#god im actually horrified of being here
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solar-sepia · 6 months ago
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What is UP Higgs nation
[said like I've stepped into a big ass room at a party]
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quietwingsinthesky · 1 year ago
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im too tired to expand on this fully but consider: s10-11 au constructed around chuck not showing up late in s11 but instead joining up with the winchesters after Fan Fiction. specifically as chuck, not as god, though he is still that and not only a prophet anymore. but sam and dean don’t need to know that. they just know there’s a prophet-shaped hole at the bunker.
chuck being a reoccuring character in the background of s10. talking about the mark with sam, getting badgered by charlie about the books, helping to translate the book of the damned. as it becomes more and more clear that sam’s really going to destroy the mark, he. doesn’t do anything to stop sam. but there’s more and more times where chuck just looks uncomfortable. an emotion that’s a mixture of nausea and fear, that the winchesters can write off as ‘nervous weird prophet dude having an episode’.
watching sam and dean a lot, too. in a voyeuristic way, obviously, this is his whole deal, he set them up to be interesting to him, but there’s something else there. grief, maybe. jealousy, definitely.
i just think the whole ‘oh yeah he’s actually god for real btw’ set-up would be better if he was actually around for a bit more recently not being god. or pretending not to be god.
#and also because the tragic sibling enjoyer (<- me) wants to see him be fucked up about amara more#also because it would be so so funny for sam to be like I Am Getting Visions From God Right Now while chuck is just. sitting there. like 😬#also also. because it would mean castiel gets to meaningfully interact with him. even if its not as god exactly.#but there’s something there.#also also also because this would be directly self-indulgent for my ‘god possessed chuck’ theory. at some point he should just flat out say#‘well yeah there was a guy here before me. you met him. he’s still kind of here because im him but he’s also dead in every way that matters’#v nonchalantly. like this is normal and not horrifying.#bonus points if lucifer and/or cas are there when he says it and have Reactions to the implication of a vessel being taken by their father#without that vessel technically consenting to it. whether that’s frustratioj at him imposing a rule on them he doesn’t abide follow. or#horror at even their lackluster understanding of consent being fully ignored. or even jealousy that he gets a vessel so easy#chuck shurley#spn#he’s just a fucked up little guy. he should be around more.#i know theres the samulet that glows with god nearby but uh consider. it doesn’t actually work and never did.#and chuck just makes it glow when its time for his convenient reveal because he set that up and he can’t not fire chekov’s gun.#he’s a hack writer but he’s not incompetent
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wizard-mp4 · 2 years ago
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I'm stuck at my works office, to be clear I don't work in an office but I'm here because they want me to absorb information from these training videos produced by corporate, so I can regurgitate the same nonsensical trash to real humans who are paying life and limb for our horribly managed services that I technically partake in providing.
None of this would matter to me if I was actually getting to learn or progress my technical knowledge. But the bureaucrats want a piece of paper, notarized by my direct boss and then notarized by their boss, that says I watched a video confirming I know what to do at work.
After work I'm gonna go to the weed store. I deserve it.
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nomairuins · 2 months ago
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ill be like I can totally make a lighthearted post mentioning a kink i have and i wont even freak abt it. and then i freak abt it
#its not even one of the ones i normally freak abt. fml. fml. its spreading. eventually i wont even be able to say Strals exist without going#into system shutdown or something. this sucks#this is also why i have so much trouble posting on my nsft is ill go over there and be like. Id love to **** some ***** and then i get#terrified. so i dont#my pfp over there is literally. **** ******* ** * *** but i go over there to post abt how i want to **** * *** and im like that is deviant#i cannot be saying that in front of my followers. who dollowed my nsft blog. where i list the things im into . and my pfo is * **** *******#** * *** so its not like theyd be HORRIFIED if that came up#but idk... i worry ppl dont read my dni over there. bc usually they just follow me after seeing that one post which doesnt rly mention any#of the ones im weird abt. except for like kind of it does but whatever its fine i cannottt freak out abt that post its existed for like.#months now. sigh. its all just a bit embarassing which sucks#“mdni”#IN A MASSIVE WAY. idr if any minors still r here if im still muts with any....#its just like. IDK i either feel a bit silly posting on it and its just mildly embarass Or i send myself into hysterics over how im an evil#person bc i like. well i cant say. obviously. but yk. stufffff. that i am into. I HATE TALKING ABT IT BC IT MAKES ME SOUND LIKE AN EVIL#PERSON AND LIKE. its not anything like. UGH. im not into kids or animals 👍👍👍 obviously. and idt its that bad the things im into some of#them r like basically baby shit like ohhh woww youre into *********** and yet even that i cant talk abt it bc im like um im going to be#smited by god and sent to hell or soemthing and actually i only thing its normal bc im a disgusting weird freak and everybody would kill me#immediately if they knew also im an evil person? its like. UGHHHH.#and the other stuff is. less 'mainstream' which is even scarier but ig in a way ive been More open abt it which is kind of funny. looks at.#but even then i dont rly go in detail bc yk. Stuff. im just like lol they r the way they r bc of how i am. and then i walk away forever#idk. ive been feeling so guilty over that specifically like. UGH. its not like. ugh. i rly cant talk abt it without it being obvious and im#scared byt im also like Compelled to talk abt it so ppl dont think its worse but im also compelled not to bc thats like oversharing i guess#as if thta isnt All i do on this fuckass blog. no matter what i do i lose. i hate my brain so badly i wish i could judt get over it and jus#be like yep these r the things and not have to like over clarify and explain and disclaimer everything and stuff . idk. it suck#mdni#the quotes didnt take it to the top like they used to. kms
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kindred-spirit-93 · 1 month ago
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HOO BOI. i desperately want to write volumes about this topic alone but ill stick to a tag rant because is have so much studying lol.
demeter they could never make me hate you. you were imo the only sensible person in the myth(s) actually and a good mum. fuck u zeus
The story of Hades and Persephone isn't an abduction romance, or even a tragedy of not being able to be in two places at the same time. It's about how fucking wild it would be to have a mother who gives a shit about whether you're dead or alive, and whether you are happy.
#hades and persephone#the ill get back to this eventually tag#sick with all the awful adaptations & retellings that romanticise aspects at the price of completely and irreversibly ruining others#look i dont care what u want to enjoy or wish to believe thats none of my business its all fun and games at the end of the day#but to so blatantly ignore the orignal mythos in favour of aesthetic or whatever and insisting *thats* the standard is just cruel#part of it falls on how much were missing in the critical thinking & media literacy department and tend to accept pop culture as is#again one of the beauties of literature is its potential for interpretations.. and storytelling relies on appeasing the masses#and reaching audiences and demographics and adapting to fit the everchanging social norms and all that jazz. i know#thats not what im referring to here#its the denial of nuance and refusal to acknowledge that hey sometimes a piece of media isnt really accurate? or right? like at all#(i for one as of late have been extremely fascinated w darkfics and heavy topics being explored in media.. esp in greek mythology)#and it honestly wouldnt matter if it werent for the vehement hate it breeds against the source material and the very valid#opinions on the other side of the coin. the least we can do is do some background reading and have some common sense guys.#in this case the erasure of justified rage and grief to accentuate rebellious femininity or whatever to me is just sad#making demeter the villain? a mother who was rightfully horrified after her (underage) daughter was stolen from her#making persephone who cried and mourned during her stay in the underworld a girlboss who waltzed in on her own volition?#in some versions of the myth hades tricked her into eating the seeds. she had no idea what the implications were. NOT COOL MY DUDE#look i actually like hades and persphone in terms of theme and symbolism. like a lot. im working on stuff with them in it#but keep in mind the people places and things at play when engaging with media. think of the prices that were paid and how it relates to us#myths serve to teach lessons and morals as well as explaining natural phenomena and other things. folklore doesnt exist in a void#also as much as i love to dunk on zeus for being a piece of shit and serial rapist#he is extremely complex and multifaceted as a god and king of the gods and much more than that. as is the case for everyone in the pantheon#agh i need to go before i go on a rabbit hole so deep i find iron lol
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flamingoofeathers · 4 months ago
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𝗦𝗪𝗘𝗘𝗧 𝗖𝗥𝗨𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗡' || 𝗕𝗥𝗜𝗗𝗚𝗘𝗧
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pairings: bridget x fem!reader
summary: tired out of your mind, you confessed to Bridget.
genre: fluff
one-shot; wc: 1.2k
main masterlist bridget masterlist
a/n: i apologise for not posting yesterday but i did not feel well bc of the heat, like what the fuck, why is it so hot, but here i am with a one shot for the lovely Bridget, because i am down bad for this girl both the character and the actress, Ruby Rose Turner…the woman that you are.
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It had been a long day or rather, a long week for you. Midterms were coming and you were panicking, studying never came easy for you, so you have to study twice as hard than everyone else to receive a passing grade, which caused you to cram all night long, with no sleep, while during the day, as student body president, you were required to patrol the halls and then di extra curricular activities, you didn’t have time to study at all during daylight.
By the end of the week, you were like a walking corpse, eye bag clinging to your under eyes, slouching not caring whether you were about to bump into something or someone.
Friday afternoon, walking to your after school club, dragging your feet with your eyes barely staying open, to others you look like zombie, some students looked at you with worry but none cared enough to actually help you that is until you bumped into a certain bubbly pink haired girl.
The sound of a falling metal tray startled you, watching the seen in front of you, you panicked when you saw a bunch of pink cupcakes on the floor, looking back at the girl, she just looked at at you horrified.
“Bridget! Oh my god, i am SO SO SORRY!” You said apologetically as you were about to lean down to grab the fallen tray and cupcake a hand grab at your forearms stopping you, you look up to see Bridget’s worried eyes.
“Y/n? Are you ok?” Bridget asked, you were confused as to what she was talking about.
“Yeah? Why?”
“Your eyes..” realising what she was talking about, you immediately pulled your arm away from her hand, grabbed the cupcakes and the tray before handing it back to her hurriedly.
“Im sorry again” you said before rushing away from, sudden burst of adrenaline from embarrassing yourself in front of your crush.
How can you forget about the eyebags surrounding your eyes, you almost look like Hook with his eyeliner from how dark your eyebags are.
After basically running to the fashion club, you were even more exhausted than before, causing you to poke yourself self while sewing a shirt, it would’ve been fine if it happened once or twice, but as the hour passed, the other members couldn’t help but look at you everytime you say “ow”.
“Y/n? You good, girl?” The club president asked, but you didnt hear her.
“Y/n? Y/n!” The president shook you wake when she noticed you actually had your eyes closed while using the machine.
“Wa-what?” You said blinking your eyes back open.
“Y/n, i think you should go get some sleep”
You fake chuckled “whaaat? Im fine, im totally awake” you said activating the machine again but your eyes began to close once more.
“Nope, you’re not, c’mon” the president said before grabbing you and dragging you out of the room with you mumbling protests, it was clear very very crystal clear that you were exhausted.
