#going to skeep now

[finely-tuned-line]

OOC:

to the very small amount of people that actually check this blog (its probably mostly just klug, hi klug!! youre v cool), there shall be no ftl log tonight! i dont have a reason, mostly just getting tired of writing those! ill think of an excuse later... i have Plans

anygays thats that o7

(sidenote: the comment abt no one checking this blog is NOT passive-aggressive or smth, its just a statement that may or may not be true. it just sounds silly, so i said ithdskf)

[autisticlee]

random thing just thought about. used to love complimenting people. especially friends. made them feel good and was nice. then had experiences where got accused of things like flirting or being "creepy" and even lying by people who argue and say shitty things about themselves constantly. so stopped complimenting people and afraid to do it now ����

[fandomchaosposts]

it appears that I have fucked up

[dead-but-still-magic]

I'll give you nightmares dont test me

[creepyclothdoll]

The King of Crash Nation

Skeep: Hey cringebros and cringebabes– no intro today, you read the title, you saw the thumbnail, no this isn’t clickbait. We have a very special guest today who you might recognize. Now, you might think I’m sitting across from Cass “Cash” “Crash” Bellamy, also known as “The Keyblade Master of Financial Freedom,” also known as “Keyblade Karen,” but you might be wrong.  

Crash: You would be wrong. 

Skeep: I’ve been talking to my guest for awhile already, and I have to say, I’m flummoxed. I’m not gonna say I believe everything you’re saying, but I think it’s worth listening to.

Crash: Listen, if I wasn’t experiencing this myself, I would think I was insane. I’m… honestly still not sure. Logically, I understand that some sort of psychotic break is the most likely explanation for what I’m– 

Skeep: Before we get to the good stuff, I just wanna thank our sponsor for today, GRIX. GRIX is a beverage subscription service you can trust. Not only do GRIX beverages have anywhere between two to five times the caffeine of standard energy drinks, but every drink is packed with 200 different minerals. Take the standard number of minerals in food and multiply that by a hundred, that’s how many diverse minerals are in these drinks. Some of these minerals you’ll only find in GRIX. Make sure you use a VPN when you sign up for GRIX. GRIX comes in discreet packaging to throw off any prying government eyes at the post office, so don’t be shy! GRIX: It’s Too Alpha For The FDA! (Skeep takes a long drink from a black jug with a fluorescent label)

Crash: (Long sigh)

Skeep: So, why don’t you introduce yourself?

Crash: Sure. Of course. Hello, everyone, you recognize me as Cassidy Bellamy. But my name is Elizabeth Ann Coen. I’m from a small town in Illinois, and I’ve been a teacher for the last twenty years. High school, middle, and elementary, but mostly middle school. Three weeks ago, I went to sleep in my own bed, next to my husband, and when I woke up I was Cassidy Bellamy. 

Skeep: That must have been a shock. That’s my personal nightmare, no offense.

Crash: No offense taken, Darren. No personal offense, I mean. 

Skeep: You know how crazy that sounds. That’s the craziest part, guys, I’m not kidding, he knows– she– they– 

Crash: She.

Skeep: Liz, can I call you Liz?

Crash: (Another sigh) I suppose you can. 

Skeep: Liz knows how crazy this sounds, that’s what I’m trying to say. And that’s crazy, because Crash would never. I mean, the Crash that we all know and love– or hate– 

Crash: I’m well aware of Cass Bellamy’s long history of delusional behavior and compulsive lying. I wish I wasn’t. 

Skeep: Assuming this is true– and, cringebros and cringebabes, this is just hypothetical– assuming this is all hypothetically true, had you heard of Crash before you… became him?

Crash: I actually had. Like I said, I’m a teacher. You’d be shocked at some of the things kids are watching online. I always think I’ve heard it all, and then someone drops something like “CashMunnyCoin” on me, “oh, did you hear the Keyblade Karen Meltdown guy is launching a cryptocurrency?” “oh, did you hear the Sora MLM fanfiction guy is going to jail for identity theft?” I’d heard the major beats of the story, but I didn’t realize it was all the same guy until I woke up in Cass Bellamy’s body. 

Skeep: Just hearing those words come out of your mouth is like… I’m having an out-of-body experience right now.

Crash: Tell me about it.

Skeep: (Surprised laughter)

Crash: I think that if I had woken up as literally anyone else, maybe people would have believed me. Or, at least, maybe someone would have believed me. 

Skeep: Crash– Liz– I want to believe you. I really do. Listen, I knew Crash as he was better than, I think, almost anyone except Jimspore and Sorasins, who obviously don’t count because they’re assholes. I’ve been following this guy– you– for twelve years. Crash does not talk the way you’re talking to me right now. And I’ve never seen Crash dressed that nicely, unless you count cosplay, and even then, his cosplay is shit. 

Crash: (Nodding patiently) One of the first things I did, once I was in a mental state to do things, was to go to the thrift store and buy some nicer clothes. You know, not the sort of thing I would wear– but just a few nice, coordinated outfits. At first, I went for the sorts of things I wished my son would wear. Then I realized I was tending to go for androgynizing clothes, and I figured that was probably where I was most comfortable, given the situation. So it’s been a lot of these turtlenecks, a lot of these cardigans. In this body, I can pull off green very nicely, which was never the case in my real body. It made me look sickly. 

Skeep: And you look good! I never thought I’d say this, guys, but Crash looks good. It just goes to show what a little effort can do for a guy. Like it can’t replace being toned, but it helps a lot. And, might I say, you actually look a little more toned than usual, too.

Crash: I’ve been going on lots of walks. Cass doesn’t have a job. So I walk most of the day, now. There are some nice places to walk around Las Vegas, which I never expected. 

Skeep: Yeah, the hiking out there’s pretty amazing, I hear. Hey– just for contrast, guys, let’s watch a clip of Crash on our podcast with SlimeTimeJohn last year.

(The screen cuts to a past recording in a different, smaller studio. Cass Bellamy, dressed in full Sora cosplay, is ranting to two black-clad hosts in matching beanies holding jugs of GRIX).

Crash: Why should I pay taxes when I’m reinvesting in my hustle? The government is the real pyramid scheme! 

Skeep: Crash, Crash, Crash, you don’t pay taxes?! Crash, that’s a federal crime, you dumb piece of shit. 

SlimeTimeJohn: You’re live on camera. Folks, Crash Bellamy just admitted to tax fraud. Someone get the IRS in chat.

Crash: I never said that.

SlimeTimeJohn: You fucking said it just now!

Crash: I pay my taxes! I pay my taxes! I pay my taxes! 

Skeep: Stop yelling! Stop yelling! Stop yelling! You fucking asshole. Jesus fucking christ. 

