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girlbookwrm · 6 years ago

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A New Year’s Thor

THE MIGHTY ENDGAME REWATCH CONTINUES WITH KENNETH BRANAGH’S thor

How did I spend New Year’s? Continuing our mighty pre-endgame rewatch with The Roommate ( @goteamwin ) and The Gal Pal ( @pegasuschick ). We’re watching Thor, the Kenneth Branagh-i-est of the Marvel Movies.

Note: We were all. Very Drunk.

“You know what’s worked great in all our movies so far? TIME JUMPS!” - every early marvel film.

right away I comment to The Roommate: What is up with all these angled shots?

The Roommate, a video editor and producer: Actually that’s called a canted shot.

Me, mere moments later: not a lot of shots in this that AREN’T canted, are there.

seriously, watch this movie. If I made note of every canted shot, these rewatch notes would be 90% CANT.

Stellan Skarsgard here bringing the Nord, and Natalie Portman bringing the... wait how the hell did they get Natalie Portman in-- oh right. Kenneth Branagh directed this.

hey it’s Tonsberg! like from CATFA! Neat!

listen there are too many blue cubes in marvel. This was super fucking confusing when I was wee and not yet obsessively into Marvel. There’s the Casket (which the frost giants use) and then there’s the Tesseract (which is different? but also blue??) and let it be known that in the comics there is ALSO the cosmic cube which is NEITHER of those things but the roommate initially called both the Casket and the Tesseract the Cosmic Cube, because -- as was previously mentioned -- this is super fucking confusing.

Let it be known that the Roommate, when quite young, went to see this movie in theaters with her very first boyfriend on her very first date.

The Roommate, Way Back When: So... they’re gods? like? the norse gods?

The Roommate’s Very First Boyfriend: They’re actually aliens.

The Roommate, Now: He was wildly underexplaining this.

what actually is this ceremony? what does it accomplish?

Tom Hiddleston has said nothing yet, but he has said So Much. Also,

The Roommate: Who is that lovely woman in the horned helmet? Loki has a beautiful woman’s face.

The Gal Pal: He does make a beautiful mare. The MOST beautiful mare, in fact.

She is Not Wrong.

thank god someone saved us from Malibu Thor here, he is Too Blonde

“I, Odin Allfather, Proclaim you the Frost Giants.”

this must have been so confusing for all the Asgardians here.

Oh hey it’s Sif and What’s His Face and That Other Guy and F...

farrrr...

franduil?

fan... dis?

AT THIS POINT WE HIT MIDNIGHT WHILE IDRIS ELBA WARNED US TO BE CAREFUL IN THE COLD WASTES OF JOTUNHEIM

FANDRAL!

fandral is his name.

At this point, while the fighting was going on, we got a lil side tracked talking about the movie in general.

The Roommate: It’s like the Temptation of Thor. Christ spent 40 days in the desert, Thor spends 48 hours in New Mexico.

The Gal Pal: Are you saying Thor is better at this than Jesus?

The Roommate: No, I’m saying he’s half-baked.

This is the first time Thor flies with the hammer and all i could think was “oh my god the hammer pulled you off???”

Dear Anthony Hopkins, what are your acting choices?

Anthony Hopkins: HUARGH!!!!!

aaaaaand thirty minutes in, we’re finally back to the beginning.

“Yes I did” Darcy is a T R E A S U R E

So much of this movie is Thor becoming unconscious. bless.

C A N T

All men (with a few odd token women), grilling, pickup trucks, literal “hold my beer” -- u s a, U S A, U! S! A!

pooter!

Hey! Phil is here!

aw yissss thor with no shirt -- sidenote: he’s definitely freeballing it here, right? I mean there’s no way he’s wearing underwear under those jeans. Doesn’t that chafe on his little hammer?

Let’s all agree that right up until he goes way off the deep end, Loki is 10000% not wrong about any of this. Thor was definitely not ready to be king, he was an idiot. and also, I was never much of a Loki fan, personally, but Loki’s having a real bad day.

Grows up being told that he was destined to be a king, but there’s only one throne --> has to watch his idiot brother get ?crowned? --> decides to play a prank (who wouldn’t, right?) --> fRoSt GIaNt???????? --> BRoTHerR BAnISHedD????????? --> FROST GIANT???????? --> ODINSLEEP?????????? --> KING NOW?????????? BUT FROST GIANT STILL??????????????

Loki and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

And seriously, what was Odin’s plan here? “I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day, and I’d just pepper in the fact that you’re a frost giant and I kidnapped you and you’d be totally cool with it.”

Odin Allfather: A+ parenting, Literal baby snatcher.

THIS DRINK! I LIKE IT! ANOTHER!

The Roommate: I love that Jane’s motivation isn’t really to get with Thor, it’s to get with SCIENCE.

Sometimes I forget that this is actually a funny movie, but they just had no idea how to handle the comedy in it? like, they had a comedy script and they just filmed it like a straight drama/action movie for some reason.

“A pioneer in gamma radiation” Is that bruce???

follow up: yes. Yes it is Bruce.

The canting here is Very Cant.

What time of year is it in NM that everyone is wearing this many layers.

Thor being all: “I know ur midgardian but I’d tap that.”

Jane Foster: Brilliant Scientist, Menace on the Road.

Why. Why is the SHIELD site set up like this.

What purpose does it serve

why.

W H Y.

(subnote, we investigated this afterwords and apparently it’s designed to look like a sigil of the word SHIELD, like all the letters smooshed on top of each other but also IT IS NOT and also also THAT IS DUMB AS FUCK.)

(though grudgingly, i admit, thematically appropriate given the overall norse-ness of this movie.)

(STILL FUCKING STUPID)

sitwell!

What is causing this rain?

The Roommate: Because, like everything else from Asgard, Meu-myeh is Extra™

Hey it’s Hawkguy!

Side side note, I am pretty sure that I also went to see this movie with my very first boyfriend and he got super excited about Hawkeye like “omg it’s clint and he has a bow and he’s so fucking cool omg omg omg!” and i was just like “????? kay? but he passed over all those obviously superior guns and then he does literally nothing tho????”

fast forward and the first comic i bought for myself was Matt Fraction’s Hawkeye

aaaaand I’m dating a woman now.

Honestly cannot tell if windy or cant

H U A R G H ! ! ! !

