#god I say this so respectfully but cole is so pretty like

[pepperuni]

Wanted to post a drawing I did of Cole Wallows here :) could definitely do the upward perspective better but I like it!

[jenyifer]

I’ve read 10 more books let’s get a rec list here for future use for people to look up on my page or alone.

Disclaimer:I think reviews and opinions show a lot about who you are and your life exp so. I am a woman lover who is 30 with ADHD. I am cisgendered she/her. I like listening to books on my drive in and out of work. I’ve read and watched a lot of scifi and fantasy and these books reflect that too.

In order of most loved:

1. Most Ardently by Gabe Cole Novoa 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈⏳ Historical Romance. this beautifully crafted novel moved me to tears. Set in a historical, mundane world, it captures the essence of the original while offering a fresh perspective.

2. Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh 👯‍♀️🏳️‍🌈👽🚀now MC Romance very very low I like to think she’s a little bit some where in the ace spectrum but 🥹🥹 Avicenna gives you enough gay vibes trust me. It is a real journey. MC is broken out of her brainwashing and tries to save the Earth and Universe. It’s high Sci-fi fun. I really loved it.

3. The Last Binding Trilogy by Freya Marske 🏳️‍🌈👯‍♀️🏳️‍🌈🪄⏳🔎 Alright each book is from a different intertwined couple’s POV. Each book is very much historical wizard mystery’s found family. Each book has steamy interesting spicy scenes. I find this series more impressive now because I still think about the couples and its universe was fun. Side note the last couple is the best.

4. The Tithenai Chronicles by Foz Meadows 🏳️‍🌈⏳🪄🔎 it’s more historical than super magical but both books have decent mysteries. It’s about an arranged royal marriage one comes from a conservative country suffering from trauma which we get to see but is treated respectfully and not harped on and the other is a warrior who is a little neurospicy. So Velasin is so dear to me I forgive a lot because he’s baby and I love him. They have non binary characters and disabled characters in the story being treated like people. There is some very spicy scenes in these two books. The new character in the second book so amazing they reminds me of Tennal from Oceans Echo in spirit anyway. I liked them. But his spicy scenes had me blushing for days. A con of this book is it’s very emotional so depression trauma warnings.

5. Sunbearer Trials by Aiden Thomas 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🦹🦜 I can’t believe I forgot to do a review of this one considering I really enjoyed it. So it’s YA dystopian Latin America folklore kind of like superhero and god goddess. Really heart warming found family coming of age. Also in the vein of hunger games etc. I loved the universe and the structure of the world. Each character was well developed throughout the book. Main character is someone you want to see succeed. I’m so excited for book 2. Lots of neurospicy peeps represented in my opinion.

6. Simon Snow Trilogy by Rainbow Rowell🏳️‍🌈🪄🧛🏻🐲 Also YA feel book one has a lot of Harry Potter jabs but it’s not a direct parody. I also think in book 2 3 they take jabs at diff genres which was fun. The series is very funny has perspective from all the characters. The universe is interesting. Romance is decent. Lovable characters. It isn’t good to think too hard about anything.

7. The Unbroken by CL Clark 👯‍♀️⏳👑🪄 this book would be higher up if I wasn’t iffy on the main couple individually I’d rank both leads pretty high on best characters. It’s a book about colonialism political magic rebellion found family. It’s action packed it’s interesting with a good mystery. A disabled main character and a more male presenting lesbian with is something new. Touraine is going to do what Touraine thinks in her heart while Luca serves with her brain and wallet.

8. So this is ever after by f. t. Lukens 🏳️‍🌈👯‍♀️🪄👑⏳ Does what it says on the tin is YA. Medieval setting with standard fantasy quest group. Very easy read.

9. Out of the Blue by Jason June 🏳️‍🌈🧜🏻‍♂️🎬🎓very YA vibes. Very romance. About a nonbinary mer person on their journey out of the ocean to help a human and a film obsessed gay chubby human on his journey to get over a relationship. I would have this book ranked higher except for the ending and School vibes do kind of make me cringe.

10. Temperature of You and Me by Brain Zepka 🏳️‍🌈🦹🔎 about a boy whose skin is fire and human who works at a dairy queen. Mystery is weak some holes in the plot.Romance very immature. School age kids.

Okay so audible had a sale anddd I got a couple titles on there (if I have to spend a fortune on gas and tolls I’ll spend a small one on the books that keep me sane) and I have 4 Libby audiobooks checked out. I still have a hard time with wlw books. Or too much thinking. It needs to hit a sweet spot for me since I’m usually driving in hard conditions so can’t use the super brain on the story. Anyways any suggestions or recs would be welcomed!!!