Crash: There are pawns of darkness everywhere. There are pawns of darkness everywhere, and you know it because you are one. You know, you could become a good person if you actually read my books.

SlimeTimeJohn: Oh, I’ve read your plagiarized books. They’re garbage. Blocks of text copy-pasted from Kingdom Hearts fan wikis and generic motivational quotes. 

Skeep: What’s in your books that could possibly make anyone a better person? Crash, I think just by talking to you, I become a worse person every day. I used to have hobbies, man, but now it’s just… finding out what new bullshit Crash is up to and reacting to it.

Crash: You’re just jealous of my entrepreneurial spirit! The spirit of Sora! The spirit of Financial Freedom!

Skeep: (Laughing) That’s the clip that went viral. I think you– he– also said something about how Jeff Bezos wasn’t spiritually evolved enough to understand Kingdom Hearts?

Crash: I’ll be honest– I don’t understand Kingdom Hearts. 

Skeep: OHHH!!! Mike, clip that. That’s gonna go viral. That’s gonna be everywhere tomorrow.

Crash: I was a little too old for it when it came out, and my kids never really got into it. I’ve done some… research, in the last few weeks. The plot seems very difficult to follow, though.

Skeep: Well, now we know you’re not the real Crash. 

Crash: I wish you meant that. 

Skeep: Honestly, hand to god, I do, too. Now, Liz, can you tell us a little more about your life in Illinois?

Crash: Yes. I’m married, and I have two children. My hometown is sort of a tourist town, but only really for history buffs. I could go into more detail about where I’m from, but I don’t want to dox my family, if… if they still exist. We have a good school district. Nice old brownstone buildings. Lots that survived the Civil War. It’s a good place to live if you love history, like me. And it’s beautiful, too. Not like Vegas. Right on a river, lots of green space. I went to college a few towns over and got my Bachelor’s in Education. I always knew I wanted to teach history. My mom was a museum curator at the… well, one of the big important historical houses in our town. I’m considered very good at my job– I have to be, because if you want to teach history, you want to teach history there. It’s about as competitive as any middle school teacher position could be. 

Skeep: Hold on. You said your family might not still exist? What do you mean by that?

Crash: I looked myself up. My social media pages are gone. I can’t log in to any of my old accounts. I’m not listed as faculty at the school I was teaching at just three weeks ago. There are women with the same name as me, but none of them have much else in common. For all intents and purposes, I never existed. Elizabeth Ann Coen never existed.

Skeep: But have you tried to look up your husband? Your kids? Your parents?

Crash: I can’t bring myself to do that. 

Skeep: Because you’re scared they won’t be there?

Crash: Yes. And because I’m equally scared that they will. Because then, I’d have to contend with the idea of attempting to contact them. And I don’t want to subject them to that. I can’t imagine how scary it would be for my family to have someone like Cass Bellamy– with his record as a very unstable scam artist– approach them with all of this personal information claiming to be their wife, mother, or daughter. And it might be even worse if I find out they exist, but I choose not to contact them. That’s too terrible to even think on. And then… if they are simply gone… if they just never existed… that’s more awful than if they were dead. 

Skeep: We just got a gift from Spunk Z., thank you Spunk Z! Mods, control the chat– nobody’s taking their shirt off in the studio today. Unless? Liz?

Crash: That’s part of the reason I chose your show. I know that, if they really are out there, they’ll never see this. 

Skeep: I take offense to that. But I get it, you raised your kids right. Assuming they’re real. 

Crash: You joke, but yes. 

Skeep: No answer to taking your top off? 

Crash: I’m not going to do that. 

Skeep: If you’re telling the truth, they’re not really your nipples. 

Crash: That’s why I’m not going to do it. I want to give this other person’s body privacy and respect. As much as I can, anyway. 

Skeep: That’s more than the real Crash would ever say. If you really want to respect Crash, you should have come here in a knock-off Sora hoodie with a full-size bag of Takis. 

Crash: There’s give and take. 

Skeep: What’s Crash’s diet like? Or I guess, what’s your diet like as Crash? Rumor has it, he only eats hot chips and his shits are bright red. Is that true?

Crash: I eat what I can afford. Right now, that’s mostly Ramen. It got me through college, so I’m not unfamiliar with this diet. I’m smarter about using food pantry programs now, after two decades of living on a public school teacher’s salary. 

Skeep: Right. Because Crash is totally bankrupt and facing a bunch of lawsuits for fraud and shit.

Crash: Which I’m charmingly reminded of every time I leave his apartment. 

Skeep: That must have been an adjustment, getting used to Crash’s adoring fans. 

Crash: I’d call them stalkers. 

Skeep: Some of Crash Nation can go overboard. Better not be any of you cringebros or cringebabes misbehaving! Did you know who you were right away? What was it like, waking up in another person’s body?

Crash: At first, I thought maybe I’d broken a bone or pulled muscles or something. There was no pain, but everything about me felt wrong. My legs, too long. My neck, too short. All the weight was in the wrong places, and there was skin in new places, and no skin in other places– I felt like I was wearing a strange suit, glued to my bones. The reflection in the mirror was a total stranger. I don’t think I need to explain that it was a nightmare. But discovering the identity of this man– this human suit I was now trapped in– was worse.

Skeep: I bet. 

Crash: People are constantly trying to approach me. They’ll sit outside of the apartment, they’ll honk their horns to keep me awake, they’ll film me and call me. When I first tried to reach out for help on social media, people messaged me with all kinds of threats and just weird, mean stuff, but the worst ones were the ones who acted like they really wanted to help me, like they believed me. They were the cruelest. I picked up very quickly on the fact that I was living the life of a very, very unpopular person, and a very, very popular target.

Skeep: You mentioned you couldn’t get into your social media as Liz. But you can get into Crash’s Twitter and stuff. That’s very interesting.

Crash: His phone was already logged in to them. It unlocks with facial recognition. 

Skeep: At least that’s convenient. 

Crash: At the very very least, it got me in contact with you. I’m sure you wouldn’t have taken an interview with someone from a strange new account, coming at you with this premise.

Skeep: Well, you never know. I’m flattered you chose my show, though. I’m sure, if you keep this story up, you’ll get real popular with the freak circuit, astral projection and past lives and switching bodies and shit. Glad I got to be first in line to hear it.

Crash: You were one of the only people on earth who would take an interview with Cass Bellamy. And of my limited options, you were the shock jock who had been the most fair to him in the past. 

Skeep: “Shock Jock?” I don’t know if I like that. 

Crash: Sorry. It’s what we called this sort of thing in my day. 

Skeep: How old are you, Liz?

Crash: Forty-eight. 

Skeep: A tight forty-eight? Or have those years and two kids taken their toll? 

Crash: Let’s move on, Darren.

