#god if i actually have to think about their heights here. with their crazy ass proportions

[re-colligere]

To Roz and Hellforge: Which one of you is the strongest?

"obviously" is an overstatement here, they're basically evenly matched from a distance. Hellforge gets some points for knowing how to use his strength more effectively than an inexperienced Roz, but Roz constantly downplays himself even if his strength is Still pretty impressive. He could even break through those cuffs. I don't know why he's wearing them. Mr. Hellforge certainly didn't put those on him. what

[lemonisntreal]

My thoughts on Sing: Thriller! [finally]

I just want to vomit out some of the things on my mind because ohhh my god, do I have THOUGHTS-

Also! Link here to the short, for the people who want / need it 👍

NO WAY

THE BASTARD LIVES???

THE MIKE FANS WERE ACTUALLY RIGHT????

It wasn't just copium!

Kinda off topic, but this is getting me thinking on how different sized animal's seats are priced. Because they only grabbed one ticket I think, so I think they're literally sharing a seat [WHICH IS CUTE]. But does this mean that bigger animals need to buy more than one ticket? Or are all the seats just ridiculously big? Or am I crazy?

Also thinking of that one scene in Spongebob where Plankton gets sat on by Bubble Bass 😭

Tiny blurry Mike hehe looks like found footage

RAHHHHH

RAHHHHHHHH

Me when I see my fav for 2 seconds with zero speaking lines

Nana is eating also holy shit

EATING 👹

Also Eddie guiding her by the hand is sweet, I love their relationship so much aaywusjhisajhajk

He has such an obviously better relationship with her than he does his actual parents and I'm eating it upppppp

The "How hard can it be to fix a stupid tire anyway???" line was so aggressive, I'm taking this as character development !

She's an actually amazing actor in-universe and I love that

Meena Sweep

Also this set is clean as fuckkk- also a lot more realistic, but still very not LMAO

Also he's DOING A JIG AAA

The crunchy version is for my enjoyment specifically

HOLY SHIT I WAS REFERENCED /j

Also also.

Both GMO and Alice in Wonderland were really short plays from what we see, but I actually do think that this isn't how it actually goes in canon. When they're on the bus in Sing 2, the script looks pretty thick for one. And two- why would anyone pay for tickets for 4 minutes of show?

Like it just makes sense, you gotta understand my reasoning.

They couldn't put the whole 2 hours of play in the actual films, but I like to believe that's actually how it goes

That there's some story and depth to it as well [💀]

Reference. For later.

THE WAY HIS FACE SCRUNCHES DUDE DUDEUDUED

Meena Gunter and Ash are absolutely partying in the back bro

I wonder how often Meena finds herself in cars. Because like there's size, but also we know she just takes the bus everywhere. I don't think her family has a car, they all feel like they utilize public transit instead

Cars that are modified for bigger and smaller animals are probably more expensive and not mass-manufactured either

Not just height but weight limit is also something that needs to be kept in mind. Elephants are like a few thousand pounds.

I think it's just easier to have modified public transit rather than modified individual cars for that kind of load. I bet public transit has way more funding in the Sing universe because of this need too. Because there's also Rhinos, and Hippos, and Giraffes-

I'm getting lost in the sauce again.

HER NOSE SCRUNCH

She was AT that door. First one there, bouncing with excitement. Adorable. I wish Clay had speaking lines with her in this AGH

REFERENCE.

girl what the fuck are you doing here, your ass was NOT invited ‼️

The Infection AU would go CRAZY

Somebody needs to make that rightttt now, actually

I'm giving it some thought right now and how with a few tweaks this could be cool. Like I'd definitely make it so there were different phases, like the MLP AUs. And I'd keep the hivemind thing definitely, because I think that adds an extra terrifying aspect to it

Probably make the ooze stuff look more messy, eyes would be leaking the stuff, mouth.

Idk I'm just spitballing LMAO

The dog from under the table is actually terrifying

Rare sighting of angry Meena

ALSO WHY-

I have a complaint.

Why were they dancing.

For a full minute. With nothing.

No singing. Just instrumental. It dragged on for so insanely long. Like that's my one complaint about this short, is that the pacing is just absolute dogshit after they all get possessed. You can give me a Thriller reprise without making it look super awkward and boring. Why couldn't this have been a cool chase scene instead? Like actually keep up that tension you established?? Because like Crawly and Buster are just STANDING there now, and it's just like-

And then the actual chase is over so fast

Man.

HE'S SO STUPID LOOKING I'M GONNA CRY [positive]

the Borb....... [Buster orb]

I hate the "it was all a dream!" trope but I can't really be mad

I saw it coming from a mile away, and I'm honestly glad because it means that this isn't canon and we don't have to deal with random zombie shenanigans in the actual lore

Or maybe not because Crawly was literally possessed at the end but whatever. Not canon.

My final thoughts are that this was really solid! I feel well fed and very happy to get some new content of the sillies. I will most likely be drawing lots of Thriller stuff because WOW were some of those shots pretty. Overall, critically? C+ short [mostly due to that minute of almost nothing happening]. But my enjoyment level puts the grade at a B+ for me so [B is for Biased].

[avareiahgt]

First time participating in Gt July Prompts. It will be impossible to have one update a day since my job won't give me enough time, but I'll try to write them all even if it's not in time.

So that's the thing. Here we go with the first day, a million thanks to @gianttol for bringing them up 💙

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

G/T JULY PROMPTS 2024.

DAY 1: MIRTH

—How is it that I’d never thought of this before? —the blondest of us asked more to himself than to me.

—It’s horrible, worst idea ever— I started only to get cut off as Ryan decided bungee jumping off my shoulder, drying my throat instantly.

—Damn, damn, damn! —my hands went crazy trying to catch him, tossing away the smartphone who knows where without even realizing it. All my efforts were focused on the task of actually saving him from the fall from the skyscraper that I was to him.

The more I moved and failed on my chore, the harder and higher his form was flying, spinning and bouncing. Lucky him, that freaking handmade harness worked too much well and maintained him enough fastened to not meet the actual meaning of fly.

I didn’t realize I was lowering myself on a try to minimize the bungee movements. After countless attempts I managed to hold tight that bungee that now seemed diabolic to me. Lifting it to my face I found Ryan, dangling there, laughing the heck out of him so hard that he had no time for breathing in between.

—Dude, you should have seen your face, oh God. I should have had a camera right on my head because that look you gave was incredible!! — spinning slowly in the open air that loud laughing kept filling my parent’s kitchen.

—Don’t you ever do that again, man! What would happen if the bungee wasn’t placed correctly? — I lectured him.

—But it was, Connor! Come on, it was the funniest thing we’ve done so far this year— he claimed while holding the rope with both hands and started to move like he was swimming on air—. It was perfectly safe but you getting mad over it and moving like that just made it, I don’t know, ten times better —I knew I couldn’t erase that smile on his face.

—Well… it was a bit funny to see you bouncing and jumping everywhere. I would have enjoyed it way more if I were not having a freaking panic attack you know…

—I could repeat it right now— Ryan offered.

I stood on my full height at once while talking.

—Don’t you dare to…

BOOOOOM. My head crushed heavily onto the kitchen cupboard that was right above me. At the hit, took my hands to the top of my head as if I could cure the pain, so I released the rope and Ryan went down again, then up, and a mix of feelings scaped his mouth.

—Wow, boy, are you ok? That was amazing! I think your head broke the cabinet. What a strength, oh my…— and emerged in fits of laughter once again.

I could not forget the ache on my skull, but I giggled thinking about the circumstances. So, there we were, laughing our asses off until Jamie came into our view.

He checked us eyes wide from the entry hall. He seemed ready to go, but stopped in order to have a peak at our experiment. His mouth opened briefly and then he closed it without a sound. Something told me he had seen everything since the beginning.

The three of us stared at the others for some seconds and then…

—You both are extremely stupid— and he made his way out giving us a shoulder shrug.

Really alone this time, Ryan and I locked eyes and did nothing more than explode into an outburst of laugher once again. At least, bungee jumping was a success.

[ew-headyhearts]

Body Headcanons

No one asked but here you go. I’m putting this one under the cut because it’s really long.

Characters: Edd, Tom, Matt, Tord, Eduardo, Jon, Mark

TW: I talk about booties and thighs

Edd: 6'1. Man's is chugging cola throughout the day it is no surprise he's heavy set. Not much for personal grooming. He maintains his cleanliness but the most hair he'd let grow out is a light stubble. Really dark leg and arm hair. Has cellulite and stretch marks but doesn't seem to mind. Actually, has a hand full of tattoos! Nothing crazy, they're mostly patchwork tattoos. Although, when Edd and the other three were all in high school they all gave themselves matching stick and poke tattoos. It’s a smiley face that looks uncannily like the ASDF Movie face. Granted none of them had experience doing tattoos so they made Edd do it for all of them. They all have it on the inside of the right wrist and they're all equally pretty wonky. Although Matt ended up doing Edd's making his look the absolute worst.

Matt: 6'4 A God damn string bean. Most definitely the palest of them all, like you could see the color of his veins pale. He is the definition of a pretty boy. Long legs and surprisingly strong calves. Also has the nicest butt of them all. Don't tell him though, it'll only inflate his ego. Will make sure everyone knows you think his butt is nice and the others will get annoyed. Still has acne scars from high school because he was a chronic skin picker. He also still had fangs from the time he was turned into a vampire. Is he still one? He won't tell~ Covered in freckles from head to toe. He shaves, though it’s mostly because he did it once and now he hates the feeling of the stubble growing back. Although he's not the greatest at it so he still gets nicks and cuts. After the experience with the stick and poke tattoo, he never got another. There's a part of him that regrets it, but he'd never think to cover it up or get rid of it. When he's feeling low, he likes to admire it and think about all of his memories with his buddies.

Tom: 5'8 and fucking smug about it. He is BIPOC. He’s a bit anemic so it makes his skin appear paler than he actually is. His height spawns constant arguments with Tord over who's taller. And yes, there was one point where Tom and Tord tried to see who could make their hair taller than the other. Definitely has a beer gut. Also did I mention the happy trail~ ugh- I'm so weak. No ass to speak of tho. Back is built like a board, sadly. If you ask him to sit in your lap it will hurt, he's got a boney ass. However, he does have really nice thighs. Can we talk about his body modifications now? Okay thank God because- ugh! First of all, he had his tongue split, and he loves showing it off. Used to have his tongue pierced but he hated the feeling after a while. All of his other piercings? He has gauges, two other piercings along the shell of his ear, and snake bites. Actually, has a couple of tattoos as well as the old stick and poke one. He’s always down to go get a new one.

Tord: 5'6 and a half, 5'8 and a half with the haircut. Doesn't go out that often so he's pasty. Nowhere near Matt levels of pale, but it's noticeable. Before leaving the crew, he was actually pretty heavy set. Mans looked like the textbook definition of a weeb. However, when he returned, he was surprisingly lean. You can almost see a hint of muscles too. He’s got a gap between his two front teeth. Quite a bit harrier than Tom. Does not trim whatsoever. Never has never will. Nasty stinky man. Probably has ridiculously noticeable pit hair. Likely to get really cringy tattoos like anime girls from hentai. But it's okay pookie I forgive you. After the events of "The End" Tord's arm was ripped to shreds. So, he actually gets another tattoo done professionally on his opposite wrist. He quite literally just got a replica of their matching tattoo. Why you ask? I’m sentimental, okay?

▀▄▀▄▀▄

Eduardo: 5'10 and a half. The most likely to lie about his height and say is 6ft. He’s kind of a manlet and will make it your problem. His parents are Puerto Rican and he’s dark-skinned. Chubby, though he surprisingly doesn't have as much sugar in his diet. Unsurprisingly, Eduardo is actually rather hairy. No one knows why he's so damn hairy and can't grow a proper mustache. Has a little bit of an ass, though he does have really strong thighs. Probably the type to be able to crush a watermelon with them. Not much into body modifications, although he does have his mother's name tattooed on his shoulder blade. He’s high key a total momma’s boy. Used to have his ears pierced but they closed up long after high school.

Jon: 5'3. Doesn't actually care about his height. He surprisingly pretty built, despite his massive sweet tooth. Him and Mark actually go to the gym together. Though he's more into training his legs. Has the highest stamina of anyone. Mans could be a whole track star if he wanted to. Another member of the cute butt squad. I'd almost call it a bubble butt. Also, this guy doesn't know how to dress. Mother fucker would either wear cargo shorts and a polo top or maybe one if those obnoxious Hawaiian t-shirts. Someone please step in and help the guy, I am begging.

Mark: 6'3 and a half. Another frequent gym goer. Can bench press around 230 pounds easily. Although, he prefers to hide how ripped he is with turtlenecks. His hair is so blonde that it can be a little difficult to notice how hairy he is. For that reason, he surprisingly doesn't do much in the grooming department. Except for his eyebrows, he gets them threaded. Had a phase where he was really into vampires in high school, so he has a neck tattoo of a vampire bite. That's why he always wears the damn turtleneck. He has a love hate relationship with that damn tattoo. Absolutely mocks Jon's fashion choice as he always dresses up. Except at the gym, that's the only time he lets himself dress down when leaving the house.

▀▄▀▄▀▄

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Watching Con O'Neill's old stuff cause it's fun. Day #?- Ordinary lies-EPISODE 1

I am going, to be honest. I don't know how to tag this without 'ruining it' look up the warnings on your own? Tell me below in the comments those of you who have seen this how you would tag warnings for this. Just take this meme and go googling.

UPDATED CON RANKINGS DOWN BELOW! Also, for anyone who doesn't know, I finally have a tag for this series! It's easy to find now!

As always thanks to @ivegotnonameidea for the love

Some people I follow who I think have seen this and I'd love their opinions @cliffcostello @gydima @dianetastesmetal @mossiestpiglet(if you haven't seen this, just ignore me. Or go read the warnings and watch it?)

Thoughts below, I'd love to hear yours.

(IS IT BETTER TO KNOW OR NEVER HAVE KNOWN)

SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT BABES! ITS A WILD RIDE! For me this is almost as emotional as Joe Meek from Telstar. So....YEAH.

Con being the first name in the credits?

DAD ROCK CON!

AHHH, smiling. A sign of more to come

OHH! Cringe boss/coworker Con! I love it. I've seen a gif of this speech out of context and thought he'd be an ass.

What job is he doing?

JOE! That name has no Con O'Neill associations.

"I don't assemble teams based on the basis of who might fuck eachother" JOE I LOVE YOU

I know that head of hair! Hey Joel Fry!

As someone who worked at a warehouse, they've got the energy down. "I will just, leave them here, for you" Yeah, real.

DONT WALK BACKWARDS IN A WARHOUSE

WHAT THE FUCK!

(As someone who has dropped a boxed up sewing machine on my head from about that height, the boy's going to need help. If he suddenly becomes 'crazy' ill be a bit peeved.)

Also, most pallets for warehouses are stacked bottom heavy. We don't know the freight they ship, but still. The only reason heavy stock was on top is if the whole pallet was heavy. (I get that they had to drop empty boxes on Con for ~Safety~ but they could have edited snappier)

Headache? Do you know what helps? GOING TO THE HOSPITAL WHEN YOU HAVE AFFORDABLE HEALTHCARE!

I'm calling it. The wife is cheating on him. Joe's not allowed to be happy.

AHHH! They won't let him drive! Love it.

