#god okay ive said way too much bye

[spideysbruh]

happier than ever

a/n- love shawn, but he was a lil bitch for a while LMAOOO

~

y/n just posted a story!

caption- my love 😍😍

@y/n just tweeted- dave franco is a different type of fine in now you see me 😩

@ynsmuse replied- IT RHYMES WITH GRAPE.. it rhymes with grape 😔😔

@ynssweet replied- no literally he's so cute

@y/n replied to @ynssweet- LIKEEEE he can perform any illusion he wants on me idccc

@y/n just tweeted- sexiest movie of the year might be Dune tbh... literally just bc oscar isaac is naked and in distress... and then his Hot Son has to take over. can't wait for part two!!!

@dunetimmy replied- YESSS YOU GET IT

@laurieslaurence replied- what did you think of timmys performance

@y/n replied to @laurieslaurence- oh he's amazing. everything he's been in ive enjoyed so so much !!

@shawnmendes just tweeted- "There is a distinct, awful pain that comes with loving someone more than they love you" — Steve Maraboli

@yndefensesquad replied- boy bye- he always does this bs

@shawnyn replied- you're doing wayyy too much bro😭😭

@ynsjacket replied- she's always talked a lot on here to us... don't act surprised ? 😭

@ynssabs replied- is he a child 💀

@ynsshoes replied- she's gotta be tired of shawn's insecurity atp 😭😭 god forbid she has a celeb crush 🙄

@ynshawn replied to @ynsshoes- or god forbid someone wants their girlfriend to be loyal

@ynsheadphones replied to @ynshawn- loyal ?!?!!! girl she's not out there sucking their dicks, be so fucking fr 💀💀 just cause they're celebs doesn't mean they still can't think someone is attractive

liked by tchalamet, rachelzegler and 3,177,388 others

y/n 🌦🌦

view all 34,377 comments

shawnmendes do u need a jacket

y/n where's yours at?

busyyn no way he said that 💀

finesseyn hello????

ynscurtains y/n girl STAND UPPPPPP LEAVE HIM

ynslipgloss this picture has changed the trajectory of my life btw

amyxlaurie she has timothée chalamet liking her posts and she's still w mr canadian 😭😭😭 get yourself a french man !!!

loveryn HE CAN LITERALLY TREAT YOU BETTERRRRRRRR 🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶

tchalamet liked

rachelzegler HOT SEXY BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS

ynbilliestan @shawnmendes is it so hard to do this ???

@y/n just tweeted- I'm actually a big believer in being mean to men. Especially if they give you sooooo many reasons for it.

@billieyn replied- every day he does or says some shit that pisses me off even more. props to you girl.

@exesyn replied- DUMP HIM PLEASE

@lunchyn replied- we got your back girl fuck him 😭

@souryn replied- you deserve better...

liked by y/n and 982,277 others

shawnmendes !!! new song out tonight

view all 23,287 comments

lostinshawn yall are too cute

ynscat how has she been w him for three years, she can do sm better!!!!

shawnswoods his promo is always so bad 😭😭💀

y/n heyyy it's me

ynsdefender lowkey feel like he uses her for likes... hate to say it but 💀

ynsbeatbox i agree!! he never posts her otherwise 😭😭

liked by tchalamet, billieeilish and 3,165,726 others

y/n what really matters

view all 54,277 comments

nonsenseyn did you and shawn FINALLY break up pls say yes omg

shawnmendes love you

ynsmuse he didn't even like the post what da hell

ynsdove she didn't like his comment either 💀

featheryn GAG HIMMMMMMMMM DROP HIMMMMM DATE LITERALLY ANYONE ELSEEEE

rachelzegler i love you ❤️

y/n i love you more 🥺🫶🫶

rachelzegler should we kiss?

@ynupdates just tweeted- RECENTLY ‼️‼️ While Shawn Mendes was meeting fans, he let it slip that he is now single. Him and y/n have seemingly broken up after a 3 year relationship.

@monayn replied- FINALLY GIRL DAMN

@huffleyn replied-good for her he's a loser

@snlyn replied- three years.... I hope she's okay :(

@ynsdress replied- "let slip" girl yk he said that shit on purpose so ppl start talking ab him and that shitty ass song he released a couple months ago don't pmo

@ynsblanket replied- the way no one gaf ab shawn 💀😭😭

@shawnmendes just tweeted- I didn't want to make it a whole big thing. But yes, me and Y/n broke up a few months ago. I have seen so many horrible accusations about me, basically saying I was a shitty boyfriend. Me and y/n loved each other, it was simply time for our relationship to end. That's it. That's the full story, to say it was because of anything else is just ignorant.

@ynsback replied- y/n is too classy to respond, so we'll never rly know the full story 😭 but we all saw how you acted w her...

@shawnfan replied- we love you!!!

@ynsheadphones replied- omg he sucks.

liked by tchalamet, yourfriend and 3,277,388 others

y/n give me a day or two to think of something clever...

