#god he looks like a sopping wet cat

[c1trvswurld]

Maybe it's bc its late asf and nighttime but i couldn't help but laugh so hard at this photo of pickles. He looks like those weird ass sexual anime girl ads your forced to see on some illegal video website...or picrew. HA

[bugmangaka]

Journal doodles from a while back! I love these goobers so much :>

featuring some doodles about some of my very favorite episodes (Super Best Friends, You're Getting Old, and Ass Burgers) as well as Tweek hanging out with Craig to cheer him up when he's home sick.

(click for better quality!)

[benanazauce]

PUT A REMINDER IN MY NOTES YESTERDAY AND I STILL READ IT LATE AUGHWUSBIWVJWH IM SO SORRY

BUT OH MY GOSH????? TEARING UP THE WALLS I LOVED THIS SO SO SO SO MUCHH OAHAIBWJB ����💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞 EVERYONE LOOK NEEOOOWWWWW

CHAPTER! 10! IN! ITS! ENTIRETY!!! I thought I’d never get this done. It’s been. Over two months. Thank you for your patience. The good news is that I actually tried working on this so many times since February that I have a lot of material for chapter 11 already ready. The bad news is that… that chapter is exhausting just to think about. BUT FOR NOW, THERE’S THIS!

If you’re reading this shortly after posting, then you probably read the first two parts of this in that other post, and will have to scroll down to the second ⁂ to get past it. Sorry about that, but it was the only way to have a reasonable place for author’s notes.

Speaking of! This one is uhhh different in tone from chapter 9. I heavily debated breaking it into two parts, but I decided that part of my problem is that I don’t let more than one thing happen at a time, and that’s what has made this whole story so long. So, even though I was worried it felt like too much at once, the second half of this (or maybe the last third? Idk) has multiple things (like 2) going on at once and it was kind of stressful to write but I’m trying something different!!

Also. Asteri. She’s a mess. I have bestowed my Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria upon her. Also the ‘tism. Probably. And several other things. She’s my little doll. I love her. But I certainly don’t think she’s always right or justified. There’s a lot of her just being miserable here, and I know it’s kind of exhausting to read but I have just spent so much time working through that same scene (the one that immediately follows where the last post left off) and I. I can’t do any more editing on it I had to just get this done. I also think it’s important to see this part of Asteri, though I certainly think I could have written it better. One day when I rewrite this whole thing, I’ll make it nicer.

Thank you for reading anyway!!!!

[Prev]

——————

After he left that morning, Gaster had sent her a picture of the Aster alphabet, and she had spent a long time staring at it with a strange sort of wonder. This is how the way he sounds looks.

At least, sort of. Asteri still wasn’t entirely clear on whether the sound of a skeleton’s voice and their font were two separate things. Complimenting Gaster’s voice had all but brought him to tears, and he had confessed that he had been told he sounded like “static” and “garbage noise.” She assumed he had meant in general, not just when speaking Aster, but upon further thought she wasn’t sure. When she had repeated that he had a nice voice, later, he had told her that she might not feel that way if she heard him speak his own font. Did he mean that his voice was entirely different, or that he believed it sounded even “worse” when speaking Wingdings?

There was no way to find out without asking him, but he had been busy. It would have to wait. At any rate, after their discussion about her intentionally altering her text magic over breakfast last week, she had taken to trying to mimic him. Mostly in front of her mirror, and with a voice recorder. She couldn’t get his voice right; it was even more difficult than she had anticipated. Whether that was because she hadn’t heard his voice enough to truly familiarize herself with it, or because she couldn’t shape the magic in her words to match his, she didn’t know. It would probably be easier if she could just see her words, like he could.

She looked in the mirror again, at his face, and just studied it. Mostly, she was looking for inaccuracies or anything she had missed. Generally, shifting was intuitive, but the greater the difference from the type of monster or animal your clan tended toward, the more difficult it was without practice. Skeletons were not very much like reptiles or anything that lived in the water. However, Asteri’s preferred form was bipedal, and her head was fairly— as much as she hated the term— “humanoid.” So it wasn’t terribly difficult to be a skeleton… at least superficially. (She couldn’t get his arms (obviously), and she had only ever seen part of his upper body once. So to make up for the rest of her not looking quite right, she kept his coat draped around her.) She would need to figure out how his voice worked if she wanted to mimic it, though. But his voice wasn’t exactly shaped by his mouth. That was part of why this was so difficult.

Again, shifting was mostly intuitive. Mimicry came naturally. However, imitation based on sight alone was far more superficial. The best mimicry came about only after seeing and touching. There was something, entirely unconscious, something a little like telepathy. But not telepathy. It had nothing to do with thoughts. It was more like getting a biological reading of someone, but also a sense of how an individual monster used their magic in regard to their form (such as with distortion magic). Asteri had touched Gaster’s face and head multiple times, so she had that part down, everything about how his skull worked without having to think about it. In the mirror, it was HIS face that looked back at her, and despite her scrutiny, it was a perfect copy. It was kind of funny, actually, because now that she understood how he used distortion magic, she could give his face some really funny expressions.

She could also glow his eyes. Since she was not a skeleton, glowing and changing colors didn’t actually require any emotional input. It was exactly like changing the color (or luminescence) of any other part of her body. She cycled through the colors she had seen before: all of them, apparently, except red. What would that look like? She tried it and immediately grimaced.

“That does not look good on you, Wingdings,” she muttered in her own voice.

Unlike him, she couldn’t talk without moving her jaw in his form, even though she should be able to unless she had missed something. But touching was essentially guaranteed to allow her a perfect imitation. So why couldn’t she talk like him at all? Even if she couldn’t get it exactly right, she should be able to get a rough semblance of it, since she had his head now, and had heard his voice a little bit.

The only thing she could think was that his voice didn’t come from his mouth or head at all. Hers didn’t either, technically, but it was most obvious when she was in her “true” form: a gigantic blob of semi-transparent magic surrounding a SOUL. Since having a mouth was pretty common, and the types of monsters and animals her clan tended toward all had mouths and throats used to vocalize, it was second nature to speak with a mouth whenever she took any kind of form. But technically, unlike most of the more physically stable monsters, her voice came from her magic, from her SOUL. So perhaps his did too. That was fine, but if that WAS also the case for skeletons, then mimicking Gaster’s voice was going to require an extremely awkward conversation.

She sighed and stared into the mirror. She tried to make her (his) eyelights glow that deep blue. It wasn’t exactly the right color blue, nor did it have quite the same effect as when he did it, but it still made her feel a little calmer.

“Can’t believe you don’t think you’re handsome,” she mumbled after several long seconds of looking into the reflection. Asymmetrical eye sockets… As if that matters! And dark circles? Come on. She scoffed inwardly and smirked. If anyone could prove that it wouldn’t make a difference, it would be her.

Staring intently into the reflection, she leaned forward and focused on her (his) right eye socket, willing her magic to make it mirror the left one. Then she got rid of the bags under her (his) eyes. When she was finished, she stood normally and took a look.

“Well damn.”

She attempted that goofy grin he did, and the resulting image in the mirror was startling enough to make her laugh.

“Ohh, Wingdings,” she chuckled slowly, shaking her head. “You really were a cutie. But you look way too young like this.”

When she returned to his normal appearance, she couldn’t help the warm smile. “There you are.”

Seeing this expression on his face startled her a little, actually. He had looked at her like that before—exactly like that. Did that mean he had been feeling warmth in his SOUL when he looked at her, to have made this expression, the way she felt warmth in hers right now, looking at his visage in the mirror?

She hoped so.

It made her blush a little, and it was funny to see her own blue-green magic color his cheeks. (Were she more familiar with his form it its entirety, it would have been pink like his blush, but as it was she could only mimic parts of him.) What if she added the blue eyeglow to this expression…?

Her (his) eyelights lit up blue, the right hue this time, and it made her jolt a little. It was too tender, too soft. Too close to how he really had looked at her.

That was enough practice for now.

Asteri reverted to her own form and checked her phone as she exited the room. He had hardly answered her messages since last week. It worried her. Things had seemed like they were going so well. Had she been mistaken? He had never been the type to keep things from her if he was upset (not that he ever really got upset…) but maybe it had been too much too fast? He shared a lot, after all. Maybe he felt self-conscious. That was manageable. She had tried to be as reassuring as possible, but sometimes being vulnerable still felt uncomfortable; she could appreciate that. By his own admission, he hadn’t been close with anyone in a long time, so it would be understandable if he felt a little awkward. Yes, that was all. He wasn’t avoiding her, that was silly. She would see him again at their regular time in two days, and she could give him some reassurance in person. It was fine!

⁂

Raw magic. Like a SOUL. How had he never put that together? What if the answer to creating an artificial SOUL was as brilliantly simple as raw magic? With two human SOULs in their possession, they had made leaps and bounds in their understanding. Yet there was still so much they didn’t understand. Even one more SOUL would help them immensely, but Gaster didn’t wish for anyone else to die in this senseless war, neither monster nor human. They would make do with two SOULs, and hope that they could figure something out before another human fell. Not that the likelihood of that happening was high to begin with.

He could not make heads or tails of the yellow SOUL, truthfully. The cyan SOUL, the one he had spent the most time on, resonated more with him for some reason. Still, they hardly understood anything, despite all that they had learned. What made human SOULs so persistent? Part of what made humans so powerful was that their bodies were mostly physical, unlike monsters’, which were mostly magic. But SOULs were different. Monster SOULs were pure magic— love, hope, compassion, and so on, so it was said— and thus were closely attuned to their bodies, which were something like “refined” or “organic” magic; “bodily magic,” if you will. But the absolute nature of SOULs was unknown. Even less was known about human SOULs. Could they even be replicated? It seemed a crime against nature itself.

Wingdings Gaster loved the universe. He loved everything in it and everything it was, and in his heart, he believed that the universe loved him too. What was being asked of him required him to potentially break the laws of nature. As a scientist, as “Dr. Gaster,” the premise was thrilling. As a person, as Wingdings, the premise frightened him. Would the universe forgive him, if he succeeded? This role he had been given was not one that he wanted. Once more, he was thrust into a position that forced him to choose between what was necessary and what he felt was right.

Nothing good ever came from breaking his integrity. But he would gladly take the punishment if doing so freed everyone else. Even if the universe hated him for his betrayal, he would willingly accept that pain for the sake of all monsters.

Yet it was difficult to actively pursue this line of research when everything in him believed it was a bad idea. SOULs were not meant to be created as mere tools, not even human SOULs. If he could only find what made them so powerful and then isolate that, then perhaps he could find a way to synthesize that thing on its own. They would not need actual SOULs. He would not need to break the rules or challenge the powers that be.

And Asteri— that wonderful, clever woman— had, for the second time now, asked just the right questions and led him to a hypothesis.

Could raw magic from the most powerful kind of monster— a Boss Monster— be used like a SOUL, if enough of it was gathered and maintained?

In a living monster, magic regenerated over time, so long as they ate and slept. If there were a way to prevent it from dissipating, what would happen if he repeatedly summoned that raw magic into one place? If he did it enough times, could it become a SOUL, or something like a SOUL? True, it would take every monster alive just to equate one human SOUL, but he was immortal. Time was no issue. If preventing raw magic from dissipating worked, and he summoned it enough times, what if, over a period of time, he could generate enough magical energy to equal a human SOUL?

Actually… if he could prevent magic from dissipating, then when monsters died, what if he could gather the magic that made up their SOULs as well? But ultimately that came down to the question: What was it that separated regular magic from living magic?

That was something he had left up to the biology department to determine, for the time being.

The question remained: What would happen if he could summon enough raw magic? If he could create a SOUL, or something like a SOUL— something with that sort of power but no sentience— then theoretically he could repeat it indefinitely, so long as he cared for himself, and eventually generate enough magical power to break the barrier. What he needed in order to test this, however, was a means to prevent raw magic from dissipating. Some sort of stasis device. A machine that could house a SOUL.

Technically, they already had something similar: the glass housings for the human SOULs. While human SOULs did persist after death, they did not do so indefinitely. Thus the housings. Something that could contain the power of a human SOUL should be able to contain the magic of a monster, yes?

No.

SOULs naturally hold their shape, with all the power inside. They are self-containing. Raw magic is formless, unless it is in a SOUL (which brought him back to the question of living magic), and besides that, the magic he could summon was, as he had told Asteri, violent and explosive. It blasted through anything nearby. He needed something with the ability to contain an explosion that could disintegrate an entire person— an entire human.

And so when he arrived at the lab that morning after staying at Asteri’s, he threw himself into his work, alongside Alphys and his most trusted assistants. The fact that a week had passed only occurred to him because Alphys asked him if he was still coming with her to meet Asteri.

He very much wanted to. Oh, he wanted to see her. Everything that had transpired last time made his very SOUL feel bright. But he was “on a roll,” as Asteri herself might say, and he knew that if he went to see her, he would lose focus on his work. His mind would be filled with whatever delightful conversation they would end up having, and he would think about skeletons, and fonts, and speaking Aster, and whether he could eventually bring himself to speak his own font in front of her, and about how one day he would miss her very, very much.

But his own happiness was not worth the freedom of all monsters, so he needed to think about machines and magic and SOULs and science. This was the closest he had come to any real progress in years.

And so he canceled, with an apology and a brief explanation. Asteri said she understood. And that she still had his coat, if he wanted to drop by to get it sometime. Ah, that was right! She had texted him about it the day after he left. He had a few black coats, and lately he had hardly left the lab, so he didn’t mind. The one she had was his favorite, but it weren’t as though she were going to lose it. It was alright if she held onto it for now. He told her so, and she simply responded with, “Oh. Alright.”

Good, then! She didn’t mind, and he was making great progress!! Back to work it was!

⁂

He canceled.

Well, showing up in front of the lab early was her own fault. But come on, he could have let her know sooner…!

He was probably just busy. She knew this, logically. But the little needling in her head, the one that was hardly even a voice at all, more like if a feeling could be whispered, told her, ‘He doesn’t want to see you,’ without ever putting those exact words into conscious thought.

No, she reminded herself, No, he was reluctant to leave last time. He wanted to stay and talk more.

‘But that was before he had the chance to mull everything over,’ the feeling told her, now daring to speak in almost-words. ‘You made him uncomfortable, and now he doesn’t want to see you.’

Asteri gulped and tried to focus on her surroundings: the hot orange stone beneath her, the off-white laboratory building, the dark and looming cavern walls whose distant ceiling only seemed darker with the bright light from the magma far below. It didn’t help. Did I make him uncomfortable? He didn’t seem uncomfortable. I even asked if I’d said something when he was leaving, and he said no. He wouldn’t lie to me. Not about something like that. But… that was before he had time to think it over. But I didn’t do anything…! I gave him all the encouragement and support I could think to!

Still, there was a pit forming in her stomach. ‘You don’t think all that stuff you said was waaaay past the point of platonic?’ wheedled the feeling, now a voice. Her stomach lurched. ‘You don’t think you made him wildly uncomfortable?’

It felt like she couldn’t move. The only thing she could see was a little orange pebble by her boots that she was flicking around with her tail. It felt like she was being scolded, (keep your eyes on the ground so you don’t see how upset they are at you) but the only person there was her.

‘But you already knew that. You’ve just been avoiding thinking about it. You really think he wants to talk to you after you took advantage of his vulnerability to push your feelings on him?’

What feelings? Asteri shook her head back and forth, like there were someone there to convince. Her tail wound around her ankles. I didn’t—! It’s not like that! I didn’t… I didn’t do anything wrong! I don’t think of him like that…!

The voice in her head sneered. ‘As if you’d be able to tell anyway. The man’s lived for centuries; you really think he doesn’t know better? Do you really think he took “I want to take care of you” platonically?’

Asteri’s face burned with shame. That was platonic! she insisted weakly.

‘But it didn’t sound like it.’

He knows me! He… He knew it wasn’t…!

‘Really? When you saw him in tears and had the goddamn AUDACITY to say “I want” something!?’

She curled further in on herself.

‘You were all over him, you freaking disaster! “Stay the night.” “Cuddle with me.” “Let me just flirt with you directly to your FACE after you just entrusted me with an ultra vulnerable piece of yourself!” DO YOU THINK HE’S STUPID!?’

Asteri’s tail writhed itself into knots like a dying snake. I didn’t mean to!! I was just—! I was just trying to help! I didn’t ask him to cuddle, it just happened! And staying the night was…!

‘It doesn’t matter what you meant! You know how this goes! How many times do you have to learn the same lesson, you absolute idiot!?’

Her eyes stung.

‘You KNOW better! You know that you always overstep!! Why would you do it AGAIN!? And at his most vulnerable!! How selfish can you get!? Of course he canceled! Why would he want to talk to you after everything you pulled?’

She swallowed thickly.

He doesn’t want to see me. I should know better. I always overstep. And nobody ever tells you, they just stop talking to you.

Tears welled up in her eyes as it dawned on her.

I ruined it.

Again.

I’ll never be able to fix this. I overstepped when he was vulnerable. He took a chance and I shoved all delicacy aside just to—!

I ruined it. I ruined it. He’s gone. There aren’t second chances. You went too far!

She covered her mouth with her tail to stifle a hiccup, and backed up until she was against the side wall of the building.

You can’t undo this.

“A…Asteri….?

Her head whipped up when she heard a familiar voice a few minutes later. Alphys was peering around the corner at her with a frankly humiliating level of concern. It only got worse once she saw the shapeshifter’s damp, puffy eyes.

“Oh my god, a-are you okay??”

Asteri straightened immediately and tried to pull herself together as she clambered to her feet. She cleared her throat and nodded. “Y-Yeah, I’m. I’m fine. Totally…” She forced a smile. “All good!”

Her smile was not convincing enough, if Alphys’ expression was anything to go by. “Are… Are you sure?”

“Yep!”

Alphys definitely wanted to push it, but, after several achingly long seconds of deliberation, opted not to. Thank god.

“Are… A-Are you still, um… Do you still… want to hang out…?”

Asteri nodded, though she looked everywhere but at Alphys. “Y-Yeah! Yeah. I just thought, uh. I thought it was canceled.”

The lizard monster shook her head. “Oh! Um! N-No, that was j-just…! Just, um, Dr. Gaster.”

“Oh.” Asteri swallowed. Then smiled. “G-Good! Great. Awesome.”

Alphys eyed her uneasily, looking a little sweaty. “A-A-Are you sure you’re okay?”

Asteri’s smile tightened, like she was putting every ounce of effort into maintaining her expression. Because she was. Despite this, her eyes started to water again. She smiled harder. It looked worse.

“I’m pEAchy—!”

Alphys had never seen the shapeshifter so upset, despite how obviously she was trying not to look it. She looked… rough. That was an understatement; Asteri looked like she was on the verge of bursting into tears. No, actually, it looked like she had interrupted Asteri in the middle of bursting into tears. Then she had asked her one last time if she was alright, and Asteri’s tenuous composure finally crumbled. But that didn’t mean the shapeshifter wasn’t going to stand there in staunch denial of the fact and continue to force a smile like there weren’t tears streaming down her face. Alphys was beginning to really worry.

“I-! I-I’m going to get Dr. Gaster!” she announced, turning to run back the other way.

“NO DON’T!”

Asteri’s tail shot out and grabbed her shoulder. Alphys froze and turned back to her friend. The shapeshifter looked frighteningly intense about it.

“I’m okay. Don’t… get him.” She swallowed. “He’s… He’s bUsy!”

