#god or fate etc has been kind to you by giving this luck and thus the powerful had been kind to you. they end up conflated

[skrunksthatwunk]

not gonna elaborate rn but fkmt gave me a gift personally in those little moments of gratitude kaiji shows for the minor favors of ppl who are putting him (or others) through deathgames. like that's power at work baby

[project-rebirth]

An Analysis of  the Supernatural in Toaru & Imagine Breaker’s True Nature

Greetings

This post will analyze the world of Toaru with a focus on Kamijou Touma. Thus, this post will contain spoilers up to the latest volumes of A Certain Magical Index, New Testament: A Certain Magical Index, and A Certain Scientific Railgun. If you have not read the source material, I recommend that you press the back button to avoid spoilers. Also, this analysis is 100% made of my delusions. *Analysis posts are delusions based off of the source material in the first place. Be aware that there may be some contradictions with the source material. If you are fine with that, please read to the end.

Kamijou Touma, One of the main characters of A Certain Magical Index and New Testament: A Certain Magical Index. Enrolled in the first year class 7 of a certain high school in Academy City's Seventh District, he is an Aquarius born between January 1st and February 18th. That kind of normal high schooler that can be found anywhere. He has short, spiky black hair (note, it is not natural, but styled that way)and has both an extreme case of bad luck that continues from his childhood and a popularity with girls that was passed down from his father.

He is a Level 0 boy that has in his right hand the Imagine Breaker that can, if it is a supernatural power, erase anything from a nuke-tier explosion to a military grade railgun or even miracle from God with just a touch, and with that an (unconscious) ability to sense the small effects a person has on their surroundings and predict their future attacks called Perception of Premonitions, *This is purely a natural skill and not a supernatural power. and Dragon Strike, the biggest ongoing mystery of the series.

As for why I made this analysis post, I wanted to try my hand at that famous theory that has existed since the dawn of the series. If you have ever viewed a Index analysis board or blog, you've probably seen it before.

The Kamijou Touma = Hadit Theory

There are things that can be found only because so many mysteries have been explained in the source material. (Railgun is also source material). There may be some that are hearing about the Kamijou Touma = Hadit Theory for the first time.

What is Hadit?

To explain simply, Hadit is the second principal deity of the cosmology of Thelema. (The series transcribes Thelema as Telema instead of the more standard Selema), Complement and consort of the highest deity Nuit, the god associated with the direction of South, The infinitely small point and the center of all existence.

Thelema: [Hadit: South, Right, Fire] [Nuit: North, Left, Wind] [Therion: East, Front, Earth] [Babalon: West, Back, Water] Archangels (Distorted) [Michael: South, Right, Fire (Water)] [Raphael: East, Left, Wind (Earth)] [Uriel: North, Front, Earth (Wind)] [Gabriel: West, Back, Water (Fire)] Hadit's symbol is the Pentagram and in ritual is placed to the south and to the right and is symbolic of fire.

And, on the cover of every novel, for Old Testament there is a Reverse Pentagram and for New Testament there is an Upright Pentagram. *However, OT 1 which has Kamijou Touma before he lost his memories and NT 1 which treated Kamijou Touma as if he had died do not have the symbol of Hadit, the Pentagram, on their covers.

The Book of the Law (Liber AL vel Legis)

Chapter 2 Section 6

I am the flame that burns in every heart of man, and in the core of every star. I am Life, and the giver of Life, yet therefore is theknowledge of me the knowledge of death.

Chapter 2 Section 7

I am the Magician and the Exorcist. I am the axle of the wheel, and the cube in the circle. "Come unto me" is a foolish word: for it is I that go.

Hadit is also known as the winged snake of light, the Kundalini serpent, and the fire snake. If you read Index, you've seen this phrase many times.

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law

This is a Thelemic concept and is the fundamental axiom underlying Thelema. Thelemic philosophy first appears in OT1. *SYSTEM, that which reaches the will of heaven without the body of a God, first appears in OT 3. In this post, we will assume Kamijou Touma to be Hadit as defined in Thelema and analyze Kamijou Touma and the world of Toaru using this as a base.

But before that, we will be devling deeply into concepts of Supernatural Power in the World of Toaru.

First is magic.

Magic is the technique of expending mana to apply the laws of other worlds (Phases) to the real world and cause supernatural phenomena. As for how, first, by methods such as breathing, meditation, exercise, and fasting, the user takes control of their own blood flow and the activity of their bodily functions to change their life force into mana. *If the lifeforce (Mana) of humans is to be likened to crude oil, mana is like gasoline. TL Note: 生命力 (Lifeforce) is to be read as Mana, while 魔力 is commonly translated as mana and I don't know a better word for it to disambiguate this.

Once you have gained mana, you can put it through your blood vessels and nerves or tools such as spiritual items and activate your magic by forming symbolic meaning through the motion of your body, chanting of words, writing of letters, usage of tools, etc. This world has a law of equivalent exchange, but magic is a convenient technique that deceives the world into giving 10 results for 1 expenditure. However, the world doesn't just let it go. When a magician uses magic, they interact with the "man-made" Phases placed on top of the world of pure physical laws. This interaction causes the many Phases to come into contact. As a result, Fate, called Sparks (or Spray), is created and makes all humans slaves to fortune.

The heads and tails of the flip of a coin, the order that dishes come out during a meal, the coming together and separation of people, and life and death. In other words, all of the misfortunate events in the world are caused by the Fate created by the collision of Phases. *Although this doesn't only create misfortunate Fate, there are those that die to Fate nonetheless.

This is the greatest flaw of magic.

Second is Esper Abilities.

Esper Abilities are the power to of those who observe their own Personal Reality to distort the world on the micro scale through laws that are different from those of a normal person and cause supernatural phenomena. Personal Reality is established by administering drugs, applying electric shock to the brain, using hypnotism, and many other methods to apply psychological damage or extreme stress to purposefully distance the student from standard reality according to Academy City's ability development program. The possibility of producing fire from one's hand, the possibility of knowing what someone else is thinking, the possibility of an object moving without touching it are all things that exist as a possibility. However, for a normal human, even if there is a slight possibility for such a supernatural event to happen, since they have a standard reality, they can only choose the possibility dictated by common sense.

Someone who has successfully observed their Personal Reality can choose the unlikely result regardless of probability. As a result, they can distort the micro world as they see fit. The changes introduced on the micro scale cause macro scale supernatural phenomena that would not normally occur. This is likened to the Butterfly Effect.

Magicians distort reality by applying the laws of other worlds that lie on top of the world of physical laws. Espers distort the micro scale world using the Personal Reality constructed within them. These powers have long been treated as two separate things,however, it is now known that these can be explained by a unified theory and that there should not be a clear division between the two.

Magic -> Distort reality through the laws of other worlds (Phases). Science -> Distort reality through laws that are different from normal people (Personal Reality). Both of these distort reality through laws that are not normal.

Personal Reality = Personal Phase Both Magic and Science distort reality through the laws of Phases. This is the source of supernatural power. *The 2 differences are the scale and location of the Phase and the point that Espers don't produce sparks. See Shadow Metal. Also, given that Personal Reality is the power of belief, it can be understood that at the base these powers are the same.

Magic distorts reality though "external" Phases that exist on top of the world of physical laws. Esper Abilities distort reality though an "internal" Phase that exists within of the world of physical laws.

However, we'll leave powers that have not been elaborated in the source material such as Ollerus and Sogiita Gunha's unexplainable power, Kamijou Touma's Dragon Strike, Accelerator's white wings, Phase5.3 Misaka Mikoto's mysterious black ball, etc. aside for now. Therefore, Kamijou Touma's Imagine Breaker is a power that disables (erases) these Supernatural Powers and supernatural phenomena created by these Supernatural Powers. The area of effect is from the right wrist down and erases supernatural powers by direct contact. Another way of putting it is that it can't erase anything it doesn't come into contact with. *However, things like Divine Punishment, Recovery Magic, Teleportation, and Mind Control (depends on angle) that target Kamijou Touma as a whole do not need to be in direct contact to have their activation cancelled or erased.

However, Kamijou Touma's Imagine Breaker doesn't fit into either of the Magic or Esper Ability categories. Not Magic, not an Esper Ability, not a Gemstone.

Then what is Kamijou Touma's Imagine Breaker?

Chapter 1: The Power of Wishes

Kamijou Touma's right hand has already been explained in the source material. Imagine Breaker is the aggregation of the fear and wishes of all magicians (Magic Gods). *The phrases Aggregation of Dreams, Aggregation of Desires appear. Not Magic, not a Esper Ability, not a Gemstone. Though it was a mystery in OT, the answer was revealed pretty early in NT. *However, at that point it was only the opinion of the Magic Side (Ollerus). Afterwards, it became more credible with Aleister's explanation of the Power of Wishes at the end of the movie, The Miracle of Endymion, and was finally confirmed by the appearance of World Rejector.

Then, what kind of power is an Aggregation of Wishes? How is it different from a Supernatural Power?

An Aggregation of Wishes is different from Supernatural Powers that distort reality through the laws of Phases in that it is given form by the wishes of people. According to Aleister, "Multiple wishes being given a singular direction can become a power that can alter causality."

Kamijou Touma is not the only one who has the Power of Wishes. At the moment, there are about 5 things that have appeared in the series that can be called an Aggregation of Wishes.

Kamijou Touma's Imagine Breaker

The Treasure of Blythe Road, the Previous Imagine Breaker

The last boss of OT, Fiamma of the Right's Holy Right

The heroine of the movie, Meigo Arisa (Shutaura Sequenzia)'s Miracle

Imagine Breaker's counterpart, Kamisato Kakeru's World Rejector

Given that Fiamma's Holy Right is a similar power to Imagine Breaker, it can be speculated to be the aggregation of the wishes of the Roman Catholic Church's 2 billion or all of Christianity's believers. The Holy Right has the property of automatically adjusting its output to the optimal amount according to the level of the enemy to be defeated or trial to be overcome.

Speed. Durability. Intelligence. Strength. Range. Numbers. Weapons. When a wave of the right hand guarantees victory, such things become unnecessary.

In other words, it is an almighty right hand worthy of "The Likeness of God" Michael.

However, it couldn't decide how much power to output against Kamijou's right hand. Whether it was because it is inherently the same type of power or because Kamijou's right hand contained so much more power, the reason is unclear. Meigo Arisa's Miracle (and her own existence) was born when during the Orion Incident, the passenger's wishes were given direction by Shutaura's song that has been imbued with magic-like power and the magic placed on the Orion spaceplane by Ladylee. Her Miracle always incurs some cost and this cost becomes greater along with the Miracle. For the cost of her ability to recognize music (splitting one girl into two) and the life of her father, the Miracle of 87 passengers of the Orion surviving occurs. Miracle level: Strong

For the cost of her consciousness for a few hours, the Miracle of the debris falling towards Kamijou Touma's head splitting in half occurs. Miracle level: Weak

For the cost of an injury to Kamijou Touma's head, the Miracle of 0 injuries in the crumbling stage occurs. Miracle level: Medium

For the cost of Meigo Arisa and Shutaura Sequenzia becoming one again and going into a state where she can no longer be recognized (not even by Aleister or Lola), the Miracle of avoiding the collapse of Endymion occurs. Miracle level: Strongest

It can be speculated that Meigo Arisa's Miracle works by (unconsciously?) controlling the Fate that would have struck and making it hit someone else.

This cost probably exists because unlike Imagine Breaker, it cannot erase Fate. Kamisato Kakeru's World Rejector is the wishes of the Magic Gods (except Othinus) that spilled out of Kamijou Touma's Imagine Breaker and were drawn to the shining soul of Kamisato Kakeru. *The point that it was drawn to the soul and housed itself in the right hand is the same as Imagine Breaker. With the phrase, "Do you wish for a new world?" as a trigger, it forcibly erases anyone who has conflicting desires, even a god, from the current world and exiles them to another place called the New World. According to Kamisato, "This new world is extra space within this timeline." Even accounting for the Phases and such, only 10-20% of the world is being used. Nobody will realize if 2-3% of the remaining 80% were used to create a new world. This world made of the extra space that nobody will realize is the New World. *Be aware that this explanation is most likely wrong. This touches upon the theory of time within the world of Toaru, so I would recommend understanding the comparison to frames of film.

Unlike the Imagine Breaker, it is activated by the shadow cast by the right hand and has no need to come into contact. Also, it doesn't only target people, but things created by a person that has a conflict of desires as well. *It erased the Phase Nephthys tried to implant. It is also known that when Imagine Breaker and World Rejector come into conflict, World Rejector works on Imagine Breaker, but Imagine Breaker doesn't work on World Rejector. If Imagine Breaker is said to be the Reference Point of the World or the Restore Point of the World, couldn't World Rejector be called the Singularity of the World or the End Point of the World? *Kihara Yuiitsu called it the Edge of the World.

The Previous Imagine Breaker, the Treasure of Blythe Road. The head is made of bone, the feathers of leather, and the shaft of grave wax. It was the ultimate exorcism item created from the right hand of a saint. Given that it's effect is almost the same as Kamijou Touma's Imagine Breaker, we can speculate it to be, "the aggregation of the fears and wishes of all magicians."

We know that Kamijou Touma's Imagine Breaker is an Aggregation of Wishes or a Power of Wishes, so how does this relate to the second principal deity of Thelema, Hadit?

Imagine Breaker is theorized to represent Hadit's Exorcist side.

Hadit has two sides. The Magician and the Exorcist.

In The Book of the Law (Liber AL vel Legis) Chapter 2 Section 7 as well as Liber HAD, Hadit is called "the Magician or maker of Illusion, and the Exorcist or destroyer of Illusion", That Kamijou Touma is the destroyer of Illusion probably doesn't need any explanation at this point. However, this is an analysis. To assume correctness and stop thinking just because it feels right is no analysis. Therefore, I will present a number of pieces of evidence that point to Kamijou Touma having the Exorcist side.

Evidence #1 The original usage of the Previous Imagine Breaker.

As explained earlier, the Previous Imagine Breaker, the Treasure of Blythe Road was the ultimate exorcism spiritual item created from the right hand of a saint. Exorcism is the practice of expelling evil spirits and demons. *Was done by the Imperial Palace yearly, but nowadays refers to throwing beans on Setsubun in Japan. According to Mina Mathers, "Imagine Breaker. The ultimate exorcism spiritual item created from the right hand of a saint. The most secret weapon prepared to send back beyond the magic circle those that would not retreat when a summoning went wrong."

Given that the Previous Imagine Breaker and the Current Imagine Breaker have the same type of traits, it is clear that they can be used the same way. Begone Evil Spirit Given that the Previous Imagine Breaker and the Current Imagine Breaker have the same type of traits, it is clear that they can be used the same way.

At the end of OT22, in the Arctic, Kamijou Touma sends back the Archangel Misha Kreutzev. Begone Evil Spirit *Not an evil spirit. At the end of OT22, in the Arctic, Kamijou Touma sends back the Archangel Misha Kreutzev. After crashing the Star of Bethlehem, though not depicted in text, since it can be seen in the illustration that Kamijou Touma has his right hand pulled back, we can imagine that Imagine Breaker was used to send the Archangel back to the correct Phase.

Evidence #2 Kamijou Touma has been referred to as the Exorcist.

The title of Chapter 4 of OT1 is The Exorcist Chooses the End (N)Ever_Say_Good_bye.

Kamijou Touma has been referred to as the Exorcist from the very beginning. The reason he was referred to as the Exorcist is probably because in destroying Index's collar, he saved her from the hands of a demon. The one who put the collar on Index is the Archbishop of the Church of England, Lola Stuart. That's right, the brain-dead-raw-garbage-spit-jar-bastard, the Great Demon Coronzon. At that moment, Kamijou Touma destroyed, although incompletely, the collar placed upon Index by the Great Demon Coronzon.

