#going into medicine not as a calling at first but as something that was done because it was a reasonable choice (jo)
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mscherub · 8 hours ago
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Right, so…you’re transported to a new world, and me being the science geek I am, I can’t help but think of all the bacteria you wouldn’t be accustomed to in Twisted Wonderland…so imagine how bad flu season would be, or just the spreading of sicknesses around the school in general
You better have a good immune system cause oml would it be put into overdrive. Anyways…here’s my twist on what the Diasomnia boys would do in order to be helpful in your recovery ❤️‍🩹
Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, Diasomnia
Warnings!:
Sickness, obviously
Mentions of vomiting, snot, etc
To start us off…
It’s flu season in Twisted Wonderland, well you call it the flu, they call it something else you don’t even bother to learn. With you’re immune so shot and not used to the illnesses that spread around, getting sick more often that you honestly should, you woke up with a headache. Ok…nothing too serious, but you thought it to be a good idea to just take some ibuprofen equivalent in their world and “thug it out,” which ultimately lead to your current situation. Currently, you’re in the infirmary, having passed out from a raging fever and a disgustingly congested respiratory system during PE and you’re bed ridden back at ramshackle, at least until your fever goes down. Sevens bless Grim and the ghosts as they try and get you things to feel better, but you need some sort of intervention, and here comes you’re favorite person at the right time. How do they help you out?
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Malleus 🐉:
For one, he’s surprised you called upon him of all people, but hey, he’s not complaining. He’s been training for this day somewhat because Gao-Gao Drakon-kun has taught him how to take care of things and keep them alive, though, granted it’s a lot different in this case…but he can get an A for effort, at least. The thought that counts
He’ll sit by your side and ask you what exactly are your ailments, how he can help, all just to gauge what he should do…your very different from a tamagotchi—
Pillows, blankets, anything else? He’ll magic it right your way, probably casting some spell on it, possibly a relaxation one, which would be nice for your predicament
Of course he’ll also have food covered as well, what do you want? Eat it or don’t depending on how you feel, he won’t be mad at all, he’ll just be confused as to why you won’t eat, he's pretty sure humans need to eat to get better quickly, but he won’t pry
He’ll scoff at the medicines your assigned to take and he’ll go make you ancient and passed down remedies from Briar Valley, claiming they work better…and awkwardly enough they do perform a lot better than what you were taking before, so that’s a win because maybe you’ll get better even faster
He’ll let his magic do the work for cleaning.
He’s also not afraid to get sick, he’ll sit with you, he’s more than happy to. No being grossed out here, if anything, it’s quite peculiar how differently illnesses affect humans
He’ll be smug about taking care of you. This is the first time he's done this for a friend, especially as one as good as you.
Lilia 🧚‍♀️:
Bros gonna fuck around with you as soon as he sees you, sorry. But yet again, he does have that paternal side to him, and you just look so…helpless, and he’s not cold hearted, so of course he’ll stay and take care of you
Don’t let him cook, don’t if you wanna live!
If you refuse to eat what he makes you he’ll start getting snippy and uncharacteristically strict, saying how you need to eat to keep up your energy so your body can fight away this illness. Just keep refusing his food, if you’re not hungry then that should be fine and rather easy, but if you are, have him go buy you a little snack. Better than you not eating at all he’ll finally conclude to
He’s also a little iffy with the medicines, again with the cooking, he'll try to make a medicinal item out of herbs and stuff…probably toxic instead of the intended purpose, so don’t take it, trust me. “Oh? My, my…I didn’t realize it would turn out to be a poison! Silly me. Good thing you didn’t have any beastie.” he will laugh it off.
But, he’d still give you the medicines you need, don’t worry. He’s serious when he needs to be, and you’re recovery is important to him right now
He’ll mess around with Grim and the ghosts as you lie in bed, having a little fun himself, but if you need anything, he’ll change up quick and be by your side
Blankets, water, pillows, he’s got it under cover
He’s not scared to get sick himself so he’ll stay close to your side, most likely gently cooing at you and relishing in how you’re just so cute like this
Be warned he will randomly disappear at times, but if you call him he’ll pop up in front of you, upside down as usual. But, he’ll make sure Ramshackle is quiet while you rest, don’t worry
Silver ⚔️:
He’s honored to help you out, so he’ll do so without complaint
When it comes to those he holds dear, he’ll become more protective and do what he can to help them, and you just so happen to be in that group of people, and especially with your state, you’ll be pampered. Since Silver is tasked with watching over Malleus, he’ll do the same for you
What do you need? Well, he’s already on it, actually, so don’t worry.
Food he has under control definitely, man has to save himself from Lilia’s cooking all the time and he’s learned from a young age, so whatever you want he’ll conjure up real quick. Eat it or don’t, if you’re not hungry he’ll understand and save it for later
Do be patient with him, however, he has his sleepy spells and make sure Grim is with Silver if he’s cooking at that moment, though trusting Grim to take over if Silver does fall asleep isn’t really a great option, either-
Oh! He’s awake again, ok, medications, yea, right. If he doesn’t forget to give them to you after he falls asleep, then you’ll be fine. If he does forget, remind him, he’ll apologize and be right on it
When he’s not tending to you he’ll do stuff around Ramshackle, his pet peeve is idleness, so…
He’ll clean up and make sure the rest of the inhabitants are ok
After that, he’ll go back to your room and sit in the armchair, he’s not afraid to get sick, and he’ll doze off along with you
Sebek ⚡️:
Well…he’s going to chastise you severely while he helps you. He’ll say he’s only doing it because you’re Wakasama’s good friend, and that’s the only reason why, not that he’s actually doing this because he wants to and he feels bad, no, definitely not that. “Human! I shall only provide assistance on Wakasama’s behalf!”
He’ll belittle you every time he speaks, and if you have a headache already, just get good at ignoring him yap
Again just like with Silver, his duty is to watch over Malleus, so he’ll evidently do the same with you in a sense since that’s what he’s learned. He'll wait in your room, sitting in the arm chair, most likely reading.
He’s learned to cook well enough for himself, obviously, due to Lilia’s cooking, so he’ll provide you with more nutrient dense meals if you ask him to. He won’t do it unless you ask, he doesn’t wasn’t to assume
Sebek will make sure you take your medications religiously until you're better, it’s your duty, and he always follows his duties, you should, too.
He’ll clean up here and there, make sure Grim and the ghosts are in line, and he’ll grab you anything else you could possibly want, again, not without some complaint. “Humans are weak creatures!” He doesn’t really mean it in a mean way…he’s just being honest 🤷‍♀️
He’ll try and be quiet while you sleep, but forgive him if he yells at Grim at all and wakes you up-
Afterwards he’ll probably get sick himself, feel free to make fun of him then, KARMA
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IM DONEEEE! Sorry I took my sweet ass time with Diasomnia, oh lord…
Also, I realized I made each one progressively longer for each character as I progressed through the dorms, so…whoops 🧍‍♀️(I yap too fucking much-)
But hey, now I can start on a new series, just gotta come up with one- or, someone could suggest one if anyone has any ideas!
Btw, requests and asks are open!!! ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ
Master list
Please don’t steal or copy any of my work! You may, however, reblog if you’d want to!
Pictures belong to Disney Twisted Wonderland but are edited by me :)
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fauvester · 1 year ago
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this actually lived in my head all night and i had to draw it out. theyre not related by blood but they for SURE marinated in garashir's vibes
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selvepnea · 8 months ago
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Been playing Vampyr lately (not a recommendation)
#Sel talks#I wouldn't call it good per-say. But I am having fun#Love picking apart the options it gives for the main character#“None of these options are good/what I want him to say; but I can see where he's coming from”#Love picking apart the moral quandries of vampires instead of my own 👍#I have Chosen Wrong when dealing with the pillars in the surrounding communities and are essentially dead.#This makes it difficult to keep said communities “healthy” and more likely that they'll “fall”#Which made it tempting to make it fall and get the exp from it (which I wouldn't get if I let it fall)#But! I am trying my best to keep them afloat by being a little erand boy and running headache and cold medicine around#Which is tedious!!#The map is too big and there are so many goonies running around trying to kill me#But I am trying!#Really mad about the second pillar tho; probably going into spoilers for a 5 y/o game#Like I didn't really understand the implications for my choice on the first pillar; but I was so sure about Sean!#Like he found solice in what he'd become; why should I be policing his choices when I was just as destructive if not more so?#I had no clue about how long he'd been turned! It seemed like he may have helped organize the skals in the sewers??#Which couldn't have been done in a single night#Was I so wrong to believe him when he'd say he'd only eat the flesh of corpses (especially when they're in the middle of a pandemic??)#So mad#Why should I have made the decision to turn him into something else without his consent#This game is sending a lot of mixed signals#Oh! Skals are monstrous and crazy!! They are attacking you!!#Haha jk! Turns out they can be peaceful <3#Looks like ur friend turned into one :0 are you going to trust him??#Oh no!! He wasn't trustworthy!! Now he's turned 3 citizens :(#The framing is. Not The Best#To be clear! I am not recommending this!#I am having fun twisting it in a way it probably shouldn't be played that is probably only fun to me#Running the tedious hard mode by completing citizen quests; running around w drugs; not using ranged attacks; and not drinking any blood 👍#It's getting to the point where it feels like the gap of “level I'm supposed to be” and my actual level is getting to be more of a problem
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cripplecharacters · 16 days ago
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Writing a Schizophrenic Character: Everything But Hallucinations
Plain text: Writing a Schizophrenic character: Everything But Hallucinations
Hey! Mod Bert here. 
So: you’ve decided to write a character with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder (there are other disorders on the schizophrenia spectrum but I will be focusing on these for today)
You’ve done it, you have their hallucinations and maybe even delusions picked out. Maybe they are one of many who experience auditory hallucinations or maybe they also have visual hallucinations or a combination. Maybe they have olfactory hallucinations as well. They may have persecutory delusions or delusions of reference or something like Cotard’s delusion or clinical lycanthropy. Awesome, you’ve done it!
What, I hear you say? What do you mean that’s only 2 of the 5 components needed to be diagnosed with schizophrenia? What do you mean, you don’t need to hallucinate at all to be schizophrenic?
What Goes Into a Diagnosis of Schizophrenia
Plain Text: What goes into a diagnosis of schizophrenia
Not a lot of people realize there’s more to schizophrenia and schizoaffective than just hallucinations or delusions. There are 5 diagnostic criterias that are needed for schizophrenia, and only 2 of the 5 are needed for a month, with larger symptoms happening for six months or more. Let’s get into it.
Delusions
Hallucinations
Disorganized speech or thinking*
Disorganized or unusual motor behavior (catatonia)*
Negative symptoms (avolition, anhedonia, flat affect)*
I’m going to focus on disorganized speech/thinking, catatonia, and negative symptoms.
Disorganized Speech/Thinking
Plain Text: Disorganized Speech/Thinking
Schizophrenia and related disorders are often called “thought disorders” for a reason. Speech and thinking can be extremely affected, and for people like me this can be one of the first and most striking examples of an episode coming. Some people will always have disorganized symptoms that will flare during episodes. A myth is that schizophrenia can be indistinguishable with medicine: most people will have some level of symptoms even during moments of peace or “remission”. More on remission later. 
So, disorganized speech. Some examples are: word salad (schizoaphasia), thought blocking, poverty of speech (alogia), pressurized speech, clanging, and echolalia.
Word salad: a combination of words that do not make sense together. Often called schizoaphasia for its similarity to jargon in Wernicke’s aphasia, this is instead a disconnection with the brain and not due to damage to the language part of the brain.
(Example: the salad would be yellow in the fat cow).
Thought blocking: A severe loss of thought, often paired with connecting two trains of thought that are not connected
(Example: I went to the………Do you like grapes?)
Poverty of speech: A lack of organic responses to speech or organically speaking, it can be severe enough that a person only responds to questions or in one word responses. Can also happen in severe depression.
(Example: Person A: Did you do anything fun today?
Person B: Yes.
Person A: Oh, what did you do?
Person B: Store
Person A: How was it?
Person B: Fun)
Pressurized speech: A sort of frenzied way of speaking associated with psychosis or mania.
Clanging: Connecting phrases together because of what they sound like instead of meaning
(Example: I went bent tent rent).
Echolalia: Repeating word’s and phrases. Commonly also associated with Autism Spectrum Disorder. 
(Example: Person A: I went to the store.
Person B: To the store.)
These are not the only examples but they are some ones I thought I'd highlight, either because they’re well known or I have experience with them, or because they’re famously thought of with other disorders as well and I wanted to point out how things overlap.
Personal experience: I had severe alogia for the duration of my last and worst episode. People thought I was mad at them because of the clipped way I spoke and the lack of really speaking. It got me in a lot of trouble. I didn’t realize what I was saying was different or weird (I have the least insight when it comes to my speaking patterns affected by my schizoaffective, meaning I can’t hear any difference and all of this is from repeated conversations with my mom, who was my caretaker for a bit and knows the most about my speech and what it means). The best solution was talking with people and being honest and educating myself and others. I don’t know about others, but I couldn’t have used AAC at that time.
Catatonia
Plain text: Catatonia
Fun fact: catatonia means unusual motor behaviors! Any unusual motor behaviors mean catatonia. This includes what we think of when we think of catatonia in schizophrenia (inability to move) as well as the opposite (being unable to stop moving) as well as strange movements and ways of holding and moving the body! Catatonia in the DSM-5 includes 3 or more of these 12 behaviors:
-Agitation unrelated to external stimuli
-Catalepsy
-Echolalia
-Echopraxia
-Grimacing
-Mannerism
-Mutism
-Negativism
-Posturing
-Stereotypy
-Stupor
-waxy flexibility
I have some experiences with catatonia-like symptoms but since they were never identified as such I’ll skip those for now. I will say that catatonia is a symptom that can happen in many disorders besides schizophrenia as well.
Negative Symptoms! Yay!
Plain text: negative symptoms! Yay!
So a positive symptom (Hallucinations or delusions) are symptoms that add something to reality or a person. Negative symptoms are symptoms that take away. There are 5 A’s:
-Alogia (Again, poverty of speech, our favorite)
-Avolition (Lack of energy and motivation)
-Affect (Blunted affect, or a flat way of speaking)
-Anhedonia (Lack of pleasure in things that used to bring you pleasure, often thought of with depression)
-Asociality (Lack of interest in social events and relationships)
There are also often cognitive changes including thinking and memory, information recall, understanding, and acquisition, and so forth. 
Schizophrenia and schizoaffective often (but not always) happen with what’s called a prodromal period. This period can be months to years (mine was a little less than a year) and mainly consists of negative symptoms. Slowly, positive symptoms are added. There are thought to be stages to schizophrenia including prodrome, active phases, and remission.
I’ll talk about that a little for a second because I’m currently in remission and no one knows what that means. I was diagnosed with schizoaffective depressive type in January 2021. As of February 2024, I no longer qualified to be rediagnosed because my symptoms were strongly under control and no longer severe enough to qualify for a diagnosis. They also didn’t distress me or impact my daily life severely. Day to day now I still have mild symptoms and take my antipsychotics (trying to go off them have made it clear that I still have some symptoms I choose to keep medicating) but I haven’t had a delusion in 2 years and been hospitalized in 3. There’s always a possibility of another episode but I work with my team to keep myself one step ahead if that happens.
What I want from a character with schizophrenia
Plain Text: What I want from a character with schizophrenia
Alright the writing advice part. What do I want from a character with schizophrenia or schizoaffective (which is schizophrenia plus either depression or bipolar). 
-Characters with caregivers.
-Characters using coping strategies (recording hallucinations to tell if theyre hallucinations, taking medication, having service animals that greet people so they know if they’re a hallucination, using aids for the cognitive symptoms like sticky notes and organizational tools)
-Characters who know other characters with their disorder, either online or in support group or through running in similar circles
-Characters having autonomy
-Characters who aren’t the killer or horror victim. I know it’s cool to have the schizophrenic protagonist in horror, and I love horror, but I don’t want to read about the horror being symptoms the whole time
-Characters who are in magical scenarios, who are in fantasy and sci-fi. The schizophrenic princess and the schizoaffective robot technician aboard the spaceship.
