#gojo is so taylor swift in a lot of ways

[lulla-bee]

not TS releasing Haunted Taylor's Version when Gojo's past arc/jjk season 2 airs

[777gojosgf]

GOT LOVE-STRUCK WENT STRAIGHT TO MY HEAD…

777GOJOSGF IS TYPING…

777gojosgf: reader x satoru gojo modern!au

IN WHERE ::

reader and satoru do the kiss trend that’s been going around on tiktok.

a/note: the kiss trend is where it starts off with y/n applying lipstick but it smudged, satoru wipes it away but when the camera is moving to him it shows that his face is planted with kisses. not proofread and it’s quite short, sorry!

also, slut! by taylor swift (tv) coded

HE WAS THE ONE who persuaded you to follow the trend alongside him. satoru disagreed with your hardly noticeable interest in social media and openly flaunting your relationship to random online users. he says he loves taking pictures and videos so he can always look back on them later and that he wants to show you off to the world.

and besides, he knows you can’t say no his annoying smile.

“are you sure you want to do this? lipstick will be all over your face.” searching through your makeup bags for a red lipstick, you asked from the bathroom. satoru approached and pressed himself up against the door frame. his dishevelled white hair had come down so nicely on his head, and he had a dorky smile on his face. "if i ever say no to you kissing me, sweetheart. kill me, please.”

you laughed at that and walked over, planting a kiss on his cheek. “you always know the right answer.” before moving back to find the lipstick you just couldn’t seem to find. you heard his footsteps behind you, and before you had realized it, he had thrown you over his shoulder. holding you in a tight hold you giggled but still protested, “put me down ‘toru.”

“sorry, you were taking way too long. and the lipstick— was right here.” he answered, pointing at the cursed lipstick being next to the sink. you groaned in defeat and reached with giddy hands for the lipstick. he had to bite back a laugh and handed you the lipstick before moving you guys to the bedroom.

he’d laid down beside you after carefully placing you on the bed. he was able to rest his head on your lap and observe you applying the red lipstick while using your other hand to hold a tiny mirror. this brought back memories of all the other occasions he had delighted in observing you apply makeup. he thought you were gorgeous with or without, of course, but it was kind of adorable to see how much you enjoyed getting ready. there was a lot going on, and it was fascinating that you knew how to use every product. he had previously offered to assist you, claiming to be an expert at applying mascara.

well, spoiler alert. he wasn’t.

but it was of course the thought that counts.

despite everyone else’s claims, you knew one thing for sure.

in a world of boys, he’s a gentleman.

indeed, satoru made his typical boyish gestures. he wouldn’t be satoru if he hadn’t, but even so, he’s the warmest person you’ve ever met. he always knew how to take care of you; he would lift you when you were too exhausted to walk, offer you his shoes when your heels started to hurt, and remove your makeup when you got home from a difficult day at work.

you smirked, looking down at him with pursed lips. "now what should i do?" he pointed to his face and closed his eyes, flashing a grin. “now, you kiss me”

“alright,” you mumbled before planting a kiss on his forehead, slowly making your way down his face. though you purposely avoided his lips. he pouted at that and looked at you with those irresistible eyes of his. “patience is bliss, satoru.”

“yeah whatever,” he grumbled before lifting himself up and positioning himself with his back against the bed frame. he reached for your wrists and gently pulled you towards him, moving you onto his lap. your giggles filled the room and echoed down the hallway and satoru wouldn’t want it any other way. ever since you had entered his life, he had found a new light. someone to get up for everyday, to try and become the best version of himself because you deserved to be so loved.

though your personalities had somewhat been the opposite of each other, there was no denying that you guys were destined for each other. having grown up together, standing besides him all the time in high school, him being the one next to your seat in every class. where you went, he followed.

when you called, he would always be there.

something about the way that his entire face was filled with the print of your lips made you feel confident, he had seem even more handsome than usual. your confidence was shown when you teasingly made your way to his neck, earning a soft groan from him. “don’t be a tease, y/n.” his voice low, and the grin on your face widened. “it was your idea, was it not?” you commented innocently, but there was nothing innocent about the act.

he rolled his eyes dramatically at your smart remark.

once you finished kissing his face, he reached for his phone and opened up the app. your eyes widened at the 99+ notifications he had and you had come to the realization that your boyfriend was way more well known than you thought he was. something about that made you feel a bit jealous, as you were aware that 90% of his followers found him incredibly attractive. and there was no denying so. besides, it was out of his or your control so you tried not to make a big deal out of it.

but you were glad that it was satoru who came up with the idea to do the trend. it meant that he wanted to show you off and make it clear that he was taken.

or in his words, “locked 4 life.”

he started off the recording with you applying your lipstick, it being purposely smudged on one side. his thumb reached out to wipe away the lipstick, and as he did so, you turned the camera so that it would face him. his handsome face being filled with kisses, you smirked at that and leaned in to kiss him on the lips. a kiss he’s been waiting for the whole time getting ready.

after watching it a couple times— him commenting on how pretty you were— you were the one who clicked post and he turned off his phone.

“now,” he started, a mischievous grin on his face and you knew that it would be his time to get payback for you teasing him. effortlessly, he flipped you so that your back was against the soft mattress and he towered over you. your doe eyes followed his every move and your lips were parted slightly, he loved when you looked at him like that.

“the whole world knows that you’re mine. i guess i better prove it to you now too, princess.”

and so, your giggles reverberated throughout the space and corridor. you had filled his apartment —which once was empty and lifeless— with love and laughter. there were hints of you everywhere, memories haunting in every corner of every room.

he knew that the day you would become his wife, he would’ve made it in life.

[slexenskee]

👀 New surprise acoustic album coming up in a chapter near you~

I think we all know what spurred this surprise acoustic album this time 😂

Disenchanted - MCR, Regular | Acoustic

Stay Together For the Kids - Blink 182, Regular | Acoustic

Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls, Regular | Acoustic

How's It Going To Be - 3EB, Regular | Acoustic

All These Things That I've Done - The Killers, Regular | Acoustic

I chose these songs mostly on the regular versions, but some of them have pretty great acoustic versions ngl. I really like that Stay Together For the Kids and Disenchanted renditions, which I think use the real ripped vocals over acoustic instrumentals. And I actually prefer the Boyce Avenue version of Iris than the actual acoustic version from GGD. But for How's It Going To Be and All These Things I've Done, I really adore the originals, even if they lend themselves well to acoustic versions.

Also yes instead of talking about his feelings in a mature and calm manner, Gojo instead runs off and makes an album about it instead 😂 tbf using art as an outlet is actually a very healthy thing to do, but so is talking to your partner about your internal struggles.

But I find it very in character of him to struggle to put his own feelings into words, or rather, to express them outwardly and actually speak and vocalize them to others in a normal way, and turn to music instead. Unlike Hawks - who is more of an action guy and even in his POVs shows how he feels through his actions rather than introspective monologues - Gojo's actually your classic Tortured Poet (see what I did there lol) who has a lot of Thoughts™, even if he's horrible about expressing them and regularly ignores them. So in his own way, he's trying to communicate a lot through this album - to the whole world, but also to Hawks specifically.

Tbh this album is probably Gojo's most 'personal', or at the very least, as personal as you can get when you never wrote the songs to begin with lol. But idk, my millennial is showing here but there was always something so personal to making mixtape CDs for yourself or for others. You might not have wrote them, but it says a lot that you chose them to define yourself, you know?? Anyway I digress, moral of the story this is actually Gojo reaching out in his own way. And tbh, it's kind of a summary of his life too. A lot of times I pick songs for this fic mainly just because I like the way they sound, with no real meaning to them, and that's canon too as Gojo picks his songs for the Vibes™, but for this album noooope.

Disenchanted - Going to be crowned as the quintessential 'Dabi' song. Literally all about being a disenfranchised and disenchanted youth who sings away his angst and the chorus is 'If I'm so wrong, how can you listen all night long?' This is basically the summary of how sad teenage Dabi felt and why he turned to both music and villainy

Stay Together For The Kids - So on the nose it's not even funny, but I adore that guitar riff in the beginning. And while Gojo's parents didn't divorce in either of his lives, I still feel this resonating with him because of the way his youth was ruined by the adults who were supposed to love and care about him, in both lives. And yes, when the Endeavor reveal drops people are going to be questioning this song.

Iris - Yes, this is his pining song. First for Suguru, but then takes on a new meaning with Hawks. Yes, it turns all the Sixwings fans into a sobbing mess every time. Really though more than being a love song about either Suguru or Hawks, this is hi trying to convey his own feelings with lines like 'yeah you bleed just to know you're alive'/'when everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am'

How's It Going To Be - Known to Sixwings fans as the 'breakup/makeup' song. Like yeah it's about Sixwings breaking up, but it's also Ru-kun shouting to the world that he wants to get Hawks back. It becomes infamous for it. When No Scrubs finally goes on their massive Taylor Swift Era's-esque tour he'll play this and Iris back to back and have the whole stadium bawling. Ngl this is my favorite 3EB song, so it had to go in this fic somewhere. I love how it starts mainly soft and acoustic and at the climax the full band kicks in and Stephan Jenkins just starts belting 'I wanna get myself back into you, the soft dive of oblivion'

All These Things That I've Done - If Disenchanted is Dabi looking back on his life/past and all the anger and sadness he sees there, then the final track on the album is about coming to terms with himself and trying to accept who he is, and look towards the future. Huge theme for he next arcs/final fic in this series. I actually always thought the line was 'these changes ain't changing me, the gold-hearted boy I used to be'... but it's actually cold-hearted, which kinda totally changes my narrative for this song so I'm pretending it's gold-hearted 😂

[nightwalker6200]

Dad Gojo Headcannons:

I know the timelines/ ages are messed up with quite a few but I love little kid Meg and Tsumiki: I'll post more as I think of them :)

Gojo almost always has glitter or stickers somewhere on his clothes/ person. He normally doesn't notice and can go the whole day with a cat sticker or blue glitter on his back/ pant leg.

Gojo once handed back a report that Tsumiki had drawn all over. Yada keeps it tucked away in his desk.

Tsumiki and Megumi drew all over several graded papers (accidently) that Gojo then handed back. Inumaki, Maki, Yuta and Panda hung them up on their walls in the dorms.

Inumaki and Yuta are no longer allowed to babysit Tsumiki and Megumi. Yuta ended up being the responsible adult (basically babysitting 3 kids), and Inumaki ended up with a makeover. He wore the makeup for three days straight until Maki ended up dragging him to the baths, demanding he take a bath because he looked like a sadistic clown who just broke up with their boyfriend.

Gojo knows how to do hair. He practiced on Shoko despite her complaints and can braid neatly.

Tsumiki likes to paint nails and uses Gojo as a test subject when he's asleep - once during a fight, a villian had to stop because they couldn't take Gojo seriously with bright purple nails.

Gojo is surprisingly a good cook. He failed horrendously at first but learned from Shoko, Nanamin, and even Tsumiki. He quickly learned how to make the kids' favorite dishes.

Gojo knows all of the gossip at school and constantly gossips with Tsumiki about her classmates. Tsumiki always has the dets/ drama/ tea.

Tsumiki likes to be close to someone when she's upset or sick or hurt. Megumi only likes to be close if he feels really bad.

Gojo almost always has candy on him, something Inumaki and Panda take advantage of (he's used to stopping bickering between the kids so he throws it at any problem).

Megumi is the hardest to put to bed. He sneaks around, finding new ways to try to stay up past his bedtime and around the Six Eyes.

Gojo has a lot of guilt over Tsumiki's accident. He tears up almost every time he visits her and spent a week drunk after it had happened. He gave her permission to go (even though she would have gone anyway being a teenager) and feels as though he failed at his promise to protect her.

The first time Tsumiki took a boy to the school dance; Megumi and Gojo stood at the door, arms crossed, staring menacingly at the boy until Tsumiki was ready to leave. Gojo might have threatened him... Megumi might have summoned his dogs, who stood at his side, growling.

Gojo has millions of pictures on his phone of the kids, including his students.

Gojo gets squeamish over pulling out Megumi's loose teeth. Tsumiki always has to do it for him, or Megumi will rip it out, mouth full of blood.

Despite his protests, Gojo showed up to every classroom visitation Megumi had in elementary school. He went to Tsumiki's too (who was over the moon).

Gojo once paid a kid money to stop crying. The kid was probably Yuuji.

When Tsumiki has nightmares, she will loudly barge into Gojo's room whereas Megumi will stand quietly at the foot of the bed or side of the bed and wait until Gojo notices him. Gojo has almost punched the 8-year-old several times.

Tsumiki begs Gojo to read to her or tell her stories when they have down time. Megumi lurks in the hall, at the end of the couch or in the shadow, listening. He secretly likes it just as much as his sister.

Gojo knows all the lyrics to all of the Taylor Swift songs. He finds himself humming them at random, and him and Miki sing them loudly in the car to annoy Megumi.

Megumi and Tsumiki got lice from school. Gojo freaked and spent three days with his hair under a shower cap and hat despite Shoko telling him he didn’t have it. He even begged Nanamin to let him sleep over. Megumi threaten to master a louse as a shikigami to freak Gojo out.

