Why am I seeing so many fake posts on my dash? Like, there's ones from all sorts of made up realities, I'm surprised I haven't seen ones set in webcomics or whatever.
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♊️ twinarmageddons reblogged
♊️ twinarmageddons
all of you iidiiot2 need two 2hut up about computer2 unle22 you know what you're talkiing about. ii 2wear ii 2aw 2ome guy telliing people two pour water on theiir keyboard2 two clean them.
♉️ adiostoreador
uH,,,
iS THAT NOT HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO, uH, dO IT,
♊️ twinarmageddons
oh my fuckiing god 2ome people are actual iidiiot2
#ii mean come on you actually beliieved that
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♑️ terminallycapricious
wAsSuP mOtHeRfUcKeRs???
#HoNk
420 notes
♌️ arseniccatnip reblogged
♌️ arseniccatnip
:33 < hiii!!!
:33 < my name is nepeta leijon, and this is my furst post!
:33 < i like shipping, and rolepurrlaying, and hunting
:33 < i have troll pawtism, so i might not be the best at understanding things. sorry if i get confused!
:33 < i also do art, and my commissions are open! purrlease don't ask me to draw trolls pailing, i'm only 6
:33 < bye! :33
♋️ carcinogeneticist
HOW STUPID DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO PUT YOUR FULL NAME IN YOUR PINNED POST.
DON'T YOU KNOW THE FIRST RULE OF GRUMBLR IS NEVER USE YOUR REAL NAME, YOU IDIOTIC EXCUSE FOR A PERSON.
♒️ caligulasaquarium Follow
wwhy is your text grey
♋️ carcinogeneticist
I DON'T KNOW, WHY ARE YOU SUCH A PRETENTIOUS ASSHOLE, FISH FACE.
🤡 i-say-honk Follow
hOnK!
♋️ carcinogeneticist
FUCK OFF, TC, WE ALL KNOW IT'S YOU.
THIS STUPID "GIMMICK BLOG" ISN'T EVEN FUNNY.
♌️ arseniccatnip
:33 < @carcinogeneticist @caligulasaquarium @i-say-honk kill yourselves
#:33 < :33
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♍️ grimauxiliatrix reblogged
♈️ apocalypsearisen Follow
im dead n0w
♍️ grimauxiliatrix
Mood
#Honestly I Cant Believe I Made It Through This Week Alone
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♋️ carcinogeneticist reblogged
👻 ectobiologist Follow
hi! how do i use this app?
♋️ carcinogeneticist
HUMAN ALERT.
@human-alarm
👤 human-alarm Follow
BEEP
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♋️ carcinogeneticist reblogged
♐️ centaurstesticle Follow
D -> The day we stop valuing horses is the day society collapses
♐️ centaurstesticle
D -> @cuttlefishculler Perhaps I do share some interests with the protagonist of the new popular movie starring Troll Ryan Gosling
D -> If anything that would be a compliment
D -> Not that that's something a f001 such as yourself would understand
♓️ cuttlefishculler Follow
)(-EY, I was just joking around. No need to start being c-rude!!! 380
♏️ arachnidsgrip Follow
Protagonist!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
What movie did you watch? 8ecause 8ar8ie is defin8ly the hero of the one I saw, hooves-for-8rains.
♈️ apocalypsearisen Follow
i liked the 0ne with the b0mb m0re
♒️ caligulasaquarium Follow
rustblood, opinion disregarded
♋️ carcinogeneticist
BLATANT HEMOPHOBIA ASSIDE, ARE WE JUST GOING TO IGNORE OP'S URL?
♊️ twinarmageddons
forget that, cc ii2 the ACTUAL HEIIRE22
♋️ carcinogeneticist
HOLY SHIT, WHO CARES.
1380 notes
♏️ arachnidsgrip reblogged
♏️ arachnidsgrip
You know, I think the murders were good for me.
♎️ gallowscalibrator Follow
VR1SK4, YOU K1LL3D 31GHTY-31GHT P3OPL3.
♏️ arachnidsgrip
Yeah, 8ut I'm over it now. It doesn't effect me anymore.
#I've moved on.
413 notes
♉️ adiostoreador reblogged
💽 turntechgodhead Follow
man i cant believe troll steve jobs died of ligma
♉️ adiostoreador
wHO, uM, wHO'S TROLL STEVE JOBS?
