#god fucking damn I hate my stupid fucking brain and its stupid fucking thoughts. theres never any good or helpful ones

[awkwardgaydude]

.

[astro-break]

Thoughts on the 12th ep of Hypmic Rhyme Anima+. Spoilers beware

Season 1 | Ep.1 | Ep.2 | Ep.3 | Ep.4 | Ep. 5 | Ep. 6 | Ep. 7 | Ep. 8 | Ep. 9 | Ep. 10 | Ep. 11

I love these two they're so stupid and cute ofc they're fighting about what place they're gonna open akira's ideals vs satoru's flashyness. i like how satoru is the one who dreams big between them while akira is more down to earth and focuses on the things that can make others happy too

ah so this is how they originally got arrested huh? metaphorically and literally stepping on their dreams damn

thats a tone shift damn i hate that this anime made me care for two gay dead people (so much that i accidently wrote a fic for them whoops)

genuinely i wonder what the IVs are for, it has to be important enough for kaibyakumon to hide them in his projections

like theres four of them. what do you need so many iv bags for mdude?

i still think the who will answer my questions is on par with roxas being a looser

like damn chiaro is very gay living on within his totally platonic bro friend who is modeled after the guy his original died with

good for him honestly, radical change very rarely comes from peaceful actions

damn another leader unit song? suckssss was looking forward to a nigumi

ah no fake out

oh heay hifumi got his jacket back and is straight to complementing his bestie

I like how MTC is taking a more leadership role in this since it is more military focused and they are quite literally the military unit

that would have been more poignant if we Saw how much shinjuku meant to him

Amanda squeakkkkkkkk shes best character ever

soccer idiot what a meathead

also i love the fact that jyushi thinks that the ball is jiro's friend

oh look at that thinking, Scuro does have have some brains in there

OH THEM!!!! ITS BEEN A WHILE I MISS SECRET ALIENSSSSSSS Iris being slay as always never flinching from samatoki shes such a badass

oh i do not miss rex www iris is as sassy as ever and i love her

i like how the villains are playing these smart, its good. just as i type that kaibyakumon does something idiotic by hiding in the most obvious place

oh wait there was that shadow in like ep2 or smth. that was him. that was kaibyakumon. H U H

ww i thought only gentaro got in

LETS GO OOOOO SCURO BBY YOU ARE DOING SO WELL OH YOU

suprised that they all survived gett in blown up by a bomb without any injuries wow

HAHAHAHA JYUSHI oh you lovable boy

haha kick like soccer ball

damn sheer dumb luck saved them huh unfortunate but at least best boy was the one to show the way

oh gods this is the chuuni group and i love it i love how gentaro is just playing along

with the power of music and gayness he will prevail!

damn hes doing it by himself no holograms needed! oh im proud of himmm what a strong boy!

i like his rap tbh its very much about unity and experience, everything he as both chiaro, scuro, akira, and satoru together make up who the person is, they will have their just revenge, they have learned from their mistakes and they will fight for what is theirs. its really good

also he refrences spawn camping www their combined version does seem like the toxic type of guy who would

awww the heroes too have the power of gay and music by their side

i find it hilarious how jyushi enunciates his team name www its true tho none of them have an ass to speak of

honestly? this one is better than the 3gumi one

oh he holds the mic to his heart …

damn ripp the artificial gays they were good. i liked them :((( wish they stayed alive D:

oh those eyebagsss they're heavyyy hes haunted by les horreurs!

oh he loves them, he loves his boyssssss hypmi really be burying their gays and letting their father mourn

lmfao did aliens really just knock out the chuuoku girls driving the plane and fuck off to bukuro love that iris is the one driving tho, love that for her

hah, not a bad episode, i didn't hate it but it wasn't great either. I enjoyed the gay things and the Secret Aliens cameo but overall just no much really popped out to me unlike ep 10

also i just noticed that sasara's suit the pattern is just overlayed on top of the suit not drawn on. cute

[spacedhead]

homestuck reread #6: a5a2 part 2

this shit is so trippy and weird and honestly scary im actually scared. the context for the first image is that jade is entering a dream bubble for the first time since her dream self is dead. the second image is daves dreamself looking into the void and seeing like the horrorterrors. and then jade sees them too somehow in the dream bubble.... its honestly horrifying and has me quite perturbed.

it seems like she is also perturbed. and PISSED AWF

IM INCLINED TO AGREE WITH HIM. SUDDENLY HE SEEMS SENSIBLE AND NORMAL I WOULD SAY. I WOULD CALL HIM THESE THINGS.

this is so funny i thought this was just a jade karkat and future karkat interaction but then fucking dave just Appears out of nowhere . so cool

LOOK AT MY SON (do not look at his computer. we wont talk about it) HE IS SO REAL

okay so theres been tons happening but im pretty sure i never got an explanation as to why daves bro is just randomly on LOWAS (land of wind and shade) . and why jack knew he was there. like what are these freaks doing on my sons planet. should i keep calling him my son. gay daughter or thot son

hate these guys but love sword fights so net neutral (secretly cool)

DAVE SPRITE!!! weird that he also knew to come to lowas. i feel like i may be missing some critical information

they are so cute

this is how i talk to my friends on the internet. except maybe with meows

oh god i think this is where everything goes to shit . with umbral ultimatum as the soundtrack. really good song! anyway. gonna watch this now

this is so bad oh man oh god

well. at least theres this. L mans

stop talking to gray text stupid dumb. i think the fact that i find this funny proves that my brain needs to be studied

wow check out this awesome panel. vriska IS the fire. the irons.... are john? irons in the fire. its the thing she always says. i uh i think i lost the metaphor

YESSS HE DID IT HE DID THE [redacted]

what a fucking crazy amount of wind my son has just summoned. that is so much wind. its covering the whole planet!!!!

i love how matter of fact he is about it. like oh this giant swirling vortex covering my entire planet? oh i did that? oh thats cool.

i never read into this before but damn its crazy that feferi is dead here cause the last time we saw her she was literally fine. what could have happened..... ( i already know)

OH HELLYES . HELL FUCKING YES I LOVE THIS SONG

me to your fucking house

dawwwwww

no need to serve this hard??? but pop off i guess....

not you too....

er okay tavros just tried to make jade his girl friend without even really knowing her and he was being really annoying and kind of an asshole while doing it and then she let him down nicely but then vriska was like bro that was the worst thing i have ever seen and was very VERY mean to him about it (maybe even more than he deserved) and then admitted to being the reason why jack noir is a super powerful evil creature now AND BONUS SHE GOT A VERSION OF DAVE KILLED >:((((

i dont wanna dwell on that though because one of my favorite parts of the comic is coming up right now :3

fun fact: "heir transparent" "doctor" and "planet healer" are all songs of john egbert :D

ANYWAY ITS TIME FOR ANOTHER GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!YESSSSSSSSILOVE GAMING !!!! SBURB

8888)

he did it :)

i think this is a good place to end this one . general thoughts right now? huge. pog. things are happening. plans are being formed. i kind of glossed over them but rose and dave are planning to explode the green sun. john just went god tier. and jade is finally in. on the trolls side of things we finally understand why their session went wrong at the last moment, but it seems like even more has gone wrong since weve seen them last? feferi is dead. tavros wants to kill vriska. what could possibly happen next. tune in next time . i dont know when it will be. probably tomorrow. what with all the waiting i'll be doing.

[dragqueenpentheus]

three hours left till therapy can time PLEASE move a little faster

[falinscloaca]

unhinged rant about recent events in kill six billion demons and how it isn’t actually shitty queer tropes but also very well might be but its also not finished so who knows whats actually going to happen it makes my head hurt a bit i saw a comment on twitter mentioning it and my brain internalized the FUCK outta wanting to bring up that topic somehow somewhere all this is pointless i’m going to explode. SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ksbd: here! have some (questionably oversexualized) sapphics!

ksbd: here! have a character who was continually given transfeminine motifs actually (magic) transition! (for the record unlike the other parenthesis i don’t think this was badly handled much. (magic) is not a wince.) 

ksbd twitter: hey i know this is going to look bad and i promise i hate “this trope” (???? everyone assumes it is “bury your gays” but i don’t even know if that was what he was referring to????) but you gotta trust me

ksbd: ok so one of these disappears completely (and is implicitly dead by the others dialogue + not being seen later or anything) or die trying to save protag (also.... fellas devils can revive with their masks and they can have a *chance* at preserving *some* of their identities but. the mask fucking... *melted*. its a pile of sludge. three years in the narrative past. i’m not saying her making a comeback is *impossible* but the common “oh yeah allison will put the mask back together obvi” is so stupid) (also who knows if literally precidenceless angelhumans can revive like angels do. we do not know shiiiit yet)

ksbd: the omniscient character keeps implying that everything is prewritten and is rather ambivalent on whether our “hero” has the ability to still like. DO anything significant in the grand scheme anymore. like on one hand thats sorta implied but also like the insistence that free will is an illusion doesn’t mean that the character can’t actually start trying to Accomplish gay-people-who-died-related stuff anymore LMAO. like theres still an overall “give up and move on” vibe pervading all of this (which.... are we SURE “the trope” isn’t smth about “hero uses power of love to defy death” or some related shit like “hero... is a hero in the conventional sense and saves the day”? are we SURE this is about burying your gays or fridging women or something?? did abaddon say smth on discord or somewhere????) 

ksbd twitter: for once please take a character being defined one way (omniscent) at face value jesus christ guys (both related and unrelated to the whole Rocks Fall thing its just. added flavor to that whole last barely-can-even-be-called-a-paragraph)

ksbd: ok now that this whole depressing stint into our plucky implicitly-lesbian-but-never-actually-stated-to-be(PLEASE JUST CALL YOURSELF A DYKE ALICE. I. ACK. AUTHORS USE *WORDS* CHALLENGE) protagonist withering away completely is OVER, its DONE, the ultradepression segment is moving on, here comes *some guy!* (that people are making huge assumptions about being her ex-failed-fling and then making assumptions on top of that about him being here to try to help her somehow)

like, none of this is actually inherently shitty (well, none of the things that are actually the point of this, i dislike how cio and allison were framed since first official Couples Moment but that doesn’t REALLY factor in with this). gay people dying is fucking *fine* if the plot actually works. and i’m not actually worried it won’t! it *might* fucking suck but i’m not nearly as invested in “oh this is the worst thing on earth the author BETRAYED his gay fans” as the like two or three people in comments sections and tweets i saw (thus granting me this god damn thought cabinet affliction). the hyperbole that like three (other) people i’ve seen about “here comes some guy!” (which i will continue to mention like that bc even though i don’t take issue with it its FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) is just *delightfully* misplaced imo. but this is still stuff thats like... i don’t want to say trouble-ING but at the very least a bit trouble-SOME? its the kind of shit that’ll seem completely different (for better or worse!!) once the story actually finishes but for now is just like..... *Ehhhhhh...* 

(also a lotta people are more worked up about Cio which like, fair, she just got a god damn collectible statue made and has a massive sub-fanbase of her own, but like. she had arguably the *entire* comic being subtextually sapphic and about ~two books worth of being textually very much bi. white chain meanwhile transitions in a moment of triumph immediately before her moment of triumph gets blown the fuck up sflkdhlsdhlkhlkgsd. one (fucking LONG) fight scene later and she’s completely MIA and we have no *clue* how her dying would work out (though again thankfully for her that ambiguity means that unlike Cio her coming back to relevance one way or another is kiiiinda all but confirmed. like the possibility exists that she doesn’t get to reincarnate she’s a human now Git Gud Scrubs but that writing decision sucks so bad that not even my worst-faith version of the author would pull that lksfdjlkfsdljksfdjkl) so she’s just kinda In Limbo And We’re Supposed To Just Kinda Treat Her As “dead details pending”. it sucks ass.) 

but yeah all this is like. seeing hints of genuinely fucking terrible writing flaws but they don’t *actually* exist yet but they do but they don’t yes they don’t no they do </3. (also with a queer author i wouldn’t even bat an eye at this. like who cares. in my writing ideas i have a *terrible* track record at killing anyone but i strive for the guts to just drop pianos on my hapless transsexuals)

so all in all this was pointless but if i didn’t write it i would physically explode

[kaz11283]

I really like the prompt list you reblogged it’s got some good stuff. What about 37. “Because I love you god damn it!” with Loki if you are still needing inspiration.

