#going to grab some bubble tea and hopefully that helps

[deepwoundsandfadedscars]

This is not a drill, the Person of Interest is on their way to meet me at the mall I'm at, seeing each other for the first proper time in like 12 years 😳 so nervous but so excited too

[dw19791967]

That Feeling Part 2

Pairing: Dean x reader (eventual), OFC Tyler

Warnings: language, unrequited love, angst, unwanted kissing, depression, anxiety, and feelings.

Trigger Warning: This fic contains discussions of depression and anxiety and feelings that go along with those. If that could be triggering for you I would skip out on this one. It is based on some experiences I have had in real life.

*All mistakes are my own!

I apologize for this taking forever!! I have had some things come up plus been busy with work. I think there will two more parts after this one. Make sure to read part 1 to understand this part!

-Layla

*I do not own this gif.

I had finally made my way back to my room a little after 11 that night. Dean had held me and tried to calm me down the best he could. I told him I needed some space and he understood. 

I slept like crap. Kept replaying the event in my head over and over again. How could I be so dumb. How could I let this happen? Why did I have to react like that? 

I woke up around 8 the following morning. My eyes were still puffy when I looked in the mirror. I washed my face and brushed my teeth. I decided it was time to get dressed. I changed into a pair of leggings and an oversized t-shirt. I made my way to the kitchen to get something to drink. 

“Hey Y/N. Dean and I went and grabbed your car from that bar earlier this morning.” Sammy greeted me with a slight smile. I figured that meant Dean had told him what had happened. 

“Hi Sammy, thank you. I appreciate it. ” I looked at him. I’m sure he could tell I had been crying. I brushed it off. I went to the fridge to pour myself a glass of tea. I warmed it up in the microwave. Hopefully this would help calm my nerves. 

“Where’s Dean?” I moved to sit down across from him at the table. 

“He went out, should be back soon.” He paused. “Do you want to talk about it? I’m here to listen, you know, you don’t have to handle this on your own.”

“Not right now Sam. I kinda just want to forget for a bit ya know? I slept like ass.” I placed my hand on his. “I do appreciate it though.”

I grabbed my glass and stood. “I think I’m going to lay back down for a bit, have a migraine.” 

“Y/N….” Sam moved to stand as well.

“I’ll be ok Sammy, promise.” I looked at him with a sad smile.

God I hope I will be. 

________________________________

Dean’s POV:

I ran to get some of Y/N’s favorite things. Tea, chocolate, ingredients to make tacos, bubble bath stuff, and her fruity girl drinks. It always amused me that she hated beer. To quote her “who wants to drink something that tastes like warm piss?”. 

I carried the stuff into the kitchen. 

“Hey she got up to get some tea but headed back to her room. She said she didn't feel like talking.” Sam moved to help me put the stuff away.

“I figured. She told me last night she needed some space but I also know that's code for "I will need you to remind me you care at some point.” I’ll check on her after I put this stuff up.” 

“Go ahead, I got it.” 

I moved down the hallway towards her room. I hated that this happened to her. She’s told me about her past and it wasn’t pretty. It scares the crap out of me that sometimes humans are the worst type of monsters. I wanted to beat the shit out of every son of a bitch that had hurt her but she said it wouldn’t be worth it. It kills me inside that she thinks she isn’t worth it. She is beautiful, a badass, says what she thinks and doesn’t give a damn if it offends you, and has a heart of gold and would do anything for anyone. She has saved me more times than I can count in the short time I’ve known her. I couldn’t imagine my life without her. I can’t tell her this especially right now. I know she needs to get her head on straight. 

I reached her door. “Sweetheart?” I knocked gently.

___________________________

Y/N’s POV:

I had laid back down but of course couldn’t sleep. I laid there for an hour tossing and turning. Then I took some meds for my head. I guess crying and lack of sleep equals a huge ass headache. I couldn’t stop my mind from reeling. Maybe I deserve to feel like this? I mean I’m not perfect. I have made mistakes in my life, maybe this is my punishment? I have always struggled with depression and anxiety. Of course it got worse as time went on, especially being a hunter. I had managed to keep it under wraps pretty well until now. Now all the bad times are brought back to the surface. The boys don’t deserve to have to deal with my broken ass. Maybe it would be better if I left and spent some time on my own.

I felt my phone buzz below me. It was a text.

Tyler:  

Hey Y/N just wanted to check on you. I’m really sorry about how last night went down. I just thought that was what you wanted, especially since I had mentioned stuff before and you didn’t say anything. Anyway I am heading out tonight, want to meet up again? Maybe we could have a redo of last night and talk things out ;).

Shock was the polite way of describing how I felt reading his message. I needed to end this.

Y/N:

Tyler, I have thought things over and now realize I should have stopped talking to you sooner. Making lewd comments about my body, discussing being naked, telling me we were strictly friends, ignoring me when I needed a friend. There were a lot of mixed signals on your part. I guess me telling you that we could see where our friendship takes implied I wanted more and for that I apologize. This whole situation has made me realize that  I need to work on myself and put myself first. So this will be the last message you receive from me. Do not contact me again and please lose my number. 

I deleted the messages and blocked his number. I wanted a clean slate. 

“Sweetheart?” Dean was knocking on my door softly. 

“You can come in.” I moved to sit up slightly.

He made his way into the room. Seeing his face made me feel a little better. 

He sat down at the end of the bed by my feet. 

“I’m not going to ask how you are doing because I already know the answer. I went to the store and got some of your favorites. Is there anything you would like to do today?”

“I appreciate that De, you didn’t have to do that.”

“I know” he said with a smile.

“I would really like to sleep, I’m still exhausted but can’t get my mind to turn off. He messaged me, tried to apologize and get me to meet up with him again. I told him no and that I needed to put myself first. I told him I didn’t want to hear from him again.” I played with a string on my quilt to distract me from his inevitable reaction. I knew he would be pissed. Pissed that the idiot had the balls to message me, pissed that I didn’t tell him to take a flying leap.

“I’m proud of you for setting the boundary Y/N, that is a huge step.” He reached for my hand. 

Wait, he wasn’t pissed? Who is he and what has he done with my Dean?

“I figured you would be pissed at me for messaging him back.” 

“I mean does it piss me off that he thought it would be a good idea to message you? Of course. But I also know you needed to tell him the effect this had on you. You need to be able to move on, I would never be mad at you for doing that.” He moved his thumb back and forth across my hand. He always knew how to comfort me. 

“I appreciate that you have done more for me in the last 24 hours than I could have ever expected or asked of you. You don’t have to keep doing things for me ya know?” I looked up at him now. God, those eyes. He could ask me to rob a bank for him and I probably would. 

“I’m doing these things because I want to. You are my best friend, my girl. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. I’m here because I want to be.” He looked into my eyes and smiled. 

“So you didn’t answer my question, what do you want to do?”

“I’m not really sure, I know I’m not up for being around a lot of people. I kinda just want to go for a drive and listen to music, try to get my mind to think of something else ya know?” I said. 

“If that’s what you want to do then that is what we will do. Get your shoes on Sweetheart, let’s go.” Dean smiled.

[doahaesunshine]

Chapter 3: I realized that everything has a reason

Chapter WC: 4045

Tags

This is a loaded chapter. Figuratively and literally.

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I have so many questions Yet no one is here to answer I live my life on a cloud of confusion Waiting for the day my skies will clear But until that day I will remain imprisoned in my own mind

You woke up to the sun bathing your face in light, the blinds still left wide open from the previous night. You groaned as you rose from the bed and stretched, a resonant pop emanated from your neck as your joints shifted.

It looked as though it was still early and you debated on getting more rest, but ultimately decided to peel yourself out of bed. Once you stood, a sharp pain shot through your head, yet another headache. You grabbed the vial Dino had given you off the nightstand and inhaled the peppermint scent. As if it were magic, the throbbing in your head disappeared.

As you walked downstairs you were met with the aroma of bacon and maple. The smell sent a wave of nostalgia through you. It was cozy and made your chest bubble with warmth.

“Good morning!” Dino’s cheery voice resonated through the room. “I hope you're hungry because I made too much food. I’m not used to visitors.” His tone turned sheepish as a slight blush made his ears glow.

You couldn’t help but smile. “I am a bit hungry. Hopefully you make breakfast as well as you cook dinner.”

“You enjoyed the stew?” Dino’s face lit up with a huge smile. “That’s good! I’ve never cooked for anyone before so I’m happy you liked it.”

It’s only been a day since you met Dino, but you found it difficult to not be endeared to him. Talking with him felt like spending time with a younger sibling. He was all smiles and laughter, not to mention generous. You were taken aback by his hospitality given that you were a complete stranger, but you supposed his caring nature came from being what he called an Alchemist.

The source of the maple scent was waffles, accompanied by some syrup that Dino warmed up to pair with the savory dish. Quickly, you had taken a seat at the table and dug in. Even though you had your fill of dinner yesterday, you filled your plate full of bacon, waffles, and fruit. Dino did say he made too much food so you were going to take advantage of that.

“Do you have coffee?” You asked between bites.

Dino hummed as he thought. “Coffee? No. But I think I have some black tea. Do you want some?”

“I’ve never had it before, but if it has caffeine I will take it.”

Dino stood from the table to put a kettle over the flame of the hearth. “It definitely has caffeine. Less than coffee but it should do the trick. I can put some milk and honey in it too if you don’t like the bitterness.”

The kettle took no time to heat up and Dino served you a tea cup worth of the dark liquid. You first tried it without any additives but it made your face twist at the bitterness. Dino laughed as he added the milk and honey. After stirring everything in, you sipped it once more, finding it more pleasant to your pallet with the added sweetness.

“So about this Archivist.” You said, enjoying another sip of your tea. “Is he some type of big shot around here?”

“I’m not too sure what that means, but if you are asking if he is important, yes.” Dino gathered the plates in a stack and placed them by the sink. “He’s the proprietor of Diamond Hall and he watches over its center.”

“Diamond Hall?” Learning the name of the area you were in sparked curiosity. “That’s where we are right now?”

Dino shrugged. “Well my cottage is more on the outskirts. It’s still close by though, only a ten minute walk until we get to the plaza.”

You finished the rest of your tea and set the cup by the sink. “Okay! I’m ready.”

Dino snickered at your enthusiasm. “Don’t you want to wash up? You were in a lake, remember?”

You took a quick sniff of your arm and sure enough you smelled like lake water. It wasn’t entirely unpleasant, a little earthy with an underlying sweat, maybe a bath wouldn’t be so bad. 

The washroom was well equipped with herbal bath scents and naturally made soaps. Dino filled the tub with hot water for you and told you to take your time so that he could find better clothes for you. He closed the door as he left. Once you had the room to yourself you undressed.  The air was cool, sending a shiver down your spine. In a rush, you slid into the tub, letting the warmth of the water soothe your sore muscles. 

Whatever Dino had put in the water smelled like lavender and sage. Deep down, the fragrance reminded you of something but you couldn’t place it at that moment. Overall, it had a relaxing effect and with a sigh you fell slack against the back of the tub. Baths were never really your thing, but if all of them were this nice then you would have to start a routine for relaxation.

After freshening up in the bath, you dried off and wrapped the towel around your body, hearing a soft knock at the door.

“I’ll leave the clothes by the door!” Dino spoke quickly and hurried off before you could respond.

You retrieved the clothes which consisted of a loose, white linen shirt and straight cut, dark brown trousers. Both of which looked like they would fit you much better than the shirt you had borrowed. There were no shoes but your own. They were a bit damaged by the water, however still sufficed. As for your hair, not much could be done about it, but you did your best to at least push it out of your face. 

“I’m ready when you are!” You called out after exiting the washroom.

Dino trotted down the steps wearing a simple button down sweater that was a little baggy on him. His pants looked similar to yours, he must have given you an older pair. He ambled toward the door and he knelt down to put on a pair of boots. There was a slight shuffle to his steps as he made sure the boots were secure.

The moment you were outside you were met with a breathtaking sight. You saw the greenery from the bedroom window, but the front of the cottage was a different story. Vines and branches climbed the side of the house, encasing parts of it. A budding garden of flowers caught your eye, even some you recognized as pansies and tulips. Alongside those flowers were potted herbs, labeled meticulously to not get any confused. It made sense, if Dino was an Alchemist then he would need to have interest in botany and gardening.

What surprised you the most was the fact that there was a slight chill to the air, yet the plants still grew. They looked healthy but healthy flowers meant pollen, and pollen meant allergies. There was a familiar itch to your nose.

Achoo!

The sneeze sounded more like a roar as the powdery substance invaded your nostrils. Dino looked back at you with an expression of shock.

“Sorry! Pollen allergy.” You said as you itched at your eye.

Noticing your sensitivity, Dino rushed you further down the path. The stone road was barely visible  due to the overgrown grass and clovers. It was confusing to follow as it winded through trees and meadows, but Dino did a good job leading you through the march.

Much to Dino’s words earlier, the path opened to a clearing with a proper road. The area itself was circular with an intricate fountain at its center, holding a statue of a lounging panther. Just below the stone feline was a small waterfall which fed into the fountain. As you took in the stonework, a sense of tranquility and wisdom could be depicted from the panther’s expression. 

Aside from the path you came, three more sprouted off before you, Dino pointed to the path directly ahead of you.

“Diamond Hall Center is this way. We should be there soon.”

Dino continued to lead the way, making idle chatter about his time as an Alchemist and how he enjoys making elixirs to help others. He proclaimed himself humbly as the resident healer in his community, his words put you at ease.

Diamond Hall was not what you expected. You were thinking of a small government building of sorts, something made of old brick that was in need of repairs. This structure however was nothing like that. A fortuitous castle towered over the courtyard where you and Dino stood.

The warm sandstone structure resembled that of gothic architecture but nothing about this reminded you of any historic European building. Before you was a show of expert craftsmanship and construction, even the cobblestone path was a sight to behold. On either side of the path were pruned hedges and manicured flower patches, not a stray leaf out of place. Truth be told, it was intimidating, encroaching even.

Continuing down, you were met with another statue, one now of a stoic looking man dressed in an old fashioned suit. Beside the man was the same panther from the fountain, its form twisted around the former’s leg, looking just as phlegmatic.

The bronze plaque read: Grand Archivist, Jeon Wonwoo. 

“Is this who I’m meeting?” You asked. 

Dino gazed up at the statue. “Yup. Our Archivist, Wonwoo.”

There was a bundle of nerves that danced around in your chest, nausea building in your stomach “Is there a certain way I should address him?”

Dino paused for a moment as he thought. “There are a few. You can call him Archivist Jeon, Mr. Jeon, Grand Archivist, sir if your mind goes blank.”

You nodded along as you listened to Dino rattle off titles. This was going to be stressful, but your desire for information triumphed against your anxiety. With a quick shake to get the nerves out, you pushed forward with Dino.

The interior was just as elegant as the exterior. Marble floors glistened due to the crystal chandeliers that hung above. You strained your neck to look up at the dangling lights. The ceiling beyond felt like it went on for miles. You couldn’t help but stare as Dino led you up a marble staircase and through multiple halls.

Eventually, the two of you reached a tall set of doors. They were entirely too big to push open yourself, even Dino could see your confusion and pointed out that it was just for show. The actual door was much smaller and easier to push open.

“This leads to the Diamond Archives. Archivist Jeon should be in there, he is usually here early to make sure everything is in its place.” Dino said as he opened the door for you.

“Okay.” Your eyes widened. “Wait- Are you telling me to go in alone?”

Dino offered an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I have to get back to my duties at the cottage. I left a huge workload on hold because of- well you know.”

Of course, Dino had told you the people of this community depend on him for medicine on your walk here. You were sure that being in his care put a pause on his orders. 

You took a deep breath. “I got this. I have my questions at the ready.”

Dino smiled as you gave yourself a pep-talk. “Good luck! I’m sure he’ll help clear things up.”

With a new found confidence, you breached the door and stepped inside. The heavy door closed with a rumbling thud, loud enough to startle a gasp from you. The hall you found yourself in was lit by sconces along the wall, seeming very medieval as the light was a soft orange and dim.

“Hello?” You rasped out. The nerves were not helping.

No one responded, all that was heard was the faint echo of your own voice. Cautiously, you continued down the hall. Every now and then you peeked into one of the side rooms, finding no nothing or no one of interest. 

“You gotta be kidding me- Hello!” This time you were louder, the annoyance spurred you on.

“Apologies.” A low voice spoke behind you.

You nearly jumped out of your skin as you whipped around only to be met with a man that resembled the statue. Round glasses rested atop his nose bridge, not shifting once while he bowed to you, the beaded lanyard they were attached to only rattled at the movement. The chain itself was dainty and exquisite, glimmering in the light of the fire. 

Your heart was still beating out your chest from the previous fright, but you returned the bow. You wanted to speak, but the words caught in your throat.

The man before you straightened to his full height, flattening his suit gently. “I’m Grand Archivist, Jeon Wonwoo.” 

In the confines of the hall his voice resonated off the walls. Despite its rich tone there was something chilling about the way he spoke. He focused on you as if expecting something.

“Oh-” You needed to introduce yourself. “I’m- uh- Damnit.”

Your name still escaped you, a slight blush creeped up your cheeks out of embarrassment and you exhaled a defeated sigh. 

Archivist Jeon studied you as you tripped over your words. “Have you forgotten much about your time on the mortal plane?”

The term mortal plane peeked your interest. “I’m sorry, what?”

You watched as Archivist Jeon took a step closer. He didn’t get too close but enough to examine your face. 

“You are human, aren’t you?”

That was a preposterous question. “What? Of course I am. What are you on about?”

There was a lengthy pause between the two of you, only the sound of your beating heart filled your ears. With everything that has transpired thus far, you were still on edge.  

“I must apologize again. It always astounds me that no matter what time period or realm humans come from, they are always so bewildered.” His face was expressionless as he spoke.

It felt as though his eyes were boring into you, as if he was reading your thoughts. The sharpness of his eyes was imposing and you couldn't help but feel small in the presence of the tall man.

You swallowed your fear and met his gaze. “You keep talking about me as if I’m so different. Aren’t you human too, Archivist Jeon?”

A close lipped smile broke his deadpan expression. “I see you are going to have a lot of questions. Follow me to my office. Do you like tea?”

His demeanor was clinical and detached before, but there was a shift in his tone as he continued to speak. His words became inviting and warm. You agreed to the tea but only because you wanted answers. 

  It was a short trek to his office, the room resting at the end of the corridor. He entered first, holding the door open for you to enter. The office itself was exorbitant in its aura. The rich, dark cherry wood flooring was polished to perfection and the wallpaper was a tad gaudy, though the full ebony wood bookshelves aided in disguising it. At the far end of the room backlit by a streak-free bay window, a large executive style desk rested, the sleek dark color matching the shelves that littered the wall. With the attention to detail and extravagant furniture, some might call the room suffocating, however you could insinuate that Archivist Jeon was a maximalist.

Letting your gaze wander, you took notice of the spiral staircase that led to a balcony that housed plenty more books. In this room alone, the amount of literary works seemed endless. The Archivist gestured towards the plush chair opposite of his desk, inviting you to relax. The leather cushions threatened to swallow you whole, yet you let yourself lean further into the chair.

The tea served was different than the black tea Dino gave you earlier. This was much lighter and sweeter. The Archivist, after checking if you needed anything more, took a seat behind his desk.

“So you have forgotten your name and where you came from?” Archivist Jeon started.

You nodded in agreement. “Yes, I remember falling or something- then I woke up here.”

The Archivist stared at you with an analytical gaze. His expression was neutral once more making it hard to read.

“It has been two years since someone from the mortal plane was brought here. Do you know how rare this situation is?”

“You’re saying that term again.” There was a hint of irritation in your voice. “What do you mean by ‘mortal plane’?”

Archivist Jeon inhaled the aroma of his tea before sipping. “That’s where you are from: The Mortal Plane. That is what we call it here in Diamond Hall.”

You opened your mouth to speak but you were spoken over by the Archivist. 

“Before you ask, yes, this is still Earth. But this Earth is very different.”

You held your cup of tea in your lap and absently thumbed at its handle. “So I can go home?”

“No.” 

“Okay. You aren’t giving me a lot to go on here, Grand Archivist.” The annoyance had finally boiled over.

“Every time you speak my title it’s as if you are spitting venom. Have I done something to offend you?”

A defeated groan emanated from you. “It’s because no one is answering my questions! Or when they do get answered I’m left more confused than before! It’s infuriating!” Your head began to throb as your blood pressure rose. 

Yelling was not good for the migraines that had been plaguing you. You hurriedly retrieved the vial of mint from your pocket and inhaled. The pain subsided, but the frustration remained.

“I will start from the top then.” Archivist Jeon stood from his seat and sauntered to one of the book cases.

He ran the tip of his finger over the exposed book spines until he stopped at a thick leather bound book. The heavy tome was freed from its place on the shelf and carried back to the desk. He carefully placed it in front of you and leaned over the desk to turn to a certain page. 

“Here.” He pointed to a block of text.

You scanned over the block of text, comprehending as much of it as possible.

Should the crescent of Vitidel and the full strength of Gi-Enos meet, a portal shall open.

Those who wander too close will be swallowed whole by the gate, thus separating them from the Mortal Plane. Once devoured, the victim will experience memory loss. Their memories are not lost forever however, they will simply be housed in the cosmos, waiting for the next Joining.

If the victim wishes to return home, they will need to wait two years for the next portal opening. The Joining never ensures a successful transport back to the Mortal Plane. The event could return the victim home, but it could also destroy them entirely. 

You read over the passage a second time just to be sure you were reading it correctly. “Wait- What are you saying? Am I in some sort of magical fairy land? This isn’t a joke!”

“There is no humor in this.” Archivist Jeon gazed down at you. His stone-like expression told you he was being serious.