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☆◞: IM ALWAYS JUST A DOOR AWAY ✧ SPENCER REID
SPENCER REID X FEM READER
SUMMARY: when you moved in to your new apartment, you never imagined your neighbor, spencer reid, would be such a nightmare. he wasn’t your favorite guy. in fact, you hated him. unfortunately for you, you can never seem to escape him. the universe clearly has other plans for you two.
WARNINGS: mentions of alcohol and alcohol consumption in some chapters, angsty, arguing, spencer is kind of (definitely) an asshole, kissing, cursing, somewhat darker plot points as story progresses (this is my first ever full story fanfic! so it might be bad…) this will also be 10 parts so yayyy
GENRE: enemies to lovers, fluff, angst
⋆·˚ ༘ *
chapter 1 : a nightmare..
✎Was it even possible to hate someone so much that even the thought of them made your blood boil?
You never thought that was even possible. You were always trying to see the best in people, even if they were rude to you. That all changed when you moved next door to Spencer Reid.
Spencer Reid
The bane of your existence.
You had moved into your first apartment alone, with the help of your parents loaning some money and your waitressing job, when you had the unpleasant experience of meeting him.
God, he was so stuck up and pretentious. Getting to know him might have been your biggest regret.
The first day you met him, he immediately gave you an attitude.
You weren’t all that familiar with this area, so you took it upon yourself to try and make friends with the neighbors.
As you walk up to the door and knock, you become excited at the potential of a new friendship.
Behind the door, you can hear a quiet, muffled voice and some shuffling before it’s opened to reveal a rather tall man looking down at you.
“Yes?” He sounded a bit annoyed, yet you continued your introduction.
“Hi, I’m your new neighbor! My name is-“
“Cool, I’m really busy, and if it isn’t important, don’t bother me.” The man quickly shuts the door.
You were so puzzled and quite upset.
Who just shuts the door on someone’s face like that?
-‘๑’-
However, after some time, you forgave it. Everyone has bad days; everyone is very busy at some point. Maybe he was just overwhelmed, right?
That was until you saw him again, in the parking lot of the apartments.
You found out his name was Spencer Reid from some other neighbors. This only made you more interested in getting to know him, or at least being civil with each other.
You were getting out of your car after returning home from work when you saw him coming down the stairs to the parking lot. Trying to be friendly, you waved and smiled.
“Hello!” Your expression was bright and kind, as always. Something Spencer never seemed to return. He visibly rolled his eyes at you, rushing to his car.
Did I do something wrong? Did I say something to offend him? Do I have something stuck in my teeth
Your thoughts ran wild, doubting every interaction you have had with anyone before. Were you just annoying? You barely had a conversation with the man; how could he find you annoying?
Maybe he just sucked?
-‘๑’-
For months, your interactions were the same. You’d attempt to be friendly, and he’d quickly (and quite rudely) shut you down. You had convinced yourself he was just a busy man until you were proven right. He just sucked.
Friday, 10:49 pm
Music played throughout your living room as you unwinded on your couch. The weekend had just begun, so you decided to finally relax. Work had been extra shitty today, and you felt you deserved a break. You sat on your couch, reading a book, as your favorite songs played when you heard a knock at the door.
Who could be knocking so late?
Placing your book down and quickly turning the music off, you rush to answer the door.
As it opened, you'd never been more confused to see Spencer Reid standing in front of you.
“Uh, hi? Is something wro-”
“Can you turn the music down?” He seemingly snaps, not even letting you finish your sentence.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to have it so lo-”
“If you’re going to blare your music, you shouldn’t have such terrible taste.”
You were taken aback. You were used to the interruptions, the eye rolling, even being completely ignored. But now, he was just being plain rude.
“What? I said I’m sorry.. What’s your problem?”
You were almost about to snap at him. It took all of your power to not rip into him, calling him every name you could think of.
“My problem? My problem is that ever since you moved here, I can’t get even a moment of peace. Some people have jobs and commitments.”
What the actual fuck?
“Holy shit, Spencer. I’ve done nothing to you, but all you’ve done is be an asshole to me!”
Your anger and frustration seemed to boil over in that exact moment, not caring if you hurt his feelings anymore.
“Actu-”
“No, let me talk for once. I don’t know where you work or what you do to make you think you are so morally superior to me, but fuck. You are so fucking mean.“
He seemed shocked at the sudden outburst, as you only ever showed him your bright and bubbly side. His eyes widened slightly, not expecting the blow-up.
