#going to get some coffee and then figure out how to tackle writing!
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devourcr · 3 months ago
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i am about to bury myself in my drafts! hope you're all doing well.
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jeonggukieverse · 1 year ago
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So I saw you were taking requests, how about writing on this idea that Jungkook is dating someone (they have been dating for a long time) who would always smile and say it's okay whenever Jk misses out on important things of y/n's life, and the boys would constantly hint that jk should give y/n more time. Jk gets super sad once she realises that he might be not making y/n happy anymore. A fluffy ending please. 💓 I hope this isn't too much ...
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Mind & Music
Pairing: Composer Jungkook x Academic Female Reader
Genre: Established relationship, Absolutely Filthy Smut, Fluff, Angsty
Warnings: Unprotected sex (wrap it up babes), mentions impregnation
Word count: 10k+
My first fic in ages! Feels good to be writing again~ This in not proofread because I was to excited to be uploading again hahah.
This request has been in my inbox for ages, thank you for being patient anon. Love ya 
Let me know how you guys like it 
- Ryeon <3
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He isn’t here. You half expected him not to be. 
Still, you found yourself gazing into the audience half expecting to see that specific mop of black hair. Again, disappointment pulls at your heart as you still don’t find it.  
You hear your name being called and it snapped you out of your disheartening thoughts. You stood up and walked over to the podium and began your speech. 
“Thank you all for coming out today. It’s a privilege to be presented with this award. I am honoured to be standing here in front of you as the youngest recipient of the universities achievement of the decade award. Though I would not have been able to do this without the support and guidance of- “ 
You pause for a moment as you saw familiar smiling faces staring back at you in the crowd. Yoongi and Tae beamed at you from the back of the auditorium. Even from so far away, you could still feel the smiles radiating from their faces. You mirrored their expressions and met their proud grins with one of your own as you continued your speech. Having them here almost made all of your butterflies flutter away. Almost. Cause only the presence of one person could have caused them to disappear completely. 
After the ceremony was over, you rushed out to find your friends. You spotted them stood by the food table munching on some snacks. Your eyes locked with Tae’s first as you ran towards both men and rugby tackled them both into a giant bear hug. 
“Y/N-ah! Please, be careful! You could have knocked over my cucumber sandwich” You rolled your eyes at Taehyung ‘smocking tone. 
“Cucumber? That’s a little bland for you Kim Taehyung”
“First of all, don’t use my government name in public and second of all, it’s the best option this place has to offer. I mean, I get it, it’s Yonsei’s international focused program so it’s going to cater to foreigners but babe, you are in Korea! Where are the spices? Where is the flavour? Where is the taste?” He ranted while wiggling the pale looking sandwich in his hand. You giggled but you couldn’t deny he was wrong. 
“Hey! As a foreigner, I do not claim this cuisine” You retorted. 
“If you say so” Tae rolled his eyes. 
You shook your head at him then turned your attention to the quiet figure next to you. 
Yoongi smiled and held his hand towards you. 
“The youngest recipient of the achievement of the decade award, huh? Very impressive” 
Coming from anyone else, that sentence would have come out as painfully sarcastic but you knew coming from yoongi, it was the highest compliment he could have bestowed on a human being. You completely ignored his attempt at a hand shake and pulled him into a tight hug instead that he gladly accepted. 
Yoongi was the first friend you had made in Korea. You had met on a language exchange app. He was the only guy you had spoken to that hadn’t asked to go ‘eat ramen’ with you, go ‘see his cat’ or ask you to join a cult. But still you carried pepper spray in your bag when you agreed to meet him at the coffee shop because stranger danger is still a thing. It turns out you didn’t need it cause Yoongi was the sweetest guy you had ever met. Blunt as hell but lovely still. You recalled fondly that upon your first meeting that he had told you that your Korean pronunciation was like an elementary school kid. Did it sting? Absolutely. Was it the last time he would say something like that? Absolutely not. But he made sure you improved and got better. He decided midway through your friendship that learning English was ‘too troublesome’ for him. He had made up his mind that listening to you speak English occasionally was the best way to learn…Sure yoongs. 
It was actually Yoongi that introduced you to your boyfriend. Speaking of 
“So where is he?” 
Yoongi’s smile dropped slightly as he absorbed your change in mood. 
“He’s in the studio with Joon. They’re still working on finalising the soundtrack.” 
You forced a smile on your face, sensing the awkwardness in his voice. 
“Ah, its okay! He’s working, I’m happy he at least has a good excuse! If he was at home playing overwatch or something, I would have been super mad” you said hoping your joking tone would mask your disappointment. 
Taehyung chuckled but you know Yoongi could read you like a book. He knew how you really felt. 
“Let’s go! The rest of the guys said they’d be at the bar, right? I want to show them how cute I look in all my graduation gear. Seokjin is going to die of jealousy cause there is no way in hell he looked this good on his graduation” 
“He’s gonna murder you for even insinuating that” Tae gasped in feigned shock. 
“I’d like to see him try” you sang as you skipped in the middle of the two men. You hooked both of your arms in theirs and pulled them towards the exit. 
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“There she is!” 
This was the first thing you heard before you were met with a flurry of applause and cheers as you stepped into the bar. 
You saw the gang sat at your regular booths now decorated with pink and white balloons and confetti. The table adorned with gifts and ‘congratulations banners’. Jimin, Seokjin, Hobi and Jennie stood there holding bottles of champaign. You felt your eyes start to well up, completely touched by the kind gesture. 
“Aww you guys” you spoke, voice wavering. 
“Ha! Pay up Seokjin, I told you Y/N would start crying before she even sat down! Thanks Y/N, you just won me 50000 won” Jennie exclaimed.
“No! Technically, she hasn’t cried! No tears have fallen from her eyes. C’mon Y/N keep it together” Jin begged.
“Sorry Jin, I gotta get my girl her money” You replied, blinking hard so the tears would run down your cheeks.
The group erupted in laughter as Soekjin took out his wallet. 
“That’s enough you two. Tonight, is about Y/N. Congratulations sweetheart.” Jimin said as he pulled you into a hug. You accepted his embrace but you found yourself looking over his shoulder to see if your boyfriend was amongst the crowd. He wasn’t. 
“Yeah, it’s about me! And my goal is to be as drunk as possible by the end of the night!” you proclaimed earning you more cheers from the group. Hopefully if you’re drunk, this feeling of disappointment will eventually go away. 
And it does. After 4 shots of soju, 2 vodka lemonades and a weird cocktail concoction Jimin force fed you, you were feeling better than ever. You were on the dance floor with Jennie having the time of your life. That was until you felt arms wrap around your waist. 
Oh hell no. 
You spun yourself around ready to fight whoever in the hell thought they could touch you unprovoked. Before you could administer your first blow, you were met with a pair of beautifully familiar brown eyes. 
There he was. Jeon Jungkook. 
Your fighting stance shifted as you reached up to wrap your arms around his neck to envelop him in a warm hold. You inhaled his scent as he began to lovingly plant soft kisses in the crook of your neck. You felt a familiar fire start to burn at the pit of your stomach. His innocent gesture in your drunken state was igniting a reaction in you that you were eager to explore. 
“I’m sorry baby” he whispered in your ear. 
And just like that, the feeling was gone. At those three words your vagina dried up quicker than the Sahara Desert. Cause as quickly as you had forgotten, you were reminded once again that he had let you down again. But could you be mad? He was working. This had been his dream since he was a little kid and they were so close to finalising this project, they just needed to finish to complete some final composition. Could you be mad at him? You decide once again, that you couldn’t. Once again, you put his needs before yours. You pulled away from his shoulder and met his face. You plastered a fake smile on and put on another show. 
“Baby, don’t be silly! Don’t worry about it, you’re here now, that’s all that matters.” 
“Thank you, baby. I’ll make it up to you” 
“I know you will” 
And he did. 
The next day, Jungkook took you out to a beautiful dinner to celebrate your achievement. You loved him and you appreciated the gesture, you always did. But you couldn’t help still feeling hurt. 
You supported Jungkook, you always had and you always would. 
It’s funny to think about how devoted you were to him considering how rocky your fist interaction was.
Jungkook was Yoongi’s roommate. You and yoongi had been friends now for about four months before he finally decided to invite you over to his apartment. You had to say, this made you very nervous because Yoongi had always been such a private guy. You knew enough about him to say that you were friends but he always kept himself to himself. This was a part of him that was refreshing to you, really. He was excellent at establishing boundaries. You’ve never had a friend like that before. He was very mature but also very kind and very sweet. So, when he invited you over to game night with his friends you were ecstatic. It’s finally felt like he let you in and that you became real friends. 
And as excited as you were, you were equally nervous. Yoongi had told you bits and pieces about his friends but he assured you they were all really nice. 
You were still on edge but you assured yourself that you were a pleasant person! You had come out of your shell so much in the last couple of months. Your introverted personality had been spun on its head and you were now someone completely different. The constant support from Yoongi and your advancements in your career had made you feel absolutely unstoppable. 
And isn’t it amazing? How months of character development can be wiped away in 2 seconds. 
As soon as you walked into Yoongi’s apartment, you wished you could walk right back out because the second your eyes met with Jeon Jungkook it was very apparent, he did not like you. Like, at all. 
The boy, who had previously been laughing and talking to his friend, made eye contact with you and completely shut down. The smile fell from his face and his body suddenly became stiff and rigid. He looked at you for a millisecond before tearing away eye contact completely. 
You tried to ignore him. You really did because the rest of Yoongi’s friends were so cool. They made you feel welcome and you felt almost at ease. But still, your consciousness couldn’t help but wonder over to the pale, inked up boy stood in the kitchen dressed in an oversized t-shirt and ripped black denim. 
As much as you tried to ignore it, his coldness didn’t alleviate through the night as you’d hoped. In fact, not only did it not get better; it got worse as the night went on. As everyone kept drinking more and more you felt yourself become a little bolder. What was this guys problem? You haven’t done anything to him, he had no reason to be this hostile to you.
You raised this with Namjoon, another one of Yoongi’s roommates, who assured you that Jungkook was always a little weary of strangers. He was a shy person that had great difficulty adjusting to new people. His advice was to give him time to warm up to you and when you felt ready, try and start a casual conversation. 
But it wasn’t as if you hadn’t tried that. You’d made several attempts through the night to try and speak to him to at least extend the olive branch but each time he refused running away from you as if you had some kind of disease. You were sick of it.
You saw him alone on the balcony a few hours later and realised that this was your chance. You marched up to the doors and slipped out to give this guy a piece of your mind. Hearing the noise behind him Jungkook turned his head to be met with you. Again, panic started to run through his body as he tried to make an escape around you but you would not let him. 
“What is your problem?! What did I do to you why are you so weird towards me? I know Yoongi and Namjoon said that you are very selective with your friends and that’s cool but I don’t know what I did to make you dislike me so much. Fucking hell, we just met today! What could I possibly have done that hurt your feelings so much?!” You yelled at him. Your words slightly slurred. Liquid courage was really on your side tonight cause there was no way in hell sober Y/N could yell at him like this. Especially hear on the balcony, his beautiful face illuminated by the moonlight. And the way the evening breeze ruffled through his dark locks made him look like an actual prince.  
“Woah, where did you get the impression that I didn’t like you?”
Huh?! 
His almost idiotic question quickly snapped you out of your thoughts. Was he being serious right now? Or is he just making fun of you?
“Are you kidding me? You haven’t looked at me the entire night, you haven’t introduced yourself and every time I come over to you to try and get some kind of conversation going you run off. Now tell me why are you doing all of that and not speaking to me like a normal human being !?”
“Because I think you’re pretty! And I’m intimidated by you!”
Eh? 
You remained silent for what felt like forever. Did he really just say that or did you just imagine it? No, there is no way he woul- 
“Jesus Christ, say something! Anything!” He huffed. Now putting the half empty beer bottle to his lips to stop his mouth from humiliating him even further. 
Well, Jungkook thought, if he’s going to humiliate himself may as well fully go for it. 
“You think Yoongi hasn’t told us about you? He’s told us how incredible you are. About how you’re a transfer student at the most prestigious college in Korea. About how you’re on track to be the recipient for the ‘biggest brain ever in the whole century award’ or whatever its called. He made you sound so cool; I was banking on you at least being a little bit of an asshole but again, Yoongi’s stories proved us wrong. He told us about how you willing let a random little girl sit next to you for 2 hours at a café because she wanted to practice speaking to you to improve her English. And if im being honest, the more I heard the more I wanted to meet you but when you came in today, looking as fucking beautiful as you do. Which Yoongi coincidentally forgot to mention which is funny cause he mentioned every- fucking -thing else. When you came in…”
He paused and let out a sigh. Breathing for what seemed like the first time since beginning his outburst. 
“…When you came in, I realised how far away from me you were. And I dint have any business even speaking to you. We wouldn’t have anything in common and it would make me realise how inadequate I actually am”.
There was a pause again. Slowly, you began to let out a small giggle. Your small giggle quickly erupted into a full-bodied belly laugh. Your stomach began to hurt and your eyes began to water. You had to lean on the balcony door for support as you surely felt you would pass out. 
During your breakdown, Jungkook could only stare at you his head tilted to the side like a confused bunny. His eyes fell to the floor as your laughter pierced him like a knife and was the cherry on top of his mortification. 
“And you think Yoongi hasn’t told me about you, Jeon Jungkook?” You asked as your laughter subsided. 
“Jeon Jungkook, the musical prodigy. The Jeon Jungkook that could play the piano before he could even walk. The Jeon Jungkook that everyone refers to as the Golden Maknae because you’re so good at everything. Your friends are very vocal about not just your talents in your field but also socially. Apparently, you’re the reason you guys even exist as a friend group. You were the one to make friends with each of them and bring them all together. Do you know how impressive that is?! But I’m intimidating cause I’m a little smart and I’m not mean to children? You are something else Jeon Jungkook.” 
Jungkook paused again. A chuckle escaped his mouth as his laughter then began to mimic yours. You joined him again as both of you stood on the balcony laughing with or at each other. You must have looked like maniacs but at the time both of you were too buzzed to care. 
Either way, this broke the ice between both of you as you were both able to bypass each other’s extensive achievements and finally got to know each other as people.
You’ll never forget that night. You and Jungkook sat on that balcony from 10pm to 7am, long after the others had left or gone to bed. Just talking about anything and everything until you both reached a comfortable silence.
And as the sun was rising, welcoming a brand-new morning you nudged Jungkook’s hand. His head lazily turned towards yours and he met you with a dimpled smile. 
“For what it’s worth” You smiled back. 
“I think you’re pretty and I’m intimidated by you too” 
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That was 5 years ago and you and balcony boy have been inseparable ever since. You had now been there for every single important moment in each other’s life. Well…Almost.
3 years ago, Jungkook and Namjoon got the opportunity to produce a music score for a short film. Despite the films small budget, it managed to exceed all expectations and ended up getting nominated for a golden globe! You were ecstatic and so fucking proud of him. You felt like his talents and hard work were finally getting realised.
Little did you know it would be a bittersweet moment for yours and Jungkook’s relationship. Naturally as more eyes were on the film, more ears were listening to the soundtrack. This had your boyfriend pulled off to here there and everywhere in front of directors and movie studios all interested in investing in the musical duo. And finally they had been hired to compose an entire score to a new movie for a huge studio! This movie in particular, Jungkook had begged and pleaded for. He said the scrip and film premise really spoke to him and were perfect and he needed to compose this movie. This was such a huge deal for them and again you were over the moon. But there were downsides. During the first year after their debut you saw Jungkook 10 times that whole year. You spoke almost every day but almost every conversation ended in an argument. It was either and argument about you feeling neglected or him not feeling supported and it sucked. It really took a toll on both of you. 
The second year was much better. This time for a bit more of a selfish reason. The film studio had its own recording studio in Seoul only a 20-minute walk from yours and Jungkook’s apartment! He was finally able to be home more and you could actually spend time together. And so you did. 
Honestly, the first 6 months Jungkook was back home all you guys did was fuck. It was constant and almost none stop. You fucked in every room of the house at all hours of the day. You couldn’t keep your hands off each other. 
There was a day you both decided to take a break from having sex and just play some video games together. It took you both all of 5 minutes before sonic was long forgotten about and you were bent over the sofa. 
It was very romantic really. But even that joy was short lived. 
Jungkook prioritised his art. That was one thing you’d always respected and admired about him. Even the way he talked about music that wasn’t his, he painted the emotions of the music into words to explain to you the way a piece made him feel. He could describe to you in detail the way the crescendos bend in the moments before it’s about to fall. About how the vibrations of the violins is the most romantic sound ever to grace the human consciousness. He was an artist through and through. His music was him and he was his music. They were one and could not be separated. But that raised a question for you:
Where did you fit in? 
This is what made the dinner you were on now very melancholic. It was to make up for him missing your award acceptance. 
He was sorry. You knew he was but you couldn’t ignore that this was your forth make up dinner this year: First was your birthday, second was your anniversary, third was dinner with your parents (that they had specifically flown out to Korea for) and the forth was the award. The award he knew you were on track to get before he’d even met you. The award you’d poured your heart into getting and the one you’d sacrificed so much for. But he was sorry, right? Plus, he had promised to make it up to you. Next week your professor had invited you to the university to give a special lecture to other projected recipients of the award you’d just achieved. It was a high honour as these students were the best and the brightest students from countries all over the world and of all the recipients to give the lecture, they had requested you! There have been recipients before you that had gone on to win Nobel Peace Prizes but they had specifically requested you. And Jungkook was so proud of you.
“Are you okay, little mouse? You seem a little quiet tonight”. Jungkook asked, genuine concern apparent on his face. 
“I’m just thinking bunny boy.”
“About me?” He winked at you, almost cartoonishly. 
“Bunny boy, how can you cross my mind if you never leave it” you winked back at him with the same playfully cartoonish obnoxiousness. 
“Ooh that’s going on my list” 
For the past 5 years of your relationship Jungkook has been keeping a list of things you say to him that makes him smile. This list has always confused you cause it would always be the silliest stuff. Once, when he was sleeping, you went and snooped through his notes app just to see this list and you couldn’t believe it. You were expecting the most romantic phrases or compliments that fluffed his ego but instead, the top three (out of four thousand!) were:
“I’d fight a microwave for you”
“You smell like home” 
“I think you’re pretty and I’m intimidated by you too” 
You woke him up immediately to ask about it. But his only defence was they were phrases you said that make him smile. You’re understanding of his list was ‘irrelevant’ to him. 
God, you loved him. 
“You’re so silly. But seriously Kookie; don’t worry, I’m good. Plus, you’re the one who’s been talking my ear off all night. I’m surprised you’ve even noticed me being quite” You quipped playfully, taking a sip of your wine. 