I LOVE HIS JACKET!

This over-the-bed shot was necessary, and I love it

Oh, look at him. Community leader.

So he's insecure, has a shaky relationship with his family, and is semi-committed to work? LOVE IT

No Joe, partners don't snoop at their partner's phones.

NO, CHEATING WOULDN'T BE GOOD HERE?!?!

Also, that fucking look Joe gave him. love it.

GOD CAN PEOPLE JUST FUCKING TALK?

If he cheats in retaliation, this will start a circle of cheating and bullshit. Speaking from life, don't put your kids through that.

Actually, this is the most realistic portrayal of warehouse managers. Especially ignoring basic safety rules for a laugh. The only thing they messed up on was doing it in front of the cameras. Managers know better.

BRO

DON'T PUT CAMERAS IN YOUR OWN HOME

I know Joel is a superhero which just makes this scene fun.

As paranoid as I am with my space, I like to think I'd notice.

EXACTLY TECH GUY. Trust is mandatory. Wait, don't threaten physical harm, that's a bit much

He's trying to be fun, but god. OH HIS YODA IS SO FUN

Going to a bar with coworkers sounds awful

I hope my life pushes me to follow the narrative as hard as it's convincing Joe that his wife is cheating on him.

Maybe don't fuck your coworkers?

BRO DOING THE WEIRD STALKER THINGS AFTER WORK?

Joe is going to a meeting, at least he's proactive.

NOT AT WORK? THE FUCK.

GAY? Gay cheating or do they just have long hair?

Yeah, he's having a good day. 10/10

Why is the PA at his desk? What the fuck? Even if he wasn't paranoid, it's still wrong if he's upper management.

(Smoke alarm scene) Oh joy, the cards come crumbling. Also, I don't know when this was published, but they definitely had small enough cameras to fit inside a working smoke alarm.

SHE DOESN'T TRUST HIM TO TALK THIS OUT? At least entertain the thought that your teenager is smoking?

Ohh he's quizzing her to see if she's cheating, bro don't look too suspicious.

BRO IF YOU'RE UNHAPPY ENOUGH TO CHEAT JUST FUCKING TALK ABOUT GETTING A DIVORCE!

I love this adventure outfit.

What did he expect? They don't supply the mountain with 4g

Aww he's in recovery, it'd be a shame if, over the course of this episode, he slipped up :|

'Good Time Joe' :( (also, this is just going to make me sad, huh)

Good for him. But not including his wife/kids is kind of saying a lot.

That looks like a nice sleeping bag!

Oh shit, that's a walk. Good thing you didn't tell anyone where you were going. :\ he's asking to get murdered

Yeah, babe. This is creepy. Please evaluate your actions.

Yeah, this scene is sweet.

BRO DON'T ACT LIKE THIS SUDDEN EVASION OF PRIVACY

Wait, did he accidentally out his kid's relationship? Is that what I'm supposed to gather from this?

WHY IS HE CASUALLY FLICKERING A LIGHTER?

Also, if this is something 'serious' please tell me this wasn't the era when weed was the worst tv would do

I feel like this talk would be easier if you didn't make eye contact

INSTALLING THE CAMERAS GAVE HIM TOO MUCH FUCKING INFO. God, that's funny as fuck.

She needs to stop fucking new employees, it's an HR issue

This whole meet-up scene is nice

IT IS BETTER TO HAVE NEVER FOUND OUT BABE. Life is a mystery and being able to find out is an issue. In fact, you can stop whenever you want. Like, now?

Teenage daughter is drinking, calling it now.

OH SHIT, THE WIFE?

Okay, maybe the two women are just really close friends.

SHE GRABBED HER FACE, THAT'S CODE FOR FUCKING

Also, even I don't know that I'd keep alcohol in the house if Joe is known to drink instead of reaching out for help. Obviously, everyone has different limits, but eh. Feels courteous at least.

Joe is not having a good time. If I need to pause for embarrassment reasons, I'll say.

OH SHIT JOE. THAT'S NOT GOOD.

"It's not porn" If you think your wife is fucking someone, and you caught it on camera, that's porn.

Look, say what you will. But it looks like she cares as his boss/equal.

He's not himself cause he's scared.

"How would you rate that assessment?" "6/10" BRO

Just tell her. About the cheating at least.

See, Joe is just coming to this realization. This is the healthiest mindset to respect people's boundaries.

No, you don't have a right to know everything. AHHH HE LOOKED AT THE CAMERA OMG THAT WAS SO GOOD.

YES! IT'S A NEW ADDICTION GOD THAT'S SO SMART! AHHHHH

Good! Look at him apologizing. An Adult.

Also, their business is heavily dependent on people's excess income. As hard as he can try, he's fucked living with the economy as his ruler. Sad honestly.

I haven't mentioned that he's spying in the bathroom now instead of the desk, but god is that unhygienic.

You know what, I have some hope for him.

IS THAT A GUY? Threesome? Foursome? Wait, what pamphlet? Are they close to scoping him out?

ITS DANGEROUS BULLSHIT TIME

It's probably just her coworkers, right? This is all an innocent mistake?

OH HE'S TAILING THEM! That is so BALLSEY!

How the fuck is he going to explain himself if they catch him?

OH SHE CATCHES PREDATORS! OH MY GOD!

ICON

FUCKING HERO

HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! OH GOD

What? What am I missing? Oh SHIT.

OH SHIT.

GOD HE'S A GOOD FUCKING DAD. LOOK HE'S SO FUCKING GOOD GOD!

AHHHHHHHH

Look as shitty as it is, he has a point.

Violence won't do shit, and neither will entrapment.

OH FUCK

OH SHIT

OH MY GOD

NOOOOOOO

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT

WHAT???!?!?1?!?!??!?!?!?!?!

GOD AT LEAST HE HAS PROOF!?!?!?!?!? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

Jesus. Just get a divorce.

OH SHE DID ACTUALLY CHEAT

HE DIDN'T EVEN GET PROOF! DID SHE ACCIDENTLY LET SOMETHING SLIP?

Okay, Jesus, get a divorce.

FUCK.

No, let her do this, hit him.

How the fuck does he not know what statutory rape is in this instance? This is a really fucking good episode but Jesus Christ, that fucking neggs me.

ME FUCKING TOO JOE. WAIT THATS BOOZE. NO

NO

FUUUUUCCKKK

At least he immediately went to go see someone in his support system (his daughter) after relapsing.

___________________________________________________________

CON: FUCKING 10/10. I don't even know where to begin. I am so fucking happy I wasn't spoiled for shit besides his opening speech and seeing gifs of his chest. He plays Joe as a raw, damaged individual who just wants to protect himself and his family. I have entire fucking essays I want to write on his performance.

What Joe needs is a support group. I know he's in other episodes, and the entire point of this show is that people live Ordinary Lives, but just knowing how bad he's struggling, it seems cruel to me. Real in a way I want media to clean up nicely with a bow. He's reaching a new low in his life, and fuck! If yall tell me other episodes have more prominent Joe scenes, I will absolutely watch it.

Yes, I've seen "Let me buy you a drink! Tier Five Friday, whoo whoo?" and a few other clips of Joe and Joel Fry's character. AND ITS SAD, regardless of how funny it is. I'm so fucking weak for this depressed man.

It just hurts cause I know he can work to be happier.

If he thinks she's willing to cheat, he doesn't trust their relationship to hold.

But with how he feels like he's failed them as a protector, losing them could fucking break them more. As I mentioned sports supplies are an excess funds type product. Imagine if all of this shit was going on, AND a recession hits, and his position at work was threatened? I was laid off from my warehouse job THREE MONTHS before peak just because profits were low. Joe having a record of assaulting staff and unsafe workmanship on the floor could be enough to lose his job if things get tight.

I want to give this man a fucking happy ending, a partner who he can trust and have these discussions with, and a better fucking support system.

I know my 'as I watch' summary seems disjointed but my original one without editing was too long for Tumblr. It included me just fucking hitting my keyboard. LOTS OF FUCCKKKKKS. Etc, you get my point. I want to rewatch this to see all the nuances with full context, and also never think about this again cause I will explode it's so fucking good.

For Joe's final thoughts, who's better to give final words than Con himself?

"I feel for him. I wouldn't do what he does – but I understand why he does it."

Characters besides Con: 9/10. A few small things bugged me. But eh. They are people as Joe sees them. I'm sure if I watched other episodes these people would be more fleshed out.

Story 9/10: I love that this was a mystery drama in the truest sense of the word. We were meant to solve things along with Joe until the rug was pulled from under us. WE WERE THE OBSERVING EYES BUT WE WEREN'T ALL-KNOWING. The audience wasn't God. We went from thinking he was weird to even considering this, but Jesus. He caught his son doing one of the fucking worst things he could have possibly done.

Again, I know fuck ups exist in every goddamn family. But the son is old enough to have been aware of what happened to his sister when it happened. The son knew exactly what happened to his sister and still did what he did. Again, it's real, but it just feels like so much shit stacked on top of Joe's shoulders at the last fucking second to make him break. I feel for the Mom and Daughter but they were kind of side stories here we barely got to see.

Everything unravels from the audience at first thinking Joe is weird, to OH MY GOD?!??!?! Is a delight. If a mystery is served to us like this, I will eat it the fuck up.

Overall: 10/10. I fucking love this hour of television. We got so many scenes of Joe just slightly breaking down as everyone around him wouldn't just be honest with him. He had to break down in the last ten minutes, and we the audience had no clue just how shitty the situation was. If you want me to watch more, don't be afraid to fully spoil the cool stuff down below. If I didn't care more about keeping a 'scale' this would be a 11/10+.

Again, everyone in S is essentially interchangeable.

I will add his bit roles if needs be. Or if I'm bored! (Update-2/23/2023 to include recent bit roles)

As always, have a good day. Or night. I'm writing this at 1 in the morning so hopefully, it's understandable. Please throw up words below, it always makes my day!

[stars-n-spice]

It's cuffing season so here is a list of why Wrecker is literally the perfect partner

for a 4'11, Korean Mexican, probably neurodivergent introverted individual

His height. He can reach all the things I cannot even if he would probably tease me about it. I won't have to climb on the counters to get stuff from the cabinets or make a fool out of myself in grocery aisles when something I need is on the top shelf. I could ask him to carry me on his shoulders to experience being tall for once (only to probably get scared because that's too high up). I just think it'll be beneficial. Not to mention on my knees I am the perfect height to [gets shot].

His size. The sheer build of this man compared to mine is fucking crazy and I think about it a little too much. But without getting NSFW,, he's like a portable heater and a weighted blanket wrapped in one big teddy bear. I'd sleep so well engulfed in his arms (though it might stress him out every morning, waking up and thinking "Oh shit, I hope I didn't crush them-") because it probably feels very warm and very safe. I stupidly made fun of my mom for being cold all the time one day and karma got my fucking ass so now I'm cold all the time, but Wrecker practically radiates heat. Also we both definitely have size kinks so it works in out favor ahahaha.

His Emotional Intelligence. Wrecker's incredibly intelligent and especially with his emotions and other people's emotions. Meanwhile my emotional intelligence is,,, uh, not that good. So not only could he probably help me work on it but because he has such a high emotional intelligence I just think he'd be able to understand me in ways others can't/don't. I say that because I'm very touch adverse and Wrecker is a very physically affectionate guy, but I think he'd catch on quickly that I'm not always comfortable with hugs and shit without me telling him (because I can't bring myself to tell people "Hey, I actually don't like that.") and would be able to adjust so that I'm comfortable. Also I just think he'd be able to tell when something is bothering me and instead of confronting me about it (which will freak me out and make things worse) he'd just try to distract me from it or get me to lighten up with some jokes or something. Also, he's a demolitions expert so I can imagine that he's incredibly cautious and patient and that's exactly what I need because fuck, it'll take some time for all the walls to come down.

Similar Interests. I'd like to think that we'd have somewhat similar interests. I could see him enjoying action and animation films/TV shows. You wanna have a Kung Fu Panda marathon? Say no more. We are quoting things and making references left and right. Wanna get into our matching Sonic pajamas and watch Sonic Prime? Definitely. Yes. Done deal. We're info dumping about fixations to each other, I'm watching him play Minecraft because if I play it, I get nauseous, he's listening as I give him a PowerPoint presentation about the MCU. We're going to interactive science museums for stimulation, I'm taking him to the Montery Bay Aquarium and the San Diego Zoo (and the Safari Park) and telling him cool animal facts the entire time while he gets to enjoy seeing all the awesome creatures. He's so down to go camping and hiking, which is great because I do a lot of that. Personality wise we are not the same but I'd like to think that we would enjoy a lot of the same things. Idk,, basically ADHD and Autism solidarity.

He's a morning person. Again, opposites attract because I am most definitely not a morning person by any means. I'm staying up all night writing and watching Markiplier play FNAF while he snores away and in the morning he's up at like fucking 6 am to run or something while I sleep until the afternoon. Bonus points if he feeds my cat in the morning, my cat and I will love him forever if he does. Idk, I just think that'll be nice.

He'll eat well with me. Every day I thank the gods that I am Korean and Mexican because I really fucking won in terms of food. On top of that, I've got access to a WIDE variety of different cuisines because thank god I'm not in the middle of butt fuck nowhere with no access to anything good. Like when my family goes camping we're taking a whole Korean BBQ restaurant with us! We aren't going to eat beans out of a can, you're fucking crazy. Anyways, he'll have all the meat in the word because holy fuck do Koreans eat a lot of meat. I also like to think that he LOVES spicy food too (even if he can't handle it all that well). And wouldn't you know, Koreans and Mexicans fucking LOVE their spice. Man is eating SO WELL and I stand by him needing someone who can give him GOOD food in generous amounts. Like after seeing him so full after eating on Pabu and having that sushi I was like, oh that man is in for a TREAT.

My family would love him. I also grew up in a big family with lots of siblings so I think that we could bond over that. My family is also pretty nice and accepting too, they'd have fun with him.

He'd think I'm cool. This is a completely selfish point but oh well. Sometimes I beat myself up over being so childish and shit but then I'll think about how Wrecker wouldn't give a shit whether or not I have dinosaur themed bed sheets. He'd think that's the coolest thing ever. He'd be in complete awe of my stuffed animal collection and would think I'm the coolest person ever. It just helps sometimes, idk,,

Anyways-

Those are like,, the main points

I probably think about him too much and sometimes I'm absolutely devastated by the fact that he's not real because he's literally perfect for me </3

Don't get me wrong, I'm probably most definitely aroace but,, idk he just seems to be an exception

[sennaverstappendiary]

australian grand prix ✩ 02.04.2023

SOOOOO HERE WE FUCKING GO‼️‼️‼️ my journey into f1 has finally started. now, is it because i'm dutch and max is slaying? well, that has something to do with it, but! i actually have to instead thank the other driver in my username for getting me into f1! 🥰🥰🥰

���️ march 23th, 2023. i was in bed, trying to sleep, and i simply couldn't. i don't know why - might have to do with recovery symptoms, but i COULD NOT sleep. and my now ex was sleeping next to me, so couldn't watch video's. what did i do instead?

wikipedia deep dive. 😁😁😁

i'm not sure how it happened, but eventually i found myself on the... "crashes in formula one" page. and being the morbidly curious little freak that i am, i scrolled through everything. one of them caught my eyes though, more than any other.