-Medication and hospitalization treated casually. Sometimes we need higher care. That’s morally neutral
-Characters with negative symptoms and speech symptoms.
-Characters with catatonia! 
-Characters with other disorders as well
-characters with side effects from medicine treated casually
-Characters with cognitive symptoms
Thank you for reading this incredibly long thing! Happy writing!
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a-b-riddle · 8 months ago
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Part 9 (unrevised version). Since I've gotten 6 messages and a good bit of asks requesting to view it. Here it is, not in its final form.
You had hoped Monday would have treated you better than the past two days, but walking up to your shop in the pouring rain to already see a body standing outside waiting wasn't a good sign.
Customers who waited outside your shop always made you feel uncomfortable. But when you finally got close enough, you took in the person before you.
"We don't open for another hour." Your voice flat as you fished for your keys.
"I'll wait." Was Kyle's reply.
"Then you'll have to do it outside." You said, the key sliding into the lock. He didn't argue as you shut the door behind you. Didn't even bother knocking when, after thirty minutes, you looked in the window to see that the wind was causing the rain to blow sideways.
You relented. Letting him in thirty minutes earlier. It was a small mercy, even if he was soaked to the bone. You almost felt bad when his chattering teeth were the only thing you could hear.
Almost.
"I take it John told you about our little talk yesterday." You said, going about your business. Engaging in the conversation as if you were talking about the shitty weather that had tried to drown him.
"He did." He gave a sniffle. Running a hand over his beautiful, wet face. Droplets still staking their claim on his skin. "H-he alssso t-t-told us we were on our own in begging for our own f-forgiveness. Ra-ra- rightly s-s-s-so."
You huffed. Guilt beginning to eat at you before you turned, disappearing to the back of the store and coming back with a shirt and a blanket. "You left the shirt here."
He had no shame and wasted no time in taking off his jacket and soaked shirt. His chiseled body exposed to you. It was almost instinct to reach out and touch the soft skin. You luckily possessed some form of self restraint.
"So are you here to promise to make amends as well?" You crossed your arms. You meant it as a sign that you were wanting to create distance, but honestly you didn't trust yourself. It was second nature. Kyle and Johnny were tied when it came to having to always touch you.
Probably why his ghosting sucked so bad.
"I'd like to take you out." You couldn't help the laugh that escaped you. It wasn't until Kyle's face fell that you realized, "Oh, you're actually serious."
He opened his mouth, ready to no doubt give you the same exact promises of doing better that John had given you the day before. Fortunately for Kyle, you didn't have the time to entertain a conversation.
"Fine." You immediately relented. No argument. "That Indian place where I asked you to go four months ago. Seven. If you manage to figure out which place, then I'll be meeting you there. Otherwise you'll be eating alone."
Kyle stood still. Unprepared for the fact that you had... agreed. You actually agreed to let him take you out.
"I can pick you up."
"Not sure what time I'll be getting off today. Might go home first. Might just go straight there." You started opening tasks again. "I have to finish setting up. Seven sharp.
"Seven sharp." He repeated, his smile lighting up the room.
It made you feel sick.
It was 6:45 when your phone started ringing. It was Kyle. Confirming that he was at the restaurant you were supposed to go.
7:00. He had gotten the two of you a table. He'll go ahead and order you a drink. They had mango lassi, but wasn't sure if you wanted to stick to just water.
7:15 He tries calling you. When it goes to voicemail, a follow up text is sent asking if you're okay.
At 7:20, while sitting on the couch you text back. Sorry. Something came up. We'll reschedule, I promise.
If you knew giving them a taste of their own medicine felt so good, you would have done it ages ago. You felt no since of shame in sending it. You hated being petty, but you wanted them to know what it felt like.
John had a lot more of verbal outbursts coming his way and if Johnny was hoping for a chance, he would be lucky if you had sex with him again before marriage.
Ten minutes later, on the dot, there was a knocking on your door. Your food had arrived. Blindly, you opened the door. Only instead of the take out you had delivered, Kyle stood there. Yet again soaked to the bone and this time out of breath.
"How did you know I was here?" Was the first thing that had come into your mind. If anything, he would have went by the shop first, but no. He came here. You weren't the type to deviate from a schedule, but christ. Simon at your date and then the club. John at the shop on your day off. Now this. "I swear to fucking god this fucking stalking-"
"Easy now, Love. No one's stalking you." Bullshit.
Absolute bullshit. They were military. Really important and special connections type of military, but this was bullshit. They were keeping tabs on you somehow.
"I know for a fucking fact that place is only ten minutes away. So you didn't have time to check out my store-- where I should be-- before coming here. So I'm going to ask you again, how did you know I was here?"
"Okay," he shrugged. "Stalking. We're stalking you." Kyle was lying. We he nodded like a bobblehead, you knew whatever was coming out of his mouth was bullshit. The first time you confirmed it was after Johnny had volunteered to make haggis. Kyle told him it was good, no doubt hoping to spare his feelings.
"Kyle." You warned, eyes narrowed and teeth clenched. He paused as if trying to form another lie, but coming up short. Sighing in defeat, he confessed.
"Blocking us didn't stop you from sharing your location." In that moment, you could have strangled him. They had been still using your location. Something you had given them as a way to find you if you ever needed help. Now those assholes were using it for their own benefit.
"Son of a-" you shut your mouth. "I can't do this with you right now, okay?" You didn't confess that your publisher had asked for a last minute zoom call in the middle of your busiest work hour to see how you felt about doing a few meet and greets, all expenses paid.
Good news, but still... overwhelming. You still felt like an imposter. That you didn't deserve the hype you were getting. Your story wasn't that good. Your characters didn't hold much depth.
"Everything okay?" You didn't want to tell him. Didn't want to give him the chance to offer the reassurance you desperately needed for something he had no idea about.
"Why?" You asked, changing the subject. "I just want to know why? With John I get that the job gets stressful and needing someone to take-"
"No," he finished. "That's not an excuse. It's a reason. Not an excuse." His jaw clenched. "There is no excuse for how any of us treated you."
"Then what was your reason?" you asked. "I'm finding it very hard that someone who quite actively avoided me suddenly wants to get back together."
"I slacked off?" He shrugged. "I figured there were four of us and if I wasn't able to be there, it wouldn't make a difference."
"If you're just going to lie, Kyle, there is no point in continuing this conversation." You go to close the door only for his hand to stop you.
He stands there, looking at the ground. Even from the this angle you can see him take his bottom lip between his teeth.
He's nervous.
You step back. Giving him the option of coming in and saying it is whatever it is he needs to stay. He may be an ass like the rest of them, but this isn't exactly a conversation you want to have in the hallway for your nosey neighbors to hear.
He takes the silent invitation. Walking in and not speaking until you click the door shut. "You want the truth?" His voice is soft, but there is something else behind it. Anger?
"No," you say sardonically. "Please. Lie to me." He sighed, but didn't say anything. You were exhausted. The past few days had been a back-to-back rollercoaster of emotions. You were drained. You didn't have it in you for this right now. "Kyle-"
"I thought you only kept asking because you felt bad for me." He said the words so quickly, it took you a moment to process them. He thought.... you felt bad for him? "Like you were still trying to include me even if you didn't want to."
"Why?" Was the only thing you could come up with. You didn't have the energy to try to come up with your own reasoning for his admission.
"Don't think I don't know how I am compared to the them." He scoffed. You always knew the hierarchy of their work, even if you didn't know all the details. John was at the top. Captain and head bitch in charge. Simon was the lieutenant with Johnny and Kyle as Sergeants. Kyle was the youngest of the group by two years, but still. What was there to compare?
"So you're not a Captain or Lieutenant?" you shrug. "Johnny is the same rank as you. And you are the youngest and I'm sure with time you'll get to a position-"
"Black!" He said. "I'm black. I am the only fucking black guy not only in this relationship. I'm the only black guy in the 141, in the unit."
When it came to Kyle, black was the last thing you thought of. You thought of his soft brown eyes or house his hands felt so smooth against your body. How his smile could light up the room and how beautiful, how head-turning gorgeous he was. "I'm just an after thought in everything else regarding the 141, why would you be any different?"
"Ky," you were going to be sick. Was this how he really felt? With you? With the others? With work? "You know I don't feel that way, right?"
"Do you remember that time we went out? That french place?" How could you forget. The maître d' had asked Kyle to put a card on a tab before the two of you were even seated. At first you thought it was preposterous. Why would you make patrons at a fine dining restaurant do that? This wasn't a pub for Christ sakes. Kyle told you not to worry about it and handed over a card.
The two of you never went back.
"Oh my god." It dawned on you. "When they asked for your card..."
"I..." he sucked in a breath. Trying to keep his composure. "It was fucking humiliating. I was a man dressed to the fucking nines with a gorgeous girl on my arm and before I even got the chance to blow my money, I was treated like I couldn't afford it. It wasn't because of what I was wearing or who I was with. It was because of me. Of who I was. Who I am."
"Kyle," words escaped you. Nothing in that moment to reassure him that it never dawned on you. That it stupidly never dawned on you how there were times that people did look at him different. You wanted to tell him that it didn't matter. That you were just as important and lovable and respectable as the others. That you loved him just as much. Words failed you. All you could say say was, "I'm so sorry."
He swallowed, before taking in harsh breath through his nose. "It's not an excuse. I got wrapped up in my own stupid fucking head about how other people looked at me, I forgot it only mattered how you did."
"And you did." You said, aching to reach out. To touch him. Offer some comfort. Hating that he ever felt like he wasn't enough. Knowing the feeling all too well. Even if he was the one to make you feel it. "You did matter to me."
"I know." He said. You were thankful he said it clearly. Not shrugging his shoulders or nodding his head as he spoke. "I'll do anything to matter to you again." He took your hands in his, even though they had ached to hold you closer. But he knew not to test his luck. "If you want to press restart and let's take it back to the very beginning, I'll do that. I will court you and woo you and make you fall in love with me all over again because I will never fall out with you. I can't."
You weren't prepared for this. You had prepared to leave Kyle waiting in a restaurant alone. Now your heart ached in your chest at the idea of letting him ever think he wasn't enough because of the color of his skin.
"It doesn't have to be now or tomorrow or next week or next fucking month." He squeezed your hands the same way had John had. With the exact same intensity and promise. "Just let me try again. I won't let you down this time. I'll put in the work."
"I don't want you to feel like you have to work to make this relationship work, Kyle." You protest, wanting to pull your hands away. Free from the spell his touch had seem to be putting you under.
He smiled. Not enough to show off his teeth, but enough where have of his face lifted up. "It's not the type of work with long hours and a shit commute. Loving you is the same kind of work an artist puts into making a masterpiece. Pouring everything into it and getting something beautiful in return."
Before you could comprehend it, your face was wet. "Kyle." Your lips quivered, a sob threatening to come out. "I never felt like I needed to spend time with you, Ky." You sniffled. "I fucking wanted to. I missed you." You were so close. You needed to reel it in. Get it together.
"I just didn't understand how you could." His confession broke any restraint you had. Your hand flew to your mouth, trying to subdue your cries. When Kyle pulled you to his chest, his arms wrapping around you, you allowed yourself to crumble.
Not even for yourself, but for him.
For the kind heart you now knew broke with every sideways glance from passer-byes. For the hateful and prejudice world you lived in and for how they could overlook such a wonderful man just because of something as basic as the color of his skin.
You weren't sure how long you stood crying. You weren't certain if the knock on the door behind him actually happened or something your mind had conjured to try and pull you from your fit.
Eventually you did pull away from him. Your face covered in snot and tears. Seeing that you still were in need of it, Kyle pulled you back to him, only this time your face wasn't buried into his shirt.
You stood there. His arms wrapped around your back while yours found their home around his waist.
"I used to love when you would come back to my place directly from base as soon as you got back from a deployment." You said, breaking the silence. "I would be waiting like a kid on Christmas waiting to see what trinket made you think of me. You made me feel like even though we were so far away, you still thought about me."
"Always." He said, before his lips pressed against the top of your head. "Not a day I didn't miss being here with you."
The two of you eventually settled down on the couch. Both on opposite ends with a hot cup of tea in your hands and the array of take out containers half empty. You had planned for a night of eating your feelings so there was luckily enough food for two.
"I don't want to say no." You admitted. "But I need time. Before I even think about saying yes to all of this again."
"Not all of this," he reminded. "Just me. I'm doing my part in groveling, let the others figure it out. Or at least that's just what Price told us. Although you would be doing all of us a favor if you talked to Johnny?" Your ears perked up. You hadn't seen or heard from Johnny since Friday.
"What's wrong with Johnny?" You asked.
"Lad didn't cope well with you going on your date." Not that you had fucked him and said it was a mistake.... or maybe he kept that tidbit to himsle.f
"It wasn't a-" you started.
"I know," he said. "Simon happened to be nearby." You shot him a look, letting him know you weren't buying that lie, before he continued. "But he didn't. Fuck you're lucky we were able to drag him out of your apartment before you got back and he made an even bigger fool of himself."
"What are you talking about?" You asked. "What do you mean by drag?"
"Johnny called Simon. Told him you were on a date and to bring your ass back. Although you had made it a point to fuck him and leave-- absolutely no judgement, by the way-- he was going to make it a point to never leave your bed."
"My top sheet..." You had come home to your comforters and pillows on the floor. When making up your bed, the top sheet was missing. You had just assumed you didn't put it on or maybe it was in the wash.
"Refused to put his clothes back on. Me and John couldn't risk carrying a naked, screaming Scot through the streets without making a spectical. So we rolled him up and carried him of like a rug. A very heavy, squirmy rug."
"Oh," your hand flew to your chest. "Johnny." He was the bleeding heart of the group so you weren't exactly surprised. He was also the one who blew up shit, so he was definitely one for dramatics. "So that's how Simon figured out about dinner. But the drinks-"
"Whenever Simon is home, he's your shadow. The only time we don't worry about you is when we know he's with you." That made you roll your eyes.
"You act like he's my guard dog."
"He is."
"Is not." You defended, your conversation from Saturday night coming back to you.
"You're not my body guard, Simon." You snapped.
"Not trying to be," he said. "I was never trying to be."
"He's not." you said again.
"You're right." Kyle relented, shrugging his fucking shoulders.
"You're saying that like you're just not trying to argue with me." He took a sip of your tea. "Kyle!" He sighed before looking at you as if the last thing he wanted to do was continue on the subject.
"He is." He said. "Your guard dog."
"I mean he protects me, but all of you do." He shakes his head, a huff of air going out of his nose, almost amused.
"Not like Simon." He admits it almost as if he were ashamed. "I want to say something." He said it as if he were preparing you for the next words to come out of his mouth would change the course of the night. "I need to say it because it would make me less of a man and even less of a friend if I didn't. But I don't want you to hate me or yourself for it."
Why would you hate yourself for it?
"Fine." you agreed, giving him permission to continue. "I won't hold it against you."
"You were always the one to coordinate things to do. One-on-one dates. Helping John with paperwork when shit got to crazy and you were the only one the uptight asshole would let touch his files." You gave a small smile remembering how John had barked at a recruit to get the fuck out of his office before peppering you with kisses at your arrival. Giving small pecks of appreciation as he explained what he needed you to do and how to do it.
"Helping me after my shoulder injury and staying on my ass about the physical therapy."
"Well someone had to." You countered.
"This past Christmas when Johnny needed to get his sisters gifts so you made a whole day out of it going to see lights and ice skating." Johnny was the proud owner of a freshly bruised tailbone after landing flat on his ass and swearing off skating for the rest of his life. Feckin' ice.
"Okay?" You asked, not really sure where Kyle was headed for this. He had pointed out what a good girlfriend you were, had been. How you had always tried to be helpful and do whatever needed to help your boys out.
He stopped. He looked at you as if he were debating to tell you what he had warned you about. He looked down at the floor before taking his bottom lip in between his teeth.
"Fuck." He muttered.
"Spit it out, Kyle!" You whined, now clueless to what point he was trying to make by all the examples of what a good girlfriend you had been.