“Ooh, someone’s feisty tonight. I forgot what red wine does to you” He quipped back; eyebrows now raised highlighting the metal bar that accented it. 
God, he was cool.
“How could you forget? The first time we met I was wine drunk” 
“Ah yes, how could I forget. You get very mouthy off of red wine. Don’t worry, I know how I can put that mouth to good use” 
“Jeon Jungkook!” You yelled at him in a whisper.  Eyes darting around to see if anyone had heard your boyfriends lewd comment. Luck for you the other couples around you’re were too infatuated with their partners to even notice you guys. 
“Well, while were in pubic, put that mouth to better use and tell me about your day” he said, now leaning back in his chair. 
“Well, my day was pretty calm actually. It makes a change. I was walking Ban and bumped into Holly and Yoongi. We were talking about next week and he asked if he could bring a plus one. Wink, wink” 
“A plus one! Is Yoongi dating?! In the 12 years I’ve known the guy he has never shown romantic interest in anyone. I can’t even imagine his type. Did he give you any information”?! 
“Nah, you know how he is. Yoongi will only let you know what he wants you to know” 
“True. What’s going on next week?” 
You paused for a second and started chuckling. He was kidding. He had to be. 
The smile then fell from your face when he didn’t share in your laughter. 
“Oh my god you’re serious? You forgot about my lecture”?!
He gasped and began coughing as the bite of steak he had just put into his mouth had just gone down the wrong pipe.
“Of course not baby, how could I forget something so important to you” he continued to splutter. 
You stared back at him. The good mood you had felt a moment ago had completely evaporated. You waited for him to gain his composure so he could explain himself cause boy he had some explaining to do. 
“Just for giggles and fun and jokes, what date is your lecture again?” 
“The fifteenth” you said, shortly. 
His face fell and his eyes stayed stuck on his plate.
“Baby…Please don’t hate me. That’s the night we have the final run through of the soundtrack with the director. I can’t miss that…I’m so s- “
“You’re so sorry. Im sure you are.” You stood up. 
You grabbed your purse and you stormed out away from him. You could hear him calling your name but the burn of your throat as you fought back the tears overpowered his calls. 
How could he? No, how could you? How could you ever expect anything different. You will always be second to his first love and that was a pain you had to learn to live with. 
The moment you left the restaurant and the cold air of the night hit your face you decided to just let the tears fall. You sobbed as you walked further and further away from him. 
You heard the rhythmic pounding of laced up docks hitting the pavement behind you. 
“Y/N please I’m sorry. Just let me explain…”
“No! There is nothing you could say that would fix this! I have always been there for you! I have supported you from the very beginning! Every piece of music you have ever played for me I have cherished as if it were my own and you used to support me too! At my first presentation you were there. Cheering at the top of your lungs in a silent room. You used to be my number one cheerleader but now when all I ask of you, is to just show up? You can’t do it. And every chance I give you to fix it. You let me down. Jungkook, I need some time away from you. I’m going to be staying with Yoongi for a few days”. 
You said nothing more. You spun around and walked the 2 minutes to Yoongi’s apartment. And true to your word you stayed with them till the day before your lecture. 
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Despite being a creative Jungkook worked like clockwork. Every single day at the same 3 times a day Jungkook would try to call you. The call was always followed by an ‘I love you’ text but today was different. After the second call of the day the text that followed said:
“I know this is such a fucking reach and such a huge ask but would you mind swinging around our apartment today at around 3? Director Anderson would like to speak to you. I know you probably still need your space so I’ll be in the apartment but I’ll be in the bedroom. I’ll come out only when you’ve left, I promise. Please come” 
He really had some fucking nerve. That ‘please come’ at the end of his text almost sent your blood boiling. 
“You should talk to him,” said a familiar voice. 
Your turned your whole body around on the sofa so Yoongi could see your eyes roll at his suggestion. 
“Yoongs, I feel like it shouldn’t be me your having this conversation with. You should try telling him not to break commitments to people” 
“Oh I have! That’s why I’m telling you, you need to speak to him. I know it’s none of my business but I think you guys just need to talk it out. And even if you don’t have anything to say, at least hear the boy out” he finalised before turning on his heels and heading back into his room. 
That wasn’t the speech you were expecting but it did calm you down enough to re-read Jungkook’s text. Your boiling rage had now been replaced with intrigue and curiosity. The meeting was requested by the director of the film? This was very unusual. You had heard about the director in passing but you had never spoken directly before. But you had decided that you were going to go. You we determined to look the man who practically stole your boyfriend for years in the face and lecture him about respecting his colleagues work/life balance! Plus it will be good practice for your lecture tomorrow. Two birds, one stone. 
It would be an absolute lie to say that you weren’t missing Jungkook. You knew the apartment would smell like him and you hoped you may be able to swipe one of his t-shirts to sleep in before you leave. 
You ubered over to your apartment and stood before the oak front door feeling oddly nervous. To took a shaky breath and inserted the passcode: 5318008 (you and Jungkook were children at heart cause you both laughed for hours after agreeing upon the code).
Upon hearing the beeping of the lock to confirm the door was unlocked you pushed it open. You stepped in, removed your shoes and couldn’t help the solemn smile that crept onto your face. Jungkook’s scent hit you as soon as you entered the room. 
God, you missed him. 
You strode inside and were met with a recognisable figure sitting upright on your sofa. His back stood tall and his hair was a mousy brown colour. It was so bizarre seeing him here. There was an uncanny feeling, seeing this man you knew but had never met sat in your living room.
He must have felt you staring at him because his head soon whipped around. 
“Y/N. So nice to finally meet you.” He stood up and walked over to you shoving his hand out towards you. You shook it hesitantly. His hands were cold and clammy but his eyes were warm. He was tall and chubby but he wasn’t foreboding, in fact he seemed rather friendly Damnit. You wanted him to be an asshole, it would have made telling him what was on your mind so much easier. 
“It’s nice to meet you too, Mr Anderson” you said as coldly as you could muster. 
“Mr Anderson is so formal, just call me James. Although its strange. We’re meeting for the first time but it feels as if I have already met you” His German accent becoming more apparent as he spoke. 
“And why is that?”
“Ah, that is why I asked Jungkook to invite you over. Although it does feel strange extending you an invitation to your home” he chuckled to himself. 
He invited you to sit down on the couch, it was only then that you noticed a laptop connected to your TV. 
“What’s all this?” you asked. Genuinely curious. 
“I have a little something for you to watch. It may make explaining why I asked you hear a little more apparent. Please, have a seat my dear” he guided you to the sofa as you plopped yourself down. Eyes glued to the screen. 
You anticipated what would happen next when a familiar tune began to play. You knew it was Jungkook’s composition as soon as you heard it. Suddenly an animated mouse popped up on the screen. She was in the wings of a stage, obviously nervous but she strolled out into the spotlight in front of a stoic audience of other animals. Just as she was about to speak there was suddenly a loud whooping from the crowd that interrupted the slow score. It was a bunny. A bunny with banners and whistles and confetti and he was cheering for her. The others in the audience told him to be quite but he exclaimed ‘That’s my girlfriend’ still as proud as can be. 
The trailer played on and you slowly started to get it. It was you. This little mouse was you. Tears welled up in your eyes as yours and Jungkook’s entire relationship began to play in front of you. All your highs and your lows. It was beautiful and the accompaniment of his music made the tears pour from your eyes until it was over. 
You turned back to James and attempted to speak but only blubbers could come out. 
“Let me explain Y/N. When Jungkook and Namjoon came out to LA to play some stuff for the studio the only thing the boy would speak about, other than music, was you my dear. Jungkook and I sat for hours speaking about you. He told these elaborate stories about how you met, who you are and about the adventures you got into together. It was indeed very fascinating to me, you almost seemed like a heroine in his very own story. He bragged about your achievements almost as if they were his own. According to him, you are the smartest woman on the planet my dear and he would not be told otherwise. Oh, congratulations on the achievement of the decade award! And the youngest recipient at that? Incredible work my dear, just incredible. Jungkook went into great detail about what a huge deal that was. Needless to say the day after the networking event I went home and began writing the script for ‘Mouse & Bunny – Mind & Music’. I had just never seen someone so passionate about another person. His passion for you far outweighs his passion for his craft, that much was apparent, it was awe inspiring and I had to bring It to the screen. I think that is why Jungkook fought so hard to be the lead composer for the soundtrack. He wanted to intertwine the two loves of his life”. 
You sat there in complete shock for a moment before jumping into James’s arms and engulfed him into a hug. His moustache tickled your shoulder as he chuckled and said he was happy to have cleared things up. As he packed up his laptop, he was asking you so many questions, probably attempting to confirm the validity of Jungkook’s stories: 
“Did you really fight a microwave” 
“I most certainly did” 
“Did you really use protein powder as flour for a cake?” 
“I most certainly did” 
“Did you really not know the earth went around the sun?” 
“That son of a-… no comment” 
He snorted as he packed up the last of his things. You walked him to the door but he turned to you before saying his final goodbyes. 
“Y/N, it seems wrong for me to give the final approval for the soundtrack. I’ve heard it and I know it’s the most beautiful accompaniment to the film but it seems only fitting that the muse gets to give the final say so. Take the afternoon to listen to it and pass your notes to Jungkook. If you like it, I’ll approve it. So there should be no need for my originally planned final listen tomorrow. Jungkook seemed like he wanted to attend something much more important tomorrow anyway” He winked at you as he closed your door. 
You didn’t even wait for the door to fully shut before you were sprinting to your shared bedroom.
The pitter patter of your bare feet slapping the wood floor could almost not be heard over the beating of your heart. You bust open the door to see the love of your live leaning over his piano. 
You must have given him such a fright as his big boba eyes were the first to greet you. 
“Y/N I-“
You crashed your lips onto his, completely cutting him off. 
“I am the stupidest person in the world.” 
Jungkook laughs, standing up beside you. 
“No little mouse, why do you say that” he said with a soft smile while he caressed your tear-stained face. 
“I don’t know why I didn’t just ask! I’m so- “
“Even if you asked, I probably wouldn’t have told you. I wanted things to be a surprise. But baby, first I needed to apologise, like really apologise” 
“You have nothing to be sorry for” 
“Yes, I do. Ever since I met you, you brought light into my world. I wanted to express to you my love in the best way I knew how and this project, to me, was the best way for me to put into the world how I felt about you. But I was selfish, I took my expression of love and put it above all the things I knew you had work so hard to achieve. In a way, I put my love above yours and I will forever be sorry and I can assure you, it won’t happen again. I love you Y/N L/N” 
You reward his confession with another kiss, pulling him into your arms soon after. 
you sighed, almost longingly. “Whatever shall I do with my bunny boy?” 
“Whatever shall I do with my little mouse?” Jungkook chuckles, pressing a kiss against the side of your ear, drawing soothing circles on your hip. 
He gently placed you down against your mattress. You clung to him and giggled  
You stay quiet, appreciating the comfort of Jungkook’s presence. 
God, he smelled good. 
“Okay,” he purrs, caressing your hip as he repositioned himself more securely. “I get it. My pretty girl must’ve missed me, huh? A week away? It felt more like a lifetime” You nodded in response. Terrified that if you spoke, your voice would fail you.
Jungkook shifted, the hand that was previously on your hip swiftly fell over your thigh instead. “Or should I say my smart girl?” he hums as his hand slipped between your thighs. “My smart, pretty, intimidating girl?” 
Your eyes flutter closed and you revel in the feeling of him running his fingers over the front of your panties. Your toes curl at the sudden pressure.
“Ah,” you hissed.
“Hmm?” he says, mouthing against the crook of your neck. His mouth feels so warm, but the trails of saliva he leaves have you shivering. “My smart girl doesn’t have anything smart to say?” 
“N-No,” you tried to scoff back, fingernails digging into his skin through his shirt. His hands were getting braver now as he slipped his hand beneath your waistband, and touched your wet heat head on. “Baby.”
Jungkook chuckled at your immediate submission for his touch and took the opportunity to connect his mouth back you yours. You whimpered in surprise, legs trembling as he gets to work circling your hardening bud. Your thighs are squirming, clenching around his hand every few moments. 
You bit down a whine. “I was just…” you trailed off as he teased his index and middle fingers against your opening. 
“Just what baby? Just thinking?” he said as he finally pushed himself off of you and propped himself up with an elbow beside your head. His gaze became a familiar dark. He moved at a godlike speed as he snatched his hand out from where you had previously trapped him between your legs. 
Jungkook pulled away from you and rolled his neck, the joints in his spine cracking as he begins pulling off his shirt. You had to stop yourself from drooling at the sight of him. 
He threw his shirt off to the side of the bed, his sleeve of tattoos that wrapped around his bicep and crawled down his chest were wonderfully free now. “My eyes are up here, little mouse” he said and your eyes immediately shot back up to meet his gaze. He leaned towards you, muscled arms coming to cage you in against the headboard. 
“No one is looking at your eyes bunny boy” you attempted to quip back. Completely failing to mask the tremor in your voice. Jungkook always had a way of making you feel powerless under his gaze when he was on top of you like this. 
His hand grabbed beneath your knee and yanked you unforgivingly until you were slumped down onto your back with a squeak. You settled with his knee pressed directly against your core. Jungkook stayed towering over you. 
He placed his hand gently around the base of your neck as he leaned in to properly grind his thigh into you. “Is that right? No one’s looking at my eyes, huh?” he murmured darkly, thumb pressing a little harder into the side of your neck. You sobbed, soaked panties rubbing roughly against his leg. 
“Are you gonna touch me?” you interrupted, lower lip trembling at the thought after your desperate rutting. Jungkook pursed his lips together in thought. 
“Hmmm,” he hummed. “Not too sure yet.”
You whined. “Jungkook, please,” you whimpered, wrapping your legs around his waist. “I need you.”
Jungkook chuckled, running his hand up your waist and taking your dress with him. He slips his fingers beneath your bra, pushing the wire over your chest as he mouthed at your neck. “Cute,” he cooed. “Can’t do it yourself?”
You trembled, chest heaving into him as he rolled your nipple between his fingers. “I-I can,” you gulped. “You just do it better.” Jungkook followed your admission with a nip against your skin, tongue soothing over it right after. “Why? Because I do everything better than you? Even make you cum better than you?”
You mewled in response, determined not to give him the satisfaction of answering his question. Cause you both new the answer was yes. He made you cum so much better than you could.
“Remove your clothes for me...” he whispered gruffly yet sweet as he pulled himself from you. 
You hurriedly removed the rest of your clothes you caught Jungkook’s mouth falling open in awe at the semi-nude sight of you before him. After finally removing your bra and panties, you threw them to the floor with the rest of your clothes, you observed how he licked his lips shamelessly as he took in the view of your beautifully perky nipples that drove him absolutely insane. You looked into his deep eyes, catching your bottom lip in between your teeth and Jungkook couldn’t stop himself from palming his cock over the confinements of his pants – watching you get worked up just for him. 
“Are we that type of couple, Jungkook?” you whispered his name sweetly as you slowly climb on top of him. You straddled him, pushing your breasts flush against his chest.
“Which type are you referring to?” he murmured back as his hand moved back to between your thighs – feeling the damp patch of your essence now overflowing. You felt his cock pulsate in anticipation.
“The ones who have an argument, then have angry make up sex?” you giggled as you began pressing soft, delicate kisses along his neck. Jungkook’s eyes shut tightly as he felt your teeth nip at him – causing a breath of air to leave his lungs while you began sucking on his skin – leaving your mark on him. The next thing you knew, Jungkook pulled your mouth away from his neck and flipped you over. He was now hovering over you and began continuing on you what you had started on him
“Jungkook...” you let his name occupy your mouth and your thoughts as he suckled on your skin – alternating between kissing you, biting you and dragging his teeth further south to your boobs.
“Let us see how much of a good girl you can be for me...” you suddenly felt his breath dangerously close to the mound between your legs, before his hands began kneading and gripping at your ass-cheeks. Jungkook moved his face right into you – just shy of his nose touching your folds from behind as he took in your sweet scent. He wanted to devour you whole – but at the same time, he wanted nothing more than to hear you beg and plead for your own pleasure and release. You trembled at the contact of his index finger running along your slippery lips, feeling it hastily stroke your bud before he pulled it back down again – repeating the same action over and over.
 Jungkook smirked at the noises coming from you; whimpers of frustration, want and need. He knew you were like putty in his hands with the way your lewd wetness heavily coated his finger; and he would have wanted it no other way.
“Please Jungkook...please stop teasing me – I need you so fucking badly I – “you rolled your head to the opposite side – placing your blazing cheek against the pillow in an attempt to extinguish the apparent fire that was burning your entire face. You knew he was making you wait for it – and you both simultaneously loved and hated it in a hundred different ways. 
You breathed a sigh of relief, along with moans of satisfaction as his tongue continued to explore every inch of you. The scandalous sounds from his tongue and his lips filled the room as he continued to consume you. 
“I’m so close Jungkook – fuck...” you moaned a string of further curses as he sped up his movements – his finger now wiggling heavily over your clit as his tongue probed you even deeper than before.
“Are you really?” he hummed, slowing his pace as you whined in response. “Hmm...I can’t have you coming undone on me just yet little mouse...where’s the fun in that? Plus, I had to wait a whole week for you to come back. Do you think I would let you cum so quickly?” he grinned coyly as he moved away from you – licking the remainder of you off his lips as you damn near cried out in anger at being denied your orgasm when it was seconds away.
God, he’s such an asshole. 
“You can cry and whine all you want...but you’re not getting anything unless I think you deserve it; do you understand me, baby?” he cooed with the heaviest form of sarcasm you had ever heard as he began coating his erection with your wetness – giving himself a few strokes as he smirked and watched you squirm in defeat underneath him. You rolled your eyes to the back of your head, before turning onto your stomach as fast as you could to avoid his arrogant gaze. 
As you laid faced away from him, all you could feel was the thick width of his cock resting between your cheeks as Jungkook took it upon himself to slowly grind himself into you – giving him the minimal amount of pleasure and you the maximum amount of excruciating frustration.
“Yes! I understand...please...I’ll do anything, please!” you shamelessly pleaded – hearing the desperation in your own voice as you moved your ass backwards into him. Jungkook chuckled before he began sprinkling light kisses the whole way up your spine – the fleeting feeling of his lips leaving damp patches on your skin being enough to make it feel like he was burning you with desire for more of him.
“Good girl” Jungkook praised you – letting you feel the tip of his cock resting just on top your drenched entrance. And – without warning, he quickly eased himself in as far as he could go; hearing you let out breathy moans and whimpers as he pressed deeper.  
“Louder” he commanded as he leaned back – looking down to view his member leave your tight walls – much to both of your displeasures. “I want the entire world to know who’s fucking your pussy like this right now” he slammed back inside you, feeling your slickness engulf him as your screams filled the room. 
