#god damn. if i dont add it everyone will complain about it. but it doesnt fit in with the other categories and i only have 12.

[daughterofsarenrae]

If i missed any please let me know (yes i know sickness isnt on here, i had limited options)

[terrible-romance-reviews]

I would also like to go off about how terrible the book Touch Of Darkness was like holy shit (spoilers ahead if you care dont read further)

So like we got, our hades x persephone romance right? Now make it modern day. Now make Hades a night club owner?? But also he is still doing, underworld duties the gods are still all gods. Now add, consistent reoccuring flower themes, BUT, nothing is done with them.

Ok we on the same page now? No we arent it gets worse. Persephone? A cunt for no reason. Also licherally being? Gaslit by Demeter? The entire time thats the fucking twist. All the characters are completely 2 dimensional, you are not getting past they like sex and secondary characteristic that is brought up.

Random human best friend, does fucking nothing, enables Persephone being a massive cunt for no reason.

The entire book is held up by how banger the sex scenes are, I am talking IMMACULATE the shit is so steamy like hot DAMN.

Plot sucks Persephone hates Hades for no reason meanwhile Hades is actively out here being Just A Guy and not even?? Being that fucking terrible? He isnt bad honestly, like, at all really. Not only is he not really that bad he ACTIVELY FUCKING LISTENS TO THIS BITCH AND?? BECOMES A BETTER PERSON?? he deserves so much better. I hate persephone in this book and she is the main character and i just found her so unbelievably annoying. Like. Half the 2 dimensional, not at all fleshed out remotely characters were more enjoyable for me to read. I loved Hermes but he also read as flat and likes sex and games and thats it really. I visualized him as a silly little twink though and that probably helped.

This book was just so attrocious it sets up plot that just doesnt even need to be a plot line and conflates it so out of proportion and then NOTHING AND NOTHING THEY DONT DO ANYTHING WITH IT!

10/10 if you are looking for a trashy novel i think it took my slow ass 3 days to finish reading and then i did nothing but complain to everyone that would listen and THEN i bought the rest in whAT IS A FUCKING TRILOGY?? AND THERE ARE BOOKS IN HADES PERSPECTIVE????

Oh oh oh would also like to establish, it didnt occur to me that this was an aggressively smutty romance book when I first bought it, I didnt notice the lack of publication house, I just thought it would be a cute Hades x Persephone book with some tragic conflict. I felt no romantic build up or sexual tension while reading and the first sex scene hit me like a fucking truck I was astonished.

Also the Hades book reads better but I also just?? Liked Hades as a character significantly more and I havent finished it yet but already it felt, like it had better plot construction, and real conflict, instead of this fake ass shit that Persephone was making a huge massive deal out of.

It also deals with some rape-y shit so if that triggers you definitely don't read, that is one of the conflict points but I hated it and felt it was addressed as a way to move plot rather than bring actual light to the issue of it. It let Hades swoop in after his girl got drugged and had like no other repercussions or trauma tied to the experience or anything really.

I have to go back and read it again to get all of my major bullet point issues, I would also like to highlight every time they bring up flowers and then never use it for forshadowing or meaningful symbolism because it happens a lot throughout the book to the point of me, a notoriously dense individual, actually noticing and getting annoyed by it.

All of the annoyance of the book just adds to the charm, but really, only read it if you don't know what an actual good romance book looks like and couldn't get a better suggestion, OR, if you are just a bad book aficionado like myself.

[taylornock]

moments + feelings.

life is weird. its fucking weird!

there are so many things that happen in your life for a reason. so. damn. many. and the people, the people in your life. i am a firm believer and lover of the power of people to change you - i can not even begin to explain the impact that different people have had on my life as i have grown. good or bad, big or small, simple or major big picture, the people i am surrounded by are constantly shaping the person that i am.

i am so incredibly blessed with the life i have, and although there are days i curse the heavens for whatever is thrown at me or my loved ones, i am so unbelievably grateful. when i look at the people i love and whose name pops up on my phone throughout the day it leaves me speechless.

its so hard to recognize and appreciate that all these people care about me and acknowledge my thoughts and feelings and interests. connections are so special, and i value them more than anything.

i don’t care what anyone tells you, money means nothing. in the grand scheme of things if i have $15 to my name but have the best people to spend that $15 on, everything makes sense. this is how it’s supposed to be.

i could write for hours on the impact of random people on my life. the impact of my parents. the impact of the family in cleveland and all over the world who have raised me. the impact of my friends who have taught me more about maturity, growth, and who i am myself than i could even begin to think of on my own.

its a wednesday night in july around 10:13 pm and im writing this because i don’t know why? i am feeling extra #tender tonight and want to start writing out feelings like this so i can remember them.

this year, i have had some of the best “feelings”; those type of feelings i know i should write down immediately.

i remember the feeling of looking at my roommate, my best friend, the sister i never had, as we woke up on a sunday morning and realized that we were both going to receive bids from the sororities we wanted; that after a 2 week period of self conscious judging and overanalyzing we found places that we could call home inside the school we had already made ours. i love you, E. i remember the feeling of watching my favorite band light up a stage in columbus with beautiful graphics of malibu skies, and leaning my head on the shoulder of one of my best friends who loves music in her soul just as much as me, feeling so connected and happy at one of the greatest nights ive ever had. i love you, C. i remember the feeling of the first stupid drive around the suburbs in my best friend’s white subaru, just like it was summer 2018 again and we were just graduating high school sobbing about leaving each other for schools 74 miles away from each other. i love you,E. i remember the feeling of venting to my best friend about anxiety and how much of a struggle is to tell everyone you are okay and let your parents know that maybe it isn’t just you and you need someone to tell you that you are gonna be okay. i remember talking to each other and realizing that just taking a pill for the serotonin in our bodies that doesn’t quite add up doesnt make us science experiments; it makes us just as human and struggling as the rest of the whole god damn planet. i love you, J.

at school, i remember the feeling of telling one of my best friends that i didnt know if i was okay and i thought i was going crazy. i remember her telling me to never apologize and to stop fucking saying sorry. saying sorry for what? being sad? i remember her feeding my tissues as i laid in her bed and telling me she would take me to as many appointments that i needed to tell me that i was gonna be okay. i love you, R.

i remember the feeling of leaving behind my dorm, that number 7 2 7, that i had called my own home and the first sign of independence id had for the past year. i loved that little tiny box and every soul that flew in and out of it so much, my heart still hurts. i remember walking across the hall to say goodbye to the sister i had developed over the past semester, and hugging her into my chest as we both sobbed refusing to believe that all the fun was over. i love you, J.

its so hard for me to accept change, and when things are different, i hate facing the truth of the matter in that life goes on keeping steady moving no matter how fucking hard you try and stop it.

all of these feelings are in my mind and make up every inch of my being - i am feeling especially overwhelmed in this moment with all these times that ive had.

the inner demons in me are telling me that writing this is stupid and i need to stop having epiphanies when im alone - but for the first time in a long time im telling myself to shut up. being alone makes me sad and think extra hard but right now i am going to cherish the feeling of my hot laptop on my legs and the sound of the fan running in my room as i write this in the silence of my house. i am going to miss this moment more than i can understand in years from now, when things are so so much different and never as simple as they are now.

i hate how much time i take for granted and i hate how much i complain about the things that dont even matter. i love everyone and everything in my life so much, even the days and things i HATE have made me the person i am. i love people, i love music i love quotes i love things i love places . i love living and i love writing. i love writing about this moment and all the moments to come - im going to make this page a journal of moments. follow along with me for alllllll the feelings of life baby. imma do me and i want everyone to feel it with me. lets connect  

xoxoxox

gossiP GIRL

[bnha-hcs]

Some Starbucks Rage

So me and @bnha-villians-hc-and-imagines​ were originally going to work on some Starbucks AU stuff because we both suffer in that hell but it became less of an AU and more of a rage induced ranting session so I’m posting it here so y’all can do with this as you will. Be warned there’s a lot of cursing and caps lock lmao

STARBUCKS RAGE:

Me, Tiki:

