#god thats alot of tags

[the-spog]

this took a while but I'm happy with it. I have started so many "draw all character from franchise" but never completed any so this is nice to complete.

although the artist curse already demands I redo the entire piece. constructive criticism welcome god knows I need it.

don't worry people who found me through guilty gear / Pokémon my ADHD will eventually circle back to it.

[newtoodles-dot-png]

I love stick figures

[eve-1xx]

oh i GOTTA !

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

[impostorsshow]

I'm actually so obsessed with him it's not even funny if i'm not listening to a TikTok or music directly related to him I can't focus free me free me

This is @/cherubpuppet's OC for a object show [au? pitch? wip show? How do I categorize this] and I've been destroyed by the fact that ruler art is infinitely superior [and 10x longer] and i don't have a good enough grasp on lip gloss's personality to make fanfiction so I am frozen in "want make fanart but fanart takes effort :["

[sluckythewizard]

adventures from a rly fun magma i got to relaxe in today

[vanilla-flavored-icecream]

I forgot to post this on here lmao, anyways Happy pride month!!! :)

[somefuckingguysblog]

rating how fuckable the men in God of War are (as a dilf lover and also a queer gay man)

1. Kratos, 10/10. I love big beefy men. What else can i say. For reasons i cannot express, he seems like a switch who prefers to bottom. Not that'd he'll tell anyone that.

2. Thor, 9/10. Again, I love big men. Points taken off for the alcoholism, but dudes trying. I'll get him therapy bc he needs it.

3. Týr, 10/10. Silly little man. Hes so skrunkly skrimblo. Also the imitial scene where he stands up compleatly and overshadows Kratos does things to me. I more wanna be friends with him and smoke that zaza of asgard but im giving him a 10/10 as compenation for forgetting him when i initially made this post.

4. Sindri, 10/10. I love him so fucking much i cannot even begin to explain it. He'd proabbly be very sweet but shy, hes not very experienced. Bfok has more expereince than him. Also, praise kink.

5. Brok, 9/10. Again, i cannot beguin to explain how much i love him. However, im taking points off just because while i do love him, i like Sindri way more. Also, if i had a dime for everytime ive liked a blue, short, crude older brother type, i'd have two dimes. which isnt alot, but itd weird that it happened twice right? (/ref) But he'd proabbly be suprisingly gentle, and prefer to bottom. Though hes not used ot it, he dosent mind being taken care of and probably has alot of body image issues,

6. Freyr, 7/10. I personally wouldn't fuck him, but i can see the appeal. Just not my kinda guy.

7. Mimir, 8/10. Man can GET IT. He knows how to please both men and women, and hes exceptional at giving head. (see what i did there lol) Points taken off for being only a head.

8. Heimdall, 0/10. I hate Heimdall with a passion, and i want to curb stomp his head in. Bro is lirerally a grown ass man and he picked a fight with a 16 year old child. Fuck off. Heimdall lovers dni./j

9. Baldur, 6/10. I contimplated putting him here, but i decided to because why not. I can see the appeal, and while i do love crazy men, hes a bit too crazy for my liking. Yall continue to slay.

10. Odin, 0/10. Self explanitory. I like old men, but not asshole manipulatirs. I also want to curb stoml his head in, but in a way thats already been done for me. (thanks Sindri <3)

[satorugojoswiife]

in light of the previous anon's ask, are there any confirmed/canon ships in jjk? i just got into the series this year and i've seen a lot of people claiming satosugu is canon, as well as yutamaki.

Kenjaku x yujis dad.

There aren't really many, if any canon ships in jjk now that I think about it??? There seems to be something between hakari and kirara but nothing has ever been officially confirmed.

They are both very popular ships, but neither satosugu or yutamaki are canon. I understand why lots of people ship them though.

I'm not 100% sure but I think a big reason for lots of people saying stsg canon is due to the 'my one and only' line in jjk0, but that is actually exclusive to the viz translation.

