#going delete later
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vicontheinternet · 4 months ago
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Maybe we do need to go back to the “are the curtains just blue” for adults and have them have a refresher cuz why is bridgerton twt saying that Francesca is jealous of polin and implying that her and John is a marriage of convenience. And that deep down she’s envious of polin and she craves the passionate love that her siblings have for herself deep down even if she’s satisfied in a safe marriage and I feel like that’s just projection not everyone wants passion and toxicity some people want simplicity especially when the envy in question was because her mother wasn’t treated her and John with the same respect as her siblings and their partner because violet has this idea that her children’s love life is supposed to match her and her late husband’s watch was filled with grand gestures and that’s just not francesa. Violet is treating them differently because they don’t follow her vision of what love is and francesa feels alienated and isolated
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kickbutts-singsongs · 9 months ago
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Okay I’m not really a part of this fandom but I’ve been following along cuz it looks kinda cool
So I do wanna say that I noticed smth in the last episode of Hazbin Hotel involving Alastor?
Like it’s canonical that he’s never not smiling right? But I was watching his fight with Adam again and I saw this:
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His shadowwwww was FROWNINGGGGG
But then it corrects itself like half a second later!!
It’s a blink-and-you-miss-it moment:
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victarin · 6 months ago
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i will like forever stand by the fact that self-insert art is good and helpful honestly. call it cringe or whtever but at the end of the day you need to realize that drawing yourself or writing yourself into your favorite media that makes you happy can be incredibly healing. there is seriously nothing wrong with wanting to experience a bit of a reality in which u live a life that is with your favorite character ever even if its "weird" cuz honestly who the fuck cares. make urself happy. let yourself have that singular pleasure of imagining yourself with someone or something that brings you comfort outside of this world that is not nearly as kind
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bixels · 9 months ago
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Posting a sneak-peak of this now because I'm about to be In The Shit school workload-wise, so this'll take me a while to finish.
Doing some character design exploration/expression sheets for Celestia and Luna. Figuring out Celestia's weird ass anatomy while I'm at it.
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starkspi · 8 months ago
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lambment · 5 months ago
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itsahotminuteinbetween · 3 months ago
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tryna figure out where I am on the doodle spectrum
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miscgifsgifs · 1 year ago
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"Josie..."
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14dayswithyou · 6 months ago
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HIYA ! I don't think I've shared this on Tumblr, but here's a WIP of Mer Ren's new design!! Under da cut because of spoilers + I'm not done with the final design yet >:3
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solarpunkani · 1 year ago
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Hot 4am take but I feel like if we want to get people more interested in making their yards a more habitable space for wildlife like insects, we have to acknowledge that ‘Don’t want bugs in your house’ is still a 100% fair and valid point of view. ‘Loves nature’ and ‘doesn’t want roaches spiders and mosquitoes in the house’ aren’t opposites.
And with that in mind, when we propose to people that spraying pesticides around houses is Not A Good Idea, Actually, I feel like we need to give an alternative asides from ‘deal with it.’
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turnipoddity · 10 days ago
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When i was a child i was SOO into halloween and trick or treating. I went once, but let’s remember i live in indonesia where…. nobody celebrates halloween. And it was like, in 2006. My neighborhood is full of grandmas and grampas in their retirement homes. So i just ended up going door to door in a dracula costume and sit to talk with them. Got my cheeks pinched here and there, and they gave butter biscuits and warm tea🥰
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llemon-soda · 4 months ago
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ruining his tough guy persona....
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bixels · 4 months ago
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tarpit site.