Alphys didn’t say anything, just stared at Asteri as her voice hitched (again). What did she even do in this situation?? What had she missed?

“A-Asteri…” she began, entirely unsure how to comfort her, or even begin to address whatever was going on with the older woman. “I, um. A-Are… Are you upset he isn’t coming?”

Asteri’s eyelights flicked away. “…No,” she lied.

Alphys gave her a doubtful look. She would have thought that a monster whose very nature was to imitate others would be a better liar.

Asteri sighed in defeat. “Okay, yes! But there’s… more to it.” She shuffled her feet and wilted in on herself. “Can I tell you somewhere not here?” The heat and the distant, heavy drone of machinery felt at odds with everything. Hotland was the last place she felt like she could think straight. It was too dry. She looked up at Alphys.

After a second, Alphys nodded. “O-Okay. Wanna go to… uh… C-Carlope’s?”

A few moments of hesitant deliberation passed, and then Asteri nodded too. “Yeah.” Her voice sounded too small when she spoke. “…I’ve been wanting to try one of his sandwiches.”

⁂

“H-He’s just been really, um. “In the zone,”” Alphys told the shapeshifter, regarding Gaster, as they stepped into an elevator.

“I get it,” came the response, with a little too much inflected compassion, a little too high in pitch. It was the tone of voice someone used when they were trying to sound understanding and not upset (but they were upset, they just didn’t want to be).

Alphys wrung her hands. She had missed a lot of whatever had been going on with her friends, having been busy studying for exams, but she didn’t think having to skip a few hangout sessions would leave her this out of the loop. Asteri and Gaster definitely had something going on, even if they themselves didn’t know it, but Asteri was acting like he was avoiding her on purpose or something.

What had she missed?

Asteri didn’t seem very forthcoming about it, but maybe she was just too worked up right now? For… whatever reason?? Alphys was endlessly curious, but more than that, she was anxious that her friend was upset. She didn’t want to push the topic, but if something had happened she wanted to know! Dr. Gaster hadn’t said anything, or made any indication that there was an issue. But was Asteri really this upset just because he wasn’t joining them? No, no, there had to be something, didn’t there?

“He… stayed over last week,” Asteri said quietly after a few minutes, out of nowhere.

Alphys’ head whipped up so quickly she nearly gave herself a headache. Dr. Gaster?? Spent the night with Asteri???

God, FINALLY!

Oh, wait… but he’s hardly been away from the lab all week. And now he canceled last-minute. Ohhh…

Asteri still wasn’t looking at her. Her eyes were trained on the ground in front of them as they stepped off the elevator and walked. She did glance over, briefly, and frowned a little before looking forward again. “Not like what you’re thinking, Alphys,” she muttered. Her cheeks were turquoise.

The lizard monster deflated a little, then perked back up in confusion. She didn’t have to ask; Asteri continued.

“He came over for dinner. We talked about my work. He ended up… sharing some personal stuff. I offered to let him stay because some of it was… heavy.” She swallowed, and her expression grew sadder. “No good being alone after talking about stuff like that. So we watched a movie and stuff, and ate an entire cake, and… fell asleep on the living room floor.”

Her mouth twitched up in a smile, but it slipped right back to a frown. Her wings wrapped around her body, and she almost looked like she might cry again. Several long seconds passed. “I think I messed up, Alphys,” she said finally, and her voice came out wobbly, like a spinning top running out of momentum.

Alphys looked up at her, worried. She had never seen Asteri look so unsure of herself. “Wh-What do you mean?”

They stopped walking— Asteri first, and then Alphys— and Asteri’s wings tightened around herself even more. Her jaw trembled, eyes still fixed on the floor even as they threatened to water. “He was really vulnerable,” she almost whispered, “a-and I was trying to be encouraging, and supportive. But I think instead I-I…” She swallowed thickly, mouth wobbling in defiance of her attempts to keep her composure. When she spoke this time, her voice cracked. “I think I got weird…!” A few tears spilled over and she curled in on herself. “I-I think I ruined it! I was too much, a-and I made him uncomfortable! I always ruin it.”

Alphys had no idea what was going on, much less what had transpired between her two friends. But she could gather that whatever they had talked about was important, and whatever Asteri said or did was weighing on her. Which meant…

“You think he canceled because he’s… m-mad at you?”

Asteri sniffled and nodded. “O-Or uncomfortable…”

Alphys blinked. While it was true that Dr. Gaster didn’t stray much from whatever topic he was fixated on when he got like this, during the last week, whenever he had mentioned Asteri, it was with the same glee as ever. Maybe even more, come to think of it.

“He’s… not mad at you,” she told Asteri simply. “A-At least, he doesn’t seem like it. He, um. He talks about you the same, so…” She shrugged and offered an awkward half-smile. “H-He really is just busy. Um. He gets like this, sometimes.”

Asteri raised her eyes, hesitant. “…He talks about me?”

“Everyone at work knows who you are,” Alphys confirmed. “I-In a good way! B-But, um, yeah! So. I-I think you’re, uh, m-maybe overthinking it?”

She waited while Asteri processed that.

When, after a few moments, the other woman was still silent, the lizard monster shuffled up to her. She wasn’t sure how exactly to comfort her friend, especially given her height. But, awkwardly, she held her arms out. Asteri stared down at her for a moment, long enough for Alphys to feel incredibly uncomfortable and start regretting offering the gesture. But then, in one fluid movement, Asteri melted down to a closer height and pushed into her arms.

“…But I got really weird, Alphys!” she cried into her shoulder.

Alphys slowly wrapped her arms around the older woman and awkwardly patted her back. “Dr. Gaster is like, s-super old, and, um. Scientists are all…? Kinda weird?”

“But he trusted me with stuff a-and I got too familiar and too weird, and I totally overstepped a bunch of boundaries.”

“I’m pretty sure the only thing h-he gets, uh, uncomfortable about is, um, his voice? L-Like if people ask about it? S-So unless—”

Asteri tensed immediately. Alphys’ stomach flipped.

“Oh.”

That was a big deal, then. Alphys knew that much. Once, just once, she had heard him speak. He was talking to himself, and when he had noticed her, he’d looked so mortified, so genuinely frightened, that her mind had gone completely blank. So she picked up where he had left off in his tangent and offered her thoughts on whatever calculations he had been talking through— the only thing she could think to do. And he went from scared to flabbergasted. She never really understood why. But he had asked her, in apparent disbelief, if she could understand him. Out loud, in his sleep-deprived haze, he asked her. She couldn’t think of a reason why she wouldn’t be able to. He had mumbled something about speaking a cipher. But he returned to signing and asked her not to mention this to anyone. So she didn’t. And she never brought it up again, either.

“I-It’s not my place to share anything,” Asteri mumbled into her shoulder, “but he… brought it up first.”

Well now Alphys was even more confused. She patted Asteri’s back one last, awkward time, and pulled away. Asteri returned to her full height and wiped her eyes with her tail. “Maybe, uh… Well, I don’t really, um. I-I don’t… know? The s-situation? But you’re… upset. And, um, my dad used to say that y-you’ll feel better if— if you eat.”

Asteri nodded. Right. They were barely into New Home. Carlope’s was still a bit of a walk. And she was hungry.

⁂

It was silent until they got to the shop. As soon as they walked in, Carlope himself looked up from the counter and threw two of his arms open with a huge smile. “Asteri! Alphys! So good to see you! No Dr. Gaster this time?!”

Alphys always flinched a little at Carlope’s booming voice. She didn’t like to draw so much attention. But the other patrons only glanced up for a moment, then returned to their meals. Half of them didn’t look up to begin with, being accustomed to the owner’s manner.

“N-No, he’s, um. B-Busy.”

“That’s too bad! My daughter is here, and she loves to see him!“

“Oh, um, s-sorry… Maybe, uh, next time?”

“Next time! What can I get you ladies?!”

Asteri shuffled closer to the counter. “What kind of sandwiches do you have, now?”

He lit up and launched into an excited explanation of the various new sandwich combinations he had come up with. She smiled a little. It was hard to feel as sad as before around Carlope. He was so genuine and… jolly. But being here did make Gaster’s absence all the more noticeable, and despite Alphys’ reassurance, the fear that she might never get to come here with him again twisted her stomach.

Once they ordered, and had their food, they slid into a booth in the corner, as far away from the other patrons as they could get in the small area. Alphys took a big sip of her soda and glanced at Asteri, who was nibbling her sandwich. She waited until the shapeshifter had eaten a decent amount before taking a deep breath and placing her hands on the table. “O-Okay, so… what, exactly? Happened with you and Dr. Gaster?”

Asteri already looked miserable. “I… can’t tell you. It’s not mine to tell.”

“No, no,” Alphys said, shaking her head. “N-Not that. What, uh… what did you do that was so… “weird”? B-Because, um, he seems… normal. I- I really don’t think he’s upset. He, uh… Okay so like he kind of gets this… look? When you text? And there’s definitely a- a different look when something bothers him. And he didn’t have that look! A-At all! He had the… the normal look.”

All that earned her was mildly confused blinking from Asteri. She sighed.

“L-Look. Um. Even if you asked a-about his voice, I don’t think he’d just stop talking to you. H-He’s not like that. Come on, Asteri. You really think he wouldn’t tell you if he was upset?”

Asteri stared down at the last little bit of sandwich in her drippy, green, magical hands, and sighed. “No,” she acquiesced, “he’d… he’d say something. You’re right.”

Alphys frowned and held her plate out across the table. Asteri plucked the lone olive off of it and popped it into her mouth. “He burst in last week talking about how you’d given him th-this brilliant idea, and he hasn’t stopped working since,” the former said.

It was always difficult for Asteri to overturn something when she felt it this strongly, even when presented with clear evidence to the contrary. She was open to being wrong, but it took her longer to process that she hadn’t messed up. It was so easy to blame herself, and so much harder to accept that other people might still care about her after she made mistakes. It was easier to run away and stick her head in the sand and beat herself up over her mistakes than to stick around and let someone else do the beating. Nothing was worse than the disappointment, the resentment, of someone else.

“He’s not upset with me…?”

Alphys shook her head. “No. I really don’t think so.”

Asteri just blinked down at the table. It was quiet for too long. Her mind was swirling.

“W-Why do you think you messed up?” Alphys’ hesitant voice cut through her thoughts. She looked up to see the younger woman’s nervous smile and frantic hand movements. “I-I mean you don’t, uh, y-you don’t have to tell me! B-But since, uh, w-we’re all, uh, f-friends, I thought… um. Yeah.”

It was quiet between them again. The shapeshifter stared at the table and the rings stained into it by the moisture of cups or bowls. Her mother always hated when Asteri forgot to wipe the condensation off, and accidentally ruined the finish. Why was that what popped up in the back of her mind? Maybe it was because she felt like such a child right now. So often, it felt like she had never really grown up. Sometimes she spoke to children— teenagers, adolescents mostly— and felt like she was one of them. Until inevitably some miscellaneous line was spoken by one, and it slapped her in the face that she was so much older. That no matter how much she felt like she had never grown past that stage, she had in too many ways that mattered. Yet still, whenever she got upset, all she could see herself as was a little armless lizard in stripes, sniveling on the bridge, where she went to run away whenever she was scolded. Even when no one was mad at her.

“I don’t know how to be a good friend.”

It came so softly out of her mouth with no prelude, so matter-of-fact and quiet and yet underlined with such a deep-set sadness, Asteri surprised herself by having spoken at all. But now it was out, and she felt her metaphorical soul pressing her to confess. Alphys was gaping at her, beginning to stammer some reassurance, but that wasn’t what she needed.

“Alphys.” Her voice stayed low. Alphys stopped stammering, just stared at her. She curled her tail around itself and held it on her lap like a pillow. “I don’t… really understand romance,” she admitted. “I don’t understand friendship. I guess I don’t… understand how they’re different.” She spoke slowly, studying the table like it held all the answers. “I mean, I understand when I see it. I understand in fiction. And I know that romantic love needs to be based in friendship in order to be sustainable and lasting. I know that love between friends is just as strong and powerful as romantic love. But don’t you ever think that sometimes it’s… just so unclear what’s what? When you’re in the thick of it?”

Alphys didn’t get the chance to respond. Asteri gave a single, subdued laugh and shook her head. “When I first got to know the monster who’s now one of my best friends, I thought I had a crush on her. We used to like, cuddle? And stuff? But for the most part everything we did is the same as what we do now. And it’s definitely not romantic love between us. The only real difference is… the feeling of it? I think?” She shook her head. “I’ve met friends and thought I felt something romantic for them, but didn’t; and I’ve met people I thought I felt only friendship for, but I ended up romantically involved. Where’s the line? What makes it different??”

The chatter of the small dining room seemed to fade into the background. All Asteri could hear were her own thoughts pouring out of her mouth uncontrollably.

“I love my friends. I would live and die for them, I would take care of them and comfort them and share my favorite things with them, but I don’t want to bi— kiss them. I’ve been in love before, shouldn’t I know what makes it different? I don’t, though! It’s like it’s just the air between us that changes. Tiny, imperceptible things. Magnetism, I guess you could call it. But I feel that whenever I’m excited to know someone! I want to be around them all the time, and I want them to tell me everything and I want to tell them everything— and then it simmers down into friendship. It feels like being hungry, like I want to know everything they could ever share, and I’ll hold it for them, and I’ll feed them with everything about me too.” She sat up, then, but her frown only pulled deeper and her eyes only grew sadder. “I… I just desperately want to be known and understood! But I don’t even understand myself. It’s emotional intimacy I want, but I don’t understand boundaries! I just want to be close, and closer, and closer! But it’s never satisfied! It’s like water without a cup, it soaks into everything! And it gets too much, it ruins friendships, and then I beat myself up for not being able to hold back.” She laughed bitterly. “God, all it ever takes is one mistake! And suddenly someone you thought understood you never wants to speak to you again!”

Asteri rubbed her face with the tips of her wings and took a deep breath, resting her “elbows” on the table as she cradled her head.

“He’s my friend,” she all but whimpered, “and I care about him so much. But I see myself inching closer to an edge, except I don’t actually know where the edge is, just that it’s somewhere around here. And you’d think, “Gee Asteri, maybe you should stop before you accidentally slip over it,” but no! I’m so hungry! And— And selfish, and greedy! I can never just stop! I want everything I can have, and I always think that I’ll see the edge coming. And sometimes I do! Or sometimes the other person is actually really cool about it, and I can tell them about not being able to see the edge ahead of time, and they’ll tell me nicely when I hit it, and everything is fine. But then other times it feels so consuming, so all-encompassing, like it’s too dark to see. And that’s what it feels like this time. But I don’t want to pull away. I like it. I’m afraid, but I can’t stop. We get along so well, Alphys, I’ve never… I just want all of it! But because it’s so good, I’m so scared of messing up. But it’s like my mouth runs on its own around him! I don’t know the last time I felt so comfortable and so nervous around someone at the same time!

“Everything always feels the same at first, to me. But everyone says that if I feel this intensely, in X or Y ways, then it’s romantic. Or at least, not platonic. But I always feel this at first with people I click with. I mean— not with you. It’s easy to tell that it’s not romantic. I mean I respect you as an adult but… to me you’re still too much of a kid. No offense.”

Alphys waved it off. “None taken.”

Asteri’s little smile in response slipped away back into an anxious frown, and her gaze returned to the table between them. “I’m just… so scared to overstep. But I want to know him. When we get talking, the excitement feels so mutual. It feels like being seen. A-And understood. And god, it feels so good. B-But…” She looked down, curling around her tail on her lap. “Being seen never goes well for me. There’s always a point where I’m too much.”

The tip of her tail flicked slowly against the larger segment it was coiled around. “I mean, my friends, Kelinn and Sembie, they’re not like that. They’ve… they’ve always stuck by me, no matter our disagreements, no matter my mistakes. But they don’t… get me. They listen to me talk about what I care about because they love me, of course, and they ask questions, but it isn’t… it isn’t the same as talking to him. With Gaster it’s like we’re on the same wavelength all the time. We see things in exactly the same range of colors— metaphorically speaking. My other friends, we have to sort of… tune ourselves every time we meet up. Which is fine! And worth the work! But it… It’s not just … I-It isn’t…”

“E-Effortless?” Alphys suggested gently.

“Yeah,” Asteri breathed. “It’s so effortless with him. And I don’t…” She swallowed, looking up with a frightened vulnerability the younger woman had never seen in her before. “I don’t want to lose something like that.”

Alphys nodded and scooted forward, craning her head to give Asteri a crooked smile. “I, um… I-I can’t exactly… r-relate, to some of that, t-to be honest,” she admitted, “and that’s… a lot. But I don’t think you’re going to ruin things w-with Dr. Gaster. S-Sometimes, um. The little voice in my head isn’t… very nice.” She looked sadly away for a moment, then back up with a renewed smile. “B-But you can’t listen to it! E-Even if you make a mistake. He isn’t that kind of person. I-I mean, you’ve heard him talk about Kleg. He, uh, m-makes it obvious i-if you… mess up. B-But like he’s nice about it! It’s hard to upset him. And that’s coming from me! I-I make… uh. A lot of mistakes.”

Asteri huffed. “Yeah but he sees you like a daughter— he loves you!”

“He loves you too!”

She froze.

Alphys gulped, but held her ground. “H…He does. He loves everyone he works with, too. And he talks about you all the time! H-He won’t admit it, but to him, his friends and coworkers are- are family. Zatienne, and Tsil, and Guy… M-Me, and you too! All of us! And maybe… maybe you should tell him this? I don’t, um, I don’t think he’d think any less of you.”

Asteri didn’t answer right away. But after a moment, she let out a breath and nodded slowly. A small smile crept across her face, and she let her eyes fall back down to her lap. “No… I suppose he wouldn’t, if I think about it honestly.”

Alphys was right. If she thought about it without the blurry filter of emotions, she knew better. Gaster wouldn’t abandon her, even over hurt feelings or if she made him uncomfortable. After she lashed out at him after trapping herself with purple magic, and he saw her have that humiliating breakdown, he told her that he wouldn’t be so easily put-off by what she said or did. He had lived long enough to be able to tell when someone simply made a mistake. Asteri was being overly hard on herself. And like Alphys had said: he would mention it if there were an issue. He’s a grown-ass man, Asteri chided herself. If there is a problem, he can communicate it to me like an adult. I may mess up a lot, but if my friends have taught me anything, it’s that people who actually care about you will assume the best when you mess up, and make the effort to repair or clarify things. No point in being anxious about it when there’s no actual evidence that anything is wrong. It’s fine. Alphys is right.

Alphys smiled hopefully at her. “When I was a kid, and I felt bad about… about myself, um. My dad would invite my friends over. Sometimes for a sleepover, i-if it wasn’t a school night. You don’t have to, y-you know, talk about it, b-but I think it’s, um. Helpful? To be with people wh-who care about you. You know? N-Not that you should have a sleepover… I-I mean unless you want to! You can do w-whatever you want—!”

The sound of Asteri chuckling softly prevented Alphys from rambling further. She thought back to how Gaster had said he’d never had a sleepover before. “That’s not a bad idea, you know…” Her head lifted and her eyes turned to look at Alphys curiously. “Would you want to sleep over? After your exams, of course.”

