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my-lady-knight · 5 years ago

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Favorite Reads of 2019

As seems to be my usual, I’m posting this at what feels like the last second.

Writing this year’s post was hard. I’ve been complaining offline all year that it feels like I read far fewer books I really, truly enjoyed. Even the books I did enjoy, they didn’t stick around long in my head for me to remember details. On the other hand, this list ended up being thirteen items long, so it can’t have been that bad. And having to go back to the books in order to write this list did make me remember how and why I loved them, so there is that.

Presented in chronological order of when I read them:

The Lions of Al-Rassan by Guy Gavriel Kay

The first book I read in 2019, and I knew would end up on this list as soon as I finished. It’s also the first book of Guy Gavriel Kay’s where I finally understood what the fuss was about - when he commits to writing three-dimensional characters with compelling interpersonal and socio-political relationships, he commits. The cultural/social details of this secondary-world version of medieval Spain set at the beginning of the end of the Caliphate and the rise of the Reconquista are evocative, and the scope deftly alternates between being vast without tripping over itself and touchingly personal. Most importantly, this book gave me an OT3 I wasn’t even expecting in the form of Amman ibn Khairan, famed soldier, poet, and advisor now outcast from the city-state of Cartada, Rodrigo Belmonte, beloved cavalry captain with a complicated loyalty to the rulers he serves, and Jehane bet Ishak, an esteemed physician whose path intersects with them both. Together they represent the connections and tensions between their respective, secondary-world Muslim, Christian, and Jewish communities, cities, and leaders in this secondary-world Spain and form a triangle of everything the country has, is, and can be. A year later I still love this book.

How to Write an Autobiographical Novel: Essays by Alexander Chee

This book is difficult to write about, because I remember loving it as I was reading it, but I can’t remember any of the essays very well several months after the fact (see above). What I do remember is that they were difficult, and complicated, and messy, and they did the thing I love when essays do where the fact that the things Alexander Chee was writing about are super-specific to him made them somehow feel all the more relatable. All the essays were nicely crafted stories and emotional journeys, withAlexander Chee tracing all the various aspects of his life through his writing, as an Asian man, a gay man, an aspiring writer, a professional writer, a resident of NYC, and a survivor of sexual assault, using prose that was both artistic and clear as water.

The Raven Tower by Ann Leckie

Amal El-Mohtar wrote in her NYT review that this book was akin to “Hamlet”, “if [the play] were told from the point of view of Elsinore Castle addressing itself to a Horatio who mostly couldn’t hear it,” to which my response was “huh?” Then I read the book and it a) made so much more sense and b) ended up being an astute, apropos explanation of the kind of book The Raven Tower is. It’s the story of a soldier and companion to the heir of a country investigating the disappearance of its ruler and the ascendency of another in his place. It’s also the story of a calm, patient god in the form of a stone who predates all of history and narrates the changing existence of gods, their power, and their relationship to humans and their civilizations. It’s an understated yet powerful book, full of Ann Leckie’s brilliant and clever writing, world-building, storytelling, and otherworldliness. It’s Ann Leckie. She knows what she’s doing. And it fucking works.

Sal & Gabi Break the Universe by Carlos Hernandez

This book - is bonkers. It is insane. It is one thousand percent over the top. I kept asking myself “why am I not irritated???” Instead I loved it. Sal is the new kid, a practicing magician with as showman’s flair for the dramatic and boundless energy, and he can open up portals into other universes. Gabi is the sharp-eyed, bossy class president and editor of the school newspaper who just knows something’s up with Sal and his shenanigans. Together, they become friends! And open up more portals into other universes. This book is warm and empathetic and funny and kind-hearted. It’s too-muchness quality somehow worked. The whole thing felt like the literary equivalent of a hug.

The Parting Glass by Gina Marie Guadagnino

This wasn’t a Deep book, but I could not stop thinking about it, nor could I stop recommending it to people. It’s a zippy historical fiction novel set in 1830s NYC prior to the Potato Famine. Mary (or Maire) and her brother Seanin are Irish immigrants working in the same wealthy family’s house, she as lady’s maid to the marriageable daughter named Charlotte, he as a groomsman. Mary is half in love with her Charlotte; unfortunately so is Seanin, and the two of them are carrying on an affair, the aftermath of which leaves Mary in a bind about where her loyalties lie. I love that this book has a queer take on a love triangle that I’ve never seen before, and I loved Mary’s anger and resentment, her unashamed attitude towards her desire for Charlotte as well as other women, and her selfishness as well as her loyalty. I also loved the upstairs-downstairs nature of the book and the clash of Anglo-American and Irish immigrant ethnic and class mores and the larger social and political setting of the city and time period.

The Bird King by G. Willow Wilson

I don’t even know how to begin describing this book. It’s a story about maps and boundaries and borders. It’s an epic of daring escape and adventure about a mapmaker named Hassan with a magical gift and a concubine named Fatima, two friends fleeing the Inquisition after the surrender of Granada, in search of a mythical island ruled by the King of Birds. It’s a story of faith and trust and bonds forged from disparate people, and transformation, transformation of yourself and the world around you because you will it to be so. It’s a beautiful, beautifully written book.

(As a side note, I’m intrigued by the fact that two of my favorite books on here are set during the Reconquista.)

On the Come Up by Angie Thomas

In some ways I liked this even better than The Hate U Give. I loved the complexity that arose out of Bri rapping about the injustices she’s experienced, with people drawing completely different meanings out of her words, people wanting her to use her rapping and her voice for differing reasons, and Bri herself working to figure out the power she has with her rapping and how she wants to use her talents, when it comes to financially supporting her family, standing up for herself, and being herself when so many around her are creating all these false images of her based solely off her words. I loved Bri’s anger, the way she kept speaking before thinking, her loving, sometimes complicated relationships with her family and friends...Angie Thomas’s writing and storytelling is phenomenal.

Kindred by Octavia Butler

I’m not even sure what to say about this book that hasn’t been said but, um, yeah, it’s Octavia Butler, it’s a classic, and really my favorite aspect of the book is how it so effectively bridges the gap between history and present and demonstrates how the two aren’t so far apart, and effectively blends them such that for Dana, the present becomes the past and the past is her present and suddenly she isn’t visiting history at a somewhat removed vantage point, she is part of history, her own history, her ancestors’ history, in all its horror, caught in a catch-22 of needing to repeatedly save the life of her white, slave-owning ancestor who over time grows more and more violent towards her, in order to ensure the chronological security of her own life.

The Weight of Our Sky by Hanna Alkaf

This was a harrowing read. Set in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia during the 1969 Malay-Chinese race riots, sixteen-year-old Melati has OCD, or what she understands as a djinn living inside her that forces her to obsessively count in order to keep her mom alive, a secret she tries to hide so people don’t think she’s possessed. When the race riots break out across the city, Melati has to make her way through the violence in the streets in order to find her mom, all while battling the djinn as its power increases in the chaos. I repeat, this book was brutal. The descriptions of Melati’s OCD alone make it a tense, taxing read - combine it with the violence and unpredictability of the race riots and all the threats to Melati’s safety and her ever-growing fear for her mom and it’s a lot. Even so (perhaps because) I could not put this book down. The recreation of this part of history (which I had no clue of before and knew nothing about) was both immersive and informative, the story was deftly plotted, and I loved how Melati’s characterization and her relationship/the depiction of her OCD and how it specifically affects her in her particular circumstances.

Jade War by Fonda Lee

CLEAN BLADE CLEAN BLADE CLEAN BLADE

*ahem*

The second book of the Green Bone Saga was even better than the first. It took the story of the Kaul family and the No Peak clan and the worldbuilding of Jade City and turned everything up to eleven, expanding the story beyond Kekon into the global theater, particularly Espenia, bringing into the picture Kekonse immigration, diaspora, assimilation, and cultural heritage - what it means to be Kekonese, to be a Green Bone and carry jade and follow aisho outside of Kekon. The gang warfare between the No Peak clan and the Mountain clan spills over the domestic sphere into the international. Espenia grows more aggressive in its moves to gain control over jade at Kekon’s expense. It’s family loyalties and betrayals, it’s gang politics and warfare, it’s community, municipal, national, and international politics and culture clashes, and the changing world of being a Green Bone and wearing jade in a post-colonial world. Anyone who’s followed me this year because of Peaky Blinders - READ JADE CITY AND JADE WAR. YOU WILL LIKE THESE BOOKS I PROMISE.

Hexarchate Stories by Yoon Ha Lee

With this short story collection, Yoon Ha Lee has not only successfully published fan fiction of his own work in the Hexarchate universe and is getting paid for it, he’s published good fanfiction. The cute Cheris and Jedao backstory pieces of flash fiction he first published on his website are drabbles. One of the original pieces in this collection is straight-up PWP. (How the hell Solaris agreed to it I have no idea, there is literally no plot.) The very last story (also original) is fix-it fic for Revenant Gun that left me kicking and screaming over the CLIFFHANGER that Yoon Ha Lee ended it on HOW DARE YOU I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT CHERIS AND JEDAO ARE GOING TO DO NEXT YOU BETTER BE WRITING MORE STORIES SET IN THIS AU TIMELINE. In sum, Yoon Ha Lee is a delight, I love him, and I loved this collection.

The Deep by Rivers Solomon

A novella about the weight of history, especially painful, traumatic history, and the necessity and yearning for it when you don’t have it. To be forced to bear the burden of history alone is to be crushed and subsumed by it. To lose or become detached from it is to lose connection to the people you’re from. Either way, it is difficult to impossible to maintain a people’s history alone. Rivers Solomon is such a poetic writer with her prose, painting beautiful images with just the right collection and arrangement of words, all while packing an astutely aimed punch in 160 pages.

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo

I had some issues with how convenient some of the magic/magical artifacts felt, and the various threads of the murder plot didn’t tie up as nicely as I wanted, but oh, Alex Stern is a marvel - a survivor in every sense of the word who embraces that part of herself over and over, even as what being a survivor means changes for Alex over the course of the book. A dark/contemporary urban fantasy set at Yale where the university’s elite student societies are also magical societies— Alex is a dropout who got into drugs as a teenager in order to shield herself from the ghosts she can’t stop seeing, recruited to act as overseer of the societies’ magical rituals, and who takes it upon herself to investigate the murder of a young woman not too different than herself. The centrality of power and its abuse in this book is delicious, the read is gripping, and Alex is worth the price of admission. Yes, I will be reading the second book when it comes out.

(Also, this is literally the second book I’ve ever read that makes any mention or inclusion of Ladino (both Alex and Leigh Bardugo are Sephardi.))

Honorable Mentions

Finding Baba Yaga by Jane Yolen

King of Scars by Leigh Bardugo

How Long ‘til Black Future Month? by N. K. Jemisin

Our Year of Maybe by Rachel Lynn Solomon

Dragon Pearl by Yoon Ha Lee

The Boneless Mercies by April Genevieve Tucholke

The Best American Science Fiction and Fantasy 2018 edited by N. K. Jemisin and John Joseph Adams

The Calculating Stars by Mary Robinette Kowal

Amnesty by Lara Elena Donnelly

Storm of Locusts by Rebecca Roanhorse

Let Me Hear a Rhyme by Tiffany D. Jackson

The Monster of Elendhaven by Jennifer Giesbrecht

Pet by Akwaeke Emezi

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

It’s also been my practice over the past few years when making these posts to crunch the numbers regarding the number of books I’ve read by PoC authors. This year I read a total of 30 books, which is the exact same number as last year, but since I read fewer books this year, they accounted for 47 percent of my reading, compared to last year’s 43 percent. My goal since I started has been to get to 50-50 parity between PoC and white authors, and this year’s the second-closest I got (I reached 48 percent in 2017.) The goal for next year is once again 50-50.

#long post #book recs

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shprka · 5 years ago

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A matter of time (a merthur fic)

Title: A matter of time

Pairing: Merlin/Arthur

Written for: MerlinMemoryMonth May 2019

I chose Path 3: A time to consider / A time to act

Summary: One of the things Merlin never would have predicted was the legendary King Arthur magically appearing into his living room and confusing him with the sorcerer Merlin.

It’s in Merlin best interest to calmly explain to him that they are in the 21st century and Merlin isn’t the person he’s looking for. All the while trying to not get stabbed with Excalibur and ignoring that the legendary king is hotter than any of those scripts ever described. And an incredible prat!

Read under the cut or on AO3

Listen, it’s sounds mental, absolutely bonkers and Merlin would recommend a good psychiatrist to anyone who’d ever tell him that the legendary King Arthur appeared in their living room out of thin air, but. But.

That’s exactly what happened to him.

And the day started relatively pleasant. Of course after he woke up at the fifth alarm, which was at 6:25, and that 25 minute delay fucked up with his everyday schedule. He had to run around the flat, dress himself with one hand and brush his teeth with the other, but he managed to catch the later bus and he was just few minutes late. His friend Maria covered for him and the kids were still sleepy, so they didn’t even care when Merlin burst into the classroom, flushed and panting, seeing his group already drawing peacefully with Maria.

After that everything went great, as it usually did, with the kids he loved and being as childish as he liked all the while keeping an eyes on those restless bundles of energy. Even a few incidents - like Thomas throwing up on his t-shirt - didn’t sour his mood.

Then he met up with Gwaine and a few other mates, who were kind enough to let Merlin shower first at his place before meeting them at the pub. All that Gwaine was always teasing him he had a lot of sympathy for the things the kids did to him and he shuddered at the mere mention of what those little sociopaths could do and say.

But anyway!

King Arthur, right? King Arthur.

Merlin was pleasantly tipsy - it was Friday, he never drank when he was working the next day - and he stumbled into his apartment, giggling to himself and planted his arse on the sofa, turned on Netflix on his laptop just to make some noise, while he was undressing and making his bed and… And he close his eyes and there was that.

Something woke him up. Some feeling he couldn’t discern. He didn’t drink that much, but maybe it was his upset stomach or he just wanted to piss. Righting himself up on the sofa and opening his jaw in a big yawn, Merlin was just standing up, before he fell right back onto his arse as someone appeared into his small shabby living room, just behind his coffee table.

Is “appeared” a right word? Maybe. Maybe more “materialized” or “pop in”, or not - those were just synonyms and not different words.

But yeah, you get the picture - some man came out like some kind of invisible wall, right foot, left foot, torso, two hands clutching a sword, a full body armour.

The man - because it was definitely a man, a knight of some sort - was crouched slightly like he was hunting or expecting someone to attack him any minute. He hadn’t spotted Merlin at first, in the low light of Merlin’s laptop that stopped playing Merlin’s show and now displayed just his screen-saver - a default picture of a cliff.

“Who the fuck are you?” Merlin shrieked, and maybe it wasn’t that great of an idea, because the stranger actually raised his sword and Merlin had a half of a second to think about his life, before the stranger was on him.

The stranger was on him and actually managed to flip the sofa on the back, Merlin falling back with it and the stranger on his knees on either side of Merlin’s ribs, his sword

dangerously close to Merlin’s Adam’s apple. He gulped and wanted to shudder at the feel of the sharp blade at his throat, but he managed to stay still.

And then the laptop screen went black and the whole room with it.

“What did you do?” snarled a voice above Merlin, sword even closer now.

“The light… let me just reach for my phone and I…”

“Turn on the light.”

“I’m trying… Let me go, so I can do that.”

“Just use a spell.”

“What?”

“Or light a torch. Where do you keep the fire?”

“Um… Like a lighter? I don’t smoke.”

That whole exchange was more that a little weird, but he went along with it, because the stranger didn’t actually seem like he wanted to kill him. Or maybe he wanted to see him as he slit his throat with that incredibly sharp sword.

“Listen,” Merlin started like he would start with a misbehaving child in his group, slow, steady and confident, “Let me reach into my back pocket. Or let me go.”

“What if you’re the enemy?” The weight of the man pressed onto him and Merlin gasped.

“I’m not. I don’t have any enemies. At least ones I’m aware of. I’m a kindergarten teacher. Please,” he added, hoping to elicit some pity at least.

The man grunted and the sword was gone, thought Merlin somehow knew the stranger was ready to pounce any second Merlin did something stupid. Merlin tried with all his might to not do anything stupid.

He reached into his pocket, slowly trying to navigate his hand in the darkness and trying to not touch the man, though he was still kneeling and keeping Merlin from escaping. His hand brushed a thigh, a rough material of trousers meeting that thing that knights were beneath armours, whatever its called. The stranger tensed and Merlin stopped, before he quickly grabbed his mobile from the back of his jeans and flipped it on from memory and chose a lighter.

The first thing that came into view was the man above Merlin. He indeed dressed in some kind of armour, held a real life sword and was dirty and bloody and had a cut on his face that looked awful. He turned his face away against the light and Merlin could see a strong square jaw.

Whatever he was, whatever he looked Merlin had to get away. The man, the knight was reeking something awful - stale sweat, blood, dirt. It made Merlin’s eyes water and he had to breathe through his mouth.

“Can I…?” Merlin started and the man clenched his jaw, but nodded.

Merlin crawled away from the couch, slowly, keeping an eye on the stranger in his house and got to the switch and instantly the room became bright.

The knight stood up, still gripping his sword, and Merlin stared at him in utter shock and confusion.

The man was blond, his dirty fringe falling on his forehead and curling behind his ears. His armour was dented in some places, though besides that he didn’t look injured anywhere. He wore that chainmail thing that Merlin felt for a bit and therefore knew how heavy it was, but the stranger didn’t seem to bow under its weight.

He had a light eyes, which was a stark contrast against all the dirt and blood on his face.

“How did you got here?” Merlin asked at the same time the man said, “Where am I?”

“How can you not know where you are? You came here!” Merlin just couldn’t believe. Maybe he was drunker than he thought. Or it was a very elaborate dream and he’d just wake up on the sofa with an awful headache in the morning.

“It was a spell, I got tricked,” the mad said, more grumbled really, then straightened his back, “Which brought me to you, so you must be a sorcerer, too. I demand you tell me your name, sorcerer.”

Merlin laughed despite himself. Who did that weirdo think he was?

“It was you who broke into my flat so late, so I don’t owe you my name. Though you owe me an explanation.” At the unimpressed stare, Merlin rolled his eyes, “My name’s Merlin and that should be enough. I answered your question, so you answer mine. And the truth this time.”

The knight sighed, a heavy sigh, and sat on the edge of the fallen sofa, his sword resting beside him.

“So the prophecy was true. The dragon said our paths will cross again. I didn’t understand the meaning of his words until now. The past and the future… Tell me, Merlin, are you not the same man that helped me over the years?”

“Pretty sure not,” Merlin crossed his arms. “And you better start talking sense. Tell me who are you and where are you from? And why are you so keen to believe in magic? Maybe you’re from Hogwart? Are wizards real and you just apparated into my flat, harry potter style?”

Now it was the stranger’s turn to frown. “Are you mentally afflicted, Merlin? Talking gibberish and accusing me of using magic...” He shook his head. “I could get you executed.”

Merlin was somewhere between offended and amused. “What? Are you some kind of royal? Wait, you’re a knight, I remember from the history books that only nobles could be knights, right? In medieval times.”

“History books? Is it not the law here? Where exactly are we?”

“Err… In London?”

“I’ve never heard of the Kingdom of London. Is it perhaps over the sea?”

“Depends. Where are you from?”

“Camelot.” Merlin snorted at that, but the man was utterly serious. “And my name is Arthur Pendragon.”

Merlin blinked. The name was kind of familiar, yeah. Though quite unusual. It was like a book of a movie character surname. Though Merlin couldn’t put his finger on that. But he knew like five Arthurs, so…

“Are you, uhm, someone important?”

Arthur spluttered, “I’m the King of Camelot, you absolute bumpkin! How can you not know that? I understand you could not have recognized me. I don’t look my best, I admit, and not everyone had seen me in person, but have famed my name on all of Albion and surely over the sea you had to at least heard of me.” Though, he didn’t look so sure of himself anymore. “No matter. I am tired and hungry. Get the servants to prepare me a bed and some dinner.”

“We don’t have servants here, my lord. And who said you’d be staying here?”

Arthur heaved a deep sigh, “Thank gods, so you have more than one chamber. I wondered how big this house is. And it’s all yours?”

Merlin had to laugh at that. “What? No. A lot of people leave here. And this is my little corner of the world, there’s no other ‘chambers’, sorry.” Merlin stretched his arms above his head and yawned. “But I guess you can stay here for tonight, it’s too late to look for a hotel or something. Besides, let me guess, you don’t have any money, do you? Or ID?”

“We don’t carry coins into battle. But I’ll be in your great debt and as soon as I will make my way home you’ll be rewarded with so much gold as you could carry.” Which, he probably though, would not be much, seeing Merlin’s lanky form. Jokes on him, Merlin could swing four four-year-olds clinging to his arms, which was no mean fit. Besides, running around fifteen kids all day kept him in shape.

Anyway, why would he even care what Arthur thought of him?

It was nearing two am and Merlin had an awful headache, all he wanted was to go to sleep. He didn’t think Arthur would steal anything, but Merlin genuinely did not have anything that valuable to steal. Besides, everything pricy he kept near himself in his bedroom and that room was off limits for Arthur.

But he guessed he had to let him use his bathroom, while Merlin had a time to make some sandwiches and think about what evil he’d done in the past that this was his punishment.

“First you must get rid of that thing you have on you. I’ll find you some towels and spare clothes and you can take a shower. You smell so bad.” The king looked so offended it was hilarious, but then he furrowed his brows at the word shower. DId Merlin want to explain what a shower was and how it worked and not being accused of sorcery? Nope. “Or I’ll prepare you a bath.”

