#god if one/both of them die I'll never recover

[gracien-maybe]

"This is okay."

The way Liam O'Brien has the power to say just three simple words and instantly make me tear up

[susandsnell]

hey coco! hope ur having a good day! was wondering if u’d like to talk about why u like and what u find compelling with atton/exile? do u have a particular route or headcanon underwhich u prefer them or is it more of an overarching meta appreciation?

Hi, friend!

Thanks so much for the well-wishes. My day's kind of ehh due to continued Issues but the weather's nice and I'm feeling a little calmer. Hope your day is good!

Thank you so much for sending me this and enabling me shamelessly. I've been ride-or-die for Atton/Exile (which is M/F if you played the Jedi Exile as female, which I did and which is 'canon' but let's not talk about the latter lest we kick the hornet's nest) since summer 2011, which is almost 13 years now? Wild. Literally half my life. Anyhow, my reasons/headcanons have changed and evolved just as I've done a lot of growing up since the time I was first obsessed, but I'll do my best to synthesize/organize my thoughts! (Assume all the Restored Content is canon). More under the cut because 'synthesis' is still essay-length for me, God help me.

First off, I tended to play the Jedi Exile as light-sided and Revan as dark sided; I find the narrative of both games to be the most meaningful with these choices. This post basically puts into words why Revan works better as a Dark Sider, but the Exile, to me, as Revan's foil and mirror, works inversely best as a light sider. The game seems to want you to play her light-sided given how Kreia's best stuff/approval lies in that path. KOTOR II is one of the darkest entries to the Star Wars universe by far, but with a light sided exile, it's a story about how moving through life with an unyielding belief in love and justice for others in your heart will ignite that light in the people around you, and repair a broken world/galaxy.

Enter Atton.

KOTOR II is great in that you technically have such a wide range of shipping dynamics/options, and exactly none of them are functional, largely because it's one of the Star Wars media entries with the most harrowingly realistic depictions of war and its psychological impact on the people it touches. Atton Rand happened to be my favourite of all the love interests at the time because of his voice and his snarky meta-jokes (I was a Daria fanatic almost 2 decades too late, what do you want). Nowadays, I love him because his character basically took the Star Wars expanded universe requirement for Han Solo expys and went off the rails with it, making his 'scoundrel' archetype half-his charming and humorous personality, half-a facade to cover severe and quite realistically portrayed war PTSD as well as his actions as Jaq, the torture-happy mercenary. It's "what if the self-serving charming rogue during wartime archetype was brought to its logical conclusion" and I am here for it.

So first you have the parallels and contrasts - both committed atrocities during the Mandalorian wars, but while Atton was loyal to Revan after their fall and never faced justice for his wrongdoings, the (light-sided) Exile turned from Revan and still was scapegoated by the Council. Atton is a character mired in his own bitterness and cynicism, and you have the option to choose to play the Exile as a character driven solely by her morals, even when she'll suffer unconscionably for them, and it is through this unflinching clinging to her morals that she gains the idealism necessary to survive everything she goes through. Atton once sought to rip freewill away from his victims; the Exile unconsciously, slowly saps it through the cipher.

As a young teen, I admittedly was starry-eyed over the 'sheltered good girl manipulated and hurt by so many meets sexy bad boy recovering from his own past and they protect each other as a power couple' archetyping, but it does go a lot deeper than that. Their dialogue options have easy, natural, sexy chemistry that draws you in, but I do think my appreciation goes deeper. This isn't a simple 'fixing the bad boy' because of the narrative device of the Force cipher meaning you quite literally have "I can fix him" and "I can make him worse" as your game mechanics, lol. You get your surface-level fun of their interactions between the proper, well-mannered Jedi and the flirtatious rapscallion, but you also have two people who, for the reasons I outlined above, fundamentally understand each other after harrowing lifetimes spent alone in their pain and trauma.

I'd go so far as to say Atton is the best-placed of anyone to understand the Exile; the Sion ship is compelling and squee-worthy to any Phantom fangirl worth her salt (as I was), but she's everything he couldn't be or fathom, Visas may have felt closer to the pain the Exile did over Malachor V but her worst actions were committed under duress as a captive of Darth Nihilus and not of her own volition (so I argue she's a lot more morally innocent than Atton or the Exile), Mical/The Disciple is the innocence and warmth of the Exile's upbringing untouched by how the Mando wars reforged her and while Brianna/The Handmaiden is excellent as a potential parallel for specifically the Exile's abuse at the hands of the Jedi (Atris in particular), she's still similarly sheltered to Mical. Bao-Dur was with the Exile during the war but the game didn't develop him enough and understands that aspect of her, but they canonically per the dialogue emotionally distanced themselves given the circumstances, and Mira the Bounty Hunter is cool sister-zoned, but I suspect her family being victim to Malachor V would drive a wedge no matter how much forgiveness the game preaches.

Meanwhile, Atton knows and/or loves not pieces of the Exile, but as she is; the battered and betrayed veteran with a lifetime of wrongdoing to atone for that he recognizes in himself, and the naive Jedi she was before that the charming flirt in him likes to tease. And although his backstory is a revelation, and a harrowing one to the Exile, who sees what she might have become had she stayed with Revan, this is what their relationship is; seeing someone in their totality, and loving and honouring the worst with the best. Despite knowing what the Exile's done, Atton values her enough to still care about how she views him that he begs Kreia not to tell her the truth about his past. The two are instantly drawn to each other on Peragus, not just out of necessity but genuine, instinctive protectiveness, attraction, and a deeper sense (be it Force-Assisted or not) of understanding. Atton refers to it in his death scene (if you count that) as love at first sight, and while there was probably initial infatuation, I think there was just such an instant magnetism that grew and grew between them through shared experience. "Don't give up on me now, dammit!" and "You want her, you get through me." come to mind. Atton is the only party member that asks her to train him in the Force, whereas she has to prompt and convince the others into their awakening. He's deeply scarred by his experiences with the Force, not to mention it's actively dangerous to train as a Jedi due to the Exchange, but he's willing to face that for the Exile - he tells her that part of why he wants to train as a Jedi is to be better able to protect and fight for her. One of the first things he does is teach her to play Pazaak in her head to prevent from psychic attacks through the Force/harm through Kreia's force bond - the exact weapon he wielded against others. The tragedy of any Jedi Exile ship is the constant insecurity created by the force-wound/cipher; how much of anyone's choice to follow in their footsteps or love them is their own free will? What power dynamics, unspoken or obvious, arise from it? But Atton's fierce independence and selfishness almost serves as the clearest answer to this. He willingly reawakens himself to the Force to connect with her, to be better able to fight for her. He chose her, a thousand times over, and whatever role the Force Wound plays, he accepts her influence out of admiration for that steadfast-to-a-fault morality I talked about before.

This isn't some corny gender essentialist "she is his redemption" nonsense either, although redemption is a major theme of a light-sided KOTOR 2; by training Atton and others as a Jedi, the Exile is actively doing the work to heal the galaxy she helped to break. By protecting and teaching and bonding with the Exile, Atton is regaining his own humanity through recognizing hers, over and over, the way he failed to recognize those of his victims. They're together in this, in their recovery, in how they've experienced all extremes of morality. Love, in this story, isn't about fixing someone or breaking them, it's about meeting them where they are and walking alongside them, hopefully to someplace better than where you were when you both met. Is it any wonder that he's the one she walks away with in the end? (As if he'd let her walk alone ever again.)

With all this being said, and to address your question, while the route/headcanon preferences I prefer for Atton/Exile create, I think, the richest narrative with what's there, I've definitely got an overarching meta appreciation for them too. I spent my teen years eagerly eating up every possible iteration of them as a couple, and much of what I described above can hold true in a different aspect if people prefer to play them dark-sided, if people hold the tragic dying in your arms ending as canon, and so forth. They're compelling any way you slice them.

[bellaxgiornata]

OH MY GOD OKAY- so hang on- first off, BELLA, how are you? how's the newborn? how are the kids in general?! i'm happy to hear the birth went well, i hope you're recovering well and that you're not pushing yourself too muchhhhh

ANYWAY. i just found out how my godfather/uncle met his wife and- HOLY SHIT it gives me SUCH Frank or Matt vibes (more frank than matt in my opinion, but 100% either of them) and i had to tell you about it to see if you agreeeeeee (+ it could be a cool oneshot idea if you want it hehe, i'll give it for free)

OKAY SO for the purposes of clarity, my uncle/godfather's name is now Peter, and his wife's name is Molly, because why not?

Peter is invited to his best friend's wedding, and the bride at that wedding warns him "hey, don't you dare talk to Molly" (while pointing Molly out in a crowd) "she just went through a really difficult breakup and though you guys are 100% eachother's types, she is absolutely not ready for another relationship and i don't want you to break her heart if the relationship isn't going to last."

and Peter respects that. except the bride wasn't clear about who she was pointing to. so Peter was avoiding another random girl in the friend group he'd never met and had been talking and flirting all night with Molly without realising it was Molly and he legit spent the whole ceremony and most of the reception sitting right next to her and chatting.

and then during the reception, the bride realises that Peter and Molly are talking and she tells Peter like- "why are you talking to Molly, I told you to stay away from her!" and he's like "that's Molly? well you were right then" and then the bride is like "about what?" and he's like "that we're eachother's types. I gave her my phone number an hour into us meeting and I've already asked her out on a date and she said yes."

and now they've been married for 10 years or so and have two daughters

LIKE IT'S ALL SO CUTE- when i found out i wanted to die because of how adorable it is- like it's genuinely the meet-cute in a rom-com kind of shit- and to me it's SO Frank or Matt-coded (helps that my godfather/uncle is military and is built nearly exactly like Frank- like seriously shave frank's head, make him look slightly less worn out and traumatised and you have my godfather/uncle + they have the exact same sense of humour and stuff).

Hey, friend!! 💖 My response is a bit long so I put it below the cut. But enjoy this Frank gif to break things up (and because I wouldn't be able to resist that man looking at me like that at a wedding...).

I am doing well! I've had a cold shortly after coming home from the hospital which has been rough on top of everything else, but I feel a little better today and I have been taking time to try to take care of myself. Our little baby is doing well, boy can down milk like no one's business and he's generally a pretty happy little guy all the time. My toddler absolutely adores him already, but he's been an only child for almost 4 years so he's been having a hard time sharing our attention. The birth had some scary ups and downs last week, but things ended up okay and both baby and I are alright! I will say that I've had enough experience with child birth and don't want to do it a third time after that, though 😅

Ahhh!! OMG! I love stories like this! I used to be a wedding photographer for about 11 years before becoming a stay at home mom and I LOVE hearing stories of how couples met (or got engaged) because it's so interesting to hear about! And I can actually see a story for either Matt or Frank so I may keep that in mind for a one shot now, thank you 😆

But yes! I could absolutely see an innocent Frank at a wedding getting the women mixed up and genuinely talking to the "wrong" one and they end up hitting it off in the end and he sticks by her side for most of the night. Sweet Frank would soothe anyone's broken heart. As for Matt, well, I could see him making an innocent mistake, but truly I could see Fog warning him to stay away from a family member or friend and Matt "accidentally" talking to her and pretending he thought it was another woman Fog warned him to stay away from. I mean, it's Matt and he's a little shit sometimes 🤣

But that's so crazy!! Thank you for sharing this story with me!! I always love taking real life moments and then thinking about how the guys might react if it had happened to them! But I do agree that this screams more Frank than Matt (unless it was about intentionally ignoring the friend's warning because that screams Matt).

[magical-girl-coral]

I have the brain worms. Snippet from a scene rewrite where Mel is allowed to be a politician.

When they were done explaining the plan, Sevika, Mel recalls, looked as though she was told to swim through Piltover's sewers. "You left us to live on the streets, declared martial law, threw our people into Stilwater for every petty crime you accused us of, made our lives a bigger hell than it was under Vander or Silco, and now you expect us to fight this war for you?" She asked, her voice both still yet terrifying. Thank god this woman never Ambessa. "This has got to be the saddest joke I've ever heard, and I've listened to some of the lines Jinx practiced before confronting her sister. You've got to be as insane as your mother. Maybe it runs in the family." Jayce got up from his seat. Mel put her hand up to make him stand down. "I understand your anger and frustration, and these are not empty words. But I need you to understand that my mother will not just stop with us." Mel took a deep breath, and revealed the skinniness of her side. Sevika's face went still. "When I was a child, my mother would force me to train until I vomited my stomach acid and collapsed from exhaustion. To this day, my body never truly recovered. I could barely sleep or eat under her watchful gaze, always feeling like I had to push myself beyond my limits so maybe one day I'll gain her approval. She never did anything to prove me wrong. In fact, it only proved me right when she banished me for refusing to kill my confidant, Elora, because only bloodshed fits her idea of power." Mel stared straight into Sevika's eyes. "This is the treatment of someone she claims as family, as someone she wishes to protect. Imagine what will happen to Zaun once she reaches the people she sees as nothing more than the dirt on her boots." Sevika seemed to back down, if only a little, but didn't relent. "We don't do this without getting something back. And don't you dare give up scraps again. We deserve more than your leftovers." "How about Zaun independence?" Jayce suggested. For the first time since the meeting started, Sevika's mask fell. "Is this another joke?" "Far from it," Mel said, backing up Jayce. "We can't blindly give you freedom thanks to everything that happened in the past year, but if you prove yourselves during the battle against Noxus, I'm sure some of the nobles will have no choice but to relent, especially since so many of them fled like cowards and will have no room to talk. Besides, now the council is only Jayce, Shoola and I. What do you think of this Shoola." Shoola turned her head to regard Sevika. She cocked her head to the side in mock consideration. "I think I can be persuaded. But I would like to see the negotiations before we settle for good." "What about the Zaunites in uniforms?" One of the men next to Sevika asked. "We refuse to die in our enemy's clothes. It'll be an insult to what we stand for." "The Zaunites in uniforms will be with the ranger shooters along with Caitlyn Kiramman, as far away from my mother's men as possible," Mel answered. "We simply want to make it look as though that's the size of our army so my mother will get overconfident and let her guard down. Once I give the signal, you will come in with your own armors with the materials we will give you. You will not fall wearing enemy colors." That seemed to fully put Sevika at ease. Or the closest she can get to it, at the very least. "When will we get the materials for the armor?" "The second you agree to our plan." Sevika sighed. "I guess that's fair. How do we know what the signal will look like?" Mel's armor glowed for a split second. Sevika's eyes widened. Mel smirked. "Trust me, you'll know."