The president was silently scolding for not taking care of yourself but once you reached the courtyard, you felt as if you were handed to another pair of arms, much softer arms and mmmm they smell good too.
The only part you heard of their conversation was “i’ll take care of her” before you were once again dragged away.
You looked drunk from how much you were stumbling and babbling about being “super awake and super energised” you heard the person carrying you chuckle and you recognised it as Bridget’s laugh, but you didnt have the energy to even blush around her.
As she guided you back to your dorm, she scolded you about needing to manage your time better and taking better care of yourself which made you sulk a bit.
When you arrived in front of your dorm, you were already passed out in her arms, making it hard for her to ask you for the keys of your dorm so she checked your pockets and that made you giggle in your sleep.
"𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘭𝘦𝘴" you said murmuring.
Bridget chuckled opening your door. She guided you to your bed, making sure to lay you down carefully but what you said made her drop you to your bed but you didn’t even realise as you close your eyes snuggling into your blanket.
"𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙞 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩?" 𝘯𝘰. 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵.
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The next day you woke up more active and aware of your surroundings, but what made you confused is why Bridget is talking to you and blush-y around you, not that you minded of course, you just don’t know why.
It went on for the rest of the day, she was happily talking to her, so she confronted her about it.
“Bridget, im sorry, why are you talking to me?” You said, and the girl suddenly looked confused and hurt.
“Not that i mind, of course, in fact i enjoy it a-lot, its just…you never really talked to me this much before, did something happen?” You defended immediately.
“Well, yesterday you said-“ she hesitated noticing the confused look on your face “ you know what, nevermind” she said smiling but you can see that it wasn’t a genuine one.
“Im just gonna go” she said attempting to leave but you grabbed her wrist.
“No, please tell me what i said yesterday” you were dreading to know what you said.
“Um, well….you said you liked me, but you were totally buzzed out yesterday so i understand that you didn’t really mean it, so no worries” she hurried say with nervousness in her voice.
“Oh. My. God. Bridget, i am so sorry, i didn’t want to confess that way.” You said blushing, embarrassed about your actions from yesterday “you know, you can totally reject me immediately, you don’t have to let me down slowly or whatnot, i don’t want to force you to hang out with me, just because you know i like you” you said apologetically.
“No, y/n, i li-“ Bridget said.
“You’re too kind that you cant even say it, oh my goddd, i totally get it, no hard feelings, you dont have to say it, im gonna go now so- yeah” you said turning around to leave.
The next thing you knew, lips were pressed against yours. Your eyes widen at the sudden situation, you saw Bridget with her eyes closed ACTUALLY kissing you.
'𝘰𝘩 𝘮𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘥. 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬' you thought and when the situation finally registered in your brain you kissed back and you felt her smile against your lips.
When you pulled away, you looked at her shocked “𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙪𝙪𝙪𝙘𝙘𝙠..." you whispered while touching your lips making her chuckle.
She grabbed both of your hands as she stepped closer to you.
“I like you too, silly” she said bashfully.
“Oh my god, you’re so cute” you said dazed making her blush.
“Aren’t you going to ask me?” Bridget said fidgeting with her hands.
“Ask you?” Youre brain was NOT working at all.
“To be your girlfriend?” She smiled shyful.
“Oh-“ you were short circuiting “oh!” you cleared your throat.
“Bridget, would you do me the honor of going on a date with me and becoming my girlfriend?” You smiled.
“YES! YES! YES!” She squealed hugging you “i’ve been dreaming of that question for so long”
"𝙞 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪"
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the-s1lly-corner · 6 months ago
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Sleepover w/ the digital circus cast
been a while since ive written this style of post for tadc, but im on my computer again so hopefully writing so much wont be too grating! reminder that i do not currently take requests for the entire cast in one post-
notes: reader is gn, not really romantic, written with the idea that everyone is having a sleepover in the main area of the circus
cws: bugs
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caine
does not sleep but he wants to feel included, hes the one providing the games and activities for the night, as well as bedding for everyone to use
pretends to sleep, probably totally incapable of sleeping unlike the circus members... fake snores to try to sell it and make it convincing but all it does is it keeps everyone else awake
the games mentioned are usually an exaggerated and insane version of them- truth or dare but if you lie or refuse a dare you were given you get locked in the cellar/j
oh he definitely would try to get some juicy conversation with you or another circus member- god forbid you show some small sign that youre crushing on someone, hes not going to leave you alone
even worse if he finds out you actually do and who it is
his version of spin the bottle might get a little insane, knowing him.. definitely rigs it lands on whoever you like
pomni
not very interested, but if this takes place post episode 2 shes more inclined to join everyone for the night to get to know everyone better
if you two have grown close she sticks with you during the insane games caine has set out
completely opts out of any games that look way too intense but she probably gets roped into it by some of the others- or simply being swept into the chaos
sleeps off to the corner a bit away from everyone else so she can at least try to get a good nights sleep
if SOMEONE (jax, or even caine) gets too overwhelming or annoying she just gets up and goes to her room... you might be able to coax her back out
ragatha
as mentioned in jax's section, she offers to let you lay next to her if jax is bothering you
if you ask her, she does your hair before you go to bed. brushing through it and if its long enough she ties/braids it up for you
if you have a sleep set- unlikely given that they cant take their clothes off but we can pretend caine snapped his fingers and changed everyones clothing or something- she compliments how it looks.. if its cute or if it looks comfortable
if youre still awake and open to it she talks to you quietly when she cant sleep, its actually a nice change of pace against the chaos of when everyone else was awake
you dont talk about much, you just check in on each other and ramble about nothing in specific... keep it down or caine will come on over and try to insert himself
jax
hes the reason the cw is here, hes going to put bugs in your blankets if you guys arent sharing his room. if the two of you are in your room, or if you guys are in the common area hes going to do it.. or put something else thats unpleasant there..
thinks its funny, knowing him he might actually laugh a little off to the side as you thrash your sleeping bag around
snack hoarder, especially if theres candy- good luck trying to get more than a handful from him, hes not much of a sharer
tries to play everything off when someone offers to let you come lay down next to them for the night- likely ragatha
tells the most grotequse and horrifying stories before everyone else goes to sleep
"first person game mcs dont blink" is said as everyone is trying to unwind or something along those lines
kinger
has the softest and comfiest pillows and blankets, from his fort of course! likely sleeps in it rather than out and exposed on the floor with everyone else
makes it a little larger so you can crawl inside with him- its a lot calmer in here than anything thats happening out there
small talk, you both talk about your interests though due to kingers nature the conversation bounces around a lot
he doesnt participate in the games for the most part, especially if its after a high energy adventure... hes a little drained after the day- physically and mentally
sleeps with at least an arms length of space between the two of you unless you tell him youre comfortable with him being closer
dad snores
zooble
not very interested, probably stays in their room for most of the night if not the entire night
if theyre around when jax is telling scary stories they just roll their eyes... theyve heard worse
zooble being a horror/disturbing media fan headcanon my beloved, they probably try to one up him... though theyre not taking it very seriously. theyre not all that interested in winning, but jax is and hes going to get annoying
if they go out and interact with everyone else, theyll go to their room when theyre ready to sleep. they dont want to sleep on the floor in some sleeping bag.. offers to walk you to your room if the horror talk got to you
gangle
sits in her own corner doing her own thing, you can convince her to join in on the more tame games if you promise to stick with her
sticks around with you after that but like... lingering to the side, not really glued to your side because she doesnt want to invade your personal space or make you feel uncomfortable
very quiet if you offer to let her lay down next to her in the night
its a little less awkward if her comedy mask isnt broken but knowing how fragile it is, its unlikely
refuses to participate in any games like 2 truths 1 lie or truth or dare- she just knows jax is going to hang whatever she says over her head even if hes not the one asking her questions
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hobiespick · 3 months ago
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Heya! I was wondering if you got any headcanons for Sam Winchester x werewolf! Reader, except, reader can actually turn whenever she (or gn if you want) wants, and the only real thing a full moon does is force her to be in her werewolf form (aka force her to keep the wolf teeth and claws out for no reason)
The thing that should not be
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Pairings : Sam Winchester x reader
a/n : FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HI, HELLO, IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG I SUCK SO BAD, IM SO SORRY. My requests aren't open (yet) but its not even your fault I should have 100% specified that, but this is my first ever ask and ur also one of my favourite moots and I didn't want to dissapoint so here are some fuckinf cute Sam x Werewolf!Reader. I felt the carnal need to write a metric fuckton of context before getting into the actual headcanons (which are very long I have no idea if they can be considered as hcs) so the reader gets beaten up by earth-shattering plot purposes :3. Sammy juicy headcanons start when you see the '🧿' emoji if you don't wanna read the context (melodramatic sigh). And yes the title of the fic is based on the metallica song :). as always, enjoy my shitty thoughts <3
Warnings: angst with comfort (no don't clap it's fine, omg ur makin me blush); guess who joined the cool kids club and uses "____." instead of "Y/n"; literally a flash of gore, shitty dad(s), fake death, mentions of suicide, Sam looks at you and goes DO YOU WANT M-; Dean being himself; reader is also a hunter and has been raised like that (fml); Dean makes a twillight refrence; reader is frankenstein coded in the most nuanced way, Mary Shelley please don't haunt me; Dean is very happy to have a bestfriend/sister :)
word count: 8,102
- Okay, so for starters, the fact that you aren't actually a monster (you don't get the urge to kill or wreak havoc) is actually a supernatural miracle.
Your parents haven't talked to you since you called them the night you were hunting a werewolf and told them, horror-struck between sniffles and voice cracks, that it bit you, and you’re going to turn, and you’re horrified, and you’re going to drive home to put a pistol in your father's hand and hopefully stop you from turning in the thing you shouldn't be.
Your father replied, after successfully not saying a word besides "Hey, kid-" before getting cut off by you and your hiccups. He sank his teeth into the inside of his cheek, enough to draw blood.
"You are not to come home; your mother won't bear to see you like this."
Your father objected before telling you you can finish the job by yourself; you always have.
He abruptly ended the phonecall like you weren't his daughter, more like an annoying salesman. You don't know what he'll say to your mother after that call; that was the hospital, and you tragically died? "Died a hero.." Your father would say when he described another hunter's tragic passing at the dinner table—paranormal tragic passing. So paranormal that your mother had knocked on wood and prayed it wouldn't get you or your family.