You come in every fucking day and can’t seem to figure out how the creamer works for whatever fucking reason so I always end up having to pour it for you IT’s NOT THAT FUCKING HARD JUST UNSCREW THE CAP

You keep coming in and just saying “mocha” and I don’t understand what you’re asking STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE I’M STUPID WHEN I ASK YOU HOT OR COLD JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION PLS THERE’S A LINE

Lmao fuck,,, If you come in one more time and ask for a cup of whipped cream I will have you feel the wrath of god.png

You came up to the front counter and keep changing your mind about which mug you’re buying and I’m handing them back to you to put away like, you know, good people do and you’re getting mad at me saying you don’t want it PLEASE JUST PUT THE FUCKING CUPS BACK WHERE YOU FOUND THEM

“Is it too late to change my milk from regular to almond milk??” Me, holding the finished drink and about to set it down on the bar: “No, I guess I’ll Make a BRAND NEW ONE”

If you say “just a little bit” one more time while I’m toasting your fucking bagel I will shove it down your fucking throat oh my gods

I asked you about a million times if you wanted your (insert pastry item here) warmed up and you said no so I hand it to you and you suddenly go, “Oh wait,,, :c can I have it warmed up?”Me, inserting a gun into my mouth: “sure”

If you keep coming in and ordering off the fcuking “secret menu” one more time I’m going to launch you into the sun

yOU ALWAYS COME IN HERE WITH GIFT CARDS THAT HAVE REWARDS ON THEM WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHY DO YOU HAVE 6 REWARDS AND WHY DO YOUR CARDS NOT WORK ON THE FUCKING TERMINAL AND I CAN’T SEE THE NUMBERS ON THEM TO TYPE THEM IN FUCK YOU

You ate 7/8ths of the fucking panini and then came back to complain that it was cold NO I’M NOT GOING TO FUCKING REFUND IT

You and your group of friends came in completely drunk at 8 in the morning pls stop yelling at each other to shut up and just order something AND STOP FUCKING WITH THE DISPLAYS

I ask you if you want room in your coffee for cream and sugar and you either say “just cream” or “just sugar” and i don’t think you fucking understand that they’re the fucking same JUST SAY YES YOU NEED ROOM

If you spill your entire drink all over the fucking bar don’t just stand there and look lost for fucks sake julia CLEAN UP YOUR GODDAMN MESS.

“Do you have (insert breakfast sandwich) right now?” “no we don’t sorry.” “WELL WHAT DO YOU HAVE??” Me, two feet away from the display case: “We have whatever’s in the case” “Well what’s in the case??” I DON’T KNOW KAREN WHY DON’T YOU USE YOUR EYES AND FIND OUT??

Don’t get fucking mad because you have to wait two seconds for the pike to brew I’M SORRY WE HAVE TO BREW IT EVERY 30 MINUTES WOULD YOU RATHER NOT GET ANY AT ALL YOU MOLDY DONUT

Sorry i don’t know all the ingredients for every single syrup we own I DON’T FUCKING KNOW IF PEPPERMINT HAS DAIRY IN IT BUT I WOULD ASSUME NOT

nO i can’t fucking cut your panini or breakfast sandwich in half I don’t have a knife stop asking

You came in asking if you could buy a bag of chips that we don’t sell and you literally have the bag of chips what the fuck where did you get this bag of chips sir did you just STEAL A BAG A CHIPS TO BUY IT AT A STARBUCKS

No i’m not giving you a fcuking sleeve for your cold drink THIS IS WHY WE RUN OUT BY FUCKING NOON BC BOO BOO THE FOOL CAN’T HOLD A COLD DRINK APPARENTLY

FUCKING There aren’t any fucking soap suds in your goddamn coffee sir THEY’RE NOT SOAP BUBBLES It’s a goddamn reaction of when the carbon dioxide and the bean oils combine it makes the bubbles. It’s not soap. For fucks sakesIT GOES AWAY IN 2-3 MINUTES AND GUESS WHAT ASSWIPE THE MORE BUBBLES THE FRESHER THE COFFEE SO YOU CAN KISS MY CANDY SWEET CANDY ASS

////

@bnha-villians-hc-and-imagines​:

You always mobile order but you dont fucking come get your drink until 45 minutes later and i H a T E you

You come in. Everyday. Asking if we have pumpkin spice. It is fucking march. STOP.

You ordered a starbucks doubleshot on ice with 12 shots with no cream or sweetener. And asked for it to be filled with cold brew instead of milk or water. For the third time today. Are you okay? ... Seriously, are you okay?

I saw you stuff handfuls of our splenda and sugar packets into your jacket. Who are you and why are you like this?

No you cant hand me all your trash through the drive thru window, fuck you.

I'm taking an order over the head set, taking money from the window and struggling to also put a lid on this frappaccino- YOU CAN WAIT, PERSON AT FRONT COUNTER.

I was scheduled to work with two people over a peak period, both didn't show up. I am running the store myself, this isn't sweat these ARE TEARS. (Tiki im sorry u lived through this)

Please dont yell at me if your card declines. That is all.

Getting angry when I dont laugh at/agree with your racist/sexist/transphobic/homophobic joke doesnt make you right or a victim. I hope you drive into a tree.

No im not going to use my partner numbers on your order???? Who??? The fuck???? Do you think you are????

Stop smoking in drive thru. STOP IT. FUCKING STOP. STOP.

Its 9pm. OF COURSE WE HAVE LIKE NO FOOD ITEMS WE ARE CLOSING DOWN THE STORE U DUMBSHIT.

i cant pick out artichokes from your sandwich what the fuck? Is this subway? No.

I dont care about your diet. Stop telling me that its cheat day.

If im mopping. Dont. Walk. Through. My. EFFORTS. Please. Im not even finished with half the store. Just go to the other side its 3 steps away please.

Dont say “coffee” in the drive thru and drive off to my front window you fucking ignoramus.

Get off your phone when ordering. Fuck you. And your phone call.

Im not looking at your laptop while im sweeping don't give me a side eye, for fucks sake.

I SAW YOU STEAL THAT PACKET OF CHOCOLATE COVERED GRAHAM CRACKERS. AT LEAST TRY TO BE SNEAKY.

If i cant scan ur panini at front counter, it doesnt mean its free. Please stop making this joke. Im just going to put it in manually. Please stop trying to take it from me. I need to warm it- please- stop- ITS NOT WARM PLEASE STOP- please. Please. *4 minutes later once they have their coffee* “uh. No one warmed up my panini” *they hold up the panini that they SNATCHED FROM ME* me, stabbing myself and performing seppuku; “tell my mother i love her”

You walked into my store and cut in line. Why are you upset that i tell you to move? Why? Who are you? Who raised you?

Just because you call me “darlin’” doesnt mean i will flirt with u. You're like fucking 46. I am 20.

STOP. GIVING. YOUR. ORDER. IN. THE. PASSENGER. SIDE. OF. THE. CAR. WHEN. ORDERING. AT. THE. DRIVE-THRU. I. CANT. HEAR. YOU. JUST TELL YOUR DRIVER WHAT YOU WANT SO I CAN HEAR THE ORDER PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU.

“I want a vintage (yes) white chocolate mocha with 3 pumps of raspberry” “venti?” “vintage” “..venti..” “VINTAGE” “okay.”

“Hi welcome to starbucks can you please hold on a moment for me” “CAN I GET A UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, TOASTED WHITE CHOCOLATE MOCHA WITH NO WHIP, EXTRA HOT WITH EXTRA PRIVILEGE AND I WANT IT DOUBLE CUPPED/// Me, Juggling 3 paninis and trying to take money from an old lady who doesnt know what silence is and is telling me about her 5th grandkid picking his nose; “hi welcome to starbucks i hope you fucking choke”

If one more god damn person looks at me, in my fucking eyes, and tells me they wanted their latte iced when i asked 459 times if it was hot/iced then i will choke a bitch.

“Can i add to my order. At the window. After i paid, and after you've given me my drinks?” me, crying; “okay”

You came in, ordered a kids temp hot chocolate, and now you are complaining that its. Not. Hot. Enough? Go die.