I really want to go into the roommate’s Benedict Cumberbatch Upgrade Theory of Tom Hiddleston but also this is getting super long and honestly she’s so right it deserves its own post

nah I’m gonna

The theory goes like this: Bandersnatch Cucumberpatch is an alien scout sent to learn our ways and gain influence in our culture, but he’s like, the first draft. They weren’t really sure what a human was supposed to look like.

Tom Hiddleston is Model 2.0

Tom Hiddleston is the upgraded Benedict Cumberbatch

The roommate explained this to me and I just looked at her sidelong for a looooooooong minute and said: u sure u want me to put this on the internet? r u sure??

“You have great power, Heimdall”

The Gal Pal: yeah, ur the only black man is Asgard.

“hit you with my car” WAIT IS ALL THOR’S CHARACTER GROWTH THE RESULT OF TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY?

*CANT INTENSIFIES*

Thor: I’m just a man. Just a very tall, very handsome, VERY buff man.

wouldn’t it have been AMAZING if Jane had caught the hammer instead? I mean? WOULDN’T THAT HAVE BEEN FUCKING AWESOME????

Frigga: She Did Her Best, But She Still Raised The Two Dumbest Boys In the Nine Realms.

Despite my earlier statements, Loki definitely does end his day with attempted fratricide, successful patricide, and questionably successful genocide so.

“Is it madness? Is it? IS IT???”

The Roommate: I mean. Yeah, buddy.

At this point, Thor has No Idea what the fuck is going on. he doesn’t know Loki’s a frost giant.

ORRRR he does know, because everyone knew, everyone but Loki always knew.

Odin: *WAKES UP* WTF ARE MY SONS DOING?

“no loki” ODIN WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DUDE

“you’ve already made me proud” literally all you had to do was say that to your other son one (1) time.

wait is this a foo fighters song???

#the mighty pre endgame rewatch #thor

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redravenapts · 7 years ago

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every other question foooor sam and ian bc i can

Know your muse - Sam1. Do they have living close relatives (brother, sister, parents, uncle, aunt, etc)?Yes, his father is alive but locked up, serving a life sentence for the murder of Sam’s mother. He has no other family, aside from his foster one, whom he can’t contact anymore.3. Are they more likely to choose Marvel or DC?Though he likes both, he’s partial to Marvel, especially the X-Men. He used to play with action figures of them when he was small, and watch the cartoon on tv with his mom. 5. What color are their bedroom walls?The ceiling is painted light blue, the walls are white. 7. Have they ever binge-watched a TV show?Hahahahahahahahah. Yes. 9. What’s their favorite book genre? Urban fantasy and science-fiction. He’s particularly partial to Douglas Adams. But he also likes crime novels, like Agatha Christie. 11. What is the pet they would absolutely never keep?Any type of bird, really. He doesn’t really like them much, especially loud ones.13. Dracula or Frankenstein? Dracula. Always Dracula. He loves vampires, especially Anne Rice’s.15. Have they ever been to the ER? What for?He was taken to the hospital when the police arrived at his house the night his mother was killed; he was uninjured but he was in shock and had her blood on him. Another time, when he was fifteen, he had a small accident as he was riding his bike to school. He was taken to the ER, but he was mostly okay, just a little bruised. 17. Have they ever stormed out of their workplace in a rage? If not, would they?No, he hasn’t, but he would, given a good reason. Though it would have to be a very good reason.19. What’s the first movie they remember watching at the movie theater?He went to see Madagascar with his mother when he was about six. 21. Do they have a funny email address or a serious one? Or both?He has several emails, most of which are funny and dorky, but also a couple of serious ones. 23. Would they hire a prostitute?Probably not. He’s not the type to consider paying for sex. He either gets it, or he takes care of business himself. 25. Uber or taxi?Uber, most of the time. 27. Do they prefer sunny or rainy weather?Given that he doesn’t like spending time outside much, he prefers rainy weather, which gives him an excuse to stay inside. 29. Have they ever kissed someone of the same sex?Not really, though he’d do it if he’s dared to. 31. Would they sleep in a haunted house for $1,000?Definitely. Not for the money, but to see if it’s actually haunted or if it’s just a hoax. 33. Do they prefer traveling by train or plane?Train, there’s too much scrutiny at the airport and he’s still very aware that he’s a criminal. So just in case, he prefers to avoid the authorities whenever he can.35. What’s their favorite season?Winter, he loves sweater and blanket season, and hot cocoa with candy canes. Though it’s hard for him to get into the Christmas spirit ever since living alone. 37. What do they put in their coffee/tea?He drinks his coffee with just sugar, but a lot of it. He’s not too big on tea, but when he’s offered it, he drinks it with just as much sugar. No milk. 39. What’s the liquor that made them so sick that one time that they can never drink it again?He’s never been drunk enough for this to happen, but he generally stays clear of hard liquor like whisky and vodka. 41. What photographs can be found in their home?In his living room there are no pictures of loved ones, just random prints of city landscapes and movie posters. In his bedroom, there is a picture of his mother with him, and a few with his best friend Ian, and in some with Javier too. Of course, there is a picture with him and Belle on his desk. 43. Did they tell their parents when they lost their virginity?Definitely not. His foster father gave him the talk, but Sam never really felt comfortable talking to him about that stuff. He did tell his therapist, however. 45. What’s the one place on Earth they’d never visit? His father’s prison. And any desert area, because he hates extremely hot weather.47. Would they go live on another planet if given the chance?Hell yeah. He plans on signing up for the Mars colonization program as soon as it starts. 49. Was there another FC in the run when you picked theirs?No. Well, for thirty seconds, there was a Tyler Posey there in my mind, but no, Sam is Tom Holland. No one else. ———————————————————-—————————————Know your muse - Ian2. Would they step in to stop a mugging? Definitely yes, and possibly get hurt in the process. He wouldn’t just stand by and watch it happen, though. 4. Do they use their car’s air conditioning or do they just roll the windows down?Roll the windows down and enjoy the wind. Even though it means breathing in city traffic air. 6. White, milk or dark chocolate?All chocolate is sacred to Ian, but he does have a soft spot for, like, super bitter dark chocolate.8. Have they ever met a celebrity? If so, how did it go?He met the British royal family, complete of the Queen’s corgis. It was very formal and brief, but he got the impression they’re all less uptight than most people think. Ironically. 10. Do they prefer liquid soap or regular soap bars?Liquid soap, it’s just more practical and pleasant to use. 12. What are they like with the flu? “I’m a stoic Greek hero and I can endure anything” or “OH MY GOD CALL THE PRIEST I’M DYING”?He’s definitely the “OH MY GOD CALL THE PRIEST I’M DYING” type; he was very spoiled by his mother as a child, when it came to being sick, and he’s way too overdramatic about the whole thing. 14. Do they prefer having women or men doctors?It depends on what the problem is. He’s perfectly fine with women doctors, as long as the problem is not localized in any nether region. 16. As a child, did they sleep with a night light or not?He did when he shared the bedroom with Margaret, but stopped after she got her own room. He wasn’t really afraid of the dark as a baby, but strangely enough, he was terrified of fireworks. 18. What would they name their first child?Probably something that refers to his Welsh heritage, but nothing like his middle names. Though his father would probably guilt him into using at least one of their traditional names. He likes Gavin for boys and Gwyneth for girls. 20. What was their dream job when they were little?He was a huge Indiana Jones buff, something he would never admit to now, and wanted to become an archeologist. When he realized he wouldn’t be melting Nazis with the Ark of the Covenant, he lost interest in this career choice. 22. Have they ever cheated on their significant other? If so, did they confess, keep it a secret or were they discovered?No, he’s never cheated and if it did happen, he would end up confessing it sooner rather than later. Though he likes to think of himself as unattached, he does have a deep sense of loyalty which would make it hard for him to lie about it. 24. What’s their breakfast drink of choice?Tea, black, with no sugar. Two cups. Very strong. 26. What’s their dream vacation?Somewhere warm, tropical, with plenty of girls in bikini and unlimited drinks with colorful umbrellas. Montego Bay would be perfect. 28. What’s the best Christmas gift they’ve ever received?Believe it or not, his parents actually got him a pony when he was eight years old. His name was Buckbeak, because Harry Potter was definitely a big thing in his life at that time. 30. What’s the worst memory they have?He’s been blessed with a good life, but he dreads the memory of his maternal grandmother’s death. He was very close to her, and it came unexpectedly, so it really hit him hard. 32. Have they ever been in a threesome? If not, would they?Oh yes, he has. And he would definitely repeat the experience. 34. Do they have a phobia?Not anymore, but as a child, he was terrified of fireworks. No one ever figured out why, but as he grew older, it slowly got better until it went away. 36. Have they ever experienced something traumatic that left a scar (physical or not)?He fell off his horse when he was seventeen and injured his back; he was bedridden for two months, but ended up recovering completely. 38. Have they ever smoked weed? What about harder drugs?Yes, he has, and he does it from time to time, though not very often. As for harder drugs, no, he’s not interested in trying them. His brain is his trade and he needs it to be fully functioning. 40. Did they like coloring as a child?Not at all, every time he had to color something as homework, he’d get Margaret or someone else to do it for him. 42. Train at the gym or run at the park?Both. He trains with weights at the gym, but often goes jogging at the park.44. What city in the world would they move to if they could?New York City, and he did. He’s never leaving. 46. Do they want to have children?Yes, it’s definitely in his plans, but down the line, in a few years. 48. Did they go to prom?Kind of. He went to the school’s formal ball, and it was mostly boring, until he and his friends snuck alcohol in. 50. Do you think you would get along with them if they were real? Possibly, yes. He’s got a good sense of humor, and he’s a good guy, so I think we could chat over beers and get along just fine.