“That’s it Y/N, that’s my good girl” Jungook growled as he began pounding you into you at an unforgiving pace. You cried and sobbed feeling his cock reach deeper inside you with each time his skin smacked against yours. Jungkook relished in the look of your ass every time it bounced off his lower abdomen as he continued pummelling into you mercilessly – when he saw your hand reach back to try and hold his. Knowing that you needed to feel the security of his grasp, Jungkook leaned over your back and laced his fingers with yours – giving you fast, deep strokes of his cock while you felt it slam against your precious nerves inside you. Jungkook knew you were already on the verge of letting go from the way your voice got louder and higher – along with your walls constricting around his member so tightly that he had to almost hold his breath to not finish before you.
“Cum for me – you earned it sweetheart, let go and let me hear your beautiful voice” he cooed into your ear. And, like his words were the only thing that could set you free, you came hard around him while you closed your eyes tight as you felt your orgasm pour out of you. Jungkook coaxed you through your cries of ecstasy as he slowed his thrusts down – still keeping their depth while his groans harmonised with your own voice in the wake of your pleasure. And, just as quickly as it came, your high left your body – leaving you slumped face down into the pillow with no will to do much else other than breathe. You felt Jungkook slowly slide out of you – feeling the emptiness he left behind while he began pulling you up and back into his chest, his hands then roaming over every inch of your skin he could find.
“Did that feel good, baby?” he purred, nibbling on the bottom of your ear and letting you know that he was still standing to attention with the way his member pressed into your ass. You let out an airy chuckle, still not able to maintain a coherent train of thought.
“Mmhm” you hummed, reaching behind you to let your hand rest on the back of his neck, letting your fingers get lost in his hair as Jungkook dotted your neck with kisses once more.
“I can’t get enough of you – no matter how much you give me, no matter how much I take...” he murmured on top of your skin, making you shiver from head to toe and smile from ear to ear.
“What are you waiting for then, bunny boy?” you replied, turning around to him and coming face to face with his dark hooded eyes. “I want you to take more...take me, Jungkook” you mewled as Jungkook’s hands began caressing all his favourite parts of you – your hips and the tops of your thighs included. 
You swapped positions and you positioned yourself on top him. As you did, Jungkook quickly pulled his legs underneath your bottom before crossing them below you, while you instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist so that you were both in a sort of Lotus Flower position. You looked down, seeing his head perfectly level with your tits as he began kissing and nipping at your hardened nipples – making you reel from the sensitive sensation that coursed through you. You observed his hand as it slipped underneath you – grabbing a hold of his pulsating member and angling it right before your welcoming entrance once again.
“Baby...aren’t you forgetting something?” you questioned immediately in reference to the fact that he was about to enter you whilst you both found yourself in the most romantic baby-making position known to man. Jungkook shook his head as he looked up into your eyes, his stare completely melting you from the inside out.
“I want to feel you when I cum inside you...I want to make you mine in every way possible...will you let me?” his husky voice travelled to every single part of your soul as you let your mouth hang agape. 
“But – what if...you know?” you replied, wondering how he felt about the most obvious thing that could happen from not using protection. 
“You have nothing to worry about, Y/N” he whispered softly, feeling himself press against your small opening as the tip of his cock became engulfed by your slick tightness. “’If it happens, it happens. I would want no other woman to mother my children” you both let out an intense moan in turn as he pushed his way inside you. When Jungkook thought about you carrying his first child and bringing the product of your love into the world; with him becoming a father and you becoming a mother, it filled him with delicate feelings of paternal happiness he knew he could never feel with anyone else but you. 
You bit your lip hard as you rolled your hips at a rhythmical pace into his – feeling every inch of him curving inside you. Jungkook placed one hand below your bottom, while cradling your back with his free arm as a means to let you set the pace of your love making, but still letting him have full control over your every movement. You felt wave after wave of pleasure strike you as your clit moved flush against Jungkook’s body that was tight against yours; and your moans continued to spill from your lips as he looked up into your face – his eyes full of life and love as he seemingly peered right into your soul. In contrast to Jungkook’s way of asserting himself over you just moments ago, you could see the vulnerability in his eyes as he let his mouth hang open – panting and groaning at the feeling of pleasure from being inside you and so close to you.
“I love you...so much, Jungkook” you managed to speak – feeling your body almost grow limp from having little to no energy left as you felt your sweat drip down your temples. Sensing your exhaustion, Jungkook helped you lay down on your back to the bed – keeping himself still lodged inside you as he rested himself between your legs. His thrusts were slow, deep and meaningful as he pressed his forehead to yours and took your hands in his – pinning them to the bed while he felt your pulse rocket as he pushed you once again to your second orgasm of the evening. You felt like the entire world was spinning as you attempted to moan and writhe in fulfilment – but unfortunately, no sound left your mouth as you produced a silent cry in the wake of Jungkook’s pleasure-filled stokes that reached deeper and deeper within you.
“And I... I love you Y/N” Jungkook’s lips found yours for the millionth time as he felt himself twitch inside of you – his entire seed mixing with your juices as he came deep within you. He tensed every single one of his muscles, letting you swallow each of his moans as he slowed down gently.
“I’m so happy that you’re mine...” he almost whimpered as his movements ceased – before letting himself collapse on top of you, resting his head in the crook of your neck while you raised your arms up and over his back to hug him even closer to you.
“And I’m so happy that you’re mine, too” you kissed the top of his head – still feeling his cock buried inside of you as you couldn’t help but smile to yourself. 
Jungkook raised his head a fraction to look at you – his appearance both thoughtful and endearing as he held on to you. “I really am sorry Y/N. I never want you to feel like your aren’t a priority to me” he blinked gently as you continued to listen to his heartfelt, post love making thoughts.
“I know” you replied quietly, tracing the muscles along his back with your fingers. “And I’m sorry too. I guess we both just need to communicate a little better”.
“My Y/N – You are my world. You – you are my��everything. I used to not understand what people meant when they said that to someone they loved, because before you – I thought music was my only love. But every day I spend with you, you give me a hundred more reasons to adore you. I promise I will spend the rest of my life trying to prove that.”
You felt yourself well up at his words of endearment. He really was your world and you now knew for a fact that you were his too. 
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“Ooh, I forgot to say” you interrupted yours and Jungkook post love making silence. 
“James said I could approve the soundtrack for our film” 
Jungkook smiled to himself upon hearing you refer to it as your film. 
“If that’s what James said, who am I to undermine the director.” He declared. 
“The songs are on my phone in the Media Folder but im gonna hop in the shower while you listen. Cause it will break my heart if you don’t like them” he chuckled, half joking half serious. 
“I know im going to love them babe. But you go and take your shower, I’ll be right here when you come out”. 
He left with a smile. 
You scrolled through his phone to find the music files and tears began to fill your eyes once again as you read the tracklist: 
“I’d fight a microwave for you”
“You smell like home” 
“I think you’re pretty and I’m intimidated by you too” 
And the list went on. It was his list. His list of your phrases that made him smile. Before you could even finish reading the tracklist, you ran to the shower you embrace your bunny boy and show him for a second round how much you loved him. 
Although, if you had taken just a few moments to read the tracklist, Jungkook is sure you would have loved the last song on the soundtrack. It was the only title that wasn’t you contribution, it was his: 
12. “I hope she’ll marry me”
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Hope ya'll enjoyed it! My requests are open, feel free to send em across :)
1K notes · View notes
delusionalwriterr · 11 months ago
Text
See Her Smile
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Pairing: College Athlete!Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: With Bucky being new to relationships, he’s still trying to learn how to handle things. But how does he handle things when you’re going through something you don’t even know how to handle yourself? 
Word Count: 5.1k
Warnings: signs of depression, angst, fluff
A/N: GUESS WHO’S BACK FROM THE DEAD Y’ALL. i missed writing so much, but life keeps giving me reasons not to T_T this fic is based off of See Her Smile from Tick, Tick... Boom! it's been stuck in my head all week, and i couldn't help but write something about it.
Masterlist | Prompt List
–––––
You hear Nat cheer beside you as you watch Steve catch the ball that was thrown to him. “That’s my man!” she exclaims as you take a swig of water, watching the football team as they prepare for an upcoming game. 
This wasn’t your normal scene. If you’d ask your freshman self if she’d be willing to sit in the sweltering heat to watch sweaty men push each other around, she would laugh it off and turn back to binge watching her favorite show on Netflix. It wasn’t until you started dating one of the university’s linebackers, Bucky Barnes, did you even begin to consider watching football matches and turning up to their practices all together. 
“Come on, lighten up! Your man’s over there too,” Nat pipes up, briefly looking over at you before turning back to watch the team. You chuckle as your eyes land on his figure. You couldn’t exactly see his face, but you were able to spot him in the field considering you’ve been dating for about 4 months now. You let out a cheer as you watch him tackle another player to the ground. His head snaps towards the direction of your voice as he stands up.  You can’t see it, but you knew he was smiling. He puts his hand on his chest before pointing at you, his way of saying, “That one’s for you!”
You grin, cheeks heating up at his gesture as you feel your chest swell. Nat turns to you, a sly smirk on her face as she sips her iced coffee. “I take it that things with you two are going well?” she asks, making you tear your attention away from the field. You grin even wider before answering, “Yeah, things are great.”
You have to admit, you’d never think you would end up dating a football player– and when Bucky approached you one night at a random party to ask you out, you halfheartedly said yes, expecting that he would just take you to a random sports bar and try to hook up with you the same night. Fortunately, the date went better than expected with him bringing you to his favorite taco truck downtown and driving you to one of those retro drive-in movie theaters. However, he failed to check what movie they were playing that night and had the both of you watch a random Scandinavian film with no subtitles. In the end, the two of you decided on staying in the car and get to know each other more with the movie long discarded in the background. 
Eventually, you ended up going on a few more dates after that and got to know how sweet he really was. Sure, he was still a jock and was still getting a hang of being in a committed relationship, but you could see him actively put the effort in it so you were more than happy. 
You hear their coach blow his whistle, signaling the end of their practice which prompts you and Nat to jump from your seats and head down to the field to meet Bucky and Steve. Nat gets there first, crashing into Steve’s embrace, almost knocking him over. You laugh at the interaction before your eyes land on Bucky’s. With his helmet off, you have the opportunity to finally see his face. His hair was flat from his helmet with a few strands clinging to his forehead, the eye black on his cheeks smudged due to the sweat, and his mouth stretched into that boyish grin you grew to love. 
“What’s a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?” he asks playfully as you approach him. He puts his helmet down to wipe the beads of sweat on his face. “Just looking for some hot jocks to kiss,” you tease, earning a laugh from him before he wraps his arms around your waist. “Find anyone you like?” he plays along. You smile, snaking your arms to the back of his neck. “Oh, yeah, I got one right here,” you giggle as you pull him into a kiss. It was soft and slow, and you could taste the saltiness of the sweat on his upper lip, but you didn’t care. 
“Hello to you too, dollface,” you hear him mumble between your lips before pulling away.  “I’m taking Steve to that new pizza place that just opened near campus, come with us?” he asks, shaking his head which elicited droplets of sweat to fly towards you much to your disgust. “You’re such a boy for doing that,” you grumbled. “But yeah, count me in.”
He smiles, but before he could get another word in, Nat interjects, “Count me in, too!” 
Bucky shakes his head, “Nuh uh, you’re not invited. Steve told me how sick he was of you and how loud you snore when you sleep.” Nat gasps before playfully hitting Steve in the chest, earning an “ow” from him. “You told Bucky?!” she shrieks, but before she could protest even more, Steve pulls her into a kiss, muttering a quick “I love you”, then runs towards the shower room. Bucky turns back to you, giving you a swift kiss. “Pick you, guys, up in 20.” 
As he was leaving, he looks back over at Nat and lets out a few loud snores, prompting her to throw a handful of dirt towards him. “Screw you, Buchanan!”  
–––––
A few days later, Bucky walks out of the field, his bag hanging from his shoulder, a cold breeze brushing through him as he begins to walk back to campus. “Hey, Buck, solid practice today,” Sam Wilson, one of the tackles, pipes up from behind him. “Yeah, man, good job today,” Bucky replies, giving his teammate a fist bump. “Me and Parker are gonna grab a few drinks, you coming?” 
Bucky laughs, the thought of Parker getting tipsy over a few pints entering his mind. He shakes his head, “I’ll pass tonight, man. Might go see my girl.” 
Sam smirks before clasping a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “Alright, see you around.” 
“Hey, take care of Parker, alright? Don’t want his aunt to find out he got wasted over a few cocktails!” Bucky calls out, earning a cackle from his teammate as he walks away. 
He checks the time to find out practice ended a few minutes early so he sends you a quick message, knowing you’re probably still in class. 
hey doll practice finished early
want me to walk you to your dorm? i should be able to swing by to pick you up from class
He waits for a few minutes before hearing a ping from his phone, gaze immediately falling to the screen. 
no need. didn’t go to class today wasn’t feeling well. 
oh? you want me to bring you some soup?
no its ok. thank u tho
anything for you, baby
do you want me to come over tho? 
maybe next time, bucky. sorry
Bucky frowns, taking notice of the difference in the way you typed. You were colder than usual and you’d usually want to see him even when you weren’t feeling the best. He’s a bit disappointed too, wanting to take care of you until you get better, but knows to respect your wishes. So he brushes it off. 
He shoots you a quick text saying he hopes you feel better soon before messaging Sam to say he’ll catch up with him and Parker in a few. 
Looks like he’ll take up Sam’s offer after all. 
–––––
Bucky cranes his neck over to the bleachers, but frowns when his eyes land on Nat sitting alone. You didn’t come to his practice today. Bucky would’ve been fine about it, but he knows you didn’t have any conflicting classes at this time and you would’ve messaged him beforehand if you weren’t able to come for whatever reason. 
“Maybe she’s still feeling under the weather,” Steve reasons, following his best friend’s gaze towards the seats.  
Bucky nods absentmindedly in response, “Yeah, I guess so.”
He was trying so hard to hide the fact that he was getting increasingly worried. He also doesn’t want to seem too clingy considering you’ve only been seeing each other for a short time. He’s only been in a handful of serious relationships before, and most of them happened when he was still a clueless teenager in highschool. You were the first person he was willing to be fully committed to after a few months of fooling around in college so he definitely does not want to screw things up.
After practice, he asks Nat if she knew where you were only to find out that Nat was just as clueless as he was. With a huff, Bucky fishes his phone out of his pocket. 
missed you at practice today. still feeling sick? 
“Hey,” Steve calls from behind him, Nat trailing closely behind. “Nat and I are gonna go study at the library, see you there?” 
Bucky snorts. “By study at the library you mean get frisky by the shelves at the back? Yeah, I think I’ll pass.” 
Steve laughs as Nat drags him away from the field, patting Bucky’s back comfortingly before fully parting ways. This action goes unnoticed as Bucky’s eyes remain glued to his phone, waiting for your reply. 
A few minutes pass and he grows antsy. He hesitantly types another message. 
baby? 
This time, you read the message, but still don’t reply. Bucky runs his hand through his hair, a sign that he was growing anxious. He looks around the field, desperately trying to find someone to talk to so he could take his mind off of you. To his dismay, the rest of the team either left or were still in the showers. 
Bucky thinks about his next move. 
i’m coming over. 
He quickly stuffs his phone in his pocket and practically sprints over to your dorm, a million things racing in his mind. His chest tightens at the thought of you being in trouble, not really knowing what to expect when he sees you. If he sees you. 
Bucky shakes his head to get rid of the image of him turning up at your dorm only to find it empty– he wouldn’t know where to begin looking for you considering you won’t reply to his messages. This is the first time you acted like this towards him, and Bucky tries to recall everything he’s said to you lately, attempting to think of anything that could have upset you. His pace slows down as he begins to question if he was overthinking things, his mind tricking him into thinking that he was being too clingy and it might turn you off. But with the absence of your replies and the assurance that you’re okay, Bucky’s strides become bigger and he picks up speed towards your dorm. 
A head of brown hair meets his gaze as the door to your apartment swings open upon his knock. “Hey, Wanda,” Bucky greets your roommate, chest heaving and beads of sweat adorning his forehead. “I’m sorry for barging in all of a sudden. Is she..?”
Before he could finish his sentence, Wanda nods, opening the door wider for him to come in. Bucky nods his head as he enters. “She’s in her room,” Wanda mumbles before closing the door behind him. 
Bucky mutters a “thank you” before walking towards your door, about to turn the handle, but hesitates for a second. Slowly taking his hand off the brass knob, he raises a hand and places two soft knocks on the door. “Doll,” he calls, loud enough that he’s sure you hear him, but gentle enough to not startle you. When he doesn’t hear a reply, he continues, “Can I come in?” 
A few seconds later, a soft click from the other side fills his ears. Bucky takes this as a signal to slowly turn the knob and peak inside. He barely caught a glimpse of you walking back to your bed before he sees you pull the covers back to climb in, reassuming the position he figured you were in before you unlocked the door. 
Bucky steps inside and if it wasn’t for him shutting the door behind him, separating the two of you from the noises outside your bedroom, he wouldn’t have heard the sniffles that were coming out of your mouth. Your back was facing him, but he can clearly tell that you were hugging your knees to your chest as you tried to control your breathing, desperately attempting to conceal your cries. 
“Baby…” he breathes, approaching you cautiously and planting himself by your feet. Only then does he catch a glimpse of your face, your eyes puffy and cheeks tinted pink, presumably from crying for an extended period of time. Bucky frowns upon seeing you in this state. He’s seen you cry before, but it was usually from a sad movie or being stressed with homework. He doesn’t know why you are crying now, but he’s determined to find out. He places a hand on one of your calves and begins to rub soothing circles on it. “Did something happen?” 
You shake your head, not trusting your voice as you begin to wipe the tears that were still trickling down your cheeks. “Wanna tell me why you’re crying?” Bucky persists, eyes still fixed on you. You shrug and the room falls silent as you close your eyes.   
Bucky hears you take a deep breath before finally piping up. “Just feeling a little down,” you mumble, voice hoarse and barely loud enough for Bucky to catch. He moves his hand from your calf to one of your feet, giving it a soft squeeze before beginning to slowly press on its sole, easing the tense muscles and giving you a brief moment of peace. 
Bucky tries to think of what to say, but is interrupted by the sound of his phone going off. Clicking his tongue, he grabs his phone to find a text from Pietro.
hey wya? im at the study hall 
Cursing to himself, he suddenly remembers that he and Pietro agreed to meet tonight to work on a project they were partners in. Typing a quick reply to say that he’s on his way, he turns back to you before leaning over to press a kiss on your temple. “We all get blue sometimes, doll. We just gotta hang on, you know?” he attempts to comfort you, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I gotta run, promised Pietro we’d do that project tonight. But I hope you feel better soon, baby. If you need anything, just text me, okay?” 
