#god certain fandoms really are trash

[missmugiwara]

Just Say It Already

Summary: fem!reader x Gojo // Satoru is an ass, but he's your ass. He just loves getting under your skin - especially with the way he's been calling you his girlfriend for years. But guess what? You're so in denial about it. Warning: 18+, NSFW, smut, flirty, the Gojo rizz, so much sexual tension going on but I live for that, friends to lovers, unprotected sex, swearing, it's complicated, slow burn, mutual pining Note: Oh my god. I told myself to stop writing for more fandoms, but look what happened. Foaming at the mouth for my insane love of this man. Some minor spoilers if not caught up to season 2?

✦ Word count is 7.7k. Thanks for bearing with me and reading! I just really love long stuff! ✦

Quietly, you spoke to Nanami as you recapped the details of your last mission with him and training Itadori. Nanami nodded here and there, looking focused, listening attentively and appearing as cool as ever. As you two conversed, you both didn't even realize a certain someone passing by on his way out of the meeting room. A small hum left Gojo's lips, and he paused at the doorway. As if to get a better view, his hand pulled the blindfold upward from his face to reveal a singular blue eye whilst adorning a smirk so wicked that it only meant one thing: Gojo was up to no good.

"Trying to steal my girlfriend away from me, hm?"

And the conversation instantly ended. Nanami hissed through his teeth. You twitched in anger, an apparent frown pulling your lips downward. In synch, you both turned to the white-haired man with the cheshire grin as he cocked his head to the side. That sapphire eye fluttered to meet your gaze. Another moment, and Gojo returned the blindfold to where it once was before resting his hands in his pockets. It was painfully obvious he was savoring this.

"Satoru! How many times do I gotta say it!? I'm not your girlfriend!"

You whipped around to face him, taking an index finger and poking him repeatedly in the chest. He only laughed in response. You whined and sped up the poking at his cheerful display, trying to hide your obvious chagrin somehow with this. You fought and fought so hard to stop the growing heat to your face, but your fluster was so evident to Gojo himself that you knew he would just tease you more.

As if he didn't do it enough already!

It was so difficult to try and not be flustered, but ugh. Gojo was so good at unraveling you at the seams no matter how many times you were accustomed to this… wooing, one guessed it could be called.

"Not my girlfriend yet!" he purred, cocky as ever. He grabbed your hand to rest on his chest, and you fumed even further when he took a step forward. When he loomed over you like that, it was so easy to forget how freaking tall he was. He seemed so big no matter what height you were. You immediately pulled your hand from his.

"Not your girlfriend ever! Stop saying that! People will get the wrong idea!"

"Oh, but I want them to get the wrong idea."

The blindfold was slid upward on his forehead again, held there by a thumb, just to make sure his sultry expression was visible. He peered at you with heavily lidded eyes and a smirk so coy that it -

Well, it just -

It just made your heart race. Made you melt. Made your mind spiral.

Once more, the rising heat against your cheeks blossomed anew.

Gojo had been doing this shit since the dawn of time. Ever since long ago, way back into your youth. You were students at the time, and you had been flirting with another student from the Kyoto school during the exchange event. Like a typical silly high schooler, you just wanted to go on a date. All of a sudden, Gojo came flying in and kicked the guy square in the face - knocking him out cold on the spot. When you frantically screamed out of confusion, Gojo responded with a cheeky smile.

"What? This guy's trash."

Another pause and he leered at the unconscious highschooler with a sort of dark gaze.

"Lay off my girlfriend."

Ever since then, your sweet Gojo interrupted your love life - continuing these daring exploits well into adulthood. It seemed he lived for the sole sake of pushing your buttons. Pushing your buttons and making sure you were miserable.

And single.

Forever.

One time, you both were walking together to a work meeting across campus - now that you both were teachers. You were engaged in a very flirty phone call with a boyfriend. Gojo swiped the phone from your hand, earning him a gasp. Answering a phone call with Gojo right next to you was a big mistake, and you clearly should have known better. You pathetically hopped next to his tall, lean frame to try grabbing the phone (as he stretched out one arm to comically hold you back).

"Oh, hey - yeah. Look, we are very busy right now," Gojo would emphasize provactively, "so don't call back." As Gojo pulled the phone from his ear, you heard screaming from the other end before Gojo promptly hung up. That's when you knew you had another ex.

There was even a time when Gojo had invited himself over (unannounced as usual) while you ran around your apartment wrapped in a towel to get ready for a date. It was with a shy guy you had been out with a handful of times. But when said date finally showed up to the door? Gojo answered it with a frown. Oh, your date was shocked to say the least: trembling, scared, a fumbling mess as he clutched a bouquet of flowers to his chest. His jaw dropped upon seeing Gojo - a way more attractive, beautiful, model-like man who for some reason was there. Gojo took only one look at the guy, just one look and -

"Oh, god, no."

And slammed the door right in his poor face. Gojo turned toward you, smirking as always, as your jaw dropped in turn. He gave you a deliciously teasing smirk. You couldn't believe Gojo would be so daring! You went to the bathroom for one second, and this happened? That guy you were seeing wasn't actually bad (well, maybe he was kind of a square, didn't like anything you did, a bad kisser… but still).

Why? Why? Why was Gojo doing this!? He made you so freaking mad!

Satoru Gojo was so arrogant, so infuriating, so unbearable! Not to mention, he was so…

So…

He was so…

So damn hot.

Fuck.

Let's face it - the man was walking sex.

Whatever spell Gojo put you under, you hoped it would last an eternity. Because loving him was so natural. Sure you got mad at him, but maybe - just maybe the way he wanted you all to himself was kind of attractive. Just a little. When he walked in the room, butterflies took flight in your stomach. When he smiled at you, you restrained from grabbing his face to smooch those glossy lips. The way he put his hand so casually on your knee while talking during a meeting would send you over the edge.

No one ever looked at you like Gojo did. No one ever made you feel like Gojo did. Man didn't even need to try and you were a hot mess.

And those guys mentioned before? They were trash, just like Gojo said. There were lots of failed relationships. Because one cheated on you, one stood you up, one borrowed your car and crashed it - and yet you kept dating losers? Now somehow Gojo was able to tell who would hurt you from the beginning. So he put up these ridiculous defenses to protect you.

Speaking of ridiculous, it even reminded you of how you broke up with someone once. They complained that you spent too much time with Gojo and needed to stop being his friend. Nothing had ever made you angrier than that. No way would you ever push Satoru Gojo out of your life.

Despite the failed relationships, there were some good times, but only because of Gojo. One time, Gojo appeared at your door with snacks and a movie. Upon seeing your puffy, red eyes fresh from crying after being dumped - Gojo immediately dropped everything and was off to kick the guy's ass.

Satoru Gojo really, truly cared about you. Even if people thought he cared about nothing but himself - well, they were just stupid. They didn't understand how loneliness accompanied great strength. Nobody understood him like you did.

There was nothing wrong with Gojo. You didn't hate him, and he certainly knew that too. Because the two of you knew each other for forever, and you were quite smitten. Quite comfortable in snuggling on the couch after a bad break up, quite comfortable with his head on your lap and talking into the early hours of the morning. Never kissed, never groped, never pushed any boundaries… and yet you ran back to him as if he were always your lover. And he to you, through all his casual dates as well. Dates that always made you seethe with jealousy.

Gojo was close to your heart, but he definitely got on your nerves! He was conceited, a jokester, always did whatever he wanted - but this flirting game was so confusing. With the way Gojo acted, it was just… was he serious about liking you like that or was he really just poking fun at you after all these years? And that's what drove you mad the most.

Or maybe what drove you mad the most was the way you kept trying to push him away. Maybe you were pretending to be mad at Gojo about all of this girlfriend nonsense, to find something that could be your excuse to not date him. Because you feared losing him in this mad jujutsu world, just like how you lost your friends Haibara and Geto long ago. Everything was so difficult even though your heart swelled at the way Gojo seemed to want you so much. What if you got in a relationship with Gojo and it ended badly? Heartbreak from Gojo would be awful, but heartbreak from others? That was easy. Why were you in these awful relationships and never putting effort into them?

Whatever the reason was, it was all so stupid. It was obvious you were acting absurd. But if Gojo could just be more clear instead of leaving you to writhe in whatever frustrated state this was - yes, that would be great. Or maybe if you could stop acting this way, this nonsensical way, that would also be great.

"You know I'm just talking work business with Nanami. No one's stealing me from you."

You scoffed and crossed your arms, cheeks still hot, as you turned away from the tall man. Hopefully, the sarcasm got across. Nanami was long gone by now since he was always annoyed by Gojo's persistent little attempts to drive you wild. A chuckle and Gojo stepped forward to press his chest into your back, gently tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear as his lips lowered to it.

"Aw, come on, baby. You know I'm the jealous type."

After a pause, he blew a puff of air into your ear rather hotly. You jumped out of your skin and squealed. Goosebumps erupted on your neck, and you clutched your chest as Gojo grinned widely. Damn him for being such a tease. After a moment of gaining composure (and catching your breath), you smirked impishly.

Because you were so bad. You stroked his ego only further than he did to himself. In fact, anyone could clearly see you egged each other on way too much. Many times, people had called you both out on it - insisted you two just needed to get a room already.

"Why, Satoru!" you batted your lashes dramatically, resting the back of your hand to your forehead, "No man could ever sweep me off my feet when I have you - the strongest. No one could ever compare. They should be jealous of you."

A pause. Gojo smiled as he pulled back in an amused manner.

"See? This is why we're perfect for each other. You get me."

Know what else could never compare? The audacity. The audacity this man had was second to none.

You snorted out a laugh, "Please! No need to feel so threatened."

"Oh, I assure you I'm not. Dumbasses who think they actually have a chance with you?" he paused to chuckle, "Just putting them in their place. No one's good enough for you. Only the best."

As you reached for your coat resting on a chair, you stopped. Quickly, you turned to Gojo to try reading his expression, but the blindfold was back to covering his eyes. His plump lips were upturned into an innocent, closed-mouth smile - a genuine smile over one of those carefree smirks. He leaned against the wall, hands in pockets again, waiting patiently.

Only the best.

A fiery heat fluttered over your cheeks. Huh, well he certainly believed he was the best, so was he referring to himself when he said you deserved the best? He took your breath away. He was sweet when it mattered most. He was arrogant but had a heart. Despite others overlooking this, only seeing Gojo as one thing - the strongest - you knew otherwise. For many years, you always thought you weren't perfect enough to be with the strongest. You worried about living in Gojo's shadow, of unwarranted expectations from others, of him judging you for not being like him… but those feelings were silly. Even though they still fizzled in the back of your brain. Moreover, Gojo never did think less of you. So after another moment of reflection, you mirrored his soft smile.

"Do you really mean that?"

"I don't lie to you."

A small chuckle.

"Satoru, you… you're so sweet, you know that?"

"I know! The sweetest, right? Quality boyfriend material!"

His pink cheeks and goofy grin were adorable, his hands splayed out into the air in emphasis of his quality. In a failed attempt to look mad, you stifled a laugh. Gojo got you once again with his bravado. He was amazing. The way his tone brightened up and became chipper. The way he was so serious one minute and so silly the next.

For a split second, you wondered why your mouth just moved on its own.

You placed your hands on your hips as you gave him a lidded gaze, "Careful, Satoru! I just might fall for you."

Gojo sang back, "That's the plan!"

No hesitation whatsoever. Too bad he didn't know you fell years ago. Unless if he did know then you were just his plaything again, but you were more than happy to be his personal toy. More than happy to be used and teased by Satoru Gojo. Whatever he wanted. Why keep doing this to yourself though? Ignoring the rising anxiety, you draped your coat over your arm and turned to him.

"You know what would make me fall even more? Being spoiled. Let's go grab a drink, yeah? You pay this time!"