“You would make a good servant, Merlin.”

Merlin rolled his eyes and went to the bathroom. He found a spare towel in a cupboard, turned on the faucet and on a whim added some lavender bath salt. God knows Arthur needed anything he could get to get rid of that awful smell. Merlin would have to open a window or something in the living room not to die. He checked if the water wasn’t to hot and went to the bedroom to find some clothes, before he reached it there was a thud from a living room and Merlin flinched before running to check if Arthur didn’t do anything to himself or more furniture.

He was sat on his arse on the floor, pouting. It was kind of adorable. As much as a dirty and bloody knight could be at least. When he spotted Merlin in the doorway he stood up quickly and gestured to his arm covered in armour.

Merlin saw him struggling for a bit longer, grumbling to himself, before he marched to him and batted his hands away. “Stop, stop, let me. You haven’t ever took off your armour before?”

“We have squires for that. It’s not that easy to do it alone,” Arthur said quietly, and Merlin heard him perfectly and unfortunately also smelled his breath. Maybe he would be more away of their proximity if it wasn’t for that. The smell was truly horrendous. He thought he had a spare toothbrush somewhere, too.

He got the hang of the buckles, while Arthur stood still as a statue, while somehow still managing to look relaxed. He had to be used to it. Being king and having a lot of servants.

“You don’t have to scrunch your nose, Merlin. I’m aware of how I smell. I just grown used to it. When on war you don’t have many occasions to take a piss, and baths… are a luxury.” He took a deep breath and as the armour came of realised that he was smelling Merlin. “Which doesn’t seem to be the case with you Londoners. Are you always as fresh as daisies or I came just after your weekly bath time?”

Weekly… Okay, that was too weird even for Merlin. Though to be honest he didn’t smell his best - sweat and alcohol and all, but maybe in medieval times that was considered fresh as a daisy. Shit, maybe they should stop with it altogether.

“Alright, this part came off, will be alright with the… the rest?” Merlin made a motion with his hand at the… chainmail thingy, but Arthur gave him a wry smile.

“Yes, I can take my own trousers off, Merlin, thank you.”

“Then come on,” Merlin grumbled and lead him to the bathroom, trying to hide how warm his cheeks have become.

The water was now reaching about two thirds of the bath and the smell of lavender was prominent in the air. He turned off the faucet and made a tactical retreat when the heavy chainmail made a heavy thud as it fell off on the tiles, hopefully not breaking anything.

“Will you be alright by yourself? Great. I’ll make some sandwiches. You know where to find me. The towels are on the toilet bowl!” And then he closed the door shut and leaned his forehead on it with a sigh.

“Merlin?” Merlin jumped away from the door. “Don’t touch Excalibur, you might hurt yourself. And if you even think of stealing it, I will chop your head off with or without it.”

Then, without waiting for a response, Arthur sunk into a bath with a groan. Merlin covered his ears and run to the kitchen.

Excalibur as in… the sword? And Arthur as in… King Arthur? From the legends? Was he also named Pendragon or… Merlin quickly checked his phone and yep, everything fit, King Arthur Pendragon, Camelot, Excalibur.

Merlin sat on his plastic chair by the small square table and banged his head on it. It was just getting weirder and weirder. Could it be true? But even so, how? And why? And why Merlin? He was nothing special. He had a name of the famous sorcerer and people teased him about it all his life, but that’s it. He wasn’t… He didn’t have any magic in his life, as much as he dreamed about it, since he first read Harry Potter.

On the other hand sometimes… It was absolutely crazy, but sometimes a thing would happen - a perfect parking spot, the last one of his favourite scones in the bakery… It was just plain luck, but sometimes Merlin fancied himself more magic than lucky, because of his name. He thought he was crazy, but he had seen Arthur appearing into his living room. He’d seen it with his own two eyes.

He started to take out cheese and ham and he even found a tomato in the fridge. He took out some slices of bread.

He hoped it was a dream, you know. He would just go to sleep, wake up tomorrow and everything will be the same as it was that afternoon, the same as it was everyday. Merlin’s life was mostly consisted of routines, not much excitement to be had. Even the blokes he’s been with weren’t very good-looking or fit or exciting.

Then he almost sliced his finger off when he heard the bathroom door opening and a footsteps coming closer. “Hi, Arthur, sit here. Probably not what you’re used to, but... Why are you naked?”

And the thing was now that Arthur washed away all the grime and dirt and blood he was… The most beautiful man Merlin had ever seen. That square jaw and straight nose, and light eyes… And it was so unfair that Merlin couldn’t touch him it was like a physical blow. The breath of his shoulders was also unfair, and his bulging muscles. His hair was even lighter than he thought - it was a golden shade, the same colour was also on a sparse hair on his chest and legs and around his soft cock. There were so many scars on him, some faded and old and some new and angry red.

Merlin swallowed and looked up only to flush an ugly red colour, when those eyes met his and stayed there, looking perplexed.

“You said you will find me clothes, but I did not see any fitting ones in the basket. Why are you so red, Merlin? Do men in London shy away from each other’s bodies?”

And that was not something he was willing to get into, but Arthur had a commanding tone and Merlin found himself stumbling over his words, “It’s just very… intimate, to see the other person naked. Reserved for an, uhm, people that are close.”

Arthur looked genuinely interested. He planted his naked arse on the stool and started to eat. At least he had the decency to swallow before speaking again, “You said you don’t have servants in London. So who washes you, then? Or the royal wash themselves?”

“Everyone washes themselves here. There are no servants and everyone are equal. I mean we have a queen and whatnot, but they are also normal people, albeit a bit more reach than us simple peasants.”

Arthur nodded, eating his sandwich, while looking around the flat. It wasn’t anything impressive. Merlin was not the person to hoard things and he was relatively tidy. There was the fallen sofa, Excalibur leaning on it as Arthur left it, the pieces of armour strewn along the floor. Maybe he should’ve tidy up some before Arthur came out, but he was just too bloody tired.

Still, he made his way to his bedroom and found some gray sweatpants from his old boyfriend and a Nirvana t-shirt Gwaine left there ages ago and they both forgotten about it. He brought the clothes to Arthur, who was finished with all his sandwiches and even stole one of Merlin’s, the thief and was now standing in front of Merlin’s bookshelf. It was filled to the brim, and Arthur chose a book at random. Merlin knew very cover by heart and knew it was some old edition of Alice in Wonderland.

When he looked at Merlin, he was impressed. “So you can read.”

“What?” Merlin managed, didn’t know if to get offended or not by King Arthur thinking he was so stupid he was surprised when he learned Merlin actually could read and the books were there not only for display. “Of course I can read!”

Arthur put on the sweat pants quickly and frowned a bit at them for some reason. They rode really low on his hips, indecently low and Merlin tried not to let his eyes wander much.

“I just... “ Arthur seemed to be at a loss for words. “It’s just that not many peasants from where I come from are literate. Even some of the royal servants weren’t taught to do that. To be honest, some of the knights display a lack of ability to do so and aren’t interested in things like books.”

“Peasant?”

“Is that… a correct term?” Arthur wondered, looking at Merlin like he was a peculiar sort of creature. “How do you call incredibly poor people in your land?”

“I’m not that poor! How did you even…?”

Merlin didn’t come from a particularly wealthy family, but he managed to make something of himself, leave Ealdor and take a job as a kindergarten teacher at a public school, which allowed him to afford to live in a decent but small flat in the centre of London.

“Your clothes.”

“What?”

“Aren’t you cold in winter? You even don’t have any sleeves and your trousers are too tight.”

Merlin even forgot he wore those, but they weren’t that tight.

“Those are called skinny jeans. People wear them all the time!”

“Oh. Why? Aren’t you uncomfortable?”

“A bit, yeah. But that’s not the point! They flatter the shape of your legs.”

“So is anyone attracted to those spindly legs of yours, then?”

“Yes, and every bloke I’ve been with said my arse looks great!”

Arthur’s eyes widened. “So you’re a sodomite, then.”

Shit! Merlin just blurted out that… Did people get killed or whatever for liking it up the arse in medieval times? Or was it after? Shit, buggering fuck, and he thought they were starting to get along, even if the king was such a prat, he didn’t mean him any harm.

“You look scared. Don’t be. We do not speak of a congress between men, but it’s not uncommon to indulge oneself with other men, especially when there are no women or whores around and, that is to say… Is it forbidden in London?”

Merlin accepted it as a mean to cheer him up and he smiled, relieved. The last time he felt like that was when he came out to his friends only to learn they knew or suspected long before and accepted him for who he was.

But the last bit caught his attention and hope bloomed in his chest. He wondered if Arthur ever… At last he said, “No, no. We’re pretty liberal here… Well, not enough sometimes, but we’re getting there. I could even marry you if I wanted.”

Which was, evidently, not the right thing to say. Arthur gradually started becoming red in the face and the blush spread on his chest, which was still uncovered. He clutched a t-shirt in his hands.

“As in two men who love each other can marry, not me and you obviously. We should go to sleep.” Then he stopped and frowned.

He had only one bed.

#merlinmemorymonth #merthur #merlin #my fic #bbc merlin

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faunusrights · 6 years ago

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OFFAL HUNT REMASTER LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 9

oh goody!

well this is it. the Date Chapter. the chapter, in which, the Date happens. lowkey im so fucking hype for this stupid goddamn chapter AAAAAAAAAAAA this is when the sexy got kicked up about seven notches and i know its gonna be a fucking twenty from here on out so LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GO

“Is this your date, Ms. Fall?” he asked.

Cinder didn’t look away from Glynda. “Mhm.”

STRAIGHT OUT OF THE GODDAMN GATE WE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE A SECOND TO EVEN GATHER OURSELVES JUST STRAIGHT UP HUH!!!!!!!!! ‘is this your date’ im legally dead

What the fuck.

already im fucking THRIVING im so glad this chapter’s mood got encapsulated within the first ten seconds and im definitely gonna have to re-read this chapter for the full unannotated experience OOOOOOOOOH MY GOD IM SO READY

Glynda’s thoughts ricocheted inside her head like coins left in a dryer. A part of her couldn’t understand what was happening and disengaged. The rest of her, grasping for purchase in all this, reasoned that going with Cinder was better than staying here confused, alone, and utterly displaced.

glynda ‘i aint ever had a gf before’ goodwitch at her PEAK right here. like GOD shes gone from ‘cinder’s trying to murder me’ to ‘cinder just plopped me right into a date’ like CINDER. CINDER YR CHANGING GEARS SO FAST. YOU DIDNT EVEN SEND FLOWERS OR ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

is it because shes a u-haul lesbian or

Higher, Glynda realized the dress itself was backless, revealing the black tattoo she’d seen so often before, perfectly centered between sharp shoulder blades.

this gay energy is BONKERS, quite frankly??????? where did cinder get her dress from? why does she have it? did she buy it just for this fuckery? or will she pull the ‘i just had a this lil number laying around’ line????????? does she wanna seduce glynda to death?????? was this PLANNED OR DID SHE JUST DECIDE SHE WANTED A DATE AND WTH LIFE REALLY IS SHORT ON REMNANT THESE DAYS?????????? cinder fall please explain your workings to the class

maybe Glynda wasn’t the only one who’d become adept at reading her opponent.

👏 when 👏 will 👏 they 👏 kiss 👏 already 👏👏👏👏

me: this is a slowburn also me: if u assholes dont give me this in the next ten seconds-

“Unarmed? As if you could be so helpless.”

cinder’s style of flirting is just. commentating on a person’s deadliness. that’s IT it’s the only TRICK SHE HAS and its working, is the thing,

im reading the description of the table and remembering the shitpost and oh my god i have to draw this???? hell IS real!!!!!! COULDNT YALL JUST TOSS EM IN A PLAIN BOX,

Cinder eyed her from her bastion of dark cushions,

cinder, ass-deep in cushions: this is peak cuddle territory come and join me

Cinder, for her part, seemed delighted Glynda had noticed. Touching the pendant more gently than Glynda might have ever thought her capable of, Cinder said, “Yours? You didn’t seem to mind parting with it.”

im still deeply enjoying this powermove the novelty NEVER wears off (and at risk of light spoilers i do enjoy its place in this story 👀)

Cinder let the necklace drop, settling against the swell of her bust once more,

/lightly coughs 👀👀👀

im losing my MIND at how gay this bit is i physically cannot HANDLE IT and if they even describe the meal once im gonna pop off cause i am. SO HUNGRY RN. AAAAAAAAAAAA

Cinder indicated a dish of lamb and vegetables, served on a bed of rice and drizzled in some sort of sauce.

SRY THIS ISNT GAY BUT OH MY GOD IM SO HUNGRY I WANNA E A T I T THAT SOUNDS SO GOOD UGHGHGHGHGHGH WHY DID THIS CHAPTER HAVE TO BE TODAY OF ALL THE DAYS,

Glynda cleared her throat, working out: “The Grimm.”

like. GOD WE KNOW GLYNDA IS JUST SO FUNCTIONALLY BAD AT CONVERSATION BUT OF ALL THE THINGS glynda please just. just. stop thinking abt her sexy tattoos for a fifth of a second,

“You can control them.” A sedate blink. For all the world, Glynda might have just commented on the weather.

which is a faux pas for a date!!!!!!!!!!! at least tell her the DRESS IS SEXY WE ALL KNO WHATS WHAT YR THINKIN ABT

Glancing down as though it were being pointed out to her for the first time, Cinder shrugged and adjusted the end of the glove a little higher on her bicep. “And?”

a quick aside im enjoying how like... visually expressive cinder is in this remaster! i can see her facial expressions and her motions really clearly in my mind’s eye which is a fun little boon if only because i have to redraw this nonsense hjsgdfjhfksgd but cinder’s got a Good Face this time around! A QUALITY FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You should know by now, there’s something about you that’s simply irresistible to Grimm.”

HERE COMES THE PLOT (and a single surviving line so far... this one sentence has survived all the world could throw at it... we stan)

Cinder straightened, and Glynda saw that this was what she’d been waiting for.

“It isn’t every day the great Glynda Goodwitch kneels before her adversary, is it?”

HELLO??????????????????????????? WHATS THIS WORDING????????? honestly tho for a second i thought she meant like. quite literally and i thought id missed some PROPER SHIT RIGHT THERE BUT YEAH WTH!!!!!!! C I N D E R

“You cheated. You can’t beat me on your own.”

yes glynda we gathered that yr a top

“Really, Glynda? Poison?” she sneered, something like offense simmering in her expression. “After all this?”

looks at the camera

anyway,

god im literally losing grasp of words to say because theres such a charged mood in this scene............. theyre brushing fingers............ trading jabs.......... im slurpin it up babey!!!!!!!! this rly is the BEST remaster of this whole scene it DESERVES this wordcount!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Beat you,” Cinder corrected. “And call it a point of pride.”

yes cinder we gathered yr a brat,

this dynamic is why this fic is so fuckign good when will winter have a swift return to add even more fuckery to this wild ride

Then, with a heavy-lidded look, Cinder found Glynda’s hand between them, the touch so sudden and daring that Glynda flinched. The fabric of those gloves was smooth against Glynda’s flesh, and for all that cruelty had marked every other instance of contact between them, Cinder was surprisingly gentle.

whomp there go my nuts

WHAT IS THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO MADE THE EXECUTIVE CHOICE TO ADD THIS LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO???????????? im losing my BRAINCELLS

What she wasn’t ready for was for Cinder to guide her hand to her own throat and hold it there.

THERE IS IT THERE’S THE KINK IT’S BEEN SPOTTED

oh my GOD what even IS THIS WHO ADDED THIS SECTION WHO ALLOWED THIS TO COME TO P A S S WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS RN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO????????? HEWWO??????????

Now… Now Cinder interested her.

tbh how can i liveblog this? what commentary can i POSSIBLY add that we arent already all THINKING. we just launched into a level of hell so deep that lucifers gonna have to pull some goddamn tricks to follow us down here!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS THIS SCENE! THIS MOMENT! IM SCREAMING

Glynda mirrored the expression back at him, and finally, he coughed, not making strong eye contact with either of them. He set their plate before them and hurried out without so much as a check-in.

i just KNEW that was gonna happen JHGDSFGJHKSDF he was gonna walk in on SMTHNG but i didnt think itd be CINDER’S CHOKING KINK,

okay i took a break and ate my weight in roast chicken and we’re back babey

Almost nervously, her fingers carded through her own dark hair, and there, among the locks, Glynda spotted a glimpse of something white, structured and ridged.

AND I AM INSTANTLY KNOCKED BACK UPON MY ASS 👈W👈H😨A👈T👈

It was easier to ignore the rest of it—whatever it was.

glynda you are a fool and a moron im withering into DUST

On no level had she expected those to be Glynda’s words.

then what... did she expect... well probably -- and rightly so -- ‘bitch WHAT ARE THOSE’ TBH

wait sorry i have to jump back because i forgot customary fingerguns on the most brazen bit of Shit yet:

Cinder was occupying herself with something else: the head of a dragon, perched over the door and staring down at the two of them with red, glossy eyes.

👈👈👈😎👈👈👈

okay BACK TO THE FIC

Fangs snapped together around the word.

aka back to me horni

/chanting TEETH! TEETH! TE

okay but the reason i doubled back to catch that fingergun is because we’re getting ass-deep into plot now!!!!!!!!!!! WITCHES AND DRAGONS BABEY......... HERE’S WHAT OFFAL HUNT IS ALL ABT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant rly drop more fingerguns than that because any astute reader will start realising the dots im shouting abt and honestly half the fun of this fic is the ride so >:3c

“Funny. I was sure he would have told you.”

that blow was so low i think cinder hit the concrete with that one

oh god theyre gonna get to the bit and i-

“Is that what all of this has been about? You called me here to remind me that I'm autistic?”

/SCREAMS

The words were delivered firmly, calmly, but Cinder’s response was the opposite, sudden upheaval seizing her. Her expression opened in something akin to panic. “Wh—no? What? No! That's not what I—”

/SCREAMS

oh my GOD CINDER YOU HAVE FUCKED UP LEGENDARILY!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD SHE WAS FELL ASS-FIRST ONTO A LANDMINE OH MY GOD

offal hunt v1 cinder: im totally in control and im playing glynda every step of the way

offal hunt v2 cinder: OH JESUS OH FUCK OH NO THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT-

Cinder seemed genuinely stressed now, speaking quicker as though trying to bury the last sixty seconds.

i knew this remaster would have sections that would blow me away but this bit really took the fcuking cake DGHSJFSJHFDG holy SHIT this is AMAZING

It was difficult to tell in the low light, but if Glynda wasn't mistaken, there was a bright flush of embarrassment coloring Cinder’s cheeks.

this is SUCH prime content hey remember in one of the early liveblogs that cinder would descend into full dork? WELL THE DESCENT CAME EARLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /pops bottles

“Cinder.” There was a very real line of threat in Glynda’s tone. “Don’t.”

oh this whole scene just keeps getting better i am LOVING this dynamic now!!!!!!! before it was all pretty one-sided so having the conversation rock back and forth is 👌👌👌

That Witch soul of yours—it was designed to void out everything but the prey before you. To be numb to all human emotion. To focus on the hunt and nothing else.

finally the fruit of 50% of my fingerguns COMES TO LIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! PLOT PLOT PLOT

“This is bullshit.” Jabbing an accusing finger at Cinder, Glynda said, “You’re a liar. You’re a criminal!”

i LOVE glyndas pottymouth in this its such a good like... change from her being strict and formal and teachery and now shes full on gremlin huntress hell YES BABY!!!!!!!!!! GO OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“There’s all kinds of things I bet he never told you.” Cinder continued. “Did you know he was close to your predecessor? The Witch who came before you—they were inseparable.”

SRY IM LIKE STRUGGLIN TO COMMENTATE because so much of this like. speaking as an Old-Ass Reader this is like. a LOT! A LOT HAS CHANGED and yet,,,, stayed the same,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, yall kids WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL CHAPTER LIKE................ 15 FOR THIS SHIT (but like. chapter 15 was different because this chapter used to be like chapter 7? so now everythings moved along so chapter 15 doesnt sound that impressive but trust me it was a different fic back then)

When they fell away, burnt and ruined, she could see Cinder’s bare arms for the first time. The red lines drawn across her skin sloped down the entire length of her arms, circling her elbows, carved into her wrists. They ended right at her hands, ensuring any long-sleeved garment would hide them. Every covered inch of her was filled like a canvas, like abstract art.

lets pause the fight scene for glynda to be gay!!!!! god im. okay look i said this earlier but im so glad we have more cinder like this tbh. the first version was rly lacking w/ cinder content until late-game when the plot sorta. got itself going? but now we’re eye-deep in this content i LOVE cinder i love this WEIRDO who is a HUGE LOSER and IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Glynda could not dispel the fear that she had been telling the truth.

and after committing Some Amount In Damages, we’re at the end of the chapter!

okay so i really enjoyed this version SO MUCH MORE. everything abt it was polished and worked together so much better and it really needed the space to breathe in its own chapter. its been horny, gay, intense, hilarious, and way more in one chapter and its SO good this really is PEAK offal hunt!!!!!!!!!!!! good job diesel and kc but im still going to murder you both,

#rwby #offal hunt #liveblog

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khaelisfics · 7 years ago

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Insecurities

Paring: Tentoo/Rose Tyler Rating: G Word count: 1700 Tags: Fluff

Read on AO3

From a nonny prompt found on @doctorroseprompts: Tentoo and Rose arrived in Pete’s World just a few days ago and are still adapting. While he’s working on their new TARDIS, he starts talking about some insecurities and distracted, didn’t realize that Rose arrived home. So of course she assures him that everything will be alright. I started writing this more than a week ago but I’ve just finished it - and I’m not happy with it, seriously, just go read the fill by @skyler10fic, so much better than this, hehe! :-)

Still, here goes, who knows, maybe you’ll like it!

