#going to the bathroom

[kissingstarlight]

With great power comes great responsibility 👀

[i-am-a-fan]

no no. you misheard me. I don’t have executive dysfunction, i have executive MALfunction. I’m doing everything i need to do except what i actually need to do AND doing it all poorly.

[rjmbaboonbooks]

Daily Comic Journal: July 17, 2022: "The Puffier It Is The Harder It Falls."

Yes, unlike all the routines by women comedians, I, a man, lifts the seat of the toilet seat up when urinating and  closes it when done. But those puffy seats (as well as those seats with the thick, knitted seat covers that I’ve seen before) make it nearly impossible to do the right thing.

[millidew]

his change in career has captivated me

bonus:

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[i-was-going-to]

Executive dysfunction is such bullshit.

Me: I am experiencing physical discomfort. I know and am able to perform the steps to relieve the discomfort. They are not difficult, unpleasant, or time consuming. I should get up and take those steps.

My brain: No.

Me: I know they'll help. I just need to pause what I'm currently doing and do the things. Afterwards, I can go right back to what I'm doing.

My brain: Still no.

Me: What do you mean no? Why not?

My brain: Because I said so.

Me: I'm getting more uncomfortable as each minute passes. Just do it.

My brain: Nope.

Me: I hate you.

My brain: Stop hitting hating yourself.

Me: I'm gonna go tell Tumblr what an asshole you are.

My brain: That's fine. But while you're doing that, you'll remain acutely aware of that physical discomfort I'm still not letting you fix.

Also, fuck you. Here's some anxiety and shame to go along with your physical discomfort. *Plays childhood memory montage of all the times an adult said "you could do anything if you would just apply yourself*

You could do it if you really wanted to. You're just lazy.

Me: I hate you.

My brain: Ooh a pattern! Brains love patterns!

[sleepydreamyrose]

Does anyone else try to hold off the urge to get up and go to the bathroom and try to just go to sleep knowing damn well you can’t go to sleep until you’ve gone to the bathroom? But like you don’t wanna leave you bed cuz it’s so cozy and warm and you’re FINALLY in the perfect most comfortable position… and you don’t wanna have to go into the dark where it’s scary even if you do put the light on a moment later. And like you know for a fact that as soon as you go to the bathroom, come back you’ll be able to sleep and you’ll be out like a light but you still struggle with that feeling of like I don’t wanna move, I’ll just try and go to sleep but I can’t bc I really need the loo.

[gideonisms]

we don't think enough about the fact that pyrrha dve had to get up every day and go to her construction job. She was mourning the last polycule while starting the next one (btw everyone in both polycules was doomed to die including pyrrha herself) but she literally still had to get up and go to her shifts... she was on that minimum wage grind the whole time... however much credit we give her we don't give her enough

[rawstrap]

I've seen people say terf rhetoric is any hatred of men and I've seen people say terf rhetoric is anything transphobic said by anyone. the refusal to actually engage with the reality that terfism is primarily focused on oppressing trans women is in itself a form of transmisogyny. yes they hate all trans people, but it is quite easy to see who they primarily target with their words, actions and policies, you just don't want to care about trans women. claiming someone is a man hater doesn't mean you get to call them a terf or a radfem, thats an obvious, willfull dilution and denial of what terfs are.

[freshbeeth]

two queens maximizing their joint slay

[gattaxa]

YELENA BELOVA in THUNDERBOLTS* (2025) dir. Jake Schreier

When all you have left to hold on to is a green tactical vest, a tub of hair gel, and a stolen guinea pig.

Bonus:

[transkeiichi]

my dads shitty fox news i walked in on was a trump woman announcing "one party knows what a woman is, and the other thinks men can get pregnant and we need tampons in boys bathrooms" but tell me more abt how im not a target of transphobia and i need to keep my mouth shut and know my place as a perpetual shield and uplifter of other trans voices due to my inherent male privledge and lack of ever being oppressed for my identity

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The girls are back (from the grave)

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[blood-and-breath]

FUCK IT. SAW BATHROOM CAKE.

this was such a labour of love I don’t even know how many hours I’ve put into this now but happy birthday to me!!!! the cake is red velvet, the walls are sugar cookie and everything except for the figures, toilet and small accessories are edible. I��m so happy with how it turned out peace and love on planet saw

[morganbritton132]

Eddie during a Q&A where he specially asked his fans to ask him questions about his marriage: Oh, just saw the question who proposed to who and-

Steve, loudly off-camera: I proposed to him and he said no!

Eddie: …first of all, you couldn’t even get gay married at the time. And second, I said no because I-

Steve: He said no because he wanted to propose to me and then DIDN’T

Eddie: I did!

Steve: A year later.

Eddie: I had to plan! I had to prep! I wasn’t going to halfass our gay fake wedding!

Eddie: And, just for your information, internet! He’s complaining and he’s making me look bad but do you know what he did? Do you know what he did the next day? I put together this beautiful ceremony with all our friends and family and you know what he did the very next day?

Eddie: He went to the courthouse and married a woman!

Steve: …Well that was for tax benefits

[farfallasims]

Evergreen Guest Bathroom 🌲