In other words, he saved Index by freeing her from the Great Demon's control. Couldn't this be why Kamijou Touma was referred to as the Exorcist?

It can also be taken that Kamijou was referenced to as the Exorcist simply because he is Hadit. *Though it's just a guess as I haven't seen the inside of the writer's head, since there is reference to Aleister, Golden, and Thelema (Thelemic Philosophy) in OT1, it can be speculated that the stuff about the Great Demon Coronzon and such already existed in the author's head. (Since these things to hand in hand with speaking about Aleister, it's a natural conclusion) Therefore, I think it has both meanings.

Evidence #3 Kamijou Touma's Catchphrase.

As you know, Kamijou Touma's catchphrase is "I'll kill that illusion" *As a variant of the above, "I'll destroy that illusion" There are also a number of other offshoots. Why is this Kamijou Touma's catchphrase? That is because the Kanji for Imagine Breaker is written as Illusion Killer. But this brings the question of why Imagine Breaker is written as Illusion Killer in the first place, Though this may be getting repetitive, in Liber HAD Hadit's Exorcist side is written of as, "the Exorcist or destroyer of Illusion." I speculated that the reason Imagine Breaker is written as Illusion Killer and the reason for Kamijou Touma's catchphrase is this quote. If so, this becomes evidence that Kamijou Touma's Imagine Breaker is Hadit's Exorcist side.

As a side note, in Liber HAD, Hadit is referred to as, "the Unity which is the Negative." In NT14, Othinus claims Kamijou Touma's greatest power is his power to connect (NT14p37) and in NT15 Kihara Yuiitsu calls Kamijou Touma's Imagine Breaker a denying power. In other words, what I want to say is as such.

*There are other interpretations that can be made about "the Unity which is the Negative." As Kamijou Touma is the Negative, he used his denying power representative of this and with his right fist saved those who should have been cut away starting with Accelerator and continuing to Magic God Othinus and Academy City Chairman of the Board of Directors Aleister Crowley and unified them. *This is only my personal interpretation.

Place the side note to the side, I think these three pieces of evidence make the probability that Kamijou Touma contains Hadit's Exorcist side quite high. *Keep in mind, the right hand is only a bonus to he who purifies god and conquers demons. However, This alone is not enough to say Kamijou Touma is Hadit. For Kamijou Touma to be Hadit, there are more questions that need to be answered. From here on, I will answer unresolved mysteries one by one and see how they affect the Kamijou Touma = Hadit Theory.

Chapter 2: The Mystery of World Rejector and the Contradiction of the Current Imagine Breaker

To continue with the Kamijou Touma = Hadit Theory, we must first dig into World Rejector. Why? There is a theory that Kamisato Kakeru's World Rejector is Hadit's Magician side, however, in analyzing World Rejector, I began thinking this is a red herring. But before I get into why I came to that conclusion, let's solve the mystery of World Rejector.

Mystery The mismatch between the reason for and time of World Rejector's birth.

As you know, World Rejector is said to have been born due to Kamijou Touma becoming Othinus' sole understander and having diverged from the path of salvation of all of the Magic Gods. And it was the beginning of November that World Rejector entered Kamisato Kakeru's right hand. But doesn't that seem off? The start of November was right after the end of World War III and Kamijou Touma hadn't even met Othinus or any other Magic God at that point. *Kamijou Touma returned to Academy City on November 5th. He went to Hawaii on the 10th. For World Rejector to have been born from Kamijou Touma becoming unable to hold the wishes of the Magic Gods (by becoming the understander of Othinus), it would have to be at least after NT9 and 10. If you want to say that Fate was determined the moment Othinus and Gremlin decided to act, the issue goes away, but even still it doesn't seem right.

I thought about it, and ame to the conclusion that, the true reason for the birth of World Rejector is something else. In the first place, it was only Nephthys' speculation. There is no doubt that World Rejector is an Aggregation of Wishes of the Magic Gods due to it's output and the fact that the Magic Gods are 99.9% of what makes up the Magic Side. (That it is a counterpart to Imagine Breaker is another piece of evidence) It's probably correct to say that it spilled out of Kamijou Touma's Imagine Breaker. *I'll explain later. However, the idea that it was created because Kamijou Touma diverted from the path of saving all Magic Gods is wrong.

Then what is the reason?

Or better put, who is the reason? I think three people were involved in the birth of World Rejector.

First, Othinus. Let me make it clear at the start that it wasn't Othinus' wishes that shaped World Rejector. Othinus was simply one of the people that created the cause for World Rejector to be born. While the other two are only speculation, I'm almost certain about Othinus. Why? Because it's clearly shown in the novel. I was also able to pinpoint the time World Rejector entered Kamisato's right hand.  November 13th, Saying this much, I'm sure many readers can realize what Othinus did to have a hand in its creation. In her first appearance at the end of NT4, just after crushing Kamijou Touma's right hand in Baggage City. Until now, I had thought the one that had taken damage was Dragon Strike. *Accordingly, I thought Dragon Strike had changed in NT14(15). However, the one that was damaged at this point was Imagine Breaker.

How can I say it entered Kamisato Kakeru immediately afterwards? The evidence is in the Chapter title.

Severe Damage RU9NI1bKAKErSA991MA

First part aside, the second part of this Chapter title was a mystery for a long time after the release of NT4. However, with the appearance of Kamisato Kakeru in NT13, it was made clear. It's not the angel language, but it's the same type of thing. Start by getting rid of the alphanumerics. Doing so makes this Severe Damage, RUNIKAKESAMA and if we move the RU and NI...it becomes Severe Damage, KAKERUSAMANI.

Kakeru-sama ni (To Kakeru-sama)

This creates two problems.

First, November 13th is a little late to be called the start of November, clearly being in the middle of November. I'll put this to the side for now.

The second is that Kamijou Touma's right arm was damaged just two weeks ago, at the end of World War III. So why did it happen in Baggage City and not at the end of World War III? There's only one answer here; World Rejector did not appear naturally but was made to appear purposefully by someone. But who? The answer is pretty clear. It has to be the one person who knew of the World Rejector Kamisato Kakeru's existence.

Second, Archbishop of the Church of England, Lola Stuart, The one who created the World Rejector that did not exist up to this point was the shit-mound-barf-bag-toilet-brush Great Demon Coronzon. Some may think, "Can she really do that?" It may sound like it came out of nowhere, but the means by which a Power of Wishes is born is already in her head. At the end of the movie, The Miracle of Endymion, Aleister explained to her, "Multiple wishes being given a singular direction can become a power that can alter causality." At the end of World War III, Coronzon was able to confirm that Aleister was still alive.

Perhaps Coronzon wanted a power to combat Kamijou Touma's Imagine Breaker (which is under Aleister's control) in order to kill or draw out Aleister? *This plan did succeed. To do this, she found some means to move the Magic God's Wishes away from Kamijou Touma's Imagine Breaker and as a result, the Magic God's Wishes spilled from Kamijou Touma's Imagine Breaker and gave birth to Kamisato Kakeru's World Rejector.

*She wasn't trying to have it go to Kamisato specifically, but induced the Power of Wishes to go somewhere else. But there's another way to think about this. Even if Coronzon didn't choose Kamisato, she could have been aware that the Magic God's Wishes that spilled from Kamijou Touma's Imagine Breaker would go to Kamisato Kakeru. Like how Aleister predicted the Imagine Breaker would end up in Kamijou Touma's right hand. If so, we can explain why Kamisato Kakeru began to sense something was off at the beginning of November. This as well is the same as how Aleister Crowley prepared Academy City for Kamijou Touma.

"Imagine Breaker cannot even be recognized if those with Supernatural Power do not gather around it. Kamijou Touma cannot show his tendency to fight if those seeking help are not within reach. ...and yet you were able to stand out more than anyone. Why? It's obvious. The stage set up in Western Tokyo was an Esper development institution set up to maximize the accomplishments of the Kamijou Touma that would one day appear."

The cause for the odd feeling Kamisato had was the stage Coronzon had prepared so that he would recognize the World Rejector in his right hand when he gained the power. *She caused an incident (that could lead Kamisato to recognize his power) or something like that. After all, Kamisato Kakeru has the shitty trait of saving anything in the shape of a girl. With this, I think most of the mysteries surrounding World Rejector's birth have been solved. But there's still one left. NT14 Chapter 3 Page 220 Kihara Noukan's line to Aleister.

"It's quite the outlier if it doesn't get caught in your surveillance net. Since it isn't something a cyber attack could do, it must be pure stealth or some oddity that forcibly wipes out and denies everything that originated from you. Though I can't even imagine the theory behind it."

Third, Aleister Crowley.

Since 99.9% of the Magic Side is emcompassed by the Magic Gods, there's no mistake that World Rejector is the Aggregation of Wishes of the Magic Gods and what spilled out of Imagine Breaker.

Though Aleister Crowley may be a magician even capable of killing a Magic God, he is human.

To be honest, I don't know for sure if Aleister is part of the reason for World Rejector's birth or, if he is, how much of an effect he had. *Even if he did, like Othinus, it was not his intention. I think the probability is low, but it's high enough that I can't just ignore it. *Which is why it's in this post.

The reason is as such.

Though Aleister is categorized into the 0.1% of non-Magic God magicians, a large portion of that 0.1% is taken up by the magician Aleister Crowley. 1 billion, 83 million, 90 thousand, and 287 possibilities. If Aleister has an effect on World Rejector, it is probably the World Rejector's activation trigger being the conflict of desires. *It could be that it works like this because Aleister's desires are mixed into World Rejector. After all, I think the one who is most susceptible to the conflict of desires is not any of the Magic Gods, but Aleister Crowley. We know World Rejector works on Aleister since at the end of NT14 when Kamisato Kakeru fought Kihara Noukan he erased A.A.A, which was created by Aleister.

Even though Aleister left his life preservation machine, he didn't directly face Kamisato, but sacrificed Kihara Noukan to create a confrontation with Kihara Yuiitsu and dealt with Kamisato by having her steal World Rejector. If one were to take the viewpoint of a skeptic, this could be taken as Aleister avoiding Kamisato.

To put these three things on a timeline:

October 31st, end of World War III Coronzon confirms Aleister is still alive.

Coronzon begins testing methods to create a Power of Wishes to kill Aleister.

Coronzon begins tampering with Kamisato Kakeru's surroundings. *Causes some event to tie the girls to Kamisato.

Kamisato Kakeru realizes something is off around the beginning of November.

November 13th, Kamijou Touma's right hand is damaged.

Part of the Magic God's Wishes spill and Coronzon interferes with these spilled Wishes. The spilled Magic God's Wishes are given new direction and as a result come together in Kamisato's right hand. Kamisato Kakeru's situation becomes even worse. December 1st, Kamisato Kakeru recognizes World Rejector as a power he now holds and travels to Academy City for vengeance against the Magic Gods.

That resolves the mysteries of World Rejector.

As for why we had to resolve these mysteries... I wanted to make certain that World Rejector was born of the Magic Gods' Wishes that spilled from Imagine Breaker. Why did it have to be made certain? By making this clear, I can refute the theory that World Rejector is Hadit's Magician side. As for what this means, let's say Kamijou Touma is Hadit. Hadit has two sides, the Magician and the Exorcist. Kamijou Touma is Hadit, so he has both sides, the Magician and the Exorcist.

Imagine Breaker is Hadit's Exorcist side and World Rejector was born from the Wishes of the Magic Gods that spilled out from Kamijou Touma's Imagine Breaker, his Exorcist side. Did you catch that?

If Kamisato's World Rejector were to be one of Hadit's sides, that would not be the Magician, but the Exorcist.There's probably some people who would ask, "Then what if for some reason Kamijou Touma did not have the Magician side in the first place? What if he couldn't for some reason?"

Kamijou Touma does say World Rejector isn't a fit for him.

However, if we were to say, "World Rejector is Hadit's Magician side and Kamijou Touma only ever had Hadit's Exorcist side," we have a contradiction. In this case, Kamisato Kakeru would have needed to have had World Rejector from the beginning. There are many other things that refute this.

Refuting Evidence #1 World Rejector is an affirming power. In NT15, Kihara Yuiitsu calls Kamisato Kakeru's World Rejector, "An affirming power, but it works more like a data wiping software."

Hadit is the Negative. Kamijou Touma and Kamisato Kakeru. If you look at how they save others you can see that Kamijou saves by denying their illusions while Kamisato saves by affirming their ideals. If Kamijou Touma is the Negative, wouldn't Kamisato Kakeru be the Positive? Refuting Evidence #2 World Rejector works like a data wipe software. This connects to #1, but Kihara Yuiitsu says World Rejector, "works more like a data wiping software."Overall, I think this is another piece of proof that World Rejector originated from Imagine Breaker.

In other words, since World Rejector is the same type of power as Imagine Breaker, when fitting them to Hadit, it doesn't fit to the Magician side, but the Exorcist or destroyer of Illusion.

Refuting Evidence #3 World Rejector isn't making Illusion. If we take Imagine Breaker to be Hadit's Exorcist side, we can define Illusion = Supernatural Power (or Supernatural Phenomena caused by Supernatural Power) With this definition, let's take another look at Liber HAD. The Magician or maker of Illusion, and the Exorcist or destroyer of Illusion, World Rejector is a Power of Wishes and is not a Supernatural Power. It can't be said to be making Illusion. Even if we take the Magician and the Exorcist to be referring to different things with the word Illusion, World Rejector is a power that affirms ideals, not a power that makes illusion. After all, it's the person Kamisato's pointing his right hand towards that decides what to desire, not him.

Refuting Evidence #4 Vengeance

One trait of Kamisato Kakeru is that he wants vengeance, However, Hadit has no such trait. If you were to look in Thelema for the trait of Vengeance, it would not be Hadit, but Ra-Hoor-Khuit.

The Book of the Law (Liber AL vel Legis)

Chapter 3 Section 3

Now let it be first understood that I am a god of War and of Vengeance. I shall deal hardly with them.

Explanation Ra-Hoor-Khuit is the third deity of Thelema's cosmology. The child (twins) born of Hadit and Nuit, also known as Ra-Herakhty or Horus. *One side of the composite deity Horus.

Back to the main topic.

Due to the preceding evidence, I think Kamisato Kakeru's World Rejector is not Hadit's Magician side. Then, where is Hadit's Magician side? The perceptive viewers probably realized upon seeing the chapter title, but the hint to Hadit's Magician side was in the contradiction of the Current Imagine Breaker. That is, Kamijou Touma's misfortune.

As you know, the greatest magic cabal, the Golden, owned the Previous Imagine Breaker, the Treasure of Blythe Road. The Treasure of Blythe Road was used to protect the members of the Golden from the Fate born the collision between phases until it was destroyed on April 13th 1900 when Aleister Crowley instigated the Battle of Blythe Road. The owner of the Imagine Breaker should not be a Slave to Fortune. And yet, Kamijou Touma is Misfortunate. Though some of it can be explained as clumsiness or carelessness, when looking at his childhood, there are many events that can't be brushed off like that. This would mean that, "Kamijou Touma is not erasing all of the Fate that comes towards him."

According to Index he has bad luck due to erasing the grace of God, but Imagine Breaker erases Fate, both good and bad, so he shouldn't be misfortunate. Additionally, in NT15 Kamijou Touma begins to question whether his bad luck is really caused by Imagine Breaker. Though that train of thought gets cut off by the High Priest flattening a certain high school. But why is Kamijou Touma's Imagine Breaker in such a half working state? Imagine breaker has a processing limit. A limit to the variety, number, and amount of Supernatural Powers it can process in a unit of time. An overwhelming amount Supernatural Power.