37) Because I Love You God Damn It!

~~~~

The Secret Is Out

Characters: the Avengers Bunch, Loki, Thor, Clint

Warnings: Dirty words, slight angst

Summary: after putting your life in the line for a teammate you accidentally let a big secret slip.

Announcements: I will always need insperation and requests! They feed my soul! Haha. I'm not gonna lie. Im skipping back and forth on my requests though. I have a really good story line for one but its just so emotional(thats were Im hoping it goes at least) that I didnt want to write it tonight and put my self in a mood. So instead I guess im goimg with a form of anger? Meh. Anyways... I absolutly love love love everything from you guys! The reblogs, likes, and comments are amazing and I am very greatful for all the love I am getting!!!! 💚💚💚💚💚

Loki Masterlist

~~~~

The fight had been rough but not as rough as you were feeling in the moment. You had gotten serverly hurt and had been in the medbay for about a week now and you had a longer road ahead. There had been an explosion and instead of turning to run away you had ran toward one of your team members that had been to distracted to realize what was going on, you had successfully gotten him shoved out of the way but you had taken the brunt of the blast.

Now you were laying here staring at the celing trying to stay distracted as Bruce and Tony looked at your completely shaddered knee and the burns up your leg. Fingers crossed that they would have good news soon.

"Well as of right now kid your out of commission." Tony said helping you sit back up.

"Meaning?" You pulled one of the pillows down so that you could sit up without being uncomfortable.

"Meaning right now, the way it all looks, your gonna be stuck in the bed until it fully heals and after wards theres really no way to tell if your going to be able to work in the field again." Burce said looking at the xrays again. "And your gonna have to have surgery in order to put all the right pieces back in the right places, but we cant really do that until some of the burns heal or at least start to heal. Its gonna be a long drawn out process unfortunately." He sighed setting the charts back down and walking over to you.

"Fucking hell! You mean I'm gonna be pushing paper work? I might as well go work in a damn office with four white walls and a poster that says 'hang in there, its almost Friday'." You placed your head in your hands.

"Hey! At least our paper work is more exciting than just running numbers." Tony said placing a hand on your back. He had been like a fsther to you, taking you in when you didnt have anywhere else to turn except the streets. Your own family had abandoned you at a young age and you had been leaning toward a dark path until Tony. "Besides with your expertise you dont have to sit behind a desk, your fingers arent blown off, you can still hack into stuff I'm sure."

"Tony we had a deal when I moved in. No hacking but you would train me and I could actually do good. Now look at me."

"I said no hacking the good guys, and if I remember correctly you were the one jumping close to the bomb not away from. I hate to be this way y/n but the only one to blame is yourself on this one."

"He would have been worst off than I am if not killed. I think I did the right thing. Besides you would have done the same thing if you had been closer." You sighed.

"Honey the diffrence with that is I have a supersuit, you wear a skin tight, spandex one peice, that I'm not a fan of." He laughted. Bruce had went to go get you some more pain killers to shoot into your IV.

"Tony if I were you I would shut up. Your starting to sound like you might actually love me, might even say your starting to act like a dad." You laughed pulling him into a hug.

"Shut it kid, cant let the others know I have a soft spot for the hacker orphan kid i took in all those years ago now can I." He said kissing the top of your head. "Do you need anything else before the drugs kick in and you pass out again?"

"Yes, can you please bring me my phone charger, laptop, and that really fluffy blanket that you and Pep got for me for Christmas."

"Dont ask to much of me now."

"I wouldnt be asking if you would just let me stay in my room. I hate it down here. I wanna be were the people are." You were starting to get loopy from whatever Bruce had given you.

"Ok little mermaid, get some rest I'll get your stuff." He laughed walking out the door letting you fall into a restless sleep.

You didnt know how long you hade been asleep but you woke up with a groan trying to sit up so you could atleast stretch your back from laying in one spot for to long. You flopped back down dramatically with a sigh. You could sense someine else in the room with you, you always knew when he was around.

"You dont have to hide in the shadows Loki. Your more than welcome to keep me company, you should know that by now." You smiled as the prince walked over and sat in the chair beside you. You could tell he hadnt been sleeping, his hair was fixed as always but his clothes looked worst for wear. He had on a plain black shirt and a pair of gray sweat pants, both of with had wrinkles in them either from tossing and turning or from not being changed in a few days.

"Whats wrong? And dont pull that 'nothing is wrong dear. I'm absolutly fine.' Bullshit. You look horrible." You reatched out to grab his hand. What you and Loki had was diffrent. You didnt just see his as a friend, he didnt just see you as that either though. You had spent many nights sitting up with the silver tounge man many nights laying on the couch watching movies, reading, talking about each of your pasts. He knew more about you than even Tony did.

"I'm still currently trying to wrap my head around why you pushed me out of the way and took the blow when you had a chance of dying from it. You shouldnt have been so thick headed my dear." He took your hand and raised it to his lips kissing the top of your hand.

"Loki." You sighed rolling your head to look back up at the celing. "You would have been hurt alot wordt than I am now, that blast could have killed you."

"I am a god y/n, that blast wouldnt have caused me nearly as much damage as it did you." His voice raised slightly.

"Thats what you think. You think that because you are "immortal" that you can take anything thats thrown at you. That no one really cares about you, that you wouldnt be missed? So why not try to take a blow from a bomb? My god your so stupid sometimes."

"I know I can. Norns y/n I've jumped into space, been brain washed, tried to take over New York, gotten smashed around by the Hulk. I was raised with Thor, he doesnt really go easy on a person. What I'm saying is I dont understand why you, a mear midguardian, would sacrifice themselves for me. If anything would have happened-"

"Nothing did happen though. I'm fine-"

"You have steel sticking from your leg, theres no telling when or even if you'll be able to walk again, and there are highly server burns that will leave scares. You cannot sit there and tell me that you are fine."

"Your right it does suck that I'm jot gonna be able to pull off shorts or a bikini anymore."

"This isnt a joke y/n. You almost died!" He finally yelled.

"And i would do it a thousand times over if that ment saving your damn ass again!" You shouted back.

"Why though?! Why me y/n? I've done horrible things, killed people! My life is meaningless." Tears had sprang to his eyes as he looked away.

"Because I love you God damn it!" You stopped suddenly your jaw dropping at the admission that you hadnt ment for him to hear. His head jerked back to you.

"What?" Shock was all over his face as he stood to walk closer to you. "What did you just say?"

"Because I love you Loki Odinson. Because if you were to die I dont think I would be able to go on living. Because even if you see all the bad things that you've done I can look pass that amd see all the good that you are doing." You reached up placing a hand on his cheek and wiping away a tear.

"I love you too y/n. I have since the day I met you. The girl that didnt care what anyone said when she spent time with me. The girl that can see through every face i put on. I love you so much darling." He placed his hand on your face and leaning down gently kissing your lips.

It felt like you thought it always should you felt electricity run through your body and the two of you connected. It was like getting a breath after not being able to for so long. He pulled away smiling at you.

"What do we tell the others?" He asked laying on with bed with you being easy with your leg. He placed his arm around your middle and pulled you as close as he could.

"I honestly dont care what we tell them. They can figure it out themseves for all I care." You smiled lacing your fingers with his, you yawned placing your head on his shoulder closing your eyes.

"Sleep now my Dove, I will be here when you wake." He felt your gentle breath slow as you fell asleep, the rhythm you of your breath lulling him into his own sleep.

Tony and Bruce walked in the next morning stopping dead at the sight in front of them. You and Loki were still cuddled on the small bed sleeping peacefully.

"Should we wake them up?" Bruce asked looking at Tony.

"Na, let them sleep. Dont want to let them know that we know." Tony saod grabbing Bruce's arm and turning to walk back out of the door.

~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@high-functioning-lokipath

[satoruvt]

sink your teeth in (give me what i want)

pairing → yoon jeonghan x reader

word count → 1633

genre → like. suggestive? not fluff, not angst ↳ tags: ummmmm lol hitman au.... enemies with benefits..... i have a love/hate relationship with jeonghan and this is me projecting......

song inspo → taking off by one ok rock!!!!!!!

warnings → a few swears here and there, i mention murder but theres no detail about anything its all very vague, also suggestive!! but again vague

a/n → suddenly very aware that none of my banners are the same dimensions. upset. anyways i hate jeonghan but would do anything for him unforunately

You’ve had a problem with Yoon Jeonghan since your first day on the job.

It starts normal - your first client, your first target, fresh out of training. Your mentor gives you tips and tricks and you purposefully take an easier job, one where your client has a majority of the information you need to know. Their competitor - your target - is at a high-end hotel and will be there all night… all you have to do is find out which room.

And, well, kill them, but after the years you’ve spent training and working, you’re pretty confident.

So after some tracking you finally find out the room number your target’s staying at and gather your things - weapons, restraints, anything you could possibly need (and things you’ll eventually know to leave out) to get the job done. You plan it out as well as you can, you want no messes or trails, and when you finally get to the hotel room, ready to make a move…

Your target’s already dead. Sprawled across the floor, puddle of blood under them, gone. You drop your duffel bag in shock, barely take note of the open window, and instead focus on a little note propped up on the table by the body that has your name on it. The police are on their way, it reads when you turn it over. Don’t be here when they are.

It’s signed with multiple x’s and a name you learn to hate.

And since that job - years ago, when you were still a rookie - you and Jeonghan have always ended up on opposite sides. Sometimes you think that if fate had given the two of you a chance to work together on a job you wouldn’t hate him half as much, if at all. It’s a dangerous job, and hard - you take what you’re given, what you’re offered. Even if you were commissioned to work with Jeonghan of all people… you think maybe you wouldn’t be so offended by the simple thought of him.

That thought always leads you to think about why you hate him - you’ve met other hitmen, worked with them. Minghao was the most pleasant experience (as pleasant as it can be, killing others) and you still meet with him from time to time, get a drink or a bite to eat. And even Soonyoung, who you’ve simply talked to a few times, isn’t someone you’re at all close to hating, even when he’s a little too energetic.

You sigh, leaning back away from the telescope on your rifle. Your neck is starting to hurt from the position you’ve kept for what feels like hours, and you roll your head around in circles in hopes to ease the ache - quickly, though, you’re still waiting for your target to leave a building across the street from the empty parking garage you’ve stationed yourself at. When you look through the scope again you see the doors haven’t opened and let yourself drift in thought again: you’ve got along well with almost every other hitman you’ve come in contact with, so why -

“I was wondering where you were hiding out.”

Speak of the devil, you think dully, feeling the added ache of aggravation crawl up your spine. You don’t even spare a glance in his direction, instead trying to stop yourself from making Jeonghan your own personal target, client be damned.

“Yeah? Why is that?” you ask him, voice laced with a level of resentment even you’re not prepared for.

“Oh, to see my favorite person, of course!” Jeonghan replies, and it’s then you decide to turn and look at him. The moonlight from the other openings in the walls only illuminates the bottom half of his face, leaving his smug smirk in perfect view. He’s leaning against a pillar like he owns it. You’re extremely tempted to punch him.

“I’m trying to do my job, Jeonghan,” you settle on instead. God knows your client offered a charitable reward for your services, and you need the money. You can’t afford to risk this.

You hear the grin in his voice when he speaks. “Me too, honey.”

And you should have known, whenever he shows up he always brings some sort of fucking trouble, and you barely think when you’re standing up from your rifle and turning to fully look at him. “Who hired you?” You demand, because of course he has to do this, of course -

“You know we can’t disclose that sort of information,” Jeonghan says, voice teasing in nature but you know he’s serious. You don’t care. You stomp up to him, reach for his collar to pull him to you, chest-to-chest.

“Who the hell hired you?”

Your question doesn’t even receive an answer the second time, instead you’re only faced with a look that’s all too arrogant. You can’t help but roll your eyes, push him off of you with force until he stumbles back a few steps.

“Tell me who hired you,” you say lowly, looking him in the eye. “I’m tired of dancing around you all the time, playing these stupid games -”

“Really?” Jeonghan asks, sounding genuinely surprised. He takes a step closer to you and in a fit of pride, you stay where you are, leaving both of you dressed in low moonlight. His eyes are full of mirth, playful knowledge. “Because the last time we met, you seemed to enjoy it quite a bit.”

Memories of his skin flash in your mind like quick pictures, and you glare as hard as you possibly can at him. Your resolve has been crumbling since the first time you looked at him tonight and both of you know it and you hate it. “Leave me alone.”

“Are you sure you want that?” Jeonghan asks. You don’t answer him. You - you have a job to do, a target who is going to be walking out of the building across the street at any moment, if they haven’t already and you’ve been too preoccupied. Your client didn’t give you any date to have it done by, but this is by far the easiest time to get it done, everything lines up perfectly.

Jeonghan raises an eyebrow at you, steps another few inches forward until the tips of his shoes touch yours. His pointer finger comes under your chin and pushes it up, gentle but in control, so your eye line meets his perfectly. 

“What do you want?”

