#going to continue with my rewatches now because this season is just so much fun; I can't get enough of it

[riansdiary]

YOU HAVE IT ALL NOW. END OF STORY. PERIOD. DOOR SLAM!!! (Be Your Own Abdullah!)

Dearest Gentle Readers 💎

Let this be the last Tumblr post that you will read. This is the secret to not wavering and spiraling. Aren't you tired? If yes then continue reading. If not, grab that manifestation by the horns and be stubborn about you having it already no matter what.

I have a little Halloween aesthetic treat for you today and Nancy Wheeler who I love so much from Stranger Things! I've been rewatching Stranger Things to get ready for the fifth season and some parts of it made me think about manifestation. In fact, I have a new analogy coming soon and I'm working on it now.

Before anything, I wanna thank the people who helped me have a better and stronger new mindset about all this. First of all, I'd like to thank @babygothprincess as usual for her deciding post that has really helped me a lot. Second, I am grateful for Taylor Tookes' updated outlook and mindset about manifestation that immensely improved mine as well. I agreed completely with everything she said.

Fun fact: I loved her X account as it really helped my mindset get better and her tweets have helped me a lot. Let me just set up the story. I wanted her to have an updated video about her new way of manifesting now that can be seen on her X account. I just decreed and decided that she's gonna post an updated video about her new mindset and beliefs about the law of assumption and voila! Later on, I went to her YouTube account to watch a video and she has a new video about the exact topic I wanted! Yes, I manifested it. I did that once and relaxed. Told myself that it is done.

The third and last is for Nancy Wheeler from Stranger Things. She helped me become braver and stronger just by embodying her. This is about normal everyday things like when I'm scared of something but also about manifestation. She helped me realize that I need to stand my ground when it comes to my desires and become a badass boss when I decree or decide, affirm or command my subconscious.

This is your reminder to fully claim and accept your desires as yours now. Stop wavering and spiraling. You have to know that you have the choice. The choice to dwell on the old story, circumstances or 3d. Whatever you see that you don't want or the choice to be stubborn in the fact that you already have it, keep saying that you have it now and stop taking bullshit from anything. Not let anything dictate whether you have it or not other than yourself.

Okay now let's move on...

YOU 👏 HAVE 👏 THAT 👏 CHOICE 👏

But do you have the courage and the badass energy to deny what you see and keep telling yourself that you have it now?

"Oh but he said he didn't like me."

"Oh I didn't get into the college I wanted"

"It didn't work. I need to do more."

Who has the power here? You have to remember all the time that YOU ARE IN CONTROL, YOU HAVE THE POWER AND IT WILL GO EXACTLY HOW YOU SAY IT WILL GO.

WHAT 👏 YOU 👏 SAY 👏 GOES 👏

You are the operant power for a freaking reason. You are in control and it's based on if you agree that you don't have it because of what you see or you deny, say no and are stubborn about you having it now.

It's simple. You either agree or disagree. Say yes or no. You have that choice and keep decreeing that you have it now no matter what happens. If that's how you are on the inside, it's done. That is what the 3d would follow if you still use that term. If only you keep telling yourself that and deciding that you have it now.

You already have it no matter what you see. You are the boss and what you say goes. If you say that you have it, you have it now. What I mean is you have the conscious choice to dwell on those things or decide now in this moment that you have it. There's nobody else who can be the best Abdullah for you other than yourself so be stubborn and slam the door in your own face and keep going to the end.

You have to do it for yourself and always go back to deciding that you have it now. You need to be your own Abdullah. No one decides for you if you have your desire or not other than yourself. You have the "choice" to dwell on that or completely claim that desire as yours every time it crosses your mind.

That's all you need to do. Decide it's yours, say "I don't care, who cares? I'm the boss I have the power. I choose. This has no power over me and it doesn't mean anything."

The 3d does not stand a chance if you keep claiming and saying that you have this desire now. The limited dead reality 3d doesn't stand a chance if you decreed that you have it and it is done. Just keep gently reminding yourself that you have it now and it is done because you are the operant power, the boss and the freaking queen or king of this reality.

Just stop separating the 3d and the 4d. That just implies more process. If you truly believe that then that's fine but I'm just here to help and tell you what I learned. If you decided that you have it, you have it period. If you keep reminding yourself that and decreeing that then it has no choice but to manifest anyway. Be careful not to get stuck in the "manifesting" phase. Have it now.

Just think that it is done and you're at the end. Feel how you would feel if it's already done and no it's not emotions. I dismiss and not give any meaning to what's happening around me and I just decree or affirm and assume that it is done. It's already here.

I would then feel like it is already here and feel myself feeling relaxed and contented and calm. Feel it real and feel that it's done.

It's time to stop being a softie and letting anything else outside of you dictate whether you have it or not.

BE 👏 LIKE 👏 NANCY 👏 FUCKING 👏 WHEELER 👏 AND 👏 STAND 👏 YOUR 👏 GROUND 👏

Do you really think that Nancy would be able to properly shoot Vecna if she was worrying and being scared of him? "Oh Vecna said she can't shoot him, he's superhuman and way too powerful!" Do you think Nancy would just agree to that and give up? NO.

It's like Vecna is the 3d when he was in Nancy's mind and the 3d said you didn't have it, would you agree to that? Be honest. Do you know how stupid that sounds? I don't mean that it's just you because I was once like this too. Letting the unwanted invade my mind instead of standing my ground, disagreeing and decreeing that all my desires are here now.

So please. Be your own Abdullah and slam the fucking door in your face, I'm reminding you once more. That means you take what you affirm or say or decree as a fact and it is done because you said it is. Nothing can ruin your manifestations if you already have it. You're the judge of it all, think in your favor and tell yourself that you have it now period! Stop waiting, stop manifesting and start having it now. Feel the feeling of relief and calm or whatever feeling comes up when you think that you have it now and it's done. Don't force it.

You have it, it's already done and it's already here!

No one can take that away from you other than yourself too. It is what you say it is so if you decide or affirm that you have all of your desires now then take that as a fact and feel how it feels now that you know that no matter what happens (unless you let it happen and agree to the unwanted), you have all your desires now and it's already here. Assume that it is. Choose to have it now period. Not in 4d and 3d and separating them. You have it now, it's already here. That's it. It's already done. Just trust in the law and relax.

Do what makes you happy because it will help you take your attention away from the unwanted things you might see. Watch your favorite shows or movies or relaxing vlogs!

Don't let Vecna (unwanted things or circumstances) or yourself take your desires from you from now on. Become Nancy Wheeler, be a boss and stand your ground. You're the operant power of your reality for a whole damn reason.

Have strong will and stop letting anyone or anything else dictate if you have your desires or not. Stop being so weak and letting Vecna a.k.a anything you don't want gain control on how your reality should be or if you have it your desires.

If it's not what you want that you see, deny and disagree. Remind yourself that you have it now.

I kept repeating the key parts of this post so you will really get it ingrained in your brain.

Don't forget that the 3d or your circumstances have no meaning other than what you give it. It doesn't have any meaning except when you give it meaning like if you say that the old story is true and you don't have it. I'm sure all of us made that mistake before. Correct it. It has no meaning. Why not think that even whatever you see means that you have it.

Literally say:

"Everything means I have all my desires."

Yours Truly,

Lady Rian Whistledown 💋

[fansids]

Welp, I've finished the season 4 special...

Anyway-

[jadehaven]

Elrond and Galadriel S2 are not the same Elrondriel from S1.

I just started my rewatch of season 1 of ROP, and immediately my interpretation of their relationship has elaborated since the events of season 2. Warning you, this is a long post, but let’s jump in ↴

S1E01

There’s one specific line that made me realize how the distance between them over the last centuries has changed their relationship. Galadriel says to Elrond:

“Why Elrond, you really have become a politician.”

This demonstrates that before their time apart, their dynamic was different. He wasn’t always this pristine, polished and polite elf. It’s almost like he is leaning *too* much into his elven side, and he’s gotten used to using it as a front. To me, it’s almost as if Galadriel misses the human side of him, but it’s been well packed away now since she’s been gone.

My interpretation is that his human side is where his weakness for Galadriel really lies. By putting it away while she’s gone, he’s made it easier to accept that they will always be different— half elf vs full elf. She will be resilient in a way which he cannot. And, she will be leaving. It’s much easier to part with someone you deeply care for if you deny the part in you that would beg them to stay if you could.

When he says to her “What you have always been; *my friend*. It pulls us out of the moment to recognize that this is where they are now, established in their “careers” so to speak, but it is not where they’ve always been. They’ve accepted that this is as far as their relationship will go, this is the full extent of their need for each other.

“What you have always been: my friend.” is also “This is the most we will ever be in this life: friends.”

They’ve never considered anything more because they have accepted that this is where the story ends. She’s a soldier, he’s a politician. But like I said, they weren’t *always* this, and perhaps, during the time of “what you have always been* there was the fleeting, yet gleaming possibility of *more*.

The days when Elrond and Galadriel would sit under the trees, Elrond reading poetry and practicing languages. Galadriel making fun of him, and other times resting in the wake of his voice- some of the only times she truly *could* rest.

Chasing each other around the river, play fighting until one is over the other, because once there was no “pristine and polished”, there was only her half human friend. The only one who saw and understood her brashness, her grief, her misalignment.

There was Elrond, who’s hunger for knowledge allowed him to catch up with Galadriel, maturing further than she, in wisdom beyond his years. The elf who one day, instead of pining her down by the strength of his hands, put her in her place with his words.

But after everything? They’ve spent so much time apart that they forgot those versions of them even existed.

The version of them where Galadriel can recognize Elrond’s words in the High King’s speech, so much so that she turns to him only to catch him mouthing the words. A split second smile that says “I know you better than anyone else.”

By the time they reunite, only a fraction of who they were are who they are together remains. And oh, how he misses it. But wisdom would be to stay where he is, and for her to go where she needs to go. And without Galadriel, there is no reminder of his human side. There is no need of it. So he will continue on as a politician elf, and nothing more. He will finally make something of himself that is worthy to be proud of.

Except, that this is actually a *second chance* story, and it doesn’t end here.

“I’ve missed you.”

The weight in that sentence. The truth that comes forth— realize, that this is a form of grief, a grief that the human in him understands. His elven side should know that he will see her again one day in Valinor, and that all is well. But not all that is in him has been put to rest. That little bit of peredhel, the faces and words that come out only when he’s deep in the mines of a mountain, far from where the sky can see him, comes out around her.

