#god praise benadryl

[callsign-bunnie]

(I'm still alive just increasingly uninterested in this blog)

Allergy medicine was made with the idea that "as long as I'm not conscious, I can't be sneezing my brains out"

I respect it

[helplessly-nonstop]

Quarantine Cutie (A.I. imagine)

As a celebration for finishing my finals, I decided to finish my Ashton quarantine fic! Thank you so much @wrestlingfae​ for enabling in writing this piece! She’s a true all-star! Anyway! Let’s get into it! Ashton and OFC reader are roommates. Reader has a cough from their allergies so Ash quarantines them to their room. 

WC: 4659 

Warnings: bit of angst, fluff, kisses, that’s really all 

Ashton was always a good roommate, I truly couldn’t ask for anyone better. But being in quarantine brought out the affectionate side of him. At first, I thought nothing of it. It started when I had coughed out on the patio, due to the smoke that had blown in with wind. The glass door slid open and Ash raised an eyebrow at me, asking, “Is everything okay? Heard you cough.” 

I laughed quietly and gestured towards the neighbor’s firepit, chiming, “They’re having a bonfire, just got some smoke in my face.” He nodded in understanding then stretched out his water bottle to me as he offered, “You want a drink to wash the smoke away?” Thinking nothing of it, I took a sip and passed it back, watching as the smoke rose into the sky, forming clouds that complimented the midnight sky. 

Ashton waved me inside and I leaned into him, muttering, “I’m so tired. How much longer do you think we’re going to be quarantined?” He shrugged then tugged me onto the couch, curling underneath a blanket before he turned on Netflix, replying, “I dunno, hoping not long. Whatcha wanting to watch tonight?” I curled into his side and muttered, “Hell, you pick. I really don’t care.”

One of the perks of being in quarantine was that Ashton was home much more. The only time he really left the house as of right now was to get groceries. But since he was the one bringing home groceries, I was often the one in charge of putting the food away. One day I decided to bake but unfortunately, I couldn’t find sugar. 

“Yo, Ash, do we have any more sugar?” I called out, rifling through the cupboards in search of sugar to mix into my coffee. When I didn’t receive an answer, I grumbled and walked into his room, pausing when I noticed that he was on a Zoom call with the boys. I snuck behind him and formed bunny ears with my fingers, moving them. Calum grinned as he realized that Ash wasn’t alone then Luke and Michael took notice of my presence. My roommate glanced up at his own square and pursed his lips as he turned to me. 

“Need something, sweetheart?” he asked, raising an eyebrow as I dropped my bunny ears. I waved to the boys then answered, “Sugar. Do we have anymore or are we out?” He paused at the question and I let him mull over the question before he replied, “Cupboard beside the fridge behind the brown sugar, there should be a small bag of sugar cubes. I’ll put it on the list.” I nodded in understanding then kissed his cheek, saying, “You’re the best. See you guys later!” 

I grinned when I realized that his cheeks were now pink then left the room, delighted that I managed to draw a blush from my cool headed roommate before I returned to the kitchen, prepared to make cookies. By the time Ashton had ended his call, I was nearly finished with banking, content with the size and taste of my delicious creations. 

“Looks good. Mind if I have one?” he asked, gesturing down to the counter covered with cookies. I waved an inviting hand towards the baked goods and answered, “Be my guest, I’m not going to eat them all.” He grabbed and grabbed two cookies off the wax paper before gifting me with a kiss on the cheek. I ducked my head as I felt my face flush then pulled the last batch of cookies from the oven, placing them on the last bit of space on the counter. 

“Mm, these are amazing. I can’t believe how good you are at making cookies.” he praised as he finished his first cookie. I smiled at him then replied, “All you do is follow a recipe, Ash, it isn’t hard.” He ruffled my hair then chimed, “Eh, Who needs to follow recipes when you can make them for us?” 

Having such a good roommate, I was sure that I wouldn’t go stir crazy with him. But that was before the pollen came in. My allergies began to flare with the spring season and this year decided to gift me with an awful cough. The first few times, my roommate just glanced over at me with concern in his eyes but let it slide nonetheless. As my coughing became more violent, however, he decided to draw the line. In fact, the line rested at the doorway of my room. 

Ashton had shoved me inside my room with a bag of snacks then slammed the door behind me, locking it. In the moment, I remembered that I never switched my door handle to have the lock on the inside of the door then I pounded at the door and snapped, “Ashton Irwin, what the hell do you think you’re doing?! I told you, it’s just a cough, I have allergies!” 

“Sorry, kid, I can’t risk it! Just lay down, relax for a couple days, doctors recommend fourteen days actually!” he replied, clearly leaning against the door. I paced at the foot of my bed and retorted, “Oh my god, I don’t have the coronavirus, would you let me out already? This is ridiculous.” He unlocked the door and peeked his head in as he said, “Let’s make a deal. You self isolate for a week. I bring you meals and meds, do the cleaning. You can just relax, no big deal.” 

I narrowed my eyes at him and muttered, “Fine, whatever. Can I have some Benadryl?” Ashton raised an eyebrow at me then asked, “When was the last time you ate?” I began thinking back to when I last ate and apparently, I took too long to answer because Ashton chirped, “I’ll bring you something to eat, don’t move.” 

Sighing, I settled underneath my covers and turned on Netflix. Being isolated to my room would allow me time to start and possibly finish a show, which made this isolation a bit better but overall I wasn’t thrilled to do this. 

Sure enough, however,  Ash returned with a bowl of soup with an old bandana modified into a mask. I pursed my lips at him, unimpressed with the caution he was taking, then stated, “I told you, it’s just allergies. You can’t catch allergies, Ash.” 

“Sorry, sweetheart, can’t risk it. Here, it’s vegetable beef soup, nice and hearty to knock that cold. Yell for me when you’re done and I’ll bring you Benadryl.” I nodded in understanding then began eating my food after Ashton disappeared back into the living room. The soup was warm and managed to quell my cough long enough for my roommate to check back in. 