#personal#delete later#for context a tweet i made in the middle of the night blew the fuck up and brought the attention of anime fans who've been#harassing and hassling me about my big factual blunder for an entire day straight#“ok i'll apologize” “bro it's not that serious.”#“you're right it's not that serious“ ”why won't you just admit that you're wrong and apologize!“#i'm not going crazy right. i feel like i'm getting manipulated into thinking i must've been wrong#it's crazy how twitter hate will trick you into believing saying something someone else disagrees with is a moral failing#sorry i haven't seen frieren i guess but what's it to you. i wasn't making a claim or statement#also because nobody has gotten this in the original post i wasn't talking about the quality of animation i'm talking about solid drawing#which is a very specific principle of animation. dandandan has really good solid drawing wherein all the characters are animated#with realistic and proportional 3d depth. newsflash but trigger doesn't prioritize solid drawing in their animation and that's fine#it's an aesthetic choice and has ties to production limits. none of this is a big deal. this is all so stupid lol#i've dealt with worse and more annoying weebs though it's fine i'll put on my clown nose twitter needs their stupid guy for the day#oh btw at the end of the day this doesn't matter. it'll be over by tomorrow. all that's happening is petty angry emotions.#so please don't involve yourself by jumping into the argument and prolonging this shit#i'm about to go on a date with tulli after being apart for a month this is the furtherest thing from my mind rn
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1980shorrorfilm · 3 months ago
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dreaming about you and me
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using cailee as my ellie because it just makes sense
click here. resources for palestine, congo, sudan, and other countries.
pairing…ellie williams x gn!reader
in which…ellie moves back to jackson after a year, hoping you had waited for her.
before you read…angst. modern day fic. emo ellie. like biggg loser ellie. sad sad ellie. ellie has a cat. some bad words.
leaving the chaotic city and lousy job and miserable relationship should be exciting. being welcomed by the familiar wyoming weather, and warm embraces from joel and dina should be exhilarating.
but instead, ellie felt a vast emptiness that seemed to seep from the walls and settle deep within her. she felt alone— again.
her phone occasionally bings with an email while she waits for a text; from you. something she hasn’t received in 8 months.
not that she’s keeping count…or occasionally opens your messages to reread your happier conversations. it’s unfortunately one of the only things that helped her sleep at night, next to a girl she knew didn’t love her. not the way you do…or did.
you were friends. really really good friends.
friends that had to be invited to places together, or neither were going. friends that spent more time in each other’s bedrooms than their own. friends that slept skin to skin, no blanket being able to replicate the warmth the other gave.
friends that kissed the day ellie left; then never spoke about it again.
the occasional calls were long, and they were sweet. you asked ellie about everything and anything as she adjusted to her amazing new life.
her new place, that she was quick to inform you there’s a framed photo of you guys together on her nightstand. it’s from a summer bonfire when she had got high and used your very old camera until it ran out of storage. it's a great picture, though. you look so pretty in it, she reminds you.
she’d rant about her new job, her asshole of a boss, and her overly friendly coworker that somehow annoyed you more than her. the way she described the girl, how clingy she was to your ellie. but you would laugh it off, masking the jealousy with light-hearted jokes, daring not to show how much it truly bothered you.
then, a few weeks later, the worst had happened.
ellie suddenly had a girlfriend, and you suddenly had a broken heart.
you could only be happy for her. even if that meant your phone calls were picked up by another girl, telling you that ellie was busy. even if that meant your texts declined over time, cat memes being sent with only a laughing emoji in response. no genuine, heart-to-heart conversations. the ones you yearned for most on your loneliest nights.
and you had to be happy for ellie. even if she wasn’t for herself.
the worst part is, ellie noticed you begin to pull away, and she let you. she let you go.
now she sits here, on her cheap brown sofa, staring at the tv that has yet to be hooked up. phone in her hand, like an idiot waiting for something that’s not going to happen just because she wishes it would. she simply cannot manifest you to come back. she has to do something about it.
after seconds of contemplation, she curses to herself, grabbing the device and calling your number. which rings, and rings, and rings, up until voicemail. which she decides to leave.
“uh— hey, y/n,” she gets up, scratching the back of her neck, “im…im in jackson…for good,” she chuckles nervously, “if you want to catch up, im free the next couple of days. just let me know…um…bye.”
fucking dumbass, she thinks, ending it and dropping her phone on the couch behind her. the worst you can say is no.
ellie wished that were true.
the worst had happened, and it’s you ignoring her completely. days pass and there’s absolutely nothing from you. she hopes to see you around town, making sure she looks decent enough just to run and pick up groceries, but luck is not on ellie’s side.
a week home and she’s only seeing you in her imagination. flashbacks of the evening she left, a beautiful day before a horrid storm.
ellie is self-aware, she knows it’s pathetic to keep moving in place rather than moving on. pretending like you still care for her as she does to you, even if you have yet to communicate it.