Im sorry that we ran out of cakepops Sharon, but calm the fuck down. Please.

Hi i noticed you came through our drive thru/store at 9:58pm and I just wanna let you know that everyone in the store hates you with an unrelenting rage that will hopefully melt the skin off your face. Oh? You need 4 caramel fraps and 2 black and white mochas, both iced with no whip and half and half as the base? Fuck you.

////

[agentduckorico]

here have a list of some of my favorite twrp blogs because im Really Feeling It right now

@interstellar-slutstrut my partner in crime, probably the reason i started TWHP i think? We’re always on the same wavelength and is the BEST RPER he has a life and he’s 3 hours behind me so he doesn’t always reply buT WHEN HE DOES. GODDAMN. GOOD SHIT. With whom i have basically solidified a lot of my headcanons

@havvehoagie first twrp friend!!! lvoely bean holds a special place in my cold dead heart

@chaoticmindelectric GREAT ART HOLY SHIT. Beautiful glowy lighting!!! Gorgeous lining! AMAZING!!

@captainsaltypear Havve stan. Probably the only TWRP fan from Singapore. Somehow shares my goddamn name. SAME MOOD? SAME MOOD!!

@karaizawa Would Actually Die for Sung (honestly same tho), really cute blocky sharp art!!! I love!! Amazing Sung headcanon I love!!! The only person I’ve met who actually likes Sung’s stache other than Sung himself

@glowbos  Has somehow been to like a thousand TWRP concerts (im fuckin jealous), is always making food when in vc, PRETTY HAIR PRETTY HUMAN, the Adult of one of the twrp servers, I once entered voice chat to hear Addy cooking and complaining about Phobos having no ass and honestly that’s all u really need to know. A slut for space.

@literallythecheshirecat/ @galacticvegetable THE CUTEST MEOUCH ART I HAVE EVER SEEN GODDAMN, actually has facecanons for Sung’s moms and therefore is better than me in every way, ANOTHER CUTE SUNG, yall haven’t seen veggie’s havve facecanon but i have and its beautiful, CUTE BUNNY PHOBOS I LOVE

@jhobos Will absolutely kick Sung’s ass i believe in u em, Eye Makeup Deity, Alpha Sung, a beautiful human who imo rocks Sung’s outfit better than that weird Canadian dude with the stache

@nonbinaryphobos ADORABLE ART, otomotobos, the cutest coloring and highlights I’ve seen, i dont even know how to describe it other than “cute”

@deadymcdead S L E N D E R  H A V V E, you can absolutely count on deady to add cute lil tags to shit, crosshatching, actually gives Havve’s mask three dimensions and is therefore better than me in every way, i like to go thru Deady’s blog to look at art and tags u should try it sometime

@bajilliancomedy  TUPPERWARE SHITPOST PARTY, always good to test angst against, if i need a specific twrp photo you’ve got it, gr8 twrp aesthetic blog, it’s a fuckiNG REMOTE JILL YOU HOOLIGAN

@rhombustron  MY PARTNER IN TWANGST, at least like a third of my main headcanons for twrp come from ford, ALSO A GOOD ARTIST like goddamn homie ur Sung is super cute and I absolutely love him! THAT GOOD HAVVE FACECANON (we do not talk about Hell Hogan), I always get really excited when I open my inbox to see “rhombustron said to tupperwareheadcanonparty”

@owlabouttwrp if i miss a twrp post u can be damn sure that i can find it on this blog

@lespobs WRITES GOOD SHIT GODDAMN, somehow i consider u one of the god tier twrp blogs even tho u post a lot of kpop, this is the only blog i don’t unfollow bc it posts kpop because ur twrp shit is just [clenches fist] so good

@lesbianmeouch WHY ARE THERE SO MANY GOOD ARTISTS IN THIS FANDOM GODDAMN, posts a lot of aesthetic shit which i love

@commandermeouch knows everyone (i kept seeing “foleh” everywhere and now i know who it is i feel like i’ve unlocked a secret), “torp”, along with glowbos foleh is responsible for most of the live show images and gifs and i thank god for that every day, great tagging system

@doc-sung-appreciation-blog Unsurprisingly a Sung stan. Surprisingly posts about more than just Sung.

@meouchy-boy Meouch stan. will absolutely fight everyone and everything. doesnt use tags a lot but when he does theyre golden

@autisticphobos thAT GOOD STIM HEADCANONS, may not tag ur twrp shit but will absolutely reblog it

THERES A LOT MORE BUT I GOTTA GO DO HOMEWORK NOW BYE I LOVE YOU GUSY

[voidimparchive]

heres a list of like... cashier pet peeves & things to do to Not make ur cashier Fucking Miserable

bag ur fucking raw meat. listen u might think it looks clean but a lot of times its NOT. & not only is it like... nasty to touch but we also gotta touch other ppls food!! dont do that!!! ppl dont want fuckin cow blood on their apples ok

but also like?? dont put more than one per bag?? otherwise the cashier has to like dig through it to scan each one & it kinda defeats the purpose & also takes forever

if u have multiple of one fruit/vegetable/etc put them in a bag bc half that shit goes by weight anyway & its REALLY hard to weigh it when ur trying to put everything on the scale & it keeps catching the barcode & ringing it up before ur done. & then u like.. still have some left & also ur like wait did that last one get weighed w that or not? did it register weight from my hand when i was putting it down??

also like. even if it doesnt go by weight. put it in a bag. no one wants to pick up 20 individual oranges that keep rolling around on the damn belt

PLEASE when u do bag things keep different items separate even if theyre the same price bc it fucks up the inventory

i know the peppers are all a dollar but yellow peppers have a different plu than red peppers okay!!

also dont bag like... regular items??? we have a lady who always puts her yogurt in the produce bags like do u realize how hard that makes it to scan them?? esp bc theyre all different flavors so again we cant just scan one and do a quantity bc it fucks up the inventory

& my god if ur gonna buy fuckin. 30 bottles of pop & keep them in the cart MAKE SURE THEYRE NEAT!! we have to be able to count them!! i dont want to scan 30 individual bottles just like you dont want to put them all on the belt but we gotta be able to Actually See how many u have & im not risking my job over u stealing a bottle of pop accidentally or otherwise!! corporate doesnt give a shit if its an accident

also like... if ur gonna put one on the belt & say “oh i have this many” but u have like. different kinds please put up one of each bc again. inventory

also KEEP THINGS GROUPED TOGETHER it makes it a lot easier to bag shit. u dont like everything all thrown in bags randomly?? dont put it on the belt randomly!! group like ur cans ur cold shit ur produce etc etc please

but dont fuckin.. stack shit?? even if its not very high the belt Loves to push things around & knock shit over dont do it

also idk if other stores do this but where i work theres a part of the belt thats like narrower than the rest & it kinda slants toward the cashier & its supposed to like... guide the items along but its fucking GARBAGE & instead it just smashes shit. so PLEASE try not to put ur items wider than that narrowest part. its ok if like some things are a little bit over but like dont put it all the way to both edges of the belt!! things will get stuck or smashed. do not trust that thing it does not do its job

also!! dividers exist for a reason!! even if u think ur order is far enough away from the persons in front of u its hard to tell sometimes bc again, shit gets backed up & the belt pushes it all together

also if ur gonna leave things in ur cart try to make sure the barcodes are visible?? please dont make me flip over all of your six cases of pop bc the barcodes are on the bottom (which like, they should absolutely put it in more than one place but... they dont). just put it so the barcode is up or out or otherwise in a position that is easily accessible

dont put money/ coupons directly on the belt. it will eat them

try to have ur money ready?? i know sometimes u kinda. forget. but please try. cashiers are usually timed & when u take forever to pay it kinda... counts against us

also re: being timed please try to know what ur actually getting like...before?? u start to check out??? i know sometimes things add up to more than u initially expected but like. dont take five minutes to decide on each and every item u have. we do have price checks. please use them

god please put the fucking bags in ur cart as they fill up (also this doesnt rly... apply everywhere, but we have our bags on like a carousel where i work so if the store u go to has that dont reach over to a bag the cashier is still working on theres a reason they havent turned it towards u yet)

