#gold star for you melody! and for me for accomplishing something

[houseflyy]

—❁—

She imagines it’d be fun to write affectionate letters to her friends, saying words that they can keep! But writing is a challenge and a hassle—they don’t make writing utensils for flies—and it takes Melody a long time to understand what all the words say in the first place...

She’d prefer coming up to them and just saying it all then and there:

“You’re my friend! You make me so happy! Thank you!”

If she writes all that down, she won’t be able to buzz around her friend in joyful circles as she speaks it! Besides, she’s much better at talking.

Though, as she’s pondering it, she’s hit with a striking new thought: What if her friend is much better at writing than talking?

Hmm. That’s a tough one.

She supposes she ought to start practicing her letters a little more. Maybe a broken shred of pencil lead as a utensil will work fine?

—

[calebdumes]

for @pretchatta who wanted kanera in evening wear and romantic tension. i hope i lived up to your wishes!

fandom: star wars rebels

relationship: kanan jarrus/hera syndulla

rating: n/r

word count: 2.6k

~

When it came to opulence and beauty, the estate of Count Jafan Harik had it in droves. From the marbled walls etched with gold and lined with expensive art, to the exotic foods served on guilded trays, every inch of the mansion displayed the man’s abundant wealth and taste for the grandeur. But even surrounded by priceless artifacts and glittering gems, Kanan couldn’t take his eyes off of Hera. 

Her gown was simple, compared to some of the other dresses Kanan had seen that evening, just a form fitting bodice that left her shoulders and arms bare, showing off the graceful white markings that traveled down to her wrists. The skirt hung off her slender waist like water, long flowing layers of gauzy fabric that had been dyed varying shades of dark blue and purple. The tiny crystals that had been woven into the folds caught on the light when she moved, giving off the impression of a shimmering night sky. 

Kanan had nearly tripped over his own two feet when he first saw her emerge from her cabin, dressed and ready for the mission - his mind going completely and utterly blank. Hera was beautiful no matter what she wore, but dressed in that gown, the deep color of the dress against her green skin, the gems in her headdress glittering as brightly as her eyes, Kanan felt the breath punch from his lungs and heat pool in his belly. 

She was stunning, like a dignitary from Ryloth, all the sophistication and grace of royalty surrounding her as if it had been there her whole life. It left Kanan mesmerized. He wanted to reach out and touch, to trace the white markings on her shoulders, to feel her lips against his own. She was the most beautiful being in the galaxy.

And Kanan wanted her. 

“Have you seen him yet?” Hera asked out of the corner of her mouth before taking a sip of her bright red cocktail. 

Kanan mentally shook himself and forced his eyes to do a sweep of the ballroom. It wasn’t the first time he had been distracted by Hera tonight and he had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last.

“No sign of him yet.” His eyes caught on the two ISB officers standing stiffly by their stormtrooper escorts, somehow managing to look completely out of place even in their regal dress uniforms. Kanan’s lip curled at the sight of them but didn’t let his gaze linger. For once, the Imperials weren’t the target of tonight’s mission. 

Hera frowned, setting her glass down gently on the silk covered table they were standing at. “I don’t like this.” she said, scanning the small gathering of beings had gathered on the polished dance floor. “He should be here by now.”

“Relax.” Kanan said, reaching out to touch her bare shoulder, her skin warm under his fingertips. It sent a thrill of electricity racing up his arm, his heartbeat doubling in pace. “It’s still early. And from what I hear, he likes to make a grand entrance.”

Hera didn’t look convinced but a light blush had begun to form on the tops of her cheeks. Kanan looked down and his hand and quickly withdrew it from her shoulder. 

Things with Hera were...complicated to put it simply. He was in love with her, that he could at least say with one hundred percent certainty. Kanan had loved her from the moment they met in the mud covered streets of Shaketown and he hadn’t stopped falling for her since. Hera had more charm and charisma in her little finger than most sentient beings in the galaxy possessed. She was headstrong to a fault, impulsive (even if she said otherwise), and cared so much that she was willing to risk everything if it meant that people could live free. Hera was good and smart and funny and Kanan was helplessly gone for her.

But he never did anything about it. Because she was his partner and his friend and they had built a relationship based on trust and respect. If she wasn’t ready or didn’t want anything more than friendship from him, then Kanan wasn’t going to push it. He valued their friendship too much to ruin it over unrequited feelings. 

Except there was something, more than just friendship between them. He could feel it in the quiet spaces after a mission, in the lingering glances and easy touches that came on so naturally. There was something there, Kanan just didn’t know what to do about it. Not without Hera making the first move. 

“I guess it’s too much to ask that the Count would show up to his own party on time.” Hera said, taking another sip of her drink. 

“Eh, you know these rich types,” Kanan shrugged. “They think the galaxy revolves around them.” 

“Sounds like you know from experience.” Hera drummed her fingers on the table. Kanan’s eyes fell to the white markings on her wrist that snaked their way up her arms to her shoulders. They were the same markings that decorated her lekku, gentle sloping white arches that formed a graceful design that put most artwork housed in the Count’s estate to shame. 

But then again, Kanan was a little bit biased. When it came to Hera, she beat out just about everything. 

“You meet one, you meet them all.”

“Is that so?”

Kanan rested his elbows on the table. “That’s been my experience.”

Hera hummed thoughtfully at his response before saying, “You know, I’m surprised you decided to help out on this mission. I know you still aren’t fully on board with my...cause.”

“I make excellent arm candy.” Kanan winked, his heart flipping as her jade green eyes trailed up his body. “Besides, we can help a lot of people with the information that’s on that list.”

There was pride shining in her eyes as she looked up at him, the light catching on the many gems that made up the silver headdress that sat on her head and twisted down her lekku. Kanan tried to ignore how his stomach flipped at her expression. “We can’t help anyone if the Count doesn’t show.”

“Give it time, he’ll be here.” He could tell she was growing impatient, the tips of her lekku flicking sharply in odd intervals. Naboo wasn’t the safest place for rebels and he sensed that Hera would rather get off this rock sooner rather than later. Kanan glanced over to the bodies swaying on the dancefloor as an idea struck him. “Come dance with me.” he said. 

Hera blinked at him in surprise. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Sure it is.” he smiled. “It’ll give you a better view of the room.” he pointed out. And it would hopefully help her relax until the Count decided to grace the party goers with his presence and they could get this show on the road. 

Hera continued to look at him doubtfully but made no move to stop him from leading her onto the dance floor. “Fine.” she said as Kanan settled one hand over her hip, the fabric of her skirt soft against his palm. “But just for one song.”

Kanan smiled at her. “Sounds like a deal.”

They swayed in an unhurried motion on the outer fringes of the dancefloor, keeping the entrance to the ballroom within their sights at all times. The music was light and heavy on the stringed instruments, a gentle melody that reminded Kanan of the many waterfalls of Naboo’s capital city. As they danced, Kanan watched as the tight line of tension slowly dripped from Hera’s shoulders. 

“Have you ever gone to parties like this before?” Hera asked as they swayed together.

“You do remember where you met me right?” He arched a brow in response. 

Hera rolled her eyes but there was a smile growing on her lips. “Don’t pull that with me. I know Gorse was just another one of your many adventures traveling through the galaxy. You could have gone to something like this before.”

Kanan smirked at her. It was true, Gorse was just another stop along his way but even as a youngling at the Temple, he had never been to something as extravagant as this. “I’ve been around but all this,” he waved a hand at the ornate room, “is too rich for my blood. What about you?”

“Once.” She nodded. “When I was really little, before the Clone Wars. I don’t remember much about it but I remember how beautiful my mother looked in her dress. I remember thinking that I wanted to be just like her someday.”

“What was she like? Your mother?”

Hera smiled at him, her eyes going distant for a moment. “She was kind. Always willing to lend a hand to those in need. And brave.”

“Well,” Kanan said softly. “For what it’s worth, I think you’ve accomplished that.”

Color bloomed over Hera’s cheeks. “You’re just saying that to be nice.” she mumbled. 

“Hera.” he said ducking down to capture her gaze. “When have I ever said anything just to be nice?”

“Do you want that list alphabetically or by date?”

“I’m being serious.” He said, pulling her closer to him. “Look around this room. Not a single soul here gives a kriff about the state of the galaxy. They wouldn’t lift a finger to help. But you, you’re doing something about it. You don’t think your mother would have done the same?”

The blush on Hera’s cheeks grew deeper, her chest rising and falling in light breaths. Kanan could feel her pulse beneath his fingertips. There was a look gleaming deep in her green eyes, bright and burning. It pulled him in, setting his soul on fire while the world around them melted away until all that was left was just Hera.

He loved her. He loved her more than anything, more than the air in his lungs or heart in his chest. He loved her. And he knew, in that moment, surrounded by all the riches the galaxy could afford, he would never love anyone as much as he loved her.

“Kanan,” Hera said, her breath ghosting over his lips. She was so close now, her body a long line of heat against his. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.” He swallowed thickly, his throat suddenly bone dry. He could barely hear the music over the rush of blood in his ears. She licked her lips, her fingers tightening against his hip. “Kanan I-”

But before Hera could finish speaking the music suddenly cut off as the doors to the ballroom were thrown open and the Count made his grand entrance. The people clapped as a tall man with raven hair and white silk robes strode into the room, his dark eyes drinking in the adoration from the crowd. Hera took a step back. Kanan tried not to frown. 

Count Jafan was oddly enough, not escorted by any type of private security. He didn’t seem to mind as people milled up to him, shaking his hand and tittering on about the party. Kanan watched as the thin man smiled and carried on as if the party goers were his adoring subjects. In many ways they were. Just about everyone here at the party wanted something from the Count, themselves included. But while most tried to wine and dine the man to get what they wanted, Kanan and Hera had a...different plan. 

“Just say when.” Kanan said as they walked back to their table, leaving the dance floor behind. “I’ll follow your lead.” 

Hera flagged down a protocol droid and took another bright red drink off of the serving tray. “Wait until he gets closer, then we’ll make our move. But we need to intercept him before our ISB friends over there come to collect.”

Kanan eyed the Imperial officers that were now watching the Count with sharp eyes as he fawned with his guests. They were after the same thing he and Hera had come for, only they had paid the good Count a reasonable fee. Kanan and Hera didn’t see the need for money to exchange hands for this type of transaction. A small distraction and deft fingers would do the trick just fine. 

 “You know,” Kanan said while they waited for their moment to arrive, “I have to give the Count some credit, making the Imperials come to him for the information. It’s a gutsy move. They must want that data chip pretty bad.”

“Yeah,” Hera laughed without humor. “Too bad the Count is on their side. We could use someone with his connections.”

Kanan gave the man a once over as he drew near. Other than the fine clothes he was dressed in, there wasn’t much to the man. His dark hair was slicked back and there was a perpetual smirk on his face that made Kanan want to punch it off. “His money, we could use. The Count himself? I think we’d get more help from a blurrg.”

That time, Hera’s laugh was genuine. “Alright.” she said with a mischievous grin. “Let’s go meet our host.”

Kanan wrapped his arm around Hera’s, mindful of the drink still in her hand as they moved towards the Count. The music had returned, the dance floor filling out now that the Count had finally made his appearance. Kanan and Hera walked arm in arm around the edge of the ball room, past the gilded tables laden down with rich foods and groups of beings reflecting on the numerous painting that lined the wall. They moved at a leisurely pace that put them on track to walk right past their host.

Just as they were about to pass the man, Hera tripped over the hem of her dress, her drink crashed to the floor as she landed in the unsuspecting Count’s arms. Kanan reached from her, pulling her back on to her feet and away from the startled Count.

“Count Herik!” Hera said in a thick Rylothian accent as she adjusted her headdress. “I-I am so sorry!” 

The Count’s deep brown eyes landed on Hera, a slimy grin spreading across his face. He took her now empty hand in his own and brought it to his lips.

“It was merely an accident, my lady.” he said. “Enjoying the party I hope?” 

“Oh yes!” Hera said breathlessly, still trying to regain her composure from the slip. “You have a lovely home Count.”

“I certainly hope so.” Count Herik chuckled. “I spent a fortune on it!” The crowd around them laughed at his joke and Kanan resisted the urge to roll his eyes. 

“Our apologies for the mess.” Kanan cut in. “But my wife, she isn’t feeling very well. We were about to leave.” 

Count Herik flicked a disinterest glance at Kanan before turning his attention back to Hera. “I hope you get a chance to view the gardens before you leave my dear, I had some Rylothian vine flowers imported in just a few rotations ago. They seem to be taking to Naboo quite well.”

Kanan bit down on the inside of this cheek. “Perhaps on our way out.” Hera smiled at him, leaning heavily into Kanan. “Thank you again for such a wonderful evening.”

“Of course.” Count Herik nodded to her before stepping away. Kanan led Hera out of the ball room and into the hallway that would take them to the entrance. As soon as they were outside, Hera straightened and lifted a small data chip up between her fingers. 

“The Count should really learn to protect his valuables.” she said with a smirk. 

“Nice job Captain Hera.” Kanan said, taking the chip from her fingers and slipping it into the pocket of his pants. “Now let's get out of here before he realizes it’s gone.”

“He won’t know it’s gone until it’s too late.”

“You have a lot of practice in picking pockets?” He asked as he flagged down a hover taxi. 

“More than you I bet.”

Kanan laughed. “Honestly, you’re probably right.” He held open the door for her as she climbed into the taxi, gathering her skirts around her delicately. They didn’t speak on the trip back to the space port, the glowing lights of Theed passing by out the window. At some point, Hera’s head fell onto his shoulder, her eyes closed. The metal of her headdress pressed uncomfortably against the bone but he didn’t mind. He let her rest until the spaceport came into view and the taxi slowed. 

He helped her out of the cab and paid the driver before turning back to see Hera standing under the dim light of the street lamp looking tired but accomplished. A soft smile broke out on his face as he walked up to her. 

“What?” she asked, arching a brow.

“Nothin’.” He replied walking with her towards the Ghost.

“Hey Kanan.” She said, pausing. “What I was going to say earlier…”

“Don’t worry about it Hera.” Kanan cut her off, not willing to break the pleasant mood that had fallen between them. He didn’t know what she wanted to tell him before, back on the dancefloor but he had a sinking suspicion that he wouldn’t like it. He rather be left wondering than have to confront the truth. 

“No, I want to say it.” she grabbed on to his wrist, holding it tightly. “I’ve been wanting to say it for a while now.”

Kanan’s breath froze in his chest. “What is it?”

Hera bit her lip, her eyes searching his face as if it held the answer. Instead of saying anything, she stood on the tips of her toes and kissed him lightly on the lips. Kanan blinked at her in surprise as she pulled away, his mind going blank for the second time that day. 

“I like you.” she said, still holding on to his wrist. “I know I said that my mission comes first and I stand by that but I can’t help the way I feel about you and I think you might feel the same way too.”

She was looking at him with a worried look on her face but Kanan couldn’t quite get past her words. She liked him. She had feelings for him. She was ready for them to be something more. 

“Kanan could you please say something? You’re kind of freaking me out.”

Without thinking, Kanan pulled her into his arms and kissed her. She melted into him, her hands cupping the sides of his face as he spun them around in the air. They broke apart, breathless and smiling. 

“I like you too,” he said. “If that wasn’t clear.” 

Hera nipped at the side of his mouth. “I think you might need to explain it to me again.” 

“Hera.” he said in between kisses. “I’ll explain it to you as much as you like.”

She rested her forehead against his. “I love you.” She whispered. 

Kanan held her close, his whole world resting in his arms. “I love you too.”

[chocolatecakeandbl]

Wangxian SFW Fic Rec

(*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡

1712290 Silver and Gold - beeswaxing

Wandering through a rather busy night market on the boundaries of Gusu after a successful night hunt, Wei Wuxian with his son and nephew chance on a mysterious cultivator who rivals him at talismans. Curious as to the wares she has spread out over her table, he forgets the simple rule - you break it, you buy it. AKA Wei Wuxian gets turned into a child and because it is Wei Wuxian, no one has any idea what to expect.

61123513 Closer than Eternity - Netrixie  @coffeefordage

Wei Ying just wants to graduate, figure out what he's doing with his life, and make sure there's a Starbucks within twenty feet of him at all times.

It would be a lot easier to accomplish if he wasn't being stared at by worryingly familiar golden eyes every time he opened up his social media accounts.

-

In a world where immortals keep to themselves, one of them has decided to let himself be seen.

1758418 The Best of Gusu - Netrixie 

A world where I went, "What if Wei Ying was a wolf?" and then ran with it. We've got wangxian, nielan, fluff and angst, soft!boys and A-Yuan.

1590286 a civil combpgain - Ariaste

A Jin Ling and Lan Sizhui marriage proposal fic with a hilarious amount of Wangxian - summary by thisiswherethemagichappens

25556128 shades of grey - cl410 - @i-like-plan-m​

This was why he didn’t like to leave the Unclean Realm, Nie Mingjue thought with dismay. Guileless dark eyes blinked up at him, tiny hands clutching at his robes.

Or: Nie Mingjue comes across Wei Wuxian before Jiang Fengmian, and decides Nie Huaisang could use a friend.

55240066 Twelve Moons and a Fortnight - stiltonbasket @stiltonbasket​

"Let me get this straight. You really want me to stand in for you while you help Jin Ling settle in at Koi Tower?"

"Who else do I have?" Jiang Cheng snaps, ears turning scarlet as Jin Ling tries to pretend he isn't listening. "Father trained you to serve as my deputy, didn't he? And don't say you don't remember, or I'll break your legs."

"Well, yes," Wei Wuxian manages. "Uh. I'll just let Lan Zhan know I'll be at Lotus Pier until you're back at home, then."

In which Wei Wuxian spends the year before his wedding as Yunmeng Jiang's acting sect leader, and the cultivation world's greatest love story finds its happy ending with the help of three juniors, a teenage romance, and one very involved (and exasperated) younger brother.

66065335 The fault in our stars - Vamillepudding 

Oscar darling and GQ's Hottest Buns 2017-20 Wei Wuxian doesn't want to get held up in the coffee line and pays for the guy in front of him. When it turns out that it's the only person in Beijing who doesn't recognise him, Wei Wuxian couldn't be more delighted.

When he accidentally leaves his wallet at home, Lan Wangji, the only classical musician and composer who could actually boast of being famous on a global scale, is ready for the most embarrassing moment of his life. When the man behind him pays for him, he's ready to refuse any and all advances. Until it turns out that he doesn't know who Lan Wangji is.

Or: Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are famous. They don't realise this about each other. Cue Lan Wangji desperately trying to be Wei Wuxian's sugar daddy while Wei Wuxian worries that Lan Wangji won't be able to make rent this month.

22267204 Upon metal - Astrobandit 

“I want tea.”

Wei Wuxian blinked. “What?”

“My wish. I want tea,” Lan Zhan elaborated. Not that it made it any less confusing.

“Tea?”

A nod.

“You have the opportunity to obtain absolute power, and you wish for… tea?”

“The perfect tea is hard to come by.”

(or twelve wishes Wei Wuxian granted, and one wish he couldn’t, but still came true.)

20393197 golden - queen-gee

Wei Ying sees him through the flowers and silk and his heart whispers, oh. There you are.

It is there in one moment and then gone in the next, just a fleeting hint of recognition, relief that spreads through his chest with intensity that makes his knees wobble. There is a beautiful man at his sister’s wedding and he is looking at Wei Ying as if he has been struck speechless and something about the curve of that man’s bowed lips, the molten gold of his eyes, the way his throat bobs and his jaw slackens—it feels like coming home.

----------

A beautiful stranger asks Wei Ying to dance.

24131932 the sea and the stars - aetherya

"It is the second night that Lan Wangji has heard the melody of a flute floating through his open windows. The sound of waves crashing against the shore just behind his home quiets, almost as if in answer." in short, a modern take on wangxian, loosely inspired by a quote from madeline miller's the song of achilles: “I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world.”

[fmdsimon]

20-30

idol life and career meme : not accepting

did you enjoy the lifestyle of a trainee or of a debuted idol more?

“i don’t think i can really say much about this yet. i’ve been a trainee for around six years, but only a debuted idol for two months, everything is still so new that it seems amazing and overwhelming. evenifi say idol life now, that might change in the future when i get accustomed to everything after all. right now it seems like the dream come true, but even dreams become daily life some day. that’s just how it is even though it’s sad. but in the end i think i’d still pick life as a debuted idol over life as a trainee, because it’s much easier for me to accomplish my goal of making people smile like this, and it will continue to be so in the future.”

what one song or album by another group or soloist would you have liked to release yourself?

“bohemian rhapsody. nothing will ever get as iconic as that one song, so imagine being the creator behind it. i don’t know a single person who doesn’t know it or have at least heard of it even if they don’t know the lyrics or melody. as for kpop songs... i really like charm’s smile flower or pinwheel. i’ve always really liked listening to ballads and charm has some amazing ones that really show off their vocal talent. i really admire them.”

describe your dream sub-unit (members and concept).

“we’re already such a small group that if you were to take away some of our members we’d barely remain! i think it would be really cool though maybe for a concert or something to do accoustic arrangements of some of our songs! like i can imagine a really emotional rendition of nap of a star. i’d pick me, hyun ( @fmddaehyun ), and blue ( @fmdkyubok ) for this. and then haru ( @fmdharu ) and rioh ( @fmdrioh ) could do some amazing dance performance and show off their real talent! both of them are so good at dancing i’m sure they might even go viral for it if they had a chance to let loose as they please!”

out of the following six options, would you rather be allowed to play a major hand in the lyrics, production, choreography, styling, music videos, or concepts you release?

“definitely lyrics. lyrics have always mattered a lot to me because they’re the whole essence of the song, the meaning, the interpreation. you can really capture emotions with lyrics and make people listen to your songs in a whole different way and relate to it. that’s why i like our title track crown so much myself. i think it’s a very relateable song and that it has a really good message, and i really hope we can continue making songs like that in the future!”

which of the two other companies (out of bc, dimensions, and gold star) you are not currently signed under would you rather be an artist in?

“hm, both of them have their ups and downs so it’s kind of hard to pick... in the end i think that it doesn’t as much depend on the company but the group you’re in. if you have awful chemistry with your team mates it doesn’t matter where you are, it’ll still be just as bothersome. but for the sake of picking one, i’d pick dimensions, that’s where my best friend is after all!”

what is your least favorite part of being an idol?

“that has to be the fact that we have little control over ourselves. i know we signed a contract on this, but the moment you sign that you kind of sell away your entire self down to your personality. we are owned by our company and if we dare to even think out of line it won’t go about unpunished. i don’t like it but at the same time i deal with it. i don’t matter really, i’ve sold my soul for other’s sake and that’s the only thing that matters to me.”

what is your favorite part of being an idol?

“that’s easy. the fan interactions. even if what we’re selling through fansigns and stuff like that is just the image the fans want to see, i think there’s also something real in that image. others might not agree with me, but i don’t think you can build a character without putting at least some of yourself into it. if you did, you would either lose the facade along the way or lose yourself in the facade. of course i can’t tell this to the fans, but dealing with them is kind of bothersome. but even if it is, i also look forward to it, because seeing their happy faces when they encounter us makes it all the worthwhile!”

would you rather be incredibly famous with a terrible reputation and hated by most or be fairly unknown with a good reputation and adored by those who know of you? why?

“interesting. i think most people would pick the latter here, no? it makes sense, i don’t think anyone would want to be hated... which is why i’m probably weird for picking the first. i don’t really care about myself or my image -- it’s not that i care about fame either, but if i’m completely unknown then i can’t reach out to everyone like i want to. i want the whole world to know who i am after all. it might be selfish and it might not make much sense if the world is going to hate me, but if i can discard myself for the sake of others then it’s fine. maybe it’s even easier to laugh at someone you hate because it’s satisfying!”

what moment in your career are you proudest of so far?

“i can’t really say my career has a lot of moments so far in the first place, so there might be other more memorable moments along the way that i don’t know of yet, but so far it definitely has to be getting into the top five in hot topic. was the show rigged from the get go? i don’t know and honestly i don’t care. i deserve this spot too and since no one knows either way, i might as well have made it in by my own effort... i wish more people would see it that way, but we have got quite a bit of criticism before we even debuted. people complaining that their favourite contestants didn’t make it in and using the rumours as an excuse to assume the results would have been different for them otherwise. but they aren’t the results are as they are and nothing is going to change that. it’s bittersweet in a way, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s the moment that defined us as vive, and i am incredibly proud of us for that.”

what have you learned about yourself and/or society since becoming a celebrity?

“for myself i guess i got surprised at how greedy i can be. before i joined hot topic i was ready to give up on idol life and just accept the fact that i was just going to end up with an ordinary day job as a salaryman or something like that. but when i started getting recognition i started wanting more and more. it felt amazing. to watch everyone’s eyes on me and to have everyone cheer for me. i love that. i want to feel that feeling much more from here on out; to have vive achieve incredible things and show everyone who doubted us that we are indeed the nation’s handpicked group and that they were not wrong in choosing me or any of the others.”

what would you like to change about how society views or treats idols?

