#god i hate zeke

[cedarw00div]

@archduke-enver-gortash

I had another image with them, but I didn't have the energy to draw them. But here they are!! The silly people!!

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Ngl youtube videos suddenly got me slowly turning into a Justin Russo hater.

[rogueshadeaux]

Chapter Thirty —  Infamous

“Well, sometimes if you have someone listen to something they haven’t heard before, they might notice something you didn’t.” Zeke patted the top of a sealed ammo case. “Gain a new perspective. I have a buncha dead drops I’m gonna have to listen to, and I need a conduit’s opinion.” 

5k words | 20 min read time | TRIGGER WARNINGS: more goddamn lore and links (i love you guys but it's messy work /s), references to death, disease, catastrophe.

Zeke eventually came back as we finished organizing the papers, taking a moment to crack his neck before looking down at us. “Y’all look about done,” he commented. 

Brent nodded. “Nearly, but I don’t think there’s anything here that’ll help.”

I couldn’t help but agree. There was a ton on Celia taking out less-than-desirable people, and while I wasn’t sure yet how to feel about the death of those guys, I knew it wasn’t enough to lead us anywhere. 

“Yeah, that’s how it goes sometimes,” Zeke sighed, moving back into the kitchen. “But keep an eye out and an open mind — sometimes things connect in ways you weren’t expecting. Now, your pops is making a call, trying to connect with someone that might have some old info we passed to her years ago. I’m sure when he comes back he’ll go over everything y’all found and see if something stands out.”

I stood, grabbing the little empty mug of coffee and moving to the kitchen with the intention of getting some water, letting the stream run over my hand for a few seconds to take in that peaceful feeling that always came with draining. I screwed my eyes shut and tried to let the calm wash over the anxiety in my chest — and nearly screamed as it jump started my heart and sent it soaring when I opened my eyes to see Zeke standing inches away on my side, arms crossed. 

“You good?” He asked me. 

Other than nearly having a heart attack because he snuck up on me? “I’m…okay.” I answered. “Just worried. What if all of this is useless, you know?”

“We’re just covering our bases, kid.” He said heartedly. Cheerfully. Way too happily for it still being nine in the morning. “We find nothing here, we’ll just go lookin’ somewhere else. Now,” he raised his voice a bit so it would flow over to Brent, turning so he could regard us both in his sight. “If y’all are done with those files, I could use some fresh ears on some things I have.” 

Brent cocked his head a bit, glancing between Zeke and I. “What do you mean?”

“Well, sometimes if you have someone listen to something they haven’t heard before, they might notice something you didn’t.” Zeke patted the top of a sealed ammo case. “Gain a new perspective. I have a buncha dead drops I’m gonna have to listen to, and I need a conduit’s opinion.” 

“You want…our help?” I asked. 

“Why not?” Zeke shrugged. “Figured it’s the best crash course for y’all — you’ve gotta learn what really happened with the Beast and First Sons and all that, anyways. Figure it’d be better to have sources.” 

So we started helping set up Zeke’s desk, moving piles of papers and magazines Zeke threw his hand over and insisted were nothing to make room for this weird little device he seemed to pull out of thin air. “What’s that for?” Brent asked, somehow managing to hold a printer like it was a weightless purse. 

“This? Just a little doohickey I made to listen to the dead drops. It’s either this, or I hunt down equipment that’s older than y’all two — and I’m not usually lucky in bidding wars on eBay.” 

“You made this?” Brent balked. Excitement quickly overtook his eyes, and I knew he was about to demand to know everything about the gadget as he soaked in the ingenuity. He’d be an inventor if he had the patience to fail.

I let the two ramble on about technical words that escaped me as I finished cleaning off Zeke’s desk, grabbing the ammo case he had brought over and opening it. There was a dank smell that wasn’t at all pleasant, the dozens of little chips in it settling with the same sound LEGOs in a bin did. When there was a lull in conversation, I looked to Zeke, asking, “Why haven’t you uploaded these to a cloud or something? It would make storing them easier.” And it would smell less like swamp, too. 

Zeke, though, scoffed. “What, put them online where anyone could claim them? Where the government probably has a backdoor and could delete ‘em for good? Absolutely not.”

He turned to hook the device up to the computer, giving Brent the chance to look at me and shrug. 

Dad came into the room just as Zeke finished hooking up the device, and looked between the three of us. “I’m gonna go talk to Eugene, and then I’ll be back down here to help.” He glanced at the papers on the ground. “You guys organize everything?”

We both nodded. “There’s one pile of random stuff I couldn’t really link together, but yeah,” Brent added.

Dad hummed. His eyes breezed over the room but didn’t really seem to settle on any one thing. “Alright, I’ll be right back,”

He disappeared from the room as quickly as he came. 

“He seems distracted,” Brent muttered to me. 

“Hopefully in a good way,” I added. 

“Hopefully in a way that gets us more food. I’m starving.”

“You just ate!”

“Yeah — eggs.” Brent complained in a whisper. “You think that’s enough?"

I shot him a glare just before Zeke turned back around. “Alright, I think the thing’s set up. Pass me a chip, Jean?”

I nodded, grabbing one randomly and laying it in Zeke’s outstretched hand. “You’re sure this will work?”

“Well,” he popped his mouth as he inserted the chip and opened something on his computer. “It either works or explodes.”

“Explodes?”

“Yeah. So you two might wanna step back for a moment till we know which is which,”

Brent and I listened without another word, moving into the living room. I couldn’t help but notice how Brent stood in front of me, arm twitching like it was ready to grow a shield as Zeke finished pressing some buttons and breathed deeply before switching the machine on, flinching as he did so. 

No big boom came, though; there was a shrill trill of static, a sort of vibrating tone like it was calibrating, and then the most shocking noise — a British voice. 

“Audio report. Final.” The British voice says on the recording in between bursts of loud bangs. “The door won't hold them. I've done what I could to reverse the damage I've unleashed on the world. After Bertrand took control of the First Sons, I chose to stay on and I committed further acts of horror up under his twisted leadership. His resources allowed me to finish the RFI. That is all that matters. My God, I hope it works.” There’s another loud bang, loud enough to make me jump in place. “I hope it exceeds my wildest expectations and put an end to the Plague—”

There was this huge screeching sound as metal itself was broken, clinking against the floor.

“Forgive me Kuo,”  the voice rushes to say, “I wish I could've warned you—” 

It cut off as the sound of a chair scraping against the floor raked through the static, and then there were punches. That same British voice huffed out in pain until the recording became muffled and then forcefully turned off.

We both stayed silent as Zeke seemed triumphant with the success of the device. “Who was that?” Brent eventually asked, the first to shake off the stupor of what we just heard. 

“Sebastian Wolfe,” Zeke explains, turning his chair slightly so we were in his eyesight. “He was one of the head First Sons scientists.”

“He was trying to end the plague?” I asked. 

Zeke leaned back in his chair, biting on his tongue for a moment. “He…he was. Or, did,” He began. “That’s what the RFI was for,”

“What’s an RFI?” Brent asked. 

Zeke didn’t get to answer; Dad was coming back down the stairs, standing at the foot of them and leaning against the frame of the stairwell. “It’s what stopped the Beast.”

I cocked my head to the side, looking between Dad and Zeke. “I thought…I thought Cole defeated the Beast?”

“He did,” Zeke rushed to say. “He did. But it wasn’t like in the stories where David knocks down Goliath and wins. He had to make a hard choice.”

“The RFI purged ray field energy.” Dad took over. “Cleared it, and that included what was in the magnetic field at the time. Taking it away killed the Beast, but it’s also why almost every conduit died. None of us can survive without it.”

“So that’s….that’s what the mass death was?” I asked. “People said it was because of the Beast dying—”

Dad scoffed, sounding rather annoyed at the idea. “We aren’t minions to something bigger,” He said. “It’s not like we can’t survive without the Beast. Obviously we can — he’s gone. But think about it for a second; if the truth was told, and everyone knew there was a device to kill Conduits — you think there wouldn’t be certain people trying to use it?”

Brent and I glanced at each other; no, it was very likely there would be someone trying to remake the device. And I didn’t like that idea at all. 

“I’ve been hiding the notes on the RFI for years so that no one would have that sorta power,” Zeke said. “It didn’t work the first time — it just caused pain. I don’t want it to cause any more.”

My brow knit, and I realized something; the Beast happened in 2011. But Dad…Dad was older than that. “Dad?” I asked. He looked at me, raising an eyebrow in a silent prod to continue. “How did…how did you survive?”

Dad rubs the scruff on his chin. “Don’t know. None of us do.”

“Everyone’s been wondering since they started comin’ back,” Zeke said. “Or, when some didn’t die. It was supposed to work.”

“It was supposed to kill Conduits.” Brent said flatly beside me. “That sounds more like genocide than saving.”

Zeke looked over at Brent with a surprising fire in his eyes. “It would have killed either way. You know how many people would have died if Cole didn’t use the RFI? The plague wasn’t just killing regular humans, kid—anyone with the plague was dying. Conduits included.”

“Inactivated Conduits,” Dad corrected. “Which means I would have died, too, if I caught it.”

Brent had the foresight to at least look remorseful at the fact. “So if you weren’t activated or had the gene, you were just fucked?”

“Brent—”

“C’mon, Dad—”

Zeke interrupted. “Yep. No powers…no survival.”

That silenced the room. No powers, no survival. Cole was literally stuck having to choose between the needs of the many, or the needs of the few—there were even less Conduits then than there were now. Imagine killing off the entire population just to save, like, 7% of it. 

I couldn’t imagine how he felt making that choice, no matter how right it was. 

Zeke eventually sighed, saying, “Hand me another chip, please.”

I nodded, looking down at the case in my hand and picking one at random. Zeke took it from my outstretched hand and wiped down its surface with the hem of his shirt. He takes a deliberate amount of time hooking it up to the device, long enough that Dad leaves to look at the files Brent and I organized and Brent moves to sit back on the couch. 

There was another harsh burst of static before the audio of the next file came through. “Audio surveillance file X76,” that same British guy, Wolfe, said. “Meeting with John White and Lucy Kuo.”

“I wanted to, eh,” a really deep and really grainy voice came on the speaker, “Advise you of a recent incident. Kessler’s plan is unclear to me, so I’ll just stick to the facts: Kessler kidnapped MacGrath’s girlfriend, Trish, and dangled her off of a rooftop.”

“Holy shit,” Brent murmured as my hand came over my mouth. 

“He said MacGrath had time to save her. But there was another rooftop with six doctors about to die. MacGrath had to choose.”

Dad shook his head from his place on the floor. Cole had to choose between six innocent people and his girlfriend? That had to be horrible!

A feminine voice, clean and disgusted, simply said, “Sick!” while Wolfe responded with “Madness!” in his best impression of an aghast 1800s European settler. 

That grainy deep voice came back on. “He…tried to save his girlfriend. I dunno, maybe he was selfish, but…” he inhaled deep enough for the recording to catch it, “I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same.” Then he scoffed. “Kessler killed them all anyway.”

“Of course,” the feminine voice muttered. 

“Evidently he wanted to toughen up MacGrath before the Beast arrives.” The deep voice said. “And who knows — maybe he succeeded. MacGrath definitely seems tougher than I’ve ever seen him.”

The dead drop beeped, signaling its end and leaving us all with so many questions. 

“Who was Kessler?” I asked first before anyone else could speak. 

Zeke sighed, rubbing a hand over his eye like it was too early for a conversation like this. Maybe it was. “He was the leader of the First Sons.” Zeke started. “Took over the position from some guy he overthrew, I forget his name. Robert? I dunno. I know his son’s name was Alden Tate,” Zeke paused, turning his chair to face all of us. “Kessler wanted Cole to be the one to fight the Beast.”

“So he killed his girlfriend to get him to do it?” Brent asked, incredulous.

“It was about the choice,” Dad realized from the side. “Be selfish, or worry about the greater good.”

Zeke nodded. “And he picked the wrong answer. They all died.”

“How is saving your girlfriend the wrong answer?” Brent demanded. 

I ran a finger along the texture of my cast. “It isn’t exactly caring about the greater good…” I murmured. “The doctors probably…they would have been a lot more helpful in Empire City, if it was as bad as Zeke says.”

Brent glared at me. “So you’d sacrifice someone for that? If it was me or Dad or—”

“I didn’t say I would!” I shot back, rolling my eyes. Brent could be so short-sighted, it was annoying.

“Guys,” Dad said off on the side, glaring at us both pointedly. His eyes flicked over to Zeke, who looked like he was going through the five stages of grief as fast as he possibly could. 

“He was going to propose to Trish, later that year,” Zeke said, more to himself than anyone. “He wasn’t…he didn’t want to lose that. It had broken him.”

I think it would have broken anyone. 

“Was that the idea?” Dad asked Zeke. “Make him get used to making those hard choices?”

Zeke nodded. “Yeah. That’s what Kessler told him, anyway. He needed someone that would be able to make the decision, in the end. That could fight the Beast and have nothing to lose.”

