#god fuck i feel sick loooool

[senseless-blabbering]

wow my friend did a thing just the day we're supposed to meet that i really didn't fucking like and i let him know and thank god he's not protesting about it. yet. jesus fcking christ i lowkey feel sick lol

[grimsneverendingfuneral]

Okay so I’m officially in love with your Rosekiller (they’re so ACCURATE), please indulge us in your Wolfstar headcanons 🎤

loooool ok anon youre cute so i'll do it but fucking hell wolfstar headcanons will be the death of me cause ive spent literally almost the same amount of time thinking about them as i have thinking about my own goddamn OCs

well the sirius i have in my head is a sickeningly blinding cosmic event (oh thatsgood). he's a walking paradox. he's impulsive and boisterous and laughs loudly but he's also intentional, fragile, vulnerable, dainty even. he walks like he knows exactly where he's going at all times, languid and relaxed, head held high. he wears whatever he wants. sometimes it's feminine, sometimes it's masculine, sometimes it's both. but even when he's wearing his blue jeans and leather jacket, he always looks regal, a little bit girlish, nose turned upwards and eyes twinkling with secret emotions only few people can decipher. he's loyal to a fault and it makes him crazy. the way he loves is testing. he's highly educated, writes only in cursive though he holds the pen with hatred. he grits his teeth in his sleep. has major anxiety. sometimes he can barely get a bite of food in him because he always feels sick. he hides it well but not so well. its all in his eyes, everything. you just gotta look. in my head he's half english half french, from la Corse. Corsica babyyyyy. he's a virtuoso with the piano and has a perfect ear. like, you could literally ask him what note your overheating laptop is making and he'll be like "hmm Si bémol." only knows music theory in french. he will kill for you but not die for you. he's almost nauseatingly driven. like, one track mind kind of person. if he has a goal, its getting done no matter how long it takes him. it gets him what he wants but it also makes him insufferable sometimes because there's no talking sense into him. he's sweet as a fucking button, though, my sirius. so so sweet. when he smiles you just wanna keep making him smile, when he laughs you just wanna get on your knees and beg he never stop. he's got the energy of a thousand suns, but has his moments of complete quiet and solitude. he needs those. at least once a day. he sleeps with the covers over his head, like an animal. if you're looking for sirius and you cant find him, look for a bump in the blankets. he'll be there. he also has crazy nightmares. like the type of person that just has nightmares every night. he's woken up at least once like in the movies, sprung up in bed screaming. also sleeps like he tosses and TURNS GOD and sometimes remus literally cannot stand it. the things he loves like music movies and books become his whole personality, he's very very obsessive with the things he loves. he'll talk your ear off about them if you ask him to. he like almost identifies with whatever he loves at that moment. he can cook. he's a good cook. homely stuff, like mashed potatoes and pie. he has the best table manners and doesnt really like people who dont. gives bombastic side eye in a way that makes it almost too funny not to laugh when you catch it. he loves to speak with his eyes, he's so good at it its scary.

remus. oh myyy goooooddd remus. no i just. i really really love him guys. okay my remus is half Polish half Welsh. his skin is fucking soft, idk thats just always sometimes that sits in my mind, like yes he has scars but the skin around them is just really fucking soft. he always smells kind of soft, too. contrary to sirius, who's all sharp features and contrasting hair on his pale skin, remus is just soft all over, actually. everything blends in real nice. his eyes are a shade of amber that is never quite the same in any lighting. watery eyes. sparkling eyes. Roman nose PLEASE. he's an avid smoker. he's a stoner, yes but he doesn't act like one. like he can hold his fuckin smoke. he has insomnia. his mind never stops. he takes in the world with wonder, always romanticizing everything. everything is beautiful and it breaks his heart. very protective of his heart but he wants so badly to just love freely and openly and avidly the way sirius does, or the way james does. he's not an asshole, but has asshole-ish tendencies. like he can be a bit dry and cold sometimes or aloof, but he doesn't really notice until someone mentions it then he's like oh shit my bad. he talks MAD SHIT. loves to talk shit. he's good at it too, you'll laugh with the digs he comes up with. RESTING BITCH FACE. please yes. he looks full of disdain, bored, but he's having the time of his life dont worry. sarcastic, always. but the funny kind, the silly kind. like youll ask him "hey can you get this thing for me" and he'l reply "no" while doing it. you never really know where you stand with him and its kind of his fatal flaw, like he always seems to have one foot out the door. when he loves you though, he is the LEAST judgmental person you'll ever meet. like seriously thats the way he loves. he embraces all parts of you, lets you evolve and change and make mistakes. he loves to be a guard dog. he is very protective. he's also mid. like looks wise, i love a mid remus. in the sense that, he's not striking, heads don't necessarily turn when he walks into a room, or they do but its only cause he's tall. but when he speaks, all solid cadence and a crinkly smile, you're like oh. oh. he's hot. also cant keep socks matched to save his life. they're always mismatched and even when he takes them out of the dryer, he doesnt bother to find the matching ones he just bunches them up together. drives sirius fucking mad.

