#god i hope im better for the actual exam in two weeks | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

neko-rogers · 4 years ago

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But It’s Better If You Do

Trying to keep your relationship with your professor was easy enough, until you learned that someone had found out about it.

words: 7,424 tags: manipulative!peter, explicit noncon/dubcon elements, degredation, implied overstimulation, blackmailing, kidnapping, college student and professor relationship,

a/n: whew this had a lot of words compared to what i usually write. plus, since im bad at titles, i’ll just use my fav song titles lmao. (ps. erik lehnsherr aka magneto is here and im just glad i could put him in my little fictional world bc im d biggest slut for him)

A complete lie, you just did not want to deal with college fuck boys.

The man in front of the class was practically pouring his heart out into the lecture. The chalkboard was filled with white letterings from left to right, not knowing where to start as you take down notes.

“It is important to keep in mind that bimolecular structure and function are dictated by the properties of the medium in which they are dissolved,” your professor explains while continually pacing from one end to the other among the students seated at the first row.

You decided to seat around the middle to the last row, knowing it was the least obvious way for other students in the class to notice how much you fawn over your Organic Chemistry professor rather than the subject itself.

Honestly you could listen to him talk for hours. All those information he had been discussing would not actually process through your thoughts. You knew that better than anyone.

But who honestly would invalidate your reason? Everyone can probably relate to hating Chemistry, no matter what subcategory it is.

Considering that this was probably one of the most difficult courses you had in your program. You were just thankful and lucky enough you landed on one of the hottest professors amongst the campus.

“Hey what did Professor Lehnsherr say about the problems during synthesis of proteins?” Peter asks.

In spite of being fortunate about everything else about this subject, you were not quite happy about Peter Parker following you around like a lost puppy. Especially during the classes you both have alike.

The boy constantly asks so much questions as if you were the teacher already. In addition, he seemed smart enough to figure things out yet somehow he keeps on bugging you for reassurance.

You did not want to be rude. He has not done anything to completely deserve your rage, however he was definitely getting on your nerves.

Honestly you would not want to be infuriated over his consistent queries, but you were just as distracted as he was, maybe even more. With this, you were looking dumber to him each day.

To anyones pride, it was probably a kick in the stomach. You knew you were not the brightest in this class, but it was best to leave the information to yourself. No need for anyone to point out how mindless you were.

And you really were not. You had other Science subjects you totally excel at. Sadly, Chemistry was just not one of them.

“Well, uh, I don’t think I got that part either.” You look aside where he was seated and awkwardly smiled at him before mentioning an apology, “Sorry, Peter.”

In return, Peter smiled at you and dismissed the question. You were not so sure whether to forget about it or take even the least bit of offense. You felt a little mocked by how easily he did it and innocently he smiled, but maybe you were just overthinking this through.

“It’s fine,” he tells. “I just didn’t get the third bullet, but I’ll try to review it in the textbook when I get home.”

“Oh okay, sure.”

“Speaking about reviewing,” Again, Peter tries to start another discourse.

“I was wondering if you got reviewers for the upcoming text for next week? We all know how difficult Professor Lehnsherr’s exams can get, right?” He lets out a forced chuckle, assuming it could lighten the mood.

As much as he tried to make small talks with you, almost everyday, today you really feel like you did not want to return the favor. Especially after having to bring up the test next week.

“I don’t really make reviewers, I usually just scan the books I have at home.”

Lies. You probably have a box full of index cards and sticky notes in your room.

You tried to use every studying tips every corner of the Internet could give. All those study-life hacks that really did not help much but pile up to your disorganized state of mind.

You fucking tried to study Chemistry. You really did.

“What, you don’t?!” He suddenly exclaims, not realizing the loudness of his voice as it almost caught the attention from people at front. “You seem to be busy all the time though. It’s like I always catch your writing or reading something in class.”

Maybe your mood was just off but it definitely seemed weird for him to say that. Though, you did not want to make something from what he said. It was not worth your time.

“I guess people are not always what they seem to be, yeah?”

Again, Peter gives out that soft chuckle and smile, “Then I guess so. You do make a point.”

He does not argue with you any further.

“Can I at least borrow your Physics book? I only bought Chemistry and Biotech for the semester. Didn’t know they would actually utilize it for once,” he scoffs.

At first you hesitated. You were reviewing for it too, but you already felt bad for being no help whenever he asks a question and often times disregarding him when your mood if off. Plus, you did just make it look like you were not much of a study-freak.

“Okay.”

He instinctively fist pumps the air and looks at you with a wide, grateful grin. “Thank you so much. You’re a lifesaver, Y/N.”

“Don’t mention it.” You grab the book he needs from your bag and hands it to him. He accepts it and places it inside his while also clearing the rest of his things.

Looking at his digital wristwatch wherein he raised his index finger up as if he figured something out of it, he says, “He’s going to dismiss the class in a few minutes. We should get ready for Cell Biology next period.

Oh how you hated it. Were you jumping to conclusions? Or was this boy really trying to be too close with you? Or was he just being nice and informing you to prepare ahead?

God, you did not give Peter Parker the right to cloud up your thoughts like this.

“Thanks,” you say, “but I need to talk to Professor Lehnsherr after class. Have to, uh, consult him about my concept paper that he made us submit last week.”

As he tidies his notebooks up and carelessly shoves it inside his backpack, he immediately looks back at you with a confused expression, “Oh, I can always wait for you–”

“It’s fine, Peter. Thank you though.” Two of your hands were instinctively waving in front of you, a meek gesture for him to stop coddling you or whatever move he had been trying to make at you.

“Are you sure? I–”

And if you were ought to be saved further from lashing out over Peter’s incessant attempts, you finally heard the words any student was longing to hear. “Class dismissed. I’ll see you all on Monday.”

“Eri–err, Professor Lensherr just dismissed the class. Better catch up to him before he heads out,” you hurriedly said. And with a loud slam from your notebook, you quickly shut him out. In addition, you practically shoved every thing in front of you into your bag without sparing a second glance.

One strap of your back was slung over your shoulder as you hurriedly flew down the aisle. Professor Lehnsherr was midway into packing his things before you interrupted and approached him.

“Professor,” you call out. “I have a question. About the paper I handed in last week.”

“Uhuh.” He faintly furrows his eyebrows, trying to hide his already obvious bewilderment. “I forgot which assignment was that, Ms. Y/L/N.”

There were students still exiting in class. So you tried your best to make your conversation with him less suspicious. He was most likely doing the same.

“It was about the Chemistry-proposal thing.” You snapped your fingers a few times as you gathered your train of thought, but realizing it was not going effectively. “Well I just wanted to confirm it since, you know, I was hoping for any feedback from you throughout this week.”

“I’m not sure if I have read it. I’ve certainly been busy this week,” he clarifies. “Nonetheless, we can talk about it later. Thank you for bringing it up. I’ll make sure to follow it up in my schedule, Ms. Y/N.”

Both of you made your way out the door once there were only a minuscule amount of students left in class. You probably had been looking at your professor with gushing stares, but you doubt the other people in the room could notice it. They were farther away from where both of you stood, much less would they be able to hear what the two of your were talking about.

“Oh thank you so much, sir!” You almost cried out and jumped in joy while reaching through the threshold. Moreover, you composed yourself before mumbling out, “I’ll see you later, Eric.”

In which you were certain no one would have heard it besides him.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．

“I’m sure you’ll get a good grade in the exams, Y/N,” Eric leans back to his seat with a humble smile upon his face.

“Really? I doubt so, there’s a kid in your class that keeps bugging me out to a study date, or whatever you call it,” you sneer. You lick your lips as you finish taking a sip around the wine glass, setting it down and looking back at the man you were having dinner with. “It’s getting very annoying though, he surely knows how to get on my nerves.”

“I’m sure he’s just trying to flirt with you, like any other college boys do.” He optimistically and maturely lays out the options. “It’s pretty normal for anyone to chase someone they are fond of, especially for young adults like you.”

It was a pretty obvious sign that he was trying to let his message reach you.

“Well, I apologize for my standards of men,” you say. “I just want to skip the whole heartbreak in college and character development. All that stuff you usually see in a typical teen romance movie.”

You sigh, looking down and saying, “I already found a man for me. Why would I stoop down for some guy who’s most likely wanting something from me, and dumping me once he got what he wanted.”

“Y/N, I don’t blame you for liking men that’s ten years older than you,” Eric assures. “But I want you to realize that you still have a lot to look forward after graduating

“And I look forward for you too!” You tried to not raise your voice, though having dinner in his house wouldn’t really catch anyones attention. “I can’t wait to finally graduate from second semester and be able to spend more time, publicly, with you.”

“Yes, I understand, honey.” He places his hand over yours as he tries to calm you down. “Like I said, I just want you to make sure that you’ve clearly thought this through.”

Eric adds, “There’s plenty of men out there. I don’t want to take away your opportunity of experiencing something new at such a young age.”

“I’m turning twenty-four! I promise you I’m thinking everything through.” Your voice was much weaker than a few seconds ago. The evident tone of strength fades even with one glance from the man in front of you. You felt yourself shrink in your seat. But you were sure he does not intend to frighten you into compliance.

“Sorry,” you pout. “Didn’t mean to raise my voice.”

“I understand, and I won’t pressure you any more tonight, okay?” He tries to uplift your mood, detecting quickly the shift of the room’s atmosphere. “You deserve a good dinner tonight, like I promised, sweetie.”

His smile made you calmer. It was then that you realized why you were attracted to a man like him even if he was still your teacher.

The way he handles you in any given situation so sensibly. Though it may feels intimidating at first, he consequently tries to override the tone of the conversation which cheers you up.

With one hand, he hold yours and gently draws it towards him at the same moment he leans his head down. Eric presses a kiss against the back of your hand and you butterflies immediately fill inside your stomach. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Every doubt you had entirely disappeared now. If there were hints of you hesitating to continue seeing Eric, they were certainly long gone now.

“Let me drive you home after dinner,” he offers, like the gentleman he is.

Eric always does make sure you get home safe. However, you both agreed that he drops you off at least a block away from your house. Just in case people around your neighborhood might catch you, or worse your parents.

It was not like you were ashamed of your relationship with Eric. Cautious was the term.

You were only a few months in seeing him. Fair enough, he was your second semester professor and the both of you met before that period.

You were not only risking the wrath of your parents once they hear you’re dating an older man, let alone your Chemistry teacher. But you were also putting him at risk if ever his faculty finds out.

Eventually, the two of you pack up and end your conversation. Other than talking about college, the two of you also talk more about yourselves which has progressed you into learning more about each other’s personalities and likes.

He helps you out of his house and into the passenger seat of his car. It had been more than thrice wherein he drove you home, and the familiar scent of leather and the typical Glad air fresheners has clung onto your nose. You strap on your seatbelt on just as he was getting inside the driver’s side.

The ride was not entirely dead silent. Eric made a few more small talks before finally turning a right which was where he usually drops you off. It amazes you how instantly he remembered the way to your home, as you instructed him the first time.

“Thank you for tonight, like always, Eric.”

As always, you made your way out of his car prior to giving him a kiss. You only had to walk straight ahead, glancing at your home which had one dim light illuminating through one window.

Upon entering the house, you figured your parents were already asleep and a hint of the living room lamp was present. Taking the benefit of not having to be interrogated by anyone, you rushed upstairs to your bedroom, turned on the lights, and immediately closed the door behind you with a sigh of relief. A smile was also visible after recalling your night with Eric.

As you made your way towards your bed, a piece of paper lays obvious in the middle of it. Your sheets were flattened and tidied, so you could obviously detect when something is placed on top of it. You have no memory of leaving it early in the morning before you left too.

When picking the paper up, you realized it was a piece of polaroid film. Its back was facing you, having no idea what to expect at the front.

At that point, the smile from your face turned into horror and all the color in you basically drained away.

The picture displayed you and Eric at one dinner night out from a few days ago, you still remember. It could have been anything but malicious, but the way his hand was intertwined with yours as both of you laugh away without worries. It was clear as day, the light shining perfectly at the both of you. Anyone can conclude what was happening in the picture.

You did not know this day would come. The picture was taken from Eric’s home to prevent such things like this from happening. So it puzzled you just as much at it terrified you.

This was definitely someone who had been stalking either one of you. It was not a mere instance like paparazzis who catch celebrities dating on the streets of New York.

Someone definitely have been observing the two of you.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．

Days have passed, a week almost. Examinations are scheduled for tomorrow.

And you prayed that the picture you received would be the only thing terrorizing your dreams. But you were completely wrong.

From thereon, you started to receive more pictures, specifically one every morning and night, from your past hangouts with Eric. It were simple shots but had the power to completely jeopardize either one of you, mostly him at stake though.

It was obvious that the person behind this was definitely observing the two of you for a while. Probably even during the most earliest weeks when your relationship with him started.

Though it may seem unfair, you did not mention anything about it to Eric. It was enough the he was keeping with you, his job, and himself private – which clearly was not working out so well. You felt like it was your responsibility to handle this situation. You were so sure you did not try to publicize anything and kept it on the low.

Nevertheless, it was out there. Eric had not mentioned anything so you assumed he did not receive a picture like you did.

Currently, you were seated at the farthest row at the back of the room, somewhat near the corner. Physics was your last subject and you could not wait but finally leave.

In addition, you texted Eric that you would not be seeing him until after the exams. It was an easy excuse not to see him, saying that you wanted to focus on studying for it; however, you knew that you would just be busy thinking about the creepy stalker gallery you have been receiving.

“Hey.” Unsurprisingly, a familiar voice whispers next to you which disrupts your heavy train of thoughts. “You finished studying for tomorrow? I’m about to end my review with Chemistry later.”

“Cool.” Probably the one of the most basic replies in the universe. “I haven’t finished studying, I’m kind of dealing with a lot of things recently.”

You made sure to generalize your answer, but enough for him to sympathize and at least give you some space.

“Oh, sorry to hear about that.” Peter frowns. He takes his seat a few desks away from your left, leaving you to continue thinking. You were thankful for his gesture too.

Surprisingly enough the boy barely bothered you for the entire lecture. You were still engrossed on finding out whoever was stalking you, even so dating back to boys you evidently rejected during the first semester – who badmouthed you immediately afterwards. There were not a lot of names, so it was easy to remember who was who.

You traced back to each boy and remembered what they said after you told them you were not ready to enter a relationship – a complete lie, you just did not want to deal with college fuck boys.

Just as you expected from any of them, rumors have spread out about you which was mostly shaming you physically or mentally. Some were milder insults than the other yet at the end of the day you did not care.

“Fuck,” you whisper to yourself. “Who was that boy at Liz’s party.”

Your eyes were sealed shut, recalling a list of names while using your thumb and middle finger to massage your temples. It was getting frustrating and mentally exhausting.

After some time, you had so much word filling in and our of your brain that you were not aware that your own name was being called. Your heart practically skipped a beat after hearing it the first time, assuming that you were being called to recite an answer. But you became content after seeing that it was just Peter, who started tapping your arm to get your attention.

“Huh?” You lightly shake your head before turning your head aside.

“Oh, class was dismissed a few minutes earlier than usual–”

“Don’t forget to answer the assignment regarding thermodynamic concepts found it the book. You’ll hand it in immediately on Wednesday.” The professor addresses the class as they were already carrying their bags and themselves out the room.

You start placing your stationeries inside yours, packing your other things up until it was only a pair of earphones and your phone left in front. Peter stood near the aisle while looking at you just as you were zipping your bag shut.

“Oh shoot, I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he states out of nowhere causing you to furrow your eyebrows at him. “I forgot I still haven’t returned your Physics book I borrowed last week.”

Nodding your head and standing up, you shrug it off. “It’s fine. You can return it tomorrow.”

“Sure, but how will you do your Physics assignment?”

Oh yeah. Your professor literally reminded the class a few seconds ago.

“I think I might be able to do it overnight. How many pages is the task?”

“Eight, or nine I think.” He frowns looking very guilty at you.

“Shit,” you swore. That was a lot of pages than the usual assignments given.

“Yeah, professor said it could help add points if you somehow get a bad grade at the tests.”

“Never mind,” you tried to set his mistake aside. “I’ll try to do it within overnight tomorrow. I can ask for help from my friend tomorrow morning and–”

“Wait! I realized you can stop by my apartment to get it.”

“Oh–er, Peter, I don’t think I have time to–

“It’s just nearby the campus, I promise,” he assures and adds, “it wouldn’t be a hassle, it’s probably on your way home anyway so it won’t make a difference.”

“Uhm.” You were doubtful of him.

However, you did realize that you did not have anything to do after class. You were keeping distance with Eric for the meantime which meant that your schedule was mostly vacant after this.

“Please,” he begs, “I feel so bad for keeping it the whole week. I swear it’s like a few blocks from here.”

“Would it take more than twenty minutes?” You purse your lips, convincing yourself that you would rather force yourself to study at home than spend it at someone’s apartment.

“I only take around ten minutes to walk so,” he answers. “Unless you’re a slow walker, of course.” The tone of his voice seeming to be joking.

Again, he pleads. This kid will not fucking budge.

“Fine,” you blurt out. Though, you realized your sudden-almost lash out moment at the boy that you made sure to reiterate it but slower, “I mean, sure. I can stop by your apartment to pick up my book.”

An awaited smile and sense of agreement washes over you.

Peter then leads the way as you walked behind him, maintaining a short distance so people would not throw out any suspicious looks. Like in every college, everyone knows just how fast gossips formulate and rumors spread.

If you think about it though, it might avert anyone’s suspicion – mainly pertaining to your creepy stalker – with you and your Professor. But you were not prepared for that yet, maybe some time when you can finally think about its consequences through.

True to his word, as the both of you exited the campus, it took a short time before the boy in front of you told that you were about to enter through the entrance to the building of his apartment. You were not so sure if it was really a momentary walk or because you were so focused on thinking and keeping a distance.

At some points he did often look back in case you got lost from following him. Plus, like always, he asked you simple questions either about your day or your subjects to make small talk. In which case, you were barely answering him but definitely progressed compared to when he attempted for previous times during class.

In addition, as the two of you walked down the block, the number of faces you could only assume was in college decreased. Meaning that the glares at you eased up.

“Well, here’s my location.” A loud huff follows as he uses a key to unlock the door for the entrance to the building, “It wasn’t that far, was it?”

“Yeah, I guess it wasn’t that far.” You agree as he holds the door for you and then walks right after you.

As Peter leads you upstairs onto around the fourth level, he proceeds to walk along the corridors. The array of same beige colored doors with small golden indents of unit numbers paraded along it too. Eventually he stops and inserts a key into the lock, twisting it until hearing the unlocking sound.

For a moment you hesitated to follow him. You just wanted your book and you were sure he can give it to you on a shorter span than your walk from campus to here. Was it that troublesome?

Entering his complex, you discovered how minimalistic it looked. To be fair it seemed quite small, the living room instantly greeting you through the entrance and a kitchenette at the side. But since his things were tidied up, it looked roomy.

You instinctively close the door behind you, slightly aware that it did not create a locking sound. Following Peter, you took a few more steps until you stood still at the passageway between his living room and entryway.

“Do you want a drink?” Peter asks.

“No thank you.” You were still trying to subtle. “I just want my Physics book, Peter. Please?”

He looked at you and paused for a split second. You could feel the frown behind the expressionless look. “Yeah. Okay. Sure,” he nods for a few times before turning around and proceeding to a seemingly narrow hallway. “I’ll get it in my room. Be back in a second.”

Your feet faintly paced back and forth, still where you stood a few meters between the entrance and living room. After a few more minutes, Peter emerges carrying the familiar book with one hand.

He approaches you within a few stops but stops in his tracks, leaving a distance from you. “Well uh,” he starts as his chin was tucked.

“I just want to tell you something before I hand you back your book.” He looks up at you with really pleading eyes. During other instances in university, you were definitely familiar with that look. However, this one probably ranked as one of the most downhearted ones.

You did not want to feel regretful for him. Though it definitely feels like you just kicked a puppy.

“Was is it?”

“I love you,” he blurts out as his face goes back from hiding and looking down.

It seemed awkward. You were somewhat expecting it, but you were also hoping that this day would not come – or not at least until you graduate and leave the university.

“Oh.” You honestly did not want to react.

Were you going to say sorry? How about thank you? Would it be better if you said you did not like him back? Or will the best response be that you are already taken?

“Peter, I–”

“Are you really dating Eric?” He shots up with eyes appearing almost teary.

What. The. Fuck.

“No,” you mutter. It was not much of an answer to his question. It was more on being quite horrified as your mind started jumping to conclusions.

The amount of things running around your mind right now was immeasurable.

Firstly, anyone could make two and two out of what he said, especially knowing that no one knows it even so around your circle of friends.

Secondly, you should have thought better. Your doubts with Peter should have been grater and you totally underestimated him. However, some part of you prayed that he was just an annoyingly awkward nerd who follows his friends regarding flirting tips.

Lastly, you turned around and ran.

You probably got your way with opening the door and taking two steps out. It was not long before you felt arms wrap around your waist and either side of your arms. You were then lifted and pulled behind while you tried to kick at the air as an escape. Did not work though.

Peter was surprisingly stronger than you thought. He already seemed fairly muscular at class, hiding behind those long sleeved sweaters and flannels.

Eventually the last thing you remember was the image of the door of his apartment open while you get sucked into the room further. Everything went black afterwards.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．

When you felt that you were slowly restoring to consciousness, you were aware of the pounding at the back of your head and your arms.

You tried to move your hands, wanting to press against the parts of your body that were aching. But you felt incapacitated as your wriggled your wrists around and felt an unfamiliar sticky fluid enveloping around them.

“Glad you’re awake,” a voice says. “Does your head hurt?”

You tried to open your eyes, the dark lighting of the room not cooperating with your vision. A light from the window and a lamp were the only things that helped you form something out of the void.

From there you saw Peter Parker sitting closely beside you at the edge of the bed.

Hell please let this be a nightmare.

“What–” You groan, “What do you want from me.”

Your mind was building up your anger yet your body says otherwise. You felt exhausted and heavy.

Peter shushed you in a caring manner, “We’ll talk when you feel better. I’ll let you get more rest okay, sweetie?”

“Uhh.”

That was what you could remember the most. If you have awoken for other times in between your sleep, then you surely did not have an idea of it.

When you finally woke up, the level of your grogginess felt little to none already. You looked around and saw that the room was still dark and seemingly still nighttime.

As your head was twisting from side to side, you saw Peter appear from the doorway carrying a translucent cup filled with water in one hand. “Hey, you’re finally awake.”

Instead of replying to him, your wrists writhe beneath the fluid that you are still not familiar of. You could not really look up to get a good view of what it was, but it was wet, sticky, and felt like super glue.

On the other hand, both your legs, ankles, and feet were free. The back of your thighs bounced against the bed as you struggled, but it would not do much since your arms were practically stuck.

“Fuck,” you grumble.

“That won’t help. You’re pretty much stuck there,” he says, Then he takes a seat at the edge of the bed, alike where you remembered him positioned from earlier, “Might as well talk to me until I let you go.”

“Okay then, when will you let me go?” Your voice was calm hoping you could talk your way out of this mess.

“If you behave for me like a good girl, okay?”

Shivers went up your spine as you cringed at his statement.

Immediately, your mood shifts from calm to furious after hearing his disturbing bargain. Then purposely rolling your eyes for him to see. “How the hell will I behave if you’re a creepy stalker! You disgust me!”

Peter hums, displaying a look wherein he seems like he was thinking. You were not sure if it was sarcastic or not, either way it annoyed the hell out of you. “Creepy stalker sounds overstated, it was more on being curious.”

You scoff as well as exclaim, “You sent me photographs of me and Eric at his house! Fucking hell, Peter.”

“Oh yeah that part.” He slyly pouts his lips to the side as he comes to realize what he had done, “I guess it was a bit creepy–” “What do you mean a bit? That was invasion of privacy!”

Despite being trapped, both your hands balled into a fist, feeling very furious at his dense answers. “I was living my own life! I kept my relationships to myself,” you cry out.

“Yes, but you weren’t completely living your life,” he whispers while gently combing his hair through the front of your hair. “You deserve much more than someone who couldn’t proudly tell that you’re his girl. Is he even a man? Do you really enjoy that kind of life, sweetie?”

“We were happy,” you weep. The evident crack on your voice was a signal that you were about to cry though you were not sure if it was because you were held hostage or because you were worried for Eric.

No one would understand your situation with him right now. Especially Peter.

“Trust me you weren’t,” he scoffs. “You deserve so much more, and I can give you that.”

“I’d rather be alone forever than be with you, asshole!” Your voice was inconsistent, clearly affected by how fast Peter’s mood also shifts quickly.

You also figured you were not looking entirely fresh while crumbling beneath him. Drops of tears and sweat were all over your face and neck, both your eyelids felt swollen, and your nose was almost stuffed.

Peter stand from the edge of the bed and advances to his desk from the side. A harsh bang echoed throughout the room as your body twitched out of shock.

“What does that dick have that I don’t?!” He grits his teeth as the curves of his jaw intensifies. A displeased look was written all over his face.

“P-please let me go.”

“I need you to answer, sweetie. We going nowhere unless you answer!” He was never going to let you go if you were not going to cooperate.

Every step he takes closer back to the bed just increases your heart beat further. He had rolled the sleeves of his sweater up to the edge of his elbows and you felt threatened looking at how firm his arms looked.

“Peter, p-please,” you hiccup.

As Peter returns to the edge of the bed, he does not hesitate anymore to keep a distance. His hands hover to either sides over your body and sets the left side of his head on your midriff, laying while also getting a good view of your vulnerable state.

He does not even look life he was struggling to make an effort to keep you down, but you could feel how heavy he was and was barely giving you a chance to move around.

“I can give you so much more, Y/N.” The way his gaze directs at you was definitely one of the creepiest things you have experienced. He had so much emotions yet completely lacked sympathy for your state of mind.

Shutting your eyes, you only cried further. You felt a hand cup one of your cheeks as its thumb wipes away the pouring tears. Like a broken record, you only pleaded more, “Please let me go.”

“I can’t.”

“Why.” You bawled, realizing he has no plans of releasing you anytime soon despite it. “I won’t tell anyone about this, I p-promise.”

“I know that,” he says, “but you’re going to run back to Eric, probably tell him too, right?”

You did not want to answer, merely shaking your head as you resisted a cry from your lips. It was somewhat what you had planned, but now you were just scared shitless.

“You won’t tell anyone but him cause no one knows about it other than you two, right?” He corners your words.

“Eric would lose his job if someone, especially your parents find out, right?” Hell he was correct. He most likely had been stalking you for so long to find out about it.

“You love him so much, you wouldn’t want to hinde

It was terrifying that someone had been learning about you and your life for a while without your awareness.

“Please stop. What do you want... money?” you whimper.

Peter did not seem likes normal college boy; he does not think like one, too, for sure. Anyone with a right mind would not do something like what he did. No one would have the guts to do so.

“I just want you, Y/N. I want to give you what you deserve,” Peter answers as he sits up and leans his face closer to yours. His mouth leaves a small gap from your right ear as he whispers, “Let me make you feel good.”

“No–”

He cuts off your plea with a proposition, “If you let me, I might consider letting you free.”

“You want that, right? Want me to let you go...” His hand combs through the other side of your face, “just let me show you that I can do way better than him.”

Every ounce of your blood was trying not to give in. You were smart, you ought to find a way out of this. However, you realized that it will not be enough. You already struggled so much from the super glue around your wrists and you could not imagine how much more would it take now that Peter was on top of you.

Eventually you stopped struggling and let him be. There was no way out of this than to let him do what he pleases.

You feel his lips press against your ear first and then progresses over your cheek. His grip around your arms loosen after detecting that you stopped struggling beneath him. You could feel him smile on your skin, “That’s it, relax for me. Good girl.”

His hand reaches to undo your pants as his lips drifted on yours to force their way on making out with you. Another hand then presses under your jaw and throat. “P-Peter,” you choke, feeling lightheaded after being unable to breath properly though your mouth until the grip had loosen.

“Sorry, babe.”

He soon descends from your face to your neck and collar region. You were so sure he was leaving marks on you as you felt him suck and nibble against your skin. Like a controlling asshole he was, you expect to see bruises on your skin by tomorrow.

Despite having your hands fastened, he still moves your shirt upwards past your head. It halts and hands loosely around your arms as you emerge topless beneath the boy.

“Fucking beautiful,” Peter compliments your body under his breath.

Although he seemed to have time on his hands, he does not leave a second wasted. He also goes to haul your pants past your legs and ankles. The growing look of impatience on his face says it all.

Peter moves from your side and welcomes himself between your legs. He spreads them out to have enough space for his body and you could not feel more embarrassed than this.

You grit your teeth over each other as you felt him press fingers against your cunt. Instinctively, you clench around nothing as he continues to play with your entrance, making sure you get entirely soaked under his touch.

“You know you shouldn’t hold back. I know you’re loving it so far, your body says otherwise,” he teases before laying on his stomach and moving his head closer to your pussy.

Without a warning, he licks a strip of you making the back of your thighs quake lightly. Peter senses your reaction and continues to do so, using his tongue to play around and poke inside of you until you were slowly giving in without even realizing it.

Just as you thought you were getting used to his actions, he then inserts fingers inside you, feeling your warmth around it as he pushes it in and out.

“Oh,” you moan.

He continues, making sure he also does not leave your bud of nerves behind. The tip of his fingers and tongue alternate on playing against it, making you throw back your head out of pleasure.

“I bet he doesn’t please you like this,” he scoffs.

Eventually, at your vulnerable state, you could already feel yourself closing to an orgasm. Your toes curled as your temples throbbed, sealing your eyes shut as you accepted on giving in.

You bit onto your lower lip, trying to resist a moan. Somewhere inside you, you were still trying to fight back and not let Peter have the satisfaction he had been craving.

“You’re being so tight... Just let it out.” He coaxes and you hate how you did what he told you so.

The extensive grin on his face seemed priceless. He pulled back and you were aware that you seemed exhausted beneath him. You assumed he was done with whatever he wanted to do with you.

But when he started to take off his sweater and unbutton his pants, you realized it was far from over.

As he presents himself just as naked in front of you, he again welcomes himself between your legs. This time you get a better view of him and his muscles and abs. He gets a good view of your body too for sure as his hand reaches to start stroking his dick.

He places one hand on your thigh and pushes it farther to give him more room. Finally, he inserts in inside you and you automatically felt him throbbing between.

There was a growing heat between the both of you, and it only intensified as Peter started to thrust his hips forward and backwards. There was not even a rhythm from him as he moves harder after hearing you softly moan underneath.

The slapping sound echoes through the room that would eventually reek of sex and you felt ashamed that your body was enjoying all of this.

“Ah… ah… ahh… agh….”

“You’re starting to enjoy this, aren’t you?” He brags as one hand was reaching for your breasts while the other holds your thigh up. “Fucking slut.”

Your body and mind were tired and could only hold so much longer. It was not a surprise when your stomach started to churn your the muscles in your thighs were cramping up.

Peter did no help after seeing you starting to wear out. He tried leaning in to make out with you and expect to moan into his mouth. You did for a moment, a combination of both your drools were streaming down from the corner of your mouth.

“We’re making a mess, huh,” he mumbles. “But I know you’re already a dirty fucking girl.”

He proceeds to deprave you with statements, “Can’t believe you’re enjoying my cock better than that old man’s... Such a fucking whore.”

You twist your head aside, trying to hide the fact that you feel like your temperature were burning up. You were so sure he could feel the increasing warmth of your walls either way.

Your eyes were rolling back as you resist arching your back, which was not really a success as the amount of pleasure was overwhelming.

As you writhe beneath him, you felt a hand on your cheek. It pushes your head back onto looking at front and at Peter. “I want you t look at me when you’re going to cum, sweetie,” he orders and you could not do much anyways.

