#god I want to go to Canada so bad and just be out in nature

[colapopppart]

Late Langa birthday art!!! I think this is the first time I’ve made a finished drawing of him that actually looks like him lmao

anyway i love birds and i love it when artists give characters wings, so i thought id do my due diligence and give wings to the Sk8 boys!! I’m thinking of doing a knew one on all of their birthdays :D Anyways Langa is a Canada Jay because of course he is why wouldn’t he be? It’s actually perfect for him. Canada Jays are very curious, and are big eaters who will eat a wide variety of foods, from seeds to literal small animals. and they hoard food (with their saliva sticking it to trees what), likely to store for winter when they would have a harder time finding it! Like cmon it was too perfect they even have his color scheme of black and white!

here’s a photo of what they look like:

[thesharktanksdriver]

Voices (Platonic)

From as early as you could remember you never felt truly alone in this world

Even after being left with no parents

Just only as yourself against this great big world you

A young kid without a cent to your name nor a home to go to

Just the open land and the small towns you’d end up staying at for momentary rest

Despite all the odds set against you

Despite the fact your should’ve been dead within the month you were left to die

You persevered

You survived

With only the help of yourself and the voices in your head that would advise you of what to do

As odd as that sounds the voices had been the closest thing you’d had to Friends and a family

The chorus of them telling you how to survive

That you need to ration food, that not clear water was to be avoided when you needed a drink, scavenge for food

There were many of them in the depths of your mind

All of which sounded distinct yet melded together into a symphony

But out of the sea of them one always stuck out from the rest

The others would quiet when he spoke, a deep yet relaxed voice that would echo

He’d speak only a few times when the others were indecisive, but when he did there was a certain air to it

He was the leader of them

His opinion was final to them as was your own on the subject you needed help on

Though his options could be…less law abiding than they probably should be it was for your sake

So your follow his suggestions to get by

You travel from place to place

Going to the west coast in the winter

Traveling everywhere else when summer and spring rolled around

It wasn’t easy but that was your life

Living off the land and mother natures resources

You’d push though the hours from sunrise to sunset

Falling asleep as they sing you lullabies within the confines of your mind

Cooing at how adorable you looked as you curled up under some scraps of cloth

Looking up towards the stars as the leader of them told you myths of their creation

How the constellations that had guided your way had stories tied to them

Like Orion forget hunting Ursa Major in the night sky

Life is strenuous but it is worth it to survive

You end up in yet another town on your travels after grabbing some apples from an orchard

They leave a sweet coating of juice in your mouth as you duck into an alleyway for shade

The voices (whom at this point told to you to call them “chat”) talking within your mind

Spouting out small ideas of what to do next as you take a swig of water

You’d found a flask a couple weeks back from an old drunkard

He was passed out so you took it as your own

Washed it out and replacing it with water on the suggestion of chat

Apparently the amber liquid stored in it wasn’t good for you

“So where to next?”

“ I say we go to cali” “nah I say Canada” “oh, oh! What about Kansas” “New York?” “Eh, unless you want them to be stabbed the minute they arrive” “hey New York isn’t that bad, it’s Chicago you have to worry about” “average New Yorker L” “oh screw off-“

“Heading to San Diego should be a focus for us. It’s getting colder and it’ll take awhile to get there”

The others quiet down hearing the voice whom called himself “Techno” speak

Then erupting in murmured agreements making you nod

You get up from sitting on a nearby box when you suddenly hear something

Shouting along with the scream of a woman

Despite the protests of chat you stalk further into the alley

Picking up a stray beer bottle as you peak out from behind a corner

There’s a man with his back facing you, in ragged clothes as he holds a woman with what seems to be a knife pointed at her

Across from him is a man, presumably her husband with long golden locks that curled at the ends

He’s glaring at the mugger, before his eyes fall on you

Your eyes are trained on the man holding the woman hostage

The broken bottle in your hand feeling lighter as you feel a feeling wash over you

Blood

You wanted- no NEEDED blood

Blood for the blood god is changed in your head as you see red

Everything is a blur

One moment your gripping the broken bottle about to help the lady and the next your standing over the injured form of the mugger

Blood splattered on your face and hands as the lady you saved and her husband kneel down and look at your worriedly

Curious, no one except the voices had ever expressed care for you

Others would look at you in disdain and anger for just existing

Yet these obviously well off couple are wiping the blood off your face

“Dear lord are you ok?! Funny! Should we get them to a doctor?”

“Ill go get one and try to find their parents-“

“I don’t have those, also I don’t really have the money for a doctor. Thanks for the offer though”

They both go silent at that, staring at you with confusion that morphs into horror

“So your saying your an orph-“

“Nononono, I am NOT and orphan.” You pause for a moment thinking of how to phrase is before responding back with “I’m just a child without any adult figures in their life left to fend on their own. I’m not a blood sucking orphan, there’s a difference” Via the suggestion of one of the voices

Honestly for them to even suggest that makes the voices get all rowdy in your head

Calling the two “plebs” and mumbling “common L”

You swear if you weren’t used to this you’d have a migraine by now

Both look at you even more worried

Glancing back to one another before the woman offers you a hand

Your hesitant to take it but decided to do so when they offer to take you in

An opportunity you knew you couldn’t pass up

The couple you now formally knew as scarlet and Funny Valentine take you in as their own after this encounter

It’s weird for you at first

For all your life you had to fight for everything

Food, water and clothes were luxuries you barely came across

At night you’d almost freeze and in the days you’d be baked alive by the sun

So now having all resources without so much as a word is confusing

It’s certainly nice…but still something you need to get used to

Both Scarlet and Finny are understanding though

They seem to know that this a process for you

And are understanding when you don’t initially trust them or seem confused when they tell you to have a brush your hair in the morning

You can’t eat a lot at first, your body not being able to handle it

It’s still hard getting used to having a full stomach rather than empty on the point of collapse

Funny is especially empathetic though

Handing you the foods in which you desire as you take small nibbles

Slowly and slowly filling yourself up and upping the amounts you eat as time progresses

Chat helps ease you into this as well, telling you to take things slowly

Telling you when to up the proportions slightly as your meals get bigger

In this time you find yourself often talking to the man whom had taken you in

His conversations with you are warm-hearted

Often tinged in a certain sweetness as he sits beside you on the countertop

Munching down on an apple as you talked of the stories told to you

Odysseus and his journey home

The fate of Jason and the karma of it

Or the tragedy of Orpheus and Eurydice

To your surprise he finds himself interested as you regale these tales

No one but chat had ever really listened to you

So you enjoy these small moments with him as he tells his own

Particularly of his father and philosophy of the napkin analogy that he uses on a day to day basis

You grow into a routine and the normality of your new home

Fresh meals, hot baths and comfortable clothes

Being able to have the privilege to be able to say you have a loving set of parents

One’s who helped you with your education and let you run free

A year or two later you began gardening after seeing the large estate seeming rather empty

Just an empty lot of greenery, not even used for flowers

Scarlet and Funny let you begin your garden that slowly grows in size

You grow many vegetables and Berries but more specifically potato’s

Techno had extensive knowledge due to something he called the “potato war”

So your in particularly good hands when you begin to grow the crop

It is during that time that you begin to see a figure

It starts off as small glances at first

In the corner of your eyes as a translucent figure momentarily catches it

But then you see it…well rather him more consistently

Until finally one night you fully interact with the figure

It’s another late night that you find yourself laying awake in bed

It is dark yet your not afraid

You were used to pitch darkness by now, your eyes adjusted to the lack of light letting you get up and navigate out your room

The long hallways creaking quietly beneath the weight of your footsteps

Wool socks cushioning the sound ever so slightly as you sneak through the olds halls

By now you know the house by heart

Knowing where all the loose floorboards are and how the last step of the stairs bended too much into the hardwood ground so you had to be slightly careful

You end up in the kitchen like usual

Picking up a small snack of an orange

Turning around to see the figure

Long pink hair, a crown placed upon his head, red cape lined with soft fur and a mask of a pig

Tusks poking out giving him a more intimidating look

Your hand grabs a nearby knife holding it out to him defensively

“Easy kiddo, it’s just me”

Your eyes widen at that familiar voice as Chat begins yelling in your mind

“Holy shit!” “Plot twist of the century” “look at him! Our boy!” “Damn he be looking stylish” “the drip fr” “the blood god and the blood messiah”

“Blood messiah?”

“Yeah…so here’s the deal kid”

He tells you about how he is what’s called the “blood god” and that your his “blood messiah” or aka his chosen human to carry his power/his apprentice of sorts

It makes sense to you now why he taught you so much growing up

“What’s with chat though?”

“Eh, their just a package deal with me unfortunately. Like an extra freebie in a deal”

“Bruh did we just be called an extra” “L” “the disrespect”

“Shut up guys, we can still hear you all”

As his blood messiah you are gifted his strength along with his guidance

But with that comes the price of those perks

To use his power you needed blood of some sort, and with that came a bloodlust that will occasionally overwhelm you

A small price to pay for his power

“So when that mugger…”

“Yeah that was a taste of it. Not the best thing to deal with, but I’m gonna teach you to deal with it”

“So uh…what now?”

“Focus on you, What you want in the moment. Some big stuff is happening, war and death brewing as we speak. So you have to make use of the time you have now to enjoy life, be a kid”

You nod, watching as he smiles and ruffles your hair

“There’s a lot you need to learn but for now we’ll take it slow.”

“Alright”

“Chin up kid, don’t let your crown fall”

After saying this he flicks your forehead and disappears

His laughter filling your mind as your left staring in the spot he once stood

Moonlight casting a dim glow in the kitchen

A week after this occurred you end up asking at dinner if you could have horseback lessons

It is out of nowhere and it leaves both your parents stunned for a moment before both eagerly with excitement assure you that your more than welcome to do so

You’d never really asked for much whilst in their care

Clothes and toys never on your list of wants

Hell, it took a whole interrogation for them to try and figure out that you like books

Most specifically (and somewhat oddly) the art of war

So having you just openly ask for something is a big thing for your parents

A day later Funny and Scarlet are taking you out to a ranch with several horses lined up in their stables

You make a B-line towards the end of the stables to find a lone horse

An Andalusian, with a mainly grey coat that has speckles of black and a light coloured mane

A beautiful stallion that seems to call out to you

“You sure you want her?, she’s not the most cooperative”

“Even better. She has stubbornness, I like that”

The man gives you an odd look but shrugs as you enter her stall

She’s even more beautiful up close

And her personality is more apparent when the horse gives a loud gust of a sigh out her nose

You have a feeling she’s the perfect choice

The next coming months you slowly learn the basics of horseback along with getting to know the mare who was named “cure”

At first the horse was resistant to the idea of letting you be her rider

And there were many scuffles that had left your bruised and bloodied

None of which phased you and just left you with a smile as you whipped away the blood

But with the course of time she began to warm up to you

Because you hadn’t saw her as below you

You were her equal

For as rider and steed there had to be mutual respect of each other

It is gradual but you get better

Get more comfortable with Cure running to her hearts content

Techno and the voices once again help with some tips

The blood god talking of his own steed named Carl who resided within his realm

Her saddle was exclusively for you and neither of you would have it any other way

Riding her and feeling the wind scrap across your face was a feeling you now didn’t know how to live without

Watching you speed past the other horses as she jumps over a fence and just keeps going

It turns out to be something that Funny and Scarlet end up watching as you blindly smile

It is perhaps one of the happiest they’d seen you

Just running free as you were so many years ago

You are happy and content

But that can’t last forever

Especially as your father brews something

It comes to you like a slap to the face when he reveals he’s gonna run for president

The voices, but especially Techno rousing in anger as he talks of his plans to run the country

You couldn’t help excuse yourself as the yelling in your head caused a small migraine

For all your life till this point Techno had taught you of how power pollutes

That anarchy was better than government because of the factor that no one person was in power

It couldn’t fall into a dictatorship is no one was in charge

That these appointed leaders thought themselves to be god and looked down on their subjects

Until they are brought down from their pedestal via a guillotine

It leaves you conflicted because this was your father

The one who had taken you in when no one else would

Feed, clothed and made sure you had a roof over your head

The man who proudly proclaimed that you were his child despite no blood being shared between the two of you

A man who smiled proudly when you rode atop Cure and worried himself to death when the horse stubbornly bucked you off her back

Your left conflicted

It only gets worse as his campaign is seeming to prove successful with the people

Whilst your left to try and act happy for him despite the yelling in your mind

It is a difficult time for you, more difficult than your early years on the streets

Cause at least then there wasn’t the emotional turmoil you felt ripping apart your insides

There wasn’t the divide between your morals of hating government and loving your dad

You hope he somehow doesn’t win but no god answers your prayer

At his inauguration your left standing near him and Scarlet

An empty reserved smile plastered on your face as you hold back tears

The voice shave stopped screaming

They are remorseful as is Techno who try to comfort you when seeing you break down internally

Your heart fighting against your mind

Being left in a stalemate, a limbo of confusion

You try to spend more time with mom after that, using the excuse of not wanting to bother your dad

It works but there’s a noticeable sadness you see in his eyes when you excuse yourself from his presence

Scarlet is more than happy to spend time with you though

She takes you shopping with her

Buying you the latest blouses of your desire along with jewelry that catches your eye

Apparently due to Techno you have some weird fascination with gold, something he says has transferred to you

With spending time out with her though you begin to notice how her eyes linger

You know for a fact she loves your dad

But you see her looking intently at women

A stare that not of just of the friendly type

No, it’s deep and intense

Tinted with a undertone of something else that you don’t wish to think of

Her seeming attraction is none of your business though

So you ignore it and spend time with her at cafe’s as squads of guards flock to your sides

Not knowing you were likely the most dangerous person in the room

You find it annoying to now constantly have people flanking you whoever you went

The guards themselves are fine but you wanted to be alone when planting potatoes

Or riding Cure

Well…at least your potato business has been booming as of late due to your dad

But that leaves a bit of a bitter taste in your mouth that people are NOW interested in your delicious crops

Damn trend hoppers

In the house during the late nights you find yourself now more restless than usual

That feeling of bloodlust that was managers now getting worse and worse as time progressed

Sometimes it was bad enough you found yourself on occasionally blacking out and finding yourself standing in the kitchen or by your dads office

It leaves you terrified

So terrified that your mom seemingly caught on and your dad one day asked if you were alright

You say that you are but you really aren’t

He can see through the lie as clear as day

He’s left somewhat hurt, offering you help that you vehemently deny

The bags beneath your eyes only seem to get worse as the days progress

Yet another restless night your left awake

The gnawing hunger for blood feeling as if it were pulsating within your veins

Just the thought of crimson makes it worse

The feeling of the hunger not going away

“Kid just focus on me. Gets some fresh air, alright?”