Megumi tries to sneak attack/ scare Gojo at random. Tsumiki is the only one who has succeeded.

Gojo playing Barbie or stupid things like store or restaurant. He’s very dramatic and almost always asks to speak to the manager who is Gumi. Gumi tells him to piss off and never come back.

[mayumiiyuu]

“and that’s the way I loved you.”

how your relationship with different anime men would be like, categorized by mother Taylor Swift’s song :)

tw: none, unless u count a lil toxic relationship snippets in ‘screaming and crying and kissing in the rain’

“you look beautiful tonight.”

loving him is easy. these men think the world of you, partly because to them, you are their world. expect flowers from them on any occasion, or sometimes just because. an absolute gentleman through and through, would rather die than be the reason why you cry. always there to listen to you when you’ve had a hard day, always remains patient & understanding; the type to hold onto your waist in a busy crowd to guide you through. he’s always so gentle with you, always showers you with compliments but is still honest. when you fight he always tries to remain levelheaded, he never takes out his anger on you. he makes a lot of effort for you, your parents greatly approve of him, overall such a loving and kind man who rarely ever does wrong by you.

jjk: nanami, choso, YUUJI, todo, inumaki, YUUTA, kokichi

haikyuu: HINATA, akaashi, OSAMU!!!, aran, daichi, asahi, nishinoya, kuroo, iwaizumi!!, tendou, TANAKA, kita!!!!, SUGAWARA!!

tokyo rev: draken, mitsuya, hakkai, inui, souya, shinichiro!!

naruto: NARUTO!!, itachi, gaara, shino, kiba!!

bnha: midoriya!!!!, iida, KIRISHIMA!!!, mirio, tamaki, natsuo

“screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain.”

loving him is complicated. there are days when he makes you smile and laugh so hard your ribs get taut, but there are also days where he leaves you feeling cold. when there are good times they’re the best you’ve ever experienced, when there are bad times they might be the worst. in a fight, he can be mean and blunt, he’ll brush you off and distance himself from you, sometimes you wonder if he’ll ever really open up to you; but through it all he’s there, apologies and gifts in tow to make it up to you. you’re the only person he thinks he’ll ever try to be good for, but there are times when he slips up. the love he has for you is so immense to the point where it scares him, which is why he acts the way he does. sometimes he thinks if he pushes you away enough you’ll find someone better for you. he can be hot and cold with you, one moment he’s sweet and loving and caring, the next he’s distant and resentful and irritable. your friends and family see you guys break up and make up all the time. overall loves you more than anything or anyone else in the world, but struggles with his feelings for you.

jjk: geto, gojo, TOJI???, sukuna

haikyuu: oikawa, kageyama, kunimi, TSUKISHIMA, atsumu, suna(?), daishou

tokyo rev: MIKEY, kazutora, ran, rindou, kokonoi, sanzu, BAJI, hanma, IZANA, shion

naruto: SASUKE, shikamaru huhu, neji (at first), sasori, obito, madara, kakuzu, hidan

bnha: FUCKING DABI/TOUYA, shigaraki, bakugou, keigo

[meo-on-prairie]

Pulmonaria

Gojo Satoru x Reader

Prompt: “You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love // The slowest way is never loving them enough”

Words count: 2844

Tags: ANGST, SO MUCH ANGST, fluff if you take out the James Webbs Space telescope, pain train all the way, not a happy ending, mention of blood and death, idiot to lovers a little too late, it’s not happy, highschool au, hanahaki au

Rambling: if you see this fic as “Pulmo flower” this is the revamp of that lmao, I posted it years ago and deactivated my entire account cuz i was insecure about my creativity, but i’m working on that. By re-releasing what I think is my proudest work. Please listen to “High Infidelity - Taylor Swift” and “Heather - Conan Gray” for this fic. 

/////

XX03 Daisy: innocence 

He gave me a Daisy when we first met— a wildflower he picked at the entrance of the playground, shoving it in my face as I sat on the swing. Grinning from ear to ear when he asks, “will you be my friend?”. And every birthday from then on, without fail, Daisies would be shoved to my face. Those damn Daisies occupied my lungs, took my breath away. 

XX09 Sunflower: unconditional love 

We’re inseparable, attached by the hip. It’s easier to count the times where we’re not together. I don’t know when it started, but he became my air, although sometimes it was hard to breathe, it’s hardest to breathe when he isn't near. The pressure in my chest became so great that it often forced out violent coughing fits. They are often violent and painful, sometimes unbearable, they feel like my lungs are trying to force something out that is incapable beyond reach. Until one day, those violent coughs forced me into unconsciousness. 

White. The first color that I saw when I opened my eyes. Cold and harsh white of the hospital room. the color white, it’s in everything I hate. White is the color of the hospital room glaring at me mockingly, laughing at the fact that I have a weak body. White is the color of snow signaling the arrival of winter and the freezing uncomfortable cold. White is also the color of his stupid hair, a painful reminder of someone I can never have. I hate the painful white color. 

But maybe the color white isn’t so bad if it allows yellow to shine so brightly. The Sunflowers on the table caught my attention from the corner of my eyes, the flowers warmed up the whole room instantly, funny how a speck of yellow can warm up the cold white room. The small note of the familiar handwriting attached to one of the flowers makes the flowers shine even brighter. "Get well soon! :( love and miss you a lot ~ Satoru". Slowly, painfully, I can feel the sunflowers blooming, occupying another space in my lungs, making it harder to breathe, especially without him. 

XX11 Cornflower: young love

Legend has it that Cornflowers were worn by young men in love; if his love was returned they would remain bright and fresh, if not they would wither away quickly. He gave me Cornflowers during freshmen orientation. Everything about cornflowers was annoying, the color was too bright and it hurt my eyes. It's a weak flower and dies easily, withering in two days. It reminded me of how similar I am to it, weak and annoying; both wither away when our love is not returned. But at the same time, it gave me hope… 

“Why Cornflowers?”

“They just look bright and pretty, something vibrant for a new chapter in our life right?”

“Right… of course.” 

Of course, there wouldn’t be any deep meaning to them. Hope is for fools.

XX14 Heather: admiration

November brings around the freezing cold of winter, I have always disliked the cold, it made breathing harder than it already was. When the bell for lunch rang, I quickly packed my bag to go meet up with Satoru, Suguru, and Shoko at the cafeteria.

To my surprise, Satoru wasn’t with them. The three of us went to get food anyway since all the good foods will be all gone if we’re late to the line. Satoru arrived at the cafeteria a few minutes later, with an unfamiliar girl trailing behind him. 

“Sorry I was late, I was trying to convince someone to join us” he explained quickly before turning his body sideways, “We got paired together for a project for Physics, she just moved here so be nice to her.”

“Hi, I’m Areum” she spoke softly, her shyness written all over her face. She was absolutely gorgeous, the soft curls of her long hair framed her face perfectly. She has a small figure, the clearly oversized sweater she’s wearing made her look adorable, a sight for sore eyes. Compared to her I’m not even half as pretty.

“Hello Areum, I’m Suguru, I see you’re wearing Satoru’s sweater,” he said with a smirk, clearly enjoying the blush that quickly appeared on both Satoru’s and Areum’s faces. 

“S-She looked like she was about to freeze over in that room alright?!” Satoru defended hotly. 

“Sure thing buddy” Shoko joined Suguru on the teasing-Satoru-bandwagon before smiling at Areum, “My name is Shoko, by the way!”

I reached my arms out to flick Suguru and Shoko on their forehead, “stop teasing the poor girl!”

“Hi Areum, I’m Y/n, Satoru’s childhood friend, sorry you got stuck with that doofus for a Physics project of all thing” I joked, offering her a gentle smile while ignoring Satoru’s pouty complaints of something along the line of he’s not that bad at Physics.

Areum let out a shy giggle at my comment before sitting down to join our table. The four of us quickly settled into a comfortable atmosphere as we got to know Areum better, asking her the reason for her transfer so late into the school year, among other things. 

The entire time, Satoru’s eyes never strayed away from Areum’s face. His smile got wider every time she laughed. His gaze toward her made my stomach somersault and me feeling nauseous. They’re the same gazes I had toward him. It slowly gets harder to breathe as pressure builds up in my throat. I forced the cough that threatened to escape down, I was probably overthinking it anyway. 

But that feeling of nausea never went away. It only gets worse as the week comes and goes, especially when almost all of the conversations between me and Satoru had always led to her. I started to see him less and less since he always declined invitations to hang out with: “Sorry, I promised Areum that I would study Physics with her.”

Ever since Areum joined our little group, she got Satoru mesmerized. They’re practically attached by the hip, never one without the other. It was suffocating to see them together all the time. But how could I hate her? She was an absolute angel. Always speaking softly and gently, always kind to everyone around her. Hell, she noticed whenever I started to struggle for air when no one else did. I wish I could hate her even just a little bit, maybe then it wouldn’t be as painful.

XX15 Rose: romance  

February 14th, probably the most annoying day of the year. The school ground is littered with pink and red, people carrying flowers, balloons, chocolate, and stuffed animals in different sizes around, blocking up the already crowded hallway. 

Some couples walk around, others busy sucking each other face off in a corner, and god knows what some of those freaks are doing in the bathroom stalls. I wish this day would be over already, everything is suffocating. I make my way through the hoard of people professing their undying love to each other in the schoolyard. Finally, I reached my first-period class, reaching my hand out to tug open the door when I heard my name being called. I turned around to see Satoru with one hand waving in the air like a madman and the other carrying a single pink rose. 

“Y/n! Hi!” He greeted me after coming to a stop in front of me.

“Good morning to you too, Satoru,” I said with a smile.

He shoved the pink rose he’s holding to my face with the bunny smile gracing his lips, “Happy Valentine’s Day!”

I guess some old habits die hard after all, “Thanks, Satoru” I chuckled lightly as I accepted the flower. 

We stood there for what felt like forever until he started, “Y/n, so I----” the bell ring cutting Satoru off.

“Shit, gotta go, my first class is on the opposite side of campus, I’ll see you after school okay? Bye Y/n” He said quickly before running off. 

What was he about to say? Curse that damn bell, I swear that thing has the worst timing. I look down at the pink flower. The pink petals look soft and fluffy, a small pink rose starts to bloom in my lungs along with budding of hope. “No Y/n, you idiot, didn't you say that hope is for fools? Stop it before you get hurt!”. But I know it's already too late, I can't seem to control the smile that's growing on my lips and the fluttering of butterflies in my stomach. 

Maybe... Just maybe... he feels the same way. Maybe I was wrong about his feelings toward Areum. After all, he gave me a rose, the one flower that shouted “love” louder than any other flowers. This could be my chance to tell him how much he means to me. Suddenly, Valentine’s day became the most exciting day of the year. Bringing the rose closer to my nose, I can't wait to see him after school...

When the last bell signaling the end of the day rang, I practically bolted out of the room to meet Satoru at our usual spot. Excitement filled my body, I felt lighter than ever, but also nervous at the same time.

I arrived at the schoolyard to see a huge group of people crowding around in a circle blocking the way to our usual spot. I rolled my eyes as I prepared mentally to push through the crowd. 

With great difficulty, I started to join the crowd and maneuvered myself through the hoard of people while repeating "excuse me" over and over again. Eventually, I reached the other side of the human barrier, I breathed deeply and prepared to do it once again before looking up. The sight that greeted me when I looked up filled me with dread. My stomach dropped and I felt nauseous. The flowers in my lungs are multiplying, making it harder to breathe. I can feel my heart tighten up in my chest. 

Standing in the middle of the circle of people is Satoru, holding a bouquet of red roses, looking as handsome as when I last saw him. Light pink coating his cheeks, there is nervousness in his eyes as he stands in front of Areum, who is having both hands covering up half of her face. Surprises grace her beautiful form. Standing behind them are Shoko and Suguru, they're both holding up a giant sign that reads "will you be my Valentine?" with a glittery cursive font. Both of their faces show excitement as they look at Satoru and Areum. 

I held my breath as I prayed for whatever deity above for her to say no. Unfortunately, they seem to hate me with a burning passion. I watch as she nods slowly before exclaiming "yes!". I watch as Satoru lets out a sigh and then smiles brightly. The same smile that can light up the whole room. The same smile that makes me fall hopelessly in love with him. I watch them walk toward each other as people around them cheer loudly. I watch as Satoru shyly gives Areum the rose and she accepting them just as shyly. I watch as they embrace each other with wide smiles gracing their lips and people hollering and wolf-whistling around them. 

I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. The flowers are multiplying too quickly, filling up my lungs, making it almost impossible to breathe. I need to get out of here. I turned around abruptly, forcing my way through the crowd of people. Once I'm out of the circle, I break into a sprint. I ran and ran and ran and ran. I don't know where, I just want to be as far away from that crowd as possible. My lungs were burning from the lack of oxygen, but I kept running until I could no longer hear the cheering of people and dropped down to the ground. 