comments on this post have been limited

tchalamet love that song

liked by y/n

liked by y/n, kidcudi and 3,277,388 others

tchalamet 😝😝

view all 92,277 comments

chalshal bro posted this for y/n for SUREEE 💀💀

afteryn bros trying to be mysterious and nonchalant sooo bad 💀

dunesarrakis he's so cuteeee

~~~

liked by tchalamet, sabrinacarpenter and 2,029,327

y/n in new york, you can try things

view all 99,929 comments

tchalamet who took this picture you look so cute

y/n some really weird dude idfk

chappellyn DID YALL SEE THOSE PAPARAZZI PICS

fasttimesyn WE'RE OUT OF THE TRENCHES FINALLYYY

dontsmileyn how a boyfriend SHOULD act.... @ sh*wn

lookingatyn new york.... timothée... HMMMMM

tchalamet just posted a story!

caption- 🏞

@chalametupdates just tweeted- Timothée and Y/n L/n seen recently walking around New York City by fans.

@slimyn replied- BOOM SHAKALAKA YES LORDDDDD

@timmysgreeneyes replied- stop they're so cute

@laurieslaurence replied- MY PARENTSSSS

@ynslaurie replied- SUCHHHHHH an upgrade from shawn ugh thank god

liked by y/n and 3,276,837 others

tchalamet like a rolling stone

view all 111,929 comments

y/n wowzers

liked by tchalamet

tchalamet y'know what, hell yeah

y/n my favorite actor, singer, basketball player, ARTISTTT

liked by tchalamet

bilabyn i love seeing y/n in love

timmysgreeneyes so excited for this movieee

y/n just posted a story!

caption- 💤

liked by y/n, zendaya and 2,777,388 others

tchalamet 👩🏾‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻

view all 98,277 comments

junoyn the emoji 💀💀💀💀

ynsbeatbox soooo refreshing to see her w someone who isn't afraid or ashamed to post about her

ynscat the way shawn would've neverrrrrr posted that second pic 💀 he seemed so conservative it was weird

liked by tchalamet, rachelzegler and 3,377,838 others

y/n pretty, four time golden globe nominated boy

view all 101,377 comments

tchalamet i love you

tchalamet how did i get so lucky

ynshoodie iktrrrr

timmyxyn mbn to show off your man who's actually talented and gives the same energy as you

tchalamet just posted a story!

caption- early mornings 🌄 😍😍

liked by 781,287 people

shawnmendes changed man. out now.

view all 3,277

lonesomeyn BYEEE

sabxyn bro thinks going out to the forest will make him a better person 💀💀

lauriejo the likes 💀💀💀 the comments 💀💀💀💀💀💀

pauldune can somebody PLEASE lmk if the song is good 😭

ynbillie be fr 💀

yndefender the lyrics are so... she doesn't want you bro 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

tchalamet just posted a story!

caption- 😍😍😍😍😍🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🥰🥰🥰🤭🤭🤭🤭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️👩🏽‍🤝‍👨🏻

@y/n just tweeted- L O L. I'm the happiest ive ever been. let's just leave it at that. happier than ever !!!!!!

@spideyyn replied- it's disgusting to see how he's using yalls relationship for clicks and streams almost two years later, he knows ppl will start talking again

@dreamyn replied- im sorry that he's milking ts. he's so fucking weird

@hummingbirdyn replied- AND I DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT YOU ON THE INTERNET NEVER TOLD ANYONE ANYTHING BADDDDDDD 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

y/n just posted a story!

caption- i think i got an ex but i forgot himmm

liked by tchalamet, yourfriend and 4,277,837 others

y/n i think you're gonna change my plans

view all 201,277 comments

tchalamet hold on im trying spell gorjos

y/n liked

staryn WITH THOSE EMERALDDDD EYES

finneas im honored

tchalamet we take the best pictures of each other

butteryn i love seeing her in a healthy relationship, where the feelings are reciprocated 🥺😭😭

tchalamet so do i

tearyn HELLO ?!!

liked by y/n, zendaya and 4,727,288 others

tchalamet yeah, no big deal, just the hottest girl in the world loves me.

comments on this post have been limited

y/n who is she 👿

liked by tchalamet

y/n i know an office quote when I see it

liked by tchalamet

tchalamet yeah cause we just finished watching that ep

y/n i love you more than anything

liked by tchalamet

y/n did you only give me permission to comment 💀💀😭😭😭

tchalamet ....yeah. 😁😁😁

*

[king-crawler]

HEY HI HELLO

Sorry for the random message here In the asks, it's ok if you don't see this or answer it since you probably got a lot already and I understand if you don't see this!/gen

But first of all, I just wanna say

I CANT BELIEVE I HAVENT WATCHED YOUR ANALYSIS VIDEO SOONER IM SO FUCKING LATE MAN

It's so well done and so fucking funny, I was literally smiling and cackling through the whole thing, it's shocking how similar our humor is

NOT TO MENTION THE END SCENE AREE YOU KIDDING HOW DID YOU MATCH THE LYRICS SO PERFECTLY TO THE FUCKING LORE ITS INCREDIBLE 😭💜/GEN, POS

It's insane how much dedication is put into it, let alone singlehandedly feeding turbo fans as myself

Genuinely thought it's so nice seeing more content for a hyperfixation I've had since 2012, and the fandom coming back along with this video Genuinely brings me so much joy as someone who's loved this movie since I was a kid

Sorry for the ramble but genuinely thank you for making that video, I can't wait to see what other stuff you do, wreck it ralph or not I WILL be tuning in/gen, pos

Okay second of all

The main reason why I'm sending this is because of sometning I noticed while rewatching a scene in the movie

Now, this might be me over analyzing as I usually do but it feels TOO. OBVIOUS.

SO

IN the kart bakery scene where vanellope and ralph go to bake a kart, they obviously make their way into the building and into the main room

You see all the Karts of course, and It pans to the one vanellope chooses

Which, at first glance you wouldn't really pay too much attention, especially when watching it for the first time, she's just picking the model she likes

..but looking back at the scene

Vanellope's kart model, how it was supposed to look, looks very

Familiar

Because the kart she chose..

...is a red and white kart

With stripes down the middle, with a very similar shape to a..certain persons kart. Now this might just be nothing, it's probably just like I said, and over analysis on my part

But the kart the chose looks WAY too similar to turbo's, not to mention the stripe is down the middle, just like turbo's car on the cabinet art of him

And vanellope could've chosen ANY kart

But it was that specific kart she chose, out of any of the karts

Not to mention in some of vanellope's concept art...

(Art made by Lorelay Bove)

..Vanellope's concept design and turbos designs strike SCARILY uncanny resemblances to each others designs

From the helmet and colors

All the way down to her GOGGLES having the SAME. YELLOW. TINT. that candy's have in the movie, which have the same effect here. There's no way that this didn't have the intent to mirror turbo purposefully

So with that in mind, the kart vanellope chose in the kart bakery scene being turbo foreshadowing, wouldn't be too out of place, nor would it be too far off

Turbo's foreshadowing was always prominent, even in the smallest details you wouldn't focus on, just like he's infecting this world as a virus, little by little, everywhere. You. Turn.

Aaaand that's basically all I have to really say

Sorry for the long ramble, I've been thinking of submitting this for awhile now, especially after I told a friend about this and they mentioned that this should be submitted to you

So I decided to go ahead and just do it, no matter how wild my comparisons might sound-

Anyways, I hope you have a good day, night, or what time it may be, and keep being awesome! I can't wait to hear back if you see this! Bye-bye! ❤️🏎🏆

P.s

I've been quoting these since I watched the video and haven't stopped

Thanks for destroying my humor even more-/pos

Okay bye bye now-

-skitters away-

NO YOU'RE SO FUCKING RIGHT OH MY GOD VANELLOPE WAS ALWAYS A TURBO PARALLEL??? CHAT IS THIS TRUE. IVE NEVER SEEN THAT CONCEPT ART OF HER TEEHEE THANKS FOR SHARING

also God. This is 99% just a coincidence with zero merit because its such a common gesture- but Ralph and Vanellope doing their thumbs up.. maybe Turbo parallels ?? and like the EXACT same poses too:

Vanellope having one hand on the steering wheel and the other doing a thumbs up while facing the camera.

Ralph hunched over doing the double thumbs up with the visor tinting his face yellow. EXCUSE ME HMMM?? WHAT THE FUCK??

NOW COULD I BE CHERRY PICKING? PERHAPS. but when Turbo has barely a minute of screentime, there's not a lot i can pick from, and things SURE ARE LINING UP... (I'm cherry picking)

SO SHHHHHH... ❤️❤️❤️❤️ LET ME HAVE MY LITTLE CONSPIRASCY

[navybrat817]

OMG NAVYYY HII HOW ARE YA😭😭😭 ever since i watched seb's scene in ghosted ive been so... well... there's no way to say this diplomatically but anyways it got me thinking- you know god spends a lot of time waiting.. for his targets or sum shit.. he must get... bored(wink wink) ya know??? so maybe sometimes his gf comes along with him.. to keep him company.. in that car😏😏😏 and i dont think i need to say anything else you can work ur magic✨✨✨

ANYWAYS BYE LOVE YOU ❤️

Not too bad, nonnie! Hope you're well and hope you enjoy this.

Gentle Sin

Pairing: God the Bounty Hunter x Female Reader Summary: You keep God company. Word Count: Over 1.05k Warnings: S/mut, c/ockwarming, p/ossessive behavior, talk of v/iolence, God the Bounty Hunter (he's a warning, okay?) A/N: Um. This was unexpected! Happy Sinday, lovelies? 🔥 Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. ❤️ Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

It wasn't unusual for God to hide in vehicles or other places to track and collect whatever criminal or individual he was responsible for. The private agent possessed a certain level of patience suited for his job. It didn't mean he always enjoyed waiting, even when the payoff was more than enough. Which is why you were only half surprised when you got a message to meet him in the back of some random car.

"Come keep my cock warm, Angel."

It wasn't a suggestion and his demands weren't something for you to ignore.

"You know one of the things I love about you? You act as if this isn't where you belong, but your pussy knows exactly who she belongs to."

Fucking traitor.

You breathed in and out slowly through your nose as two of his fingers slid across your tongue. He hardly spoke a word when you showed up in the darkened parking lot, both of you careful not to draw too much attention to yourselves as you shuffled around in the backseat. He didn't have to tell you to lose the panties. They were gone the moment he reached out. 

"Did you know there are two main reasons why it's painful for people to wait for things?" he asked, changing the subject.

Loves the sound of his own voice.

"Mmm," you replied, unable to say anything with his fingers pushing deeper into your mouth. What would he do if you bit them? You could figure that out another day.

"One reason is the unknown. They don't know what's coming and they can't stand it," he said, rolling his hips beneath you. Your warm pussy didn't seem to distract him from his mission, the gun in his other hand ready for him to use. "The other is dealing with something they don't want to deal with in the first place."

You moaned when he brought his mouth to your neck and dragged it along your skin, the light scratch from scruff bringing goosebumps to the surface. Every sound you made, every clench of your wet walls fueled his ego. The sin he carved into you was gentle in comparison to the wrath you knew he unleashed on others.

You were special in his eyes. 

"You think you know what's coming, Angel, but I have a surprise for you," he said as he removed his fingers.

"And what's that?" you asked, wondering if he planned on using his ring tonight. "Me coming on your cock and you coming inside me? Not much of a surprise."

Was it too much to admit you loved how he filled you to the brim? That you craved when he spilled hot and thick inside you and claimed every inch of you as his? But you carried power, too. Your cunt did wonders on this man and it was a weapon you enjoyed wielding.

He brought his wet fingers under your skirt with a grunt, seeking out your clit with an expert touch. You didn't have to see the smirk on his face when you arched your back to know it was there. It was a look engraved in your mind the moment he made you his. "That's not the unknown. We already knew the night would end like that because I always get you off."

Cocky bastard. I get you off, too.

"Then what is it?" you asked, whimpering as he teased your bundle of nerves. Your essence soaked the curls as the base of his cock at this point as he tapped the glass with the gun. 

"Your ex-boyfriend skipped bail," he answered, his voice softer and deeper than before. "I don't have to tell you his name and I better not hear you say it."

You managed not to shriek when he pinched your clit, a ripple of pleasured pain causing your toes to curl. You knew exactly who he was talking about and it was one of the reasons he was your ex. Funnily enough you'd end up with someone who is both worse and better. "God, is that why you wanted me here?"

He had no lesson to teach you because you did nothing wrong.

"Partially why. You'll worship no one else before me and I want you to remember that," he said, tapping the glass again like he wasn't playing you like a finely tuned instrument. You wanted to point out you didn't even know the bounty hunter when you dated your ex, but you bit your tongue. "And I have to wonder if I'll shoot my load into you before or after I shoot him."

Was he going to kill him for merely skipping bail? Wasn't he supposed to bring him in alive? Why did the thought scare you and turn you on?

You gripped his arm for purchase when your body began to shake. During one of his ramblings to you, he mentioned he attuned his senses to everything around him. The orgasms he pulled from you proved that and you understood where some of his confidence came from at least. He also knew how to keep you on the edge without sending you over. 

God, just let me finish. 

"My beautiful, wet angel. Does that get you off? Knowing I want to shoot someone just because they touched you?" he lightly taunted, pressing an affectionate kiss against your shoulder. "Wasn't the tune you sang when I shot your partner, but I changed that, didn't I?"

"Don't talk about him," you snapped.

"Still sore about me doing my job?"

You shut your mouth. You couldn't fault him for that, but it was bad enough you willingly slept with the guy who killed your partner. Would good sex ease your guilty conscience?

"Well, your ex has no idea what's going to happen and he doesn't want to face his crimes. Too fucking bad," he said, pulling his fingers away as you teetered on the edge. "And I want him to see what it's like for a god to take you apart. I want him to see you're mine now. Then I'll take him in. After shooting him for good measure."

He shoved his fingers back in your mouth before you could respond. 

"That's it. Taste your sin on my fingers. Plenty more where that came from before the night is through."

I couldn't help myself! Love and thanks for reading. 💙

Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[orviposition]

can you list out some of the unhinged things sp has done? im re-reading orv rn and it just genuinely amazes me how seriously i took this guy when his arc came about XD prior to that he was just the silly chill dude that sent weird silly messages lol

sp enjoyer pipeline be like: hehe silly guy -> wow thats terrifying -> he's pathetic actually <3 -> oh he's so sad 😢 -> he's so pathetic <3 -> good for him honestly -> he's so pathetic-

i will try my best to list as many things that i remember but also note that im aware not every message kdj received was sent by him as opposed by the kkomas but i Might overlook some of these since the kkomas are part of him too