Something in you breaks (like it always does) and you throw all caution to the wind as you simultaneously push Jeonghan back against the pillar and pull him closer to you to mash your lips to him. It’s an angry kiss, seething and rough, sweetly bruising. Your hands are in his hair - longer than last time, your brain tells you without permission - and his are everywhere, all over you, any place he can reach without breaking away from you. You don’t know how long you spend letting his lips trace the shape of your own until he murmurs something along the lines of “I have a hotel room” and you’re grabbing your things in a rush and leaving with him.

It always crosses your mind at one point, when it happens, how stupid this whole thing is. The two of you doing this together, knowing you always crash and burn. It never stops you from going through with it, though. You figure if he’s taking you down, he might as well drag you all the way to hell.

You get to his hotel room (high-end, you note, which makes everything worse because you know he doesn’t even need this job anymore - not if he’s spending his reward money on things like this) and the heat kicks up again, leaves you stripping clothes and kissing skin. You think you mumble an “I hate you” against his lips at one point - for good measure - and he only grins, grins, kisses you harder to shut you up. It works.

When you finally feel each other, pressed into sheets and skin, listening to the way Jeonghan gasps again and again, you can’t help but think. You know everything you do is killing me.

The morning comes quick, makes you feel the bruises of Jeonghan’s hands more than the night before. You stretch and sigh and try to prepare yourself for an empty bed (it always is) but when you try to turn you realize an arm is still stretched across your stomach, heavy with the weight of sleep. Oh, you think first, and then, I need to leave right now.

So, slowly, you push Jeonghan’s arm off of you and then rush quietly to get dressed and gather your things. You’re sat on the edge of the bed, in the middle of tying your shoes, when he wakes up.

“Leaving already?” He asks, teasing as always. You don’t look at him.

“You’re usually the one gone by this point anyways.”

Your words contain no bite - surprisingly - only a simple observation. For some reason you think it’s worse that there’s no contempt in your tone, that you’d rather keep that up then go through… whatever this is. Neither of you speak.

When you stand up from the bed you’re forced to look at him, and there’s something in his eyes. Yearning, maybe. Longing. Your heart throbs and you pretend you don’t see it, pretend you can’t label the feeling.

You get to the door but stop, then give yourself a moment to take a breath of air in as you look back at Jeonghan. “I’m never letting this go,” you tell him, voice stern. You don’t know what you’re referencing - this grudge? Him?

Jeonghan only grins at you, knowing, and you leave the room before you can no longer stop yourself from grinning back.

[thompsborn]

do you have any spare ironhusbands or sambucky headcanons?

ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY

oh my god okay i’ve been so fucking wrapped up in both ironhusbands and sambucky and absolutely nothing else for WEEKS because of tfatws (obviously if you have seen my endless spam of reblogs but can you BLAME ME) and the portal closed has ironhusbands so i’ve been just. oh my god i am happily drowning in this and them and i do not need nor want air. ok.

also these are all hc’s based just in canon not au, and lol warning this got so long help me, though my brain is so scrambled from tfatws finale that all sambucky thoughts are scrambled and jumbled so i wasn't able to coordinate them as well as ironhusbands so the ironhusbands section is definitely longer pfighf i'm so sorry i'm like this

ironhusbands:

when they met at mit tony didnt know shit. like. like nothing. he didnt know a single god damn thing about anything. like he was a genius he could solve any equation given to him and baffled professors when he was handed like two supposedly impossible equations to this fuckin fourteen year old and he just looked at them with like a mcdonalds burger or some shit hanging out of his mouth and just answered them no problem, but he was still such a hopeless idiot, and rhodey, also a genius attending as a sixteen year old, had to teach him the basics of life, like. making toast. tony how do NOT know how to make toast. its TOAST. you put it in the TOASTER. have you NEVER SEEN A—OH MY GOD HOW DID YOU FUCKING CATCH IT ON FIRE—

he does not perfect the clearly impossible task of making toast until he is 17 and rhodey buys him a cake to celebrate the momentous occasion even though tony went though 528 toasters

you are gold by the national parks. thats it. thats all i have to say. listen to the song and look up the lyrics. you’ll get it.

and also paper planes by jon bellion but specifically for after rhodey tells tony he’s gonna join the air force and tony is worried but doesnt know how to show it and they have like a chill night in and all tony can think about is how stupid he is and how he’s such a coward because he cant get himself to tell rhodey that hi!! i love u!! and im scared to lose u and that you’ll get hurt and maybe die or smth!!

when rhodey finds out about how tony was raised (going with mcu, where tony wasnt physically abused but more emotionally neglected and ignored by howard and always talked down to and compared to others and wasnt treated like he was worthy and never was told he was loved and everything like that) he gets PISSED. like he is MONUMENTALLY angry. and it takes YEARS for him to find out about this too. and it actually puts a bit of a strain on their friendship for awhile when they meet too

like rhodey knows about the starks obviously and he assumes tony is going to be this obnoxious arrogant rich boy asshole and is so not looking forward to being roommates but he was raised to have an open mind and give everyone a chance, but tony was raised to be wary of everyone and keep his walls up and his emotions in shackles because whatever he shows can be used against him, so they clash, you know? they dont fight or anything but theres tension bc it isnt right and they dont get each other.

rhodey tries to be nice and tony doesnt understand nice because his only example of nice is jarvis and his mom and even then his mom and jarvis are always off with his dad so he barely sees them so its still rare for him to experience the nice of them so he doesnt know how to be around someone nice all the time, and so he gets defensive and thinks about how howard drilled it into him to be wary and he thinks maybe rhodey isnt ACTUALLY nice but someone PRETENDING to be

and rhodey starts to feel justified in assuming the worst about tony stark because tony is all cold and distant and rude and is about to stop the keeping an open mind thing about a month into their first year but then he comes back to their dorm early from class one day and tony doesnt come in so rhodey is just standing there and watches for a minute as tony sits there staring down at his twenty sixth attempt at a letter he wants to send his mom becauss he knows his mom likes letters even though he could just call but they havent really called him (howards fault but he’s fourteen still and its hard to rationalize that howards busy life and controlling thumb extends past his son) and rhodey is just confused because tony just suddenly sighs and sniffles a bit and murmurs “this is so stupid” and crumbles up the paper and throws it in the garbage and rhodey cant help but peer into it and barely sees the words hey mom scribbled at the top and that. that. hm. okay.

so rhodey keeps trying because he wasnt supposed to see that but he did and now he kind of has a feeling that maybe tony isnt all that cold and distant and rude as he seems, maybe he just doesnt really know how to be any different, so he thinks about all the subtle little ways that his family has shown him they care about him and starts to invite tony to go get food or to study together even though neither of them really need to study or to help each other with assignments or just anything thats mundane enough to not raise suspicion but still starts to open the door and make tony relax around him just that little bit and then before tony realizes it the end of their first year is there and theyre like friends or something and it hits him that he’s gonna miss rhodey.

for the first time ever there’s someone other than his mom and jarvis that he’s actually going to miss.

rhodey grins at him and says that they’ll be roommates again next year because they have to be and that the summer will be over before they know it and the sentiment is nice but tony spends the summer alone wandering around a house too big and empty after being in a dorm that’s small and has a friend.

but rhodey doesn’t know this. like he knows that tony isn’t the kind of guy he originally assumed but he doesn’t know that he’s literally ignored and neglected and like emotionally and sometimes verbally abused so he’s kind of surprised when the next year begins and they DO end up being roommates again (because tony kind of asked his mom, on a rare day when he got to see her and howard wasnt around, to get mit to make sure they could be) and tony just HUGS him like its been years and they’ve known each other forever but he goes with it and hugs him back because maybe tony’s just more affectionate once he gets to know someone and rhodey is okay w that.

they get closer as the years go by and they graduate from mit together and they’re BEST friends and at the end of the year rhodey invites tony to spend new years eve w his family but tony cant bc howard is having some kind of gala starting at 5 because hes weird and dumb and tony hates it and he also isnt given the option of not going even though he doesnt want to but the entire way there howard drills into him about not fucking up and berates him for all the times he has in the past and when they get there tony is already just not feeling it so he’s like nope!! no!! i simply cannot!!

so he goes in and finds an exit thats in the back and he leaves and finds a fucking payphone of all things and he has rhodeys home number memorized for years now and he calls and someone he doesnt knoe answers and theres music in the background and voices and tony’s entire stomach is in his throat and his heart is sunken into his twisted gut because he just wanted one night where maybe he could smile next to his parents and feel like he fit with them but he couldnt have that and he asks to talk to rhodey and then he is and asks if its too late to accept his invite and rhodey is like yeah of course do u need my address bc its still only 5 pm and its a 2 hour drive between south philadelphia and manhattan so he’d make it with plenty of time before it got to midnight so yay

and tony is like. oh. hm. i dont know how to drive actually. that was a thing that no one ever thought to teach me even though i asked about it about ten million times. and rhodey is used to tony not knowing how to do things that most people their age can (see: the toast) and plus its not uncommon for people from new york to not drive anyway so he doesnt think anything of it and instead asks for tony’s address to come pick him up instead and they’d still make it back by like 9-9:30 so that would work too

and thats when tony is like. well.

about that.

he might be calling from a payphone.

on a random street corner.

and its kind of raining. and he’s cold. and he’s a bit dulled out from everything so he doesn’t really think about the fact that admitting this is going to lead to having to explain what happened and also why and that is happens often. but that doesnt matter because he kind of just wants to be with his best friend and not back at that gala with his dad right now.

rhodey is like,,, ok. ok. wheres a coffee shop nearby u can wait in. and tony thankfully is by a 24 hour one and tells him the name and the street corner its closest to and rhodey is like i’ll be there asap and tony goes and he waits.

a two hour drive turns into an hour and a half because rhodey is Worried™

but when he walks in tony goes from being all dulled out to being all HOLY SHIT because rhodey has a SPLIT LIP and he’s like WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WHAT THE FUCK WHAT

and rhodey’s like no no its good my uncle was having fun and trying to wrestle with me and he accidentally elbowed me its all good man dont worry about it

tony isnt used to accidentally being hurt tho so he’s still like hmmm but he takes rhodeys word on it and they head out and tony wont say what happened or why he was calling from a payphone ?? which btw tony literally only was able to do bc there happened to be dropped change on the ground because boy would not have change on him ok, but rhodeys like alright lets go with this for now

so they gets to the rhodes house and it is in full swing with family and extended family and adopted family bc they are 100% the family that just adopts the neighborhood kids and the people who have no one else and like ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends even after the relationship ends bc they still are family despite not dating whoever it was they had been dating in order to be introduced to them so its a LOT of people and tony is like. this is semi familiar in terms a lot of people but this is NOTHING like what he has ever seen before holy fucking SHIT

rhodey is just like oh u have a small family then? so ur used to smaller gatherings?

and tonys like wtf are gatherings

and rhodey is starting to get a feel for what might be wrong but just takes tony inside to get him changed because he’s not spending new years eve at the rhodes house in a fucking expensive suit ok

tony is completely out of his element and like he’s not the only white guy there bc again the rhodes adopt people and those people are of every race and nationally you can imagine but he just isnt used to the vibe there are people laughing and sitting close together and playing games and theres music playing but not like classy music its music people can dance to and are dancing to and the food isnt the food he’s used to at galas and shit and nothing is what he’s used to and he just sticks to rhodey’s side like a fucking lost puppy and tries his best not to look like an idiot when rhodey introduces him to people and a lot of them know who he is but dont judge him or assume shit about him bc obviously if he’s friends w rhodey then he’s a good guy and they want to know him and thats enough

but tony is v overwhelmed bc what the FUCK IS HAPPENING this is nothing like anything he has ever experienced EVER

so eventually rhodey can tell he’s getting overwhelmed and takes him inside and lets him have a breather and then asks him about whats going in and thats when rhodey learns about what tonys life at home is really like and. anger.