“You don’t get to talk down to me because you’re in a pissy mood. So leave me the fuck alone.”
With that, you slam your door in his face and quickly turn around. Your fists clench as you storm to your room and flop onto your bed, letting out a groan of frustration.
God, he was a nightmare.
-‘๑’-
PT 2
a.n : sorry if this sucks or is boring! i’ve never wrote a story like this before but i hope it’s okay!
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professor!kenshi takahashi > again
you just can't seem to do professor takahashi's reading assignments.
warnings: smut kinda? idk ur freaky and so is he
notes: hi guys im sorry i havent been posting, brain went numb after i lost a 2k kung lao fic because god hates me. enjoy a new brainworm!
@crimsonbubble come get yo juice
[ masterlist ]
• professor takahashi was a major asshole, every student on campus whispers about his attitude and ridiculously complicated assignments, particularly his reading assignments. they were long, tiresome, and often so complex in word choice you swear your eyes are crossing. unfortunately, you needed this credit to get the hell out of that school.
• he was presumably indifferent about you, wandering the aisles of the desks with a never-changing scowl. he was pretentious, always clean in a suit. his hair was neatly done and his back was obnoxiously straight. you tried to be mad, but you respected his devotion to his career.
• when he'd assign one of those readings, nine times out of ten you chose to skip it. they were only worth five points, it felt criminal to waste that effort when you could be enjoying college life. what's a few points here and there? it's not like you were studying for a phd like your physics professor, dr. carlton.
• midterms were approaching, grades were set to be due within the week and it seemed to be all crashing down on you. the readings and journals following them were costing you about seventy points that could easily bump your grade up a letter... if he let you submit them this last second.
• knocking on his office door, you hear an immediate groan and shuffling. his dress shoes clacked against the floor before he opened up. his height was alarming at such close proximity and you found yourself dizzy under his scrutinizing glare. the glasses on the bridge of his nose jump as he scrunches.
• "it's after office hours," he states, eyes shooting to a clock on the wall behind you. "3-7. it's on the syllabus."
• "i—i know, but—" for the first time, you found yourself stuttering in front of him. "i didn't have the t-time to do the assignments and i was hoping you could take them before the end of the week...? i'm sorry, i know this is sudden—" his large hand raises itself, putting a spell on you to stop talking just as quickly as you started.
• "you're missing fourteen of them," his voice is low and cold. how did he already know how many you were missing without checking? it takes a long time before he sighs and steps to the side, eyes inspecting your every move. "we... could probably knock a couple off if you need the help." ...we?
• swallowing, you step into the small office. you never really noticed a distinct smell on him, but the faintest cologne and his natural musk fogging up the room made you suppress a whimper of surprise. he squeezes past you to get to his desk, and you try to ignore the brush of his touch against your waist as he subtly moves you to the side. you feel trapped in this room, backing into a corner and fidgeting with the dead skin by your fingernails.
• he shuffles papers around on his desk, retrieving the printed copies of what you're missing and slapping them on the desk. you jump, trying to back even further into the corner you had buried yourself in.
• "don't look so afraid," somehow his harsh tone offers a smidge of comfort. "it's not rocket science." he beckons you over with two fingers and your insides curl.
• the passage is long and aggravatingly complicated just from a glance, the backside of the page being a few short answer questions. professor takahashi stands close behind you, forced into closeness from how much his desk was positioned against a wall. you hear him try to stifle his breathing but each small gust on the back of your ear made reading all the more impossible.
• your eyes skin the page, lips trembling as you mouth the words on the paper. just as focus overtakes you on the final paragraph, your professor's sultry voice grumbles in your ear.
• "what did the curtains symbolize?" he gruffly asks, tapping a finger on the first question. you stutter over your words, in a blind haze you couldn't even recall the mere mention of curtains in the writing. you swallow thickly, trying to pull an answer from your ass in typical student panic.
• "concealing true thoughts?" you wince, ready for his disapproving tone to burn your ear. instead, the tense air is cracked through when professor takahashi slams his hand palm-down onto the desk, making you whimper in surprise.
• "again," he groans, already frustrated with your ignorance. "and get it right this time."
• how were you able to focus like this? it was cruel. it was sick, and you wouldn't be able to tell that kenshi agreed with your panicked thoughts from his stone cold expression. he was just thankful you had just enough wiggle room to not be pressed against his aching boner through his slacks.