–––––
You don’t text him at all that night. 
In fact, if it wasn’t for the good morning text Bucky sent the next day, Bucky thinks you wouldn’t have texted him at all. Your replies grew colder and you became more distant, and Bucky was suffering. 
“Dude, what’s up? If you’re not busy being a total grump, you’re staring at your phone like you’re expecting something to pop out of it,” Steve points out as he, Bucky, and Nat sit in the cafeteria to have lunch. Bucky grumbles before slamming his phone face down on the table and sliding it away from him. “It’s (Y/N),” he starts, “she’s been acting off for days now.”
Steve and Nat share a look before Nat pipes up, “Have you tried asking her why?” Bucky scoffs. “Well, duh!” Bucky exclaims, running his hands through his hair. “I went over to her’s last night, but she just told me she was just feeling a little down.”
“And what did you say?” Steve asks. Bucky’s eyes meet his friend’s as he sighs. “I told her everyone gets sad and that we should just hang on. I left after that because I had to do that history project with Maximoff.”
The table falls silent and Bucky begins to zone out, thinking that the conversation would end there, but is quickly brought back to reality when something hits him dead center in the face. “Ow!” Bucky shouts as his hand flies up to cradle his nose. His eyes land on the table, a bread roll laying in front of him, causing his gaze to shoot up at the red head sitting across him. “Did you just throw a bread roll at me?” Bucky asks, his eyes wide with disbelief and confusion. 
“Well, duh!” Nat mocks, rolling her eyes at the brunette. “I always thought football players were dumb because of how much trauma their heads go through every game, but you’re on a whole ‘nother level, Buchanan.”
Bucky blinks. “Care to elaborate?”
Nat lets out an exasperated sigh before Steve butts in, “She’s obviously going through something, Buck. You can’t just tell her to suck it up.”
“Hellooooo!” Nat interjects, waving her hand in front of Bucky’s face as if what they were pointing out was the most obvious thing in the world. “She isn’t some jock going through a losing streak or something, actually be there for her, you know?” 
“Would you cut me some slack? It’s the first serious relationship I’ve been in since highschool, I’m still getting a hang of things again,” Bucky glares. He eyes the bread roll in front of him before giving in and grabbing it to take a bite. Nat watches him, a look of disgust adorning her face. 
The three of them sit in silence as Bucky contemplates on what to do. He picks up his phone to see no new messages from you, but his eyes catch the time. He knows you don’t have classes right now, and he figures you would just be in your dorm. He doesn’t want to ruin things with you, so he jolts up from his seat, catching the attention of the couple in front of him. “I’m gonna fix this,” he mumbles to himself before storming out of the cafeteria to head over to you.
“Atta boy!” Steve calls after him.
Bucky can feel his heart in his throat as he shakily knocks on your front door. To his surprise, you answer the door this time. His mouth starts to form a smile, but quickly turns into a frown when he takes in your form. At first, his heart skipped a beat when he noticed that you were wearing one of his shirts which was too big for you, the hem of it ending just by your thighs, and the bottom of one of his boxers peeking through it. 
But once he caught the way your shoulders were slumped and the dark circles around your eyes, he knew better than to celebrate. “Hey,” he exhales, flashing a sad smile, “can I come in?” 
You nod wordlessly before leaving the door ajar and making your way towards the couch. Bucky steps inside, shutting the door behind him before following suit. He sighs when he sees you on the couch, knees tucked closely to your chest and you watch whatever show is playing on the TV, eyes in an absent daze. 
He takes a seat beside you, draping an arm across the back of the couch only for you to launch yourself towards him like it’s a reflex. You wrap your arms around his waist and bury your face into his chest as he instinctively encases you in an embrace. Bucky’s heart breaks as he hears you rack out a sob, his thumb beginning to rub circles on your shoulder. 
He gently places a kiss on your forehead as he feels his shirt become damp with your tears. “I’m sorry for leaving so soon the last time I was here,” he mumbles, lips still pressed to your temple. 
You don’t answer back right away and Bucky is forced to listen to you cry, his heart shattering after every noise that comes out of your mouth. 
“It’s just a drag,” you say between sniffles, “the world’s so mean.” 
Bucky furrows his eyebrows, not really understanding what you mean, but tries to think of something to say. His conversation with Steve and Nat replay in his mind as he desperately thinks of a reply, determined not to mess things up like last time.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks, testing out the waters. He takes note of your silence and whispers, “Something’s breaking my baby’s heart and I wanna know what.” 
You let out a soft huff. “That’s the problem. I don’t know why I feel so down.”
The room falls silent. Bucky could hear his heartbeat in his ears, he felt his hands grow sweaty, his throat became dry, and his eyes began to prickle as tears started to form. He prays to whoever was listening before he asks. 
“Is it me?” 
“No, god no,” you shoot up, detaching yourself from him much to his dismay. Your eyes wide as he stares back at you with the same expression. Bucky looks down and begins to fiddle with his hands, another nervous tick of his, and you realize why he’s been so persistent about finding out what was making you upset. 
Bucky was afraid that he was the reason you’re in pain. 
You attempt to pacify his thoughts by placing your hands on both sides of his face. Bucky lets out a shaky breath as he leans into one of your hands, peppering it with feather-like kisses. You give him a teary smile. “It’s just that life’s so hard sometimes, you know?” 
Bucky gives you a smile in return, a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes as he stares at you, trying to dig through the deepest parts of his brain to come up with something, anything, that could possibly make you feel better.
But before he could, you remove your hands from his cheeks and place them on your own as you wipe tears that you didn’t even know were flowing down your face. You stand up, causing Bucky to look at you in confusion. “You should go.”
“What? No,” he protests, standing up following you as you begin to walk towards the front door. Bucky’s mind is racing. 
Come on, dumbass, say something. Anything!
He opens his mouth, “Baby–”
“I just need to rest, Buck,” you interrupt, opening the door. “It’s not you, I promise.”
You press a kiss on his cheek as he looks down at you with sad eyes. 
You let out a small smile, “I’ll text you, okay?”
–––––
But you don’t.
You don’t text him even the day after that. 
Bucky’s mind was spinning. He felt absolutely helpless, and if it wasn’t for the harsh sound of a whistle filling his ears, he wouldn’t have snapped out of his daze. 
“Barnes!” the voice of his coach was enough for him to remember that he was in fact in the middle of the football field in the middle of practice. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you lately, but if you can’t pull yourself together then you’re benched for the next game. You hear me?” the coach shouts from across the field. 
Bucky nods absentmindedly before shouting back, “Sorry, coach!” 
He shakes his head, trying to retain focus and deciding to pay you one more visit later. Bucky didn’t know what to do nor say, but he sure isn’t leaving your dorm without mending things. 
He sets those thoughts aside for now, and turns his attention back to his team. 
Bucky figured he had totally zoned out during practice because it was only when Steve sat beside him did he realize that practice was over. “(Y/N) still not feeling okay?” Steve asks, sympathy dripping from his every word as he looks at Bucky whose eyes were going through all of the unanswered texts he sent you today. 
good morning, doll
hope you’re feeling at least a little better today :) 
don’t forget to eat
<33 
just finished my trigonometry exam lol pretty sure i flunked it 
call me if you need anything, okay?
– 
found out parker has a gf lmaooo
i kept denying it til he introduced her to the whole team 
you’d like her :) she’s smart like you 
i miss you
please text me back 
heading to practice 
i miss you so much, doll 
Bucky drops his head in his hands, tears threatening to spill. “I don’t know what to do anymore, Stevie,” he croaks. “I just wanna see her smile again.” 
–––––
He’s met with Wanda again as the door to your dorm swings open. “Is she here?” Bucky stutters, not even bothering to apologize for showing up unannounced. Wanda shakes her head, “No, she’s been gone since last night.”
Bucky’s eyes widen as he swears he almost felt his heart stop at Wanda’s words. His breathing quickens and his chest grows tight as Wanda ushers him into the apartment. “What do you mean she’s been gone since last night? Has she talked to you today?” Wanda shakes her head again, “I’ve been texting her since this morning, but she hasn’t replied to any of it.” 
Bucky runs his hands through his hair as he begins to think about what could’ve happened to you. He starts to make a list of who to call, frantically trying to think of ways to locate you. This was it, he thought. This was how he lost you forever. If he just knew what to say at the right time, if he had just been a good boyfriend to you, this wouldn’t have happened and you wouldn’t be gone. 
He can’t breathe, his mind begins to scramble and his vision turns foggy. Bucky clutches a hand to his chest to try and ground himself, forcing himself to think. 
Think, Barnes, think! 
Just as he was about to dial 911, they hear the sound of keys rattling from the other side of the door causing both his and Wanda’s heads to snap towards its direction. Bucky holds his breath, uttering a dozen prayers in his head, hoping that it was you. 
It’s only when he sees you walk through the door did the tears finally start to flow. He bounds over to you and instantly throws his arms around you, pushing your head towards his chest. Bucky silently thanks whoever granted his prayers as one of his hands fly to rest behind your head before placing a bruising kiss on your forehead. After this, he rests his chin on top of your head and looks up, desperately trying to keep any more tears at bay. 
“I’ve been worried sick, doll, where were you?” he asks, trying to hide the fact that he’s been crying, but the crack in his voice gives it away. “Hmpff mff humff,” he hears you mumble against his chest, drawing a teary chuckle from him as he pulls away. “Sorry, come again?” 
“I went over to my parents to try and cheer myself up, I’m sorry I should’ve told you where I was going, I had my phone off the whole day and—”
“Oh, sweetheart,” Bucky laughs breathlessly, pulling you back into him. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”
He sees Wanda slowly retreat back into her room to give you space. The two of you stand there in silence, holding each other as you relish in the feeling of being in each other’s arms. 
“I don’t know if I’m okay, honestly,” you say, quietly. 
“And that’s perfectly fine, too,” Bucky replies, cradling your face in his hands. “Listen I know I haven’t been dealing with this as best as I could but—”
“No, Bucky–”
“Let me finish, doll. I know I'm still trying to find my footing with all of this, but I want you to know that I'll be here no matter what, okay? When you’re happy, when you’re sad, or even when you don’t know what you’re feeling.”
You smile at him gratefully, resting your hands on top of his. “I don’t know what’s been going on with me recently. I think college is just getting to me or something. It feels like I always wanna find the rain even on a sunny day, you know?” 
Bucky continues to stare into your eyes, sadness glazing over them. You shake your head and begin to pull away, “Forget it, it sounds stupid–”
“Woah hey, no,” Bucky interjects, placing his hands on your hips. “It doesn’t sound stupid. I may not fully understand what you’re feeling, but I’m here, aren’t I?” 
You shake your head. “I really don’t wanna drag you into this, you have so many things on your plate–”
You’re interrupted by Bucky placing his lips on yours, engulfing you in a kiss so passionate, it takes your breath away. 
“But I’m in it for the long run with you,” he mutters against your lips. 
You stumble because for the months you’ve been together, the future never really fell into conversation between the two of you. With your schedules being so hectic, you and Bucky wordlessly settled with just going with the flow, and you were fine with that. But upon hearing the words leave Bucky’s lips, you began to think what this meant. 
Bucky tenderly places his hands back on your cheeks, rubbing them softly in order to soothe you. “If it feels like life is dragging you down, then hang on ‘cause I'll be your bodyguard,” he starts, earning a soft chuckle from you which urges him to continue.  “If you feel like the whole world is a red flag, then I'll be with you to look for the green, and hell, if you wanna find rain on a sunny day then I’ll be there to dance all through the pain with you, doll.” 
Tears start to flow down your face, once again, as you smile. You smile in a way that Bucky hasn’t seen from you for the past few days. He smiles back. 
“But you gotta try to talk to me, okay?” he pipes up, wiping your tears with his thumbs before pressing another kiss on the top of your head. “I know I’m a meathead, but I promise I wanna try to understand what you’re feeling so I can help.” 
You nod against his lips as Bucky lets out a breath. You stay that way for a while, and Bucky was already satisfied with how the conversation turned out, vowing himself not to push you further into talking things out. It isn’t until he hears you mumble the words he’s been longing to tell you for so long that he feels his world come to a halt. 
“I love you.” 
This is the first time these words were uttered between the two of you, and Bucky feels his chest tighten again, but this time, it was due to an overwhelming sense of joy. He pulls you tighter against him before breathing out, “I love you too. So much.”
It was then Bucky realized that he didn’t need to mend things when you’re feeling this way. As much as he’d like to take away the pain, he knew that reminding you that he’ll always be there despite it is, and always will be, enough.  
–––––
A/N: hope you guys liked this one! highly recommend listening to the song itself, cuz it brings me so much comfort and i hope it brings you comfort too! <33
410 notes · View notes
mt-oe · 6 months ago
Note
its finals season (again..) and huge projects for classes right now. can we get a stressed reader x modern mizu where reader is like actually tweaking out? like I mean pulling our energy shots, shivering hands, 'gotta lock in', hysterically crying on snapchat video and sending it to their groupchat for moral support type of tweaking out and the reader is going BANANAS over all the final papers, and studying for finals and mizu helps comfort reader?? i hope this would be a silly little write but also helpful to anyone going through finals season right now. much love! xoxo <3
✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧
Hey dears!
To start this, I am absolutely sorry for being gone for so long. I had my thesis defense, practicals, laboratory works, deadlines, and my finals all in the span of two weeks AND I fainted twice, got sick twice, and nose bled a LOT.
I was chugging 3 cans of energy drinks a day, eating one meal per day, sleeping minutes less than how long I showered, and smoked quite a lot. Someone even caught me sleeping on the fire exit stairs (istg so embarrassing ;;). Honestly makes me wonder how I'm not six feet under by now.
To those who are going through their finals, please don't follow my lead. Vomiting at 3am from how dizzy you are while some Sepultura song plays in the background is NOT the experience you'd think it was. Try to plan when you'll tackle your work and get some sleep as much as you can, on your free time, on your commute. I swear, answering tests are SOO much easier when your vision isn't spinning or tunneling.
Chose to do this request first to remind you all to take care amidst your finals (or as a reward if your finals are finished, good job dear!).
Hope you enjoy! Mwa mwa <3
warning: not proofread, my corny jokes, she/her for mizu, implied afab reader
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Blue orbs watched as you cracked open another can of Red Bull. A small grunt leaving your throat as the fizzy caffeinated drink went down your esophagus. Was this your second? third..no wait..fourth?
Damn.
How are your blood vessels surviving this onslaught of caffeine you've been shoving down your system? She had no clue. But what she did know was that you've had enough. This wasn't healthy at all. Your lips were already as pale as the palms of your hands which were trembling to the point where you couldn't stop writing because that meant you'd feel the quivering of your hands even more.
The two of you had decided to slave off at Mizu's apartment for your finals. It was mostly Mizu dragging you there since your friends have been bombarding her to take care of you since she had the closest to what was considered a free schedule. T'was something about you freaking out and crying over the finals. She didn't have a Snapchat account so she didn't know.
Usually, she wasn't even interested in these stuff, but when Akemi showed her a picture of you with a thumbs up, holding a can of Monster, dark circles under your bloodshot eyes, tear streaks on your face, with the caption 'Boutta pull another Kay Chung tonight', concerned didn't even begin to describe what she felt.
Boutta pull a Kay Chung?
What or who was this Kay Chung anyway?
She knew you were a hard worker, probably one of the most studious people she knew, so she already expected you to be busy studying. What she didn't expect was the mess you were in.
The moment she stepped into your unit, cans of energy drinks, bottles of energy shots, cups of coffee, and random paper strewn randomly littered your apartment. The only source of light was your window and a small dim lamp you had.
Was that cup noodle container growing mold?
Ew.
It was like the Capital Wasteland in here, and she was the lonesome wanderer, awaiting the dangers to come.
And you were a radiated ghoul hunched over your desk with the emptiest gaze she has ever seen. Your head in your hands, as you scrunched your eyebrows together, trying to figure out what the fuck was wrong with your equation.
Now she understood the bombardment of messages from Akemi and the others, and damn was she grateful for the heads up because you looked like you were at death's door and death... Death just thought you looked too pitiful to let in.
The two of you were now sitting on Mizu's carpet, books, papers, and gadgets on the smooth wood of the coffee table. In her mind, she thought a bit of companionship would comfort you like it usually did. But she was wrong.
The shaking grip you had on your pen and the occasional 'what the actual fuck?' or 'the hell?' already told her that you were too locked in to relax even just a bit. You looked like you were losing it.
Her eyes peered over your review sheet before she raised an eyebrow at how scattered your handwriting looked, numbers and symbols italicized to the left and to the right as if they were dancing and your solutions scattered. Add this value here..derive the formula there..problem 3's solution is somehow on the back of the paper even though problem 5 was solved on problem 1's spot. It looked like a shit show.
"What...problem is this for? You did it wrong." Her tongue clicking as a slender finger encircled a formula you derived wrong, making you look at her with a mildly bothered look. Your eyes tiredly scanned your review sheet, looking away to the side to blink the heaviness of your lids away, then looking back at it before letting out a strangled sounding groan, shoulders slumping back onto the sofa as you covered your eyes with your hands before looking at your own solutions again. "I don't fucking know..maybe it's for..umm..for..fuuuuuck," you sighed defeatedly, realizing that you couldn't understand your own handwriting either.
You wanted to strangle yourself so bad right now or like, strangle your professor until they give you a passing grade. Maybe the threat of arson would scare the university admins into passing everyone for the semester???? The prospect of being a sugar baby is starting to sound better than trying to finish this degree.
It wasn't like you were an absolute idiot. You could solve these problems no problemo. However, your vision was already lagging and tunneling. Whenever you tried to read the problem or your own handwriting, it was like your vision was hyper-focusing on one spot and the areas around it were...spinning or it'd focus on everything else EXCEPT the ones you wanted to focus on.
The amount of caffeine you had consumed wasn't even helping anymore. Instead of waking you up, you just felt jittery like a hyper-charged toy. Before you were sleepy and slow, now you were still sleepy but faster.
And when was the last time you even ate anyway? Was that moldy cup noodle your last meal? You didn't even know anymore at this point. You could barely feel anything aside from the fear of your impeding academic doom. Not even hunger was strong enough to stop you.
Mizu's eyebrows furrowed at how miserable you looked before sighing and pulling a sheet of paper out of her own notebook. "Here," she sighed out, sitting beside you and scanning each problem you had printed out before re-writing each question you looked like you struggled with. Her eyes occasionally glanced at you, unseen worry rising with every hitch of your breath and every twitch of your eyebrow as you looked at the questions she rewrote.