He looked at you with the same solemness that a friend looked at another friend before having to call them out on their shit, knowing that the pill they were about to be given would be a hard one to swallow.
"You never did that with Simon."
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multific · 13 days ago
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Healing the Emperor's Heart
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Emperor Caracalla x Reader
Summary: You were to care for him. Instead, you loved him.
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From the first day, you were assigned to care for Caracalla.
When you met him, his appearance startled you. 
He appeared worn and weak, a shadow of the man others whispered about in the palace corridors. 
Your role was more than that of a servant. You were trusted to tend to his every need and ensure his comfort.
Your days became routines entwined with his. Each morning, you prepared herbal remedies and charmed him into eating. 
At first, Caracalla resisted your efforts, his pride bruised by your efforts. He barely acknowledged your presence. Because if he ignored you, you would go away.
But you didn't. Instead, you stayed.
Slowly, he began to change. His eyes lingered on you longer, his tone softened when he called your name, and his occasional questions about you became sincere and kind.
One quiet evening, he decided to speak up.
“Why do you bother with me?” His voice was low.
“Because I was tasked by your brother.”
“Many would refuse such a task."
"Not me, Emperor Caracalla. I believe everyone has some good in them."
“You’re either brave or a fool.” For a moment, his expression faltered, a flicker of vulnerability shining through. 
“Perhaps both, My Emperor” You offered a faint smile with an aching heart. "Please, drink your tea." you handed him the cup which he took.
It was the first time you gave him the medicine.
After that, you gave it to him daily. A little into his daily tea which was prepared by you, so he never failed to drink it.
The medicine gradually began to take effect. 
Day by day, Caracalla’s strength grew, and his eyes got clearer and clearer. 
The haze clouding his mind slowly lifted, and his thoughts sharpened. 
The transformation was impossible to ignore, and soon enough, his brother, Geta, took notice.
It was after a rather quiet afternoon that you were summoned to Emperor Geta’s chamber. 
You felt uneasy as he looked you up and down. 
“What have you given him?” he demanded, his voice cold and sharp.
“Tea to ease his suffering, nothing more, Your Majesty.” You chose your words carefully. 
“Do not take me for a fool. My brother’s sudden recovery defies explanation. What are you hiding?” His tone grew more vicious.
"I meant no harm. And he is a lot better." you tried defending yourself.
Geta punched his chair as his anger grew.
"I'm not going to ask any more, what did you give him?"
Before you could respond, the door swung open, and Caracalla stormed in. 
“Leave them, Brother” Caracalla ordered, his voice firm.
“You trust them so completely, yet you fail to see how—”
“Enough,” Caracalla interrupted. “You will not question their loyalty. They have done more for me than the doctors ever have.”
Geta’s lips pressed into a thin line.
"I'm not angry because you helped him, I only wish to know how you did it when all doctors said we should give up." Geta's tone softened.
"Tea, My Lord I can assure you. Tea my grandmother taught me how to make." you replied.
Geta simply nodded before he left, closing the door behind himself.
Caracalla stepped closer, his expression was soft as his eyes met yours.
“You shouldn’t have come,” you murmured, your voice tinged with worry. “I could handle him.”
“I won’t stand by while my brother questions someone so important to me.”
Your breath caught, his words catching you off guard. “Important?” you echoed softly.
He reached for your hand, his touch warm and steady. “You’ve given me more than my health. You’ve given me hope. A second chance in life.”
“Caracalla…” you began, but he silenced you with a gentle look.
“There’s something I must say,” he continued, his voice low. “You’ve brought light to my life. You healed my illness and my heart. I wish to marry you.”
“Will you marry me?” Your heart raced as he knelt before you, his gaze filled with sincerity. An Emperor kneeling in front of a simple servant.
Tears blurred your vision as words failed you in the moment. 
"I would be a fool to say no to you. But I'm simply a servant. I am no Empress."
"Of course you are." He rose, pulling you close, and his lips met yours in a kiss that was tender yet full of promise. "You are my Empress."
In that moment, nothing else mattered.
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Gladiator II Collection
Taglist: 
@castellandiangelo @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl @manduse @jacalineiscomingforyou
@mandoloriancookie @deliciousfestsalad @lilliumrorum @asgards-princess-of-mischief  
@fallout-girl219 @dracaryxzs @snowtargaryen @brevlada24
@mel-vaz @akamitrani @ange-olras @nicholaschavezslut69
~Masterlist~
ˇAO3ˇ
/YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO TRANSLATE, TO STEAL OR TO REPOST ANY OF MY WORKS TO THIS OR OTHER PLATFORMS/
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bbystark · 5 months ago
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♡ simon is a bad stalker part 1 ♡
bad!stalker!simon x reader series - pt two three
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♡ masterlist ♡ request more! ♡
summary: simon being a stalker but really it's just him being sweet. price makes an appearance. mdni
a/n: as per usual this is way longer than it needs to be, enjoy
simon kind of sucks at being a stalker but it's because he doesn't really want to scare you, he just wants to be around you
he doesn't even really realize what he's doing at first, tells himself that he's only trailing you in his car as a random act of kindness, who knows what could happen to you in broad daylight walking 2 streets over to grab a coffee
he finds your number too easily, and even pays some sketchy site $20 after a pop-up promises to scrub your information from sites like the one he's on now. wouldn't want someone finding out all the information he did
you suddenly are getting way less spam calls/emails, and chalk it up to being lucky
it goes on for months, you have no idea who he is and that you're being stalked. the only inkling you have of anything weird going on is you're having terrific luck lately.
obviously, the luck is a huge war-torn man that can't seem to stop making your life easier
like one day it's raining hard after work, and you have prepared yourself to get soaked on your way to your car.
that is until you see an umbrella leaning against the building, a note with running ink that says "free" on it. talk about right place right time!
or the time your cat gets sick from eating a hair tie and you spend almost all your money on surgeries and medicine. you're starting to worry that you'll be short on rent when a literal child knocks on your door with an envelope full of money saying that he has a youtube channel and chose you randomly to give $5,000 to. what the fuck?
you're still standing motionless in your doorway with a stack of money in your hands when the kid rounds the corner, looking up at simon expectantly. "the lady took the money dude. where's my xbox?"
simon chuckles a little, handing the kid a bag from gamestop with the newest xbox in it. the little kid runs off, yelling thank you as he leaves.
then simon ramps it up a little, starts sneaking in at night to watch you sleep and go through your little trinkets. homeboy just wants to know every little thing there is to know about you
he starts showing up to the place you get coffee, where you grocery shop, etc
you start feeling like you're being watched, start hearing things at night that make you sleep a little lighter.
you figure out you're being stalked a few months later. you had started feeling so off that you began seeing a therapist, worried that some mystery mental illness is starting to creep in.
simon starts noticing that you're not sleeping as well, not smiling as much from the paranoia. so he does the next logical step of leaving you notes of reassurance
the first one is when he's watching you sleep one night, on his way out he trips over your cat who seemingly came out of nowhere. he catches himself on the wall, a dull thud echoing throughout your home.
the next morning you find a note, that simply states "sorry about the noise last night, i tripped on your cat. i'll try to be more quiet next time. yours, s."
you immediately start tweaking out. someone was in your house? and they left a fucking note? apologizing of all things?
then you realize that this has probably been going on for months
for some reason it calms you, you've been living in ignorance all this time and you always knew something was off, at least you knew what it was now
and as far as you knew your stalker hadn't done anything dangerous besides, you know, stalking you
so you stay quiet. mostly because you feel insane but a part of you also worries what would happen if you broke your stalker's routine. would he start becoming violent? would the police even have enough information to stop him?
simon takes that as acceptance and an invitation for more contact. so he starts calling you.
the first time is when you're about to leave for work. you answer with a bright "hello, this is y/n" and almost jump when a deep gravelly voice responds. "hi luv. take backroads to work today, there's an accident on the freeway, it'll probably make you late."
before you can respond you hear the "call ended" tone. you rapidly look around your street, seeing no one out of the ordinary. you say fuck it and take the freeway, not wanting to be lured into a trap or something. lo and behold, you're almost 20 minutes late to work.
the calls stop freaking you out when you realize one night, almost dazed, that whoever this man is actually helping you. like a lot.
just the other day after a girl's night out you had been struggling to find an uber around, cursing when the driver canceled on you after waiting for 15 minutes.
you're already about to cry when a black suv rolls up, a middle-aged man with impressive facial hair popping his head out of the window.
"y/n?" you hesitantly say "yes?" and take a step closer to the car.
"i'm your uber, stupid app canceled while i was on the way here. hop in." he opens his own door, tall frame making his way around to the door closest to you, opening it and waiting.
you're admittedly really drunk. and you realize that this might be a horrible idea, but for some reason the story makes sense, and you find yourself slipping into the back of the man's car.
"temp all right for you luv?" you freeze a little, the pet name feeling familiar somehow. you stay quiet, looking at him through the rearview mirror. he makes eye contact with you and suddenly you're blurting it out before you can stop yourself.
"you're not an uber driver, are you?"
he holds eye contact for a second, surprised when he doesn't see fear in your expression, just desperation for the truth. he sighs deeply and looks back at the road.
"nope" your heart leaps into your throat.
"are you..." you didn't even know what to say. "are you, him?"
price knows what you're asking. when ghost called and asked him to pick you up, he knew he shouldn't. the stupid fuck was stalking you for god's sake. but price has a soft spot for his broken LT.
"no. i'm not him."
"do you know him?"
price hesitates. "yeah. i know 'im."
you're quiet for a few minutes, briefly realizing that you're a few streets away from home. you didn't know what you expected, but actually being dropped off unharmed wasn't it.
price turns down your street and suddenly you have a million questions.
"does he hate me? does he want to hurt me? why me? what does he want?"
price puts the car and park, kind of irritated at ghost for putting him in this position and not being normal and just taking you out on a date.
"he's not gonna hurt you, y/n. he just wants to take care of you, make sure you're safe." you stare at him like he's an alien.
price decides that's all he's going to say and leans over the seat to unbuckle you. "time to get to bed youngin."
you slowly grab your purse, grabbing the car handle. you sit for a second, before turning back to the man. "thank you for the ride. and tell, him, thanks, i guess." you don't wait for a response, just get out of the car and walk up to your house.
you turn around and watch the man pull out of your driveway, speeding down your quiet street. you unlock your front door in a daze, still half expecting to be murdered at any second.
your phone rings and you answer without looking at the screen.
"y/n?" it's him. he had gotten a call from price, recapping his drive home with you and started panicking when price shared that you had clocked him not being an uber driver. he didn't know what else to do but call you and try to explain and not lose you.
"it's you."
"y/n, i-" you cut him off.
"i want to meet you."
simon realizes that he is so fucked.
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bbina · 2 months ago
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women in male dominated fields | nct dream
about: giving 7dream a taste of their own medicine pairing: situationship!dream x fem!reader notes: bbina writing about situationships again.. what's new? first attempt writing for 7dream again! if u guys have any reqs (can do texts too!) do let me know hehe
mark - hittting him up after ghosting him because he posted on his instagram story
mark realized that he got ghosted by his "situationship" as haechan likes to call it and decided to write a song about it thus prompting him to post that selfie on his instagram story not expecting that you were going to see it
after posting the selfie, he shuts his phone off as he continues to produce his new song inspired by your actions. not a little while later, his phone dings. it was a notification from instagram. mark's eyes widens reading the notification on his phone. it was from you, the one who ghosted him
[yourname] y/n (♡) Replied to your story: 😍
mark fought every demon he had inside him that was telling him to not reply but for some fucking reason he just can't resist you. he inevitably replies much to his own dismay and thus, the cycle repeats
your phone vibrates in your hand. it was a notification that mark had reacted to your dm. you can feel the smile creep up on your face when you swiped up to see him typing
[onyourm__ark] hahaha thanksss [onyourm__ark] is typing...
your smile widens when you take a wild guess what his next message was. you already knew deep in your bones what his three lettered reply
[onyourm__ark] wyd?
and so mark is back in this vicious cycle. what he gets out of this? bangers after bangers of songs of course. now there he was in his studio, eagerly waiting for your reply this time around. hopefully you won't ghost him again but who knows
renjun - not replying to him despite being online
renjun constantly sent you updates throughout his day. from what time he woke up to what he had for breakfast lunch and dinner but only to be left on delivered all day
he would try to call you but it would just go straight to voice mail and that got him worried. did something happen to you? were you busy? why aren't you replying to him?
as the day finally comes to an end, there was still no message from you
that itself should've been the message but renjun thinks otherwise. when his phone lights up, he instantly jumps on it and checks if it was you
it was
you: hey i was out with ningning today. wyd?
that was a lie. you weren't out with ningning all day. you were at home, watching movies and the such while reading his messages from the notification wall on your phone. you had put your phone on dnd just because
renjun frowns at your message. you didn't even reply to any of his messages or let alone read them?
renjun: did you not get my messages? i was texting you all day
you were on your 7th movie when your phone dings again. you let out a loud sigh, seeing that it was. from renjun and not from your friends. quickly, you typed a short reply before turning your phone back on to dnd
you: srry, my bad
and with that, renjun notices the little "y/n has notifications silenced" on the bottom of the screen renjun can only wonder how much can he take from this kind of relationship. if he says something, would you finally change your ways?
jeno — hiding things from him because you knew he'd get mad
ever since that you and jeno started hanging out more and more, things have become a little weird between the two of you. you were too afraid to ask where you were at you just ignored it despite the signs being there
if jeno isn't going to say anything about your evolving "friendship" then why should you?
now here you two were, arguing in the middle of the street after he had accidentally read a text message from someone he doesn't know about some date you two are having in the next following days
"seriously? you're going on a date and you didn't tell me?" jeno argues, throwing his hands up in the sky like you had just done something illegal
your eyebrows furrowed as you feel the anger rising. why was he acting like this if you two didn't even have anything going on?
"and why will i? it's not like we're together" you argue back
jeno stops in his tracks when your words hit him like a truck
"this is why i didn't tell you. because you're literally mad at me for no reason!" you bark, grumbling about he's being irrational as you walk away from him
your words repeat in jeno's head like a broken record "it's not like we're together"
right.. you two aren't together... is it too late for him now?
haechan — "what are we?" "im not looking for anything serious rn"
being with haechan is a constant play of tug of war. yeah you're friends. friends who kiss, who make out, who go out on dates, friends who may or may have not fucked in the backseat of his car but yeah! you're friends. best of friends even
you were on his couch, straddling his lap when haechan looked at you different for the first time
"what's with the long face?" you giggle, leaning on top of him with your hands propped on the sides of his head, trapping him in between you
haechan resisted the urge to kiss you right then and there. which was incredibly rare for the man. if this was just any other normal sleepover, he would've pounced without a second thought
"nothing" haechan suddenly stands up, pushing you off of his lap
you pout but disregard it. you grab your phone to scroll on tiktok now that the mood was kinda ruined
haechan turns to the side to take a good look at you. you look so pretty just sitting there next to him. he racks his brain up for anything he can say just to break the silence but his mind wanders about your whole being in general
how you're so nice to him, how you just click flawlessly, how you just somehow make his day better with just a quirkly little message
maybe making sure we're on the same boat wouldn't hurt.. haechan thinks to himself
you were laughing at some dumb tiktok when haechan suddenly clears his throat. you look up to see him looking back at you in the eye
"what are we?"
and it's silence after that. you were too stunned to speak. for a second there you thought he'd ask you if you wanted to play some league with him but no
you laugh awkwardly, diverting your attention back to your phone. oh look, jaehyun just posted a new cover
"y/n" haechan calls your name out, now leaning closer to you
"what?"
"answer me"
you've never heard haechan sound so... desperate? and its looking like you've stayed your welcome with how the atmosphere had severely changed in his living room. you abruptly stood up from the couch, heading towards the front door
haechan immediately follows. he grabs your hand before you could hold the door knob, forcing you to look at him
"listen hyuckie, i don't know what you want me to say.. i'm not looking for anything serious right now" you mumble, avoiding his eyes
oh.
you don't hear it but haechan's heart breaks a little. so all those intimacy were just casual for you?