“this is a bit difficult because a lot of things could be changed if you ask me. but if i have to pick one thing, i think i’d do something about how readily people trust rumous. anyone can post anything online, and suddenly you become a trashy human being for something you may not even have done. if someone says you looked at them the wrong way in primary school, suddenly there’s rumous about you being a school bully, if you treat a girl nicely suddenly you’re dating. that kind of thing. we have no room for mistakes and that’s fair i guess -- we are supposed to be painted as some kind of superhumans who can do no wrong, but sometimes you don’t even make a mistake and then you’re going down.”

[c-atm]

Jambudweek Sleep/Contact: Astral connection

Connie stretched as she walked into her room, ready for bed. Today was an almost perfect birthday. The smile on her face was as glowing as it was when she got to Little Homeworld.

She still remembered seeing Amethyst and Lion appear outside her room, urging her to come with them to Little Homeworld for something big and all hands need to be on deck, Connie was out the house and on lion within a minute; sword strapped, ready to fight.

So imagine her surprise when they slid out of lion's portal Into a party, celebrating her. Hearing both the residents of Beach city and Little Homeworld wish her a happy birthday. Receiving gifts from everyone and getting hugs and praise  by the entirety of the crystal gems...Well almost.

Steven wasn't there. Haven't been around for quite awhile now.  Ten months since anyone heard from him. No text, voicemail...Nothing. 

Her smile fell a bit when she thought of him. Was he well? Was he hurt? Did he find what he was looking for? Did he miss them? Did he miss her? Did he know it was her birthday? Why didn't he take her with him? Were they still Jam Buds?

"Stop Connie. Enough of those thoughts." Connie shook her head as she got ready to sleep, trying to keep her good vibes. With a sigh, she laid in her bed eyes close as she gave a silently prayed for Steven's return as she did every night. It wasn't long til she was fast asleep.

 "Connie...Connie.."

Connie groaned as she heard someone calling her name.  Feeling someone caressing her cheek with their rugged palm, the touch held a large measure of familiarity, enough to make her snuggle into it. 

"Hey..Birthday Berry."

Her eyes opened instantaneously at the name. She looked up to a starlit sky, and a familiar  smiling face. She reached up shakingly, touching his slightly whiskered face. 

"This..This is a dream right? You're not really with me right now."

"I mean... Astral projection so.."

She could feel her eyes mist up as he chuckled. Sitting up on his lap, she cupped his cheeks taking in his appearance clearly. 

His hair was longer than before, in  thick curls reaching his mid back. His eyes held a bit of roughness mixed with his natural gentleness in them. He had a couple scars on his cheek and above his left eye. He had a tan, his skin almost the color of beach sand. His face as a whole was more defined, but still retained that Steven-y stature.

"Steven…" 

She grasped his red and black star shirt as glaring deeply into his eyes.

"You left without telling anyone, anything.."

"Well, I told dad."

"A week after you left! The only communication ANY of us got!"

"I..I 'm sorry...I had to go…"

"Did you have to leave that? Couldn't you have said goodbye...To me at least?"

"I'm sorry, Connie.. I'm so sorry, but I had to do it."

"You left us..left me..You promise we'll face everything together and you left me again...I would've left with you."

"I know..I considered  it...but that would've been selfish of me."

she remained silent for a moment before she broke down, sobbing on his chest. She allowed herself to be held by him as she berated him for leaving without so much as a word, for hurting everyone when he did. Steven took it all as he rubbed her back and kissed her crown, whispering apologies.

It would be a few minutes before she settled  down into his hold allowing herself to bask in the warmth of her best friend, holding him closer afraid he'll disappear again.

"I miss you so much, Biscuit."

Steven deepened his hold around her. "I miss you too, Berry. Think about you and everyone, everyday."

"Where are you now? Close by?" 

Steven sighed sadly at the hope in her voice 

"Sorry, but no. Still far away. Some small inn in South America, I think . "

"Explains the tan…" She looked up at him with shy puffy eyes. "It looks good on you."

"That seems to be the consensus around here as well."

Connie arched an eyebrow  as she sat up out of his hug. Her arms folded across her middle. "Oh, really? You've gotten popular with girls now?"

Steven rubbed his head sheepishly. "I mean, not really popular..Just had some girls stare at me and approached me ever so often."

"Uh-huh. " Connie sighed as she looked him up and down. He was still a big guy, but he had put on some muscle. She found her cheeks burning a bit when she drank in his appearance as a whole.

" I guess I can understand where they're coming from."

Steven her a teasing chuckle. "You're not jealous now, are you?"

Connie looked away with a side pout.  "Oh be quiet…"

"You've gotten prettier, since last time I saw you."

Connie tried to hold her anger, but broke at one glance of his boyish smile. She found it hard to look at him so she kept her face turned, but looked through  the corner of her eye.

"You think so?

Steven nodded feeling a small heat come to his own face. He took in her nape length side bang hair. Her bright black eyes, her full lips, her pointed nose, and deep glossy brown skin. 

His blush intensified when he realized she was in her sleepwear which consisted of one of his old blue and yellow shirts, and thigh length sweatpants. Both which hugged her frame gently, but still gave him an idea about how much she grew in his absence.

"Steven. ..You're staring."

Steven faked a cough before turning away from Connie,who giggled.

"Sorry.. Just..Appreciating how much you have grown."

"Oh, and exactly what are you 'appreciating', you vagabond." Connie smirked as she leaned forward with an impishly seductive glint in her eyes.

"Connie.."

"Well…"

"You're serious "

"I wanna know."

Steven didn't say anything before pulling her in close and resting his head right her breast, his arms wrapped around her waist.

"Everything…"

"You don't play fair, Steven." Connie held him close, her left arm around his shoulders, her right hand holding the back of his head as she kissed his very tip top." I should be hitting you, kicking your butt all across the astral plane."

Her grip tightened  as she continued. " But All I want for you is to come home..come back to us..to me.."

"Nini-"

Connie shook her head. "I won't ask you to though..No matter how much I want to. Don't think it'll do any good."

"If you asked, with the way you're hugging me right now, there's a high chance I would return quickly."

She giggled as she began to stroke his head. "I won't. Seems like this journey of yours, is doing you good...Just try to keep me updated for now on..I worry about you."

 He looked up at her a somewhat pleased look in his eye. "I can do that."

"Thank you, Biscuit."

Connie very reluctantly removed herself from Steven hold, but still held on to his hands.

"Truly, thank you, for visiting tonight. Seeing that you're doing well..That you're safe...How handsome you've become. I couldn't ask for anything more..It's the best gift I could have received. You officially made this my best birthday."

Steven blushed a bit teary eyed." Aw, shucks Ni'...That's sweet of you, but I didn't just come visit you empty handed...You don't have to get up early right?"

"Nooo. Why?"

Steven smirked as he pointed to the west. Connie looked towards where he was pointing and realized a few things. 

One, they were on a hill.

Two, there was an outdoor stage below them.

Three, There was one seat, a throne actually,  facing the stage...that had her name on it.

Connie arched an eyebrow as she turned towards her Biscuit.

"You throwing me a concert?"

Steven lifted her up in a cradle, catching  her pleasantly of guard.

"I'm throwing you a concert."

Connie yelped and laughed as Steven leaped from their hill and glided down towards the concert area. He landed gently and placed her on her feet, when they realized, he was taller than ker by a quarter head. Dual flame cheeks appeared in their faces.

"Oh, wow..Gotta tilt up a bit to meet your eyes."

"Yeah..You do.."

The two stared for a moment before chuckling. He guided her into her seat giving her hand a small kiss before jumping onto the stage himself.  With a snap of his fingers duplicates of him appeared each with a different instrument; A bass, a guitar, a drum set and a keyboard. With a flick of the wrist, a mic appeared in his hand. He gave his band a nod before they started playing an upbeat, high energy tune. 

Steven took a deep breath before he let use a husky deeper crisper voice than she ever heard as he sang a rendition of 'Gold'.

  Dream of anything;

I'll make it all come true

Everything you need

Is all I'll have for you

I'm forever

Always by your side

Whenever you need a friend

I'm never far behind

  Connie couldn't help the excitement running through her spine,or the swelling of her heart as he performed. It had been too long since she saw her Steven, this energetic, this happy and free. Not to mention his voice now shook her in all the right ways. She always thought his singing voice was sweet to listen to and was one of the things she always found attractive..but now she found herself parched from listening. 

Steven put on a show indeed. From upbeat songs like 'Gold' To slower ones like 'Fly me to the moon' he made sure that she never left his sight more than needed. Every verse, chorus, melody and bridge was dedicated to her alone, and he wanted to convey that. He wanted her to realize that she was still in his heart. All in all the concert was a hit.

It was after two hours on stage that Steven stepped off the stage mic abandoned. A bit sweaty, a bit haggard, but accomplished. Connie shivered at his appearance, a very good one. 

The band started to play a memorable tune, one that made Connie teared up, smiling as she did.

"Steven, really."

Steven nodded, giving her a smile. Holding his hand out to her, which she gladly took. The two began swaying gently to the beat as Steven began to sing

  " The stars are out, 

the band's on the scene

I'm here with my sweet Connie

Come on and share this dream with me"

  Connie didn't miss a beat as she began to sing her head meeting Stevens chest, as she interlock her hand with Steven's.

  "in space, on land or the deep sea,

anyway place is fine, if it's you and me

Come on and share this dream with me."

  Steven cheeks were turned pink at the silky soft tone coming from his Berry as she continued to sing.

  "I won't stop till it's done, a dream crafted with all the joy, we can think ooo~oof."

  Steven gave her a cheeky grin before twirling  her away a bit, still holding on to her hand.

  " I'll keep it fun, fueling this dream with our love!"

He twirled her back to him, she laughed throughout the whole thing, as she found  herself caught in a hug. She eagerly returned it as their voices harmonized.

  " Our hearts and minds, in harmonious unity 

don't matter the scene, as long as you're with me

Now and forever, share this dream with me."

  The two reunited jam buds gazed at each other, matching smiles on their faces. The band was gone, this was the last song. Steven stroked her  hair as she snuggled deeper into him, gripping his back.

"Need to get back to my head"

"I know. I won't stop you, but can I ask for  one thing."

Steven looked down and nodded "Whatever  you need Birthday Berry."

"Dip down"

Steven did as she requested and was surprised when she covered his eyes and felt her kiss his lips. Not so much that he didn't kiss her back.  Connie's hand went from his eyes to his cheek as the kiss deepened and tears fell from both of them. They broke the kiss chuckling as they stroked each other's tears away.

"I don't want to leave you again."

"I know, I know..but I'll keep you updated.. when I can. We'll do this again. I promise. "

"I'm gonna hold you to that.You promise to keep me updated..so please text me or something when you get the chance."

Steven nodded as he gave one more chaste kiss. It was the last thing she felt before she woke up.

Connie woke up with a groan as her cell phone alarm rang at six a.m.

"The hell..it's early on a Saturday."  She turned off the phone alarm as she laid back thinking about her dream .Smiling at the memory  of her dream before shaking her head, ready to write it off as just that. When she got a message on her phone.

Opening her phone, her heartbeat speed up as she started to laugh through tears.

Hope you have a good one today, Dream Jam bud. Next time, I'll tell you about my travels and I can't say when but...I will return to you guys, one day. I love you, Dream berry.

From  ID: Biscuit.

Connie hugged the phone close to her heart. It was all real..Everything actually happened. 

What a perfect way to ring in being 19 years old.

[divineluce]

Will-o-the-Oh Shit|| Morgan & Luce

Location: The woods outside of White Crest

Notes: Occurs Wednesday, April 1st (Before this Winston & Luce Chatzy)

Keeping an eye on the compass that she’d brought along with her, Luce followed the bright lights that danced just out of reach through the darkness. Even though this whole endless night thing sucked balls, at least it meant more of these elusive little creatures were out, trying to lure unsuspecting people out into the woods. Ever since she was a little girl, she’d always been interested in the will-o-the-wisps that lurked around the woods of White Crest. There was something fascinating about them, a being of pure flame and light? It’d be a neat addition to her room, to have a bottled flame creature. She’d put it up on a shelf, right above Iggy’s terrarium. She had it all planned out. Her backpack had a couple of jam jars that she’d etched wards of holding onto the lids, and one of her short swords was resting on her hip. Shining her flashlight on the forest floor, she picked her way carefully through the woods, one of the balls of light growing ever tantalizingly closer. Until she realized… that this ball of light wasn’t a will-o-the-wisp at all. It was a person’s flashlight. “Hey. What are you doing out here?” She called out, irritated that her chase had been thrown off. “It’s not safe.”

With no curse magic to work and her research back in the search and read forever stages, Morgan was spending her idle time stocking up on essentials for her shop. She was still running on fumes from transforming the earth around the house, but she had a lot of orders to fill, even with the medical emergency notice she’d put on the shop banner. And at least her minor transmutation conjurings weren’t exhaustive. So long as she only kept to a few a day. She had already gathered more sand, but forest earth had a few key components that would make her work a lot easier. Morgan trucked carefully along, mindful of her just healing knee, scooping up a few more handfuls and stuffing the jar in her bag. It was all well and good until she heard a stranger’s voice. Morgan froze. I didn’t sound like an ‘I’m going to eat you’ voice, but Miriam hadn’t sounded like that until the very end either. Morgan considered shutting off her flashlight, but that made as much sense as saying “Nobody’s home!” to a knock on the door. Slowly, she raised it in the direction of the speaker. “Hello--?” She ventured feebly. “I could ask the same thing about you. It’s pretty dangerous, out in the dark. People get hurt this way.” ‘People’ included her, but Morgan could only process one issue at a time.

Shifting so her sword was hiding by her long jacket, Luce stepped closer, into the light of the person’s flashlight. “Uh huh, well that makes both of us idiots then.” She said, squinting through the harsh white light. “Can you point that somewhere else?” Luce asked, pointing her own flashlight at the dirt. She really, really didn’t want to be stuck standing around here, not when the will-o-the-wisps were out tonight in full force. This was going to be her lucky night, she could feel it. Iggy was going to get a little sibling and she was going to have the cutest, wickedest little night light in her room. It was going to be great. “Look, I’ve got places to be, but you should head back home. Lotta weird shit going on out here.” She said to the woman holding the light. 

There was something familiar about the young woman in front of her. Morgan had never heard her voice before, but there was something in the tone that reminded her of Nell. Maybe stubbornness had a sound. Morgan angled her light away from the girl’s face and stepped a little closer. “And what about you?” She asked. “I could say the same thing. For all I know, you’re going to fall down a well like Timmy. Do you at least have any protection against the night critters?”

Listening to the other woman’s reply, Luce glanced back into the woods, her eyes still trained on the tantalizing orbs of light that were floating further and further off into the distance. Shifting her backpack, the jam jars in her bag clinked together noisily and she let out a long sigh. “I’m looking for something. And you scared it away. Or, you confused me. Either way, I’m gonna go.” She said, fully ready to walk away from the conversation. But, the mention of protection made her stop for a moment. Weird phrasing. “I’ve got this, I think I’ll be fine.” She said, shifting to flash the sword on her belt in the light. “Why are you even out here anyways?”

Oh, gosh, that was a scary looking sword. Morgan couldn’t help but jump back a little. It was definitely not the kind of thing a Timmy who fell down a well would do. So the girl, whoever she was, could hold her own. Still, Morgan didn’t feel ready to leave yet. “I’m sorry,” she said, a little defensively. “It’s not like I can wait to do anything until sunup right now. I had my own woodsy errands to run. You can find a lot of good things out here. But what are you looking for? Maybe I can help? It would make up for making you lose your spot or whatever.”

“Fair enough. And no, you can’t help.” Luce said, shifting her bag on her shoulder. She’d gone out here to find a will-o-the-wisp, not to babysit some random lady in the middle of the woods. And she certainly wasn’t going to turn back now. It had been ages since she’d seen a cluster of the little living lights and there was no knowing when this endless night stuff would let up. She might as well try and catch them while there was still the opportunity. As she turned to walk deeper into the woods, something slipped out of her bag and fell into the dirt, rolling towards the other woman’s feet. Turning, Luce’s lips tightened as she realized one of her jam jars had fallen out of her bag. “Toss that back, will you?”

Morgan picked up the jar and examined it under the flashlight on her phone. It was just a glass jar, save for the markings etched into the lid. Morgan held it better to the light, she recognized some of them from her mother’s things. A binding ward. Morgan held onto it and approached the woman carefully. “I don’t guess this is for blackberries,” she said wryly, handing it out to her. The sleeve on her sweater had bunched up, and as she handed it off, she revealed a shiny glint of her transmutation cuff. “Sure you don’t need a hand with what you’re looking for?”

As the woman approached, Luce’s eyes narrowed in the dim light, her hand resting on her belt. But, when she handed it back to her, the cuff on her arm shone in the light. A transmutation cuff-- the new coven member. Ah fuck. What was her name again? Mallory? Melody? Mo-- “Hm. Imagine meeting you out here, Morgan. I’m Luce. Vural.” She said, taking the jar from the woman with a nod. Glancing back over her shoulder, Luce mulled over her options. Honestly, she didn’t really want the help. But, it couldn’t hurt to have another spellcaster on hand. And it’d probably be good to learn about the latest addition to the coven. “Suit yourself. I’m tracking some will-o-the-wisps.” She said, tilting her head deeper into the woods before resuming her brisk walk. “So. Why are you out here?”

“Luce!” Morgan gasped with relief. “Oh, stars, Luce Vural! I--you know, I thought there was something familiar about you, I just couldn’t get my finger on it, but this is good!” Morgan brightened up in the dark, smiling wide. “I owe you more than brownies anyway, right?” She began to walk with her, hustling a little to keep up on her short legs. “Will o’ the wisps! I didn’t know they had casting properties. What are you hoping to get from them? Oh, me, I was just restocking on alchemy supplies. The more minerals in the samples, the easier it can be to transmute.”

Ah fuck. As Luce listened to the other woman begin to chatter away, a sinking feeling filled her stomach. She should have just left her in the woods. Should have just taken the online rambling at its word and just fucked off into the woods. “Mm. I get that a lot.” She said, a touch irritated. Everyone always said she reminded them of Nell or Bea or even her fucking mother. Walking through the brush, she kept her eyes focused on the faint glowing balls of light. Her compass was still showing her true North and keeping her on track, but the chatter was making it difficult for her to navigate. “They’re not for casting.” She grunted, “Mm. Fun. Dirt.” Alchemy had never been something that interested her, mostly for that reason. It was all about minerals and rocks and dirt. Great to hike around, less great to stick your hands in and transmute. 

“Well, you are family, aren’t you?” Morgan tried. She sensed something hiding under Luce’s agreement, but she couldn’t for the life of her pinpoint what it was. She had ruffled more often than not when strangers pointed out a resemblance between her and her mother, but only because the similarities were skin deep, by her reckoning, and she hated to imagine her mother’s disappointment at knowing it too. But the Vurals were sisters, vibrant and connected even with their own differing lives and personalities. There was something essential and bright that connected them, and they were all so accomplished. They belonged, together and apart. Morgan had been so lonely for so much of her life, it didn’t occur to her that there might be a reason for a sister to want to be visible in a different way. “It’s dirt now,” Morgan admitted, “But tomorrow it’ll be glittering silicon dioxide, calcium fluoride, silver, gold, steel. I haven’t forgotten about your knife, by the way, I’m just waiting to be more juiced up before I try it. But I have some pictures on my phone of what I was thinking? But later, obviously. Of course.” In her rush to get to know Luce, to seal herself against the last dangling Vural thread in the hopes that she’d get to hang onto them for more than a few weeks, she had already forgotten that they were on a stealth quest. She flushed, smiling sheepishly, and asked more quietly, “So, what do you want the wisps, if not for casting?”

“Sure we are.” Luce said noncommittally. It was always like this, it had always been this way. People comparing her and Bea, wondering why she wasn’t a cheerleader like her, why she wasn’t involved at Illusions of Grandeur, pestering her to be more like her. And even with Nell, she was the trouble maker, the chaotic one, known for her wild antics-- people always expected her to be… like them. As the woman prattled on about the random shit the dirt could be turned into, Luce continued through the woods, picking up the pace in a vain attempt to try and ditch her. Just a “Oh no… sorry, I thought you could keep up” situation that she could easily brush off. At Morgan’s words, Luce’s eyebrows creased together. “What, are you running on empty?” Luce asked. Why would she be out here, in the dark, with no weapons, on empty? At her question, she shrugged. “Just to have around.”

“What? No! No, I’m not totally empty, I wouldn’t be out in the dark on empty!” Morgan said, maybe too quickly. She had enough, she thought, to flex one of her jars at a critter if one came her way. She could probably turn the dirt to brick or stone, but that might be pushing her limit. As long as she got herself home in one piece, what did it matter, really? “But I did recently bury that haunted house, I told you about? And dispersing earth into air to make a hole like that—the house was collapsing around us, I should say, it was all very adrenaline rush-y—the energy was a lot. Even with the extra crisis boost from the universe, it was a lot.” More so than she was currently admitting. She had been sick to her stomach for two days since the exertion. She hasn’t even bothered trying to float a napkin or transmute a single pebble. “So I’m being extra careful, that’s all.” She hustled a little more on her short legs. “So, this wisp business, is that really top secret?”

“Uh huh.” Luce said skeptically as she stepped over a tree branch. Squinting in the darkness, she turned on her heel and began walking in a new direction, the dancing orbs glowing ever brighter. She just wanted a new fucking pet and that hadn’t applied to Morgan. She didn’t want to babysit the new witch in the coven. “Hm. Shit. That’s a lot.” She remarked. Not that she was downplaying what the other woman had done-- it was impressive. But, that was all the more reason for her to not be out here. She should be at home, drinking tea or whatever hippie-dippie stuff Morgan seemed to be into. “Fine. If you’re going to be here, just stay out of my way.” She said. Luce was antsy and her magic was too. It had been a long time since their last storm and while she didn’t mind her meditations, manipulating the flames of a few candles weren’t going to grow her power. “It’s not top secret. I just want to have one around.” She said before reluctantly adding, “I have a salamander, Iggy. A Wisp would make a good friend for him.”

“Definitely a little more than an average day’s work,” Morgan admitted, more quietly. “But I’ve been taking care of myself as best I can. And it’s been a little while since then.” Not necessarily enough, but still. Morgan gave her aching legs the benefit of lagging behind a little. Luce seemed hell-bent on being on her own, and she began to wonder if going their separate ways would have been the key to get the last Vural to like her after all. Morgan looked behind her for a second to consider turning back but--which way had they come from again? The wisps behind them had moved, or vanished. It didn’t look right at all. Morgan scurried back up, gritting her teeth against the strain on her leg. “Iggy?” She said. “That’s a great name. Is he your familiar? It sounds like he’s a pretty special lizard.”

“Well, you know yourself better than anyone else.” Luce said, flippantly. She didn’t really care much about what Morgan’s situation was, she was just here to try and catch a Wisp. As they continued through the forest, Luce made a pained expression at the continued questions. “Yeah. My familiar. He’s a good dude.” She said before pausing to check her compass. North was still where she thought it was, which was good. At least they weren’t getting too-- something shifted underneath her feet. It wasn’t as though she’d just stepped on a loose rock, it was almost as though the ground was moving on its own. Frowning, Luce gestured for Morgan to stop where she was. “Do you feel that?” She asked, her hand going for the sword on her hip. Before she could draw it, the dirt around them exploded and a giant fucking spider erupted from the earth and leaped towards her.

“Aww. I have a cat, Anya. She’s, by all species metrics, normal, but she’s the actual best. I mean, she asks to be walked, and let out on hunts, she’s the smartest--” Morgan stopped when Luce gestured to stop. She didn’t hear anything, but she felt the ground tremble under her feet. That...wasn’t what ground was supposed to do. “Luce--” She reached for the girl, ready to pull her back if need be. The ground was taking shape, had sprouted legs! “Oh, shit!” She yanked on Luce, pulling them out of immediate reach and back into a tree, partially covered by underbrush. “Run!” She said. Her own muscles were burning to do the same, but the spider looked fast. “I’ll be there, just--!” She just needed a minute to think of something to do. Give them a chance. 

If Morgan had just let her stand her ground, Luce would have been able to draw her sword. She would have been able to launch a fireball at the shitty fucking spider that was jumping at her. But, instead, she’d grabbed her and dragged her into the scrub. “What the fuck are you doing?” Luce growled, yanking her arm out of reach. “I’m not running anywhere.” Standing her ground, she drew her sword from her belt and immediately slashed out, hoping to cut its legs out from underneath it. Instead of cutting neatly through the spinny legs, her sword bounced harmlessly off, the impact reverberating up her arm. The spider pivoted, its pincers clicking ominously before it attempted to stab at her with its front legs. Batting the limbs away, Luce glanced over at Morgan, “What you doing over there, new girl?” 