“That’s messed up,” Brent uttered. “He basically groomed MacGrath.”

“Messed up ain’t even the half of it, kid.” Zeke said. He sighed hard, and then motioned silently for me to give him another dead drop. 

Wolfe’s voice crackled on. “Audio surveillance of Agent John White, file D102.”

That same deep voice was back, but crystal clear this time. That must be the guy, John White. “I was carrying the Ray Sphere out of the lab when Kessler stopped me. It was...it was strange. He said that I had an important destiny, that I'd accomplish great things.”

Wolfe hummed. “I used to be a skeptic, but many of his predictions actually do come true.”

The guy, John, hesitated to answer. “I don’t know…the way he looked at me? Made me want him to be wrong.”

The dead drop ended there, the most useless one so far. 

At least, I thought so. Dad, however, felt otherwise. “Who was John White?” He asked Zeke. 

Zeke hesitated. “He, uh…he was an NSA agent. Him and Kuo, they were both supposed to infiltrate the First Sons and get more information on them.”

Dad’s brow furrowed. “I thought…I thought that the government funded the First Sons?” 

Zeke threw his head side to side as he tried to figure out how to explain this to Dad. “Well, yes, but they didn’t know they were. The woman in charge of DARPA at the time had a deal with Kessler on the side. You know, under the table, ‘you scratch my back I’ll scratch yours’ sorta stuff. She knew of the First Sons because of their investigations, and then she found out about the Ray Sphere.”

Dad scoffed. “Hear about some magic eight ball that can give you powers, and of course you’ll be interested.”

“Exactly.”

“But why would Kessler think that this White guy was important?” Brent asked from the side. “What, could he see into the future or something?”

Zeke didn't answer that immediately. His eyes sorta traveled off like Dad’s always did when talking about his past, when he was reliving memories that left bad tastes in his mouth, and he inhaled deeply. “John helped us in Empire City, during the quarantine. He tracked down the Ray Sphere and him and Cole destroyed it.”

After a breath, Zeke added. “It also killed him. At least, we thought it did.”

A shadow seemed to come over Zeke’s face, and from where I was, I could see the grip he had on the arm of his chair tighten. “What happened?” I asked softly. 

Zeke’s next breath was a bit shuddered. “It activated him. John was the Beast.”

“Oh, shit.” Dad murmured. Brent was too shocked to throw in his own curse words. "So Kessler made the Beast,” Dad scoffed. “Glad to know the First Sons have been the root of every problem.”

“None of this makes sense,” Brent murmured, head in his hands. 

I couldn’t help but agree with Brent; my mind was reeling. Not only was there some group with science advanced enough to activate Conduits, but they managed to make the Beast. They created the creature that killed millions and practically turned the east coast into a wasteland. 

Zeke had us listen to more dead drops, explaining things along the way; Kuo was another agent tasked with collecting intel at the New Marais First Sons’ base, and Dr. Wolfe was recording these dead drops behind both her and John White’s backs to send to the NSA so they could make sure there was no backstabbing going on. Other recordings featured Joseph Bertrand III, the guy I knew from our history books as the Alt. Right businessman-turned-politician that people contributed with starting the ‘small government’ movement that led to his easy fascist takeover in New Marais. Apparently racist rhetoric and anti…well, anything he deemed sinful wasn’t enough, because he was the head of the First Sons’ New Marais base as well, in search of power. He took the First Sons’ assets the moment Kessler died and used everything to fund his fascist army, the Militia, passing Dr. Wolfe human test subjects to play with along the way. 

Those test subjects are what caught Dad’s attention, especially as Dr. Wolfe recorded himself speaking to one. 

“I paid a visit to the First Sons' dorms where the Vermaak men were housed.” Dr. Wolfe said into the mic. “Subject 881 approached me and we took a walk. The recording follows.”

“You seem…” the accented voice hesitated. “Agitated, Doctor.”

“I figured out what Bertrand has in store for you. He's going to use the Transfer Device, isn't he?” Dr. Wolfe demanded. 

881 sighed. “Sorry, you know I can't say.”

Wolfe wasn’t going to take no for an answer. “Do you know who the Conduit is?” he demanded. 

“I just... can't comment on this.” 881 talked over him, and I could only imagine the head shake that came with it.

Dr. Wolfe switched to pleading, saying, “You need to know something. The transfer procedure was never designed to split abilities among multiple recipients. I don't know what it will do.”

“You…” 881 drew off, “Just got my attention.”

Dr. Wolfe continued, “Theoretically you'll all be ‘over-clocked,’ so to speak. You'll receive a portion of the true Conduit's power but your body will wear itself out trying to sustain it! You may go insane.”

There was a pause, and then the Vermaak soldier asked, “Why are you telling me this, Doctor? Bertrand, he wouldn't like it.”

Dr. Wolfe sighs hard. “I'm not a brave man, but if I'm right and you and your men lose control, then I'll have far more to fear from you than Bertrand.”

“Did he…” Dad asked the moment the dead drop beeped, signaling its end. “Did he say the Vermaak?” 

“Yep.” Zeke swiveled in his chair to face Dad. “Bertrand took out a contract with this private military group and used those guys to make Conduit soldiers. He planned to sell ‘em overseas.”

“I know that name.” Dad hums. “Vermaak 88. They were like some version of green berets from Africa, I think. Reggie worked with them on his tour in Iraq. They were…pretty ruthless, from what he told me when he came back.” 

“Yeah, that’s why Bertrand hired them originally — for protection,” Zeke hummed, already digging in the ammo crate for another chip he deemed worthy enough to listen to. “At least, that’s what everyone thought. Turns out, he was being paid under the table to make superhuman soldiers for a buncha war lords.”

“So he was hired, not the other way around?” I asked, Zeke nodding in response.

“Yep. Only guy in the world that had a power transfer device before Brookie and her government funding walked into the picture.” Zeke held up a chip, examining it close. “One on one, the transfer worked damn near flawlessly. Cole only was out for about four minutes when he did it—”

“Woah, wait,” Brent hummed, holding out a hand to pause Zeke’s tangent. “Cole was a forced Conduit?” 

Zeke let the hand holding up the chip fall, chuckling a bit. “No, no — well, if you don’t count the Ray Sphere as forced. Jury’s still out on that one. But Cole had gotten another power from someone. Kuo, actually.”

Dad’s head tilted slightly. “You mean…he had more than one power?” he asked, eyes betraying how much the statement confused him. I couldn’t blame him; there wasn’t any other Conduit I knew that had more than one power. Anyone but him.

Zeke seemed to realize this as well, saying, “Yeah — he wasn’t as strong in the other power as his electricity, but he could use both on a whim. Sometimes even combined the two, that was always cool to see.”

Dad’s confusion grew, and something else played in his eyes: betrayal, maybe? “He could use both at the same time?” Dad asked, almost disbelieving. 

Zeke nodded. “Yep. Sorta together, more than anything. Like he needed some of his electricity to work the power.”

Brent’s brow furrowed. “That’s nothing like how you do it,” he muttered, looking at the floor before glancing up at Dad.

Dad’s eyes were now off of Zeke and facing the wall, boring a hole into the wood as he chewed on his cheek. “It’s not.” He agreed, seeming to hate the fact that he did. He glared at the grain a bit longer, like the patterns would shift and give him the answers to his unasked questions, before slightly shaking his head, refocusing on Zeke. “He used a power transfer device for that? Like the one Augustine had?”

Zeke nodded. “Well, similar. Couldn’t tell you what the old one was like, considering it blew up before anyone else got a chance to play with it. I wasn’t even there when Cole hooked himself up to it.”

“So he was the only one to use it?” I asked before Dad could. 

“Well, him and the Vermaak.” Zeke replied, bringing up the corner of his shirt to try and polish the dead drop chip in his hand. “You heard Dr. Wolfe — Bertrand had him use the device on multiple people at once. Dunno how, and they all escaped before we could find out more. So we were stuck not only fighting the Militia, but a bunch of half-sane ice soldiers while trying to prepare for the Beast—”

Everyone’s heads snapped around to look at Zeke so fast that he nearly dropped the ammo crate in surprise. “Ice soldiers?” we managed to chorus, only half a beat off from each other. 

“Y–yeah?” Zeke stuttered, looking between the three of us. “They were transferred ice powers from Kuo, after she was activated. Cole too.”

Brent and I both glanced at each other before looking at Dad, who was staring at Zeke with a blank face before it cracked. His hands came up to press into his eyes. “Fuck,” he said, beginning to pace, “Fuck!”

Zeke was absolutely bewildered. “What, uh…why does that matter?”

I sighed hard on the side. “I was frozen by ice soldiers, in the fight with Augustine.”

“Oh, shit,”

“You know,” Brent deadpanned, leaning back on the loveseat. “Seems like everything comes back to the First Sons,”

“Always does,” Zeke huffs. 

Dad was still pacing, arms crossed now. “Bertrand was in charge here,” he muttered, a hand coming up to rub his face. He lifted his head, raising his voice slightly. “The ice soldiers were here. We’ve got to find their old base, maybe there’s something we could find that connects them to Archangel—”

“Delsin, this was some twenty-odd years ago,” Zeke said. “There’s a very small chance there’ll be anything left, between the military and any sorta urban explorers.”

“And they didn’t know what we do now,” Dad snipped. “There’s got to be something that can help us” He stopped, spinning in place to face Zeke. “Do you know where it is?”

Zeke hesitated. “I…I don’t. At least, I don’t remember. But one of these dead drops gotta have something that’ll help us,”

So we were stuck listening to more: of John White, telling the others how six blocks in Empire City were blown to bits when it was activated; of Bertrand, convinced he was doing something to honor God by gathering prisoners to test his own Ray Sphere on. 

There was a crackle, and then that same British voice again, far less panicked this time. “Audio surveillance of Agent Kuo, file G27,” he said.

 “I got my hands on an Echelon phone transcript the day Kessler detonated the Ray Sphere. He requested a very specific bike courier for the job.” She began. 

“Do you mean Cole MacGrath?” Dr. Wolfe asked. Brent’s head snapped around to look towards Zeke and his speakers now.

“There’s more,” The woman, Kuo, says. “I–I may have found some important new insight on Kessler, but I can't make it out. Kessler knew Cole MacGrath had the conduit gene, that's pretty clear, but I can't find his name in the First Sons database.”

“So…” Wolfe hesitated, “How did Kessler know Cole MacGrath had the gene?”

“Exactly.”

“Do you think they’re related?” Wolfe almost immediately asks after.

Kuo hesitates on the tape. “Huh…you know, I can try to find that out.”

The tape immediately goes dead, as if it was edited to the end of that exact statement. Dad was looking up from a file in his hand to where Zeke was, asking. “So who exactly was Kuo in all of this?”

“NSA Agent Lucy Kuo,” Zeke said, spinning his chair to face Dad. “She found us in Empire City and told Cole she had a way to make him powerful enough to fight the Beast.”

“And she was the ice conduit?”

“Yep.”

Brent was up himself now, having too much pent up energy. He was matching Dad’s steps earlier, pacing around the room. “How did he get more powerful to fight the Beast?”

“Blast cores,” Zeke says simply.

“Did the NSA know she was a conduit?” Dad interrupted before Brent could ask what the hell a Blast core was.

Zeke shakes his head. “Just that she had the gene. Bertrand’s the one that activated her, actually.”

I raised a hand like I was in class; this conversation was cool and all, but none of it was related to the very big piece of information in the dead drop we just heard. “Wait,” I started. “So — Kessler; he was in charge of the First Sons, right?” Zeke nods. “Okay, but then…how did he know Cole was a Conduit?”

Zeke had put on his glasses at some point, trying to mark each chip with a little code to signify what was on it. Now, though, he took them off, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “If I told ya, you wouldn’t believe me.” He said. 

What kind of an answer was that? 

Dad seemed just as perplexed. “What do you mean? We need to know everything we can if we’re going to figure this out—”

The stairs creaked, and Dr. Sims came down into the room, sighing hard. “Decoding that journal is gonna be harder than I thought,” he started, looking at Dad. “But I did get the emails,”

He said that last bit with that tone of voice Dad would use when he told us he got a message from our teacher when we were bad at school: We need to talk about it. 

“Kessler was a piece of shit, who knew too much for his own good,” Zeke responded, completely ignoring Dr. Sims’ intrusion. “It would be easier if we just left it at that.”

“But why choose Cole?” Brent asked, bewildered. “I mean — no offense to, you know, your old friend — but he was just an electricity Conduit. Why not pick someone stronger to fight against the Beast? Like Dad?” 

Dad ignored Brent’s praise to glare disapprovingly at Zeke. “You can’t hide something valuable like this,” he protested. “It could be exactly what we need to figure out what the hell is going on.” 

Zeke opened his mouth to respond when Dr. Sims interrupted. “Zeke,” he called gently. “They need to know.”