[nekropsii]

100 DAYS UNTIL SOVEREIGNSTUCK SPRITE SHOWCASE!!

It makes me really happy to say that today I'll be showing off some of the Patron sprites!! I honestly really like how they came out, so I hope you guys like them too!!

Here we have a trio that really shouldn't be in the same image together!! Though Rufioh may be the root of all problems here, that doesn't mean Horuss and Damara hold no resentment for each other. Please separate them!! From left to right, we have...

HORUSS ZAHHAK // caballineToxophilite A Page of Void and tortured artist who deeply lacks a sense of personal identity. This struggle has left him a deeply tired, angry person, confused about what his place in this world is. Though he is something of a Renaissance Man, he finds that his expansive abilities only add to his internal strife. A true jack of all trades, and yet nothing defines him. He feels nothing makes his work his own.

RUFIOH NITRAM // animatedTroublemaker A mischievous Rogue of Breath who's found himself in quite the conundrum after being dragged back in the game again. Having ran away from the problems he's caused without warning for a year, those he's abandoned have quite the bone to pick with him. Wholly uninterested in having any further plot relevance, you'll mostly find him doing odd sidequests in random locations. Keep an eye out for him!

DAMARA MEGIDO // amicableAssassin A friendly Witch of Time that's better at holding a grudge than God himself. After her session ended, she moved in with Latula and Mituna, and spent the better part of that year trying to recover... And gained a great appreciation for punk in the process!! She spends her time keeping the timeline of this session from branching too far into a Doomed state, taking her role as a guide in this game really seriously. Will she succeed in her attempts to maintain stability...?

Up next, we have...

... These two, who should never be separated!! These moirails have a storied history together, and though half of those stories may involve annoying the hell out of each other… It's ultimately done nothing but draw them closer! From left to right, we have…

MEENAH PEIXES // causticConqueror A wild child Thief of Life that's here to cause problems and then immediately leave!! Though she's actually working on the "causing problem" part... After the way the last session fell apart, she feels it's apt to treat this new one as a fresh start for her. Old habits die hard, though!! Becoming a better person is both a difficult and nonlinear struggle. God knows this isn't stopping her from some gossip and tomfoolery here and there!! Everyone pray for our girl, she's trying her best.

ARANEA SERKET // athenianGlossographer A Sylph of Light that has much she'd like to tell you!! No one's taking the new session better than her- though she does miss working at the library, she gets plenty of fuel for writing from her time spent in the game, surrounded by new people, new places, new experiences, and new things to analyze!! Though treated as a doormat by her peers in her own session, she's been working on her assertiveness to assure that she's heard!!

That's all for this Sprite Showcase!! Thank you all for reading, and I hope you're enjoying what you see!!

[oboetemasuka]

Order of Attack, part 16

I was going to have a bunch of conversations in a single part, but this first conversation is as long as some of the older, shorter chapters.

So here.

Fuuta and Amane. Just in time before Fuuta's birthday ends in my part of the world.

Does this mean I'm going to have to write yet another conclusion chapter? A "proper" one? We'll see.

(Cw cults, suicide)

“Fuuta-san, how are you feeling?”

Waking up to a hovering green blob was one of the constants of this prison.

“Like crap. But… better.” Fuuta took Amane’s outstretched hands and pulled himself to a seated position. After lying down for who-knows-how-long, sitting up felt so weird these first few times.

“Better… I am glad.” Amane settled into the chair next to him. “Do you really mean it?”

“Of course… Might take a while to…” To recover. “But it’s something. Why…” Why do you ask?

“The last time you said you were fine…” She sounded choked. “Why did you…”

“...Didn’t want anyone to worry.”

“D-did you not think… we would be more worried if… if…” Amane stopped trying to hold back tears. 

Fuuta held out his right arm, and Amane accepted the wordless invitation for a hug.

“Promise me you won’t die…” she whispered.

“I’ll try. At least… I won’t do… that again.”

“You had better not.” Amane patted Fuuta’s shoulder before pulling away and sitting back in her chair.

“Y’know… I've been told… I could recover fully if I make it out of here and get to a-” Get to a hospital.

Amane stared at the floor silently.

“Oh. Sorry. Shouldn't have-”

“It is fine. Given that we are stuck here, getting to a hospital would be a trial all on its own.”

Is she bending her beliefs?

“It sucks that your eye’s gone, though.”

Amane shrugged. “It was just part of God's plan.”

“After everything, you still hold onto that?” It wasn’t surprising. This “everything”, this life-changing event… even this would not completely undo a lifetime of faith.

“This pain brought us closer together, did it not?”

Fuuta grunted in agreement. “S’pose so… But you’re so young… to have a permanent…”

“Even if this is forever, so are the bonds we forged. I would not have it any other way.”

“So cheesy…”

But it got a chuckle out of both of them, even though they needed a moment to catch their breaths after.

“Gotta hand it to you…” Fuuta said after a bit. “Living without regrets…”

“There is not enough time in the world for regrets,” Amane responded plainly. “I wish things could have turned out differently, but I would not change my own actions if I went back.” 

“Can’t say the same… I’ll never make the same mistake again.” Fuuta sighed. “But… going forward, would you do it again?”

Amane averted her eye. “I hope I would not have to.” She paused for a moment. “At least the voices understand now. A little bit.”

“Glad they stopped the baseless accusations.”

“Still, I would rather they not pity me. But it is fine. It is easier to ignore.”

Fuuta shrugged. “Guess it could be worse.”

“Voices aside, do you think a lot about the next trial?” 

“Haven't really…. Thought it was already over for me.”

“Of course it is not over. There is always hope for change.” Her tone fell. “Though I worry that the warden's sympathy is so arbitrary.”

“I'll make sure they don't regret their choice. Second chances… Hope they believe in that…” 

“I am sure they do. That is why we have three trials, no?”

“But third chances… then…”

Amane seemed to be studying Fuuta’s expression. “You are worried about Sakurai Haruka.”

Fuuta nodded. “Him and Muu.”

“You made it through this trial. They can too. We can help them.”

“So comforting.” He rolled his eyes.

“I mean it,” Amane said sincerely. “If anyone can get through to them, it is you.”

Fuuta dropped the sarcastic tone. “You really think so?”

“I do. We can visit them right now if you want.” Amane walked over to a wall where a folded wheelchair was leaning, waiting to be used. “I’ll get… um, I’ll get Kirisaki Shidou to help.”

[rubylarkspur22]

Questions and answers below the cut. Manga spoilers are featured.

1: MPCS(🌙1) and AMSG(🌙2) Ranhime(Michikatsu's wife), Uta, Sumiyoshi, and Suyako; What are your opinions and relationships with the Tsugikuni twins?

Ranhime(MPCS): Well, I've certainly adjusted to their presence. Yoriichi's quite a peaceful presence and Michikatsu doesn't get into trouble. I can't deny that I'm curious about what Michikatsu is like as a human.

Ranhime(AMSG): Michikatsu's an excellent sparring partner, and his determination is admirable. His brother seems nice enough, though I will admit we don't talk much. Yoriichi's certainly unique, I'll say that much.

Uta(MPCS): They're super nice! I know I can talk for a long time, so I try not to talk everyone's ears off, but Yoriichi is actually really nice about it. He listens, even to the most random things I can babble on about. I'm not sure what my exact feelings for him are, but they're nice. Michikatsu's pretty nice, too. Even as a demon, he looks out for his family, and it's very sweet of him!

Uta(AMSG): *squeals* Yoriichi is so cute, and I love hanging out and chatting with him! He's so nice, and his presence is so comforting! I never expected that from a demon! And Michikatsu is such a great brother, working so hard to help Yoriichi become human again!

Sumiyoshi(MPSC): We're pretty good friends. I've carried Michikatsu what few times Yoriichi was injured, and talked to both of them. They're nice. Even if Michikatsu tends to be a bit... overprotective at times.

Sumiyoshi(AMSG): Michikatsu's a bit rough around the edges, but actually pretty nice when you get to know. Yoriichi startled me the first time I saw him. I mean, a demon walking around in the daytime? Not something you see on a normal day. Then again, things have been anything but normal since meeting them. But they're my friends, and I'm willing to fight for them.

Suyako(MPSC): Yoriichi's very nice. I don't really interact with Michikatsu much, unfortunately, but I'm sure he's just as lovely to be around as his brother and friends!

Suyako(AMSG): They're both very nice. Yoriichi's been super helpful while his brother and friends are recovering. It took a little getting used to, but his presence is far from unwelcome.

2: S&TF(💕) Uta; What was your encounter with Muzan like, and do you and Yoriichi have any children?

It was pretty scary. I mean, the progenitor of all demons, right in front of me?! Especially after seeing all those organs inside of his body! *shudders* Those are images that are never leaving my head. How does Yoriichi see that sort of stuff every day, and not be fazed by it?!

And yes, Yoriichi and I do have a baby. Only because he got home before the demon could hurt me and our baby, but still! Her name is Megumi[kanji for blessing], since we both felt that the gods had given the three of us a rather large blessing to survive that night. We haven't had any kids since, though. Yoriichi's injuries mean he can't fight, and I'd feel bad about setting aside the responsibility I picked up as a Demon Slayer to have another baby.

3: S&TF Shinobu and Genya; How did you feel when you found Kanae and Sanemi in the aftermath of their battle against Upper Moon Two?

Shinobu: Well, I was definitely terrified when I saw all the blood. But I was grateful Kanae was alive. After that I went to focus on patching up Shinazugawa to keep an infection at bay. It took a lot of work to keep him alive in that time, and he almost didn't make it. It was honestly a bit of a blur after I realized how badly he was injured.

Genya: I was... terrified. I'd heard about the Demon Slayers, and stumbled across one who mentioned 'Nemi. It took a lot of asking around, but I found my way to the Butterfly Mansion. When I heard he was in critical condition and needed surgery, it just made me so much more scared. I thought he'd die before I got to apologize to him for what I said. I'm thanking the gods every day that he pulled through, and I'm glad Tanjirou and Inosuke were there to keep my head in the right space while 'Nemi was recovering.

4: To MPCS(🌙1, I know it says 2, but the commenter informed me it was a typo) Tsugikuni twins; What are your feelings on Ranhime and Uta?

Well, they're both lovely young women. Ranhime and I are amicable, though we don't interact particularly often. It seems Michikatsu's heart rate tends to pick up around her recently, so he seems to like her.

*betrayed gasp and growls*

Uta is lovely. I quite enjoy listening to her talk, and could probably do so all day, if we had the time. Maybe we will, someday...

Hmph. Mmph mm-hmph!

5: Mirrored Sunset(🔄) Douma; How is it, taking care of the Kamaboko Squad? Have you ever had to pick them up from prison?

Oh, they're lovely. And I haven't had to pick them up from prison once, thank goodness. Even if Ume and Inosuke can be a bit rowdy. But that's just who they are as siblings!

[Unfortunately, I can't answer question 6, as I haven't fully decided who's on the Kamaboko Squad in either of the Tsugikuni-Kamado Swap AUs... Sorry!]

[fuck-you-official]

fuck you dad. fuck you for everything. fuck you for ruining my life. fuck you for being such a good respectable man when we all knew who you were. especially me and you. the both of us know that that facade is faker than the love you pretended to have for both me and mom. you only cared about yourself, and when something bad did actually happen to you, when your mother died and you expected us all to coddle you. the rest of them might've cared, but I didn't. not after the trauma you gave me at such a young age, i couldn't even process it and whether it was a dream or if you knew i wouldn't be able to differentiate that memory if it was real or not. id say fuck you to my mom for never noticing, but i've forgiven her. unlike you, she had something to grow and change from. you could only abuse the ones you love and say nothing or even deny it. she accepted her mistakes and knew she did something wrong but we all know that even if you did that for once in your life, who would ever forgive someone, even less someone they were supposed to love and trust, for ruining me and defiling me, selling my body out just to get yourself kicking. god save my mothers gut-wrenched soul for the fact that you manipulated her into making her believe every slippery lie that fell off your tongue, every excuse that you came up for yourself, every pin and pointing finger you threw at me to blame me. i love my mother so dearly, the fact that you would get angry at her for your own faults and whine like a man baby when she called you out on it makes me want you to take a nice visit to the ninth circle of hell. the years its taken me (and still taking me) to recover from your abuse. i can't ask for help easily, i can't speak up about my interests or thoughts without thinking of how people might think, i can barely stand in the same room next to an older man around your age without wanting to cry or shutdown. my mom can't even bring a man shes been talking to into the house without me shutting myself away and wanting him to leave. i love reading, but god forbid i try to imagine the image of big, rough, course hands without thinking that they were yours. you made me begin to form insecurities at the age of 6. i thought i was so ugly and weird because thats what daddy told me. you sexualized me so much, i began to question whether that was normal for most families. i asked friends at school, essentially asking "hey guys, does your dad tell you you're chest is growing in so well already or is that just me" and they were fucking concerned, and i didn't know better so i thought they were just judgemental. i thought everyone wrestled with their dad and tickled eachother and even did a little gropin here and there, hell everyone knows that tradition! /s

it's been 3 years since i moved. im forgetting your face, but im also forgetting my stepbrothers faces too. they were the one thing i loved about living there, i miss them both, and the fact you ruined my life to where i can never see them again makes me realize how much of a selfish prick you are. i hope all the fat in your body doesn't add fuel for the flames of hell you'll burn in. I've far moved on from the chapter of my life that had you in it, but are you ever really able to move on from an imprinted image in your mind that haunts you occasionally, reminding you why you're like this, telling you that you're the reason for both the cause and effect of your trauma? not really. when court decides to get off their ass and actually plan the court date for your charges, I will be there. and I'll be the last, sweet image you see before your soap dropping, bitch boy days in a cell. and when you die, ill cremate you so i can roll you into a joint and smoke you.

sincerely, the kid you never bothered to respect.

p.s wait till you find out how nicely they treat child predators in jail.