“Hey, kid, how you feelin’?”he asked, claiming the foot of my bed as I passed him my now empty bowl. I cleared my throat as I sunk deeper into my blankets then answered, “Pretty okay. My ribs hurt from coughing though.” He cradled my side and murmured, “I’m sorry, I know how that feels. You ready for some allergy meds?” I nodded and he passed me my water that was sitting beside my bed then shook a pill into the palm of my hand. 

I took the medicine and Ashton stood up before brushing the hair out of my eyeline then stated, “I’ll be back in to check on you in an hour, sweetheart. Make sure you stay propped up, ‘kay? If it is just a cough from allergies, it’ll help it drain and make it easier to cough.” I nodded in understanding then he left my room, allowing me to settle back into my Netflix binge. 

When my roommate did return, the allergy medicine had already taken effect, luring me into a delightful nap. As I woke up, I realized that Netflix was currently wondering if I was still there, which meant that I had slept longer than I intended. I began to crawl out of bed, just as my door opened, revealing Ashton holding a plate. 

“Hey; you’re awake! Only took you three hours to wake up. I’m guessing you’re hungry though.”he stated, handing me my plate. I smiled in thanks then murmured, “Starving actually. I appreciate you making me food. I really do have the best roommate a person could ask for.” Ash flushed with color and scratched the back of his neck as he chimed, “Yeah well, you’d do the same for me. Alright, I’ll leave you be, let you eat. Lemme know when you’re done so I can grab your plate.” 

I nodded in understanding and Ashton took his leave once again, desperate to stay healthy as possible. 

The first two days went smooth, with Ashton checking on me occasionally through the day, bringing me water, food, and medicine when I requested it. However, by the third day, the annoyance had set in. Isolation makes even the kindest person cranky and when your roommate actively avoids you aside from bringing you the essentials you need, it only brings out the worst of a person. 

Ashton had peeked in once again, a half an hour before he was originally ��scheduled” to, just to question, “You good, bro?” I pulled a stray pillow from the pile then threatened, “Ashton, I really do appreciate you checking in on me but I swear to God, I’ll chuck a pillow at your head if you ask me if I’m good again.” He flashed that familiar smile then tipped his head at me before leaving me once again. 

But just an hour later, he gave a soft knock to my door, allowing me time to grab a pillow but as he began to slip inside and took notice of my weapon, he shouted, “Wait, I have food! Don’t fire!” I began to lower my pillow then questioned, “What kind of food?” 

“Your favorite, nice and hot. C’mon, you don’t want me to drop this!” he insisted, offering the food to me. I pursed my lips at him and asked, “Is this a peace offering for you being so overbearing?” 

“You think I’m being overbearing?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowing together as he frowned. I paused  at the tone of his voice before taking a bite then answered, “Kinda? Not in a bad way, more of a big brother way.” Ashton stared down at me in silence, those hazel eyes churning with a multitude of emotions, and backed out of the room with a quiet, “Just set your bowl on your night stand.” 

I stared down at the meal he made and cursed the way that my stomach turned in protest, desperate to find out what I had said that made him turn away so quickly, but decided that I needed to eat before I began to construct possible theories behind Ashton’s sudden departure from my room. 

Unfortunately though, I didn’t get the chance to ask him that night. My allergy medicine had already taken root and I was asleep by the time that he had come in to collect my dishes and give me a fresh water bottle. 

When the morning came, I had decided to get up and walk around the house for a bit. Unfortunately Ashton was out doing errands so I was unable to ask him. I made me a bowl of cereal and settled at the dining room table in hopes that my roommate would be back soon. But alas, an hour passed and he still wasn’t home, so I resigned to my bed once again.  

Just as I cracked open the door, my phone began to ring with the FaceTime tone and my heart leaped with the possibility of it being Ashton, once for my hopes to be cracked. It was Michael, likely calling to check in. Knowing my roommate, he had told the boys what was going on. 

“Hey, Ash told me you’re sick. What’s goin’ on, you catch corona?” Mikey asked after I answered the FaceTime call. I scowled at the mention of me being sick then protested, “I do not have the fucking coronavirus, I just have allergies, so he’s isolating me.” My friend raised an eyebrow at the statement and replied, “You know he’s just doing it because he cares about you.” 

“Yeah, I know, he’s in full big brother mode but now he’s not talking to me.” I said, shifting against the mound of pillows I had constructed behind me. I could see the confliction in Michael’s eyes as he became silent, clearly debating on how he was going to respond to what I said, then he asked, “Ashton… not talking to you while you’re sick. What’d you do?” 

“I- I kind of told him that he was being overbearing in a big brother sort of way then he left and I’m pretty sure that he’s avoiding me now.” We stared at one another then Michael stated plainly, “You’re pretty dense if you haven’t figured out that Ashton doesn’t want to play the big brother role with you.” 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I demanded, sitting up. His emerald eyes narrowed at my question then he answered, venom lining his tone, “Ask him that yourself.” Almost on cue, I heard the front door open and shut, alerting me that Ashton had returned from his errands for the week. I glanced back to the call then Mikey assured me, “Just go talk to him. I’ll check on you later.” I nodded in understanding and slid out of bed before I peeked out of my room, surprised to see that Ashton had brought back takeout for lunch. 

I shut my door behind me and he glanced towards me, surprised to see that I emerged from my bedroom then he gestured towards one of the bags, murmuring, “Your food’s in that one.” My chest panged at the coldness of his gesture but still, I smiled and took the lunch he brought, chiming, “Thank you, I appreciate it.” He nodded and turned away, as if he was willing me to disappear before I stated, “Listen, I wanted to say I’m sorry. About last night, I’m sorry that I called you overbearing. I know that you’re just trying to take care of me.” 