The direct jp to eng translation is 僕の親友だ。たった一人のね -> "It was my best friend. The only one I have"

Viz's version, 'my one and only', still technically works but tbh I kind of feel like they worded it like that on purpose, almost borderline queerbaiting, but yeah.

Aside from that the ship does have lots of other things going for it tho! Definitely an important relationship in the series and whether people would like to interpret it romantically or plantonically is up to them. As far as 'canon' goes I'd say it'd be platonic (as of right now with the information we have).

While love is a very prominent theme in the series (the most twisted curse of them all, 'teaching' sukuna about love, ect.) I feel its mostly explored in otherways than romantic. Whether it be familial, platonic, or whatever. jjk is definitely not a romance focused series, so I'm not sure if we ever will see any canon ships explored. I guess mechamaru was heavily implied to have a thing for miwa, but.. . well, we know how that ended 💀

omg so sorry I went off on a tangent there !! I feel like people focus too much on what is and isn't canon. But idk who cares about canon, just ship what you like 💖 I hope everyone enjoys shipping their fave ships and has a good day 👍💖

Also ily satosugu and yutamaki shippers I don't mean for this post to come off as dismissive of your ships I was just trying to be as factual as possible. Ignore me tho and continue loving your ships!!

[vilelittlecritter]

You ever sit in a fandom space for so long that now looking at it kind of makes you want to rip your nails off.

Yeah.

[nthee]

pspspspsps friends i need friends (or moots)

[localkaitostan]

vocaloid producers stop making/commissioning MVs with flashy lights challenge!!!

[amaranthdahlia]

kudoichi wedding art yyyay

and ofc heres the usual art dump lol

(context: was talking in our kdch gc and one of my moots had the idea that kudou gives yoichi his dog tags and my mind went BBRHRHRHR with it (my old ship also had a dogtag hc!!!! its sosjfkg)

(i just realized i COMPLETELY forgot about his scar oh my god thats literally his most distinct feature..... well sorry rip im too lazy to fix it)

(dude when kudou was shown wearing a shirt i had been ITCHING to draw yoichi wearing it (well i did before actually but it wasnt obvious lol))

(thanking ur heroes 101)

( sleeping hc, since kudou is described as a soldier i bet he sleeps like one too haha, and hc that yoichi had to curl into himself alot whenever he slept due to the cold weather in his childhood & having no proper house/beddings so it just stuck .... and also cus his brother recently had locked him up in a vault without any sort of blanket or comforter )

[bee-ina-boat]

heres a collection of concept art for the rest of the entities for the mythos au!! if you're wondering where the eye is, they've been drawn already!

they are all FAR from done. keep in mind these are all just my initial concepts and i plan to do in-depth design sheets as i go to explore their designs more.

IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS ON HOW TO IMPROVE THESE DESIGNS PLEASE THROW EM AT ME- MY ANON IS OPEN AND I READ TAGS I DONT CARE JUST!!!! GIMME!!!!!

(also au context: the magnus mythos is an au where the entities are all gods, similar to various religious mythology, rather than paranormal entities that feed on fear)

design thoughts for each of them under the cut

The Web - God of Fate (she/it): im pretty happy with her design atm, shes meant to be a half spider half woman thing and i love that for her. shes probably the one ive thought the most on so far given her importance to the story. i want her to wear silks and shiny silver jewelry that just sparkles like wet spiderwebs do, not sure if im gonna keep the veil?

The Dark - God of the Dark (she/he/it): probably my weakest concept at the moment. it doesnt do the dark any justice. i mean i like the cloak idea but i want them to be very tendrilly, all consuming, shadowy, but i dont know how to properly portray them :/

The Desolation - God of Destruction and Fire (they/it): i have a neat vision for them! i want them to be made of coal and ash and smoke, to be burning and glowing on the inside, and their body is decorated with melted wax to look like clothes. not quiiiiiite sure about how their melty candle dress is now? i want it to be less constrictive

The Stranger - God of the Unknown and the Whimsical (he/she/they/it): it's meant to be this. weird wirey creature hidden behind masks and a lot of fabrics, like the framework of a poseable plush doll? i like the way the masks look but im not so sure about the body.