A grin as you walked up to the man, slinging an arm around his waist.

"Whaaat? Come on!"

He said facetiously, also with a smile, only to rest a lean arm around your shoulders as you laughed. And so began another trip to the bar between a couple of old friends after a terribly boring work meeting. More like a couple of fools, cackling down the sidewalk, arms around each other - acting as if they were already drunk. A couple of fools, sitting on an empty train car as the sun set - your arms wrapped possesively around Gojo's and your head leaning against his shoulder. Faces so close you could feel each other's breaths between all the jokes, the snickers, the whispers, the attempts at flirting but you shooting him down. A couple of fools, you whining when Gojo's mouth pressed close to the sensitive skin at your neck, nearly nipping you. A couple of fools, with you smacking his hand away when it rose too comfortably inward on your thigh.

A couple of fools indeed.

Since it was a weekday, the bar was pretty empty. The lights were low, and Gojo grabbed his drink only to cause the ice to clink gently when raised to his mouth. He took a sip, then set it down. He was never really a drinker, but once in a while he indulged. His crystal blue eyes darted over to meet your gaze. You rested your head in your hand and released a heavenly sigh.

He looked damn good. White collared shirt with the first few buttons undone, part of his collar bone peeking out, dark sunglasses perched so prettily atop his nose. His niveous hair flowed and framed his perfect face like a work of art.

He really was so gorgeous. Beauty so effortless.

His gaze turned lusty as he noticed you staring.

"Like what you see?"

Lay off my girlfriend.

Gojo's lips curled into a delicious smirk at the memory of the first time he called you his precious girlfriend. Honestly, he just did it out of boredom and wanted to see how angry you would get. Oh, and he was right about one thing.

It was so funny.

So he kept it up. Even when you went to college and took a hiatus from jujutsu. Even when he hung out with you between classes. Even when you came back. When you stood in your new teaching uniform at the gate to the school grounds, Gojo called out.

"Oh, did you miss me that much that you came crawling back? Well, I forgive you because… you're my girl. My one and only."

The wind blew, and you turned to him with the most astonished expression ever. The way he said that… he spoke so lovingly. Gojo tilted his head. How could you look so speechless when he had been calling you his for years? Amazing. A pause, and a tender look in your misty eyes formed. A tiny smile appeared, but you bit your lip to stop it from growing. Gojo's breath caught in his chest. He had never seen that look before. He thought you were going to get mad for certain.

"Come on, you big baby. We talk all the time! But if you must know, I did miss working with you… my Satoru. You never change."

A moment more, and Gojo realized -

Damn.

My Satoru.

He could have been brought to his knees. The way you looked melted his heart. The way your lips were glossed and eyes shined. The new hairstyle. The way your body formed new curvatures that were pleasing to his eyes. The way your face matured with the smallest of wrinkles now slightly forming as you began to approach your thirties. He knew it must have been from crinkling your face while laughing at his jokes all these years. He had never seen anything so sexy.

He did take a risk by calling you something different today, and he was so glad. Girlfriend never sounded crazy to him. It was the only thing he could say without freaking you out too much - to let you know how he felt. There was a problem though. It sounded so informal.

He wanted more than that.

Gojo always liked you. It was always more than a little crush. If you had asked, he would have told you how he felt without hesitation… but it never happened. Would you be all right with loving the strongest? Would that lead to high expectations of him being the perfect boyfriend? Huh. Gojo didn't give it much thought. Not that he was worried. Why was everything so hard? It didn't have to be, but you were both acting like children. Just because Satoru Gojo was the strongest did not mean he had everything. He did not have you. One of his best friends. The one that stayed.

He didn't mind waiting for you.

The look you gave him was so loving. And the way your eyes softened at him? Ugh, he couldn't take it. You never gave that look to anybody but Gojo. Nobody ever smiled at him like you did. Nobody ever wrapped their arms around him like you did. The way your mood brightened up when he walked in the room always sent him over the edge.

God, if only.

If only he could show you how much he loved you. If only you could scrunch up that pretty face while lying underneath him. Moaning with pleasure, eyes rolling back, crying out -

"Satoru!"

You whined, slapping your hands on the bar top. A chorus of glass shaking caused Gojo to blink and turn back to you, a slight blush on his face.

That was enough to snap you both out of lechorous daydreams. It was clear as day Gojo caught your dreamy gaze since you were so stupidly swirling the straw in your drink while biting your bottom lip a second ago. Gojo hummed playfully, his brows furrowing inward as he looked around for a second.

He raised his arm in the air to call the bartender, exclaiming that his girlfriend needed another drink to which you slapped his hand down. Oh, how he loved to embarass you as punishment. The moment you walked in that bar, Gojo went off. Really loudly, he drawled out the most shameful things. Oh, how sexy his girlfriend looked today. Oh, how thirsty his girlfriend was, and oh, how good of a boyfriend he was for taking his sweet girlfriend out.

He asked if you wanted another drink. You shook your head, murmuring that you were done for the day - just off to use the restroom before leaving. As usual, you insisted he could go on home without you, but he never took up the offer. Never wanted to go unless you were leaving with him. Now that you thought about it, that sounded very implicative. So with a wave of your hand to brush off your fluster, you told Gojo you'd be back in a minute.

Apparently, a lot can happen in one minute.

Because when you returned, some chick was seated next to Gojo. She had an obnoxious laugh, an incredibly ugly outfit, and Gojo looked utterly bored as he stared straight ahead at the wall of liquor behind the bar.

Your brows furrowed in disgust. She was trying to flirt, to get his number, or something. More importantly, this bitch needed to know that Gojo was here with you. This was when you hoped (oh god, for once you were admitting it) he would just simply state that he had… a girlfriend. Gojo never got the chance because you never left room for one. In a fit of rage, your body just moved on its own and flew over there. Gojo and the woman both looked up at you once your hand slammed on the bar.

"Get your hands off my -"

But you froze.

Your what?

"My…"

Your voice trembled. The expression in Gojo's eyes was so clearly readable when a smirk curled upon his lips. Because he sure as hell knew what was happening. You could practically read his mercilessly toying thoughts.

Hm? Just say it already.

That's exactly what he would say outloud! If he wanted. And he could, but alas he loved to torture you more. You could already imagine his velvety voice coming from those pretty, pretty lips of his.

You know you want to.

"My…"

Stop lying to yourself.

"My boyfriend!"

Gojo's mouth went into the surprised shape of an o, then a toothy grin. The woman's eyes widened in bewilderment. Immediately, she threw her hands up and backed away slowly. The expression on your face was indescribable. You glared as if she were a dumbstruck animal that just accidentally walked right into a wolf's den (with you being the wolf of course). You lividly watched her, making sure her ass scooted so far out of the bar that she was completely out of sight.

As soon as that woman was gone, you let out a sigh and your body relaxed. Fists unballed from your sides, and feeling those gorgeous blue eyes boring into your soul, you froze. Gojo was still there. So nervously, you blinked at him with a forced smile, but no amount of explanation could make this normal. No amount of excuses could get him to think otherwise. Especially from a tease like him who just heard the greatest slip-up of all time that revealed everything he wanted to hear but already knew deep down in his heart.

Gojo's sapphire eyes slowly drooped at you, the dark sunglasses slipping from his nose. The look he gave was absolutely sexy. He blinked once before his lips turned into a raunchy smirk.

"Your boyfriend, huh?"

That look, that dangerous yet lustful look in his eyes made your heart race. No matter what signals your brain fired to your body, you could not move. The first thought was: oh no, was this a mistake? The second was waiting for an onslaught of merciless jokes and teasing. But the latter never appeared. Carefully, you watched Gojo move smoothly as he took his chin from his hand, uncrossed his legs, and stood up.

"You wanna get outta here?"

He leaned his forehead to touch yours as his voice lowered to a whisper. It took every single ounce of willpower to stop yourself from pouncing him, from melting into a gooey, lovesick puddle on the floor. Gojo's breath fanned across your lips, and you whimpered at the sensation. Cheeks burning hot, you clutched your hands to your chest as Gojo chuckled before licking his lips. Eyes glued to his beautiful blue orbs. Your voice was barely a squeak, barely a whisper.

"Yes. Yes, I do. So badly."

With a hum, he just simply grabbed his coat.

"Turn around."

Gojo mused, and the smirk never left his face. On command, you immediately turned on your heel. Gojo gently draped his large coat over your shoulders. With his other free arm, he just gabbed your purse and coat to fold it over his arm. For some reason, your face was on fire at the gesture. Your mind was reeling.

"Then let's go, sweetheart. Can't keep you waiting any longer now, can I?"

An arm slung around your shoulders, Gojo's head tipped high into the air proudly as he led you out of the bar.

It was only an instant.

A blink of your eyes, and suddenly you were both in your apartment living room. Knowing Gojo as long as you have, teleportation antics were quite normal to deal with by now.

A pause.

You and Gojo just stared at each other. It was obvious your face was heated in a fluster, and cutely enough, there was a pink hue to his cheeks. Neither of you moved for a few seconds. Neither of you bothered to turn on the lights. His pale face was illuminated by the moonlight peeking through the windows. Then Gojo moved. He dropped your things to the floor and when his knuckles brushed against your jaw, thumb tucked under your chin as he leaned in -

It was over.

Your eyes fluttered shut, heartbeat thundered, lips parted as you let out a breathless sigh. Eagerly, you tipped your head upward to meet him.

Satoru Gojo's mouth touched yours.

The softest, most gentle kiss you had ever received. His lips were soft, plump - everything you imagined and more. They were warm. They were angelic. It was enough to make you question whether you were in heaven right now. A simple, soft kiss that lasted for a few seconds, and Gojo pulled away. When his lips released yours, he smirked because you had let out the tiniest moan.

With a slight nervous laugh, you both leaned in again to repeat that same soft kiss. This time, the white-haired seraph gently held your face in his hands, and you moved your arms so quickly to rest against his chest that the jacket slipped from your shoulders to join the rest of the belongings on the floor. Your lips moved slowly, smacking against his own once, twice, three times before he dipped his tongue past your lips - and you were losing it. If he said so, you would have dropped your panties then and there. When you pulled away for a breath, you both grinned sheepishly.

That low chuckle, that smirk upon his face when he brushed his thumbs over your cheeks. If only your mouth could make words, but he took your breath away.

"Took you long enough."

There it was. The comment you were bracing yourself for. When your throat tightened and you gripped at his shirt sleeves as he was about to turn away, Gojo stopped. He blinked in perplexion, about to ask why you clung to him, when his heart dropped. Your eyes watered and eyebrows furrowed.

"Oh my god… you're - you're crying. You're actually crying!" and Gojo settled his hands at your waist with the softest of touches.

Confusion was apparent in his blue eyes - you two had just shared a passionate kiss, and all of a sudden you were crying? Gojo was not one to panic, however, he really hoped this was not a terrible mistake and he had not hurt you in any way. When he led you to sit next to him on the couch, he did not ask any questions. He just waited. Waited until you were ready. There was a brief moment where Gojo had gracefully waltzed over to the bathroom, grabbed a tissue and handed it to you when he sat back down. Again, Satoru Gojo really was so sweet to you, and he placed a hand on your thigh.

"I'm just… so stupid!"

Oh.

He instantly knew what that was in reference to. Truth be told, he always knew how you felt about him, and you did too. He also knew you must have felt like an idiot for wasting all this time, for not just going after him earlier in life. To hell with all that. He couldn't care less.

"You're not stupid, babe."

"But I -"

A finger was pressed to your lips.

"Just shut up."

With a smile, he drew back his finger.

"Everything couldn't be more perfect."

With a hum, you tucked your chin down to stare at your hands folded in your lap. A tiny, gingerly smile graced your lips.

"Okay."