“Galadriel! It’s Elrond!”

“Prove it.”

Prove to me that you are still you, and I am still me, and we are still who we are to each other, because being with you is the only place I truly feel safe. Prove to me that that place is not lost, that I can still come back to it.

If only it was that easy.

S2

“You were my friend!.”

Why is her betrayal so personal? Some would say my perspective is far fetched, but there has to be an explanation as to why it hits to deep. Was it that trust was broken? That she didn’t listen— but wouldn’t that affect all the elves? Why does he say this one line?

Because he’s said it to himself for centuries, and he was ready to get to stop. And now she’s back, and his peredhel is back, and he has to decide what he’s going to do if he has to spend thousands more years either at or away from her side. ‘How could you stay? Why would you make it that much harder for me? For us?’

Oh, and in the mean time, she fell for the Dark Lord. He could see the affect he had on her.

She’d rather have *Sauron himself* over her *best friend*?

I’d be pissed too.

“It was entirely of your choosing.” ‘Why do I know that? Because of course you’d choose a fighter, unlike me. Of course you’d choose a human, because you like that about me. Of course you’d choose him, when you could’ve chosen me.’

“If this friendship ever meant anything to you… then you’d leave.” Sigh. He’s so tired of being just her friend.

And that is why the tension builds. That is why it’s so personal. But even in their quarrelling, there is hope, because finally, *finally* after years and years and years apart, they are the closest they’ve been to who they were before. The “I can see right through you” type of bickering. The “You’re a pain in my ass, but also the most important person to me.” kind of love. It hurts, but I’d reckon it’s better than the Polished Politician Elf and Vengeful Warrior Princess roles they were playing whilest apart.

And so it goes, as usual in a second chance story, they have the chance to either pretend for another few thousand years that the love they have for each other can still fit squished tightly inside the little box of “friendship”, or, let the walls come down and accept that you simply cannot live without loving this person to full capacity. In this case, well… let’s just say another word for *tension* is *denial*.

Maybe, a part of Elrond realizes the truth too late. Maybe only the human side of him realizes it, but it’s just enough to put a crack in the glass. Just enough to let a little bit of love bubble out and into his hands, to reach for her face, and then into his lips, to reach for hers, before retreating again. In that moment, they’re finally where they always were meant to be. If he sees her again, he will put it right. No more tension, only truth. The glass is broken and eventually all the walls will come down, one by one— starting with saving her life, even if it means denying that “oh so sure, prestigious elven wisdom” that courses through his veins.

With everything stripped away, they’re not who they were at the beginning of season 1. But I would argue, that who they were together in season 1 was not who they really are at all. Now we finally see Galadriel, as the Lady of Light, and Elrond Peredhel. Both coming around to accept their full selves, which will in turn, perhaps, allow them to accept the love they have for each other.

Maybe after nearly losing each other 3 times, they’ll come around to the fact that their story has much more weight then they’d imagine, and thus, finally finish what Tolkien put away in a box decades ago. I guess only time will alone tell, but in that time, I’ll hold onto my hope.

Thanks for reading :)

JH

[elephant-in-the-pride-parade]

Prodigy Recap

I love it I love it I love it I could watch it forever

I'm truly irrevokably in love. I'm done for. I'm probably going to rewatch this all month before I am satisfied I've fully taken it all in. I NEED to rewatch Mindwalk and Supernova again ASAP because knowing what I know now about the memories HJ had just recovered. I know it is going to wreck me to watch her in those episodes with S2 in mind.

My ship HELD HANDS GUYSSS. HE TOLD HER SHES HIS HOME. HE DIDNT FEEL LIKE HE BELONGED ANYWHERE UNTIL THEY MET. SHE BROKE TIME FOR HIM AGAIN AND AGAIN. HER EYES GOT SO BIG! THAT HUG LOOKED SO GOOD. (I'm getting off topic a lot but i need to get the "my ship is canon - in a way i don't hate!!!" fangirling out of my system.) breathe. breathe. okay gonna keep going.

Its gonna take me a few more watch throughs to fully wrap my head around the paradox. And around how you fit a humpback whale in the original ISS Voyager (seriously. has that been there the whole time? does OG Voyager have a whale? was she retrofitted in the AQ? did Mirror J steal a whale from 1996?) And if that timeline where KJ was lost on the infinity means shes also trapped on future solum with Chakotay or just dead. and and and... so many things. so many fic ideas. so many plot bunnies

(wait no -- shoves the plot bunnies away -- go away. not ready for more wips yet)

There. was. so. much. that I loved. it was such an ambitious story to tell in 2 seasons and oh my god, i really feel they mostly pulled it off. They brought back Voyagers legacy characters and put them to work in a plot that fit them, and it was such a joy to see them again. They stay true to who they were on Voyager - thoroughly wonderfully 100x better than on Voyager in Chakotays case. and i really believe theyre the same characters with a few more years of life since ive last met them.

And the new characters too. I love Dal and Gwyn and Rok and Murf and Zero and Jankom and Maj'el to pieces. (Majel!!! is such a perfect tribute!) I want to see so much more of Noum and Tysses. I am in tears over Adreek. God how much i want Season 3 just to see how their stories continue.

But I think... what strikes me most and what I appreciated the most was how much this show wholeheartedly respects its fans!!!

It never dumbs things down or babies it's younger audience. its very mature for a kids show. it is a great introduction to star trek and the universe without over explaining. there are storylines in these 40 episodes that would be right at home in TNG or Voyager. it's really more of a fun for the whole family show than a kids show in that way. (it says something that it's the first "cartoon" my parents have ever cared for and they are watching it wholely for themselves.) It really manages to tell the story in a framing thats aimed at kids without taking anything away from the story its telling for all ages.

And it's adult audience...

I worried about how it would feel to have enjoyed such a rich fanon universe in the 3 decades since the show ended. There were advantages to having a ship with very little canon. the fan universe thrived on how much room there was to work within. After that - having headcanoned and written and imagined so many futures for the characters - I feared having some new canon come in and make a new story for them that would invalidate so much if that imagination, or create something so unsatisfying or rigid or antithical to their last canon encounter that nothing new would be inspired by it. (P/C in Picard was like that for me)

Prodigy didnt do that. Prodigy made no grand sweeping canon for the years in between Voyagers homecoming and the new show. Prodigy didnt shoe horn any character into a rigid relationship status. Prodigy picked them up, set them on a new adventure, sprinkled in tantalyzing new details, and left a wealth of room around the events of the season and the relationships between the characters for so much fan imagination to thrive. The possibilities before and during and after the seasons for the characters are bountiful and perfect for imagining their other adventures. I couldnt have imagined my ship becoming canon (or maybe affirmed by the canon is a clearer way to put it) in a better way.

And then they went and added Tank Top Action Janeway in there as a treat.

Truly a masterpiece. i'm so grateful for this show. i hope it gets the 3rd season it so dearly deserves.

[averytirednerd]

About Episodes 7 and 8...MASSIVE SPOILERS!!

Initial thoughts (because if I talk about EVERYTHING right now you'll be here for at least half an hour)...

WHAT THE HELL?!

I mean I loved getting to watch the season finale, don't get me wrong. But I have just as many grievances as things I loved about it and also SO MUCH happened?!?!?!

Charlie: Loved getting to see her be all demon-y, I've been waiting all season. Also loved her and the cannibals (especially Rosie!!!). So glad she got to work w/ Luci to protect the hotel <333 She and Vaggie are adorable too.

Vaggie: I really enjoyed watching her and Carmilla's song, that was cool. Protecting her girlfriend, very cute. I liked seeing her and Lute have that little face-off.

Husk: Sad that we didn't get to see much of him, but I get it. His interactions with the others were sweet (especially Angel). I loved the one line he got to sing on his own in that last song of episode 8. 😍

Angel: Ngl I am very glad he wasn't the one to die. It would've been a fun little "oh crap" moment but I really didn't want to be right. He's still got business down there. His interactions with the others here are everything to me, and he's just grown so much and aaaaaa. It's lovely to see! I love him more and more with every episode.

Niffty: YOU GO, GIRL!!!! Love to see the stabbing. I also really loved the...one line Nifty got. Kimiko Glenn's voice is a gift, I freaked out over getting to hear one line. Anyway. not much else to say other than I definitely thought it was Alastor doing a big "oh look, I'm alive!" thing when Adam got stabbed, but I was pleasantly surprised.

Cherri Bomb/Sir P: I was surprised, to say the least, when Cherri and Sir P had that little moment. Glad they got it before he went and DIED. Cherri is such a good friend to Angel and she's great. Now, onto Sir P...WOW, OKAY. Glad we know Charlie's plan isn't completely stupid. Wonder how Sera's gonna react to him being there now, lol.

The Vees: FIRST OFF, VOX?????? "This is better than sex!" 💀💀💀 Truly was not expecting to see as much of the Vees as we did. Not complaining though. It was...interesting...to say the least, watching Vox get as excited as he did over the prospect of Al dying (still as obsessed as ever, fr). Not at all surprised to see Val and Vox have a thing going, I figured from the interactions we've seen so far. Them dancing together was silly, them practically making out was less so 😃. Also, gotta continue the love for Velvette--putting up with these two idiots must take a lot. Also also, her HAIR! HER HAIR!! EEEEE

Lucifer: I reallllyyyyyy enjoyed seeing Luci make a return to help Charlie, even if it was in one of those "last-minute saves" that I usually hate. Idk, makes sense here I guess because he's probably always watching over Charlie some way. ALSO LUCI AND CHARLIE GOING ALL DEMON-Y TOGETHER WAS <33333333 I really loved him starting off that last song in episode 8, and telling Charlie that he believes in her. It was so sweet. I love Luci sm, hoping he becomes a more integral part of the crew in s2.

Adam/Lute/Lilith: HAHA HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LOSE??? Lute got what she deserved with the whole...arm thing. ALSO WHAT--JUST GONNA CASUALLY DROP LILITH IN HERE NOW? Sure, fine, whatever, totally cool. Not sure how to feel about Lilith atm so moving on. I dunno why I was so shocked upon seeing Adam's face. I guess I expected him to...not look as good as he does? Also so upset that he broke Al's staff. How rude. He sucks.