she knows it’s wrong. and she can only mourn the idea of no longer having you for so long.
as told by joel, she should only focus on what she has control of. don’t know when he got the time to read a self-help book, but she listens to him. joel was usually right, she hates it sometimes.
he was the first one to see the sparkle in her eye when she spoke about you. even though she denied what he had thought you two were— he continued to tell her that you’re a good one, and not to screw it up.
she could only laugh about that now.
weeks pass, and her apartment feels more like a home now, unpacked with her little trinkets scattered around the place. the first damn thing she did was stick her glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling of her bedroom because you know, priorities. she likes staring at them before bed, knowing you two used to do it together. homemade star gazing, you’d tell her.
her first few days working with joel at his construction company went well. it’s tiring, she comes home feeling like she went swimming in a bucket of sweat, but it’s a nice distraction. and a nice way to keep her arms toned. the summer sun caused her freckles to multiply over her shoulders and collarbones, something you used to admire.
dina and jesse have been spending time with her, smoking at one of the lakes in jackson while sitting in the back of her red pickup truck. a playlist will play lowly from the vehicle's speakers, a few songs she only learned because of you. songs you had told her reminded you of her. she finds herself humming along, the melodies bringing back memories that carve into the center of her heart.
she came home one night, very high, and saw a stray cat digging into a plastic bag filled with garbage. without thinking twice, she crouched down and called to the cat softly. it rubbed against her, and she fell in love. she threw the garbage out and brought the little creature inside. she now has a black cat named orion. the very first constellation she taught you about amongst the many.
it’s hard, the constant reminders of you in little day-to-day things, but ellie gets passed it.
slowly, but surely, she’s finding herself; without you. it’s healthy. it’s good. she’s good.
it’s a random tuesday night when her phone vibrates while she’s getting off work, the woman pulling it out of her pocket while wiping the grim from her forehead. a message, from you.
would you wanna meet up tomorrow?
her heart beats out of her chest, leaning against the chipping paint on her truck. she can’t help it— she responds right away.
yea, is my place cool?
ellie stares at the screen, tugging at her bottom lip with her teeth, tapping her converse on the cement. when you don’t answer promptly, ellie sends another text.
we can do dinner, i can order a pizza. or a movie if you wanna.
you can probably read her tone through the screen, the desperation. but having you right there at that moment, she doesn’t care. especially when you agree— part of her not expecting you to.
ellie gets in her head, part of her convincing herself it was a date…ish…the humbling part of her telling her it was a casual hangout. it’s a win either way. she could see you for a mere minute and still be satisfied.
ellie went home that night, fed her sweet cat, and passed out on her messy bed.
with you in mind, of course.
the following day is long as fuck. she’s antsy, convincing joel to let her go early, organizing the most random shit in her apartment. you hadn’t even reached out yet, she doesn’t know when you’re gonna bless her with your presence.
she doesn’t know if you still like peppers on your pizza, but she orders it anyway. she doesn’t know if you want a romcom or a horror movie, so she finds options for both. she’s anxious, grabbing a beer from the fridge hoping it eases her somewhat.
ellie glances at her phone for the fiftieth time, worried she might have missed a text. she doesn’t. and as hours pass, she drinks more and more.
you never show up.
the full moon is up in the sky by this point. and once again, like deja vu, there is nothing from you. and it hurts.
her mind is foggy from the alcohol she occupied herself with while waiting for you, half of the untouched pizza is cold as it sits on her counter. her cat is watching her pace back and forth.
why? why would you lie to her? why would you get her hopes up after so long? she’s beyond upset. she’s pissed off. you’ve never made her feel this way.
then you text her.
can’t make it. im sorry
she huffs through her nose, shaking her head, then she calls you. which, you ignore, and you ignore again, and again. she keeps calling, she doesn’t care if she’s annoying you. in fact, she wants to. if that’s what it takes for you to acknowledge her.
it’s the tenth time when she listens to the automated voice speak to her, that she leaves a voicemail.