The Vast - God of the Above (she/he/they/it): im not so sure about his design at all im gonna be real. i want them to look like the atmosphere and be covered in clouds and have mountains for feet and an ocean cape but i feel like it might be a bit?? idk??? im just not that happy with it :/

The End - God of Death and Time (they/it): ugh i love this concept sm, making death read as less scary and more divine is so fun. theyre based on a seraphim and a sand timer,

The Buried - God of the Underneath (she/he/they/it): ANOTHER OF MY FAVORITES!!!! i love them. theyre inspired by hermit crabs!! and they have silver chains holding their shell to them. they look so endearing with their lil lopsided eyes ;; <3

The Flesh - God of the Body and Meat (she/he/they/it): i have so many ideas for the flesh y'all- im very excited to do a concept sheet for them. theyre meant to have no skin, just exposed bone and muscle, large limbs, hooves, exposed heart underneath a ribcage, teeth that close around their abdomen. white bandages that wrap around like clothes. a teeth/horn crown? i dont quite know whether to go for a more animalistic look or a more human one? like- theres so many ways to go with him idek!!!

The Hunt - God of Predators and Pride (they/it): see, i like this design but i feel like its too werewolf like? yknow? thats cool!! but itreads more monster to me than God :/

The Corruption - God of Nature, Rot, and Disease (she/they/it): i love this weird bug thing. this one i was really inspired for (mostly because. corruption aligned. so obviously im gonna think about this one alot) theyre this weird bug thing, the veil is inspired by the one from the art on the wiki! i want to maybe make them a bit more gross and weird because nature is like that sometimes, a moot on tiktok suggested that i add animal bones!! and i think thats SO smart im absolutely going too

The Spiral - God of the Incomprehensible (it/its): this weirdo is so hard to pin down istg. i imagine them as this spiral thing. body is kindof liquidy, arms are spindly and long, multiple shifting faces, overall just constantly changing and moving and like!!! how am i meant to draw that??? when my brain cant even wrap my head around what its supposed to look like yknow??? bruh jrdbhgfjdldgfh- that being said i think the main problem with the design is that it just gives me too many Michael vibes!!! is it the hair? the arms? its probably both.

The Lonely - God of Solitude and the Self (they/it): i like what this one has going so far! theyve got fog hair, fog tears, their body is meant to be splotchy like turquoise marble, i vibe with it so hard. not so sure what to do with their outfit tho :/

The Slaughter - God of War (he/they/it): another one of my more stronger designs i think! centaur with weapons sticking into them, face concealed, medieval armor and antlers- it vibes

the extinction isnt drawn because i literally have no idea what they should look like aside from color palette-

once again any and all suggestions will be taken!!!! i need ideas!!! plese!!!!

[hellcatinnc]

Fluffruary Day 1 - Breath Taking First Glance

(First Sight)

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Warning This includes: SFW (Read Tags Before Continuing)

Tags: sfw, fluff, first sight, love at first sight, romance, romantic, rafayel, love and deepspace, merfolk, merman, under the sea, art, artwork

Word Count: 1,796

Feature: Rafayel x Fem! Reader

Theme: First Sight

@fluffruaryprompts

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Chapter 2

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Chapter 1

Your friends had been telling you about this art museum in town. However you never really much cared for art but you were tired of hearing them so you agreed to check it out that weekend. You got up that Saturday morning and didn't go all out on your makeup or clothing, just comfy jeans and nice shirt, some eyeliner and lip gloss and go. Its not like you planned on picking someone up in a art gallery that is the last place you would think to do that. So you get there and you are surprised how so many people are into art and you keep hearing people talk about this Rafayel guy who is supposed to be the main artist in todays gallery. You tried to find anywhere on the pamphlet you grabbed when you came in for a last name but you thought guess he is so popular he doesn't need a last name like the singer Prince. This made you laugh cause at least he isn't just a symbol.