Rosie: Not how I expected her to sound, but I'm most certainly not disappointed. I don't have much to say other than I loved literally everything about her. No complaints--at least not yet ig, need to go back and rewatch the episodes critically. Her and Alastor is everything to me, and seeing them dance was <333333 I cannot express my excitement over it enough.

Alastor: Saved him for last because yes. If I wasn't limiting myself to a short paragraph for each, I'd be writing a whole essay just about Al, I swear....CANNOT believe what just happened omg. Not only did we get to see silly Al in episode 7, but we got to see scary (and scared) Al in episode 8. He's really freaking out, it's so entertaining! I'm so glad it wasn't him who died, I started getting a bit worried for a minute there....His relationship with Rosie is aaaaa, best of besties fr. Fighting Adam scene was glorious. Making Vox act like an idiot even when not trying was funny to watch (Vox's obsession with this guy is so silly). Him retreating sure was a move, but I'm glad he didn't get all stubborn and end up dying. Him ranting a bit in his section of the final song was so...AAAAAAA. Man is so scared, he looks stressed as can be. I need to see Alastor just have an external breakdown because he honestly feels like he's on the verge of one. 💀

Stopping for now before I go on a bigger rant than I already have. To those who read all this, I'm so sorry pfft. Feel free to leave a comment if there's something you wanna discuss (or, better yet, send one of those ask thingies. I do not have comments figured out yet...)

Anyway, have a good one <3

[rapha-reads]

IWTV rewatch

Season 1 episode 6 [Like Angels Put In Hell By God] - part 2/2

- [Louis] "It was an awkward time, but I loved Claudia with all my heart, and I loved Lestat with a wounded one." - better a broken heart than no heart at all, as my Doctor would say.

- Hey, looook, estranged Father and estranged Daughter finally agreeing on something! All for the sake of Daddy, yeah, but still.

- Okay, but if Antoinette is dead, that means no Antoine during Prince Lestat… Unless Lestat is lying again. Which would make things Awkward if they do adapt Prince Lestat and follow that plotline.

- Love Louis playing mediator between his husband and his daughter. Honestly seeing myself trying to mediate between my violently divorced parents and my siblings who have each chosen their side. Fun times all around.

- Love that they sleep in the same coffin, though. Healing!!

- Aaaaw, a Nicki mention! Love Claudia's proxy jealousy, all for the game and the hatred.

[Lestat] "Nicki passed on after he and I parted ways. Took me a century to try again." - you know what, I am now firmly in support of the timeline change. Love the fact that it took a century for Lestat to love again, instead of a decade like in the book. That's my kind of star-crossed doomed romance jam.

- Ah, yep, there it is, not very dead Antoinette. Good job, Lestat. That's definitely not going to come back and bite you in the neck. "There's no place for me other than New Orleans." - 'Stat, chéri, explain to me how you think this is all going to work out in your mind.

- [Louis] "What difference would it make?" - resignation is not a good look on you, Lou baby.

- [Louis] "The numbness remained, hardened somehow into a dissociative shell, a vessel of acceptance, tortured rationalisation." - and here comes the depression with the steel chair…

- Claudia my queen, you deserve so much better.

- [Louis] "Hey sis! You don't need me. You think you do, but you don't. You're smarter now. You see trouble coming a mile away." - excuse me while I sob my heart out. Yes I know how it goes, but please give me that one moment of hope and love before turning it back to hatred and despair.

- [Louis] "But it was 1939, and the only Negro allowed in first class was the porter, and the Negro passenger rode the rear. The Negro vampire made do with what was left, which was fine with her." - oh, hello social commentary. We haven't had much of that in the past couple of episodes. Which is a shame, the 30s are such a rich and ripe decade… But I guess vampire emotional drama takes precedence over sociology.

- [Louis] "'This is the part of my story, back in San Francisco, where you said, and I paraphrase, 'Give it to me. Make me a vampire now'.' [Daniel] 'In the eyes of a 20-year-old, you were wasting the gift.' [Louis] 'You're in your 20s, Rashid. What do you think?'"

More like 520s, but potatoes, tomatoes, I guess. Their little roleplay continues to entertain me when things become too heavy.

Also I just love the serenity of this scene. The sun shining through one window, the others veiled, and the muezzin's call in the background, that's the afternoon prayer, I think, given the slant of the sun rays , the last one before night. It's a such a perfect moment. And Daniel's feeling his meds kicking up, he's starting to go under, but still bitchy and sassy.

- [Daniel] "'And divorce. And die. Save it for the rent boy.' [Rashid/Armand] 'May I be excused, Mr du Lac?'" - I wonder what made Armand react like that; to be called a rent boy, or to be reminded of Daniel's fragility and the fact that he keeps rejecting the gift, maybe in an echo of their affair in the 70s and 80s? I will die on this hill, Devil's Minion did take place between the San Fran and the Dubai interviews, and Armand ran away because he got scared of losing Daniel and both didn't want to go through the giving of the gift. But anyway, look at his face there, he's gutted. In that very subtle Armand way.

- [Louis] "If I was to join Dante's wood of the Self-Murdered, it would be another night." - it's killing me that I have to say this, but Lou sweetie, maybe put down the books for a moment and seek some help. (Me at myself: oh, like you're doing, maybe? Shush, we're talking about Louis, not me)

- [Lestat] "Germany's invaded Poland"- and history inviting herself back in the narrative through the big door.

[Louis] "'Since when do you care about humanity?' [Lestat] 'Well, I don't. But to think our sister, impulsive tot that she is, was on her way to holiday in Europe. I'm so glad she decided the better of it.'"

Sometimes this show reminds you with a big slap to the face that one of its main genre is indeed horror, including psychological horror. Ooof, that shrill music as the camera pans to the rest of the living room and Claudia sitting there panicked and then Louis's terrified face… Chilling. Oh, and Lestat making his way in the train, some more horror for us. Fantastic. I love it so much. And the music here…

- You know what is one of the worst part? Lestat is not wrong. Claudia leaving would lead to Louis walking into the sun, and Lestat absolutely cannot have that.

- And here begins the murder planning… And hello, social commentary. The fact that Claudia's argument is that she and Louis are Lestat's "slaves", given their race and history… Oh, this is going deep. Very, very deep. Claudia's playing three dimensional chess while Lestat is still parading around.

- The way she corners him in that chess game. While she's having an absolutely mind blowing mental conversation with Louis… Brilliant. Chilling. Claudia my queen you deserve everything good in the universe and your parents don't deserve you at all. And Lestat losing his mind as she refuses to finish the game, because now he's finally understanding that he's about to lose it all…

- [Louis] "We were going to kill Lestat. We were going to kill Lestat." - love how Louis repeats that, as if it's the first time he's saying it out loud for what it is.

- Oooh, hello and welcome to the 70s! Just the music choice has me vibrating out of my skin.

Louis's hairdo in '73 is glorious. And also his game at picking up boys.

[Louis] "I have an accent?", says the King of languages and accents.

[Louis] "I have what you're looking for. High quality. Befitting a man of my tastes." - the fact that he could equally be talking about drugs, sex or a story… Lou babe, you've become dangerous.

[Daniel] "'Are you a narc?' [Louis] 'I'm a vampire.' [Daniel] 'I want to interview you.'"

And thus came into being the grand vampire revolution. At least in the books. Pretty sure if Louis had known what he was setting in motion with his picking up a reporter boy in a gay bar in San Fran, he'd have run all the way over to South America instead of going to that room in Divisadero.

- Man, Danny took one look at that gorgeous black guy saying he's a vampire and said "I wanna tap that in every way possible".

Oh hello there Rashid. Lmao. Love the fact that Armand still wears his brown contacts in Daniel's dream memory, because memory is a monster and Daniel doesn't even know what he's remembering.

- Sam Reid's voice is exquisite, I cannot wait to see what Daniel Hart is going to do with Rockstar Lestat…

episode 1 | episode 2 | episode 3 | episode 4 | episode 5 | part 1 | episode 7

[flownwrong]

dS rewatch shenanigans

So me and @mannequin3thereckoning rewatched 2.04 Bird in the Hand, 3.02 Eclipse and 4.03 The Ladies' Man (or 4.05, depending on the region; I like this ordering of the episodes better, it makes the season more equally paced to me). Somehow we picked a nice equal distribution between seasons 2-4 (sorry s1, I just did not have that much free time!)

It was fun to compare the impressions between us, a person who's fresh off a rewatch and one who didn't touch dS for some years :) Unlike my rigorous friend, I don't have it in me to do a separate post for each episode. It's all pretty chaotic, but here goes:

Bird in the Hand

It was funny to notice how much easier it is to judge the pacing of an episode while also chatting about it in real time compared to a regular watch. This one is pretty much perfect!

It's a great showcase for the side of Fraser that sometimes gets lost between screen and fic, or screen and meta—his lowkey permanent annoyance with his circumstances ("I'm not sulky. I don't sulk," he said. You know, like a liar!) and his masterfully contained intense anger. It's so funny how annoyed he gets with Turnbull! Finally, someone at the consulate who gets more shit than he does haha.

Also another great example of Ray consistently ready to both stir up shit and take shit for Fraser in a highly stressful situation where Fraser's hands are tied. “He’d shoot him for you if you asked"—even Dad knows <3 Linking this wonderful art to express my endless appreciation for how well-oiled Ray and Fraser's banter is. No one does put upon like Ray Vecchio. No one.

And, I mean, the emotional centerpiece of the episode is BRILLIANT. The tone balances on the usual dS edge between wacky and weighty juuust right for juuuuust long enough via Ghost Dad, and then it cannonballs right into heartbreaking because of the Ghost Dad in the span of two lines, sustains it for one of the most effective conversations in all of dS and eases out of it by—you guessed it—Ghost Dad diffusing the tension with continuous murderous overtures.

And I think Fraser's ✨Plan✨ in this one is a rare example of his speechifying that actually bares his underbelly as opposed to only expressing his beliefs illustrated by his experiences. He's very self-aware: he says to his father, "I'm no better", I, too, can't ask for help, I, too, can't express my love and my hurts—and then he goes and does exactly that—and then he immediately follows it by turning the tables on everyone and going "ah, but I stunned you all with my emotional openness on purpose so I could get the upper hand in the stand-off"—but it works both ways, and it's clearly also him using the excuse to actually be vulnerable for a second. Man, Fraser is a thing to behold in this episode.