SO MUCH anger

because not only has every single assumption he has ever made about tony been proven wrong, but now he knows that the best person he knows has never been treated the way he deserves and has never known a true home and comfort and love and safety and

and he’s gonna fix it

and this is the first step

so he takes tony back out and they’re still just friends but this is the day they both quietly realize they might kind of definitely like each other as more because tony is still so confused by the fact that what he knows isnt the normal and overwhelmed by how much there is and how different it is but rhodey holds his hand as a grounding point and whenever it might be too much they move off to the side where they arent completely gone but its less hectic and a bit more quiet and its just nice

tony goes to rhodeys house for every holiday despite whatever howard says

rhodey decks howard the only time they ever meet before tonys parents die and he has the most shit eating grin on his face afterwards that tony cant help but lose his shit laughing his ass off

anyway i didnt mean to ramble for so long about that specific idea so i’ll end the ironhusbands ramble with this one last thought, which is as follows:

rhodey gets hurt in the air force at some point, and it isnt that bad tbh but he does have to go the hospital and shit and gets stitches or whatever idk i dont know what specifically happens i just think it’d be just bad enough that it takes him a few weeks to be able to go back to work but he’s not like OH GOD HURT yk?

but like stated above tony was scared and worried when rhodey told him he was gonna go into the air force so he hears about this and they’re probably like almost 30 at this point because they’re dumb and it takes them forever to get their heads out of their asses (i say this even though in the portal closed it takes them even longer but i digress) rhodey has like his mon his sister his niece visiting him and they were worried but they know hes fine so theyre just talking and in a good mood and then—

door slams open. tony stark enter stage left. disheveled suit, fresh from a meeting he definitely was not supposed to leave, having flown in from maibu the second he heard and then had happy drive him and then got impatient because of traffic and ended up sprinting like ten blocks while happy was like what the FUCK

of course rhodeys family are well aware that these idiots are desperately in love with each other so they’re just like lol ok and just leave the room while tony starts fretting over him like he’s about to die himself if he doesnt know if rhodey is okay and rhodey is like tony tony dude tones stop tony im okay tony stop it

until finally tony just fucking breaks down like full on tears in his eyes voice cracking hands clasped as he leans against rhodeys bed and tells him that he was so scared and he is so scared all the time whenever rhodey is out there because all he can think about is losing him and him getting hurt or dying and it’s maddening and this is when they get their heads out of their asses and kiss for the first time

(irony at its finest bc later when they are married and tony becomes iron man rhodey refuses to not have a suit of his own because if tony is going out there in a metal flying tin can then he isn’t going alone and wow what a power couple)

sambucky:

firstly i’m going to go post tfatws, but i’ll make a bullet point before going into it so if you wanna read up until that point you can but most of this will be random little headcanons based post tfatws

also it isnt like a whole plotline thing like the ironhusbands ones ended up being these ones are more random and kinda all over the place but loosely connected

update from after writing this: i lied

let me start by saying my interpretation of why they are the way they are in civil war is because of steve

thats not saying steve is the bad guy i mean to say that they’re jealous of each other because they thought that THEY were steve’s best friend who the fuck is THIS guy i dont want him here go away

children. they are children.

which i find very funny to imagine from sams pov because he literally is a licensed therapist and would 100% recognize why he’s acting how he is but he’s petty enough to do it anyway

and also he literally was helping steve track bucky down but i like to imagine that sam didnt think they’d ever really find him again and it’d just make him and steve like super mega best friends or something because hes a CHILD

and then from bucky’s pov steve goes through all this trouble to find him and protect him and then this random guy is acting like steve’s best friend and gets to sit in the front seat ??? bullshit. absolutely bullshit. worst thing ever. so stupid.

its so funny to me okay its SO funny

its like that schoolyard thing where your friend makes another friend and you hate it so much that you do something stupid like color on their drawing or put gum in their hair or whatever but they’re adults with 1. super soldier serum or 2. a superhero reputation/avengers status and suit with wings. so thats a thing.

post civil war i dont think they get much yk. because bucky is out in cryo and team cap is on the run and i doubt theyre able to return to wakanda much, if at all, and then it’s infinity war and then it’s endgame and after endgame there’s the aftermath and the aftermath is a mess

i like to think they have some moments before tfatws though. not many but enough for that slight foundation thats we can kind of see in episode 2 yk.

okay NOW it gets into post tfatws so!!

SO post tfatws everything is different because now they not only have spent all this time together, but they understand each other in a way that they didn’t before. in a way no one ever has. not even steve, who may have known them before, but he isn’t here anymore and he wouldn’t understand who they are now vs who they were before and it’s different.

bucky finds comfort in sam’s home town. sam finds comfort in watching bucky find a home there and he doesnt know why.

also sam treats redwing like a puppy and lets him fly around on his own and gets pet and stuff and bucky acts annoyed but the longer it happens you can tell he’s like “oh my god why is this thing endearing”

bucky has nightmares and sam knows this but bucky doesnt know that sam also has nightmares until one night when they’re still in sams home town and they’re staying on the boat because sams nephews are having a sleepover with some friends and they didnt want to get in the way or smth idk i just want an excuse for them to be on the boat and somewhat secluded from people but bucky already woke up from his nightmare and is out on the deck to get some fresh out and then oop

sam havin a nightmare too

because fucking of COURSE sam has nightmares he has been through some shit too!! not being able to catch riley and everything that happened since meeting steve and thanos and he turned to dust alone in the bushes ok like yes everyone that died were traumatized undoubtedly (peter my baby boy baby im so sorry that you got the worst of it) but bucky was around people but sam was laying on the ground and probably just watched his hands as he disappeared and he was alone and like. jesus christ ok.

and then steve trusted him with every weight and everything that comes with the shield not knowing how much more the shield has when he gave it to a black man and just like he has nightmares everyone in marvel does its a fact

but bucky finds out like this and he is shocked even though he realizes he probably should have been able to guess that this is a thing and he knows so much more about sam now than he ever did but this is how he learns more. he learns about riley. he learns so much.

sometimes bucky has those like “oh shit” moments where he’s like “maybe i was kind of a dick to someone who didnt deserve it” and he already had one of those with sam about the shield but he has another one because he assumed shit about sam when they were being all childish and jealous about someone else being friends with steve but like fuck

steve and sam probably got it

the not catching someone. the way it felt to try and to reach out and to miss and to have to choice but to watch as they fell.

what’s different is that steve got bucky back. he got to have that relief, eventually, even if there was the pain of knowing bucky had been taken by hydra, but at least he knew bucky had made it.

sam didn’t have that. riley didnt make it.

therefore, bucky has his “oh shit”

and bucky was already going soft around the edges with sam (as clearly seen in the last two episodes of tfatws, ESPECIALLY the finale because like did tou SEEZ ALL THE HEART EYES oh my GOD) but it’s this that really makes something in him melt and he just. he loses the last remnants of whatever tension or resentment or whatever negative feeling he may have been clutching onto.

there wasnt much left. but now theres none. now its all washed away.

its gone, and he gets it.

sam is a licensed therapist and he knew the reason he was being all dumb and childish and jealous with bucky was because steve had another best friend but also because steve’s other best friend was the guy that had been a big factor in how him and steve understood each other and how they bonded and it

it had kind of felt like they lost part of that when they found bucky again in civil war and he kind of wanted to blame bucky for it even though he didnt actually blame him at all so all it translated to was that dumb kind of jealous thing instead

but now it’s just them. its sam and bucky and it isnt steve and it isnt about steve and it shouldnt be because its about them. its about the boat and the water and the way they sit and watch the waves while the silence settles over them and the way that bucky says, “im sorry.”

its the way sam says, “me too.”

and bucky says, “you dont have to be.”

its the way they stay there until sarah comes to get them for breakfast and sams nephews convince them to play with them and their friends and the world is still shit and there is so much to do but

but its this and its them and that can wait

it can wait

they can take their time if they want to

maybe they’ve earned that much, at least

(it isn't a fast development because they're a complicated pair and there's so much to the two of them that need to figured out individually before they can even realize how well they work together, but the steps are so much easier knowing that they have the other in their corner and bucky knows that sam's home town is a place he's welcome to go and sam helps him make his own dreary little apartment into something that feels real and tangible with a bed and a couch and when they've become something that resembles stable and they've found a balance and they're okay, that's when they realize that maybe they can try for the more that sometimes bubbles under their skin and that they started to think about the more they spend time together. the warmth that sam feels every time he sees bucky playing games with his nephew and the smile that bucky has to fight to hide and still can't fully suppress when sam stands tall and proud with the shield in its rightful place, and it takes time, it takes work, it takes carefully placed bricks to build the foundation they need, but they get there, and when they do...

when they do, they're already happy, and it just makes them happier, and that's what makes it so much better.

that's what makes it worth the wait.)

[ectoplasmicbaloney]

LIVE BLOGGING CHUCKLESANDWHICH EP. 54 (spoilers for that episode)

guys i’m so fucking sad holyshit

HES NOT THE MEAT ANYMORE???!?? STFU IM GOSJJDJSJFJQIA

WHY ARE THEY BREAKING IT TO US LIKE PARENTS JO ITS SO GEAVY

dude i love charlie slimecicle for real he’s such a key member of the podcast :(

goobey sons :,)

FOR A WHILE :( oh man

Oh man he’s doing so much :( oh god, time and mental space

that is a good way to put it :(

it’s good he’s prioritising his mental health and just, gah, man.

they played dayz lol and they were having a good time i really wanna see a like, chuckle sandwhich gaming thing WHICH SLIME as a guest i guess :(

i don’t even know how schlatt has moved 5 times and is still making content man

charlie and his guinea pigs is so cute :) and the way he talks about them is really endearing

the energy in this episode is just like: im smiling but im basically just like, tears!! TEARS!!

i need to buy from slimestory and just roll with it

HES GONNA DO CHUCKLE DUNGEONS!!!

yo mamas??!!?!! (sorry)

my mommy is needy??! SHE NEEDS THE MEAT??!!

dad deli? :(

just roll with it is super fun, i’ve listened to it for a while and just… man

don’t hate on me for this, but schlatt seems like a genuinely great friend tbh, the stuff he’s saying ti charlie is really nice and cool

TED IM TEARING UP TOO MAN

who are they gonna replace him with? i don’t want to think of the new person as a replacement but honestly it’s gonna be kinda hard to not, for a while at least, cause of how charlie IS the meat so…

it’s all sad chuckles rn :,|

schlatt’s fake crying lol

charlie is a wonderful boy, a great guy too, really passionate, he’s cool :)

NON-NEWTONIAN FLUIDS!!!!! - my favourite state

NOOOO NOT THE FUCKING COFFIN

he’s so good at lifting the mood :>

they’re using past tense god it’s like a celebrity’s wiki page after they die

schlatt being genuine is so weird but it’s really nice “charlie is an actual saint walking among men. i cannot think of one negative thing to say about you.” damn bro :,)

IM LEAKING?? Ted??

the fallout :,(

im glad there’s no drama, they’re great friends :)

i’m really excited for more chuckle dungeon

NO NOW ITS JUST THE BIGOT AND THE RABID CHILD (jokes)

but their dynamic is so balanced and really nice, they bounce off of each other so well and the convos just go so smoothly! the next person is gonna be great for sure, but charlie’s energy and personality is hard to find and or replicate. i do hope the next person doesn’t try to replicate him though, it’s best to be natural :)

the chaotic evil/neu/good thing is so true lol

WAIT THERES NO ONE JTS JUST THEM TOO THAT SEEMS SO LONELY LIKE THERES A GAPING HOLE??!?

maybe it’s better for it to not be filled? idk :(

enough to last a year if you watch one every week :(

CHUCKLE DUNGEON IS SO COOL HONESTLY!!! chuckle dungeon is such a cool fucking thing and they all really get into it and show ernest interest it’s so :)

yeah he wrote it out, i was looking at the laptop trying to decipher what it was saying lol

me and ted both are a dungeon masters worst nightmare, my last dm hated me, and to be honest it was fair i was very annoying.

“that ted thing” lol… i probably do that

“i was thinking ‘he’s a misogynist, that’s probably a highly misogynistic thing to do, cut a woman’s head off’” that is exactly my line of thinking, just going straight to the extreme traits of the character cause subtly? grace? nuance? don’t know her

“there has not been a single chuckle dungeon without a sexist or racist” LMAO (until schlatt’s off the podcast there will never be one (jokes lol))

a creepo?

the goopey elevator 💀 i think he meant the tomato lol

charlie is an amazing dm

“racial aspects of dnd” bro 0_0

“so you wanna take my spot?” LMAO SCHLATT

THE EUGENICS??

god how bad was the smoke lmao

oh wow really bad

WOAH 9/11 JOKE THATS SO EDGY?!!?

oh my god he thought 9/11 was 2011, his brain goes so fast why did he consider 1988 and think it was stupid cause he was a baby???

everybody was shocked, even me man

THICK WATER

ah yes the best bit

ouh a flashback

the freddy wong episode was so good honestly

unlimited bacon or no video games, I REMEMBER CHARLIE’S EXPRESSION HE WAS ACTUALLY LIKE LOOSING IT

LITTLE SHOBOS

chulk me out chulk man 😟

LWT HIM TELL US WHERE IT COMES FROM STOP PRETENDING TO BE FINANCE BROS PLS

me too ted nivison i want to keep something going

ME TOO TED NIVISON I SUCK AT POKER FACE

dude seeing schlatt so genuinely excited about machinima respawn and boruff and the spider is nice cause he’s such a big fan dude, look at him go!

he ate a termite •_•

i just noticed charlie’s salt rock lamp lol

adventure awaits, i guess

coconuts know when to grow when the water stops moving?? interesting

the cocoknow 😨

“it’s the minerals” sir is saying words

charlie’s humour is really refreshing and i love his storytelling content, especially like the dnd esk adventures and stuff :)

PEANUT BUTTER?

termites taste like lemon, interesting

DADDY’S HUNGRY????

popped em in, crunched em, got the zest and boom

wait are there termites in my house

guys i just confirmed i have a termite infestation in my house LOL i just thought they were funky looking ants with weird white butts but nope! they live in our big ass wooden table

WHAT MY FAMILY CALLS “indonesian flies” ARE ACTUALLY FLYING TERMITES WHAT THE FUCK NO WONDER THEY’RE LIVING IN OUR TABLE

ok back to the video

i’m sorry, his BOAT SANK? BECAUSE OF A GIANT FUCKING SALTWATER CROCODILE???