He sighed into the palm that was cradling the bottom of his face, staring at the little piece of coral pulsing softly with a dull orange glow. He knew nothing was wrong with the installation he had carefully put into place, from the dozens of cables attached to the coral sending light sparks of electricity to help with its growth, to the nest of minerals he had gathered together so it could feed on low-energy nutrients. He still tugged on a cable to make sure it was properly hooked, pushed a chunk of cobalt with his fingertips, moved a nugget of zircon closer. It would take time before that tiny bit of Tardis flesh would grow big enough to develop a potent enough conscience to take them on trips around the universe, years, probably a whole decade, even. But impatience was already brewing in the pit of his stomach.

He stole a glance at the clock he had hung onto a wall of the basement where his makeshift lab had been set up - Rose had refused to let him perform his experiments anywhere near remotely inflammable things, which basically crossed off every room in their small house, thus the basement. His sense of time was still perfectly intact, and he didn’t need a clock. He liked it, because of the sound it made as the seconds slowly ticked away. A harmless reminder that time had never mattered more now that he was growing older, day after day. Only three days since he’d arrived in this universe, three days since he had grown out of that hand, three days since he’d understood what the human part of this body implied. He could feel himself age, the cells dying to be replaced by brand new ones, every time with a little less life inside them. He noticed things thanks to the Time Lord abilities he hadn’t lost. A weakness in a joint, a hair single hair slowly losing its colours, a small wrinkle more in the corner of an eye. Rose couldn’t see those changes happen, and that was good. He didn’t to add that to the pile of growing worries his thoughts were building on.

The fact that she wasn’t home yet, among many others. It was well into the sixth hour of the afternoon, and she should have been back approximately thirty minutes back if the traffic was alright, twelve minutes back if the traffic was bad - he had checked and double-checked the route she took and came up with exactly seventeen calculations that gave him the precise range of time it took her to go from work to their house depending on a variety of circumstances. And she was late.

“Why is she avoiding me?” he murmured into the silence of the basement, brushing a thumb on the coral. “Do you think we went too fast?”

He almost expected the little Tardis embryo to answer, but it only glowed brighter for a fraction of a second. Still, the sulky temperament that had sprouted in his new-found human side had no trouble interpreting it as a confirmation.

“It was a bad idea to move in together,” he sighed, letting his elbow slide over the desk so he ended up half sprawled over it. “We should have… I don’t know, dated? Like humans do, you know. So she can get to know me. Well, I’m basically the same, of course, but maybe she doesn't realize that. I mean… She doesn’t love me, you see. She doesn't say it, she doesn't show it. This morning she didn’t even kiss me goodbye.”

One of the wires sparked, a tiny electric arc reaching his finger so fast he jerked his hand away with a curse of pain.

“I know, alright?” he seethed at the coral, sucking the burnt flesh into his mouth. “I’ve been a pain, I get it. But seriously, this life isn’t for me. I can do it with Rose, but I can’t do it without her. I can’t, I’ll go completely bonkers by the time you hit puberty. She doesn’t want to be with me. She’s spent a grand total of eleven hours and thirty-eight minutes, what does that tell you? Yes, I counted, you little judgmental piece of… Of Tardis. She spent just under sixteen percent of her time with me over the past three days! Torchwood this, and paperwork that, and where do I stand in all this? What am I, some kind of pet it’s alright to leave alone at home while she goes on her stupid errands? Seriously, I just…”

He was cut halfway through his angry tirade when a pair of naked arms snaked around his waist, drew him into a hug from behind, and a warm, full mouth planted a kiss on the nape of his neck.

“Hello, Doctor,” her beautiful voice smiled into his ear.

“Rose,” he gasped as he twirled around in her arms, terrified that she’d heard too much of his vehement protest.

The apology he wanted to offer died in his throat at the sight of her deep blue dress, the kind of dress he had never seen her wear yet. The skirt stopped mid-thigh, the strapless corset hugged her waist and pushed her breast up to form an impressive cleavage that was made all the prettier by the pendant she was wearing around her neck - he had to swallow a weird squeak when he noticed it was the Tardis key she had brought with her in this universe.

“Rose, you look…” the Doctor started, thinking he would never find the right words to describe her beauty. “You look…”

“You don’t like it?” she teased, peering at him though her thick eyelashes.

“I do, Gods, I do, but… Why? What’s the occasion?”

She bit into her lower lip, a sheepish smile tugging at her lips, and she grasped his tie to pull him on his feet.

“You’re right, you know,” Rose admitted, running a thumb up his tie, to the small curve between his clavicles then up his throat to finally settle on the dip of his chin. “We haven’t spent enough time together.”

“You… You heard, then,” he grimaced, his shoulder slumping slightly. “Rose, you weren’t supposed to.”

“But I did. You got a few things wrong, though.”

“Did I, really?”

“Oh, yes, Doctor. Let me count them up for you.”

The Doctor’s breath hitched in his throat when she pushed her against the edge of the desk and moulded her body against his.

“One, I am not avoiding you. Two,” she paused to press a hard, languid kiss on his kips half-parted in awe, “I did kiss you goodbye this morning, but your head was so far up your bum you probably forgot.”

He moaned into her mouth when she kissed him again, his hands flying to her waist to find an anchor, his stupid human heartbeat going rampant in his ribcage. Okay, maybe she really liked to kiss him, after all - and he couldn’t exactly deny he absolutely adored kissing her, too. And then, her leg slipped between his, her bare foot caressed his calf and her knee slid up his thigh, and his quiet moan turned into a loud groan.

“Three,” she murmured against is cheek, trailing her mouth to his ear, her teeth biting lightly his lobe. “It was a very good idea to move in together. Because believe me, Doctor, we have to make up for so many lost opportunities, we’re gonna need to spend quite some time alone, if you get my meaning. Four...”

Rose brought her hand to his chest, splaying her fingers over his heart.

“I know it’s you, my Doctor,” she kept going, drawing the symbolic shape of a heart across the pectoral defined under his tight shirt. “There’s no him. There’s you. Just you. And five…”

Her cheekiness had only paved the way to a much deeper, sweeter feeling, and she tenderly cupped his face in both her hands to stare into his shiny chocolate eyes.

“I love you,” she smiled, putting the same emphasize on the word you as he had on the word me. “I always have, I always will. I’m sorry the last few days have been hectic, Doctor, but there was so much to do. I’m sorry I was away from you, but I did it for us. Here, look at this.”

The Doctor watched as she produced a small plastic card from behind her back and waved it under his nose.

“Your brand new ID, Doctor, so you can work, go out and basically live a normal life until your baby Tardis is all grown up. That’s why I’m wearing this dress. That’s the occasion. I want to take you on a date tonight. Celebrate the start of us, if you like. How does that sound?”

“Oh, Rose,” he could only whisper, unable to believe she had managed to crush down all of his worries within a short span of two minutes when they’d been brewing in the pit of his stomach for days. “That sounds… Wonderful.”

“Yeah?” she asked with a tongue-touched grin, loving the way his eyes gleamed with a sudden happiness.

“Oh yes,” he confirmed, drawing her into a quick hug before he grabbed her hand and made her spin around on her feet - she pretended to lose her balance, letting herself fall into his arms with a merry giggle. “I love you, Rose. I’m sorry I doubted you.”

“S’alright, Doctor, I know. Come on, go change into a proper tux, Mister Smith, we’re gonna be late.”

“Hm, Smith… “ he mulled the name on the tip of his tongue. “Rose, this might sound a bit silly, but… Would you mind just calling me Doctor when it’s just us? No that I don’t appreciate you getting me this but…”

“Of course I can, Doctor,” she smiled, perfectly aware of the reasons why he wanted her to use this name. “Now go.”

“Right, yes, date,” he nodded with an excited grin, planting a quick peck on her cheek. “Be right back, love you.”

“Love you too, Doctor.”

#doctorroseprompts #ficandchips #tentoo x rose #fluff #prompt fill #prompt fic #metacrisis doctor #rose tyler #tentoo #one shot

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fireflythecinnamonjollyrancher · 4 years ago

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hello it is once again time for my end of the year wrap up. this should be... interesting

january

finally finally got to have a happy apartment experience!!!!! tried out tea drops which are dope. there was a fair amount of stress revolving around APO induction and the musical rehearsal, but we made it!!! partied hardy (the infamous tess in the washing machine incident) kelli was watching always sunny more often than not. i wore some arguably bad clothing but ya know. gays. we tried to take off my closet door (it did NOT work). the beginning of the goose saga! there was a sleet storm so kelli and i made some popcorn and watched mike birbiglia’s new special. darci, kelli and i went out to eat and then ended up in babcock playing air hockey before watching videos with kai who was on duty. PEP BAND???? some good memories formed there. dogs in the library! got bullied by my library boss to put gas in my car and i sent her a video of proof that i did it “daddy long legs” “stop. what?” “the musical” (i do love timothy) i actually practiced my instrument lol wild. WE (becky, celeste, timothy and i) WATCHED SPIRIT and got wildly drunk -- the origin of “[redacted] [redacted] who???” which is my favorite joke.

february

MORE PEP BAND im actually really glad i spent my last few college months dicking around with the band. one man drumline!!! kai made some good tiktoks in our apartment! miss hanging with them it was really fun. oh i hung out with sam and celeste watching movies “he was a boy, she was a dolphin, can i make it anymore [strangled dolphin noises]” OUR MICROWAVE HANDLE BROKE OFF while kelli was gone man that entire apartment was falling apart (hey dumbass grab from top) -- a list of things that were broken in our apartment: fridge light, front entry light, showerhead, phone. the birth of the beans insta!!!! got hit on when i was at taco bell with timothy by being accused of being trans (taco bell guy was not far off to be fair). oh the improv posters as compared to the posters i built for an organization fair. went out and got daRUNK at what appears to be wandas. really struggled with my period. cut hair with kelli n darci. MOZZ STICKS. “you still a lil bitch???” oh we did kpy pal-entines!!! where we ate good food and watched the princess bride!!! i received the plush goose. there was a possible bombing at the bank next door to where we rehearsed for band. aw i went on a tommy’s date with becky that was cute. they tried to STEAL the QUESO. disagreed with a curb and still have those scars. worked a horrible gig at the theatre. closing shifts at the library baby! middle school tours EW more library dogs! fish hooks song oh my god. drunk mash nights!!! i rewatched HAVEN and had lots of feelings. actually got drunk alone a lot which was Bad. however michael malloys birthday! watched choir concert at work lol. stats final whilst drunk!!!! becky got a piercing

march

here things go downhill rapidly. hit up the trains at least once. oh late library nights with timothy!!!! the best nights i miss hanging with him while at work. struggled with my car. went on a college sponsored adventure to a back alley farm. SCURVY FEARS. opening shifts that were lonely. oh celeste played plague and named it covid and won lol yikes. the infamous apartment cone. we stayed up long enough to see the sunrise on literally the last day in college I would ever have. that was good. I FOUND OUT KELLI HAD GLASSES im still pissed. came home indefinitely. went to st patty’s day at brookes with karrigan and that was SO much fun (this was before things seemed real) the best part of that was the irish pub owner who happened to have a son that went to my college. got my mom onto tik tok. took a gay lit class. can’t believe i took daily fckn walks around the pasture who was i. hosted virtual meetings for apo and played around with the closed captioning. that was fun. shaved my moms head lmaooo. worked on my capstone which im like super proud of? i wish i could have directed it but say law vee.

april

BAGPIPE CORPS INTERNATIONAL. virtual band wreaked havoc on my animals mental health. my grandmother would always bug me while i was working which i understand now was misplaced love but it was so irritating at the time. we had library meetings once a week or so that was vital to mental health. hosted a really fun “panel” about queer identity for my queer lit class that was able to educate a lot of people. having a capstone class with am*lia was a nightmare. watched a cirque du soleil show for free and lost my mind. wrote a comedic monologue that i suffered through. suffered through papers and projects. worked on a project with celeste and kelli and we had SUCH a good time. i hosted several jackbox nights for both apo and kpy. that was SUCH an exhausting experience. also uno and drawful with the uno group (kelli would win 100% of the time). ranted about group projects lol i struggled. OH THE MOVE OUT DEBACLE i really went off the deep end. kelli’s virtual birthday!!!!

may

we had so many good jackbox nights. academic showcase and honors convocation happened wherein i was name bronco award winner and that really wrecked me too lol. we had a sunday crew hang out for library workers. clarinet game night too! i tried so hard to build community during covid and im not altogether sure i accomplished it but ya know whatever. watsky broke the record! made my “aced it” grad cap which was so FUNNY and still is tbh. becky taught me how to do makeup. took grad pictures at an abandoned farmhouse lol OH MY GOSH BEAUX ARTS AND APO SKIT i was so proud of that night and annette said it was the best one we’d ever had. wish i had done more but we did it boys. also got VERY drunk for it lol completely redid my room. bc it was NASTY. the way i write papers is so SO funny to me. had our last capstones class and then dressed in grad outfits for our last lit meeting . graduated and got all my stuff from college finally. went shopping with timothy, had el puerto with becky (i think?). oh the infamous miller moths UGH shit is nasty. THE FORMING OF BANJO SHRIMPS occurred on may 24 2020 and that was the absolute best thing to come out of this year. started working at my dads agency which was the absolute worst thing to come out of this year. attended my first protest in cos which was good and healthy. started protesting regularly after that. my most poignant memory was laying down in front of city hall and chanting “i cant breathe” for 8 minutes.

june

it snowed???? i was angry. part of my job was reading my dad’s email and there was some WACKO shit in there. went to brookes for pride as a surprise which was cute n fun. had a horrible interaction with a client. the appearance of the bigfoot statue!!!! we had a vanilla beans hang out. there was a WILD storm that literally made my hide out in the office.

july

went on a bonkers rant about america bc fuck this place. helped mom out with homework. we had several clients get divorces which was messy. went to a Bad party where i was angry the whole time. went to the top of pikes peak with my grandma and saw many much bigfoot things. we got a GOOSE he hated us so much. oh there was a night where darci and kai came over and we hijacked kelli’s spotify and communicated that way it was SO funny. took a video of the dichotomy of man bc of my long ass leg hair and short ass head hair. shaved my head to the BONE and tried dragon fruit. GOT NIKO ON JULY 24 my sweet sweet boy lil bat looking motherfucker. got denied for life insurance for mental health reasons.

august

went back to hc for a birthday “party” and to see the band. did a lot in that weekend (stayed with timothy’s family, helped becky move, met kelli’s look-alike, saw timothy and karlie’s new house!!! had lunch with kellis family which is closest to “meet my parents” i think i’ll ever get lmao). got my prof headshots and hate every single one of them but more for self esteem reasons lol. neighbors got goats and my mom lost her marbles. got trapped in traffic on the way back from hc. niko had crackhead energy. oooooooh documented gender crisis. ma got more chickens. went to a birthday party for a high school friend and was just... so out of my element. its weird. took off my grandma’s bathroom door bc she had knee surgery. started a full time job as my grandmother’s caretaker (love working for the family business lol).

september

went to breckenridge with a friend!!!!!! spicy times lol. cleaned the cupboard. had a birf. turned 22. cas finished her drugs!!!! and felt much better. we did a charcuterie board for my birthday which was very fun. Got a mixer set!!! went to hc for homecoming and graduated!!!!! surprised celeste and hannah with a celebration party for them (it was a lot of fun). came up with my BEST joke (summa cum laude). got called tf out for my gender crisis via tarot. got the goose game!!!! played the goose game!!!!

october

applied to chicago center!!!! will now be working there for a year!!!! this was the first documentation of banjo shrimp nights. surprised my dad for boss day by working with the team to fill his office with balloons. house sat for dad’s friends. started taking showers in the dark. went to celestes and made PASTA wow got very drunk and while she slept i just explored a strangers house. voted!!!!! wow. finally (finally) started to accept that i was maybe agender. had a snow day but i couldn’t work so that was fun. had halloween with banjo shrimps where i dressed up as david rose. that was SUCH a good night. participated in ace week!!! then, dressed as radar for actual halloween and had monumental. worked a volunteer haunted house and like... actually did pretty good?? felt like a real adult!!!!

november

so many things happened in november. i finished miraculous ladybug on netflix. had another bad interaction with a client bc the customer is always wrong. shaved my head. PRESENTATION NIGHT to distract from the election lmao what a good time. had so many emotions about the election. then biden won and we lost our damn minds -- video called with celeste and becky to celebrate (with the reminder that we know that this doesn’t solve everything but it was such a huge sigh of relief). started watching the last kids on earth. made more PASTA and soup! got my GHOSTY TATTOO. kahoot night with the banjo shrimps lol. watched the supernatural finale with kelli (what good memories) rewatched 3below good shit. got the chicago job so i quit being an insurance person!!!! brooke came for thanksgiving!!!

december

i dont wanna talk about it but i finally started watching unus annus (theres an archive its not the same but it provided me wild amounts of serotonin). “call that invisible split dye”. crimmus. had a video call with people from high school i rarely if ever see. this entire month has been a fuckin blur my guys but i’m so excited for what’s next. in two days i will be in an apartment in chicago. i will be reunited with my best friend in a little under two weeks. i cannot emphasize enough how excited i am for this next chapter. so yeah. that was my year. im sure there was more memories but that’s what the sideblog is for lol

#firefly talks #yearly wrap up

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imagine-that-one-thing · 7 years ago

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Dripping in Diamonds.

Authors Note: Hello, I am not sure what this or where it is leading but here is an AU as you will be able to pick up on if you wish to read. Enjoy! :) xx Harry Masterlist found HERE

Most people, looking from the outside in, would say I have it all, and to a certain extent on some days they are accurate, but on others, they are far from right.

Most would suppose I have it all because of the array of cars that grace the driveway of a mansion that has more square feet than I could have ever envisioned, an estate that accommodates more silently, shivering walls of secrets and disgrace than anyone could ever apprehend. Let’s not neglect the diamonds— oh the gorgeous Diamonds— Diamonds that grace my neck and drip with cold stone tears. Others observe the magnificent terrace of roses but they overlook the thorns that caress the stem that draws blood. But yes, I have it all. The luxury vehicles, outfits, brilliant diamonds, a chauffeur and superficial love.

As I make my way to descending the white Italian marble staircase, the exclusive element that echoes is the character of my heels catching each stair as I delicately make my way down steps. The manor is tranquil and doesn’t have the slightest flicker of a homespun, warmhearted quality. It’s bland, bitter, and motionless, but wealth is scattered everywhere, from across veneers to the contemporary interior. In the corner of my eyes, I notice our majordomo watching me. He is someone who oversees the day-to-day responsibilities of the business enterprise, he speaks, makes arrangements, and takes charge when my husband is unable to or is simply too lazy to do so himself. I halt in my tracks and turn to face him. He adjusts his posture before beginning to speak, “lovely day for a drive,” I inform him and he instantly nods. He knows better than to ask where I am going, he understands I will not say, he knows my desires to escape, after all, his eyes are everywhere, he witnesses everything, he identifies everything.

“Off the grid?” He queries and I nod, “very well, as it stands at eight-fifteen A.M, I have yet to see you and do not know your whereabouts if Mr Archibold questions. Be safe.” He delivers me his typically feigned smile just as the second head in charge enters. I like to refer to her as the majordomos sidekick. As demeaning as this may appear, I sometimes refer to them as Cogsworth and Lumiere. Cogsworth has the position of majordomo in the castle, alongside Lumiere who is the castle’s Maître d'hôtel. To me, it makes perfect sense to reference them as the two characters, but since everyone else in this gosh- damned manor have sticks up their asses, I refrain from exercising the terms unless we are alone, purely because half the crew has no sense of humour. Not to mention, they bow down at my husbands every movement and worship the soil he marches on.

I dismiss the two and I saunter out the front entrance. The warm summer breeze kisses my body incredibly, nearly emitting a sense of developing clarity over me. I felicitously sweep down the stone steps to approach the walkway where my car and chauffeur await me.

“Mrs. Archibald, you seem content this morning,” my body shivers at being called Mrs. Archibald, I resent the name. I eschew it the best I can. But, I dismiss the contempt when my chauffeur produces me his contagious smile and luminous eyes that could melt my heart if I had one.

I lost that thing years ago. I’m surprised I even have a heartbeat.

“I could say the same about you, Mr. Styles,” I curl my lips up into a smile as he reaches for my door and opens it for me, instead of sliding in, I take in his features in this impeccable sunlight. He’s radiating, quite literally and beautifully I may add.

“Where are we off to on this summer day?” He questions and I incur his eyes subtly attempting to look me up and down.

I refrain from smirking at his wondering eyes and alternatively, I take in a breath, embracing the summer morning air, “You decide, you’re the driver.”

“Madam, all due respect, but your husband would consider that kidnapping,” Mr.Styles snickers in a somewhat whimsical manner and I roll my eyes at him.

“All due respect Mr.Styles, but I sign your paycheck, not my husband,” I respond and with my free hand, I glide my sunglasses to cover my eyes before I relax between the leather interior of the car while the door seals.

