#god forbid i had a JOB or something christ!!!!

[alexfromjersey]

ℂ𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕 | 𝕁𝕖𝕟𝕟𝕒 𝕆𝕣𝕥𝕖𝕘𝕒

Jenna Ortega x Black!Reader

summary: you and jenna have been in a relationship for the past eight years when suddenly everything starts to get rocky.

warnings: mature language, angst, violence, jenna doing some dirty shit

a/n: idk why but I wanted to write some angsty 😬? God forbid this ever happened to me cause I’ll be in jail…

“Who is she Y/n?”

That was the first thing you heard when you walked into your home after a long day at work. You just got off an agonizing 12-hour shift at the warehouse and all you wanted to do was shower, eat, and then sleep.

“Who is who Jenna?” You tiredly questioned as you pulled off your boots and work jacket.

First of all let me say, you can’t accuse me of all the things, you know you’re guilty of

“The woman you’ve been sneaking around with” Jenna answered and sipped her wine. Her eyes never leaving your figure.

You sighed, “Please don’t start this shit again tonight please I’m exhausted.”

That it is easy for you to blame everything on me

“I wonder why. Too exhausted from all the lying, the sneaking around, fucking her, and giving her all the attention that’s supposed to be for me” Jenna snapped.

“How many times do I have to say that I’m not fucking anyone, Jenna! What’s your problem? For the past two weeks, you’ve been accusing me of seeing some imaginary woman when all I do is work and come home to you. I don’t even go out with my friends anymore when will I have time to cheat on you” You questioned her loudly.

“How do I know you’re going to work? You could easily say it and go somewhere else” Jenna said.

“Jesus Christ you have my location on your phone!” You shouted.

“You could have left it at your job and left to go sleep with her” Jenna shrugged.

If that’s the case I should go have my fun and do all the things you say I do

You scoffed and just let out a laugh, “How fucked up in the head are you? Maybe I should do all this shit since you think that’s my grandmaster scheme. Drive almost an hour away to go to work, leave my phone at my job, miss out on a shift that makes me lose money, and go fuck a girl.”

You laughed and walked straight past the woman. You walked up the stairs and into your bedroom. Your patience was wearing thin and if you didn’t step away from her, you were going to say something to really hurt her feelings.

Girl, I can’t continue to take this from you

“I can’t fucking win with this girl man. Ever since she came back from filming that new movie, she’s been on a thousand. Accusing me of cheating and lying shit. I don’t do anything but go to work and go home” You ranted to your best friend Donny.

It was your day off, you sitting on your front porch watching the cars pass by when you felt the need to vent to someone. You haven’t seen Jenna since last night, you slept on the couch and when you woke up she was nowhere to be seen. She only left a note telling you that she was going to be hanging with Emma. You invited Donny over to hang out for a little.

“Maybe she just needs some of that groundbreaking pipe” Donny chuckled.

“I would if she let me touch her. She won’t let me go near her to initiate anything. Haven’t had sex since she left and I haven’t stepped out once” You stated.

“Oof you better than me. I would have cheated as soon as she left” Donny admitted unashamed.

“Yeah that’s why your ass is single” You chuckled.

Donny chuckled also and shrugged, “I’m just keeping it real.”

Suddenly, a message notification came from the top of your phone. It was from one of your co-workers that you used to go get a drink with.

When you say I was out with somebody else when my girl told me she saw you with some girl

Kai:

yo I just seen your girl

Your eyes furrowed at the message.

You:

seen her where?

Kai:

the shopping center a town over. I’m out with my daughter and she pointed her out. she walked away from some tall-looking man but I’m pretty sure it was her

At the mention of a man, you furrowed your eyebrows. She told you she was hanging with Emma today. You needed to get to the bottom of this. You found Jenna’s number and just as you were about to click it. A FaceTime call from her came.

You answered it and all you saw was the roof of a car. You go to say something but you hear the sound of a soft moan in the background. You put yourself on mute and turn your volume up.

“Oh my…you feel so good baby” You heard Jenna moan.

Donny’s eyes widen at the sound coming from your phone. He was in disbelief that this was happening to you.

Your heart starts beating faster and faster. Your hand kept clenching and unclenching in anger. You wanted to say something or do something but you were frozen.

Jenna’s moans continued to increase in volume and you saw the phone bounce from the movement of the car.

“I love you Luis” You heard Jenna shriek and the slapping sound increased. You then saw the phone move to a position that’ll forever be engraved in your mind. You quickly took a screenshot and hung up the phone.

It was silence for a few moments. Neither you nor Donny making a move or uttering a word. But your hands kept clenching and unclenching into fists and Donny noticed. He looks at you in concern but you pay him no mind.

You abruptly stood up from the chair and stormed into the house. Donny was hot on your heels concerned and slightly scared.

“Y/n?” Donny asked you but you ignored him. You practically run up the steps and burst into your shared room. You start to throw open all the drawers and throw out everything. You didn’t know what you were doing, just angry. You started throwing anything breakable into the wall.

The once organized and clean room was now in disarray. Clothes, shoes, and personal items were thrown and broken everywhere. Next, you moved to the walk-in closet. You threw every piece of clothing on the floor, moved the boxes from the top shelves, and threw shoes everywhere. But then you noticed a small LV purse, you got her for her birthday last year. It was tucked in a deep dark corner, you would have missed it if it wasn’t for one of her other bags falling out of place. You grabbed it, opened it, and dumped everything onto the bed.

What you saw officially confirmed your fears. It was Polaroid pictures of her and a guy you’ve met numerous times. It was one of her co-stars, Luis Gutierrez. Pictures of them kissing, at the state fair, and one in a bed.

The same bed you and her sleep in.

“Y/n…” Donny cautiously stepped towards it before his eyes landed on something on the bed. You look to where his eyes are and landed on a half of heart necklace with the initial “L” engraved into it.

After seeing that, you grabbed your jacket and left the disarrayed house with Donny following.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Dude I think you should slow down on the drinking,” Donny said to you in concern.

“I think you should shut the fuck up and let me drink in peace” You snapped at the male and downed two more shots. That marks it as your fourth and fifth shot.

Donny didn’t take your words to heart either. He knew you were hurting badly. The only way you knew how to deal with that pain was by drinking until you passed out…a trait you learned from your mother.

You still didn’t feel drunk enough so you ordered another round of shots. Donny just watch you take them back like water.

“Eight years Donny…eight fucking years I gave her. All those years down the drain. She was accusing me of cheating when SHE was the fucking one sleeping with someone else!” Your voice raised in the building.

Thankfully, there weren’t many people in the bar but the ones who were turned to look at the commotion.

“I understand but calm down-”

“Man don’t tell me to fucking calm down. How the fuck am I supposed to be calm about this? My girlfriend accidentally FaceTimed me and practically showed me her fucking someone.” You laughed.

“Hey take that shit somewhere else” An angry customer demanded.

“Who the fuck is talking to you Mr. Clean” You insulted the man. He didn’t like that and he pushed you. You stumbled back into the counter but quickly recovered and pushed the man as hard as you could.

“Hey! Enough!” Donny shouted and pulled you away from the man.

“Get the fuck off me” You pushed Donny’s hands off you and walked out of the bar into the autumn weather.

You didn’t live far from the bar you were just at. You take some shortcuts and you’ll be home in 10 minutes but you wanted to take the scenic route which added an extra 8 minutes to the walk.

While you walked, you had to figure out your next move. You and Jenna share a house, a car, and a dog together. As much as you wanted to, you couldn’t just up and leave. It wasn’t as easy for you as it was for her.

On your walk home, you stopped by a liquor store. You bought yourself a bottle of Tequila and started drinking it on your walk. You were well aware that you could potentially get arrested for public intoxication but you didn’t care.

Just when it seemed like you were calming down, God decided to hate you even more than he already did.

A honk of a horn and a shout of your name made you turn around to the source. A familiar red Audi pulled up next to you and parked. The man responsible for your current rage hopped out of the car with the woman you used to love.

“Y/n? What are you doing walking like this?” Jenna questioned.

“Yeah, and why you got a bottle of Tequila” Luis innocently questioned.

You stared at the male with a blank expression, “I’m clearing my head.”

Jenna scoffed, “Clearing your head for what? Got something you want to tell me.”

Your eyes cut to her and she didn’t make it noticeable but she jumped at the sight of your dark emotionless eyes.

“Nah I get it, sometimes you just need a few minutes to yourself. I get like that all the time especially when I’m home. I’m so used to…”

Your eyes stared into his before wandering down to his neck where you see a faint bruise there. Your eyes then land on a silver necklace, similar to the one you found around his neck. The necklace had a “J” initial engraved on it. Your hand tightens around the neck of the bottle.

Your eyes then glance at Jenna who was staring at Luis with a look she used to give you.

“Y/n?” Luis called.

His voice goes distorted and starts to fade away as a blinding rage starts to take over. Before you know it or stop yourself, you swing the bottle and it connects with Luis’ head.

“OH MY GOD!” Jenna screamed.

Luis fell against his car, blood dripping down the side of his head. You didn’t waste any time and hopped on top of him and landed punches to his face.

You were blinded by your anger, by the betrayal, and by the emptiness you had inside of you.

“Y/N STOP!” Jenna yelled and tried to pull off Luis but you wouldn’t budge. You kept landing punch after punch after punch to his face. Your hand went numb and blood coated it. You were finally tackled off the unconscious male by two police officers.

“Put your hands behind your back!” One of the officers yelled and forcefully pulled your arm back. They slap handcuffs on your wrists and harshly stand you up.

As you walk past, you see Jenna and a couple of bystanders standing over Luis. She then looked at you but you averted your eyes. You kept your face expressionless as you were loaded into the back of the cruiser.