sp was shown to like kdj at his most wicked, as he calls it, just for him to call him pathetic in front of yjh. it's okay beloved ik this was crucial to your character development

he finds the idea of yjh impregnating kdj to be ridiculous and then sponsors kdj 600 coins (yes ive checked)

speaking of sponsorships that one time he basically mocked the constellations of silla by sponsoring kdj the coins that mjw was trying to give to kdj lol he's a shit disturber at heart (his 666th turn exists after all)

he also congratulated kdj when he became sys's sponsor (isnt he cute) and then kdj went on a tangent about how theres no way sp is ordinary cuz no glucose guardian can possibly be weak and ordinary regardless of the simple titles

he can comfort a sad swk and gossip about joongdok to uriel (well probably kkomas but REGARDLESS theres at least one kkoma thats a fudanshi. thats enough for me)

he crashed the constellation banquet like it was nothing. shit disturber as i said

when fourth wall is deactivated briefly, sp 'snaps' at the outer gods/great ones trying to spy on kdj while simultaneously spying on kdj himself

he sacrificed his fingers in order to save kimcom and when kdj tried to "rebel" like !!what if i dont do what you want? he went i still have more fingers left. like kdj bestie ur not winning an argument against him rn

he showed up in white, a color yjh very much "detests" and kidnapped kdj in front of yjh. not only that but he also mocked yjh's powerlessness while he was at it. it's the way the only reason sp hates this version of yjh is bcs he has kdj and he didnt for me

he's created 1.8k+ chibi dolls of himself

next is the 2nd kidnapping. can you call it unhinged if one of your exes shows up at your door and she immediately realizes that theres someone you desperately want to protect even after ruining so many worldlines?? idk tis up to yall

when he mentioned to poseidon that he has already killed him 25 times just for shits and giggles and then proceeded to kill him again

when astronaut yjh was abt to die and sp shows up like "bitch u wish for that luxury" "anw this will be the last time i save your weakass cuz unlike you i actually got a kdj to take care of. bye lmao"

anw this got longer than i anticipated but here it is. my lil list of sp's unhinged moments. im pretty sure I've missed a few here and there but this guy is mentioned like 800 times in the novel and i dont have the patience to look through it all without getting distracted

[1d1195]

Therapy IV

I didn't think I'd be writing a part four for this Therapy series if it wasn't for this message, thank you so much to this lovely anon.

Warnings: 18+ topics mentioned, jealous Harry

“My God, you’re beautiful,” she spun around and smiled at Harry approaching her much like the last time. “Y’really gonna be the death of me in this dress, kitten."

Hey, kitten, how’s your day? xx

The smile that popped onto her face made her stomach flutter at the same time as she opened her message from Harry. All she could think about was his sweet-dimpled face and his pretty eyes. Texting him at lunch time had become a routine for them. A quick check-in to get each other through the rest of the day.

It’s good, how’s yours?

It feels long. I want to go home and watch a movie with you.

She shamelessly giggled at her phone while she responded. Same here. I think it’s your turn to pick.

Well, I don’t actually plan on watching it, so I’ll let you pick. I just want to look at you and kiss you and stuff.

And stuff?

Good stuff, I promise. xx

She felt her cheeks warm even though no one was around her. I like the way you think, Harry.

Her phone rang instead of his response to her. “Hi,” Harry said cutely.

She giggled. “Hi.”

“I jus’ wanted t’say that no one in my past relationships ever really called me Harry,” he said. “So I like when you use it.”

“Hmm,” she hummed with a grin. “That’s cute,” she giggled.

“Don’t make me blush.”

“Hey love,” It was so shocking that Harry felt like his whole body stopped it’s auto-functioning. He was certain he stopped breathing. It felt like his heart nearly exploded out of his chest at the sound of someone else calling her “love.”

“Hold on one second,” she said to the phone. Harry wanted to die that she was going to respond.

“Oh sorry,” the voice said. Harry was bristling with anger at the interruption.

“It’s okay, what’s up?” Harry didn’t like that she thought it was okay that he was interrupting their phone call.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, I know you’re on your lunch,” Harry wished he could see him. He also wished to strangle him, but through the phone he knew it wouldn’t be possible. “But it’s an absolute shitshow in this meeting right now. We can’t add two numbers together to save our lives and we’re about to make your job a whole lot harder if you don’t help us soon.”

“Leave it to you to call on the accountant for math help—I appreciate you trying to make my job easier.”

“Who else would I ask, love?” He chuckled. Again, Harry was nearly sweating with how angry he was.

“I’ll be one minute,” she said and then to Harry she sighed. “M’sorry, Harry. I have to go.”

Trying to contain how frustrated he was by something that was not her fault was next to impossible. But he thought he managed well given the circumstances of how he was really feeling. “Oh, s’alright. I’ll see y’at home, kitten.”

“Bye, Harry. Love you,” she said it so sweetly Harry almost forgot that he was grumpy.

“I love you, too, baby,” he managed to respond feeling the anger slowly melt away because his love for her was so encompassing he couldn’t feel mad when he was thinking about her, let alone when all he felt was love for her.

But the second she was no longer at the other end of the phone call he was all out of sorts. It had nothing to do with her. Everything he felt was in direct response to the mystery male voice that called her love. She wasn’t his love. She was Harry’s and that was it. Harry knew she was being polite. For fuck’s sake he called most people he knew love. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary and it wasn’t wrong to do it.

But he didn’t like it one bit that someone at work, with whom she spent a large chunk of time with each day, called her some pet name. What was worse, Harry knew it wasn’t the first time he called her love, and it wasn’t going to be the last. Maybe if he was significantly older Harry wouldn’t care. But until Harry knew who it was, he was going to writhe in anxiety and simmer in anger.

Immediately after, Harry cancelled his final appointment—one that wasn’t dire, so he didn’t feel too bad for his client. He also knew he would be no help if he attempted to talk and listen with him. His mind was set on one thing, and he was lucky he had enough brain power left to drive himself home without crashing from lack of attention. It didn’t stop him, however from throwing himself a pity party all the way back to their shared apartment, sulking in how mad and grumpy he felt.

On a regular day, Harry typically got home after her so he never really got a chance to spoil her by doing the little things she always took care of without so much as a question of whether it would be done or not. He threw the laundry in the washer and reloaded the dishwasher so he could get started on dinner. He didn’t really know what to make but he figured if she didn’t have to think about it, that would be nice so he settled on one of her favorite pasta dishes that Harry loved to make for her.

He heard the door open about an hour and a half after he got in. He was sitting on the stool at the breakfast bar reading his book while minding the food cooking in front of him. “Hey kitten,” he called gently.

“You got home early!” She said with delight, and he was again so affronted by how much he adored her as she all but ran from taking her shoes off and hurrying to his side. He turned on the little stool and she pushed herself between his thighs wrapping her arms around his neck as she nuzzled against his body. He once again nearly forgot he was mad. He kissed the side of her head and rubbed his hand up and down her back.

“Cancelled with m’last client,” he murmured into her hair.

She sighed contentedly and nodded against his chest. “How nice,” she mumbled into his shirt.

“How was the rest of your day?” He asked.

“It was fine...um...we’re having a company party next Friday night. It’s at this fancy club and I’m allowed to bring you, so I wanted to know if you’d like to come.”

“I always like coming with you, kitten,” he said flirtatiously.

“Shush,” she giggled and shook her head against his shirt. Harry chuckled and kissed the side of her head.

“Of course, m’love,” he said quietly. He felt the anger return once he realized he wasn’t the only one calling her love anymore. “Y’said it’s fancy. Can I request y’wear that dress y’wore to the birthday dinner?”

“I’d be okay with that,” she giggled. “You sure that’s a good idea?”

Harry combed her hair away from her ear and pressed another kiss to her temple and nodded. “Can always sneak y’off into the bathroom,” he hummed into her ear. She shivered against him, and she shook her head.

“Don’t tempt me,” she mumbled.

“I believe that dress has a slit up y’leg that I like very much,” he responded. “Would be easy enough.”

“Stop,” she said. “Don’t turn me on if dinner is going to be ready soon. I’m hungry,” she reminded him.

He chuckled. “Yes, kitten,” he said and released her from the hug he had held her captive in for the last few moments. “It’ll be ready soon, go do whatever it is y’do when m’not here,” he said.

She wandered down the hall toward the bathroom as she called back to him. “You mean run around naked?”

“Now who’s tempting who?”

*

She noted that Harry had seemed much clingier over the week. Instead of their daily texting conversation around lunch time, he started video chatting with her instead. “Just miss your face,” he said.

She smiled at him and felt her face warm at his assessment. She liked it though. Everything about Harry made her feel so loved and adored. Being with him as a roommate was almost no different than being his girlfriend, save for, he was much touchier, there were more kisses, and of course there were a lot more orgasms. “I miss you too,” she said.

It was true. If she could, she would spend every minute with Harry. She was certain she would never get sick of him. She hoped that she wasn’t clingy, but Harry never had anything less than a smile. Even their arguments were silly—there wasn’t anything to argue about because everything was near perfect. (There was one time there was bug and Harry chased her around the whole apartment with it between his fingers until she cried—that caused quite a tiff but nothing a few kisses from him couldn’t fix.)

But Harry was rarely clingy. She had to be careful because the last thing she wanted to do was to overwhelm him. Seeing Harry acting clingy though...well it was nice. It was different and she liked the fact that she wasn’t the only one obsessed in the relationship. But it did make her wonder why he was acting this way. But not enough to ask.

Much like her friend’s birthday dinner, Harry was going to meet her at the party after he got out of work. In the same fashion as the day of the dinner, she waited outside patiently for Harry before entering.

“Hey, you coming in, or are you just going to stand out here all night?” It was her coworker as she headed up the steps to get inside.

She let out a breath of laughter. “Maybe,” she said sarcastically. “I’m just waiting on my boyfriend.”

“Oooh, the infamous boyfriend. Gonna break a lot of hearts in there tonight,” she said knowingly.

Tilting her head at her she blinked in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, surely you know that everyone in the office is in love with you,” she rolled her eyes.

Her jaw fell open a bit and she blinked slowly. “I’m sorry?”

“You’re hot, you’re smart, you’re nice, you’re exactly the type of girl these guys want to take home to mom,” she rolled her eyes. “They’re all hoping your boyfriend isn’t real.”

Feeling her face flush red, she didn’t really know what to say in response to that. “You’re joking,” she whispered instead.

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry. It’ll be fine. Probably just a dick measuring contest. Although if I’m to believe social media, sounds like your boyfriend will win if he’s a sex therapist. Sorry for snooping but us ladies have to stick together,” she said. Seeing that didn’t quell the worry on her friend’s face she smiled gently. “Hey, I’m only kidding. Really, it’s totally fine. They’re all just jealous you’re taken, is all.”

Rolling her lips into her mouth she shook her head. “Maybe I shouldn’t go in,” she said.

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. You look incredible. You can’t not go in. It will be fine. You don’t have to stay long if it because a real issue. I’m sure your boyfriend can fend off a few finance bros,” she said knowingly. She pressed a hand on her upper arm when she still didn’t manage to assuage her fears. “Really, it’ll be okay. I’m sorry to have upset you.”

“No, it’s not your fault. I’m sorry. I know, I know. It’ll be fine. I’m just being dramatic.”

She smiled sweetly. “If you need help just send me a smoke signal and I’ll come up with an emergency,” she winked. “You’ll be fine. Please introduce me to your boyfriend I have a few bedroom questions for him,” she wiggled her eyebrows at her suggestively once more and fortunately that did make her laugh as she waved and headed inside.

Alone with her thoughts she paced slightly in front of the entry way. She looked at the menu posted outside the door in hopes of distracting herself. Reading the different entrees didn’t help much; in fact, she strongly considered calling Harry she wasn’t feeling well. Then, he wouldn’t come to the club, and they could just go spend their date night at home instead. It wasn’t that she believed they were all in love with her, that wasn’t something her humble self could imagine. But what she did believe: it would be entirely cruel to Harry to make him suffer through an evening that she anticipated being a fun date night where she could show off how cute he was when other guys were supposedly looking at her longingly.

“My God, you’re beautiful,” she spun around and smiled at Harry approaching her much like the last time. “Y’really gonna be the death of me in this dress, kitten,” Harry said wrapping an arm around her waist and kissed her cheek in greeting. “Did y’have a nice day?” He asked scanning over her whole body. His smile grew as he looked her over. It was amazing he had no idea about the apparent tumult that was about to ensue if she walked in there.

“Yeah,” she said and her eyes also, shamelessly, scanned Harry up and down. “You look...” she sighed and her smile grew on her face by the second. “Maybe we will end up in the bathroom.”

He chuckled and shook his head. “Don’t make it hard fo’ me t’walk in there, love,” he murmured in her ear and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. “Let’s go show off this dress before I rip it off you.”

*

Harry wondered if she knew everyone was looking at her. Harry was introduced to every one of her coworkers and they nearly paid no mind to him at all as they took in her ethereal being. The only one that paid any attention to him was her female coworker that had no less than fifteen questions about the bedroom. He took each one in stride because it was his corner of the world and he loved sharing his knowledge and advice about how to make things better.

“Well now that we’re close Harry, what can you tell me about stimulating the g-spot?”

“Jesus Christ,” she said putting a hand over her eyes. “Why don’t you take his card,” she laughed. “I’m going to lose my mind,” she said.

