#god. don't get me started on him
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honestly, untameable mc should've just left the ranch and gone back to the city when austin refused to let her help. would've saved her a lot of trouble
#i went through my drafts and found this and skdkjsdksjkj#i stand by my point and my prev tags:#look i just played two chapters and they felt like an entire book bc everything was so annoying#why are they all acting like mc has never been on a ranch?#kit had to explain to her how to deal with the horses (what to do and in what order) . r you telling me that in all her years of living at#the ranch she never took care of the horses?#and austin#god. don't get me started on him#i'm the number 1 austin hater. if he has 1 million haters i'm one of them. if he has 1000 im one of them. if he has 1? its me. i hate him#im still only at chapter 4 or sth btw#choices untameable#untameable#playchoices
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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.
Bonus:
#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks#hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature#ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete#they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot
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sometimes I think of all the on-the-surface warm, well-meaning but deeply ineffectual advice and attention john gives harrow through harrow the ninth (make some soup and get some sleep! get a hobby! don't be so hard on yourself! self care harrow! as long as I need take no actual responsibility in this relationship whatsoever I would have loved to be your dad!) set up against the stark truth that with his other hand he has been staging her attempted horrific murder again and again and again like a living nightmare on the logic that it will 'put her down or fix her'. and then I find that I wish there is a hell. a special hell where twitch streamers turned necromantic death emperors go
#the locked tomb#harrowhark nonagesimus#john gaius#harrow the ninth#this is why I don't buy john as misunderstood and initially well-meaning AT ALL#this is a pattern you see with him again and again and again -- right down to his interpersonal relationships#(and indeed it's in the more grounded interpersonal relationships you can most clearly see him as he is I think#the fantasy death empire of a thousand years doesn't register quite as viscerally because it's like. heightened; not quite real#but the emotional violence and manipulation that surrounds him? oh boy that is EXTREMELY real and scarily well-observed)#there's a premeditation to so much of what he does (contracts with planets that only end 'in the event of the emperor's death' anyone?#yeah john we get it you're hilarious and I wish you weren't)#the greatest trick john ever pulled was making anyone think he's just a lil guy. what does he know he's only god#when you first read the book the complete callousness of the other adults is so horrible that john seems like an oasis of care#(though you start to get this uneasy feeling when that care never seems to translate to like... relief or soothing or resolution)#and it makes it feel almost obscene when you find out what's actually going on#it's the mercy & augustine enabler hour but at least they're completely honest in their cruelty there#while john is -- well he sure is being john huh#this is just me being angry with him btw philosophically I don't think this is how the story will or should end#(with john slam dunked right into hell that is)#it's just... harrow is so vulnerable. and what he does to her is so insidious and fucked up#john is very deeply human. unfortunately the capacity to quite simply suck so much is deeply human too
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About Wyll and his horns (and what they mean)
Let's say I was writing a part of my Tav's story with Wyll directly connected to the dialogue he has during the tiefling party, and while struggling with this bit, I've realized there's quite a few misconceptions floating around. I felt compelled to add information to the table that might clear them, so here we go.
First, what exactly happens to Wyll when he disobeys Mizora in act one? Well, he doesn't get turned into a devil, he certainly doesn't get turned into a tiefling, he's not a half fiend, not a demon, none of that. Wyll stays human, but he has horns and red eyes (and other features we can't see on his model as of now).
(Everyone has their race listed, Wyll's remains "Human")
This is because when a warlock fails to uphold some part of their contract they can suffer a certain number of consequences, Wylls is “The character grows horns, a tail, or some other devilish features that can't be removed by any means short of divine intervention. As long as these marks persist the character detects as a fiend when subjected to Detect Evil and Good spells or similar magic.” ( from Baldur's Gate: Descent into Avernus, page 214)
And I’ve come across some people that think it wasn’t so bad of a punishment, that he was being racist towards the tieflings, or just not being justified in being upset after having his body forcibly changed against his will. I think they are missunderstanding just how insidious Mizora’s actions were, and here I just want to give some context to maybe bring a better understanding to the situation. Your conclusions are up to you.