The argument in Zeke’s chest died on the tip of his tongue, and he made a weird noise as he deflated. He leaned back in his chair, running a hand through his hair as he chewed on his tongue, seemingly debating how to start this. Whatever he was going to say looked like it stressed him out to even think of. 

And I definitely wasn’t prepared for what came out of his mouth next. 

“Kessler was Cole. He traveled back in time after the Beast destroyed the world to try and stop it from happening.”

[spideyladman]

🌺🍓🍰 for "Russell"

🍧📖 for Zeke

And

✏️🚆 for Ms. Hexapol! >:]€ (who knows, maybe she has something to sher)

"Russell"

🌺 HIBISCUS - do they have any allergies?

He barely has any, except one: kiwi. Buddy hates kiwi, he hates how it burns his mouth and he would rather die than see a kiwi again.

🍓 STRAWBERRY - do they eat their fruit & veg? what is their favourite fruit or vegetable?

He kinda does eat his fruits and vegetables!! However he hadnt eaten them in a very long time and he needs to grow accustomed to them because the sudden taste of them makes him pretty shocked.

🍰 CAKE SLICE - favourite cake flavour? are they specific about types of cakes?

He absolutely adores red velvet with white icing and likes placing some marshmallows on them, but tries to eat it as slowly as he can, and makes sure that he doesn't choke on it.

Zeke

🍧 SHAVED ICE - do they still have any objects from their childhood? what significance does it have to them? what would their reaction be if they lost it?

He has some old plushies as well as old drawings from his childhood, and though his childhood was horrible to him, especially related to some of his family members like his mum as well as some people from the orphanage, he felt like his old drawings are an old comfort for him.

When he drew them he felt comforted because at the time when he drew them it was the only escape for him, one that he felt calmer because he was thinking about something else, without any arguments nor worries for the future or who he was.

If he ever lost anything of that he'd lose his mind almost immediately and urgently try to search everywhere, trying to leave no stone unturned, and leading him to an intense panic attack to the point that he could be stuck in one place while going nonverbal.

📖 OPEN BOOK - do they like reading? what's their favourite genre?

He does like reading! However it has to be something extremely specific that he wants or else he'll hate it and ditch it later, but thanks to his ADHD it can lead to him completely forgetting about it and wanting to go back to it, but his mind is focused on another thing, and that thing is important too, and he wants to do that thing a lot more than the other one.

He doesn't really have a specific genre taste, only that he likes reading either horror, mystery, fluffy, or just straight up smut fanfiction. But he has to take breaks or just straight ditch the last thing when he starts getting triggered by something or the smut entirely, even if it's just chill smut oop-

Ms. Hexapol

✏️ PENCIL - is there a particular quote / lyric that you associate with them?

Honestly this was the first thing that popped up in my head when I thought about it and it's from a song by Infected Mushroom that was made into an animation meme lol-

I try to change the formality and everything about it

People killing people for a reason

You make mistakes

You don't regret

So make a conclusion

🚆 TRAIN - what is their answer to the trolley problem?

Truth be told she'd check each of the people in the trolley problem, even from afar, and if she sees somebody that is her favourite from each side, and then swerve the trolley to the one track where she doesn't know anyone there.

If she sees that there are favourites on each track she'd consider which one is really her favourite, and then swerve the trolley to the one that is her least favourite. Of she sees that there is nobody who is her favourite, then she calculates which one looks good enough to be her friend and then swerve it to the rest.

[mikiruma]

we watched spiral earlier and good god what a shitshow! i'd say this would be more enjoyable if you watched 0 of the other saw movies but idk if theres anything enjoyable about chris rock playing a misogynist cop and being actively praised for being "the only good one/the best of the best" just because everyone else in his precinct is so much worse in comparison

[galaxywarp]

So do you have any recommendations for Kitchen Nightmares episodes? I saw the Amy’s Baling Company one once and I’ve been taking psychic damage ever since

Oh I love this ask. I’ve been binge watching. Here’s my recs:

Season 5 episodes 1 and 2 “La Galleria 33” parts 1 and 2. owners are a pair of sisters who are honestly fucking hilarious and he revisits them later and they do turn things around for the better so that makes watching even more satisfying for me. This is the episode with that famous waitress recommending the ravioli that’s terrible on purpose and smiling when asked why

Season 1 episode 15 “Black Pearl”. One of the most insufferable bastards of an owner on the whole show

Season 2 episode 2 “Flamangos” Gordon hates these guys decor so much he sets all of it on fire

Season 2 episode 12 “Sushi Ko” this one is more heartfelt. Owner is genuinely a good guy and good father he’s just very tired and needs help

Season 3 episode 12 “Capri” owners are a pair of goofy twins. Pretty fun episode

Season 3 episode 13 “Zeke’s” I hated these owners a lot lmao they bought a locally beloved restaurant after the previous owner Zeke died and then made it cheap and shitty and the whole staff hates them

Season 4 episode 15 “Cafe Hon” this owner fucking trademarked the word “hon” in Baltimore and would send cease and desist letters to anyone else trying to use the word “hon” so the community absolutely HATEDDDD her and Gordon interviews them. Very juicy

Season 4 episode 1 “Blackberry’s” this owner honest to god accuses Gordon Ramsay of planting a dead mouse in her restaurant. It gets nuts

HAVE FUN!!! Binge with me

[ambrosialdesire]

Can I request yandere porco x reader who doesn't take him seriously/ isn't afraid of him or being bratty or whatever so he transforms to scare her

hellion

18+ DARK CONTENT BELOW, MINORS + BLANK BLOGS DNI

pairing: s4 porco x fem!reader word count: 5.9k warnings + tags: general yandere and obsessive themes, unhealthy relationships, past + current human-trafficking/purchase mentions, forced feminization/infantilization, stockholm syndrome development, forced proximity, torture/violence mentions (choking, starvation, drowning, tying up), drugging (sedation), prey & predator vibes, kinda psychological horror?, humiliation, slight praise, degradation, slight gaslighting, kinda mindbreaky, all characters are 18+ synopsis: you were an impulse purchase that he never thought he'd make before, and although he doesn't regret it, he's having a difficult time trying to soothe your feisty spirit. who knew that all it took was one transformation and a chase you'll never forget? a/n: i'm gonna be so fr idk how to write bratty characters LOL i rarely read bratty readers in general so i'm really free-balling this 💀 kinda simple and to the point compared to my other fics, esp since i've never wrote for porco before so this is like testing the waters and most likely SUPER ooc. it's also more of a psychological fic since i'm not in the mood of writing complete nsfw haha but i hope you enjoyed this anon! sorry it also took so long to be done but then took me like three days to make and edit 😅 (i still think it's a little sloppy, esp the end BUT that's what anon questions are for so i can sorta explain and piece it together more lol) again, hope y'all enjoy!! note: please keep in mind of the tags above and do not proceed if triggering or uncomfortable, especially if you are a minor!! do not read my or any other writers' dark content if you are underaged. this is a fictional work and does not reflect irl morals, do not believe this is how a real romance works or functions.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.───

He hated when you got like this, putting up a constant nonsensical fight against him.

You'd be a perfect candidate to be his successor from the way you bite down into his skin when he tried to touch you, scratching up his face when he got too close, and always almost managing to slip through his grasp to dash towards the open basement door before he tugged the chain wrapped around your throat back towards him, watching you bare your teeth at him angrily. You were truly a wild animal, that's why he chose you in the first place.

Porco wanted to tame this wild spirit of yours, simply for the fact to see if he could.

Little progress was made, he made your purchase not long ago in the slums of Liberio, where the truly wicked and evil roamed to sell and purchase anything deemed illegal by the Marleyan government. As much as he refused to take these kinds of assignments, preferring to be back on the battlefield with Zeke and Pieck, Porco was already in deep waters for fighting with Reiner again. Not his fault that the Vice Captain's face was so punchable. Thus, here he was, being forced to shut one of the operations down that was said to involve a human-trafficking ring. Down he went alone in disguise, shuffling through the disgusting sweaty bodies of devil scum drooling over a piece of fresh meat on the stage.

He remembered got a good view of the bidding, eyeing each fearful chained-up person with boredom until you were pulled up. God, you really were the star of the stage. Two burly men had to tug your fighting body onto the crumbling wooden stage, a mixed sound of what could be a snarl and screech emerging through your cracked and bruised lips as you refused to move any further. You put up a good fight against the henchmen, the crowd jeering at the display of tug-o-war.

Once they managed to get you to the middle, the auctioneer started to ramble on about your pricing. Your hands may be wrapped in cloth and tied together, but the minute he neared you to show you off, you struck him with a mean uppercut, almost pouncing on him once he fell over before the two men held you back. Even then, you were thrashing around on your wounded feet, spitting out curses and howls at the fuckers beneath you, telling them that you'd hope they'd all burn and rot in hell.

He's the only one that snorted at that statement, feeling all eyes on him.

Porco really wasn't any different from those around him as he raised his hand up, offering over a thousand for the wild girl, more than what the other fucks around him could possibly afford. It won't make a dent in his bank account either because once he takes you home, the authorities would've already been called to the place. He gets to keep his money and you, while Marley gets rid of more scum; a two in one deal. You glared down at him, a burning fire settling deep within the darks of your pupils as he grinned back in return.

You were going to be a fun little purchase, that he's sure of.

He didn't really want to, but considering that you were a snappy little thing, you had to be down in the basement of his home until he managed to get your temper under control. The chain was long enough for you to reach the bathroom down there from the bed, but not long enough to reach the door. Once you managed to slightly calm down, realizing that your new "owner" was unfazed by your act as he leaned against the wall, you cautiously settled on the bed. You were still tense, unsure of what his intentions are.

"You got a name?" Porco started, finally breaking the silence as he crossed over his arms.

"You have my papers, don't you?" Your eyes squinted at him, the raspy retort coming quick out your mouth. He did, but he didn't bother looking at them just yet.

He scoffed, pushing himself off the wall, slowly stepping closer to you. "Snarky one, aren'tcha? Just tryna be a little civil here."

"Civility? Don't make me laugh. Buddy, you're the one that bought me. I think we both know that any sort of civility you had has been long gone the moment you raised your stinkin' fucking hand in the auction and brought me down here." If your temper wasn't enough indication of a need of reformation, your mouth definitely was.

"I'm surprised you even lasted that long in the slums with that tongue and attitude of yours, most would've been turned into chopped meat without even a second thought." You were about to say something back before he slammed his hand into your face, pushing your head into the bed and prying your mouth open with his fingers. A gurgle of a scream erupted out of your throat as you struggled to push him off you, but no dice.

"But I'm not like most. Me? I could crush your skull whenever I want, maybe slowly pull each of your limbs apart so you'll feel each tendon and ligament rip away from your sorry torso." Porco pushed harder until you got the message, silencing yourself as your face ached and throbbed from the pressure, yet your eyes still held that same vindictiveness from the auction that never seemed to quite be quenched. Your jaw abruptly closed around his fingers, a pained hiss slipping out of his lips as the pearly whites grinded into his skin.

He's going to relish seeing that light die from you, when you finally realize that he's the sole reason of your living, that you should've been grateful from the start that he's the one that bought you instead of the beer-gut ridden trash that wasted away in the slums.

Porco finally removed his hand out of your mouth, drool and teeth indentations staining his fingers. Light steam was coming off of them, the superficial wounds closing up. He knew you caught that, eyes focused on his hand.

"Now, get some rest. Training begins tomorrow."

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

When he said training, he meant torture.

That's what you thought as you experienced every debilitating and humiliating ritual he forced onto you every day. You eventually learned his name because of someone saying it upstairs — God you wished that the floors above were as soundproof as the basement's walls— Porco, but you called him 'piggy' sometimes, despite him trying to train you into saying sir. Simple, but it got him irritated real fast.

Porco was a strange man, you knew he was definitely not like the other men you've came across in your imprisoned life. Every wound you made on his person, no matter how deep you curled your nails into him or bite down as hard as you possibly could, he was left unblemished. Not even a fading scar or lasting indent, it was as if you've never injured him in the first place.

He bled, the taste of iron familiar on your tastebuds, but it really was like nothing occurred after a few minutes. You knew that he healed fast too, that weird steam came out of the wounds right after you inflicted it from what you could see with the lantern light, but you don't know why it did. Were you so out of touch from the outside for so long that new medical advancements were made?

He also disappeared for short periods of time, leaving you occasionally starving if he didn't leave enough food beforehand and surprisingly bored; he was really your only company nowadays, so it was quite frustrating to come to the conclusion that you'd even miss the bastard despite the shit he's made you go through. Once Porco came back though, he'd be a little nicer to you but that would last for roughly a week once you gotten sick of his company again.

He only sedated you when he needed your complete compliance or when he deemed you too much, your head rolling around weakly as he undresses and bathes you with him in the tub, the heightened sensation of calloused hands brushing against every inch of your skin. You may be out of it, but every other sensation was magnified. It was the only peace the two of you got with each other, even if you weren't a truly willing participant.