"Mizu..I don't want to do those all again," you groaned frustratedly, ruffling your hair own hair aggressively, strands falling to the carpet below. A hand held yours firmly, preventing you from tangling the ends of locks even more. "I'm going to teach you, dumbass. We can't have you failing and dying at the same time," she huffed, grabbing your calculator and placing it in front of both of you. She leaned closer to you, hand on your waist to pull you closer before taking the pencil and pointing to the first problem she rewrote.
"I'm not going to repeat my explanations, so listen well,"
...was what she said.
However, Mizu was a big softie when it came to you. Every time she caught you spacing out or having a hard time in general, she took her time and explained it to you again, even explaining it slower, simpler, or more detailed as needed. She really made sure that you understood the principle of the problems and the process of solving them, handing the pencil and calculator to you to make sure you actually understood her.
After a while, you were slowly starting to understand you earlier mistakes, and with her help, you were able to finally solve the review sheet. Thank god for hot smart women.
A look of amusement crossed her face as she watched you slump back onto the sofa with a loud sigh of relief. Shaking her head with a small lop-sided smile, she took the pen again before grabbing your laptop and searching for similar problems. "Here," she said, turning the device towards you. "Solve these. I'll be back in a bit."
You looked at her in confusion before letting out a tired groan. The exhaustion was starting to let itself be known through the heaviness in your lids. Another problem set was the last thing you wanted to do right now.
Oh wait.
Fuck, you still had to edit your methodologies and results, and you haven't even started on the discussion yet. Oh god...
'Better get started, I guess,' you thought with a defeated sigh. Muttering a string of curses under your breath, you picked up your pencil and calculator and began solving yet another set of hellish questions while the dark-haired woman stood up and walked off somewhere in her apartment. Silence filled the room aside from the aggressive scritching and scratching of lead against paper and the sound of clacking from your calculator.
Every now and then, Mizu would come back with something to comfort you. May it be a cup of water, a bigger pillow, a hair tie, or to charge your phone for you. She didn't really speak though, fully wanting you to focus on your work.
It was like her quiet little way of telling you that she was here and that she cared for you.
Amidst your problem solving, the smell of something being fried hit your nose, making you look up. It was a bit oily, but at the same time, homely and savory. Your stomach growled slightly at the smell, reminding you of that uncomfortable feeling of hunger that you were somehow able to ignore during your study sessions.
Just as you had finished writing your answers, Mizu came out of the kitchen with a bowl of rice and a plate of what seemed to be fried fish. Kinda burnt but maybe that's a charm point...or something. At least she tried.
She set it down on a clear space on the coffee table and gently urged it towards you. "Here," she mumbled, looking at you expectantly. You stared at the food she prepared, snorting a bit at the charred skin, some bits missing which obviously stuck to the pan while she was frying it. "Err..Mizu...?"
"Don't mind how it looks just..just eat, okay?" she groaned, sounding a bit embarrassed, a bit of pink dusting her cheeks. Her eyes looking away as her hand went up to cover half her face. You couldn't help but laugh a bit. Mizu? Embarrassed? God that woke you up, didn't it?
The sound of your laughter made her feel even more embarrassed but at the same time relieved. Your laugh was so fucking cute. She was glad that you were starting to sound a bit more like your usual self. Hell, you were smiling now. A big improvement compared to the face of misery you were making earlier.
Eventually, your laughter subsided upon the realization sinking into you. She really did all this just to take of you. Dragging you to her apartment, tutoring you, fetching things for you, cooking for you...
She really does care. Doesn't she?
Your hands picked up the chopsticks before breaking into the soft flesh of the food in front of you, picking off the bones before taking a bite. It was salty, the char even made it a bit bitter, and for god-knows-why, even a bit spicy?? But it tasted so good to you. Heavenly, dare I say.
As you continued to eat, bite after bite and scoop after scoop, the shakiness in your hands slowly calmed down. You couldn't help but look up at your friend who was now checking your answers, the ghost of satisfaction making itself known through the barely visible smile she had. "Mizu..."
She looked over at you, raising an eyebrow to indicate that she was listening. "Thank you for uh..taking care of me," you said shyly, giving her a small smile. A low chuckle escaped her throat as she shook her head slowly as if in amusement. "At least you're not shaking like a leaf anymore," she joked, followed by you letting out a small 'hmph!', making her chuckle yet again.
Though she wouldn't tell it to you right now, she'd be more than happy to take care of you anytime you wanted or needed it.
The sound of your pen tapping on the paper filled the room again as her eyes narrowed at your answers, checking it carefully. After a while, she handed the paper back to you, looking very much satisfied. "Looks good," she said, eyes watching the proud smile on your face. "How 'bout a reward?...Some rest I suppose?"
Your smile faltered at the sound of rest. "I can't...my manuscript is due in a couple of days and I haven't even finished editing my methodologies and results," you explained, opening the files for each of your chapters. "The data isn't even tabulated in the required format. It looks like shit."
She stood up from her spot and sat next to you, placing a hand on your head to pat it gently as she looked at the screen. Her eyes narrowed again while you scrolled up the file for her before she sighed. "Yeah, it does look like shit," she agreed before suddenly grabbing your laptop and setting in front of her. "Go and take a nap or something. I'll do whatever I can to...whatever this is."
"But Mizu, this isn't even your field. I can't—" She cut you off with a finger to your lips before gesturing towards the sofa behind the both of you. "Nap," she ordered firmly. You sighed before standing up and laying down on the sofa. You knew there was no use arguing. When Mizu makes up her mind, she's deadset on it.
Her eyes scanned your figure for a moment, taking in every curve of your body and the way your face relaxed. Then, she took off her jacket and draped it over you, before giving you a small loving pat. Before you could even open your mouth to protest, she immediately shushed you and turned to your manuscript, scanning over it.
Your eyes observed the way her eyebrows furrowed and the way her eyes darted from word-to-word. The sound of her typing and clicking filling the room, oddly relaxing you.
It didn't take long for you to drift off to sleep. And for the first time since hell week started, you finally relaxed.
No frustration, no stress, just...sleep.
You did nap for hours longer than expected though.
Don't worry.
Your methodologies were now updated, results properly formatted, and ideas in bullet points for your discussion were laid out in a new file. Even your references were fixed.
Damn, you really wanted to smooch Mizu reaaal hard after this.
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jaegeraether · 1 year ago
Text
Sunsets and footballers (Part 3)
Lucy Bronze x Reader (3)
Masterlist (other parts here)
Jordan had a big smile on her face when she saw YFN. She pulled over at the front of her hotel and put the window down.
“Allo mate, need a lift?”
“I don’t have any money, sorry.”
Jordan opened her mouth in an amused and fake offended ‘O’. “You’re takin’ the mick.”
YFN laughed and slid into the passenger seat. “Do you charge by the hour or…?”
Jordan laughed loudly and slapped her arm. “Too expensive for you, mate.”
She began driving. YFN loved seeing this side of Jordan. The side that seemed much more natural, and much more of the Jordan that Lucy was describing last night.
“Wherrrrrre are we going?”
“I was thinking coffee and then shopping? Also, I’m assuming you don’t have any football gear to wear to the game tomorrow?”
“Hm, you are correct there.”
“Oh, Lucy is going to love seeing you in a Bronze jersey.”
YFN blushed and looked over, surprised.
“What? She loves seeing people in her jersey. Plus, you don’t know anybody else on the team, do you?”
“That’s a negative, and what number is she?”
“2.”
“Oh, my favourite. Okay, let’s get a Bronze jersey. Should we get the home or away kit?”
Jordan laughed. “Wow, look at you! Someone’s been doing their research!”
YFN grinned. “I love blue but the internet says something about it being a bad luck kit…?”
“Oh poppycock. Blue would be perfect with your eyes.”
YFN laughed. “Oh, and I also want an Australian flag.”
Although they only planned on a few hours, the two spent all day together. The atmosphere was great, they both bantered like they’d known each other for years. They wandered around town with iced drinks, stopped for breakfast, then lunch, and Jordan even taught her how to kick a soccer ball on an empty pitch, as well as teaching her some rules. YFN did try to incorporate some tackles to which Jordan gave her red cards for. They collected some free merchandise for the game from people in the club who Jordan knew and managed to find an Australian flag also. The day was fantastic, and of course they ended it on the beach with some fish and chips, Jordan making YFN try it with curry sauce. It confused the hell out of her, but she admitted it was decent.
The next day Jordan picked up YFN again early and they went for lunch. They had decided the day before that they wanted to catch up earlier before they headed to the game. At lunch, Jordan asked YFN about her job and what she did. She was a writer and loved to write fantasy. She’d been working for a newspaper before she left and had a very popular daily column with a lot of fans, but she left because she lost her passion for it. And so, she decided to travel to gain inspiration and get back into writing fantasy with the hope of publishing and travelling the world. Jordan was wowed by this and admitted to wishing she had the creativity for it. About five minutes later though, it seemed she had completely forgotten the conversation though, and had to ask again. YFN laughed, this had happened a few times with her the day before and so she lovingly gave Jordan the nickname ‘Dory’.
The seats for the game were in the perfect spot, just adjacent to where the team benches were. The two were dressed up, laughing at their awkwardness as they made their way down to their seats with arms of popcorn, hotdogs, and drinks. They reached their seats and were greeted by a loud man and his adorable family. YFN didn’t need a degree to figure out who it was. Jordan introduced him as Jorge Bronze, Lucy’s big brother, and his family. He gave Jordan a hug and kiss, and she picked up the kids and gave them kisses also. Jorge dragged YFN into a strong hug they took their seats next to them. It felt like a huge family affair and made YFNs heart swell with happiness. Her family life was not so joyful, and so this was a happy change. A few other friends came over to say hi to Jordan and she introduced them to YFN. They were friends, other football players, or partners of friends.
Shortly before the game, the teams ran out onto the field to warm up. The crowd seemed to yell extra loudly as Lucy came out onto the field, Jorge was the loudest of all. One kid in his arm and a drink in the other, he yelled at the top of his lungs “LUCYLUCY. LUCYLUCY.” Many people were yelling it like a chant, and Jorge recorded it for his social media. YFN couldn’t keep her eyes off of Lucy. She oozed confidence. Her dark hair was up in a messy bun, and she looked a bit different without her glasses, but a good different. YFN bit her lip, thinking her football gear was a welcome sight. She couldn’t help but see the muscles through her clothes, particularly the thigh muscles when she walked. Lucy jogged around without a care, chewing gum and laughing with her teammates. At one point in time, she even sat on a football and just watched as the others warmed up.
“Hey Dory, what’s she doing?” YFN asked Jordan.
Jordan leaned into YFN to yell over the crowd. “Who? Lucy? Oh, her knee is really bad. Like really, really bad. She’s had a lot of surgeries and she’s always in pain. She just tries to keep off it before and after games really.”
As if Lucy had heard them, she looked up and caught sight of her group. Her eyes wandered along her family who were crazily waving until she reached Jordan and YFN. She grinned when she saw YFN wearing her jersey with that little dimpled smile on her face. It suited her, she thought. Being in the crowd with her family and friends, wearing a Bronze jersey, and holding an Australian flag with pride. She and Jordan had painted the flag on their cheeks also, fully supporting their friend. Lucy wanted nothing more than to walk over and talk to them, but she knew she was supposed to be warming up. She settled for a big childish wave and re-joined her team.
Ten minutes later they left the field, Lucy waving at her section and grinning from ear to ear as she left. Soon enough after, the crowd roared as the teams entered the stadium, holding hands with their mascots. Lucy was last in line, swinging arms with her little mascot. They stood for the national anthems and after a quick team photo, the game was underway. YFN couldn’t tell if she was just biased, but it was pretty obvious to her that Lucy was the most intelligent on the field. When she didn’t see an opening she liked, she passed the ball back to the defender next to her who Jordan said was “Millie Bright – acting Captain.” She pushed up the field hard during the first half of the game, and very nearly scoring on several occasions.
“Wow, Lucy is ON FIRE today! LUCYLUCY!” Jorge shouted. “THAT’S MY SISTER!”
“I haven’t seen her play this good is a while!” Jordan shouted in YFN’s ear.
A long shot came towards the goal and Lucy was sprinting from nowhere, her speed was incredible. She leapt, heading the ball and the goalkeeper tipped it. The ball hit the crossbar and bounced back into play. One of Lucy’s teammates were in the perfect position for the rebound and struck the ball, side-netting it. The crowd groaned loudly.
“COME ON LESS!” Jordan yelled encouragingly.
“COME ON RUSSO! WHY IS LUCY OUR BEST STRIKER!” A yell came from behind them in the crowd.
YFN was confused. Jordan saw her confusion. “Lucy is a defender, not a striker. Not even a midfielder. She shouldn’t be the most dangerous striker for us today but she’s just playing so well. The other girls aren’t doing well enough to be honest.”
That made sense to her. Lucy was compensating for her team. All of her discussions with Jordan the day before about Lucy being overly competitive and not liking to lose were becoming more obvious. YFN loved it and joined in on the shouting for England’s number 2.
The whistle blew to signal half time and the scores were still 0-0. During the break the pair took Lucy’s niece and nephew up to the bathroom and brought back more snacks for the Bronze family. They settled back down when YFN noticed that Jordan was tense and uncomfortably shifting.
“What’s the matter?” YFN asked.
Jordan leant over to talk in her ear, not loud enough that anyone else would hear it. “My ex is here. A few rows behind us. She waved at me.”
YFN pulled back with wide, worried eyes. “Oh Jordan, are you okay?”
“I don’t know. We’re still friends and I think she’s a lovely person, but I just feel so uncomfortable right now. She going to want to try and speak to me after this.”
“And you don’t want to?”
“She going to try and speak to me like everything’s normal when it’s not. I don’t think I have the capacity.”
YFN put her arm around Jordan and pulled her close. “You need to tell her that you need space. Because right now, even though you’re replying the bare minimum to her, it’s still coming across like you’re okay to casually chat to her when you know you need your space to heal.”
“You’re right.” She groaned. “I just don’t want to come across nasty at all. She’s such a good person.”
“Protect yourself first. Heal a bit. And only then can you try to have normal conversations with her, hm?”
The teams came back out then, and the second half began. Jordan’s mood picked up as she was lost again in the screaming, but unlike YFN, she was yelling their names.
Lucy played even better the second half, giving so many chances to her teammates to score. She went down, hard at one point, literally tumbling over like a gymnast and the crowd seemed to think this was normal.
“NEVER A GOOD GAME UNLESS LUCY IS FLYING!”
“LUCIA!”
“LUCYLUCY!”
“BRONZEYYYYY!”
She got back up and jogged back over to her spot a bit stiffly. YFN was in awe of her resilience. Eventually the 90 minutes were up and they were given +2 minutes. Just when all seemed like it was about to be over, Lucy scored. And it was beautiful. Just like last time she came sprinting from absolutely nowhere however this time she volleyed the ball into the net, hard. So hard the net must have broken. The stadium erupted, they all leapt to their feet screaming at the top of their lungs. Jordan and YFN grabbed each other, jumping up and down. Popcorn flew all around. Lucy was bombarded by her teammates leaping onto her. Looking up at the big screen, YFN could better see the massive grin spread across her face. Of course she scored.
“GOAL FOR ENGLAND NUMBER 2, LUCY BRONZE!”
The stadium erupted again.
Play resumed for the last 20 seconds, and the whistle ended the match to a stadium still cheering for Lucy.
Jorge was again filming on his phone, kid in one arm and phone in the other. “AW TOO BAD SO SAD.” He cackled as he filmed the other team. YFN laughed at the absurdity of it. She looked around at the packed stadium. It was all insane.
“AND YOUR PLAYER OF THE MATCH IS… LUCY BRONZE!”
Lucy received even more yelling and applauses. She shook hands with both teams and then was dragged into an interview on the pitch while her teammates signed autographs and gave out some of their match worn gear to the crowd. When Lucy finished the interview, she immediately hobbled over to her section and jumped up to lean over the barriers. Jorge and her family got to her first and pulled her into big hugs and kisses. They took some selfies and then Lucy moved over to grab Jordan into an all-encompassing hug.
“I’m so proud of you.” Jordan cried, tears welling. Lucy grinned and pulled back, looking at YFN and opening her arms cheekily. YFN laughed and wrapped her arms around her in a tight, warm hug. Of course, Lucy’s hugs were amazing.
“I’m sorry, I probably don’t smell the best right now.”
“You smell like success to me.” YFN kept holding tight for as long as Lucy was, though Lucy was doing the same. They both gave up eventually so as to not give any wrong impressions to photographers or the crowd around them.
“Nice jersey. Would you like me to sign it?”
“Depends, how much would it be worth?”
Lucy rolled her eyes and took a sharpie from her brother. She shifted YFN’s hair back gently to sign her jersey over her collarbone. She couldn’t help but notice YFNs perfume. The same perfume that was on her hoody when she had given it back a few days before. A shiver went up her spine as she tried to focus on writing neatly.
“Mine too please!” Jordan quipped. Lucy signed her jersey also.
“Oh, and this please!” YFN held up her Australian flag. Lucy grinned, rolling her eyes again and signed her flag. YFN couldn’t help but stare at her, the big grin taking over her face, her hair curling at the sides where she’d been sweating, and those big green eyes. They locked eyes for a moment but both broke contact almost immediately as it affected them both so intensely. No way would they be able to keep it normal in front of so many people. They felt each other shiver and saw each other smile. Nobody seemed to notice.
“I hear there’s a dinner party tonight!” Jorge almost yelled.
“Ohhhh yeah. Family and friends. I told them you’d all be there. You’re all coming, right?” She looked at Jordan a little worried, presumably because her ex would be there.
Jordan looked at YFN. “Stuff it. Yeah, we’ll be there.”