Gonna start by using a not exact analogy, but I think it’s going to make the explanation easier. Stick with me for a minute.
Remember Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean? He had a branded “P” on his arm that marked him as a pirate. A murderer, robber, criminal, etc. in the eyes of the society he was a part of. What did Jack do to earn the branding? (if you don’t know this I suggest you look up the “people aren’t cargo mate” scene) He refused to transport slaves and later freed them, and Beckett had him marked as punishment.
Then, in the first movie, he saves Elizabeth, a woman he didn’t know, from drowning. Right after however, when Norrington sees he has a branded “P”, he’s like “alright, off to jail with you, and then hanging”, no other option crosses his mind. Again, Jack doesn’t know Elizabeth, isn’t indicated to think he is going to be rewarded for helping her, he just sees a drowning person, sees that no one else is going to help, and chooses to save them. That is a pretty selfless/good aligned thing to do, for no other reason that he was the one able to do it, yet the branding in his arm overrides any good action he could ever do, marking him as a criminal for execution and no further thought.
In a way, that’s what Mizora did to Wyll; she forever visibly branded him as someone that has made deals with devils, and that in the world of DnD is a VERY BAD THING. Personally I really like the mod that gives him more devilish features, but at the same time I think there was something clever about choosing to leave him looking more human. He can’t be confused with a tiefling, he doesn’t have the ears, the claws, the tail, all those features that characterize them. He looks kind of uncanny, and that would be like a red flag for anyone in that world. (Beyond the already existing hate for tieflings that I’m not gonna tackle on here because it’s a complicated thing that deserves its own post). And Wyll wants to do good, he wants to help people, to be a positive force in the world so, so badly. This dude got abducted by a nautiloid, got tadpole’d, and the first thing he did right after that was come across the Tiefling refugees and be like “Oh you need help? No worries let me teach you self defense. Oh you being attacked by goblins? Let me blast them real quick”. His way of saying fuck you to all the awful things that have happened to him is being aggressively good and kind. Mizora knows this very well, wants to see him suffer for her amusement, wants to remind him he can't escape her claws, so her choice of punishment was to forever taint his future interactions with mistrust and suspicion. Some people can go real fast from “oh thank God they saved me” to “oh no, are they gonna rob me, are they trying to trick me, are they in cahoots with the ones that attacked me first?” just because of outward appearances. Especially in DnD world. And that deserves its own conversation, but we're focusing on Wyll here.
(Mizora, when I catch you Mizora)
“Well, maybe he shouldn’t have made a deal in the first plac- - “ He was seventeen, alone, preyed upon by Mizora and put in an impossible situation. Please PAY ATTENTION to the story you’re witnesing.
Anyway.
About the tieflings. I know it’s easy to think his words can be derisive towards them, but it’s less about the horns and more about his body being changed against his will. Imagine instead that he got half his face burned, or something that disfigured him. I think his feelings at the moment were closer to that, and yeah they are pretty insensitive words to say to someone with a similar condition (horns or disfiguration), but when feelings are fresh and raw like that it’s easy to say insensitive things. Not saying it was ok for him to say them, but there was no malice in his words. I’ve also seen some people share that they think Mizora wanted to change him more to make him unrecognizable to his original self, the Wyll Ravenguard kid, and I think there is some truth to that too. She wants to make sure that Wyll remembers that he belongs to her, there's no question to that.
(MIZORA, WHEN I CATCH YOU MIZORA)
Whether the Tieflings refugees would feel unsettled by Wyll or not? Yes. In a way, they would. From reasons aside from the ones I explained above, remember that these specific tieflings come from Elturel. If you didn’t pass the History check or don’t remember, Elturel is a city that was literally ripped from the land and dragged to Avernus, First layer of hell (it left a hole on the ground and everything) because their mayor made a deal with the Archdevil Zariel some decades back in the timeline. He sold the souls of all its citizens and the city itself.