• you swallow thickly, eyes fluttering over the passage again in a haze. this was too much, you should have just failed instead of participate in whatever this was. "the barrier between private and public manners?"
• kenshi groans again, head dropping in frustration and nearly putting his head on your shoulder. you tense up, his hot body feeling like too much and he's not even touching you. something about a big, authoritative man telling you what to do was getting you going... damn you and your late night assignment recovery plan.
• professor takahashi raises his head again, rolling his shoulders as he tries to keep himself together. his eyes glance downward, and he looks down his nose at the sight of you rubbing your thighs together ever so slightly to relieve the tension. a chuckle is pulled from deep in his throat, amused by your small figure and just how caged you were in this situation. he had all the positioning to... no, he shouldn't think that way.
• something ugly and disgustingly horny tugs at him anyway and pulls a swift movement. professor takahashi swings his thick leg between yours, parting your thighs and forcing you to stand with your legs further apart, pulling all satisfaction from you the moment it started. the smoothness of it all sends your heart into overdrive as you try to make sense of his motion.
• you're too afraid to turn back and look at him, to ask what he's doing. you can't, it's too much to ask of you. your legs are weak and knees are buckling, so you attempt to subtly rest your weight onto his desk with your elbows, unintentionally(?) bending over his desk.
• you feel his body loom over yours, and he manages to position his leg just right to press flush against your ass. his torso bends down, just barely above yours, just barely pinning you to the wood.
• "innocence," he answers the assignment question lowly, his brow twitching desperately. "purity... shame."
• his words tug at your core. "oh."
• kenshi wonders if he should pull away, if this was too much, if you'd run away the moment his grip loosened... but you show no ounce of disagreement to the predicament. if anything, the shake in your body and the emanating heat from your cunt through your bottoms told him you needed this... maybe even more than you needed this grade.
• testing the waters further, his fingers dip into the sides of your waistband, tugging the fabric away from your hips curiously. if now was your time to decline his advance, you certainly wouldn't have taken it. involuntarily, your ass presses against his thigh in anticipation, a motion that makes him jolt in surprise. no words are being exchanged, yet your heat was telling him all that he needed to know.
• "question two," he mutters, eyes transfixed on your back. "in the main character's dialogue during the theater scene, who was he speaking to?"
• this question came to you easy even if your mind was escaping you. your voice is weak, barely there enough to answer. "the audience."
• "which one?" his growl makes you yelp as he tugs on your waistband, pulling you impossibly closer. your clothed pussy was just barely able to rub against his thigh.
• a hot breath escapes your lips, why he's torturing you like this is beyond you. "the—the real audience. us." a reward was given as kenshi pulls your bottoms to the floor, letting them pool at your ankles to give him a display of how soaked you got through your panties. he takes a sharp intake of breath, unable to stop his hand from dragging along the fabric or diving in straight away... no. you wanted this, you had to earn it.
• his lack of response but delight in touching you was confusing. your head drops in embarrassment, hiding the heat creeping up your face. "was... that right?" professor takahashi only replies with a hum, tilting his head to inspect your arousal further.
• he dives right into the next question, just as hungry as you were without admitting it. "what was the meaning behind the title?"
• you part your lips to pathetically guess, forgetting the passage had a title to begin with. your eyes are glassy, the words nearly impossible to distinguish. you want to cry by now, needing both a grade and something, anything to relieve what he's not providing you with. all you can sputter out in a shameful "i don't know."
• "yes you do," he really hopes so as he pulls your panties to the side, fully exposing yourself to him. he prays to god you know the answer, then he'd be able to take what he wants, fuck you into how he desires. he considered himself a pervert, a sick and twisted individual that shouldn't have the job he does. but seeing the way you ache and writhe for him assures he's right where he belongs. "think."
• you can't, you honest to god can't. your mind and body are fully disconnected, unable to access any cohesive part of your thoughts that would either tear yourself away, push yourself in deeper, or just completely shatter. his voice was pulling you apart, and in hindsight, maybe it always has. maybe he was just so alluring during his lectures you found it hard to focus on the work in front of you.
• a belt buckle clinks behind you, a sound that makes you clench onto nothing. kenshi frees himself, one hand squeezing the base of his cock and the other one pressing your back down, bending your body into a 90 degree angle. a mortifying wet slapping sound shocks your body as he taps his shaft against your cunt, your juices sticking and stringing in connecting threads each time he pulls away. your mind runs wild, wondering just how big he is, if his face is flushed or cold as always, but even still you dare not turn around.