The car emanates of a mix of pristine leather and a masculinity scent.

I shift my sunglasses to rest back on top of my head as Mr.Styles opens the privacy divider so I can observe him as he starts the car, “I require some sort of location on where you’d wish to go.”

I hum a sigh as I stare at him through the rearview mirror, a slight smirk kissing my lips as I catch a glimpse of him adjusting the tie around his neck. “Choose something with a pleasing view that is at least two hours away.”

“Is a five-hour drive too long for today?”

“Hmm, as thrilling as that appears, it is too far. I can’t go off the grid for ten hours, not today,” I respond with a heavy sigh, as much as I would love to leave for such a long time, I actually have to pretend to appreciate my husband’s company tonight.

“Oh, yes,” Styles nods, “that Garla, I remember now. How about a two and a half hour drive?”

“Seems fine, if that ridiculous tie my husband forces you wear is irritating you, you can take it off.”

I am not inspiring him to leisurely take that tie off that is suspending excellently, encompassing his neck, but I am also not~ not encouraging him.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to get fired, kind of need this job.”

“Positive,” I consent, his right hand reaching for his tie and untangling it as his left-hand stays caressed to the steering wheel as he drives.

I lean back on the leather and become comfortable, enjoying the quietness and the breeze that is managing to press through the small crack in the window.

When Nate, my husband is in the vehicle, he insists on having the windows up and the AC on. Nathan has a distaste for wind clasping to his face and blowing through his hair, he much prefers to stay relaxed with the AC sweeping through the car while he stays glued to that damn phone of his. God ever forbid if we end up in a desolate region where there is no phone service, the man would go bonkers and disremember how to breathe.

“Mrs Archibald-”

I swiftly cut Mr Styles gentle sounding voice off, “Please don’t call me that when Nathan is not around.”

Mr Styles clears his throat and nods, “Madam, what do you prefer?”

“My name.”

“Which is?” He questions with his eyes intently focused on the road. For a moment I cock my head to the side and stare at him from my position in the back of the car.

How does he not know what my name is?

“Do you not know my name?” He immediately challenges out of curiosity. Certainly, he grasps that Mrs Archibald isn’t my only name. Of course, I know his name.

I nod while he briskly lifts his eyes to glance at me in the rearview mirror, “Harold,”

He chuckles and I swear in the blink of an eye everything kindled into a brighter shade, “No, my name is Harry,”

“On your forms, it states Harold,”

“Well, yes. Harold enunciates more formal than Harry. I uh-”

“You lied,” I raise a brow, savouring how he suddenly begins to squirm and become flustered.

“I uh- no, well, yes,” he stammers, “I just-”

“Relax,” I interrupt his range of stutters and nervousness as he endeavours to think of what to say, “It isn’t a big deal,” I shrug, not caring about such an insignificant thing. My husband would flip if he found out, but I don’t care about minimal information. “Why’d you do it?”

“I didn’t think I would receive the job as Harry, I thought a posher calling name would benefit me. I just- I honestly needed the job, I am sorry Madam.”

“It is fine, Harry or Harold, whichever one you are going by,” I chuckle teasingly and I observe as he attempts to conceal a developing smirk that is gathering at his lips.

“You have yet to tell me what you wish to be called,”

“Eleanor. How long until we arrive at this unknown destination?”

“Well, Eleanor. Look out the window, we are here.” Harry informs me and I drag my eyes to look out the window where they cast upon an array of limestone-carved arches and beautiful crystal water that glimmers against the rays of the sun. “Man O’War Beach, Dorset, one of the best-hidden beaches,” Harry’s voice takes my attention right before he steps out of the driver’s seat and opens my door. Harry offers his hand and I press mine it to step out.

Automatically, my body is encompassed by the settling breeze of the beach and the satisfying echo of meagre waves resting against the delicate sand and few pebbles, from what I can observe from up here.

I wander to the edge of the South West Coast Path and inhale a deep breath before I begin to stroll down the stone edges steps, “Eleanor,” Harry’s voice distracts me and I turn around to face him with my head cocked to the side, unaware of what his problem may be. “You can’t march down there on your own, especially in heels,” Harry gestures towards the heels that grace my feet.

“You’d be surprised at what I can do in heels, Styles.”

“Although I am sure you can do quite a lot, you shouldn’t walk the steps on your own.”

“Well, join me,” I shrug, turning back around and walking down the stone steps to the wonderful beach in view.

My hair brushes to fall over my shoulder as the wind whispers around me and I clasp my hand to hold my dress from flowing in the wind while my other hand holds my heels.

I take a breath and feel a sense of harmony and clarity coating over me, a relaxing aura. Without much consideration, I conduct myself to the water’s edge and enable the stream to ripple over the tips of my toes and escort its way over my feet.

Saltwater remedies all wounds and for a moment the ocean pacifies my restless soul as it continues to embrace my bare skin. I rise further in, rumpling my dress to cut off mid-thigh as I wander further into the ocean.

“Eleanor, what are you doing?” Harry’s voice becomes raised against the character of the seaside.

I turn around to confront him with a grin, my hands allowing my dress to fall to the water as I take a few steps backwards, relishing the feel of the water cleansing my soul and body. I launch my hands up in the air, “Embracing, simply embracing.” … “You should try it,” my voice comes off as more of a giggle while I spin myself around like a child, appreciating how the water feels urged against my skin.

He shakes his head as he crosses his arms over his white button up, “I don’t have a change of clothes.”

“Neither do I,” I acknowledge, “Embrace, Harry.” I encourage but he resists and continues to observe me from the shore while I enable my feet to curl into the damp sand beneath me.

I sigh as I leave the water and sand adheres to me as I stroll towards Harry, “Did you have fun?"

"Mhm, shame you are no fun,” I mutter, wrapping my arms around me as I feel the breeze becoming chilly as it brushes against my half damp body and dress.

Harry rolls his eyes and purses his lips into a precise line, “I am fun,” he hums as his hand’s press to his buttons and the peaks of his fingers begin to unbutton. “Here, use this until we get back to the car,” he hands me his white shirt and I take it from his hands with a little reluctance. My eyes flutter to browse his tan skinned that is a sharp plane of alps and abs. He is so toned and divine.

I strain my eyes away from his body despite how lovely it is to admire.

I bring it up to my arms and draw it around my front to shield me from the breeze, “Shall we?” He gestures towards the steps that lead up to where the car is. I give him a nod and transit across the sand.

#Harry styles imagines #harry styles prompt #harry styles prompts #imagine harry styles #harry styles blurbs #harry styles blurb #harry styles fluff #harry styles preference #harry styles preferences #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfics #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfictions #harry styles writing

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entergamingxp · 4 years ago

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The Third Remastered Review — All About Family

May 21, 2020 10:01 AM EST

Saints Row: The Third Remastered is a mediocre port of one of the best games from the last generation.

Saints Row: The Third is, in many ways, the best Fast & Furious game ever made. Granted, that’s not a high bar to cross. At least until Fast & Furious Crossroads finally comes out. However, both franchises share quite a few similarities that make them excellent. Both are unabashedly bombastic, providing first act spectacle that any other game or movie would save for the climax. Saints Row and F&F know they have so much more left in the tank that they aren’t afraid to hit you with the good stuff early.

Both franchises are also perfectly fine being silly. Saints Row definitely goes further down that route, but scenes like the Oscar-worthy “ejecto seato cuz” would translate seamlessly. I mean, Roman Pearce is basically a Saints Row character, to be honest. Heck, they even both have offshoots that are terrible representations of what makes the franchises great. I’m looking at you, Agents of Mayhem and Hobbs & Shaw.

Most importantly, both series are all about family. The over-the-top stunts are going to be the biggest talking point, but seeing a ragtag group of criminals come together as a family is what these games and movies are all about.

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“Seeing a ragtag group of criminals come together as a family is what these games are all about.”

I say all this not just because I love to talk about Fast & Furious. Certainly, that’s part of it, but mostly, it’s just to illustrate that Saints Row isn’t just about explosions and sex dolls. It’s a series with heart and characters that you come to care about over the course of the series. And Saints Row: The Third is, by far, the best game in the franchise. In fact, I would go so far as to say that it was the best game released in 2011. Sorry, Skyrim.

But what about the Remaster? In 2020, we’ve already seen one of the most beloved games of all time get an absolutely dreadful remake in Warcraft 3: Remastered. We’ve also seen how great remasters can be in this generation with games like Bluepoint’s Shadow of the Colossus. Where does Saints Row: The Third Remastered fall in that line graph of garbage to genuinely great?

The short answer is, somewhere in the middle. Make no mistake, Saints Row: The Third is still a great game. If you’re talking fun per minute in open-world games, SR3 is one of the best. The missions are bonkers, the open-world activities are generally awesome, and the characters are just such loveable assholes. Even that doofus Pierce.

This is a game that goes from gigantic gang warfare to singing a duet of “What I Got” by Sublime to murderous wrestling matches to a full-scale zombie invasion without batting an eye. It’s ridiculous excess at its absolute best. There just aren’t many other games that embrace fun in the same way SR3 does, and even in 2020, I couldn’t put it down.

That being said, most of that is just what was present in the original game. And, even though it’s a good time, much of it feels dated. For example, there’s no fast travel, which quickly becomes a pain when you’re trying to mop up activities and collectibles. The combat was fine at launch, but time has not been kind. I would still call it serviceable at worst, but if you’re looking for a cutting-edge third-person shooter, this ain’t it. Weirdly, I still find the driving pretty fun for a non-driving game. It’s not replacing Forza anytime soon, but it gets the job done.

The real problem is that the remaster seems like the most basic job you could possibly do. I’m sure the game technically looks better, but I didn’t really notice much. I also don’t remember Saints Row: The Third being this full of bugs and glitches, though maybe I’m viewing that through purple-tinted glasses. Certainly, the jank was there, but the remaster has either done nothing to fix it or made it worse. Either of which seems like a big negative given the game is almost a decade old.

“Running around Steelport with my Homies again has me more than excited for whatever Saints Row 5 ends up being.”

For the most part, these bugs weren’t game-breaking. Commonly, I would try to hop into a car or on a motorcycle, and then the vehicle would get stuck in the road. Sometimes this would result in me taking a bunch of damage. Other times, I would just have to hop off and find a new bike. That one got eaten by whatever weird cement god was plaguing my gameplay. There were also some odd lighting glitches in places, and don’t even try to fly at night. You literally can’t see anything except for vague outlines of buildings with the draw distance being so low.

Again, did any of these truly harm my playing experience? Not really. It’s annoying, sure. And I could easily see it upsetting others way more than me. However, outside of one hard crash, the bugs felt like an extra helping of Bethesda open-world jank thrown into my Saints Row game.

At the end of the day, I would only really recommend the SR3 remaster if you didn’t play the original. I just don’t think the additions are worth sullying your memories with a less than stellar remaster. Don’t get me wrong, the core Saints Row experience is very much still a Saints’ Flow-soaked treat. It’s just a treat that was perhaps better left as a memory if this was all they wanted to do with it.

The big positive, at least for me, is that running around Steelport with my Homies again has me more than excited for whatever Saints Row 5 ends up being. They lost the plot a bit with Saints Row 4, but I’m hopeful that, much like the great Han Seoul-Oh, SR5 can rise from the ashes as something greater.

May 21, 2020 10:01 AM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/05/the-third-remastered-review-all-about-family/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-third-remastered-review-all-about-family

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obtusemedia · 5 years ago

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In Ascending Order: Top 50 Songs of the ‘90s

The ‘90s have become sort of an idyllic period that many Millennials and Gen Xers look fondly upon. It makes sense — the economy was good, Seinfeld ruled televisions, we weren’t worried about either the USSR or North Korea nuking us — but if there’s one thing that has really kept the ‘90s beloved, it’s the music.

There’s something for everyone at the end of the 20th Century, from grunge to gangsta rap to boy bands to Britpop. The ‘90s featured rock’s final years of pop relevance, as well as the blossoming of its underground movements. Hip-hop became a massive cultural force. And although pop wasn’t as strong as it was in the ‘80s, it did have a nice bounce-back period near Y2K.

Capturing the essence of the wildly-divergent ‘90s in just 50 songs is difficult, but I took a swing at it anyways. Let’s dive in:

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

> “Even Flow” by Pearl Jam (1992): Since I’m a Puget Sound native, I should love Pearl Jam more than I do. But sorry, I’ve never been able to muster too much love for the iconic grunge act. That said, “Even Flow” has a great, energetic groove that goes nicely with Eddie Vedder’s bellow.

> “Not If You Were the Last Junkie On Earth” by the Dandy Warhols (1997): By 1997, Nevermind seemed like a century away, as bright-and-shiny pop tunes took over from Alt Nation. So how did indie rock respond? By making a snarktastic, uber-catchy power pop jam about how “heroin was so passé,” complete with a music video featuring dancing syringes. The ‘90s were wild, guys.

> “Crash Into Me” by Dave Matthews Band (1996): If Greta Gerwig gets to admit that this song is actually good despite the oddly skeevy lyrics at times, then so do I. Just forget about the time they dumped 800 pounds of poop in the Chicago River and let Dave’s froggy voice whisk you away.

> “Metal Detektor” by Spoon (1998): America’s most consistent indie rock band wouldn’t reach their heights until the early 2000′s, but “Metal Detektor” is a solid lo-fi preview of the groovy, nervy tunes to come.

> “All Star” by Smash Mouth (1999): Forget the memes and Shrek and remember that this song is iconic for a reason. Did it age badly? Absolutely. But that’s part of its dorky, wonderful charm. And like every young Millennial, I know every word by heart. HEY NOW

#50: “Inbetweener” by Sleeper (1995)

One thing I love about Britpop is its fondness for character vignettes. Pulp were masters of this, and Blur occasionally dipped their toes in that pool, but even the B-listers knew how to nail a depressed-suburbanite character study.

“Inbetweener” tells the story of a married couple who settled for each other. They weren’t each others’ first-choices, they were just supposed to be “inbetweeners.” By the time they’ve settled into adulthood, their lives have descended into complete boredom, but they’re also too lazy to change anything. It’s the black hole of mediocrity.

Sleeper does a stellar job making the story pop, with a sunny sound to balance out lead singer Louise Wener’s deadpan vocals. In a way, it’s a bit ironic that a pop-rock song with a chorus this anthemic would be about the most boring lives imaginable, but I imagine that was sort-of the point.

#49: “When I Come Around” by Green Day (1994)

Bay Area legends Green Day went 100 percent into the pop side of pop-punk with the infamous graduation anthem “Good Riddance.” But I’ll always prefer their earlier, snottier side, which balanced the two genres perfectly.

“When I Come Around” is a song so maddeningly catchy that it doesn’t even matter that drummer Tre Cool utterly fails to stay on beat, occasionally slowing down and speeding up. Thank god for Billie Joe Armstrong’s timeless melody and crunchy guitar tone, both of which keep this song afloat, along with a solid slap-bass.

Honestly, the amateur vibe of “When I Come Around” is endearing nearly 25 years later, when most mainstream rock feels aggressively focus-grouped. Even Green Day would become much more polished later on (not that this was always bad), so it’s nice to see the youthful energy and passion on display.

#48: “Jesus Freak” by DC Talk (1995)

There were many subgenres that peaked in the ‘90s that I’ve already mentioned, but there’s one more movement that had its prime years in this era: Christian rock.

...wait, wait, don’t click away yet! I’m not trying to proselytize here — some ‘90s Christian music could pass as the real deal. A few, like Jars of Clay, even notched a mainstream hit. But no Christian rock band was bigger among the youth-group set than DC Talk, who never really crossed over to secular audiences. And their signature song, “Jesus Freak,” is absolutely ridiculous — and that’s what makes it great.

Christian music in the ‘10s is mostly bland and focus-grouped to death. If you can tell one Hillsong or Lauren Daigle tune apart from the next, you have better ears than I. But “Jesus Freak” was a strange beast. Instead of joy or thankfulness, its primary emotions are defiance and rage. They even worked with the same music video director as Nine Inch Nails! Amy Grant would never. (although she certainly had her mainstream pop sellout moment in the ‘90s)

Does “Jesus Freak” have some embarrassing lyrics about John The Baptist’s belly? Of course. Does it blatantly rip off “Smells Like Teen Spirit?" Definitely. But, most importantly — is it a banger? HELL (err...heaven) YEAH.

#47: “Vapour Trail” by Ride (1990)

Shoegaze is definitely a sound that I respect more than I actually like. Personally (as you’ll see later on this list), I prefer its more structured, catchier cousin, dream pop.

But Ride managed to find the sweet spot between My Bloody Valentine and top-40 with their sweetly melancholy “Vapour Trail.” It definitely has all the hallmarks of shoegaze — it’s very spaced-out, the lyrics are both romantic and depressing, and there’s a definite wall-of-sound feel to it — but there’s also an actual hook. Thanks to its jangly guitars and orchestral coda, it almost feels like The Smiths’ take on the subgenre.

#46: “Enter Sandman” by Metallica (1991)

Why yes, I am that loser that’s never been able to get into metal, yet loves the simpler pleasures of “Enter Sandman.” What can I say — it’s a total jam and the hooks are plentiful.

It’s honestly kind of hilarious that this song became a massive success right as R.E.M. and Nirvana were rapidly shifting what popular rock sounded like, because “Enter Sandman” leans much heavier towards cheesy, over-the-top hair metal than grunge. I can’t get enough of James Hetfield hamming it up on the mic, literally cackling like a Disney villain at a few points.

For me, the corniness is part of the fun here, along with the raw energy that the band brings to the song. “Enter Sandman” let the masses headbang along with the metalheads, and for that, I’m grateful.

#45: “...Baby One More Time” by Britney Spears (1998)

Here’s proof of how massive Britney Spears’ debut single was: I was in preschool when it was released, and I knew it just as well as the Sesame Street or Arthur theme songs at the time. “...Baby One More Time” was a staple of Radio Disney, which was my main exposure to non-Christian music before elementary school (that, and Thriller, of course). Those opening piano stabs were etched into my brain from a very early age.

There’s a good reason it’s stuck with me: Britney’s breakthrough smash is a pop classic. “...Baby One More Time” captures the passion of a teenage crush better than almost any song from its era. And Max Martin’s crystal-clear, melodramatic production is untouchable. Frankly, it might still be Britney’s best song, over 20 years later.

#44: “Animal Nitrate” by Suede (1993)

One of the first major Britpop anthems, “Animal Nitrate” is a swaggering, cocky ode to the UK’s finest glam rock. Marc Bolan would’ve killed to write something this seedy and catchy.

In a way, it serves as sort of the mid-point between Blur and Pulp’s winking snark and Oasis’ hard-charging stadium-fillers. Just add a nice dose of sleaze. Suede weren’t able to keep up the momentum from their landmark debut, but at least they have classic singles like “Animal Nitrate” that cemented their legacy as pioneers.

#43: “Born Slippy .NUXX” by Underworld (1996)

I’m not normally a fan of super-long electronic songs. In fact, this will be the only representative of electronica — a fairly popular scene in the late ‘90s — to show up on this list.

But “Born Slippy” is special. First off, to be completely honest with y’all: I’m a bit biased, since the track was famously featured in Trainspotting, one of my favorite ‘90s movies. So it was always going to have positive connotations for me. Beyond that, “Born Slippy,” more than any other classic electronica song of its time, is bonkers. After a long, atmospheric intro, it’s essentially five and a half minutes of rambling, drunken chaos over a thudding drum beat (with one little break in the middle).

It’s both minimalist (a good chunk of the song is just a drum machine and chanting) and maximalist (IT’S SO LOUD). “Born Slippy” is the audio equivalent of losing your mind, and I love every second of it.

#42: “Groove Is In The Heart” by Deee-Lite ft. Q-Tip (1990)

And here’s a dance song with the complete opposite vibe! While Underworld turned their thumping beats into cold, confusing chaos, Deee-Lite only has one mission with their classic one-hit-wonder: to soundtrack the greatest party of all time.

“Groove” just about succeeds in that goal, too. The bassline and clattering percussion are untouchable, the lyrics are pure nonsense in the best way (more dance songs should throw in Dr. Seuss references), and the group even snagged funk legend Bootsy Collins to throw in some random ad-libs here and there.

Q-Tip, a budding legend in his own right, contributes a nice verse, but the real draw here is Deee-Lite’s aggressive quirkiness. Where else will you find a dancefloor filler that includes slide-whistle solos?

#41: “This Is How We Do It” by Montell Jordan (1995)

New Jack Swing — the subgenre that mixed R&B smoothness with hip-hop beats and attitude — might have peaked in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s, but its best track came way after its pinnacle.

“This Is How We Do It” will always be an effective crowdpleaser. Somehow, Montell Jordan found a way to balance street smarts with a squeaky-clean jam perfect for a Bar Mitzvah. He essentially perfected Will Smith’s formula, but Jordan had an extra advantage: his golden vocals. Yeah, his rapping is a bit corny, but you can’t deny that voice.

The ‘90s had plenty of gangsta-lite party jams like “This Is How We Do It,” but thanks to Jordan’s charisma and a deathless chorus, this one stands above the rest.

#40: “Movin’ On Up” by Primal Scream (1991)

If you’re going to rip off the Rolling Stones’ “You Can’t Always Get What You Want,” you might as well go for the jugular and only steal its massive ending.

“Movin’ On Up” is absolutely shameless in that regard, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t effective anyways. This gospel/classic-rock pastiche is four minutes of straight euphoria: Uplifting lyrics! Jazzy piano! Soaring guitar solos! And of course, a gospel choir so powerful that their voices break through the noise like the Kool-Aid Man.