Ashton kept his back to me for a few seconds then he turned with a bright smile across his face, assuring me, “Kid, it’s no big deal. I know I can go a little far with people who I care about. I’m sorry if I crossed a line. You should take your food and go back to your room though, I really don’t want to catch anything.” I nodded in understanding then grabbed my food before making my way back to my room, satisfied that we were back to normal. God I was fucking wrong though. 

For the next two days, Ashton actively avoided me at every turn. He brought me an unopened pack of allergy pills, both drowsy and non-drowsy, along with a small case of water to keep at the foot of my bed. Anytime he brought me food, he would simply hand it to me and walk right back out. 

Thankfully my cough was finally gone, so I emerged when I heard him play his drums, the sounds vibrating through the walls of our home. His practice room was at the far end of the house and I couldn’t help but hum along to the beat he was playing. If memory was serving me correctly, it was Thin White Lies, a song that had broken my heart the first time I was allowed to listen to it.  

I cracked open the door wide enough to slip into the room and watched as my roommate continued to drum, losing himself in the music that he had worked so hard on. His hair flopped with the beat and I couldn’t help but snicker at the sight, shaking my head. And silly me, I just happened to do so, just as he started a rest. 

I cursed under my breath when Ashton glanced up, shoulders heaving as he caught his breath then he said simply, “Sup kid.” 

“You’re avoiding me.” I pointed out simply, toying with the hem of my shirt. He blinked up at me, setting his drum sticks at his feet, then asked, “Why do you say that?” I stared at him and took a small step forward, exclaiming, “You’re not even denying it! Ashton, you’ve barely said ten words to me in the last three days! Was it because I called you overbearing?” 

He took a deep breath and claimed his water bottle from the floor then began making his way out of the room, only for me to grab his hand, insisting, “See, you’re just brushing me off! Listen, just tell me what I did wrong, I’m sorry! I’m not a damn mind reader!” He brushed me off and replied almost coldly, “You don’t need to be a mind reader to know why I’m avoiding you, kid.” 

“Dammit Ashton, just give me a straight answer, why are you pissed off at me!?” I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest. He sighed and glanced over his shoulder before he replied, “You called me overbearing, said I was acting like your big brother. I don’t want to be your brother. Simple as that. Now, please, just let me have a few hours to myself.” 

“That’s why you’re avoiding me? Why didn’t you just say that before, I told you I was sorry about it!” I insisted, half tempted to stomp my foot to get my point across. My roommate stared at me for a few moments then he snapped, “I’m avoiding you because I’m tired of having this same damn argument with you. So just get out of my practice room and leave me alone.” 

We glared at each other for a few seconds then I stormed out, slamming the door for good measure before stalking into my room. I paced the length (and width) of my bed before I finally got dizzy and decided to take a seat. I tapped my fingers together and laid back, staring at the swirls of my ceiling then I considered calling Michael, only to decide against it. Something told me that if I called him, it would only end in an argument much like it did with Ashton and I. 

A few hours later my stomach began to growl so I decided to go make food, quickly deciding on grilled cheese as my simple dinner. After fixing my sandwiches, I considered sitting at the table, hoping that Ashton would come out for his own food but returned to my room nonetheless. Whenever we had a fight, it would take at least a couple hours for both of us to become level headed once again, so it was better for us to stay on opposite sides of the house for now. 

I tried falling asleep after finishing my dinner but insomnia decided to make a pit stop inside my mind, driving me to watch Criminal Minds before my stomach began to growl again. I frowned at the sound and grumbled when I realized that I would need to eat before I was able to fall asleep, so I walked out of my room in search of something to eat. 

I rummaged through the cabinets, quickly eliminating anything that I had to stand and cook, then decided on a bowl of cereal to sate my hunger for the night. I grabbed a bowl and spoon then pulled the milk from the fridge after pouring my chosen cereal before completing my simple one in the morning meal. I glanced to my bedroom door then decided against taking the cereal to bed and curled up on the couch to eat while I continued to watch Criminal Minds on my phone.

I was so engorged in eating my cereal and watching the current episode of Criminal Minds that I didn’t even hear Ashton approach me until he asked, “What are you doing? It’s one in the morning.” I glanced up at his question and back down at my cereal before I answered, “I uh… I got hungry. I guess grilled cheese isn’t all that satisfying unless you have something else to eat with it.” 

“So you’re eating cereal?” I stared guiltily down at the floor then replied, “Cereal is filling, especially at one in the morning when you’re too tired to make yourself an actual meal, Ashton.” After a few more moments of silence, he claimed the space beside me and settled into the cushions, watching as the BAU chased after an unsub, then I returned to eating my food. When I finished my bowl, I set it on the small coffee table and murmured, “Mind if I lean on you?” His eyes flickered towards me in surprise and he gave a small nod, saying, “Go for it.” 

I curled into his side and he sat stiffly against me as I tried to focus on my show once again. But our argument from earlier in the week was weighing on my mind and the tugging in my chest refused to quit until I murmured, “I want to talk about our fight.” 

“I was being overbearing, you didn’t want me to be. So, I stopped. In my eyes, there’s nothing to talk about.” Ashton stated, focused on the television. I sat up and stared at him as I insisted, “I wasn’t being fair to you! You were just trying to take care of me and I was a bitch to you.” 

“You really want to talk about this at one in the morning?” he drawled, coming to a stand. I huffed and jumped to my feet, snapping, “Yes, I know it’s one in the morning, would you quit bringing that up?! You refuse to talk to me through the day, so yeah, why not the middle of the fucking night?” He tilted his head at me then asked, “Have you even considered why I don’t want to talk about this? Why Michael told you that I didn’t want to play big brother to you?” 

“Yes! I know I’m not a child, Ashton, so of course you don’t want to play big brother! You already have to do that with your actual siblings, why would you want to do that with your roommate?” I retorted, running a hand through my hair. He gave a small chuckle, void of humor, then stated, “I’m well-aware of the fact that you’re not a child. In fact, that’s one of the reasons why I didn’t want to be seen as a big brother to you. God you’re fucking blind if you really don’t know the real reason why I took care of you when you had your cold.” 