“get in… gringos” LOL

idk about cilantro tbh

nice fact ted

why does he have an nft painting??? it’s… it’s FUNGIBLE? Tommyinnit bought it for him 💀

do people not have items around them at all time? heavycube

big block of tungsten

HE HAS A ROCK THAT HE DREW TO LOOK LIKE A HEDGEHOD

and ted has two lint rollers!

OHHH THOSE ARE THE GAMER FINGERLESS GLOVES!

HE HAS THE MACHINIMA MIC GUARD!!

boruff gardening is really cute lol :) he’s growing lettuce and tomatoes 😭😭

oh ok future plans:

ok there’s a hiatus coming soon :( understandable

i must buy from slimestory the products are actually cool and interesting to me!!!

GILLION TIDESTRIDER??!? i will watch let’s roll with it again

NEXT WEEK IS IRL JUSTROLLWITHITWEEK

charlie’s not getting replaced :)) and charlie may just come in occasionally:,)

NOT THE EMPTY ROOM

charlie cam dear lord

He got a gift :DD

love you to death charlie :)) but not in a parasocial way dear lord ok nvm

“keep chulking, you’re da bomb.com”

WAIT THEY DID OEKSK

LMAO OK why are they switching to different POVS LOL

LOL THE FINAL SHOT

END:

ok so that was it :,)

Charlie is such a cool guy, i’ve been watching his stuff for like 5 years now and he always makes enjoyable and amazing videos and he just seems like a generally awesome person. i’ll miss his puns and energy on the podcast, but i’m glad he’s taking care of himself and i hope he feels less stressed out after this :) Can’t wait to see what he does next and i’m excited for more episodes of the podcast!!

end

[leotssukinaga]

Paper Hearts

Shirabu Kenjirou x Reader

Anon requested:  🔢 number 50 for one of your faves? Prompt #50: Paper hearts. Word Count: 1593 A/N: I’ve been deliberating on who to write this for for a week and this morning while writing my Shirabu hcs inspiration finally struck. Writing this fr brought me out of a bpd spiral, too. His power. Thank you for the request, nonnie! I hope you enjoy it! (theres a good chance Semi is ooc I did absolutely no research on him. pulled his characterisation outta my ass n said ‘thats good enough!’ *shrug*.)

Another paper heart flutters to the floor. You don't notice this one. Kenjirou does, though. He notices everything about you, including the fact that for the last week you've been struggling to pay attention in class, too busy staring at the tiny, heart-shaped scraps of coloured paper. He wonders who's giving them to you. He wishes it had been him. Some of them have notes scribbled on them, some are blank. You seem particularly fond of certain ones, he notices as they get more crumpled over the course of the week. There's at least 15 different ones, he's counted. He's been struggling to pay attention in class too. It's not the hearts that distract him. It's you. It's the wistful smile on your face as you stare at them, the way you rub your thumb over the words. He hates that you're thinking of someone else like that, rather than him. On the way out of the classroom, he picks up the one you didn't notice. Reading it turns out to be a mistake. He doesn't know why he keeps it.

Another week passes, and more hearts appear in front of you. He's sick of seeing them, sick of knowing your affections belong to someone else. Do you even know his name? Probably not and that just pisses him off even more. He's having to force himself to focus on things now, because all he thinks about is you and those stupid hearts. It probably doesn't help that the one he picked up is still on his desk. Why does he still have it? Why did he pick it up at all?

On the third week, he walks into class to see a paper heart on his desk. He'd have assumed you dropped it, but it's very deliberately placed. He reads it as he sits down. All it says is "Hi." but it makes his heart flutter. It shouldn't. There no proof you even gave it to him. Plenty of people give out paper hearts. There's another the next day, but this one is blank. Did the sender simply get too shy to write a note? He slips it in the front of his notebook nonetheless, and he finds his gaze on the back of your head more than usual that day. 

It continues like this for a while; he'll come into class every day to a new heart. Some days he has more than one, some days he'd come back from lunch to another. All are blank except for the first, and you've still never glanced his way. By now, he's all but convinced they aren't from you. He keeps them, anyway. "Hey, what's up with you?" "Pardon?" He stares at Semi expectantly. "You're off your game recently." "It doesn’t matter." "We all know you're an overachiever, but you've been shit at volleyball these past few weeks and you don't seem to care. Which means somethings up, and I care about my teammates. So what's your problem?" "Its nothing." He turns to stalk away, scowling as usual, but Semi grabs the back of his shirt. "What's their name?" "What? It's not-! I don't want to talk about it, please let go." "I'm not letting go until you spill." "I hate that you assumed I was hung up over someone." "Was I right?" ".... Damn." "I've seen my fair share of love-struck idiots, Shirabu. Tell me what's wrong." "I don't know. It's confusing. I- I don't like the way they make me feel." "Like your heart wants you to run a marathon but you've got legs made of lead and your lungs are filling with water?" "That's- that's exactly it, yeah." "You've got it bad. Did you tell them?" Kenjirou scoffs. "Please, I doubt they even know my name. But that's not even the issue. They've been getting these little heart-shaped pieces of paper recently- which is really fucking distracting-" "Language." "Sorry.  It's so distracting watching them fiddle with them in class when I'm right there and they've never even looked at me. And if that wasn't enough, 2 weeks ago I started getting them. And I know it's just a coincidence but-" "What if it's not?" Semi interrupts. "I'm sorry?" "Hear me out. What if they haven't been receiving them, but they've been making them for you all this time and only just worked up the courage to give them to you?" "I don't- that's probably not it." "Do the hearts say anything?" "The first one said 'hi' but none of the others have." "Did you check both sides?" “Oh."....No." "Aw, come on Shirabu, I thought you were smart." "I am! Just- I don't know how these things work!" Semi lets out a laugh at his kouhai's incredulous expression. "Go check both sides. If they're really blank, we'll find a solution. If they're not- talk to them." "Thanks, Semi." The setter nods, finally letting go of his shirt, and walks away. Had he really not thought to check both sides? God, it was like you'd taken his brain as well as his heart. 

When he arrives at his dorm that evening, he pulls the small box he'd been putting the hearts in from the drawer in his desk, and begins to search them. Semi had been right, of course. He doesn't even notice he's holding his breath as he reads them. He'd stored them in the order you'd given them to him, and he starts with the second one. It's pastel blue, and you must have used a scalpel rather than scissors, because the edges are perfect. Either that, or everything you do is perfect no matter the odds. That wouldn't surprise him. "You're cute." "I mean, you probably know that but" "Sorry I ran out of room on that one" "that one too... my point is that you're cute!" "Its distracting, actually." "But- I really admire your work ethic." "And your concentration." "I don't have the best attention span." "I don't think you're reading these." "You're not, are you?" "Ouch. I'm gonna keep writing them anyway." "If you're not reading these I can tell the truth." "We've spoken twice." "I can recall every word you've ever said to me." "You're a little grumpy and mean sometimes." "But that's endearing and I hate you for it." "You probably don't even know my name." "But I know yours. Wanna know mine?" "It's L/N Y/N." "I'm L/N Y/N and I think I'm in love with you." "How stupid is that? Being in love with a boy you've met twice?" "I'm crazy, right?" "I'm so glad you don't read these." "If you ever do read them, though..." "Could you tell me how you feel about me?" "Even if you hate me. I wanna know."  The last one, the one he'd received today, has a simple question written on it, completely irrelevant to all of the others. "You play volleyball, right?" He decides that’s a good jumping-off point.The next day, he gets to class 10 minutes early, and waits. He practically jumps out of his seat when you walk in, all the other people in the room completely put out of his mind. "L/N!" "Sh-Shirabu?" "Hi... I uh- I just...I wanted to tell you that I do. Uh- play volleyball, I mean." "You read them?" He's not sure whether it’s anxiety or glee that’s more prevalent in your expression, but both are certainly playing a part. "Yeah! I wasn't not reading them on purpose, I uh... I didn't think to turn them over." A giggle escapes you, sweet and melodic and he could kissed you right now, but he doesn’t. Your expression switches from amusement to concern in a heartbeat. "I said... A lot of personal things in them. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." "No! You could ne- Actually, a lot of what you said is... I've been thinking the same things." "You have?" "Yeah. D'you think maybe we could... you know..." "Date?" "Yeah, that." "You're not the best with people, are you?" "Not really." "That's okay, neither am I." A soft kiss pressed against his cheek almost has him falling apart at the seams. He is so comically in love with you. "I'd love to date you, Shirabu." "Call me Kenjirou." "As long as you call me Y/N." "Of course. Could you- Can i ask something of you?" "Name it, Kenjirou." God, that sounds so beautiful from your mouth. It’s as if you've breathed new life into the name he'd thought nothing of for years; as if you've revived it into something perfect. "Don't stop writing me notes?" Somehow, your smile is brighter than anything he's ever seen, dimming the light streaming through the window and throwing everything but you into shadow. He doesn't mind, you're all he wanted to look at anyway. "As long as you read them this time." When the two of you are distracted in class that day, it's not some colourful scraps of paper that steal your concentration. It’s the glances you give each other and the soft smiles sent back and forth. 

Years down the line, he'll pull a nondescript box out of a cupboard and open it to hundred of small paper hearts. He’ll laugh at the sudden nostalgia and call you into the room, and the two of you will put aside your plans for the night to read them together, reminiscing on your high school years, more in love with every second that passes. For now, though, he's just happy to bask in the warmth of your smile. And you're just happy being his.

[vanityloves]

anyways im gonna listen to/read the fuckin...rise of the ogre shit bc ive been putting it off 🪓🥴 im gonna put stuff under the cut bc im gonna be TALKING n dont wanna make a new post everytime

piss

ok he performed for 2 pounds 50. which is basically $3 today i- well it was absolutely a power play on his father behalf that also had the promise of money so.

also lol he said Rejection fueled my ambitions which, yknow,, i already knew but it still hurts and i will continue to talk ab it xoxo

AH HELP. "...if ebay had been invented at the time he would've sold me online there and then,"

"man hands on misery to man, yknow"

THEN PROCEEDS TO CONNECT IT TO MUSIC/HIS CAREER. this man said :) the one thing i truly have a passion for. the one thing i fucking like.

oh yeah. bullied by students AND teachers.

oh god hes 42ish during this interview? ok.

the fuckin school bully saying he wouldve acted differently if he knew what hed become

getting called "faceache", then proceeds to call 2d that. jfc he really does just repeat what everyone says. really "treating others how i was treated/how they treat me"

maybe thats why? hes kinder to fans? bc :] you support me and like me so, ok ill return that energy

MURDOC GETTING HIS ASS BEAT N PARADING HOME LIKE WELL I WON BC 'I PISSED YOU OFF' SJDJD

a real rowdy boy. absolute nasty boy. fraud and arson... shooting ppls windows with his air pistols

black sabbath being a huge inspiration? fucking absolutely.

became a satanist n shit at age 16? "it fitted me like a glove" "heavy metal and devil worshipping became my favorite past times" ajsj funny that ppl in trying times often seek religion or following of some sort

heavy metal being his favorite, n loving the clash, while hannibals was more punk based

hannibal breaking murdocs nose for the 2nd and 3rd time for playing his music on hannibals turntable

he doesnt sound that bitter? ab hannibal? he doesnt sound incredibly fond but he talks ab how he got him into a lot of music. so, i imagine they we're a bit closer than i thought?

international baccalaureate in antisocial? anthropology?

MURDOC IS ACTUALLY SMART HE WAS JUST. NOT INTERESTED IN THE SUBJECTS? I GUESS? (also,,, he literally Built cyborg noodle and i think he had a PhD too lol. but its always nice to hear hes actually...yknow, interested or good at other things)

alright but murdoc having a fascination w/ other cultures - or at least some interests, that lead him to actually study the damn subject and "pass with flying colors"

'fuck college though. im gonna be a rockstar'

he sold his soul at 18ish? whenever the fuck he got kicked out but college was mentioned so my brain goes to 18ish idk

he lived with his father still and paid rent via low paying jobs one including 'part time dressing as santa'

help he was ab to take a Personal Job for quick cash and uhh well, "still made me call him sir though" he really said 20 dollars is 20 dollars, huh "that story was totally true"

alright, 1997,,,

2d stuff

loves zombie stuff? thats really cute, and is freaked out by the way they move. god he rambles

both he and murdoc are horses in the chinese zodiac

[[jfc ok if the official shit compares them a lot i understand why ppl ship them but Dont. its a narrative foil and that doesnt always mean Romance jfc.]]