I tried inhaling to no avail. It hurt so much. Every time I try to inhale or exhale it would feel like needles are being scraped against the walls of my lungs. It's painful, no, fuck that, it's torturous, everything hurt like hell, the pain is agonizing. It makes me want to rip out my heart and lung and throw them far away to ease the pain in my chest. 

Pressure slowly builds up in my throat and it gets itchier and itchier forcing me to let out a cough. That cough is followed by another one, and another one, and another one until I'm coughing uncontrollably. My body doubled over and shook violently as I wheezed for air. I covered my mouth with my hands as I coughed into them. I choked violently before I felt wetness on my hands. 

I pulled my hands away from my face and looked down on them, holding back another cough. In my hand, a pool of blood and flower petals. The warm yellow of sunflowers, the cold white of daisies, and the gentle pink of roses are being dyed by the red of blood. Tears blurring my vision as I throw myself into another coughing fit. More blood was forced out of my body along with more flower petals. 

Suddenly my lungs started to burn even more. I cough harshly as something bigger than the petals force its way out of my throat and onto the floor, joining the existing puddle of blood. A pink rose. Soon enough the more flowers and blood forced their way out of my body to join the puddle of blood under me where the rose and flower petals lie. It hurts like hell with each cough, but... It became easier and easier to breathe after each time. 

When the last daisy fell into the pool of blood, the coughing fit stopped. The burning stopped along with the pain in my chest. The numbness I felt was almost exhilarating. My body felt lighter than ever, it felt like I was floating on clouds. I take in a deep breath and slowly exhale as darkness takes over me. 

XX16 Tiger Lily: “Please love me”

A figure of a man holding a bouquet walks silently toward the cemetery. His lean frame is adorned with a thick jacket to protect him from the harsh cold of winter, his form feels lonely as if a part of him is missing, gone from this world completely. The sun is setting over the horizon, coloring the sky in bright orange and pink. But Satoru couldn't care less, his world has lost all of its colors a while ago. The beauty of this world only appears dull to him, nothing can be pretty in a world without her. 

He walks solemnly through the cemetery, passing by the countless headstones. Until he reached one in particular. The headstone looks relatively new compared to the ones surrounding it. The writing on it read: "Y/n, XX97 - XX15, 'Loving you silently'". 

Satoru kneels in front of Y/n's grave as tears slowly spill from his eyes, blurring his vision. He placed the bouquet of Tiger Lilies in front of her grave, joining the other flowers that were already there from visitors earlier that day. He sat there regretfully silent as tears spilled from his eyes. 

"Hey Y/n, How have you been?" he greets.

"I hope you’re doing well.” He lets out a forced chuckle, "Everyone has been missing you. Especially your mom, she cried everyday for months after you’re gone. She has been doing better now though, so you don't have to worry too much, I’ll take care of her in your stead."

Satoru let out a shaky breath as more tears spilled out from his eyes, “I miss you every damn day, I miss you so much that it’s hard to breathe. Fuck, I can’t look at daisy flowers without crying anymore!"

“I miss your smile that brightened up the whole room. I miss your eyes that held the universe. I miss your comforting voice” he said while choking up as tears fell harder from his glistening blue eyes, "But more than anything, I miss you who felt like home...”

“I’m sorry for being an idiot and realizing when it was already too late, you deserve so much better than my pathetic self” He sobs pitifully.

Satoru sat there with his back hunched over as tears fell endlessly from his eyes. At that moment, he looks small and fragile, as if we would break from a single touch. With each passing minute, it got harder and harder for him to breathe. His lungs begin to burn as the pressure slowly builds up in his throat, forcing him to violently cough up flower petals and blood. When the coughing fit died down, he pulled out a handkerchief to wipe the blood off of his lips. Slowly, he stood back up before glazing at the headstone longingly. 

“I’ll see you soon, Y/n,” he whispered with a bitter smile as he began to walk away.

[rintarousgirl]

jjk characters as taylor swift love songs

PART ONE

a/n: these are all the adult characters that i chose, and the next part will be the current students!

suguru getou / invisible string

"hell was the journey, but it brought me to heaven"

there was a time in suguru's life where he thought he wouldn't be able to recover from the pressing darkness clouding his mind. waking up each day managed to be a chore, and staying awake was even harder. trying to remain strong and positive took too many tolls on him, and yet you came. you were a shine of gold light in his small rotting cottage, holding the piece of invisible string that tied your pinkies together. you gave him your honey-sweet smiles and looked up at him with those beautiful sparkling eyes that promised a future better than anything he could've wished for.

nanami kento / call it what you want

"you don't need to save me, but would you run away with me"

kento knew he'd live a desired life. an easy one. he worked his hours, got paid for his hours, got home and took his rest and the next day he'd repeated. you were unexpected, unplanned. you'd waltzed into his office job, holding coffees and smiling, and kento knew you were the person he wanted to live beside. even if it meant throwing away jujutsu society and everything he worked for. he'd take your hand, shoulder all your burdens, go out of his way to make sure your life was easy if it meant keeping you.

gojo satoru / daylight

“i don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you, i don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you”

satoru knows he doesn’t have a lot of things in life. he’s the number one sorcerer, he can’t be selfish. but when it comes to you? there’s nothing he wants more but to be by your side. satoru would move heaven and earth to be with you. no elders, no curse could stop him. everyday he was graced by you, and he never wanted it to stop. you saved him. you kept him from the crooked path of corruption. you kept his heart full, healthy. in sickness and in health, as he’d call it. satoru vows that if theres ever a day he’s not with you, he must be dead.

choso / mine

“you made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter, you are the best thing that's ever been mine”

choso knew better than to break your heart. he was smarter than that, he loved you more than that. he had to be careful, made sure your love was just as strong as his, before he could take you. he didn’t want any doubt, because he knows there are much better men out there, begging for your attention. but they couldn’t hold a dime to his love. they couldn’t treat you the way he could, worship you the way he could. his love was unmatched, and on top of that, you were his. “mine,” he’d whisper, and you’d hum. “yours,” you agree.

toji fushiguro / dress

“only bought this dress so you could take it off, take it off, carve your name into my bedpost, ‘cause I don't want you like a best friend”

toji knew it was wrong, he’d be stupid not to. he shouldn’t have let the pathetic maid from the zen’in clan follow him that night he escaped. you were dead weight. but toji still found himself draping his jacket over your shoulders when you shivered, and breathing hot air into your hands. he still found himself paying for your food, and buying you small things you mentioned in passing. he still found himself wrapped around you, his lips pressing against yours in the dark hours of the night. in the morning, it’d be fine. you’d be the pathetic person who followed him around all day. there would be no touches, no lingering glazes. he wouldn’t care for you like that, even though he desperately wanted to.

ieiri shoko / sparks fly

“my mind forgets to remind me you're a bad idea, you touch me once and it's really something”

shoko knows she isn’t perfect. she knows her sleep schedule is horrible, and that most of her attention is divided between med school and getting a new pack of cigs. but once she saw you, she couldn’t stop noticing you. your bright smiles, beautiful laughter. shoko wanted to be on the receiving end of all of it. she wanted to be the one who brightened up your day, and kissed your lips till you were breathless. even if she was the worst option, the option that couldn’t give you what you wanted. she wanted you, and that should make up for it right?

[seiwas]

Sel how long is your tbr list ? And which fic(s) are looking forward to read the most ?

nonie hello!!! 🥹 my tbr rn is at ~150 🥲😭 (i put them in my drafts!! and i have huge backlog bc i just recently got off a reading ban while writing 'these traces of love, they outline you' 🥹)

listing some hehe this is gonna be long so i'll put it under the cut!!! (in no particular order of preference but it's categorised by anime & character)

am sure there are so many more i'm probably missing/weren't able to see yet tho!!

for jjk

intrinsic warmth by thatdesklamp (series, ongoing, gojo satoru) been wanting to read this for a while but just trying to find the time to!

godmaker by @firein-thesky (series, ongoing, gojo satoru) has been in my tbr for the longest time and every time i see cielo talk abt it i get itching to read it hsajhdfbj

[untitled 'halloween' fic] by @stellamancer (one-shot, gojo satoru) not yet out but niku's been working really hard on this and am so excited hehehe

and i'm asking you to hold me just like the morning paper by @selarina (one-shot, gojo satoru) older brother's best friend gojo; am such a sucker for long titles and older brother's bsf tropes! i also love rina v much!

bfb by @em1e (series, ongoing, kamo choso) best friends's older brother choso; emmie shared the idea and some scenes with me when she was conceptualising it and it was the final push that tipped me over to being a choso fucker

chaos theory by @/hawnks (one-shot, nanami kento) strangers to lovers nanami; op wrote one of my favourite gojo fics ever, cantor’s paradox!!

as it should have been by @k9nto (one-shot, nanami kento) friends to lovers nanami; tallulah always talks about how much fun she had writing this so i'm excited to get to this too!

let me out, i'm starving by @princess-okkotsu (one-shot, okkotsu yuuta) fwb!yuuta; aleks tipped me over to being a yuuta fucker and the idea of an fwb!yuuta with the way aleks characterises him is just soo ouuuuGHH

all of @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat's new fics!! i have so many of ari's fics to catch up on!! but characterisation is always on point and the writing always feels like a movie!! (there are gojo, megumi, and yuuta ones afair!!)

every time @augustinewrites drops smth!! the fushigojos live in my mind but augustine's doing an anniversary event rn themed after taylor swift lyrics!! and the line-up looks so good!!

inez's @itadorey masterlist still have yet to do a sweep of inez's masterlist but i always find myself smiling reading her stuff!! (lot of gojo!!)

lin's @threadbaresweater older stuff while going thru lin's masterlist i saw a gojo fic and nanami fic i'm excited to read!! lin always writes with a certain kind of vulnerability that digs deep!!

for bnha

something just like this by @/ofmermaids (series, complete, midoriya izuku) i've been wanting to get to this for so so long. op wrote some of my favourite bakugo fics, surrender (whenever you're ready) + on my way (to you); this almost feels like a reward i'm saving for when i really have the time tbh

you had only to look at me by @willowser (series, complete, bakugo katsuki) childhood bff!bakugo; i read this a long time ago but willow reposted it and i am!! so excited to read it again!!!

nitroglycerine by @/alrightberries (one-shot, bakugo katsuki) kind of fwb!bakugo; the description/summary got to me omg and am such a sucker for fwb to lovers and the weird in-between

like real people do by @shibaraki (one-shot, todoroki shouto) strangers to friends to lovers; this has been in my tbr for so long too and can't wait to get to it bc i love the way monty writes shouto!!

the glass delusion by @shibaraki (series, on-going, todoroki shouto) touch-starved shouto; i read the first installment and am such a sucker for explorations of intimacy!! so am so excited for this one too!!

i'll find my way (back to you) - homecoming by @bluebird-in-the-breeze (side story of a series, complete, todoroki shouto) chef!reader; read the entire series and loved it!! i love birdie's writing and was so happy that she recently released this for the series's 1 year anniversary!!

i think i'm in love with my coworker (update) by @todorosie (one-shot, todoroki shouto) coworker shouto; the title alone had me so curious omg and i love the tone of sorin's spidey!gojo series so am excited to get to this too!!

fill my little world (right up) by @shibaraki (one-shot, aizawa shouta) single dad au; such a sucker for this au!! and am also really selective with the aizawa stuff i read but always love monty's!!!

the kids are gonna be alright by @shibaraki (one-shot, aizawa shouta) coworkers to lovers; i love the premise of this so much!! i love these kinds of explorations and idk!! again!! i am a shibaraki stan!! i love everything monty writes hjsdbgjfs i've been really wanting to go through monty's entire masterlist too!! (there's a lot of writing to feast on and no matter who it is i think monty always writes em well)

andie's @andypantsx3 entire masterlist!! andie has soooo many stuff i want to read i can't even single one out omg i never feel the length when i read andie's stuff!!

for hq!!

the burden of being by @sashimiyas (one-shot, miya osamu) amnesia au; this has been in my drafts for so long too bc i'm still afraid of reading it but reina writes some of my fave hq fics so am excited to sink my teeth into this!! honestly am also excited to go thru reina's entire masterlist + osamu masterlist!!

get him back by @noosayog (one-shot, miya osamu) fake dating osamu; fake dating is one of my fave tropes and i also love noos's writing!! osamu is also my comfort character... so all of this just speaks to me

cross check by @kagelun (series, on-going, iwaizumi hajime) hockey player!iwaizumi; my god i'll read anything iwa anyway but to have him be an athlete for a completely different sport... just does smth to my brain... also kit has the most insane iwa thoughts i'm excited for this

seasons by @mintmatcha (one-shot, hanamaki takahiro) friends to lovers; love mint's stuff and am trying to get into makki more lately so i can fully immerse into seijoh4!! also really love a friends to lovers any day

one, two, and... (onlyfans) by @mintmatcha (one-shot, hanamaki takahiro + matsukawa issei) was sooo excited for this when mint announced they were working on it omfg literally vibrating w excitement to get to this

for multi

leah's @missmeinyourbones new stuff not sure if they're new or just being resurfaced but i see leah rb some of her stuff and am so excited to get to each one asbfj so i might actually just do a masterlist sweep atp... (she's one of my fave writers fr)

[vrisrezis]

hey y’all more geto song fic

Song is mr perfectly fine by Taylor swift

Slight gojo x reader (again) because yea I like pain everywhere

Also nsfw (reader is dom/top) reader doesn’t have a specified gender but definitely has a dick so amab LMFAO

Kinda cheating on gojo but not really cuz they’re just fwb that go on some dates (but not officially dating) so eeee lol

Mr. “Perfect face”

Mr. “Here to stay”

Mr. “Looked me in the eye and told me you would never go away”

He was perfect.