Skeep: No shame, Liz, we love MILFS on this channel.

Crash: Sure. I’m a MILF.

Skeep: Mike, clip that. And, Liz, how long is this tenancy going to last, do you think? Is this a temporary thing, or is Crash just gone and Liz here to stay forever?

Crash: I don’t know. I pray, constantly, that I’ll wake up at home again. I’ll be back with my family. Even if… well, I’ve imagined that maybe if I’m here, in Cass’s body, maybe Cass is in mine, somewhere else. In some other world. The world where Elizabeth Coen exists. You know what terrifies me most about that?

Skeep: The idea that Crash Bellamy is turning your whole life upside-down and probably getting you sent to prison or a mental institution and scaring the shit out of your kids?

Crash: Well, yes, but also, no… it’s that in my reality, I know I had heard of the Keyblade Karen. I’d heard of Cass Bellamy. I’d heard of CashMunnyCoin. I think one of my students even dressed up as him, dressing up as that character he likes, Sora, for Halloween. Bellamy existed in my reality, but I don’t exist here. So what does that mean? 

Skeep: You want to know what I think?

Crash: I can guess.

Skeep: Okay, go ahead. Guess.

Crash: I’ve thought it, too. Cass Belamy was– or is– a profoundly unstable person with delusions of grandeur who is facing multiple legal charges and several lawsuits at the moment. He’s bankrupt, all of his financial ventures have publicly and spectacularly failed, he owes possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars to MLM companies, he’s infamous, he’s endlessly mocked and harassed both online and in real life. His life is hell. Maybe he finally just snapped. Maybe I’m just something he made up. Another personality that he invented to take over his life and handle his problems so he didn’t have to be Cass Belamy anymore. The human mind is mysterious and terrifying. Who knows how much it can fabricate? An entire lifetime of memories, even? Knowledge of subjects, skills, possibly learned on some subconscious level, heard about in passing, memorized and kept in some deep mental record of everything we see and hear throughout a day… Maybe there really is no Elizabeth. Maybe Elizabeth’s life is just a nice dream. But if it is a dream– if I am a dream– what happens if Cass Belamy starts to wake up? Where do I go? I’m terrified that he’ll come back to himself, and I’ll be just… nonexistant, worse than if I’d died… but even more terrified that, perhaps, he’ll just slowly slip back through the cracks in me, and I’ll just… be him. I’ll just be Cass Belamy. His mind, his life, his torment, my consciousness, forever. 

Skeep: That’s not even close to what I was gonna say. I was gonna say I suspect you’ve just been pulling a fast one on us all these years, Crash. 

Crash: …What?

Skeep: I think that the real scam is Crash Bellamy. You’ve been coming on this show for years, acting all fucked-up, doing crazy stuff, making cringe tiktoks and putting out those godawful e-books, all for attention. You’ve been playing into the lolcow bit for over a decade and now you’re finally over it, once it stopped being profitable. 

Crash: Why would anyone do that? No one would do that. 

Skeep: Crash Bellamy would, if he had the brains to plan that far ahead. Maybe you didn’t make money off of it, but you got attention. And in this world, what’s the difference? Hey– thank you, Guzzler69! Appreciate the donation. Proves my point. 

Crash: Darren. This man is so financially ruined, there’s no coming back from it. You’re suggesting that Cass– that I faked being… what, an anime game fanboy who fell for a bunch of get-rich-quick schemes and then started trying to run his own? You can look up the facts of the lawsuits against him. No one in their right mind would make the financial choices this man did. 

Skeep: I’m not saying you’re in your right mind. I’m saying you’ve been smarter than you look since day one. You’re just tired of the grift. 

Crash: I– (sighs) Alright. I understand why you’d think that. And I understood when I came on this show that there was no chance I’d ever convince you of the veracity of my experience. It’s a crazy story. I’m the definition of an unreliable source. 

Skeep: But you came on the show anyway, because, Crash, the one thing that’s true about you deep down to your core is that you love attention. If you really were someone else– anyone else– anyone sane, at least– you’d stay far away from the spotlight for the rest of your life. If I woke up as Crash Bellamy, I would just drop off the face of the earth. Or worse– I can’t say what I’d do, because it’s not advertiser-friendly, but let’s just say no one would ever see Crash Bellamy ever again. 

Crash: You know, I watched your show before I came on?

Skeep: I’d sure hope you did, especially since you’ve been on it.

Crash: This thing you have here, Darren– it’s a disturbing little ecosystem. It’s exactly the same bullying that middle school children participate in. Exactly. 

Skeep: I disagree, but Crash, you’re on the internet. What do you expect?

Crash: Cass Bellamy’s original sin was never fraud or identity theft– it was always the sin of being ‘cringeworthy.’ It was that he was weird. You boys were punishing him for that long before any of this crypto business started. The bad things that Cass has legitimately done were always just excuses– they made what you were doing feel socially acceptable. 

Skeep: No, no, no. See, now I know you’re Crash. Nobody sane thinks that your crypto scam or any of your other scams are excusable just because you’re mentally ill or whatever you claim.

Crash: I’m not excusing Bellamy’s long history of attempting to run scams or stealing credit card information and so on and so on. But I watched your show, Darren. The earliest episodes. And I watched Jimspore and Sorasins and SlimeTimeJim. I’ve seen the way you and people like you chased this man around when he was just some naive eighteen-year-old kid who over-identified with a video game, and whose primary characteristic was his naivety– willing to believe that anyone offering to make him rich quick was being genuine. I’ve met plenty of children just like Cass Bellamy. Children who should have been getting extra help. Children failed by the system, and failed by their parents. And I’ve met plenty of children just like you, too, Darren. And unfortunately, the Darrens of the world outnumber the Cass Bellamys. 

Skeep: Unfortunately? You know how I know you’re full of shit, Crash? Because you haven’t said Crash this whole time. You use his given name. Everyone calls him Crash. No one calls him Cass. Everyone hates him. I think probably even his own parents hate him. 

Crash: Sometimes, teaching middle school, it’s like watching starving piranhas in a tank. They swim around in formation, hunting endlessly, hunting nothing– until one moves wrong, gets bit, starts to bleed. And once there’s blood in the water… they strip their companion’s bones in seconds. You’re on the eating side now, Darren, and I’d say you’re eating well. But you know your people. Jimspore and Sorasins and SlimeTimeJim. You know all these nice members of the chat, all your donors. You know better than I do that someday, you’ll be the one with their teeth ripping you apart.

Skeep: Wow. What do you think about that, chat? (A notification appears. Several new donations have come in.) 

Crash: ... You know… 

Skeep: What do I know, Crash?

Crash: My favorite bird is the indigo bunting.

Skeep: I did not know that.