You look over the pamphlet and go from each art piece to the next based on what it says about each of them. There wasn't much standing out to you til you got to this mural on the wall of the depths of the ocean. It had fish, dolphins, whales and merfolk in it and you were drawn to this piece like no other. So many had passed this one by but this was it, this piece talked to you. The thought of merfolk as a kid interested you like no other and whales and dolphins are some of your favorite creatures. You were taking it all in when you heard a voice "That is one of my favorites as well." You quickly wiped the tears that were trickling in your eyes away then look back at this man. He was so handsome, the purple hair casting a slight shadow across his face, his purple mix tented eyes were captivating, his skin looked soft and silky with a creamy tone, he was tall and had broad shoulders and absolutely the most beautiful man you had ever seen in your life. For the first time you felt like you believed in love at first sight. You were caught up in his looks you found your eyes settling on his soft plush lips that looked like they were so kissable.

He cleared his throat and you snapped out of it, you fumbled dropping the pamphlet. "Um yeah I think I love you too.. I mean I love it too.." You were so embarrassed your words were gone, your mind couldn't think about anything but him which caused you to mess up what you were saying, you sighed. He chuckled "Your cute, whats your name?" You smile and your face is own fire at the way he is looking at you, you're now questioning if you even remember your name. You push through and you catch his gaze, your cheeks still flushed "My, name is Y/N what about you?" He smiles at you then turns and walks away, you are so shook, what just happened. You were sure you messed it up with the fumble of your words, your eyes direct back to the painting and sigh.

About that time he walks back over to you holding a picture frame in his hand which left you curious. He turned it around and it was a picture of him then underneath it said his name Rafayel, then he pointed to the painting the plaque on the wall under the painting said the same. "Oh! Oh my god! Your.....H-him?!?" He smiles and nods "Thats right, but you, are the first to take alot of notice in this one picture and I am curious why. Do you have plans after this?" You couldn't believe he was standing right here in front of you, he was someone famous and you surely weren't drop dead gorgeous yet he wants to take you out and talk. Then you started wondering is it just cause the picture or is he actually interested in you. "N-no..." He chuckles, then reaches for your hand and pulls you with him. You gladly follow along not sure why, but you know your heart is beating so loudly you are sure he can hear it.

He walks you out the back door and walks you out towards the open beach that lays behind the art gallery. You are trying to keep up he is walking much faster than you yet still holding your hand. As you reach the waters edge he looks back at you as he releases your hand. "What does the ocean mean to you, the creatures in it?" He says with a more serious tone to it as he looks out in to the blue sea. Your not sure what he wants but you tell him about your love of the ocean and the sea creatures in it. He is now looking at you with such fascination yet doesn't say anything. You are hesitant on the last part thinking he might think your crazy..."Also merfolk I have been in love with the idea they exist since I was a little girl. So when I look out at the ocean I hope that deep down they do and your art made me feel like that hopeful little girl again." His face softly flushed pink, his ears had a tint of red to them to. He was embarrassed like he had some secret he wanted to tell you but wasn't sure how too.

"I'm going to trust you, because some reason I feel like I can." His words were shaky as he pulled out his hand blowing into and little blue fish swam around in thin air. You were so captivated by this magic you couldn't take your eyes off it and when you went touch, it faded. "W-What...was that?" He could see as you asked the curiosity and dreamy look in your eyes flickered. He took your hand and walked you towards the ocean as you walked further out you were starting to get scared. He could feel you start to tremble he turned back giving you a big hug and whispering in your ear "Trust me I will protect you, I just want to show you the world you have dreamed of does exist."

