i-was-going-to

[i-was-going-to]

Everybody stop what you’re doing RIGHT NOW and celebrate the last Out of Touch Thursday of 2020

[i-was-going-to]

[i-was-going-to]

no other anime woman can compare to hana. it was love at first sight for me...

[i-was-going-to]

you're humming. Santa's cheating on Mrs Claus And you're humming. Santa's committing blatant adultery with an ingénue sugar baby w/ the voice of an angel Eartha Kitt. and you're SINGING ALONG

[i-was-going-to]

[i-was-going-to]

Third time's the charm.

My (extended) family decided several years back that everyone purchasing gifts for everyone is too expensive, so we decided to start doing a family white elephant gift exchange every year instead.

This year, I decided I would buy a tortilla blanket as my gift after seeing them online many times. This turned out to be a very fortuitous decision on my part.

We start the gift exchange, people are opening gifts, etc and its all normal until it gets to my brother's girlfriend. She picks a gift, opens it, and lo and behold it is my tortilla blanket I brought. She loves it. On the next turn, my cousin steals it from her. She's devastated but picks another gift to open.

It's another tortilla blanket.

She is, of course, elated at this turn of events. But now it is my turn, and I decide I shall steal the blanket from her. Everyone thinks this is hilarious (except for her, she's absolutely devastated again). She picks another gift and opens it.

It's a third tortilla blanket.

As it turns out, three of us, completely independently of each other, decided to purchase a tortilla blanket as our gift to bring to the exchange.

[i-was-going-to]

I havent seen the oops wrong home comic this year...

Happy Holidays everyone! :^D

[i-was-going-to]

Happy Crowy Yule! It's a reall whose who of Yuletide.

[i-was-going-to]

[i-was-going-to]

Me: Yes sir I understand that the office door cannot be closed when two colleagues of opposite gender are alone together due to sexual misconduct concerns but as an openly bisexual employee I have to ask if leaving two colleagues of the same gender entirely unsupervised isn't a double standard

Me: Like. I feel I should also have my ass covered if a same-gender colleague accuses me of shit, you know

Bossman: Nahhhhhhh it's good

The morally grey cathedral goblin that lives on my shoulder and judges the value of my kneejerk impulses: If you grabbed his ass right now he would learn such an important lesson forever but we don't roll like that bro

Me: (out loud) Okay

[i-was-going-to]

you could never make blazing saddles today. movies take a really long time to film and it's already 11am on the west coast. also most actors and film staff would probably like to spend christmas eve with their families.

[i-was-going-to]

People always talk about going to the city for an education but you can’t learn shit in the city. I’m talking to these mother fuckers and they know absolutely nothing about spontaneous combustion due to improper hay storage. They don’t know how to outrun an alligator. No life skills whatsoever.

[i-was-going-to]

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[i-was-going-to]

Ok, I've seen this sentiment before, but the amount of Kindle Unlimited ads I've been seeing is forcing me to repeat it-

Kindle Unlimited is offering two free months of unlimited ebooks. As a trial. Which will then become a paid subscription.

Your local library is offering unlimited ebooks all the time. Forever. No contracts, no predatory practices, no tracking of how long you spend on each particular page in the hopes that information about your habits can be sold for a profit.

Use your library. They want so badly to give you all of the things for free.

[i-was-going-to]

Ok, I've seen this sentiment before, but the amount of Kindle Unlimited ads I've been seeing is forcing me to repeat it-

Kindle Unlimited is offering two free months of unlimited ebooks. As a trial. Which will then become a paid subscription.

Your local library is offering unlimited ebooks all the time. Forever. No contracts, no predatory practices, no tracking of how long you spend on each particular page in the hopes that information about your habits can be sold for a profit.

Use your library. They want so badly to give you all of the things for free.

[i-was-going-to]

this shit fucked me up