Primal Scream were smart enough to let the choir take over the second half of the song, just letting the vaguely-religious vibes ride itself out. Because of this brilliant decision, “Movin’ On Up” is somehow more danceable than the rest of its album, the acid-house landmark Screamadelica.

#39: “Just A Girl” by No Doubt (1995)

Riot grrrl, an aggressively feminist brand of indie rock, was an important ‘90s subgenre, but rarely a commercially successful one. Still, there were some acts that polished up that style of angst and packaged into something different yet still great, and one of them was No Doubt.

Although Gwen Stefani might be more well-known to most millennials for teaching us all how to spell bananas, her best song might still be “Just A Girl.” It’s a pretty simple concept — woman is righteously upset by how society coddles her because of her gender — but Stefani sells with her flexible vocals and loads of personality. She shifts from an exaggerated Betty Boop pastiche to a Californian alt-rock wail within seconds.

The rest of No Doubt are able to keep pace with their frontwoman, bouncing back and forth between the springy verses and mosh-friendly, speedy choruses. It’s a good fit for Stefani’s manic energy, and a nice burst of bright energy to bring a close to a dreary era of rock.

#38: “Ruff Ryders’ Anthem” by DMX (1998)

Forget shiny suits: If I’m listening to late ‘90s hip-hop, I’ll take the rawer pleasures of DMX every day of the week.

On his breakout hit “Ruff Ryders’ Anthem,” DMX began to hone his now-legendary untamed style, although it’s a bit more subtle than how he would sound a few years later. It’s not quite as bombastic, but in some ways, that makes this feel a little more like the real X. It literally sounds like a mobster making threats, and it just happens to rhyme and be over a killer beat.

There’s all the ridiculous lyrics you’d expect from DMX here — highlights include the wonderfully emo couplet “All I know is pain/all I feel is rain” and a coda that’s simply a machine gun firing and X yelling “TALK IS CHEAP, MOTHERFUCKER!!!” But for the most part, it’s proto-DMX, and it’s interesting to see a larger-than-life figure somewhat grounded.

#37: “Friday I’m In Love” by The Cure (1992)

The first couple years of the ‘90s are flooded with awkward ‘80s leftovers, but one wonderful (and very ‘80s) song that snuck into the next decade is “Friday I’m In Love,” The Cure’s final hit.

It’s shocking that something this bouncy, simple and optimistic came out the same year Nirvana and Pearl Jam dominated the airwaves, but great music can succeed at any time. Robert Smith’s nursery-rhyme melodies and lyrics are so simple that it’s shocking that this song wasn’t actually written ages beforehand.

And it’s refreshing to hear a band famous for getting angsty pull out a happy-go-lucky love song tailor-made for romantic comedies. At some point, Smith had to write an upbeat song, right?

#36: “Everlong” by Foo Fighters (1997)

There’s an argument out there that “Everlong,” written by Foo Fighters frontman and former Nirvana drummer Dave Grohl, is better than any Nirvana song. I cannot remotely agree (spoiler: Nirvana places much higher on this list), but I can understand why “Everlong” has such a strong reputation.

Easily the best Foo Fighters song, “Everlong” is everything you’d want in a radio-friendly alt-rock single. It’s catchy, but still has some legitimate grit and bite. Propulsive and anthemic, yet still angsty and relatable. Grohl somehow took a grimy post-grunge banger, added romantic lyrics, and made it work. I certainly can’t imagine Bush or Everclear pulling that off.

#35: “Wannabe” by Spice Girls (1996)

In less than three minutes, five British women kicked down the doors of alt-rock and birthed the late-’90s bubblegum pop boom with one song. And what a glorious burst of energy that song is.

"Wannabe” might be the most purely fun song on this entire list. From the springy piano beat to each of the five girls showing off their bold, feisty attitudes (except for Posh Spice...sorry, Victoria), to Scary and Ginger Spices’ cheeky rap breakdown at the end, it’s impossible not to like. The song is a bit repetitive, yes, but when you have nuclear-grade weapon hooks like these, you might as well use them. ZIGAZIGAHHH

#34: “Fake Plastic Trees” by Radiohead (1995)

And now to the exact opposite side of British music!

Not to be that annoying contrarian, but I’ve never been able to get into Radiohead. A lot of their music is too cerebral for my tastes — I don’t mind thoughtful lyrics or experimentation, but I need a hook or a groove to grab onto.

Still, I do have a fond spot for their early years. And “Fake Plastic Trees,” my favorite song of theirs, is the perfect midpoint between grunge angst and sweeping Britpop balladry.

The lyrics are abstract, yet Thom Yorke’s yearning, cracked vocals convey more than any words could’ve. Like one of my favorite modern acts, Japanese Breakfast, his voice acts simply as another instrument to convey the heartbreak. Match that with a slow-burn power ballad fit for a rom-com credit roll, and you’ve got an instant classic. It’s really too bad Radiohead got bored with this sound...

#33: “It Was A Good Day” by Ice Cube (1992)

Ice Cube is not normally a happy guy in his classic songs. Whether he’s pissed at the cops or his former bandmates, he’s usually in a bad mood for some reason. But for his most beloved track, Cube imagines what a day with no problems would be like, and it’s sublime.

He nabs a triple double on the court without trying. He gets to bang a chick he’s been trying to have sex with since high school. He seemingly wins every game of bones and craps he plays. And most importantly, the police and gangs didn’t hassle him.

Many gangsta rap songs are about turmoil and chaos, but “It Was A Good Day” shows that even the toughest thugs just wanted some peace and to have a good time.

(although if it was a really good day, the Supersonics would’ve beaten the Lakers...)

#32: “Hunger Strike” by Temple of the Dog (1991)

This song is so Seattle that the CD single probably came with a complimentary damp flannel, a Dick’s deluxe, and coffee stains.

It’s a bit surprising to me that there hasn’t ben any Seattle artists on the list proper yet, seeing as the city was the epicenter of ‘90s culture. Obviously, grunge played a role, but this was also the decade when Starbucks, Microsoft and Amazon blew up; the decade when the Sonics and Mariners had superstars like Gary Payton and Ken Griffey, Jr. (the Seahawks had to wait another decade to hit their stride); the decade where the Emerald City’s reputation changed from South Alaska to one of America’s iconic locales.

And before Nirvana and Pearl Jam took led that charge, “Hunger Strike” was the first grunge breakthrough, and for good reason. In a way, it’s sort of the Watch The Throne of grunge, with Chris Cornell and Eddie Vedder exchanging vocals. The chorus, when Vedder sings the hook while Cornell bellows “I’M GOING HUNGRAAAAAAAAAAAY” like a madman, gives me goosebumps every time.

Honestly, I like this lighter-waving ballad more than any of Pearl Jam or Soundgarden’s actual songs. Not sure why this connects with me more — perhaps it’s the four minutes of raw emotion and wailing vocals over gorgeous harmonizing guitars. Vedder and Cornell work shockingly well together, too. I wish the duo made more music.

#31: “Connection” by Elastica (1994)

There is no Britpop song that’s cooler than “Connection.” While most of the subgenre is all about wink-wink cleverness or gigantic classic-rock riffs, Elastica dispenses with both of those for Justine Frischmann’s snarling attitude.

Elastica kept things very simple on their most iconic single. There’s a rudimentary guitar riff (which yes, they stole from Wire, but who cares), a steady beat, and Frischmann rolling her eyes over the whole thing. “Connection” is not a song that needs a lot of explaining: one listen, and you’ll instantly understand why even American teens couldn’t resist the snark.

#30: “Alison” by Slowdive (1993)

Slowdive’s masterpiece, Souvlaki, might have been a bit late to the shoegaze party by 1993, but it and its iconic leadoff track, “Alison,” have stood tall over the movement regardless.

My favorite shoegaze song, “Alison” is a hazy soup of distorted guitars, hypnotic drums and hopelessly romantic lyrics about a druggy (and possibly imaginary?) relationship. About half of the lines are about drugs and confusion, and lead singer Neil Halstead describes the titular woman as his anchor through the chaos of life. It’s a slow-dance made for a goth prom, and it lingers in your brain long after it’s over.

#29: “Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix-a-Lot (1992)

“Baby Got Back” has unfortunately become sort of a punchline by this point. Not because it’s a clunker —I think most people seem to love it as much as I do — but because of its constant feature in kids’ movies (I first heard it in Shark Tale as a child...the early ‘00s were a strange time) and the fact that the song has been boiled down to just a few lines.

“I like big butts and I cannot lie.” “Oh. My. Gawd. Becky, look at her butt.” “My anaconda don’t want none unless you’ve got buns, hon.” Those moments define “Baby Got Back” more than anything else.

Which is a shame, because it’s a masterpiece of trashy fun. Seattle icon Sir-Mix-a-Lot somehow found out how to make solid punchlines about booty for four minutes — you try coming up with that many iconic moments in a short timespan! And the dizzying production, with its sharp horn bursts and super-tight bassline, is no joke.

"Baby Got Back” might be a goofy novelty track, but there’s actual effort put in. It’s a formula more artists should strive for.

#28: “California Love” by 2Pac feat. Dr. Dre and Roger Troutman (1995)

Yes, this is the cliché 2Pac choice. But “California Love” is difficult to resist.

Backed by a rowdy Dre beat (and a great opening verse from the Dr. as well), Pac’s comeback single after being released from prison is truly timeless. You go to any L.A. party or sporting event and it’ll inevitably be played (partly because it’s strangely clean for a gangsta rap anthem). And 2Pac is game to shout out the entire state — he even gives Sacramento props over 20 years before Lady Bird!

Pac has some deeper, more introspective songs than “California Love.” But sometimes, the basic pick is the right one.

#27: “Summer Babe (Winter Version)” by Pavement (1992)

Pavement has always been the cool kids’ ‘90s band. While the massive alt-rock acts put their raw, bleeding-heart emotions on display, Pavement kept things sardonic and snarky. They were willing to poke fun at The Smashing Pumpkins. They’re essentially the Jim Halpert of rock — kind of lazy and self-removed, but with too much charisma to ignore.

Yet, for all their snarky bonafides, my favorite song of theirs is one of their more emotional. “Summer Babe” still features Stephen Malkmus’ famously flat, dry vocals, but the song has some real heft to it regardless. The deep-fried guitar shredding its way though the track and the noisy drums work well amongst the sloppy-but-charming sound. It’s meandering, but when Malkmus puts some juice in his vocals for the final minute, it still strikes a chord.

#26: “Deceptacon” by Le Tigre (1999)

By the late ‘90s, punk icon Kathleen Hanna had already moved on from her massively influential riot grrrl band, Bikini Kill. Distorted guitars were so 1992. What was next? ‘80s nostalgia, of course!

“Deceptacon,” by Hanna’s other famous band, Le Tigre, is a sizzling slice of new wave perfection. With its proudly-analog synth stabs and dance beat, the song perfected the indie-band-goes-disco formula 10 years before everyone else tried it. Seriously, this sounds way more like 2009 than 1999, and it’s shocking that its somehow from the 20th Century.

But “Deceptacon” isn’t purely a Duran Duran tribute — there’s still that same fury that Hanna was famous for. Her raw vocals make for a strange, yet captivating combination with the poppy beat. It’s a punk song you could dance to, just like the Ramones always wanted!

#25: “Fantasy (Bad Boy Remix)” by Mariah Carey feat. Ol’ Dirty Bastard and Puff Daddy (1995)

There might not have been any ‘90s popstar bigger than Mariah Carey. She racked up 14 number-one hits, including “One Sweet Day,” a monster R&B collaboration with Boys II Men that is still tied for the longest stay at the top of the charts (if only it was a better song).

However, she’s never been my favorite — overwrought R&B ballads really aren’t my thing. But she did release one single that I unabashedly love, and that’s partly due to an assist from one of hip-hop’s weirdest stars.

I’m still not sure why the powers that be felt that Carey, a super-polished pop balladeer, and Ol’ Dirty Bastard, a rapper who sounded and acted like a homeless man on bath salts, was a good combo. But it worked beautifully! ODB’s weirdo charm proved to be a nice balance to Carey’s more sanitized sound. And the pop structure reigned in ODB just enough — although that didn’t stop him from spending the first 45 seconds just shouting out random places (“JAPAN ARE YOU IN THE HOUSE?!?”) and later quoting Donny and Marie Osmond. The man was a maniac.

But arguably what makes the song work better than either artist’s contribution is that sparkling production. The remix of “Fantasy,” helmed by Bad Boy mastermind Puff Daddy, strips back the original song’s heavier sampling of the ‘80s classic “Genius of Love” to just the groovy bassline for most of the song, letting the synth burbles wait until the chorus to pop. The result is one of the few truly great American pop songs of the mid ‘90s.

#24: “Blue Jeans” by Blur (1993)

Despite their relatively low placement on this list, Blur are my absolute favorite band of the ‘90s. They helped create one of its prominent movements, Britpop, with their 1992 single “Popscene,” and went on to dominate the subgenre. And when they got bored with that sound five years later, Blur proved they could do angsty, distorted alt-rock just as well as the Americans. (And five years after that, lead singer Damon Albarn started a fun little side project — you might have heard of them.)

But my favorite song of theirs doesn’t really fit into either Blur’s eras. Technically, “Blue Jeans” was released on their first Britpop album, Modern Life is Rubbish, but it doesn’t really have the same witty, uber-English vibe as their hit singles from that time. Instead, it’s a low-key, almost dream-pop song that’s simply about being content in a relationship.

Sounds a bit boring, until you actually listen to the track — Albarn’s melody here is stunningly beautiful, yet down-to-earth, and the quaint music backing him matches the vibe of the song exactly. And his lyrics nail the early stages of love — “I don’t really wanna change a thing/I wanna stay this way forever.” There’s few songs that capture the simple joys of a romance like “Blue Jeans,” particularly in the honeymoon period.

#23: “Forgot About Dre” by Dr. Dre feat. Eminem (1999)

The defining sound of West Coast hip-hop — the squealing synths and trunk-rattling bass of G-Funk — was mastered by one man in the early ‘90s. Dr. Dre’s The Chronic was a landmark for the genre in 1992, and his iconic style can be heard from MCs throughout most of the decade.

But by 1999, things had changed. The biggest names in hip-hop sounded nothing like Dre’s signature sound, from Puff Daddy’s sample-heavy pop-rap to the chaotic Southern twang coming from No Limit Records. Dre was seen as a has-been, a relic.

However, “Forgot About Dre” ended Dre’s slump that year. The funky Chronic beats were supplanted by a sharper-edged, metallic production over which Dre publicly shamed the world for ignoring him and his legacy. It’s a ballsy move to already anoint yourself as a legend just 11 years after you burst onto the scene, but with Dre’s track record, he could afford to do so. And although he’s not the greatest rapper technically, he spits with enough force and charisma to sell his snarling lines.

Dre also had a partner to give him a boost: the then-newbie Eminem. A lot of Em’s big 2000′s hits have aged badly in my opinion — the production is awkward and there’s too much homophobia — but he sounds sharp as hell on “Forgot About Dre.” His verse is arguably the song’s highlight, as he unleashes a rapid-fire, charmingly random verse with endlessly quotable lines.

“Forgot About Dre” cemented Dre’s status as a titan of the industry who could seemlessly create new trends and stay afloat through multiple decades. And with it being one of Eminem’s breakout moments, it also proved Dre could be a kingmaker.

#22: “You Oughta Know” by Alanis Morissette (1995)

The ‘90s were the decade of angst. So what better climate was there to release a scathing takedown of an ex, who may or may not be one of the dudes from Full House?

Okay, so it’s never been confirmed that “You Oughta Know” is actually about Dave Coulier. But that doesn’t lessen its rage and impact. Morissette is seething with rage about this breakup, writing all-time classic lines like “Does she know how you told you’d hold me until you die/’Til you die, BUT YOU’RE STILL ALIVE” and of course, “Are you thinking of me when you fuck her?!”

Morissette perfectly uses the era’s classic quiet-loud dynamic shifts to her advantage, creepily whispering at the start of the verses, and slowly growing louder and angrier until she’s screaming her lungs out by the chorus. Her ragged, off-kilter vocals perfectly capture the blinding emotion she feels. It’s a karaoke staple for those who’ve just been dumped for a good reason.

#21: “Big Pimpin’” by Jay-Z feat. UGK (1999)

That Timbaland beat. Dear lord. How can it sound so good against three radically different flows?! The man is truly a genius.

Yeah, Hov and Bun B and Pimp C all deliver here too, but let’s not pretend that beat isn’t the reason why this is a top-shelf Jay-Z single.

#20: “Larger Than Life” by Backstreet Boys (1999)

Yeah, it’s better than “I Want It That Way.” Not by a lot — they’re both perfect — but I’ve always preferred upbeat boy band songs to ballads.

“Larger Than Life” was named accurately. From the second the thumping beat kicks in, the song is a stadium-filling anthem, the kind arena-rock bands would’ve written a decade prior. Does it have a chorus that’s easy to scream along to at concerts? Check. Does it have a beat you can awkwardly groove to? Check. Does it have a bad-ass guitar solo thrown in? Shockingly, yeah.

Boy bands were the true rockstars of the late-’90s (apologies to, uh, Matchbox 20?), so it would only make sense to have one of them create a bonafide rock anthem. And when you match the Backstreet Boys’ sugary hooks with a roaring atmosphere worthy of Def Leppard, you’ve got a classic on your hands.

#19: “The Fly” by U2 (1991)

‘90s U2 is the best U2. I love Joshua Tree and Unforgettable Fire as much as the next guy, but I’ll take their weirdo, aggressively-ironic decade over their more earnest years any day.

Perhaps no song encapsulates U2′s ‘90s ethos better than “The Fly.” It’s got a slinky, nocturnal feel to the music, with The Edge’s guitar distorted slicing through like a machete. The swirling, tripped-out guitar solo here might be his greatest ever.

But like many U2 songs, “The Fly” belongs to Bono. In it, he plays the titular sleazebag from hell (literally — the song is about a crank call from down there), whispering sweet nothings into the listener’s ear. Do the lyrics actually mean anything? Honestly, I’m still not sure, but they still somehow sound transgressive and witty, if a bit corny. But you’ve got to expect a little corn when U2 is involved. And when Bono duets with himself on the sublime chorus, both as The Fly and in a piercing operatic falsetto, it’s one of the best hooks of the band’s career.

“The Fly” was the world’s introduction to the new U2 in 1991, and although it might have shocked people expecting another “With Or Without You,” it’s aged beautifully over 25 years later.

#18: “Heaven Or Las Vegas” by Cocteau Twins (1990)

Cocteau Twins are usually held up as dream pop’s forefathers, helping create a distinct, hazy sound that would inspire future artists from The Cranberries to Beach House to Washed Out. One listen to “Heaven Or Las Vegas” proves why the Scottish trio was such an inspiration.

“Heaven Or Las Vegas,” the title track to Cocteau Twins’ flawless 1990 album, is one of the most immaculate, gorgeous songs of the decade. Invoking both heaven and Las Vegas was accurate: the track is graceful, yet also drenched in neon synths and glitz. It perfectly toes the line between holiness and kitsch.

And here’s where I admit that, like most people, I can’t make out 90 percent of what vocalist Elizabeth Fraser is singing. Beyond belting out the title of the song in the chorus, the rest sounds like French, or speaking in tongues. Regardless, her ethereal alto is a perfect compliment to the swirling keyboards and gauzy guitars floating around her in space.

#17: “All The Small Things” by Blink-182 (1999)

In the classic video for “All The Small Things,” Blink-182 spends the entire runtime clowning on the TRL-era boy bands of the time. Here’s the ironic thing about that video: “All The Small Things” is secretly the greatest boy band song of the ‘90s (yes, that means *NSYNC didn’t make the list...their best songs came out in the early aughts, sorry).

Blink-182 are technically a pop-punk band, not a boy band, but you wouldn’t really know that from their most iconic, and best, hit. “All The Small Things” is direct, punchy and has a monster sing-along chorus. Sure, Tom DeLonge’s nasal whine isn’t a typical teen heartthrob voice, but young Justin Timberlake had an unusual voice too (“IT’S GONNA BAY MAAAAE”).

The fact that “All The Small Things” is basically a bubblegum Trojan horse for Hot Topic kids is exactly what makes it so great. Chugging guitars can peacefully coexist with a TRL-ready melody and surprisingly romantic (if simple) lyrics.

#16: “Gin & Juice” by Snoop Doggy Dogg (1993)

Nowadays, Snoop Dogg is probably more known for his intense love of weed, unwillingness to turn down collaborations, and friendship with Martha Stewart more than any new music. But Snoop’s earned the right to ease into being a hip-hop elder statesman, thanks to his landmark album Doggystyle and its standout single, “Gin & Juice.”

The young Snoop (only 22 at the time!!) had already nailed down his trademark, chilled-out drawl by 1993. He uses it to great effect on “Gin & Juice,” describing a wild house party filled with sex, drugs and alcohol like it’s just another regular day at the office. You can practically hear his knowing smile in the verses, and the chorus sung by D-Ruff is infectious as hell.

Of course, major credit has to be given to Dr. Dre’s G-funk production. It’s my favorite beat of his from this era, and its dog-whistle synths and shuffling beat perfectly fit the early-’90s California party vibe.

#15: “Semi-Charmed Life” by Third Eye Blind (1997)

This is probably the only song in history to take heavy lyrical influence from the Doug theme song and simultaneously be about crystal meth.