Porco was also quiet when it came to this activity, the steam and heat of the tub creating a slight flush on his tanned cheeks as he leaned back against the porcelain. His normally gelled-back blond hair would be damp and falling over his face, expression lax. You thought he was on the completely lankier side before since you rarely see him without the green coat, but no, he was quite muscular despite being pretty slender.

It made sense, he's lifted and thrown you like you weighed absolutely nothing, holding you down without much struggle, and letting you exhaust yourself while he looked completely normal.

He seemed disinterested in each other's nudity, though you did notice the first few times when he started the bathing routine that he took in every little detail of your body, eyes wandering more than usual. It's not like you could've stopped him and he never touched you sexually, only touching your privates to clean those areas. You've accidentally let out a quietly hitched breath here and there when he brushed those digits of his in-between your pussy, your drugged mind struggling to comprehend the feeling. You believed that he never noticed during those mishaps, not bothered in the slightest during it but whenever he got out of the tub first, it was pretty obvious he'd be partially aroused.

You wouldn't say that you were completely innocent in the act of staring at the other either, you've spotted his cock more than a few times and were slightly internally glad that he never took it for a spin against you. He must be a show-er more than a grower (if he was any lengthier hard, you might be in trouble), but he was notably bigger than the other disgusting men you've came across. Thank god for that, at least. It was finally nice looking at a man that wasn't built like a water buffalo in denial of balding and having the smallest dick around.

As time passed by, you feel like you confirmed your suspicions that he never really was interested in using you for any sexual needs, he was more into seeing how much it would take for you to break. Maybe he's done this to others to get his rocks off, but you'd never give into the sick man's perversions.

One thing that was prominent you've noticed while in his care was that he rarely made you do anything by yourself. He's the one that fed you with you on his lap, clothed you in stupidly feminine outfits from the start of the day to the night, bathed you alongside him. He cleaned and dressed any wounds you inflicted on yourself, but left surface scratches and bruises alone. Porco was in complete control and if you didn't let him take the reins, that's when the punishments rolled in.

Balancing books on your head as you stood on your tiptoes, if any of them fell or if you went back on your heels, he'd hit the back of your calves hard with a riding crop and restart the entire thing. Forcing your head over a bucket of freezing cold water, asking you difficult questions with no right answers to them, and pushing you down into it when you said anything that he didn't want to hear. He choked you out and left you intentionally starved for days when you refused to eat what he made, tied up and blindfolded in a tight closet with no indication of how long time had passed because you didn't want to wear what he chose, anything to ensure that you've learned your lesson.

You didn't, of course you never did. Whenever he asked if you had enough, you only just laughed at him and spat at his face, the punishments only ending once he got tired of it. Your stubborn attitude was the only thing keeping you sane in this world of yours.

No matter how much you were forced to endure endless embarrassment and shame, you'll never grovel or beg for mercy, not even shedding a tear for the agonizing pain you felt as you laid on the scratchy mattress every night. And besides, he wasn't the only one who tried and he most certainly would be the last once you figured out how to get out of here.

You felt a jab to your stomach, abruptly waking you from your short rest. The lights weren't even turned on, but even you knew that the next horrid day has just begun, a flashlight blinding you next.

"Morning sweetheart, you know what time it is? It's 3 in the morning, nice and early for our next session. Are you going to be good and let me put your outfit on?" The nicknames only started a few weeks ago, just because you were being obedient and compliant to his demands. It's to make you feel nice, to think that's what you should be doing to get on his good side.

Fuck, he's really insane.

Obviously since you were completely exhausted, you might as well let him take control again until you regained more strength. You nodded slowly, rubbing your eyes as he finally moved the light off of your eyes. He murmured something of a praise, stroking your head gently before going upstairs to retrieve the outfit. You sat there in silence, partially nodding off until you heard his footsteps near the door, body slightly stiffening.

You may not be outwardly afraid of him, but unconsciously, he made you become unintentionally afraid of the new fucked up punishments that he created. At a certain point in this life, it was undeniable not be terrified of something unexpected.

"A friend recommended this new place for women clothes since she noticed I've been in a good mood lately." Porco pushed the door open, a light pink babydoll dress in his hands. "Ain't it nice? Might be better than all the other ones I've put you in, the seamstress really has outdone herself, don't you think sweetie?"

Everything about it looked too short, ruffles and lace making most of the skirt and the sleeves overtly puffy. He may think he's putting you into something cute, but it was obviously something uncomfortable to wear. It's intentionally supposed to make you tick, you knew it was.

"It's..." You started, thinking about how to go around this without sounding offensive. "Pink."

He frowned, obviously expecting more from you but simply shook his head. Alright, that was a somewhat valid response.

"Still tired huh? Yes, most of your clothes are pink, but this one," He placed the dress next to you, along with the undergarments and shoes. "This one is for a special occasion."

Special occasion? A year must've already passed by since he purchased you, it wouldn't be all that surprising if he was celebrating that. You lifted your arms up and let him remove your nightgown, leaving you only in your underwear. Porco removed the dress from the hanger, turning towards you and pulling the dress over your head and arms, organizing it properly over your body.

Definitely too small now that you were wearing it, the bands around the arms making it feel like you were gonna lose circulation on them and your breasts nearly spilling out of the top of the dress, no matter how much he was adjusting it. The skirt was also way too revealing, just barely covering your panties but he soon tugged those off, putting on an even more scantily clad pair. He brushed out your hair, taking a few pieces and attaching a bow with it behind your head. The shoes were just simply white flats, the only part of the outfit that you had no problem with.

"There. Such a beautiful girl, wouldn't you agree?"

He cooed as he stood you up and dragged you to the bathroom, pulling off the drape that covered the mirror. You weren't allowed to use the mirror, that was what he said as one of the rules way back then. You didn't know why he asked that of you, but you've never seen yourself in years anyways, the details of your appearance foggy in each glimpse of a reflecting surface. The basement was dark too, the only sources of light being the flashlight or lanterns that Porco brings down here to see you. But this?

This was the first time you truly felt horrified at anything, bruises of varying colors littering around your skin, most prominently around your neck. You looked sickly, a pale complexion covering your skin, and bone-dead tired, eyebags weighing under your lower eyelids heavily. The only thing that looked decent on you was your brushed out hair and dress, despite how it squeezed at your almost feeble body.

"What... what did you do to me?" Your hands went over your face, feeling your very soul crumple into itself.

Porco snorted, his hand wrapping around your jaw and forcing you to look at the reflection. "Nothing. This is you, all you. The only thing I've done is the bruises but everything else is your fault."

You pushed him back, his body hitting the wooden door with a thud. Tears were starting to well up in your eyes since the first time in forever as you balled your fists at your side. You started wailing, curses slipping through your lips.

"Fuck you. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!"

"Y/N—" His tone was becoming angry, a warning.

Porco never said your name before.

You took off one of the flats and quickly threw it hard at the mirror, multiple fragments shattering off the wall. You grabbed the biggest piece that landed on the ground, feeling the palm of your hand cut open, warm blood spilling down your fingertips. Without a second thought, you lunged at your captor. Porco was stronger as he stopped you midway of your attack, but his hands slipped from the grip he had on your bloody hands and wrists, it was almost unnoticeable but not to you.

With the little strength you had left, you gave it your all, letting out a wrathful shriek as you jabbed the piece into his stomach, twisting it in as deeply as you could.

The world fell silent as you watched his blood seep through his shirt.

This was the first time you've looked into his eyes in the light and this close in general, the hazel color showing nothing but displeasure. You heaved slowly, taking in shaky breaths through your nose. Slowly, you released the shard and backed away from his still-standing body, the chain connected to you rattling along on the stony ground with your movements. Your eyes were still locked onto him, impatiently waiting for him to collapse so you can take the key out of his dying cold body.

Yet, that didn't happen.

"You're fucking pathetic, stupid even." Porco's hand reached for the mirror shard embedded in his gut, pulling it out with a slight hiss, as if it was nothing but a splinter. "If only, just only, you remembered that I can heal from any wound that your dumbass places on me, we wouldn't have this issue but I guess I gave your slow little brain one too many hits."

The steam was coming off of him again as he threw the bloody shard pack into the broken pile, your teeth baring at him.

"What the hell are you? Some kind of monster?" He laughed, pushing his hair back with blood, the red mixing in with the dark blond.

"Worse," Porco charged at you with inhumane speed, grabbing your throat and lifting you up in the air with one hand, your hands clawing at his forearm as black spots began to form in your vision. "I'm one of the worst monsters of them all. A Titan."

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

You awoke to find yourself in a forest.

Originally, you thought you died. It's been years since you've last seen the outside, even felt the wind's breeze go against your face and feel the rising sun's rays warm up your skin. Yet, as you opened your eyes, you reached out to the grass, feeling the smooth blades brush up against your fingers, you knew you were still alive.

Sitting up, you slowly took in the surrounding environment. Did Porco abandon you because he thought you were dead? A giddy feeling rose up from within, excited about the possibility of finally, finally having the freedom that you've desired for so long. You wobbly stood up, realizing that you were still in the outfit he made you wear, now stained with dried blood. Ugh, at least he should've had the decency to put you back in rags or something before dumping your 'corpse'.

How far were you from the nearest civilization? You'd be lucky if you managed to come across one before either dying of dehydration or starvation, hoping you'd run into an Eldian internment zone rather than a major Marleyan city. Maybe even dying here in the wilderness would be a better death than being around people again, considering that all of them would just disappoint you once more.

There was a sound of grass crunching, small branches breaking from behind you as footsteps drew closer.

"Awake aren't we?" Fuck. You turned around, seeing him standing back at a distance, still wearing his bloody clothes.

"I wish I wasn't now that I know you're here piggy. Goddamnit, why didn't you just fall over and die when I stabbed you?" You grumbled the last half, tugging at the bottom of the skirt dejectedly. From afar, you could imagine that his eyebrow was twitching in irritation once you mentioned the nickname.

"You're so annoying, you know that? It's been a year and no matter what I do to you, you still persist. Still convincing yourself that you can't be broken. You've really ran me dry to figure out what I can do to make that pretty little head internally pop, well, I got one more thing that'll make you finally listen to me." Porco fished out a small pocket knife out of his jacket, holding out his palm for you to see before he sliced the middle of it, blood immediately gushing out.

"I'll give you a 15 minute head start, timer starts when I transform. If you can hide or outrun me, I'll let you go free. No catches, you'll simply be free to walk among us again. But if I find and catch you," A cocky smile grew on his face, pointing the knife down at you. "You're going back to the fucking basement."

Wait. What does he mean by transform?

A flash of blinding lightning appeared abruptly right in front of you, gusts of wind nearly knocking you over. You covered your face to try and shield yourself from the sudden weather change onslaught, the sound of something crunching forming loud in your ears. The light finally faded away after a few minutes gone by, a huge shadow hovering over you instead. Hesitantly, you peered up out of your arms and gaped in horror as you stared at the monster in front of you.

Where Porco once stood, a bony skull-like faced Titan stood before you on all fours, a mane of familiar blonde hair wrapping around its head like a lion. It had a shorter and muscular stature than most Titans you've seen in books before your kidnapping, still towering over you but not as much as a normal Titan would. White-tipped claws on each of its digits were prominent on both its hands and feet, digging into the soft grassy ground beneath it.

What the fuck? What the fuck?! Your captor was the Jaw Titan user the entire time? Is that why he disappeared every now and then? Holy shit, you knew what the Jaw Titan user's dick looks like.

Its small hazel eyes glared down at you through the skull-like mask and you felt frozen to the spot, too afraid to make any move. Was he even still in control of himself in there? A guttural growl came out of it then, snapping you out of it.

Porco's waiting for you to move, he... he wants to chase you down. You have no other choice, and you'd rather put up another fight than to lay down belly-up.

You took off the other flat that still remained on your foot and threw it at the face of the creature, soon dashing as quickly as possible into the lush forest. In your head, you knew your outfit was going to be an immediate sore thumb in the surrounding greens and browns so you started to rip it apart as you ran, trying to scatter the pieces as much as you possibly could to throw off the trail. All you were left in was your thin underwear and even that was a risk to keep on, but it was all you had left to preserve the dignity you were barely holding onto.

As you ran, you felt every stray branch dig into your already-damaged skin and every breath you took in felt like needles in your nostrils. It was better than nothing, better than getting immediately caught by that thing. You don't know how much time has passed since you started running, all you knew was that you must've wasted precious seconds when you gawked at the atrocity of a Titan.

There was a whipping sound and then a thud, trees cracking and breaking behind you. The echo of birds flapping away from the source, cawing in alarm rang loudly in your ears and you felt immediate dread crawl up your spine. Your head start was up, he's coming.

You still ran as fast as you could despite the burning in your underused muscles, trying to find somewhere decent to hide in. An overgrowth, a bush, anything at this point. The sounds of whipping and cracking were getting closer and closer, panic bubbling in your stomach until you missed a step, falling over and knocking the wind out of yourself.