The second time you came was a whole other level. You never felt this with any person you slept with so far, rather not this fast and intense to say. “That’s it, fuck, you’re tighter than I could ever imagine.”

Peter continues until it was his time to cum. The bed continues to move along with his pace and your body was basically abused to his liking.

And even if you were not aware of it, the boy was practically thankful that his agency decided to agree to soundproofing his whole apartment – his motive being for personal reasons, which they did not question any time soon.

You were helpless, you knew that. All you had in mind now was rest. Your eyelids were heavy and your mind was drifting to slumber.

The last thing you remember was Peter moving over your body to come all around your chest like a painter with its paint brush creating a masterpiece from your chest to your core.

“I love you.”

a/n: ily pls leave comments <3

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tuanhood · 4 years ago

Text

alpha

pairing: frat!im jaebeom x reader

genre: lil bit of everything. lil smut, lil angst, maybe lots of fluff, established relationship

warnings: language, cringey frat stuff, public(??) fingering

word count: 4,200+

summary: your boyfriend’s frat doesn’t allow dating outside of greek life. hence the reason you two have had to sneak around for ten months... and hence the reason you’ve somehow found yourself stuck and hiding in a closet.

a/n: wow long time no see! sorry for the delay, I’m really busy/stressing about dissertation stuff lately so updates and writings aren’t going to be frequent. but I really wanted to write this for ya’ll real quick to have SOMETHING, but yeah it’s not edited and NOT very good bc of the quickness. But I hope ya’ll will forgive me :)

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When you woke up this morning, you really didn’t think you would end up in a closet at the Alpha Sigma Phi house.

The space is cramped, dark and a little smelly. Judging by the odor, you guessed that this was the closet that the boys in the house used to throw garbage in whenever they had to “clean” the house. Maybe this situation would have been a little bit better if you had been pushed into the closet that’s on the second floor – that way there would be less garbage and less boy smell. But who were you kidding? There would be a boy smell regardless.

In theory though you really shouldn’t be stuck in a closet at a frat house thinking about which closet you’d rather be in. What had your life become lately?

“Just a little bit longer, okay?” You heard Jaebeom utter through the door. It instinctively made you roll your eyes. The tone of his voice was so nonchalant, as if you weren’t stuck in a small space. But of course, he was on the other side of the door in fresh air, with as much space to roam around as he pleased – he didn’t understand “just a little bit longer” was triggering.

As much as you lo- liked Jaebeom… you weren’t sure if you would be able to hide in small spaces for the entirety of your relationship.

Babe it’s not for our entire relationship… Just until we graduate.

When he had first said that you didn’t really think about the bigger picture. All you had thought about was how happy he made you and how much you loved being with him. And that was the most important thing to you. But lately the sneaking around and the hiding had been a little too much for you – you weren’t sure if you could keep it up for another year… It had already been 10 months and you were at your wits end. Every time you wanted to sit down to have the conversation with Jaebeom – the one where you tell him it’s either the end of hiding or the end of your relationship – he’d give you those eyes, that smile and it would be completely wiped from your thoughts.

Damn Im Jaebeom. You think you fucking love him.

“Jae…” you grumbled, hitting your head against the door a bit. It had already been what… a half hour?

You heard him shush you and another voice emerged from the other side of the door. “Hey man, any particular reason you’ve been standing here?” Jaebeom’s nervous laughter is a giveaway, you just hope that Yugyeom doesn’t pick up on it. “No reason… just… like the space over here… It’s good party watching space.”

There’s silence and you pressed your ear up to the door further, hoping to hear something. You jumped back when you heard your boyfriend’s panicked voice, “what are you doing?”

Yugyeom snorted, “Dude chill… I’m just getting more cups from the closet.”

“Uh… Let me! I’ll get them!”

“What?”

“Yeah no worries dude, I didn’t really do anything to help prep for the party so I might as well get some fucking cups from the closet,” Jaebeom chuckled, his voice shifting to a more normal tone, “to be honest I didn’t really even know this was happening tonight… otherwise…” He drifted off, mumbling the last part to himself. You know he’s referencing the fact that the two of you thought the house would be empty – many of the guys typically going out to a local bar on Thursdays, but to your surprise as you crossed the main foyer in the house, the front door opened with most of the guys in the frat piling through. That led to your push into the closet.

“Yeah well… Red Room was closed because apparently they have a rat problem. I feel like that’s a bunch of bullshit. I mean we go there every week… we would have noticed if there was a rat problem.”

“Maybe they were just good at hiding it.”

There’s a lull in silence and Yugyeom clicked his tongue, as if he thinking deeply about something, “but I guess you wouldn’t know… You really don’t go out with us on Thursdays anymore…” As much as you liked the guys in Jaebeom’s frat – from stories you’d heard through your boyfriend of course – it seemed like they were often pretty slow when it came to certain things. If Yugyeom was starting to get skeptical and began piecing things together then surely the rest of the guys would too.

“Let me get you guys those cups.”

Taking a small step back, you turn to the shelf on your right, finding the red cups almost immediately through the dimmed closet. As the door cracks open slightly, your boyfriend’s long arm appears in the small space, gesturing around – clearly looking for the cups.

“Dude what are you doing?” Yugyeom asked.

“I know where the cups are so why should I go in all the way and get claustrophobic?” You have to cover your mouth to stop yourself from laughing at Jaebeom’s fake explanation.

Yes, because why would anyone ever want to be stuck inside of a closet? Rolling your eyes – happy he can’t see – you thrust the cups forward into his wandering hand. You swear you hear him grunt at your force.

The cups and his hand disappeared along with the small sliver of light that comes from the door being open. “Well… here you go… the cups you wanted.” There’s another pause and you wished you could see what was going on – to know if Yugyeom was buying how uncharacteristically strange Jaebeom was being or if he was still suspicious.

“You should leave your creepy party watching spot and actually join the fun, ya know? Some of the girls from Theta are going to be by soon and I know Amanda’s been asking a lot about you lately.”

Yugyeom’s mention of another girl makes your skin crawl and you’re almost ready to pounce out of the closet and call it a day, but instead you clenched your fists and waited to hear your boyfriend’s response.

“Nah man… I’m good.”

“Come on… how long has it been since you last had any action? I’m pretty sure Amanda would be down to hook up tonight.” Instinctively you felt your hand go to the doorknob, gripping it tightly.

To your dismay Jaebeom says nothing in response and your mind starts running wild thinking about possible nonverbal responses he could have communicated to Yugyeom – perhaps one of them being “yeah I’ll totally bang Amanda tonight.”

And you know what… maybe he should. Maybe it’d be better for him to be with someone he can actually walk around campus with. To be with someone he could actually introduce to his friends. You weren’t any of those things.

The circumstances of your relationship with Jaebeom had been complicated from the beginning. The two of you had met in a random general ed class you were both forced to take for a stupid credit. Never in your life did you think you were going to meet your next boyfriend in “Comparative Post-Communist Politics.” The two of you had the lowest scores in the class and found yourselves bonding over your almost failing midterm grades, but luckily the two of you had passed the course. Thank god for the grading curve.

It had started just that simply – two people who were “class friends.” Nothing more, nothing less. You’d sit next to each other every lecture and laugh over how dumb you both were, but never made efforts to hang out after class or even study together in preparation for exams. It wasn’t until the final day of class that Jaebeom had asked you to get drinks. His request shocked you as you had figured that just like most “class friends” you two would part ways and never see each other again except for the occasional pass by on campus where each of you would squint and wonder how do I know that person? Were they in that one class I took that one time?

You were perhaps even more shocked when you agreed to go.

From then on, the two of you talked about things besides class and got to know each other on a more personal level. You had already known some very basic things about him – such as his affiliation with the Greek system – but soon enough Jaebeom was pouring his heart out to you, and you to him. Both of you admitted that you had never felt this comfortable with someone before.

It was probably you fifth- or sixth-time getting drinks at a secluded place downtown when Jaebeom revealed to you how much he liked you. You felt your heart leap out of your chest and just as you were about to reveal your own confession, he hit you with a “but…”

“but… I can’t technically date you. My frat’s chapter is really strict about dating outside of Greek life. When I was a pledge, they told me that they’ve kicked guys out for going out with girls who aren’t affiliated.”

In any other situation you would have gotten up and said “no thank you” to whoever the guy was, not wanting to waste your time on anything or anyone who prioritized some stupid brotherhood over their feelings for you. But this was Jaebeom… The Jaebeom that you had grown close to over such a short period of time and had told you how much Alpha Sigma Phi meant to him. He had grown up an only child and spent much of his younger years feeling lonely, which was what made him want to rush the frat. He wanted the close experience and to have strong loyalty and ties with the other members – just like with real brothers.

“We can make it work. I really like you too Jaebeom… I’m willing to try this and figure something out…”

At the time… you weren’t sure what “figure something out” really meant – especially since you weren’t supposed to be seen together by literally anyone. Most people on campus knew someone who knew someone that was in Alpha Sig and if anyone saw the two of you together, you’d risk it getting back to the guys at the house. Which was why for 10 months the two of you had been dating in secret – him coming over to yours almost every night and you sneaking over to the house every Thursday when the guys were usually gone until the early hours.

You felt like you were fighting back tears at the thought of Jaebeom with someone else, but maybe it was what was right. You deserved to not be a secret forever – you were in a closet for godssake – and Jaebeom deserved to be with the perfect sorority girl that he could take wherever he wanted without the risk of getting kicked out of his second home. Tightly shutting your eyes, you attempted to stop yourself from crying, but somehow it makes it worse with the first drop rolling down your cheek slowly.

“Baby? Are you crying?”

It’s then that you realized the door had been cracked open once again, Jaebeom looking behind him before slipping in with you, shutting the door tightly. It occurred to you how pathetic you must look, crying in a dim, cramped closet at a frat house.

Quickly, you tried to wipe the tears of your cheek and hiccupped slightly, “N-no I’m not crying. It’s just my allergies with all the dust in here.”

“You don’t have allergies…” He positioned himself closer to you, bringing his own hand up to your face to rest it on your cheek, feeling the wet trails your tears had left behind, “what’s wrong?” Biting your lip, you don’t say anything in the hopes that he’ll drop the subject. Jaebeom knows you well enough to know when you want to move on and not address a topic, but this time he can’t find it in himself to just let it go.

“Y/N tell me.”

The way his thumb continued to gently caress your cheek back in forth, makes you want to close your eyes and pretend you’re anywhere else besides here in this closet having this conversation. You’d rather be with your boyfriend in a place far away from here where you don’t have to hide and you don’t have to worry about perceptions.

“I was just thinking about what Yugyeom said about the girl from Theta.”

“Baby… I would never go behind your back and do something with her-”

You sighed deeply and felt your stomach drop as you kept wedging your way further and further into the conversation you had once been wanting to have. Not seeing his sparkling eyes and that look in bright light made the words somewhat easier to get out. “I know you would never do that… I just think sometimes maybe it’s best if you had someone you could actually be seen with.”

Jaebeom doesn’t say anything, because it’s at that moment he feels his own stomach churn and feel sick. Making out your saddened face in the dark closet and listening to your words he realizes what he’s done. The way you had said “if you had someone you could actually be seen with” as if there was something wrong with you. As if you were less then. He wanted to kick himself for making you feel like that when it was in fact his fault and his own issues that stopped the two of you from being together publicly. Was brotherhood really so important to him when he was at risk of losing the person he loves?

Loves.

Reality hit him again.

“No,” Jaebeom finally said shaking his head, “I don’t want anyone else. I only want you and I’m sorry for making you feel like this. You’ve been so willing to hide this just because I’m a fucking idiot… because you understand how much this all meant to me.”

“Meant?”

He delicately brings his hands to rest at your waist, leaning close enough forward until you can feel his breath on your face, “I have something in my life that’s more important than getting kicked out of a stupid frat. I-I love you Y/N.”

You don’t answer him for a moment and he feels like he’s going to collapse at first from your lack of response. He wonders if maybe he had read the last 10-months completely wrong or if you had finally had enough with his bullshit and he was just too late. Jaebeom feels all of these worries and doubts fade away when you lean forward to press your lips against his. “I love you too,” you mumbled against his lips and you felt your boyfriend smile, his grip tightening on your waist and bringing you even closer to his body until you’re flush against one another.

You felt one of his hands drift down from your waist to the hem of your skirt, slowly caressing your thigh and slipping itself underneath the material until it’s hitched up above his hand. Removing yourself from his lips, you let out a lustful sigh to let him know how much you want him to do what he’s thinking about doing. As he rests his forehead against yours, he looks down between your two bodies, his hand going to your panties, gently playing with the waistband – snapping it back and forth gently to tease you.

“Do you want me to take back that I love you?” You asked playfully.

Jaebeom laughed, “you wouldn’t dare.”

Just as you’re about to respond with a bratty “try me,” you feel him dip his hand underneath the now damp material. He smiled at your caught off guard reaction. His fingers brushed your core, his index finger moving along your slit as he gathered your juices on his finger before he brought it to his lips and sucked them gently. You watched him in the dim light and felt yourself somehow grow more wet than before. He moved his fingers back down, his thumb pressing up against your clit and you felt yourself suck in a breath at the feeling, before two of his digits pushed into your completely. With the small amount of space, you had, you lifted your hips in an effort to get more of him inside of you and he chuckled at the action.

“We have all night baby girl, don’t worry. I take care of you, always.”

You exhaled at the feeling of his thumb massaging your clit and his fingers began to pump into you at a slow rhythmic pace. He watched you for a moment wondering how he got so lucky before returning his lips back to yours.

A groan arose in your throat and against Jaebeom’s lips as he curled his middle finger into you, hitting that spot that always made you so weak and you feel your thighs begin to twitch as you near your high. Sometimes it amazed you how quick he could make you reach your release, but he already knew everything else about you so well it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he would excel at this as well.

When he picked up the pace of his fingers fucking into you, continuing to hit your g-spot each time, you felt yourself quickly come apart and your walls clench around his fingers tightly. You dropped your head down to his shoulder and felt like there wasn’t any breath left in your body as you rode out the waves of your orgasm, Jaebeom making sure not to overstimulate you and slowing his fingers down. When he finally removes his hand from you, you feel so empty almost like your body just wants to be that close to him all the time – not even in a sexual way.

When you finally feel strong enough, you bring your head off of Jaebeom’s shoulder and wrap your hands around his neck tightly, bringing him in for another kiss.

“I love you.”

“I love you too. I never want to stop saying it and I never want to stop hearing it.”

With arms still around his neck, you gently play with the hair at his nape. You feel happier than you’ve felt in a long time – which was saying something considering how happy your boyfriend had made you the past 10 months.

“Should we get out of this closet?” Jaebeom asked with shut eyes, feeling relaxed every time he’s under your touch.

“Now? You want everyone to see us now?”

He shrugged, “They’re going to find out either way so might as well just do it now. I just hope they give me time to get my stuff before they kick me out.” You feel yourself frown at his candor and the thought of Jaebeom losing the sense of belonging he had gained from being in Alpha Sig, but you remember his previous assurances. You had one another and everything was going to be fine.

Just as you’re about to respond to him, you’re interrupted by a sudden emergence of light into the closet signaling the opening of the door. You and Jaebeom both freeze when you see Yugyeom and some of the other brothers behind him.

“Can you two just come out already?”

It’s almost as though both you and your boyfriend had forgotten all of your words. Instead you stare at one another with wide eyes.

“We’re tired of all this waiting. Just come out and introduce us to your girlfriend already man,” Yugyeom whined.

This was embarrassing. Had they been… listening?

“Listen ‘Gyeom I know you chose today’s date in the pool, but that doesn’t mean you win the bet,” one of the guys from behind him said.

Yugyeom lets out a large groan and turns to the member, “what? Why not? I chose today and he was going to do it today! I swear!”

“Yeah but you ruined it by opening the door! You pretty much made the whole thing void… Haven’t you heard of like… not ruining the controlled variable in the experiment or whatever the fuck?”

“The controlled variable was the door? That doesn’t make sense. You’re as dumb as a bag of bones dude,” Yugyeom snorted, turning back to you and Jaebeom. It’s then that you feel relief as Jaebeom finally cleared his throat to say something to the many pairs of eyes fixated on you both, “can you guys please explain to me what’s going on here?”

Yugyeom rolled his eyes at Jaebeom as if it was the most obvious thing in the world to understand, “we had a bet going for when you would finally tell us about your secret girlfriend… Who to be honest isn’t really a secret. I sit next to Y/N’s friend in Econ… class friends ya know.”

You felt your mouth go dry. If they knew about Jaebeom dating an unaffiliated girl this entire time why did they let it play out for so long? Why didn’t they say something to him and make him break up with you or kick him out of the frat? Were they trying to torture the two of you for the longest amount of time possible?

It’s then when you really take in each member of Alpha Sig’s face and you see no malice or disgust at the fact that you’re not a non-affiliate. They almost seemed… happy.

You felt Jaebeom take his head into yours and he sighs once more before looking back to the guys, “listen… Y/N is my girlfriend and has been for the last 10 months… I’ve put her through so much shit and made her sneak around which she did willingly because of how amazing she is. I’ve never felt so loved and cared for by someone before and I can’t put her through more shit that’s going to make her feel less then she is. I love her and I’m sorry you guys can’t accept that. I can be out of here by tomorrow.”

As Jaebeom goes to move the two of you out of the closet, Yugyeom places his hand up causing you both to stop in your tracks.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

Jaebeom looks to you and then back to Yugyeom, “the rule… that we’re not allowed to date anyone who’s not affiliated. When we were pledges they told us they’ve kicked guys out for breaking the rule… remember?”

The boys in front of Jaebeom all look at him blankly until Yugyeom begins to laugh, the rest of the guys following him until you have approximately 6 frat guys laughing in your faces. Looking at your boyfriend his eyebrows are furrowed. You can’t tell if he’s confused at their reaction or annoyed.

It takes a moment for Yugyeom and the boys to finally stop laughing, “Jae… are you joking? Is that why you haven’t introduced her to us? Because of that stupid rule?”

“Yeah…”

Coming closer, Yugyeom placed his hand on Jaebeom’s shoulder, “Dude… that rule is not real. They’ve never kicked anyone out over dating someone who’s unaffiliated. Sure, the upperclassmen then didn’t want us to date someone not in an org, but they would have never made us leave… That kinda goes against the whole brotherhood thing. Besides, now we’re the upperclassmen and we just care that we’re all happy. You included.”

You felt like you could run a marathon at the amount of energy and feelings coursing through your body. You wanted to hug all of the semi-strangers in front of you, but also you wanted to hit Jaebeom for thinking that rule was a real thing when it was in fact… apparently not. In the back of your head, you make a mental note to lecture him on next time it never hurts to ask questions before you get into a secret 10-month relationship that might not need to be a secret.

“Thanks guys,” Jaebeom smiled at his brothers, with his hand still holding onto yours, caressing your smooth skin with his thumb.

“Now let’s continue this party, shall we?” Yugyeom yelled loudly as the rest of the guys cheer back in response, most of them heading back to the main living space until it’s just you, Jaebeom and Yugyeom.

The younger boy shakes his head, “I still can’t believe you were in that closet the entire time… which reminds me. I am never going in there again after the actions that occurred in there,” you felt your face grow hot at his admittance that he had heard or at least knew what had happened in the closest just moments before his grand entrance.

“I still can’t believe you knew the entire time and didn’t say anything!” You whined.

“I was expecting you to jump out as soon as I mentioned Amanda… That’s why I brought it up. Which by the way man,” Yugyeom turned to Jaebeom, “none of the girls at Theta give a shit about you.”

“That’s totally okay. There’s only one girl I want to give a shit about me,” Jaebeom smiled proudly placing his arm around you in front of Yugyeom and everyone else at the party. He relishes in how comfortable it feels to finally be like this with you in front of some of the most important people in his life. Besides you of course.

You hummed in delight and nuzzled your head against his arm, into his shoulder, “She doesn’t just give a shit about you. She kind of loves you too.”

“Just kind of?”

“Nah with her full heart.”

#got7 fanfic #got7 smut #got7 #jaebeom #jaebeom fanfic

207 notes · View notes

neocityarchive · 5 years ago

Text

blind love | l.m.k.

— in which mark lee is so much more than just your best friend but you were too blind to realize it.

word count: 7.2k | warnings: light swearing | blind love - lola young |

a/n: i didnt mean for it to be this long but i hope you enjoy!!!

“Just friends,” Mark said, his voice still steady even in the growing tension of the moment. “That’s all you said we are, right?”

Your head dropped down to look at your hands, not knowing what to say. The overbearing guilt of rejecting his sudden confession was crushing your chest that it became painful to breathe.

“I’m sorry, Mark,” was all you could say. You forced yourself to meet his gaze through your already glassy eyes, wanting to let him know the sincerity of your words.

He smiled kindly, shaking his head. There was sadness in his eyes. And in all the years you two have known each other, you could tell how hard he was trying to hide it. “It’s okay. That’s all we’ll be.”

You bumped your head repeatedly against your study table in an attempt to rid yourself of the memory that’s constantly been playing in your head.

It was a Sunday which meant there were no classes, which meant the university was closed, which meant that you couldn’t even make an excuse to see your best friend Mark who somehow, after almost three years of friendship, suddenly decided that it was a good idea to tell you he loves you more than a friend should love a friend.

You couldn’t say it happened out of nowhere. He’s been saying he has something important to tell you for almost two weeks before the incident but every time you confront him about it, he always makes up some lame excuse to dodge. It took a lot of self-hate for yourself and a nice amount of his protective instinct to finally make him spit it out.

He came to your apartment that night, finding you barefaced, wearing a pair of sweats and one of his hoodies that you stole some time ago. From that he already knew you weren’t okay. You like wearing his stuff to seek some sort of comfort. Somehow, the smell of his clothes helps calm you down.

You were supposed to help him finish a report but you couldn’t concentrate after getting a below satisfactory grade on a major exam. College has done nothing but give you a shitload of insecurities lately and this just pushed you off the edge. The only thing that has been keeping you sane was the knowledge that you had someone who you can run to at the end of the day. Someone who is willing to listen to your rants and would do almost anything to cheer you up.

That day, however, none of Mark’s usual encouragement worked on you. He was getting frustrated hearing you downplay yourself because of a single exam. You started going on about how stupid you felt, how staying up all night to study did nothing but make you ugly. Mark countered every insult you threw at yourself, throwing in a few jokes here and there, all of which you ignored. But when you went on about how all of this made you unworthy of anything, how no one could possibly love you in this state, he just couldn’t take it anymore.

“I love you,” he snapped, cutting you off from your long self-deprecating speech.

“You’re my best friend. You’re supposed to say that,” you whined, clearly missing the point.

Mark, on the other hand, was barely holding it all inside. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. “No, idiot. I love you. Stop saying no one could love you, because I do. And not just because you’re my best friend.”

It wasn’t until you noticed his hands were quivering that you realized what he really meant. Looking back on it, you couldn’t help but hate yourself. You were sure it took a lot of his courage (and frustration) to come clean to you like that, and you couldn’t even take him seriously at first.

“Mark, no,” you remember telling him.

“I do. I hate that I do, but I do.” He looked away. “I love you and I know you’re feeling burdened right now, but you don’t have to say it back.”

A part of you broke that day. You hated rejecting people after having gone through several rejections yourself. It’s the worst feeling. You always wished there was a way you could always return people’s feelings just so no one would get hurt, but the universe just doesn’t work that way.

You muttered about a hundred sorries to which Mark replied a hundred ‘it’s okay’s. Maybe it was meant to make you feel better, but it just felt like your heart was getting ripped off your chest.

Mark didn’t stay long after that. You didn’t even get to help him with his report. He said sorry for suddenly dropping the L-word and you said sorry for not being able to say it back. He smiled sadly and it took your everything not to cry. He asked if he could hug you and you didn’t even answer. You just went straight into his arms, burying your head in his chest like you’ve done so many times before, breathing heavily to keep yourself from breaking down. And when the two of you pulled away, he insisted on being alone for a while. You said okay followed by another sorry.

You didn’t know “being alone for a while” meant ignoring you for god knows how long. You see him at uni but he wouldn’t even meet your eye. Even when you share the same class, he would choose to sit as far from you as possible. Once, he entered a cafe you were in and upon seeing you inside, he immediately turned around and walked away.

He’s ignoring you and he isn’t even being subtle about it. Mark Lee could never be subtle about anything, not even his feelings. You really were just too blind to realize anything.

Even other people saw how he felt. People used to come up to you all the time and ask about your “boyfriend” Mark. Sure, you would blush, shy that people thought you’re in a relationship with your best friend. When you explain that you weren’t actually dating, you would get the same shocked reaction every time. One of your friends even said you acted more like a couple than most people in a relationship do. You always thought it was just because you and Mark were such good friends.

“Friends don’t hold hands in public,” you remember Renjun saying.

“We don’t hold hands. He just grabs me and drags me to places,” you said defensively.

“And they don’t hug each other and stare at each other’s eyes while talking about pizza,” Jaemin scoffed.

You just rolled your eyes at them. It never crossed your mind that maybe they were right. You and Mark have never acted like how friends should. Maybe it’s the reason why you’re in this mess after all.

You sighed to yourself. You miss him. You can’t even pretend that you don’t. He’s become such a huge part of your everyday life that you couldn’t just ignore the sudden empty space he left when he said he wanted to be alone. You know he needed time to be by himself. But a part of you keeps holding on to his promise that even after his confession, you two would still be friends. And friends text each other, right? So all your attempts at communication depended on just that.

Thursday, 5:31 PM

You: wanna go watch a movie? i’ll buy the tickets.

Mark: cant. i have an exam tomorrow. sorry :/ maybe next time?

You: oh. okay. goodluck on your exam :)

Friday, 2:21 AM

You: [photo] this is possibly the cutest cat photo i’ve seen in awhile

Mark: that’s cute but dogs are still cuter

You: … okay?

Mark: go to sleep, y/n

Friday, 12:03 PM

You: i know you dont have class rn. have lunch w me?

Mark: oh i already ate with jaemin. sorry!!

You: it’s okayyyy :>> i’ll see u later? it’s friday night sooo we can hang out.

Mark: idk the boys already asked me to go out tonight

You: oh okay have fun!

Saturday, 6:54 PM

You: maaaark

Mark: y/nnn

You: [types] i miss you kajdhfhdksjdh [deletes]

You: nothing haha wanna grab some coffee?

Saturday, 7:01 PM

You: nvm haha have a nice nighhhttt

Sunday, 10:21 PM

You: hey can we talk

Mark: ???

You: please?

Mark: ye what about?

You: you said we’d still be friends

Mark: lol aren’t we?

You: this isn’t how friends talk to each other. i miss having an actual conversation with you.

You: we dont even see each other anymore.

Mark: i literally reply more to u than i do to jaem wdym haha

You: wow fine okay

Mark: ?????

You: i guess i deserve that haha

Mark: im tired y/n. night.

You: :( nighttt

You checked your messages for the nth time, reading everything as if something was gonna miraculously change with the cold conversation thread. Your fingers have been hovering over the keypad, typing and deleting ‘i miss you’ and ‘talk to me’ for about a hundred times already.

You don’t get why you can’t just say it. What’s so wrong with telling your best friend you miss him? Why is it so hard to press send? Why are you suddenly so afraid of how he would reply or if he would even reply at all?

It was only 10:30 in the evening. You know for sure Mark is only lying about going to sleep. He never sleeps this early unless he really is tired. He does nothing on Sundays so he can’t possibly be tired. Sundays are usually just the two of you hanging out in his apartment or yours, just to watch movies or study together. So what did he do today?

“Stop thinking about him,” you grumbled to yourself. “It’s just Mark. He’s a big boy, he can handle himself.”

But that’s not the point, a voice inside your head said. Just tell him you miss him.

You typed it again, ‘I miss you,’ but deleted it as soon as it was finished. Again.

You’ve spent everyday with Mark that it suddenly hurts to think he’s enjoying the time you usually spend together alone. It’s crazy how you can’t stop thinking about how his day went or if he’s okay or whether he’s eaten or not. You know how stubborn he can be. Sometimes, he’d get so engulfed in whatever he’s doing that he would accidentally skip meals unless you remind him otherwise.

“Fuck this,” you muttered to yourself. You figured you won’t ever be left at peace if you don’t do anything about whatever you’re feeling, so you decided to text Jaemin.

Sunday, 10:52 PM

You: jaeeem hi :)

Jaemin: y/n!!!!! hello :>

You: sorry for bothering you but have you talked to mark lately?

Jaemin: im talking to him rn haha why? you want me to ask him something?

You: not really hahaha how is he?

Jaemin: haha why not ask him yourself

You: he doesnt wanna talk to me lol pls just answer

Jaemin: he’s stubborn as always. he wont listen to me.

You: why, what’s he doing?

Jaemin: idk but it’s definitely not talking to you ksjdjkd

You: … very funny

Jaemin: sorry lmaooo he’s running on an hour or two of sleep everyday

You: jaemin!! why won’t you scold him?

Jaemin: we do! he just doesn’t listen. u know he only listens to you.

Jaemin: idk why you guys still arent together lmao bunch of idiots tbh

You: we’re just friends

Jaemin: rlly? oh btw mark hyung is looking for his save the bees shirt. did u see it anywhere?

You: yeah he left it here like two weeks ago when he slept over

Jaemin: LMAOOO DOESNT SOUND LIKE FRIENDS TO ME CHIEF

You: i fckingskjfhfn hate you

Jaemin: HJSJSHHDJD ok but seriously tho mark hyung is fine. just give him time, he’ll come around.

Jaemin: he misses you but u didnt hear it from me

Jaemin: ok bye he’s getting suspicious now lol

You: idk how you’re both an angel and the devil at the same time

You: anw thanks jaem. dont tell him i asked about him lol byeee

You sighed, putting your phone down in surrender. Your mind was more of a mess now than it was before you talked to Jaemin. You hate that he makes sense especially about the weird, more-than-friendly dynamics of your relationship with Mark. But more importantly, your head was beginning to be overfilled with worry.

Mark runs on barely two hours of sleep everyday. No wonder he always looks so out of it whenever you see him in the hallway. You wanted to call him, to tell him that he should sleep already, to remind him that he shouldn’t overwork himself, that doing just enough is okay. But you know he doesn’t want to talk to you. The cold replies and the ‘????’ were more than enough to tell you that.

Still, you figured it was worth a try sending him a little reminder. So you grabbed your phone once again and typed a message, revealing a little more of your emotions than you intended to. And before you could even think twice about it, you hit send.

Sunday, 11:04 PM

You: hey i know you’re still not asleep. dont worry, you dont have to reply to me. i just wanna tell you that you should take care of yourself. i know you. you’re stubborn and sometimes you won’t sleep or eat unless someone reminds you to so,, this is me reminding you haha. stop overworking yourself mark, please? you cant be sick cause i cant take care of you since you wont talk to me… lol jk. but seriously, get more rest (and talk to me,, hahah jk again unless u wanna ;)) please go to sleep now. goodnight. see you around i guess.

You stopped texting Mark after that. You wondered if he would find the initiative to talk to you first if you didn’t start the conversation. Now, two days have passed and your sleep reminder remains to be the last message on your conversation thread. You couldn’t say it didn’t hurt. You were hoping for at least a small thanks but didn’t get anything at all.

You were starting to get more and more frustrated as the days went by. It’s so unfair that you are slowly losing your best friend because of this. It’s unfair that you can’t even be mad at him because you just broke his heart. You wished there was any way you could have changed what happened, but the past remains to be written.

That afternoon, you passed by one of the cafes you and Mark always go to. You went inside, suddenly craving their special banana muffin which he introduced to you some months ago. The owner recognized you right away as you came up to the cashier.

“You’re not with your boyfriend today?” she asked.