#aaaaaaaaand done #sam: headcanon #ian: headcanon #meme: answered #scnsualis

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couldbeyourlife · 6 years ago

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that’s a party platter it serves 12 people

avengers done been assembled spoilers below the cut ramble ramble garble garble hyperbole and capslock

Caveats(?) as it were? My reactions are my own and not a judgment of anyone else’s feelings, thoughts, or reactions. There are like, many paths to the rainbow, dude. It ain’t that deep here for the most part. In this movie especially, there were a lot of moments where my feelings can be summed up with:

Also, Steve and Natasha are my babies my faves I love them most and best.

Overall, liked MUCH MUCH better than IW. IW focused way the hell too much on people IDGAF about. This one was about the OGs and people I care about so I am here. for. that.

Has me thinking reallllllly how much of all of this is about getting that Moment On Screen. The “avengers assemble” or steve with the hammer or w/e. Things as “fans” we all have these images of in our imaginations or have seen on page and grown to see as iconic. And really, so very much of all of the Avengers movies mostly seem to be plots strung along to get to those moments? Which, I mean is it what it is. That’s what comic book team up Event Books are about. We’re getting an 18 months crossover event stuffed into a couple of hours BASICALLY. This movie, even more than the others, felt most like a comic book.

I yelled “fuck you” at least twice at the screen to Tony in the first 20 minutes. The entire thing between him and Steve after Tony gets back was so very not a good look.

I mean Tony was worse and then better and god as a character he is just so much better in HIS OWN MOVIES. JESUS GOD. Let me stop at IM3 and sing Adele at that. I mean, he’s dead now which works for his arc within the avengers movies. I’m glad he got to form a baby? Ugh. I still find the Iron Man --> Spidey thing odd in the MCU since Spidey is the og really here, y’all. IDK MAN.

“HEY QUEENS” MY HEART IT HURTS.

All of Steve and Natasha’s interactions made me clap with JOY. It made me want so much MORE of team Cap’s initial time on the run and then afterward with the two of them. UGH. The fact that Natasha is what Steve is crying about in that crying scene from the trailer? JUST LEAVE ME IN THE ROAD TO DIE OKAY.

Which gets to, I am super very glad I both waited and was spoiled. There were a lot of things I would have been less down with if it had been a LE TWIST! if I didn’t know. Such as the failed mission to kill thanos. Also, if Natasha’s death had been unspoiled for me I probably would have gotten the fuck up and walked out the theater yelling OH FUCK ALL Y’ALL.

SAME BUT DIFFERENT FOR LEBOWSKI THOR. EVEN KNOWING IT WAS COMING I WAS STILL BASICALLY THE THIRSTIEST FUCKING BITCH IN THE UNIVERSE WHEN HE WAS REVEALED AND EVERY FUCKING MOMENT AFTER THAT ESPECIALLY WHEN HE SUITED THE FUCK UP. Had I not been prepared I probably would have thrown my bra at the screen. I mean y’all my fucking husband for life is jack black i gots a type. my eyes are just rolling back in my head w/e w/e w/e I’ll get to Thor more later I just gotta thirst all over this god damn page because UGHa;ldafdaadf9df;/ ; I KNOW WHAT I’M ABOUT, SON.

if you aren’t here for wanting ten million pages of lebowski thor and bearded cap fucking then idek

Speaking of the porn. The following are things I want: Five year gap Steve/Natasha, Natasha/Carol, STEVE/NATASHA/CAROL, Thor/Valkyrie, Carol/Valkyrie, Carol/Thor/Valkyrie (GOD BLESS YOU, TESSA AND BRIE)

CAROL DANVER’S SHEER DEEP POWERFUL LESBIAN POWER AND ENERGY MADE ME SWOON EVERY TIME SHE WAS ON SCREEN. I loved her interactions with everyone of course. Her eye roll at Rhodey at the start was grate. Enjoyed what interactions we had of her and Steve A LOT. I clapped when he radioed to Danvers during the big scene.