Techno’s translucent form appears once more

He’d been doing that more often but never in front of anyone else

Apparently there were people called “stand users” who could possibly hear and see him

He didn’t want to risk that

“O-ok”

You stumble out your room

Hand scraping against the wallpaper as your walk past several familiar doors

There’s darkness expert for a sliver of light coming out from the door of your dads office

…strange he’s usually not awake at 4 am even though he’s been staying up later than usual

You end up highjacking your original goal and heading for his door

Being careful not to hit any loose floorboards as you listen to him speaking…to himself?

You can hear his speaking aloud and his voice also responding back

It leaves you confused along with Techno and the voices who all chime in with the thought of him being crazy or cracking under the pressure

But you know your dad well enough to know it isn’t either

You decide to bend down and stare through the keyhole

“Do you think this could really work?”

“It has to, plus it’s more convenient as a cover story. People interfering can be eliminated and be written off as weather conditions or incompetence.”

“There will be people watching though”

“It’ll get the countries spirits up. Things will only get better when we get the corpse parts, it’s only uphill from here”

There in the office is two versions of your father conversing with one another

Oblivious to your spying as your left shocked at whatever the fuck This revelation was

“Stand user, and it doesn’t sound like he has something good planned if I’m honest”

Techno’s words seem to reverberated in your mind

As your left jaw agape just staring

No, your father was a kind man

He would never-

“Sacrifices will likely need to be made. I’m willing to make them though for the greater good of my country, for my family”

You feel sick, stomach swirling as you walk back

And then you step on a creaky board

You hear both of them still whatever conversation that we’re having

Your left momentarily frozen as the door opens

Whatever hostility in his eyes fades, they soften at the sight of you

“Dear are you ok? What are you doing up so late? You need sleep, those bags under your eyes are worrying me and your mom”

Time to bullshit your way out of this

“I…I had a nightmare. I went to get my mind off it and saw you were awake so..”

He gives a soft smile, ushering you in

You do so with some hesitance as he guides you to the plush seat his clone? Was sitting on earlier

“What was it about?”

You pause to think of an answers after a moment

“You”

His eyes widen ever so slightly before he presses and asks “what exactly about me?”

“I…had a dream that you changed. That when you became president you weren’t the same person, that you became…” you Try to find the right word “corrupted”

His eyes become gentle once more as he ushers you into a hug

It is warm and you wish to revel in it more

His hand weaving it’s way into rubbing a comforting motion of circles into your scalp

“You have nothing to fear. Nothing like that would ever happen, because I do, I do for you and our people”

Perhaps that is what scares you the most in this situation

The lengths he would go in doing what he believed was right even if he couldn’t see the harm he was truly doing

It was a pipeline

A downward spiral he would not see

It sets in motion what you know that you need to do

You enjoy in the last time you’d likely feel the warmth of his hug

For in the morning you’d be gone before they even knew it

You had to stop whatever he had planned

[world-cinema-research]

Carrie (1976) Movie Essay

By Aiden McKinney

Carrie (1976) was Stephen King’s first published novel and a year later, was the first of his to be adapted into a film. With the creative direction of Brian De Palma, Carrie brought life back to the horror genre and has become a cult classic. In fact, five years after the release of the film, King complemented the filmmaker's work:

"De Palma's approach to the material was lighter and more deft than my own—and a good deal more artistic ... The book seems clear enough and truthful enough in terms of the characters and their actions, but it lacks the style of De Palma's film. The book attempts to look at the ant farm of high school society dead on; De Palma's examination of this 'High School Confidential' world is more oblique ... and more cutting.” 

The movie stars Sissy Spacek as an overly shy and self conscious high school senior who doesn’t have a friend in the world. In fact, she is an outcast with an overbearing, abusive, mentally unstable, religious fanatic for a mother. Margaret White fears everything is a sin in the eyes of the Lord, especially anything remotely provocative, sexual in nature, or regarding the female anatomy and its physicality. She is so out of touch, that she never taught Carrie about a woman’s menstrual cycle. When Carrie suddenly gets her first period in the shower after P.E. in school, she is absolutely horrified and scared to death. Reaching out to her classmates for help, the girls only laugh at her and throw feminine hygiene products at her. The bullying only gets worse for Carrie, who begins to realize she has telekinetic powers. She can move objects with the power of her mind This, of course, only makes her more of an outcast. To better prepare for the role, Sissy Spacek isolated herself from the rest of the cast during production. “In a 2013 interview with Vulture, co-star P.J. Soles recalled how on "the first or second day, Sissy came over to a group of us, maybe at lunch, I don’t remember, and said, ‘I love you guys, we’re going to have a great shoot, I’m very excited to be working on this. But I just want to let you guys know, I’m going to alienate myself from you. I want to feel that alienation. But I really like you and afterwards we’ll party and we’ll have a great time. But don’t take it personally. I just want to let you know I’m doing it on purpose because I want to get into the part.’ We all really respected her for that, and that made us even more eager and able to be as mean as we could to her, because we knew it was going to help her." (Facts about Carrie- Mental Floss) 

It also makes her mother believe that Carrie is the spawn of the Devil, as she was conceived in a moment of impulsive promiscuity, prior to marriage. Margaret White has a monologue that explains her moment of weakness:

Carrie: It was bad, Mama. They laughed at me. Hold me, Mama. Please hold me.

Margaret White: I should've killed myself when he put it in me. After the first time, before we were married, Ralph promised never again. He promised, and I believed him. But sin never dies. Sin never dies. At first, it was all right. We lived sinlessly. We slept in the same bed, but we never did it. And then, that night, I saw him looking down at me that way. We got down on our knees to pray for strength. I smelled the whiskey on his breath. Then he took me. He took me, with the stink of filthy roadhouse whiskey on his breath, and I liked it. I liked it! With all that dirty touching of his hands all over me. I should've given you to God when you were born, but I was weak and backsliding, and now the Devil has come home. We'll pray.

Carrie: Yes.

Margaret White: We'll pray. We'll pray. We'll pray for the last time. We'll pray.

Youtube Carrie trailer

The movie trailer covers quite a bit of the film, but it also gives a genuine vibe and  creepy feeling of the film. 

Box office

Budget

$1,800,000 (estimated)

Gross US & Canada

$33,800,000

Gross worldwide

$33,801,936

Carrie was a box office success both in numbers and in Academy Award nominations. Nominated for two Academy Awards, one for Best Actress (Spacek) and Best Supporting Actress (Laurie). This is notable, since the horror genre is not ordinarily recognized at the Academies, especially since Saturn Awards launched in 1972 to honor films of science fiction, fantasy and horror.

Original review from Roger Ebert in which he praises director Brian De Palma for creating a horror film that doesn’t rely on the gore and violence of a typical horror film. De Palma focuses on characterization and the reality that Carrie is a teenage girl who everyone can possibly relate to, at least once in their lives.

“I wouldn't want to spoil the movie's climax for you by even hinting at what happens next. Just let me say that "Carrie" is a true horror story. Not a manufactured one, made up of spare parts from old Vincent Price classics, but a real one, in which the horror grows out of the characters themselves.The scariest horror stories -- the ones by M.R. James, Edgar Allan Poe, and Oliver Onions -- are like this. They develop their horrors out of the people they observe. That happens here, too. Does it ever.”

 Roger Ebert Carrie 1976 

Carrie is a conventional film with unconventional technical aspects. There is a central character, Carrie, and she experiences conflict (so much conflict) who has a goal. There are antagonists (so many antagonists) who stand in the way of her goal. The cinematography is unconventional, in the sense that De Palma used unusual camera angles and motions that translate different emotions and feelings in different scenes. For example, at the Prom, Carrie and Tommy are dancing and the camera is spinning around them as they are spinning, creating a sense of euphoria and confusion, at the same time. 

youtube.com Carrie dance scene 

The movie Carrie subscribes to Hofstede’s Cultural Dimension of High Restraint. Carrie is raised by an overly religious mother who controls her and tries to keep Carrie from breaking from her strict upbringing and expressing herself in her own way.

Historical Events

United States - First Space Shuttle

NASA unveils the first space shuttle, the Enterprise.

More Information for the first space shuttle

NASA unveiled the first space shuttle, the Enterprise, to the public during September of 1976. The Enterprise was only a prototype created to conduct test flights and the official launch of the Space Shuttle Program did not occur until April of 1981 with the launch of the Columbia. The Enterprise weighed about 150,000 pounds and cost nearly $10 billion to create. While the first space shuttle never actually made it into space, it did become the first of the space shuttles to fly during a test in the following year after it was unveiled.

Jimmy Carter defeats incumbent Gerald Ford in 1976 Presidential election.

Britannica 1976 Presidential election 

[wishing-stones]

So about type match ups....

So I'm a burnt out 'do everything for everyone oh God I gotta fix this issue' type person. I'm a creative but I've not found time for any art anymore. I like to cook when I have energy, I think I have a decent voice, I read a LOT. Books are a confort. I'm not exactly pretty, but I clean up pretty well. I've got some pretty bad trauma that's resulted in being jumpy a lot.

I'm a good friend, LOVE LOVE horror movies (and some romcoms, sue me lmao), love just taking road trips, just being in nature makes me happy. Unless it's like boiling out T.T. (northern Canada native, give me the cold)

Ive had a lot of failed relationships. I dont know why, im always the breakup-ee, if that makes sense. I just want someone that I really connect with, someone who's not just a boyfriend, but a best friend. Idealistic but not realistic, I know.

You like horror movies and like to read? Hi, meet your new prospective partner Nightmare. He actively encourages you to find whatever sparks your interest to breathe new life into your creativity again, and will relegate tasks to other people so that you have time for your art. He doesn't fancy himself much of a chef, but he can cook... kind of. But... that passion means you get along well with at least one of his boys which is also a bonus.

You read, and he loves that. Have you seen his library? No? He'll show you. And... if you're jumpy around him, or he spooks you somehow, he's gentle and patient and tries his best to make sure it doesn't happen again. He's also good at just... making that fear or pain vanish. Won't solve the root of the problem, but it helps make the physical ramifications less of an issue to deal with.

Despite his tendency to like to stay put, he does enjoy being outdoors and is glad to go on outings to other AUs for little nature walks. His garden is always open for you to go sit in and enjoy, but be mindful to look and never touch-- everything in it could either kill you, has thorns, stings, or is otherwise unpleasant for a human to handle. You also have good company in 'I don't like it if it's too hot' because he's solid black. He gets grumpy in high temperatures.

Humans are demanding and generally terrible at communicating their needs, on the whole. You don't have to worry about that with Nightmare, he makes his displeasure (and pleasure) known. A good intrapersonal relationship with him is a hard prerequisite to any romantic relationship, so you get both the bf abbreviations.

...And he might or might not encourage you to jumpscare the boys with him if everyone's watching a horror movie together.

Cross is a good runner up here, he's great with trauma, enjoys your hobbies (even if he's not as bookish,) and likes being outdoors, too. He's... just kind of standoffish and doesn't communicate well, which might well be a cause of frustration.

[ditchwaterwitchery]

1. Are you solitary or in a coven?

I’m solitary. I often practice with or share rituals with my practicing friends and housemates, but I’ve had extremely bad second-hand experiences with covens and 

2. Do you consider yourself  Wiccan, Pagan, witch, or other?

Is a pagan witch really that extra? 