SUMTHINK.

truly... a lil stinker. super cute bouncing baby and a "bit thick" which is stull so endearing to me. hes just a happy man!

excitable 10 year old and would dance around his room

jfc the fact he has normal/caring parents. i kinda forget how opposite hes supposed to be from murdoc but i think thats another thing jsjsysg (murdoc said why isnt my tragic story making me famous why does he get to be the Star. no wonder he acts like a loon)

i still dont get how gettin bonked by a tree branch made him go bald and also turn his hair blue

big tiddy nurse mommy,,,

went to the same school as The Cure and got decent grades despite hittin the noggin quite hard. WANTED TO BE A STORM CHASER... OMG??

oh thats really cute, hed bond with his dad by building keyboards toegther 🥺💕

messed around with paints and graffiti? artistic king

MURDOC AGAIN: QHDJ 'VILLANOUS' GANG HELP

oh yeah d day...new instruments, new band, new singer - and 'had to be the best or no dice' and absolutely CONFIDENT that his songs were bangers ajsjd

but on that same note, had absolute faith (or desperate) in 2d which i love

ransacked the fucking music shop jdjdj and 2d said he was Just Standing There behind the counter the whole shift hdhdh

"thats when your eye came out, yeah" "yeah!-" HELP WHY DOES HE SOUND SO HAPPY AB IT ?? yes he said ut hurt but he sounds...ok

jfc murdoc ragdolling this poor mf around. dunking him and slapping him around. actually? so incredibly terrible and abusive and i hate him for that 🔫 im sorry 2d stans. we dont condone that behavior here ong.

how and why the FUCK did 2d's parents allow that fucker near their child after that i??? help. wtf. his moms a nurse why didnt she just have murdoc sit in plain view of other people. god damn.

2d flying out the window n hitting the curb "whoops"

"just two black holes...[ah] it looked great...a blue hair, blacked eyed GOD- the girls would go wild-" "pretty boy looks" ???? HELP. HE DOESNT GO LIGHT ON THE COMPLIMENTS, HUH

RUSS TIME

oh yeah, he straight up kiddnapped this man help. idk how he managed that, russ is a Big Man??

AND MURDOCS MUSIC WAS SO FUCKING SEXY GOOD that russel said hm alright ill stay, :] out ifbhis owm free will im screaming.

"oh this is one of them febreeze commercials" "uh . yeah sure. *murdoc turning on his Sick Tunes*" but that either means? it was just his guitar playing the convinced russ? unless he and 2d recorded sumn?

"2d was the looks, murdoc the brains, then russel truly was the heart"

'while 2d and murdoc liked music, this man was a MUSICIAN' god fucking bless this book holy shit ny man russ getting some respect. he said back hurts from carrying this band.

murdoc basically heard this guy had big trauma that gave him So Many Skills n said "thats what i want" ok idk thats actually really? inch rest ting to me. seems that murdocs fine handing out compliments but i guess that where his charisma really helps out yeah?

"he was going to be in my band whether he liked it or not" ...murdoc-

HELP. 2D IS LIKE BRO GO ON IM LISTENING 🥺 despite hearing the story 50-60 times and murdoc said fuck off you lil shit.

ok irrelevant but i love his voice! its super comforting n nice to listen to 🥺

HELP MURDOCS SO BITTER. "NOTHING THAT HAPPENS TO US IS NORMAL" WELL YEAH. THIS IS TRAUMA CENTRAL.

idk how/why he sucked up all his friends souls though ... how are they all possessing the same person. they said "its my turn on The Russ"

DELL IS HIS ACTUAL, LITERAL SOULMATE...KING...😭

went to a private school,,, and was already possessed? and the thing where he gets bigger and smaller is a reoccurring thing?

was in a coma for 4 years?

hiphop machine...time and history...the ultimate set i guess.

his knowledge was infinite and hes a "Renaissance man" hes so fucking smart our king. jack of all trades but a master of drums. he said i know im good and what of it

PAULA.

HELP. HE RMBRS THE STALL: CUBICAL NUMBER 3 🥴 IF I DO RECALL 🤤

yes russel our king. fuck up his nose 5 more times. probably stunted his growth too. he shrunk after russ gave him a wallop im sure

why dies paula sound like tracer overwatch

also only dated 2d for 2 months before joining the band?

HELP SHE REALLY WAS THE FIRST MURDOC FUCKER: "but when i saw murdoc with his thick greasy hair, green teeth and yellow skin i thought 'oh this is the ine for me!'" "OH HES SUCH A DANDY-" HELP ME IM HQJDHD

sick in the head...like i want to hurt people help girl. shes fucking Crazy. but she rly said damn i didnt hear back from him again 😭 and my purse is gone JSHHD

MURDOC: SHE WAS DEPRESSINGLY UGLY *still fucked her*

NOODLE TIME

"small japanese person!"

2d: we werent gorillaz until noodle arrived!

im dying the reason he chose gorillaz. 'swinging through the jungle baring my ass'

noodle really said "im just happy to be here" and she balanced everyone out 😭 "she gave off pure love and the fact that she could laugh at murdoc REALLY helped too" RUSS... IS BABY

JFC MURDOCS SO FUCKING CONFIDENT IN THIS BAND IM LIVING FOR THAT. HE SAID YOU WANT US SO BAD IT MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID. THE CHARISMA

2d rambling ab some girl he met and "ssSs" "whats the s stand for hawhaw" "i dont know!".

THE RECORD LABEL GUY.

one song is all it took i ❤ good for them

just murdoc talking ab the party that they threw for thier deal and saying "you dont know how much of a dick i felt like [when carrying one of those huge checks]" like oh thats whatll make you a dick? alright.

A FOOD FIGHT THAT WENT SO HARD THAT IT KNOCKED 2DS TONSILS OUT? WHAT THE FUCK

ahshdj damon and murdoc not getting along bc of Rival Band One Uppery + damon calling murdocs cuban heels crap since ge wore steel ones with gold spurs.

MURDOC FEELIN EMBARRASSED BC HES 'QUITE PROUD OF HIS SHOES'

but the band and damon getting over music and their ambitions and became a "paternal figure"

HELP MURDOC SAID AWIOGA @ RACHEL WHICH MADE HER THROW HER DRINK IN HIS FACE AND SPLIT FROM 2D. kinda sad actually, she said i still like 2d but murdoc kinda ruined it by trying to get it in with me, it put a strain in our relationship :/ oh god murdocs That Dude

nov 31 1998: started recording :]

40 tracks that got cut down to 15 holy shit

KONG STUDIOS 🤲

hooking up cameras in every room ejdjsu

webby artist of the year in 2006? holy shit

noodle learning ab kong studios omfg

JFC. YES I KNEW KONG WAS BUILT ON/IN A CEMETERY BUT I DIDNT KNOW PPL FOR THE FUCKING PLAGUE WHERE THROWN THERE HDJD

built in 1739?

the ghost of the first owners ghost still roams around in the kitchen in the early hours and moans 'aaa glass of water'

theres some rotting bullshit near the studios and in the summer its fucking TERRIBLE

the former owners were a biker gang, and they all died in a fire

murdoc said this place has bad vibes. i want it.

grim weather

the building feels impossible to escape from huHgg

[gooferdusted]

watching the spn anime so you dont have to: ep 4 (ghost on the highway)

tagging @mila-dans and @mtwalker (lmk if u wanna b tagged in the future to see the horrors continue to unfold)

• ok so it looks like we're doing the classic ghost car, but instead of a racist truck its??? the impala??? honestly, that's kind of less ridiculous than what the actual show did.

• once again: absolutely atrocious sound design. sam's visibly eating a burrito but??? no change in jared padaleckis voice??? hate it. <3

• dean throws sams breakfast out the window and they immediately get pulled over by the cops I fjdnjfnejen

• "that's what you get for throwing food out the window"

• sam: *suggets a reasonable solution for proving they didnt murder a bunch of people bc they. didnt.*

• dean: DAMN no theres gotta be another way

• this show is so needlessly horny at times I just--

• t-trans character???? on god???????

• hm. misgendered. ok. misgendered through the WHOLE thing.

• I hate it here I HATE it here

• "and you're both totally my type too but WOO-- ok you better get out of here and never come back" ~ the consistently misgendered trans woman on supernatural the anime series

• dean's literally giving sam fucking whiplash like stop doing 360s in the middle of the road just pull the fuck over like a normal person

• dean said the impala is the closest thing he has to a gf... out loud..,., bruh.

• no comment on this one. just sit w it.

• it's a good thing my brain is irreversibly fixated on anything to do with this stupid show bc otherwise this would be completely unbearable

• you know, maybe its just the fact that I'm thinking about how much I would like to eat a gelato right now, but this plot thread is unraveling faster than the 23 minute episode can conclude.

• I like that you guys arent bothered by my completely disconnected thoughts and total lack of actual synopsis. its comforting. we're gonna give that a swift 2/10. points off for misgendering and the plot being route 666 but Worse.

[mousehole5000]

wow i made this draft on november 1st i really took a break from this huh anyway tgcf chapters 121 - 142

i realize now this coffin scene was inevitable. feel kinda weird about hua cheng  back and forth from Teen to Big Man but it is very funny that theyre having their “dude dont look at my boner” moment while in the jaws of a water dragon

pei ming: why didnt you guys make a bigger coffin so you didnt have to squish together like that? xie lian: haha yep!! anyways what brings you here?

“In the grand, spacious centre of the entrance hall sat a person. And this person, dressed in all black, its face snow-white—was a corpse! Instantly Xie Lian shut the doors soundly.” - king of minding his own business.

okay this is where i stopped putting notes here for a while but i did save some in my e-reader so here’s some of the highlights

“Guzi used to have a good sleeping form, but perhaps with his cheap dad’s bad influence, now he was also spread out on top of Qi Rong’s stomach like a dead fish. Lang Ying himself was curled neatly in the corner, and was covered by a few shirts. Xie Lian lifted the blanket covering Qi Rong, suppressed the urge to smother his face, and covered the two small children.” - xie lian funny moments. also it would be really funny if qi rong redeems himself by learning love through these misfit chiildren and it might actually endear me to him but i hope that doesnt happen

Every heavenly official was yelling, and even Ling Wen was throwing a fit. “DON’T THROW EVERY BIT OF USELESS INFORMATION MY WAY, HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK I HAVE TO GO THROUGH EVERY DAY? DON’T YOU ALL KNOW TO USE YOUR BRAINS A LITTLE BEFORE ASKING ME?!” - ling wen marry me right now

“An expression like “seen a ghost” that only mortals experienced was now showing on his face for the first time. Shi Wudu’s pupils shrank to the smallest they could, and he blurted, “You’re still alive?!” “I’m dead!” He Xuan said coldly.” - okay everythings going tits up rn but i did laugh

i did see spoilers re: ming yi/he xuan reveal + shi wudu’s fate beforehand so i dont have a genuine reaction other than oh shit

“He slowly enunciated each word. “I won’t touch your fate. But, here in this place, chop off your brother’s head for me.”  CLANG! He threw a rusty blade onto the ground. Shi Qingxuan stared at that blade, his eyes wide. He Xuan continued, “Then, never show yourself before me again, and I will pretend you’ve never existed in this world.” - okay idk what else is going to happen but rn im concerned that this is like the 2nd biggest ship. i guess we’ll see?? i mean i am really curious whats going to happen to them. shi qingxuan keeps calling he xuan “ming-xiong” and i... sad

shi wudu im not really invested in you as a character but these next two bits... interesting

“If I don’t die but have nothing, then that’s truly a fate worse than death. If I’m not the Water God, I can’t take care of you. I won’t even be able to protect myself. I’m scared that we won’t even last two days…TAKE IT!” - damn. something about the wealthy losing everything and not knowing how to live without it bc thats their entire life and identity

“EVERYTHING I HAVE TODAY, I FOUGHT FOR MYSELF. I WILL FIGHT FOR WHAT I DON’T HAVE. I WILL CHANGE FATE I DON’T POSSESS. MY FATE IS UP TO ME AND NOT THE HEAVENS!” - okay so the whole committing spiritual fraud by tormenting a man and his family to get your brother a cushy title thing aside this was kind of badass. heretical? possibly. but still. also is he intentionally riling up he xuan so sqx doesnt have to kill him? if so damn...

also okay as long as im here im just gonna say it. the choice that he xuan gives shi qingxuan is fucking brutal but i actually think its probably as fair as it could be. sqx didnt know about or participate in what happened to hx but they did benefit from it greatly while hx lost EVERYTHING and i can understand he xuan’s thinking of “if you really feel bad for what happened to me then you have to make a sacrifice and understand the suffering and this is as clean as its going to get” and theres a bit where sqx is trying to beg for mercy but cant get the words out which im guessing is bc theres no good argument!! what happened was fucked up!!