SCOTT LANG BEST AVENGER OR MOST BEST AVENGER Y/MFY/CAP’S ASS IS THE BEST ASS SIR ROGERS CAPTAIN SIR???!!!

Really, Scott is and was the best and I just loved him so much. Definately one of the characters that can keep me engaged with the MCU going forward (see also: Carol and T’Challa)

I have so many frustrated and angry feelings about Natasha’s death. I get what people are saying about her and full circle etc. But I think that’s all bullshit really. It is a narrative choice to make that her arc? Like, her entire thing was she had things to make up and redeem herself for. Tony’s entire thing was that he was a selfish dick that learned to be unselfish. Natasha didn’t have a self-sacrifice problem. SHE WAS RAISED TO BE A GOD DAMN WEAPON. SHE’S A SURVIVOR because that’s what a weapon does and there is a huge difference in that. I get they needed to rid themselves of several of the OG Avengers so Dead Tony, Time Jump Steve, and Natasha being dead? I just. I’m too tired to get into hardcore, but I am mad. I will be mad and I will stay mad. Like, I get why they did it, but the writers MADE THAT CHOICE and so I am perma fucking pressed about it.

I honestly dgaf about the GotG and anything related to them and any moment with any of those characters, other than the Rabbit and Thor together, was basically dead airspace. I just DON’T FUCKING CARE. So every minute with them was wasted except for Thor. Oh THOR. Honestly, talk about a dude that started at the bottom for me and now we at the top. (THAT’S WHAT YOU FUCKING GET, TONY STARK FOR BEINGdl;af). Ahem. I feel like Thor’s arc made sense to me? Like he gets to go be the sort of person he’s always wanted to be who he is inside which is PROBABLY a well meaning and heroic semi-frat boy who wants to play with his Rabbit friend and have adventures and drink beer? His entire thing has been about how much he was or wasn’t able to be a good person v. a good king etc and idk IT WORKED FOR ME and he had one of the better OG endings imo. Also, like THOR HAS SEEN SOME SHIT? SOME REAL ASS SHIT THAT HE GETS TO HAVE SOME FUCKING FEELINGS ABOUT? AND REAL ASS SHIT THAT HIS LIFE UP UNTIL SHIT GOT REAL DID NOT PREPARE HIM FOR AT ALL? Like, I made a C on a paper in grad school and drank an entire bottle of champagne and fell off a chair. I GET IT. (I get a lot of this in the meta context comes from Hemsworth being fucking miserable with what they were doing with Thor because it SUCKED and people realizing that he’s fucking HILARIOUS and rolling with that). Also, a lot of the upset people seem to be really attached to Loki and liek w/e, but who hurt you?

Speaking of OGs. The entire Bruce/Hulk thing was weird. I get they were real into what they could do special effects wise but... idk man. I wasn’t here for it?

No one cares about Hawkeye. I mean I know there are people that say that but like. Him?

ON YOUR LEFT, CAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IF YOU DON’T LOVE SAM WILSON AND SHIP HIM AND STEVE IDK WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND WHAT YOUR PRIORITIES ARE?

SAM WILSON CAPTAIN AMERICA IS ALL I HAVE WANTED AND NEEDED OTHER THAN THE OTHER THINGS I HAVE ALSO WANTED AND NEEDED.

Which gets us to the last two and biggest two things: Steve and MCU’s entire time travel theory? They even SAY the BttF time travel theory and hint at the multiverse/DC theory of time travel. They seem to be hitting to something closer to the Umbrella Academy where what is going to happen is going to happen except?????????? HOW IT DOESN’T but it also can split into other realities but only because of the stones or? (This is also where the entire event book crossover Big Bad is always annoying because a) everything bad ends up being about that and b) there is way the hell too much bg mythology to care about. Hydra - Nazis MAKES SENSE! Evil Grimace abuses his daughters for fun and profit and wants to make the universe great again but thinks LotR didn’t go far enough with the jewelry thing???) AHEM. I mean, I got to a point where I was like, “this is the most 2019 movie because evil is inevitable because Hope is a Lie and Evil Always wins UNLESS YOU CAN BEND TIME TO YOUR WILL except nope not even that HA HA” So, I can’t really lockdown the internal logic completely on the MCU theory of time travel. It is sort of making sense until we get to Steve’s ending?

SO.

I have no dislike of this. It is cute. It is fine. It is what Steve deserved. Hell, it is what Peggy deserved. There are other ways it could have went and I would have been down with that too? I’ve been prepared for Steve to die for like 4 years now so you know, this is fine. It removes Cap from the action equation so CEvans like ScarJo and RDJ can be free. I think, if you’re inclined that way there are a ton of character questions you can ask there? Things to pick at and find interesting. I enjoyed Steve’s entire thing this movie immensely (his interactions with 2012 self were great. Him using Bucky against himself I thought was amazing). But here is where I start questioning the time logic which can be summarized with:

WHAT ABOUT POPSICLE STEVE?