.

[siennafrxst]

↳ all too well 𖤐𓈒࣪₊˚

(part 2)

if you haven’t read chapter 1, click here.

word count: 1079 words

The two fall onto a mattress, unconscious. Loki felt lightheaded and weak, unable to wake himself up. His vision was blurry and he felt as though he had been paralyzed. He needed to get up, but he couldn't.

Suddenly, he feels movement from behind, causing him to rapidly blink his eyes, attempting to regain consciousness. He then feels something nudge him, which instantly revives him from his phased state. He spots the Loki Variant reaching for the TemPad on the floor. Quickly, he shoved her aggressively to the side before she could take the TemPad. While she was recovering from his attack, Loki took the chance to reach for the device. Unfortunately, the Loki Variant speedily grabbed him by the legs, unallowing him to move any further.

Panting, Loki exerted all the energy he had left and utilized his telekinesis abilities to finally snatch the TemPad. He then used his mastery of duplication casting and presence concealment to briefly roll away without the disturbance from the Loki Variant. The holographic mirror of himself instantly vanished as soon as it was created, due to the Loki Variant being in contact with it. Caught by surprise, her head had slammed onto the floor, causing her to groan in frustration. Realizing that Loki had used his powers, she hastily stood up, staying alert. Suddenly, she felt someone pressing themselves behind her back, a knife now horribly close to her neck.

They were both breathing heavily, exhausted from yet another fight. She could hear his heavy breathing around her right ear, causing her to shiver faintly.

"I have several questions for you."

"Well, I do too."

Suddenly, the ground beneath them began to rumble, causing them to shake at the vibration.

"Where the hell have you brought us?" the Loki Variant exclaimed in alarm.

"I can only assume that we have been transported to a destructive and disastrous apocalyptic event, all thanks to your TemPad."

"You're damn right it's mine. So I should be the one who has it."

"You're going to have to try harder than that to convince me."

"I wasn't asking."

"And I wasn't kidding."

The Loki Variant sighed exasperatingly. "Check the TemPad to see which event you have brought us to."

"And why should I listen to you?"

"It's so that we know what we're dealing with, Sherlock!"

"Alright, calm yourself."

With one hand still holding the knife around her neck, Loki brought out the TemPad with his other hand. He accessed the device and scanned for the designated year and location.

"2077, Lamentis-1," Loki read out loud.

The Loki Variant whipped her head towards Loki, careful not to come in contact with the blade. "Lamentis-1? You idiot! You just brought us to the worst possible apocalyptic event. Nobody survives it!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, your majesty, but I didn't have time to read the manual!"

The Loki Variant attempted to nudge around, but Loki simply tightened his grip around her neck, causing her to inhale sharply.

"Fine, leave me here to die. You'll just use my TemPad to escape and I'll be left here to perish alone."

"First of all, this TemPad was never yours to begin with. You must have stolen it from the TVA. Second, who said anything about leaving you here? I still have questions that—unfortunately—only you can answer."

"And what makes you believe that I will participate in your little scheme?"

"Because of a... truce. If you truthfully answer my questions, I will let you go."

"If you were truly a variant of me—"

"You're the variant."

"—we're all variants, Sherlock."

"Stop calling me that."

"No."

"I wasn't asking."

"And I wasn't kidding."

"Oh, so now you're using my lines?"

The Loki Variant rolled her eyes at the stubborn god. "As I was saying—before you rudely interuptted me—if you were truly a variant of mine, you should know that there is a good chance that I'll lie to you, anyway."

"Then I have to take your word for it."

"You must be truly desperate to trust me."

Loki chuckled softly at her response. Oh, if only you knew.

"I guess I am."

"Shoot away, then."

Loki paused for a moment, wondering if this was a good idea. If only he had telepathy then he wouldn't need to deal with this shit.

"What is your name?"

The Loki Variant sights softly in defeat. "y/n."

And that was when Loki's emerald eyes grew in pure and utter shock. They not only looked alike, but they even had the same name... how was that possible? Is this just the universe's way of coming back at him for all the things he did?

"What's so fascinating about my name?" y/n questioned, noticing the sudden silence.

Loki hesitated before responding to her. "It's none of your business. Now, second question, what is your goal? I mean, from what I understand, you have been running from the TVA for as long as you can remember. What are you planning to do with the TVA?"

"For your information, I don't want to overun it, if that's what you're thinking. I want to destroy it—as if it had never existed."

"Okay, let's say that you do destroy the TVA—although I highly doubt that you will—then what? What will you be doing afterwards? What happens ne—"

"I thought you said that was your final question."

Loki huffed at her in annoyance. "Do you want your TemPad back or not?"

y/n rolls her eyes at the absurd amount of questions he was asking. "You know, for a so-called 'Loki Variant,' you seem to be oddly curious."

"Just shut your mouth, obey, and answer my question. It's not that difficult."

"Fine. Once I inevitably destroy the TVA, I'll use the TemPad to teleport to a peaceful universe and live there for the rest of my life. Now, can I have my TemPad back?"

Loki had almost chuckled at that plan of hers. Not because it was seemingly impossible and utterly vague—although, it was—but because of how similar it was to his mischevious plans. All his existence, he had been searching for freedom. Freedom from his family, his thoughts, his life. He's been running all his life, looking for his purpose—his reason to live. He just never thought the reason would be Y/N.

Maybe this Loki variant was how he would've ended up if he had never met Y/N.

[qzwrites]

bingliushen fuck or die + angst

this outline is like. detailed narrative smut, then a silly argument, and then it kind of peters out because i don't know where i was going with this, i'm just incapable of being horny without crafting a narrative about it

okay we open with a standard sex pollen + trapped somewhere or whatever scenario with lqg the one hit (presumably bc he took a blow for sqq or lbh) and sqq is like oh well um yes i do know the cure but also um. and both lbh and lqg are like just spit it out and sqq is like aaaa he needs to...finish...in someone else's body

and lbh just looks at lqg and is like I FUCKING DARE YOU TO SAY SOMETHING and lqg is just like. well it would be fine if i died but i'm not really into taking down sqq with me...or lbh i guess but mostly sqq...and lbh is like shizun when you say in someone else's body, how "inside" are we talking

and sqq is like. well in the novel it was definitely a creampie but that was only after curing the curse with oral sex so he's like due to the magic mumbo jumbo, idk if a hand would work but a mouth definitely would? and lbh is like. fine, i'll do it

and sqq is like BINGHE NO DON'T LOWER YOURSELF IT'S FINE I'LL DO IT and binghe just immediately turns on the crocodile tears and is like shizun i couldn't STAND watching you pleasure another man...even to save our lives...please forgive this husband for betraying you and being so selfish....

and liu qingge is like. i'm in hell.

(i think maybe this needs to be in liu qingge's perspective bc we need to see binghe's scheming but we also need to. know how distressing and confusing liu qingge finds all this)

and lbh is like. perfectly willing to make this a businesslike blowjob, except he notices sqq is. interested. and then he immediately turns into a porn star and liu qingge is like holy shit. holy shit. oh my god.

so lbh sucks lqg's soul out through his dick, and then while lqg is trying to catch his breath and recover from a very stressful loss of virginity, sqq is like ...binghe...><...could you give me a hand...

and lqg would leave and give them privacy but his legs aren't working yet because he's never come that hard in his fucking life, so now he's awkwardly trying not to look at sqq and lbh making out, and not hear lbh being extremely filthy with his dirty talk, and then lbh yells his name like he's tried to get his attention a couple of times (he has) and lqg looks over and there's sqq half-undressed, with his dick out, and lbh is like shishu come kiss my husband

lqg is like WHAT

lbh is like. well it seems like shizun didn't just like watching me suck another man's cock, it seems like he found liu-shishu himself attractive. so get over here and help me get him off. (he's probably slightly less polite in this exchange than he would be in front of sqq, but sqq is. dickmatized. he's too horny to care about what lbh is saying or how he says it)

so lqg creeps over and keeps checking with lbh, who is like "get on with it", and kisses sqq, and is totally taken by surprise by the wanton moaning into his mouth that happens

sqq is so out of it it literally takes him a minute to realize there are two mouths on his body right now and binghe only has one mouth and he's like AH SHIDI? and lqg is about to flee, but lbh grabs him and looks up from sqq's dick and is like "shizun, don't you think shishu is pretty? didn't you like watching him come?" and sqq blusters and stammers, and lbh is like "shishu, you don't mind do you?" and lqg blusters and stammers, and lbh is like "great, i'm going to go back to sucking dick now"

and every time lqg goes to do something, he looks at sqq, and sqq looks at lbh, and lbh just like. pinches or pokes lqg or something. so lqg kisses sqq, and touches his neck, and his chest, and kisses down his body, and sucks on his nipple, and sqq obviously comes (and lbh is obviously smug and delighted about it), and then sqq recovers way faster than lqg did and is like WELL THAT'S ONE CURSE BROKEN, I'LL JUST HEAD BACK, BINGHE YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF THE CLEAN-UP RIGHT, HELP YOUR SHISHU and books it

and lbh is like. well i'm going to see if that's something he wants when he's not zonked out of his mind on lust, don't fucking touch him again until i tell you it's okay, and then also leaves

and lqg is like ???

*

lqg is totally willing to just. accept that weird things happen sometimes. like, the sex pollen and fuck or die things are relatively commonplace (more so around sqq) and weird things happen around both sqq and lbh, and lbh obviously only did that because he thought sqq wanted it, and...it seemed like sqq did enjoy himself...which was nice...but it means nothing and is never going to happen again so he's just going to stop thinking about it!

and then lbh shows up on bai zhan peak and is like. okay he's into it, come to dinner

and lqg is like ??? you want me to have sex with your husband? you don't even like me? why would i do this?

lbh is like. okay you're not this stupid usually. i do not want you to have sex with my husband, i was thinking i would have sex with you in front of him, he liked that well enough last time. whether or not i like you has nothing to do with whether shizun finds you attractive? and shizun should have everything he wants, ergo, shizun should have you. idk he's always been weirdly insistent that i should have a harem, maybe he'll shut up about it if we're having sex. and you would do this because there's no other way you're going to be with him and you also want him to have what he wants, don't you?

and like. well. now lqg is feeling uncomfortably Seen. and also like he has things in common with lbh. neither of which he likes.

he goes to dinner.

he gets to make out with sqq, which is nice, and then he gets fucked by lbh, which is. a pretty intense experience! it's physically enjoyable and he gets to see how much sqq likes watching it, which is a lot, and he comes, and then he's just kind of there while sqq and lbh have lovey-dovey sex, and he's like ohhhhh this sucks i don't like this actually

but the next invitation comes from sqq, and he's so cheerful and happy about it that lqg doesn't say anything, and sqq dares to suggest maybe they could try it the other way around, so lqg fucks binghe and binghe is. way more into it than lqg expected him to be actually. like he's crying and lqg doesn't think the tears are fake. lbh appears to be having some kind of fucking Realization and lqg does not want to be there, except sqq is super into it and so is lqg's dick, so he's like. well. mama didn't raise no quitter, anyway

and it's like. sqq is treating him like normal, like a friend, and being cute, and then suggesting filthy things to do together, and lqg does like. get off on it. it's sex. it's nice. except then inevitably there comes the part of the evening where sqq and lbh have basically forgotten about him and are in their own little world, which is annoying enough when lqg is just laying there coming down, but is excruciating when (eg) one of them is using him like a sex toy. like yes it's hot when sqq fucks his mouth while he and lbh make out but it doesn't make lqg happy

and eventually lqg is like. yeah okay enough is enough, this is not working for me, and he makes sure to find sqq some time when lbh is off in the demon realm or something, and is like. sqq please tell your husband you don't want to have sex with me anymore.

and sqq is like >///< excuse me? shidi?

lqg is like. i don't. want to do it anymore.

and sqq is like omg shidi i'm so sorry i thought--i mean you always seemed to enjoy yourself...

and lqg has to clarify like. no it's. physically it's. pleasurable. but it makes me feel. bad. emotionally.

and sqq is like oh. um. i'm sorry. and they just like sit there for a while. and then sqq is like why don't you tell binghe yourself, though?

and lqg is like oh my god you stupid motherfucker. (he does not say that but that's the emotion he experiences) you know lbh doesn't even like me, right? i don't know if he even finds me attractive. he's doing this for you.

and sqq is like I'M SURE I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN

and lqg is like aaaaaaaaaaaaa shixiong. please. yes you do. he realized you...find the two of us together pleasing...and that's why he brought me into your bed. it is completely and entirely because you like it. he would not do it if not for you. (he does not say, i would not do it if not for you) if i try to tell him i'm not doing it anymore, it's...not going to work. (sqq probably assumes this means they'll fight about it, but lqg is kind of more concerned that lbh will just. tell him more things about how he feels about sqq. devastating) and i know other cultivators sometimes say you don't care about anyone's feelings but lbh's but i know that's not true and i am asking you, as a friend, to please convince your husband you don't want to have sex with me anymore.

and lqg is like. phew. god that was too many feelings, i need to go kill something

MEANWHILE sqq runs to an ding peak and is like CUCUMBER AM I A BAD PERSON?

without missing a beat sqh is like yeah

except instead of sniping back sqq is like. oh. i see. and starts shuffling off sadly

so sqh has to be like oh my god i didn't MEAN it you turned my fearsome demon emperor into a spoiled housewife through the power of love, you are clearly not a bad person, what is wrong

and sqq is like. okay so you remember the FOD plot device

and sqh is like bro you must know the answer is no

and sqq sighs and is like. the blowjob curse. that then ended up with a creampie anyway. because you're a hack.