please if ur using reusable bags (which by the way we all fucking hate. just use the regular ones & recycle them. the reusable ones are a pain to pack) PLEASE PLEASE P L E A S E MAKE SURE THEYRE CLEAN god ppl come in w em & theyve got like... food spilled on em, theyre sticky, a lot of them have pet hair all over them like.... dont be that person okay

re: grouping things together, & this is kinda more directed at other cashiers but maybe dont... put like pet food w chemicals. i know a lot of ppl just group all the non food stuff together but like. it is still technically food. its not food for you, but another living thing is still going to consume that. if u wouldnt put it with YOUR food dont put it w ur pets food

dont complain that there are no registers open or the lines are long or theres no carts or a bunch of things were out of stock please we already know i promise u a thousand ppl before u have already complained abt it & weve already called the appropriate manager or department but there is nothing we as cashiers can personally do about it

if u ask to talk to a manager!! please say why!! esp if the cashier asks. dont just say “i want to talk to a manager” over & over bc the manager is probably Fucking Busy & usually its something that can be solved another way!! 99% of the time theres no need for them to get involved & it would be faster to get it taken care of if we DONT have to call them & have them drop what theyre doing to come & talk to you personally

dont try to sneak into a closed lane w a long line. we see you. & when we say “this line is closed” dont say “i was already here” bc no u fucking werent. if our lane is closed u better believe we are watching the end of that line like a fucking HAWK to make sure we get outta there as soon as fucking possible.

also please dont pull the “but i only have a few things!!” act bc i swear half the ppl who do that can never make up their mind on what they actually want. & also now i either gotta stay even LONGER letting ten other ppl w three things each into my line or look like an asshole for saying no to everyone else that just has a few items. i know ur trying to get out of here. so am i.

my god please if ur going to like the twelve items or fewer lane. 20 of the same thing doesnt count as one item. we cant do quantities on those lanes BECAUSE they are supposed to be a limited amount of items anyway so we shouldnt NEED a quantity option. just go to a regular lane

also dont try to go into one of those lanes w a bunch of shit?? if ur a couple items over its fine but like... dont be an asshole. “but all the other lines are long” isnt an excuse. u know WHY this line is short? bc the ppl in it only have a couple items & we can get them through faster. if u try to go through those lanes w a bunch of items ur backing up the line & deafeating the whole purpose. dont be an asshole!!!

god theres. so much more. but this is already So Long and i am So Tired. im gonna take a nap

[randomthingsthatilike1]

Okay, but Eliza neglected Alex. Did she mean to? No. Was she trying to hurt her? No. Is that still child abuse? God yes. Alex could never be good enough, could never do anything right. Alex flat out said that Eliza blamed her for Kara not dating enough. What kind of bullshit is that?? I'm not saying that Eliza is a bad person, but she put way too much on Alex's shoulders at way too young an age. She neglected her and emotionally abused her, whether or not she meant to.

wait i dont even remember, when did eliza say something to alex about kara dating? and like. for all intents and purposes, kara was v much a special needs child and eliza is a single parent, and alex is her older sister--and i think this post describes it p well. This isn’t katherine grant, who’s just straight out mean to cat and won’t even give her a hug. this is a woman dealing with a kid who, if not handled correctly, could very easily kill them if she loses control of her powers--and we all know how cruel children and teenagers can be. Eliza can’t be everywhere, and she’s doing it all on her own--so yeah, she over relies on Alex because it’s not even just ‘your sister needs you to function’ it’s ‘your sister needs you to make sure she doesnt accidentally kill anyone.’ There’s been a lot of talk about kara having SPD, if u want it i can try and dig it up--that was from last season.

and i’m not a sibling to someone with special needs, i can’t talk about that experience but i’ve definitely heard stories from people i know about being given a lot more responsibilities and dedicating a lot more of their time to helping their siblings than maybe joining that extracurricular or going abroad or going to a school even 10 minutes further away

and yeah, eliza talks about being less harsh on kara, because really kara just lost everyone, and then was dumped on the danvers really by her only remaining relative. eliza says it like she’s a girl from another planet who just lost everything--who can also very easily leave and never come back if she wanted, or felt like she was trapped.

and instantly when finding out that this is how alex feels she apologizes, adjusting her behavior once she found out how alex was feeling, and we see that not just in the thanksgiving episode but when alex and j’onn visit midvale and in the next thanksgiving episode. and alex not doing anything right part--alex could do something right. eliza told winn how proud she was of alex for working in the same field as her

and also like. we all know just how much alex bottles up her feelings. the fact that eliza doesnt question alex’s feelings or make her second guess anything and yes changes both her behavior towards both alex and kara makes me think that this is a pretty new conversation topic, at least since jeremiah died. because anyone who’s an older sibling will say, it’s an adjustment to having a younger sibling, especially one who’s an alien refugee. And Clark literally just dropped kara off on their doorstep, it’s not like they had much time to prepare.

that’s not saying eliza didn’t make mistakes. but one child needed help with everything and eliza was just one person, and also grieving for her husband and constantly looking over her shoulder to see when the next person in a suit would show up, because the only reason why they left kara alone was because jeremiah was working for them--and he’s not anymore. this isn’t a simple case of ‘oh i have 2 children and one of them i like better’

also there has been some research into what siblings of children with special needs experience that are almost universal, and a documentary filmmaker named Rachel Feighter interviewed a bunch of siblings in a documentary “Not Typical” some common experiences she found were

“Feeling like they need to be perfect. Siblings of individuals with special needs know how hard their parents work to ensure all of their sibling’s needs are met, and often see their parents struggle to meet these needs. Many feel like they can’t make mistakes because that would add to their parents’ burden, so they believe they must be perfect at all times. This is an impossible standard to meet, and can lead to stress and feelings of inadequacy. One girl said she felt like she “had to be Ms. Perfect and not have any problems for [her] parents to deal with.” Another said that she felt as though she could never be “enough.”

Feeling like they can’t express their feelings. Most typically developing children love their sibling with special needs. Yet they may also resent how much of their parents’ time is taken up by caring for their sibling or feel embarrassed about their sibling’s behavior. One girl said she “was never allowed to mourn openly or to be mad or sad about [her] brother” and another said her friends thought she was being mean if she said anything bad about her sister, even though friends with typically developing siblings often complain.

Having a different idea of family and home. For most children the concept of family is based in togetherness. But when a sibling has special needs, family quality time may look different. One girl recalled that her mother was “assigned” to her sister with special needs and her father was “assigned” to her. The family often spent time apart, especially when it involved leaving the house.

Feeling as though their problems are minimized. Sometimes a sibling with special needs has complex and even life-threatening problems. An issue faced by a typically developing sibling, whether it is a problem with a friend or an academic struggle, may seem small compared to having limited mobility, learning difficulties or sensory issues that require intensive care or prevent a child from attending the neighborhood school. One girl said her parents rarely dealt with her problems, instead telling her to be “strong.” 

Feeling isolated. Typically developing siblings may be lonely because they don’t have peers who have siblings with special needs. So they feel different when their friends ask “what’s wrong with your sister?” Some children also feel self-conscious about their sibling with special needs, and aren’t sure when or how to tell their friends about him.

Dealing with intolerance early and often. Children learn early that there is not universal acceptance for individuals with special needs, and that their sibling is not welcome everywhere that typically developing children are. This can be deeply disappointing to typically developing children who want to have shared experiences with their sibling. They regularly encounter individuals who refuse to move from seats designated for individuals with disabilities, and those who make unkind comments about other accommodations their sister needs. These early lessons in intolerance, and even hate, can affect their world view and make them cynical or resentful of the limitations placed on their sibling and themselves as a result.

Feeling like they are asked to help too much. Some typically developing children are expected to help care for their sibling with special needs from a young age, even if that sibling is older. One girl said that she felt like the “attention police” at home since her mother was constantly telling her that she had to pay attention to her sibling with special needs. Many are told early on that they will be expected to care for their sibling when their parents are no longer able to do so. This puts enormous pressure on them.