You felt your heart skip a beat and not in a good way. It hurt. You figured there was no use in explaining since she probably won’t believe that Mark is not your boyfriend so you just smiled sadly and answered, “No.”

The lady somehow talked you into buying two muffins so you can bring one to your “boyfriend.” After handing her your payment, you realized maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea. Mark always brings you stuff whenever you’re mad or upset. He knows exactly what you’re craving for even before you knew you were craving for it. Why not try if it works on him?

As soon as you headed out the cafe, you whipped your phone out to text Jaemin, asking if he knew where Mark was. It’s Tuesday, his most free day of the week so he could be anywhere. Jaemin replied not after five minutes.

Jaemin: not sure but he mentioned something about the library??

You: okay thank you!

From that, you knew exactly where Mark is. There was a small patio-like spot beside the library that he likes going to. Not a lot of people utilize the place since the tables and chairs are almost always filled with dried fallen leaves from the surrounding trees but Mark likes the thought of being close to nature.

That day though, there were more people around the area than usual. It was lunchtime so most people were out of the classrooms. Still, it wasn’t hard spotting Mark. It has never been much of a challenge finding him in a crowd of people. You saw him as soon as he came into view, sitting by the table on the corner under one of the ginkgo trees. He had his laptop open and a box of food beside it. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration one moment and then he was laughing the next.

You were about to make your way towards him but immediately stopped in your tracks when you realized he wasn’t alone.

You didn’t know who the girl was. You’ve seen her a lot of times in class and in the hallway. You even have a vague memory of Mark talking to her one time. But you never really bothered to learn her name. She had that soft, innocent look that goes so well with her shy smile. She had her hair tucked in her ears to show just enough of her pretty face. She was beautiful. Unconventionally but undeniably. But none of that mattered.

When she said something with a smirk and Mark let out his trademark laugh, nose scrunching, hand repeatedly hitting the table, shoulders shaking and all, it felt like something punched you in the stomach. He uttered something in reply and now both of them are clutching their sides for laughing too hard.

He looks happy, you thought, I should be, too.

But you aren’t. You continued watching their exchange, him showing her something on his laptop and both of them laughing once again. Your chest felt heavy, like something was sitting on it and now it hurts to breathe. You didn’t realize you’ve been clutching the plastic bag containing the muffin too hard until you felt the sting of nails digging on your palms. You knew you should look away but you couldn’t. You wanted to run towards him. You wanted to tell the girl to scooch over so you can sit beside Mark and give him his muffin.

This is pathetic. I should be happy for him, you said to yourself. But why am I not?

You wanted to be angry, to scream and say that it should be you he’s laughing like that with. To say that it’s you he should be spending his time with. You wanted to ask if he still feels the way he said he does about you. And if he does, then why this? But you remained glued to the ground.

You hated how you were being selfish. You rejected him, remember? So why do you expect him to follow your tails like an intoxicated mad dog? Why can’t you be happy at the possibility that he found someone that feels the same way he does? Why does it… hurt? It’s not supposed to. If you really are friends, then him being happy with someone after your rejection should make you happy as well. If you really are friends, then you shouldn’t be standing here looking stupid, watching them from afar, wishing he’s with you instead.

“What are you looking at?”

You jumped at the sudden disruption, almost dropping your muffins. “What the hell, Jaemin?!” you whined, finally looking away from Mark.

“Mark hyung and Mina?” he snorted.

So that’s her name. “No,” you lied, forcing yourself to take a step away, then another, then another.

“Are you jealous?” Jaemin teased. “Have you finally realized you’re also whipped for our hyung?”

“No,” you grumbled.

“Then why are you almost crying?”

You blinked. You didn’t even realize the tears pooling in your eyes. Why are you being like this? “Shut up. I’m not.”

Jaemin only shrugged. “Fine. Torture yourself, then.” He smirked. “By the way, Jeno and I are inviting people to our place this Friday after exams. Just some drinks and maybe karaoke, I don’t know. We all deserve a break from hell. Wanna come?”

You didn’t reply. Your mind was too preoccupied with other things.

“Mark hyung is coming,” he said. “Maybe Mina too.”

“I don’t wanna go,” you said immediately, suddenly coming up with a decision.

The boy laughed. “You are jealous! God, I love it when you prove yourself wrong. You shouldn’t be though. You already know he likes you.”

“I’m not jealous! Stop it,” you whined, really wanting to cry this time. Everything is so frustrating and Jaemin is not being of any help. You wanted to go home and just wrap yourself in your blanket and maybe one of Mark’s hoodies.

“Then come to our place this Friday. It’s gonna be fun.” He grinned.

“Fine. Whatever. Just get away from me, you little shit,” you said, kicking him lightly in the butt.

You didn’t know if it was a lie or not but if Mark really is seeing someone now, you just didn’t like the idea of seeing them flirt with each other in front of your eyes. Even the thought of it makes you want to pull all your hair out. Is that considered jealousy? If so, why are you feeling it for someone who’s supposed to be just a friend?

Thursday came and you found yourself crying after realizing the shirt you’ve been wearing the whole day was Mark’s. No wonder he looked surprised seeing you in the hallway. He looked away immediately though, acting as if you weren’t there. It didn’t even cross your mind since you use this shirt quite a lot.

After calming yourself down, you put your playlist on shuffle and cried some more after Friends by Ed Sheeran started playing. You didn’t even realize how fitting the song was for your situation until now. Mark probably did.

You remembered him singing that song once. The two of you were just lounging in his apartment. He was playing his guitar while you pretended to study when in reality you were just looking at him. You watched as his fingers plucked and strummed the guitar strings while he softly mumbled lyrics, head bobbing to the tune. He’s good. Unsurprisingly, since he’s good at everything.

When he realized you were staring at him, he turned his head slightly to meet your eyes, one side of his lips curling up into a smirk. “No, my friends won’t love me like you do,” he sang.

You looked away, your cheeks heating up almost immediately. It was hard to focus on your readings when he’s sitting right in front of you looking like that, singing like that. You sighed. He truly was never being subtle about how he felt.

After finishing the song, Mark put his guitar down and laid his head on your lap, not even bothering to ask if it’s okay. That’s how comfortable you were with each other.

“What are you doing?” You remember whining.

“Wake me up after 15 minutes,” he said, already closing his eyes. You took a photo of him that night. He’s cute when he’s asleep. Even cuter when you look at him up close.

Of course, you just had to search your camera roll to find the photo. When you did, it felt as if a storm was raging on your stomach and a gorilla was pounding on your chest. It never dawned to you just how much it hurts that he suddenly left you alone until that moment.

“Goddamn, I miss you so much,” you muttered, looking at his peaceful expression in the photo.

And then you cried some more. You feel lost.

All you wanted to do was curl up in his arms and inhale his scent and listen to how his day went (and maybe accidentally fall asleep together). It sucks because you really had no one else to turn to. The single person who has always been your safe place doesn’t want to talk to you and even if he did, you really wouldn’t know what to say. Perhaps friends really aren’t like that. The thought of everyone being right when they said that maybe you and Mark were never really just friends has never been stronger than it was tonight.

Still, you couldn’t be bothered to sort your feelings out.

He feels like home, you thought. It was the best way to explain the sense of comfort and safety and the feeling of being more than enough that he provides you. It’s the only thing you can think of when your mind drifts to how he is always the constant person that you run to at the end of the day. But friends can feel like home, too, right?

Not to this extent. Not really.

Friday. You found yourself aimlessly roaming around the neighborhood after your classes in the hopes of distracting yourself from your feelings or whatever the hell they’re supposed to be called. You wouldn’t have remembered Jaemin’s party if you didn’t happen to pass by their apartment building.

You stood in front of it for two solid minutes, contemplating whether to go or not.

Mark might be there, you thought. With everything that’s going on in your head and with all the mess happening in your chest, would it really be a good idea to see him? You thought maybe all these things you’re feeling are just a result of missing him. All these sadness and confusion might just be because you miss your best friend.

So you entered the building. You told yourself that you’ll try talking to him again this time, no matter how stubborn he’s going to be. And if it still doesn’t change anything, then you will take it as a sign to let him go. If not forever, then at least for now.

You reached the door to Jaemin and Jeno’s apartment. Even from the outside, the sound of the bass can already be heard. You wondered how long before the neighbors would file a complaint against them, but knowing Jaemin and Jeno, their neighbors are probably inside, partying with them right now.

Before entering, you looked down on your chest just to make sure you were wearing your own shirt and not Mark’s. It didn’t feel right wearing his stuff anymore. God, it really felt like you just broke up. Why is it like this?

You took a deep breath and opened the door. There were already a lot of people inside even if it was just 8 in the evening. Most of them, you know the faces of. You smiled to greet some and muttered a hi to others.

Renjun spotted you as soon as you came into the living room. “Y/N!” He grinned, handing you a cup of god knows what. “Jaemin said he invited you but we were all pretty sure you were gonna ghost us. But you didn’t!”

You laughed hesitantly. “Thanks, I guess?”

“Drink up. It’s a cocktail I made myself,” he said proudly, almost forcing the cup into your mouth.

You took a sip, figuring it won’t do any harm but you spat the liquid back to the cup as soon as it touched your tongue. “What the hell did you put in this?”

He shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know. I just mixed in everything I could find. Thanks for trying it out though. I’ve been looking for a volunteer for five minutes already.”

You frowned. There were a lot of things you were unsure of at the moment but there is one thing that’s certain: you have weird friends. You were about to complain to Renjun when he plucked the cup from your grip and went on to find another victim, not even bothering to listen when you said you literally spat on the cup.

Mark didn’t seem to be anywhere. The apartment wasn’t that big so if he was here, it would be easy to spot him. Maybe he decided not to show up after knowing you were coming. And honestly, part of you was relieved. As much as you wanted to talk to him, you still didn’t know what to say.

I’m sorry I broke your heart, but I miss you so much and I did a lot of thinking and maybe we really shouldn’t be labeled as just friends but I don’t know if I love you, is that okay? That’s just stupid. This whole thing is stupid.

You wanted to leave. Parties have never really been your thing. You usually just go because Mark asked you to since he loves interacting with people. But you figured you needed some alcohol in your system, mainly as a distraction, but also to give you a boost of courage just in case. So you made your way to the kitchen, avoiding eye contact with anyone as much as possible.

You stopped in your tracks as you came to the kitchen. The sound of that laugh was all too familiar.

Great, you thought. Mark was there. And Mina was too. But so were Jeno and Jaemin who exchanged looks as soon as their eyes landed on you. They were all laughing about something before you came.

“You’re here!” Jaemin said a little too enthusiastically in a poor attempt to address the sudden increase of tension in the room.

“Hi,” you said, smiling sheepishly, purposefully avoiding Mark’s gaze which you could feel boring into you. “Just gonna get a drink.”

“Help yourself,” Jeno said. Jaemin smirked beside him.

The refrigerator was just beside Mark. Just great, you thought again. You walked towards it, desperately trying to ignore the four pairs of eyes following your every move.

“Excuse me,” you muttered, still not looking at your best friend.

Mark took a step sideways before opening the fridge for you. You muttered a quick thanks before grabbing the first bottle your hands landed on, not even bothering to check what it was. You really just wanted to get out of there. Maybe the talking to Mark plan was flawed from the beginning because you clearly can’t find the courage in you to face him now.

Beside you, Mark clicked his tongue. He was so close that you could smell his perfume mixed with a bit of alcohol. It made your knees weak.

He took the bottle from your hand and put it back before grabbing a different one and handing it to you. “The other one had vodka. Vodkas give you a headache, remember?” he said in a slightly annoyed tone.

“Oh.” Your voice sounded small even to your own ears. Not gonna lie, you wanted to cry at that moment. “Thanks.”

You could hear Jaemin snickering behind you but you couldn’t bring it in yourself to care. You turned to everyone and said a quick goodbye before dashing out of the kitchen.

Your heart was beating hard and rapidly and not because you moved too fast. You didn’t know why but it hurt seeing Mark like that, like he was okay, like nothing changed with the two of you. It hurt knowing that even after everything, he still knows you the best.

You wanted to run. You wanted to disappear. But you couldn’t leave without passing by the kitchen. Somehow, you know someone in there would stop you. If not Mark, then definitely Jaemin. But you really wanted to be alone. So you resorted to the next best thing. You whipped your phone out and sent Jaemin a text.

You: thanks for inviting me to this party. now i feel like shit :D

Jaemin: IM SORRY BUT DONT LEAVE YET TF

You: i need to be alone and i cant leave without passing by the kitchen and seeing mark. so pls let me use your room for a while.

You: i wont do anything i promise. i just need to calm down.

Jaemin: fine but dont lock the door

You: okay thanks

The door to Jaemin’s room was at the other end of the apartment. You made your way through the noisy crowd, slipping from Renjun’s weird gimmicks when he tried to make you a victim once again, before finally reaching the quiet confines of Jaemin’s room.

The thin walls barely blocked the noise but at least there was no one else here. You sat at the edge of the bed and placed the beer bottle on the floor. You forgot you didn’t even manage to open it. So you just stared at your feet, trying to catch your breath even if you didn’t do anything. That heavy feeling on your chest was back again. It was now associated with being in Mark’s presence.

You started counting to ten to calm yourself down before burying your face on your palms, breaking down into sobs as soon as your forehead came in contact with your fingers. “God, why can’t I just…” you cried, “... admit it to myself already?”

You wanted to thrash around in the bed in frustration but you thought Jaemin didn’t deserve such a mess so you settled with getting up and lightly banging your head against the door. It’s a bad habit you do when you feel annoyed or frustrated. Mark has always been reminding you to stop before you hurt yourself.

Mark. Again. You groaned, hitting your head a little harder this time.

Someone knocked on the door making you stop. You took a step back, thinking you just imagined it. But there it was again.

“Someone’s here,” you said, trying to hide the sound of your voice breaking.

“I know. Can I come in?” It was Mark. There was no question.

Your heart started pounding on your chest once again. You wanted to tell him to go away but you couldn’t find it in yourself to do so.

He took your silence as a yes. He swung the door slightly and poked his head through the small opening. Your hands immediately flew to your face to hide the fact that you’ve been crying.

��You know, I came in here because I didn’t wanna see you when I pass by the kitchen if I leave then you come here making me look like a clown,” you said, your voice muffled by your hands.

Mark chuckled softly. “Why didn’t you wanna see me?”

You didn’t reply. Your face felt hot, not just because of the tears that just won’t stop falling but also because all the blood has come rushing to your cheeks.

Mark grabbed both your wrists and gently lowered your hands down, trying to see your face, but your head bent down as soon as it wasn’t covered. “Y/N, look at me,” he said, hands still on your wrists.

“No.”

“Are you crying?” The idiot crouched down to have a glimpse of your face making you whine and cover your face again. “Last I checked, I should be the one looking brokenhearted around here.”

“God I hate you,” you mumbled. “You ignored me for nearly four weeks and you come in here just to make fun of me.”

He let out an empty laugh. “Well, you did break my heart so…”

At that, you removed your hands from your face to look at him. You were going to say sorry but Mark had that smug look on his face that made you want to punch him. It was almost convincing if you weren’t so good at reading the real emotions in his eyes. His expression softened upon finally seeing you properly.

He looked away, not being able to hold your gaze either. That just confirmed how hard he was trying to keep up with the exterior he was showing everyone.

“I’m sorry,” you said, voice breaking.

He sighed. “I told you. It’s okay.”

“But it’s not,” you cried. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn’t realize how easy it was to misread what we had because let’s face it, we don’t act like ‘just friends.’ I’m sorry because I was too blind to see how you felt even when you weren’t really trying to hide it. I’m sorry because even though I rejected you, I was so selfish that I still wanted to keep you for myself without realizing that you probably needed to be away from me to move on. I’m sorry because…” you swallowed.

Mark was just looking at you, eyebrows slightly raised in anticipation of what you were going to say next. You missed him. You missed that cute face of his. You missed being in his presence. You missed his voice and his laugh and how he loves teasing you even if he probably feels like shit inside. You missed everything. Four weeks have been too long without each other. Four weeks is too long without your best friend. Four weeks is too long without your home. And that’s when you realized…

“... I can’t let you go. And I might be too late, but I’m sorry that I only just realized why.”

“Why?” he asked.

It was a simple question. Why? Yet it managed to carve out every single feeling you’ve ever felt for this boy. Every little moment he made you laugh. Every small heartbreak you get when he fails to keep his tiny promises. Every single night you ‘accidentally’ fell asleep next to each other. Every ounce of fulfillment you get when you finally convince him to sleep after a long day. Every goodnight. Every good morning. Everything.

“I love you,” you said. It sounded almost like an exhale.

For a moment, Mark didn’t reply. Your head immediately started swarming with unwelcomed thoughts. Maybe you were too late. You almost forgot about Mina who he seems to be having an excellent time with. Maybe he managed to move on within those four weeks. It’s possible, right? You had your chance and you missed it.

Finally, Mark let out a laugh, his head falling down to look at the floor. “I told you you didn’t have to say it back,” he said, voice soft.

You shook your head. “I’m not saying it because you said it first,” you said. “I realize this might be the worst timing but I just thought you should know you weren’t the only one being stupid enough to fall for their best friend. I was just too dumb to realize that that’s what it was.”

“Why would it be the worst timing?” He frowned.

You felt like crying again. You really wish you had some alcohol in your system right now. Why is this whole confession thing taking so long? “‘Cause you’re dating Mina? Or trying to. I don’t know. I tried not keeping tabs on you because our friends are assholes who wouldn’t stop teasing me. She’s pretty, by the way. You two look good together.”

Mark laughed again. It was raw and real this time, and god, the way your chest tightened in endearment at the sound was so pure. “You thought me and Mina are dating?”

“Aren’t you? I’ve seen you guys together a lot.” Well, once. But you tend to overestimate things.

“No!” He snorted. “Jaemin and I are trying to get her and Jeno together. If anything, she made me realize that we definitely aren’t just friends.”

“Really?” Now you just feel stupid. But what else is new? It’s all you’ve been feeling lately. Come to think of it, Mark and Mina didn’t even come close to how you two act with each other.

“Really,” he said. “Friends don’t stay at each other’s place and cuddle with each other just to fall asleep, Y/N. Besides, I said I love you, didn’t I? Did you really think that’s just gonna go away that quickly?”

“Mark, I can’t even sort my feelings out. How am I supposed to figure out how yours work?” You sighed.

“Fine. Just to be clear, I still love you. Even if you don’t, I love you,” he said, taking both your hands and placing it on his shoulder before putting his on your waist.

“But I do.”

“Say it then.”

“I love you. Even if you’re the dorkiest person I know, I love you.” Your fingers tangled themselves in his hair. You’ve run your hands through his hair so many times before. You wondered why it never crossed your mind that you liked doing it not because his hair is soft but because you were sucker for the domestic feeling of it.

Mark couldn’t stop himself from smiling that he had to bury his face at the crook of your neck. “I’m not used to this, sorry.”

“Me neither,” you laughed.

When he finally composed himself, he pulled away just enough to look at you. All those times you’ve stood this close before does not even compare to how it’s like right now. This is the perfect mix of feeling new but familiar.

“You have no idea how many mornings I fought the urge to kiss you whenever we wake up next to each other,” he said in a soft voice.

“Well, nothing’s stopping you know, is there?” you muttered, eyes fluttering to his lips.

You pulled Mark down by the neck as he pulled you closer to him, your lips finally connecting. The idea of kissing him isn’t new to you. There were so many times before that you’ve found yourself inches away from his face and slamming your lips together wouldn’t have been such a bad idea. But this is the first you actually kissed him yet he felt so familiar that you were almost sure you’ve done this a million times before. His lips were soft against yours that it made you weak in the knees. If he weren’t holding onto you like he was, you probably would’ve crumpled already.

The two of you pulled away, breathless.

“Wow,” he breathed. “That didn’t even come close to how I imagined it would feel like.”

You laughed. “This whole night didn’t come close to how I imagined it would be like. I thought you were gonna keep on ignoring me. And honestly, I wouldn’t know how to cope anymore because I really, really miss you already. So thanks for saving me.”

“Stop making me blush. I don’t know how I can possibly love you more than this.”

You rolled your eyes but you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. This was only one of the very few times that the reality went better than your expectations. But then again, maybe you and Mark have always been meant to happen. It was happening even before you realized it was. And now that you finally managed to sort how you both felt, there was no more wasting chances.

“Do I still have to ask you to be my girlfriend?” he asked.

“We’ve literally slept in the same bed so many times. I’d be more surprised if we’re not dating already,” you joked.

Mark grinned. “You’re literally the only one who didn’t realize that until today, but it’s okay, I still love you.”

You laughed. “Wanna go outside and pretend we didn’t make up? I’m 100% sure Jaemin betted on us.”

“I worry how your mind works sometimes, Y/N,” Mark said with a frown before kissing you on the forehead. “But let’s do it.”

You smiled. You’ve said it a lot but you really missed this proximity. You missed being able to hug him whenever you want, and now you can kiss him whenever you want too. You wanted to say you could get used to this, but the thing is… you already are.

#y/n is a clown here read at your own risk #BUT PLS ENJOY CAUSE I DID #dhjdkjfhdfk i should stop writing about mark #nct au #nct imagines #mark lee imagines #mark lee #nct mark au #nct prompts #nct blurbs #soft nct hours #sad nct hours #nct fluff au #nct angst au #nct dream au #nct 127 au

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nandolonso · 5 years ago

Text

SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF THIS (John Wick X Reader)

("TEACHER" X STUDENT COLLEGE AU)

Pairing: John Wick x Reader (AU - ish?)

Summary: John Wick lives a different life before his "retirement". He becomes a sort of vigilante, who is taking out the bad guys. His next goal is to catch a drug dealer who mainly distributes in Y/N's college. However, after meeting Y/N, not only Y/N's life turn upside down but also John's.

Word count: 8281

Warnings: ugh, so many. But it's John Wick, so... blood, swearing, college, anxiety, panic attacks, loneliness, shyness, angst, slow-burn, age gap, smut, DIRTY SMUT, fluff.

ALSO, IM NOT A NATIVE SPEAKER OF ENGLISH SO PLEASE FORGIVE MY MISTAKES!

Author’s note: GUYS!! I've found this fanfic deep down in my-never-posted-writings and I was re-reading it when I thought, this is just utter shit, let me post that (lol), I hate myself. 😂 I was cringing at some part, but I managed to write them over, so it is a little bit bearable. I don't know if you'll like it, but I hope you do. I wanted to post something to cheer you up in this hard time. I wish the best for all of you. ♥️ The inspiration came from some many places, but mostly from "calling teachers by their first name" videos. You'll see why I got the idea from it... After that, I've given some thought about "fake" teacher John and gosh... let me tell you, it got me hot and bothered. Also inspired by 21/22 Jump Street. Please, please, leave some feedback.

P.S.: Sadly, I don't know any Italian, so thank you for Google Translation for "sponsoring" this fic lmao.

This was your very last year of college. More specifically, your last semester. Thank God. You could not be happier as you thought about it. Even though you enjoyed studying, you were overwhelmed with your lectures as you were a maximalist and wanted to give 100% in everything. You enjoyed learning and finding new topics but the assignments, the presentations, and the exams stressed you out incredibly. You did not apply for any further study at least at the moment as you wanted to rest a little bit and work somewhere till you find out what you really wanted to achieve in life.

The first week went by quite easily, as the teachers mostly talked about the syllabus and what you can expect from the rest of the semester. Thankfully, everyone seemed kind of nice except your Italian teacher and his lesson, which you took up as an optional course in the first place since you wanted to earn some extra credits. Now, it seemed like a bad decision. The teacher was old, who did not enjoy his teaching at all. It was difficult to follow and boring, not to mention that he continually talked in Italian even though it was a beginner's course. When the others tried to tell him, he became mad and gave out even more assignments for next week.

So now, that you were sitting in class and waited for him the nervousness which you felt was understandable. You were chatting with one of your classmates who sat behind you. You could not say that you had any friends. You were mostly alone in your whole life, which sometimes was a curse, while other times it was a blessing. You opened up for so many people who disappointed you and let you down that this was the safest way of living your life now. Just talk to someone if necessary, otherwise living your life as you wish. Sometimes it was really depressing as there was basically no one to talk to, you could not share any interest with someone, not your desires, your goals, nothing. Even when you did, you became the focus of mockery.

Suddenly everyone became silent as most certainly, the teacher approached into the room. However, when you turned around your last week's grumpy teacher was nowhere to be found, instead of him, you meet with a totally different man. You looked straight him into the eye as you took up his presence. He was tall, he had a skinny physique but you could certainly see that he was muscular, even though the black shirt and jeans he wore covered his entire body. He had dark, semi-long hair which was slicked back, while he also had dark stubble, which was framing his face aesthetically. Now, his dark brown eyes laid on you and it was like it burned a hole into your soul. He had some characteristic which you could not explain, but you were sure that he was attractive. Very much. And exactly your type. Not to mention that he was older than you, around his mid-30s - early 40s, which you thought was the perfect age as you were always fond of older men.

"Uhm... hey everyone" he started as he finally looked away from you to gaze at the others as well. His voice sent shivers down your spine. It was deep and husky. "I'm John Wick and I'll substitute your last teacher, who became ill. He will turn up as soon as he feels like it, but we don't know when that will happen," he stated. Maybe, the previous teacher would have been better. Now, it will be really hard to focus and now you wanted to study even more just to impress him, which is sounded insane. You immediately started to curse yourself in your head because what you did was completely silly.

"I'm not by any means an Italian teacher, but I'm fluent in Italian, as I've lived in Italy and since this is a beginner's and optional course I thought I will be just as good for this short time as Y/LT/N would have been." as he finished he clapped his palms together, facing towards the desk which now became his. "Firstly, let's start with an introduction and what your goals are, and from that on we can move with the rest of the lecture," he said and turned and pointed towards you. This gesture was unexpected for you and you immediately felt that your cheeks burned up as you tried to collect yourself. You were a great student but you were dealing with anxiety when you had to speak in front of others. Your mind and desires were totally different that you could actually manage out from yourself, and this was true in every situation.

"Uhm..." you started as you cleared your throat. "I'm Y/N and I'm a final year student here. To be honest, I don't really have many goals at the moment, because..." the way he was looking at you completely took your breath away. It was like he sees all of your secrets. "...I want to take a little bit of break from studying after I've finished. I want to work somewhere, see the word. Just those cliché things that usually everyone says." he started to chuckle and honestly, it was the best thing ever.

"Thank you, Y/N" the way your name rolled out of his tongue was beautiful. "I hope everything turns out great for you and one day you even get to Italy as well." he smiled and turned to the next person, so the magic moment you felt completely disappeared within a second. He was just nice. With everyone. He listened to everyone's word with actual interest and wished something friendly before turning to the next person. How could you think that he sees something different in you?

The course actually ended sooner than you would expect, the time flew with him. He gave you a short assignment for next week, collecting all those things you would like to talk about in Italian. On your way out you glazed at him once more, however, his eyes were glued to the paper in front of him. You left out a soft sigh as you left the room.

This was the first time in your college years that you really waited for a lecture but at the same time, you also dreaded from it. You could not wait to meet John again or you could say Mr. Wick, but this just fueled your fantasy about him even more. You were sitting in the front row with your classmates, whom you talked about your new teacher. They were eagerly fond of him, but not as you did. Even though they find him attractive, he was just a teacher for them. However, for you, he started to become something else. You could feel something different from him and you thought that he should not be a teacher because it was just not his field. Not that he was a bad teacher or anything, but he was not that teacher type that you could imagine. You felt something which you could not explain. You were always a curious person, and this case was like a puzzle that needed to be solved.

"Buona sera a tutti! (Good evening, everyone!)" he greeted, his eyes lingering on you. You did not want to look away, so the two of your's gaze intertwined with each other for a few seconds. You managed to smile a little bit, but at that same time, he turned away. He was just as good looking as the last time, wearing a light grey t-shirt, regular jeans, and a leather jacket. How could he be this handsome?

"Okay, let's go through those things which you like to learn about, and then we can build the lecture from there." everyone nodded as he said it, preparing their notes on what they would be interested in learning in this course. Your eyes were glued on your paper, your head tilted down trying to avoid eye contact with him when you heard your name.

"Y/N" he stated. "Let's start with you just like last time." you were quite shocked. Nobody managed to remember their students' names in the first weeks. Hell, sometimes not even at the end of the semester either. You looked up at him, seeing his face focusing on you, slightly furrowing his eyebrows in concentration.

"Ordering food..." you breathed out and you started to blame yourself immediately.

"Ordering food in Italian in a restaurant?" he helped you out, stating as it was a declarative sentence, but he shifted the tone in the end. You were grateful for his help. You nodded and he returned a smile to ease your frustration. "Nice, good idea," he said. "Let's move on."

The first months of the semester went by rapidly. The first two weeks was just a warm-up, but after that assignments came after assignments as so did exams and such. You could not fantasize about Mr. Wick anymore in your free time as you were loaded with anxiety to finish every task just in time. However, you always waited for the class, even though your mind wandered somewhere else. Thankfully, about two weeks spring break will come.

"You can handle your assignments on your way out. That's the end of the class. Thank you everyone." he said and at that point, you realized that you completely forgot about your essay which you should have written for today. You thought that is due next week. Well, fuck. Basically, everyone handled in their assignment, as you approached John you became very nervous. You did not really know what to say.

"Jonathan" the words fell out of your lips without thinking. You realized that what you said was rude and you just tried to make the situation better, even though your teacher's expression did not change. "John... I mean Mr. Wick." you cursed yourself, trying to get out of the situation somehow.

"Yes, Y/N?" he asked, as he was looking down at you. He was so much taller than you, the way he looked consumed your whole being.

"I'm so sorry but I forgot to write my essay for this week. I thought it was due to next week. I'm sorry." you jabbered, looking at your feet to ease your nervousness.

"It's okay, Y/N," he said calmly. "You can handle it next week as well." when you looked up at him he was slightly smiling. That damn smirk made butterflies in your stomach, causing your heart rate to quicken.

"Really?" you asked back. "No punishments?" without thinking, the question just rolled out of your tongue.

He turned his head a little bit, trying to hide his ever-growing smile.

"Would you like to?" you started to blush at his deep voice, thinking about something inappropriate when he clearly was just talking about the assignment.

"No..." you answered. "Not for an essay, no." you just started to make everything worse. You wished that the ground would swallow you on the spot.

"Periodt then," he said to ease the tension a little bit. "Or whatever slang you use these days." You genuinely started to laugh, and it was really good after a long time. Nobody made you laugh these days and it was really nice to talk to someone besides listening to lectures all the time.

"Wow, I'm impressed" it was just absurd to hear this word from his mouth. But you really felt this way.

"My goal is accomplished than" was all he answered. Was he flirting with you? You just wished that. But the whole situation was just weird. Just the way you felt like before. He is not in the right place, something is off with him. You learned these few signals over the years just to protect yourself, still, something keeps attracted you to him.

"I'll try to write it as soon as I can and bring you in your office hours." you smiled shyly.

"It's okay, Y/N, don't worry about it" he smiled back and that smile made you go crazy. You turned your back to him to leave the room. You were standing in the door when you suddenly turned back towards him once again. He was still watching you.

"Thank you, Mr. Wick," you said, waiting for no answer when he said:

"You can call me Jonathan or John. Whichever you like." you were just standing there, completely in shock. This never happened to you before. None of your previous teachers of yours allowed to call them on their first name. To be honest, you did not even try but with John, it just slipped out. You did not know what to say so you just nodded, leaving him standing there watching after you.

The rest of the week was awful. You could not wait for the weekend when you could rest a little bit. You were extremely overwhelmed with work and it seemed that nothing wants to work out for you. It was Friday morning, thankfully you did not have any classes left so you finally could work on your assignment for Mr. Wick. You meant, Jonathan. Thinking about him and the way he said that you can call him on his first name made your heart beat faster. Since that day you could not stop thinking about him, which is why everything became harder than it should have been.