You let you heart rate relax as he said these words, you were going to trust him and you just didn't understand its like the moment you laid eyes on him it was like your heart was home, like it had found the missing half of your puzzle however you knew nothing about him and this all surprised you. Right now you were following a strange man you met over a hour ago into the ocean where you can't even swim, this could be the last day you breathe on earth yet your following him blindly. You realize love at first sight is blinder than you could imagine. As you get to where the water is about to go over your head, he is still holding you close as he looks at you and his eyes light up a beautiful bright blue. You are so alarmed by this but you never pull away because even though he has some kind of magic he is still holding you tight preventing you from falling.

He looks at you smiling with those pretty illuminated eyes staring back at you, now you find your smiling back at him. "Ready for the best part?" He says with a playful sound to his voice, you nod yes and he takes you into his arms picking you up as you look up at him he leans in and kisses your lips softly. You weren't expecting this but you kiss him back, then you realized he wasn't making out with you he was doing it to help you breathe. When he pulled away after a moment he chuckled, "There will be plenty of time for kisses, I promise." You were embarrassed that you thought he was trying to make out with you. Your face felt like it was on fire and you were sure your cheeks were probably really red by now. He plunges under the water and you go to gasp and no sooner you get under the water you realize your not drowning, you can breathe under the water yet your confused why.

You reach up touching your lips as you look at him his glowing eyes looking back you. You notice scale like area on the back of his neck such a sparkly blue, when your eyes finally look down. You see the most beautiful fanned out mer tail and you gasp. Then look back in his eyes "Wow...Your beautiful!" He smiled at her as he swayed his tail back and fourth keeping them in the same area. He held you close to him as he began to swim across the ocean bottom, you saw schools of fish flipping by, coral reefs lined the bottom area near rocks and tropical looking plants. The water made everything practically shimmer down below. You were so mesmerized how this world you hoped for so long existed and he showed you a world you only dreamed of. He eventually took you back to the beach and soon as he switched back to human his eyes flipped back to normal as well.

Once you were back standing in front of him on the ocean sand you look up at him and reach out for his hand. He meets you pulling you close to him. "Is this real? Are you real?" You had to ask because this seemed like some kind of fairy tale there was no way it was all real. "It is real, I am a merman. I am trusting you to keep that secret, but I want to see you again. Is that ok?" You were shocked by his request you wanted to see him again in and out of the water, you wanted to run away with him at this point but you didn't dare tell him that you didn't want to scare him. You nodded "Yes I want to see you again too. Can we go on a date maybe tomorrow?" You were surprised you were able to get that out and he smiled at you with the brightest smile you would ever see. "We will meet here at 3pm then, for now I have to go. Thank you for today, Y/N." As you waved goodbye you watched him walk to the gallery and back inside. You stood there flushed in the face, still soaking wet. You were excited to see what tomorrow would bring.

[nats-revival]

𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙞𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙖 𝙗𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 / 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙚 𝙗𝙤𝙩𝙝 𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙪𝙥 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙨 | 𝙚. 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙖𝙢𝙨

pairing: ellie williams x afab!black!reader

tags: told from readers pov and ellies pov, alternates between third person and first person, sorta angsty, fluff at the start, basically ur dina lol, jj isnt here tho, one use of y/n, one description of reader (just hair?? i think that’s it), ellie has ALOT of inner turmoil, reader lowkey knows that tho, great music/artists (not to toot my own horn but the songs and artists mentioned are BANGERS!!!!), sorta canon typical universe, mentions of abby and tommy (not really any actual involvement in the story.. well, sorta ig), ellie refers to reader as ‘she’, and i think thats it!!

a/n: lowkey thinking abt making a part two but everytime i start a series i always end up stopping at the second chapter. 😭 anyways, ill get to finishing those other requests diligently! 😇🙏 also ignore the fact i added hella tags, its prolly like random stuff but just trust me bro its in here!!!