i could keep going like its so bad. its so bad. im down bad

[breaddo]

what if i just . dont sleep lol

[crossbows-and-moonshine]

Blood in the Water (Sequel to Such a Softer Sin) Chapter 11

(Chapter 1)

(Chapter 2)

(Chapter 3)

(Chapter 4)

(Chapter 5)

(Chapter 6)

(Chapter 7)

(Chapter 8)

(Chapter 9)

(Chapter 10)

This is where things are majorly canon divergent. I’m making up the timeline and I’m aware they try to take out Papa Joe the day after the poker game, but this is my shit and I’m making it up as I go along now in order for my story to work. If you’re here for a strictly canon fic, you’re in the wrong place. I warned you from the start. I hope you guys like this. Or not...since bad shit happens, but ya know… :’)

Warning for intense feels and sadness.

You guys are gonna hate me after this one but there’s a reason for everything, just push through it loooool

----------------------------------------

It had been one whole month since Lila heard from the boys, a fucking month. She had been worried mercilessly about them, watching the news with a pit in her stomach as she heard about every time they righteously rid Boston of more vermin. They hadn't called, they hadn't got a hold of her at all and she felt sick with worry. Worry they would get themselves killed, worried they'd never come back, worried she would never see them again. She couldn't feel them, of course she couldn’t with them not by her side. It was all gone, the only reminder of their presence in her life was the painful burning hole in her chest and the baby in her belly. Her sickness had eased off, but she was around 11 weeks pregnant now, and the boys were just gone. Murphy had said in his letter that he hoped one day they would come back for her, and she tried to hold onto that hope like it was the only thing keeping her breathing.

As the month wore on, the worry and pain turned to blind rage. Rage at being left behind, at the boys for not bothering to let her know if they were even okay or not. It was like they didn't care anymore. She understood why they had gone, why they were doing what they did, of course she did. But the time after their first real hit, how worried she had been, Connor had promised her, her place was by their side, and nothing would change that. And then he came up with the idea to fucking leave her. Now she couldn’t tell them she was carrying their child and she had to do this alone, worrying every day that they would turn up on the news, captured or fucking dead. When she shared that dream with them, it had let her feel the burning need to act on the calling God had given them, she knew without a doubt they had to do it. But she didn't sign up for this shit. To just be left behind in the dirt like a used ragdoll and knocked up. It was one thing for them to be out risking their lives, it was a whole other thing to be abandoned completely.

Lila had thrown herself into work to take her mind off things, she needed to keep herself busy. The patrons of the bar knew something was going on. The boys and Rocco were never there anymore and Lila was a shell of her former self. She never smiled, not once. And every time the news came on in the pub she went rigid, like she was expecting to hear the worst news she could ever receive. The regulars there just knew, they didn’t know how but they knew the Saints were the boys, and they were glad. The city needed fucking cleaning up and they couldn't think of more righteous boys to do it. But it hurt them all to see the aftermath of it, what it had done to the redhead that used to be so fiery and happy. She was just empty now. Aileen was worried about her, she would call a cab every night to make sure she got home safely and sometimes pop in to see her at the loft during the day. She wasn't looking after herself. Aileen had to tell her to shower and even brush her hair for her sometimes when it ended up a tangled mess. The older woman was severely worried about the girl's mental state, especially since she was now with child.

After Lilas shift that night, she went out for the cab but it wasn't there. She waited in the cold for about five minutes before she huffed. She started walking. She wasn't about to wait around forever and she didn't want to go back in the pub and ask about it. She was sick of the looks of pity everyone gave her when she was there. It had become common knowledge that she was pregnant, and with the twins gone and the people knowing what they were doing, it was obvious she was left alone to care for herself and her unborn baby. The air would do her good anyway. She was almost home, she could see the building and she pulled her jacket around herself to fight off the cold. But suddenly she was grabbed from behind and a hand clamped down on her mouth. She tried to scream but it was muffled as she was dragged into an alley. Suddenly something hit her in the head and everything went black.

Lila wasn't sure how long she had been in this small room, lay on the floor in and out of consciousness. She had been beaten within an inch of her life, ironically for information about her boys. Apparently, Papa Joe thought she knew where they were hiding, she almost laughed at the boys plan to keep her safe. She had no idea where they were so she couldn't even tell them. Not that she would just to save herself. She wouldn’t have told them shit anyway. But because he thought she was lying, he showed her no mercy. They had stripped her to her underwear to humiliate her as they beat her. Her whole body was covered in bruises and welts. She was pretty sure she had a cracked rib or five at this point. Her left eye was swollen shut completely, she had a gash on her cheekbone. Her lip was split and her nose was pouring in blood, no doubt broken. In other words, she was a mess.