This was probably one of the worst times of their lives. Some even got captured and forced to participate in the blood War, like Dammon as a mechanic. And after Elturel got returned to the surface, the tieflings lost their homes because they reminded the other citizens of the literal Hell they’d just gone through, and they kicked them out. And remember, they met and saw Wyll as a human, and then saw him with horns. It’s not unreasonable to think that by looking at him they would be reminded of all the events that led them to the awful situation they’re in. Because of someone that was making deals with devils, just like Wyll. Even if his situation is completely different. And Wyll knows that, that’s why he tells you the tieflings are unsettled by him and chooses to stay away during the party.
It was never just about the horns.
And I know Wyll calls himself a devil but I think it’s because it’s the closest thing he looks as; devils are a whole different race with their own intricacies, although humans can be turned into devils ONCE their souls go to Avernus and they start climbing the power hierarchy there (Mizora and Raphael are cambions/ half-devils btw, which is a different thing, there are plenty of videos exploring those details more in depth).
Do I think Larian should have made some of this information clearer/easier to access? Maybe? but to be fair, it's a game focused and dedicated to a crowd that was already somewhat familiar with the source material, that blew up waay out of what they originally expected to reach. Hopefully they’ll add some clarifications like they did to other quests.
Anyway these are my two cents to the conversation, have a nice day, and don't hesitate to add your two cents if you feel like it!
#bg3#baldurs gate 3#wyll#bg3 wyll#wyll ravengard#wyll bg3#mizora#lore#baldurs gate#bg3 discourse#bg3 discussion#elturel#bg3 companions#tieflings#I hate mizora so much oh my god#fully headcanon that when my Tav went to Avernus with Kalach and Wyll they destroyed her#he canonically goes after her in one of the endings#so wtf not#and don't get me started on Ulder Ravengard#I'll rip him a new one on another post#just you wait#tw slavery#tw mentions of slavery
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KISS X KISS X KISS: Love ii Shower (2023) I Atelier Kiss "Aside from me, do you ask someone else to model for you?"
#kiss x kiss x kiss#kiss x kiss x kiss love ii shower#atelier kiss#nagumo shoma#takemoto yusuke#jdramaedit#jdramasource#asiandramasource#userfaiza#userrlaura#uservix#userharu#moonlightsdream#asiandramanet#naoki kinda gagged him when he said 'don't play dumb with me'#he is truly acting dumb#bro you're the one who invited him to come over to YOUR house so that he could model for YOU!!!!#and now you're provoking him to get a reaction out of him - so don't play fucking dumb with naoki pls bc naoki deserves better#but that's the game that yamashiro likes to play i guess#also absolutely obsessed with the contrast between them: naoki with his golden hair golden skin and honest temparement is like the sun#while yamashiro with the black hair black clothes and cold exterior is the like night sky#plus of course let's not forget to say the following: shoma is absolutely beautiful in this shot#this is the only moment where naoki seems to have the upper hand#plus kinda poetic that he's standing above yamashiro when he starts calling him out on his bs#and also the way the sun behind shoma hits him and makes him even more gorgeous and glowing GOD!!!!!!!!!#mywork
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sub yuta okkotsu agenda 😔
no bc i got THOUGHTS, i got so many thoughts about my babygirl named yuuta okkotsu, you don't even UNDERSTAND how badly i want him
him in the movie-*aggressive eye twitch*, his big sweet innocent puppy eyes-fuck it just *short circuits*
AND THEN afterwards when he's his anxious, tired, emo self (me too fr), like he's still just my cutie patootie and it's a literal CRIME how little sub fics of him there are bc take one look at that baby AND TELL ME that he is a daddy dom in bed-you'd be lying to yourself and me-and we do not tolerate lying in this house
no but fr, he is not domming for his life. a service top-perhaps, he would still cry a lot though and if you were making HIM fuck YOU he would beg for you to just take over, his arms shaking on either side of your head as he tries to make you feel good. because it's not the same like this-he wants you to fuck him, he wants to ride you as your hands grope over his body, he wants to pinned against a wall and fucked hard and rough within an inch of his life.