“hey, y/n, dunno if you remember me,” she laughs, scratching the back of her neck, “seems like you don’t. think im a stranger to you now. might as well be, you clearly don’t want to see me anymore— what the fuck —h-how could you? i-i get it, i messed up— i-i left —but im fucking trying here, y/n. and you have to make this so fucking hard for me.”
her voice is breaking, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes, and despite trying to hold them back, she can't stop them from falling. “we were friends…more than friends…y-you fucking kissed me before i left…or did you forget that? d-did that mean nothing to you? why did you do that? i thought about it for months…d-did you?”
ellie’s rage shifts to pain, catching her off guard. she clenches her jaw, struggling to keep her composure, then takes a deep, shaky breath.
“i-i just miss you…i miss you so bad it fucking hurts. i came back because of you, you know that? and i haven’t even seen you— it drives me crazy. im fucking losing my mind here, y/n. all i think about is you. i wish…i wish you felt the same…i don’t know how to get over you. just tell me how to. please— i’ll leave you alone. just tell me to.”
i’ll leave you alone. just tell me to.
ellie’s soft voice cracks, you dread it. many things bother you in this universe. one of them is bearing witness to ellie breaking down and not being able to comfort her.
you were the only one that could— the only one she felt comfortable expressing herself to. except now you are the cause of it. and that is the worst feeling in the world.
you pull your phone away from your ear, turn it off, and place it face down on the table before you. your dinner is still hot and untouched, your partner’s plate mirroring yours. they took a phone call nearly ten minutes ago, an unimportant one, but they valued anything and anyone else before you.
you don’t know why you’re here…why you ditched her for them. someone you love for someone you don’t. someone who needs you for someone who barely wants you.
a place to stay? a body to keep you warm at night? a person to bring home to your family? what’s the point? she’s home. she’s here. and she’s not out of touch, she’s within your grasp, yet you won’t commit to reaching out to her. why?
“mind putting that away for me? friend needs a favor,” your partner quickly says, already out the door before you could even question them or say goodbye.
you’re alone, but you’ve felt lonely in this dim house since the day you came here.
but nothing is keeping you here. you get up, not bothering to clean up the meal you spent an hour making, throwing on a jacket and grabbing your keys.
you drive to ellie’s place. it feels long, catching every red light and driving down roads with the lowest speed limits. you don’t even know if she’ll still be awake by the time you arrive, or if she even wants to see you anymore. but you need to see her.
you lazily park on the street, letting yourself into the building and knocking rapidly on her door. you can hear muffled music playing from inside her unit, then her footsteps.
“i’ll turn it down—” ellie barely opens the door, and doesn’t look at you, not until your hand is on the wood when she attempts to close it.
when she does, her eyes are bloodshot, and she freezes in place.
“can you let me in?”
she hesitates, not because she doesn’t want to, but rather she can’t believe a drunken voicemail had you at her doorstep so damn quick. she obeys, stepping aside, unable to look away from you. you’d do the same, but you’re too distracted by her home.
the fern green color scheme that compliments it, the framed rare trading cards on her shelves, a photo of astronaut cats on her wall that you had gifted her. so many things that made her, her. very nerdy, very adorable, things. and then you look at her, absolutely desolated before you.
“i…i thought…i thought you couldn’t…” she can’t get the sentence out, scanning your face as she tries to speak. you look so so beautiful. she wishes she could forget the things she said to you, and how upset she is with you right now.
“i was worried,” you admit, “you didn’t sound okay.”
“i’m not,” she laughs, walking past you, the smell of cigarette smoke and oak hugging her body. you follow her to the couch, the woman plopping her body on it, looking up at you with doe eyes.
it’s like she’s expecting you to speak first, to address the shitty message she left you. maybe scold her, yell at her, but you don’t. you kneel before her, placing your hands gently on her knees.
“what you said…i don’t…want you out of my life, ellie,” you tell her softly, thumb rubbing the denim of her jeans, “i could never want that.”
“you have a fucking funny way of showing that,” ellie spits, laughing dryly, “i asked for one thing tonight. and you— you only came here out of pity.”
“i wanted to see you.” “no the fuck you didn’t.”
“yes i—” “jesus christ, stop lying to me,” her voice raises slightly hiding her face behind her hands as she squeezes her eyes shut. “i’m not.”