Alphys blinked— “Me?” —then broke into a toothy smile as her eyes sparkled with excitement. “I-I-I’d love to! I c-could bring the— the rest of Sailor Moon, and those sodas I found, and w-we could have a pillow fight, and—”

Asteri smiled wider as her friend went on. Alphys was right. Being around friends definitely helped with this kind of thinking. It didn’t make it go away completely, but it helped. Alphys was a good friend. She felt much, much lighter now.

“You have exams, this week right? No, next week?”

“Huh? O-Oh, um. They start the middle of this week.” Alphys sighed like she was already exhausted— she probably was, come to think of it. “I don’t know why they did them like that. B-But yeah, um, this coming week, then next week.”

Asteri grimaced. She definitely did not miss that part of university. “And you’re sure you’re going to be up to meet Kelinn and Sembie that weekend?”

Alphys shot her finger guns. “I’ll be r-riding the high of espresso and relief.”

Good grief. Asteri shook her head. “I’m gonna make you lunches so that you eat something healthy this week. Anyway—” She waved her tail as if to shove that matter aside. “Do you want to stay over that night? You’ll already be here. I won’t let my other friends stay too late. What do you think?”

“That—! That sounds good!” Alphys wiped her claws on her lab coat. “I-I need to wash it anyway,” she justified before Asteri could even say anything. “What, um, w-what about Dr. Gaster?” she asked, a little hesitantly. “Or, uh, is that n-not…?”

Asteri shifted in her seat a little in consideration. She would very much like to have him stay over again, if he wanted to. It would be fun. When she invited Alphys, she did hope that he might stay too, if things were truly alright between them… “If he wants to stay,” she nodded, “then I think that would be fun. If you don’t mind.”

Alphys didn’t mind.

They spent the next little while talking about it— what to bring and what they might do— and Alphys reassured Asteri that Gaster was simply wrapped up in his work, but he wouldn’t cancel something they’d had planned this long. She didn’t stay longer than an hour or so, because she had to finish preparations for exams, but when she left, Asteri felt a thousand times better. She went to wave again, from where she still sat at the booth, only to see a little spider child running up to Alphys by the door to try to hand her a drawing and a little box. Alphys took them with an awkward smile, and the child skipped back inside and behind the counter. That must be Carlope’s daughter. She was cute. Pale purple, not unlike Asteri (though a bit bluer) with dark pigtails that bounced as she skipped. Unlike her father, who had six eyes, the little girl had five: two on each side and one completely vertical in the middle of her forehead. Huh. Asteri wondered if that was just a variation. She didn’t know much about spiders, except that most of them were quite small, and some of them could use purple magic. Would it be in bad taste to ask Carlope about that? she wondered absently.

She watched as the heavyset spider bent down and picked his daughter up— she couldn’t have been much past the very first years of school— and carried her around in one set of arms while he ran the register. The little girl seemed utterly enthralled by the machine. She waved goodbye to some customers with him, and they laughed together. Asteri was enchanted. What an adorable child. She had never thought much of having children— she didn’t think she’d make a very good mother— but she supposed that if she met the right monster, the thought was appealing.

Gaster came to mind, and she shoved that notion away as quickly as it appeared. She was not thinking about that!! They were only friends! That was the whole reason she had gotten so worried! The last thing she needed was to have actual romantic feelings for him, instead of these totally manageable pseudo-romantic ones that she felt for lots of people. Not to mention, she was still a little anxious about the whole matter of their relationship (their very, strictly platonic one) despite the reassurance from Alphys. She should really just ask him directly. That was the mature thing to do here, instead of dancing around it and looking for subtle clues when she could just communicate like an adult. She sighed and pulled out her phone.

Hey. I know you’re very busy, but this has been bugging me. It’s probably not even a big deal, but in case there is something, I just wanted to ask directly. Are you mad at me? <

She nervously scraped her upper teeth over the lower ones, then quickly added:

I mean I know you’re probably not but like just in case <

This was stupid, ugh, she should’ve done this so differently.

Actually sorry it’s fine I’m fine just ignore this! Sorry <

If this last week was anything to go by, he would take a long time to respond. At least another hour. She dragged a wing down her face. Why couldn’t she un-send messages? Every subsequent message she sent would just make it worse, but the longer it took to get a reply, the more tempted she would be to write more. Why did she do this?

To take her mind off of it, she flipped through her notebook for a little while, but all her notes on fonts and skeletons and the printed-out picture of the Aster alphabet she had taped in there just made her think about everything that happened with Gaster last week all the more. She resisted the very, very strong urge to slam her head into the table at the memory of unconsciously shifting from how protective she’d gotten, and offering to beat the crap out of someone for him.

Instead, she tried to see how many hands she could materialize before her focus was split too many ways and they all lost form. Most of the magic returned to her wings, but a little of it dissipated into the air like how bullets did. She got up to four. She was trying to get a fifth one to form without losing focus when the little spider girl caught her attention. She hopped up into an empty booth, a toy tea pot carelessly held in one hand now set on the table. She was very small in the big booth seat; her legs that kicked back and forth didn’t come anywhere near the ground. The shop was practically deserted now (Carlope must be closing early), so the little girl was probably bored. There were a few other things on the table: a cup, a saucer, a… very large glass jar. She appeared to be playing with a… muffin? That had legs?

Asteri stared. Was that an animal? Or just a really strange muffin? Was it a monster? She couldn’t tell. She watched as the little girl tipped the tall, rectangular, glass jar, and the muffin creature crawled inside. The jar was tipped back upright, and the creature scuttled in a circle at the bottom. The spider girl pulled what looked like a cotton ball out of… somewhere? Her pocket? And held it over the opening. The muffin(?) tried in vain to climb the slippery glass walls, and the girl giggled at its struggle.

Asteri frowned. It wasn’t very nice to torment the poor creature. She glanced at the counter, but Carlope must have been in the back. Her attention returned to the child. She assumed the girl would continue to tease the muffin creature. Instead, to the shapeshifter’s absolute horror, she picked up the toy tea pot and poured the entire contents of it into the jar, completely submerging the creature.

Asteri gaped.

SHE JUST KILLED THAT MUFFIN!

While she reeled in abject horror (she thought that pot was empty!), the young spider monster dropped the cotton ball into the jar, where it promptly disappeared. The strangely opaque, violet liquid drained away as if there were a hole somewhere, but there was no puddle on the table. When the liquid was gone, several unevenly spaced purple lines were stuck to the inside of the jar like cobwebs, all of different thicknesses. The little girl huffed at this, apparently unhappy at their appearance. The cotton ball was stuck to one of the webs, looking more violet but otherwise unchanged, somehow. Most importantly, however, and to Asteri’s immense relief, the muffin creature was moving about at the bottom, apparently completely unbothered by the attempted drowning.

Too many questions swirled in the shapeshifter’s head. What just happened? Where did that purple liquid go?? What was that stuff? How is that muffin alive? (In general, but especially after having been submerged?) What are those webs, were they there before but just not visible? What’s with the cotton ball?

The child said something to the jar, or perhaps to the creature inside, and the muffin began to “climb” the purple webs, pulling them toward itself. Except it didn’t move upward— the webs slid down toward it and disappeared!

It hit Asteri like a basketball to the face. That’s purple magic. Carlope’s daughter can use purple magic.

The muffin reached the cotton ball— or rather, the cotton ball reached the muffin— and the little girl cheered. It tore into the thing with a ferocity that seemed disproportionate to its size. When the cotton ball was torn open, dozens of tiny dots poured out. The muffin went wild trying to eat all of them. Asteri’s eyes bulged.

That wasn’t a cotton ball.

Before she could even begin to process either of those realizations or what to do about them, her phone buzzed, startling her out of her horror. She picked it up, and her stomach twisted with a different kind of fear. It was Gaster.

> WHERE ARE YOU?

> WE SHOULD SPEAK. IN PERSON.

Oh god he was mad at her. Her tail twisted into knots, and she replied with magic hands.

I’m at Carlope’s. But it’s fine I know you’re busy! <

We can talk another time don’t worry about it!! <

She was such a coward. She sunk down in her booth and went back to trying to make as many hands as she could, now trying to see how far away she could move them in whatever direction. Maybe he would just let it go. She glanced around. The last person had left. No one here now but herself and Carlope’s daughter. She sighed. She should just go home. It was getting late, and Carlope would probably ask her to leave soon anyway. One of her hands picked her phone up again. No response. Thank god. Maybe he got distracted—

All the sudden there was noise from the back, and Carlope’s daughter perked up. She slid out of her seat, jar tucked under her arm (it was half as big as she was), and ran into the kitchen. When the door swung open, Asteri heard Carlope laughing and asking someone about using the back door. Asteri was curious, but was too focused on her own misery, and seeing how far away she could get her hands before they fizzled. She didn’t have time to wonder about whatever had happened in the kitchen, however, because the door swung back open and Carlope exited, immediately followed the answer, who ducked through the door after him:

Gaster.

He didn’t have a coat, which made him look even skinnier, somehow.

“—ep, she’s still over in the back!” she hear Carlope say.

Crap!

Asteri slid even farther down, meaning to blend in against the booth, but a strange sensation caught her attention by first: one of her hands wouldn’t come back. It was like it was stuck. It wouldn’t dissipate either, for some reason. She camouflaged herself and peeked over the top of the booth, and almost groaned in dismay at what she saw. Carlope’s daughter, who had exited the kitchen unseen, had somehow managed to capture one of her hands in that jar! It was stuck in the purple magic!

Movement caught her attention: Gaster was no longer signing at Carlope and was now looking out over the dining room in confusion. Thank god for camouflage. Unfortunately, something must have given her away, because he suddenly perked up and started walking toward her.

He didn’t look upset…

He stopped beside her seat and looked down at her with a mixture of sadness and tired amusement. “Your clothes are still visible, Asteri.”

She swore internally.

“Carlope is about to close. Could we go somewhere else?”

She was too embarrassed to say anything. He knew she was there, there was no pretending otherwise, but un-camouflaging was just admitting that she tried to hide on purpose. He sighed and looked at her pleadingly.

“Asteri, please do not shut down on me. I am not angry with you. At all. But I would like to talk about this elsewhere.”

A pang of both relief and guilt squeezed her. Gaster only gave her a second this time before trying again. He had an unusually anxious energy.

“Please. I don’t want to trouble Carlope further than I already have by teleporting into a bucket of mop water.”

Asteri looked down. The bottom of one of Gaster’s pant legs was soaked. She grimaced, and then sighed and let herself fade back to the right color, texture, and shape. Her cheeks were turquoise, and she didn’t meet his eyes.

“Hi… Gaster.”

He knelt down and looked up at her anxiously. “Hello, Asteri. May we go?”

She nodded and got to her feet. He stood as well and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. What?? Her face burned.

“Ready?”

“Y-Yeah.” She hunched inward, and her pulled her against his side. Holy shit what’s happening? “B-But—”

“Good. I’m just taking us outside. It will only be a second.”

The world started to darken, and Asteri realized in that split second that what he meant by “go” was different than what she had thought. “Wait! Gaster!” She looked up at him, panicked. “My hand—!”

But it was too late, and all she saw before the darkness set in was his alarmed expression.

The “travel time” was a grand total of five seconds. They stepped out of the darkness and into an alley by a park. He let go of her immediately to begin worriedly signing. “Your hand? What? Are you alright??”

She stumbled backward a step and frowned. “I’m— I’m fine…” It was a surprise to her as well. “Carlope’s daughter caught one of my hands in her weird magic jar while I wasn’t paying attention, and it wouldn’t return. I wanted to get it out before we left! I thought you meant “can we go” like “can we walk out the door that’s 10 seconds away”!”

Gaster covered his mouth, mortified. “I am so sorry. Let’s go back and get it—”

The trip back was uncomfortable, even if they only had to be pressed together for a few seconds. Gaster landed in the mop water again and almost lost his balance. Asteri was too busy panicking to notice and pulled away from him as soon as she could. Carlope poked his head back through the kitchen door with a confused look. “Oh! Hello again!”

“My apologies, Carlope,” Gaster began as he stepped out of the bucket, “but we left something. We think your daughter has one of Asteri’s hands caught in her magic.”

“I meant to say something before we left, but I didn’t get the chance,” Asteri fretted.

Carlope leaned back the other way through the door. “Muffet! You didn’t take someone’s hand, didja‽”

Gaster’s eye sockets widened. “Carlope…”

The little girl came running up the doorway, giggling with the jar in her arms, empty save for the muffin creature. “Ufufufu! I had it but it went away after I left it with Daddy!”

Asteri stared at the jar. No hand. But she hadn’t felt any magic return to her. It wasn’t like it was something that could be “taken.” And she surely would have felt it if the girl had fed it to that muffin creature. That thing was ferocious.

She sagged. Where had her hand gone? It wasn’t much bodily magic, but it was still a little. Is it just gone??

“Hmm, sorry! I haven’t seen it!” Carlope shrugged, though he did look worried. “Are you okay‽ I know ya don’t exactly… got a lotta hands to spare!”

Gaster nudged her anxiously. “A-Ah, Asteri…?”

She shook her head. “I-I’m okay, it’s… it’s fine. Um. Thanks anyway.”

“Sure thing! Sorry about your hand! Hope you find it!”

Asteri wasn’t about to explain how her magic worked to him. The man looked exhausted, despite his ever-enthusiastic demeanor, and his daughter was running around in circles, full of energy. Asteri turned back to Gaster, frowning down at the floor. “Let’s go.”

Gaster was still staring incredulously at Carlope. He nodded slowly, then tore his attention away and awkwardly pulled Asteri to his side again. They waved goodbye and faded away. A few seconds later they were by the park again. Asteri sighed as they stepped away from each other. Gaster shuffled nervously. The silence between them was palpable.

“Asteri, I’m sorry—”

She whipped her head up, scowling at him. “What the hell were you in such a big hurry for‽”

He took a step back, startled. She took a step forward. “If you need to get back to work that badly, why even come‽ You could’ve just told me you weren’t mad in a text, and spared me the anxiety! And— And whatever just happened to my hand! I don’t summon those like you do, Gaster, they’re actually part of me!” Her voice grew louder and more desperate with each accusation. “A-And it’s not a lot, no, but god, a piece of me just disappeared!!”

She pinned him with an icy glare, ignoring the dismay on his face. “What the hell could have possibly warranted coming all the way to see me, and then rushing out like that‽”

If a seven-foot man could shrink, then Gaster most certainly did under her withering gaze. His eyelights burned his shade of blue, purple flickering in here and there, and it didn’t take another skeleton to figure out that it was guilt. It took several aborted hand movements before he found the words.

He ducked his head. “I’m sorry.”

She just watched him.

“You are right, that wasn’t warranted. My haste cost you—”

Asteri huffed, and he flinched a little. “Stop, I know you’re sorry!” Her voice didn’t sound angry anymore so much as frustrated. “Just answer the question!”

Gaster looked away. “…Guilt.”

She blinked. “…What?”

“When you asked if I was upset with you, it occurred to me why you would think that, and I felt terrible. I wanted to apologize in person, immediately. But I did not want an audience, and I knew Carlope wanted to close so he could get his daughter home. I was so anxious to sort matters out…” He sighed sadly. “…that I made them worse.”

Asteri felt the tension and anger bleed away, leaving only confusion and emptiness. Of all people, she could understand being in a hurry to correct a misunderstanding. She was all too familiar with how anxiety could eat at you— she’d experienced it earlier.

“Canceling our plans at the last minute was inconsiderate, and I did not give any thought to how you might feel beyond the surface of your response. And now I have caused something irreversible.”

She looked at him now without the lens of indignation and panic, and he seemed too small. This… This was not how any of this was supposed to go. After last week, things were supposed to be better. They were supposed to be closer, and understand each other better. But all today had proved was that the opposite was true instead. Gaster always seemed to have a grip on his emotions, they always seemed to be in their proper place, even if his excitement sometimes made him come across a bit absentminded. But he was just as driven by his feelings as anyone, wasn’t he? All these months, and she was only now beginning to see that.

He’d just been scared of hurting her.

And then he actually did. How bitterly ironic.

Asteri sighed deeply and moved toward him. He looked up at her movement, startled— fearful? —and her expression softened a little. She felt more tired than anything. She extended her wings and wrapped the ends around his upper arms. He peered down at her, looking far too much like a kicked puppy. “I’m not mad mad at you,” she sighed. “I’d be a hypocrite to be upset when I would have panicked the exact same way.”

His eyelights flitted away. His eyes looked even more sunken, somehow. “You have every right to be angry. My haste cost you a piece of yourself. I cannot imagine…”

Asteri looked down. “Look, I think we should sit down somewhere.”

She tilted to look past him. Beyond the alley they were standing in, there was an empty park with a few benches and a small fountain in the center. On the far side, high above, was a wall full of windows: a hall that was actually part of the castle. This area was one of the few places that got direct sunlight from above, so during the day the light streamed into the hall. Right now, though, the distant sky that might show through the cracks in the ceiling was dim with the fading light of dusk. Not that much sunlight reached the park so far down anyway.

They made their way over to a bench and sat down. Gaster still looked guilt-ridden. Asteri still felt exhausted. What a roller coaster today had been. Was this just how visits with him were going to be now? She remained facing forward, but swiveled her head to look at the skeleton beside her. No, she wasn’t about to brush off the fact that she had just permanently lost a small chunk of her body, but she also couldn’t really blame him for the whole thing. Anxiety didn’t exactly let you think straight. And if she hadn’t been so preoccupied with hiding, she could have gotten her hand back from Carlope’s daughter.

She glanced behind her, then back to him and sighed inwardly. “Wingdings,” she called as softly as she could. “I—”

He recoiled like she had struck him, and stared at her with a mixture of fear and what could only be called betrayal. His eyelights flickered rapidly between orange and red. (Wasn’t red for pain—?)

Her heart fell into her stomach, and she held her wings up, eyes wide and expression open as she stumbled over herself to clarify, “Wait, no, I-I’m not angry! Th-That’s why I called you that, that’s what I was gonna say! I should’ve thought that through better, I’m sorry!!”

Gaster studied her for a few seconds, then relaxed, eyes returning to normal. She felt awful.

“I… would never do that,” she said quietly, fidgeting with her tail. “No matter how angry I was. I’m sorry.”

He sighed and looked down at his lap. “…Communication is more difficult than I remember.”

Asteri nodded deeply in agreement. “It’s like it gets harder the more you get to know someone.” She paused. “…Are you mad at me now?”

Gaster blew a dry laugh through his nose. “No. You scared me, but you immediately realized.”

That was a relief, at least. Though she still felt awful for frightening him. She scooted just a few millimeters closer. “Well. I’m not mad at you either. For anything.”

They looked at each other at the same time, and shared a little smile. He scooted a bit closer too, when they looked away. Her tail curved behind them both and curled on the other side of him. Noting that his one leg was still wet from the mop water, she cast a little fire magic down by his foot. He made an appreciative noise and stuck his foot into it.

“I mean, yeah, I’m… upset about my hand,” she began again, leaning back against the bench. “But mostly because the whole idea that that can even happen is terrifying, not because I actually lost very much, or because it hurt.” She paused, uneasy. “Is… Is that what happens when something is left “outside the radius” of you bending gravity to teleport? It just… vanishes??”

She heard him swallow. “About that…”

Asteri lifted her head. He had a strange expression.

“Do you remember when I told you that you use interrobangs?”

Her brows furrowed in confusion, but she nodded.

“And do you remember when I told you how Carlope always has at least one exclamation point in everything he says, including questions?”