Is there a Steve floating out in the ocean still to be found in 2011? There would need to be a Cap from 2011-2019 to put other people in place. You don’t have Sam and Bucky (for example) where they are at UNLESS THERE IS CAP AT THAT POINT??????? Which makes sense because there has to be a Steve to go back to Peggy (AWWW MY HEART IT HURTS), SO does it reform the mobius strip of the timeline to where Steve was ALWAYS in the past with Peggy (but on the downlow???????? WAS HE JUST TOTES NOT STEVE CARTER HUSBAND OF PEGGY CARTER and IDK taught P.E. in Brooklyn???) and so it basically reforms itself to where what was happened always happened but it MEANS that popsicle Steve and Steve from the future that is now in the past exist at the same time and THEN STEVE HAS TO NOT MAKE OUT IN HIS UNDERWEAR WITH HIS OWN MOM????? Or? Like, Hulk even says that when you mess with time, time messes back what are the consequences? Are there? At some point wouldn’t THAT cause some sort of weird paradox? I realize I’m asking SRS questions about fictional time travel so really who is the broken weirdo here me or Marvel (MARVEL OBVIOUSLY?). I’ve read a lot of theories on this and explanations, but none of which really satisfy me.

and REALLY isn’t that the most comic book thing of it all? The points don’t count and the rules don’t matter. I mean that in the best way possible, really. Fine, it was a yellow bug in Hal Jordan’s brain all along. Oh okay, Barry Allen’s grandson from the future? SURE WHATEVER. I eagerly look forward to ten years from now some fucking fetus getting cast as a new Captain America and being able to yell at whippersnappers how the only REAL CAPTAIN AMERICA IS CHRIS EVANS I HAVE BEEN THIRSTING CORRECTLY SINCE 2009 YOU PUNK ASS LITTLE BITCHES.

#avengers spoilers here yo #le spoilers de avengers???? (something somethidlf)

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surveyjunkie · 8 years ago

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i wish the tide would take me over

The 5000 question survey part 7

601. Do you have a lust for life?

Not at the moment, no. 602. Do you want to get more out of life?

Of course. I just don’t have the means at the moment. 603. Would you want to learn to: Convert to Buddhism?

I’ve considered it.

Cure a hangover?

It’s not really that hard to cure or prevent a hangover. Just take a multivitamin with a glass of water. Or drink pickle juice.

Lie persuasively?

I already know how to do that. << 604. What character from a movie is most like you?

Kristen Wiig’s character from Bridesmaids. 605. Are you comfortable with the idea of your own death?

No, is anyone? 606. How do you feel about arranged marriages?

They’re fucked up. 607. What do you hate that everyone else seems to like?

Diet Coke or IPAs 608. What do you like that others seem to hate?

Sour beer 609. If you had to be named after a month, which month would you pick?

April 610. Is time more like a highway or a meadow to you?

Highway

611. What is your favorite movie?

Silver linings playbook. 612. Which would you choose to be back in the day: a warrior, an alchemist, a minstrel, a bard, an oracle, a peasant, or a merchant?

I’d chose to be an oracle, I think. << 613. What is your favorite song lyric?

I don’t have just one, that’s too hard. 614. What will you never run out of?

"I forgive you”s 615. If you could force someone to fall madly in love with you, (anyone you choose) would you do it?

I already have who I want. 616. Have you ever seen the Disney movie The Black Cauldron?

Long long ago. 617. Have you ever read The Black Cauldron by Alexander Lloyd (or any of his other books in the Prydain Chronicles)?

Long long ago.

618. Have you ever written a paper the night before it was due? Yup…

How about the day it was due?

Yes. 619. Is there a movie you have watched so many times that you can quote it line for line?

Maybe Mean Girls, or Coming to America. 620. What is your favorite season?

Late spring/early summer 621. Do you mind being described as cute?

No. 622. What is the tackiest object in your home?

I’m not sure. 623. What do you think people are most ignorant towards?

Mental health 624. What is it that makes you an interesting person?

Other than my background, I don’t really think anything about me is interesting. 625. What makes other people interesting to you?

I feel like that’s a loaded question. I’m usually always the most interested in people who don’t talk very much because they come off as mysterious, but I also think a person’s personal experiences or views on life make them interesting too.

626. How open to suggestion are you?

Fairly open

627. Is Michael Jackson black or white?

Black. 628. Are you often lonely?

Just when I’m at work. These surveys are a personal escape from the bleakness that surrounds me when I’m here. 629. What’s the most unusual pet you’ve ever had?

Bearded dragon, but they’re not considered unusual anymore. 630. Have you ever threatened an authority figure?

I don’t think so 631. If you had to choose would you rather make all your decisions henceforth with your head only or with your heart only?

Head only 632. How imaginative are you?

Fairly 633. Do you like the Counting Crows?

They’re okay 634. If you took this survey from the diary (5000 Q Survey V2.0) did you note me so I could read it?

I did not. 635. Are you more tense or laid back?

A weird combination of both 636. Does your happiness depend on anyone else, or are you happy no matter what any one says or does?

Somewhere in between? I think it definitely depends on my loved ones but I also know I need to create my own 637. What do you think of the idea of putting the bible into the format of a fashion magazine to attract the interest of teenagers?

LOL.

638. How often do you drink to get drunk? Once or twice a week

639. Would you consider yourself to be diplomatic?

Too diplomatic sometimes.

640. Do you think that most of the classes you have taken were taught in such a way as to make plain the relevance of the subject matter in your everyday life?

I majored in psychology, so yes.

641. Do you remember Crystal Pepsi?

No, I’m too young. I’ve heard of it though.

642. When was the last time you spent a night away from home?

Whenever I was last at Josh’s.

643. Some people say that there is no such thing as a stupid question. Is that true?

It’s somewhat true. If you ask a question it means you are seeking knowledge rather than claiming you know something. 644. What is the most interesting TV channel?

I haven’t had cable in a couple of years now, but I thought TLC always had some pretty interesting/wacky shows.

645. Name one song you could live without hearing ever again:

Probably every single twenty one pilots song. (sorry)

646. Do your pets understand you when you talk?

Kind of, yeah. I think they know when I’m talking about them. 647. What are three things you HAVE NOT done that might surprise people?

I’ve never surfed, been to overnight camp, or gotten my tonsils removed 648. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

Kind of...more like a stalker I suppose. 649. Have you been to a museum this year?

650. Do you ever watch porn?

I used to on occasion. 651. Do you think that it would be a good idea if people served in the army, navy or air force for a while before they were allowed to vote?

No. 652. If you were required to do this to vote, would you?

I wouldn’t be allowed in the army for various health reasons, so it doesn’t matter. That’s part of why I don’t think it would be a fair requirement. 653. Do people often give you weird looks?

No 654. Do like Japanese cooking?

Yes. 655. Do you care for stray animals?

Whenever I can, I try to. I’ll put out food for stray cats if they’re wandering around the neighborhood. 656. Which animated movies have you seen and what did you think of them: A Charlie Brown Christmas, A Garfield Halloween, The Secret of Nimh, The Last Unicorn, The original Lord of the Rings cartoons

I’ve only seen A Charlie Brown Christmas, and I thought it was okay. I’m not big into Peanuts.