“Okay. So what you're implying is that when I fell-” You screwed your eyes shut as you fought off another headache. “The fall took me to a different dimension?”

“I am not implying anything.” The book was closed as the Archivist returned to his seat. “I had you read an excerpt that was written by my elder. She was the first human to experience the Joining.”

“There you go saying human again.”

Archivist Jeon's patience was unwavering. “That is simply because Human is the term we use for people who were born on the Mortal Plane.”

Every time this Archivist opened his mouth you became more confused. “Then what does that make you?”

“People who are born in the Septimus Decimus Realm are called Arcanists.”

You blinked absentmindedly. “Sep- What?”

“In the Great Wheel, we are in the Seventeenth Realm.” The tone the Archivist spoke in remained even.

“Can you say that in human words?”

Archivist Jeon stood once again and rolled a chalkboard over to where you were sitting. He procured a box of chalk from his desk and began to scribble on the slate. What he drew resembled a bunch of circles in the shape of a circle. There was one extra in the center and you watched as lines were drawn from each of the circles to the center.

“This is what we call The Great Wheel .” He pointed to the image as a whole. “This is where we are currently.” He drew an arrow pointing at one of the top circles.

Counting from the top center circle all the way around equaled seventeen circles, but there were eighteen in total. 

“All seventeen of these realms are tied to Realm Nihl, or Zero. It’s what I was referring to when I said Mortal Realm.” Archivist Jeon placed the chalk down and wiped the residue on his handkerchief. 

Your energy dwindled as you digested the information the Archivist fed you. “So I came from here?” You stood and pointed to the center circle.

The Archivist sang out a low hum of agreement.

“Then what’s all this?” You motioned to the lines. “Did I follow one of these lines when the gate devoured me ?”

“Not exactly.” Archivist Jeon erased the lines and began to draw little waves in the empty space. “Think of it more like the ocean. All that energy in between realms has the power to disintegrate a person. Just like how a tsunami can destroy a ship and her crew.” He directed his attention to you.

“The Joining caused a portal to open in the Mortal Realm. It swallowed you and something must have helped steer your form to safety. Do you remember anything before falling?” 

You thought for a moment and tried to list everything you remembered.

You were falling.

And then you were consumed by darkness.

There were voices in that void.

Wait- a voice. There was a voice before the fall too.

A sharp pain sliced through your skull. You yelped and grabbed your head as a deafening ring bombarded your ears. The strength in your legs gave and you collapsed, but a firm grip on your shoulders stopped you from crumbling to the floor.

“Forgive me.”  Archivist Jeon’s tone was laced with sympathy. “I shouldn’t have encouraged you to dig into your shattered mind.”

You used Archivist Jeon to steady yourself, giving no struggle as he guided you back to the chair. He plucked the handkerchief from his suit and offered it to you. At first curious as to why, you soon felt the familiar warmth of blood dripping from your nose. With haste, you accepted the cloth, not wishing to stain your clothes again. 

“Thank you.” You muttered weakly. 

Archivist Jeon nodded and returned to the tome, pushing it toward you. “Keep it for now. The longer you stay here the more questions you’ll think of. The tome will prove helpful during this time.”

You mumbled another thank you as you scooped the book into your arms. All you wanted now was a nap and so you stood from your seat and lumbered toward the door.

The Archivist rushed ahead of you to open the door for you. You stumbled, but he caught you by the arm. “I’ll escort you back to the Alchemist’s. You’d find yourself lost the second you stepped out.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, chief.” Even in a moment of seriousness you managed to throw in a bit of sarcasm.

Archivist Jeon remained calm as he offered you his arm for support. The two of you walked at an easy pace for your sake. Arm in arm, you made your way back to Dino’s cottage.

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[disorganizedkitten]

Bursting Bubbles of Bad Luck Chapter 4

Miraculous Ladybug | 2019 | 2,727 | Ao3 | Prev | Masterlist | Next

 The night before the first day of school had Plagg just as anxious as Felix, so they sat down and made what would hopefully be a foolproof plan to not get anyone hurt. And on the first day of school, they followed it.

 They had gotten up early, gotten to school just as early despite a flat tire on the way there, and Felix was expecting to have to skirt around hugs from his friends in class. Except they weren’t in homeroom together.

 Instead, he had the Mayor’s daughter, the daughter of a diplomat he had never heard of, the Lahiffe kid, and the Agreste boy.

 He was unamused, to say the least.

 “They can’t be that bad,” Plagg drawled lazily, perching unworridly on Felix’s shoulder. He ducked behind Felix’s neck when the Rossi girl turned in her seat to wink at him.

 “She looks like a snake, Chloe outright is a hornet, and Adrien… admittedly I have nothing on him, but I don’t need more friends, and he seems the type.” At least Nino was chill. He had never tried to use his status, and few even realized he had any.

 Plagg sighed, sticky breath hot on the back of his neck. “I have met zero of your friends. I don’t believe you.”

 Felix rolled his eyes. Another classmate turned around, reaching for her bag. She pulled out her tablet, set the bag back down, and looked up. Her eyes widened when they met his. She squeaked, and spun back around, clicking haphazardly.

 Felix groaned to himself. Just what he needed, a fan in his class.

***

 They made it to the end of First Hour, literature, before something blew up. Rossi’s seatmate (Ivan) had gotten sent to the principal's office after getting upset at one of the other kids across the aisle (Kim).  The rest of the class had dispersed, heading off to their next classes. Felix had a study hall. He took a seat in the back of the room and logged into his computer.

 “Hey Fe.”

 “Allegra!” He smiled, and held up his hand for a high-five. She returned the gesture and took the seat beside him. “What class are you working on?”

 “Criminology. You?”

 “History.” Felix pointedly didn’t make a face at that. History was actually relatively cool, but nothing had fallen apart yet, and he was still worried.

 “Fun,” Allegra grinned and leaned over, probably about to spill some tea, but was cut off by the building shaking. She jumped back, bracing against the table. Felix did the same, searching the walls and ceiling for weak points.

 The screams petered out for a moment before another tremor shook the school. It seemed less dangerous.

 “Kid.” 

 Felix ignored Plagg, more focused on the bookshelves that were probably going to come down on his head soon. “Legs, we gotta get to the courtyard.”

 “I know,” Allegra hissed back, sliding her bag back over her shoulder. She grabbed his hand and they started down towards the door, mostly calm around the screaming.

 Most were treating it half like a fire alarm and half like- well, he didn’t know, but it included panicking and screaming.

 “Kid!”

 “What?” Felix hissed, twisting around a student he didn’t know. They were closer to the entryway, so he could see the security cameras. There was a golem in the courtyard. Had been, since they just broke an entire wall and stepped outside. Felix braced himself against Allegra as the school shook.

 “You gotta get out there!”

 “I what?”

 Plagg huffed through his nose, anger and annoyance coming through all at once. “You have to get out there and help fight the akuma!”

 “Is that what the actual name for the golem is?” Felix asked. There was another tremor, this was causing something to actually come off the wall. They yelped in unison as he pulled Allegra back as it hit the ground and shattered.

 “Yes!”

 “Why do I have to go?” Felix followed Allegra out of the library at last, and was met with utter chaos on the other floors. No way was this safe.

 “Because someone has to help the Coccinelle!”

 “The what?”

 Allegra turned to look at Felix in confusion. Apparently he had said that too loudly. Felix shrugged, unable to play it off around the adrenaline and questioning how much good any of the drills had been. Most of the surrounding students were running like headless chickens.

 Plagg must have decided he didn’t care at this point either, because he dug tiny claws into Felix’s shoulder. “The Miraculous of Creation and purification. My opposite.” Another few students ran past, Felix noted dimly. “Something you should be near to head off the curse, and hopefully something who can take it off, even through editing. You have to get out there!”

 So his one chance at undoing this curse was to go fight a monster, akuma apparently, and hope the person with the miraculous would be nice enough to set him free. And this was all happening while an akuma (which meant what?) was rampaging and destroying the neighborhood?

 Felix officially hated this.

 “How do you expect me to do that?”

 “Get away from everyone and say Claws Out. Your weapon will have an instruction manual, and if you can find them, the coccinelle will probably help too.”

 “What is going on?” Allegra asked. The ground shook harder, and she bent her knees. “Actually, I don’t care. Fe, you cannot actually be entertaining the idea of going out there! We have drills for this! A large part is get to safety, not run into danger!”

 “He has to!” Plagg snarled.

 Felix took advantage of being attached to Allegra and started pulling her towards the stairs. There was a new noise, and suddenly the ba-dum ba-dum footstep tremors were drowned out by screaming and the heart-stopping noise of displaced air. A skyscraper started to crumble a few blocks away.

 Felix covered his mouth with his free hand. This was sick. Insane. Mass murder. Beside him, Allegra stopped supporting her weight, causing them both to go down in the middle of the walkway. “Oh my gosh. That-” she shook her head. “Fe?” her voice cracked. Felix leaned over and hugged her.

 “C’mon. The ground isn’t safe.” He was going to throw up. He knew things like this happened, but Felix had never witnessed it before.

 Plagg pulled Felix up by the hair. “Right you are. Anyway, they’re only humans, move on.”

 All of the grudging respect and ally moments from the past week died in a moment, replaced with horror. “What?” He managed.

 “How can you say that?” Allegra hissed, chest heaving. Her grip on Felix’s fingers was painful.

 “Humans die,” Plagg said seriously. “It’s what happens. Other humans move on. If it worries you so much, transform and go help.”

 “Absolutely not!”

 “Legs-” Felix started. He couldn’t- if he didn’t try then he was responsible for more dying. “If I have-” Allegra cut him off, which was okay because Felix didn’t know what he was trying to say anyway.

 “That’s the job of the police! The Government! The Magic Council! Not that of an untrained teenager!” She was shaking. Felix felt vaguely like he should be too.

 “For this teenager it is,” Plagg snarled. “He has my powers, he needs to use them.”

 “Legs.”

 “Fine! Fine!” She snarled. “But if you don’t come back I’ll- I’ll desecrate your grave.” And then she hugged him. Felix returned it. His chest felt off, stuck in a loop of panic-anger-fear fuelled by adrenaline.

 “I’ll do my best. Ready, Plagg? Claws out.”

 He was still as Plagg zipped into the ring, and a green layer of sparkles enveloped him. What sort of magical girl anime had his life become? Oh yeah, not one, because they didn’t really get cursed.

 When the light faded, he was wearing a black bodysuit, with a silver cat-shaped belt buckle, similar to the cat face of his ring. Two high boots, and thick gloves. Felix couldn’t see the rest of himself, but he imagined it was along the same vein. Allegra was watching him tensely. They looked at each other for a few seconds.

 “Your baton is on your back,” Allegra said softly, eventually.

He felt around and found a stick the length of his forearm.There was a button in the middle. He pressed it. “Thanks, Legs.” It flicked open, revealing a screen. Okay, he could work with this. Probably.

 The ground shook as another building collapsed. Felix flinched.

***

 He found the coccinelle, or who he hoped was her, trading blows with the monster on the other side of the city. As loathe as he was to admit it, even after speed-reading the manual, Felix didn’t know what he was doing, which meant he was going to have to defer to her. Teamwork, yay!

 “Can I help at all?”

 She barely looked towards him, instead flipping away from a giant fist. “Black cat, right?”

 ..He didn’t have a name yet. “Sure.” Felix realized a moment later she was talking about his miraculous and not his name. Ugh.

 The monster got a lucky hit in, and she went flying to his side of the repurposed stadium. No one should survive that. He was at her side in an instant, ready to do… something.

 Her face was scrunched as though in pain, but she used him to stagger to her feet anyway. “I’m good.” Even with that said, she held his arm for balance for a few moments. “I think I know where his object is, but not what it is. Do you know how to look?”

 Felix shook his head, despite himself. He had to be honest here, as much as he hated being inferior to anyone, especially strangers. "My kwami told me I needed to get out and help you, and told me where the instruction manual is. Nothing else."

 She nodded, blue eyes trained on the monster. Or purple eyes, apparently. Felix tensed as they changed colors. That wasn’t normal. He was pulled out of his panic by her continuing to talk.

 "I can work with that. The object is important, it's the link between the Miraculous itself and the person being used. It's something connected to the champion, and usually it's something to protect in battle. Since it's been corrupted though, we need to break it. That'll cut the connection, and then I can purify it."

 Félix nodded. That was relatively simple. "Seems almost straightforward."

 She scoffed. “Almost. I can hold him still if you can search for the object. It should be in his left hand.”

 “I can.” He left out the try. He wouldn’t be trying.

 “Ready?” she asked. He didn’t have time to respond because her weapon - he hadn’t seen it before, but it had a string and a weight on it - was already flying back out to the battleground. “Hey rockhead! One on one seems a bit unfair considering your size, doesn’t it?”

 The golem bent slightly, and started talking slowly. “What, did you bring a friend?”

 She smiled. “Made one, actually.” Her weapon shot out again, wrapping around the golem’s arm. She braced the string around her elbow, digging her heels into the ground. “Now!”

 Felix jumped forward, landing on top of the clenched fist. He started by trying to pry it open with his hands, but it wasn't budging. He hissed, glancing around the area while he dug his claws into the rock as the monster tried to throw him off. There had to be a way to get inside, without dusting the guy. Wait a minute. Dusting was one of his special powers. He also had a far-range one and a teleportation one. Just what he needed.

 He grinned, and called for the attack, thinking about where he wanted to go on the other side. “Black hole!” A black smoky disc appeared in midair, and Felix reached inside.

 It worked.

 He felt around the inside of the clenched hand, finding a bunched up paper flopping around. He pulled it out through the vortex.

 "Would this be an object?" he called, swallowing a scream as the Monster shook his hand again and Felix lost his grip. He landed against the rows of seats, and understood what the coccinelle girl had felt earlier. That hurt.

  “Break it!” She called, her yo-yo unravelling from around the akuma’s arm. She threw it out again, wrapping the villain up like a mummy.

 "Just crumble it?" he asked, rolling onto all fours despite the pain. He shouldn’t be alive after that, or at least not able to move.

 "Yes!"

 Felix did so, crushing the paper for all it was worth. It started to dissolve, and a butterfly materialised among the dust.

 His companion started to say something, but her voice was drowned out by what sounded like a rock slide. Felix looked back in time to see their foe start to, quite literally, come apart at the seams. Rocks started to rain around them, crashing loudly against the turf. “Get out of there!”

 Red emerged from the dust in a flip, pulling one of his homeroom classmates out with her. How did he get there?

 She turned to look at him. “Grab the Akuma!”

 “He’s a pile of rocks!” Felix called back.

 Above his head, a corrupted butterfly flapped languidly away. Her yo-yo shot out towards it, swinging past his head and then back. “Crap!”

 “What was that?” Felix asked, jumping back defensively.

 “The akuma butterfly!” Red yelled back. “It got away!”

 “What?”

***

 After they’d gotten Ivan to the ambulance with shock therapy, and Red explained it was a case of possession and there had better not be any repercussions against him, she jumped to a roof.

 Without the chaos, Felix could appreciate her suit better. It was mostly red and spotted, but she had black patches under her arms and on her legs, and a black casing on her back with a pink butterfly printed on it. Her mask was a light purple domino, and the ribbons tying her hair back into pigtails were mismatched and changing colors passively.

 “Are you okay?” Chat asked her carefully. He definitely wasn't.

 She glared up at him, eyes a blazing purple. “No! They're using my magic to terrorize my city, and- I still haven't fixed it." The last part of the sentence was subdued.

 Felix blinked. He looked over the city, crumbled with sirens and flashing lights blinking through the streets. It was barely midday, but felt much later. He sighed. "I don't understand what most of that means," Felix admitted softly. He could give her a little honesty. "But I'm willing to help."

 Red smiled sadly. "Thank you. But it isn't your battle."

 Felix scoffed. "Plagg would beg to differ."

 Red flinched. "Yeah, the Kwami do that." She opened her weapon like a flip phone and stuck her arm into it. After a few minutes of rummaging around, she pulled out a spotted piece of paper. Sickly black and purple bubbles started oozing from her gloves. Felix watched in fascinated wonder, terror creeping up his throat for no reason. The bubbles faded out, as did the feeling, leaving a red and black throwing disc in her hands. "I'll catch them. Whoever this is, whoever is behind this, I will catch them. And I will make them pay." She took a breath, the eyes under her mask a bright red. She tossed the disc in her hand once, twice, and then she threw it off the roof. "Miraculous Cure!!"

 It glowed. And then it split into a buzz of tiny, tiny sparkling bugs that split off and swirled across the city.

 Felix gasped as the buildings in view were pulled back up into their original placements. "How?"

 "Restoration," Red said quietly. "I'm borrowing their Miracle Stone."

 Felix hummed, not fully listening. This was… a lot better than he had hoped for.

 “You should head home.” Red said softly. “I’ll figure something out for this abuser.”

 “Will you be okay?” The question was a formality. Felix couldn’t do much to help, and he desperately wanted to get home and see his family. He should check in on Allegra too, and Claude and Allan.

 “Of course,” Red grinned, her eyes turning blue and open. Felix didn’t trust it, but he didn’t question it either.

 “Goodbye.” 

[ask-emily-em-emmy]

*For a moment, Emily wants to prod and press to get whatever information it is that Ass is withholding out, but then she realizes that’s probably not going to help at this point and decides to focus on what she can control*

“Okay, well I will get the bath ready, you two decide amongst yourselves what you’re comfortable with and I will be there in whatever degree that is, whether that’s washing your hair and back, or turned away facing the wall. Just let me know when you’re ready!” *She smiled at the two of them- the one of them- them, and headed into the bathroom to prepare*

*Emily snaps into a different outfit, shorts and a tank top, so that her dress can be washed. Possibly set on fire, she wasn’t sure if she ever wanted to wear it again considering the golden stains on the chest and sleeves.*

*The bath tub was specifically made to handle angel wings, a wide heart shape with a backrest in the middle and at the top point of the heart and a faucet on the bottom point of the tub. If Ass and Shamira felt comfortable with it, she could sit on the back over the rest and wash her hair from there. Honestly, the tub could probably have fit both of them comfortably sitting down. It also had jets to keep the water temperature the same although she didn’t use them very often, but Ass and Shamira deserved a little treat so she had them set to turn on when the water reached high enough.*

*She turned the tap on to a comfortably warm setting, pouring in a scoop of non-scented bath salts, a few drops of bubble bath and then adding a little tea bag with rosemary and calendula in it to perfume it. They were both good herbs for soothing muscles so hopefully it would help her relax*

*She picked out some soap options for Ass to choose from. Not a huge amount, just a few body washes, shampoos, and conditioners with varying scents and one of each with no scent at all so that she could pick and choose what she wanted based off of her hair and skin type. She grabbed two different face washes, one for sensitive skin and one heavy duty since Emily didn’t know what she used at home past the hotel-provided apple scented soaps she had found.*

*Then she grabbed a natural loofa, an exfoliating glove, a soft body towel, a hair wrap, a clean toothbrush with two types of toothpaste-just in case she had sensitive teeth-a few tiny bottles of face moisturizers, jojoba oil and geranium oil for her hair, the bottle of lotion she had used when she gave her a massage before, and finally, a couple fun face masks just in case she wanted them*

*She smiled at the selection before snapping her fingers and summoning candles all around the room, lit and making it smell like rosemary and eucalyptus to match the herbs in the tub*

*The door opened slowly behind her and she spun around with an excited grin* “Perfect timing! Everything should be ready but I have other options if there’s something else that you need, don’t hesitate to ask!” *She bounced lightly on her toes*

A: *she smiles and sighs and relaxes into Emily's couch, into the pleasant pressure against her, the fiery kiss and oh so delicious familiarity in her touch, her soft words and the hunger flashing in her eyes- after resigning herself to fading into nothingness trapped within the prison of her own mind, Ass is soaking in every sensation. The idea of a shower together is exceptionally tempting- it's exciting new territory, and she's not so tired that- ah. Right*

I am incapable of granting privacy but, if it's any consolation, I've seen your memories and will remain silent for the duration. It's as close as I can give you presently.

A: *she smiles, ignoring Shamira for the moment* "Keep that shower idea on the backburner for now, Sweetheart. We're gonna try that soon but bath sounds great for now. Then... make a pot of coffee. I can't sleep quite yet."

You should. You're exceptionally tired. It took an impressive amount of mental strength to break through the shielding that should've kept you in, not to mention prying it open in the first place. I never slept, so your body-

A: "Shamira, please, shut up." *she sighs, shaking her head* "You know I'm just going to argue with you, you can read my thoughts, right?"

I can interpret your intentions but you speak straight from the heart. The lack of careful wording makes it difficult for me to understand.

A: "Okay, so you can't read my mind perfectly, good to know, but you damn well know none of us can sleep until we've talked about... this." *she makes a vague gesture to herself and then looks up at Emily* "Shamira can't, like, disconnect- she's always gonna be aware of what I'm aware of and she's not comfortable seeing you naked in the flesh just yet."

I have said no such thing.

A: "You're not the only one with a vague feeling, dipshit." *she rolls her eyes* "Literal fuckin' asshole." *she refocuses her attention on Emily, running her hands along the seraph's sides, trying to soothe her- and herself in the same measure* "I do wanna cuddle. I wanna just bury myself inside of you and lose myself for a bit."

Okay, that mental image was entirely unnecessary.

A: "But, Shamira's not quite there yet." *she tilts her head, then shrugs* "Although, she really liked you tossing her through portals."

And that revelation was also unnecessary!

A: *she smirks* "There's nothing I want to do more than pick up right where we left off- we went to the big fancy party, now it's time for us to have some fun." *she wants to waggle her eyebrows but... instead, her expression pinches* "But... Shamira tried for me, even when she wasn't really sure what I even was, so I... kinda owe her. And- she wasn't able to talk to you before. Now, she can, and I feel like she has some things she'd like to say."

I am under no obligation to cooperate.