Or maybe I, I should have done it, should have given away all my love or maybe I, I should have played you, 'cause you don't appreciate me, no

The loud sound of a jail buzzer wakes you up from your slumber. You open your eyes to realize that you’re still in a jail cell with three other people. You look down at your aching hands to see them bruise up and dried blood on them.

Blood that wasn’t yours. You’ve been in this cell sobering up for the past nine hours.

“Y/n! You’ve been bailed out” A guard shouted. You stood up from the seat and walked to the door. Another buzz was heard and the door swung open. You stepped out and followed the guard to the front.

Once you got to the front, you saw Jenna standing there with an angry and frustrated expression on her face. You sighed and you grabbed your things before signing some paperwork with much difficulty. But once you were finished, you didn’t say a word to Jenna, you just left the police station.

“Y/n? Hello? Are you going to fucking explain yourself? What the hell is wrong with you?” Jenna snapped at you.

You ignored her and continued walking. But Jenna wasn’t having that, she jogged in front of you and stepped in your path. You tried to walk around her but she just followed her.

“You almost fucking killed Luis, Y/n. Do you not realize that?” Jenna seethed.

“Leave me alone Jenna” You mumbled and finally went around her but she was at your side in a second.

“No, I won’t leave you! You beat Luis so badly that he had to go to the hospital for stitches and a concussion. You’re not explaining to me why!” Jenna yelled.

You let out an angry breath and your eyes glare at her. This makes Jenna jump a bit because she’s never seen you this angry before.

“You wanna know why? You wanna fucking know why I should have killed that fucking bastard! Here!” You shouted and you pulled out your phone and showed her a screenshot you took. You then pulled the pictures you took from her bag and threw them at her chest.

“You are a fucking hypocrite Jenna. You accused me of fucking cheating on you when in actual reality, you were the one sleeping with another man. I gave you eight years…eight fucking years of unconditional love. Eight years of being by your side. Eight years of being loyal. Not once did I ever give you a reason to question my loyalty to you!” You shouted at the girl.

Jenna’s eyes widen as the biggest secret of hers has finally been discovered.

“You made me feel like I was the bad guy. I stopped hanging out with my friends. I stopped going out to places. I did anything and everything I could to try to fix what was broken between us” You fumed as your voice cracked. Tears were threatening to spill down your cheeks as you finally let your emotions out.

“Y/n…I-”

“You had him in our bed. You fucking FaceTimed me in the middle of you sleeping with him in his car. How much more disrespect do you think I can tolerate?” You cried. The tears now falling freely down your face. But you wiped them aggressively from your face.

“I should have fucking cheated,” You said and left her standing in front of the police station.

a/n: so…I’m watching the vmas right now and SZA should have won song of the year but we ain’t gon get into that 🙂…

[auspicioustidings]

Lost Boys

4. Little Den

Summary: Preacher does the day shift and meets the supposed monster.

Words: 2.1k

CWs: Nothing major, but as with this whole series it skews darker than what I usually write

Christ, she had been unaware you could get DOMs from a threesome but here it was. She had been sore yesterday sure, but maybe the food and beer had been masking it because today she was in pain. No more pleasant aches and hazey horniness, something that was being sorely missed. Still, it wasn’t like bills would wait and she really wanted to actually do this place up, that would require funds and funds would require working.

Definitely the day shift, another night with those two maniacs and she’d be on bed rest for a bloody month. So she dragged herself up, showered and threw on jeans and a flannel that she could take off and tie around her waist if it got too hot. 

The way Alex had reacted to seeing her was odd, very odd. She knew plenty of people would drift through, pick up a shift and then move on, but his surprise that she was back was genuinely like he had been 100% positive he would never see her again. Had she come off as that flakey? She had told him that first day that she had moved here hadn’t she? Odd, very odd.

“If you don’t need me I can ask around.”

“No! No no, you can take the day shift. Opening is in 45 minutes.”

He was eyeing her neck, the bruising not really hideable. Ah, maybe he was weary about having someone working a ride that, for lack of a better term, was a ride. Understandable, people often underestimated how important the operator was on these things. There wasn’t really enough regulation and if whoever was managing the staff didn’t make sure they were decent it became wildly unsafe. One bad accident was awful for business. She’d need to make sure she was shit hot at her job today.

Alex felt like he was seeing a spectre. The girl in front of him shouldn’t be alive. He wouldn’t say he was disappointed as such, instead his initial disbelief was rapidly converting into mounting excitement. Were they keeping her? Some sort of pet? He thought they might have their hands full if that was the plan, this one was tough. There had only ever been one person before now that hadn’t been vanished and that was because Alex had practically begged for her not to be when Gaz had taken a passing interest in her. Not that she had appreciated it, was a hunter now, determined to ‘save him from himself’. He didn’t need saving, being a thrall to the 141 was a good gig, way better than falling in with the Shadows or the side show or God forbid the surfers.

“Ok, thanks. Are the people from the side show about? I was going to go by and say hi but it’s still kind of early huh?”

“I’d steer clear, not the kind of friends you want to have.”

That was weird. Alex was being so serious about it, genuinely like he cared who she was friends with. This place must be way more political than Coney Island and that was saying something. 

“Uh huh. Look Alex, can you just tell me what the deal is here? I am telling you now I am a good worker, but I need to understand how this place works so I don’t screw up.”

Oh yeah, they would definitely have their hands full with this one. 

“The only people worth talking to are the 141. You met a few of them the other day, the bike you left on was with them. The freaks butt heads with them pretty often. They can’t control that big monster of theirs, so stay clear. Graves and his Shadows run all the games, tight knit group, don’t really entertain outsiders.”

“Surfers?”

“Don’t get into the water with them unless you enjoy drowning.”

She laughed, and then laughed harder when she saw that Alex was deadass serious about all this. He acted as if she was working on a Boardwalk with a bunch of warring factions made up of fantastical creatures rather than a bunch of petty gossips who would get into petty fights.

“Sure thing boss man. I’ll be back in time for my shift.”

Yeah she would not be making friends with those 3 from the 141. Fantastic sex only did so much to make up for them being the kind of unsettling that meant she was flirting with danger in the unfun way, in the going to become part of the statistic in this city way. It was really her duty as an upstanding citizen to knock their egos down a bit anyway. Next time they tried it on she’d turn them down hard and fast, make sure they knew that she had as little respect for them as they had for her.

–

“It’s König right? Am I saying that right?”

If it was true that the side show workers and the 141 did not get along, then she would be making friends with the side show workers. Horangi had been decent to her and honestly she thought it was pretty shitty of Alex to comment about the big guy and call him a monster to be controlled. Not his fault he was huge. He was still sat where he had been before, the only one around this early in the day. 

“Perfectly maus. Come closer.”

He had a manic note to his voice that was admittedly a little unsettling, but she supposed that was part of the job. She chuckled a little at how he had purred to come closer, probably worked wonders with tourists. She knew the moment she got within distance he would lunge at her, try to make her jump out of the range of his chains and so she crept forward anyway and controlled her instinct to flinch. Instead she just grinned at him when he lunged, an offt of breath leaving her when he barrelled into her and crushed her tight against his chest. 

“Careful big man, you catch one of the hassled housewives like this and she’s going to fall in love with you.”

König drank her defiance of the fear she should feel like a fine wine. He knew it from when he had first seen her, that she wasn’t scared of him. Even when she had jumped that first time she had smiled at him after, as if in approval. And now that he held her she only trembled from laughter. How delicious a thing for him, soft little princess to make worship at his altar. He’d keep her in his cage with him, bully his cock into her until she took every inch, until she was screaming from the stretch of taking his knot. He’d take care of her, envelop her in him after and let her cosy up in their little den. Keep her warm and satiated and full of his pups. Maybe he’d allow for some tiger cubs once or twice. 

He wasn’t really letting go. And she could feel that he was hard, difficult not to with the size of it pressing against her stomach. Didn’t really think much of it to be honest, he couldn’t have just gotten hard from touching her as much as that would do wonders for her ego, probably just morning wood. Poor guy, there was no way he had ever found anyone to fit around that. She could feel herself getting wet on instinct, her body panicking and trying to prepare for an absolute railing that her logical brain knew wasn’t actually happening. As much as it would be a fantastic blow to the pride of the 141 to get under this man, her body was still sore and she reckoned it might be an idea to stick to pleasing herself for now rather than getting her back completely blown out. 

“Ooook. Going to need you to ease off now.”

König growled. It wouldn’t do for her to be such a bratty thing so early on. She should enjoy being held close to him shouldn’t she? Ah but she was only human. He forgot sometimes how fragile and delicate they were, how they liked to have independence. No matter, he could be patient. He could act like a human man, court her according to their customs until she realised how much she loved him. Then she wouldn’t ever want to get away. Better to wait until the marks on her had faded anyway, if he took her now he wouldn’t be able to control himself when he tried to cover them with his own.

“Sorry maus, many people flinch away from me. It is pleasant to hold you” he said, forcing his tone into something soft and appealing as he loosened his hold and let her take a step back.

“That sucks man, sorry. Make sure you get to just be you without the mask and the chains on your days off, I know it’s rough to be the monster in one of these shows,” she said with a sympathetic smile. 

She had worked a sideshow for a while. They had been desperate and she could do some basic contortion, nothing that impressive but they would take a decent back bend if it meant at least having something to fill out their little space. She remembered feeling dreadful with the way the more unusual looking performers were treated. It wasn’t so much that she had gotten fired for getting into a fight with someone over how they were talking to the bearded lady, but they had not asked for her to perform with them again.

So yes, she could appreciate that for someone like him it was a given he’d be a little messed up. But he had let her go and apologised plus Horangi seemed to like him so all in all, he seemed like a decent guy.

“Is Horangi about? I was going to say hi to him before work.”

“He will be happy you thought of it, but he is asleep. He is most of the time, very lazy cat.”