Ellie was acting weird. Like, really weird. After Tommy had come and gone, something shifted inside of her. Like he’d altered her brain chemistry in some strange way. She was much quieter and she was biting her nails — a habit she’d picked up whenever she was thinking or nervous. You stand in the kitchen cleaning up some dishes as a Lauryn Hill vinyl plays softly. Ellie didn’t know much about your music taste but god, did she love it. She loved lots of things about you, your cooking, learning about your culture, how you helped her broaden her outlook on the world with the lessons instilled into you by your parents and grandparents. It was something she valued above all else. You found yourself humming along to the tune of the music and occasionally mumbling the lyrics. The stairs creaked as she walked down them rather slowly. The sound of the record player being on made her wonder what you were up to. She picks up the sleeve the vinyl had been in and she reads it. “‘The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill’? You’re always listenin’ to this record. It must be your favorite then, I presume.”

She walked over to you while you were drying off a plate. “It’s a classic, Ellie. Who doesn’t like this album?” You ask as a small smile creeps onto your face. She’d always made you smile, but it now just seemed like she was trying to deter you from the fact that something had obviously been going on in her mind. She leans against the counter, looking over her shoulder at the setting sun. She hadn’t said anything as she alternates between looking at the sunset, you washing the dishes and nodding her head to the beat of the songs playing. Once the dishes have been washed, you rummage through the cabinets for a small candle. It was one Ellie liked. It smelled like some sweet citrus scent and the label had been rubbed off. You reach into a drawer and pull out a box of matches. You strike it until it burns and you light each wick, then putting the match out. 

   Then, you stop the record and put it back in its sleeve. “I should get you another vinyl. Who else do you listen to?” Ellie asks as she steps behind you. You shrug. “In the old world, I listened to a lot of music. I had a Walkman but yknow, someone stole it.” “That sucks. I had a Walkman aswell at some point. Never saw it again.” She pushes her hands into the pockets of her worn jeans and you nod in response. You let out a little yawn. “I think I’ll go to sleep soon.” You mumble to yourself as you turn to Ellie. “Yknow, for my birthday, you could get me like a.. New Edition one if you could find it.” You suggest with a smile. “You got it, babe. I’ll search as hard as I can.” She smiled softly and kissed your cheek. You return the kiss and begin walking up the stairs.

    You head for the bathroom to shower. The water never got as hot as you preferred but you couldn’t complain. At least you’d been getting some water. The water was lukewarm. Your clothes had been discarded on the floor. You step into the shower and your mind begins racing. You were there the entire time Tommy had been talking to Ellie. You’d opened the door to him. You watched him limp into the dining room. You let him in! You were starting to think that wasn’t a good idea as you washed your body. Ellie tended to rethink her actions and doubt herself a lot. You couldnt like, literally see inside of her mind, but you knew she had lots of inner turmoil. Killing people and the undead coupled with trauma definitely wasn’t an easy task to balance. You could see it in her. But she was addicted to that sense of justice. She felt compelled to protect the ones she loved even if it meant it was self destructive. 

   As you exited the shower, you found Ellie sitting on your shared bed awake. “Ellie, are you not tired?” You ask softly as you dress yourself. “No, well, yeah. I was just.. waitin’ for you.” You nod in response. You wore a pair of shorts and a shirt with some faded graphic that appeared to be from some Mortal Kombat game. You sat next to her and you grabbed her hand gently. Your thumb runs over her knuckles. “Yknow you can talk to me. I’ll listen, Ellie. I’m here for you.” She mumbled a soft ‘I know’ before she leaned her head against your shoulder. The moonlight shines through the windows, gently illuminating your features and Ellie’s. You could hear the windchimes outside swaying with the wind. “Cmon, let’s get some rest.” You suggested as you walked over to your side of the bed. You knew Ellie had a hard time sleeping most nights, and some days it was visible on her face. You just wanted her to sleep for one night. In a way, you knew why she couldn’t sleep. Maybe because she wanted to protect you from whatever may stumble in here while you’re in your most vulnerable state, or maybe because her self-decapitating thoughts were  eating her alive. You laid in the bed, facing Ellie as she settled in the bed. 