“Yeah…?”

“When we returned to retrieve your hand, he asked two questions during the conversation.” Gaster hesitated, looking disturbed. “Both of them ended with interrobangs.”

Asteri gaped.

“I don’t know what that means, truthfully, but he has never used them before, even when he asked me about using the back door when I first teleported in. It cannot be a coincidence.”

She was silent for a long time as she processed that.

“The only thing I can think of,” Gaster began again, slowly, after several long moments, “is that your magic was scattered as we stepped through spacetime. But I have no idea how or why that would affect someone else’s text magic.”

Asteri shook her head. “I… I don’t… I mean, you don’t think he like, ate it, do you??”

Gaster waved a dismissive hand. “As far as cannibalism goes, spiders only eat other spiders. He would not do that. Additionally, you must remember: teleportation is instantaneous from the outside. We were gone even less time than it felt like, which was under a minute to begin with. Even if he had attempted to eat your hand, and you somehow did not feel it, there was too little time. Spiders eat slowly.”

One thing Asteri appreciated about Gaster was that he offered thorough explanations, even to ridiculous ideas.

His brows knit together in thought. “How did Muffet manage to “capture” your hand? The jar she feeds her pet in is only glass, and I did not see a lid. Your magic should have been able to return to you. Your hands require concentration to remain materialized, do they not?”

So that muffin was some kind of animal. Asteri filed that trivia away. “They do, yeah. I was watching her earlier and I’m pretty sure she… cast purple magic?? In the jar?” Gaster’s eyebrows shot up. “It was a lot different than when I did it though.”

“I did not realize she had a propensity for purple magic…”

“She must have gotten my hand inside while I was distracted, but before it fizzled. I saw it stuck to the purple webs.”

Gaster’s brows furrowed. “Perseverance… SOUL magic… That certainly adds another layer to this.” He sat straighter suddenly, struck with a thought. “Perseverance and SOUL magic! They prevented your magic from dissipating! Even though it was not used directly on your SOUL, it affected your magic!”

He jumped to his feet and began pacing. His eyelights darted around excitedly, and Asteri could practically see the gears working in his head. She was pretty sure he was muttering to himself now, and her eyes widened. Is… Is he speaking Wingdings? The curiosity was killing her.

But before she could debate with herself whether it was right of her to try to listen, he stopped suddenly and looked up. “There must be some property of certain magics that allows them to persist. You can use purple magic, and this happened with its use as well. There is something about perseverance. Persistence. Is it able to influence others’ magic more easily? Perhaps by outlasting…? No, no.” He started pacing again, but now he was signing to himself instead of muttering. “Do other colored magics have unique properties? How do they interact? What bearing does this have on how human SOULs are colored…?”

Oh. Asteri frowned. “Are you working right now?”

Gaster stopped again and snapped his head up like he had forgotten she was there. “No. Yes. Somewhat? It is related!”

She walked over to him and gripped his forearms with her wings. Now that she was looking at him, he looked more tired than she had ever seen him. She narrowed her eyes. “When was the last time you slept?” He smiled proudly and summoned blue hands to answer, but she interrupted. “More than two hours?”

His smile disappeared.

“That’s what I thought. Go to bed! At home. You’ll think better! There’s nothing we can do now, and we can figure out what happened and why later. Sleep!”

He heaved a sigh. “But…”

“No buts! You’re going to accidentally step off a catwalk one of these days.”

Gaster humphed and crossed his arms. “I haven’t even been in the CORE this week.”

“Good. You still need rest. This isn’t sustainable. No wonder you can’t think straight! Don’t make me guilt-trip you.”

He grumbled. “At least let me take you home first?”

Asteri narrowed her eyes at him. “Is it even safe for you to be manipulating gravity when you’re this sleep-deprived?”

He waved it off. “I’ve done it under worse conditions.” She raised an eyebrow. He sighed. “But I promise I will sleep afterward.”

“More than two hours? And at home?”

“…Yes.”

She let go of him and peeked behind his back to make sure he didn’t have fingers crossed on any extra hands. “And you promise you aren’t going to teleport us into a wall?”

Gaster gave her a vaguely indignant look and rolled his eyes. “Give me some credit. I’ve only been doing this for centuries.”

“Okay, okay. Wait for me to be in one piece though.” While Asteri fused together, he rubbed the back of his skull. “Okay. Ready.”

He paused, and looked up at her guiltily. “Asteri, I am sorry about your hand. I know it was not a lot of your magic, but it must be disturbing to be missing a piece of yourself.”

“I’m trying not to think about it, to be honest,” Asteri admitted, stepping back into his space and turning so her back was against his chest. She craned her head up to look at him and smiled a little. “But, apology accepted, if that’s what you need to hear.”

He blinked a few times, but then returned the smile, hopeful, as his arms wrapped around her middle. “Thank you.”

The trip from New Home to Waterfall was longer, closer to five minutes, but Asteri knew to expect the darkness now. True, it was unnerving, to be in that place-between-places for so long, where even her own wings weren’t visible, but she could feel Gaster behind her, and he hummed for her without her even needing to ask. It made it less frightening, didn’t give her the chance to think about getting lost here, and if doing so would “scatter” her and make the rest of her vanish like her hand had. She focused on the melody instead of letting herself wonder what would happen if she suddenly disappeared. She tried to hum along with him.

Green-blue grass greeted them. Gaster immediately pulled away to look her over. She smiled at him. “I’m okay. And all in one piece.”

Blue and green lit his eyes in relief. “Good.” He paused, looking more serious. “I know you accepted my apology. But…”

“Really. It’s forgiven. I’m not happy that it happened, and I’m still kind of scared of the implications, to be honest, but it’s pointless to be angry when you already feel bad.” She rubbed one wing against the other. “I’m sorry I yelled at you in the alley.”

“That was completely reasonable given—”

Asteri sighed. “Please don’t justify it, just accept my apology.”

Gaster nodded. “…Very well. Apology accepted.”

“I mean you didn’t have to accept it, I shouldn’t have told you what to do, you’re not obligated to accept an apology.”

He blew a good-natured huff out his nose. “It is forgiven.”

They stood there for a moment in not-quite-awkward silence, until Asteri perked up suddenly. “Oh! Your coat! Let me go get it.” She ran into the house, and a moment or two later she jogged back out toward him, coat in her tail. “Here.”

He took it gratefully and put it on. “Thank you. I have others, but this is my favorite.”

Asteri smiled lopsidedly and look him up and down. “It looks good on you.”

Gaster looked like he was trying not to be so obviously flattered. “Thank you. And thank you for taking care of it.”

I didn’t take care of it so much as wear it, she thought to herself. “Uh, no trouble.” She glanced over her shoulder at the walkway to her door. “I’d invite you in, but I really want you to get some rest.”

“Ah, right.”

“Don’t want you accidentally leaving your head behind or something,” she said, trying to make light of the matter so she didn’t have to think about the weight of it. “I’m not the only one with body parts that can get left behind.”

Gaster didn’t seem to think it was funny, he just lowered his head guiltily. “Asteri… I promise I will take better care of you.”

The wording surprised her a little— not ‘be more careful,’ not even ‘take better care.’ He said ‘take better care of you.’ She ignored the warmth in her chest and face. “You have to take better care of yourself to do that.”

That gave him pause, but he smiled in acquiescence. “Very well. For your sake.”

That seemed to please her. “You can’t take care of anyone if you don’t take care of yourself. And aren’t you the one who said no one is infallible? Do you really think you’re fully functional without sleep?”

He sighed. “I suppose not.”

“And take breaks. Your work will still be there when you get back. Listen to Alphys and your assistants!”

Another sigh, not in annoyance but in defeat. “As you wish. But… what we are working on is bigger than any of us. It is crucial that I not lose focus.”

“Then take care of yourself so you can sustain that focus.” She poked him in the chest with her tail for emphasis.

Gaster nodded slowly. “I… I will do better. But I may not be available next week. I have not forgotten about meeting your friends the following week, but in order to do that, I may not be able to see you before then.”

Asteri was disappointed, yes, but it felt much better to hear it from him now than to find out at the last minute. “Okay.” She gave him a little smile. “Thank you for telling me.”

A small nod, eyes not quite on hers. “I should go.”

“I agree. Make sure you eat.”

“Ah, right…”

He made to step closer, but hesitated. “I do want to finish our conversation about fonts. Last week was… truthfully, the lightest I have felt in a long time.” His expression grew troubled, and he looked at his feet. “But I just can’t justify taking a day off when this could affect everyone in the underground—”

She stepped toward him and draped her tail around his shoulders with a bittersweet smile. “I understand. Just take care of yourself, okay? And I’ll see you when I see you. We’re— We’re still friends.”

His hands gripped her shoulders, just lightly, and she felt the fabric of his fingerless gloves catch on her wing. His eyes searched hers like he was trying to fight something, like there was something else he wanted to say. Instead, he smiled in the same sort of bittersweet way and nodded once in acceptance. Asteri tugged him down, and they bumped their heads together.

“𝐢- 𝐢 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐒-𝐒𝐄𝐄 𝐘𝐘𝐨𝐔 𝐒𝐨𝐨𝐍, 𝐚-𝐚𝐒𝐭𝐄𝐑𝐢.”

It sounded like he was trying to promise.

Her smile brightened. “Be safe at work, Wingdings.”

———

:)

I eagerly await your comments and… speculations

(Replies as comments are always welcome! It doesn’t have to be tags!)

[henrycangelbaby]

In which: This is not going well. He remembers what Y/N said—that he enjoyed scratches behind his ears, although he's pretty sure she had referred to them as "scratchies.”

or

Logan has to learn to get along with the newest family member.

Logan isn’t always resistant to change; in fact, he would do about anything for his lover, for his Y/N. He spends most of his nights watching the garbage TV of the modern family that she loves, and he even let her get pink tiles in the bathroom when they moved in together, but this might be too far.

He knows something’s up as soon as he walks through the door. Y/N usually comes running to greet him with a sweet kiss, or if not, he can usually hear her stomping around upstairs doing God knows what. But today, he doesn't hear anything immediately when he opens the door, and Y/N certainly isn't there to greet him.

As he steps further into the house, he tries to pick up on any sounds. Is that water running? It's a little early for Lovie to be having her nighttime shower, but perhaps a change in routine was called for. As he approached the sound, he realized that it wasn’t the shower; in fact, it was the sink in the bathroom. He could see her back facing him as she hunched over the sink, muttering to herself.

“Y/N?”

She quickly jumped at the unexpected sound, splashing water before turning around.

“Hey, love.”

He quirked an eyebrow. She sounded rather guilty.

“Is everything okay, baby?” he asked, peering over her shoulder to try and get a glimpse of what she was doing.

“Yeah, everything—”

He cut her off before she could finish. “Is that a cat?”

In the sink that he was standing in front of, he swore for just a second that he could see a sopping wet cat shivering in the middle of it. She finally relented quickly, turning around to pick up the tiny thing and pulling it tight into her chest, causing her shirt to quickly be soaked with soap and water.

“Actually, no, Lo, it’s a kitten,” she continued quickly, “and his name is Squish, thank you.”

“Baby, why the fuck do you have a kitten?”

He could be mad; she looked so cute standing there holding the tiny thing close to her, just like a protective mother.

“I found him, and he was all alone. He looked so sad; I couldn't just leave him there, Lo.”

Okay, he definitely wasn’t mad; how could he be when his baby had been doing something so sweet and loving? He hummed.

“So his name is Squish?”

Y/N lit up instantly. “Yes! Isn’t he the cutest?”

He nodded vaguely along, checking out the kitten closely. It was pretty cute, with white and red fur and big round eyes that peered up at him longingly. He was a little hesitant to reach out and pet ‘Squish’ just yet, but perhaps admitting his cuteness was the first step to that. He shook his head gently when Y/N offered for him to hold the kitten; that was definitely a while in the future.

The start of their relationship was rocky; Squish truly was very cute and made his baby very happy, but the kitten hadn't exactly taken a keen liking to Logan. Perhaps this cat was super smart or something, but he felt like the cat could tell something was up, could tell that he wasn't entirely normal. And listen, it wasn't entirely unjust; he had caught Logan whipping his claws out once completely on accident, but he had felt so guilty for scaring the little guy that he had fed him for a week just to win his trust back.

But it wasn’t just that; whenever Y/N wasn't around, Squish was, well, rather cold towards him. Perhaps it was rather silly of him to read into the emotions and feelings of an actual cat, but he felt that he should be closer to the thing. They did have quite a bit in common, more than he was willing to admit, much to his dismay. But no matter their common ability to ruin furniture, he couldn't quite understand the thing. It wouldn't matter if it was anything else, but this little kitty meant so much to his lover that he felt rather guilty about their mutual distaste for each other.

It goes on like this for a little while; they tiptoe and walk on four legs around each other for a little while, Logan embarrassingly unsure how to handle the little cat except for feeding it every day in hopes of it taking more of a liking to him. Things do not change for weeks.

Y/N has to go out of town for a few nights; she promises to call him every night (after teaching him his way around FaceTime) and makes sure he has Squish’s routine down pat. She leaves early in the morning, giving him a quick kiss on the lips and a somewhat crushing hug before she does the same for their cat and leaves out the door.

And suddenly they are alone together. He feels like a deadbeat father, unsure how to handle hanging out with his kid. Feeding it and then leaving it to its own devices. However, he finds himself rather lonely; of course, he finds things to do. He sees some friends, fixes the broken shelf in the bedroom, and considers what color he should consider painting the bathroom. He finds himself a little lonely; he is the only human in the house, and the only other creature seems to be avoiding him if it's not dinner time.

On day three of Y/N's absence (not that he's counting), he sits alone on the couch. He has eaten a rather pathetic dinner and now sits watching an episode of Modern Family on basically zero volume. The little guy comes trotting into the room. Despite the cat being about the same size as his hand, he can hear its little paws clicking on the ground, or perhaps he is more in tune with his supersense than he thinks.

Squish jumps up, settling onto the opposite end of the couch to Logan. He reaches out to pat Squish, but he gets quickly rejected as the cat shakes off his pat before turning around. This is not going well. He remembers what Y/N said—that he enjoyed scratches behind his ears, although he's pretty sure she had referred to them as "scratchies.”

Fuck it, it was time for him to give Squish some scratchies. He reached out and carefully patted the cat behind the ears. The little guy quickly leaned his head into Logan's hands, rubbing against them with what he could swear was a small smile. Squish moved closer to him, placing his furry head on Logan's thigh. This was nice.

He had opened the floodgates, and now there seemed to be no stopping them. Squish went everywhere that he went, always following Logan around, running around at his feet. He had also taken to sleeping in the bed with Logan. Logan was rather obsessed with having the little thing sleeping on his bicep or chest. Squish had taken residence on his thighs during their now shared TV time and had taken to meowing outside the bathroom when he spent too long in the shower thinking about his Y/N (Squish had ruined his pace at least once with the meowing, but Logan had quickly forgiven him, scared that he had traumatized the kitten again).

In all his excitement, he hadn't told Y/N about this new development in his relationship with her baby. Of course, he had been texting her more often than not—all they had been saying was “I miss you” and “I love you more,” and their phone calls had often consisted of too much talking.

After what seemed to be a lifetime, Y/N came home. She had texted him that morning letting him know her estimated arrival time, but he had jumped to his feet when he had heard her car pull up in the driveway, quickly swooping up Squish in his left arm before rushing to pull the door open. He grinned at her.

“Hey, baby.”

“Hey, Lo,” she replied before he pulled her into his arms, hugging her close to his chest. He kissed her on the head.

“I missed you."

"I missed you too, love.”

He shut the door behind her as she turned to face him and gasped in surprise.

“My baby!” she somewhat squealed in excitement, and she reached for the kitten, pulling him into her chest and kissing him multiple times on the head.

“I see you are getting along well,” she grinned at Logan. He felt his cheeks heat up.

“Yeah, we've been hanging out,” he shrugged.

She reached up for his collar and pushed their lips together. He smiled into the kiss. God, he loved his Y/N (and their Squish).

Squish’s clinginess towards him tampered down once his mommy was home. The kitten still sleeps in the bed with them and often rests himself on Logan's thigh, but he has stopped following Logan around wherever he goes. Y/N has definitely noticed their newly formed bond; she often catches them snuggled together when she gets up to pee in the middle of the night and has to stop herself from cooing every time Logan picks him up, dwarfing the little guy in his big hands.

Late one night, Y/N is in the shower, and Logan finds himself alone with the cat. He picks up Squish, pulling him next to his face and kissing the small guy.

“My baby,” he mutters. “My baby, tiny baby,” he utters quietly, gently kissing the kitten on the head.

God, he was down bad.

[faintjellyfish]

𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐔$$𝐘 𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑 ꨄ

❥ infamous sorcerer killer? nah. infamous pussy eater.

𝐚/𝐧: 18+ mdni, not proof read, enjoy 🤭

𝐰𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐧𝐭: about 904?

Thinking about how much Toji would enjoy eating pussy. So much that his title should be changed from ‘the infamous “Sorcerer Killer”’ to the infamous pussy eater. Not like he would mind anyway. It was something he enjoyed. Highly. Whether it be for you or for him. It was the way he went about it.

Sometimes he did it during sex. Or when he was stressed and wanted you to spread out for him. And sometimes he used it as punishment if you were being a little too bratty for his liking. Holding your thighs apart and lapping at your sopping cunt, but refusing to let you cum. And if you did get the chance to, he wouldn’t stop. No matter how much you begged and pleaded, saying you were overstimulated. He didn’t care. He wasn’t finished until he was satisfied. He’d say something like—

“Not stopping til’ I want to, pretty girl”

“Stop whining and let me finish”

But something you did love, was when he’d have your face down and ass in the air so he could eat it from the back. He loved eating you that way. Hell, love is an understatement. You could always tell when he wanted to.

“Put that pretty ass up f’me”

“Get on all fours”

“Raise those hips”

No questions asked, you’d always comply. He’d get behind you and admire how pretty your pussy was. How small and delicate your hole looked, just waiting to be licked and fucked with his tongue. He always loved how you’d get wet so easily for him.

“Shiiit, baby… So wet for for me already?” He’d say with a slight chuckle.

Toji spreads your ass with his thumbs, holding you in a firm grip. He always started with that sensitive clit of yours. Giving it kisses and letting your wetness string from his lips. Occasionally teasing it with small cat licks. Doing rings around it with his tongue and smirking at the small whines of pleasure you’d make.

He’d run his tongue up and down your cunt, coating his tongue in your slick. The taste drove him crazy. You tasted so fucking good. So sweet. He couldn’t help himself. Immediately his tongue would dig into your dripping, tight hole. Oh, the cries you’d let out.

He got a thrill from it. You letting him fuck you like this so easily. Plunging his muscle in and out of you with slight aggression. Hearing the wet noises your cunt made against his tongue.

Toji’s hand strikes down on your ass, making you mewl. Now this, was his favorite part about eating you from this position. Being able to hear you cry because you couldn’t handle the feeling of being ate and having your ass abused at the same time. God, he loved watching that pretty ass turn red. Repeatedly slapping his hand on it, then gently kneading at the flesh.

You’d beg him not to slap so hard. But that just made him want to smack your ass even harder. All while he pumps his tongue in and out of your poor, aching cunt. Clenching around him at the euphoria.