💕💕ayrton senna💕💕 - the last driver to pass away during a formula one race. i clicked on his page, and, woah. it was like something clicked inside of me as i scrolled through it. especially his rivalry with 💕💕alain prost💕💕 seemed so interesting to me... like what happened there...

needless to say: i was hooked. more than hooked, to be honest. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

i ended up scrolling, reading more and more, and i only slept when it was 5 am. the days after that were a blur of FORMULA ONE FORMULA ONE FORMULA ONE. it was genuinely the only thing i could think of/talk about. genuinely felt like i was on cr4ck... 💥💥💥

funny thing: my brother, who had introduced me to f1, wasn't even home at the time i got hyperfixated. sometimes i wonder how that would've gone. 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

another funny thing: i was very sad to find out that the prosenna community wasn't thriving on tumblr 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

another VERY funny thing: i literally laughed the first time i saw lestappen. like in a mean way. i have no clue what happened but about 2 days later i was reblogging it and it was becoming my fav modern ship alarmingly quickly 🤯🤯🤯🤯

so yeah. went kinda (really) fucking crazy the week before this grand prix. of course i decided to wake up at 7 am to watch it 😁😁 god bless. i didn't gaf about fp at the time (smartest thing ive ever done, like, i should stop caring about fp now)

qualifying was just... confusing for me seeing as i didn't understand too much. i do vividly remember how AWKWARD the picture with the top 3 was 😭😭😭 i was very sleepy and i think i accidentally woke up my (now) exin the other room PLEASE 🤣🤣🤣

the race was... i'm both shocked and glad that this was my first ever race. waking up at 7 for it was fun as fuck i can't even lie i LOVE me an early race 💕💕 i was so hyped for it!! i didn't understand much, and i didn't have any friends to chat with yet, but it was fun. if i had been into f1 longer i would've probably been more scared of the mercs leading lap after lap, but i was blissfully unaware AND very very faithful in max... just kept repeating to myself "i'm not gonna worry about it lol" which DID work in the end. i rewatched this race for this post and man. i remember not really giving a fuck about charles dnf because i wasn't THAT much into any modern drivers yet except max LOL. 🥲🥲🥲 and i remember alex's crash being way later than it actually was in the race? maybe because of the crazy fucking red flags PLEASE 😰😰😰 george's car lighting on fire... nyck flopping... my first impression of carlos being his fucking complaint about the SUN i'm screaming... what a crazy fucking race.

after the race i was gleefully telling my dad everything (his ass was NOT waking up at 7 for this which i respect greatly) and shakingly eating breakfast (i was so excited fdjhgdhfgdfh)... and then i realised... 4 weeks without f1 😵‍💫😵‍💫 whilst in the height of my hyperfix!! how did i survive!!!

anyway i'm so glad this was my first race, even though it was a really weird one dfhghdg 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 AUSTRALIA 2023 U WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS TO ME‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

✩ song of the race: Industry Baby - Lil Nas X

I just fuck heavy with this song LMFAO. also it's kinda maxcore if u think about it... i certainly think about it... 😭💕😭💕😭💕

[rekuuza]

Dark Humor

I never liked this kind of humor. It's disrespectful to the dead, insensitive to people who suffered and utterly offensive to most religious groups. It is kind of crazy that my view of dark humor just drastically changed when I started high school. That's when my frequent exposure to social media also started. I often see memes. Not just memes with a picture and a joke written with large fonts, but the one that includes a bit of reality. Dark history of wars, fascism, imperialism, racism, genocide and tragedies that have shaken particular countries in the past. At first, these kinds of jokes were infuriating for me but I realised, I'm on the internet. Almost anything can be possible here for anyone. I got used to seeing these kinds of jokes but also everytime I laugh I curse myself, "What the hell is wrong with me?!", "Why am I like this?!", "Will I still laugh if those things happened to me?". I tried practising self-control, holding back my laughter whenever I see a video of a person falling from a height edited with banger music in the background. It's hard. Like really hard. I feel like I'm a really bad person because of laughing uncontrollably from a person's misfortune though, I really am, in that sense. Years passed, and most kinds of dark humor don't bother me anymore. Like, I would laugh my ass off hysterically whenever I hear remixed prayers with a really cool beat and a dancing Jesus, I don't care. Most of these religious people were a bunch of hypocrites anyway. From my observation, the most used kinds of dark humor were death, historical wars, blasphemy and racism, which is what I hate. I'm well aware of black people's history and how much suffering they endured so I know how it must feel to be mocked and referred to by that word any non-black people were not supposed to say. I wouldn't also want someone racially discriminating against us like if I do practise this kind of humor. So yeah, even dark humor has limits for me. Aside from the previous four that were mentioned, homophobia is also the theme of many dark jokes circulating on the internet, which I also loathe. Like, bro you think you're a sigma male giga chad for shitting on how people want to live their lives? No. Well, most of these chad wannabes belong to the religious bunch so it's not really a surprise. And there goes blasphemy, for me this will always be the most funny to me. One might say, "Respect others' beliefs so they respect yours too". Hell no. They couldn't even respect anyone that has a different belief in them. They would try to shove their belief to anyone's face and insist that this is the real god, you should give up your life and worship him when there are actually many gods different people of different cultures worship and they couldn't even prove the existence of theirs. That's why I find it really funny when someone jokes about their religion. They deserve it. So yeah, if I would rank these five most used dark humor I always see on the internet, blasphemy will be the first. It's so funny and I've always hated self-righteous hypocrites. Death will be the second, we're all gonna die anyway so let's just laugh about it. Wars? I don't know. They are sometimes funny but it's just wrong, totally wrong so I hate myself about it. Racism? I'd avoid joking about it as much as I possibly can, because whenever I try to do so to join my friends' fun, guilt instantly strikes me. Homophobia? Nope. Let people live their lives. As I said, dark humor also has its limits, at least for me.

[misanthropiczombie]

35 !!!

so im pretty sure im already spoild for how this arc uhhhh ends out. but we'll see

i love the sleeve flick as a show of displeasure.

ah yeah so that is in fact spoiled but wOW STILL EMOTIONAL

also so intensely fuck that guy

all of the 'its bad luck's were actually foreshadowing, alas

but! they have the bracelets, so in theory they'll get a second chance!

also THIS is what i mean by tragic romance needing a resolution before it can be properly tragic. It's sad because they were close, they'd overcome their obstacles, hand in hand but they were betrayed in an egregious way at the height of happiness.

also wkx is going to absolutely DEMOLISH these people he's gonan be SO MAD

okay but listen right LISTEN TO ME

She gets the warriors death and that is SO IMPORTANT TO ME. They could have made her weak or an actual bad fighter, but instead she's taking on someone who outclasses her by far because he was the one who sneak-killed cao weining (which is gutless and frankly he deserved better) and just Anyways. There's poetry in this and if she's going to die (which i paused to write this so like maybe not... but) this is the way I'd have hoped for her.

WEN KEXING KILL THAT MO FO

He heals and he keels

OH SHE LEGITIMATELY FORGOT HIM GOOD FOR HER GOOD FOR HER GOOD FOR HER

well less good for her

Does he have the key? is that actually the key? somehow I doubt it.

He inhereted that Ambition lol

Oh okay More Fighting

Well I guess thats one way to cleanse the mountain

ALSO sorry now he's retreating???? fuck this dude with a rusty spork

SHES REAL GOOD AT THE ACTING THAT mAKES ME CRY

NOT ME CRYING YOU CRYING

I hope Wen Kexing fuckign destroys them.

that's his DAUGHTER he tried to give her a better life, but in the end his past still caught up with him

vocalized music over the top= Emotional Beat but also they're right for it

but also he put the crown/diadem back on her AND HE GET CRAZY EYES BACK

when did he get a cut on his face.

because you are too ambitious for your own good

and also you deserved it

also YES YES YES BAD ASS, INTENSE WEN KEXING IS BACK. Im sorry it was brough on by Gu Xiang's death but like man do I love this shit.

God those swishy robes are the shit. lookit them long legs framed by the red twirl. very cool.

also stop throwing the fan please it is also your defensive tool and we have an entire other episode to go here

where was zzs he also ran in with him. why was he fighting this guy alone alsoalso took the HIT just to get close enough to kill him

I appreciate the commitment to the revenge but also she said to take care of your self

getting stabbed in the chest is not really my idea of Self Care

OKAY BUT WOW WHAT BADASSERY. i rewound that like ten seconds and he BREAKS THE SWORD OFF INSIDE HIMSELF THEN USES THAT TO STAB A MOFO

and also whooooooooooOoOoOooOOOOOOOoOo boy the LOOK when he do.

if we're going to get a second tragic death it really has to be next episode

and we've sort of wrapped up a bunch of ends here already

what a gorgeous shot tho

lmao "i do not give a fuck about the armory, im sunbathing fuck off" *is bleeding to death* wkx is a whole mood

i mean it a little insulting for you to stab him while hes already dying.

also okay so like. Look

I love Xie Wang, so, so , SO MUCh but ZZS should talk less and stab more. he has a husband in dire need of medical intervention, you know

'your life for his, fuck the power' very zzs pretty sure xie wang is moderately jealous

waht if he didnt accidentally that balm. save him instead of yourself do it

also KISS HIM, but you know. book for kissin, tc show for sick aerial shots

mo stabbin mo rehabbin

mmmmm i didnt actually catch it, but based on their responses I suspect this dude just called Xie Wang overly familarly or something. Of course that kind of stuff doesnt come across in translations

he turned away her ghost ):

there is some symbolism im missing with the tea, I think

hes wearing the hair stiiiiick

oh he for reals is going for it this time. aigh aight

Word of Honor Liveblogging pt 3

OKAY PART THREE

Episodes 1-16 ⪻⨀⪼ Episodes 17-26

I realized I need to stub out everything if I actually want to make these directional and a new reblog for each episode. ITS FINE.

Anyways, onto Episode 27 and through the last episodes of the series. I'm so goddamned obsessed already.

dramatic xiao playing again. He doesnt eat his emotions, he plays the xiao.

Ye bai ye? oh its both of them lmao

and there's the drop but he really dont look that surprised

BECAUSE HES SMART AND IF WKX HAD JSUT TOLD HIM IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE

The fight WKX has been ITCHING for

YE BAIYE so stronk

Man i know im like a fucked up little gremlin, but Wen Kexing looks real nice with some bruises lmao

wkx's devastated look is making a lot of appearances and A) its so good like acting wise B) it's SO GOOD emotional wise

~sword glare~

Anyways I just want to say one of my least favorite things in cdramas thusfar is the plot armor/plot nerf. wkx and zzs both down from one singular blow? for a guy they've fought a few times? ((the wens eradicating all of lotus pier with ZERO casualties on their side?? im still salty)) anyways they definitely could have lasted longer.

ZZS going for the 'i'm not mad, i'm disappointed" route. Fatherhood has agreed with him

EHEHEEEEEEEEEEEEHEHHDF me, hyperventallating into a bag: HE HELD HiS FACEa;lsdkfj no notes your honor

helpless child act lmao i love them i love them brat4brat i love this zhou zishu

she is trying so hard to keep it together just TELL HIM

good for him for sticking up for her.

Nut Bar

br u h is he in the bath. surely they have restored the manor enough for some more individualized rooms. there used to be 81 of his generation

DAMN ZZS "im not good at lying like you"

listen STAB HIM Zhao Jing fucking sucks and you deserve so much better.

KILL HIM KILL HIM KILL HIM KILL HIM i believe in you so hard kill HIM

ope we have vocalized lyrics, something Important is going to happen. MAYBE HER SECRET WILL BE OUT THERE CHRIST

lmao wkx getting chengling (presumably) drunk what a fucking gremlin. ZZS just letting him

gremlin wkx and zzs is doing that dramatic sigh like he hates it except he absolutely does not

[scuttling]

Long Time Coming

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Word Count: 6,664 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Dad Bod Hotch, Oblivious Hotch, Flirting, Reader has a few one night stands, Semi-public sex, Unprotected sex, Blow jobs/Face fucking, Hairpulling, Fingering, Praise and degradation, Dirty talk, Accidental reveal of feelings, TW blood/cut Summary: You have been in lust (and love) with Aaron for a while, but his new look sends you off the deep end, and it's enough to make you do some pretty crazy things. *Inspired by @ssamorganhotchner and these three pics. Link to A03 or read below! You are fresh off yet another unsuccessful first date when Aaron wears the new suit. You, Emily, JJ, and Penelope are standing by the coffee maker, complaining about the pitfalls of online dating and how people are never they way they seem when you actually meet in person; you have the carafe in your hand, filling your mug, and when he walks in, face in a case file, his pants so tight you can make out his hips and thighs as clearly as if he were naked… You kind of lose your shit. And your grip.

The carafe shatters when it hits the tile floor, spraying shards of glass and hot coffee everywhere; Emily gasps, Penelope jumps back to avoid the splatter, JJ runs for a broom, and you just stand there, staring at Aaron—at his tight slacks, at his belt, at his shirt, tucked neatly inside, then at his dangling tie, and finally, his worried face.

“Are you alright?” he asks, because you have literally not moved a muscle since he arrived; your boots are covered in coffee—you are thankful you dressed casually today and aren’t wearing heels, or you’d be in a lot of pain—and your heart is racing, but otherwise you feel frozen, unable to move or look away.

You’ve wanted Aaron for a long time, and everyone knows it but him. It’s part of the reason you’re smothering yourself with online hookups and blind dates and one night stands: because he is off limits, and you’re desperately horny for him, and you need to have him fucked out of your mind one way or another.

The new suit further complicates things.

“Fine,” you say after a few more seconds, and JJ comes back with the broom and dustpan, so you bend down to help her clean up your mess. It wasn’t your brightest idea, because you are now at eye level with the tight crotch of his pants, and all you can think of is working the zipper open, pulling him carefully past the fly, sucking him off until those big hands slip into your hair and tug roughly when he comes.

God. You’re going to have to go on another bad date. Or ten.

“New suit?” Penelope asks conversationally, as if you aren’t having a sexual crisis about it three feet away. “Looks good, boss.” Aaron runs his hand down his body self-consciously, but all you see are thick fingers and stomach and hnnngg…

JJ pinches the back of your arm hard, makes a face that screams get it together!!, and you take a deep breath.

“I took some of my old ones in for alterations and the salesman convinced me they were severely outdated. Do you like this style better?”

For some reason, it feels like he’s looking right at you, and you nod, dreamy-eyed, sweep your tongue over your lips.

“Better,” you rasp, and Emily and Penelope agree, probably to take the emphasis off of your slack mouth and dopey one-word answers. You try to help JJ clean up, picking up the larger pieces of glass and dropping them into the dustpan despite her protests—because you are very unfocused, shouldn’t be messing with sharp objects—and when you cut your finger on a piece, she just sighs. Such a mom.

You wince, and Aaron frowns, comes toward you, putting you not only at dick height, but a manageable dick distance, if you were so inclined; really, it’s more if he were so inclined, because you are actually fully prepared to swallow his load right here in front of your friends—all he’d have to do would be snap his fingers and point to his crotch, and the FBI would be suing you for mental distress and using the money to pay for therapy for Emily, Penelope, and JJ.