657. Are you ambidextrous (equally good at using both hands)?

Nope, I’m right handed. 658. Do you always say; “bless you” after someone sneezes, or do you hesitate?

Not always, but most of the time. 659. If you and your friends could go away for 2 days over Halloween weekend where would you go?

America, probably. I feel like Halloween in the US is intense. I’d love to go to one of those really fancy haunted houses. Don’t Universal have one each year? << Yes, we are super into Halloween here, it’s one of the few things about the states that I love! You can find crazy haunted houses just about anywhere. 660. Which of these animated movies have you seen and what did you think of them: Watership Down, As the Wind Blows, Grave of the Fireflies, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Spirited Away

How The Grinch Stole Christmas was missing something to it, but it was entertaining. And Spirited Away was fucking amazing. 661. Do you feel that society is male dominated, female dominated, or neutral?

Male dominated. 662. What words offend you?

Words don’t really offend me, actions do.

663. They’re just words. Can you get over it?

I said they didn’t bother me :) 664. Have you ever looked into different religions?

Buddhism and Judaism 665. Which ones have you looked into?

^ 666. What do you think of Satanism as a religion?

A lot of them are more chill than some Christians are...but I don’t really agree with them. 667. Do you like it better when your classes are taught sitting in rows or sitting in a circle?

It depends on the class. 668. Have you ever read your own tarot cards?

I have not. 669. Which ones do you like better, the three old star wars movies or the 2 new ones?

Old 670. If you scream in outer space does it make a sound?

No, I don’t believe so. But I could be wrong. 671. If you saw The Queen of the Damned did you want to be a vampire/Goth afterwards?

Haven’t seen it. 672. If you saw SLC Punk did you want to be punk afterwards?

Haven’t seen that either. 673. What is your favorite zombie movie?

21 Days Later! 674. Best kids birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater

Roller rink and sleep over 675. What were your parties like when you were a kid?

Small outdoor parties. Sometimes by the pool. 676. Best teen (about 15-16) birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert

House party or catered. 677. What are/were your 15-16 year old parties like?

Mine were always just dinner and a movie, but my wealthier friends would have big Sweet 16′s at like venues with catered food and DJ’s. 678. Best 18th birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert, club, pool hall, college party

College party. Because college was so cool to me as a high schooler hah.

679. If you are 18 what was your party like?

We went to Benihana’s and then the hookah bar

680. Best 21st birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert, club, pool hall, college party, bar, Atlantic city/Las Vegas trip

Las Vegas trip sounds pretty lit. <<<

681. If you saw The Craft were you interested in wicca/paganism/magic afterwards?

Haven’t seen it.

682. What are your top 3 priorities?

Mental health, relationships, school/work. <<

683. If you saw fight club did you want to get into a fistfight afterwards?

684. What is your favorite smell?

Coconut

685. Give everything below a humor rating (1 = laugh your ass off, 2 = lol, 3 = smile, 4 = lame, 5 = not funny, 6 = offensive): People falling

Rape jokes

Sarcastic comments

Blonde jokes

Dirty jokes

God/religion jokes

Long-ass jokes

Death jokes

Pain/sickness jokes 5

Animals doing cute stuff

Bodily functions

Knock jokes

Ethnic jokes

Puns

Ironic situations

685. If you saw Cruel Intentions did you want to have lots of meaningless sex afterwards?

No.

686. Do you get at least three hugs per day?

From the same person, yes.

687. What should someone never say to you/call you if they want to remain on your good side?

A cunt or a bitch? Lol

688. If you saw Trainspotting did you want to do drugs afterwards?

I haven’t seen trainspotting

689. Do movies have a great influence on you?

Sometimes

690. Do you have a favorite reality TV show?

Not anymore, I used to love reality TV back when I had cable though.

691. Are there certain roles that people are pressured to play in society or can they basically do whatever they want?

There are definitely roles in order to feel “accepted” or “normal”. It’s all bullshit.

692. How does the 2004 Dawn of the Dead remake compare to the original movie?

I don’t think I’ve seen either

693. Have you ever held a magnifying glass over an insect to burn it?

Nope, that’s kind of a creepy thing to do.

694. Have you ever pulled the wings off a fly, butterfly or any other insect?

695. What would you think of a guy (if you’re into guys) or a girl (if you’re into girls) who wanted to take you to the park to feed the birds and look at the turtles and fish in the water on a date?

I mean, sure.

696. Do you use public pools?

Yeah, but I prefer not to.

697. Do you use public bathrooms?

Yup.

698. Do you use public showers?

Yup.

699. How old will you be in 17 years?

41 years old 0_o

700. Would it effect you at all if you knew that a very large meteor was headed towards earth that would impact in 17 years?

Yeah, that would suck

#survey

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samanthasroberts · 6 years ago

Text

5 Common Things Hollywood Does That Instantly Kills A Story

Usually, the factors that pull you out of your focus on a movie or TV show are external. Someone forgets to silence their cellphone, or your mom asks you a question about the plot, or your date from OKCupid decides that a matinee showing of Dunkirk is the perfect time to start getting handsy. That kind of thing. But sometimes it isn’t the fault of the unforgiving world around you. Sometimes movies and shows do the job themselves and awkwardly tear you from your haze, placing you in the uncomfortable territory of “Oh damn. I am watching something, and am terrifyingly aware of that.” How do movies stealthily slit the throat of their own escapism? Well, they do things like …

Pausing For The Cameo Of A Big Star

Despite the fact that modern TV is full of quality entertainment that would make movies break out in frustrated, jealous tears, it still operates on the archaic system of “Movies are where important things go, and TV is where you watch inconsequential drivel that serves as a placeholder for actual enjoyment.” Don’t believe me? Look at how shows treat guest stars who are mostly known from movies or other mediums. They are in awe of them. The camera lingers on them, telling you that while the regular cast is nice and all, you should now place your undivided attention on the god king who has just entered the room.

I’m always down for a good lingering camera if the context is right. Jeff Goldblum is returning for Jurassic World 2, and I will be deeply disappointed if his introduction shot stays at Beautiful Jeff Goldblum Face Level for anything less than 20 uninterrupted minutes. The same goes for when a character has seemingly died but then comes back triumphantly. When Lex Luthor showed up in the last episode of Smallville to remind viewers that Superman’s future would not lack bald megalomaniacs, the camera seems to be more thrilled about this than anyone. And it probably was, honestly. Being a living, breathing Smallville fan was not, how should I put this, a “fulfilling” experience.