    In one hand held her switchblade (she went to sleep holding it most nights.) She looks at you with a tired smile as one of her hands comes up to gently caress your face. “When this is all over, ‘m gonna give you the whole goddamn world.” She mumbled as she leaned forward to give you a soft peck. “I’d do the same for you. I’d get you everything you could possibly ever want.” Moments like these were your favorite moments to have with Ellie. Her words of affirmation, love and even her promises were all you could ever think about whenever you couldn’t sleep. You knew she meant everything she said because of the sincerity in her voice. You smiled to yourself. Ellie saw you and she smiled too. You turn to her. “Ellie?” “Yeah?” “Don’t leave me. Not ever. I can’t lose you, I still have so much to show you.” There was this kind of.. expression on her face. Uncertainty. Worry. Compassion. Her response was small, as if she wasn’t sure if she’d ever abide by this unspoken promise to you. “I won’t.” You smiled softly before you got a little closer to her, holding her in your arms as you drift off into sleep. 

(Ellie’s POV now lol)

She was so close. Holding me as if she’d never let go. Thoughts were too much. My mind is racing. I keep seeing him. Tommy did something to me. I couldn’t just.. leave my girlfriend. The one who’s been with me through thick and thin. A woman like this wasn’t easy to come by, especially during an apocalypse. The moonlight was always my favorite light to see her under. She’d been glowing, god, she was beautiful, ethereal even. The way her braids sprawl over the pillow, her soft breathing, the soft thumps of her heart were all I would’ve needed in a perfect world. The draft coming through the window gave my goosebumps. We’d been laying here for a few minutes. It was amazing how fast she could fall asleep. The switchblade I hold has a reflection from the moons light. I see myself in the blades reflection. I look away.

  Something inside of me screams ‘Go get her. Go kill Abby. Finish the job like Tommy suggested.’ Slowly, I slide out of the bed. Standing in the middle of the room, I realize that there are some windows open. Shuddering, I go to close them. I made sure to keep my footsteps light so the floor didn’t creak. After closing the windows upstairs, I go into the room my art was stationed in. There was a box under my desk containing my journal. I know she never looked through it because I didn’t want her to and she respected that. I flip through the pages of it, looking back at my entries. There’s an entry in my journal. ‘Sometimes, I hear people talking. They tell me to do bad things. I know I shouldn’t. But how do I ignore a voice so loud? I should tell (Y/N). I can’t tell her. I don’t want to ruin this for her. She seems.. happier when she’s not constantly running for her life.’ The note was next to a few sketches of her and moths I’d roughly sketched. I was tired of the voices. I return the journal and walk downstairs to close the rest of the windows downstairs. I stop infront of my guitar. 

  I sit down, strumming a few cords before I stop. ‘Go get her. Go kill Abby. Kill Abby. Show her what pain feels like. She killed Joel. Finish the job.’ The voice was repeating. It was driving me insane. The voices came after we left Seattle. I want the cycle to end. Nothing ends if I just ask it to. That’s in some.. nonexistent world. My skin crawls with this need. Not the kind I feel when I look at her and her beautiful face and body. It was bloodlust. A vicious cycle never ends, that’s what makes it so vicious. This is the continuation of a cycle I can't break. “I have to do this.” I mumble. I move mindlessly as I gather my things and get ready. I have to kill Abby. I feel like my only purpose in life is to protect, sacrifice, and suffer in silence. Killing Abby seems like.. my magnum opus right now. She tells me that ‘violence isn’t the answer’ and to ‘control my urges’ but I can’t.      As I stand in the kitchen, putting the last of my things into my backpack, the stairs creak. She’s awake. Fuck. She wasn’t supposed to wake up. God, don’t look at me. Don’t do this to me, I need to do this— “Ellie? What’re you doing?” Her voice makes me freeze in place. I don’t move. I stare at her. Her tired eyes. The longing in her eyes for some sorta.. normality in her life. Our life isn’t normal and has never been normal. Was anything normal in this life? Who knows. Nobody knows. Matter of fact, I don’t know.