There was another pause as Gojo shuffled in his seat, bending downward to pick up all the dropped items on the floor. He placed them onto the coffee table with ease, then picked up his coat.

"I should go."

He firmly stood up and threw the coat over his shoulder. He pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead. With that loving gaze you always gave, the one he was such a fan of, you watched as he proudly strode over to the door. He wanted to give you some more time - was not about to start putting on the moves when you seemed a little upset. Especially on a work night, no less. When his hand settled on the doorknob, he whipped his head to you and smiled so widely that his eyes clamped shut.

"I'll call you tomorrow?"

Oh, too cute. The way he said that implied he was going to anyway but wanted to check first. You let out a small laugh. Surely, he did not forget you would see each other first thing in the morning at work, right? Tomorrow was the last day before summer break, after all.

"Satoru, we're going to -"

"Don't ruin it, babe!"

Another confident grin from him caused you to giggle. With a roll of your eyes, you grinned back.

"Yes! You can call me!"

"Great. Today was wonderful, by the way. Good night then."

"Good night."

There was another pause. No way you could just let him leave after all that.

"Satoru?"

Gojo's ears pricked at your tone. He turned to you. You jumped up from your seat and twiddled your fingers, hoping it would distract you from them trembling.

"I - I… will you stay over for the night?"

A red hue dusted over Gojo's cheeks as he blinked in amazement. A second to register what had been asked as your eyes away from his. For the umpteenth time that evening, that delectable smirk graced Gojo's plump lips.

"What kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you down?"

It started innocently enough.

Gojo was used to this. He asked you to grab extra blankets and pillows as you usually did when he stayed over. He was prepared to sleep on the couch, but something was a little different in the way you stared at him then. You tucked your chin downward.

"No, no…"

And he paused.

"You… you can sleep in my room with me."

He froze again with a red hue so gorgeously plastered across his cheeks. There was a silence for some time, but another smirk from Gojo and he moved.

Gojo kicked his shoes off and leap-frogged over the couch to land next to you, grin and all. The impact caused you to bounce on the cushion, and in bashful fashion, you brought your hand to your mouth to stifle any giggles. When Gojo grabbed your thighs to pull your body closer, the giggles only increased as he peppered your face with kisses. Oh, it was supposed to be innocent. This relationship was still fresh. No need to rush, after all. Just throw on a movie and cuddle on the couch like you've done so much before. But then -

Gojo kissed your mouth.

So softly. So sweetly. So tenderly.

Then you kissed his.

With such ease, the white-haired man pulled you into his lap. His hands at your hips, thumbs rubbing gentle little circles. Your hands, holding his face as your lips pressed in perfect synch to each other. Those sweet, little kisses transformed into tonguing, and then that led to biting. Then it only became hotter when those kisses turned into sloppy, open-mouthed kisses and grunts and groans.

It didn't matter that a movie was never decided upon. In fact, why would you want to watch a movie when this was so much more fun? Hot and slow touches began to sneak under clothes, on areas of skin you didn't even know needed touches, areas that you could never fathom feeling so electric underneath his fingers.

"Oh my god… angel," Gojo breathed, "you keep up those pretty little noises, and I won't be able to control myself anymore."

"Then don't."

He pulled back for a second. Gently, you held his face in your hands while running your thumbs over his cheeks. He gave a cheesy smile.

"Ugh, will you marry me?"

A heat returned to your cheeks as you rolled your eyes at his teasing. A second more, and he pulled you back to him - clutching his arms around your form, nearly knocking you on your back as his mouth immediately went to your neck for little nips and kisses to it. He was so strong, and he was just tickling you endlessly as you laughed uncontrollably.

"Ah! Sa… Satoru!" you laughed wildly, trying to push him away, "Satoru, please!"

"Satoru, please."

Body thrown against the mattress, lips feverishly mashing and molding against each other's, so many delicious moans and groans and hums inbetween them all, and what sweet music to your ears. A growl, one that sent shivers down your spine, and Gojo pulled away for a split second to snatch your collared shirt from your shoulder before firmly planting his lips to your skin, giving a quick bite. Oh, it would definitely leave a bruise as you clenched at the sheets below you in desperation for support, or some form of relief. But how cute because that bruise would only match the other marks adorning your chest.

Gojo's lips moved expertly along your collar bone and settled on your neck, leaving hot and wet kisses against your skin. A tingly yet ignited feeling that left you yearning for more as you whined, being pushed into the bed further. The sensation of his warm saliva on your neck, leaving wet stamps of his lips and soft traces of his tongue, reduced you to a mewling mess. One of your hands clutched against Gojo's chest to ball the fabric of his shirt, and with the other free hand, running it along the satisfying undercut of his hair before gripping his white locks.

"You're mine." he breathed against your skin, "Mine, mine, mine."

"Yes… ah - all yours!" you panted as you ran a hand through his hair again. A whimper escaped your lips when his tongue slid up your neck, "Always have been, always will."

Yes. It was always this way. Your feelings were limitless.

There was no doubt in your mind. Should not have ever tried to ignore your heart especially when it raced upon seeing him every single day. Why in the world did you date such losers when you could have had…

Satoru.

Satoru, Satoru, Satoru.

"Yeah, that's right, sweetheart."

Breath caught in your chest at his angelic beauty. And before you could gasp, his lips were back to your neck. They left such needy kisses, such sloppy, yummy kisses. His touch was leaving you drunk as your eyelids drooped heavily. Your will was breaking, practically bursting at the seams. Just thinking how badly you needed his mouth everywhere else. But you didn't have time to tell him when you turned your head further and released a moan that had the man chuckling lowly in your ear. The smirk on his face only grew when his hips bucked into yours, and you gasped while drawing your trembling arms around him in attempts to steady yourself.

"Goj - oh!"

"Ah, ah, ah - Satoru." he corrected, and your legs could have turned to jelly right there at his seductive tone. Your entire body could have melted into a puddle. He could have said the least sexiest thing in the world like that, and you could still fall for him.

"How long have you known me? You gettin' shy on me?"

A whine left your lips when you realized you said his last name. You just couldn't think straight. One thing was obvious though. It was obvious from the start that Satoru Gojo was in charge especially with how sugary he spoke. Such a sweet tone. Such honey-kissed, nectar-like, addicting words that dripped from his lips just like you were dripping wet with arousal. Heart pounding, core throbbing.

"It's cute."

Gojo was here and all yours. You couldn't believe it. Especially when you opened your eyes to take in this irresistible scene. Gojo, sunglasses thrown off somewhere to reveal those sapphire eyes, with his white shirt unbuttoned to show off his toned chest heaving to catch his breath. His pants looked a little too tight, hardly hiding his hard-on beneath them. He hovered over you, hands on either side of your poor, dizzy, flushed head. Those sky blue eyes roamed over your nearly naked form - which was barely covered by undergarments, with one bra strap already straying from a shoulder.

"N-no, I'm not being shy."

"Look at you. You're just a mess right now, sweetheart." he grinned, lowering his mouth to breathe against your ear, "Haven't even done anything yet."

A brush of his fingers against the wet, clothed spot between your thighs made your hands clutch his chest on command. They glided up to rest on his shoulders, effortlessly slipping beneath the fabric to slide the shirt from his beautiful, marble-like form. For a second, he stood on his knees to finish slipping the shirt off before undoing his belt, letting the small clink ring in the air. Pants were unzipped, leaving them to hang precariously from his hips, and Gojo returned back to his beloved spot, pink lips hovering over your own. You pressed a finger to his mouth and he paused.

"Please, Satoru…" you whispered, "don't tease me. You always do."

Gojo planted a quick kiss to your fingertip before his tongue poked out to run along it, causing you to freeze in surprise. He opened his mouth to gently suck your finger in, massaging his tongue against it before releasing you with a pop of his mouth.

"Oh, but it's sooo fun. I live for it."

That was always obvious since forever ago. Ugh, that sexy drawl and that smirk to match it. He was amazing in every way. So, running your fingers against the undercut at his neck, you whispered.

"Need you bad, Satoru."

You grabbed a fistful of his white locks, leading his mouth to your own to repeat that hot make-out session from earlier on the couch. Lips completely locked, not even stopping at getting in the way of clothes flying off, not even in the way of bodies swiftly moving and hands grasping at skin. His hands roamed over your breasts, squeezing them - biting with his teeth, pinching nipples and leaving you a moaning mess. His hands roamed over your thighs, over your ass - no part left untouched, but always savored. Nothing stopped this limitless love, even when Gojo hooked an arm under your legs and tossed you effortlessly into position on the bed - your head landing perfectly on its pillow while Gojo bounced on the mattress above you, mouth against mouth again in a heated kiss, slipping out a groan between parted lips.

A raspy whisper, "You ready for me?"

And you bashfully nodded yes, smiles and all as your sweet Gojo - the strongest, the most insufferable, but the most loving - positioned himself so that his pretty cock slid between your slick folds. A gasp escaped your lips when he groaned from how deep it went. Another gasp, followed by your soft moans when he started thrusting, giving that good friction and allowing your walls to tighten and suck him in further.

"Oh, fuck, sweetheart - fuck! So perfect."

"Sa… Satoru, fu - oh!"

A sharp intake of air once Gojo used a hand to greedily slide over the plushness of your thigh. He moved it ever so slightly, pulling it up a bit higher around his waist so that you both froze in place immediately, before letting out a pleasured groan in synch. The new angle which allowed him to go somehow deeper made your head spin.

Oh my gooood.

Your eyes clamped shut at the sensation, drool pooling at your mouth from how delicious Gojo's body was and when his lips drunkenly met yours, matching in swolleness. A little more speed, and you wrapped an arm around his neck as you just whined into his shoulder, clawing the skin at his back.

Oh my god oh my god oh my god more.

"Toru, fuck!"

Babbling his name over and over like a prayer. Curse words and moans spilling from both your mouths. Begging for Gojo to be faster, to be harder because god dammit you had waited too many years for this and he did too. Skin slapping on skin, sweat making your bodies stick together, and you could only grip onto him tighter as you were nearly screaming from the pleasure warming up your body.

"I love you, I love you, I fucking love you! Please, please, please, please, please!"

"Fuck, y-yeah… Love - love you too!"

And that tight coil in your lower half only got tighter and tighter, until - It snapped. The pleasure igniting your body as you were filled with his seed. You thought you saw stars? Forget that. Gojo could have put you in his domain, and you would have thanked him. A quick kiss to your mouth, raking your fingers through his damp locks before he released you to finally breathe, to ride out this high with a few slow and lazy thrusts of his hips. Lazily, you blinked the tears from your eyes. How sexy Gojo looked in this moment - if that even meant anything because he always looked good. His pure white hair stuck to his forehead in cute, wavy tufts. The way his pale face was red and flushed at the cheeks, lips so swollen to complement this as he panted, sweat shining on his skin in the dull light of the bedroom. Eyes clamped shut to recover from his high, but feeling your gaze on him, he blinked once. Your heart thumped in your chest at the sight of his illuminated blue eyes looking at you with hunger, glowing if just for a split second before he blinked again and the glow was gone. Your face heated up again - no, you must have imagined it.

"So you love me?"

He purred, eyes drooping at your flushed out face. Seemed he caught you staring off into space again. He panted against your skin, bringing you back from the endless blue maze that were his eyes.

"I do." you purred back with a smirk.

Between all the pants, Gojo cupped a hand to your face. He leaned to give you a quick peck on the forehead, then grunted when he laid next to you. When he got comfortable, you shuffled over to lay your head on his chest and firmly grab his jaw - giving a small kiss as he groaned into it. You pulled back to stroke a white lock from his forehead as he watched you with those blue eyes of his.

He smirked - one that meant he was up to no good again.

"So glad to be here with my pretty wife."

A pause.

You gawked at him. Literally, your jaw dropped open. Naturally, Gojo adorned a very wide grin and he swiftly crossed his arms behind his head.