It was around 11 in the morning, but you already did a lot of work. You went to the store, then you cooked something for you for the weekend, you cleaned the house as well as doing the laundry. Your roommate was not home, as usual. Since she got that boyfriend of hers, they always spent the time together. At least, you were alone and nobody could bother you. You always did the house chores anyway, as she not usually cleaned up. After everything fallen from your hands and you basically had to clean up twice, the last task was taking out the trash. You somehow managed to take all of her and your trash into three bags. You were already on your way out when you realized that something from one of the bags was leaking. You started to become really angry and mad. At the edge of crying and breaking something, to say the least. You tried to hold back yourself together, taking a deep breath and hoping that the bag will hold on till you reached the bin in front of the street. As it was mentioned before, this was not your day.

Half of the stuff fallen on the ground just when you dumped the rest of it into the trash.

"FUCK" you cried out, hitting the top of the trash and also kicking into it to release those pressure which started to build up in you.

"Y/N" you heard a deep voice behind you. When you turned around you realized that John was there. Who probably watched the previous scene when you freaked out. What was he doing here? "You need any help?"

"Mr. Wick" you started but he interrupted you.

"John."

"Yes, John." you started. "This isn't my day. Could you please wait here as I get another bag?" you asked. You could just said that everything was fine and he could go on his day. But no. Because you did not want him to leave, even though you had no idea what was he doing here.

"Don't worry, I got some," he said while reaching for a plastic bag from his pockets. You lifted your eyebrow while he handed one to you as well as ripping one for himself. "I have a dog, so..." he said, while the two of you collected the rest of the trash. Well, this was not romantic at all. Your cheeks started to burn as you felt the situation kind of humiliating.

"What kind of dog you have?" you asked, trying to pick up the stuff as fast as you could.

"A blue English Staffordshire Bull Terrier" he breathed out when the two of you finally dumped away the rest of the trash.

"Oh, those are really nice dogs even though everyone seems to be afraid of them" you started the conversation and you could swear that his eyes lit up at your compliment.

"Oh, totally. They are super nice when they are raised well," he said smiling. "There are no bad dogs just bad owners." you just nodded, did not know what to say. A few seconds passed by just looking at each other, none of you said anything or moved.

"I should get..." he started, but at the same time, you started as well.

"Would you like a coffee or something in return?" you asked.

"Yeah, sure" he breathed but turned away from you to his car. Which you only realized just now. "Can I park here?" he asked as he gesticulated towards his Mustang. Your jaw just dropped.

"Wow. She's beautiful," you said coming closer to his car. You did not realize what you did until you actually did it. You reached out to touch the roof and at the same time approach John incredibly close. You just recognized that you did not answer his previous question. "And yes, I think you can park here but I'm not sure though."

He said nothing, just looking at you and monitoring every movement you made. He appreciated how your eyes were shining with excitement. Your fingertips which caressed his car so gently. Your hair, which slightly fallen into your face, framing it beautifully. You took his breath away.

"Would you like to try it out?" you did not really comprehend his question, as you were still focusing on his car. When the question finally hit you, you turned towards him with furrowed eyebrows.

"Is this allowed?" you asked. At this moment you wanted nothing more than him taking you out for a ride.

"Why wouldn't be allowed?" he asked back, kind of confused.

"Because you're my teacher." you simply answered back. At that moment you could swear that the smile frozen to his lips, like the reality hit him or something. Something was off. Just like you suspected before. "If you're a teacher at all," you added carefully.

"Who else would I be?" the confidence which was radiating from him started to slowly fade away. He was nervous, you could see that.

"I don't know, you just not seem to be a teacher type of guy." you started. "You don't look like it... and, surely, teachers cannot afford cars like this." you pointed towards his engine. In that second, he moved closer to you, which is why the air stuck in your throat. You looked up at him, his eyes were dark with some emotion which you could not read. You have not seen this side of him yet.

"Maybe, I got it as a gift" his voice comes through your fast heartbeat which was throbbing in your ear.

"I doubt it" you had no idea where this bravery was coming from, even you were surprised. Before he could manage to say something his phone started to ring. He pulled away from you to answer it.

"I'll be there," he said shortly, hanging up the phone. "Sorry, Y/N. I have to go." he was fast. Before you could realize he already got into his car. "Maybe next time," he added, and before you could realize he was already on his way leaving you on the sidewalk alone.

The next time you meet him was after his Italian class. You did not attend class, but you managed to arrive at the end of the session to give your essay to him. He was looking good as always, wearing dark clothes highlighting every muscle on his bare skin which was not covered.

"I'm sorry John that I couldn't come for today's class, but I had some family issues" you breathed out which was kind of true. You had family issues, anxiety issues, university issues, and just issues of issues. On top of that, you got a lot of anxiety attacks lately, which did not help you at all. Your hands were shaking as you handed your essay to him. "I know I said that I can manage to finish earlier but I couldn't," you added and he did not say a word. He did not even look at you as he took away the essay. You were heartbroken.

As he did not say anything else you just left the room completely taken aback, trying to suppress the tears which you could feel that going to burst out. When you arrived in the hallway, it was harder and harder to suppress it. You quickly went to the bathroom and when you closed the door behind you everything just came out. All of those tensions were building inside up you. Those feelings which constantly taken up your mind. That you're never good enough, that you have no one to rely on, not even a friend, not family. Nobody. You had nothing and no one. Besides that, you were constantly under stress because of the university. You wanted to perform as the best version of yourself, but you just could not hold back anymore.

After the tears came out and your breathing became a little bit better you went to the basin to wash your face with cold water and to make yourself a little bit more presentable as you still had class. You took a deep breath and got out to the next lesson. Everyone was waiting at the door as the room was not open yet. At this moment, one of your classmates who was kind of nice to you touched your arm.

"Hey, Y/N" she started. "Are you okay?" she asked.

Even though you appreciated her question, you did not know what to say.

"Yeah, sure. Why?" you lied, but it was enough for her to completely change the topic.

"Will you come to the party next week?"

"I don't know" you started. "I haven't really thought about it." as soon as you finished one of the other classmates of yours spoken up.

"She doesn't know because he is waiting for John. I mean, Mr. Wick," he said, bursting out into laughter. You did not know how he found out but your cheeks started to burn up.

"What did you just say?" you asked back, almost shouting at him when you heard the others whispering.

"Oh shit, here he comes," said one of them. When you turned back John was standing next to you. You were sure that he heard the whole conversation. When he looked at you his eyes stuck at your red ones. You were sure that he knew that you were crying. Even though the cold water helped, you still looked like a mess.

"Is there a problem?" he asked using his deep, "discipline" teacher voice. His voice was dangerously low, which sent a shiver down your spine and a feeling to your core which you tried not to think about.

"Not at all" smiled back the douchebag who started everything in the first place. John lightly grabbed your arm, turning his whole body towards you.

"Y/N, can we talk?" he whispered, but the others still managed to figure out the situation. As you answered, they started to chuckle, but at that point, you could not care less as John guided towards his office.

When there were just the two of you, he looked at you with concern on his face.

"Is everything all right, Y/N?" he asked but you just could not look at him. Your eyes were fixated on your shoes. Why would he care? He did not even look at you half an hour ago. You did not answer. You did not know what to say. He was your teacher. You could not tell him your problems even though you wanted to. "Y/N?" he asked again.

This time you looked up at him. His arms were crossed in front of his chest, waiting for your answer.

"I'm fine, thank you, Mr. Wick" you stressed his last name. A sudden expression went through his face which you could not read. "Why would you care, you're just a teacher anyway," you said without thinking of the consequences as you stormed out of his office.

The last week before spring break went quite quickly even though you felt like a zombie. You did not attend your class with John, even though you desperately wanted to. You just skipped that class, while you were attending the others. You were hiding in the hallway, trying to avoid anyone. Just arriving at the beginning of the course and coming out as soon as you could. In this way, you could survive university. Now, thankfully you had a free week when you could charge up your battery and just rest a little. Your mind wandered at the party which your classmate mentioned to you, wondering if John would be there. A few teachers had to be there, because it was a university party and they were still responsible for you somehow.

You really wanted to go. To dance, to drink and to forget all of your problems.

That is why you were standing in front of your mirror trying to soothe imaginary creases on your black dress. You kept finding mistakes on yourself, about your makeup, about your hair. But at the same time, you kept reminding yourself that this is just a party and the main goal is that you should enjoy the night without constantly thinking bullshit about yourself.

This is what you kept saying in your head on your way to the party. The place was already buzzing with music and people's voices, radiating a certain kind of heat as well. As you step inside, you were already washed away by the crowd, seeing people who you never saw before.

As you looked around you saw a giant plaque that said that it was a retro vs. modern age night. All night, songs from the 80/90s were played, after that came a piece of current music and the whole mass went insane. Everybody moved as a whole in perfect sync swaying to the rhythm of the music. Sadly, you could see that a lot of people were high and drunk, which you could never do, but you still wanted to dance. You just started to move your body alone, when your all-time a favorite song started to play from the speakers.

Sweet dreams are made of this

Who am I to disagree?

I travel the world

And the seven seas,

Everybody's looking for something

At that point, your eyes stuck at a dark figure which you could recognize even in your dreams. John Wick was standing there, looking at you. He was wearing a full black suit with his hair slicked back. You were constantly gazing at him. Even though you wanted him to be here the whole situation was absurd and unbelievable. However, he still managed to surprise you all the time.

Some of them want to use you

Some of them want to get used by you

Some of them want to abuse you

Some of them want to be abused.

Looking at him and listening to these lines hit you. Hit you really hard. As you looked at him, all of your desires and hidden fantasies started to take over your body. Your nasty hidden feelings. All of those things which you could never share with anyone. You wanted to be used, you wanted to be abused. But you wanted these in a good way. You wanted this as a thing, where the two of you want this not just you. You wanted to be safe, you wanted to feel appreciated, you wanted to feel special, you wanted to be WANTED. You wanted a man, who makes you feel things you never felt before. Who does things to you and touches you like you never experienced before. Maybe, just the daddy issues were speaking from you but looking at John you could feel that he could fulfill all of your wishes and desires. Not to mention that he would be there for you as a friend, as a lover, even as a soulmate. And as someone, who just genuinely cares about you. At least, you hoped so. But it could never happen because he was just a teacher and you were just a silly student.

However, the way he was looking at you consumed your whole being. You did not know what happened to you but you started to sensually move your hips, turning your back to him to kind of show him what he can get.

After a few seconds, you felt a muscular, hard chest pushing against your body.

"Mind if I join?" a deep voice asked and you could recognize this tone everywhere. You did not even answer as you did not have to. You just turned back towards him, getting as close as possible. He was even more handsome up close, taking your breath away.

"Is this allowed?" you shouted, but it sounded like a whisper in the crowd.

He pulled you closer to him, resting his hands on your waist and tilting his head down to bury his face into your hair.

"I don't even care anymore" he answered, his breath caressing your ear as well as the side of your neck. This sent a shiver down your spine, causing your thighs to rub together to ease the sensation which was building in your core deep down. He could feel that your body tense up between his palms, but he kept you steady with his strong and firm hands.

"What does that mean?" he looked up at you, with some expression on your face which you could not read. He wanted to tell you something, you could see that but something changed as he looked at your side.

"Stay here," he said and suddenly his touch disappeared causing you to shiver as he was not there anymore.

You could barely react, but you still managed to see where he went to. Without thinking, you started to follow him.

You looked at him everywhere when you find him outside the field of the campus. To be honest, you could barely see him but you could hear him grunting and... fighting? He was the last man standing with someone else, besides them, there were laying bodies. You could never dream of being a situation like this. You did not know what to do. You were completely frozen and could not move. Your panic started to take over your mind and you could barely manage your breathing.

"John" suddenly you cried out. He immediately looked at you, which the opponent took as a chance and hit him right in the gut. He sunk into his knees, while the other man started to approach you.

"Y/N run," he said but you could not even lift your finger. You could see as the other man was getting closer and closer to you when John grabbed him from behind and started to choke him. The other man started to run out of the air and suddenly collapsed into John's arms. John did not even think twice, he dropped the enemy onto the ground. Before you could realize, John grabbed your arm, dragging you across the field into the parking lot where you saw his car.

"Get in the car!" he ushered you, but you could barely move. You were completely frozen which was insane thinking that your body was on fire just a few minutes ago.

"Why?" you managed to push this word out of you when he started to yell.

"Get in the fucking car!" he said and that predatory look on his face with some bruises and blood made him look like a totally different person. You got in the car, slowly breathing out that air that you did not know you were holding. He started the engine and drive at a very high speed toward somewhere which you could not recognize.

"Where are you taking me?" your throat was dry. It was hard to speak, but this was the only sentence which you dared to ask after minutes.

"Home. To me," he answered shortly.

"Why?" you whispered but he could hear it. After minutes, you finally looked at him. He was holding the wheel so damn strong that his knuckles went white. He was angry, you could see that. His whole expression changed as he was not looking at you, just fixating his eyes on the road.

"Because you fucking messed up your goddamn life" to hear him swearing made you sense that you are truly in deep trouble.

"What did I do?" you asked softly and suddenly all of his muscles started to loosen up at your tone.

"I was taking out a gang when you just showed up, risking your whole life just to look after me." he started.

"So you..." you started softly as you could feel that the ice between the two of you started to melt. "You're not a teacher." was all you managed to say.

"God no," he answered, and before you could realize you started to laugh. It came from the bottom of your heart. He looked at you the first time, furrowing his brows. "It's not funny, Y/N.," he said and before you could stop yourself the following words just slip out of your mouth:

"Thank God, 'cause ever since I saw you I've kept telling myself that I can't fall for a teacher" as soon as you said it your cheek started to burn. He looked at you with piercing eyes.

"I'm not a teacher, but I'm way worse," he said in a dangerously low voice. And thinking back to those guys around him finally hit you.

"Who are you?" you whispered. He looked back at the road as he could not bear to see your expression when he told you the truth.

"I'm a ..." he started, but he did not want to say assassin. Because that was just too much the handle. "I'm the one who takes out the bad guys." you nodded, did not know what to do with this information. You have always known that there is something wrong with him, but you could not explain why. Now, this was the reason and you wished that you did not know. Still, you fell for him even more.

"Did you kill them?" you asked.

"No." he answered back. "I didn't have my gun." suddenly you felt that breathing becomes heavier.

"Have you killed someone?" you barely dared to ask this question but the heavy silence which felt on you told more than words.

You did not say a word until he finally stopped at his garage. His house was beautiful, so big that it was unbelievable that it only belonged to him.

"Wow..." you whispered and he smiled.

"Y/N" he started and you turned towards him. "I'm sorry that I disappointed you. I just wanted to protect you. You'll stay here until I finish this business and make sure that no one harms you. After that, you're free to go." you did not know what to say. You wanted to say something, but you could not. Your mind wandered somewhere else, constantly thinking about what the two of you talked about in the car. You told him about your feelings and he did not even say anything. "I have a room for you here," he said and ushered you to a room, leaving you alone.

You could barely get some sleep. Your mind was constantly thinking about John and his life. How dangerously he lived and how he managed to keep his camouflage at the university. Honestly, you even cried that night as well. You did not know what to do and how to react, even though you wanted him. Your mind could not be silenced after you saw him in action and what he did you still thought about his arms, his hands, and his body as he pulled you closer to him at the party. Not to mention that you felt his goddamn intoxicating perfume in his whole house as well as in the sheets.

After being up all evening, you woke up late in the afternoon. It was already 5 when you looked at the clock on the nightstand on your left. You left out a sigh, focusing on sounds. But you could not hear any. You slowly got up and opened to the door.

“John?” you cried out but no answers came. Instead of that, you heard something which was running towards you. Then you saw John’s dog. “Oh my God, you’re so cute” you kneeled to the ground to pet the dog which was in its early months. It was still small, but you could see the strong, robust figure which started to form underneath its skin. “Where were you last night?” you asked as if the dog could answer you. However, after petting and talking to it all of your stress and doubts left the mind.

You went to the kitchen, where on the counter you found a note. It was written by John and he had beautiful handwriting.

“Make yourself at home.” was all it said. Straightforward. Just like John.

After taking a shower and finding a long t-shirt in John’s wardrobe you finally sat down onto the sofa when the front door opened. John came in, the dog immediately cheered him licking and panting all over him. You watched the scene with a smile on your face. After John returned the same excitement as the dog, he finally looked at you. You were wearing one of his t-shirts. And that was it.

“What are you wearing?” he demanded. You stood up immediately, trying to explain yourself.

“You said that make yourself at home, so I’ve showered and searched for something to wear because the dress was really uncomfortable,” you said quickly. John left out a soft “oh” as he could have thought about this in the first place. Even though he did not want to admit, but he really liked the way it looked on you.

“Everything is clear now,” he stated simply. “I’m taking you home. Are you ready?” he asked and you were just standing there as if your legs got stuck into the ground.

“You don’t want to talk about it?” you started carefully, hinting to your previous unfinished conversation last night as well how he “cleared everything up”.

“No.” was all he said which felt like ripping and turning up your insides. You just nodded, turning away to suppress all of your emotions. That’s it. All of your fantasies about this man ended. He did not want to do anything with you. This was just business after all. And he finished it.

“I’m grabbing my stuff” you whispered, your throat was dry you could barely speak.

After collecting your dress and purse you were standing in front of him again. “Take me home,” you said firmly when his form started to loosen up.

“Y/N” he followed you as you were heading into the garage. His beautiful car was there, standing next to another one.

“Just take me home.” was all you said before he grabbed your wrist, pulling back to him and pushing his lips against yours. The kiss was not a soft one. It was passionate and hard. It took a few milliseconds to react, but gosh… it was desperate. From the two of you. Teeth clicked, tongues rolled against each other as the two of you started to express which words could not. He was cupping one of your cheeks, pushing you closer to him as much as he could. Your hands started to explore his body, caressing the soft material of his suit. You could feel as he started to harden beneath your touch, basically… everywhere. Just like in a second, which made you even more insane. He wanted you so much, he could barely hold himself back. He was rucking up your shirt with his other hand, grabbing your waist strongly which sent goosebumps all over your body. His touch was just like you imagined. No… it was even better. It took a side of you which you did not even know you had.

You could feel that you started to wet your panties even though he did not even touch you there yet. He was now kissing you a little bit softer but still passionately, sucking your bottom lip into his mouth. You started to moan as it did whole new sensations to your body which you never experienced before. He lifted you up from the ground before you could realize, to make you sit on the hood of his car. At that exact moment, you hooked your legs around his legs, pulling him closer to you. It was insane how the two of you moved in sync. It was like a perfect dance and choreography, even though you have not done this before to the other. But still, it was like you found a long lost piece from yourself. And he felt the same. The two of you did not stop kissing until his hands reached up to your neck, softly squeezing it to make out a moan from you which you could not even stop. John immediately stopped looking at you with concern on his face.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked softly looking at your neck if he caused any injuries. He did not even know what he has done until you moaned.

“Gosh no,” you started to laugh and blush. “It just… felt really good.” his eyes lit up with lust. It became even darker than it already was. He was looking at you, constantly holding his gaze when he reached again to your neck. He squeezed it a little bit harder this time, but it was even better. Your eyes rolled back as your core started to throb with desire.

“Fuck, Y/N” he breathed at the sight. “You’re making me insane.” was all he said before sinking to his knees. He pulled you closer to him, making you lay on the edge of his car. He looked so good kneeling between your thighs. And he looked even better when he started to stroke your clit through your underwear. He sharply sucked the air just by the sight of it.

You were laying on his car in your black lace panties. This was even better than he could ever dream for. He was holding himself back, but he was about to burst out.

“You look so good,” he said as he pushed your panties to the side to insert one finger slowly into you. You laid back all the way on his car as he started to finger your inside with one hand and your clit with his other one. You bite your lip to hold your moans back, but it was a really difficult thing to do. As he was so freaking good with his hand. You could barely hold yourself back when suddenly he pulled his finger out of you. Before you could realize, your panties were on the floor, and John grabbed your thighs to draw you closer to him. Now, he used his tongue instead of his fingers to play with your wetness, causing you to arch your back pushing your backside closer to his face. He grabbed your ass firmly with his hands, he wanted to control and drive you insane. He could not let you chase for your own pleasure. He wanted to make your pleasure. He wanted to make you lose your mind. He wanted you to scream his name.

He was flicking his tongue, constantly changing position between your clit and inside thing, delving his tongue deeper and deeper. You were moaning, making sounds, saying his name with some curse words as well. You were right. He truly made you feel things that you never felt before.

Suddenly, your most intense orgasm ever washed over you out of nothing, clenching all over John’s hands and tongue as he was still fucking you mercilessly with it to help over your after wave. Your hands were still grabbing his hair, rocking your hips against his face.

“Jonathan,” you said after a few seconds when he stood up, looking at you laying on his car finally satisfied. You sit up to push a soft kiss against his lips, which on you could feel your juices. Which caused you to be even hornier. As it was possible.

“I love when you say my name” he chuckled which made your stomach flop from happiness. “That is why I can’t wait to hear you screaming it,” he added with a dangerously low voice.

“Can I ask you something, Jonathan?” you said carefully, pulling him closer to you.

“Anything, doll” he answered.

“Then, fuck me” you whispered shyly. You did not know where this bravery was from, but John truly made you feel things that you never felt before.

“You don’t even have to ask,” he said as you started to undress him. His expensive suit and tie dropped onto the floor and the same time he removed the t-shirt and bra which you were still wearing as well.

He took your whole body in and admired every sight of it.

“You’re beautiful,” he said before pressing another urgent kiss to your lips. He grabbed your hair, making you moan into his mouth at how good all of this felt. At that exact moment, he thrust into you and your whole world rocked. He stretched you all the way up, cause you to cry out his name louder than you anticipated.

“Tell me if it hurts” he added and you couldn’t form a single word because the pleasure mixed with all the pain, caused to build your second orgasm and he was restlessly fucking you. You were a moaning mess, so is he. He was grunting and cursing as the two of you started to reach climax.

“Ah, fuck-“you cried out as your walls started to clench. “Let me cum, Mr. Wick” you added and you could actually feel that Jonathan is twitching inside of you. He suddenly stopped and grabbed your neck, ushering you to look at him.

“Say that again,” he demanded.

“Which part?” you asked shyly, thinking that it was a mistake and you’ve ruined everything.

“All of it.”

“Let me cum, Mr. Wick,” you looked straight into his eyes when you said it. The fact that you’re biting your bottom lip didn’t help him at all.

“Gosh…” he huffed and continued to mercilessly pound into you, deeper and deeper each time. You were overwhelmed with the new sensations and your whole-body shake, when the second, but most intense orgasm of the night hit you. John was approaching his own climax as well, every thrust of his became a little bit sloppier and out of pace. He kissed you so softly, when he reached his own pleasure, moaning into your mouth which sent a vibration down to your body. You tensed your legs around his waist, taking him in more while lying down on the top of his car.

“I’m sorry we made a mess,” you whispered and he started to chuckle.

“Don’t worry about that, especially that we’re only getting started,” he said in a dangerously low voice. And oh boy, he was right…

This is it. It was the end of suffering. End of your university years. As for now. You couldn’t be happier as you’ve left the building and saw a beautiful mustang parked on the driveway. It was from John Wick. You were quite surprised as he said that he has to leave the town for some… business. You didn’t expect him to be back this soon. Now, you’re smile grew even bigger.

“Here is my graduated girl,” he smiled at you and pressed a soft, loving kiss to your lips when you got next to him. You gave him a half-hug in this position, laughing into his shoulders.

“I did it.”

“Yes, you did,” he said, looking straight into your eyes now. He took out an envelope from his jacket. “I brought you this,” he said softly, and you were surprised.

“John, you shouldn’t…” but he cut you off.

“Just open it!” and you did. You carefully ripped off the edges taking out two flight tickets to Italy. Tears started to gather in your eyes.

“John…” you started but you didn’t even know how to begin. He also became emotional, as he looked at you.

“At our first Italian class, you’ve said that you want to see the world. I hope this will be a good start.” you didn’t know how you got a man like John, but it was more than you deserved.

“I love you, John,” you breathed out and this was the first time you’ve actually said this. He looked at you and his whole expression changed, suddenly his body tensed up. You suddenly became afraid that you said something wrong. Maybe it was too soon. Maybe…

“I love you too, Y/N,” he said finally and he pressed a kiss into your lips which told more than words. This was just the beginning. The very beginning of your life and also the adventure, which you continued with John Wick till the very end.

#john wick x reader #john wick x you #john wick x y/n #john wick imagine #john wick fanfic #john wick oneshot #keanu reeves x reader #my writings #my writing #mightyhemsworthy

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planetjisungie · 4 years ago

Text

lucky charms- h.rj

characters; ravenclaw! renjun x hufflepuff! reader ft. gryffindor! mark and gryffindor! jeno (sigh)

summary; with the exams coming up, you need a little help with your charms. well you dont, you just needed an excuse to talk to your long time crush, huang renjun

an; i literally changed this on the spot 🤡 plot holes here i come- (also id like to think jeno is more of a hufflepuff but idk man)

sigh okay this is a long boi

end of year exams were in just a few weeks

yay, your absolute favourite !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sarcasm

now, charms

in room 99, classroom 2E in the south tower

i did my research

you were pretty good at charms, not nearly as good as you were in the care of magical creatures and herbology though

still above averagely good

you know who else was good at charms?

huang renjun

the star ravenclaw prince boy, the pride of the house and a very beautiful boy

best boi renjun

if jeno was being quite honest he was SICK AND TIRED of hearing you two pine over eachother

jeno met you in first year, and you quickly became best friends and even ended up in the same house as eachother

despite having different friend groups (your friend group consisted of you and eunji), you stayed best friends until now aka 5th year

just go with it okay

so as he was saying before i digressed, jeno physically is pained as he watched the longing glances both you and renjun throw when the other isnt looking

but it isnt his business to meddle with your lack of relationship problems

best boi part 2

BUT! but! he will give you both a tiny! eensy! little! minuscule! nudge

that nudge being forming a plan with you

you were slightly reluctant when jenos very enthusiastic face greeted you at the table saying he had ‘a totally brilliant, spectacular, show stopping, wonderful, flawless plan’

this was jeno we were talking about

the same boy who planned the failed midnight snack run a few weeks before

and as soon as he mentioned renjun your eyes narrowed

"proceed."

the plan was for jeno to ask renjun to tutor his friend who was falling behind in charms

said friend was you

and you were ahead of the class

bUT!! you agreed because he wasnt in your class, so there was no way he could know that right?

wrong.

who was in your class?

mark lee. one of renjuns best friends.

also the boyfriend of eunji and the reason you wanted to gauge your eyeballs out everytime you turned around to talk to them

thats right eunji ditched you to sit next to her little markie. bitch.

nonetheless, you agreed because your dumb, spontaneous ass forgot that renjun even knew mark, because if someone said ‘whos mark?’ you would go ‘eunjis boyfriend’

so of course, when all the students were making their way to their class, jeno caught up with renjun seeing as they both had muggle studdies

"hey man, i have a favour to ask"

stage one of operation: stop the oblivious fuckers from pining over eachother (that name may need some revamping) was a-go

"depends what said favour is"

smart boi™️

"is it possible to tutor one of my friends in charms for the upcoming OWLs?"

oh? this piqued china pretty boys interest

"i mean, sure, i could do with some revision too. tell them to meet me at the library after school"

and so jeno walked away with a smug smirk, victorious

and when jeno told you he had agreed later in potions, you were yet you werent surprised

so of you trotted after last period, kinda nervous because youre about to be in the literal breathing proximity of renjun

like obviously youve talked to him before but this time it was just you and him

alone

no get those thoughts out of your head

n e ways u perv

renjun sat at the back table, textbooks and notebooks with his neat writing in both chinese and korean all over the pages

smart boi part 2

so seeing him not looking at you

attention whore

wow why am i so mean today

you sat down and cleared your throat, placing your blank notebooks on the table so the boy wouldnt get suspicious

you had to pray to whatever gods were listening for your cheeks not to flare up the colour of the strawberries you had for breakfast

healthy girl™️

and the gods apparently answered your prayers

because as soon as renjun looked up and into your eyes you swore you were too distracted for your blood cells to even think about moving towards your face

and renjun nearly had a heart attack (by aoa)

poor boy

jeno had NOT told him that he would be tutoring you

he was going to be choked later

"sorry im late"

renjun was nearly offended that you would even apologise to him for being late by

2 minutes and 48 seconds

"no no its okay i havent been here long"

that was a lie he had study period last and has been sat in the same goddamn chair for an hour already but your presence made his ass cheeks ache less

so he started teaching you, but ???

you seemed to fully grasp the concepts

confused boi

excuse me ma’am/sir/señor/señorita whatever you prefer to go by-

you need to brush up on your acting skills dude

appalling smh your drama teacher back from your muggle school would be completely distraught

so for the next hour renjun ‘tutored’ you

things you already knew but this was a dream-

and actually he was a funny guy

he was also muggle born, so you could both relate over things you experienced as a kid

this lead to a raging debate over dora the explorer

that bitch was shaded in said debate, fully annihilated

hola soy dora your asshole

but,, it was fun. because jeno was pureblood and grew up knowing about all his magicky stuff so he was kinda boring sometimes

no tea no shade

but you ended the session with smiles on both your faces, cheeks literally aching with how hard youd been laughing and smiling

so lads

the next day at breakfast renjun was all happy, plonking himself next to mark at the gryffindor table because

man does not give a SHIT about the looks he was getting. he is huang renjun.

"why are you so smiley this morning? and why didn’t you come to my common room last night"

the gryffindor common room was the dreamie hang out

no one dared tell THE mark lee to go somewhere else with his friends

"sorry, last night i was tutoring y/n in charms" smiley boy still

mark seagull eyebrows: activated

excuse him?? charms?? you?? the one who got an outstanding in your report card??

something smells fishy here

"renjun... y/n got an outstanding on her charms"

eunji who had magically appeared next to mark basically said what he was just thinking

confused boi part ??

"wait what?"

but later on he didnt question you about it

he silently observed you

he told himself that anyway

quite honestly if you were spending time with him he was not about to complain

he was staring at you, simply put

my leng bby (thats you, youre my leng bby)

so for the next 2 weeks every day after school you would meet up to ‘catch up’ on your charms

that being said it literally always, every time, ended up with you two talking about something unrelated

like the 5th day you had a conversation about which series of power rangers was better

"SPD, obviously"

AM I THAT OLD?? on god i hate it here

"no, y/n, we all know that dino force is better"

i agree with y/n on this one pal

on the 7th day you talked about muggle sports that you both enjoyed

"i played a lot of cricket"

"cricket? okay tory"

"i am NOT a tory"

on the last day when you should have been, you know, LEARNING

you were having a lovely old chinwag about the x factor

"simon cowell is a king"

"i agree"

legend behaviour if you ask me

wait does chinwag exist in other countries??? translation: chat

so of course the exams came up

but you were dreading them for a different reason

this meant the end of tutoring with renjun

this was super bittersweet, you wanted to spend more time with eachother

you literally could it wasn’t that deep both of you are so dumb smh aint nothing stopping you

jeno agrees with me too, mans pulling out his hair still as you had somehow not gotten together yet

it was like watching snails race, incredibly frustrating but you know that there is the finish line somwhere over the horizon

so you took your exams and both of you passed with flying colours, obviously

smart kids

and you ran right to renjun to celebrate

seeing as he had

not really helped you but you thought that he thought he helped you

oh no honey he knew that you didnt need help

but he didnt know whether to confront you about it?

rip your guilty conscience

so after a long discussion with mark, our china boy decided to ask why the heck you wanted his help when you were absolutely fully capable

unlike mark

and when you saw him approach you first in the halls your heart went

NYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

that was the sound of a fast motorbike

"hi y/n"

‘damn renjun, couldnt have thought of anything better than that?’