Morgan was cowering in the brush, inching further and further away on her hands and knees while her mind raced for an answer. She didn’t like how indestructible that spider looked, or how it dragged the earth in its wake, as if it was one with it. Shit, shit, shit. They needed to get out of here, fast. But it moved too well over the ground… And then Morgan had it. She flung herself out, dropping between Luce and the spider. She opened herself. She pushed. The ground around her went soft and thick with mud and sludge. The worst and stickiest parts of the bayous and bogs she had grown up near were now puddled around her. The spider fumbled on its legs, clicking and hissing in a frenzy. “How’s that for something?” She said. She struggled to her feet, ready to run, and it was then she realised her mistake. The sludge was pulling on her limbs too, and she had a lot fewer to balance on. “Uh, Lu--!” Her words died in a yelp as something pierced through her back.

The second Morgan jumped between her and the weird fucked up earth spider, Luce knew it was going to end badly. Hadn’t the woman just said she’d encased a house in earth? What the fuck did she think she was going to accomplish by doing this? But, she couldn’t stop her-- transmutation wasn’t something she’d ever bothered to learn and her fire wouldn’t help unless she wanted to recreate the Salem Witch trials with Morgan. The ground around the spider, around the other witch turned to thick mud. Feeling her hiking boots begin to get sucked into the sludge, Luce hurriedly backed away. But, she watched in growing dismay as Morgan began to realize what she’d done. “Fuck.” Grimacing, Luce took a good look at the spider before igniting a small flame in the palm of her hand, no bigger than a candle flame. Tossing the flame forward, she nestled it on the wet and mucky ground underneath the spider’s belly. “Cover your head.” She said before pouring her power into fire. The tiny flickering light roared to life, a thick column of flame igniting and knocking the spider off its legs. With a wave of her hand, the flames dissipated, leaving the spider clicking angrily, limbs flailing as it’s heavy body sank into the mud. “Get up, c’mon, get up.” She said, reaching out to drag Morgan out of the sludge. 

Morgan didn’t need to cover her head. She had about a second of staring at Luce, trying to make the words for, ‘Fuck doesn’t begin to cover it,’ come out of her mouth before she was back on the ground, her face half caked in mud, unable to move. She groaned pitifully. There wasn’t any point in trying to get up, her legs, or what she could feel of them, were as good as dead weight. “...Love...to. But…” But there was a much better chance of the sun coming out to say ‘boo!’ at this point than her legs cooperating in a timely manner. Morgan tried, pulling on her nerves with what wrung out strength she had left. Not even a twitch. Whatever the spider had zapped her with, it worked good and fast. She groaned again and looked up at Luce, giving her a look she hoped could be understood as ‘So sorry. Please help.’

Luce watched the spider with a wary eye, but the sludge seemed to be enveloping it, pulling it down deeper into the earth. Which suited her just fine. No need for her to get her sword fucked up, or use more of her magic. But… Glancing down at Morgan, she pulled a face. Had she just totally tapped herself out? But, when the woman’s body went limp in the mud, Luce realized that this was more than just exhaustion-- her eyes were staring at her piteously, very much alert. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Inching as close to the sludge as she dared, Luce grabbed Morgan by her shoulders and dragged her out of the mud. The back of her shirt was ripped, puncture wound evident. “Shit…” Luce said with a shake of her head. Whatever the spider had done to her was sticking around. “We’ve gotta get out of here. Which means,” She squeezed her eyes shut, irritated, “I’ve gotta haul you out.” Sliding her backpack around so it was on her front, Luce maneuvered Morgan’s limp body until she was clumsily piggy-backing her. As she began to walk through the woods, covered in mud and weighed down by the other witch, Luce let out an exasperated sigh. This was going to be a long walk back.

Morgan flushed as she was carried away, a little embarrassed at being lugged like a child. The walk seemed to take twice as long as before, and what few stars she could see through the trees seemed indifferent or laughing, depending on the angle. When they emerged at last, Morgan tested her mobility. She could feel something like pins and needles in her feet. Not walking yet, but not as completely helpless as she was before. She fidgited her foot against Luce’s side. “I’m sorry about your wisp,” she said. “That Iggy won’t get his friend. I’m guessing I owe you a lot more than a fancy knife at this point.”

The walk in the dark was slow-going and tiring as hell. It was a good thing she hadn’t used too much of her energy flipping the spider, otherwise Luce would probably be lying back in the mud with Morgan and the shitty monster. Instead, she was trekking through the woods, looking like some muddy Quasimodo thing. As she exited the forest, sweat cutting through the dried layer of mud on her skin, she felt Morgan’s foot wiggle. Improvement. Here’s hoping whatever the spider had done to her was over. “Iggy will survive. He probably would have been jealous.” She muttered as she headed along the road that led back to where she’d parked her car. It was a damn good thing she’d decided to drive. “But, yeah, you do.” On the flip side, to a degree… she owed Morgan. Was the earth call a good one? No. But, it’d saved both their asses. “Thanks out there, with the mud stuff. Even if it also lowkey fucked us.”

Morgan beamed down, dangling her face clumsily toward Luce. “It low-key fucked me,” she clarified. “Which--was not something I planned for. Thanks for coming back for me. It would’ve really sucked to be stuck in the mud while all of this wore off.” It already sucked to be half caked in the stuff and carried around like a large child. “Once I get my fine motor functions back, I can start with some strawberry bread?” She offered. “Something sweet, doesn’t include me nervous talking, probably won’t threaten anyone’s life.”

Luce trudged to her car, digging her elbow into the pocket of her jeans clumsily. Her efforts were rewarded when she heard the car honk, the lights flashing once as the locks clicked. “I’d be more concerned if you had planned for it.” She said as she opened the backseat of her car and grimaced. She’d have to get the inside cleaned after this. Whatever. Luce gently eased Morgan off her back and set her down as carefully as she could into the back row of seats. Tossing her bag onto the floor next to the other witch, Luce hurried to the driver’s seat. The second she sank into the seat, all the exhaustion seeped into her bones. Yeah. She’d be feeling this for a bit. “Strawberry bread sounds like a start.”

[rika-kihira]

Countdown to the dream - Rika Kihira interview with Quadruple Axel

Q: Last season was your senior debut. You achieved a wonderful success. Personally, if you could give yourself a score how many points would you give?

R: I experienced a lot of good and bad things, I think it was a season where I developed my confidence, so about 70 points.

Q: What kind of aspect was not enough for the remaining 30 points?

R: At Japanese Nationals and Worlds I was unable to adjust my boots properly, so I could not perform the programs like I wanted to. But recently I managed to adjust my boots by myself.

Q: That is a big accomplishment. How are you able to grasp something like the feeling of sensitivity?

R: I have been told many times about "sensitivity", but for me it’s more like this kind of feeling “If I can’t jump then I can only switch them” *laughs* On the contrary “I'm not concerned about it”, it’s something that can't be understood. 

Q: So do you experience the same condition while wearing normal shoes?

R: Not at all. When it comes to normal shoes any kind of it would be fine *laughs*

Q: At Worlds, it must have been considerably hard to adjust your boots, right?

R: Yes, I ended up wearing different boots in SP and FP. I used new boots in the SP but they were ill-fitting for me; in the FP I skated using the old ones I usually wore up to that time.

Q: Looks like it would be better if it was a bit improved. This off-season, are there any kind of other activities you are spending your time on?

R: I performed at Stars on Ice, went to Colorado for choreography, I sort of trained every day without resting for even one day. Even though it was called "off-season" the way I am spending the time doesn't change from when I am in the middle of the season. Or more precisely, now I am training much longer than in the middle of the season.

Q: Right now what kind of training are you focusing on?

R: I am setting up the jumps properly for my SP and FP. And then training for 4S and 3A.

Q: And what’s your feeling about the 4S?

R: I think it it’s quite improved. In a sense, even if there was underrotation, I am able to jump it several times in a day. Even when I feel, physically, that in the jump “the rotations right now are off”, the times that I was told that "that one now is a clean jump" gradually increased.

Q: Do you plan to put in the 4S during the season?

R: That's the plan. Right now I am practicing in runthrough by jumping 3S but onwards, I want to successfully put the 4S in.

Q: Looking forward to it. This season's SP, Breakfast in Baghdad is really a great song to dance to.

R: Shae-Lynn presented several programs to me. I wondered if I could express something I have never tried before, and I chose it. The choreo was done efficiently, it is an upbeat and intense program, physically it is pretty exhausting *laughs*. But I think after skating it repeatedly I developed the energy along with it. From now on I want to train with the thought that I strive to do well no matter what song they gave me. 

Q: Looks like there is no time to even take a breather.

R: In previous programs, after I finished a spin there was a moment to take a breather like "huff", but in this SP after the spin ends transitions are inserted so it is a busy program *laughs*

Q: Is it difficult to get the jumps’ timing too?

R: It was really hard at the beginning, it took me about two months to get the timing successfully.

Q: Even the 3A?

R: This is something I realized recently, but, regarding 3A, the percentage of landing it is higher with uptempo songs. At the beginning, I thought “I can't do it, it's too pressing”, but on the contrary in the FP with a slow tempo song, more or less I experienced more difficulties. Before I jump, the longer I hold the set up, I lose control and it’s hard to maintain the axis. Maybe my timing is a bit fast, that's why I think faster tempo suits me more.

Q: It's the first time you collaborate with Shae-Lynn, what are you thoughts on the actual choreo process?

R: The choreo process took time, about 5 days, but it was hard unlike anything I have experienced before. I tried different patterns countless times and because it has many difficult movements I had muscle pain everywhere *laughs*. But she guided me intensely through the detailed parts, I really learned a lot.

Q: What is the reason you requested Shae-Lynn's choreo for this season?

R: I watched Wakaba-chan's (Higuchi) 007 Skyfall and Rika-chan's (Hongo) Kill Bill and thought “Ah, these choreographies are nice”. From the middle of the previous season I was thinking “I want to try it once”, “What happens now?”. As a result it became a new challenge for me, I think it's good that I made that decision. I felt that in those 5 days I got a lesson that changed my own skating.

Q: Since she is a teacher coming from Ice Dance, there are a lot of things that should be learned from her, aren’t there.

R: Really fascinating skills, she is a teacher who has high ideal skating standards. She showed me how to actually use my entire body to perform. I understand it well, it means that “I want to let out that kind of intensity”, it was really manageable.

Q: On the other hand, the FP 'International Angel of Peace' is choreographed by Tom Dickson, what kind of program is it?

R: The songs of several faiths from around the world are used. I am expressing an angel who unifies them, and the theme of the program is 'To Hope for World Peace'. I really like this, even though there are some difficulties, such as the fact that each scenery requires me to portray different movements and expressions.   Q: Turns out it is a program with a heavy theme, in what way was the choreo introduced to you?

R: I was told the tale numerous times, it was conveyed to me that I should view the theme of the program as an important one. The movements to express the anger against war are filled with the thoughts of a peaceful world. There is a meaning in each part of the choreo. I want to express it respectfully. Like in the beginning of Yuzuru Hanyu's Seimei, there is also the presence of Japan in the choreography, matching the arm movements to the sound of Shakuhachi (Japanese bamboo flute).

Q: So the expression also changes according to each song.

R: The means of expression (t/n: on and off ice) are respectively different. Even if you can move your hands and shoulders well on land, you must grasp the balance while doing it on the ice, I think it is really difficult. I want to fill up my training until I can do such moments in the season.

Q: Your programs match the music wonderfully. How do you feel about your own musicality?

R: There are a lot of people who are better than me *laughs*. As for me, like singing the song inside of my head, I think of the movements I want to do on some melody. Since I was young I am conscious of matching my movement with the music. If I was told “this movement for this melody” while getting the choreography, I want to be able to match that melody. Even if I am not told so, I think of “let's match this melody”.

Q: You really have good sensibility to music too. About the costumes, have you decided on both the SP and FP ones?

R: To match the up tempo movements in the SP I think bright colours would be good, so I prepared a red and a blue version. I think the design will give off a mature vibe.

Q: Is it a pants-style costume? 

R: No, it's a skirt. What I was wearing at FaOI was the EX Costume for "The Greatest". The SP costume is not finished yet, so I wore the black pants.

Q: Is that so. What kind of image does the FP costume have?

R: The designer just told me the imagery, the colour is light green with sparkles, it is tailored to match every scenery on that program.

Q: You performed at FaOI with Yuzuru Hanyu. Did you receive any influence from him?

R: There is the collaboration with ToshI. While ToshI was adjusting the music Hanyu-san was standing in the rink and doing some image-building. I can't perform on the actual day without checking practice numerous times. But Hanyu-san can build the image of the program inside his head; I want to learn that aspect gradually. I also want to learn from his ability to focus.

Q: Well then, you also have the ability to focus.

R: My problem lies with my sleep. If I don’t get enough sleep I lack the power to concentrate. It's like, by lacking sleep even the content of my program changes. I'm influenced by the quality of my sleep. The more I think of “I can't fail” “I definitely want to jump it”, I can't sleep well. I must do something for it. I think it would be nice if I can overcome this somehow.

Q: It has been decided that your GP assignments are Skate Canada and NHK Trophy this season. What kind of competition do you want to do?

R: During last season's GP Final in Canada I was able to get a good result and it left a good impression on me; at NHK Trophy there will be no time difference so I think it's nice and it's easy to adjust to. 

Q: What is your goal this season?

R: In any kind of competition, I want to get high scores in both SP and FP, I want this to be the season where I would be able to increase my personal best score. If I can compete at Worlds, I think it would be nice if I can stand on the podium.

Q: Kihira the athlete is aiming for the gold medal at Beijing Olympics. In this moment, do you have any concept, while imagining the things you are going to do?

R: No injuries until the Olympics. I think I want to challenge the Olympics while having a “leeway” in my mind. Taking the completed form (t/n: sort of like her final form) with me during these remaining two years. During the last season (before the Olympics), I think it would be nice if the state of my mind can be more like “a little bit, maybe I can water down the elements of the program” “competitions are fun”. For the sake of that, I think “from now on of how much training I could do, how much experience can I accumulate”. I don’t want to have such days where I feel relaxed like “maybe today I should take it slowly”, I think I want to go through this by staying completely focused.

Q: Are you going to stay on your guard?

R: Losing focus for a little bit leads to injuries. As long as I am skating, by staying focused I can spend my days by thinking of things like “I wonder how I should go through to perform the best program at a competition” I think I must compete with my own self. Q: About wanting to get into your “completed form” in the remaining two seasons, Are you going for the challenge of inserting 4T in next season?

R: I won't have any leeway in my mind if I could not jump two type of quads. The elements of the program will be more flexible and there will be more range of choices, like jumping one type of quad 2 times. I want to complete 4T too, but really I’m not too good at Toeloop, so looks like it would take some time. First I'd like to attempt it while re-evaluating my 3T.

Q: What's the difficulty of the 4T?

R: I can do the rotations, but the axis is off. I think if the axis is straight it can be executed well. There is no other way but to maintain the axis and training to get a higher rate of success. 

Q: Thank you. Lastly, please give your message to the fans.

R: Thank you very much for always giving me a lot of support. This season I'm going to challenge the 4S. Both in SP and FP I will also face a challenge I've never experienced before. I will do my best to have better results than in the previous seasons, and try to improve gradually for the Olympics.

[kimarchive]

“keep it moving” | lil’ kim by mtv news, 2003.

"I'm locked in a five-year contract with [Kim]," said Cease, who's signed as a solo artist to Queen Bee Records. Other than albums that Kim herself has recorded, Cease's poor-selling but critically acclaimed 1999 solo debut, The Wonderful World of Cease A Leo, is the only release to come from the Queen Bee Records imprint since it was founded in 1998.

-- by Shaheem Reid, with additional reporting by Sway Calloway, Jeff Cornell and Quddus Phillipe Kimberly Jones is dying to go Hollywood, but some people are hissing that she already has. She definitely isn't the same 'round-the-way girl the Notorious B.I.G. introduced us to in 1995. Little Ms. Jones has estranged herself from old ideals and friends from her 'hood that she once considered family. She's got a fresh attitude to go with her new set of Hollywood and high-society buddies and associates, people such as Hugh Hefner, Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra, Don King, Donatella Versace and Victoria Gotti.

Kimberly doesn't even look the same — she switches hairstyles almost as often as she changes rhyme flows. Plus she's got a new surgically altered nose to go with her voluptuous, augmented breasts. "When I decided to finally do that is when I realized I was a sex symbol," she has said about her implants. "It's something that I felt would make me have more fun with my photo shoots and enhance my look a little bit." But going Hollywood for Kim really means just that: She wants to make movies. Her dreams have nothing to do with forgetting where she came from, or — as they might say in her native Bedford Stuyvesant neighborhood — "acting brand new." Kim maintains she's the same Brooklyn girl at heart: feisty, focused and determined not to fail. Like Will Smith and, more recently, Queen Latifah, rap's Queen Bee wants to make it big in Tinsletown. Yeah, she's appeared in such flicks as "Juwanna Mann" (2002) and "Zoolander" (2001), but Kim knows she's capable of bigger roles and more explosive performances. "Being involved in different entities of the game is so much fun 'cause you don't just get stuck in one genre," she explained. "I like to be here and there. My personality and my character are versatile." But unlike the aforementioned rap legends, she still wants to keep the music industry buzzing about her material. "That's one thing I don't like," Kim said, referring to how some of her fellow MCs' music careers suffered as their movie careers took off. "Will [Smith] was doing it at one point. Regular rappers were trying to [sell] five million [albums] and he was doing seven million, with flicks out that were doing $50 million a week. That's the type of success I want to follow. I think what happens is that the rappers [who] have success in Hollywood kinda start ignoring their music. I don't think it matters to them anymore. I ain't gonna front, [if] you're getting $20 to 25 million a film ... even $10 million a film is enough to make you say, 'I don't have to do an album this year.' [But] I wouldn't do that." And that's no Hollywood talk, either. Kim not only has a movie called "Guns and Roses" due out this summer, she has a new LP, La Bella Mafia, in stores now. Named La Bella Mafia after a 1997 made-for-TV movie, "Bella Mafia," in which widows of mob figures take over the family business, this LP has been heralded as Kim's best work since her trailblazing 1996 solo debut, Hard Core. On Mafia, she runs away from the syrupy melodies and hooks that hampered 2000's Notorious K.I.M.'s "How Many Licks" and "I'm Human," which seemed to pander to radio and dancefloors. Kim's latest opus is a return to the streets, where she enlists such sound-shapers as the always-unpredictable Swizz Beatz, Scott Storch, who has co-produced some of Dr. Dre's classic jeep thumpers, and Mobb Deep's master of morose tracks, Havoc.

"She's a star, [and] people respect stars," said Havoc, who first worked with Kim on Mobb Deep's remix to "Quiet Storm." "She's smart, and most of the decisions she makes are good musically. She's among the top people in the game, and she's better than a lot of [guys]. You don't have a choice but to give her that respect." "I think she's on top of the game," concurred Queen Latifah, who recorded with Kim on the soundtrack for the Academy Award-winning film "Chicago." "I just bought her album the other day and I love it. I think it's [about] her growing up. She still ballsy, and she's still gonna pop junk to any other female rapper out there, but I like where she is right now. I like to see her in control of where she wants to go. I'm proud of her." And while Kim loves the praise she's received from her peers and fans, she feels things could still be a lot better. Although Mafia put her on pace to equal or surpass the numbers she posted with her biggest selling LP, the double platinum Hard Core (despite its lukewarm reception, Notorious K.I.M. still sold over a million copies as well), Kim wasn't pleased with La Bella Mafia's first-week sales of close to 167,000 copies. "A lot of people say 'Kim is up there,' " the Queen Bee lamented, "but I don't feel that I'm up there 'cause I haven't accomplished my goal yet, which is to sell 10 million records of one album. Imagine what people will say when I reach that point." One thing people do talk about is how long it takes Kim to churn out albums. There was a four-year gap between the first two records, and even with the widely heralded Trackmasters and the spirit of Mafia co-executive producer B.I.G. fueling this album's beats and rhymes, it took years to make as well.

"It's kind of hard because I like to take my time to make things perfect," Kim said, explaining why she always has such a long gap between projects. "I went into this album thinking, 'I'm just going to have fun with it.' I said, 'I'm going to do what I want to do. Let me do this the way I feel B.I.G would have wanted me to do this.' He's the one that taught me everything I know, and he tells me things still. That's why B.I.G is listed as the co-executive producer on my album. It's just me and him." What also slows down production is the fact that you just can't keep the black Erica Kane locked in the studio for too long. She's got her manicured hands dipped in far too many projects to be getting stuck in a sound booth all night. For one thing, she's got a new clothing line, Hollyhood, still in development, with a launch tentatively planned for the fall. A true fashion aficionado, Kim's wild outfits, trend-setting hairdos and modeling stints for Mac and Candies and have given her a strong presence in the fashion world. Hobnobbing with clothing kingpins with last names like Prada, Versace and Armani have only strengthened her cause. "When she did 'Guns and Roses,' she was on the mark," LisaRaye said of Kim's spin as Chastity, the vixen of the bunch. In addition to the movie, the two worked together on a song for the film's soundtrack. "We filmed that movie in 18 days, so you know how quick and steady the flow was," she continued. "She was actually excellent." "It was fun," Kim said with a grin. "It's like a female 'Young Guns.' Us five females, we're like sisters. When we all got together it was nothing but love. For the most part, we were all sisters on that set — we all had each other's back. I like to surround myself with good people — positive people committed to their work." 

And make no mistake — if you're not committed to Kim, you can't be down. At her album release party a few weeks ago, celebrities such as Dave Chappelle, Mobb Deep, Jagged Edge and Wayne Wonder came out to one of Manhattan's newest hot spots, the Lobby, all ready to hail the Queen. Conspicuously absent were Kim's longtime running mates, Lil' Cease and the rest of the Junior M.A.F.I.A. Kim and the J.M., all friends and protégés of Biggie's, had been virtually inseparable since they were introduced back in 1995. The originally nine-member crew appeared on classic songs together, put out a gold album and performed at countless shows nationwide. When B.I.G. died, they leaned on each other during their collective time of mourning, and his memory was the glue that held them all together. And the bond was deep. When Kim went solo, she looked out for her boys as their careers stagnated. If they needed money, she hit them off. If one of her guys got in trouble with the law, as Larceny and Cease were known to do on a few occasions, Kim, the perennial mother figure, always bailed them out. At one point, the clique was so close that they all lived together in Kim's New Jersey mansion. But since then, the group's relationship has soured, and the Queen Bee has had to literally clean house. "Well, you have to move on and you have to grow," Kim said, visibly holding back venom and opting to give a more politically correct answer as to why she no longer associates with Cease and Co. "You can't be taken advantage of for too long, and it's a case where unfortunately, [the relationship] just went bad. In the same sense, I hope they do well and [that] they can find God in their hearts." On La Bella Mafia's "Heavenly Father," however, Kim's a little less restrained. She raps, "And was it enough that I split 20 percent of what I make?/ Was it enough that I cut n----s half of what I bake?" 

Lil' Cease is just as angry with Kim these days as she is with him. His biggest beef with her is not that she cut him off — it's that she won't let him go. He's so miffed at his onetime homegirl that he's started a "Free Cease A Leo" T-shirt campaign.

"I'm locked in a five-year contract with [Kim]," said Cease, who's signed as a solo artist to Queen Bee Records. Other than albums that Kim herself has recorded, Cease's poor-selling but critically acclaimed 1999 solo debut, The Wonderful World of Cease A Leo, is the only release to come from the Queen Bee Records imprint since it was founded in 1998.

"She's putting all this stuff out like she's not messing with me right now," Biggie's puffy-cheeked former best friend fumed. "I feel like if you [are] not messing with me, give me walking papers so I can do me. We had our differences [and] I thought we could patch them up, but honey is doing her thing. I'm not knocking her, but she still got me under paperwork. [I've] been trying to get in touch with her, [but] she's ducking me. I call the office, [but] she don't want to talk to me. I go to the office [and] I can't see her."

"There's a lot of truth to what Cease was saying," Kim retorted with a snarl before clamming up. "I don't really want to get into that. The only thing I'm concerned with is La Bella Mafia being in stores. The whole truth will come out later and I can't wait." Although Kim is being clandestine and won't say exactly when her and the Mafia started to fall out, she is more than willing to reveal when her relationship with her former manager, mentor, friend and Notorious K.I.M.'s executive producer P. Diddy went south. "I can honestly say that during the whole process of [making Notorious K.I.M.], Puff and I were like a brother and a sister arguing," said the 26-year-old. "One minute we'd be the best of friends, and then the next minute things weren't working out at all," Kim said. "Sometimes Puffy likes people to do whatever he says. I'm a creative person, an entertainer. I'm a boss lady. A lot of times when you [are] working with a boss man, you have to respect each other's opinion. I just wanted my respect and because I was young and female, I don't think he gave it to me fully." "I'm a hard coach from beginning to end," Diddy said unapologetically about his meticulous work ethic. "I'mma push an artist to [be] the best. Some artists feel [like], 'I've grown up, and I don't want you to push me this hard no more.' I can't really do that. I'm not crazy or anything, I just want to be the best. We gotta be the best every time." Kim said she was also hurt because when times got tough for her after Notorious K.I.M. received mixed reactions, Diddy abandoned her. "I loved Puffy with all my heart, [and] if you look back, I was the only one supporting him. [At the time we were making my album] I wasn't even signed to Bad Boy," she vented. "During those times I held his hands, like, 'I know these people hate you right now, but I'm with you, dawg.' Puffy can be very selfish. I had to let him go do him and I had to go do me. I needed people at that time that was going to support me 150 percent. I was only getting 50 percent. Unfortunately, I don't speak to him at all."