“you are!” she suddenly throws her hands forward, “l-like when you told me you loved me that night, you remember that?”
it’s the same night you kissed her, the very same moment. the one that is very clearly haunting her, as it does you. it was honest, both those three words you’ve felt for her the moment you got attached to her and the kiss you only pulled away from when you were suffocating against her lips.
neither of you wanted it to end, but it did, along with whatever your relationship was. it was killed, and it is utterly haunting you two.
you move your hands to her own, feeling how hot they are against your cold ones. you two always balanced each other out. “i do love you, els.”
”stop,” she mumbles, “please…stop.”
“i’m not lying to you,” you promise, “yea, i-i pushed you away but you moved away, ellie, you have to understand that.”
ellie is silently crying again, shaking her head, repeating the word ‘stop,’ in a hushed tone. “then you found someone, and so did i, and it got so damn complicated,” you continue, “i don’t want it to be…and i do…i do want you.”
“what?”
“i want to go back— to what we had. i want that, els, i want you.”
she stares at you through her wet lashes, afraid to speak, wondering if you mean it. or if this was a pity love confession, or if this was a cruel joke, or if this was real. any other possibility than you genuinely yearning for her the way she did you.
her head feels heavy, it’s too much.
you hold her knuckles, softly rubbing them, shifting on your knees to lean closer to her. “i need you, ellie,” you whisper, she’s heard those words before.
it was you going to a party you were anxious about. it was you watching a horrible movie you’d only tolerate with her beside you. it was you sobbing on your front porch, waiting to see her headlights in the rain. it was her telling you she was leaving this town and you behind. you needed her then, you need her now.
you push yourself forward, a hand on her cheek to dry whatever tears had wet it. she leans into your hand like her cat does when she gives it affection, wanting it to last forever. then, she feels your soft lips on her forehead, ellie sighing at the sensation.
you tell her once more, “i love you.”
it’s too good to be true.
maybe, if the timing was right, it would be real. if she never left you, if you didn’t settle for something you could hardly call a relationship, if you could just let her back in— this bittersweet moment would happen.
but that’s simply not ellie’s or your reality.
your reality is sitting at an empty kitchen table, your dinner cold, listening to her voicemail on repeat, thinking about how you could just change your mind right there and leave. to see her, tell her everything you want to. but you don’t.
you end up going to bed with a heavy heart. your partner comes home, apologizing for leaving you, holding you to sleep, making you feel loved enough that you don’t want to leave that bed.
ellie passes out with a black-and-white movie playing in the background, envisioning you there with her, trying to salvage what you two have left. telling her you love her again, reassuring her that you truly mean it, that you want her. that you two could live the life you yearn for, but you’re not, and she can’t make you.
she will wait for you.
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chappellcastiel · 7 months ago
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The envy Arthur and Lancelot would have had for each other must have been insane.
Because Merlin is secretive with Lancelot. He tells him things he would never tell Arthur, he opens up to him and Arthur knows he can never have that trust. Never have that closeness not while he’s king and Merlin a servant.
But to Lancelot he’s been secretive about protecting Arthur. It all resolves around Arthur, opening up about protecting Arthur, giggling over using magic to please Arthur. Lancelot knows it will never be him on the other side of the devotion not like this.
just like he will never be Gwen’s because she loved him once yes but at the end of the day it’s Arthur she chooses.
and in Arthur’s eyes Lancelot is Gwen’s first love will always be known as such and will always be looked at as such even if she loves him she loved Lancelot first and Arthur can’t help but think if she could have him she would.
Anyway I’m so sane about them and at the end of the day how they still understand why it’s like this because they would choose the other as well.
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void-dude · 2 months ago
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WHOEVER WROTE THIS FIC HOW DARE Y'ALL JUST DO THIS IM GOING INSANE LIKE SERIOUSLY HOW ARE Y'ALL JUST INSPIRED BY MY SILLY STUFF LIKE THIS TO JUST POST ON AO3 AND MAKE ALL THIS ART?!?!? GUYS IM LIKE EXPLODING I CANT DEAL???
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Like I feel like a fraud ??! I didn't MAKE TAD but I sure as hell made THIS TAD IF THAT MAKES SENSE?? I ALSO KINDA MADE THE SHIP IM PRETTY SURE?? I MEAN ITS MY AU AND SUCH BUT LIKE URGH WHAT UHMMM
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