“Then call me Ray Charles because I can’t see what everyone else can apparently!” I snapped, throwing my hands into the air. He stifled a small chuckle and replied, “You’re so much more beautiful than Ray Charles is.” I paused at the compliment, not expecting that statement before the pieces of this unnecessarily difficult puzzle known as Ashton and I’s relationship began to fall into place. 

“Y-You call me sweetheart. You just called me beautiful. Oh my fucking god, you didn’t want me saying that you were acting like my older brother because you like me. You like me even though I exceed the dense meter. I’m a thousand on a one to ten scale of how blind I am to how people feel about me.” I stuttered, raising my hands to chew on my nails, only for Ashton to place a gentle hand over my fingers before they met my lips. 

“Don’t… I should’ve been more straightforward like the boys suggested me to do.”my roommate replied, shrugging. My mouth fell open then I rushed out, “How long have you been flirting with me?” 

“Probably about a year and a half? Maybe more, lads probably know the exact amount, bastards would always ask me if I made an official move on you but the answer was always the same. Didn’t seem like the right time.” I stared at the dark haired man then sunk to my knees, whining, “Oh my god, you’ve been flirting with me for the last year and a half and I never noticed. Someone take my vision away, I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve my common sense either, holy shit, I really didn’t realize that you were flirting. I thought I was just projecting my feelings onto whatever you said so I did my best to ignore it but fuck, you were actually flirting. And I blew you off.” 

“On the bright side, I won the bet that I’d admit my feelings to you during quarantine. Granted, this wasn’t exactly the scenario I was imagining, but oh well.” Ashton laughed quietly, scratching the back of his neck as he settled beside me on the floor. I pressed my face to his shoulder then groaned, muttering, “Why didn’t you say anything? I’m so blind to actual advances and you just let me continue thinking we were only roommates.” 

He cupped my face and I met his gaze, nearing sighing at the softness of his eyes before he admitted softly, “You were the best damn roommate I ever had. I didn’t want to lose you just because you knew that I had been crushing on you for the last year and you didn’t feel the same way.” I pulled him into a tight hug and mumbled, “You're going to make me cry then I’m going to be mad cause my sinuses are going to act up.” He laughed quietly and tugged me to my feet before he assured me, “I’m not trying to make you cry, I’m just being honest with you, sweetheart.” 

Ashton glanced down at me and flashed a smile, brushing my hair out of my face then he asked, “Can I have a kiss?” I smiled softly at him and replied, “Are you going to stop quarantining me in my room when my allergies flare up again?” He chuckled and cupped my face, murmuring, “I suppose it could be arranged, sweetheart.” 

“Kiss me then.”  He leaned into me and kissed me, a hand sliding into my hair as I grabbed his shoulders, sighing into the kiss. He pulled back with a grin across his face and murmured, “I’ve been waiting to do that for so long.” My eyes fluttered up then I replied, “Do it again then.” 

The next day, Ashton was once again on a call with the boys and I was on lunch making duty, since he had been so kind to make all of my meals during this last week. I knocked quietly on the door and he turned in his chair to face me, that bright smile across his face, chirping, “Oh, food! Thank you, sweetheart, you’re the best!” 

I blushed at the attention he had drawn to me and I could see Michael grin as Calum and Luke exchanged impressed glances before I quickly kissed Ash on the cheek, beginning to walk back out, only for him to grab my hand and tug me backwards, whining, “Come back, baby, I want an actual kiss.” 

I laughed at his insistence and leaned down to meet him for a kiss as he set his food on his desk. He groaned as I pulled away then waved at the boys, chiming, “See you guys soon hopefully!” They waved back in return and I bent down to whisper in Ashton’s ear, “You hurry up with your call and food and there might be a little surprise for you in your bedroom.” 

His eyes widened at the implication and bit his bottom lip before he muttered, “You’re going to be the death of me.” I let out a laugh and exited the room, shaking my head. Quarantine wasn’t so bad after all.

[herstoryherlegacy]

Expect the unexpected

(Trigger warning - lots of throw ups)

This has never really been my motto. Most things in my life have been expected or I’ve had signs pointed out to me that gives me a hint of what lies ahead. I was not expecting to be in the ER tonight. Actually I was just about to put my makeup on and do a lovely couples photoshoot with my husband when I got the call to come to the ER for possible blood clot in my lungs. Let me back up..

I had been healing from my port placement 3 days ago. Yesterday I was texting Juan updates on how I was feeling. I’m extremely thankful he was so diligent on checking in on me. My main concern was the tightness in my chest, pressure where the port is. I couldn’t take a deep breath. I felt better resting. I had even been doing light housework to stay up and active. Today he checked in again. The chest pressure was better. I could actually take a deep breath with little to no problem. Fast forward to this afternoon. I had went down to my best friend Sam’s salon to get my hair styled for my photoshoot. She’s on the 2nd floor and we took the stairs. My favorite part. I hadn’t exercised since my diagnosis and it’s been killing me. I was so active. Upon reaching the 2nd floor which was not far, I was winded. I text Juan letting him know, and he didn’t respond right away. I sat down, caught my breath, and got my hair done. As soon as I parked at home Juan called. He was consulting his doctor and advised I go in ASAP to an urgent care to be seen. I needed an x-ray, EKG, oxygen levels checked to rule out a possible blood clot in the lungs. Fuck me..

Disappointed to say the least. I walked into my home filled with laughter from my girls and their cousins, everyone gathered at the table for a meal, my in laws were visiting. All I could say was, we have to go to urgent care. I didn’t even kiss my babies goodbye 😕 I said goodbye to them but not thinking I wouldn’t be back tonight didn’t cross my mind. Now I wish I had. I arrived at a local urgent care before closing and the first thing I noticed in the lobby were vases of fake sunflowers. By pure coincidence, I use a sunflower background when I update my stories about my disease. I immediately knew this was God’s way of telling me he was with me and that I would be okay. I went into a room to be evaluated, and guess what kind of shoes the nurse was wearing? I’d never seen these before, but white vans with yellow sunflowers all over. There are no coincidences! However I wasn’t helped and was told to go to the ER.