“When Pei Ming saw that reinforcements had arrived, he didn’t appear particularly delighted; instead he threw the sword into the ground, then rubbed his nose and said, sounding grim, “You all just had to come just as I finished making these, what the heck.” - pei ming making coffins chopping down trees with his sword i love it #wastehistime2k17

“Xie Lian brought that basket of eggs along, and gave them away as souvenirs from the mortal realm. Many who received the eggs were overjoyed; some deciding to eat it along with their own blood, and some proclaiming they would hatch an eight-foot monster.” - GHOST CITY GHOST CITY

“Placing the brush down, he blew lightly at the ink and smiled. “If I like something, then my heart will not have room for any other, and I’ll always treasure it. A thousand times, a million times, no matter how many years, this will not change. This poem is the same." - thats nice and all but king... get therapy. i actually have further thoughts but tbh i dont want to put them into words bc they are simply too personal! moving on

didnt take any notes but somewhere in here was the bit with mount tong’lu opening and hua cheng losing it and kind of um. hm. that scene. thats another trope i really hate tbh i dont care for it as a way of including physical intimacy between characters and idk if it really ever adds anything but whatever moving on

The Half-Maquillage Woman - kind of interesting monster idea bc women and aging…. yeah. however i think this would be a lot stronger if there were a) more girls and this was b) discussed or illustrated at all prior to this moment. still interesting that its included knowing the author is a woman tho and there’s been comments on how ling wen is perceived vs pei ming. this book does keep giving me hope for interesting female character arcs i really want it to deliver something

quan yizhen..... i get u

lmao i have a note on a bit with lang ying that says “please dont be hc in disguise” and..... my clown nose was on but at least i knew that. for real this is bothering me how much he’s just. always. there. i know he’s a lead but we didn’t really need him around for a lot of this. oh well.  okay now to my current notes

“Yet it was precisely because it wasn’t cooked that it had to be eaten quickly. Once Xie Lian cooked it, it wouldn’t be edible anymore” - fucking fantastic

“Xie Lian hugged his belly. “Of course! Only after having met you did I rediscover that it’s such a simple thing to be happy, hahaha…” Hearing this, Hua Cheng blinked. Xie Lian’s laughter quieted a bit, realizing what he just said was a little too revealing.” - okay i know i said what i said about being tired of hua cheng being everywhere but... the line…. the fact that theyre laughing together…. :pleading:

“It’s not,” Ling Wen said. “At least, I believe, there will definitely not be another in history who can create a dish called ‘Incorruptible Chastity Meatballs’” - and truer words were never spoken

“I, DO NOT WORSHIP GODS. “I, AM GOD!” - this was every bit as badass as i hoped but no one told me it was immediately followed up by a little bit of the ol dinner theater fjalkdsfjsd. also puqi shrine noooooooooo

“Xie Lian sighed as he thought, “Qi Rong has taken Guzi away, who knows if the poor child was eaten or abandoned. Wind Master...... ..... who knows if Black Water took him away. Pray they’re both safe.” yeah hey are we going to fucknig. find out what happened to the child???

and yeah i dooooont really care for the age regression? thing thats going on. i just dont like that trope tbh. but tiny hua cheng whipping out his fat ghost king wallet in the store was funny tho. it is really funny that hualian are just like wandering around some random towns while the heavens are in an uproar. i guess theres not much else to do but its funny

“Me too, me too. You all know of my shixiong, right? Talented, with an infinite future! He only had one small vice: he loved playing women. Decades ago, a little prostitute ghost seduced my shixiong and sucked him dry into human jerky, and that Hua, Hua, Hua, that ghost king dared shelter her.” - yes omg give me the forbidden hua cheng lore i love this for him for real it goes along nicely with xie lian’s principles about giving another cup. god i love shared values

“Hua Cheng poked again, and a small hole appeared on the wall, as if the wall was made of tofu.” - how’d he do that. why is this a ghost king power. its useful tho

*me shaking qi rong when he pops up* WHERE IS THE CHILD

mu qing fu yao is here okay im happy now. once again no one has a good grasp on their secret identity and i love that. this inn has descended into chaos and im delighted and im glad lan chang is back

“The good ol’ kitchen was suddenly squished and crowded, loud and noisy. Fu Yao was chasing that fetus spirit leaping up and down, Lan Chang was chasing after Fu Yao like she had gone mad. Half of Qi Rong’s face changed shape by the way Xie Lian was pressing him down on the chopping board, his back turning into a target for those yellow talismans Fu Yao hurled while being observed by a crowd, and Lan Chang would step on him from time to time.” - this is pure chaos. i love that mu qing was in that room when the mob checked and he didnt say a word didnt open the door just sent out a talisman as a warning. king your disguise is transparent

“Xie Lian remembered the way Feng Xin laughed until he was hoarse when he first heard that verbal password all those years back, and couldn’t help but feel nostalgic, even though it wasn’t the right time.” - awwwww omg im emotional about this... faithful friend feng xin laughing at xie lian’s stupid joke password and remembering it!!! ;_;

“They have, but they’re not effective,” Feng Xin said. “Usually they’re the most diligent in scorning the Palace of Ling Wen, like they could do the job way better if they had the position. Now that we need them to take up the task, not a single one can do even half of what she does.” - typical... typical typical typical

also emotional about the fact that feng xin contacted xie lian at all.....

also!! emotional about lan chang as a mom and wanting to help out sick lil guzi.....

xie lian forcing “fu yao” to let him help “his general” is making me.... what is friendship if not playing along with your buddies little shenanigans while also making them accept your help

“Someone like Mu Qing, even though he’s narrow-minded, petty, sensitive and skeptical, has a bad personality, constantly guessing, doesn’t say nice things, likes to nag, always offending people and has a lot of people who dislike him, has no friends, can remember small, unimportant details for a long period of time…” ”Xie Lian went on in one breath with a straight face, but in the end he concluded with, “...But I’ve known him since we were kids, after all, he’s still got principles.” - XIE LIAN PLEASE AFJDLKSFJDL omg ive seen this quote before but i figured he was talking to someone else not actually to mu qing himself fgjasdkfjsl. god thats amazing. hey im gonna help you out because i care but i will roast you first <3

waaaaaait so is lan chang aka jian lan that girl from book 2 we took a page to talk about and then disappeared? that has to be it why else would we have stopped to discuss her

“Jian Lan spat on his face, then choking his neck, she slapped him twice again. “WHAT SHITTY SUPREME! YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO BLOW YOURSELF UP! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, THINK YOU’RE EVEN WORTH TO BE THOUGHT OF AS EQUALS WITH THE OTHER THREE SUPREMES? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN GOOD AT? YOUR THICK SKIN? OF COURSE I DARE HIT YOU!” - oh this feels so good i cant lie. YES GET HIM!! CHOMPING AND VIOLENCE YES!!!!

okay this description of cuocuo.... im... that sure the hell is a creature

this book is so entertaining bc i already saw spoilers for the feng xin/jian lan/cuo cuo reveal and yet i could never have predicted the circumstances that brought it about. imagine being feng xin. the heavens are in an uproar and your only friend/enemy has been jailed for possible fetus spirit-related crimes but he escapes along with this female ghost who keeps causing problems. you figure “fuck it lets see if dianxia kept his old phone number” and he has but then he hangs up on you. you’ve got fuckall else to do so you go find him. mu qing is there but he’s in his disguise the two of you were using so you could watch over his highness while staying aloof. you think you see hua cheng only he’s a chiild for some goddamn reason but who knows at this point. the female ghost is also there and theres a fetus spirit climbing trees and biting your arrows in half. you realize the female ghost is your ex and the little demon is your son. it bites you. what do you do

amazing that despite everything going on everyone is still playing along with the “fu yao” persona when it would probably be easier to drop pretenses at this point. then again tbh if i could explain my actions to my friends while pretending to be a third party.... i probably would so.. carry on

“With all his devotees gone, only Feng Xin still treated him like the Flower-Crowned Martial God and His Highness the Crown Prince. ” “...his protection charms were all seen as trash. However, Feng Xin was still determined and tireless in handing them out; telling Xie Lian, look, you still have devotees.” “After all, he was the darling of the heavens since birth, high and mighty. Feng Xin so naturally spun around him like he was the world, so how could he possibly have his own life, his own heart” “Whether or not that fetus spirit was Feng Xin’s son, if it was that period of poverty that made Feng Xin lose the girl he loved, Xie Lian wouldn’t be able to forgive himself no matter what." ohhhh my god this relationship i. im...

oh my god i still have 30 more chapters until book 4............ its naptime now i think

[alyfawx]

I cant keep doing this...

I cant keep up with evrything expected of me...

i lose sleep..

im in pain all the time...

I keep pushing but i feel like...

utter shit...

I hate my job but i need money...

I Dont get paid enough to pay bills and get things that i like...

I am told in different ways that im not good enough or im not doing enough...

I cant find to much happiness doing the things I love...like writing...or eating stuff I love and crave...

im worried everyday about my health but i domt have the motivation to donwhats needed to keep it leveled...

im at war just toget my insurance but they keep saying my account is still open in fucking NY and its been years of flinging to my social worker trying to figure it out and cancel it and they say they will give me the papers I need to donit but never does and because of that my mental health is getting worse and worse because its not getting treated and i try to treat my own self with research and stuff but there is so much i can do...and I considered just...going to a mental psychiatric clinic but then I cant afford that because my damn NY account in insurance keeps saying its open but me an my mom tried to get it fix and it just will not fucking close 4 years of trying this 4 fucking years and im suffering inturnally...i contemplate running away from going to work but i cant...because work equals money...i feel like a burden to my family but have no clue what else I can give to them...when im fucked up...i cant take more hours because I feel like if I did I will be lutting more stress to my body that will probably make things worse....i hate asking for help because its looked down uponed...or I feel like my problems are solo fucking little compare to others who work there god damn butts off and im here complaining I cant do a 4 hour shift for like 4 days back to back without wanting to fucking blow my brains out because everything hurts...and on top of that I seriously cant deal with the stress my mind is on when im there..."im not good enough or fast enough or im socially awkward and weird and people will look at me like i'm not trying hard enough" and that makes work for me a living fucking HELL...because everyday I wish I see people doing things more efficient then me...but if im going any more then i am doing...im stressed and anxious and like not comfortable... and i just try to keep those thoughts down...but there is a point where I just cant even bother because my mind is so hard to shut off...once it gets going...i Don t know what to do anymore...im starting to feel like...hopeless...helpless because theres so much expactations on me...brcausr no one ilunderstands...no one wants too...and when they try they just say you just got to do it...its life...it I get compared to better off people mentally...stonger people...thats even with there struggles they can do it...im not one of those people and i dont think I'll ever be in my current situation...and honestly...u dont know what else I can do anymore...and its to the point where trying anything more then what I feel I capable of...ill push myself too much and I'll snap...and do something stupid just to get out of it...but I fight that thought...everyday...because of these expactations and people who love me...and I try to convince myself it will get better but im exhausted...this fight is draining me...and I want everything to change already...its want a fucking merical...something to get me out of this rut im in...because I juat cant do this anymore...im fighting and im still not giving up but im afraid that...oneday I wont be me anymore and that protection of fighting will break and then...it will be to late...

I will try with every fiber of my being to keep that fight...and fight...but theres just so much you can take when your in this low rut...that comes up and down and up and down...and up and down like a figging roller coaster...and sometimes its just...unable to keep those ups for very long...and I lie to myself to keep fighting...but im to the point where...i just...cant keep doing that....an I need help...and thats gonna worry people...and I try to keep this to myself...and even now after writing this im regretting this...but this is needed to come out...i am not okay...im not normal...im dying inside everyday...this is serious...please help me...and I know...thats hard to hear for some people...and you guys just probably want the Ally before she went through trauma...and you just want to think lightly of me...and that im fine and content...and I want her back too...i try to keep her...but theres times I just cant and shes so far away ...and I wont be ending my life...but...im just...not okay...and idk what to tell anyone...cuz I have no clue how to fix it on my own...its hard to keep up this mask...that I hide...but the mask is crumbling...i cant keep it together for much longer...

I wish I was okay...but im not...and I really dont know what else I can do anymore...