“Let’s get this cleaned up,” he says, snapping you out of your very elaborate fantasy (typically your fantasies don’t involve court costs, but this is Aaron, so anything is possible.) He wraps his hand around your injured finger and pulls you up to standing with the other, and you just follow along as he leads you over to the sink, turns on the tap to let the water run over your cut. The way you’re looking up at him like he’s the best thing you’ve ever seen has to be painfully obvious, but he just reaches over for the first aid kit, takes out a bandage, and wraps it carefully around the tip of your finger. You sigh.

It may have started out as lust, but you’re pretty sure you’re also in love.

You have got to find a way to get him to notice you as more than just an agent, a teammate, a friend, and so: Operation ‘Get Hotch Out Of His Tight Pants’ begins. You fill the girls in on your master plan, and they fill in Derek and Spencer just so there are more people to laugh at you when you crash and burn, probably. But you’ve got a plan, will be pulling out all the stops, so you might not fail horribly after all. Hopefully.

God, you absolutely cannot fail. You can’t go out with another software engineer with the personality of a peanut or another investment banker who thinks buying you an appetizer means you owe him a blow job in the front seat of his Tesla. You will go fucking insane.

Today’s plan is T for tits, because yours are pretty awesome and almost no one who is attracted to women can resist them. You wear your usual white button down top, but you leave the top two buttons undone, and you add a red, lacy bra for a little additional temptation.

“Here are those consults you asked for,” you say after knocking lightly on the doorframe; Aaron waves you inside. You set them down on his desk, then glance over the open folder in front of him, make a curious noise. “What are you working on up here?”

You walk around his desk, so you’re standing next to him, and lean forward to look over the case file with one hand on the back of his chair and the other pressed against the desk. If he would look over, he would see right down your top, your breasts high and smushed together thanks to the lacy push up… but he looks straight down at the file, taps his pen against it.

“Murders in Detroit. I don’t think we’ll go—they look like mob hits to me, so I’m going to refer the case to Organized Crime.” You hum, turn the file toward you and lean in a little closer, letting your hair spill over your shoulder, the neck of your blouse fall open. Boobs and perfume are usually a one-two punch that is capable of bringing any man to his knees, and while he does turn to look at you, it feels entirely too respectful for your liking. You sigh softly, give up for today, and turn the file back.

“Well you know best, boss. Any time I don’t have to go to Detroit is alright by me.” You flash him a smile, and he reciprocates, and you head back downstairs for a cup of coffee and maybe a stale shame pastry.

The team looks up at you when you approach, and you shake your head.

“No luck,” you mutter, and Derek laughs, crosses his arms over his chest.

“Maybe you’re not very good at flirting. What did you do?” You roll your eyes—your flirting is not the problem, it’s Aaron’s morals and manners or whatever—and walk over to Spencer’s desk, demonstrate with him what you did to Aaron; you put your hand on the back of his chair, toss your hair over your shoulder, lean in, and Spencer swallows hard, licks his lips, and looks abruptly down at his hands. That reaction, you would have gladly taken.

Derek clears his throat, and so does Emily. Hmm.

“I’m good at flirting,” you say, straightening up; Spencer is blushing, and it’s super cute, so you pat him lightly on the head. “Maybe he’s an ass man. I’ll wear a skirt tomorrow and we’ll see if that gets the job done.”

“Good idea,” Derek says, and when you walk past him, he gives you a once over that makes you feel pretty damn good. “In the meantime, why don’t you come and demonstrate on me?”

There’s no denying he is one of the finest men you’ve ever seen in your life, and earlier on in your career you might have taken him up on it—it would have to be better than Marty McTesla, that’s a given—but you know he’s mostly teasing, even if there is a thin layer of actual desire beneath it all. You just fluff your hair and take your seat and mentally flip through your closet to try to come up with an outfit Aaron can’t refuse. You decide on a pencil skirt, because that’s got to be every boss's fantasy, right? You have one you never wear to the office because it’s a little sexy, tight on your hips and ass, with a zipper up the back that you can open a little and use to your advantage. When you walk into the bullpen that morning, JJ whistles, and you grin, do a little twirl.

“Thank you, thank you. This has to work, right?” You turn to face Emily, then turn away from Emily, butt right in her face. “Emily? This will work, right?”

“That’s... definitely going to work,” she murmurs, tapping the cap of her pen against her teeth, and you have to admit you have a good feeling about this one. For as great as breasts are, your ass is your best asset, and if the open top and red bra didn’t work, this has to be your ticket to some sweet, dirty loving, it just has to.

You all head up for the morning meeting, filing into the briefing room, and you give Aaron a soft greeting and a smile just like every day, and then offer to help him pass out whatever stack of papers he’s holding in his hands—fire drills and emergency protocol, or something boring like that. He accepts the help, and you take the fliers, but instead of walking around and handing them to each member of the team like he would, you bend over the table, reach across, and drop the pages in front of everyone.

JJ is the furthest away, and you practically have to climb onto the table to reach her; you grin and wink when she takes the papers out of your hand, and she shakes her head like you’re too much, but when you stand back up to hand Aaron the extras, he doesn’t seem the slightest bit interested.

He thanks you for your help, and you take your seat and listen to him go on about emergency exits and fire extinguishers and seriously start to contemplate moving to Europe to start a new life, or something else equally dramatic.

Because you don’t give up easily, you orchestrate one more attempt to get him to show some interest in you. You know he usually goes downstairs to the cafeteria for lunch, and that the elevator is a jam-packed nightmare because the main stairwell is currently under construction (which is probably why you needed to go over safety protocol, now that you think about it; shutting down the stairwell seems very unsafe.) You usually pack your lunch, but you can go buy an overpriced salad for the sake of your sex drive, so you wait for the elevator when he does, making small talk about your mornings until it dings and arrives on your floor.

He tries to let you in first, gentleman that he is, but that won’t work with your plan, so you insist, earning eye rolls from the other passengers on the elevator. You give Amy from Forensic Accounting a dirty look and then step in after him, lean back against him because there’s really no fucking room to even take a breath.

He’s taller than you, but with heels on your ass still fits pretty nicely against his thighs; a little too nicely, you think, as you get wet just from standing near him in the elevator, the heat of his body through your skirt. You really are a mess.

There are two more floors to go before the cafeteria, and no one gets off, but more people manage to cram into the elevator, which means you press more tightly against him to make room. Someone bumps into you roughly, which makes you unsteady on your feet; Aaron puts his hands low on your hips to keep you from wobbling, and your eyes literally roll back in your head, but he just leans in to mutter, “sorry” into your ear. You say nothing, because you’d probably moan if you opened your mouth, but you shake your head so he knows it’s not a problem.

When everyone gets off downstairs, you hurry to the restroom and don’t look back, turn on the faucet and splash some cold water against your overheated neck and chest. So much for that plan. All you managed to do was work yourself up into a fury.

While you’re in line to pay for your overpriced salad, you open up your dating app and secure yourself drinks with a hot lawyer for tonight. Seduction is clearly not working with Aaron, he’s clearly not interested, and you have to find a way to move on before you have a spontaneous workplace orgasm and get fired from the job you love—all of his tight new suits have been dark so far, but if he shows up in gray, you’re not going to have the will to survive anymore. You have to plan for the worst.

The lawyer is nice enough, but he’s too short, too thin; it’s hard to imagine Aaron’s body weight on top of you when he’s fucking you, but you’re nothing if not resourceful, so you move your hands to his head of thick, dark hair and focus on that—that, and his hot breath against your throat when he comes a little too soon and mutters “sorry” into your ear.

“It’s okay,” you pant, reaching between you to rub your clit. You close your eyes, tip your head back, clench around him; you imagine it’s Aaron inside you instead, and bury your face in his shoulder when you come.

He’s willing to stay, but you explain why it’s better if he leaves, and then you fall back into bed, fumble for your vibrator, and get off again so you’re not too distracted by reality to really enjoy your fantasy.

It’s a little twisted, but it is what it is. You’re standing in the breakroom a few days later, swiping through the dating app and bullshitting with Derek and Penelope, when this guy pops up on your screen. He’s not your usual type, younger and blonder than you prefer these days, a pilot, but something about his profile makes you pause; when it hits you, you blow out a breath and look up at your friends.

“So you guys know Operation ‘Get Hotch Out Of His Tight Pants’ is officially dead in the water,” you begin, and they nod, “and now I’m focusing my energy on trying to get over him. I went on a date with a guy that kind of looked like him, and that didn’t really help, but what if…” You turn your screen to face them; Derek nods like it might be crazy enough to work, but Penelope grimaces.

“No, I don’t think that’s going to work. It might actually be crossing a line,” she says with a frown, and you look to Derek for his input.

“It’s more of a coincidence than anything, right? It’s not like he’s unattractive and this is the only reason you’re going out with him. He’s a good looking guy,” he admits, and you’re really grateful he’s willing to help you rationalize this probably terrible idea into a potentially decent idea.

You send the pilot a message, and he wants to meet up; he suggests a bar near the both of you, and you know it’s risky, but you tell him you happen to make a great gin and tonic and that you have everything you need at home, if he’d like to meet you there instead.

He does, and you don’t even make him that drink, just take off his clothes, get him into your bed.

“That’s right, babe—wanna hear you lose it for me. Say my name, gorgeous,” he groans, fingers digging into your hips as he fucks you from behind, and you close your eyes, fist your hands in the sheets, and give him what he wants.

“Oh, fuck, Aaron. Fuck me harder.” His thrusts are already rough and punishing, but this is the best you’ve felt in a really long time, so you’re eager, desperate for more. “Yeah, Aaron, just like that.”

“Tell me my big cock feels so good in your pussy.” He slaps your ass, and you moan involuntarily, press back against him, panting.

“Your big cock feels so good, Aaron, so good in my pussy. Fuck me, Aaron, destroy me.” He grunts, tenses, and moves his hands to your shoulders, slamming your body tight against his as he comes. “Yes, don’t stop, Aaron, don’t stop,” you plead, hips working together, and when he smacks your ass again you come gasping his name, collapsing against the bed with a breathless sigh.

You feel a lot dirtier than you expected you would, even though it was kind of awesome, and ultimately Penelope was right; it was fun while it lasted, but it didn’t do a damn thing to help you forget about the only Aaron you actually want in your bed. Monday morning, Aaron comes into the office wearing a tight navy suit with a striped white shirt and a navy tie, and you follow him with your eyes from the glass double doors all the way up to his office, mouth open a little. Your eyes get heavy and your breathing picks up, which is the dumbest biological reaction to a man’s ass you’ve ever had—but god, it’s a perfect ass—and JJ has to actually lightly slap your cheek to get you to snap the fuck out of it.

“Are you horny right now?” she asks, a little grossed out. “I can’t handle you.”

“I know you guys all call him a tightass, but I mean, if the pants fit… and god, do they fit.” You pick up a case file and fan yourself with it. “He’s so fucking hot. What am I supposed to do? Getting railed by fake Aaron didn’t do shit; I think I might actually have to transfer.”

“You’re not transferring. You just have to get over it.”

“Are you kidding? She’s like a cat in heat when he’s around,” Derek says with a smirk. “I think I’m getting horny just because she’s horny.”

“Okay, so why can’t I have that effect on him?” you ask with your arms open. “Do you think it’s the pheromones? Maybe they’re incompatible. Smell me—does it turn you on?” you ask Spencer, presenting your neck, and he looks like a deer in the headlights, then leans in to sniff you.

“Uh… you smell nice?” he says with a shrug and a half smile. “I think it’s just your perfume, though.”

“Put your face near her boobs,” Derek says, and Spencer starts to lean in again. “I think the pheromones are stronger there.” He pauses about halfway to your chest.

“Actually, they’re stronger near the genitals, but I don’t think that’s appropriate.”

“What’s going on down there?” You freeze and then turn to look up at Aaron’s office, where he leans against the doorframe; Spencer stands up comically fast, and you take a step back, clearing your throat. Aaron’s scowling—it’s really sexy and it’s making your heart beat in your stupid, traitor pussy—and then he sighs visibly. “We have a case, come on.”

The case is only a half hour away, so you drive, which is horrible, because you are with Aaron and Derek, and Derek lets you sit in the front just to watch you squirm.

It gets bad before you even pull out of the parking garage, because Aaron puts his hand on the back of your headrest to look behind him and reverse the SUV, and you look over at his body—his stomach, his lap, his thighs—and then quickly face forward when he puts the car into drive. You’re flushed, breathing heavily, and when he looks you over quizzically, asks if you’re alright, you just clear your throat and nod.

“Allergies,” Derek supplies from the back, and you mentally thank him for the save, but you kind of also want to smack him for putting you in this position in the first place.

You’re practically turned on the entire ride, even as you go over the details of the case, because his legs are spread and your eyes keep moving to his crotch; at one point, you think you notice his already unfairly tight pants getting a little tighter, but it’s just a trick of light.

By the time you arrive at the precinct, you are more than ready for fresh air, to put some distance between yourself and Aaron. You’re out of the car almost as soon as he turns off the engine, which probably looks weird as hell, but for your sanity you can’t give it too much thought.

The head detective and a junior detective give you a run down on the case while the other half of your team meets with officers at the crime scene. The head detective, a tall, handsome man in his forties, is looking at you like you’re a juicy steak and he hasn’t eaten in months; Derek notices, turns to you with a raised eyebrow and mouths ‘pheromones,’ Aaron is clearly unhappy about the detective’s lack of professionalism, and you couldn’t really care less about the attention. You just want to do your job and go home and touch yourself to thoughts of your boss… as one does.

The local police already have a board made up, so the three of you travel to speak with some witnesses, head back to the precinct, work the tip lines. Aaron seems to be looking at you more than usual, and when you get up to stretch your legs, he’s right behind you, following you out into the hall.

“Are you sure you're alright today?” he asks with a serious expression, hands on his hips. Your mouth waters. “You’ve been acting a little strange.”

“Stranger than normal?” You try to smile, to lighten the mood, but as oblivious as he’s been about everything else, he’s always been able to tell when you try to hide your emotions with humor.

“The last couple weeks? Yes.” He moves a little closer, and you try your best not to let it affect you—or at least not to let it show when it does. “You know by now that you can come to me anytime, for anything.” He doesn’t present it as a question, but it’s clear on his face that he’s looking for an answer.

“I know. I’m going through something… stupid,” you say with a shrug. “Something I should be able to handle, but it’s harder than I imagined.” He frowns, flicks his eyes over your face.

“Let me help you.”

“You can’t; trust me, you can’t,” you say, pleading with your voice, begging him to drop it. “I’ll get through it.” You shut your eyes briefly, exhale, and he reaches down to take one of your hands in his.

“Are you in trouble?” This is the most intimately he’s ever touched you, and it’s not just your body that sings; you know you’re in love with him, have been for a while, but focusing on the horny feelings is easier. It makes it feel like you have less to lose.

“No, it’s nothing like that. I just need some time. Thank you.” You squeeze his hand, and then Derek pokes his head into the hall behind him.

“We got a tip about the unsub barricading a house downtown; the detective is mobilizing SWAT,” he says; when he glances down at your hands, you pull yours softly out of Aaron’s grasp.

“What do you want us to do, boss?” you ask, effectively ending your conversation, and he tells you to get suited up with comms and Kevlar so the three of you can head to the new scene. Aaron is, unsurprisingly, a complete badass, storming the house along with SWAT, you at his side; it’s his way of reminding you that he trusts you, that it can and should go both ways—he is so perfectly predictable, reassuring with gestures over words even in a situation like this one. It does nothing to help you stop wanting him.