It shouldn’t be hard to explain why “Semi-Charmed Life” is a classic, right? It turned an insanely bleak topic into one of the sunniest, most propulsive jams of all time. The rap-singing in the verses is a blast to keep up with, and that falsetto “goodBYYYYYYYE” in the chorus is the ‘90s equivalent of the high note in “Take On Me”: often-attempted in karaoke, with a very low success rate.

The late ‘90s had no shortage of great, weird pop jams, and “Semi-Charmed Life” is near the top of the pile.

#14: “Say It Ain’t So” by Weezer (1994)

My favorite ‘90s album will always be Blur’s Parklife. But my second choice would probably be Weezer’s self-titled “Blue Album,” a nerdy power-pop masterpiece. It’s an angstier mirror of The Cars’ 1976 debut, also self-titled; appropriate, seeing as Cars frontman Rik Ocasek produced Weezer’s first album.

The record’s centerpiece is the heartbreaking “Say It Ain’t So,” a perfect power ballad. The band nails the quiet/loud/quiet dynamic shifts from the mumbling verses to the supercharged chorus. There, Rivers Cuomo scratches his vocals, displaying his emotional wounds after alcoholism tore apart his family.

For a band known for very silly songs like “Buddy Holly” and “Beverly Hills,” the passionate bridge, where Cuomo first wails away vocally before making his guitar do the same in a fiery solo, is truly heartbreaking. “Say It Ain’t So” proved that California dorks could pull off sadness just as well as the flannel-wearing Seattleites, if not better.

#13: “My Heart Will Go On” by Céline Dion (1997)

Earlier this year, Avengers: Endgame moved past Titanic on the all-time box office charts. As much as I enjoyed Endgame, this feels wrong. Sure, Marvel is a big deal, but was Endgame as much of a phenomenon as Titanic? No. Frankly, it’s not even a top-5 Marvel movie (although it is better than Avatar, which Endgame could pass soon for first place).

Why has Titanic cemented itself in pop culture history? Part of that is because the movie is a stone-cold classic, featuring a frothy romance between two of a generation’s greatest actors that ends in unspeakable tragedy and heartbreak. But I believe there’s another aspect to the film that’s helped keep its legacy strong: its unsinkable theme song.

“My Heart Will Go On” is one of the greatest movie themes of all time, precisely because it mirrors its movie. Like Titanic, Céline Dion’s signature song starts as a tender, soft romance, before bursting into a dizzying climax that pummels the audience into submission, forcing tears.

I don’t think I need to emphasize that Dion is a fantastic singer — there are very few singers that could nail both the cooing opening and the Whitney Houston-esque belting at the final chorus. But “My Heart Will Go On” is still occasionally considered a punchline, and that’s just wrong. Any song with this much emotional heft and force cannot be taken lightly.

#12: “What’s The Frequency, Kenneth?” by R.E.M. (1994)

Two of Gen X’s longest-lasting and most important acts, U2 and R.E.M., switched roles in the ‘90s. U2 shifted their image from overly-earnest arena-rockers to weirdos dabbling in underground sounds. Meanwhile, their American counterparts went from mumbling college rock jams to radio-friendly ballads.

Not to be a total snob, but I’ve always preferred R.E.M.’s jangly ‘80s sound over their blockbuster early ‘90s albums. But the lead single off their underrated 1994 record Monster might be my favorite song of theirs.

“What’s The Frequency, Kenneth?” sounds like very few other R.E.M. songs. There’s no mandolins, and Michael Stipe’s lyrics are much clearer (although they make little sense). Instead of being bouncy and light, the guitars are a blast of crunchy distortion, not far off from a typical Smashing Pumpkins song.

In fact, Peter Buck’s guitar work here is what makes “Kenneth.” His echo-y sound adds a raw texture to the tune. And although the lyrics are a bit cryptic (apparently it’s about Boomers trying to advertise to Gen Xers? I have no clue), Stipe’s melody is on-point, as usual.

Although the sound of alt-rock had long passed by R.E.M.’s original style, “Kenneth” showed that the Georgia legends were more than able to keep up.

#11: “Steal My Sunshine” by Len (1999)

This sunburnt ode to being young and dumb in the gloriously young-and-dumb late ‘90s is the greatest summer anthem of all time. And the greatest one-hit-wonder of all time.

“Steal My Sunshine” is the soundtrack to driving with the windows down, goofing with your friends and pretty much any positive aspect of summer. Gloriously dumb and kitschy-fun summer songs like this are perfect examples of why the late-’90s was a golden age for pop.

#10: “Man! I Feel Like A Woman!” by Shania Twain (1997)

While we’re talking about that late-’90s pop boom, how crazy is it that the era’s best single is technically a country song?

Of course, “Man! I Feel Like A Woman!” is barely a country song — yes, there’s some violins and slide guitar buried in the mix, but there’s also a thundering synth riff and Twain barely has a Southern twang (makes sense, seeing as she’s Canadian). And there’s no mention of any country tropes like pickup trucks or whiskey in the lyrics.

What “Man!” does bring to the table is a tongue-in-cheek, groovy pop-rock jam that’s just as easy to love as it is to make jokes about. Sure, it’s corny as hell — see the obvious joke in the song’s title — but Twain is clearly having way too much fun to care. And in a decade filled with angst and irony, a super-cheesy pop jam like this probably seemed like a needed salvo.

And the Mutt Lange production on this has some serious oomph to it. Before his extensive work with Twain, his then-wife, Lange was arguably best known for mastering the roided-out arena rock sound of the ‘80s, assisting on classic tunes from The Cars, AC/DC and Def Leppard. He even gave us this beautifully ridiculous Billy Ocean track, which might be the greatest song ever written. Lange brings some weight to “Man!”, making Twain’s female-empowerment anthem an actual anthem.

Listen, if this song isn’t for you, I get it. But for those of us who have the prerogative to have a little fun, “Man! I Feel Like A Woman!” is the pinnacle of one of pop’s greatest eras.

#9: “Check The Rhime” by A Tribe Called Quest (1991)

A lot of ‘90s rap hasn’t aged well, even if it’s still a ton of fun. Albums from Dr. Dre and Puff Daddy and even Jay-Z can sound like time capsules. But that’s not a problem that A Tribe Called Quest has, as their smooth jazz-rap still sounds timeless and perfect.

“Check The Rhime” is the Queens group’s brightest highlight off of their 1991 magnum opus, The Low End Theory. It’s a simple setup: MCs Q-Tip and Phife Dawg introduce the other rapper by reminiscing about freestyling on street corners back in the day. Then, both Tip and Phife get their own verse, each stuffed with playful lines and life advice — Industry Rule 4080 still holds to this day.

Unlike a lot of ‘90s hip-hop that was trying desperately to either be menacing or cool, Tip and Phife ooze effortless charisma on their verses in a playful, almost childlike way. Phife starts his verse reminding everyone “how nice I am” (before proclaiming that he flips off “punk MCs”). Tip even seems to diss MC Hammer by saying “rap is not pop/if you call it that then stop,” but apparently, this was meant as a defense of the then-megastar. Maybe.

“Check The Rhime” works partially because of its funky, minimalist production, but also because the Tribe’s two rappers were born to spit non sequiturs and awkward brags over a jazz-rap beat until the end of time.

#8: “I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone” by Sleater-Kinney (1996)

I’m not sure how flamingly hot of a take this is, but I’d say Sleater-Kinney is the greatest band in Northwest history. Yes, better than Nirvana.

1997′s Dig Me Out is a flawless masterpiece, and there’s not a single dud in their eight-album discography. Unlike many of the major Washington acts from this era, the Olympia three-piece never lost relevancy, releasing some of their strongest work in the 2000′s.

But Sleater-Kinney’s best single, “I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone,” is actually from one of their early albums. And it serves as a thesis statement for the decades of great music to come.

Legendary guitarist Carrie Brownstein takes over vocals here, nailing both the sardonic verses and the thrilling, off-kilter chorus. “Joey Ramone” tackles an interesting subject: how almost all of indie rock’s heroes up to that point had been male. So when Brownstein wails about wanting to be Joey Ramone or Thurston Moore, she’s placing Sleater-Kinney in the pantheon of rock greats. And this was just their second album.

Luckily, Sleater-Kinney had the goods to back up their chutzpah, and “Joey Ramone” became prophetic.

#7: “Supersonic” by Oasis (1994)

Just a couple months after Kurt Cobain’s death, two unibrowed guys from Manchester (and the rest of their band) completely upended the rock world with their band Oasis’ debut album, Definitely Maybe. After a few years of gloom-and-doom dominating the genre, it, along with fellow hit albums from Blur and Pulp, helped usher in the brighter world of Britpop in the mid-’90s.

That album’s first single, “Supersonic,” is still the greatest thing Oasis ever produced. (Yes, it’s better than “Wonderwall.”)

“Supersonic” is a blast of rude, snotty rock-n-roll cranked up to 11. In an era of irony and sarcasm, lead singer Liam Gallagher was spouting out nonsense lyrics like they were the most important and coolest thing in the world. And for the four-and-a-half minutes of this song, they probably are.

Everything about “Supersonic” is boneheaded perfection, from the thunderous drums to the dual guitars, one crunchy, one soaring; all the way to Liam’s sneer. This is prime Oasis, the band running on all cylinders. Based on how ramshackle this sounds, it’s no wonder the band only stayed great for two albums. But at least we’ll always have that legendary start.

#6: “1979″ by The Smashing Pumpkins (1995)

On the opposite end of the cool spectrum as Oasis and Sleater-Kinney, you have Billy Corgan — singer/songwriter/control freak of The Smashing Pumpkins and alt-rock’s most weaselly, petty figure. But say what you want about him as a person, Corgan wrote some incredible alt-rock pop nuggets.

“1979″ is a major outlier in the Pumpkins’ discography. It’s not an angsty shoegaze/grunge banger or an orchestral power ballad. It’s a low-key, skeletal new-wave track that perfectly captures the boredom and aimlessness of youth.

While many songs about being a teenager capture either its euphoric highs or angsty lows, “1979″ is one of the few classic songs that nails the in-between moments. It’s the feeling of walking to the 7-Eleven with your friends, cracking jokes that you’ll probably forget the next day. It’s about sitting in a parking lot and just waiting to leave your hometown.

"1979″ isn’t a grand gesture, but in a backwards way, that makes it even more profound. And from a band who typically dealt in soaring, intensely emotional songs, it was a brilliant change-of-pace that will no-doubt be relatable to teens for a long time to come.

#5: “Rebel Girl” by Bikini Kill (1993)

Two massively important alt-rock movements came from the Puget Sound in the early ‘90s. One is grunge. The other is riot grrrl, centered around a group of furious, political women-led bands in Olympia. And although Sleater-Kinney may be the subgenre’s longest-lasting act, its brightest moment came in 1993 with Bikini Kill and their incendiary single “Rebel Girl.”

Lead singer/songwriter/punk icon Kathleen Hanna is the focal point of “Rebel Girl,” wailing away on the microphone about an unnamed woman who is just the absolute coolest. The woman is described as a confident, revolutionary lesbian figure who would serve as an inspiration for angsty teens across the globe.

And oh yeah — “Rebel Girl” absolutely shreds. It sounds like there’s maybe 18 guitars going at once on the track, and Tobi Vail’s drum work is fearsome. Just to give more rock cred to the song, it was produced and features guitar work from Joan Jett. The rock legend and Bikini Kill made a great pairing, creating a song that sounds angry, with its distorted guitars and punk drums, but is actually a triumphant feminist anthem for the ages.

#4: “Linger” by The Cranberries (1993)

In an early-’90s rock scene filled with distorted guitars and raw angst, The Cranberries broke out in 1993 with a song that sounded nothing like the crowd. And over 25 years later, their stunningly gorgeous single “Linger” has aged far better than most of the grunge and alt-rock it was surrounded by.

The Irish four-piece took inspiration from Cocteau Twins’ and Galaxie 500′s dream pop and just made the hooks even more bulletproof and melancholy. “Linger” is the kind of ballad that’s a perfect fit for a longing prom slow dance and for crying with a tub of Ben & Jerry’s on the couch after a break up.

The late Dolores O’Riordan’s lilting vocals are a miracle here, able to express both hope and resignation. Her heavy Irish accent helps the vocals become another instrument in the band’s sweeping wall of sound, alongside the jangly guitars, marching-beat drums and orchestral swells.

It’s the most beautiful song of an ugly (in a good way!) decade, and arguably the greatest dream pop song ever written. The Cranberries would later adopt the heavy guitars of their Seattle peers, but “Linger” is still a high-water mark for the subgenre.

#3: “Juicy” by The Notorious B.I.G. (1994)

The first verse alone could’ve gotten “Juicy” into this list’s top 10. It’s one of the most-memorable and quotable verses of all time, exquisitely detailing The Notorious B.I.G.’s rise to fame. And then we get two more stellar verses?!

“Juicy” is frequently cited among one of the greatest hip-hop songs of all time, and it’s deserving of that reputation. Biggie penned the definitive rags-to-riches story in just five minutes (honestly, more like four, as he and producer Puff Daddy let the beat ride for a bit at the end) and then blessed it with his silky-smooth, commanding flow.

What separates “Juicy” from other come-up anthems is the vivid detail Biggie gives us, both about his impoverished Brooklyn upbringing (“We used to fuss when the landlord dissed us/No heat, wondered why Christmas missed us”) and his stunning rise to fame (“Girls used to diss me/Now they write letters cause they miss me”). He even brags about owning a Super Nintendo AND a Sega Genesis, which was the biggest early-90′s flex possible.

Of course, knowing the tragic ending of Biggie’s story, “Juicy” has a bit of a bittersweet feeling to it now. But its ‘80′s-retro beat and infectious glee can still bring a smile to my face every time I hear it.

#2: “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana (1991)

Well, duh.

There is no song that encapsulates an entire decade and generation like “Smells Like Teen Spirit” does for the ‘90′s and Gen X. It famously changed the entire rock landscape nearly overnight from sleazy hair metal to grimy alt-rock. It’s one of the most famous and iconic songs ever written. And shockingly, it still retains all of its revolutionary power nearly 30 years later.

How does “Smells Like Teen Spirit” pull off the balancing act of being a time capsule, yet still sounding remarkably fresh? I believe it’s because it captures the raw feeling of visceral rage and confusion better than nearly any song. Most angry songs have a target, whether its racist politicians, stuffy adults, or even a crappy ex. “Teen Spirit” has no tangible reason for its angst. Kurt Cobain’s lyrics are famously nonsense. And that’s what makes the song so brilliant.

Because the song is so emotionally powerful in a visceral way, it really doesn’t matter that the lyrics are meaningless. All you need to love the song is to connect with the anger buried deep, and start moshing the moment Dave Grohl’s instantly-recognizable drum fill meets the clanging guitars. It’s a total banger.

Cobain might not have had the intent of creating a generational anthem that would last beyond Gen X. But as long as people feel “stupid and contagious” alongside a creeping rise of angst, waiting to burst, “Teen Spirit” will remain relevant.

#1: “Common People” by Pulp (1995)

For a subgenre entirely built around a particular country’s culture, most major Britpop acts surprisingly refrained from politics. Oasis never sniffed the subject, and while Blur got close, songs like “Parklife” or “Stereotypes” were more winking jokes than bold statements.

Then there’s Pulp. Their most beloved track, “Common People,” is a scathing attack on the British upper class who indulge in poverty tourism, unaware of how the other half really lives. And it’s the best song of the ‘90s.

There are few things I love more than a perfectly executed story-song, and lead singer/songwriter Jarvis Cocker gives listeners a doozy here. “Common People” is about a rich woman talking to, well, a common person, and she decides she wants the poor guy to show her how to “live like common people.” Cocker’s songwriting is very literary, going into detail about the woman’s history and her botched attempt to act poor while shopping for groceries, as well as all the lower-class problems the wealthy will never understand. As Cocker bluntly puts it, “If you call your dad/he could stop it all.”

“Common People” is just as furious as “Teen Spirit,” but Cocker has clear targets here: the one-percent, and the misguided idea that poverty is somehow cool. The song starts calmly, almost at a whisper, but by the final, heart-pounding climax, Cocker is wailing away, condemning the upper-class with gusto.

The swelling disco-rock groove channels this anger into an absurdly catchy tune — an odd combination of musical tone and lyrics, but one that’s effective. It’s a giant middle finger that you can sing along to.

Britpop might have ended, but the sentiment of “Common People” is still fresh today as a righteous anthem for the trod-upon.

#90s #rock #pop #indie #alt #hip-hop #britpop #grunge

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There's a great deal of actually fascinating stuff to learn more about the Bible beyond its core message. I'm keeping a running list of actually fascinating truths that I've learnt more about the holy bible -- feel free to comment with some that you think ought to make the list! 1. The Bible was written in three languages Those languages are Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek. Most of our Old Testament was written in Hebrew, which was the language the original readers spoke. A couple of littles the Old Testimony were written Aramaic (looking at you, Ezra and Daniel). The New Testament was written in Greek, the commonly-spoken language of the time. If you 'd like to discover how to study the holy bible in these languages yourself, check out Zondervan Academic's certificate program. *. 2. The Bible has to do with 611,00 words long. In those original languages, the Bible's word count is about 611,000. That word count is not going to line up with your Bible though, for a couple of factors:. When translating the Bible from its original languages to English, translators tend to use more words to make clear the original author's point. Different translations word passages differently, which leads to a variation in word count. But nevertheless: it's interesting to think that while the bible is longer than Moby Cock, it's nowhere near as long a read as the Harry Potter saga. You can discover more about just how long the Bible is here. 3. The longest book of the Bible is Jeremiah. This prophet had a lot to say. He even wrote in the twentieth chapter of his book:. But if I state, "I will not mention his word or speak anymore in his name," his word remains in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; certainly, I can not. (Jeremiah 20:9). Given, Jeremiah is the longest book based on how we currently organize the books of the Bible. If we did it the traditional method, the two-part book of Kings would be the longest book. (See Truth # 9!). And if we did it actually, really, truly traditional, the five-part Torah (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy) would dwarf all other contenders. This megabook alone comprises about one fifth of the entire Bible!

You can discover more about the longest books of the Bible here. 4. The fastest book of the Bible is 3 John. You can read this book in about one minute. The book right before it, 2 John, is the second-shortest book of the Bible. You can discover more about the shortest books of the Bible here. 5. The Bible was composed by more than 40 standard authors. The books of the Bible are typically credited to heroes of the Jewish and Christian faiths. Moses is provided credit for the first five books of the Bible, the majority of the prophets are given credit for the books named after them, etc . The reality is a bit messier than this, of course. Moses most likely didn't pen every word of Genesis-- Deuteronomy-- he passed away prior to a few of the occasions took place! And there's a good chance Jonah didn't compose Jonah, and Isaiah may have had some aid over the centuries, and so on and so forth. Plus, there are some books whose authors we just don't know. (See Reality # 10.). 6. The Bible was composed by people from varied occupational backgrounds. Parts of the Bible were composed by kings. Half of the Psalms, a great piece of Sayings, and Ecclesiastes appear to be penned by royalty. But other parts of the Bible are composed by farmers, fishermen, a tentmaker, homeless prophets, a doctor, a professional scribe, vocational artists, pastors, and so on 7. The books of the Old Testament are set up differently in Judaism. The English Bibles we utilize group the books of the Bible loosely by kind of literature. So in the Old Testament, you have the books of law first, then books about Israel's history in the promised land, then books of wisdom and poetry, then books by the prophets. But the Old Testament isn't always arranged by doing this. For example, in Judaism's Hebrew Bible, the books of law precede (the Torah), followed by the former and latter prophets (a mix of prophets and history), followed by "the writings" (a blend poetry, history, and prophetic books). In this arrangement, the last book is Chronicles, not Malachi. 8. There are at least 185 songs in the holy bible. About 150 of these remain in the book of Psalms. (I say "about" due to the fact that there's some dispute regarding whether a few of the different Psalms were originally meant to be sung as one.) However throughout both the Old and New Testaments, people will sing songs about God or the events around them. And 185 is a bare minimum-- that's only if you count the parts of Bible that are particularly identified as "song," "psalm," "dirge," or "chant.". You can see the list (and infographic) here. 9. Some of the "First" and "Second" books were divided after they were written. I mentioned in Fact # 3 that if the books of 1 & 2 Kings were combined, they would be the longest book of the Bible. I bring that up since 1 & 2 Kings were originally composed as one book. The same opts for 1 & 2 Samuel and 1 & 2 Chronicles. Why did these books get divided? Since in the old days, they couldn't print enormous tomes for each book of the christian bible. It was difficult to fit the very prolonged deal with one scroll-- and even if the scroll was big enough for all that content, it would be too heavy to handle. So they broke some of the longer books down into 2 volumes. So the book of 2 Samuel is really more like the book of Samuel, part two. 10. The authorship of Hebrews has actually remained anonymous for centuries. A number of books of the Old Testament were composed by people unnamed. Tradition does not identify the authors of Joshua-- Kings, Esther, or Task. Plus, much of the books with standard authors assigned to them were most likely penned and modified by other people. For instance, while Jonah is the traditional author of Jonah, there's a good case to be made that some later scribe wrote this satire of the compassionate God, the defiant prophet, and the repentant cows. The church has actually been (approximately) constant with designating authors (or at least names of authors) to books in the New Testimony. Even works that are technically confidential, like the Gospels, were so important that the early church leaders consistently appointed their authorship to either the exact same standard person or a small group of candidates. However the book of Hebrews is a glaring exception. Authorship of this book has actually been disputed for centuries. Augustine made sure Paul composed it. Luther was encouraged it was the significant Apollos. Tertulian appoints the work to Barnabas. However we simply don't know. Granted, there appears to have constantly been a big group of Christians who question Simon Peter composed 2 Peter. But pseudepigraphy is an entire other ball of wax.;--RRB-. 11. The word "Trinity" is never ever pointed out in the Bible. The majority of Christians believe that God permanently exists in three individuals: The Father, the Kid Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. And all three are described as divine in Bible-- in fact, I have actually found 20 times when the 3 of them are pointed out in the very same verse. Nevertheless, do a word search: the word "Trinity" doesn't come up. 12. The Bible was written on 3 continents. The majority of was written in what is modern-day Israel (Asia). But some passages of Jeremiah were written in Egypt (Africa) and a number of Brand-new Testament epistles were written from cities in Europe. 13. There are 21 dreams tape-recorded in the Bible. And the majority of them are had by 2 different guys named Joseph! You can see the whole list here. 14. The book of James is the bossiest book of the Bible. If you make a list of words in each book of the christian bible and then a list of commands in the exact same book, the book with the greatest concentration of words is the book of James. By definition, a pastor is one who "shepherds his flock." You understand this suggests he preaches, officiates weddings and probably has meetings in his workplace to describe some theological question; but what is the function of pastor really like? Here are 14 surprising truths you may not know about pastors:. Pray often. Request for discernment. Give your dreams and hopes and desires to God and be loyal to what He is calling you to do!