[archadianskies]

wingspan

→ on Ao3

@dbhrarepairs Monday Day 1: Post-Apocalypse •  Sacrifice; Hank Anderson/Rose Chapman TLOU AU

“Alice needs medicine.” It’s said in a whispered hush, paired with nervous glances over at the feverish child labouring in bed. “Her coughs are wet and her chest sounds congested.”

“Adam’s still about a week out from being able to drive back here,” Rose chews her lip, shaking her head. 

“Doesn’t matter,” Hank shrugs, “I’ll make the exchange by myself.”

“No!” Her voice is stern, her gaze even moreso but she knows it won’t dissuade him. They both know this has to be done.

“Make the call. Luther can help me load up the truck and I’ll go.”

“Hank-” Kara, sweet Kara with anguish on her face weighing her down, wearier and wearier with a sick child already. 

“I’ll get it done, for your little girl,” he pats her hand and there’s conflict mixed with her gratitude. “Luther will keep everyone safe here while I’m gone.”

*  

They’re easing into winter and they all know if he doesn’t go now, there won’t be a chance later when the roads are covered in snow. Doesn’t mean Rose is any more comfortable with the plan, not when the world isn’t what it was and every single day they’re out here they know they’re all on a knife’s edge.

“The cold slows them down,” Hank tries to placate and she raises one brow and he drops that line and goes for another. “I’ll be careful.”

“You better,” Rose says firmly and eases the beanie on his head. “North’s making the drop this time.”

“Doubly, extra triple careful then,” he mutters. North’s tempestuous at the best of times, so Hank knows there won’t be any casual banter or interesting snippets of news exchanged with the goods. 

Usually Josh is the one he meets with, sometimes Simon, and on that one occasion which he still is half-convinced never happened- Markus himself turned up. Jericho is one of the largest communities flourishing in the aftermath and has a functioning hospital, and the Chapman farm has, well, fresh vegetables and poultry. It’s a good relationship in this hellscape, one that gives him hope for a future.    

 *  

“Truck’s all loaded,” Luther thumps the hatch as Hank makes his way over. “If you leave now you’ll make it back before nightfall. I’ll keep an eye on the house, I promise.”

Hank claps his shoulder. “Thanks Luther, I’ll be back as soon as I can.” 

“Thank you,” the man murmurs, his voice more like a deep rumble in that broad chest. “Thank you for doing this for us.”

“Hey, I’d do anything for her,” it’s the goddamn truth and he isn’t too proud to admit it. “I’d do anything for any of you.”

“Be safe,” Luther squeezes his arm. “It’s your turn to read to Alice tonight, remember?”

“Wouldn’t dream of missing it.”

*  

He pulls out of the driveway, sparing Luther one last glance in the rearview mirror before it’s just him and the road and all the thoughts he tries so desperately to keep at bay. It’s been ten years since the outbreak, ten whole years since that cursed day he held Cole as his son bled out in his arms. It’s been nearly five years since Rose Chapman found him, half mad with grief and nearly feral with hunger yet too stubborn to die. 

He doesn’t really remember the years between Cole’s death and him wandering onto the outskirts of Rose’s farm. She’d saved him, continues to save him day in and day out because he has a purpose here, he matters here, and there are people here he’d kill to protect. 

Once the initial wave was over, once the violence cannibalised itself, people did what people do best- they come together, they rebuild, they reconcile, they strive forward. It doesn’t mean it’s completely safe, it doesn’t mean it’s all smooth sailing, but Hank can see a future now where he couldn’t see one before. 

 *~*  

There’s three kids walking along the tree line; it’s a blink and miss situation, but he definitely didn’t miss it. Three kids, all alone, heading somewhere but nowhere close enough they’ll make it by nightfall. Ah shit. Hank pulls over and the kids are smart enough to dart for cover.

“You kids alright?” He takes out his gun and sweeps his gaze around, trying to spot any infected who might be lurking nearby. 

“We’re alright!” One of them calls out.

“Shut up Connor!” One of them hushes the one named Connor.

“It’s only a couple of hours until sundown and there’s no camp you can reach safely on foot in time,” Hank approaches slowly, keeping his voice low. He sees them now, all three of them, skinny boys in ill fitting clothing with backpacks too big for them. 