She grinned, thinking that she had found him similar to a cat yesterday as well with how he had nuzzled her. 

“Well it was nice to officially meet you König, I’d better be off but I’m sure we’ll see each other around!”

Of course they would, he would make sure of that. 

–

She wanted to pop into the video store before her shift but found it closed. Opening hours were only for the evening which seemed sort of odd, but maybe there wasn’t really enough foot traffic during the day. So instead she just floated back to the carousel and lingered until it opened, finding that the change of pace from the night shift was welcome today. It was hot and too bright but there was less of that dark mania about it in the light.

Rudy appeared at the carousel a few hours in, hair damp and salty and skin smelling of sunshine and seawater. He was delighted to see her in more or less one piece. Interesting though, that she had definitely been fed on but was still breathing. He didn’t sense the aura of a thrall about her either, so they weren’t in complete control of her yet. Johnny and him did like to play games sometimes, maybe this was one. He waited for her to step off for a moment to get the next group on, grinning at her. 

“Looking for a ride?”

“Not on a horse, but if you are offering one…”

She rolled her eyes with a groan, had walked right into that one. 

“Unfortunately I’m working, what a shame.”

She turned to go back on and he banded an arm around her waist to stop her, her back pinned to his chest. The people around here sure were handsy, but she was generally a touchy feely person so it wasn’t entirely unwelcome.

“I would treat you much better than they did cariño, make love to you in the ocean until the stars came out.”

With that whispered little promise he let her go and just left. Just fucking left. Preacher was usually more suave than this. She swore she was good at flirting. But Jesus fucking Christ what was she supposed to do with that? 

Next time she saw Keegan the jury was out on whether she was going to kiss him or punch him for sending her here.

[sadhours]

Wicked Sensation

part eleven // billy hargrove x reader

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | part eight | part nine | part ten | part eleven | part twelve | part thirteen | part fourteen | part fifteen | part sixteen | part seventeen

a/n: i am sorry in advance.

word count: 6.4k

warnings: 18+ minors dni, homophobia, smut, dirty talk, rough sex, body fluids, mentions of death, cheating.

taglist(i love you all): @blue-eyed-lion @bbyhargrove @briefmongerfishzonk-blog @sweet-villain @actuallyspencerreid @trapistani

Wearing your brand new hot pink convertible strap swim suit underwear a pair of denim shorts, you grab your sandals and head into the kitchen to be greeted by your dad and brother. They’re making sandwiches for their day at the lake, fishing gear lined up by the door.

“Since when did you become such a fan of swimming?” your dad asks, packing the lunchbox on the counter.

“Since her boyfriend started working as a lifeguard,” your brother chimes.

It was true, before Billy got the job at Hawkin’s Community Pool you’d only swim when visiting your family in Florida. Now, whenever you had a day off from work when Billy didn’t, you were at the pool. He just looked so in his element there, he was a very impressive swimmer and you’d been lucky enough to catch him teaching the smaller kids lessons. Which had you imagining having a family with him one day, when before you’d been pretty dead set on never having kids.

“God forbid I want to see my boyfriend,” you roll your eyes.

Honk, Honk.

“Oh, Steve’s here,” you smile, grabbing your bag from the kitchen table and waving goodbye.

You’d asked Steve to come because you didn’t want to just sit by yourself and Eddie wouldn’t be caught dead there. Plus, Steve was trying to date and there were plenty of ladies lounging around so you knew he didn’t mind. Walking out to his BMW, you catch Neil washing his car across the seat and hope he doesn’t think something else is going on with you and Steve. He looks to you and you wave, “Going to visit Billy and bring him some lunch!”

Neil replies with a nod and continues spraying down his car. You plunge into the front seat with a sigh, Steve pulling away from the sidewalk and making the short drive to the pool.

“You gotta tell his dad what you’re doing?” Steve asks, sunglasses pushed up to the bridge of his nose.

You shake your head and check your hair in the mirror, “I just didn’t want him to think I was off cheating on his son.”

“Oh like men and women can’t be friends,” Steve counters.

“That’s what his dad thinks,” you admit and close the visor back up.

Steve finds you guys a spot, luckily where Billy’s post is in view. He looks absolutely irresistible in his tiny red shorts and they left little to the imagination. Your eye rake over his thighs and muscular chest, feeling yourself start to get wet just at the sight of him.

“You’re drooling,” Steve deadpans and you quickly lift your hand up to your mouth to find he wasn’t lying.

“Fuck,” you suck in, reaching in your bag and pulling out your pack of smokes.

“Jesus Christ,” Steve laughs, sitting up straighter, “As much as of prick he is I gotta admit, I’m impressed.”

Exhaling the needed smoke, you tilt your head at Steve, “Impressed with what?”

Steve motions to you and then to the row of housewives sprawled along the pool, “How he can do this and that to women. Meanwhile, I can’t even get a phone number.”

You eye the women, raising an eyebrow at Karen Wheeler putting herself on display for your boyfriend. You snort, “They all have a kid his age.”

“Hey, you’re basically a puddle at the sight of him too,” Steve points out.

“That’s so different, I’m only two months older than him and also I’ve actually seen what’s underneath those shorts,” you reason with a proud smirk.

Steve cringes, “Okay, gross. But still I don’t get it, is he just that hot? Am I not hot?”

You laugh, “You’re hot, Steve.”

“Oh,” Steve says likes just realizing something, “it’s because it’s an asshole.”

Rolling your eyes as you ash your cigarette, you don’t even want to justify Steve with an answer. When you see Billy starting to make his descent from his post, you stand up and push your shorts down your thighs and shove them into your bag before sitting back down, releasing the clip from your hair to let the natural waves fall around your shoulders.

You sat back down as you hear Steve mumble, “Pathetic.”

“When you’re getting laid again, I’ll consider your input,” you bite back with a sickeningly sweet smile.

“Ouch,” Steve gasps but you ignore him once Billy’s stepping up to you two.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he snatches the cigarette from you and glances to Steve, “King Steve.”

“Hargrove,” Steve grumbles and turns his attention elsewhere.

You turn your sweet smile to your boyfriend, “Hi, baby. How’s your day been?”

“Yelling at kids is fun,” he shrugs, sitting on the end of the lounge. “Got a lot better when I saw you.”

You lean up to peck his lips, hoping the housewives are watching. “I brought you some lunch,” you say and grin.

Billy rubs your thigh and smiles, “I’m starving.”

He’s so handsome, you think as your eyes scan his face and linger on his button nose. His skin has taken the sun nicely, a golden tan aiding in his beauty though it’s a stark contrast against your pale tone. Billy doesn’t mind though, it shows when he grins excitedly at the red marks he’s been leaving on your ass for months.

“Me too,” you say but you don’t mean it like he does.

“My lunch is an hour,” he informs you before teasing, “Think you can behave yourself until then?”

“Yes, sir,” you say meekly.

He hands the cigarette back after leaning in to kiss you a lot hungrier this time. He’s strutting off before you can catch your breath.

“That was almost vomit inducing,” Steve complains, turning his head to you. “Yes, sir?”

You laugh, feeling the heat start to diminish between your legs. “Sorry.”

Billy’s motioning you to follow him an hour later. You turn to Steve, “Go talk to a woman for God’s sake.” before you hop to your feet to follow the red shorts you can’t take your eyes off.

As you and Billy enter the break room, he glares to his male coworkers lazing around in there.

“Get back to work,” he demands and they jump up immediately, exiting the room and Billy locks the door behind him. The sound of the lock has your breath caught in your throat and you’re eager to see what he’s planned. He grabs you roughly, picking you up and dropping you onto the table. He’s at his knees in an instant, pulling your swimsuit down to your ankles. The power he has is intoxicating. The way the boys hurried out of the room at his command brought such a intense pressure to the bottom of your stomach, you didn’t know what to do with yourself.

“Such a whore, you are,” he drones between your legs, pushing them apart with his head. “Wearing this hot little number, bringing Harrington with you.”

His words are laced with venom and you feel your wetness seeping out, so close to his lips you wondered if he could tell. He sloppily kisses your thigh, his broad tongue feeling so lovely on the sensitive skin.

“Huh? You like teasing me? You love pushing my buttons and making me have no other choice but to fuck you senseless while I’m at work?” his voice is so low, it’s like music to your ears.

He slaps your thigh then, “Come on, babe, I’m not talking to an empty room, am I?”

You just whimper, unable to form a single thought as you feel his breath against your soaking pussy.

“Big girl words, now,” he warns, fingers digging into your thigh.

You gasp out, “No, Billy.”

“No?” he laughs between your legs and it’s so cruel, “Not only are you a slut but you’re a liar?”

“M’not lying,” you whine, feeling as he drags his fingertips through your folds.

“Then why are you so wet?” he hums.

You rock your hips against his touch, trying to get him to get a move on with things. You’re desperate but you’ve got some dignity, you won’t make this too easy for him.

“Answer me,” he stills his fingers and holds your hips against the table.

“Uh-uh,” you shake your head, writhing against his grip.

Billy gasps, standing up and slapping you across the face. He then grabs your jaw in his hand and squeezes your cheeks together.

He sings your name lowly, “Don’t lie.”

You whimper, seeing the way he’s straining against his teensy uniform, you think he might burst through the flimsy material.

“Fine,” you huff, “I love teasing you. I love pushing your buttons.”

“Why?” he voice is firm, serious and certain. It brings a electric jolt to your pussy and you squirm under him.

Your voice is shaky as you admit, “Because I want you to fuck me.”

He seems pleased, staring at your face under thick eyelashes with a devious smirk spreading against his lips. “You were thinking about taking my cock when he drove you here, huh?”

“Billy,” you whine out, your tip toes firmly pressed into the concrete floor.

He lets go of your face, bringing his hand to your breasts and squeezing on in his thick fingers. “You were,” he chuckles, before slapping the tit that was in his hand.