So you don't call, It's really me, dad. I'm fine, I figured it out by myself. How could you? after him suggesting it's better to kill yourself than take a shot at finding a solution together? You would rather have him believe you're dead. Or at least cry with you; it's okay, honey. come home; it'll be okay, spend the last days at home, please-
The last word you get from him is a text message you are too quick to open on your flip-phone to see the next day. When you rub at your eyebags after tracking down a witch, the witch. It was the second day when everything about you felt off; you were squemish, anxious, and haven't left your motel room all day. if you get this—the message read, "if you get this?!" if you get this, if you get this, if you get this—your brain repeats it over and over, taking the words apart and tattooing itself that phrase, because it held much more meaning to it than your father probably didn't intend; he would hear it if he read it before sending, you thought, that little 'if' haunting and tormenting like a damn demon. if you haven't already killed yourself; if you haven't already turned into something that took my daughter, my pride and joy, away from me; if you haven't already died–
- speaking to you like he's directly referring to the disease in your veins. Your brain moves on and reads the next ridiculous waste of your attention. I wanted you to know I told your mother that it was the hospital I was talking to yesterday, calling that you’re dead, house fire, so no remains to pick up—Damn, you know him or what? Even your fake death is stripped away from it's respect—"no remains to pick up"—like a toppled statue, a monument of what was once a hero (in dad's old-fashioned monster-hunting world), shattered and insignificant, no longer breathing or living, if you ever even had. Or a tree struck by lighting, again, "no remains to pick up" no meaningful remains or genuinely nothing, just a memory of another young hunter who died 'tragically'. You could imagine your tombstone with an even dumber epitaph to match it and an empty or nonexistent grave lying six feet underneath for closure. Your eyes move on, there will be a funeral with no grave, of course, I just wanted you to know that your mother and everyone else is devastated, we miss you, sugar. I love you, kid. Your father had overestimated your suicidal tendencies, and the way he didn't try to save his daughter in order to not go against the rules and possibilities of hunting only showed you how much he loves you.
So you track down the witch. You barely make it to her doorstep when she opens it with a too reassuring smile, saying your name and that she expected you, even going as far as offering you tea after opening the door and letting you in, to which you declined. You're not an idiot. But you do sit down, forced, when she, Willow Thorne, won't have you, a guest, standing up, a whole damn hunter being forced to sit down and accept being treated kindly like you deserve. When you walked in, the entire image of a satanic worshipper who sold her soul to demons and hexed everybody—that you betted all your life savings fitted the description of Willow shattered and laughed in your face.
Her home was filled with plants hanging and resting in every corner she could place; various crystals were sitting in cute porcelain plates like candy, candles of different colors on a bookshelf filled with books like The Language of Flowers, Astronomy for Beginners, and Sigils. Even more crystals, bigger and taller ones on a purple tablecloth. The house is adorned in shades of dark purple, violet, green, and warm colors. This home was a whimsigothic musem that would send your thirteen-year-old self into a shrieking, excited mess. Your parents never let you own crystals or a tarot deck; they were too afraid you'd turn darkside one way or another. well, mommy, daddy, if you could see me right now with lycanthrope blood pumping through my veins.
Willow Thorne is a wiccan type of witch; she does not receive her power from demons; she receives her magic from nature and probably practices her witchcraft the way she sees fit. This doesn't help build back the distrust you were trained to have in her. You flinch when you feel a tail curling around your bouncing leg; you glance down, and your eyes are met with a black cat's green ones—this must be her familiar—the little words on his purple collar reading 'Creek'. She gives you another flash of her warm smile and starts talking about her cat. This can't be real. Your every instinct screams that you should take her down or that she will take you down. Your options shrink the longer you stay. You keep a hand anxiously fiddling with your belt, thinking about the gun in your waistband. She's deceiving you with honeyed words and unassuming appearance; who the fuck knows, maybe the cat is manipulating you too. Throwing up would be the calmest reaction you could have right now, because the thoughts in your head started going at each other's throats and doubting in this situation could get you killed. Thoughts like, fuck her, her cozy house with purple witchy twitchy girl interior, and her affectionate black cat she mentioned she rescued when nobody would because of superstitions—you curse in your head, you're not actually upset at her although you do not let your guard down, you're upset at yourself for being so easily coaxed into trusting her, it's all too easy, and it is intimidating you.
You're pretty sure you're gonna rip your vocal cords out of frustration and an overall feeling of overwhelmingness; everything seems to piss you off today, even more than usual. How are you good?! All bright and beaming with nothing but positivity. You're not supposed to be good! I have believed all my life you aren't!..are you like me too? A thing that should not be? Before breaking down and crying about your situation, and if you did, she would make you that tea and rub your back with her hand that radiated ease and made you slump your shoulders with relief.
Before you get other fun thoughts like Am I on the wrong side of the war? You start discussing bussiness since you forgot that's what your here for. Even if your eyes water like a little kid after being scolded for something they didn't do, your voice is nowhere near close to sounding like one. You demand a cure, bargaining for a deal to stop the lycanthropy metamorphosis you feel taking over little by little and make you human again. If she can't, you have a gun with silver bullets in your trunk and your will written out, but by now it probably has no significance.
Much to your disappointment, she—Willow—insisted you called her, tells you she cannot take away your curse, but she can soothe it a little, keep it in a cage locked deep into your subconscious. In exchange, she could ask for fucking anything in the world, but she wants loyalty.
"Define, loyalty." You ask through gritted teeth, yeah, that will stop the tears, definitely, great intimidation skills, _____ .
"I'm talking about respect, mutual aid, when it all comes down for me, when I get threatened by a hunter, I want you to be there. I need you to have my back." She admitted, studying your eyes trying to reslove the conflict in them, anything that could give her hope. You couldn't explain this to anyone, ever, Yeah I almost turned into a werewolf once but my witch friend did a ritual on me, so i'm all good now.
Willow is now sitting on an ottoman facing her couch, where you're sitting. Her hands fidget with her bracelets until she clasps them together, and she is leaning towards you. Her gentle tone is imbued with gentle authority that commands her mutual respect without making her overbearing. Keeping steady eye contact, she is discussing serious matters with a serious tone like she should. You can't lie, it catches you off-guard, it herds you in the corner and softly shakes your shoulders, forcing you to listen.
You'd be every synonym in the dictionary for the word 'idiot' if you hadn't accepted this deal. You shake hands, and the warm smile she wears causes a domino effect, making you do the same, even if you had been crying.
It's a funky ritual. She makes you lay on the couch while she lights all sorts of candles; she closes the curtains even though it's already dark so light cannot come in. The only light present is the salt lamp in the far corner and the numeruous lighted candles. She even has to kick Creek out of the room, much to the cat's protests outside the door. They slowly come to a stop as he finds something that's more interesting than whatever ritual his owner is cooking up with a guest—that he feels drawn to for whatever reason. You feel nervous, and she feels nervous too, because you are. Willow reassures you and tells you that after it ends you will pass out for a while, but that's fine because she says you can spend the night if she isn't pushing it.
The celling becomes your newest fascination, and you study every small bump and gray spot in order to distract your mind from... well, thinking. Not for the ritual, but for reassurance, she lies and says you have to hold her hand. Her warm hand against yours seems to punch out of your lungs every doubt whether this will work or not and the sadness your father produced with an unfatherly amount of bluntness and cold parenting that was the verbal equivalent of stabbing your spine and twisting the knife, but you can't pull out the knife, well, you can try, but it will hurt even worse and it will infect spreading yellow or purple marks around it–. She—her hand—has the ability to make you breathe again without feeling like you have leg irons around your neck dragging it down and hands squashing your lungs to bits. She speaks incantations in what you know is latin and instructs you to close your eyes. You swear you hear a candle stop burning in the process—something you can't physically hear, but you had. You can make out a few words (your ears keep ringing and something is happening because you hear her voice; it's distorted and weird, but she told you, strictly, not to open your eyes, so you don't). Words like: lupus-wolf, tollere-take away? You're not sure on that one; that's what three straight days of crying might do to one, mutare- which means change. Okay, that was a nice distraction now what el–
You feel the imprint of a huge dog-like paw pressing into your Adam's apple and cutting off your breath. She obviously takes notice by the way you're writhing and choking and swatting away at nothing—something you're trying to fight even with closed eyes, but there is nothing there. Your palm doesn't make contact with anything. Quickly, Willow chants something you're too busy choking to catch. The pressure on your throat dissolves, and you can breathe again. She calms her own breath and squeezes your hand. When she doesn't feel you squeeze back, she remembers that you're supposed to pass out after the spell. Willow drapes a blanket on you and goes off to order something to eat. When she opens the living room door, Creek doesn't hesitate to run in and settle on your chest. The cat purrs as he patiently waits for you to wake up.
You wake up fifteen minutes later with the smell of food flooding your nostrils, stronger than it has ever been before. It's almost like it's sitting right under your nose. You open your eyes, and the smell has a color, and you can clearly see how it snakes its way in from the kitchen into the half-open door. Your nails feel heavier than usual. This is hopefully a fever dream. But the food isn't here, nor is Willow; you can hear her humming a song in the kitchen, Voodoo Chile by Jimi Hendrix.
The weight of the shadow on your chest brings you back to earth, and you run your hands through his black fur with closed eyes as your head falls back onto the couch. The feeling of fur on your fingertips feeding to your serotonin levels rising. Creek seems to know what it's like to be disowned by your own father and forced to have a fake death in order to 'die' in a way that won't make your mother think you were cursed, or worse, that the whole family is now. Creek notices you're awake and gets off you, but not before making biscuits.
"Thanks, Creek." You mumble before pushing yourself up in a sitting position with a groan.
You can feel the rich, velvety, dark green rug beneath your socks; you would have appreciated it properly if you could actually see the details woven into it. Your eyes keep focusing and unfocusing like they're getting adjusted, and the room doesn't seem so dark anymore. God, how long did you pass out? As you tried to gather your thoughts (if the spell was easy on you enough to actually leave some), memories of the ritual came flooding back—the chanting in latin, the flickering candle(s), the punching smell of herbs, the murder attempt from a wolf spirit/ghost?! who the hell knows anymore? Now you were wide awake, and everything felt different. If it weren't for the fucking ritual that was just performed on you, you would've blamed the faint ringing in your years, shitty eyesight, and banging headache on a terrible hangover or a cold so bad it would make your throat ache for the tea your mom would make you when your immune system failed you. She promised she would teach me how to make it. Your grief echoed to you.
You rub at your temples at thats when you notice why did your nails feel heavier than usual. You had fucking claws, well, not animal claws, but they are honorably elongated and sharper than they had ever been. As you looked up from your lap, your eyes fell on a mirror.
A tall mirror leaning on its back legs, with black edges and details on the rim, you would again appreciate if you had the ability to see a single thing in the distance.
Your eyes widened, mortified, seeing yourself. It looked like one of your parents's worst nightmares. Something out of a dream your mom would have—a nightmare so nasty and vivid she would be forced by her paranoia to get up and check that you're still in bed sleeping soundly.
Your eyes were no longer the familiar color you have seen in the mirror or in old photos of your family members you've grown to love. The shade wasn't even close to yours; crazy how one small change made such a big difference in your appearance. Your pupils were slitted vertically, shrinking only to dilate a little once again, getting adjusted. You slowly got up on foal legs and fell on your knees in front of the mirror. Even if you didn't think it was night because you weren't seeing darkness, the light of the moon shone down on the mirror and floor thanks to the now open curtains. That's when your vision stopped unfocusing and finally cleared.