P. Diddy, who seems indifferent about the split, offers a simpler explanation: "I think it's [about] people outgrowing each other and people wanting different things." While Kim hasn't cut off all her old friends, she has been gravitating toward a new crowd on the road to becoming a better-rounded person. One of her biggest cheerleaders now is Victoria Gotti, a multimedia personality and the daughter of late mob boss John Gotti. The two met over a year ago at an event in New Jersey and have built a nurturing relationship. They've done their share of partying and have at least one big adventure in common: The line-slinging siren recently held her buddy to a long-standing promise to appear in one of her videos. In February, the pair braved the bitter cold to shoot the unreleased clip for Kim's song "I Came Back For You" in front of the Brooklyn Bridge. Gotti says she'd do anything for her homie. "It's weird because she's everything she is onstage and nothing like her [persona]," Gotti said, describing why such a diverse group of people show Kim love. "She is a chameleon. She can just rise to [any] occasion and fit whatever mood everybody's in. That's the one thing I adore about Kim, [and] that's the first thing that shines through. Forget her looks, forget her outrageous outfits — she's got personality that's second to none." And what Kim's hoping for is that soon, her success in all fields will be second to none. Even as her fan base broadens, she maintains that she'll never forget the gig that first put her on to all the other opportunities. In fact, she is as hungry as ever to stand out and rock the mic.  "I don't ever worry about competition," she says confidently in regards to her fellow female rappers. "I do a totally different thing from all these females. Everybody feels that 'I have to be at the top.' We can all be at the top selling records. There is no 'I'm better.' I know I'm a Queen and I do what I do.' "

    And what she is doing is everything.

[blackkudos]

Aretha Franklin

Aretha Louise Franklin (March 25, 1942 – August 16, 2018) was an American singer, songwriter, pianist, and civil rights activist. Franklin began her career as a child singing gospel at New Bethel Baptist Church in Detroit, Michigan, where her father C. L. Franklin was minister. At the age of 18, she embarked on a secular-music career as a recording artist for Columbia Records. While Franklin's career did not immediately flourish, she found acclaim and commercial success after signing with Atlantic Records in 1966. Hit songs such as "Respect", "Chain of Fools", "Think", "(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman", "I Never Loved a Man (The Way I Love You)", and "I Say a Little Prayer", propelled her past her musical peers. By the end of the 1960s, Aretha Franklin had come to be known as "The Queen of Soul".

Franklin continued to record acclaimed albums such as I Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You (1967), Lady Soul (1968), Spirit in the Dark (1970), Young, Gifted and Black (1972), Amazing Grace (1972), and Sparkle (1976) before experiencing problems with her record company. Franklin left Atlantic in 1979 and signed with Arista Records. She appeared in the 1980 film The Blues Brothers before releasing the successful albums Jump to It (1982), Who's Zoomin' Who? (1985), and Aretha (1986) on the Arista label. In 1998, Franklin returned to the Top 40 with the Lauryn Hill-produced song "A Rose Is Still a Rose"; later, she released an album of the same name which was certified gold. That same year, Franklin earned international acclaim for her performance of "Nessun dorma" at the Grammy Awards; she filled in at the last minute for Luciano Pavarotti, who canceled his appearance after the show had already begun. In a widely noted performance, she paid tribute to 2015 honoree Carole King by singing "(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman" at the Kennedy Center Honors.

Franklin recorded 112 charted singles on Billboard, including 77 Hot 100 entries, 17 top-ten pop singles, 100 R&B entries, and 20 number-one R&B singles. She is the most charted female artist in history. Franklin's well-known hits include "Rock Steady", "Call Me", "Ain't No Way", "Don't Play That Song (You Lied)", "Spanish Harlem", "Day Dreaming", "Until You Come Back to Me (That's What I'm Gonna Do)", "Something He Can Feel", "Jump to It", "Freeway of Love", "Who's Zoomin' Who", and "I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)" (a duet with George Michael). She won 18 Grammy Awards, including the first eight awards given for Best Female R&B Vocal Performance (1968–1975). Franklin is one of the best-selling music artists of all time, having sold more than 75 million records worldwide.

Franklin received numerous honors throughout her career. She was awarded the National Medal of Arts and the Presidential Medal of Freedom. In 1987, she became the first female performer to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. She also was inducted into the UK Music Hall of Fame in 2005 and into the Gospel Music Hall of Fame in 2012. In 2010, Rolling Stone magazine ranked her number one on its list of the "100 Greatest Singers of All Time" and number nine on its list of "100 Greatest Artists of All Time". The Pulitzer Prize jury in 2019 awarded Franklin a posthumous special citation "for her indelible contribution to American music and culture for more than five decades."

Early life

Aretha Louise Franklin was born on March 25, 1942, to Barbara (née Siggers) and Clarence LaVaughn "C. L." Franklin. She was delivered at her family's home located at 406 Lucy Avenue, Memphis, Tennessee. Her father was a Baptist minister and circuit preacher originally from Shelby, Mississippi, while her mother was an accomplished piano player and vocalist. Both Mr. and Mrs. Franklin had children from prior relationships in addition to the four children they had together. When Aretha was two, the family relocated to Buffalo, New York. By the time Aretha turned five, C. L. Franklin had permanently relocated the family to Detroit, where he took over the pastorship of the New Bethel Baptist Church.

The Franklins had a troubled marriage due to Mr. Franklin's infidelities, and they separated in 1948. At that time, Barbara Franklin returned to Buffalo with Aretha's half brother, Vaughn. After the separation, Aretha recalled seeing her mother in Buffalo during the summer, and Barbara Franklin frequently visited her children in Detroit. Aretha's mother died of a heart attack on March 7, 1952, before Aretha's tenth birthday. Several women, including Aretha's grandmother, Rachel, and Mahalia Jackson, took turns helping with the children at the Franklin home. During this time, Aretha learned how to play piano by ear. She also attended public school in Detroit, going through her freshman year at Northern High School, but dropping out during her sophomore year.

Aretha's father's emotionally driven sermons resulted in his being known as the man with the "million-dollar voice". He earned thousands of dollars for sermons in various churches across the country. His celebrity status led to his home being visited by various celebrities. Among the visitors were gospel musicians Clara Ward, James Cleveland, and early Caravans members Albertina Walker and Inez Andrews. Martin Luther King Jr., Jackie Wilson and Sam Cooke all became friends of C. L. Franklin, as well. Ward was romantically involved with Aretha's father from around 1949 to Ward's death in 1973, though Aretha "preferred to view them strictly as friends". Ward also served as a role model to the young Aretha.

Music career

Beginnings (1952–1960)

Just after her mother's death, Franklin began singing solos at New Bethel, debuting with the hymn "Jesus, Be a Fence Around Me". When Franklin was 12, her father began managing her; he would bring her on the road with him during his so-called "gospel caravan" tours for her to perform in various churches. He also helped her sign her first recording deal with J.V.B. Records. Recording equipment was installed inside New Bethel Baptist Church and nine tracks were recorded. Franklin was featured on vocals and piano. In 1956, J.V.B. released Franklin's first single, "Never Grow Old", backed with "You Grow Closer". "Precious Lord (Part One)" backed with "Precious Lord (Part Two)" followed in 1959. These four tracks, with the addition of "There Is a Fountain Filled with Blood", were released on side one of the 1956 album, Spirituals. This was reissued by Battle Records in 1962 under the same title. In 1965, Checker Records released Songs of Faith, featuring the five tracks from the 1956 Spirituals album, with the addition of four previously unreleased recordings.

During this time, Franklin would occasionally travel with The Soul Stirrers. As a young gospel singer, Franklin spent summers on the gospel circuit in Chicago and stayed with Mavis Staples' family.According to music producer Quincy Jones, while Franklin was still young, Dinah Washington let him know, "Aretha was the 'next one'". In 1958, Franklin and her father traveled to California, where she met singer Sam Cooke. At the age of 16, Franklin went on tour with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and she would ultimately sing at his funeral in 1968.

After turning 18, Franklin confided to her father that she aspired to follow Sam Cooke in recording pop music, and moved to New York. Serving as her manager, C. L. Franklin agreed to the move and helped to produce a two-song demo that soon was brought to the attention of Columbia Records, who agreed to sign her in 1960. Franklin was signed as a "five-percent artist". During this period, Franklin would be coached by choreographer Cholly Atkins to prepare for her pop performances. Before signing with Columbia, Sam Cooke tried to persuade Franklin's father to sign her with his label, RCA, but his request was denied. Record label owner Berry Gordy was also looking to sign Franklin and her elder sister Erma to his Tamla label. However, C.L. Franklin felt the label was not yet established enough, and he turned Gordy down. Franklin's first Columbia single, "Today I Sing the Blues", was issued in September 1960 and later reached the top 10 of the Hot Rhythm & Blues Sellers chart.

Columbia (1961–1966)

In January 1961, Columbia issued Franklin's first secular album, Aretha: With The Ray Bryant Combo. The album featured her first single to chart the Billboard Hot 100, "Won't Be Long", which also peaked at number 7 on the R&B chart. Mostly produced by Clyde Otis, Franklin's Columbia recordings saw her performing in diverse genres such as standards, vocal jazz, blues, doo-wop and rhythm and blues. Before the year was out, Franklin scored her first hit single with her rendition of the standard "Rock-a-Bye Your Baby with a Dixie Melody". "Rock-a-Bye" became her first international hit, reaching the top 40 in Australia and Canada. By the end of 1961, Franklin was named as a "new-star female vocalist" in DownBeat magazine. In 1962, Columbia issued two more albums, The Electrifying Aretha Franklin and The Tender, the Moving, the Swinging Aretha Franklin, the latter of which reached No. 69 on the Billboard chart.

In the 1960s, during a performance at the Regal Theater, WVON radio personality Pervis Spann announced that Franklin should be crowned "the Queen of Soul". Spann ceremonially placed a crown on her head. By 1964, Franklin began recording more pop music, reaching the top 10 on the R&B chart with the ballad "Runnin' Out of Fools" in early 1965. She had two R&B charted singles in 1965 and 1966 with the songs "One Step Ahead" and "Cry Like a Baby", while also reaching the Easy Listening charts with the ballads "You Made Me Love You" and "(No, No) I'm Losing You". By the mid-1960s, Franklin was making $100,000 per year from countless performances in nightclubs and theaters. Also during that period, she appeared on rock-and-roll shows such as Hollywood A Go-Go and Shindig!. However, she struggled with commercial success while at Columbia. Label executive John H. Hammond later said he felt Columbia did not understand Franklin's early gospel background and failed to bring that aspect out further during her period there.

Atlantic (1967–1979)

In November 1966, Franklin's Columbia recording contract expired and she chose to move to Atlantic Records. In January 1967, she traveled to Muscle Shoals, Alabama, to record at FAME Studios and recorded the song "I Never Loved a Man (The Way I Love You)", backed by the Muscle Shoals Rhythm Section. Franklin only spent one day recording at FAME, as an altercation broke out between her manager and husband Ted White, studio owner Rick Hall, and a horn player, and sessions were abandoned. The song was released the following month and reached number one on the R&B chart, while also peaking at number nine on the Billboard Hot 100, giving Franklin her first top-ten pop single. The song's b-side, "Do Right Woman, Do Right Man", reached the R&B top 40, peaking at number 37. In April, Atlantic issued her frenetic version of Otis Redding's "Respect", which reached number one on both the R&B and pop charts. "Respect" became her signature song and was later hailed as a civil rights and feminist anthem.

Franklin's debut Atlantic album, I Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You, also became commercially successful, later going gold. Franklin scored two more top-ten singles in 1967, including "Baby I Love You" and "(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman". Her rapport with producer Jerry Wexler helped in the creation of the majority of Franklin's peak recordings with Atlantic. In 1968, she issued the top-selling albums Lady Soul and Aretha Now, which included some of her most popular hit singles, including "Chain of Fools", "Ain't No Way", "Think" and "I Say a Little Prayer". That February, Franklin earned the first two of her Grammys, including the debut category for Best Female R&B Vocal Performance. On February 16, Franklin was honored with a day named for her and was greeted by longtime friend Martin Luther King Jr., who gave her the SCLC Drum Beat Award for Musicians two months before his death. Franklin toured outside the US for the first time in May, including an appearance at the Concertgebouw, Amsterdam, where she played to a near hysterical audience who covered the stage with flower petals. She appeared on the cover of Time magazine in June.

Franklin's success expanded during the early 1970s, during which she recorded the multi-week R&B number one "Don't Play That Song (You Lied)", as well as the top-ten singles "Spanish Harlem", "Rock Steady" and "Day Dreaming". Some of these releases were from the acclaimed albums Spirit in the Dark and Young, Gifted and Black. In 1971, Franklin became the first R&B performer to headline Fillmore West, later that year releasing the live album Aretha Live at Fillmore West. She returned to Gospel music in a two-night, live-church recording, with the album, Amazing Grace, in which she reinterpreted standards such as Mahalia Jackson's "How I Got Over". Amazing Grace sold more than two million copies. The live performances were filmed for the purpose of a concert film directed by Sydney Pollack, but due to synching problems and Franklin's own attempts to prevent the film's distribution, its release was only realized by producer Alan Elliott in November 2018. Franklin's career began to experience problems while recording the album, Hey Now Hey, which featured production from Quincy Jones. Despite the success of the single "Angel", the album bombed upon its release in 1973. Franklin continued having R&B success with songs such as "Until You Come Back to Me" and "I'm in Love", but by 1975 her albums and songs were no longer top sellers. After Jerry Wexler left Atlantic for Warner Bros. Records in 1976, Franklin worked on the soundtrack to the film Sparkle with Curtis Mayfield. The album yielded Franklin's final top 40 hit of the decade, "Something He Can Feel", which also peaked at number one on the R&B chart. Franklin's follow-up albums for Atlantic, including Sweet Passion (1977), Almighty Fire (1978) and La Diva (1979), bombed on the charts, and in 1979 Franklin left the company.

Arista (1980–2007)

In 1980, after leaving Atlantic Records, Franklin signed with Clive Davis's Arista Records and that same year gave a command performance at London's Royal Albert Hall in front of Queen Elizabeth. Franklin also had an acclaimed guest role as a soul food restaurant proprietor and wife of Matt "Guitar" Murphy in the 1980 comedy musical The Blues Brothers. Franklin's first Arista album, Aretha (1980), featured the No. 3 R&B hit "United Together" and her Grammy-nominated cover of Redding's "I Can't Turn You Loose". The follow-up, 1981's Love All the Hurt Away, included her famed duet of the title track with George Benson, while the album also included her Grammy-winning cover of Sam & Dave's "Hold On, I'm Comin'". Franklin achieved a gold record—for the first time in seven years—with the 1982 album Jump to It. The album's title track was her first top-40 single on the pop charts in six years. The following year, she released "Get It Right", produced by Luther Vandross.In 1985, inspired by a desire to have a "younger sound" in her music, Who's Zoomin' Who? became her first Arista album to be certified platinum. The album sold well over a million copies thanks to the hits "Freeway of Love", the title track, and "Another Night". The next year's Aretha album nearly matched this success with the hit singles "Jumpin' Jack Flash", "Jimmy Lee" and "I Knew You Were Waiting for Me", her international number-one duet with George Michael. During that period, Franklin provided vocals to the theme songs of the TV shows A Different World and Together. In 1987, she issued her third gospel album, One Lord, One Faith, One Baptism, which was recorded at her late father's New Bethel church, followed by Through the Storm in 1989. The same year, Franklin performed "America the Beautiful" at WWE's Wrestlemania III, the company's third annual "entertainment spectacular", in her home state of Michigan. Franklin's 1991 album, What You See is What You Sweat, flopped on the charts. She returned to the charts in 1993 with the dance song "A Deeper Love" and returned to the top 40 with the song "Willing to Forgive" in 1994.

In 1995, she was selected to play Aunt Em in the Apollo Theater revival of The Wiz. Franklin's final top 40 single was 1998's "A Rose Is Still a Rose". The album of the same name was released after the single. It sold in excess of 500,000 copies; earning a gold album.

That same year, Franklin received global praise after her 1998 Grammy Awards performance. She had initially been asked to come and perform in honor of the 1980 The Blues Brothers film in which she appeared with Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi. That evening after the show had already begun, Luciano Pavarotti himself contacted show producers and said he was too ill to perform the opera aria "Nessun dorma" as planned. The show's producers were desperate to fill the time slot, and approached Franklin with their dilemma. She was a friend of Pavarotti, and had sung the selection two nights prior at the annual MusiCares event. She asked to hear Pavarotti's rehearsal recording, and after listening, agreed that she could sing it in the tenor range that the orchestra was prepared to play in. Over one billion people worldwide saw the performance, and she received an immediate standing ovation. She would go on to record the selection, and perform it live several more times in the years to come; the last time being in Philadelphia for Pope Francis at the World Meeting of Families in September 2015. A small boy was so touched by her performance that he came onto the stage and embraced her while Franklin was still singing.

Her final Arista album, So Damn Happy, was released in 2003 and featured the Grammy-winning song "Wonderful". In 2004, Franklin announced that she was leaving Arista after more than 20 years with the label. To complete her Arista obligations, Franklin issued the duets compilation album Jewels in the Crown: All-Star Duets with the Queen in 2007. The following year, she issued the holiday album This Christmas, Aretha, on DMI Records. In February 2006 she performed "The Star-Spangled Banner" with Aaron Neville and Dr. John for Super Bowl XL, held in her hometown of Detroit.

Later years (2008–2018)

On January 20, 2009, Franklin made international headlines for performing "My Country, 'Tis of Thee" at President Barack Obama's inaugural ceremony with her church hat becoming a popular topic online. In 2010, Franklin accepted an honorary degree from Yale University. In 2011, under her own label, Aretha's Records, she issued the album Aretha: A Woman Falling Out of Love.

In 2014, Franklin was signed under RCA Records, controller of the Arista catalog and a sister label to Columbia via Sony Music Entertainment, and worked with Clive Davis. An album was planned with producers Babyface and Danger Mouse. On September 29, 2014, Franklin performed to a standing ovation, with Cissy Houston as backup, a compilation of Adele's "Rolling in the Deep" and "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" on the Late Show with David Letterman. Franklin's cover of "Rolling in the Deep" was featured among nine other songs in her first RCA release, Aretha Franklin Sings the Great Diva Classics, released in October 2014. In doing so, she became the first woman to have 100 songs on Billboard's Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart with the success of her cover of Adele's "Rolling in the Deep", which debuted at number 47 on the chart.

In December 2015, Franklin gave an acclaimed performance of "(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman" at the 2015 Kennedy Center Honors during the section for honoree Carole King, who co-wrote the song. During the bridge of the song, Franklin dropped her fur coat to the stage, for which the audience rewarded her with a mid-performance standing ovation. She returned to Detroit's Ford Field on Thanksgiving Day 2016 to once again perform the national anthem before the game between the Minnesota Vikings and Detroit Lions. Seated behind the piano, wearing a black fur coat and Lions stocking cap, Franklin gave a rendition of "The Star-Spangled Banner" that lasted more than four minutes and featured a host of improvizations. Franklin released the album A Brand New Me in November 2017 with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, which uses archived recordings from Franklin. It peaked at number 5 on the Billboard Top Classical Albums chart before her death and rose to number 2 after her death.

While Franklin canceled some concerts in 2017 due to health reasons, and during an outdoor Detroit show, she asked the audience to "keep me in your prayers", she was still garnering highly favorable reviews for her skill and showmanship. At the Ravinia Festival on September 3, 2017, she gave her last full concert. Franklin's final performance was at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine in New York City during Elton John's 25th anniversary gala for the Elton John AIDS Foundation on November 7, 2017.

Music style and image

According to Richie Unterberger, Franklin was "one of the giants of soul music, and indeed of American pop as a whole. More than any other performer, she epitomized soul at its most gospel-charged". She had often been described as a great singer and musician due to "vocal flexibility, interpretive intelligence, skillful piano-playing, her ear, her experience". Franklin's voice was described as being a "powerful mezzo-soprano voice". She was praised for her arrangements and interpretations of other artists' hit songs. According to David Remnick, what "distinguishes her is not merely the breadth of her catalogue or the cataract force of her vocal instrument; it's her musical intelligence, her way of singing behind the beat, of spraying a wash of notes over a single word or syllable, of constructing, moment by moment, the emotional power of a three-minute song. 'Respect' is as precise an artifact as a Ming vase". Describing Franklin's voice as that of a youngster on her first album, Songs of Faith, released in 1956 when she was just 14, Jerry Wexler explained that it "was not that of a child but rather of an ecstatic hierophant". Critic Randy Lewis assessed her skills as a pianist as "magic" and "inspirational". Musicians and professionals alike such as Elton John, Keith Richards, Carole King, and Clive Davis were fans of her piano performances.

In 2015, then-President Barack Obama wrote the following regarding Franklin:

Nobody embodies more fully the connection between the African-American spiritual, the blues, R. & B., rock and roll — the way that hardship and sorrow were transformed into something full of beauty and vitality and hope. American history wells up when Aretha sings. That's why, when she sits down at a piano and sings 'A Natural Woman,' she can move me to tears — the same way that Ray Charles's version of 'America the Beautiful' will always be in my view the most patriotic piece of music ever performed — because it captures the fullness of the American experience, the view from the bottom as well as the top, the good and the bad, and the possibility of synthesis, reconciliation, transcendence.

Civil rights activism

From her time growing up in the home of a prominent African-American preacher to the end of her life, Franklin was immersed and involved in the struggle for civil rights and women's rights. She provided money for civil rights groups, at times covering payroll, and performed at benefits and protests. When Angela Davis was jailed in 1970, Franklin told Jet: "Angela Davis must go free ... Black people will be free. I've been locked up (for disturbing the peace in Detroit) and I know you got to disturb the peace when you can't get no peace. Jail is hell to be in. I'm going to see her free if there is any justice in our courts, not because I believe in communism, but because she's a Black woman and she wants freedom for Black people". Her songs "Respect" and "(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman" became anthems of these movements for social change. Franklin and several other American icons declined to take part in performing at President Donald Trump's 2017 inauguration as a large-scale act of musical protest.

Franklin was also a strong supporter for Native American rights. She quietly and without fanfare supported Indigenous Peoples' struggles worldwide, and numerous movements that supported Native American and First Nation cultural rights.

Personal life

After being raised in Detroit, Franklin relocated in the 1960s to New York City, where she lived until moving to Los Angeles in the mid-1970s. She eventually settled in Encino, Los Angeles, where she lived until 1982. She then returned to the Detroit suburb of Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, to be close to her ailing father and siblings. Franklin maintained a residence there until her death. Following an incident in 1984, she cited a fear of flying that prevented her from traveling overseas; she performed only in North America afterwards.

Franklin was the mother of four sons. She first became pregnant at the age of 12 and gave birth to her first child, named Clarence after her father, on January 28, 1955. The father was widely believed and reported to be "Donald Burk, a boy she knew from school"; however, in one of her handwritten wills discovered in 2019, Franklin revealed the father was Edward Jordan. On August 31, 1957, Franklin had a second child with Jordan, named Edward Derone Franklin after his father. Franklin did not like to discuss her early pregnancies with interviewers. Both children took her family name. While Franklin was pursuing her career and "hanging out with [friends]", Franklin's grandmother Rachel and sister Erma took turns raising the children. Franklin would visit them often. Franklin's third child, Ted White Jr., was born to Franklin and her then-husband Theodore "Ted" White in February 1964 and is known professionally as Teddy Richards. He provided guitar backing for his mother's band during live concerts. Her youngest son, Kecalf Cunningham, was born in April 1970 and is the child of her road manager Ken Cunningham.

Franklin was married twice. Her first husband was Ted White, whom she married in 1961 at the age of 19. Franklin had actually seen White the first time at a party held at her house in 1954. After a contentious marriage that involved domestic violence, Franklin separated from White in 1968 and divorced him in 1969. Franklin married her second husband, actor Glynn Turman, on April 11, 1978, at her father's church. By marrying Turman, Franklin became stepmother of Turman's three children from a previous marriage. Franklin and Turman separated in 1982 after Franklin returned to Michigan from California, and they divorced in 1984. In 2012, Franklin had plans to marry her longtime companion Willie Wilkerson. She and Wilkerson had been engaged twice before. Franklin eventually called off the 2012 engagement.