Maybe you were being dramatic, surely you must be. Nobody’s perfect after all. Maybe you were so blinded by love, it was what you truly believed. Even if he teased you, he never went too far, never said anything he knew you were sensitive about. And if he ever did, he apologized. He was kind, he listened to you vent, he made you smile, he made you laugh.

He promised you the world. He promised you he’d never leave you, and naturally you believed him. You don’t think you were stupid to believe him. You think that at the time, he had meant it. There had been so many times you had pushed him away in fear of loving him, in fear you’d end up hurt again.

And he backed up his words everytime, even when you were so cruel he was so kind. He still was there for you even when you hurt him. And eventually, because of his dedication and his loyalty, you let him in.

Everything was right.

Mr. “I’ve been waiting for you all my life”

Mr. “Every single day until the end, I will be by your side”

It felt right to let him in. For the first time in your life you didn’t feel guilt for doing so. You never once doubted his love, his loyalty. You trusted him whole heartedly. And you don’t think you were wrong to do so, even now.

Because at the time, he had not planned on betraying that trust.

At the time, it felt as though you had finally found the one. You typically don’t believe in that stuff, but he made it feel like it was real. Like soulmates were real. He was meant to be yours and you were meant to be his.

You were young, but you knew you were in love.

You stupidly thought you’d be together for the rest of your days.

But that was when I got to know Mr. “change of heart”

Mr. “Leaves me all alone” I fall apart

And then, everything changed. Getou Suguru, the man you loved, betrayed the jujutsu sorcerers, including yourself. Killing an entire village that included his own parents.

The man that claimed the strong should always protect the weak, the man that claimed he loved humanity, the man that claimed all that death and destruction is meaningless, it felt gross thinking about it now. What had changed?

You didn’t know, you almost didn’t care.

He leaves, without much of a goodbye. The last time you see him, gojos yelling at him as he walks away.

You fail to miss the hurt in his eyes as he sees you glare at the sight of him, before turning away from the both of them, as if not wanting to watch the two of them any longer.

He fails to miss how much he destroyed you that day.

It takes everything in me just to get up each day

But it’s wonderful to see that you’re okay

Getou eventually starts his own cult. Continuing with his new life, without you in it. He seems to have moved on from you. It hasn’t been too long, but you haven’t been able to be yourself. You know Gojo isn’t much better, but at least he can function as a human being.

You can barely get out of bed anymore.

You sleep the whole day away despite the fact you went to bed as early as 8. You’ve come to understand that this is just one of the signs of depression. You hate what getou has turned you into.

Gojo visits a lot, trying to be there for you. You wish you could be there for him, but he tells you not to worry about it.

Hello, Mr. “Perfectly fine”

How’s your heart after breaking mine?

You bitterly wonder how he’s doing. If he ever thinks of you the way you think of him.

You don’t know if you’ll ever be able to trust anyone again. You want to. But you just don’t think you can, especially not so soon.

Maybe a part of you just misses being able to confide in someone.

Mr. “Always at the right place at the right time”

Baby

Hello Mr. “casually cruel”

Mr “everything revolves around you”

You finally find it in you to take on missions for jujutsu sorcery again. You’re strong, but even Yaga knows given your mental state you should not be taking on big time curses.

Just when you think, maybe you’ll be okay, even if only a little, he shows up.

You don’t even know why he’s here but it cannot possibly be good.

You don’t even know if you should talk to him, but you decide against it, as you notice the blood on his cheeks. Human blood.

How self centered do you have to be, to seriously think it’s okay to kill innocent people?

You feel sick.

I’ve been Ms. “misery” since your goodbye

And you’re Mr. “perfectly fine”

You’ve been holed up in your room, miserable. While your ex boyfriend has been happily ruining and ending lives.

What was it even all for?

Mr. “Never told you why”

Mr. “Never had to see me cry”

He never saw you in absolute disarray, the pain and grief you had to deal with. Losing your boyfriend in such a heartbreaking way. He never saw you struggle. He didn’t even see you the day you saw him. Perhaps you wanted to pretend you never saw him, because it would be at a cost of his safety. Or maybe you were scared of him. Even you weren’t sure what it was.

He didn’t even tell you why he left. You had to have gojo tell you. You didn’t get to confront him. Maybe you were just too scared to. Who knows.

But eventually, he finds you. He’s the one to confront you. And for a moment you feel terrified.

So it was really fear that allowed you to let him go, after all.

Mr. “Insincere apology so he doesn’t look like the bad guy”

He goes about his day

Forgets he ever even heard my name

He apologizes. But you both know he doesn’t mean it.

“I’m sorry.” he says blankly, you get the feeling he thinks he owes you an apology, despite the words not meaning anything.

There’s truth held to it, but you know what he’s apologizing for isn’t what he’s sorry about. He does not feel bad about killing those people, you’re not sure what he’s really sorry about.

But then he leaves.

You see him on occasion, in public, you see him with people you’ve never seen before. You assume, members of his cult.

He notices you, but never acknowledges you. Like you’re a complete stranger to him.

Well, I thought you might be different than the rest,

Guess you’re all the same

You thought he was special. Trust worthy. You’re one true love. But you suppose you were wrong.

More than that, you were stupid and young. You start to wonder what you even liked about him to begin with. Maybe you’re angry, bitter, upset, all of it at once. But you don’t know what you ever liked about him to begin with.

Your thoughts of him eventually become pure anger towards him, and nothing else.

‘Cause I hear he’s got his arm ‘round a brand new girl

I’ve been picking my heart, he’s been picking up her

You see him again, from a distance. You wonder why you haven’t killed him yet. He’s strong, but you’re strong too. You could always kill him. You are the second strongest, along with him, after all.

You’ve been trying so hard to mend your heart back together, but it feels impossible with how much you think about him.

You consider your options, think about how you should end his life, before you see them.

Two little girls.

And that’s when you realize, he has kids. Where the hell did he get them?

All this time you’ve been miserable, because of his absence, his betrayal, his lack of care towards you. And he’s already moving on with his new life while you’re still thinking about your old one?

It’s not fair.

And I never got past what you put me through

But it’s wonderful to see that it never fazed you

You could never quite get over it. Couldn’t quite get over him. You want to, especially when he seems so unbothered. But it’s hard.

So many times you’ve thought about giving up. So many times you’ve thought about trying to just live a life of normalcy, away from the jujutsu world.

But thoughts always come back to getou, the idea he’d kill you because you were now a normie.

Or the idea that maybe you could change his mind, selfish and stupid, but you still hoped to have him back into your life, normally.

But in the end, he doesn’t care. Not really. He’s set on his beliefs, he’d leave whoever he had to in order to succeed with his goals.

Hello Mr. “perfectly fine”

How’s your heart after breaking mine?

Did he ever care? You think he did. He just changed. That’s what people do. They change. Of course they do. You wonder if it was just a matter of time before this would happen. Everyone you’ve ever known had betrayed you one way or another. Used you, lied you you, mistrusted you. It always comes back to this.

You end up alone, hurt and betrayed, wondering why you keep continuing this cycle of trusting and loving people. Your heart is broken, once again. You must mend yourself back together, once again. You must build back up your walls, once again.

Mr. “Always at the right place at the right time”

Baby

Hello, Mr. “casually cruel”

Mr. “Everything revolves around you”

You would encounter him again, and for once it was when you could not back down from a fight. There was a young boy you needed to protect, a boy your ex was set on killing. Or perhaps, using. Getou liked playing the waiting game with this boy, it seemed. An arm wrapped around his shoulder, you walked behind the two. You cleared your throat.

He turns his head and sees you. He gives you a smirk, but there’s a sudden softness in his eyes upon realizing it’s you that you for once, notice. You hate how it makes your heart race. Your gaze does not soften like his does, though.

He gives a close eyed smile.

“Y/n! Long time no see!”

you grit you teeth at how casual he’s suddenly being with you.

Does he seriously think he’s going to get his way? You give gojo too much credit. Your king lost love certainly has an ego.

I’ve been Ms “misery” since your goodbye

And you’re Mr. “perfectly fine”

You’re still miserable. But you ultimately decide you need to move forward, if he has, why can’t you?

You feel guilty upon doing so. Not because you’re betraying getou, rather, you feel as though you’re betraying gojo. Leading him on. You haven’t moved on, your treating him like a rebound. He is a rebound. You don’t love him. But you tell yourself you do.

It’s like you try to completely replace getou with him. You take satoru to the same places you used to take suguru, you start to flirt and tease him the same way you used to flirt and tease suguru. The difference? You always fuck satoru on his stomach. You don’t hold his hands, you don’t want to look at him. You never touch his hair, because you’re hyper aware of the fact it’s significantly shorter. When he sucks you, you never look at him, you close your eyes, imagining someone else. You don’t kiss him while you fuck him. You tell him you love him, but you’re not thinking of satoru. You’re thinking of suguru.

So dignified in your well-pressed suit

So strategized, all the eyes on you

Another rescue mission, and who else do you run into other than the man getou suguru himself. The man that ruined your life and every aspect of it.

The mission was simple, rescue the girl at the party, leave.

But it seemed as though he had other plans for you.

That suit on him, it’s almost as if he wanted you to look at him. As if he knew you’d be here.

Maybe he did. And maybe your were a moron for falling into his trap.

Sashay your way to your seat

It’s the best seat, in the best room

How did you even get here? Your ex boyfriend, the man that’s ruined your life, the man you’ve hated and bitterly loved for so long, the man you never thought you’d ever truly be intimately involved with again. Bouncing on your cock.

All you could do was stare, he looks so beautiful. Even now.

You groan, even after all this time he’s still a total slut.

“Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou” he whines, incoherent.

Oh, he’s so smug , Mr. “always wins”

So far above me in every sense

So far above feeling anything

You don’t fail to see the smug look on sugurus face after it’s over, and it’s only then you realize you might’ve made a mistake.

And then he leaves without a trace. You fail to get the girl in time. You thank god satoru was there.

“Where were you?” he asked, “are you alright?” he asks, getting close to your face, noticing your exhaustion.

You breathe out a “yeah totally” and your friend, that you claim to be in love with but refuse to date, believes you.

You nearly failed.

You leave with satoru, suguru still in the back of your head.

You promise yourself you’ll never do that again.

And it’s really such a shame

It’s such a shame

But maybe that fuck was what you and him both needed.

It makes you sad to think about how everything went down. But maybe that was the closure you needed.

Because even if he had done it as a distraction, or so you thought, you realize it was genuine. His I love you’s were genuine, he stared at you with such love, such softness in his eyes.

You realized, maybe he did still love you. Maybe he always did, always has.

And that’s a shame. Because you know now, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Because you think you’re ready to move on.

‘Cause I was Ms. “here to stay”

Now I’m Ms. “gonna be alright someday”

You decide that you’ll be okay. Maybe at first, satoru was some sort of rebound. But it’s not like you didn’t have feelings for him at all. It’s why you even suggested being with him to begin with.

You thought you’d stay with suguru forever, but you wonder if maybe satoru was the one you were meant to be with all along. You acknowledge that you can trust again, you can truly be in love with satoru. You just need more time. And you need to be honest with him about what happened.

And so you do. And satoru understands. Because deep down he knew for a long time, you loved suguru.

He’s hurt, but he knows you do want to be with him still.

And so, you two slowly figure out your relationship. You give eachother time. You learn to let satoru in. You learn to trust him. And he learns to let you in, to truly trust you, and to do it without any doubt of your love for him.

And someday, maybe you’ll miss me

But by then youll be, Mr. “too late”

Your ex boyfriend, getou suguru. Seeks you out again. For another fuck, like last time. He’s up close in your face. Talking about some type of deal. An exchange for a young boy named yuta. You just need to give into him, let him use your pretty dick again. Even better, use him to your hearts content while he screams out in pleasure.

But this time, you do not give into his ministrations. You tell him you’re not interested, and you see the cocky smirk go away. His eyes widen in surprise, because you’re genuine. You’re not scared, you’re not worried of betrayal, you’re not holding back.

You are not hiding anything from him.

You are simply not interested in him anymore.

He realizes now, he’s lost you, for good this time.

Goodbye, Mr. “perfectly fine”

How’s your heart after breaking mine?

Now you finally know how he feels.

He cares, he always has.

You now know why he’s sorry. He’s not sorry for killing those people, he’s not sorry for doing what he believes he has to. He’s sorry for leaving. He’s sorry for hurting you. He’s sorry for not being what you wanted. He’s sorry he wasn’t strong enough for you.

He’s sorry he wasn’t gojo.