You were now looking at yourself. It felt incredibly alien and familiar at the same time; you looked at yourself every day, whether it was the mirror in your bathroom at home, a crappy motel one that faced the bed (which you cover up with a scoff each time), or a reflection in the car of your vanity mirror checking yourself before going in a precinct, pretending to be a reporter (the things middle-aged pigs would confess to a doe-eyed girl from the press..).
You gently pulled the corner of your upper lip only to reveal your enlarged and sharpened front canines. Your hand fell and instead went to cover your mouth in order to muffle your sobs. You must have done a horrible job because the second you slapped the hand over your mouth, you heard Willlow gasp as if she felt it too.
She drops the food she was unpacking and runs in, taking a moment to calm her heaving chest in the doorway; her hands were holding it like an earthquake had shaked her up; even her round glasses had slipped and rested on the tip of her nose.
"_______, you woke up!" she exclaims cheerfully. "I was just—how do you fee-?"
She kept stuttering and cutting herself off. Willow didn't need to say anything else; she saw the tears welling up in your eyes and felt the same shock you did from the kitchen.
🧿🧿🧿- later on, you have to bump into the Winchesters one way or another
- and it's exactly on a full moon when this time the ball isn't in your court and you don't get to decide whether you turn or not.
- your claws are sharp, your eyes have changed their original color completely with your pupils vertically slit, and your teeth (conveniently) remain the same; only a few of your front canines are enlarged and sharpened.
- as for senses, it's downright spectacular.
- you can hear deer stepping on tree branches, foxes running, and owls hooting when you're driving by the forest
- you smell how many people are in a room
- you have night vision (yes, your eyes to the flashy thingamajiggy when someone blinds you with their flashlight).
- as a hunter, you already know that your claws and fangs can rip out a human heart.
- ironically, as this whole situation is, you hunt alone on the principle that you don't long for companionship as some lycanthropes do.
- you've turned into a literal killing machine with no instinct to kill, so hunting with others is off the table since at the first sign of a threat (they think you are one, but you really aren't), a hunter exterminates.
- you meet the Winchesters on a ghoul hunt
- you have taken the case before them, but when you couldn't get anywhere with identifying whatever evil being was tormenting the locals with their mere presence, you thought about ditching it since it doesn't look like your type of thing and took the consideration that maybe humans were fucking around this time.
- so when you heard the FBI are in town investigating the case (detective Page and Plant), you placed that town in your rear view mirror; they got it covered..right?
- but something didn't feel right- it wasn't the shame of leaving a case with your tail between your legs (pun intended) with the weak motive, 'Maybe humans are really fucking around this time.'
- something wasn't right, so even if you were tired, you abruptly stopped the car and went over your research spread out on the flat of your closed trunk
- the slits of your eyes dance over the words on your laptop, your papers, and an old lore book you fought tooth and nail for. When you realized it's a ghoul you're dealing with, you turned the car around and went over every speed limit like hellhounds were scratching at your tires. It was your job to not let anybody else get hurt or someone else's grave be violated
- as the light of the moon shined down on you and your wild eyes looked back at you from the rear view mirror, you knew you couldn't have anyone see you, you had to be invisible
- *time skip* (as much as it pains me 'cause i am a sucker for details :))- you swoop in time to save the Winchesters
- and if they weren't tied up, they would've started fighting you too, because why was there a whole ass werewolf fist fighting a ghoul?? John trained them like Spartan warriors, but nothing prepared them for something like this.
- so they sit there like:??????
- they watch you take out a fucking ghoul all by yourself
- the head of the ghoul's person they're impersonating rolls onto the floor. You have to remind yourself it's not a real person; it's an evil spirit who kills to feed
- by the time you wipe the blood off your face, smearing it a bit in the process, and cut the ties holding the hunters loose, Sam is unnable to look away from your slit eyes adorned by a strange color that strangely suits you
- literally hearts in his fawn brown eyes like you still don't have blood on your face and you aren't trying to catch your breath; also, you took a nasty punch to your cheek, and he's pretty sure it's gonna leave a bruise, but he totally doesn't care, why? why do you ask?
- by the way Sam is scrunitizing you, and oh yeah, Sam is scrunitizing you, you're sure you're gonna have to ditch since you've been in this situation before and you know how it always ends
- there was no 'explaining yourself' to hunters when they saw you under the full moon or when they saw you change because you had to.
Before you can even open your mouth they have their methaphorical pitchforks sharpened and torches lit up, prepared to slaughter you, and if you're honest, you can't even blame them for it because you would've done the same.
- Dean rubs his wrist with his right hand; the imprint of the rope is still fresh on his skin like a tattoo. Sam focuses on not choking when you catch him staring.
"Who the hell are you?" Dean thinks out loud. You take a big lungs-exploding sigh and give a shot at introducing yourself since they seem more civilized than most hunters are
- Sam geeks out about you
He doesn't question you because he is suspicious (he has the right to be but surprisingly isn't). He has to feed his noisy, information-hungry brain or he will spontaneously combust
- "Are your senses even more enhanced during the full moon, or are they the same?"
- "Can you smell when somebody is afraid? Like the hormones from their pores?"
- "Is it annoying to always have super hearing? Like has it ever caused you to be..I don't know.. Anxious? It did?" He mourns over you, trying to imagine himself in your situation but possibly can't.
- "I'm really sorry you had to go through a whole..change all by yourself, but it just shows how strong you are, some don't even make it 'til the end."
- After you were done explaining to Sam (to which he gladly sat himself down and listened) how sometimes you genuinely consider you're inevitably going to become what you hunt and how in the beginning you and your senses have butted heads, how you had no idea how to go through it without having panic attacks because the click of a doorknob was sensitive to your hearing like a veteran was scared of fireworks, how you accidentally ripped a motel door off its hinges, a result of you being slightly irritated, still getting acoustumed to your abilities. Dean would go.
"..Do dog whistles work on y–" Before getting an elbow in the ribs by a glaring Sam.
- more shit Dean would ask you for the sake of his own little curiosity
- "Is 'bitch' even more offensive now?"
- "Who do you think would win in a fight? You or Jacob Black?"
- "What do I smell like? Y'know, since you can pick up on scents and alldat."
- Dean calls you Cujo
- It's the one nickname you can get behind, asking him what he thought about the book, and he's like, "Oh, I watched the movie, but i know a little. Sammy used to rattle on and on about his books when he was younger."
- if you think about it, an alais doesn't sound so bad in theory or practice while hunting.
- it's secretive, the boys don't need to divulge your real name, and it's actually high-key kickass (I literally watched Cujo just so I know what I'm talking about, a.k.a. the second reason why it took a millenium and a half for me to post these; the first reason is that i suck)
- Dean is thrilled to get to call you that- he gets this fucking smirk, like a dad about to drop the worst joke ever made on everyone, you and Sam brace yourselves for what's coming with matching eyerolls-
"Let's fuck em' up, Cujo."
- "Cujo, dude, you're just itching to raise a little hell right now, aren't you?"
- "Uh- a bacon cheeseburger, soda, yo, Cujo whaddya want? My treat >:]."
- "Cujo, put on that song you were listening to; I had it in my head the entire hunt." (I didn't mention the genre or artist bc I like to imagine Dean listening to everyone's fav category; ex. I imagine Dean screaming bikini kill lyrics whenever i'm sad)
- if you thought the 'canine/wolf' teasing stopped here, you're so painfully wrong
- Dean made you a mixtape, because that's his love language apparently, with only songs that are about werewolves
- I feel like it took him a longer time to find a suitable title than the songs themselves
- he has all of the possible picks on a piece of paper that stays in the pocket of his fifty pound leather jacket.
- the titles are: Songs to transform into; The howlin' hits; Songs that will make you wag your tail—that one is crossed out because he knows you will make him eat the tape if he does settle on it; Love at first bite; and finally the one he settled for is Songs you can sink your teeth into. Dean smiled at his work, it didn't feel like a prank anymore it was more like a gift and he didn't feel any ugly emotion or insecurity try to pull him back into not getting attached to you.
The final touch was a note saying
"Hey, Cujo, thought you might want these howlin' hits whenever you need to tune the world out.
P.S. : Sam told me to add one of the songs, it's that punk stuff you like - Dean"
- The songs he prudently picked out are these : Of Wolf and Man by Metallica; Bark at the Moon by Ozzy Osbourne; I Was A Teenage Werewolf by The Cramps; Wolf Moon by Type O Negative; Witch Wolf by STYX; Run with the Wolf by Rainbow; Lycanthropy by G.B.H and others.
- you accidentally made a kid cry once- a ball was literally flying towards you and you caught it just in time, thanks to your reflexes
- instinctively, you turned around in time and caught the ball as your claws grew and sank into the inanimate object
- it's all "Nice relfexes, _____" praise from Dean and proud and shy smiles from Sam until the owner of the ball starts sobbing in front of you
- it's a kid, a boy with red hair, no older than six years of age
- but we all know Dean's charm is basically made for this
- so he handles both the kid and his mom (flirting with a milf all day, poor Dean)
- you keep apologizing to the kid and the mom, but Dean just waves you off; you don't understand his generosity until Sam tells you that you accidentally secured Dean's hookup for tonight.
- Since Dean is not coming, not until early morning, nor is he there to call you and Sam 'dorks', you and his younger brother take advantage of it.
- you guys have a movie night with the most random movies ever
- it is chaotic
- from rom-coms you switch to a world war II documentary, then you watch re-runs of House MD on tv.
- Dean stumbles in at like five something a.m. and takes a picture of you and Sam snuggling under a blanket while the tv light casts shadows of orange and cold colors on your defenseless expressions.
- but can somebody actually blame you? Or Sam, for that matter?
- honorably want to mention your body heat is also enhanced
- You and Sam were sitting with your sides pressed into each other
- you were radiating pure furnace body heat, how could he not be sleepy??
- but that's not the only reason Sam knocks out so heavily
- it's you he's sitting down with (relaxing for once in his life) watching a ridiculous episode of House with thirteen ads rolling every ten minutes accompanied by lazy talking as if you're not debating books only you and morally grey forty-year-olds read (where that Kansas drawl of his is much more audible and pretty), after a marathon of fatally random movies
- younger Sam who had trouble going to sleep/getting some shut-eye because Dean and John are out late on a hunt.
- Sam especially couldn't fall asleep because Dean wasn't there
- it was a different story when Dean was at the age where he couldn't hunt but he could use a pistol and take care of his little brother
- both of them in a relatively warm motel room, alone (since John fucked off to god-knows-where, to hunt a monster they are never to breathe in the direction of as a conversation subject.)