He’s lapping up your slick and spitting it back on your pussy before he starts sucking your clit again. Laughing into your flesh cause of how sensitive you are. Only for his hums to send vibrations to your puffed nub and make you whine even more.

It’s getting hot. You’re panting like a dog and biting back moans. But Toji doesn’t like when you hold back. So he completely buries his face in your pussy and toys with your hole. You push your face in the pillow, a deep moan escaping your throat.

“There we go, baby. That’s what I wanna hear”

“Keep making those pretty sounds f’me”

There’s only so much his poor baby can take. You’re starting to get close. And he knows it. Your poor pussy just aching and throbbing, about to release. Hips bucking and pushing up against his face, feeling his tongue dig deeper into you. Another strike lands on your ass. You weep and moan. Telling him not to stop cause you’re gonna cum.

Repeatedly, and needily, pressing your cunt against his face. He spreads your ass further and stiffens his muscle as you do so. Before you know it, you’re grasping at the sheets for something to hold on to. Clenching hard on his tongue once you release.

Mewling as your eyes flutter and slowly keep pressing against his face to ride out your orgasm. Your juices dribbling down his chin. Of course, he laps it up. Drinking all of you, not wanting it to go to waste.

He pulls his face from your cunt and smirks down at you. Seeing the haze in your eyes as you look at him over your shoulder. His hand finds its way back to your ass, massaging it gently. He leans over you.

“Love the way you tasted, princess”

“Tired?”

You’d give a weak nod. Starting to lay on the bed fully. But before you can, he grips your hips tightly.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“You did pretty good, but I think you can do better”

He sits next to you on the bed. Laying down and pulling you onto his lap. You already know what’s gonna happen.

“You’re not gonna cum til’ I tell you to. And this time… You’re gonna sit on my face.”

[scruus]

afab childe crying just by looking at the bulge on his stomach as you thoroughly fuck him shsjshj

poor harbinger sobs when you pump his womb full of cum for the nth time of the night, and he can't help but watch as your fluid trails out of his cunt, down his thighs and down on the floor...

going crazy

I had to write an entire fic for this. Its too good.

YOU ALL ARE MAKING ME LOSE SLEEP ON THIS OH GOD. Minors istg DNI or ill bite your head off.

★̶̲ [ 𝐰𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐦𝐞 ]

✎ sub afab childe + dom amab reader notes: rough filthy sex; mirror sex; creampie; cum inflation(?); overstimulation; childe being a masochistic son of a bitch(hinted). THIS IS PLAIN FILTHY JUST GHHH STOP I CANT BE SO HORNY ANYMORE

Childe groans when he sees his gaping cunt take you in so well. His teary eyes are half lidded as you try to make him look in the mirror. Make him look at how your dick makes a bulge everytime you move in and out. “S-stop uughh”, he groans out.

You hook his legs apart, him seated on your dick, because his legs have barely the ability to do anything voluntarily. He feels so small in front of you. With the way you are gripping his face and spreading his gummy cum filled cunt apart, it makes him shudder.

“See baby, i think one more dick could easily fit inside you”, you whisper against his ears as you rock your hips again, making that cock of yours reach so deep he could never imagine it was possible. “If i had two dicks….imagine how pretty your belly would look?”, childe moans loudly at the thought, nails digging in your arms. You have made him absolutely pathetic.

You smack your hand against his clit making him jolt, a striking pain going up his pussy. He smiles deliriously, taking in that pain like a good painslut.

Pushing him down, you hold his waist tightly so that there is ease in sliding in him and fucking that cunt senselessly. Childe tries to look up with his dazed eyes and stares at the mirror in front of you both. He can see his back arched like a cat, and your devilish grin while you grope his bruised ass.

Childe screams as you start pounding into him again, the cum acting as a lube and making it easier for your huge dick to move in and out. You groan feeling his cushy fat lips enveloping your dick and his warm cum filled insides pulsing around it. Its the best feeling in the word.

“Oough-n-no s’rough nghh”, he claws on the bedsheets which were stained with his tears and cum. His sobs only further fuelling your desire while you trail kisses down his spine.

His pussy hurts so bad, his clit is all puffy and numb, evident of your abuse on it, yet he still cant be fulfilled. He wants it to hurt like hell. He wants his womb to be filled to the brink, wants you to impregnate him so that all your attention is on him.

Then he wouldn’t need to act like a brat or an attention whore every single minute of the day.

You take both of his arms and pin it to his back, trying to drill into him using them as a leverage. You moan out seeing how his red, scarred ass shakes up and down everytime you slap your hips against his like a feral animal.

Taking your dick all out and then plunging it all in in every thrust, he chokes out whorish cries. You were splitting him open mercilessly and he could just moan and take your entire cock in like a fucking cocksleeve.

Guttural moans and whimpers can be heard from childe as his entire body is being treated like a ragdoll. “Ah fuck my pretty cumslut is being so good today”, you laugh out knowing he loves being called that.

His wrist is now bruising because of your tight grip on them, just like his hips and the rest of his body. Your tip is kissing his womb, balls slapping against his wet sopping cunt.

Pearls of slick dripping down his thighs, as you see your cock disappear in him and appear again. His hips are trembling with shock, trying to keep up with your rough pace. Ah fuck he is so lewd, you think.

He can hardly keep conscious. You have cum so many times in him, he could barely keep it all inside. Poor pup doesn’t want even a bit of your cum to leak out, he wants to savor it all in. But not to worry, you dont plan on stopping soon anytime.

“Fuck, you’re squeezing down on me again, ugh am gonna cum”, you rasp out, your hips picking up pace as you pounded into him with such intensity, childe could see stars in his eyes.

“Ooughh fuckfuckfuckfuck ugh cu-cummin”, his eyes rolling in his skull and his whorish moans getting desperately loud. He could only blabber nonsensically as his voice was nothing but squeaks. And just like that, you came with him.

Drops of water spraying all over the bedsheet while the trembling ginger spasms in your arms, his toes curling and his mouth open in a silent scream. He had squirted once again tonight.

You shut your eyes, his pussy creaming around your cock as his cunt is sucking you further in, and you groan out.

You let go of his arms and his weak body plops on the bed. Taking your dick out you saw the gooey filthy cum drip out of his hole in massive amounts, he was really filled to the brim. He whined on feeling the loss of your cock and the warm cum oozing out.

Your fingers spreading apart his lips and see the sticky cum coating his pretty pink folds and the inside of his gaping hole. You were quite big, after all.

Placing a kiss on his shuddering ass cheeks, you softly kneaded it. “Don’t worry baby, ill take care of you after i wreck you”.

Flipping him on his back, you grabbed his hips and entered inside him in a single thrust, choking out a hoarse moan from childe. “But am not done wrecking you yet”, you huff before pounding into him again as childe continues to scream your name.

Looks like you both have to take the next day off.

[forkloverr]

i started catching up on mha again bc im tired of getting spoiled💔 MEANING DABI BRAIN ROT HAS RETURNED MWAHAHJA

i came up with this random scenario. something like reader getting cut, idk by what, tho. some kind of accident. and dabi takes care of her wound. maybe he says something along the lines of "u have to get used to ur scars." IDK THIS WAS JUST A SHOWER THOUGHT😭😭 I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS A CUTE LITTLE SOMETHING SOMETHING

'you drew stars around my scars' - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

warnings: mention of severe injury, fluff, names such as 'sweetheart' are used, dabi is probably a bit ooc but let a girl have her dreams LOL word count: 2,407

Rain swallowed your aching body. How long have you been running now? No, there was time to look behind, just run, run. The grey folder in your hand threatened to melt into sopping nonsense, once important intel now no longer legible. How sloppy had you been? You did everything you were supposed to, but one mistake, just one dire mistake, had led you to be running from the cops. How embarrassing you thought. Now the league is really going to doubt your abilities as a valuable member. They chose you to retrieve new information about the heroes, and now here you are. Scratch that. Focus on the now. That doesn't matter if you’re caught, or dead. The muscles in your legs pull and strain, pushing again and again and again until fire spreads all over your nerves. Maybe it's just the adrenaline, but you were sure you would have already fallen apart by now, pieces to the ground like a broken puzzle.

Crap. The rain turned into an intense downpour, practically draping the world in a dark grey blanket. You’re barely able to see what's in front of you, everything is a blur of rain and wind. Where was that street again? Maybe you already passed the hideout, or maybe- A bloodcurdling scream escapes your shaking lips, you trip and fall to the soaking ground, the impact harsh and rough. You feel hot rain running down your leg, but why is it red? Blood. Its blood. You’re used to that. But that's not someone else's blood. It’s yours.

All you see is a river of yourself pouring out but you can't stop. Not yet. Must keep running- You stop to look at what caused this, and it’s a piercing metal fence post you had failed to see. You try and lift yourself up to continue running, but your head pounds with excruciating pain. Running isn't an option anymore. Are they still behind you? You have to get back, you have to. You’re especially vulnerable now. Screeching pain escapes with every limp as you attempt to continue. How could someone as careful as you not only be caught but then also injured? Stupid mistake. You struggle on the slick road, grabbing onto anything you can for support. Then, you see an opening between the buildings, an alleyway. That's good. Maybe you can sit and recover until this all passes over. You start to approach the alleyway, but the closer you get, the more intensely humid it feels. The closer you get, the more… blue.. it glows. Right as you get to the entryway, a leather-coated arm snaps under your arms, grabbing you like a wet cat into the darkness.

“You're bleeding, you know.” A deep voice whispers in your ear. Huh, why is that idiotic tone familiar to you? “Are you an angel?” You squint your eyes, delusion and pain overriding your common sense. Only a dry laugh in return. ‘Far from it, sweetheart.” You slowly move your eyes to his face to discern whether or not you should punch this “stranger” for harassment. You start to piece together the blobs of purple, silver, and black appearing before you. Then it all makes sense. “Oh my god. Dabi what the heck.” A stupid cocky smirk is painted all over Dabi’s lips. He sets you down, moving his hands to rest on your shoulders to keep you from attempting to move, pulses of pain still moving through your body.

You and Dabi had a weird relationship. You both entered the League around the same time, but that was about the only thing you had in common with the man. He was a complete enigma. He was overly confident, sarcastic, petty, and almost childish. But for some reason, it felt as if he has a soft spot for you. He doesn’t treat you too differently than the others, but with Dabi, even the smallest of details matter. Everyone knows how reserved he is with his feelings. So when he does act ‘out of character,’ you notice. “Saw you needed help, quite the escape you made.” You reply with an annoyed growl, not appreciating the situation you’re currently in. Your brain then takes a moment to fully process his words. “Wait, how did you know I needed help? Unless you… YOU FOLLOWED ME?!?” A quick scoff. “Can a guy not have a hobby nowadays?” He teases. He continues, “Nah, I just-”

“You were worried about me, weren't you?” Surely he wasn’t actually, you were merely teasing him back. But something in his gaze shifts, for just a moment he moves his eyes to the side, avoiding yours. Odd. “I'm offended that you would insinuate that I feel anything more about you than you just simply being my ‘coworker’.” He rebukes. “If my legs worked, I would kick you so hard right now.” You seethe, squirming around in his tight grip. “I bet you would, sweetheart.” He gently puts you down and drops one hand to graze your injury. A sharp hiss escapes from behind your teeth. This is all just so amusing to him, isn't it? “Well, what are you going to do with me? Torment me some more? Tell me how stupid I am?” God, he’s so close you can practically taste his cologne. Messy staples shape into a grin, the kind of dirt-eating pearly grin that ticks you off every time he dares to show it. “Turn you in.” “WHAT.”

He cracked himself up, cynical laughter echoing through the alley. “Calm your pretty self down, I'm going to take you back to the league. Looks like you got yourself a pretty deep wound.” “Wait what did you say-” “No time for chit-chat.” He swoops you up bridal style. Normally he’d throw you on his shoulder like a bag of potatoes- however, he doesn't want to risk making your injury worse. Or that's at least the excuse he’ll dig up if he’s questioned. Entering back into the unpleasant rain is not a feeling you missed. Despite having a fire quirk, Dabi’s body is surprisingly cold. So that just made it worse. But for some reason, your own body temperature has risen by quite a bit. And actually, now that you think of it, your heart is still going 90 miles per hour. Weird. Must be the remaining adrenaline. Your body shifts to try to relax, feeling weightless floating amidst the smooth fall of the rain. You start to feel a bit too relaxed. Once panicked breaths now turn into rhythmic ins-and-outs, almost in sync with the same rhythm of Dabi’s.

---

The next thing you remember is a strange poking sensation on your cheek. Frankly, it's quite annoying. “Mmm…. what do you want.” You peak open your tired eyes to see Dabi struggling to wake you up. “We’re here. Don't make me drop you.” Where exactly is ‘here’? This doesn't look like any part of the league’s hideout you’re familiar with. Must be Dabi’s room, you reason. Dabi then walks over and hovers over his bed, setting your back to be up against his pillow. “Stay there.” He grumbles, his footsteps trailing to the other side of the room. The deep thumping of your heart returns. 

You know Dabi, but you don't know him. He likes to keep things hidden, that's for sure. Motives, feelings, his past. How much can you truly say you know about his character? All of that makes your head pound, can you trust him enough to be in a room with him, alone? Maybe he’s looking for an easy kill, you would never have a chance at escaping. You’ve become a fly caught in a charming fly-trap. Maybe that explains his strange placement of attention on you, scouting you out for the perfect opportunity to remove you. Your thinking stops when Dabi turns back holding a white box. He stops at the side of the bed, pausing and opens his mouth like he was going to ask if you mind about him sitting next to you. Of course he was going to anyway regardless of your reply. No need to waste the words. The mattress dips as he positions himself to be close to your injured leg. Your nerves shifted from being on fire to those of fear. Your eyes shakingly move up to Dabi’s, searching for any expression of enjoyment or even anticipation of his new kill. All you get in return is a stern yet calm look from Dabi. “You look scared.” He grumbles. “Do I… Do I scare you?” His voice is low and gentle.

For a second, the intimidating man in front of you reminds you of a small child. You’ve never seen or heard Dabi like this. Even if it really is the bare minimum of emotion, it almost makes you feel guilty for questioning his motives, even if it was rightfully valid. You shake your head no. It's not a complete lie, maybe this tightness in your chest is something other than fear, something you haven’t felt in a while. A suppressed tidal wave of emotion that had always been pushed to the background. Nevermind that. “...Good.” He sets the white box down, carefully opening to lid to reveal what's hidden inside. Bandages, disinfectant, cotton balls, and more are organized into little sections in the box. It’s a first aid kit, although more suitable for severe injuries. Almost like he can read your mind, he breaks the silence.

“I always keep one in here. I have my.. fair share… of injuries.” Dabi lowers his gaze. Part of you realized that those scars aren't just a scary villain facade. No, it was something Dabi was ashamed of, a bad memory forever etched into every crevice of his skin. “I’m sorry.” You croak. Dabi ignores the apology, it's not your fault after all. It’s daily life to him now, a new normal. And it has been ever since that night. But you didn’t need to know that, no one did. This was the real and raw Dabi, even if the name “Dabi” is also a false pretense. “Well, how bad is it?” You nervously ask. Dabi sucks the air through his teeth. “It’s a pretty deep wound, probably will leave a scar.” Immediately you recoil. Not that looks are all that matter, but having a giant deep scar on your leg for the rest of your life is pretty jarring. Especially a scar earned in such an idiotic way. Every day after this will be a constant reminder of your stupidity every time you look at yourself in the mirror. Dabi can sense your muscles tense up. He places a hand on your good leg and looks up at you. He opens his mouth to speak before hesitating,

“You.. you have to get used to your scars.” A melancholic expression is painted on his face. You can tell he really means it. His hand then hovers above your leg with the antiseptic and a cloth from the kit. He pauses again. “I’m just going to be honest with you, this is going to hurt real bad.” “This is just how I wanted to spend my night.” You sigh, trying to hide how much you were dreading the next minute. Dabi takes a moment to reply. “Uh.. not trying to make it weird or anything, but are you ok with me touching you?” Dabi tenses slightly out of embarrassment. Why is he acting so weird? you wonder. Dabi is all about barking orders and never stopping to ask anything. So what if it’s going to bring you pain? Doesn’t affect Dabi. So why should he care so much to even ask? 

“Oh, I don't mind, I feel like you know what you're doing.” You shift slightly in anticipation. He grunts an ‘ok’. Lowering his head back to the bloody gash before him. Immediately after he pours the liquid on your injury you clench your jaw and hold on for dear life on the bed. Muffled curses hide behind your lips as you resist completely losing your cool. You can take this, you’re a grown adult, right? Dabi amusingly looks at your face, chuckling to himself. “You look really funny right now.” Through gritted teeth you grunt, “At least have some compassion!” Dabi then cleans up the wound with the rag, for such a rough-looking individual his touch is rather soft and gentle. He gingerly presses on your wound, working all the way around it. He turns back to the kit and gets out a roll of white bandage. “Lift your leg up.”

You try your best to follow his orders, but your muscles are stiff and are screaming in pain. Dabi sees your straining expression and lets out a sigh. “Stop. I’ll do it.” In quite the coy manner, Dabi slips one hand under your thigh, and moves the other to be by your knee. You feel the heat rising to your cheeks, a dusting of pink. He then begins to lift your thigh up and bends your knee until your leg is a triangular arch. Dabi unwraps the bandage with his teeth, then secures one side under your thigh to begin wrapping your leg. Holding the beginning of the bandage, Dabi carefully covers the entire wound, making sure the bandage has a secure grip on your skin, but not tight enough to hurt you. Surprisingly enough, Dabi wasn't done. He opens his black leather jacket to dig in one of the inner pockets and retrieves a hot pink Hello Kitty band-aid. You can't help but stupidly grin. “Dabi, why do you of all people have a Hello Kitty band-aid in your jacket.” Dabi returns your smile. “Toga.” One name explains it all. Toga had a habit of gifting cute things to the league. Because everything is “so bland here.”

He unwraps the bandaid and places it in the center of the bandage. “Thought you’d like it. More than me anyways.” He coughed. “Who knew the elaborate Dabi was such a softie.” You giggle, shifting around to sit next to him on the bed. “Hey, Dabi?” “Mm.” “Thank you..” Dabi turns to look at you, then stoops down and softly kisses the spot where the band-aid was. You can feel your stomach tickle with butterflies. “W-what was that for?!” You gasp, feeling your heart practically jumping out of your ribcage. He smirks. “What, you’ve never heard the expression ‘kiss it to make it better?’”

[wroteclassicaly]

A/N: We’re blaming Joe for always acting up, and Steve for whining that I cheated on him, so he sent me mega inspiration for this one ☺️😛

Warnings: Language, overall NSFW, sub!Steve to the extreme, spit play, rough sex, leaving marks, cowgirl goes riding position, possessiveness, friends with benefits, best-friend!Steve, mentions scars, consensual smacking (m receiving), finger sucking, e.t.c. This is just no plot with some trash and love poured in ;)

You love it.. Just like this. His baby blue curtains blowing, whipped around by evening’s up and coming Autumn breeze, hints of salty summer trickling through, remaining, a few apple and cedarwood candles mingling with your perfume, Steve’s cologne, and the heavy scent of sopping wet sex. You’ve got a low lamplight to guide your two person show, in your element, unafraid, owning it, protecting him, taking for you. Some song rolls on his record player, one you often prefer over the stereo when you get into these types of moods. His body is your map and you’re the Queen explorer, pleasuring yourself with each and every treasure that he has to offer.