and sqh is like oh lmao yeah that one, what about it

sqq is like. well. so. um. liu shidi got hit with it? while we were on a hunt?

and sqh is like oh shit, how did lbh take that news

sqq is like umm. he was there. so. pretty good i guess?

and sqh is like. *eyes narrow*

sqq is like so binghe sucked him off but it was--i mean liu shidi is very pretty! and i like watching binghe do things he's good at! so i got kind of horny! and then binghe noticed that, of course, and um. we've kind of been having threesomes with lqg for the last six months but earlier lqg said he didn't want to do it anymore because it hurt his feelings??? and i never even noticed he was having any kind of feelings about it at all, i thought--i mean. you know.

sqh is like cucumber, no one in this world or the last knows what the fuck you mean when you say things like that. i have NO IDEA what you thought because WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING what the FUCK have you been doing what the FUCK. what the fuck.

sqq is like shidi said binghe was only even doing it for me! and he didn't even want shidi! which is ridiculous, right? i mean he's so pretty. but why would binghe like. why would he. i mean i did like watching them but that's. i assumed that was a bonus, not like. the point.

sqh is like. i am not qualified to talk about most of that but i can tell you, luo binghe would do literally anything if he thought it was what you wanted. if he really thought you wanted him to have a harem, he would have a harem. if he thought you really wanted him to kill himself, he would fucking kill himself. and if he thought you wanted a harem, he would start rounding up every person you'd ever said was attractive and grilling them to see if they were trustworthy. so yeah, i'm not surprised you expressed attraction to the one other person in the world as in love with you as luo binghe is and luo binghe was like. i guess it's time to suffer through threesomes for shizun

and sqq is like WHAT

and sqh is like oh my god. oh my GOD. are you telling me you didn't KNOW? WHY DID YOU THINK IT HURT HIS FEELINGS TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND

and sqq is like i don't know! i hadn't gotten that far!!! i thought maybe he liked binghe and was sad binghe didn't like him back???

sqh is like you are so fucking stupid. i cannot believe you have two of the most powerful men in the world fighting for your attention. except...i guess i did kind of write pidw with a lot of attractive bimbos in it...is it my fault actually??? is it my fault you're irresistible??? i assume you died a virgin neet irl since that's what my audience was so you could hardly have been irresistible then....

and sqq is like. well everything is your fault so yes, but also, i am not a bimbo what is wrong with you

i think at this point they just like. devolve into inane squabbling over petty bullshit and completely forget the actual emotional crisis sqq came there with.

[lordrandreaming]

Abt my Elden Ring playthrough:

I can confidently say after 18ish hours in ER, i am level 39 and am quickly making my way around, snagging all the Sites of Grace i see. The game is a BLAST to play, its utterly refreshing!I just wish i had ps+, i don't have the money for that right now, so I'm doing the game without human help, I'm still using npc summons ofc! (Thx Roiger, you were a great distraction for Margit..)

Just like i did DS3 my first run! Barely to no human help. Sure i won't get invaded by people, or be able to invade.. But know, if i was invading, i would fucking get you. 

But im offline! And seek to stay offline. 

I really wanted Elden Ring when i learned abt Maliketh, at first i thought he was a half beastman like from Bloodborne, but i learned his was a big ole wolf, i was set.. And then i learned more about Varre, instead of thinking he was calling me bitchless, he just stated i couldn't level up basically. I want to smash both of them. And i will. 

I love fighting Artorias, so flighty isn't going to be a problem. Im honestly very excited to fight Maliketh! I plan on finishing Gurranq's quest before i fight him, so he's all there and i get a special dialogue!

I honestly really love Elden Ring, it's just so fun. It's like discovering DS3 for the first time all over again, and that... Well, that was 6 years ago. About to be 7.. It makes me nostalgic. Im level 350 and have been in NG+7 way before Ashes of Ariandel was even announced. Sure, i played through as a Sorcerer and a Miracle build, but i prefer playing with my op as shit quality build! Which, started off as a strength build.

Elden Ring reminds me of first ending up in the world of Dark Souls, it's beautiful mystery, the crippling depravity, how everyone has lost hope.. Hollows everywhere, having my shield up basically 24/7 when i first explored. I'll never forget the sense wonder and magic i felt the first time through. After DS3, no DLC yet, i moved onto Bloodborne, which is second place in my favorites of the Soulsgames, it sits with DS2. My number 1 faves though, have to be DS, DS3, and now, Elden Ring.

I LOVE Bloodborne. I platinumed it, and honestly think it's easier than Dark Souls, on account of how fast you move, the guns, and when you get hit you get the chance to recover lost health. It was a different feel, its so unique to itself! The lore is very intruiging and fucked up, like any Souls game, the character's are sparce but still around, and oh my god.. Don't get me started on the general macabre beauty of it all! I crawled all the chalice's, i got all the endings, i did it all with BB and DS3.

DS itself.. Oh my fucking god. I only have the original Prepare to Die version, as i been had it long before the remaster was announced. My save wouldn't be on there, and i already progressed *so much*.. I didn't think it worth 40$ for visual upgrades that i didn't like. Not to mention, it helped me cut off a toxic friendship, so im definantly not getting it.

Anyways, the original DS journey is such a gorgeous and tragic one, and us, the Chosen Undead go on some wackass pilgrimage all the way to Gwyn's tomb, the Kiln of the First Flame. After all I've seen, enemies I've felled, i knew the right choice would be the Dark Lord Ending. Because, linking the first flame gives us DS3. The world collapsed in on itself at the very end, the.. Kiln no longer exists. I like the ending where everything stops, but it all just starts again anyway.

Artorias was the first true Character i fell in love with. His lore makes me cry every time, he's my fucking babygirl.. I adore him so much, and the Original DS. I remember seeing it around when i was 10-11 years old. I didn't know what the fuck it was, but heard it was really hard. (At this time i rage quitted.. Alot.) So i steered clear of it, until years later and i got addicted to the series.

Dark Souls, Soulsborne in general, just mean alot to me. It helps me cope with the harshest fuckin reality. I don't care if people think im lost in my head in a non-existent fantasy land of depression, difficulty, and darkness. But.. Here's the thing. Even admist all the chaos, all the hoplessness, the hollowing, there's still this unbridled determination, that someone is coming along to fix things, or do something that no one else has done. And we, the Chosen, do just that. NPC's can't believe we are still kicking, after we die however many times yet still we make progress. We overcome the challenges no one else has been able to, and everything is new to the pain and suffering.

It's an incredible journey that im glad i was finally able to complete. The Nameless Song always makes me so nostalgic, reminding me of a time i don't have anymore, and never will have again.

DS2, on the other hand, well. I haven't completed it yet! But it's super fun. It's not a Miyazaki masterpiece, but it's still a Souls game. The sense of direction isn't very clear, so i have to look up where to go next, but regardless, im enjoying my journey through Drangleic. It's defiantly different! But it's not bad like some people want you to.

I used to hate it really, and i regret it. For it's a great game, and a good Souls game. I used to say: It's a good game, but not a good *Souls* game. But.. I see things differently now. I've grown up, and see the beauty of it's world. The diverging routes are many, and they run deep. From 16 years old, until now, i didn't appreciate the game for what it was worth. And I apologize, DS2 for treating you like trash. I see now, why people still defend it's greatness to the teeth. But it will never hold a candle to the brilliance of the original DS. 

Bloodborne, is a whole new can of fucked to open up and explore, exposing it's raw sins and secrets to our hunter. It's extremely unique, and overall very fun to play. Almost maxed out my game into NG+7, I've been at the end of my NG+6 playthrough for a very long time, because i like just. Getting to be around, DS3 let's you stay and not move on to the next NG, but.. All the other's don't let you do that. So, i go wherever i want, without anyone gatekeeping me because, well, i already murdered everyone.

When i first began BB, i didn't know what to expect. With Souls games, i pick up bits and pieces of lore, not gameplay, before i jump in. I like going in blind- with some help from the Internet if i need it. Bloodborne has a seamless path, easily leading you everywhere and nowhere at once! I highly recommend playing it. Though if you use a shield 100% of your playthrough in any DS.. Good luck buddy!

The Old Hunter's DLC is BRILLIANT. The fights (not you living failures.. Still fun though.) are incredible! Especially Lady Maria.. Catch me being Bisexual in BB. She can step on me, beat the crap out of me, and i would thank her.. I've actually streamed my NG+6 Maria fight and talked about lore! I'll link it in the comments so whoever cares can go watch me play! Maybe I'll stream Elden Ring at some point.. But anyway!

Old Hunter's is absolutely worth the money and time.

Onto DS3.. My first Souls game. I got it when it released in the US, and had NO idea what i was gettin into. And yeah, i raged at Gundyr and took a week long break before i came crawling back to not get my ass beat, but to first try Gundyr with a new character! Gilligan was his name. He still exists! But.. Not with his original save. I killed Emma and made a big regretti, so i deleted him and started over with my now 350 character, Tyberious.

Before i delve into DS3, i just want to say, all my main DS character's, and even my Bloodborne and ER character's are all the same one soul. They are all different, lead different lives, did different things, but they are all connected. Starting with Selvirous (DS), to Ivaan (DS2), to Tyberious (DS3), to Octavious Xavier Targrei (BB), and now, Daedra (ER). All the same soul, only Daedra has an inkling these past lives, dreaming and remembering fragments from each. 

So. DS3, the first taste of Souls i got. The bosses are amazing, some more or less than others. My favorite fight will always be the Abyss Watchers, and my favorite covenant will always be the Watchdogs of Farron. I have a necklace with the covenant symbol on it, and have worn it for 6 years. I have NEVER taken it off, and i never will. I will die with this necklace.

Anywho.. My DS3 journey was amazing. Visually stunning, jaw dropping experience i will never forget, and DS3 will always have a special place with my heart. It helped me cope with the lost sense i felt, and the great grieving i was in for a very long time. It's not 'Just a Game'. It's a experience that teaches you, you don't just play it, you learn from it.

I already loved Medieval media, had a collection of swords (which.. I don't have anymore. Tragic story, yada yada.) And a friend showed me the Japanese Ocerios cutscene. From then on, i wanted the game. And yeah, loaded up and got my ass kicked. I didn't understand ANYTHING. So.. A week later. I come back, with a new character.

Off i went to begin my journey, and it only took me 125 hours, at level 105-110 to beat the Soul of Cinder. I felt accomplished. I went outside on a lovely summer day, and sat. I felt accomplished.. For ten minutes. I wanted more.. So i started my NG+ playthrough, and had just as much, if not MORE fun!

Especially since i hit so hard. I did years of Co-op and invading, hosted many fight clubs and joined many more. I won't lie, i dearly miss those days. I don't have that anymore, i don't pay for Xbox Live or PS+. Im strictly offline anymore, and im saddened i don't get to see phantoms of people running around, having the risk of being invaded 30 million times, and no human co-op summons.

But.. I'll get through it. I don't need Online experience to fully enjoy the game. I just miss companionship. I'm confident in myself though, and am certain i can beat the game with NPC summons.

Back to DS3- When Ashes first came out, i finished it in the same night. Freide, a Three Phase boss was NOT expected by anyone. After downing her and Ariandel, me and my three phantoms started waving and bowing, and then the health bar came back.

It was fun! But sweetly short. 

Around the time The Ringed City came out, i.. Was just robbed. Long story short, the people i was with took in a family friend's kid, who was a known drug addict and.. Yeah. While no one was home, he just took everything I had. Specifically Mine. I was lost.. For a while. I was heartbroken, and cried alot.

But no worries! My sorrows were fixed, and i replaced some of what i lost. But.. All my old consoles and games were gone, all my progress lost. But.. At least i had DS3 again, and my save was safe. But.. I had to start Bloodborne all over again. It didn't save to the cloud, but no worries. Clearly, i made up for the lost progress. (I was at the end of the game too..)

Onto the Ringed City. What a beautiful sendoff for the Souls series specifically.. It's a brilliant end to Dark Souls, and provides many answers to our many questions. But.. We come up with our own. And gods, I can't tell you how many times i fought Midir. IN MAXED OUT NEW GAME! I had a problem. He's difficult, but I'm determined.

I remember all the times i helped my low level friend's, being 300+, it was so funny to see invaders panic at how hard i hit. I helped with all the bosses, all the time.. And i don't do it anymore. But.. I hope to one day play with my friend, who bought me Elden Ring. Until then, i sit beside him and help him out how i can.

So.. 720+ hours spent in DS3. I say that time was well spent. Hours of fun, suffering, anger, and reward. All worth it in the end.. And in the beginning of Elden Ring.

I will admit, i was screaming and yelling out of how much i loved it. It's GORGEOUS. Absolute BEAUTY. The day-night and weather cycle greatly remind me and my buddy ole pal of The Witcher 3. Which, we both think the update was unnecessary, they just wanted to upshow ER and they are already making a remaster.. Just make the fuckin remaster, and leave the original alone. It was a dumb decision.. Anyway.

Elden Ring sends me over the moon every time i play it. I can't explain in words how much i love it, the looks, the feel, the fighting, everything is just beyond amazing, and i couldn't be happier to have it. 

I can't wait to play more, progress further, and one day complete the game however long it may take me. 

Thanks for reading. Im sorry I'm not writing as much. Real life is kicking my ass, but I'm still around, massing more prompts to one day finish. I'll be posting again.. One day.