3. What is your zodiac sign?

Aries/Cancer/Leo

4. Do you have a Patron God/dess?

Not… really? I have deities I favor, those I work with often, but I worship too many deities to really go 'I love this one the most!' Historically that has not gone well for the human so I worship with as much equity as possible. 

5. Do you work with a Pantheon?

Yes. 

6. Do you use tarot, palmistry, or 
any other kind of divination?

I do use tarot and other cartomancy, runes, Ogham, candle-gazing, basically whatever takes me on the day. I definitely favor divinatory magics. 

7. What are some of your favorite herbs to use in your practice? (if any)

Rosemary and mint, honestly. Lavender and juniper are also used quite a lot, but I'll put rosemary into literally whatever because I equate it with a little kick of power and I'm never confident enough in my power that I'll turn up my nose at a lil boost, and mint has childhood memories of soothing or calming so I use it for spell aftercare. 

8. How would you define your craft?

I'm a ditchwater witch. I use what I have, whether or not its 'icky'. I collect what people might consider scum and turn it back into something beautiful. I surge after the rain and dwindle away into nothing when I'm not of use. My craft is for finding purpose for unwanted things. 

9. Do you curse? If not, do you accept others who do?

I sure do. 

10. How long have you been practicing?

Formally? Since 2014. But my heart has always been in the earth. 

11. Do you currently or have you ever had any familiars? 

No. 

12. Do you believe in Karma or
Reincarnation?

Not specifically. I believe in past lives, absolutely. Energy has to go somewhere. 

13. Do you have a magical name?

I mean, all names are magical names, but not a specific one, no. 

14. Are you “out of the broom closet”?

Oh very. I was never really in it, tbh. I just went straight to losing all my family and friends because I didn't want to be Catholic anymore. 

15. What was the last spell you performed?

Protection and rejuvenation for a friend. 

16. Would you consider yourself knowledgeable?

No, I'm a student. 

17. Do you write your own spells?

Pretty much exclusively. I've never met a spell I didn't tweak heavily, even my own. 

18. Do you have a book of shadows?
If so, how is it written and/or set up? 

I have grimoirë? Over a dozen notebooks I've compiled, rewritten, and reconstructed over the years and consult almost daily. 

19. Do you worship nature? 

That seems to be everyone's favorite gateway, yes. 

20. What is your favorite gemstone?

Luminous stones from Breath of the Wild, lol.

Amethyst, seriously. Its been my favorite since a grandparent brought me a hunk from Canada when I was a child. 

21. Do you use feathers, claws, fur, pelt, skeletons/bones, or any other animal body part for magical work?

Oh boy do I. 

22. Do you have an altar?

4 of them.  

23. What is your preferred element?

My edgy gut wanted to answer fire but I work with earth the most, gotta respect the mother. 

24. Do you consider yourself an Alchemist?

I am not smart or scary enough for alchemy. 

25. Are you any other type of magical practitioner besides a witch?

No, I like witch/pagan (yes I know they are not interchangeable, but they are for my practice).

26. What got you interested in witchcraft?

My friend told me I reminded them of a witch and I was flattered. A decision to research just put the nails in the coffin. 

27. Have you ever performed a spell or ritual with the company of anyone who was not a witch?

Sure. 

28. Have you ever used ouija?

No, but I've been looking for one that I like that isn't expensive. May end up making one so I know the provence of the pieces. 

29. Do you consider yourself a psychic?

Sure. 

30. Do you have a spirit guide? If so, what is it?

My great grandfather. He taught me how to pray and how to love the deity(is) you worship and how to serve the earth while he was on the earth, and now he guides my hands. 

31. What is something you wish someone had told you when you first started?

You don't need anything other than yourself to be a witch. 

32. Do you celebrate the Sabbats? If so which one is your favorite?

No, but Bealtaine is my favorite. 

33. Would you ever teach witchcraft to your children?

I won't be having children, but I will teach my friends'. 

34. Do you meditate?

No. Its painful for me. 

35. What is your favorite season?

Autumn 

36. What is your favorite type of magick to preform?

Divination. I like understanding why. 

37. How do you incorporate your spirituality into your daily life? 

I use tarot every day, I pray, I cook, I breathe. All of it is spiritual. All of it is sacred. 

38. What is your favorite witchy movie?

I don't have one

39. What is your favorite witchy book, both fiction and non-fiction. Why?

Seanan McGuire's October Daye series is my current favorite magical fiction. Rev. Lora O'Brien's Practical Guide to Pagan Priesthood is my favorite nonfiction.

I read Seanan McGuire when I want to remember why ritual is important to my outSIDE of the Clerical Brainwashing. I read the Reverend when I want to know how, and that I'm allowed to want this. 

40. What is the first spell you ever preformed? Successful or not. 

Oh, I cursed one of my abusers. 

41. What’s the craziest witchcraft-related thing that’s happened to you? 

I'm still surprised when anything works, honestly. A lifetime of Catholic impotism really ran a number on my head and it's still surprising when someone hears my prayers. 

42. What is your favourite type of candle to use?

One I've made. 

43. What is your favorite witchy tool?

My bead weaving loom. 

44. Do you or have you ever made your own witchy tools?

I do, yeah. I tend to be of the opinion that something works best for the hands that made it. 

45. Have you ever worked with any magical creatures such as the fea or spirits?

Yep. 

46. Do you practice color magic?

Not really. Sometimes when I'm making candles, but not often. 

47. Do you or have you ever had a witchy teacher or mentor of any kind?

No. I'm… wary of teachers. 

48. What is your preferred way of shopping for witchcraft supplies?

Shopping for the ingredients to make those supplies. 

49. Do you believe in predestination or fate?

Sometimes. My faith in fate is shaky, but there have been times a person or thing was too timely to discount. 

50. What do you do to reconnect   when you are feeling out of touch with your practice? 

I read, mostly. Its the best thing to rekindle my whimsy and drive to do. 

51. Have you ever had any supernatural experiences?

Absolutely. 

52. What is your biggest witchy pet peeve?

Stinky incense. 'sandalwood' my ass. 

53. Do you like incense? If so what’s your favorite scent?

Oh, hi. I was just talking about you. I like Celtic blend church incense. 

54. Do you keep a dream journal of any kind?

I've tried, but my ADHD hates journaling. 

55. What has been your biggest witchcraft disaster?

I consider losing my entire family and many of my friends to be disastrous, but nothing correlated to my spellcasting or anything. 

56. What has been your biggest witchcraft success?

Self confidence. 

57. What in your practice do you do that you may feel silly or embarrassed about?

I've always like crossing myself. I turned the sign of the cross into a pentagram and I use it when I need to, but I don't want anyone to see me doing it. 

58. Do you believe that you can be an atheist, Christian, Muslim or some other faith and still be a witch too?

Absolutely. 

59. Do you ever feel insecure, unsure or even scared of spell work?

No. 

60. Do you ever hold yourself to a standard in your witchcraft that you feel you may never obtain?

Yes. 

61. What is something witch related that you want right now?

Like 400 tarot decks, a 3d printer, and my goddamn hat back. 

62. What is your rune of choice?

Ansuz

63. What is your tarot card of choice?

The Star

64. Do you use essential oils? If so what is your favorite?

A lovely cardamom cedar blend. 

65. Have you ever taken any kind of witchcraft or pagan courses?

No, the ones I can afford are too hard for my mental illnesses to pay attention to. My learning tends to have to be done hands-on. 

66. Do you wear pagan jewelry in public?

Remember those bones you asked after about 45 questions ago? 

67. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your faith or being a witch? 

I was diagnosed with 'religious delusions' by my former therapist, as an example.

68. Do you read or subscribe to any pagan magazines?

No. I'd like to. 

69. Do you think it’s important to know the history of paganism and witchcraft?

Yes???? At least a little? So we don't have 'daughters of the witches you didn't burn' memes. 

70. What are your favorite things about being a witch?

Oh gods, everything. I'm in religious euphoria for the first time in my life I feel like a new man every day. 

71. What are your least favorite things about being a witch?

Knowing that if I do the work I'll feel better. I just want to rest my hurts on my best day, and showing up for my responsibilities is fucking impossible on my worst. 

72. Do you listen to any pagan music? If so who is your favorite singer/band?

I fell in love with Heather Dale years ago, and she's remained a constant. 

73. Do you celebrate the Esbbats? If so, how?

The esbats are wiccan iirc. I don't follow wicca. 

74. Do you ever work skyclad?

No thank you. 

75. Do you think witchcraft has improved your life? If so, how?

Absolutely. It made me want to live my life. 

76. Where do you draw inspiration from for your practice?

What, like Pinterest boards?  I just do things, this is not an aesthetic I'm trying to achieve. 

77. Do you believe in ‘fantasy’ creatures? (Unicorns, fairies, elves, gnomes, ghosts, etc)

Yes. 

78. What’s your favorite sigil/symbol?

I…sure. My favorite sigil is the one for peaceful rest. 

79. Do you use blood magick in your practice? Why or why not?

If what I'm doing calls for it, yes. 

80. Could you ever be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t support your practice?

No. I support my partner's spirituality and I consider it the least of things for them to do the same. 

81. In what area or subject would you most like your craft to grow?

Everywhere. I'm not enough as I am and I feel like learning how to be enough is taking too long. 

82. What’s your favorite candle scent? Do you use it in your practice?

Its been discontinued, but I think it was called like 'Turkish marketplace' or something equally as tone-deaf by better homes. My favorite to make and then use in my craft is lemongrass. 

83. Do you have a pre-ritual ritual? (I.e. Something you do before rituals to prepare yourself for them). If so what is it? 

I shower, yeah, if its not a curse I'm doing. If it is, I shower after, but for everything else I want to be clean when I put my energy into something. 

84. What real life witch most inspires your practice?

?? breelandwalker  ig???? Idk, I have the most of her books over other things so if that's what you mean by 'real life' or 'inspire' then there you go. 

85. What is your favorite method of communicating with deity?

Divination and prayer. 

86. How do you like to organize all your witchy items and ingredients?

By most to least used. 

87. Do you have any witches in your family that you know of?

I mean the largest amount of my heritage is Irish and Kickapoo so its not impossible, but not that I personally know of. 

88. How have you created your path? What is unique about it?

I'm having a hard time answering this without feeling like I'm posturing. 'It's the MOST unique and special' 😬😬

 I write my own prayers and spells and whatnot. 

89. Do you feel you have any natural gifts or affinities (premonitions, hearing spirits, etc.) that led you toward the craft? If so what are they?

I mean, I've been seeing ghosts and feeling presences my whole life, but it drove me further away from my craft when I was still Catholic rather than leading me to it. 

90. Do you believe you can initiate yourself or do you have to be initiated by another witch or coven?

You're a witch if you goddamn want to be one no one gets to tell you when you're allowed to do magic

91. When you first started out in your path what was the first thing or things you bought?

A tarot deck and notebooks

92. What is the most spiritual or magickal place you’ve been?

The coldspring at Nitchke Mounds. 

93. What’s one piece of advice you’d give someone who is searching for their matron and patron deities?

Divorce yourself from the notion that only one or two gods want you. Walk away from the idea that you only get so many. There are a lot of deities and spirits and I don't understand why people are so attached to limiting themselves. 

94. What techniques do you use to ‘get in the zone’ for meditation? 

I don't meditate. 

95. Did visualization come easily to you or did you have to practice at it?

I read a lot. Like a lot. My imagination is better than my grasp of reality. 

96. Do you prefer day or night? Why?

Night. Its  safe there. 

97. What do you think is the best time and place to do spell work?

3am 

98. How did you feel when you cast your first circle? Did you stumble or did it go smoothly?

Oh, I loved it. I really liked casting circles, but it quickly became a waste of time, so now I have permanent ones. 

99. Do you believe witchcraft gets easier with time and practice?

It gets different for sure. 

100. Do you believe in many gods or one God with many faces?  

I believe that as long as there have been people there has been the desire to believe in something bigger than us. Is it one thing, or has it split into many over time? I don't know. 

101. Do you eat meat, eggs and dairy?

I'm allergic to dairy but yes. 

102. What is your favorite color and why?

Purple, why? 

103. What is the one question you get asked most by non-practitioners or non-pagans? How do you usually respond?

Are you sure? Yes. 

104. Which of your five senses would you say is your strongest? 

Feeling, but that's just because my ears are shot, I'm more nearsighted every year, I have very little sense of taste, and I need my scents to be overpowering in order to register. 

105. What is a pagan or witchcraft rule that you preach but don’t practice?

The only rule I preach is the one I practice hardest: not everything is for you to play with  I have no right to preach anything else

Witchcraft Asks #1-105

Here is the list of the 105 witchcraft questions I just finished answering. I answered one each day but feel free to answer them all at once or however you want to do it. Tag your it!