Harry chuckled and smirked. “I like your questions,” he promised her. “They’re good ones,” he assured her. “Sounds like you have a healthy bedroom life,” he winked at her.

“I like him,” she whispered to the sweet girl in the beautiful dress but obviously Harry could hear. “Bring him any time,” she said and gave her arm a squeeze and mumbled something in her ear before she flitted away to start some other conversation. Harry didn’t pay much attention to whatever she mumbled.

“She’s fun,” Harry remarked as they headed toward the bar to get another drink. Harry liked the way she held his upper arm as they walked. He loved having her attached to his arm; he thought they must have looked like the classiest power couple.

Harry wasn’t with her because she was beautiful—there were so many other important reasons why he adored her. The fact she was beautiful was the icing on the cake. Getting to show her off as his girlfriend was one of his favorite past times.

Especially when he could show her off in front of most of her coworkers who he already despised.

He tried. Really tried. He showed up with an open mind—he didn’t think about the guy that called her love the entire ride over. He was going to be good; he wasn’t going to worry about anything like that while he was with her. The last thing Harry wanted was to embarrass her at work.

But the second the two entered the room he felt every pair of eyes gaze at the gorgeous girl at his side. Naturally, she had no idea. Harry was grateful for that because as he was ready to lose his mind, she gave his hand a squeeze as she thanked him for being there.

There wasn’t a world in which he wouldn’t do literally anything for her.

“Oh loads,” she rolled her eyes. “I think we’re going to have dinner soon, thank God.”

“Y’hungry, kitten?” He chuckled. She nodded silently, sighing dramatically. He smirked. “Well, d’you want t’find us some seats and I’ll grab the drinks?”

“Are you sure?” She asked her eyebrows pinched together with worry. Worry about what, Harry wasn’t sure.

He nodded. “I think I can manage a vodka cranberry and m’own drink.”

“And find our seats?” She wrinkled her nose cutely at her own joke.

“Might be tough. Might have t’actively think ‘bout breathing t’keep m’self going.”

She giggled. “Okay, thank you, Harry.”

“Anything for you, m’love,” he mumbled and pressed a kiss to her cheek. With a squeeze of his bicep, she released him to go find a pair of seats.

Harry knew it was a risk to let her go alone but he hoped as professionals they wouldn’t turn this evening into an issue...and they wouldn’t turn into vultures. As Harry turned with the two drinks in hand he practically knew they would be all over her. There the poor thing was guarding Harry’s seat beside her as if her life depended on it.

Of course, Harry couldn’t come storming in like an idiot. So, as much as he wanted to run to her side so he could protect her—even if she didn’t truly need protecting—he casually sauntered over. “Here, kitten,” he said softly and placed the drink over her shoulder.

“Oh, hi,” she said and while no one else heard it, it made Harry happy he heard the relief in her voice. Harry sat down beside her squeezing her shoulder as he sat down. Effortlessly, she reached for Harry’s hand once he was seated and squeezed once her fingers threaded through his. She began introducing everybody to Harry, who all nodded at him respectfully, but Harry could see the competition in their eyes. He didn’t like it. Harry knew there was no competition. But it still made all the blood run hot inside him. “This is my boyfriend, Harry,” she said finally.

“We thought she made you up,” one of them snickered.

Harry forced a smile and nodded. “M’very real,” he promised.

She gave his hand another tight squeeze. “Oh, thank God you got a seat across from me!” The only coworker of hers that Harry enjoyed: the lovely girl who asked tons of questions. Although Harry prayed she wouldn’t ask any of them right now. He knew that their minds would only be on one thing—and that was the gorgeous girl beside him. It was infuriating how much Harry loved that dress on her and now he wanted her to be wearing anything but that dress—and not in a fun way. She directed a smile at her and Harry could see out of the corner of his eye that she was clearly uncomfortable.

“I see you all met Harry, I told you he was real,” she rolled her eyes.

“She’s got no pictures of you, Harry,” one of them smirked. “She once made up this imaginary delivery...so we couldn’t be sure,” he explained.

“I found that delivery, thank you very much. I didn’t see any of you running around the building trying to match the picture,” she rolled her eyes as she sipped her drink.

Harry smirked and shook his head as he sipped his own drink. Less is more he thought to himself regarding talking to all of the guys that looked at him as if he was the enemy. She seemed to relax a bit as her grip on his hand lessened as the seconds ticked by. Everyone was engrossed in a story and the upcoming Monday Meeting, so Harry was able to enjoy the moment even though he still felt a bit on edge. Dinner was going to be served at any moment, so they all took seats around the table.

Harry couldn’t help but notice how close the guy beside her was sitting. Beneath the table Harry felt her knee bump against his and she whispered a sorry under her breath. He gave her hand a squeeze and took another sip of his drink. Harry and she made small talk and eventually he had to release her hand so he could eat. It nearly killed him.

“Any trips planned for your vacation?” Her friend asked as she brought a bite of salad to her mouth.

“We’re doing a weekend down by the coast,” Harry answered as she was in the middle of chewing. She pressed the napkin to her lips politely and she nodded.

“A wine tour and just a day by the beach will do me some good,” she smiled.

“Oh, how lovely,” she cooed.

“There’s a really good bookshop down by the hotel you’re staying at,” one of the guys across the table said. Harry felt his muscles tense knowing they all knew where they were staying. Of course, it wasn’t her fault. Harry wasn’t mad that she told him; that’s what coworkers did—they talked to each other. He just wished with everything in him that they didn’t think she was gorgeous the way he thought she was. “The missus really likes it, and I know you like books too,” he said kindly. Harry felt his muscles relax a bit—the missus, this guy was okay. Fine, Harry could eat his pasta in peace now.

“Amazing,” she grinned happily. “Just need a coffee shop and I’ll be good for the whole weekend,” she joked.

“M’sure they’ll have one,” Harry chuckled.

“It’s impressive how much coffee she can drink,” this time it was the guy to her right. “If she could do it with beer she could compete.”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s not that much.”

“It’s at least three cups. You’re constantly doing Starbucks runs,” the one beside his eyes.

She shrugged. “I like coffee.”

Harry chuckled. “I’ll get you a coffee maker like the one in m’office,” Harry suggested quietly.

“Office, huh? Are you an accountant as well? Is that how you both met?”

This time Harry saw her muscles tense. “Oh, no...er...we went to the same college,” Harry said. “I studied psychology...I’m a therapist,” he said breezily. The girl across from them took a gulp of her drink and eyed the table suspiciously. The poor thing beside Harry knew that he was keeping specific details away from the people she worked with, and she was so grateful Harry just knew that he should do that.

“Oh cool,” he responded. “My mom’s a therapist. What’s your specialty?”

Harry didn’t miss a beat, as if he had planned on answering. “I deal with people who struggle with their relationships mostly,” he said.

“Do you like it?”

“It’s one of the best things I’ve done with my life. S’very rewarding,” Harry said proudly.

They all seemed to nod in agreement. “Not like here,” one snorted. It was a joke, because financial business was obviously completely different than therapeutic business. This resulted in laughter and fortunately got them away from the topic for which she was so relieved.

“Harry’s nice,” the guy beside her whispered.

“Mm, he’s the best,” she answered softly as she continued eating.

“Lucky guy he is,” he murmured. She ignored the comment. She didn’t want to start anything. But Harry saw her cheek turn one shade pinker. Beneath the table he gave her leg a gentle squeeze.

They just had to get through dinner and dessert.

*

Unfortunately, dinner turned into several drinks before dessert was even a thought. While the conversation was carefree and no one seemed to be having the dick measuring competition her friend alluded to, it was obvious that her coworkers had too much to drink. They were loud, rowdy, and definitely over the top. Harry graciously took it in stride, draping his arm across the back of her chair so he could squeeze her shoulder every now and again.

The conversation ebbed and flowed between work and leisure activities. Harry actually went to the same gym as the one coworker he did like (the one with a missus) and they had a good laugh about something that had happened to one of the machines the week prior. Another coworker also shared their affinity for books and recommended some titles for Harry which he took down in his phone.

But it was just as dessert was finishing that the guy beside her became a bit too much. It felt like it happened in slow motion, his arm knocking the drink over into her lap causing her to stand up instinctively making her own drink spill on her as well. “Shit,” he hissed.

She gasped at the coldness, the liquid sadly seeping into the beautiful dress Harry loved so much. But of course, all pairs of eyes were on her pretty chest where the coldness made her nipples harden against the fabric of her dress. Harry felt his blood burn through his veins again as the stupidly drunk guy started dabbing his napkin against her dress. “It’s fine,” she said quickly trying to brush his hand away and Harry stood as well, pulling his suit coat off and around her shoulders because he wanted to hide her nipples as quickly as possible.

They were practically drooling over her, and it made him want to murder someone, probably someone at the table, specifically.

“I got it, thank you,” she said politely as he continued dabbing at her dress. While his brain must have been foggy with alcohol, it wasn’t his fault it was the center of her dress that was ruined. Harry was nearly steaming as his hands started drifting over her thigh. She flushed brightly as she shooed his hands away again and Harry couldn’t take it, he lightly pulled her toward him stepping away from their chairs. “Enough, mate, she’s fine,” he said grumpily.

“Oh no,” she heard it from her coworker across the table.

“He was just trying to help,” one said rolling his eyes drunkenly.

“Shut up,” the only taken man besides Harry hissed back.

Harry took a deep breath trying to keep collected when all he wanted to do was throw something at these idiots. “Help? He ruined her dress?”

“I think he did us all a favor,” one snorted quietly.

“Oh, God,” she whispered again from across the table taking another large gulp of the drink in front of her.

“Oh,” Harry said flatly wrapping his arm around her tightly, so the opened front of his coat wrapped snugly around her, too. “Why’s that?”

“Harry,” she whispered and turned her face toward his chest, but she couldn’t look up to meet his gaze because he was busy glaring at the rest of the table.

“You’re a lucky guy Harry,” the idiot said.

Harry didn’t respond—he knew he was lucky. He didn’t care if she walked around naked in front of everyone, he knew she was all his, but he did not like the way they ogled her as if she was just something to be desired. She was so much more than that.

“Let’s go,” she whispered to Harry.

“Oh, come on, love,” it was the voice from the phone call.

“Don’t call her love,” Harry snapped.

“Harry,” she whispered gently again. She felt horrible—so horrible.

“Please don’t go; m’sorry about your dress. You still look gorgeous in it—I’ll have it dry cleaned for you,” he said. “Take it off and I’ll bring it back for you—”

Harry opened his mouth to say something, something not good she was sure, but she ignored it and gave Harry a hard shove toward the door as she snagged her purse off the back of her chair. Harry released his hold around her shoulders and grabbed her hand as he fumed, leaving through the door. In heels it was nearly impossible to keep up with Harry. “Harry, slow down please,” she whispered. He slowed barely, pulling her to his car. He opened the passenger door and nearly shoved her inside.

“We’ll get your car tomorrow,” he grumbled and closed her door angrily as he stalked around to the other side.

“Harry, wait,” she pleaded as he shoved the key into the ignition angrily. He was still fuming and she didn’t want him to drive if he was this mad.

“M’fine,” he snapped.

She was silent. With her hands in her lap the only comfort she had was Harry’s smell from his jacket wrapped around her. He sped home, breathing heavily, her heart raced at how tense it felt in the small space of the car. It was so quiet she wanted to cry. She felt like it was her fault and her whole body felt achy with worry.

Once parked outside the building, Harry gripped his steering wheel with both hands and stared out the windshield into the dark as if he could see through the darkness.

Eventually, she couldn’t take the silence a moment longer and finally spoke. Wringing her hands together, nervously. “Harry, I’m sorry,” she whispered. He remained silent, didn’t even look at her, which worried her more. When she worried—especially about Harry—she tended to ramble. “I... I truly had no idea they liked me up until tonight. In fact, until four minutes before you showed up. I’m so sorry. I never would have put you in that position and it wasn’t fair to ask you to come. It was so nice of you to do it. They don’t act like that in the office, I promise. I don’t...” she shook her head, tears filling her vision. She knew it wasn’t really her fault, but it felt like it and Harry not talking made her feel worse. “If I knew—"

“Y’can’t leave me for one of them,” he muttered and glanced down at his lap before looking out the windshield again.

She released a small gasp processing the words as they made it to her ears. “W-what?” She whispered.

Closing his eyes like he was in pain, Harry sighed. “Someone called you love when I was on the phone with you the other day,” he explained. “Made me mad,” he muttered.

She the blush flood her cheeks. “But—”

“I know,” he said without having to hear her thought process. He already knew what she was going to say. “It doesn’t make sense,” he shook his head. “M’sorry,” he mumbled. “Then...tonight. Obviously, I wouldn’t skip this for you,” he promised. “But...I couldn’t imagine you in this...” he finally turned to look at her and he scanned her up and down again. “I couldn’t imagine not being around you when y’looked so stunningly attractive,” he bit his lip. “They have every right t’think you’re beautiful—because you are, kitten. You’re...s’pretty. S’impossible to be rational. I can’t blame them for looking at you. For wanting me t’not exist. If I were them, I’d be jealous of me.”

“Harry,” she breathed. “But you are...you.”

He shrugged. “I know it doesn’t make much sense, kitten,” he repeated. "The devil doesn’t have anything on how temptin’ you are,” he smirked sadly. “S’not your fault,” he shook his head sighing again. “M’jus’... I’ve never been s’jealous in m’life,” he said looking back at his hands. She wanted to smooth out the wrinkle he made in his forehead. “I don’t like that other men know how beautiful y’are. I want t’keep you all t’m’self,” he murmured. “So...please don’t leave me for one of them,” he repeated.