Crash: Two springs ago, there was a pair of them in the thicket behind my house.

Skeep: Behind your house, or ‘Liz’s’ house? 

Crash: … I’m not much of a birdwatcher. I’ve got a journal I never use and some binoculars but that’s it. But there was a day when it was sort of cloudy and I could see them really well from the stoop behind my house. I won’t call it a porch, just a concrete slab that we have a lawn chair on. I stayed there for almost four hours, just sitting and watching those little birds build their nest. I’d been putting off grading all afternoon and I was determined to keep putting it off, even if it meant becoming engrossed in the dramas of birds. They came and went. They squabbled with chickadees and squirrels. I realized that one of the birds was missing a foot. A cat got it, maybe. It’s a miracle it survived as long as it did. And still, it kept building that nest. At the start of the day, there was nothing there but a branch. By the end, there was a little thing like a teacup made of sticks and feathers and hair. My daughter brought me a cup of coffee. That’s when I realized my feet were so cold, they’d gone numb. It had been the heat of the coffee that reminded me how cold I felt. And I was overcome with this realization that that’s what love is, sometimes. Because when I stood up, as I warmed myself, those numb parts started to hurt. I guess, Darren, and Darren’s chat– I hope that someday, someone brings you a cup of coffee, and you suddenly feel all the places in you that have gone numb. I hope the hurt is worth the heat. And I hope that I wake up tomorrow at home.

Skeep: Wise words from our resident spiritually enlightened Keyblade Master of Financial Freedom, Crash Bellamy. That’s our episode today, folks– any last words, ‘Liz?’

Crash: Please– if you can help me get home, or if you know someone who can help me get home, help me. Spread this around. Make Skeep famous if that’s what it takes. 

Skeep: Shockingly, a sentiment I agree with. Thanks for tuning in, cringebros and cringebabes, and remember– be nice, wash your ass, and cringe deeply, my friends. 

[huggybug]

good luck charm - luca fantilli

word count: 2.2k words

Your phone buzzed on the table, stealing your focus away from your professor’s lecture on flow state. Looking down, you see Luca’s name pop up and you sigh, pulling up the conversation on your laptop.

You’re coming tonight, right???

They were playing Ohio State tonight in the first round of playoffs and Luca had been bugging you all week about it. However, as the end of the school year was approaching, your assignments and tests seemed to start loading up and it was heavily cutting into your social life, something that your best friend was not happy about.

Not sure, have a paper due on Sunday :(

His response came back almost immediately.

Pleaseeee

You had a hard time saying no to Luca, he could almost always get you to agree to whatever it is he wanted and that truly went both ways. You liked his message and knew he’d understand.

Leaving your lecture hall an hour later, you see Luca standing alone across from the building, clutching something tightly in his hands. He’s searching the crowd of people that had formed from classes being let out and when he spots you, his entire body relaxes as you make your way over to him.

Before you can get a word out, he’s shoving the balled up sweater into your hands. “Wear my jersey tonight”

“What?” You ask, hesitantly taking his jersey from him.

“It’s playoffs, Y/n. I need you to wear my jersey” You weren’t going to pretend that you understood him. Hockey players were weird with their rituals and superstitions, you weren’t sure you even wanted to know the reasoning behind this one.

“You gonna score if I wear it?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“I’ll try” Luca smiled brightly. You both knew there was no way you’d say no so you folded the jersey up and held it against your chest.

“Good luck tonight Lu” You grin, waving the jersey at him as you walk away, making sure he knows you’ll be wearing it.

…

“You’re wearing that jersey this entire run, baby!” Luca was running off the adrenaline rush after the game as were the rest of the boys that had finally made it to Skeeps. The first win of playoffs felt even better since it was against Ohio State so the boys knew a night a Skeeps was needed.

“It’s the only reason you won, huh?” You grinned. Luca’s goal was, in all honesty, meaningless. It padded the team’s lead and you didn’t want to discredit it or him but it made it even funnier how serious he was taking the jersey you had worn.

“Of course, you’re my good luck charm” He winked. “Drinks on me tonight”

“Aren’t they every night?” You tease, grinning at him as you snag his drink from his hand and take a sip.

You spent the entire night with Luca, sitting at the tables listening to the boys talk about the game and watching some of the guys strike out with girls on the dance floor down below.

Nights at Skeeps seemed to last forever but every time without fail, Luca walked you home. Sometimes it would be him and Adam or him and Johnny, you never knew if someone else would be tagging along but without fail, Luca was there. He wouldn’t even think about not taking you home, it was practically apart of his routine now.

“You ready to go?” Luca came back from the bar, coming up to stand behind you at the table where you were talking to some of the sophomores. You spin around to face him, not realizing he had his hands on either side on you on the table, bracketing you in.

“Get a room!” Hoots and hollers from the boys around you didn’t stop even when Luca flipped them off behind your back.

“Adam coming with?” You ask. You hadn’t seen his brother in a while but you assumed he was still here.

“He’s with Seamus somewhere” Luca shrugged, “We can go now though” It seemed like he wanted to leave so you nodded, grabbing your stuff and saying goodbye to the guys.

Luca guided you out of Skeeps and you held his hand until you got outside, dropping his hand as you walked beside him on the sidewalk heading back to the dorms.

“So… Minnesota next weekend” It was going to be a tough game, especially since it wasn’t at Yost.

“Yup” Luca paused, “You’re gonna come right?”

“I don’t know… I’ve got exams and stuff” You wished you could go but you had an exam the following week so you weren’t exactly sure that a weekend trip would be the best option.

“Oh…” Luca trailed off and he sounded so sad, you had to look over at him.

“I would if I could Luca, you know that”

“Yeah, I just… wish you could come” You put your arm around his waist in attempt of a makeshift hug and his arm naturally dropped around your shoulders.

“I’ll be cheering you on from here, I promise”

…

The day of the Big10 Finals, you were sitting in your dorm while opening snaps from the boys who were all in Minnesota. They had left a couple days early and you’ve been kept up to date with everything going on thanks to Luca’s constant snaps each day.

Adam and Rutger have both texted you, complaining about how much Luca has mentioned you and it made you second guess missing the game. You looked over at Luca’s jersey that was flung over your desk chair and made a quick decision that you were getting to that game.

You found a flight that left in a couple hours and booked it immediately. Grabbing some essentials and shoving them in a bag along with the jersey, you were out the door and on your way to the airport in less than 30 minutes.

…

The game was close, you were on the edge of your seat the entire third period but in the end, they did it. You jumped up when the buzzer went off and screamed with the rest of the Michigan fans in the building.

Once the crowd had thinned out, you headed down closer to the ice; you spotted Luca’s parents and made your way over to them.