You got everything you want out of him, you are not angry anymore. You will always be sad by your loss, but you now know you are capable of a life without him.

You are moving on without him in your life.

Mr. “Always at the right place at the right time”

Baby

Goodbye, Mr. “casually cruel”

Mr. “Everything revolves around you”

He sees you pretty often now. But he doesn’t directly interact. He sees you interact with gojo. He sees you kiss him. He realizes you’ve moved on. He wonders if you ever cared, were you ever hurt? When you fucked him, were you just using him? You did manage to save the girl, or more like, gojo did.

Did you always know? Was he just a fool?

You notice him, but don’t utter a word, you just look back at gojo.

As if he was some stranger.

I’ve been Ms. “misery” for the last time

And you’re Mr. “perfectly fine”

You’re perfectly fine

He eventually realizes the pain he has inflicted upon you. You left him, and he watched you. He watched you fall for another, be happy with another. All he could do was watch idly by.

Like you, he will eventually realize you did always love him and you did care. Just not so much anymore. You move on despite the fact you thought all this time he had, but he had never once stopped thinking of you.

Mr. “Look me in the eye and told me you would never go away”

You said you’d never go away

He replays your memories everyday. He remembers everytime he promised to stick by you. He doesn’t blame you for no longer loving him.

So on December 24th, he tells satoru to keep taking good care of you.

In the end, he wasn’t really lying.

He’ll always be with you. Dead or not. He was always with you, even if you weren’t together. Everything he did, was for you. To build you a better life that you could live in. He dedicated his life to you, so much so he detached himself from you life in hopes of protecting you from so much pain. He failed in doing so anyways.

But even if you move on, deep down, you know it too.

Suguru is always with you. Which seems like a sweet sentiment. But it’s not. It’s more like,

Suguru Getou will always be there to haunt you.

[lostfracturess]

helloo!!! just finished all the "symptoms and causes" chapters that are out and i want to say this story has me on a MASSIVE chokehold 😭😭😭😭😭 stumbled upon the recommendation and decided to give it a try, because i already saw the chapters under the tag, though i am not a huge fan of long ongoings with the y/n, but lord it was one of the best decisions here, i wish i read it earlier! I don't know even what to start with, so im sorry for this kinda chaos, i guess the first thing that really got me is the characters and the way you depict them!!! satoru is so fucking good here, you describe him in such a thoughtful and thorough manner it makes me smiling blushing giggling 😫😫😫😫 the characteristics of him, his actions, little details of him handling himself around... it's so subtle yet adds a lot of deep to the character! i like especially when you highlight the intensity of his stare in the various situations, i think it's really canon of him!! overall he has me on my knees 😞😞😞 and y/n??? GOSH THIS WOMAN! i understand satoru completely, she would've me wrapped around her finger as well. i like that she feels....real? like a total normal human being with flaws, she's neither perfect in every aspect nor she tries to be. i ADORE her strength and the way she collects herself in the difficult situations ("i have to be strong for them"), yet she's not kinda of a terminator and indeed is vulnerable. the chess game just had me thinking whether i want to be her or want to be with her (this option is closed but still-), it's just THIS good. pacing is also very nice!!!! i think that everything just perfect the way it is. and the setting??? you did a very good job at describing it, i really felt like i was there in these moments (though to be honest i half read the surgeries because of the terminology 😭😭😭😭😭), it's very good. also the thing i would like to point out is the surroundings of y/n, it's not only just her and satoru communicating, but a variety of other people, i like their friendship with yuta, maki and toge! suguru and satoru are also nice, their bond is strong for sure, I'm really glad they have such people in their lives (we do not talk about sukuna and gojo's parents...). and ALSO THE ANGST??? it's just so fucking good written, their emotions and feelings 😩😩😩😩 literally biting my pillow!!!!! overall, the story is magnificent and looking forward to the next chapter! sending you lots of inspiration!!!!

p.s. looked through your playlist as well, i think it's very nice! might i suggest you to listen to "don't blame me" by taylor swift, cause to my humble opinion it fits them perfectly 😫

thank you SO SO much for this incredibly thoughtful message! honestly, reading this was the best part of my day. it makes me so unbelievably happy that you gave symptoms and causes a chance, even tho you're not into long stories and ended up liking it! 😭

i'm so glad that you're connecting with the characters! i spend a lot of time trying to get into satoru's headspace, like messy, chaotic, but with a surprising amount of hidden vulnerability and a really genuine love. so glad you're catching all those nuances!!

and yes, the STARES! i think this man communicates with his stupidly handsome eyes 99% of the time. it just must be canon.

also so glad you like the reader persona in this story. i wanted to portray someone both strong and flawed, capable of taking charge yet never being immune to their own doubts. i've been nervous that people can't relate or see themselves in the story, so i'm very relieved to hear that! <3

also so happy to hear the chess scene landed well for you, this is one of my favorites!!!

moreover find it kinda funny that you just SKIP the surgery scenes because of the medical terminology, that i spend hours researching for haha. but i get you, it might be a bit much and boring...

thank you again for taking your precious time to write me this sweet message!! can't wait to share more of the story with you! & wishing you nothing but the best! 🥲🫶🫶

and i will definitely add, don't blame me! haven't been listening to taylor swift as much lately, even though i'm going to her concert this summer omg.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

I WAS LISTENING TO MR PERFECTLY FINE BY TAYLOR SWIFT YESTERDAY AND I DONT KNOW WHY ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS GOJO SATORU IN ALL HIS PERFECT GLORY BREAKING UP WITH READER BECAUSE THE READER DIDNT KNOW ABOUT HIS POWERS AND SHI AND WAS A NON SORCERER HERSELF SO HE DISTANCED HIMSELF FROM HER TO NOT INVOLVE HIS PRECIOUS, SWEET AND AWFULLY FRAIL LOVE IN HIS INCREDIBLY TRAGIC LIFE AND FEW MONTHS LATER THEY MEET AGAIN AND IDEK THE READER IS NOW A FAMOUS ARTIST OF SOME SORT(WHICH SHE ALWAYS TOLD SHE WANTED TO BE) AND SHE WROTE THAT SONG ABOUT HIM I-

OOOHH THIS CONCEPT ……… it’s so tasty 😵‍💫😵‍💫

no because this is the only scenario in which i can see gojo breaking up w reader tbh …. because he doesn’t wanna endanger them 😔😔 i think he would still keep an eye out for them though!! not in a stalkerish way, just checking up on them now and then to make sure they’re safe (and bc he misses them :’3) AND AND AND i think that if reader made it as an artist he would be sooo fucking proud and would 100% go to the concert in a shitty disguise because he wants to see them ……

but then he realizes who the song is about. and it’s soooo bittersweet yk?? ”you said you’d never go away”… i think he would cry a lil tbh :’3 after the concert. just a tear or two. he’s both happy and sad because on one hand reader is moving on, they’re doing better, they’re dealing with the breakup … but on the other hand the idea that they think he’s ”perfectly fine” would probably hurt him a lot. it’s for the best, but he can’t help but feel a pang of ache because of course he isn’t doing fine…. he wants to be with them, he just doesn’t want them to get hurt :(( ….

probably sends you an anonymous message to praise you for the concert afterwards… maybe signs it off as mr perfectly fine for dramatic effect LMAO but honestly i think he’d prefer to leave his s/o alone :’3 doesn’t want them to know he still loves them…… it’s better to listen to their songs, check up on them every now and then. he tells himself it’s for the best, but it doesn’t stop the ache.

….. gojo angst scenarios rlly make me sad LMAO i want him to be happy so bad T_T …. BUT THIS IS SUCH A TASTY LIL THOUGHT TYSM FOR SHARING <333

[chuluoyi]

Hey Chu!

(It is not an ask)

So, I came across your page about 2 months ago or so, and every day, whatever I do, I never forget to check your page for any updates. At first, I was just a mere jjk fan who was (is) desperately in love with gojo, but now, I am so in love with the way you write... everything. Let me tell you a little about myself. I am a very introverted girl, I love literature and poetry and taylor swift, and I am sucker for storytelling, I live in my head, always coming up with different stories to tell.

I have always wanted to text you and tell you how much I appreciate being a part of your little community. Your page is like a safe space for me. And your writing, it's amazing. I always feel so connected with the story because of the way you put out every little feeling and detail. You seem to know your characters well enough, that they almost feel real, and by 'your' characters, I mean, for e.g. take satoru, you know exactly what he would be like in any given situation, and you portray it, oh so well, unlike other writers. And you, as a person, are the sweetest human being I have ever come across online. The way you talk to everyone, you make them feel like, idk how to put it...home. People feel safe sharing their opinions. You are amazing. Thank you for existing. I hope you are well.

- Ady🫶🏻

this is the first thing i read upon opening my tumblr yesterday after feeling so overwhelmed by work… and i want to say thank you so so much🥺🩵

i’m so so glad my blog can be your safe space🥺 and that you check me for updates everyday—it makes me so incredibly happy to know that my stories can make you happy at all and you also feel connected to them because that’s what every writer dreams of!🥹 and thank you too for contributing kindness to this little community i have… because without nice people like you, we wouldn’t have as much fun🥹🫶🏻

and i’m so flattered that you think that way because honestly it’s because all of you who are so sweet to me tooo!!😭 so thank you, for giving me love in this app🩵

sending you lots of hugs from where i am, ady!!!✨ thank you so much for dropping by and saying this🥹✨

[stellamancer]

Yes yes I am here for the selfship questionnaire and I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS!! 🗣️

🎵 💍 ☕️ 🌌

ERIKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HELLO. I'm guessing I'm for our most hated handsome blue eyed monster right? Right LMAO

What are some song lyrics that make you think of your f/o/your relationship with your f/o?

REALLY MAKING ME DIG INTO THE PLAYLIST HUH.... You're making movies in your head when you fall asleep Having nightmares, dreaming that I'm gonna leave I know you've always been afraid of ending up alone Somebody hurt you, now you're waiting on a dial tone - With You Around by Yelllowcard It's that last line man LMAO. I know I tend to make it about me I know you never get just what you see But I will never bore you, ba-a-by (And there's a lot of lame guys out there) - ME! by Taylor Swift (feat. Brenden Urie) I tried not to put more Taylor Swift lyrics BUT BUT BUT. you can see what I mean here??? YOU CAN SEE MY VISION RIGHT??? Actually I could do a whole post on the damn niku and gooj playliust. I would. Maybe with enough prodding.

What’s your dream wedding?

OH GOD. I'm. To be honest, I'm so bad at picturing weddings for myself. So because, I think I'd say we'd elope! But, dresses are pretty, so I think if he caught me staring at a wedding dress for longer than half a second, we'd end up doing a wedding. I guess then it'd be a western style wedding? Gojo in a tux man. We can break our brains over that mental image. I think the conversation of a traditional Japanese wedding would come up but he saw me look at that dress so LMAO. The thought of a wedding would make me nervous... but I think it'd end up being fun.

How do you comfort each other on a bad day?

RE: Me being bad at comforting people from Merms' ask. I'm not really good at finding the words, I think. But I think comforting him would be another case of being nearby, being close. Trying to hug or cuddle. In Gojo's case specifically, I would offer him cake. Sweets. Break out the emergency stash . HE PROBABLY FEEDS ME TOO. GOD. i'm so easily comforted by food, you don't even know. But he can teleport, so like... I'm moping and he disappears and comes back with a Kobe cheesecake... Or okonomiyaki from Osaka... Boxes full of omiyage treats... He'd probably start playing a game for me to watch him breeze through... I'd probably get riled up if he flawlessly beat a boss I struggled on. Man, I hate that man LMAO.

What was your first date like?

Okay. I wasn't going to answer this because Willow asked this too, but I think I actually will. I'll make it fun when I get to Willow's LMAO. Please look forward to it!! Anyway, the fact that the first date was actually a first date would completely fly over my mind. You see, the way I pictured us meeting is running into each other at sweet shops and bakery grand openings. and like. one time we're forced, by the shop staff to, idk, split a huge fucking parfait and like both of us could finish it on our own individually, but we end up sharing it and he's nice enough to pay for it. And that was the first date. I didn't know it was a date, I thought i was getting a free parfait lmao.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

TODO THROWING HIMSELF AT Y/N LMAOOO im crying the idolization is so funny

Ok the little friendship with todo thing is funny and cute in a this-is-kinda-weird way LMAOO I’ve never seen a work that incorporates Todo as a friend of y/n this is very entertaining to read LOL

Gojo singing Taylor swift is so real LMAOOO

Ok time skip because I got lost in reading LOL but “you’re a freak” “you’re a girl” BRO??? That’s so Naoya you captured him so well but also I CANT it’s almost TOO naoya but y/n todo unlikely friendship????