“Harry,” she whispered.

“I know, I know, kitten. S’jus...” he sighed.

“Harry...I don’t think I could leave you for anyone,” she told him.

He smiled and turned to look at her. “M’sorry for acting like a jealous caveman.”

“They were out of line.”

“Doesn’t mean I needed t’act like that,” he shrugged. “I jus’ didn’t like the way they looked at you.”

She looked down at her stained dress, Harry’s coat draped around her, and she looked back toward Harry. “You have nothing to be jealous about,” she promised. “M’so in love with you...and...you’re the only one that can make me cum, obviously,” she reminded him.

He chuckled and rolled his eyes. “S’that the only reason y’keep me around?” He murmured. He sounded like he was kidding but she could hear the worry in his voice.

“There’s about a hundred other reasons before that, you silly goose,” she promised.

They sat in comfortable silence for another moment. “We better get y’inside and out of that dress,” he said quietly. She nodded in response.

Harry unclipped his seatbelt. “I hope that stain comes out,” he frowned. “You look extra beautiful every time I see you in it,” he reminded her.

She blushed and smiled as she turned from him bashfully unclipping her belt as well. “Thank you,” she said cutely. Harry gave her knee a squeeze.

“I also want y’out of your dress so I can make y’cum so hard y’would have ruined the dress anyway...They weren’t the only ones looking at your pretty little nipples when the drinks spilled on you,” he promised so easily it sent a shock of electricity all through the center of her body.

“Oh...oh...” she repeated herself dumbly as he came around to her side to help her out of the car. His eyes dipped down to the V of her dress and he watched as her nipples poked against the fabric once more. He smirked and brushed his thumbs over each one as he sighed. She moaned quietly.

“Better make sure m’the only one who continues t’make y’cum,” his voice was so warm and seductive it made her press her thighs together for some sort of relief. As he whispered across her cheeks and pressed his lips against hers, she felt every word he spoke surge through her body like an electric current. “Better do it, quick, too, huh, m’love?”

[puck-luck]

hi hi hi, i'm back !!! (i sent you an ask over a week ago abt being very new to hockey and adoring your fics) here to maybe manage to formulate some thoughts abt your writing.... but it's 3am and im watching the devils game so brain is a little fuzzy 🤭

okay so like as i said im very new to hockey, i never thought i would end up here but i couldn't hold back eventually 😭 there's just something abt jack... he isn't even my usual type but ?? he's got me under some kind of spell?? not fair... and well super recently ive started to also maybe really like quinn too so i may have spent all morning reading all your quinn works 👉👈

when im reading (and writing tbh) i much much much prefer like sweeter, softer smut? and god you write that so so well. something about the way you intertwine the dialogue with the actions, the way the characters you write fit so well into my own thoughts abt them.....

but yeah again, esp the first frat fic you did for jack in the 1k celly. maybe it's because i live across the globe in europe, but the whole frat system has always intrigued me, and frat!aus are so lovely – but yours was even more amazing than usual? i can't really put my finger on it.... but i have to say that you describe everything in such good detail yet not too much, like it doesn't feel like your intention is to be overly descriptive but your writing still makes me feel every little thing the characters are feeling in some way? does that make sense or am i over analyzing?? like this: "It’s hard to place at first, mostly because you’ve never seen Jack look at you this way. He always oozes confidence. He always watches your expression when he’s fucking you because he knows how good he’s making you feel, and he wants to see you fall apart. He’s never looked at you like he needs more, but today he needs more. // You search his face for any other hint about what he means, placing a hand over his heart and finding that it’s racing. Jack is breathing evenly, but his eyebrows are turned down and the corners of his lips sag."  IDK just in such few words you make me feel so much. (also just loved seeing that softer side to him aaaaaaaaa)

and like. "You giggle when his breath washes over your chest, partially because it tickles and partially because you know that if Jack could climb into your skin, he would." you write that so casually as if it's not the most adorable shit ever??

okay 3am turned into 4am and the game is now over (spoiler alert: got stuck re-reading one of your fics) and i really need to sleep because im so tired and i know im not making any sense rn but !! hope you have a lovely weekend !!! thank you for allowing me to read what you write, truly makes my day every time 😚

(OKAY last thing before i go to bed: the asks abt quinn teaching you stuff and being a good coach. y e s. im actually a sports coaching major in uni and i have SO many thoughts abt attractive things when it comes to this (too many cute classmates 😔) so i will be back once ive formulated some thoughts abt that okay bye mwah)

HI! YOU'RE PERFECT! I LOVE YOU!

Jack is super cunty pretty princess babygirl vibes (even when he's frustrated on the ice all i can think of is how he prob sounds like one of those cutey animal crossing animals when he chirps)

My first foray away from Jack Hughes, whose tiktok edits admittedly inspired me to return to fanfiction, was Quinn. So brother: I understand the trajectory and I am FOR IT. we, as tumblr users, are allowed to love ALL of the brothers in a non-incesty way <3

i have been so into established relationship, sweet and loving smut recently. it's sooooo gratifying to hear you say that you enjoy that!! i love writing my dom shit too (some people on this app write dom shit that is too much for me bc i'm like damn trevor zegras wouldn't be mad at me like that🥲) but soft and sweet sex is always so fun. i love a lil self insert where my bf hockey player is sooooo into me and loves me sooooo much. you make me want to write more of that!!

BROTHER iiiiiiii am living in europe this year!! i actually had to teach my students about frats/sororities my first month overseas and it was so silly. i felt like a zoo animal.

"i have to say that you describe everything in such good detail yet not too much, like it doesn't feel like your intention is to be overly descriptive but your writing still makes me feel every little thing the characters are feeling in some way? does that make sense or am i over analyzing??" thank you!!!!!!!! i actually have this thing that i've discussed with cappy (but never publicly) where i cannot visualize things in my mind? so my problem is always that i have to describe things wayyy too much because i can't actually see the shit in my head about which i'm writing. it's like this: when i think of an apple, i cannot actually see an apple in my mind. i know what the apple SHOULD look like, but i can't picture it. overall, writing probably isn't the best career for someone who can't visualize ideas in their mind BUT i think i'm doing pretty okay and your KIND acknowledgement of my attention to detail is treasured <3

thank you for such a thoughtful, detailed, and complimentary ask!!!! you are so sweet and daggone wonderful!! if you ever have any ideas for fics, i would be honored to write them for you <3 please continue to hit my line when you want to!! i would love to keep hearing from you :)

[lexa-griffins]

Omega Lexa works in a sex shop and provides extra services for the customers via a glory hole. Her identity is kept secret for her protection. Alpha Clarke is one of her usual clients. Clarke accidentally knots Lexa through the glory hole so they're tied together waiting for Clarke's knot to deflate

The.... visual of them then tied together through the glory is... too much. Is porncom a genre? Because that is exactly what this is ajskdkdnd

Lexa knows Clarke, she's seen her walk around the store. She's bought a few things here and there, some she assumes are for partners and not herself but Lexa has learned to not judge a book by its cover.

She visits the glory hole a few times a month. Lexa likes her. She's easy to make cum, she's always polite with her even when she can't see her. Overall, a joy of a client and of an alpha.

Lexa has had a rough week and Clarke feels good inside of her. So fucking good. She's exactly what Lexa needed to make her forget the shitty week she had, from being yelled at by an alpha after so much as implying the dildo he was buying was for him and the beta she had to comfort as she cried about the omega she cant seem to keep as he keeps running back to his ex so she thought a funner toy could help.

Clarke is good at making her forget theres a wall between them. A literal one. She stays out most of the time and lets Lexa do her job o nstead of trying to be the big dominant alpha.

Maybe if Clarke had been more in control she would have been able to realize how close Lexa was to take her and she would have been able to pull out before. Lexa is so lost in how good the stretch feels she only realizes shestaking the knot when she's past the point of no return.

"Oh my god." Its really the only thing Lexa can say as Clarke fully enters her and groans, cumming inside of her.

Fuck doesnt quite cut it.

"I- Im stuck."

Yeah, no shit, smartest alpha on earth.

"We're stuck."

"I should have pulled out, Im sorry."

"I was the one in control, I should have realized it, its my fault."

Silence.

"Are you comfortable like that?"

No, "I guess. Its not like there much we can do anyways." She's bent over and her legs are a ldittle shaky but luckily the stall is small enough she can hold herself up.

"Im sorry."

"Youve said that already."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry."

Lexa snorts with humor, making her body shake and a small moan to leave them both.

"How long do you usually take to go down?"

"Half an hour, one hour? Depends. My rut isnt close so it should be more on the higher end."

"Great."

"Im s-"

"Clarke if you say sorry i will punch you once i get to see your face."

"Hey i- wait how do yoh know my name?"

"Hmmm....."

"Wait, your voice.... oh my god are toh Lexa, the front desk girl?"

Lexa winces, "Hi."

Clarke's breathing seems to get slightly faster on the other side of the wall, "are you doing okay over there?"

"Yeah, yeah." A laugh.

"Whats so funny?"

"Ive had a crush on you for ages now. I had no idea it was you on that side."

"What?"

"I havent had a partner in ages. Ive been accumulating sex toys i dont even use at my house for months just to come here and see you. Oh shit that sounds really fucking creepy when i say it out loud doesnt it?"

"A little. But sweet. In a slightly creepy way."

"Oh my god this day could be going better."

"I've had worst ones this week."

"Really?"

"Yeah. But i doubt you eanna hear about it."

"Oh believe me I have nothing but time."

Its about forty minutes before they can get free. Lexa gasps at the amount of cum that leaves her before she sees a small towel being offered to her from the top of the stall door, the watch on the wrist a clear indication its Clarke.

"Sorry, i know its usually hm, a lot."

"Its alright. Idn another circumstances id probably be delighted its so much."

"Im gonna leave the at the counter and go. With extra of course."

"Oh, okay."

There's a throat clearing from the other side of the door, "Bye Lexa. For all its worth, there is no one else id rather be stuck like that with."

Lexa stops cleaning herself to stare at the closed door. She snorts again.

"I really need to stop sounding creepy dont I?"

"Yes. But it had its charm-"

"Im a creepy way." They say in unison before laughing.

"Bye Lexa."

"See ya Clarke."

Lexa listens for the bathroom door to close with a little hesitation.

By the time she's presentable, Clarke is gone and the store is empty. The money sits on the counter with an added 50$ for the whole mess. As Lexa collects the money she finds a paper with a phone number.

"I swear im less creepy face to face. X Clarke"

[trobeds]

💌

tw cheesy corny cringe shit. read at your own risk

hello loser. how do i even start?? i literally adore everything about you and ill say it again and again for as long as youll let me because i love you so much it makes me fucking crazy. but like crazy together am i right since you are evidently down astronomical

anyways. jay you mean so fucking much to me i dont know how to tell you and have it be enough and ill try but holy shit you make me feel so much like wtf!!!!!!!!!!!!! sometimes youll say something to me and its like the feeling you get when youre on a roller coaster and your stomach like. drops and its thrilling and sometimes ill just feel okay and happy and good just because youre talking to me and i feel like im made of love and thats the only feeling in the world i could ever feel and its /you/ that makes me feel that way and its the best feeling in the world and ive said feeling so many times it doesnt look like a word anymore but uh. yeah

also you say shit sometimes and i just like. i fucking just lose any ability to have a coherent thought what the fuck you do not realize the power you have over me you will send me a :) and i wont stop smiling for like an hour how do you do that??

feel like i want to have matching profile pictures and say goodnight to you every night til i stop breathing. fuck you for making me feel things actually. i love you so much okay please do not forget ever i will say it so much it will be tattooed in your brain i love you i love you i love you i love you i love

god i wish i could kiss you right now

thats us in my mind ^

okay im going to end this here before it gets way too fucking long (too late.) i love you so fucking much thats all bye

[windamp]

i FINALLY finished episode aigis lmfao

thoughts:

gameplay and grinding are much improved from the og answer. it really wasn't something i dreaded like in the og. i had fun acctually!

blah blah blah quite annoyed at some of the choices for yukari, though i do like how snippy she could get in the abyss convos. still. when she went 'i said some mean things' or w/e i was like girl....ive seen you in fes answer...this wasnt mean. you didnt even threaten to tear me apart :/ you didnt even snatch my key :/

some of the hangouts were super cute and some were just like. fuuka does math homework. lmao. it's okay. but it is sad they couldnt all be like mitsuru helps game or ken makes coffee for robots

i liked metis in the og fine but in this they really made her like. so lovable. i want to pull a kh3 and drag her outta aigis' heart lol. went from a b tier to s+ tier for me. the scene with the school uniforms made me want to pinch her robo cheeks.

the ending animations were sooooo fucking good. like. i wasnt too sold on most of the animated stuff in reload but god this. this was amazing.

never thought id say this but i could play the answer again gladly. 2011 me is quaking. incredible.

erebus fight was like the nyx fight in reload though, it lasted like 4 mins and i was like oh okay bye. maybe ive just put too many hours into persona to get tripped up though.

the end credits were just. waogh. love them.

this is. the shipper in me rip. but seeing yukari actually hold aigis' hand instead of just dragging her wrist..yukari falling to her knees in front of a crying aigis....thank you atlus. i appreciate. the food. but also both cutscenes just felt way more emotional so that was great.

[yooboobies]

Hi Réka!!! hope you are having a lovely day! Do you have any fic recs? I mostly read sope or jikook but I'm open to reading anything if someone rec it to me. I'm mostly new to the fandom and I have a hard time finding fics (there's too much) and I always read you talking about fics so I thought I ask 😌