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Note
I haven't seen it yet but full hc for the m6 with an MC on the ADHD spectrum
The Arcana HCs: M6 with an MC who has ADHD
~ @themushroomgoesyeet hope you like these! I'm writing half from personal experience, half from what I've read and heard. Please let me know if there's anything that need correcting! ~
Julian
ADHD is a less familiar subject for him, if only because his areas of specialty so far have been contagious diseases and battle wounds
He's also not really one to judge you for difficulty keeping a sleep schedule, self-medicating with caffeine, or spending days on end obsessively learning everything you can about a specific subject
What's abundantly clear to him, though, is that you do not deserve to live with the guilt that comes from your own brain hijacking every commitment and interest that it doesn't prioritize
He knows what it's like to feel guilty for something that wasn't your fault, and he doesn't like seeing you live with it
The way he sees it, he's even more to blame for his shortcomings than you are, because you're actively working against your own brain and he's just ... sad (you'll have to tell him that this is not true)
This is going to become one of those shared challenges you tackle together as a couple
He'll write down all the bad effects of too much caffeine to motivate him to reduce your combined intake
You remind him to go to bed with you at a decent hour and call it "poetry time" instead of "bedtime" to trick both of your brains into not thinking of it as the end of the day
Asra
They love you. They love you so much. They never, ever want to get in the way of your preferences and vision
He enables you maaaybe a little more than he should
Staying up late is a great idea! Spending the entire day on your current fixation with no break to go outside or talk to people? Hey, don't let them ruin your fun ~
Thankfully, he cares about you far too much to leave you to engage in anything genuinely self destructive
Once the amount of caffeine you've consumed goes from "inadvisable" to "concerning," once your sleep schedule goes from "not ideal" to "dysfunctional", they'll step in in the gentlest way
Another cup of coffee? Let him get you some soothing tea. Another all-nighter? Snuggle him first, let him help you meditate a bit and see if you don't get drowsy
Nobody can combat executive dysfunction like this magician
All it takes is them feeling the slowly building dread through your bond, and they're lovingly poofing you off of the couch/floor/counter and into a very ticklish hug
His lifestyle is heavily ADHD coded as it is. He remains completely unfazed by the roller coaster that your brain can be
Nadia
To her, you are the best possible version of her opposite
She has a hard time changing between trains of thought. You reboot yours every time you walk through a door!
She sometimes forgets to slow down and appreciate the small things in favor of the bigger picture. You, on the other hand, are constantly pausing to notice them
And don't get her started on how much she admires your capacity to learn so much specialized knowledge in such a short period of time. It's truly astonishing and she adores it
However, she can tell that leaving it unchecked and untreated will make it difficult for you to function in the Palace's normal setup, much less follow regular routines
Quick to find a specialist in your condition and set up a few sessions with them, coming up with ways to work with your diagnoses and exploring medication options that you like
Insanely good at helping you keep your mind on track and regulate your attention and focus levels, even when it means pulling you away from a task that's about to eat up half your day
Likes to idly study the chaotic way you manage your personal spaces and try to figure out what the method to the madness is
Muriel
What, you think he's not used to living with a chaotic being that'll start three projects in a row before randomly walking out and not reappearing for several hours? Please.
Truthfully, there are some small things that annoy him. He likes predictability, and your base state of functioning is taking the next random tangent. That's not easy to not worry about
However, he knows that living with him takes plenty of patience as well. As long as you two can be patient with each other's quirks, and respectful when you lovingly intervene, that's what matters
He still loves hearing you ramble
He likes watching your eyes light up, listening to the excited lilt of your voice as you infodump all the new specialized knowledge you've gobbled up
That aside, he does love learning. Each of your new fixations is a new field of education for him by proxy
He's also someone who thrives on habit and routine and isn't afraid to put his foot down when your wellbeing is involved
He will scoop you up in his arms and lovingly carry you to bed when the bags under your eyes get too prominent and you start to nod off mid-sentence
Portia
Portia looks at you like you hung the moon. Portia thinks that every magical thing you do is mind-blowingly amazing. Portia assumes that all of your little quirks and non-habits are just you being you
Hey, if finding one specific food and eating it and only it for days on end is something you want to do, cool! Maybe it's secretly satisfying some magician's craving!
You're going to think about one thing and one thing only and learn everything there is to know about that thing? That's some badass scholarly behavior right there.
Well - except for the part where you forget something exists as soon as it's not in your hand anymore, or where time really does seem like a social construct, or where you somehow get physically and mentally stuck in one spot without being able to move
That looks ... miserable
Nobody can manage chaos like she can. She'll help you snap out of it, she'll remind you to eat and sleep and take your meds, she'll regularly ask when last you went outside or took a bath
And when you mess up - when you miss an event, or fall behind schedule, or leave things to pile up until they're too much - she'll be right next to you with an encouraging smile and plenty of grace
Lucio
This works either really well or really poorly, depending on the day, how he's doing, how you're doing, what you're both supposed to be doing, what the weather's like ...
It's unpredictable, but that's the fun of it!
Much of the time, your strong points support each other. There are few feelings Lucio hates more than boredom, but with a brain like yours around, there's always something new to try or think about
Few things cause the kind of bone-deep discouragement and guilt that constantly missing things does, but nobody values the importance of trying again like he does
On the other hand, sometimes you accidentally enable each other
Lucio's still learning the self-regulation involved with choosing to do something unpleasant and important over doing something enjoyable and completely useless
And if your brain decides that said pleasant thing is the only thing it's going to function for, well, not getting sidetracked is almost impossible. Good luck to you both
Thankfully, you both have a lifestyle that allows for unusual schedules and working styles. As long as you have each other to keep trying growing, you'll never get stuck for long
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helpimstuckposting · 1 year ago
Text
Okay this ones a bit sillier, I'm just a hostage writing their banter into existence. There is no stranger things without silly banter, and I am just a mere mortal passing the message, bound by the laws of this world. Still sad tho, can't forget that.
I’m a ghost and you are a shadow
Part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | part eight | part nine | part ten | part eleven
From his huddle on the floor, Steve felt more hands on his shoulders and his back, felt more arms wrap so tightly around him and he’d never felt more secure in his life. His cheeks hurt and the muscles in his neck pulled uncomfortably around the lump in his throat, his clothes were days old and covered in dirt from the woods outside, and he had no idea what was going on but his arms were full of Robin and he could feel Dustin clinging to his side, and Nancy carding her fingers through his hair. El and Max were crying, everyone was crying, but Steve couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this happy.
He was so scared, so scared, that when he let go it would all be gone. He knew he wouldn’t be able to handle it, this time.
He felt Nancy step back, the warmth from just above his shoulder gone and he panicked, tearing his damp eyes away from the crook of Robin’s neck to look up. She was still there, smiling with tears in her eyes and she looked so young all of a sudden, Steve could imagine her face aglow with the rainbow lights of the Upside Down Lite Brite, excitement in her eyes like a child waking up on Christmas to find everything she ever hoped for under the tree.
“I’m gonna get the first aid kit,” she whispered, shuffling into the hallway. Always the responsible one.
Robin and the kids finally pulled away, helping him to his feet, and they hadn’t disappeared. A weight in his chest lifted slightly, the unsurety of it all still pressing down but one piece had been relieved. They weren’t going to disappear on him.
They made their way from the kitchen into the livingroom, sitting Steve down on the once pristine white couch. It was now a dull eggshell, years of wear sinking the cushions in and making it more comfortable than he ever remembered. His parents would flip if they saw it. Not that he ever wanted them to come back.
Nancy entered the room with a small white tackle box, sitting down opposite Steve and Robin on the coffee table in front of them. He glanced to his side and noticed a smudge of blood on Robin’s cheek, the one she’d had pressed into his neck. She didn’t have a cut on her face and for a brief moment he wondered where the blood came from until Nancy pressed a wet cotton ball into Steve’s neck. He remembered the knife Eddie had held to his throat, the sharp movement he made when the party burst through the door earlier. The blade must have sliced him and he hadn’t even noticed.
The party was quiet as Nancy patched him up. For some reason, Eddie was nowhere to be seen. He seemed like the most suspicious out of everyone and Steve couldn’t figure out why, but right now there were clearly more pressing matters at hand.
Steve looked around the room at the faces he never thought he’d see again, in the house that was definitely different than his own in the slightest of ways, but more lived in, more comfortable. Full of pictures he’d never taken, but he was clearly present for somehow.
“What…,” he started to ask, throat scratchy, not really sure how to begin. Nancy put away the gauze and tape, closing the tackle box with a quiet click. Everything from the morning flicked through Steves mind and though most of it was hazy, he tried his best to piece it all together. This clearly wasn’t a dream, and it didn’t seem anything like Max had described Vecna’s mind powers to be.
“What’s the date?” He finally asked.
Dustin squinted at him. Okay, maybe Eddie wasn’t the only suspicious one. “It’s May 8th, 1990,” he replied, “It’s been six months since you died.”
Died. There it was again. But the date was correct, Steve remembered that much.
“Listen. I know this sounds… crazy, but-,”
“Crazier than a girl with superpowers and a hell dimension?” Dustin cut in. Steve blinked up at him. He hated when he was at a lower eye level than the kid, made him feel smaller like somehow Dustin was the adult in the situation. The tone didn’t help either. Steve missed it so much.
“Okay, fair.” He started again, trying to gain his bearings and make sense of the situation, put it into words that they’d understand. “You keep saying I died, but for me… I remember you guys dying.” He glanced at them all again. They were watching him with varying levels of confusion, Nancy’s lips were pursed and Max’s were, too, in a similar way.
“The last time we fought Vecna, a few of us barely made it out alive. It’s been… it’s been years since I last saw you guys.”
They were quiet. He watched as they flicked their eyes back and forth between each other. He felt like an outsider once more, like they were speaking a language he didn’t quite know yet, like he was back in the Byer’s living room while Jonathan and Nancy tried to get him to leave. Before everything fell apart.
“All of us?” Max finally spoke, asking the question they were clearly communicating between all of them.
“Not… not all of you. But, Will and El… Dustin, Max… Robbie,” he looked at all of them as he said their names. “The rest of the kids moved away with their families, Eddie left when Wayne died. I’ve been..,” he paused for a breath. They were all still so quiet, letting him finish, though he took a bit to stumble through the words, “I’ve been alone for years. The Hawkins I know is a ghost town and I have no idea how I got here.”
No one really spoke, they just kept looking at each other. Steve glanced back between each of them, feeling like he was failing some sort of test he never studied for. He always hated silence, lived with it so long it became loud and overbearing. He didn’t want it to be so quiet when he was surrounded by people.
“I don’t think I’m your Steve,” he finished, just for one more thing to say, one more break in the quiet.
“Parallel universes,” Dustin muttered to himself. He seemed almost… excited? Like there was a new code he cracked or a gadget he could take apart.
Nancy and Max just squinted at him, the former glancing back to Steve out of the corner of her eye, assessing. She always stayed quiet until she’d figured out the next move, calculated all the variables in her head before saying them out loud. Dustin seemed impatient, rolling his eyes to the heavens and back down again.
“Like The Dark Tower?” he tried, groaning when met with more silence. “Stephen King?” Steve briefly wondered if Dustin ever got tired of acting like he knew more than everyone in the room. The kid needed a reality check in Steve’s opinion, but unfortunately for him, Dustin usually did know more than Steve.
“You know how The Upside Down is like a copy of Hawkins?” Dustin tried again, and the crew nodded back. “Well that’s like our world folded over on itself, it’s an extension and not a separate entity.” He held his hands like two Cs, miming a piece of paper being folded in on itself. “But a parallel universe is like a completely separate world.”
Dustin suddenly clapped his hands together. Steve flinched at the sharp noise, but Dustin didn't seem to notice, separating his hands by just a centimeter and keeping them held out in front of him. “It’s an alternate dimension that runs parallel to ours, with just slight differences leading to separate outcomes.”
“Like Narnia?” Steve asked. Robin let out a soft ‘ohhhh’ and pointed at him. Dustin groaned and his whole body seemed to sag in a parental-like disappointment.
“No, Steve, not like Narnia!”
“I don’t know, it sounds kind of like Narnia,” Robin said.
“Yeah, Narnia was a separate world,” Steve nodded at her.
“Enough about Narnia! It’s not like Narnia!”
“Seems like Narnia,” Robin muttered, but Dustin ignored her and powered through, though El was giggling to herself and that seemed like a win in Steve's book.
“Narnia is an alternate universe that’s completely different than ours. I’m talking about the same world with the same people, but certain decisions cause a split that leaves the world slightly different than the next one. We’re all fundamentally the same, but some of our experiences might be different! For instance, our fights with Vecna turned out different results. Okay? Do you get it now?”
Max rolled her eyes “Don’t have a conniption, you’re not the only person in the room with brain cells, you know.”
"Okay, let's just..," Nancy began, holding her hands up placatingly, "Let's take a breath and pretend Dustin is right, that this is some kind of parallel universe."
"I am right," Dustin muttered to himself, though no one paid him any attention, all eyes focused now on Nancy.
“If Steve is from a parallel universe, then… how did he get here?” she asked. Eyes turned from Nancy to Steve again, and Steve did his best not to cower under the microscope. Carol had taught him to hide his emotions, keep calm and collected, ‘people will respect you more, Steve, just look like you don’t care’. He stared back at them.
“I just… I remember waking up in the woods-,”
“What were you doing in the woods?” Max interjected.
“I… it doesn’t matter. I took a nap and woke up in the backyard, that’s it,” he lied. He didn’t want to delve into his traumas now. Though these people looked like his family, they hadn’t gone through the same thing he did. They didn’t know him the way they should. He could tell them later, if he needed to, but not right now. Robin still looked at him like she knew, though, still seemed to be able to read his mind, ‘I’ve got two brain cells, Stevie, and one of them is yours.’
He sighed as the crew all looked at each other again, resigned to remaining on the outside of this team that wore faces he’d longed to see again. He wasn’t their Steve, and they weren’t his family. They had codes all their own, glances that meant something he couldn’t translate, memories he wasn’t a part of. Steve Harrington was always meant to be alone.
“Wait,” Robin broke the silence. Steve watched as he could see the gears turning in her head, it reminded him of the look she got seconds before cracking the Russian code at Starcourt. “Wasn’t there a gate near your backyard already? From Barb?”
Steve blinked at her. Parallel universe or not, it seemed some events stayed the same.
Nancy filled in Robin’s train of thought, bouncing to the next. “Like you somehow came from the old gate?”
“Did you know that keeping scars healed is a continuous process?” Robin’s train of thought bounced again, seemingly out of nowhere. “The body needs to constantly focus attention on keeping the old wounds healed, it’s called collagen synthesis, which requires vitamin C. So, if you get scurvy the body can no longer maintain the process and your scars can reopen. Bones that have been healed for like twenty years can actually shatter again, too, it’s pretty creepy when you really think about it, like we’re never really fully healed even after decades and-,”
“Robin,” Steve cut in. “Are you suggesting the universe has… scurvy?”
“No? Well… I mean, I guess. I just mean, what if closing the gates wasn’t just a one-and-done thing?”
Nancy seesawed her head back and forth, “Like, what was holding them together is no longer working?” she added. Robin nodded, holding her palms up like Vanna White, presenting Nancy’s contribution to the room.
“Isn’t that kind of a stretch?” Dustin asked.
“We could check the gates,” Max said, “See if they’re still closed?”
El nodded, sitting up a bit straighter, “I can feel them out, see if anything has changed.”
They all worked so well together. Steve had forgotten how easily they came up with plans, the pounding of his heart against his chest as adrenaline raced through his body, sharpening his mind. It all felt so quick, so practiced, no time for dilly-dallying, no time for uncertainty. But… if they found out the gates had opened again, what then? Would he need to go back to his world in order to close them? He looked at each party member one by one, took in their enthusiasm at creating a new plan, at figuring out a puzzle placed in front of them. What if he didn’t want to go back? What was there to even go back to?
“Maybe-,” Steve cut through their chattering voices, and they paused to focus on him. “Maybe we should just check the backyard first. See if that gate is open, and then we can worry about the rest. We should also probably tell the rest of the party, they don’t know any of this has happened yet.” And maybe that could buy him some time.
Just… just a couple more days, a couple more hours at the very least. They weren’t his family, but they were closer than he’d ever thought he’d have again. He wasn’t quite ready to give them up just yet.
“Right,” Robin said, placing her hand gently on Steve’s arm. He wondered how desperately she had craved her own Steve’s touch, if she had sat awake at night feeling like half of herself was missing, ‘two brain cells, Stevie, and one of them is yours.’
She squeezed his arm, and he already knew the answer. She was still Robbie.
“We should call your mom,” Nancy nodded.
“My what?”
It’s the little things 👀 expect the unexpected, Stevie
@weirdandabsurd42 @sirsnacksalot @space-invading-pigeon @aliea82 @goodolefashionedloverboi @emly03
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writingquestionsanswered · 1 year ago
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do you know how to adjust an old idea to something better? i have tons of ideas from when i was around 15, which right now seem really bad and are uninteresting to me. i still feel there is a story there, just not one i want to write. but i don't really know how to change the plot and themes/thematic statement. otherwise i just have loose concepts and a couple characters to work with. i don't feel like i have the ability to just go "what if..." and come up with new stories..
Reworking Old Story Ideas
The first thing I want to talk about is this: "i don't feel like i have the ability to just go "what if…" and come up with new stories.."
To be honest, that's kind of a problem if you want to be a storyteller. You need to be able to come up with new stories--and it's not an ability that will happen overnight or that won't still fail you even when you're better at it (even seasoned writers struggle now and then...) but it is something you need to get better at if you want to write stories. So, that's the first thing you need to tackle.
As storytellers, our job is to explore the human condition in ways that are entertaining, compelling, thought-provoking, and impactful. Or, depending on what you write, sometimes just in ways that are entertaining. Either way, in order to explore the human condition you need to be familiar with it, and in order to do that, you have to pay attention to what's going on in the world around you. One way storytellers love to do that is by consuming other stories. My post Filling Your Creative Well has some tips that should help.
When you have a full "creative well," it'll be much easier to look at those old ideas and figure out what works, what doesn't, and how to rework what's there. When you're more familiar with stories and how they work, you'll have an easier time finding a new story to go with whatever you decide to keep.
In the meantime, you can start looking at those old ideas and play around with them. Take three stories, pull your favorite character from each one, your favorite setting between the three stories, and your favorite plot from the three. Can you now combine all of these into a new idea? Alternatively, look at a story and see if you can pinpoint why it bores you... imagine you're critiquing it for someone else. Why doesn't it work? What does work? Is there anything obvious that would make the character, setting, or story more interesting? One thing to try: look at the character and their world, then ask yourself what's the worst possible thing that could happen to this character? Is there a plot there?
I hope that helps!
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firstelevens · 4 months ago
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for the intimacy prompts: "wearing someone’s clothes" (dealer's choice for ship/character!) 💕
23. wearing someone's clothes
get in the time machine losers we're returning to the au that has made me want to write a parks au for every single fandom I encounter: parks and rebellion
When he reflects on this moment somewhere down the line, Cassian will choose to blame the fact that he got too much sleep last night. He's pretty sure he's gotten by on four hours a night at least since he was in college, and getting the full physician-recommended eight hours is such a foreign concept that he woke up this morning terrified because he couldn't feel his shoulders and then realized that he couldn't feel them because they weren't actively tensed for once.
He'd been disoriented, to say the least, but he's already running late to meet the rest of the Parks crew for the Harvest Festival setup, so he moves through the house in a rush, dressing in the first clothes he can get his hands on and fielding Kay's increasingly impatient texts as he fills a travel mug with coffee and flies out the door.