Franklin's sisters, Erma and Carolyn, were professional musicians and spent years performing background vocals on Franklin's recordings. Following Franklin's divorce from Ted White, her brother Cecil became her manager, and maintained that position until his death from lung cancer on December 26, 1989. Sister Carolyn died in April 1988 from breast cancer, while eldest sister Erma died from throat cancer in September 2002. Franklin's half-brother Vaughn died in late 2002. Her half-sister, Carol Kelley (née Jennings; born 1940), is C. L. Franklin's daughter by Mildred Jennings, a then 12-year-old congregant of New Salem Baptist Church in Memphis where C. L. was pastor.

Franklin was performing at the Aladdin Hotel in Las Vegas, on June 10, 1979, when her father, C. L., was shot twice at point-blank range in his Detroit home. After six months at Henry Ford Hospital while still in a coma, C. L. was moved back to his home with 24-hour nursing care. Aretha moved back to Detroit in late 1982 to assist with the care of her father, who died at Detroit's New Light Nursing Home on July 27, 1984.

Franklin's music business friends included Dionne Warwick, Mavis Staples, and Cissy Houston, who began singing with Franklin as members of the Sweet Inspirations. Houston sang background on Franklin's hit "Ain't No Way". Franklin first met Cissy's daughter, Whitney, in the early 1970s. She was made Whitney's honorary aunt (not a godmother as has been occasionally misreported), and Whitney often referred to her as "Auntie Ree". Franklin had to cancel plans to perform at Whitney Houston's memorial service on February 18, 2012, due to a leg spasm.

Franklin was a Christian and was a registered Democrat.

Health

Franklin had weight issues for many years. In 1974, she lost 40 pounds (18 kg) on a crash diet and maintained her new weight until the end of the decade. She again lost weight in the early 1990s, before gaining some back. A former chain smoker who struggled with alcoholism, she quit smoking in 1992. She admitted in 1994 that her smoking was "messing with my voice", but after quitting smoking she said later, in 2003, that her weight "ballooned".

In 2010, Franklin canceled a number of concerts to have surgery for an undisclosed tumor. Discussing the surgery in 2011, she quoted her doctor as saying that it would "add 15 to 20 years" to her life. She denied that the ailment had anything to do with pancreatic cancer, as had been reported. On May 19, 2011, Franklin had her comeback show at the Chicago Theatre. In May 2013, she canceled two performances because of an undisclosed medical treatment. Later the same month, she canceled two June concerts and planned to "resume her touring schedule in July". A show scheduled for July 27 in Clarkston, Michigan, was canceled due to continued medical treatment. She canceled an appearance at a Major League Baseball luncheon in Chicago honoring her commitment to civil rights on August 24 and also a performance on September 21 in Atlanta, Georgia. During a phone interview with the Associated Press in late August 2013, Franklin stated that she had had a "miraculous" recovery from her undisclosed illness but had to cancel shows and appearances until her health was at 100%, estimating she was about "85% healed". Franklin later returned to live performing, including a 2013 Christmas concert at Detroit's MotorCity Casino Hotel. She launched a multi-city tour in mid-2014, starting with a performance on June 14 in New York at Radio City Music Hall.

In February 2017, Franklin announced that 2017 would be her final year touring. However, she scheduled some 2018 concert dates, before cancelling them based on her physician's advice.

Death and funeral

On August 13, 2018, Franklin was reported to be gravely ill at her home in Riverfront Towers, Detroit. She was under hospice care and surrounded by friends and family. Stevie Wonder, Jesse Jackson and ex-husband Glynn Turman visited her on her deathbed. Franklin died at her home on August 16, 2018, aged 76, without a will. The cause of death was pancreatic neuroendocrine tumor (pNET), though widely mis-reported as pancreatic cancer, a different disease. Numerous celebrities in the entertainment industry and politicians paid tribute to Franklin, including former U.S. president Barack Obama who said she "helped define the American experience". Civil rights activist and minister Al Sharpton called her a "civil rights and humanitarian icon".

A memorial service was held at New Bethel Baptist Church on August 19. Thousands then paid their respects during the public lying-in-repose at the Charles H. Wright Museum of African American History. The August 31 Homegoing Service held at Greater Grace Temple in Detroit, included multiple tributes by celebrities, politicians, friends and family members and was streamed by some news agencies such as Fox News, CNN, The Word Network, BET and MSNBC. Among those who paid tribute to Aretha at the service were Ariana Grande, Bill Clinton, Rev. Al Sharpton, Louis Farrakhan, Faith Hill, Fantasia, The Clark Sisters, Ronald Isley, Chaka Khan, Jennifer Holliday, Loretta Devine, Jennifer Hudson, Queen Latifah, Shirley Caesar, Stevie Wonder, Eric Holder, Gladys Knight, Cedric the Entertainer, Tyler Perry, Smokey Robinson, and Yolanda Adams. At her request she was eulogized by Rev. Jasper Williams Jr. of Salem Baptist Church in Atlanta, as Williams had eulogized her father as well as speaking at other family memorials. Williams's eulogy was criticized for being "a political address that described children being in a home without a father as 'abortion after birth' and said black lives do not matter unless blacks stop killing each other". Franklin's nephew Vaughan complained of Williams: "He spoke for 50 minutes and at no time did he properly eulogize her".

Following a telecast procession up Seven Mile Road, Franklin was interred at Woodlawn Cemetery in Detroit.

Legacy and honors

Franklin received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 1979, had her voice declared a Michigan "natural resource" in 1985, and became the first woman inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1987. The National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences awarded her a Grammy Legend Award in 1991, then the Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award in 1994. Franklin was a Kennedy Center Honoree in 1994, recipient of the National Medal of Arts in 1999, and was bestowed the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2005. She was inducted into the Michigan Rock and Roll Legends Hall of Fame in 2005, and the Rhythm & Blues Hall of Fame in 2015. Franklin became the second woman inducted to the UK Music Hall of Fame in 2005. She was the 2008 MusiCares Person of the Year, performing at the Grammys days later. In 2019 she was awarded a Pulitzer Prize Special Citation "[f]or her indelible contribution to American music and culture for more than five decades." Franklin was the first individual woman to receive a Pulitzer Prize Special Citation.

In 2010 Franklin was ranked first on Rolling Stone magazine's list of the "100 Greatest Singers of All Time" and ninth on their list of "100 Greatest Artists of All Time". Following news of Franklin's surgery and recovery in February 2011, the Grammys ceremony paid tribute to the singer with a medley of her classics performed by Christina Aguilera, Florence Welch, Jennifer Hudson, Martina McBride, and Yolanda Adams. That same year she was ranked 19th among the Billboard Hot 100 All-Time top artists.

When Rolling Stone listed the "Women in Rock: 50 Essential Albums" in 2002 and again 2012, it listed Franklin's 1967, "I Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You", number one. Inducted to the GMA Gospel Music Hall of Fame in 2012, Franklin was described as "the voice of the civil rights movement, the voice of black America" and a "symbol of black equality". Asteroid 249516 Aretha was named in her honor in 2014. In 2018, Franklin was inducted in to the Memphis Music Hall of Fame.

"American history wells up when Aretha sings", President Obama explained in response to her performance of "A Natural Woman" at the 2015 Kennedy Center Honors. "Nobody embodies more fully the connection between the African-American spiritual, the blues, R&B, rock and roll—the way that hardship and sorrow were transformed into something full of beauty and vitality and hope". Franklin later recalled the 2015 Kennedy Center Honors as one of the best nights of her life. On June 8, 2017, the City of Detroit honored Franklin's legacy by renaming a portion of Madison Street, between Brush and Witherell Streets, "Aretha Franklin Way". On January 29, 2018, Gary Graff confirmed that Jennifer Hudson will play Franklin in an upcoming biopic.

Honorary degrees

Franklin received honorary degrees from Harvard University and New York University in 2014, as well as honorary doctorates in music from Princeton University, 2012; Yale University, 2010; Brown University, 2009; University of Pennsylvania, 2007; Berklee College of Music, 2006; New England Conservatory of Music, 1997; and University of Michigan, 1987. She was awarded an honorary Doctor of Humane Letters by Case Western Reserve University 2011 and Wayne State University in 1990 and an honorary Doctor of Law degree by Bethune–Cookman University in 1975.

Tributes

After Franklin's death, fans added unofficial tributes to two New York City Subway stations: the Franklin Street station in Manhattan, served by the 1 train, and the Franklin Avenue station in Brooklyn, served by the C​ and S trains. Both stations were originally named after other people. Although the fan tributes were later taken down, the subway system's operator, the Metropolitan Transportation Authority, placed temporary black-and-white stickers with the word "Respect" next to the "Franklin" name signs in each station.

During the American Music Awards on October 9, 2018, the show was closed by bringing Gladys Knight, Donnie McClurkin, Ledisi, Cece Winans, and Mary Mary together to pay tribute to Aretha Franklin. The "all-star" group performed gospel songs, including renditions from Franklin's 1972 album, Amazing Grace.

A tribute concert, "Aretha! A Grammy Celebration for the Queen of Soul", was organized by CBS and The Recording Academy on January 13, 2019, at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles. The concert included performances by Smokey Robinson, Janelle Monáe, Alicia Keys, John Legend, Kelly Clarkson, Celine Dion, Alessia Cara, Patti LaBelle, Jennifer Hudson, Chloe x Halle, H.E.R., SZA, Brandi Carlile, Yolanda Adams and Shirley Caesar, and was recorded for television, airing on March 10.

At the 61st Annual Grammy Awards, the ceremony was ended with a memorial tribute to the life and career of Franklin. It concluded with a rendition of her 1968 hit, "A Natural Woman (You Make Me Feel Like)," by Fantasia Barrino-Taylor, Andra Day and Yolanda Adams.

In other media

On February 10, 2019, it was announced that the subject of the third season of the American National Geographic anthology television series Genius would be Franklin, in the "first-ever, definitive scripted miniseries on the life of the universally acclaimed Queen of Soul". Filming is set to commence in mid-2019, for an early-2020 release.

Loss of materials

On June 25, 2019, The New York Times Magazine listed Aretha Franklin among hundreds of artists whose material was reportedly destroyed in the 2008 Universal fire.

[alylionheart]

To Dream

Summary: A trip to the market brings out the imaginative side of Vision.

Pairing: Scarlet Witch x Vision

Word Count: 1,049

Warnings: Im...plications...of smut? In a way?? Its one sentence

Author’s Note: Part of the series-not series of events that occur between Civil War and Infinity War! The other parts are: If The World Stood Still and The Stars but you do not have to read those to understand and enjoy this one!

Masterlist!

The sky is a beautiful shade of orange, like her hair. It’s been like that for almost two years now. He loves the way it brings out the green in her eyes. She’d said it was to help keep herself under the radar, but he couldn’t understand how. It only made her more beautiful in his eyes. To him, she’d draw more attention simply by entering a room.

He tries to focus on reality.

The sky is orange and the sun is starting to set. Her voice is like a melody, a beautiful song he felt honored to hear. She spoke of her childhood, stories of her twin and their parents. She talked of races around the temple, stumbling into the dirt and scraping her knee, Pietro quick to help her to her feet. Vision admired the tales of her brother, his adoration for his sister, the lengths he’d go to protect her. He was cocky when they’d met but had a heart of gold. That was the expression, right?

Reality, Vision. Come back to Earth.

They walked through the town, somewhere in Romania, and she stopped for a moment at the scent of some herbs. It was a small booth amongst others in a marketplace.

It felt like home, she’d said when they first saw it. All the booths; produce grown and picked by the hands that sold them, linens handwoven with beautifully intricate designs, and even handcrafted furniture pieces that had soul in each carved angle. Wanda had begun to talk to the vendor at the herbs and spices stall, a sweet looking woman, and they shared a laugh over something he didn’t hear.

He wasn’t paying attention to them at the moment.

There was another stall that caught his eye, one that sold intricately crafted jewelry. He stepped over to the stall, staring down at the pieces. The necklaces, the bracelets, and rings.

Rings.

Some were colorful and sweet, shaped like hearts of flowers. Most of these were small, possibly intended for young daughters.

Some were beautiful and grand, meant for romantic words, a dirt scuffed knee, and a vow for eternity.

Those were the ones he liked, the ones that grasped his mind and held it in a dream.

Maybe they wouldn’t have eternity.

He didn’t think he’d be so lucky.

Yet, his mind ran with it. It sped off with the idea of eternity with Wanda Maximoff.

Mornings in her arms, her eyes flickering over his face like he was a work of art, as if she wasn’t a masterpiece herself. Breakfast spent watching her prepare her meal, the swing of her hips as she sang a catchy song she’d fallen in love with in France. Other mornings where he’d wake her with a tray of breakfast and the promise that the food was well prepared. Afternoons, the two twisted together in bed, her head on his chest, the television playing a show only she watched, his eyes settled on the glow of her face. Evenings in that same bed, fingers intertwined against the sheets, her gaze filled with adoration, lips parted with breaths that fogged up the room, the sounds she emitted like an elegant tune with beautiful high notes.

All this spent in a house, perhaps, somewhere on the outskirts of Sokovia. She could help rebuild it, like she wanted, put her powers to good use as she’d said. The house wouldn’t be much, nothing grand like what he’d want to offer her, no paradise like the Avengers facility. It would be quaint and sweet, photos they’d taken together, of each other, with each other, hanging on the walls. Fresh flowers in vases on every surface, perfectly picked from the garden in their front yard. A menorah for the holidays, but only on that looked like one she’d had when she was little.

Holidays they’d spend together, every year, just the two of them…and maybe two more of them. They’d be replicas of her image because he couldn’t create them with her. She would teach them Sokovian before English and how to pray in Hebrew. She’d teach them politeness and how to be courteous and kind-hearted, like she is. He’d homeschool them, teach them science and math and everything his internal database could supply, and Wanda would have to reel him in, remind him their only children and can’t understand aerodynamics. Not just yet.

Children of their own. She would be able to accomplish the impossible, creating the kids they’d love. He was sure she could do anything.

After all, she taught a synthetic being how to love.

Maybe this would all stay a dream, maybe they wouldn’t have the time they needed to get close to a life like that.

Yet he stared at one ring, a gold one with a white stone in the center and red stones on both sides of it. It was beautifully made and it just…embodied her soul.

----------

“Vizh? Are you alright?” Wanda asked as she stepped into their hotel room, walking over to the small kitchenette, setting the paper bags of produce and spices down on the counter. “You haven’t said a word since we got back…is something wrong?” She looked back at him with worry filled eyes and something stung in his chest as he realized he put that look on her face.

“Not at all.” He sat down on the bed they shared and held a hand out, inviting her to join him. As she sat beside him, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I bought you something in the market…I wanted to wait until we returned here to give it to you.” She tilted her head in curiosity and he pulled out a ring from his coat pocket. It was silver with a ring of vibrant blue stones around it. “I saw it and it reminded me of Pietro, the color of the trail his speed left behind. I thought it would be a nice reminder…i-if you don’t like it, you don’t have to worry, you don’t have to-“ Her finger to his lips cut him off and he looked over at her. Now he felt a hole in his chest, staring at her beautiful green eyes blurred with tears. “W-Wanda-“

“I love it, Vizh…” She smiled at him, leaning up to close the space between them, kissing his lips softly.

The gold ring he’d seen, he had purchased as well, and sat in his other pocket. For now, the silver one would do. Perhaps the gold one could wait for their next rendezvous…in Edinburgh, Scotland.

Tags: @irndad @animelover929 @saltymermaid @scarletwitchvision

[agent-aly-parker]

To Dream

Summary: A trip to the market brings out the imaginative side of Vision.

Pairing: Scarlet Witch x Vision

Word Count: 1,049

Warnings: Im…plications…of smut? In a way?? Its one sentence

Author’s Note: Part of the series-not series of events that occur between Civil War and Infinity War! The other parts are: If The World Stood Still and The Stars but you do not have to read those to understand and enjoy this one!

Masterlist

The sky is a beautiful shade of orange, like her hair. It’s been like that for almost two years now. He loves the way it brings out the green in her eyes. She’d said it was to help keep herself under the radar, but he couldn’t understand how. It only made her more beautiful in his eyes. To him, she’d draw more attention simply by entering a room.

He tries to focus on reality.

The sky is orange and the sun is starting to set. Her voice is like a melody, a beautiful song he felt honored to hear. She spoke of her childhood, stories of her twin and their parents. She talked of races around the temple, stumbling into the dirt and scraping her knee, Pietro quick to help her to her feet. Vision admired the tales of her brother, his adoration for his sister, the lengths he’d go to protect her. He was cocky when they’d met but had a heart of gold. That was the expression, right?

Reality, Vision. Come back to Earth.

They walked through the town, somewhere in Romania, and she stopped for a moment at the scent of some herbs. It was a small booth amongst others in a marketplace.

It felt like home, she’d said when they first saw it. All the booths; produce grown and picked by the hands that sold them, linens handwoven with beautifully intricate designs, and even handcrafted furniture pieces that had soul in each carved angle. Wanda had begun to talk to the vendor at the herbs and spices stall, a sweet looking woman, and they shared a laugh over something he didn’t hear.

He wasn’t paying attention to them at the moment.

There was another stall that caught his eye, one that sold intricately crafted jewelry. He stepped over to the stall, staring down at the pieces. The necklaces, the bracelets, and rings.

Rings.

Some were colorful and sweet, shaped like hearts of flowers. Most of these were small, possibly intended for young daughters.

Some were beautiful and grand, meant for romantic words, a dirt scuffed knee, and a vow for eternity.

Those were the ones he liked, the ones that grasped his mind and held it in a dream.

Maybe they wouldn’t have eternity.

He didn’t think he’d be so lucky.

Yet, his mind ran with it. It sped off with the idea of eternity with Wanda Maximoff.

Mornings in her arms, her eyes flickering over his face like he was a work of art, as if she wasn’t a masterpiece herself. Breakfast spent watching her prepare her meal, the swing of her hips as she sang a catchy song she’d fallen in love with in France. Other mornings where he’d wake her with a tray of breakfast and the promise that the food was well prepared. Afternoons, the two twisted together in bed, her head on his chest, the television playing a show only she watched, his eyes settled on the glow of her face. Evenings in that same bed, fingers intertwined against the sheets, her gaze filled with adoration, lips parted with breaths that fogged up the room, the sounds she emitted like an elegant tune with beautiful high notes.

All this spent in a house, perhaps, somewhere on the outskirts of Sokovia. She could help rebuild it, like she wanted, put her powers to good use as she’d said. The house wouldn’t be much, nothing grand like what he’d want to offer her, no paradise like the Avengers facility. It would be quaint and sweet, photos they’d taken together, of each other, with each other, hanging on the walls. Fresh flowers in vases on every surface, perfectly picked from the garden in their front yard. A menorah for the holidays, but only on that looked like one she’d had when she was little.

Holidays they’d spend together, every year, just the two of them…and maybe two more of them. They’d be replicas of her image because he couldn’t create them with her. She would teach them Sokovian before English and how to pray in Hebrew. She’d teach them politeness and how to be courteous and kind-hearted, like she is. He’d homeschool them, teach them science and math and everything his internal database could supply, and Wanda would have to reel him in, remind him their only children and can’t understand aerodynamics. Not just yet.

Children of their own. She would be able to accomplish the impossible, creating the kids they’d love. He was sure she could do anything.

After all, she taught a synthetic being how to love.

Maybe this would all stay a dream, maybe they wouldn’t have the time they needed to get close to a life like that.

Yet he stared at one ring, a gold one with a white stone in the center and red stones on both sides of it. It was beautifully made and it just…embodied her soul.

———-

“Vizh? Are you alright?” Wanda asked as she stepped into their hotel room, walking over to the small kitchenette, setting the paper bags of produce and spices down on the counter. “You haven’t said a word since we got back…is something wrong?” She looked back at him with worry filled eyes and something stung in his chest as he realized he put that look on her face.

“Not at all.” He sat down on the bed they shared and held a hand out, inviting her to join him. As she sat beside him, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I bought you something in the market…I wanted to wait until we returned here to give it to you.” She tilted her head in curiosity and he pulled out a ring from his coat pocket. It was silver with a ring of vibrant blue stones around it. “I saw it and it reminded me of Pietro, the color of the trail his speed left behind. I thought it would be a nice reminder…i-if you don’t like it, you don’t have to worry, you don’t have to-“ Her finger to his lips cut him off and he looked over at her. Now he felt a hole in his chest, staring at her beautiful green eyes blurred with tears. “W-Wanda-“

“I love it, Vizh…” She smiled at him, leaning up to close the space between them, kissing his lips softly.

The gold ring he’d seen, he had purchased as well, and sat in his other pocket. For now, the silver one would do. Perhaps the gold one could wait for their next rendezvous…in Edinburgh, Scotland.

Tags: @irndad @animelover929 @saltymermaid @scarletwitchvision

[foxofthedesert]

RQ OUaT FF | OGA: Ch. 5

Chapter 5 – A Chilling Report

After actually cleaning up in the shower like they were supposed to instead of carousing like newlyweds, Regina and Red prepare for the rest of their day. Since they are already late to court, Regina throws on a black satin slip then meanders over to one of her three wardrobes. She takes her time perusing her vast collection of dresses, deliberately fingering the fabric of each exquisite item until she comes across the one that catches her appraising eye. Pulling it out reverently, she studies it for a moment before gliding over barefoot to the body length mirror to admire it against her figure.

Sporting a collar adorned with long, inky raven feathers, the long-sleeved black and maroon garment with enormous frilly lace cuffs dotted with diamonds, some large enough to be set in a crown and some small enough to be fit for earrings. Silver and gold filigree piping accents the plunging jewel neckline, innumerable diamonds of various sizes attached all along the ornately shapes of the ornamentation which actually stretches past the end of the bodice. The skirts are accented a wide, flaring strip of ruffled raven feathers all the way down to the hem. It's an ostentatious number to be sure, but one of Regina's favorites.

"I love that dress. It's the one you wore the night you proposed," Red says, eyeing said garment – and Regina – wistfully from her perch on the corner of their bed.

Covered only by her thinner, less modest crimson slip, Red drapes a shapely leg over her knee and leans her weight on one arm, causing the hem to ride up high enough to reveal a hint of her underwear. Regina swears under her breath, fingers itching to delve underneath the fabric and dip into the fertile field so tragically concealed by silk and lace. The woman really is a shameless tease who enjoys taking advantage of the effect her womanly wiles produce in Regina. Thankfully the movement is clearly innocuous, as Red's expression betrays her submersion within the effervescent haze of a memory that is forever etched in both of their minds.

"You had your hair up in this high windswept bun and were wearing these tear-drop shaped earrings with onyx settings," Red goes on, her voice light and breezy, full of the wonderful magic of that most special night that comes to life with every passing word and second. "There was a bejeweled talon ring on your left index finger. And I'd never seen such a fancy necklace like the one that goes with that dress, either. The way it dipped into your cleavage..." she trails off, blushing alluringly, "Wow. To say I was awestruck doesn't begin to cover it, especially not when you were looking at me like I was your whole world, like you loved me beyond your own ability to comprehend it. I'd never felt so loved, so appreciated and cherished and desired. I was ready to fight the world for you before, but that night I realized I was ready to die for you."

Regina has heard all of this before, of course, though it never hurts to hear it again. It's nice to be reminded from time to time that the gamble she took that night has paid off in such spectacular fashion.

Having decided she would endure no more calls for her to abandon Red in favor of a suitable husband to further the kingdom's interest, the only natural course of action remaining was for her to elevate Red from the Queen's consort to her co-ruler. It was a risky move that flew in the face of powerful people who already did not particularly care for her, many of whom would be all too happy to see her dethroned or dead. deeply unpopular amongst the nobles, it accomplished Regina's ends just fine. Not only did all calls for her to but she got to make an honest woman out of the love of her life.

Knowing the night she proposed was to be momentous for them both, Regina pulled out all the stops. She spared no expense in arranging the exotic ingredients for their dinner to be imported from Chansiréne, a coastal town many leagues to the south. The seafood dish features something the local inhabitants of that realm refer to as lobster mornay under a bed of rice baked in a mix of onion soup and consommé, preceded by mussel and saffron soup, and is capped off by a rich chocolate mousse topped with sugary whipped cream. The meal became Red's favorite the first time she sampled it at a gala they were invited to while visiting Prince Eric and Princess Ariel shortly after the birth of their daughter Melody. With Red, Regina quickly discovered the old saying that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is also only applicable women, especially when they are werewolves that require twice the caloric intake of a normal human female – and even more during Wolf's Time.

The royal dining hall was cleared out of all décor for the occasion save for the banner boasting the old family crest, the rearing stallion and dashing cavalier. The grand table large enough to host a party of fifty was disassembled and moved so a smaller, more intimate one could be brought in that seated only two. A lush red orchid was procured to decorate the table, again Red's favorite, and the best china and silverware in the castle was brought out. With much room to spare due to the lack of the grand table, a bevy of musicians were hired to keep up a constant stream of romantic music, all the most accomplished upon their instrument, featuring two violinists, a cellist, a flutist, and a guitarist from the realm of Xavier from whence Regina hailed. A recently developed instrument was debuted in the castle that night as well, the piano, a gorgeous piece of craftsmanship invented some years before in Drakkenhall – King Stefan's realm – and which only just caught on in Misthaven. New candelabras were ordered for the occasion with wolf's head cups, howling maws fashioned to hold the lavender scented candles Red prefers, and she had red orchid petals strewn about the floor as if the litter of their cozy stone forest with no trees and a canopy of thick cedar braces and rosewood paneling.