babyboy just wants to be loved and taken care of by his so
#inbox💌#he's probably my second favourite character in jjk#after geto (my literal wife)#but like i'm not even done talking abt him but i gotta shut up before i talk too much and can't stop😭#don't even get me started on HIM AND MAKI#god i want her so bad too#they are the bi panic#imagine tagteaming him with maki#and he just dumbly takes it all like a good boy😫#“i can take it~”#“m' a good boy-right?”#YES YOU"RE A FUCKING GOOD BOY#I WANNA EAT HIM UPPPP#sub yuuta#hard thoughts#dom reader#yuuta x reader#yuuta okkotsu smut#yuta smut#yuuta okkotsu x reader#jjk smut#sub jjk#sub jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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[ But i wish, the '"interesting" him' I am talking to right now, Hold some part of truth of the 'true him'. ]
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( a bit of thought after seeing their 2 interactions on x & x )
#i only just started to play the game; trey senpai loves me so much his different cards kept coming to me; even my first SSR is him#i don't know this ends up very long which probably doesn't make sense in the end#twst#twisted wonderland#treyjade#trey clover#jade leech#fanart#i remember seeing one strip about trey finding his strawberries bitten#and he thought it was some pest & went to get pesticide#but then he found jade later nibbling on them fshd#i love them so much ............#they are my top comfort ship rn#OH GOD I REMEMBER the strip where trey found jade sketching on plants on botanical garden & complimented his drawing#and then jade be like DRAW ME! DRAW ME!#AND IT WAS LITERALLY THE UGLIEST THING TREY COULD EVER SCRIBBLED (not really bcs he is just bad at DRAWING in general *crying)#BUT JADE TREASURES IT WITH HIS LIFE LIKE IT'S EVERYTHING HE COULD EVER ASK FOR#FSHDSH#I LOVE THEEEEEM!!!!!!!!!!!!#I couldn't create something for them to that adorable level but hngghhh....... i love them o(-<
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Can you talk about trans!Curly a little bit more? I'm curios if you have any headcanons and the like
-💀
It's just such a thing in my mind because it adds a truthful sadness and differing aspect to mouthwashing.
If Curly was trans it adds the horror of the horribly selfish thought he could have easily been in Anya's situation. It could've been him but it wasn't and he so conflicted on the pit it put in his stomach that brings and the shameful relief it wasn't. In this scenario he is friends with Jimmy for a long time still. Jimmy likely knew him pretransition. Maybe he gave Curly weird looks then, maybe they never stopped after, maybe they seemed meaner. They are guys now, bros, both of them are. He doesn't really have to worry what those looks mean anymore, Jimmy just has that face with him sometimes. It's recontextualizing a lot of things for him that he was in denial about or too ashamed to admit. How naive he was being and how he let that get another person hurt.
Specifically with Anya, it's he knows the dread and fear she's feeling. He can understand it because he had to live with it for a good portion of his life, he knows it cause he still does, just in a slightly different way. It makes him think of all the times he's been alone with Jimmy, all the times he's been way more drunk off his ass and not remember the night, Jimmy was always with him the next day. Makes him think of the comments he would laugh off both because that's what guys do but because that part of being a girl says to laugh so Jimmy doesn't do something. It's the selfish realization that he was never safe and he's uncertain now too. Mad at himself for forgeting that feeling, espcially since for a long time he would've been considered the only woman on a crew (with all that implies) for a long time.
He should've taken those blinders off, step back into that position for just a moment and it's so much more painful that Anya likely came to him because he should've gotten it. Those thoughts don't leave his mind after the crash when he's in an even more vulnerable position than she was...