The black gloss of a fresh manicure stares back up at you from where you’re clawing into his hairy chest, chestnut tufts matted down by perspiration and your drying salvia. Okay, so you’d gone a little crazy when you marked him, but it’s not your fault that the little gold chain he wears looks so good laying against his golden baked skin, begging for contrasting shades of magentas and navy blues. You’d done one of Steve’s favorite things, after all: healing his scars by using your mouth to carefully taste each one, every single time. He didn’t have much time to worry about them, because there you’d be, understanding, helping. He whines loudly, a sound that causes you to clench around him, making you struggle to retain your control.

Your bouncing on his thick cock ceases, that creamy squish causing a wet ring to circle his base and smear across his navel. Holy fuck, you’re really wet tonight…

And Steve, god love him. He can’t even look. Mossy eyes blown black, his eyes have rolled up and are caught between clenching shut and closing entirely. Your hand leaves his chest and cracks across his stubble littered jaw, nails pinching in to jerk his gaze towards you. He throbs, jumps inside your walls, that sucks him in deeper.

“Wake up, Harrington! Am I boring you?”

He shakes his head so fast that you bury a snort deep within, humming out instead. “You gonna talk to her again? Look at her again?”

The start of your possessive streak being upped tonight. In the downtown costume store, Bambi Anderson had found Steve with a fascination that gagged, modeling her cat costume and practically draping herself across his arm to ask what his plans were. And he’d crossed his arms beneath that black, vee neck long sleeve, chest hair and chain on display, dark jeans tight and leaving nothing to the imagination, secured by a black belt with a thick silver buckle. He’d worn new black boots, a differing choice for his growing style. A leather jacket was tossed lazily over his shoulder, pissing you off.

When you’d left the store, Steve had taken you back to his. And well, you’d taken him. On your knees against his front door to get him hard, quick enough to have your way with him. You didn’t want fingers or mouth, you needed to show him who belonged inside of.

“No, fuck no —“ Steve stops himself, choking on spit, inhaling and exhaling sharply. “Fuck, I don’t even remember what happened, honey.”

“Walking around teasing me like you do. Wearing tight jeans, smelling like a fucking male model ad, licking your mouth when you put tapes away. And that chain? I mean… showing it with your chest hair, Steve? Jesus Christ… You really do need to be watched at all times.”

He’s nodding, agreeing, that aching heat builds to a wet crescendo, threatening to drench you both.

You lean down a little closer, one hand wrapping around the tendons in his wrist, the other still keeping you balanced on his chest so you can keep moving your hips, dragging his fat cockhead against that spot inside that he’s called his for years. Your mouth is hot when you pant the words by his lips. “You deserve to be sat on. Just pull your pants and underwear down, have a seat on you all day. Cockwarm you so these bitches know where you belong, who you belong to.”

“Baby —“ You’re lifting his own wrist, cutting off his sentence, pulling apart three of his own fingers and pressing them into his lips. “Fucking suck! I’m talking now. I’ll let you know when you can answer me, slut!”

His hips arch off the bed, giving a piston into you, before remembering his place and suckling his fingers onto that hot tongue that’s had you seeing stars and planets. He doesn’t break eye contact, not even as you start to move, holding his wrist there with a squeeze, leaving nail marks, only to release and take it with you, a thick line of spit stringing from his fingertips to his swollen mouth. You swipe down and lick it off, pushing his arms up beside his hand and interlocking fingers. You shift and he pulls, every part of him tugging on your overworked cunt, sore and throbbing. He’s way more than a damned stretch.

“Where’s your fucking lube?” Your vocal language continues to fly free as you raise your hips a little and he struggles to tap beside him on the sheets, eyes glazed over and glossy. Fuck, is his lash line wet? Is he actually crying? His hair is a tousled and damp mess. He’s never been more beautiful, more sacred to you.

You crack open the bottle and let it drizzle onto the part of his cock that’s slid out of you, spreading it around on your own cunt and discarding. You sink back down with an overly squelching echo. “You and this fucking python, Steve. It’s the true monster of Hawkins, isn’t it? This fat cock, always splitting me wide open.”

He vibrates. You’ve never felt him pulse that hard in you, nearly triggering your orgasm. Shattering it apart, fragmenting. Your eyes widen. “If you fucking come, I’ll keep riding you until you’re screaming.”

You break that briefly, raising a brow to check in with him through this, soft and compliant to his needs, because you want nothing more than to fuck him stupid and care for him forever, despite your dizzying haze. He nods, in synch with you. Good to go.

You bend yourself down, hands sliding up and through his chest hair, tugging on his chain, nipples hardening as they brush over, pressing, the fat of your tits squishing when you’re right against him, held. You finger-tap your way up his biceps, fingers unfolding and nails scratching, leaving his upturned palms to cup the sides of his face, nosing him. “Mine.”

And that he is…

// Eat me paragraph //

[that-irrelevant-ricecakeaddict]

Take it real slow

Hongjoong x F!reader

Author's note; I wrote this in a trance (or frenzy... whatever you wanna call it) after watching this edit (plz watch it.)

CW: smut smutsmutsmutsmut

"N-ngh, oh god, Y/N..." Hongjoong groaned into your neck as he lazily rolled his hips into yours. You squeezed your eyes shut at the sensation, revelling in the feeling. Your lover had been teasing you for hours on end, and calling you impatient would've been an understatement; you were desperate and down bad for whatever he would give you. And "whatever he would give", in this case, was him sinking and pulling his cock out of you at the slowest, most torturous pace you could ever imagine.

You threw your head back when Hongjoong drove his dick against a particularly deep spot in you. A wanton moan tore from your throat as black spots dotted your vision. A whimper followed when he pulled out, the emptiness in your sopping hole coming fast. Too fast.

"J-joongie, please~"

He lifted his head from your shoulder at the sound of the cute nickname you'd given him. A stark contrast to the sinful happenings that the two of you were partaking in. Hongjoong couldn't help but chuckle at the look on your face. Although he could only see your side profile, the way your eyes glazed over and your tongue stuck out the side of your mouth said so, so much about what he was doing to you.

"M-mhmn, baby? Whaddya need?"

The man had to bite back a moan as he tried to keep his cool while having his twitching dick halfway in your warm, wet cunt. Even though he was in an equally, if not more, vulnerable state, he would never miss the chance to take charge of you in bed. He hissed when you babbled incoherently.

"Hey, words. Or are you too fucked out to answer?"

He punctuated the last word with a sharp thrust of his hips, making you cry out loud. His signature Cheshire cat grin tugged at the corner of his glossy lips as he witnessed how you trembled and fell apart in his arms. Until you snaked a hand to his nape to tug at the overgrown brown locks.

"Shi- ahhnh~"

This elicited a pathetic moan from your usually stoic, dominant boyfriend. He flushed out of what seemed like embarrassment, but his growing cock in you said he felt otherwise.

You took this opportunity to anchor your hand in his tousled locks, and slowly roll your hips upwards against him, effectively fucking yourself on his dick. Your breathing grew erratic as you fought the urge to go feral and unrelentlessly fast. It was torture for you, too, but the idea of your boyfriend getting his comeuppance was too good to not come true.

It was your turn to tease him now.

Hongjoong was at your mercy. He could do nothing but bitch and whine about how slow you were going. Your addicting warmth slowly enveloping him, and disappearing so fast that he could barely enjoy it for too long. You chuckled shakily when he started to tear up and paw at your hips.

"What happened to wanting to t-take it slow, Joongie?"

Another tug at his hair, another whiny "a-ah Y/N~!" from him gracing your ears. He grinded his hips into yours at the same time, making you huff in concentration. Clearly, he wasn't ready to give up the fight yet.

It was gonna be a long night.

"Leslie it's 1 in the fucking morning get out of my dms" -my best friend after I went on a rant abt how down bad I was(am) for Kim hongjoong before writing this

[hanyjar]

rain sucks. (i'll make you love it.)

isagi yoichi x reader

summary: your story with isagi yoichi, told through five moments, a bus stop, and rain.

notes: [6.25k words.] idk if isagi lovers still exist, but in the wise words of taylor swift: this is me trying ;)

disclaimers: cursing, reader hates the rain and likes to talk, break up with an ex (not isagi) in part one, loneliness in 'one' and four', self doubt in 'five' but isagi is quick to comfort, fluff -> angst -> fluff, rain kisses, romantic gestures, strangers -> friends -> lovers.

edit: isagi likes rain here (as opposed to the info given in the light novel T_T so very sorry ahh)

masterlist.

ONE.

It has been a bad day.

No. That’s putting it too lightly. Today, June 20th, is the very epitome of shit.

The heated argument you had with your now ex-partner continues to linger in your mind. “I think we’ve been wasting our time” plays on loop like a broken record, and you wonder if you look as lifeless as you feel.

It’s quite a silly thing: how a single person can make you feel as if the whole world is ending. It’s even sillier how you devoted all this effort into a relationship that is nothing but a waste of time to them.

Waste of time.

Even after they crushed your already tattered heart and left it for dead, you can’t help but think how much easier it would be if you feel that way about them too.

Love is a stupid, stupid thing.

You appreciate mother nature for taking pity on you, at least. Rain in the midst of summer has never been your favourite thing - the air always being a little too hard to breathe and the dreary sky a tell-tale sign that the bus is going to be late that day. But today, you feel okay towards rain. The tears from the heavens above do well to cover up your own; the droplets become friends, accompanying you in your forlorn state. For once, you don’t complain about the broken roof at the bus stop letting rain in. For once, you find comfort in the very thing you hate.

And you cry a little bit inside, knowing that your ex has managed to break that part of you as well. 

“...Bad day?” A voice breaks you free from your stupor.

You turn to your left, and you feel your breath being taken away. 

There, a stranger stands. From first glance, the boy is nothing but ordinary. His navy - almost black - hair did little to set him apart from the rest of the crowd, and he dons the same Ichinan uniform that you (and the multitude of students in the area) wear. But there is something within his cerulean eyes. A fervour of sorts, one that is begging to be unleashed for the whole world to see. To the untrained eye, he is the very essence of average; to a trained eye, the stranger is utterly beautiful.

…Or, that’s what you would say, if he didn’t look like a wet cat. Not the ones featured in those animal shampoo commercials, but one of the sad, pathetically cute, on the verge of tears, literally sopping wet ones. Your breath is taken away, simply because the boy is a mess.

You can’t help but think that this stranger has had a shit day, too.

“Like you have no idea.” You say, voice drenched in exasperation. “Though… You look like you’ve been through a nightmare yourself.”

“A nightmare is an understatement,” he cradles his left temple with his palm. You laugh at his antics.

“Try me, then. Nothing can be worse than getting dumped, right?”

The smile on his face immediately falls, and you can’t help but feel a little bad for dropping a bomb like that to a stranger. “My god.” He exhales, “I am so sorry.” His crestfallen expression makes you feel as if he truly means those words.

“Don’t be. You didn’t know.” Your eyes look down to the soiled concrete. “I’ll be fine, time will pass, after all.” (You say that more to yourself than him, if anything.)

The bus stop is silent for a while, and you feel as if you’ve ruined everything - for the second time today. It’s almost as if the bus stop boy knows, and is eager to change that.

“Well. My name is Isagi Yoichi,” he begins. “And my soccer coach told me that I am mediocre at best; that I don’t have what it takes to do what I love professionally.”

You look into his eyes once more, and the fervour that was once there is now shrouded in a sense of agony you know all too well. The same agony that is, without a doubt, present in your eyes too. Words fail you. And for the years you have shrugged as the therapist friend, you find yourself at a genuine loss.

“...I guess we’re in the same boat then.” You muster out, lamely. “But are you seriously going to let some old geezer tell you what to do with your life? I mean, he’s literally the coach of a no-name highschool team.” Your hands make their way onto Isagi’s, clasping his in-between yours. “Your coach has no right to tell you that when he’s failed at that dream already. Don’t let your coach dictate your worth; don’t let him stop you from shining. Ever.”  

He stares at your hands for a second, eyes widened and mouth agape. You are quick to detach yourself from him. “Forgive me,” a sheepish smile grows on your face.” “I speak too much sometimes.”

“No need,” Isagi’s hand moves to rest on the nape of his neck. “Thank you. I needed to hear that today, I think.”

Isagi smiles boyishly. It suits him.

“It’s no problem.” You fiddle with the straps of your backpack, suddenly feeling bashful at his gratitude. “Adults like that? They think they rule the world, but in reality—”

The squeaking of tires interrupts you, and the bus arrives exactly eleven minutes late.

“That’s my cue,” you say, and for a second, you could swear that Isagi seems disappointed. You make your way towards the bus, head turning towards his way before you get on board. “Thanks for the chat, stranger. I’ll see you around.”

You make your way through the barren bus, the driver eyeing you up-and-down for your soaked figure. And just like that, uncertainty and dejection return in waves. Talking to Isagi was a good distraction and all, but you can’t forget that your partner of two years just fucking broke up with you. You are alone now.

You want nothing more than to sleep it all off. This feeling of loneliness is a type that you would not wish on anyone - even your worst enemy. (Well, maybe someone. Your ex, being the said someone. But you like to think that is just the anger talking.)

“Hey!” Isagi’s voice echoes out. Like a ray of sunlight breaking through the grey skies of your mind, it is his turn to make your eyes widen; his voice bypassing the sheet of glass separating you two and reaching the storm that surrounds your heart. “Don’t let that past relationship stop you from shining too, okay?”

…Perhaps, you aren’t so alone after all.

The bus sets off, and Isagi sees you smile at him through the rain-stricken window. The boy hopes that his sentiments have reached you; he hopes that you’ll follow the same advice that you’ve given him. 

But above all else, he hopes that he will see you again.

TWO.

“I hate this bus stop and its stupid roof.”

Isagi stops typing away on his phone. “You say that like, all the time nowadays.”

You’ve definitely sucked the life out of that phrase recently, but you take it as a good sign. An indication that you’ve healed.

The relationship that you once held dear is nothing but a mere memory of the past. The countless sleepless nights and time spent wallowing in your own self-doubt have all but ceased to exist. You realised that it simply was not worth your while to cry about a lost love, and to instead surround yourself with the love that remains from those around you. If anything, you are grateful for it: you have grown from that experience tremendously. By no means would you ever consider it to be a waste of time. And in the process?

You garnered a friend. A confidant. That break up led to the beginning of something magical. It led to a friendship with Isagi Yoichi, or, who you like to call, your bus-stop boy. 

After the fateful day, you started to notice his presence around more. At first it was in the halls of Ichinan, a mere wave shared between you two here and there. Then the new school year began, and Isagi was shuffled into your homeroom. You began seeing him from once in a while, to literally everyday.

His presence began to bleed more and more into yours, and your lives ended up intertwining together until there was nothing you could do to untangle them. Eventually? Isagi was your deskmate. He was cooking lunch for you, you two eating his homemade lunches together in comfortable silence. You began waiting for his soccer practice to finish, and Isagi would wait by your side at the station until the bus came. A rhythm that you two fell into, almost as easy as breathing.

In your chapter of new beginnings, there is no Isagi Yoichi without you, and there is no you without Isagi Yoichi. An inseparable duo, you two are dubbed as. 

You like to think you know a lot about him now. Maybe even go as far as to say you know everything about him, as he knows everything about you.

“It lets the rain in, Isagi.” You whine. “And besides, why is it even raining in Spring? Tsuyu* season isn’t for like, another month or two. There’s no way anyone could like this weather. No way.”

“I don’t know… I don’t mind it every now and then,” he says. “I like rain. I think it’s nice.”

Pause.

Well, maybe you don’t know everything about him.

“What? Since when?” You put your hand on your heart, gasping in mock-offence. “I didn’t know that I’m friends with a traitor.”

He rolls his eyes at you. The audacity. “A traitor, really? Just because I like a bit of rain here and there?”

“It goes deeper than that, Isagi!” You say. (It really doesn’t. You just want an excuse to complain a little, and a sassy Isagi Yoichi is always a fun sight.) “What’s there to like anyways? I don’t get it.”

“I can try to explain it for you, if you’d like.”

“Please do.”

“Have you ever seen what it looks like after it has rained?” He asks. You shake your head in response. You’ve never been the type to stick around long enough to see the sky stop crying. “You should. It’s wonderful, y’know: the glow it leaves afterwards. The streets look like they’ve been reborn - you can literally see the dirt on the concrete being washed away and given another life. If you’re lucky? A rainbow might come and say hi.” Isagi smiles at the little comment he makes.” That sight alone is worth getting your books wet and missing the bus every now and then. And it is just one of many reasons I have, honestly.”

You find yourself smiling at his enthusiasm. It’s cute, when he’s like this. You’re glad that he’s comfortable enough around you to show this side of himself. “I like it when you infodump, Isagi.”

“Did my infodump manage to change your mind?” A tinge of hope emerges in his voice and eyes. You shake your head. The hope is gone just as fast as it came. “Well, maybe the main reason will.”

He gives you a mysterious smile, and proceeds to say nothing.

“Aren’t you going to finish that sentence?”

“Nope, I don’t think I will.” Isagi says. You shoot him an incredulous look. “I’ll tell you… If you don’t fail your social studies paper.”

“Wha— Hey! Now that’s just being mean!”

He laughs. “So then… Why do you hate rain so much, anyways?”

“Changing the subject, really?” You say.

 He merely shrugs in response, giving you a teasing grin. “Just roll with it. I promise I’ll tell you,” he pauses. “One day.”

You kick his foot in response, making an impromptu game of footsies ensue.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Isagi lifts his hands up to the side of his head, surrendering in a fit of boyish laughter. “No but really, I’m curious. Why do you hate it so much?”

“I don’t really know. It’s just—“ You stick your leg out precariously, as if the rain is going to melt your foot. “I hate the rain. I always have, and probably always will.”

A lull of silence passes by - not dissimilar to the one that happened on your first meeting with him. It’s different this time, though, as it is not a silence that is born out of two strangers not quite knowing what to say. It went deeper than that, more intimate, more comforting. Isagi puts a hand on your shoulder, turning you around to face him. “Well,” he begins. “One day, I hope I can show you how beautiful rain can be.”

Isagi smiles - a pretty, pretty thing.

There, amongst the dreary skies and wet cherry blossom leaves, is sunlight.  Sunlight, in the form of him. Him, the Ichinan forward. Isagi, a boy who has nestled his way into your life almost too easily.

Yoichi, who leaves your heart hammering a bit too fast for comfort.

“Come on, you’re going to miss your bus.” Isagi’s hand finds its way to yours, locking into place like they were made for eachother. “It’s darker than usual. I’ll walk you home today, okay?”

He drags you towards your usual window seat, tapping the two matching keycards you share while entering. Isagi whispers a quick goodnight as he sits on the seat next to yours.

A smile makes its way towards your lips. Warmth filling up your entire body, entire soul. 

You adore his sleeping face; you adore him.

Wait. Adore? Uh oh, you think. I might be falling in love.

*Tsuyu: The rainy period in Japan, generally spanning from May to July. The direct translation is ‘plum rain’, because it coincides with the season that plums ripen in Japan.

THREE.

Isagi is the first one to break the silence.

It’s weird, how he called you out to the bus stop out of the blue. Meeting together here in the past was always out of necessity: one born from a desire to go home and to have a chat with your best friend to end the day on a high note. Never, is the meeting at your sanctuary intentional, like it is now.