Supernatural Power that is sent out repeatedly, whether continuous or not. Supernatural Power that is both of these things. Normally, Imagine Breaker erases Supernatural Power Instantaneously but these things take time to erase and either get stopped in place or, in some cases, reach Kamijou Touma. That's right. When Imagine Breaker reaches its processing limit, the Supernatural Power reaches Kamijou Touma. I came up with a hypothesis. What if Kamijou Touma's Imagine Breaker were constantly erasing some Supernatural Power and had some of its resources constantly used for that? Let's say Imagine Breaker has a processing limit of 100. Then if 100 Fate comes his way, Imagine Breaker should be able to erase all 100 Fate instantaneously.

However, if 50 was always being used for something else, even though 50 Fate would be erased instantaneously, due to the processing limit, 50 Fate would not be erased and would stay where it is. Of the remaining 50 Fate, wouldn't it make sense that some of it would reach Kamijou Touma? In other words, since Kamijou Touma's Imagine Breaker is constantly spending its resources erasing some Supernatural thing, it is unable to completely erase Fate as it should, leaving him misfortunate. I think this is the reason for Kamijou Touma's misfortune and the cause of the contradiction of the Current Imagine Breaker.

Then, what could be eating up the resources of Kamijou Touma's Imagine Breaker?

Dragon Strike.

The existence of Dragon Strike that becomes clear with the contradiction of the current Imagine Breaker. The truths that become clear by analyzing NT. The theory that comes into view with the conclusion of the Kamijou Touma = Hadit Theory?

When science and magic cross paths, an analysis begins.

[desertbroad]

kaj + (inverted) tropes: part two! * * i don’t know all the actual Official TM names for these tropes, so most are made up. also, you might notice the regular trope list (part 1 of this headcanon) is significantly longer. this is because kaj has a few main inverted tropes but tons more regular ones, since tropes are like atoms: they make up everything. i just wanted to focus on the few inversions that created her character and let the rest come naturally! under a read more for length. ** also as of 7/6/19 part one isn’t done yet. yes i know please don’t shame me ok IM GETTING TO IT

fridged woman (aka back from the dead)—

for this one i took inspiration from laura moon from american gods, with a few tweaks (love neil gaiman, but some of the things about her character are...a bit squicky). unlike a good number of women in media, kaj isn’t shoved over gently and pronounced dead so that a man can grow from her pain. in fact, she’s shot in the head twice, pronounced dead, & buried. while her “death” means more pain and character development for the characters surrounding her, it means pain and character development for her, too. truth be told, she survives a hell of a lot more than any average person should, especially one with her low luck stat. half of this is the fun and wacky way new vegas’ world works (obviously, no real person could survive all this), but also because of her good ol’ courier determination. things that should’ve fridged kaj but haven’t include: two shots to the head, numerous combat scrapes, being stabbed, having her brain/heart/spine removed, having a bomb collar attached to her neck, killing an entire fortification of trained legionnaires, stepping on landmines, etc etc. the courier is pretty much the bruce willis of fallout.

world ending vengeance—

specifically applies to certain characters. while most others who piss kaj off get the full brunt of her wrath (see: caesar, mr. house, elijah, general oliver, ulysses), benny, along with dr. mobius & the think tank & mcnamara*, get a pass. in fact, she lets him go not once or twice, but on three separate occasions, even knowing he’s likely to betray her again. the reason why? not even kaj knows. some people speculate it’s because she likes him / slept with him (incorrect; she liked house to a degree, and slept with caesar); others speculate it’s because they’re so similar (also incorrect; she shared an alarming number of similarities with ulysses & elijah). the theory that comes closest to the truth is that she pities him. it fits in line her past behavior with mobius & the think tank, who were physically unable to see the effects of their actions and thus were spared a horrible fate. likewise, kaj seems to have judged benny to be innocent in her own personal court, and though he continues to be a thorn in her side again and again, she refuses to “sentence” him for anything. it helps his cause that his plan helped her take over vegas, and he created yes man, one of the only living beings she’s ever fully trusted. also a slight inversion of kaj’s maneater / black widow trope; the one person she truly should seduce and kill, she doesn’t.

that said, benny doesn’t get away from their encounters without any punishment—after narrowly escaping being crucified, both kaj and benny have matching rope burns around their wrists. it’s her morbid idea of a joke.

*mcnamara doesn’t fit within this trope, but kaj spares the bos for veronica & christine’s sake, despite yes man’s warnings. also for the off chance that they might convert to being her allies (they don’t, and this choice helps lend itself to more BOS trouble all over the wasteland).

white man cowboy—

kind of a simple inversion that’s been done before, but an important one and one that i like a lot. for starters, the “john wayne” cowboy is a bastardization of a history that was made up of ethnic minorities and whitewashed for hollywood aesthetic (also fuck you john wayne). while none of my research has come up with anything about women of color or nonbinary people in the western scene, only moc (whether this is intentional or not, i’m not sure), i still wanted to write kaj as non-male. frankly, this is because i wanted her to be an inversion of tired tropes, and that included being a debonair, byronic woman / non gender conforming hero (think gentleman jack) instead of a debonair, byronic white dude. we’ve got 20 of those for every fleshed out woman/enby on screen, lbr. kaj is also a femme fatale, but only by coincidence; she’s more of a wandering heart breaker than a necessarily dangerous woman, much like many of the heroes on screen.

i also find that non-men of color are one of the most underrepresented minorities in fiction—even media that celebrates diversity simplifies them down (hamilton), or centers their narrative and entire purpose around a man (hamilton, again). nevermind nonbinary people / trans folk. for that reason, i wanted kaj’s story to be about a woman of color / someone who doesn’t conform to expectations and doesn’t allow herself to be put in the sidelines for a white person or a male to lead her life. and regardless of whether a woman filling this swaggering, womanizing cowboy role is accurate to history or not, fallout’s setting lends itself an air of exaggeration, so i felt it was appropriate to include her here, instead of arguing with people over whether someone like her existed in actual history (my suspicions say yes, and that these people have simply been erased from the narrative for the convenience of certain people’s feelings, but still).

smarter than you look / deadly doctor (this one actually has a tvtropes page! look it up!)—

from the deadly doctor page : ‘ surely the ultimate example of the morally ambiguous doctorate. one reason for this is due to all his/her training : while having advanced knowledge on the human body can be used to save people, it also gives all the knowledge on how to injure and kill people with minimal effort by knowing all the body's weak points. some more sympathetic examples equate to the medical version of a well-intentioned extremist, who may certainly have good (or at least sympathetic/understandable) intentions but ruthless medical ethics. ’

one of the most important things kaj took from her thorough education is medical training—unable to depend on anyone after being traumatized, trusting any doctor who happened along to treat her illnesses was out of the question. she was also smart enough to know the original kaj wouldn’t be around to heal her up forever. thus, she began her training as a self preservation instinct; but over time, as she grew and relearned how to be compassionate and empathetic, she decided to use healing for good, too. trained as a young girl by the original kaj, and then later trained officially as a combat medic by the ncr, kaj has spent a countless amount of hours inside army tents, healing wounds and assisting doctors with tough cases. she even keeps a medical bag on her person for exactly that sort of situation (especially since supplies in the mojave aren’t exactly easy to dig up). though she’s a big scientist in general (the big mt saw to that), medicine is her specialty. she’s even stitched up her own wounds, though it’s not something she particularly enjoys (it takes a lot of whiskey and something for her to bite down on).

for reference, consider this scene of anton from no country for old men (TW: he’s performing self surgery, so it’s pretty gruesome). though both anton and kaj’s lifestyles are rough and even sadistic at times, they both still have medical training—if not to protect others, then to at least protect themselves. and like anton, it shows kaj’s inability to trust anyone with her most important commodity: herself. this makes her surgery in the big empty doubly as horrifying, given she took specific pains for something like this to not happen. it’s why she refuses to leave without all of her organs (also, stubbornness). all of this is just one of the ways kaj is way more ... well, everything than she looks. which leads into...

underestimate me if you dare, aka femme fatale (sort of?)—

though fallout prides itself on being a soft reset on the world, people’s perceptions of minorities are still ... iffy, due to real world influences by the creators. thus, the people around kaj often jump to assumptions about her based on her identity—mostly, that she’s weak. once, it offended her, but now it’s a perception that she encourages. after all, she’s not flat out strong like your usual hero, but is more of a hamlet-type; smart, perceptive, fast, and willing to strike from the shadows. it’s hard to do any of that if you’re putting on a big performance about your power (though admittedly, she’s been known to go big or go home if she’s planning on killing everyone; if she’s not faking nice and telling you what you wanna hear, trouble’s ahead).

of course, the reality is that kaj is a powerhouse. but these perceptions about her supposed weakness are why posing as a legion member is so easy—those who think she’s weak underestimate her or keep their distance, which gives her leave to do what she wants. she’s viewed more like a pet than a person by most, and though it frustrates her at times to pretend, it also gives her leave to do more, than if she were to simply pose as a man.

all that said, kaj doesn’t exactly qualify as a femme fatale. most of her lovers are just information givers, and they escape from their interaction unharmed. kaj killing her bed mates is actually less likely than her just sparing them and letting them go, none the wiser. of course, you kill one tyrant (maybe two or three) and suddenly you’re a black widow—

[aint-ashes]

Let’s Talk About Eugene: Chapter 7 (Part A)

Hey, everyone! We finally made it. Season 7, Episode 11: Hostiles and Calamities. This is the FIRST PART (there are 10 scenes total, 5 per part, and each separated into its own section) of the chapter where I will decode and debunk all the reasons that did and did not go into Eugene becoming Negan. 

There are a lot of reasons, but I know this is the question that everyone wants answered (and the question that people make the most faulty assumptions about), so I’m going to give you three general reasons right off the bat. The rest will be unveiled through what we see in the episode.

So, let’s get to them: Why did Eugene become Negan?

1.    It’s Negan’s world.

And the rules are different. In the pre-Negan world, there were predictable consequences for any action one might take (even though unpredictable circumstances may have prompted it). For example, when Eugene chose to endanger his life by biting Dwight, it was a predictable consequence that he, himself, would be injured or killed. He was shot—a negative consequence, but nothing that he didn’t sign up for.

The law of Negan is not the same. The qualities that Eugene so values in others have no stock in Negan’s world. Bravery and sacrifice are not rewarded in the same predictable manner as they were before. For example, when Eugene sacrificed himself in the RV, it was a predictable consequence that he would be killed in the place of his friends. The actual consequence was a mockery of his bravery by the Saviors’ refusal to legitimize it. For another example: when Daryl defied Negan’s rules and punched him in the line-up Glenn, who was following the rules, was killed as a consequence. Bravery and sacrifice no longer pay off.

It’s not the way the world is supposed to work. It’s a world without agency, because Negan calls the shots between life and death. It’s a world where the only thing that keeps you alive is your individual value to him; if you care at all about your own survival, then there is no room to care about anyone else. And if you do? Well, caring for anyone in Negan’s world is to put them directly in the line of fire. You must either surrender your humanity or the lives of the people you love.

There is no place for goodness anymore. That’s why Abraham is gone. That’s why Glenn is gone. Because they were a threat to the rule of law in Negan’s world.

This is not the world that Eugene is familiar with, and he must be cautious in the choices he makes here. To be useful is the only path with a predictable consequence: survival. And here, with nothing left to lose but his own life, he will do anything to protect it.

2.    Eugene is trapped.

Let’s put it this way: what choice does Eugene have? When Negan himself walks into his room, holding Lucille up to his face, and offering him a choice between life or death (or, at the very least, safety or squalor), why wouldn’t he choose to become Negan?

To be honest, I’m not convinced that he would so eagerly and willingly ‘become’ Negan if he were prompted the big “who are you?” in front of his family in Alexandria. Eugene’s bravery has always stemmed from his desire to be worth something to the people he cares about—to protect them, and to stand in solidarity with them.

But he’s not with his family, and he’s not in Alexandria. He is held captive in the Sanctuary by Negan himself. He is trapped both physically and morally—what kind of person does it make him if he becomes a Savior? And does he even care? Eugene does not love nor respect anyone at the Sanctuary. There is no one there worth being brave for. All he has is himself, and because he no longer respects himself, even he is not worth being brave for. There is nothing about his identity worth protecting.

When asked the “who are you?” Daryl responded with his own name, because to remain who he is was to remain the strong, brave, and relied upon person that he was. To become Negan would strip him of this, and thus insult the memory of his deceased friends.

Eugene does not see himself as strong, brave, or relied upon. There is nothing, anymore, that Negan could strip him of that would make Eugene any less of a person. To pretend otherwise would be an insult to the memory of these same deceased friends.

As a consequence of his survivor’s guilt and his inability to protect the people he loves (and with a little push from Rosita), Eugene has by now accepted himself to be a coward. He is, as he was that night in the forest, afraid for his own life. And no matter how little worth that life may have, he cannot escape his fear of losing it. So here, in the heart of Negan’s world, he surrenders to it.

Eugene’s goal is to stay alive. He really doesn’t have any other choice.

3.    Becoming Negan frees him of responsibility. (Not really, but from Eugene’s perspective…)

I think it’s clear by now that Eugene’s two worst fears are dying and the people around him dying. And which fear takes precedence depends on a number of factors (at this point, at least). But it’s undeniable that Eugene loves, respects, and wants to protect the people in his family. (If you want proof, you’re in luck! I’ve written six chapters about it.)

Becoming Negan not only secures a pretty permanent living situation away from his family, but also creates an entire identity apart from them. Being away from his family relieves him of the power to save them, and therefore relieves him of the power to be unable to save them.

Eugene still does take some responsibility for the wellbeing of his family, but that’s for next chapter.

SCENE: ARRIVAL AT SANCTUARY/EUGENE’S BEDROOM

Echoes of these reasons will recur throughout the episode, and new ones will pop up as well. So, ‘Hostiles and Calamities’. Let’s go.

Eugene’s entrance into enemy territory is about as terrifying as it gets. He’s just been uprooted from his home, from his family, presumably forever. He was quite literally pushed out of the gates of Alexandria, thrown in the back of a truck, and his head bagged. There is no guarantee that he will ever come back, that he will ever see anyone from Alexandria again.

He knows he’s headed for the Sanctuary. Eugene saw Daryl, back in ‘Service’, after he’d been held captive for a week. Everything that happened to him was apparent in his face—bruised, bloody, dirty, malnourished, exhausted. Eugene saw that the Daryl Dixon, perhaps the toughest and most stubborn of the survivors, had been beaten into compliance. Into silence. And the whole ride to the Sanctuary, blind and surrounded by armed Saviors, Eugene must be imagining all the ways in which they will torture him, too. If their methods could do that to Daryl, god knows what it would do to him.

When Eugene actually gets there, all he can immediately take in about his surroundings is the overwhelming roar of hundreds of walkers. He is dragged from the truck, and when the bag is pulled from his head, the first thing he sees is Negan. Accompanied by a welcoming party of Saviors who are kind of laughing at him. And now that he can see it, it’s suddenly very real; Eugene is in grave danger.

I don’t think he could be brave here if he tried. It’s just too much, and he’s so vulnerable. His freedom was sacrificed the moment he confessed to making the bullet, but as he enters the compound and the door shuts behind him, that fate becomes sealed. Eugene panics.