#this is less headcanons and more my thoughts of the intersectional horror this brings to mouthwashing which is also a thing it#already has but more directly in the mix vs just the class gender and positional struggle. like the idea he waited to confront Jimmy becaus#he could conceptualize the crime better because of experience with womanhood and also how it would've destroyed him in terms of being trans#like its weird to word as a comparison but thats kinda how empathy works as in an understanding and ability to project through aspects#like you found out your friend who has always had weird feelings about and relating to you is a rapist and got one of your other friend#pregnant and is now being openly hostile and aggressive towards you. You have only a few days to really think on all of this all the years#with him and how many oppurtunites he had that you blame yourself for giving him both in life and to do to you. You are starting to#realize that he may have done what he did to Anya because it was no longer viable with him or because of weird transphobia/homophobia#from Jimmy and god its so much and he should've know better and what did Jimmy do then - c r a s h#he is at such a small amount of mercy to Jimmy now and he can't protect Anya and it's terrifying because i know and you know that Jimmy is#giving him those weird looks again...#like it adds another layer of horror to things and while I don't think Jimmy would do anything to Curly it's heavily implied he targeted he#because of relatively more important position and getting Curly to have doubts about him as a power play and Curly knows Jimmy well enough#that him immediately exerting his authority and power would set him off after already having been mad about it and even when doing#damage control it still set him off. like its the horror of accidenlty siding with your oppresser and hurting other like you only to then b#stabbed in the back again by the person who took advantage of your nature like its so complext but my actual trans curly headcanons#are just a little bit happier like i imagine he was the first on the boys soccer team and a star player. maybe he and jimmy even picked ou#his first offical “boy” clothes and Jimmy picked most so he looked like the grungiest white boy but she was a boy so it didn't matter cause#it was with his friend who accepted him and I bet on the bed he looks back at all those moments and notices the little details that his#friend wasnt actually so happy but he can't be certain when he started looking so bitter or hes just imagining out of paranoia cause he jus#cant know and even if he could he wouldn't want to ask like god thinking about Anya and probably being a little glad if not heartbroken#that she did get out of it in the end like trans curly and anya destroy me even more its so upsetting like he didn't realize how much he go#you girl and waited to act like it was cowardice but then would she not realize what hes realizing? should that be a grace or more of a#condemnation in her mind like what are her thoughts? espically during the scene Jimmy hits Curly like she had to hear and what did she thin#they are tormented in a similar hells with the same demon and its fascinating#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
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These two lines in the movie make me the most mentally unwell.
"I should have been the one to go. You needed your mother more than you needed me."
The amount of layers to this, oh my god. He's blaming himself for being alive. He probably wants to die. He genuinely thinks Adrian needs Emilie more.
And it's been YEARS since Emilie's passed away. Look how tiny Adrian is over there, he only just about comes about the bedpost. Gabriel still looks like he did in the pictures of when Adrian was little. It's been literal years. It could have literally been a full decade ago.
And Gabriel breaks the narrative here. He's supposed to be telling a story, he's supposed to be saying what happened in the past. But at this point, he doesn't say "your mother was taken from us" or anything like that referencing Emilie's passing. The story breaks, he's using a statement. I should have been the one to go. It's completely out of the story, because he isn't saying what he felt then, there's no "I felt like I should have been the one to go". It's just "I should have been."
Because he still thinks this. It's been about a decade, and his opinion, his feelings about this, is still "I should have died". It interrupts his storytelling because of how strongly he feels this way, almost like it's a fact to him.
And then he follows it with "You needed your mother more than you needed me." Again, he says this like it's a fact, like Adrian actually did need his mother more. Because he believes it himself. And this could be because of so many things. It could be because of the way people consider the mother to be the one supposed to care for the children much more than the father, or it could be that Gabriel himself didn't see how much Adrian needed him, or even that Gabriel didn't see himself as useful to Adrian. Especially because he said he should have been the one to die. He's essentially saying he was useless. That he was expendable but Emilie wasn't. He literally is implying he doesn't see any worth in himself regarding being a father.
And then it's not just his grief, it's Adrian's grief that has him desperate to bring Emilie back. He literally doesn't care about himself, he wants his son to be happy and doesn't see himself as able to do that. He loves him to the point of being suicidal and self-sacrificing if it would give Adrian what he need, all while simultaneously not seeing himself as what Adrian needs because he doesn't think he has that much worth regarding him.