But the pause that might as well double as a “Clap Now” sign reeks of desperation, and rips away any chance to view what you’re watching as smooth, organic fiction. I don’t demand absolute reality from things. There is NO ONE in the world worse than someone who can’t put their malfunction behind them for two fucking seconds and just HAS TO remind you that no, Batman couldn’t do that in real life. Those people are fun traitors. But when the camera stops to gaze at the bigger star who is encroaching on the lives of the peons who normally inhabit the show, it’s not just stopping the flow of the episode dead; it’s reminding you that Hollywood has a definite hierarchy. A being of shining light and multiple movie deals has deemed this cast of characters worth their time, and we should feel blessed on their behalf.

Even worse is that usually, these guest stars are pretty damn talented. When Steve Carell left The Office, the employees spent a few episodes trying to find a replacement for him. This led to a parade of guest stars like Will Ferrell, Will Arnett, and Jim Carrey, and you’d think that comedy powerhouses like these, when supplied with jokes on one of the best-written sitcoms of the 2000s, would provide an avalanche of humor. Homes destroyed and families torn apart from the sheer magnitude of the fucking comedy. But no, they just kind of shuffled through the show as the camera jammed itself into their pores, as if to scream “ISN’T IT COOL THAT WE GOT WILL GODDAMN ARNETT TO BE ON THE OFFICE? ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR WILL ARNETT FOR LOWERING HIMSELF ENOUGH TO BE HERE.”

The Biggest Name Is Usually The Killer

Dramatic shows that have any number of “good guys” require guest stars to keep going. Unless the creators of Law & Order want every plot to be “Ice T was the killer all along, but we forgave him, because aww, just look at him,” they need new talent to fill out the ranks of serial killers, pedophiles, and bartenders who just might have seen someone who looks like that. But this necessity has created a painfully obvious trend: Whenever a big name shows up in a series, they’re going to be doing big-name stuff. And apparently, big-name stuff always involves ruining the surprise.

I’ve talked about Dexter in a few columns because, really, I’m still coming to terms with it. You devote eight years of your life to a show, and then it ends with the plot equivalent of a drunk pissing on your head from a third-story balcony. So you begin to think really hard about whether it was ever that good. And I’ve come to this conclusion: Yeah, it had some really great parts, but man, it had the worst “I wonder what THIS guest star will do?” poker face in the industry.

The first two seasons of Dexter tell a perfectly contained story. And then in Season 3, Jimmy Smits swaggers in with a kind of “I’d like to get a beer with that guy” charisma that only Jimmy Smits really has. But then Jimmy Smits turns into EVIL Jimmy Smits, and Dexter has to kill him. Then John Lithgow shows up in Season 4, and while he’s great, the pattern is being established. By the time Colin Hanks burst into Season 6 with a plotline so terrible that it served as a Dexter Is Not Going To Get Good Again trumpet of the cancellation apocalypse, the standard had been set: If a new dude shows up on Dexter, that dude is almost 100 percent going to end up as Dexter’s table dressing.

Obviously, if an established actor shows up on a prestige TV drama, they’re going to be given a role with some meat to it. When William Hurt or whoever inevitably shows up on the fifth season of Westworld, they’re not going to be given the role of Blowjob Robot Bartender #4. They’re going to get Maniacal Douche Who Was Super Integral To The Creation Of Westworld Who We Never Really Discussed Before. And them basically spelling out what’s going to happen in the rest of the season or episode doesn’t stop them from giving a knockout performance. It just momentarily stops us from getting lost in the show.

It’s also admitting that we’ve kind of pigeonholed what we think makes for good, guest-star-worthy roles. Someone with any kind of positive qualities? Pssssh. Demented Man Child That Makes Tiny Doll Furniture Out Of His Victim’s Toenails? You can basically smell the Emmys on that one.

Being Waaaaay Too Self-Aware

Having a sense of self-awareness can be helpful. It’s what prevents you from deciding that your show about six friends who live in New York City is a fresh idea, and it gives you a moment of hesitation when you think “A guy named Harry meets a girl named Sally. HOW HAS NO ONE COME UP WITH THAT?!?”

Even adding a little self-awareness to your story isn’t so bad if you do it in nice doses. The reason The Cabin In The Woods works so well is that it comments on horror film tropes, but doesn’t rely on that to be effective. Compare that to something like Scream 4, where hoping that you get the reference is all that that movie has going for it. The first two Scream films are neat little venture into the nature of horror movies and their sequels, but by the time Scream 4 rolled around, the series had looped back through its own butthole and out of its mouth again in order to prove that it was still relevant. And it wouldn’t have had to do that if it had done the basic job of a movie, instead of relying on blistering self-awareness.

Community at its best was a show with so, so much heart. The love that the writers had for the characters bleeds through, and it’s a passion project carefully disguised as a typical prime-time sitcom. And in its early seasons, the series pulled off self-awareness pretty effortlessly. And maybe it’s due to the fact that Community began to lose core cast members starting in the fifth season, and the last half of the show was plagued with a shuffling creative team, but the self-awareness which had initially set it apart from regular shows became a crutch. The emotional stakes were lost, and in their place were constant comments about the nature of TV, which is like hearing your cheeseburger explain its own ingredients while you try to eat it.

Even vague self-awareness can be jarring if it comes out of nowhere. Kingsman: The Secret Service is a fantastic movie when it’s not talking about the spy movies that it’s borderline-parodying. If that scene in which Colin Firth was taking out the church full of bigots was still going to this day, I’d be okay with it. And don’t act like there isn’t a version of “Freebird” that is three years long. I know there is.

But slapped in the middle of the movie is a conversation between Firth and Samuel L. Jackson about the nature of spy flicks, as if they’re assuming that the audiences that have not yet seen the movie are already a little “out of the know” about what it’s trying to do. Come on, movie. Give us some credit.

Music That Defies The Laws Of The Universe

Movie soundtracks can do two very different things. They can heighten an experience, pulling you into the film in the way that a music-less scene could never do. They get your blood pumping without you even knowing, and pretty soon you’re first-pumping by yourself in the theater and screaming that you’ll be forever young at the top of your lungs. Hey, you’re doing it too, not necessarily just me. But a soundtrack can also drop you on your head, revealing that the movie that you’re watching is just a big marketing ploy by people who have figured that since you like Iron Man AND Ed Sheeran, putting both in the same movie at the same time will result in a dump truck full of dollar bills and hookers showing up to their houses.