"i'll see you tomorrow okay? winter is asking me to come over. see you"
with that you leave haechan's apartment, leaving him alone with his thoughts. maybe he shouldn't have asked that
jaemin — telling him that you don't want to be posted
you knew jaemin had a photography account. it was linked to his profile when you first checked his social media accounts when you guys first started talking
every time you guys would hang out, jaemin always brought a camera with him. snapping photos of whatever and posting them almost immediately on his photography account
and of course he takes photos of you whenever he could. may it be scripted or candid, you will always have a photo taken by jaemin
so when he thought that you two were going somewhere, he was ready to finally post you to his account til you say some words that shook him to the core
"can you not post me just yet? i feel shy"
jaemin was alarmed with this. did he do anything wrong for you to be shy? he was almost certain that he made sure that you had the constant assurance of being with him despite not being exclusive just yet
"why? what's wrong?" jaemin asks, worried
you shrug, "i just don't want to be posted"
jaemin had to double check if he heard you right. because from all the other flings he had in the past, they were borderline begging him to post them on any of his socials til you came along
"are you sure?
"yes jaems. i'm absolutely sure" you smile, reaching over to hold his hand to convince him further. jaemin's not 100% convinced but fine. if you say so. though if it was any other person, they'd jump on the opportunity from the get go but jaemin can only guess that you were different from the rest
what jaemin doesn't know that you're not about that commitment life for now
chenle — telling him that you're still friends with your ex
it was already rare that you and chenle go out especially with your unique (for lack of better word. chenle's words, not yours) "relationship" with him, of course you just had to run into your ex in the middle of it
"y/n, is that you?" sungchan chirps, walking closer to your table to take a closer look. your eyes widened when you realize that it was sungchan who called out your name earlier
"channie!" you greet a little too excitedly for chenle's liking. you stood up from your seat, giving sungchan, who you haven't seen in so long a quick hug
chenle's eyes narrow at the way you are so enthusiastic about reuniting with sungchan after a long time. he watches you like a hawk the way your eyes are sparkling whenever sungchan makes an attempt to make you laugh
he (chenle) coughs to catch both of your attentions. sungchan is a little startled and greets chenle
"oh sorry man, i didn't see you there. my bad" sungchan sheepishly apologizes before he tells you that he'll be on his way and that he was happy to see you again. you laugh again as you bid him goodbye, watching him walk away from your table
when you sit back down, you were met with a sulky chenle
"what?" you ask, taking note of the way chenle's eyebrows were furrowed
"what was that about?" chenle murmurs
"who? sungchan? oh, he's just a friend" you brush him off like it was nothing, taking a bite of your burger
"yeah. but he's your ex, is he not?" chenle questions, frowning at the mention of your previous relationship status
you raise a brow at the latter
"we're literally just friends and i can't just let him go. i don't know why you're so bothered about it" you click your tongue in annoyance
chenle simply shakes his head, jaw clenched. the way you just dismissed him is beyond him but he guesses he deserves it for not putting a label on whatever you two have going on
guess he'll just suck it up for now
jisung — telling him not to worry about your other friends
you and jisung had a lot of common friends than you two initially thought. so much that he himself is in disbelief that you know sion out of all people
"y/n? didn't think i'd see you around here!" sion greets, coming near you with his arms open
"sion!" you smile, hugging him back
jisung looks between the two of you. since when did you know each other?
sion catches jisung's curious stare and laughs out loud, wrapping an arm around your shoulder
"y/n and i go way back! we went to the same highschool!" sion tells jisung
you giggle, head falling back to sion's shoulder as you nod your head yes in agreement
"we were in the same friend group too" you coo, poking sion's sides
jisung can only smile awkwardly at your skinship. so you two are close? like close like that?
"alright i gotta find the others. i'll see you around?" sion says but the last bit was directed towards you instead of jisung. jisung catches a look in sion's eyes that he can't pinpoint what it was
does sion have a crush on you or something?
"okay. see you around" you wave goodbye as sion walks away. you sit back next to jisung who was now fidgeting in his seat. you two aren't exclusive but you had already confessed your feelings for each other in the past
"what's wrong, jwi?" you ask, looking over at him with concern
"... you and sion?" he asks lowly, so low that you barely caught it over the sound of the music playing on the speakers
"what?"
"you and sion" jisung says seriously, finally looking at you with sad eyes
"oh!" you gasp, catching on, "me and sion are just friends, jwi" you laugh, patting his head
"... are you sure?"
you wrap your hands around him, leaning your head on his shoulder
"i have my eyes on you, dummy" you coo, poking his nose. eventually jisung does wrap his arounds you too, hearing your words. though there's a part of him that doesn't buy it. he could've sworn that sion looked at you like that. but if you said that you two are just friends, then you two are just friends.. right?
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hitomisuzuya · 3 months ago
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scaramouche x fem!reader. fluff. scara being drunk and in love. drunk voicemails. soft scara. college au
i have aventurine smut planned, but i have wanted to write something like this for a long time. the lyrics are from somewhere only we know by keane.
scaramouche had plans to go out last night. but you didn't feel well, so you told him to go out with xiao without you. to have fun and not drink too much. he protested at first, saying "what kind of a man leaves his woman to go out when she is sick?" complete with trademark huff, and crossed arms.
scaramouche hates being without you. really, really hates it.
the next morning, feeling much better, you rolled over and grabbed your phone to check the time. you discovered you had several voicemails. you'd been so deep asleep that you didn't hear the phone ring.
they were all from scaramouche.
"fuck, you'd better be asleep, kitten," came scaramouche's very slurred voice, "i really hate the song playing. i wish you were here so my ears aren't bleeding alone. i don't know why xiao fucking loves this song. it's stupid pop crap. i miss you. fuck, i am so in love with you. you should feel my heart. it goes skip, skip when i think about you. it's kind of annoying--" end of voicemail.
he must've hit the recording limit.
"hey kitten, listen, it's a song you like. more pop crap, but the piano is kind of clutch, not gonna lie," you heard shuffling for a moment, he must've been taking his phone from his ear and holding it out so you could hear the song. after a few moments of hearing shrilled music, he must've put the phone back to his ear. "fuck what's it called again?" you heard some drunk sounding humming before the voicemail stopped.
smiling, you went onto the third voicemail. you heard somewhere only we know by keane come through the speaker again. only this time, you heard scaramouche's slurred voice singing the song to you. "i felt the earth beneath my feet. sat by the river and it made me complete. you make me feel complete."
scaramouche stumbled and hummed adorably to the part of the song he didn't know. your smile widened. "oh simppllee thing, where have you gone..yeah, kitten where are you? i miss you. i'll be he medicine that makes you feel better. fuck how does this song go?" the voicemail ended.
the fourth one immediately started with scaramouche singing, more slurred than before. you found out later from xiao that he'd fed the jukebox at the bar with 5 bucks to play somewhere only we know over and over so he could call you back to sing the parts of the song he wanted to sing to you.
"i'm getting old and i need something to rely onnnnnn. fuck hold on, i wanted to sing this part to you first..no, did you hear the made me feel complete part? you make me feel complete," you heard drinking noises and a heavy sigh.
"dude, scara, she is probably sleeping. you are going to wake her up," xiao's voice interrupted.
"fuck off, you shithead! i'm serenading my kitten! go put another dollar in the jukebox, i'm not done, she needs to hear this!" the voicemail ended.
the last voicemail started with him humming somewhere only we know. "i need something to rellyy on." at this point, he was just singing random lyrics. "wait, hold on..made me feel complete. something to rely on..xiao! xiao! these fucking lyrics, these fuckers really wrote this whole song for her," there was some shuffling noises. "xiao, we gotta go fucking kill keane!"
he was deadass convinced the band was in love with you and wrote the song for you so they could steal you away from him.
later that day, you played the voicemails for scaramouche. 'oh my god..i got so drunk last night" he said, dismayed as he pinched the bridge of his nose, an embarrassed flush on his cheeks.
"what? i thought the voicemails were sweet," you said, grinning at him. you gave him a quick kiss on his lips. "i'm keeping them." you had to say that before he asked you to delete them.
he sighed. "fine. keep them. not another soul hears them," he hissed. he was incapable of saying no to you.
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pacifierpuppy · 1 month ago
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I keep having this fantasy about being slowly gaslit into regression, being lied and tricked and by the time you realize what’s going on it’s already way too late for you to back out, heavily inspired by @crinklemommy’s captions
It starts with you accidentally starting to wet the bed. It’s not every night, it seems like a freak accident at first. But after the 3rd time in a month, your partner takes you to the doctor because she’s worried about you. The doctor examines you, runs some tests, and prescribed you some medication that should be able to help with this issue. On the way home, as you stop into the pharmacy to pick up your prescription, your partner also grabs a pack of overnight protection briefs. Just in case. Just until your new medication starts working. It’s not a shameful thing she’s not mad at you, it’s just the sanitary thing to do considering your condition. So you agree to wear them, you start taking your new pills, but it never stops. It starts getting worse, too slow to notice at first, but after a few months you’re wetting yourself more nights than you aren’t.
The breaking point comes when you have a daytime accident. You’re driving home from work, and your pants suddenly feel warm and wet, the stench of piss filling your nostrils, it’s almost too much to handle. You’re overwhelmed. You finally get home and walk inside, crying from the shame as your partner rushes to your side, trying to see what’s wrong. As soon as she sees you she realizes what happened. She guides you to the shower, re-assuring you as she helps strip you from the soiled clothes, running to grab fresh ones for you as you clean yourself and contemplate what’s going on. You hear her on the phone scheduling another appointment for you as she places the set of clean clothes by the sink for you to change into after your shower. When you’re finally done, you step out and notice a pair of your padded briefs on top of your clothes, no underwear. It makes sense, but it’s still not easy to accept you’re going to need wear these during the day as well. You’re worried. The medicine isn’t helping, you’re not sure why this is happening to you. But your partner is there to re-assure you, to get you the help you need. You two will figure this out together.
You arrive at the doctors 2 weeks later (it was the first appointment they had open) with soaked padding hidden underneath your pants. The daytime accidents had become more and more common in those agonizingly long weeks waiting for this appointment, but you’re here now, your partner is here with you holding your hand, rubbing your thumb with hers to reassure you as you sit together in the waiting room. Finally your name is called, and you have another visit with this specialist your partner found. He’s very sympathetic, he explains that this, while uncommon, is something he’s seen before. He prescribes you another course of treatment to go along with the first. It has a pretty lengthy list of side effects, but he’s confident it will work. He writes you a prescription for the new medication, re-ups your prescription for the first treatment too. It’s a lot to take in, but the finish line is in sight.
Your first week on the new medication is ROUGH. You knew there were side effects, but you weren’t expecting this. You’re incredibly tired. It’s not uncommon for you to take multiple naps throughout the day. This paired with brain fog (another side effect) makes working incredibly difficult. Your performance is slipping because you just can’t really focus on anything anymore. Those, combined with how the medication makes you grind your teeth until your jaw is sore, you just don’t know how you’d get through this without your loving partner by your side. She holds you as you cry at night, comforting you, reminding you that this isn’t your fault. It’s not a moral failing it’s a medical condition. It’s not going to be forever. You just need to wait for the medicine to take its effect, and you’ll be good to go. “It’s like Chemotherapy,” she says. “The side effects suck, but it’s better than the alternative, right?” And of course, you know she’s right. It’s just hard to keep everything in perspective.
She was by your side with solutions to every problem. Concerned by how much you were grinding your teeth, she looked for some solutions online before you wore yours down to nubs. The pacifier had been a hard sell, but she reminded you it was just like your protective briefs. It’s just what we need to do because if your condition. So every night you strapped the pacifier around your head so you couldn’t spit it out in your sleep, and you kept it on hand during the day for if the grinding got to bad. When the fatigue and confusion and lack of focus got so bad you couldn’t work anymore, she helped you get some extended sick leave from work, so you knew you’d have a job to get back when you got better. When new side effects started appearing, like your loss of fine motor control and muscle atrophy, she was more than happy to help. She would help you cut up your meals into more manageable pieces, since you had trouble working your fork and knife. She got you bottles with lids to help with how much you were accidentally dropping heavy glasses. When you started having trouble with the stairs, unable to make it up to your shared bedroom on the second floor, she helped get you set up in the guest bedroom downstairs. It was a childish room, but at least you weren’t risking those stairs multiple times a day anymore. She looked after your every need. She picked up your prescriptions on time every months, made sure you never ran out of your protection, drove you to your now weekly doctors appointments monitoring your progress, the side effects, and your continued deterioration. She took care of you, and you could never thank her enough.
When you got too weak to change out of your wet protection yourself, she helped with that too. She started buying a new brand of protective undergarments, ones that your doctor had highly recommended, with tapes. She set up a nice little table for changes in your room, and your little changes quickly became your favorite part of the day. It’s not that you enjoyed having someone change you out of your wet diapers, (and let’s face it, that’s what they are) but it was just so….. intimate. Her opening up the tapes, wiping you clean, making sure to massage the lotion into every little crevice, applying the scented powder, it was a lot more fun than you cared to admit. She made sure to give you all the attention and care you needed, making sure you didn’t feel embarrassed about this change in circumstances. After all, as she kept reminding you, it’s only temporary. Only until you get better.
As the months turned into years, the changes in your life kept piling up. When doctor switched you to an all liquid diet, your partner made sure to lovingly prepare your meal replacement shakes, even holding the bottle for you on nights when you were too weak to hold it in your own. After finding you face down on the floor one morning, having fallen out of bed and unable to get yourself back up, she replaced that guest room bed, your bed, with one that had raised walls so you weren’t at risk of falling again. When your various medications started impacting your emotions, making you cry at the drop of a hat, or get frustrated at the smallest things, she was always there to comfort you. On Valentine’s Day, after you had expressed how much you missed cuddling her at night, she got you a big stuffed bear sprayed with her favorite perfume so it was like you were holding her in your arms again. She bought you new clothes that snapped at the crotch to make changes easier, she exercised your limbs, made sure to get you out if your bed so you weren’t at risk of getting bed sores, she took care of your every need and want.
You didn’t notice her calling you “Baby” with increasingly more frequency, it had always been one of her favorite pet names. You didn’t notice her beginning to talk to you in more and more childish ways as time went on, fussing over this and that. You didn’t notice the knowing looks her and the doctor exchanged from time to time. Why would you? It’s not like she had anything to hide from you. She clearly loved you. Look at everything she was doing for you. You eventually stopped noticing the years ticking by, your condition never getting better. You forgot that was even an option, after all, you had been settled into this routine for so long now, you barely remembered what life used to be like. You hardly even questioned it when she started occasionally breastfeeding you. At that point you were so starved for that sort of intimacy you were just glad she found a way you two could still have fun like that in your weakened state. (Sex had been a physical impossibility for some time now. You could barely stand, let alone do anything like that)
By the time you did realize, it didn’t even matter. You tried to confront her, but she just laughed. After all, what could you even do about it? Who could you tell? How would you be able to survive without her? It’s not like you could go back to being a normal person after this, she had made sure of that. Even if you got away, would anyone be able to love you like this? Be able to dedicate their life to taking care of you? You were comfortable here. You had your every need taken care of. It was easier to just give in, like you had so many times before.
After all, Mama would never let anything bad happen to her baby.
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obsessivevoidkitten · 1 year ago
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Love Stings
Yandere Male Aqrabuamelu (scorpion man) x Chubby Female Reader (CW: Violent Noncon, oviposition, paralytic venom, reader gets stung, stalking, stalking, scratching, biting, claiming bites, crying, mild scent kink, blood, mild blood kink, Stockholm syndrome, kidnapping, escape attempt, general yandere behavior) Word Count: 4.7k (This was commissioned at the end of September. It is hard for me to write afab reader. Don't worry though, I do not accept payment until I am done or almost done. The customer wished to remain anon. I hope everyone likes it.)
To most people, the wastelands of Treregar were just that, wastelands. Harsh sunlight, miles of seemingly endless sand, with water sources few and far between. Nothing but the hardiest flora and fauna could survive there for any significant length of time. Let alone thrive indefinitely.