But you can actually see how far he's come since the pilot, and how his partnership with Ray affected him—it's cool that this happens only two episodes after Ray bullies him into admitting his dissatisfaction with his circumstances. And here he's expressing grief, not the anger, not the desire for revenge, but grief, out loud, to everyone. "You broke my heart." Jesus.

10/10 episode, highly recommended.

Eclipse

This episode is like a favourite well-worn hoodie to me. Apart from the iconic "Do you find me attractive?" exchange it offers so many joys.

It's funny (The "now it's broken and it's working" exchange and "Mom, how you've changed—into cuban cigars" are both beautiful moments).

There's Fraser's "I'm acquainted with loss and, on occasion, loneliness" line which is I think a great thing to learn about him early in the season both if you tuned into the show without seeing s1-2 and if you're Ray Kowalski.

There's the great Ray intro, doubly so because we already had the intro, and were even given a lot of the info there that Eclipse reinforces (like Ray's compulsive need to express his vulnerabilities in hope of protecting himself from being judged too harshly, but also his competence—even if my man should really keep those glasses on—and his ability to think on his feet and his obsessive tendencies and his soft romantic underbelly and I could go on, we learn so. much. stuff. by the point we hear Fraser's exposition on Ray's professional record we're not even surprised).

I love that Fraser is immediately comfortable with his new position of being the more emotionally stable one in the duo, haha—while Ray Vecchio had his insecurities and great moments of learning to trust himself with Fraser's help, Fraser is clearly both fascinated by Ray Kowalski's openness and ready to offer his shoulder to lean on, with an added bonus of being in less danger of being perceived while near this dude who constantly makes himself available for perception.

Random little notes: I really love how Ray says his own name with so much disappointment when introducing himself: "I'm... *frustrated sigh* Kowalski." I love how he tentatively asks Fraser to repeat "friend" after his declaration of friendship. I love that he's a dork who throws the dreamcatcher like a frisbee. I love the b-plot letting us hang out with the station gang a little and see them stand up for each other. I love the insane angle on Ray's face while he's being interrogated (see: my eyelashes gifset). I love the birthday party. I love the crypt as a setting, and I love everyone in that impromptu holding cell.

And, in the words of my wiser friend, "ray finding out his imposter syndrome was caused by a guy who doesn’t even remember him is so very ray". I take my hat off to everyone involved in making this episode.

The Ladies' Man, which I'm very glad my friend suggested, bc otherwise I probably would've forced her to watch it anyway, and I'm not a fan of such cruelty.

Let's get some things out of the way:

Ray looks incredibly good in this episode. It's a crime to look this good AND suffer prettily on top of that. The fact that the camera that was already pretty obsessed with CKR these two seasons gets, like, terminally stuck on him here does Not hurt matters.

I have some Questions for the episode, and I'll get to them, but it's my top one dS episode on a pure viewing pleasure level because it pushes my buttons.

Can't say much about the cold open because it's pretty much perfect, tight and tense and we get the Homoerotic Calling Off Your Rabid Dog Partner When He's Losing It Before He Kills Someone, which is a timeless classic (complete with the obvious and iconic Look at me! Look! At! Me!), and Ray and Fraser are perfect characters to act it out. CKR is on fire, no notes.

One moment I somehow forgot from my many previous rewatches that really struck me during this one is Fraser's almost casual admission of imagining murdering his father's murderers—thinking again about Bird in the Hand up there. It's a great reminder late in the show, where we see this aspect of him less often, and it's cool that he can safely share it in the face of Ray's rawness, you know, as opposed to it being a great and painful admission when he's the vulnerable one.

A brief interlude to shake my fists at the sky and wail Why, o Paul Gross, did you have to add the singing—it's not just that the joke didn't age well, it didn't even land at the time, and I don't think it would in any episode, but especially here???— and the bark tea flirting—which is par for the course as far as dS goes and could be cute but it feels totally disconnected from the rest of the scene, let alone the episode, so, again, ???? It's not that I wanted a mournful monotony of an episode with no laughs—I would pick a different show then—but like, I think better jokes could've been made. Like later in the episode, where during a climactic scene they drop the "actually, all that exposition makes me feel a little thirsty" line, it works.

Back to the point: Dixie Seatle is fucking amazing??? Her and CKR work so well together that all the noise of failed gags and nonsensical continuity of Ray's cover and whatnot is super easy to wave away because they're the emotional core of the episode, and they deliver. They have such a fragile thing going on, with him being exhausted from all the guilt and her also being exhausted from his guilt on top of the, you know, the whole death penalty thing.

Which, speaking of, UM, that's one of Thee Darkest Premises in the whole show and encountering it for the first time was a trip, during a season I was not a fan of and considered dropping. And yes many rewatches later I'm still confused but grateful about it all. The world in this episode is brutal in the way it rarely is in the show; integrity and redemption and whatnot are big motives in dS, and the big point is usually that the world, imperfect and unfair as it is, can respond to kindness with kindness and this is worth upholding. It is Not So here; scenes like the whole precinct cheering away at the prospect of Beth's impending execution are just—wow, okay.

So, as far as dS goes, this is a super solipsistic episode. It's perfectly self-contained, and even though it could have, I don't know, implications for Ray the way some of Fraser's Bad Shit did for Fraser, it just isn't addressed in the end. And I don't think it should be. It's a character study, and whoever decided they needed a very heavy one for Ray is my hero. (Note: I think this is the reason I never read a coda for this episode that I enjoyed. Having your blorbo break down in tears right in front of his boyfriend right before the credits with no follow-up kind of begs for a coda, but—newp. It works so well because it cuts off with no big resolutions.)

And whoever wrote those two closing scenes deserves a medal; to have this much restraint is an achievement for late season dS. CKR and Dixie Seatle also deserve a medal each for creating something this excruciating with super precise line deliveries and body language.

Small things my mind always catches on:

Welsh and his pink duster, looking out for Ray

CKR's rolling over the car stunt (steam comes out of my ears)

tiny flashback Ray checking his hair in the mirror at the crime scene because of course he does

Ray casually fiddling with Fraser's hat as they walk around

Sam Franklin's whole deal. I mean, there's tension there. For god's sake he pats Ray's cheek like a proud mentor he played the whole time when Ray takes his gun during his arrest. I mean. Uh. Yeah.

the fact that truepenny quit her meta right before this episode is a human tragedy

Probably like 40% of what you've read above have been brought up or articulated by @mannequin3thereckoning, so thank her for all the fun. I hope we can do this again some time <3

[tapwater118]

The Post-Split Rant, Part 2

a.k.a.: Grown Adult somehow whines about Baby Cartoon for even longer

Part 1

BFB Post-Split is my least favorite season, so I’m gonna keep whinging on about it. As a reminder to all who bother to read this, this is my opinion. It is fine if you disagree with me about something, and you probably will. This is a good thing! Disagreement invites discussion, as long as all involved are willing to discuss.

Ok let’s just get right into it.

BFB 22

THE LEAFY PLUSH IS NOW AVAILABLE!!!!! I don’t have really anything to say about the ad intro other than it’s become a vocal stim for me. Moving on.

erm taco got out and she was my favortie character so this js the wrost epistioe

Ok, but seriously.

Overall, this is a pretty fun episode! “Court case” doesn’t really sound like it would make for that good of a challenge, but they make it work! A lot of funny moments all around. Jet-flying class is a top tier bit.

That being said, I have two VERY BIG ISSUES with this episode that keep it out of my favorites list. The second one I want to save for later (after BFB 24), so let’s talk about that first one.

This episode, and the resulting elimination segment in the following episode, is the biggest middle finger to Bubble Post-Split ever pulls. She is killed off very early into the challenge, and is not recovered until the next episode. I believe this is directly responsible for her elimination. Leafy gets her moment with Firey (more on that later), Lollipop and Gelatin form their Newbie Alliance, and Teardrop has some cute moments with the typewriter. Every Have Cotter gets to do something intriguing or endearing this episode, except for Bubble. She is, quite literally, written out of the show. It’s not even like she did nothing because she’s a boring character; Bubble is a very interesting character! She was just killed off. (Honestly reminds me of how in season 1 they were pretty obviously trying to get people to vote Ice Cube out near the end, only this time they didn’t have to resort to a contestant vote to do so.)

Like I said, we’ll get to that second issue in a bit.

BFB 23

One last one-two combo on Bubble for really no reason or payoff here. Pretty much nobody remembers she even died last episode, and her elimination is by far one of the most anticlimactic in the entire series. No drum roll or anything, and she barely even gets to say bye. Spongy, the character everyone always seems to point to when people talk about characters being mistreated by the writers (rightfully so imo), had a more impactful elimination.

This episode is just bland. Challenge-wise it’s the exact opposite of BFB 22; the premise for the challenge is really interesting (A jailbreak! That’s exciting!), but they execute it in probably the most boring way possible. One team spends the whole time jumping on boxing gloves, and the other basically has a repeat of BFB 21. The Flower and Purple Face stinger is the best part of the episode.

Just wanted to mention Flower here because I’ll probably forget to do this later; she’s actually written pretty well, by Post-Split standards. I’ve seen people say she wasn’t done well by Post-Split, but I honestly don’t really see it. Post continues her character quite cleanly from Pre-Split; she wants to make friends and make amends for her past behavior, while also still being a bit rude and off-putting. Don’t really see where the issue is here. (As for why she’s like this versus her BFDI/A self, we’ll probably have to wait for IDFB to pick back up.)

BFB 24

Unless something really dumb happens in BFB 28-30 that I’m forgetting (haven’t got there on my rewatch yet), this is probably the worst episode in all of Post-Split, and maybe even the whole series. I know this is the worst episode because it was the only one during my rewatch where I checked how much time was left, saw I still had half the episode to go, and audibly groaned. Nothing happens the entire challenge except for people shitting around and talking, and the overall payoff for most of the contestants not doing the challenges is like one and a half kinda funny jokes. We barely get to see any of them getting the supplies for their parties, or setting them up, or even anything related to the parties until it comes time to judge. The intro/Cake at Stake are so much more engaging than the actual challenge portion. The best part is the Flower and Leafy team-up and even then barely anything happens. Definitely up there with the likes of BFDI 16, BFDIA 1, and BFB 5 for the “real stinker challenge segment” award.

Purple Face becomes a mainstay here, so I guess I’ll comment on him. He’s whatever. He has some good bits, but overall feels like he doesn’t bring anything new to the table. Kinda unnecessary for what Post-Split goes for (or at least tries to go for).