- little Sammy (age where he believed nothing could beat his older brother) could peacefully fall asleep knowing Dean stays up and watches over him like a hawke, reading comic books by the tv light
- where little Dean keeps chanting in his head what Sammy is supposed to do after eating his dinner.
- Watch tv or look at the comic with me (Sammy can't read yet), brush his teeth, then tuck him in bed.
- now pre-teen Sam can hardly sleep
- he is plagued/tormented by flashing images his overthinking big brain mades of a thousand situations where his family got hurt, if not even killed
- Sam's grip on the shotgun is shaking; it shakes even harder when John's bark booms over his shoulder, right into his ear.
- "Sammy, dammit, what are you going to do when a demon breaks through the door and me and your brother aren't there to protect you?!"
- but Sam isn't twelve anymore
- he's a responsible adult
- snuggled beside you and denying any eepy allegations you decide to accuse him of
- so, the heat you contribute, the soft speaking on the tv, the darkness of the room, you being there is enough to lull Sam to sleep
- studies show you feel sleepy around the people you trust ;)
- the position you two fell asleep in cannot be described in any other word than childish
- somehow you would catch two kids, sleeping over at one of the other's houses, knocked out, and snoring in the same bed after watching a horror movie
- on one of the two queens the motel room contributes (the one closest to the tv) you and Sam have made this fluffy nest full of pillows, a huge blanket, plus a random quilt Bobby pulled out of thin air and gave it to you when he heard you complaining about the petal-thin blankets motels have during cold ass weather.
- When you both lied down on the bed with your legs greedily streched out, backs pressed against the headboard, and your head is resting on the wall while Sam, magically, was still able to hold his up after the very long day all of you endured. You predicted one of you wouldn't survive being in each other's presence and make it out not asleep, and god, you hoped it was you.
- Sam's breathing slows down after a while of comfortable silence, and you’re sure he's dying until you spare one quick glance and see him, downright snoozing with his lips parted without a care in the world, ghosts and eerie phenomenons weren't bothering or needing him now.
- during all of the movies and documentary and fuckin lazy intellectual commentary nobody else would have the patience to discuss with you or Sam, he somehow migrated on the bed/nest with his side flush against yours, like a magnet to another; it was inevitable not to stick together, literally.
- your shoulder was now pressed into his forearm, your head no longer resting uncomfortably, and his temple is resting on the top of your head.
- but (unfortunately) you weren't hugging or anything- like a mirror or a copycat, Sam has his arms crossed, just like you, so maybe that's why you didn't wake up full on cuddling, that does sound good though your brain mourns
- When you do wake up, the only slight change you notice is that you're sleeping on your side..so is Sam. You're facing Sam's neck and chin, and up close and personal, you can actually count the too-sexy amount of moles he modestly posesses. His arm serves the role of a pillow underneath his head, and the other is resting with his palm down facing the mattress.
- with Sam taking up the entire attention of your senses, it takes an emmbarassing while for you to hear the shower running, Dean; did he see you both like this? Was he going to mention it? Your gut fills with a small dose of embarrassement, preparing you for what's yet to come, and it protests at that.
- much displeasure from your senses to your brain and your heart that wanted to breathe Sam in more as he (hopefully) breathes you out, you turn on your other side, unconsciously careful not to disturb Clifford over here, and you try to determine what time it is from your surroundings alone.
- the light blue sneaking its way through the dark closed curtains and the slight chill in the air points all arrows to seven or eight in the morning, you could go back to sleep.
- Dean wasn't just feeling gracious; he didn't and wasn't even planning on sparing you or Sam
- that day, when he separately gets the both of you alone, he has the exact same conversation with different but not so different people.
-"You should've seen the two of you this morning when I came in, two kittens snoring together, it was fuckin' adorable." Dean teased–
—Monday, 13:34 p.m. — as he tossed his clothes into one of the laundromat's washing machines, making Sam paralyze in his seat as his fingers started fidgeting with the edges of his hoodie.
"You did?.." He inquires, not knowing what exactly Dean saw just this morning. Sam only woke up a little after you went back to sleep. He swore his cheek must have burned a hole through the pillow with how hard he was blushing. You were so close. There was a good distance between the edge of the bed and you. So your back was flush against his chest. If you're wondering where his arm went, it was around your waist. Sam—your own personal seatbelt. He probably thinks it's his fault too. Dean never ceased to describe Sam as a 'cuddlebug'.
"Uh-huh" Dean hums a confirmation, acting casual, scarily casual. Sam feels the teasing in Dean's tone; it's there, but Dean is not fully teasing yet, like he wants Sam to confess something first after boiling in his embarrassement for long enough.
—Monday, 20:02 p.m. — as he pulled the Impala into the driveway of a fast-food place you were so invested in you even forgot the name of; you froze and looked at him, searching for any emotion that might give him away, but Dean was a brick wall, a slight very Dean siginificant parted lips smirk paired with squinted eyes over the wheel, carefully driving into the driveway. Even the car seemed to betray you in your moment of weakness because you swear the volume is lower than it was a few seconds ago. Ozzy Osbourne's laugh can still be heard from the speakers, even if it's barely audible over your racing thoughts or your hearing trying its hardest to pick up on Dean's thoughts. The rythym of the drums seems to sync up with your heartbeat, or the other way around, you're not sure. Over every little sound, there still seems to be a little silence to fit in. You swallow a lump in your throat.
"..We had a movie night, we just fell asleep like that, that's all." You mumble, and Dean starts to feel a little bad for letting you be a victim to his spotlight-teasing and giving you no shade to reprieve to or show his undying approval.
Somehow, you still worry if Dean believes you have ruined the dynamic, and now he's cornering you to tell you to stop it or something (overthinking anxiety worms are eating away at your critical thinking skills). You just worry about what he thinks of this. You still worry about the Dean who doesn't correct random people on cases who mistake you and Sam for a couple; the Dean who just has to leave some arsenal or luggage in the front, just so you are forced to share the backseat with Sam; the Dean who always has to group you and Sam in a category when he teases you both (Geeks, nerds, smartasses, etc.). Cupid works hard, but Dean Winchester works harder.
"Hey-, Cuj- Doll." Dean sputters, switching glances between you and the wheel.
This didn't go as he planned it would, and now he is facing the consequences. The way you shrink in your seat and the way you avoid catching his eye makes Dean feel like a douchebag. If he didn't know any better he would thinks he is, but then you would actually be able to read him like a book and tell him otherwise. You hear the desperation in his voice; your candle of hope comes back to life and lights up. Your head turns to look at him with pleading eyes. Please don't be angry, please don't kick me to the curb, let me stay in the backseat a little more. Dean lets out a shaky exhale that turns into a laugh; he runs a hand down his face. You've watched him do that every time he got jumpscared by the monthly spirit with unfinished business. It was something you imagined Dean picked up from John, the picture in your head so clear (at least from the pictures you saw)— a tired dad in an old squeaky motel chair with a whiskey glass in his hand doing the same motion Dean was doing right now. Dean would mimic his father's gestures to try to look more like him; he didn't have his brunette curly hair, his dark brown eyes, Sam did.
Dean never had his voice either; he only perfected his bark to match his dad's. Sam hated the way his reflection resembled his father, Dean was either jealous of him for it or couldn't wrap his head around as to why his brother hated being their dad, probably the latter. Dad, at least in Dean's eyes, was a hero, a figure to be admired and emulated. But Sam? He didn't even have to try. Sam and John were so alike that they clashed constantly like two stubborn stags locking antlers in a duel.
"..Dean?" You call him out; you had no idea what was going on in his head; it would be pretty damn nice if you could know. Dean shots his head up at the mention of his name.
"Yeah?—sorry, I just, you and Sam are just so—" He sighs. "it's about time you two crazy kids broke that touch barrier." He guffaws, slowly pulling up to the ordering kiosk.
A new song starts playing on Dean's "hot summa' nights driving" mixtape, Emmit Remmus by The Red Hot Chili Peppers, he added it when Sam said that's one of his favorites.
- do I need to talk about how much of an immense help you have been on hunts?
- you don't need to help out on every hunt despite Sam's disappointment and Dean's kid-like joy to have their friend help them out who is a professional/werewolf/hunter/geek, who kind of gets his references?? But you are geniunely so good it's funny to have the boys call you up and be like "..so we need help". They're happy you'll show up but there is still that lick of shame that taunts the Winchesters whenever they are forced to call for aid.
- this one time, you wanted to hug them after not seeing them for two weeks, and when you went to attack Sam, you heard his bones crack.
- your strength still surprises you and knocks other people off their feet
- it was so loud (atleast for you), you were sure you broke something
- Sam did nothing but give you his (killer) dimply smile and reassure you didn't do anything (even if he slightly grunted); while Dean whined like a kid saying (lying) he doesn't want a hug (you coaxed him into it eventually)
- Sam feels like he's not allowed to call you by your nickname, like he fears it's Dean's thing and not his
- so when he finally puts on his big boy pants, he's like, "Uhh–Cujo- 🧍‍♂️so get this.."
- all red and shy, trying to act casual, as if he doesn't wonder about the reaction you might have if he calls you other nicknames, like honey, sweetheart, even baby, or if he had the excuse to hold your hand, how would you hold it? Fingers interlocked or palms flat?
- Sam would also love to just marvel at your slit eyes; if he could he would take a picture and put it in his wallet; don't get me wrong if he had one where you were normal, he would cherish it just as much.
- Sam thinks your nickname is actually really cool (probably because it's a Stephen King reference, nerd), and you take that as a compliment. Sam is hard to entertain or please by his brother's antics.
- But he prefers saying your name
- there's something so intimate about the syllables rolling off his tongue so easily
- "_____, Are you okay? What is it? The soundproof earmuffs? I'll go get them." When everything, and I mean when every sound is just too much.
- Sam got them for you; he couldn't handle seeing you wince one more time whenever a car with a bad engine would pass by the motel (during a stressful hunt); its tires squealing under the concrete, making a faint sound for the boys, but for you so much louder.
- you know how pathethic it is to be affected by such small things when you're blessed with such powers? How can you call yourself a hunter when decibels, frequencies, and fucking tire squeals make you their bitch? You wish you could train yourself in a way that would make you less sensitive to certain sounds. It just adds to the reasons why hunters have the excuse or classify you as "the frail one" not only because you're a girl. When you used to hunt with your dad and sometimes mom, the amount of dog-shit comments from other hunters who had sons, were nothing but mysogynistic, curlish, and ruthless. "Are you sure the riffle isn't too heavy?", "Does she even know how to kill this thing?", "She's going to drag us down, do you want us to die?"— the type of comments that would make your dad shoot daggers into them, defend you "She's a goddamn ______, what do you think?", and whisper into your ear "Show em' what you're made of." and you would (stubbornly) listen to his advice to the damn letter after you almost mouthed them off.
Your dad believed in "Actions are sometimes louder than words." and all that adult crap, you were not as zen.