But you were not most people. You were a scientist. And to scientists, the wastes were a gold mine of research potential. Some of the strangest creatures and plants called this place home. And with the country now open to outsiders, researchers wanted to make a breakthrough there. You were in search of biological samples that could have medicinal properties.
But the wilder parts of this country were very dangerous. Especially the desert wastes. There were even reports of explorers and scientists going missing and of large chitinous beasts prowling the sands. But you were not going to be deterred by a few tall tales. The others had probably fallen prey to the harsh environment if anything.
Still... it didn't hurt to have a couple bodyguards. You had arranged an escort of a couple fairly priced and reliable mercenaries, two large men by the names of Mr. Whitley and Mr. Matthews, to accompany you while you procured samples for study.
You also came with fully stocked packs and kept to a region near a small river. You didn't believe in letting stories run your life, but there was no need to take unnecessary risks either.
The first thing you did on your arrival, after setting up a base camp with your escorts, was starting your task by taking samples of the river water and the muck at the bottom. There was a good possibility of finding new microbes that could be of interest.
The water was crystal clear, perhaps the purest you had ever seen, and there were no signs of anything dangerous. The biggest danger was the heat. Despite the water submerging your legs and wetting your arms whenever you collected a sample the heat was still stifling.
But you had known what you were signing up for when you started all this and it would only get harder as you started collecting samples outside of the water.
When you collected plant and insect specimens from the fertile banks of the river you had to keep wiping the sweat from your brow. You kept the samples preserved in a specially cooled container that would allow you to study them at length later when you were back home.
Once you had all that you had gathered that day packed away, you ate alone in your tent, Mr. Whitley and Mr. Matthews were not exactly the best company, but that was okay. It wasn’t their companionship that they were being paid for.
When you had finished your meal, if you could even call one unit of mystery field rations a meal, you decided that it would be a good idea to go to bed early. Tomorrow’s adventure would be deeper into the wastes and you would need all the rest you could manage. It was going to be a bit rough on you. You were used to working in laboratory conditions not out in the field. But you knew what you were getting yourself into.
Whitley and Matthews guarded the camp in shifts, but even under their protection you couldn’t shake the feeling like you were being watched as you settled into an uneasy sleep.
On day two of the expedition, after eating another bland ration for breakfast and refilling your water supplies, you found something before you even set out. Odd tracks outside your camp, a good bit away but they were still close enough to creep you out a bit. Whatever had made them was not small.
But you had protection from any threats and you were handy with the knife you kept in your belt at all times. And whatever had made the tracks was gone now. You put it out of your mind and pushed onward.
As the cooler morning hours passed, you were really suffering as you had to start your trek into the desert proper. The organisms suited to such a brutal environment were what you were really interested in. Far more so than what lived in the relatively cool waters.
The sun beat down upon you with all the heat it could manage but still you trudged on. Miles and miles of sand. Stopping only to diligently take new samples and record field notes any time you encountered something new and promising.
You and your guards were overheated, exhausted, and aching. But it would surely be worth it for the scientific knowledge gained by your collective suffering. You all had finally started the long march back to camp when you could have sworn you felt like you were being watched. Whitley must have noticed something off as well as he stopped your trek home to look around. But the worry was discarded when in the distance a giant wall of sand materialized as if from nowhere, It rushed towards you like a great red tidal wave.
A sudden sandstorm.
It was upon you and your escorts in a thrice, you could see nothing at all in front of you as looking up for even a moment would invite the angry sands to scratch at your delicate eyes. From all your studies on the region in your preparation for this trip you had found sandstorms to be very rare this time of year. Your luck was astoundingly terrible.
All you could do in this situation was stay low to the ground, wait it out, and hope that you and your body guards didn’t get blown away. You also prayed that they both had the good sense to not try to walk in this mess. That would only welcome disaster. Trying to stumble about in this weather was a guaranteed method to find yourself lost and stranded in the desert.
On and on the storm raged, sand scraping and biting into any exposed flesh, until finally the whirling winds gradually declined before subsiding altogether. Leaving no trace of what had just transpired except scratches on your arms and legs and the ebbing adrenaline leaving your system rendering you shaky on your feet.
You were sore and stiff from laying in the same position so long. You took a good look around you only to discover that disaster had indeed been welcomed. Neither Whitley or Matthews were anywhere in your sight. Idiots. They were large men, not easily slipped up by the storm and rolled down a hill as you were. The weather couldn’t have pushed them very far. They clearly decided to keep trying to travel despite the obvious foolishness.
Well… they were not exactly getting paid for their brain power. But they were paid to keep you safe. To guard you. And they couldn’t exactly do that if they were determined to be idiots who wandered away from you!
When you made your report they were certainly getting docked for this.
Assuming that you all met back up. You probably would. Eventually. If they lacked a compass like you did then they could just head east until they hit the river and then travel up until they hit the camp. If they didn’t have one they would have to wait a little while and see what direction the sun headed in.
The direction the sun sets actually changes a bit throughout the year, but the autumn equinox had only just transpired so it would certainly set at the most west that it was possible for it to set.
You hoped those two knew that. Surely they did.
Right then you had to focus on yourself though. Without those two you were far more vulnerable. You were not really worried about the wildlife or anything such as that, but if you became injured or something all alone then you would be screwed. Something as simple as a sprained ankle could mean your death out in this blistering environment if you were left exposed to the elements long enough.
You shouldn’t have ventured so far from camp. Your body was aching with exhaustion. You were a bit on the chubby side and your body was not used to being pushed so hard. You perked up when you saw a large figure of a man standing in the distance walking in the same general direction as you were.
“WHITLEY! HEY, OVER HERE!!”
He evidently heard you as he turned around to face your direction and started walking towards you. As you got closer you could tell that other than a few abrasions from the storm he did not seem to be in bad shape.
“I am glad I found you”
You wanted to tell him he would not have had to worry about finding one another if he had just stayed put but you thought better of it and held your tongue.
“I think something may be watching us, I don’t know. I just have an uneasiness and feel like the air has shifted with a barely noticeable scent. I lost my sword in the storm.”
“Then… we better hurry back to camp… Maybe Matthews will be there…”
“Right.”
You noticed he had undone his dagger from his belt and was holding it close, ready to lash out if something attacked the two of you. He may not have had his longer blade but you knew he was still deadly with that one. He would surely protect yo-
The sand in front of you shifted, and from it sprung a beast of colossal size. Hard black chitinous plating gleamed in the sunlight, covering a monstrous form from top to bottom. It was a hulking beast with a human shaped torso on top of the body of a massive scorpion.
Whitley, to his credit, didn’t hesitate. He dodged the tail that struck at him with terrifying speed. He jumped up high and slammed his combat knife into the chitin covered chest of the beast. His blade was deflected as if by plate armor. The tail struck again at an angle Whitley couldn’t dodge in time and his arm was impaled by a wickedly sharp stinger. He twitched in pain for a moment then went limp before being pushed aside by the clawed arm of the scorpion half of the great beast before you.
Then the thing turned its gaze to you. Unblinking, glossy, entirely black eyes stared you down. If eyes were the windows into one’s soul then those eyes let you look into the soul of a demon.
Hopeless though it may be with the speed of the monstrosity you did the only thing your fear stricken brain could think of. You ran.
You ran and you didn’t look back. Cruel though it may have been, you found yourself thinking that maybe it would let you go since it had already taken down Mr. Whitley. Many predatory beasts did not take down more than what they needed.
But the scorpion hybrid wasn’t after food. Humans were not in his diet. No, he was after something much better than a meal. He was after a mate. A nice wet cunt to stuff full of his eggs.
When Kurnugi first caught your scent in the wind a couple days ago he was instantly intrigued, he had never smelled something quite so enticing before. He had to investigate. Though a few miles away he sniffed out your camp and watched for a while.
He didn’t really like the thought of humans in his territory but he stopped himself from attacking and scaring you all away because of you. Your smell was nice, sure, but now that he had seen you he knew he had to know more. You looked so delightfully fragile and soft. He wanted to watch you a bit longer before deciding what to do with you all.
Kurnugi observed you as you went about your tasks at the river. Delicate hands carefully tending to samples. He did not understand why you were doing it, but he liked the thought of those careful little human hands tending to his dick.
At first the scorpion man thought that perhaps the two large males with you were mates of yours but concluded that wasn’t the case as they never shared your nest, never physically touched you, and hardly verbally communicated with you. They seemed to just guard you and keep a lookout.
But they had been unable to spot Kurnugi given how well he stuck to the shadows, used sand to submerge himself partially, and carefully remained downwind of his quarry.
The longer he watched the more he realized how good a mate you would make. Too weak to ever oppose or escape him and he could tell by the way you collected and analyzed your little samples that you must be very intelligent. And you were just so much softer than anything he had ever encountered in this rugged environment. Surely if you were in a place as brutal as this then you’d need much better and dedicated protection than the ones you seemed to call Whitley and Matthews.
Kurnugi was much larger and stronger than any two humans, of course, no matter how well built they were. But they had long metal blades that may be able to get between his natural armor plates. Better to stalk your group for a while and wait for a moment of weakness.
He discreetly followed your party as you traveled away from your base camp and readied himself to attack when he noticed how tired all of you looked. Then the sandstorm struck.
Even a desert evolved being such as a mighty aqrabuamelu would not travel during a sandstorm.
When it passed he could tell by the scents he detected that your group was split up. This was even better. First he went after Matthews, then incapacitated Whitley before your very eyes. He had made sure not to kill them. No, they would surely be taken and bred by other desert creatures. There were many that loved humans.
And then there was you. It was cute how you thought you could escape from him so easily. He allowed you to try, watching in amusement as your tired chubby legs did their best to carry you away from him.
And then he rushed towards you, he closed the distance in surprisingly few seconds and stabbed your soft rear with the tip of his stinger. He was careful not to stab too deeply, but it was still pretty painful. You thrashed for a few seconds before crumpling to the sand.
The venom had paralyzed you, no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t get your limbs to cooperate at all. You could still feel everything though. The sand on your face, the tears about to burst from your eyes. You were certain death was what awaited you.
Instead the scorpion simply bent over to gently scoop you up in his humanoid arms. He held you close and buried his nose in your neck to revel in the intoxicating smell of his new mate, now finally in his possession.
The amorous aqrabuamelu rushed off to his den, holding you tightly to his hard body as he did so. He was excited to get you acclimated to your new home, and to his cock. He was sure after his displays of strength that he would have you moaning for his eggs in no time. Luckily his home wasn’t too far.
The entire trip he happily talked in a chittery voice to you, though you had absolutely no idea what he was saying. He sounded extremely excited though and rubbed your back soothingly as he spoke.
When he came to the entrance to his abode and scuttled into the cave in such a hurry that he almost tripped over himself. He placed you, all nice and paralyzed for him, on his raised pile of bedding and made short work of your clothing. Every inch of skin from your soft human breasts to your inviting pussy were laid bare under his hungry gaze.
He pulled you to the edge of his nest over to where he was standing. He gripped your thighs with his large hands and slowly spread your legs, as if unwrapping a precious gift. Savoring the moment before it was entirely open.
The venom was still coursing effectively through your veins, offering you no recourse. You could only stare into the terrifying red eyes of this abomination as he looked at you and drooled. His intent with you becoming all the more evident as his engorged cock protruded fully from the genital slit at the meeting of his scorpion and humanoid body segments.
There was no way something like that could enter a human without some degree of pain.
Seeing it you wanted to scream. To kick and fight. But you were a prisoner in your own body. All the struggle you could force out of your body were choked cries and grunts of fear.
The scorpion caressed your sides in a gesture meant to be comforting to his scared little mate, but any touch from him only brought about more terror.
He crouched down at the edge of the bed so that his head was level with your crotch. He inhaled the scent deeply before licking the outer folds of your sex.
"Mmmm~"
You could feel it in your entire body as he hummed loudly in contentment. Your flavor was better than he could have imagined.
Your cunt was wetter than it had ever been before. A fact that made you all the more frustrated and angry at yourself. It was bad enough you couldn't get your body to move.
Kurnugi was making out with your entrance, gripping your hips painfully and drawing blood as he lost himself in thoughts about you carrying his spawn.
He enjoyed every heavenly drop of your juices, mixing in a heavy amount of his saliva into you so that you were as lubricated as possible.
He decided you were as ready as you could be and rose up to press his cock against you.
Kurnugi rubbed the tip of his strange inhuman prick against your pussy, grinding against it. He let out a low moan as he plunged into you all at once, unable to hold himself back from doing so any longer. The paralytic you had been drugged with must have started to wear off by that point because as he shoved himself into you you were finally able to scream a bit and grip the bedding beneath you.
The length was insane but the worst part was the thickness. It was like it was trying to rip you open. He gave you time to adjust before he began his thrusting, but there was just no getting adjusted to that type of size in such a short amount of time without a lot more preparation.
You flinched and gasped in pain as he began slowly moving in and out of you.
The scent and sight of the bit of your blood that mixed with your fluids and smeared on his cock only seemed to excite him and he increased the pace, the outline of his cock plainly visible under the skin of your belly. He used one of his hands to rub at the outline as it moved back and forth inside of you, effectively giving himself a handjob while he bred you.
He lowered his head to your chest and ferally bit and licked at your breasts. Instinct demanding he marked and claimed what was, by all laws of the desert, his property.
After what seemed like an eternity you finally had acclimated to the size of the man taking you and began feeling less pain with flashes of pleasure. Chasing those brief flashes, you weakly grinded into each thrust from the scorpion.
Kurnigi’s roaming mouth had found your neck and was sucking and nipping at your soft skin there as if his life depended on it.
The stimulation was only feeling better as the two of you continued, your cries of fear and pain having long since been replaced by weak lusty moans and shivers of delight. You came a couple times and by the third you were completely fucked out. You had never orgasmed so hard in your life and were barely aware of anything other than that nice feeling between your shaky legs.
Kurnugi finally hit his climax as well and bit your neck hard as he did so, injecting something into your neck to leave a permanent claiming mark on you. You flinched in pain but it receded quickly, you were too out of it to really care what he did to you at that point.
Until you felt him cum into you. Your eyes went wide at the sensation as you felt relatively large round masses being pumped deeply into you.
Eggs.
You were shocked and disgusted, but there was nothing to be done about it then. You let the aqrabuamelu lick your various scratches and bite wounds clean before tucking you in with blankets so you could sleep while he made a meal.
He was so jubilant that his pregnant little mate was cozy in his nest while he took care of you. He had a nice home, a large territory, and now a soft mate to dote on and stuff full of his big prick whenever he needed to. Life was perfect.
THREE MONTHS LATER:
It had been around three months since you had been abducted. And it was hours since you had run away from the monstrosity that had kidnapped you. His name was Kurnugi, you had learned, managing very limited communication with the brute. He had finally let his guard down, finally trusted you since you had never been anything but compliant since you had been with him, and he had finally left you alone to go hunt for a longer period of time.
You did not waste the opportunity, it was clear that your bodyguards had not managed to leave the desert, probably succumbing to exposure. Either that or no one had cared to send a search party to look for you thinking you were a lost cause. So it was up to you to rescue yourself.
Once more your legs burned with a familiar exhaustion. Kurnugi was a skilled hunter that moved fast. Once he returned to his den he would begin tracking you immediately. If you were going to succeed then you had to get as much distance between yourself and that cave as you could possibly manage. It didn’t help that you were pregnant with his many eggs. It surely made travel more difficult.
As you made your way up the river you considered walking in it to hide your scent, but you decided against it. The wind was blowing your scent in the direction that you were fleeing from so it wouldn’t help you at all. The slog through the water would only slow you down. And that was the last thing that you needed right then.
The last thing other than suddenly finding yourself laying with your back against the hot sand and looking up with an absolutely outraged Kurnugi looking down at you with a malicious grin on his face.
How had he snuck up on you so silently?
You had expected to be immediately paralyzed by one of his stings, but the scorpion had other things in mind. He wasn’t just angry. He was hurt. You had tried to leave him the first opportunity you had. Had he not proven himself against lesser males to be a strong mate? Had he not provided food and water and shared his home with you? Had he not given you a nice belly full of eggs as any mate would desire?