• "again," he instructs with a huff, breath escaping him as he tries to regain his own composure. you're tearing him apart just as much as he is to you. "read it — hhh — again." the hand on your back trails to the back of your head, grabbing a fistful of your hair and guiding your sight back to the passage. through fluttering lashes, you manage to get a clear image of the text, racking your brain for an academic response when all you can focus on is his tight grip and heat from his cock.
• "s'a reference," you sputter out, hoarsely. "to the... irony."
• "of?" you can hear the smirk as he notches his tip into your entrance.
• "the... character's... fuck—" you pound a fist onto the desk, back arching and attempting to fruitlessly bounce back onto him, something he wouldn't permit just yet. "the main character's thoughts and inhibitions..." you try to crank out an answer as you clench your eyes shut, chasing your potential reward. "how good of a man he claims to be when he's just as evil as the villain." you speak so fast you're afraid professor takahashi misheard you, or was displeased with your tone. his silence is deafening and you feel tears prick at your eyes.
• you whine at his silence, but before you could cry his name out in frustration, his hand curls around your head and slaps against your mouth, pressing firmly to stop any noise from escaping.
• you feel like a wet, silenced, needy dog with the way he handles you, demanding and controlling the situation in a cruel and torturous manner. it makes you sick, he makes you sick. it's a terrible awful desire to want to be stuffed full of a professor, one you paid to teach you, and all he's teaching you is how to behave like a toy.
• as you near the verge of fighting back, a firm knock echoes on your professor's office door. a feminine voice pours through, authoritative and with obnoxious intent.
• "mr. takahashi," the calls through the door. "the board wanted your approval for the next steps we discussed in last week's meeting. is now a bad time?"
• his cock still pushing against your entrance, he clears his throat and adjusts his glasses, standing straight. "not at all," he replies nonchalantly, feigning innocence behind a thin wooden door. "one moment, if you could."
• she approves and you hear her lack of footsteps — she's right outside of the door. in one swift moment, kenshi discards the assignment, hoists your bottoms back into place nearly making you jump in the process, and cramming his dick back into his pants. you want to cry, whimper for any sort of guidance, internally laughing at yourself for suddenly needing his attention and help instead of being the aloof student you typically were.
• professor takahashi nods his head toward his desk, and you understand immediately — crouching down and tucking your legs against your chest, you bury yourself underneath his office desk and hold your breathing, trying to calm your racing heart... tonight has been a lot for it.
• he clacks toward the office door, swinging it open. you can only catch the faint noises and changes in lighting as they move about the office. kenshi's sure to circle back to his desk and sit down, giving his coworker no opportunity to join his side of the room.
• your breath is held tight as they talk about office jargon, words you're too afraid to hone in on in case you get spotted. you try to focus on the faint stripe pattern of his slacks, the tapping of his foot as he intently listens to the muddy words.
• "i must admit, tonight's a busy one for me," he bluntly admits to the woman, shifting his hips in his seat. "i've got a lot to catch up on, a lot of grades to fix. if you don't mind, it would be best for the both of us to put a pin in this and come back tomorrow morning." a polite smile graces his stern features, one you can yet again hear in his tone. your heart flutters at the thought of being alone with him again.
• "i'm at a crossroads here," the woman sweats, nervously chuckling. "we were hoping to do a late follow-up meeting after your approvals... as soon as our conversation is done. they're all waiting in the board room."
• professor takahashi audibly groans, leaning back in his seat. you take the brief moment of adequate lighting to smirk at the sight; his cock was still raging and angry from denial, pushing hard against his slacks. he was dying inside.
• "if we must do it tonight," he draws out his tone, standing abruptly. "alright."
• your stomach drops at the thought, cunt aching and drooling for more after getting only a taste. you wouldn't be able to sleep, eat, function until you're able to be split in half by his dick. fuck the assignments, there's something else you want to chase now.
• and you wish you could chase, frowning as you see them both leave the room, kenshi stock-still as always just as you peer over the wood to ensure you're free to escape. tonight was a disappointment all around, and not even five minutes on your walk back to your dorm your phone pings, a new email sitting in your inbox.
subject: office hours
thank you for reaching out for after-class help. my office is open anytime if you need anything from me. i'll be expecting you tomorrow to start.
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