"Oho… wife now?"

"I know, I know!" he winked, "Can't help it."

"You're kidding."

"Come oooon, let's just get married."

"Satoru!"

"Oh, yeah, baby. Say my name again."

"SATORU."

If only.

If only you weren't further embarrassed when Gojo pressed his lips to yours in a kiss again. And if only you two hadn't kept going all night, you would have never accidentally overslept into the next day. You both fumbled to school to be late to a faculty meeting. Of course, all eyes were on you. Because the staff sure as hell knew what happened judging by the shaken appearances (and bites to your neck that you forgot to hide).

And, if only Gojo didn't make things worse.

"Sorry, all! Guess my wife and I got a little carried away last night! But what are you going to do when two young adults are in love, am I right?"

You had never seen everyone's eyes widen in synch before.

[thehollowwriter]

*ahem* anyways after a some time under a video critical of the Murder Drones finale, I've got some fandom reminders for, well, anyone ig.

Being critical of something does not equal hating it

Being critical of something does not make you "ungrateful" for it

Constructive criticism helps creators improve and trying to stifle that and allow only blind praise simply does them a disservcie

Just because the company is indie doesn't mean we should just praise whatever they put out

People have the full right to be disappointed when they waited for 3 years for a 20 minute finale that left several things unanswered and defeated the cosmic level threat that was the villain in a few minutes

Not liking something or critiquing the pacing or writing doesn't mean someone has "No media literacy" my god, people, thinking critically about what you're consuming is PART OF MEDIA LITERACY

This is a problem that's become increasingly prevalent in fandoms (or maybe it's always been there?). If you like something it MUST be a flawless masterpiece. If you feel any negative feelings towards it you're not a "real" fan and you "can't enjoy things." If something is disliked it MUST be the gum on the bottom of your shoe, and if you like it you have "no taste" or in some cases "you're a bad person". Shows can't be "okay" or "good, but flawed", it has to either be groundbreaking or utter trash.

In my opinion, it also kinda ties into the idea that the characters need to be morally perfect for you to like them, and if you critique their actions you're also "attacking" the people who like them. Idk, there's just this idea that everything must be perfect all the time to be enjoyed, so if you dislike this "perfect" thing then you just "Don't understand it" or are just a "hater."

It also ties into this site's obsession with curating your experience. Yes, I do agree that just blocking people rather than fighting and arguing and getting angry with them is better. Yes, it is good to filter out content that triggers you.

But making people post criticism or even expressing their dsilike of a character in separate tags so you don't have to see it? (E.g: Helluva Boss critical) trying to treat it like it's something that doesn't belong in the "main" tag?

I personally dislike this idea of blocking out any other opinions or anything that casts anything you like in a negative light or anything you dislike in a positive light. You're just locking yourself in an echo chambers that convinces you that other opinions are just blind hate and that you are always right.

I used to think this too. I would get really angry when I saw people critiquing Twisted Wonderland (the way Book 2 was handled, the questionable parts of Fairy Gala, etc) or criticising people for hating certain characters. I used to really dislike Vil, for example, and I thought with confidence the people defending him didn't know what they were talking about.

However, actually reading and thinking about what people had to say made me stop. They are not blindly hating or trying to attack "me". Often people who critique media are fans who want to see it improve.

It's important to understand that constructive criticism is not some malicious outside force trying to tear down something you love. Sure, there are haters who don't even watch or like the show or movie, but that's not constrictive criticism.

Do I make sense or am I just yapping

[inchidentally]

Ngl little bit sad that you're becoming kinda negative on here. I miss when you used to post those super cool thoughtful discussions and analyses, without the need to trash talk or bash on other ships.

(just to say, I'd normally post something like this behind a cut and I promise I always will in future. it just feels like today in particular is a good moment to state a few of these points. I'm not normally this serious lol I just want to kind of mitigate any more drama.)

I've always posted about wanting rpf to be kept out of the drivers' and teams' public spaces and I've always said it's stupid/unnecessary drama when fans of certain fictional ships get genuinely loudly "competitive" over other fictional ships and I've really always been against people hating on the girlfriends who get caught in the crossfire of the fans who truly believe their two drivers are in a secret gay relationship. it's how I've always personally felt and apart from it being my opinion (which is fair for my blog) I also feel like having even a smidgen of traction on my posts means I can potentially prevent landoscar going down the road of certain ships that have fans who've fully crossed over into aggressive/publicly disturbing territory. and who've been doing so for years and only gotten worse.

hell, I've even always openly hated when Lando's individual content gets taken over by people bringing up Carlos or Daniel or even sometimes Oscar or Max F. the man has a life beyond all of those friendships and he very much deserves for his content to sometimes stay just about him. only people like his family or Jon/Lando's team of 10+ years deserve any significant share of credit for Lando's successes but no one's bothering to bring them up in the comments etc.

also, it's still very early days for landoscar as a ship and we have at least two more years of Lando and Oscar as teammates (fairly likely more) so if we can keep out the element of fans who take rpf into widely public spaces/directly to the people involved, then I'm going to continue to occasionally post about it. those types of fans absolutely hate reality intruding and they hate real life partners even more so I'm absolutely going to post about reality and girlfriends regularly. even apart from the fact that I'd feel weird excluding girlfriends, there's a solid reason to do so.

especially when even apart from rpf, the girlfriends always get shit from people who want the guy for themselves or who have decided they get a say in who he dates. I'm not going to pretend like all of that doesn't happen just to avoid all negativity.

as far as the tricky/controversial asks I get, I always put them fully under a cut and tag appropriately so they're incredibly easy to skip. I also batch them up so one of those posts happens maybe once every couple weeks - if that. my content has always been massively on the side of fun content vs anything drama/wank related.

the one thing I will say is that I'm getting a lot of repeat anons about ship drama that I would otherwise not hear about (I rarely look at twitter and my tumblr dash is lovely and tidy with just a few things blacklisted) so I'm going to write one sort of roundup post to cover any more of those and not answer any more. I'm just repeating myself atp.

I also went on my first ever blocking spree in this fandom today when a post I'd rb had a bunch of ragey hardcore rpf people jump onto it and I also blacklisted a few more things. so that's the last I'm personally ever going to see of that drama myself. I still casually ship carland0 and dand0 as well and a whole lot of us are nothing to do with the people publicly pushing shippy shit or doing the whole - god I cannot believe this still happens - 'my rpf ship is real and yours isn't'. they're also the people who call all girlfriends "escorts" and "beards" so they're easy to identify.

one last thing anon is that I hear you but I've got to mention I delete a LOT of borderline hate asks and I leave a fair amount of trolls frothing by refusing to respond to their asks. so I'm very much always trying to keep the content on my blog free of useless drama or negativity.

[olderthannetfic]

Okay so, I think something is really really weird, I can't help but twitch my eye whenever I see discourse around certain ships in the in-progress Across the Spider-verse fandom. Usually I don't send anon asks but RN I don't want people harassing me or something.

My eye twitch because... Is really weird how so many people is like, throwing fists at ships that are exclusive between characters of color???? And M/M too???? It feels like people are just... looking into a trash can to find whatever excuse applicable to M/M ships so they can apply it ONLY to these COCs (loving you anon that suggested Character of Color = COC) and the ships between them. No drama with Gwen/Miles. Almost not drama with Peter B./Miguel. Fucking hell, the damned (and good) crackship between LEGO Spiderman/Miguel is receiving LESS HATE than the non-white ships. And I find it weird and sus. Why all the hate is targeted at ships between black charac/black charac or black charac/hindu charac.

For the love of god, stop and get a life. So much crying for the lack of ships that include non-white characters and when you all see a fandom that REVOLVES around SO MANY non-white characters, you try to take that down with the most dumb stupid ass arguments that have been equally dumb stupid ass arguments for the past decade in fandom.

--

Ah, I see the pattern is repeating, as usual.

[bright-and-burning]

Commiseration anon again - I have. A lot of people blocked from both Austria and Hungary and then I ALSO like. See people interacting with older drivers that I don't like and just "that's my blorbo!!!" and I'm like. Now HOW do we like the same driver now. What happened to consistent taste.

My fic that I was looking for was a landoscar fic but I guess this was. A different area that it happened in??? Idk, if those fics that I was looking for were plagiarized I don't really wanna read them anymore. but I also don't know the whole drama bc it really was like. Smelling a war from down breeze and being like. Mm someone's having an issue. And not knowing anything else

akdhskhdkshd you don’t even wanna know that whole stretch was a living nightmare for me 😭 blocking mfs left and right… spa was on my birthday and i spent the whole weekend in FEAR like please god… do not fuck this one up for me…

“what happened to consistent taste” i laughed… as someone who’s drawn to the same blorbo vibes across basically every fandom i’ve ever been in, i am extremely prone to consistent taste . tho i do love variety in my like. secondary tier of blorbo… i’m sure my taste in drivers is beyond baffling to some people, the early days on this blog (before i had to reaaaally slim down my following list to avoid hâterism) were full of a whole lot of variety. (on a semi related note tho i will fully admit that sometimes i get petulantly like tiny toddler foot stomp annoyed w certain ships i see. bc of blorboism. but the mini toddler in my brain needs some warm milk and a nap. and to be ignored. but believe me it is there and it is frequently unhappy abt silly shit.)

fascinating… i actually um. went thru the entire landoscar tag last month (there’s a couple long fics by friends i haven’t gotten to still despite that but i looked at at least the summary of . every single fic in the tag. like a nut job.). so huh! idk then. i thought the plagiarism was something lestappen but possible ive been misled!! smelling a war from down wind is SOOO real lmfaoooo it really is like i heard cartoonish cat screech metal trash can slam noises and peaked out between my curtains in the aftermath

[frenchgremlim1808]

Hello. In the Homestuck YTTD art collection you have posted you added "(EW)" after Gashu's name. Could you please explain why you dislike him? I like Gashu a lot, and I genuinely don't get why people dislike him, as I find him really cool and a very interesting character.

Hello !

Thanks for the ask. I will try to explain why I put EW after gashu name and also the gashu hate in a few point. First off, I think you are completely right gashu is a very interesting character that deserve more analysis made of him. I think he's oddly realistic and very well written for a character that we do not see that much of. So yeah I like gashu character..... And that's the problem, I like the character but hate the person. But I think the fandom misterpret the character a lot so I will go on a gashu analysis on why first he's great character but an imunforgivable man.

Also for any gashu liker who wants to understand the perspective of the fandom her it is.

FIRST READONS FOR THE GASHU HATE:

His actions are unforgivable and caused major trauma and pain to multiple people

Gashu is a terrible dad, no need to fight over this. But even before milfdori went to tell him to sacrifice his son he still sucked ass. He created to both Kai and sei major inferiority complex and fear of being forgetten. Kai was always fearful that his dad would be disappointed of him and Sei oh god sei suffered my guy, after his dad died he was brought into a family just to be a rival to Kai , to make Kai better and then disposed like trash . He acted big and wanted to win so that he be loved but in the end he knew that he was just a pawn to asunaro. Even though gashu took a liking to Sei and strated being "nicer" to Kai that does not escuse the rest. I mean Kai was raised as a weapon his entire life, he never got to have a normal life. Also like the fact that he was so happy for cake means clearly that he doesn't get any compassion or love from his dad. Gashu is emotionally distant to Kai from his very young childhood. That put irreparable damage on Kai Psyche. Someone might have the argument that he tried to do "the best" for his children, but no, he tried to do "the best" for him. If he truly loved Kai and Sei more than asunaro he would have tried anything to save his son's, but he didn't, he accepted it and continued on. Even if it failed a true loving father would've done anything to save his kids, even if it mean fighting against asunaro his whole life. Also that's not talking about the death game like what he did to ranger is even more cruel because of Sei and also he fucking caused nao death so like I'm pretty sure that's the reason the fandom hate his guts hard ☠️But I have a theory that I'm almost certain of, on why gashu is hated too

SECOND REASON FOR THE GASHU HATE

he's realistic which hits closer to home.