The aqrabuamelu clearly had to show you your place. He had been too gentle with you. Not done enough to prove that you were, beyond any whisper of a doubt, his property.
And in that vein of thinking he did not bother with his venom, no, he wanted you to have the full ability of movement and still be just as utterly powerless to do anything to avoid him using you as he saw fit.
He pushed you over onto the ground and flipped you so that you were facing the sand with your ass up. Then, right in the middle of the desert, he ripped off the pants he had made for you out of leather and plant fibers.
Kurnugi crouched so that his cock was level with your cunt, his strong hands gripping your hips so hard that they would undoubtedly be bruised. You cried out and struggled just as pathetically as he had predicted that you would.
“Please! Please NO!!! I’ll behave! I-I’ll never leave again. KURNUGI PLEA-”
Your words became a pained shriek as he interrupted them by ramming his entire dick straight into you. No prep at all. He understood your cries for mercy and carried on anyway.
Each thrust into you was slow, powerful, and deliberate, driving your face into the sand as his nails bit into your flesh.
You were right about one thing. You’d never try to leave him again after this. He was going to fuck it into your brain so you’d have no chance of forgetting.
Tears dripped down your face, wicked away by the thirsty air and ground. Your legs shook and you would have collapsed were it not for the strong hands propping you up. Your abused cunt felt like it was being torn apart.
Kurnugi was once more excited by the scent of your blood and began pulling you back and forth over his prick like you were just a cock sleeve built for his pleasure. All you could do was sob and take it and try not to puke.
With a final slam he came in you hard. No eggs this time, since you were already full of them, just fluid that thankfully soothed your insides, if only a bit.
The anger of the aqrabuamelu was finally quelled and he panted with his throbbing cock still twitching and pumping cum into you. He picked you up and renewed the bite mark he had left on you. He did not have to since it was permanent, but he wanted to so you’d remember you were branded property.
Luckily the pain from the bite had been swallowed up by the disorientation and pain from the rape.
A small comfort.
Kurnugi picked you up effortlessly and cradled you close to him.
You couldn’t quite tell what he had said, but you knew it was meant to be soothing. He rubbed your back and chittered sweetly in that foreign language of his. Evidently happy to have that nasty business out of the way and content in the knowledge that you wouldn’t be trying that again.
7 MONTHS LATER:
You couldn’t wait for the eggs inside you to hatch. Kurnugi had assured you that you would be a great parent and since the eggs absorb the DNA of the parent they are deposited in he was confident that they would be the cutest babies in the entire world.
He was so wonderful to you. He doted on you and helped take you for walks when you were restless. He caught or foraged and then prepared all of your meals. He cuddled you close and kissed your swollen belly and made every effort to cheer you up when you were feeling down.
And you were sweet to him too, you learned how to craft things from the leather and fibers he made so you made him little trinkets that he either wore or decorated the den with. And you always greeted him by kissing him softly whenever he came home.
Things were a lot easier now that you could communicate.
And now that you understood that you could never go anywhere without him and to try to do so would be very hurtful for the both of you.
But why would you ever want to do something like that?
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lokis-army-77 · 1 year ago
Text
In Thanks
Masc!Mizu x fem reader
Word Count: 1.8k
You have been traveling with Mizu for a little bit and you can't help the feelings that have developed. Maybe it's time for a thank you.
Warning: 18 +. oral sex, fingering, slight choking, scissoring. I think that's it...
A/N: Be forewarned, Mizu is referred to as "he" the whole fic except for one instance.
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You had become his traveling companion in a series of fortunate and unfortunate events. 
Unfortunately, your father had sold you to the flesh traders for money he could use to save the farm from disrepair. 
While on the road to another town, the two traders had begun to fight, Mizu was haplessly brought into the scrap when he was seen by the two agitated men. They turned their sights on the lone man just trying to pass by. 
Fortunately, he had killed your owners. At first, he was intent on escorting you to the nearest town and leaving you there in pursuit of his revenge, only that plan changed when you had proved to be useful when it came to medicine. 
A few weeks later left you here, on the outskirts of a small remote seaside town.
Mizu's eyes watch you from the other side of the campfire. They flick so subtly, catching your every move, or lack thereof as you continue to stare. 
It hadn't taken you long to learn the secret he was hiding or rather she was hiding. There were subtle tells, ones that no one would be able to notice or think back on or they were just passersby. But you had been at his side for nearly two months and it was so obvious to you.
"Would you quit staring- it's rude." Mizu quips before going back to cleaning his blade. 
You don't listen. Keeping your eyes firmly glued on his movements, the flexing of muscles under his skin, and the touch of his slender fingers rubbing at the blood on his sword. All of it made your knees weak.
While you had been with Mizu on the road, you had begun to develop feelings for the stoic warrior. Feelings of love and lust. Only now did you feel brave enough to do something about it, and act on these feelings no matter the consequences. 
Your thighs clenched as you continued to watch him. Now was as good a time as any. 
Mizu only tilts his head in your direction when the sound of you standing reaches his ears. Twigs snap under your feet as you make your way closer to him. he turns fully to you now, analyzing whatever it is you could be doing, and why you were nearing him. 
“What do you want?”
You didn’t want to come right out and say it, so you spoke coyly. “I never thanked you properly for saving me. I thought I could do that now.”
“You’ve thanked me enough.” 
“But I haven’t done all that I could. Please, Mizu, allow me to thank you fully.” You’re right next to him now, slowly lowering yourself to your knees. 
Sultry eyes lock on suspicious ones.
With gentle hands, you reach out for his glasses. he leans away only slightly, not far enough to be out of your reach. 
You place them safely on the stool-sized rock beside you. 
“Let me see your sword.”
She breathes your name heavily. 
Your hand caresses over his shoulder, teasing and soft. 
"I'm not what you think." Mizu murmurs just loud enough for you to hear.
You pause before you answer. "You think I don't know? That I do not see past the defense and deeper within? I know." 
His words catch in his throat. "-how?"
"You aren't the first I've seen that have hidden their sex from the world, and you won't be the last." Your fingers loosen the string tying up his hair. The silky strands begin to fall, making his all the more stunning. 
"I've learned to see what many do not and what others would like to keep hidden... call it a gift."
You let your lips fall to the shell of his ear and whisper, “Now, let me see your sword.”
Reaching into his lap, you grasp the hilt of the blade. Carefully you take the katana and sheth it before setting it near the rock. 
She doesn’t stop you when you begin to untie his pants or the obi around his waist. 
Clothes fall away leaving only warm, scarred skin bare to you. Mizu’s breathing deepens as the binds around his chest are removed. 
Slowly you crawl over his body, forcing him to lie back on the cape he used as a blanket. 
Your eyes scanned over his every curve, curves hidden away by the straight lines of men’s clothes. The cool night air had his nipples pebbling and his skin littered with goosebumps. 
With lust-filled eyes, you descend on him. Lips making contact with his own. It wasn’t tender, no it was needy. You wanted him, all of him and he wanted you too. his hands reach your face, pulling you in deeper. 
The kiss leaves you breathless but you continue to kiss him, pulling away from his lips to kiss down the column of his neck and to his chest. You wet your lips hungrily as you take his peeked nipple into your mouth, your other hand teasing the other. 
Teeth nip and pull at the sensitive skin. Your tongue laves over him, pulling out a soft moan of your name. It has you smirking into the supple flesh. 
You trail down further, peppering kisses over taut abs before you come to the place you have so desperately craved to be. The smell is sweet but you know the taste will be even sweeter.
“Thank you, Mizu.” You pull apart his strong, slender legs, inserting yourself between them. 
“Thank you.” You kiss the inside of a thigh then move to the other. “Thank you.”
You lay there with his legs thrown over your shoulders, admiring the pussy before you. Your mouth is watering as you trail a single finger over the slit. 
Mizu sucks in, body tensing, preparing. 
You move your mouth in closer, tongue lapping at the wetness between his folds. The taste had you moaning, the sweet yet heady taste filled your mouth and you knew you'd never get enough of it now. 
Pressing on, you began sucking Mizu's clit. Hands flew into your hair, tugging in pleasure. You could feel his nails scratching your scalp.
“Taste so good.” You hum against him. 
Your left-hand strokes over his firm abdomen while two fingers of your left slowly insert themselves inside Mizu's entrance. 
He's so warm and wet, clenching down around you, pulling you in with need. With lidded eyes, you look up, past the roaming landscape of his body, at his face. His brow is furrowed, pinched in pleasure as your fingers work into his walls. His mouth is open, jaw slacked as sweet gasp after sweet gasp erupts. It’s a wondrous sight to behold and all you’ve ever wanted to be privy to. 
Those gasps turn into short whimpers once your rhythm steadies out and your mouth sucks slightly harder on his clit. His hips buck up, pushing against your mouth as need courses through him. You feel like you’re in a trance, your eyes still locked onto his face as he continues to breathe heavily, lost in a pleasure escalating with each passing second. You keep going, determined to make him feel as incredible as possible.
The sloppy noises of you eating Mizu out have your stomach turning, fluttering with want. You know for certain that your own cunt is dripping, making a mess. You need more than just the pressure of your legs squeezing together, no, you need to feel Mizu against you. 
In the heat of the passion, you pull away. Mizu whines at the loss of your fingers and mouth. “What are-” He stops his question short. You’re throwing off the layers of your clothes, tossing them haphazardly around the forest floor.
With determination you crawl over one of his legs, slotting yourself against him. A breathy sigh leaves your lips when you lower yourself. 
With slow subtle rotations of your hips, you begin to feel the want bubbling in your belly pouring forth. The feel of his cunt against your own is like heaven. Your clit rubbing against his sends a jolt through you. 
“Fuck, I’ve never- ah- I’ve never done this.” He grunts. One hand holds you by the hip, guiding you as you grind down. Your own hands hold fast on his thigh in front of you. 
“Neither have I,” You answer between choppy moans. 
As you piston your hips, you can feel the wetness between the two of you growing. You both groan in pleasure, your hands moving to explore each other's bodies. His fingers trace circles around your breast and you shiver in delight. You heave when Mizu’s hand reaches for your throat and pulls you down into a kiss.
His tongue slips past your lips, pushing back against your own. You may be on top and in control at the moment, but there simmering below Mizu’s surface was a want to flip you both over and take the pleasure that had been so far from his mission of revenge, he had forgotten what it felt like to feel another persons touch in this manner. 
Your back arches at the growing ecstasy within your body and Mizu’s hand tightens. The air is stolen from your lungs for only a moment before he lets go, moaning into your kiss. 
 “Thank you.” You repeat once more. 
You can feel the ache in your abdomen as you move, you’re coming closer and closer to release, and by the way that Mizu is rutting his hips against you, strong and needy, you know he’s close too. 
“Look at me.” You plead, “Wanna see your pretty eyes.”
A deep red blush rises across Mizu’s cheeks at your words, not used to the compliment. The blush makes the topaz color stand out. You could stare into those eyes forever, get lost, and never leave. 
Your bodies move in unison, your ragged breaths become one as you both tip toward the edge. With one more thrust, with one more rub of your clits, your bodies tense. Your mouth opens in a silent scream of pleasure while Mizu lets out a wavering cry.
The movement of your hips slows to a stop and you fall in a heap over Mizu’s body. Tiredly you kiss the sweat-dampened skin of his chest, and he shivers. “Thank you.” You mummer one last time. 
Mizu’s hands hold you close, one in your hair, the other flat across your back. “You don’t have to keep thanking me.” 
“I know,”  you look up into his eyes, “but I want to.”
He keeps eye contact as he wipes the hair from your face. “I appreciate this… I haven’t felt this way in a long while.” 
It’s an intimate moment, one of understanding without having to speak. So, you rest your head and close your eyes, too warn out to redress and too tired to move. Mizu also doesn't move to push you away, you take that as a sign that whatever this is, it has a very good chance of happening again. 
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drowning-in-paragraphs · 2 months ago
Text
PLAYING DANGEROUS
jude bellingham x gf!reader
warnings: tension, tension, tension... Maybe (a bit) toxic.
summary: After weeks of fighting over a campaign Jude worked on that sparked jealousy in you, your frustration grows as he dismisses your feelings. Fed up with being ignored, you decide to give him a taste of his own medicine. As expected, your boyfriend sees red—his control slipping as the night unfolds, and the tension between you two reaches its boiling point. But, of course, you are having so much fun.
Part 2: The end of the game (!)
The car ride was thick with an uncomfortable silence. Jude gripped the wheel, his jaw set, eyes fixed ahead. You could feel his frustration radiating off him, each sigh and subtle shift a quiet reminder of the tension simmering between you two. After all the back-and-forth arguments you’d had this week, you were both tired of hashing it out—but the hurt and resentment lingered.
You looked out the window, trying to lose yourself in the nightscape rushing by. The bright lights of the city blurred, but your mind was fixed on one image: that campaign photo. The one that had sparked this entire mess. Jude and a stunning model in a luxury campaign, his arm casually slung over her waist, their smiles too bright, too intimate. When you’d seen the ad, it had stung, but what has stung more was the behind the cameras videos. They had chemistry, and she was just as extroverted as him.
It hadn’t helped that when you’d brought it up to Jude, he brushed it off, rolling his eyes and calling you “dramatic” for making a big deal out of nothing. He’d practically laughed it off, leaving you feeling unheard and dismissed. That was the worst part: not just the jealousy, but the way he’d treated it as if it was meaningless.
“Can you not just sit there like I don’t exist?” Jude’s voice broke the silence, low but tight with irritation. “We’re going to this dinner. Can we just act like adults?”
You turned to him, biting your tongue to stop yourself from saying the first sharp thing that came to mind. You’d been here before, and you were too tired of the fighting to start again.
“Jude, you know why we are in this situation,” you said quietly. “I just wanted you to take me seriously and acknowledge my feelings.”
“Acknowledge?” he said, a hint of disbelief in his voice. “All I’ve done this whole week is listen to you accuse me of something I didn’t do. It’s a campaign. That’s it. Nothing more.” He resisted the urge to say, "End of discussion," and focused on the road ahead instead.
“But you didn’t make me feel like it was nothing, Jude. You made me feel like… like I’m stupid for even bringing it up. You think I don’t know that it’s part of your job?” Your voice quivered, and you hated that you sounded so emotional.
Jude’s face softened for a moment, but then he hardened his expression again, as if not wanting to give in. “I don’t know what you want me to say. I thought you knew me better than that, honestly.”
There it was—another subtle jab. The conversation felt like a seesaw, tipping between blame and defense, never quite reaching a point of understanding. You crossed your arms, pressing yourself against the passenger door, feeling miles away from him, though he was just a few feet to your left.
“I just wanted to feel like you cared that I was upset. That’s all. Not for you to laugh it off like it was something stupid.”
He clenched his jaw, as if forcing himself not to retort. His hands tightened on the wheel again. “Look, I get it now. You don’t trust me, and that’s fine. I’ll do my job, you can stay mad at me, and we’ll just keep doing this every week.” His voice dripped with sarcasm, and it hurt. “This is getting ridiculous...”
You two were tired of fighting, but something in you, something sharp and bruised, couldn’t let go of the last few days’ arguments. It wasn’t enough for him to be hurt. You wanted him to understand.
“Fine,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady but feeling anger prickle under your skin. “If it’s so ridiculous, then maybe I’ll make sure you get a taste of what that feels like. You’ll feel as ‘ridiculous’ as you’ve made me feel this week. We’ll see if it’s still a joke then.”
Jude’s head whipped toward you, a mix of shock and anger flashing across his face. “What? Are you serious right now?” His voice was tense, a low warning.
You felt a pang of guilt, but you held his gaze. “I just don’t think you’d understand it any other way.”
He scoffed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “Unbelievable,” he muttered, shaking his head. He stared back at the road, his knuckles white on the steering wheel. The quiet between you was no longer uncomfortable but electric, charged with a bitterness that hadn’t been there before.