Regina can remember the moment Red walked in, arrayed in the dress Regina had requested her to wear that she instructed her personal designer to make just for that night. It was a slightly more sleek dress than Regina's, also brocade dyed, though instead of maroon accents upon a black background the colors were reversed and the designs deliberately depicting the branches of an apple tree whose fruit was shaped as a crescent moon. It had a unique neckline sewn to also resemble a crescent moon, though it was lacked the gaudy ornamentation as Red prefers simpler garments. All of her jewelry, the wolfshead necklace with burning red eyes and moon-shaped earrings, were gold and set with ruby gemstones, as Red cannot abide silver touching her skin due to her genetic condition. Meanwhile her hair was left down, curls tumbling over her shoulder and splaying down her back all the way to the small, a golden floral headband wound into the thick strands at her crown. Taken as a whole, she was a vision from the otherworld, an ethereal being wrapped in flesh whose skin was flush with joy and whose eyes danced with unfathomable devotion. Regina has only ever seen a more beautiful sight once, on their wedding day, when Red walked down the aisle in her wedding gown clinging to her grandmother's arm.

"You know I feel the same, darling," Regina says, reaching back for Red's hand, needing to feel their skin touch with undeniable fervency. When they join together, Red having slid off the bed, she tugs her wife over to the mirror. "For whatever reason I'm feeling nostalgic right now, not that it's a bad thing. That was a night I'll never forget."

Red bumps her hip, smiling at her. "Me either. I know why you're all sentimental right, though." When Regina arches a brow, Red's smile spreads into a cheeky grin. "It's 'cause of what happened in the shower a few minutes ago." Regina's amused scoff only makes Red chuckle and bump their hips together again. "C'mon. Admit it. I'm just that good."

A blush colors Regina's cheek, though she plays it off with her typical bluster. "Ha! And who was it that did all the work? I seem to recall it wasn't you..."

"Oh, yeah?" Red interrupts, her own cheeks glowing, "I seem to recall not even needing to touch you to make you cum. So tell me, who's the one with magic, huh? Bet that's a trick not even that old devil who taught you couldn't figure out."

A full body wince corkscrews through Regina at the mention of her old mentor. "Forgetting any thought of associating...him...with what we just did," she says, "I must grant that you have a unique ability to make me see stars that is quite magical indeed. It's why I keep you around, my love."

"Aww, and here I thought it was my rustic charm and pretty face that kept you coming back for more." Red bats her eyes prettily for effect. It works, which isn't all that shocking. Regina is long used to Red getting what she wants with a sly ability manipulate she would never have guessed the outwardly common woman to possess. She has paid dearly for that underestimation over the years. The only silver lining is that it is mostly to her benefit. Red hardly ever asks for anything that is purely selfish.

"Well, those admirable virtues certainly don't hurt your undeniable appeal." Regina adds a lighthearted wink at the end that tickles Red, who giggles in that genuine, cutesy way of hers that is endearing, unlike most other noble ladies who put on airs of a perpetual debutante incapable of achieving emotional or intellectual maturity. "That said," she adds, "best not brandish that charm too much lest we be even later for court than we already are."

The conversational redirect, although abruptly interrupting their enjoyable interplay, was a necessary step to get them back on track for the rest of the day. Sometimes in the heady aftermath of their lovemaking, Red is easily distracted and a chore to keep focused, which means Regina has to do some subtle steering. Such as now, when she would much prefer to loiter in their bedchambers and reminisce about the night she proposed and perhaps have a repeat of their positively volcanic tryst in the shower. Ah, the oft maddening frustrations of being a ruler…

"I'll try to keep it to a minimum then," Red says, amiably accepting the shift in direction. "Any suggestions for me? Or should I just pick out whatever I'm in the mood for?"

Regina taps her chin thoughtfully for a few moments before her mind is drawn once again to the night of her proposal. She snaps her fingers gleefully, eyes alighting.

"Why don't you fetch the dress you wore that night?" she says. "We can both enshroud ourselves in pieces of our history and let the memories bolster us through the coming hours of tedium."

"Ooooh! That's a great idea!" Clapping with delight, she skitters away toward her own wardrobe, throws it open and begins rifling through it to find the correct dress. When she finds it, she pulls it out and sweeps a hand across the fabric, inhales deeply then lets out a slow, dreamy sigh. "Oh goodness, I haven't worn this in so long." Her face then scrunches up, nose crinkling adorably as if she's smelled something rotten all of the sudden. "I wonder if I still fit in it. Gracious me, I bet I've gained fifteen pounds since we got married..."

She most certainly has not gained a single pound and she does still fit in the dress as perfectly as the first time she wore it. Regina deliberately points this out when Red is all buttoned up and looking so beautiful she cannot breathe for several seconds. Seeing Red in that dress dredges up so many emotions, all of the best kind – warmth, happiness, security, hope, a feeling of home that supersedes all other places or people that were formerly with that word, and so much love that her chest can hardly contain it and her heart barely withstand it. And when Red smiles that smile, the one that announces she is feeling all the same things, Regina has to force herself to behave when all she wants is to reenact the epic culmination of that supremely wonderful night.

With much difficulty she limits herself to three kisses before rechecking their dresses to smooth down any remaining wrinkles and making any last minute adjustments to their hair or the pounds of priceless jewelry they are expected to wear at such occasions as Petition Day. And then they are off hand-in-hand toward the throne room to get on with the never-ending business of being monarchs.

For the past four years the first Thursday of each month has been dedicated as the official day the Crown receives petitions. Today happens to be one such Thursday, although Red certainly has made them fashionably late. No matter. It is not the first time, nor will it be the last.

As per tradition, until sunset the royal couple is availed to their subjects so that they may receive complaints in matters either successfully appealed to a higher authority than their local magistrates or too broad in scope to fall under the umbrella of local or regional adjudication. Sometimes Regina defers judgment to Red, who presides alongside her, while sometimes she handles matters herself. In the most critical cases they confer with one another and do not render judgment until a consensus is reached.

No matter who is deciding the outcome of the various cases, the days are invariably long and mentally arduous. By the time they are back in their chambers, weary of mind as of body, Regina is usually rueing her vulnerability to a certain brunette's ridiculously effective appeals. It was Red's fault, after all, she was convinced to reinstitute the monthly event she had canceled upon her ascension to the throne. Previously, she had foisted responsibility to oversee the relevant cases upon the Council of Nobles. The system worked well enough, just not for Red, who had an idealistic view of the monarchy primarily inspired by any number of Snow's sanctimonious sermons about the Crown's accountability to the people. Anyone else's pleading would have been dismissed with prejudice. The thing is, with anyone else Regina did not have to contend with soulful green eyes tugging imploringly at an invisible string tied around her heart and an exaggerated pout accentuating lips that were always begging to be kissed.

"It really isn't fair," she often laments to Iris, their handmaid, "how easily the woman can weaponize a pout." Iris, usually struggling to contain a smile, simply reminds her she wouldn't wish it any other way. Which is true, not that Regina would ever admit to that.

On this particular occasion, there is an endless stream of claimants. They span the broad spectrum of society from nobles with petty squabbles over money and land to commoners whose penchant to be ruled by their passions has landed them into a variety of troubles. Most of the claims are easily handled within a matter of minutes, which leaves Regina to wonder why so many are left unattended by the local authorities.

Perhaps it is time for me to intervene, she tells herself as Red listens sympathetically to a woman's woeful tale. Apparently, her husband absconded to a neighboring kingdom with all of the capital from their business. Along with their most valuable, and much younger, employee. That this was not dealt with in the woman's district is revealing. Her subordinates are getting lazy, she decides, and she won't stand for it.

"I will personally write to Queen Abigail to negotiate the recompense of your lost capital," Red tells the woman, completely composed and in her element.

Red's current conduct is so unlike the uncertain, out-of-depths, skittish young commoner without an inkling about nobility, who for love of a Queen suddenly found herself thrust into the high pressure obligations of a monarch. There was a time she could not have spoken so many words without stammering or her voice being riddled with timidity. Years of practice have erased those hallmarks of what some might refer to as ineptitude, and Regina could not be more proud of the astounding progress that has been made. Red is every bit the graceful ruler she always knew she could be.

"Since taking the reins of rule, she has proven herself to be very reasonable," Red continues addressing the aggrieved woman who is hanging on her every word. "Also, the Queen and I have an excellent rapport with her that I'm sure she will take into account. Now, I cannot force your husband to come home, nor can I compel Queen Abigail to have him put in the stocks for a few days as he clearly deserves. But I can promise to do all I'm able to recoup your livelihood." When the woman nods gratefully, choking back a cry of thanks, Red gives her one of those patented smiles. "In the meantime, you will be extended a usury free loan to keep your business afloat. Should the overtures to Queen Abigail bear fruit, the treasury will simply account the incoming funds as your due repayment. Should they unexpectedly fail, you will be immediately forgiven half the debt and the rest you may pay as you are able over the course of five years. Does that sound fair?"

That question that causes Regina to wince, though she schools her features quickly lest her highly perceptive wife notice. Red is an excellent judge of character and has a keen mind for numbers, but sometimes her benevolent tendencies gets the better of her. She would be better served to care slightly less about what seems fair to those she is judging when said parties have a vested interest in exclusively and aggressively pursuing their own favor. What is fair to the petitioner is nearly always at odds with what is advantageous to the Crown.

But Regina has learned to pick her battles where her wife is concerned. In some areas, Red is as resistant to change as she is. And ultimately, she can't complain too much when Red's compassion offsets her own pragmatism, thus keeping the scales of justice in precarious balance. It's just another example of how well suited they are for one another. In this case, the kingdom just so happens to be the beneficiary.

"Yes, Your Majesty, very fair," the woman says, effusive with gratitude, as she ought to be considering the extraordinary mercy she's been shown. "I swear I won't forget this. Thank you! Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome," Red says, still smiling as she waves for the Chamberlain, who scurries at her beckoning. "Richard! Escort this lovely lady to the Treasury and instruct Ebeneezer to extend her a loan of twenty-five gold pieces, thirty-seven silver, and forty coppers." Eyes sharpening, she leans forward deliberately. "Make certain he understands the credit is to be without interest. If he gives you any lip about it, tell him I know what he did for Bob Crachit's boy and wouldn't mind one bit widely disseminating that little glimpse of his humanity."

"Yes, of course, Your Majesty. Right away," Richard replies, then bows deeply before gesturing toward the doors of the throne room. "Come along, dear. Let's get you sorted out. Shall we?" Still mumbling her thanks, the woman follows the Chamberlain out the door.

Regina chuckles lowly at Red's choice of tactic to handle their treasurer. "Well, well. Blackmail? I didn't know you had it in you."

Red harrumphs. "Serves the old codger right. What he did for Timmy was sweet. I don't see why he's so embarrassed about being kind to a sick kid on Yule. He could stand to do it more often."

"Not too often," Regina says, one corner of her lips twisting up wickedly. "Having an implacable Scrooge for our Treasurer has made us incredibly wealthy."

Red just laughs, shaking her head in exasperation as Regina waves the guard at the door. Obeying the silent command, he goes about granting admission to the next petitioner. While she waits, she relaxes into her throne and adopts an air of irritated boredom. Best to keep things moving along. Her old reputation still has it's uses. If people think she's on edge, they won't be as apt to take their liberties with time or tone.

Expecting another tedious case, she is not at all prepared for the panicked messenger who bursts through the grand double doors with all the delicacy of one of those berserkers from the north on the warpath. The man's face is awash with tension and sweat trickles down the long line of his square jaw. He is limping noticeably, favoring his left leg, while his left arm hangs uselessly at his side.

Regina jerks forward upon her throne and she hears Red gasp upon recognizing the knight as one currently serving in the far reaches of the realm. There is a garrison near the border shared with the realm Snow White and Prince Charming rule that he commands. It is one of the kingdom's most vital outposts. She has not suspected Snow and Charming of being up to no good for some time, but she cannot afford to leave anything to chance where her long-time enemy is concerned. An ounce of prevention and all that.

"Captain Locksley," she says to the faithful soldier. Her tone is strained as she was immediately set on edge by his frightful condition. "I am surprised to see you here seeing as I have not requested your presence. You are not due to give your yearly report for another six weeks. Why, then, have you abandoned your post?"

There are few more dependable men in service to the crown than Robin of Locksley. He is another one of Red's pet projects. A rugged survivalist who once made Sherwood Forest his home, he made an unlikely friend out of Misthaven's new Queen when he attempted to rob her carriage passing through on the way to visit her grandmother and her pals, Snow and Charming. Long had the Prince of Thieves been a nuisance to all three monarchs whose realms trisected the sprawling, labyrinthine forest most sane individuals preferred to avoid.

Bandits and thieves were not the only dangers that lurked in the deep shadows of Sherwood. There were unnatural terrors that made their home in the crevices and hollows of a forest as famous for not allowing light to penetrate its thick canopy as for being the last known location of the missing and presumed dead. Robin and his Merry Men scraped out a living there, what's more, they made it into a home. They were a formidable bunch of miscreants and outlaws. Just not formidable enough to take on a werewolf capable of destroying elite squadrons of highly trained soldiers all by herself. They had thought it a once in a lifetime stroke of luck spotting the Queen's carriage cutting through Sherwood's eastern flank. Red proved them wrong. When she was done, all eight of Robin's men were incapacitated and the legendary bowman himself treed by a wolf so massive even the skulking horrors of Sherwood fled from her in fear.

Of course, being the push over that she is, Red let them all go. She swears to this day Robin persuasively talked himself out of being brought in by offering to take her to their camp where he introduced her to his family and the families of his larcenous entourage. It is the exact same story she used to convince Regina to drop all charges against the exiled nobleman who was forced to flee for his life after his father was murdered and his good name ruined by a corrupt Sheriff who was angling to ingratiate himself to an equally unscrupulous Prince. When Red sets her mind to something, there is no changing it. Championing Robin's cause is proof enough of that. She was relentless in his defense and visited Sherwood often until she eventually wore down Regina's resolve. That Prince John was decidedly furious with her granting Robin and all of his Merry Men sanctuary provided an additional benefit to a decision that she has yet to have cause to regret.

There are few better suited for leadership than Captain Locksley. Before his exile, he had served in the army of his king and been a veteran commander of many battles on foreign soil. His experience with banditry only sharpened an already keen tactical mind and a broad, strong frame built for combat. It is little surprise that Mulan took an instant liking to him and brought him on as her second. Approving Mulan's appointment of him to commander over the strategic outpost nestled against the border with the White Kingdom was a foregone conclusion. Outside of her Commanding General, Captain Locksley is one of her finest soldiers.

Robin is also a good, kind, lionhearted man. He is an excellent father and a loving husband and very good friend to both Regina and Red. Which made discovering his lion tattoo a bit more palatable. Make no mistake, it threw her for a loop for a long time, but when she got over the shock, she realized who they might have been to one another made no difference in the present. When she walked away from the tavern, and him, that day so many years ago, she had made the right choice. Both of them were happier for her cowardice, and far better off. Having come to know Robin personally through Red, she is convinced they are fundamentally incompatible. How Tinker Bell's fairy magic linked them together, she has no idea except to theorize the bungling wasp made yet another mistake. Which is not out of the realm of possibility when Blue thought Tink so incompetent she was stripped of her wings then banished to Neverland of all places. Whatever the case for the mishap, Regina is glad she didn't listen to Tinker Bell. And so is Robin, who agrees wholeheartedly with her dubious assessment of them supposedly being Soul Mates. For him, that is Marian, while for her that is Red. No one can convince either of them otherwise.

Anyway, seeing Robin injured is unsettling enough without him having left his post. Deep in the pit of her stomach, she suspects that whatever brought him here today is about to shake the foundations of her life. She cannot imagine how right she is.

In response to Regina's pointed question, Robin ducks his head as he approaches the dais, kneeling before his Queen like the good soldier that he is, in spite of the pain the action causes. "I have not, my Queen," he replies after raising his head to meet her demanding gaze. His injuries aside, there is something in his tone that she's never heard before, a terror and fury that is reflected in his eyes. When Regina raises a brow at the deflection, he sighs, then proceeds to amend his statement. "I mean to say, Your Majesty, that there is no post left to abandon. The garrison has been burnt to the ground and the regiment slaughtered. I am the last living of seventy-five."

"What?!" she snaps, rising abruptly. Beside her, she feels Red stiffen in horror, and though her wife and fellow Queen remains seated, Red does scoot to the edge of her seat. Gripping the armrest so forcefully it groans out a creak, concern wafts out from her in waves. Regina does not have to glance down to know her wife's expression gives off much the same impression as her posture. "What the hell happened, Captain?" she then demands of her subordinate.

Captain Locksley's proud shoulders shrink inward at her tone. He is clearly haunted by the events that have lead him here, and Regina's harshness has only exacerbated the trauma he has suffered. She takes several slow breaths to calm her rising temper. Though her control returns, his reaction has ratcheted up her concern several degrees.

"I left my second in command in charge while I accompanied a patrol of new recruits in the local forests to personally gauge their mettle, as is my custom," he replies. "When I returned two hours later, the garrison was burning. It was unlike anything I had ever seen before. Green flames engulfed the entire structure, and the heat was so intense that I and the men who accompanied me on patrol could not get within twenty yards without being overcome. Inside, I could hear the tormented screams of those trapped and burning alive. That's when she appeared." He looks away, his speech petering out as he gives a barely noticeable shudder.

"Who appeared, Robin?" Red then asks, much more gentle in her prodding.

Whereas Regina respects and trusts Captain Robin Locksley as a loyal soldier, Red values him as a friend. Affection for Red is not uncommon among the military. Their junior Queen is often to be found among them, having joined in on their training to keep her combat skills sharp or to simply enjoy the camaraderie of a tight-knit unit who depend upon one another to survive. They welcome her because she is one of those rare individuals whose smile unleashes the sun and whose eyes reflect the best version of those around her. Morale is measurably boosted whenever she is around. Her prowess in hand-to-hand and with the bow have earned their admiration, but it is her innate kindness and her unique ability to make them all laugh that inspires their undying love. For that reason alone, Regina tolerates her Queen spending so much time with a rough and tumble and often uncouth crowd. Held to an exceedingly high standard of comportment they may be, but her soldiers are still soldiers.

When Regina once expressed concern that Red was sacrificing her authority over them to gain their friendship, she refused to heed the warnings. She was determined to be uncomfortably close to the men and women she may one day have to order out to their deaths.

"As Queen, I have sent legions to their inevitable doom," Regina had explained. "I was groomed to be able to deal with the repercussions, but I worry about your tender heart and the effect such a heavy weight might have on it. When factoring in your personal relationships with them, that worry gets a little too close to fear for my liking. You endanger yourself needlessly by befriending those who might be called to die tomorrow on your command."

"If they are going to be sacrificing their lives for me at any time in the future, then I owe them the respect of knowing them as human beings," Red had countered, fierce in her stance. "And don't be so concerned for my heart. I'm tougher than I look. You of all people should know that."

"I do know that," Regina had sighed. "But you're my wife. My job is to protect you at all costs, even if that means the threat is from yourself."

And it is a job she will never relinquish by choice. That Red's goodness is only equaled by her toughness does not eliminate the obligation to shield her spouse from any and all pain she can. Red gets close enough to the troops as is considering the cold truth that armies are expendable. For that reason alone, she instituted a policy that keeps her companies out on rotations rather than permanently assigning one to the Citadel. Red cannot grow dangerously attached to men and women who are not constantly stationed in such close proximity. Selfish though it was, the change was what she believed to be best for Red at the time. That opinion has not changed one iota since.

Still, Red stubbornly finds ways to keep in touch with those she has grown particularly fond of. Such as her favorite drinking buddies, preeminent among them Captain Locksley and General Mulan.

In recognition of that friendship, Captain Locksley gives Red a small smile before his grimace returns in full force. "She did not speak her name," he then answers Red's question as to the identity of the person who has destroyed a vital garrison in the realm's defense. Regina is burning to know who it is so that she can personally see to it that they are captured and punished.

"Is there anything of value that you can tell us?" Regina inquires. She doesn't mean to come off so harshly, but her hackles are raised and she is angry, an emotion she has always found incredibly difficult to conceal.

Captain Locksley winces, then nods in affirmation. "She was tall and beautiful, with pale skin and hair the color of the setting sun. She dressed in all black. I can also tell you also that she wiped out my men with little effort, wielding power that surpasses any I have witnessed. And I do not disrespect Your Majesty with that statement. It is merely an observation."

"Duly noted," Regina says through clenched teeth and then gestures in his direction. "So this woman is a tall and beautiful sorceress of great power. Is there anything else?" He nods, and she says, "Then by all means, continue."

"The most distinguishing thing about her," he goes on after a rasping cough, "is her skin. It is green, your Majesty, just as her magic."

Regina raises a judgmental brow. "And yet you say she was beautiful? If I didn't know your wife to be such a lovely woman, I would be inclined to question your tastes, Captain, if not your eyesight."

"Regina..." Red sighs, and Regina rolls her eyes.

"My apologies." She is insincere in her delivery. And while both Red and Captain Locksley are well aware she does not mean the apology, they accept it all the same. The soldier does so because she is his Queen whereas Red simply loves her unconditionally. "Was there anything else?"

"Yes, my Queen," Captain Locksley replies. "She did not kill me for a reason. She left me alive, though maimed, to deliver a message."

That grabs Regina's interest. "Oh? And what might that message be?"

He grunts and then coughs again, this time covering his mouth with the sleeve of his white tunic. When it comes away bloody, Red rises and makes to rush to his aid. Regina halts her with a hand on her forearm.

"Let the man speak," she says, not unkindly, "and then I will have him taken straight to the physician."

Red clearly has objections to this sequencing, but she defers out of propriety and trust. Although Regina has made Red a Queen in equal standing with her, as Red's elder, both in age and experience, it is common knowledge that Regina's word is the highest in the land, something with which Red is perfectly agreeable.

"The message is this," he says, and as he speaks, his voice morphs from his masculine timber into something altogether feminine. His accent shifts along with the change, making the effect jarring. Silence falls over the court as the Captain rises to his feet as if completely against his will.

Regina suddenly understands what is going on and she shifts herself to stand between her wife and the soldier whose will and motor function have been usurped in an act of magical prowess few are capable of. It's as if the man has been possessed, and in a manner, she knows he has been. Or at least a very specific part of him has been. A cold chill shoots down her spine. The taking of hearts is the darkest of magicks that only the Dark One and his disciples can perform.  Is it possible Rumplestiltskin is behind this?

"No longer is this realm safe," the new voice proclaims. It is the witch, Regina knows, speaking through the Captain's heart, which she has wrenched from his chest. "There is a new ruler in Misthaven. Just as Oz before, Misthaven will fall and all shall bow to me. Beginning with you, Queen Regina." At that, Locksley's eyes level square on Regina. They are cold, so very cold, and devoid of humanity, and Regina can see by his corresponding expression that the individual controlling him is completely insane. "Let this be your one and only warning. I am coming for what is owed to me, and I will take it, leaving you broken at my feet before I end your miserable life. Prepare yourself accordingly, Your Majesty. The days of your reign are numbered."

And with that, Captain Locksley suddenly returns to himself. "My Queen, she intends to pois-" But he does not get to finish his sentence. He straightens with a sharp gasp and his eyes bug out in untold agony before he goes limp. He slumps face first to the floor as if a rag doll. Regina does not need to feel for a pulse to know he is dead, his heart having been ground to dust.

Shocked, she stares the prone, unmoving figure of her friend and faithful servant. Her heart races in her chest, anger and despair cascading through her torso with its every fierce collision against her rib cage. Poor Marian and Roland. How is she supposed to break this news to Robin's family? She aches for them and the pain they will soon have to endure. And for what? Because some crazy bitch hates me?

"Robin!" Red's voice suddenly rings out, shrill in her dismay. She scurries gracelessly to the fallen man's side and turns him over, cradling him in her arms. She calls his name several times as she paws at his face, trying to rouse him from a slumber that will never end. When reality finally dawns, she turns brimming eyes up to Regina, desperate for answers she can't give.

"I'm so sorry," Regina says, and then gestures for her guards to come and take the body. Red resists their initial attempts, growling at them through baleful yellow eyes. They spring back in fear. "Stand down, my love. You must let them take him," Regina then says, gathering her skirts to descend the dais. Once standing beside her grief stricken wife, she lays a gentle hand on her shoulder and the gestures for the guards to try again. When they come and crouch to gather the body of their fallen comrade, Red does not protest, although she whimpers as Captain Locksley is taken from her arms and carried away.

Only after the doors close behind the guards does Red lift herself from the floor. She stands for several moments, breathing heavily and trying not to cry in front of the entire court. Regina takes her hand and gently cups her face.