How does it drop you from your cradle? Well, for one, it can bend the laws of time and space, forcing you to question why anyone would make a movie this way. Take the movie Hitch, for example, wherein Will Smith teaches dudes to talk to women, and teaches YOU to be more careful about picking out which Will Smith movies you go see. He teaches Kevin James how to dance in one scene, but starts his lesson by shutting off the music that’s playing at a party in the future? Future humans were dancing to that song, Will. Don’t cut a hole in the continuum of time when a motherfucker is trying to get down.

Will then puts on the song “Yeah!”, which you might remember from it being more popular than oxygen in the mid 2000s. And then Kevin James dances to “Yeah!” both at Will’s house and at this future party. My problem doesn’t lie with the song “Yeah!” showing up at two different places at two different times, because, again, I’ve heard “Yeah!” more than I’ve heard the Pledge of Allegiance, the National Anthem, and “I love you” combined. It’s just that this scene is edited in a way that makes you realize A) Hitch is a wizard, and B) this movie is a shallow attempt at getting us to like the song “Yeah!” more.

And sometimes a movie will feature a song that’s performed by an actor in that movie. Like how Texas Chainsaw 3D plays the song “2 Reasons,” and one of the characters listening to it and enjoying it is Trey Songz, the guy who sang “2 Reasons.” That’s not a slight wink and a nudge, filmmakers. That’s a big invisible hand coming out of the screen to jar you out of whatever good things you might be feeling and reminding you to go download “2 Reasons,” because the actor who fucking made “2 Reasons” in real life seems to really be enjoying “2 Reasons” in this completely fake life. If you want to give the audience a cue to simultaneously begin ignoring the movie and start playing around on their phones for a little bit, this one is as good as any.

“Event” Episodes Where No One Is Happy To Be There

Earlier, I mentioned guest actors, and spoke pretty harshly of them. My apologies, guest actors. To make it up to you, the rest of this column will be written by John Stamos, and he will be playing the role of me. I make these amends because guest actors aren’t the worst things to take you out of TV shows. That honor goes to “event” episodes in which non-actors are given roles, and we’re supposed to be cool with it. “Suck it up,” your television says, “If it wasn’t for me, you’d be playing charades with people you pretend to like.”

The “events” I’m referring to are usually one of two things: musicians coming into town or pro wrestling events. And they’re so awkwardly crammed into the plots that you can’t help but feel your joy be driven from your body like a screeching ghost while you watch. Nothing says “No one wants to be here, especially the people on your screen” like a sitcom episode that features a rock star or a professional wrestler. For example, watch this clip of the time the band Anthrax showed up on Married With Children. But only do it if you want to see a dozen people lose their enthusiasm for the arts allllll at once.

If you watched that and found your sense of happiness to still be alive and breathing, watch Stevie Wonder’s appearance on The Cosby Show, the kind of thing that only happens when the Devil is handling God’s day shift. And if you still have any delusions about the positive power of fiction, dash them by staring into the abyss of any pro wrestler cameo on any sitcom ever — cameos that are usually announced by characters who are suddenly into wrasslin’. This, as a wrasslin’ fan, is absurd from the ground up. You don’t just suddenly declare that there’s a wrestling show near you and that you’re into wrestling. You are into wrestling, and your family and friends spend their whole lives wishing that you’d shut the fuck up about it.

These episodes usually involve either a member of the cast and their stunt doubles clumsily recreating what a sitcom director thinks wrestling is like (like in Fuller House or The X-Files), or finding a way to work the fact that most wrestlers are seven feet wide into the plot (like in Boy Meets World or Smallville). Admittedly, the wrestlers usually seem like they’re having a better time on the shows than musicians do. But nothing clips the wings of your flight into TV wonderland faster than the harsh introduction of pro wrestling logic into an otherwise normal show. “These five friends are on a mission to find success and love in the big city, and over the years, you will fall in love with their wit and their willingness to find pleasure in the small things in life. Oh, and meet their new landlord, Big Van Vader, who is roughly the size of a Woolly Mammoth.”

Daniel is listening to “Yeah!”, as it’s the only thing that drowns out the loneliness. He is a brittle husk of a man on Twitter.

It sucks that your friends are always ruining movies for you, but you won’t need friends anymore after you get the Amazon Fire stick with Alexa voice remote.

If you loved this article and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/5-common-things-hollywood-does-that-instantly-kills-a-story/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2019/01/08/5-common-things-hollywood-does-that-instantly-kills-a-story/

0 notes

adambstingus · 6 years ago

Text

5 Common Things Hollywood Does That Instantly Kills A Story

Pausing For The Cameo Of A Big Star

The Biggest Name Is Usually The Killer

Being Waaaaay Too Self-Aware

Music That Defies The Laws Of The Universe

“Event” Episodes Where No One Is Happy To Be There

Daniel is listening to “Yeah!”, as it’s the only thing that drowns out the loneliness. He is a brittle husk of a man on Twitter.

It sucks that your friends are always ruining movies for you, but you won’t need friends anymore after you get the Amazon Fire stick with Alexa voice remote.

If you loved this article and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-common-things-hollywood-does-that-instantly-kills-a-story/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/181849531207

0 notes

allofbeercom · 6 years ago

Text

5 Common Things Hollywood Does That Instantly Kills A Story

Pausing For The Cameo Of A Big Star

The Biggest Name Is Usually The Killer

Being Waaaaay Too Self-Aware

Music That Defies The Laws Of The Universe

“Event” Episodes Where No One Is Happy To Be There

Daniel is listening to “Yeah!”, as it’s the only thing that drowns out the loneliness. He is a brittle husk of a man on Twitter.

It sucks that your friends are always ruining movies for you, but you won’t need friends anymore after you get the Amazon Fire stick with Alexa voice remote.

If you loved this article and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-common-things-hollywood-does-that-instantly-kills-a-story/

0 notes

trendingnewsb · 7 years ago

Text

5 Common Things Hollywood Does That Instantly Kills A Story

Pausing For The Cameo Of A Big Star

The Biggest Name Is Usually The Killer

Being Waaaaay Too Self-Aware

youtube

Music That Defies The Laws Of The Universe

youtube

“Event” Episodes Where No One Is Happy To Be There

youtube

Daniel is listening to “Yeah!”, as it’s the only thing that drowns out the loneliness. He is a brittle husk of a man on Twitter.

It sucks that your friends are always ruining movies for you, but you won’t need friends anymore after you get the Amazon Fire stick with Alexa voice remote.

If you loved this article and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.