The car finally pulled up to the restaurant where you were supposed to meet your friends. The weight of what you’d just said hanging heavily between you. Jude cut the engine and just sat there, staring straight ahead, as if he didn’t trust himself to speak. You didn´t move either, not knowing what was he going to do. After a beat, he climbed out, moving around to your door without a word. When he opened it, he didn’t look at you, just held the door and waited for you to step out.
You could see the tension in his posture, his usual warmth and confidence replaced by a coldness that made your heart ache. But you were both too proud, too angry, to say anything.
As you neared the entrance, Jude’s hand shot out, gripping your waist with a firm possessiveness. The touch wasn’t gentle or affectionate as usual; it was more of a declaration. Despite the anger simmering between you, he wasn’t about to let you carry out your threat to make him jealous. You tensed at his touch, your own anger rising as you felt him draw you in as if he could control you with a single motion.
Without thinking, you shrugged him off, shoving him away just enough to make your point. Jude halted, cursing under his breath, as he fought to keep his temper in check. The sharp click of the car lock sounded behind you as he pocketed the key, jaw clenched, but his eyes held yours for a moment. You both understood each other’s challenge, an unspoken line drawn that neither of you wanted to cross but couldn’t seem to avoid.
With your heads held high and expressions perfectly composed, you stepped into the restaurant, slipping on your masks of calm as you approached your friends. Your forced smiles and quiet greetings betrayed none of the tension between you, and you fell into the comfortable rhythm of small talk.
Back at the table, the spark of defiance inside you had turned into a full flame. Watching Jude as he laughed and charmed his way through conversations, acting as if your argument had never occurred, only fueled that fire. He didn´t get to act as if nothing happened. His face was relaxed, his posture easy—but you knew him well enough to sense the barely hidden tension in his movements, the occasional dart of his eyes toward you, checking, warning.
Fine, you thought. If he wanted to pretend everything was fine, you'd go along with it. In fact, you’d be the most composed person at the table. But where was the fun in that?
You turned your attention to the friend sitting beside you, leaning closer with an easy smile as you laughed at his stories. Your hand brushed against his as you reached for your drink, letting it linger just a second longer than usual. The warmth of his arm pressed lightly against yours as you angled your body toward him, giving him your full attention. Jude was watching, and you knew he was watching. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see his mouth tighten, his easygoing demeanor slipping just a bit. His brows furrowed, and whatever his friend beside him was saying no longer seemed that interesting.
Good.
As the evening wore on, you let your laughter come a little too easily, smiling at your friend’s jokes, resting your hand briefly on his shoulder as you leaned in, your face just inches from his. Jude’s gaze was practically drilling into you, a dark intensity that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, thrilling and defiant all at once.
You were loving it.
His hand came to rest on the table, fingers drumming an agitated beat, his knuckles white. At one point, he leaned forward to reach for his drink, and the subtle brush of his shoulder against yours sent a shiver down your spine. You caught his eyes, holding his gaze in challenge.
“You okay, baby?” you asked with a smile—the prettiest smile you could offer, eyes shining with a hint of mischief.
In response, his hand drifted under the table, finding your thigh and gripping it firmly. The heat of his palm burned through the silky fabric of your black dress, his fingers possessive, unapologetic. You swallowed, trying to focus on the conversation in front of you, but the pressure of his hand sent your pulse racing, a blend of anger and something far more dangerous surging through you.
Ignoring his grip, you shifted slightly and crossed your leg, pulling away just enough to let his hand slip, but not before his fingers tightened in a quick, heated squeeze. He didn’t let go; instead, he moved his hand further up, his fingers now grazing your upper thigh, daring you to push him away. You bit your lip, refusing to give him the satisfaction of reacting. Instead, you leaned even closer to your friend, laughing softly as you let your hair fall forward, just brushing Jude’s arm in the process.
You could feel the heat of Jude’s glare on your skin, the simmering anger in every tense line of his body. You risked a quick glance his way, only to find him staring back at you with a look so intense, so darkly possessive, it was almost predatory. You'd seen this look before, but only when you had pushed him too far, ignited something in him he couldn’t control. It was a fire you both knew too well, one you had stirred with every challenge, every teasing word. And now, that fire was about to consume everything.
“Come on, keep pushing me, love.” He muttered sarcastically, each word perfectly pronounced, making sure you heard him loud and clear.
He lifted his glass, fingers curling possessively around the stem, and took a slow, deliberate sip, never once breaking his intense eye contact. As he set it down, his gaze trailed down to your lips, full and inviting, a subtle smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. Then, his eyes moved lower, lingering on the soft curve of your breasts, which you had purposefully exposed just enough to rile him up when he wasn’t looking. His stare lingered there, hungry, possessive, making your stomach tighten with a mix of anticipation and anger.
No. No. He didn't get to be in control. This time, you were the one leading. Why did he manage to make you so nervous with just a few touches and his confident smirk? It wasn't fair.
His hand drifted higher on your thigh, and you fought to keep your breath steady. The weight of his touch sent a rush of heat through you, but you refused to look his way, keeping your attention on the friend beside you. Due to all the bickering and pointless arguments, it had been far too long since you’d been close to each other. Now, his touch sent a butterflies to your stomach, its effect magnified—three times more intense than before. Jude’s fingers tensed, his grip growing firmer, sending a clear message, a silent warning. But you leaned in again, touching your friend as you laughed, your fingers trailing along his, knowing exactly how it looked.
Jude’s jaw clenched, his leg brushing firmly against yours under the table, his knee pressing against you with an undeniable possessiveness. His hand squeezed your thigh, almost painfully, and you knew he was at his limit.
So, you laughed again, but this time harder at your friend’s joke.
“Something funny?” Jude muttered in a low voice, his words quiet enough that only you could hear, laced with irritation and a hint of warning.
You turned to him, your expression innocent, even sweet. “He’s just hilarious,” you said with a slight, shy and cute smile, raising your glass and meeting his eyes in a silent challenge.
His gaze darkened further, his fingers moving in a slow, heated drag along the inside of your thigh, and for a brief second, you fought to keep your composure, refusing to let him see how much he was getting to you. His touch was a slow burn, each inch of contact sending a shiver through you that you tried to ignore.
Jude’s hand dropped back to the table, and for a moment, you thought he might finally let it go. But when you laughed again and casually complimented your friend with a teasing remark—something along the lines of, “You always look so good, I do not understand why are you still single,”— Jude’s expression darkened, his breath hitching slightly. He choked on his drink, fingers gripping the glass so tightly you half-expected it to shatter. You could practically feel the heat radiating from him, his control slipping just a little more with every word.
You pressed your lips together, trying to stifle a laugh. He set his glass down hard, his voice a rough whisper. “May I remind you that you are not the one who’s single?” he asked, his eyes flashing with a dangerous glint.
You raised a brow, unfazed, and turned back to your friend. “Am I pushing it?” you murmured, more to yourself than to him, a sly smile playing on your lips. But just as you were about to rest your hand on your friend’s arm for the fifteenth time that night, you felt Jude’s hand slip over yours—this time grasping your wrist, his fingers rough and insistent, stopping you before you could touch another man.
“Do not, Y/N,” he murmured, his voice like steel, laced with something electric that sent a thrill up your spine.
Without a word, you twisted your hand free and crossed your legs again, your knee brushing his leg as you did. His fingers found your wrist again, pulling you closer this time, his lips near your ear as he muttered, “You think this is a game?”
The heat of his breath against your skin made your heart race, and you felt your pulse quicken as he held your gaze, daring you to keep this up. His fingers lingered on your wrist, and for a second, you wondered if he might actually kiss you right there, just to make his point, in front of everyone, as if he didn’t care who was watching.
God you wanted that. Like, a lot.
At last, as the evening wound down and you both stood to say goodbye, Jude didn’t let you slip away. His hand slid possessively around your waist, holding you close as you say goodbye to the group, his grip firm, almost punishing. Once outside, he pulled you aside, finally away from the prying eyes of your friends.
Without a word, Jude pushed you gently against the side of the car, his eyes blazing with frustration, anger, and something else you couldn’t quite name. He stepped in close, his hands framing your waist, pressing you against the cool metal. His breath brushed against your neck, his voice a low, dangerous murmur.
“You think this was funny?” he asked, his fingers pressing into your hips, his gaze intense, unyielding.
You lifted your chin, holding his stare. “No,” you whispered, a smirk tugging at the corner of your lips. “I thought it was fair.”
Jude’s eyes darkened, and his grip tightened, his hands possessive, nearly desperate, as he pulled you even closer. The air between you was charged, tense, and thick with unspoken words. You could feel the rapid beat of his heart against you, the warmth of his hands sending shivers through you.
“You’re being…,” you started, trying to keep a teasing smile in check, though your amusement slipped through. His anger was palpable; he glared at you with narrowed eyes, locking onto you with an intensity that was thrilling, even a little dangerous.
“Mmm, what was it?” you asked, pretending to struggle to remember the exact word that had lit the fuse in this absurd, yet undeniably thrilling standoff. You paused for effect, watching the way his jaw tightened. “Oh, right—dramatic.”
You knew that would push him right over the edge, and sure enough, he leaned in, his expression hardening as his gaze burned right into yours. You could almost feel the warmth of his breath, the faint scent of his cologne enveloping you, as if he were drawing you into his orbit. He hadn’t even said a word yet, but somehow, he had you on edge, just as he always did, effortlessly.
“But you know,” you added with a smirk, leaning up on tiptoe to press a playful kiss on his heated cheek, “I think it suits you.”
Then, with all the nonchalance you could muster, you turned on your heel, heading for the passenger seat as though nothing had happened. For a moment, he didn’t move; you could practically feel his stare following you. But then, before you could even open the door, he grabbed your arm, pulling you back to him, right back into that same charged position, his grip firm but unmistakably possessive. And despite yourself, you couldn’t help but let a thrill run down your spine.
“You have no idea what you just started,” he murmured, his voice thick with a dangerous promise, his lips hovering just inches from yours.
And as you looked up at him, feeling the heat, the thrill, and the tension swirl between you, you realized you didn’t regret a single thing.
Jude’s smirk deepened as he held you there, his grip possessive and firm, his gaze dark with intent. You could feel every inch of space crackling with tension, every breath laced with challenge and defiance. He wasn't letting you go, not after what you'd just put him through. And part of you didn't want him to.
“You think this is a joke,” he muttered smirking, his voice low and edged with a dangerous sort of amusement. His fingers traced along your arm, each touch purposeful, as if to prove just how much control he still held. You raised your chin, meeting his gaze with equal defiance, a small smile on your lips.
“I think it is a taste of your own medicine,” you replied, your voice soft but unyielding. He leaned in, his lips so close they brushed against yours as he spoke, sending a shiver straight through you. He couldn’t resist the urge to kiss you.
“You’re going to regret this,” he murmured, his words a promise as his thumb skimmed along your jaw, tipping your face up to meet his.
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sleepyjuice · 8 months ago
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patience is a virtue - jj maybank
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Summary: you finally get on birth control, which means you and jj finally get to raw dog it, whoop
Warnings: 18+!!!!!!!! SMUT, p in v sex (reader is on birth control but theoretically both parties are tested and clean and exclusively sleeping with each other), little bit of praise kink, cream pie, fluff? soft jj <3
wc: 2771 wtf 🫣
A/N: so I decided to start writing again and then this happened lol. I’m probably rusty and this is my first time writing for jj so I hope it’s okay and y’all enjoy!!!<3
Jj had been counting down the days until your doctor's appointment. You were finally getting on birth control, the arm implant, to be specific. You had done your research, as well as an initial consultation with your doctor to go over all of your options and decided that the ‘one and done’ route would be the best for you.
You and jj had been together for a little over a year, using condoms every time you had sex. As much as you both liked the security of you not getting pregnant, you both wanted more, you both craved more. Not only that, but you had irregular and horribly painful periods and when your doctor mentioned that being on birth control could stop your periods, that was more than enough to convince you to take that step.
The day finally came, though, and jj insisted on driving you to your appointment, ignoring your assurance that it was a quick and easy procedure.
“jj, it’s not like I’m getting put under for a major surgery or something, it’ll probably be only like ten minutes. No medicine or anything.” You told him as you buckled your seatbelt. There was no changing his mind.
jj rolled his eyes as he started up the twinkie, already having made arrangements with john b over a week ago to let him borrow the van.
“I know, baby, but this is a big moment, wanna be there for you.” He said with a grin, pulling onto the road and starting towards your doctor’s office.
“Well, I appreciate it. I honestly think you’re more excited than I am.” You giggled, glancing over at your boyfriend as you pulled your hair up into a ponytail.
“Now what makes you say that?” He teased, knowing damn well he had this appointment marked in his phone calendar and his extra ass even drew a dick and a smiley face on your little desk calendar you had.
You had arrived shortly after, and just as you predicted, the whole appointment only took about ten minutes and was pretty painless. jj waited in the car for you to be done, smiling ecstatically at you once he saw you make your way out the office doors and towards the twinkie.
“How was it? Did it hurt?” He asked as soon as you got into the car, looking at your arm that was now wrapped in a bright pink bandage.
You shook your head, leaning across the seat to softly kiss your boyfriend, his hands finding your hair first before slowly trailing down your body to rub on your thighs as he deepened the kiss. You knew exactly what he was trying to do, so you pulled away with a laugh.
“Nope, nope, don’t even think about it. This thing doesn’t start working for seven days.” You told him, smiling innocently at him as you watched his face drop. You swore all the light in his eyes left his body for a second. He was so dramatic.
You were obviously disappointed too. It would have been nice to go straight home and have what would probably be the best sex of your life right away. But then you would have to go and buy a Plan B, and then this would all be for nothing.
“Now what the fuck? How are they gonna call this shit modern medicine but that shit doesn’t start working for a week?” jj scoffed, one of his hands still resting on your thigh while his other raised to softly graze your bandage, “like, they put a whole ass stick in your arm. What’s it even doing for these seven days? Just sitting in there doing nothing? They really need to make advancements to this shit.” he rambled on, but he couldn’t help but start laughing once you did.
“You are the most dramatic person I have ever met. We just gotta wait it out. Although, with all this anticipation, hopefully you can last more than a minute.” You mumbled the last part, your gaze leaving jj’s as you buckled your seatbelt, knowing he would start huffing over your comment.
And that he did, huffing as he started the car, running his fingers through his hair. “That’s — shut the fuck up. Don’t act like this won’t be torture for you, too.” He mumbled back, backing out of the parking lot and heading towards the chateau.
It had been a long week since your appointment. You and jj had never gone this long without having sex. You could have still used a condom in the meantime, but after a conversation in bed the first night, you had both decided to wait until you could do it raw for the first time. You were struggling, to say the least, but you had more composure than jj did all week.
He wasn’t making it easy though. The way he cuddled against you in bed, his hard dick pressing into your lower back made you crave the feeling of him inside of you. You almost caved multiple times every time he touched you, you just wanted more. But he respected your agreement, even though it was just as torturous for him. Touching your skin, seeing the way the bottom of your ass cheeks stuck out of the bottom of your shorts, all he wanted to do was rip your clothes off and bury himself inside of you. But he could wait, it would be worth it.
It couldn’t have been more perfect timing. Day seven had finally come around and your beautiful and wonderful friends all happened to have plans, which meant you and jj had the chateau to yourselves. It truly felt like a gift from god.
It was late morning, the soft glow of the sun peaking through the sheer blinds of the bedroom jj had made his own had woken you from your sleep. jj was still sleeping soundly next to you, his face pressed against your neck, an arm draped firmly across your waist.
“jay,” you whispered, softly rubbing circles on the back of his neck, your face being close enough to leave soft kisses in his messy blonde hair.
“mm- oh, fuck,” jj rasped, quickly gaining consciousness as he realized it was finally morning. He was so excited to sleep last night because it meant the next day would come quicker. It was like a kid on Christmas Eve. “it’s time?” He lifted his head from your neck, rolling himself over so he was on top of you, his hands holding himself up above your head on the pillow.
“It’s time,” you giggled, reaching up to cup his cheeks, “I’m done being patient. Need you inside me.” You whispered, and at that, jj leaned down, connecting your lips. He wasn’t completely rough, but he wasn’t gentle, and god did you miss this.