You’ve met his parents a few times from when they’ve come to games so you made small talk as you watched the other boys take turns to skate around with the trophy. When it was finally Luca’s turn, he came right near where he had already spotted his dad and then he saw you, sandwiched in between his parents, cheering just as loud as the other guys’ families and girlfriends.

Luca’s smile grew even wider when he saw that you were wearing the jersey he gave you last weekend. He stuck his tongue out at you, still balancing the trophy over his head which made you laugh as you mirrored him. It felt like time had stood still for a moment before he skated away and handed the trophy off to Adam.

You caught his gaze a few more times while they were on the ice. He still couldn’t believe you were actually here and in between hugs from Duker and Moyle, he kept finding himself looking for you.

“I’m glad you were able to make it sweetie! I think Luca was pretty upset you wouldn’t be here” You smiled at his mom as you walked together down to the locker rooms where the families were instructed to wait for the boys.

“I’m just glad he was busy all day so I couldn’t ruin the surprise” You we’re terrible at keeping secrets, especially when it came to Luca which was a well-known fact among your friends.

“Well just know that we’re both grateful you’re there to look out for both our boys but especially Luca, he’s lucky to have you” You chuckled at her first comment; Adam probably looked out for you and his brother more than anything but you didn’t say anything. You were too stuck on the last thing she said.

You were thinking about what she meant by it when the room suddenly erupted and you turned to see a bunch of the boys coming out to see their families who had made the trip to the game. You saw Adam but no Luca.

“So are you gonna talk to him?” He had made a beeline for you as soon as he came out of the locker room, barely stopping to hug his parents before pulling you aside.

“Who? Luca? About what?” You looked up at him, very confused.

“You know…”

“Adam” You groaned, becoming frustrated. “What are you talking about?”

“Your feelings! You should tell Luca tonight” Adam exclaimed, acting like it was the most obvious thing on this planet. Which apparently according to everyone other than you and Luca, it was.

“My feelings?”

“You’re telling me you would’ve flown out here if I had asked? Or Shea… or any of the guys for that matter” You hesitated at that. Adam was your friend but he had a point, you wouldn’t have considered coming here if it weren’t for Luca. Up until now, you hadn’t even thought of it. Luca was your best friend. Nothing more and nothing less.

“You know it’s not like that…”

“I think it is though” Adam huffed, “I know my brother, Y/n. He’s different when he’s around you, believe me” You take a minute to think on that before your attention is once again taken elsewhere.

“There he is!” You heard their parents talking and turned around to see Luca had finally made it out of the locker room. He hugged his parents before you saw him looking around, searching for you.

“Y/n” Luca called you and Adam sent you a knowing look before letting you go, walking back to distract his parents from his older brother to allow you to have the conversation he’s decided has to be had.

“You came” Luca mumbled as he hugged you tightly. You let your body relax into his, suddenly feeling emotional and you’re not sure what about whether it was how proud you were of him and the team or the two weird conversations you’ve just had with two people that know Luca better than anyone.

“Of course I did, it’s you” You pull back a little to look at him only to find him already smiling down at you.

“Thank you” He whispers and suddenly the air feels thick around you.

“Good job today, Lu. I’m super proud” You do a little fist pump at the end and it’s so stupid it makes you both laugh.

“Couldn’t have done it without you” He finally stepped away, awkwardly running his hands through his hair.

“Really?” You hummed.

“You’re my good luck charm Y/n/n, I’ve told you” He tugged at the jersey you were still wearing and it made you smile.

“Hey… can we talk for a minute?” You bite the inside of your cheek which of course he notices. Luca nods, pulling you out of the room and down the hallway where nobody would interrupt.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing just… your mom and Adam both said something and-”

“Oh my gosh” Luca’s cheeks turned pink as he ran his hand over his face, “I’m gonna kill them”

“Just listen for a minute?” You reached out for his hand, squeezing it to refocus. “I hadn’t even thought about this until today and Adam brought it up because you’re my best friend and I love our friendship and I wouldn’t ever want to ruin it but I think this could-” You were rambling but didn’t know how to stop, the nerves had suddenly gotten to you.

“Hey- nothing is going to ruin our friendship” He knew what you were talking about, he’s been at the brunt of Adam’s talk a few too many times. Ever since you became best friends, Adam hasn’t been able to drop the idea and after a month of denying it, Luca had taken the time to think about what his younger brother was saying and realized he was right, not that he’d ever tell him that.

“I like you Luca” You take a deep breath before looking up to meet his gaze. “I really do but I don’t want to lose you so if you don’t feel the same way-” Luca cut you off by leaning in and kissing you. You melt into the kiss, pulling him even closer if that’s possible.

“I like you too if that wasn’t obvious” Luka chuckled as he broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against yours.

“Hey lovebirds, we gotta go” Adam suddenly appeared at the end of the hallway, smirking like the little shit he is.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” You asked, stepping away but keeping his hand in yours. Their flight home wasn’t until the morning while yours was tonight.

“Yeah, see you at home” Luca grinned, kissing you one more time before following Adam, trying his best to ignore his brother’s incessant teasing.

[chiarrara]

slept four hours got woke up early for no reason got sad for no reason burnt out scrolling wrote nothing now i'm tired but i don't wanna go to bed bc i don't feel accomplished mayb ei can fantasize abou tmegumi andsumiki and firgiv mysedlfand skeep and that's okay.

[1nm806]

OK NOW IM GOING TO SKEEP FOF RREALS!!!! EXHAUSTED EEPY TIRED LOSER JACK NEEDS TO GO HONK SHOO!!!!!!!!!!! snrk mimimi

[eulchu]

Well it's 7am so if you sleep now you'll probably wake up when George does and maybe he'll stream

so i should go to skeep thank you very much .its 3am somwehre too

[columbiafawn3]

I can’t stand it in this room. It’s 5am and I haven’t slept at all tonight. I have a ski class in 4hrs where I have to ski down mountains with a whole group of people. I don’t even want to ski. I don’t like skiing. I don’t want to be here. My sister is snoring and she’s been doing it all week and it’s driving me insane.

I can’t do this anymore.

Im realising that im probably depressed again. My anxiety has been very high for a while now and im sick of pretending it’s not.

My sister runs the show with her dysfunction. It’s always like that: each family is controlled by its most dysfunctional member. Ugh I really can do this. Sleep deprivation and frustration are driving me to honestly consider suffocating her.

Snoring is just so repulsive and coarse. I’m genuinely losing my mind and the sleep deprivation isn’t helping.

I really don’t think I’ll be going to the ski lesson today because I’ll just injure myself with my lack of skeep.