You cried out as quietly as possible once you got air back in your lungs, slowly sitting up with damp dirt clinging onto your bare skin. Taking a glance at the ledge you fell from, an idea popped in your mind. Underneath, it was wide enough to fit your body and deep enough for you to hide in, so long as you could cover yourself up with leaves and dirt. The sound of a gurgling snarl close by meant that you had little time to put your plan into action, and you grabbed the nearby shrubbery in handfuls, crawling into the space as fast as you could.

Laying on your back, your place the gathered materials on your body, completely covered from head to toe. You didn't know how it looked on the outside, but it had to be something that could be overlooked when he was searching around. It had to be because you were not going back, you refused to.

The close rumble of the ground almost had you scream out in terror, but you put your hands over your mouth as tightly as you could, your breaths shaky out of your nose. The thuds grew closer and closer, body jumping with each passing step, and then it stilled. You could slightly see what was going on outside, heart dropping when you immediately spotted him.

The Titan was just standing there, completely still besides his head moving around to scan the area. He must've figured out that your clothing trail had gone cold or that it was fake the entire time, but the one thing you knew was that he was quick to catch up either way. A hissing sound, almost sizzling, broke the silence. You watched as Porco's original body appear out of the creature's upper back, right near the neck.

What. The. Hell.

"You're here, aren't you?" His voice was calm, no hint of frustration or irritation. Porco had too much pride to proven wrong, he was confident that he tracked you in the right spot and you hate that he was correctly onto you.

"Your footsteps stopped not too far from here, y'know. You tryna hide now? Ran out of stamina? Twisted your ankle?"

You clenched your eyes tightly together, praying that he'll give up, that he won't find you. Never in your wretched life have prayed before, but you'd start worshipping the very god that'll manage to make sure that Porco won't look in this shallow cavern.

"Fine. If you don't want to reveal yourself—"

There was another sizzling sound, your eyes opening and seeing that he went back into the body, the creature beginning to move once more. The Titan then opened its bony maw, revealing a second pair of sharper teeth before an ear-bursting screech projected out of it, your hands shooting to your ears to try and cancel out the horrid sound. The scream kept wailing aloud like a never-ending storm alarm, your head beginning to ache. It felt like it was going to pop the longer it went on, tears forming at the corners of your eyes.

Stop it, stop it, stop it!

Silence.

There was a slight ringing in your ears, but the screaming was gone and when you looked out of your hidey-hole, he was no longer standing there. Did he actually give up? You stayed still in the divot, head throbbing and heart pounding against your ribcage. You'll even wait until the next morning if it meant for any kind of confirmation that he was gone.

Suddenly, a claw came down on the roof of your cavern, the sharp tips just barely missing your body. It ripped away the dirt and rock, the sunlight blinding you as you sputtered out the pieces that came down on your face from the removal. Complete fear radiated off your expression as its unnerving mask stared down at your trembling form. You... lost.

You think that its — his — eyes were gleaming with glee right now, seeing how pitiful you looked, filthy and damaged. His hand reached for you, body stiffening as the fingers curled around you, picking you out of the hole carefully. The body of the Titan slumped down and the same hissing sound came out of the back of it, Porco reappearing once more.

"Took me only 30 minutes to find you, what a pathetic attempt of a run," He insulted, leaning his body over the fuzzy head of the creature. "Though, I will have to give props to you with the hiding. I wouldn't have spotted you until you moved in the hole from the scream."

"P-please... make this th... thing stop touching me." You almost whispered, the coldness and rough texture of its grip tight around your body. You hated that you were directly forced to stare at it, its eyes blank but still glaring deep within your soul.

"You afraid of it? You scared of the big bad Titan?" Porco taunted, his arm slightly moving and the grip tightening around you even more. You let out a strangled cry, your breathing becoming erratic. The feeling of the jagged bones jutting into your flesh like squeezing a balloon to its limit, the imagery of your organs bursting out of you, began to make you hysterical.

"Please s-st... stop! P-please! I... I don't want to die! Porco, I'm begging you! Get me out!" You started sobbing, blobs of tears flowing down your cheeks. You hated him, but you hated this monster even more. To think that they were truly real, a true threat to your fragile existence, it was something that was horrifyingly difficult to mentally process.

Porco gawked at your sniveling body, not even trying to wiggle out of the Jaw Titan's hand but still crying out to him for his help. This is what he wanted right? To see you completely give up, to depend on his assistance, to save you. He felt so fuzzy and dizzy on the feeling, almost like he drank too much liquor. Just to play around with you a little more, his hand twitched, causing the Titan to squeeze you even more.

You screamed out in fear once the pressure got even more narrow, your cries resonating louder within the deep forest as you simultaneously begged him to stop. Aw, how adorable but alright, he's had his fun for the day. This might've gotten the message across, let's see how long it'll last or else he'll have to do this again and again if he had to.

"Will you finally listen to me?" He finally spoke up, your teary eyes immediately meeting his and nodding furiously without hesitation.

"Yes! Y-yes I will!"

"And what do I want to hear from you?" You sniffled, looking completely drained of all fight.

"I-I'm sorry... s... s-sir. I wo... won't ever do i-it again."

Porco thought he never felt such euphoria in his life until he heard your apology, a wickedly proud grin growing on his face. He pulled himself out of the Jaw Titan's back, watching the creature start to steam and deflate as he reached for you, peeling its fingers off of your body and helping you down. Unexpectedly, you latched onto Porco once you got on the ground, your arms wrapped around him tightly in a vice hug. You... never did that before.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" You repeated over and over again, your tears wetting his coat. "I won't fight you again, I-I promise sir."

His hand reached over to your head, light stroking the tangled strands as you trembled against his body. "That's what you get for being a bitchy brat, you don't want me to do it again right?"

You shook your head in response, gripping onto his clothes even tighter at the thought of being chased by that thing again.

"Then you gotta listen to me better, okay? You listen, no Titan. And now that I'm reminded of your bad manners, you've torn up that pretty dress of yours earlier. That wasn't cheap, you ungrateful bitch. How are you going to make it up to me?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." Worry began to fill up your still-teary expression as you pulled your face out of his shoulder. You were taking every insult with a grain of salt, dismissing them completely. "I-I'll do anything to make it up to you, sir."

Porco really wasn't any different from the devil nuisances down in the slums, an excited shiver going through his system. If you're really offering anything, then he might as well get what he deserved out of you, he's been waiting a year for it after all. He lifted your face with one hand, rubbing away a smudge of dirt off of your skin with his thumb.

"We'll discuss what you can do about it later. Now, let's go home and get ourselves cleaned up, you smell like mud and look like shit." Another apology slipped through your lips as he moved forward with your hand in his, the corners of his mouth curling upwards with pure joy.

The animal within you has become neutralized, the flame dying and being left behind with the fading Titan behind the two of you.

Porco finally got what he paid for.

[jeankirsteinsgrlfrnd]

the attack on titan characters and vaping

modern au

a/n: most of this is according to my fanfic :)

eren jaeger is sooo clutching a cool mint disposable vape. it’s always in his pocket. he’s the accusatory type when he loses it, always claiming someone has it but in reality he’s just sitting on it. swears he’s not addicted but runs to get another one when it dies.

armin arlert is too cool to vape or smoke cigarettes. he does use a dab pen because of the convenience and how it doesn’t leave a smell. he occasionally lectures eren on his use but knows it’s a useless battle.

mikasa ackerman goes through different phases. she’ll vape for a long time, and then quit, and then start again. her flavor of choice is anything cherry flavored. she knows it’s bad for her so she tries to stop but since eren does it, she always falls back into the habit.

connie springer wishes he could vape. he just can’t get into it. it’s too harsh for his throat and it leaves him a coughing mess. if anything, he’ll have a shitty box mod with very low levels of nicotine. he just likes to call himself a vape god when he does very mediocre tricks.

jean kirstein thinks vaping is incredibly stupid. he tried it once and was immediately put off by it. he smokes cigarettes like a ‘real man.’ i wouldn’t call him a smoker smoker, but maybe he smokes one or two a day. he plans to quit.

sasha braus neither vapes nor smokes habitually. she tried to hit eren’s vape once and it burned her throat so bad her eyes watered and she couldn’t stop coughing. however, when she gets really, really drunk, she’ll be found having a drunk cigarette.

marco bodt has never touched a vape or a cigarette. he sees how easily his friends became addicted and honestly, he doesn’t want that for himself. he hates when jean smokes.

reiner braun doesn’t vape. he doesn’t smoke, either. he’s a big gym bro and takes his health pretty seriously. his body is a temple and he treats it as such. he also makes a big deal when someone smokes near him.

bertholdt hoover hits the occasional vape if he’s with his friends but he’s never bought one for himself. he’s not addicted either so he only hits it if he’s offered. he enjoys the head buzz but knows starting a serious habit wouldn’t be good for him.

annie leonhardt smoked cigarettes first and then tried to get into vaping. she decided it wasn’t for her and switched back to cigarettes. she thinks if you’re going to vape, you might as well just smoke. it’s more romantic, she thinks. she’s tried to calm it down since dating armin, though.

hange zoe insists that she vapes but she never has one of her own. she also coughs up a storm when she hits anyone else’s.

levi ackerman wouldn’t be caught dead vaping. he thinks it’s stupid and it’s for kids who are too much of a coward to smoke a real cigarette. he doesn’t smoke cigarettes either but he’s tried them before in the past. he might have one if he’s really, really stressed but he tries not to indulge.

erwin smith doesn’t like smoking. he doesn’t like when it’s done around him, either. he’s kind of uptight about it and no one’s really sure why.

zeke jaeger vapes. he totally would be the type to have a necklace to attach to it so he’d never lose it. he spends an unreasonable amount of time in the vape shop looking at all the flavors. i feel like he’d also have a fancy vape, like something with a weird fancy mouth piece.

ymir’s been sneaking cigs for years. obviously,she’s old enough now and the habit of smoking has stuck. she has a pack on her all the time. she’ll vape here and there if it’s presented but she’s a classic girl and prefers her cigarettes.

historia reiss doesn’t vape. she says she doesn’t smoke either but she partakes in it from time to time. usually when she starts ranting on about something, ymir will hand her a cigarette and hit it without really realizing it. it makes ymir laugh everytime.

porco galliard is a vaper. he loves his lil vape. he ‘accidentally’ got addicted after pieck made him try it. he also swears he doesn’t have a problem but he does!!

pieck finger has a fruity little girl vape. it’s definitely pink lemonade flavored. i feel like she’s always got in her hand and she’s also always offering it to people. she’s like a god damn chimney when she drinks, always puffing it.

my jean fanfic

[cosmicjoke]

Man, ya know, my problem with Zeke is that, yeah, I get it, we’re supposed to feel sorry for him and understand that he had a crappy childhood and it twisted his mind (supposedly) into thinking life was meaningless and had no value, and into wanting to euthanize a whole race of people, har, har.  But see, my problem with him is, he thinks that somehow gave him the right to decide for everyone else whether their lives were worth living or not.  He thought he was super, duper special, because he had what he deluded himself into believing was a unique experience and understanding of the world, and that gave him permission to act as god and choose for everyone else what their lives meant, to decide their lives were as meaningless as he felt his was.  That’s true narcissism there. 

When you compare that to how Levi views life, and the value he places on other people’s right to live and be how they choose, it makes crystal clear just why Levi hates this motherfucker as much as he does.  Levi always understood that other people should have the right and freedom to live whatever way they wanted, to make that choice for themselves, without the constant fear of death bearing down on them from something totally outside their control.  Levi fought to give people the chance to live, and to give them the freedom to choose for themselves (something we see him emphasize again and again, by letting others develop their own thoughts and feelings, without trying to impose his own way of thinking or doing on them), while Zeke fought to bring people’s lives to an end, to take away their freedom of choice and force them to conform to his way of thinking and doing.  They’re literally diametrically opposed. 

[wolvesandfoxes25]

The beauty of forgiveness and how it tied up two storylines. Part 2.

Jeans indecisiveness and how it saved Reiner:

No matter what Hange says, Jean IS the reason why Reiner escaped. His intrusion gave Pieck and Zeke TIME to get to Reiner. His words didn't sway Hange, they even say that it wasn't Jeans fault. But if you want to be realistic about it..Jean was at fault. He bought Reiner time to be saved. ACCIDENTALLY, of course.

Part 4: Jeans hesitation

Jean could kill titans. Fine. Not until the arc comes around where they're killing MPs and Marleyan civilians, he has a REALLY hard time with it.

Even when Gabi shoots Sasha, Jean hesitates. After, when Floch asks what to do with them, he says, in tears, that throwing kids off the ship won't stop all this senseless killing.

I think this hesitation coincides really well with Reiner, who puts his hesitation into his split personality. His hesitation is as a Scout soldier. It's gone when he's a Marleyan Warrior.