A: *to be fair, that was true, but she knew an easy way around that bit of stubbornness* "Do you want to talk to Shamira, Em?"

((@ask-emily-em-emmy))

[meowzfordayz]

take it out on me

Author’s Note: soft, soft, soft, and sOFT. 🥺

take it out on me

Kocho Shinobu x Reader, Shinazugawa Sanemi x Reader, Tomioka Giyuu x Reader

Word Count: ~1,500

CW: none

Song Inspo: Take It Out On Me by Justin Bieber

Emergency Request Fulfilled: hi T i dont really wanna pile in all the things you have to write but youre like the only person ik who does emergency requests for kny, so you can keep it short and take your time as much as you'd like

you can pick anyone in my favs or hashiras idrc who you wanna write for,, hopefully its just simple, just wanted some comfort for a s/o who's so bubbly and smiles a lot then one day it just stops. like they're just sluggish, blank face and probably just lays down on the floor, thinking. s/o says they feel "empty", "heavy" and doesn't really know why it happens so suddenly but assures them that they'll be fine in a few days. could how they'd deal and do for s/o the first it happens, and after being in a relationship for a while

it happens so randomly and i look for comfort but idc where to start so, 🙇‍♂️ you can put this aside btw since it just goes away in a few days

~faqs, image~

When you’re not your usual self…

Dotes on you

Mostly because she feels guilty for not noticing sooner

For assuming—taking for granted—that you were fine

She’s trained in medicine, yanno? Just as she can tell when you’re even slightly injured physically, she berates herself for not being able to tell that you were slowly slipping mentally

“There are more efficient ways to clean the floor, dearest,” Shinobu hums amusedly as she eyes your fidgeting figure lying haphazardly in the middle of the bedroom — decidedly not on the futon.

You shrug, barely glancing at her, continuing to tap mindlessly at your bent knees. Which, almost offends her (considering how prettily and purposefully she’s posed herself in the doorway), but your lack of acknowledgement is so uncharacteristic that she finds herself frowning instead.

“[y/n]?” she steps toward you, voice subconsciously softening, “Is there a particular reason you’re on the floor?”

“Tired,” you mutter indifferently.

“Would you like me to cozy the futon for you?” she smiles fondly, already poised to fetch the various throw pillows and blankets scattered throughout the estate.

“Not sleepy,” you mumble, “Tired.”

Faint understanding flickers across Shinobu’s forehead, deeper concern following soon after. Sleepy is something she’s familiar with: the weight of midnight and pillowtalk; arduous missions and grueling night shifts; too early mornings and hurried breakfasts. She adores—cherishes—sleepy, because she gets to witness you in a more mellow, whimsical state. Of course, she certainly appreciates your usual upbeat, energetic persona, but sleepy allows her to take care of you. Allows her to drape her haori over your shoulders, tugging you to bed. Allows her to brew you an especially strong mug of tea, pecking your forehead to wish you a bright, productive day. Allows her to indulge in complimenting you, murmuring sweet nothings, all with the intent to see you smile drowsily, flustered, pampered. But tired? Shinobu’s inexperienced with tired. Isn’t used to the lethargy in your movements; is off put by the distant curve of your lips; doesn’t know what to do to help.

“Did I-”

“Not your fault,” you interrupt gently, “Just, happens.”

“Well,” she straightens her posture, affectionate firmness indented between her brows, “What can I do?”

“Just… wait?” you ask hesitantly, “I don’t know how long I’m going to feel like this.”

Shinobu waits. Sits beside you. Eventually manages to settle your head in her lap. Cards slender fingers through your hair. Traces the slope of your nose, smooths the tension in your cheekbones. Giggles when your stomach inevitably rumbles. Her attempt to stand up halting when you grab her wrist. Quietly. Trustingly. A silent gesture of Not yet. Of Stay. The feather light kiss you brush against her palm. Please. She stays.

Gives you three options

One: go on a walk — together

Two: take a nap — together

Three: break stuff — together

Sanemi never pushes or pulls too far, and is attentive and caring in his own special manner. In fact, he often anticipates your sluggish, greyer days, tipped off by your just barely crooked smiles from the previous day. He doesn’t warn you, per se, because he knows how bubbly and optimistic you are: knows how relentlessly you pursue your ideal norm of playful, grinning, laughing — knows how draining and stubborn such an endeavor can be. Make no mistake: he admires and is grateful for the glimmer in your gaze; how openly and tenderly you smile; the undeniable softness reserved for just him as you press your fingertips fleetingly, intimately, against the small of his back. Which is why he’s so adamant about allowing, encouraging, you to feel whatever naturally arises. Happiness isn’t a priceless, easy thing — it is demanding and rewarding, exhausting and addicting.

Walking is great for gently unraveling you — weather permitting. Doesn’t matter if it’s morning, noon, or night: Sanemi is ~always willing to offer you his haori, smiling faintly when you accept it (you ~always do), wordlessly grasping your hand, leading you through the back door, already knowing exactly where he intends to take you (usually a secluded park, quiet river, or scenic hike). He’s mindful of distance, prepared to head home at any sign of discontentment, and absolutely carries you if he gets too ambitious (a common occurrence when he decides to venture on a trail). You’re typically still weary afterwards, but he can tell that the fog clinging behind your eyes isn’t quite as sour.

Napping is Sanemi’s go to when you’re too empty to even choose an option. He knows physical proximity can feel reassuring, and admittedly enjoys getting to curl up—sometimes in the middle of the day, responsibilities be damned—with you. He waits for you to fall asleep first, his bicep sacrificed for the greater good aka trapped under your head as his other hand cups your hip familiarly. Securely. Matching the timing of his breaths with yours; gradually, pleasantly, safely melting into the land of dreams. He generally wakes up before you, eyes readjusting, registering, the lingering amount of daylight. Naps can be as short as twenty minutes, or as long as four hours, but he does rouse you once he’s conscious, trying to prevent counterproductive grogginess — knowing you’ll feel at least slightly better.

Breaking stuff is Sanemi’s favorite option, but he’s also cautious about conducting it in a healthy, cathartic way — not just destruction for the sake of destruction. It isn’t about him and his impulsivity, temper, flair; it’s about helping, freeing, coaxing you from your numbness. You start timidly, throwing a chipped plate half heartedly at the wall. And then Sanemi chucks a splintered teacup full throttle. You snap. Eyes narrowing, mouth almost cheerful as you sling a fragment of a bowl, finally breaking into a sheepish smile as it bursts loudly.

“Is that the best you can do?” Sanemi smirks affectionately.

You huff, competitive glint in your stare.

“Hardly, Sanemi. Don’t get too cocky yet. I’m just warming up.”

Talks to you

Not out of fear or panic

Just feels like rambling might be the best course of action

Because he’s well aware that usually you’re the lively, invigorating, magnetic force inspiring him to do—to be—better

So why not try and return your kindness?

“I’m sorry you’re feeling bland,” Giyuu murmurs.

“What’re you doing?” you raise an eyebrow at the sound of something rustling, your eyelids too heavy to lift.

“Lying next to you.”

You jolt as his shoulder touches yours, chest tightening with an involuntary urge to get away even as your heart flutters at the reassuring safe emanating from his startling close warmth.

“I thought you were busy?”

“I’m never too busy for you,” he smiles gently, “We’re partners. It’d be rude of me to ignore your current dreariness. I know I make an aloof impression, but you’re always so patient and,” he swallows, shyness softening his tone, “And loving. Always so loving. I feel it’d be selfish of me to hoard your affection without at least attempting to return it. I know, I know. We’re partners you’re probably thinking, Patience and love is what it means to be together. And you’re correct, obviously. But that sort of ease, intimacy, doesn’t come as simply to me. Not- Not that it’s simple for you either! But, ah- You know how I am. Sometimes I wonder if my minimal expressions of adoration and desire are worthy of your confident, effervescent claiming of my heart. Don’t worry- I’m, I’m not insecure. I trust you. If you’re with me because I’m suitable, then I believe that I’m suitable. I guess I just wonder because,” he exhales quietly, “You amaze me. I look up to you, not in a self deprecating manner, but certainly in a I hope to love and be loved by you way.”

You turn, pressing your nose into his blushing form, sneaking a peek at the reddened tips of his ears — the protective tension in his jaw.

“I suppose I don’t have to hope. I do love you. And I am loved by you. This I know as fact. But I still have to try. Try to earn and keep your attention. Your care and concern. Because that’s what partners do. They strengthen and harden each other, just as they strip and bathe each other. Are as vulnerable and sincere with each other as they are tough and forgiving. You’ve taught me this. All of this. You’re incredible.”

“You flatter me,” you whisper.

“Not flattery,” Giyuu slips a cool finger under your chin, skimming delicate kisses across your eyelashes, “Honesty.”

You grip his haori, body flush against his; soaking in the feeling of the unyielding floor beneath you; the weight of his utterances heavy—perfect—as he shifts his legs.

“And, on the topic of honesty, this floor is far from comfortable.”

Whining lowly, you nuzzle further into his sweet scent, “Just a second.”

Giyuu suspects you’ll take longer than a second. But he doesn’t really mind. Not when he can feel your tattered aura slowly, surely glowing.

[loopy-froots]

Childhood Friends

Brahms Heelshire x afab!Reader

Author: @loopy-froots

Word Count: 3261 (WOW wtf…)

Slight request by @leahromanof : small age gap (Brahms is 26-28 and the reader is 20)

Summary: The Reader grew up very close to the Heelshire family, as their parents were business partners with them. However, after the fire incident, Brahms and the Reader took some space from each other. While the Reader knew Brahms was still alive, they didn’t know under the circumstances he was. When a sudden tragedy strikes their family, the Reader is left with no home. The Heelshire family offer their home with welcoming arms, but much has changed between all of them since they have last seen each other.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, swearing, slasher x reader, smut, virgin/unprotected sex (masc and fem), abusive parents (fem), insecurities (on both parts), slight age gap (6ish years?), a slight size kink (if you squint?), etc.

Author’s Note: I wasn’t too sure what to write for the age gap so I hope this is good enough!!! I also threw in a lot of personal needs I’ve been having, so I hope y’all don’t mind! Feel free to let me know your thoughts!!!

~~~

*2nd Person POV*

You couldn’t believe this was happening. You were finally going to see your beloved childhood friend, Brahms Heelshire, again after close to ten years of separation. You wished this was not under these circumstances, as you never intended to cause your family such turmoil.

“Y/n! Come in, why don’t you?” Mr. Heelshire exclaims as he opens his front door. He must have seen you walk up their driveway. You can see Mrs. Heelshire inside, but she shares a concerning expression. Trying to brush it off, you step inside and am greeted by the warmth of the house. It was a terribly chilly winter day, and the walk there exhausted you.

“Come, dear! Let me get you a cup of tea to warm you up! You look rather frozen!” Mrs. Heelshire snaps out of her funk and laughs al0ng with her husband. Their jovial attitude makes you feel rather welcomed and loved.

“I cannot thank you enough, Mr. and Mrs. Heelshire… I… I’m terribly sorry that this all happened… especially so suddenly…” You look down with embarrassment.

“Nonsense! We’re always happy to have you, Y/n! Our home is yours!” Mr. Heelshire smiles at you, but you get a somewhat urgent vibe from him. You’re not sure how to feel about it, but you figure since they’re being ever so kind you were in no position to question.

“Now, dear… why don’t you tell us exactly what happened… Perhaps we may help with your parents’ situation?” Mrs. Heelshire gently suggests, but you shake your head in disagreement.

“Unfortunately, I’m not sure that’s possible… you see, I recently came out to my parents as non-binary… they’ve never been overly supportive of that kind of stuff, but I knew I couldn’t hide myself any longer…” You explain shamefully.

“Oh my… that is a rather difficult predicament, hm? However, we want you to know that we fully support you… in fact, our own Brahms considers himself genderfluid,” Mrs. Heelshire shares, which honestly makes you feel less alone.

“Really? I… I had no idea… Thank you, but speaking of which… where is Brahms…? Does he still live with you?” You wonder.

“Oh, um… yes… he does, but he’s grown to be rather… timid… so he doesn’t always come out when people are visiting…” Mr. Heelshire explains swiftly, and you try to understand. You don’t fully know what he’s been through, so who are you to judge his social anxieties?

“That’s alright. Well, I just hope he knows how excited I am to see him again…” You confess, causing a surprised reaction from the Heelshire couple.

“Really? Well, that’s certainly wonderful! I’m sure he'll become more open to meeting you after he gets used to you being in the house…” Mrs. Heelshire states with a gentle smile, and you nod your head in agreement.

With that, you are then taken on a tour of the house. You’re shown areas you can and cannot wander to, and you mentally note each location that’s off limits. You’d never want to make the Heelshires uncomfortable, despite how curious you were. They show you to your room, which you immediately recognize as Brahms’ childhood room.

“Oh wow! This looks exactly how I remembered it!” You giggle.

“I’m glad you’re fond of it still, as Brahms insisted you take his room for your own… comfort…” Mr. Heelshire shares, but something tells you he’s not entirely being honest. However, you ignore the feeling bubbling up in your stomach.

“Well, feel free to unpack your things dear. As we mentioned before, we are planning on going on a trip within the next few days. So it will be just you and Brahms for a while…” Mrs. Heelshire reminds you, and you shiver slightly for some reason.

“Oh, yes… Well, I hope the two of you enjoy it!” You politely respond.

~~~

“Goodbye, dear! And remember, follow the rules and you’ll get no trouble from our dear Brahms!” The Heelshires bid you farewell and leave in their cab. Closing the door, you sigh in relief.

“Alright, follow the rules… I can do that… it’s the least I can do since they were so kind as to let me stay for a while…” You motivate yourself.

“Y/n…” A sudden familiar, childlike voice echoes through the house. You looked around to see who it came from, but you saw no one. It had to be Brahms, right? Who else could it have been, but where was he?

“B-Brahms?” You sheepishly call out. You hear no answer and suddenly feel quite stupid. Maybe you just heard the shifting of the house or imagined someone was calling your name?

“Alright, focus… first things first, making some lunch… hopefully he’ll come down to eat with me…?” You hope. You could’ve sworn you heard another childish giggle somewhere, but you try to shake the skittish feeling building up. You quickly make whatever you feel like for lunch, desperate to finish so that you can call Brahms down to eat.

“Um, Brahms? I… lunch is done… if you want some?” You yell throughout the house, but you hear no answer. Finally feeling defeat, you turn back to the kitchen and notice that one of the plates of food has disappeared.

“How did he get to it without me noticing?” You ask out loud. Every instinct within you tells you that something was wrong, but you tried your best to give the man some time to adjust to the new living situation.

“Y/n…?” In the middle of eating, you hear a now more adult version of the voice you heard earlier. You drop your fork in surprise and frantically look around for the source. You then see a tall and scruffy looking man standing at the end of the dining room. He was holding the plate that is now empty, and you figure that must be Brahms. He was very odd looking, in all honesty. He wore a porcelain mask that resembles the type of little dollies you used to keep as a kid.

“Oh, um… h-hello, Brahms…?” You try to be friendly towards him, despite the creepy feeling you got from him already. However, him not answering causes the suspicion to form again.

“Um… did you enjoy the meal I made for you?” You try to spark a conversation, but Brahms nonverbally nods in response.

“That’s good! I’m… glad…” You smile awkwardly at him, but his masked face remains expressionless. You shift uncomfortably in your seat, and Brahms notices the tense state you’re in. He begins to step closer to you, and sets his plate on the table. Sweating profusely, you wonder what he’s doing. He steps closer and closer to you until he’s directly in front of you. While you sit, he towers over you. You’d never admit it, but he’s very intimidating. However, you try your best to be polite.

“Is… everything alright, Brahms?” You ask innocently. He just stares at you, though, never saying a word. When you were about to get up and try to walk away, he grabs your arm and pulls you into him.

“B-Brahms…?!” You exclaim as he squeezes you in his broad arms. He’s rather warm, but trembling. Your heart relaxes when you realize he only wanted a hug.

“Y/n… nice to see you again…” He finally peeps out. Your cheeks heat up, but you lean into the embrace. The two of you just hold onto each other for a few moments, enjoying each other’s presence.

“Good to see you, too! I was worried you were upset with me for coming back after such a long time…” You try to pull away and look him in the eyes, but his grip keeps you there.

“Mm, no… not upset… lonely…” He breathes into your ear, sending a chill down your back. He was… lonely? That makes you feel bad… really bad… how could you leave him like you did after the incident?! It wasn’t completely your fault, as you parents were the main reason you stayed away. They told you what a dangerous person Brahms was, and they forbid you from being influenced by him in any way.

Additionally, your parents never liked how fond the two of you seemed towards each other, despite the slight age difference you had. Brahms was only six years older, and to you it didn’t matter for terms of friendship. However, your parents saw the attraction Brahms had towards you right away. As children, it only developed into a little crush, but the older the two of you got the more obvious it became, to the adults at least. You seemed quite oblivious to his attempts to woo you, as you had just thought he was being friendly.

“I…I’m sorry, Brahms… I should’ve… I wish I’d have… I’m sorry…” Tear well in your eyes as you look down from his gaze. Your focus then shifts to the ever growing bulge in his pants that you hadn’t noticed before.

“It’s alright… happy you’re here now…” Brahms strokes your hair with his free hand, and he leans into you. You feel him stroke your neck with his nose, seemingly trying to get a reaction out of you. Completely frozen, you felt unsure of what to do. All of the sudden, your head’s ideas clicked and made you realize the years of yearning he’d been doing for you.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t still have feelings for the boy you grew up with. You always admired how protective he was of you. You never admitted your affection towards him, though, as you thought he might react negatively. To you, the age difference acted as a barrier, but to him, it seemed he didn’t mind in the slightest. All he’s ever known was his love for you, despite the age gap. However, is this still the same boy as before? You probably barely knew him anymore. Then why were you getting so flustered over this simple interaction?

“Brahms?” You look back into his eyes with a curious glint. What was he planning with you?

“Hm?” He nonchalantly answers.

“Are you…?” You start, but then feel too embarrassed to finish.

“Yes,” He agrees without needing you to explain. You feel him jerk his hips into your stomach softly, desperate to get some friction between the two of you. As intoxicating as he was being, you still felt unsure of your stance with him.

“I’m not sure I want to… I mean, this is so soon… don’t you think?” You try to reason mainly with yourself to try and stop this from happening. With that, Brahms stops and pulls away from you with a pout.

“No?” He questions with sweet eyes.

“I… yes…?” You try to stand your ground with yourself again, but it’s no use. Brahms’ heartfelt pleading turns you to putty in his hands.

“Please?” He begs. With that, you finally agree, and he’s onto you. Groping all up and down your sides, front, and back, he feels every inch of your body as if he’s desperate to find something in you.

“Brahms… wait…?” You stop him again, realizing you hadn’t seen his actual face yet. You politely ask him to remove his mask, but he visibly slumps.

“Why…? You… don’t want to see me…” Brahms insecurely explains, but you shake your head.

“I do! Please…?” You whine as he continues to feel up your back. Brahms hesitates slightly, then agrees. With that, he slowly removes the porcelain from himself. This leaves his bare, burnt, and uncertain face into your view. You’re unsure of what to say at first, as your feelings are conflicted. However, you quickly decide to go with what your heart felt.

“You’re so handsome, Brahms…” You confess with a sheepish smile. He doesn’t respond, though, almost as if he’s debating what to say as well.

“Mm!” You moan through a sudden kiss he placed on your lips, making Brahms smile to himself in the kiss. He loved the way you reacted to his touch. He quickly realized you were feeling the same towards him, and that gave him the confidence to continue. You rapidly grew a certain heat in your pelvic area, but the feeling was still unfamiliar to you. Only on the rare occasion did you allow yourself the pleasure, but you felt guilty for it every time.

“Slut… whore… useless daughter…” Your parents’ past words radiate in your head, and a panic washes over your body. Brahms senses your inner conflict again, and stops once more.

“Y/n…?” He gently asks to see if you’re alright. Tears well up in your eyes as the guilt of disappointing your parents consumes you.

“I’m sorry, I just… my mom and dad would be so upset… I just feel so… lost…” You admit, and Brahms wipes your cheeks with his calloused hands.

“Mm, screw them…” He chuckles darkly.

“But…” You try to argue, but he shushes you instead.

“They’ve never been good to you, Y/n…” Brahms shares, and it confuses you at first. They’ve always given you food, shelter, and anything else a child would need.

“But they… they mean well…” You try to reason it out, but he still disagrees.

“I’ve been watching, listening to how they treat you your whole life, Y/n… the way they scream at you, gaslight you, disappoint you… that’s not love… that’s abuse…” Brahms whispers with a broken heart for you. The pain of realization hits you, but you try to muffle your cries with your hands over your mouth.

“I’m so sorry… I know how hard it is… but I… I want to love you… really love you…” He kisses the top of your head sweetly. His words fill your heart with hope that you might not be miserable the rest of your life.

“Really…? I mean, I would love that… but I don’t want to force you into anything…” You self doubt yourself.

“Absolutely. I mean, hell… why do you think I was doing all of this?” Brahms wonders, and you suppose he’s right.

“Yeah, true… I’m sorry, I just feel bad… but thank you, I’d love to… y’know…?” You admit with a shy grin, which he immediately returns.

“Good,” He smirks and kisses you again. This time, the kiss was much more desperate for the sweet result. Brahms shows no mercy for you this time as he begins biting your lips. Your little gasps invoke a strong sense of pride within him. He was making you feel this way, and he alone would make you feel good.

“Hm,” His deep voice rumbles in his chest. Your eyes flutter open and shut, unsure of how to go about this situation. Squirming around awkwardly, you then feel Brahms grab your waist as he lifts you up and onto the table.

“Ah! Brahms...?!” You yelp in surprise.