"uhh hi renjun"

awkward silence by stray kids

"i just wanted to know why you asked for my help"

okay where is the nearest shovel and what is the most efficient way to dig a large hole-

as if renjun sensed your panic radiating off you in waves

which he did

"not that it was an issue! i enjoyed spending time with you, it was just, you didnt really need help"

he was a pure boy

so you puffed your cheeks and decided to just come clean

somewhere, jeno felt his senses tingling

"genuinely i just wanted to spend some time with you because i really like you"

renjun froze and wanted to smack his head into a wall

bruh

you noticed his expression and panicked yet again

stop panicking man its okay i gotchu

"it was jenos idea"

blame jeno is always a fool-proof plan b

unless you get pregnant, that would not be a good idea

so i guess its not fool proof

BUT I DIGRESS

renjun face palms and groans

"youre kidding me! all this time we wasted doing boringass charms work when we couldve gone on dates"

confusion™️

but?? you felt hopeful??

"i dont think im on the same wavelength"

"i like you too dumbass"

oH so YOURE the dumbass??

yes, yes you are renjun is best boi, accept the L which is really a W bc renjun likes you back

jeno who had found his way to you, listening from around the corner sighed in happiness

"fucking finally!!"

#nct #nct dream #jeno #lee jeno #mark #mark lee #nct hogwarts au #renjun #huang renjun #hufflepuff reader #OWLs #just two dudes deadass pining after eachother

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growingingreenwood · 4 years ago

Note

Hey I start college this week any advice? Hope all is well you are amazing!

Omg good job!! That's so exciting!!!! Alrighty, I have a bachelor’s degree and now i'm working on my Rec Therapy Degree so I’ve had like 5 and a half years of college/university experience so hopefully at least something here will be helpful for you.

What are you going to collage to take?

One- Try to sit in the front of of the lecture hall

Classes will probably be a lot bigger than you’re used to and many people find this intimidating. I used to sit at the very back of lecture halls because I hated having to walk past rows of people, but you know what? My grades suffered for it. I’m an easily distracted human being with crippling ADHD and so being able to see everybody's computer screen was a nightmare for me. Half the class was watching movies or playing games or whatever so I didn't hear a damn word my teacher said. The closer I was to the front, the less distracting it was for me. Plus, I find that when I’m more familiar with being closer to my teachers it's easier and less intimidating for me to ask them for help or to re-explain things.

Two- Don’t be embarrassed, everybodys a mess and other people have your question.

The colleges I’ve been to have been nothing like highschool. We’re all in this together, we’re a suffering squad okay. So if you're too tired to ‘look good’ SICK half your class probably has not showered in like five days. Have a question that you think might make sound dumb? I can literally assure you that other people have the same question and pray somebody else will ask it. All of you are confused, it's okay.

Three - BUY YOUR TEXTBOOKS USED!!!!!

Oh my god I cannot stress this enough. For some reason professores and schools are out here hustling textbooks like starving soundcloud rappers. We don’t need that shit. Your school probably has a facebook group or two where students are selling their old textbooks much cheaper than you could get them in bookstores. And when I mean cheaper, I mean by like 100 - 200 dollars. If you're on a physical campus, lots of people put lists of what books they're selling on their lockers so keep an eye out for flyers as well.

Four - Join a club!

One of the things I really love about college is all the low pressure social situations. There's literally tons of clubs at most universities rankings from really open (First Year Social Club!!) to ridiuclously niche (We All Play Super Smash Brothers In Full Costume Once A Month) so its a great place to start when it comes to making new friends and finding some cool stuff to do!

Five - Don’t fall for the ‘too cool’ trap.

Lots of people have endless fun in college (like me) and some people really, really hate it. Personally, I think it has a lot to do with your attitude about being there. There's tons of pep rallies, carnivals, festivals and whatever else held by your school that can actually be super fun to attend but many people think they're ‘too cool’ for things like that. Don’t fall into this trap, I can assure you those that went to the events had like 9 billion times more fun.

Six - ASK FOR THE HELP THAT YOU NEED

This lesson took me so long to learn, but it was life changing once I did learn it. There's tons of resources available to you though most universities, and most of it was probably paid for through your tuition so it makes no sense to NOT access these things. See what your school offers for counseling services, stress reduction, learning activities held in the library, financial aid, make use of your teachers office hours, things like that. Crawl through your school’s website and see what they have to offer you, you can get some really really good life advice sometimes. If you’re falling behind in school work and need an extension, ask for it. Literally the worst thing that can happen is your teacher telling you ‘no.’ Which, honestly, in my near six years of schooling has literally only happened once and it was because the teacher personally didn’t like me.

Seven -- C’s Get Degrees

School Burnout Is REAL, she is sneaky, and she will hit you when you least expect it. I really struggle with having too high of expectations of myself when it comes to my work/life balance. This is the only year that I haven't worked at least 20 hours a week on top of full time university education and that only because of COVID and my immune issues, however for some reason I always expect myself to do like 3 - 4 hours of homework a day. Which is lunacy. At least it is for me. I literally cannot even count how many times I’ve put my grades before my physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental wellbeing. How many times I’ve forced myself to keep studying when I knew that I had already surpassed my limit hours ago because I thought that getting an A was more important than anything else. Especially myself. That’s not true.

You weren’t put on this earth to get straight A’s, you were put on this earth to be the best you that you can be.

So sometimes, you really do just gotta accept that ‘C’s get Degrees’ and you gotta close your textbook, go paint your nails, call your friend, and go to bed.

Eight -- Everything Can Be A Learning Experience

There are endless things to learn at college, and most of them aren't what the teachers are telling you. College is where I first learned that it really isn’t the end of the world to fail sometimes. It happens, it happens to everyone, but there's always something to learn from every ‘failure’ and part of it is how you can better handle failures in the future. It teaches you how to work with people, share ideas, and grow in your self-confidence. If you take the time to self-reflect when you find yourself struggling in aspects of your life in college, you can really learn a lot about yourself and how you present.

It was through self-reflecting on some of my peer interactions that I realized my vocabulary was creating a rift between me and them, as several people as it as a way of me purposefully trying to make myself seem ‘better’ or ‘more educated’ when in reality I just forget a lot of simple words and end up using some ridiculous monstrosity in casual sentences. The more I made that known about myself in interactions, and mentioning how much I read, helped my interactions because it helped people to better understand WHY I speak that way. This lesson has continued to help me throughout my life.

Nine -- Missing Lectures is a Slippery Slope

My attendance rate was already a lost cause by the time I got to University (my highschool almost didn't let me graduate because I had an 87% absentee rate and something like 300 missed detentions but I was 1 of 3 Full Honors Students and they wanted the funding so they ecentually let me lol) but I have watched many a student crawl into this 'Chronic Skipping' pit with me in my years. Im not really sure why it happens, but basically as soon as you miss 2 lectures for no concrete reason (like a dentist appointment or cause your sick or something) it's game over for you. You'll miss two classes, then three, then four, then 2 a week, then 3 a week. Then you start skipping other subjects too. Then you end up like me and suddenly its the end of the term and you realize you've only attended 4 entire classes, one of which was the first day and the other 3 were exams. (True story, that was my 8am Political Science Class in my second year)

I hope this helps somewhat!!!! Let me know if you have any specific questions!

And thank you lovely, I’m chugging along doing my best trying to get back into my creative bubble which for some reason seems to be rather elusive and hard to track down thus far.

#not tolkien #momma tolkien #tolkien mom things #collage tips #tips for collage #tips for university #answered asks #haleigh speaks

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yoonglie · 4 years ago

Text

Double Trouble | jjk.

⤞ pairing: jungkook x reader

⤞ genre: university!au, cursed!au, tutor!au, fluff fluff, angst, smut

⤞ summary: jeon jungkook isn’t who he says he is, and all you want to do is help.

⤞ word count: 13k

⤞ warning: smut, cursing, attempted sexual harassment (not from main characters)

a/n: this is inspired by the otome Cinderella Phenomenon, which revolves around fairytale curses (10/10 would recomMend), and this tiktok by @/taestyfeed (which is REALLY hot btw). Also it’s been a while since I wrote something omg im very rusty.

“Ugh Jimin I just don’t understand!” You dramatically threw your hands up, flinging your pen and slamming your face on the book in front of you. It was a good thing you both decided to hang out in the learning commons as opposed to the library, you were then able to groan your frustrations freely without being shushed so often.

Jimin laughed and patted your head “What even are you studying for?”

“Art appreciation” You grumbled as you lifted your head and propped it against your palm.

Jimin laughed even harder “Isn’t that supposed to be pretty easy?” He asked.

You snorted. “It isn’t as easy as easy as I though it was.”

“Well I’m sure you’ll get it soon. It’s getting pretty late and I’m sorry to be leaving you like this but I have to go, I fortunately don’t have any schoolwork going on and I’d rather spend the rest of my time watching netflix than listening to you groan your ass” He stuck his tongue out and you did as well.

You were thankful to have a best friend like Jimin but he really did suck sometimes. Sighing as you gave a small wave as he was nearing the exit, he sent a flying kiss your way. You just rolled your eyes.

Okay I can do this

You cracked your knuckles in an attempt to hype yourself and got down to work, jotting down some points along the way. You didn’t realize you were so into your work that you were mumbling audibly the topic you were reviewing on. It was a voice that made you stop.

“That’s wrong”

You look up and see a man across across the table to the left, holding a book. He has soft features and neatly swept straight hair. He looked really clean and presentable and the crisp white button up he was wearing really wrapped his whole look up. In short, he was cute... really cute.

You didn’t notice you were slightly staring until he tilted his head, lips pressed in a thin line but with curious doe eyes.

“Excuse me but what was wrong?” You asked.

“It was André Derain and Henri Matisse who were the leaders of the fauvism movement” He said simply and went right back to his book. You looked your notes and he was indeed right, you wrote down wrong names.

It was as if a light bulb shone above your head and as much as you didn’t want to do it, desperate times need... desperate measures.

You stood up and propped your elbows on the desk. You honestly couldn’t care how stupid or desperate you looked, you needed this.

“Are you good at this subject? art appreciation?” You hurriedly said.

The guy stared for a bit, noticeably taken aback and scratched the back of his neck “Uh, I guess?”

“Oh my god can you please please tutor me! I’ll uhh ah! I’ll tutor you too on any subject you like given that I took the class as well. Please, I’m not usually this dumb it’s just I took this class this semester thinking it was easy and did not pay attention this semester at all! I ended up flunking most my exams and I had to beg the professor not to fail me for the whole subject and so I ended up with a one-on-one presentation due in 3 weeks summarizing literally the whole semester so far! I’m at my wit’s end. Please help me” You beg, eyes even slightly watering. You weren’t usually this emotional but the stress and fatigue has definitely caught up to you.

You both were just looking at each other, you praying a silent prayer over in your mind. “Well... I am struggling with psychology a bit” He said sheepishly.

“Psychology? Great! I swear I am above average in terms of other subjects, it’s just this one subject that bit me in the ass. You don’t have to worry about me teaching you weird things.”

“It’s okay” He said.

You stuck out your hand to him “I’m Y/L/N Y/N”

He clasped his to yours a small smile gracing his face “I’m Jeon Jungkook, but please call me Kook”

———

“Wait wait, Jungkook as in THE Jeon Jungkook” Jimin asked while you both were eating lunch at the cafeteria.

“He prefers being called Kook but yes, what about him?” You said while sipping on your favorite strawberry drink.

Jimin leans forward a bit and with a hushed voice he said “Honestly Y/N be careful, I heard some weird things about him”

“Like what?” You said in an equally hushed voice.

“Despite his quiet demeanor he’s actually a beast after night, a real party goer” He said.

You let out a breath you were holding, slightly terrified you might have had a creep as a tutor but was relieved “That’s it? I mean what’s wrong with that? Being the life of a party doesn’t mean you have to be one at uni too, must be tiring”

He placed a hand under his chin “Hmm you may be right but I don’t know man, people didn’t really word it the nicest way so...” He clapped his hand once. “That’s it. I’m gonna meet this guy and make sure he’s not some sort of perv or something”

“I don’t need a babysitter” You said, rolling your eyes.

“Too bad, now let’s go. He might already be waiting” He pulled you up and you both went to the learning commons. True to what Jimin said he was there, with a book in hand.

“Hi I’m Park Jimin and I hope you take care of Y/-” You elbowed him in the stomach.

“Okay you had your introductions, please leave” You push Jimin out while Kook was sitting there dumbfounded at the two of you.

“Hey I wasn’t even finishe-”

“Out” You pushed him away.

Finally getting rid of him, you turned to Kook “I’m sorry about that”

“Seems like your boyfriend was a bit protective” He said with a shy smile.

You laughed a bit too loudly and wiped fake tears out of yours eyes “He’s not my boyfriend, he’s just an annoying little friend”

You noticed Kook slightly perking up at that but paid no mind.

“I see, anyway I can’t stay longer than 6pm so we better get started” He said as he started laying down learning materials for you. He came prepared as his station was littered with papers full of highlights and sticky notes.

Kook looked up to you who was mesmerized by all the materials he had... you looked kinda cute.

———

Kook started warming up to you three sessions in and since then you guys hit off pretty well. You realized how much of a gentleman he is, trying to explain the topics in a way that was digestible and easily remembered, knowing your time constraint. He was always motivating you and correcting you calmly even if you’ve said the wrong thing more than twice.

“No, the Psyche Revived by Cupid's Kiss was by-” He started saying

“Wait wait! don’t tell me yet. It was by Johann Zoffany” You said proudly, confident that you got it right this time.

Kook chuckled slightly and you swear it was like ambrosia for your ears. “No it was by Antonio Canova”

“Oh” You said dejectedly, sipping on your strawberry drink and propping your head up on the table while sighing. You were never good at names.

He noticed how disappointed you looked and, throwing away all caution, reached for your free hand, squeezing it.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get it” He said. You managed a weak smile.

You didn’t forget your end of the deal though. As payment for tutoring you, you were also tutoring him. He was a good student who listened intently to what you have to say, often asking relevant questions and picking up topics quickly. You really wondered why he needed help on this subject until he one day came a little late, an unusual thing for him, with a crestfallen look. Still, he tried to give you a small smile.

You both got to the usual routine of teaching you but noticed he was a bit off so you stopped him. “Hold on” You said.

“Sorry, was I too fast? Are you not getting anything?” He asked with a confused look.

“Yeah, you, I don’t get it” You said with a concerned look. He didn’t say anything which urged you to ask “Hey, what’s wrong?”

He leaned back on his chair and gave a deep sigh “I received my paper but I had a low mark. I thought I really did good this time. I’m sorry to disappoint you” He didn’t spare a minute telling you what was wrong.

You placed a hand on his shoulder “Hey that’s okay, I’m not disappointed at all. I’m proud of you for doing your best” You offered a smile to which he returned.

“Thanks” He held the hand that was placed on his shoulder, sending tingles down your spine. Skinship was usual now for the two of you but you don’t seem to be getting used to it, electricity racking your body with every touch.

“We’ll take the day off then” You said, removing your hand from him.

“What?” He asked.

“You clearly aren’t in the mood and that’s okay! You don’t have to force yourself to do anything you know” You started “I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“I’ll see you tomorrow” He said. His heart filled with gratitude.

You both even started sitting beside each other in class, so much that your usual seat mate for the class pouts whenever they don’t get to sit beside you anymore (although not minding after a while). The same goes with Kook’s friend Taehyung.

He arrived class early one time and spotted Kook with an empty seat beside him.

“Hey man” Taehyung was already putting his bag down when Kook blocked him.

“This seat’s taken” He quickly said, placing his own bag down.

“Since when do you reserve seats for others” Taehyung raised an eyebrow, Kook never acted like this.

“Since I realized you were too noisy” Kook rolled his eyes.

“Hey!” Taehyung pouted and got the seat in front of him instead

You got to the room and your eyes immediately tried to scan for Kook, seeing him on the side, you gave a slight wave and bounded over to him.

“Hey is this seat taken?” You asked

“Nope” He said.

Taehyung’s ears perked at the unfamiliar female sound conversing with his friend and looked. When he spotted them having a conversation he then realized Oh I get it.

“Hey, my name’s Kim Taehyung but you can call me Tae for short. I’m Kook’s friend” He said, surprising the two of you, beaming a boxy smile with arms stretched to shake your hand.

You shook it and smiled “Nice to meet you, I’m Y/L/N Y/N”

You, Kook and Tae became really good friends. You decided to introduce them to Jimin and he and Tae hit off really quickly, instantly becoming best friends while you and Kook, well, you don’t know how you feel about him. It’s true that you feel fluttering at the pit of your stomach whenever he touches or looks at you fondly, but you didn’t know if he felt the same so you tried suppressing the feelings.

But it doesn’t help when he constantly makes your heart jump at every chance he gets.

Head in between pages you groaned, not getting this bit of topic you were working on currently. Kook was very patient in trying to explain but you still weren’t get it and you were growing frustrated, especially since the presentation was nearing.

Kook had just came back from a so called toilet break when suddenly a strawberry drink was laid in front of you.

You perked up and sipped on the drink, sighing in slight content.

“What’s this for?” You asked him, the giver of this precious gift.

You see his ears that were tinted pink as he scratched the back of his neck “Well you looked really frustrated and I wanted to give you that as some stress reliever. I noticed you keep buying the same drink and deduced it was your favorite”

“It is! Thank you, you really didn’t have to” You said, beaming and heart warming at the kind gesture.

He dropped his shy demeanor after seeing how much you liked it and chuckled himself “Anything for you, angel”

You sputtered your drink and faced him “W-what? Angel?”

He placed a hand under his chin “Don’t like that? How about pumpkin? sweetie? munchkin?”

Your face reddened at every nickname and waved your hands in front of your face saying no the whole time

Kook laughed that beautiful laughed and pinched your cheek “I was just messing with you. Are in out of your head now? Best you get back to work”

You rubbed your sore cheek and looked down, trying to fight the grin that was itching its way to your face.

———

“Jimin, I absolutely CANNOT go to a party” You huffed at him across the table at lunch.

“But your presentation is still next week and it’s a friday night” He said pouting.

“Exactly! All the more I should focus” You scolded.

“But it’s Seokjin who’s throwing the party, the senior, and you know his parties are the bomb” He said whilst gripping your arm and mustering the cutest puppy beg face.

Seokjin did throw the wildest parties, you’ve seen it firsthand. You weren’t an avid party-goer like Jimin but you also didn’t avoid it, finding it fun, but you had priorities.

“I really can’t you know” You pinched your nose bridge, slightly annoyed he wasn’t letting this go.

“Tae will be there and I bet so will Kook”

That made you stop in your tracks. You forgot about the word that got around about Kook being a nice quiet boy in school but a beast at night, the life of the party. You haven’t really asked anything related to it, too engrossed in your study, but now it piqued your interest. How different will he be from the quiet gentleman who offers you a strawberry drink because you’re stressed? How will he be dressed? Does he entertain ladies who throw themselves to him? Surely there would be a few, he is a handsome fellow. That thought made your heart twinge.

“I see that got your attention” Jimin smirked “I guess I’ll see you tonight” Flicking you in the forehead, he got all his things and headed out.

You groaned and placed your hands to your face. One little party won’t hurt

You walked to the party, Jimin in tow, with your head a little bit high. You always dolled yourself up for these kinds of events but tonight you glammed yourself extra special, not because you wanted to get a certain someone’s attention no. You were looking for a certain someone when suddenly Taehyung came into view

“Jimin! Hey Y/N you came!” Tae said, sporting his beaming smile “Jimin was dead set in trying to get you to come and I’m glad he did cause you look hot” He grabbed your hand and placed it above your head, twirling you all while you were laughing.

It was then that you spot him. Kook was chatting with a bunch of seniors at a counter and he looks absolutely STUNNING. He was clad in all black, silver accessories adorning his ears, neck and fingers, with his hair long and wavy. He was dripping with confidence, from the way he stands to the way he talks, the people clearly interested in what he has to say. You notice upperclassmen Namjoon and Hoseok that seemed closest to him.

It was Tae’s voice that snapped you out of your thoughts “I know you want to talk to him but it’s better that you do later on or just back in uni” He cautiously said.

Respecting his privacy and time with friends, you nodded.

“I got the booze!” Jimin said, handing you a cup as Tae already had one. You didn’t even notice him leave.

A few drinks later, you were buzzed and confident, ready to take on whatever comes at you.... literally. You bumped into Kook and looked up at him. He tilted his head to the side in confusion but a smirk eventually etched itself to his face. Your heart started beating loudly, in rhythm with the pounding of your head.

“I see” Those were the words that he said as he left.

You blinked once then twice, hurt at the fact that he didn’t even acknowledge you. Then grabbing him by the arm, you made him face you to which earned you a glare as he ripped his arm from your grasp, looking at you disgustingly. “What do you think you’re doing?” He asked.

“You” You pointed at his face “Have been ignoring me the whole night”

He towered over you in an attempt to make you cower in fear but it didn’t have an effect on you, annoyance fueling your system. “Ignoring you? Sweetheart I don’t even know you” The way he says your newfound nickname was sweet, sickeningly sweet that it was unlike the way he usually talks to you, with bite lacing each word.

You backed away slightly with hurt. He doesn’t know you? Was he pretending he didn’t know you so he wasn’t going to be embarrassed in front of his friends? You honestly didn’t know why he was acting like this.

“Did you forget about my existence? Why are you acting like a dick so suddenly?” You huffed, looking away and getting more pissed at every second. Alcohol not really helping your temper.

He grabbed your chin a little too harshly and tilted it up so that your eyes would meet. He had a small smile on his face but nothing about it was sincere “I don’t know you and you don’t know me. My name’s JK, darling and I don’t owe you any explanations. Now I suggest you go and never approach me again to save yourself from being an embarrassment” He winked and backed away from you, eventually leaving.

It’s like you’ve been doused with cold water, immediately sobering up though your head was anything but clear. You were hurt and angry and confused. Tae and Jimin found you, but you said nothing and left.

Monday rolled around and you were actively avoiding Kook. You didn’t sit beside him in class anymore and though he was slightly sad about it, it got worse when you suddenly came up to him just before your supposed tutoring session would start.

“I’m gonna learn by myself from now on, thank you for your effort but I don’t need it anymore” You huffed and Kook became confused

“Did I do something wrong?” He asked, his heart slightly twinging and hands clammy.

“So you just suddenly remember my existence now but you’re embarrassed to be seen with me in front of your friends?” You said, lips pressed in a tight line.

You saw Kook clench his hands, his face darkening. It’s as if he remembered something horrible, but he did not say a word. You sighed and walked away. Kook didn’t know why he didn’t stop you but he was livid. It was as if his body remembers what to do in situations like these and he hated it, he hated that monster.

You thought it would be better now that you’re ignoring each other, you could get more focus, but you were anything but focused. Kook’s strange behavior definitely plagued your mind but you weren’t going to do anything about it until he apologizes. You gave him a chance but was met with disappointment. Tae and Jimin definitely noticed the drift between the two of you, not hanging with them as often as you all did. You told them it was because you were prioritizing the presentation but saw through your bullshit excuses which caused them to pester you until you told them what happened. Tae honestly couldn’t stand the tension, wanting the best for the both of them, especially Kook. It’s been a while since Kook acted like this, and he can definitely tell he cares about her a lot. Throwing all caution aside he thought This is for the best, I’m sorry Kook.

Tae called you and Jimin at the lunch table, relieved Kook wasn’t with them “What’s this super important meeting for?” Jimin asked.

“It’s about Kook” He started, he noticed how uncomfortable you looked and continued “Just hear me out... it’s just, I can explain why he acted that way” Despite being still angry, you leaned forward in curiosity.

“He was actually born with a curse, a curse that caused him to have two alter egos, two entities, though both of them are still him. The one that fronts in the day is Kook but the one that fronts at night is JK, the one you met” Tae said. You were shocked. Two alters? That explains the rude behavior at the party. That actually wasn’t Kook.

“So the one that everyone has been calling a beast at night is actually this JK dude?” Jimin asked and Tae nodded.

“Yeah, he loves partying but I don’t like him. He’s.... a handful”

You placed both your hands to your face “Oh my god I feel like shit. He should’ve told me!” You exasperated.

“He doesn’t wan’t a lot of people knowing his secret, both of them don’t” Tae smiled sheepishly

“Well thank you for telling me anyway. Now... do you know where he is?” You asked, determined to apologize.

“He’s always at the learning commons after school, kind of hoping you’d come back if i’m honest” You groaned at that and headed out.

Kook sighed and looked at the clock, thinking whether he would go home or continue to wait for you, though you said you weren’t going to study with him anymore. He suddenly saw you burst through the door and he stood up, with you tackling him in a bear hug.

“I’m so so sorry Kook! Tae told me about it all and I’m so sorry” You said as you pressed your face against the crook of his neck.

Kook’s ears burned red as your sweet smell enveloped him. Your warmth made him feel safe and though it’s only been a few days, he missed this, he missed you. He thought that this was worth Tae telling them so he wasn’t going to get mad at him.

“Hey it’s okay” Was what he said after you broke the hug and proceeded to sit down.

"Our parents apparently angered a spirit back when my mom was pregnant but really didn't pay attention to it. When we were born they noticed something was wrong quickly and took us to get examined only to find out we were cursed. I front in the day most times, while he does at night. We can’t really be out for so long because our bodies get tired easily, leading for the other body to take over. We had a difficult childhood but eventually got into a routine. Doesn't mean I like him though, he's a real pain in the ass" Kook explained, ruffling his hair.

"Are both going to be like this forever? Can the curse be broken?" You asked with caution.

"I heard them say something along the lines of 'when the sun and moon meet' but I don't know what that means. Despite sharing the same consciousness, I don't really get to meet this guy. It's impossible" He exasperated, frustration bubbling in his gut although it went quickly as it came, already accepting this fate throughout the years.

“Have you tried sending notes to each other?” You asked.

He hummed in agreement “Yes, voice messages too. Nothing worked”

He sighed although he felt relieved that the secret is finally out but slightly worried what you might think of him. The worry washed away though as you reached your hand to grab his, a radiant smile he so loved along the way. Wait loved?

“Anyway!” He sprung up, clapping his hands. A twinge of pink dusted across his cheeks “We gotta get you ready for the presentation tomorrow”

“I’m fine you know-” You started.

“Nope, all focus on you now, we gotta get you ready” He said with determination.

“Alright, thank you” You chuckled and you both got started on the preparation.

You were pacing around, bouncing on your toes. Fingers quickly going through the flashcard in your hands, mumbling the topics under your breath.

“You know you’re gonna get more nervous if you keep doing that” Tae stated but you heard nothing, fully immersed in your almost literal last minute review.

Jimin grabbed both your shoulders to make you stop “Hey, quit pacing around. You’re gonna do fine”

“I’m just so nervous Chim” You said, still slightly swaying to alleviate the uneasiness.

“We know you are babe, but if you keep doing that, you’re going to get more nervous” Jimin explained.

You took a deep breath to try to steady your heart and looked at them “Okay I’m going in. Wish me luck”

Tae and Jimin gave you a thumbs up while Kook suddenly patted your head. Leaning in close to your ear, you could feel his breath tickle your cheek. Your ears warmed and your breath hitched at your throat. “You can do it, angel” He said and pulled away.

You finished the presentation with ease. The weeks worth of tutoring with Kook definitely paid off. The professor mentioned how he will announce the fate of your grade in the following weeks so you were still slightly nervous but nonetheless, you feel a great weight being lifted off your shoulders. Because of that, you actually found yourself thinking more about Kook, with the newfound information actually sinking in.

When the sun and moon meet you thought. The phrase repeating over and over in your mind. You felt the pain Kook went through because of mere misunderstanding and you don't want that. You want him to be happy, you want them both to be happy, even if the other him can be kind of rude. So you gathered and told them about your plan.

“Okay okay let me get this straight, YOU want to try and break their curse by doing... exactly what??” Jimin asked, dumbfounded. They were shocked about your sudden want to help but it just made you more frustrated knowing that there was a way out and no one tried to help.

“Well” You started "I don't know exactly what i'll do but it's better if I knew more about him first right?" You asked

"He's not really someone you'd like to know personally. Like what you experienced, he can be very overbearing and hard to deal with" Tae warned "I had some instances with the guy too and it was not pretty"

A hand gripped yours "But if it's something you'd like to do then who are we to stop you. I'm grateful that you're willing to do this for me... for us" Kook said, squeezing your hand. You smiled at him.

"Well if you wanna know his whereabouts, it's better to ask Namjoon and Hoseok" Tae said.

"The upperclassmen?" Jimin asked.

Tae nodded "Yeah, they're closest to JK and are usual party buddies. They know about the curse too. I've talked to them a couple times and they're actually pretty nice." He explained. You placed a hand under your chin and nodded as well

"Alright then, let me pay them a visit"

You bounced on your toes, pretty nervous about meeting them. You had no problem talking to upperclassmen but something about being JK's friends put you on edge, like you have to be of certain standard to them. Finally you saw them walking in the hallway, laughing. You went to them and introduced yourself.

"Hey! I'm sorry to be disturbing. My name's Y/N and I don't know if JK told you about me or not but if he did then-"

"Oh you're the girl who was clinging on to him the whole night" The guy, who you assumed was Hoseok based on the description Tae gave you, exclaimed. He had a wide grin on his face and his voice had a bubbly tone to it. Way different from what you expected from JK's friends.

"Oh right yeah that's me" You said sheepishly, scratching your neck."Don't worry about it, it's not like you're the first to do that. We apologize on his behalf if he was being pissy about it" Namjoon said, sighing.

"Right, well, I have a favor to ask" You said to which earned you a raise of eyebrows."I know about their curse and I personally want to help. Would you be kind enough to tell me if you guys have plans and where it would be? I kind of wanna make amends and start over with him" You explained.

The two of them looked at each other in shock and to you with curiosity. A smirk etched on Namjoon's face.

"Sure" Namjoon said. They didn't hesitate to give you the address to the downtown club they were going to tonight.

"See you tonight, nice girl!" Hoseok exclaimed as he waved goodbye, a big smile still adorning his face.

Alright, I can do this.

Walking to the club they invited you tonight, you gulped. They sounded like nice people and was pretty sure they didn't send you to the wrong location but you were still kind of doubtful, looks can be deceiving anyway.

The doubt washed away when you finally spot JK. Still in an all black ensemble, which you can only guess was his favorite shade, hair a wavy mess at the same time still look put together. You took a deep breath and bounded over to him. He caught your gaze to which he returned with a glare.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, clearly annoyed as he crossed his arms.

"I'm sorry to be so sudden but I know about the curse" You said the last part in a volume you know he'd be the only one to hear

"And I just want to apologize for my actions the last time we met" You said.

His face contorts even more and you were sure he hated you right at the moment "Looks like you're here to observe me then. Is it fascinating to you, sweetheart? Finding someone like us who's so different from everyone else? Should I set you up with a private zoo show?"

Your eyes went wide as saucers "No! no absolutely not! I just- I wanted to just introduce myself" You held a hand out for him to shake "My name's Y/L/N Y/N" You exclaimed, praying you guys wouldn't have misunderstandings anymore. You offered him a smile to show him you were sincere.

There was something about that smile. JK didn't like trusting people anymore but there was something about that smile that felt so warm and familiar. Of course she was familiar, she's probably with Kook. He got annoyed and looked away.

He avoided your gaze for a long time but noted how his features softened for a second before. He clicked his tongue, rubbing his nose bridge before leaving without saying another word. Your hand still raised in the air.