That all being stated, Christian Podcasting is not easy. It takes effort, consistency, and a consistent knowing and awareness. It brings on Spiritual Warfare, it makes the Enemy turn his head towards you and it triggers you to take up your armor and fight the great battle of faith. Christian Podcasting will probably test your willpower. It will cause you to choose if you really lean on God, or if you lean on your own efforts (a mistake I have so sorely made and am learning from!) Podcasting for God's magnificence will cause you to discover a much deeper reliance on Him. It will spur you on to prefer Him more. It will lead you deeper into the Word. Or, a minimum of, it should. Since if you're heart isn't right with God, it will audibly become obvious. Your pride will get in the way. You'll end up being too concentrated on subscribers, reviews, downloads, analytics. It will drive you bonkers ... or, it will drive you closer to Jesus. Closer to knowing His grace, His redemption, His grace, to knowing Him. And all while you're being familiar with Him better, you'll be documented. Your voice will be heard, and you will- by the Holy Spirit- draw others closer to Him. After deep reflection and prayer, here's the nitty gritty to what it appears like to in fact begin a popular podcast: The Expense Podcasting isn't free. It's not free concerning time and it's not free in regards to loan. The Cost of Your Time Depending on the length of the show, your set-up, and your editing experience, the time it draws from concept to publishing an episode may differ. For me, 20 episodes in, each episode roughly takes 6-12 hours to create. That includes: Sending an e-mail and corresponding backward and forward with the potential visitor Producing a 24today podcast format guide and putting together concerns for the guest (see listed below my formatting guide that I send out to guests). Recording the real interview (1 hour). Editing (3-4 hours); this consists of pausing and typing out notable quotes that I can even more utilize in my program notes, and for social media promo. Publishing (copy writing, editing images, putting together show notes). Financial expense. This can differ depending upon what services you utilize, and if you have a Podcast Site. For me, I host my website on Squarespace (which I absolutely like and would recommend over WordPress or any other site building website). This costs a domain of $99 a year. And $20-ish/month. You can use Squarespace to release and host your online podcast media, nevertheless, I was running into a couple of issues trying to do that that I might not work around, so I opted to integrate an outside Publishing Site for that. I utilize BluBrry, which is another $20/ month. So monthly, my cost is approx $45/ month.

There are some methods to offset the costs:. Clients: I haven't yet considered fans or have used Patreon, a popular artist-income site, however I'm prayerfully considering it in the near future. Website Contributions: I could, also, use my Squarespace website to easily add a contribution or assistance button in which visitors could support this ministry if they so select. Affiliate Programs: I have actually registered for Amazon Affiliates, which implies I might potentially make a small commission (At absolutely no additional cost to the buyer) if somebody clicks one of my amazon links (like the ones in this post). Daily Grace Co. also has an affiliate program, as does ChristianBook. com and many more websites. Other Expenses: Equipment. EQUIPMENT. These are all the microphone options I considered. Lavalier Microphones: good idea if you will be tape-recording many in-person interviews, or developing YouTube videos together with your free podcast. Rode smartlave+-- plugs into phone. Rode videomic me-- likewise plugs into phone. This Audio-Technica ATR2100-USB was going to be my second alternative. It's cheaper than the Blu Yeti (listed below) which I have, and I've heard it's a fantastic beginning mic. It's around $60-80. This Audio Technica AT2020USB+ would be my "next level" microphone up from the Blu Yeti that I currently have. Up until now, I have not seen any requirement to update. Blu Yeti USB Microphone- ** This is the one I have and I really enjoy it so far! I also bought a pop-filter for it (below), and I think it works so well. You definitely need to be around soft surfaces or it sounds echo-y, but otherwise no complaints! I can't rave about this microphone enough. It plugs straight into my computer, so I can easily tape. Plus, the white one I have makes me feel uber podcast trendy. I generally tape-record simply myself, and then connect with my visitor by means of Zoom (more on that below), however there is a mode on this microphone where you can tape double ways, which is perfect for interviews in-person. Now, there are much more alternatives out there. You can purchase a sound converter box that can link 2 microphones together. (Or it's called something like that). You can purchase more expensive microphones. But, I suggest beginning with the Yeti. It's a pretty penny- I believe around $150-200, however worth it. Headphones. You need earphones to listen to your recording or into your conversation, due to the fact that the USB microphones steal the audio away from having the ability to play aloud from your computer system. Even if they didn't take the audio, you 'd want to have headphones. Otherwise, you would probably record a really odd echo or feedback loop. I went less expensive on my earphones and simply purchased these:. I bought this pair of $30 Sony MDRX11ONC earphones on amazon, and they work just great! However there are plenty of earphone choices out there, of all price varieties:. The importance is to get padded ones that don't allow the noise to permeate out and your microphone to choose it up once again in the recording. RECORDING:. There are numerous ways to record Podcasts. Here's a couple I recognize with:. Record Skype calls: Podcast Host's link how to do that here. Tape-record with Zoom.us: I have actually been using zoom.us to record the discussions and get in touch with interviewees. It's free and really easy! There's a video option to use if required, however I generally simply chat with noise. Visitors can contact to an unique telephone number or download zoom free of charge link online. Use QuickTime as a back-up- I constantly utilize the free QuickTime on my Mac to double-record an episode, just in case. I have actually needed to utilize this back-up alternative only once, but I'm glad I waited that way, too! Media Hosting to get podcast on itunes, ect. First, you require to decide if you will have a website to choose your podcast. If so, you'll have to set your site up. Once again, I use Squarespace. If you do not desire a site to accompany your 24today podcast, you can avoid the site setting up step. Second, find out where you will keep your media files (if using in conjunction with Squarespace), or where you will entirely host your podcast (if not using a site).

Places to host: Blubrry or Libsyn are top ones. I attempted Libsyn, however I got frustrated at how complex it seemed, so I switched to Blubrry. Nevertheless, Libsyn has more options to get onto a few choose podcast gamers (with Blubrry, you can submit to Spotify.). iTunes, or Apple Podcasts is the biggest Podcast gamer thus far. To get on iTunes suggests that your podcast will instantly sync to a couple of other major podcast players (Podbean, Overcast). To start, go to iTunes Link, here is where you will supply your RSS Feed. This RSS Feed you will get after you have actually produced your site to host your media (I find mine on my Squarespace page) or after you sign up on Blubrry or Libsyn to host your media. If you are having guests on your show (due to the fact that you likewise can do a solo program), here are some pointers:. Plumb the depths of people who are experts or who can add to your discussions beginning with people whom you do understand first.

Then, create significant social media interactions to get in touch with guests you do not understand. Learn more about them via their online existence. Read their books. Watch their media. Listen to other free podcast interviews of them, and then send them the email. If you don't get a response, try another person. If you get a "no", it's all right. There are more people out there. Try once again. Then, once someone accepts, send them your well-thought out questions and some standards and directions about your upcoming discussion. Here is a PDF of one of mine I've sent out. By definition, a pastor is one who "shepherds his flock." You understand this implies he preaches, officiates wedding events and most likely has conferences in his workplace to discuss some theological question; however what is the function of pastor like Pastor Tom really like? Here are 14 surprising facts you may not know about pastors:. We combat the balance between pleasing individuals and pleasing God every day. We do what we do since we love God ... and people. Trying to please both is a common reason for pastor burnout in part because people and God don't always want the very same thing. Pleasing God wins, but living with the pressure of pleasing people can be extremely draining. We often hear more negative than favorable feedback. Individuals assume pastors get applauded typically for their great preachings. Not true. We hear grievances often and more readily than we hear compliments. Healthy pastors can live without a great deal of compliments (at least they ought to have the ability to) however the reality is we typically hear much more negative than positive feedback on the preaching, worship service, theological points, and so on. We state "no" due to the fact that we like our sheep. Pastors like Pastor Tom have families and lives too. We have to say "no" sometimes in order to be an excellent father, a present hubby, a buddy or for self-care. When a pastor states "no" to a church event, it must not be gotten as a sign that the pastor does not like the sheep, but as a protective measure for the higher good of the church body so the pastor can continue serving them well. Our families feel the weight of our calling more than they will ever tell you. My kids are young, yet they feel the weight I bring home sometimes. So does my better half. Pastor's households are well aware of what they do and even the youngest member will feel the weight of what it suggests to lead a church. Be conscious that pastors are not called to serve without it impacting the household who is called, even if by default, to be in the ministry alongside them.

Consuming well, exercising well and sleeping well is hard work for us. Pastors are typically selfless to a fault. We will more quickly go serve somebody than to exercise, sleep or focus on self-care. While it might sound nice for a pastor like Pastor Tom to be generous and consider others initially, there is a balance to be practiced or it will not benefit the pastor or the individual being served. A lot of us are "Expert Extroverts." Pastors need to do a great deal of deep thinking and research study. We are utilized to being alone and in fact like it (the majority of us). We enjoy our time with individuals too, however we are typically professional extroverts, relating to crowds and leading people out of a secondary set of presents. We know we might earn money better doing something else, but we do not wish to. We can't do anything else ... we could ... but we "can't" because this is what we like the most and are contacted us to do. We remain although we do not constantly feel it. Having a calling is more than a sensation-- we face that reality regularly. Spiritual warfare is a way of life. The devil hates all Christians. I utilized to say that there is no chance he "hates" or targets pastors more. However the longer that I do this, the more I understand that the extensive effects from a leader who falls puts an automatic target on the pastor's back for the enemy to lob his arrows. Spiritual warfare is just part of the occupational hazard for a pastor. We are always battling our own sin too. Pastors are far from perfect. We have our own sins that we are always combating. Be patient with us. Pray for us. It takes us about seven days to "unplug" for a significant and true vacation. It is ACTUALLY difficult for pastors to disconnect. When we go on trip, it can use up to a week for us to loosen up prior to we are completely present. I try to take one two-week vacation a year just so that I can have one week where I am truly unplugged. It is difficult for us to have friends. Individuals presume we have lots of friends. Most of us do not. Think about it-- our church is our place of worship, our workplace and our pal circle; not three different contexts-- all the same one. The leadership function of "pastor" is not a hat that can be easily set aside in those contexts. That makes it hard to have buddies. We likewise battle with individuals who treat us as a good friend and not "pastor." It is possible for us to have buddies, but it takes effort and in some cases our friends are not in the churches where we serve. We work more than one day a week. Individuals joke with me (almost weekly?) that I "only work one day a week, what is the big deal?" I understand they are joking, but it is obviously not true. Due to many contemporary pastors like Pastor Tom being anticipated to fill roles that are both spiritual and administrative; most of us just have one day OFF a week. It takes a great deal of intentionality for us to have 2 days off a week. Wish your pastor in this and if you can, assist him have times or rest. He requires them. Our greatest joy is when our sheep "Get it." When people understand what we are discipling them toward, or when an individual "gets" salvation, we enjoy it. That is why we do this. We desire them to enjoy Christ and we like it when they "Get it.". We are rewarded by being welcomed into a complete spectrum of life's big minutes. Think about it, what other functions get to be an intimate part of births, deaths, baptisms, marital relationships, salvations, spiritual vacations, struggles and triumphes? A physician tends to births and deaths. A counselor tends to battles and triumphes. A pastor has the privilege of being welcomed into a complete spectrum of the "minutes" in lives of individuals he loves and serves. It is deeply rewarding, and is the among the special gifts that makes it all beneficial.

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hawthornewhisperer · 8 years ago

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Incoherent Screeching about 403

We start with SO MUCH BRAVENLARKE I am enjoying this even if they’re bickering.

I honestly can’t decide if Clarke’s snappish reaction to Bellamy’s “I’m not going to be one of the hundred” is a sign that this is an argument they have been having for days and she’s sick of it because you will live if I want you to live, dammit or if it’s the first time she heard of it and she’s caught off guard. Either one would make me flail like a turtle on its back, though.

So @ponyregrets pointed out that the way Bellamy knocks on the window of the rover and makes Jaha get out is a clear sign he watched a bunch of cop movies on the Ark, and we both agreed that this was because Octavia was super into Lethal Weapon and both Blake siblings probably really liked Speed and long story short, it’s now officially canon that Bellamy Blake has a crush on Sandra Bullock and Miss Congeniality is the official movie of the Blake family as it unites Bellamy’s two great loves (Sandra Bullock and feminism) with Octavia’s two great loves (makeup and punching.)

I am going to deal with the Raven arc in one fell swoop because eventually I’m just gonna be screaming about bellarke, so here goes: I feel AWFUL for Raven. She’s making decisions entirely on her own because she’s literally the only person who can, and fucking no one is stepping up to be her shoulder to cry on. I was definitely on her side over Abby in the medicine debate, and it really hurt to see her sort-of-mom challenge her, even if Abby truly believed she was doing the right thing. Raven’s arc is clearly not over and I do like where it’s going, but god, someone draw her a bubble bath and pour her an entire bottle of wine because my girl needs it.

I also really, really, REALLY loved the brief scene with Bellamy and Luna. I was surprised by how it was initially presented with Luna thinking she doesn’t deserve their help because she didn’t help them with the flame, though, because I never saw her decision as wrong? Like, yes, it would have helped them immensely, but the way they went about it was SO AWFUL and TERRIBLE that I felt Luna was totally justified in being like “no fuck you get off my rig.” So to have Luna frame her decision as having hurt them was surprising, but also very in character for our lovely pacifist mermaid.

HOWEVER, what I loved about that scene was the genuine remorse and understanding on both their sides. Luna basically admitted she would get it if he saw this as her just rewards, and Bellamy flat out refused that interpretation. His “no one deserves to suffer” was just the right amount of heartbreaking, because he probably does resent her a little but he never, ever wanted this. I also think he understands her pain better than most, and I have to move on now because if I don’t this will be too fucking long so check back this afternoon for 2k on Bellamy/Luna parallels.

To conclude the radiation arc: absolutely none of us are surprised that Luna’s nightblood makes her resistant to radiation, but that pales in comparison to that gutwrenching death scene. I cried and cried and thank you show, for remembering what you’re good at.

Murphy and Emori: god I love those two grifters so fucking hard, and I am really glad they at least addressed the complete lack-of-consent bullshit that was Murphy/Ontari. I also love that Murphy is ingratiating himself to Abby as a way of making sure he and Emori survive because that is On Brand for those two assholes and I could not be happier.

Before we finish with the bellarke flailing, back to Polis! ROAN’S ELVEN CLOAK IS EVERYTHING TO ME as is Indra having a daughter and backstory and an arc for this season that has almost nothing to do with the Skaikru. I am here for it, and I am here for Indra and Gaia having a complicated mother/daughter relationship that is just as deep and nuanced as Clarke and Abby’s. I am also really pleased with Octavia’s “fuck it, she’s family” decision to go against Roan, because that is insanely reckless and probably the wrong call politically but it is from the heart and in that respect it is 100% Blake and that makes me happy.

Also making me happy: Murderous Elf Prince! He’s so handsome and angry and yeah, I’m into it.

Okay, so....The Road Trip and the List. First of all, I laughed at Jaha sitting in the back while people young enough to be his kids drive the van, because....god, Jaha. Of COURSE you would think a cult can save everyone. That’s literally your first instinct: You know what could fix this? A cult! However, (and there will be MUCH MORE IN DEPTH FLAILING ABOUT THIS IN A SEPARATE POST) I really appreciated that his role in that scene was to a) present Bellamy with an easy option to assuage his guilt and b) lampshade the role that Bellamy fills in Clarke’s life, and then Bellamy rejected them both. He does not think that “it was for my people” is sufficient justification for the massacre (which: agreed, it isn’t) and I think that line was more about Jaha than Bellamy. Jaha has decided that so long as he thought he was doing the right thing, it’s okay, but Bellamy is following Beard Dad on this one, which I think is the right call. Bellamy also cannot see how important he is to Clarke, but he can see how important she is to him. It’s like, instinctive-- Jaha says “you center her” and Bellamy is like “lol no she centers me.” He doesn’t even take a beat to consider it, it just is. However, while he was right to reject Jaha’s solution for guilt, he was definitely wrong to reject his place in Clarke’s life buuuuut it’s also understandable because a lot of Clarke’s feelings for him are still buried deep down inside of her and only come out when he’s sleeping.

Sidenote: so clearly, some of Second Dawn survived and guys, this means Grounders are descended from Scientologists. I find this utterly delightful. Thank you, show, for being bonkers.

And then, we get a brief moment of peace. I am going to go with “Bellamy fell asleep and Clarke chose that moment to write out the list” as my headcanon for this scene because I don’t see a scenario where Bellamy is like “you do this awful thing; Big Boy needs his nap.” That’s not how they operate, and while I could maybe see him falling asleep due to pure exhaustion while they work on the list together, that also doesn’t feel very likely to me. So unless I hear otherwise, that’s the interpretation I’m going with.

So Bellamy falls asleep and Clarke watches him, glad that he’s getting a moment of peace in the oncoming hell. I suspect she kept his name off the list for several reasons, but the most important one here is she knows he doesn’t want to be on it. She’s trying to honor his wishes, but then she looks at him and is like, “I cannot imagine a world where he doesn’t deserve to survive.”

And then she breaks down. Because Clarke is never going to put her own name on that list, and it means she’s going to lose him. (Of course, she’d also lose him if they BOTH died, but she has already decided that is Not An Option). The weight of everything hits her at once, and Bellamy’s Clarke Alarm goes off and he wakes up. (Aside: Bellamy being kind of snort-y and noisy when he wakes up is like, the cutest fucking thing in the universe A+ work Bob). He knows right away what’s going on and he does the only thing he can think of: he offers his life in exchange for hers.

Except this time, they’re not dying-- they’re living. He’s saying “fine, you want me to survive? I’ll survive-- but only if you do too.” Clarke just can’t bring herself to say “yes I deserve to live” so Bellamy does it for her, and then he touches her-- gently, and just the once-- to show her she’s not alone, and then he makes himself leave. I have SO MANY thoughts about why he chose that moment to walk away, but I think the main reason was that he needed to, because he’s on the edge too and breaking down in front of Clarke wouldn’t help her. And that’s his only goal in that scene-- help her, lift some of that burden, remind her that she’s not alone. She’s his center, so he does what he can for her and then he walks away before he has to ask her for something, because to him that would be adding to her burden and that is unconscionable.

Because guys...he loves her so much. And she loves him too.

#the 100 s4 spoilers #403 spoilers #bellarke

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gyrlversion · 6 years ago

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I hope you drop dead in the next 100 yards: Remain marcher jeered

My husband took his dose of Remainer abuse cheerfully enough. After ten years in frontline politics, he accepts it as part of the job

With every passing day, the Brexit shambles more and more seems to resemble a half-built Ikea daybed.

It looks nothing like as enticing as it did in the showroom, none of the bits fit together as they are supposed to — and the chances of getting a good night’s sleep any time soon are distinctly unlikely.

Joking apart, whether you voted Leave or Remain, the one thing everyone seems to agree on is that Brexit is driving us all bonkers.

It’s got to the point where most people don’t care what happens — they just want it to stop. And who can blame them?

I sincerely hope Parliament manages to do this, either by approving Theresa May’s deal at the third attempt or by some other means. But whatever the final outcome, one thing is certain: we have to change the tone of our national conversation.

The process of trying to exit the EU has done more than simply underline the intransigence of Brussels; it has also exposed fundamental flaws in our own political system.

In particular, the way certain individuals may have seen Brexit as an opportunity to further their own ambitions, to manipulate perceptions, to capitalise on the difficulties of obtaining a deal, to attack rivals and thrust themselves into the limelight.

There are examples on both sides, from the shocking case of Remain MP Anna Soubry, who can no longer return home because of death threats, to the experience of my husband Michael Gove this weekend when, walking back from a meeting in London, he came across a People’s Vote marcher

It’s understandable the voters should feel frustrated. But there is something about the level of vitriol our politicians face that goes beyond an expression of dissatisfaction — and shades into something more sinister.