“Would you just shut up and fuck me already?” you beg, ears hot when you hear the anger in your voice.

“Brat,” he insults, but he’s pulling his shorts down to his thighs and his gorgeous, thick cock springs out. The tip is red and you can see precum leaking from it. It only makes you more impatient and you bring your feet up to the table, opening up for him even more.

“Little slut,” he coos, dragging his fingers through your glistening folds. He smears your slick on the tip of his erection before drilling it into your eager hole. You cry out and his hand grabs your mouth, muffling the sound halfway. He plows into you, his hips reckless as he gives you no time to adjust to his size.

“Billy,” you moan against his hand and it only drives him more wild. Pressing his other hand on your pubic bone while he unleashes vigorous thrusts into your heat.

You’ve never in your life felt like this during sex, he was so expertly talented with making you fall apart. He knew exactly what you wanted and when you wanted. He was also selfish, taking what he needed from you. You didn’t mind feeling absolutely used during these moments because he was so blissfully sweet when necessary. He somehow knew exactly what you needed, exactly what would turn you into a mess under his touch. It was almost supernatural.

“Good girl,” he grunts, “Look at your pussy taking my cock so God damn eagerly. You just need it so fucking bad, don’t you?”

You peer between you, watching as your pussy swallows his cock. You can feel how you’re gripping it hungrily whenever he pulls his cock back. You’d throw an absolute tantrum if he pulled it all the way out.

You groan loudly against his hand, his filthy words dragging you closer to bliss. He brings his blue eyes to yours, holding his gaze intensely. You can’t look away, you knew he’d take this all away from you if he did. His fingers move down to brush against your clit before rubbing firm circles against it and you feel your eyes cross as you struggle to maintain eye contact. He seems to like that, laughing softly as he picks up the pace of his thrusts.

“Look at you,” he coos, “So fucking dumb off my dick.”

The words pushed you over the edge, shaking against him while your orgasm thrashes through you. He was so overwhelmingly everything you wanted. He pulls back before giving you time to come down, pulling out of you, “On your knees.”

You obey, still feeling the waves of pleasure coursing through you while you fall to your knees on the concrete floor. Without having to be told to, you open your mouth and stick your tongue out. He makes a pathetic noise as he unloads on your face, completely missing the platform you’ve given him. You giggle as you feel him smear his cum all over your face, barely tasting his completion on his palm.

“You’re such a slut,” he breathes as he scans the room, looking for something to really clean you up with.

You keep your eyes closed, not wanting his cum to get in them. You’re relatively sure he’s wiped it from there but you don’t wanna risk it. Luckily, he throws what feels like towel on your face. You accept it, cleaning up his mess and dropping the towel, looking up at him with wide, innocent eyes.

“And all for you,” you counter, rising up and pulling your swimsuit over your sweaty body with the motion.

“I’m the luckiest fucker in the world,” he mumbles as he looks at the clock on the wall. He’s got fifteen minutes to eat the lunch you’d brought him.

As if reading his mind, you grab your bag and pull out the ziploc bag. He grins, sinking his teeth into it with a grateful look. You giggle as you rub his stomach, pulling his shorts up for him.

Billy says something but his mouth is full and you can’t understand him. You tilt your head as you watch him swallow.

“My dad wants you to come to dinner tonight,” he repeats and you nod, knowing you’ll have to have Steve take a detour at the mall. He’d seen you in the pink dress the past three dinners. It might be weird if you don’t start changing it up.

You nod and Billy offers you a bite of the sandwich. You accept, fingers grazing across his wrist while you bite it. He looks so satisfied you start to feel another wave of excitement course through you but you shove it down. He had to get back to work but you knew Billy was more than capable of a round two.

“Maybe we can go for a movie or something after,” you suggest, rubbing your hand against your boyfriends bicep as you watch him eat. The way he looks so cute miles away from the filthy words and actions falling from him just minutes before.

“Mm,” Billy hums happily as he looks up at you, “The drive-in.”

“St. Elmo’s Fire!” you squeal.

“Uh-uh,” Billy takes another bite of the sandwich, “Day of the Dead.”

You roll your eyes, knowing whatever you two saw didn’t matter because you’d end up in the back of the Camaro where neither of you would be paying attention. He finishes his sandwich and pats your bum before unlocking the door and walking out, you following him closely behind. Billy stops where you’d been lounging before his break, not caring that Steve is there as he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you into a heated kiss, licking into your mouth sinfully as his hands move down to grope your ass.

“See you for dinner,” he winks before getting back to work.

You hear Steve groan as you lay back on the chair, “Why don’t you two just record it and send it to every person in Hawkins?”

“Struck out, did ya?” you quip as you light up a smoke.

-

You’d bought three dresses today but the one you settle on is a simple spaghetti strap number that had a floral design resembling wallpaper. You’d styled your hair up in a ponytail, adorning your necklace with Billy’s initial for the first time in front of Neil. You’d also bought an apple crumble at the store and had transferred it to some of Mary’s Tupperware so you could pass it off as something you’d made.

Billy answers the door when you knock, leaning against its frame while he looks you up and down. “Mm, my little stepford wife looks so ravishing,” he purrs and you widen your eyes.

You know it’s gonna be a long dinner based on that, he’s gonna tease you all night. You push past him, casually saying hello to Susan in the kitchen but you don’t see any sign of her cooking. You look to Billy curiously.

“We’re going out,” he clarifies, “then after, you and I can go to the movies.”

Oh, you’d actually be seen in public like this. Which bugged you endlessly, but you look to Billy to try and rationalize why you were still upholding the charade. His smile makes you forget all about it, he laces his fingers with yours and pulls you close to him. You think he might kiss you and your cheeks flush, he was never affectionate around his dad or Susan, you didn’t think he could be.

“Who was that kid picking you up today?” Neil’s voice bellows, Billy drops your hand and steps backwards.

“Oh, that’s Steve, he’s a friend,” you say, innocently.

Neil looks at you a little intensely, making your skin crawl, “A friend?”

“He’s gay,” Billy says, a pointed look at you as a silent way to tell you to go along with it.

“And how would you know that?” Neil asks his son to which Billy replies with a scoff.

“Everyone knows it.”

You just nod, feeling your chest tighten. You hadn’t seen Neil like this before and it scared you.

“I don’t want you hanging around faggots, Billy,” he says then and Billy shrugs.

“He’s not my friend,” he looks to you and then to Susan, “Well we better start heading out if we want to make that reservation.”

The restaurant is nice, you feel underdressed and you’ve got no clue why Neil keeps looking at you. Max isn’t here which means more attention on you and Billy. Your anxiety is through the roof and you’d love nothing more than to have a glass of wine to calm your nerves. Your little lie about not drinking was really pissing you off right now. Billy seems less on edge than you, occasionally brushing his fingers against you thigh and you kick his ankle every time. Not now, you try to tell him telepathically. So either it doesn’t work or Billy likes pushing your buttons. You think the latter.

“Billy, did you buy her that necklace? I thought we talked about saving,” Neil say’s disappointedly while unfolding his napkin.

“It was my mothers,” you lie like it’s the truth, quick and without ease, “Her name was Barbara.” Another lie, her name didn’t even start with a B.

“How did she pass?” he asks.

“Neil!” Susan nudges him and you shake your head.

“No it’s okay,” no trauma, here. No, what your mother did was much worse than dying. “Car accident. She was in a coma for a few weeks but it wasn’t looking good.” You hope Neil can infer the rest.

“Oh, honey,” Susan places her hand on yours, “I’m so sorry.”

You smile awkwardly at her, “Thank you. I was just a little girl, she’d only had my brother two years before. He doesn’t remember her, much.”

That wasn’t a lie, that’s when she left and you were jealous that your brother had the luxury of not getting to know her. You feel yourself start to tear up and so you excuse yourself to the bathroom. When you walk out the door, Billy’s standing there with his hands in his pocket and he looks ashamed.

“I’m sorry, he shouldn’t ask questions like that,” he says, meekly.

You wrap your arms around him, lovingly. The thought of him being worried about you and following to make sure you were okay makes your heart swell.

“I shouldn’t lie so well,” you counter with a small laugh. Billy tightens his arms around your waist and kisses your neck.

“I know the last of that wasn’t a lie,” he whispers and you just squeeze him tighter.

You expect Neil to apologize when you get back to the table but he doesn’t. Susan keeps shooting you sympathetic glances and it’s all so ridiculous. You know Billy has the same abandonment issues with his own mother and neither of them seem to care about that. The two of you never talked about it but you think now you should. He clearly doesn’t have an outlet and you know how he feels, you can relate.

“Dessert?” the waiter offers and not one of you say yes.

You finally get to catch a breath when you get into Billy’s Camaro and let your hair down as he peels out of the parking lot.

“God, I can’t wait to get out of here,” he exhales as he flips his zippo up to light the cigarette you pull to your lips.

You giggle, “I can’t wait to see you out of here.”

“You’re a goddamn angel,” Billy says like he can’t believe it.

You lean over to kiss his cheek, feeling your heart skip a beat at the genuine compliment. He doesn’t dish them out too often but when he does you believe them. “I love you,” you confess.

“I love you, too,” he whispers, glancing at you with a slight blush to his cheeks.

Billy pays for the movie admission, parking as far away from cars as he can while still being able to see the screen well. You laugh though, asking him if it really matters.

“I actually want to see this movie, I’ll have you know,” he turns his nose up and you reach over to pinch it.

Actually watching a movie in the Camaro is difficult. You two can’t cuddle up in the front seat and you can’t see from the backseat. You can do other fun things there though. He awkwardly wraps his arms around your shoulder, the center column making it difficult to get comfortable. You turn and look at Billy, admiring his face while you hold onto the hand draped over your shoulder.

“Stop staring, you’re missing the movie,” he mumbles, his cheeks red.