As the Savior Laura leads Eugene through the labyrinth of hallways and stairs, Eugene breaks down into hysterics. He resorts to begging. This is certainly a result of the fact that he’s living his biggest fear, but also calls back on that very first reason: this is Negan’s world, and the consequence of his building the bullet has not yet been revealed to him. He’s left to hang in his imagination of what Negan has in store, and that’s it’s own kind of torture—so, when Laura leads him to his own private bedroom stocked with furniture, food, and books, he’s extremely cautious.

Right away, the conditions in which Negan places Eugene are vastly different than the conditions that Daryl lived in. This is because Negan sizes up his individual prisoners and calculates what treatment is needed to sway them into Saviorhood; and Daryl and Eugene are on opposite ends of this spectrum.

Daryl, who was resistant and hotheaded, needed to be broken into becoming Negan. So, he was humiliated, starved, emotionally and physically exhausted, and completely controlled—Negan decided when or if he slept, what and how often he ate, what he wore, etc.

Eugene, on the other hand, is already broken. He is in a perpetual state of fear and grief, trembling and crying. So, Negan sets him up in comfort. He gives him his own space and a lock on his door to make him feel safe. He has a change of clothes ready on the rack, food in the fridge, and automatic status that entitles him to anything he might want at the Sanctuary. Negan recognizes that what Eugene needs is to be mended. And if he can do that for him, if Negan can make this terrified man feel safe enough to be useful, then Eugene is as good as his.

That’s reason number four for why he will eventually ‘become’ Negan: Eugene is made to feel safe at the Sanctuary. This reason comes up again at the very end, so I’ll go into it more later.

Half of the Eugene content in this episode is him familiarizing himself with the Savior lifestyle. The other half is Eugene testing the waters of embracing said lifestyle. Eugene’s exploration of his bedroom and the conversation with Laura is the beginning of that first half.

The most important piece from this conversation is that Eugene learns about the point system—and his reaction is important. When Eugene asks for potato chips, Laura explains to him that “#42 makes them”. Eugene confirms that the number is part of a coding system—a status tag for workers. When told that #42 would be making the chips fresh, Eugene immediately declines.

He doesn’t want to make more work for anyone on his behalf. He doesn’t want to be a part of how the Saviors treat their workers—who are given numbers instead of names.

That’s who Eugene is. He’s not the person who allowed nine people to die for him on the way to D.C. And he’s not Negan. He’s right in the middle, the kind of person who refuses to make trouble for anyone else. The kind of person who thinks about how his choices affect others.

That’s who he really is, but as he’s said before: the key to survival is allowing oneself to be shaped by the assigned environment. The Sanctuary is one hell of an environment to adapt to, but survival is all he has left. He’ll do anything for it.

SCENE: LAURA TAKES EUGENE TO THE ‘MARKETPLACE’

Eugene has an immersive experience in the marketplace as his next step into Sanctuary life. This is where everyone who works for points dwells.

The workers at the Sanctuary live in squalor. Negan himself said it: “You [could]…work for points, but you’re gonna wish you were dead.” We’ve seen the hardships of the workers through Dwight, Sherry, and her sister, through Amber’s look of horror when offered a demotion from wife to worker, etc. Some of them look almost as bad as Daryl did, hunger and exhaustion-wise, and Eugene surely notes this as he takes in his surroundings.

“They eat shit. We eat good,” Laura tells him.

This is a world apart from where he came. In Rick’s group, there was no hierarchy, at least in terms of provisions. Within the family, nobody ate less because they were worth less—if that were the case, Eugene surely would have starved by now.  Even when he contributed nothing to the group, when he didn’t even know how to hold a knife or had never killed a walker, he was protected and provided for. And when the whole family was starving, he had as much wild dog in his stomach as leader Rick and distrusted Gabriel.

It’s different at the Sanctuary. It’s every man and woman for themselves (which harkens back to reason #1, again), and none of them seem to be winning the fight. When Eugene witnesses one young woman steal off of the table of another Savior, he appears scandalized and watches her as she disappears nervously into a crowd.

I can’t tell if he’s upset because she stole something, or because he realizes she’s desperate enough that she has to steal something, but my money would be on both. He has a dozen eggs and shelves full of vegetables in his own private fridge, plus unlimited access to anything in this marketplace, yet here, the people who keep the Sanctuary fed and running are starving. It’s a system he likely feels both guilty and glad to be apart from.

When Laura offers him a pickle, which he had asked for earlier in the episode, he turns it down. He’s standing by the same value that made him turn down the chips; and, after seeing the conditions of the workers, I’m sure he wants even less to be a part of taking anything from them.

But, Laura pushes the entire jar into his hands and says: “You want something, haircut, you take it.” This is forced adaptation. In this one action, Laura has forced his status on him—he didn’t ask for this ranking, but Laura insists that he act on it by taking the pickles for himself. This is how life at the Sanctuary works; and it’s your life, now, too.

The takeaway from this scene: the fact that Eugene is outraged by the minor theft (it appeared to be one item—food, I think, though I can’t tell for sure) will stand as a point of reference later in this episode. Again, this is a good indication of who Eugene truly is, as opposed to who he was forced to be, and later will try to become in this environment.

SCENE: DR. SMARTYPANTS

This episode has a pattern of letting Eugene get comfortable, then breaking out a Negan scene that scares him to death, rinse, and repeat. After his tour of the marketplace, Eugene meets with Negan for the first time since the bullet incident in Alexandria—and he is terrified.

Just the way Negan likes it. Although Negan’s goal is to put Eugene back together rather than break him, he starts off their conversation with a threat to let him know that he is not off the hook by a long shot after the day’s incident with Rosita:

“Well, Eugene…I know you remember Lucille. Now, you see this right here? You might have to get real close. That, my friend, is the bullet you made. Now, under normal circumstances, I’d be showing you that real close over and over again. But, Eugene, see, all I really want to know is if you are a smartypants. You know things?”

It’s the perfect setup. But Eugene, too terrified to speak without stuttering or finishing his sentences replies:

“I am indeed a smarty-pants. I taught myself to cast bullets. I found a machine shop with the necessary… I read a lot, and, um… although my memory is not considered eidetic, I don’t skim and I don’t scrimp. If knowledge is dropped, I do indeed pick it up.”

Negan laughs disappointedly and says: “Oh, you really are just some asshole.”

Danger! Danger! If Eugene becomes “just some asshole” to Negan, he becomes valueless. And the only predictable consequence in Negan’s world is that if you have no particular value to him, your odds of survival are significantly damaged. Also considering he’s pretty sure he was just threatened to be Lucilled, Eugene better think of something fast. Something impressive that will help him survive.

“No, I’m not. I have PhDs in biochemistry, as well as immunology and microbiology, and I’ve completed my doctorate, which makes me a doctor. Prior to the collapse, I was part of a 10-person team at the Human Genome Project working under Dr. T. Brooks Ellis to weaponize diseases to fight weaponized diseases. Fire with, you know, fire.”

Eugene is still scared, and it shows in his voice, but most of the stuttering and stumbling falls away completely as soon as he turns back to the script. This is a comfort zone that Eugene inhabited for a long time when traveling with Abraham and the others. It worked once before, and it works again—after the spiel, Negan is all ears for Eugene.

The lie serves as a hook; Eugene impresses Negan with a fake identity so that he’ll pay attention to who he really is, and what he can do. Negan’s attention, though intimidating, is a good thing—he’s on his way out of the red, as long as he can keep impressing him. In this way, the lie also gave Eugene enough of a security blanket to be able to think clearly when Negan decides to test him.

When Eugene suggests molten metal to fasten the walkers to the fence, he shows Negan that he is able to make use of his surroundings and offer solutions to problems that nobody else could solve. He passes the test.

And then, something really interesting happens. Negan asks: “Did Rick have you doing this sort of valuable stuff for him?”

And Eugene doesn’t answer.

Did Rick have him doing that sort of valuable stuff? Not really! Rick pretty much ignored Eugene and anything he had to offer, in favor of working with other warrior- and leader-type people in the family (Daryl, Michonne, Glenn, Maggie, Abraham, etc.). Eugene had to find his own way to be valuable, including discovering a way to manufacture ammo—but in the meantime, coped with being pretty much useless to the group.

It probably worked out for the better that he was overlooked, because it forced him to come into his own as a survivor. Finding his own path made him as much a better person as it made him a better fighter. But now that he’s lost who he is, and doesn’t consider fighting or protecting to be a viable method of contribution from him, he’s back to having nothing but his knowledge.

And unlike Rick, Negan values that. That’s another reason Eugene ‘becomes’ Negan. Reason #5: his role at the Sanctuary gives him purpose.

DISCLAIMER! 

I have to be careful here. It isn’t by any fault of Rick’s that Eugene feels more valuable at the Sanctuary than he did in Alexandria. Eugene’s top priority is different now: in Alexandria, the goal into which he poured all his energy was contributing for the group and keeping the others as well as himself safe. At the Sanctuary, Eugene’s only goal is to keep himself alive. There is much less opportunity for failure when only your own life is on the line; so, of course Eugene feels more successful in his goals at the Sanctuary.

Plus, Rick did come to value Eugene (for both his knowledge and his bravery) in 6x16, and was of course upset when Eugene was taken away. I don’t believe that Eugene holds it against Rick in any way that he didn’t use him for his knowledge. In fact, Eugene much preferred to be valued for his courage and sacrifice come season 6. He knew that, after what he’d done, he had to earn Rick’s respect and acknowledgement. He’s not bitter about it. 

Let me repeat: BECOMING NEGAN IS NOT A BACKLASH AGAINST RICK!

Nevertheless, it does give him some form of worth—even if it’s not the worth that he had come to want for himself. It’s the only worth he believes he can have.

And he walks away from his first encounter with Negan, alive and with the beginning of a promise that he will keep living. We get that little devious smile, which I’m sure we all wanted to take as a sign that he had just secured the perfect position from which he could tear the Saviors apart from the inside. Unfortunately, it’s more of a “ha-ha-I-tricked-you-into-not-killing-me” smile. But, eh, I’ll take it anyway.

SCENE: EUGENE MEETS THE WIVES

When Amber, Frankie, and Tanya visit Eugene, I’m sure he’s aware that it’s a test. But it’s also, I think, a way to make Eugene more comfortable at the Sanctuary—this goes back to him needing to be mended rather than broken into becoming a Savior. If he sees that the Sanctuary has kind people (bonus points if they’re beautiful), that it’s not just filled with malnourished workers and stand-offish soldiers that seem to always be walking around with guns and sadistic smiles, Eugene may be more inclined to stay.  Enter Amber (I’m not sure why), and Frankie and Tanya, who are friendly and charismatic, easy to talk to, very kind women.

It’s nice to have someone around who doesn’t call him “haircut” or wave a barbed bat in his face, but this video game night is also, nevertheless, a test in obedience; Negan has given Eugene a very strict and simple rule. All he has to do is follow it, and he simultaneously moves up in Negan’s book and gains a couple friends.

It’s important that the first thing we see in this scene is a close-up of the pickle jar. Pickles were something that Eugene specifically asked for, then decided against for moral reasons, but was forced to take anyway. So he might as well eat them, right? But the jar is still full. He hasn’t eaten even one of them. This will be another point of reference later, but for now it tells us that Eugene is still aligned with his real self; eating the pickles would make him feel guilty.

Throughout this scene, Eugene does a good job of passing Negan’s test. He avoids Frankie’s physical advances and masterfully redirects a question about the Human Genome Project, and somehow ends up able to show off his knowledge. It doesn’t get any better than that!

The most important part of this segment is when he and the wives go outside to play with science. Amber is not with this whole date-night concept; she’s here to drink and cry. When she tells Tanya “we’re just slaves,” she’s referring to her status as a wife to Negan.

Shortly after, Savior Keno comes out to check on the noise, and Eugene tenses up. After Keno is dismissed, Frankie tells Eugene to relax. “You’re one of us,” she says.

The lines “you’re one of us,” and “we’re just slaves” complement each other. Negan has Amber (and Tanya and Frankie) as wives so that they are at his disposal whenever and for whatever he wants. This comes in exchange for safety and excusal from the points system, which creates the illusion of a choice—marry me or starve.

Eugene’s position is not unlike theirs. He is living in the illusion of security, with a bedroom and status benefits. The ways in which Negan will use him are entirely different, but he is really only safe as long as Negan deems his performance useful and satisfactory. Eugene may think he’s given himself the upper hand in lying to Negan, but he’s still a slave, whether he sees it that way or not.

SCENE: TANYA AND FRANKIE ASK FOR THE PILLS

There is a parallel Dwight storyline in this episode that becomes really important to Eugene’s story, come this scene. When Dwight returns to his house and finds the letter from Sherry, he reads from her: “Being there isn’t better than being dead. It’s worse.”

Following that scene, Frankie and Tanya knock on Eugene’s door and ask him to assist Amber’s suicide. Now, since this ends up being a ploy, I can’t say whether Amber is actually suicidal or not—but from what I gather, she may be headed that direction. She very well could have expressed that she wanted to die, which spurred Frankie and Tanya to act on killing Negan instead; so, for the sake of getting inside Eugene’s head, I’m going to assume that Amber did express suicidal thoughts.

Eugene is immediately upset. He has seen the workers in the marketplace fighting for survival, stealing just to fill their stomachs, and yet Amber, who has guaranteed protection from Negan himself, wants to die just to escape it.

This is Eugene’s first look at something that becomes a recurrent theme at the Sanctuary: those who are best off survival-wise are those closest to Negan. And those closest to Negan are those least willing to survive. Eugene cannot fathom this; he fears nothing more than death, and will do anything to avoid it—he counts himself lucky that he’s passed into Negan’s inner circle. But now that he’s here, he is witnessing that even in Negan’s world there are parts of a person that aren’t worth giving up. Even at the cost of survival.

In fact, there are parts of a person that are worth dying to protect, whether that be freedom, or dignity, a semblance of your old self, or loyalty to your friends and family. Rosita once told Eugene that the people around him dying was worse than death itself—now, he’s learning that maybe there are other things worse than death, too. It’s not yet a truth for him, but a truth he’s seeing in others very similar to him.

The story will likely sway this way for Eugene in season 8, but I’ll save my theories for the end of Part B.

When told that Amber is suicidal, Eugene looks about to cry. Then, he scrambles for reasons that she shouldn’t kill herself. Now might seem like an awkward time to bring up that he still hasn’t eaten any of those pickles, but that and his immediate concern for Amber both go to show what Frankie tells him next:

“We can tell that you are a good man. There aren’t many of those left.”

No, there aren’t. There aren’t any good men left. The last of them died in that lineup while Eugene was quivering in fear for his own life. I know this is what he’s thinking when he looks away and says: “Truth of the matter is, I’m not good. I’m not lawful, neutral, or chaotic. None of the above.” I’m not like him. I’m not like them. I’m not who I thought I was.

This is the first time Eugene has said anything about who he is since “I’m a survivor”. He has never before come to the conclusion that he’s not a good person. Even back during the lie, he reasoned with himself that the benefits to his gullible companions would outweigh the costs to protect him.

But he is good. He can’t fight it. That’s why, when told that Amber will suffer without his help, he is as good as won over. While still deeply upset, Eugene is needed again. Not to save a life, but to save a person from her life. He is called upon to protect, and though Amber isn’t one of his family, he begins to nod when Frankie says:

“You are good, Eugene. You have to be.”

I know it sucks and it’s scary, but it’s time to be brave.

Not only does Eugene agree to help them, he agrees to help immediately. And in that moment, he’s not thinking of Negan or of himself. He’s not thinking of the consequences that may come of helping to end the life of one of Negan’s wives. He’s not thinking of how that would impact his own survival, should Negan ever find out.

He’s thinking of Amber, a girl he hardly knows, but whose agency and dignity, whose right to die in a way she deserves he is willing to put himself on the line to protect. And if that doesn’t show that he’s one of the last good men on earth, I don’t know what does.