Ok got to shibuya and WOW wasn’t prepared to cry!! You’d think that after reading the manga like twice and seeing everything that’s happened you’d be desensitized to the angst in jjk but NOPE!! This just brings me back to when I first read through the shibuya arc oh god Im gonna need some goofy soccer boys after this….also you know its bad when i read Kurusu as Karasu LMAOO

Ok but NOOOOOO TULLIA???? Crying fr but also seeing all the complexities and hardships y/n has to go through….all the drama and complications with the clan heads and higher ups and seeing her own decisions >>>> y/n giving up fighting makes me feel slightly conflicted ngl but that’s the nature of jjk (haha! Ha…) either way beautifully written I spent like the entirety of the day reading all this

By the photo album was the last straw HEBFLISHSS now I remember why I dropped jjk im not built for pure angst like this (also I have no idea what’s happening in the manga rn but that’s besides the point)

Ok THANK GOD Y/N IS NOT DEAD just finished and WOW that was a ride “cool story bro” indeed…ok but in all seriousness seriously beautifully crafted and so well developed I loved how each facet of y/n’s background as also touched on and delved into during the progression of the story…..I’m never getting over Gojo’s death though this just transported me back to jjk era and made me so emotional (in a good way) LMAO thank you for your service once again o7 I can guarantee you Yuta nation was well fed with this series!!

-Karasu anon

NDDJDHSHS TODO + Y/N HAVE THE BEST FRIENDSHIP i also really haven’t seen many stories where todo is friends w the mc especially not in a serious way — either he’s there as comedic relief or the mc hates him!! and while he’s def comedic relief in pi he and y/n also clearly respect one another and they have some serious moments hehe i love them sm

gojo the swiftie 😫 i do not think that man would have an eclectic music taste truly it’s whatever is on the radio for him 😭

the y/n and naoya beef is insane but i hate him so it only makes sense my girl does too!! plus she loves maki and considering what naoya has done to maki it would make zero for sense for them to get along even slightly

POMEGRANATE INK SHIBUYA CHAPTER MY BELOVED it’s like one thing after another w that chapter truly one of the most insane things i’ve written…i really liked the way it turned out though!! at least to me it fit the vibe of jjk and shibuya well without copying/stealing anyone’s storylines outright

the photo album feels like an end credits scene to me if that makes sense?? like it would play at the end of the movie/final episode of the show and it would make you cry HAHAHA it made me so emotional writing it like they’re really come so far from their first year 🥹😭💔

HEHEHE had to hit ‘em w a spin move 😈 i had so much fun making y/n as a character and expanding on her and the pomegranate ink version of jjk…she’s not complex in the sense that she’s a pretty normal person but there was a lot of thought put into her and with how long the story ended up being there was a lot of time to really get to know her and everything abt her!! she struggles a lot but in the end she somehow makes it through and even though it’s not a perfect victory because so many are dead…SHE made it which in the beginning of the series didn’t even seem likely

THANK YOU SOOO MUCH I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT!! hehehe best friend’s brother (otoya’s version) should be out soon so you’ll have something silly w that

[hwangism143]

paper rings

synopsis: you're in love with your best friend, but technically, you're already engaged

pairing: non-idol!jisung x gn!reader (ft. the rest of skz and one roommate)

genre: best friends to lover, idiots

warnings: drinking. swearing. reader is implied to be bisexual. kys jokes.

word count: 4.1k words

a/n: i remember reading about someone and their best friend doing this lmao and just instantly thought of jisung. pls drop your comments and reblog lovies <3!

"i hate accidents, except when we went from friends to this"

Being Han Jisung's best friend was certainly... something. Three years ago when he sat down on the free seat next to you during your first sound engineering class and offered you a big grin, you never expected him to become an unreplaceable part of your life. It came with it's benefits too though; you were now friends with his extremely loud and boisterous group of friends, but hey, at least that meant that you would get free food from Jisung five days a week (technically it was his food the Minho would pack but, who cares? Certainly not him).

You found it extremely easy to become friends with Jisung. It was almost amusing, how quickly you had opened the door to your heart for entry by him. Asking for class notes soon became hour long conversations about anime and movies and campus gossip. A shared obsession over Taylor Swift soon became in-home ice cream sessions spent dissecting her lyrics. Your friendship had gotten to the point where everyday, Jisung would leave you a paper ring on your seat beside, scribbled with a inspirational message.

You two had a tendency of doing almost everything together. You both were similar in several ways. Jisung wanted to be a music producer and had already decided that you would be the sound engineer for his studio. You both had anxiety as well, and although it varied, you knew each other's tells. It was a habit, at this point, comforting each other and being the other person's crutch in life.

Although, doing everything together wasn't always beneficiary. You were often party to Jisung's mischievous schemes, a product of his irresistible longing to entice playful irritation within his hyungs. The rest of the group loved you though, causing Jisung to be let off easily as a result of you being present with him.

You couldn't really say that you showed any mercy to Jisung either. He was a compulsory addition, along with your phone and wallet, on your late night grocery runs. You could have a craving from sushi to just dollar-store ramen, Jisung was always there (and sometimes not of his own will and accord). Regardless of what time or what materialistic object was set in your sights, Jisung had to come with you.

He never complained though. The boy had a slightly concerning affinity towards eating blueberry muffins and barbecued chicken breast at two in the morning. Both of you having some of the most fucked up sleep schedules you had ever seen (rivaled only by that of Chan, if you could even call it a sleep schedule), caused these late night runs to be an extremely frequent occurrence.

-

Your eyes were closed as you sat in the park bench in the middle of some town whose name you could not pronounce. What was the point of going to a prestigious university if they didn't even take you on nice trips?

After Jisung had finally been released from the clutches of 3RACHA (aka three broke men making music that is destined for greatness as soon as they become money minded), he had found his way to you. Well, less found his way and more spam called you and blew up your phone with Jujitsu Kaizen memes (which was so infuriating because you hadn't even watched it and yet your phone's gallery was full of Gojo's six-pack, all thanks to Jisung).

You felt bad for even thinking it, but to be honest, you were kind of avoiding him. Lately, Jisung had been spending a lot of time with you. You were probably imagining it, but it felt like Jisung was stealing glances towards you more often, like his touches were lingering instead of fleeting.

Ah, hope. What a fickle thing. It had people grasping to ideals that could be never achieved, desperately trying to hold on to a light that was long past dimming. You were already prisoner to wishful thinking; you didn't want to be held captive to the confines of hope either.

You texted Jisung the location of the park that you had accidentally stumbled upon and had decided to spend the rest of your day in. The university you attended had paid for transport, dumped you here and left you to be. To be fair, there wasn't really much you could plan for a two-day one night trip. The idea was, for your friend group at least, to spend the first morning roaming around on your own, go out to a nice restaurant in the night and spend the second day in the beach before heading home.

Jisung was hijacked by his other friend group for the larger part of the day, causing you to be victim of walking around pitifully alone and threatening bodily harm if Jisung didn't properly apologize with Boba and breakfast pancakes. You were walking in and out of stores, window shopping (the unfortunate and yet to be expected aftermath of blowing all your money on arcade tickets), when you decided to sit down somewhere nice.

Of course you found the most sub-urban park you had ever seen, complete with a once copper now greening statue of some man who was probably extremely important to the towns history but never brought up in conversation, educational or otherwise. The park was full of children with rose-tinted cheeks and mothers lamenting about each other (with the addition of an occasional barking dog).

You wondered if you would live the same way someday, coming to the park with a man or woman you loved and a child in your arms. Maybe even a dog or two, although you highly doubted if you could handle one considering you didn't even have a hold on yourself. Soon, you saw the figure of Jisung approaching you, Boba in one hand and waving at you with another. He handed you the drink and proceeded to sit down, his thigh brushing against yours.

Beside you, you felt Jisung shuffling around. "Okay, I have a very important question. When did you feel happiest with me?"

You wondered what could have prompted such a question from him. Jisung did have a tendency to talk about the latest hit songs for two weeks and then suddenly ask you about something nearly superficially philosophical. The last time he had asked you something, it had prompted an hour long debate on the meaning of life that could only be stopped due to Minho allegedly accidentally bringing home a stray kitten.

You let out a snort, "People don't feel happy around you, they fear for their fucking lives."

Jisung shoved you playfully, "Hey, be serious!" He had been growing out his hair and it fell into his eyes, making you suppress the temptation to run your hands through it. The entire world was moving around you, cars driving, people talking, an annoyingly loud baby crying. But this moment, with Jisung looking at you with curious eyes and a wide smile, was at a standstill.

You instantly knew the answer and reflected his smile back at him, "When you first proposed to me."

-

University students were apparently supposed to be mature and always prepared. You and Jisung were clearly the exception. The two of you were doubled over in laughter (in the middle of the street that too) after recounting what had happened just a few short minutes before.

It was a mere two weeks after your mid-terms for your first year in university. Jisung was over at your dorm room, citing an escape from Changbin's chokehold as an excuse to instead trouble you with his presence. You both were curled up on the couch watching some trashy reality show when Jisung's stomach comically grumbled.

Without even bothering to grab your stuff, you both had gone to a fast food restaurant, craving french fries for dinner. As Jisung ordered, the cashier asked robotically, 'cash of credit'. Jisung looked at you with wide eyes. You reciprocated.

The cashier was growing impatient. "Well? Do I need to call someone?"

The both of you exchanged a glance. A curt nod. And ran for your lives as the cashier cursed behind you. You both ran as much as you could until your legs finally gave out. Finding yourself in front of an alleyway full of small shops, you began contemplating where was the best to go. Finally, the two of you went inside a small, family-owned café, and sat down, breathing heavily.

The café in itself was extremely cozy, decorated in varying shades of brown and beige. You were surprised and slightly disappointed about not discovering this gem of a place before. In your mind, you had already tucked it away to become a regular study destination. You certainly did need one after getting banned from the public library thanks to another one of Jisung's antics.

"Did he call us a green horse's explosive ass?" You questioned, just setting off another fit of giggles.

Jisung shrugged at you, his eyes suddenly narrowing. That couldn't be good. He had a look in his eyes that you knew all too well. Han Jisung was about to come up with a plan, and it would either be Nobel worthy or akin to a tsunami.

"Y/N," said Jisung, "I have an idea. Just play along."

He dragged you to the middle of the restaurant, earning stares from the onlookers who were peacefully eating. His right leg bounced up and down as you glared at him. What are you doing? you mouthed at him. Just trust me, he said back. You knew about his social anxiety. Then why on earth was he putting himself in such a situation?

He took a few steps backwards, letting go of your hands, and dropped down on one knee. Jisung took out something shiny out of his pocket and quickly wiped it on his sweater. You looked at him in confusion, eyebrows raising in disbelief when you realized what was happening.

"When I first met you, I knew you were the one for me. Everything about you fit everything about me as if we're meant to be. I don't know the definition eternal, but if we were to consider the conventional meaning... I would like to have the honor of spending the rest of it with you."

You arched an eyebrow, wondering how long it took your best friend to come up with that. Coming back to your surroundings, as if on cue, your hand flew to your mouth and your eyes began to water (more so because of how difficult it was for you to contain your laughter, but oh well; at least it got the job done.)

You rapidly began to nod, grinning at him ear to ear. He smiled back at you, slipping the ring onto your finger. You look down at it, suppressing yet another snicker after seeing the tacky pawn shop ring that adorned your hand. Jisung quickly wrapped his arms around you, picking you up and spinning you around. You giggled into the crook of his neck as the room burst into applause.

People came up to you with their congratulations while you two went to the counter to place your orders. "Two chicked burgers and one large french fries to go please," said Jisung kindly. He cocked his head towards you, "Baby, do you want the oreo milkshake?"

Jisung calling you 'baby' caught you by surprise. A part of you had nearly forgotten that you still had to put up the act. Blushing furiously (because you forgot, not because Jisung called you baby with a low drawl, obviously), you replied with a simple, "Sure. Thanks, honey." You smiled in achievement as Jisung began stuttering, cheeks tinted red.

"Oh, it's on the house for the soon to be married!" said the kindly old lady working the counter. Jisung quickly grabbed your food and the two of you rushed out of the store. As soon as you turned the corner, you both burst out laughing again.

"Jisung," you slapped him on the chest, "I feel so guilty!"

He just gave you a sheepish nod, grabbing a french fry and popping it in his mouth. You continued protesting but he put a finger on you lip and tilted the bag of food toward you. You gave him an admonishing look, picking up the food. He threw an arm around your shoulder while you settled into the curve of his collarbone, eating and walking in comfortable silence on the way home.

That was when, you thought, that was when you first started seeing him as someone more than just a friend.

-

Jisung tapped you impaitiently. "What say we do it again?" he asked sweetly.

"Oh my god Jisung, stop," you said pushing him playfully. He pouted at you while you glared at him, until Chan came up to the two of you and asked if he could talk to Jisung alone.

Jisung gave you an apologetic smile and strolled away with Chan, chatting away about something. As soon as he left, you let out a long exhale.

Nobody warned you about how painful being in love with your best friend would be. Nobody told you about how difficult it would be to restrain yourself from confessing all you feelings. Nobody told you how torturous it would be watching him gaze at other people, knowing that he would never look at you the same way.

You pinpointed that afternoon as the day when you started looking at Han Jisung through rose-tinted glasses. You went from being comforted by his light touches to craving them. You found yourself wanting to be something to him, something more than just a label of a 'best friend'.

You wanted him, wholly and completely, and were prepared to give yourself to him in the exact same way.