“Take off your shirt, Y/n.” He demands, already sliding his hands underneath. You timidly follow his instructions, removing your shirt and bra from your body. Brahms looks down from your face and onto your breasts. He adored them, so he ran his hands over them as he gave each nipple a cheeky pinch.

“Oh, Brahms…” Your eyes close in bliss, but he snaps your attention back to his eyes.

“Look at me,” He suggests sternly.

“O-okay…” You do as he wishes and stare deep into his icy eyes. He’s tender and gentle, but he still makes you feel so small next to him.

“You’re so pretty, Y/n… I’ve always loved you…” Brahms brushes a stray lock of hair out of your face, giving him a better view at your beauty.

“I have loved you for the longest time, too, Brahms… I just never knew how to tell you…” You try your best to express your feelings, but your past experience with doing so has never been easy for you. Each emotion you shared ended in an argument with your parents.

“I’m so glad… please…” Brahms pleads, leaning his forehead against yours. He didn’t have to finish for you to understand what he wanted.

“C’mere…” Your sudden burst of trust hits the two of you like a train. Brahms roughly attacks your neck with his lips and teeth, nipping at all your sensitive areas. Exploring each and every inch, he scopes out which areas you like best.

“Mm, Y/n…” He whimpers, rubbing his needy cock against your body. You had neglected it for far too long, and you wanted to give it some love too.

Lowering your hand down to his member, you stroke him through his pants. Pre-cum leaks from his tip and soaks through his underwear slightly. His moans fill your ears with sweet misery. The lack of being inside of you was killing him, but he wanted to take things slow for you.

“Ah, Y/n…! Please! I’ll be a good boy!” He begs you to allow him entrance, and you agree. Instantaneously, he pulls his clothes off and prepares his painfully hard cock to slide into you.

“Oh! You feel… so tight…!” He didn’t tell you, but this was his first time as well. The first feeling of being inside of someone, especially when that someone is you, was the best feeling he’s ever felt. He couldn’t help himself but pump in and out of you. He tried his best to go slow, but his selfish excitement got the better of him. However, you were far from upset by this.

“Ah! D-don’t… stop…!” You plead with him, and he obliges. Slapping his body into yours in a rhythmic motion causes you to quickly feel that coil in your stomach tighten around him.

“F-fuck…! You’re gonna make me…!” As quickly as it started, your love making ended. The two of you came together simultaneously, and everything felt perfect to you. However, Brahms felt a wave of guilt.

“I… I’m sorry… I wish I had lasted longer… and I shouldn’t have pressured you into this…” He goes on and on about all the things he could’ve done better, but you then stop him with a chaste peck on his lips.