#it is one am and i am on my shit#Gabriel agreste has made me so insane about him ever since i first watched the show#like he's unironically been my favourite character. probably because i wasn't able to watch the full level of his bullshit in the show#movie gabriel is exactly the character i wanted/envisioned gabriel to be and the redemption was exactly what i wanted#and i will randomly remember the movie exists and die inside when i remember this scne#and don't get me started on how many times he tightened his grip around adrian when hugging him oh my god#this man was so convinced he couldnt make adrian happy himself he didnt see that Adrian was slowly recovering on his own#and the fact that Adrian wasnt even angry he just understood he knew and he hugged him oh my god#adrian had finally learnt to let go and now he wanted his dad to let go too-and dont get me started on how he calls gabriel dad#also “you have to let her go” maybe its not just Emilie herself he meant but the idea of her and what she meant#like the idea that emilie was perfect emilie is what adrian needed that gabriel is nothing next to her#aughhhhhdhhshsjsjsshsh im going insaneeee#miraculous awakening#miraculous ladybug#miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir#miraculous movie#gabriel agreste#adrian agreste#chat noir#hawkmoth#hawk moth
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I've been reading Exodus lately and I've just gotten to the portions where God gives the first commands to the people via Moses (twice), and then goes on to give detailed instructions about the tabernacle and how it should be built, and I'm just... we think art is unimportant?? we think things only mean as much as their functionality?? we so easily fall into the trap of believing that beauty means nothing, that it's cheap and only worth whatever mindless distraction it brings, that it's barely more than a cheap sensual thrill, that buildings should just be practical and plain and cheap, that everything should be functional but ultimately disposable, that paintings and dresses and mugs and curtains and carpets are just pretty but have no real value, that beauty is fleeting and vain and therefore shouldn't be thought about too much, if even looked for at all... we fall into these traps so easily, and we forget that there are chapters upon chapters of painstakingly detailed plans to build one portable worship tent, and those plans have been handed down through thousands of years of human history, because beauty and art and skill in craft is important
#I have to go get ready for work now but I will come back to this#and don't even get me started on the parts about God calling specific craftsmen *by name*#he called them!! by name!!! he said 'this man is good at his job. he creates beautiful work. he will build my temple and make it beautiful'#and even more--God inspired him!!!! it was a calling of GOD for him to create beautiful carvings and tapestries and candlesticks!!!#look even if you're not jewish or christian or religious at all you have GOT to see what it means that all these incredibly detailed plans#for building this tent-temple are extremely important#because even if you don't believe in God and don't think that this is all significant bc he personally gave the instructions#and then helped preserve this record of them so we could still read them today#you do have to see how important they were to the people of that time who first wrote them down#and the extreme care that was taken to record all of those detail#AND the fact that it's been preserved for so long and we can still read all the care that was put into creating this incredible piece#of artwork and worship they made#gurt says stuff#I just. gahhfhhfj. I'm feeling emotional about chapters of the Bible that I can't even fully force myself to pay attention to#bc there's so MUCH and I'm bad at visualizing this stuff and I tend to zone out while listening to it#but the fact that it IS that much!!! that there SO MUCH DETAIL and it goes on for SO LONG that I even struggle to pay attention!!!#that this was THAT IMPORTANT to the people who wrote it and to God!!! as an artist and someone who has always cared about art#this means so much to me ok#christianity#bible verse#bible thoughts#exodus#art#theology
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fuck dude i love god troubles me so much because all the characters are fucking losers. none of them are cool. none. protagonist, chosen one, child of a god and monster? she's literally a one in a million failure. cringefail girloser. she's poor, she's lazy, she's an icon. threw a guy into the stratosphere twice and then cried in a haunted house. the pretty, powerful looking immortal? moron. malewife. pathetic with his cunty little outfit. never had a full thought in his life. he's a phone btw. the aloof, standoffish "cool guy", strongest in the Monster realm? he only cares about video games and cat food (he's a cat). idiot. prefers to remain as a cat 90% of the time so he doesn't have to do things. can't cook. they're all insane. nearly defeated by 3 bugs and a rat. whatever
#god troubles me#hanhua riji#don't get me started on the food god land god whatever#he's such a loser#he's drinking his little tea#can't do shit bcs it's not in his department#has to get carried around by 4 dwarfs#shut up#the ac? professional bootlicker#nothing smooth about him#i love them so much its insane
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"I always thought of you as made of moonlight. Because of that first night." i'm going insane. oh my god.