She had begged with them, pleaded and told them she was pregnant, but that didn't stop them, as if they knew the baby belonged to the boys and they wanted to take that away from them. They had kicked her in the stomach repeatedly and she could feel the sticky wetness between her thighs. She knew what they had done. They had killed her baby, taken away the only thing she had left to live for. She had nothing left now and her heart was hollow as she tried to retreat into herself to shut off the pain.

It wasn't the body that was causing the most pain, it was her heart. She was sure she would die inside this tiny room alone, and her mind deciding to be a traitor, had made her hallucinate the boys more than a few times. They weren't her boys though, they were devils disguised as angels, whispering horrible things to her and telling her to just give up. She was well on her way to giving up. She just wanted the pain to stop. She wanted to be killed before the boys found out she was taken so they didn't do anything fucking stupid, acting like heroes and getting themselves killed. Her baby was gone, she didn't care now what happened to her, it wasn't like she had a reason to keep breathing anyway, her grief was suffocating her. She couldn't hear properly from the blows to the head, she wondered idly if her brain was bleeding or something or she’d have some sort of brain damage. They had not been easy on the small girl by a long shot.

She felt drugged, completely out of it. She hadn't even heard someone come in the room, but suddenly there was a hand in her hair yanking her to stand. Her legs were shaky and weak, she wasn't sure if she made a noise or not, all she could hear was the whooshing of her own blood in her very sore ears. Hell, even her hair hurt at this point. She could feel the blood dripping down her legs and it made her heart clench, the painful reminder of what they had taken away from her. She was dragged along, everything was blurry and it felt like the whole world was moving around her. Like she was on a ship getting crashed about at sea. Suddenly she was in another room, she closed her good eye from the light that sent a pain through her skull. She could hear shouting of some sort, but it sounded so far away, like she was under water. Her legs got kicked out to make her kneel and her sore knees hit the floor painfully.

She was swaying as she kneeled, head lolling about as she fought to stay awake, and the hand in her hair was tight as it yanked her head back a little. She felt it then, the cold metal pressed against her temple. She hoped it was merciful and quick, just to be put down like a wounded animal. She could hear the shouting get even louder and she fluttered her good eye open, it was hard to focus and it took a moment for things to stop being so blurry and then she saw them. Her boys and Rocco, tied to chairs, bloodied and beaten. She couldn't really hear who was doing what, all the noise was loud and muffled in her ears. But Connor was yanking in his binds trying to get his arms free, yelling ferociously. He looked beyond pissed, the vein in his head looked ready to burst. Rocco looked shell shocked, sat between the boys as he looked pleading at the man who was holding her at gunpoint. And Murphy, poor sweet Murphy was hysterical. Thrashing so wildly in his chair it kept almost falling over as he yelled and screamed, tears falling down his face. She felt bad for them almost. But she knew they weren't real, just like the other times she had seen them since she had been here. Devils disguised as angels.

She closed her eye, acceptance washing over her, this was how she died, she prayed it be quick and that the boys never knew of what happened to her so they didn't try to seek revenge. She imagined this kind of resolution was how Murphy had felt, the day the Russians came for them at the loft, handcuffing his twin to the toilet and marched him to his death. She had been confused then, she had seen the acceptance wash over him, giving up a fight, not pleading, nothing. He was just ready. And now she was too. She could still hear the shouting and she heard her name, or what sounded like her name being thrown about. She opened her eye again, head dropping slightly from how weak she was. Murphy was looking at her now, right at her, his face filled with so much pain. He kept glancing at her legs, the blood, to someone that didn't know she was pregnant it probably looked like she had been brutally raped. He was sobbing, he looked like he was pleading with her as he shook his head but she couldn't hear him. He wasn't real. It was all in her mind.

The gun suddenly moved from her head and she was confused, that was until Rocco flew backwards in his chair as a gunshot rang through her sore ears making them ring. The boys were thrashing, falling down next to their best friend. She vaguely registered someone wailing like a banshee, it took a moment to realise the noise was coming from her. This didn't feel right. It didn't feel like the hallucinations, the boys never got hurt in those, they were just mean to her and hurt her. The sudden realization that this was very real, that these were her boys, and Rocco had just been shot weighed heavy in her heart. But once again, something hard came down on her temple, leaving everything steeped in darkness.