1. Are you solitary or in a coven? 2. Do you consider yourself Wiccan, Pagan, witch, or other? 3. What is your zodiac sign? 4. Do you have a Patron God/dess? 5. Do you work with a Pantheon? 6. Do you use tarot, palmistry, or 
any other kind of divination? 7. What are some of your favorite herbs to use in your practice? (if any) 8. How would you define your craft? 9. Do you curse? If not, do you accept others who do? 10. How long have you been practicing? 11. Do you currently or have you ever had any familiars? 12. Do you believe in Karma or
Reincarnation? 13. Do you have a magical name? 14. Are you “out of the broom closet”? 15. What was the last spell you performed? 16. Would you consider yourself knowledgeable? 17. Do you write your own spells? 18. Do you have a book of shadows?
If so, how is it written and/or set up? 19. Do you worship nature? 20. What is your favorite gemstone? 21. Do you use feathers, claws, fur, pelt, skeletons/bones, or any other animal body part for magical work? 22. Do you have an altar? 23. What is your preferred element? 24. Do you consider yourself an Alchemist? 25. Are you any other type of magical practitioner besides a witch? 26. What got you interested in witchcraft? 27. Have you ever performed a spell or ritual with the company of anyone who was not a witch? 28. Have you ever used ouija? 29. Do you consider yourself a psychic? 30. Do you have a spirit guide? If so, what is it? 31. What is something you wish someone had told you when you first started? 32. Do you celebrate the Sabbats? If so which one is your favorite? 33. Would you ever teach witchcraft to your children? 34. Do you meditate? 35. What is your favorite season? 36. What is your favorite type of magick to preform? 37. How do you incorporate your spirituality into your daily life? 38. What is your favorite witchy movie? 39. What is your favorite witchy book, both fiction and non-fiction. Why? 40. What is the first spell you ever preformed? Successful or not. 41. What’s the craziest witchcraft-related thing that’s happened to you? 42. What is your favourite type of candle to use? 43. What is your favorite witchy tool? 44. Do you or have you ever made your own witchy tools? 45. Have you ever worked with any magical creatures such as the fea or spirits? 46. Do you practice color magic? 47. Do you or have you ever had a witchy teacher or mentor of any kind? 48. What is your preferred way of shopping for witchcraft supplies? 49. Do you believe in predestination or fate? 50. What do you do to reconnect when you are feeling out of touch with your practice? 51. Have you ever had any supernatural experiences? 52. What is your biggest witchy pet peeve? 53. Do you like incense? If so what’s your favorite scent? 54. Do you keep a dream journal of any kind? 55. What has been your biggest witchcraft disaster? 56. What has been your biggest witchcraft success? 57. What in your practice do you do that you may feel silly or embarrassed about? 58. Do you believe that you can be an atheist, Christian, Muslim or some other faith and still be a witch too? 59. Do you ever feel insecure, unsure or even scared of spell work? 60. Do you ever hold yourself to a standard in your witchcraft that you feel you may never obtain? 61. What is something witch related that you want right now? 62. What is your rune of choice? 63. What is your tarot card of choice? 64. Do you use essential oils? If so what is your favorite? 65. Have you ever taken any kind of witchcraft or pagan courses? 66. Do you wear pagan jewelry in public? 67. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your faith or being a witch? 68. Do you read or subscribe to any pagan magazines? 69. Do you think it’s important to know the history of paganism and witchcraft? 70. What are your favorite things about being a witch? 71. What are your least favorite things about being a witch? 72. Do you listen to any pagan music? If so who is your favorite singer/band? 73. Do you celebrate the Esbbats? If so, how? 74. Do you ever work skyclad? 75. Do you think witchcraft has improved your life? If so, how? 76. Where do you draw inspiration from for your practice? 77. Do you believe in ‘fantasy’ creatures? (Unicorns, fairies, elves, gnomes, ghosts, etc) 78. What’s your favorite sigil/symbol? 79. Do you use blood magick in your practice? Why or why not? 80. Could you ever be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t support your practice? 81. In what area or subject would you most like your craft to grow? 82. What’s your favorite candle scent? Do you use it in your practice? 83. Do you have a pre-ritual ritual? (I.e. Something you do before rituals to prepare yourself for them). If so what is it? 84. What real life witch most inspires your practice? 85. What is your favorite method of communicating with deity? 86. How do you like to organize all your witchy items and ingredients? 87. Do you have any witches in your family that you know of? 88. How have you created your path? What is unique about it? 89. Do you feel you have any natural gifts or affinities (premonitions, hearing spirits, etc.) that led you toward the craft? If so what are they? 90. Do you believe you can initiate yourself or do you have to be initiated by another witch or coven? 91. When you first started out in your path what was the first thing or things you bought? 92. What is the most spiritual or magickal place you’ve been? 93. What’s one piece of advice you’d give someone who is searching for their matron and patron deities? 94. What techniques do you use to ‘get in the zone’ for meditation? 95. Did visualization come easily to you or did you have to practice at it? 96. Do you prefer day or night? Why? 97. What do you think is the best time and place to do spell work? 98. How did you feel when you cast your first circle? Did you stumble or did it go smoothly? 99. Do you believe witchcraft gets easier with time and practice? 100. Do you believe in many gods or one God with many faces? 101. Do you eat meat, eggs and dairy? 102. What is your favorite color and why? 103. What is the one question you get asked most by non-practitioners or non-pagans? How do you usually respond? 104. Which of your five senses would you say is your strongest? 105. What is a pagan or witchcraft rule that you preach but don’t practice?

[darkmaga-returns]

Your daily dose of natural disasters and amazing phenomena for October 20, 2024...

Strange Sounds

Mars on the left, Earth on the right…

Fun fact: The rovers on mars were first tested in the Atacama desert in Chile and Argentina. In parts of the desert it is so dry there that not even bacteria can grow…

The accuracy…

The funny thing is, we all know it but do it anyway…

That meme made me lol…

Could a large-scale cyber attack be imminent?

Guess we'll see what happens. If internet goes down.. well.......... that would suck… Just be prepared in case something happens…

The Eye of God - A stunning deep space nebula…

The Helix Nebula, sometimes referred to as the 'Eye Of God Nebula', is an object known as a planetary nebula located 650 lightyears away and seen in the constellation Aquarius.

It is a dying star that's running out of fuel, ejecting its outer layers into space and producing a large, puffed-out structure.

Hmm wonder what’s on the other side of the eye, the blue part. Looks like paradise…

Wow. That is incredible. Brilliant capture… Mumbai, India…

A new Stoker dropped before Winds of Winter…

Dracula author Bram Stoker's lost story unearthed after 134 years…

HEY FRIENDS! PLEASE SUPPORT MY WORK! THANKS YOU!

PAYPAL

DonorBox

Saudi Crown Prince MBS’s dream project Neom is racing towards completion at such speed that it alone is consuming 20% of the worlds steel…

Stop the steal…

Australia: Funeral home owner accused of keeping a woman’s corpse in the back of a hearse for over a year…

Meanwhile, a funeral home in Poland apologised after corpse falls out of a hearse and into traffic…

Authorities said at least seven people were killed Saturday when part of a ferry dock collapsed on Georgia's Sapelo Island, where crowds had gathered for a fall celebration by the island's tiny Gullah-Geechee community of Black slave descendants.

Two stories... the tragedy of the collapse of the ferry gang plank, and the history of these Black separatist islands. And a third story of homes being sold (increased taxes) as vacation homes... not a good sign, of course…

Harvard scientists unveil a new AI model for cancer diagnosis, 96% accuracy!

Cool, now where's our free treatment that doesnt make us drain our children's college fund, lose our savings, go bankrupt, sell our house, and live on the streets?

It's in Canada, the UK, Australia, France... Well, almost all European countries… Really! Even China, and most of the civilized world... Sorry friend.

Bad luck being sick in America…

10 million people plunge into darkness as Cuba’s grid collapses…

Sounds like you will soon get 10 million more immigrants coming to America...

A rare 237-year-old copy of the US Constitution has been sold at auction for a whopping $9m (£7m).MORE…

The copy was printed in 1787 after delegates from the colonial states met for the Constitutional Convention and drafted what would become the founding document of the US federal government.

There are believed to be only eight copies like this one left in existence, and seven of them are publicly owned.

Why did it sell for such a low value? Paintings often sell for 20x this. This is a valuation you could see on Antique Roadshow. How is a copy of the US Constitution not a good investment?

The annual Orionid meteor shower is underway as Earth passes through a stream of debris from Halley's Comet.

The best time to look is during the hours before sunrise on Monday morning.

Observers in both hemispheres can see this shower, which could produce up to a dozen meteors per hour.

I know you guys prefer news on this newsletter, but I just wanted to share this quote which I found very interesting...

“Man should not be able to see his own face -- there’s nothing more sinister. Nature gave him the gift of not being able to see it, and of not being able to stare into his own eyes. Only in the water of rivers and ponds could he look at his face. And the very posture he had to assume was symbolic. He had to bend over, stoop down, to commit the ignominy of beholding himself. The inventor of the mirror poisoned the human heart.”

— Fernando Pessoa

[stoicforestsss]

I miss reproductive freedoms. I miss when I could've had a legal abortion in America. I just turned 18 when abortions became illegal, and I never even got to taste that freedom. Before Roe V. Wade was overturned, I was a child who had no business having sex. It wouldn't even have been about the pregnancy. And what hurts the most is that the bans aren't even for control over women - they're so people can have more ants to give to the work force.

I'm drunk right now. I'm very drunk. I can't distract myself and I sure as hell will never stand for the flag again. On top of it all, I have bad sexual trauma. I was molested by my dad and my sister, and my cousin would say he wanted to see me change my clothes. My aunt dragged him out of his bedroom once she heard him and later he said it was my fault. I was sexually harassed by a dance teacher and I still can't have anyone behind me. God damn it.

Cue to when I met this man and we started to date. I got tired of using condoms and morning after pills and decided to get birth control from the local health department. They said they had to perform a pap smear exam before they could give me birth control pills, which in theory, I understand. The issue was that I got triggered from Mr. Dance Teacher's abuse, his constant abuse. I got naked anyway, put on the plastic, paper sheet, and tried to be strong. They were smart enough to understand there was no way I could ever handle the full thing, so they did half of it. Dope.

Women are being arrested for having miscarriages who are destined to die of sepsis, because it's a natural abortion. It's miserable and dystopian, and the salt and lemon juice in the wound is that if this were written by someone slightly younger than me, they'd censor half of the words with that 80's trend where they'd switch out letters for numbers and other symbols. The thought itself is censored. This is why I get drunk, and it's why I'm awake. It infuriates me, too, that men keep catcalling me, but we can't criticize the men, can we? So we go down the street, knowing that we can't really do anything when the men say shit and say victim mentality things, until were told to man up and be a badass, as if that could fix it. The kicker is that when the men are doing the shit, the women have to suffer and go to prison when the rapists and harassers either go free or have lesser sentences.

I was a miserable child who waited for adulthood. People told me to put myself down and be a lady. You don't talk as loudly as the men. You don't talk about your skills when a man is talking about his. I waited for the day I could have a child and they could smile and have a family who loves them, who wouldn't pull their pants down and make them feel good for some reason or tell them to be a slave to men. Not this world, where even the Christian conservatives are telling their high school graduates to change the world for the better, in the context that they must erase this error.

And of all things, in Kenya, they don't have access to the same amount of abortion care as the medical facilities do in the US. They're not attacking women specifically, for the sake of making more workers. I want to live in Canada, but my boyfriend wants Kenya, where his brother in spirit lives.

Every conservative in a political seat is going after the rest of your freedoms. The conservative law makers are going after the rest of everything you take for granted. Fight them back and vote them away from their seats. Don't get apathetic and dissociate, although I understand it's hard. Ask the hard questions and don't be afraid to get angry.

Get angry. Hell, do something! Make a sign and put it in your yard or on the street. Update your profile pictures on your social media. Write books. Get a stool and yell. Don't work at jobs with bosses who have those disgusting terroristic beliefs. Yell at your grandparents who say they're saving the children. Do something.

Vote the bad people out. Vote the good people in. Stay in touch politically and educate yourself in every one of your free moments if you want your children to live a good life. Not for the sake of their lives, but for the sake of their happiness. Don't let the government make you a breeding machine who pumps out babies every nine months so you can adopt them out. They want mindless soldiers with abandonment issues who are willing to say "Yes, sir", and emptily kill because they were told to. They don't want your children to be happy, because if they did, they would help you.

Don't be the reason these incel demons get into the offices and change the whole infrastructure so they can enforce their own fascism. They're fascists. You're fighting a new Stalin. What would you do in that situation? Do it.

Now I can go to bed. I'm tired. I'm going to have to listen to music to get in a good head. I'm too buzzed and need sleep. Fight for what is right. Please help the world. Please let me sleep knowing that there is hope, that not everyone in the world just cares about work and staring at phones and counting their imaginary digital money. Please.