"Go to our chambers and do as you must away from prying eyes," she says, eyes imploring Red to listen. She knows Red needs to have a long, miserable cry and can't unless she is sequestered somewhere private – it is not becoming for a queen, even one as informal and famous for her gentle heart as Red, to show such sentimentality in front of her subjects. "I will take care of business here and then come to you directly." Red begins to protest, but Regina does not let her. "Please, darling. For me."

"Okay. For you," Red agrees after a moment of silence. A solitary tear rolls down her cheek.

Heedless of the impropriety, Regina leans in to give her wife a kiss upon the forehead, hoping that it helps, even if just a little, to alleviate her grief.

It is unbearable to see Red in any kind of pain, making for a stressful life considering Red is a werewolf who enjoys getting into trouble at every opportunity. Often she incurs injuries that, were she human, would be lethal or at best have severely maimed her. Being that she is a werewolf, she bounces back quickly, but that doesn't assuage Regina's anxieties any at all. She still frets over Red every time she limps home wounded from a scuffle with a bear or some other large animal during Wolf's Time, and still hovers like a worried mother hen whenever something happens that wounds Red's sensitive heart.

To her relief, Red ducks her head to accept the kiss, and seems to marginally calm down before giving Regina a weak smile. Without another word, she departs the throne room. And though her shoulders are drawn in and her gait is a bit uneven, she holds her head high.

Knowing that Red is processing what has happened without becoming mired in anger or sorrow helps Regina to go about the rest of her day. She finishes taking petitions an hour past midday, having cut them short due to recent events. That she'd continued on at all surprises even her. Routine, she has discovered, helps to soothe frayed nerves so she can think more clearly. By the time the last of the petitions is heard, the burning outrage from the Captain's news and his subsequent death have been reduced into smoldering embers. A manageable state through which she can plan without being reckless.

Afterward, she retires to her chambers to check on Red, whom she finds curled up asleep in their bed. She did not need to see reddened, splotchy cheeks or smeared mascara around the eyes for her to recognize an almost palpable grief. She had heard snoring before she opened the chamber door, and that was more than enough evidence. Red only ever snores when she is totally exhausted, suffering from a rare bout of allergies at the changing of the seasons, or is overly worried about something that plagues her mind even in her sleep.

Knowing how deeply wounded Red is by the Captain's death hurts, and not in a way that indicates any kind of jealousy. This is one of the reasons she so worries about Red's frequent interactions with the men and women sworn to protect the realm and the royal family. Soldiers die. It is a hard, inescapable fact of life in a world torn by strife between rival kingdoms and factions often at each other's throats. Conflicts spark into life with such regularity and with so little advanced notice that every monarch with the means to do so keeps standing armies in battle-readiness year around. Whether small or large, battles mean a pile of wounded and dead for both sides.

Regina has attempted countless appeals for Red to be careful with her heart. A sensitive one such as hers should not be made to endure repeated losses, which it will because many of the soldiers she has befriended will die in combat long before reaching middle age. But Red ignores those pleas in favor of continuing to spar with the castle's garrison and clandestinely patronize her favorite pub with her friends of military persuasion. Twice a month they gather in the little town located at the base of the mountain upon which the castle sits to carouse and tell stories and laugh until their bellies hurt. The only reason Regina hasn't put a stop to it is because of how happy it makes Red to have that time to unwind with folk cut from the same cloth as her. Commoners have this universal thread of acceptance as to the importance of having fun in the grand scheme of life. Regina thinks it is because they all understand, much more clearly the nobility, how tragically brief and ruthless life is.

There was a time in Regina's life she valued fun also, but her fun had been of a different sort. To her, riding horses or fencing with her private instructor or passing a lazy afternoon reading were ideal forms of recreation. Not that she can indulge in such things when being Queen imposes strict restraints on very nearly her every waking hour. The majority of what precious spare time she has is allocated for her family. Only what remains is spent on hobbies. But that doesn't mean she begrudges Red her outings. Quite the opposite. She isn't so callous that she would deny Red any opportunity to enjoy herself when that would be just the same as locking her up in a cage, gilded as it may be.

Werewolves are social creatures who require interaction not only with other wolves but with other people. Normally the pack would meet both of these needs. But Red is without a true pack, which means she has to find stimulation elsewhere by running in her fur with the wolf packs native to Misthaven and by commiserating with what human friends she is able to make that Regina approves as trustworthy. That stipulation rubbed Red the wrong way many a time, but it was the only way Regina was going to let her Queen spend time away from her personal guard and outside of Regina's proximity. Captain Locksley was the first person Red met in the Dark Palace that Regina found worthy of that trust. He was, other than Snow, Red's oldest friend.

The sorrow written upon Red's face and evident upon her still form even in slumber elicits an acute need to crawl into bed with her wife, if only to give her what comfort she can. It's a crying shame their Huntsman is so far afield, else she could indulge her selfish desires. But Graham is even more indisposed than Mulan, and with no one else she trusts enough to handle this crisis, the responsibility falls to her. It is with great difficulty that she scrounges up enough strength to leave after watching over Red for only a few precious minutes.

Before departing, she again brushes her lips against her wife's forehead and whispers, "I love you. I really am so sorry."

Here’s a link to Regina’s dress.

[anon-luv]

Manhattan [Jungkook X Reader]

ONE SHOT[Jungkook X Reader]

Genre: Angst/Romance/Fluff

Word Count: 2,500+

Summary: Jungkook had always dreamed big, and you didn’t know if you could keep up with him. You were scared that you would drag him down with you, and you wanted him to continue his path to be among stars. They said if you love something set it free, but in this lifetime....maybe you didn’t want your love to come back to you...you wanted him to fly up high and soar in the skies.

Author’s Notes: Idk...what to even say about this fic. To get the full experience I would play the song this fic is based on in the background while you read. I want to dedicate this one to my new tumblr friend @bunnybubkook. Thank  you sweetie for suggesting this song, I have my music soulmate everyone!!

Minor grammatical mistakes are possible, since the super edited version I had went down the drain when Tumblr went down on me (did anyone else have problems??)

Comments, Likes, and Messages are greatly appreciated. I hope you all like it!!

Based on Sarah Barielles’ song Manhattan LINK TO SONG!

You can have Manhattan

I know it's for the best

I'll gather up the avenues

And leave them on your doorstep

And I'll tip toe away

So you won't have to say

You heard me leave

Darkness had become an old friend of yours as you walked along the city that never sleeps. The brightness of the lights prohibiting you from catching a glimpse of the starless sky you have grown accustomed to, since you moved into the city with the love of your life, so he could accomplish his dreams. You had given up everything for him, your career, family, friends, and simplistic goals of the future. All you wanted was to see him smile, that beautiful bunny smile of his.

You were a goner from the very first time your eyes met his brown ones. It was a cold autumn evening when your 10-year-old self-met him while aiding his scraped knee at the park. Ever since that day, you had become inseparable. Jungkook’s personality always shined so bright, he had become your light in the darkness, so when he proposed you moved with him to the city to pursue his singing career, you didn’t even think about it twice.

Jungkook had the talent. Everyone in your little town praised him wherever he went. His voice was gold and velvety like a soft whisper or silk caress. It was sweet and moving, it could bring anyone to tears. His emotions were engraved in the tunes that blessed your ears every night before sleep and every morning as a beautiful welcome back to reality.

The dreams that interlaced with yours were Jungkook’s biggest motivation to pursue his own. He wanted the girl he loved to succeed and be happy beside him hand in hand.

Reality is cruel though, and sometimes dreams are not all what they ought to be. Your schedule gave you a limited time to pause and admire the things that now surrounded you. The location that had seemed appealing, now felt like an endless routine, a confined cage.

Jungkook’s smile had been worth it, and as it grew and increased in numbers, yours faltered. The only happiness that erupted in your stomach was the nights you cuddled in his arms, and his optimistic talks that rambled on and on about how life couldn’t be any more perfect for him. For Him…

The decision had not been easy, looking back at the lone boy that lay in the big king size bed that was made for two, gave a pang in your chest. Recently he had noticed your lack of enthusiasm as you spoke of your daily activities, he noticed how the sparkle in your eye had disappeared. He brought it up. He wanted to make it up to you. He wanted to take you out. He wanted to show you the world. The thought of traveling made your fear grow even more. You wanted something familiar, you wanted to go back to that sky full of stars….the one Jungkook had kissed you under for the first time.

The walk out the door that night was painful, but it would be even more dreadful to take him away from his dreams. With one last whispered “I love you” you walked away from the love of your life, whose dreams were bigger than your own. He deserved the world, and you wouldn’t take that away from him.

You can have Manhattan

I know it's what you want

The bustle and the buildings

The weather in the fall

And I'll bow out of place

To save you some space

For somebody new

The sun’s bright rays blinded you as you walked out of the airport, the greenery around you was highly different to the orange trees you had left behind along with him. Your phone had been off since you boarded the plane. You did not want to hear his voice before you were able to distance yourself to at least an ocean apart, for you knew you would run back to him in a second if he asked.

Jungkook, as praised as he was, had never fit in back in your hometown. He was a boy’s whose craving was of something more beyond what these trees and warm skies could offer. When you moved with him to the city the hunger that had been present in his stare and tone of voice seemed to be satisfied. Jungkook didn’t belong in this town. Jungkook didn’t belong with you. Jungkook maybe in another life would’ve been yours. One where you didn’t crave familiarity and instead seeked adventure into the unknown. One where you could offer him the artificial lights and crowds roaring his name.

Jungkook deserved someone who had her own spotlight. The spotlight you had always ran away from.

You can have Manhattan

'Cause I can't have you

Ah

You couldn’t help but think of what had been his first reaction as hiss eyes landed on your empty side of the best. Had he found the letter?? It might hurt him right now, but in the future, you knew he would move on, just like he moved on from your little town.

You could already picture him with someone as bright and full of life as he was. He would hold her hand interlocked by the pinky like he had with you. She would absolutely dazzle everyone she came in contact with in those glamorous parties Jungkook always managed to drag you out to. Jungkook would find his other half in a beautiful talented aspiring woman with dreams as big as his were. They will be perfect together. Their love will have no limits, just like their dreams.

You can have Manhattan

The one we used to share

The one where we were laughing

And drunk on just being there

Hang on to the reverie

Could you do that for me

'Cause I'm just too sad to

For the first few months the city had been more than great to you. Your new job had been a pleasant change of routine, and the ever-changing flickering building lights were a nice scenery. It was all artificial though, and after a while the monotonous array of colors out of your bedroom window became dull.

Jungkook liked taking you out to the many hot spots of the city. Your favorite one was the Central Park, which was usually filled with laughing children, people jogging, and couples walking around happily, just like the both of you. He would chase you around the playground, and when he would finally capture you in his strong arms he would carry you away tickling your sides untill you scram loudly that you loved him. Jungkook always made time to make you laugh. He said your laugh was an enchanting melody accompanied by a wild hyena. Jungkook just loved teasing you. Jungkook had always been more than a lover, Jungkook had been and always will be your best friend first.

As you arrived back to your old house, a whole bundle of past memories of the both of you eating popsicles in the front porch step when you were younger and still believed he had cooties made it’s way to your mind. Replaying them over and over again like a favorite old movie. You remember spending a whole summer wondering if there was a cure for those, since you loved holding his hand, and hated to have to wash them super well after touching him.

You craved his touch, his kisses, and his presence. You couldn’t keep holding on to them if you wanted to move on. You needed to. For your best friend, for your lover, you needed to not be selfish. Jungkook needed to stay in the city, so he could share his talent with the world. You were not going to be the reason he would be dragged down and his melodic voice wasted.

You can have Manhattan

'Cause I can't have you

The last kiss you shared with him was sweet and pure, just like the love that had grown throughout the years between the both of you. The smile that he gave you after, as he pressed his forehead against yours and nuzzled his nose with yours, will forever be engraved in your mind.

When you love something let it free…..in your case you didn’t want him to fly back to  you, instead you wanted him to fly way up high and soar through the skies.

And so it goes

One foot after the other

'Til black and white begin to color in

And I know

That holding us in place is simply fear

Of what's already changed

It had been a little over a day since you had left, and the blue skies were as clear as you remember. The night was filled with countless of stars, and as you saw one shoot by, you closed your eyes and wished for Jungkook to only hold onto the good memories, and let the bad ones disappear just like a shooting star across the sky.

The tears brimming behind your eyelids fell to no witness, as you were alone in the dark surrounded by endless green  hills. The fresh air you inhaled was missing the usual sweet smell you had grown fond of at a very young age. A mix of mint and breeze….that’s what he smelled like….

Your phone was still turned off in your purse, you were frightened of listening to the messages he might’ve left. He was your weakness and you were his…..but Jungkook had always been stronger than you. By calling him back you would just make him want to hold on tighter to a sinking boat, and he needed to stay afloat and swim ahead.

Ah

You can have Manhattan

I'll settle for the beach

And sunsets facing westward with

Sand beneath my feet

I'll wish this away

Just missing the days

When I was one half of two

You can have Manhattan

'Cause I can't have you

3 days. 3 long bright sunny days. That were filled with loneliness and waking up in your cold bed, brought upon an ache in your chest. You were not used to waking up with no one besides you, it had been years, and when you woke up your brain betrayed you and input a false image of Jungkook next to you snoring softly.

You missed him so much, but as you took your morning walk along the beach shores and let the sound of the waves crashing against eachother relax you, you knew you had made the right choice. Your souls might’ve wanted to hold on to one another, and the dependency you had on that bunny smile was all consuming, but were  you really what was best for him.

The memories on the days you had spend by the ocean holding hands with the boy who had become your life were all full of happiness, and you felt grateful of being able to have experienced such an unconditional love.

The walk back to your little house felt endless as the regret that you have had since you had tiptoed out of his life had exploded along with your heart.

You wanted to be near him and hold him close, let him sing you your lullaby as you twirled his hair strands with your fingers. You wanted  to lay upon his chest and count his heartbeats until both of yours fell into the same rhythm.

It had only been 3 days, but it already felt like an eternity since you had been kissed by his soft pink lips.

The old wood door of your house slammed as you walked inside. The house was way too cold, and the dust that had collected from the year of abandonment was triggering your allergies. Coffee was not a solution to the pain, but it would at least wake you up. You closed your eyes as the aroma of the fresh brewing liquid took over your senses. A warmth surrounded you, and the feeling of his arms around your waist as he kissed your neck in the morning felt almost real.

“Don’t ever leave me again” you heard a deep husky voice whisper in your ear.

You turned around to see a pair of doe eyes, the doe eyes you had fallen in love with, since the first time you looked into them. His eyes were red and teary and the dark circles that surrounded them sent a wave of guilt.

You turned around and jumped into his open arms while you kissed him all over his face. The tears you both had held in, spilled like flowing rivers.

“I’m so sorry, I am so so sorry. I couldn’t stay. I didn’t want to rob you of your dreams. Your world…..You don’t have to give it up for me. I was just wilting with all the chaos ,and if you weren’t around me ..I felt suffocated….you were the only thing that kept me breathing in that sea of people….I didn’t want to do that to you” you said between sobs.

Jungkook set you down on the dusty floor and wiped away the tears that decorated your face, “The city is not my world, you are….and by you leaving,,, it was like my world had left me. My dreams are not me singing on a huge stage infront of millions, my dream is to sing for you to hear me….and how can I see your beautiful face as I sing if you are not near me. If being in the city is not for you, we will move back here” he said as he held on to your waist as if you were going to run away once again.

You looked down ashamed, Jungkook had left it all for you, “What about your career?? What about your singing”

Jungkook gave you a sad smile “I can sing anywhere I want,  but I can’t find a love like yours anywhere else”

Your eyes went wide as he kneeled down in one knee, and took out a black box with a rose shaped ring inside.

“(Y/N), forget the world, forget this little town, forget the city, forget our careers, forget the future, Think about the now, and right at this moment I am asking you, with all that I am, to let me show you how much you mean to me. You are my world, you are my dreams, and without you by my side I also feel like I can’t breath. You are my air, my ocean, and my stars. You are in every single memory I cherish. Please be mine and don’t leave me EVER again” he said adding a bunny smile.

You looked at the handsome man infront of you, and  how sincere his eyes were. He was looking at you in a way he had never looked at anything else in his life….not even the city. Looking back realization hit you full force as you remembered as you were staring at the endless buildings that illuminated the crowded city, Jungkook’s focus had always been directed to the twinkle in your eyes. You had been Jungkook’s dream all along. Jungkook’s dream was manifested at the mere age of 10, under a big green old tree, in the middle of the old neighborhood playground, at the same time as yours.

You nodded your head yes, and kissed him over and over again, as if his lips had been the oxygen your lungs had been lacking.

[hillbillyhippiemusicreview]

What Are You Listening To? Volume 2

“Is it LA sunny or Memphis blue Oh, I wish I knew, I wish I knew What are you listening to” -Chris Stapleton

Sooo…I know last time I penned this column and asked “What Are You Listening To,” I said this was going to be a weekly event—but what had happened was….I got lost. Lost in the music. Followed Alice down the rabbit hole of resplendent tunes where time stood still. Yeah, we’ll go with that. In the words of the great Colin Raye, “that’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.” Life happens! HOWEVER, I am finally back with some solid songs you need to have constantly revolvin’ in your library like they do in mine. So, without further ado, I bring to you five of the best of the new new. Did ya hear that rhyme? I’m a poet and didn’t know it. (Ya’ll ignore me, I’m sleep deprived and halfway past silly, so just turn up these tracks, tune me out, and fall in love like I did!)

1) Shelby Lore, “I’m All In”

As much as I love the sad songs, I’m a sucker for a heartfelt love song that makes me actually WANT to fall in love again, and have it stick. Shelby Lore effortlessly accomplished that feeling with his recent single, “I’m All In.” His brooding, gritty vocals pair nicely with a lovesick melody that is primed and ready for summer slow dances under the stars. The romantic lyrics reflect upon a burgeoning relationship where the fella is promising his new lover that though “[he doesn’t] know where this is headed, and [he doesn’t] know where it will end, but if it comes down to sink or swim, [he’s] all in,” promising an enduring love rather than a one night stand. My initial listen of this song was the first time Shelby had crossed my radar, and by the end of it I was a huge fan, impatiently wanting to hear more....so I listened to “I’m All In” about ten times in a row, soaking in every iota of emotion, drowning in a well of my own lovelorn blues letting it both break and heal my heart at the same time. My most favorite part? ‘Twas when he’s reflecting on the first night they shared, with the promise he’d do it all over again if only he could rewind time. Swoooooon.

 2) Kudzu Killers, “I Won’t Drown”

From the first chord of “I Won’t Drown,” I knew it was my type of jam with its vibrant, southern rock-tinged sound. By the beginning of the single, I was hooked: “reckless heart and childish games, stoked my heart and set these flames, your gypsy heart ran wild and free, I just didn’t know it wasn’t with me.” MAN...what a way to start off a song and draw you in! The harmonica solo that enters after the second verse is enough to get you on your feet dancing and clapping along, if you weren’t already--and it’ll keep you rockin’ through the duration of the song. It’s a melodious look at redemption from the burn and scorn of a former flame, while simultaneously acting as a lyrical warning about the karma that will eventually come back around. While the single is a very well-written song, the melody is played out in such a rousing way that it takes a few listens before the gravity of the lyrics begins to set in--so make sure you give it a few listens. The Kudzu Killers are at the top of my list for “Bands to Watch” in 2021 and “I Won’t Drown” is the perfect example as to why. Trust me.

 3) Gabe Lee, “’Ol Smokey”

One of my favorite Nashville treasures, Gabe Lee, is a musical force to be reckoned with—I truly believe his talent knows no bounds. “’Ol Smokey” has become a favorite of mine to blast in the car with my windows down, singing my heart out because it’s just that GOOD. This tune can originally be found on Gabe’s 2019 debut release, Farmland, but here it gets re-cut with a bit more funky folk flavor that speaks right to my heart, featuring a rockin’ bluegrass band. Lee is a master storyteller, and I both admire and envy his craft as it typically leaves me spellbound. Here, he spins the tale of a heartsick, forlorn woman still bound by the shackles of the love she shares with a downtrodden man who just can’t seem to cross back over to the right side of the tracks, despite numerous chances. The lyrics allude to Lucy Ann watching the evolution of the demise of her relationship play out on a desolate TV screen as the boys in blue roll in, but perhaps its merely a metaphor of the storm brewing in the jail cell of her mind. Give it a listen and decide for yourself.

 4) Vodka Something, “Just So You Know”

Story time: One night while absentmindedly scrolling through social media, I came across this short clip on Instagram of a wickedly talented, shirtless, heavily tattooed guy with long braids and a backwards cap playing the most beautiful song on my favorite instrument and within seconds, I was hooked. The juxtaposition of the lovely, intricate melody with the eye-catching scene seen in the video drew me in almost instantaneously, and I’ve been enamored with “Just So You Know” since that evening. So enamored to the point that I cannot accurately fathom the words to describe it. To me, it’s a bit like emo bluegrass, as if Panic at the Disco bore a musical lovechild somewhere in the foothills of Kentucky with Bill Monroe. Alternative folk is likely a better categorization, but whatever it is, it’s perfect. The pickin’ of the banjo, the lyrics, the inflection and intonation of his voice, and the whole vibe of the song and music video are jaw dropping. I don’t ever assign numerical ratings to any music I review, but if I had to—I’d give this one a 1000/10 simply for how uniquely beautiful and soul-stirring it is. Consider this an important lesson in not judging a book by its cover and to give everyone a chance--you never know what magic you may find, if only you’ll lend an ear. Now, go do your homework and L I S T E N.

 5) Bella White, “Just Like Living”

Canadian songstress Bella White has found a loving home amidst the bluegrass genre making the style her own with her 2020 album release, Just Like Living. On the title track, her piercing voice is seeped in the folklore of the past, as the euphonic instrumentals pair perfectly with the lyrics to create the quintessential bluegrass track we’ve all been missing, yet it’s wrapped neatly in a new-age sound. At times, her mellifluous vocals remind me of a female Benjamin Tod with the subtle howl and cadence she has to her flow, and I have adored what I’ve heard so far with this coming-of-age tune about leaving home behind to chase love that always seems to be just quite out of reach. Not only does she utilize her voice as an instrument, but Bella is a true wordsmith weaving her words together both vividly and poetically, as evidenced from the very first verse: “The lights pourin’ through my window dressin’ everything up in gold, and I don’t know what I’m doin’ here, I left the howlin’ winds and the prairies to find some kind of idea, am I full or am I empty?” Wow. “Just Like Living” is a must listen.

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Do me a favor--while you listen to these fabulous creations, tell someone you love ‘em today. Peace, love, and music, ya’ll. They make the world go round.

-Lyssa

[inkyardpress]

Excerpt: Everlife by Gena Showalter

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Google Play | Kobo | iBooks | Goodreads

CHAPTER ONE

“Life isn’t about what you gain; it’s about what you give.”—Troika

Ten

Present day

I peer up at the indomitable Killian Flynn, my heart thudding against my ribs.  Every breath I take fills me with hope, wonder…and dismay.

Our relationship is about to change. Everything is about to change.

Earlier we snuck out of our realms to meet in the Land of the Harvest. A secret cave in Russia’s Ural Mountains, to be exact. Now we stand face-to-face, hand in hand. Jagged rocks create the perfect frame for Killian’s wild, ravaging beauty and the unwavering strength he wields. Strength forged on the bloodiest of battlefields.

There’s no other warrior I’d rather have at my side.

Our people might be at war, but we are going to usher in peace. One step at a time.

I drink him in, this boy I’m trusting with my present—and my future. His skin is a magnificent shade between bronze and gold while his hair is jet black. His eyebrows are thick, masculine, and his nose sharp as a blade. His mouth is soft and lush. Pure temptation…

A shadow of a beard dusts his triangular jaw. Under his T-shirt and jeans, his deliciously muscled body is covered in tattoos. Skulls, stars, roses and other images, all connected by lines, creating some sort of map. That map appears on both his spirit and his Shell—an outer casing made to resemble a spirit—but he’s never told me where it leads.

One day, he’ll share all. We both will.

But it is his eyes that draw me in and hold me captive. His eyes are soulful gold with flecks of electric blue.  Always those flecks strike a chord inside me, different songs piercing my soul.  Some are fast and erratic, eliciting passion, while others are slow and dreamy; always they are haunting.

Today I hear a seductive melody that sets my blood aflame and chills me to the bone.  Makes sense. I am fire, he is ice, yet we fit. After all, the warmth of a fire is best enjoyed on a frigid winter’s day.

So many differences. Too many, most would say.

Just enough to rock the entire world.

I am day.  He is night.

I strengthen in Light.  He is unrivaled in darkness.

I like rules, structure.  He thrives in chaos.

I believe our worst emotions should never dictate our actions; we should help, forgive and care for others.  Emotions are fleeting, after all, and subject to change. Why let one ruin your life? He believes emotion should drive us every moment of every day, and caring for others is foolish. Those you help now will stab you in the back later.