You would never, in a hundred years though, tell Jisung about your feelings. You had made up your mind. Telling him that you loved him would put your friendship at risk. You would much rather have Jisung at an arm's length than not at all.

You sat in the bench, lost in thought when you felt a throat clear in front of you. There Jisung was propped up on one knee, rattling off the same words he had told you all those months ago. He had a twinkle in his eye. You had tears in yours.

Jisung always lauded your performance in that tiny café. He said that your on command crying was so exceptional that 'aspiring actors should be grateful that you decided to settle on sound engineering'. You decided to spare his feelings and not tell him that your tears were a result of the absolute absurdity surrounding the entire situation.

The second and only other time that Jisung had whipped out his ring and you had whipped out your bridal tendencies was when your entire friend group was half-drunk in a bar, celebrating after mid-terms week. Jeongin wanted a full play by play of what, by then, was an iconic party story. You both went at again, albeit a little sloppily considering your inebriated state of mind.

This time though, tears ran down your face mercilessly. You couldn't take it anymore, your feelings growing and growing into something bigger than you could fathom. What started as the fluttering of a lone butterfly turned into a swarm of them and this, this was your breaking point.

Jisung looked at you with concern in his eyes. "Y/N? Are you okay? Is everything-"

"Stop," you snapped at him, "Just fucking stop, Jisung. Please."

He looked at you in confusion as you stood up and walked away.

-

The first place you went to was the hotel you were staying at. You quickly ran through the streets, wiping away your tears swiftly. There was something inherently wrong with you. You had utterly fucked up. You should have just played along. You should have just said yes. You should not have been hoping for something that you knew was out of reach.

You sat on your hotel bed when you heard a knock on your door. When you swung it open, Hyunjin and Seungmin stood there with an armful of chocolates and identical, all to familiar expressions on their face. Pity.

"Don't have a love life of your own so you came to interfere in mine?" You asked dryly, beckoning them inside. Out of everyone, only Hyunjin and Seungmin knew about your crush on Jisung.

-

You stood in the kitchen silently, swallowing the lump in your throat. Jisung was in the other room talking about this really pretty and amazing new transfer in their music production course. With every word of praise he spoke about her, another piece of your heart broke apart.

When you couldn't bear to listen to anymore of the incredible things that the enigmatic 'new year girl' had done anymore, you retreated into Felix's brightly lit kitchen. You opted to find solace in the soda that bubbled in your red Solo cup and the smell of brownies that somehow still lingered despite being taken out (and subsequently consumed) over an hour ago.

Hyunjin and Seungmin were walking into the kitchen when they spotted you. Hyunjin, ever the empath, knew that something was up with you. He attempted to talk to you about it, but you kept shutting him down. Seungmin, who was the most like you in the entire group, knew you needed time and lightly rested his fingers on Hyunjin's arm.

"You can stay," you said, your voice breaking in between. The three of you just stood there, the only sound being muffled chatter and the occasional sip of soda in your case and beer in theirs. Seungmin must have given Hyunjin a signal of affirmation when he turned to you, mouth opened as if to ask you a question.

He was walking on figurative eggshells when he asked you hesitantly, "You like him, don't you?"

You looked up at him with tears in your eyes and that was all it took for the two boys to quietly slip out of the apartment with you, grab ice cream and listen to your pathetic dilemma. Vowing to help you if you could keep Minho from yelling at them about the cat toy they had happened to lose, the three of you formed an extremely unlikely yet strong friendship, built on the very foundations of your pathetic unrequited love.

-

Hyunjin laid back on your bed and you settled to sit down beside him. He wordlessly handed you the chocolate, waiting for you to open it as Seungmin opted to sit down on the armchair across from the bed. Oddly enough, you had grown extremely close to the two of them after the conversation you had in the kitchen six months ago. Apart from Jisung and your roommate Reina, they were the people you were closest to.

Seungmin scoffed, "If you had a love life, we wouldn't be here in the first place."

You swore at him and threw the wrapping paper towards him. Hyunjin turned and attempted to giggle into the bedsheet undetected but earned a light slap from you in response. You slouched beside Hyunjin with a sigh, handing him block of chocolate, "Jisung told you, didn't he?"

"Yep," said Hyunjin loudly, chewing his chocolate. Seungmin pulled a face at him as you snapped a finger in the air to get their attention.

"Okay, so?"

Seungmin's eyes turned towards you. "He was horrified thinking that he had overstepped his boundaries blah blah blah, can't lose your friendship, ya da da," he said in a bored tone, "Please tell him you're in love with him. It will spare us all the pain."

You glared at him. "What if he- Hyunjin! Don't eat all of it!"

"I got you another," he said between mouthfuls, "and listen up. You know how we're your go to relationship venting people right? Well, turns out Minho hyung and Changbin hyung have taken up those responsibilities on Jisung's end. We met them up on the way here and, well, you both need to talk to each other."

Hyunjin finished triumphantly and reached for a bag of chips that lay innocently on the bedside, unaware of the fate that was about to befall them at the hands of a certain Hwang Hyunjin. Seungmin just pinched the bridge of his nose and said, "Look. Talk to him at that restaurant we'll be going to tonight, okay? You'll be all dressed up and maybe that'll help your cause considering how you look like a homeless person half the time."

You threw him a pillow and grateful smile in response.

-

"Can we talk?" asked Jisung as he stood near the chair next to you. Hyunjin shot you an encouraging thumbs up while Seungmin raised his glass of soju at you, a remind that you weren't allowed to drink yourself senseless (as worded by Seungmin himself), until you had a proper and sober conversation with Jisung about your feelings. You motioned for him to sit down on the chair beside you and Jisung followed suit.

The two of you sat in silence, and for the first time, it was heartbreakingly awkward. Silence with Jisung was never supposed to be like that. It wasn't supposed to be heavy. It was supposed to be a moment when you could just sit quietly and collect your thoughts. It was a moment when you would need a break from life, put the entire ordeal of existence on pause, and not have to explain why. It was a gift only Jisung could bestow upon you, and a curse only he could understand as well as.

"I have something to say as well. I'm sorry for running off like that," you say apologetically, in an attempt to break the silence. Jisung wordlessly hands you over a piece of what looks like green paper. It's a ring. A paper ring. It matches the pink one on his finger that he fiddles with unconsciously. You resist the overwhelming urge to place your hand on top of his and lace your fingers together.

"Oh. Is that all?"

"No- um, actually," you begin and then falter. Jisung looks at you intently, eyes prodding. It was almost as if was waiting for you to say something. His piercing gaze retreats and his expression transforms into one of defeat. He opens his mouth slightly to say something, which you do as well.

You take a deep breath, ready to deliver a confession that would rival that of the likes of a 16th century lovestruck noble, born from the pages of a Shakespearian play when you both blurt out at the same time, "I like you."

Jisung continued rambling, "I didn't know how to tell you. You're so smart and funny and beautiful and amazing that I thought you would never like me that way. I pretended to like other people so that you feel jealous, because, apparently according to Changbin hyung and Minho hyung, that is extremely effective. I should have known not to take advice from a man who literally calls his treadmill his wife and a cat mother. But I was desperate. And I didn't know and-"

"Jisung," you laughed, giving him a small shake, "I like you."

"Wait," Jisung's eyes widened as he stumbled over his words, "For real?"

You shake your head up and down, still processing everything. Jisung liked you. You. You, who were quick to snap at people when they hurt someone you loved. You, who waited and pushed until after a deadline. You, who either loved passionately or not at all.

Being loved by him was all you ever wanted, but how could he love someone as tangled up of a mess as you?

Jisung gave you a knowing look. He took you hands in his when he said, "I meant it all. The proposal. I don't know the meaning of eternity but, you give me a reason to look for it. If I look for the meaning of eternity then I have an excuse, an explanation as to why I should spend the rest of my life with you."

You looked at him, unshed drops of water reflecting in his eyes. Oh, those eyes you fondly called 'bob-shaped', those eyes that you could drown in.

"Jisung," you asked softly, "Is this the part where we kiss?"

Jisung rested his forehead on yours and gave a low chuckle, "I'm supposed to to be the idiot in this relationship, not you."

He pressed his lips onto yours and your reciprocated, ignoring all the cheering and hooting coming from the other side of the room. This moment belonged to the two of you. There was nobody you would rather give your heart too than your best friend Han Jisung, and there was nobody whose heart Jisung would rather have fit in his palm than yours.

[chuuyrr]

hello! for possible future ideas with your gojo!reader x bsd, you should write about how reader and the characters got together!! :) have a good day<3

my heaven on earth

bungou stray dogs x gojo! reader

masterlist of infinity

╰➤ CW(s): possible spoilers for bungou stray dogs, themes of fluff and light angst, mentions of suicide because of dazai, soft bsd boys, them just falling for you hard ><

╰➤ PAIRING(s): dazai osamu x reader, nakahara chuuya x reader, fyodor dostoevsky x reader

╰➤ SYNOPSIS(s): in which the bsd boys found their heaven on earth or they get together with you

╰➤ SONG SUGGESTION(s): infinity by jaymes young (dazai), boyfriend by ariana grande and social house (chuuya), don't blame me by taylor swift (fyodor)

hello, anon beloved! thank you so much for requesting :) this is actually the first request i received for infinity so it means a lot. i didn't know which bsd characters to choose so im doing dazai, chuuya and fyodor. this is also my first time writing for fyodor, i hope i did okay. enjoy reading ♡

dazai osamu !

you like to believe that dazai was the one who broke down your walls, both figuratively and literally, since his no longer human ability can easily and thus break your infinity and cancel out the rest of your limitless ability variations such as amplified blue, reversal red, and hollowed purple with ease. at first, you despised him for that. not only did he have such an ability that surpasses yours and maybe breaks your ego, he hadn't stopped making advances on you since that day you came to yokohama to steal back all of the classified information the three big organizations of yokohama had on sugawara michizane and his descendant, which is you.

this man just wouldn't stop calling you belladonna and asking you if you wanted to go on a double suicide with him. at first, it was just confusing and annoying, and you hated the fact that you often saw him now ever since the armed detective agency had affiliated with the higher-ups, a group of gifted people that consisted of conversative old people that oversaw tokyo's peace. dazai has no formalities for you either. if it's not belladonna, then he just straight up calls you "[name]-chan" instead of "gojo-san" or at least "[name]-san". 

no matter how you rejected dazai's advances and came back with snarky or sarcastic banters after his every single time, he refused to give up on you. you genuinely thought all of it was just for mere play, just an attempt to fluster you and mess with you—well, that's what dazai thought too—but things drastically changed. it started to feel genuine, or maybe, that's just his flirtatious remarks and advances finally getting to your head?

scenario with dazai osamu !

you were working with the armed detective agency, particularly with dazai alone. dazai had just finished gathering intel they had on an classified information a special weapon while you swept the floor with the perpetrators, sending them flying unconscious with your limitless ability.

"good work detective [name]-chan!" dazai praised you with a teasing close-eyed smiled as he rounded you an applause and sauntered towards where you were squated.

"maybe you should join the armed detective agency instead. that way, we can see each other more often!" dazai stated rather enthusiastically.

"i'm not a detective honey." you drew out a sigh at the brunet. "don't push it."

you were fixing the bandages around your aquamarine eyes since it had gotten loose when you realized it was shorter since it got somehow cut off while you were fighting against a gifted. thinking about it, that was the second time that someone was able to get through your ability. they weren't a no longer human ability user like dazai, but ever since you started seeing and working with him, you found yourself often messing up, and you didn't know why.

you found yourself grumbling and gripping the string of bandage that was meant to cover your eyes. "damnit, it got cut off short earlier."

"something wrong, belladonna?" dazai noticed the look of dismay across your features as he admired your heaven-like eyes that were unveiled. seeing your eyes was a rare occurrence since you always have them covered up for some reason.

"i don't have anything to cover my eyes with." you sighed, combing white loose strands of hair away from your hair with both of your hands. "if it wasn't for that orange-haired bastard, i would still have my favorite ray-ban glasses," you scoffed.

dazai proceeded to squat right next to you, tipping his head to the side, blinking. "why do you cover them anyway? your eyes are beautiful."

usually, his flirtatious remarks meant nothing to you, but somehow, hearing that roll from his tongue made your face warm and heart skip a beat. what the hell was he doing? why were you feeling this way?

"oh, are you blushing belladonna?~" dazai softly gasped at how pink dusted your cheekbones as you looked at him with wide eyes.

"no! i'm not!" you cried out, immediately hanging your head low, the white locks of your hair fell on your face to hide it like a curtain. "i don't cover my six eyes for show, dazai-kun."

"then, why do you cover them?"

god did you hate how his touch could always break through your infinity, but this time, maybe you could make an exception. you felt a much larger hand took hold of your face, gently squeezing and lifting it, forcing you to look straightforward into a pair of brown eyes.

"i cover them to stay human." you really were trying to pull yourself together as the warmth of his hand and close proximity was messing with your head and heart. it was making you sweat. too close, you thought. dazai was so close to you right now. "i see the world differently with them and if i leave them uncovered for too long, it takes a toll on me."