[the-good-projxct]

March 25th, 2024

11:12pm Listening to Barbie world by Queen Nicki while in Karen in my bedroom. Hmm I had a very meh day. I woke up kinda early because ants were biting me because ants got into my bed sheets. I think the cold weather is bringing the ants indoors. Remember what I said about critters coming indoors due to the rain? Anyway, it rained soooo much last night. It was such a soothing sound. I woke up kinda early and hung out with mom and LoustaLoustaman before KaMami headed out to Meru. Then I laid down on the couch for a few hours, just zoned out. I was sooo tired due to the ants and due to romantic antics. Love can be literally exhausting. Why am I lacking sleep? LMAO…pleasure over sleep dawg. But not all the time. Sleep is a pleasure too. This is my 30’s talking. SLEEP IS PLEASURE TUH! Then we did my hair for a few hours, shout out to Mercy for doing my retie. I miss Mommy Dorcas. She was my Lox person and it felt weird having someone else do my hair after the same person has done it for 2.5yrs. Changes eh? After doing my hair, I planned to shower but that tiredness hit and I fell asleep on my bed for 2 hours. I was in a bad position so my tiddy was smashed by things on my bed. I woke up with such a sore boob I thought I had permanently injured my yiddies. Man I love these God Given double d’s. Anyway, we all Gøod now. I took a shower, went down to eat matoke and cabbage. Had some tea and a cookie cake like ting then came up here. Very meh kinda day eh? Lol. A few minutes ago Kendi was asking me to explain what it is about Canada I resent. And it is hard to explain white supremacy, racism, anti-blackness to someone who doesn’t know it. It sounds kinda crazy tbh because it is. And I don’t like talking about it with people that haven’t experienced it because I sound crazy. She kept asking, so what do you do about it? Do you know how crazy you sound saying you get treated badly over and over and over but cannot do anything about it? She was like, what if you go somewhere else and I tried to explain and I said it’s in the culture, it’s in the air. At that point I realized I sound psycho and just fell back. If she chooses to go she will find out and I will support her through it. It’s like explaining war to someone that has never experienced war. Sure they kinda get some of it but they cannot grasp the trauma only others understand the trauma and the ptsd and the lingering of that experience that you carry with you for eternity. A red stain for those who know. Anyway, it was a reminder of how much I don’t want to go back to the west ever again. Like I am Gøod. On a lighter note, my skin is so healthy. It is glowing, it has a natural highlighter helluurr fenty, I am naturally killawatt. See your gwoorrrlll shine. I am the color of a perfectly baked cookie sitting on the window sill covered in early evening golden hour light. My nails are shiny. They are literally stronger, shinier and growing. See this is what the African sun and warmth does to an African. I am in my element dawg. And yeah, sure there is poverty, classism, sexism…all these things are in the west as well. Here, I am LOVED for my cocoa brown melanated skin. Here, I am baby girl. Here, I am. Here I can be. Here I live. Here I breathe. Here I matter. Here I glow. Here I shine. Here I am She. Here I am Her. Here I am God. Here I am God’s. 

This was always God’s plan. I know God. I am God. Life is Gøod. I am Gøod. Ase. Ase.

[hardfeeling505]

All about her

This story is about my experience became friend with someone i accidentally met on random tiktok live and i asking her to be FRIEND MOOTS

her nickname idk, i just call her M, she is the oldest child, from what i see she is a very good big sis to her younger sis(her sister is so lucky to have u M).height 5'4 feet in cm its like 162.56 (she told me how else i know😐)born on September something 2005. I thought i'm going to jail man😐 but i born on 2001 so it okay, thanks God for that✊ (im a little bit cooked tbh i'm on a thin ice right back there😔) she a Filipino Canadian Girl, raised in Alberta , Edmonton , Canada. It take about 24hr 45 min flight from my place. One day i hope for to meeting her in person😤,even though i know its not gonna happen(just me being delulu).

Actually, i want to witness the flower bloom in spring with my own eyes + Also meeting my buddy. She told me her province is known for Grand Prairie’s and stuff, it's like a full green land and have so many lake ,as i recall there also a moutain (6 hours ride from her home) bcs she told me that there is so many wild flower will bloom when it spring season. I bet the view is so beautiful, you know nature and beautiful, a word that can't be separated, and yes always beautiful + watching with her? Bro!! i gotta prepare insulin injection bcs i might got sick from all those sweet moment with her

(🗣️📢🔥🔥🔥this is not a pickup line).

Other thing about her.She is one of the lactose intolerant victim , can't drink or eat anything contain dairy stuff ,only almond milk. She told me she can't eat corndog ,poor her.😭 Bro!! i eat corndog like i cant even count how much i eat.When she say that , i wish i can give her a hug but must keep it halal (yes i'm a muslim). Furthermore, i like like like it when she go suddenly share random fact about her ,one example of it "i hate energy drink" and "im just got choke from reading your comment bro" , she so random Bro that is one of her charm and i loving it (as a buddy ofc)

And one moment, my dumbass go tell her to try drink banana milk, After re-read my chat i go Oof what have i done😐. I genuinely want to kick myself for that I'm so sorry M forgive me please i think i half asleep at that moment not thinking straight. 🙏 (im doom can't think of any better excuses Help😔)

Also the so CUTE impression of her i can't hold myself to tease her😭(im cooked). SO STRONG INFJ VIBE FR. There is one morning we chatting about breakfast , she say she making a toast bread, I ask her "M you eating the bread with what? peanut butter?" and she answer "i eat it with banana and something" , then i say "i like banana too" for real i like banana💯. Then, i saw my opportunity to tease her and i took it😭, i start with asking her "u know what i like too?" ,she reply "what?" , it might seem crazy what gonna say, i with my full consciousness say " i like strawberry jam, strawbewwy jam is so✨✨" , and she reply with "Oooh" then "okay". I feel like a bad guy at that moment but man she so cute i cant resist it I am so sorry M forgive me🙏😔. (i want to do it again frfr)

She going into Nursing then paramedics like ambulance people, praying for her to achieve her dream, Amin .Please God give her All the strength she need bcs im so far away from her🤲.(Proud for her Bro as buddy ofc).She enjoy work out so much (i like it too💯), consider it her hobby for now.She like to say LOL a lot i know everyone does but her LOL is different for me (dont attack me).

One more thing i like about her is her habits to explain to me about something until i truly understand, her effort Bro!!. (she like to express her feeling by put it all in her writing). I swear i will like and always read everything she wrote man like i feel like my eyes and brain (my whole life existance) is created by god to read her essay man, to listen to her. I literally crying right now while writing this. thank god i not writing this on paper man.She so precious to me Bro!!! like very unreal to me and i dont deserve to get to know her, to good to be true.

(Pls read this one paragraph below while listen to Everygreen by Richy Mitch & The Coal Miners trust me)

one moment , i talk to her about snow (we like to talk about random stuff) anyways it go like this i ask " M, is it spring there?" she answer "it still winter season " , after that i told her "i like winter but i like to see flower bloom in spring more" , and she start telling me all of her life experience living in 4 season, after that we caught in deep talk moment it for like forever for me (it feel long for me) It so beautiful man talking to her, its healing me. Then the sentence hit me.I dont want to lose her as a buddy ofc(she already on a somewhat relationship).

- her Twice bias is dahyun meanwhile mine is sana

- her Aespa bias is karina(same as me)

- her Nmixx bias is lily(same twice) Do you see there is a sign here.

Finally we are here thank for staying with me on this journey,The Main Topic is her MBTI😤

A Beautiful yet So Soft INFJ personality ,i have so much interest in this mbti man,you know this type of mbti is so rare. I am shooketh yes my jaw drop ahh so cringe but it is frfr when she told me her mbti i am so shock Lol, i never found this type before all of my friend male/ female is always started with E and end with J or some case started with I and end with P, what i want to say is it so weird to me this type of MBTI INFJ. It so UNIQUE thats the word .Don't want to be so hype talking to her so i tried to cover with "oh idk u were an I" meanwhile me talking to myself ofc she an I you dummy she like nature and stuff also she admire cat ☝️😃 Also it her fav animal. (i bet you 100 dollar she will pat every cat she bypass)

About her song taste is interesting .Quite similar to me or just the same genre?🤔 As expected from her MBTI type. Her fav song is My Love Mine All Mine by Mitski (this song is PERFECT just like her)😤 *i want to cry again bro. She has 39K+ minutes streaming on spotify for this song ALONE (she told me). JUST FOR 39k MINUTES ??? THE SONG IS IN YOUR BLOOD GIRL FRFR . It Mother Mitski song never ever doubted her song✊). One statement from M. "I actually have 209k minutes of listening to music on Spotify😌"

I want to ask her ig so bad Bro!!! or anything that can i use to reach/contact her others from tiktok. i can't use my sticker that the main reason, all my hilarious meme collection relatable go to waste and also i'm a coward.

Something i truly get hurt from is the fact she have anxiety/panic attack(she frequently got stomachache).I really want to know how to pleasant or calming her, tbh i try search and read many article about anxiety, unfortunately ,i don't find any effective ways just some drinking water and stuff like that😔. Even though i suffer from same thing but i too don't know any tips.Maybe try go to therapy session like me once a week?(its not working for me my therapist just want my money i know it not that right Mr Lim? you scammer he is chinese).Article nowadays is unhelpful.

I think i just like her personality or am i? or im just too easy to catching feeling (maybe its true). It just a phase i guess i will get over it😌

Sorry i forgot to put her Newjeans bias(her ultimate Gir Group). Her bias is Kang Kaerin😸 , i agree with her Kang Haerin is so cute but She more cuter to me ahh i wish i could tell her this, what a coward i am. Ofc bcs they share the same Mbti INFJ (she like her so much, i bet her photo album of Kang Haerin is more than 500+ pic). Her bias wrecker is Danielle🐶(my bias), YES if you notice there is pattern here.If you a Bunnies, DaeRin Friendship you will get it what i mean. Also i make a Favorite Collection on my tiktok profile for her, I know i know, it nothing but i should do something for her. The Title "For Her , yep U" . I remember creating it 3 day after meet her, and ofc as buddy nothing personal. My tiktok name is Newjeans Haerin (cactus name)🥕 on her Jean'Zine solo vlog.

Btw I'm an INFP My MBTI ,funny right?

About my MBTI there is story too🤟.

Before the covid, i take the MBTI test between 2018-2019 i'm still in college back then and My first MBTI test result is ENFP. Fyi, i'm quite not shy person. Main reason, 2nd child curse?. i believe this is so true My family always ignore me frfr😭 but i know deep down of their heart they still care or maybe bcs“ i'm annoying "ahh kinda kid back then, I like hugging them, its that wrong?😃 that not a crime and i am still kid. I think clingy is the word😌🤟.Don't blame me, since birth i'm like this (im cooked)

After Covid, between 2023 year i retake the test the reason is i notice that my social skill is gone ,maybe bcs im live alone. Literally, It was like i scare to talk , i'm worry that someone will judge me when i approach them. I hate anxiety bro!! My condition is so bad at some point i can't breath normally , it like my chest is so full, i took various antistress pill(i stop taking them now) this entire pain after years not talking much to someone, only my cat Lol, i love my cat he so cute like frfr😭 his name is kuromi. he a black cat with yellow eye + he like hugging me,he is the only creature that like back when i hug😭 the other half of me. About friend i have friends so many friends but i don't usually contact them by phone or online its just me, i prefer go meet them , stop by for a drink like that , Face to face Obviously before covid what harm can happen to you by doing outdoor activity?get hit by car? actually that is harmful.Super harmful actually, really what the dangerous thing could happen to you? got sick from fever? Back then even social anxiety scare to me😔. Yeah i know what u thinking My friend when don't like the idea i want to hug them too , that not a new things to me i'm just joking 😔(im not).Frfr i have so many friends. It so easy to make friends Bro!! like just go talking to someone new i don't see any problem at all . It just 2 human talking like .

you=>🧍🏻talking🧍🏻<=me

Agree with me Dangerous Virus is just a myth before covid-19 exist, its like a movie title Bro so dumb. Just a small dumb virus ruining my life.

Continue my story about mbti test , i retake it, the result come out, and i got the INFP BRO!!☹️ as expected ,yeah the E is gone. Untill now i still not retake the test but im 💯 sure the E is back bcs starting this year at my workplace i slowly not slowly tbh Lol, easily can approach people now bro like frfr, i think i enjoy talking to people back , i like listen to them. i know what u think the hugging thing i can control it now.Bro i'm a grownass man now😭 (i still like hugging but not other gender keep stay halal). Maybe i should consider retake the test again this year🤔.Overall For who reading this now.Thank You Very Much For spend your time reading my yapping essay about someone who already i lost contact with. My conclusion is, Heals Really Take Time FRFR,you just has to trust the process.

#MBTI#Healing#infj#enfp#infp#Mitski#yapping#shortstory#fantasy#humor#frfr#halal#anxiety#covid#imcooked#haerin#danielle#newjeans#nmixx#lily#aespa#karina#twice#dahyun#sana#spotify#🥕#feeling#tiktok#tiktoklive#canada#alberta#edmonton

side note : i type all this while listen to her fav song on loop, I'm not good at writing essay unlike her, sorry for all grammatical error or miss place, word conjunction. Thanks all for the memory M. Hope ur doing Great Now.