Your mom actually encouraged the sarcasm you have replied with in the past. The funniest memory your mother can recall is a story she tells at every gathering and every chance she gets to everyone, she praised you like crazy. When another hunter's son had the nerve to fuck with a twelve-year-old you. "Aren't you afraid of breaking a nail out there?" The boy sneered, puffing out his chest like a peacock. You stared at him with pure disbelief. "The only way I'm breaking a nail tonight is by kicking your ass, you cocky brainless jerk." You spat back, your mother and father were there and so was the boy's father; the gravity of the situation was on your shoulders, and their stares felt even heavier in comparison; intimidating him was 100% on the table. You felt like everyone had the same exact thought occuring them, an unspoken demand passed everyone there, even you: Do something. And you did. Your mother's jaw went slack; she doubled over, gripping whatever surface was near her and she started to chortle, with her shoulders shaking like never before. Your father was holding in a chuckle while massaging the bridge of his nose.
- Sam has to disagree with you whenever you complain about how your senses make you look or about the way you underestimate yourself. "What?! You can't be serious. _____, It doesn't mean you're weak. In fact, it makes you even more interesting. Everyone has an Achilles heel; yours is stronger because you're an amazing hunter who figured a way out. It makes you even stronger, I have no idea how you deal with this crap! Dean and I would've gone insane if we were in your shoes for more than a day."
- he is also forcing back his infamous (spectacular) bitchface
- he doesn't 'hold back' actually
- he geniunely cannot glare at you, not when you're like this. He can make a few exceptions, like when you join in Dean's teasing/joking (the silly rambunctious energy Dean carries around had, unfortunately, contiminated you or awakened yours)
- or when you start teasing Sam yourself, he shoots you a glare that classifies as nothing but hot (in your book at least), the kind of Sam glare that makes you flush knowing he doesn't mean it at all.
- Dean making you those fake ass I.D's like "Joan Jett", "Stevie Nicks", "Kathleen Hanna" and when you asked him to make more subtle ones he was like, bet. "Kelly Hammer", "Diana Bowie", "Laura Ulrich".
a/n: I wanted to apologize again for taking so long and for the unnecessary amount of context that literally nobody asked for. Uhh yeah and feedback would be very much appreciated<3, sava out *mic drop*
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starreyblueberry · 1 month ago
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OH MY GOD THIS IS A LONG FUCKING POST.. SORRY GUYSS LOL Ok but if im being serious here's how I think a how-to train your dragon/fairly odd parents au could come about. First of all it depends on how we change the storyline, if we go for the OG story with just a few tweaks, then I want Timmy to be hiccup and Peri to be toothless. Timmy already feels left out and excluded by his peers half the time, and I could see him trying to invent items and creations to help hunt Dragons in the first place. His dad being the head of the village and obvi being a dragon hunter. Dragons in this au though would be able to do magic as well, they would be able to understand humans a bit better (but are still essentially animals). My idea for how exactly the war starts. Kids used to run away frequently, rather its cause they feel shut out, neglected, abused, or cause they just hated where they were, they would run off deep deep into the forest, with a bag of food and water in their hand that can only last them a few days. After realizing what they've got themselves into, it would just be pure dread, they would run around screaming for help, but they were in a maze of trees and wilderness, basically making it impossible for a child to actually find where they can go home! Thats where the dragon part comes in! Dragons would hear their cries, and help children get back home. They would help them survive, give them food and water, and whenever a kid said "I wish" it just so happened to appere next to them! Dragons were able to understand humans quite well, and they formed a bond with a lot of these kids, but were quick to part once they helped the kids find their way home. Once home these children would share stores of their adventures, these dragons, and at first they would seem crazy, but too many kids were hashing out the same story, and it started to become a bit suspicious. One of these children was crcokers ancestors! uhh ill call him CA for short!! He ran off, cried, and got a dragon to help him with whatever he was going though and take hi home. He told his mom with so much excitement! Describing these pink and green dragons- with spikes shaped like stars, and glowing dust surrounding them- but his mom thought he was crazy! I mean dragons?? Who could believe it.
Until one day CA ran off again. She remembered his whole dragon spheel, and went looking. After days of hunting and searching, she found him with the dragon. She screamed, her first thought wasn't kindness, wasn't gratitude for this creature keeping her son safe, it was fear. She tried to attack it, and well um... its like a 15 foot dragon guys. It was kinda easy to kill her LOL. The sight was NOT pretty too, and CA saw all of it. He swore vengeance on these Dragons, refusing to let any Dragons near humans ever again. Soon enough word was able to spread, and more and more adults got scared, and worried. Stories of horrifying man eating creatures were spread, but kids were still running away.
A hunting party was gathered, after the 4th kid came crying to their dad being killed by a dragon, they had enough. The kid led the search party, and it was practically the whole village!! It was a battle- a long one, but they killed the first ever dragon. Dragons did not take this light heartly, I mean, they give food, shelter, to the kids they choose to neglect? And they try to kill their kind? They were PISSED.
Thus the war started, Years passed as Dragons slowly started to attack villages (especially as food was getting scarse and humans seemed to be taking it all.) As I said Timmys dad is head of the village, he takes care of the hunting parties and is the one with the highest kill count, he's friendlier in general but is even less trusting of Timmy then Stoic was to Hiccup. Timmy was such a bright kid, with amazing ideas! He wants to become just like his dad, even though his dad barely even pays attention to him. He wants to impress him- the entire village- but every time he tries, he just ruins everything over and over again. He has a deal with the local huntress Vicky, to teach him how to make weapons, but let's just say she doesn't care for teaching him, rather instead using him as a personal test dummy to how good these weapons are. Ok that's like the base idea ill post something else about how Peri, cosmo, and wanda are in and YES I'm changing the story a bit, its not going to be the exact same character arcs, but it will have the same plot/ending heart :3 ill be making a post later focusing on Timmy
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ryiju-muunie · 20 days ago
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i was thinking about a zosan au where they're fighting some villain on a random island (idk work with me) and sanji gets attacked by one of the henchmen and backed into a corner. something something he gets bit and turned into a vampire and hes like oh FUCK. but he doesn't realize until they're back on the ship and days later he cant touch garlic anymore or be in the sun without being sick. no one seems to notice too much except zoro who tries to bug sanji and gets nothing but a weak reply back. sanji needs blood right? without being able to get it hes feeling light headed and weak.
so maybe zoro confronts him late at night when hes on watch like wtf is wrong with you. sanjis like i dont know fuck off. they start fighting and i feel like it could get very angsty here, maybe sanji says something to zoro that like crosses a line. so zoro goes to leave but sanjis like wait please dont go and grabs his wrist, and zoros like why are you so cold?? so he gets shown the bite mark and he’s like 😨 yOURE A VAMPIRE and sanjis like NO IM NOT SHUT UP
all of this is to say that zoro dons a very serious face and grabs sanjis shoulders, looks him dead in the eyes and says, "Take my blood. I will be your sucking bag." Sanji is horrified and red and pushes him away and hes like GOD- NO I'D NEVER DRINK YOUR FILTHY MOSS BLOOD. but he ends up doing it anyway and i think it could lead to romance~
they probably end up stealing an iv bag and some medical stuff from chopper because sanjis too pussy to actually bite him, although zoro seems disappointed (gay boy)
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sorry can i be insane and incoherent with my post work 2 am brain for a minute
man i swear i swear to god im going to go back to completely ignoring the existence of the bill book again in a minute but i just keep thinking back to the general way alex talks about ford and bill (lets not get into this but i saw a quote from the panel talking about them like theyre on equal footing thats been pissing me off in particular) + the entire part in the book about bill getting ford drunk and making him do things he normally wouldnt do thing like maybe theres better examples of how something just Isnt Quite Matching Up re: actual written text and authorial interpretation/intent(???) but it just stands out as such an egregious example in my mind because its like Okay you are a writer ok you are writing these things you are choosing to make this happen you are literally in complete control here so like if what you want to do is go for Two People In A Rivalry (which would already contracting Everything in all preexisting media but whateverrrrrr) then like why are we doing this why are we tossing such an incredibly horrifying yet common to the point of being a cliche real life way someones autonomy can be stripped away by someone who explicitly has power over them into this like were not in Cartoon World anymore this happens to actual people in real life and everyone knows it like its completely impossible to believe In Our Society that you can invoke that without being aware of all the insanely obvious baggage that comes with it so like what is the angle here. what is going on what is this doing here. actual genuine question am i just having an autism moment is it just meant to be funny and thats it. like is the whole bit meant to be a joke that you dont think about at all. because if its meant to be a joke it strikes me as insanely poor taste and like ten years behind edgelord frat boy humor type shit. or are we just like for real supposed to believe no coercion was involved at all in their next interaction given everything else and brush it off bc come fucking onnnnnn. or are we just supposed to think its fine because haha funnie karaoke scene its not like anything bad happened (even though people are continuously reading innuendo into 'one thing led to another' Gee i wonder why). like its for real baffling to me something just isnt adding up genuinely like whats going on. why is this even here. but maybe im just insane
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dayseedrawz2 · 1 month ago
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My thoughts on episode 3 + theories!!
I'll talk more about this on my YT, but for now here's a tumblr version
(SPOILERS BELOW)
Okay so starting off, my unfiltered thoughts throughout the episode
-They actually spend time together when outside the adventures aww! (Not like they really have a choice, but still neat-)
-Jax being a bitch
-"Zooble turns Straight" Welp, the whooooooole fandom was right!
-Bubbles reversed dialouge. Damn they really don't want those content farms no more.
-CAINE AN POMNI INTERACTION YEAAAA (It was one piece of dialogue I'm so delusional)
-He made this adventure JUST for Zooble cuz they never go and he really wants them to GUYS HES NOT A VILLAN SEE?
-Jax being a bitch
-LUIGIS MANSION REFRENCE FUCKING YESSS
-Wow the visual here are super pretty :o
-...and horrifying
-Jax being a bitch
-I haven't mentioned yet but the lil quirky powers or whatever are cool
-Wow the lore Caine writes for these stories is just like your average artist who torments their OCs (he so me fr)
-2D ANIMATION!!! Also Kinger and Pomni being like the funniest duo ever
-HOLY FRICKLE FRACKLE THEY DEFINITELY DID NOT WANT CONTENT FARMS TO FIND THIS EPISODE
-the monster is awesome looking tho
-THE THERAPY SESSION SEGMENTSS AAA
-Also Caine has a Trans flag hanging somewhere in the circus neat
-He forgot he could use his powers to just teleport Zooble to him lol
-Back to the spooky stuff
-Wow Kinger can actually use a gun! (Never thought I'd be saying that sentence-)
-KINGER AND POMNI GO TO ACTUAL HELL WHILE THE REST JUST HAVE A TEA PARTY WITH MARTHA
-Also JAX IS TIED UP BAHAHAHA
- "You know how men are, always having the silliest priorities..." "Heh, dont i know it!" I think the bunny doll shippers really like that scene
-Zooble has some sorta body dismorphia and has opened up about it to Caine multiple times seems like
-Uhh Caine... you okay buddy? CAINE YOU GOOD BRO? CAI
-CAINE HAS EMOTIONS/SELF AWARNESS CONFIRMED???