[elizmanderson]

2024 wrap-up, part 2

part one | part three | part four

this year has been much better than last for reading! I did notice last year as I reviewed my reads that I wasn't reading a huge diversity of authors. so while I never set numbers-based goals for my reading, I did set the goal this year to make sure at least 50% of my reads were books by authors of color

I had SO MANY BOOKS by authors of color on my TBR already and even owned many of them, so I made sure to prioritize those books this year. and it was easy to hit 50% by making sure that any book I read by a white author was followed by an author of color (although I made a spreadsheet in November to make sure I was still on track). I'm a mood reader, but these books cover so many different genres that it was easy to diversify my reading once I prioritized that

another thing I tried this year but was less successful at was to prioritize reading in general by deciding to read one book a weekend

(this probably wouldn't work for a 500+ page book, but I have so little energy for such books anymore even though Lowercase E adored them)

the year started off strong with books finished in a single sitting on a Saturday morning/afternoon. but once April hit, my year got busier and I sort of never recovered

overall, however, I did read more consistently than I did in the last two years. while I don't have numbers for the last two years, so far this year I've read 37 books, which I'm 82% sure beats either 2022 or 2023 (which is nice even if I don't make numbers goals anymore)

top reads of 2024

The Year of the Witching by Alexis Henderson

not my usual genre (horror/dark fantasy), but a friend was clearing out her shelves a couple years back and the cover grabbed me. this was my first read of the year and is STILL one of my tops reads. holy shit it was so good. the worldbuilding was really cool, the book had a Gothic feeling that I always love (if I read horror, I usually reach for Gothic before other subgenres), the romance was just SO well done. partway through the book I found myself thinking, "wow, the only thing this book is missing is some queer characters" AND GUESS WHAT HAPPENED THAT VERY CHAPTER. this book was so good that I went online as soon as I finished it to buy Alexis Henderson's next book, House of Hunger.

note for anyone who hasn't read the book: apparently it's the first of at least an intended duology. the second book is postponed indefinitely, but honestly the first book can be read as a standalone. so if you're a "I won't read a series until it's done" person, I urge you to read The Year of the Witching nonetheless

...made myself want to reread this but alas I'm in Georgia visiting the parental units, and the book is back in Ohio

maybe I'll make it my first read of the year again lmao

link to The Year of the Witching on BookShop

They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera

all I can say about this book (aside from how masterfully done it is) is that I reached the end, flipped the page, found "acknowledgements" staring up at me, and said OUT LOUD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE POLE STUDIO* "wait what that's it???????" and then YELLED about the book to my instructor and other students

*class had not started yet, I finished the book while waiting bc I'd arrived early

there's apparently both a prequel and a sequel, and I am both looking forward to and scared to read them

link to They Both Die at the End on BookShop

Arsenic & Adobo by Mia P. Manansala

actually I read the entire Tita Rosie's Kitchen Mysteries to date, which should tell you how good the first book was! I love a good cozy mystery, and the whole series is great. also: Tita Rosie and Jonathan 5ever oh my god they're so cute together and Tita Rosie deserves the best. if you're the type of mystery reader who likes recipes at the end of your book, this series is for you

I think there are five books so far with a sixth on the way! it's helpful to read them in order since the community in each book does build on the characters introduced in the previous book, but being cozy mysteries the plot doesn't super depend on you having read anything previous

(apparently she also has a YA mystery coming up?? hell yeah)

link to Arsenic & Adobo on BookShop

Vera Wong's Unsolicited Advice for Murderers by Jesse Q. Sutanto

OBVIOUSLY I've been looking forward to reading this one ever since I learned about it, because it's a little old lady getting into shenanigans. oh my god it exceeded my wildest expectations. I love Vera SO MUCH. I laughed aloud a lot, I cried a lot, and I worried over who the murderer might be because of the multiple POVs and the found family...each member of which had a good reason to want the murder victim dead :,) I'm still devastated (positive)

we're getting a SEQUEL and I cannot overstate my excitement to get a second Vera Wong book

link to Vera Wong's Unsolicited Advice for Murderers on BookShop

...I was going to do a top five but honestly there are SO MANY good books left on my spreadsheet that I don't think I can choose between them to list just one more. so let's look ahead to next year instead

upcoming books I'm looking forward to

A Witch's Guide to Magical Innkeeping by Sangu Mandanna

adult cozy fantasy featuring an undead rooster and elderly lesbians, so this is probably my number one book I'm looking forward to

Vera Wong's Guide to Snooping (on a Dead Man) by Jesse Q. Sutanto

adult cozy mystery and OBVIOUSLY I'm looking forward to this one

This Ends in Embers by Kamilah Cole

YA fantasy sequel to Kamilah Cole's debut So Let Them Burn

The Ashfire King by Chelsea Abdullah

adult fantasy sequel to Chelsea Abdullah's debut The Stardust Thief

(okay, I also listed that last one last year or the year before, but in my defense it kept getting pushed back)(actually so did the first one, but the first one wasn't on my radar last year)(the point is, I'm looking forward to both of them, and both of them are DEFINITELY FOR SURE coming out in 2025)

tune in later for part three!

[spectral-phases]

Oh, I can help answer these questions for you! So! (Don't worry, DC didn't skip over it, but Joker is known to be alive before Jason returns as Red Hood)

Tim Drake first shows up, contrary to popular belief, at least about a year after Jason dies. Jason dies April 27th of whatever year is best for canon. Tim shows up on a break week from school. Schools only have break weeks in the fall (maybe November due to election/teacher conferences), winter (Christmas/New Years) or spring (Easter). Based on the scenery, we can assume it's for his Spring Break, which would be March/April.

(Batman 1940 #441)

As far as his purpose, it's a mix of wanting to help save Bruce, being a really dumb 13 year-old, and wanting Bruce to stop being more violent. He says "he's been acting crazy" and "reports about Batm on the rampage" and "get(ing) so much more violent after Jason died" and "going off the deep end." But there's also the fact that Bruce no longer seems to care about what happens to him. The comic Tim is introduced in, Batman is noted to get hurt severely almost every night and he keeps going. Alfred remarks that Bruce no longer seems to plan the details to avoid being severely injured.

(Batman 1940 #440)

So I think the concern is that he's making his misery the Gotham underground's until someone puts him out of his.

Anyway. It's about a year after Jason dies. Joker does show up at the end of Tim's introduction, having been shown being the one riling up Harvey Dent through a radio while still recovering from the injuries sustained from the helicopter crash.

(Batman 1940 #442)

So, a year later, he's still injured and recuperating. I imagine that even if Bruce wasn't convinced he was dead without the body, he had to have started to believe the Joker was dead by now. Everyone in Gotham believes that the Joker is dead by this point.

While Tim is still in training to become Robin, an imposter Joker comes onto the scene, but everyone thinks it's the real Joker again. Bruce immediately pays for and gets Tim's class at the boarding school on the next flight to Japan for a week-long trip, all the while concerned about what he's going to do with Joker when he finds him and again thinking he really shouldn't have partners and never allowed Tim into the life.

(Batman 1940, #450)

It's a recurring theme throughout the arc. Bruce and Jim Gordon (father of Barbara Gordon, who was paralyzed by the Joker before Jason died?) are constantly like "oh my god, what am I going to do when I find the Joker now? I want to kill him. I should kill him. I'm scared of how much I want to kill him."

(Batman 1940, #451)

The Joker is having PTSD about being shot in the helicopter and nearly dying and having trouble being himself (and cry harder. Suffer? Die, maybe? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, but have some pics to point and laugh at the Joker with?)

(Batman 1940, #451)

The arc ends with Curtis luring Batman and Gordon to the chemical plant alone to kill them and prove he's the better Joker. The real Joker shows up to prove he's the only Joker. Curtis decides that the makeup isn't good enough and is like "I'll jump into the acids and become a better Joker," and dies because the acids are stronger now and dissolve his body quickly. Batman and Gordon have the chance to kill the Joker, and they both really, really want to.

(Batman 1940, #451)

So. That's that. Jim might not have gone through with it because he saw the other officers there and that might have gotten them both in trouble (shooting and killing a restrained criminal?), but I think there was a real possibility that if Jim had said "fuck it" there is a very good chance that Bruce would have gone along with it. He tells Jim Gordon, the man who comforted him after his parent's death, to decide what "we" do with him (another possibility, Jim knows this and cannot abuse Bruce's trust in him? Anyway). It's six issues away from Tim becoming Robin officially (on Christmas Day), so maybe it's been about a year and six months since Jason died in-world or so. They both want the Joker dead more than anything else, but they just...can't. They've been removed from the immediate pain enough, Barbara is making a new life for herself and Bruce has Tim now, that it's just not enough to betray their morals, despite their obvious, seething hatred. I don't think that's wrong for either of them.

As for the Red Hood confrontation, that's like...a whole different Ted Talk.

Anyway, fucking missed opportunity for Jason to hear any of this. Like. Come on. We can't get anything in this place. I'd at least love to see him find pictures of the Joker crying about getting shot here.

I need people to stop getting so precious about Clark "not letting" Bruce kill the Joker after Jason’s death post-Crisis. Everyone acts like it was like this:

But it was more:

So, we all know the story. Actually. Wait. Maybe we don't. So. The story beneath the cut.

Jason got benched as being Robin because he was not dealing well with his parents' deaths, felt like he was no longer wanted because he was adopted specifically to be Robin (and Bruce is shit at making his kids feel loved a lot of times). Jason discovered the woman who raised him was his step mother, not his bio mother. He goes looking for bio mom. Finds bio mom, she hugs him and tells him she's missed him so much, Bruce contemplates letting Jason live with his family if that would make him happier despite being obviously cut up about the idea of losing Jason. Bio mom is being extorted by the Joker to let him ship out Joker Venom disguised as medical supplies because he can't just steal the supplies and sell them. Bruce has to go stop the shipment of Joker Venom, his portable chopper is too small for two, so Jason is left behind. Jason is told to wait, but The Killing Joke just happened and his bio mom is alone with the Joker (who is insane, capricious and evil), so, obviously he has to save his mother and could not wait. Bio Mom is outside, no guards, Jason says, "Hey, I'm actually Robin, I'm here to save you from the Joker" and she says "Nah, he's actually gone, so I'm fine. But let's go inside so I can grab my things and we can leave." Her things turn out to be a gun to point at Jason after leading him to the Joker. Jason is too stunned to move. The Joker and his goons beat Jason up and then the Joker uses the crowbar to finish beating him to a presumed death. His bio mom at some point couldn't bear to watch it anymore and turns around to smoke a cigarette. Once Joker’s done, bio mom asks what they're going to do about Batman, and the Joker is all "oh. Yeah, lol. Probably was a bad idea to kill his kid. Whoops. My bad." And then ties up the bio mom to kill her and erase any evidence he brutally attacked/killed Jason. The Joker sets a bomb on a timer and leaves. Jason uses the last of his strength to untie his bio mom so she can escape. He can't see well enough to try and disarm the bomb. She tries to get them both out. The door is locked. Jason shields her as the bomb goes off, but she dies just as Batman comes up and tells him the Joker did it, calls Jason a hero, says he deserved a better mother (he did) but does not/is unable to own up to her part in Jason’s death before dying herself. Bruce finds Jason’s body and is fucking devastated.

So after that, Bruce chases the Joker down to the UN because the Joker lucked into being a diplomat for Iran and is now meeting at the UN assembly in New York. Bruce is 100% set on doing a premeditated murder of the Joker for Jason. The US government is aware of this. They hire Superman to grab Batman to try and talk him down because the Joker has diplomatic immunity for past crimes. It does not go well.

"That’s the law, not Justice." Batman is 100% still going to kill the Joker. Everyone knows. Superman knows. Superman says the stupid thing is putting vengeance above the interests of the country, not killing Joker.

Batman sneaks into the Joker’s room, and the Joker (forgetting his earlier desire to not get fucking killed by Batman) is like "oh man, I wish I could have seen your face when you found his body" and further needles Bruce with a "Or are you here to thank me for getting rid of him for you?" Making Bruce triple down on killing the Joker.

"Your confirming it makes what I have to do a lot easier."

Bruce manages to get in to observe the UN meeting as Bruce Wayne. Superman is disguised as a guard. Bruce is seething, watching the Joker, knowing that is the guy who killed Jason.

"I should have terminated his vile existence years ago. But I didn't. I couldn't. His insanity gained him a stay of execution. But no longer. ... Jason’s dead."

They both know the Joker is too stupid and lacks the impulse control needed to not attack the UN and immediately lose his immunity, which is the only thing keeping him alive. Joker releases Joker Venom to kill the delegates. Superman super breathes to inhale all the gas, which he's immune to because he's Superman and then says this as he leaves to go find a place to release the poison gas safely.

"Batman, he's all yours."

Superman basically says "You can kill him now" because he knows Batman’s mind has not changed, and Superman had not once tried to say "killing Joker would be wrong" just that it couldn't happen before the Joker acted in a way that lost him his immunity.

And Bruce does go to do just that. He chases the Joker down, intent to kill, and jumps onto the helicopter the Joker is using to escape. One of the guys fires at Batman. It shoots the pilot, hits the Joker in damn near his heart, if not his heart, and Batman realizes the helicopter is going down and decides to jump and leave the Joker behind. He intends for the Joker to die in the crash.

Okay? Bruce was 100% going to kill the Joker for killing Jason. Superman said "hang on. Let him get enough rope to hang himself first and then you can do it." And then Joker only survived because comic books. And Bruce is unhappy about having to wait. Superman did not try to talk Bruce out of killing the Joker at all ever, or scold him for wanting to kill the Joker. (Don't say he was rescuing the Joker in that last panel. The next panel is Superman fishing Batman, who is shot in the arm, from the harbor, and Batman telling Superman to go find the body. Find the body! And Superman does go to do just that, but is unable to).

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[dusk-army-blog]

"So, another 'hero' breaches the keep," Sir Lain called out to the young man at the base of the grand staircase. The general sighed and began his descent, the jangling of plate and chain punctuating his every step. "To what do I owe the intrusion this time? Wait, don't tell me; I'd like to guess first." Stopping at the first landing, he looked over the intruder. Leather armor, no crest. Neither shield nor helmet. Sword slung over the shoulder like a common tool, Lain observed, No more than seventeen. A mere child. "Your farm was destroyed when Queen Wyndall took the throne, your parents slain before you were even allowed to know them. You desire vengeance for them, their countrymen, and everyone else crushed beneath the heel of my lady's boots. Am I wrong?"

The boy's face twisted into a snarl. "Don't mock me, Lain!" he shouted, swinging his worn blade for emphasis, "Your queen and her ambitions took everything from me! And you helped her do it! With you gone, the rightful ruler of our country shall be restored!" Sir Lain chuckled at that last part.