[builder-4-hire-new-home-packages]

https://www.empcontracting.ca & Erik M. Parti here I am working away trying to be nice on the internet and I have to be proud, although I am not perfect but today I am proud to know God, the most high God! He teaches me that number one he is way feakin better then me or the rest of you mankind so take a break this Christmas and thank God for your life by  maybe giving fair rent to someone who doesn't make that much money! Don't rip off peoples wages like in shit whole countries, and if you are in a shit whole!  Daaahhhhh ohh and Merry Christmas to all every where especially crap wholes with chaos and confusion - may you meet God from him manifesting love in your heart honesty and get rid of these God's that don't have any value like being able to make time and space and give free will to man! LIKE FREE WILL - CAN YOU IMAGINE SO MANY OF YOU CAN'T EVEN GIVE FAIR RENT OR WAGES LET ALONE FREE WILL LOL MERRY CHRISTMAS! NO BOMBS BOMBS ARE NOT ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY AND certainly NOT SUSTAINABLE INTELLIGENT - DON'T USE BOMBS IF YOU HAVE A PRIMITIVE LEADER THAT HAS A NASAL CONGESTION SO BAD HIS BRAIN IS SHRUNK TO THE SIZE OF A BASEBALL AND IS REALLY JUST HAVING AN ALLERGIC REACTION TO MOLD !  HE IN HIS RIGHT STATE  CERTAINLY DOESN'T WANT TO DESTROY GOOD LIVING BY RUINING THE ENVIRONMENT WE LIVE IN SO WHEN HE ACTS CRAZY AND SAYS, "LETS BLOW UP ISRAEL" OR "KILL HOMAS" REMEMBER HE IS STUPID BECAUSE OF HIS MENTAL HEALTH CONDITION AND SHOULD BE GIVEN SOME GOOD TEA AND A NICE DAY OR TWO OFF WORK AND STRESS AND MAYBE CHECK TO SEE IF THE PALACE SHOULD MAYBE GET RIPPED DOWN AND REPURPOSED AND TREATED WITH CHLORINE TO AVOID MOLD POISING! That is why I build homes using the Canadian Building Code because mold and little poisons that we think is nothing but a little dirt on the wall can actually cause wars and I truly believe is and are the reason for a lot of wars! Believe it or not mold poising is a from the toxic nature of mold eating, but it is really disintegrating material that it is embedded in thus the material has a chemical reaction and depending on the calculation of the chemical change and what specific molecule comes from the mold depends on how dangerous your living environment is!  So the next time you have war, or there is gun fire maybe slow down that think really why that is occurring! Maybe some idiot just got listened to who is having a mental health break down who is being poisoned by ultra toxic poisoning and no one knows he isn't really a monster he is just high on poison! Where we find behavioral problems we always can find a significant poisonous contaminant in the living environment! So fighters stop and remember God over some guy who can't shut up in a crowd and thinks he must live out every stupid thing he must say in a crowd - and look, maybe the loose mouthed idiot just needs some rest and have the Blue tooth turned off or the wifi signal close to his home removed!  Think about it! Cell phone is microwave radiation - and that is a poison to us we cook food in in Canada and the USA and any where else stupid enough to ruin the molecular quality of food!  Imagine what cell phones are doing to people in the dry desert!  Because of this scientific understanding I believe that people could actually be having a mental health break down in group numbers and not even know they aren't irritated at all at their neighbors they just need healthy good environment and living situations including good moist diet and fluids to replenish the bodies humidity level so that people can go to bed and sleep and all the heavy metals breathed in through out the day can flush - thus why we have people who don't sleep are often just dehydrated stress or not, mix that with wifi cell radiation in the home or church or synagogue and you find a lot of reasons why people can't act like primitive animals! Something is wrong, help them don't blow their heads off give them something to eat! Look at the thermos breaks in the home! Is there enough ventilation or to much moisture build up and a weird yellow film or dirt that seems to be sucked into the skin of paint or concrete of the walls? Many crazy people over the past of history who didn't do much for anyone or anything but get a whole bunch of people who couldn't just have the balls to say "Shut up" and "No" we aren't going to leave our family and endanger our self's to go take another from him and both get killed at a young age like a bunch of stupid f words!  I am serious this is no joke!  From sky scrapers to empty over priced office buildings in starving down town centers I see this all the time with a wholes!  We have people sick and they are having problems with ego and anger and they feel like shit and cause problems and that is why! Right here listed here in!  I encourage you! Instead of having another stupid cave man primitive war next time learn to say "shut up" "your sick int he head"  or "that palace is to big and full of mold and you are crazy" to the next psychopathic idea from some idiot to go massacre a bunch of kids or invade a country!  Just stupid! Any ways and even just when you or the wife and kids are fighting think of this lesson here in! Maybe you will be able to rekindle the relationship with that crazy old mother and law yet when you find out what really the problem is other then your cooking!  The Canadian Building Code is designed to take as much poison out of the home as possible while not including things like radon, mold or asbestos and have other problems from chemical changes coming over time from material break down such that comes from oxygenating metals or changing electrodes in steal when we have galvanization or pressure treated wood sitting against polyurethane that is bad to have in Iraq or United Arab Eremites because the temperature of those climatic areas is so high the polyurethane becomes a toxic waste and gives off poisonous gases that cause all kind of health problems but until you learn from a master like me, Master Erik Parti you won't know because this information just doesn't jump out and say "Your the boss now stupid you know everything" no it hides and you get sick or worse kids in the building construction atmosphere are effected or some idiot talking to someone with a gun that is to uninformed to know that that person could be in a significant health situation causing him to be considerable stupid and mentally unwell or have breathing and other issues!  for quality home packages call https://www.empcontracting.ca 

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

hey there! my name is nura from canada and im very happy to have come across your blog! i used to casually watch ipkknd with my mom when it first aired more than 10 yrs ago but i didn't remember anything besides the leads so now im watching it all over again and im HOOKED. im glad that there is a fandom for the show, i would've hated feeling so alone in my love for this show.

i was going thru your posts and i noticed in one recent ask you had answered smth along the lines of the general disinterest of the cast for the show and i think their unwillingness to do anything more with the show. can you pls elaborate a little on this as i have no idea what this show was like behind the scenes. i apologize in advance in case i am misinterpreting your answer!

thank you and i can't wait to dive deeper into your blog and possibly bug you even more as i continue my rewatch 💙💙

- nura

Hello fellow Canadian :)

I am so glad you're enjoying watching IPKKND!!! Fandom makes things memorable for everyone :) I've met some of my closest friends due to this show and it's so exciting to chat up about everything you liked about it!!!

Oh don't worry, the cast is actually the best friends off screen. Barun (Arnav), Sanaya (Khushi) and I think Akshay (Akash) even live in the same building! And they all (which includes Daljeet [Anjali], Abhaas [Shyam] and the writer Gautam) often keep hanging out with each other and going on trips together!

The show was also amazing off screen, you'd roll off your bed laughing at their chaotic behind the screen interviews.

Interviewer asks about why Khushi wants to leave post Arnav telling her she's the biggest mistake of his life scene:

Sanaya: Oh nothing, you see my husband has some gas issues.

Barun (yawning and laughing): Haan I have gas.

Sanaya: Exactly, so I need to take a break from this.

LOL.

But yeah Barun himself quit the show (thank God) because he (accurately) didn't see where the show was going and why he needed to be a part of it. Also the cast in general, especially the leads aren't invested in simply seeing IPK again on screen. Which, understandable. A lot of writing and effort went into making IPK in the first place - to simply see it again as a cash grab (which they did with Ek Jashn) doesn't seem like reason enough. Also Sanaya and Barun have made it very very clear that they really aren't into daily soaps and would much prefer to be in limited series and they're both beyond what IPK is.

Barun has consciously chosen characters that are non romantic in nature to shed off the 'romance' projects. Which is a bit of a shame because few people sell romance the way he does! Sanaya is chilling. Lol she always is.

It's nothing bad, it's just that naturally they're probably not as attached to the show as much as the fans are because tbh, how famous or a classic IPK is was understood some time after the show ended as opposed to when it ran.

It's not like they don't like the show - of course they do granted that it put a few of them on the map, it was a different show and they found great friends out of it - but there actually doesn't seem to be any active engagement regarding the show.

Some examples of when you can see the cast being devoted to their shows like their fans would include the cast of Sarabhai V/S Sarabhai (there was a cute insta reel a few months ago of all of them singing the title song of the show) or Arjun Bijlani from Miley Jab Hum Tum - dude genuinely loves his show so much that when he's clean shaven he posts on Insta that it's #Mayank (which was his character's name).

And it's not a bad thing, it's just that the actors aren't invested in the show they did ten years ago - which happens. In several interviews Barun has little comments on Arnav, he has more of a critical analysis why IPK was different and the writing of the show (he's more inclined to writing in general). And Sanaya also has very little to say about Khushi apart from it being similar to her so she had fun playing it. I think in the recent most interviews where they had questions regarding 'what would their character do' currently or were asked to behave like their characters - they were both a little lost on what to do and had nothing apart from a few funny comments.

Which, again, isn't a bad thing at all.

In fact it probably tells what a big role the writer and director play in fleshing out these characters! Gautam Hegde (the writer) still waxes some of the most beautiful lines about IPKKND.

And if anything the Rewind showed that Barun gets ASR only if there's a purpose to it. And Sanaya can switch into Khushi when she's performing somewhere.

It can feel a bit bittersweet for a fan because a show means so much for a viewing experience. So I won't say that the cast is 'unwilling' - I'd say they're reluctant.

And that's different.

I don't think Barun and Sanaya would ever reprise Arnav and Khushi beyond an hour of shooting if there wasn't anything meaningful to it.

So keeping all this in mind I'm very happy not seeing IPK on screen because current Indian television landscape is terrible and if there's no actual purpose to bringing IPK on screen then what?

It'll just be a Season 3 of Kuch Rang Pyaar Ke Rise Bhi or Season 2 of Pratigya!

And canonically Arnav and Khushi got their happily ever after and I'd love it to remain that way.

Lol this was a long answer!!!

Much love Nura,

Jalebi

[botwstoriesandsuch]

Big question. I need your opinion on something. If Mipha was never saved, and Vah Ruta was never calmed, what effect would it have on Hyrule. We know that it will flood, however I doubt the Shiekah would have the ability to create water from nothing (like to gods) so I just assume they are teleporting so the ocean won't rise. With this in mind, none of the major settlements would really be affected. Gerudo Town is far enough out of the path that the river would take through lake Hylia, Riti Village is also out of the way, and not only does it have a natural moat (if you could call it that) but also a canyon in the way. Korok Forest has magic and a moat and is also out of the way, Goron City is also to high up and out of the way, Tarrey Town is really highup and out of tge way, Zoras domain has pretty good drainage and it will probably go through the several other exits to not cause that muc damage, Kakariko Village is safe in the mountains, Hateno Town is safe and out of the way, and Lurelin Village is also out of the way and won't be damaged unless the ocean floods.

WOO LET’S FLOOD A CIVILIZATION AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS!

**Zelda meter is the meter system of objmap.zeldamods.org, but in accordance with previous posts I'm gonna convert it later to "actual" meters that I think is more realistic. You’ll see why later.

ALRIGHTY, SO LET’S START WITH MEASURING TIME!

So, East Reservoir Lake is 545 zelda meters long (light blue) and 340 zelda meters wide (blue)

Or if we want to see it as more of a circle, it has a radius of 239 zelda meters

Rutala Dam itself is 30 zelda meters wide and 140 zelda meters across. (see purple)

Taking a picture and using an online ruler, I found that the damn is roughly 123 zelda meters tall. (1 cm equal to 17.5 zelda meters by using the 140zm measurement)

Technically speaking, the dam's depth is infinite in the game, so we'll just use this damn's height as the depth.

And before you tell me that I should count the height of the rocks that the damn sits on top of as part of the depth, I'm gonna say not because dams typically block preexisting waterfalls, and given the rounded erosion of the rocks here, I would say that is also the case. Therefore, this was a waterfall that fed into the Rutala River and is not counted for the reservoir's depth.

So, in summary:

Reservoir Length: 545zm

Reservoir Width: 340zm

LW Reservoir Surface Area: 185,300zm (That is only 0.1 zelda kilometer. For comparison, the 45th largest reservoir in the world, Capivera Dam [last place on Wikipedia list] is still 515 square kilometers. The largest ones being in the 60k areas. I’ll come back to this point later.)

