that are an intrinsic part of the character's skills. Yes, this is probably because it's only Halsin who can do this, but circumstantially... it is interesting.

Werebears avoid biting to prevent spreading their lycanthrophy (unless they have negotiated with the person they are trying to turn). As far as I've seen (I DEFINITELY could be wrong, though, please let me know if I am), Halsin only ever uses his claws to attack- no biting attacks.

If you look at the sky during the romance scene with the player, the moon is shown very bright and prominent; it isn't 100% certain, but it looks like it could be full.

Halsin is VERY different from his normal personality in bear form, excluding the romance scene; if you use Speak With Animals when he's in the cage, he'll say things like "time for blood" as he prepares to attack the goblins. Werebears in bear form are noted for being irritable and quick to violence, though they attempt to mitigate the effects of these impulses through self-isolation so no one innocent is harmed. 6B. Halsin in normal form tries very hard to not get violent when possible, noting that "killing is never [his] first choice", yet when needs must, he won't hesitate to kill- the opposite of the bear.

If Halsin doesn't know he's a werebear (explaining him not telling you), it's worth noting that it IS possible for werebears who weren't born as such not to be aware, with any actions taken during the full moon tending to get written off as bad dreams. Halsin could just think he has a recurring nightmare about losing control of his bear form.

Halsin resonates wit bears a lot deeper than most other Druids do with their favorite animals. Kagha comes the closest with her love of snakes, but even she speaks more metaphorically, whereas Halsin will do it literally, such as a new, as-yet-unimplemented line where he says he hopes "an old bear" can help the player, making jokes about poking the bear, etc. in fact, he refers to himself as a bear more often than he refers to himself as an elf.

Halsin makes reference to honey mead being his favorite drink. Werebears have a special honey mead concoction they enjoy. This drink is highly intoxicating to non-were, which means it might be more intoxicating than other drinks to were too.

Halsin is shown having an alignment that leans far more towards good than neutral, whereas most of the Druids in this game have a neutral alignment. Werebears are one of two weres in DND lore that have a good alignment.

Werebears usually live solitary lives. Circle of the Moon Druids are noted as being very solitary as well, with it being possible to go weeks without seeing another Druid (though Archdruids of this Circle will of course be more involved). Halsin, before becoming Archdruid, is implied to have fit this, such as him making reference to having hibernated in bear wildshape.

However, werebears are still noted to have a strong sense of community, and they often act as guardian of a particular area. Like Halsin protecting his Grove, then protecting his commune in the end, even noting that his urge to roam has dwindled after finding the latter. In fact, werebears are noted to often be sedentary and prefer not to leave their homes; Halsin is restless and roaming until the epilogue, when all his traumas are resolved, at which point he settles and shows contentment at having gone from "a life of high adventure" to one of anything but. (He says this to the player if romanced, worrying that he took them from just that life, but he repeatedly says he is happy to have given up adventuring.)

It is noted that when werebears don't isolate, one of the more common choices for werebears is.... you guessed it. Becoming a Druid.

Werebears have the ability to call local bears to them. The Emerald Grove has three bears living there.

Werebears don't marry, but might have favorite mates they visit often. Depending on player choice, Halsin might end up a bit more committed than the latter, but still less than the former. Also, this ties in well with Halsin's stated philosophy on polyamory, with him specifically stating that a bear's coupling habits suit him more than another animal's, like, say, a wolf, would.

It is well-known by now that there used to be a Bard Origin named Helia, who would have been either a Halfling or a Gnome. Helia also would have been a werewolf. While it's not known for sure that she was cut specifically FOR Halsin to be made playable (it's doubtful, given how early Helia was cut), there are signs that parts of her story might have been given to Halsin. For example, if one looks in datamined dialogues, certain goblin camp scenes still say that it could be either Helia or Halsin's bear there. Such as this one for the goblin kids running off to warn the adults: "Panicked, the kids run to the room with the goblin warriors and call for help, because the bear / Helia has escaped. After that they disappear." (Not sure if they still run in the final game, but the PAD is still in the files.) Or for the goblin kids throwing rocks before the cutscene is triggered, "One of the goblin kids that is throwing rocks at Helia or the bear." I don't want to speculate too much about cut content, but this suggests that Halsin and Helia's stories may have intertwined somewhat, and that when Helia was cut, parts of her went to Halsin. This may be why Halsin's bear wildshape was written more like him being a were instead; in a meta sense, he "became" a lycanthrope when he inherited part of Helia's story.

Halsin is wide/tall, muscular, and has body hair (though not facial hair), to the point that people repeatedly comment on how unusual he is for an elf. Unusual for an elf, but not a werebear, who are noted for being, you guessed it, wide/tall, muscular, and hairy.

Werebears who are bitten instead of being born as such are almost always transformed by a more experienced werebear and then taken as a protege, to become a guardian of the forest, which would explain a LOT about Halsin if he chose this.

Halsin shows a lot of empathy and compassion for Astarion and the Dark Urge. While of course it could just be his genuinely kind nature, it could also be him relating it to his own experience as a werebear.

Lastly, there's this art from the collector's edition; my guess is that this art was made after they decided Halsin would be playable, but before Karlach had an official design (the IGN interview indicates that Karlach was only added earlier this year, leaving a wide window for this to happen). While this is, of course, subjective, the pose and juxtaposition of the bear to Halsin looks a lot like the sort of art used in werewolf movies. Sort of like how one of Halsin's point-and-click lines, "the power of the bear lies within me," sounds very were-like too. This one is more subjective than the others, but I still wanted to include it.

This is all circumstantial, I know, but i thought it might be interesting to get out there nonetheless!

[sofsstucky]

[sofsstucky]

As a non english speker , Does Silverbough means anything?^^

It does!

[sofsstucky]