Jeans hesitation was ALWAYS there, and it cost lives. To him. Which he can't stand. Which, to me, is where that self hatred stems from. He hates that he can't help but have self restraint.

"Those bones will never let me rest."

Marco was a GOOD person, who was constantly there for his friends and gave Jean confidence to be the leader he saw he could be. There aren't a lot of GOOD people in this anime, but Marco and Falco to me, are.

Part 5: Forgiving yourself & lifting up another. Name meanings..

Jean means God is Gracious.

Reiner means Warrior.

Look at how he saves Reiner, the lighting in the background. Jean is lit up, and Reiner is in the dark. It's almost like an angel saving someone from hell. The way Jeans positioning is great as well, one leg bent, reaching down and holding UP Reiner.

Yes, holding up. Keeping him from tumbling into hell. He would have been crushed by those titans, his armor would have done nothing. Another suicidal ideation because he HADN'T forgiven HIMSELF.

Jean had though. He had forgiven himself and Reiner. And that's why he could save him. When he couldn't save anyone else. And that's also what helped Reiner fight. Jean gave him a place to belong and Reiner helped Jean realize what those bones were saying to him. It's okay to hesitate, to not be fit to take human life easily. Jean was always strong without the persona, his empathy and empathetic nature for others, for REINER, made him strong.

Jean spent this entire fight concerned for Reiner. He couldn't help that. Couldn't help being worried for someone who had hurt him.

Not to mention.. these two were Isayamas favorite to write. It makes sense that their arcs ran into each other to help each other in the end.

What do you think?

[dadsbongos]

preacher's boy likes choir singer

2.5k words / warnings - sacrilege, bad attitude bastard zeke, demon possession??, cunnilingus (reader got puss)

summary - you and your church crush try earning God's forgiveness for temptation... only for Zeke Jaeger to have to suck demonic influence straight out of you.

kinktober: day twelve - blasphemy, church ~~~

“No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. Matthew 6:24.”

Zeke glances up through golden lashes, pushing his wiry glasses along his nose. In the other hand, he clutches a spankin’ new copy of Book of Common Prayer, Pew Edition over his knees. His right foot taps impatiently, expertly disguised as him simply bouncing his baby brother to keep the infant content. Carla is allowed a rare moment of rest on his right while his grandparents watch his father in the center of the floor. Grisha continues to wave his hands and grasp the podium and implore every devout there to pledge their souls, and keep them pledged.

Zeke is not focused on Grisha; Zeke is focused on what stands behind Grisha. Two silent rows of the church choir, in silky ivory robes -- similarly fresh and unweathered. Taller adults, the baritones and tenors, in the back with all two altos decorating the middle, and the sopranos -women and people Zeke’s age- lined up in the front. And right in the center of the bottom row, is you. Who is similarly aged as Zeke, only a couple months apart, and who seems to also doze off while his father speaks.

Managing a sneaky glance at the clock over his grandmother’s head, Zeke celebrates the fact his father’s sermon must be coming to a close. Which also means soon you’ll be free.

He swallows the wad of trepidation in his throat and slides Eren toward Carla with those big wet puppy dog eyes that always smuggle him out of trouble. Carla swipes up her baby while Zeke sits up straighter and smooths wrinkles in his pants. He straightens his glasses again. He looks up at you.

You’re looking back. You give the tiniest wave, just barely brushing above your hip and he waves back.

Carla catches the sight, but merely shakes her head fondly.

Grisha prompts the room to rise before bidding them well.

“May almighty God bless you, the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Have pure love for our Lord in your hearts, and remember He is always first and He is the only one that can satisfy. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”

Zeke slips away from his step-mother and grandparents to find you among your own family. Tugging your hanging sleeve with an uneven grin, “I liked your singing.”

“Thanks, you probably couldn’t even hear me though…”

“I could hear you,” he assures, “I always can.”

“That’s bad!” you raise a modest hand over your horrified mouth, “You shouldn’t hear me over the others!”

“No, I mean,” Zeke huffs, “I can hear you.”

“Huh?” now you’re giggling awkwardly, scratching the back of your neck, “What does that mean?”

“Nevermind,” he mutters.

“Sorry…”

“No, don’t- “ he scoffs, sliding a glance towards his father, “I want to hear you sing. You by yourself.”

“Oh,” you giggle, clapping your hands over your face with an embarrassed whine, “Sorry!”

“I can’t talk right anyway.”

Your hands lower into a shy clasp at your hips, an even shier twist working your lips, “I like how you talk. It’s confusing sometimes, but you sound smart.”

He has to smush a cheek against his shoulder -- earnestly attempting to hide a staining rouge, and there’s a new response tickling the back of his throat. Until:

“Zeke!”

Grisha’s voice snaps over you both. He glares disapprovingly at his son, then scowling at you. Zeke moves to block his father out, offering a small condolence in the form of timidly rubbing his neck and smiling, “I have a weird request.”

“Like what?” when you’re fresh off a scolding, your lips delve into the most perfect pout. And shame wets your eyes deliciously. 

Sounds sick, but you’re so pretty when you’re scared.

“Can you meet me back here? When your grandma falls asleep,” Zeke whispers the last bit, especially cautious even though your grandmother is ways away by her little old rustbox.

“What? Why?”

“I just need you to.”

Scary words. Doesn’t help coming from Zeke Jaeger, who's prone to long silences and sulking in isolated corners. But to you, Zeke Jaeger has a sweet face and kind eyes, cloudy and gray as they were.

So being agreeable comes easy to you, “Okay, Zeke.”

When it comes to Zeke, you find yourself too easily influenced. His father warns against false prophets but you’re sure his son is no ravening wolf. Not a voice that smooth, and not a soul so weepy.

“I’m sure if we just ask, then He’d let us,” Zeke reasons, a little preemptively cocksure. 

“Are you sure?”

“Definitely,” he takes your hands and they’re warm, “He’d stop us if we weren’t meant to be together, right? That’s part of omnipotence. He’d know and stop us somehow.”

Another thing, Zeke is so smart. Someone so clever can’t be dumb enough to purposefully be cruel, right? That would be begging eternal punishment and Zeke knows better.

“I’m pretty sure the whole point is to overcome temptation by ourselves…”

“What God would be so heartless as to forever cast devout believers to hell for one slip up?” Zeke moves up to squeeze your shoulders, “If He stops us this once, then I’ll drop it,” then he steps back, “Unless, I misread you, and you don’t like me?”

“I do!” you admit boldly, then covering your mouth, “I, well, I do! I’m just… Nana always said to wait, right? For marriage, you know?”

“I’ll marry you one day,” Zeke’s hands ball up at his sides, he shrugs, “But aren’t you curious? Other kids get to do this kind of thing all the time. I just want to be normal like them for once.”

“We are normal!”

“Sure,” he shakes his head, realizing quickly this argument is going nowhere, “We can just go home, then. I’ll walk you.”

“Well…” you gnaw a thumbnail nervously, “Hold on. I don’t know. Maybe. God wouldn’t mind, maybe, just once? If we do ask? It’d be okay, you think?”

“I do.”

“Then, okay, ask.”

“Me?” he chuckles quietly at the idea.

“You’re Pastor Grisha’s son…”

“Oh, yeah, okay. Let me,” Zeke straightens up and clears his throat, “Father in heaven,” the words feel clunky and unfamiliar on the back of his tongue, “We humbly ask that maybe, just this once, we could- we could give into temptation? We’re young, and everybody else does it,” last minute he decides to throw out, “And if nothing happens, I’ll assume we have your blessing!”

You’re sent back screaming when the window over your shoulder shatters apart. Glass shards litter the floor and your heart bangs against your uvula. Stomach lurching.

“That was a bird!” Zeke rationalizes.

With little reasoning, you crumble to the floor as if to sweep up the mess. Hide it away before Zeke’s father finds it the next morning.

“Huh?! How can you be sure…?” you mumble, hands hovering over glinting shreds.

He has to bite his lip before the because this isn’t real can escape, merely shrugging, “It just had to have been.”

“Then why do I suddenly feel sick?” you cradle a hand against your stomach.

“Sick?” Zeke scoots closer, gently brushing his hand over yours, “Sick how?”

“My whole chest is on fire, and my face is hot, and,” your spare hand now retracts between your thighs until your forearm is firm against your crotch, “I’m. uhm. I think I’m… throbbing?”

“Throbbing,” Zeke repeats, eyes locked on your subtly rocking hips, “Are you horny?”

“I don’t know…”

“Have you never…?” speechless, he makes a crude jerking motion.

“No!” you cry horrified, but when his eyes only widen you gasp, “You have?!”

“Everyone does.”

“Not me. I’m scared, Zeke, what does this mean? What am I feeling?”

“I can’t be sure, but I can feel… if you want?”

Immediately, you’re relieved at the offer: someone you trust with infinitely more experience towards bodily pleasure willing to assess for you, “Yes, yes! Please!” 

“Alright,” he clears his throat, gunmetal eyes flickering your way before toward the window then to Jesus bleeding over you. A stuttered mewl from the back of your throat distracts him. His heart pounding into his ribs as he watches you aimlessly bounce against your arm, “Let me see, then.”

Without much thought you comply, leaning back onto your elbows with knees collapsing to opposite sides of your torso. A darkened patch weeping around your hole, and heat straight spiraling up your spine until it's spewing along your cheeks. An involuntary mewl is choked between clenched teeth,

“Zeke!” you whine, twitching on the floor, “Zeke, I feel so…!”

He crawls forward on his hands and knees, eyes staining between your legs. Mouth hanging limp before he can spit out a marbly, “I’m gonna touch you,” his right hand smooths up your shin, over your knee, and down the plain of your thigh before his thumb sears along the seat of your panties.

Pausing at your clit to swirl before peeling the material aside.

Snowy fog mists up Zeke’s round glasses, he quickly swipes them off just to rub down and replace -cutting his gaze to yours as if you had any questions, “I wanna see you. All of it.”

Genesis 3:3  But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.

With nothing of a response, you nod meekly and push up into his hand. The movement forces his thumb against your bare, swollen nerves -- syrup clings between you. Webbing from his warm finger pad to your cunt. He swallows harshly.

Genesis 3:4  And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:

You pierce his thoughts with a whiny, “Put your mouth on it, Zeke…!”

As if he could miss what you were talking about, you hump his hand. Budding your slit against his knuckles.

His brain short circuits under your lidded stare.

Genesis 3:6  And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

Zeke’s tongue sizzles up you in a broad, fat stroke before abandoning the pleasantries. Muted moans die in your hip as he worms a lick inside you, then he slurps straight from the source -- now slipping a hand down to scissor you open. Lewd, loud sucking crescendos from between your thighs -Zeke drowns and begs for more.

Whether he’s really saving you or only sinking you deeper into corrupting with every dive of his fingers, he cannot be sure. Nor does he care too much to. If you’re struck out of heaven for this, then he’ll fall with you. 

Reinforced immediately as you snag his golden strands between frantic fingers, nails spiking his scalp interim to him flicking his tongue inside you. 

Zeke had a hypothetical relationship with God -- he’s simultaneously real and nonexistent; his father knows exactly what he’s saying and his father is a bumbling fool. You are an ultimate temptation and you are just a sweet member of the choir. One person cut from many.

He pulls back to suck a sharp breath before delving to suck on your clit. Peeking up at you through crooked frames. Eyes clouded and unattainable through your own.

Harder he sucks, the more bearable your churning, heated gut becomes. So you encourage, pushing his head deeper into your pulsing cunt. Grinding down onto his nose with abandon. Eagerly pushing back into you, Zeke hums around you -quiet prayers to lure out more of your wetness. 

Prayers answered: waves of gush splatter onto his clear glasses and muddy your visage. Zeke bathes his tongue with your taste. Sharp, maybe a little sour, but so so fucking warm and so soft. He imagines this is what angels drink: he knows he’s totally unworthy.

So he thanks you with a dedicated curl of his fingers. 

You return gratitude tenfold, wringing blonde hairs dangerously. Back snapping in an overwhelmed arch, jaw hinged with raucous wails. Garbled versions of his name, and he loves the song- your voice is marvelous.

What was it his father said this morning?

You cannot serve two masters?

Zeke blinks up at you, still murky and wavering with the goop now drying against his lenses (which he does not plan to wipe away soon), and suckles again just to hear you scream.

He knows which master he believes in: the one he can see, the one cumming on his face like a divine wine. 

You cannot believe pleasure feels so good, and so right.

You cannot comprehend why a God claiming to love you bars you of this feeling.

You would not hold it against Zeke if he’s damned you both, instead clawing for more and gasping into the dark, empty church, “Yes, yes, yes, ah! S’good, so good!”

Zeke pushes down onto the hardwood floor, grinding uncomfortably as you squeal mindless, “thank you, Zeke!”s and clamp your thighs around his ears.

If he weren’t occupied swallowing your spewing slick, then maybe he could thank you in return. For what, he can’t be sure -- this is not salvation, surely. Though, perhaps it’s much better.