I’ll be completely honest and say I completely forgot about this Gelatin-Teardrop “arc” before this rewatch. It kinda comes out of nowhere too; their moments of “conflict” are not brought up as such (not even any subtle insinuation) until this point. But hey, maybe if they expand on it, Post-Split could really have something intere—aaaaaand it’s over. The same episode this “arc” is established, it gets entirely resolved. Glad that that conflict totally got fleshed out and developed to its full potential. Yup.

Ok, I said we would talk about it after BFB 24, so here we go. My second main reason for making this rant:

I do not like how Post-Split resolved Firey and Leafy’s arc

If you’re gonna disagree with me on anything in this rant, it’ll probably be this.

Let’s start with BFB 22.

First off, bozo, she DID try to talk with you, you just slammed the (soundproof) door in her face before she could get a point across. Ok time to talk about the actual writing.

As a whole, this whole scene comes off as extremely biased towards Firey. Yes, Leafy never apologized for stealing Dream Island, but Firey never apologized for both excluding her for an extremely petty reason and for ignoring her in the years since. This SHOULD have been a mutual make-up between the two. Both apologize for their misdeeds towards the other, and both promise to do better with each other moving forward.

Instead, we this one-sided argument wherein Firey is given much more pity than Leafy by the show. He isn’t even all that remorseful about how he’s treated Leafy, he’s more distraught over potentially being eliminated for stealing the diary. And Leafy, of course, offers to throw the challenge to make sure he isn’t up for elimination. Ok. Sure. Maybe that is in Leafy’s character, to help save Firey from elimination when he’s done something the viewers won’t like; she is the super nice one after all.

Anyway here’s a completely unrelated screenshot from BFB 15. Just putting this here for no particular reason.

Episode ends with them being friends again, and Firey’s only punishment for stealing the diary is to clean the railway. Yippee.

Fast forward to BFB 24: Lollipop snarks in Leafy’s direction, and Leafy tells Firey she’s upset about him not standing up for her, as well as all the time he spent ignoring her. And Firey apologizes! Great!

THIS SHOULD NOT HAVE TAKEN 2 MORE EPISODES TO GET TO!!! THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN BFB 22 WITH THE REST OF THE MAKE-UP SCENE (aside from the ferris wheel probably)!!!!! I can only imagine the crew realized how one-sided BFB 22 was to Firey, so they decide to shoehorn in this scene into BFB 24 to try and fix it. It doesn’t, and this moment feels so phoned in.

Overall, my main issue with how Post-Split handles this reconciliation is that it feels sloppy. It’s too biased towards one side, and they try and correct for that too little too late. It feels like rather than something they wanted to write, it was something they had to write, as they (correctly) predicted Firey didn’t have much more time in the game left, and if they didn’t do this now they wouldn’t get a chance to later.

Anyway, Firey gets eliminated so no more of this arc for a bit. Let’s move on.

BFB 25

Just want to mention it here, because this episode has a perfect example of it, but Four has definitely changed from Pre to Post-Split. Here Gelatin slaps Four, and instead of Four giving him a face full of zappies like Four most certainly would have in Pre-Split, Four just kinda insults him and then the episode moves on. I won’t really say whether this is a good or a bad change, but I will say I like Four much more in TPOT than in Post-Split.

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

Meme-slop aside, this is a very whatever episode. More just walking and talking, you know how I feel about these already. I do like both the detail of how Flower’s vomit-repelling sweater was what was causing the vomit-filled totem to run away from her, as well as the fact this detail goes pretty much unspoken. Certainly a nice change of pace from the amount of over-explaining characters tend to do (COUGH COUGH LOLLIPOP COUGH).

The best part of the episode happens near the very end. You know what part I’m talking about.

i need her

BFB 26

It’s the Profily episode! I guess I’ll touch on them a bit. They’re a pretty funny joke character! I can’t decide whether it’s funnier for them to have been there all along and nobody noticed, or for them to straight up be lying about everything. This is a good thing. Past that though, they’re just ok. Some good bits here and there, but after this episode they just become another face in BFDI’s minor character menagerie with nothing to really set them apart.

Nothing really to complain about here. Fun episode! Lots of silly things, and nothing stays still for too long. This and BFB 20 really show how good Post-Split could have been, I think. I do prefer 20 a good bit more, but I’d rank this one above 22.

Time to ditch the Pillary Ruins.

BFB 27

The thumbnail is the worst thing about this episode. Just look at it. Why is there just an ugly chartreuse slab on the side. Why are the characters arranged so haphazardly. What even is this composition. It barely even fits with the rest of the Post-Split thumbnails. I hate it.

What gets me is that there was a scrapped thumbnail that looked a lot better! No clue why they switched it.

I do like the desert as a setting more than the Pillary Ruins, which might be an uncommon opinion idk. The ruins always felt too cluttered to be good default backdrops, so going to something simpler is nice.

Yeah I don’t have much to say about this one, another “whatever talky bluh bluh” episode, but this does have some more funny moments than others like it so there’s that. The Flower and TD montage was silly, and it seems like they kinda set Leafy up for elimination solely because they didn’t want her in the top 3 again. Nothing really much else to say.

Actually, come to think of it, this is the last “regular” challenge before the final all-in-one challenge. Maybe escaping the oven was a callback to BFDI 22’s escaping the volcano? If so, BFDI 22 did it better.

This seems like a good time to stop for now. They’re about to bring back all of the eliminated contestants, so I’ll be touching on both Taco and Firey/Leafy again in the next and final part of this rant. We’ll also get to the third main reason I’m making this rant: BFB 30.

Part 3

[youmakethelight]

I actually might delete this blog tbh. Not that anyone asked.

I made this side blog 2 months ago bc I loved season 10 of TWD so much that I got really invested in rewatching the whole series for Carol and Daryl, and I wanted to write my thoughts somewhere instead of continuing to annoy my friends who never watched the show. But all my thoughts then were really positive and fun and brought me joy. And now, ever since I've seen the reality of the turn things took in real life, it's just so depressing.

The way Carol and Melissa McBride are treated makes me feel truly fucking horrible. And I've tried to channel that into activism and using my voice in solidarity, but I'm finding it more and more depressing honestly. Most of the voices that made me feel stronger have disappeared, and I'm starting to feel hopeless. And that's especially when I realise how much shit already went on in the past few years before I was here.

It's been a whirlwind few months for me bc I stopped watching TWD years ago and just caught up and binge watched from season 9. After I finished, I found out about everything the fandom, Melissa, and Angela Kang went through regarding the spin-off. Knowing that even after that, we got Melissa back, gave me hope. But seeing how much AMC has ignored other issues and fans' voices makes me feel disheartened. It feels a bit like I'm exerting emotional energy only to be shouting into a void.

It feels wrong to try to move on and leave because the issues remain, and Melissa McBride, in particular, needs and deserves support. But I honestly don't know what I'm doing here anymore.

A week or so ago, I signed up to a website to write fan reactions, reviews etc. about tboc because I thought that could have some positive impact. So, maybe I'll do that... but to be honest, I don't think I've got it in me anymore. I guess I just feel like I'm doing significantly more emotional labour than will have positive impact.

Even when I try to consume feminist progressive media instead, I just keep being reminded of how shit it is that AMC can't do the same for Melissa and her fans, and anybody who works on or watches the show who isn't a straight cis white man. So, then I get upset by a thought I have and go on here or twitter to try to do something positive about it, but it feels sort of pointless. So, now I'm at a point where this blog doesn't bring me joy, and I don't feel like it helps anyone, so I just don't think it's worth it anymore?

I'm literally so bad at giving up on things, so there's a decent chance I won't leave. But to be honest, I want to. I'm tired.

[animereviewsbykyranskye]

My current top 15 Anime and why

Because why the fuck not. I'm doing top 15 so that I have some variety behind it. Otherwise I would just be gushing non stop XD

Apparently numbers go big now - AND THEY GO SMALLER IF YOU TRY TO TYPE IN THE SAME LINE AS THEM???

comparison:

15

15 -

DA HECK????

(Edit: I was going to colour all the numbers because I wanted a rainbow. WHY THE FUCK FOR THEY CHANGE TO SMALL WHEN YOU COLOUR THEM??????)

Guess the titles of the anime get a small heading. Anyways. Onto the actual list!

15

Technoroid OVERMIND

Ayo. Starting out with a really random one. So if anyone were to look at my Anilist then they might be a bit confused. I decided I'd keep movies out of here as well as anything I haven't specifically finished. Also takt op. Destiny needs a re evaluation.

Anyways. This premise is so sick and I feel like they managed it really well. The characters were all really fun and the music was fantastic which is honestly the most important thing about Idol shows. I really like idol shows but often struggle with the stupid drama in them that just leads to seasons upon seasons that didn't need to happen or wouldn't actually happen.

In this they're just androids. The fantasy twist works so well for the genre and I honestly don't know why it isn't done more often. This way they can bullshit the drama and it actually makes sense.

Honestly my favourite character was Kite. He was great and his voice always gave me shivers. Especially his piece in the closing. Damn.

I don't want to go into full reviews with this, rather just gushing about things I like and stuff. I really don't think this got the recognition it deserves - probably because of it's deviation from the norm - but it would be cool to get some sort of sequel.

(Edit: There's a manga releasing apparently. Imma check that out.)

14

UniteUp!

Continuing on with the trend of idol animes apparently. UniteUp! was so good. As I mentioned in my Reviews while I watch of the show, it felt so grounded and real that other idol shows just don't seem to capture. These were all real people with real problems dealing with real life.

I also like how we had such a large cast of characters but it never really felt overwhelming as they focused on group dynamics and specific individuals rather than trying to cram every single person into their own arcs.

Once again the music was fantastic and by god was this show pretty gay. Honestly I don't know what the sentiments of others are, but the Anela duo definitely weren't straight and neither were Akira and Daiki. That bath scene says it all.

Anyways. If you want a fun time with a really solid idol anime, please check it out. I saw earlier that we're getting a season two soon. I am so looking forward to it.

13

Trigun Stampede

Damn! I don't even know what to really say about this one. The visuals are absolutely stunning - there is no doubt about that. The score and the characters are excellent. And how dare they leave us on that cliff hanger.

I have absolutely no history with this story and still need to watch and read the originally but I am really looking forward to seeing how the story adapts between the three.