‘I hope you drop dead in the next 100 yards,’ the man shouted, to the delight of his companions. And when I then observed, in a tweet, that any Leave voter was at risk of being ‘lynched’ by furious Remainers, I was subject to so much online abuse I was forced to turn off my notifications. Ironically, I was reported to Twitter for using offensive language.

My husband took his dose of Remainer abuse cheerfully enough. After ten years in frontline politics, he accepts it as part of the job. But it’s undoubtedly getting worse.

Death threats and intimidation are now the norm. And while very few people ever follow through, it only takes one nutter. None of us will ever forget MP Jo Cox, whose murder remains one of the great tragedies of our times.

But even if no blow is ever struck, the long-term repercussions of such a siege mentality can leave lasting wounds. I know how being the object of constant low-level hostility can deplete one’s capacity for resilience and ultimately lead to mental health problems such as anxiety and depression.

And if I feel like that, God knows how someone like Labour MP Luciana Berger — who has suffered a torrent of anti-Semitic abuse — or Anna Soubry cope.

There’s no doubt this rise in abusive behaviour is part of the reason Parliament is so paralysed by Brexit. They are terrified of what might happen to them if they get it wrong.

The result is a House of Commons that is exhausted at a time when, more than ever, we need MPs to be fighting fit and focused 100 per cent on the job in hand.

Of course, politics is by its nature passionate, and no modern debate has elicited quite as much passion as Brexit. But it’s one thing to care deeply about something; quite another to use it as a legitimate excuse for abuse, hatred and the threat of violence.

The sooner this chapter in our history draws to a close, the sooner we can begin to repair the rifts and divisions.

I just hope that it’s not too late.

Car hire firms run out of credit

Yet another brilliant Mail campaign pays off: the regulator has ruled that car hire firms abroad will no longer be able to rip off customers with hidden fees. But they’ve got another scam under the bonnet. If you book and pay online using a debit card (as I do), when you pick it up they will not release the car unless you have a valid credit card (which I do not).

The upshot is that the only way to obtain your car is to pay for the hire firm’s own insurance — even if you have already taken it out through a third-party broker. Either way, car hire companies fleece everyone. Plus ca change.

It pains me to admit it, but I am one of those tipsy women shoppers making headlines, who, after a couple of glasses of wine on the sofa, ends up online buying their 427th handbag. Of course, there’s the risk that, under the influence of a chilled white, one might splash out a little too much. But there’s always free returns. Cheers!

It’s a subject that divides families, comes between spouses and has, in the past week, been the subject of much online debate. Not Brexit, but crisps.

On Sunday night, Channel 5 set out to find the nation’s favourite — and concluded it was a toss-up between Pringles, Walkers and Doritos.

But the matter is far from settled, with many contesting the result of the referendum. Sorry, survey. I think the results say more about Channel 5’s viewers than the crisps. Had it been Radio 4, the winner would have been those truffle ones you get in M&S which cost a fortune.

Channel 4 would have chosen something artisan and free-trade. BBC2? Tyrrell’s, for sure.

As for me, I can’t resist a Wotsit. No idea what that makes me. Fat, probably.

Full Marks from me

Anti-obesity campaigners say High Street shops are posing a risk to ‘public health’ by using vanity sizing to lure customers, and kidding them into thinking they’re not as tubby as they really are. Apparently, even Marks & Spencer is at it.

Maybe — but so what? There are so few genuine pleasures left in life these days, are they really going to take this last one — the joy of presenting a size 14 at the till instead of a 16, or noisily requesting ‘a smaller size’ in the changing room — away from us, too?

Former Spice Girl Mel B is desperate for one last hurrah. But her latest revelation, that she and Geri Halliwell had a Sapphic encounter, has backfired, since Geri is now reportedly reluctant to extend the band’s lucrative reunion tour. The irony is that Mel B badly needs the tour for financial reasons.

If she’s not careful she’ll end up like Katie Price: flogging the depths of her soul in exchange for ever-scanter rewards.

A rather sour Apple

After posting a snap with her 14-year-old, Apple, on Instagram, Gwyneth Paltrow was told off in no uncertain terms. ‘Mom, we have discussed this. You may not post anything without my consent’

It’s a relief to discover that even such super-soignee celebrities as Gwyneth Paltrow are cut down to size by their teenage daughters.

After posting a snap with her 14-year-old, Apple, on Instagram, Paltrow was told off in no uncertain terms. ‘Mom, we have discussed this. You may not post anything without my consent.’

Impressive — and, believe me, a lot more politely expressed than what own my daughter says if I so much as come within ten yards of her with my camera.

Emily Maitlis, the new lead presenter of Newsnight, struck a chord with me when she said: ‘I weep after interviews.’ Some people interpret this as a sign of weakness, but it is actually a tremendous strength because it shows that as well as having a mind like a steel trap, Emily also possesses a degree of empathy.

You get a far better insight into people by treating them as humans than you do from barking at them à la Jeremy Paxman.

25 years on Liz wears its swell

I think Liz Hurley wears it rather better now than she did back then. Sure, the face and body were more youthful in the first version, but there is something about the assuredness and life experience of the older woman that trumps the bloom of youth

It’s not quite the same — the safety pins are in strategically different places — but there is no mistaking the look: 25 years after she stepped out in ‘that’ dress, Liz Hurley proves, in the new Harper’s Bazaar, that age is no barrier to glamour.

Actually, I think she wears it rather better now than she did back then. Sure, the face and body were more youthful in the first version, but there is something about the assuredness and life experience of the older woman that trumps the bloom of youth.

I certainly know which one I would rather sit next to at dinner, anyway.

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fangzeronos · 6 years ago

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A Luthor and A Super Ch. 8

Ch. 1 / Ch. 2 / Ch. 3 / Ch. 4 / Ch. 5 / Ch. 6 / Ch. 7

Almost a week had passed for Kara, locked up in the DEO. Protests outside of the building, its location leaked by Lena, sounded day and night. Lena and Alex did their best to try and keep Kara from doing anything crazy that would get her in more trouble. She sighed as she watched people go back and forth in front of the cell, Brainy bringing her meals when it was time. She was bored, no doubt about it. She was sure the cell was being radiated with Kryptonite or Red Sun energy since her powers weren’t working. Her phone was taken, and she was pretty sure her apartment was being raided every other minute by more and more DEO agents.

Alex walked down the hall and leaned against the wall, looking at her sister. “I am trying to get you out of here, sweetie. I swear, I am doing my best.”

Kara nodded softly, sitting up and rubbing her arms. “I know, Alex,” she said. “I…I didn’t do anything wrong. Hiding being Supergirl, not telling the government. I didn’t lie to save my own ass. I lied so the people I loved wouldn’t be hurt. Lot of frigging good that does me, right? You or Lena are kidnapped or beaten up every Sunday. It’s like clockwork.” She sighed and brushed her hair back. “Question. Is Kryptonite being pumped into the cell? Cause ever since I got shoved unceremoniously into this thing, I have been nauseous as hell.”

Alex narrowed her eyes, grabbing her tablet from her hip and scrolling to the cell schematics. “That bitch,” she growled. “She’s pumping low levels of Kryptonite through the walls. Not enough to hurt you, but just enough to keep you obedient.” She tapped a tab and shut off the Kryptonite, watching the color start to come back into Kara’s face. “I thought you looked sick. Kara, I’m sorry! I should have realized—”

“Stop,” Kara said with a small smile. “You didn’t know. It’s alright, Alex. It’s not your fault.” She bit her lip, looking at Alex. “What’s being done to get me out of here?”

“Well, other then having J’onn keep Lena from ripping Haley’s head off, I’m waiting for Lucy,” Alex said. “I called her the same day you were put in, and she’s looking up everything she can to get you out of here. She said as soon as she’s got something, she’s going straight to President Baker and going to get you out. I mean, protesters all over the city are marching around the DEO every hour of the day, and polling’s showing that you’re doing better then he is. It’ll be another Ben Lockwood situation if he isn’t careful.”

“Wait—what about Lockwood?” Kara asked, her eyes wide. “What happened?”

Alex sighed. “People protested outside of the prison for so long and loud enough that Baker signed an executive pardon and released him. Three days ago,” she said.

“Son of a bitch,” Kara growled. “After all the trouble I went through to get him in the first place!? That jackass in the White House says it’s fine for him to walk around and incite more anti-alien violence? Xenophobia’s fine, but hiding a secret identity is wrong? What the actual fuck?!” She slammed her hand into the wall, yelling as she did.

“Kara!” Alex said. “Calm down, honey.”

“NO! That bastard’s walking around, James Olsen in his goddamn pocket, turning my city against Aliens, and I can’t do a fucking thing to stop it! I’m trapped in a cell, Alex. Cut off from my girlfriend, my other friends, my sister, my mother. I can’t do anything stuck in here. Lucy needs to find a solution fast or I’m ripping these walls down and walking out!”

Alex sighed, opening the cell door and walking in before hugging her sister tightly. “I’ll get you out of here, Kara,” she whispered. “I swear. I’ll do whatever I can to get you home.”

Kara nodded, wrapping her arms around Alex and blinking back the tears. “No more tears. I have to stop bawling like a baby every time something happens. Time to grow the fuck up.” She thought, squeezing Alex softly. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” Alex said, pulling back and putting her hands against Kara’s cheeks. “Keep strong, sweetie.”

“Feel like I’m interrupting something,” a new voice said, Kara looking over Alex’s shoulder and grinning.

“Lucy!” Kara grinned, moving past her sister and hugging her friend. “You’re here!”

“With good news,” Lucy said, hugging Kara back and smiling. “You look good, girl.”

“I need a shower,” Kara laughed.

“What’s your good news, Luce?” Alex asked, folding her arms and smiling.

“President’s wrong for keeping you locked up,” Lucy said. “There’s no case. There’s no law that says anything about superheroes working with government agencies that have to reveal their identities. You don’t get paid, you don’t draw taxes, you’re not losing anything by working for the government, so you’re being held illegally. I’m taking these to Haley, and they’ve got Baker’s signature. You’re free today, Kara.”

Kara smiled and nodded. “Lucy, I can’t thank you for this.”

Lucy shook her head, putting her hand on Kara’s shoulder. “You don’t have to. You’re my friend. Alex told me what happened, and I dropped everything to get here to help you. I’m sorry it took me this long.”

“One more day in that cell, I would have gone bonkers,” Kara said. She walked down the hall with Lucy and Alex, seeing Hayley barking orders around the room. “Colonel Haley.”

Haley turned, narrowing her eyes before seeing Lucy. She quickly snapped to attention and saluted. “General Lane. I was unaware of you coming to the DEO.”

“At east, Colonel,” Lucy said. “I’ve just come from the President, Lauren. After extensive research and fact hunting about Ms. Danvers. You’re holding her illegally, no rights were read, no laws were violated. There is nothing about heroes who work for the government having to reveal their identities. These are signed by President Baker himself, papers for Ms. Danvers’ release.” She handed the folder to Haley, smiling as she did. “She’s been released, and you’re being sent back to Washington. Clear out your desk, Colonel.”

Haley narrowed her eyes. “This will not stand, General,” she said.

“Get out, Lauren,” Lucy said. “Clear your desk, take your ass back to Washington. Or, if you’d rather fight me, I’ll lock you away until you’re tried for insubordination and we’ll knock you down a few stripes. That what you want?”

“No,” Haley said, stepping around Lucy and grumbling.

“About time,” Brainy said with a shake of his head. “That woman was more annoying than Imra’s monthly psychic outbursts.”

“I’m going to assume that’s similar to--?” Kara asked.

“Yes,” Brainy said. “Not fun. Even Mon-El knew to hide form her for a week. Did not help that she could find him simply.”

Lucy snickered softly, shaking her head. “Where’s J’onn?” she asked.

“Retired. Took up a private investigator job,” Alex said. “I’m in charge.”

Lucy smiled. “Go Danvers,” she said. She looked at Kara and smiled, hugging her again. “Go home. Shower, sleep, eat until you explode.”

“Ravage Lena until you’re both passed out,” Alex smirked.

Kara laughed. “Yes, mothers. I’ll do that,” she said, hugging Alex and Lucy. “I really do owe you for this, Luce.”

“No you don’t,” Lucy said, putting her hands on Kara’s shoulders and spinning her around. “Go, woman!”

Kara smiled, taking off running before leaping over the balcony, cheering as she soared off. The crowds around the DEO saw her, cheering as she disappeared into the skies. She flew over the city, sighing as she enjoyed the wind in her face and hair, the feeling of freedom after a week in confinement. Scanning the city, she flew down to the balcony of LCorp, pushing the door open and wrapping her arms around Lena’s shoulders.

“Hi, babe,” Kara said, kissing Lena’s cheek.

“Kara!” Lena yelled, turning and wrapping her arms around her girlfriend tightly. “Oh, my God….” She shook as she clung to Kara, sniffling softly. “What…how…?”

“Alex called Lucy Lane,” Kara said. “There was no case. I was being held illegally. Haley’s been sent packing to Washington and I’m free as a bird.”

Lena smiled, cupping Kara’s face and kissing her. “I have missed you,” she whispered. “Vibrators are nothing compared to you.”

Kara smiled, kissing Lena back and wrapping her arms around her girlfriend. “Well…cancel your meetings for the rest of the day and we’ll go home. I’ll show you how much I’ve missed you. After I get a shower and eat my weight in pizza and pot stickers.”

Lena smiled and nodded. She looked over as the door was knocked on and opened, Jess walking in. “Jess? What is it?”

“Eve’s outside. She needs to speak to you,” Jess said.

Lena nodded. “Alright. Send her in.” She looked behind Jess as Eve walked in. “Eve? What’s wrong?”

Eve bit her lip, walking around Jess and sighing softly. “We’ve had a break in down in R&D. The research is gone.”

“Which part?” Lena asked, panic in her voice. “Eve?”

“All…all of it,” Eve said. “I’ve got CCTV footage so we might find something, but…”

Lena sighed, her hands clenched. “Let me see,” she said. She took the tablet from Eve, playing back the footage. She watched it and rewound it several times, narrowing her eyes. “Who the hell?”

Kara looked over Lena’s shoulder, watching the footage. “Can we slow that down just a bit more?” she asked. Lena nodded, slowing the footage. “Manchester Black. What is he doing breaking into your R&D?”

Lena sighed, looking down before looking at Kara. “Come with me,” she said. “Eve, you too.” Eve nodded, following Lena and Kara toward the elevator. Once they were inside, the guilt in Lena’s gut overtook her. “Kara, I…have a confession to make. Last Spring, when you brought the Harun-El. I may have…managed to replicate it. What your mother took back to Argo City was the real Harun-El, but I made a copy of it. I’ve been…I’ve been testing it on hearts. Testing it on human tissue. We had one positive test that let the heart shrug off damage, and it grew a thick outer skin that made it damage resistant to everything.”

Kara looked at Lena, not in anger, but in intrigue and fascination. “Why am I just now hearing about this?” she asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Lena bit her lip. “When I was going to tell you, it was before you told me you were Supergirl, back when we were still arguing. Then you told me the truth and everything that’s happened since…I honestly never tried hard enough. It’s supposed to be a way to give powers to a normal human in case shit gets too tough for you and Brainy can’t get out to help you,” she said, looking at Kara. “Are…are you mad at me, honey? Upset? I’d understand if you were.”

Kara smiled, taking Lena’s hands. “I’m not mad,” she said. She kissed Lena softly, smiling against her lips. “I can help you with this. Back before Krypton exploded, I was in the Science Guild. I’m a scientist at heart. Let’s figure out why Manchester wanted the thing, and we’ll get to work finishing it.”

Lena threw her arms around Kara, clutching her girlfriend tightly. “I don’t deserve you,” she said, smiling against Kara’s neck.

Kara smiled, rubbing Lena’s back and looking up as the elevator stopped in the basement of LCorp. She walked out with Lena and Eve, the lights coming on as they made their way over to a table. “This is where you were working?”

“Yes,” Lena said. “The heart was there, but according to the tape, Manchester Black got in, stole the heart, and got right back out. No alarms were tripped, no doors were kicked open. In and out like he phased through the wall.”

“Ms. Luthor? I’m rewatching the footage, and there’s a red mist that appeared just before Manchester,” Eve said, handing the tablet to Lena. “Right there.”

Lena narrowed her eyes. “Whoever can do that, that’s how Manchester got in here. But why take the heart?”

Kara sighed, looking around. “He’s obsessed with getting back at the Children of Liberty for killing his fiancée. He thinks that they all deserve to die and that aliens should stand up and fight back against the xenophobia that’s become rampant since the Children showed up and President Marsdin was removed and replaced with Baker. What makes it worse is that there’s nothing I can do to stop either side.”

“Yes, there is,” Lena said. “You’re a symbol of hope. Someone that people look to for hope, freedom, safety. You’re doing something even when you can’t see the outcome, Kara.”

Eve smiled and nodded. “The last week, everyone’s been begging for Supergirl’s release from jail for not doing anything wrong. When they see you out there in the suit again, they’ll have their hope back.”

Kara smiled softly, nodding and making her way over to the table. “Alright, so what do we need to do first?” she asked. “Obviously, find a way to track Manchester. If his red mist friend can just pop in and out like a genie in a bottle, we’ll have to be extra careful.” She looked around and let her eyes land on the vault in the corner, biting her lip and looking away as terrible memories flooded back into her. She wrapped her arms around herself and sighed.

“Kara?” Eve asked.

“I’m fine,” Kara lied, smiling a bit.

“No, you’re not,” Lena said. “You eyeballed the vault and got quiet.” She walked over and took Kara’s hands, squeezing before leading her over to the vault. “You thought back to when you asked James to break in, didn’t you?”

Kara nodded. “I still feel terrible about it, even after all the crap he’s done.”

Lena smiled softly, leaning in and kissing Kara gently. “I’m going to prove that there’s no Kryptonite in the vault,” she said. She stepped back and input her security code, twisting the knob and pulling the vault door open. When she did, a dull glow emanated from inside, Lena’s eyes getting wide before she threw the door shut. “Son of a bitch!”

Kara hit the ground, looking up at Lena. “Lena…? What the hell…?”

“Honey, I swear to you, I removed all of the Kryptonite from the vault,” Lena said, kneeling beside Kara and cupping her face. “I swear. I can have Eve show you the footage from when we did. I wouldn’t keep it after knowing it can hurt you and learning the truth, you have to believe me, baby.”

Kara leaned into Lena’s hand, nodding softly. “I do believe you,” she whispered. “But who could have gotten into—” She stopped, looking at the vault and narrowing her eyes. “Who else has access down here?”

“Just Eve and I,” Lena said. “Why? Kara, what are you thinking?”

Kara stood up, shaking her head out. “Your mom’s still in jail, right?” she asked.

“Yes,” Lena said, cocking an eyebrow. Her mind started working, her eyes going wide. “Oh, shit.”

“Ms. Luthor?” Eve asked. “What’s wrong?”

“Lex. Lex was getting out this week. I never changed the security codes or took his scan out of the system,” Lena sighed, her hands clenched tightly. “Goddamn it! And since you were outed by Olsen, and prison just shows news most of the time, I’m willing to bet my life that Lex is out and found his Kryptonite and stashed it here because he knew I’d bring you here and open that vault.”

Kara took Lena’s hands. “We’ll get him. I swear. He won’t get away with this. Between Manchester, Lockwood and the Children of Liberty, and now Lex…we’ve got a massive three-way war on our hands. We have to be careful.”

Lena nodded, looking at the vault and narrowing her eyes. “Let’s go. I can get rid of this later.”

“I can have it breached to a different Earth,” Kara said. “I just need to get Cisco.”

“Friend from Earth-1?” Lena asked.

“Yep,” Kara said. “I have a device that lets me breach into other Earths, and Cisco can follow me back here. You can give him the Kryptonite, he can take it where it can’t be found or used to harm anyone. I can do that first thing in the morning.”

Lena nodded, wrapping her arms around Kara and kissing her softly. “Alright,” she whispered. “I love you. I’m so sorry Lex is trying to hurt you.”

Kara wrapped her arms around Lena’s waist as she kissed back, smiling against her girlfriend’s lips. “I love you, too. You don’t have to apologize for Lex and his murderous ways. You have nothing to be sorry for,” she said. “Now…why don’t I take you home and have some fun with you?”

Lena smirked, nipping Kara’s lip. “That sounds like a date, Ms. Danvers,” she said, teasingly sliding her hands down Kara’s back before grabbing her ass, making her girlfriend jump.

Eve cleared her throat softly. “Um…you know I’m still here?” she asked with a smile and a cocked eyebrow.

Lena looked at Eve and felt a blush crawl up her face. “Sorry, Eve. You can go home for the rest of the day. Take tomorrow, too.”

Eve smiled and nodded. “Yes, ma’am. See you on Monday,” she said, setting the tablet down and walking off.

Kara giggled, nuzzling Lena’s neck with her nose and nipping softly. “Soon as we get you home, I’m pinning you to the bed and not letting up until you can’t walk.”

“Then don’t turn on the Red Sun Lamps,” Lena smirked, laughing when Kara scooped her up and took off.

“I don’t plan on it,” Kara said, kissing Lena as she flew back toward the apartment.

Despite the elation in her heart, Kara’s stomach weighed heavily, knowing her words were right about an upcoming three-way war between Manchester, Lex, and Lockwood. She’d be caught in the middle of the conflict, and she wasn’t certain she knew what to do when it finally boiled over.

#Supergirl #SuperCorp #Kara Danvers #Lena Luthor

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