“You were perfect. Thank you,” You lovingly look into his eyes. He searches for any sort of regret, but when he finds none he settles into your arms.

~~~

MY REQUESTS FOR DRAWING AND WRITING ARE STILL OPEN!! FEEL FREE TO SEND AN ASK/MESSAGE WITH YOUR IDEA!!

[yslkook]

TiO (8)

mind of mine masterlist

summary: jungkook is a man of mystery and you take him on a date.

pairing: “badboy” jk x “shy/reserved” oc

warnings: cursing, alc, excessive use of pet names, a shitty relationship, unprotected sex (pls use protection, these two are being foolish) , some choking, grinding, making out, oral

word count: ~6.3k

a/n: if you want to be tagged, send an ask plz. would love to hear your thoughts. a big thank you to @cutechim for creating the texts for me lmao<33

***

Jungkook remains tight-lipped about what it was he had done over the weekend, when he had gone with Jin and Mina to a tattoo convention a few hours away. They had ended up staying the night there, and while Jungkook wanted to ask you to come with him, he wondered if it was too soon to ask. After all, you were both still enjoying each other’s company at your own sweet pace.

Eventually his little secret gets put on the back burner for the rest of the week. You were supposed to get bubble tea with him on Tuesday, but unfortunately a last minute work issue with your client and your application came up. You’d ended up working late, your eyes screaming in fatigue and went straight to bed that evening. He had understood, of course he did.

On Thursday, he was supposed to grab lunch with you at a cafe that he thought you might like, but this time it was him who had a conflict. His older sister had showed up to the tattoo parlor without any prior notice. She does this every so often, when things aren’t going well with her on again, off again shitty “boyfriend”.

Jungkook had sighed, cancelling on lunch with you to spend time with Jooyeon and comfort her with fried chicken and ice cream. You had sent an understanding thumbs up and a promise to call him later and end up having lunch with your work wife, Kira instead.

Kira who doesn’t fail to point out the glow in your cheeks and your general aura, even though it’s been nearly a week and a half since you saw Jungkook last. You roll your eyes and ignore the flames in your cheeks (and her laughter), and change the subject to your work projects. She tells you about some of the coding issues and compliance issues she’s been having with her software, and you tell her about the hours you’ve been pouring into your application for your client.

It doesn’t bother you that Jungkook hadn’t asked if you wanted to meet his sister. After all, he’d told you bits and pieces about her and her relationship. And in the last few weeks, your relationship has blossomed so beautifully. There was no reason to rush, you think. You’ll meet her hopefully under better circumstances for her.

Jungkook spends most of the evening with Jooyeon, letting her cry herself to sleep in his bed. His sister hardly ever cries like this, with sobs full of pain and hurt because of another man. But it’s been happening too much lately, too many fights and too much of Joo losing herself. It makes Jungkook see red more often than not. He knows what you’d say- that she needs him more than anything else and to not be so impulsive.

He makes sure Joo eats a warm meal before she falls asleep and he shoots you a text:

Jungkook: baby

You: hi

You: everything ok?

Jungkook: no, joo’s bf is a fkin asshole

Jungkook: she’s sleeping

Jungkook: miss u

You: im sorry baby :( can i call you?

He jumps at the chance, the sound of your voice and sight of your pretty face on video call instantly calming him. Jungkook is sure to wear a beanie to hide his surprise for you (but you don’t question it. After all, you’ve seen him in beanies plenty of times before and it’s dim in the apartment.) He moves to the couch, asking softly for you to tell him about your day. You recount every single detail from memory, shifting under your covers to tell him about how you had nearly stumbled down the stairs in front of your manager’s manager because you had missed a step.

It pulls a soft laugh from him.

“Jungkook,” You say quietly, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t even know what to say,” Jungkook sighs, “She’s just… Byung-woo and her have had this on and off thing for years now. He won’t commit to her and she just refuses to see him for what he is. Like, when it’s good, it’s really good. But when it’s bad, it’s awful. I wish she’d fucking see it for herself. I don’t know what to do anymore, baby.”

“Oh, baby,” You murmur, wishing you could hug him, “All you can do is be there for her but be honest with her. She’ll come around soon, hopefully. It’s hard to see past a shitty person sometimes, when all you want is for them to love you.”

“I hope so, too,” Jungkook says, “She’d love you, you know?”

“Who wouldn’t?”

“Don’t get a big head,” Jungkook chuckles, “Maybe you can meet her someday. Under better circumstances, I mean.”

“Really? You want me to meet your older sister?” You ask softly, feeling a little flustered, “That’s serious.”

“I told you, baby,” Jungkook soothes, “I’m serious about you.”

“Yeah. Seriously crazy about me,” You giggle to yourself. You know if Jungkook was with you, he’d flick your forehead.

“It’s true,” He murmurs, “Maybe I can see you this weekend?”

“Yeah, you still have to show me what you did over the weekend! Take care of Jooyeon first,” You reply, “Let me know if you need anything. I’ll drop stuff off, just tell me.”

“I will,” Jungkook promises, “Sleep well, I miss you.”

“Sleep well. I miss you.”

***

Jooyeon ends up leaving on Saturday morning after a lecture from Jungkook and with determined resolve in her eyes. You jump at the chance to take him out tonight, knowing how stressed he’s been the last few days.

You: be ready at 6:30 tn, im taking u out. and dress slutty

Jungkook doesn’t know how to interpret your text when he reads it. He considers asking Mina and Mei what this means, but ultimately leaves it alone. Replying to your message with a quick thumbs up, he busies himself with getting ready to see you (and surprising you, finally after a full week of wanting to show you what he had done.)

Once you parallel park your car (which takes far too long than you’d like to admit), you grab the small bouquet of purple roses that you had gotten for Jungkook and text him saying that you’ll be up in a few minutes.

Taehyung had caught you struggling to parallel park, and had told Jungkook with a snicker. Which earned him a punch to the arm.

There wasn’t a particular reason that you had chosen to get purple roses for him, other than the fact that they reminded you of him. You hope he likes them.

Jungkook hears a soft knock at the door, and can already envision you behind it. He hopes you like his surprise, the one he’s been teasing you for a week about. You had given no hints of what you would be wearing- you had only sent him one selfie that didn’t give much of a hint into your outfit. He has no doubt that you’ll look gorgeous, but still.

Maybe Jungkook’s nerves shouldn’t be this intense, but he can’t help it. He swings the front door open, only to be greeted by you swaying on your feet with your hands held behind your back. His heart throbs when you pull your hands apart and present him with a beautiful bouquet of purple roses.

How ironic.

“Hello,” You say with a small smile, suddenly feeling a little shy and gasping when your eyes land on his hair, “Wow. You weren’t kidding…”

His hair is tied back into a ponytail, but it’s unmistakably elegant and so violet. Two neat pieces of his newly dyed hair fall into his face effortlessly, but then your gaze reaches the piercing on his left eyebrow. Your lips remain parted in surprise and without thinking, you reach up to touch his hair. It’s still soft, as it always is.

“Come in, baby,” Jungkook says, taking the roses from you, “You must really like me, huh? Got me flowers and everything?”

“Shut up,” You mutter, cheeks heating up, “Don’t get a big head.”

Jungkook only grins wolfishly at you and winks at you, eyes unashamedly glued to your ass. You roll your eyes, and swat his shoulder as you watch him put the rose in a vase and place it in the center of the dining table.

This isn’t the first time you’ve been in his shared apartment (that he lives with Taehyung and Jimin in) but you somehow feel shy in his presence again, as if it was the first time. The first time you had been here with him had been the first time you had spent the night at his apartment several weeks ago, after a night out with your friends.

You let your gaze wander, curious eyes settling on the subtle matching of the furniture and the cleanliness of the apartment. There’s not a stray speck of dust in sight, but maybe you’re distracting yourself from addressing the pretty purple of his hair. Your mouth is dry, and you’re probably drooling a little. You wonder if Jungkook prepared for this, the same way you did (in that you had washed your car, cleaned every inch of it and gotten a new car freshener).

A faint scent of fresh laundry and lavender sits in the spaces of his home. It calms you and gives you the boost to turn your eyes to him.

“Thanks for the roses, baby,” Jungkook says, giving you a smile and starry eyes. He pulls you into his arms, your back against the counter. “Surprise. Do you like it?”

“Uh,” You mumble, brain deciding to short-circuit with the way he looks at you. His smile turns into a smirk, deciding to further render you speechless by pressing himself closer to you and cradling your neck. He’s careful not to touch your face. He doesn’t want to mess your makeup up terribly, at least not yet.

“I know you like my hair. Your face says it all, baby,” Jungkook continues and ducks his head for a quick kiss, “You’re pretty.” He does quite like this dress, light blue and dotted in small flowers with thin straps. His eyes are instantly drawn to the drawstring at the center of your chest and he quells the urge to pull at it.

Jungkook’s mouth waters when he sees the side split of the dress but you want more from him immediately, but he pulls away to your chagrin. Even with the simple kiss, the burgundy color of your lipstick stains his plump bottom lip.

You shiver. It appears that he tried to take your words via text to heart- to dress slutty. He’s wearing a loose animal print button up, with the top three buttons undone. It gives you a delectable view of his pecs, his collarbones and a hint of the tattoo on his right side. As if you weren’t already weak in the knees for him as it was, he wears a black coat and tight, leather pants.

Jungkook pulls it off, like he pulls everything off and the purple hair blends seamlessly with his look. Tonight, he’d opted for two silver hoops in each ear and a thin silver necklace to match.

Your knees are weak, they’ve been weak since you had seen him in this offensive outfit and his hair, his new piercing that was clearly an attack on your entire existence.

The purple hair. The piercing. He’ll be the death of you tonight, you know it. Your legs are wobbly, panties already probably a little wet just from seeing him and from a few of his kisses. But you can’t help it. Without thinking, you press your lips to his, drawing your tongue into his mouth eagerly. You are so hungry, so eager to devour him and drink up anything that he offers you. Jungkook tugs you closer to him lightly by your waist but-

“Seriously? Right in front of my dinner?” Comes an amused voice from behind Jungkook and you nearly screech at the familiar sound of Jimin’s voice.

“I- I didn’t-You-” You stammer, feeling your face heat up to a degree that it’s definitely never heated up to before. You hide behind Jungkook to fix your surely wrecked lipstick. You’re certain his own lips are probably comically smudged with your lipstick as well. “Sorry Jimin, I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know, we’ll leave-”

Jungkook only rolls his eyes at Jimin’s wide smirk and knowing eyes. He hears you scolding Jungkook for not telling him that anyone was home, to which he promptly responds “well, you didn’t ask!”

Despite the very natural and easy flow of conversation between you and Jungkook in your car, you still feel overheated and jumpy, your fingers incessantly tapping on the steering wheel. It’s not Jungkook, it’s you and your own nerves. It’s not the first time you’ve gone out to dinner with him and it’s certainly not the first time you’ve had him in your car. If Jungkook notices, he says nothing.

“Where are we going, baby?” Jungkook asks, looking at you. You don’t meet his eyes, choosing instead to focus on the road despite being at a red light.

“Umm, that place you mentioned the other day. The one we talked about trying together,” You say softly. Jungkook can only wonder why you’re a little quiet, but he thinks he knows. You slip into your head so easily and he doesn’t mind gently tugging you out of your thought cloud and into reality with him.

“Can you help me park,” You mumble sheepishly, “I get nervous parking in such tight spaces.”

“Yeah, pull over here before it’s impossible to,” Jungkook murmurs. You nod and do so, hopping out of the driver’s seat to switch places with him. But before you can get in the passenger’s seat, Jungkook grips your wrist loosely. You look at him curiously, with wide eyes and he drops a kiss to your lips, swallowing your surprise.

“You’re so pretty,” Jungkook murmurs, “So fucking pretty, baby. I love this dress on you.” You preen at his praise, leaning forward for another kiss with a shy smile. He subtly squeezes your left tit before letting his hand travel downward.

“You look really good, Jungkook,” You murmur before he kisses you, “I-I really, really like it. A lot.”

He gently caresses your thigh from under your dress, the heat of his hand shooting straight up your core. Jungkook slips his tongue into your mouth quickly, coaxing your endearing nervousness away. As if you both aren’t pulled over to the side of the street where cars are passing you by (and surely wondering why you both were making out like this in public).

“Are we gonna be those people who have a roadside quickie,” You laugh, gently pushing his shoulder when you pull away.

“Roadside quickie? Get your mind out of the gutter,” Jungkook says but his lips twist into a wicked smirk, “But hey, if you wanna give me road head, I’m not going to complain about it-”

“Ha, you would be so lucky,” You scoff, feeling your nerves beginning to ease out of you, “C’mon, our reservation is soon. And then we can talk about road head.”

Dinner goes perfectly and after a glass of wine you feel those inexplicable nerves wash away. What did you have to be nervous for anyway? It was Jungkook- Jungkook who you’ve known for years. Your friend before any of this. He asks you about work, how your application is going-

“Your client sounds pretty demanding,” Jungkook muses, “You keeping up with it okay?”

“Yeah, but I’m not even an application engineer so I’m just learning as I go. My true roots are data and data science but I get to see all of it. Which is cool. But also time consuming, like the other evening, I had to read up on the compliance regulations. But my favorite thing is creating modeling and programs for this app, it’s really cool because it’s healthcare specific. So I’m learning about that sector as well, it’s mostly python but we’ve been doing testing with different healthcare providers in the area and they’re all responding really well to it-” You’re rambling, you know it, but your passion for your career knows no bounds and Jungkook makes no move to stop you. He only smiles at you, eyes crinkling and nose scrunching, gesturing for you to continue.

It’s funny. Not even a few months ago, you would have cut yourself off from your own rambling. In an attempt to convince yourself that the other person didn’t need to hear about it. Maybe that was Sora’s subconscious influence on you. Today, you don’t think twice about it, glowing and shimmering under the dim, blue lights of the restaurant as you tell Jungkook more about your job.

He makes your heart race and he’s sitting right in front of you. Your chin is in your hands as you listen to the pretty words slipping out of his lips. He’s so dreamy, and you struggle to not let your gaze stray from his eyes and linger on his exposed tattoos and chest. You don’t even know where to look, deciding to settle on the way his newly purple locks fall to his forehead just perfectly.

“What do you wanna eat for dessert?” You murmur, looking at the menu and cautiously allowing your foot to brush against his.

In hindsight, you should’ve seen it coming-

“You,” Jungkook says easily, as if he’s talking about the weather.

“Corny,” You roll your eyes, but nudge his foot again. You end up deciding on sharing a slice of decadent, chocolate mousse cake. Which Jungkook ends up finishing off when you satisfy your sweet tooth after a few big bites.

He leans over without a second thought, thumbing away stray cream from the corner of your mouth. Your tongue darts out to lick the tip of his thumb and he looks at you with wide eyes before grinning roguishly.

“Wanna get outta here, baby?”

“Should I take you home, Jungkook?” You ask, finding the courage somewhere in the remnants of the glass of wine currently evaporating from your system to take his hand in your lap once you’re both settled in your car.

“Do you want to take me home?” Jungkook asks with a quirked eyebrow.

“I have some wine I think you’d like at my place. I just got it,” You say a little breathlessly, “And I have to inspect something, I might need your help.” Jungkook laughs, a little derisively and you pout.

“You don’t have to bribe me with wine, baby. You know I would’ve been down regardless,” Jungkook says, squeezing your hand, “What do you need to inspect? Do you have a leak or something?”

“Yeah, I’ve got a leak alright,” You say under your breath, thinking about the growing wetness in your panties, “My man just showed up here with purple hair and an eyebrow piercing, looking like a damn model after one whole week. I have to inspect him.”

“Oh, is that so? In that case, I would love to be your lab rat. Besides, it’s not like I haven’t seen the inside of your bedroom before-”

“Who said you’d get that far?”

“I already did, baby. Did you forget?” Jungkook’s smirk widens, eyes sparkling with mischief. He gently cups your face, thumb on your chin and hovers just over your lips. You think he’s about to kiss you, so you close your eyes in anticipation of his lips on yours.

But it never comes. Instead, his breath fans over your cheeks and he lets out a low laugh. “I sure didn’t forget, and I know you didn’t either.”

You roll your eyes and swat his hand away, ignoring (but letting out a smile) when he chuckles. You decide to hold his hand for as much of the drive back home you can.

Jungkook’s hands are on your hips even as you’re fumbling with the keys to your front door. He’s a distraction, his warm heat plastered against your back and the simple act of opening your damn door feels like too much of a chore. When Jungkook’s lips glaze over the back of your neck, his fingers roaming your waist, it’s difficult for you to focus.

So Jungkook scoffs and turns the key for you. “Can’t open the door, baby?” Jungkook taunts and you level him with a glare.

“It’s not my fault you can’t keep your hands to yourself in front of my door!”

“You like it,” Jungkook says, shutting the door behind him and hugging you as you try to walk away from him to wash up. You escape his grip with a giggle and lock yourself in your bathroom, while Jungkook waits with a disgruntled pout.

When you come out, you head into the kitchen to pour out two glasses of wine and bring some snacks out. You’re not particularly hungry, though you wouldn’t mind eating and you’re sure Jungkook wouldn’t mind either.

Your train of thought is of course interrupted by the man himself and he wraps his arms around you from behind, pushing you into the counter. One might say that Jungkook is being clingy, but you know this is how he shows his affections. Through physical touch more than anything else. And you quite like it, you like the reassurance of his body close to yours. It’s what you’ve always wanted and never known that you needed.

“Missed you,” He breathes into your hair. Even if he’s been with you for the last few hours… You understand him. It feels like you’re both making up for lost time. For time that you could’ve spent together, rather than apart.

“Me too,” You murmur, “Can you take this to the couch, honey? I’ll bring the glasses and the wine.”

Jungkook hums and kisses your temple, squeezing your ass before heeding your soft demand. You sit next to him, thighs touching, and pour out a glass for both of you to enjoy. You lean against his shoulder, wrapping an arm around his bicep and turn the television on. But neither of you are really paying attention.

“Hey,” Jungkook murmurs, “I had a good time tonight, baby.”

“Don’t I know it,” You say smugly, “It’s not everyday a pretty girl takes you out for din-” He cuts your words off by pulling you into his lap, somehow not spilling even a single drop of wine in the movement. You would’ve killed him if even a hint of a wine stain appeared on your velvet couch.

You press your hand into his shoulder, the hint of his tattoo and the glint of his piercing catching your eye. You swirl your glass of wine with your other hand. “What a precarious position to be in,” You say dryly, even grinding your hips into his playfully. He gives you a look, and stills your movements with one hand on your waist. Jungkook sets his glass on the coffee table behind you and cradles your neck, pulling you down for a sharp kiss. It’s almost desperate and needy, nothing like his kisses from before.

You slip your tongue into his honeyed mouth, tasting seeds of his desperation with your tongue. But then, you remember your wine glass and pull away from his lips with a lewd smack to reach behind you and place it on the coffee table as well.

“So pretty,” Jungkook moans, pushing the straps of your dress to the side and dotting your shoulders in wine-stained kisses, “Pretty girl, my pretty baby-”

You tilt his cheek towards you for a kiss, whining into his mouth at his praise. It shoots down your spine in a delicious hum and his hands roaming the expanse of your back makes you feel warm and powerful.

The way your hips move in time with his, the way you fit into the crevices of his thighs and his chest- he just wants to give you everything. He wants to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Jungkook will give you everything, if you let him.

“And what about you?” You rasp with swollen lips and wild eyes when you finally pull away. You press your fingers into the exposed, inky part of his chest, where his shirt is unbuttoned for your eyes. “You look so fucking good all the time, but-but I told you to dress slutty and you did this for me, huh? You did this for me, bunny?”

Jungkook’s cock jumps in his tight pants and his throat goes dry. Your eyes are devious, filled with mischief and sin and he gives himself to you fully and wholly.

“Yeah,” Jungkook nods eagerly, “Yeah, I wanted to look nice for you, baby.”

“A-and your hair,” You mumble, feeling a little lovesick, “I love it, I love it, I love it-I just wanna- wanna make you feel good. Can I do that, bunny? Make you feel good?”

Jungkook nods with wide, doe eyes, wondering how the tables were turned so quickly.

“Take me to my bedroom,” You demand softly. The glasses of wine and snacks on the tray are left forgotten as Jungkook easily scoops you up in his arms. Even with your lips soft and slow against his neck, he somehow makes it to your bed.

It’s definitely not the first time you’ve had Jungkook in your bed (or that you’ve been in his bed). It’s not the first time you’ve peeled his shirt off meticulously and licked your way down his chest, to unbutton his tight pants. It’s not the first time he’s seen you on your knees on your bed (to alleviate the strain on your knees if you were on the floor).

By now, the shock of your impatience has worn off. Jungkook frequently reminds you to slow down, that you both have nowhere to be except with each other.

It looks like his pants are glued to his legs, and while you can appreciate the visual, you want to appreciate the real thing. You groan in frustration and Jungkook does the work for you, pushing the offending fabric away and breathing a sigh of relief. You crawl closer to him, nails featherlight against his taut thighs.

He’s golden, his body taut and spilling with swirls of color in the divots of his muscles. Your mouth waters.

But Jungkook moves your hands away when you start inching closer, wanting to palm his cock. He joins you on the bed, pushing your back to the bed and hiking the skirt of your dress up to your hips. His hands are tight and warm and welcome on your hips, a flare of desire shooting down your spine and straight to your pussy. You buck your hips up towards him with a pout but he only squeezes.

“What did I tell you,” Jungkook murmurs, swatting your thigh lightly.

“You’ll have to remind me,” You breathe.

“Told you to slow down, baby,” Jungkook says, letting his fingers trail up your thighs and slip under your panties. His hand is warm in contrast to the rings on his fingers. They do little to cool your skin, though. “Impatient girl.”

“You say that like a bad thing-”

“And you talk so fucking much,” Jungkook drawls, hovering over you and dropping his weight on top of you, nudging your cheek to kiss you. You reach upwards to thread your hands through his hair but he’s quick, so much quicker than you. Jungkook pins your wrists with just one hand, and the mere action, the mere display of strength has you sighing and your pussy fluttering.

“Lift your hips,” Jungkook says thickly, and you do so immediately. It’s easy for him to pull your black lace panties off to the side. But before he does so he gives you a small smile of approval, knowing that you wore them specifically for him to see.

“I really do love this dress, baby,” He says, “Makes your tits and your ass look amazing.”

“Take it off, then. And see the goods up close,” You say, wiggling against his grip.

“I will,” Jungkook says lazily, “Don’t you worry your pretty head about it.” Without a single warning, he lifts you up easily into his lap. Your bare pussy brushes against his bare cock deliciously, your hips moving of their own accord. He stills you again, and carefully unzips your dress and pulls it off of you. His fingers on you are soft but firm, leaving your head spinning and hazy.

You haven’t even had his cock yet, and you’re about ready to combust. Jungkook pushes you on the bed, your tits bouncing with the force of your back hitting the mattress and hovers over you. You pull at his hair a little impatiently and he groans, the sound reverberating across the walls only to ring in your head. You want to hear it again, and again and again.

“Jungkook,” You whine, “Please, bunny, do something. Look at me, look at my pussy, come clean me up-”

“So needy,” Jungkook murmurs and ignores you in favor of kissing your tits, rubbing your nipples with his fingers, “‘M needy for you too, baby.”

“You’re so hard, so big,” You babble, “Please, want your cock, baby.”

Impatient. Jungkook kisses your chest, your belly, your hips and makes you cum on his tongue twice (while you tear up and cry a little bit, gripping his purple locks fiercely and holding onto his shoulder) before letting you stroke his cock. You’re about to push him on his back to blow him with determined eyes, but he stops you.

It appears he’s impatient too, and he wants to see you cream his cock before cumming all over your tits (which has become his favorite place to).

“Jungkook,” You breathe sharply, “There, baby, right there-” You cut yourself off with a groan, stilling your hips and pushing his face into your chest. Jungkook’s groans are muffled against your tits, but you feel the wetness of his lips and the warmth of his tongue over your nipples.

“Shit,” You mumble, “Feels so good-”

“So pretty, baby,” Jungkook coos, pulling away from your tits to look up at you with lust in his eyes, “I’m yours, all yours-”

You groan, bouncing on his cock even harder as a flare of possessiveness flashes across your belly. “Move back,” You say softly, “Lay down. I’m gonna ride you so good, baby.”

Jungkook barely has a chance to catch his breath before your nails are on his chest, trying to hold yourself steady as you push yourself down onto his cock, pulling a deep moan of your name from his lips. His hands are tight on your hips, watching with wide eyes- he doesn’t know where to look, what to do.

He squeezes when one of your hands drifts over his and rests on top of his hand.

“I’m yours, I’m yours,” Jungkook mumbles, “Whatever you want baby, I’m yours-”

“You talk so much,” You say hoarsely, with a wicked smile, “It’s cute.” Your free hand floats upward, resting loosely at the base of his neck. His chain is cold against his heated skin but all he can focus on is the glide of your hand over his neck.

His cock twitches inside you and your smile widens. “Is this okay?” You whisper, “This okay, bunny?”

“Harder,” Jungkook groans, “Fuck, harder, baby.”

“Like this?” You ask innocently, closing your hand around the sensitive spots of his neck. His pretty eyes flutter as he nods, a quiet moan slipping out into the air.

“You’re pretty like this,” You say softly, “Shit, you’re pretty like this…”

He lets out a choked laugh at that. You lean forward, pressing your lips to his hastily. Jungkook thrusts upward, hips meeting your ass but your hand doesn’t leave his neck. Not just yet. You breathe into his mouth, allowing him to swallow your soft whimpers.

You wet your lips with a loud smack and cradle his cheek gently. Jungkook is mesmerized by the heat in your eyes, smoldering and burning through his skin. You let your fingers glide over your clit, gathering wetness and before Jungkook can ask what you're doing-

“Open,” You mumble hoarsely, “Open, bunny.”

Pushing a finger past his chapped lips, you gasp at the sight of him below you with your fingers in his mouth.

You could cum just from watching him. His tongue swirls over your finger before sucking lightly with a pretty flush covering his cheeks. Your eyes widen, another gasp brushing over his cheeks.

“Fuck,” You mumble dreamily, “You’re so good, bunny.”

Your body is burning, jaw slack and the feeling of Jungkook’s bare cock inside of you almost too much to handle. It was wildly irresponsible- he wasn’t wearing a condom and you weren’t on birth control, and it was a conversation for later. But you can’t think, not when it feels this good, not when you’ve had a taste of his cock in this way. Besides, he always pulls out just in time. But still, you both should know better.

“Oh, Jungkook,” You whine, “‘m close, I’m so fucking close, make me cum, bunny-”

“Baby,” Jungkook rasps, “My pretty baby looks so good on my cock like this. My smart, kind, b-beautiful girl, my angel-”

Tears prick your eyes- it’s easy for you to become overwhelmed like this. You tug your hands away and thread your fingers through his, dipping your head for a kiss.

“You like that, angel? You like being mine?” Jungkook murmurs, slowing your hips so he can take over. But he knows you’re close.

“Only yours,” You mumble. Jungkook pulls you into his chest swiftly and flips you so that you’re on your back. He places your legs over his shoulders and brackets your head with his forearms, his necklace just above your nose and his hair tickling your face. But you're mesmerized by the determination and adoration in his eyes.

“Jungkook,” You murmur brokenly, “O-oh, y-yeah, baby, there, mmmf-” You squeeze his biceps with a gasp, watching his face closely. Pushing his hair behind his ears, you cradle his cheek and pull him down for a sweet, long kiss.

His fingers dance across your thighs and rub your clit in slow circles and murmuring soft words of praise in your ear. You’re vaguely aware that your body erupts in a tidal wave of flames, warming you from inside out. You don’t hear anything except for your cries of his name, you don’t see anything but him through your blurry eyes.

“Baby,” Jungkook says through clenched teeth, “O-open your mouth, baby. Fuck, baby, this pussy- I’m gonna cum, baby, fuck-”

You open your mouth with hooded eyes and your tongue lolling out and Jungkook pulls out of you abruptly with a series of curses. He’s not fast enough to get all of his cum in your mouth, some of it landing on your cheek. You swallow his cum with a dopey smile and open your arms for him to bury his face in your tits.

“Fuck, baby,” Jungkook says breathlessly, rolling off of you and pulling you into his side, “This pussy’s gonna be the death of me. Where’d you learn to ride dick like that, huh?”

“I’ll never tell,” You mumble, “Gimme a kiss.”

And so he does, tasting himself on your lips. He kisses you nice and slow, just how you both like after a night like this. Eventually he cleans you up and you do the same for him.

Under the covers with only the shared warmth between your sheets to keep you company, you rest your head on Jungkook’s bicep and look up at him. Your fingers continue tracing patterns on his chest, tracing the swirls and curves of ink as they appear.

Jungkook dips his head to nudge your nose and you softly laugh as his hair falls into your face. “What are you thinking about, baby?” He murmurs, lazily draping an arm over you. By now, you’ve realized that Jungkook is possibly the most vulnerable with you in moments like this. When you’re both bare and basking in a post-sex haze.

That’s not to say that he’s not vulnerable at other times. But it’s just different like this.

You take his hand and thread your fingers through his. His fingers are bare, as you had taken his rings off and they’re currently sitting in your jewelry dish on your dresser.

“We just,” You murmur, “We spent so long being apart. When we should’ve been together. All because I…”

“Stop,” Jungkook says firmly but gently, “Don’t do that. You’re where you’re supposed to be. We’re where we’re supposed to be.”

“But we wasted so much time not being together because of me,” You mumble forlornly, feeling your throat getting a little dry, “Because I listened to Sora and didn’t-”

“Oh, baby,” Jungkook says, pulling you in for a hug and a forehead kiss, “That’s not true at all. We’re together now, and we both had some growing to do. That’s what matters.”

“Okay,” You reply in a strained voice. You don’t quite sound like you believe him, and Jungkook makes a mental note of that. “Do you feel like… we have lost time to make up for?”

“Do you feel like that?” Jungkook counters, making your heart skip a beat, “Because I don’t. I know it’s hard, baby, but you can’t beat yourself up for that. It’s in the past, baby. Forgive yourself. There’s nothing to race against, it’s just me and you.”

“I’ll try,” You say a little meekly. Jungkook nods and pulls you in for a soft kiss, one that has your toes curling and your belly flipping. He shifts so that you’re tucked into his side, surrounded by him and his hands on your skin. He kisses you until your previous thoughts don’t feel so loud in your head, he whispers to you and pulls sweet laughs from your throat until you can detach from the strange cloud that had suddenly appeared.

He’s your safe place.

*********

MoM TAGS: @tiemeuptogoldenchains @boymeetsparadise @jungkooksseuphoria @kaepjjangiya @drumsofheaven @ppeachyttae @tae-bebe @yiyi4657 @mygscafe @beeeetsandskzreads @maichiverse @hordanhearsawhooo @anonymous2505 @dreadity @mysugarkoo @ULTRAANONYMOUSEY @moonchild1 @fan-ati--c

TAGS: @kookdbean @codeinebelle

[nastybuckybarnes]

Deep End  -  Five

Pairing: Dark!Steve Rogers X Reader

Summary: He’s back. After all your best efforts at getting away, he’s found you again. And this time, he’s not letting you go so easily. He’s determined to do whatever it takes to get you to be his. Forever.

Warnings: Dark Themes, Language, Angst, Manipulation, Injuries, 

Word Count: 3.2K

A/n: here we are, folks. What if I ended it like this lol that would be kinda gangsta of me LMAO

Deep End Masterlist

THIS IS A DARK FIC WITH SEXUAL AND TRIGGERING CONTENT!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!! 18+ ONLY!!!

~*~

You push open the front door with a heavy sigh, setting the paper grocery bags down on the counter then resting a hand on your growing belly.

There’s a tiny flutter under your hand and you can’t help yourself from smiling.

The smile vanishes, however, when a hand grabs at your shoulder and forces you to turn around.

“Where the Hell were you?” Steve’s angry voice demands.

You look up at him in shock and confusion, looking over at the groceries.

“I-I just went to the store.”

He shakes his head, grabbing your face with one hand and stepping closer. You take a step back with each one he takes towards you, and soon enough he’s got you pinned against the wall.

His grip on your face tightens and you wince, fear overwhelming your body, making your heart race.

“Bucky said he saw you talking to someone. A man. Who was he?”

You shake your head, tears welling up in your eyes.

“H-He was just asking me about my pregnancy. When I'm due, if I know what I’m having.”

It’s nothing but the truth.

“I give you freedom and this is what you do? You go and flirt with other guys? You’re my property. Don’t forget that.”

Your tears fall down your cheeks and into his hand, but he doesn't let go. Even as your chest heaves and sobs bubble out of you, he stays glaring at you.

“Please, Steve, stop. Y-You’re hurting me!”

His jaw flexes and he slowly lets go, only to cage you against the wall, slamming his fist against it in the process.  

Your heart hammers in your chest, terror gripping you and freezing you in place as you remember what he did to Nat and her baby.

“I-I came home, didn’t I? I could’ve asked for help! Could’ve said something, but I didn’t. I’m here, again, even though I could’ve run away. I’m here. You have me! You have me.”

You slide down the wall, knees drawn up to your chest as you sob, the reality of your words and the fear doing a number on your emotions.

Steve’s anger slowly melts away, replaced with concern as he sees nothing but terror on your face.

“I-I didn’t mean to yell, honey. It’s okay, shh, come here.”

You don’t fight him as he pulls you into his arms and brings you upstairs into your bedroom, sitting you gently on the bed and pushing your hair away from your face.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, sweetheart I just... You gotta understand how nervous it makes me when you leave the house like that.”

You sniffle then slowly look up at him, your eyes bloodshot and tear-filled.

“Then why give me the freedom to leave?”

Your voice cracks and it makes his heart hurt.

“I... I want to trust you. That’s why.”

You take a few deep breaths, your eyes focused on your trembling hands as your heart starts to slow back to its normal rhythm.

“Ever since that night when Nat and Buck came over you’ve... you’ve been off. I’m worried about you, honey. I just wanna make sure that everything’s okay.”

He wants to know what Nat told you. What she said to have you acting like this.

Your eyes meet his, wet and full of fear as you whisper three words.

“Is it true?”

He has an idea what you’re referring to, and his heart picks up speed.

“Did...did you do it?”

He swallows hard and avoids your eyes, but that’s answer enough.

Some strange mixture of a gasp and a sob bubbles out of you, and you bring your hands up to cover your face as your shoulders start shaking again.

“I didn’t... I guess I did.” You sniffle and look up at him through your tears.

“If you want me to trust you... if you ever want any hope at having some semblance of normalcy, you’re gonna need to elaborate. I’m trying to play your little game but I just... I’m scared you’re gonna kill my baby too. That you’re gonna hurt Sarah.”

He shakes his head immediately, grabbing your hands and holding them softly in his.

“I would never hurt Sarah, or our new baby, okay? Natasha... she was becoming a liability. That being said, I didn’t go into it with the intention of hurting her baby but... I knew it could be a consequence.”

You wait for him to continue, your heart pounding loudly in your ears.

“When you burned the book... that wasn’t the only copy. Fury made sure there was at least one more, in case we ever needed it. Had his own group working on it, creating a new version of it. Natasha became a test subject long before I met you. Before I... took you.”

He drops his eyes and huffs out a sigh.

“We didn’t need to wipe her memory, we just... needed a way to make her more complacent. To make her realize that she can’t go off on her own and keep secrets like that. Especially when they involve you.”

Your chest heaves as you glare at him, your anger growing by the second.

“Did you kill her baby?”

The words are harsh like the crack of a whip, and he has to stop himself from flinching.

“It wasn’t my intention... but it was worth it.”

You choke on another sob, yanking your hands out of his grip.

“I didn’t know what the tea would do to her baby. It was just a mild sedative so we could get her to the facility and do the procedure. Get her to tell us where you were, where Sarah was. But then she... she started bleeding. I didn’t... I thought maybe it was just a side effect but then the doctors told us... (Y/n), you’ve gotta believe me. You need to know that I didn’t mean to...” he trails off and shakes his head, thinking about the niece or nephew that he could’ve had.

The son or daughter that he stripped Bucky of. The pain he inflicted upon Natasha. But he has you, so in the end, it was worth it.

You slowly look up at him, shaking your head.

“Why? You’ve done nothing but lie to me and hurt me. Why should I believe a word you’re saying?”

He swallows hard, reaching for your hand again only for you to yank it away once more.

“You want the truth? Fine. You’re not the first person that we’ve... taken. And I doubt you’ll be the last. Bucky... he had someone. Someone to help him control the soldier. But she turned out to be worse than him. We had to terminate her because she became a liability.”

He looks down at his hands, remembering how innocent she seemed. And then she snapped. Tried killing Nat and Bucky. Turned the redhead against them until Fury stepped in.

“Nat didn’t... agree with what we did. So we changed her mind.”

Your brows draw together in confusion.

He can’t mean... can he?

As if sensing your confusion, he elaborates.

“We didn’t do exactly the same procedure. But it... its function was the same. We needed her to forget certain things. To be our friend again while still remembering other things about the situation. And it worked. All I wanted to do this time was open her up to us again. Tell me where you and Sarah were. I never meant to hurt her baby.”

You shake your head furiously, tears dripping down your cheeks. “You’re a murderer. A disgusting monster. I hate you.” Your words are venomous and acidic, and Steve almost flinches at them, shaking his head.

“That’s not true, (Y/n). I love you.”

You laugh, the sound manic and for a moment Steve’s concerned.

“This isn’t love, Steve, this is obsession! It’s unhealthy! You’ve got me trapped here against my will! Y-You’ve hurt me and raped me and now I’m supposed to pretend everything’s okay? I’m supposed to play the good little housewife while you go around kidnapping and killing women? Killing other people’s children?! No!”

You stand up and try to move past him but he grabs hold of your forearm, rising to his feet with you.

“You’re not going anywhere.” His eyes are fiery as he glares at you, but you’re not nearly as afraid as you once were. No. You’re just angry.

You glare at him, rage burning through your body as you yank free from his grip and walk out of the room.

“You leave this house and I won’t hesitate to drag your ass right back!” He shouts.

But you don’t plan on leaving.

Oh no.

Why does he deserve his happy ending so much more than everyone else?

You turn to face him once you reach the top of the stairs, your heart in your throat at what you’re about to do. The damage it could cause.

At least it’ll get your point across.

“Why do you deserve a baby so much more than Natasha?” He furrows his brows, trying to figure out what your next move is going to be.

“I’ve given my life over and over for this stupid pathetic world. I’ve sacrificed my happiness time and time again. Do I not deserve something good?”

You take a deep breath and shrug.

“Maybe you do. But not like this.”

With that, you turn around and let yourself fall down the stairs.

Steve tries to grab you, he really does, but he’s just not fast enough.

He watches you fall, tumble down the stairs then lay still at the bottom, and for a moment all he can do is stare.

Memories fill his mind. Of you falling down the stairs. Then bleeding. So much blood. And your baby... gone.

He nearly falls down the stairs himself in his haste to get to you, two fingers pressing first to your pulse, then his hand is pressed against your belly, trying desperately to feel for the fluttering kicks you told him about.

It takes a minute, maybe two, and then he feels a small press against his hand.

He lets out a breath of relief then grabs his phone, calling the doctor.

~*~

When the doctor assures him that both you and the baby are okay, he’s relieved. But that only lasts for a moment before anger takes hold, powerful and persistent.

You can feel the anger rolling off of him when you wake up, and for a moment you’re afraid.

But hopefully, you got your point across.

He doesn’t deserve another baby. Not if that’s what he wants. He’s a terrible human being. And bringing a baby into the world with him as the father should be a crime.

“Where’s Sarah?” You ask, hoping to keep him as calm as possible.

“She’s having a sleepover with Morgan over at Tony and Pepper’s.”

You nod, your stomach dropping as you realize you’re alone in the house with him and he’s beyond pissed off.

Your mind races back to all the times he’s punished you in the past, and you almost throw up with the anxiety coursing through your veins.

“You ever do anything like that again and I swear I’ll make you regret it. I won’t kill you, no. My baby needs his mommy, but I’ll make you hurt. You’re lucky I’m not doing anything to you now.”

You swallow hard and look away from him in disgust, only for him to grab your jaw and force you to look at him.

“You need to stop acting out like this. I told you what happened to the last asset who became a liability. Fury shot her point-blank. A clean shot between her pretty eyes. Then he left her to bleed out on the bedroom floor while he fixed Nat’s memory. S’why she’s even still here and with Bucky. If she remembered what he did to that poor girl... she’d have killed him herself by now. But he needs to outlet to keep the soldier at bay. And he deserves her. Deserves some happiness in his fucked up life.”

You shake your head, disagreeing strongly with every word he’s spoken.

They're monsters. Natasha less so. A victim, like you, maybe. But the two soldiers? Monsters. Monsters who don’t deserve any happiness. They deserve nothing but a slow painful death and an eternity in the fiery pits of Hell.

“I told you, (Y/n), I didn’t mean to hurt her baby. If I’d wanted to, I’d be rubbing it in her face more. Showing off your pregnancy more. And if you think I’m gonna hurt our baby, you’re wrong. I would never hurt my babies. It kills me that you think I’d ever do something like that.”

“Can you blame me? You’ve already killed at least one baby.”

A muscle in his jaw ticks and you regret your words.

“You know what? I think you really need a reminder of your place, sweetheart. You’re mine. Maybe not my wife, yet, but soon enough. Until then, you need to know that you belong to me.”

His grip on your face is painful, but you don’t make a single sound.

No, he’s not going to win.

He doesn’t want to hurt the baby or cause unnecessary strain, so he can’t have you on your stomach like he usually would.

So he makes the most of you lying on your back.

He grabs your wrists and binds them above your head, hooking them to the ring on the headboard despite your struggles.

“Steve, no! Please! I-I... Don’t hurt me, please!”

He cocks his head to the side, watching you wriggle and strain.

“You’re mine, (Y/n). You belong to me. There’s no one in this entire world who’ll help you. You’re my property. It’s time you realized that.”

A sick smile spreads across his face as he remembers what made you obedient last time.

“You know, I think I know exactly what you need.”

He climbs off the bed and drops to his knees, rooting under it until he finds his special black box.

You wriggle away furiously, trying to break free before he can hurt you, but deep down you know it’s all for not.

You squeeze your eyes shut as he sits back down on the bed, worming his way between your thighs and flipping your dress up over your extended stomach.

“Please don't,” you whimper uselessly.

He strokes your inner thighs gently, then leans down to spit on your centre.

You flinch away, tears leaking from your eyes as you realize what he’s going to do.

“Please don’t,” you repeat, only to be silenced by him pushing something far too big inside of you.

You cry out, your back arching and sending shoots of pain up to your scalp. The added weight of your baby makes everything ten times more painful, and you can't stop yourself from sobbing as he forces every last inch of the thick dildo into your unprepared cunt.

It burns. Fire spreads from between your legs up your spine and the tears don’t stop.

“Stop! Please! I’ll be good!” He knows you won’t. Or, he just doesn't believe you. You want the pain to stop but you’re not actually willing to change your behaviour for it. Not yet. But you will.

When the dildo is finally fully inside you, he climbs off the bed and shoves the box back underneath it. He adjusts his pants then walks to the door, pausing to look at your trembling figure on the bed.

Your shoulders shake with sobs, and he feels pride swell inside of him.

Good. Now you’ll finally learn.

“You’re gonna stay here until you learn your place. I don’t care how long it takes. When you’re ready to apologize and be a good girl, then we’ll talk. But until then...” He shuts off the light and pulls the door closed behind him, leaving you alone, in pain, and in the dark.

Memories of the last time this happened stab at your brain, and you quickly start hyperventilating.

What’s worse than that, though, is the tiny voice in your head telling you to get off your back. That it’s not good for the baby if you stay like this.

But no matter how much you scream or cry for him, Steve doesn’t come to the door once.

~*~

He leaves you there for hours, or maybe days. It’s so hard to tell.

The room is soundproof, so no one can hear your cries and you can’t hear anything outside.

Even if people could hear you, it doesn’t really matter now.

You’ve been on your back for so long that you’re starting to get dizzy.

During your first pregnancy, you learned only that it’s bad for the baby to sleep on your back. You didn’t think you’d be feeling the effects of it, too.

But here you are, covered in a thin sheen of sweat, mind spinning and lungs struggling to pull in enough air to satisfy you.

It must’ve been several hours ago that Steve left if you’re feeling such strong effects of it. You’re not sure what the technical term is, but you know that you probably don’t have much time left. Your baby has even less.

Your heart aches. Each beat makes sadness bloom in your soul and you can’t stop it.

New tears fall down your cheeks, and all you want is to reach down and caress your belly, apologize to the life growing inside of you.

Apologize for hurting them, for who their father is. For the life you’re bringing them into.

Nobody deserves that.

But now... now you might not have to worry.

Every passing second sends the walls around you spinning faster and faster and faster until all you can do is let your eyes fall closed.

Sleeping will probably make it better anyway, right?

As the darkness creeps up, seeps into your limbs and chases the pain away, you pray.

You’ve never really prayed much before, but you do today.

You send a prayer to any and all Gods, the old ones and the new, and you ask for forgiveness.

You pray for the safety of your unborn child, and for that of Sarah.

A deep part of your brain knows that you may never open your eyes, and you want your daughter to know that you love her. That she means the world to you and you’ll do all that you can to protect her.

Thinking about Sarah brings a wave of strength seemingly out of nowhere, and for a moment you wonder if the Gods heard you. If this is them sending their aid.

You take a few deep breaths, building up as much strength as you can, and try your luck one last time.

“I’m sorry.”

Your voice isn’t nearly as loud as it should be, and the room is so thickly padded that there’s no way he can hear you.

Hopelessness floods your body and you fall into it.

Your sorrow distracts you from the darkness until it takes hold of you and pulls you down, away from the world of pain that you’ve been trapped in.

And you feel peace.

[lonely-lost-soul]

Where Loyalties Lie

(Technoblade X reader) 

Request 3: Can we get a little angsty fic or headcanon of Techno trying to get the reader to leave L’manberg?

Requested By: Anonymous