Anger bubbled but you pushed them down, taking a swig of alcohol. You sighed and began to question your decisions until two people stood in each of your side. You realized it was Namjoon and Hoseok as they offered you their glasses to clink with.

"Cheers for a rough night?" Namjoon asked and you snorted as you took another sip.

"I don't even know what I'm doing anymore" You told them, dejection evident in your demeanor.

"We're sorry that you're dealing with this but... I hope you don't give up on him easily" Hoseok pleaded "It's not everyday someone comes up to us and tells us they want to help the them"

"Have you?" You ask them.

"We tried but he would never tell us how we could be of help. He also told us to stay away from Kook and his friends or else he wouldn't be friends with us anymore" Namjoon explained "We didn't want to lose the friendship we fought hard to build. We see how lonely he is sometimes and we didn't really want to contribute to that. Plus he's nice if he wants to" He chuckled.

Your heart twisted, guilty for even thinking of giving up. The both of them have been hurting in their own way and it's unfair to give special treatment to just one.

"Do you know where he goes when you guys don't have any party plans?" You ask with newfound determination. They felt grateful as they beamed at you."He goes to a book cafe near here. Since he doesn't go to school in the day, he misses out on the lessons. Though he still gets the information absorbed by Kook, it just isn't as sharp. He makes up for it by reading a lot" Namjoon explained and your heart swelled.

You took a swig of your bottle and placed it down loudly on the table "Alright then" You exclaimed as you wiped a bit if liquid staining around your mouth.

"Atta girl, I guess we'll see you around then" Hoseok chuckled.

The next night you trekked to the said book cafe. It was very quaint inside, the smell of coffee that hit your nose instantly calming you. The ambience was very tranquil as soft music played in the background. You noticed how there weren't many people in the cafe so it was easy to spot him this time. He was sitting at the very far corner, a book in hand. You were amused at how he very much looks like Kook when we waits for you but you but had to remind yourself that this is a very different person. His black clothes contrasting the white that Kook loves to wear. As you came closer, the difference became more evident as his wavy hair came into view. When he looked up from his book, he grimaced.

"Okay are you fucking stalking me?" He exasperated as he nearly slammed his book down and crossed his arms, a repeat of what happened in the party.

You stare at each other for a few uncomfortable seconds before you broke the silence

"I really didn't expect to find you in a place like this" What?

"Oh cause you think I party every night, do drugs and bring girls home right?" His glare challenging and menacing, a look that clearly says 'get away from me'. your eyes widened as it dawned unto you what you said because truth to be told, you were kind of thinking that about him. It made you sick.

"I'm really sorry! I just want to apologize for my behavior and for um creeping you out. If you want me to stop then I will but can I at least share a bit of your time now?" You asked, pleading with your eyes. You want to be as sincere as you can to him and you really hope he'd let you in.

JK was confused. It should've been easy to to just say no. One word and she'd be on her merry way.... then why on earth was he not able to say it? fuck

"Fine, you can stay" was what he said instead. You perked up and took a seat across from him. He rolled his eyes.

"Let me introduce myself properly for the second time then. I'm y/l/n y/n and I'm Ko-"

"I know who you are. I don't know what your relationship is exactly with Kook but I know you're on his mind a lot. Are you his girlfriend or something? How did you meet?" He expected a blush or some sort of shy reaction. He knows the effect Kook had on people, he hates him but he's not ignorant.

So he was surprised when he was met with you shaking your head instead "No and I'm not really here to talk about Kook. I'm here because... I want to be friends with you, nothing in return for me. I just want to get to know you"

You looked serious enough that he knew you weren't kidding but he was flabbergasted. No one really wanted to know him like that. All the people he's met either wanted a trophy friend or a trophy fuck. Having a pretty well off background didn't really help. For once, he commended Kook on having such an interesting plaything.

"What's the catch?" He asked, arms still crossed.

"Catch? Nothing. I just want to get to know you so that i'll be able to help. I know how the curse can be broken and although I don't exactly know what to do, maybe I can start by being friends with you" You explained

Ah, he gets it "I see, you're doing this for your beloved Kook then" He said, suddenly taking an interest in the table.

"I'm doing this for the both of you" You said.

Whatever, it's been a while since something spiced up his life anyway. Maybe you'll last long enough.

"Okay" He simply said.

You were surprised "Okay? I mean alright! Okay, that's great" You chuckled in relief "I'll see you tomorrow night then?" You asked, hopeful.

"I have plans" He said and you deflated a bit. He saw and sighed. "I'm free saturday afternoon" He said after a short while.

You perked up "Oh! I didn't know you front in the day?" You tilted your head.

"Am I a vampire or something? Of course I do. I'm out during weekends" He scoffed.

———

"I really feel like I'm getting somewhere guys!" You tell them over lunch

"That's great y/n. I hope you sort this out quickly though. Kookie here has been moping around ever since your attention has been divided" Tae playfully teased.

Kook kicked him from under the table to which Tae grunted "I do not!" He exclaimed with red cheeks. You only chuckled.

"So what are your plans then?" Jimin asked.

"Well, I did alot of thinking but I hope this really helps him" You excitedly said.

True to agreement, you and JK met up during the weekend at the same cafe, with books at hand.

"Oh sweetheart I really thought you were different but you're as boring as the others" He said, an elbow propped to the table as he lazily sipped on his iced coffee.

You tilted your head at him, still sorting the books "What do you mean?"

"I half expected you to bring me somewhere exciting but as I expected, I am disappointed" He sighed.

"Oh shut up" You said as you flicked his forehead. He jumped slightly in surprise, glaring at you.

"What's all this, a tutoring session?" He snorted.You beamed and clasped your hands together

"Exactly" You said with a mischievous smile "I heard that you don't really grasp school concepts as vivid as Kook's so I'm here to help you" You smiled at him.

Although he looks as stoic as ever, you knew from the slight twinge of red on his ears that you've elicited some sort of reaction from him.

He cleared his throat and crossed his arms "How do I know you're not bullshitting me? For all I know you have straight D's in your card" He said.

You fake gasped and placed a hand to your chest "Excuse me, if you notice yourself getting better at psychology it's because of me, mister" You pointed out.

He scoffed while absentmindedly flipping through the books you laid out in front of him.

"Then prove it to me" He looked at you with challenge in his eyes and oh boy you were definitely gonna give it to him.

A few subjects later and JK called for a break. A sarcastic remark is dancing at the tip of your tongue but opted to let it show through your eyes instead. He rolled his as he took a sip from his iced coffee.

"I still doubt half the things you taught me were correct" He said, playing with the rings on his fingers.

"Oh they were definitely correct" You slumped on your chair, pretty tired yourself as you sipped on your own drink.

Silence hung over the two of you and unlike earlier, it was way more comfortable and tolerable now. You were lightly tapping your fingers on the table to the rhythm of the soft music playing in the background while he was flipping through the pages of the books, not really reading the content inside. This is it, this was your chance to bond, to talk about something other than academics. You were thinking of a question to ask... anything. Racking your brain of something to say you said "How long does it take to style your hair everyday?" You were slightly embarrassed by such a trivial question but it was better than nothing.

He chuckled slightly, a sound you notice is darker than Kook's light airy laugh "Darling, I'm all natural" He said, a smirk etched in his face "This curse make it look like we're sharing a body but it's all different too. When I front, my hair naturally becomes wavy. When he fronts, it goes straight again. Same goes with wounds too, unless they're pretty deep. When I get a small graze, he usually doesn't get it" He explained.

"I see" You said. You get what he's talking about, that's the reason why he even looked off the minute you saw him. Not only was he not Kook, he physically isn't Kook as well. Kook has softer and rounder features while JK has the slightest edges to his face, cheeks and jawline more prominent.

"You staring at me, sweetheart?" His smirk never fading "But I get it, must be tiring to look at someone so ugly all the time"

You snorted "You do know you guys share most facial features right" You said.

"Oh? Then how about I let your discover what's different about our bodie-"

"Let's get back to learning shall we!" You squeaked as your cheeks reddened. He only chuckled.

You were glad you had some sort of progress with him but it slightly frustrates you that you only gathered minimal information throughout the weeks, though you've gotten more comfortable with each other now, throwing banter here and there. But it’s okay, you’ve just got to be more patient.

“Clearly my answer is correct” He argued.

You rolled your eyes “No you are most definitely wrong” crossing your arms in annoyance.

“Okay i’ll gather people who will support my claim then” He huffed.

“Do you realize you talk too much?” You squinted at him, more annoyed now.

“And do you realize you’re being a big prissy?” He countered.

“Am not!” You exclaimed. If you can drill holes with your stare then you would have by now

“Okay then, if you’re right you can ask me to buy anything for you” He offered

“And if you’re right?” You asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

He tapped a finger under his chin as if to think “How about I get one date with you” He said with confidence and your cheeks flared up.

“Absolutely not!” You exasperated, hurriedly cleaning up the materials laid out on the desk.

“Why? scared i’ll be right?” He chortled while sticking out his tongue. You flicked him on the way out.

He was way more stubborn than Kook that’s for sure, always questioning and challenging you. Despite all that, he is very bright. He picks up topics as easily as he could challenge you, which doesn’t come as a surprise as you can tell he’s an avid reader. When you both started warming up to each other was when you notice how much of a nice person he is behind the hard exterior.

He placed a strawberry drink in front of you. You felt the strongest deja vu and realized Kook did the same thing for you.

You looked at the drink fondly and then up at him. “What? Kook did the same for you too huh?” He huffed and sat down, looking the slightest bit dejected. He absolutely saw through you.

You then realized how much you were thinking about Kook and it felt unfair. Maybe it’s because you feel a slight swarm in your stomach ready to flutter whenever JK calls you that nickname that used to disgust you but now have grown accustomed to it, or the way his eyes bore into yours, a slight smirk on his lips whenever you explain a topic thoroughly to which he calls you a nerd afterwards. Maybe it’s because he’s been endearing lately and you don’t want to have to choose, opting to direct all your feelings to Kook instead. But that seemed wrong.

Shaking your head out of the trance, you offered a small smile to him “No he didn’t, thank you” You lied.

He didn’t say anything afterwards and that prompted you to slip a small tease “I didn’t know you can be so nice” You said, sipping on your drink, waiting for a response.

“Oh darling I can be bad, if you’d let me show you” He said in a sultry voice, wiggling his eyebrows. You only rolled your eyes and smacked him slightly on his arm.

———

You were checking your emails until you stumbled upon an email from your art professor. Your heart started beating loudly. You completely forgot about the announcement. Your cursor hovered over the email, silently praying for a passing grade.

Please please please

The word passed came out in bold and you squealed. All the hard work with Kook did not go to waste and you were extremely elated. You checked your clock which read 8:43. Kook must be gone by now and you’d have to wait until next week to tell him, but you were impatient. Getting dressed, you went out in search for JK.

Opening the doors to the book cafe you’ve gotten used to, you spotted JK in his usual corner, your usual corner now as well.

“Well you’re early. I thought we wouldn’t have another session till tomorrow” He said, confused.

“I passed art appreciation oh my god!” You squeaked excitedly, bouncing on your toes.

“Isn’t that shit easy?” He asked, tilting his head.

Your cheeks puffed as you pouted “Hey! I was having a hard time okay” You crossed your arms “Anyway, can I borrow Kook tomorrow? I promise we’ll get right back next week. I just need to thank him for helping me out on this one” You explained.

JK’s face darkened “Why? You see him nearly everyday and you’re gonna start seeing him on weekends too?”

You were surprised at the sudden bite that laced his words “It’s only for a day plus I don’t get to see him the way I do with you in uni” You explained.

“Fine whatever” was what he said before going back to the book that he was reading. He doesn’t care- he shouldn’t care.

Shrugging your shoulders, you walked out of the cafe, excitement filling you up again. What you didn’t notice was JK staring at you, a big frown on his face, as you left.

The next day, you invited Kook over at your apartment, delicious food ready on the table. You only ever had Jimin at your place before and although you should feel nervous, you were quite calm.

“What’s the celebration for?” Kook asked, eyeing the food

“Well” You started “I passed art appreciation!” You announced, a big smile on your face.

His eyes widened as his face broke into a grin as well. He suddenly tackled you in a big hug and spun you around, the both of you laughing. “I knew you can do it, angel! I’m really proud of you” He said as he set you down.

Red dusted both of your cheeks at the contact and you dragged him over to the living room “I know it’s not much but I wanna thank you for the help by treating you to good food and a good movie marathon” You sheepishly said, not making eye contact.

He placed a hand to your shoulder “It’s amazing, Y/N. I love it” He truly was grateful.

A full tummy and a few movies later you were both knocked out, not really paying attention to the movie anymore, though it was still playing. It was getting dark meaning Kook would probably have to leave as JK would front sooner or later, probably still annoyed he didn’t get to front in the day when it was the weekend. You didn’t want him to go though.

“I have a question” You said lazily. He hummed in acknowledgement as you continued “Do you guys share memories?” You asked.

“Sometimes we do, only in fragments though. We mostly share emotions, usually only when they’re strong. Other than that, I completely do not know what is happening in that guy’s life” He explained.

You nodded as you understood and yawned. You scooted closer to him, finding solace in his warmth and he welcomed you, placing his arms around your shoulder to pull you closer. You placed your head on his chest and let the steady thump of his heartbeat calm you.

Kook felt like he was gonna combust, with you all curled up against him, your warmth filling his senses, he didn’t know how to think. He watched as your body slightly rose and fell from breathing and mimicked the tempo. He subconsciously ran his hand through your hair to which earned him a small moan, almost inaudible but it still reached his ears. He stopped in his tracks.

“Y/N” He said in a small voice. You looked up and was met with an unreadable expression.

Placing a gentle hand at the back of your neck, he pressed his forehead against yours. You both were staring at each other, not moving as to not break the trance. Slowly, he placed his lips on yours in a feather-like kiss. Seeing how you didn’t feel repulsed by the action prompted him to land his lips on yours again. Your hands reached for his hair to deepen the kiss as his other hand roamed your back, tingles running down your spine with each touch. But before anything can get truly heated, he pulled away.

“I better get going, JK is going to kill me for being out too much” Kook said in almost a whisper of a voice. He chuckled when he saw you pouting and placed a hand on your cheek. “I’ll see you soon, angel” He said as he leaned forward to press his lips against the other cheek.

You couldn’t really sleep that night. The kiss with Kook still replaying on your mind. Your thoughts drifted to JK, when the erratic beating of your heart calmed down, and you somehow got anxious about the thought of meeting him. Would he get mad you spent the weekend with Kook instead of him? He probably is.

You didn’t have to think too hard because you were tapping your fingers on the table of your usual spot, JK nowhere in sight. It was already dark and you’d hoped for too long he was only running late but no- he totally stood you up. Getting irked, you gathered your things and went out the door. You were standing outside the cafe when you thought about what you should do. Should you just go home or find him? One thing you absolutely hated was getting stood up and your anger would probably dissipate by the time next weekend rolls around so why not just release out now?

Fishing for the phone in your pocket, you silently thank yourself for getting Namjoon’s number. You texted if he knew where JK was and rang him once to alert him. You were getting more impatient by the minute. Fortunately Namjoon texted back fairly quickly, giving you the address of the club they were in.

“That little shit” You said to yourself as you stormed to where they would be in a fit of rage.

Coming to a club wearing casual clothes and a tote bag full of books didn’t really help blend you in. You were a goldfish in a school of betta fishes. The initial adrenaline was starting to come down as you were frantically looking for familiar faces. This club was more packed than the ones you go to and it was getting harder to breathe by the minute, the stench of alcohol and drugs making your head hurt. You were starting to notice the stares you got from people as you occasionally bump into one and you were getting more insecure. The blaring music and flashing lights made your head pound even more. You were trying to find the phone you slipped in your bag when you suddenly felt it... a hand on your ass.

Flicking your head to where the hand was coming from, you were met with a very intoxicated man, eyes roaming your body. You pushed his hand away, quaking in fear but he only grabbed your wrist.

“Let me go” You pleaded as you struggled out of his grasp.

The hand was quickly ripped off when an arm snaked around your waist to push you behind their back.Your whole body trembled but you got the courage to look up to find out who your savior was.

JK’s eyes were filled with absolute fury as he was sizing up the guy “She said let go” He said through gritted teeth.

The man scoffs. “Your bitch has some nerve going here” He mocked.

Something snaps in JK as he lands the first punch square to his nose. The guy stumbles backward, holding his face. He spits blood as he threw a punch to JK as well, the rings he was wearing scratching his face. Soon enough it became a full on brawl, punches and kicks thrown everywhere as they moved around, occasionally breaking something along the way. The bouncers finally came and pulled them off each other, hauling them by the collar of their shirts outside. Someone tapped your shoulder and you flinched.

“Sorry” A voice you recognize as Hoseok rang through your eyes as relief washed over your body. You looked at both Hoseok and Namjoon with concern as JK was still being escorted out.

“Take care of him will you?” Namjoon asked as you nodded, still not finding the strength to speak after what happened.

You followed JK out the door and found him wiping the blood off of his cheek, anger still littered his eyes. He was avoiding your gaze but looked when you softly held his hand.

“You... come on” You dragged him until you reached your apartment, not uttering a word the whole way.

You were met with the dark empty space, JK still silent as he took in his surroundings, occasionally wiping the blood off his face. You took him to the bathroom and made him sit on the toilet while you find a first aid kit.

“I’ll be right back” You told him. He only looked at you with a blank face but his eyes trailed over to you as you went away.

When you got back, a wet towel in hand, you loomed over him to get a better look. He had a busted lip and gashes from where the rings hit his cheek, thankful that it wasn’t deep enough that it would need stitches. You gently placed a hand under his chin to tilt his face slightly as you started dabbing the wet cloth over his wounds. His eyes bore into yours as he sported a pained look

“Suck it up you big baby, that’s what you get for picking a fight” You scolded, as you continued to wipe the blood off his face and treating the wounds with antiseptic.

“A thank you would be nice you know” He croaked, now averting his eyes from your gaze.

You stopped whatever you were doing and looked at him. “Thank you, but I’m still mad at you for standing me up today” You said as you starting dabbing on his face again, this time on the corner of his mouth. “God Kook’s going to kill you for messing up your faces”

He grabbed your wrist and placed it down, making you drop the towel in your hand. “Can you for one second shut up about Kook”

He stood up and snaked an arm around your waist as the other laid at the back of your neck. He pinned you against the tiled wall as he slammed his lips against yours. Your cheeks flared up as you subconsciously raised a hand to his head and fisted his hair, to which elicited a groan from him. The hand on your waist was strong as he gripped you hard, a bruise sure to mark wherever his hand touched, but you didn’t mind. He moved back as he sat on the toilet, you being brought along with him all while not breaking the heated kiss. His hands roamed up and down your body as you were basically straddling him, trailing his kisses down south to your neck. You moaned and shifted your weight to a better position but soon realized the effect it had on him, a growing tent from right under your core. He kissed you back on the lips before pulling back, the both of you breathing heavily.

He was still dangerously close to your face, his breath tickling your cheeks. “Do you know how annoying it is to have Kook’s pesky feelings practically take over mine too? You both are annoying little shits”

Your eyes widened as you hurriedly got off of him. He dusted himself off before making his way out of the bathroom. Noticing your balcony, he wasted no time going there, needing a breather.

You pressed your back against the wall as you put a hand over your chest, feeling the heavy thumping of your heart. You were still breathing heavily as you tried to process what just happened. You felt slightly guilty for being unfair to Kook but you both haven’t talked about the kiss after it happened so it wasn’t like you were his girlfriend. Meanwhile, JK’s touches were like fire. You note the growing wetness on your core thinking about how he slid his hands up and down your thigh, coming dangerously close every time he slid it up. You shook your head in an attempt to rid yourself from such thoughts.

You figured he needed to cool and down and you gave him just that. Taking a break yourself, you finally calmed down. You took a water bottle from the fridge and headed to the balcony. You saw him looking at the view, moon illuminating his features as both his elbows were propped up on the railing, despite his slightly messed up face, he was gorgeous.

Oddly calm and unembarrassed despite what transpired moments ago, you tapped the water bottle on his arm. “Here” You said as he took the bottle and had a sip. You both were just looking at the view, not speaking a word until you decided to break the silence “Can I ask?” You said.

He looked at you from the side, eyebrow arching but nodded which prompted you to continue “Why do you hate Kook so much?” You asked.

He turned over to you and gave a deep sigh. He stared at you in silence for a few seconds before speaking. “I had to hide because of him. I was always pretty mischievous and I guess my parents wanted a prim and proper child- an obedient one. Kook was everything I’m not” He looked at his shoes, pain evident in his eyes “They thought I was a menace to Kook’s perfect life and treated me as if I wasn’t their child. I was forced to stay in the dark, literally, ever since I was a kid. It was so fucking lonely, Y/N. Everyone was either tired or asleep at night, I had no one to play with or talk to. When I got a bit older, I found out about clubs that were open all through the night and basically got addicted to partying since then” He said, raw emotion dripping in his voice.

“Not to be rude but, were you not physically able to front at daytime?” You cautiously asked.

“I wanted to impress my parents. I wanted to prove to them that I can be as obedient as anyone else, so when they told me to only come out at night, I followed. After a while it basically became a routine, so much that my body just naturally comes out at night and was tired in the early morning. Because of that, I never really got to bond with my parents, and they never really got to know me” He sighed before he furrowed his eyebrows in anger, hands clasped in fists. “I fucking hate Kook”

You reached out for his first and uncurled it, lacing your fingers around it instead. “You’re strong for being able to withstand all that” You said as you cupped his cheek, his expression softening at your touch. “I’m here if you need me” You told him. He offered you the smallest of smiles as you pulled away.

“I gotta go” He said as the both of you made your way to the door. He was about to go before he stopped in his tracks. He swiveled around to face you before placing a hand behind your head and pulling you in for another kiss, his teeth catching your bottom lip in a small bite “I’m sorry I stood you up, sweetheart” He said, the sickeningly sweet tone back again as he closed the door. Your heart was pounding again as thoughts danced around in your head.

Ugh I need sleep

But you couldn’t sleep. You thought about JK and what he had to go through and figured that it’s best to let Kook know about this, maybe it’s a step closer to breaking the curse. Filled with determination, you finally let sleep take over you.

———

You examined the bruises he left on on your hip, frowning as you traced the deep purple marks. You got dressed and set out to look for Kook.

He met you in the learning commons, fond memories lacing this place. There weren’t many people here yet, which you thought was perfect. Kook finally arrived at he set his things down and sat beside you.

“So what did you want to talk about?” He asked, head tilted to the side.

“Well” You started, fidgeting your thumbs. Taking a deep breath, you looked at him “So I had a talk with JK lately”

Kook’s eyebrows furrowed “And?” He edged you on.

You explained what went on in his life, particularly his childhood. You told him how he felt lonely and sad and that he was mistreated by their parents. Kook seemed to understand as he was nodding but he wasn’t looking at you with gleeful eyes anymore. Instead, he had a blank expression on his face, his eyes completely lifeless as he listened to you speak. For a moment you thought it was JK who you were talking to until you took in his appearance again. No this is definitely Kook.

“So I just think... that you should go easy on him. Yes you’ve been hurt but so is he. It would be better if you’d understood each other’s pains” You explained.

Then, something else burned in his eyes, it was something you were completely not used to, something menacing. He slumped back on his chair, arms crossed and you gulped.

“And what about my pain? Do you know anything of it?” He said, sporting the blank look that hid the pain his voice was threatening to spill. “I was dubbed a monster at night and did I want that? I wasn’t able to make friends properly because of that you know” He then leaned forward, elbows propped up on his thighs. “I tried to help him, I left notes, messages, anything. I wanted to let him in the daylight for once, but he didn’t listen and even flat out refused saying that he liked his nightlife. I believed him.” He sat up straight now, his eyes burning with anger “And what did he do? Toy with my life. He sabotaged all of my relationships and that fucker had the nerve to be happy with my frustrations. My friends hated me and as much as I wanted to apologize, what can I say? That it wasn’t me who told them all those things? They’d think i’m either an amnesiac or a psycho. He even tried to ruin my relationship with Taehyung, thankfully he figured out something was wrong and asked me personally, so I told him the truth. He’s been the only friend I had ever since... all because of who? Because of your precious JK. Just wait, when he’s completely obliterated whatever we have, he’ll stop toying around with you too.” He spat out, disgust evident in his face.

He quickly gathered his things and left you dumbfounded. You didn’t notice the tears pooled around your eyes and how much you were holding your breath. Your chest started to hurt at the revelation as you were feeling torn, completely emotionally drained. You slumped back to your seat as you thought about what to do. Now that you heard both their sides, it was best that they knew about it all. So once again, you waited until sundown to talk to JK.

You dragged yourself to the cafe, completely worn out at this point. You spotted JK at the usual spot and ushered for him to talk to you outside.

“Miss me already, sweetheart?” He smirked and you only sighed.

“Why did you do that?” You asked, eyebrows furrowed in frustration. You were completely done tiptoeing around.

“Do what?” He asked, mirroring your growing frustration. He was always ill tempered.

“Sabotage Kook’s relationships? He wanted to help but you kept refusing him?” You said, your voice slightly raising.

“Help? From him?” He scoffed “Why would I need help from the one who’s ruined it all?”

“How about you just try to work with your problems rather than avoid it completely? Ruining people’s relationships is a completely immature way of handling this situation” You scolded. You were both sizing each other up, the other not backing down.

“Oh I see, you just love to side with Kook huh? It’s okay, everyone does. I will always just be in the backseat worshipping the feet of the holy other me” He said in a mocking tone, pacing side to side.

You were getting angrier by the minute, cartoon smoke probably coming out of your ears by now “I’m not siding with anyone! God!” You shouted, raising your hand in the air in frustration “You know what, I’m done. I’m done being the both of you guys’s emotional punching bag. I only tried to help but you both think I’m siding with the other” You placed a hand on your forehead, mock laughing “Ha, and to think we actually had something going on. You were probably going to discard me after you’re done playing with another one of Kook’s relationships right?” You asked him, menace in your eyes. “Am I wrong?”

He only stared at you, expression growing softer but you were only hurt by his response, or lack thereof.

“Thought so” You said. “You probably haven’t gotten rid of me yet because apparently Kook’s feelings latched unto you. That was the only reason you liked me anyways”

“No that’s not it” He reached out for you but you only backed away “It’s true that his feelings somewhat caught unto mine but it was strengthened by me. My feelings for you are purely mine and they are genuine” He pleaded.

You came up close to his face, eyes squinting “You know what?” You started “I don’t care. I’m tired. Tell Kook I don’t want to see the both of you until you settled matters in your own hands” You said walked away, leaving him dumbfounded and frustrated.

Your tears completely spilled all over once you hit your mattress. You were oh so tired. Your hand found your phone, dialing Jimin’s number. After a few rings he picked up.

“Y/N? Where are you? Is something wrong” He asked from the other line.

You were ugly sobbing as you spoke to the phone “I-I’m home but J-Jimin can you come o-over? I need someone”

“I’ll be right there, Y/N”

You spent the night bawling to Jimin about how emotionally tired you are whilst eating takeout and playing movies in the background, a common instance for the both of you when one is feeling a bit let down. People have always asked when you were going to date but you never thought of each other that way. He’s always been like a brother to you and you were thankful for the friendship.

He was stroking your hair while you continued to rack sobs, calming down with every second. “You’ve always been such a compassionate soul but you got to take care of yourself too” Jimin said as he lifted your chin up “You’re not obligated to fix anyone. If you’ve done all that you think you can then that’s as far as you can go, at least you’ve done your part" He wiped the remaining tears away from your face. “It doesn’t make you a bad person if you’re unable help everyone because you’re emotionally unavailable, always remember that”

You sniffed and hugged him tightly “Oh what am I going to do without you?”

“Probably wallow in more boy drama” He jokingly said. “Chin up, they’ll come around when they’re ready”

“Yeah” You said with a small smile, your heart less turbulent now.

As per your wish, the both of them ignored you throughout uni and in the weekends. You had to admit that it was a bit boring not having them in your life, completely not used to their lack of presence but Jimin and Tae made up for it, Namjoon and Hoseok also coming to hang out with you guys more.

“You know Kook is very beat about all this” Tae mentioned one time at the lunch table.

“Yeah JK too, he’s absolutely devastated” Hoseok added. “You really had them both wrapped around your finger” He joked as he took a bite out of his sandwich.

“Guys I really don’t wanna hear about the both of them right now” You said, rubbing your temple. They both squeaked apologies as you all continued eating.

Slowly, your energy was coming back. You refreshed yourself with friendship and knowledge, often coming to the library to read for leisure with Namjoon when you found out about his extensive knowledge in books. You also hung out with Hoseok in the uni’s dance room, always dragging you along to one of his dance practices for what he claimed as needing moral support. He also introduced you to his friend Yoongi who sometimes makes the music he dances to. But it was Jimin and Taehyung who was with you the most, gluing themselves to your hip. You didn’t really mind, they were like peas in a pod and being with them is entertaining. They often came by your apartment, bringing various food and games to play with.

“You know you guys don’t have to come here every time, it’s not like I went through a massive breakup” You roll your eyes at them as they set down large tubs of ice cream on your kitchen counter

“You might as well have, with the way you cried over them” Jimin snickered.

“Hey!” You smacked his arm, puffing your cheeks.

“We get to help a friend out as well as have an excuse to eat all this junk. I’d say it’s a win win” Tae said as he slung an arm around your shoulders, laughing. You laughed with them, thankful.

They left earlier than they usually do and you were sat alone eating the tub of ice cream in your living room, watching whatever. You suddenly heard a knock on your door as you set the food down to check whoever it was.

You were shocked as you opened the door, your mouth agape as you took in his appearance. “Kook? err JK?” You said hesitantly, completely not distinguishing who it was. He held out the flowers he brought to you as you took it in your hands.

He smiled sheepishly, red dusting his cheeks “I’m both of them now” He said and your eyes widened. That is why you couldn’t tell them apart. His hair wasn’t pin straight like Kook’s nor as wavy as JK’s. His expression also isn’t as soft nor as cold.

“And I want to apologize for what I did, I’m truly sorry Y/N. We finally had something in common that we were willing to compromise for and that’s you” He stepped forward and tentatively reached out to cup my cheek. When he realized that his action didn’t make you uncomfortable, he continued “We couldn’t risk losing you and that anchored us more to each other until we just fully fused. I have both their memories but I want us to start over so we can make fresh memories together, me being one entity this time” He chuckled softly. “Thank you for breaking the curse”

Your heart jumped out of your chest as you pulled him in your apartment. You truly missed him. You set the flowers down as you jumped up to wrap your arms around his neck in a hug. “I forgive you and I’m sorry too” You nuzzled your head closer to the crook of his neck.

He cradled your face when you both pulled away, but still staying as close. “Now we can truly start over” He smiled.

You grabbed the collar of his shirt as you pressed your lips against him in an instant heated makeout. His hand found your hips as he gripped you closer to him “Well this is not what I had in mind but I’m definitely not complaining” He smirked.

You rolled your eyes as you found his lips again, taking his jacket off in the process. You dragged him to the bedroom, kicking off his shoes and taking your shirt off. His touches were like fire as his hands roamed your back, coming dangerously close to the clasp of your bra. He suddenly gripped the back of your thighs as he hoisted you up. Wrapping your legs around his waist you felt something hard pressed against your core. You grinded against him as he grunted against your mouth, biting your lower lip.

“You naughty girl” His voice was dark and sultry and it shot through your sex, wetness growing by the minute. He threw you on your bed as he climbed on top of you, nearly straddling your waist. He took his shirt off and you took in his appearance. He was very toned, abs lining up his stomach as you gently traced over it. “Like what you see?” He teased.