Thus ends Part A, and Eugene’s wading into Sanctuary life. Part B will explore five more scenes in which Eugene goes all out and dives into Saviorhood. We’ll talk about his reasons for this dive and whether or not they’re contradictory to Saviorhood itself (teaser: they kind of are, lol), as well as more about why he ‘becomes’ Negan.

My goal is to have Part B posted before tomorrow night’s episode, because we’re getting lots of new Eugene content. Get hype and nervous! See you all tomorrow!

[alicedoessurveys]

Alphabet Tag

A – Accidents

01. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes, two. But not bad ones and not while I’ve been driving. 
02. Do you have a lot of scars? I have a couple 
03. Have you ever been in a fist fight with someone? no 
04. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake? not seriously hurt 
05. Have you ever had stitches? Where? I guess I must have had stitches when I had my appendix out but I was too young to remember

B – Beauty

06. Do you consider yourself beautiful? no 
07. Are you self conscious of how you look? yes very 
08. Do you put on a lot of makeup? When I’m going out then yes I put makeup on but I wouldn’t say I put a lot on. 
09. Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? No, unless you count getting your teeth straightened then yes I would 
10. What do you think makes a person beautiful? their spirit and personality.

C – Consequences

11. What was the longest amount of time you’ve been grounded for? I was never grounded 
12. What would you do if you got pregnant, keep it or have an abortion? i can’t even think about that, literal nightmare 
13. Do you ever think about how your actions affect other people? Yes 
14. What do you think is the worst punishment someone could give you? Take my family away 
15. What is one thing you wish you didn’t do, just because it wasn’t worth it in the end? Idk

D – Dealing

16. When you are mad at someone, how do you show them? Don’t speak to them 
17. Name a time when you had to be strong. when Ethan left 
18. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting? Any kind of abuse at home? Parents used to fight every Sunday when I was a kid 
19. When people at school don’t accept you, or have problems with you, how do you react? Thankfully I’m not in school anymore 
20. Have you ever lost someone to death? Explain how you got through it. Only pets. I cried a lot

E – Experience

21. Have you ever had a job? Any volunteer jobs? Yes I’ve had two jobs 
22. Do you think that you are sexually experienced, or not at all? Not at all :’) 
23. Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far? totes emosh 
24. Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)? No way. As much as I love the idea of having my own place I dont like being home alone at night 
25. How old do you act? Idk, I definitely dont act as grown up as other 22 year olds but then I have times when I act like an 80 year old

F – Family

26. Is there anyone in your family you don’t talk to? Why? i don’t speak to a lot of my cousins, its not that we fell out or anything I just have soooooo many cousins and were not all close 
27. If you had to choose, family or friends? Family 
28. Can you tell your parents or one of your parents anything?   I can tell my mom anything I just chose to keep some things to myself 
 29. Do you have any siblings? If so, do you ever get jealous of them? I have an older sister. I do get jealous of her because she’s always been the pretty sister and she actually has a job and suceeds at life whereas I’m a 22 year old unemployed girl with anxiety who still lives with her parents and has no idea what to do with her life 
 30. How often do you spend ‘quality time’ with family members? every day

G – Growing

31. How tall are you? How tall do you wish you were? 5 ft 7, I’m okay being this height 
32. Do you think that you have grown more in the past year than any year before that? nope 
33. As a person, do you think you are mature for your age or still act childish? Like I said earlier, it depends on the day. 
34. Are you scared to think that one day you will turn 30, then 40, then 50? Yes 
35. Do you believe you still have a lot to learn? Yes

H – Hope

36. Love – real or not? real 
37. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? Bit of both depending on the situation, my mood, who I’m with 
38. Do you believe in fate, that everything happens for a reason, or do you think that our actions lead the way?   Obviously our actions have consequences but I do believe everything happens for a reason 
39. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? Yes 
40. What gives you hope when you just feel like dying? Family

I – Issues

41. Do you suffer from depression or constant sadness/loneliness? Yes 
42. Do you have any type of disease or disability? Yes, I have hashimotos thyoiditis 
43. Are you currently in a hard relationship or have bad luck with the opposite sex? Not in a relationship, never have been. 
44. Do you think that you are alone in this world? Nope 
45. How often do you think about death, suicide or running away? Think about death more than I should but thats living with anxiety.

J – Jokes

46. Say a word or phrase that would not be funny to anyone but you & one of your friends (an inside joke) ‘Penetrating eyes’ 
47. Are you usually the one who makes people laugh,Or the other way around? I make people laugh, but I’m also easy to make laugh
 48. Do you cry when you laugh hard? Yes
 49. Write down a hilarious moment you had with someone that makes you laugh to this day! Too many memories with my sis
 50. Do you ever get in trouble for laughing or talking a lot during class? I haven’t been in class for years now but I did used to get told off for laughing, I’m a giggler

K – Knowledge

51. The purpose of school: to learn, to cause trouble or to hang out with friends? To learn and to be with friends 
 52. Do people refer to you as smart, dumb, or average? Smart, because I’m god with technology and I can quite often answer questions on quiz shows because my brain remembers useless knowledge 
 53. What was the highest grade you have received (full course mark) ever? I got distinction (highest possible mark in that course) for something I did in theatrical make up class                                                                                     54. What was your last average? This year would you like to maintain it or aim higher?                                                                                                            I dont know what that means cause I’m not a student..                                    55. What do you find the most interesting subject to be (to study or to talk about)?                                                                                                          History, although I didn’t actually study it but I wish I did

L – Love

56. Are you currently in love? If not, have you been before? No & no. 
 57. Do people around you show you a lot of love (tell you they love you, hug you, kiss you, etc.)? Yes
 58. Is love worth it? Probably                                                                                                              59. Do you hate it when girls in their young teenage years say they ‘love’ someone that they’ve been dating for a few months?                                 No, its none of my business. and if thats what they believe they are feeling at that time then good for them                                                                              60. Does it take a lot for you to say you love someone, or is it just a word?  I only say it to family and people I really do love. I think it gets thrown around too much these days

M – Money

61. Do you believe that money makes the world go round? Yes, annoyingly. You can’t really do anything without money 
 62. Is your family on the poor side, average, or above average when it comes to money? Average I think. We have a lot of debts but we still never go without or anything like that. Compared to other people I wouldn’t say we are poor 
 63. Are you saving up for college/university, or planning to? Nope
 64. Would you rather win millions of dollars & be set for life, or find the perfect person to marry & start a family with? Not gonna lie, id rather win the money (in pounds though cause dollars are useless in UK) because I could help my family, pay for the carpark my church needs, donate some and not have to worry about bills or anything again

65. On a scale of 1-10, how important is money to you?                            Like 8, but only because its so important to the world. I don’t like that money is so vital because its something that is so easily lost and peoples lives have crumbled because of money trouble. Its scary.

N – Naughty

66. Are you a virgin? Yes
 67. What do you think about doing sexual things with someone you’re not going out with? Its not for me, but who am I to judge anyone else who wants to do that. 
 68. Do you know anybody you consider a ’slut’? What makes you say that? Nope
 69. If you could, would you erase some things you did in the past or make it so you did more? Yes
 70. Do you consider yourself more nice or more naughty? You can’t say both! Nice

O – Openness

71. How long does it take for you to open up to someone? Not that long really, I’m too trusting of people and I get attached quickly 
 72. What does it take for you to fully trust someone? If I get the feeling that they trust me, and that they’re a genuine person who actually cares and isn’t just looking for gossip or using me 
 73. Are you generally untrusting towards people because of past experiences, or any other reason? Nope I’m quite trusting I think
 74. When are you comfortable with someone sexually? Never. there was someone who I got very close to a few years ago but I still never wanted to do anything like that. We kissed and that was about it but even then I was like nope I don’t like this 
 75. When it comes to parents and close friends, what’s the limit of what you can tell them? i tell my mom the most but theres still stuff I wouldn’t tell her but might tell my close friends. But even then theres stuff that I just wouldn’t tell anyone ever no matter how much I trust them

P – Positive

76. Have you ever had an experience with someone that didn’t necessarily end positively? Do you remember the sad times or keep the memory of that person because of the good times? Hasn’t everyone had negative experiences with people.thats just life
 77. Do you agree with the saying: better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all? I guess so 
 78. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? What do you try to be? i swear we’ve already had this question!
 79. Do you agree that something good can come out of everything? Yes
 80. Have you ever had a time where something really bad happened, but something really good happened because of it? If so, please explain what it was: one of the worst days of my life was a couple years ago. I was in hospital for 10 hours while they did tests and X-rays and shiz because they suspected I had a blood clot in my lung because I had chest pains and I couldn’t breathe and it was just the scariest day. Turns out I didn’t and I was totally fine, it was either a muscle thing or just anxiety..but if I had never gone into hospital that day they would never had done a blood test and would never had spotted that there was something wrong with my thyroid. also turns out that with my type of throid disease, if left untreated it can cause you to go into a coma.. so yeah I guess something good came out of that horrible experience

Q – Questions

81. When faced with a problem, do you ask for help or try to figure it out yourself? Try to figure it out then ask for help if I’m really stuck
 82. Do you often question the world and how we came about? What are some things you would like to know about creation? I’m a christian so I believe in God & creation but it still blows my mind. 
 83. Do you think the government is truthful? If you could ask the president one question, what would it be? HA no, I don’t trust the government as far as I can throw ‘em. 
 84. When someone does something wrong to you, do you confront them and ask them why they did it or just let it go?  Depends who it is and what they’ve done
 85. What is one unsolved mystery about the world that you want answers to? who is Banksy?! I wanna know who it is and what they look like :’)

R – Respect

86. How do you show respect? Be polite, have manners, smile
 87. What can someone do for you to lose all respect for them? Be rude, ignorant, untrustworthy, lie
 88. Do you respect your teachers, parents, and other authority figures? Parents yes. anyone else, it depends if they deserve respect, if they behave in a way that should be respected
 89. When you are disrespectful to your parents, what is the punishment? Im not disrespectful to my parents. We don’t have the type of relationship where they would punish me anyway, they would just laugh it off
 90. If someone is mean to you, are you mean back or do you kill them with kindness? Just cut them out my life tbh

S – School

91. If you are still in school, what grade will you be going into? N/a
 92. When will you graduate high school/college? N/a
 93. After high school, what did you do/are you planning to do? N/a
 94. Do you like or hate school? What do you like/hate about it? N/a
 95. Have you ever been suspended, expelled, or dropped out of school? no, no, yes. I dropped out of college like 3 times.

T – Temptation

96. Have you ever done something wrong, knowing it was wrong, because something inside of you said it was okay? Yes
 97. Has anyone ever pressured you to smoke or drink? Did you do it? I’ve been pressures to drink but I said no. 
 98. Did you ever cheat on someone? Why did you do it? No
 99. Did you ever want to do something sexual with someone you didn’t really know or love? What did you end up doing? Nope.                                                                                                                100. Do you give in to temptation easily, or are you more independent and strong willed?                                                                                                       It depends on what it is. I’m not very good as resisting temptation if its something I really want to do

U – Unique

102. Do you do a lot of things because your friends are doing it? No
 103. Do you follow trends, wear whatever you want, or wear really unique pieces? I just wear what I want, what I feel comfortable it
 104. Do you give in easily to peer pressure? Do you do things such as smoke, drink, or have casual sex? Im quite stubborn so I don’t give in to peer pressure
 105. What makes you different from people your age? I’ve never been to a nightclub, never got drunk, never had sex, I’m not in university, I actually like my family

V – Value

106. What’s the most expensive thing in your room? My macbook
 107. What’s more valuable: your life or the lives of your loved ones? Would you sacrifice your life for other people? Loved ones for sure, my life is going nowhere
 108. What is something you value not because it cost a lot, but because it means a lot to you? My teddy I’ve had since I was born. 
 109. If there was a fire in your house/apartment, what is the first thing you would grab? My pets, my family, my laptop maybe if I had time purely because its so freakin expensive and theres no way I could ever afford to buy another one. Id wanna take my whole bedroom with me because its taken me so damn long to get it how it is now and I’m really happy with it
 110. Do you think past memories and experiences are more valuable than what could possibly happen in the future? Idk

W – Wishes

111. If you had three wishes, what would they be? My health & skinny body back, unlimited money for me and my family, for cruelty & hate to be gone from the world 
 112. Would you rather wish yourself to be happy, or your loved ones? Loved ones
 113. Do you believe that wishes come true if you really believe in them? Nope
 114. Have you ever had a wish come true? If so, what was that wish? No
 115. Do you find wishing for things a waste of time because everything that’s meant to happen, will happen? Not really, I still make wishes even though I know they won’t come true its just nice to have that hope. I pray more than wish.

(I've just realised theres no ��x’ and that questions 116-120 are missing..?)

Y – You

121. Are you more independent or social? Independant 
 122. What is something that makes you very mad when you see it? Animal cruelty, terrorism, hate of any kind
 123. Do you think that you have potential to do great things? I hope so 
 124. Do you think people are born a certain way, or develop their personalities based on what they go through in life? Develop
 125. Do you think people are generally good ? Everyone has the potential to be good, its about how you are bought up and how you choose to be

Z – Zest

126. Are you currently happy with your life? Why or why not? no. I’m fat, unhealthy, unemployed, single, blah blah blah 
 127. Do you go on FacebookCraze.com to get facebook survey’s and quizzes like this one? nope.. never heard of it..
 128. When change occurs, do you get scared or are you excited for it? it depends what the change is but I tend to be scared. Change makes me anxious 
 129. Do you like to try new things, meet new people? Nope
 130. What is the most motivational thing in the world? Idk haha

[runawayylove]