Feeling like they must grow up quickly. Because of the sum of their experiences, from feeling as though they are on their own to handle their problems to feeling pressure to be perfect to being given responsibility for their brother or sister, some siblings of children with special needs feel as though they are forced to grow up too quickly.”

Most typically developing children love their siblings with special needs beyond measure and are close to them. But to better understand and support them, it’s important to acknowledge their struggles. There is a need for more information about the experience of growing up with a sibling with special needs. While there are a few places the stories of these siblings are told, such as the fictional book “Wonder” by R.J. Palacio, hearing from the siblings themselves in “Not Typical” will help many feel less alone and better understood.

i know that was long, but tell me--does that sound like alex danvers to you? These are not quite universal experiences but apparently pretty damn common. And this is all as a newly single mother, taking care of a deeply traumatized alien. Considering how quickly Eliza changed her behavior once she found out how Alex truly felt, I genuinely think that Eliza didn’t realize how hurt Alex was feeling.

[meru90]

(different anon) i think it's less the length of time and more the stage of development that's being pointed out as an issue, like how 18 y/o are already adults and 15 y/o still kids- its like a college student dating a highschool sophmore. and even assuming that they're both liking each other, that still puts them on uneven ground in terms of maturity that can lead to a power imbalance, even if its unintentional

im posting some ask like this cause damn this uncererly expanded and i was ready for bed ; v;; you are all thinking way too much into this…

Anonym schrieb an meru90:i think what they mean is that otabek is 18, which is technically an adult. and so otayuri is kinda iffy because in a relationship between a 15 y/o and a 18 y/o theres a bit of a power imbalance which can lead to an unhealthy relationship.

Anonym schrieb an meru90: (not the same anon but these are the reasons i can think of for people not liking otayuri) i think its more that (at least in the us) 18 is legally the age when one is an adult… and maybe because 3 years isnt a big difference in the long run but during the teen years esp, 3 years means a big gap in like mental and emotional maturity cause puberty

Anonym schrieb an meru90: BUB I DONT GET IT EITHER they just hugging they ain’t doing anything illegal but peeps still get a lil cranky even tho in some countries (I think Russia as well I could be wrong) the age of consent is 15-16. Their ship is honestly just two high schoolers dating which last time I checked is pretty gosh dang normal, unfortunately some folks only see the age gap and automatically assume it’s illegal. ANYWAY IVE BEEN BABBLIN I LOVE YOUR ART AND I HOPE YOU KEEP DRAWING EVERYTHING YOU LOVE peace out✌️

Anonym schrieb an meru90:it’s a big deal because there is a HUGE amount of maturization that goes on from being 15 to 18. yurio has even said it himself, his body has not developed yet. 18 is a legal adult, 15 is not even old enough to drive.

Anonym schrieb an meru90:Throwing my 2 cents, but I find it rather uncomfortable considering that Yurio is literally a child and also very child-like in his behavior, especially compared to the older characters who despite their quirks have an air of maturity about them, so when there’s people shipping him with Otabek & JJ and whoever else in romantic and sexual manners, regardless of whether it’s fiction or not, it’s still a child being sexualised by older people which I find kind of disturbing.

I just don’t ship otayuri (sexually) ATM because while it’s only three years, Obatek is a legal adult and someone around fifteen… Of course once they are both adults you will need to pry the ship out of my cold dead hands. Anyway, that’s my personal opinion, but of course you can have yours

I’m not a passionate shipper of otayuri but honestly I don’t think age is much of a problem. It’s not like once you turn 18 you suddenly become an adult. legally you may be an adult, but that’s just for legal purposes. a 3-year age gap is still a 3-year age gap. It’s reasonably small. outside the fictional world though, its wiser to follow laws. that’s just my opinion!! (And what does the anon who unfollowed you mean by genderbends? i’m confused by that?)

Anonym schrieb an meru90:GIRL ITS FICTIONAL THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH IT not to mention i bet half of these ppl complaining ship kiyoyachi and yakulev guess what they have basically the same age gap so shame on uuu!!! (btw love u and ur art)

I don’t mind a gap difference of 3 years,people are claiming that this is a matter of maturity are quite weird because you’re certainly not mature enough in only 3 years. Anyways, my problem with you is that you think that because you have your opinion people should respect yours. They shouldn’t Socrate died because people thought everyone should have their opinion,nut it’s not necessary a good thing. There is bad opinions ! They aren’t all good

Hey what’s good? I just wanted to say do you, I personally don’t agree with the shippings for similar reason to the anons but at the end of the day it’s just a ship.I’ve seen lots of age diff relationships and life and some have turned out insanely well and others not so well,it all depends on the compatibility of them. I ignore it because it doesnt bother me so much? there’s so much more immoral to worry about than a 15 and an 28 y/o getting into a relationship. Have fun and stay awesome

Anonym schrieb an meru90:I don’t like to add to the pointless discussion but the people who complain about otayuri age difference probably still ship 1st year and 3rd year high school students. Who have the exact same age difference!

Anonym schrieb an meru90:lol die fighten jetzt echt wegen otayuri? sind doch nur irwie 3 jahre unterschied nicht??? so unnötig. Im laughing my ass off here wtfff

Anonym schrieb an meru90:i can’t stand the underage discourse at all, i’ve had to abandon a number of fandoms since the atmosphere was intolerable, bloodhounds ready to destroy and kill you over your personal fictional preferences. jfc let people enjoy whatever they want ugh

Anonym schrieb an meru90:don't listen to that bs >.< ship what you want. and otayuri is a perfectly shippable pairing. not to mention that shipping a pairing does not always mean that you immediately want them to jump into bed tgther, I mean seriously... otayuri ftw!

Anonym schrieb an meru90:bruh, some people get so offended by the smallest things. Like if you don't like, don't look it's as simple as that! Don't let these people stop you from drawing Otayuri cause honestly the way you draw them is lovely!

Anonym schrieb an meru90:I think people are blowing this a bit out of proportion.. peeps need to chill out

Anonym schrieb an meru90:honestly people are being way to mean to you about what you want to draw if they are ganna talk shit to you then they should come off anonymous. your art is good and you should continue to draw what you want and just block the people who have a problem with it cuz people who are technically 18 still date like 16 year olds and such its called high school it happens

Anonym schrieb an meru90:genderbend isnt transphobic... i dont understand why its so wrong to imagine a character being a opposite gender i think its absolutely ridiculous my own community give hate or talk as if it is. its art. personally i just imagine genderbend in the spectrum of being opposite gender cis wise, or trans, or non binary. its a word and damn people are triggered its so dumb i really cant deal with tumblr and I'm sorry you get bombarded with hate honestly people take things too seriously lmao

Anonym schrieb an meru90:Honestly, just ignore all these people sending rude messages. It's a testament to their character that they'd criticise you for doing nothing wrong. 15 and 18 year-olds date all the time, and there's nothing wrong with shipping characters in a platonic friendship. Both Yurio and Otabek have strong, mature personalities - there's nothing about them that indicates anything bad or abusive would happen. I love your YOI art, so draw whatever makes you happiest, regardless of people with little minds❤

Anonym schrieb an meru90:IT IS NOT LIKE MERU IS DRAWING SMUT OR ANYTHING SEXUAL FOR GODS SAKE PLZ LEAVE MERU ALONE THE AGE DIFDERENCE IS WAY SMALLER THAN THE ONE BETWEEN VITOR AMD YURI AND NOBODY SAYS OTAYURI GET TOGETHER BEFORE YURI IS AN ADULT STFU HONESTLY

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS - CHRISTMAS SPECIAL: 9th December 2018

Geez, today was a busy week. Before we talk about the top 10, however, let’s just get the massive elephants out of the way.

CHRISTMAS NONSENSE

It’s the festive season and one way people celebrate the holidays is by listening to its music – usually, Christmas music, of course, and since I review all returning entries that I haven’t talked about yet, sigh... There are seven of these so I’m going to go as quick as possible, but just bear with me throughout this section because I really don’t like Christmas music all that much. Let’s just get it over with.