they're making me cry over llamas again guys. i'm in tears because of llamas.
#look the thing that really drives me crazy is that they both genuinely love each other.#paul stayed around far longer than he should have#and the emotion in his voice when carl came back to see him?? my god#paul loved carl so much and it tore him apart to see carl being someone so awful because he knew he'd have to leave.#and like. don't even get me STARTED on carl#carl goes against every law that's ever been made but still says “i'm sorry if this violates your restraining order”#he's genuinely awful but he does so much to try and make paul happy. he's destroyed when paul leaves#he HALLUCINATES paul still talking to him#oh my goddddd i'm insane i'm insane#these llamas will be the death of me................#literally in tears over the epilogue my god#llamas with hats#luna says stuff
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#my little brother is engaged :/#don’t know if any of you remember me posting about the whole situation like 8 months ago but i feel soo weird#and sad because i want to b happy for him but he’s six yrs older than her and she’s 19..#or i guess twenty now maybe whatever i feel so aggh. and he moved to a different country so i just feel like i’m never gonna see him again#like i knew this was coming they’re both super religious so i was like yeah they’re going to want to get married and have kids fast but.#it just feels crazy. i know that’s selfish but i have such a bad gut feeling about it that i can’t shake#but i can’t do anything about it so. idk. i just feel so lonely when things like this happen because i don't have anyone outside of the#family bubble to talk to about it. and obviously everyone else is like super happy for them. and it's not that i don't like her! i just#don't really? know her? at all which feels weird because we are a very close sibling group and i feel like i know & get on with my other#siblings' partners. i think it's partly like i just don't ever hang around people who are under twenty so she feels really young to me#which isn't her fault obviously but. do feel kind of scared for her getting married at twenty so she can start having babies.... idk idk#and obviously on top of that it's my younger brother so it does feel a little salt in the wound that he's moving on with his life and i am#counting it a win these days if i don't want to kms every three minutes#god it just sucks lol and i can't talk about it 2 anyone so i am venting here
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I can't believe Felix spent so long as my bias just for bangchan to bias wreck him so hard, and now that I've finally accepted bangchan as my bias, Hyunjin is coming out of nowhere and starting to bias wreck😭 HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE THEY'RE ALL AMAZING
#It literally started today#All of a sudden he was there#Listen I'm never leaving my man Christopher#But by God can't I just have all of them as my bias??#It's not like I don't love all of them#I just die whenever I get a glimpse of bangchan#Right now bangchan is my husband and Hyunjin is my best friend#BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO FELIX I MISS HIM#Skz#Stray kids#Screw biases#They're all my bias now#“who's your bias?”#Me: yes#Bangchan#hyunjin#lee felix#Seungmin#Jeongin#Changbin#Lee know#han jisung
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Izuku bounces on his feet as Kacchan steps off the platform, unable to keep the smile off his face as red eyes catch sight of him. He waves, a tad manically.
"Kacchan!" He yells, ignoring the looks he gets. "Over here!"
Kacchan is followed over by several other, familiar looking people. A man that can only be Chargebolt leans forward.
"Oho! Who's this?"
"My pet stalker."
"Kacchan, that's not very nice," Izuku says absently.
Kacchan ruffles Izuku's hair with more force than necessary.
"I'm not very nice."
"That is true!" Chargebolt grins, stroking his chin faux-thoughtfully.