Heyhey!!

I do have a lovely day today, thank you so much!! Hope the same for you mochi!!

I will rec all kinds of fics and you can choose from them!!

I rec all these yoonmin fics from this previous ask I answered

There will be a lot of deepslowpanic fics here, she is one my fav authors so just check all her work out!!!

Like Everything Glows (jikook) - annie_vi - I wont elaborate because I could talk about this fic for hours long - but I just wanna say this is my favorite fic ever. Like….. THE favourite. Like….😔💜

The Edge of Where We Start (yoonjin) - deepslowpanic - I cried a lot at this it was just everything I needed that time.

The Seventh Key (yoonkook) - agustjrg (wintersolos) - Okay not gonna lie this is the longest fic Ive ever read and I had more like a hte relationship with it because it lifted me up just to push me down again but the ending made up for it all.

Shadows Within (ot7) - uhgoodblueside - THIS…… THIS FIC IS EVERYTHING TO ME. The story, the feelings god I cried SO MUCH its so good please read it

Love and other punchlines (yoonjin) - Lecrit - this had some HEAVY topics in it, but amazing jokes as well and I love Jimin in this okay? I will protect him always

Slow Rain (abo ot7) - mangust_d - LISTEN I always cry at fics its easy for me to cry but THIS FIC?? Its one of the most beautiful stories I’ve ever read and I just wish I could read it again….. YOONGI IN THIS IS MY EVERYTHING

Always Crashing in the Same Car (yoonkook) - deepslowpanic - I finished this pretty quickly cause I couldn’t stop reading. I just wanted to hug Kook in this all the time:((((((

Hand in hand (namgi) - TheMetaBard - in this everyone is a kid except Namgijin but… its a beautiful story. As a special needs educator this fic is really really really close to my heart and if you can handle this kind of topic I really recommend it. BUT!!!! Read the tags before starting. Please!

Love Bite (minjoon) - CassiaVioletBlue/softjeon - this was among the very first fics Ive read and I was so fricking obsessed with this I read it 3 more times after. VAMPIRES!!!!!!! AND MINJOON!?????? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

SEALed with a Kiss (yoonjin) - deepslowpanic- THIS IS MY SECOND FAVORITE YOONJIN FIC EVER AND THE ABSOLUTE CUTEST FUCKING FIC EVER please read it and then read the whole selkieverse ITS EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!

'Cause I'll Be In Love Maze (abo ot7) - KookieGotMeOnASugaHigh - CEO JOON!!!! how I love you… this is a huge fav of mine I love that Jimin is a lil shit at the beginning - Koo is absolutely the bestest ever and I just want him to be loved and cherished and he gets exactly that - everyone is obsessed and I can understand it!!

OH SHIT THIS IS GETTING LONG - okay one more and then I will stop but if you need more (I didn’t rec any sope because you said u read mostly them but I HAVE TONS so let me know) Im here to give more!!! Okay last fic:

A Gilded World (yoonjin) - smiles - My forever favorite Yoonjin fic. Like I just can’t say anything else its so so close to my heart…… I finished it WAY TOO quickly I wanna read it again:((((((

Sorry it got soo long and yes I read too many yoonjin and idc nsjdjddjdjjddj HOPE YOU WILL FIND SOMETHING AMONG THESE THAT U WILL LOVE PLEASE READ LIKE EVERYTHING GLOWS PLEASE okay bye💜💜💜💜💜💜

[tellmehowtofeel]

TW: SH, suicide, SA, Mental Health

Today, I hurt myself.

I woke up, rolled over in bed and harmed myself. 

Of course, it’s not as simple as that. I dont wake up and do this in the same way some wake up clutching their vape and hit it as soon as they return to the conscious earth.

But today was the day. 

Today I hurt myself. 

I didn’t get out of bed for hours, nothing feeling desperate enough to move for. I can move and grab my phone and check the notifications, I can check the dating apps for any sort of validation only to be met with being told that ‘your tits are perfect’ or ‘I want to do ungodly things to you’, that ‘You can’t blame a man for thinking fucked up things about you, you’re sexy as’.

It’s disgusting. It’s fucking disgusting.

But on a normal day, I would feel so good about myself. He thinks I’m pretty, he thinks I’m worth fucking, she thinks my tits are good. And yeah, maybe some comments aren’t that bad, but on a day like this, it makes me feel dirty.

I feel disgusting. 

I put myself out there, I put those pictures online, what should I expect? That’s a low cut top I’m wearing, of course someone’s going to make a comment. Oh oops, that dress is pretty skin tight, they can see everything, doesn’t really leave much to the imagination. I thought I looked good in those pictures so I chose them to represent me. Ive been conditioned to seek sexual validation, so when I get it I feel good. 

But today was not the day. 

I woke up feeling unworthy, five minutes later I feel dirty, ten minutes later I feel like a let down. fifteen minutes later I start. And I dont stop all day.

I get a phone call at 6pm. 

He speaks to me, hes worries about me, he wants to help me. My voice remains quiet, monotonous. No, yes, no, im okay, I’ll be fine, no, okay, bye. 

‘Im hanging out with _____, I’ll be in the flat below if you need me.’

‘I love you’

I know

‘You better know.’

Yep, love you too.

I put the phone down. He’s worried about me, Ive made him worry, ive added to his pile of bad things in his life. How could I do that to him? Im so selfish and cruel, how dare I cause his life to be that bit worse? 

But he cares. He cared enough to call, he offered to hang out, to bring food, to be my friend. 

And yet I still said no, I turned him away, I was rude. 

So, today I hurt myself. 

My room is a mess but I haven’t the energy to clean it, I have dishes needing to be washed but I haven’t the energy to wash them, I need to clean my teeth but I haven’t the energy to get out of bed. 

Today, I planned to kill myself. 

I spiralled and I thought and I didn’t know what I was feeling. Of course someone has it worse, I can’t feel like this or tell myself it’s bad or that I ned her because I would be taking that away from someone else. I can’t ask for help because last time I did I was told the man that assaulted me wasn’t at fault, that boys will be boys and because I didn’t call the police I clearly wanted it to happen, that I wanted it to happen to others. That its my fault. 

But like a sign from god, moments before, I get a video from my sister. 

Im playing with my nephew, years ago, making him and I laugh and giggle. And then I remember who I would be leaving behind. I cannot let my nieces and nephews grow up without their auntie. I cannot let my siblings live without their baby sister. I cannot let my mum lose her little girl. I cannot let my dad lose his rebel child. I cannot let my best friends lose his cha cha, or her crazy girl. 

But I can’t live like this. I can’t get help and this is the only way out, but I can’t do it. People say you should live for the good but I feel myself dying with the bad. 

[loversdomain]

its pretty good!! way better compared to my other job i had last year, i was a waitress/front of house staff in a hotel for minimum wage and it was a fancy one too see the customers were horrible and chefs creepy (creepy john is what i called the weirdest one) but the people who own it are actually nice which is a bonus!!!

yeah thats what im slightly worried about, originally i was gonna work tuesdays, fridays AND weekends but decided to not work fridays so that i could have alot least one entire free day in college. and tomorrow is gonna be great bc since my tutor period was cancelled bc of the fire i have 6 hours of free periods which ill use to do most of my work if not all!! bc i have work early on saturday and im going to see a taylor swift string quartet tribute so ill be getting home late since its far from me :)) but im excited nonetheless!!

OH MY GOD. right so i have this "friend" el, and she was one of my closest friends since abt 2019/2020?? she literally helped me out of one of the worst friend groups ive been in ever and introduced me to friends i still have today. like literally my bestfriend for years- then when the second quarantine hit and we were starting year 11 mocks, she got ill and missed alot of school and when she came back she started being quite distant with us. THEN its the last exam and me and the 3 other friends in the friend group (there was me, el, 2 other girls and one who was slowly joining our group) were going for a picnic- and she declined coming bc she was busy (we then saw her in morrisons afterwards bc she told a little fib) THEN over summer she doesnt talk to us once, deactivates the socials, unfriends us on EVERYTHING and leaves all the groupchats (even the inactive ones). so we're all confused (and i was upset and a little angry) abt why she'd drop us out of nowhere.

but a few months have gone by now and i get a notif from snapchat that someone in my contacts has recently joined snapchat... ITS EL. omg what is going on. so i still missed so i added her not expecting an add back but she did the other day. NOW this is embarassing for me bc its so annoying but basically we start talking abt school and whatever and she says she basically just stopped speaking to everyone from school except this one girl called abi (i sat there in shock bc ik u wont get it but it is just so random) but anyways idc happy for her (not really) BUT THEN she says "its crazy how much everything has changed" and i go "yeah omg ikr, like i missed talking to you"

this is my embarrassing downfall like wtf. you would think she'd reply (even if she didnt mean it) "yeah i missed speaking to you to!!". no. that is not what was said. INSTEAD SHE GOES "awwww thats so sweet!" i want to kms. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK 😭😭 this close to deleting the message, like that is so????

p.s !!!!! OH MY GOD MY MUM AND FAD CALLE FME AND MY SISTER TO THE LIVING ROOM AND WERE SEEING RUPAUL WERQ THE WORLD TPUR IN OVTOBER OMGGD (okay bye now)

omg u just posted omg omg omg ALSO I FINALLY GOT A JOB!!!!! WOOOOO!!!! okay okay im going to read it in a sec AH

AAAAAHHH!!! CONGRATS MJ!!! that’s amazing omg :’) gathering that your trial shift went well then??!!

[pterodactylartistry-moved]

i may bitch about the attention or lack thereof my art gets but i still like share it cuz i know that theres a few o you guys who do like to see my art

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n tommy jack and tubbo

requested: yes/no

an: part 4 of the great adventures series

pairing: platonic y/n/tommy/jack/tubbo

warning: cursing

It was the afternoon before your new adventure with your friends. you had no idea what to expect, however everyone else knew even ranboo, and he wasn’t even joining you all. you would be lying if you said you weren’t nervous, especially after hearing some of tommys plans for future uploads. tubbo had been trying to drop hints about what was going to happen. You honestly couldn’t tell if he was excited or nervous, either way you could tell it was going to be a once in a lifetime opportunity and boy were you excited. the sound of knocking pulled you from your thoughts.

“hi y/n! sorry for the unexpected visit, i tried to call you but it wouldn’t go through.”

“oh god sorry, tubbo, my phones on charge upstairs, ive just finished babysitting my friends twitch chat.”

“that’s okay, tommy wanted me to see if you want to stay the night as i can take you with me now. he said something about it saving time tomorrow as jack won’t have to go as far and we can get there earlier, i honestly just think he’s slightly nervous and wants to spend time with someone.”

“i’ve not prepared a bag or anything as i was just planning on grabbing everything i needed in the morning, but i’m down to go with you. i’ll pack a bag real quick, make yourself feel at home. you can stay down here or come upstairs with me.”

tubbo followed you upstairs, and helped you pick which outfits would be the best to wear for the trip. around 10 minutes later you finished packing your bag and turned around to see a very pale tubbo, dropping your bag to the floor you pulled a chair up to your bed sitting opposite him.

“you feeling okay tubs?”

“just nerves, I'll be alright, are you ready to go?”

“ready if you are!”

the journey to tommys was relatively quick, you spent it talking about group plans for when ranboo comes to the uk.

tubbo: almost here!

tommy: yes! want to stream for a bit later, just something small could do laugh and the stream ends. i’ll go talk to my mum now!

•••

tubbo: please open the door

tommy: on it

the pair of you stood at the door waiting for tommy to unlock it

“TUBBO! Y/N I'M GLAD YOU COULD BOTH MAKE IT!”

not too long later, you and tubbo had put everything away and sat with tommy planning out a small stream.

“so i was talking with my parents and we can do an outside stream, and set fire to marshmallows!”

“as much as i love fire tommy i don’t think your parents will appreciate arson in the garden.”

“it’ll be fine now grab a jacket, we need to go walk to the shop.”

the three of you set off determined to get to the shop and back before it got dark, tommy and tubbo walked on either side of you as they want you to feel safe. thankfully the shop was only around the corner so you were all only out for about 20 minutes maximum, you probably could have made it back earlier but you stopped every time you saw a pretty rock.

“y/n come on we still need to stream!”

“did you tweet that you were streaming?”

“no he didn’t.”

“then come and look at this pretty rock!”

tommy and tubbo couldn’t help but laugh at how many rocks you managed to pick up.

•••

“guys i think i’d rather just spend time with you all rather than stream.”

“that’s fine, tommy!!”

the three of you sat around the fire updating one another about plans and opportunitie, coming. the conversation swiftly came to an end when tommy had set fire to a stick claiming it was to make the fire grow. you laughed as you heard his mum yelling at him to stop trying to set you and tubbo on fire.

“sorry about that everyone, but look the fire is big again.”

it got colder as the sun went down, so the three of you sat with a blanket draped over you all. his mum offered to take photos for you and you happily accepted, the pictures looked amazing and you posted it to instagram with the caption ‘i am cold and no one is telling me what’s happening tomorrow.’

it was around 11pm when the three of you agreed it was time to go back inside and sleep.

•••

you and tubbo stayed downstairs and tommy stayed in his room. the sound of tubbos alarm woke the pair of you up.

“turn that fucking thing off!”

“this is the fourth time it’s gone off and you’re still not up?”

“that’s because i’m tired.”

“please get ready jack will be here soon enough.”

realisation finally hit today was the day you were finally about to find out what this once in a lifetime opportunity was. tubbo advised you to wear sensible clothing and not wear the zodiac necklace you always wore, so you decided to wear the hoodie ranboo sent you a week ago and leggings.

“y/n you might wanna tie your hair up.”

“tubbo are you sure you’re feeling okay? you genuinely look ill."

“i’m fine.”

jack: right i’m outside so whenever you’re ready

lani: we’re making our own way later on as the hotel we stayed at is closer

y/n: will someone tell me what we’re doing

ranboo: no

y/n: you’re not even joining us how did you get in the gc

ranboo: magic

y/n: fuck off give me a clue

ranboo: i’ve said it since you dyed your hair neon f/c you’d be able to see from way up in the sky

y/n: what the actual hell is that supposed to mean

•••

soon enough you met up with everyone else and lani started recording.

“we’re skydiving, you ready tubbo?”