I try to keep a content mindset...but...unfortonatly I really can't...i hope I get out of it...i want to be okay...but im not okay...and I domt want it to get it to thr point where I cant recover...so please if you can help me in anyway...please...do....its a mess up here...and by tomorrow im sure...ill act like im okay and the way i am is fine because I don't every time...don't listen to me...i need all the help and support and love and understanding I can get...but dont freak out because when you freak out im freaking out and that stresses me out more....just approach me with a calm state of mind...and try your best to help me...and forgive me if it doesnt sink in to me quickly...i need patiants and lots of it...not frustration...not being told im not. trying hard enough because that will make me feel resentful and that isnt good for anything... not for me and not for the help...so please if anyone can help me out...its appreciated...

[chaos-in-elysium]

I know no one asked but I wanted to make a list of my top ten favorite book series to see if I can finally make friends that know about some of the more unknown series

1.Harry potter

This was the first full length book series I ever read.  Back when I was young and in fourth grade I hated reading nothing seemed to keep my interest that is until my mom sat me down and forced me to read the first harry potter book so I could get my reading time in for school and that book single handedly ignited my love for reading also to my fellow potterheads reading this who want to know: I’m a slytherpuff 

2.A court of thorns and roses

I read this trilogy last year and loved it Feyre was the first character I had seen who looked like me the only character I have seen who was described with a near bronze hair color and blue grey eyes. That and the series had the proper amount of twists to keep my adhd brain captivated for longer then 15 minutes.

3. House of Night

Gods this series was and still is the longest series I’ve read it also gave me a series that gave a protagonist who believed in something similar to wicca which was a relief for my little baby witch self

4.Vampire Academy

This is like the other side of House of night they have a rather similar concept and I honestly adore both. Rose was one of the first female characters who I felt I could relate to because at the time a lot of female protagonists were Bella like or the perfect mary sues so Rose being so short tempered and flawed was great for my little middle school edgy bean heart

5.Throne of Glass

Yes this lower then ACOTAR but that’s mainly due to how many books it takes for the original plot point to take off It takes roughly three to four books(cant remember exactly) for the king to be defeated it just felt a bit slow but its still really good yet another female protagonist who’s a smart ass

6.Percy Jackson/Heros of olympus

Yes I’m gonna get shit for putting it this low but I read this in middles school and was a edgy little shit so Nico being gay threw me for a loop this series isnt low because of the books themselves but because of the cringey ass memories they bring up

7.Darkest powers

This was my third series ever and once again my edgy little heart loved it I’m a sucker for supernatural teens. But I do admit after reading some of the authors other works I realized how weak the series is compared to the rest you can tell the author isnt used to writing for teens still remember this series fondly

8.The Mortal instruments

Dear gods this series was long and the tv series ruined a lot of what I enjoyed about the series I liked some aspects like the demon types and runes but honestly the author doesnt know how to write teens considering Clary was fucking 16 in the first book and Jace is also 16 where the hell is their teenage stupidity? So yeah thats why its so low the teens dont act in even close to a real teen i know its a supernatural series but both house of night and vampire academy have the teens act like teens so its not that hard

9.Twilight

yes this series sucks but honestly at least the story isnt as contrived as the last entry that and I read the whole series in 5th grade so I thought it was the best thing ever written boy was I wrong but it honestly isnt the shit everyone claims it is though there are fucking confusing plot holes like: If humans cant even damage the vampires why is their existence hidden???

10. The red queen

Gods damn I hate this series so much to the point I read the last book and thought I missed a book or two cause the 2nd and 3rd books werent interesting enough for me to remember more then a few plot points the first book’s plot should have spanned one and a half books and the Maven twist should have been brought in half way through book two and spread through that cause Maven being the antag felt rushed also its ok to have a protag thats unlikeable is fine as long theres at least one thing that makes the readers like them Mare has none of that to the point if anything happened to her I didnt care at all she could have died and I probably would have cheered for how much I gave a shit about her. Sorry for the ranting but I do not understand how many people praise this series with how many many many flaws it has in character portrayal and pacing, 

[alicedoessurveys]

Doctor Who Tag

yes im a nerd...

CHILDHOOD

1. Did you like DW as a child?

I was 10 when it came back on telly with Eccleston and the first episode with the autons scared me so much my mom wouldn't let me watch it again until a couple years later, but yeah my teens I was obsessed with DW... still am at age 25

2. Your age at the time of the revival?

10

3. First DW episode you ever saw?

‘Rose’

4. Did you have any of the toys?

I still have the eleventh doctor’s screwdriver... I used to have some of the figures but there in storage now somewhere

5. Which DW character did you play on the playground?

didn't play it on the playground

6. Monster(s) that scared you most as a child?

all of them! the ones that still scare me now are the Cybermen and the Autons... genuinely cant walk past a shop mannequin without being suspicious 

7. Joke/story you didn’t get as a kid?

as a kid, any of the innuendo type jokes

8. DW opinion that has changed since you were a kid?

idk I think I still have the same opinions

9. Who introduced you to DW?

parents

10. Did you like Sarah Jane Adventures as a child?

I LOVED SJA!! I miss that show, and Elizabeth Slade :(

DOCTOR

11. Who is your Doctor?

Ten was the doctor that made me fall in love with Doctor Who 

12. Your favourite Doctor?

omg why not just ask me who my favourite child is... (I don't have kids but you know what I mean) if I had to chose my top three are ten, eleven and thirteen

13. Least favourite Doctor?

purely just because he doesn't have enough episodes... nine...

14. Best regeneration?

none of them I hate regenerations :( they make me sad, im too emotionally invested in every single one

15. Do you like “Doctor-Lite” episodes?

they're not my faves

16. Who is the most human Doctor?

I think nine maybe? or twelve?

17. Best multi-Doctor story?

the 50th anniversary special 

18. Best Doctor monologue?

“Hello Stonehenge! who takes the pandorica, takes the universe. but bad news everyone, cause guess who? HA! You lot you're all whizzing about- its really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute because I AM TALKING. Question of the hour is, who's got the pandorica? Answer, I do. Next question, who's coming to take it from me? Come on, look at me! No plan. No backup. No weapons worth a damn. oh and something else, I don't have anything to lose. So, if you're sitting up there in your silly little spaceship with all your silly little guns and you've got any plans on taking the pandorica tonight... just remember who's standing in your way. remember ever black day I ever stopped you and then- AND THEN- do the smart thing... let somebody else try first.”

not copied and pasted, remember that from the top of my head... its always there waiting in my mind incase I ever need an epic monologue :’)

19, What do you think TenToo/MetaCrisis Doctor is doing now?

hopefully living his best life with Rose

20. Best Doctor/companion pairing?

ten and donna 

COMPANIONS

21. Favourite companion?

Donna, Clara, Amy

22. Favourite secondary companion?

is Mickey classed as secondary? idk

23. Least favourite companion?

Ryan

24. Best TARDIS Team?

Doctor, Amy and Rory

25. Most underrated companion?

Graham, but that may just be cause I love Bradders

26. Most overrated companion?

Rose... I like her but idk, I think she gets more hype than she deserves.. don't @ me

27. Favourite companion’s family?

Rose’s mom

28. Who should have been a companion but wasn’t?

idk I cant think of anyone

29. Favourite (canon or non-canon) DW universe relationship?

Amy and Rory

30. Who did you not used to like, but really like now?

wasn't keen on Bill at first but by the end I really liked her, same with Rory

EPISODES

31. Favourite episode ever?

girl in the fireplace

32. Least favourite episode?

most of Chibnall’s episodes tbh sorry not sorry 

33. Which episodes do you skip?

the regeneration episodes

34. Best two-parter?

Human Nature - Family of Blood

35. Historical, present day or futuristic episodes?

I like them all in there own way but I think present is fave, then historical, then future

36. Episode that will always make you smile?

all of them

37. Episode that will always make you cry?

Rory and Amy’s last episode :’(

38. Best run of episodes?

ugh I cant answer this theres too many 

39. Best cliffhanger?

the end of Spyfall part one when the Master reveals who he is... I was SHOOK

40. Favourite Christmas special?

Voyage of the Damned

SERIES

41. Classic Who or New Who?

new who

42. Favourite series?

four or five

43. Least favourite series?

eleven, I just cant with the writing

44. Which series do you skip?

none

45. Favourite series opening?

eleventh hour

46. Favourite series finale?

Doomsday

47. Best series arc?

Bad Wolf

48. Thoughts on series 11/12?

I adore Jodie Whittaker and her doctor, and although I think 3 companions is too many I do love Yaz and Graham (Ryan is hit & miss). I just think theyve been massively let down by the stories/writing... they’ve tried to hard to tick certain boxes and completely missed what Doctor Who is about for a lot of people.. an escape from the real world into these outrageous unbelievable but lovable fun alien adventures 

49. How much of Classic Who have you seen?

not a lot

50. Who should have had another series?

NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE 

MONSTERS

51. Favourite monster/villain?

the master 

52. Most creative monster?

Weeping Angels, whoever came up with monsters that look like statues and only move when you're not looking at them is genius 

53. Monster(s) that scares you most?

Autons, Cybermen, the creepy dolls from Night Terrors, the ones from Waters of Mars, Weeping Angels

54. Monster you think is too easy to defeat?

idk

55. Least favourite monster/villain?

absorbaloff

56. Monster you want to return?

The Master, I really hope that isn't the last we see of Dhawan

57. In your opinion, what makes a monster good?

being genuinely scary, 

58. Daleks, Cybermen or Weeping Angels?

Weeping Angels

59. Best Dalek story?

Daleks in Manhatten

60. Best one time villain/monster?

my brain has gone blank I cant think of an answer right now 

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

61. Torchwood or Sarah Jane Adventures?

SJA

62. Favourite Torchwood Team member?

I haven't watched it all so I couldn't say 

63. Which Torchwood death made you saddest?

again, not watched it all 

64. Do you rewatch COE or MD?

huh

65. Favourite SJA Team member?

Sarah Jane

66. Mr Smith or K-9?

K-9

67. Maria or Rani?

Rani

68. Do you read the comics/novels or listen to Big Finish?

Nope

69. If you do, your favourite additional stories?

n/a

70. Do you like DW analysis (video essays, fan theories, etc)?

yes

DESIGN/PRODUCTION

71. Favourite piece of alien tech?

the sonic, I love how it is so multipurpose except for when it comes to wood 

72. Favourite piece of Murray Gold music?

I am the Doctor - gets me pumped every time 

73. Favourite TARDIS design?

Ten’s Tardis 

74. Has the 2005 era CGI aged well?

actually yeah, I was rewatching the ‘are you my mummy’ episodes the other day and my God when the gas masks emerged from the faces... ooooooof I was like omg how 

75. Favourite Doctor outfit?

eleven or thirteen

76. Monster with the best design?

not really a design more of a costume.. I live Dhawan master’s costume. that shade of purple, oof he so stylish 

77. Best show runner?

idk

78. Best writer?

Gatiss

79. Best opening titles?

eleven’s titles where the Tardis is flying and being zapped is cool but thirteens music hits different 

80. Will DW age well/stay popular in the future?

I hope so, I feel like its lasted this long surely it can last forever.. if the writers don't fuck it up... 

IF YOU WERE IN THE SHOW

81. Time period you’d want to go with the Doctor?

whatever time means Id get to wear the most beautiful costumes

82. Planet/place you’d want to go with the Doctor?

Galifrey, pre-desctruction

83. Doctor you’d most like to travel with?

any of them, please and thank you

84. Companion you’d most like to travel with?

donna, sceso a good laugh but also I feel like she’d look after me 

85. Monster you’d like to defeat/fight?

The Master 

86. If you could go back on your own history (like Father’s Day), where would you go?

back to when I was a toddler, I wanna see what I was like 

87. If you could ask the Doctor anything, what would you ask?

theres too many to ask 

88. Historical figure you’d like to meet?

Shakespeare

89. How do you think you’d meet the Doctor?

id probably be rescued from doing something stupid and then the doc would be like you know what the bitch clearly needs supervision she's coming with me 

90. Would you travel forwards or backwards in time first?

backwards

IF YOU MADE THE SHOW

91. Historical event would you like to see in DW?

Hamilton

92. Issue you’d like to see addressed in DW?

idk 

93. Who would you completely erase from the DW universe?

Ruth

94. One unanswered DW question you’d love to know the answer to?

where is Clara now?

95. Actor/actress you’d like to see play the Doctor?

Phoebe Waller Bridge (or Lin Manuel Miranda)

96. Actor/actress you’d like to see play a companion?

Andrew Scott (yes I did just basically recast fleabag and hot priest)

97. Is DW “too political”?

series 11 got a bit like that 

98. Which characters fate would you changed?

Danny Pink

99. What about DW could be improved?

I think ive made my options about Chibnall pretty clear... 

100. If you could write an episode of DW, any ideas for what you’d do

bring back Jenny, the Doctor / Daughter adventures they would have. I’m actually writing a fic about it if you wanna read.... here