"Ah, of course," the general replied, "How could I have forgotten the missing piece? You've been trained by old 'Lord' Brian, have you?" He tapped his fingers against the stone railing as he continued his descent. "How quaint. Let's see if he trained you any better than the last two 'heroes'."

The boy began to charge up the stairs, rearing his arms back to strike with his sword, but Lain leapt toward him rather than away, sending both of them crashing to the bottom. "That would be a 'no', then," he commented as he stood up, "Attacking an opponent with a height advantage? How did you even get past my worst soldiers?" The boy stumbled to his feet, using his sword as a crutch. "Drop your blade, child. There's still a way out of this where you live."

"Never!" the boy said, returning to a fighting stance, "I'd rather die free than live another day under your tyranny!"

"That's a shame," SirLain sighed. The general drew his sword with a slow motion, forcing every inch of steel to scrape against the scabbard in the hopes of demoralizing his opponent. "You remind me of my younger days," he commented as he entered his stance, "Brash, driven, nothing to lose. A child indebted to a remnant of a bygone kingdom. Many would say, we're not so different. And yet, they'd be so, terribly, wrong."

The general stepped forward, feinting a swipe from the right. The boy moved to parry it, falling right into the trap. With his left hand, Lain grabbed his opponent by the wrist and turned, using the momentum to force the boy to the floor. "Agh!" the boy cried out as the general pressed an armored knee against his back.

"You don't even know why you're here, boy," Lain said, forcing his captive's head to the side to look at the engraving in the floor. "Do you see this crest? It belongs to Queen Wyndall. This is her castle, by right of birth. Your fool of a mentor, Brian, served the king who deposed her father, just as I serve the queen who deposed him. I should have executed him when I had the chance."

"LIES!" the boy shouted. He struggled against the general's grasp, which only prompted the latter to drag him from the floor and tie his arms with the cord from a nearby curtain. "You killed my father! I'll never forgive you!"

"It was a war," Sir Lain replied, "I neither need nor desire your forgiveness. The gods will judge me for my actions when the time comes. As for you..." The general stepped back to recover the boy's sword and pointed it at his throat. "You're a pawn in a decade long game, the last of many being sacrificed by a player that refuses to admit he lost, a sad old man's vain attempt at taking one more piece before he's forced into checkmate." The boy closed his eyes as the general raised the blade above his head, waiting for the inevitable, then winced as he heard the clatter of steel against steel. Sir Lain had bent the sword over his knee, snapping it in two. "I'm going to do what I should have done to the last two. I'm going to make you live to see why you're wrong."

[buckybarnesdiaries]

heaven

© gif credits to the author, i found it on google. if you're the author lemme know your @.

bucky barnes x fem!reader x sam wilson

⎢ masterlist.

word count: 1.781.

warnings/tags: NSFW, +18!!! threesome, fingering, unprotected sex, language, mention of bodily fluids.

author notes: none of my stories contain reader’s body descriptions to be inclusive.

Join the tag list here.

You weren't drunk enough to blame alcohol for letting Sam invade your mouth with his expert tongue. The music outside of the random room you found maintained you with your feet on reality somehow, to not think it was a dream. A good dream. Even if you were focused on the way he was making you feel and the heat he was causing between your legs to burn down your soul, Bucky's fingers rolling the dress' straps by your arms until it fell to the floor kept your attention on him too. From one second to another, you were naked among the only two men you desired in your life —your boyfriend and his new best friend.

You couldn't help but moan pleased when they pressed you against their bodies and Bucky's huge hands made their way to your hard nipples. He squeezed your breasts slowly, delighting himself with every touch and the sound of every gasp dying on Sam's tongue, still dominating yours masterfully. You ran out of breath at the feeling of their rock dicks being rubbed to your ass and pussy respectively. You were in heaven between those two men.

“Tell him what you want, doll”. Your boyfriend murmured hoarsely into your ear, touring the shape of it with his teeth, causing you goosebumps all around.

“Ca— Can you…? Fuck…” You whined through your parted lips when Bucky dug his incisors in your shoulder. “Sam… I… I wan— want yo— shit… I've fantasized of you… fuckin— fucking me with your fingers”.

“That's what you want, uh?” He inquired rhetorically, pawing your sides roughly as one of his hands toured your right thigh straight to your cunt barely covered by a thin thong. Soaked.

“Please…” You begged, placing your arms around his neck.

Sam licked his lips, not needing to look at Bucky for permission. What you didn't know is that ten minutes ago they had a conversation on the terrace to make that happen. No one could deny that you'd die for Bucky's love. He was everything you had, and you were everything he had. But, when both of them appeared in your house really fucked after a mission, you started to feel some kind of desire for Sam. Only desire. Your heart was occupied with your boyfriend.

You came back from your thoughts as soon as the second man recently involved moved the small string aside. He played and teased your folds using the fingertip of his index digit, making you toss your head back to Bucky's left shoulder. Your boyfriend drunk delighted the crying you uttered inevitably when Sam slammed his finger into your tight walls, clenching around him. While the soldier was being all sweetness and delicacy, kissing you slowly, the pilot started to fuck you hard adding a second curled finger. And God blessed the loud music outside to cover your wrecked moans and your pleads.

“Does Sam make you feel good, doll?” Bucky purred with his eyes fixed on yours, watching you gasp in sync with the palm crashing violently against your pussy.

The three of you knew you hadn't much time to be disappeared before someone suspected, and the fierce pace of thrusts to your g-spot had you shivering under Bucky's grip.

“Oh, fuck, Sam”. You sobbed, not being able to form a proper sentence.

As your boyfriend guided his lips to your neck —sucking a hickey there to mark his forever-territory—, the pilot was back to attack your mouth. Your fingers were tightly nailed to the back of his head, starting to rock your hips looking for more friction against their sensible cocks. The grunts coming from them filled the room.

“Shit… you're gonna make me cum in my pants”. Sam growled, landing his free hand in your ass, squeezing it and forcing you to move it faster against Bucky's dick, being a bundle of moans dying on your neck.

“Got'a better idea…”

As you heard your boyfriend chuckling petty onto your ear with his orbs fixed on the dark ones of his friend, you knew they were going to ruin you.

“Listen to me now, doll. 'M gonna leav—”.

“Plea— Please, Bucky, don't”. You whined, not knowing how much you could handle the way Sam was impaling you by adding a third finger, making you cover your mouth with a hand or the whole compound would hear you.

“I can wait for you”. He hummed, turning your face towards his. “But I wan'you to show him how good you make me feel… And I'll give you a reward later”.

You were conscious that it didn't matter the times you begged him to stay, they had made a decision before coming into that room and that was what was going to happen. Bucky placed one last kiss full of love and tender at the moment Sam gave a break to your abused cunt, and you watched him leave after checking there wasn't anybody around, placing well his jeans in the zone of his bulge crotch.

“We can't stop if you don' want to continue”. Sam mumbled then, holding your hand to bring you closer.

You were panting trying to recover your breathing, pouting at him inevitably. As soon as Bucky left you alone, you felt a slap of reality and insecurities straight to your face. And he noticed it, gently wrapping your lower back with his arms since your legs were shaking and too weak to stand by themselves.

“Look at me”. He asked you then, showing you a fleeting smile barely curving up his lips. “Bucky wants it and I do too. But it only matters if you want or not. This… This is like a test, alright? You try and if you like, and if you want, we'll repeat. Bucky, you and I”.

You nodded hardly swallowing, sure that you'd make it up to your boyfriend later. You weren't in love with Sam, only with Bucky and you needed to demonstrate it to him. You glanced at the pilot unzipping his pants to pull them down along his boxers, letting his painful erection spring free to his abdomen still covered by the white shirt he was wearing. Your right hand gripped his sensitive skin, licking your lips at the sight, pumping his glorious dick slowly, as Sam made you walk backward to the immaculately done bed. He sat first, not being in need of telling you what you had to do next.

He watched you pull down by your thighs your black thong till it was thrown on the floor, before heading to his lap and sitting on it. Sam's cock was thick and long, pretty similar to Bucky's, so you knew it will cost you a second to fit your clenching and abused cunt around him, but you were too anxious for being fucked by him that you didn't care. You practically bounced on Sam, ramming his hardness into you beyond your limits. He was fast enough to make you drown the loud cry out in his mouth, crashing his lips on yours.

He filled you completely, gripping his hands in your hips slightly painful to urge you to move, to dance your body. And you did it with nothing but whines and gasps.

“You're so… tight, baby girl”. Sam grunted rolling his eyes white. “Oh, fuck…”

You still couldn't believe what was happening between those four walls. You were impaling your cunt once and once, with any mercy, using your boyfriend's best friend's dick. And you liked it. You loved it. Sam was making you feel really good. Not the same way Bucky used to do, but enough to put you to beg him for letting you cum. You needed it, and you wanted him to flood your guts too.

“Ple— Please… Please”. You cried hiding your face into the crook of his neck, feeling the tears of pure desperation run down your cheeks.

“C'mon, my sweet girl… cream my dick…” He whispered with such a honeyed tone, almost hurting you by the way he had to nail tighter his fingertips in your buttocks. Painfully pleasurable.

You couldn't contain the orgasm anymore at his petition, looking for his mouth to invade yours again by using his tongue to drown the delighted scream he caused on you, while the ecstasy hit your body wildly. But Sam didn't stop from forcing you to keep jumping onto his twitching cock, pushing you down strongly and feeling him almost touching your stomach when his seed was spilled inside your clenching and glad abused pussy.

“For the fuc— fucking love of… God”. He roared in a broken tone of voice.

Your thighs were quivering at both sides of his legs, your lungs were emptied and your mind went completely blank.

Once you made sure to look like anything happened, you left the room before Sam —ashamed but satisfied—. Trying to walk normally, as your legs were still feeling weak, you looked for your boyfriend where he told you where he was going to be waiting for you. In the desolate kitchen. You glanced at Bucky sipping a glass of whisky, suddenly fading away your embarrassment and your insecurities with a smirk towards you, stretching his cold hand to hold yours and push you to his warm body.

“Did Sam fuck you good, uh?” He wanted to know humming, gently caressing your swollen and somewhat darker lips with his iron thumb. You nodded in silence, stealing the glass from his other hand to drink it in just one gulp.

“Can yo… Can you take me home?” You murmured in a plea, almost pouting at him.

“Hey, hey… Listen”. His tone changed in the blink of an eye from seduction to concern, placing his index finger under your chin. “You don' have to demonstrate me anythin'… God… I've never in my life felt so damn turned on than tonight… Watching you being fucked by Sam while you were looking at me…”

“You… You didn't leave bec—”.

Bucky interrupted you by freeing your hand from the glass, wrapping his left around your throat, and nailing the other in the center of your ass, directing his middle finger to that tight unexplored hole under your dress.

“I wan'to repeat, doll”. He purred in your ear, causing you to gasp against his by the pressure in your entrance. “I wan' Sam and I to fuck you at once… I wan' you to suck my dick —your dick— as he eats your sweet, little pussy… Fuck… Fuck, I'm hard only by imagining it, doll”.

“Buck…” You sobbed tightening your fingers in his shoulders. “Take me home… I beg you… Please”.

a / n: i'm thinking about turning this into a polyamorous relationship, and therefore into a series. what do you think?

feedback is appreciated, please, leave a comment to let me know if you liked it.

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[samanthalightning]

She's Got A Date- EoWells x Allen!reader- Part 8 (Alternate Ending)

*Credits to the owner of this GIF*

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII (Other Ending) |

A/N: Welcome back y'all!! God, I missed writing so much. I just want to thank @elfwoodfae for requesting this, and having so much patience with my writing speed lol. Aside from being an amazing person, she also writes equally amazing stories. So if you have the time, please check it out. Here's the link

Warnings: FILTHY SMUT. Angst (as per usual). Grumpy Cisco lol

***

This world can hurt you

It cuts deep and leaves a scar

Things fall apart, but nothing breaks like a heart

And nothing breaks like a heart

How did it get to this? You do not know. All of the past few weeks were a blur, and yet the horrors of it never seems to be forgotten. They lingered and taunted you, made you afraid in your own home. Of him.

You hurled out to the hallway, sprinting straight into the elevator. The adrenaline fueled you ten times more than a drug would. You injected him with something to destabilize his speed, and you don't know how much time that bought you, you just needed him to get out. From what you just saw, heard and discovered. You can't recover from that. You keep on pressing the button, even if you knew it wouldn't increase the speed to get down. Minutes that felt like eternities, you reached the garage level. The burn in your lungs and the sore of your legs was replaced by a percolating relief, as you run for your car's direction, getting near it. But you can't escape this.

Your chance flies with the wind, when a whoosh of wind brushes against you. In a blink of an eye, the evil speedster was right in front of you, and had taken hold of your cheeks tightly.

"I don't wanna hurt you, Y/N. So you have to stop being a brat!" He scolded, gripping your skin so harsh, you began to cry again.

He wrapped his arms around you, more like coddling you like a baby, then sped you away.

He was going too fast to see anything through your mortal eyes, so you closed them. Recovering from your dizzy state, you began to realize he took somewhere underground with large tubes and dim lights. You assumed you didn't stray far away from the lab. Maybe some room yet to be discovered.

Oh, and you were strapped to a chair.

“I know this is exactly how this will go. I tried giving you the easy way, but you’ve never been one to underestimate,” he discussed, tapping the device of sorts in his hands— a helmet that is straight out Professor X’s Cerebro.

You tried to move, wriggle your way out of the straps, which was impossible considering how tight they wrapped around your limbs.

“What is that?” You gulped, your panic skyrocketing as seconds passed.

“This…” He stalked towards you with a sinister smile. You know it can't be good. “Is Plan B.”

You want to trust his words earlier, but you have yet to know the extent of his capabilities. Also, you don't know what this helmet would do to you. It might kill you too.

He immediately put the helmet on your head. "Please, no— please!" You shrieked.

“Oh, Y/N, I’m doing this for us,” he chides. "I love you. And I'll see you."

