#goldenapplefortune

[hbghq]

well hello there. apparently Draconix followed me back on Twitter recently and I'm scared of them (/hj? they're intimidating) so i drew him this

Tumblr can have Quill art. as a treat :3

[goldenapplefortune]

lol nice we're getting followed by pornbots

i cant say im surprised. anyway intro time hi im kay (source: k4yfour) i use any pronouns and i have flowers growing in my skin. it doesnt hurt unless you pull on them too hard but they look cool :3 uhhh yea weve started splitting mcsr introjects lmao fml

[eternalbastards]

moving accounts. we will be blocking people on our new account and won't be participating in drama or letting our past catch up to us because honestly, fuck that, it's not worth it.

gonna start prioritizing our mental health when it comes to the internet because honestly this place is a shithole and i wish we'd never gotten tumblr or discord to begin with.

if people want to follow us there that's cool, we're @goldenapplefortune — we might come back here on occasion but this will be our last post.

o7 tumblr

[goldenapplefortune]

im gonna deadname his platform like he deadnames his kid <3

cry me a river, muskrat

[excalibursbane]

hello people just now finding my blog!

why are there people just now following me i don't understand--

ANYWAY. hey there, i'm starquill :) i've had this blog for a while but i'm not super active on it (and actually lost the login for almost a year) or in the dsmp fandom (which is what this blog was centered around) anymore. i'll still take writing requests, but i'm much more active on @goldenapplefortune and @hbghq :D

i miss a lot of the people on here who were frequent anons, i remember slime anon, pen anon/rambling anon, bliss, i miss you guys. if you wanna come and find me, be my guest :) i'll welcome you all with open arms.

in the meantime, i'll be checking this blog on occasion to see what's up, but i won't really be posting anything new. my inbox has been empty for months and i don't really have inspiration to write anything for the fandom anymore. i'm still open to ideas, as always :)

i love you guys, and hopefully i'll see you over on my other blog :)

much love, Excalibur & Co

[minikaibacorp]

participated in a big colorcrew magma board with some cool people today :-) will post my fav tiny snippets of my own things on @piercingclowns

some of the others cool artists: @viewsbourg @goldenapplefortune @beewineline @jestersking

[hbghq]

if i in theory posted a link to my discord server on here.

would mcsrblr find it bc i'm looking for more people

i'm hoping to start streaming eventually which is what i originally made it for so it's kinda. themed around me? but there's that and there's just art updates (and my screaming into the void and dumbassery)

we've got pluralkit, poketwo, there's a music bot, and my friends keep pestering me to invite Hanabi and MoleyG (SPECIFICALLY THOSE TWO. AND DRACONIX.) so. who knows!

[goldenapplefortune]

intro post!

hey there, call me Gapple or Fortune :) i'm 18, i use he/they pronouns, and i'm officially on Tumblr now. empty blogs look like bot accounts so i'm mostly making this so people don't think i'm some p0rn bot or something. but hello again Tumblr :)

edit: credits!

my pfp credit

my banner credit

[goldenapplefortune]

y'know maybe i don't mind being a schlatt main so much. at least for rn.

sorry to the mcsr mutuals but i will always fall back on schlatt and co :3

also i've had tumblr for almost a decade now it's stupid as fuck that we can't change a side blog to a main blog (yes, i am nineteen. yes, that means i had tumblr when i was like 9-10. i got it in 5th grade. unhinged, i know. i had unrestricted internet access and it was a really weird era.)

[hbghq]

hi btw if you're getting boops from @goldenapplefortune that's me that's my main account unfortunately on tumblr you cant change a side blog to a main account so i'm perpetually a schlatt main rip (not that i mind i'm just not associated with that, everyone knows me as quill hbghq)

[goldenapplefortune]

little rambly post thing. well. vent. prepare.

i hate making posts like this but i've been having a shit time recently with my own identity and dealing with personal shit so i gotta put this SOMEWHERE. who knows, maybe someone else can relate.

only reason i'm putting this here is because this is pretty much my alt account, i'm almost always on hbghq and not this account because of my public presence, but i don't particularly care if people who've followed this account (why are you guys here) see this.

i fucking hate being trans. genuinely. i see so many people going "be proud of yourself and who you are! you should love your trans body because it's done so much for you!" that mindset is great and all but for the love of all that's holy and unholy can we stop fucking romanticizing dysphoria. can we stop romanticizing being immensely uncomfortable in your own skin. can we stop romanticizing the thing that has led me to hold a knife to my own chest on the worst of nights and claw at my hips and stomach whenever i wear something my size or one size up. it's not fun, it's not cute, i'm not your little short king femboy or any of that bullshit, i'm fucking struggling to get through the day because i can't physically bind for more than a few hours. and i can't get hrt. i don't have a doctor or literally anything related. i'm trans, neurodivergent, and suicidal and despised by the american health system and government and you expect me to love myself? fuck no, get out of here.

i wish i could have been happy as a girl. i would have been a fuckin ugly girl but i wouldn't have had to deal with the shit that i do. i wouldn't cringe and want to tear my hair out every time i get referred to as "she". i would have been fine with having a noticeable chest. i would have probably been a lot happier with my life and made better decisions. i would have had higher standards for myself. but i'm trans, so i can't look at myself in the mirror. i'm trans, so i can't wear tight-fitting clothing even while binding because i have a large chest. i'm trans, so i hate myself and don't take care of myself like i should. it's a great experience.

oh yeah, and the icing on the fucking cake is that i'm fucking miserable. not regular miserable like i used to be, but some sort of new fucked up miserable that makes me feel about twenty times worse about myself when i see a trans person who's actually happy. good for them, sure, but for fuck's sake why can't i have that? why can't that be me? i should have gotten diagnosed with gender dysphoria in eighth fucking grade and now i'm in COLLEGE. why the fuck can't i have that? what am i doing wrong? why does everything cost SO FUCKING MUCH??? i physically can't even look at the price on the gas pump anymore. i don't have money. i doubt insurance will pay for it. and i can't do needles under any circumstances. i can't fucking do this. i genuinely don't know how i'm gonna live.

[goldenapplefortune]

holy fuck I just ran into the blog of an old abuser by pure fucking chance I might explode slash BAD

[goldenapplefortune]

because you're right

i love him he's the only normal person in this no fourth wall meta world and he's just like "what the fuck are you people fucking talking about" at all times 😭

[goldenapplefortune]

omg the real quill starquill hai :3

omgomg hai ezra bioluminescentfrog :3

[goldenapplefortune]

i'm going to scream i entirely forgot we did an introject intro on one of my sideblogs??? jesus fucking christ watch me dissolve out of pure anxiety holy SHIT

[goldenapplefortune]

I'M GONNA CRY TUMBLR'S FUCKING BREAKING ON MY COMPUTER