Im sick of the ski fields. I need to go somewhere else, into the real world where there’s trees and people and I have my own fuckinf room

[watuhcar]

When the- the art.. 3 AM

Ahahaha- concept art- uhm

I need skeep

first one is a passive underwater bug-like creature (a bit smaller than your average Scug) with glowing patterns on its back, resembling eyes. It uses these glowing markings to scare off predators. Very nummy, two food pips. (Search up flatworm, it kinda looks/moves like that)

second one is a very big creature that floats around, mouth wide open. It just kinda.. floats, and whatever goes in its mouth goes in its mouth. Big baby, also, blind.

third one is- oh, yeah, that one’s fun. It’s based off of an underwater creature fittingly named ‘the wall of death’. A creature with electrical tendrils that it spreads about the water, kinda like a wall of death.

the last one- it’s a sundew, basically. Carnivorous plant. It grows a singular, diamond shaped item in the center of it, of which takes extreme caution to aquire. (It’s either going to be good if some kind or something very nice to trade with the scavs- like- above pearl nice. Tho if you have any interesting mechanics you’d like to suggest, asks are open ;3)

that’s it for now, I’m gonna… sleep

[connorsui]

I thought this was a full blown fic!?!?...until I realized ..THERE IS NOT ONLY A PART 2 TO THIS ...BUT A PART 3?? HELOO?? I was thinking of skeeping after this but fuck that🩷🩷YOU HAVE A WHOLE LITTLE MINI SERIES OVER HERE ...and I ain't gonna deny when I say I'm loving it so far cuz either way ....imma go to part 2 after this just to see what the hell this crazed maniac gonna pull now 🤪

But the little relationship (reader) has with (bestie)?? its lowkey so fucking cute🥺🩷.... its like looking at me and my bestie enjoying our lives in a little fucked world with a serial killer that we always dreamed of being delulu with (imma show her this fic later)

Bestie: omfg ..girl ..it's him ..it's him again

Him: *standing in the corner..breathing heavily with a literal head in his hands* 🧍‍♀️

Reader: bitch ..there go your new manz 💀 u ain't gonna chase him?

Bestie: ?? ..with this fat ass? 😭

Reader: ...*looking up and down* ..girl where? 💀

Her just looking at me ⏬️⏬️

Me tho ⏫️⏫️

BYE I LOVE YOUR PART 1 IMMA GO TO PART 2 🩷🩷🩷

☾✧꥟ 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ✧✰☀︎︎

𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐁𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐧

Yandere! Serial Killer x Reader

Mentions of blood! Mentions of Death! Mentions of mutilation! Mentions of Murder, GN! Reader, NReader/Diolouge uses a lot of black colloquialisms/AAVE *slightlyyyy black coded but only for the speaking bits. NO APPERANCE MENTIONED!* READ THE NOTE AT THE END PLZ! (●’◡’●)ﾉ Part 2 here Part 3 here

Halloween.

The day where people grasp the fact that the summer's over and the seasons have finally changed. Corny decorations on front porches, masks in windows to scare unaware customers, and people dressed as slutty cartoon characters.

You loved the last one. You’ve always worked hard on your costumes; from a small cameo in the school yearbook to entering contests and pageants. You loved fashion, everything about it. The different fabrics, colors, patterns; you cherished it all. So, it’s no wonder that’s what you’ve chosen as your destined career path. You somehow managed to get into the third most prestigious fashion school. I say third because the first one you applied for, was full of egotistical French exchange students who do nothing but compare their lives at home to their lives in America. The second… well, you don’t want to talk about it. Regardless, you’re so grateful your talents have been recognized.

That leads us to now. At the biggest fright fest of the year. Your professor decided that if everyone got at least a 95% or above on the unit test, he’d take the whole class on a field trip to the annual Freak do Shek Carnival. A free trip and creating a new costume? You’ve never studied harder in your life. You spent days working on your costume; hoping to win the annual costume contest.

“Breaking news! The killer know as the “Mask Maker” is still on the loose and is currently suspected to be in the Witchwood area. It is recommended for all residents to stay indoors travel in groups-,”

Your heart sinks.

No, no, no! Why does it have to be now? Why here? The area you lived in was one of the safest in the city! Police patrolled regularly, security systems were available to all, and most people have been traveling in groups these days. So, why? You look at your friend, Malika, who no doubt received the same alert as you did, judging by her face.

“Well what the hell are we supposed to do now!?” She yells in frustration. You all have arrived at the festival and the bus has already taken its leave. Unless you call an Uber, there’s no way out; but then again, with a killer on the loose, no person would be dumb enough to let any stranger in their car. You tell your teacher your concerns, but does he listen? No.

“We’ll be fine,” , “just travel in groups,” , and “make sure you check in with everyone at least every 15 minutes,” is all he says to shake your worries. Great job by the way. With that, he goes ahead with another one of the chaperones, probably on their way to get drunk on cheap beer and look at young girls. Pig.

“I know I ain’t stayin for damn sure,” you chuckle at Malikas abrasiveness and nod your head in agreement.

“Who’s gonna pick us up though? We all came here on a bus and no Lift driver is stupid enough to let strangers in at this time,” you both sigh and end up agreeing that she’d call her boyfriend to come get you. The only downside is he lives in the next county. That means 3 whole hours plus some that you two have to try and rid your paranoia.

“How ‘bout we go check out the costume display for the upcoming show? Maybe scope out some the competition?”

“You know what Malika, that sounds like a great idea,” she holds out her arm and you take it , laughing your way down the hay covered dirt path wearily dodging scare actors. Unbeknownst to you the glowing eyes of one of the masks are filled with anything but fake intent.

“Hey, Mal? Is he on the way yet?” You two have already viewed the display, concrete knowing you’re gonna knock everyone at the park. So you decided that maybe a little sightseeing wouldn’t be that bad.

“Ugh! He said he’s on his way but knowing him, that means he just got in the shower,” with a deep sigh she puts her phone back in her pocket.

“Look,” she continues

“ How about we go get something to eat and enjoy what we can. I mean, we did wait all year for this,” you’re a little hesitant but you end up caving; fried oreos do sound good right now.

The walk to the concession stands is filled with jump scares from actors, Jack, o lanterns illuminating your path and the laughter of children and adults a like. The environment reminds you of why you came here in the first place, maybe there is nothing to be worried about.

Oof!

“Oh I’m sorry! I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going,” to wrapped up in the scenery and nostalgia, you failed to notice one of the actors scrambling by. You hear the muffled laughter of Malika and try your best not to strangle her to cover up your embarrassment. Fortunately , it was just the water that spilled on them; Unfortunately, your oreos lay spread eagle on the ground. However, even with a soaked costume and powdered sugar all over their boots, they remain in character. Only giving you a tilt of the head, a grunt, and tightening their grip on their axe. The eyes that lay behind the papier-mâché mask boar deep into your soul, the white contacts holding something deep and dark. The feeling of guilt is slowly washed away and replaced with anxiousness. Man, they're getting employee of the month. Still, you feel bad so you grab the napkins from your back pocket and gently wipe their mask, some of the fake blood coming off along with the water. Hmm, these effects are off the chain too.