Gashu is realistic and that's the thing, forgetting about the dolls and asunaro, who hasn't met a emotionally negligent father who puts immense pressure on his children which cause extreme difficulty for the child to create fulfilling relationship with anyone in the future. Like if you twist it around this story works for alot of us. A emotionally closed off dad who prefer to be cold and not show his emotions, who focus more on work than you, who work seems to prioritise you. And that's the point that's why I think gashu gets such hate, the relatability !Because let's compare him to like sue and Midori. They have way more fans why, because first sue Miley is hot af and Midori is..... I don't know how people find him attractive but people do. But also because sue and Midori are over the top, especially sue Miley. She's just an evil crazy lady who mean, and Midori is literal incarnation of the devil so like what do you want. But even a character like Midori is like in way relatable sadly to lot of people experience with narcissist like him, one day if I have the time i'll go over Midori and shin relationship metaphor in real life. But back to gashu, sue and Midori have less chance to be relatable to the general audience than gashu, in the world their must be like 10 Midori ( yeah I'm sure people like him exist) but a million gashu . The point of the mini episode for me was to nuance gashu character, because even with all the bad action he did we see that he's destroyed after Sei death. It... Feal real. He an horrible man but still a man after all. While Midori is Satan you know. Also there is a also a clear difference. Gashu does the things he does due to his loyalty to asunaro, and by the way it's presented it's very much some kind of cult enterprise. The only time he betrayed the rules was for sending the sacrifice to nao to make sure she doesn't survive, which in his head he did for the organisation. He killed himself for the organisation. He sacrificed his son for the organisation. Everything he did because of his immense loyalty to the organisation even when he didn't want to do it. His loyalty came first and his feelings second. While let's say Midori really isn't that loyal and just wishes to have what he wants whatever the cost. So gashu feels more Real more human for his actions. He really seems like a man who could die at any point in time and was truly trapped. But after all it's his fault right? He was the one that became apart of the organisation after all. His suffering was in the end caused by his loyalty.But like why did he join the organisation, or better why did any of them join I have so many questions about asunaro it's insane.

THIRD REASON FOR THE GASHU HATE

It also became kinda of a meme in-between me and my friend

"Like oh it's GASHU fuck that guy" you know. I should have maybe started with that.

Anyway closing point fuck milfdori she's such a dick.

[loving-n0t-heyting]

I find your take really interesting because it's actually compelling and nuanced but I do still think I have a somewhat rosier view of Skyler as a person than you do (though still largely negative); in particular, I find it much easier to side with her early in the show, where, while what you say about her is true in a clear way, she still tends to have some decent argument for her position. The show is having some fun at her expense, but it's still putting her in situations where we can readily understand why she's doing what she's doing and she might even broadly be right. Of course Walt's medical decisions are his own (oh God I typed "her own" here originally and only caught it much later in editing; was this a terribly revealing Freudian slip? yikes), but at that point with what she knows Skyler would have to be a terrible spouse to not try to argue him into placing a higher value on his life. And while Skyler does have a comically naive bourgeoisie worldview on law and order, and willful naivete is not morally neutral, it's Marie who's stonewalling in the shoplifting conflict, not Skyler. I'd consider Skyler at the start of the show to be roughly on moral par with Jesse at worst (and even that feels like it's going awfully far), and that Jesse ultimately finds his way out of Walt's psychological web before she does feels more like happenstance than some deep indictment of her relative to him.

I do think it’s hard comparing Skyler to Jesse early on bc they are clearly at that point being treated by the show with different levels of seriousness. Jesse was slated for an early demise, remember, and was intended more as a stepping stone for Walt’s personal journey, whereas they would have had to be insane to do the same after one season with Skyler. (Well, frankly, they would have to have been insane to go through with it for Jesse too. But not as insane.)

And it shows! The early depth and nuance you see in Jesse is pretty much pure Aaron paul; he’s written fairly one-dimensionally as white trash sidekick comic relief, whereas Skyler is already being deliberately built up for big things. So it’s weird to compare the two imo, the way it would be weird to compare her and walt Jr. There’s just more to her early on

And idk, maybe some of the animosity i have for her (which i was exaggerating somewhat, for the sake of the take/bit, though not in essentials) is personal. Family technically-not-coercing you into medical treatment (that could Save Your Life!!) hits a little too close to home, and I uhhhh. Idk if you’ve been reading my blog long enough to hear about my mommy/ex-gf issues lol. (Ofc, plausibly deniable therapeutic venting is most of what most ppl have to say about brba at any length, so i don’t think this is a specially egregious interpretive failing on my part.) But I do think, simply on the merits, the “poor battered housewife” reaction to the misogynistic frenzy she initially provoked among certain segments of the fandom is overgenerous. It’s at least better than the negative reaction against that same crowd regarding walt, though, which consistently drives ppl to commit obvious and basically indefensible errors about central plot points, at which point I think you can barely be described as engaging with the show itself at all

[curiouschaosstarlight]

yessss do all of them. For gensh <3

(I had to take this off of the official numbered list because my rambles are just too rambly, and tumblr started yelling at me......) 1.) my beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world fave: Bennett!! Bennett, Bennett, Bennett, I choose Bennett-- Also Chongyun and Freminent. Somft boys. Doing their best. Also could kick your ass. Also I have all of them. :3c (...Very sad that I had to take Chongyun off my main team, because Bennett's about to C6 and render him useless.)

2.) my trash-shit fave: I have no idea what this means, but I'm gonna guess that Dottore and Scaramouche belong here-- Especially Dottore; he's the guy giving me the MOST brainworms right now. (But I can't share most of the brainworms because I'd have to explain all the reasons why my version of him turned out the way he did, then be told I'm wrong anyway, so.) Anyways, I love Scaramouche/Wanderer's entire story, I love that he Has Problems but those problems aren't JUST that he's a little asshole bitch for no reason like fandom keeps trying to claim. Also I want!! Playable Dottore!! I want him so bad. Sure sure, to some people having him redeemed would be soooooo boring, but- Personally, I only have a certain amount of fun with villains that are villains for the evulz, and I LOVE characters with Potential (potential for both better and worse, sometimes even for the same reasons); also a lot of certain little details about Dottore gives me the vibes that he isn't the one-note crazy man basically everyone writes him as, which is apparently, supposedly backed up by the actual og Chinese writing of a few things. And I genuinely think that ANY way they go about redeeming him/making him playable -- be it revealing Tragic Backstory reasons, or a begrudging process, or "well I've decided I like and respect you, so sure, I'll behave, for now >:)" -- would be interesting no matter what they go for!! ...I'm genuinely gonna cry a bit if they do opt to just kill him off ;v; but if Gensh goes that route, I do hope it's at least to an epic boss fight or something. Full monster transformation, if possible.

3.) my I love to hate them fave: God, I have no idea, I'm not usually the type outside of very specific characters. I guess Signora might qualify? ...I'm not gonna earn much love with that one-- She's just, like...tragic backstory? Check. Pretty lady with beautiful theming and massive tits? Check. Front-story bitch? Yeah that's pretty fun! ...Why is it so hard to force her character to shift in writeys. Like, even thinking about alternate ways events could go on my own, it's like...she owns her own girlboss so hard, it borders on Ungrateful behavior (which tends to be one of the few kinds of behaviors characters can have that grind on my nerves). Apparently there's a chance she might get revived in Natlan, and honestly I'm hoping. I don't think it'll be the worst thing in the world if it doesn't happen, but I sure would like the excuse to put her back in the oven to bake some more, without having to wait for my brain to become actually hooked on her to do it.

4.) my I hate to love them fave: This one's gonna sound weird; Faruzan. ...Okay, okay, let me explain- So, y'all know how Faruzan had a boosted drop rate when Wanderer was first released? (...And I think it happened again when his banner came back around, but that's not important--) I was. SO. DAMN. DESPERATE. to get Wanderer. I had picked out a name for him months in advance (well, tentatively; some leaks a friend was looking at said you could name him, and I wasn't 100% convinced but I wanted to be PREPARED in case it really was true, and then it was!), both of my friends (including Devoid here <3) were pulling for him as well, and both got him before I did, which intensified my desire to get him. I had been saving up. I was doing SO MANY TEN PULLS. And I got. SO. MANY. FARUZANS. I think I had one ten pull that was, like, four Faruzans in a row. I had her C6'd extremely early on into my pulls, and then she just kept showing up. It was driving me mad. I don't really get too bothered by a character's in-game actions unless they're a specific kind of irksome, but messing with my pulls? That bothers me a lot-- Eventually I did get Wanderer, but I'd also gotten like...twenty or forty Faruzans in the process or something like that. It was ridiculous. And I was all set to just hate her forever. ...But then, like...her hangout comes out and that was really good. And then the event with Wanderer, Kaveh, Tighnari, and everyone happened, and THAT was also really good, and she's so affectionate towards Collei and hnnnnnn...Why's she have to be such a good character with such great taste in other characters?? Save me--

5.) my I wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire non-fave: So, you know how I said that character actions don't tend to bother me outside of certain traits? Fucking. Royce. I hate Royce. I mean- I view Benny's entire ex-team rather unfavorably, but Royce's "almost-has-a-realization-just-to-backtrack-and-yell-at-Benny-again" behavior drives me up the goddamn wall. I'm sure there's other NPCs that piss me off but no one else I can remember by actual actions or name. I do have some playable characters I don't really like at all, but this category is very strongly worded for those feelings. (No hate to any Royce fans out there >////////< And also apologies, but this is probably the only time I'm gonna talk about him anyway, at least by name)

6.) my I didn’t care about them either way at first but the fandom makes such a big deal about them now I can’t stand them non-fave: I've been avoiding most fandom content precisely for this reason!! (...Unfortunately I've still gotten exposed to a bunch of shitty fan takes, but it for the most part hasn't shaken my character opinions much. My ship opinions however...) ...The most popular takes of Scaramouche and Dottore (by fans and non-fans alike) have only further solidified my personal vibes of wanting them more sympathetic and avoiding one-note portrayals like the plague. Signora has been on thin ice for a while because so many people are really fucking aggravating in regards to her, but she's yet to budge because I do feel mildly compelled about her. So hopefully that sticks. But I WILL absolutely despise Capitano out of sheer fan spite if he's revealed to be the 1st Harbinger, and there's a ~secret 10th Harbinger~, that is just, like...It's almost kinda neat, but so many people are being so bullheaded and shitty about it (mostly on reddit, I think), to the point it's invaded the wiki that I otherwise really respect for all the work that goes into it, that he just better fucking be the 10th or I will be UPSET.

7.) my I could take them or leave them kinda non-fave: Honestly, most of the cast. Up until about Sumeru, I really only cared about 2-5 characters per nation. Then with Sumeru and Fontaine, they've really knocked it out of the park with characters I absolutely adore and only one or two that kinda just fade out of my memory. I won't say which ones. !!!!!! IMPORTANT NOTE!! This has nothing to do with writing quality or design quality or "oh my subjective opinion is absolute fact and anyone who disagrees with me is a dumb stupid idiot with no taste" or anything like that- It's just that I wasn't vibing too strongly with most characters; not for any necessary particular reason or failure on Mihoyo's part or anything like that. Just how it turned out.