You can ask my partner. I've already said we're watching everything trigun related as soon as we are done with our current show.

I'm really looking forward to season two. And especially seeing how this all pans out. Apparently there will be tears according to the fandom. Concern.

12

Re-main

Damn this show came out of nowhere for me. I watched it quite awhile ago and have been meaning to rewatch it again.

The premise is definitely a sports anime but honestly so different. All because of one thing. The fact that he is an amnesiac is such a fascinating concept to work with - especially with how he was before (trying not to spoil - can't remember when this comes up in the anime)

And then the ending?? Damn. They seriously set up that cliff hanger and I really hope this show gets a sequel.

I really can't say too much about it without giving away some spoilers but damn does it change up the formula and do it so fucking well.

11

Given

Given is great. Such a pure but heartbreaking portrayal of love on one side with such conflicting but also nurturing views on the other. Having the different realtionships throughout this is really well done how they all bounce off of each other. Especially when they entertwine it with the music.

As it is said. That is how they communicate - through the music.

I'm busy catching up with the manga and really hope the anime continues with it.

Also the fucking is just fucking gorgeous. It has no write to hit you that hard.

Also - something else that shouldn't be allowed to hit you that hard. Damn Mafuyu has had a difficult past. We love how he learns to heal and grow with Uenoyama at his side.

Anyways, moving on.

10

Bakuten!!

Okay. Who said a sports anime could be this pretty.

I love the art style and the music throughout all of this. I love the portayal and the evolution of these character - seriously all their arcs are great. The interactions of the team is so tangible and real.

I watch a lot of sports anime and I often struggle with some of the drama used within the sports - it feels like the only thing that ever fuels the story is the matches. Whereas in Bakuten - the character seriously fuel the story. You can understand their motivations much more than just - I want to play this sport and be the best!

I also feel like they really captured everything really well in the movie. The whole concept of wanting to sore is great and really well executed.

I also love the interactions they have with the other team. It's not just a once off competition or practice match that they face each other. We actually get tangible characters for the whole team and see how much they two teams are similar to one another. It's a very healthy rivalry that isn't normally this expanded on in sports anime.

9

Sasaki and Miyano

Yesssssss. These two are just absolutely amazing. Their whole story arc and relationship is just tooth rottingly sweet. They bounce off of each other so well.

And I love the fact of how slow the actual story is. They meet at the start of Miyanos first year (from what I know - I still need to read the novels) and sasaki's second and they only end up confessing just before graduation happens. It really plays out well and is so healthy.

There is no problematic elements like in so many BL stories which is such a breath of fresh air. And the fact that sasaki is very specific about making sure to maintain boundaries to ensure that miyano is comfortable is also excellent.

On a slightly different note - I still need to see the Hirano and Kagiura movie. Been dying to watch it. I've been keeping up to date with both manga and both of these stories are amazing. I love the dichotomy of the two stories and how they are coming to their own realisations of their feelings in honestly very different ways.

I also recently watched the dub of the anime due to some videos on tiktok. Fucking hell it is absolutely hilarious. Kellen Goff as Sasaki has no reason for being that good. Seriously. Damn.

8

Link Click

On a completely different note. Damn this one makes you questions your own morals and reality as you know it.

I really don't want to get into this one much as I do believe watching it blind is the best way to go.

The art style is fantastic and that opening hits like a truck it is so good. The characters just click (pun not intended) and you just understand their motivations and don't know which side to side with most of the time. It brings about such high moral dilemmas that will seriously mess with your brain sometimes and there is one episode that will likely make you cry.

Anyways. Season 2 has just started airing and I am so ready for it.

7

Buddy Daddies

Why did a show about two queer platonic dudes who adopt a child while beings assassins hit so damn hard.

The show jumps between episodes with backstory and episodes with them just being good dads and it is balanced so well. This anime won't end up getting a sequel most likely with how it ended but damn I wouldn't say no to one.

Rei is my favourite character and I relate to him far too much. His interactions with the world are so fascinating and his whole arc with Miri is honestly some of the best media I've seen.

I absolutely loved watching this show weekly and it always brightened up my day when I realised a new episode would be up.

If you would like further thoughts on this one then check the Reviews while I watch on it for more chaos.

6

No Game No Life

So. This was the first ever anime that I ever watched. It was a random recomendation from a friend. Look at where we are today.

This show is honestly just so fun. The characters are silly and the whole plot is just absolute chaos. I really enjoy the games aspect and how it was all incorporated into the world.

I can't even really say much about it. It is just a guilty pleasure of mine and will always hold a special place in my heart.

Also. Please can it just get a second season already.

5

Assassination Classroom

So. Unlike everything else on the list - this one I only finished really recently. My partner and I were watching it together. And to put it out there straight away. I cried. That ending was far too emotional.

I really enjoyed the humour throughout the whole thing as well as the constant underlying dread of the whole situation.

They also really played out Koro-senseis backstory really well. The teasing to it was excellent. I must say though that one of the twists seriously came out of left field. Like damn.

I've just recently bought the boxset and am reading through the manga. Once again. It's absolutely amazing.

Also the openings of them all jumping are absolutely fucking hilarious and you can't tell me otherwise.

If you want to know what officially sold me on the show was just in the first episode. (Note we watched in dub)

Don't ask me why but I found this to be the most hilarious thing ever. The absurdity and the line delivery was magnificent. I annoy my partner by quoting it atleast once a day.

4

Life Lessons with Uramichi Oniisan

Speaking of comedies. This show has no right to be this good. The absudist dead pan comedy in the middle of whats meant to be a TV show is such a random premise but just works so well.

Due to the nature of the show, the characters are extremely relateable. I especially love Kumatani and Kikaku.

If your on the same side of anime tiktok that I am then you have definitely seen/heard snippets of the dub.

I think this was the first anime that I originally watched in sub and then tried it in dub and actually enjoyed it. (I often find that whatever I originally watched it in is the only one I can watch it in - it's very difficult for me to change it)

The voice acting on both sides just works perfectly for the show. And that final episode and how they did it was the best thing ever.

Please just give it a try.

3

Angel Beats

Okay. Time for a hard hitter. This comedy like assassintaion classroom is fucking excellent but will make you cry, like damn.

In complete and utter contrast to No game no life, this was the second anime I had ever watched. I had found a video that gave some suggestions and thought I would give this one a try. When I say it destoryed me, I mean it literally. I constantly think about the end of this and I absolutely love revisiting it.

The twist and turns along the way are fascinating and I love how each one alters the characters and the narrative. Each of the characters feel unique - even the lesser developed side characters - with fascinating and complex backstories.

The whole thing just makes you question your own place in life.

2

Moriarty the Patriot

Another one I just randomly tried because I saw a video on tiktok. The first episode immediately pulled me in. I thought it was just going to be some simple detective story (At the time I didn't know much about Sherlock Holmes and who Moriaty was so I didn't have any of that to guide me into this story.) But nope.

I keep saying this but in this one I really mean it. The characters are built so well. The dichotomy between William and Sherlock - as the fandom would probably agree - is just amazing. How they bounce off of each other - i don't even know how to really descirbe it.

Honestly just go watch it.

And if you enjoyed the anime - please go check out the manga too. If the anime was done well - then the manga is done to lamost perfection.

This show was what got me into reading and then eventually buying manga. I now have every single one that is out.

1

Yuri!!! on ICE

Did I make the title gay? Yes.

Okayyyyy. This is just going to be me going on about how much I love this show. Bare with me.

So I was in an anime watching slump just before I picked up this show. I had been seeing some videos popping up talking about it and decided to give it a try (this was in 2020)

I immediately fell in love with this show. Literally everything about it. I ended up rewatching it three times over the course of a week. It got to a point where I was so upset that there wasn't more content for it that I just cried for half a day. (Ask my partner - it was chaos)

This show is the reason I now read fanfiction - all because I found a way to technically have more content for it.

This show holds such an important place in my heart that I sincerely cannot express it properly.

If you've never watched it - go give it a try. It would mean a lot - and hopefully one day we might get a season two.

----

Thanks for reading, if you managed to get to this point. I find it interesting how my explanations managed to slowly get shorter throughout the list as I just started becoming more emotional than factual.

I hope you enjoyed it and maybe grabbed a recommendation or two. If you'd like to know more or hear me ramble on more about anything in particular then please let me know.

[mostlyinthemorning]

Highlander Rewatch Episodes 1.2-1.6

I have been doing a very poor job of my rewatch summaries for Highlander, so here is a group post for:

1.2 Family Tree

1.3 The Road Not Taken

1.4 Innocent Man

1.5 Free Fall

1.6 Bay Day in Building A

1.2 Family Tree

It was a bold choice to have the second episode of the show focus entirely on Richie's backstory (a bold choice, but not necessarily a good one-where is Tessa's backstory episode?). Macleod is much smilier in this episode, which makes for a nice change from his usual Broody McBrooderson personality. And apparently, he cooks - get yourself a 400 year old man who knows his way around the kitchen!

There's a scene in the middle of this episode that is just Richie walking around the city talking to people with soundtrack music playing and this is the kind of television that 10-episode/season streaming has taken from us.

There are no sword fights in this episode but there are two very fun scenes where Macleod practically giggles with joy as he's defeating a couple of goons barehanded.

1.3 The Road Not Taken

I found the plot of this episode was a little weak - an old friend of Macleod's is developing a drug that will...bring peace? help humanity? something? Anyway, it does not do that, instead, it makes people strong and then kills them. Macleod is unhappy about this.

I think this is the first appearance of the classic Macleod trench coat, which is an important milestone. Richie ends the episode by kissing an old girlfriend...who is never seen on the show again. Are we supposed to believe Richie is some sort of teenage player? Annoyance with Richie's character is slowing increasing.

1.4 Innocent Man

I liked this episode quite a lot, although the ending tried to be a bit too cute in tying the past and present storylines together. Guest starring Vincent Schiavelli, who is one of those classic 80s character actors who is recognizable, but not known by name. One of Mac's old friends is killed and Mac sets out to discover the truth about who killed him. One of the best early themes for the show is how incompetent the police are in every episode. More police incompetence on today's TV, please!

I would also like to highlight this shot, which catapulted me directly back to my rural childhood in a way that would take far too long to explain.

1.5 Free Fall

Look, everyone! It's Joan Jett!