The A-Z Of Questions Quiz Survey A – Accidents 01. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes many actually. 🙄 02. Do you have a lot of scars? I have quite a few. 03. Have you ever been in a fist fight with someone? lol yes. 04. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake? Yes. 05. Have you ever had stitches? Where? No thank God. B – Beauty 06. Do you consider yourself beautiful? I'm working on believing it. 07. Are you self conscious of how you look? In some ways yes. 08. Do you put on a lot of makeup? Not anymore. 09. Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? Hell yeah. 10. What do you think makes a person beautiful? Their personalities and the way they treat themselves and other people. C – Consequences 11. What was the longest amount of time you’ve been grounded for? Never been grounded. 12. What would you do if you got pregnant, keep it or have an abortion? Lol keep it. 13. Do you ever think about how your actions affect other people? Now that I've grown up, yes. 14. What do you think is the worst punishment someone could give you? Taking away my cell phone. 😂 15. What is one thing you wish you didn’t do, just because it wasn’t worth it in the end? Hmm I don't have anything in mind. Everything happends for a reason. D – Dealing 16. When you are mad at someone, how do you show them? Lol, I def let them know. 17. Name a time when you had to be strong. Losing my dad, I'm still trying to be strong over it. 18. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting? Any kind of abuse at home? Nope none. 19. When people at school don’t accept you, or have problems with you, how do you react? When I was in school it did upset me, I would laugh about it now. 20. Have you ever lost someone to death? Unfortunately Explain how you got through it. You don't get through it, every day is a struggle, you just slowly learn how to deal with it. E – Experience 21. Have you ever had a job? Any volunteer jobs? I have a job now. 22. Do you think that you are sexually experienced, or not at all? Lol def experienced. Ask my fiancé 😏 23. Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far? Def been through a lot, but it's made me who I am today. 24. Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)? Already am. 25. How old do you act? Lmao I don't know. F – Family 26. Is there anyone in your family you don’t talk to? Why? My dads side. Long story. 27. If you had to choose, family or friends? Family. 28. Can you tell your parents or one of your parents anything? I tell my mom everything, just like I could tell my dad anything. 29. Do you have any siblings? If so, do you ever get jealous of them? 1 brother and nope we're close as hell. 30. How often do you spend ‘quality time’ with family members? Often actually. G – Growing 31. How tall are you? How tall do you wish you were 5'3 and height doesn't matter. 32. Do you think that you have grown more in the past year than any year before that? Grown up yes. 33. As a person, do you think you are mature for your age or still act childish? Mature. I have a baby I have to be mature. 34. Are you scared to think that one day you will turn 30, then 40, then 50? Umm yes. 35. Do you believe you still have a lot to learn? Of course everyone does. H – Hope 36. Love – real or not? REAL. 💍 37. Are you a pessimist of an optimist? I would like to say optimist. 38. Do you believe in fate, that everything happens for a reason, or do you think that our actions lead the way? I believe everything happends for a reason. Fate. 39. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? I sure hope so. 40. What gives you hope when you just feel like dying? My daughter, my fiancé, and my family. I – Issues 41. Do you suffer from depression or constant sadness/loneliness? No. 42. Do you have any type of disease or disability? Just anxiety. 43. Are you currently in a hard relationship or have bad luck with the opposite sex? No I'm happier then I've ever been. I'm freaking getting married in 8 days! 👰🏻 44. Do you think that you are alone in this world? No. 45. How often do you think about death, suicide or running away? I don't anymore. J – Jokes 46. Say a word or phrase that would not be funny to anyone but you & of your friends (an inside joke) Hmm I don't know? 47. Are you usually the one who makes people laugh,Or the other way around? Both. 48. Do you cry when you laugh hard? Omg yes. 49. Write down a hilarious moment you had with someone that makes you laugh to this day! Too many to name. 50. Do you ever get in trouble for laughing or talking a lot during class? Never did no. K – Knowledge 51. The purpose of school: to learn, to cause trouble or to hang out with friends? Learn. 52. Do people refer to you as smart, dumb, or average? Lmao they refer me to a blonde. 😂 53. What was the highest grade you have received (full course mark) ever? A. 54. What was your last average? This year would you like to maintain it or aim higher? Not in school. 55. What do you find the most interesting subject to be (to study or to talk about)? None. L – Love 56. Are you currently in love? If not, have you been before? Yes I'm def in love. 57. Do people around you show you a lot of love (tell you they love you, hug you, kiss you, etc.)? My fiancé can't keep her hands off me. 😏 58. Is love worth it? Def esp when your with the right person. 59. Do you hate it when girls in their young teenage years say they ‘love’ someone that they’ve been dating for a few months? No. I knew Kate was the one right away. 60. Does it take a lot for you to say you love someone, or is it just a word? Not with Kate I just knew. ❤️ M – Money 61. Do you believe that money makes the world go round? In some ways. 62. Is your family on the poor side, average, or above average when it comes to money? Average. 63. Are you saving up for college/university, or planning to? For my daughter yes she has a college fund. 64. Would you rather win millions of dollars & be set for life, or find the perfect person to marry & start a family with? Perfect person of course. 65. On a scale of 1-10, how important is money to you? 10. N – Naughty 66. Are you a virgin? Lmao. 67. What do you think about doing sexual things with someone you’re not going out with? I've done it. 68. Do you know anybody you consider a ’slut’? What makes you say that? No. 69. If you could, would you erase some things you did in the past or make it so you did more? Erase certain people yes. 70. Do you consider yourself more nice or more naughty? You can’t say both! Naughty. 😏 O – Openness 71. How long does it take for you to open up to someone? Awhile. 72. What does it take for you to fully trust someone? Being with the right person. 73. Are you generally untrusting towards people because of past experiences, or any other reason? I was in the beginning. Now I trust Kate with my entire life. 74. When are you comfortable with someone sexually? More than comfortable. 😏 75. When it comes to parents and close friends, what’s the limit of what you can tell them? Anything. P – Positive 76. Have you ever had an experience with someone that didn’t necessarily end positively? If so, would you rather erase the memory of that person because of the sad times or keep the memory of that person because of the good times? Yes, erase completely please. 77. Do you agree with the saying: better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all? In some ways. 78. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? What do you try to be? Optimistic. 79. Do you agree that something good can come out of everything? In some ways. 80. Have you ever had a time where something really bad happened, but something really good happened because no of it? If so, please explain, what it was: lmao meeting the love of my life after the mistake of my life. She's the best thing to ever happen to me besides my daughter. ❤️ Q – Questions 81. When faced with a problem, do you ask for help or try to figure it out yourself? Figure it out myself. 82. Do you often question the world and how we came about? What are some things you would like to know about creation? I do question life sometimes and all about meaning. 83. Do you think the government is truthful? If you could ask the president one question, what would it be? I'm scared of that answer. And nothing I don't want to talk to the president. 84. When someone does something wrong to you, do you confront them and ask them why they did it or just let it go? Confront of course. 85. What is one unsolved mystery about the world that you want answers to? Why death. Why not live forever. R – Respect 86. How do you show respect? With emotions and effort. 87. What can someone do for you to lose all respect for them? Talk shit. 88. Do you respect your teachers, parents, and other authority figures? Yes. 89. When you are disrespectful to your parents, what is the punishment? None lol. 90. If someone is mean to you, are you mean back or do you kill them with kindness? Mean back. 😂 S – School 91. If you are still in school, what grade will you be going into?None. 92. When will you graduate high school/college? Done with school. 93. After high school, what did you do/are you planning to do? We'll see what the future holds. 94. Do you like or hate school? What do you like/hate about it? Hate school always have. 95. Have you ever been suspended, expelled, or dropped out of school? Suspended lol. T – Temptation 96. Have you ever done something wrong, knowing it was wrong, because something inside of you said it was okay? lol yes. 97. Has anyone ever pressured you to smoke or drink? Did you do it? No. Never. 98. Did you ever cheat on someone? Why did you do it? Yes, I wasn't in love and was unhappy. 99. Did you ever want to do something sexual with someone you didn’t really know or love? I've done it. What did you end up doing? Everything . 100. Do you give in to temptation easily, or are you more independent and strong willed? It depends. U – Unique 102. Do you do a lot of things because your friends are doing it? No. 103. Do you follow trends, wear whatever you want, or wear really unique pieces? I wear whatever I want. 104. Do you give in easily to peer pressure? Do you do things such as smoke, drink, or have casual sex? Lol no. I drink, and have casual sex, lol I'm in adult. 105. What makes you different from people your age? Having a kid. Getting married. V – Value 106. What’s the most expensive thing in your room? My tv. 107. What’s more valuable: your life or the lives of your loved ones? Would you sacrifice your life for other people? The lives of my loved ones. Of course I would give my life to my loved ones. 108. What is something you value not because it cost a lot, but because it means a lot to you? My engagement ring. 💍 109. If there was a fire in your house/apartment, what is the first thing you would grab? 110. Do you think past memories and experiences are more valuable than what could possibly happen in the future? Hell no. W – Wishes 111. If you had three wishes, what would they be? Having my dad be alive, I would use all 3 wishes on that. 112. Would you rather wish yourself to be happy, or your loved ones? My loved ones. 113. Do you believe that wishes come true if you really believe in them? I would like to think that. 114. Have you ever had a wish come true? If so, what was that wish? Yes, my daughter is my wish come true and Kate was my wish come true. She completed my fairytale. 115. Do you find wishing for things a waste of time because everything that’s meant to happen, will happen? No I always wish on stars. Y – You 121. Are you more independent or social? Social. 122. What is something that makes you very mad when you see it? Animal cruelty. 123. Do you think that you have potential to do great things? Of course. 124. Do you think people are born a certain way, or develop their personalities based on what they go through in life? Develop their personalities for sure. 125. Do you think people are generally good ? I am not sure anymore with what's going on in the world. Z – Zest 126. Are you currently happy with your life? Why or why not? Yes. I have a beautiful daughter and I'm getting married, and have a wonderful family and friends.

[silvershadow1398]

#22

A – Accidents

01. Have you ever been in a car accident? Nope, but unfortunately I’m inclined to think “not yet” 02. Do you have a lot of scars? I have some but no not a lot 03. Have you ever been in a fist fight with someone? Nope 04. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake? Nope but I’ve been seriously hurt by mistake 05. Have you ever had stitches? Where? Wisdom teeth extraction, but that doesn’t really count

B – Beauty

06. Do you consider yourself beautiful? Nope 07. Are you self conscious of how you look? Yes 08. Do you put on a lot of makeup? I don’t put on a lot for the most part, but I absolutely can 09. Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? I’ve thought about it but I’d never pursue it 10. What do you think makes a person beautiful? Looks do help, but so does a kind heart

C – Consequences

11. What was the longest amount of time you’ve been grounded for? I’ve never been grounded, but I’ve had things taken away from me 12. What would you do if you got pregnant, keep it or have an abortion? Abortion, sorry but that’s the honest truth 13. Do you ever think about how your actions affect other people? I do when it’s too late 14. What do you think is the worst punishment someone could give you? Being forced to live with a roommate (or more) that I don’t get along with and who causes trouble 15. What is one thing you wish you didn’t do, just because it wasn’t worth it in the end? I was asked to replace someone in a dance but I was told it was fine if I couldn’t make rehearsal. I should’ve not gone

D – Dealing

16. When you are mad at someone, how do you show them? I get super passive aggressive 17. Name a time when you had to be strong. Whenever my mom gets upset and anxious about things... 18. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting? Any kind of abuse at home? Parents fighting, and I feel like I may have been emotionally abused to some degree 19. When people at school don’t accept you, or have problems with you, how do you react? I isolate myself 20. Have you ever lost someone to death? Explain how you got through it. Other than family members, no

E – Experience

21. Have you ever had a job? Any volunteer jobs? Yes 22. Do you think that you are sexually experienced, or not at all? Not at all lol 23. Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far? I’ve gone through A LOT 24. Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)? Nope 25. How old do you act? Sometimes I act like I’m 25, other times I act like I’m 15

F – Family

26. Is there anyone in your family you don’t talk to? Why? Most of my dad’s side because most of them don’t like me or my mom (they don’t make that explicitly known, but I think so) 27. If you had to choose, family or friends? Friends 28. Can you tell your parents or one of your parents anything? My mom usually 29. Do you have any siblings? If so, do you ever get jealous of them? No 30. How often do you spend ‘quality time’ with family members? A lot

G – Growing

31. How tall are you? How tall do you wish you were? I’m 5′1″, I wish I was around 5′4″ 32. Do you think that you have grown more in the past year than any year before that? I’ve grown a LOT since starting college 33. As a person, do you think you are mature for your age or still act childish? Most of the time I’m mature for my age 34. Are you scared to think that one day you will turn 30, then 40, then 50? Kinda but I’m also excited because so far my 20′s have been horrible 35. Do you believe you still have a lot to learn? I have SO much to learn

H – Hope

36. Love – real or not? Can be real 37. Are you a pessimist of an optimist? I wish I could say otherwise, but pessimist 38. Do you believe in fate, that everything happens for a reason, or do you think that our actions lead the way? Not everything, but a lot of things happen for a reason 39. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? God I hope not 40. What gives you hope when you just feel like dying? I try to think about things I’m looking forward to in the future

I – Issues

41. Do you suffer from depression or constant sadness/loneliness? Not diagnosed but I think I might have depression 42. Do you have any type of disease or disability? No 43. Are you currently in a hard relationship or have bad luck with the opposite sex? I just have bad luck 44. Do you think that you are alone in this world? Yep 45. How often do you think about death, suicide or running away? A lot... but I’d never do any of those

J – Jokes

46. Say a word or phrase that would not be funny to anyone but you & one of your friends (an inside joke) I honestly can’t think of anything rn 47. Are you usually the one who makes people laugh, or the other way around? Both 48. Do you cry when you laugh hard? I haven’t in a long time but I think I could 49. Write down a hilarious moment you had with someone that makes you laugh to this day! I really can’t think of a specific one rn but there are definitely some 50. Do you ever get in trouble for laughing or talking a lot during class? No

K – Knowledge

51. The purpose of school: to learn, to cause trouble or to hang out with friends? To learn 52. Do people refer to you as smart, dumb, or average? Average for the most part, smart in some aspects but dumb af in others 53. What was the highest grade you have received (full course mark) ever? A 54. What was your last average? This year would you like to maintain it or aim higher? All B’s, aim higher (going to be difficult this particular semester but I can hope) 55. What do you find the most interesting subject to be (to study or to talk about)? Science!

L – Love

56. Are you currently in love? If not, have you been before? Nope and nope 57. Do people around you show you a lot of love (tell you they love you, hug you, kiss you, etc.)? Yes 58. Is love worth it? Sure 59. Do you hate it when girls in their young teenage years say they ‘love’ someone that they’ve been dating for a few months? I used to think it was cute, now I think it’s annoying 60. Does it take a lot for you to say you love someone, or is it just a word? It takes a lot for me to say it

M – Money

61. Do you believe that money makes the world go round? It helps but no 62. Is your family on the poor side, average, or above average when it comes to money? Above average 63. Are you saving up for college/university, or planning to? I’m in college now 64. Would you rather win millions of dollars & be set for life, or find the perfect person to marry & start a family with? Ugh that’s difficult, I used to always say marriage, but now I’m kinda thinking money now 65. On a scale of 1-10, how important is money to you? 6, it definitely helps but isn’t everything

N – Naughty

66. Are you a virgin? Yes 67. What do you think about doing sexual things with someone you’re not going out with? Very small chance, but for the most part no 68. Do you know anybody you consider a ’slut’? What makes you say that? Yes, this person has had PID from having sex so much and is infertile 69. If you could, would you erase some things you did in the past or make it so you did more? Erase 70. Do you consider yourself more nice or more naughty? You can’t say both! Nice

O – Openness

71. How long does it take for you to open up to someone? I can open up about some things pretty quickly, others I never mention ever 72. What does it take for you to fully trust someone? Some things I don’t trust anyone 73. Are you generally untrusting towards people because of past experiences, or any other reason? Past experiences and also reading about other people’s experiences 74. When are you comfortable with someone sexually? I have never been comfortable with anyone sexually 75. When it comes to parents and close friends, what’s the limit of what you can tell them? Regarding both, I am still in the closet. Regarding my dad, a few other things

P – Positive

76. Have you ever had an experience with someone that didn’t necessarily end positively? If so, would you rather erase the memory of that person because of the sad times or keep the memory of that person because of the good times? Yes, and I’d rather keep the memory because now I know not to waste my time with anyone who’s similar

77. Do you agree with the saying: better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all? Yes 78. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? What do you try to be? Pessimistic, I need to be more optimistc 79. Do you agree that something good can come out of everything? Yes 80. Have you ever had a time where something really bad happened, but something really good happened because of it? If so, please explain what it was: Yes but I can’t think of a specific example

Q – Questions

81. When faced with a problem, do you ask for help or try to figure it out yourself? Try to figure it out myself, I hate asking for help 82. Do you often question the world and how we came about? What are some things you would like to know about creation? Yes, I want to know why tf I was born the way I am 83. Do you think the government is truthful? If you could ask the president one question, what would it be? No and I do not wish to talk to scumbag Trump at all 84. When someone does something wrong to you, do you confront them and ask them why they did it or just let it go? I try to let it go because I don’t like confrontation 85. What is one unsolved mystery about the world that you want answers to? Idk

R – Respect

86. How do you show respect? I have good manners and I’m courteous 87. What can someone do for you to lose all respect for them? Be a scumbag to everyone, even if they’re nice to just me 88. Do you respect your teachers, parents, and other authority figures? Yes, unless I really don’t like them 89. When you are disrespectful to your parents, what is the punishment? Me feeling like garbage about it, and usually my mom gets really stern with me 90. If someone is mean to you, are you mean back or do you kill them with kindness? I’m mean back