He’s a little rough with the unsub (and that doesn’t help either,) looks ruffled and kind of pissed when you climb in the SUV to head back to the precinct. Spencer, JJ, and Emily meet you there, and you take the opportunity to vent about how indescribably good Aaron has looked all day—Spencer bows out of the conversation early, but JJ and Emily are kind enough to listen to your insane, horny ramblings.

“He’s just so hot—he always has been, but the new suits? They’re so tight, and his shirts show off his tummy, and his pants show off his thighs… You guys will never understand the things I want to do to him.”

“Okay, he’s handsome enough, but you’re nasty about it—I can’t handle you,” JJ says, not for the first time. You groan in response.

“How can you say that? Have you fucking seen him? I’m not supposed to think nasty thoughts when he walks around looking like that?”

You feel yourself getting a little out of hand, and Emily and JJ look like they’re trying to shut you up, but you can’t stop yourself. It’s like the floodgates have opened.

“He’s never going to know what I want to do to him… what I want him to do to me. I tried so hard, and he didn’t even look at me. All I wanted to do was get on my knees for him and grab his ass so he could fuck my throat as hard as fucking possible—is that so much to ask for?” You pause, but neither of them say anything, just look scandalized. “I guess I’m going to have to name my vibrator Hotch now, since that’s clearly the closest I’ll ever get to him giving me an orgasm.”

“Do you really mean that?”

You jump a fucking foot, spin around, almost knocking Emily and JJ over in the process; Aaron is in front of you, his brow furrowed, arms crossed over his vest (he hasn’t taken that thing off yet? You threw yours on the table like the minute you got back), and your mouth opens and your eyes close at the same time.

Oh fucking fuck.

“We’re gonna… go,” Emily says awkwardly, and you open your eyes abruptly when Aaron speaks again.

“No, we’re going to go; come with me,” he tells you, and he turns and heads down the hall; you look back at Emily and JJ, swallow hard, and follow him, your heart beating fast.

He steps into a small room with a copy machine, table, shelves of paper and envelopes and other supplies, and closes the door behind you, engages the lock. You are torn between being very worried he’s going to fire you and super turned on, because this is definitely a fantasy you’ve had before.

“Aaron,” you begin, running a hand through your hair. “I’m sorry. I think it was the adrenaline; it makes me run my mouth and I can’t stop it, you know that.” He’s facing away from you, his hands on his hips again, and you can see the way his body moves when he sighs.

“Did you mean it, though?” When he turns to look at you, he doesn’t look angry, he looks… nervous. “Do you want me?” His reaction is unexpected—not great, but not necessarily bad—and you bite your lip, nod.

“Yeah. So fucking bad. And I’m sorry—” That’s as far into your apology as you get before his mouth is on yours, his hands on your face, lips pressing against you for a rough, eager kiss. Your hands move to his waist, pulling him closer by the vest, and he lifts you up onto the table, tugs down the v-neck of your t-shirt, mouths at your throat.

“You think I didn’t look at you?” he says when he pulls away for a breath, tipping your chin down so you’ll look into his eyes. “You think I didn’t see that lacy red bra, your perfect ass bent over in the tight skirt? You think I didn’t feel it pressed against me in the elevator, that I didn’t want to push that skirt up and sink inside you and take you there in front of everyone?”

You moan, chest heaving, twist your fingers in his hair and pull him in for another kiss, dripping and trembling at his admission.

“I would have let you,” you murmur against his lips, and there’s no doubt in your mind that you would have, if that’s what he’d wanted. “I would let you do anything: not just let you, but I’d want it, beg for it. I meant what I said—I’d get on my knees for you, anytime, anywhere, do whatever you want me to do. I want to be yours.”

He catches your mouth in another rough kiss, then puts his hands on your waist, guides you off the table, and flips open his belt, the fly of his pants.

“Oh god. What are you doing?” you ask, and he slides down his zipper, pulls you with him until his back hits the door.

“I’m giving you what you asked for,” he rasps, staring into your eyes, his gaze smoldering. It’s so fucking hot your pussy clenches.

You lick your lips, drop to your knees on the tile floor so hard it hurts, tug his pants open and pull out his thick, hard, veiny cock.

Your dreams and fantasies did not do it justice.

“Fuck. Thank you,” you mumble, looking up at him, and he wraps his hands in your hair, pulls tightly. You moan just from that and the heft of him in your hand. “Thank you.”

“Shh.” He scrapes his fingers over your scalp, hums as you start stroking him, licking the head. “Don’t thank me—I should be thanking you, beautiful, perfect girl. In what world do I get this?” There are lots of things you want to say to that, but you’ve waited long enough, will have to say them later.

You lick your lips, collect lots of saliva, and take him into your mouth, get your hands on his ass and dig your nails in. Aaron groans, tightens his fingers in your hair, and when you look up at him it feels like a fever dream, like it’s not real but a delicious figment of your imagination.

For a minute or two, you stroke him with a tight, wet mouth, and it’s got you aching between your legs, but he’s supposed to be fucking your throat, technically, if he’s giving you what you asked for. You pull off, tell him that, and he tugs your head back roughly, guides you back onto his cock and starts thrusting into your mouth, earning vibrating moans around it.

“God, you’re so perfect. How long have you been thinking about this? How long have you touched yourself to the thought of me fucking your pretty face?” He picks up the pace, pushes deeper when he sees you can handle it, and you squeeze his ass, feel your eyelids flutter as he uses your mouth, pulls your hair. “Are you a whore for me?” he grinds out, and the moan that rips from your throat is inhuman, embarrassing, and absolutely accurate. “Yes you are, baby, yes you are. My pretty whore, on your knees, mouth stretched wide and filled with cock.”

You’ve never been so turned on from a blow job, but this is Aaron, hot and dirty and forceful, everything you imagined and more. You squeeze him tighter, encourage rougher treatment, and he presses his hands against the back for your head, slams his dick in so deep it aches; you don’t gag, but it’s a near thing, and when he pulls you off you gasp for breath and whimper at the loss at the same time.

“Enough of that, baby. You were perfect, so good for me, almost choking on my cock, but I bet your pussy is wet and aching. Do you want me inside it?”

“Holy—yes, fuck, please. Please,” you breathe, and he helps you to your feet and then pushes you against the door, gets your pants down. His rough treatment has you whining, gripping the hair on the back of his head, and you kick off your boots and socks so you can step out of your pants completely. “Keep all this on,” you tell him, pants and shirt and tie and Kevlar vest and all, and he nods, kisses you deeply, presses two fingers inside you.

“Fuck,” he groans when you receive him easily, soft and wet and open, and he uses his free hand to sweep down your top, slipping the buttons loose so he can get a better view of your tits and black lace bra that’s holding them. “So beautiful, and finally mine,” he mutters against your throat, and you whine, let your head fall back against the door, and give in to the pleasure of his thick fingers moving inside you.

“Finally mine,” you murmur, tugging his hair, slamming down against his hand, and when you come it’s like a miracle; you cry out, clamp down, and wrap your free hand around his bicep and squeeze until you’re lightheaded, dazed, desperate for another.

You kiss, deep and passionate and filthy, and Aaron slides his fingers into your mouth, pumps them a few times, then kisses you again.

“Good girl. Are you ready for my cock now?” You pant, gasp, and nod your head, and he pushes your shirt off your shoulders, lifts your legs so you’ll wrap them around his waist, and pushes inside you. You both moan, kiss, moan again, and then you wrap your arms around his broad back, hook your fingers in his vest, and hold on while he pounds your body roughly against the door.

“Oh, Aaron, fuck. Yeah. Want you to slam your body against mine; want to feel it, want to feel all of you.” He looks into your eyes, breathing hard, fucks up into you, hands on your ass, his hips and torso pinning you in place.

“Sweet, pretty, slutty girl,” he pants, spreading you open and shoving himself inside your pussy. “You tried tempting me, and oh, did it work. I might not have shown it…” He ducks in to kiss the base of your throat and you cling tighter, rock against his hips. “But it worked. You dressed like a whore just for me, just so I’d notice you; do you I know went home and stroked my cock and came with your name on my lips?”

“Holy shit. That’s so hot.” You move a hand to his hair again, can’t not thread your fingers there now that it’s allowed. “Could have fucked me like this then. Could have come in my pussy, not your hand.”

“We’ll make up for lost time,” he promises, and he thrusts up with his whole body, so you can feel it pressed against yours—shoulders, chest, stomach, all the very best parts of him. “I’m not too much for you? Can you take it?”

“Perfect for me,” you gasp, holding tightly to his vest at his shoulder and his shirt at his hip, bouncing into his thrusts. “So perfect, want you. I can take it. I can take it, Aaron.” Your mouths meet for a messy, hot kiss, lots of tongue, and you groan. “Give it to me, give it all to me.”

He bends his knees a little more, fucks you so rough and hard your mouth falls open and all you can do is whimper, clutch him, gracelessly kiss back when he presses his lips to yours.

He comes first, holds tightly to your hip and pumps inside you, fills you and then some, so it drips out while he’s still inside. It feels sinful, even after everything, and with a few rough drags of his palm over your lace covered nipple, you tighten and grip him and gasp out his name.

You both slow, and then he turns you, leans back against the door for a little relief after holding you up for so long. He nuzzles into your hair, and you bury your face in his neck, and you kiss soft and sweet until you’re feeling stable enough to hop out of his arms and put your clothes back on. He rights his as well, and when you’re both put together he wraps you up in a hug, kisses you, holds you with soft hands on your cheeks.

“I really have waited so long for this.” He brushes his lips over yours, and you sigh. “You never indicated… I was trying to be professional. Then out of nowhere you were leaning over my desk and bending over the table, and I was a little blown away.” You nod, can see that, pull him down for a kiss.

“It’s the goddamn suits,” you say with a half smile, and he gives you a curious look. “Your new, better fitting suits? They fit you so fucking well it’s almost illegal; I’m thinking of pursuing charges against your tailor for reckless endangerment on behalf of my libido, and the coffee carafe, and my poor, worn out vibrator.” He chuckles, hugs you closer, squeezes you so tightly against his body you almost pass out from all the good things you feel.

“Maybe we can strike a deal,” he murmurs, pushing your hair back behind your ear, and you bite your lip, nod.

“Yeah, I’m sure you’ll think of something you can do to make it worth my while.” After a little more hugging and kissing, the two of you figure it’s time to emerge from the supply closet; you don’t see your team anywhere, which surprises you, but when you get to your phone and pull up your texts, it all makes sense.

Derek: Congrats on the sex. The four of us headed home because no one wants to ride with the two of you and your pheromones.

Emily: Yay, you did it!! Drinks on me next time we go out!

JJ: You guys are loud; don’t make a habit of that.

Penelope: I hear congrats are in order! And by hear, I don’t mean hear. There’s NOT an audio clip or anything, so don’t worry about that!!

Spencer: Emily took an audio clip. Is it normal for girls to enjoy being called a whore? You don’t have to answer that.

You take a very deep breath, give him the gist of the messages—you’re on your own, they heard at least part of it, there is some potentially damning evidence that needs to be destroyed—and you leave the precinct to head home in a better mood than you’ve been in in a very long time.

Aaron takes you out for a late dinner, and he spends the night at your place, falls asleep warm and solid and very naked in the middle of your bed.

Taglist ❤️: @thaddeusly @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul @ssamorganhotchner @heliotropehotch @angelhotchner @qtip-blog @gspenc @wishuhadstayed @averyhotchner

[kingdaddydaichi]

can i request consensual hate sex between bakugou and f!reader

Oooooh yassssss! This idea got better and better the more I thought about it, Nonny. Love it! I hope you enjoy this naughty little slice of grudge fuck pie. 💖

Riding The Fine Line 💥 Katsuki Bakugou x f!reader 💥 NSFW

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT or I'll have my Big Scary BoomBoom Man blow your little ass up!

Word Count: 2k

"Oi! Who picked this shitty restaurant anyway?", Bakugou sneered as he walked towards the table.

You rolled your eyes and mumbled, "Oh look, Gorilla Man is here".

"Watch it, shitty girl. M'not in the mood for your shit tonight".

You'd made plans earlier in the week to meet Kiri and Mina for dinner. You knew Bakugou had been invited too, but after having suffered through it so many times over the past year or so of having some friends in common, you somehow managed to tolerate his presence. It helped that the drink you'd been sipping on made him somewhat less intolerable than usual.

It was like nails down a chalkboard every time Bakugou reared his big dumb head. His only redeeming quality was that he was quite easy on the eyes. Shame that such a hot guy is also such a huge asshole.

He's always given everyone a hard time, but unlike most people, you just wave a dismissive hand at him. And it makes him crazy. He doesn’t understand why he doesn’t get under your skin like he so easily does others. Oh, he annoys the piss out of you to be sure, but he doesn't hurt your feelings per se.

"Y'know, for such a massive ego yours sure is delicate, you meat head".

"Oh yeah? Well, for such a massive ass yours s-"

"God, Bakugou, do you ever just shut up?", you snipped.

Kiri and Mina both jumped in, laughing nervously and smoothing things over to lower the tension. He growled at you. You flipped him a subtle bird before looking away and trying to ignore him.

💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

Kiri's birthday was approaching and several of his friends decided to throw him a surprise birthday party. You, Denki, Mina, and ugh, as luck would have it, Bakugou, were are all put in charge of decorating his house while some other friends took him out for dinner. Midway through, Mina whined while sorting through various sacks, "Oh no! We forgot the disposable rainbow shot glasses!" Mina had a way of putting a cute touch on everything she had her hands in. Denki offered to go with Mina to procure the missing miniature party cups, leaving you and Bakugou alone to hang streamers in Kiri's living room. Probably not the wisest of decisions, but consider the source. 👀

It didn't take long after they were gone for Bakugou to start in on you with his bullshit. Only this time no one was around to referee. You groaned. This was going to be a free for all. You'd already both cut eyes at each other a couple of times.

"You're not doing it right, dumbass!"

"That's a matter of opinion and you can shove yours up your ass, dumbass".

He flipped you off saying, "You can shove this up your ass!", then turned back to his task.

You were so done. Without thinking, you reared back and hurled the roll of streamers as hard as you could, nailing him right in the back of the head. Damn, it felt good.

He whipped around, a vein popping out of his forehead, clenching his teeth. You were quite proud of your aim until he made little explosions in his free hand and said, "You're really pushing your luck with me, woman! If we weren't in Kiri's house right now I'd blast you right through that fucking wall!"

"Pfft, whatever! You wouldn't do shit. You're all bark and no bite, you fucking douche canoe!"

"You ever stop to think that maybe if you weren't such a bitch guys might actually want to talk to you?"

That did it. He'd finally found one of your hot buttons and you couldn't take his shit anymore. You marched right up to him and got right up in his face, height difference be damned.

"You know what, fuck you, Bakugou! I'm not normally like this! You're the only person who…drives me to this madness!", you spat with tears in your eyes.

A second later, his hands were on either side of your face, crashing his lips down onto yours. You were so shocked you froze before pulling away from him, staring at him in astonishment. He just stood there, huffing, glaring back at you, waiting.

You stepped forward and pushed him, his back hitting the wall, hard. But before he could protest, your lips were on his again. He grabbed you by your arms and spun you around, pinning you against the wall. You slipped your tongue past your open mouth, his meeting yours halfway as he pushed his knee between your legs. He pressed his thigh against your sex, shoving his growing cock against your thigh in the process.