As you clean them up you can’t help but to think that they’ll join the costume contest, definitely giving you a run for your money. You're snapped out of your thoughts when Malika pulls you along the road, whining about how upset she is because she didn’t get to snag one of your Oreos. Making your leave, you look over your shoulder one last time, only to find those same white eyes trailing your figure.

My god, you're even more beautiful up close.

“Personally, if that happened to me I’d kill myself,” once again, your friends laughter snapped you outta your own mind. You just giggle and brush it off.

“Shut up! It’s not like I did it on purpose! Besides he was kinda fine not gon’ hold you,”

“I know right! the way he titled his, had a tear running down my leg not gon’ lie,”

“Girl… don’t you gotta man? Like… on his way here?”

“Shhhh don’t ruin the fantasy,”

Two hours have officially passed, the same old texts between Malika and her boyfriend, this time however he was actually in the car. She had pressed him to turn on his location for safety, you could never be too sure now can you? He should’ve been here by now but with how crowded the festival is getting, you can’t blame him. Thankfully, the contest is just about to start! Going against your better judgment, you and Malika thought that being apart for about 15-20 mins wouldn’t hurt. She’ll be waiting in the audience while you go change anyways.

Rushing to the changing rooms you fail to notice another contestant coming towards you just as fast. For the second time this night you managed to bump into someone.

“I am so sorry! I didn’t mean I-,”

“Watch where you’re going bitch! Y’know how long it took me to make this thing?” You look to the left and then to the right trying to figure out who the fuck they think they’re talking too.

“Look I didn’t mean it, I’m sorr-,”

“Yea yea whatever, just stay outta my way next time. Besides, it’s not like you're gonna win this thing anyways,” just before you were about to give them a piece of your mind, the manager stepped in and separated you two. Jeez now this is gonna take even longer than you expected. You thought it was only fair to let Malika know shoot her a quick text. “No worries, babe! Gill's location says he’s here already so Imma grab us a quick bite to eat before I look for him and we head to you. See ya soonnn❤︎︎!!!”

Good; that buys you just enough time. After getting changed and checking your reflection for the hundredth time, you step out feeling as confident as ever. Just as you exit the stall, you hear the worst blood curdling scream of your entire life. You look over to your right and see that asshole from early and that guy with the really nice axe murder costume. Your eyes have to be deceiving you! One of their legs is completely severed, blood dripping from the stub left behind. Slash marks, deep and crooked, adorn their arms and remaining leg. They Look as if their limbs could snap off at the slightest breeze. They cry and groan as they reach out to you. Following their eyes the crazed murder shifts his eyes to you. Their weapon of choice freezing in their hands mid swing. Their victim continues to moan in pain and crawl away, begging and pleading for someone to save them. But…you just laugh.

“I see what you're trynna do here, and it ain’t workin’. Your costume is good but it isn’t better than mine. Assholes,” the last part is mumbled under your breath as you walk away. Even though you presented yourself in this prideful manner, you can’t help the feeling of disappointment that bubbles inside you. You tried really hard this year, let’s just hope that everyone else thinks you did too.

CHOP

Finally. Holding up the severed head he smiles, crooked and eerie. The bitch wouldn’t stop screaming, but at least he gets to see the look of fear in their face forever.

“Hey! What the hell’re you doing!?” hm? Turning around he sees the manager from earlier, standing before him with wide eyes filled with shock and anger. He can’t have his plans be ruined by a little slip up! He didn’t mean to act so impulsive but he couldn’t help. Nobody talks to you like that; not if he had something to do about it. Swinging his weapon of choice up on his shoulder, he’s about to take a step before he’s interrupted.

“Didn't I tell you guys to keep all spare props in bags because of the fake blood?! It gets everywhere and I’m the one who has to clean it up!” They shoved him to the side before grabbing a large trash bag from the cart they lugged behind them; simultaneously grabbing a mop and bucket. Continue to grumble about how “they don’t get paid enough for this” and “all the newbies are irresponsible”. But hey, free disposal.

“Sh, sh it’s okay; it was never your fault,” you tried comforting her but to no luck. All she can see is red as the burning hot tears streaming from her eyes ruin the makeup she spent so long on

“Okay?! It’s not okay (Y/N)! He said he was stuck in traffic all the while he was toungin’ down some bitch in a slutty cat costume. Very unoriginal btw!” You try to keep your giggle in for her sake. You kept trying to tell her this idiot wasn’t any good for years but nooo “the dick was too good to let go,” and apparently, someone else thought so too. Her weeping continues before she builds up the courage to speak again.

“All I wanna do is go home; fuck this competition,” you smile seeing her personality shine through her sadness just a little.

“Yea, fuck this competition,”sure you’re sad about to being able to participate this year, but with your best friend in distress and a serial killer on the loose, you can’t help but to think that maybe you could wait until next year. Ordering the Uber, you suggest that before it gets here, you should check in with your teacher first. Of course you don’t have his number and you're sure your other classmates are not worried about their phones unless they’re snapping pics and recording for their stories . You send them a quick text to your classes group chat and look for the exit.

“He really is a dick, you don’t need him,”

“Yea, I know. Besides, maybe that axe guy will take care of him for me,” she giggles but you don’t find it funny at all.

“What?”

“Yea, I saw him outta the corner of my eye when I walked in on he who shall not be named about to fuck that other girl,” she rolls her eyes and continues walking but you remain stationary.

“You gotta be joking,“ she turns around and gives you a quizzical look so you continue further.

“He and another dickhead I bumped into put on this whole show to get me to drop outta the contest. Lost limbs, fake blood and everything. I don’t know what his problem is, but he needs to leave me the fuck alone before I get the manager, on some Karen shit”

“Now that I think about it, he has been high-tailing us ever since we’ve got here,” she freezes before looking at you dead on. She wipes away the tear stains and brushes her nose against her sleeve before scanning the area.

“You don’t think it’s Kee-,”

“No! Don’t. It’s not him. It couldn’t be,” she holds up her hands in defense before pulling you along to get the hell up outta here. It goes dead silent, tension filling the air. It couldn't be him! It’s just some rando whos jealous of your skill! But…your mind was just playing tricks on you. That feeling of paranoia started to rise again and the flashbacks felt like they were hitting you in waves. She saw this and decided to speak up before it got worse.

“Hey, I’m sorry for bringing it up. I really didn’t mean to-,” this time it’s your turn to cut her off. You offer her a light smile and hold her hand in yours before squeezing.