S – School

91. If you are still in school, what grade will you be going into? I’m in college, year 3 undergrad 92. When will you graduate high school/college? Graduate college in 2020 93. After high school, what did you do/are you planning to do? I’m in college 94. Do you like or hate school? What do you like/hate about it? It’s meh, I’ve met some good people and teachers/professors but I’ve had pretty shitty days too 95. Have you ever been suspended, expelled, or dropped out of school? Nope

T – Temptation

96. Have you ever done something wrong, knowing it was wrong, because something inside of you said it was okay? Yep 97. Has anyone ever pressured you to smoke or drink? Did you do it? I’ve never been explicitly pressured to drink, but I’ve been subtly pressured. Yes I did. I have never been pressured to smoke and I will never do it even if someone does 98. Did you ever cheat on someone? Why did you do it? No 99. Did you ever want to do something sexual with someone you didn’t really know or love? What did you end up doing? Nope 100. Do you give in to temptation easily, or are you more independent and strong willed? Usually more independent and strong willed

U – Unique

102. Do you do a lot of things because your friends are doing it? Sometimes 103. Do you follow trends, wear whatever you want, or wear really unique pieces? I wear whatever I want unless there’s a dress code 104. Do you give in easily to peer pressure? Do you do things such as smoke, drink, or have casual sex? I usually don’t if it’s dangerous, such as those three. Other things, there’s a chance 105. What makes you different from people your age? I don’t take shit from anyone

V – Value

106. What’s the most expensive thing in your room? My laptop 107. What’s more valuable: your life or the lives of your loved ones? Would you sacrifice your life for other people? This is pretty mean, but probably my own. And no I would not 108. What is something you value not because it cost a lot, but because it means a lot to you? My laptop and phone 109. If there was a fire in your house/apartment, what is the first thing you would grab? My laptop and phone 110. Do you think past memories and experiences are more valuable than what could possibly happen in the future? Yes

W – Wishes

111. If you had three wishes, what would they be? To be happier, more able to support myself alone, and meet more people who are genuine 112. Would you rather wish yourself to be happy, or your loved ones? Myself 113. Do you believe that wishes come true if you really believe in them? Meh 114. Have you ever had a wish come true? If so, what was that wish? Idk 115. Do you find wishing for things a waste of time because everything that’s meant to happen, will happen? Sometimes

Y – You

121. Are you more independent or social? I’m very independent 122. What is something that makes you very mad when you see it? Asymmetry 123. Do you think that you have potential to do great things? Meh 124. Do you think people are born a certain way, or develop their personalities based on what they go through in life? Mostly the latter 125. Do you think people are generally good? Most of the time yes, but there are some horrible people

Z – Zest

126. Are you currently happy with your life? Why or why not? It’s not bad but it could be better 127. Do you go on FacebookCraze.com to get facebook survey’s and quizzes like this one? Nope, just tumblr 128. When change occurs, do you get scared or are you excited for it? Both 129. Do you like to try new things, meet new people? Kind of but also not 130. What is the most motivational thing in the world? Hunger

[malachitelibrary]

Book Review: Chaos Protocols by Gordon White

Starting with pros/cons and final judgement first: 

Pros: 

Has some rituals, incantations, etc

Might be good for those who know absolutely nothing about personal finance. maybe. 

The stuff on ancestor magic, theories on “tricksters/ambivalent spirits”, and city magic are pretty decent 

Cons: 

Information is well-intended, but facts are often straight up WRONG or written SO out of context or with SUCH broad generalizations it doesn’t matter either way 

“I didn’t need my degree (even though I have a film degree which is an industry where you don’t need a degree) so nobody needs a degree” and other wrong sweeping generalizations

“The quickest way into magic is to drug yourself or have a near-death experience. You NEED drugs if you want fast results. Everything except drugs and near-death is very very slow compared to those.” 

“YEAH have you heard of BEING TABOO? I read the Lord’s Prayer backwards and felt so strong!! Breaking taboos is so empowering!!” have you heard of being gay or transgender because 

For how much he builds himself up, the personal finance info is EXTREMELY basic at best.

No sources for rituals he obviously did not make himself

Uses quotes to make a point. (No, quoting someone does not automatically make you right.) 

When sources are cited, they are just for random quotes instead of fact.

Very poorly organized, you should not have to read an informational book multiple times to be able to understand it. 

A “spirit call” to conjure all spirits in a place, with no constraints/limitations on dangerous spirits at all

Judgement: If you are a millennial, you already know everything he is going to tell you in this book, with the exception of the magic rituals. Not even worth the read, even with an extremely critical eye. 

More information: 

This book was supposed  to be a financial magic book. Supposed to be. And I say “supposed to be” instead of “it is” because...

First off, a lot of the information about business/the economy is...completely wrong/irrelevant. It’s been a long time since I read the book so I do not remember exact details, however much of his information on how international economies were set up was....straight up wrong. This is part of where “well- intended message, absolutely WRONG facts” plays in. The message lost in the sea of wrong facts was: the economy sucks and the world in general is inherently unstable. Yes, the economy is shit, the world economy is shit. But as a millennial, we already know that. 

"As someone who had enough money to move to Australia right after getting my college degree AND having enough money to travel the world, here's how you should save money."...What??? 

WHAT KIND OF COLLEGE GRADUATE HAS THE MONEY TO IMMEDIATELY MOVE TO AUSTRALIA??? NOBODY!!!! UNLESS YOU/YOUR PARENTS WERE RICH IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

He makes wide claims like "you don't need a degree ever for any field!!" as he travels to countries that are NOT the US and thus of course view degrees differently (though of course he doesn’t mention that). Also, he has a film degree. Literally a quick google search shows “No you do not need a film degree to make it in the film/media industry” result, after result, after result. 

Just. Those astonishingly wrong sweeping generalizations. 

Bro. As someone who’s attending community college because their parents didn’t/couldn’t save jack shit for University....Nearly half of the students here are fully grown adults. As in, people in the 30-60 range. Do you want to know the most common reasons they came back?? 

“Without a degree, I couldn’t get a good job and was struggling to live , so I saved money and came back.” 

Or “I’m literally not allowed to get a higher/better paying position unless I have a degree.” 

OBVIOUSLY #Not All Fields with the degree, but a large majority of them?? You NEED a degree. Especially positions like manager (of any industry), any scientific/research industries, ALL doctors/dentists. In job opportunities, all else held equal except the degree, the employer will pick the one with the degree. End of story. 

Again, as millennials we KNOW the system is shit. But unless suddenly every single employer ever stops caring about degrees, that’s not going to change. 

Also, the fact that he/his parents was able to afford University in the first place. Definitely shows someone who hasn’t experienced near-poverty due to forces outside of your control (classism).   

Besides the totally wrong and obvious information concerning college degrees, he’s very adamant on dangerous drug use. Legit said something along the lines of “To be a witch you have to drug yourself to the point of near death or experiencing something traumatic. You can do other ways but they suck.” Just drug yourself just for spirituality. Just fucking do it. Just. Oh my god. Become a drug addict for spiritual purposes. (forehead slap).

I have talked to actual spiritual drug users and they have all said that what he claims about drugs being “the quick road to spirituality” is, of course, WRONG. Drugs are not a fast-track. 

 If you want actual, safe and TRUE information on using drugs for spiritual purposes, I highly recommend @spiritvexer ‘s post on it right here. 

Moving on to actual personal finance information, it was very, very "personal finance 101". Like REALLY 101 such as "start a budget". Network. Things anyone with an ounce of personal finance knowledge already knows. For having a lot of unoriginal content and rituals he clearly did not write, he sure doesn't source/reference where they are from. When he sources, it’s just because of a quote he used to make a point instead of being an actual argument lol (No, quoting someone else does not automatically prove you right/more credible).  Additionally, for being a "Chaos Mage" (which I thought...were supposed to be super open-minded towards figuring out new/unique ways of doing magic?) he sure is...not open to multiple methods of doing things. Much of the book was written in ultimatums; "this is the ONLY way to do this, every other way is WRONG." He actively insults other ways of doing magic, such as reblogging sigils on tumblr (I’d give you a page number if I had the book still because he did actually say that. Also there were others but again it’s been a long time since I read).  Also, that whole spiel on "taboo magic". YEAH breaking taboos is soooo empowering....like. My guy. LGBT peeps exist, disabilities exist, mental illnesses exist. Breaking the taboos didn't exactly help them. Just. That entire section is written from a very... “I've never had shit for inherent qualities ever”. Maybe it feels cool for someone who basically had everything handed to them. But to people who cross the "taboo" lines just by existing? That section was almost insulting.

If you still want to get the book at this point, to save you time, I’ll even tell you the actual useful parts of the book: 

-Have multiple sigils representing different parts of a spell, and also a “master” sigil to represent the whole spell

City spirits: Try to become familiar with the spirit of your city and spirits that reside in your city/town, as most opportunities come from where you already live after all. Some offerings/offering actions could be putting coins in fountains, or picking up litter. 

Ambivalent Allies, Fate/Fortune Allies: You want spiritual allies that are used to and adapted for inherent instability. So “trickster” or “traveler” spirits such as Brer Rabbit, Hermes, and the archetype of “the devil at the crossroad” are some good examples. You also want allies that are in charge of fate/fortune/luck, such as the goddess Fortuna.  Ancestor Spirits: Useful because as they were previously humans, they understand human affairs. Being family, they also may have a slight inclination to help you. Also mentions that shitty ancestors were often wiped out/not kept in records as “punishment” so you don’t have to worry about being pressured to work with shitty fam. 

Source: White, G. (2016).Chaos Protocols. Woodbury, MN: Llewellyn .

Overall, not recommended.  If you have an ounce of personal finance skills, and an ounce of creativity in seeing how they could be applied magically, you do not need this book. If you are a millennial, you do not need this book. It is difficult for me to dislike books THIS MUCH but this one managed to do it. 

-----------------------

Disclaimer: This is OBVIOUSLY my opinion and I’m not willing to debate on “why I should love the book instead”. If you want to praise the book, write your own damn post. 

[stormysurveys]

15

A – Accidents

01. Have you ever been in a car accident? + -- Yes.

02. Do you have a lot of scars? + -- A fair amount. I'm sure many hae faded by now, though...

03. Have you ever been in a fist fight with someone? + -- I don't count sparring, but I've had a few close calls. I gave them the opportunity to fight me since they seemed so eager, but they always walked away?? Like, hello, you outnumbered me. Surely the two of you can handle little old me. But oh well I guess.

04. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake? + -- Yes.

05. Have you ever had stitches? Where? + -- Apparently I was supposed to get stitches but nobody ever took me to the hospital, so I had to kind of handle it on my own.

B – Beauty

06. Do you consider yourself beautiful? + -- GOD no lol.

07. Are you self conscious of how you look? + -- Yes.

08. Do you put on a lot of makeup? + -- My skin doesn't tolerate any kind of makeup. I learned to deal without it.

09. Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? + -- The only way to fix what puberty did to my skin is apparently extreme laser surgery. Too bad for me.

10. What do you think makes a person beautiful? + -- A kind heart. Among other things.

C – Consequences

11. What was the longest amount of time you’ve been grounded for? + -- A few weeks. I don't even remember what it was for.

12. What would you do if you got pregnant, keep it or have an abortion? + -- I would get an abortion. It's kinder than having to have me for a parent. Ugh.

13. Do you ever think about how your actions affect other people? + -- Yes.

14. What do you think is the worst punishment someone could give you? + -- Leaving me alone while you go do fun things.

15. What is one thing you wish you didn’t do, just because it wasn’t worth it in the end? + -- There's a lot of things.

D – Dealing

16. When you are mad at someone, how do you show them? + -- I usually let it blow over. It's not worth bringing it up.

17. Name a time when you had to be strong. + -- Losing multiple cats and friends in one year.

18. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting? Any kind of abuse at home? + -- My parents fought a lot, and various other things.

19. When people at school don’t accept you, or have problems with you, how do you react? + -- Deal with it. :| I'm here and you're gonna suck it up.

20. Have you ever lost someone to death? Explain how you got through it. + -- You just move on. I don't think you ever fully get over it.

E – Experience

21. Have you ever had a job? Any volunteer jobs? + -- Yes.

22. Do you think that you are sexually experienced, or not at all? + -- No. There's still so much I don't understand.

23. Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far? + -- I have gone through a lot, but I can't really compare myself to others.

24. Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)? + -- Yes.

25. How old do you act? + -- Hopefully like an adult.

F – Family

26. Is there anyone in your family you don’t talk to? Why? + -- To my knowledge, there's no bad blood between myself and my family. If anything, I pushed everyone away.

27. If you had to choose, family or friends? + -- /shrug

28. Can you tell your parents or one of your parents anything? + -- No.

29. Do you have any siblings? If so, do you ever get jealous of them? + -- No.

30. How often do you spend ‘quality time’ with family members? + -- My entire family lives in the South. I do not.

G – Growing

31. How tall are you? How tall do you wish you were? + -- 5'2" and 3/4". :l I wish I was maybe 5'5" or 5'6

32. Do you think that you have grown more in the past year than any year before that? + -- Maybe emotionally.

33. As a person, do you think you are mature for your age or still act childish? + -- You asked this.

34. Are you scared to think that one day you will turn 30, then 40, then 50? + -- I don't want to, but there's nothing I can do about it.

35. Do you believe you still have a lot to learn? + -- Yes.

H – Hope

36. Love – real or not? + -- It is real.

37. Are you a pessimist of an optimist? + -- Depends.

38. Do you believe in fate, that everything happens for a reason, or do you think that our actions lead the way? + -- A little of both, but I  don't usually rely on "fate".

39. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? + -- I believe in reincarnation.

40. What gives you hope when you just feel like dying? + -- Nothing ever "gave me hope". I just realized that I could get back up in the end. The hardest part was physically making myself do it.

I – Issues

41. Do you suffer from depression or constant sadness/loneliness? + -- Lol, probably. I don't know.

42. Do you have any type of disease or disability? + -- I don't know.

43. Are you currently in a hard relationship or have bad luck with the opposite sex? + -- No.

44. Do you think that you are alone in this world? + -- It really do be like that sometimes.

45. How often do you think about death, suicide or running away? + -- Perhaps more than I ought to.

J – Jokes

46. Say a word or phrase that would not be funny to anyone but you & one of your friends (an inside joke) + -- I got nothin'.

47. Are you usually the one who makes people laugh,Or the other way around? + -- No, I just piss them off with my puns.

48. Do you cry when you laugh hard? + -- It happens.

49. Write down a hilarious moment you had with someone that makes you laugh to this day! + -- Probably. I'm not awake dude.

50. Do you ever get in trouble for laughing or talking a lot during class? + -- No.

K – Knowledge

51. The purpose of school: to learn, to cause trouble or to hang out with friends? + -- You tell me. I couldn't function at school at all. :D

52. Do people refer to you as smart, dumb, or average? + -- People probably think I'm unintelligent. I'll let them think what they want.

53. What was the highest grade you have received (full course mark) ever? + -- I don't know. I don't remember much from those days.

54. What was your last average? This year would you like to maintain it or aim higher?

55. What do you find the most interesting subject to be (to study or to talk about)? + -- Many things! Languages, psychology, history, philosophy, mathematics/logic (moreso on how it applies to the universe than trying to memorize formulae), the arts. ALL THAT HAPPY SHIT.