-Pomni gets fucking posessed ok
-now we know why it looked like kinger was hitting Pomni with the shotgun
-KINGER AND QUEENIE WERE MARRIED CONFIRMED???
-Father daughter bonding aww...
-I love how the whole fandom took one good look at Ragatha and went:
GAY GAY GAY HOMOSEXUAL GA-
-also Pomni and Ragatha are on good terms now aww...
-Caine and Zooble Should Pass that pipe from ep 2 and legitemently vent to each other
-Jax is pissed because the Jester actually had a good fucking day for once lmao stay mad
-NOW WE KNOW WHY HE STAYS IN THAT PILLOWFORT IM GONNA FUCKIN CRY NOW
Overall, this was definitely my favorite episode so far! The team is getting better each and every episode! SOOO much happened here!! I'm super excited to see what happens next!!
Okay, THEORY TIME!!
-Okay so to start lightly, so far, all the episodes we've seen contain:
Gangles mask breaking
Jax breaks the 4th wall
A cute/sad heart to heart conversation or interaction
A reference to angels or god or Christianity in some way
Interesting right?? Wonder if this keeps up...
-On the topic of Christianity, I saw a theory saying that if it's true that the gang developed the game (which may be true because of that computer science line), When Pomni says "I knew it would end up like this... He just wants me to suffer..." she may not be referring to Caine, but her Boss at CnA.
If that boss exists and is NOT named able, Imma be mildly upset-
-Okay, Alot of people have been talking about Jax being an NPC, and I wanna bring up my opinion on this:
As I mentioned earlier, he always breaks the 4th wall, witch could be seen as a character in a game being like "What do YOU think?" *Insert Game Options here*
I saw another theory saying that if this is true, Jax might be self aware or sentient to some degree, and This is why he tortures everyone. He knows that this world Revolves around the players and nit him so he wants to make them more miserable.
-OKAY, NOW WHAT (I) WEVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR... THE WHOLE DEAL WITH CAINE GLITCHING OUT AN' STUFF!
As one of many Caine angst connisuars on this platform, I really enjoyed this scene...
Caine knows that he only exists to make adventures and if he can't do it well enough than he serves ZERO purpouse and his existence is useless... (he's just like me fr)
This has SO MUCH POTENTIAL FOR A SERIES FINALE.
Since in each episode we've (mostly) seen a character being comforted (mostly Either Pomni being comforted OR someone being comforted BY Pomni)
What if the last episode had Caine and Pomni having a heart to heart?
(Shutup this is not about showtime I swear let me have this-)
Someone abstracts, (Ragatha or Kinger probably,) and it's Caine's last straw. He finally breaks and the circus goes into ruins. Pomni does her best to comfort him. This could go one of two ways:
Either she sucseeds and happy ending for everyone :D
OR, they fail and The Circus is destroyed, Taking Caine down with it.
Maybe then that would be how they escape cuz if Caine is emotionaly attached to the circus, it would be completely destroyed or erased if Caine finally broke...
The angst potential is crazy...
This is terrifyingly close to what I wanted to do with R-M AU UHHH I MEAN-
Anywayyyy I believe that's all! If yall have anymore theories lemme know!!
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lynn-tged-posting · 1 month ago
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tged webtoon 162 spoilers and thoughts except i'm a little bit late with them just a tad but it's okay we ball
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i think. genuinely. the art and panels for this episode are my new top tier THEY'RE SO DAMN FUNNY I WAS LAUGHING THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME HAHAHAHAA
LIKE LOOK AT THEM THE DOUBLE TROUBLE DUO EVER I FUCKING LOVE THEIR EXPRESSIONS they're menacing in such different ways but at the same damn level they're so duo i love them so much stupid fucking guys /aff
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now back to the top heehee VERKIS GOING STRAIGHT TO THE DAMN MOON
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he knew the horror that was about to fall out of lloyds mouth and did not warn anybody bro just went to spectate i love him so much
also a glimpse at the planet lorasia is on!!! yippee yippee! it looks very similar to earth but the continental shapes are different,,, wonder if bk moon will ever write a story thats cross continental!!! is that how u use that term idk
AND CHRIST WAS IT HORRIFYING
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LLOYD. LLOYD UR SINGING COULD DESTROY NATIONS. U COULD CONQUER THE WORLD JUST BY CALLING ONE NOTE. THIS IS AUDIO WARFARE WHAT THE HELL WHAT THE HELL this is way too OP HAHAHAHA
ALSO ALSO HIS STANCES BEFORE AND AFTER HOLY FUCK. THE AURA IN THEM I FEEL INSANE lloyd you motherfucker ily so much never stop slaying both literally and metaphorically THE ART IS SO SO FUN
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AND THEN THATS HOW RAPHAEL SAYS FUCK LAKDJFLSKDFHAAA HELPP he knew he was done for he could tell. his fucking blank ass face ohhh god i feel so so damn bad for this guy LOL
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THAT BACK AND FORTH BY JAVIER AND LLOYD WAS CALCULATED AND ALSO MONSTROUS AS HELL. INSANE MOVE INSANE THEYRE SO FUCKING. AJDFLKJSLDFKJSDFH in sync <3 the boyfs ever beating up angels together <3 i LOVED how much they matched/paired with each other in these panels its so fucking good
SO many matching pfp moments here in this ep and i think these two in particular are my favorite HAHAHAHAAA ive said this before but i love how differently they showcase their menacing behavior hehee
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AND THEN RIGHT AFTER THAT THE MOMENT RAPHAEL WAKS UP LLOYD GOES STRAIGHT TO GASLIGHTING. OH MY FUCKING GOD HES SO ANNOYING I LOVE HIM SM
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also more duo expressions here heehee i just also really like this panel javier looks like he does Not want to be this Evil despite the fact that he's doing it anyway. lloyd youve taught him so well <3
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also poor raphael again god he looks so fucking beat up LMFAOOO just a mf coughing baby :sob emoji:
AND THEN AND THEN. JAVIER BARGING IN he looks so fucking stiff here he's trying his mf best at this role he's found himself playing AHAHAHAHHAA
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AND THE FUCKING. THEM HOLDING EACH OTHER BACK I WAS GIGGLING SO FUCKING BAD . ALSO THEM JUST HOLDING AND HUGGING IN GENERAL I LOST MY MIND WHAT THE FUCK. THEY'RE MATCHING THEY'RE MATCHING HAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVED HTIS BIT the timing of it was so gold THEYRE SO FUNNY
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javier's sentences being short and stiff he's a terrible fucking actor HAHAHAA
i feel so bad for raphael bro completely fell for it,,, poor little hamster,,, little guy doesnt know whats coming,,, that contract sealed his fate,,,,,,
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WE ALSO GOT A >:3 LLOYD I THINK THATS AN IMPORTANT THING TO ADD. NOW WE HAVE A TOTAL OF TWO :3 LLOYDS OFFICIALLY IN THE WEBTOON here is to hoping we get more. its my favorite stupid expression i need more of it. lloyd is so >:3c to me that when i type that i think of him
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again tho thats so damn evil of lloyd taking advantage of raphael's naivety :sob: silly guy ilysm
ALSO ALSO. THIS SERIOUS LLOYD MOMENT WHERE HE ACTUALLY MAKES A DAMN GOOD POINT ABOUT HOW THE HEAVENLY REALM HAS BEEN TREATING THE LOWER REALM. OHHHHH THAT WAS SO SO GOOD he's so cool when he's proving a point / spitting fire i love it when he does this and im glad he said smth, i rlly hope raphael can help w the realms and their communication so that shit like the jewel of truth getting illegal'd / other things like that can go smoother
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the crossed arms n everything THATS SOOOOO HEHEHEHHEHEE DANCING AROUND
AND THEN NOT EVEN A MOMENT LATER HE GOES STRAIGHT INTO CONTRACT MODE I LAUGHED MY MF ASS OFFF HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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EVIL BASTARD. U AWFUL SCHEMER U. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH HAHAHAHAHAHA
do you think zhongli and lloyd would get along in a weird fucked up kind of way? i do. i think they should form a contract somehow and then fuck around a little bit
anyway im VERY excited to see what lloyd has planned for raphael exactly and also, since the jewel of truth is gonna get finished, what its going to say!!! swear to god fate better be beatable or im going to like. idk. curl up and cry. i need lloyd to finally get the happy ending he wanted, the lavish and carefree life he's been working for his entire life, one that's surrounded by people and family and loved ones and peace peace peace PLEASSSEEE HE'S WORKED SO HARD
sorry about this being mostly reacting too btw im just. eehehehehehe much action not much to say so im just giddy over this ep LOL
thats all from me for now!! see yall next week!!!! (aka tmrw when the update drops. bc this post was a teensy bit late. heehoo)
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fipindustries · 1 year ago
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oppen heimer style
let me just start this by saying that this is not necesarily nolan being back to form, necesarily. i would place it just above the rest of nolan's dark period known as intersrellar, dunkirk and tenet. but that is not an exceedingly high bar to pass.
he has sadly become a director that i still respect appreciate and whose movies i enjoy but whom i can no longer say is an unmatched genius.
lets start with the bad.
its too long, and its pacing its a little awkward, no need to worry for spoilers here since we all know the history. the big money shot that we were all expecting, the trinity test, it happens roughly at the middle of the movie and after that the movie struggles to reach any other point of heightened emotion as high as that one.
its a solid three hour experience and more than once it had me wondering "ok, how much left, are we done yet?" but i will say this: once i reached the final scene and the credits start i did not feel a tired relief that it was finaly over, thank god. i feel dread, i felt doom and dread. i was fucking terrified. this movie has a good strong final scene that makes you forget of previous tests of patience you might have gone through watching it.
it tries to do this weird parallel story telling between lewis strauss and oppenheimer that it feels like they tried to film two different movies and then awkwardly splie them together. it jumps back and forth between the past and the present told form different points of view and a lot of it feels like it could have been cut out and the movie would have worked just as well. im not sure how necessary was the whole lewis strauss subplot to be honest.
the characters and dialog work a little better than in previous movies although we still get a lot of scenes of people talking in a clinical manner with expository dialog and deep philosophical musings. but once again i will say nolan seems to be learning some lessons, we do get a lot of scenes where actors are allowed to flex their emotional muscles.
in a lot of ways this is nolan's most lurid film. i think this is the first time we get to see breasts and naked people having sex in a nolan movie and it hits hard, both because of how unexpected it is in a nolan film and because of how out of context it shows up in-universe. i dont actually want to spoil this one because the effect it achieves actually worked really well.