You couldn’t help but rush to get here. Not when he texted you like that: frantic and brimming with urgency.

“Sorry for making you come all this way, especially at this time of the night.” He says, carefully. As if he is tiptoeing around eggshells. Like you are strangers again. Isagi is never this careful around you, and hasn’t been for a while now. The change of pace perpetuates fear into the depths of your soul like no other.

“It’s fine.” You tentatively look up from your lap, preferring to look at the night sky instead of his face. I’d do anything for you, when you text me like that. “It’s just… Your message; the tone you’re speaking to me in right now. You’re seriously worrying me, Isagi.”

Isagi lets out a sigh, one quivering with nerves and worry. He places a hand onto your clenched ones, rubbing comforting circles onto the dorsal side. That’s weird. You didn’t even realise you were shaking. “You know that letter from the Japan Football Association I got a few days ago? The one we were so excited about?” 

“The one I forced you to accept, right?”

“That’s the one.” He smiles fondly at the memory. The one of the two of you in his room, him being at an absolute mental blank, while you - the ever-so lovely you - was crying tears of joy - a stark contrast to the tears you shed earlier that day, watching him lose the qualifiers. You egged him to accept it, because ‘nothing would make you happier than to see him pursue his dreams’, you said. Words that sent an elation of joy to flood across his body, for he didn’t think that he could love you more. “…Well, I went to that address they gave us today. And that letter didn’t exactly tell the whole story. Of what it is, what their goal is.” Isagi continues; you feel a lump beginning to form at the back of your throat. “Yes, it’s a player improvement project. But I have to stay at this camp, I think. I don’t know how long I’ll be staying there, and I can’t contact anyone that’s not a part of it either. All I know is that it starts tomorrow. Officially.”

“What…” You muster out, at a complete loss for words.

“It’s called Blue Lock, and I’m going for it.” He places his unoccupied hand onto his chest, eyes igniting with a kindred spirit like no other. “I think this is my best shot at becoming the best. To play beyond a national level, and make you proud. But…” He pauses, pinching your chin with his index finger and thumb, forcing you to look him in the eyes for the first time in this conversation. “I won't go if you don’t want me to. I won’t, and will never do anything that you don’t like. So just say the word, and I’ll stay. Right here, right by your side.”

It hurts so damn bad. All of this, how it is so out of the blue, how there’s a possibility you may never see the boy, who has been such a pivotal aspect of your life for the last year or so, ever again. You want to be supportive - heck, you’d go to war just to see Isagi shine. But it hurts. You love him, for goodness sake. Every bone in your body wants him to stay, to not break the sacred normalcy that you have shared with the man that makes you smile brighter than anyone else can.

But the skies are clear. And the right answer, the solution to all of this, is even clearer.

“You’d have to be stupid to not go.” You say, voice unwavering with confidence. However, your eyes are anything but. “You have to go, Isagi. I don’t want to destroy your dreams like that and ruin the potential you have. I could never live with myself if I made you stay.”

Isagi kisses you on the forehead, once. “Thank you,” Twice. “Thank you, so much.” He leans his forehead against yours, and his teary ones meet your equally watery ones. “I’m going to miss you more than anything. I promise, I’m going to become number one. Just for you.”

“You better.” You chuckle, choking on a sob. “Shine brighter than anyone else, Isagi. I’ll be watching you every step of the way.”

He nods in response, and you stay like that for a while. For minutes, hours, even. Foreheads kissing each other, and staring into his cerulean eyes like it’s the last time you’ll ever see them.

“I never told you the reason, didn’t I?” Isagi breathes out.

“What?”

“The reason why I love rain as much as I do.” He says. You let out a careful no, wondering if he did tell you, and you just weren’t listening.

“It’s because,” Isagi begins, reaching for your right hand and opening it, palm facing up. “It was raining when I met you.” You feel him reach for his back pocket, and Isagi pulls out a pristine white envelope, placing it into your hand. It is sealed with red wax and decorated with golden swirls. Beautiful. Like it came right out of a fairytale. “…And you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

Your body quivers, and you feel the tears threatening to return again. “You’re so corny,” you say, half-flustered and half-shy. “And I still hate the rain.” You reach a hand up to his cheek, looking at his lips in a way that just friends don’t. “But Isagi, you. You are the best thing that’s happened to me too.”

He looks at your lips too, and you anticipate for something more - to go beyond what you two have built so beautifully. To go beyond friends, and transform into lovers.

Isagi pulls you in for a tight hug instead. You reciprocate. Those thoughts disappear as fast as they came. 

“So..” You clench the letter tight within your hands, and you cringe at the feeling of droplets meeting your shoulder. (Truth is, you didn’t know if you were cringing at the fact you wished he had kissed you, or if it is the impending sky-fall. You choose to believe the latter.) “Do I open it now?”

He pulls away from the hug first, and smiles, embarrassment painting his features. “I’d prefer it if you read it later.”

The droplets fasten, quicker and quicker, and Isagi pulls you closer to him, putting you out of the rain’s way. “Oh come on! It has to rain now, out of all times?” You heave a great sigh, burying your head into the nape of his neck.

“It gives us an excuse to stay here for a little while longer, doesn’t it?” He gives you puppy dog eyes. 

“As much as I’d love to stay with you all night, it’s getting late,” you say, laughing inwardly. “I don’t want to worry your parents. Actually— have you even told your parents about Blue Lock yet?”

He shakes his head. “No, I wanted you to be the first one to know.”

How sweet. “Then you should hurry home,” you whisper. “I shouldn’t hold you up.”

“You sure?” Isagi holds your hands tighter than before. I don’t want to leave you yet, his eyes scream.

“I’m sure.” You squeeze his hands in response. I don’t want to let you go either, your eyes say.

Isagi leans in once more, bumping your noses together, eyes meeting in a silent agreement. But we have to. And we’ll be okay.

“Promise that you won’t forget me?”

“I could never.”

And so he goes. But you stay. You remain seated, sheltered beneath the shoddy bus-stop. A sense of déjà vu passes, it’s just like all those times before. But it’s almost painful this time. Your bus-stop boy is walking away from you, instead of seeking shelter alongside you. You laugh at yourself, bitterly. You don’t know if you’ll ever move on from him, or if you even want to. Not when your forever-person has pried his way into your heart like this, not when Isagi feels like home.

You pry the wax seal off the letter, unfolding the paper that is encased inside in a hurry, a tinge of excitement coursing through your veins.

‘I still haven’t shown you the beauty of rain.  Will you wait for me? Love, Isagi.’

A laugh escapes your lips. Of course you would. You’d wait forever, and forevermore for him. He didn't even have to ask. It’s something that you would’ve done as one would breathe air. And in a way, you realise that there’s a certain calamity to your circumstance. 

You love him so much that you’d willingly let Isagi tear down everything you’ve ever known. Whether it may be something silly like your animosity towards rain, or the idea of letting someone love you again. You’d let him do it all.

And that is terrifying. But exquisitely so.

A barrage of steps sounds itself out in the quiet of the night, a figure making its way to you - closer, closer, and closer. Oh god, someones not trying to kill me, are they?

Then you see a familiar sight. A boy with his hair in disarray, black outerwear soaking wet, looking just like the wet cat from your first meeting but this time more mature and more determined, and suddenly he’s pulling you into the rain with him, grasping onto your shoulders, locking his eyes onto yours and oh. He’s kissing you on the lips now. 

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I couldn’t leave without kissing you first. I think I’d go crazy if I didn't.”

“I think I’d go crazy too,” you chuckle, resting your head against his chest. “And yeah. Of course I’ll wait for you, dummy.”

“You opened it already?”

“I can’t wait to see how you’ll make me love rain.”

…You should’ve known he would’ve given you that kiss first.

Isagi is not the type to leave you disappointed for too long, after all.

FOUR.

The days seem to blur together in Isagi’s absence. 

The last year or so was, for a lack of a better word, lonely. Filled with rumours that you drove your best friend mad and he ran away, or that you murdered Isagi and the police have yet to discover his body, you felt as if the only people in your life for the last few months were your family and Isagi’s parents.

The sudden isolation is getting to you. And you know it. It shows in the dreariness of your demeanour; bears its teeth in the darkening eye bags that have crept their way onto your face. You’re not certain that he will be able to recall your face anymore. Heck, you can’t recognise yourself anymore either. Gosh, who would’ve thought that being Isagi-less for a little while would do this to you?

But today brings something new to the table: hope. Confirmation that all of this waiting has been worth it after all. You’ll get to see him in an hour or two come morning, and it will be enough.

 Or, at least, that's the timeframe you predicted last night. 

“There have been reports of mass delays in the Saitama Public Transport Network due to heavy storms and rainfall. Civilians can expect their regularly scheduled buses and trains to be postponed for up to two hours or more—“

You throw a pancake at your TV and scream.

The what-would-be one hour trip to Tokyo is now possibly three, and since your butter fingers slipped and set the wrong alarm last night, you are already running late. 

You just hope that Isagi’s parents are still waiting for you outside.

Ding!

You reach into your pocket for your phone, and a message from Isagi’s mother illuminates the screen.

‘Sorry, Honey. We left already. Issei is worried that the traffic is going to hold us up from getting to Tokyo in time.’

Great. Just great.

It seems as if the universe is practically begging for you to not see Isagi today. But after not seeing him for months - not even a hi, hello, or a single sign that your Isagi is safe and sound - you only have one thing on your mind. 

Screw the universe. I need to see him. Screw it all.

You chuck on a pair of navy converses, making your way towards the bus stop that started it all. The streets are busier nowadays. With various roadworks and several shops getting renovations left and right. However, the one location that you know like the back of your hand remains abandoned, frozen in time, almost. Still on its last leg, with a leaky roof and ivy adorning the wooden frame.

The seats have grown moss on them from the increase in rainfall nowadays. And so you choose to stand instead - quietly observing the pouring downfall, thoughts running amok.

It’s almost scary, how time has simultaneously been impetuous and sluggish lately. And you know it ties back to Isagi. It always does. You haven’t seen the boy in ages, actually. And that, in itself, is an understatement. It isn’t in the 'two weeks off school’, or the ‘we haven’t talked since summer break’ way, but in an ‘I’m honestly forgetting your face since it is now a new spring without you’ way. 

…You don’t think you’ll have the heart to ever tell him that.

There is one thing that scares you more, though. And that's in the way that you’re forgetting how Isagi looks when he wears his smile. Does his lips curve upwards or downwards? Do his eyes turn into half-moons when he’s happy or does he bear his cerulean eyes for everyone to see? All of these are questions that invade your mind during sleepless midnights. Questions, that you never thought you would ask at all.

You can only hope that his smile is better than you can imagine. That he glows radiantly like he does in the fragments that appear in your memory every once in a while. Will happiness look good on him? Will it feel like a shame that you’ve been missing out on it all this time?

Maybe that’s the real reason why you’re worried that Isagi won't remember you: because you can hardly recall his face yourself. As in, truly, know what he looks like. You know Isagi from the blurry photos on your phone taken at 3AM sleepovers, and the display frames lined around his family’s home. The big picture itself is easy to see. The little things - the quirks of his that made you fall - have been much harder to recall.

But you do remember a few things. Arguably, the most important ones.

Your love for him; Isagi’s promise. The way he kissed you like he needed you to live; the way you cried for him amongst the skyfall.

The way Isagi taught you that it’s okay to love. 

And it’s okay to be loved back.

For now, that is enough.

Droplets continue to batter against your woollen jumper, the rain drenching your entire being. It soaks your hair, makes the knuckles on your clenched fists a light violet, disguises the tears falling down from your face. The rain is ever so violent, leaving a mess of you in its wake. For the second time in your life, you let the rain do as it pleases. You let it destroy the outfit you meticulously planned, wreak havoc on the converses Isagi gave to you on your birthday. All in hopes that it will eventually cleanse your soul. Cleanse the pain, the happiness. Wipe the slate clean, as the rain does with the pavement, until you are reborn from the ashes and live a life where you aren’t so, irrecoverably in love with your best friend.

But you know, deep down, it will never save you from your calamitous love. That even if you are reborn, one word will remain in your heart. One, sacred word that you keep like an oath. 

Promise.

You wonder if Isagi remembers his promise in the same way that you do. 

It’s the only reason why you are going to the game today, after all.

Your hands loosen from the fist you’ve been keeping this whole time, deep crescent moons adorning the insides of your palm. A slip of paper flurries out from your hand - swishing with the wind in a way that a feather would. It dances around, until it lands in the puddle that has formed beneath your feet.

Shit. The ticket.

You bend down and clutch a now-soaked sheet of paper in your palm, tiny inscriptions that adorned the sheet now bleeding together. The only thing now visibly readable being: ‘JAPAN’S U20 VS BLUE LOCK’.

Rain really, really sucks.

(You’ve never hated it more.)

The bus finally arrives amidst the downpour.

(Yet, for some reason, a small part of you is excited to see the rainbow that comes after the storm.)

FIVE. 

Isagi has always loved the rain.

Ever since he was a young boy, the rain has always had a certain allure that captivated him more than most. In his eyes, puddles held miniature worlds within them, with pebbles acting as land formations and stray twigs imitating people. Enchanting. Raindrops race each other down window panes, with him as an eager viewer. Simply spellbinding. However, nothing has ever beat the feeling of playing soccer amongst the rainfall. The feeling of watching the opponents around you struggle to run in the mud, as you calculate the best direction to head in; pieces of grass decorating your cleats in the aftermath like a badge of honour. Getting sick afterwards is a simple price to pay if it means transforming the pitch into a battlefield. Rain makes the game something to remember.

It’s the duality of rain that makes Isagi treasure the phenomenon dearly; rain can be simultaneously beautiful and destructive at the same time. Which, shockingly to him, is the very same fact that makes you despise it so much.

Your face appears within his mind. Isagi smiles.

Ah yes, you.

The person who despises rain more than anything else in the world. Who groans at the slightest hint of darkening clouds, and acts as if drizzle is akin to acid rain that will obliterate everyone in an instant.

Nowadays, media outlets constantly poke and prod into your relationship with one another as Isagi’s reputation grows - at a speed only fathomable in his wildest dreams - wondering how he can love you so much when the two of you are so different in every sense.

“…They just don’t understand,” he said to you on a day where it was all too much. “They’ll never understand how you’ve changed my life, is all.”

“Me? The person who nearly forgot you? Who doubted you and thought that you would’ve forgotten about them too?” You angrily clenched your head. “I don’t see how you’ve forgiven me so easily for that.”

“I told you already,” he began. “When I was gone I had the same thoughts as you. I forgot you for a bit, too. I doubted you, as well. I could never hold that against you, because I did the same, and– and… I regret it everyday; I know you regret it too.” Isagi inhaled sharply. “But at the end of the day, we both remembered the promise. And that’s enough.”

“…Right. I’m sorry, Yoichi.” Your eyes locked with his through the gaps between your fingers. “I love you so much, y’know that?”

“I know.” He grabbed your left hand, giving it a swift kiss. “I love you more, infinitely.”

Isagi cherishes you like he is a marauder and you are the finest jewel; he looks at you like you’re the only person who ever matters. And that’s true. Because to him, you are. With the countless sacrifices you’ve made for him; sticking by his side every step of the way; waiting and waiting for years; being the brunt of scrutiny from the media - heck - even your peers in high-school prior to his Blue Lock debut, Isagi is unsure if he will ever be able to repay you for all that you’ve done.

…But he does have an idea on where to begin.

Isagi averts his attention to the sights outside the bus window. He wonders why the rain is extra pretty today. The beauty of the raindrops seem otherworldly currently - a cascade of water flowing down overflowing gutters, iridescent hues lining the streets that he grew up on, children jumping into puddles with no care in the world. The rainy downpour from the heavens above seems unfaltering - even against the brilliance of Saitama’s lights. And amidst the hustle and bustle - adults finding their way into comforting warmth - there is you. Waiting in the rain for him underneath the bus stop, face twisted in discomfort, twirling the umbrella in your hand round and round.

It is no coincidence that the rain is so charming today.

No. 

It’s prettier, because of you.

Always, you.

His sweetheart of many years.

“Hey, stranger.” You greet him as Isagi steps outside of the vehicle he practically grew up on, ushering him underneath the umbrella you brought with you.

You, who he loves more and more everyday.

“Hey yourself.” His eyes twinkle with mirth as he takes the umbrella from your hands. “It’s been a long time since we were both here, hasn’t it?”

“It has,” Your face lightens up with the smile that he loves so much. “To think the last time we were here together was when…”

He looks into your eyes, face erupting with a mix of his boyish smile and laughter. “...When I kissed you. Yeah. I don’t think I could ever forget that night.”

The look on your face tells Isagi that neither could you. 

“Even though we’ve had countless other kisses since then, that one is still my favourite, y’know?” Your hands move up to cup his face within your palms. “Yoichi, you don’t do romantic things like that anymore.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Positive.” You stick your tongue out at him.

Isagi lets go of the source of shelter you are sharing, and lets it drift away with the wind. “Hey! We’re gonna get soaked!” You turn your back towards him, hands desperately trying to catch the stray umbrella that seems to be more than happy to escape. “C’mon Yoichi! What was that for?” 

“Turn around for me.”

“What?”

“Just do it.” He says, a smile evident in his words.

Isagi sees you gasp, the sight of him knocking the wind from your chest. 

There he is, kneeling with his right knee down to the floor - pants getting soaked from the wet concrete below. And in his outstretched hands, lays a small, black velvet box, a diamond ring embedded within its centre.

“Will you marry me?” Isagi asks, starry-eyed. Voice soft and vulnerable.

One day came, and now you know Isagi is right.

Rain can be beautiful.

EXTRA.

“Hey, Isagi. What’s the date today?”

“June 20th. Why?”

“No reason,” a small grin makes its way to your face. “Just curious.”

[wanderingconstellations]

yes, I'm going insane with kitty Scara

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MINORS DNI...BUT YOU'LL IGNORE THIS ANYWAY

FYI— AFAB!READER, LACTATION, A TINT OF POSSESSIVENESS IF YOU SQUINT

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Kitty Scara can't stop fondling and squeezing your body, its just so soft and tender! If you say no and don't even let him touch you, he'll beg and beg with glistening tears in his eyes until you finally give in.

Poor boy can't even contain his excitement when you let him fondle with your body— his hands going straight to your tits, squeezing and rubbing them. He just loves your perfect tits! He can't help but just straight on fondle and squeeze them.

And yet, you were staring down at him with a look saying, "seriously?"

Scara looked at you and shuddered with fear when he realized that he accidentally made you produce milk that stained your shirt. Oops!

Don't worry, he'll just take your shirt off and then lick and drink all of the milk on your breasts! Win win for him.

He soon leaned to your left breasts, and started to suck on it— swirling his tongue on your perfect areola and drinking your precious milk you're producing for him. Scara felt like he was in heaven, the sweet and precious milk was so delicious, he didn't even want to let go until he drained them.

You let out a low and soft moan when you felt his hot tongue sucking and teasing your breast, and here you are, can't even help but just get aroused by his ministrations. His hands soon went up to your neglected breast and started to rub, and pinch its nipple— making it squirt a bit of your milk out...

Okay, even if he's being messy right now, at least he's being kind for licking and drinking the sweet milk off of you. What a good kitty he is!