You roll your eyes before turning them to the screen. But you can’t help yourself, your eyes are drawn back to his face and you start trying to count the freckles on his face. You blush when he turns his head to you, “Do I have to take you in the backseat and fuck the distraction out of you?”

Heat crawls up between your legs, his blunt and filthy words always leaving you breathless. The way he says them so confidently but so low, just meant for you.

“I mean hell, you’re so god damn needy. I already fucked your brains out once today,” he moves to grab your face, eliciting a soft whimper from your lips. Sometimes he could be so scary but it wasn’t like horror movie scary, it was like he was totally aware of the power he had over you and he knew he could do whatever the hell he pleased. And releasing yourself to such a force was incredibly terrifying but you wouldn’t change a single thing. No, Billy deserved to have control of you.

“S’not your fault you’re such a little slut, though. Can’t help but be hooked on my cock, huh?” he growls out, sliding his thumb into your mouth. You promptly wrap your lips around it and suck, dragging your tongue against the digit. “I bet you’ve already soaked through your panties. You’re a disgusting mess under that dress, aren’t you?”

You moan around his thumb, eyes wide as you gaze up at him. He pulls your dress up just enough for him to get his hand into your underwear, frowning as he feels your slick on his fingers. You suck harder on his thumb, excited at the touch.

“Fucking knew it. You’re such a filthy whore,” he purrs, leaning over to press hot, wet kisses to your neck.

You squirm at the touch, tilting your head to give him as much room as he needs. Billy slides his fingers through your folds, gathering the wetness and pulling away.

You whine but he brings his fingers to your mouth, you’re hesitant and he laughs, cruelly.

“Come on, you know you want to,” he insists.

And you do, because you know he wants you to. You shyly take his fingers in your mouth, the taste is slightly tangy but overall not bad. The satisfied, sick smirk on his face brings another wave of arousal over you.

“Get in the back, let’s makes this quick,” he says, nonchalantly.

You’re climbing over the center console before he can finish his sentence and he follows shortly after. He sits in the middle, unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants. He pushes them down just enough to pull his cock out, bringing his palm to your mouth. “Spit,” he demands, looking at you under his eyelashes.

You do as your told, a little embarrassed by how you still can’t manage to do it as easily as he can, trails of saliva connecting from your lips to his palm. He doesn’t care though, wrapping his fingers around his cock and stroking himself. You pull your underwear down, dropping them to the floor and hooking your leg over his thighs. He helps you, guiding his thick tip against your dripping hole. He grabs onto your shoulder and pushes you down on him, stirring a gasp from you as he bottoms out. You wrap your arms around him, pressing your chests flush together and burying your face in his neck. Billy’s arms circle around your waist, holding you tight. You do most of the work, so the whole let’s make this fast thing goes out the window. You roll your hips slowly, grabbing onto his curls as you try to get as close to him as possible. You hear him groan softly, holding onto you tighter. You’re so full of love for him you have to hold back crying, not wanting to freak him out. He pulls you back, sliding his hand up to the back of your neck as he gazes up into your eyes. You smile, rolling your hips a teensy bit faster. He caresses your cheek then.

“So beautiful,” he coos, “such a pretty girl.”

Your face flushes, grinding against him harder and faster. It’s only slightly funny to you that he can call you a whore but minutes later being so sweet and loving. It’s like he can tell exactly what you want before you give him any indication. He kisses you tenderly, rolling his hips up to meet yours and you moan against his lips. After a moment though, you feel him start to soften in you and he sighs, pulling you off of him and tucking himself back in his briefs and pulling his jeans back up.Your heart stings as you wonder what you did wrong, sitting besides him and looking at him curiously.

“Was too slow,” he mumbles, “too… I don’t know.”

“Romantic?” you whisper softly, playing with the hem of your dress.

“I guess,” he says as he crawls back into the front seat.

You feel like dirt, you feel broken so easily by him and you expect him to start his car up and drive you home. You follow him the front, staring at the sky instead of the movie.

“What did I do wrong?” you ask after a beat and he groans, shifting in his seat.

“Nothing,” he says with a roll of his eyes.

“Billy, that’s never happened before,” you try to explain, “I obviously did something wrong.”

“Can you cool it?” he bites and you sigh.

“Take me home,” you demand and he listens, turning the key in the ignition and speeding out of the parking lot in a hurry.

You don’t kiss him goodbye, just storm off into your room where you slam the door. You collapse on your bed and scream into your pillow. You might be overreacting but it hurt. You felt like he was suddenly unattracted to you. You despised how much his sexual prowess of you influenced your self esteem, that was probably the worst part. That him losing the mood could make you feel so utterly hideous.

Mary knocks on your door, “Honey? You okay?”

“Go away,” you cry out but she doesn’t listen. She opens the door and sits on the bed.

“Dinner not go so well?” she asks, reaching out to stroke your hair.

“Huh? Oh. The dinner went fine,” you mumble against your pillows.

Mary sighs, “What happened?”

“I don’t want to talk to you about it,” you say.

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not gonna talk about something so personal with my dads girlfriend,” you blurt out.

Mary nods, “Okay, well right now, I’m not your dads girlfriend, I’m a shoulder to cry on.”

Damn her, you think. She’s trying to be there for you in a way no one ever was and you think you’d be a fool not to take advantage of it.

“You can’t yell at me,” you say, sitting up. “I’m eighteen and I’m on birth control.”

“So it’s about sex,” she says with a soft laugh, “I won’t yell. What happened?”

You bring your arms up to hug yourself as you look at her.

“Did Billy do something you weren’t comfortable with?” she asks, her eyes suddenly worried.

“No! No… it’s the opposite.”

“You did something Billy wasn’t comfortable with?” she cocks an eyebrow.

“I guess… we were… ya know and then he just… stopped, like he couldn’t…” you try to get the words out without feeling too awkward, your face flush.

Mary laughs again and you cover your face with your hands, “Oh, god.”

“Honey, that’s normal. Happens to the best of ‘em,” she assures you but you don’t believe her.

“No. He’s eighteen, that doesn’t happen to boys his age. I obviously did something wrong,” you mumble. “Or he just suddenly realized what a hideous beast I am.”

She shakes her head, “No, I’m sure that’s not it. Sometimes things don’t align and the mood changes. I’m sure Billy doesn’t think you’re ugly.”

“He said it was too romantic,” you admit, though he didn’t exactly say it, he just agreed when you did.

“Sounds like an eighteen year old boy to me,” she laughs again. “Don’t worry too much about it. There’ll be plenty of awkward moments ahead of you. They just happen.”

She pats the top of your head and leaves your room. The talk doesn’t settle your stomach one bit, you stand up and walk to your window. You don’t see Billy’s Camaro, but you don’t remember hearing him take off. You jump when your phone rings, walking over to pick it up.

“Hello?” you answer.

“Hi, do you like Billy Idol?” Steve’s voice on the other end kind of surprises you.

You giggle, “Do you?”

“I don’t know, but somehow I got tickets to his concert,” he says.

“In Hawkins?” you ask incredulously.

“In Indianapolis. Do you wanna go?” he asks.

You smile, “Take a four hour drive with you? Sure, I’d love to.”

“Awesome, we better leave early tomorrow then, doors are at seven,” Steve tells you an you nod along even though he can’t see you.

Then he says, “We’ll probably have to get a room since it’s a long drive and all.”

You feel your stomach twist. The last sleepover you’d had with Steve didn’t go over too well with Billy. But hey, you enjoy spending time with Steve and you can’t let Billy dictate your life.

“I’ll pack an overnight bag,” you say before hanging up.

-

Billy is standing outside when Steve pulls up. He struts over and leans into Steve’s window.

“You two gonna have another pool day?” Billy asked with a raised eyebrow. He was just about to leave for work and thought it was odd you didn’t just tag along with him.

“No,” Steve counters, “I won some tickets on the radio. We’re gonna drive up to Indianapolis.”

“What? That’s like a four hour drive,” Billy says, taking note of the duffel bag in the backseat. Then you’re stepping out the door and Billy notices your backpack hanging off your shoulder.

“Oh, hell no,” he says, stiffening up. “You’re not taking my girl to Indianapolis for a night.”

You roll your eyes, tossing your backpack in the back before placing your arms on the roof of the car. Billy takes note of your outfit, the short leather skirt, the low cut shirt and how big your hair is styled.

“It’s one night. Can you cool it?” you canary, rising Billy’s blood.

“You’re a fucking joke,” Billy scoffs, looking you square in the eye. “Go ahead and take him to California.”

He starts to walk away but you call after him, “Tickets in your name, can’t change that.”

Billy waves his hand at you, “Whatever, bitch.”

“Asshole!” you yell out as he gets in his car and peels out down the street.

Your body is tense with adrenaline and you climb into the front seat, looking at Steve dumbfounded.

“Did we just breakup?” you ask, mouth agape.

Steve winces, “Kind of sounded like it. Listen, we can call off the trip…”

“No,” you sigh. “I’ll just talk to him when we get back.”

You aren’t sure what it meant. If you did breakup. It didn’t really feel like it. You two hadn’t really fought like that before but with the night before, you wondered if Billy was searching for an excuse to break up with you. He’d been cool with you hanging out with Steve since their fight. Granted, you hadn’t spent a night in a hotel room with Steve before but still.

“It’s fine, I don’t think I’ve even heard a Billy Idol song before,” Steve replies.

You reach into your purse and produce a Billy Idol cassette. Steve deflates, grabbing the cassette and putting it in the stereo before starting your journey.

-

The concert was fun. Fun you needed to have. You and Steve get drunk, thanks to your fake ID. You stumble back into the hotel room, a sixer tucked under your arm while Steve carries your purse for you. In the excitement of the night, you successfully pushed Billy Hargrove to the very back of your mind. So much so, that when Steve’s lounging on the bed and flicking through the channels, you crawl up onto his lap. You run your fingers through his hair and giggle drunkenly.

