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#god people are just hhhhh
guppygiggles · 10 days
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hunsa-jars · 8 months
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Howdy peepers, I've been feeling pretty down lately but I think I'm on the right path to snap out of it!
See yall on monday hopefully
#to be honest recent political news got me anxious and just.. disheartened#not gonna lie rather depressed#but i guess that's a normal reaction#god it's just so awful#change of subject- i might be a bit burned out too because of all the stressing i subjected myself to this month#but worries be damned my grades ain't overall half bad#THO you just can't catch a break when it comes to college it seems#like we have to sign up for our classes on this website#based on your major obviously#and some people just don't pick the right classes hhhhh#and you see the waiting list for the class you need to sign up to is full because the goofs don't know what their course code is#which is weird like 😭 maybe there's a GOOD reason why your group mates' names aren't on the class list#because you didn't pick the right one aaaaaa#get outta here fella pleaaase#also on an unrelated note: it turns out i have a mild case of rosacea#it's not that suprising skin conditions run in the family#my mom's side of family at least#like my grandpa had rosacea. my mom has it too. my sister had acne (not anymore tho). my older brother too has something going on#i just thought i got lucky and inherited my dad's skin but guess not 💀#funniest thing is that almost everything makes rosacea act up#heat? cold? spicy food? stress? exercise? stress? alcohol? GODDAMN SUNLIGHT???#you name it#so yeahh not pleasant#if it won't get better mom will make an appointment with a dermatologist#uhh.. i guess that's all i wanted to say#for now at least#miss you guys hope all of you have been doing well :'>#random squeak
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talkorsomething · 3 months
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want to cut my hair again like you wouldn't believe. What are the possible consequences of going bald
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#actually i dont mean bald i just mean all one guard length#but hhhhh maybe i'm in an awkard stage maybe not i just CANNOT live like this#middle part is frustrating because it's not perfect in the way it sits side part is frustrating because i look like a girl#i feel like i could go all in with the 4 and then sorta texture a bit with the 2 guard HOWEVER having used the 4 previously. i know#how short that is. it might not look good so i worry#the bright side is it would grow out a bit by the time of the parade but augh i hate this#i'm currently a tightly wound ball of rage sorry. i didn't eat much of anything 2day#tried to call the hospital to get help with the letter/consulation thing preceding top surgery and they were NOT OPEN so idk if they will#be open tomorrow or not. the passage of time has gotten very vague all of a sudden#iiiiiii do not think i am doing well. lol. idk why though! god forbid any of it have a reason#i almost wish i'd relapse just so i could like. eat food again#idk i don't think it would solve it but i feel in my heart it might make things easier#buuuut because relapse is Bad For Me i guess i have to avoid it. well i want to anyways.#one bad day would not a reset make but my previous day happened this year already so...#i dunno it's been so long that i feel like it's not valid or whatever cause it was at an age where i can say it was a 'phase'#.............. i dunno what to do with that information. anyways.#i mean so what if i went all in on it again anyways? i kinda miss it lol. it's not like i could do any serious harm??#(potential infections aside.)#i just want to be creative and i CANT because my stupid brain will NOT think of anything#and the majority of what i have concretely written of this was written... get this .... right when i was trying to stay clean at first#correlation does not equal causation ........ sighs#i feel like i'm fighting a losing battle because i WANT IT to be that bad again#i've never really regretted it & it's never really been because of anything#i just started because i was curious about why someone would do that. that's all#i dont think i've EVER had any of the mental distress i see people in when theyre in these spaces#in one journal entry i made this big deal about wanting to kill myself but *i didn't want to*. i never did.#like sorry old me but it is REALLY hard to believe i've ever been depressed depressed#i just want things to be better and they never are :/ this should be everything i wanted and its just ... not#i'm not really sure how to ....... oh tag limit ok hold on
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lucyvaleheart · 4 months
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deityofhearts · 9 months
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y’all know how you follow really cool ppl and it’s like “wow you’re so cool I hope you never follow me/we don’t become mutuals because you’d find out i am entirely uncool and unhinged”
#deity dialogue#beaming ‘please don’t scroll through my blog I am very mentally ill on main’ at the cool butch person I follow who has been in my notes#because I’m p sure that one of my beloved mutuals who is already aware I’m a pathetic puddle of a person is mutuals with them#but yeah it’s like. if people I find cool follow me or check out my blog I live in utter fear of them going ‘oh they’re like actually sad a#goodbye forever’ ahdjfjtkt#idk how sad and weird it is to admit that every day I sit here and wonder if a beloved mutual is finally gonna go ‘okay I’ve had enough of#fae’ and unfollow me#this is also why I take a while to follow ppl back because I need to see if I’ve scared ppl off yet#I keep saying I plan to be less unwell on main#rn I’m getting back into tagging my sad posts (divine despair if you don’t know is the tag to block)#tbh I’m also just trying to make this year better but god I am so sad all the time the despair is like Bad#but today was good! so no super sad posts!!#hhhhh what am I even talking abouttttt#anyways shout out to my beloved friends and mutual ilyyy hiii if you read this far wow#actually does anyone read my tags because I talk so much like I’m incapable of shutting up (it’s terminal I fear)#<- the words of someone who is aware they talk so much and hates it and has had people try to silence them (my family also hates that I tal#a lot and use to bribe me into shutting up)#I must shut up now goodbye#see this is why cool people can’t follow me like
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lizalfosrise · 1 year
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Spinning twinblades so fast they become a makeshift helicopter rotor....
