#god why are you doing this to our poor pepe

[httpiastri]

my heart is breaking

[marvel-and-dc-geek]

Thor: Record of Ragnarok

Chapter 8

And now, very special words from two great heroes

-well, dear reader, you might be wondering : why haven't I seen her incredible cousin beat up some dumb god ?- a beautiful, big and green skinned woman spoke - oh common on honey, flattery isn't going to save you of this...but thank you, anyways !

-es una respuesta sencilla, pero pasa que escribir es difícil, y la vida es una pe - an incredibly amazing mercenary tried to say, but hey, we also need to put the story in a site that doesn't allow a lot of cursing- ay ya ! Dire lo que se me pegue la regalada gana !-

-Wade, why are you speaking Spanish ?- She-Hulk, aka Jennifer Walters, questioned, as it would be harder for most readers to understand this chapter - dear, I think they figured out who am I already - which was...true

—mis diálogos son más graciosos en español: que no viste todas las plantillas para momazos que tengo ?Hoy seré Piscina de la Muerte, no Deadpool- Wade answered, tho it could be better if he didn't use that word - ay ya cállate, sabes que el fandom latino tiene muchos chistes buenos como para hacerme decir cosas en inglés...además con mi sexy voz de Pepe Toño, necesitas que no tenga la voz del papasote de Ryan Reynolds - he said in a quite long sentence

—anyways !- the Green haired woman interrupted - it's ironic that you write like the Greeks, considering what you did to poor Apolo, but I'll let it pass: we need to give a special announcement - as if that wasn't specified already

-ya ya, deja que nos encarguemos : la bruja baratuja es la única que ha peleado en toda la p*t4 historia, quizá debamos decir por wue - just in case, the bad word was censored - hija de la Ching-

-stop it you two !- Jennifer angrily commented - a lot has happened since this story was last updated: for starters, my ugly show with PS2 wasn't out yet- because let's face it, She-Hulk wasn't a good show

-cuando se empezó esta historia, en primer lugar, Buda no le había soltado sus pootazos al Hajun - sorry, Wade, but it's for our own good - si si, como sea ! Bueno en que estaba ? Ah si, tampoco el sabroso del Pinchi Juan había aparecido para desafiar a Hades por el uso de su silla - a good fight, which Qin did deserve to win

-Hades should have won: while I know China had nothing to do on that decision - because being honest, it was less beneficial for the authors, as some of its target public really didn't like that - yes yes, I know, but I understand why you need to add that...anyways, the fight was unfair! -

-Gua gua gua, pues ya ni modo: seguro ahorita alguien viene a decirnos que fue guionazo- the based Merc with a Mouth replied - gracias, querida autora ! Donde estaba ? Ah si: y además, la historia estaba escribiéndose antes de que el Moscas y Tesla también empezarán a pelear, cosa que también ha afectado un poco a la hora de escribir esta madre -

-it's not fair to make us argue about that, you will just make one of us look good only because you were Team Qin- the also based She-Hulk made sure to remind - and as Wade said: two more fights have begun after the story was first published: that's complicated things a bit for sure - a bit was an understatement

-entonces, de momento, solo aguarden para el siguiente capítulo: por suerte, ver la pelea del guapote del pajas locas...digo Shiva, que es el husbando para la autora, aunque ella era team Raiden- I know I Wade, I freaking cried seeing the damn fight, more than when I read it - si, ya se ! Ay que muchachita tan llorona : esa pelea, y la de Jack Vs Heracles (que aunque Heracles parecía salido de los openings de CGI de Jojo's, estuvo bien GOD) hicieron que la autorcita querida quiera seguir el fic-

-in any case, she has the continuation for the chapter after my cousin fights - What Wade said could technically be filler, as not all readers will get it, so Jennifer is here to provide the important information. For my friends who don't know English tho, he also gives some important stuff - so just hang up for a bit more, and read this special chapter: we will discuss some points that the author felt the need to address -

-créanle a la Jen, la pelea de Hulk vs Se- no spoilers, Wade - Ching4 tu madre !- the Merc said angrily. While they spoke, the Canadian was looking for all weapons he could find in the house (which they are sharing for plot purposes ) while Jennifer was working out, looking hot as always

-you know, if you were a male author, this could be considered sexist -dead Jennifer kindly pointed out, I apologize - oh it's okay dear, Marvel has done worse. Anyways, our first point : which universe is this ?-

-el universo 13370, donde todo es igual, salvo que Iron Man es un escorpión de Durango - Wade could be right, except that Tony is still a human here - bueno, es casi lo mismo no ? Ni tú sabes de donde agarras las cosas, señorita "Odio Thor 3 pero aún así uso personajes de allí "-....

-this isn't set in a clear universe: it takes elements of Earth-8096 (which is her favorite marvel earth, as it has some of her favorite cartoons ), mixed them with stuff from earth 616, our main universe- which is important to clear up -Earth-199999, aka the MCU, aka a source of conflict and mixed feelings for a lot of people, author included, also made its way here. Lastly, it has some personal head canons - Jennifer explained - and of course, it's also set on the events of Shuumatsu no Valkyrie, or as some call to, Record of Ragnarok - considering it's in the title, that's something that goes without saying

-en resumen, para los que quizá no sepan mucho de Marvel, o solo no hablen inglish: es una mezcla del Yostverse, del universo principal de cómics de marvel, y de las películas del CU...dijo, UCM- yes Wade, nice saving - , algunas alucinaciones de la autora, y pues claro, es un pequeño crossover con Shuumatsu no Valkyrie, o Récord of ragnarok pa los demás - he finished his summary

-now, the gods: it goes without saying that they are the source of conflict here - Jennifer went to look for an important book

-estoy dioses del SNV no han de haber tenido amantes mortales: digo, por que Zeus o Afrodita querrían destruir la especie que conforman el 90% de sus amantes ? - good question, provided by Wade Wilson