Taking the bottom of his shirt into two fistfuls, you eagerly pushed it up to his chest, exposing his washboard abs and god-like pecs. He quickly pulled it over his head and threw it to the floor while your shaky hands got busy with his belt and zipper, urgently, like you couldn't get to him soon enough. But his will took over when he grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head so he could peel your shirt off. He dipped down to take a mouthful of your tit, cupping what he couldn't fit in his rough hand, swirling his tongue around your nipple, sucking, then releasing you from the inside of his mouth to flick the tip of his tongue over your pink nub. You grabbed two handfuls of his ash blond locks and arched your back off the wall as he gave your other breast the same treatment.

You impatiently tugged on his hair, hungry for the taste of his sweet lips again. Your tongues once again fought for dominance and you gasped when he picked you up in one swift movement. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he carried you to Kiri's bedroom, swinging the door shut behind him before slamming your back against it.

"Put me down", you said forcefully.

He stopped sucking on your neck long enough to rasp, "And why the fuck should I?"

"Because I want to get into your fucking pants, asshole".

For once you two agreed on something and with your feet back on the floor, you got back to work on his pants before reaching in and wrapping your hand around his hot dick. Shit, you could barely get your fingers all the way around it, it was so thick. You stroked him a couple of times before pulling him out, exposing his manhood in all of its mouth-watering glory.

He ran his hand down his sculpted stomach, spreading his fingers to either side of his girth. "Like what you see?" You realized you were staring at his dick and the pre that dripped from it.

"Wouldn't you like to know?", you sassed.

He growled and spun you around, pushing your front against the wall and swiftly closing in behind you. Wisps of your (color) hair fluttered around his hot breath as he breathed down your neck. "You keep on tryin' to hide it, but you want me just as much as I want you, princess, and I'm gonna make an honest girl outta ya".

His battle-hardened hands found their way down your back, around your waist and all the way to your belly before he slid them down, his fingers reaching below your waistband. You willed him to push his hands further down, pressing your backside against his erection. He used one deft hand to unbutton your pants and work your zipper down, granting himself better access. When he mercifully slipped his middle finger between your folds, you couldn't choke back the moan that emerged from the back of your throat.

"Damn", he growled behind your ear, "for someone who can't stand me, your pussy sure is wet for me".

"Shut up", you gritted through your teeth.

The feeling of the rough pad of his finger teasing your swollen clit nearly sent you over the edge. But it was short-lived and you whined when he pulled his hand away to shove your pants down around your ankles, accompanied by your damp panties. Your hands slid down the wall as he yanked your ass back towards him. You hung your head and watched the head of his cock as Bakugou fucked your thighs, back and forth over your slit, coating his fat cock with your slick, readying himself.

When he began pushing into you, your legs shook from the sheer pressure as he slowly filled you up. When he bottomed out, he held himself still, at least considerate enough to give you time to adjust to his size. He waited until you started grinding against him before grabbing your hips, and slowly withdrawing.

"Now let's see if I can fuck all that hate for me out of you". Before you could retort, he slammed his cock back into you, your pitiful cry mixed with his loud groan echoing off the walls of Kiri's bedroom. He set his pace, steady and hard, the cold buckle of his open belt pressing into your skin with every crash of his hips.

"Yeah, who knows? Maybe if you'd get your dick wet every once in a while you wouldn't act like one", you quipped, voice faltering as he pounded into you.

He slowed his pace to bend over you, pushing your hair out of the way before biting down on the nape of your neck.

"Oww!! What the fuck?!"

He stood up straight again, laughing and said, "All bark and no bite, hah? You just hadn't pushed me far enough yet!" The sweet and salty mixture of his sweat and your need could be heard with every loud slap of his skin against yours.

"Fuck! Bakugou-", you whined in spite of yourself.

He grabbed a fistful of your hair and gave it a firm tug. "When're ya gonna stop callin' me by m'last name and call me Katsuki instead?"

"When you stop acting like a raging asshole towards me", you managed as he fucked the breath out of you.

"Brave words for someone in such a compromising position. Now - say - my - fucking - name!". Each word came with its very own plunge of his cock into your mess of a cunt.

Your legs started to give out. "Katsuki!" You hadn't meant to obey him, but he'd kept his word and made you honest.

"That's better". You could hear the smirk in his voice after hearing his first name fall from your quivering lips.

You turned to face him when he pulled out, kissing him hard, his fingers going into your hair. You inched backwards onto the bed, Katsuki crawling in towards you with a primal look in his crimson eyes before nestling his thighs between yours and sheathing himself deep inside you again. Your head rolled back as you arched your back off the bed. Gods, the feeling of him filling you up was quickly becoming your new favorite sensation.

He nuzzled his face against your neck as he rutted into you, pulling your thigh up to his hip bone, raking his teeth against your skin. His breathing had become more labored and he started thrusting faster, your pleasure mounting with the increased friction of his pubic bone against your clit until rays of bliss shot out from every pore of your skin at the speed of light.

"K-ka-tsuki, I'm c-cumming hahh oh goddd!" The pulsating grip that you had on him finally sent him to his end as well, growling your name and cursing between clenched teeth, burying himself deep inside you as he unloaded rope after thick rope of his white hot cum into your snug, soft warmth.

"Seems Shitty Hair’s gonna get more than one surprise tonight", Katsuki said, catching his breath.

You laughed so hard that Katsuki hissed at the feeling of your walls squeezing his sensitive cock so soon after his orgasm.

"You still hate me?", he asked, brushing his lips against yours, supporting his weight with his elbows.

"Hmm...that depends", you said thoughtfully, tracing the cut of his back muscles with your fingertips.

"On what?"

"On whether or not you'd still fuck me if I don't hate you".

He smirked. "I'd still hit it even if you love me", he whispered, showing his softer side as he kissed you, smiling.

[mara-xx217]

Hello! I was wondering if I could have headcanons on what the Killers (anyone of your choice but I would love it if you included Bubba!) would do if they tripped during a chase in a trial, caused themselves and the reader to fall, and they fell face first onto the reader’s crotch. Double points if Reader was wearing a skirt or something and it fell up so the only barrier between them is some underwear 😏

Tehehe... The reactions will be vast and numerous! So either horror, neutral, or horny XD

Evan Macmillan/the Trapper

A chase is a chase, even if the tail he's after looks pretty nice. You turned a little too much when judging the distance between you and him and ended up tripping and falling on your ass.

Which also tripped him up.

His metal face smashed nose first into your crotch. How unfortunate that you were wearing a skirt... And more unfortunate that you're pelvis nearly cracked under the Trapper's full weight.

You were completely vulnerable and crying, rolling on the ground in pain as the Trapper awkwardly stood up to his full height.

Usually he doesn't feel bad about such thing but... ow... He turned around and left, assuming one of the survivors would assist you in some way. He'll probably still kill you in the end. Maybe. Ugh, if he can get the sight of your underwear out of his head...

Philip Ojomo/the Wraith

He's pretty cold, well, all of the time. Physically and emotionally. But that got his attention. The chase was fine, not annoying by any stretch of the imagination. Typical, even. But when you trip and fell on your ass, he tripped and fell-

Oh shit you're thighs are soft FUCK he can't think you're warm and you smell-

Caught off guard, you snap your thighs shut. Around his head. Bring him closer in the process.

You're scream ricochets across the realm. The Wraith lets out his own cry of shock in response, finally managing to tug lose from your iron grip.

He avoids you and all the other survivors the rest of the trial, opting to merely creep in the shadows and watch the aftermath of that embarrassing development.

You were horrified! ...but the Wraith could only think about how soft your legs were... He's going to kidnap you. Just a head's up.

Max Thompson Jr./the Hillbilly

He's already so clumsy... so when your body twists as you fall, he's startled and trips, himself. And oh GOD WHY-!

Before you even have time to internalize where he's landed on you, he's scrambling to get away from you and borderline hyperventilating.

It could be your imagination, but you swear you could hear a string of "'M SORRY!!", but- no, that's crazy, right?

He hides in his home, in his parents room, trying not to cry from shock and embarrassment.

Trial's over, everyone. Time to go home.

Anna/the Huntress

She was always a bit torn when chasing you. On one hand, she's supposed to sacrifice you in order to escape punishment. On the other... she wanted you all to herself. You are so tiny and cute...

When you tripped and fell, Anna actually panicked. What if you hurt yourself?! What if-! She slipped in the mud and tripped, herself.

That mask of hers hurt like hell! She shot up the moment her forehead made contact with your pubic bone and you wheezed in pain.

Oh no! Did she hurt you, little lamb?! Are you alright? Here, let her help you...

Bubba Sawyer/Leatherface

He's afraid of punishment through and through. It doesn't matter if he doesn't like the screaming and the crying, the violence, the anything. He simply must. It's not personal he swears.

Tripping is a death sentence if your attacker is wielding a chainsaw. All he needs to do is end this quickly and-?!

The way you two ate shit simultaneously was seriously something that should have been recorded, though really you should be grateful that no one else saw that ridiculous display. You're lucky that in his panic, the killer loses grip on the chainsaw and instead focuses on catching his fall. Unfortunately for you, however, (and him, really) he lands face first into your crotch. And with how your skirt has flipped up, well...

He was panicking more than you were. You could only pick out "bad", "sorry", and "marriage" in between his blubbering sobs.

Wow... The fear you feel towards him actually began to wane as you forgot your own embarrassment. You awkwardly get up and shuffle away. You never thought that you'd feel bad for a killer, but apparently you were wrong.

@prettycutebunny, @tachankas-whore, @kennbb, @cherrysodalite, @dead-bxxxtch-walking, @space-arsonist, @pink-soft-shadow

[spideychelleforever]

MJ hated dressing up, even for a girl who was used to putting on a skintight spider suit every day.

And she hated how nervous she was, because she’d never really dressed up before like this anyway. She was always casual and soft, and would definitely fit in when she got to college and started employing the “just rolled out of bed and threw on some sweats dress code”. She never had much interest in it, and still didn’t even though she went through the effort of finding a semi nicer prom dress and heels and all.

The fact she was dressing up to go to prom with her boyfriend - the small, adorably precious sweetheart Peter Benjamin Parker - didn’t have anything to do with her anxiety.

:readmore:

Months into their relationship, MJ still couldn’t fathom how someone so perfect and good could be real, how someone so perfect and good could not only notice her, but actually be head over heels for her. Awkward, shy, nerdy and dark her. And not just because of her admittedly nicer than average looks, being given a slender, curvy, fit physique by the spider bite all those years ago and having a… well, her mom and dad said she had a pretty face, but she didn’t believe it.

No, Peter wasn’t interested in her because of just her looks. He saw her. He wanted her, the person, and he cared about her, the person. And she drove him crazy with how much he liked her, he had told her more than once.

And even just thinking about it now choked her up a bit. Because she didn’t think she deserved such a perfect boy to call her boyfriend. Yet, here she was, about to go to their prom with him.

She didn’t even know what her dress was, like the material, the cut, the… whatever went into a dress. She just went for a shade of pink that went with her skin tone, had some heels that made her tower even higher than usual being a tall ass woman, and had some white gloves that ran up her arms a bit that reminded her of Cinderella for some reason. And her hair was combed back because one time he said he really liked her hair when she had it back.

Not that it mattered, since Peter told her he liked her hair every day no matter how she did it (oh God), and then he told her that he never wanted her to do her hair or body any type of way for him just because of something he said, since she was her own person with her own body.

It took everything in her power to not scream “but I’m yours and I want to always be yours godDAMNIT”

As she walked up the steps to the Parkers’ apartment building, she was aided by her mom and dad, careful to make sure their daughter didn’t timber down from the extra height on her. And soon they were at the Parkers’ room, and May was squealing in delight at how beautiful MJ looked. May was the kind of person whose praise and kindness made MJ want to hug her and never let go, she just made her feel so welcome and loved. Peter’s Uncle Ben similarly made her feel at ease, happily welcoming her and putting an adorable arm around his wife.

And then Peter came down the stairs.

Peter was the cutest boy MJ had ever seen in her life, but this… this was something else.

Peter was still babyfaced, but wearing a sharp tux with a black tie, and his hair gelled, his face shiny and he was even wearing some sharp glasses… it did things to MJ.

He looked beautiful. And it should be illegal for anyone to look this beautiful, least of all someone named Peter Benjamin Parker.

MJ desperately tried to calm herself despite her smile being so huge that it was starting to melt her face. She was desperately trying to breathe, trying to fight down her already crumbling voice and the huge lump in her throat that was starting to generate tears in her eye. She could NOT break down crying in front of their parents.

Though she nearly broke when she thought to herself, “if this is just prom, how am I gonna behave on our wedding day?” And then she went into another mini panic due to already knowing she wanted to marry him but that’s another story for another time, Michelle-

She slowly but surely walked over to Peter as he reached the bottom of the stairs. She was a good head taller than him and more, and he looked up at her in pure awe, and oh great, now he looked like he was gonna cry. Peter crying made MJ cry so this just wasn’t fair!!

“I-,” Peter mumbled, “I hit the jackpo-“ and suddenly Peter grabbed for his inhaler and helped himself. MJ thought about asking for it too considering the fact that Peter Parker saw her dressed up for two seconds and had to use his inhaler. He liked her that much and found her that attractive and that was more than she ever thought possible.

Once Peter put away his inhaler he reached out for her hands, and she gave them to him. She was looking down at him, he was looking up at her. Nothing else mattered as they smiled at each other, unable to do anything else but grin.

“Ooohhhhkay kids,” MJ’s dad leaned in from their right, “we do need to take some pics!”

20 minutes passed of the four parents directing Peter and MJ. “Relax your face”, “look this way”, “turn a little bit”. And MJ couldn’t get over the feeling of Peter’s small hands around her, on her waist. She’d really like them in other places too, she thought.

After enough oohing and awing and pictures and teasing remarks, they were off to the prom. It was held in a relatively nice hotel. MJ decided to drive, and they ended up jamming out to some of their favorite songs along the way. Already, this was a good night; MJ still couldn’t believe she was singing her heart out openly in front of somebody else, and he was actively encouraging her to do so and embracing her for it.

At prom they grabbed a table with Ned, Betty, Flash, and his date. And Peter and MJ did a bunch of the usual stuff; they took picture in a photo booth, sneaking kisses to each other with each shot; they tried some of the crappy food catered (MJ’s metabolism meant she HAD to eat no matter what, so Peter used his meal tickets to give her seconds); they played some sort of gambling game MJ really didn’t know how to play, but apparently Peter did.

And they danced.

MJ was reluctant to only because she knew Peter could get easily winded, but surprisingly, he stayed with it even when it was a bouncy song like Usher’s “Yeah”.

It was still a little weird because both of them were so awkward that they didn’t know how to dance sometimes, mostly just jumping or bouncing on their feet, waving their arms around a bit; as they were a couple, was there a specific way to dance? Neither of them knew, but they were still together and happy to spend time together. So who cared.

Then came the first slow song of the night.

Some deep, lovely violins started playing as MJ looked at Peter sitting next to her, who nodded back, getting to his feet, and offering his hand to her. She could only smile back (had she EVER smiled this much before in a single night? Even when she’d been dating Peter for months?!), and took his hand as she got to her feet. She wrapped her arm around his despite their height difference and let him lead her to the dance floor, where other couples were gathering.