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you-will-return · 2 years
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#hhhhh personal#or not personal but just rants#so be warned#didn't wanna post it on main bc fuck people perceiving me#anywho#i'm so exhausted but I have to stay awake bc all my courses (THAT ARE STARTING NEXT WEEK!!!) are gonna be unlocked at midnight#and it just pisses me off so much that the fucking institute can't get it's shit together and maybe-#JUST MAYBE#unlock the courses MORE than a week before class starts#would that have been SO hard to do#okay listen idk how the inner politics work#it's my first semester at the faculty for history bc i was studying art history beforehand#but god i hope they don't do this for every semester#i'm just biding my time over here looking at all y'alls birthday posts for the twins#bc honestly my anxiety is on an all time high rn and I DO NOT WANT TO DO THIS#i'm so scared of fucking up my courses#also i have to go to a first semester introductory thing tomorrow and I do not want to 🙃#wearing my wans shirt to feel somewhat safe but I hate new social situations so muuuch#huh alive or only burning just came on... no comment#also i'm writing fanfic rn and i have to write a ~crazy night out~#y'know pretend i'm someone who actually leaves their house#and it's going horribly 👍🏻#but i like the story bc it's based on my favourite cobra starship album AND everyone has like one braincell max.#also recently i've started debating abt uploading my writing (again)#but none of the stories are finished#and i have this stupid rule abt only uploading finished stuff#which applies to like 4 out of 11 stories i've started in the past 3 years#two of those finished ones were 500 word horror short stories for a writing course#and the third of the four only had one 11k word chapter#sorry for rambling
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dredshirtroberts · 4 months
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i'm remembering why i don't stay on dating apps for long and why i have a hard time making connections with folks in general. if i have to teach one more fucking person about polite conversation with people you do not know yet, i swear to GOD.
#hhhhh i hate making generalizations but it does tend to be the cis men who don't know how talking to people like people goes#if you ask to see someone's art and they deign to share it with you don't immediately offer concrit unless it's specifically asked for?#like yes i'm concerned Iconic Character might not be recognizable despite my use of references for once#but i did not actually ask for your help on this because i don't know what your credentials are#and you barely recognized it as it is which is telling me you might not be the biggest fan of Iconic Character as you might think!#Fuck youuuuuuuuuu#i said yes to the offer because if they are reasonable changes i haven't already considered Part Of The Art i might consider them to improv#because i'm already going to be working on it again today so it's not really going to add any more to my plate than i might already have#but i don't even remember how many similar instances of fucking BONKERS things to say to a stranger i've been like#hey you know people don't talk to each other like this right? you know that's not how conversation is right?#please for the love of god tell me you don't talk to people IRL like this#cause i might start forming ideas about why tf you're on this app in the first place#like i know neurodivergence can be a hurdle and everyone's a little poorly socialized since lockdowns started in 2020#but... i KNOW these guys are not talking to their buddies like this#they think they can get away with it because i look like a woman#and if i gotta be the person who corrects them i will but boy howdy nothing gives me the ick faster than having to tell you that people#do not talk to other people like the way you're talking to me right now we do not know each other#do not presume you can just say Whatever at me and think i'm still gonna wanna try and get to know you to sleep with you like wtf#hhhh sorry. i'm like. probably not going to continue talking to this one but i did give him the opening to respond so i'll see what he has#to say and then move on with my life#it wouldn't probably be such a big deal if the vast majority of people i've attempted to talk to actually#yknow... talked to me.#but like it's fine. i'm fine. it's fine#like yes i would love to have someone i'm able to have sex with as well as friendship and general intimacy#i don't want to teach someone else how to be a person i barely understand it myself
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be-good-to-bugs · 6 months
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maybe i WILL get to move back home
#the bin#i talked to my mom and things might go ok but idk#i just have to wait and see but i desperately hope i can move. i need to see a doctor so bad. my whole body feels horrible all the time#and my tooth has gotten so much worse. i can deal with it if thres an end date. i cant deal with it indefinitely. and i cant afford to get#it fixed without insurance. i would rather die than deal with this shit for another however long i have to i CAN NOT do that#esp bc i would need to go to work while experiencing it. idk. im shaky literally ALL the time and my insides alwyas hurt and my joints#hurt so much too. and half the time im at work my chest hurts and i cant see straight. i cant fuckin do this anymorew.#apparently my dad might be getting a new job so their landlord might be more willing to renew but idk. she said she should know on april 1st#which isnt that far away but idk. i mean. its not impossible theyll renew. who knows. i hope so.#i know at keast thst i have a way to get there if there is a place for me to live so thats good. my health cant take this anymore. and im#also not able to emotionally. idk what other option i have but. god. its hard enough as is. im having like a perpetual panic attack since i#found out i probs wont get to move. im tryna be optimistic. i dont think im physically capable of staying here any longer#it was hard enough to stay herenthis extra yearm ive been having breakdowns repeatedly over it. and my physical health keeps worsening#i miss my little sister. i wanna be able to see the people i care about. theres so few people in the world i enjoy being around and i dont#get to see them ever. instead i have to see my second least favorite person in the world in order to even just get groceries#hhhh. i want the time to pass so i can know for sure but i also desperately dont wnat it to cause im so scared itll be bad news#whatever. i will hope and believe that itll work out until i know that it wont. hhhhh. worst case scenario i guess ill just have to save up#and figure out moving there later on but like. i was really happy to NOT have to worry abt rent or working so i could focus on my health and#then i could go back that that stuff. oh well
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thecustomcosplayed · 1 year
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people are so pretty. for why??