-manga wise, we know that demigods, as we understand them from Greek and Norse mythology, aren't exactly a thing- Jennifer opened what turned out to be a manga, specifically a SNV manga. The volume was just what was needed: Jack the Ripper Vs Heracles, or Hercules, as the Romans made us know - both Heracles and Achilles weren't said to be demigods. If you know your Greek myth basics, this is a huge thing: Heracles was the son of Zeus and Alcmene, while Achilles was born out of the marriage of Tetis and the mortal Peleus. If they aren't our regular demigods, there are good chances there are no other ones as well -plus, the Valkyries also don't seem to be that type of demigods-

-saben cuantas veces aparecía Zeus en el árbol genealógico de Heracles ? Muchas, muchísimas : Heracles era tataranieto, hijo, y yerno de Zeus - the merc did some gagging noises - pero aquí, es adoptado, como Loki- cruel Wade, Cruel

Jenn also tried not to show some disgust- speaking of Loki, and well, of Thor, here goes another thing that might need clear up; the pantheons - very important, true - Marvel has most of the same pantheons than SNV has showed, but the gods are vastly different : just check out this story's protagonist ! Snv Thor couldn't be more different than ours : quiet, friendless, neutral towards humans, and slightly more aggressive - things that could be shocking for a first time reader

-y gay, definitivamente gay: no viste como se puso con Lu Bu ? Aquí hay amooooor, aquí hay amoooor - Wade, I ship them too, but it's not the time - tiene más sentido que el Loki x Hermes que pusiste ! Me borraste la Otp, con un caraj0! Y ni siquiera pones el Rudra x Shiva, que son más canon que Mefisto en el ucm - I wanted to put them I swear, I just don't know where

-we can fight about ships later - She-Hulk interrupted as she returned the manga back to the shelf - Loki, as you can see, is also not the one from the show, as he has black hair...or raven hair, as the story likes to write : the gods in here, except for the entire Norse pantheon and some of the Egyptians, are the same ones of SNV. That means that, for example, the Heracles we lost wasn't the dear teammate than Wade and I have fought along with - and who totally hooked up with Jen, tho his MCU casting is questionable at best

-aun así, fue una gran pérdida: era un tremendo papucho, con un rostro tallado por Los Ángeles...- Wade commented while nearly crying, as he hugged a Heracles plushie...wait, where did it come from?- lo compre en el Valhalla, antes de que los dioses se lloraran e hicieran un altar con todos los que quedaban - ah, makes sense.

-Jack deserved to win anyways, stupid Tebans-Jen mumbled angrily, in the end that someone was of the popular agreement that they were pricks - back on topic: characters like Foresetti and the crows had to sadly be removed, as they didn't quite fit - yes, what a great lost

-JA, TÓMALA, CUATR OJOS TRAGA PIT*S- yes Wade, I also dislike that prick ! But don't celebrate too loud - como no? Si ese estaba a nada de ponerse de rodillas y chuparle el Mjolnir a Thor...bueno, yo igual lo haría - same Wade, same

-this is why the gods voted to exterminate us - Jennifer put a hand on her face, sighing after that, then pulled out a convenient marvel guide - up next: why are only the avengers going? And why THOSE avengers ?-she questioned, obviously not pleased

-si, autorcita: pudimos ver a la Jen pelear contra las tetotas , de Afrodita, desnudas las dos, con aceite...-...you know Wade, maybe you are right...but it's not THAT kind of story, plus it would be a bit unfair

She-Hulk slightly smacked Wade -being fair isn't a priority here, but let let's see some characters outside the Avengers team of this story that could have gone : first, Mr Immortal - straight of 3 AM thoughts I see

-una vez mate a ese tipo - Wade laughed- en la primera Civil War, cuanto pelee contra los Great Lake Avengers - and that's exactly why he isn't here

-Mr Immortal, while he is not able to permanently die, can be declared dead: it can't be done like with the Zeus vs Adam fight in which Zeus wasn't really dead - Jennifer began to explain

- GUIONAZO, GUIONAZO!- Wade interrumpted, as he used the favorite word of certain group of fans - tú que vas a saber? Te peleas contra los fans de Adán cuando dicen que no le gana a Shiva, ni quien te entienda - I know Wade, I know

-Anyways - said the green haired beauty, who looked like she was going to smack Wade, and no anyone else pleadedonthitme - you are making it hard... but it's simple: Mr Immortal does die. He simply comes back, no matter how painful it is. Add to that that he lacks any other ability, and we are in for a quick disaster - gods could be pissed if they didn't get a challenge, after all

-Pobre padre, dio todo por su familia - Wade was yet sad again, but it couldn't be blamed as Adam totally deserved that victory- quiero ir a vengarlo!- the Merc went for his katana

She-Hulk grabbed him, just in case -wow hold up body, we already have two other katana-wearing fighters - she reminded to the very pissed off mercenary- that also reminds me of why you aren't a fighter here - yes please, I also wanted to point that out

-es injusto verdad ?yo ya he matado dioses antes, en Deapools Kills the Marvel Universe, y en Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe again - he said the last part bitterly - desvivi al pobre hijastro paquidermo de la autora, y a muchos dioses. Quizá estoy muy roto - and that's why

-yes, exactly - Jen agreed - you CAN'T be killed, at all. That means you would need a more experimented writer. The most OP character in this story, marvel wise, is the scarlet witch, yet she is the nerfed MCU version. Characters like Sue Storm, several of the x-men, Sentry and the like, who don't have an adaptation, can be a hard challenged - she explained - I am not there for a simple reason; my cousin is there, and I also don't want to get there if I can't meet Raiden - oh Jen, you have good taste

-ese habría aguantado tus tremendos sentones sin duda - Wade wished good luck to the fighter and his beautiful girlfriend, wherever they were - no es justo autora, hubieras dejado que Loki dejara a Shiva como un pincho , como le hicieron a Narancia en los Jojos - auch Wade, auch

-see, that wouldn't work sadly: not only he is protected by the power of being the author's favorite, but he is important for the story...which brings us to another question: erasing Odin, as we know it, will also be hard to make up for - and as always, She-Hulk was right

-Uy si, ese viejo sabroso se trae algo entre manos sin dudas...f por la autora, compensar eso en la historia será difícil - agh...hey guys, I think we covered up all that I wanted to say: can you tell us your favorite fights ? And maybe fighters, from both the gods and from the humans

-sure ! We are doing it Manga wise, only tho, to be fair - Jennifer had a good idea, honestly - I have two favorite fights: Jack vs Heracles was amazing to watch. Jack surely tricked us all, even Loki and Hermes, two trickster gods. It's a shame we don't get to know if it worked with our Loki - it was too much work, too much freaking work - and, just like the author, I loved the Shiva vs Raiden fight: I do love me a good old strength fight - good choices, both

- oye, hablando de Shiva Vs Raiden: tu primo habría sido un buen sustituto para Raiden, no?- pregunto Wade

- Yes, but don't dare to mention the Old Man Logan storyline - cool, story, but creepy, Jen is right again - Hulk's regeneration factor would've been a huge counter to Shiva's Tandava Karma. While I'm not sure what is Kara going to give him as a Volund, the truth is that Prour would've done wonders if they worked together - and they were almost the same size, funny enough

And as you might have guessed, Jen's favorite fighter is...- Raiden, for sure !- She-Hulk chuckled - not only is he hot as heck, but did you see what a pure heart that guy has? And how he treated his beloved ? - agreed, a good choice for a fighter

- aunque era furro, pero uno de buen gusto - Wade estuvo de acuerdo - y cuál es tu Dios favorito ?-

- Hades, for sure - Jennifer said glaring at Wade, possibly only at him - let's not start to fight if Qin's victory was fair, it won't be pretty- alright, let's not touch that subject

And no, let's hear Wade !- saben? Mi pelea favorita también tiene a mi luchador humano favorito: Sasaki! - good choice too!-ya se verdad ? Uff, viejo sabroso...ademas nada le gana a unas buenas katanas . Su perseverancia fue hermosa de ver, incluso le perdono a los animadores por haberse gastado el presupuesto de las peleas en la suya-

- most of season one's budget went to two big things, and that wasn't one of them - She-Hulk could tell, everyone could tell, to where that budget went

- ah, que animadores tan flojos - even Wade knew that boobs weren't that vital to keep up the show -de los dioses...si bien Poseidón es un hermoso pedazo de sushi, debo de decir que prefiero a su hermano - Hades, obviously - Que? No!Zeus !- no one even bothered to recall Adamas, fair enough tho

- Makes sense, you two will screw anything with a hole - tho Wade, as Jenn knew, had more limits to that. He was pansexual after all, but not a pervert

-ese hijo de put4 es muy gracioso - again, he had to be censored - pero si a los diosesitos se les ocurre destruir a la humanidad...- the Merc was playing with his katana

- we won't let that happen: they are in our universe, we have how to defend ourselves - She-Hulk was right: unlike in record of ragnarok, marvel humans can kill a god without powers

-Faltan años para que este fic y el Manga termine , pero tengo una petición: envía a Sentry contra Ares, eso será divertido - and unfair as well, as Wade surely knew

It seemed as it was almost time to leave these two alone...

- ah, nada de eso: mi amigo acá quiere reclamarle algunas cosas a la autora !- Wade said as he opened the door to reveal a handsome young man with white hair and red eyes...Wait a moment

-yeah, it's me ! The awesome Prussia ! But you can call me Gilbert, as that's my name in the other unfinished story that this lazy fraulein has pending !- the white haired country who shouldn't be in this said, as if he didn't knew that the author knows that it's not nice to call a girl like that - ah right, your friend told you-

- what is he doing here, Wade ? That guy is from Hetalia - Jennifer was puzzled too

- La autora tiene otra historia pendiente, el venía a reclamarle - the author had already tried to finish that story, be patient, man

-nein! The awesome me wants you to finish our story too! Mein little brother and little Peter deserve it - Gilbert had a point, unfortunately

- let's go prepare, just in case: there's three scenarios that can be possible here, and two require us to fight. For the god’s sake, they better no allow those two scenarios to happen,’or else - She-Hulk grabbed them both, maybe that guy could be useful...no, he was going back to his story for sure. - oh, and we aren’t going to use our manga knowledge for this: it’s kind of OP-

-vamos por chimichangas primero! Quizá la pelea del Doomtard supremo vs cierto lindo gatito salga antes de que Buda le parta la cara a Hajun- Don't spoil it for the anime onlys !- les dijiste que Shiva ganaba, no tienes derecho a reclamar ! Pero, que quiero invitar a Buda a comer chimichangas con nosotros. Tenemos la misma y sensual voz - in the Latin dub, which the author doesn't watch, while Jenn preferred the English dub

The two heroes (and Wade's unexpected guest ) left , in what is a surprisingly long chapter...

And before it officially ended, a very handsome Canadian mercenary appeared yet again - ahora que la autora se fue, les daré un pequeño spoiler: Thor va a pelear, eventualmente - he chuckled a bit - contra alguien que hará esa pelea muy difícil, de manera personal. Todo depende de que tanto la autora quiera tragarse su odio hacia las películas de Taika Waitti, o de que tan importante sea cierto tuerto para la historia original. Esto es para ustedes, amiguitos que hablan español! No traduzcan o tendré problemas...y por último, recuerden : Este Hogar apoya a Tesla en su pelea contra el Moscas, creemos en la ciencia !- and so he left, as he also had to help his newfound friend get back to his own story

[devilsrecreation]

Thoughts on Muppet Fairy Tales part 4: (last one)

Bella Thorn, the Sleeping Beauty:

Yes, I know it’s a story, but the fact that Big Mean Carl is married to Mean Mama is hilarious to me, since I hc him as aro/ace (how can he not be?)

WHY IS WALLEYE PIKE HERE?!?!😂😂😂 AS IN THE MUPPIRATE, THE BACKGROUND CHARACTER! MY FISH BOY IS IN THIS STORY? WHY?🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Also I read Walleye’s rhyming prophesy in his voice and I’m proud of it

And he gets eaten....big surprise

Just sitting here how a monster and a bunny-bear hybrid thing could create a rat (which is our girl, Yolanda btw!)

What the fu-Camilla is Maleficent?....ok...giving Piggy a break

I love how Camilla’s yelling (squawking) just confused everybody

#goodparenting by Carl. Makes me wonder how good he is with kids irl

“as young Yolanda grew up, for she turned out to be modest, good-natured, and an excellent gnawer, and everyone who saw her was bound to fall for her”-cuz she a QUEEN

Apparently, Yolanda is having a quinceñera....I had no idea she was Hispanic (prolly not)

So...Camilla let Yolanda prick her finger and it says here that she “let loose a creepy cackle and disappeared”.....how the hell does a chicken cackle? What does that sound like?

WHOOO! STRANGEPORK IS MENTIONED IN THE STORY LET’S GOOOO

ANOTHER WHOOOO! RIZZO’S HERE!

Ooh yay! Fozzie’s in here!

I wonder how Carl really felt about spooning with Mean Mama? He probably hated every minute of it

Aaand just like the others, they get married after knowing each other for two seconds

Clueless Trades a Turtle:

The fact that Clueless has his own story, man. He deserves this moment

I know Clueless is lazy, but he’s getting tired of taking out his turtle?....IT’S A TURTLE

Me, after reading Clueless is gonna marry his neighbor, Dorothy: Lmao look at Clueless pretending to be straight

“She was the type that’d stand near a ketchup bottle and wait for an earthquake”-BRUH😂😂😂

“Those two turtles disturb our best sleep every morning with their inaudible movements and inconvenient need to eat”-honestly, Dorothy just hates turtles

Oh god no. Animal and Clueless are in the same story....this can’t go well

*after reading that Animal’s clearly gonna eat the turtles and Clueless trades them anyway* OH NO I WAS RIGHT

“Husband, chill”-I dunno why, but I like that phrase. It’s the same as “Honey, calm the f down”

Clueless be turning into Zoot at the end of the story. Fell asleep in seconds

No turtles were harmed in the making of this story.....I hope

Pepe and Polly:

The illustration to this one looks VERY promising....cuz I see three of my fav muppets

Of course Waldorf and Statler are in here. Of course! Who else as the parents in this story

“We’re not eating our kids. This isn’t Game of Thrones...”- *WHEEZE*

Damn Waldorf. You’re so dark

According to Waldorf, Pepe misbehaves like crazy (facts) and Polly is apparently the stupid one (excuse you, Polly’s smart)

Also, since Pepe “gets paddled more than a canoe”, why am I imagining he’d like it?

“I dunno. He kinda grows on you”

“So do warts”

And this is why I love W and S. SAVAGE

I like how Statler has some consious and cares for Pepe and Polly. It’s sweet

Awww. Now I’m picturing Polly giving himself a self-pity hug🥺🥺🥺🥺

Ah, the classic insult. “You failed at raising a Tomagachi, how the hell are you gonna take care of a pet?”

Waldorf, you suck at excuses

“Polly always wanted a cracker”—No kidding, sherlock

OBJECTION! In this story, Polly says he lost his other claw while spinning a wheel on the game show “The Price Is Right”, but in the encyclopedia, Polly lost his other claw in a fight. SO HIS TESTIMONY IS FALSE! (I’ve been watching too much Ace Attorney)

Sam is in here? Okay. Makes sense. He IS a bird

There is a vending machine in the forest.....okay

DEADLY’S IN ANOTHER STORY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WHOOOOHOOO! I mean, he’s the witch, but SCREW IT!

I love how crackers are Polly’s weakness. The minute someone mentions “cracker”, he’s in

“I’m going to have to cook?!?”- Mood

Polly knew Deadly’s British but gumbo (which Deadly’s planning to make using Pepe) is Cajun. See? What a smart boy!

Of course Pepe used the candy cane as his finger (tail) method! Cuz he clever

DEADLY SINGING “Les Poisson” IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER READ!

👏👏👏👏Polly, once again, shows he’s smarter than W and S say he is! Poor Deadly, though

Polly is honestly such a mood in this book

Pretty cool that Sam came back for these two!

Aww, how nice! They’re getting revenge on those geezers by buying their own place and making noise!

Ah, poor Deadly....again. But hey! Nice reference to the other book he was in!

Overall, my favorite story in here! And interesting seeing them as friends when I hc they’re really rivals

[flashfuture]

Franklin finally bringing the rose bush to life and he just starts laughing because “gods FINALLY!” Though I don’t think people are around for it, but I can imagine they are walking out in New York one day and they see a poor animal who just passed away from the cold like a dog or cat and Franklin just picks it up and brings the little guy back to life and asks if they can bring it to a non kill shelter and everyone else is railing at the life equation in action. Though I feel like Val is like “is this why you have all those plants in your room and curse out mom’s rose bush.” Franklin is so sure someday he’ll be able to save whole planets someday. OKAY BUT IMAGINE THO THE RICHARDS-STORM-GRIM FAMILY HAVE DEATH THUMBS WHEN IT COMES TO PLANTS EXCEPT FRANKLIN BUT HE IS ALSO A GOD LIKE MUTANT SO ITS NOT FAIR.

Franklin with his dramatic ass prose and pictures trying to create a Pepe Silva like mood board to make a spider web map of the multiverse, it’s really a complicated pintrest mood board for all the universes he wants to visit, he asks Peter all types of questions. Asking id he’s seen the end of the known universe he’s seen one once but it wasn’t this universe.

Reed asking if there is a life equation is their a “non life equation” and Franklin knows this is his dad being funny but he’s sorta like “anti-life equation but yeah. It’s bad stuff.”

Alicia can easily take Franklin to art museums with her and she’s so happy to have another artist in the family even if she is sadden she cannot totally see the galaxies he’s drawn but to hear Ben or Franklin describe them she fully believes she can “see” them too and THATS the power of art baby.

If the FF met Kyle tho, I bet he accidentally make a weird first impression due to basically entering through the universes back door or through boom-tube. Franklin’s motherbox would soooo sinch on him for loosing her a bunch, tho.

I like the implication that Franklin can bring back anything but those stupid roses.

But yes yes Franklin’s room being filled to the brim with plants. Damian Wayne gets to rescue animals of all kinds and Franklin Richards gets plants from all over the universe.

And Reed and Val want to test the plants that are brought back to life but Franklin always catches them and teleports the plants away. They start to think the plants are snitching (they are) and let it go

Reed and Val become uncomfortably interested in the anti-life equation. And when Uncle Doom starts calling more Franklin shuts down any and all discussions of it. His family is scary sometimes and he’s the one with the god like powers.

Oh yeah Pete did see a universe collapse once alongside Miles. (Marvel is so bad about deciding who remembers the reality altering events) and Peter has seen the web stretching across all the of the universes.

Peter and Franklin compare the web watch tech that allows the spiders to universe hop and the mother boxes. Eerily similar in build but the Mother Box is alive. Where the web watches draw on the spider life force.

It’s all very weird and Franklin promises not to tell his dad because Peter really can’t let anyone else know what the spiders get up to. (Seriously there are like yearly blowouts with giant spider armies and no one seems to know a thing)

Franklin would absolutely love it if Kyle came to visit. And yes that dork would make just the worst first impression. Like booms in during a massive fight and everyone he thinks he’s the threat but like you can’t really take out Kyle. And Thor is the strongest of the bunch but he’s not there that day so Kyle freaks them all out.

But once everything is all cleared up everyone immediately loves Kyle because that’s like the law.

Also the mother box snitching on Franklin is everything. But Kyle doesn’t really do stern. Luckily for him Sue Storm does.

Also also Franklin meeting the other lanterns would be adorable

“So what Rayner is he like your little brother?”

“I mean like I guess”

“Well that makes him ours”

“Not really how that works”

But it is how is works. And Hal suddenly has two god like children, yes he thinks of Kyle like a child, to fret over. This is what’s gonna make him go grey, again.

[iknownothingihearnothing]

Sense8 Ep 3 recap: “Polyphony”

iHELLO, FELLOW SENSATES!

I have never ‘capped a binge-watchy show before. They’ve always been network shows so...pluses and minuses here. I don’t really have a set schedule to get these ‘caps out, ‘cause y’all watch at your leisure. 

It’s THE FUTURE.

Pretty soon, Apple will release iBall, where we can watch all our favorite shows from a chip installed into our brains via specially licensed Apple neurosurgeons and projected directly onto our eyeballs. 

For a nominal monthly fee, natch.

Okay. “Obligate Mutualisms” ended with Croome, who had just revealed to Will that he was switching sides, with a knife in his neck and some poor lady Whispers had possessed to do his dirty work slitting her own throat in the Rijksmuseum. 

Everyone goes apeshit. 

Security guards at the museum order everyone out. But Will needs to cause some kind of diversion to find Whispers so Lito steps in as Riley with his actin’ skillz.

Yes, thank you, captions. I figured he was, indeed, screaming. 

He saw the terrorist! What is this world coming to?! They need to CATCH him! He went THAT way! Etcetera, etcetera! 

I love Lito and his skillz. He probs started out in a few telenovelas so he must know how to bring the dramz.

*snort*

Wolfgang appears to let everyone know that he met someone who can help. Her name is Lila and she’s a sensate.

Kala’s Reaction Face is priceless:

Nomi, however, is skeptical. She wonders aloud how Lila and her cluster have managed to elude BPO thus far. Either they’re really cunning or working with Whispers. Wolfie asks her to find whatever she can on Lila Facchini, but before she can do her hacking magic, Bug would kinda like to be in the loop now. You know, it’s a little unnerving that Nomi talks to air all the time.

Don’t look at Wolfgang, though.

So now we check in with our sensates in their individual lives. Sun is on top of the roof of the apartment building belonging to the woman  who’s aiding and abetting her and Ming-Jun’s prison break, doing some breathing exercises. Kala is all dressed up to attend a gallery opening with her boring, non-badass hubby. Wolfgang is presiding over his newly acquired club.

He is basically sitting on a frigging throne.

Aw, come on. Y’all knew that GIF was a-comin’.

At the gallery in Mumbai, we are introduced to this dude, who is totally checking out Kala in his first scene:

His name is Ajay, he works with Rajan, and he’s THIRSTAY for some Kala.

I guess Rajan and Ajay are biznezz partners? And they both have the same taste in dem ladies.

Up on the roof in Seoul, Sun continues to do her mystical exercises and I guess we’re meant to believe it does something to Wolfie and Kala because they both excuse themselves--well, Kala excuses herself; Wolfie just says he has to piss--to use the bathroom.

Where they meet. And Kala asks what we all have been wondering:

Y’all have some weird toilet fetish that you srsly need to explore with a psychologist. 

So they make small talk about her new job and then he’s all “I gotta piss” because angst or not this IS a bathroom until she stops him from emptying his doubtlessly bursting bladder, asking him why it has to be like this and why she can’t just talk to the one man she can say anything to. His reply:

Yeah thanks, German Angel. What the hell is it with these Brooding Heroes who make blanket decisions for themselves and their women folk? If you love said women folk, shouldn’t you, like, consult them? 

But Wolfie’s gotta piss, and when you gotta go, you gotta go. Unfortunately, when he opens the stall door, there’s Lila.

And then, if THAT’S not aggravating for his bladder enough, Kala tells him that she may not be the good person she is pretending to be, etcetera etcetera and okay I totes ship Wolfgang and Kala but oh my GOD WILL SOMEONE LET THE POOR MAN PEE?!

Fuck knows how many beers he chugged down. His kidneys must be bursting! 

Kala is forced to leave Wolfgang when her friends find her to gossip about that “wicked man Ajay Kapoor”. Lila appears amused that Wolfie has a tortured love. He meets her in her car and asks her how she avoids BPO. She spouts some bullshiz about wanting something bad enough blah blah.

Me no likey Lila. 

In San Fran, Nomi has just finished telling Bug that she sees dead people is a sensate and he;s like--

Bug, for the record, thinks it’s fucking awesome as fuck.

In Seoul, Min-Jung and Sun are on the roof talkin’. Min-Jung asks Sun if those assholes who tried to kill her were hired by her bastard brother. When Sun confirms this, Min-Jung says this is a good thing; it means he’s afraid. Sun is a strong, kickass woman. But she has a soft heart. Min-Jung is a wee bit worried that her revenge spree will compromise that. 

In Nairobi, Zakia stops the VAN DAMN to let Capheus know that their infamous interview has already amassed 2 million viewers. And she wants to know if they can do a follow up interview. Capheus doesn’t look too thrilled.

Meanwhile, Nomi is watching a live feed of her favorite author at the bookstore she *would* be working at if she wasn’t a fugitive. And Kala has returned to the scene of the crime/temple where that stabby fun she witnessed took place last year. It’s the first time she’s been back since.

At the temple, there’s some kinda demonstration goin’ on. Annnnnnnd there’s also one goin’ on at the same time in Nairobi. People at the temple are pissed about the Anti-Idoltry bill, you know, the one proposed by Mr. Rasal, who was knifed because of it? That one. At the same time, in Nairobi, the price of water has been raised again and people can no longer afford it. 

Both protests are interlocked together. Capheus attempts to reason with the asshole who keeps raising the price of clean water: “Water is life.”

Wow. That kind of evil takes years of practice. Congratulations, you schlongfuck. Denying desperately thirsty people the only clean water around for miles unless they can pay an exorbitant price is MASTERFULLY dickish. Someone set up an interview with Wolfram & Hart. 

In San Fran, Neets saunters out of the bookstore, Nomi on the Bluetooth, and gets on her motorcycle when--

--she thinks she spots Agent Bent Dick Bendix, the sleezy FBI agent on Nomi’s tail from last season. Not wanting to alert him to Nomi’s hidey hole-boat, she gets on her motorcycle and speeds away to lose him.

And this is where everything gets mooshed. One dude in Mumbai starts a chant of “One truth. Our truth” and Kala is singled out as “not belonging” somehow and there is a riot. People push and shove, just like in Nairobi. There, a woman with an infant goes down, and the baby begins to cry. Capheus cradles the baby while the woman stands, gives him back to his mother, then regards the asshole with determination. There WILL be clean water for all, damnit! All the while Neets is driving like a bat outta hell to get rid of Bendix.

Scenes like that are kinda hard to recap. I never really know if I should describe them individually or sort of meld them...or whatever. It’s headache-y!

Okay, so, the next scene with the lab. Can I just say--

Cha, this show is GREAT, don’t get me wrong but there can be moments of WTFery. I didn’t entirely “get” what was happening here so I turned to some other recaps of the episode and that scene was ALSO emitted so those authors likely had no idea WTF either. Riley is...testing...something. And blood is being taken out of her. By some Dutch guy she used to be baes with. 

All I know is Will mind-warps in all jealous-y “WTH is going on here?” and Lito’s all I think they were lovers. And Dutch Guy is all coweyes at Riley “I missed you” and she replies “It’s good to catch up” and I giggle because--

And because Dutch Guy cannot take a hint, he trails a hand along Riley’s hand and she subtly takes it away and it’s HIGH-LARIOUS.

Dutch Guy is NOT getting into her Riley Blues. 

In Nairobi, Kobi Kihara, Zakia’s boss at the station, is interviewing Capheus on air. She mentions his father, who was involved in politics and was killed for it when Capheus was a young boy. Did that at all “inspire his love for social justice”?

Capheus is a Social Justice Warrior I guess? Man, the alt-right would descend upon the poor guy waving torches and Pepe the Frog flags and screaming about “Reverse Racism”. 

(And no, before someone calls me a snowflake libtard sjw pos [although idk if they exist on tumblr, which seems to be a very liberal social media outlet, right?] I am neither liberal nor conservative. I am independent/centrist with gay rights support, mkay?).

Capheus seems to have an AHA moment. Maybe that IS why he is so involved in the community despite naive hopes to keep his head down.

In Mumbai, Kala walks into her really awesome new place wearing a really awesome skirt to learn that her husband has been receiving fucking bomb threats.

(Aside: I love Donald Glover so much. He performed some standup at my university and did some freelance with my friend. It was AH-MAZING.)

Rajan tries to reassure her by adding that it was so poorly made, the cops laughed. Still, a special agent has been assigned to keep them safe for the time being.

Kala looks peaked. Where the fuck is Wolfgang? If anyone knows how to diffuse a bomb, it’s him.

In Mexico City, Lito drives to confront Mr. Pasquale, the father of one Raoul Pasquale, the last of Angelica’s birthin’ cluster and his former interviewer/lover. 

We’re also given a sneak peek into snapshots of a still closeted, pre-sensate Lito’s life when he met Raoul, before the plot devise explosion that turned him into a true sensorium. 

In said flashback, as these two hot, sweaty men are makin’ out on the terrace, Lito stops to assure Raoul that he’s not gay. Uh, just, well...

We believe you, Lito.

Mr. Pasquale bluntly asks if Lito was Raoul’s lover. Lito stumbles out a yes as we are shown Raoul giving Lito a blowjob.

On the terrace.

Yo, Lito. If you’re trying to remain closeted, getting a beej from another dude out there for the world to see you, by an interviewer to boot, may not be the best idea.

Will steps in to inquire about Raoul’s disappearance just as we check on over to Seoul and meet Detective Mun.

Or, as I like to call him, Detective Mun of my Heart.

Good Lord, that actor is so absurdly hot. I searched all over IMDb to find him and finally someone on twitter filled me in. His name is Sokku Son and he needs to marry me.

After that ALL TOO BRIEF scene, we’re back with Raoul and Lito, where we’re shown some pictures Raoul kept of Angelica and her cabin and also some stuff he kept hidden behind a large poster of one of Lito’s movies blah blah blah BACK TO MY KOREAN GOD. 

Detective AYOOOOOOOOOOGA--

--knocks on the door, shows off his badge, and introduces himself as Detective Yes Please Mun with the Seoul Police.

At first, Mrs. Cho attempts to act all innocent but Detective Yum Yum Gimme Some Mun shows her Min-Jung’s and Sun’s discarded prison clothes (kinda a stupid move; Wolfgang should’ve knocked them upside the head) and invites them to search the apartment, presumably loudly, giving them ample time to escape. 

In Mexico City, for some reason, Mr. Pasquale still has a VCR and we watch a VHS recording Raoul took depicting Todd, the sensate who hated being a sensate. He’s all dolled up like Jonas and that Drake lookalike and strapped to a table. There’s also Whispers wearing a hideous shirt and...Professor Kolovi, who is not an absent minded professor. The machine is turned on, and Todd’s dreams of being “normal” are dashed when he’s turned into--

Lito and Mr. Pasquale (and mind-Will, mind-Riley, and mind-Nomi) are watching Evil!BPO: Origins. 

Raoul called his father just before he disappeared, crying, and saying nothing, with Angelica holding the phone to his ear.

Back to Seoul and Detective--

There’s a bang, and Min-Jung’s standing with her hands raised over Detective Bae Mun’s partner knocked out..or maybe dead? At her feet. Idk, idk. BANG could mean anything to me. Be more descriptive, captions. But Min-Jung obviously surrenders to give Sun a chance to get away, which she does, running to the roof in her bra and sweats.

Sun does a lot of escaping in her bra this season. 

Here is another gratuitous shot of Detective Yes Daddy for you.

Oh, and furthermore:

Y’all, when I was first watching this batch of episodes and I tweeted out Detective Awesome’s picture, I got MAD responses. Like whoa. This guy has groupies. I think I got something like 400 hearts and 250 retweets, it was insane. That was like over two weeks ago and I’m still getting feedback. 

Mr. Son, you’ve got fans.

K, so Detective Delicious goes to arrest Sun when she starts wailing on him. He begins to fight back but she’s got the upper hand because she’s a Slayer-In-Training a badass bitch and Detective Swoonworthy is all--

While they’re fighting, he flashes back to a jiu-jitsu tournament wherein he got his ass served to him by a girl.

Yep, it was Sun. Which he realizes just before she knocks his hot butt out cold.

Sun returns to the apartment to collect Min-Jung (and perhaps put on a shirt) but Min-Jung decides she’s had enough of freedom. She just hopes Sun clears her name and gets revenge on her brother.

In Amsterdam and San Fran, Will, Riley, and Nomi are having the same dreamemory. In it, Jonas and Angelica are arguing about...BPO sterilizing sensates?!

Look, man. That’s BAD, okay? You never wanna do anything that the Nazis did. That is pretty much a philosophy to live by. “Don’t do what the Nazis did”.

Except maybe for wearing Hugo Boss. Those uniforms were fabulous!

In real time, Jonas mind-visits them while Real Jonas is being wheeled into some Evil Operating Room at BPO HQ in Iceland. He is no longer necessary to them. 

They’re gonna kill him. And they want the sensates to watch.

Jonas is scared. Hell, who wouldn’t be?

While the Evil Doctors are getting ready to Do Their Evil, Dead Angelica appears to help Jonas cross over. It’s really kind of sad because they really did love each other and she knows how badly she fucked up.

His skull is beginning to be cut open WITHOUT ANESTHESIA and the last thing he sees before he presumably dies is Angelica’s face.

Oh MAN THAT IS SO SAD.

I love how binge-watchy shows end eps on a cliffy like we can’t just click “next” to see what happens trololol.

PS: Sorry about the lateness. I had biznezz to attend to. And by biznezz I mean my health insurance. 

[ltofoceania]

Dirk Gently Carnival/Fair AU

OMG another post. I was thinking a lot last night. Here’s another idea I had. 

I also spammed @quingigillion about this earlier today. So this is a combination of hers and my ideas. The Elemental one was literally just me throwing things at my BFF. 

- We've got Dirk as a shitty fortune teller and that's hilarious.   ~ Just imagine: "Step on up, I'll tell you your fortune! Only a dollar!" Dirk says trying to get customers.Todd doesn't want to, but Amanda thinks it'll be fun. So Todd pays the two dollars for them both and Dirk is “!!!”   ~ Dirk reads Amanda's fortune and it's nothing but "loud music, white hair, fire, and blue???"   ~ For Todd it's "death??? Oh no it's a maze. And 3 questions, 1 answer"     + Todd is unimpressed and Amanda is all excited.

- Dirk lives in a dinky little trailer/caravan thing. But it's a bed and a roof over his head so he's happy. 

- So like fortune teller Dirk is totally (not) psychic but is also terrifyingly accurate.

- Bart is a that person who does all the dangerous tricks and shit. She will swallow a sword no problem, spit fire, and even juggle chainsaws or something.

- Ken is her assistant is always sweating bullets because oh my gawd she has no fear.

- The Rowdies are acrobats.

- Todd thinks Dirk is full of shit and doesn't believe any of his predictions. 

- Ok what about Mona???   ~ She's the freaky ass princess character who hypnotizes people and puts them to sleep. She makes them reveal secrets to the audience claiming it's her hypnosis, but it's all their deepest darkest secrets.   ~ Or she runs the "fun" house with mirrors and weird ass traps. She does creepy voiceovers while patrons wander through it.M   ~ Mona really likes fucking with people really.

- Dirk is always "please be nice, this is supposed to be fun" and Mona is "if they didn't want to get screwed with, then they wouldn't have paid me a dollar each"

- Blackwing is the carnival, 

- Can we make Friedkin a clown?   ~ The Answer: Yes!!!   ~  Friedkin is that sad angry clown man who just is like "what is my life??? I have killer skills and yet here I am."   ~  Him in a clown outfit and a painted sad face having fruit thrown at him by the Rowdies.

- With Wilson in charge and Riggins as the ringmaster   ~ Wilson does the money too.   ~ Wilson rules with an iron fist   ~ Wilson kicks Riggins out eventually and instates Friedkin as ringmaster instead he’s easier to manipulate than Riggins who then acts as like their (our squad) dad.   ~ All she has to do is give him a bigger cut and he'll do anything.   ~ And Friedkin, in his new role, decides to shake things up and mixes everyone into the big tent event.     + So we're talking Dirk being forced into a ring with a lion where Bart is normally comfortable.

- Estevez and Zimmerfield as security/bouncers   ~ Estevez is more or less friends with everyone.   ~ Zimmerfield is just "I'm too old for this shit, but I don't have to worry about not seeing the world as I've always wanted"

- FARAH DOES THE KNIFE THROWING

- FRIEDKIN PUTS DIRK ON THE WHEEL AND FARAH HAS TO THROW AT HIM AND PRAY SHE DOESN’T MISS   ~ Like little Dirk in the comic and Bart

- Lydia as a dog whisperer?   ~ She has a corgi who she can talk to and they do tricks together   ~ You know the dog dances and agility runs and stuff   ~ She's the adorable warm up act.

- Ted/Ed/Jed/Zed as panther tamers   ~ Big animal tamers in general maybe??? 

- Patrick is either dead in this or is the lion tamer   ~ This idea^^^ was vetoed in favor of a better one.   ~ How about he dives with sharks???     + And one of them bites him one day   ~ The carnival has one shark. Like one tank. It's weird, but Patrick is eccentric and it sells.   ~ Maybe even some eels thrown in.   ~ Patrick’s like we need one (1) rhino and one (1) shark   ~ Wilson is just "whyyyyyyyyy?" And when Patrick somehow comes up with the extra $25,000 she doesn't question it again.

-Patrick has like a secret trust fund or something. (secret carnival hedge fund)   ~ Saving up to enable him and Lydia to leave   ~ In the mean time he'll buy a rhino   ~  He's also a somewhat impulse buyer.     + Patrick legit can't control himself. He's like "big and scary "     ~  He really loved Pepe.   ~  Maybe when Pepe dies Patrick’s like WE'LL GET A SHARK INSTEAD

- Lydia is friends with Dirk and Farah, and she wants them to come with her and her dad.

- Everyone is poor.   ~  Patrick has one good suit.   ~ Lydia has one good dress.   ~ Dirk has just the one jacket, trousers, button up, and tie.   ~  They’re all so poor they live on the carnival food and occasional pizza orders which is why it’s all Dirk loves.

- Ken is also the mechanic of the whole operation. When something goes down he's there to fix it and it's back up and running in no time.

-Bart lives on cotton candy and funnel cakes. 

- Dirk eats nothing but fried foods.   ~ Like deep fried Oreos.   ~ Deep fried cereal.   ~ Deep fried Twinkies.    ~ Bacon wrapped drumsticks. (when he is forced to have some damn protein)

- Farah tries to eat healthy.

- Patrick always tries to go into the towns they're staying in and have a real meal.   ~  Patrick has tried to bring Dirk into the towns but he's way too curious and Patrick will not get roped into being babysitter again.   ~  It was a mess...Dirk wanted to do EVERYTHING   ~  Lydia thought it was cute and funny, but Patrick was just "For the love of god I am a single parent of one and this grown ass man is not mine."

- Lydia always brings back leftovers and shares with her friends.

[httpiastri]

hehe i have returned!!!! so glad you enjoyed the college!pepe thoughts and now i can’t help but let him take over every part of my brain, and you’ve given me even more to think about!! 🫡💘

when you say pepe probably went through a relationship that ended a bit badly… I AGREE!!! ahhhhh really i was thinking about what his problem with love is and why he’s emotionally unavailable and i was like… either he never was in a relationship before and the thought of doing this relationship stuff right is a bit scary to him, or maybe he had put his heart out there once and had it completely obliterated so he’s just like “i’m not putting myself and my heart out there again if i can help it.” i can see him being totally over his ex, but the situation in how his relationship ended was so bad it kinda just became something he never really got over? poor baby got done so dirty 🫠 he couldn’t bring himself to trust and let people in like that again until he met reader!!

and you talking how pepe would subconsciously do things for reader!! he’s such an act of service guy for the people he cares about 🤭 reader bending down from her seat to pick up something she dropped? his hand is definitely already covering the corner so she won’t accidentally bump into it. the friend group walking to get dinner somewhere? immediately made sure reader is walking inside and he’s walking to side nearest to the street. oh the reader looked a bit tired during their class together? he bought and personally delivered reader’s favorite drink or coffee during their break. and chris is like… “dude you said no when i asked you to get me coffee earlier 🥲” and pepe said “i only have hands to carry two drinks.” and the whole time his friend is just begging and praying to any god that would answer for pepe to realize his own feelings for reader because everyone can see it except him !!!!

oh OH AND before i go do we think pepe’s confusion, denial, and uncertainties towards his feelings for reader could potentially lead to a fight between him and his friends ???!!!! because i definitely have a thought or two about this one too ehehe and i think an angsty wake up call fits him very well 🫣 maybe nothing too big of a fight but i can see pepe getting smart mouthed with either chris or sebas about it. i can elaborate more if we do think so 😛😛

- 🎀

he owns both of our brains now, huh? 🥹 and this au….. you're a genius, my love 🫶

yes yes that's the vibe im getting too, either just very inexperienced or he's still kinda hurt from what happened to him before. and maybe that's a bit why sebas tries to set him up with all of these random girls, he doesn't want to see his best friend heartbroken and refusing to get back into love again (because sebas knows it's worth it 😎). and that's also why pepe always finds excuses, he just doesn't think he's ready again… like he excuses it with "not being interested" and being more focused on his schoolwork, but there's something inside of him making him scared of love :(( yes it's not rlly that he misses the person, but the whole experience and how it ended was just bad. but when he meets the reader….. <3333

i ADORE "acts of service"!pepe !!!! the covering the edge of the table… the sidewalk rule… the coffee…….. you're making me melt anon 🫠 speaking of the coffee, i think he would memorize her order like instantly without even intending to (just like most of her other orders, likes and preferences tbh). and it would be so funny when he follows sebas along to go get coffee one day, and after sebas has ordered pepe jumps in and says "oh and a *insert whatever yns order is*", but sebas looks at him like "?? you said you weren't in the mood for coffee? and since when do you drink that??", but pepe just goes "oh it's for y/n" like it's no big deal….. but sebas knows that it indeed is a very big deal shejdhsjsj

and omg yes it's SO obvious. anyone with eyes can see that pepe has feelings for you (except for the two of you, apparently). because never has he acted like this around a girl since his last gf? he barely even looks at the other girls in his classes unless he has a group project with one of them? i definitely get the vibes of a fight there, oml. the denial is so strong for pepe but it's also a mix of just being scared because of what happened before, and not being sure if yn likes him back (because falling for someone who won't like him back will be crushing).... you're definitely welcome to elaborate if you'd like to 🤭🤭🤭

i also have vibes of a like angry confession from yn like far down the line, very "god, how blind can you be?!" and "of course i like you, you idiot!".…… but that's a story for another time 😶