“It’s alright. Besides, who needs men anyways. You’re all I need,” she gives you an even brighter one, her usual self returning, before squeezing just as hard, laying her head on your shoulder while you walk.

“Yea, fuck men,” you two laugh in sync before changing the conversation to what you’ll do when you get home; maybe a Horror movie marathon and some junk food will cheer you up. Who cares, the night has just begun for you and there’s no way anything was gonna ruin it.

Watching you walk away a gloved hand slams into a tree. Dammit! You won’t get away so easily. You’re his. Nobody else’s. He’ll make sure of it. Starting with her.

Hello everyone!!!! Hope you enjoyed the first part of my Halloween special. I’m breaking this down into 3 parts because I’m afraid people will think it’s too long if I put the whole thing on tumblr. I will be making an Ao3 and the whole fic will be posted without any split up. When it’s created and up I’ll let you know. Hope you enjoyed Loves!!! ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎.

-Love, Sosa❤️

[molemanninethousand]

Resuming with commentary posts on my battles, am I, now? Why, yes; yes, I am.

The decision to make this video in the form and format in which it now exists came very sporadically in a sudden stroke of inspiration following roughly a year of inactivity from MERB, after which it was immediately and rapidly produced. As of MERB #51, the next battle was intended to simply be Petyr Baelish Vs. Bigfoot, which had been part of long-term plans for years beforehand as evidenced by the cryptid's silhouette teased among other characters at the end of MERB #42. The idea was amusing enough on paper, but come time to actually make the battle, I found Bigfoot exceedingly difficult to work with as a figure, leading me to keep putting off on writing it, and by July of 2022, the amount of time that had passed without a battle from me was well-past the point where the initial concept for MERB #52 wouldn't have cut it as a hiatus-breaker.

As such, I revamped plans while still refusing to outright go back on the in-video promises of both Littlefinger and Bigfoot, using V.V. Argost from The Secret Saturdays as a more specific and less nebulously-defined version of the latter while formatting the video as a meta-commentary on my own poor scheduling, using it to establish a roadmap going forward and adding additional characters whom I was interested in using yet had no solid conventional matchups for (or whose would-be matchups would be incompatible with others I was now planning in one particular case). The first MERB News is something of a pet personal favorite among my older videos, after all.

I remain extremely grateful to Justin Mike Buckner, now known as Mr. Jay, for playing Joseph Smith here in what is definitely a solid candidate for the single best verse in my entire series, partially on account of its unrivaled length but definitely solidified by his performance. Skeep Tieel as the Crypt-Keeper is another highlight in this lineup, and Finn McCool as Argost warrants mention as well in terms of vocal talent from fellow YouTubers here. Even though he's only a cameo in this, it was also cool to have Yobar in an actual completed video after his MERB debut as Nom Anor in Sonic Vs. Star Wars ended up being relegated to audio-only status.

As stated in its outro, every character I had planned to use in the seven battles announced through this video is hinted at in its lyrics; this is no longer the case, but only on account of plans being expanded to include two more battles, with the "season" (which has occupied half the time my series has existed at this point, I know) currently intended to end at #60.

I'm well-aware that despite it serving as an announcement of a major return my quantity of output since this video has remained severely wanting, which I'll admit has had to do with me relapsing into investment in cartoon girls being [REDACTED]. As of this posting, here's hoping once more to pick up the pace going forward, and that the resumption of my activity here on Tumblr will help keep me motivated in that regard...

[turnstileskyline]

sprry i promise in going to skeep i just had a panic attack thats all but im ok now

[princesshillaryellaworld25]

Boyfriend(Cam) and Girlfriend(Ashley) baking a cake

Girlfriend(Ashely): Wow Cam, the cake is going great.

Boyfriend(Cam): Beep bop! ( Thanks Ash!)

Girlfriend(Ashley): Your Sister is gonna love the cake we made for her.

Boyfriend(Cam): Beep skeep bo bop! ( Yeah, Say GF, Should we also make brownies for Pico and the Shrugfriend duo too?)

Girlfriend(Ashley): Yeah, I just started making them right now, you wanna add m&m's into the brownies?

Boyfriend(Cam): Yeah!

Girlfriend(Ashely): Alright then!

[azlovesem]

Fun movie. Hey most of thosebimmgeants they say omarecso dangerpus i saw them working today. I dont jnow what peoples problems with immigrants are. Sure you need to get control of the border but thats not the major probkem. Everyones like my kand my job my house see this fuckn house its mine. If i get hot by a teuck i eont go to skeep in there tonite ill be dead they may as well say. Who the fuck do people think theyrectalking to? I told those immigrants you guys look way fuckn happier than i am in this stupid mother fucker. Fuck this house. My house my house my house. Fuck now ya gotta sleep there forever. That thing will poison you sittn around the house. Cozyn you up. I wanna go hang out at my foreign exotic gfs house. Or goneith ifiot girl to japan. No fuckn cryn about immigrsnts there. Watching shit eating crap st home id rather meet a cute immigrant. When no one cares. Fuck i wanna go hang out in some other country and get on their nerves. Ill be like i hate that stupid place i just came from now im here ill be happy here for a bit til i hate it here then go to i dont know. I can go live st Petes he ssid or in Greece in Csllsmstta and sparta i boild ho again. Fuck that. I aint hanging around stinking snd growing weed in an olive grove. Plus thise people on yhst farm are annoying and lazy. They wont halelp me glgrow tripstobe or msje oil. Pierres mom loves me she keeps telln me to go there and bring pierre but he doesnt like going anymore. He hstes goin far from home. The house is eating him. Ibeanna get my littke dpot yhrn hamf our at my gfs house. Yiud be durprised eho i can dare i went out with a Big CEO. She kept saying i dont care of a guy is this that he just has to work. Dhecwas hot from Hong Kong originally. Shecwanted a house boy. And that wasnt me. At the time ehere is she now for fuvks dake ehen i really need her. Lol. Noooo. I want one particular snd now i may as well go back yo a life of crime full time. But i cant. Brcause if her. No dhe didnt ruin snything. Shes amazing bit everyone loves her slready, well im feeling snother crime spree now ill move back over to parkdale where i belong. No my wife is fine. I dont know ehy the hell shes still here but she is. I thought if get outnif thenhidpitsl and dhed be gone but now. Cops st the foir like 90 yhen no. I told her yo. Then not yo. Then she did the same. Have fun with ur fuckn marriage kids. Id only ever marry my imaginary fantasy gf. Only if dhe asked me would i ever fo this to mysekf again. My advice is avoid marriage.ha ga ya ga idiotMs,.

JURASSIC PARK (1993) Dir. Steven Spielberg