He smiles up at you, “What’re you doing?”

“Playing with Steve The Hair Harringtons famous hair,” you snicker, tousling his hair into a mess.

He laughs softly. You share a moment, gazing into each others eyes while your hands fall to his shoulders. Without thinking, Steve’s hands inch to your waist and he’s leaning up to kiss you. But he pulls back just as quick.

“I-i’m sorry, I’m drunk,” he whispers and he looks so cute and innocent and everything opposite of Billy. You hear it in your head, You’re a fucking joke. Go ahead and take him to California. Not exactly sure why it pushes you forward in the moment but you grab onto Steve’s jaw and pull his lips back to yours. It’s desperate, clash of lips and teeth before you find the right rhythm. Once you do, you feel incredibly warm and secure. He’s gentle, tentative and it feels sweet. He’s pulling you closer, like he can’t get enough while he slides his tongue past your lips. You slide your hands down his chest and he pulls back to catch a breath, smiling wide as he looks up at you.

The two of you should stop, pretend this didn’t happen. But you can’t, and either can Steve. He presses his lips to your neck and attempts to slide his fingers into your ratted hair. Your eyes flutter shut when he licks against your sensitive skin. A moan escaping your lips when he sucks a mark there. And you don’t worry about it, allowing yourself to be a slave to this moment. Steve takes an opportunity to flip you on your back, returning his lips to yours as he hands snake up into your shirt. He squeezes you over your bra and you giggle softly as your hands snake back into his hair.

He undresses you slowly, his eyes scanning over your body as he does so. He looks at you with earnest excitement and you feel your skin erupt in goosebumps. He hums happily when he sees, his fingertips tracing your curves. His eyes continue to drink you in for a moment before he’s pulling his shirt over his head and your eyes are drawn to his chest hair. You can’t help but reach out and touch it, eyes looking up at him through your eyelashes. He smiles, moving his thumb to caress your cheek and before you know it, he’s kissing you again. It’s all so sensual it feels brand new. He doesn’t grab at you with rough hands but with attentive, sincere ones. Your head swims from it, you actually feel beautiful in the moment. When you deepen the kiss, you feel Steve’s hands journey to his jeans and he attempts to unbutton them, but it seems like he’s having a hard time so you do it for him, never breaking the kiss.

Steve pulls back, getting off the bed and wandering to his duffel bag. You feel exposed so your arms move to cover up what you can. He digs through his things and retrieves a condom, striding back over to you. You swallow the lump in your throat. Why would he even bring condoms? Was he planning on this? He kicks his jeans and briefs off before crawling back between your legs.

He smiles down at you, “Is this okay? Can I keep going?”

You nod shyly, his smile helping in dissolving the worry you’d just had. He grins wider, bringing the foil packet up to his mouth and tearing it open with his teeth. He slides the condom over his member, pressing it to your entrance.

“Are you sure?” he checks in one more time and it makes you giggle, though there’s a twinge of regret already deep in your heart.

[rillaofexile]

Okay I get really mean and ramble a lot under the cut sorry if it doesn’t make sense

So basically, Rilla had to give up something to escape the danger from last episode. She apperently gave up her expertise, which is basically her knowledge as a herbalist and a doctor and an inventor. So basically they haste stripped Rilla of her job and hobbies. She gave up her job and passions and hobbies. Are you kidding me are you fucking dumb that’s the worst writing I’ve ever seen. 💀💀💀

On top of that, Quanyii just takes a bunch of shit and like. Is supposed to be a likable character. Leaving a main character with extensive amounts of memory loss of her entire existence because you helped her once. Listen. I like shitty characters. But Quanyiis writing is already so flimsy cause there was never enough time to build her up as a character, who has passions and goals. We barely learned anything about her and Caroline’s life together. She’s the worst version of chaotic neutral you can make. Chaotic Neutral does not mean one can do whatever they want on any side and that means they are fun, you still have to create a character who is interesting. But Quanyiis goals are so lost in lore that doesn’t go anywhere or make any sense to be a character that’s likable. She’s just a force of nature who sucks the life out of every scene she’s in by making you feel like she’s going to take everything away that YOU the listener cared about. Not even hurting the characters, but making you feeel pain through cheap methods

Because at the end of the day Penumbra is not being written because the creators are excited to write anymore. They need an ending. And the ending seems to actively hate the audience for ever criticizing thier product because god forbid someone who wanted good queer content that was advertised on its representation get a good story that is treated with any amount of care. That these people don’t have the creators get mad about being criticized for hiring an artist who draws racist features like over musculized black women or Asian people with skinny overslanted eyes.

The ending is coming and it’s going to suck, based on its cheap cliffhangers, with a story that wasn’t written with the characters that existed in season 2 in mind. That feels like it actively shits on the fanbase for caring about queer characters. With a bunch of shitty people who just do shitty things and are in shitty relationships cause they never had any time to flesh those things out. Cause good queer rep doesn’t have to have good people!! Or a good story or characters apparently!!

Cause in the end ending the story incomplete would have left a better impression with fans than dragging its corpse through the street while spitting in the fans faces on the way out. Now you have less people who are going to pay attention to what you do next, since you botched the last job so bad.

Christ alive this show went down the drain

[gilliandersons]

I want them to stop trying to explain it because they don't get why we are upset. JS needs to comment on the pacing and why they told instead of showed every important moment. (And maybe why exactly Ted had to be so isolated in the end)

truth be told they did a lousy ass job with the greater part of season three, but god forbid accountability is taken. jason is more cordial than brendan, but don't be fooled they come from the same sack so naturally their opinions don't diverge much.

season three felt like leaving fourth grade unsupervised for fifteen minutes and coming back to it with a kid who chopped their eyebrows with a blunt scissor, two kids are missing and for some reason there's a girl in the back of the class who just lost her socks. so you can see how it bothers me so much that a lot of the conversation roams around ship discourse as if tedbecca not happening was our own crucifixion of jesus moment. my brother in christ, look around, we're in a crisis.

on that same note, it makes me sick to my stomach that there's this mockery tone whenever they're talking about us as if hoping for what could've been an exquisite love story (something that apparently they created by accident but ended up using it to lead us on) is pathetic. at this point for me it's not so much about it happening or not, it's the disrespect that is hurtful. i can't look past at how cruel that is.

ultimately, they fumbled the bag and that's on them. ironically enough the only one i would like to hear from is bill, the rest of them should just shut the fuck up.

[abubblingcandle]

🌹

Ah thank you! I just cut a scene from The Richmond Job with Beard and Roy just hacking and doing arts and crafts in silence because it was so hard to write 😂 So you get this little bit instead of Roy musing on being part of a heist crew

---

"Good effort," Beard muttered as he appeared at Roy's should nearly giving him a heart attack. 

"Jesus fucking Christ," Roy hissed, clutching his chest and panting. They needed to be a bell on him or something. The man was a cryptid but he was glad to be paired up with him not Keeley, not Ted, not Rebecca and god forbid he have to spend any time with Tartt. Beard and Roy understood each other, why talk if you don’t need to? Earlier it had been practically effortless to mock up some fake car plans based on a hack of Nissan servers and Roy had channelled his best Uncle Roy for arts and crafts to get the gear set up with the logos on. Meanwhile they did not utter a word more than was necessary. It was bliss.

[lovecolibri]

You should read the TVLine article (and comments) and Hello! Magazine article. It's sooooo messy in a way that KR doesn't know what to do in her current position.

I am...not going to do that for my own sanity because I have already seen Too Much from her, but I did read the comments on the TVLine article and the EW article (Hello! Asked for cookies to keep scrolling so I backed out 🤷🏻‍♀️) and it's pretty clear how dissatisfied people are with how things are going.

I also did see some of the quotes being posted by others and every single one was like psychic damage with how absolutely out of touch this woman is. Eddie ALREADY had an arc about dating again after the loss of his wife! Bobby's sponsor was apparently *instrumental* for Bobby AND the Grant family over the past 5 years yet we've literally never heard of him before (and knowing Bobby is an addict you would think they would want to at least plant that seed with mentions ages ago so when they were ready to use the character they would just need to put a face with a name the audience already knows), Ravi APPARENTLY is off at some training something or other but god forbid any of the firefam drop a line about that in the actual text of the show so the AUDIENCE (the ones you are making the show for!) know that information, and she thinks a musical episode would be fun so she doesn't have to *checks notes* do the fucking job she is being paid to do. Like Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ. I have never seen someone not only so ENTIRELY unsuited for a job, but also actually getting WORSE at the job instead of learning and doing better.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

The Tomato Episode :: "Little Casino" :: Gilbert Sorrentino

He had been, for many years, intrusive, selfish, callous, controlling, petty, and childish, and given to prevarication, forgetfulness, and maddening self-justification. An almost intolerable clod of a husband, whose smug egotism made him a good target for his wife’s occasional, unexpected, and thoroughly justified countermeasures. One night, when his wife asked him to slice a tomato for their supper, he took a large, ripe tomato out of the refrigerator, and noticed that there was a half-tomato there as well, covered tightly in shrink wrap. He took that out, too. He had sliced this half-tomato and was beginning to slice the whole tomato, when his wife asked him why, why he’d sliced the half-tomato when she had expressly asked him to slice a tomato, a whole tomato. With the counterfeit, smug patience that often causes brutal assaults and even murders to be committed upon those who pretend its possession, he explained that he’d sliced the half-tomato and would now slice half of the whole tomato, so that they could “use up,” was his phrase, the older, so to speak, half-tomato, and save half of the newer, so to speak, whole tomato. He indeed employed the phrase, “so to speak,” in itself a maddened attacker’s defensible justification for battery.