~~~

     “Tubbo please take a deep breath,” You followed him around the rubble as he paced restlessly. 

     “I’m president of a crater (Y/n)!” The boy pulled on his ears with a loud whine, “What am I gonna do. I can’t believe Wilbur blew it up-” He felt your hands touch his own and gently pull them away from his oversensitive goat ears. “What am I gonna do? I-I’m a kid…” You frowned, moving to cup his cheek with your hand. He nuzzled into it desperately, welcoming the comforting touch of someone who he considered family. 

     “You’re going to get through it because you’re strong.” You told him, “and so brave little ram.” He flushed pink letting out a whine of protest especially because he was still surrounded by most of his friends. 

You watch as Quackity walked over to the both of you and placed his hand on Tubbo’s shoulder squeezing it, “We’ll rebuild. We’ll be right behind you Tubbo.” He smiled at the kid and you couldn’t help but smile over at him. 

     “Thank you both. Truly.” 

There was one thing that had you were worried you may come to regret, and that was not taking Technoblade’s hand as he fled from the country. You were close almost touching it, he looked like he wanted to beg for you too but one desperate cry from Tubbo had you pulling away. He looked heartbroken but at the same time, you saw understanding in his deep red eyes. 

Family came first. 

That day he pulled you close pressing a soft kiss on your forehead, “I’ll be back for you.” 

You murmured a soft I’m sorry, turning to find Tubbo to make sure he wasn’t injured or dying. The thoughts of the festival replaying in your head, you couldn’t go through that...not again especially because now Tubbo was officially on his last life. Tommy couldn’t fathom how you didn’t blame Technoblade for what happened that day, but to you, two things were clear: one was that Tubbo didn’t blame him which made it easier on your end to forgive him; two Schlatt was manipulative and overwhelming as fuck you can’t blame someone for something they were peer pressured into doing. Speaking of Tommy you ended up finding Tubbo and him in the rubble that day, the taller male was pressing cloth to Tubbo’s bleeding arm desperately, when you took over and Tommy seemed grateful. 

However, you had to push your possible regrets aside and focus on the new nation you’d help build, and build it you did. You worked endlessly for months on end creating a lovely new nation for people to live in, Tubbo had dubbed it New L’manburg. You felt his pride and happiness, he just loved seeing everyone together again and happy once again. Finally, the server felt somewhat normal after all that destruction, even if there was a Techno-shaped hole in your heart. Things changed rather quickly when Tubbo was, in your eyes, manipulated to exile Tommy by Dream. You had tried to argue for the boy saying that not only was he Tubbo’s friend but just a kid. You were shut down harshly by not only Dream but Tubbo as well, the look in his eyes was filled with so much loathing and frustration. It’s the first time he ever snapped and was harsh to you, you felt your own frustration bubble up in your chest. You turned on your heel and marched back up into your house, you were not going to put up with this behavior. When you slammed the door shut, and turned around to find Technoblade standing in your living room,  with your cat purring fondly on his shoulders; you almost screamed.

     “Heh- why are you scared it’s just me?” The hybrid complained his nose scrunching up, “Don’t be cringe- oof-” Techno grunted as you threw your arms around his waist, the man flushed to the tips of his ears and looked away from you, Taffy hopped off his shoulders disgruntledly, “Yeah, yeah, I missed you too.” He pet the top of your head tenderly and you looked up at him with a smile. 

     “What’re you doing here Tech? If Tubbo finds out he’ll have your head.” 

     “Then I guess we’ll just have to make sure he doesn’t find me then huh?” He mused lips, quirking into a smile, and you nodded in agreement. “Other than that just running some errands. I’m in retirement now you know. I have to say that ‘New L’Manburg’ is certainly a name.” He did air quotes around the name and you nudged him, 

     “Be nice.”

     “Boo Cringe. I’m a Blood God starlight. I don’t do nice.” 

     “Bullshit,” You punched him in the arm, “Tea?” 

     “Please.” He cracked a smile as you walked over to your tea kettle heating the water and grabbing some tea bags. 

     “So, you came here to run some errands huh? I almost thought you missed me?” Technoblade shuffled a little behind you, how could you read him so perfectly? It was complete and utter bullshit. You heard him click his tongue distastefully behind you and you couldn’t help but smirk cheekily,

     “Get off my back woman.” He stated gruffly as you laughed, “but I guess I do miss you a little bit.” You smiled fondly and softly cooed at him and he let out another scoff, 

     “A little bit?”

     “What is this interrogation? You a cop now?” You placed his tea in front of him and he took a sip,

     “Yeah, we’re gonna need to do a strip search. Drop your pants.” Technoblade choked on his drink, face turning the darkest shade of red you’ve ever seen from him. You howled with laughter sliding down in your seat beside the man. 

     “I changed my mind. I didn’t miss you at all, you’re a terror.”

     “You love me, admit it.”

     “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” He murmured looking at you with a sudden softness that was out of character for him. You didn’t notice the change but it was there, oh if only you knew how much of what you said was true. He did love you. He ran his tongue across his teeth and reached out to interlock your hands within his own. 

     “Come live with me.” 

     “Tech…”

     “I’m in retirement now. I’m going to get some turtles hopefully, maybe some other pets while I’m at it. There’s a lot of room...It gets lonely all alone you know. It’d be nice to have you there with me.” He watched hesitance flicker across your face again just like the day Wilbur blew up L’Manburg. Your thoughts went to Tubbo and how much he needed you, especially now that Tommy was exiled. However, you were also brought back to a few moments ago where Tubbo snapped at you for trying to help. You took a ragged breath and pushed his hand away, he frowned sadly bringing his hand back down to his lap. 

     “I need to be here for Tubbo. He’s a kid Tech...way over his head. Dreams sniffing around him like a dog looking for his next victim to manipulate. I can’t let that happen, not to him. I know he’s President of this nation and you hate him for that, but he’s my brother and I love him. He’s a tough kid with a lot of fire, but I can’t just leave him in the dust. I love you,” You reached up and cupped his cheek and Technoblade felt his cheeks burn at the implication, “but I can’t leave until Tubbo is safe.” 

     “I’ll convince you one day.” Technoblade shot back even though his heart ached, that you wouldn’t be coming home with him. But Technoblade wasn’t known for giving up. He was stubborn as hell, he’d win you over yet. You’d come home with him, he’d confess to you and he’d make you the happiest person in the world. You just...didn’t know it yet. 

     “I’m excited for the day you do Tech.” You snickered softly, you both were startled by harsh knocking on the door.

     “That’s my cue. See you soon Starlight,” Technoblade hummed slipping right out the window, you watched him go longingly. You shuffled towards the door and opened it slowly, on the front steps stood Tubbo who was rocking nervously on his feet. 

     “Hi…” 

     “Hey LR...you okay?” Tilting your head to the side,

     “Is LR supposed to stand for little ram?”

     “Problem?”

     “No…I suppose not.” He murmured before clearing his throat and straightening his back, “I wanted to talk with you.” 

     “Oh?” You raised an eyebrow watching him nod his head sternly, you walked outside and closed the door behind you so you could lean on it. “Shoot,”

You watched as Tubbo swallowed thickly, “First off I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier. It wasn’t fair of me to snap.” He watched you nod a little urging him to continue, “however, I am the President now and you have to respect my authority.” Eyebrows furrowing together in frustration you opened your mouth to counter him but he held up his hand, “Dream has an idea of how to rule. He can steer me in a better direction-”

     “Pardon me?” You let out a disbelieving laugh, “A better direction? Tubbo, are you forgetting everything we all fought for, we fought him for independence. He killed us!” 

     “He might’ve changed!”

     “He exiled Tommy!” 

     “He deserved it!” Tubbo shouted back as your nose scrunched up, “He’ll steer me in a direction that you never could!” He snapped before realizing what he said, he slapped his hands over his mouth eyes widening to the size of saucers. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that-” 

     “Go home Tubbo.” 

     “(Y/n) please,” He reached out towards you and you held up your hand, 

     “Go reset the day. You need rest,” You frowned, turning back into the house “see you tomorrow.” Inside the house you shut the door on him and slid down onto the floor, you brought your hands to your mouth and swallowed thickly. A part of you wished Technoblade was still here just so he could tell you to get over yourself, he wasn’t skilled in the art of comforting others, but he could make you laugh. To keep yourself sane you reminded yourself that Tubbo was a child and needed you now more than ever, especially if he thought Dream was dishing out good advice. But you were hurt and a selfish part of you wished you could just go live in retirement with Technoblade and not worry about the new country forming, but you couldn’t ditch Tubbo. 

Running a hand through your hair you sighed loudly, one might wonder what exactly could Tubbo do to make you listen to Technoblade’s offer. Honestly, you had no idea if anything would make you do that unless of course they just started executing people or something ridiculous like that. 

Restless was how you’d describe the rest of your night, you tried to sleep but after a few hours of tossing and turning you gave up. You decided to make yourself a ‘healthy’ midnight snack, a small bowl of mac & cheese, you didn’t care, you were sad. You sighed softly scratching behind your cat’s ears, “It’s just you and me against the world Taffy isn’t it?” Her purrs rang in the air as she snuggled against your hand, distracting you just enough to swipe a noddle from your bowl. “You fat bitch!” You hissed as she ran off back up the stairs, you leaned back in your chair and sighed, literally nothing was going your way today. Just as you finished up your snack you heard a soft ping upon your window, turning to the sound you noticed your neighbor Phil awake in his house. He held up a hand and waved at you through it, and with a small smile, you waved back. He shuffled back into his home, I guess you both were insomniacs together, Techno knew how to pick a certain type of friend it seemed. 

You walked back up to your bedroom and slid under the covers once more, maybe you were wrong and things were going to get better. 

Months went by and nothing seemed to change much to your disappointment. Tubbo and you were still a little rocky, you had forgiven him for his harsh words but he always put Dream’s and even Quackity’s opinion before your own. When you came back from visiting Niki one day and saw wanted posters of Technoblade all around the country you almost had a stroke. You confronted Tubbo about it and only half answered you before running off when Quackity called him. That worried you, he normally didn’t like lying, especially not to you. 

The same day you were walking into the market to get some fresh fruit when a hand shot out from the wanted poster and pulled you behind it. You were held flush against someone’s chest who chuckled gruffly, you recognized that chuckle anywhere. “Techno! What’re you doing here?” You asked looking up at him with eyes filled with concern, “don’t you know you’re a wanted man?”

     “I think that just makes this all the more exciting.” Techno mused running his fingers through your hair, “Plus it’s not like anyone here can catch me.” 

     “Wrong I could catch you.” He dared to laugh in your face, 

     “Sure you could, and I’m half sheep.” Technoblade mused and he watched you huff cutely, “Don’t get all huffy at me you know I’m right.” You only waved him off, “seriously though I’m here to do some trading with Phil.”

     “Oh…” You gave a nod, “Will I see you more frequently then?”

     “You could see me all the time if you moved in with me.” Techno joked again and was surprised to see your face fall a little. Are you serious? Was he getting you to crack? “Starlight?” 

     “Ask me again in a few months and I might say yes,” You teased brushing the question off swiftly, Technoblade didn’t pry but he could tell you were almost convinced. Just what was going on in this country to make you want to leave your little brother? “Now shoo, go see Phil before he gives up on you.” You gave him a little shove and he stumbled off with a huff sticking his tongue out at you in the process. 

After that encounter, you didn’t run into Technoblade for another very long stretch of time. About a month or so after that encounter, Tubbo had shown up at your doorstep a complete nervous wreck. He begged you to help him, claiming he needed diamonds for an upcoming project and wanted you to acquire them for him. “Tubbo I don’t understand why I need to go on this trip? I have diamonds I can just give you. You know I don’t care.” 

     “But I feel bad about it,” Tubbo argued with you “please just do this for me.”

     “You know I’ll do anything for you. If you want me to get them this way I’ll do it. I should be back tonight is that okay? Do you need them sooner?” Tubbo looked relieved as he took your hands in his own, 

     “No tonight is perfect!” The boy chirped sounding more like himself than he has in months, you couldn’t help but smile. You ruffled his hair a little before kissing his forehead, 

     “Then tonight you shall have them, Little Ram.” 

Tubbo helped you gather the materials you needed for a trip down into the mines, Tubbo even gave you some fire resistance potions. You thanked him for the potions before putting on your armor and heading down into the tunnels. As you were down in the mine the concept of time was always an illusion, so when you finally found diamonds for Tubbo and you left the cave you were surprised to see the sun was just setting. You hummed softly to yourself walking back into New L’manburg excited to show off to Tubbo you couldn’t help but wonder what he needed them for in the first place. However, when you entered town you were greeted by a gathering going on at the center. Everyone seemed to be there clad in what looked to be butcher’s outfits, your vibe was immediately thrown off eyebrows furrowing in concern. Quackity was giving some sort of speech and that finally drew your eyes towards the podium, locked inside a cage was a fuming Technoblade. You rushed towards the group, pushing past Ghostbur and a blue sheep, and grabbed tightly onto Tubbo’s arm. 

     “Tubbo what the fuck is happening?” He tensed turning towards your face. It was no secret that you and Techno were friends, this wasn’t good at all.

     “(Y/n)! You’re back early!” He spoke nervously rubbing his hands together as Quackity turned towards you, 

     “Welcome back!” Quackity hopped off the podium with a smirk, “Fundy grab them.” 

     “Quackity hey wait a minute-” Tubbo started as Fundy roughly grabbed onto your arms pinning you in place, 

     “Ow hey! Watch it! Let go of me!”

     “Get your hands off them!” Technoblade snarled nostrils flaring grabbing the bars of the cage tightly. 

     “Quackity you said we’d leave them out of this!” Tubbo argued and your jaw dropped staring at Tubbo, “You promised!” 

He waved Tubbo off with a scoff, “they’re just as bad as Phil, Tubbo. She needs to be punished. We can't play favorites when trying to run a country. We’ll execute Techno then deal with the other traitors.”

     “Execute?” You choked, “you can’t be serious! Tubbo you cannot be serious, since when are you okay with public executions?” He refused to look at you, his hair covering his eyes, he only nodded his head in Quackity’s direction. 

     “Do it.” 

     “Tubbo!” You shrieked watching Quackity grin maliciously, moving over to pull the lever that would allow the anvil to fall and crush the man below it. 

What happened next was a cluster fuck, someone began trying to set off TNT, and Quackity pulled the lever. It fell rapidly towards Techno and he pulled something out of his pocket, in a flash of bright colors and bursts of light Technoblade was ripped apart and pulled back together again. He was alive, Technoblade really doesn’t ever die. He hopped on top of the anvil and jumped the bars of the cage, Fundy had long since lost his grip on you, he noticed Dream ushering him inside a cavern and he paused a moment. The hybrid turned towards you holding out his hand one final time, the world seemed to stop a moment and it was just you and him. His face held a desperate look in it, almost pleading you to take his hand within your own. You flashed back to the day Wilbur blew the country up, Tubbo called your name you glanced over your shoulder once towards Little Ram. You reached into your bag and dropped the diamonds you found for him on the ground, you grabbed Technoblade’s hand and squeezed it tightly. Technoblade smiled and yanked you forward, leaving a heartbroken Tubbo in your wake.

[xo-cuteplosion-xo]

Hi, ik you said you request are closed, but you said that comfort request are always welcome. Ive be stressing out lately due to Scholl work and everything, I litterly on the verge of have a panic attack and was wondering if I could request, if you haven't already, write something for atsushi ❤️, dazai,chuyya, and akutagawa comforting ready with that? Plz feel free to ignore, I don't want ya to feel the same way I do😂 love ya!

Sorry about the wait on this piece. I’m only now getting school work up-to-date (After missing 5 days T_T) and getting free time to do things. I hope that isn't too late! Hope HC’s are alright!

Comfort for panic attacks |Atsushi, Dazai, Chuuya, Akutagawa x reader | HC

Atsushi- 

He’s familiar with what’s happening

His own memories sometimes lead him into a similar state, so he knows what to do.

He’ll try and bring you as close to him as possible.

He’ll likely snuggle your neck and let his breaths send shivers down your spine.

He’s a huge fan of counting your breaths with your eyes closed.

He gets you to join him in the mediation in hopes it works to calm you down.

If it doesn't, he’ll go in for distracting your senses from thinking.

Either kissing you lightly on the neck

Blowing air at your ear

Or tickling you.

When you're out of the panicked state, he’ll try to get you to open up.

If you do, he’ll make sure you know he’s very clearly paying attention.

After he runs off to make you a nice cup of tea/coffee

While you're drinking, he gets a warm bubble bath ready for you.