The rest of the team is assembled and waiting for him by the entrance to Starloft Park: even Tonc, who'd literally laughed out loud when Cassian said they'd all need to be there by 8 AM.
"I'm so sorry," he says, as he hurries over to join them. "I was up late working on the copy for the radio spot, and it all just..."
He gestures with his hand, like that should save him from offering any more explanation. It's not a lie, technically. He'd texted Jyn to cancel the movie night that they were supposed to have and then she'd appeared at his door with a pizza and multicolored index cards to help with the script. Cassian just wasn't built to resist an overture like that.
Still, while he's willing to bet that Bodhi knows what's going on, that hardly explains the strange look the entire rest of the group is giving him.
"So you finished the script?" Chirrut finally asks, with an inexplicably knowing smirk on his face.
"Uh, almost," says Cassian. "I was up pretty late last night, so I should probably proofread it again." And maybe actually write more than a sentence of it, he adds in his head. They can probably hit the 30 second mark if he works in a few of the ideas that he and Jyn batted around last night.
"Perfect," says Bodhi. "Since Cassian's got that taken care of, we can all focus on handling our assigned stations."
As he reads off the spreadsheet that Cassian emailed everyone yesterday, there's the sound of gravel crunching underfoot, and Cassian looks over his shoulder to see Jyn joining them. She's the one who's technically supposed to be at City Hall instead of out here, but for some reason, her eyebrows shoot up in surprise when Cassian turns to face her.
When he raises an eyebrow in response, though, she just shakes her head.
Bodhi pauses in the middle of rattling off assignments to greet Jyn as she comes to stand between Chirrut and Cassian.
"I thought you said you had back to back meetings this morning," says Cassian, eyeing her work boots and paint-stained jeans.
She shrugs. "I rescheduled. Figured you might need help from someone who knows how to use power tools," she says, with a significant look at Kay, who scowls back at her.
"Glad to have your help," says Baze, before the two of them can start arguing. "We'll need it."
They're joined by some vendors before Bodhi can continue, and just as everyone is splitting up to tackle their assignments, Jyn leans towards Cassian and says, "Nice sweatshirt, by the way."
He blinks at her, confused until he looks down at himself: in his too-well-rested daze, he'd grabbed the first warm thing within reach and put it on to guard against the October chill.
The 'first warm thing within reach' had, in this case, been Jyn's faded and much-beloved Lah'mu State Park hoodie, which she'd tossed over the back of his couch at some point in the evening and hadn't been awake to retrieve before Cassian left the house today.
Cassian looks from Jyn, smirking delightedly at him, to his departing co-workers, some of whom are glancing back at them curiously.
"Thanks," he says, and feels and exhilarated swoop in his stomach before he adds, "it's my girlfriend's."
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elgaladwen · 2 months ago
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Headcanon Tag Game
I was tagged by @saephrond and @linden-leaf for a fun prompt where you use this headcanon generator, and talk about how accurate it would be with your OCs. It's always fun to think and write more about them, especially since I've been in such a creative slump lately, and they're kind of my escape, so thank you! Obviously some of them are silly since they're more modern, but we can roll with it! Mostly Nim and El under the cut.
Nimardril likes to eat straight coffee beans
Honestly, if she figured out they gave her energy while running around, she would. She eats weird stuff to survive when she has to, so non-poisonous plant parts are always a bonus.
If Nimardril was presented with an intergalactic portal, they would enter it without question.
Not quite without question, but she loves exploring and seeing new places, so if she thought it wouldn't kill her, she probably would. This one is amusing too, because I RP her seeing any graphical glitch she encounters in LOTRO in character, as long as it's somewhere she'd actually be, and I can see this stemming from that. There used to be one of those gold portals like you see behind doors or at the entrance of instances and areas floating in the Thorin's Gate homesteads, and while it didn't turn out to be a portal IC, it still led to some fun RP. Usually she just sounds, or is, crazy.
Nimardril tackles and wrestles people to show affection.
The short answer is yes, the long answer is that she rarely feels comfortable enough with someone to actually do it. I think it stems from that she's more used to sparring and fighting than regular physical affection, since everyone important in her life taught her combat and survival. They showed affection by helping her learn and grow, not by hugs or cuddling, though there were some exceptions of course. I imagine she would try to jump her cousins and best them, both to show what she'd learned, and just because she trusted them enough to know it'd be fun and they'd not take it personally. I don't think in her mind she associates play fighting with anything romantic or sexual since she's pretty inexperienced in that realm, but I think she will in the future, especially when she realizes that perhaps she doesn't mind losing so much to certain people. She's traveling with her hot girlfriend who she met while desperately fighting orcs, so she knows she can take a tackle. ;)
Nimardril is an oldest child
Though she was an only child to her parents, she later went to live with her uncle and cousins, and she's the youngest of them, so she sees them as older brothers. So she's kind of the youngest!
Elgaladwen role plays on discord.
Pfft this is just screen name Elgaladwen and not character Elgaladwen. (I don't think character Elgaladwen would RP, she'd probably think it was weird. She's kind of a judgy bitch sometimes.)
Elgaladwen has a diary that they write in with a glittery gel pen.
Younger Elgaladwen totally would have. Now she has fancy rich colored ink she blends herself, and gold leaf for illumination.
Elgaladwen is an introvert
Haha, no. Though she married one, and is happy to join in his life.
Elgaladwen has an embarrassing old deviant art account.
Seriously all of El's are just calling me out. But I feel like this would be true in a modern AU. She loves drawing and painting, but probably has cringe older stuff ticked away somewhere. (I still use my embarrassing dA account, so it's all there!)
Bonus for my other mains, and Elgaladwen and her Husband's ship name:
Moradan can't handle criticism
True! Though he's starting to get a small bit better.
Lindandir has an incredible spice tolerance.
Yes. In all meanings of the word.
ElGallorith will go feral. Watch out.
This one should have been for Nimardril, because it is one of her defining characteristics, but Elgaladwen and Gallorith have both had their moments recently, even if they're usually more reserved.
I'm going to be a coward and not tag anyone, since I think most people have been tagged anyway, but please do it if you want to! It's fun to see what people come up with, and I'm all for anything that gives you inspiration to write about your OCs!
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trickster-shi · 11 months ago
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Wednesday 01/03/24
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I am so not ready to go back to work tomorrow, but I am pretty pleased about the work I've done on my writing projects this week.
Project Zander
Chapter Two, 1840 words
I finished the first scene of the chapter, which is from Darius' POV and I uncovered his core character strength and weakness while writing and then brainstorming separately. Darius is the tol sunshine puppy of the group, with seemingly endless sass and optimism, but that's actually covering up a lot of insecurities, fear, and mother henning tendencies. His internal thoughts are fun to write because he feels everything, worries about everything, and ties himself up in knots while trying to be brave and funny for the people around him.
They're in quite a pickle at the moment, so he's been incredibly introspective while the other two sleep, trying to figure out why they ended up somewhere they shouldn't have and how they're gonna get out of it.
He's also worrying about Zander and what he had to do to save Darius and Elivia in chapter one, and wishing the sisters were there to take over because Darius is very much not ready to Adult at that level just yet.
I'm still trying to work out some world building issues to marry this story into the ending of Fred and Taz's series that is not completely written yet, so that's also fun. I'm throwing in an alternate Texas circa 1940's or so, steampunk elements, magic, and gods into the mix with surprise time travel, so there's a lot of moving parts but I'm excited to tackle them.
Since I work Thurs-Friday, I don't know how much writing I'll get done those days, so it may be down to the weekend to make more significant progress. We'll see.
Home Across the Universe, Story #10
Untitled, 2987 words
I wrote the entire 2987 words today, so I feel really good about that. I've written a couple previous drafts of this story since October but they just didn't quite come together how I wanted, so I put it on the back burner until now so I could concentrate on NaNo and then Project Zander.
So far, this story is about Stiles taking advantage of a new opportunity and seeing where it leads. It will be pretty Stiles and Peter-centric, with some Derek POV scenes thrown in. I am still developing the Kate plot thread introduced in Boyfriend Achievements: Unlocked, so I don't know if she will be appearing in this story or the next one. It depends on how long this piece decides to be.
So far, this first part was Stiles and John talking over the new opportunity with lots of Stiles' inner thoughts and references to things that have been happening since Christmas. I would say that Stiles is currently the most hopeful he has been in quite a while, so that's really nice to write.
Still, you guys know me. I do love my angst, so I'm sure I'll get to weave some in there somewhere, but so far Stiles's only angsty struggle is that two someone's currently occupying the Stilinski home *cough, Mini-Stiles and Austin, cough* broke the coffee pot and there's been a creative punishment enforced to work off that debt to buy a new one. And Stiles hasn't had coffee first thing in the morning in a week.
He's quite testy about that. But the new opportunity has the added incentive of free, good quality coffee, so he's all for it, even if it does come from Peter.
Other Projects:
I haven't physically worked on the other projects currently occupying other back burners this week, but the following stories are still in active progress:
Into The Black Episode Two
I did restructure what exists of Episode Two during December and wrote around 1k-2k on it. It is currently sitting at 5,876 words. Mainly it was tightening up the narrative, so I cut out a lot of stuff that was dragging the chapter down and fixing stuff to move the plot forward. I'm excited about what I have planned for that episode.
Rabbit Come Home, Part Three
I haven't touched what I have written for the third and final story in a while. It's currently sitting at 16,636 words. I know what I want to have happen in my head but I've had a hard time actually getting it written down, so that one may just need to marinate for a while before I can finish it. I want to do my vision justice and nail the ending.
That's all for now. I'm going to finish up some things and head to bed. 5 am is gonna come way too quick, I can already tell *cries*
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inkisadream · 1 year ago
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My energy has been so incredibly improved lately and I'm not sure why, entirely, but I want to note it, mark it, because it's been ages since I've felt consistently this good and I want it to last.
Some things that have changed:
-I've been on sabbatical, which means I have complete control over my days. It's been a real adjustment getting back into that freedom and negotiating the complexities of it—linked to being at home a lot, for example, are memories of the early days of COVID and the uncertainty and loneliness. And, having the actual ability to go places and structure my work as I want to has been really, really nice, once I got my brain over its initial "PANIC!" hurdle. It's been good. Healing is good.
-I've been busy, which is how I thrive. I have a lot of projects going and a lot of balls in the air, but I feel equipped to tackle them. I'm remembering how to organize myself such that they all get done. And, in rediscovering how to do this, I'm returning to limits that feel familiar, rather than, again, a "PANIC!" state. Inklings of my writing speed are returning. I'm so excited.
-I've been working out consistently. I know this helps me—it always has—and also I am lazy and very good at talking myself out of it. But gosh it feels good. My body feels used and appreciated.
-I've stopped drinking coffee in the mornings. This is a surprising one. I started this practice because I wanted to get un-addicted from caffeine, and I like to work at coffee shops in the afternoons, so I figured cutting out coffee at home would be easier than upending my entire work rhythm. I was right, and I've noticed that I just feel better earlier in the day. It still takes me time to wake up to the world and get into a groove, but I'm much less lethargic about the whole thing. I'm not giving up coffee—I love coffee—but this has made such a huge difference.
-I'm cooking fresher. I'm spending more time in nature. I'm doing breathwork. I joined a coven. I'm letting myself be present.
-And embedded in all of this are small changes in how I talk to myself. "I hate doing this" becomes "no complaining; just do it." "ugh ugh ugh" becomes "here we go." Actually physically writing these things at the top of whatever I'm working on, well, works. It's minor but, like, calling in what you want to be does help bring it into being.
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poopandpraydotcom · 5 days ago
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Mary, Martha, and Marthy: The Mythical Middle Sister's Hack to a Biblical and Balanced Life
Hey there, fellow poopers and prayers! 💩🙏
Have you ever felt torn in the all-too-familiar struggle between being productive and being in the moment? Keep reading to learn more including how to get your very own FREE Marthy’s Wonder Wheel and Journey Journal printable designed to help you find balance in your life.
The Tale of Two Sisters (and a Third?) 👭
Many of us have heard the classic Bible story of Mary and Martha which I used to see as a simple tale of two sisters— Mary (the original fangirl, sitting at Jesus’ feet✨) and Martha (our kitchen queen, always bustling about, making sure everyone is fed and comfy – essentially the OG Martha Stewart 🧁). 
But after digging deeper, I realized it’s more than that both Mary and Martha were beloved disciples, and this story isn’t about competition — it’s about Jesus calling each to a deeper faith and purpose. This got me thinking: What if there was a third sister? A mythical figure who was the perfect balance between both qualities? A sister who could both sit at Jesus' feet and prepare a feast? Allow me to introduce... Marthy! 🎉
How to Channel Your Inner Marthy 🧘‍♀️
Now, before you start flipping through your Bibles searching for her, let me break it to you gently—Marthy’s as real as a clean house with toddlers. She’s the sister that never gets mentioned because, let’s be honest, she’s too good to be true!
But here’s the thing—aren’t we all trying to be a bit "Marthy" in our daily lives? Trying to have quiet time while folding laundry and prepping a potluck dish for church? (Spoiler: It usually ends with a burnt casserole and a Bible covered in laundry detergent.) 😂
Practical Steps Toward Balance
So, how do we channel our inner “Marthy” and find that sweet spot between rest and productivity (without all the unrealistic expectations)? Here are some ideas to get you started:
Listen for God’s Voice 🎧 Even in the midst of to-do lists, chaos, and kids’ arguments, take a moment to hear Him. Pooping and praying, anyone? 😉😃
Set Realistic Goals 📋 Instead of trying to tackle a Mount Everest-sized to-do list, try to focus on completing a few key tasks each day. After all, don’t superheroes have to start their day with a cup of coffee and a plan? 😉
Prioritize Self-Care  ☕ Schedule small breaks for yourself— a short walk, a cup of tea, or even just a few minutes of quiet. You’ll find you’re better able to tackle anything else after a quick “power up!” 💪
Create a Flexible Routine 🕒 We might not know what is coming but we know something is coming, right? 😛 Budgeting in some “expecting the unexpected” time can help you stay on schedule while reducing the overwhelm. ✔️
Celebrate Small Wins 🎉 Acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small. Did you finally finish that load of laundry? Throw yourself a mini dance party! (Just don’t invite the pile of unmatched socks… they’re terrible dancers! 🧦😂)!
Embrace Imperfection 🧁 Let go of the need for everything to be perfect!  Sometimes, “good enough” is all you need to keep moving forward. Even a cake that looks like a science experiment is still a delicious dessert. 🎂😋
Connect with Others 🤗 Share your struggles and successes with friends, and family, or even simply write them down in a journal. Getting those thoughts and feelings out can help provide clarity and peace of mind. 🤍🍃✨️
Reflect and Adjust 📝 At the end of each week, take a moment to reflect on what worked and what didn’t. Do you need to tone down your “inner Martha” or kick your “inner Mary” into gear? ⚖️
Remember Jesus Love You 💜 Whether you're more Mary, Martha, or a “hot mess express” (because who isn’t? 😉) at the end of the day, Jesus came to save us all and that is what really matters. 💗🙌
Get Your FREE Printable to Find Balance!
To help you channel your inner Marthy, I’ve created a fun, practical tool: the Marthy Wonder Wheel and Journey Journal printable! 🎨✨
The Marthy Wonder Wheel helps you reflect on how balanced your life is between Mary (reflective, spiritual) and Martha (active, service-oriented) qualities.
The Journey Journal gives you space to set goals, track your progress, and invite God into every area of your life.
Mission Marthy (🚀🎶to the theme of Mission Impossible 🚀🎶)
So, my dear poop-and-pray pals, who’s with me on this Marthy mission? Let’s embrace the beautiful, messy middle ground between sitting at Jesus’ feet and keeping our to-do lists from becoming to-do notebooks. We’re all in this together—one prayer and one flush at a time! 💩🙏
P.S. If you happen to find Marthy, let a sister know, will ya? 😉 Also don’t forget to grab your “FREE Marthy Wonder Wheel and Journey Journal!” P.P.S. Feel free to share your own “Marthy” moments in the comments below. I’d love to hear how you find the balance! 💗
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rosetintedpoverty · 2 years ago
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How to Write Website Content That Ranks (And People Want to Read)
If you want traffic coming to your website, you need website content—but not just any content.
Specifically, you need website content that: 
Ranks on Google – You need a way for people to discover your content. Google’s your best bet: 53.3% of all website traffic comes from organic search. 
Engages your audience – Your target reader should consume your content and be compelled to take the next step, whether it’s subscribing to your email list or buying your product.
In this post, you’ll learn how to create content that achieves both goals.
1. Do keyword research
You can’t get search traffic if no one’s searching for your keywords on Google. That’s why the first step is to figure out what your target audience is searching for. 
This process is known as keyword research. 
To get started, make yourself a cup of joe, sit down, and ask yourself: “What would my target audience type in Google if they were looking for my website?”
For example, if your website sells coffee equipment, then someone may be searching for websites similar to yours using these keywords:
Coffee
Espresso
Cappuccino
Coffee beans
French press
We’ll then take these keywords and use them as seeds in a keyword research tool like Ahrefs’ Keywords Explorer. So here’s what we’ll do:
Go to Keywords Explorer
Enter the keywords you’ve come up with (in this example, we’ll use the five coffee keywords)
Go to the Matching terms report
Here, you see more than 4 million potential keywords you can target. However, not only is that too many, but most of them are also too competitive. After all, Google search doesn’t exist in a vacuum—if there are many websites vying for pole position, it becomes harder to rank. 
So we want to narrow down the results. We’ll do this using two filters:
Keyword Difficulty (KD) – How hard it is to rank for a particular keyword. We’ll set it to something low and manageable, around 20.
Traffic Potential – The potential amount of search traffic your page can get if it ranks #1. We’ll set it to 500.
It’s much more manageable now. Go through the list and pick out the keywords you think are relevant to your site.
Further reading
2. Create the content
With a list of keywords to target, it’s time to create content.
Here’s how:
Choose your content format
Your content can be a listicle, a how-to guide, an opinion piece, or more. 
Which one should you choose?
The most straightforward way is to look at what’s ranking in Google for your chosen topic. For example, if we look at the search engine results page (SERPs) for “how to save money,” we can see that—despite the two words “how to”—people are actually looking for a list of tips.
So if you’re tackling this topic, your content format will likely be a listicle. This helps you compete with the existing results on the SERPs.
Choose your angle
You’ll want to make your content specific so your audience can clearly identify its value. This is conveyed via your content’s angle. 
For example, a blog post teaching how to cook fried rice fast has a clearer proposition than simply how to cook fried rice. 
There’s no “best” or “correct” angle to select, so choose one that’s novel and interesting to your readers. Here are some questions that could spark ideas:
Do you have personal experience or expertise? If you have a unique fried rice recipe, share it.