He quietly noted that if it was her heart’s desire, he would slice the entire whole tomato, should she feel that a tomato and a half would not be too much for supper, considering, no, knowing of the wonderful meal that she was certainly preparing. She asked him why he thought, why in Christ’s name did he think, what gave him the goddamned idea that she wanted him to slice the goddamned half-tomato to begin with. Huh? He said, almost bloated with reasonableness, that it seemed a perfectly reasonable “operation to perform,” yes, he said that, that is: to “use up” the half a tomato that had been in the refrigerator since the day before yesterday, losing flavor and juiciness and vitamins and fucking minerals, whatever the hell they have, to eat the thing, made perfect sense to him. Did he ever, ever, ever, she asked, stop to think that maybe she was saving that half a tomato for something, that she had plans for it? Plans? he said. Plans? Plans? He said that if she indeed had, ah, plans, big plans for the fucking half a fucking tomato, could she not use the half-tomato that would be left after he finished slicing the whole tomato? Couldn’t she? She told him that it wasn’t his business to decide for her which half a tomato she wanted to use. To use, he said, to implement your big plans. She said that her decisions were her decisions and that if she wanted to take all the miserable goddamned tomatoes and throw them out the window, it was her business!

He said that he hadn’t intended to make decisions for her, God forbid, he simply thought that blah blah and sensible blah, that he thought that it was something that she herself would do, blah. You have no idea, you have no idea, you don’t have any idea what I’d do about it, you have no idea what I’d do about anything, that’s the trouble, that’s always been the trouble, and wasn’t, she added, wasn’t it about time that he seriously started looking for a job? with his Master’s in sociology? And did it ever occur to him while he watched the ball game that she didn’t feel like eating a stale tomato, a dried-out tomato, that she wanted a fresh tomato? Or was the ball game too intellectually demanding? She said that when she asked him to do something she wished that he would, just once, do it, and not do something else and then spend three hours trying to convince her that that’s what he thought she wanted him to do. I ask you to cut a tomato, cut a tomato! At which, with a small, hapless smile, he asked her, whining, whether she wanted him to continue slicing the whole tomato, or just half of it, and what about the sliced half-tomato now? He stood, slightly slumped, as if crushed in spirit, unmanned, impotent, a posture which his arrogant sneer belied. She said that he could do what he wanted to do, the king of the kitchen, the reader of minds, the weaver of dreams, he could slice, not slice, stick the tomatoes up his ass slice by slice, send them to the goddamned stupid millionaire bastard Pittsburgh Cubs. As for her, she didn’t want any tomatoes or any supper, for that matter! She washed and dried her hands and walked out of the kitchen. What about the chicken? he asked. What about the chicken? I said, what about the chicken? And the rice? The sliced tomato on the cutting board had the placid look of all blameless objects that have been swiftly carried across time so as to bewilder and confound.

[Thank you Mikhail Iossel]

[lucifer-is-a-hermit]

Vent rant time boyyyyzzzz

I'm tired of my 8 million diagnosed and undiagnosed issues. Like can my stomach stop try to pump its acid up my throat to destroy me insides. Can I eat without feeling dizzy and nauseated for one. I feel like that is fuckin impossible. I'm now having issues with bladder control and I'm just fuckin done. I don't have the money or effort to see a doctor about all of that. Everything is busy going to my mental health.

My shitty fucking mental health that just seems to just be getting worse.

Also being poor as hell helps my eating disordered thoughts to run rampant and take over. Not like I have a chance at even starting to untangle that ball of yarn.

My cocktail of meds is changing now, which is throwing everything more out of wack. And God forbid I have the mental energy and willpower to turn in applications for jobs. Not like it will do anything since my boyfriend is applying to everything around us and finding nothing. And he has job experience and a high school diploma.

Speaking of high school diploma I have a place next to me that will let me get a full ass high school diploma and not just a GED, but my anxiety just, I just can't. I know it will improve my living situation which puts it as something with higher stakes which just makes it so much worse. Not to mention the trouble I had in school was with homework and research, and that's all my final course is.

Besides what's the point. I just. God. My brain is on full overdrive all the time, and I need more support and care when is comes to my autism, but it's hard for people to see. Not like people seeing would do much to fuckin fix it. I don't have money to throw at my problems. Which is so lovely since money is my biggest fuckin problem in the first place.

And I'm being a fuckin horrible cat dad on top of all of it. I can't find the clippers for my poor kitty's claws and she keeps getting them stuck on things and scratching things she shouldn't. And it'll be to hard to even look for the clippers with how bad of a mess the house is. The amount of trash that needs taken out along with the amount of laundry that needs done is just absurd and insurmountable. Her litter box is pretty ripe too.

I'm also fuckin sick with what is probably covid so all I can do is sit around as my problems and what I should be doing run through my head while I hardly have the energy to hydrate myself. Oh wait I actually don't have the energy to do that and my boyfriend does it for me even though he is sicker than me because I just can't get it for myself no matter how unbearable it becomes.

Fuck man I don't even know where to start when it comes to fixing everything.

Not to mention the constant ticker of the money I inherited from my dad's death running out. Christ man I'm in my early 20s and I have inheritance money from my dad and bladder control issues. What in the absolute living hellscape is my life.

Plus despite having 2 different fuckin therapists therapy seems to be working less and less for me.

[amicidomenicani]

Question Hello Father Angelo, My name is D. and I am 27.  I have been dating my boyfriend for over seven years now. We will get married in four months: although I am happy about it, there is something about this marriage that just does not feel right. All these years my boyfriend and I shared the same opinions regarding religion and faith. We were both atheists and we were fine with it, until about three months ago I had an unexpected and astounding experience that led me to conversion. He seems to accept my conversion, although he does not want to come to the Mass with me, because he finds it boring. After all, he does not forbid me to do what makes me happy. But the conversion has changed me a lot, and some of his behaviors that I was not noticing before, now annoy me deeply. I am aware that we are all slaves to materialistic things, but I now feel I despite them so much! I especially despite excesses of any kind, frivolities, selfishness, eager for money...I hate everything that leads to evil! I transformed into a humble and simple girl, getting rid of all the vanities and frivolities, I now feel so happy! I work as an esthetician, but if I could find another job I would gladly quit the current one, because I find it too superficial and meaningless.  Before encountering Jesus, I used to search for true happiness, but never found it. Even though nothing was missing in my life, I had a nice job, an upcoming marriage, yet I could not stop feeling empty. Only the Eternal Father healed my inner void! Suddenly, I am strongly attracted to Jesus, I would say I am in love with Him! A month ago, when I realized that maybe God is calling me to consecrated life, I fell into despair, because I also desire to get married and have a family…if my destiny is to become a nun, why did God's call not occur earlier? Why now, when my wedding has already been organized? I do not trust my priest, therefore I tried to make the discernment alone, by praying as much as I could. After a few days of intensive prayer I was so convinced that the Lord has led me on this path, that I have to go along with it, anything else would be my will, not His. I want to get married, but I am afraid that in future I will regret not having answered his call. On the other hand, leaving everything in order to follow Christ also scares me. In short, I know that the Lord wants something from me, but I have not yet understood what. I would very much like to know your opinion. Thank you in advance. Answer from the priest Dear D., 1. I am happy that the Lord has revolutionized your life by granting you the grace to start a married life according to his plan of sanctification. When you discovered the Lord, you immediately felt that He is like that precious pearl for which it is worth to leave everything else you possessed before. 2. However, a Christian life and a consecrated one are two different things. Deciding for a consecrated life is a matter that requires a serious, intense discernment, which cannot be processed in just a few months. 3. The fact that you are one step away from your wedding, after seven years of engagement, makes me think that the Lord's will is that you get married. 4. My advice is that you live your relationship more intensely with the Lord, who is, and must remain, the Bridegroom of your soul. The bridegroom whom you will shortly take to the altar will be a true bridegroom, but at the same time he will be the image and permanent reminder of Jesus, who is the Spouse of whom all the others are a sign. 5. At the same time, insistently ask the Lord for the grace of the conversion of your future husband, so that the two of you may live a journey of sanctification. In this way, everything in your life together will lead you to know, love, and possess Jesus with growing intensity. Jesus is "the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end" (Rev. 22:13) also of our sentime

ntal life. 6. A sudden conversion was the greatest grace you have ever received. You discovered the center and the goal of your life, the only one that illuminates it in all of its depths and in all of its immense value. He gives life its consistency, for earthly and eternal existence. 7. Everything else, if it does not lead to Him, is "all was vanity and a chase after wind" (Eccl. 2,11) as Sacred Scripture says. This is the reason why you feel a certain discomfort in your current profession, which is not to be despised if it serves to recall another aesthetic, the one that makes our actions and our life beautiful, and preserves them for eternal life. I will soon descend into the church and celebrate the Mass. I will thank God for what he has given you, and at the same time I will ask for all the very best for you and for your future husband. I bless you. Father Angelo

[bluesky88diary]

Want to tell you, dear 승연, what I believe in. Exam after this month study ^^ Take out spiritual sword of faith.

Rom 11:11: "I have stumbled that I should fall? God forbid: but rather to provoke me to be more jealous."

Rom 8:37-39: "Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Rom 8:28: "We know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

Rom 5:5: "And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us."

Rom 4:5: "But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness."

1Jn 2:1-3: "My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous: And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world. And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments."

Eccl 4:9-10: "Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up."

Love gave me better life with everything I could ever dream for. Virtual reality used to be a prison itself for me. This is long story how Jesus set me free from that boundary, I wish to uncover this in the book. However sometimes I could see something I used to like, some games I had fun with and memories play tricks on me. Merely interesting how much better is now. However this is rare. Last time it happened over half year ago. Also I notice a pattern how this heppens. In most cases I'm totally indifferent toward all kind of games, but I notice after I achieve my goal and enjoy success all of a sudden this memories comes up. Perhaps in my brain feeling of success and victory is tighten with some memories. Yet when I have no job or tasks those memories can trial me. Impressive how much strong influence have memories. Even though I don't like a thing in some circumstances I can yield for awhile but then abhor it again, because virtual world is broken, nothing to like there in comparison to love.