No one likes to be in the ER, especially not right now. I had labs drawn, and an x-ray which showed proper placement of the port. Luckily Juan was here working and able to be there for my x-ray. He came to see me once more before he left to tell me he was going to communicate with the doctor about my CT and insulin complications. I had mentioned I was waiting for my husband to bring my charger because I was basically on E, and he graciously went to retrieve his charger to give to me. So extremely thankful for that gesture because alone, with no connection to my family in this place, is NOT the business. A charged phone is a precious lifeline so please always keep yours charged! So now..I wait for the CT.

I had been moved all over that ER. First I came to a bed and talked with a nurse. Then another nurse came in demanding she needed the bed. Once I was done I was booted off that bed so fast and into a chair in a hallway. The place was littered with sick people inside and outside rooms. It was so sad and crowded. I do believe I was mixed with both normal sick people and possible covid patients. To say I was nervous is an understatement. Back and forth I went between rooms, chairs, main waiting room, and scans. The longest wait was waiting to have my CT scan. I was in a room with chemo type reclining chairs. This poor girl in front of me was dealing with pain, bad. I felt so sorry for her. She was doing a good job being quiet but her face and body language looked like she was in active labor, though she was not. After watching I assumed she was suffering some sort of abdominal pain. When it was just us two, I didn’t want to make her talk, but I told her that I didn’t know what she was going through but that I was going to cover her in prayer. Her eyes lit up. She said thank you a bunch and I just assured her that I had her taken care of. I prayed with healing words. No matter what situation I’m in, I would never turn down the opportunity to put myself aside and pray for someone else who needed it more. I have failed this test before many times being too shy to pray, but you never know how those simple words of offering someone prayer may help them feel better. I wanted to cry, yeah I was in here for a possible life threatening issue, but I was nowhere as bad off as these people.

So I prayed for her, and eventually it was my turn to go to my CT. I had an IV put in, flushed, and had 3 medications to help me with my scan. One was Benadryl. I was actually glad to have it because I’ll be receiving it in my Pre-chemo cocktail and I wasn’t sure how I would feel on it. Yes it made me woozy immediately, but it was tolerable. Almost enjoyable in the correct setting. Waiting again, and was wheeled over by this super nice guy who eased the stress with good conversation. If you’ve ever done an MRI with contrast..it’s a fucking insane feeling. I laid down, the nurse flushed my IV and added the contrast. She loaded me in and waited a few minutes for it to kick in. I was in the machine for another few minutes and immediately when I was done I felt the warm rush. I’ve previously been warned it makes you feel really warm and almost like you’ve pee’d yourself. Thank god they reminded me because the warm sensation is explosive. It simultaneously felt like hot water was exploding from both my chest outward and my crotch 😂 indeed I clenched my body in case I did pee, but that’s exactly how it felt!!! So odd. Off to wait again for the results. This is where it for torturous. I am SO thankful for my AirPods and this charger. I have a very sensitive trigger to throwing up. Myself, other people, I can’t handle it. I actually did a good job this last week because both my girls got a virus, and I wasn’t second hand nauseous at all, that’s a victory. But in this ER literally 90% of the patients were vomiting 😑 I cranked those air pods to the max to drown out the sound. Closed my eyes. I don’t want what they got. So I’m in the big chair room again, my poor friend comes back in. Still in pain desperate for relief. Then another person, and another until the whole room was filled with us 5 people. 3/5 with vomiting 😕. Poor baby I prayed for got sick first, she was telling a nurse she was getting sick from the pain itself. Then the girl directly next to me. As she was getting her IV meds she started to get sick. It was a constant rush of nurses trying to get those sick bags in time..bless their quickness. I winced and turned to my left as to avoid being there. There wasn’t anywhere I could go where I wasn’t in the direct line of someone getting sick. I was miserable. Benadryl still kicking, I tried to nap, but had to keep my eyes open waiting for my name to be called. Eventually the time came, I was put in a draw chair outside the big chair room and my doctor read me the good news! I had my IV’s taken out and asked if they wanted me to go back into the big chair room (I don’t want to hog the draw chair in case someone needed it) and he said sure, just as I stood up the first poor girl started wrenching and I said “you know what I’ll stay here” and with a laugh the nurse walked back to their station and printed my discharge papers. I was R E L I E V E D. I was as calm in this situation as I needed to be, panicking and stressing weren’t going to help me. Easier said than done, to just not stress, but knowing how much trauma your body goes through WHEN you stress, it just wasn’t going to work in my favor. I came home famished, ate my dinner at 11:30pm, followed by a bag of popcorn, followed by a small serving of ice cream. Then my blood sugars sky rocketed all night 🙃 eh, not a good thing but I will hopefully have that very taken care of soon. Praise God nothing came out of this, each day has its own surprises, not all good, but also not all bad. The day started well with me sharing that my CT showed no cancer anywhere else in my body. This is EXTREMELY good news, and ended with me in the ER. You just never know how things will play out. So hug your kids, tell them you love them, do something fun. Enjoy the day given, because in a flash it could all be taken away ✌🏻

[elisaphoenix13]

Attack Of The...Fruit?

Stephen scrutinizes the apples in front of him while Valerie grabs the edge of the stand to peek at the abundance of fruit and vegetables while simultaneously sticking close to his leg. She was always easy to shop with since he didn't have to worry about her wandering off, and he loved seeing the curiosity fill her big blue eyes. Sometimes she helped pick out the produce, and other times she was content to just watch her mother do it himself. The rest of the kids, including Cassie, were wandering around the rest of the store to help grab what was on the list or to make a sad attempt at putting their choice junk food in the cart with their haul.

"...Mom?" William says softly from the other side of the stand.