“WERE DOING WHAT? HOLY SHIT!”

you honestly couldn’t wait to do this. it was something you had wanted to do for a while, tubbo on the other hand clearly didn’t agree, which was evident through his whining.

you stood with tommy laughing as tubbo sat alone questioning why he agreed to this.

“look at him.”

“he’s is not happy.”

you sat next to jack and tubbo watching the video demonstrating what you will all be doing soon. you let out a nervous laugh, as although you were excited, you couldn’t help but be a bit nervous.

“you could fall into the engine and get chopped up.”

“tommy stop scaring tubbo!”

“what if the parachute doesn’t work?”

“free fall to your death.”

“y/n you’re not helping!”

you stood recording tubbo laying on the floor once again whining.

“tubbo there are so many people behind you!”

“i’m sure the parachute won’t fail tubbo, but if it does it was lovely knowing you!”

“uuuuuuugh!”

“i fully agree bo.”

soon enough you tommy and jack joined tubbo on the floor.

“look at the clouds.”

“we’re going to be in them soon.”

“hell yeah!”

“ughhhh!”

you tried not to laugh trying to calm tubbo down a bit before you all jumped out a plane, which worked until you left him alone with tommy whilst you spoke to jack for a while.

“to be fair that looks quite fun.”

“and dangerous!”

“STOP!”

“well sounds like tubbos thrilled to be here.”

the four of you sat on a bench talking about what’s going to happen, and laughing at tubbos nerves trying to make light of the situation.

“look it’ll be fun, tubbo, provided we don’t die there’s a chance we’ll be in more vlogs.. okay so ignore the black cloud of smoke!”

“that’s not a good omen.”

“shut up!”

you wrapped an arm around tubbo trying to make him feel comfortable and reassure him it’ll be fine, only to be interrupted by jack and tommy bickering about eating before jumping from the plane.

•••

the four of you went to the briefing, at this point you were struggling to contain your excitement, and couldn’t help but laugh out of pure joy.

“no, they are listening, they're just excited.”

after doing training for the jump, you stood with tommy whilst someone questioned him about how he got 9 million subs.

“I just went around being incredibly cool.. doing minecraft.”

you and jack burst out laughing whilst tommy went on to make jokes about how much money he was earning.

•••

it was now almost time to jump out a plane. it was around now nerves were kicking in, so you all went around messing about till you were told it’s time to make your way to get ready.

“let’s go gamers!”

•••

“are you a skydiver enjoyer?”

“i am.”

“well that’s always good... please, don’t let me die!”

“y/n are you scared?”

“no, my ranboo merch will protect me, but if i die can we blame tommy for coming up with this?”

“ranboos not going to believe that you’re wearing the jumper he sent you to jump out a plane.”

a few minutes later you over heard a worker say they’re nervous causing you to tilt your head and blink again, trying to process what was said.

“heh???”

it was now time for the four of you to put the equipment on, so you were ready to jump. jack started talking a lot more than usual at a quicker pace due to the fact he was getting nervous. tommy pointed it out and jack trying to argue he wasn’t made you laugh.

“y/n keeps making a lot of jokes about my parachute being shit.”

“sorry manifold should be fine...more than likely...hopefully. only time will tell really.”

“how you doing buddy?”

“i’m feeling okay. i feel my insides doing inside bits.”

“wonderful!”

you were now all waiting to go as a worker jokes about forgetting something.

“y/n you’re going with him!”

“okay, but why?”

“well you said your ranboo merch will protect you..”

someone went by going rather fast causing you to stare in awe.

“we don’t go that fast, do we?”

“no not unless something goes terribly wrong.”

you all stood there laughing.

“stoppppp!”

“y/n, i’m now thinking you should go with them instead!”

“are you trying to kill me off jack?”

•••

you all set off towards the plane, a mixture of excitement and nerves began kicking in.

“tubbos on a lead.”

“oh i’m really nervous jack.”

“look at y/n!”

lani began to record you, who was now way ahead of the others, so you stopped and waved at lani.

“BYE LANI! HOPEFULLY ILL SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE!”

the others caught up and everyone had their equipment checked again.

“oh dear.. should be fine.”

“i’m alright, don’t worry my ranboo merch will protect us!” you got on first and that when you realised they set you up, so you jumped last as you were more confident and tubbo was jumping first so he could get it out the way.

you all sat on the plane and waved at the camera.

“hi there!”

“hello!”

“hi!”

“please don’t let us die!”

“we’re really jumping out a plane with a dream stan.”

“this is the highest we’ve ever been.”

“gamers in a plane whatever will they do...hopefully not die!”

“Y/N!”

“sorry tubbo!”

you were currently at 2,000 feet and sat looking out the window waiting to reach 14,000 feet. jack turned to you and tommy, “i can’t believe you’re jumping out the plane in philza merch and y/ns jumping out in ranboo merch.”

“if i die at least ill look great doing it.”

12,000 feet later it was now tubbos turn to jump, he looked back at you all.

“YOU GOT THIS TUBBO!!”

you watched as tubbo went.

“GOOD LUCK TOMMY!”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN GOOD LUCK? Y/N?”

“BYEEEEE!”

you laughed as tommy went.

“see you later jack!”

you gave jack a high-five and watched as he went.

“holy shit they actually did it!”

“are you ready, y/n?”

“hell yeah, let’s do this!”

you laughed as you jumped, you couldn’t believe you actually got to jump out of a plane, you waved at camera.

lani met the others as they landed and began telling them about it.

“wait where’s y/n?”

“there they are!”

“Y/N!”

the others ran up to you as you landed.

“i’m glad you didn’t die!”

“thanks jack!”

•••

“would you all do it again?”

“yeah.”

“no.”

“maybe, i’m not sure.”

“i reckon so.”

not too long later, you were all given certificates to celebrate the fact you had jumped out a plane.

“yay it made nearly dying worth it!”

“you’re so dramatic!”

•••

you thought the day was over and that you were going home, little did you know that wasn’t the case.

“were not done for the day.”

“what?”

“heh?”

“you’re tilting your head again.”

“i know it’s because i’m confused!”

“anyway, what do you mean we’re not done?”

“you know george, he’s arrived!”

“gogy!”

“GOGY!”

“can i have a nap in the car please? i’m so exhausted."

taglist:

@l0ver0fj0y

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Their Alright... For A Boomer

Masterlist

Summary: Being a girl with a larger chest always got you attention, maybe having your nipples pierced to try and fell more confident handt been the best idea, but how can you regret it when your latest client; the sexy Mr Cavill  was ogling them but could this end up being more then just that one time you were eyed by a hot celebrity?

Warnings: Suggestive, No Smut, Fluffy? Cute and funny, Swearing

A/N: this was a request from @fanficlover91​ i hope you like this hun, i tried to keep it hot but sweet and respectful? Which was a struggle but i hope i got the vibe you wanted. And as always i hope you all enjoy.

Taglist: In Reblogs.

You blushed as you looked down the lense at your model. He smirked sweeping his eyes over you non to subtly. You could feel the blues penetrating you with a hot stare. The was the distinctive fast clicks on you camera snapping a burst of shots managing to capture his smirking face and eyes sweeping over your form appreciatively.

You stood tall and smiled pulling away double checking the shoots. You bit your lip. Fucking hell this was both the best and worst job you had. Henry Cavill was the most enticing male you'd ever had the pleasure to photograph. He didn't even have a good side, every side was good! There wasn't an unflattering angle on the man!

"And that's a wrap? I think we have everything we need Mr Cavill" you said professionally making to move away from him and begin to swap sd cards and label them before packing away. Henry gawfed and rose quickly panicked almost.

"I- err no! Wait I was... Well hoping that I could have some more done?" he said chaseing you across the small studio you could hear his agent Leah scoff from the side lines. You frowned and looked to her nervously. The woman had been watching and tutting, scoffing and clicking her tongue through the whole session. It actually made you nervous, wasn't she pleased with the shoot? You were worried, being freelance this was your first time doing a celebrity shoot for a magazine but the usual photographer was in hospital having a stroke a few days prior and you were the only free photographer in the agency that was close enough to take the job. Sure you wasn't well known but still it was a little disheartening to have someone seemingly unimpressed with your work.

But it was when you eyed her you saw she wasn't giving you the evil eye. Her frown was directed at henry, a scolding look you'd give a misbehaving child. You frowned a little puzzled, but shook it off in favour of looking to Henry. Your actual client.

"More? I... I? Thought the piece only needed a few to choose from? They were very ah... How do I put it? Thorough? With the brief" you explained hoping Leah would step in and clarify just what was going on. Because you didn't have a clue.

"I yes but- I'd love to top up my portfolio? You know? I err yeah have a few changes going on and... I mean a few greys and such... Just want to update it a tad... I'll pay obviously- I'd pay anything for more time please?" he pleaded watching you closely eyes wide and bright full of hope.

"I... Err" you shifted swapping your camera from one hand to the other and craned your head around the man trying to spy his agent. But you had no hope of peeking around this gargantuan man. Just like with the camera he demanded your full attention.

"And for Instagram and stuff! There's only so much I can do in a selfie... I'd even recommend you- advertise your work!" he quickly added sounding desperate now. It would help you out if you did have a few shots of him for in your own catalogue. It shouldn't matter but having a celeb under your belt was actually a good thing. It meant you'd acted professionally and been good to work with.

"I suppose so, I do have a few extra sd's here... Tell you what I'll do another shoot for you as long as I can pick a few to put in my portfolio? Then we both update our files?" you nodded to him speaking slowly. He grinned and relaxed nodding quickly pleased with himself for wrangling more shots. You'd never know he was just glad to has more time with you.

"Oh yes absolutly! That's fine here should we get started now or?" he asked biting his lip trying not to stare at you for too long. But it was hard you were fucking stunning!

"Oh yeah sure iv got time, let me just sort these out and set up, need to switch, you've tired my poor camera" you said with a grin trying to ignore the man as he beamed at you looking excited nodding enthusiastically. You backed up and spun around trying not to blush as you felt henry gazing openly at you.

"Right well if the magazine ones are done I will be off then" Leah called packing up her bag with a small chuckle to herself. You froze and spun quickly seeing her seemingly abandoning you with Henry.

"Wha- oh you don't have to you can stay-" you tried to reason unsure why, I mean who wouldn't want to be alone with this huge glorious man? Maybe you just didn't trust yourself with him? He had been 'making love' to the camera all afternoon. Smouldering bedroom eyes that was making it hard to focus. You had been getting hot under the collar all day as you kidded yourself he was eyeing you, not the camera or would be readers.

It didn't help that you had caught him oogling your breasts earlier. But you wasn't mad, it was your own fault. It was the Hight of summer and you had on a string vest with a thin bra, that you could clearly see your nipple bars through. You didn't feel uncomfortable or anything, you didn't blame Henry for looking. You cant exactly ignore your tits.. The were pretty large for your frame. You were curvy but they were as one ex put it 'exceptional'. And besides he had looked not touched and he hadn't been a creep about it. In fact he had done a double take and then blushed when he realised he had been caught looking. But as you said you get that with big boobs, you'd had it your entire life, it was actually one of the reasons you'd got them pierced. It helped with your confidence and you convince yourself that they were looking at the bars. Not you per say.  

"Okay aunt Leah I will see you in a few days." henry interrupted you quickly smiling practically ushering the woman out the door. He moved fast ever picking the womans phone and juice bottle to help her leave quicker.

"Yes, behave Henry I'll see you soon" she said with a giggle before calling a thank you and goodbye over her shoulder at you. You swallowed nervously and gave a quick bye as the door clicked behind her and you were left alone with Henry. The man groaned stretching as he spun around a huge grin on his face, making your knees tremble a little. Fuck.

Henry came over and watched you closely as you scribbled the name and date along with the publication name on the sd case label. You tried not to notice as he hovered biting his lip then took off the blazer and threw it on the table beside you drawing your attention as he did grunting a little. The v neck letting the smallest amount of soft looking chest fuzz that had been teasing you all day. He grinned slyly as he caught you eyeing him and crossed his arms over his chest flexing for your benefit. You gasped and quickly looked back to the camera in your hands inserting a new scarf into the new fully charges camera.

"Soo how do you like this kind of work?" henry said casually trying not to seem like a creeper but god damnit he couldn't stop eyeing you. If he had known how sexy you'd be he would have demanded to be doing a bloody swim wear shoot!

"You mean people?" you stuttered trying not to look him in the eye. Not that it helped because the rest of him was just as fucking sexy! You quivered all over desperately trying to remember how to breath, yet didn't want to draw in too deep a breath and make your tits bounce for him and look like a slut. There was a very fine line for a big busted girl, to much wobble will make you look like your trying to get attention.

"I mean celebrities, magazines we were told you mainly do private shoots for events and model portfolios" he offered leaning forward as he leant back on the desk next to you hooking one ankle behind the other. The way he stood placed his crotch in your line of sight as you looked down and worked on setting up the camera. You flushed. Oh god he looked er... Bigger then you'd thought earlier, not that you were looking but... Well you couldn't help notice the package! The man was a fucking serial man spreader! And that thing was huge! With the muscles he was packing he could probably bench press you with his crotch!

"Oh well its different... And you sir popped my celebrity cherry" you froze on the spot as you said that, it had meant to be an ice breaker, a joke but instead had sounded fucking creepy!. You snapped up to him making to apologize as your face flamed mortified but he had thrown his head back laughing. The deep rumble sent chilled down your spine.

"Well I'm honoured to have popped your cherry~" he teased placing a hand over his heart with a cheeky grin making you blush and nod then turned to him with the new camera all set up.

"Soo where do we start?" you said moving on quickly looking up at him trying to forget the whole cherry comment.