The rest of the day, and some days after, is all him taking care of you to relieve that stress and make sure you aren't overwhelmed. 

If you ask about work, he shakes his head and tells you he has everything under control and there won’t be a pile of missed work on your hands.

Dazai-

He knows exactly what to do

He knows what to do because he’s been in your shoes before, stressed, panicking, he knows the feeling even though he hides it well.

He’ll likely grab your hand in his and run his thumb over the back softly. 

He gets all serious, which may be a bit surprising

He whispers little things to hopefully help. “It’s alright” “I love you” “can you try and breathe slowly, mhm like that, in and out.” 

He’s really careful not to say anything that could imply he’s downplaying your feelings.

When you’re calm, he’ll likely kiss your cheek softly and smile for you.

Then he asks questions. “Is there something overwhelming?” he asks, but doesn't expect an actual answer.

He’ll try to accommodate whatever it is you want.

If that’s ranting about the stress you're under, then he’ll let you.

He’ll try to lift some of that stress for you, help you in any way he can.

Chuuya-

He freaks out internally for a few moments

When he collects himself, he sits next to you and does this weird half cuddle half-hug thing.

He has his arms around you, but his head on your shoulder, so he’s cuddling while also hugging you.

It’s a weird position, but it’s calming for the both of you.

He attempts to get you to do breathing exercises, or just starts talking about things you like, and interrupts that with something to make you laugh.

When he sees you’re relaxed, he keeps the relaxed atmosphere going.

He manages to get you laughing and smiling and forgetting the stress and whatever else was making you panic.

When the moment closes, he’ll ask you subtly. “Was there anything you wanted to talk about?” If you shrug it off, he doesn't press on. 

If you tell him work is stressful or there's just too much going on in your life to handle, he's already taking away work and offering a daily routine of cuddles and dedicating time every day for relaxation to help.

This man has got money, so he buys you whatever it is you need, including several spa trips.

Akutagawa-

He has no idea what’s going on or how to help

It takes maybe a bit too long to realize you're about to have /having a panic attack.

He’ll try to comfort you, but he’s not the best at it

He taps your shoulder and mumbles things at first.

He’s not really the affectionate type, but he can be.

He might lean his head on your shoulder and try to get you to copy how he’s breathing

He’ll talk to you about things that he hopes will take your mind off whatever is causing you the pain.

Afterward, he’ll demand to know what happened.

If you refuse to answer, he’ll sigh, but shrug and continue staying with you, his head on your shoulder.

If you tell him what’s bothering you, he does try to help.

In subtle ways, like stealing away your workload and handing it off to another, or taking you to eat out.

He’ll also make plans for you to have a day without work that won’t pile up because you took the day off 

| If you want to be tagged (@ ) when i post a new work, shoot me an ask/comment |

[joanquill]

Boundaries

During your visit to 221B Baker Street, you and Sherlock got into a fight which lead to you avoiding the man.

Sherlock Holmes

Tag/s: Established Relationship, Hurt? Angst? But with a Happy Ending Warning/s: Profanity

“Excuse me…” you trailed off, looking around as you make sure your treats were not damaged.

“(Y/N)! It’s nice to see you again!” Miss Hudson greeted you with a bear hug, making you smile as you returned it just as tightly.

“I was here just a couple of days ago, though,” you laughed, letting her go.

“Are Sherlock and John back yet?” you asked, looking around.

“No, not yet. Probably out running around the city again looking for an interesting murder case,” she sighed, making you chuckle.

“Then, how about we enjoy these as we wait for them?” you suggested, showing her the treats you brought with your visit.

Her face brightened as she headed off to the kitchen, pulling you by the hand.

“I’ll go make us some tea! You go sit over there!”

While Miss Hudson and you chatted, a loud bang from the entrance interrupted your conversation.

“Sherlock!” Miss Hudson scolded, but the great detective only grimaced as he headed off to his room.

John let out a tired sigh as he removed his coat and hat.

“Did something happen?” you asked as the sound of the violin started to play from upstairs.

“Sherlock thought that a handful of noble’s death was murder, but it really was just natural causes, and now,” John threw his hands up, “He’s all upset…”

Your brows furrowed in worry as you looked up to their room, wanting to help him but don’t know how.

“How about I try talking to him? Maybe that’ll help him clear his head,” you suggested, making both of their heads perk up.

“Will you, (Y/N)? He listens to you more than to us,” John added hopefully.

“I highly doubt that, but I’ll do my best.” you nervously chuckled as you waved your hand.

You quickly headed back to the kitchen and grabbed a box of treats, marching up to their room.

You gently knocked on the door, but the violin kept playing.

You took a deep breath as you slowly walked inside, seeing Sherlock playing by the window.

“Sherlock?” you calmly called out, but he didn’t hear you.

You frowned at this but shook it off, placing the treats by the table.

You let out a sigh as you saw the files and papers scattered on the floor, deciding to clean them up as you waited for Sherlock to calm down.

“What are you doing here?” he accusingly asked as he stopped playing, making you look over to him.

“I was just visiting and-”

“-Didn’t you just come here the other day?” he reminded with an annoyed tone, catching you off guard.

“W-Well, yeah… But I was just-”

“-What? So bored of your life that you come here practically every day?” he questioned, walking up to you as you backed away.

“No! I just wanted to see-”

“-See what!?” he exploded, pushing your patience to the limit as you frowned.

“To see you, Sherlock!” you shouted back, feeling the frustration bubble over you.

“You, John, and Miss Hudson!”

“What for!? We see each other almost every fucking day! It’s suffocating!  Can’t you tell that I just want to be alone!?” he screamed, making your throat close up as you stepped back.

“Sherlock, I’m your lover! Of course, I would want to see you every day! Don’t you!?”

“Of course not!” he answered, making your eyes widen as his words sank in.

“I have a life outside of you! God, why are you so fucking clingy!? Can’t you just leave me alone for one second?!”

‘Clingy…? That’s what he thinks of me?’  you thought as you felt your chest ached, making you ball your fists.

“…Okay,” you choked out a response, making him sigh and plop down on the couch.

“Just leave…” he grumbled, covering his eyes with his forearm.

“Right… Sorry…” you uttered as you walked out, closing the door as quietly as possible.

“(Y/N)? What happened?” Miss Hudson asked cautiously, slowly walking up to you as you walked down the stairs.

“Sherlock needs some alone time, that’s all,” you answered with a smile, making them ease up.

“And you’re…?” John trailed off, his brows knitted with worry.

“I’m fine,” you reassured, making the two sigh in relief.

“We’re really sorry about him…”

“That man… That  child, I should say…” Miss Hudson grumbled, making you laugh halfheartedly.

“I better head off, though.” you excused, putting it on your coat.

“I’ll be quite busy for the next few days, crunch time and all…” you apologetically smiled, trying to keep your façade.

“I’ll see you all in a few days,” you said your goodbyes as you walked out of the flat, Sherlock’s words still bouncing around my head the whole way.

You knew that he was just angry and frustrated, but maybe there was some truth in it.

You knew he was a bit iffy with relationship things, and maybe you were being too pushy.

'I should probably back up for a while…’

After his nap, Sherlock realized that he was a bit harsh to you and decided to apologize to you.

“Where are you going?” John asked, peeking out of his desk.

“(Y/N)’s. I better-”

“-Didn’t you hear? They’ll be busy,” Sherlock stopped at his tracks, looking at John.

“Oh…” Sherlock muttered, feeling twice as guilty.

“Why? Did something happen between you two?”

“Nothing,” Sherlock quickly denied, going back to the couch.

'They probably know I didn’t mean it…’  Sherlock reassured himself, knowing you knew him like the back of your hand and that he had those episodes.

For the whole week, you didn’t visit Baker Street.

'I wonder if this is enough..?’  you warily thought as you walked along the sidewalk.

'Hnngg… I don’t want to cause another fight…!’  you internally groaned as you continued to walk, making other pedestrians move away or look at you weirdly.

When you looked up, you were already facing apartment 221B’s front door.

'Crap…!’  you nervously thought as you quickly backed away, but someone opened the door.

“Huh? (Y/N)!” Miss Hudson exclaimed, making you freeze.

“H-Hey, Miss Hudson!” you nervously greeted, keeping your distance as she looked at you expectantly.

You both stood there awkwardly before Miss Hudson raised a brow.

“Well, what are you doing standing there? It’s cold outside!” she exclaimed as she walked up to you and grabbed your hand, pulling you inside with no effort.

“U-Um, actually… I…” you trailed off, trying to find an excuse, “I forgot the cake I was about to bring!” you blurted out, making Miss Hudson look at you curiously.

“I better go back home and bring it,” you excused, heading back to the door.

“You don’t need to do that,” Miss Hudson reassured as she held your hand, “Besides, the boys are coming home any minute now. You shouldn’t leave so soon,”

You tensed up as you pulled out your hand.

“N-No! It’s a special cake, actually! So I better get going-” as you opened the door, Sherlock was reaching for the doorknob with John right behind him.

'Great…’  you thought, keeping your eyes on the ground.

“(Y/N)! It’s been a while!” John happily greeted as he saw you.

Sherlock’s face lit up when he saw you, making John and Miss Hudson smile.

“Yeah…! It’s nice seeing you all too,” you greeted back, keeping your eyes down, “But I really have to get going, I-”

“-But you just got here,” Sherlock cut off, moving in front of you as if blocking the entrance.

“Why not stay for dinner? It’s been a while,” John added casually, making you grip on your coat.

“Right… Okay then,” you smiled, accepting defeat as the two men walked inside.

“I’ll go help Miss Hudson with dinner. I’m sure you two have some catching up to do,” John excused himself as he headed off downstairs.

You were about to call out to him, but he was already gone.

“So…” you started, feeling tense, “…How was work?” you asked, trying to make small talk as you sat down on the couch.

Sherlock let out a sigh as he sat on the armrest of the opposite end.

“Same as usual… Pretty boring, to be honest,” he admitted as he laid back, hoping his head would fall on your lap and you would play with his hair like always to destress him.

Unfortunately, you moved away at the last minute, surprising him.

He looked up at you, a little offended, while you only smiled at him politely.

'What the hell was that about?’  Sherlock thought as he went over to the possibilities of why you were acting like this.

Sherlock’s eyes widened in realization and softened, his heart sinking as he felt guilty over what he said the last time he saw you.

“Shit…” he cursed under his breath, catching you by surprise.

“Sherlock? Is something-”

“-You’re still on that?” he asked, voice soft and gentle.

Your eyes widened in shock as he sat up, sighing and scratching the back of his head.

“Look,” he started, “…I didn’t mean… what I said…” he muttered, putting his hand over yours, squeezing it lightly.

“This week was hell without you… Don’t go leaving like that ever again just because I was being a huge jerk, okay?” he mumbled, looking away from you.

You breathed out a smile as you pulled him in a hug, feeling him relax under your touch.

“John was right… You are pretty bad at apologies,” you joked, making him scoff as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his lap.

“So… will you please stop avoiding me now and stay for dinner?” he asked, making you lightly laugh.

“Of course…”

[yostresswritinggirl]

Part 2 is here!!! This is actually all just fluff and nothing new regarding reader's seelie powers but ;)) Part 3 coming soon...maybe...

-It has been a week or two since the interaction and the both of you have been exchanging letters, due to the fact that you live in Qingce Village.

-You only went to Liyue Harbor for a bit as you had a few commissions and quests nearby there, it would have been a long trip back and forth from home. (He's glad that he met you but won't admit it out loud.)

-Now what surprised you was that he came to visit you, not because he had a job nearby but purely of his own accord. You felt a flutter in your , upon seeing him at your door.

-"... Chongyun?"

-A flush from his cheeks as he shifted onto his other leg.

-"...Hello."

-Happiness bubbled throughout your body. With a bright smile you ushered him into your humble abode. He looked at the scripts and maps on your walls, then glanced over to the collection of pressed flowers beside your small dining table.

-You poured him a cup of tea and placed a bowl of food in front of him. Cold noodles with soy sauce and some fresh greens on the side.

-"I-I really couldn't--" he tried to turn down the offer of food but the smile you gave him made him pick up his chopsticks.

-Mid-coversation, another knock came at the door. Raising an eyebrow, you went to see who could be looking for you.

-"[Y/N], sorry to trouble you at the moment but could you please get these to Granny Rouxin? I have to rush for a meeting with some customers."

-You nodded and closed the door to sit back down with Chongyun as to continue the conversation, it would also be quite rude if you were to leave a guest in your house but-- Granny Rouxin :(

-Almost as if he read your mind, he finished eating and set the dishes by the sink. You were about to protest and ask him to sit down but he grabbed your hand and led you out the door.

-"Let's go give the chief that package."

-Your heart skipped a beat as you looked at your hands. Walking up the trail and stairs, you arrived at the chief's residence. She opened a door with a smile and greeted you.

-"Ah, [Y/N]. Good to see you, I suppose you're here for delivery?"

-"Yes, here you go! Please continue to rest, don't worry about the village, we'll be fine. If anything happens please get Ju Hua to send a letter to me."

-The kind elderly lady had been ill for a few days now and the entirety of the village had urged her to rest, considering her age and her position. She had been taking it easy and not moving about too much, hopefully her fever would subside soon.

-"Thank you, you're always such a help around here. I'm grateful that you continue to stay here even though it's a quiet life," she sighs.

-It really was a shame that many of age had went to the city, leaving yougins and elderlies here. As much as you liked the city, the calmness of this village and its beautiful fields had captured your heart.

-"Of course, it really isn't anything, I love living here anyway!"

-Chongyun silently took note of what was going on in the conversation, feeling a small sense of pride and joy when he heard that you had been helping around in the village from THE chief.

-Wrinkled eyes smile as they slowly trail to the cryo user beside you, the warm hues turn into mischievous ones as she looks at your joined hands.

-"Thank you... Hmm, you didn't tell me you had a boyfriend?

-Immediately, the both of you separated with red faces. A chuckle escapes her throat as she waved the both of you off before returning to her bedroom.

-A moment or two passed as you both walked down the path, cryo tickling your skin as Chongyun desperately tried to calm himself down.

-A few kids came up to you with flowers and they babbled something about thanking you for helping them get their dolls back from the bad monsters before giggling and running off.

-Icy hues observed the situation and once again, he was reminded of how great a person you were. He knew from your letters that you liked to help out around the village but he didn't know it was to the extent that kids would come give you flowers.

-Warmth blossoms in his chest as he watches you smile at the kids. The way the wind blew your hair and how you gently pat the heads of the children made him smile like a fool.

-As you both continued to talk in your home, you failed to notice how late it was getting until the sounds of crickets chirping started. You asked Chongyun where he was staying and he was about to say something but nothing came out.

-"Ah...This is bad. I forgot that I didn't book a place to stay here..." (Because there were no inns (((:)

-'Archons, I'm so stupid' was probably what he was thinking at that moment.

-You tried to think of an idea but only one came to mind. Your palms sweated as you insisted that he stay with you in your house for the night. He tried to refuse but you were more adamant of not letting him sleep outside in the dangerous wilderness at night.

-With a huff, he accepted.

-One problem: The only place that was comfortable enough for sleep, (ie not the wooden chairs) was your bed. It's not like it was a tiny bed, but it was still flustering to be sharing the same bed! Especially since you're not dating like that or anything...! Even so, deep down you trusted Chongyun to not do anything.

-Jueyun Chili is the shade of red on your faces as you both lied down on the bed, you slowly turned over to meet his icy orbs looking at you before they averted away from your eyes.

-He was certainly free air-conditioning at the rate he was trying to cool hinself down. A soft laugh left your lips as you said goodnight before turning to face your back toward him.

-His heart stopped beating at a hundred miles per hour as he noticed that you were alseep. He, too was growing tired and closed his eyes to drift off into dreamland.

-Little did both of you know, that both of you would be awoken to the reality of your limbs tangled and arms wrapped around each other.

-あのん

Part 1

Oh gawd my heart dropped thinking I lost the link to the first part of this, I swear I need to fix my shit uo

[shoutaaizawas]

↳ fluffvember → day seven ❝care❞

shinsou x reader

summary: shinsou has insomnia and you want to help word count: 1.3k

It all started with one comment. You had been cuddling with your boyfriend on the couch, curled up on his lap with your head resting on his chest as you watched TV.

“Sometimes I resent you for how easily you fall asleep,” Shinsou said. You lifted your head off his chest to look at him. You knew he wasn’t serious but it still made you feel bad. You knew how hard of a time he had when it came to sleeping.

“Baby-” You started but he cut you off.

“I’m just kidding, I don’t resent you.” He said, brushing your hair behind your ear. “But I do wish I could fall asleep like you, I think I’ve only gotten a few hours of sleep in the past couple of days.”

“’Toshi.” You scolded. “Why didn’t you tell me anything?”

You tended to be a heavy sleeper and you fell asleep quickly so it wasn’t surprising that you had not realized that your boyfriend had not been sleeping.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s not your problem.” He said.

“If it has to do with you, it is my problem. You’re my problem.” You said before pausing. “Okay, well that didn’t sound right but you’re always here for me when I need it, I want to be there for you.”

“Thank you, it does mean a lot.” He said, patting your head.

This is how you ended up on a mission to help your boyfriend get the best sleep he’s ever had. Or in the very least a solid amount of sleep. This required a shopping trip.

Chamomile tea, lavender essential oil, and bath salts were the basis of your plan but you had some ideas for extra help.

Once you were home you were just in time for dinner, which Shinsou had made. He was quite the cook and you preferred his cooking over most options.

“Hey, what did you get?” He asked. You had only told him that you were going shopping, no other details.

“It’s a surprise.” You told him helping him plate dinner.

“Okay…” He said. You knew he was curious but he wouldn’t push it.

Dinner went like normal, talking about whatever came to mind while they ate. Once they were done you stopped Shinsou before he could grab the dishes.

“Wait here a second.” You said.

You ran to the bathroom drawing a bath, you poured in some of the lavender body wash you got along with the bath salts. You returned to Shinsou.

“Okay, I started a bath for you.” You told him.

“A bath?” He questioned.

“Yeah, for you.” You told him. “Go.”

“What is this?” He asked.

“You’re going to sleep not just good but your gonna have amazing sleep. So get in that tub.” You told him.

“Whatever you say.” He said still looking a bit confused.

Once he was gone you were quick to throw the blanket you got today into the dryer, you had thrown it in the wash before you sat down for dinner, along with his bedclothes. After that, you washed the dishes and tidied up the kitchen. Then you went to the bedroom turning on the new light you got. It was one of those night lights that projected stars on the ceiling. You set up your speaker to play some relaxing quiet music before making the best in the most inviting way possible.

Before you went to the bathroom you turned the kettle on to boil some water for the tea. Once that was done you found Shinsou in the bath sitting there surrounded by bubbles.

“Enjoying yourself?” You asked.

“I think so. I’m not really a bath person but this is nice.” He said.

You sat down on the ground beside the tub.

“Let me wash your hair for you.” You said.

“Okay.” He said.

It was relaxing for you to wash his hair so you could only assume it was nice for him too. Lathering the soap you worked it into his purple locks of hair. His eyes drifted shut and his neck relaxed in your hands. Once you had rinsed out the conditioner he was so relaxed you felt bad stopping.

“I take it you enjoyed that?” You teased.

“Maybe a little bit.” He replied.

“Well, when your ready dry off, and I’ll grab you bedclothes for you.” You said patting him on the head before standing.

Grabbing the stuff out of the dryer you put the warm blanket on the bed and went to the bathroom to give him his bedclothes. After that, you went to the kitchen to finish making the chamomile tea. By the time you returned to your bedroom Shinsou was standing there looking around at everything you had ready.

“You really did all this?” He asked looking at the stars projected on the ceiling and the bed that currently had the covers pulled back with all of the pillows fluffed and the new fuzzy blanket laid across.

“Of course, I told you your gonna have an amazing night of sleep and I don’t do half-measures.” You said.

Shinsou looked at you, his eyes soft as he stepped towards you. He grabbed you by the hips pulling you close to him.

“I love you so much.” He said pressing a slow kiss against your lips.

“I love you too.” You returned. “Now, take this tea and get in bed.”

Shinsou laughed taking the warm mug of tea and doing as you said. Once you turned off all the lights and made sure the door was locked you joined him, climbing into bed.

You snuggled up next to Shinsou watching as he drank the tea. You hoped he would be able to fall asleep. You were determined to stay up until he was sound asleep. You promised yourself you wouldn’t pass out the second you cuddled together like you normally did.

Once he was done with the tea he put it aside before pulling the covers up.

“Here,” You said pulling him into your arms. “Put your head on my chest.”

Hopefully switching up from how you normally fell asleep would help you to keep from falling asleep quickly. Shinsou places his head on your chest, wrapping his arms around you. Your hands easily found his hair and you gently ran your fingers through it in hopes to get him to fall asleep.

“Good night, baby.” You said in hushed words. “Sleep well.”

“Thank you for this.” He said looking up at you. “Good night.”

Time passed and you were sure with his slow breaths that he was asleep.

“Hitoshi?” You whispered.

“Hmm?” He said opening his eyes to look at you.

“Oh, I thought you were asleep.” You said.

“It’s okay, you can go to sleep.” He said.

“No, not until you’re asleep.” You said.

Shinsou looked at you but knew better than to protest. You would do what you thought you needed to and he wouldn’t stop you. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t do what he could to make things work.

Silence took over the room again and his breathing slowed. You waited a little longer before calling his name out again. This time you received no reply. A big smile covered your face and you closed your eyes, ready to sleep now that your goal had been achieved.

Once your breathing slower Shinsou opened his eyes to make sure you were really asleep. You were so good to him, everything you did was so thoughtful. A part of him felt guilty for teasing you about falling asleep east. He didn’t resent you. Okay, maybe he was a little jealous.