As soon as the flaming knot in your stomach has unraveled, you notice a cool almost clamminess washing over you. Clear and sensible, you softly push Zeke away by the forehead. 

“Too much?” he murmurs, panting for breath. You nod slowly. He licks his lips shamelessly, “Sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry!” you slip over across the floor until you’re nestled into his side, laying your dizzy head against his shoulder, “It was- uhm… it was nice.”

“Only nice?” he dramatizes a pout, working off his glasses before holding them up into the pouring moonlight to map out where your slick stains.

An unflattering snort leaves you, you burrow into his arm and try to shake off the sudden embarrassment, “Very much better than ‘nice’.”

Zeke nods, a small grin coming over his face as he attempts to wipe his glasses clean. Then dropping his head against yours, overly familiar and not unlike a proper lover, “I’m glad. I’d only seen that in magazines before, so I wasn’t sure I was doing it right.”

“I didn’t even know you could put a mouth there,” you shrug.

“Hm. I have to show you more things, then.”

“You’re the pastor’s son, yet you’re worse than any boy I know…”

“Are you complaining?” he’s being sardonic, though some tiny anxious part in the middle of his chest has him watching you through his peripherals.

“No,” you shake your head into his arm, “Not at all, really…”

[tang3r1n]

here’s my list of anime dudes and chicks who’d fuck with eating ass and why;

(tw, i allude to dark subjects at some points, please be cautious and keep yourself and your mind safe <3)

animes; one piece, jjk, mha, aot

sanji— he’d be weird abt it, too loud, too wet, too gross abt it, idk man he’d be NEEEAAASSSTY.

zoro— not weird but he’d be like…so in love with your ass. like you gotta beg him to touch your clit cause he’s so focused on ur booty

law— hrrngh. hnnngfh- mmmmph.. love him. anyways, another one obsessed with ass but he’d be that sleaze who licks from your clit to asshole. like he edges you by just licking long stripes from one hole to the other reeeaalll slow. fingerbangs you like a MOTHER FUCKER while eating ur ass tho, like the kinda fast that looks like it hurts but feels fucking fantastic

luffy— obviously. no duh. no shit. he’s feral with it, but like law he switches between pussy and ass.. okay wait nvm he leans towards ur ass more imo, more stuff to actually ingest ig

doffy— he doesn’t wanna admit that he’s so fucking into ass, like the sight of a lil booty hole and he’s rock fucking hard, so he makes it a humiliation thing. like he’s making you feel pathetic and horrible for cumming from your ass like his dick isn’t sore as fuck and he’s cumming dry.

i really wanna say shanks. i really wanna fucking say shanks…. i’m saying shanks. he’d be lazy abt it tho, mainly eats you out to get your ready for his dick ngl, more of an ass fucker than an ass eater.

KIDD. KIDD. ON GOD. he’d be like doffy except he’s open abt LOVING ass AND humiliating you. he’s so fucking mean and on his knees slurping and sucking and fucking. deco loves biting your ass so hard you bleed. he’d fuck dry. yes he would.

hrrngk- nami<3– yall i have a PHAT crush on nami.. obsessed with her being obsessed over her bestie. anyways. FUCK. GOD. she’ll never fucking tell you abt it, never ever, but you can always feel her thumbs twitching near your lil pucker when she goes down on you, BIIIGGG into spanking tho. bitch leaves marks through jeans.

gojo— it’s gojo satoru, of course he’s into ass. he is THE man. THE MAN. he’s gonna eat ass, he’s gonna eat pussy, he’s gonna cum in ur mouth and make out, he’s gonna cum in your holes and eat it out. nasty mf with nasty desires.

g-..hm..yeah geto— he’d also be a humiliator. he doesn’t REALLY like ass all that much, doesn’t mind it, BUT.. it upsets you, makes you all teary and squirmy and he DOES like that. spanks so hard you welt <3

sukuna— fuck off you know why. i-i don’t have to say anything, ITS SUKUNA

mommy— I MEAN SHOKO— big bad mommy dom who makes you eat her ass then shoved all kinds of shit in your holes <3 loves doctor play and ‘taking your temp’ the old fashioned way <3 (god spit on me…)

aizawa— UUUUGGGHHHH :( i feel like he’s one of those men who loves fucking ass more than pussy, yknow? he’ll shove a vibe up there, turn it on full blast, and make you sit on his face while he eats you out and fingers ur pussy <3 a true gentleman who cums hands free when you squirt on his face and squeal then draws you a bath <33

fat gum— too easy. too fucking easy, gang he’s another everything man, loves it all.

ende-hm. en. hm. lemme sit on it for a second.

HOLY SHIT DABI— oh such an ass fucker, such an ass eater. he likes it for the taboo, naughty, gross aspect of it. the more you hate it the more he adores it. OH LORD he’d burn lil hearts on your ass so you couldn’t sit, make you lay face down and naked so he can eat your ass out while you’re ‘healing’ (he’s gonna do it again when they’ve scarred over.)

MIDNIGHT.— shes an either-or. she’ll let you choose which she eats out but both holes WILL be stuffed.

miruko— ofc dude. like. ofc. she’s got this carrot dildo you see, BABE JUST HEAR HER OUT PLEASE JUST LISTE—

eren mf yeager, BOTH yeager brothers— zeke is just an ass man, nothing really weird, just loves bootyhole. EREN NOW. eren’s like sanji. like literally so fucking loud and so fucking annoying and so fucking GROSS. there spit and lube everywhere, he’s drenched, whined and cries when you don’t let him fuck ur ass

jean(?)— also cried when you don’t let him go through the backdoor:( he’s such a crybaby, fucking your pussy so hard you can’t breathe while his thumbs are both hooked in your ass, i bet that’d feel weird as fuck cause he uses them to pull you back in.

hange— another obvious gross one. they’d be..so hot with it. god. i love team ‘girlcock hange’ btdubs. they’re the kind to finger you while DEMOLISHING your ass, spitting on ur pussy and rubbing your clit to tight and fast you’re dizzy all while they try and dig their dick deep enough to punch your gut.

GOD I WANNA SAY FUCKING REINER BUT I DONT THINK HES REALLY INTO IT :(

yknow who is??

endeavor, i decided he’d be an ass fucker. ooohh yeeeaaahhh… he’s not weird abt it, but the SSSSECOND you say you wanna get your ass ate he’s tossing you on the bed and ripping off your pants. a snogger, shoves his face ALL up in there <3 another one who SPANKS AND SLAPS AND SPITS AND BITES. he’d be like hange, fucking the shit out of your ass with his.. yknow those like, big logs of ground beef you can buy at stores? enji, anyways, and he’s finger blasting ur cunt with two fingers cause they’re big enough that if he fisted you he’d prolly fucking kill you.

k done. can you tell i’ve discovered a new kink guys?????

I HIT THE TAG LIMIT LMFAO

[real-total-drama-takes]

"people who hate trent for being obsessive and pushy rub me the wrong way it feels so ableist" "i literally love cody so much hes my babygirl anyone who doesnt like him dni because you simply dont understand the appeal of my white baby" "zeke is my skrimblo he did nothing wrong ever people who hate him are classist and make me so uncomfortable what did he even do to you"

"ohhh my god i fucking HHATTEEE SIERRA OH MY GODDD SHE SHOULD DIE FOR BEING SO CREEPY AND OBSESSIVE TO CODYY. if you like sierra you should DIE" "FUCK THAT CRAZY BITCH COURTNEY🤬🤬🤬🤬FUKKCKKKK SHES AN ABUSIVE ASSHOLE BITCHHH🤬🤬 if you like courtney you LITERALLY condone abuse and if you deny it youre probably AN ABUSER IRL." "I FUCKING HATE LESHAWNAAAA 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬SHE LITERALLY CHEATED ON HAROLDD. if you disagree DIE. she played him the entire time and SHE SHOULD DIEEEE. HAROLD OBVIOUSLY IS AUTISTIC AND SHE DIDNT SPECIFY THE NATURE OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP WHICH MEANS SHE FUCKING CHEATED ON HIM I WANT HER DEADDDD"

the total drama fandom experience

[allykakamatsu]

Playing XC2 if you played Torna first is a very different experience

Aka, a rough list of all my reactions to things that I shouldn't of reacted to on a first run cause I played Torna first-

(Note, I played both games for the first time years ago, this is just a recreation of my reactions.)

(Chapter 1) Aww Azurda has new adopted human and this one calls him Gramps that's adorable!

meeting new Torna for the first time Aww it's a cute Gormotti girl-! Why is Malos here-?! JIN WHY ARE YOU WITH MALOS WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!

Okay so Malos has a blade now, checks out given that his core is probably wrecked after what Mythra did to him but I guess Aegis's can be Drivers now.

JIN WHY DID YOU STAB A CHILD WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!?!?!

Oh, so Pyra is Mythra's new self. She seems sweet but I want my sassy girl back.

(Chapter 2) Yay Gormott! Glad to see it's not burned to the ground anymore.

If I had a nickel for every time Brighid attacked us thinking we were criminals I'd have 2 nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's funny it happened twice.

Why isn't Pyra's fire affected by the water- oh is it cause of Mythra?

Oh, so Mórag is Brighid's new driver. Should've figured that out sooner but they're a cool looking pair. Wonder where Aegeon is though.

(Chapter 3) Hey Cole's scar kinda reminds me of Minoth, wonder what happened to him.

In between my tears over what just happened MYTHRA'S BACK FUCK YEAH!!!

(Chapter 4) Addam why the hell are you wearing a cloak you weren't wearing it in that scene.

MYTHRA I GET THAT YOU'RE UPSET AND PROBABLY STILL DEPRESSED OVER MILTON I AM TOO BUT I'M SORRY!!!

Wait.... COLE WAS MINOTH?!?! Jeez man what happened? I know you said you were a failed Flesh Eater but I didn't realise that meant this...

Also Minoth man, I love you but I think old age has made you senile why the hell are you sending us to Amalthus?

get's control of Mythra YES!! And omg her specials are her old arts that's adorable!!

Oh so this is the 'Evil Tifa' I've heard people joke about- wait.... MIKHAIL?!?! MY SON?! Okay this means you survived whatever the hell Amalthus did that's good, but it's been 500 years how are you still alive regardless? Also he's evil now which is bad but at least he's with his dad Jin.

WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME FIGHT MY SON GAME?!?!?!

Okay upside, Brighid's back at least and yup she's still awesome. And her specials are her old arts too that's still adorable.

Haze my babygirl you're back-! Wait, Fan la Norne? I'm with Mythra on this one when did that happen? And why is half of your core gone?

(More under cut)

(Chapter 5) Okay yeah I'm doubly with Mythra something happened to Haze and I am concerned.

Okay I can see why Addam picked this place for the Tornan refugees this place is beautiful.

Wait, Zeke's the Prince of where? I have not heard of Tantal before, is it new or am I forgetting something? (it was in-fact, relatively new)

in the same tone of 'Dinkleberg' Amalthus..... I can't prove it yet but you're the one behind Haze's missing core aren't you?

YES!! REX!! AMALTHUS WAS MALOS'S DRIVER DON'T TRUST HIM!!

Jin, I again ask what the hell happened to you?

Empty Moment- OH GOD THAT'S HIS LEVEL 4 I DID NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT THAT FELT LIKE AAGGHH!!

Jin what are you doing- HAZE NO!!! JIN I KNOW HAZE HATED AMALTHUS AND HE PROBABLY DID SOMETHING TO HER BUT WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!?!

after I'm finished crying Oh, hey Aegeon, was wondering when you'd show up. And that's the Emperor of Mor Ardain? Aww, he looks like an even more baby Hugo-! Wait... Hugo.... oh no.

(Chapter 6) Niall what are you doing no no no-! NOT AGAIN!!!

Okay, Nia, thank you for stopping history from repeating itself.

The Tantalese are descendent from Addam, that can't be right Addam went to Leftheria-! Zettar started this, didn't he?

No tier lists I don't care if Aegeon sucks I'm gonna use him anyway because I am biased.

'Cadet Branch of the Royal Family' Yup, Zeke is descendant from Zettar, RIP my man having to be in the same bloodline as him.

GAME WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME FIGHT MY SON AGAIN-!! WHY DOES MIKHAIL HAVE A CORE CRYSTAL?!?!

Pyra Mythra no no no you two aren't just made to destroy don't go with them no no NO!!!

(Chapter 7) Ah, so this is where Addam hid the third sword. 5 minutes of gameplay later I can see why he hid it down here, this place would drive anyone mad.

Is this what it feels like to be on the receiving end of Addam's talent art? Cause all these reinforcements have to be equivalent to being perma toppled and launched with how long this takes.

Addam drop the hood already.

Malos you fucking bastard when I get my hands on you....!! Jin you can stay but you're on think fucking ice pardon the pun.

YES!! REX GIVE THOSE GIRLS THERAPY THEY NEED IT!!!