They got to a spot on the dance floor, where there was silence for a moment. Then the singers crooned “babybabybabybabybabybabybabybaby” and were followed by one of MJ’s absolute favorite uses of piano in music.

They broke their smiles at each other to quickly glance at the couples around them and how they were holding each other, to try to figure it out. Did one hand go there? Did another go on her waist? On his chest? Err…

Finally, MJ spotted somebody doing something she liked, so she nodded at Peter, and wrapped her arms around his neck, and he put his hands around her back. This - now this, felt right.

“I will never find another lover sweeter than you, sweeter than you.”

And they danced. If it was any more possible, they fell even more in love as they listened to the song and kept smiling warmly at each other. MJ’s face must have been melted cheese by this point in particular.

The bridge of the song eventually came.

“You're all that I've ever know

When you smile all my face always seems to glow

You turned my life around

You picked me up when I was down”

And oh man, this was just - this was just getting them. Both of them. MJ saw Peter’s lip quivering a bit, and she felt something prickling at her eyes, so she just did what she could and pulled him in. Now he was up against her, and they were holding each other even more snugly. And thanks to their height difference, it was like he was curling up into her. She curled her arms until her hands were holding his head, because she wanted to always be like this, she never wanted to have to let go of him, the boy she felt happy with, who she felt safe with, who she always wanted to share things with, who always kept her sane, who always wanted to make sure she was okay before himself-

“I love you.” Peter whispered to her.

MJ’s mind may have broken.

So she just hugged him tighter, even as the song started winding down and couples started leaving the dance floor.

MJ didn’t say anything, she just stared at him, looking a little shocked, but still soft enough to where Peter would be able to tell he didn’t say anything wrong.

Peter took the time to gently lead her outside the main dance hall, to a hallway where they could sit together alone. MJ sat down on autopilot, and Peter sat next to her, taking one of her hands in his. But MJ looked down at the floor, not having said a word.

“MJ?” Peter asked gently. “Are you okay?”

MJ didn’t say anything for a moment, but soon she got herself up to speak. “You told me you love me.”

Peter nodded. “I did.”

“Is it… I just… no boy has ever told me that before. At least, no boy I wanted to hear tell me that.”

“I’m just kinda… in shock to be honest because… I can’t believe it.”

“That I love you?” Peter asked.

MJ nodded sharply, a bit winded that he said it again. “I just… I wanted you for so long and… I still can’t believe that you.. you know, want… me too.”

Peter gently raised one of his hands to her face. And she turned to him finally, closing her eyes, relishing the feel of his touch.

“I wouldn’t be so surprised. How could I not fall in love with you?” Peter asked.

MJ finally broke and sniffled a bit. “See I just-I just don’t know how you could-and I-“

Peter took her face with both of his hands now.

“Michelle. I can’t tell you how to feel about yourself. But I want you to know that I think you’re pretty great. And that I love you. I’m in love with you. And you do deserve some happiness, and if I can give you some, I’m gonna do my hardest to give it to you.”

A tear slid down MJ’s cheek, and she couldn’t stop herself from slowly, gently kissing him for that. When they pulled apart, she smiled again and nuzzled herself up to him in a tight embrace, nuzzling herself in so that he could be the big spoon, so to speak. Because of how safe he made her feel, and how happy and how comforting he made her feel. Being in Peter’s arms was everything.

Some girls in school had expressed disbelief that tall, fit, badass looking MJ was in a committed relationship with tiny, cozy little Peter. Some shallower people had frowned on MJ for choosing a tiny, unassuming nerd with some lingering baby fat as her person; that surely someone as curvy and muscular and beautiful as MJ would be with someone else.

But this right here, this comforting embrace, was exactly why MJ never doubted that she had chosen the right person for her.

“You know, I’m a little annoyed though,” MJ laughed through her sniffling. “Because I wanted to say it first.”

Peter’s face lit up like the Fourth of July. “You mean-“

MJ pulled herself up to be level with him again. “Yes. I love you too, Peter.”

And soon they were kissing again, which to be frank, was barely enough to even try to convey the amount of love these two dorks had for each other.

***

Pretty much a spin-off of @i-lovethatforme ‘s beautiful reverse Spideychelle AU ❤️ and a gift for them and @machiavelien

[detective-luca-montoya]

Here we go again! Malik belongs to @lumpsbumpsandwhumps

---

At the sight of her former torturer, Luca blinks and rapidly processes the situation. Public place- or at least as public as a funeral home in the middle of back-ass nowhere was. Innocent people. No immediate threat. Azelf give me strength. Cordial interaction it is.

She pointedly ignores his proffered hand- she never said anything about nice interaction- and tries to appear professional. "Malik."

The glances and hushed whispers from the small crowd of onlookers at her refusing his handshake aren't lost on her, but she ignores it to focus on the infuriatingly smug face of the man in front of her. "I'm here for a case."

"Ah, yes, poor Marvin," Malik shakes his head as if he actually felt any human emotion other than sadism. "He was taken from us too soon, God rest his soul..."

The crowd murmurs in agreement and Luca wants to scream at them in frustration, but chances are all that'll accomplish is her looking like a crazy woman attacking a defenseless upstanding man of God. Not like she hasn't done that before... but for the sake of the case it probably wasn't the best idea.

"I'm assuming you got my letters, then?" Malik asks, and Luca remembers the several funeral bouquets that had shown up at her house a week after the... incident. She'd made sure to shred them and dump them somewhere her housemates couldn't see, and now she wishes she had set them on fire instead. She nods, speaking between gritted teeth. "Imkai'eh."

Ignoring the [now much louder] whispers from their audience, she clears her throat and says, "You have the body here?"

He nods. "Sure do, darlin'. Right this way."

She follows him inside, cognizant of the way the crowd parts to let them by. Evidently Malik is well-respected- which doesn't stop her from seizing him by the tie and yanking him close as soon as the door shuts behind them. "Give me one reason not to expose your ass right now."

Malik doesn't look concerned. It probably doesn't help that he's a head taller than her. "Would you mind? Just got this suit pressed."

She lets go, if only because their height difference is so much worse up close, and he steps back and straightens his tie. "Tell me, darlin', who do you think they'll believe? The girl who just plumb stepped into town outta nowhere, or their lovely local man of God who hasn't a mean bone in his body?"

"Like hell you don't," she retorts, but he has a point. "You can't actually expect me to believe you called me here to solve a murder."

Malik shrugs. "Doesn’t matter much to me what you do. Six in one, half dozen in the other."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Luca demanded, before shaking her head. "I'm solving this case. And once I find out you did it, I'm hauling you down to the county jail myself."

Malik doesn't seem to care, pulling out a candy bar from his pocket and starting to munch. Luca spies the brand and rolls her eyes. "And here I thought you couldn't get any worse."

The man looks genuinely confused. "What?"

"Payday? Seriously? Even your choice of candy bar screams "sociopath"."

She ignores his utterly lost expression. "Just show me the damn body."

[stickynotestoletters]

ugggh so I am a dirty little slut for sal fisher and I had a thought about it sooooo,,,,

Sal Fisher x GN (masc body) headcanons of what he's like with you

this is gonna be very heavily influenced by the fact I am sleepy and really wanna write this rn!

Warnings: Non-canon-compliant (Sal lives, Larry lives, Todd doesn't go crazy, no murder), some NSFW stuff, switch-bottom leaning Sal, Service Top Sal

Highschool

When he first meets you he's, hands down, the most flustered he's ever been before

Like, he's really into you

He just sees you in the hall and immediately blushes

he goes around his days as usual and stuff still but now he's eyeing you whenever you come into view

it's cute, he looks like a little kitten peering at you from around the corner because he’s too shy to say something

Larry makes little jokes about it and always tells him to talk to you

"wow, what a stalker" is his usual line when he finds Sal looking at you from somewhere

he musters up the courage to talk to you in his junior year when you wear a Sanity's Fall's shirt to class one day

from then on you two talk together whenever you have class and stuff

your parents move into the apartments in your senior year because of a demotion and you and Sal start hanging out outside of school

He finally asks you out on the last day of senior year

You and the gang go out to the football field the night after graduation

after they clean up all of the equipment for the stage

You guys end up smoking a blunt because Larry brought some of his stash and, hey, what's the harm?

You and Sal end up laying in the middle of the field while Larry chases Ash and Todd around on the bleachers

They're laughing and howling at the moon so you two just listen

Sal takes his mask off cause he feels more comfortable laying with it off

He takes out his pigtails and you comb through his hair for a bit

You look him in the eyes and just stop brushing your fingers through his hair long enough for him to look up at you

your eyes both meet and you two just stare

You see the stars in his eyes

Sal just thinks "You're the prettiest person I've ever seen"

"what?" "uhhhh....nothing"

"It's okay Sal!" You giggle at him and he giggles too

you both start giggling at each other and you two hug each other

still, just facing each other, heads tucked into shoulders, chests pressed so tightly together, legs intertwined

It's calm

He feels safe

So safe and warm

It's wonderful

So he sighs and says" I think I'm in love with you"

And it's an accident

He doesn't regret it, not processing it until you say "I'm in love with you too silly"

And you stay like that

no panic or guilt

just tucked away into each other

The gang goes to 7/11 that night-morning really it is 3 am-and get slushies

all of them are teasing you guys as you hold hands on the way there

it's cute

He's cute

You're cute

You both feel warm in the jackets you switch from each other

it's cute

"God the stalker finally got the victim in their clasps, another tragically happy ending" "Shut it Larry Face"

College

You both end up staying in different places after high school

You take a year off college and stay with your parents at Addison Apartments and Sal moves into the gang's house

It's nice, you see each other regularly for dates and ghost hunts

it's blissful

Then Sal starts having his nightmares again and you come over regularly for sleepovers

it's months into this routine of going home, getting new clothes from the apartments, go out with Sal, come and sleep at his place to help with nightmares, repeat that Larry has the most brilliant idea

"Why don't you just move in with Sal? You practically live with him anyway."

This is in front of you two, you're both at the gang's house and drinking some morning coffee

Sal not really jokes and agrees

And then you genuinely agree

It's a big moment for you two

Sal wanted you to move in right away but was scared his nightmares would affect you or you two wouldn't end up working out

So you two complied and stayed where you were

But this is gonna be an actual conversation where he is up for it and knows you two are stable

So you talk about it

You two agree

And you end up moving in that day

it's not that hard since most of your clothes are over there already

It's basically just moving your bed, knick-knacks, and bookshelf in so that's just the big things since you have a queen

It's bliss from there

you both settle into a nice routine and after you start college Sal decides to focus on his music for rn and take a break

You get a job and the dynamic is just... so pure

you guys are finally, finally, okay and the best thing is that you're together

He's still adorable and you're still sweet

You guys end up getting your own apartment outside of Nockfell and Addison Apartments

The gang stays around

Larry ends up moving in with you two for a little bit until he can afford his own place

Sal gets a lot more gigs out there in the city than he would have gotten in Nockfell and you get a job at a little club

Sal ends up playing there often because of you

NSFW headcanons

Okay so Sal is a hopeless romantic

before he moved to Nockfell he never really had anybody else who was interested in him

so he was super hopeless in planning your first time together

once you had slept over with each other a couple of times he makes this grand layout and waits for you to walk in to see him spred on the bed, clad in some cute underwear and nothing else

turns out though you were sick and sent Larry to tell Sal you couldn’t come over cause your phone was dead and you didn’t wanna get him sick

So Larry ends up walking in on a naked Sal and scarying the everloving crap out of him

He makes fun of y'all after that about it

So your first time is honestly uneventful after that whole fiasco

Deciding to just causally hook up at his place instead

Sal is a switch but he leans for bottoming

he can top, he's really good at being a service top

He’s not insecure about himself, he’s pretty big for his height *cough* (9.7) *cough*

but he prefers being spoiled and called pretty

loves being called feminine nicknames like "pretty baby" even if he is topping

stuff that's gender-neutral but is more feminine in origin

He likes it when you do it doggy-style if you're topping just cause if you press him into the mattress he can feel you better inside of him

Whines so much when you go faster

really likes getting fucked stupid, he wants his throat to be sore and his ass to be bed-ridden

Loves topping you when you're in his lap straddling him

He really likes to make you do work for a while, guides you and everything until you're breaking

when you eventually end up asking for him to "just fuck me already Sal...please?" He wants tears down your face, crying and desperate for him or else it’s not gonna happen

He ends up fucking into you like a monster from there if you are

loves when you lay on your back and he's on his knees sitting and thrusting into you, pulling you onto his lap

very vocal either way but he laughs and giggles more with you, his moans are less fucked out and more "oh god, yes!" in nature

His sex drive is really high, he could go for hours

If you end up getting tired when he's bottoming he's gonna bounce on your pretty cock and ride you so pathetically

It's so pathetically adorable

but if he's topping and you get tired he usually asks you if he can fuck you to sleep

You end up agreeing only if he cleans you up after

He doesn't have any severe kinks or whatnot

He's really into being breed though

Tie him up too while you do it

he likes gags as well

when you breed him he'll end up feeling bad after you finish and he can't feel it anymore once it's out

So you end up giving him a buttplug after to compromise

Sometimes if he's being a brat you'll tie him up, gag him, and leave him with a vibrator over stimming him

You'll leave him in the room and come back to a crying Sal, salivating and so fucked out without having even cum once

If you're ever being the brat he does the exact opposite

He'll tie you up but make it so you can't close your mouth

You have to be quiet though, he doesn’t want to hear anything louder than breathing and your pathetic whimpers

you're over stimmed to hell and orgasm so much it's difficult to keep awake

but do not fall asleep cause if you don't get through it to the end it won't end (Consensually of course)

He and Larry definitely hooked up once or twice before meeting you so I think he'd ask you to let him in on it

It becomes a regular occurrence until Larry moves out

But when you do have a threesome and he is feeling dominant get ready to not move for the next three weeks

It's nice though and doesn't end up changing the relationship between you three

That's it, I gotta stop before I cream myself into dirtier shit cause I am his slut. I have Sal Fisher brain rot syndrome so I'll definitely make another one eventually. Request some stuff and I'll be happy to write!

Continuation for Threesome hcs here by request

-Laika

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

chained, m | myg

pairing(s): yoongi x reader

summary: You ever fuck someone wearing a collar and a chain... that's attached to the hot girl with the demonic grin? No? Just Min Yoongi? In his defense, he really likes a bad bitch.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; yup, there are Marilyn Manson and Slipknot references; D/s smut (fem reader, black leather collars and a chain leash, [a lot of] choking, saliva everywhere, handjob, m-receiving oral, slight edging, hair pulling, penetrative sex); non-idol!AU - rapper, sub!Yoongi x goth (also kinda his manager? lol) dom!reader; kinda PWP; Yoongi's POV

--

feel like I'm hexed, yeah, that bitch bad collar on her neck and her ass real fat

Most people would say, “Nah, dude, don’t mess with girls like that.”

Most people would say, “She’s fucking scary, why the hell would you think she’s hot?”

Most people would, but Min Yoongi wasn’t most people.

“I want to play a game.”

He tilted his head. “Then let’s play a game.”

She grinned, wild hair over her left eye. “Yeah?”

The first time he met her, he was at a bar and a woman was chatting him up, engaging him in conversation he didn’t want to be in. Fuck. The only reason he came was to accompany his friends, but they were all much more extroverted than he was and had already wandered off with potentials of the night. He didn’t want a potential. He just wanted a damn shot of whiskey and then he was going to slink into a corner and pretend nobody existed.