He continued to suck your breasts like baby, his cat ears twitching and his tail swishing with excitement. Poor kitty cant help but just cling onto you and suck your perfect tits. Your taste was soo addicting, he should probably make this a daily if you're going to produce this much milk for him!

Your fingers find its way to his scalp— massaging and tangling your fingers into his hair while you lie completely vulnerable to your kitty. His teeth graze your delicate flesh every now and then, and he was drinking like it would be the last time he would ever drink.

His free hand went down, rubbing your clit through your sopping wet panties. God, he wanted to take you here and now— wanting to make you scream and claw his back, milking you and making you come several times. He's just like that! It's just his instincts so don't think too much of it, he always had the thoughts to just fill you up with his hot and thick load and knock you up so you can have his kids!

He couldn't help it anymore and moved his hands to your thighs— spreading them wide open. Poor kitty, he's just intoxicated by you, he can't help it! He ripped your panties, leaving you bare. His eyes dilated at the sight of your glistening and wet cunt that was begging to be filled.

You're definitely gonna become a mother after this.

Proofread— ❌

Word count— ❓

[ccscocoapuffs]

Can I request a Tama Tonga smut

Insatiable isn't the word to describe Tama's sex drive after matches. Hence why I find myself where I myself where I am now, underneath the fiend of a man while his relentless thrusting throws me into a rhythm of pleasure.

"You like that Princess? feels good huh, daddy's fat fucking cock rearranging your insides". I throw my head back in pleasure not only at the feeling of his cock thrusting so deeply but from the way he spoke to me in times like this.

Tama's hand came up and wrapped around my throat as he continued to speak "Can I taste you My love?, lemme taste that perfect pussy" "Fuck...yes please Tama". I couldn't help but acknowledge the devilish smirk that appeared on his face as he pulled out of me and leaned his head down to my soaking heat.

"I can smell how fucking wet you are baby" "Tama...please" "Patience, Kitty cat, let daddy take his time with you". He stuck his tongue out giving my clit a soft lick as I moaned out his name. "Good girl, kitty cat".

Tama's mouth latched onto my pussy as he sucked and swirled his tongue relentlessly inside of my soaking hole. His deep growls only turned me on more as he began to push a finger inside of me.

"Holy fuck...right there, Daddy! right there !" "Shhhhh, daddy knows what he's doing, I don't need you telling me, kitten, I know where to touch you, understand?". I couldn't form words as he curled his fingers right into my G-spot perfectly.

"I asked you a question!" "Yes I understand, daddy, I promise" "Good girl". Tama dived back into his relentless pleasure he was giving to my now aching pussy as I wrapped my hands into his hair and pulled tightly on the dark hair that adorned his head.

"I'm gonna cum....fuck tama, im cumming!" He looked up and locked eyes with me for a moment as I threw my head back at the intense orgasm now rushing through my body. I couldn't help but whine when I felt him pull his fingers out of my now sopping wet pussy and begin to suck the wetness off of them into his mouth. "You ready for this cock again baby?, ready for me to fill you up?".

Tama leaned down and let out a deep guttural growl in my ear as I closed my eyes at the feeling of his hot breath against the nape of my neck. "Mmmmmm, Tama, please fuck me" "With Pleasure, Princess"

I moaned out as I waited for Tama to enter back inside of me though the feeling never came as I squirmed on the bed that for some reason had now became uncomfortable. I groaned in annoyance as I felt the strangled pull from a dream I had found so sweet.

I opened my eyes to be greeted with the walls of the bloodline dressing room. "Fucking fantastic" I sat up on the couch rubbing the sleep from my eyes in the frustrated state I awoke in from yet another wet dream of Tama.

As my eyes focused I looked across the room to see a very shocked and red faced Jacob Fatu. "Hey.." "Oh god, how long have you been here?!?" "long enough to figure you have a bit of a crush on Tama" "Oh god, I'm leaving, I can never look you i the eyes again".

I quickly gathered my things as I now had to live with the embarrassment of what Jacob had walked in on. I heard Jacob shout loudly behind me as I quickly walked throughout the hallway in hopes of reaching my car before anyone else say me in my horribly embarrassed state. "If it makes you feel any better, I think he like you too!" I turned back down and yelled back at the man, I had come to know as a friend in the past few weeks "Shut Up Jacob!".

"What'd he do?" I turned back around to be greeted with the sight of Tama, Solo, and Tonga. I quickly push past them and continued my quick paced walk to my car.

"The hell you say to her?" "She had a um..dream about Tama and I sorta walked in while she was napping". "See this is why we tell you stop showing up so damn early". Tonga simply looked at Solo and Jacob as the two bickered and rolled his eyes before turning to Tama. "Go talk to that poor girl, and ask her out finally". Tama let out at grunt as me turned a slight shade of red and began walking in the same direction in which you had went moments before.

As he walked away he couldn't help but hear the shout of Jacob down the hall "Don't worry I'm sure she'll say yes! wear protction though!" . Tama rolled his eyes as he continued walking "Idiot".

A/N: I hope this is okay, i haven't done much writing for Tama but based on the requests I'm getting there's gonna be a lot more of him Lmao. I also haven't wrote an actually story in quite a while as well so it felt good to get back into writing more in depth things.

[gettingsilly]

re6 leon has me going crazy so here's pt2 to his screenshots 🤭 i fear he might be replacing re4r leon as my #2 he's so hot it makes me want to hurt myself and others,,,, also pt1 if you missed it

im doing chapter 2 & 3 together bc theyre in the same area and there weren't many cutscenes :3

ofc we're starting off with him lookin like a sopping wet cat

he's lowkey giving dmc dante here

u know we're in a cutscene when they got that fuckass blue filter on

not that im complaining

literally no words why can't he be real oh my god

(he's facetiming me)

im sick so im imagining this is wht yan!leon looks like when u dont listen 2 him (couldnt be me he says jump im already in the air)

YOU KNOW I HAD TO INCLUDE HIM FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE TRYING TO GET AIR

this one he lowkey looks creepy so this is another yan!leon pic 2 ME or maybe just stalker leon idk dont look at me

if there was a puddle on the ground i would let him walk on me so his shoes didnt get wet

im so god damn excited 2 play chapters 4 & 5 bc he's in The Fit this man could **** ** ** ***** and id say thank you

anyways thts all i got there’s less bc chapters 2&3 lowkey suck,, once again idc if you want to save them or use them for anything feel free !! <3

[writers-reach]

Haiii reach!!!! ;3 may i pls req Ren Amamiya with a S/O whos part of the Phantom Thieves, and in mementos, they end up getting their eye injured and the injury perpetuates outside the metaverse, making them blind in one eye, just,, Ren helping with the medical aftercare and comforting them on the aftermath, kinda self indulgent bc i am blind now lolz, but please please deny if it makes you uncomfy ^_^

I don't mind reader nouns as long as it isnt fem!!! thanks a whole bunch

persona 5: w/ an s/o who went blind in one eye (ren amamiya)

notes: gn!reader, slight hurt/comfort, eye injury, ren amamiya for protag, established relationship, reader is a phantom thief

injuries in the metaverse typically didn't translate to the real world. at least, not one-to-one. after all, sodas don't give you health boosts in the real world, so the same logic should apply, right?

...not to huge injuries like damage to an eye, it seems.

when you got hurt, ren immediately called off the mission in mementos. said they should call it a day and go home. when you reemerged in shibuya, your eye was still injured, despite the healing you got back in mementos.

ren was... freaking out, to say the least. but he was calm enough to help you to a medical professional to get checked out.

you'd be alright, thank god, but... you were definitely going to be blind in that eye. you tried cracking jokes about how your depth perception won't be so great anymore, which ren laughed at, but he was just wanting to be there for you.

and he was, always helping you out with things you needed and practically being glued to your side. need a cool washcloth? he's got it. eye drops? already have some. hell, just need someone with you to hold you close and make you feel warm and loved? he's your guy!

ren felt extremely guilty, both as your boyfriend and team leader, that you got so badly injured while on a mission. you kept trying to assuage his guilt, saying that you'll be alright and you're just glad you're alive, but poor ren... sometimes he looks at you with eyes that makes him look like a sopping wet cat :(

but he just. loves you too much to stay all sad and self-pitying all the time. it doesn't make you smile, and he just wants you to feel as comforted and loved during this time.

a/n: anon i'm so sorry that happened to you!! hopefully this can provide some comfort, albeit a bit late <3

[tearwolfe]

Some examples of sorcerer Rui being an absolute masochist because god DAMN he might just be worse than lilykasa😨

Like okay lilykasa likes being bit and allat and if i had a gorgeous vampire girlboyfriend i would too. BUT THIS BITCH IS BLUSHING OVER A SWORD JABBED THROUGH HIS HAND?? BRO GETS STABBED THROUGH THE STOMACH AND IS LIKE "aww Tsukasa-kun is avoiding my vital organs thats so romantic🥹" THEN HE'S GETTING CHOKED AND LOOKS ALL GIDDY AND SHIT LIKE??? Sorcerer Rui you are insane i love you dearly🫶🫶

HE'S SO FUNNYYY I LOVE HIM.. whenever i see sorcevalier art it's always tsukasa being the one that's like.. injured? or whatever. i had to turn the tables a little bit because rui is just so down bad for this knight. he's a pathetic sopping wet cat.

i'll be posting more sorcevalier art tomorrow.. though rui isn't actually being stabbed this time.

(i'll defend lilykasa because vampire bites have a numbing/euphoric sensation that comes with it. at least in my AUs they do. sorcerer rui has no excuse)

[scekrex]

HIIIIII<33333333 i fucking love your Adam x reader fics ,im DYING to read more of them, so here is what we all love and crave

Adam x overlord reader. When reader found Adam after the battle, bringed him to his place with the garden etc, Adam lives here. Reader likes Adam and flirts with him often, trying to get closer to him. Adam, tho he would never admit it, likes reader back and plays along. Reader is also a very chill guy, so Adam feels surprisingly comfortable around him. He treats Adam as a equal person, not as some high-stated bitch who everyone need to bow to. As months pass, they are getting closer and closer, their relationship grow. But tho Adam likes reader alot, he still sometimes thinks about heaven, about Lute, about all he had left behind. Its not the same, down there. But this topic gets pushed aside whenever it pops up in his mind, cause he has his boyfriend(?) who loves him and gives him protection from all the sinners that want him dead. But deep inside Adam has that little hope that Heaven will send someone to get him back (tho they prob dont even know he is alive).

Meanwhile Lute was pleasing Sera to let her go down and look for Adam, who she belives is somehow alive. Sera eventually lets her and Lute comes down to hell and starts to look for Adam and ask everyone who she mets where he could be.

After these few months, once as the two enjoy spending evening together, they hear a ring to the door. They come out to that balcony and see Lute standing in the middle of the garden. She calls out to Adam to come back with her. Adam seems excited that his hope and his lieutant didnt let him down. But reader doesnt want to let Adam go. Adam complained from time to time that "what if heaven forgot about him and accepted the fact he is dead" And also reader knows Adams past from Eden. And suddenly reader switches from a chill guy to a serious manipulative persona. He starts to tell Adam things like "and it would take them so long to get you back? They dont really want you there", also mentioning how Lilith and Eve left him before, to hit Adams weak point. Adam, shocked by his bf suddenly mood switch and his serious harsh words, knowing how he have been acting in heaven, doesnt even realise the act of a fucking cruel, possesive manipulation and gives in, shouts at Lute to fuck off and he wont get back where nobody truly wants him. As they get back into the room, Adam from angry comes to sad and curles up into a broken, depressed ball of misery. Reader hugs him, gives him comfort, saying shit like "noone will hurt you anymore if you stay here with me" (still manipulation) while Adam totally breaks and starts to cry, feeling that he will never deserve a perfect live he was meant to have when God created him, that hes worthless and ruined himself

I need to see Adam switch right from his usuall confident, loud persona to a wet sopping cat, crying his eyes out in a sudden mental breakdown pls

You can change smth if smth bothers you, i know you will make it fucking fire as always i live for your writings<33333

I decided that this will not be part of the Bird of Hell's Paradise story bc that story is too soft and comfortable to add manipulation to. Reader is an overlord in this one, but it's not explicitly mentioned.

We'll be together, forever, we'll never ever part

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, kinda toxic behavior, manipulation

note: not beta read bc fuck you

Before Adam there had been loneliness and coldness, before Adam, there had been long nights and even longer days, before Adam there had been a lot of things and all of them were negative.

But having an angel roaming your halls certainly was not what you had planned for your life in Hell, but said angel definitely brightened your days - even though he was a - well let’s call him a special case. Adam wasn’t at all like the angels portrayed in stories, he was rude and harsh, respected no one but himself and the brunette loved to cause chaos on top of it all.

But to everyone’s surprise, the brunette angel settled in somewhat nicely once he realized that Heaven would not send their angels to bring him back, he even got used to having you around. Well, maybe the wording ‘he got used’ isn’t entirely fitting, Adam even enjoyed your company, sometimes he specifically requested it - when he was playing guitar for example. The first man was keeping you on your feet and moving at all times, that was for sure and if you were being honest, you didn’t mind it. It was a nice change from your boring, lonely life in Hell.

And even though Adam had everything he needed and wanted - you very obviously made sure that the angel never missed anything - you knew that he wasn’t doing as well with his new life in Hell as he pretended. Adam was a loud and cheerful guy, so when he went quiet for longer, of course you noticed. There was nothing you were capable of doing to help him through those times - he was simply homesick for Heaven. When things got really bad, you were even able to catch him praying before going to bed, praying to the creature he called father to bring him back, to send him Lute who would escort him back to Heaven, straight through the pearly gates without any complications - but that wasn’t happening. Every being had their reason to live in Hell, even Adam.

“Adam?” you asked with a soft voice, wrapping your arms around the first man’s torso from behind as you leaned your head against his shoulder blade. The man in your arms flinched at first, he had been lost in his thoughts and your touch caused him to snap right out of it. A slightly confused “Huh? fell from his lips before he looked over his shoulder to spot you. The confusion in his eyes was overplayed by an emotion you couldn’t name and the usual grin Adam somehow always managed to shoot in your direction laid on his lips. “Can’t get enough of me again, huh you shithead?” His words were teasing and not the slightest bit serious which caused you to chuckle softly. “You seemed lost,” you answered instead of agreeing with him, knowing damn well that his ego was already huge - bigger than Adam’s body.

Adam grumbled words you weren’t able to understand, then turned away and stepped away from the hug you had offered him. He didn’t want to talk about it - again. And that probably bothered you even more than the fact that he longed for Heaven’s pearly gates. You were fine with Adam having hopes and dreams, it’s not something you would be able to take from him, even if you wanted to, but he never talked about it. The only reason why you were aware of the Eden incident was because of the bible - Adam never talked about anything that involved his past, at least not about the negative things. What you did know was that he missed his band mates and playing gigs with them and that his lieutenant seemed to be a crazy bitch he liked a lot - not in a romantic way but rather in a platonic way, maybe he saw her as some sort of little sister, you weren’t sure.

You sighed as you watched Adam go. He needed time and you would not deny him that.

-

Lute was walking up and down in Sera’s office, explaining her detailed plan on how they would get Adam back - she hoped it would be quite easy because Adam never actively fell, he had never truly died. So technically there was still divine blood pumping through his body which would let him cross the pearly gates back home. Sera sighed at Lute’s idea, rested her head on her hands and watched as Adam’s former lieutenant never stopped walking.

“Lute,” she interrupted the exorcist who stopped in her tracks to look at the tall seraphim angel, Lute clearly had not expected Sera to interrupt her. “We can’t bring Adam back, he is gone,” she explained as the seraphim slowly got up from her chair and crossed the room to face Lute properly. The white haired woman was not having it though, she stood up for herself, “You’re wrong.”

-

It was only a few hours later that Lute flew through one of the shiny golden portals and landed right in front of your house. She knocked against the door quite loudly, even kicked and slammed her shoulder against it, “Adam!”

You turned your head as you heard an unfamiliar voice calling out for the person of your desire and watched as Adam rushed over to the balcony. What the fuck was going on and who was calling for your lover? You followed Adam with heavy steps. Once you stopped right next to the tall and loud angel you wrapped your arm around him as you looked down only to see a woman you had never seen before - she appeared to be an angel too and you instantly feared for the worst.

“Lute!” he yelled back and was about to jump off the balcony to get to her, but you stopped him by tightening the grip on his hips, a little confused he looked down at your hand, then his eyes met yours, “Y/N?” he asked quietly so his former lieutenant wouldn’t hear. You immediately knew you wanted him to stay with you, there really was no way you would ever let Adam leave again, not when he was very much able to stay with you for the rest of eternity. And it wasn’t that you weren’t aware of how wrong that seemed, but it had been long since the last little toy that brought you happiness and joy, so you would hold onto Adam for as long as possible.

You simply shook your head and pulled him a little closer against your side, “If they truly want you back, then why would it take them so long to come and get you?” That caused Adam to close his mouth and he seemed to genuinely think about your words - he came to the conclusion that you had a point.

“C’mon Sir,” Lute yelled up at the balcony where you and Adam stood, “We’re going home.” Unsure eyes roamed over your body and you could feel that Adam waited for you to say something, you were right after all, why would Heaven wait so awfully long to bring him back? The expression on your face was blank and your usually soft sounding voice turned bitter and cold, “She wants to take you from me, Adam. She wants to separate us like Lucifer separated you from your past wives.” And that caused Adam to freeze, he slowly backed away from the railing of the balcony. “Darling, she could have taken you back ages ago, yet she waited - for what though? She seems to be out for power and she realized that you are the only powerful thing she can possess and get away with at the same time, all while she can stay in Heaven,” you hummed as you backed off alongside Adam, slowly guiding the golden winged angel back inside.

“Fuck off, you can go back to crawling up Sera’s fucking ass, I ain’t coming with you, cunt,” the brunette in your arm yelled and flipped the smaller angel in your garden off. A victorious grin appeared on your lips, your plan was working out just fine.

The door to the balcony fell shut and you heard how Adam crashed down onto the couch, he laid there, face buried in the soft fabric it was covered in and his wings were tightly wrapped around his body to isolate him from his surroundings. He looked so miserable, so helpless, so lonely and you hated seeing the usually loud angel so quiet. Your voice softened a little as you sat down next to Adam, you had forced him to stay simply because you wanted him to stay, now the least you could do was to lure him into the thought of protection and a good, bright life.

“Hey now,” you mumbled quietly as your fingers combed through Adam’s soft brown and messy hair, pushing it out of his face - his face which was still pressed against the couch. Your other hand gently moved up and down Adam’s back and when you heard the brunette sigh, you knew you had him wrapped around your finger just fine. “Noone will hurt you, not if you continue to stay with me,” you hummed, the tone you spoke in remained soft and calming and when you saw how Adam lifted his head to look at you, your heart did shatter a little.

His eyes were red, slightly puffy and his lip was quivering. The first man moved his head from the couch to your lap, pressed his face tightly against your belly and cried - it was the first time he was showing so strong and overwhelming emotions. His nails dug into your sides as he held onto your waist to keep you close, to feel you under his hands and to keep you from leaving like everyone else did, he wanted you to stay just as much as he wanted to stay with you.

And the worst yet best part of it all was that the brunette hadn’t even noticed how manipulative your words were, let alone your soft, comforting actions. He was yours through and through and there was nothing in this world - Hellspawn or Heavenborn - that would ever separate you from the brunette man crying against your belly.