Can you interview experts? For example, you can interview the chef making the fried rice that’s rated 4.5* on Google.
Can you crowdsource ideas? For example, you can poll people part of r/chinesecooking on their best fried rice recipes.
Can you back your content with data or science? For example, you can explain how to make egg fried rice using molecular gastronomy (and explain the science behind it).
Figure out important subtopics to cover
You don’t want to miss out on subtopics in your post—especially if it’s something searchers expect to see. 
We can figure out what these subtopics are by looking at the common keyword rankings among the top-ranking pages:
Enter your keyword (e.g., “inbound marketing”) into Ahrefs’ Keywords Explorer
Scroll down to the SERP overview
Select three to five top-ranking articles (make sure they’re similar)
Click Open in and choose Content gap
Here, we’ll want to make sure to see only the most relevant subtopics. We’ll do this by selecting the Intersection dropdown and choosing the highest two targets (in this example, 4 and 5).
From here, we can see that searchers also want to know:
The definition of inbound marketing.
Examples of inbound marketing.
Inbound marketing strategies.
If we’re covering the same topic (“inbound marketing”) from a similar angle (“beginner’s guide”), then these subtopics would make good subheadings. 
Further reading
Design your content to be readable
Nothing is worse than having to read a chunk of text. You’ll want to make your content comfortable to read and easy on the eyes.
You can do this using the ASMR formula:
Annotations – Add elements like sidenotes, blockquotes, and call-out boxes to break up the monotony of the post.
Short sentences and paragraphs – Break long sentences with lots of transitional words like “and,” “because,” and “that” into shorter ones.
Multimedia – Including videos, images, and GIFs helps illustrate your points without extra words.
Read your copy out loud – This pinpoints areas where the content doesn’t flow smoothly.
Write like how you talk
You don’t have to puke out a word salad to impress your readers. The best online writing is friendly and casual. Treat it as if you’re talking to a friend. 
If you’re afraid your writing is too business-like, paste your draft into Hemingway:
Reel your readers in with an eye-catching headline
The famed adman David Ogilvy once said:
On the average, five times as many people read the headline as read the body copy.
People are busy. You need to catch their attention with the headline. So no matter how hard you work on your content, if your headline doesn’t hook them, they won’t read it. 
The best way to come up with a good headline is volume. In other words, brainstorm as many possible headlines for your article as possible. Viral site Upworthy used to create 25 headlines for each of its articles, and bestselling author James Clear brainstormed 400 before coming up with “Atomic Habits”:
Many. I brainstormed over 400 possible titles.
— James Clear (@JamesClear) April 13, 2020
Fortunately for you, there’s a faster way to reach this volume today. You can use ChatGPT:
Don’t use what’s generated verbatim, but use it to spark inspiration and help you create the perfect headline.
Further reading
Add your on-page SEO
On-page SEO focuses on helping Google and searchers understand and digest your content.
Follow these best practices:
Further reading
3. Get a peer to review your work
Our content is well known in the SEO industry, and we’re often complimented for our content quality:
Testament to the power of content marketing. You guys have one of the strongest blogs in the industry
— MicroSaasGuy (@MicroSaasGuy) March 9, 2023
Our secret sauce? Peer review.
Each writer on our team is paired with another to review each other’s work. We point out inaccuracies, logical loopholes, structural issues, spelling errors, and grammatical mistakes. We help each other improve phrasing, suggest examples, or give more ideas.
This is so important to us that we even dedicate a section in the author’s box to contributors:
A writer can’t write alone—they’re too close to their own work. They need a third party with a fresh set of eyes to go through and provide feedback. That’s why authors hire editors—they’re there to sharpen the prose and tighten the copy.
If you have an editor to show your draft to, great. If not, you can always get the help of a friend, family member, or colleague. 
Even if they don’t finish reading, it’s still helpful because it tells you where they stopped reading. That’s most likely the part where they lost interest, so you know where you need to improve. 
4. Publish and monitor your performance
Before you publish, run your draft through a tool like Grammarly to fix up any final grammatical, spelling, or phrasing errors.
Once that’s all done, hit ‘“publish.”
Then, head over to Ahrefs’ Rank Tracker and set up a project for your website.
Follow through the steps. And then in step #4, add the keyword(s) you’re targeting:
The tool will track your website’s ranking positions for the keywords you’ve added. 
SEO is a continual process, and a tool like Rank Tracker will enable you to keep track of your underperforming content so you can improve it over time.
Further reading
By the way, do I have to write all the content myself?
No. You can outsource.
To help you decide if you should create content yourself, here are a few points to consider:
Do you like writing? If you feel like vomiting every time you sit down to write a post, you should consider outsourcing.
Is content creation the most important thing you can do? I’m a content marketer, so writing is my most important task. But if you’re in another role, say an entrepreneur or a salesperson, then perhaps writing is not your “one thing.” It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t create content, but it may mean you don’t do the actual writing. (Remember: Many books are written by ghostwriters.)
Are you overwhelmed with tasks? If you can never find time to create content, e.g., you’re a solopreneur, then it’s probably better if you outsource.
Are you in an industry that requires domain expertise? For some industries (e.g., health), expertise is vital not just for the sake of your readers but for ranking. If you don’t have the required expertise, you may want to consider outsourcing it to someone who does. (Although you can overcome this through interviewing experts.)
Do you have a budget for hiring? Time is money too, so it doesn’t mean you should create all the content yourself just because you don’t have a budget. Make sure it’s the most important thing you can do.
If you’ve decided to outsource, then you can start looking for freelance writers on job boards and marketplaces. There are general ones like Upwork, and there should also be ones specific to your industry (e.g., Swipe Files is a job board for marketers).
Further reading
Final thoughts
If you follow through the steps above, you’ll create content that Google loves. 
Over time, your efforts will be rewarded and you’ll see organic traffic flow to your website.
Any questions or comments? Let me know on Twitter.
Read more here https://ahrefs.com/blog/website-content/
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cahmilo · 3 years ago
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Hii, I have a request, a Camilo x fem!reader. Can you maybe write a fluff one shot where cami and the reader are always cuddling. Like they can see each other during their chores and just hug or kiss then go back to what they were doing. Have a nice day
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Cuddle Bug ㅡ camilo m.
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pairing: camilo madrigal x female reader
genre: pure fluff
tags: established relationship, pda, cuddles, kisses, camilo is lovesick, reader is pampered
a/n: thank you for the request and i hope you like it! i kind of had a similar drabble in my drafts so i hope you don't mind me adding some especially in the last T^T
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"Gracias, Señora, I'll make sure to deliver the rest of the jams later afternoon!" You gestured to the middle-aged woman whom you were sent to deliver freshly made jam from your family business.
The woman sent her regards and you started to walk back home, dusting your dress from the dust. You had a moment of silence through the walk home before you heard whining from a familiar voice until you were tackled into a back hug.
"Cami!" You didn't need to think twice who it was. Turning around, you extended your arms and gave the love of your life a very-big bear hug. The boy in turn, let out a squeak as he buried his face in the crook of your neck.
"Amor! I haven't seen you all day!" Camilo mumbled, his breath tickling your neck. "You smell like honey..."
Hearing his small comment made you burst out in laughter, hugging the boy tighter as you sway. "Yeah, a girl doing chores in her family's honey farm smelling like honey? Weird right?"
Camilo pulled away from the hug and pouted at you, still having his hands on your waist. "I haven't seen you for long and you already make snarky remarks at your boyfriend?"
"I'm just kidding mi vida!!!" You exclaimed, squishing his cheeks and tapping his nose. "How were the kids today?" Your eyes widened slightly after you realized your choice of words. Why did that make me sound like a mother?
Camilo was taken aback from the way you worded the question, but shrugged it away swatting his imaginations running wild in his head. "They were a handful! The coffee kid kept climbing on me and Cecilia kept singing I feel like my ear was bleeding and Jose's kid kept hiding that he almost hid in the oven and I didn't notice! God knows what else would happen if I forgot!"
"Jeez" You furrowed your eyebrows, moving away to hold his hand whilst you walk back to the middle of town. "I don't know where you get your patience from"
"Can't blame them. Mi papi said it's my karma because I was exactly like that as a kid."
"Based from the white hair from your father I can already tell how much of a handful you are" You ruffled his hair, making him grumble and sulk playfully.
"Yeah yeah I'm getting a taste of my own medicine. But since I had a long day and you kept making fun of me, I think you owe me something in return" He said as he stopped his tracks to turn back and face you.
You saw his mischievous grin and tilted your head, figuring out the sneaky plan he had in mind. "And that is-?"
The end of your sentence got cut off as you were interrupted by your own squeal as Camilo suddenly turned around and duck down, grabbing your thighs as he lifts you up, carrying you on his back. Immediately, you wrapped your arms around his neck while you bury your head in his fluffy hair while he runs for his life and you are left yelling.
"CUDDLES!"
"It's quite convenient how you had to carry me all the way here" You mumbled, munching on an arepa that Camilo gave to you.
Both of you were now at the Casita courtyard, cuddling on one of the hammocks. Yeah, three hammocks in the room and both of you just had to crunch in only one. You were half sitting and lying down while Camilo was close to dozing off on top of you. His head was lying comfortably on your chest and his legs were entangled with yours. While snacking, your other hand was playing with his hair and Camilo was fighting with all of his might not to pass out right then and now.
"I can stay here all I want, no ones gonna look for me all the way here" You heard Camilo mumbling against the fabric of your top, voice groggy from his sleepiness.
You chuckled at him and your voice along with the vibrations from your torso practically sends his heart fluttering to the edge of the world. He buries his face even more, hiding his face that showed a mixture between sleepy and flustered. Boy he is so whipped for you.
"We need to go eventually milo, we both have chores to do" You trailed off, dusting your hands after finishing the last bite of the arepa as you took the advantage and played with his fluffy curls. All the more reason for Camilo to just melt.
You can hear him whine. "5 more minutes"
"Okay, but roll over you're heavy"
Thank God you both didn't fall from the hammock who was clinging for its life holding both of your weight. Now, your head was on the crook of Camilo's neck while his hands wrap around your waist. You can feel yourself slowly dozing off, and his soft mellow singing made it even worse as you passed out in his arms.
"My back hurts" You complained for the 34674th time to Mirabel who was busy washing the jars while you were sitting on a desk fiddling with the stickers for the jar.
"What happened to you this time?"
"Dozed off with Camilo on your hammocks at home, forgot to wake up for the next chores and the next thing you know, Casita just yeeted us off and sent us flying to the ground!"
"At least it woke you up. Both of you sleep like logs I don't blame Casita" Mirabel snickered.
You gave her a playful offended gaze. "Hey! Show some compassion here your best friend is in pain"
"Oh Y/N, if you're talking about pain let's not just count the fact that I have to hold myself and NOT throwing up when you and mi primo stick to each other like bugs on a leaf"
"You set us up together so it's your fault-" "I THOUGHT IT WOULDN'T MAKE IT PAST THE FIRST DATE-"
"Y/N MI AMOR!" Speaking of the devil...
Once again, you were trapped in a bear hug by none other than your lover. Camilo wrapped his arms around you and peppered kisses on the side of your cheeks making you laugh.
"Hola amor, why are you so giddy all of a sudden" You turned around and gave him a peck in the lips. He really seemed so energetic and full of energy as if he didn't just fall off the hammock like you did.
"Playing hide and seek with the children outside, I have a minute before I go back and seek them"
"Can you two please get a room-" Both of you threw a deadpanned look at Mirabel who absolutely ruined the moment.
"Ugh" You groaned sarcastically. "You should set her up with one of your friends"
Camilo nodded, still having his arms around you. "Later, I have time to crunch here" His attention went back to you as he hugged you tighter with a squeal.
"You're adorable cami, but you need to go back to the kids" You motioned to the clock that was ticking. He looked back at you, pouting. Leaving a last peck on his lips, he ran away back to continue his babysitting duties.
"Y/N."
"What is it now Mira?"
"Stop smiling like that it's creepy"
"Shut up"
"Sure, Señora. I can accompany Camilo while taking care of little Lia" You smiled enthusiastically as you bent down your knees to meet the little girl's eyes. She had a shy demeanor but slowly warmed up to you once you pulled flower crown and put it on her. "No need to worry, niñita, we'll take care of you okay?" She nodded slowly. You opened your arms and she slowly walked up to your embrace.
"Muchas gracias, Y/N. Lo siento for the short notice but I had no choice but to let her stay here." The same middle-aged woman whom you had packaged delivered had a sad look on her face. But you understood.
After you promised to deliver the rest of the jams, she pointed out that her niece, Lia had to be babysit while she travels upside for her work. Luckily, you and Camilo were trustworthy enough to take care of her for the night. Little Lia basically grew up under your care due to close family ties but there are times where she can be reserved and shy.
"It's alright Señora, no worries! She's safe in mi casa" You gave her a smile as she greets her niece goodbye. With good timing, Camilo arrived in your house bringing a bunch of play toys he brought from Lia's house.
"Who is up for a game of jenga?!" "ME!"
Was Camilo too young to have this imagery in his mind? The thought of you and him as a family, with little yous and hims running around the house with energy they got from Camilo, was he insane?
But he can't help it. After he cleaned the dishes after dinner, he walked up to your room to see you and Lia cuddled together in a blanket he gifted to you. The sight of this made his heart swell with love and admiration. Little Lia was snuggled in your arms, fast asleep while you held her tight, nearly close to sleeping.
Camilo walked closer to you to tuck a stray strand of hair from your face to the back of the ear, his hand cupped and his thumb stroking your cheek. You slowly opened your eyes and met his soft warm hazel ones.
"Were you able to give her a bath before sleeping?" He whispered as he motioned to the little girl in your arms. You nodded, giving him a soft smile. His heart fluttered and if he were to be honest, he was about to cry in pure happiness.
You patted to the other side of the bed, urging him to lie beside you. He followed, fiddling through the sheets as he spooned you. His arms slithered through your waist and brought you and Lia closer.
"Is it weird if I say we look like a family now?" He whispered, voice giving shivers to your spine.
"Yes. Whatever you're thinking, keep it to yourself"
He laughed. "I was kidding mi vida. But this entire thing is adorable though"
"It is..." You let go of Lia, putting her in a more comfortable position as you turned around and snuggled closer to Camilo. He giggled at you burying yourself in his chest and fiddled with the locks of your hair.
"It's strange you know, when we met you wouldn't even walk up to me in a kilometer radius and now you're never off of me" You trailed off, looking at Camilo who held in a silent laugh.
It was indeed strange for the both of you. A few months ago, you never talked to him or even spared a glace at each other. Not until Mirabel got dared to set up two of her friends for a blind date. Not really thinking it through, she chose you and Camilo, oblivious as to how that small detail would change both of your lives. The moment you two spent the evening basking under the moonlight in the nearby garden, something sparked. You noticed him, and he noticed you. Since then, you two were inseparable and as much as Mirabel spent teasing you both, she lowkey loved your relationship and how she was the one to make it happen. Oftentimes she even gets jealous for not having a relationship of her own.
At any time of the day when the people from the town sees you and Camilo in the same place, you are both either cuddling or holding hands. And it was strange too since both of you weren't the type to be physical with anyone else. You were only touchy to your family and Camilo was only physically affectionate with his mother, both of which were only seen in private. How odd that even in public, its always both of you who are stuck to each other like glue. Oftentimes when you pass by each other during chores, there was never a moment where you two didn't hug or kiss.
How strange, truly. But you wouldn't trade it for anything else. Right now, it seemed as if the stars realigned themselves, like how Mirabel restored the Miracle, she also shared some of the magic with you. A perfect sun and moon with Camilo as the sunshine and you as his moonlight.
"We both owe this to Mirabel. You didn't even notice my existence until she got dared to" He commented.
"Hey! I was busy with my chores, who knew that there was a cute boy walking around the town that I could have swooned over wi-" Your response got interrupted by a tug from your shirt. Turning around, you saw Lia who was stirring awake.
Before you were about to speak, Lia suddenly stood up and crawled between you and Camilo, lying back down and going back to sleep. You and Camilo exchanged gazes, both flustered and stunned at the sudden move from the little girl. Camilo then sent you a smirk, raising his eyebrows.
"We definitely look like a family now" He mouthed, afraid that a whisper would wake the little girl.
You scrunched your face stuck out your tongue and ushered to sleep, cuddling both figures in front of you.
Again, you wouldn't trade this for the world. You silently thanked the universe for letting this happen. Finally dozing off to sleep, you failed to think about Mirabel's reaction when she barges in to your room in the morning and sees you and her cousin snuggled in bed with a little girl.
And boy did you fail to anticipate the amount of teasing once Mirabel brings back a camera and takes a hecka load of pictures of you. Like she said, both of you do sleep like logs that you wouldn't even notice.
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taglist: @thegirlwiththebangs @mirabelleza @carcat-02 @brushofease @camilos-luna @kitasgloves @ducky-is-dead-inside @elegantkidfansoul @moon-cakiie ++ join here 
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writingquestionsanswered · 1 year ago
Text
Weak Beginning & Middle Struggles
Anonymous asked: I've been working on a draft of my story for a while now. I wanna move on to getting everything more refined and connected better, but every time I try, I blank out or it just doesn't feel right. I can worldbuild and character build as much as I please but when it comes to the PLOT... it just. Won't go. The beginning feels sluggish and unnatural, the middle feels too wobbly to work with and the end is fairly solid but you know I kind of need everything else to align with the end and the end needs to align with everything else. I have tried outlining techniques and they don't help much (at least the ones I've tried, like snowflake or flashlight) but if I try to pants it I lose the plot and everything changes in a way I'm not satisfied with. I know what I want but its just... impossible to get into a state where I can actually look at it. I'm in limbo and I would like to leave.
Since you're doing a lot of world building and character development, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess this is probably a genre fiction novel or novella. Having said that, the first place to start is to make sure you have a good grasp on how to move these kinds of stories forward. Otherwise, if you don't know how plot works, you can't really come up with a plot and you have nothing to outline.
Basic Story Structure How to Move a Story Forward Beginning a New Story
It's also important to make sure you understand conflict, and more specifically, what conflict is driving the story? What is the problem in your character's world that they must resolve? What is the problem within themselves that they'll work on while they tackle the problem in their world? Conflict is essential for the story, and if you don't have strong conflict, your beginning and middle will be weak. Once you know your conflict, you and figure out your character's goals (what they want to do to solve the problem) and motivation (why they want to solve the problem.)
Understanding Goals and Conflict
If the above doesn't get you back on track, there could be something else going on. 5 Reasons You Lost Interest in Your WIP, Plus Fixes! looks at some of the common problems and tells you what to do about them.
If all else fails, you may just need to spend more time figuring out what the story is about, what needs to happen, and the best way to make those things happen.
Good luck with your story!
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