8.) my I will go down with this ship and I won’t put my hands up and surrender, there will be no white flag above my door. I’m in love and always will be fave ship: Dottore x Scaramouche is my BIGGEST ship right now, especially onesided. Especially reluctantly reciprocated. Primarily on Dottore's side. Also Fem Traveler/Lumine/Lillian x Everyone. Also Enjou x his weird "go ahead and beat me up" fetish-- Keep being funky you strange, fiery demon man. Love him. (Also Alhaitham x Kaveh, though I generally don't like looking at the fandom art for it unless my friend handpicks out the art for me, because their ver of Kaveh did irreversible damage to my brain and now when I see trans!Alhaitham and cis!Kaveh, my brain gets SO CONFUSED. It's just like "????? But that should be reversed, tho, obviously???" Like...no brain...it's not obvious. It's fine. You're just Attached.)

9.) my dirtybadwrong fave ship: Apparently Scaramouche/Kabukimono x Niwa is real controversial, which is very sad because I fucking love it, and also it seems like such an obvious and easy-to-like pick to me :P Also Kaeya x Diluc, which I know would/will? get me headhunted if this post shows up for the majority of the fandom. I'm probably forgetting a good amount of ships at the moment, but... (+ Bonus for both 8 and 9, but my extra myriad of Dottore ships where I'd probably have to explain how I ended up where I ended up, which means I'd have to explain the way I write Dottore, which means I'd have to explain-) ...Also Neuvillette x Furina APPARENTLY fucking qualifies, because as we all know, if the girl is short and cute and femme, she's automatically a child!! :) Don't y'all totes know she's Neuvillette's little baby girl daughter and not an adult and totally wasn't RUNNING AN ENTIRE NATION AS THEIR ARCHON for LITERAL FUCKING CENTURIES? Nope! Neuvillette, the person that totally wasn't working under her that entire time, has all the power in that dynamic, and totes sees her as a daughter, so it's problematic!!

10.) my they’re cute together and I dig them but I’m not all that terribly invested kinda fave ship: Most ships in the fandom, tbh. See- the problem is I don't really like protag Aether takes, and I'm just amicable to about 70% of the cast. And I might be a massive multishipping slut with few standards, but I do need to Feel Something towards characters to then Feel Something towards the ships, and when the general vibes I have with a character is "ah, they're neat" or "I like 'em well enough" or even "I don't really like them", that's just the kind of ~amicable vibes~ that lends to me going "that's cute! ...Anyway"

11.) my I didn’t care about this ship either way at first but the fandom makes such a big deal about it now I can’t stand it non-fave ship: Well, I have two. I won't say one because I think my vaguing gets more obvious if I say it outright, but someone I was following seriously bashed [ship I like a lot] while going "why dont people like THIS ship instead??? It's WAY BETTER!!", and. lemme tell you. If you want me to UTTERLY DESPISE your fave character or ship, the best way to do that is praise your fave while bashing another character or ship!! Fuck me, it doesnt even have to be a character or ship I even like, but for some reason it always fucking is. Like the sheer amount of people that go "Why dont people like [character] more??? They're much better than ITTO!!" like. 1. fuck you. 2. Itto has a MUCH LOUDER presence than whatever character you're trying to praise. 3. why does everyone always try to go after [specific ship I like a lot], or Itto? It's always them. Like they're making some big sweeping statement of "oh THAT dumb thing is getting attention for no reason!!" when like...entertainment factor, you knuckleheads. They're just onscreen and instantly make an impression. I'm really, really sorry your fave doesn't get as much attention, I get it, I really do, I've had barely popular/outright bashed faves before, but y'all actively hurt your case rather than helping it when you try to tear other characters/ships down to build yours up. I get that you're frustrated, but it's not fucking helping. Cut that shit out and then get back to me. Anyways. The other one that bothers the shit out of me for far more petty reasons is Wriothesley x Neuvillette, which. I feel bad about, to be fair. I feel sorta guilty for not liking it, because it definitely has potential. There's just one problem-- one of my biggest fucking pet peeves is ship bashing/attempted ship sinking (-gestures at my sarcasm a bit earlier-, which also sums up half of why I despise "child-coding" and "oh!! this small girl character is TOTES the daughter to these two gay men and definitely not responsible or mature in her own right uwu totally needs to be babysat by her two gay dads!!") in conjunction with people obsessing over other ships, and with Wriotheo and Nuevy, it started BEFORE the update happened and we actually saw any interactions. Like. I get it. They're two hot men and gay ships are hella popular. But with it occurring way before the update, thus way before any canonical interactions, it just felt like people were fucking desperate to make sure neither character could be straight-shipped with the two "children" they were actually working with (two full-ass adults, Furina and Sigewinne), which just drives me up the fucking wall. (And I can understand being uncomfortable with shipping characters that kinda resemble children, but I've seen way too many people go above and beyond any reasonable reaction to that sorta thing.) I want to like this ship. I really do. It could definitely be really good. But it's gonna take, like, a year or two, when we're in Snezhnaya and my frustration becomes a petty dumb memory instead of something I want to rant over. (...I'm sure this is gonna come back to bite me pretty hard, 'cause if this post makes the rounds people are gonna rush to be like "oh you're not OPPRESSED by gay ships!!" -> No one ever says they are unless they're a real smooth-brained fuckhead, "Oh, so we can't just have fun anymore??" -> I'm apparently not allowed to have fun, so neither are y'all. :\ If I can take fifty-million fans constantly trying to call me a terrible person for liking any of the ships and characters and takes I like, y'all can take one "this got on my nerves and I'm still mad even though I know it's dumb and petty")

12.) my MAKE IT STOP non-fave ship: Ready for me to burn another bridge? ...Can't stand Yae Miko x Raiden Shogun. Like- I see it, I absolutely see it, and I think it absolutely works, but. well. guess what? Guess that happened?? Shitty fans. Shitty fans that INSIST Yae Miko is canonically a man-hating lesbian and froth at the mouth if you dare even imply she MIGHT be the tiniest bit interested in a guy. I can't quite articulate how much I HAAAAATE when people try to claim their headcanon as canon and then treat other fans like shit for "violating canon" (that doesn't actually exist -- and god, even if it did, some of the behavior I've seen really goes above and beyond any realm of acceptability), and yeah. This is one of the biggest offenders. In general, I've noticed way more vitriol and toxicity out of f/f fans than any other kind of fan lately, and that is...ugh. again, I get it. Out of the ship combinations, f/f is probably the least popular in general and all that, and when you feel like your favorite stuff is getting passed over again and again for stuff you can't see the appeal in (trust me, I can relate, I've been in a LOT of fandoms), it's really, really frustrating. But also can we stop being shitty to other fans over subjective opinions? Fandom's supposed to be fun. I shouldn't feel like every other fan I follow would hate my guts over the pettiest of preference differences. (Yes this goes for more than just f/f fans, ofc, it's just those are the ones I've noticed the most recently.) !!! -> Please don't feel bad about liking any of the ships I listed ;v; For any reason-- I did Not put them down to shame anyone, and I don't judge anyone for liking ships and characters I don't like. I do judge behavior towards other fans, and if someone's really hostile to "competing" ships/characters, that also bothers me, but that's it. It's not the content itself that has or will ever bother me, so I really do hope no one who's reading this feels bad about their preferences...

->-> Primarily Unrelated but One thing that I lovehate about this, aside from the fact that if a bunch of people see this entire thing I'm DEFINITELY getting hatemail/a callout/something, but it also gives the impression I'm massively into m/m, which is amusing and frustrating at the same time. (Not the first time this sort of thing has happened, and I'm always self-conscious about it, because I hate when people have Incorrect Takes about my feelings/opinions, especially when I've openly described them but the other person's like "lol nope, I associate you with this more, so this is the truth now". Hate that shit.)

I'm actually primarily a m/f shipper (which honestly might be more controversial on tumblr, specifically tumblr, I'm not an ignorant dumbass about other places on the internet), that's just not how it turned out for Gensh, where I wound up mostly into the guy characters. Before I got extremely into Scaramouche (and then Dottore), Lumine/Lillian was my primary favorite character and the one I was focused on shipping with. She was also, like...the female character I liked the most, which I'm given to understand is an odd thing to say, I guess? Because western people don't usually like the protags of games?? Which is so weird to me. (<- Fresh off the Persona fandom where the Persona protags are also in my, like, top 5 characters of their respective games, and that is a hugely unpopular take for some reason.) (Though I guess I'm pretty weird in how I tend to play games and develop the protagonist's personality in my head + I usually prefer to play the fem character -> the fem protag of a game tends to be in my top 10 favorite characters)

For anyone curious, my preferences go m/f -> f/f -> m/m (least favorite), but that is also extremely arbitrary because of a few different factors, but primarily because I will write basically anything and everything. If I'm writing it and I'm having fun, then nothing bothers me, and I'll come up with all sorts of ships for all sorts of reasons. (Usually ships occur on a whim during rps, which then makes it hard to explain how I got to that result outside of rps...)

Anyways, I hope I explained my reasonings well enough m(_ _)m I could definitely ruffle more feathers if I, like, posted a character tier list or something, and I'm kinda tempted anyway, because...I dunno, a tiny part of my brain is like "hehe, stick it to the man >:3c", I guess? Despite the fact I would definitely not be actually "sticking it" to anyone, like If no one cared what I thought before, they're super not gonna care after this--

[gmanwhore]

//minor vent

Every time I see tags that are like ‘oh you’re homophobic if you read the relationship between [insert two characters of the same sex] as anything other than romantic’ I feel the need to punch a wall.

Like, a post absolutely TRASHING people who don’t like a certain wlw ship came by my dash today, and some of the tags were downright aphobic about it. Most of the points they brought up about the whole ‘there’s no way they just care in a friend/family way’ idea literally only proved that they care about each other, they only really had one tidbit said in an interview later that described anything romantic, and the idea that the only reason two women who used to hate each other would care about each other is if they’re romantically/sexually in love is amatonormativity at its finest. Let me have my robot found family for crying out loud. (I’m literally a lesbian and want more wlw in media as much as the next queer, but that doesn’t mean I have to grasp at straws and ship every two fictional women who vaguely care about each other, ‘I think there should be more wlw representation’ and ‘I prefer to interpret these two female characters who are often interpreted romantically in a platonic/found-familial sense’ should not be contradicting statements, for sparkles’ sake!

Oh god exactly. I have gotten that so bad in different fandoms and it just sucks so bad like just leave people alone!!!!

[risingsouls]

[The DragonBall fan boys have to be the grossest fan boys, and that's beating hentai fan boys. Under the cut because. Good fucking grief it's gross. If you're an actual Goku fan, i suggest avoiding this one. Goku isn't my favorite character, but I like him, and this made me want to tear off my own limbs and eat them.]

[So I'm absolutely not surprised that this kind of garbage is created and spewed by this fucking fandom, but this once again proves the fan boys of this series want to project SO HARD onto the characters to live out their gross little fantasies with fictional characters. Which you know. Fine. But theyre doing it this time by tearing a character to ABSOLUTE SHREDS to do it. So they come up with this. That somehow, the most loyal and probably borderline asexual (demisexual maybe? His libido isnt fucking high guys thats obvious and he isnt a damn horn dog) character bangs all the "attractive" women, leaves his wife--who yes is written like shit but is attractive as well and he fucking LOVES HER as the fan boys and writers of at least Super conveniently forget--and has...a couple more kids with three different women? Like this is so fucking nasty I don't know where to BEGIN.

Like...fuck. the art is nasty and hyper-sexualizes at least Vados with big tiddies and her nipples showing through her wedding dress in one image.