One of them has a bandaid stuck to an old crusted wound right in the middle of his forehead. The other has a bandage wrapped around his forearm, brown with age. And the last one is pointing a gun at him.

“We said we are alright.” The one holding a gun says icily. He can’t be more than ten, yet the look in his eyes says everything; the boy has been through things a ten year old shouldn’t have, but then the same could be said about most children in this hellscape.

“Two of you are hurt. I’m going to Jericho and-”

“Jericho?” The one named Connor perks up. “We’re going to Jericho!”

“Shut up Connor!” The other says exasperatedly, and Hank can see they’re identical twins with the only difference to be found in their expressions.   

“I can take you there. Plenty of room in the truck.”

“What will it cost us?” The one with the gun demands, and Hank shakes his head.

“Nothin’. I just don’t want you boys out here all alone, especially once it gets dark and the temperature plummets,” he tries to reason with them, but can’t fault them for their caution. 

“We managed to make camp just fine,” one of the twins says stubbornly but Hank can see it, can see that small hopeful expression he’s trying so desperately to mask.

“I’m sure you did, and I’m sure you can tonight. You just shouldn’t have to, that’s all,” he gestures at his truck. “This way’s pretty deserted but Jericho’s much safer and the truck’s much faster than going on foot. What do you say?”

“If you try something funny, Ronan will shoot you,” the stubborn twin threatens, and Hank nods.

“Alright.”

 * 

It’s a tight squeeze but three boys under ten are about the size of one grown man so it spares Hank the effort of rearranging the produce on the back. There’s a blanket Kara crocheted on one of the seats, and he tucks it over them and doesn’t miss the way they snuggle closer, huddling for warmth. 

“Is Jericho nice? How long have you lived there?” Connor asks after a while.

“Jericho is very nice. It’s big and safe and there’s other kids in there too,” Hank explains, “but I don’t live there. I live on a farm down the other way, and we supply vegetables and chickens to them in exchange for meds and materials and shi- stuff.”

“You’re making an exchange now?” The one named Ronan asks quietly, the gun still held tightly in his hands now resting on his lap.

“Yeah, uh, Alice, a little girl about your age, she’s sick,” Hank spares them a glance. “Her cough’s getting pretty bad so we’re hoping to get some meds to help.”

“Maybe they’ll have something for me there?” Connor says so softly Hank barely hears him.

“Are you sick? What do you think you need? I’m sure they’ll have it there.”

“You’re not sick!” The other twin hisses, and Connor huffs stubbornly.

“That’s the problem Sean, and maybe that’s why I need help!”

“Wait, what do you mean by that?” Hank looks over at them and both boys click their jaws shut and refuse to meet his gaze. 

“It’s fine,” Ronan says, the ice back in his tone. “We just need to get to Jericho.”

*   

They spend the rest of the drive in silence, and Hank’s glad when the large gates loom up on the horizon. He doesn’t drive up to the main entrance, but takes a side road and stops the truck by a clearing where there’s another car waiting.

“Hey Hank,” the redhead greets with a lazy wave, leaning against the trunk.

“Hey North,” he nods respectfully as he kills the engine and hops out.

“Oh,” she blinks in surprise, “new survivors?”

“Yeah I picked ‘em up on the way,” Hank gestures over at them before busying himself with removing the tarp over the cargo. “They were headed this way so I thought I’d get ‘em here safely.”

“Doc will want to check them over,” North looks at the boys and Connor is the only one who offers a wave. “It’s just protocol of course.”

“They’ll need her help anyway- Sean has that wound on his forehead and Connor has the bandage on his arm,” Hank looks over his shoulder at the boys. “Blood looks old but it can’t hurt to give it a once over and a dressing change.”

“And the other one who looks ready to murder me?”

“That’s Ronan. He’s holding a gun.”

“Clever boy,” North smirks, coming around to the driver’s side and peeking in through the open door. “You boys want to come stay here with us, you have to get checked by the Doc first okay?”

“Okay,” they chorus obediently and Hank finds himself grinning helplessly. 

“Got the meds and some honest to god wool yarn for Kara,” North informs him as she loads up a crate onto the back. “Otto farm about six hours away made the exchange and I kept a couple of skeins for her.”

“She’ll love that, thanks North,” he pats the crate happily. “And we all profit it from it, so…”

“It’s more an investment than a gift,” she grins before beckoning to the brothers. “Alright kiddos let’s go. Come in and grab a coffee Hank, while the guys unload the rest and refuel.”

“You’re a saint, thanks.”