He minimized his responses to, “Mhm” and “Yeah,” but the woman wasn’t getting the hint and the bartender was busy. Sigh.

All of a sudden, a short man with a white, mannequin-like mask appeared. The white mask was painted with black streaks. He had stringy, long black and red hair and was wearing black coveralls.

Yoongi and the woman jumped away from each other, disconcerted by the appearance of the strange, tiny man.

“Bartender! Hey, real quick, can you get my friend here a drink?”

And then, fuck.

Black leather jacket, silver hardware. Tight fitted white top, so shredded the black bra underneath was visible. Short black pleated skirt. Ripped tights. Thick black boots with chains. Yoongi felt his eyes widen, looking up and down at this curvy frame. Wild hair, lush tits, juicy thighs, an ass that could put anyone in a trance with the way those hips swayed. Dark makeup, playful grin with red-stained lips.

A black choker with at least eight-centimeter spikes.

A pure white contact lens in her left eye.

“Hey, you can’t cover your face here,” a patron interrupted. “That’s creepy.”

The small man in the mask didn’t reply. The woman in black, however, swatted a hand like she was whacking away a fly.

“He’s part of the entertainment. Buzz off.”

“Oh, yes, you’re the band’s drummer, right?” The bartender rushed over. “Sorry, sorry. What will it be?”

The masked man said nothing.

“Double shot whiskey on the rocks,” the woman replied for him. “Did I get it right this time, Hana?”

A single nod from that stringy head.

“What about you?”

Yoongi jumped, startled the woman in black leather was addressing him. She cocked her head to the confused bartender. “You’ve been standing here ignored for the past ten minutes. I noticed because I was waiting for the guys to suit up to bring Hana to the bar.” She waved her hand. “Come on. Give me your order. I got you.”

“O… Oh. Same thing.”

She nodded. “Ya heard him. And don’t just only pay attention to cute girls, bartender.”

The bartender’s cheeks flushed. “A-Ah, I apologize! I’ll have them ready right away.”

The woman sighed and shook her head, completely ignoring the chatty woman who was making eyes at Yoongi, trying to get near him again. Yoongi pretended not to notice, stepping closer to the short, creepy man. The white mask didn’t move. The woman leaned down a bit because the man was shorter than she was with her height and platform boots.

“Don’t be takin’ nothing with the whiskey now. I’m treatin’ ya,” she chuckled under her breath.

Yoongi noticed the slight satoori. It made her voice a little deep and gruff.

“Shut it.”

She snickered. “Made you talk, Hana.”

The white mask went back to being silent.

She sighed and stood back up turning her attention to Yoongi. “Sorry about my friend here. He doesn’t like talking or people. I’m trying to get him to be more personable. Is it working?”

Yoongi blinked.

“Uh.”

Damn, every time she smiled, he felt a thrill shoot up his spine. White teeth showing, pink tongue peeking out between them.

It just seemed a little psychotic, a little mischievous, and a lot sexy.

“I know it’s not working. Can’t say I didn’t try.”

The masked man might as well have been a mannequin with how still he was.

“You’re his manager?” Yoongi found himself asking.

She shrugged. “Kind of? I actually just own the studio space the band records. But I like coming to the gigs sometimes if I can. Good excuse to get a little drunk, eh? Plus, I’m trying to find musicians to rent out the other spaces.”

Fuck.

Was it his lucky day or what?

“I’m looking for a studio space to record my music, actually.”

Her eyebrows raised. “No shit? You wanna talk some business?”

Oh, they talked business to bass and drums thundering the bar.

Later, they talked about some… other things too. What could he say? Yoongi liked a bad bitch. She wore leather, she owned cluster of studio spaces – “well, they ain’t mine, they’re my dad’s, but he’s never here, he’s off gambling and chasing booty, I think” – she gave him a fair price, and she loved to suck dick.

Yoongi didn’t find out about that last bit until later.

Right now, she was clipping the end of a silver chain to the collar around his neck.

It was heavy, probably metal. The collar he was wearing was thick black leather, with a steel ring resting against his collarbones. Yoongi was pretty sure she was doing a number on him. He wore a lot of black, yeah. He liked leather jackets too. But being around her presence was messing with his head and he was pretty sure he was being influenced by her energy. He used to hate his eye shape and his dark circles, but when he saw himself in the mirror with her tangled around him, riding his dick, he found himself thinking he didn’t look so bad after all. He looked good standing with the woman with the white contact lens and the demonic grin.

Maybe he was a little crazy, but everyone was a little crazy. Yoongi wasn’t worried about something like that.

Right now, she licked her teeth with that lithe, pink tongue of hers.

The other end of the chain was connected to the collar around her neck.

“You wanna play?” she drawled.

Fuck, he loved that shit. Her voice got slightly deep and throaty when she spoke in satoori. He wasn’t sure if she noticed it or not. It must be from her father. She mentioned that she had been raised by her dad – “sporadically, he liked to travel and, by travel, I mean gamble and chase ass, although surprisingly he didn’t come back with more kids, so I guess he learned his lesson” – but she was kind of the same way.

Not the gambling bit.

He didn’t really mind it though. She didn’t try to hide anything and he encouraged her to be herself. Plus, no one was getting the treatment he got. Yoongi was pretty sure about that, because when she fucked around, she did it in public. He had to be the one to tell her to take it upstairs and go for the throat.

Alright, not the throat. The dick.

In some way, Yoongi felt that was her way of asking if he approved, because she never took it upstairs and out of his sight unless he gave her the go ahead.

Right now, her tongue extended and wiggled in the air, glossy and slick with her saliva.

He smirked, open-mouthed and with a flick of tongue at the edge of his teeth.

She gripped the chain and yanked him by the neck to her face, crashing that demonic grin to his lips.

Like an injection or a spell, it gave him a rush, the firm leather snapping against his neck, chained to her, both wearing the collars, but she was always in control, always, and he liked it like that, liked the way she traced his lips with her powerful tongue, her saliva his aphrodisiac, before she captured his lips and rolled her body into his lap, skin to skin, moving like a snake, his gasp against her devouring mouth, her bare ass sliding on his thigh, fuck, so sexy, so soft, so bouncy, one hand on his face and another on his shoulder, fingers spread out and tendons flexing.

He liked to say she was the angel that held up her blinding halo with devil horns.

She yanked on the chain and Yoongi sucked in a breath, closing one eye as she licked his cheek, ending with a kiss on his brow. Cold air chilled his wet skin, making him shiver.

“God, you’re so fuckin’ hot, Yoongi.”

Pretty sure neither of them believed in a god but it got the point across.

He raised his hand and she smacked his wrist down, pinning it to the bed.

“Nuh uh.”

Yoongi wasn’t really expecting her to let him.

He raised his other hand. It was immediately swatted down onto the bed, her eyebrow cocking.

“Naughty, naughty.”

He cocked an eyebrow back, defying.

She leaned down and snatched the chain in her mouth, tugging on it with teeth and neck, narrowing her eyes. The white contact lens on her left eye gleamed under her lashes. She always wore it except right before sleeping. He once asked her why and she had shrugged.

“Mental security, I guess.”

Now, she growled like an animal.

“Down.”

She looked like she was about to headbutt him. He wouldn’t put it past her.

He lowered himself slowly, her mouth holding the chain taut until he was laying on the bed. She grinned, pleased at his obedience. Yoongi was quite sure that she was probably the closest being to a succubus that he would ever encounter with the violent thrill of arousal she was giving him with those plush lips and white teeth around the silver chain, pink tongue circling around the metal to tease him.

Maybe he was the crazy one for being turned on by it.

She dropped the chain on his chest. He flinched, the wet, heavy metal thudding onto his sternum, right against his pounding heartbeat. She rubbed her thigh against his balls and hardening cock, raising her head, chain following, higher, higher, letting go of his hands, arching her back, tits up, until it was fully taut between his neck and hers, the sides of the collars forcefully digging into his neck and hers. Yoongi did not lift his head from the bed to reduce the tension. Her devilish smile widened. A chain tug-of-war between collar to collar, both of them choking the other.

She lifted her hand and licked her palm, saturating it with saliva.

She reached down and wrapped her long fingers around his stiff length.

Didn’t say he could touch her though, so Yoongi didn’t.

“Think you can last longer than last time?”

He clenched his jaw. “Maybe.”

She pulled harder and he locked his neck and shoulders, clutching the sheets with a sharp gasp, pleasure shooting up his core, firm, strong strokes up and down his cock, fuck, fuck, every damn time, that second of cold as her saliva soaked his skin and then it warmed up fast to hot, slippery ecstasy, hard and getting harder, his pre-cum mixing with her saliva, staring at her hard nipples and juicy hips, knees around one of his thighs, shaking her ass when she noticed him looking, changing the pace, addicted to the feeling of her hands. He could feel the bones and the hard muscle of her grip and, sure, that didn’t sound sexy, but it felt incredible, adding stimulation in that inescapable hold and paired with slickness, choking his cock slightly and he craved every second of it, thighs tense and hard, growling in his throat as he dug his head into the mattress, pulling the chain for all it was worth, lightheaded now, the leather cutting in, probably leaving a mark, locking eyes with mischievous orbs and an impish smirk, the sides of her collar also cutting into the sides of her neck, choking herself as she was choking him while jacking him off.

Black haze threatened the edges of his vision.

He was going to pass out or cum. Yoongi didn’t care which happened first.

“F… Fuck!”

Yoongi snapped his jaw shut and shot up her forearm and down his length, strained groan of her name leaking past his teeth, bolts of pleasure invading his nerves all the way up to his scalp, blossoming into an erotic haze. She snapped her head forward. Oxygen flooded his brain, his jaw going slack with a moan, his eyes rolling back, high so high his whole body shuddered, barely registering her movement, hearing the lewd slurps of her drinking up his cum.

Wet.

Hot.

“Shit!”

Her mouth enveloped his twitching length, burying it deep into her throat, slathering tongue and satisfied hiss, chain clinking against his stomach and hitting his trembling balls, twisting her head so the chain wouldn’t cause any damage to them as she began to suck, flashes of tongue flickering out of the edges of those plush lips, grazing his crotch and scrotum, pointedly staring at him with an arched eyebrow.

She bounced her hips when she noticed him looking, shaking her ass as she sucked his dick.

Yoongi grinned.

His vision was barely focusing, trying to recover from orgasm in the midst of the intoxicating pleasure of her soft and tight mouth, tongue rubbing under the head of his cock, causing it to jerk and swell in the back of her throat and then she thrust it all the way back in there, taking him impossibly deep, sinfully moaning around his cock, vibrating it with lust. He glanced at her hands, fingers spread out and joints locked, tendons flexed, pointed black fingernails clawing into the sheets.

The heat flaring over his abdomen and hips was rising to his limit once more.

Yoongi panted her name, hoarse and breathless, realizing his Daegu satoori was suddenly more prominent in his disheveled state.

“I’m gonna cum–”

She popped her mouth off his cock and he snapped his teeth, snarling.

“You bitch.”

She grinned, wiggling her tongue, thick plops of saliva dripping down and hitting his flinching hips and throbbing cock, the head an angry purple-red from being so roughly stimulated after orgasm. The white contact gleamed alongside the devious glint in her right eye, black pupils blown out, a little psychotic, a little mischievous, and a lot sexy.

It didn’t matter who was on top because she knew she was always on top.

To be clear, Yoongi didn’t take shit from anyone without a fight. It got him in trouble sometimes, but this particular brand was trouble was the kind he liked. She gave him a long period of two seconds to roll the condom down before tangling one hand in the metal chain and the other in his black hair, pulling both in opposite directions. He hissed dangerously, plunging his hard cock into the wet, waiting heat, scorched by her roughness and his desire, one of her legs on his shoulder and the other around his waist, smacking their bodies together with violent force.

The tip of her tongue traced her teeth, grinning demonically.

“Come on, you said you were gonna play the game with me, Yoongi,” she chuckled, naughtily mocking him, voice deep and rough from her satoori.

“Let’s see if you can keep up,” he growled in kind, low and gravelly.

She pulled on the collar much harder than his hair, but both were equally arousing, prickling pain on his scalp and circulation cut short once again, brief flashes of oxygen bleeding through with his aggressive thrusts, the excess chain knocking against her collarbones, just another layer of sound along with slapping hips and squelching juices, her velvet walls clenching around him with every descent, not going fast so he could last, burying deep and hitting her hard. She winced, guttural growl at the base of her throat and the side of his lips quirked up.

“Too much?” he taunted.

“I’ll tell you when it’s too much,” she grunted, jerking her hips up and brutally squeezing the head deep inside.

“Fuck…”

He knew she wouldn’t let him do anything she didn’t want, so he kept going, her wrist flicking up with every thrust, leather collar snapping into his skin, thinning his breath to gasps at the stinging pain, the hand in his hair releasing him, messy black strands invading his vision, but he had no time to complain, groaning as her nails dug into his back and dragged up, inflamed hot lines that shot into his system and fed his adrenaline. His fists bunched the sheets, locking his shoulders, clenching his jaw, flexing his neck, and now he was being choked again, consistently this time, oxygen thinning out once more, barely able to keep his eyes open.

Her smile sent thrills up his spine and they split at the base of his head, tendrils of vicious desire numbing all sensations except lust, gluttonous for the pain that nourished more pleasure, greedy for everything she forced him to take, too prideful to ask her to loosen her hold, desperate not to give in to her wrath, usually slothful but now using every fiber of his strength to push himself to the limit, high getting higher knowing that anyone would be envious of how good he got it from that fiendish playful grin and hot delicious body under him, collared together in joined sin.

She let out a low moan, basking in him, feeding his need to satisfy hers.

“You’re so fuckin’ hot, Yoongi.”

He managed to get out half of a breath, staring into those irises, one real, one covered in white.

“Fuck, your voice gets me off every time,” he hissed.

He slammed his hips down and she clamped around his entire length, releasing the chain, both of their heads tipping back, his in the air and hers into the pillows, moans in unison as he shot into the condom and she released onto his twitching length and skin, coating him with slickness. The scent of sex permeated the air, his previous orgasm soaked into the sheets already and hers smearing with it as their hips descended, his throbbing cock pulsed by her flinching walls, her thighs tense around his waist and his hard ones against her ass, making sure to lean forward so he didn’t fall out, savoring every second of their joined bodies.

The hotel room was certainly getting some important use.

Yoongi remembered he had been annoyed when she said he should rent one since the potential gig was rather far away and transportation so late at night was going to be a bitch. He almost didn’t do it, but she rolled her eyes and booked it anyway, triumphant when he sold out the venue. Not a huge venue, but bigger than he had ever performed before.

He still said she had to make it up to him for making him travel farther than he originally wanted.

As usual, Yoongi was not disappointed.

“Housekeeping is gonna be pissed,” she chuckled. “Smells like sex.”

“I don’t give a shit.”

“How’s your throat?”

“Pretty sure rapping strains the inside of my throat, not the outside.”

She chuckled. “Now you hurt all over.”

“Good.”

Yoongi closed the distance and kissed that smirk, metal chain sandwiched between their hot, sweaty skin, the steel rings of the black leather collars clinking against each other.

--

masterpost

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the lyrics in the beginning are from hot demon b!tches near u!! by CORPSE ft night lovell