"So," Kacchan says next. "What's new in nerd-land?"
"Oh! Um, well... Did you read that paper I sent you?"
"That thing on fuckin' Freezerburn?"
"Yeah, about the indicators! Like how you've got your mom's skin-"
"I don't want to hear about my mom's skin." Kacchan groans.
Too bad.
"- Your mom's skin" Izuku continued, "as well as your quirk in your palms and-"
Izuku cuts himself off this time. Red Riot (his hair's not that bad, Kacchan) is waving his hand in the air like a student. So was the Alien Queen, with a shit-eating grin on her face, and then Chargebolt also started to flail about and nearly hit-
"Oh my god! Are you Cellophane?!"
"Not if he knows what's good for him." Kacchan mutters.
"It's an honour to meet you! I'm a big fan! I really loved what you did last week in that fight with Athenium- actually, um, wait, I think I have-"
He starts to rummage through his bag, but Kacchan is faster and snatches his notebook out with a hiss.
"No. They don't know you. We're not doing this."
"Kacchan." Izuku frowns.
"No."
Red Riot seems unable to contain himself any longer.
"Bakubro, who is this guy?" he shouts, at the same time as Alien Queen cheers.
"This must be that guy that Katsuki's always-"
Kacchan whirls around and slaps Izuku's notebook over her mouth, because he is an oaf with no respect for other people or their property. Izuku is what, Kacchan?
Whatever. Izuku brought extra notebooks today, just in case. He pulls one out, and a pen, and then Cellophane takes the pen? And Izuku's notebook? Oh, he's signing the notebook, that's nice of him.
"Here you go," Cellophane smiles, handing it back.
Izuku already has three Cellophane signatures that Kacchan mailed to him through Auntie, because Kacchan is the best but also weird, but this is cool too. Izuku will have to cut it out and paste it in his album later.
What he actually wants to know is-
"Um, what's your name? I can't call you Cellophane when you're on vacation..." He flips open to a new page, ready to start writing...
The silence stretches too long. He looks up to find Cellophane looking at him uncertainly.
"Actually..." Cellophane starts slowly-
"That's what we wanna ask you!" Chargebolt shouts excitedly, and then Kacchan steals Izuku's notebook, again, and his bag, and Izuku has more important things to worry about than social niceties.
"Bakugou Katsuki!" he screeches. "Get back here!"
He starts running after Kacchan, who must have lost his mind on the train ride over if he thinks Izuku is going to let him get away with this. He'll tell Auntie! He will!
Auntie will just laugh at him if Izuku tells her that Kacchan has taken up purse-snatching but she'll laugh at Kacchan too, and then Kacchan will be really annoyed, just like Izuku is right now, and he's taking up running as a hobby first thing tomorrow because he's tired now already and curse Kacchan's longer legs, Izuku is going to cut them off-
They leave the Bakusquad blinking in their dust.
#bnha#izuku midoriya#midoriya izuku#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugou#mha#bakusquad#the start (of something beautiful. obviously)#katsuki would like for izuku to meet his friends. to prove he has them you damn nerd.#he does have friends. they are not his minions stop sending him those horrible despicable me edits izuku i swear to god.#katsuki does not. repeat does NOT. want his friends to meet izuku. fuck you he has perfectly good taste in men.#izuku's just a bit much to inflict on an unsuspecting anybody on a first meeting is all. he's fine after he gets it out of his system.#solution. take the notebooks and run.#somehow this will end with his mother teasing him ruthlessly but more importantly mina will not get any more ammunition#izuku is just like. all according to keikaku#right up until kacchan books it with the bookbag#izuku has some nerve calling katsuki weird but also if izuku wanted to give you something he would just hand it over rather than#playing charades with his mother who is going along with this just to see how far he'll push it#so brat. when are you going to man up and take that kid out on a date?#shut up! shut up! shut up!#he gets enough of this crap from mina ffs#oh so you don't want this delivered then?#!!!!! old hag!!!!#bakudeku
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