 *~*  

Jericho is a nice place. It’s a really really nice place. It’s full of life and learning and healing. No matter how hard others try to take this place for themselves, no matter how much violence they try and inflict, the sheer resilience of its people keeps the place running. That, and well, having nearly an entire SWAT team complete with a Captain in residence can’t hurt. 

Far better, kinder, saner team than the rabid FBI team led by Prickins from a few years back who tried to destroy Jericho and take it for themselves. The whole debacle saw over half of Jericho burned to the ground and dozens slaughtered. 

It’s when he and Rose took in Kara and her family, because the sheer trauma was too much for Alice to process and she could never return. Adam stayed on as a nurse and found his calling. It feels like a lifetime ago too.

*   

He takes his coffee over to the little clinic at the side entrance where newcomers are screened because he wants to make sure the boys are alright.

“This is a burn,” Adam frowns as he inspects the wound on Sean’s forehead. “How did you get this?” 

The boy doesn’t answer, looking over nervously as doctor Anthea unwraps the bandage from Connor’s arm.

“Oh my god-”

“Fuck!” The expletive leaves his mouth before he can stop himself.

“It’s three weeks old we swear!” Connor cries, nursing his arm to his chest, tears in his eyes. “It’s three weeks old!”

Before Hank can comment any further he’s being slammed to the wall, North placing a gun under his jaw. “You brought a fucking kid with a bite into Jericho and expected to leave him here?!”

“I didn’t-”

“He didn’t know!” Ronan shouts, clenching his trembling hands into fists. “We didn’t tell him in case he left us behind!”

“He should’ve left you behind!” North growls.

“It’s old,” Anthea raises her voice. “The teeth indentations have healed over. This is new scar tissue right here.” She’s gently tracing the mark on Connor’s arm, the boy’s bottom lip trembling as tears spill down his cheeks.

“How the fuck is that possible?” North steps away and lowers her gun, too shocked to be angry now it seems. “Everyone who’s ever been bitten turns after eight hours at the most.”

“He must be immune, then,” Anthea smiles in disbelief as she smooths Connor’s hair away from his face. “You are one of a kind, Connor.”

“We keep him in holding overnight,” North declares, crossing her arms over her chest. “Just to be sure.”

“No, you keep us together!” Sean spits, fuming at the mere suggestion of separation.

“I don’t have time for that, I have to get back to Alice!” Hank argues and North cocks her brow.

“No one’s asking you to stay, Hank, you can go.”

“Bullshit! I’m not letting you lock up these kids outside of Jericho’s walls!”

“You can go, you got us to Jericho, you don’t need to do anything else!” Ronan adds and oh Hank can see it, Hank can see the fear of being left alone in those big grey eyes. 

“I’ll go, I know the way,” Adam offers, holding his hand out for the keys. “It’s my home, after all. I’ll be back in the morning.”

“I’ll spend the night in holding, then,” Hank nods as he hands over the keys to the truck. “Tell Alice I’m sorry I’ll miss storytime.”

“You spend the night in holding,” North orders as takes his gun from the table and presses it back into his hand, “and you put him down yourself if he turns.”

“And then us too,” Ronan says in a voice so steady, so resigned for a child. “If you shoot him, you have to shoot us too.”

“It won’t come to that,” Hank says firmly.

“For everyone’s sake, I hope you’re right,” Anthea runs her fingers over the bite on Connor’s arm again before gently thumbing away his tears. “I guess we shall see in the morning, hm?”

* 

The holding area must have been a security control room at some point. It’s now been caged by wire completely, with a chained and padlocked gate. He must be losing what little sanity he has left, but at least he’s not losing his compassion. No way in hell he’s about to abandon three boys to an uncertain fate, no matter how brave they’re trying to be.

“You could’ve gone back to the farm,” Ronan points out as Connor curls up on the lumpy mattress under the covers with his twin.

“Yeah I know,” Hank shrugs, nursing his coffee mug. Simon had left them with provisions to last the night, including a large thermos of coffee because he’s an angel in this apocalyptic hellscape. 

“What if we’re lying and Connor turns and kills you?” Sean demands, though it’s not so effective given Connor’s clinging to him tiredly. 

“Then I’d die,” Hank offers them the soup thermos. “Alice is still getting her medicine tonight, so that’s perfectly fine.”

“Don’t you have family at the farm?” Ronan accepts the thermos and pours out a cupful, handing it straight to Connor. 

“Losing me won’t be that big a loss for them.”