#39 – “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” – Brenda Lee

This is “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”, a song written by Johnny Marks and released in 1958 in the US, being left on the shelf for four years until its release in the UK in 1962. In 1963, it peaked at number-six and has since re-entered due to digital downloads, with one of its highest recent peaks being number-seven last year. It’s pretty inoffensive rockabilly, with some nice very-50s guitar licks coming in throughout, and some decently-sounding production, but really it’s not anything of internet until that sax solo. That solo is freaking gorgeous, and I’m glad it’s there, because otherwise this would just kind of fall to the wayside. Not sure I like Lee’s voice on here, it comes off as a bit nasal, but it’s not a big deal. It’s alright, I guess. I expected to say RIP here since she was popular such a long time ago, but no, she’s still alive and kicking. Good for her.

#36 – “Merry Christmas Everyone” – Shakin’ Stevens

Now this is where it all breaks down into dread. This song by Shakin’ Stevens is Godawful, mostly because of how painfully manufactured the whole thing is. It’s overproduced Christmas music that is just jolly feelings and nothing else. Those horns that kick in after the first verse are pretty cool, but Stevens doesn’t sound great here – or at least I can’t tell because he’s drowned in reverb – and the choir might as well be a computer for all I care. Also, the sax solo was cool the first time in Brenda Lee’s track, but here it’s just trite, especially when you add those shooby-doo-wops over it. This track was initially the Christmas number-one for 1985, and I understand why, but does it really have to come back every year since 2007 – for over 60 weeks in total? Oh, it peaked last year at #10 too. Let’s hope this upwards trend doesn’t continue.

#35 – “Santa Tell Me” – Ariana Grande

Now for a more recent one from arguably the biggest popstar in the world right now, with her 2014 song that actually failed to chart in the Top 40 initially until last year at #29, and that’s its peak so far... whilst I’ve never been a fan of the cleaner, refined Ariana Grande records, I do have a soft spot for this one. That melody is infectious and the sleigh bells complement the synth bass in a way I didn’t think they would, and it’s not like the drums are all that overpowering here, although a trap skitter would have worked better here (yeah, I know, not something I say often). It’s surprisingly romantic and sensual for a song with Santa in the title, actually, although it’s about men who have wronged her. Anyway, Ariana kills it but what else do you expect from a song from her at this point? It’s a good track, although the final chorus with the choir is really cluttered, just saying, it’s messy.

#30 – “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” – Michael Bublé

This here is Michael Bublé’s cover of traditional Christmas classic written in 1951 by Meredith Wilson, and it’s not great. Obviously, I mean, it’s Michael Bublé, ever since “Haven’t Met You Yet” he’s been utterly useless seasonal radio fodder. Bublé never really sounds bad but he never sounds interesting, and this production isn’t doing him any favours. It’s sickly sweet strings and brass for the most part, with some piano added in there for good measure, after what seems to be way too long of just airy synth, string and guitar noise – that’s really out of place, guys, why is this on the single edit? Ah, what else to say? Oh, right, nothing.

#26 – “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” – Band Aid

Oh, I know it’s Christmas time, alright, this song won’t let me forget it. I could ramble on about how preachy and awful this charity single is but other people have done it better. I just have four short things to say – 1.) this was the most popular song in the UK of the entire 80s. Yikes. 2.) This is the worst thing the Boomtown Rats have had any involvement in. They’re such a great band, hell so are Culture Club. How do Boy George, the Boomtown Rats, Ultravox, Phil Collins, U2, Kool & the Gang, Sting and Duran Duran make something this awful? They’re all absolutely fantastic musicians in their own right. 3.) That synth that kicks in after a while is pretty ugly, not gonna lie, and is unfitting for the condescending Christmas charity single angle they’re going for here – mostly because that’s what it really is. 4.) We’ve remade and reissued and re-entered this song too many times. Let it go, Britain. Please. We’re begging you. It’s for a good cause, and I appreciate how much money it’s raised, but it’s also garbage.

#18 – “Fairytale of New York” – The Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl

They use the word because it was the 80s, it’s not meant to mean homosexual and it’s not used in that context – albeit still a negative one – and the climate of Ireland, especially the Celtic punk scene, wasn’t exactly going to care about dropping that slur in their Christmas single. It should still be censored, though, I mean, black rappers saying the N-word is morally okay, but we still mute those, right? Anyway, this is one of the best songs I’ve ever heard. It starts with a beautifully elegant piano melody, with the lead singer of the Pogues, Shane MacGowan, mumbling his way through his verse, but instead of people like Future or Lil Baby, there’s still a lot of sincerity there, I feel, and a lot of soul is put into expressing the lyrics here in the raspy tone that I absolutely love. I’m not going to talk much about the story here mostly because I’m not going to go in-depth, but it’s about a typical love story going awry at some point due to a betrayal. Oh, and the moment the Celtic traditional instruments come in is one of the best moments in music – ever. Kirsty MacColl sounds so lovely here, and the harmonisations in the chorus are fantastic. That flute solo is gorgeous, and the juxtaposition between “you’re a bum, you’re a punk, you’re an old s--- on junk, lying there almost dead as a drip on that bed” and the cheerful instrumental is just hilarious to me, especially since right after “Happy Christmas your a---, I thank God it’s our last” is immediately followed by the bombastic drunk sing-a-long chorus. The third verse is also such a great back-and-forth, man, I can’t even bring to words how much I admire and adore this piece of music. This is the best song I think I’ve ever talked about on this show, by far, but it could have easily not been close if “2000 Miles” by the Pretenders returned this week. We’ll just hope for next week, I guess. Rest in peace to Kirsty MacColl, gone much too young.

#14 – “Last Christmas” – WHAM!

Finally, we have our last Christmas song for this week’s holiday REVIEWING THE CHARTS special. It’s an anti-climactic end, to be honest, because I’m pretty indifferent to this song. It’s pretty 80s, to be fair, so I’ve got to like some of the cheesy falsetto vocalisations from the late George Michael at the start, as well as those repetitive synths that keep themselves from sounding awful by having those sleigh bells and pretty damn nice keys covering them. That chorus is iconic, but the rest of the lyrics are just forgettable. Honestly, it’s a good background song and it’s a well-written, catchy pop track with Michael putting in some good vocals throughout, but, it’s nothing special. Nothing but respect to George Michael, though, rest in peace, he’s a pop legend over here.

Christmas Conclusion

The best Christmas song on the charts right now is easily “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues and Kirsty MacColl, but an Honourable Mention goes to Mariah Carey for “All I Want for Christmas is You”. Yup, that’s still here, we’ll get to that in a second. Worst of the Week goes to Band Aid for “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” You should be ashamed, Bob. Dishonourable Mention is going to Shakin’ Stevens for “Merry Christmas Everyone”. Other Christmas songs you should check out are “Christmas in Harlem” by Kanye West, Teyana Taylor and CyHi tha Prynce featuring Musiq Soulchild (heck, check out the longer version if you wish), “2000 Miles” by the Pretenders, “Stop the Cavalry” by Jona Lewie, “Christmas Lights” by Coldplay, “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” by Tyler, the Creator and “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” by DMX. Yes, those last two actually exist. Now, this Christmas section has taken longer and is longer to read than about half of my normal episodes, so I think we should get straight into...

Top 10

Well, this all feels a bit more familiar. “thank u, next” by Ariana Grande is still at the top of the charts five weeks in, and it doesn’t really seem to have much competition.

Ava Max, however, is making a surprise run for the top, up four spots to number-two, with “Sweet but Psycho”. I wouldn’t exactly be complaining if this hit the top either.

“Without Me” by Halsey is up a spot to number-three.

We have a new entry from the most recent X Factor winner, Dalton Harris, with a cover of Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s Christmas classic “The Power of Love”, featuring James Arthur. I guess awful Christmas songs aren’t going away for that long, huh? Obviously this is Dalton’s first top 10, and Arthur’s fifth.

“Thursday” by Jess Glynne is down two spaces to number-three.

Up a whopping 28 spaces this week to number-six is, you guessed it, Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You”. This isn’t its first top 10 turn, and it’s not its peak, but still impressive to reach here nonetheless.