Carefully he rolled over, pulling you onto his chest and wrapping his arms around you. His hand ran up and down your back as you moved a bit, nuzzling into his chest making small noises.

“I love you, you’re too good for me.” He said quietly.

At the end of the day even if he couldn’t fall asleep having you asleep on his chest was the next best thing. He appreciated your efforts and while he felt relaxed the best thing that helped him fall asleep was having your asleep on his chest.

taglist:  @shinaus @tsuki-akibara13 @kirishima-manliness @ct-5445

[mochiiwrites]

🍁✨Autumn Troupe Headcanons!✨🍁

Hooray for more uncensored swearing! Sorry, this took so long! It’s hard to think of things for the Autumn Troupe since I don’t know them super well!

🍁🧡Banri Settsu🧡🍁

Whenever it's time for practice, Banri begins by smacking the back of Juza's head! (Not super hard, but enough for it to piss him off)

Diluc main, that is all. Before he got Diluc he was an Amber main, and somehow was good. Still uses her every once in a while!

Slightly intimidated by languages sometimes, I dunno how to explain it, so hopefully the dialogue does!

“Banri, come here for a second.”

“Hell no, I’m in the middle of a match right now.”

“Banri.”

“Sit your ass down and wait, Chikage! I’m busy!”

"Halika dito! Huwag kang humintay na papatayin kita at iwanan kitang dumugo sa lansangan! Inumin ng mga aso ang iyong dugo at kukunin ng mga uwak ang iyong laman. Gusto mo yan?!" ("Come here! Don't wait for me to kill you and leave you bleeding in the street! Dogs will drink your blood and crows will take your flesh. Do you want that ?!" ) I'm unsure of the translation, since the filipino was from Irumaaaaa_saaaaamaaaaa's comment on my Ao3! I just put it into google translate

“Damn! Fine, fine, I’m comin! Chill out!”

His older sister gave him a leopard plushie when he was a kid, which is why he’s fucking obsessed with animal prints!

Plays drums and almost broke the coffee table because he “jammed too hard” on it!

Constantly messing up Taichi’s hair, or he’s drumming to songs on his head.

*boom boom bap boom boom bap*

“Buddy, you're a boy, make a big noise, playing in the street, gonna be a big man someday! You got mud on your face, you big disgrace! Kicking your can all over the place, singin'-”

“We will, we will rock you!”

“Haha! Hell yeah!”

🍁💜Juza Hyodo💜🍁

Likes carrying Muku or Kumon on his shoulders! Sometimes they still parade around!

“Are you sure about this, Ju-chan?”

“Yeah, you’re real light, y’know.”

“What the hell are you doing, Hyodo? Practice is soon.”

Chews on things a lot when he’s nervous! He always has gum or a lollipop to avoid chewing on his shirt, his nails and other inedible things!

Uses shorter Mankai members as an armrest, but only the ones who are okay with it! He’s polite like that.

On nights where he just can’t sleep, he’ll go on walks or drive around on his motorcycle!

Terrible with eye contact and looking like he’s paying attention. Sakyo has to snap his fingers at him to make sure he’s listening!

Y’know the awkward sibling hug from Gravity Falls, he and Kumon have done that...a lot. It’s not actually awkward though, they just liked the show!

“Awkward sibling hug?”

“...Awkward sibling hug.”

*embrace*

“...pat, pat.”

....

“Hyodos, what the hell?”

🍁💖Taichi Nanao💖🍁

Cried twice when he got his piercings, the first time was because he was very, very afraid, the second time was because he was so happy that he looked good with them!

Has Heelys! One time, he tried to 'heely' into the rehearsal room, but he immediately fell over!

Plays the ukulele! He wanted to play guitar because he saw someone serenading their partner with it at school! He borrowed Masumi's guitar but bar chords suck and his hands are kinda small, so he settled for the uke!

"Aghhh! How do you play that! That hurts my fingies!"

"I have bigger hands and more experience."

"But you're only like an inch taller than me!"

"Height doesn’t really have anything to do with this."

Has a Tiktok! He doesn't post often, it's more for looking at memes or sick outfits. (He does the dances though! He's pretty good at them but they're all in his drafts since he's not super confident in them!)

Y’know how kids crawl up the stairs really fast. He does that. Constantly. Kazunari joins in, sometimes. It pisses Sakyo off a lot, but he gave up on trying to get them to stop.

"Taicchan, what are you doing?"

"Kazu-kun! I got the zoomies!"

"Nice! Can I join ya?"

"For sure!"

*Rapid thumping up the stairs*

"Aren't you gonna stop them, Sakyo?"

"...If I had that ability, they would've stopped a long time ago. Those idiots don't listen."

He LOVES Sk8 The Infinity! Langa's his favourite character! He's also probably a Reki kinnie!

🍁💙Omi Fushimi💙🍁

(It's blue like his regular shirt and Tumblr doesn't have any other colours ;-;)

Despite being tone-deaf, he hums a lot when he cooks! No one seems to mind it!

Enjoys scrapbooking! He kind of prefers scrapbooks to albums, since scrapbooks have a more homemade vibe, you know?

Gives the best hugs, and tends to hold hands with the younger members when they cross the street!

Regularly has this conversation!

“Banri, have you eaten?”

“I dunno Omi, have YOU eaten?”

“...I have. But that's not what I’m concerned about.”

“...I had a granola bar like, an hour ago.”

“...I’m making you something.”

When he first joined the company, he took notes on what everyone liked and didn't like to eat, plus if they had allergies! He still has it, he just doesn't need to use it anymore!

I feel like something like this has happened once!

“Ah, Omi! Can you help me grab something?”

“Oh, sure. What do you need, Sakuya?”

“Homare asked me to get some of that tea, but I can’t rea-”

*lifts Sakuya like Simba*

“Ah! Omi, haha! What are you doing?”

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it! Do you want me to stop?”

“Oh, no, it’s fine! It’s kinda fun actually.”

🍁💛Sakyo Furuichi💛🍁

Absolutely blind without his glasses, like it’s really bad. He walked into a doorframe without his glasses. Thankfully, no one noticed (he thinks).

He has a bit of bubble-wrap in his a pocket all the time and sometimes he uses it as a threat! (Hopefully that made sense...)

“Settsu, move over.”

“I literally can’t! Your fat ass is taking too much space!”

*pop*

“Just scoot your lazy ass over.”

*pop*

“I can’t I already-”

*pop*

“...Alright, I get it! I’ll shut up! Jeez, how is that so threatening...”

“...Asshole.”

*pop*

“...Sorry.”

Definitely told Azami that Santa wasn’t real when he was like 6.

Sakoda got him a mug that said #1 Dad but he crossed it out and replaced ‘Dad’ with ‘Aniki’! Sakyo still drinks out of it, sometimes!

Azami also made him a friendship bracelet when he was a lot younger. Sakyo doesn’t wear it (because it doesn’t fit him anymore) but he still has it! He likes rubbing the beads between his fingers.

Good at trivia! Like, really good. He somewhat enjoys Trivia Murder Party. (I just watched a play through and skipped to a random question, I have no idea if it’s actually hard lol.)

“Which body of water connects the Mediterranean Sea to the Atlantic Ocean?”

“Wh- How are we supposed to know that?!”

*Sakyo answers ‘The Strait of Gibraltar’ and is the only one who answers correctly*

“Fuck, my thumb slipped.”

“That shouldn’t be allowed. Sakyo’s shitty and old, he shouldn’t be able to know and remember things.”

“Oi, brat. I’m not that old. You’re not the one who got the answer right.”

“You’re not the one who literally never learned this!”

🍁❤️Azami Izumida❤️🍁

Has smacked too many cans/cups out of Itaru and Tsuzuru’s hands!

“Wh-”

“Drink actual water. And jeez, go take a nap or something. Your skin is even worse than I thought it could get. Aren’t you supposed to be the responsible one in the Spring Troupe?”

“Ah... I guess, you are right. Thanks for looking out for me.”

“W-well! W-we can’t have you on stage looking like a raisin! S-so!”

Often criticizes Izumi’s eyeliner and ends up just doing it for her. N-not that he minds or anything!

Played Love Nikki at some point, I do not take that much criticism.

Because I think the troupe/play themes are canon, he definitely helped with Shake the Shape and wrote some of RESPAWN!

Always has extra hair ties on him, even though most of the others don’t really need them. Most of the time, the hair ties end up being used for...other purposes.

“Ready.”

“What?”

“Aim.”

“Azami, I swear to whatever god is listening, if you fire that elasti-”

“Fire.”

“...You shitty brat-”

“Oh shi-”

Part of the ‘wears nail polish’ squad! He hates stickers. (Most of the time they somehow fall off) His go-to is an alternating pattern of black and red.

[azucanela]

HOME PT. 1 | ZUKO

HOME MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: In which Zuko has a chance to go home.

WORD COUNT: 2.9k

WARNINGS: blood, weapons, fights, death threats

A/N: we love zuko in this house, also send stuff into my ask box im bored and need ideas to write kashdkfkjasdhlf 

When Zuko was banished, it seemed that Ozai was more upset that Y/N intended to go with him, than at the pain he had caused his son. She was a talented firebender, capable of defeating even Azula, his prodigal daughter, in an Agni Kai. Her tactics and strategies, despite her young age, proved effective time and time again. She had the makings of a great General for the Fire Nation Army, and Ozai saw it as a waste for her to search for someone who would likely never be found. Not when Y/N L/N had so much potential. 

Y/N just saw it as proof that Ozai never truly cared for his son. His recognition of the impossible task he had bestowed upon his own child.

At the end of the day, her loyalty lied with the prince, so she set sail alongside him and his Uncle, in search of an avatar that had been gone for a century. They had known each other since they were children, when Ozai had taken interest in her natural talent for firebending. She had been raised alongside Zuko and Azula, training with them. But as most knew, Azula had an affinity for inflicting pain to those around her in her free time, so when the time came for a sparring match between Y/N and Azula, the results were deadly.

Ozai decided Y/N would stick around a little longer when she managed to beat Azula that day.

Zuko had never been competitive, not like Azula was. Though he’d asked her for tips on how to improve, and she’d graciously assisted him. And so, a friendship blossomed in the fire of their youth. She became his sparring partner, and as they grew older, his right hand.

She never regretted stepping onto the boat with Zuko the first day of his banishment. But she was beginning to regret ever speaking with him in the first place. He had no goal other than finding the Avatar, it was his sole purpose at this point, even after nearly three years of searching. But there were moments in which she found him rather… peaceful. He was almost the same boy who Y/N had played tag with as a child all those years ago. And in these moments, when she caught a glimpse of the real Zuko, she couldn’t help the warmth that blossomed in her chest each time they had an actual conversation. 

One that wasn’t about his never ending quest to find the Avatar.

The conversations they had in the middle of the night, when sleep failed to reach them. The ones they never mentioned when the night was over. Because what happened in Zukos’ room at night, stayed there.

Y/N had only ever needed to knock once and Zuko was opening the door to his room on the ship. She gave him a tight lipped smile as she slipped inside, hoping no one noticed because they both knew what it would look like from an outside perspective. Not that she cared what others thought. What happened between her and Zuko was their business, though nothing ever really happened. He would try to make tea, they would dump the tea because of how bad it tasted, Y/N would remake the tea, and then they would talk.

Sometimes she wished it was more than that though. 

It was a foolish dream to have, she recognized that as she took the teapot before he could even make an attempt to boil the water. “You couldn’t sleep either?” She asked as she began to heat the water with her firebending, holding the pot above her free hand.

Zuko scoffed, sitting back on the mat he referred to as a bed, “no, I just knew you’d be awake.” 

Y/N frowned, “you should’ve gone to bed.” She places the tea leaves into the steaming pot, moving to sit with her legs crossed, across from him on the floor.

“And put the entire ship at risk?” Came his response, his brow raised. 

Y/N laughed lightly, “what are you talking about?” Her head tilts as she looks at him in confusion, grabbing the two solitary teacups on his desk. 

“Last time you were left unattended you nearly blew up our only means of transportation.” He deadpanned. 

She rolled her eyes, looking to him as she spoke, “that was one time-”

Zuko was smiling now, “remember the time you nearly killed that man with a cabbage cart because he-” 

“Okay! I get it, you can stop now.” Y/N exclaimed, cheeks warming as she recalled the event. She handed him his cup of tea, and for a moment she could even forget that the only reason that they were on the ship in the first place was to find the Avatar, for a moment she could forget that Zuko had changed 

His hand grazed hers as he took the cup, mumbling a small, “thank you,” before he took a sip. Looking out the small window of the ship, he realized he would never forget his banishment. His home. He quickly brought his attention back to Y/N, only to realize she was already looking at him. 

She brought herself closer to him on the floor, “what are you thinking about?” She recognized the look on his face, the nostalgia, the pain. 

If he was honest, he was now thinking about the small amount of space between them since she’d moved to be seated beside him on the mat. Though he responded, “home.” 

Y/N hummed in response, taking a sip of her tea, “you miss it?” She asked.

Zuko scoffed, “that’s a dumb question. Of course I miss it. Why wouldn’t I?” Y/N was tempted to tell him that he shouldn’t miss the home that cast him aside for thinking of the best interest of the people. The home that was ruled by the man who scarred him for life. The man he still seeked validation from. 

Instead she shrugged, placing her tea onto the floor of his room, “well I don’t.”

His head snaps up, eyes meeting hers, he looks to her incredulously, “what do you mean you don’t? We’ve been away for so long!” He exclaims, his temper beginning to show. It was rare for him to explode at her like he tended to with other crew members, Iroh had pointed it out to him, and though Zuko shut him down quickly, nobody could deny the accuracy of the statement. But they had grown up there, together. All of his happy memories, all of his dreams, his past and hopefully his future, were all there. Had that all meant nothing to her?

“The Fire Nation was never my home, Prince Zuko.”

He almost flinches when she uses his title. And she quickly changes the subject, though she can feel it lingering in his mind as they have their tea. 

She ended up falling asleep in his cabin after they talked for the rest of the night, awakening in the room she internally groaned, knowing what it would look like when she set foot outside of his room. Being on this ship for so long, she knew her fellow crewmates were looking for some gossip to spice up their lives a bit. Looking around, Y/N realized he wasn’t there. She brought a hand up to rub her temple she sighed when she sat up, deciding she’d go back to her room and get dressed before heading up to the deck.

They’d been coasting around Earth Kingdom waters that recently been put in Fire Nation control, and as she entered the deck of the ship, Y/N realized they had docked on one of the piers. The sea of people around the market made her wonder what the area could have to offer as she turned to look back on the deck, where Iroh had been seated with his Pai Sho board, along with several other crew members loitering in the area. “Good morning Iroh,” she said with a smile as she made her way towards him, “do you happen to know what we’ll be doing today?”

He smiled up at her, gesturing for her to take a seat as he responded, “well Prince Zuko was not very pleasant this morning, so perhaps something more violent.” He took the teapot on his side, “you should probably go look for him before my nephew does something unwise.” Iroh explained with a sigh, refilling his cup. 

Y/N gave him a tight lipped smile, suddenly grateful she hadn’t gotten comfortable and taken a seat when he’d offered it, “of course. He likely intends to do something irrational and stupid.” She cracked her knuckles, aggressively securing her dagger at her side as annoyance bubbled up inside her, “I’ll see you later Iroh.” 

She decided that if thugs hadn’t attacked him yet, she would, stepping off the ship and into the crowd. She slipped between the people with ease, making her way to some of the stands, shopkeepers yelling out deals as they tried to sell some of their products.

And then Y/N got distracted. It started out with a new dagger for her growing collection, then a new holster for said dagger which was now strapped to her leg along with the weapon. Would you look at that, with all this new stuff she was getting she’d definitely need a bag to carry it. Right? Right. Then it was some rare tea leaves for Iroh and new cookbook for the chef that lived on the ship, though it only served as a reminder that she was yet to eat. 

Making her way towards the part of the market that specialized in foods, the aroma filled her nose. Holding the strap of the bag tighter as she maneuvered through the busy market as she’d spotted a stand with a variety of foods. Y/N inhaled deeply, taking in the sweet smell as she reached the stand before picking out what she wanted to purchase. In the corner of her eye she saw cabbages and couldn’t help the smile that found its way onto her face. Bringing out her small pouch of money, she went to hand the shopkeeper some coins, but the old woman shook her head.

“The young man over there paid for your things already Miss.” She explained, “scary guy. Just shoved this bag of money at me and told me to keep the change while you were on the other end of the stand shopping.” Though she ended up pointing in the direction of this elusive ‘young man,’ Y/N already knew who it was as she turned around and saw Zuko brooding against a wall in one of the emptier parts of the market.

She sighed, “thank you ma’am. Have a nice day.”

The old woman nodded, and Y/N put the foods into her bag as well, grateful for the variety of pockets within it as she made her way to where Zuko stood. “She had cabbages. I’m shocked you didn’t attack her.” 

Y/N rolled her eyes, “where have you been all morning?” She pulled two of the bite-sized pastries she’d bought from the old woman, handing one to Zuko that he begrudgingly accepted as they began to walk down the empty street before taking a bite out of her pastry.

“Around.” Came Zuko’s response as he ate the small pastry. “I just wanted to browse the marketplace.” Y/N took another bite of her pastry as she listened, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. 

She scoffed, “Zuko, I swear.” They were entering a plaza, with a fountain in the center, “it’s my job to know where you are. I’m here to make sure you don’t die during your search for the Avatar, because I’m your right hand, remember?” She exclaimed, hoping he hadn’t noticed that she got side tracked in her search for him,

“You were my right hand. At home. Not that it was your home.” He corrected her pointedly. It was quickly becoming clear that her statement had bothered him, and he wasn’t going to let this go. 

She looked at him incredulously, throwing what was left of her pastry at his chest, causing him to roll his eyes and throw what was left of his own at her face, though she dodged it. Y/N raised her brows, taken aback by this statement and action. He continued to walk as she stopped, dead in her tracks, “oh, is that what this is about? Because if you wanna talk about that we can-” A deep exhale escaped her, followed by silence. 

Zuko’s brows furrowed, “what? Don’t wanna finish the sentence?” He asked as he turned around, only to find that she had a knife pressed to neck, and was surrounded by a group of men.

Of course it had been thugs.

One of them reached to the pouch on her side, yanking it from its place on her belt while the other looked up to Zuko, “you’re going to give us your money, or your little girlfriend is gonna die.” He threatened, pressing the knife harder onto her neck, drawing blood.

Inhaling sharply, Y/N managed to let a bitter laugh escape her despite the situation, “in case you didn’t notice, we had just been arguing. I doubt he has a problem with my death at this point.”

Zuko glared at her, “could you shut up for one minute?” He exclaimed.

“Oh, I think I’m about to be shut up permanently but okay Zuko.” She replied, a sarcastic smile on her face as he narrowed his eyes at her.

He quickly returned his attention to the thugs, who had exchanged looks due to the strangeness of the exchange they were witnessing. “Here’s what’s actually going to happen. You are going to let her go, and if you don’t, you’re going to die.” 

The man with a knife against her throat laughed, “and how are you gonna manage that?” He asked, his four companions moving forward to form a circle around Zuko, weapons in hand. “We’ve got the upper hand.”

“Well, I’m not going to kill you. My little girlfriend will. And,” Zuko paused, eyeing the men surrounding him as he cracked his neck, “you don’t have the upper hand. Not while I have Y/N.”

The man was about to speak when a dagger suddenly pierced his leg, causing him to yelp in pain, dropping the knife he’d held into Y/N’s free hand. She threw the blade in Zuko’s direction and he caught it with ease as he dodged one of the men that lunged at him. 

Y/N kicked her captor’s injured leg, causing him to fall to the ground and allowing her to slip her bag off of her shoulder, wrapping the strap around his neck as she rammed the hilt of the dagger onto his head, effectively knocking him unconscious. Turning around to assist Zuko, she had a deadly realization.

One of the men was missing. 

Everything happened rather quickly after that, she extended her hand, preparing to begin firebending at the man that was attempting to sneak up behind Zuko, except no fire came out. Instead, a whip of water extended from the fountain, slamming him into a nearby building. 

The other three men exchanged looks, stopping their movements momentarily, then taking a few steps back before breaking into a sprint in the opposite direction.

Y/N was still staring at her hand in shock, though her eyes soon rose to find Zuko staring at her as well, the look in his eyes unreadable. A shaky breath escaped her, “guess that conclude your search.” She swallowed nervously, squeezing her eyes shut as she continued, “you can go back home now.” 

“We should get back to the ship.” Came his response. “You need medical attention.” Moving towards her, she took a step back.

“Zuko-”

“You aren’t the Avatar, Y/N.” He stated firmly.

“Really?” She exclaimed, disbelief clear in her voice, “because it sure does look like I am. No one else is capable of bending more than one element!” She pointed out. 

Zuko shook his head, “the Avatar is an Airbender. You were born and raised in the Fire Nation.” He rationalized. “It’s not possible for you to be the Avatar, even if the Airbender is dead, the next Avatar would be from one of the Water Tribes.” Zuko opened his mouth to continue speaking but Y/N cut him off.

“Zuko.” Her voice came out as a whisper. “What are you doing?” 

In that moment he is silent, and she wonders if he’s reconsidering his choice. In actuality, a million thoughts are running through his mind, maybe he could fake her death? Tell them that she died in this town, let her live out her life in peace while he continued a false search for the Avatar. Maybe this was a fluke, or there was a Waterbender hiding in the shadows that saved their lives. Or maybe he was in denial.

The only thing he was sure about was that Y/N wasn’t going back to the Fire Nation a prisoner. 

“Protecting the only home I have left.” 

Because sometimes home isn’t a place. It’s a person. 

You can imagine their shock when they discovered the last Airbender.

a/n: are there two avatars? maybe. is the reader a dual bender? maybe. will we ever find out? idk