"a blessing and a curse at the same time, hmm? poor girl." a soft chuckle erupted from his throat as he squeezed your flushed cheeks together. "it's such a shame. your eyes remind of heaven. it's feels like i almost died and you pulled me back to life, darling."

"heaven?" you blinked in confusion.

"mhm, speaking of heaven, i want you to be my heaven." with that, dazai took hold both of your hands instead and flashed you a smile.

"your what? what are you saying?"

the gears in your head were tuning for quite sometime. all of the possibilities that your six eyes were giving you right now was giving your stomach butterflies—the good kind. the kind feels like fireworks. the anticipating was building up in your chest as he leaned towards your face only to realize that he wasn't kissing you yet.

"my heaven on earth."

opening your eyes, you realized that dazai had pulled out a roll of bandages from the pocket of his brown coat and began to wrap them around your eyes, but little did you know, dazai already got his finger wrapped around your heart, just like you had his.

"fuck you! i thought you were going to kiss me." you immediately shot as soon as dazai had finished wrapping bandages to cover your eyes.

"oh, you wanted me to kiss you? have you finally fallen for me darling?" a smile had curved on his lips as his eyes seemed to light up with hope.

"hell no!" you exclaimed, only to receive his laughter in return. the same laughter you used to be annoyed at, but instead, it sounded like lovely bells in your ears.

dazai took hold of your face and leaned close again, but this time, he pressed his lips on yours, full but quick, leaving you a blushing and frozen mess on the spot.

pulling away, he pressed his lips near your ear and whispered, "it has always been you from the moment we met, i like you too, and i meant it when i said i found my heaven on earth."

the feeling had always been mutual.

nakahara chuuya !

chuuya absolutely hated you when the two of you first met, and it was the same for you. you two were like cats and dogs, constantly yelling at each other, him expressing his dislike for you and you biting back with sarcastic and possibly flirtatious banter. he broke your favorite ray-ban glasses and straight punched you, which hurt like you getting run over by a semi-truck, and your attitude towards him reminded you of a certain mackarel.

after dealing with port mafia regarding the whole ambushing and stealing of information on sugawara michizane and his descendant, which is you, they were able to get affiliated with the higher-ups in tokyo. despite the peace and order that higher-ups oversee in your city, you knew how those damn elders weren't always saints. not only were they infuriating conversatives, a lot of them are actually involved in smuggling and drug-related deals in secret, but of course you knew that. you weren't blind, and you weren't the inheritor of the six eyes for nothing.

however, this only meant that you and chuuya saw each other and worked together frequently, and for some reason, mori and the elders kept pairing the two of you together, and eventually the secrets that you two had kept for so long came out.

scenario with nakahara chuuya !

"oi, gojo! what the hell are you doing?"

the two of you had just finished dealing with traitors both from the mafia and the group of higher-ups from tokyo, your city, when the gravity manipulator noticed you swaying side to side as you sauntered towards him with a hand covering your eyes.

"i'm coming, i'm coming. give me a minute, would ya?" you bit back rather bitterly, as if you were infuriated, and yes, you actually were.

"well, hurry up. we've got to report back." chuuya scoffed at you, but worry eventually washed over him. it was unusual for you to be so slow and agitated over something. "you're not hurt, are you? gojo?"

you lost your footing, and the next thing chuuya knew, you collapsed and fell forward. the gravity manipulator was caught off guard. he yelled your name and dashed over to your side. this isn't possible. you were the user with the limitless ability. with the exception of a bandaged bastard, nothing passes through your infinity, not even him. did you make a mistake and get hurt as a result? it immediately piqued his genuine concern for you.

"gojo? can you hear me? are you okay? what the fuck happened to you?!" chuuuya's pupils dilated. you constantly reared your infinity to keep him from touching you, but this time he couldn't feel the invisible force stopping him. he had no trouble holding you right now. "gojo!"

"stop yelling! you're making it worse!" you turned to face him, clutching the sides of your head, revealing your heaven sent eyes, which reminded him of a beautiful aquamarine gemstone. "keep it down, please."

please? you? talking to him politely? oh, this was definitely serious.

"s-sorry." chuuya was perplexed, and this time he spoke in a much softer tone because he couldn't help but stare into your eyes. they were simply too beautiful. those six eyes of yours had grown to be something he admired and admired. "what's wrong?"

"i lost the bandages for my eyes. i don't have anything to cover them, and it's hurting so much right now. i shouldn't have used the six eyes. i should have let you handle it." you exhaled sharply, closing your eyes shut as you tightened your grip on chuuya.

"is that.. why you cover them up?" chuuya asked, eyes narrowing with curiosity.

"yes, so i don't overuse them. why do you think i wear the darkest tinted glasses? for fashion?" you managed a small laugh. "it's to keep this goddamn curse at bay."

chuuya felt guilty that instant. when he and dazai first met you, he broke your ray-bans. chuuya made a mistake. he had always assumed you were like his old partner, trying to appear "cool" and such, but you were so much more. chuuya got to know you better as time passed. outside of the scuffled insults you hurled at each other, you were a person he secretly admired, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't adore those lovely eyes of yours. it was such a shame that they were cursed as much as they were blessed.

"here, use this."

chuuya had taken a black handkerchief from the pocket of his black dress pants and wrapped it around your eyes to cover them before you could react. he tied the ends of the handkerchief into a knot, ensuring that they cover your eyes securely and do not fall off. It wasn't much, but it would suffice for now.

"better?" chuuya asked, pulling away from you to see you staring at him with an indecipherable expression.

his brow furrowed. you were deafeningly quiet. "oi, gojo. why are you all quiet?"

"huh? oh, sorry. i just didn't expect you to be this nice," you said bluntly, earning a protuded nerve on chuuya's temple as he scowled at you. "because, you know, you always seemed to have a stick up your ass."

"i helped you this one time, and this is what i get in return? tch, go to hell!" chuuya scoffed as he turned away from you, folding his arms across his chest.

a smirk crept on your face as you watched chuuya's little outburst. "heh, cute."

"yeah, yeah. whateve—wait, what?" chuuya's eyes widened in realization.

"are you deaf? i said cute!" you raised your voice with a challenging tone building up, "want me to repeat it for you? c-u-t-e."

"stop that! if anything, you're the cutest one over here. actually, no—scratch that. you're goddamn beautiful, you know?" chuuya exclaimed, and this time, the tables were turned, and you were caught off guard. "you always make it difficult for me to look at you when those six eyes of yours are uncovered because every time i see them, i think of heaven on earth!"

"did you just confess to me? nakahara chuuya-kun?" you muttered quiet, cheeks turning beet red as they had heated up.

chuuya's face eventually flushed, as did yours. you watched him stammer and struggle with his words. with that, you and the gravity manipulator fell silent. despite being surrounded by corpses, unconscious bodies, and debris beneath the moonlight, something about the tension between you was on.

"i like you, gojo [name]," chuuya cleared his throat, breaking the silence between you and him. "the way we fight every time makes me honestly feel like we're just in love, and god you make me lose my mind every single time. there i said it.." he exhaled softly.

"i like you too, nakahara chuuya." a smile graced your lips as you yanked down the handkerchief he covered your eyes with.

hearing chuuya's voice had somehow overcome the pain coursing through your head as a result of your six eyes, and all you could feel was comforting peace and quiet.

"really?" chuuya blinked profusely at you, which you nodded your head at. "o-oh, wow. i thought you were just messing with me."

"so, do you wanna kiss me, boyfriend?" you flashed him a wink.

"don't mind if i do." chuuya grinned with confidence this time, leaning in closer until the gap between the two of you was closed, and just like that, your lips met as you and him fit together like puzzle pieces in each other's grasp.

chuuya had always liked you, and you had always liked him, but neither of you dared to admit it. this time, this night in particular, proved to be different, and it just so happened to be one of the many nights you were thankful for. the timing wasn't perfect for either of you, and everything wasn't exactly in place, but it worked out.

fyodor dostoevsky !

this man was undecipherable.

unpredictable as a cat one could say.

something about him was so enticing and mysterious that you couldn't help but let down your walls for him. but what about fyodor? you were nothing more than a pawn. the perfect chess piece for him to use to carry out the lord's will and become a god himself he has you, the descendant of sugawara michizane; the holder of the six eyes, wrapped around his finger with ease, or so he thinks.

in terms of attitude and belief, you reminded him of a certain no longer human ability user, but you were different in some ways. why did you always appear to be a goddess in his eyes?

why is it that every time he sees you, especially those heavensent eyes of yours, all he can think about is you and heaven on this sinful earth? you were supposed to be the one who was bewitched by him, so why is he feeling this way about you? fyodor felt as if his head and heart were at odds. it was bizarre. he'd never felt this way about someone before. for the first time, his heart was racing. it was such a strange feeling. he was crazy about you. it was also addictive in some ways.

scenario with fyodor dostoevsky !

everything his mind desired was at odds with his heart, and it all began when he met you, a sinner and ability user. were you, in fact, a demon? perhaps a temptress or a god? after all, you were a descendant of sugawara michizane. your ability and six eyes were something you inherited from the god of the skies himself.

"hello, darling." fyodor spoke up after some time. "the moon is beautiful tonight, isn't it?"

it wasn't uncommon for the two of you to cross paths. this criminal was practically everywhere, but he was mostly found in yokohama. according to the information you gathered, he was fyodor dostoevsky. a complex individual who believes in carrying out the lord's will of achieving a world free of the sin of ability users, and he needs the book to do so.

it was wrong, at first. that was your first initial thought when you first met him that night; when he told you his goal and identity. to play god and bring forth death as a way of cleansing everyone, but then, it got to you somehow. fyodor wasn't wrong about people in a way. people were sinfully foolish. even the world you live in was filled with greed, the higher-ups and elders from your city were those exact people. the more you thought of it, the wrongs became right.

so, you affiliated with him in secret. you desired change as well; change for the world. you had enough of people like those goddamn elders. so what if you were to kill? to commit crime? it's comparable to poison and medicine. one kills and one saves, but consider this: too much medicine can kill you. to serve light, you must work in the dark, as twisted and contradictory as that may sound.

however, your relationship with this man had evolved into something else. it wasn't just his beliefs and ideals that you had come to accept and love, but also him, and he knew.

"it is." you answered in response, sauntering towards him. "reminds me of the first time we met."

holding conversations like had become a habit for you and fyodor.

"indeed. it was a dark, moonlit night just like this." fyodor softly chuckled before turning to face you with a deep sigh. "i've been meaning to tell you... or rather, ask you something."

"and what's that?" behind the black blindfold that covered your eyes, you raised a brow.

clearing his throat, fyodor asked, "what is love to you?"

"what's with the question, fyodor?" you now furrowed your brows, confused. this was a topic that fyodor had never shed light on.

"i'm just curious what you think of love, that's all, dear." fyodor smiled at you, but there was something off about his smile. it wasn't sinister in nature, but it was odd, and you couldn't pin it down.

"what is love to me, huh?" you leaned against the wall, your chin resting between your thumb and index finger. "well, love is a sin and a curse to me."

"huh, that's an interesting choice of words," fyodor remarked, somewhat surprised. "how so?"

"well, if you fall in love with someone who doesn’t love you, it’s a curse. if you fall in love with someone who belongs to someone else, it’s a sin. if you fall in love for the wrong reasons, with the wrong person only to realize later that you can’t stand them, it’s a sin and a curse." you began, "but then again, i guess that depends on the person."

"i see, well, if love is a sin, then i guess I'm living a lie," fyodor said in response.

"and why is that?" you asked, your eyes narrowing.

"because hell would be my paradise. if that's really the case, then why do i find myself in paradise with you all the time, especially when i see those six eyes of yours?" his smile widened as you stumbled backwards away from him, clearly caught off guard, and god did he love your little reaction.

right now, you weren't dreaming. were you? fyodor wouldn't say that. you yanked your blindfold down to your neck right away. with your six eyes, you had to know. as soon as your eyes met fyodor's keen yet deep purple eyes, you found it difficult to breathe. all possibilities of him lying were rejected by your six eyes.

"do you think i'm lying, darling?" fyodor asked, chuckling and amused by your reaction and look right now. "or is it because you feel the same way? are you afraid you've fallen in love with someone who doesn't love you?"

"you knew this whole time?" you swallowed thickly, blinking profusely.

"you're not difficult to read, well, maybe sometimes you are, but yes. i've seen the way you look at me with those eyes of yours, you know. love might be blind, but i'm not," fyodor said as he sauntered towards you, catching you off guard that you had forgotten to activate your infinity.

"i've realized that it's not just the world i want to save, the sinners i want to purify. i want you to be the heaven to my hell," he whispered softly, his breath kissing your delicate skin. "now you don't have to be worried about love being a sin and a curse."

it was quite warm. your face was incredibly warm as of this moment. every inch of your body was quivering from a rush of adrenaline, an extremely high but addictive sensation that you can't get enough of. he, too, felt the same way.

with that, he drew you closer together, pressing his lips against yours and engulfing you in his grip, preventing you from ever escaping. it was evident by now that this man had no intention of letting you go, and you didn't mind. fyodor has made love your new favorite crime to commit.