"Where ever you want me, i will let you take the reigns command me as you will" he chuckled standing tall once more and looked about the room casually to the various small set ups, different furniture, seats sofas and mini tables dotting the space.

"I... Okay then you said Instagram? How about we start with some facials-FACE SHOTS! Face. Shots. Not facials fuck. Shit" you quickly tried repairing the damage whist cursing yourself wanting nothing more then to be swallowed up by the floor.

"No, no love facials sounded perfect~" he said winking before gliding past you making you stutter and almost choke on your breath. Oh good lord this was a bad idea. You followed as he sat down on a sturdy sofa and looked head on at you and bit his lip once again watching you with a sultry look.

And that was the beginning. You followed him about taking various snaps whislt having small talk. He seemed to be very flirtatious as he spoke, dropping lines and compliments as he made eyes at you. You flushed each time clamming up at his suggestive comments. And rightly or wrongly you flirted back trying to seem cool and suave. But inside you were fangirling unable to belive you were here with this incredibly gorgeous man teasing one another. On a few occasions he even growled as you scampered about him, crouching and taking shots from blow getting some delicious angles that dampened your knickers. Then in between all this he managed to get little tied bits. You'd told him you were on agency freelance and were trying to get into the social media platform as it seemed easier in this day and age rather then to be in fashion photography. You wanted to be commercial not private but no one would really take a chance anymore.

Then you suggested a few shots on the sofa laying back trying to think of something different for your portfolio, maybe a body length shot. He was quick to agree and dived onto the sofa saying he had an idea you swallowed nodding not fully trusting the look in his eyes. But that was forgotten as he relaxed stretching out over the sofa legs crossed and resting on the arm of his hands behind his head and a devilish smirk looking down the lenght of his body. You knelt at his feet trying to get a flattering image of him looking down but cursed as the camera wasn't playing ball. The lense was focusing, this was why you used the other one first, the camera had a few issues and was temperamental.

"What's wrong?" he asked frowning a little at you as you growled pulling the camera away fro your face and began trying to manually focus the lense.

"Oh its.. It wont focus.. It does this sometime, really need to throw it out but.. She was my first I'm sentimental" you said feeling silly as you battled with the camera.

"We all are with our firsts... How about you come closer instead, I really want to see this shot, never done one at this angle.. Out of all my shoots your the first to suggest this~" you froze and looked to him but he just smiled impishly at you. Slowly you rounded the sofa and leant over him positioning the camera at his stomach as he looked right into the lense giving you a definite bedroom eyes, half lidded and burning. Both dreamy and amazingly sexy. It was as if he could see you beyond the lense, as if it wasn't even there!

"You can come closer love, I wont bite, not if you don't want me to~" his voice was low and teasing, luring you in like a siren. You trembled and moved along him but he tutted and moved a hand to your hip and pressed, coaxing you onto the sofa and sat you on him making you straddle him. You gasped squeazing your camera tighter as he moved you easily, warm palms holding you both delicatly and firmly. You could see in his eyes he was weary unsure if he had gone to far but you squeezed him between your thighs and relaxed making him grin up at you getting the message you didn't mind at all. You aimed the lense at him once more and got the shots you wanted.

"Perfect! Mr Cavill" you said actually a little sad that this session was over. It had been nice playing this little cat and mouse game with him. But all good things come to an end.

"Ah now i have a policy love, when a womans on top they can call me henry, among other things~" he said smoothly laughing as you chuckled nervously fiddling with the camera in your hands and shifted over him a little.

"I will try to remember that for next time boomer~" you teased managing to overcome your nerves as you pulled away the camera with a giggle winking at him as he stuttered. For a second you thought you'd gone too far but a quirk to his lips made you relax once more.

"That hurt, that was hurtful" he teased pouting not releasing you from his lap, instead holding you tighter, fingers digging into your sides making you gasp and bit your lip as he pulled you to his crotch and ground into you teasingly.

"I'm so sorry~" you uttered breathless trying to keep yourself together. But this man was something else, like a drug- the devil all fanged smiles and smooth words. God you were fucked, you knew this man could do anything to you and youd thank him for it~

"I doubt that" he cooed and slid his hand higher growing more and more confident. The last few hours of casual flirting had built up his appitite. There was no misconceptions, you wanted him as much as he wanted you.

"Oh yeah?" you said coyly tipping your head to him playing along willing for this to happen, whether it be a one of fuck or something longer. You didnt have any complaints~ this was your body and youd enjoy it with who ever you wanted to!

"Yeah prove it!" he hissed and moved quickly sitting up and swinging around planting his feet on the floor. You yelped as he moved surprizingly fast and managed to keep you in his lap now face to face with you eyes roaming your face settling on your lips.

"And how should i do that" you teased tilting your head skimming your lips with his as you spoke. He groaned and held you tighter making you whine breathlessly willing this to happen. You wanted him and you wont deny yourself the chance.

"Make and old mans day" he said plainly and leant back resting on the back of the sofa, you watched him closely and brought your hands to his shoulders prodding at the neck of the t shirt and drew your fingers down slowly feeling him shiver at the light skimming fingertips.

"Oh really Boomer? And how would i make and old mans day?" you teased once more making him grunt but he quickly caught himself as your fingers smoothed over the teasing curls that peeked over his top. You scratched over them lightly with your nails making him draw a needy breath and chuckled at him. He was sexy and cute~

"By accepting a job offer?" he said before smileing smugly as you paused and frowned. Had you missed something? Was he after a freebee?

"Job offer? Really another shoot?" you snorted suddenly not feeling sexy, more like he was trying to butter you up for some fuck for parts shoots or something. He sighed and began speaking before you could get yourself all twisted. But then again you could have taken his offer wrong.

"Manage my social media. I have many companies and brands reach out to me for endorsements. They want me caught wearing their brands. But I'm to busy most of the time I cant make it to the locations they want. It actually doesn't seem worth it most of the time, with cost of flights and time lost travelling to and from studios itd be easier if I had my own personal photographer that travelled with me its be easy, slip on the clothes and what not take a few snaps and then you touch them up and post them on my social media." he explained watching as it sunk in that he wasnt trying to pull a fast one. Well he was but not trying to fuck you over... Just fuck you... And keep you because you were fantastic and he wants nothing more then to have you around hime as much as possible. In the single dat he had spent working with you, you had enchanted him, not only were you sexy but you were good at your job and easy to work with but also funny and cute and he needed to get to know you.

"Of course its a very big venture and we'd have to have a few dinner and lunch dates to work out all the nitty gritty" he added after a few beats of silence trying to make it clear he was interested... Very interested~ it worked as you fluched and a playfull look donned your face your fingers began stoking his chest hair once more. He relaxed shuddering under the nails as they teased his curls.

"Is this a big ploy to get a date Boomer?" you purred his new nick name making him groan when you squeezed him between your thick thighs once more grinding on him and the considerable bulge below you that twitched.

"No... Maybe is it working?" he said quickly hissing at you shifted in his lap once more, his hands snapping to your hips trying to still you before he came undone in his boxers. You were a very dangerous woman and something told him you knew.

"Well it sounds like an offer I'd be very, very interested in taking further~" you clarified giggling when he swallowed dryly and eyed you surprized that his plan had seemed  to work.

"Good to hear~ so got anything planned after this?" he asked feeling a wave of confidence at the prospect of snagging a date with you. He hadn't meant to sound so eager but... He was eager and that was that.

"Yes" you said with a straight face and got up off of him spinning around heading to the table with your camera bags. You gave him a glance and giggled seeing him still sitting there gobsmacked legs wide open and his crotch that was now definitely bigger then it had been earlier.

"O-oh" he stuttered seemingly unsure how to proceed. You giggled as he fumbled over his words. Then decided to grant him some mercy and began speaking whilst popping out the sd card from the camera labeling it like the previous one.

"You see I had a very cheeky client today who asked for a shoot last mineut. But I wasn't to bothered he was very very sexy even if he was a boomer, but get this out of nowhere gave me a job offer? And we're having dinner- he promised pizza~" you giggled glancing at Henry as he slumped in the seat realising halfway through that you were talking about him. He smoothed his hands over his face and jumped up coming over to you shaking his head.

"You know I'm not actually a boomer?" he quipped folding his arms. You rolled your eyes at him as you packed your stuff away making sure to recheck everything.

"Have you seen your selfies? Your a boomer, boomer" you teased making him scoff but laugh at the name that has now stuck.

"Wait you've seen my selfies? What do you think?" he asked wanting feedback on the silly shots he took. You paused halfway through zipping up your bag and turned facing him fully giving him a thoughtful look then shrugged

"Their alright... For a boomer" you giggled when he preened for a second then his face dropped into a pout when you finished the comment.

"I repeat...That was hurtful" he said covering his heart with a kicked puppy look making you laugh and hoist your bags over your shoulder and make for the door with him hot on your heels.

"Its fine boomer a second date will make up for it I'm sure~" you sniggered at him playfully looking back at him as he followed you out of the door.

"A date for each time you call me boomer? Deal" he quipped walking along side you offering you his arm like a true gentleman unlike the teasing horny little shit he had been all day. Not that you minded either. Gentleman on the streets, freak in the sheets and all that jazz.

"God we may aswell marry now then boomer" he laughed nodding in agreement the banter from the day still in play as you both left the building.

"Seems so, I mean were at ten that's what the kids consider boyfriend girlfreind territory" he anounced with a sigh playing on the 'boomer' joke making you giggle and roll your eyes as he mentioned the tally. Then you frowned and quickly counted your 'boomers' and opened your mouth you correct him, arguing that ten was incorrect.

"I think its nine boomer- ah see what you did their sneaky boomer!" you cried pushing him playfully at his little trick. He roared with laughter and quickly tangled his fingers with yours dragging you back alongside him guiding you down the street towards a place he knew served pizza, he didn't remember but apparantly he promised pizza...

[notcolleen]

god i have so many thoughts to write about this trip but right now i need to process this before anything else:

[[MORE]]

oregon has always held so much significance to me in terms of recovery bc my time at/after rainrock was the most lasting and most authentic recovery ive ever experienced. i also truly love it here and refuse to tarnish that with the shame of my eating disorder. so with that, i have forced myself to try my hardest every time im here and unfortunately that usually means a lot of getting back on track from relapse or a lot of significant differences in the way i was eating/living at home.

i try to view it as a ‘reset’ to get back on track but tbh i know i probably place too much significance on my time here and it sometimes ends up enabling my behaviors and ultimately making it harder bc i am so black and white in my thinking (so i let things get really bad before coming bc i ‘i’ll do better there’)

and im actually thankful i didn’t have a lot of notice this time bc i couldn’t completely crash and burn beforehand, and was actually trying to make small changes to my routine before bc i was getting sick of myself and i just had a birthday and didn’t want to spend another year like this, but there was definitely still the last couple days of ‘fuck it’ mentality

so this is all to say, on top of work and travel stress, im also just really anxious and Going Through it rn bc im like…trying to force a complete turn around in my recovery over the last couple days and my body is confused and my brain is confused and i feel like this is the timeframe i’d usually be in treatment center venting abt the refeeding process and complaining abt the superficial woes of weight gain and body changes but instead im really just trying to appreciate being here / trying to take advantage of Recovery Food here (abt to write a whole other post on scarcity mindset and a hotel breakfast buffet though bc holy shit im struggling with that) and trying to appreciate being here and exploring while !not! exploring too much and having it become a behavior

and it’s all just really hard

and actually i started this post to say that i am on my lunch break now and it was hard bc only 10 minutes ago a student lifted up my arm and called it flabby and asked me what my marks on my arms are (not the tattoos lol, the stretch marks) and said they looked like her grandmoms arms lmao tried to play it off and explain that bodies change and grow and look different and we should never touch other ppls bodies without permission etc etc but she’s young and i know it was forgotten in 2 seconds while i now have to come and each lunch with it on my mind

and im actually in the process of really working to accept my arms in particular, bc i know it’s something other ppl see; ive gotten comments from other ppl abt my stretchmarks since 4th grade lol. they bear my weight changes more signicantly than other places and my stretchmarks become really visible when i am tan. and the “flabby” is just fact. i could spend my days in the gym and it would still be there. i could lose 372956 lbs and it would be there. my body has been put through so much over the years and i am learning to accept it more and more each day, and i no longer dress to hide these things, but i definitely still have a pit in my stomach every time a kid stares a little too long or asks me to move my arm.

but anyway i will now still eat lunch

and then i will journal in my body acceptance journal that i specifically brought along in my carry on bc i knew this would be difficult and i am ready to try

okay

bye 🤸‍♂️