"Hmm?" Stephen acknowledges as he grabs a couple of decent apples.

"Can we get more strawberries?" The teen asks carefully.

The fact that William was even asking for something made Stephen happy. It was a big step from what the twins were like when they first moved in, and Stephen and Tony had to take baby steps with them. They were a little forceful about things the twins needed, but things they wanted? They started taking Harley and Peter along on their shopping trips because those two always asked for at least one thing. The twins had seen that even if they were told no, it was said gently and Stephen sent them off to go put whatever it was back. It also helped that Peter had been in their shoes once upon a time. While he wasn't between foster homes or out on the streets, he still didn't like asking for things unless he needed them.

He even explained it to Thomas and William.

"Of course. Why don't you grab some whipped cream to go with it?" Stephen nods toward the back.

William lights up and walks off to retrieve a can of whipped cream after placing a container of strawberries into the basket. It was during this that Valerie gently tugged on Stephen's pant leg and pointed toward a shorter stand with mangoes piled on top of it. They must have been in season if they were on sale.

"Mama...fwuit?" The baby asks softly.

"Do you want to try one?" He asks and smiles when she nods. "Alright. Go ahead and grab one."

Valerie looks between him and the stand uncertainly and when he makes no movement, she walks the few feet over to the stand. She was always nervous to leave his side, but she was slowly starting to detach from it willingly. It always made Stephen want to gather her up in his arms and firmly reattach her to him, in the metaphorical (and somewhat literal) sense. She was his baby and he wasn't sure if he was ready for her to grow up yet.

He watches as his youngest daughter looks at the pile of mangoes with a calculating gaze, and then reaches up to grab one. She was very smart for her age and knew what fruit she could grab without sending the rest tumbling to the ground, and did just that before walking back to Stephen to hold it up to him. The sorcerer takes it with a smile and puts it in the cart, chuckling when she gently grips onto Athena's fur.

The wolf was so well behaved in public settings like this, that they were able to get away with making her a service animal. Tony had her licensed and even got her a vest for outings like this. And her being a service animal wasn't a total lie either. She helped with Valerie. If she were to ever get seperated from the family, Athena was to either find a safe place for her to wait for someone to find her, or she would follow a familiar scent to find a family or team member. It depended on the location and amount of people, and fortunately nothing had happened yet.

Athena was almost just as attached to Stephen as Valerie was. It made it easier for the baby to stay close when she wanted to walk since Stephen was a bit too tall for her to hold onto his belt loops.

"Good job." He praises and makes his way to the cereal aisle.

There was where William rejoined them with a can of whipped cream which he promptly put into the basket, and then Peter with his armful of list items. And of course the bag of Doritos he thought he cleverly hid. Stephen gave him a knowing look so that the teen was aware that he had noticed, but didn't say anything. Every once in a while he let the boys get away with a snack of their choosing. Today was one of those days.

A small gust of wind blows past the sorcerer and he huffs fondly. "Thomas, what have I told you about running indoors?"

"Sorry! But they have white cheddar Cheez-Its on sale!" The older twin says excitedly and Stephen rolls his eyes.

"As much as we appreciate that you're trying to save money, we don't notice when we save fifty cents. You can get those whether they're on sale or not." Stephen reminds him.

Thomas sighs. "I know. It's a habit."

"There's nothing wrong with that, but I don't want you to worry about money, okay?" Stephen assures the twins and Harley cackles as he joins them with Cassie and Diana.

"Yeah, Dad sneezes out money. Probably wipes--"

Stephen clears his throat, and while Harley didn't finish his sentence, he still grinned. He and the girls put their haul of groceries and chosen snacks in the cart, and after Stephen tells them all to choose a box of cereal, they take the cart up front and check out. Cassie was really only along to help and get herself some snacks since she had gone shopping with her parents earlier in the week. Once everything was bought, everyone grabbed some bags and walked outside where Stephen opened a portal in a secluded corner and they all went through.

Bags were placed on the counter and table, and Athena laid in her usual spot next to the counter after Peter helped take off her harness. While the kids put away the groceries, Valerie finds her mango and holds it up for Stephen. He takes it and washes it before asking Harley to cut it for her and places her in her highchair while they wait.

When there's a small jingling noise, the sorcerer looks down, expecting Tibbs to be at his feet waiting for treats...but he watched Flynn dash into the kitchen instead. He zooms around in his excitement, and then stops very briefly to show the black collar around his neck. Cassie makes a noise between a laugh and a sigh when the fox starts zooming around the floor again.

"Papa got him a collar this morning. Flynn's...very excited and proud about it." She explains as the celestial himself walks past the kitchen toward the living room with Scott.

"The little shit needed one. He goes everywhere with me when he can and one of these days he's going to get lost." Quill grumbles.

Flynn yips happily and runs after the god to climb up his leg and up to his shoulders, not even breaking Quill's stride to the living room. Stephen wasn't even surprised how well they were synced to each other, or in this case, how well Flynn was synced to Quill. The tiny bell on the collar with the fox's tags was probably for everyone's safety since Flynn was notorious for coming out of nowhere and tripping people up around Quill.

"Here you go, Val." Harley says as he places some pieces of mango on the tray in front of her.

"Tank you." She says softly before picking up a piece and eating it.

Stephen helped with the rest of the groceries and sent the other kids off with their snacks to do as they pleased. Only William sat at the table, which currently held the jigsaw puzzle he and the younger twin were slowly working on. It was supposed to be a picture of a Japanese garden when they finished but so far all they got finished was the border and the koi pond. It was a three thousand piece puzzle that would take them some time to complete since they hadn't sat down with it since the day they started it. They usually put a couple pieces together before moving on when they couldn't sit down, but it was their thing. A way to spend time together.

As Stephen puts together some cheese and crackers for Diana (as requested), he hears a whine of discomfort. He looks over at Valerie and William and finds the teen looking at the baby in shock and opening his mouth.