This means “Woman Like Me” by Little Mix featuring Nicki Minaj is down five spaces to number-seven.

“Rewrite the Stars” by James Arthur and Anne-Marie has actually gained nine spaces, surprisingly, and to my dismay, to number-eight, becoming Arthur’s sixth and Anne-Marie’s fifth.

Oh, and if you wanted even worse news, up an even larger 29 spaces is “KIKA” by 6ix9ine featuring Tory Lanez, becoming both their first (and hopefully for 6ix9ine, only) top 10 hit at number-nine. I like the song, but I don’t like Tekashi, to say the least.

We have another new entry at #10 this week with “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” by Mark Ronson featuring Miley Cyrus. This is Ronson’s sixth top 10 hit and Cyrus’ fourth (yeah, I thought she had more too).

Now, instead of separating what happened on the charts into Dropouts, Climbers, Returning Entries, Fallers and such, let’s separate into two sections: “What Survived” and “What Suffered”.

What Survived

What survived means essentially everything that still managed to chart this week, and I’m actually surprised by how much power some of these songs have. Going in reverse order, I have no idea how “Arms Around You” by XXXTENTACION, Lil Pump, Swae Lee and Maluma managed to cling on despite a 17-space fall to #40. “Promises” by Calvin Harris and Sam Smith is down 16 to #38, “Baby Shark” by Pinkfong is down four to #37, “Empty Space” by James Arthur is down 10 to #34 (why did James Arthur of all people have the strength to stay during the avalanche?), “Hold My Girl” by George Ezra is down eight to #33, “Shallow” by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper is down 27 to #32 (considering both streaming cuts and Christmas bloodbath), “Leave a Light On” by Tom Walker has returned to #31 for some reason, “when the party’s over” by Billie Eilish is down seven to #28 (again, surprised this one’s still here), “Taki Taki” by DJ Snake, Ozuna, Cardi B and Selena Gomez is down eight to #27, “1999” by Charli XCX and Troye Sivan is down 11 to #24, “Polaroid” by James Blue, Liam Payne and Lennon Stella is down 11 to #23, “Let You Love Me” by Rita Ora is down eight to #22, “Better” by Khalid is down five to #20, “Sunflower” by Post Malone and Swae Lee is down seven to #16, as is “ZEZE” by Kodak Black featuring Travis Scott and Offset right next to it at #15, “Funky Friday” by Dave and Fredo is down five to #12, and everything else that’s currently charting is either simply not notable (a drop or climb less than four spaces), in the top 10, a new arrival, a Christmas re-entry or in the top 10. Jesus. Now, what’s gone?

What Suffered

This is a little nicer name for what’s dropped out in the absolute onslaught of Christmas music and new arrivals (all returning and new entries this week total to 12 songs that weren’t on the chart before). This week was an absolute bloodbath, and these are the murder victims. Former #1 “Shotgun” by George Ezra is out from #30, “Advice” by Cadet and Deno Driz is out from #28, “AirForce” by Digdat is out from the #20 debut, “Mo Bamba” by Sheck Wes is out prematurely from #27, “This is Me” by Keala Settle and the Greatest Showman Ensemble is out again from #36, another former #1 “Eastside” by benny blanco, Halsey and Khalid is out from #31, “Happier” by Marshmello and Bastille is out from #32, “I Found You” by benny blanco and Calvin Harris is out from #29, “MIA” by Bad Bunny featuring Drake is out from #35, “Always Remember Us this Way” by Lady Gaga is out from #39, “Goodbye” by Jason Derulo and David Guetta featuring Nicki Minaj and Willy William is out from #40 and finally, “Back and Forth” by MK, Jonas Blue and Becky Hill is out from #37. I’d say it’s time to move onto the New Arrivals – but before, I’d like to say that the BBC redesigned their UK Top 40 page, and it looks pretty cool. Anyways:

NEW ARRIVALS

#29 – “MAMA” – 6ix9ine featuring Kanye West and Nicki Minaj

Of course, DUMMY BOY only had a stunted tracking week last week, so we have the effects of the album this week. This is 6ix9ine’s third top 40 hit in the UK, Nicki Minaj’s thirty-seventh (yeah, I know, it’s insane), and Ye’s even crazier forty-third, and to be honest, it’s inoffensive, which is something I’d never thought I’d say about a 6ix9ine song, but, hey, it is what it is. Murda Beatz’s production is pretty cool for what it is, and I do like the eerie synth loop. 6ix9ine’s delivery is lazy and boring – and I still think we shouldn’t let rappers say they kick women out of doors – but he doesn’t last long so when Kanye comes in with that “man, oh my God” refrain it gets so much better. I’m so used to Kanye West’s pop-culture rambling, social media criticism/obsession, somehow relating to women nonsense he brings to nearly every single verse he does recently that I’m used to it, it’s just something I’ve heard before delivered relatively comedically. Nicki’s refrain and verse actually has some work put into it, unlike the dudes’ bars, so yeah, I appreciate that, although her delivery and cadence is exhaustingly blunt and straightforward, to the point where it’s just kind of tiring. There’s some decent wordplay there, I guess. This is okay enough, and pretty much top-tier Tekashi to be honest. “KANGA” also featuring Ye is even better, though.

#17 – “Going Bad” – Meek Mill featuring Drake

Meek Mill and Drake working together is something I expected to happen anyway. Meek and Drake have seemingly squashed their beef and have relaxed after the “Back to Back” situation and their popular 2015/2016 beef that revealed a lot about Drake, specifically his ghostwriting from Quentin Miller, and eventually stressed Meek’s relationship with Nicki enough for them to break up as a result. Oh, and you better believe they mention “back to back” because of course they do, it’s the only funny wordplay they can conjure up, apparently. This is Meek Mill’s first ever top 40 hit in the UK (congratulations) and in stark contrast, Drake’s forty-fifth (yes, even more than Kanye), and his thirteenth just this year (probably and hopefully his last), and it’s mediocre. I didn’t know what to expect because I’ve never really cared enough about Meek to listen to him, but an out-of-tune piano absolutely demolished by some bass while Drake spouts off with stuff like “I got more slaps than the Beatles” isn’t exactly the best first impression. Is there a chorus here, or not? I can’t tell, everything’s just kind of the same until the ad-lib break that’s long enough for Genius to count it as an entirely different section of the song than in Meek’s verse. It was “Interlude” when I looked but it might be “Post-Chorus” now. Yeah, it should be clear I don’t care enough about this song. I do like Drake’s delivery in the hook, though, it’s pretty energetic, but not enough to save it.

#10 – “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” – Mark Ronson featuring Miley Cyrus

So, yeah, I like this. It starts with some beautiful strings right before Miley Cyrus fades in with her country twang that I’m starting to really appreciate, and those guitars come in to complement her and the deeper bass that I like the addition of, it really contrasts the otherwise pretty light production, that seems to be dramatic but kind of unfitting for the lyrical content about how the world can hurt you but heartbreak is the worst possible thing, because despite the beat’s melodrama it’s too upbeat to really work here, I feel. Ah, well, the hook is pretty memorable, and the orchestral stings is just one little barely-noticeable production quirk that I can talk about, seriously, Mark Ronson puts so much effort into crafting these songs over the years, it’s pretty great. It may be a bit too repetitive and slow for my taste, but, yeah, I can dig this. Good song, just not much to say about it.

#4 – “The Power of Love” – Dalton Harris featuring James Arthur

The girl gets Leona Lewis, the Scouse dude gets Kaiser Chiefs, yet the WINNER gets James Arthur?! Really, James Arthur? Poor dude. You must know you’re an amazingly talented singer when you get James Arthur put on your song and you still make a surprisingly decent winner’s single, hell, even win in the first place. Arthur is such an awful vacuum of talent, I was scared Harris would be affected by this but no, even with my half-bothering with the show this year I can tell he’s been consistently great, and he’s definitely not bad on here either, although the production has no unique charm to it and is just plastic Syco production as you expect, with James Arthur bringing an above-average performance (this means still pretty bad) with his moaning and straining that just pains me to listen to. Seriously, James, let’s have a cactus-to-man talk and let me teach you how to not sound like my dead cat who just popped some Xanax.