“I love you.” Those words used to mean so much, now they make your skin, even your own existence prickled with disgust. You felt sick, you felt used far worse than a ragdoll or a toy, and you felt like the stupidest person in the world. To think you wanted to build a life with this person— this monster.

He kissed your forehead tenderly, then moved to your lips. You did your best to pull away, but he only cupped your chin to deepen the kiss.

When he pulled away, he had the biggest, proudest smirk ever.

“Har-”

I heard you on the phone last night

We live and die by pretty lies You know it, oh, we both know it

These silver bullet cigarettes

This burning house, there's nothing left

And just like that, you felt the jolts of electricity coursing from your head down to your toes. Screams and pleas cascaded out of your mouth. You tried to fight against and break free, it's like it increases the voltage the longer you put up a fight. It's stretching and pulling the strings of your mind, you feel like you're about to lose your own head. You felt so helpless. You looked at him, begging him to stop, though he's so convinced of his plan. He just watched you. You knew you were gonna die. You were getting weaker and drained as the time passed. You wondered why it ever led to this, you just wanted a happy family. Why must it always be taken away from you?

Your eyes rolled up, and just before it closed, tears escaped. The last thing you thought of before everything went black was your daughter. You don't know what he's going to do with her. You prayed to God that Barry finds her and saves her.

Well, nothing, nothing, nothing gon' save us now

At the West's residence, five people are doing his undoing. Or at least, attempting to.

It seems they were arguing, as Caitlin opposes some theories. She couldn't still wrap her head around the idea of their mentor being a villain. Barry abruptly sensed the impending danger, looking over his shoulder to listen carefully. Joe noticed Barry no longer listening to them and was all rigid. He was to ask, but he saw the man in yellow speed inside, circling around them. He took out his gun, alerting everybody.

“What the hell?!” Cisco exclaimed.

Caitlin was abruptly pulled out and taken away.

“Barry!” She shrieked and reached out, but Barry wasn't fast enough.

"Caitlin!”

“Shoot!” Eddie cursed, panicking.

They swiveled their heads trying to catch sight of him and attempted to nick him.

He came after the other detective.

“Joe! No!” Barry screamed.

Then it was Cisco.

“Barry, He-”

“Cisco!”

Soon, the other detective.

Once they're all gone, he comes face to face with the Reverse Flash. Barry bursted out of the house and into the city. Chasing each other's tails, they circled around the city, it's citizens witnessed the colors of streaks, the summer breeze burnt their cheeks flushed.

Well, there's broken silence

By thunder crashing in the dark

And this broken record

Spin endless circles in the bar

Barry opted to outrun him, knowing he wouldn't do anything good to his friends if he's dead. Though the Scarlet Speedster pivot, he was caught off-guard as the enemy anticipated it. He was thrown flying to the trash bin in some dark alley.

He grunted, attempting to stand up, as he appeared before him. “What did you do to them?" He demanded.

“Don't worry, Barry. They’ll be fine,” he answered in his Reverse-Flash voice.

“It's you, isn't it?” He seethed, eyes piercing. And he swore he saw him smirking. “What do you want?”

He stopped phasing and took off his mask. Barry was right and never in his life had he wanted to be more wrong. He was manipulated and betrayed by his own mentor.

“My family,” the Doctor replied. “Now, cooperate. She would hate to see you gone.”

He lunged at him, then everything around Barry went dark.

He went to where his little light was. Home. Peering over the crib, he saw she was still deep in sleep amidst the chaos that's going to unfold. She looked so small and fragile, two month old. Joe said she looked like you, even your Dad when you showed him pictures. But you knew that her eyes are like his— Blue like the ocean, but a hint of green you wondered where she got it from, though it's expression never ceased to be mysterious and curious.

“Hey there, princess,” he murmured. “I know what Daddy did wasn't good, but he has to do it to keep family together.” Henrie barely moved when he caressed her soft cheek with the pads of his thumb, instead found comfort and familiarity under his touch. It was unsurprising, he's her father after all. “Besides, it's never fun to be good, right?” He smirked when his daughter cooed, and took it as an answer. Oh, he was never filled with this kind of pride and happiness— all worth the sinister acts.

This world can hurt you

It cuts you deep and leaves a scar

Things fall apart, but nothing breaks like a heart

Mhmm, and nothing breaks like a heart

First missed game night in years for a date night. And Joe apparently invited everyone, and you're to miss it. Sucks, but you gotta admit, a night out ain't so bad. And you know that Joe and the rest of the gang will keep an eye on her your whole date, and their game night.

"So, where y'all staying tonight?" Iris asked from across the living room, cuddling with Eddie at the end of the couch.

You laughed, giving the man standing beside you a side-eye— only because he deserved it. He maintained his stoic expression as always, but you know he's swimming in joy having all the secrets.

"I don't know. This guy is keeping it as a secret,"

"Aww. That's so exciting!" Iris exclaimed.

"It is, when you're not dying of curiosity," you seethed, glancing up to him, and scrunching your nose to prove your point about the fun you're not having.

He didn't react, instead gave you a quick peck, as if that's to amend his secretive nature.

When he pulled away, he whispered to you, "We have to go now,"

You nodded with a frown. You hugged the now 14-month old, chucky and chubby Henrie in your arms. It's hard to say goodbye. The dread, anxiety and guilt that sits on your chest at the mere thought of going out and not bringing dear Henrietta is heightened right now.

A pair of large hands travel down your waist to give it a squeeze. You already know what it means. As if on cue, she reached out to her father and said her first and favorite word, much to your dismay.

“Da-da.” Harrison gladly took her.

“You go be a good girl to Poppop, okay?” You told her. “We'll miss you. We'll be back before you know it.” You kissed her forehead tenderly.

"She'll be fine, Y/N," Barry assured.

Harrison gave your daughter a kiss on the cheek, before handing her to your older brother’s arms.

“No carousing around the city, and no— listen to me, Barry— no ice cream!” You chided Barry with a stern look.

Frankly, he was annoyed, especially because he vowed to be the coolest uncle in the world. But Barry has yet to say it, but it was only two years ago, you were his baby sister that he had always looked after and teased for fun. Now you're a mom, nagging him for what and what nots— having an actual child to look after. You radiate a different energy now, formerly childish and clumsy; something more mature (even more than him) enveloped you, your smile and gestures are gentle. But you're still raining on his parade. His head snapped from her to you with disbelief etched on his face. There it is. That look. You're the party pooper again. You frowned.

“Come on, Y/N. You can't deprive people of ice cream. And it’ll be fun! Uncle Barry and Henrie time!” He insisted, bouncing Henrie and lifted her hand, gesturing as if they were partying and dancing. Your girl happily giggling in return. Seems like agreeing with Uncle Barry.

“Well, it wasn't fun last time. She got a stomach ache and we were up all night.” You continued angrily. “Iris, can you watch him?”

“Yup.” Iris nodded with a grin.

Barry blinked and gasped, offended (fauxly) by the request.

“Watch me? She gave her the Mint Chocolate Chip one to try maximum flavors!” He stated, pointing a finger at Iris. She was stunned, it quickly flickered to fuming at him.

You internally scoff, they'll never get angry at each other for more than 5 minutes. The next minute they'll wind up at the Jitters' rooftop in the late hours of the night, talking about anything regarding being the Flash for an article, they say. You had warned them about how the meetings can't be a good thing, but they assured you that no funny business is going on. Physically, but emotionally, mentally, even if they don't realize it and chalk it up as old Barry and Iris.

Yes, Barry is trying to move on with the rest of the world, coming to terms that Iris West is not the only girl in the world, that he'll find his lightning rod. You love Eddie— he's a good man— but you know that was a bunch of bullcrap, because you lived with them enough to know that they'll never find anyone better than one another. Shame that they're as slow as snails to realize it.

“Ooh, Barry Allen— snitches get stitches!” Eddie shook his head.

“Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on Uncle Fun and Auntie Flavor,” Joe chuckled.

“Thank you, Joe,”

You clasped your hand together, mustering the strength you have left, before you change your mind about leaving. "Okay, guys. We'll all see you later!"

Everyone stood up, and went for a quick hug. Not something that's odd, but it's just that you see each other everyday, and will see each other tomorrow, so it seems so weirdly affectionate. They usually just say bye.

“Have fun on your date night," Caitlin whispered kindly to you, as she held onto the hug. You thanked her, before letting go.

"Yes. I hope you enjoy your date. Bliss of union is something beyond the expression of words. I remember when Clarissa and I—"

"Dude, TMI." Cisco whispered to the professor through his gritted teeth. Unbeknownst to you, they all shot the Professor a look.

“Good luck with her tonight," Harrison told the gang.

Ronnie shrugged, barely hearing the warning. Foolish, optimistic and amateur, you thought.

"Eh, it's a good practice, 'case Cait and I decided to have one of these,"

"In three to five years." Caitlin sidled up to him, a hand placed on his chest, and the silver band on her finger glinted against the light. It took you back to that intimate ceremony almost 5 months ago.

"In three to five years.” He repeated, as if receiving an order from a commander. He then smirked, he ghosted his wife’s ear, voice dropping low, and you do not know if it's intended or not. "Besides, that leaves a whole lot of room for practice.”

You blinked, taken aback. Harrison merely cleared his throat, and Caitlin’s eyes and mouth agape, flushed and scandalized. Ronnie grinned like a sick bastard.

"You better be just talking about this baby.” Cisco murmured, taking a sip of his drink. He turned to Henrie beside him.

"Instead of listening to this man, listen to Uncle Cisco's new project, it doesn't involve smooching all day,” he stated bitterly in a baby voice. You were offended, though you will admit that more than half of the team being a couple does distract people sometimes.

The subjects of the affection rolled their eyes and reacted negatively.

"Oh come on. You know it's because it's all you talk about. The only person in the precinct who can understand what you're saying is Barry," Eddie piped in.

"I think we should head out before we witness a tantrum. Cisco often has it worse than Henrie.” The doctor whispered from behind. You hit his chest with the back of your palm.

"Shut up."

"Oh no, he's right," Joe chimed in.

Cisco heard him, shooting daggers at your old man. He began stomping to the kitchen in retreat, and as good friends do, you all laughed at him.

Despite the amount of hugs you received tonight, there's one person you wouldn't mind having a thousand hugs from. You opened your arms, beckoning to Joe. He obliged, though you were caught off guard. He held onto you for dear life, as if you're off somewhere far and long. Tighter than he did when you left for college. As you both let go, you felt the heaviness of everyone’s on you. There was something in their eyes that made you feel as though you weren't informed. You are becoming concerned and your face begins to etch it.

"What?" You asked, puzzled.

"Nothing." How they were so quick to answer it and the speed of their head swiveling is ridiculously suspicious.

You saw Joe's head craning his head up, training his eyes up even though there's nothing to look at up the ceiling. Then, you caught it. His eyes gleamed, almost.

"Joe, are you crying?" You asked, stunned.

He shook his head vigorously, but an audible sniffle was heard by everyone.

"No. I'm fine. You should go, have fun being childless tonight.”

You were to inquire more, but he began pushing you out of the house.

"O-okay. Bye! We’ll call!” You shouted as the door was slammed shut on your face.

You looked at your partner, who shrugged and was seemingly baffled as you were. You were itching to know what is up, the door is closed and you are going to be late. So you headed off.

As soon the door was shut, everyone stared at Joe. The boys were trying not to burst out in laughter, though the girls were a little sympathetic with the old man.

“Way to be subtle, Joe,” Barry quipped.

“Shut up, Barry," he retorted, as plopped down on his arm chair.

We'll leave each other cold as ice

And high and dry, the desert wind

Is blowin', is blowin'

When it comes to (the numbered) date nights, Harrison always has and always will keep the details to himself. At this point, you just try not to question anything at this point. You just get a smirk from him now. It's an improvement to your relationship, but it's utterly annoying.

You got into this fancy restaurant. As always, with multiple courses of food. You aren't complaining, as it's a nice treat every once in a while, especially having almost no to little time to make a proper dinner or lunch.

Now, he's driving to the hotel; Venazzi, you assumed.

Satisfied, full and honestly, pampered, you beamed as you gazed at him lovingly and lost. Stern and so focused on maneuvering the road, which you oddly adored. You wonder how you got so lucky with someone who was willing to give you everything.

Everyone talks about the one who made their beats fast, or skipped a beat, but it seems like the one who puts your heart at ease and awe is so rarely spoken about. Rare, but he's right here with you.

Your hand crept to his hand on the clutch, and as usual, he let go of it to open up his palm to connect with yours, fingers began to intertwine tightly.

"I love you. Thank you," you whispered to him.

"I love you too." He smiled, taking your hand to his lips and planted it on the skin on the back of your palm.

You exhaled. “I should be the one organizing all of this, because you have been doing so well with therapy. Dr. Kramer said that you’ve been doing quicker than most patients,”

“All because of you,” he murmured.

You tilted your head, raising an eyebrow, as if scolding him for not mentioning it. You know he loves you, but it's not nice to discredit those who had involvement in the progression of how things are today.

“And Cisco. And Barry. And Caitlin," you continued.

“Yes, indeed,” he chuckled with a nod.

You grinned, rolling your eyes. You stayed silent for the rest of the ride, expecting to pull up at the hotel's driveway. Imagine your surprise when you realize you're not heading there. He pulled up at where you were all just hours ago, and everyday for the last two years. Freaking STAR Labs.

The bemusement couldn't be more etched on your face. You looked at him and asked, "What are we doing here?"

"Just trust me," he assured.

You stared at him, even more bewildered. He gazed back, wordlessly stating to just do as he says. Shaking your head, you just went along with it. If you made it this far with him, you'll be fine.

You walked around the old lobby, more like he let you wander; dark, as you all agree not to turn on any lights, as this place is barely even utilized. You feel so small inside of it with the sheer darkness and nothingness of it. It's lifeless, yet each time you enter this building you are whisked away with the countless mornings and evenings briefing memories. The special spot by the bannister that is in the center of the building is where the Doctor always made his speech. First time you ever saw him. You've come so far from that girl who just is a story down watching him, admiring him.