Reservoir Radius: 239zm

(pi)r^2 Reservoir Surface Area: 179,451zm2 (179zkm2) [Just got these numbers of surface areas to demonstrate they're practically the same whether you see it as circular or rectangular. I think the circle will be more accurate so going forward I will be using it as my basis for calculations]

Dam Length: 140zm

Dam Height: 123zm

Dam Width: 30zm

The Total Water Rutala Dam Holds Back: 22,072,473zm3 [Instead of just using the sphere volume formula or the LWH formula, I used my more accurate surface area made with the the radius and multiplied by the dam height(is that the,,,cylinder formula? I think so)]

Rutala Dam is supposed to be the largest reservoir in Hyrule, shown very prominently on the map. The largest reservoir(by surface area) in our world is Lake Winnipeg, with a surface area of 24,514 km2, (but only has a depth of 12 meters.)

But here it is on a map of Canada:

To reiterate, Lake Winnipeg has an area of 24,514km, and with zelda meters, East Reservoir Lake has an area of 179.

“BUT KIP! MAYBE EAST RESEVOIR LAKE IS JUST REALLY REALLY SMALL, HYRULE IS PRETTY SMALL ISN’T IT?”

Ok, so comparing the reservoir to one of the the largest, if not THE largest, settlements in the game, Zora’s Domain, we can see that the reservoir is several times it’s size.

But you’ll also note that Zora’s Domain has a diameter of 234zm. That, the entire city, the entire DOMAIN of Zora. 234 zelda meters. Manhattan is 21,100 meters long. Manhattan, by the way, is a fifth fraction of the New York County, which is the smallest county in the United States of America.

234 zelda meters, that’s an area of 43,005zm2. Do you know what else is aobut 40k meters squared in real life? Your nearest Walmart. Just a bit bigger than your local Tesco. Supposedly the entire Zora population, that has been untouched by the 100 year apocalypse and arguably had room to GROW over this time, is living in a Trader Joes.

So I hope this illustrates why I’m converting the zelda meters used on the website to something that I think would be more realistic in the realm of Hyrule. You can find my very loud and kinda embarrassing but factual! and old post about the conversion here, same link as at the top, but essentially just trust me on the conversation that 1zm is equal to 30 real-life meters.

New Realistic Measurements:

Reservoir Length: 16,350m or 16.35km

Reservoir Width: 10,200m or 10.2km

LW Reservoir Surface Area: 166,770km2

Reservoir Radius: 7170m or 7.17km

(pi)r^2 Reservoir Surface Area: 5,383,530m2 or 5382.53km2

Dam Length: 4200m

Dam Height: 3690m

Dam Width: 900m

The Total Water Rutala Dam Holds Back: 19,865,225,700m3 or 19.8 million cubic kilometers of water AKA 19.8 billion kiloliters AKA 5.2 trillion gallons o’ agua

Now THAT sounds more like the biggest dam in all of Hyrule. In fact, it adds up with the stats of the largest dam in our world(by gallons held), that is, the Three Gorges Dam.

The Three Gorges Dam, located in China, ALSO holds back 5 trillion gallons of water/19 billion cubic meters. Although it is a lot shorter than Rutala’s measurements--I think the amount of water that it holds back will be a perfect guide to see the devastation that Rutala’s potential breakage could cause on Hyrule.

There actually is a simulation online about what would happen if the Three Gorges Dam collapsed but I’m not gonna link it cause it might be a bit too distressing, but just know that I based this on that simulation.

Firstly, the biggest sigh of relief comes from the Samasa Plain.

The plain is very very low and slopes down into the Lanayru Bay, so a lot of the water would empty into there. However, the plain would then be totally submerged, so RIP to the shrines and ruins around there. Areas in red as submerged and areas in green would become islands or marshes.

And with that, the water level of Lanayru Bay would rise drastically. Blue is the new water level, dark green are islands, and light green are potential wetlandish areas that would form as time passed.

But basically, Rutala river would have a new branch that spills directly into the Lanayru Bay.

So now you may be thinking,

“HEY KIP THAT’S NOT SO BAD! MOST OF IT SPILLS OUT INTO THE BAY SO IT’S NOT A LOT OS DESTRUCTION! YAY!”

And you’d be half right.

Yes, a lot of the water is going to spill out over Samasa Plain and yes, Lanayru Bay will house a lot of it. But here’s the kicker.

It’s a bay.

Not an ocean.

It would take 1.25zkm or 30km for the water to make it’s way to the ocean, and the water will be traveling SUPER fast--about 100 kilometers per hour.

And that water wants to move, it wants to flow, and Lanayru Bay cannot help all that water flower because:  It’s shallow as fuck.

This chest shows the deepest point in all of Lanayru Bay.

I dropped a windcleaver down in the water: and using a generous GENEROUS estimate of 2 feet per second given the conditions of the still water in the bay--It took 5 seconds for it to float to the bottom. 10 feet. 3 meters. That’s just barely deeper than the deep end of a backyard swimming pool.

But even being extra EXTRA generous and using a real world estimate: Bays would be around 14 feet deep, roughly 4 meter. And we can be even more generous and say the sounding mountains can accommodate 30 feet of height. 9 meters. 9 + 4 = 14 meter height times 30km by 10km(width) = That’s 4.2 cubic kilometers, or 4.2 billion kiloliters of the 19.8 billion kiloliters in total.

uh oh. wheres the other 15.6 billion kiloliters of water gonna go?

It’s like taking a firehose, and filling up a bathtub. Yeah, the tub’s gonna catch a lot of that water, but that firehose has way, way, way, more water than that tub can hold, and when the tub can have a leak or hole on it, but the rate that that hose is going is astronomically faster than the rate the tub can expel water, so it’s just gonna overflow and water will still spill everywhere

[And this isn’t even taking into the account that Rutala Dam is SIGNIFICANTLY higher that it’s surrounding landscape, and would pour into the river with such a force that it could cause a giant tidal wave and break through the rocky boundaries of the pre-existing Rutala River causing even more water to flow into the bay]

Lanayru Bay would be occupied with a lot of water, and since the other 15.6 billion kiloliters of water can’t immediately flow into it, it’s gonna take the scenic route through Rutala River. It’s high mountains on either side basically just make it a death funnel.

Here’s how that would look:

This is the new water level for the Lanayru Wetlands. MAn they weren’t lying, those lands do be wet.

so yeah everything is submerged in between 10 to 20 meters of water and you might be thinking

“WELL KIP, I THINK THAT’S NOT SO BAD AFTER ALL! AT LEAST NO MAJOR LANDMARKS WERE DESTROYED AND NO ONE WAS HURT!”

Well, bestie, here’s the thing. This length of land is 3 zelda kilometers long. AKA 90 kilometers long. And you might recall, I said, that this, 3000 meter tall  wall of water was traveler at 100km per hour. Well the good news is, my calculations are a lot easier for this as this large stretch of flat Lanayru Wetlands land lines up perfectly with the flat areas of Yichange, (which was actually traveling at twice the speed compared to Rutala because it didn’t have Lanayru Bay to open up into)  

But the bad news is, the video is five minutes long, and this is just the first 50 seconds. This water is destined to travel 400 kilometers. That’s about half of the country of Wales, by the way. The entire length of the state of Virginia.

Here’s the rough path of the total flooding that other 16 billion kiloliters from Rutala Dam

Oh, and what’s worse is that the rivers in central Hyrule? Yeah they’re like HALF the depth of Lanayru Bay so the flooding will be even WORSE :D

So here’s the new waterlevel map!

Overtime, a lot of the water is gonna spill onto the paths through Central Hyrule, new swamplands, creeks, etc. etc. The path to the Gerudo Desert will be fin initially, as the water as slowed to the point where it won’t put immediate damage since the bridge is so high. But that new water level plus the influx of water from the River of the Dead is definetly gonna erode that over time and maybe possibly will just collapse and prevent anyone from leaving or entering the desert.

Hyrule Castle will be even more of an island, as the two islands to the left and right of it will be moslty submerged. Also the entire path through Eldin is just fucking done. Everyone in Akkala and Eldin? You’re trapped there. It’s basically a new Lake Hylia but no bridge. Sorry Robbie.

Oh, and also these rapid waters are carrying the debris of it’s destruction, whether the corpses of travelers or giant rocks that it broke off from the side of mountains. So everything is a mess, and depending on the amount of debris, it could completly alter water paths to go even more in land. The rivers are shallow enough, so just pilling in more rocks and dam metal and dirt just makes things shallower

Lake Hylia will be fine, the mini islands are gone, but as a whole, the bridge and the height of the surrounding ridges will keep the water in there. Although a lot of Necluda is basically a goner, and the bridge on either end of Dueling Peaks is totally decimated.

So what did we learn?

All of Hyrule’s economy is fucked. Every major trading path--gone. It’s basically gonna breed even more ethnocentricism, and a bunch of wildlife and sources for food are gone. And not to mention the climate, that’s gonna be fucked too as years pass. Rito and Zora will probably be the most fine? Hylians are fucked though, we destroyed like five stables and basically every river setllement there is. Oh and that influx of water is gonna fuck with the fishes so Hateno and Lurelin aren’t totally out of it either!

Gerudo? Well good thing they’re all lesbians because they sure aren’t going out to woe anybody once those stone pillars holding the bridge give way to the new water levels. Gorons will actually not even know anything’s wrong if I’m being honest. Sheikah? Well that point by Eagus Bridge and Sarhasra slope is gonna connect into a river at some point so I guess they can be a fishing village now.

Oh an RAIN I didn’t even think about that, yeah people are totally gonna die. And if Ruta CONTINUES to pump water into Hyrule (because again, this is only from an INITIAL burst of the damn. Well...

Zora’s Domain will be gone within the year. Water levels will just continue to rise, probably take on Central Hyrule first, but then after that the Gerudo Canyon. Also if flooding in Zora’s Domain REALLY continue it would probably spill over and destroy Tarrey Town. So not good all around!

But I think the main takeaway that we can all settle with is that the Flower Lady and her garden are absolutely, positively, dead.

[the-heaminator]

Shit kept going in and out of focus if it wasnt spinning and unfortunately both often happened at the same time, he wanted to vomit but he knew he couldn't, he had wisely avoided eating anything substantial recently, surviving mainly off crackers because eating meant he would vomit, probably during the meeting, and attract far too much pity for what he's worth.

Just had to hold it together for a bit longer, he could go dry retch in the conference hall bathrooms in about 5 minutes he just had to pull his shit together, and he managed to do so, disappearing for the bathroom as soon as he could. Right side of his head pounding like there was no tomorrow, dry heaving into the toilet, and sitting exhausted on the lid once he was done.

He knew he was not to "neglect" himself like some said he did, eating and sleeping were natural human instincts, but the governmental turmoil had given him an everlasting headache and the sheer internal anxiety of it all allowed him to stomach next to nothing.

His room was a mess, it had been for a while, but wrappers had started to pile up upon his bedside table, sweet sugary things mostly, in an attempt to keep his blood sugar just high enough to avoid tanking miserably.

He hoped no one in particular noticed his unironed suit or the lack of cufflinks he exhibited, he was too tired right now to really think of the little details.

God he just wanted to puke and curl up and sleep for a week but he knew it wasnt possible, the nausea wouldn't go anywhere and the headache wouldn't let him sleep.

Standing as unobtrusively as he could as nations milled around, waiting for the conference to officially nd so they could go sleep in their hotel rooms. Lucky bastards.

The meeting was taking place in London, and his flat wasn't too far away, he just needed to drive a bit, he was fine, he could drive, this was certainly not to be a safety hazard.

Unbeknownst to him Canada, Matthew even, stood quite near, wanting to approach his father when he found the right words to do so, Arthur hadn't been in a good state since 2008, and only seeming to get worse with the government changing in and out with the blink of an eye, another recession looming and the lonliness of it all.

Oh dear if he was thinking like that he really was too far gone.

Shaked out of his dreamy stupor by dint of Matthew poking him on the shoulder, he examined Matthew's face with what clarity he could muster, he looked concerned methinks, or worried, mayhaps both. His second son, forever a pillar of spineless love and devotion, in a way that truly scared Arthur, was concerned for him, visibly.

Oh he really had fucked up now hadn't he.

"Yes Matthew, what do you want?" Trying to dispel the concern away from him, it usually worked with most people but Matt was always far too good at figuring him out.

"Arthur...you don't look so good."

"Oh I'm fine, don't you worry." Practised nonchalance that was.

"Are you sure, you don't seem to be fine?"

"And what makes you say that?" That should get Matthew off his tail, he was spineless as previously mentioned, he wouldn't go against him.

Though Matthew intook a deep breath and said "You're slouching for one, I heard you dry heave in the bathrooms, your face is incredibly pale and you dont look like you've eaten in a while, or drank anything that wasn't alcoholic for that matter, your breath reeks of booze and tobacco." Another deep breath"

"Your eyes are unfocused and your eyebags are worse than usual. Also you've been writing in a bad mix of French and Latin for the past half hour."

Oh Matthew really was on to him, but was it that noticeable!

"You are not driving in such a condition Arthur."

"Hang on a bloody second, why is that? I am perfectly capable of driving thank you very much."

Matthew gave a terse smile with tired eyes thatt clearly conveyed he was not to be fucked with right now "No Arthur, no you are not driving and right now I'm prepared to force you into your car and get you home."