He started peppering kisses all over your neck as he gripped your thigh, occasionally sliding his hand up your shorts which gave you shivers as you moaned. He brought his kisses lower, stopping at the crevice between your breast as brought his hand under you to unclasp your bra, biting it with his teeth to take it off you. He looked at you hungrily, you looked like sex on a platter.

You blushed under his intense gaze and looked away. He noticed your shyness and his expression softened as he kissed your forehead “You’re beautiful, princess” He said. “We can stop whenever you want, just say the word”

You shook your head “No, it’s okay. Also i’m on birth control” You said as he peppered kisses all over your face.

“Then... would you let me make you feel good, princess?” He asked and you shyly nodded.

His expression then changed into that of a big bad wolf “Don’t worry, princess you’re in good hands” You were surprised at how a simple nickname can change from something sweet to dirty in a second but you weren’t complaining.

He took your right breast in his mouth, sucking on your nipple. You arched back in pleasure as he did the same with your left. He then kissed your abdomen until he reached the waistband of your shorts. Pulling both your shorts and underwear off, you were left naked underneath him.

He licked his lips as he started sucking on your core “Hahh- keep doing that, ugh” You moaned as he kept lapping at your clit. The sounds you were making didn’t help the growing tent in his pants as he kept sucking and roaming your thighs with his hands.

“I-I I’m gonna” You said, rolling your head back as you fisted his hair. Just when you were going to climax, he pulled his mouth away from you in a smirk “Don’t think i’m going to let you off that easy, princess” He said as he took his pants and underwear off.

He was big, really big. Veiny and thick and you just couldn’t wait. You sat up and pushed him back, making him sit. You got on all fours, taking him in your hands as he moaned. He was already really hard and you gave him a few good pumps before putting his aching cock in your mouth. His head rolled back as he breathed heavily “Fuck, Y/N”

Satisfied by his sounds, you bobbed your head up and down faster, his hands gripping the sheets tightly. Before he could cum, you removed yourself from him and wiped your mouth. You straddled him and aligned his cock to your core as you slid down. “Hahhh, oh god” You said in pleasure.

He gripped your ass and guided your bounce on his dick. “Fuck you feel so good baby, wrapped around me like that” Your eyes rolled back in pleasure as he was deep into you, the sound of skin slapping and moaning filling the room.

He the lifted you up and laid you down, still inside you, as he placed your legs over his shoulders. With a smirk he then pounded into you, taking in the bouncing of your breasts.

“Oh god oh god don’t stop oh fuck. Just cum inside me” You moaned as your core tightened, reaching your climax. A few more thrusts and his movements started staggering, soon he reached his high as well, completely stopping as he spilled inside you. Pulling out, he grabbed the tissue you kept on your desk as he cleaned the juices that were leaking out of you.

He then came up and placed a tender kiss to your lips as he stroked your hair “You did great, princess. You were so good” He said sweetly.

He spent the night at your place, completely tired. When morning came you were the first to wake. You trace his features and took in the difference. His features weren’t as soft but weren’t as sharp as well, it was a good balance. You also note how he was both sweet and cocky last night, his performance smack right in the middle. Gliding your hands over his jaw, his nose and lastly his lips, he suddenly opened his eyes.

“Are you observing me?” He asked sleepily. You giggled at his cute demeanor as placed your head on his bare chest, the both of you not having strength to put clothes back on last night.

You tilted your head back up to look at him “I just realized” You started.

He cocked his head to the side as he brushed a hair out of your face “Realize what?”

“What should I call you now?” You asked.

“Jungkook” He said as he placed a tender kiss on your lips.

22 notes · View notes

violetnotez · 5 years ago

Text

Winter Dance

Izuku Midoriya x Reader

Genre: Angsty but Fluff at end

Word Count: 3900

Warnings: Slight cuss words if ya squint

Summary: The winter dance is coming to UA in a few weeks and everyone is scrambling for a date- will your long time best friend/ crush Izuku Midoriya ask you out?

One Shot

(RULES | MASTERLIST COMING SOON| REQUESTS OPEN!!! :))

-----------------------------

Walking down the hallways, you always seemed to get in your own head. Everything seemed to dissolve around you, the world disappearing in place for your thoughts.

Right now, you were thinking about the practical exams, tests, and all the homework you had to do because you tend to procrastinate, until your best friend (and crush) flitted into your mind. Izumi Midoriya has been one of your best friends for as long as you could remember. After Bakugou had made fun of your quirk when you were little, little Midoriya was the only one having the courage to stand up for you. Your quirk was a unique one: you were a shapeshifter. If you touched someone or even held something they owned, you could shapeshift into them instantly. Either people found it interesting or creepy, but Izuku didn’t see it like that. He thought it was just awesome you had a quirk in the first place. He was the nicest boy you had ever met, and you two had been inseparable since. Over the years though, you realized you liked Izuku more than a friend. His infectious optimissium, his pursuit to be the best hero against all odds, and his adorable awkwardness made it hard for you not to notice how much you liked him. But he was your best friend, and if he didn't feel the same, you would be mortified and completely embarrassed. Your friendship would be over and you couldn't take the idea of a life without Izuku. So you suppressed all your feelings for him in hopes that maybe one day they would go away.

You felt a hand on your shoulder, making you turn around abruptly and startling you.To your relief (and horror), it was only the boy you were hopelessly falling for, his wide eyed, freckled face looking up slightly at yours.

“Geez Midoriya!” You blushed, feeling how close your bodies were. “You couldn’t have scared me more!?”

“S-sorry y/n!” He apologized, stuttering slightly. He seemed to always be in a state of embarrassment, which was totally adorable to you but completely annoying to him.

He was breathing a little hard, as if he had just ran a long ways.

“I-I needed to ask you something,” he said in between pants as you both shuffled through the crowded hallways.

“Ask away,” you replied, sneaking peeks at his face. It was flushed red, his freckles even more prominent against the red of his face as his shoulders heaved with each breath.

“I-I need to ask for a favor,” he replied, looking down at his feet, his hands wringing nervously.

“Okay...What kind of favor?” you asked cautiously, trying to see the look in his eyes- but you couldn't. Midoriya’s head was hanging so low, his green, messy hair was completely covering his eyes.

“Its uh...its kind of a secret…”

He looked from side to side, making sure no one was paying attention to you two.

You looked at him in confusion, not understanding why he was being so secretive.

“I need a place to tell her in secret,” he thought quietly, his eyebrows furrowing as he thought were to go. He looked to his right, realizing a classroom door was open.

“In here!” He sighed in relief, grabbing your hand as he pulled you in.

The fact that he took your hand caused your breath to hitch, his hand feeling so perfect in yours-it was surprisingly soft, but you could feel the few spots that were calloused.

He let go too soon, your skin feeling cold without his touch and your chest a little heavier.

You looked at him confused, having no idea what was going on or why he was acting this way.

“Alright Midoriya,” you stared, your cheeks slightly red, “whats going on?”

He sighed, scratching the back of his neck.

He peaked a look at you from under his messy curls, a small smile playing on his lips.

“So...um… you know how the Winter Dance is in a few weeks?”

“Yeah, of course! That’s all anyone’s been talking about,” you replied, “everyone has been scrambling for dates because of it.”

You should know- the boys have been fidgety and weird ever since the Dance was announced- all of them wanted a date, and a cute one at that. To your surprise, You had been actually getting some proposals, but of course it was from the boys that were most desperate: like Mineta, Denki, and even Sero surprisingly. Each proposal you would brush off, always telling Izuku about how silly they were. He of course, would laugh along, but his face always looked strained when you brought it up- as if something inside him was hurting. You would nervously and as politely as possible tell the boys “no”, not wanting to face the fact that you were saying “no” because you were hoping that it would be Izuku who asked you next.

You looked at your best friend in confusion- until your heart stopped at a sudden realization.

Is he asking you out?

“Yeah...yeah-everyone,” he stuttered quietly, “I’ve just been having a lot of trouble.”

“What trouble-like-like asking someone?” you questioned, your voice shaking from nervousness.

Was it really going to happen?

“Yes!” he sighed in relief. “Ive been actually wanting to ask Uraraka to the dance, but I’ve been second guessing myself and not doing it. I’m afraid someone else will ask her soon, and I’ll never get the chance. Which is why I’d like to-maybe, if it’s alright-practice asking her. With your quirk!”

He smiled wide, his hopeful look the opposite of yours. Your heart felt crushed- you had thought that maybe things would be in your favor for once, that he would ask you, but that clearly was wishful thinking. He liked Uraraka- who wouldn’t? Smart, sweet, and selfless, Uararaka was perfect for Izuku. You couldn’t deny that.

Izuku noticed your shocked face, taking it as you were undecided about the plan.

“We could meet before dinner, when no one is at the training grounds,” he rushed, “Id bring something of Uraraka’s so you can use your quirk, and you wouldn't have to worry about anything. Just- if I could practice a little on how I would ask her, just for a few minutes, I'll feel much more confident-“

Even though your heart was crestfallen from this huge blow, the idea of him asking you to meet up, alone, made your heart pound, even though you hated it.

“Uh-sure! I guess that'll work,” you replied hastily, forcing a smile at the blushing Izuku.

He grinned, his face lighting up “Thank you so,so much y/n! Oh- uh-Ill see you later!”

And with that, he ran out the door, leaving you feeling defeated in the empty room.

The sun was setting over the mountains at UA, the sky a range of pinks, oranges, and reds.

You were walking the familiar walk to the training grounds, each step full of a strange combination of excitement and dread.

Izuku didn't like you, but somehow you were still holding on to that small hope that he did, against all odds.

It was kind of strange of you, given the circumstances

But Maybe he did.

Izuku stood standing in the middle of the field, the dusty dirt beginning to cake onto the white of his red shoes. He held Uraraka’s sweatband gingerly in his hand, feeling slightly guilty for sneaking it off of her. He would bring it back to her, he promised himself that, it just felt wrong.

Especially since he was having second thoughts about all this.

For some reason, he couldn't get you off his mind. Ever since the Winter Dance was announced, his feelings for you had been realized like never before. He had of course liked you before he got One for All and accepted into UA with you, he just never thought you would like him back.

Back when he was quirkless, he had the biggest crush on you, thinking you were the most beautiful, sweetest, and most amazing person he had ever met. But, his insecurities got the best of him, and believing you could do better than a quirkless nobody like him, he kept quiet about his feelings.

When he met Uraraka, he thought he was finally saved- a girl that finally could make him stop thinking of you. She was pretty, kind, and selfless like you, and it felt nice to have someone around that didn't know he used to be quirkless and defenseless. She was able to be a buffer for him and his feelings towards you.

Until the Dance rolled around and his feelings hit full force. It hurt watching his friends ask you out, anger bubbling up inside him.

He should be the one tripping up on his words as he gave you a full bouquet of roses, not Kaminari, or Sero!

It hurt when you kidded that you wouldn't find a date, because he knew he could give you one, he was just too scared to.

Dress shopping with you was the worst of all. The whole time he felt like a blubbering idiot because you looked so freaking beautiful. You looked like a goddess in all that shimmering fabric, the blue dresses bringing out your eyes, the red dresses making him feel antsy to grab your waist and twirl you around, the greens his absolute favorite- but he couldn't say anything like what he truly felt.

He felt like a peasant in the presence of a princess as you laughed and twirled around, shining like a star.

“Do you like this one?” you had asked in a shimmering green dress, the sleeves short and flowy, the color of sea foam.

“Like it-I-I-I love it! You look beautiful! That one’s the best- no doubt about it!” Izuku praised, unable to take his eyes off your body, his face red.

You sighed happily, not noticing his face a blushing mess. “Thanks Midoriya...god what would I do without you?” you had then reached for his hand gingerly, giving him a hug.

You then pulled away too soon, his face on fire. “Im going to get this one since you like it so much!”

The song on the speakers changed, a song you both recognized. You gave him a mischievous smirk, grabbing his hand and laughing.

“Come dance with me!” You exclaimed, making his hands clammy and his face red, in the best way possible.

His heart pumping hard, he realized- you were the one. The one he wanted.

And couldn’t have.

Now he was looking down at this sweatband, regretting not just telling you in that store, or these past few weeks, or even in that empty classroom- that he liked you, liked you more than a friend, more than a best friend,even- and that he wanted to go to the dance with you.

He sighed, letting his own reality sink in.

“Even if I did tell her,” he thought, “she wouldn't have time to react. We have been friends for so long I would have blind sided her with that confession- it's better for me to keep it to myself. I can't lose our friendship.”

He sighed, sadness flooding his system as he looked down at his shoes, defeated.

“Youre going to go with Uraraka,” he commanded himself, “you like her.”

A few weeks ago this would have been true- of course now, it really wasn't.

“Izuku!” he heard his name yelled by you, looking up abruptly to see you running up to him, a smile on your face.

He squeaked, tensing up as he didn't expect you at all as he was wallowing in self pity.

“Hey, sorry Im kinda late,” you chuckled, looking at him with rosy cheeks.

He couldn't stop staring at your lips that parted ever so slightly from your jog over to him, making his face 10x redder than it already was.

“I-I-Its okay!” he said, looking up as he scratched the back of his neck, embarrassment written all over his face.

You shook your head, smiling, not suspecting a thing- Midoriya was always being an adorable, blushing mess- what was new about that?

“Alright….” you started to ask, “Do you have something of Uraraka that I can use?”

Midoriya was still blushing, trying to fight the rising heat on his face.

“I do!” he exclaimed, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the wristband, thrusting it at you quickly.

You smiled mischievously as you giggled, gingerly grabbing it from him.

“Did you by chance steal this from her?” You smirked.

“I-uh-maybe?”

You laughed, knowing Izuku must feel so guilty about taking such a small thing. He was considerate like that.

His cheeks got warm again, your laugh making him feel warm inside- it was the happiest sound he ever heard-

“almost like Christmas bells”, he thought instantly.

“You couldve just taken a piece of hair from her, or a napkin, or even just something she touched-my quirk will still work,” you said happily as you slipped on the wristband, the feeling of the DNA triggering your nerves, making them feel like they were being sparked with electricity.

You shook ever so slightly, letting the power surge emb its way down.

“Oh-oh-uh okay!”

Midoriya stared at you, not feeling he was ready to do this. He didnt want to do this- but he was fighting himself to do what he thought was the right thing, not to do what he really wanted to do.

“You ready?” you asked cheerfully, your smile feeling strained. You didnt want to do this either.

You didnt want to help him get with another girl, but he was your best friend- how could you say no to him?

All you wanted to do was sit and cry, or even just scream-A strange and annoying side effect of your quirk was it made you extra emotional, so It was taking everything in you to not just give an excuse to leave, or yell, or even cry.

“I-I-guess…”he fumbled out, wringing his hands nervously.

You gave him a curt nod, and whispered the one word that activated your quirk, “Change.”

Your body instantly lit up with an eerie blue glow, starting at the feet and wrapping around until it reached your head.

The whole time Izuku was in his head, thinking himself into a mess. “SHould I just tell her?” “Will she think Im weird- considering we've been friends for so long she might be able to overlook the fact that I like her ...Her smile seemed so strange, as if she was forcing it: maybe she does have some feelings for me...or it could be from her quirk that makes her muscles feel sore or something, maybe its-”

“Uraraka!” he cried in panic, his voice going up 10 octaves as one of his good friends stood waving at him cheerfully.

“Hi Deku!” you smiled, laughing at the sound of her sweet, high voice coming out of your mouth. You were wearing her PE uniform, the top opened to show a black tank top.

“This is so wierd!” you cried in amusement.

“It is…”he chuckled along with you, his blush rising. He felt a little nervous around Uraraka, but this version of her was making him more awkward because it was you. He couldn't explain it, but it almost felt like he couldn't really wrap his head that he was asking out Uraraka, but it was really you and he was asking you instead.

5 MINUTES

“Alright,” you said quickly, “remember when we were 7, and you were asking me to become All Might, and I said I couldnt because I didnt have anything he touched, and that even if I did, I could only last for 5 minutes and then I had to switch back?”

“Yes, i do… I was so excited to meet my idol I started to cry...not really my finest moment!” He chuckled nervously.

“Well…” you sighed, your voice feeling strange because of Uraraka’s pitch, “that rule still applies. I can only last for about 5 minutes before I have to build up my strength again- so we have to be quick.”

“Oh, alright,” he agreed quickly, standing up straight. “Lets do it.”

4 MINUTES

You took a deep breath, willing down the emotions inside you. You had to keep it together- 5 minutes was all, and then you could leave and try to forget about all the hurt inside you.

Izuku took a deep breath as well. Now that you were taking the lead, he felt like he should just play along- if you were okay with all this, if you seemed to be happy with this- he would be too.

“Hi Izuku! How are you?” You acted cheerfully, over doing your wave like Uraraka would.

“H-hi Uraraka!” He smiled, a chuckle almost slipping out as you acted exactly like her.

“So…” you began, your muscles hurting from straining a smile for so long, “you wanted to tell me something?”

You wanted to laugh and cry at the same time-you felt so stupid pretending to be someone else, especially to help your crush get with someone else, but this was your friend, and you would do anything for him. But, you still felt a low budget actor trying out for an audition and you couldn’t help but want to laugh from your embarrassment.

3 MINUTES

“What was it?” You asked pretending to be perplexed as you watched Midoriya’s face get redder with each word you uttered.

You walked closer to him, your heart beating faster. You didn’t know why, but this was starting to feel real. Too real- and you were hating that you were giving into it

“Um-I-I-” Midoriya stuttered, his brain in overdrive. He was still fighting himself inside, still fighting to just ask you.

“God damn it Izuku just ask her!” he cursed at himself mentally, watching those big round eyes star at him. Your eyes were the same- he always noticed that when you used your quirk: your eyes always stayed the same color.

2 MINUTES

“Is something wrong, Izuku?” you tilted your head to the side impatiently, putting your hands behind your back like Ochaco would.

Izuku looked at his feet, his silence ringing in your ears. You couldn't understand what he was doing- he wanted to do this, right? So why was he acted so wierd? WHy couldn't he just get this over with? You're emotions were getting more and more uncontrollable- you could feel the tears tickling your waterline as you stared at your best friend, the sky beginning to turn fiery orange to pale pink. It was getting harder to control your quirk- the time was trickling away, and you didnt think you would have enough energy to use your quirk again in your state.

1 MINUTE

“Izuku, we have to hurry, Im losing control over my quirk,” you grunted out, feeling your voice ebb away from Uraraka and slightly into your own.

Izuku snapped his head up in a panic, his eyes wide with concern.

“Uh-uh-okay!” he complied, searching in himself to try and find that piece of him that trully felt some romantic way for Uraraka.

It wasnt there.

All he could see was your face- you when you were 11, helping him up after Bakugo had shoved him into the ground, you hugging him when you both realize you got into UA, you getting your hero suit, you and him dress shopping- it was you. And only you.

He took a deep breath, realizing what he finally, truly wanted to do. No matter the consequences.

30 SECONDS

“I know this is strange, and out of the blew….but- I wanted to say I like you. A lot. And I know you probably dont feel the same way, but I needed to tell you that- I-I care about you, and Id do anything to make you happy and feel safe. Ive liked you-more than friend- for a long time now, and was hoping that maybe-maybe you could go to the school dance with me?”

Izuku took a deep breath feeling a wait off his shoulders. He was scared as hell, that was still in him but it felt could to let out all those emotions he had been holding in for so long.

“Y/n! A-are you alright?!?”

You had turned back into your own self, but now you had tears stains littering your cheeks, more trailing down as your heart began to break. You didn’t realize that that confessions was meant for you: you thought it was for Uraraka.

Izuku rushed over to you, not knowing really what to do. He could tell you were really hurting inside, that something was almost painful to you. He didn’t think his confession would make you this upset-but why?

You sniffled, your shoulders shaking as you felt foolish for crying in front of him. This wasn’t you-you we’re usually the calm one, the one who took blows to your ego with ease and grace. But right now, you were tired from overusing your quirk and tired of lying to your friend each and every day you saw him.

“I’m not okay Izuku!” You shouted, frustrated. Midoriya’s eyes got wide, shocked by your outburst.

“I’m not! I-I-I know you like Ochaco, and if that’s what makes you happy, I don’t want to take that away from you-but I cant keep lying to you!” You took a breath, a protest about to escape out of Izuku’s lips.

“I like you Izuku-I-I loved you. Every since we were kids.” You heaved out, as if your lungs couldn’t catch up with your fast beating heart.

Izuku felt his whole life turn 180 in a split second. You liked him back??? You felt the same way??? He stared at you, your eyes sparkling from the tears. You were hugging yourself, making him just want to run and cuddle you and make you feel better.

A shocked silence fell between you two.

“Y/n,” Midoriya asked so quietly it was like a whisper, “why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want to lose you! I didn’t-I didn’t- want to mess up things between us!” You were stuttering over your words, and you felt like an emotional mess. You took a shaky breath, feeling embarrassment bubble in your stomach.

“But I now just clearly already did, so I’m just-“ you put your back to Midoriya, meaning to walk away until you felt a soft hand gently grasp your wrist.

Your turned quickly in shock, your tear stained face staring at Izuku’s.

“I love you y/n,” he said with gentle force, his voice calm but his cheeks a blazing red, revealing his nervousness.

You stared at him with wide eyes, confusion written on your face.

“But I thought-you were saying that to Uraraka...“ you sniffled, “we were practicing…”

“I meant it for you. I-I thought I wanted to ask Uraraka, but I realized I wanted to ask you.” Izuku smiled softly, making your insides erupt with happy butterflies.

You grinned back, almost wanting to laugh at how unbelievably relieved you were-you felt like you could float.

“So-uh-um y/n,” Izuku asked, his smile turning into a nervous grin, “would you want to go to the dance with me?”

You laughed, pulling Izuku close to you and giving him a hug, snuggling your head into the crook of his neck. He stood there in complete shock, not knowing what to do-his senses we’re going to overload. He finally wrapped his arms tenderly around your body.

You sighed happily, feeling completely giddy and happy.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

-----------------------------

I hope you having a great day or night wherever you are at!

Requests open!!!!!

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shiro-0197 · 4 years ago

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God no I'm sorry 😭😭😭 the way Tumblr eats all my drafts, and now your replies. (Someday I'm gonna eat Tumblr grrrr) that must've been so frustrating tho, I'm sorry love.

someday we could go to a country with Highlands together. It'll be super cold and nice. And the views would be really really pretty too!! WE COULD EVEN BE AMONGST THE CLOUDS >//< aww yes I hope you'll be able to try them soon in the future!! I died and had to stay in bed for an hour, (because my spice tolerance is nonexistent <3) but yeah I'm better now! Name is: "대박 ghost pepper noodles" the Korean word 대박 literally translates to "awesome" but— 😭😭

oh I see!! I hope school goes well, it's good that you're excused for a part of the day :D and aww I understand. Replying can be lengthy sometimes, so please please only do it when you're free and comfortable >:(( we're in no rush, after all :D

I was studying earlier too. and I texted my principal about the exams ( because apparently none of my teachers know anything about it, and I was so frustrated with everyone being so clueless ) she just replied with a : "hi Ariana, will let you know on Friday" like excuse me, ma'am. GRRRRR >:( STOP BEING CLUELESS.

awww that's okay!! I'm sure those prep slides were really pretty too :D aww that's sweet of you. some of my online friends sometimes sit in on my Leo events (if it's open to everyone) and it's pretty fun when they do (once, one of them had to talk for like, an activity and my club mates were like "SHE HAS AN ACCENT??". It was hilarious hehe) zoom is great for that reason, and only that. they're just ready-made slides tbh, I use canva :D

Shiro, love, you won't disappoint anyone, I promise you that. I'm sure your mom is more proud than you know, and from the way you talk about her, I can tell that she truly adores you. tho I also understand your worries. If you want to rant or anything, you know I'm here. And I'll just continuously reassure you of how amazing you are :)

that's my boy 🥺🥺 grr, you're so feisty, please imagine me holding a "you go, Shiro" sign everytime you tell someone to fuck themselves :D Laurent is indeed amazing. He's my favourite character for that exact reason >//< there's another character, from a book I read, just like that. His name was uhh, Kieran. And he knew so many different languages, and was just in general; super smart. I remember being so in love with him when I first read it (The title of the book is "genius")

HAHA. ikr. They're all hot, and most importantly; smart. nevermind, when I meet you someday we can cry over them together 😭🤚 pffft no offense, but being evil is hot sometimes 😾 (I mean, Kieran was evil. So's Moriarty :] and I am: a simp for them all)

aww bae that's okay 🥺🥺 your feelings are valid, and it's not wrong to express them whenever you feel like it. Grrr if I ever see your dad, he might be missing a limb >:( sorry, that was violent, but I get especially mad if anyone upsets someone i love )

exactly?? It's been a year?? Where's that blink meme where someone blinks and it's suddenly 2021. Oooh that sounds really nice!! Adding it on my list of things to try in March >.< Honey is really delicious. especially all those desserts which have a lot of them.

glad I made you laugh >////< grr my sense of humour is just so weird tho, so I'm glad you aren't freaked out by it.

KAJDKSJSKS SIR WAIT. There was an explanation for that u but I guess it got cut off in my notes 😾😾 IT WAS MEANT TO BE A Ü (smiley) but I was using my computer and I couldn't add the two dots above, so I typed "imagine the eyes" (but apparently that part got cut off and now it just looks like a random alphabet SKJSKSK IM SORRY 😭😭😭

I understand, the lack of opportunities can really get on one's nerves. But oh yes, Japan and Norway are beautiful countries. Apart from Japan, I've been really into Korea and Switzerland. The Alps 😻

grrr y'all have tough exteriors. But it's so rewarding when you finally get them down, tho I think, you guys have tons of other layers to yourselves. I guess that's just the charm, I find it endearing, because it just means there's a lot more than meets the eye :)

MY FRIEND MAKES FUN OF ME FOR LIKING PINK. HE TEASES ME MERCILESSLY SKSJSKSK (so I published a poem line in the school magazine to get back at him for it, because I'm petty like that)

that's so funny >.< There are two girls, and a girl and a guy, who share the exact same names in my class, and it's so funny because they're opposites of each other xD

he really is precious. The best leader, I would literally die for him, he's wonderful. yeah the book actually started out different, with them just being best friends. Best plot twist 😭😭 AWW

NOOO I'm sure it's cute, in it own way? :P tho that meme tho. LDJCJSBSKS. Don't worry, hehe, the character may be .... Unpleasant to look at?? , but you're not the least bit at all :)

how was your day btw? My day sucked ass and was literally the worst day in the history of uh, days. Yeah. sad. tomorrow will be better.

God, you're so adorable wtf. Marry me rn. AKDJSKSJS I didn't find it lame at all, (tho were you flustered? Because that was cute as hell xD) I love you too 🥺🥺

—☃️

It's okay, it's not your fault. We could storm the Tumblr building together or something..:3

Oh I really hope we can!!! I love cold weather. You can wear sweaters and hoodies and all that💞 and you have an excuse to cancel everything and cuddle up with a blanket or someone else😝

Im so glad you're better now!! Spice sickness or whatever is the worst😔 WBHDJWKX that's hilarious I hope I come across those soon! Let's see who wins😼

Yeah, about that, they started making us do after-class activities, which now leaves less time for the stuff I have to do .... which sucks . But I'm managing, I think, so it's cool xD yeah, I've always been kind of cautious about the timing, it's nice to have a little freedom now, thank you so much <3

Wow😭😭 our teachers usually have the dates set two weeks before the exams, we always recieve a message. Though I've been there, where the teacher have no clue, it's so annoying😭😭

Ohh, that's so cool! I hope I will be able to visit one someday. Though I dont think itll be too soon, but I'm looking forward to when I can😝 also that's funny, whenever I speak people go "he doesnt have an accent???" Even though I so obviously do. They just have no idea 😭

Okay..... that's the best words of encouragement I've ever received, I'm so touched- thank you🥺💘

Bwahah, that's gonna make my day every time 😭 Yeah, hes my favorite too!! He seems like a simple himbo at first, but the more we see of him the better he gets. (That sounds cool!!! I'm gonna check it out when I can!)

Thank you🥺 also, dont worry, I wouldn't mind that. I'd love that, actually, wanna go rip off guys arms together?

MZJXKGJJAKXKAKX IT'S ALRIGHT HAHAH, ITS REALLY FUNNY SO DONT WORRY😭😭

JSNFNMWMDMS IM GONNA MAKE FUN OF HIM FOR MAKING FUN OF YOU how could he . I will eat his eyeballs. Also I 100% agree with the poem and I'm glad you posted it. I hope some people thought about it.

Wow😭😭 its honestly so funny, because they're all so different and yet their names fit them so well either way.

Also, wow I feel so bad it's been almost a week since I responded😐 I'm really sorry. I've been writing snips of this message any time I could and yet it still took me days xD I'm getting free, though, so I'll try to respond faster now. I missed talking to you so much😭 thank you for your patience🤍🤍🤍

How've you been? I'm pretty good, tired but feeling good because I can finally respond😩 I hope your day went well. Love you!♡

#Ari💕#ive been meaning to send you short messages but the internet said no💔😐

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chellestrash · 5 years ago

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1 Ello treacle, been a while since I wrote, back at the bakery again now so my spare time asn't been as copious as it was previously. It's all 'ands on deck down there (two metres apart mind but you get what I mean), with everythin' openin' up in the comin' weeks we gotta be ready. Ollie fell over a barrel the first day and busted 'is tooth through 'is lip, fuckin' blood bath it was strudel... Can't let that boy anywhere.

Alfie! Love i thought you’ve forgotten about me! I’m glad to hear you’re back at the bakery now even if it means you’ll have less time for other things. It’s good to know thay everything is slowly going back to normal, it’s reassuring.

God please send Ollie over to me, i’ll wrap a bunch of pillows around him so that there’s no way he could hurt himself! Is he still staying with you, or did he go back home?

Ah Cyrill my little baby boy, i don’t know if there’s a way to miss me more than he does, he deserves all the belly rubs, kisses and cuddles and i’ll make sure he’ll get them all when i’ll see him again hopefully soon!

I don’t know if we should be talking about celebrating my finals, i’m not even sure i’ll pass them, im pretty sure i won’t to be honest...it’s just face to face exams make me so extremely anxious and then written assignments...i’m just too dumb for that. I don’t see myself passing this time, and i’m not really sure how to deal with that, i’m trying to be calm about it but it’s difficult not to get anxious and panicky. I’m still working, a lot, i’ve been writing and watching and reading, everything is for my finals now, and it’s making me so so tired i just don’t know what to do. those 3 weeks are gonna be so extremely difficult i’m just really scared.

I miss you, i really do. That picnic in the forest really does sound lovely and i hope we’ll be able to actually make it happen one day...i’m just not sure of anything right now. I’m very anxious and on the edge all the time, i don’t sleep much and i’m constantly worried. I’m trying to be better...overall but it’s juts...not working right now. I juts, i could use some really nice cuddles right now...

Well, i hope you’re still staying safe, i know things are going back to normal slowly but, the pandemic is still happening, be careful please.

With love

michelle

#alfie anon #this literally made my whole day #ive been feeling down and ahhhh this is just the best #the quarantine love story continues

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forevermyalwaysphff · 5 years ago

Text

Chapter 10

A/N: Here is the next the chapter! I’m so excited to share this with you, I hope you enjoy it

—————————————————

Alexa was holding her belly, laughing hard at Harry while she talked to him over the phone. Her heels clicked along the London cobble stoned street towards a local cafe she was meeting Hallie and Naomi at for lunch and well needed catch up with her close friends.

“Harry! Please stop!” She giggled uncontrollably, hearing his laughter mix with hers across the phone line. Suddenly, she grew quiet and listened to his purely infectious laughed that she found herself missing more and more with each passing day.

Harry was in the middle of exams, focusing all of his time on studying the materials he required to pass them leaving no time for a trip back to London to see Alexa until the weekend came along. For now, phone calls like this one would have to satisfy them until then.