(Chapter 8) You know, I'm pretty sure most people picked Pyra here calls Pneuma Mythra but I am not most people

YAY!! I can play as Jin again! And he is somehow even more overpowered than before!

Jin why are you lying to Brighid, she's more mature but she's otherwise the same.

Jin... ate.... oh... I should've.... figured but.... oh god.... I just thought loosing Lora messed him up but having to eat.... yeah between that and Amalthus no wonder he's like this.

Torna......

Aww, nice Jin's still in there, he let us go and told Brighid the truth.

(Rest of the game cause I love it but I forget the chapter markers) So.... um.... Jin I'm glad you were able to find love again after Lora but why did it have to be Malos? Like this is weirdly sweet but this is a weird progression.

AMALTHUS I KNEW YOU WERE THE ONE WHO MESSED WITH HAZE MALOS YOU ARE OFFICIALLY PRIORITY 2 THIS BASTARD DIES FIRST!!

Okay that's how Mikhail survived this long so I guess Amalthus was good for one thing.

No no no no no no no- MIKHAIL!!!!! Why.....?!?- Oh god they're showing the scene where he met Lora and Jin again GAME WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!?!

Okay I wanted to help Jin and stop Amalthus anyway but now I'm doing it for my baby boy.

Don't worry Jin I've got your back. THIS IS FOR LORA HAZE MIKHAIL AND EVERYONE ELSE YOU BASTARD!!!!!!

...... J... Jin...... chapter 9 is living up to it's name because I was a rainstorm of tears after this

Malos for Jin's sake I don't want to kill you anymore can you please stop- damn it!!

Never thought I'd be sad to see Malos go but, here we are.

Pyra, Mythra, what are you- no no no no NO!! POPPI I KNOW YOU'RE KEEPING YOUR PROMISE AND WE HAVE TO LEAVE BUT LET ME GO I HAVE TO SAVE THEM!!!!

bawling crying until the two come back and the tears become happy tears Heh... thank god....

[abbott976]

Take Her Name Out Of Your Mouth

Zeke sighed as he towelled off and began to dress. Wrestling practice had been brutal today. Coach was prepping them for their upcoming tournament on Kingshead Island and had been pushing them hard all week. But today was finally Friday which meant a much needed break and some time with his girl.

As Zeke began putting his dirty practice clothes into his duffel bag, his phone buzzed on his locker shelf with a text from Tina.

"Hey baby, are you still coming by the restaurant tonight after practice? I figured we could hang out after closing since it's Friday :)"

Zeke smiled as he punched out a quick reply, letting her know practice had just ended and he'd be heading over soon.

Just as he hit send, he felt one of his teammates approach him. Unfortunately it was Bradley, who was the biggest asshole Zeke had ever met. He was a bully at best and a borderline predator in how he treated the girls at school.

Zeke couldn't stand how misogynistic he was, with Bradley always talking about his latest conquest in the locker room. Zeke had told him on more than one occasion he needed to mind his manners and respect the girls he was with, but Bradley always shook him off.

Today, Bradley had decided to push Zeke's buttons once again.

"Ooh got your little girlfriend waiting for ya Zeke? Bet she'd love to see you after practice, huh?"

Zeke tried to ignore him. He knew he could easily take Bradley in a fight and didn't need to stir up trouble. But if he couldn't keep Tina's name out of his mouth, Zeke would make sure he'd regret it.

"You know Zeke, I kind of get what you see in her. I mean the quiet shy type are always the kinkiest in my experience. I bet she's a real freak in the sheets for you."

Without a seconds hesitation, Zeke turned and decked Bradley in the jaw. All Zeke saw was red as he threw Bradley against the lockers.

"You'd be wise to take my girls name outta yer fuckin mouth Bradley."

"Oh yeah? Or what?"

And with that, Zeke let loose.

-----------

"Hey Zeke, how was pract-- OH my God what happened to your face??" Linda all but screamed at him when he entered the restaurant.

"Hey Mrs. B. Don't worry I'm alright. Just busted my lip at practice. You know how Coach has been, what with the tournament coming up... He's been having us practice some new moves and one of the guys had me in a hold wrong, and I busted my lip on the way to the mat."

Linda studied him for a moment, and Zeke thought for sure she knew he was lying through his teeth. Zeke hated lying period, especially to the Belchers, but he hatrd the idea of Tina knowing what that jerk had said about her.

Just when he thought Linda was about to call him on his lie, she gave him a small half smile.

"Okay honey... how about you go into the kitchen with Bobby. Have him get you some ice for that lip, okay? I'll let Tina know you're here. She's upstairs helping Louise get ready for a date."

"Thanks Mrs. B"

Zeke knew that while Linda may have decided to believe his flimsy excuse, Bob would see right through him in a second. The moment Zeke entered the kitchen, Bob looked him up and down from the grill.

"So. I take it you got into a fight at practice huh?"

"....yeah."

"I got some ice on the counter for you. I set it out by the first aid kit. Looks like your knuckles could use some bandaging up."

"Thanks, Mr. B."

Zeke quietly washed his hands and began the process of bandaging his bloodied and bruised knuckles. Thankfully they weren't in too bad of shape. When he finished he put the first aid kit away and began to ice his lip, leaning against the prep station and waiting for the questions he knew Bob had for him.

"Do I even want to know what the fight was about, Zeke?"

"Probably not, considering it was about your daughter."

"You got into a fight over Tina at practice?? With who?"

Zeke sighed. "Remember that asshole I was tellin ya about last week? That Bradley kid who can't keep his damn mouth shut or respect any of the girls he runs around on?"

Bob stilled at this. "Yeah."

"Well let's just say he needed a lesson in keeping Tina's name out of his mouth. AndI made sure he learned it quick."

With that, Zeke turned, dropping his ice pack on the counter, and began to prep some tomatoes for tomorrow's special. Bob stood silent beside him for a long time as he grilled and plated burgers through the late dinner rush.

When Tina came downstairs a while later looking for Zeke, he turned to Bob, and quietly asked

"Mr. B...Think we can keep what I told you between us? I don't like lying to Tina but I don't want her to know what that ass said about her. I don't want to upset her over what he said about her."

Bob simply patted him on the shoulder, giving his silent nod of agreement. As Zeke began to walk out of the kitchen to greet his girlfriend, Bob called after him.

"Hey Zeke?"

"Yeah Mr. B?"

"Thanks for looking out for her."

[xotrashratxo]

Nerdy Prudes Must Die Quotebook

Comment any I missed LMAO

⚠️NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT⚠️

“I am only ONE MAN’s girl, and that man is JESUS CHRIST.” Grace Chastity

“SHUT UUUUUUPPPP.” Max Jagerman *Audience cackles* 

“THE ANSWER IS STILL NO….. by the way.” Max Jagerman

“RAAH” Max Jagerman and Grace Chastity

“the fucking BOW TIE KID???” Brenda the Cheerleader

“I know he’s RICH. But money isn’t everything! Looks are. “ Stacy the Cheerleader

“WAIFU MATERIAL” Richie Lipchitz

“SHE’S TOUCHING MEEE!! LUCKYYYY!” Ruth Fleming and Richie Lipchitz

“Woooow…. These toilets aren’t even in stalls! It’s better than I ever imagined!” Ruth Fleming

“Thats some cooool kid privilege right there.” Ruth Fleming OR Richie Lipchitz

“DESTROY HIM.” Grace Chastity

“God you suck, Grace.” Stephanie Lauter

“He’s made ALL OUR LIVES a living HECK.” Grace Chastity

“The most terrifying, HOTTEST bully in Hatchetfield” Grace Chastity

“BE COOL BEANS, KEEP THE BEANS COOL.” Grace Chastity

“We’ll fight sin with sin! Let the games begin!” ‘Nerdy Prudes’

“AM I READING AS GHOST OR LIN MANUEL MIRANDA” Peter Spankofvski

“YOU’RE FUCKING USLESS PETE.” (SO MANY PAUL REFERENCES.) Richie Lipchitz

“Ugh I gotta piss….” Max Jagerman

“Oh SHIT, where’s that creepy music coming from?” Max Jagerman

“Oh shit oh fuck it’s a fucking ghost!!!” Max Jagerman

“He thinks it’s real he’s just really fucking BRAVE.” Richie Lipchitz

“BOO HOO BITCH.” Max Jagerman

“I MAKE THE DEAD RUN IN FEAR! I AM GOD GOOOOO NIGHTHAWKS!” Max Jagerman

“Oh shit oh fuck I didn’t think there’d be a skele’in HERE!” Max Jagerman

“WOW… I uh… I thought you guys hated me. But uh, thanks! This was really great! No no no, this is the nicest thing anyone’s done for me!” Max Jagerman

“That was really special.” *bows* Max Jagerman

“And with MY luck, no one will even BOTHER making me their BITCH.” Ruth Fleming

“It was an act of god!” Grace Chastity

“Oh no she’s snapping again!” Richie Lipchitz

“Oh my asthmas back…” Richie Lipchitz

“I just cut off his nips.” Ruth Fleming FORESHADOWING??? 

“Steph, you can keep it. It would bring down my GPA.” Peter Spankofvski

“I’m tryna feel bad but it’s hard when everything is objectively better.” Peter Spankofvski

“Never thought I could open my locker without the fear running through me.” Richie Lipchitz

“N-IG-HT-AWE AWE- ks!” Everyone

“FUCK clivesdale.” Everyone, repeatedly. 

“FUCK YOU CLIVESDALE WE’LL KILL YOU!” Cheerleaders and Jocks

“Zeke! The fighting nighthawk!” Jason the Football player

“We support and love you, but you fuckin’ stink man!” Jason the Football player

“FUCK CLIVESDALE! FUCK EM STRAIGHT TO HELL!” Richie Lipchitz

“I love being alive!” Richie Lipchitz

“YA BITCH.” Max Jagerman

“Of course not! But you’ve lost everything.” Max Jagerman HIT SO HARD 

“Mama I’m cured!” Grace Chastity

“HWAELL they didn’t say!” Mark Chastity

“Alright ima need the 3 of you to shut the FUDGE up about Max Jagerman.” Grace Chastity

“SHUT. THE FUCK UP. RUTHY.” Stephanie Lauter

“People tell me to die everyday!” Ruth Fleming

“Don’t be ridiculous! Wait-“ Grace Chastity

“DAN!” Angry Adult Mob

“Suddenly the show is real upsetting!” Angry Adult Mob

“Fuckin’ transcendent…..!” Cop Corey

“I wanna remember who I YAAAMmmm…” Trevor, who’s only other credit is Barbecue Monologues Man 2 

“I turned 40 today.” *pours alcohol* Ruth Fleming in Barbecue Monologues

“Oh shit not Clivesdale!” Officer Shapiro

*heavy breathing* “…… thank you.” Peter Spankofvski

“MY DAD sells WOMEN’S SHOES.” Peter Spankofvski

“Dork at the beany’s counter has more balls than you.” Stephanie Lauter

“LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS” Grace Chastity

“She’s bisexual and dead, where else could she be?” Grace Chastity, also GRACE DONT CALL ME OUT

“I’ve done horrible things! Like touching myself and lying to the police! I called god a son of a b word! Who am iiiiii…..” Grace Chastity

“Don’t comfort her, she’s fucking weird.” Stephanie Lauter

“KYUK KYUK KAH FUCK.” Max Jagerman

“I beg to differ, BITCH.” Max Jagerman

“I’ve got a gun.” Stephanie Lauter

“Are you a woman of god?” “Catholic.” “I’ll take that as a no.” Grace Chastity and Officer Shapiro (as a Catholic this is hilarious.) 

“I have no idea what I’m doing.” Peter Spankofvski (Me too Peter, me too.)

“My phone!” Stephanie Lauter

“WE DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR PHONE.” The Lords in Black

“Or fuck off!” The Lords in Black

“It’s you Steph. I’m into you.” Peter Spankofvski (IM CRYINGGGG)

“I just took a bullet for you bro!” Max Jagerman

“SO YOU DO KNOW THE BIBLE?” Grace Chastity

“But Jesus never threw a football like you Max.” Grace Chastity

“SHUT YOUR MOUTH HOLE SPANKOVSKI. I wanna hear this.” Max Jagerman

“FUCK. YEAH.” Max Jagerman

“GASP. That’s NASTY. I like it.” Max Jagerman

“WHAT. THE FUCK. IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.” Stephanie Lauter (That’s so me, Steph.)

“GRACE IS HAVING SEX WITH A FUCKING GHOST!” Peter Spankofvski

“I paid the price. Now fuck off!” *Spins* Grace Chastity

“WHAT ARE YOUUU-“ Max Jagerman

“You’re in my world now. Bitch.” One of the Lords in Black (Pokey I think???) 

“I…. Am gonna get some fucking coffee.” Officer Shapiro

“Did you guys know JASON goes to my CHURCH?” Grace Chastity

Total quotes: 85