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dreamerlynx · 2 years
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🧍‍♂️
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skyjynxart · 2 years
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I wanna make it clear that I ship the ship I’m about to bitch about. The dynamic is really cute and I love both characters on their own. this is not me ship bashing I love them, your honour, but my GOD give me something else once in a while.
I ship a lot of ships in any given media I consume, generally. It’s just how I’m wired, I guess- and I ship mf and mm and ff ships pretty indiscriminately, base on what canon and fanfic give me to work with.
But I get really really disappointed when one ship dominates the ENTIRE FANDOM. I should be able to go into a fandom tag and scroll past 10 posts without over half of them being ship posts for that ship. I should be able to go into the tags of other characters not related to the ship at all and not see that over half the posts there are also for that ship and only feature the character whose tag I’m in as a side character. Like honestly if a character only shows up for 3 lines in your ship fic for 2 other characters just don’t tag them. nobody is going in their tag to read 3 lines in a fic that’s not about them.
Idk I love the ship I’m talking about, like I said, I just- want to see other stuff? I’m probs going to start tag blocking it just so I can actually see other stuff for the fandom. You’ll probably only see me making fanart for this ship if I’m paid to, cause I KNOW there’s other ships out there some of us are being utterly starved for content of.
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cometkov · 2 years
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you know, i really do love editing, but the moment there’s money involved i feel like my ability to read a sentence crumbles. makes me question if editing is a viable career option for me…
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My coworkers were openly talking abt me in this breakroom but unfortunately I am both autistic and have an auditory processing disorder so I couldnt fucking hear what they were saying or why they were talking about me in the first place aaaAAAAAAUUUGGH
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wp100 · 2 years
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i watch my old vids these days and i kinda miss editing. i haven't done it in months! but i just can't get back into it. maybe someday i will. but not today. hell i havent done digital art in so long either. just too tired to do anything :/
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tojisun · 2 months
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I just thought of an au.
I was watching old F1 clips and the 141 as race car drivers makes me insane.
Like ghost with his black helmet sprayed to have a skull on the front, he argues allot with other racers butting helmets with them (literally). Soap can be quite reckless, has blown his tires and gasket too many times to count. Price is an iconic older driver, knows his way around a track and can drive just about anything. Gaz is new on the scene, young, confident and full of competitiveness. Kinda like lightning McQueen lmaooo
idk enough of f1 to add my lil silly drabbles but i fuck w this so hard i started yelling !!!
okok but— (and bear w me)
ghost butting helmets with other racers but someone on tiktok overlayed a cunty music on top of the video so now them butting heads turned out to look homoerotic LMAOO
when soap does burn through his tires and everything, i just imagine him snapping his helmet off and throwing it on the ground in his frustration, before looking at his car forlornly and, if you get a good angle of his face, you’d see how he just looks so heartbroken oh the poor lad :( like full on pouting
BUT ALSO mmmxmndj him whipping his helmet off and people are blessed with the sight of his overgrown mohawk and his flushed cheeks and his angry furrow and pout— HHHHH
price def would be that man who starts trending because of a properly-timed post of a mini-montage of him dodging things on the tracks, showing off how quick his reflexes are and how topnotch his reaction time is. like he’s just so damn fluid in the tracks, it’s addicting to see him race
LIGHTNING MCGAZ OH I ADORE god yk im just imagining gaz being dismissed when he debuted because yk people expected a little bit of flunking and even minute crashes, or even exploding tires, etc. and he started off slow, trailing about third in the lineup, so people weren’t that awed. but no one hinged on the possibility that he has more to give and gaz ends up winning his first race (and multiple more after that) through diabolical overtakes. HHHHH i can see it so vividly im frothing
god i love this sm </333
@talooolaaloolla @iite-cool babes look!!
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