“How’s my girlfriend doing over there? She seems to have gotten quiet.” His deep husky voice swooned over the phone.

Alexa halted her steps before cutting through a crowd of pedestrians to find a small pathway between to buildings to allow more privacy to talk with the prince. “You know, as I recall...” Alexa cleared her throat and leaned up against a red brick building. “I do not seem to remember that you actually asked me to be your girlfriend, only that you fancy me.” She teased him with a spreading smile forming on her lips.

“Is that so?” The prince chuckled lightly and sighed. “Alexa, you already know that you are.” She could tell that he was shaking his head at her, even over the phone.

“Say it then.” Alexa egged him on, wanting to hear it come from him first that they were indeed an official couple.

“Lex...” Harry’s voice paused for a moment. “I will, when I see you this weekend and get to see that beautiful smile of yours and watch those green eyes light up while you are in my arms.” He let the words sink in for Alexa to imagine. “Then... I will kiss those soft lips of yours until you beg me to stop. How does that sound?”

Alexa’s mouth betrayed her and released a tiny moan giving Harry all he needed for an answer. “I can’t wait til then....”

“Me too, babe.” He cleared his throat. “I will be back before you know it. I have already made you late for lunch with Hallie and Naomi.”

“Ok. Good luck on your exam this afternoon.” Alexa stepped forward back onto the side walk, seeing the cafe with in eyes view. “I know you will pass with flying colours.” She could not help herself, cracking a pun at Harry’s expense.

“Really Alexa?” He groaned deeply. “Flying... colours. You shouldn’t quit your day job gorgeous.” Harry giggled lightly.

“I am hilarious and you know it Wales.” Alexa waved at her friends through the cafe window. “Im at the cafe now. I have to go.”

“Bye, Lex.”

“Bye boyfriend.” Alexa smiled brightly, hearing Harry’s laughter before ending the call.

———————-

“Ok spill the beans, Alexa.” Hallie sipped on her tea.

“What do you mean?” Alexa lowered her head feeling the eyes of both of her friends Hallie and Naomi on her. It had been too long since they had gotten together with their busy schedules and lives so Alexa made time for them on a quick lunch break during the work week.

Naomi put her fork down and shared a knowing look with Hallie. “Oh come on. You have been glowing and smiling from ear to ear since the moment you have arrived.”

Alexa breathed in with a smile. It was true, ever since Harry and Alexa had unofficially officially became a couple she was in a state of constant happiness. Not only did she feel it, but it also showed on the outside.

“Alright, alright.” She beamed falling into a brief silence. “I met someone.”

Namoi and Hallie squealed with delight, but already knew that was potentially the case. “Who is he?! Where did you two meet? Have you two done it yet?” Hallie bombarded the blonde with question after question.

“Ya, what she said.” Naomi leaned in from across the table with a curious glint in her eyes.

“Hallie!” Alexa started to giggle at how forward Hallie was being, but she honestly was not surprised.

“Or I could just text Alice. I am sure she knows exactly who it is!” Hallie whipped out her phone pretending to type.

“No! No!” Alexa’s hand stretched out across the table pushing Hallie’s phone down. “I can tell you, god you haven’t given me a second to even answer!” She shook her head at her friends.

“We met at Eugenie’s engagement party.” Alexa smiled fondly at the memory of locking eyes with Harry from across the bar, the moment that started it all. “We took things a bit slow at least we tried too.” She tossed her head back in laughter. “But, now we are officially a couple and I haven’t felt this happy in a long time.” Saying it out loud made it feel more real for Alexa. She was officially Harry’s girlfriend and it made her happier than ever.

“Awe!” They said in unison.

“I can tell you are so happy, Alexa!” Naomi was brushing away tears of happiness.

“Awe Noe, don’t cry!” Alexa reached across the table to comfort her always-emotional friend that was a hopeless romantic. Maybe that was why she had become a wedding planner.

“I am sorry!” Naomi waved her hands in front of her face drying the tears. “You deserve to be so happy.”

Hallie giggled at Naomi. “Get a grip, it’s not like she is going to be ditching wine Wednesdays with us, right?!”

“Oh hell no!” Alexa covered her mouth to stifle a laugh.

“Well when can we meet the lucky guy?” Hallie pipped in and gave Alexa that look she had when she was about to freely speak her mind. “You know he better not be an aristo again, you just need an ordinary guy that is not complicated to wine and dine you.”

Alexa nearly choked on her glass of wine as Hallie stated what was on her mind. Little did she know that Harry was completely opposite of an ‘ordinary guy’ that was far from ‘not complicated.’ Hallie had always been the protective one in the group and was the tough friend to win over. She trusted her gut when it came to judging people and nearly every time, she was right.

“Easy, I don’t want to scare him away!” Alexa diverted Hallie’s comment and lightened the mood, wanting to turn the conversation elsewhere. “When do you leave on your trip Hal?”

The conversation turned away from Alexa’s new relationship as the three of the friends caught up with their lives with one another. Hallie and Alexa bonded the very first day of university. Having met at a freshman tour of the campus together, the two of them ditched the tour and found themselves sharing multiple bottles of wine. Later finding out that they were to share a dorm together and have been close ever since.

Naomi Edwards and Alexa’s relationship went almost as far back as Princess Eugenie’s and Alexa’s. Having been friends since elementary school, Naomi was a close confidant of the blondes. The Edwards family even took care of Alexa and her siblings periodically when their parents needed to stay at the hospital with Rosie. They always made them feel included in their family. Alexa would often make a point to go visit Naomi’s mother after her husband passed last year.

The thought of introducing Harry to her friends was weighing heavily on Alexa’s mind. The couple did not have much time to talk about their new relationship since Harry had to leave to go back to base the day after they became official. A lot of things needed to be discussed, but had been put to the side after a busy week waiting for the next time they would see each other again.

————————

Alexa was at Eugenie’s apartment in Kensington Palace with her mother Sarah, watching Eugenie stand on a little pedestal as the designer explained the dress he envisioned in his mind.

Eugenie had pushed back deciding on a designer until the last minute and chose to go with Peter Piloto, a less known London designer. After having a lengthy discussion with Princess Eugenie about the vision she wanted her dress to portray, Peter walked the three of them through the details of the dress.

“Can we make the back a bit open?” Eugenie twirled back around to face her mother and Alexa. “I want my scar to be shown.”

Peter took a step back with a tilted head as he thought of how to incorporate the Princess’s wish. “I could do that.” He stepped forward and offered his hand to allow the Princess to step down off the pedestal safely. “May I draw what I am thinking for you Eugenie?”

“Yes! Of course!” Eugenie nodded with excitement. Peter sat down inbetween Eugenie and Alexa as he started to sketch the dress right before them.

Alexa looked across to Eugenie and saw her face beaming with happiness and was almost in tears when Peter finished drawing the dress of her dreams. The style would fit Eugenie so well and followed the royal bride’s protocols closely. It was classical, timeless, but was completely what Eugenie would wear with her own personal flare added in.

“I love it!” Eugenie squealed with excitement. Her green eyes immediately darted towards her close friend Alexa and her mother. “What do you think?” The bride to be wanted their valued input.

“Are you sure that you don’t want more bling or lace? Not even a veil?” Sarah was slightly disappointed that it would not be as elaborate as she hoped for. Til the moment Peter arrived, Sarah attempted to persuade Eugenie to go with a well known designer. But, Eugenie was adamant that Peter was the right choice.

“If I wear a veil no one will see my scar.” Eugenie sighed. “I want that to be showcased… for anyone that had to go through the same thing as me. I want them to know that you can still be beautiful even if you have scars.”

Alexa smiled proudly at Eugenie’s decision. “I think that is wonderful, Eugenie.” She added in. “I know you will look gorgeous in this dress and if it is everything you want, than I love it even more.”

Both Eugenie and Alexa glanced over at Sarah hoping that she would agree. “Well, if you love it sweetie I am on board all the way!” The group cheered as everyone was now on the same level.

Peter nodded in agreement with Alexa. “It is a beautiful testament that I am happy to fulfill, your royal highness.”

“This is my dress!” Eugenie fondly looked down at the sketch one more time. “I cannot wait to put it on!” The group dissolved into a quick laugh at Eugenie’s thrilled excitement on the matter.

“All I need is your measurements and I will get started on it right away!” Peter spoke enthusiastically before laying his eyes on Alexa. “I believe it is your turn, maid of honor!”

This was the part that Alexa had not been entirely excited for. Eugenie was adamant that Alexa’s dress was to be designed by Piloto and that it would be fully covered by the royal family. “Come with me my darling.” Peter took Alexa towards the small pedestal in the middle of the room.

“What would you like to see yourself in?” Piloto asked Alexa. She simply shrugged her shoulders unsure of what to say.

“It’s Eugenie’s day and I am happy to wear whatever she wants me to.” Alexa got a subtle glare from Eugenie.

“Alexa, I want your input in this too. I mean you have to wear it!” Eugenie and Alexa shared a quiet glance.

“You tell me your ideas and I will add to it, but I don’t know what you want me to look like!” Alexa encouraged Eugenie to speak her mind. “This is your day, not mine!” She further added.

The princess sat back and looked up at Peter. “What are you thinking Peter?”

“A few questions first, Eugenie.” Peter cleared his throat. “Are we going with a traditional royal maid of honor look with matching white or ivory? Or would you like some color?”

“Traditional.” Eugenie nodded before standing up. “What I have been thinking of is something similar to Pippa’s dress in the fact of how the buttons come up the back, but I want it to be different than hers.”

“Hmm… do you like lace and maybe a tulle cover?” Peter eyed Alexa’s body as he circled around her.

“Yes.” Alexa nodded. “But not covering all the dress.”

“How about this.” Peter had done a complete circle around Alexa and stood beside Eugenie. “A simple ivory color with corded lace and a few organza flowers opening to a short veil laced train at the back. Buttoning up the back like Pippa’s but the front has a sweetheart neck line covered with a sheer lace and with small sleeves keeping with the traditional guidelines.” Peter thoroughly explained his vision. “It will be elegant, traditional, but also subtle in the design to not overshadow Eugenie’s.” Piloto added that in for Alexa, as he knew that was where her head was.

“I love that! I can already see you in it Lexi!” Eugenie smiled happily as she took in the view of Alexa standing on the little pedestal. “May you sketch a quick draft for us, Peter?”

“Of course!” Peter waved the girls over as they fawned over his talented sketch bringing the dress to life.

“Ooh Alexa that will look beautiful on you!” Sarah gasped in awe of the design.

“What do you think?” Eugenie grasped her quiet friends arm, wanting to hear her opinion.

“I like how subtly pretty it is.” Alexa smiled at the sketch before locking eyes with Eugenie. “If that is what you like as well, I will be happy to wear it!’

“Yes! Are you kidding me!” Eugenie started to giggle. “I love it!”

“Honey, there isn’t nothing subtle about that dress when it gets on that body of yours!” Peter chimed in making the group dissolve into a fit of laughter.

Peter got the last minute measurements he needed to start designing both of the dresses and was about to leave Kensington. The plan was to keep Eugenie’s designer under wraps until the morning of the big day to which Piloto had eagerly agreed to. “Once again, thank you for this opportunity for me to design this gorgeous dress for an even more beautiful bride, Eugenie.” He shook the Princess’s hand firmly. “And of course your maid of honor dress, Alexa.” Peter took Alexa’s hand in his, shaking it.

“Thank you Peter. I am so happy that I have chose you.” Eugenie was smiling from ear to ear. “I look forward to hearing from you and seeing the dresses in person!”

With Peter gone, Eugenie flopped herself down onto a chair. “That was exhausting!” She giggled as she repositioned herself. “But, I am so excited to see them. Lexi you are going to be stunning!”

“Not as beautiful as you are going to be.” Alexa assured the princess.

Sarah was walking into the living room with Andrew in tow, carrying two large binders of papers. “Oh no.” Eugenie sat up straighter knowing exactly what they were as her eyes landed on Alexa.

“What?” She leaned in and whispered to Eugenie. Seeing her dreadful expression caused the blonde concern.

“Sorry to crash the party, but I thought it would be best for Alexa to get started on the protocols and policies she needs to be aware of.” Andrew practically slammed the binders down on top of the coffee table making a loud thudding sound.

Alexa’s eyes grew big, staring at the binders of endless papers. She reached forward and grabbed one nearly dropping it onto the ground not realizing how heavy it was. “I have to know all of this?” Alexa’s worried green eyes glanced up at Andrew, watching him carefully as he sat down across from Eugenie and her.

“Yes.” He cleared his throat. “I have also booked a few etiquette classes for you with our advisor. With as many eyes that are going to be on you, we have to make sure you follow the protocols and etiquette acceptable of the royal family.” Andrew continued to build the fear that was growing within Alexa.

Her stomach started doing flips in all sorts of directions. When Alexa first signed up for this, she had no idea that it was going to be this much stress on top of it all. She knew a lot of eyes would be on her, but now they would be judging her every step, her every move.

“Also, I got word that BBC will be televising the wedding for the world to see.” Andrew smiled pleasantly as Alexa flipped through the pages and pages of protocols. “I hate to just drop this and run, but I have a meeting to attend to.” He rose from his seat and placed a light grasp on Alexa’s shoulder. “Send me your schedule and I will book those classes as soon as we can!” Andrew walked out with Sarah leaving Eugenie and Alexa alone.

“You ok?” Eugenie rested her hand on Alexa’s knee.

Putting up a fake smile on her lips Alexa turned her attention towards Eugenie and nodded. “Yes. More reading than I thought, but it will be fine.” Not wanting to worry her best friend.

“I can help you carry those over to Harry’s if you would like?” Eugenie offered. “I cannot believe that you two are now official!” She stood straight up from her seat with an elated smile. “I am so happy for you two! Have you discussed whether you wanted to be seated at the same table at the reception?” Eugenie started to bombard Alexa with questions causing more stress added to the pile. “Maybe you two will be outed as a couple by then and it won’t matter!”

“Uh, no we haven’t had any time to really talk further about anything really. What do you mean?” Alexa stood up and watched Eugenie walk with a bounce in her step.

“Well when the press find out that you two are in a relationship silly.” Eugenie gave Alexa a raised eyebrow. “I mean.” She paused briefly. “You are my best friend and will soon be announced as my maid of honor. Then to find out that you are dating my cousin who happens to be Prince Harry… it will be a big story!

Alexa’s heart sank in her chest. Harry and her had only recently decided to be an official couple and she had entirely forgot about the whole media thing. They had hardly any time to really discuss the matter further as Harry had left the next day back to base and had hardly spoken since their goodbye last weekend, other than short phone conversations here and there.

Harry was on his way back to London and the plan was for Alexa to spend the weekend with him at his cottage after she was finished more planning with Eugenie this evening. But, now the stress of it all was finally hitting Alexa harder than she expected.

“You can’t keep your relationship a secret forever. They are bound to find out about it.” Eugenie kept talking in the background as Alexa was caught up in her own thoughts as an overwhelming sense begin to build within herself. “But, let me know about the seating at the reception soon. I have to get it done in the next few weeks.”

“We will.” Alexa glanced down at the time on her phone. Harry was still a solid hour and a half away from Kensington, but all Alexa wanted was a little time to herself to regain her composure for when Harry arrived. She had been waiting all week to see him and only wanted to enjoy her time with him. “I think I am going to head over to Harry’s now. I wanted to get some dinner made for when he got home tonight.” Alexa turned around and grabbed the heavy binders. “Do you mind getting an RPO to take me over there?”

“Oh my god. That is the sweetest thing!” Eugenie cooed. “You are going to make dinner for Harry?” The princess swooned at the thought of how romantic it was. “I remember when Jack and I were first in a relationship… all the sweet little gestures and the good sex!” Eugenie started to reminisce.

“I better go though…” Alexa forced a smile on her face as she grabbed her bag and heavy binders heading for the door.

“Thank you again for doing all of this for me, Lexi.” Eugenie pulled her friend into a warm hug. “It means the world to me that you will be by my side that day.”

“I would do anything for you, you know that.” Alexa squeezed her tighter, but her mind was simply elsewhere.

“Have a good evening with Harry and I will see you Saturday night?” Eugenie gently reminded Alexa that they had plans tomorrow evening with Beatrice and Dave to a Harry Potter Trivia at a bar.

“Yes, that is the plan hopefully. I will talk about it with Harry though and see if he is up for it.” Alexa watched an expression grow on Eugenie’s face.

“Since when did you need Harry’s approval for hanging out with me?” The princess kind of snapped at Alexa, taking her off guard.

“Eugenie....” Alexa drug out her name. “It’s not that I need his permission, its the fact that my boyfriend is in the city for the weekend and I want to make sure he didn’t make other plans for us first before I fully agree to it.”

“Oh, ok.” Eugenie shrugged it off and placed a half fake smile onto her lips, slightly concerning Alexa.

Not wanting to make this more of a big deal, Alexa waved goodbye and followed behind Harry’s RPO Magnus who graciously offered to help her carry the binders for her.

Magnus opened the door into Harry’s home and held it open as she stepped inside. “Do you know when Harry is to arrive?” She turned around and asked Magnus wanting to know how long she had to cook dinner.

“Just over an hour, Miss Grey.” Magnus asked if she required any further assistance and showed himself out.

Alexa made herself at home and settled into Harry’s cottage. She opened the fridge door and searched through a nearly empty fridge wondering what she could cook for dinner.

——————

Harry entered his cottage and the immediate smell of a delicious meal wafted into his nose. He could hear something being chopped up with light music playing in the background as Alexa’s voice sang to it. The prince had no idea that she could sing so he quietly kicked off his shoes and stepped carefully towards the kitchen with his bag slung around his shoulder.

Rounding the corner, he was relieved to see that Alexa was still unaware that he had gotten home. Harry leaned up against the wooden pole and quietly watched her sway her body back and forth while wearing an apron, chopping away at some veggies singing her heart out to an Ellie Goulding song.

Her eyes lifted to find a shadow figure from the corner of her eye. Alexa’s head snapped up towards the figure to see Harry standing there with a big grin plastered on his face. An embarrassed Alexa ducked below the counter and cringed knowing that Harry caught her singing. “How long have you been standing there?” Alexa yelled out before bravely standing up to face Harry.

All she could hear was his infectious laugh ringing out. “Long enough to hear that amazing voice you apparently forgot to tell me about.” Harry locked eyes with Alexa the moment she stood back up from behind the counter. He was now casually leaning on the other side of the island counter smiling down at her.

“Well, welcome home.” Alexa giggled while walking towards her boyfriend. Harry wrapped his arms around her and lifted Alexa’s feet off the ground, hoisting her up in the air. Settling Alexa back down on her feet, Harry hastily wasted no time in locking their lips together.

“It is good to be home indeed, home to see my girlfriend.” Harry exaggerated the word and watched that smile he had been waiting to see grow on her lips. His eyes stole a few silent moments looking deep into those green eyes that he had missed while he was away. The couple had agreed to spend the weekend together, making the effort to spend as much time as possible when Harry was home in London to make this long distance thing work.

“I made you dinner, boyfriend.” A proud Alexa was beaming up at Harry.

“I smell it.” He sniffed the air and looked towards the stove. “Smells delicious, Lexi.” Harry looked towards the unchopped veggies left that Harry had interrupted Alexa working on. “Can I help you finish up?” He kindly offered to help.

“No, no.” Alexa was quick to reply. “Have a seat. I am nearly done.” She picked back up the knife and started to chop the vegetables. “Besides, I am sure you had a long day travelling home.”

Harry slowly sat down on the bar stool across from his girlfriend and watching her expertly cut the vegetables. “It was a quick drive home, not too bad.” His eyes scanned the kitchen and saw two giant binders full of stacked papers. “What are these?”

Alexa lifted her eyes up for a second to see Harry opening the binders and flipping through the pages. She silently looked back down not really wanting to get into how nervous she was becoming about the wedding.

“Protocols?” Harry’s deep voice asked as Alexa’s silence did not go unnoticed by the prince.

“Yep.” She replied shortly. “Do you mind grabbing plates and cutlery. Dinner is ready in about two minutes.” Alexa changed the subject quickly, but Harry could feel the stress exuding from her body.

————

“Wow, that chicken was amazing.” Harry pushed his plate away and leaned back with a full tummy. “You are an excellent cook.” He complimented Alexa who took her last bite of chicken.

The prince had noticed how strangely quiet she had become. Alexa barely spoke a word to him over dinner and often would catch her staring in a distracted trance as if her mind were elsewhere tonight. “You seem awfully quiet tonight. Everything alright?” Harry felt it was best to bring it up and see if he could help her in any way.

Alexa sighed deeply at Harry’s question. “Honestly, no. Not, really.” She confessed with a lowered head that Alexa then cradled in her hands.

“What can I do?” Harry offered sweetly, not liking to see Alexa this stressed.

“I don’t know, Harry.” Alexa lifted her head to lock eyes with the prince. “Burn those stupid binders for starters!” She started to giggle, but it faded all too quickly for Harry’s liking.

“I am sure I could arrange that.” Harry barked a laugh. “Why don’t we head over to the sofa and you can tell me what’s got you so stressed out?”

“I’d really like that.” Alexa’s heart skipped a beat seeing the kindness in Harry’s eyes in wanting to make things better for her. She followed the prince to his living room and sat down right beside him angled to face Harry with her legs on top of his lap.

“Comfy?” He asked sweetly to which Lexi nodded. “Talk to me, babe.” His blue eyes glazed over with evident concern.

“I was ok until your uncle Andrew brought those binders over to Eugenie’s this afternoon and started talking all about the policies and protocols I needed to know. Then he started on about the etiquette classes that I would have to take and I got overwhelmed and stressed.” Alexa breathed out. “This all comes natural to you and your family and I mean I know a few things, but to have to know those front and back is stressing me out a little. Let alone if I fuck up, it’s televised in front of the whole world… and your grandmother.”

Harry’s hand gently rubbed up and down her leg letting Alexa know he was there for her. “I can completely understand that.” He offered his support. “She would probably just giggle at you to be honest… well in her head at least.” Harry tried to lighten the mood, but a glaring set of green eyes told him not to.

“Then Eugenie asked me if you and I were going to be sitting together at the reception…” Alexa trailed off letting it sink in for him what the real issue was that was causing so much stress within her.

“Ah… I see.” He released a deep breath knowing where Alexa was leading.

“She started talking about maybe we wouldn’t need to decide since our relationship could already be out in the open before then and how big of a story it would be.” Alexa peaked up at Harry.

Harry pursed his lips together, slightly angry with Eugenie. He did not have the chance to have a long conversation with Alexa about their relationship since they officially became a couple. He had hoped that they would at some point, but Eugenie forced his hand now.

“I know we did not get a chance to talk before I had to leave last weekend.” Harry held Alexa’s gaze while taking in a breath, giving the prince a moment to think of where to start. Her green eyes were pleading with Harry to relieve her of some of this added on stress. His features softened as he caressingly held Alexa’s hand hating to see her this overwhelmed.

“My life…” he started out, “is complicated at best.” His head lowered to see their fingers intertwined. “My family is very much in the public eye whether we like it or not it is part of our job as the monarchs to be seen. With that being said, there is a very fine line between our public and private life which is often over stepped by the media. That means any relationship I am, at some point it is exposed and becomes public when it is meant to be kept private.” Harry spoke through pressed lips.

Alexa slowly nodded, reminding herself of certain situations she witnessed with Eugenie. Her hand interlocked their fingers tighter, holding on tight.

Harry lifted his head and locked in Alexa’s deep green gaze. “Our relationship will get out eventually if we continue this, Alexa. It would be naïve of us not to think that. This is why I like to keep things in private as long as possible so we can get to know each other on our own without the press breathing down our necks or harassing you.”

“I know it will.” Alexa’s voice was softly quiet.

“I need to be completely honest with you and you need to understand what is going to happen once it does get out. I hate having these conversations, which is why I left it last weekend without having it. I wanted to enjoy the fact that I get you all to myself for the time being.” Harry leaned down and kissed Alexa’s forehead as she closed her eyes welcoming the tender kiss. “It’s not meant to scare you, but you need to be aware of what being my girlfriend means.”

Harry watched her chest rise and fall uneasily, her breathing becoming harder as he rested his forehead against Alexa’s for a lingering second. Her eyes were still closed tightly as she listened to his voice.

“When people find out about us, they will want to know everything about you and I mean everything. It’s a media frenzy to be the first to figure out who you are and any little detail about our relationship. They will talk to people in your past, your old bosses, teachers, neighbors anyone to get a story out of.” Alexa’s eyes fluttered open before resting her head on the back of the sofa, keeping eye contact with Harry. “They will harass you, follow you, shout names at you to even get any reaction for a photograph. They can be ruthless and lack any regard or respect. The hard part is not reacting to it as badly as you want to. Don’t say a word, just keep your head low and keep going.”

“And there is nothing that you can ever do about it.” Alexa added, finishing off Harry’s warning of the press and their habits. “Don’t be surprised. I know a few things of how it works. I have been friends with Eugenie ever since I could write my own name.” Alexa giggled seeing the surprised expression on his face.

“I will never blame you if it is too much for you too handle. I don’t expect someone to willingly subject their self to all of this madness, it’s not always worth it.” Harry wanted Alexa to understand fully what it meant to be involved with a royal.

“It is though.” Alexa was quick to answer, surprising the prince as he snapped his attention back towards the blonde with a confused expression. “It’s worth it.” She rephrased her reply. “I mean, look at what Jack and Eugenie have… or your brother and Kate. Nothing worth fighting for is ever easy, and I know you can’t always intervene, but I can handle myself Harry.”

“Alexa… you aren’t understanding what I am warning you about. Do not be naive.” He dropped her hand and stood up hastily. How could Alexa be this naïve? It was all worth it?

“I think I understand just fine, thanks.” Alexa clapped back angrily, unknowingly setting off a switch in the prince.

Harry turned around with a menacing look and practically yelled at Alexa. “Do you think my mother understood just fine? Do you really think someone warned her about this fucked up life? Do you think she understood what she signed up for?” Alexa in drew a gasp unsure of how to respond to Harry’s sudden lashing out.

“Well we can’t ask her that now can we?” The prince added while making his point clear to Alexa. He turned his back towards her and walked a few steps away.

Alexa sat there frozen in time while a deafening silence fell between them. Before Harry walked away, she saw the pain circling in his blue eyes at the thought of how people had mistreated his mother. He was only having this conversation with her so Alexa fully understood what was going to happen, but he was giving her a quick out she was not willing to take.

Harry was holding his head in his hands supporting himself up with his elbows that wavered back and forth on the cool countertop. He had horribly lashed out at Alexa out of nowhere. All he wanted was for her to understand, but clearly she could not get what she agreed to when he asked Alexa to be his girlfriend. It was only a matter of time before things got out and with Alexa being Eugenie’s maid of honor, she would already be in the spotlight.

But just as he could not protect his mother from the cruelty of the press combined with royal life… he could not protect Alexa from it either. That part was already chewing him up from the inside. He had been thinking about it all week, how her adoring smile was bound to fade once the awful stories ripped her apart piece by piece as she came crying to him about it all. He would again helplessly hold and comfort her time and time again after she read the lies printed about her, even when he encouraged her not too.

Alexa slowly stood up from the sofa and drew in a breath. Her heart was aching for Harry knowing that his anger came from a place of fear for her. She took a quiet moment trying to see it all from his perspective and why he had lashed out. Seeing the muscles of his back through his shirt rippling through knowing that he was tense as he stood with his back to Alexa.

He felt a gentle hand slowly rub his back as he swallowed a lump in his throat. “Harry?” Alexa whispered cautiously, to which the prince did not reply nor move from his spot. She wrapped her arms around him from the back and leaned in, kissing the back of his shoulder before resting her head on top of him.

“I don’t understand what you must be feeling right now…” Alexa softly spoke. “I do know that there is no doubt in my mind that you would protect me as much as you could.” She let the words sink in. “I only said I understand what I am getting myself into and it is worth it to me to find out what there is between us because at the end of the day that is enough for me. You are enough for me.” His one hand reached down and placed it over top of her laced fingers across his abdomen.

Harry stood up slowly, lifting his arm up for the small blonde to cuddle in beside him. He was looking down as he caught her gentle green eyes peaking up at him with a small smile hinting at the corner of her lips. “Are you ok?” She quietly whispered as she searched in his deep blue eyes.

“Are you? I am the one that lost it on you…I’m sorry.” He apologized while tenderly caressing her cheeks with both hands. “I should never have yelled at you like that.” Through out this whole time, Alexa’s arms remained wrapped around Harry not letting go of him.

“I don’t like being yelled at, but I know where it was coming from.” She let Harry off the hook. “Your anger is only out of fear for me, but, I would rather you talk to me about her before it gets to that again. I am not saying you need to tell me everything, but know I don’t mind listening if you ever need to Harry. It’s part of my job to listen to people and help them.”

Harry’s finger lifted her chin to raise her mouth closer to his lips. “I am a lucky man to have you, Alexa.”

“Yeah, you are damn lucky.” Alexa’s laughter lightened the mood. He leaned down and captured her lips tenderly, sharing a deep kiss.

Breaking out of the kiss, Harry’s brow furrowed seriously. “And you are right, I will do whatever I can to keep you safe.”

“I know, because if you don’t I have a father and two older brothers.” Alexa casually reminded Harry while playfully squeezing his hips eliciting a smile she had been waiting for from the prince.

“Right…” He shook that thought right out of his head seeing the stacks of binders out of the corner of his eye. Leaving Alexa’s arms, he grabbed the heavy binders off the counter and looked back over his shoulder at his girlfriend. “Come with me, we are going to go through these awful things and I am going to help you.” He hoped that by helping relieve some of Alexa’s stress, he could make it up to her.

“Oh, you really don’t have to do that.” Alexa tried to convince him not to worry about it.”

“Grab a bottle of your favourite wine and get your get your cute ass over here.” Harry patted the spot next to him. “It’s the least I could do after adding even more stress to you tonight. Plus then you don’t have to read through all this shit.”

“Because you are the expert?” Alexa giggled and sat down close beside her boyfriend.

“Uh… yes.” Harry made a goofy face. “Ok, so first things first.” He opened the binder and started to summarize all of the protocols so simply making them less daunting for Alexa. She listened to Harry closely as he spoke while he explained with his hands.

“Ok, but when I walk down when do I have to curtsey and is it only to your grandmother? Or to your whole family?” Alexa nervously clenched her hands together as the prince stared into her eyes, imagining Alexa walking down the aisle behind his cousin Eugenie and how he was going to keep his bloody cool himself.

“What?” Alexa placed a hand on his knee. “Harry?” She looked into his glazed eyes.

“Shit…sorry.” Harry snapped out of his trance with a shake of the head. “Uh, no just to gran at the ceremony.”

Alexa rested her head on Harry’s shoulder and released a deep sigh. “Thank you for helping me with all of this. I know it must seem silly to you as these all come second nature to you. But, I appreciate it.” She leaned in and pressed a sweet kiss to his cheek.

“It’s not silly. God I would probably tell Eugenie to pick someone else if they made me take classes and read through all of this awful crap.” Harry slammed the binder shut loudly, nearly dropping it on the ground with its heaviness making a thudding sound.

“Believe me after today, with the designer talking about the dresses and everything is making me more nervous about it all.” Alexa paused for a moment. “But, it will all be worth it seeing Eugenie so happy that day.”

Harry angled his head down at Alexa who found his shoulder again to rest her head. “You are a great friend. I am sure she appreciates it, Lexi.”

“I am wondering how I am going to handle seeing you walk down that aisle and keep my cool in front of my family. I pray to god that Zara is not going to be sitting beside me.” He confessed whole-heartedly.

“Umm… sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I think she is.” Alexa fell into a fit of laughter seeing Harry’s concerned expression knowing fully that Zara would only make matters worse.

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