Your lips didn’t part from one another as his hands moved their way down your body. His fingers fiddled with the hem of his t-shirt that clad your body, yet another thing making him absolutely feral.
You disconnected to breathe, and so that he could lift your shirt above your head, discarding it on the cluttered floor. You looked up at him, now only in your panties, finding that familiar comfort that lived in those beautiful blue eyes of his.
“Fuck, missed seeing you like this, baby.” He panted, his breath hot on your skin as he lowered his mouth down to your tits, his tongue circling your sensitive nipple as you gasped, reaching up to entangle your fingers in his hair.
He soon took your whole nipple in his mouth, humming in satisfaction against the warm skin, while also lowering his body to grind his boxer clad dick against your wet center. He was achingly hard, no doubt his boxers were already stained with the precum that was eagerly leaking out of his sensitive tip.
You whimpered softly as he grazed his teeth against your nipple as he sucked sloppily, the feeling of his mouth on you making your center pulsate harder.
“jj, need you, please..” you whined, grinding your hips up against his dick, the fabric beneath the two of you was too much. You needed him.
“Okay, baby, okay,” he breathed, pulling his mouth off of your nipple with a pop, leaving the skin red and wet, “need to taste you first.” He added before scooting down further on the bed, giving himself enough room to pull his shirt over his head and discard it with yours.
He quickly repositioned himself in front of your legs, his ring clad fingers cold on your skin as he pushed your knees apart, sliding his hands up your thighs as he spread your legs. He was met with your underwear which you could feel was soaked, and you were sure it was quite the sight for him to see.
“Jesus, fuck, you’re soaked.” He hummed, palming his hands up and down your thighs until he reached the waistband of your underwear, his fingers not hesitating to pull the fabric down your legs and off of your body completely.
“There she is,” jj smiled at the sight of your pussy before him, running a finger through your wet folds, circling your entrance and sliding it back up to rub torturously slow circles against your clit. He was acting as though your pussy was his best friend who he hadn’t seen in months. Again, he was dramatic.
“Please, jay, fuck, you — you can’t torture me now, ‘s been way too long.” You whined, your eyes shutting for a moment as you clenched around nothing, his touches making your veins feel like fire. You needed something.
“M’kay, baby, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, just missed this. Don’t like not having you for so long.” He finally gave in, lowering his head to finally take you in his mouth, his tongue flicking quickly against your clit as his wet lips closed around it, sucking the sensitive bud in his warm mouth.
You couldn’t hold back the moans that fell from your lips, the feeling of his mouth finally on you mixed with the soft breaths leaving his nose that was pressed against your pelvic bone was everything.
“That’s right, that’s good, yeah? Just what you needed?” He pulled back for only a moment to glance up at you as you nodded quickly in response before his middle finger teased your wet entrance. Without another word, he pushed his finger inside of you, bringing his mouth back on your clit at the same time as he began pumping his finger inside of your tight pussy, not missing the sweet gasp that left your parted lips.
He got a rhythm going as he always did, eventually adding his index finger, stretching your tight walls around his fingers as his mouth moved sloppily against your clit. It was a wet mess already, his chin and fingers completely soaked with your juices, the sound of your moans and his soft praises filled the room as he quickened his pace, bringing you closer to your high.
“I’m close, fuck me, I’m gonna come-“
It took only a few more pumps from jj, the way he curled his fingers perfectly, not missing a beat as your stomach tightened before contracting, your eyes squeezing shut as you moaned loudly, reaching forward again to grip tightly onto your boyfriends hair, pulling rather hard as your orgasm took over your body.
Your pussy clenched around his fingers as he pulled them out, bringing them up to his lips to lick them clean as he grinned lovingly at you.
“That’s good, baby, you’re so good for me,” he cooed, leaning down once again to press a sweet kiss onto your sensitive clit, making your breath hitch as you came down from your high. “You ready for me now? Been dreaming of this since I met you.” jj studied your face for any sign of hesitation, brushing a loose strand of hair that had fallen by your eyes.
“I’m ready, please, need to feel you.” You responded rather quickly, wholeheartedly enjoying the foreplay, but this is what you had been waiting for, you were ready to feel him fully.
“I got you, I got you…” he gave a quick kiss to your lips before sitting up and removing his boxers. His cock sprung free, happily unrestricted now, his tip red and swollen, precum now leaking out down his shaft.
You watched as he gave himself a few quick pumps, lubricating himself with his precum before positioning his cock in front of your pussy, gathering your wetness onto his tip before lining himself up with your entrance.
One hand held his cock as he slowly pushed himself inside of you, the other holding your bare waist. It was immediate euphoria for the both of you. You both had no idea what utter pleasure had been beneath the thin condom you had grown so accustomed to.
jj paused once he bottomed out, his eyes meeting yours as you nodded profusely for him to keep going. He needed a second, your joke about him not lasting was now fresh on his mind, but he was determined to make this last for the both of you, and he would be damned if he didn’t give you at least one more orgasm.
“Fuck me, Y/N, holy shiiitt you feel so perfect. So perfect for me. Pussy was made for me.” He groaned, taking a deep and shaky breath before he felt like he could begin moving again.
And so he did, his thick cock pushing in and out of you as you desperately reached up to grab the back of his neck, your fingernails digging into the soft skin making his little curses and moans grow louder.
Sex had never felt this good before, no barriers at all, just jj, completely jj. Watching his eyebrows furrow in pure and utter pleasure as his lips parted was sending your stomach into a frenzy and realistically you both knew that this first time going raw wouldn’t last too much longer, but that was okay.
“Love you, love you, feels so good, just— fuck, harder, please, I’m close.” You whined, your pussy clenching around jj’s cock as he quickened his pace, his hand that was holding your waist now moving down to rub at your clit, knowing that was going to do it for you.
“C’mon, baby, let go, yeah? Come for me, fuck — love you so much, so so good..” he praised, his cock hitting your sweet spot so perfectly while his fingers worked tirelessly against your clit, and that was all it took for your orgasm to hit you at full force, showing no mercy as your back arched, your fingers digging even deeper into your boyfriend’s skin. You didn’t even know what words left your mouth as you rode out your high, but you couldn’t care less.
jj’s gaze left your eyes as he looked down at the sight of his cock sliding in and out of your pussy, juices everywhere, no doubt leaving a mess on the sheets. But the sight of that alone, mixed with the euphoria of being inside of you completely raw, not to mention the way your pussy clenched repeatedly around his cock, that was it for him. He pushed in one last time, his tip hitting deep inside of you as he came, truly inside of you for the first time. Thick spurts of come shot into you as he completely lost his composure, his arms unable to hold him up any longer, collapsing against your bare chest.
“My baby, god, fuck, I love you so much, you’re… ahh, fuck.” jj moaned one last time, needing a moment to catch his breath before he could move again. What felt like forever was only a few seconds, however, and he slowly pulled his softening cock out of you, not missing the way you winced at not only the sensitivity but the loss of fullness.
Taking a breath, jj leaned over the side of the bed to grab his t-shirt, gently wiping up his mess that was now spilling out of you. He made a mental note to put a towel down next time, might save a load of laundry, and a shirt.
“You did so good, baby. I’ve never felt so good in my fucking life.” He kissed your swollen lips once he finished wiping you up, smiling tiredly at your sweet post orgasm face, cheeks pink with a small but satisfied little smile on your lips.
“Yeah, no, that was well worth the wait.”
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pastryfication · 6 months ago
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Hi! So um, I *most likely* am going through perimenopause at a very young age and I'm just so emotional all the time -- I cry a lot lately and I just wonder if you could wrote something about Oscar dealing with the up and downs of his girlfriend's emotions? Thank youuuuuu!
hi!! thank you for the request 🫶 i hope this was what you imagined! i’m so sorry for the delay…
emotional highs
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pairing: oscar piastri x emotional!reader
warnings: mentions of tears and medication.
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you had always been emotional. crying during sad movies, crying when someone did something nice for you, crying when you saw someone happy; it was all normal for you. but lately, it had been even worse than normal.
it seemed your emotions had finally reached their peak, and even the smallest of gestures could make your emotions go crazy.
it was frustrating. incredibly so. you felt like you didn’t have control of your own body. like it acted on its own accord without asking your brain for permission first.
oscar saw how frustrated it made you, and he so desperately wanted to help, but there was not much he could do. holding you whenever you needed him to was the only source of comfort he could bring you. and that frustrated him.
he couldn’t just stand back and watch. he needed to help you more. and so, he asked kim for help, hoping trainer would have the answer.
——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———
“baby, are you home?” he called out through your apartment, pharmacy bag clutched tightly in his hand.
“in here!” you replied, standing up from the sofa where you had been sitting.
walking towards you with hurried steps, his bright grin met you in mere seconds. your usual routine of a welcome home kiss was quickly done, and oscar instead pushed you down to sit on the couch again.
“so i know that you said to just let you be emotional, and i have no problem with you being that. i will comfort you as much as you need me to for as long as you want, but …” he trailed off for a moment, shyly looking down at his shoes. “but i asked kim for help, and he gave me these herb pills that supposedly should help if you’re going through a perimenopause. and i know that you most likely aren’t! but your symptoms just match and i thought we could at least try …”
you looked up at him with surprise. this was not what you expected.
noticing your eyes glazing over, oscar immediately panicked.
“love, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean—“
“oscar,” you caught him off, your voice trembling slightly. “that’s so sweet. you’re so sweet.” your voice broke as a small sob escaped you. “i love you so much.”
oscar stepped forward as fast as he could, enveloping you in a tight embrace. you buried your face in his neck, enjoying the feeling of hiding away in your favourite place.
“i love you more.” he whispered into your hair. peppering small kisses on the top of your head while caressing your back with small touches.
he hoped the medicine would work. he so desperately hoped it would make you feel more like yourself again. but no matter what, no matter what happened, he would always be there to comfort you. you would always be more than welcome to hide away in his arms.
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desparaic · 7 months ago
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To Kill My Melody - Muzan X Reader
In which, Muzan, despite having buried away his pathetic past as a human, pitifully clung unto his regret.
Read sequel here
TW: Angst, death, no beta we die like my motivation to finish my rengoku x reader
Having lived for 1000 years, Muzan have seen everything that Japan has to offer— the world, too, had he not been so obsessed with finding the blue spider lily which he is convinced can only grow on the soils of his motherland.
His mind is set on the future, the desire of perfection, to be free from the chains which have held him down for so long.
Yet there is one that he refuses to let go, no matter how much it wraps around his seven hearts so tightly.
The first thing that flashes in his mind when he thinks back to those old days was a melody that used to play every so often when he lied on his death bed, sick and frail. A melody that he secretly welcomed and longed for, though he kept this fact to himself. A melody that brings comfort and peace, even for just a moment.
The next thing he would think of would always be you.
You, who he was forced to wed.
You, who did not once complain about having a sick husband.
You, who tended to him so kindly and carefully, with a touch that made him feel human.
You, who would get upset when your friends whisper the possibility of you inheriting Kibutsuji fortune once your husband passes.
You, who he had not once acknowledge in his past sickly foolishness.
Every medicine you brought to be drank, every words you speak to soothe his sore muscles, he hurled it all away, cursed at you for your pitiful attempt to help him. How could you? You cannot save him from his impending death. You cannot even ease his pain. How useful could you possibly be?
Tea would be spilled, a flash of hurt could be seen as it scald the skin away, painting it red with pain. A downcast look would then replace the pained expression, wondering where you have done wrong this time.
And sometimes, just sometimes, in late evenings where the moon was nowhere to be seen, he can hear soft weeping and heart cracking. A melody (if he can even call such as one) which he would turn deaf ears on.
He would rather hear that old melody he grew to enjoy instead.
There were times, however, where Muzan didn’t find your presence as miserable as he normally would. Snarky remarks here and there, though he would not drive you away. Although he would never admit this, you would claim that his airy exhale, which he would let out at times when you managed to say something that amuses him, was akin to a laugh of sorts.
Laugh? Impossible. What is there to laugh when he would die before he reaches the age of 20?
Yet here you were, dreaming about the day where he would have enough strength to have a picnic with you in the garden, under the sunlight, sharing stories and eating sweets which you would prepare just for the occasion.
He scoffed at this whenever you dreamed of such impossibility. If he had those days, then he would never waste those times doing such mundane things.
How mindless, how slow, how naive you were indeed. And you are a noble lady, who used to win over the hearts of many men, chasing for your hand? What is there about you that is worth chasing?
He scoffed at your smile, he scoffed at your laugh. How dare you laugh at him when his face contorted with confusion as he tasted a sweet he had never seen before. How dare you tease him when he doesn’t know something you claim to be simple? Like taking care of a flower, or knowing what he picked from the lists of clothes would be an atrocious fashion disaster?
How foolish you were indeed, and Muzan knew it to be so when you had foolishly set out in an attempt to find some flowers just to cheer him up that one night.
He didn’t remember the details. Something about rain earlier in the day… the road muddy and slippery… weak footing… fall… fall.. fall…
THUMP!
Was that his heart? How can it be so? His heart, so weak and fragile, he could barely even sense it in his own body, thumping wildly against his chest when he heard the commotions outside his room, hearing servants shouting, “Get the doctor!” and “Someone help me carry her!”, but one among all that caught his attention, one that gave him strength to stand up, despite him not being able to do so earlier that morning…
No, he dare not repeat the words in his mind again.
When he stumbled into the room, crowded with servants, he saw you in such a terrible state. Kimono torn, limbs bloodied, face muddied.
He ordered, roared at the servants to get out. Only the doctor, that damned doctor who swore would cure his illness, whom he is convinced is nothing but a quack, remained to tend to you.
When he, too, left, there remain Muzan and you… and that melody ringing in his ears.
And here you were, smiling despite your state, repeating that same, foolish dream you had as always. Him, in a healthier body, a picnic, sunny day.
But you weren’t in that dream, you then claimed. You hoped, begged, pleaded, to have him find a better, more competent wife, to care for him, to bear him children which you could not do due to his sickened body, to live long lives with him.
You were foolish indeed. Foolish to throw that dream of yours down the ocean of despair so easily.
“More competent?” He scoffed, who is more competent than his current wife who commands the entire estate, taking over his duty as the head when he was unable to, caring for him despite his stubbornness, staying by his side despite his desire to push you away?
“Then,” you choked out, “In another life—”
No, not this nonsense. You will not leave him, you will not make him wait for a lifetime. You want that stupid picnic? Fine, he will have the servants to arrange that stupid picnic. You like sweets? He'll invite the finest chefs to make whatever sweets and other food you want. You want it to be sunny? How bothersome, it’s been raining a lot these days, but very well, he would find ways, even going to the corners of the earth, to strike down those clouds and drag that damned sun out.
For the first time in their lives as husband and wife, Muzan clinged to you to sleep. In that night, the melody he used to love hearing was soft and weak. Then he continued so the next night, and the night after that.
Until you passed in his arms.
How foolish, indeed. How dare you leave that dream of yours behind to forever haunt him? How dare you be so selfish to plague his weak heart with such foreign pain? How dare you curse him with those three words which he did not even get the chance to ever say before you slip away into eternal sleep?
And how foolish are his pathetic servants, trying to pry your body away from his arms. You were still warm, he refused to let anyone steal that warmth away. Not even death. He has faced death many times in his bed, he refused to acknowledge it, now he refused to acknowledge yours.
He refused to acknowledge the absence of that melody.
Then, when he felt that power coursed through his veins, the power to conquer his sickness and death, to bring humanity down to its knees, his first immediate thought is to share it with you— to bring you back to him, and—
cold were your body, cold were your touch.
Silence replaced the melody that he killed, all because he refused to acknowledge you.
That melody, your heartbeat. He now remembered those times in his sickly episodes, where his head rested against your chest, listening to that melody.
Now, he will be haunted by it for years to come.
How foolish was he, to push away that melody that had brightened his solemn world.
And now, 1000 years later, desperately, desperately, he awaits your promise about that another life.
Next part: To Hearken That Dreadful Silence
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