You spun around to face your partner.

You all headed for the elevator, and to add to your growing confusion, you headed for the cortex. You entered the room, as you do every single day for work. There's nothing special, it's dimmer than usual, probably due the fact it's like after hours.

"So, this is where you plan to whisk me away for the rest of the weekend, huh?" You joked with a cheeky grin to lighten up the mood.

"Don't I whisk you everyday?" He bit back to your surprise.

So you continued your little game. Stroking your chin with a pout, seemingly thinking hard.

"Hmm… sometimes your game's been lacking," you stated, holding back a laugh knowing how well that will piss him off.

"Lacking, huh?" He scoffed. He grabbed you by the waist, silencing your squeal with a kiss. He was so into it. So hungry and feverish; joyful, even to the point that the wind was knocked out of you. You reckoned it was just the thrill of having not to hear a baby cry in the background, as he smooches you.

His hands wandered a bit far down and gave your butt a hearty squeeze. He was getting a little excited and sidetracked. You pulled away from the thought of still having no idea why you were back.

"You still haven't told me why we're here," you said, breathless. You saw the way his jaw clenched and his lips pressed together. He's got something up on his sleeve, and he will torture you with waiting.

He exhaled sharply, before stealing a kiss from you. You took a seat on your usual spot, stared at him, brows arose that screamed what could you possibly be here for. He smirked, much to your dismay. One day, you'll be married to this man, and still be clueless about him.

"This is where you came to me. After the accident, you offered to do anything just to watch your brother," he explained.

"You kindly took in that mess," you murmured gratefully. The grin never left his face. A new record, you thought.

"Best decision I ever made." He stated proudly.

"I also confronted you here. Both times,"

Still very vivid to you how that night went. Oh, you made him work for it. First was beating around the bush with your feelings, then the whole secret relationship fiasco. Seems like it all happened yesterday.

"Almost lost you both times, too,"

"You couldn't possibly." He pulled you for yet another kiss with the same intensity as before, as though the act of it is like an addictive drug he cannot resist.

You pulled away, slightly absorbed his odd cheerfulness.

"Where to next?" You joked.

"Just follow me, please," he said, grabbing your hand and dragging you out to the hallway at a speedy pace. You feel teenagers sneaking about in a place they should definitely not to make-out just not to get interrupted.

You ended up in a very familiar, nostalgia-inducing storage room near the particle accelerator. You huffed, exasperatedly with all the walking and having no literal idea what's going on.

"This is where we kiss and make-up," You mocked, copying his voice, grandously opening your arms. You thought he was gonna shoot you glare, but he cracked a chuckle. You were so perplexed, it seems like nothing can bring him down tonight.

"Yes. Where you had the most ridiculous idea to date,"

You rolled your eyes. He still hasn't lived it down. Joe was a bit grumpy for a while, but he got used to it.

"It went well, Harrison. And if we hadn't come out by then, pretty sure we'll be having a pregnancy reveal that'll make you thankful that you were in a wheelchair," you reasoned.

And the pregnancy wasn't his favorite thing as well.

You heard him scoff. "Pretty sure that's exact scenario with Joe then,"

"He was much calmer," you argued with a sigh.

"With the silent treatment?" He snarked back.

You frowned and relented. He didn't like how Joe was during the first months of the pregnancy. You were crying every night, afraid you were never going to fix your relationship with him. It was a lot of stress for the three of you.

You left the storage room, and headed for the next part of this random tour. He didn't speak on your way to the next destination in the lab, his jolly aura had vanished and he succumbed back to himself. You didn't know if he didn't like the discussion earlier or was just being mysterious as ever. And of course, you're more anxious than ever; worried, yes, but the knot you feel in your stomach suggests something far more than dread, beyond pinpointing or perhaps you're just too confused to put the pieces together.

You know where you're heading, but don't actually know what's going on down there.

Once you reached the break room, you thought to see the usual set up, absence of light and life. No, you couldn't be more wrong. The furniture was gone, the room was illuminated warmly by the sheer quantity of candlelights, along with a myriad of petals littered on the floor; it was magical.

Slacked jaw and frozen on the spot, his fingers slipped into yours, tugging gently as he guided to the center of the room, the only part that seemingly lacks the decor. Just like that, the sweet melody played. He put your arms on his shoulder, his hands on hips, swaying perfectly with the rhythm.

There it is again: that freaking indecipherable face, that you're slowly getting to know; usually too overwhelmed inside to ever conjure an expression.

"What?" You asked.

He sighed softly, clearly holding something back. "Remember after night after you told me you can't dance around your feelings anymore. All those things I said?" Your brows drew together, shaking your head. Truth is, a lot happened after that and it's better to let him tell all rather than go through them one-by-one.

"You went on a date," he answered.

Ah. That. Yep. He was a nice guy, don't remember his name, but it went well as far as you remember. "What about it?"

"What about it?" He chuckled wryly, as if that made sense. He exhaled, locking eyes with you with a gleam that you can't recognize. Your heart beating fast, a feeling stirring inside that's making you worried.

"You came back here after that, and I was here too. Exhausted, stressed— all of the things that can't possibly be good, we're feeling that night. Then, you've always been so beautiful in my eyes, but there was something that night when I saw you in that red dress." His voice cracked, and he paused to collect himself.

That's why he made you wear a red dress.

You gasped internally, your mouth was too dry, you feel like you won't be able to speak. Tears brimming your eyes, because he spoke to you in a way that was too powerful, and the events of that night are coming back to you.

"I wanted to hit myself so badly, for making up excuses, for holding back, and all I could think about is how much I screwed up. And how I was screwed," he whispered. "And amongst other things, how foolish I would be if I didn't kiss you."

And he did. He kissed you that night with all the tension, passion and desperation for one another that was forced to be dormant. You gripped his shoulder to get a grip of yourself. He just knows when to say the most perfect things. You are so confused, as many times you've stated it, no one could possibly comprehend it like you do, as it is the only thing you understand. You're emotional over his new love declaration, you're at your day job that's been redecorated, and you don't know what it's for.

"Harrison—" you choked on your words.

For the first time you realized that his breathing is a little uneven. Heartbeat is a little bit speedy. He wasn't being clingy— he's nervous.

He wiped off your tears, cupping your cheeks and holding your hand, as he stared at you so enamored.

“Y/N Allen, I love you far more than I thought I could. You restored something in me— something long gone," He breathed out. "You make me feel alive; I breathe for you, I live for you, my whole world revolves around the warmth of your smile. You are the second of every day I want to cherish for the rest of my life,"

“Harrison, what's going on?” You shakily asked.

"You gave me the greatest gift; my own family," he said. "So if you would be so kind and generous to give me one more thing, it will make me the happiest man in the universe."

Holding your hand still, he began to get down on one knee. Your mouth agape, registering what is finally happening.

“Marry me, Y/N Allen." He took out a small, velvet from his pocket, opening it slowly to reveal a shiny ring that shimmered against the moonlight.

You saw his eyes glint, not with mysteriousness, mischief or curiosity. Of tears. Of joy. You broke down into tears, your hands flew to your mouth. You bent over, taking it all in. It took a while for you to speak because you were sobbing hysterically. You reckoned he was on his knees for too long so you mustered up the only thought you have.

“That's not really asking, but yes," you choked out. “I’ll marry you.”

He laughed, escastically slipping on the ring on your finger. He leapt to his feet, not giving you a chance to admire it on your finger, he swung his arms around your waist, lifting you off the ground and crashed his lips against yours. Your heart was soaring with joy, the thunderous beats of it screamed it. It felt very wet, as you couldn't control the tears; it was messy, but hearty nonetheless. You could stay there forever, but the steadiness of your breath was slipping away.

Panting, you pulled away. His forehead rested against yours, you continuously sobbed, as you both whispered nothing but 'I love you'd to each other, which led to another kiss. He kissed you again ardently, taking you away from this world. You never felt so lost in something intangible, and you can't quite place it, but your heart yearned for it, searched for it, begged for it, and now, you have really found it— you have found the one.

The kiss was intensifying every moment. His hands ever gripped your hips, pressing you closer to his body. His lips with a mind of its own detached from your lips to hover over your ears, finally planting them on the skin of your neck, sucking on the sensitive spot on your neck and you couldn't help but elicit a moan.

The warmth in your belly spreads and grows like rapid fire, and your wandering hands are the fuel to it; from his chest down to his abs, he squeezed your rear, and your hand found his clothed hardness, palming it. The grunt you received from him satisfied you. He fiddled hastily with the zipper of your dress, undoing them. They slipped down to the ground and your bra was thrown inside, along with his blazer that you worked off of him. You shivered, feeling a breeze against your body, your nipples pebbled, and oh, he immediately ravished them so hungrily, kneading the other one, breast milk dripping off it. Your teeth dug on your lower lip at the sensation. You can already feel your wetness growing.

"Leave some for our kid," you joked breathlessly. It's like he didn't get it and proceeded to the other side. He may have said something about it being sweet before.

You busied yourself with undoing the buttons of his shirt until you were able to take it off him. You ran your arms against his taut back and to his abs you so adore. Your breath hitched, as his hand slid down to the waistband of your underwear, and to your shock, he ripped them off. Your gasp was swallowed by his lips knocking the air out of you again. He adored the fact that it's all wet, all because of him. He pushed two fingers inside, building up friction, before swirling your clit expertly in 8 figures. Your screams of pleasure were muffled. Abruptly, he pulled away, turning you around to face the entrance to the balcony, but his fingers never stopped.

"Thank you." He whispered, rasped.

"What do you mean?" Your mind was too fogged to even think.

"For being mine," he replied tenderly.

You heard his belt unbuckle, and of course, the excitement rushed to you. He pressed against his hardness against wetness, rubbing it up and down, before slipping into your warm velvety sheath, moans escaping your mouths. Slow, his pace at first; he took his time to be gentle, even kissing your shoulder. It was torturous, but so, so good.

"Babe," you begged, biting your lips.

"I know," he assured.

Then, his hips bucked and slammed into you like a crazed man. It hits your cervix, stimulating your bundles of nerves at the same speed. Your hand flew to his shoulder, and held on it for dear life— and you screamed. You screamed really loud due to all the sensation you're feeling. Your head rolled back on his shoulder, you gripped on his hair, his head buried in the crook of your neck. His grunt was loud enough for you to hear and it drove you wild; the drug of being filled and pleasured was taking over your mind rather quickly. Overwhelmed, you orgasmed with a shattering scream, arching your back.

He removed himself, turning you around to face him now. Huffing, you smiled at him, which he returned. The glee on the man was palpable, he didn't have to say anything.

He pressed you towards him, you wrapped your arms around his neck. Your lips met again, he caressed the line of your spine down to your butt. He hoisted you up to cling on his torso.

He walked to the adjacent wall leaning you against it, making you realize how truly hot your body was because of how cold it felt behind your back. You felt the tip of girth entering your folds, happy about being filled again. He didn't make the effort to take his time, thrusting in and out with an incredible force, your eyes rolled back at the sensation and mewled at the brief window between him reaching that spongy part. His biceps were clenched, a hand firm on your hips, as they supported you and guided as you bounced on him. The other cradled your neck. Your legs locked around his waist.

Remember what you said to me?

We were drunk in love in Tennessee

And I hold it, we both know it

You ran the pads of your thumb against his cheek. You were in awe of the sight of him, how the candlelight illuminated his features. He just looked so perfect. So focused on making you feel good, sweaty, his glasses had gone foggy, and reeks of sex, sure— he was utterly perfect and so right. You lay your sweaty foreheads together, panting, grunting and moaning; the tender moment of vulnerability, and the reality of it all sinking.

This isn't a dream— you can't wake up from it and feel a pang of longing.

Both of your highs were coming, your fingers dug on his taut shoulder, in tears once again, as he thrusted inhumanly fast into your cunt. Your moaning gradually gets louder, along with his guttural groan as the ecstasy burns in your lower belly and veins, your velvety walls clamped down on him, quivering as the catharsis overwhelmed you. The silks of white ribbon surrounded them.

Breathing so heavily, your limbs limp, and strength has yet to come to you. You couldn't let go of him though. You just wanna hang on to this moment. Your hand traveled down his wet chest, your eyes shifting on the glimmering band on finger. You still can't believe it.

"I'm going to marry you," you sobbed.

"You will," he rasped. "I love you,"

"I love you too. I love you so much,"

He wiped down your tears, and kissed you in a way that's comforting and warming.

You pulled away, grinning ear-to-ear. You don't even know what to say, seems like words will never sum up how it all is.

“That's why he was crying,” you blurted out.

“Hmm?”

You glanced up to him. “Joe. He was crying. He knew, didn't he?”

“I reckon Joe would appreciate it if I let him know." He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

“How did you get him to agree?” You inquired.

If people think that after having a baby, Joe would become any less protective or critical of the Doctor, they couldn't be more wrong.

He exhaled sharply, as shook his head.

“He didn't at first, but I can be persuasive when I have to,” he answered.

“Thought that was me?” You chortled.

“Well, you certainly have your influences, Mrs. Wells,”

“Soon-to-be Mrs. Wells. You have to put a second ring on it, Mr. Wells,” you teased, motioning your left hand.

“Challenge accepted." He planted a quick kiss on your lips. He makes the word 'lucky' such an understatement. You thank God for your persistence, or else you would've missed the start of your life.

"I can't wait to spend forever with you," you whispered to him, intertwining your hand with his.

"May it never be enough time to be with you,"

He kissed your forehead tenderly. And you know, deep in your heart. The chaos, they will come and they will stay, but you have found the one to weather the storm with. You are never going to let him go.

This is really it. The beginning of forever.

Nothing, nothing, nothing gon' save us now

***

That's it, guys! Thank you so much for reading! I actually had to remove a huge chunk of this story because I reached the maximum blocks 😭 breaks my heart, but the show must go on! If you can, please like and reblog, even comment if you have some insights! Love you all, and it's so nice to be back! See y'all next time xxx