“That’s a lie! Everyone has someone who’d miss them!” Connor shouts, nearly spilling the soup in his outburst. Hank admits defeat there. Rose would miss him, he thinks, because she’s all heart and soul. 

She took him in when he was a husk of a man and together with Adam they toiled and tilled the land, took in every broken survivor and sent them on their way to Jericho with a full belly and provisions to spare. And Hank shot anyone who ever dared to raise their hand against Rose because people like that, greedy fuckers who want to take and take, have no place in this new world. 

“What happened to you boys out there? What happened three weeks ago?” It’s The Question and no one seems to want to answer it. 

“We wanted to go to the stream to see the fish,” Ronan eventually starts quietly. “We snuck out because Amanda didn’t give her permission.”

“It’s all my fault, I shouldn’t have insisted,” Connor stares into the soup as if it could offer comfort. “I just really wanted to see them.”

“We didn’t see the infected one until it was too late and it bit Connor,” Ronan reaches over to hold his hand. “We tried to hide it but it was bleeding a lot and Amanda heard us in the bathroom getting the first aid kit.”

There’s a pause and Hank realises Sean hasn’t said a single word, resolutely avoiding everyone’s gaze. 

“She dragged Connor out the back and-” Ronan falters, pressing his lips into a tight line as he darts a look at Sean. “She gave Sean a gun and told him to shoot Connor as punishment for sneaking out.”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Hank swears, recoiling in horror and it makes sense now; the small burn mark on his forehead is from the shell casing hitting him.

“She made you do it, Sean, I don’t hate you!” 

“Well you should!” Sean yells. “You should because I pulled the trigger!”

“She made you do it!” His twin insists, squeezing his hand. “She made you and if you didn’t she would’ve killed you!”

“So I killed her,” Ronan says evenly, as if he’s simply stating the sky is indeed blue. “I took the gun from Sean after he missed, and I shot her in the chest and after she fell over I shot her in the head.” Ronan looks at him defiantly. “So we’re fine. We can look after ourselves, you don’t have to care about us.”

Hank slowly sinks to his knees, taking the cup of soup from Connor and setting it aside before gently gathering the boy into his arms and reaching for the other two. He’s a big guy, he has enough wingspan for all three, and he enfolds them in as tight a hug as he can manage and that’s it, that’s what sends the last of their defences tumbling down. They cry loudly, the trauma of it all finally being given a proper outlet and he holds them and he vows to himself that he’s never letting them go. There will be no more Amandas in their life, not now, not ever again. 

“Takes us with you,” Connor sobs. “Don’t leave us here.”

“We’re leaving once Adam gets back. All of us,” Hank promises. “I’m never letting you out of my sight.”

* 

He’s used to watching the dawn, used to getting up this early now to feed the chickens and collect the eggs. He’s even used to waking up with a child still fast asleep on him, now that Alice treats him like a grandfather. There’s something different about this moment, though, with all three boys snuggled against him. 

There’s something hopeful about this because it’s eight hours later and he’s still whole and alive and unbitten. And that means Connor is indeed immune. With Sean being an identical twin, that means he too could carry the natural immunity. The hope of the entire world, fast asleep in his arms. It’s a beautiful sentiment. 

“Good morning Hank,” greets a voice at the gate and there’s Mister Markus Manfred himself; Jericho’s saviour and leader. “It’s good to see you.”

“Is Adam here yet?”

“Not yet,” the man shakes his head. “But Simon made breakfast for you and the boys. They’ll have a room near the creche with the other children, and we can get them settled in afterward.”

“We’ll have breakfast, and then as soon as Adam gets back, we’re heading for the farm,” he meets Markus’ gaze steadily. “They’re not staying.”

“Hank, Dr Anthea told me Connor is immune. That means we could work towards developing a vaccine.”

“You still can,” he shrugs as best he can with three sleeping kids piled on him. “We can make the trip every weekend. But these boys are coming home with me.”

Markus looks at him, scrutinising him, and Hank can see both the leader and the saviour at work, weighing up the pros and cons and trying to find the common ground for the greater good. Hank would never want to be in his shoes, no sir, no thank you.

“Breakfast, then?” Markus smiles one of his charming presidential smiles as he unlocks the gate and gestures towards the entrance. “Simon made pancakes and we cut up some of the strawberries you brought over from the farm.”

“Pancakes?” Connor stirs sleepily, rubbing his eyes and there it is, there’s the bite on his arm, three weeks and one day older. 

“Yeah kiddo, pancakes for breakfast before we head home.”

“Home,” Ronan echoes with a soft smile. 