Then there's the fucking ChiChi abuse. And you know. I'm not the biggest fan of how ChiChi is written, and I know this is a staple for the fan boys. Toriyama and Toyotaro really just made her a walking, awful stereotype like they've done with Bulma. But good grief. The "artist" first of all is wishy washy with her with this...fucking weird idea of ChiChi being okay with Goku shacking up with Vados, and serving them in bed? Like there is so much wrong with that from the obvious to like some gross societal ideas that once a woman reaches a certain age she's only worthwhile in a servile role. Unless they look like Bulma that is, who abuses the dragonballs to maintain her youth a d appearance BUT you get me. And despite that, the artist still has Beerus kill her for some reason? Because of course. And then the picture they have of her above the milk jar that I imagine is supposed to be her urn (even though I'm pretty sure a Hakai leaves nothing behind but why am I even trying to find a shred of something that is potentially accurate to the lore in this, when this is already steaming hot garbage and the lore is inconsistent anyway) is of her being angry. Like...fucking God. The idea that Goku doesn't love ChiChi is atrocious and flat out wrong, and he would NEVER select a picture like that to honor her. But I guess at this point who fucking cares because he's brought his hot angel mommy into their marriage home, so who cares about a little more disrespect, right? And that's not mentioning how the rest of his family is just a-okay with this.

I don't even know what to say about Heles and the Zeno baby. Like....wtf. you were fully into this Vados idea but now he's having a kid with Heles who he....literally never talked to. I'm not sure he ever really saw her.

I'm honestly a little surprised Bulma isn't somehow included in this atrocity. I say a little because she's probably not because that would mean taking their king Vegeta's wife from him and we can't have that. Also like...what does it say about the fan boys' masculinity when they want to make their Shonen anime into a literal, raunchy soap opera rather than a series about overpowered warriors fighting evil? Idk but that's not very manly....🙄🙄🙄 (disclaimer: I don't actually care about that kind of thing and men can absolutely enjoys soap operas; I only bring it up because they care about their very fragile masculinity being challenged). I mean these are probably the same people that whine and bitch about the filler in Z that's by and large actually not bad but stan everything Super has to offer, even the absolutely trash filler.

This pervasive shit is what makes it so hard to be a fan of this series, especially as a girl who grew into a woman watching this series since she was 6. And like yeah. Sure. Toriyama wasn't writing this shit for us. The target audience was boys. But damn. I know Toriyama and apparently Toyotaro are a lost cause on the sexist front, but it would be really nice if the fans didn't take their sexism and dial it up to 9000.]

[seerofmike]

14 & 27?

im assuming this is for apex !!!!!!!!!!!

14.) Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

yall have the worst fucking taste in ships. LISTEN i am aware that i am a filthy little m*wraith like (under certain circumstances) and this is the pot calling the kettle black but most of the popular ships in this fandom suck ass. the Cool Secret Indie Ships That Get Popular Overnight suck ass too. god bles

27.) Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen…

im gonna put aside obvious answers like "loba and valk etc etc"

ok so. per the s14 quest, i am cutting mirage OUT of wraith's storyline. i would NOT have mirage just hand wraith important information in a file for the SECOND time in apex history, like he has done this TWICE and it's felt like such an ass-pull both times. and him being involved with wraith's personal storyline now, helping her hunt for clues and answers when they LITERALLY just had her and bangalore talk out their problems and bangalore promises her that she'll uphold her end of the deal only for the writers to be like lol anyways mirage takes bangalore's place

it really feels like the writers have realized he's kind of useless overall to the Multiple Plots of apex and contributes so little compared to the amount of screentime he takes up. he's like the side comedy character that they keep putting too much focus on so in a panic they trashed the storyline they'd been building up for seasons with bangalore finally helping wraith out and them being Friends Maybe!! and instead of just giving him like. u know. his own storyline. or not involving him at all maybe. the writers' mirage boner kicked in and they forced him into it when he literally hasn't been important to wraith's personal story since he abruptly gave her the answers to everything The First Time back in s6, because if they don't put mirage in everything to milk the shit out of him and pander to reddit mirage kinnies they'll die. ugh

[matt0044]

Generally, I never tell anybody to skip anything. Not Anime Filler. Not certain installments that might not've sparked joy in me. Because my trash may be somebody's treasure.

Basically, start with Episode 1 and if it doesn't do it for you, them's the breaks. And god knows that Doctor Who runs the gambit. Hell, the showrunner has historically been shat upon during their time so your really gotta take a lot of salt with... well...:

I know that in today's faster than light culture of consumption, we wanna get view everything likity split but there's value in diving into a show on your own terms. Yeah, preview it. Check out clips, trailers and maybe essays on what makes it all tickity-boo.

Really we should also risk light spoilers too. Yes, there's a curtosy to keep in mind but there's a reason a lot of movie trailers risk being as revealing as they are.

@tumblingxelian and others in the RWBY fandom also know that, well, a fan telling you to avoid XYZ stuff in a franchise aren't always doing so with your best interests at heart.

never trust a doctor who fan to tell you which episodes of doctor who to watch because I just saw someone on my dash say that absolutely nothing consequential happened during the eleventh doctor’s run. ive seen people say that twelve’s last season was low quality. they’ve said that nine’s season is good, but you don’t really need to see it to understand what’s going on. someone suggested that ten is overrated and totally out of character for the doctor and his first two seasons are worth skipping so you don’t have to see any romance nonsense. tons of people think thirteen’s has no redeeming qualities whatsoever and should be written off entirely. trust no one. you gotta take matters into your own hands. godspeed

[idabbleincrazy]

We Make Our Own Destiny: Ageless

Fandom: Smallville

Rating: E (overall)

Pairing: Clex

Characters: Clark Kent, Lex Luthor, Martha Kent

Word Count: 3207

Warnings: coming out as a couple, Martha is not that surprised, awkward Lex, nervous Lex, nervous Clark, Martha Kent is the parent Lex deserves, episode rewrite

Episode Summary: Lex, Clark, and Lana discover an abandoned baby in a cornfield and take him back to the Kent farm. But when the newborn ages to a 7 year old in a matter of days, the trio frantically search for a cure before the rapid-aging disease kills him.

Chapter Summary: Clark and Lex talk things out with Martha.

Prologue: Part One

"Oh, my God." 

Without thought, Clark's hand slips into Lex's as they face Martha. He feels Lex try to tug out of his grasp, but doesn't allow it. She's caught them in an undeniable position, but he's not going to feel ashamed about it, regardless of the heat he feels pooling in his cheeks. He's just glad she didn't show up five minutes earlier, and that Jonathan isn't standing right behind her. 

"Martha, I can -"

"Mom, let me -"

The two young men look glance at each other, and Lex jerks his head stiltedly, deferring to Clark to start the agonizing explanation. Martha beats them to the punch, her gaze turning soft as she takes in their joined hands.

"Kitchen, two minutes." Martha turns back towards the stairs, hand gripping the side rail tightly for balance as she starts back down the way she came, calling over her shoulder. "Clark, clean up the cookies, would you? And keep an eye out for your father."

Still slightly stunned by the sudden outing of their relationship, Clark waits until he's certain his mother is halfway across the yard towards the house before speeding around the loft. In seconds, the boombox is off, the lights are unplugged and unstrung from the ceiling beams, the pile of bedding hidden away to deal with later, and the broken plate of ruined cookies swept up into the little trash can in the corner. Lex is still staring at the space Martha had occupied.

"Hey," Clark steps in front of Lex, forcing himself into his view. Lex blinks twice, and snaps himself out of his trance. "Lex, it's going to be okay, okay? This may not be ideal, but we were going to have to tell my parents eventually. At least it's just Mom. Dad'll be a lot harder to keep from flying off the handle."

Lex paled at that.

"No! I didn't mean…not like that. Mostly. He's just going to be harder to convince that my secret's safe with you."

"'Cause I'm a Luthor."

"It's really not so much about that, anymore. He's kinda moved you from 'those Luthors' to 'family members I'd rather not have to deal with more than once a decade'...like my mom's dad. Trust me, it's an improvement." Lex looks up at Clark skeptically. "Really! Honestly, it's going to be a toss up whether he'll be more…conflicted…about me being with a guy, any guy, or trusting you with my secret. You and I have had a rough year, friendship-wise, and they have always worried about the wrong person finding out about my powers, about what I am."

Lex sighs, accepting his own part in deepening that mistrust by keeping his own secrets. He'll have to face Jonathan's scrutiny at some point, and only hopes he can find a way to prove himself to the man. 

"Alright. It is what it is. Unless…you can't turn back time or anything, can you?" Clark chuckles and shakes his head. "Didn't think so. Well, let's rip the band-aid off, then."

Clark gives Lex a soft kiss on the cheek and takes his hand again, leading him down the stairs. Lex, reluctantly, let him pull him along across the spanse of dirt to the house. Letting the screen-door snick shut behind him, Lex hovered in the doorway once Clark finally let go of his hand. He hoped he wasn't blushing as profusely as he felt he was; Clark's hair was still sex-mussed, he felt a trickle of semen slowly drying on his upper thigh, and he was sure the smell of them, of what they'd just been doing, still lingered on their skin. There was no way it wasn't obvious that there had been more than just kissing going on up in the loft. 

Martha had set out a fresh plate of cookies on the kitchen counter, and was currently wrist-deep in a mound of dough, her sleeves rolled up to her elbows and fiery red hair swept back into a loose ponytail. Lex watched her warily as she picked up a rolling pin and began flattening the dough. He didn't think he'd ever seen her so much as raise her voice in anger, but held no doubt that she'd be a hellcat to contend with if she thought the safety of her family was jeopardized. No one grew up in Metropolis without learning how to protect what was theirs. 

"Lex, please, come sit down."

Hearing no underlying anger in her gentle voice, Lex crossed the room and sat on the stool next to Clark, leaving a few inches of space between them for modesty's sake. Prying his eyes away from his study of the countertop, he met Martha's questioning blue gaze, a pang of longing in his heart as he thought of his own mother. 

"Martha…Mrs. Kent, I'm sorry you had to find out this way, but please believe me, Clark had no idea how I felt about him until last night. I wasn't even really planning on telling him so soon, it just…I was just trying to salvage our friendship, and it just happened." He took a breath, wishing Martha would interrupt him, but no such luck. "And make no mistake, if he hadn't expressed the same interest, I would have left it as that. I would never force Clark into something he didn't want, something he wasn't absolutely sure about. I'm not that much of a monster, despite what the rags might report about my past."

Martha looked between Lex and Clark, who nodded his head in agreement, silently confirming his consent in whatever happened between them. In any case, it wasn't exactly like Lex could have forced Clark to do anything he didn't want to do, even if he had been so inclined. The question was whether Lex knew that. 

She wasn't blind; she'd seen the way the two boys had looked at each other almost from the start. She knew enough about Lex's past to know that gender was hardly even an afterthought in his preferences for bedmates. She also knew about the more risque parts of his teen years, had read the Inquirer's trashy, one-sided reports of his experiences with Metropolis' nightlife, the clubs, the drugs, the questionably aged partners he'd been seen slipping into seedy alleys with. Not that any of them had been too young, but more than a couple of the men had been much older than any seventeen year old should ever end up within the clutches of. But, she'd seen how he'd matured since his wild years, how much he had changed from that playboy bachelor of Metropolis' upper echelon into a fine young gentleman with his eyes on expanding his father's company and turning it into a business empire that was worth more than just its stock value. 

And she'd seen how Clark was around Lex. Moreover, she's seen how Clark is when he isn't around Lex. When their friendship is strained, when one more lie, one more secret, is wedged between them, Clark is back to that young boy he was before. Before Lex slammed into his life, and Clark learned he didn't have to hide completely away in order to keep everyone from looking too closely. Clark with Lex is smart, confident, mature, and exuberant. Clark without Lex, on the other hand, is sullen, awkward, and only does enough in school to keep his grades just slightly above average. It's like Lex gives Clark a reason to let himself shine. When there's tension in their friendship, when Lex is looking too deeply into things, or Clark's trust in Lex's better nature wavers, Clark reverts back to the boy who has to hide everything, keep everyone at bay. Less trips into town to hang out with Lana at the Talon, less invites offered to Chloe for a seat at the dinner table. Yes, Martha is not blind, but she didn't expect this to happen. At least, not so quickly. She expected Clark to come home from college one day, with Lex in tow, or a late night phone call confession, voicing his confusion over his feelings. Martha had prepared, but not well enough, apparently.