Joan Jett is the absolute bomb and I won't hear anything against her, but I will say that the moment she seduced Richie should have been the moment that everyone in this show realized she was up to something, because, come on.

Anyway, it's a wonder Macleod is still alive, what with the way he continually lets other immortals off the hook.

Much swordplay in this episode and a delightful scene where Tessa holds her own using a welding torch.

Side note: Everyone wears so many vests in this show. Did we really wear that many vests in the 90s? I guess we did.

1.6 Bay Day in Building A

I think this is the episode where the show is finally starting to find its feet. Interestingly, there's no flashback scene in this episode, nor is there another immortal. It's basically a hostage taking episode, with the twist that shooting hostage!Macleod is not going to get the results you expect.

That's all I have for now, I'll be back with random thoughts about the next unspecified number of episodes! Stay tuned!

[mrbensonmum]

TV Show - Dr. House | House M.D. VII

Unstoppably we are approaching the end of the third season (currently at S3E20, House Training), and I'm wondering, as my memory refuses to reveal, what major event occurs that causes House to reform his team or leads to drastic changes. Yes, I admit, I'm really looking forward to seeing Thirteen (Olivia Wilde) and also Martha M. Masters (Amber Tamblyn), although I think Masters might take a little longer to appear.

It's quite exciting when you've seen everything already, can remember a lot, but a rewatch helps to put all the puzzle pieces back in the right order. Yes, one could think about it, but I enjoy the suspense.

One of the scenes that made me laugh a lot back then has already come up, namely when House compares a patient's body to the German railway system. Back then, the comparison might have been somewhat accurate, and yes, even in the original, he makes the same comparison with the same cities (Berlin & Düsseldorf), but unfortunately, the German trains, whether regional or long-distance, are nowhere near as good and punctual anymore. I've been wondering the whole time if it was like that back then, but no, today it's definitely worse. Just thinking about how many times I got stranded at a train station last year, BIG UFF!

Otherwise, after the Tritter thing, things are moving rather slowly, and I don't think that's a bad thing at all. The highlight, of course, is the romance between Chase and Cameron, although it's almost over by now. I vaguely remember a wedding in the future and maybe even a divorce? No, I'm sure about the wedding, but I don't think there was a divorce. Oh, I also remember the big bus accident involving Wilson's girlfriend. There's a lot more to come!

Speaking of which, I think the dynamic between Wilson and House has changed a lot since the incident with the prescription pad. At first, it seemed like everything was over and they had no future, but now the connection seems stronger than ever. We also saw that in the story with Cuddy, when they both tested each other to see how far they would go. And then just saying "Night House!" "Night Wilson!" to each other, that's a true bromance, ladies and gentlemen! (I know, I'm late to that party!)

But now there's a very heavy episode on, as once again, an important topic is being addressed, one that often unfortunately gets overlooked in every society, Alzheimer's & dementia. Foreman's mother suffers from Alzheimer's, and I know, it really affected me back then because my grandmother died of Alzheimer's, and my mother is showing the first signs of it now. This disease steals the mind first, then the body, and we should talk about it much more and do much more against it. I know what it's like to watch a person lose themselves in the darkness of this disease, and believe me, you wouldn't wish it on anyone. Once again, a topic highlighted by the series and one that should continue to be addressed. I'm currently wondering if House is airing anywhere on regular TV in Germany, but I don't think so at the moment. That should change because yes, it can be fun and enjoyable for about 45 minutes, but it's also a topic of conversation that might find resonance in the workplace or similar institutions, and suddenly a disease is lifted from its obscurity and brought into the real world. THAT'S IMPORTANT! However, there is another important aspect in this episode that must not be overlooked. Doctors make mistakes, and these mistakes can end up being deadly! Of course, nobody wants to talk about it in the real world, and doctors usually don't admit to such things. It's another issue that's hushed up, but the series brings it back to light, brilliantly! Also, the fact that House performs an autopsy afterward for research purposes may seem strange and odd at first, but it's also about finding out where things went wrong. Yes, it's also to stroke one's own ego, but it's also to prevent such things from happening again.

I won't manage to finish the end of the third season today, but there was another remarkable appearance. In the last episode (S3E19, Act your Age), part of the supporting cast of Bones made an appearance. We saw Joel David Moore and Carla Gallo. And in the episode before that (S3E18, Airborne), Pej Vahdat was one of the passengers or Foreman's substitute.

A little thank you to everyone who diligently reads and shares my Dr. House posts. I'm just doing this for fun, but it's cool that it's well-received and my little analyses are being shared. Thank you very much!

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

SVU Rewatch thoughts 15-16

This is random but I wanted to share. I've realized how much I've changed over the years while watching this show. I was around 18 when season 16 came out and I perceive it so much differently now that I'm older and have been through more hardship and heartbreak.

When I originally watched it I was a huge fan of Nick and Amanda being together and didn't understand why their relationship wasn't truly noted and skimmed over. Rewatching it I know why. It was an absolute clusterfuck and a total mistake. It has to be one of, if not the most, toxic SVU relationship ever. They were so bad for each other. He was hurting and wanted to save her and she did not want to be a victim or saved at all. She liked to push his buttons for his reaction and he gave it. It was so BAD. Thank you, unhealthy childhood for making me not see toxic.

I also loved Amanda, and I still do like her in later seasons but she was AWFUL in season 15 to the point where I could barely stand watching her episodes and didn't really feel bad for her like I felt I should. She has no repercussions for any of her bad choices. Nick has to be a traffic cop because he beat up a pedophile but she can be a full-out dirty cop to try to get away with her gambling problem and it's okay because Murphy is there to save her? And she is sleeping with him.

Okay, just two more thoughts that I had if anyone cares.

16x1: I forgot how mean Carisi played in his first episode. Empty promises about citizenship to those trafficked girls to get them to flip- broke my heart. (Granted I've never watched seasons 17-21 so I didn't get to really see his character development but I plan to) That scene with the girl where he is yelling at her telling her to call and get somebody who will take it rough- that's what he was there for? Shit surprised me, I don't remember it at all. I love Carisi so much and would never want to change his character but he would have been so fun to watch as a suspect again or a dirty cop.

16x3: The scene with Nick and Noah confirms in my Amaro-loving heart that had the writers been nice to him and given him a healthy relationship Nick would have had a house full of adorable Latino babies. I think had he had a supportive romantic partner he wouldn't have gotten himself into as much trouble either. He had no emotional support or affection. I mean look at who he was paired with:

Maria- won't tell him their relationship is over, hides things from him and makes him jealous, totally overreacts when he does get jealous, causes huge scenes at his workplace, puts his partner/ boss in the middle of their drama, takes away his daughter that HE was raising BY HIMSELF while she was at war, makes it a hard and painful process for him to see his daughter with no leeway, tries to get him to move across the country on false pretenses of their relationship continuing, then when he says he won't let her take Zara threatens to ruin his career.

Cynthia- Please don't make me go there. I absolutely hated this whole arc.

Amanda- I already told you how I felt about this one.

The man was fucked from day one.

[thelanternlight]

I thought Beetlejuice Beetlejuice was a LOT of fun! It was spooky, visually stunning, creative, and a true successor to the original. Definitely a great movie and a new, very fun classic to add to the seasonal rotation. I say that as if the original movie wasn’t wholly beloved by me but it so fundamentally was. And is. Beetlejuice remains one of Tim Burton’s masterpieces because it was SO strange and unusual, and one of Burton’s most original concepts. When audiences first saw it in the 80s (and me in the late 90s/early aughts) we, or me specifically, had never really seen anything like it. On paper a story like Beetlejuice shouldn’t have worked. But not only does it work but it’s a cinematic milestone and one of the main works that goths and gays and weirdos point to when they talk about films that helped them understand themselves, even to accept themselves. I cannot overemphasize the importance of Beetlejuice. And in so doing I also cannot underscore its brilliance and meaningfulness in the ‘weirdo community’ without specifically calling out Catherine O’Hara who outperforms herself again and again, and who has been an icon and patron goddess of said community since the 80s, or before. Her continuation of Delia in this sequel adds to that glittering repertoire.

The one thing I can say that could have been better was that there’s a lot of ideas thrown into this movie. I’m not going to spoil anything here since it’s still in theaters but I thought some characters needed to be omitted and some storylines simplified. Having so many moving parts meant that the movie felt rushed and the audience doesn’t have time to really sit and absorb or process important moments. These are old friends that we’ve loved for decades and that have meant so much to us. We needed to have time to really understand where they are, how they’ve evolved, how their relationships work now. The movie does attempt to provide that element of reunion but it’s so fast that it’ll require a second or third rewatch to keep up with them. The one thing I will deliberately spoil (or not really) is that Beetlejuice does not get a grand entrance. He just turns up at some point. That was a missed opportunity.

However, I really appreciated that with Charles Deetz, originally played by Jeffrey Jones who undoubtedly was not invited to reprise his role due to past scandal, we knew he’d be killed off (because of the trailers) but I loved that he was still included. Again, not going to spoil anything but I liked that Charles got the acknowledgement the character deserved. With Otho, of course Glenn Shadix is sadly no longer with us, and instead of recasting him or somehow reinventing his character the movie just left him as we remember him. I think that was a classy move, to simply not even try any reductive reproduction.

Still though, B2 is truly a wonderful movie and an absolute joy. Like I said this has immediately made my annual Halloween must-watch list.

[sillybayo]

Viewing Revolutionary Girl Utena from an Aspec (mainly asexual) Lens

Some notes before I begin;

-This ramble/essay/whatever contains discussions of CSA and objectification (specifically towards a brown little girl, which contains racist implications). I mean, its quite obvious considering the show I'm talking about, but I still think this is an important warning. Also, please remember that the majority of the characters in utena are 13-17. While I don't mind a deeper discussion into their sexualities, desires, events, etc. etc., you need to remember that they're still children, and such topics need immense maturity. Please don't leave comments that sexualize the characters. It will leave me heavily disgusted.

-This is written under the assumption that Adolescence of Utena is an alternative universe, rather than a direct continuation from the show. This means that I don't think the characters in the movie remember each other nor the events from the show, and have a complete fresh start in all of their relationships.

-I'm not saying that these are the only possible interpretations or meanings, thats far from the truth. Its more so, "This event is because of this, but I also think its because of this on top of that." I just want to share my headcanons, as I think they make sense and want to give others a different perspective.