I want my memories contain your imprint for nobody ever could replace you, dear 승연. And even those photos you shared with passport being a little upset, they touch my heart and whisper to me about your love, about my love, about how much priceless is your support and understanding. Heart of man dies with beloved woman. You are much more than a friend or lover, my passion or muse, pretty flower or drink of happiness. Don't you know? If I found courage to make home in my heart for you, beloved 승연, then without you I will be merely drifting boat among raging sea where is no harbor to dock.

Love is fulfilment of the Law. One family and one life for both. Thus we might share not only happy moments but support each other in our weakness to become stronger together as one whole. I could hide this weakness, but please forgive me I put a little sadness in your heart. I want you know me and trust me, so I love you and trust you too in everything.

You are my universe, my beloved 승연.

[gcddamnvampire]

"What is your fucking problem?" She snapped, rage simmering as she listened to him rant. She understood him being upset because she had done something he'd asked her not to, but to react like this? "Jesus Christ, it was a job. I went and took her pictures because she hired me to just like anyone else would have. Nothing else happened and I haven't even talked to her since we broke up aside from this. I am faithful and I always have been. I don't look at literally anyone else because I'm in love with you but that doesn't seem to be enough, does it? If you don't even trust me to do my job then why the hell are we even together? Because god forbid I run into an ex at the supermarket or some shit."

"Even for me? Wow." He nodded. "No, no, no." A step backwards. Because he couldn't think when he was this close to her. "I trusted you, Georgia, I trusted you enough to say, don't do this, it's a bad fucking idea, don't go there, I'm asking you. And you did the equivalent of telling to fuck off. That's what you fucking did, so you don't really get to bullshit me about trust, okay?" Xander shook his head. "Is there anything that you'll say no to because you are with me? Since respecting me enough to not go to your ex's place is not on the list, what is? You can go but you are not having sex, sure. Can you flirt? Can you like their pictures on instagram? I'm sure you would call me crazy for being mad over a hug. But can you guys hold hand?"

[your-local-granny]

.

[foolbo]

going to be coping with mommy issues by projecting on jason <3

[shoeshineyboy]

ace attorney characters based on how happy I’d be to work for them, as a former legal admin assistant

1. Mia Fey: makes money, hence the lamp and also partner. decent layout of the office. can keep a plant alive. clearly knows what she’s doing. she keeps ungodly hours, but given that she managed to get murdered in the office alone, I feel like she’s very much the “I’m going to be staying until god knows when, so go home” type boss. I appreciate that. I feel like she brings snacks in.

2. Gregory Edgeworth: see now he also keeps ungodly hours but since he works in the 90s/00s, I feel like he doesn’t own a cell phone with which to let me know, while he’s offsite, that I can leave the keys to the office under the doormat and go home. however he canonically keeps coffee at the office, and he has an apprentice, which means less long-winded busywork for me (Ray must’ve done something before the Inherited Turnabout is all I’m saying!)

3. Kristoph Gavin: I don’t like this, but it’s true. prior to the murder thing he was making bank and had an established office, which means it’s probably well-staffed and I wouldn’t be left doing pointless busywork. I feel like he straight-up ignores admin staff unless he needs something, which, honestly, is fine. I’m busy.

4. Apollo Justice: I feel like he probably picked up some good habits from Kristoph and I can’t believe I’m saying that. he’d be more polite, I’m sure, but he’s also inexperienced, which means his files are going to be a fucking state. also, crucially, he doesn’t have an office, so I have to dock points.

5. Raymond Shields: buggers off to different country for years, but keeps the office open. I am working remotely or coming in if I want to. this is the dream. I think his filing system is erratic at best and batshit insane at worst, though. also, the man eats paper. putting files together for him would be an unending nightmare of Missing Shit. “Mr Shields, where’s the form with the witness’ address?” “I ate it” “I am going to kill you”

6. Marvin Grossberg: loaded. massive office. lots of staff. unfortunately I might have to listen to him talk about his hemorrhoids, and if I have to speak to Redd White or, god forbid, Robert Hammond, I am resigning.

7. Miles Edgeworth: he would be polite. he would have reasonable expectations. like Ray, he’s also never fucking there. however, one day, he’s going to be talking to me about something and will insist on making me walk to his office with him. if he makes me walk up twelve flights of stairs, I’ll give him a reason to fear them more than elevators.

8. Phoenix Wright: he doesn’t know how to use a computer. the number of emails is going to be insane and it’s giving me a headache just thinking about it. I also hate to judge like this, but he’s skint, and, not being funny, if I’m trying to organise any of his bullshit cases I’m expecting something a bit better than aldi chocolate rolls.

9. Winston Payne: this job would be fucking boring but it’d be straightforward, and sometimes, that’s what you need. he wouldn’t talk to me, which is nice.

10. Klavier Gavin: he would be lovely. he would be so, so sweet. he would bring me starbucks AND remember my order. unfortunately his office looks like a teenage boy’s bedroom- that is, a complete shithole, and it’d more than likely fall to me to try and organise it.

11. Simon Blackquill: pros: bird that’s trained to buy booze. cons: Fulbright is definitely a morning person and I’m not. also, he’s in prison. I probably don’t have much of a job.

12. Nahyuta Sadmadhi: he asked me to organise access to the airport’s gold lounge for him with 20 minutes’ notice.

13. Godot/Diego Armando: I swear to christ I have worked with someone who showed me exactly what working for Godot would be like. fucking coffee cups all over the fucking building like a FUCKING scavenger hunt every single bastard day. I wouldn’t get any actual work done I’d be doing his stupid mug hunt every time he fancies another brew, which is all the shitting time.

14. Franziska von Karma: she should’ve ranked higher because she ticks a lot of boxes (money, absent), but she also carries a fucking whip. I also love her but she grew up rich as fuck and I just Know her attitude is going to be abysmal. “fool” mate you’re the one who wrote their notes in German, google translate and I are doing our best out here.

15. Athena Cykes: acts like a highschooler because she is one. I love Athena as a character, but I would not love her as an employee of hers.

16. Sebastian Debeste: I’m not working for a fucking seventeen-year-old.

17. Robert Hammond: I hate him. he wouldn’t speak to me except to snap at me. he bought me a shite £1.85 americano from the office coffee machine once and then asked me to pay him back.

18. Manfred von Karma: what are you trying to prove, old man? why are you such a shiter? I’m being expected to organise documents for meetings I’m not even allowed to know about because it’s all under the table illegal bullshit. I feel like my job’s on the line because I nodded to Greg in the queue for the gas station once when I was off the clock. this cunt believes in professionalism outside the workplace but also has a cabinet of whiskey in his office.

[walrus150915]

Nimona has affected me on levels I didn't expect. Honestly, when I first saw the ad, I thought it would be a fun little gay movie. And oh well...

First of all, representation is wonderful. Like, should I even say that? Let's start with Nimona herself - I never liked the non-human queer allegory because of quite weird implications but it works just so well with Nimona! She's charming and she's not ashamed of her powers, she just wants understanding. There was nothing wrong with her to begin with, only people's treatment of her has been wrong.

Ballister and Ambrosius. What a treat for me as an Asian bisexual guy! Not only are they cute when they don't traumatize each other, but they are just so... So normal? In a way that they are treated as normal people by the narrative which is very rare within gay media. They don't have problems in their relationship because they are both men; no, their problems are much deeper than that. And that is beautiful. Props to ND Stevenson for not going with the Bury Your Gays trope in the first place haha!

Then we got themes and GOD did it HURTTT. I can see how this could hit much harder for queer people with religious trauma (with Gloreth being a Christ figure, with the realm being a Christian-supremacist state) but I gladly didn't experience it. Nimona as a character is for everybody who's been ostracized for their differences, but especially for queer trans kids. Something which feels so good about Nimona being proud of her abilities and being hurt due to outside rejection, not her inner identity doubt. She's Nimona and she knows it. Should I even mention how metal it is of Nimona to acknowledge the beef within LGBTQ community, specifically between cis queers and trans folks? To acknowledge how people in power weaponize minorities against each other only to get rid of those they were using once they reach their goal? (*looks at TERFs and LGB without the T bullshit this world has going on*)

Finally, I adore how Nimona embraces minority rage. The way Nimona made me realize that yes, there is no point in being a "comfortable" minority, because privileged groups won't like you no matter how hard you try. You can't be a good gay, a good trans for these people. To them you are bad because you are gay and because you are trans. End of the story. So what's the point of trying to fit in, to put up with their bullshit? I used to think like Ballister did, but Nimona said her words and made me think. So I'm. More punk-ish now thanks to Nimona, in a sense. This reveal was straight up life-changing.

Nimona hit me so hard especially because I'm a transgender bi boy in Russia. Nimona came out a few days after the law which forbid medical transition was surpassed and the new "anti-LGBT" law was made. Now it's legal to kill us. Now it's legal to put a person in jail for the fact of their existence. I was... Not in a good mental state, as I had hopes for transition once I was independent, but now it's possible only if I move to another country. Or if we take down the government idk. But yeah, Nimona uplifted me. She was my source of comfort. I've never felt such emotional closeness to a movie.

For a movie made for all the monster girls out there, it did a great job at making one monster boy feel better. Just. I want to say thanks to everybody who made Nimona. Thanks to ND Stevenson. This is such a raw, beautiful queer story. Words cannot describe the impact it had on me and the way I perceive the world.

Simply a metal movie.

I am currently writing a paper about the way that the Nimona Movie affected queer people. I was hoping that you could comment or reblog with your experience watching Nimona. Thanks so much!