To me, today’s choices dictate tomorrow’s reality.  To him, Fate decides for us.

I’m a Troikan Conduit.  He’s a Myriadian Laborer.  We are Lifeblood-born enemies, and yet he is the love of my Everlife.

As different as we are, we are also the same. Painful pasts shaped us, made us stronger. We hold on tight whenever something—or someone—threatens the people and things we love. We fight for what we believe is right, no matter the obstacles in our way.

I’m one of only two Conduits responsible for lighting Troika, and I’m supposed to kill Killian, our enemy.  I’m going to marry him, instead.

Chemistry doesn’t care about expectations.  I love and adore this boy, and I hold on tight, remember?

Even if I despised him, I would say “I do.” There’s more at stake than our hearts.

Once we unite our spirits, we will have the opportunity to unite our realms and facilitate the peace we so desperately crave. Together, we will enter Myriad and slay Ambrosine, Prince of Ravens. The realm’s corrupt Secondking.

A corrupt leader corrupts his people absolutely.

Then Killian will take the crown, and command, and order his armies to stand down. He will accept the truce Troika once offered. A truce Eron, Prince of Doves and the Secondking of Troika, has wanted for centuries.

Finally the war will end.

Once that is accomplished—or maybe before, we haven’t decided on an order yet—we will save the poor souls trapped inside Many Ends, the hellish sub-realm connected to Myriad.

Many Ends is home to the Unsigned who experience Firstdeath, as well as monstrous beings with a single goal: kill everyone. Spirits are hunted and killed in the most horrific ways.  Again…and again. Because, once a spirit “dies” in Many Ends, it comes back to life, ready for round two…three…four…

Four, the number for stability, order and justice.  A strong foundation, considering there are four sides in a square. Four cardinal directions—north, south, east, west. Four seasons to complete a year—winter, spring, summer, fall. Four winds, and four phases of the moon.

Four is the only numeral spelled with the same amount of letters as its numerical value.

Focus. I believe the spirits trapped inside Many Ends come back to life, but my theory hasn’t yet been proven.

Another uncertainty? Killian’s mother, Caroline, and my friend Marlowe could be there.  But here’s the thing. Neither Caroline nor Marlowe were Unsigned. Caroline made covenant with Myriad years before, only to experience Second-death within days of reaching the realm. Marlowe made covenant with Troika, only to void it when she committed suicide. Different people, different policies.

Myriad claimed Caroline’s spirit Fused with the spirit of a newborn infant the day of her death, but I think they lied. I think all Myriadians wind up in Many Ends, like all Troikans wind up in the Rest.

If people knew, they might not sign with Myriad. Falsehoods and propagandas keep business booming.

I need to save the damned, and I can.  I know I can.  Not because I’m special. Please. I’m just a girl who can navigate Many Ends’ treacherous labyrinth better than most, because I’ve been there.

A shudder of dismay rocks me.

“I hope ye weren’t thinking of me just then, lass.” Killian lifts my hands to his lips and kisses my knuckles, sending tingles down my spine.

 “Are you kidding? The great Killian Flynn only ever makes girls shiver with desire.”

“Or vibrate with anger.”

Smiling, I nod. “That’s fair.”

The ring on his thumb glints in the firelight, warming my heart. After my grandmother Meredith experienced Second-death, I was presented with a token of remembrance. A gun-ring with six-round cylinders, 2mm pinfire.  A gorgeous piece of weaponry and a fashion statement. My most prized possession.

I could think of no better gift when Killian gave me a hand-carved pendant in the shape of pi. Infinite possibilities rest within the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter; every possibility for every life. A number without end. Convert letters to numbers, and they, too, can be found within pi. Meaning, every number with any meaning—from our birthdays to the date we die—and every word ever spoken, every word that will be spoken, exist within pi.

“I love you” becomes 9 + 12 + 15 + 22 + 5 + 25 + 15 + 21 = 619.

Or as Killian says:

I = one letter.

Love = four letters.

You = three letters.

143, 10.

Even now, the pendant hangs from a string of leather around my neck, both beautiful and useful. Whenever I’m in trouble, I can press the center, and my location will be sent to Killian’s comm.  He can find me in an instant and help.

Now, we’re going to help each other and intertwine our futures with an unbreakable covenant.

What if, despite this, I’m unable to enter Myriad?

Zero! The doubt devil surfaces, and swarms of others follow. Will my Light hurt him?  Will his darkness harm me?  Will we weaken or strengthen each other? Will our covenant to the realms be voided? What if, after this, neither of us can return home?

Firstlife was a dress rehearsal. Now the curtain is up, and we’re performing in front of a live studio audience.  Every word, action and decision comes with a consequence. There are no second chances to right our wrongs.  No do-overs.

I’ve been told I’ll turn the tide of the war, somehow, some way. What if my bond to Killian turns the tide in Myriad’s favor?

 Maybe I should back out. Except…every fiber of my being suddenly screams in denial. Both realms have reached a boiling point. Every day innocents are slaughtered. Something has to change, and fast. This is our best shot at peace. Our only shot. And really, I want to save Myriad just as much as I want to save Troika. I shouldn’t put one realm above the other.

 Face it. If I back out now, fear wins and everyone loses.

 I will not make decisions based on “what if.” I will do what’s right, always. Because, in the end, I’m the only one who has to live with my regrets.

 Doubt devils can suck it.

Killian squeezes my hands. “Yer paler by the second, lass. There’s still time tae back out.”  His accent is thicker than usual, his voice low and husky, and irresistibly sexy.  “I doona want you feelin’ pressured.”

“I just…I wish we could speak with other inter-realm couples. We aren’t the first Troikan and Myriadian to fall in love. We can’t be.” Though we’ve searched high and low, we’ve found no one else. Either the others are in hiding…or dead.

He stiffens, as if he’s expecting a devastating blow.  “We can put this ceremony on hold and continue searching.”

And end up right where we are, perhaps far too late. “We’re doing this.  I’ll share my Light with you, and you’ll share your darkness with me. I’ll pass through the Veil of Midnight.” The doorway that leads into Myriad freezes Troikans to Second-death.  But I’m about to become half-Myriadian. Maybe. Probably. Fingers crossed.

 “If yer doing this for your mother…”

 Mom is locked in the Kennels, a prison in Myriad.  I’m going to find and free her, so she can defect to Troika to raise my little brother, Jeremy.  “She’s one of many reasons,” I say.

 He relaxes, but only slightly. “Yer only seventeen years old. We can revisit the bond in a few decades, yeah.”

Decades? I inhale deeply, drawing in the familiar and beloved scent of peat smoke and heather.  His scent.  A new wave of calm flows over me, as warm and sweet as honey.  “I’m almost eighteen, and you’re only nineteen.  So what?  We’ve lived, died and lived again.  I’m not going to wait to fight for what’s right, and I’m certainly not going to wait to claim you.”

“I doona want you doin’ something you’ll regret.”

His accent has reached maximum thickness. Aka sweet, mouthwatering molasses. Meaning his emotions are engaged and running rampant. “How could I regret a miracle?” I ask.

One dark brow arches as his incredible eyes glitter. “Explain.”

“There are over one hundred billion galaxies.  And counting!  There are incalculable universes, two realms in the Unending, two sub-realms, nine planets in our solar system, one hundred and ninety-six countries, seven seas, and over seven hundred islands.  The fact that we found each other—miracle.”

He laughs.  “Ye trying to seduce me, lass?  ‘Cause it’s working.”

This boy. Oh, this boy. He’s the one seducing me. Heart, mind, body. I love him.

But go ahead. Remove love from the equation. It doesn’t matter. Still I trust him.  Time and time again, he’s defied the orders of his Secondking in an effort to protect my family.  He’s helped me when he should have harmed me.

“It’s working, but it hasn’t carried you to the finish line yet?” I mock-growl. “I can’t believe you’re making me talk you into this. It was your idea. Maybe I should wait until you get down on one knee to beg for the honor of becoming my husband.”

His good humor fades in an instant, his features tight with tension. “I willna beg. I had tae beg for scraps as a child, simply to survive. Now I’d rather die than beg for anything.”

“Hey, hey.” Amusement gone, I gently cup his face. Tenderness wells inside me. There’s so much I don’t know about him. So much I’m eager to learn. “I was only teasing, I promise.”

He releases a shuddering breath. A second later, his lips curve in a slow smile full of promise, and tendrils of heat unfurl inside me. He is beautiful beyond imagining, though every chiseled line is cut by cruelty, as if pain lives and breathes inside him. I look at him, and I want to kiss him, hug him and shake him all at once.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “You get I’ll be cherishin’ ye every day of my Everlife, yeah?”

Just like that. I’m undone. One smile—and I fall deeper in love with him. One moment of time—and I can’t imagine a single day without him. One sentence—and I’m happier than I’ve ever been.

I rise on my tiptoes and press a soft kiss to his lips.

 “Will ye be cherishin’ me? I mean, yer wearing Troikan armor. Think your marriage is going to be a battlefield, eh?”

I give the collar of my black catsuit a self-conscious tug.

“I kid, I kid.” Killian brushes his knuckles across my jawline. “Ye look good in anything.” His voice takes on a husky timbre. “Later, ye’ll look even better in nothing.”

Heat blooms over my cheeks.

His smile returns, and it’s full of mischief, wonder and adoration. He brushes his thumbs over the rise of my cheekbones. “Yer eyes are like mini-TV screens. They broadcast yer emotions.”

 Others have told me I’m impossible to read. But then, Killian knows me better than most, and he wants me anyway. Not because I’m a rare Conduit, but because I’m me. Tenley Lockwood. A girl who’s messed up, time and time again, but continues to get up and keep fighting the good fight.

“Today, a new future will be forged,” I say. “Enemies become family.”

“The first step toward concord between our realms.”

Wind whistles outside our cave, snow billowing, while a fire crackles inside. My gaze snags on the far wall, where the numerical equivalent of our names is carved. 68 + 39.

Killian: 11 + 9 + 12 + 12 + 9 + 1 + 14 = 68

Ten: 20 + 5 + 14 = 39

68 + 39 = 107

Sonnet 107 by William Shakespeare.

Not mine own fears, nor the prophetic soul

Of the wide world dreaming on things to come,

Can yet the lease of my true love control,

Suppos’d as forfeit to a confin’d doom.

The mortal moon hath her eclipse endur’d

And the sad augurs mock their own presage;

Incertainties now crown themselves assur’d

And peace proclaims olives of endless age.

Now with the drops of this most balmy time

My love looks fresh, and Death to me subscribes,

Since, spite of him, I’ll live in this poor rhyme,

While he insults o’er dull and speechless tribes;

And thou in this shalt find thy monument,

When tyrants’ crests and tombs of brass are spent.

In other words, love is not subject to time, or even death.

In the back of my mind, the Grid ripples with approval and delivers a new surge of confidence. I am doing the right thing. We will succeed in our endeavors.

Once, I lamented my invisible link to other Troikans. Now I rejoice. Support can mean the difference between victory and defeat. But who would approve of this union? No one but me knows about it.

“Whatever happens next,” Killian says, “doona forget I love ye.” The brawler capable of any dark deed leans down to rub his nose against mine. “All right?”

“All right.” I’ll never forget, and I’ll never tire of hearing those words. “I love you, too.”

His smile reignites, and oh, wow, it’s like Cupid’s arrow through my heart. Killian is more than beautiful. He is life. The crystalline flecks in his eyes… there are eight. Eight is the atomic number for oxygen. Killian is my oxygen, the reason I breathe.

“Ready?” He lifts my hands to his mouth once more and traces his tongue between my knuckles.

 My stomach flips over. If not for Shells, Myriadians and Troikans would be unable to touch without agonizing pain. Usually Shells mute sensation. Today I feel everything.

 “Tell me what to do,” I rasp.

“Our word is our bond. Speak, and it’s done. We’ll pledge our lives tae each other. Simple, easy.”

As simple and easy as pledging our Everlife to one of the realms. Okay, I can do that. The simplicity doesn’t negate the difficulty, however. I’m giving my life—my future—to another person.

He raises his chin. “I’ll go first, aye.”

“Aye. I mean yes.” My heart thuds against my ribs, and I lick my lips.

When he releases my hands, panic invades. I’ve lost my anchor. Then he cups my face, holding me as if I’m more delicate than glass. “Tenley Nicole Lockwood, you’ve given me life beyond the grave. Until ye, I never knew the power of being connected tae another person. Ye saw the best in me even when I showed ye my worst. Ye trusted me when all evidence pointed tae my guilt. For that, I give ye my Everlife. Everything I am, everything I have, is yers.”

Hot tears well in my eyes, catching in my lashes. How am I supposed to match such a glorious pledge? Well, I have to try.

Nope. Troikans do not try. Troikans do. “Killian—” Zero! “I don’t know your middle name.”

“Niall.”

Killian Niall Flynn. Five Ls. Four Ns.

5 + 4 = 9

Killian Niall Flynn + Ten = 5 Ls and 5 Ns.

5 + 5 = 10

10 = existence. 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 = 10. (1) the FirstKing (2) the Secondkings (3) human life (4) the four elements: earth, air, fire and water.

Ten is completion: the end of one cycle, the beginning of another.

Concentrate!

Oops. My bad. I tend to lose myself in number trivia when I’m nervous. But there’s nothing to be nervous about, right? This is Killian. My Killian. Together, we can handle whatever comes next.

“Killian Niall Flynn.” I wrap my fingers around his wrists as I peer into his eyes. “You found me before the grave and taught me how to live. Until you, I’d known only disappointment and betrayal, but you picked me up every time I fell. You carried me when I was too weak to walk, and you put me first, even when it meant torture and possibly Second-death. For that, I give you my Everlife. Everything I am, everything I have, is yours.”

His expression softens, and I wish, so badly I wish, that my family and friends could witness our union. While my mother is in the Kennel, my father is training to be an ML. He hates me, anyway. My aunt Lina, his twin sister, is missing. No one knows where she is.

Lina can see into the future. As a child, she taught me a rhyme that aided my escape from Many Ends. Only a few weeks ago, she taught me a second rhyme, saving my life when a supposed friend—Victor Prince—attempted to kill me.

I frown. “I don’t feel any different.”

“We aren’t done.” Killian steps back, his arms falling to his sides. “Out of yer Shell, lass.”

I’m confused by the command, but still I obey. He steps from his Shell, as well, gifting me with the sight of two potential husbands. The inanimate Shell, and the spirit man—the real Killian. Usually darkness surrounds him, his own personal veil of smoke. Now the darkness is muted, but there’s no Light emanating from him, either.

He’s so much taller than me, I’m forced to look up, up, up. Scars circle his neck, proof of the pain he’s suffered throughout his Secondlife.

I reach out, intending to trace a fingertip along the raised flesh, but stop myself just before contact. “You’ve been a spirit all your life. Why didn’t you regenerate after you were injured?”

“Spirits are unable to regenerate fully until they reach the Age of Perfection. What you receive as a child, you keep.” He crooks his finger at me. “Come here. I’m goin’ tae kiss ye now.”

A kiss. Of course! A wedding always ends with a kiss.

I move toward him, eager, and he enfolds me in his muscular arms. His lips descend, claiming mine in our first spirit-kiss, no barriers between us, and he isn’t gentle about it. He’s demanding and possessive, pure masculine aggression, and I love every second.

Everything about him makes me think of forbidden nights and carnal indulgence.

I’m burning up rather than freezing as usual, pleasure consuming me, the pain I’m used to feeling nothing but a distant memory.

Realization: We can touch without consequence!

I melt into him, the rest of the world is forgotten as I luxuriate in the sweetness of his flavor.

Now the deal is sealed. This boy is now my husband. And this, our first kiss as a bonded pair, is everything I’ve ever dreamed and more. It’s—

A bolt of ice slams into me, tossing me across the cavern. I collide with the wall and slide to the ground, fighting for breath. Agony sears my right arm. Panting, I look down. Doubletake. An image appears in my flesh, as dark as ink and in the shape of…a horse?

The animal rests under the words Loyalty, Passion, Liberty.

Loyalty to my realm. Passion for the truth. Liberty for all.

The words appeared immediately after my Firstdeath. Actually, numbers appeared. The moment I figured out what those numbers represented, the words took their place.

Why a horse? There has to be a reason. There’s always a reason.

I rack my brain, but all I can come up with—Killian once likened me to a warhorse.

The warhorse paws fiercely, rejoicing in its strength, and charges into the fray. It laughs at fear, afraid of nothing; it does not shy away from the sword. The quiver rattles against its side, along with the flashing spear and lance. In frenzied excitement it eats up the ground; it cannot stand still when the trumpet sounds. At the blast of the trumpet it snorts, “Aha!” It catches the scent of battle from afar, the shout of commanders and the battle cry.

But I’m not here to fight him. I’m here to make peace. Unless…

The moisture in my mouth dries. Ready or not, a new battle is headed our way.

My vision goes hazy, and I moan. I am Light, and I’ve never needed to see more! Blinking rapidly helps, allowing me to search for Killian. The same terrible phenomena must have bombarded him, because he’s slouched against the opposite wall. When our gazes meet, he reaches in my direction, the numbers tattooed on his wrist visible.

143, 10. I love you, Ten.

Beneath the numbers I spy a new image. A horse. A match to mine, though his is white and mine is black.

His eyes are alight with…no, impossible! The flecks I so adore cannot be doused in literal flames, flickering with both light and shadow.

I need to get to him, now, but my muscles are like frozen blocks of ice. And the Grid—

The Grid! My connection to Troika, and a reminder that there is so much more to the world—to my world—than what I can see and feel at any given time.

Shadows dance along the Grid, where multiple doorways loom. Those doorways lead to rooms. In some, I’ve stored extra Light. Others provide a link to the conscious minds of different citizens. One in particular opens up to the Rest, where our dead spend eternity at peace.

A pang of homesickness strikes me. Meredith, Archer and Levi are there. I miss them desperately.

Radiating hatred, the shadows try to sneak into one room after another. I fight to keep the doorways closed as information bombards me. Darkness is measured by the absence of Light. These shadows, whatever they are, must have come from Killian, and our bond, and yet they are so familiar to me…as if they are old friends. How is that possible?

Doesn’t matter. Must…do…something. Now!

Left with no other choice, I change tactics and open a door to one of my storage rooms. In a vivid, dazzling rush, bright Light escapes. Shadows hiss, some dying the second they come into contact with a beam, others slithering away, and, oh, zero, sharp pains explode through my head, and I scream.

Can’t give up. Strengthen in the Light, die in the darkness.

Between one breath and the next, the pain leaves me, and a scene opens in my mind. A memory that is not my own.

I’m standing in a doorway, watching a young couple walk down the center of a hallway. There are thirteen children lined up beside me, all under the age of ten. The couple stops to question a little girl before dismissing her and moving on to a little boy. He, too, is dismissed. The next three children are ignored, but the couple pauses to inspect the teeth of the fourth.

Closer to me by the second…

I’m nervous. I would kill to have a family of my own—literally—but no one will look at me twice. What’s wrong with me? What do I lack?

Easy: absolutely everything.

Once, my superiors thought I was destined to become a General. Everyone wanted me, then. When I failed to develop the necessary skills, the want turned to disdain.

I try so hard, and I train harder than everyone else combined. I learned how to use a sword and every type of gun. Even the Stag and the Oxi, the most dangerous weapons in a Laborer’s arsenal. One day I’ll kill more Troikans than any General in our history. I vow it.

Just give me a chance. Please!

The couple is on the move again…so, so close to me…the woman looks me over and gives an almost imperceptible shake of her head before passing me, silent. My heart sinks, tears threatening to spill down my cheeks.

Me? Cry? Never! I keep my head high. If this family doesn’t want me, fine, I don’t want them, either. They aren’t good enough. I’m better off at the Learning Center, anyway.

The scene goes blank, and I—Ten—blink open my eyes. I’m back in the present, back in the cave, panting and drenched in sweat yet shivering with bone-deep chill. I was wrong. The pain didn’t subside; it ramped up.

The memory…it came from Killian. I know in my heart. Having died soon after his mother gave birth to him, he spent his childhood inside the Learning Center, a Myriadian orphanage.

Humans—both in flesh and spirit form—could be ugly in so many ways. Rotten inside. Vile and cruel. But they were also layered. Pull back the ugliness, and you might see a hurt. Pull back another layer, and you might see a child who used to crave approval, affection and acceptance.

A child like Killian had been. My husband has seen the worst the world(s) have to offer. I want so badly to hold him in my arms and comfort the boy he’d been, and praise the man he’d become.

My gaze seeks him. He’s on his back, pulling at his hair. Like me, he’s panting and drenched in sweat. But he’s muttering, “Kill, kill, kill.”

Kill…who? Is he seeing into my memories?

“I’m here,” I tell him. “I’m—”

My heart stops, stealing my words as a man and woman storm into the cave.

[globalworship]

America! America! To glory arise, Sing justice, sing freedom ... (new/old song)

Julia Carey inroduced a song with mostly new lyrics and an old melody. Here are the lyrics, plus notes, score snapshots and video recording. Julia wrote about it to the Hymn Society of North America ...

I wanted to share this hymn to America, which we premiered this past Sunday in our special "Voices of Justice" service which featured the Justice Choir Songbook.

Here’s a video of the performance:

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America! America! To Glory Arise Lyrics by Charles Coe Tune by Matilda T Durham America! America! To glory arise, Sing justice, sing freedom, and sing to the skies. Be always a beacon of welcoming light, Bring comfort to all on the darkest of nights Be always a land where the spirit may soar, Safe harbor and peace on a welcoming shore Where children are honored and guided with love, Protected and cherished as gifts from above Where trees in their splendor, so proud and so tall, Shall carpet the forest with gold in the fall; Where thunderous rivers shall nourish the land, With God’s bounty tended by proud farmers’ hands A bounty our neighbors shall always hold dear, The specter of hunger shall never draw near Then America shall truly her glory find, When her people are freed from want and worry’s bind. I woke from deep slumber and greeted the morn, Heard voices proclaiming a new day is born. A day when all people shall gather in song, I lifted my voice with the jubilant throng A choir of every possible hue, Proclaiming in voices so strong and so true America America! To glory arise, Sing justice, sing freedom, and sing to the skies. “America! America! To Glory Arise” is a very new (and very old) hymn to our country, with lyrics by Charles Coe, set to a 19th-century tune by Matilda T Durham, one of the first female hymn writers in America, and harmonized by me, Julia Scott Carey. It was premiered on Sunday, August 2nd, 2020, at the Central Square Congregational Church in Bridgewater, with me accompanying James Dargan, baritone, as part of our "Voices of Justice" service.

The full program is available here: https://youtu.be/PFdUZSXEhWs. The bulletin may be downloaded here, so you can see the titles and program notes: http://www.csccucc.org/mt-content/uploads/2020/07/oos-8.2.20.pdf

I love American music and history, and I spend many hours looking through old American hymnals searching for hidden treasures. I fell in love with Matilda T Durham’s virtually unknown hymn tune “Star of Columbia” the first time I played through it (Columbia is an obsolete nickname for our country, which is used in many old hymns). It’s powerful and yet lyrical, primarily pentatonic with soaring melodicism.

The original lyrics were written by Timothy Dwight IV, a president of Yale, as well as an author and minister. The lyrics had some lovely aspects, especially the opening line “America! America! To glory arise” (originally “Columbia” instead of “America”), which I loved because it was a call to action. However, the lyrics were also littered with gender stereotypes, American exceptionalism, and pro-colonialism. Furthermore, in spite of Dr. Dwight’s many accomplishments (and the fact that a residential college at Yale still bears his and his grandson’s names), I discovered that he owned a slave, and reading the original contract he wrote upon the purchasing of the slave was nauseating. I didn’t feel that his words could adequately express the seeking of glory by our country in this modern era.

I commissioned Charles Coe to write new lyrics for this hymn, keeping the opening line “America! America! To glory arise” as a tribute to the original, but exploring new ways our country could look towards glory in its future. I felt that the symbolism of replacing the words of a slaveholder with those of a contemporary Black American poet was emblematic of the search for glory in our country’s new awakening. 

Charles Coe’s brilliant and beautiful words capture the emotions of the original text, but with the hope and honesty of an America looking towards a new dawn in this turbulent new decade. His lyrics speak of the power of nature, the promise of our children’s tomorrows, the need for all people to be freed from want, and the search for unity. 

In the final verse, the poetry switches from the third-person description of the dream of America’s future, to a first-person description of the speaker waking to a world where choirs of all possible hues join their voices together. I can’t imagine any more meaningful words for Charles Coe to end his poem on, as it is my sincerest wish that we will all awake from this current dream, and find ourselves amongst diverse choirs lifting their voices to the skies, singing of the triumph of unity and equity and hope.

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About public use, Julia wrote, “If it’s a small non-profit concert or church service, it would be fine. If it ever got done at a big July 4th concert or something where royalties were an issue, contact me and David.”

The score is in 4 jpegs, start at https://www.facebook.com/photo?fbid=10112155211565381&set=pcb.10112155218880721

Here is the first page: