#god this scene still kills me two months later

[vilnmelling]

NPMD Digital Ticket details!

Since not every can/can afford to/wants to buy the Digital Ticket for Nerdy Prudes Must Die (and the bonus material that comes with the purchase), for your inclusion purposes, here's a list of fun background details, funny moments and comments made in the track commentary, for you to use however you like!

Ruth doesn't actually need to wear her headgear anymore, but she wears it anyway because it makes her feel safe.

Jeff pitched a Nightmare Time episode about the problematic puppy from Steph's verse of High School Is Killing Me, meaning there is a story there.

In the line, "I learned that at the anti bullying assembly last month, fucknugget!" there's a long pause before "Fucknugget!" which really makes it sound like Max forgot to insult Richie and just threw the word out.

All of the little noises Ruth makes, she makes because she has more she wants to say, but she can't say them (presumably due to anxiety).

In the proshot, you can't see fully how low Richie goes while he and Ruth sneak up on Peter, but Jon is fully crouched down. He then uses Pete's pockets and elbows to climb up like he's climbing a mountain (he mimes using a pick or axe to get good hold).

While Steph is talking, Ruth and Richie try their best to hear through the phone by getting as close as they can to it.

The reason Max and Jason were in the Pasqualli's parking lot is that they were practicing their skateboarding. They do that at Pasqualli's instead of at school/at a skatepark because they don't want the smoke club and skater kids to make them look like noobs. (This was a cut bit from the Pasqualli's scene).

The line, "Some big... dumb... sexy... football star" is expanded. In the Digital Ticket, Grace says, "Some big... dumb... sexy... sweaty... hot... well-spoken... beautifully tall football star."

When they're in the boys bathroom, Steph jumps to see over the stalls.

Richie Naruto runs when they're going to Waylon Hall. Pete slaps his hands down, but after they pause to look at the house, Richie looks over his shoulders at Pete a couple of times before darting away from him, once again Naruto running.

Richie stops in the door at the Waylon Place, so Pete pushes him inside.

Ruth and Richie speak at the same time when they say, "I'm allergic to deodorant" and "I have overactive sweat glands."

Ruth goes straight to Richie to complain after the "pus in my pits" exchange with Steph.

When Steph suggests saying there's a party at the Waylon Place, Pete, Ruth and Richie all react negatively (mostly nervously groaning).

While Grace sings the "He's just a nerd in disguise!" line, Richie can be seen practicing the first move of the Bully the Bully dance.

After Ruth says, "We're gonna cut off his nips!" you can see Steph look confused and ask, "What?"

While Pete and Richie talk in the Waylon Place ("Am I reading as ghost or Lin Manuel Miranda" & "She came all the way out here just for you."), Ruth and Steph discuss and practice Ruth's skeleton moves.

Richie gets stuck in the dangling parts of Pete's costume when he says, "You could just hit it and quit it, bro!" He then aggressively detangles himself.

The line "He's just really fucking brave!" comes from Richie being jealous that he's not that brave.

Richie hypes Ruth up a bit after Max says her skeleton bit was really special.

Grace hides behind Ruth while Max is dying.

Richie rolls his eyes when Grace says "It was an act of god!" (Similarly, Shapiro sighs and looks away in disbelief when Grace later says "It was god's plan!")

Pete gags when Grace says "Hack all his limbs off." Richie can also be seen gagging and holding his stomach several times.

Ruth hands Max's nipples over to Grace after cutting them off.

Jeff Blim is the principal of Hatchetfield High. Not a character of Jeff's, just Jeff himself.

Brenda still seems quite judgmental after the two weeks have passed. She makes a lot of not-quite-friendly faces when the football team's talking about Richie smelling bad.

When Richie struggles to remove the Zeke the Fightin' Nighthawk costume, he accidentally removes his jacket as well, leading to Jon having to put it back on (which he also struggles with) (and which creates a funny situation, since Richie was supposed to go shower).

Richie seems to have hurt his leg by the second fall in Nerdy Prudes Must Die (the song).

After Steph tells Grace to "Leave Ruth alone!" in the principal's office, Ruth tries to grab Steph's hand.

The wig Joey wears when he plays Dan Reynolds isn't Dan's real hair. Dan Reynolds wears a toupée.

Trevor and Angela's drama student encourage each other after they finish rehearsing.

Additional line when Grace is lying to Shapiro: "Suddenly, I remembered a crucial detail that made everything make sense. A picture came flashing into my mind, like I was Enola Holmes!"

"My dad sells women shoe! Shoes!"

Angela misses the chair at Beanie's and falls on her ass, leading to her, Joey and Mariah (mostly Mariah) breaking character.

During The Summoning, Tinky focuses ONLY on Pete. The entire time, he looks like he's restricting himself from lunging out and attacking him. At one point, he points at the Bastard's Box while staring at Pete.

90% of the time during The Summoning, Pokey's staring at his own mask.

Steph facepalms after Max says "That's nasty! ... I like it!"

[nkplanet]

UNCONDITIONAL

sam x fem!reader ft. dean cw suggestive, little bit of angst, set sometime in the early seasons bc i love baby sam, reader is shorter than sam, switch sam my beloved wc 1014

summary sam can’t get enough of you notes whiny sam ib this scene from house of wax

when dean had left the two of you alone in a motel room for the night, he hadn’t imagined he’d wake up to sam alone and miserable.

and yet, there he was.

“where’s-”

“she’s gone, dean,” his brother had huffed, “long gone.”

he hadn’t prodded any further. you were one of sam’s many soft spots. a hunter yourself, you knew the risks of getting close to people. sam had thought that with both of you being hunters it would offer some reprieve, would allow you to open up to him and begin something, anything. he was almost desperate for you, but you left anyway, claiming it was too dangerous.

of course, he knew that most hunters isolated themselves. bobby and gordon sprang to mind immediately.

still, he had hope.

you saw each other again some months later. this time, you’d helped the boys on a case, sticking around long enough for sam to get to know you somewhat better. it frustrated him to no end that he couldn’t get further than the walls you’d built up, but he understood.

you hadn’t spent the night together the way you had three times before then, instead parting ways at sundown with a kiss that could have rivalled romeo and juliet. sam was addicted to your lips, your eyes, your body. you weren’t faring any better; sam’s body on yours and the noises he made played on your mind constantly.

and then: radio silence. once again.

even dean was beginning to worry about you. you normally checked in with them, especially after a tough case, but they’d heard nothing for weeks upon weeks.

that was, until you showed up at their motel door.

dean had ushered you in out of the rain immediately after taking the necessary precautions (read: splashing you with holy water). you were tired, a little bloodied, and soaked to the bone, but otherwise okay. he sat you on a bed and brought you a towel, allowing you a moment of peace before he threw questions at you.

“you’ve had sammy worry sick, y’know,” he said, giving you yet another once over.

“i know, i’m sorry. i’ve been on a long hunt. no cell service for weeks,” you said, wringing out your hair.

“and?”

“a werewolf clan. six of them. had to pick them off one by one and the last one chased me here. i killed it on the border of town and by then i had nothing. no supplies other than the clothes on my back and weapons in my hand and god knows what in my pockets,” you explained.

dean whistled. “so how’d you find us?”

“i called-” you started, as the door swung open. you tensed, immediately relaxing the second you saw a mop of brown hair atop a lanky frame.

“sammy,” you whispered.

sam’s head snapped to you, which dean took as his cue to leave.

“hey,” you said lamely, standing.

“where have you been?” sam said immediately. you could tell he was torn between being mad at you for disappearing and worried at your complete absence from the world.

“a hunt. it’s a long story. i had no cell service for two weeks,” you said, stood stock still. you didn’t want to startle the man in front of you, instead letting him come to you.

“i’ve missed you,” he all but whispered, closing the distance between you and putting his hands on your waist.

“i’m sorry,” you replied. he leaned down to kiss you, one hand coming up to cradle your neck.

your lips met, beginning slow but soon moving towards something more like hungry. you’d been starved of each other for too long, and sam didn’t intend to let you go this time. he chased your lips as you backed away for air, moving once again to the bed.

“that one’s dean’s,” sam said against your lips, directing you to his own bed. you giggled, making your way over and allowing sam to sit on his bed. you stood inbetween his legs, craning your neck down a little to kiss him more.

he slipped his tongue in your mouth, pulling you impossibly closer to him. you ran your hands across his broad shoulders, down his toned chest, as his own danced up and down your back, occasionally reaching your ass. he moved back towards the headboard, pulling you onto his lap. you straddled his thighs with your own, practically crawling to him. you looked down at him through half-lidded eyes as he looked at you, nothing but adoration on his face. you leaned in once more, connecting again.

sam’s hands travelled further, spreading across your waist and against your stomach, settling eventually underneath your thighs. yours migrated down, feeling his abs and oh so carefully brushing his obvious erection. at that, sam let out a whine, which he tried to stop almost immediately. you smirked at him.

“haven't heard that one before,” you said, teasing him.

he rolled his eyes playfully. “yeah, well, i was on top last time.”

“maybe we should do this more often then.”

sam’s response was to pull you in again, to which you let out a gasp, making him smile into the kiss. he ran his hand through your hair and you moaned, at which point dean chose to enter the room again.

“c’mon guys, i don’t wanna see that shit,” he complained dramatically, covering his eyes.

you sighed and rolled off sam’s lap. he pulled a pillow onto it in your place to hide the bulge in his jeans.

“don’t just barge in like that then,” sam retorted, obviously annoyed at his brother.

“‘s not my fault you two chose to get it on in our shared motel room!”

you rolled your eyes at their bickering, leaning down to get the towel you’d forgotten the minute you saw sam and using it to dry your hair. looking over at sam, you knew it would be hard to leave him again. you couldn’t stay forever - all three of you knew that - but maybe this time you could stay for longer.

[vintagemulti]

shards and splinters

parings: marc spector x reader , steven grant x reader

desc: apparently what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. now you’ve died and returned alive, perhaps it’s time to test that theory; or risk losing your life once and for all.

warnings: blood, angst, swearing, fighting, guns and gun violence, death descriptions, long as fuck, sex mentions i guess(? if you squint), hurt/comfort, gory i guess (jake🤷🏻‍♀️) writers note: idk how accurate these are bc i’ve been writing this on and off for years but cover all bases i guess xx

a/n: psa to pls reblog anyway she’s BAAAAAACKKK did you miss me ?? i missed youse … if there’s even a moonknight fandom anymore 🫣 i’m so sorry for the 2 years gone from the face of tumblr, i’ve quite honestly had two years from hell and insane writers block so. can anyone even remember this series?? idk maybe you should all reread the first parts 👀👀 anyways. there’ll be one more part to this (will it come this year? next? 2026? who knows…) bc i HATED my original ending and just had to change it. also sorry if this feels rushed or like it jumps around a lot, it’s been written over YEARS, but i’ve tried my best for continuity. also, i know there’s a lot missing in like fight scenes but they are BORING and i hate writing em so i’m not doing it. tried, got half way thru then didn’t touch this for 7 months so.. it’s no fight scene or no part at all. but my last part is pretty much done so hopefully it’ll be posted soon! ill let youse savour this for a while tho lol. on a real note thank you all SO much for all the love, even two years later. it means the world. all my love, all the time x

series masterlist

masterlist

the air felt different now. it was funny; you and marc had been apart hundreds, if not thousands of times, but he had never felt your absence. not like this. no, never like this. it was different now because he knew he could look for you everywhere and you would still be in that room, not breathing, not living.

he could see it all so clearly now. all of what? all of it. everything; life, your life, his life, where everything went wrong, what he should have done, should have said, how he could have saved you.

there was nothing you could have done, marc.

“that’s easy for you to say.” he mumbled, looking down at his hands. “you’re not the one who was halfway through a fucking argument when harrow took her. and if you can remember, harrow took her because of me.”

steven sighed, and went quiet.

“i should’ve died on that fucking alter.”

marc said it over and over, like a prayer, to go back in time and pull the trigger. he was fuck knows where, it looked like the middle of the desert but marc didn’t care enough to question it.

he had walked out of that pyramid and kept on walking - for hours. the hot egyptian sun had began to set, casting a rosy hue on everything. the humidity make marc’s head ache.

steven had gone silent - a small hum of anger in the back of marc’s head. it usually would have surprised marc, for steven to be the angry one. but he wasn’t sure he would never feel surprised again.

are you going to wallow here forever?

marc looked up, low sun glinting in his eyes, making him squint. but he could tell exactly who it was - crescent staff in his peripheral.

“fuck off.”

khonshu laughed. that’s one way to talk to a god.

“fuck off.” he repeated.

and why should i, mortal? why should i listen to you?

“you did this.” it was stiff, cold, a definite statement. “you did this to us.”

khonshu groaned, moving to block the sun from marc’s eyes so he could see him properly. aren’t you going to question how i am here?

“no.”

perhaps you should.

marc could never cope with khonshu’s riddles. they had always infuriated him - never getting a straight answer. but this one, he could tolerate.

“fuck does that mean?” he was looking directly into khonshu’s eyes now - something he had readily avoided for years. “and don’t give me any of your goddamn riddles.”

if you must be so blunt, it would seem like osiris has taken a liking to your poor lady wife. hathor isn’t half fond of her, either. maybe you ought to go back to the pyramid, something tells me your needed.

and he was gone. disappeared with a gust of wind, leaving marc alone in the saharan sunset, shaking and still covered in his wife’s blood.

she’s alive?

“i-” marc looked around. “i don’t-”

his eyes slipped into the back of his head.

steven took a deep breath, swallowing hard. he set off in a run - towards the pyramid.

-

“this feels so fucking weird.”

you were pressed flat against the wall, peeking around every few seconds to make sure one of harrow’s followers wasn’t coming your way.

i must admit, it’s been a while since i’ve had an avatar.

you let out a breathy laugh. was that your first ever laugh since being revived? you supposed it must be. oh, you wished it was one of steven’s jokes you were laughing at instead.

you didn’t think you’d ever find one of his jokes unfunny again.

“where is he?”

it’s hard to tell. i can’t check, unless i’d like ammit to spot me.

humming, you looked around the corner once again, breath hitching when you saw a shadow come closer.

what made your breath stop completely, however, was the slow, melodic tapping of a cane, following every footstep the person took.

harrow was less than two feet away from you.

swallowing hard, you pushed yourself against the wall even harder, back cold against the concrete. you hoped - prayed with your newfound faith in osiris and his mercy - that harrow would turn back the other way, not hearing your thumping heart.

but your luck had ran out for this lifetime.

the tapping of the cane became louder, until you could see the tip of it in your peripheral, crunching glass finally becoming audible. he was about to come around the corner, and see you. you would be impossible to miss, even the bright red of your new outfit making you stand out.

it seemed like it was impossible to escape harrow, and the tapping of his cane. he had killed you once, what would stop him from doing it again?

apparently, a guardian angel. someone spoke, making harrow turn to look behind him.

this was your chance - to slip away and turn the opposite corner, escape harrow in your new life as you couldn’t in your last.

his voice made you flinch. cool, charming, low. like a snake - exactly like a snake, now you thought about it. the way he slid through life, from the bar all those years ago, to now, awakening a centuries old god, aiming to destroy the world.

you could slither away too, though.

still holding your breath, you sidestepped along the wall, making sure to watch your step over any lose stones, until the wall fell away behind you and led you into another corridor.

as soon as the light from the hall had faded, you let out your breath, hands coming to your forehead and rubbing your eyes.

we have to keep moving. ammit is almost ready to begin.

nodding - although it felt like your brain was rattling around your skull - you looked back up and saw hathor, still looking as beautiful as ever.

this hallway was much dimmer than the last. colder, too. it was like all the light had been blocked, the only thing keeping your vision was the small, fading candles lining the walls every meter or so.

perhaps it was your natural instinct, or a new given sense as an avatar, but you could tell - something wasn’t right. something in the air had shifted, on top of the hot, sticky, egyptian heat, there was something sinister.

your years as a mercenary had taught you to recognise something - blood in the air. and there was certainly blood in the air around you.

“what is harrow’s plan?”

he wants to judge people. through ammit, he believes he can rid the world of everyone bad, even if they aren’t already bad.

“so he’s playing god?” the corridor seemed to go on forever.

he would never admit it, but yes. and ammit is the perfect enabler for him, she’ll know exactly what he’s up to, but because he can give her her power back, she’ll play along.

you scoffed lightly. “harrow isn’t stupid either. he’ll know what she thinks.”

hathor shrugged, a few paces in front of you. only time will tell, my dear.

for a few minutes, the walk along the corridor was silent. the tap of your shoes echoed down the hall, breeze from your passing flickering the candles on the wall.

why did you marry him?

it stopped you in your tracks, hathor stopping too.

“what?”

marc. why did you marry him?

you stuttered for a moment, looking around as if someone would come and help you.

i don’t mean it in a rude way. i’m the goddess of love, it’s natural for me to want to know.

“well,” you paused for a moment and began walking again, slower this time. “we were young when we met, i was coming up for 18 and he was 19.”

and?

“and i knew what i had done to him.” you swallowed. “i felt fucking awful, i thought, maybe if i get to know the guy, and he’s not as much of an ass as everyone makes him out to be, it’ll make it easier for me to forgive myself.”

the corridor kept on, as if it were never ending.

“as you can tell, it didn’t work.”

he wasn’t as much of an asshole as everyone thought?

“no, he was,” you gave a dry smile. “it just so happened that assholes are my type, and i think he worked it out pretty quickly. so after only about two months of knowing each other, he asked me on a date. a real date. it was my first ever date too, god knows anton never took me out. but god, he was such a gentleman.

he picked me up, gave me flowers, wore a fucking tie. and he payed for everything, too. dinner at a four star restaurant, a movie, then out to a bar for drinks.

i knew i had fucked up when he kissed me that night.”

you regret it?

“not for a day. and that’s my mistake- i mean, i was supposed to hate him. i told myself i would hate him. so i wouldn’t feel bad about telling someone to kill him. i didn’t even know how he got out alive- he didn’t tell me about the khonshu shit until after we got married.

oh, our wedding,” you smiled again, a real one. “it was perfect. i was twenty one, marc was twenty three. we were so young. it was a small wedding, just some friends, neither of us invited our family. it was the best night of my life.

it was the night i met steven, too. i think the stress of the day must have triggered it. and that was it- there was marc, and there was steven.”

didn’t it take a while to get used to?

the corridor began to open up, getting slightly wider by the meter. still - there was no end to it in sight.

“it did and it didn’t. i knew for a while there was something happening to him, he would disappear, look confused all the time. i knew it was a matter of time until something changed. and then came steven, perfect steven.

he changed so much- it was like dating all over again. he was even more perfect than marc, stupid english accent included. but, naturally, abuthing that’s perfect must come to an end.”

hathor sighed. and it gave you the impression, just for a moment, that she already knew the whole story. that she was humouring you by letting you tell it. her sigh, sad and resigned, almost confirmed that she knew what was coming.

“the-” you stopped. your voice had broken, and your feet no longer moved. hathor continued for a few paces before looking back at you.

i understand, but if there’s any time you need to tell this, it’s now.

“you know?” you voiced your suspicions.

take into account which god i am, my dear. there is no one else i could chose, but you.

you swallowed. “what’s the point of talking about it if you already know?”

you have been born again. revived. would you like to carry this, this horrible vendetta against someone who has done nothing but love you, for the rest of your new life?

“no.”

then voice it. i can take this pain from you, if you only ask me too. i can help you.

you bit your tongue, looking down at your feet and kicking around a few of the loose rocks. hathor waited.

“the baby was supposed to be born just after my twenty-third birthday.”

a beat. hathor didn’t reply.

“but he didn’t live past twelve weeks.”

you looked back up at hathor, anxious for a reply. she didn’t give you one, only nodding.

“i don’t- i don’t know what i did. i was waiting until i could get a scan, tell marc, have it done properly, you know? but when i went to my appointment, i knew. she didn’t say anything, she just looked. then she left, got the doctor to come in.

he said that the baby had died, that they weren’t sure of the cause, but it was a boy. that my baby boy had died.”

tears threatened your eyes. never - never - had you spoken about this before. not even with marc.

“i went home, with a hatred in my heart. the next few days were the worst. i was grieving a child no one knew i even had. the blood was horrible, it hurt so badly. i told marc i was on my period. fuck, for all he knew i was.

and then my baby was gone. and i hated marc.”

why did you hate him?

you shrugged. “i have no idea. i needed someone to blame and marc was the easiest. that’s when it all went downhill, you know? i wanted him to be there for me, for something he didn’t even know happened. and when he wasn’t, i blew up at him. and he blew up at me.

and that was it, for three years. this horrible hatred towards each other, me hating marc for something he knew nothing about, and marc hating me for every other reason.

he hated me the most for making him stay a mercenary. he wanted out, he wanted a normal life in the suburbs with a dog and a big house and maybe, one day, a child.

but i can’t have that. i don’t want that kind of normal - not when i was so close to it and lost it. so i pushed him into this world. i made him take jobs and work himself to death, even when i found out about khonshu. i made him do it.

and that’s why we’re here. because i told him to follow khonshu here. and now look what i’ve done.”

hathor took two, wide steps towards you, and cradled your face in her hands.

you have done nothing that makes you inhumane. none of this mess is you fault. khonshu would have gotten marc here one way or another. anyone in your shoes would be the same.

her hands were warm. you felt a tear fall, running underneath her fingers. “but i’ve been so horrible. i’m a monster - if not for this, for everything else.”

hathor shook her head. you are a human being.

there was silence as you cried and hathor wiped your tears. at least two minutes passed - but it didn’t matter to you. harrow could come running around the corner and you wouldn’t bat an eyelash.

hathor took a deep breath, looking to her left along the corridor. she opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, another figure appeared.

is now a bad time, human?

you flinched at the rough edge in khonshu’s voice. “what do you want?”

what do i want? there’s a long list.

even through your tears, your patience thinned. “seriously?”

hathor took her hands from your face, turning to look at khonshu. enough of your riddles. just tell her.

the unmistakable sound of footsteps, running, drew your attention. they were getting closer.

i don’t think i have to say a word, actually.

just as khonshu had finished, a figure appeared, coming around the twists and turns of the corridor.

your heart stopped.

marc looked around in a daze, eyes falling first on khonshu, then on hathor, then…

“y/n!”

just as he had stopped running, he started again, coming towards you like a lion out of his cage, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you off of your feet.

“oh baby,” he mumbled into your neck.

you had just reached - wrapping your arms around him in equal tightness, hands flying into his hair. oh, god. his hair - his curls, his skin - you’d never take it for granted again.

he pulled back, hands on your cheeks in a mirror image to hathor. his eyes locked into yours, brown irises melting into his pupils, filling with tears.

marc stuttered, trying to get several sentences out at once, before you hushed him.

“please, marc, we don’t have much time. harrow is gonna-”

“i know,” he nodded, eyes still not breaking from yours. “i know- baby, i know. please- please, just give me a minute. i never- i thought i’d never- oh, baby.”

he leaned in, moving his hands out of the way to rest his forehead against yours. he was hot - sticky with sweat and dirt and, although you didnt want to think about it, your blood.

“i know,” you whispered, closing your eyes. “marc, i know.”

barely having finished your sentence, he leaned in and kissed you.

it was like the first kiss all over again, and you supposed it was. hot, needy, passionate, desperate. you could live in this moment.

but the unmistakable sound of khonshu clearing his throat broke your kiss.

if you wouldn’t mind, harrow is about to release ammit. i’m sure your couples catch-up can wait another hour.

“yeah,” you nodded, breaking away, but marc was far more hesitant to let go.

“i can’t-” he looked around, paranoid. “i can’t do this, y/n. i just lost you, i can’t run the risk of losing you again, i’ve never- y/n, i can’t let you go, you’re everything to me, and if harrow- oh god, what did harrow do to you? i swear to god, the minute i see him, i’m gonna-”

he blinked. a beat.

“paranoid git never did know when to be quiet, did he?”

“oh, steven,” you threw your arms around him again. “fucking hell.”

steven, unlike marc, seemed far more willing to let you go. “love, i know, but if we don’t go now, we’re all gonna end up dead. please, we can do this all after, yeah?”

he took your hands in his, stilling your shaking fingers. he was so warm - always so warm.

“okay,” you nodded, looking between him and the gods beside you. “okay.”

-

you had severely underestimated how far harrow was willing to go. it had been what felt like hours, an unrelenting fight. you weren’t even sure when layla showed up, hoping to help you in any way she could.

but her attempts were futile; ammit was huge. really - huge, bigger than the pyramid behind her. khonshu had, as usual, gotten involved too, so that meant he was the same size, almost trampling you with every step he took.

you had tried. really, you had. you’d tried to use your new found avatar abilities to at least land something on harrow, but truth be told, you were failing. he’d hit you far more times that you’d even aimed for him, you were covered in cuts and rapidly forming bruises, you were sure your shoulder was dislocated.

but worst of all? your head wasn’t right. you weren’t sure what was wrong with it - it seemed fine every time you focused on identifying the issue, but every time you weren’t paying attention, it was there again. dizzy, a ringing in your eyes, everything a second or two behind; your vision lagging and cloudy. but just as you’d notice it, it was gone.

it was getting worse, too. you could see marc out of the corner of your eye; he was one to one with harrow. it would have made you anxious if you could properly focus on what was going on. but you couldn’t - your thought were scattered, a ringing back tenfold in your ears, the world had gone distant and hazy.

the doctors told you it was a concussion the next morning. layla had actually came in very handy, able to translate the man’s arabic into english for you.

he had told you that you’d sustained a massive head injury - you figured it would have been investigated, if you hadn’t been one of the people there last night.

‘there’ was all people could talk about. first the sky had gone backwards (you’d missed that part, thanks to being dead), then, out of nowhere, two ancient egyptian gods had appeared, destroying all the buildings in their wake, pyramids too.

it wasn’t that you couldn’t remember it. you could - it was clear in every aspect. it just didn’t feel like you’d been there at all. even the build up to it, every moment from when you’d stepped out of that pyramid, hand in hand with steven, hot air hitting your face;

it wasn’t you.

well, obviously it was you. but it wasn’t the same you. everything felt different, you didn’t have the same emotions you did before. the same key ones, yes, like how you felt about marc, and steven, and who you are as a person, but basic thing, like fear, and compassion? it was gone.

you’d have voiced this to a doctor if you could put ‘i died and got brought back to like by an ancient god, but not the same one who destroyed half of your city last night, sorry about that, by the way’ into layman’s terms.

trauma induced dissociation was enough of a label for you. it fit - everything just felt a little hazy, was all. not that you’d asked your doctor, a google search (excluding the resurrection part) had taken you to pages and pages about dissociation and how it’s normal to feel it after a traumatic event. you were pretty sure dying was a traumatic event.

and yes, you could bring it up to your doctor, he was payed to help you, after all. but there was a strange gnawing in the back of your head: that if you voiced this feeling, it would only get worse, and the happy ending you and your husband currently had would be shred in two because you couldn’t feel properly.

so instead, you listened to his professional diagnosis; a severe concussion, fractured rib, dislocated shoulder, several cosmetic wounds, and mental trauma that would be discovered at a later point, if you ever got around to voicing it to a doctor.

what a lovely shopping list, you thought.

-

it was three days before they let you out, and marc wasn’t getting out for another two after that. you’d had to beg him to even go to the hospital in the first place, but now he was getting the medical attention he’d needed for years, he seemed content in his hospital bed. not that he’d ever admit it.

with two days to yourself (not nights, you’d go back to the hospital and stay with marc), you decided to have the egyptian holiday you had come for.

the first stop was obvious; buy clothes. all of the ones you had were either covered in blood or halfway shredded. once you’d achieved this, in a new white linen sundress (cut below the knees to hide the still raw scars), you felt just slightly lost.

of course, you weren’t lost, you were always quick to get your bearings in new places - mercenary years had left you with a few skills, after all - and you kept yourself in a fairly small area, close to the hospital in case you got an emergency call.

no - the feeling of being lost came from deep down. ever since you’d come back to life it was the same, a strange longing for something you couldn’t quite put your finger on. something you felt you just had to have, maybe not right now, but in the near future. the hazy feeling had already begun to pass, you were sure google had served you well. but it left behind this in its wake, a new, even stranger feeling.

a breeze blew your hair lightly as you looked down the street in front of you. it was picturesque, all kinds of small shops and cafes as far as you could see. you could hear kids playing somewhere, a baby crying in the distance.

the lost-longing feeling piqued at this.

“oh.” you breathed. “oh.”

beside you, hathor, dressed in a golden, floor length dress and looking beautiful as ever, laughed.

oh, indeed. did you forget which god i am?

[yutafrita]

[09:22AM]

☾⋆｡ ๋࣭ ⭑˚ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

Pairing: Actor!Sungchan x Actress!Reader (she/her, femme presenting)

Warnings: Swearing, sexual references (18+), proceed with caution.

WC: approx. 1K

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ݁˖ . ݁ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁˖ . ݁

Your polite smile was stable as you sat at the interview seat, watching the same clip. This was the third interview this week that had brought the clip for you to force a reaction to, and god it was getting difficult to feign ignorance.

“Look at how gently he caresses her hair there folks!” The interviewer gushed. You jokingly rolled your eyes, shaking your head.

The clip was a behind the scenes feature of your latest film. Your co-star, Sungchan, had noticed a small piece of confetti from your scene got stuck to your hair. He carefully picked it out, and as he did so, you were talking and laughing together. It was completely natural, but the action was clipped out and plastered everywhere online.

Yes, he may have fucked you stupid in your dressing room afterwards, but that was besides the point.

“No, no!” You giggled to the interviewer, trying to stay focused on squashing the rumors. “I am extremely professional- plus, I wouldn’t want to date another actor. We are just friends- he was taking out the confetti from my hair.”

“Well, he’s also a singer…” the interviewer noted, earning oooohhh’s from the audience.

“That doesn’t cancel out the acting, sorry!” You raised your hand in defeat, that fake smile still scrawled across your face. “I will say, he did a great job on set. All of the crew loved working with him, and I can’t wait for you all to check out the movie!”

After the interview, your manager and you quickly maneuvered to your last task of the day- a promotional photoshoot with Sungchan.

“How did the interview go?” He asked. You two stood on set in front of an ornately decorated table in costumes complimentary to your movie characters. The lighting was being adjusted, so that gave you two time to speak casually.

“Terrible. Everyone keeps gushing over that stupid clip.”

“Hm, good thing the cameras weren’t allowed in the dressing rooms,” he whispered in your ear. You frowned, holding back a glare.

“You are so conceited.”

“Did I mention how wonderful you look today?” He turned his head fully towards you, his stupid, infectious smile on full display. You looked ahead, hoping most people on set weren’t picking up on your conversation.

“This is why people are suspicious,” you sighed. Your celebrity image was usually that of a sweet, but very serious professional. You hated having to do interviews as it was, but the studio for this recent film was threatening to blacklist you if you didn’t.

The clip to you wasn’t anything spectacular, either. Sungchan had snuck over to your place later that night, and you were snuggled under your sheets together as you, for the fourth time, rewatched it.

“You look so pretty,” he commented, zooming in on your wide eyes that were staring up at him.

“Hm, you’re looking at me in that way an old man looks at his wife,” you teased, in turning zooming in on the soft gaze he had set on you. He was beautiful, this there was no doubt. His eyes were soft and wide, and so easily conveyed his emotions.

“I’ll make you my wife, one day,” he muttered, his voice buried in your neck as if he was embarrassed.

“Yknow, with both of us being famous, our marriage would only last a month.”

“Then that’ll be the best month of my life,” he kissed your cheek, his hand gently motioning your chin to meet his eyes. You were avoiding these eyes- you felt like jello when you were pinned under them. He was needy though, and you gave into his wish to meet his eyes. To the public, you were stern and focused. Sungchan though, you were anything but. You could feign ignorance to any number of talk show hosts, but it was getting beyond difficult pretending that you didn’t have intense feelings for Sungchan.

“Your fans would kill me.”

“I wouldn’t let them,” Sungchan defended. Unlike a lot of young statelets, he had a solid head on his shoulders. It was one of the many things you liked about him. He was clear to set boundaries whenever possible with his fans and with the media, but he still held a lovable and warm persona. You could believe that he would do his best.

Your manager, though, wasn’t so impressed.

“You’ll be over him once you stop promoting the film together,” she rolled her eyes, typing away on her phones.

You crossed your arms, staring out of the window of the airplane. You were taking a flight from New York to Toronto after shooting a cameo in a TV show, and were hoping to see Sungchan before he had to fly back to Los Angeles for a recording session.

Your manager was wrong, of course.

Even after you both moved on to new projects, it was almost gross how often you would try to communicate and be with each other. It was a wonder still that no one had caught any photos of you two out together. Sungchan was getting more bold by sometimes not wearing sunglasses or a hat when out with you. He wanted to show you off, he’d say. And so, years after you both privately committed to the other, you finally walked the red carpet as an official couple.

Permatag! @nini0620

[screamlet]

2024 Tumblr Top 10

tagged by @rcmclachlan​!!! what a fun journey through time, especially because this is the first time i've been in a tumblr-centric fandom... ever.

Share your top 10 tumblr posts from last year! Visit this site, scroll down to "Find your Tumblr Top 10," type in your username, and select 2024. When you get the results, simply click "Share to Tumblr" and you'll get an auto-generated draft for a post with links and previews. Make any adjustments you see fit.

---

1. 558 notes - Nov 9 2024

Another hospital room. Buck takes a deep breath and closes his eyes again, letting it out and hoping he gets back to sleep. It doesn’t happen, though, because his brain catches up to his eyes: Maddie, wearing a yellow paper hospital mask, a hand anxiously on her belly, sitting in the chair next to him with that too-familiar oh-thank-god-you’re-finally-awake face… and Tommy leaning in the doorway.

this is from break and be mended, the 4.5k bucktommy fix-it fic i vomited up literally two days after the breakup aired. the spirit (of anger and spite) moved me i guess

2. 406 notes - Sep 17 2024

so imagine: s8e1, many bees, zero tommy until another last 5 minutes of the episode, the jeep pulling up to this small house...

this little whatever from a week before the s8 premiere when we thought the bees would be something and/or tommy would do anything and/or we would ever see tommy’s fucking house. the dodgeball of apollo missed me on every count.

3. 400 notes - Oct 4 2024

“well we’re so happy the co-pilot’s awake! everything’s gonna be just fine and we can land this plane now” god don’t they know they’re in part two of a three-part season opener, they did this to themselves

this random post from an episode live blog and it wouldn’t have gone anywhere without @dadvans​ and the assist, god this still makes me laugh

4. 232 notes - Dec 8 2024

It’s not until the elevator starts moving that he hears it through the doors: “Tommy! Tommy, wait—Tommy!”

the fic post for a wolf without a foot, my 34k bucktommy fix-it fic that just... 😐 i might write a buck interstitial to this one because buck’s (lack of) presence in it continues to bug me. no promises!!!!

5. 222 notes - Aug 28 2024

The plan doesn't involve kissing Evan, this man he's met three times. Disaster rescue, work tour, basketball disaster, Evan's apartment right now—four times. This is only the fourth time he's ever laid eyes on Evan Buckley, but Evan Buckley hasn't fucking blinked since he stepped into the room. Has Tommy?

for a random wip wednesday, i posted the whole tommy pov scene of The First Kiss from what are your intentions? and it’s still getting notes four and a half months later. this poor man!!! what’s a terrified gay to do!!!!!

6. 214 notes - Dec 11 2024

Tommy has one arm firmly around Buck and one finger pointing at Sal. "I'm from LA. When the hell would I have seen a live chicken?"

aw, this cute @118dailydrabble​ where buck learns about Maurice the Chicken while hanging out with tommy, sal, and bobby.

7. 213 notes - Dec 20 2024

Buck reads to himself: If my grief is violent enough, perhaps he will come back to life again... "Mayday, mayday, mayday, companies respond to an explosion at Harbor Station."

the beginning of blow up that chopper!!!!

8. 204 notes - Nov 16 2024

"Yeah, pretty much. You got some good parts, though. The really good ones." He swallows past the lump in his throat, and means it when he says, "I wouldn't give you any less." "But I wanted all of them," Evan says. "You gave me less, Tommy. Don't think you did me some favor, here. You didn't. You gave me less."

a wip wednesday excerpt from a wolf without a foot, gahhhhhhh yes it still kills me, too

9. 201 notes - Nov 26 2024

my favorite part of the bucktommy breakup fic explosion is seeing each writer focus on THE thing that bugs them most about this breakup and/or breakups in general...

"confessions” aired almost exactly two months ago and man has this fandom been a fucking ride since then

10. 198 notes - Dec 9 2024

unfortunately kinley cafe posits a REALLY interesting coffee shop au where the fluffy gay owners break up and a whole neighborhood has to scheme to get them back together so they don't sell the cafe

where is this coffee shop au!!!!!!!!!!!

tagging: YOU, YES, YOU

[mikeyss1ut]

I have a idea for Amber and fem reader. They have been dating for two years and everything that happens in scream 5 but everyone suspects reader is the killer because she has not been attacked by ghostface. And before they found of ghostface they accuse reader saying that she’s ghostface because she hasn’t been attacked. And Amber goes I know after you said that and shoots Liv. Then I’m the kitchen scene Sam Gale and Sidney try to attack Amber but reader steps in front to protect her. They are all shocked but reader says oh no I’m not part of this I knew what they were doing but I don’t want you hurting my gf. Reader knows about Amber being ghostface and her plan with Richie but Amber wants her gf to stay out of it. And can you make reader Sam and Tara’s younger sister a few months younger then Tara? And go from there? You can change it up if you need! :) love your stories btw

“WE CANT HAVE IT ALL NOT ANYMORE”

“Ok! So , y/n just expose yourself and say it’s you because we all know it’s you!” Mindy says

“Mindy cut the shit , it’s not her. Amber hadn’t been attacked or Liv so fuck off.” Tara replies

“So? Livs to dumb to kill anyone. And Amber well.. actually?” They all turn to Amber.

“Oh my god, are you kidding me? It’s obviously liv!! Why the fuck does she have blood on her hands!” Amber yells

“fuck you Amber! I’m not the fucking killer ! It’s your fucking girlfriend!!” Liv screams

“I know it’s not you. But I know it’s not her either.” Amber pulls a gun and shoots her right in the head.

You knew. You did but it still hurt.

Everyone ran.

“Y/n! Let’s go!” Tara said

You weren’t ghost face you didn’t hurt anyone but your weren’t leaving. You just gave her a sad look.

“Oh god” Tara cries and runs away.

Amber had practiced with you that when she revealed herself you were to go hide behind her. You did just that.

But then Sidney started beating your girlfriends ass and you didn’t like that.

You wanted her to stop , so you don’t know why you did it . You went in front of her.

“Stop! Please stop!” You yell at Gale. Amber pushes you out of the way to make sure your safe.

And you don’t know why you did it . It’s not like you were gonna actually do it. But you grabbed the gun Amber dropped and pointed it to Gale.

“It’s you? The other one?” Gale said confused

“N- n- no! I it’s not me! But just please stop !” You cried just then Sam must have came up behind you because you fell , you must have hit your head to. Because you woke up in the back of the car. Ambers car.

“We did it! We killed everyone! You distracted them! “ Amber said.

“Tara? Sam?” You whispered loud enough for her to hear it.

She went quiet.

“Sams dead. Tara’s not.” She moves and you see Tara in the back with you she’s not taped up or anything, she’s bawling her eyes out but she doesn’t seem like she’s really scared either.

“Figured you could keep this sister, but if she does something stupid I will have to kill her.” Amber says

You shook her head and went over to her.

“Why aren’t you doing anything?” You asked Tara. You weren’t mad you didn’t want her to do anything you wanted it to be you and Amber till the ends of the earth you were just confused.

“I already lost Sam, I get to keep you. I don’t want to lose myself . So I’m just gonna listen. “ she says blankly.

THIS HAS BEEN IN MY DRAFTS FOR DAYS I WILL PROBABLY RE DO IT LATER BECAUSE ITS TERRIBLE BUT I DONT REALLY CARE ITS NOT FINISHED EITHER I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO WRAP IT UP BUT I FIGURED YALL CAN FEED OFF THIS FOR A MINUTE ITS ALSO POOR WRITING BUT I HAVE BEEN IN A WRITING SLUMP SO IDC

[angelfacemjj]

I was goin to pull this on an aro or ace culture inbox, but I stopped n said “nam, too intersectional to put in only one space” so I'm typin this all to post here now.

Btw, content warning for romance and sex mentions.

All this patifaria started yesterday, when the school general (cuz I study in a civica-military school, so we got a general) made me n my classmates watch a movie (I think it was “the brightest places”, “the bright places”, smthn like that. I forgot even the portuguese version of that name, for y'all to have an idea) for yellow september/suicide prevention month.

Until the fateful moment I'll talk about later, all right; it was really selling me that it was about awareness for suicide, with all that setting in yellow, and the boy savin the girl from jumpin off the bridge, n tal & tal & tal. Aí, when I think it's a no: unsolicited romance.... *Sigh.*

It was horrible, becuz I didn't want no romance bullshit, and to get it worse these two little pieces of shit were kissin in a french kiss. “But Angelle! How did you know their kiss was more intimate if your coward ass was turning your face around becuz you was cringing so bad?” ......The 5th grader spirit of my class didn't let that shit slide. Nuh-uh, their immature asses would not be seeing a fuckin tongue kiss and be normal about that. If they did that, that would never be a brazilian school. Not even in a thousand years.

And the worst wasn't even that, it was the fact that this movie had a sex scene two millimeters of minutes later.

Now imagine: you. In an auditorium. Full, IMPISTIATED! Of brazilian middle and high schoolers, with the maturity of 5th grade children... And all of the sudden: The general pauses the movie to skip the scene, and the next thing you know is that the female protagonist is making a pleasure face on the fuckin screen...

Only God... Only God and anyone who went through somethin like this knows the embarrassment I felt at this very fuckin second, and I cannot understand how these niggas choose to play a movie like that to a bunch of hormonal teenagers (n not hormonal in the sexual sense, I mean it in the “shrimp head” way!). At least they skipped that scene, WHICH IS THE BARE MINIMUM!

Enfim, resumin the opera, I got no classes for the second half of the day, I got slapped with unwanted allorose shit, and of break, the ending was weak asf, bcs I still don't know if that nigga killed himself of if it was an accident.

I just get leñed, huh, I deserve it.... 🤦🏽‍♀️

[fractualized]

Time for a surprise The Man Who Stopped Laughing post! Here I was all mad that Jason disappeared in TMWSL #11, and then Rosenberg basically decided Gotham War: Red Hood #2 is a TMWSL side story with a lot I was not expecting!

I still hate that there's no effort at a legible timeline but all the surprises in this issue are helping me move past it. (OK I can't lie I'm always going to hate it at least lowkey.)

More thoughts:

So basically the Gotham War stuff is all happening before/during TMWSL #11 meaning the two Jokers were just hanging around Gotham for the two months Bruce was asleep I KNOW I SAID I'D STOP I'LL STOP. Jason strayed into Gotham War at first partly because of his search for Joker, asking the men Selina has recruited for clues about his location, but then he got more involved, enough that GW Red Hood #2 starts with Joker trying to find out where Jason is.

What an interesting turn!

The note does get to Jason, via a dead body (laid to rest by Scarecrow, not Joker).

Ohhh this is a twist. Last month in TMWSL, Ravager gave Manhunter a list of locations from Jason, places to look for Joker, and now we know they were provided by Joker himself?! Because he wants to make sure Jason finds him? And is probably plain insulted that someone who was pursuing him so single-mindedly suddenly stopped? hahaha

Jason says he'll meet up with Ravager in a couple days, but he misses his appointment because, as you may know, Zur-influenced Bruce decides to Clockwork Orange him so he'll feel debilitating fear whenever his adrenaline ratchets up. But Ravager isn't the only one who notices Jason's absence.

Joker did say back in the hospital in TMWSL that he might have plans for Jason, but I took that more as a taunt. I didn't know he actually was depending on Jason being around. (Though given the time jump, that could be a recently created plan.) Also, "Batman can't have him! I TOOK CUSTODY IN THE DIVORCE."

And look at Joker all ready to go with his hat! And the umbrella. The umbrella detail kills me.

It's also just really funny to me that like, sometimes Catwoman in Gotham War acts parental toward Jason. Here, Joker is intent on finding him. In the following pages, Harvey hears what happened to Jason and says Jason is "more one of us than he knows. And he's had a rough life because of that." And then Scarecrow comes upon Jason during a Missing Scene that takes place during Catwoman #58 when Jason tries to save a little girl from a fire...

Just when I'm laughing that Jason is everybody's blorbo, this happens.

MOMMY. Batman is Jason's Daddy, and Joker is Jason's Mommy. Oh my god. Rosenberg, you magnificent glowing sunrise.

Joker chases Scarecrow away like a disobedient cat with his squirtgun, and then turns back to Jason.

I think Grundy's pee could probably still ward Scarecrow off. Also is Joker mad Jason didn't tell his parents they have a granddaughter? :(

Joker again insisting Jason is important for his plans. Joker saying he's going to fix Jason, his "sweet boy." Is Joker of all people going to undo what Bruce did? That would be pretty hilarious, something to hang over Bruce's head later.

But whatever it is, it's not going to happen now, of course. Joker leaves Jason under the beam so the scene can play out as it does in Catwoman #58, in which Jason did not mention Scarecrow or Joker. I'm not sure if that's just because he still wants to take care of his own business or that he's not sure they were real.

I'm assuming all this means Jason will in fact appear in the TMWSL finale, though suddenly afraid of everything, which will be kind of weird for people only reading that story. Then again, maybe Bruce will end up fixing Jason himself in the last GW issue on Halloween, with how weird and inconsistent the GW writing has been.

Regardless, this particular issue was an unexpected delight, and it's boosted my assumption that the end of TMWSL #11 is a fakeout and this Joker is very much the real one. Too much would hit different in a bad way if he wasn't…

[isalisewrites]

hello god of world building, lore, and plot execution. you are one of my favorite authors, i adore your writing so much and admire and respect all the effort i can tell gets put into each word. i have a tomarry fic ive been toying with for months now and i feel like i have a lot of the pieces, or at least enough of them to not get too caught up in the rest right now, but im having a hard time sitting down and using any of it. im finding it extremely difficult to not be a perfectionist in my planning when it comes to writing, so im constantly overthinking all of my world building and lore that i want to incorporate and how i want to insert any of it into the plot to the point that i cant let myself move on to actually fleshing out my plot beyond the bare bones, let alone actually writing a damn bit of it. when i do try and write anything anyways i get so stuck on trying to make everything perfect and publishable on the first go that it's killing both my motivation and my enthusiasm for the story itself. i was SO excited for this fic, but i almost feel like ive ruined it for myself by picking it apart so thoroughly and still not being satisfied enough with anything. how do i get out of my own head to actually make progress and enjoy it? i feel like ive tried every hack and trick and tip in existence but i just cant pull my head out of my ass with this one no matter how or what i try.

Oh my god, I'm not a god at world building. At least, I have never felt that way. I've always struggled with that in my own original novels. However, I do believe Terrible, But Great has been training me for a day when I can do it for my own original novel/series.

But I am honored by your praise and respect.

I am so glad you asked this question. I'll let you in on a little writing secret, all right? I'm gonna use some cryptic language on a couple things to avoid spoilers for other readers.

I didn't know Scarcrux existed until I wrote chapter 20.

I didn't know "god 1, the one connected with a phoenix" existed until I wrote chapter 18.

I didn't know "god 2, the golden one" existed until I wrote chapter 24.

I didn't know Marcus was trans until the beginning of Arc Two.

I didn't know who Alphard, Quintus, Sebastian, Marcus, Roland, and Simon were in the beginning. I didn't know their struggles. I didn't know their families. I didn't know their pain.

When I posted chapter 1 on December 15th, 2021, I did not know that horcruxes were not the source of soulmates. It worked out because of what I established in chapter 47.

I completed Arc One without knowing everything that would come about in Arc Two and Three. Even to this day, I do not know what most of Arc Five will entail, but I have some hints and I am laying threads down in the anticipation that I will know later on.

I did not flesh out my plot from the beginning. I started with the intent of wanting a couple of skeleton milestones.

I needed a parselmouth reveal. (Chapter 12)

I needed Harry to hit a breaking point. (Chapters 15 - 17)

I needed the ultimate fight to the death between Tom and Harry. (Chapter 18 aka The Twink Fight)

I needed them to become friends. (Chapter 20)

I needed to Tom to hit a breaking point. (Chapters 25 - 28)

I needed Tom to get his relief. (Chapter 29)

I needed Harry to realize his feelings. (Chapter 41)

I needed the patronus reveal. (Chapter 44)

I needed Tom to go through a sexual awakening. (Chapter 41, 45, 46)

I needed a catalyst for Tom. (Chapter 48)

I needed the first kiss. (Unknown Chapter)

The plot has been solely focused on Tom and Harry, even though it doesn't always feel like it. Everything is designed around them.

It's designed to break Tom Riddle. It's designed to rebuild him.

There are other points that I knew I needed early on, but I cannot reveal them because they're in Arc Three. So many of these scenes above started out as small little snippets, little outline dumps of scenes that I knew I wanted for the story.

And then I wrote and wrote and wrote.

So many younger or less experienced writers feel like they HAVE to plan everything out before they begin writing. They believe every detail has to be ironed out. Gotta know every detail of the backstories. Gotta know all the subplots and the every grain of sand in the world.

You don't.

There is literally HUNDREDS of things in my story that I did not know until I wrote the chapter and then edited said chapter. There are things I didn't plan for on so many levels.

In the beginning of chapter 29, you get a memory of Harry from the past. I didn't know about that until I had already finished the chapter and edited it. I did not know.

In chapter 48, Tom does something to a man in the middle of the fight and it shakes him. I did not plan for that. I did not know about it until literally the day I posted it after I'd edited it. YESTERDAY. I only found out this YESTERDAY. I had to edit today's chapter to accommodate that change.

Writing is an act of discovery. Writing is a journey.

If you wish to 'pull your head out of your ass,' my only suggestion is to begin writing without being worried that you're going to ruin something because you started writing. No such thing, luv. Creating is not an act of destruction. I have scrapped a lot of writing. I have rewritten nearly EVERYTHING. My cuts document contains 6,000 words. I have a lot more ahead that I have scrap and rewrite entirely because of how much lore Arc Two developed.

Just write, luv.

Enjoy the process.

If you're worried about posting, then just hold off for a bit. Get to the 50k mark, the 100k mark, and then look back. See if you're getting everything you want down. Write out of order.

The process of doing a comprehensive edit will change your life. (I'm not talking about a little proofread for typos; I'm talking about rebuilding sentences, tightening them, expanding them, expanding scenes, reordering scenes if need be, etc)

There are no hacks, no tricks, and no tips that will get you through writing.

You simply must write.

Let go of the planning and start enjoying yourself. Write. If, at first, the scene doesn't go in the direction you want it to go, then you can rewrite it or edit it in the future. Your story isn't written in stone. Your story is made out of clay, easily moldable to your desires and wishes.

Now use your excitement as fuel to write. Let the joy of discovery be what keeps you going, rather than the need to know it all in the beginning. That's impossible. That's asking too much of your conscious mind. Your subconscious will likely know more than you do. I just figured out something about Simon that I had laid out ages ago, yet I hadn't realized I'd done so until recently.

Go write. Write and write. Put your planner down. Decide what are must haves in your fic. Create boundaries that your characters are not allowed to cross. (Mine was Harry could not leave Hogwarts in TBG and in Elysium's Sanctuary, Voldemort wasn't allowed to kill the Dursleys)

I look forward to what you create in the future.

Because no matter what you create, it will be good.

Get to work. You can do it.

Isa

[varvaramitsuko25]

Meet my AU Smiling Critters: New Life

It's actually my AU crossover (Smiling Critters + Danny Phantom)

Now let me explain about what is it about..ehem..

So

In my AU Smiling Critters: New Life is about:

Dogday was 12 years old at the time, well, he was still little like Varvara (Angel “as he calls her now”), but she was 3 years older than him, he then promised her as a child that when he grew up, he would find her and then will already propose to meet. She, of course, thought that this might not happen, she said that we’ll see...whether we can see each other or not..

a week later, the girl moved to another city because her parents quarreled and her mother took her to a quiet town where she could find normal friends, since her mother did not approve of some kind of dog being friends with her, and her father The girls were not against her friendship with him and others.

The next week DogDay came to the house where she used to live, he wanted to call her, but her father came out instead and said that she moved to the city ahead of time... and all because of this quarrel, to be honest, he was upset that Varvara moved to another city without even saying goodbye.

Some time passes, DogDay did not forget about her and when he was a little older he noticed that CatNap had become somehow strange, CatNap began to look at people as if he was not happy with them, he became very silent and always says “The prototype is our god ...he must be worshiped...and whoever rejects him...will be punished." The smiling friends then also noticed this, one of them, of course, did not listen to him like the others, and after that... they began to disappear every day. DogDay noticed how his friends were slowly disappearing, he realized that something was wrong... and when he found out what happened to them... and as it turned out, Catnap was killing them in his house.

Having seen the terrible picture, DogDay then began to be afraid of him, without having time to say a word, he felt the soporific red smoke and for that he fell asleep. CatNap didn’t kill him, but simply took him to his basement to tie him up there. But The next week DogDay tried to free himself from those ropes, and he did it, he also tried to get out of this place and find someone who will help him. So he did escaped from the window (in the basement was the window) and goes to Varvara's father to ask him for help, so Varvara's father saw him in very bad state and he treat his wounds..and after that he called the police and explained everything about what happened in CatNap's house. When the police arrived at the address where CatNap lived, they saw a terrible picture, but they did not find the killer himself because he fled the crime scene.

When 2-3 weeks passed after the murder of DogDay's friends, he was very tired, broken and very hungry, since he had not eaten anything since what happened, but he only ate food little by little. Varvara’s father temporarily sheltered DogDay so that he could receive treatment, if DogDay’s parents see this, they can definitely start moving to another city

DogDay grew up and CatNap disappeared somewhere. In one day Varvara's father talked to DogDay about he already grown up and he should move to the Amity park to find his daughter and live with her, he did accepted him when DogDay was a teenage boy who was in love with his angel.

So Varvara's father explained about the city and about how dangerous with paranormal activity this city is, DogDay get it so in that day Varvara's father bought for him a train ticket to go there. In two days DogDay packed his stuff and moved to this city to find his angel.

+ When he arrives he thought "I can't appear to her like this...I need to practice...or I’ll walk around like this in a terrible state.." DogDay decided to stay at a hotel where there was a gym, and so another month passed.

When he was completely ready, he decided to change his outer clothes. When he was ready, he collected his things from the hotel again and left there. And so begins DogDay's future in Amity Park.

His design and his form right now:

CatNap's design:

[scarabjewels]

This Quick Vulnerable Therapy Essay:

The Words That I Tried to Find Everywhere Came From A Video Game Series I Last Saw when I was in 5th Grade

God of War.

And it came from the most unexpected character.

I remember having heard of God of War from my rich classmates in 5th Grade. They had a PSP, and the first image of the game I ever saw was Medusa('s "assets").

Probably one or two years later, I found the game again in one of a movie collection of a pirated DVD. It was around 6 hours of cutscenes. I sat on it on a weekend, and I still don't remember much. All I remember is that Kratos killed the Gods of Olympus out of revenge for killing his family ( and it turns out he was tricked into killing them, like that Hercules story). I was a mythology fanatic, so obviously I really liked it.

I remember the game having really good enough quality, and I also found Kratos extremely terrifying. I was used to reading and watching mythology depictions that were way too cruel for a 9 year old. But I guess I was...weirdly smart at that age, I didn't glamorize it or felt sometimes of negativity toward it, I just understood it thoroughly. But Kratos SCARED ME because he had no humanity, even for a God or a wounded soul. He had no mercy at all.

I forgot about all of that and continued to grow up. I made a lot of mistakes and lived with fear, guilt, and shame. I would be self sabotaging everything with my actions, and most were of my awareness, some were out of undisciplined defences and others were small undesirable acts that pile up into a bigger boulder for me to bear. I went through my worst for a good amount of time. It worsened so bad that it did physically affect me. Body dysmorphia, worsened pathological lying, self-harm, self abuse, and more that I could not share. It bled through me and everyone around me.

I would lose new friendships in only a few months, extremely attached or immensely distanced, and unable to enjoy beautiful moments.

Now, I watched the cutscenes of Kratos in Valhalla, literally a compilation entitled "Kratos' Therapy".

I can't compare my suffering to his, but some of his statements were relatable to me.

I dont want to spoil too much of the game, so I'll keep it short. He shared the story of the boat captain, of He slew a hydra by the throat who had eaten the boat of a crew. Somehow, the captain survived. Mimir (whom he was telling the story to) asked why he remembers this captain so significantly after having killed thousand, Kratos, with the tone of a war veteran, recounts how terrified the captain was, and in relief as he thought Kratos would save him. Instead, he took dropped him to his death, and "it was all for nothing.". Kratos replied that he was an innocent man Kratos bore no hatred towards, but he had killed him anyway. "To be so casually cruel..." those words were so powerful to me.

I do think a lot of us had at some point was at a point of seeing ourselves do something we do not like, and when we do it long enough, we start to drop down into the abyss of it all. We start to lose sight of who we are and what we are doing.

Kratos' final scene are all of the words I wanted to say to myself but could never formulate into words. Yeah, that's coming from a writer.

"What can I say to you? I remember how it felt to take the throne. All that it meant. And all that it did not. A God of war... a God of pain. Of suffering. Of destruction. The Norns said I chase a redemption that I know I can never deserve. What does that make me? God of fools. A God of... hope. "When all else is lost..." You lost everything. And everyone. And you became... There is no forgiving you. You chose... I chose. What now? Should I, this same man, should I sit? Take? Proclaim? Lead? Place myself in service? In service. Should I... lose everything and everyone... will there still be enough left inside so that I do not become you? I do not know. But I have hope. You are cruel, and arrogant, and selfish. But... you are more than that. You have always been more than what others saw. You are more than that."

Kratos confronting his younger self in the Valhalla DLC

Full scene can be watched here:

See, a literal God of War forgives himself and reclaims the throne as a God of Hope. He literally killed (brutally too) beings, people, and in a lot ways, his soul. If he could forgive himself and be happy, so could any of us (well I still do not condone 'violating' people though, even Kratos and the OG Greek Mythology Ares do not condone such actions, remember that). I do implore people to seek help, and I do think once you do that, as said in The Alchemist: "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."

Kratos wanted change, and he was literally destined for it! Oh man , this is probably the sign for you to romanticize your life, especially for people who want that positive change.

[nerdyvocals]

Wow, it's been like two months since I posted the Descendants 2 quotes list, and its been a month since @look-at-those-niceass-rocks and I watched D3. We're planning on watching Rise of Red tonight, so it feels like an apt time to give you the unhinged things we had to say about Descendants 3. As always, the dumbassery is under the cut. Please enjoy!

Me: They have a bigger budget but somehow everything is Worse

Bee: Her wig is worse Me: ... I don't know who you're talking about, but you're right

Mal: Not a tentacle in sight Me: That is the opposite of kinky

Honorable Mention: A much too long interlude of us trying to figure out what the timeline here is, because at times it feels like they're all much older, but others it seems like D2 *just* happened.

Bee: DOUG WHAT IS YOUR HAIR Me: Bad!

Ben: *proposing* Me: You are seventeen (I think???) Bee: You are in high school (probably???)

Me: That ring is hideous Bee: What is that leaf thing on the side???

Insert various squealing over how cute the twins are

Me: Ben, how many times do we need to have this discussion about your suits? 1. Buttons, 2. If you're not wearing a tie, you don't do the buttons that high.

Ben and Mal: *discussing closing the Isle permanently* Bee: This argument makes no sense! It would make more sense the other way around Me: Its so out of character for the both of them

Audrey: *turns Mal into a hag* Me: I feel like we need to drink for that Mal: *speaks* Bee: I feel like we need to chug for that

Audrey: *singing Happy Birthday in cursive* Bee: Oh god, she's a theatre kid

Mal (returned to normal on the Isle): Evil magic doesn't work here! Me: See, they can never decide if they're gonna stick with that Bee: Follow your own fucking rules, I beg of you

Us noting how weird the movie is, like they're trying to be grittier but the script is the most "Disney Channel" the franchise had been at that point

Mal: How big is that dog? Bee: CAN I PET THAT DAAAWG

Bee: I think I am just the right amount of drunk to appreciate this movie for what it is

Bee: *about Hades* He is so hot Me: I would do ungodly things to that man- pun unintended

Me: Also, are we just gonna gloss over the fact that Mal is a fucking demigod???

Me: So the canon up until this point (implied in the movies and explicit in the books) is that none of the Villain kids know who their other parents are, and all Mal knew was that her father was human and Maleficent was ashamed of that

Me, two seconds later: Hades had two fairy demigod children; Mal Bertha and Nico Di Angelo Bee: *chokes on drink*

Bee: Now I know there's a dramatic song here because I vaguely remember a dramatic song- oh there it is

Bee: What. The fuck. Is happening? Me: Something I'm still way too sober for

Hades: If it gets wet, it's game over! Us, simultaneously: Me too- *wheezing laughter*

Audrey: Sleep is too good for you! Ben: *drops like a sack of potatoes* Bee: Oh shit, she killed him!

Octo-Uma: *exists* Bee: Oh the budget is back!

Uma: Guarantee me that every single villain kid that wants to can get off the Island Mal: I can't do that Me: You literally can? Bee: You're the queen??

Me: Harry's costume is the only one in this scene that I like Bee: You're right Me: He should be more tits out Bee: He should have a boob window!

Bee: She (Evie) would make a great preschool teacher

Audrey: *pets Chad* Bee: He's gonna have some interesting kinks to figure out when he's older

*In the hallway* Uma: Hold up! What's this? Bee: Bad set dressing?

Mal: I wonder what fried octopus tastes like? Bee: Like you haven't eaten her before Me: *chokes on drink*

Bee: Evie is literally just sitting there looking pretty and I respect the fuck out of her for that

*During Night Falls* Me: Did they say "bitch, splat?" Bee: I think they said "pitch black", but I also heard "bitch, splat" Me: That's a better lyric

Bee: Evie actually invented gentle parenting. I'd call her mommy Me:

Uma: *talking about Audrey after reading her diary* Bee: Oh, they're in love. Like I know they haven't met, but they're in love

Bee: Oh no, my lesbian! (note: I cannot for the life of me remember what the fucking context for this was)

*In Evie's sewing room* Me: PAUSE Bee: Oh, she's (Evie) so cute! Me: Oh, I was trying to see what kind of sewing machine that is, I think it's a pfaff Bee: ...Does that count as costuming? Me: Enough for a drink, yes- Oh actually, that might be a Bernina

Me (about Evie and Doug): "I miss Bee and [Husband]" "We have Bee and [Husband] at home" The Bee and [Husband] at home

*During the introduction of Beast!Ben* Bee: *incoherent screeching* Me: I think we need a chug for that Bee: I need to drink to forget, when will he go away?

Bee: ...I wasn't gonna say anything, but that's a butt plug tail

Jane: *appears* Me: My babygirl! Bee: She gets cuter every movie.

*@ Carlos* Bee: Puh-lease give her a little smooch Me: He's so smitten, it's disgusting

Harry: Hey Jay, uh, thanks for saving me, gorgeous face~ Me: HELLO??? Bee: GAY Me: I don't remember that, that might've been something that was cut from the Disney Channel release?

Harry: *smacks Jay's shoulder* Me: It only could've been better if he smacked his ass Bee: Oh, he definitely smacked his ass. I saw him smack his shoulder, but he smacked his ass

Bee: Through the power of lesbians and rhyming couplets!

Honorable mention: Us losing it over the VISIBLE LACE of Ben's shitty fake beard

Bee: Chad was a better character in the first movie where he was kinda dumb but conniving, but now he's just dumb

(About My Once Upon a Time) Me: This song is from a better movie Bee: Right like holy shit??? This is a mid-act-two power ballad on Broadway. The way I would scream this in my car.

(Side note: the verses of the song felt out of order to me. Turns out it's sung in a different order in the movie than it is on the soundtrack)

Bee: There's something really gross about this dragon model and I can't put my finger on it Me: It looks wet Bee: Yeah! It- oh. Oh it, uh. It looks like a "bad dragon". If you catch my drift. Me: ...I'd like to go home now

Audrey: *comatose* Me: WHAT is that cover??? Bee: Is that a shroud??? Me: They changed her! They put in the effort to put her in pjs but turning her covers down was too much? Was that too inappropriate??? Bee: They left her feet uncovered!!! Dogs out for free on the Disney Channel!

Me: Another fit in which Ben needs a tie

Me (@ Hades): Dad, more like- no. Bee: Dad, more like daddy!!! I'll say it, I have enough daddy issues to Me: Bee, no

Bee: Why do they (Hades and Mal) love each other now? This relationship is unearned

Bee: (@ Beast) You gave the kingdom to a sixteen year-old, you can shut the fuck up

Jay: *making very romantic-sounding plans with Gil* Me: Which ear is the gay ear? Bee: I think it's the left??? (after Googling) No, it's the right Me: Jay has had an earring in the gay ear and only the gay ear this whole movie Bee: *screeching*

Me: In a better version of this movie, Lonnie has been here teasing the fuck out of him (Jay) about Gil the whole movie and then she eggs him to ask him out now.

Bad note for costumes, Uma is wearing a repainted Amazon corset in the final number. So much for Disney money and this movie having a bigger budget

Hades: Am I invited to the wedding? Bee: No, go away

Speaking of the wedding, we took a brief interlude there before Rise of Red

[albatris]

do u want a cute scene. this has been floating around inside my brain

in their second meeting (quinn has brought alex some murderers to kill and it's very gory but never mind that) alex is like. ready to be FREE of this horrible abandoned house that it fucked off to for two months to fight god. ok. alex wants to Rejoin Society. and is like "I can't take another minute here please we have to go Right Now or I'll explode" and quinn is like "nah we won't beat the sunrise we can just hang here till tomorrow"

and alex is like >:( and is DETERMINED to leave so quinn is like. "ok at least go get yourself cleaned up so we don't immediately get arrested if we leave, then we can see how u feel"

n alex goes back to the house n gets cleaned up and then is like hm I am kinda tired actually I'm just gonna sit down for a sec n just ends up passing out on its bed n sleeping for like sixteen hours

it wakes up once! n finds quinn has just decided to curl up next to it and is sleeping soundly. n alex sorta wakes in a panic bc 1) stranger and 2) HUMAN stranger. then it's like..... oh wait no it's just quinn. ok. weird but ok. zzzzzzzz

n alex just devours all of them so fast n almost cries bc this is the first time its been able to actually properly taste human food in like. forever. bc the garble was all like "oh you're not going to drink human blood? ok all other food will taste like rotten garbage until further notice 😊"

wakes up later to delicious (?) smells and quinn absolutely burning the shit out of some pancakes

I need you to know quinn sucks at cooking at this point. these pancakes are burned but even if they weren't they would Suck

thx for coming on this imagination ride with me

like YEAH early friendship quinn is still such a. quinn. but I have been rotating this in my brain. soft quinn. cooking for alex and sleeping next to it n letting it rest because they know it needs to, alex finally feeling some relief and connection after weeks of hell n just. little tender moments at the start of a friendship

idk if I got the emotion in all this to come across but I am having Feelings and there are Feelings

[ahwp]

This is the Sippy Saturday Podcast Brought to you by At Home With Piper and The Harrington Foundation.

Season 1 Episode 1: Life Be Lifin'

Piper smiles at the camera as she's given a countdown by her producer. As she’s given her cue, she parts her lips and begins her introduction from her seat on the blush pink couch.

Piper: Hey babes! Welcome to the inaugural episode of the Sippy Saturday Podcast, brought to you by At Home with Piper. Today’s episode is sponsored by The Harrington Foundation. I’m Piper, your host, and new bestie. As if you couldn’t tell by the sash and crown, it’s my fucking birthdayyyy!!! (She chuckles softly as she repositions the mic and opens a bottle of tequila, pouring a shot.) On tonight’s episode, it’s just me and you, talking about life and how it’s been whipping my ass for the past few years cause, baby, life has been lifing the fuck out of me. So grab a drink, if you’re smart, you’ve already made you a Sippy Saturday cocktail from my At Home With Piper website, grabbed your snacks, and are sitting comfy waiting on the tea. Let’s toast to a good night, the happiest of birthdays for myself and anyone else celebrating, and an amazing Episode.

(The scene cuts to a prerecorded clip of Piper making the drink of the night. )

Piper: Tonight’s Mocktail is one of my favs, the Spicy Paloma. The recipe will be linked below with some alcohol substitute for my drinkers out there. (She takes a sip and rocks side to side while tasting it. She taps the glass with her finger nails and smacks her lips) Mhm.. I’m telling you guys, you have to try it. It’s a must.

Piper: A few very important things to know about me, I’m a 28 year old entrepreneur and a mommy of 2. I’m in therapy weekly and it’s the only thing other than God, keeping me from ending a few mother fuckers. Praise God. My kids are my world. I love my babies with my whole being and wouldn’t trade them for the world. Now let’s circle back to therapy. Baby get you some! Okay? Okay! Cause listen, the shit I’ve experienced these past few years, was enough to make me lose my mind. I completely lost myself, I’m talking didn’t recognize myself in the mirror, lost. I was so sad and depressed and just pushed away everyone I loved. Looking back on my life, younger me never expected any of the things she has now. Not the money, the houses, the kids, the experiences, none of it. I didn’t expect a bad life, but I thought my life would be really simple. I’d still be back home, I’d own a modest house and I’d be a school teacher. I just wanted to be happy and content. Instead, I’m a single mom of two, and while I’m killing this shit, this shit is not for the faint of heart. Granted I do have more resources than some other moms and I’m not saying that it’s hard in that way, but let’s not act as though carrying, birthing, and then caring for life isn’t something hard that all moms struggle with despite finances. I had a solid plan for my life and while a lot of it has come to pass, this family dynamic is not what I expected.

I grew up going back and forth between Rhode Island and New York. I’m the oldest of 4 girls and I was the favorite. Sorry girls, but it’s true. Ask daddy. (She laughs.) Life wasn’t hard even when it was. My parents made sure we didn’t see or feel the hardships of a young married black couple living part time in uptown New York or the two bedroom flat in Rhode Island that they owned but could barely afford. It was during all the back and forth that I met my ex husband at 15. I plan to have him on here one day and we can tell that story then. But basically, we were together for 8 years before he moved to LA. I followed him months later. I was a kindergarten teacher and was in college getting my bachelor’s of nursing degree. I graduated and moved to LA and when I got here, all that sweet phone talk about what life would be if I moved out here turned into some “you need to find your self ” bullshit. (She lowers her voice to mimic her ex’s and laughs and takes another sip of her drink.) Granted, his arguments ended up being true. I had been with him since I was 15. I really didn’t know who I was as a woman without him. So we break up for a while and then get back to gather, have a kid and get married. This man was my first everything. The first man I ever loved no one could have told me, we wouldn’t have lasted. Not even a year into our marriage were we divorced. My life had become motherhood and trying to please him, while his life had become being our provider and protector and we lost one another. We both saw it and I thought we were working on it, and then I found out he had cheated. It was public. I was humiliated. I remember feeling like I had failed, my self, my son, my parents. I couldn’t understand how. I followed the rules. (She uses air quotes as she sets her glass on the table next to her) This was the first time i experienced depression. PPD and divorce was kicking my ass. I was hyper focused on my son to the point that I started to push away my friends, and I wouldn't even take care of myself. I would shower everyday and that was it. There were days that i didn't eat or sleep because I just couldn't bring myself to do anything that didn't involve taking care of Prince. When I finally snapped out of it and started to get a sense of myself again, I vowed to not date. Luckly, I had some friends talk some sense into me. This is when I met Greyson, my daughter's father. At the time, I was very new to dating. I hadn't been with anyone other than Caleb my entire life. I was naive and ignored key signs that this wasn't a good partnership simply because I felt wanted to feel loved and Greyson gave me that feeling. Let me take it a few steps back and reintroduce our story to you from the eyes of a whole woman. This is a part of my story and in no means do I mean to break Greyson down, but I will not lie. I was clearly in a manipulative relationship filled with gaslighting, and love bombing. In no way do I absolve myself of my poor choices in dating this man and then having a child with him, but I will not keep quiet or spare him simply to save face. I fucked up unintentionally, but his intentions were clearly malice from the start.

When I met him, I wasn’t trying or expecting to fall for anyone. I’d actually made up my mind that I’d be single and I just wanted to have some fun. Either way, we dated off and on for about 4 months before making it official. We took a trip together and we had sex for the first time. I ended up pregnant but I didn’t know that i was until until weeks later while I was dealing with the grief of losing my mom. I feel like this was the start of the major red flags in our relationship. This man would be extremely present and loving and then go missing for weeks at a time. Looking back on my pregnancy, I don’t have many fond memories. Was he there during my mom’s passing, yes, but beyond that it was very hit and miss. I didn’t get to enjoy it unless I was being celebrated by my friends. I had no shower, no gender reveal, and I only had a maternity shoot because I made myself do it. I really put on a happy face while going through hell. Not just because I’d lost my mom but because I was in an unplanned pregnancy with a man who would up and disappear on me with no warning and then come back and love bomb the fuck out of me and gaslight me to hell. I started to realize this in my pregnancy and for reasons known now, I thought I should hold on. I knew in my mind, that I could fix this. This was something minor. He wasn’t use to relationships and I was only use to the one that I’d been in for 10 years that had failed. So here I am, a year removed from a very long term relationship and in a very new relationship, unexpectedly pregnant, and my man was love bombing me. He was inconsistent and always in some shit. I put on a smile and took care of home. Things were not great but they weren’t bad. Thats what I kept telling myself. We had some work to do but nothing that couldn’t be repaired. That was my mindset, until I realized that I was in deed on some bullshit. My daughter barely knew her dad and I was okay with just dealing with that to save face. To hold out hope that he would fix things, that this relationship, wouldn’t be a failure. That I would get my happy ending. Well that shit ended in the fiery pits of hell. I was one foot out the door by the end of it and had left my own home and was staying with my sister Syx a few weeks before things ended. Do yall know this man had the audacity to ask me to change my name but wasn’t ready to marry me? Yeah. We had an entire argument about why I still have my ex’s last name and why he wouldn’t marry me because of it. Despite the fact that this was something discussed on one of our first dates. That moment was the defining moment for me. I knew things were done. How could you love me but have no regard for me or my son? A few weeks after we talked and were trying yet again, his disappeared and I havent seen or heard from him since. No calls to see his daughter, no desire to be a dad yet this child was something he wanted so bad. Needless to say, I was pissed. It was an anger I’d never felt before. It took me such a long time get myself out of that space but here we are. I was so angry that I wanted to physically hurt this man, not because of how he had done me but becauwe he abandoned his child. My daughter is the sweetest thing. She’s so loving and smart and I know we all say that about our kids but my babygirl is something so special and I’m so angry with myself for making the choice I made in her father because he’s just a sorry excuse of a man. I tried so hard to not talk down about him but how can you not tell the truth about a person? (She sighs and sits back) the honest truth is I feel like I’ve held myself back from moving forward by trying to protect him and his character. I’ve filmed this episode 5 or 6 times and each time has ended in me crying and cursing him out in the unholiest of ways. I’m talking certifiable unhinged behavior. My therapist got a big check after those sessions. What’s changed though is the fact that I know my kids are better off without him and his influence.

As I'm growing, I’m learning more and more about myself and just life in general. For years, basically my entire life, I felt like a child needed both parents, or that I had to follow the rules if I wanted to be happily married or raise amazing kids and that’s simply not true. My babies are well rounded, well traveled, respectful, honest, and loving. I’ve done an amazing job. I have an amazing family and support system that loves my children like their own. I couldn’t ask for a better village. I believed that I my marriage would be successful because I’m a good woman who cooks, cleans, makes her own money and has other great attributes and talents. (Piper winks at the camera as she sips from her glass.) It didn’t take me long to learned that you can be perfect for someone and that shit can still go wrong. You can do your part, be the most loyal, humblest person and people will still fuck you over and walk all over you. Shit happens. Is it okay? No, but what can you learn from it? What is God trying to teach you? I feel like this past year has been the most important year of my life. I don’t work as hard, I spend more time with my kids making memories, my sister and I moving together and we’re raising our kids as a family and it’s the most wholesome shit I’ve ever done. I feel so at peace knowing that this year brought me peace by any means necessary. God did not play about me. He taught me patience, made me more aware of my own weaknesses and strengths, granted me favor and peace of mind while navigating all the shit I mentioned prior to now and the things I didn’t. He taught me the importance of letting things go so that I can move on. I’m a very empathetic person and I carry so much weight on my shoulders to understand everyone and to be understood. In the past that has caused me more hurt than anything. Instead of walking away, I’d try to fix things that don’t serve me. I don’t want to be that girl anymore. I can’t be her. I have two kids that literally don’t eat unless I feed them. They depend on me and I refuse to let them down. I say all do this to say, if you’re in a season where you feel like it’s blow after to blow, attack after attack, it gets better. If you’re in a place where you can’t look yourself in the mirror without crying or feeling like you e lost yourself, then wipe your tears and remind yourself who the fuck you are. That shit it momentary. It gets better. I don’t care what anyone says. It gets better because it has to. No weapon formed against you can prosper against you, because it’s not strong enough to. We’re not meant to stay down. We’re meant to learn something and then use it to bring ourselves as the other people like us out of that hole we feel buried in. Sometimes you need a little help. Therapy was quintessential in helping me through my toughest times. Because I want this podcast to be focused on purging the negativity and creating a positive environment for growth and development, I’ve created a foundation focused on supplying resources for those who just need a little help in life.

The Harrington Foundation is a non profit organization that is partnering with local therapists to bring free therapy to those in need in our local communities. This foundation is not only meant to bring forth grief counseling and mental health services to the community but other outreach programs like feeding the hungry and housing the homeless. Too often do we hear the stories of someone needing help with no one willing to give it. I will not be that person. If you would like to help the cause, feel free to donate at the link below or visit theharringtonfound.org. If you are in need of assistance in any way, be it therapy, paying a bill, help finding a home, contact us at 1-888-8888. We have funds readily available to help those in need. Thank you all for listening to me rant about my troubles and passion for growth. This has been the Sippy Saturday Podcast. Thank you for joining means I hope I see you next week. Love yall now bye! I got to go feed these kids. I didn’t even finish my drink Chile. (Piper laughs as the scene cuts to the ad for the Harrington Foundation and her other businesses.)

[herrscherrofyatta]

Trouble on set

Pairing: Tomo x F!reader

cw: brief spoilers for the Sumeru quests, a sprinkle of Kazuha x reader here and there, pining, fluff, contains future spoilers for the everlasting series, slight angst? harassment towards the reader towards the end

summary: after filming the second to last part of sumeru's chapter, you and your co stars sit down and chat about the recent events

a/n: for the modern au event

Tears are spilling from Scaramouche's eyes as he looks at your tired e/c eyes that look up at him with nothing but love for him as your lips part slightly.

"...I love you Kuni."

You say and with that, your eyes close. Taking your last breath as Scaramouche sat there, staring as tears continued to fall, "....Y/n?"

He calls out, shaking you gently, "no.... don't—don't do this to me too. Please.... don't leave me!" He grits his teeth, pulling out the gnosis and pressing it into your chest just as you did before but your body no longer accepts it.

After several attempts, he throws the item to the side, cradling your body in his arms as he sobs, burying in face in your neck as your head hangs back. His body shakes as his cries grow louder.

"...i—i love you too." He knew his words meant nothing if you couldn't hear them, you always showered him with affection like a real sister for decades and the one time he finally returned it, it was too late.

"And cut. You two did well, I don't think we need to redo this scene."

A voice is heard as Scaramouche looks up as his face is still wet with tears and you open your eyes, wincing at the bright light above you two.

"Get cleaned up and have a break." Scaramouche helps you up, as you give him a smile.

"Good job." You tell him as he nods, still in character as you two walk off the set and immediately your friend come over to you two.

"You two did so well! Everyone was tearing up." Nahida says and some of your co-workers nod at her words.

"I'll see you two later." Scaramouche raises a hand at you two before working off, wiping his face and you and Nahida walk back to where the rest of your friends are.

"I think this is my favorite scene." You smile at this, "that's what you said during the fight scene between me and Tomo."

She giggles, "this one tops it, that scene is my second favorite."

You sigh at this, remembering how the filming for that was a bit difficult but it's done.

"You did a great job back there." Aether says as you two arrive in the break room where everyone else who was a part of this season.

"Thanks, me and Scara practiced to nail it in one go. To think we'll be done with this season but you still have like 5 more to go." You laugh as Aether sighs.

"yeah. Oh, did you get your script for the interlude?" Shaking your head, "no, I remember Hoyoverse saying that they would give us a break for a week or so. I'll probably get it soon though but I doubt I'll get any more scenes, they killed off my character."

The blonde shrugs his shoulders, handing you a cup of coffee, "you never know. Maybe they'll keep you around because of your great acting skills and maybe because of the whole romance with your character and Tomo's too, I have a feeling like it's not quite done."

Nahida sits down, going over her script as you and Aether continue talking.

"Oh! Speaking of Tomo, I promised him and Kazuha that the three of us would watch this part of the season when it aired."

The director didn't call you and scaramouche to redo the scene so you were free till the next filming.

A month later, you were recovering from an incident during filming, nothing too serious but it hurt like hell and your phone rings so you stand up to answer it, careful not to hurt your wrist.

"Hello?"

"Y/n! Hello, are you still up to watch the new episode tonight?" It was Kazuha, you smile at this, you two have been in many films together and are very close friends.

"Tonight? What day is it....." You look at your calendar and your eyes widen, "oh my god, I forgot about today, I've been so busy but yes I'm still down. Is Tomo coming as well?"

Tomo, another one of your friends and you two met through Kazuha, who also happened to be acting as your character's love interest in Genshin Impact.

"Yeah, he'll be arriving earlier than me at your place."

And just like Kazuha said, the blonde did ring your door bell two hours later and you let him. Making sure he was comfortable on the couch, you prepared some drinks, placing the tray on the small coffee table and handing him a drink. Your eyes take a good look at the blonde, noticing that he still hasn't cut his long hair since it was still in it's ponytail.

"You didn't cut it," you finally say.

"Well, you said you liked it long." He says before taking a sip, "plus, I think I'll still be acting for Hoyoverse and I have a feeling you will too." He smiles at you and you could feel the heat grow on your face at this, turning away from him as you walk out the living room.

"Oh really?"

He hums, "keeping you for a couple more episodes would give them more benefits.....so can you tell what happens?"

Rolling your eyes, you scoff, "be patient, I'm sure it'll be a ride for you."

He sits up in surprise, "wait! Don't tell me they killed you off?!"

"pfft—" you cover your laugh at this, "no—they would never!" You say sarcastically, not wanting to spoil it for him and so two hours later, Kazuha walked in to find you two in a heated conversation about your characters.

"No but like, we still need to film the festival they first met at! They can't just leave it like that between them!" Tomo says as you chuckle before taking a sip of your water, "we'll be letting the shippers down."

Chuckles at this, you say, "with you as their leader, I'm sure you'll all manage just fine." Tomo gives you an unimpressed look.

"Well, it's not our decision plus I think they'll be alright. I mean, have you read some of the fanfiction they write? Sometimes I think it's better than the official story and that says a lot." You point as Kazuha stands at the doorway, seems like neither of you noticed him quite yet.

"Yeah that's good and all but—"

"But if our characters keep going, Hoyoverse was bound to—"

"No! Listen! Remember their other series, the one you were a part of a couple years back, Honkai Impact—"

You laugh at this, remembering the role you played, "doesn't mean they're gonna let our characters live happily ever after, Tomo, remember that they're on the opposite side. A Harbinger and a wandering samurai who's an orphan."

He sighs in frustration, "still, I hope they give them the happy ending they deserve at least."

Shrugging your shoulders at this, you look away from the man in front of you and look to the side, "how long have you been standing?"

Tomo spits out his drink, looking at him, "dude, stop creeping around like that!"

Kazuha laughs at this, "you two sure do act like a married couple, talking about your favorite characters."

You roll your eyes at this, "everyone says that about us, lots of traffic?"

Kazuha hums, "yes and looks like I arrived on time." You and Tomo look at the time in sync, seeing that there was a few minutes for the episode to air.

The three of you go to the living room, getting comfortable on the couch and turning on the TV. Making sure none of your schedules were packed for the next day, it was like a tradition to sit and binge watch all the new episodes on the day one comes out.

"They better not leave us on a cliffhanger again." Tomo comments as you play the episode released today, Kazuha leans back as you put your knees up to your chest, face snuggling into a pillow and Tomo stares at the screen in anticipation.

The episode starts off where the last had ended, your hand brushes against Kazuha, making you glance at him and he looks at you.

He sees you shake your head slightly and he gets what you're hinting at so he glances over to the blonde whose eyes are glued to the screen.

"He'll be alright." He whispers, giving you a smile as you look at him a bit worried, brows furrow. "I gave it my best for my last scene....I just hope he won't be too disappointed." You whisper back, he reaches up to push a strand of hair behind your ear before gently flickering your forehead.

"You did great."

"We haven't even gotten to that scene —"

"But you're acting so well," he gestures to the screen as you look at it, watching as you appear from thin air in front of Nahida, catching the dendro archon by surprise.

"No way she managed to rip out the gnosis from the archon!? Signora style too!" Tomo yells, you and Kazuha brink at this before letting out a quiet laugh.

"Yeah, he'll be alright." You smile at Kazuha and you two go back to watching.

Let's say the night ended with Tomo being in shock, staring at the screen as the credits played out with vocal singing in Latin, one heard in the fight, now more clearly meant to represent your character's emotions.

"...I'll get the guests room ready." You say, going up the stairs, leaving the two men by themselves. The next morning, you were making breakfast when Kazuha woke up, saying he wanted to help.

Tomo slept in a little late and only woke up from hearing your laughter from downstairs and going down to go see what was making you laugh that hard, he freezes up at the sight of Kazuha and you close together in front of the stove, backs turned to him.

He watches a little while before retreating back to his room, sighing, it was no secret that he was head over heels for you, every single one your friends knew and it was completely obvious too.

He had met you on set, he was new to the crew when he first saw you in person, talking with a smile to the guy that plays Scaramouche, the way you two interact he would have mistaken you as a couple. But he had heard that Scaramouche was like a brother to you, known each other since childhood but Kazuha....he had heard so much from him. Highschool friends to be exact.

He wouldn't be surprised if the white haired male had feelings for you, hell, anyone would and he wouldn't see a chance to be with you since you were constantly surrounded by amazing, better people than him.

Standing in the middle of the room, gripping his fists, he was nothing but a guy who got lucky enough to get a big role while you were someone with experience, talent and big celebrities chasing after you.

why would you bat an eye at his feelings?

A knock at the door snaps him out of his thoughts, "Tomo, are you up? Breakfast is ready." Your voice is muffled as he sighs before answering.

"Oh, I'm starving!" He exclaims, opening the door as you look up at him, staring at him for a moment before looking away.

"We should hurry or Kazuha is going to eat everything." You say, joking, walking away before Tomo grabs a hold of your hand, making you turn around, confused.

"Tomo? What's wrong?"

He stares, hesitating before letting you go. "No, it's nothing. Sorry."

You two stand there before Kazuha's voice calls out, making you two go downstairs.

—

" Actress Y/n L/n who plays an important character in Season 3 of the hit series 'Genshin Impact' is confirmed to be dating Actor Kaedehara Kazuha who also is a part of the same series. The two have been seen together on a date, holding hands at a famous cafe— "

Tomo's heart drops at this, dropping his phone and it makes a loud noise that makes a few people give him weird looks. Picking it up, he checks the pictures taken and can't believe it.

It was you two in the picture, it didn't seem to be photoshopped and—

"What are you looking at?" He jumps at the sounds of your voice beside him, his phone slipping from his hands as you catch it, raising a brow at the news.

"...." You don't say anything, simply staring at the screen before calling out to Kazuha. "Hey Kazu."

"Yes?"

His head pops out from a corner, munching on a cookie, "when did we start dating?" Kazuha takes a bite of his food before shrugging his shoulders.

"I dunno, you tell me."

Waving at him to come over, he does, and you show him, he doesn't look fazed.

"This again?" He asks as you sigh, "I'm afraid so." You two look at Tomo who was quiet this whole time.

".....did you fall for this?" He shakes his head.

Kazuha begins to explain everything, the context of the photo, saying it was taken when you and him snuck out to get something to eat during break. "Look, we're in our costumes and the reason why Kazuha was holding my hand was because the heels I wore were too hard to walk in properly."

Tomo mentally sighs at this, relieved, "also we're the main leads for this romance series so there's that." He freezes up as you hand him back his phone.

Neither of you notice prying eyes watching from a distance.

The day goes on, a couple retakes on scenes here and there when it was time for lunch, you and your friends decide to eat together inside so you quickly went to your trailer to get your food.

The heels you wore made a sound with each step you took, "excuse me," an eerie voice came from behind you, making you tense up and glance back to see a man who you didn't recognize.

"are you lost? I can bring security to accompany you to the exit." You stopped walking, not wanting to show this man where your trailer was in case he tried to come back later.

"No...no, I'm not lost. In fact, I already found what I'm looking for." He says in a creepy way, his face was red with sweat the longer he stared at you.

"What do you—?!" Your eyes widened as he grabbed a hold of your wrist, pulling you towards him as you struggled against his hold.

"Let go of me!" You shout, but his grip on your wrist that was still recovering from an acting incident, tightens as you wince and he sees this as an opportunity to wrap his other arm around your waist.

"You're finally mine—"

—

Tomo looks at the time, it's been a few minutes since you left to get your lunch and Kazuha seems to notice this too. Standing up, he and Tomo begin to head to find you at your trailer but to their surprise, an unfamiliar man had you in his grasp as you struggled against him. Quickly running over, Kazuha calls for security, you continue to push the man off as he leans in to try to kiss you.

"Let me go!?" You raise your knee and hit him where the sun doesn't sun as his grip on your falters and Tomo quickly pulls you behind him, he could feel your hands grip his shirt with fear.

"You bitch!" The man says, glaring up at him. "You'll pay!"

Tomo glares at him, "you have to get through me first."

Kazuha rushes over with a couple security guards, "and before you can get to him, you need to get through security." He says as the buff, talk men pick up the creep who kept trying to tell you things.

"None of you understand! Me and her are destined together! We're going to get married and have children—"

You pull back tomo who is trying so hard not to punch this guy who was creeping you out.

"None of you will get in the way of our true love!"

The security guards roll their eyes at this as you see Tomo turn to you and you give him a confused look before he leans in, pressing his lips to yours.

"What the hell!? Let go of my precious Y/n! We're supposed to be together —"

Your face is red as Tomo pulls away, "together my ass, we've been dating for a long time so she's mine." He flips him off as the man gets dragged off, still saying things.

The blonde sighs, as Kazuha goes to your side, looking around for any injuries and he notices that your hands are shaking slightly.

Being harassed was nothing to you but someone getting that close to you as new, he's been there to see and luckily to protect you but to think someone sneaked in to look especially for you was terrifying.

"Thank you," you finally say, "if you hadn't.....I couldn't imagine what that man would've done." Tomo frowns, placing a hand in your back.

"You did all the work, hitting him in the balls." He smiles when a smile cracks in your face at this. Your face heats up as he wraps his arm around your shoulder as he leads you inside while Kazuha goes to talk with security.

"...sorry for not asking." You glance up to see how red his cheeks were before looking down, flustered as he was.

"...it's not like we haven't kissed before...on set." You mumble, "..I kinda liked it." Stuttering in your words, you refuse to look up at Tomo, afraid of his reaction.

He coughs, "...me too, every single one." If your face couldn't heat up even more at his confession, it did.

Nahida looks up from her book to see you two walk in, speechless to see you two holding hands with flustered faces but smiles to herself.

It was about time you two figured out your feelings.

Tomo: So whose idea was it to show that scene to parallel Ei and Makoto's?

You: well....you see—

Masterlist

[karizard-ao3]

My live reactions to Neon Genesis Evangelion episode 1: Angel Attack

Okay, so I watched this one a few months ago and remember liking it, but not a lot of other details. Also, I am so sorry, I am not doing timestamps. My TV is not readily showing them to me and I am not willing to put in the effort to find them :(

Oh, I don't think I noticed that random pastel haired girl out in the street the first time I watched it. Does the girl on the cover of the boxed set not have pastel colored hair? I know we meet her pretty soon and she's not doing so hot, but is she a psychic?

These air ships look like legless donkeys a little bit.

I like when angels are portrayed as bad.

It's already so clear the Shinji (?) is a neglected child.

The sound quality on this is so crisp. I don't even think I need subtitles.

Also, what was that photo she sent him? Does she not have a professional headshot or something? 😭

I liked the visuals of the scene with the car on its side and them poking their heads out like "Whoa!"

You fools! You absolute dipshits! Why would you think your basic ordnance could take out an angel?

Shinji is so judgmental. I love him. The look on his face is killing me.

Nothing here is pronounced how I would expect it to be pronounce.

Calling his son a spare. What a fucking bastard. My number one takeaway from when I watched the first two episodes before was that I hate that fuck.

Ritsuko and her swimsuit!

Again, this dude is a bastard.

I want you, Shinji. I'll adopt you and make you whatever you want for dinner.

Oh, Shinji. You're so brave :(

In Closing:

Okay, so I'm assuming there's a reason they are using children to operate the Evas and it probably is because they're brains are still developing or whatever, but the disregard the adults, especially Shinji's father, have for the well-being of these human children they're using for their own benefit is already wildly apparent. I get that it's humanity against the Angels, or whatever, but humanity is still hanging in there. They still have cars and cities and an underground military facility, and didn't they say at the beginning of the episode that it had been sixty years since they last had an Angel in Tokyo? It feels like these stakes are far less about saving humanity than they claim.

I also assume these kids have some sort of esp that allows them to operate the Evas. I mean, Shinji wasn't even plugged in when Unit 1 saved him, so they were clearly vibing on a metaphysical level.

I'm sorry, I can't get over how they didn't prepare him at all for the experience of operating the Eva, just shoved him in there and didn't even warn him about the oxygen gel? They just kept flinging very unpleasant and scary things at him (pilot the Eva, Shinji. Breathe the liquid, Shinji. Launch, Shinji) with no warning, and then basically telling him to suck it up when he's surprised/ frightened.

Where did the Angels even come from? Why do I feel like humans are somehow at fault for them, too? Like they were playing God or something and it came back to bite them in the ass. I assume I'll find out more later on, but I'm already predisposed to blame the adults. I also wonder if the kids apparent psychic abilities have anything to do with the Angels. Perhaps the experiments that led to the Angels led to the kids with abilities? (Unless I'm totally off the mark lol)