Arthur silently wondered where such strong feelings of protection directed at him came from in his children, and he certainly didn't understand why they were as strong as they were in Matthew specifically, but he was at the end if his rope for arguing, and just gave in. Which concerned Matthew even more than before, Arthur didn't just...give in, and this could barely be considered a fight.

Arthur walked out to the car park and located his car and just let Matthew sit in the drivers seat, not even commenting as Matthew bumped his head after not stooping down enough to sit in Arthur's rather small car, a thing that if doe on a good day would have warranted either a lengthy lecture or a sharp exhale, but it seemed as if he didn't even notice.

Off they went, they avoided eye contact, Matt wanting to focus as he was not particularly used to driving on the left side of the road, and Arthur seemed to silently stare out of the window, sometimes making a face to himself as if he had just eaten a lemon, before reverting to an unredable expression.

He didn't exactly know what was going on in Arthur's head, he had no way to know, but perhaps the weather and the stress had git to him, it wouldn't have been the first time for any of them,though the older nations seemed adamant in refuting this claim.

But for now it seemed like Arthur needed food, sleep and perhaps some comfort, if he would accept it of course.

[ze-pie]

I'm so excited for the news of a new sk8 season you have no idea 😭 I really thought we'd be getting a movie at best

I scribbled down a bunch of my thoughts and hopes for season 2 so read on if you're interested! (Warning, very long, and half of that is bc i ramble about renga lolol)

-

My god i can actually make a list of things id love to see in Season 2 and not be like "no dont do that bc then youre gonna get your hopes up that there will even be a s2" but its actually happening holy shit lol ok anyways:

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1. ARREST ADAM. IM NOT FUKN PLAYING LOL GET HIS ASS ARRESTED AND CHARGED FOR SUMTHIN JESUS LORD. Literally my only major criticism with the show is that Adam didnt go to prison by the end of the season so it HAS to fuckin happen this time. I want that red haired investigator lady to win so bad please catch his ass.

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2. Ever since this idea was planted in my head, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, but I want the sk8 gang to travel! Like not just to a hot springs like I want them to travel and skate across Japan and even elsewhere (bonus points if we somehow get Renga in Canada), I think the change of scenery would be really interesting, especially if they went somewhere like Tokyo. I'm just a sucker for friends traveling arcs in general, and this also could go hand in hand with my next point:

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3. I think it would be interesting if "S" died out at some point this season, whether through Adam arrest (🤞) or bc of the aforementioned traveling we just dont see much of "S" this series, or if the characters simply grow out of "S" naturally (honestly the one I'd most prefer.) I think it would be another good ride home to the central theme of the show about doing things you like bc they're fun and not bc of any clout or approval ranking. 

And honestly, I think we've explored as much of "S" as we could while keeping it interesting. Not to say there shouldn't be more competing, that's like half the show lol, but i think the location of "S" will start to get a little repetitive after a while. This is why going somewhere like Tokyo would be a perfect refresh of the format, bc you can skate in new locations with different types of people than the typical underground flamboyancy of "S" (as wonderful as it is.)

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4. Matchablossom past!🍵🌸 I'd love to see it, this is definitely not the ship that receives the most of my love in the show but I do still enjoy watching them, so id love to get some nice meat to their relationship for me to keep sinking into (〃^∇^)ﾉ

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5. It was hinted that Koyomi would become a great skater in due time and I'd love to see that realized! I think she'd make a fun addition to the sk8 gang and personally I think Koyomi and Miyas personalities and snark levels would make for the funniest fucking comedy I just, I can hear their mean spirited chaotic banter from back here.

I know some people like to think they'd be wholesome friends but like,,,,, they're both little shits,, what you think you put them together and they'll just. Get along?? I mean maybe, but for me it sounds funnier if they just cant stand each others guts but are also, hilariously enough, inseparable (which maybe is too similar to matchablossoms shtick but I feel like that's more married couple bickering than anything so I feel like it'd be different enough.) Like they're both little shits but they're little shits in different fonts so they're still little shits to eachother god give it to me.

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6. ALSO LITTLE BROTHER MIYA BIG BROTHER REKI PLS ITS THE CUTEST THING IN THE WORLD TO ME I WANNA SEE MORE OF IT

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7. I also want to know more about Reki's friend that stopped skating (and Reki's past in general), and I wouldn't even mind that skate friend temporarily returning to Reki's life and giving Langa certain... complicated feelings >:)

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8. Obviously wanna know more about Langa's past as well. Did he have any family on his dad's side? How did his dad die? Are we gonna see more flashbacks/scenes where the Japanese voice actor is trying his damndest to sound like he's fluent in English? Will I have to be subject to hearing that once more? Who's to say.

(ok, wouldn't it be so cool tho if they did have full scenes where langa is speaking english, but they went and got the english voice actor to do the lines??? I feel like that would be so cool and his voice is so similar to the japanese va that it wouldn't even be jarring switching back and forth)

((i dont know anything about how voice actor laws work or if this is at all possible but a girl can dream lolol))

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9. i cant fucking believe theres a season 2 i m justbrbeshagw i cant do itmmtgus

i was gonna say i can die happy but thats a lie if i die i cant watch season 2 and it might not be out till at least late next year oh god i have to NOT DIE TILL THEN OMG ILL BE SO MAD

renga renga renga RENGA RENGAAAAA,

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OKAY actually on that topic, last note, hopes for Renga:

10. I don't want Reki and Langa to get in another big fight again like last season. Not that there was anything wrong with their s1 fight as a story device, bc I reaaally liked that conflict. It made sense with their characters and gave them both a bit of introspection on who they are as people, and who they are to eachother, and what the other truly means to them, and it ultimately brought them closer together. I just want that to stay true this season.

And I guess I shouldn't say fight, they're totally allowed to get into arguments and maybe even intense ones (as cute as their reunion was, they clearly didn't actually talk about everything that was bothering them, and I couldn't tell if that was anime being anime or teenagers being teenagers. Maybe both?)

I just don't want them to be made to break up again. Conflict between them is fine (it could even be spicy depending on the context >:3c) but I don't want it to drastically sever their connection like last time. It would be nice if it's like: "Okay, this is clearly a problem, and I am upset, but I now know that ghosting you isn't the answer, we have a true bond somewhere here, and I think we can get through this" I am not a script writer lol but you know, show a bit of growth! It would be lovely to see.

And hehe definitely self-indulgent but this point could actually be swayed for me if the situation is an explosion of jealousy and unacknowledged more-than-platonic feelings, creating a different kind of emotional tension than last conflict, where its less about self esteem issues, inadequacy and betrayal, and more of: "I might be in love with him, but I cant tell him bc I honestly don't even understand my feelings myself, and that stresses me out, and now were both stressed out and we don't know why bc were dumb teenagers who don't know how to communicate our feelings.😭"

lol obviously this^ is very dependent on of course there actually being a romantic storyline between the two, which like, actually it typing out with words as if its a possibility.... i can practically see the clown nose and wig materializing on my desk ready for me to put on lol i refuse to entertain that it's a possibility for my own sanity.

If there's anything I for sure want to see as their relationship develops, it's learning how to communicate, cause I still think there's a few things left unsaid between them (esp on Rekis part, things that Langa might like to at least be aware of?)

🛹🛹🛹🛹🛹🛹🛹🛹🛹🛹🛹

Overall I will simply be happy just,,, seeing my boys doing things again, hanging out together, new canon adventures 🥲🥺 I'm so happy, another full season of my babies ❤💙❤💙❤💙

[whentherewerebicycles]

i am still not really here (1-2 weeks left in my tumblr/fandom break), but i need to just process the big decision i’ve made and then i need a bunch of friends on the internet to tell me that i am doing the right thing so i can fully let go of the decision anguish.

i’m moving to seattle this summer

i don’t have a job yet but i am slowly, painstakingly working on it

my sister, brother, and my brother’s wife live there, as does one of my best college friends, as does la who i am going to make write with me and also teach me about the seattle kraken (or whichever niche pair she is extremely into at the moment).

i’m feeling really unsettled and uncertain about leaving a place i’ve lived ten years and kind of half thought i might live at least another decade if not forever. i feel optimistic and excited every morning and then crushed by fear and doubt by evening. it’s the same rollercoaster every day, but i still feel that sickening drop.

but idk. the political situation in this country and in this state just has me so depressed and exhausted and ground-down these days. the dobbs decision is obviously playing a big part in my decision (i want to try to get pregnant in the next 2-3 years and this isn’t a safe/okay place to do it anymore) but i feel like uvalde was really the turning point, just the moment of total clarity where i was like: i think i need to get out of here. gun violence is terrible everywhere in this country but at least i don’t have to live in a state that worships guns. this is a bad place to be politically and climate stuff is just going to get worse.

austin feels so different than it did when i moved here. i’ve only been here ten years and i know i was part of the wave that changed it but it just feels.. i don’t know. it feels too big and too tech-y now and i just... i don’t really love it here anymore. i know that’s all true of seattle too but at least it’ll be a place where it was always that way for me, rather than a place where the culture and demographics of the town changed around me. idk. i love my people here and i loved my time here - my grad cohort is the best, best, best. but i feel like a lot of things are weakening my ties to austin and to texas and i think that means it’s time to go.

i really want to be closer to my family

i want to live in a naturally beautiful place

i want to live in a blue state

god i want to live in a blue state

i just really want to live in a blue state

i feel shitty leaving the south when i think the south needs sane people who give a shit about other human beings. i feel shitty leaving texas when i love the kids i get to work with so much and when i’ve spent so long thinking about how important it is not to abandon the state to these horrible people. but man i can’t live here. can’t raise a family here. i was emailing this week with my boss, whom i love and whose opinion i respect a lot. i was voicing some of these conflicted feelings, wondering if i was cutting and running instead of digging in. and she wrote back three minutes later: “fuck the south is my current mode. we must create our own sustainable communities and cultural worlds.” 

i have a feeling ‘fuck america’ may be my own future mode so i would kinda like to live near canada for a bit and have the chance to scope it out, yknow. see if it’s a place i could take up permanent residence one day. idk man. we are living in end times aren’t we? sorry i meant this to actually be a post about pros and cons of moving and instead i guess i am just spiraling a bit about politics. that’s just being a person in america these days.  

i’m going to miss my familiar places here. my places and my people and my routines and all the little things that have made this home for ten years. but it’s time to go.

it’s time to go. it’s time to go

it’s okay. it’s time to go.

[trekwiz]

I want to talk a little bit about last year's news: the hundreds of native bodies found buried under church grounds in Canada. A fraction of the tens of thousands who went missing from those churches.

It's really easy to see the faceless institution of The Church as being responsible. It's a mammoth organization. Of course bad things are going to happen. It's easy to accept that the structure is fascist, but individual Christians are fine.

When you think about Christians, you probably think of your friend who leads a youth group at your church. Or the one who organizes the pot luck. The ones really active in after school programs. They're in the streets of your community feeding and clothing those who have it rough. They may even be performing creative arts to bring the community together--music, theater, crafts. You see them as great people; selfless. They're not capable of these things.

Consider who would be working at a church boarding school for natives. Most likely, it would have been everyone you just thought of--possibly even you. It's not the guy who grudgingly shows up on Sunday and listens to the football game but isn't really invested in the whole thing. It's the ones at the heart of the community; it's the ones who are active in the church. They've got stories of helping these poor native kids bandage a wound after soccer. Stories about teaching them English--some funny stories about a particular pronunciation mistake. Stories about the cute little clothes they wore that stood out. They probably spoke about those kids as if they were their own. They're the happy people who love creating and building community. You might have even called them the most Christ-like; their dedication is unparalleled.

But these people did horrific things, and death was not the only thing those kids suffered. They had their culture stripped from them. They were forced to leave their parents. They were forced to pray to a god that wasn't theirs. They were abused--in every way imaginable. They were killed, by disease and by violent force.

Christians did that. The good ones. The ones who give the most engaging youth program presentations. The ones at the soup kitchen. The ones handing out decorations and stickers. Your best friend in church is the person who would have actively committed genocide with a smile just a couple decades ago. And, face it, they're one law away from doing it today--listen to how they talk about trans people. Listen to how they talk about gay people. They speak about "helping" and "protecting"--but the things they describe doing as "help" are disgusting, awful things.

Christians haven't changed; the re-rise of fascism in the US is distinctly Christian in nature. If you managed to be a good person despite your Christianity teaching you otherwise, consider this: why would you continue to associate with an organization that openly incites and engages in genocide every time it's legally allowed to? And actively fights to maintain its right to commit genocide when society starts to improve? What does your conscience tell you about your implicit acceptance of continued human rights violations and serious atrocities? If you're a better person than that, why fly the same banner?

At the end of the day, by remaining Christian, you're actively deciding, "I'm ok with being the face of genocide. I'm ok with humanizing these atrocities. I'm ok with helping the religion to survive so it can keep engaging in these indefensible human rights violations." No matter how much you want to wave it off, this is what you represent if you continue to be a Christian. No matter how many qualifiers you add, this is you. Are you really ok with that?