"Mom!" He finally says, and points to Valerie when he sees that Stephen is looking at him.

"What's wrong?" He asks in concern, rounding the counter to walk over and look at the baby.

William didn't need to answer. Stephen saw immediately what had worried the boy, and it sent a spike of panic through him very briefly. Valerie's face, neck, and arms were covered in red splotches that obviously itched if the baby scratching was indication. Stephen reaches out to pick her up, and looks at William as he points to the tray still holding a few pieces of mango.

"Wash and sanitize that thoroughly, please. Scott! Can you go get the Benadryl from the medicine cabinet?" Stephen calls out.

"Uh...sure." Was the thief's reply. He must have heard the urgency in the sorcerer's voice because it barely took him a minute to get the medicine to Stephen and see why it was needed. "Oh man. What was it?"

"Mangoes. She's never had them before." Stephen answers and takes the small cup once Scott measures out a small dose.

"She gonna be okay?" He asks.

"This seems to be her only reaction. She'll be uncomfortable for a little bit but she'll be fine."

Stephen helps Valerie drink the medicine, and she curls against him with a whine when she finishes. While Scott returns the medicine, the sorcerer gently rubs her back and hushes her gently in an attempt to soothe her. William had not only cleaned up the tray, but the rest of the chair as well, even if it was all overkill. As a distraction, Stephen sits at the table with her and works on the puzzle with William after asking Cassie to finish making Diana's snack, and it was about an hour later when Tony got home from half a day of meetings.

It didn't take him long to notice the baby's condition when he approached Stephen to give him a greeting kiss. "Povero topolina," he murmurs and kisses the top of her head.

"Mangoes." Stephen answers his husband's unanswered, forming question. "We'll have to monitor some of her food."

Tony nods. "Friday, add mangoes to the baby's allergy list please."

"Yes Boss."

They had lists for every kid in case of emergencies, sleepovers, for doctors, or however else they might need them. Mint was added to Peter's list when Tony came up with the idea, and now all they had to do was ask Friday to add to the lists when needed. She even scanned for the allergens when products were in full view. Sometimes things were overlooked. It definitely kept Peter from living in the bathroom a few times.

"She's falling asleep." Tony says quietly and Stephen nods as he places a piece of the puzzle correctly.

"I gave her Benadryl. It will help her sleep through the worst of it and treat the reaction."

"Want me to take her up to bed?"

"No. It's alright. Thank you." Stephen answers softly.

Tony nods. "Let me know if you change your mind."

Fortunately, Valerie was fine by the next afternoon after Stephen gave her a second dose before bed. The problem was that she didn't understand why she couldn't have the rest of her mango. She enjoyed it, but Stephen had told her no and it broke his heart to see her crestfallen expression when he explained that it made her sick. Valerie seemed to understand to an extent and was happy to eat some of William's strawberries as an alternative. She certainly enjoyed letting the boy spray a little bit of whipped cream in her mouth.

Strawberries and cream were something William only shared with Stephen and Valerie. And to the doctor's amusement, Harley. If Thomas, Peter, or Cassie tried to take some, William would grab the bowl and turn away with it with an impish smile.

"Berry!" Valerie demands, and Stephen watches as William turns away from the puzzle they were sitting down for again, and feeds the baby a small piece of strawberry.

Cassie had Diana, and now William had Valerie. Stephen wasn't complaining. At least not right now.

He might have an issue with it when it starts the separation process from Stephen.

[hoseokked]

allergy meds.....actually......stop your nose.........from running..........

[lawofmuzic]

Three ER visits. I was diagnosed with laryngitis and an upper respiratory tract infection, then asthmatic bronchitis, then asthma, and then strep throat, all in a matter of weeks. I've had multiple doses of steroids and antibiotics (not to mention the other prescriptions/treatments), dealt with lack of medical insurance, scraping up money for copays, etc. I'm not telling you this for PITY, I'm telling you this for PURPOSE! Not one allergic reaction, for me, that's a MIRACLE. When you're allergic to Benadryl, you tread carefully in all things medical 😂 Thank you all for the well wishes, the prayers, and the concern. My God is a keeper and a healer. Though I'm weak in my body right now, I'm strong in my spirit. I'm so grateful that I can TESTIFY 🙏🙏🙏 ✝ ✝ ✝ "There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!" Romans 5:3‭-‬5 MSG ✝ ✝ ✝ #Strength #Survival #Prayer #Faith #ER #Asthma #Strep #Misery #Sickness #Fear #Healing #Healer #God #Health #Grateful #Romans5and3 #PausefuneiSoekneiuaha https://www.instagram.com/p/ByjXGgNJwPA/?igshid=16eg4p8je40c9

[lightliveshere-blog]

no. 3

thankful for: my doctor’s appointment tomorrow and hopefully answers 

requests: a sign for mom’s sake, wisdom for the doctor’s tomorrow, a solid plan of attack for my heath problems

Father God,

I praise you that mom’s chemo went so well. As we walked up to the cancer center, I couldn’t help but look up at the name of the hospital, the word CANCER sending not fear but . . . I guess perhaps confusion into my soul. As we passed under it, it was like an omen. I don’t even know how to describe it except that I never thought I’d find my feet walking through a pair of doors marked with that terrible “C” word.

When mom was knocked out because of the Benadryl, I expected her to be so loopy at the end that we’d have to use a wheelchair to get her out of the doors and back to the car. But she was fine thirty minutes later.

I praise you for the time I finally got to spend with mom at chemo. I praise you that I get to live at home still even during college so I can be with her. I praise you for everything you’ve had me go through so that I    am more sympathetic. Because, truly, empathy can only get you so far . . . especially if said empathetic person is disgustingly proud.

Please humble me and always remind me that I can’t possibly know or understand everything going through someone’s mind. Please never let me lose my desire to understand where people come from, however, and that true semi-empathy I have (which is sometimes right, sometimes not).

I    bless your holy name and ask for good results for my own doctor’s appointment tomorrow.