Taglist; @risingphoenix761 @daryldixonandfrogs @arlaina28 @divadinag

[mayapenelopeclutterbucket]

My irrelevant thoughts about tgd I had while watching and I insist on sharing so SPOILERS for 2x01 HELLO

Also please feel free to comment on anything I've said I'd looooove to talk about it with somebody

-Omg that look Claire and Melendez exchanged 😍😍

-Fucking Andrews still hate him of course his bitch ass is still exploiting people

-Aaaand I still hate morgan leave my baby alone about Jared you don't have to love anyone 😑 plz don't take all the credit morgan

-I'm already gonna miss Jared 😩😩 I wish he wouldn't leave

-Jesus fuck Andrews you're awful

-I am reading way too much into the looks Melendez and Claire are giving each other and how the camera keeps panning to both of them 😂

-And fuck I just know morgan wants to screw Claire over so if the idea fails then it's her fault and I was just about to say how proud I was for them all taking credit

-😭😩 shauuuun I'm gonna misss his friendship with Jared

-Damn jared dropping truth bombs

-😭😭 I'm already crying I'm so happy Shaun joined glassmen glassman? I still don't know the spelling oh Shaun

-I feel like there are way to many god damn commercials

-Aww Shaun asking for help of course my baby Jared can't say no

-Allegra was right tho glassman low key manipulative actually high key but because he's sick I'm overlooking a few things

-Loooool Andrews knows the way to Neil by buttering him up my arrogant little surgeon 😍

-And every episode is determined to make me cry Shaun you don't need to be cured and yes he is a FUCKING DOCTOR

-This heart surgery has me stresssssed

-Shaun was worried Jared wouldn't back him but Jared always will 😭😭 my babies the touching omgggg

-Yaaaaaassss my baby Claire can do it all BUT HOLY SHIT I AM NOT IMAGINING THOSE GLANCE SHARED BETWEEN CLAIRE AND NEIL MY MELENDAIRE HEART IS FUCKING SOARINGGG

-FUCKING SUCK IT MORGAN MY BABY CLAIRE IS DEFINITELY GONNA GET THE RESIDENT POSITION (if that's still a thing??)

-Uh oh does Melendez regret doing what Andrews wanted and is he gonna hate working with him

-Nooooo you can't take this Jared/Shaun friendship away from me aaand I'm crying again

-Glassman finally tell Shaun he can do whatever he wants and Shaun making me want to cry

-Omg no I can't have both claire and Jared cry the core four aren't gonna be together anymore I can't take it!!!! 😭😭

-I never shipped them but they're still so precious now Melendez should've comforted my bby Claire

-Omg I just made a shocked gasp and squeal I KNEW SHE WAS COMING BACK BUT I WASNT EXPECTING HER JUST YET OMGG YAAAASSSS IVE MISSED LEA SO MUCH

-FUCK I THOUGHT THIS EPISODE WAS EMOTIONAL NEXT WEEK IS GOING TO BE WORSE MELENDAIRE AND SHEA IS ALREADY MAKING ME CRYYY

-BUT YES CLAIRE AND LEA WILL MEET tffff did Shaun just get punched?!

Ok I'm so pumped and have missed this show so freaking much!! And I'm happy to be posting about it again and talking with you guys about it

[morganalefay]

part 1: omg I'm not the only one who is sick of all these new supergirl/superc*rp "fans" holy shit they're the worst, first of all saying "kashy mcgra" SHE NEVER SAID THAT? then claiming 100% she's a lesbian and she's just hiding that like bish don't go around making claims about someone's sexuality specially someone private like katie oh god I can't believe I'm saying this but wow I miss the merlin days, can't wait for this fiasco to be over

part 2: also lena started out so well but now she’s basically modern morgana and while I LOVE my bb Morgana it’s not like they’ve rectified morgana’s shitty storyline, they’re literally it seems like copying from her previous work loooool, what even? I can’t, when will katie be free?            

YESSSSS i love you, i have blacklisted superc*rp and had to untrack the katie tag after 7 years because i was so tired of the insanity. and you’re definitely not alone, i know a lot of original merlin fans who feel this way too.

but seriously FUCK THE KASHY MCGRA SHIT!!! her name is KA-TIE damn it, and her last name is MCGRATH– that’s just how you fucking pronounce it, it’s not her accent or her “saying it wrong” (i feel like katie would be so uncomfortable with this, it’s just plain ignorant and insulting)

as for her sexuality, i am so with you. katie has always been private, but she has discussed flirting with guys before and her tastes in men, so stop trying to force this belief that she’s a lesbian unless she says otherwise! and while she obviously loves and respects women, she is not always making things gay– it’s actually really insulting to her as an actress to say that she “can’t play straight” or is always going against directors wishes or something. and the people that tried to say she was why melissa left her husband are just LOWWW, like this is real people’s lives here, stop being assholes

and yes, i am so over lena already, i hope they kill her off for katie’s sake. the girl is talented, why give her recycled storylines? stop trying to typecast her and give her a chance for something new, damn it!

#FREEKATIEMCGRATH