and now moving on to the good, if i mentioned this might be nolan at his most lurid, it is certainly also at his most poetic. sure there is inception, but in here we get to see a lot of surrealist or downright metaphorical scenes without the excuse of being inside a dream. we get to see things that are not happening literally in universe but that are an artistic representation of what the characters are feeling. it felt really effective.
the man himself
this is a movie that is very much about the titular guy and trying to understand his inner world, trying to understand who the hell was this person, and honestly, where did he get off.
it seems oppenheimer was a complicated man, whose actions and desitions were sometimes confusing, sometimes downright contradictory (there is a nice wink to this when talking about the paticle/wave duality at the beggining of the film). he was a communist, he was a proud american, he was a genius, he was painfully naive,he was merely following orders but he had absolute control over his little town in los alamos, he worked hard for peace, he created nuclear war, he built a bomb that he didnt want people to use.
i heard criticisms that this movie romanticizes his work, that it may excuse or justify the use of the bomb, that it may be too kind with the guy. rest assured it doesnt. the movie brings up multiple times how the japanese were basically already surrendering, how senseless and callous and cruel the use on japanese cities was, how attrocious and horrifying the effects of the bomb were. and how oppenheimer definely contributed to it. if it shows the guy hand wringing or feeling gulty or trying to be a martyr of sorts, the movie definetly calls him out on that too by saying that its very rich of him to have done the deed and then regret it as if he didnt knew what he was doing or as if he had no control over it. a lot of times the movie shows the man as spineless, as a moral coward, as someone who was too weak to take on a position. "you dont get to commit a sin and then make everyone else feel pity for you because there are consequences!" is yelled at his face.
yet all the same, either because he is portrayed by cyllian murphy and his puppy dog eyes or because nolan deep down still admires who he was and what he did, you cant help but feel bad for the guy and like him still. he was a person, a complicated person with ugly sides that this movie in no way ignores, but still a brilliant man who at the very least had the basic decency to feel bad for the atrocities he contributed to.
going back to the movie itself
its has a weirdly star studded cast. if you were surprised by the sudden appearance of matt damon in interstellar, get ready to have that feeling multiple times during this film, every other scene suddenly shows up a hollywood megastar and it will take a few seconds before you accept ok, i guess gary oldman is in this film, and is that rami malek? and oh right, robert downy junior and oh my god is that fucking kenneth brannagh. in fact the one hollywood actor who is NOT in this movie, is surprisingly, inexplicably enough michael caine.
truly, breaking new ground.
and the cameos dont stop at the stars, the characters themselves are a constant delightful surprise if you are into the history of quantum mechanics and science in the first half of the 20th century. you have einstein of course (presented as this old exiled king, his time of glory long past but still sough after for his wisdom) but you have also bohrs, heisenberg, feynman, fermi, and fucking gödel somehow (they managed to shoe in a comment about his paranoia and hipocondry)
the actual explosion
time to talk about the thing we all went to see this movie for. is the atomic explosion cool? is it big? is it loud? does it go boom? does it look cool?.
suffice to say. yes. one of the coolest experiences i had in watching film ever in my life. it has a build up of a solid 30 minutes or so (arguably its been building up the entire movie) the tensin keeps on rising all through out. the countdown slowly advances, the expectations are at the highest theyve ever been and by the time the bomb was actually about to go off in the middle of the american desert, the first atom bomb ever exploted, my heart was hammering out of my chest.
its fully worth the price of admission and the three hours.
final comments
i want to double back to the poetic filmmaking i mentioned early to comment about the main thing its used for. nolan makes it clear in no uncertain terms the horror that atomic weapons unleashed on the world. the man goes out of his way to make it clear, these things can destroy the planet. we've all become perhaps a bit desensitized to atomic explosion in film, made more and more espectacular with the advancement of cgi. but this movie brings it back home and leaves you with a last message about the danger of nuclear proliferation.
i walked out of the theatre with my legs shaking and my eyes falling out of my skull. i had a hard time talking a bit afterwards, i was a little shell shocked.
so, i guess in the end, my thoughts on this movie are just as complicated as the man himself, the man who oppenheimed the world.
8/10
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foundfam2754 · 3 months ago
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S17e10 (finale!) live reactions!
Spoilers…obviously
- AHHH this is it!! finally! here. we. go.
- yeah they better not hurt my kiddos thank you very much
-I’m telling you NOW. this is all about Elias. He’s the center of the conspiracy. that’s been my theory since e1. if he didn’t say anything about GS, none of this would have started
- of course, Emily’s kidnapped again. That HAS be in Paget’s contract or something
- where are JJ and Luke?? boyf and bff up to no good again
- what did Emily do?? what’s she being judged for?
- I KNEW IT. THEY WERE GONNA DO FLASHBACKS AGAIN
- tbh this has to be the least scary time that’s she’s been “abducted and interrogated” lol
- I KNEW IT. My “Emily abduction count” was 4
- this is the “dramatic and cry-y” outfit for Pen!!
- I think my theory is right!! if you have been reading my reaction posts every week you’ll know I have a theory about this season:
that the underlying conspiracy of the season being that they’re (BAU and the gold stars) doing everything Elias wants them to do - and it was all to get him out of jail and to screw over the BAU, and it all started with Bailey’s “gold star” in 16x10. especially because the only way they can resolve it is by confiding in voit. because he knows everything and how everyone really feels. and everyone’s priorities
- lol elias’ cell looks like a college dorm
- I KNEW IT I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE CONSPIRACY. - ELIAS. IS. THE. CENTER OF IT!!! I’m just so proud of myself
- OMG that’s not a spin I saw coming
- wait wait wait did I forget or did they JUST tell us about Emily’s sister
- aw man doug bailey’s such a good egg
- chaotic voit is so fucking funny
- also that’s a cool shot
- god doug bailey is *so* cute
- oh god - voit knew if bailey ended up on that wall, pete would fall into deeper into the conspiracy!! 🤯🤯
- BIT THROUGH HER TONGUE?
- how does emily end up being cool and such a bitch badass even when she’s in that much pain!??
- “Jenny?” ew
- “we can smell you later” HAHA
- haha I fucking love Tyler “thought experiment”
- “hey, Ty-Ty” “Lucas” I FUCKING LOVE CHAOTIC ELIAS
- oh my god Penelope, stay safe
- PEN PROTECTING TYLER!!! it actually threw him off, you could see his face, it’s the eye contact specifically that threw him off
- oh my god that’s horrifying
- this whole episode is the bau trying to throw Elias of and v/v
- oh god I forgot about emily
- is she about to say that she loved him? pls, I kinda liked them together
- also a lil inconsistency that bugs me; in 15x4, they said that you can never talk down a conspiracy theorist, a targeted individual - they just have to let them believe what they believe - so why is Em trying to convince them so hard, shouldn’t she profile them? idk
- wait I don’t get it, how does the board relate to the team coming?? wouldn’t they have booby trapped it either way? why does Luke dancing in a towel after his shower have anything to do with it??😂
- omg Luke
- OMG dave this is so smart
- Jade’s gonna do something isn’t she??
- I KNEW IT
- when is pen going to cry? im so unsure what kirsten’s insta post was about bc the ep is almost over
- “discretion is the better part of valor” - interesting
- wait are we getting profilers back?? now that she has more money
- Penelope’s house!!
- but also no more greencia pls
- pen and luke pls?? pls? pls. :(
- wuoh elias…
GREAT SEASON!!! but we deserved garvez
looking forward to 2026, when I can do these again :)
more to come as I reflect on the season, but thanks for sticking w me as I did these reactions!!
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ghostiidasponk · 2 months ago
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GNSUFGHHHHH BATHYUB MERMAID AZUL HAS MY BRAIIIINNNNNNN
brainrot below the cut but HEAR ME OUT
tw: non graphic body dysmorphia, angst, VERY DARK
I will embrace
Embrace your membranes, your bones
And keep you cool
Then, I will squeeze out
Squeeze out your evil, your grim and your woe
Transform myself
Once and for all
Sink into the tub
Reborn, Reform, Twist my legs to one and mind to none.
Tell me, tell me,
What do you see In the mirror that's covered in chalky steam
Touch me, touch me, Kiss me to sleep
So I can breathe
Cut me open and give me gills
^^^ OK SO HEAR ME OUT BUT LIKE
something something MC finds Azul (merform) on the beach (NRC isnt a thing in this au LET IT HAPPEN), crying because he constantly gets bullied by mermaids/ hates himself a lot- but then MC finds him so captivating (because omg OCTOMER?1!1?1?) and decides to take Azul home and keep him in his bathtub (IM STILL WORKIMG THAT PART OUT) but Azul still ignores Yuu because he's still thinking about those mermaids, he's still thinking about the harsh words, still wants to be accepted by them
but Yuu loves Azul so much, so much that they even start changing themselves *physically* for him, looking for mermaid scales to stick to their body, twisting their two legs into one to make a mermaid tail- because maybe when they're finally a mermaid- a mermaid that recognizes Azul and accepts him for who he is, then maybe they could finally, *finally* have that taste of a love they oh so desperately longed from him.
and that's when Azul finally recognizes just how much Yuu loves him- that they're even willing to change in horrifying, self destructive ways that he sees that the more Yuu's infatuation grows for him, the more his mind spirals into madness- and Azul can't help but love Yuu because 'oh my god you're destroying youtself for me that's so sweet and concerning.'
And I know Azul would probably like,,, make a contract or something to turn Yuu into a mermaid but BUT FOR THE SAKE OF THE SONG PSLSPSLPSLSPSSL LETS PRETEND ANOYHER SCENARIO
With tweezers and nippers, Trim off my fins
And forever I'll be yours
I won't fight or make you cry
Whatever you need, Whenever you need
I'll be by your side
And then I gave you my eyes, To see all the colours
And then I gave you my ears, To hear all the sirens
And then I gave you my heart, To fill in the emptiness in your chest
And then I gave you my brain, So that you can learn to love
That's right baby, as the lyrics suggest Azul starts giving Yuu his ACTUAL body parts to get them closer and closer to being a mermaid- wanting to help Yuu reach their goal, as sick as it is
Tell me tell me, What do you see
In the water that's clinging onto my skin
Cut me cut me
Please make it deep
If I'm covered in scars, Will you look at me
Kiss me kiss me, Don't leave me be
I'm a bathtub mermaid, I cannot swim but only sing
Just pull the plug
Flush down all your memories
Into the sea
At the end of it all, Azul begs for Yuu to forget about him, to go back to living the life before they met Azul, before they started ruining themselves, before they descended into madness, when they were still happy, a self-sacrifice for a self-sacrifice.
haha anyway yeah thanks for listening to my ted talk good night folks. Very scuffed very last minute- but if you wanna sing to the song it's 'Bathtub Mermaid' by Mili :3c
this entire thing was inspired by a song interpretation I found online- I'm gonna look for the link and post it here mwehehe
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