"Clark?"

Clark stilled his hand, where he'd been swirling his finger through the flour dusting the cutting board Martha used for rolling out pie crusts, green eyes wide and imploring.

"I love Lex, Mom. I have for a long time." Martha smiled softly as Clark took Lex's hand in his, noting how Lex didn't even flinch in distaste at the way the flour dust stuck to his skin. "And what he said is true. His gift…he got rid of everything, Mom, all that stuff I told you he had in that room. He turned it into a guest room for me. He was explaining things, and it just kinda slipped out that he loved me. I couldn't not say it back."

Martha sighed and turned her focus back to the pie dough, placing it in the tin pan and crimping the edges into place. 

"I can't say I'm exactly surprised by this, even if it's a bit sudden. The way you two circle around each other, it was bound to happen eventually. But, you can't expect me not to be worried, Clark."

"I know, Ma, but it's okay. He knows everything now, and I trust him. Jor-El trusts him, too."

Martha nearly ruined the crust in her shock. 

"Clark! You told him? You took him to the caves?"

"Mrs. Kent, please, there's really no reason to worry. It doesn't matter to me what Clark is; I only dug so deep into everything because I knew I was being lied to. I would do anything to protect your son. I already have." Lex looked at Martha knowingly. "You have to know that Mr. Kent's safety wasn't the only reason I shot Nixon that day in the woods. I admit, I let that matter get out of control, but I couldn't let him use what he'd found out to hurt Clark, to hurt any of you. I meant what I asked of you last year; if I could, I'd give up everything to be considered part of your family. Even with his distrust of me, Jona- Mr. Kent has still treated me far better than my own father has. I…I haven't felt for anyone else in my life, the way I feel for Clark, and that hasn't wavered in the four years I've known him."

Martha studied Lex's face, her heart aching at the depth of emotion she read in his eyes. It was going to take some time to accept that her son really was all grown up now, and to get over the mild hurt that, obvious as his feelings were, he had kept them to himself. She was so used to him confiding in her, or Jonathan, but she could see how this was something a child was reluctant to discuss with their parents. How much had she dreaded finally facing her father about her love for Jonathan? And their class imbalance held a lot less stigma than a same-sex relationship. The two of them were not going to have it easy, at least as long as they stayed in Smallville. Reaching out, she took Lex's free hand in hers, feeling a pang of sadness at the desperation that flickered in his gaze just before his eyes fell shut. She squeezed his hand comfortingly.

"We're still on a first-name basis, you know", she joked, trying to lighten the mood. "Lex, if Clark trusts you, then I trust you. I'm just worried…about your father, about Clark's father…about so much, really. But, I'm not going to try and stand in the way of your happiness."

Clark, who had been watching the exchange between his mother and Lex, got up and rounded the table to pull Martha into a grateful hug. 

"I knew you'd understand, mom."

Lex watched the two of them with some apprehension and an unavoidable twinge of envy, the faintest hint of guilt layered beneath it all. They both were willing to put so much trust in him, Clark doing so even though he knew there were things Lex was still keeping from him. He was a very, very bad man. All the secret, not-so-legal experiments, all the hidden research, the stockpiles of meteor rock - Kryptonite, and Clark hadn't pushed him to unearth every secret even as he bared his own. He had to make himself worthy. There was too much to lose. His father was going to fight him every step of the way, but if he had to get a bit shady and sabotage a few things to get it done, then he would. 

Martha pulled back from the hug just enough to seek out Lex, reaching across the counter to take his hand. She was slightly startled at the fear she could see deep in his gaze as their eyes locked. Her lips lifted in a soft, comforting smile, trying to ease whatever torrent of emotion was swirling through the young man. It was at that moment that Martha Kent realized how much she had already thought of Lex as much of a son to her as she did Clark. 

"I trust you, Lex, I trust you with my son. I trust you like my son." Martha squeezed his hand and looked back at Clark when Lex turned his head away in something like embarrassment. "Now, tell me what happened at the caves, you said you spoke to Jor-El?"

Clark wasn't as subtle as his mother, and accepted no resistance as he tugged Lex around the kitchen counter to pull him in close to his side. 

"Jor-El said I chose Lex, that he was one of a few that I had…I dunno, kinda placemarked? Lex was apparently the first, back when I came down, when I first saw him, half-conscious in Lionel's arms. When I touched him, I started a bond." Clark looked at Lex, an uncontainable grin stretching his lips. Lex shook himself from his guilt-trip and returned the smile as best he could. "He - the way he talked about it, made it sound like…like we're soulmates, or something. But, different, I guess, since I consciously chose him."

"Is that why you gave him that?" Martha nodded at the bracelet still wrapped around Lex's wrist. "You said the Kawatche claim it's meant for the one Naman was truly meant to be with."

"I planned on giving it to Lex before we even went to the caves, that just made me more confident that it was the right decision."

"Speaking of which," Lex interjected, tugging lightly at the bracelet, "it won't come off. I was going to tell you as soon as I noticed, but well, I got a little distracted."

All three of them flushed at the reminder of what had just been interrupted up in the loft, Clark turning the reddest of them all as he thanked the universe once again that it had only been a kiss his mother had seen. He let go of Martha and took Lex's arm in both hands, running his fingers around the bracelet. It was completely sealed around Lex's wrist.

"I think…that flash of light we saw come from it…" Lex spoke hesitantly, trying not to allude in any way just what they were doing when the bracelet had lit up. "I think that's when it happened. Guess it's a good thing I typically wear long sleeves, huh?"

Martha stepped closer to Lex, the look in her eyes asking permission, and Lex slipped his hand from Clark's and held his arm out for her own inspection. She took his slim wrist in her delicate grasp, turning his hand palm up, and reaching out her other hand to run her fingers over the silver band. 

"Ouch!" She dropped Lex's hand immediately, her forefinger lifted to her mouth to soothe away the sting that had shocked her when she ran her finger over where the seam should have been. 

"You okay, Mom?"

"I'm fine, sweetheart. Apparently, that was meant for him, complete with a defense mechanism against anyone who tries to take it from him. Looks like you're the only other person allowed to touch it." 

"Just one more thing I'll have to hide from my father. Lionel's seen the cave drawings, he knows the Kawatche legends, he'll become suspicious if he recognizes the bracelet from its depiction."

Clark gave Lex a sad smile, running his hand over the bracelet again.

"We'll figure something out. Maybe Jor-El will know a way it can come off, even if it's just for short periods of time. We need to go back to learn more about the Stones, anyways."

Martha stepped back from the boys, mentally correcting herself with a gentle young men, and quietly observed them for a moment. She watched Lex accept Clark's comfort, something she knew instinctively was not typical to Lex's nature. Leaving them to it for a moment, she finished readying the pie and set it in the oven, before turning back to them.

"Look, Clark, there's so much more we need to discuss, but your father will no doubt be headed back to the house for lunch by now. As much as I don't like even thinking about keeping secrets from Jonathan, I know it's probably best we ease him into the idea of you two." She took Lex's hands in hers again, being careful to avoid the bracelet, and gave him a reassuring smile. "Starting with you coming over for dinner tonight. After you go home and change, of course. We do see you as part of the family already, dear, Jonathan just needs a bit reminding of that. He needs to remember to see more than just your name when he looks at you."

"Thank you, Martha, truly. I can't express how much I value your understanding, your acceptance, of how we feel about each other. My father knows of my orientation, but he's never really approved; too worried that the Luthor line would end with me."

"Yes, well, I've never put much stock in Lionel's opinions on matters of the heart, Lex, and neither should you." Martha gave Lex a kiss on the cheek and released his hands, turning to Clark. "Now, do you think you'll be able to face your father right now, without giving anything away?"

"I think the safe answer is no. I mean, I could try…"

"No, no." Martha shook her head, reaching up to cup Clark's cheek. Her son really did have a hard time lying and hiding things from the people he cared about. He had unburdened one part of the load on his shoulders, just to gain another. She really needed to have a talk with Jonathan. "Let's not risk it. You go back to the mansion with Lex, dinner will be ready by six-thirty, and I expect you both to be on time. And try not to have too much fun."

Lex chuckled softly at the blush that pinkened Clark's cheeks at Martha's sly hinting. 

"Mom!"

Martha simply winked at Lex and shooed them both out the door, watching them from the porch as they walked down the driveway to the Porsche.

*****

@leatafandom

[sholeh675]

people who say “discuss” but actually mean “dictate”

[bereft-of-frogs]

ok I watched the Mandalorian finale.

TT_TT

well. that was good.

[mauesartetc]

So the new Helluva Boss Episode just came out for S2 episode 1 and I kinda wanted to know your thoughts! my god, it's so damn predictable and I had a feeling they we're gonna make Stella look worse and like the bad guy, to make the audience root for Stolas more, I had a feeling that's what was gonna happen and it's overall just so predictable, that it's not even funny! 🤦‍♀️😒 I said it before and said it again, I don't care about Stolas or what he's going through..because he did this to himself, and the only reason Stella is being paint as the bad guy, is because the story calls for it, they want Stella to be painted as worse to make Stolas look like this perfect angel. Even though, HE ISN'T!! He Sucks, and I'm just so tired of this show doing this..you can make an asshole character interesting and enjoyable to watch, but Stolas is a character I just never cared about or understand the appeal to, he's just not a good character.

I honestly have no plans for watching this season, I just don't see any improvements happening and also I just don't feel comfortable watching this series or being in the fandom, for how toxic it is and how the fandom acts, and attacks certain people for having opinions different from theirs and not liking the show. I just wanna move on and forget about helluva, if I'm being honest with you..I'm glad I was able to move away from a toxic fandom and see the show's issues, because there was some stuff I didn't see before with the series.

Also another thing I've gotta point out real quick, it'd just feeling like HB is becoming, "The Stolitz Show" I mean, why did both Stolas and Blitzo have to meet as children, why couldn't we get something different?? Heck, why didn't this first episode be about both Moxxie and Millie? We could've had this first episode be a flashback to both Moxxie and Millie, how they met and got into IMP. At least, THAT Would've been interesting and could've gave Millie some development and have more to her.

But nope, what we got was a Stolitz flashback episode as our first episode to the second season..because that's all the fans wanna see, and that's all I've been seeing on Twitter. Is fans talking about how amazing and great the episode is, and how it's a Stolitz episode. Along with trashing Stella, and saying how much they hate her...it's just UGH, I did have some hope for improvement for this upcoming season, but I just don't know what to feel anymore. I don't even have the energy to really get angry, because I expected all of this..I expected the show to do this, and try painting Characters like Stella, Stolas's dad as the bad guys.

Honestly in my opinion, I know it's the first episode..but I just don't really see this show getting better or improving at all.

Oh yeah, just saw it earlier, and I agree with all these criticisms. I'll go into more detail in a subsequent post, but... yeah, it's bad. Not the worst Helluva episode (I still think that "honor" goes to Murder Family, followed immediately by CHERUB), but it still has some pretty terrible writing moments. It's painfully obvious they torpedoed any chance Stella had at being a well-rounded character just to make us sympathize with Stolas. And, uh... no. All it's done for me is make me pissed at the writers.

I mentioned in another post that my relationship with Vivziepop projects feels like being a fan of a sports team that keeps losing. I want this shit to succeed because there are so many talented people involved, and in Hazbin Hotel's case, it could lead to more independent animated pilots getting greenlit. But my GOD, does Helluva's writing ever drag it down. I keep holding on to hope that the show will get better, but I'm also driven by a compulsion to fix things, and this show has a fucking lot to fix. Or maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment. I don't know anymore.

Regardless, I'll stick with it (for now), though I completely understand why you're giving up. Godspeed, and think fondly of the fools left behind.