Conclusion

Worst of the Week goes to Dalton Harris and James Arthur for “The Power of Love” – at least “Going Bad” has some energy and legitimate soul to it, although Meek Mill and Drake still get Dishonourable Mention. Mark Ronson and Miley Cyrus take Best of the Week home for “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart”, and hell Kanye and Nicki made “MAMA” bearable enough for them and 6ix9ine to get Honourable Mentions. See ya next week, where we’ll probably see a few more Christmas songs. Delightful.

[vee-blackwell]

i got a bout of depression that hit tonight from not being distracted enough to avoid getting in my own head and i think i had too many bad thoughts about who i am VS family acceptance

my queer things, my interest things, my (lack of) set goals.

it hurt a lot to try and explain transgender things to my gramma while watching I Am Jazz, when talking about nonbinary people using “they/them” pronouns, she essentially said that if you dont use he/him or she/her then you have no gender “so you’re just nothing” which was just too close to home (literally) for me to hear as someone who doesnt feel anywhere close to any definition of gender, and am definitely not enough % to feel comfortable going on the male side of the binary.

that’s the hard part of that. it seems like it would be easier to tell her i’m bisexual or something (another term that doesnt really match me, but explaining asexuality or the differences between pansexual and bisexual self-identities is another thing thats hard to do with an 86 year old woman). but then what if it changes how she asks me about anyone i hang out with or makes weird assumptions about my relationships?

but at the same time, in watching this show with her, where she’s trying her best to be open-minded and learn about transgender people via watching I Am Jazz, she starts asking me to explain things in the show. not in a negative way, again, shes trying to understand which is more than i could hope for other 80+ year old grandparents. but then she asks me how i know so much about transgender people and issues they face when its things she doesnt expect people i know in real life, close to me, to have dealt with yet. and i have to play the “Educated Ally” instead of the “Depressed, Closeted Transperson” and hope she doesnt go from asking about my friends that are out to wondering about me. because it just makes me fearful of being in another time period of living in an abusive and unsupportive / negligent household where i never feel safe and im constantly arguing with my family. and i dont need that, or even to feel like im risking getting to that point again

i at least want to feel like i wouldnt be kicked out of the house and become homeless, or stop getting money from my family if i came out at all... but how many other transpeople had the same thoughts and were totally wrong? my mom who watched some of the show with us today almost immediately misgendered one of the transgirls on the show, talking about how **she (i dont want to misgender even by quoting my mom) clearly didnt have hormone blockers as long as Jazz because **her voice had changed. and it’s like, alright, she uses a feminine name, looks like any other normal high school girl, and has been working to try and get her voice to pass better, and it’s still so easy for ignorant people like my mom to pick up on that one thing they feel doesn’t fit right and just misgender someone immediately. and it’s worrisome. because i know how easy it is for “the average adult” around my mom’s age to miss the point entirely on how someone works to transition and making their own personal choices

...

im just queer and tired and fearful. my mind screaming at me “do SOMEthing” every time i wake up is like the echo of a broken record player that’s playing somewhere i can barely hear it. so i do something. i get a food. i grab a game. i grab my phone for games. i grab a video, or a game tutorial, or ANOTHER computer game, or i go on social media sites. and i do all these empty “SOMEthings” to mute the bad thoughts like the ones above. the ones that both overwhelm me into submission and also make me numb to any emotions.

i get bored of the phone game, the magickarp jump cooldown timers are all that’s left.

i get bored of harvest moon, after realizing that i was 1 floor away from the bottom of the mines last time i get frustrated. do i go back for it again and make the long boring trek, or do i go back to grinding cooking recipes so i can finally make that god damn tempura meal? each day passes as quickly or as stagnantly as i please thanks to my emulator. freeze time and do my daily farm chores, use the inventory item dupe glitch to keep stocked every gift item i need to give everyone, show everyone on the local islands my pets for bonus friendship points, unfreeze time so that the one fisherman character will finally show up to talk to and i give him his daily gift and show him my dog, i go fishing with frozen or unfrozen time as i choose. the day is done. time for the next one.

i get bored of the computer games that both tantalize me into playing them because i love them and want the mental stimulation, yet the other screens beckon to me stronger, and i sit on the 3 blue hellsites, toggling between them in mixed intervals.

i get bored of neopets, because it is after midnight and its the 3rd day in the row i forgot to do my dailies. god DAMMIT i’m never going to get trudy’s shitty 30 day bonus spin for those 100k neopoints if i keep this up. i go onto the help boards, and bump up the lottery board. copy and paste my old post, add the moneybag emoticon and congrats the winners. short list gives the UNs. long list gets generalized. the regular group of lottery players and bumpers congratulate and recognize each other, making the odd chat message about their lives. this is as far as i chat on the neoboards now because i have no social energy otherwise to talk to other neopets friends about how life is still depressing, and trying to speak around the child filters and character limits.

i go to my mom’s room, its hard to predict if she’ll be home at 5 pm or 8 pm or 11 pm or gone to her shitty boyfriend’s house. it had been GTA V. then crash bandicoot warped (ps3 port). and now skyrim with the DLC. i play it as i spend my life, there are markers telling me where i should go for quests to progress, yet i wander aimless around the world finding something more interesting to explore until i finally remember what i meant to do. my mom comes home, and i ask if she wants me to get out so she can sleep. she says its fine, and leaves the lamp on shining on her bed. it becomes after midnight, my gramma scolds me for staying in there when my mom is sleeping. while i agree, my hyperfocus is hard to break, and it still takes me more time than it should to simply save and quit in the middle of my doing nothing of importance in the game that i play for the middle of my doing nothing of important in my life.

i eat wherever i spend my activity. TV tray by my bed at all times now, my propel bottle sways like a top heavy asshole everytime its moved. the tissue box takes up space for food, but everytime i move it on my bed its either in the way or not close enough to use when i need it. my nose is still almost ready to bleed from the dry summer air. im still dehydrated because i lack the ability to remember to drink the juice, milk, or propel bottles within arms reach.

it’s 3 am, or probably later. i ask joey if it’s time to sleep. i take my melatonin, we both brush our teeth and say goodnight. am i lying to him again this night, and apologizing and saying i’ll do it for real? this could happen twice before the guilt takes over and i either cave and do it for real, or stay awake focused on my daily nothingness distractions.

on the days its 5 am or later, my mom wakes for work. we talk about the cat. we always talk about the cat. sometimes she says her work is shit and that shes in pain. things that are obvious. she leaves for work and says goodnight to me in the hopes i go to sleep soon.

i sleep. around 11 am to 1 pm is around the time i get woken for my medications. anxiety, depression, birth control pill (1 daily for 3 weeks at a time). i have to eat and drink with it, so its something simple. on bad days i fall back asleep for over an hour. like a sloth, i drag the tray of food to me, resting the plate or bowl on my bed to eat as i stay laying down. sitting up means i feel more obligated to stay awake after this. i finish the food, drink, and my pills, and shove the tray back against my closet, and lie back down in bed forcing myself to sleep.

it becomes anywhere from 3 pm to 5 pm, on bad days its 6 and later. i lay in bed after waking up maybe two or three other times from sweating, or tossing and turning with bad dreams or being awake enough that i could get up, but unmotivated or too depressed to get up and have to be awake for that much more time. i crawl to the computer first, turning off my nightly music and going online on steam. just so whoever cares knows im awake. i go adjust the thermostat as both i need as well as what wont freeze my gramma to death (or at least to complaining for hours). i say that i dont know what i want for food. she offers a suggestion, and i say sure. i return to my room until food is brought to me, and i grab juice or milk to have with my meal. it probably gets cold if it was meant to be eaten hot.

i get a food. i grab a game. i grab my phone for games. i grab a video, or a game tutorial, or ANOTHER computer game, or i go on social media sites. and i do all these empty “SOMEthings” to mute the bad thoughts like the ones above. the ones that both overwhelm me into submission and also make me numb to any emotions. the pattern repeats.

...

this has been Vee Life Simulator. sorry. no refunds.