-I've only finished the show during the spring of last year, and I'm in the middle of a rewatch (somewhere in the black rose arc). I apologize if I misremember things, forgot something, or state something that lacks clarity.

-I'm perfectly aware that asexuality is lack of sexual attraction, and doesn't exactly mean that you don't enjoy sex. However, I'm using asexual (and other identities I mention here) as a general term containing both preferences. Absolutely no shame towards my acespec sex lovers, y'all rule the earth >:3!

-This is purely a thought dump, so I apologize if topics tend to bounce around, not make any sense, and/or the lack of proper episode references (like saying "when Utena and Anthy did a silly goofy dance", instead of "on episode 17, so and so"). This is really just for fun :3! I wanna put my ideas out there and want to talk about them with more people.

Now with that out of the way, I want to share why I think Utena and Anthy are acespec bambi lesbians. Lets get started ^o^!!

I'll start with Anthy. Throughout the entire franchise, she has been seen as an sexual object. In the show, this is less obvious until we're further introduced to Akio, since when people own her, shes seen as a key to revolutionizing the world, and going up to the castle illusion above. The farthest we see more romantic or intimate scenarios with Anthy and the duelists (other than Utena, of course), is her and Saionji exchanging diaries, and Mikis crush with misogynistic seasonings throughout.

Back to the topic of Akio though, he has been forcing her into sex for who knows how long, to the point where its her duty. She has only been an object to anyone and everyone she meets. Someone to project desires onto. Even Utena has accidentally done this (though it was far more tame, as she simply said Anthy wants more friends, when she, too, is lonely herself).

In the movie, this becomes much more clear. The way Saionji rubs her face, the way Touga talks about her, how Utena asks "Is this what the rose bride does?". The things she does for Akio has expanded to duelists. Once again, it has become her duty.

This is further proven when Utena and Anthy lay in bed after the first duel. She touches her, even without prior consent. Ever since I first saw this, I didn't think it was a sign of attraction, but rather, that Anthy just assumed that was what Utena wanted. This isn't the only thing that Anthy does without asking or talking it out first. She enters Utenas dorm room, she looks through her clothes. She now belongs to Utena, so she must prepare for her usual task.

So then, what if, with all of this in mind, that Anthy doesn't like sex at all? This follows the similar concept of her being a lesbian, since shes only forced to be with men, and has shown no genuine interest nor happiness towards any of them (well, not concept, as she is a canon lesbian, but you get the point).

Theres also a scene in the show where she implies that she didn't enjoy intercourse with Akio, in which he replies "Why must you torture me?" (once again, I apologize if I remembered this wrong). Theres obvious reasonings for this. One, hes her adult brother, two, shes a lesbian, and three, this is rape. But considering what I stated above, Anthy possibly being asexual is another reason.

Meanwhile, instead of being forced into romance and sex with other duelists, with Utena, theres always this more calm and comfortable air. Of course its because Utena actually cares about Anthy, and duels for friendship and love alone. But neither of them suggests sexual intent towards one another. Theres this emphasis on pure romance and patience, compared to other intimate relationships in the show and movie (keep emphasis and comparisons in mind!)

Although, Anthy could also easily be seen as demisexual, as she always chooses Utena in the end. Personally, I view the ending of the movie as nonsexual, as the removal of clothes being more about breaking out of their roles in the story, and the kissing being them finally being comfortable with their love for one another. Once again, thats just how I view it though. But Anthy growing a trustful bond with Utena is something a lot of demiaces can relate to. She can even be demiaro! Thats another wonderful read into her arc. Generally, I personally don't think Anthy is allo, and watching the franchise with amatonormativity and allonormativity in mind just doesn't feel exactly right, y'know?

Moving onto Utena, I'll be talking more about particular emphases, and how Utena acts towards sex compared to other characters in the show. Showing how one character stands out compared to all of the others, even subtly, is a writing tool often used in queer storytelling. For example, how all of the girls in monster high are boy crazy, except for Clawdeen.

Whenever Utena is put into a situation that implies sexual intimacy, shes shown to be uncomfortable. Like when she bdoyswapped with Anthy, and Saionji pulled her aside and removed a part of his clothing (only to reveal a diary though, thank goodness). When Touga constantly played with her hair or got really close to her. When Akio made continuous advances towards her, trapping her in a kiss, and eventually raping her. All of them show her either being terribly displeased, or groomed.

But she enjoys the idea of sex with girls, right? No, it doesn't seem like it. In the movie, when Anthy touches her, she immediately backs away and is clearly distressed. When she has to pose nude for a painting, she hesitates and clearly doesn't want to reveal herself, even though the task is nonsexual in nature. You could turn to the ending of the movie and say that shes interested, but I've already gave my personal thoughts on that.

Characters like Shiori, Kozue, Touga, Saionji, and Kanae, compared to her, however, don't mind about such things at all. Though for them, it could easily be read as trauma response, especially Touga. This is one of the many ways that Utena stands out instead of fitting in with the rest, and why I heavily believe she is not only asexual, but also caedsexual, akoisexual, and sex repulsed.

Andd that should be the end of my ramble! I hope you enjoyed peaking into my silly little brain. Rgu means a lot to me for many different reasons. It helped me become more comfortable with being a lesbian. It helped me figure out my gender and my relationship with it. It helped me process the trauma I was going through at the time. It improved my writing and analytical skills. Its truly my favorite show of all time, and I'm so glad I decided to watch it. My ramble may not be as metaphorical and deep as all of the other utena essays out there, but I had fun writing this :3. And to the aros, aces, and lesbians reading this,, I love you,, mwah <3

[the-gentleman-pining]

Decided to rewatch OFMD S2 eps 1-3 and actually jot down my thoughts as I go! Oh what fun! Ngl this is mostly for me babes but if you enjoy it that's neat ❤️

Episode 1: Impossible Birds

Stede bearded in his dream could just be playing to swashbuckling archetypes for funsies, but is it some lingering wish that he was more masculine?

Con O'Neil truly graceful about it with the sword huh

"WHERE IS HE. WHERE'S ED?" Stede seeing Izzy as the thing that is keeping Ed from him when he's the one that left lol ok

His idealised version of Ed doesn't hold him accountable either. My mans doesn't want to face what he did at all!!

His first words to Ed in his letter are reassuring him that the crew are safe, as if he doesn't remember that Ed marooned them and left them for dead on purpose??

I know it's meant to be funny but Jackie was a bit of a sex pest toward Swede at first and the power dynamic was a bit 🫤 Glad he was into it in the end!

WHY DOES WEE JOHN SLAM THE HEAD OF THE ONE WHO GOT STABBED INTO THE TABLE INSTEAD OF THE ONE WHO STABBED THEM?? 😂

Stede truly is unphased by people being assholes to him and I just,,, respect it.

Ricky your vibes are strange and unsettling

Who in their right mind would have an ocean wedding in the golden age of piracy?? I know they probs didn't know it was the golden age of piracy while they were in it but STILL

Ed looks so dead behind the eyes 😭 Just going through the motions eh buddy?

Dressed up like the book Blackbeard I see. God he's trying so hard to inhabit this character.

I would die for Archie. Truly the himbo we need in these depressing angst riddled times.

Jim asking someone else how they're bottling things up?? Hello?? Who are you and what have you done with Jim?? Aren't you the bottling up Master? Olu bewitched you too good and now you've unlocked Feelings 😔

"He's actually a good guy" Stede babygirl did we actually forget the marooning???

I have so much I could say about how Izzy and Blackbeard's relationship has deteriorated hhhhh,,,, Izzy is a problem child but I'm so glad the story is crashing towards his character actually growing and changing. In season 1 he at least got the crumbs Ed would throw him like "I need you here", now he's only getting abuse and maybe he's throwing himself at it because he recognises he had a part to play in reaching this point and believes he deserves it.

Fang's delivery on "how you doing Izzy" will keep me warm and fed all winter. Masterclass in approaching someone, truly tender and genuine but not too pressuring. God.

That second "unhand me" hhh the panic of realising you're going to start crying if the situation continues

Con is gonna rip my heart out and eat it this season if I'm not careful

Labour exploitation Jackie what a girlboss x

Why does "you'll be having a lot of breakfastseses together" sound so ominous though 😭 Smeagol Jackie my worstie...

Stede doing Blackbeard Voice is adorable but damn he really doesn't believe that he made Ed's life better. Like how??? Why doesn't Stede equate happiness with better? Ed was explicitly happier around you ya dingus!

Swede deserves his married bliss so much. The crew can be so mean to him!!

"What am I to you" and "I have... love for you" are said so softly I'm gonna be sick,, Izzy you fucked it by wrestling this man into this particular coping mechanism and your tenderness is coming wayyyy too late. Heartbreaking tbh cause the guy didn't know how else to help Ed and now he's realising it could have been different. Sick and twisted little dynamic I'm eating it like good soup.

Definitely supposed to be taken that Izzy didn't realise "talk it through" was a Stedeism as he said it but godddd you idiot dude

Once again god bless you Archie I'd die for you

Fang I want to rescue you hhhhhh my hot topic fashionista must be so dehydrated from all these tears!!!

No way in hell Ed expected anything else out of Izzy's mouth than something about Stede, but god I wish the guy had just payed attention to Frenchie shaking his head. The catharsis of saying the quiet part out loud wasn't worth your leg, man.

"Start by cleaning up that mess"... yeah we def see Ed is killing people himself again but outsourcing the Big Job on Izzy makes sense. He's also exactly the kind of self sabotager atm that would know Frenchie won't do it, and he's looking for reasons to Be Worse.

Indigo heist my beloved. Fuck those hammies up!! I love how loud Black Pete was omg 😂

Oh fuck off Ricky I know you're a S1 Stede mirror but you're doing it detestably

Roach why is your instinct to immediately put the blue dirt on your face darling

Zheng Yi Sao completely unphased by Jackie is giving me so much delight

Sexy Dutchman 😭😂 Jackie never change

I love that Zheng Yi Sao is taking the whole crew on just to have her lil Olu moment, get it girl

TENDER JIM IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM THEY'VE COME SO FAR. I LOVE THEIR BIG SMILE 😭 (also Archie is so wholesome what is she DOING here???)

Ed oh my god you're not alright at ALL

Frenchie's quiet "sounds like a plan" is just so... painful. The acting this season is off the charts.

When Roach asked if they were in soup now I thought he was referring to the ocean as soup I'm an idiot 😭