L – Love

56. Are you currently in love? If not, have you been before? + -- I assume so.

57. Do people around you show you a lot of love (tell you they love you, hug you, kiss you, etc.)? + -- Sure.

58. Is love worth it? + -- I guess if you find the right person, sure.

59. Do you hate it when girls in their young teenage years say they ‘love’ someone that they’ve been dating for a few months? + -- It's ridiculous, but children do what children do.

60. Does it take a lot for you to say you love someone, or is it just a word? + -- I don't like to throw it around. I'd rather show it anyway.

M – Money

61. Do you believe that money makes the world go round? + -- :/ Yes, and I hate it.

62. Is your family on the poor side, average, or above average when it comes to money? + -- My family did not have much money.

63. Are you saving up for college/university, or planning to? + -- I tried, aha. I couldn't live with the idea of putting my parents in more debt than they'd ever owed in their lifetime, even for a small college. So I chose to wait until I was older. Unfortunately I still haven't gone.

64. Would you rather win millions of dollars & be set for life, or find the perfect person to marry & start a family with? + -- Blah blah blah

65. On a scale of 1-10, how important is money to you? + -- It isn't. I need it to survive, but that's about it.

N – Naughty

66. Are you a virgin? + -- No.

67. What do you think about doing sexual things with someone you’re not going out with? + -- I'm not really that kind of person.

68. Do you know anybody you consider a ’slut’? What makes you say that? + -- Eh.

69. If you could, would you erase some things you did in the past or make it so you did more? + -- Probably.

70. Do you consider yourself more nice or more naughty? You can’t say both! + -- Who says I can't say both? I'll say both if I damn well please. But I don't consider myself particularly "naughty". At least not with random strangers.

O – Openness

71. How long does it take for you to open up to someone? + -- Probably too long. Most people walked away before I could.

72. What does it take for you to fully trust someone? + -- I don't think I can.

73. Are you generally untrusting towards people because of past experiences, or any other reason? + -- No, I just don't want anyone to know.

74. When are you comfortable with someone sexually? + -- When I decide I don't care anymore. If they show they genuinely want to be with me, I guess.

75. When it comes to parents and close friends, what’s the limit of what you can tell them? + -- Hmm.

P – Positive

76. Have you ever had an experience with someone that didn’t necessarily end positively? If so, would you rather erase the memory of that person because of the sad times or keep the memory of that person because of the good times? + -- No, I will keep my memories.

77. Do you agree with the saying: better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all? + -- For me, no. I was content before I met my husband and I'd be fine after. But I also prefer being alone most of the time.

78. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? What do you try to be? + -- A bit of both.

79. Do you agree that something good can come out of everything? + -- Possibly.

80. Have you ever had a time where something really bad happened, but something really good happened because of it? If so, please exlain what it was: + -- I'm sure, but I don't want to.

Q – Questions

81. When faced with a problem, do you ask for help or try to figure it out yourself? + -- I try to figure it out for myself first. I always get told "you need to ask for help blah blah". No, I don't. Let me do it on my own.

82. Do you often question the world and how we came about? What are some things you would like to know about creation? + -- I always question how things came about. And I don't know. What came before?

83. Do you think the government is truthful? If you could ask the president one question, what would it be? + -- LOL. I'm too conspiratorial for this survey.

84. When someone does something wrong to you, do you confront them and ask them why they did it or just let it go? + -- If I know them, then I'll bring it up casually or something. Could've been an accident. If I don't know them I might just shrug it off.

85. What is one unsolved mystery about the world that you want answers to? + -- There's a lot.

R – Respect

86. How do you show respect? + -- I treat everyone with politeness.

87. What can someone do for you to lose all respect for them? + -- Prove to me that you are a coward or generally a terrible person I guess.

88. Do you respect your teachers, parents, and other authority figures? + -- If they give me a reason to. I don't give out respect freely. I might do what you ask me, but I will do the bare minimum unless I actuallly care about what you have to say. Give me a reason to respect you, and I will work hard for you.

89. When you are disrespectful to your parents, what is the punishment? + -- My mom can't do anything to stop me. Not that I AM, but she's very old now.

90. If someone is mean to you, are you mean back or do you kill them with kindness? + -- Neither, but it depends on the situation. Like if you straight up hit me, well...

S – School

91. If you are still in school, what grade will you be going into?

92. When will you graduate high school/college? + -- I left years ago.

93. After high school, what did you do/are you planning to do?

94. Do you like or hate school? What do you like/hate about it? + -- I hated school. I couldn't function at all.

95. Have you ever been suspended, expelled, or dropped out of school? + -- I dropped out. After spending ages taking all these makeup classes on top of my regular studies, I had my counselor tell me to my face that I'd be good to go to graduate. And two weeks after school ended, I received a phone call telling me that no, I would not be graduating and that, if I wanted to, I'd have to pay them either $200 or $300 for either summer school or night school. I couldn't afford that, so I just didn't go back and acquired my GED, which was easier and I didn't have to study for it. :/

T – Temptation

96. Have you ever done something wrong, knowing it was wrong, because something inside of you said it was okay? + -- I mean... it's possible?

97. Has anyone ever pressured you to smoke or drink? Did you do it? + -- Nope. I've never smoked and I've no intention to.

98. Did you ever cheat on someone? Why did you do it? + -- My mom cheated on my dad multiple times. I've seen how it slowly tears the other person apart. I would NEVER do that to someone.

99. Did you ever want to do something sexual with someone you didn’t really know or love? What did you end up doing? + -- Not really. I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with this, but my brain doesn't make the jump to "this person looks nice" to "I want to have sex with them" for some reason.

100. Do you give in to temptation easily, or are you more independent and strong willed? + -- In the middle. When it comes to junk food I'm more weak-willed, but other things not so much.

U – Unique

102. Do you do a lot of things because your friends are doing it? + -- Where's the other question? And uhh no?

103. Do you follow trends, wear whatever you want, or wear really unique pieces? + -- I don't pay attention to trends or fashion. There's times that I unintentionally, say, dyed my hair a "trendy" color - but it wasn't on purpose and it didn't stop me from dying my hair.

104. Do you give in easily to peer pressure? Do you do things such as smoke, drink, or have casual sex? + -- No. I rarely ever drink.

105. What makes you different from people your age? + -- I don't know and I don't care.

V – Value

106. What’s the most expensive thing in your room? + -- Probably the electronics.

107. What’s more valuable: your life or the lives of your loved ones? Would you sacrifice your life for other people? + -- The lives of my loved ones. I'd do what I had to do I guess.

108. What is something you value not because it cost a lot, but because it means a lot to you? + -- As far as regular material items, probably the little Stain merch I have. For anything else, it's my husband.

109. If there was a fire in your house/apartment, what is the first thing you would grab? + -- The cat.

110. Do you think past memories and experiences are more valuable than what could possibly happen in the future? + -- Of course. You can always look at them later.

W – Wishes

111. If you had three wishes, what would they be? + -- I dunno. Is there a genie involved? I don't like the idea of someone being enslaved to serve me, so that's out the window. I wouldn't feel right just wishing something out of thin air like that.

112. Would you rather wish yourself to be happy, or your loved ones? + -- Loved ones.

113. Do you believe that wishes come true if you really believe in them? + -- Just go out and do it man. If you sit around wishing you'll just wish your life away.

114. Have you ever had a wish come true? If so, what was that wish? + -- It only "came true" because I forced something to change. I made the necessary sacrifices to make it come true. Nothing more, nothing less.

115. Do you find wishing for things a waste of time because everything that’s meant to happen, will happen? + -- I think it's important to believe in something. But I also believe it's important to actually reach out to make them happen too. It's not just going to drop into your lap.

Y – You

121. Are you more independent or social? + -- Independent.

122. What is something that makes you very mad when you see it? + -- Oh god hahahaha. When they sweep my favorite holiday under the rug to ring in Christmas extremely early all for the sake of cashmoney.

123. Do you think that you have potential to do great things? + -- I don't know. I assume I don't, but I don't really think much about that.

124. Do you think people are born a certain way, or develop their personalities based on what they go through in life? + -- Genes definitely play an impact on a person's mentality and whatnot, but the environment ultimately shapes that.

125. Do you think people are generally good ? + -- "Good" and "evil" feel like really convenient terms to me nowadays. I think people believe that a) they are the hero of their own story, and that b) most people have "good" intentions. Unfortunately, good intentions do not a good person make.

Z – Zest

126. Are you currently happy with your life? Why or why not? + -- No. It's not where I want to be yet.

127. Do you go on FacebookCraze.com to get facebook survey’s and quizzes like this one? + -- No.

128. When change occurs, do you get scared or are you excited for it? + -- I just prepare for it.

129. Do you like to try new things, meet new people? + -- Yes.

130. What is the most motivational thing in the world? + -- When you have no other choice LOL

[drjacquescoulardeau]

VIET THANH NGUYEN – THE REFUGEES - 2017

 This collection of short stories deserves more than just a skimpy desultory look or glance. There is something a lot more global than just anecdotic stories about various Vietnamese refugees in the USA. They are like the smoldering tip of God’s cigarette just before God lowers it onto your skin, into your flesh, just before God lowers it onto the flesh of your newborn baby, or is it going to be its eyes, in front of you, tied up as you are to some unmovable post and your baby hanging from one leg tied up to a beam. These stories are going to be the best ever answer to any ban on immigrants for any reason whatsoever. Refugees are the responsibility of the USA since the USA bombed and destroyed so much in Vietnam, both north and south. We could widen it to all colonial and imperialistic powers, France, Great Britain, Spain, Germany, Portugal, Italy, Belgium, Russia and a few others. They are directly responsible for the flow of migrants that have occurred over the last seventy years or even more. At times these migrations were forced deportation of the colonized or previously colonized people. Just accept to be deported to exploitation and segregation in the motherland to be allowed to survive and help your family survive in the colony or ex-colony. There is always a backlash in history after any crime against humanity and the invasion of countries like Afghanistan or Iraq or Syria, and who knows which one tomorrow, is a crime against humanity.

 The Vietnam war (and the Indochina war before) is a constant reference in this book and you will not be able to understand the tremendous pain in these characters if you forget about it. And what’s more that war (with the other one in the background) was useless, defeated, absurd. The west has been engaged in all kinds of wars in colonies, ex-colonies and other countries in the third world as they call it. Where are the victories? The Falklands (with an English ship sunk by a French missile); Granada; Panama. And then where? The defeats or the non-victories: Korea; Vietnam (and Indochina before); Algeria; Suez; the independence for ALL colonies, except some small islands in the Caribbean Sea, or in the Indian Ocean, or in the southern Pacific Ocean, and a couple in South America. For how long anyway? The assassination of Mosaddegh has led to the mess of today in Iran. The assassination of Lumumba has led to the mess of today in Congo. The bringing down of Saddam Hussein has led to the mess of today in Iraq and Syria. The bringing down of the Talibans has led to the mess of today in Afghanistan. And look at Yemen, Somalia, Sudan and a few other ex-colonies. We manipulated the Arab Spring and look at what it has led to, both the Arab Spring and our manipulation of it. And look at the mess in Libya where we decided to bring down Gadhafi.

This collection of short stories looks at this mess from and through the point of view of some Vietnamese refugees who fled Vietnam either after the French Indochina war or after the takeover of Saigon by the Communists. Quite a few surviving boat people who have managed by pure luck to go through the ocean, the thirst, the hunger, the pirates, the human traffickers, etc. The first story will give you a taste of a boat full of boat people being taken over by pirates: looted first and then all girls taken away probably to bring new flesh to the prostitution rings in some countries like Thailand. At the same time there was a nice young teenager (twelve mind you) and he will be used by all the pirates after killing his elder brother who tried to protect him and before leaving, the boy well used but still alive. Imagine the mess. All that in front of his parents.

 And some in the USA organize extortion rings to get money from those who have managed to get to something in the Vietnamese communities, to open a profitable store or commerce or service. Pay for some fictitious, fantasized guerrilla warfare unit being trained in Thailand to free the Vietnamese motherland. And on that traffic families of eight to twelve people live very decently. That extortion money does not even go where it is supposed to go. And no one will go to the police mind you.

 And then you have these importers of counterfeited goods who have to find some kind of place to store them away since they cannot open any official store: a garage in the home of some Vietnamese chap they can hold by the tail with some charade about being the son of the old man who donated his liver to him. And at the same time the family business of that man is employing a lot of illegal undocumented immigrants from Mexico and Latin America. So a little bit of blackmail on top of it and the underground business can go on. Assuming that it remains discreet.

And the poignant old professor who is being invaded by Alzheimer and starts calling his wife Yen. The jealousy at first and a very slow understanding that the professor is losing his short memory and only keeps his very distant memory, and thus the woman he is living with becomes the girl friend he may have had and he remembers from when he was a teenager, his high school crush for example. And in such a situation there is no guilt, no conscience, no unfaithfulness, just loss of memory and Alzheimer patients have to be “flattered” in their ranting.

 And what about the black pilot who bombed Vietnam from his base in Japan and married a Japanese women and whose daughter decides to go to Vietnam to teach something useful to make up for the crimes of her father’s and she falls in love with a Vietnamese young man and she “becomes” Vietnamese. Imagine the visit of her parents to her in the small place where she works and lives in what is seen by the father as some kind of treacherous act against him and his past that he is not able to criticize since he would have to accept the criminal dimension of his military period. How many people, children, women, pregnant women have his bombs killed?

 And what about a young man who is lost in front of the impossible rootless life he has with a mother who was chosen by his father’s father in an arranged marriage. She is dead now but there was no love lost or wasted in that couple and family. And the father had affairs all his life and is having one more after his wife’s death and that girlfriend, the widow of a senator, does not even realize that man will cheat on her because he cannot but cheat. And the son was married but his wife, Sam, wanted a child and he was not sure he wanted one, lost as he was in his rootless family. So the wife goes away and gets a quick divorce and the young man finds out a few months later that she is pregnant. She had managed him so that he made her pregnant without him knowing. Easy, isn’t it, in these days of pills that you can just forget and condoms that are not used in a married couple that lives that kind of pill-taking ritual.

The last story is the most surprising. It is centered on a girl Phuong and her parents, plus two brothers. The mother is the father’s second wife because his first wife left with the first three children while the father, a shoe factory owner, was being reeducated after the fall of Saigon. He named the second batch of three children with the same names as the first batch. The story becomes fascinating when the first daughter, the daughter of the exiled mother called Vivien in their Chicago context, announces her visit. You can imagine the brutality of the confrontation of the fate of a refugee in the USA who lives the hard life of a poor working class girl who is spending her severance allowance from the job she has been fired from, to visit her father just for some nostalgic and slightly perverse reason; with the would-be refugee-dream of the Vietnamese daughter, Phuong, who only dreams of going to the USA, in her poor conditions of little means, crowded apartment, nearly compulsory, at least unescapable, jobs, and other limitations due to the poverty of the country that invest in tourism to make western tourists more or less cry or empathize on the lot of Vietcong soldiers who won the war by living in underground tunnels. Claustrophobia in these tunnels and agoraphobia when coming out in some public place not recommended. The end of the story will leave you puzzled. Is Phuong getting rid of her emigration dream or is she deciding to do it on her own and with no help from her half-sister in Chicago who had anyway said she could not get bothered with a sister in her very precarious financial situation.

 That’s the type of feeling and experience the famous travel ban executive orders were playing with as if it were just some superficial and valueless anecdotic folklore. There is such a lack of empathy in a man like Trump that this book should be treated by us like a bible of the world of tomorrow that will have to accept and recognize the reality of our past and present, and particularly that our past crimes require some sharing because we have to repair and because sharing should always have been the basic human value, not humanoid motto for the rich.

 Dr. Jacques COULARDEAU