I    love you,

Amanda

[travelling-trooper-blog]

We woke knowing that it was over the following morning. It was weird, though; it all felt like a crazy dream. Maybe not one of Kate’s Aronofsky-inspired dreams, but a crazy dream nonetheless. Did we really climb Kilimanjaro?

I was the last one to arrive at breakfast that morning. When I sat down, I was promptly asked if I wouldn’t mind speaking on behalf of the group at the final ceremony after breakfast. I’m not sure why I was chosen–personally, I thought Kate would have been the obvious choice, especially considering her experience at the summit. Regardless of the reason, though, I was honoured to speak for the group. I only asked that they all contribute anything that they felt was important for me to mention in my speech.

And while I was chosen as the group’s representative, Gene was chosen as the money guy. He had to calculate how much we each needed to contribute to pay the tips for the guides and the porters, and then he had to count the money. I was grateful this responsibility fell to the Science guy and not the guy who actually teaches Math for a living, because I hate being in charge of money. (Though I don’t want to think about what that says about their faith in my teaching abilities.)

Once the tips were calculated and the money was put in the correct envelopes, we all went outside to find the whole group of guides and porters there waiting for us. I was given the envelopes and started into my speech, praising them for their support every step of the way, and thanking each and every single one of them. I thanked them not only for taking care of us and helping us reach the summit, but for being kind, funny, and caring human beings.

Then there was more singing and dancing, like on Day 2. Damn, I’m gonna miss that Harmonica Man.

The landscape and the vegetation transformed back to the forest that we hiked through on the first day. While it was a beautiful, I didn’t bother taking photos because nothing else on this hike was going to compare to what we’d seen the previous day. Nothing was going to compare to that kind of high.

Joseph was the leader on the last day, and at one point, he stopped and pointed to the right over his shoulder. There was an opening in the tree leaves with a perfect window view of Kilimanjaro off in the distance. What impressed me about this was that Joseph didn’t even turn around when he pointed the view. He just knew it was there, probably because he has climbed the mountain so many times that he knows it like the back of his hand.

As I said before, my right knee started to hurt quite a bit on the last day. Brandon offered me some of his miracle cream, but while it seemed to help ease the pain momentarily, it was back in full force before we were finished the hike. Towards the end, I could no longer keep up with JM and the others who were at the front of the pack, and I started to slow down. I was concerned that perhaps I’d pulled something.

Nonetheless, we eventually made it to the bottom. We took one last group photo in front of the congratulatory sign and boarded the bus to head back to Bristol Hotel, where it all started.

Everybody was aching for a shower when we arrived–God knows how badly we all smelled after a week of living together–but August wanted us back downstairs in ten minutes for the handing out of our certificates.

Kate was kind enough to order us a round of beers, though the guides insisted they wanted warm beers for themselves. Joseph claimed you can taste the beer better that way.

Weirdos.

When I had first arrived in Tanzania, the guy who picked me up at the airport told me that “after you climb Kilimanjaro, you must drink a Kilimanjaro.” As in, a Kilimanjaro beer. I can objectively say that while Kilimanjaro is a tasty beer, it’s not a great beer. Despite that, though, it was certainly one of the best beers I’ve ever had in my life.

Cheers to you, JM, Nancy, Jim, Curt, Rich, Mary, Kate, Danielle, Sarah, Brandon, and Eugene.

Cheers to you, August 1, August 2, Maxi, Vincent, Jerome, and Joseph.

Cheers to you, Krispin, Spice, Luca, and the whole cast of porters.

And cheers to you, Kilimanjaro.

    Some tips and information for anybody reading this who might be considering climbing Kilimanjaro:

– If not for the lack of sleep and lack of oxygen as a result of the elevation, the hike is physically not that difficult for anybody in decent shape. Those two factors combined have a cumulative effect that wears you down by the end.

– Bring a bladder and a reusable water bottle.

– Make sure you’re comfortable living in close quarters with your travel buddy. Most people slept two to a tent, either with their partner, friend, or relative. I slept on my own, but with all the bags you’re carrying between the two of you, I imagine it gets pretty tight in there with two people.

– Make sure you’re not squeamish about getting dirty, not bathing, and having to take a squat outside from time to time.

– Hiking poles are a blessing.

– Rent a sleeping bag from the hiking company unless you know yours can handle -30 degree weather.

– Be prepared for messed up dreams.

– I can’t give an opinion on Diamoxin, since I didn’t take it. Some complained of tingly fingers, and everybody had to go to the washroom constantly. Ultimately I don’t know how effective it was for the others. I could have just been lucky. Apparently a person in another group had a lot of problems because they were the only one in their group who didn’t take Diamoxin. So what I’m trying to say is that I don’t know what to say.

– Bring sweets and snacks for the hike, and share with everybody.

– Bring a solar powered charger if your camera or phone are really important to you.

– Bring some Benadryl or some sort of sleeping aid.

– Bring cards for after the day’s hike. It’s a great way to bond with your group.

– Bring a book to read.

– GO WITH ULTIMATE KILIMANJARO!

  The Travelling Trooper Takes on Kilimanjaro: Day 8 We woke knowing that it was over the following morning. It was weird, though; it all felt like a crazy dream.

[chrissain]

Praise Report: My wife and I went on our normal 11 mile run this morning and all of a sudden she had an allergic reaction (similar to Will Smith on the movie Hitch but all over her body). My wife is my Rock. Unfortunately we were like 3 Miles away from the car. We sprinted those 3 Miles so fast I'm sure we qualified for the Olympics. Got to the car and I did a 100 through the city, went to Wal Greens Pharmacy bought all the Benadryl (extra strength). The box instructions said, take two pills, I had her take 3. Took a long hot shower, prayed and she been sleep ever since. Guess what...not a bump on her body. She is good now but more importantly God is Good💯

[kishispirit-blog]

My face is clearing!!! Praise God for black soap and Benadryl!