“We’ll be good, we’ll help out on the farm and work extra hard,” Sean whispers nervously, and Hank runs a hand through his sleep-tousled hair. 

“I know you will.”

* 

Connor and Sean Dechart are ten years old- very nearly almost eleven, Connor points out. Ronan Dechart turned nine two weeks ago, a birthday forgotten entirely in the struggle to survive so Hank makes note to bake a cake. Their parents had died in the initial outbreak, and Professor Amanda Stern had taken them in after finding them hiding at the nearby university where she taught. The story unfolds on the drive back to the farm and the more he learns about their time with Amanda the more he’s glad Ronan shot her and shot her again. 

Luther greets them on the driveway, Alice bundled up in a thick down jacket and blanket sitting on his arm. She waves enthusiastically, cheeks rosy and smile bright and Hank feels his heart squeeze in his chest at the sight. Rose is standing on the porch and she’s giving him A Look and he wants to say sorry reflexively but he’s not actually sorry for anything. 

Alice takes Connor’s hand and drags him inside, the boys trailing, and she announces loudly that she’s giving them the grand tour. Luther claps him on the shoulder before following Alice.

“You just can’t help yourself, can you?” Rose sighs heavily as she pours him a generous mug of freshly brewed coffee. Her tone is reprimanding, but there’s something fond in her eyes as they take a seat at the dining table. 

“I couldn’t leave them,” he shakes his head. “Not out there on their own, and not even at Jericho. Not after all the shit they’ve been through.”

“Because you’re a parent, Hank,” she says it so softly, so gently and his breath hitches in his throat. “You’re a father. It’s just what you do. It’s just who you are.”

“They’ve been through hell, and they deserve better. They deserve a second chance.” His vision blurs as he raises his head and looks at you. “You taught me that.”

“I did, and now you’re teaching them that,” Rose is smiling, a big radiant smile and he can’t help but lean over to kiss that beautiful smile. As far as second chances go, he reckons this is about as perfect as it gets.

[captainbetonit]

Room for more chapter 8

~.~

The next few days went well, and as those days bled into a month. Nearly to the date Pixel came back for a check in for the kids. She trusted her friends but needed to put that aside for the well-being and safety, so here she was checking on them.

It was raining that fateful day, near pouring from the dark grey clouds. Thanksgiving will be in a few weeks, the rapid drop in temperature was an odd sensation that she wasn’t prepared for. She didn’t need to knock before Cole opened the door with a smile.

“Hey, come on in.” He greeted her, opening the door.

“Thank you, now you know why i’m here?” Pixel got straight to the point, she wasn’t here as a friend.

Cole nodded, “Of course, now Zane wasn’t sure if you wanted to talk to the kids first or us so both are in the living room.”

She nodded before she brought up their file, it was rather thick and contained the information for both brother and sister. “I’ll talk with the children first, I'm trusting that they're ok.”

“In our words yes, but you have to take their word for it.” Cole simply shrugged, in the end it was up to the kids.

Pixel nodded again, before moving to the living room where the two children sat playing with toys. They did seem happier then when she’d last seen them, more like children.

Zane came out of the kitchen, apron tied around his waist and a tray of drinks in hand. “Hello Mrs. Borg, welcome.”

The children looked up from their toys and smiled at her, Kai seemed hesitant with his greeting but did so nonetheless. “Hello Mrs. Borg!” The two greeted before giving Zane their whole attention.

An exchange of pleasantries and drinks commenced, mostly small talk and such before Pixel cleared her throat, “I would like to speak to the children now please, alone.” That statement made the room feel so much colder.

“Of course, kids go with Mrs.Borg. Show her your rooms and such.” Zane motioned for the two to follow Mrs. Borg when they made no move.

Kai eyed her with caution, he knew she was a nice woman and from he was told she was fair and sweet. But social workers weren’t always nice, they seemed nice but weren’t what they seemed. Nya mostly followed her brother in mannerisms, but never really thought. Like when all the doctors thought her Mama was gonna be fine and she died a week later-or when dad said he’d be back. Nonetheless the two followed Mrs. Borg up the stairs and to Nya’s room where the children share the bed while Mrs. Borg sits in front of them.

~*meanwhile*~

Anxiety was a son of bitch, so much so that Cole was cursing every single god to let him be at peace. Granted that probably wouldn’t happen seeing as they didn’t have much to worry about-they shouldn’t have anything to worry about.

“You're pacing a hole in the carpet dear.” Zane mentioned as he sat with a book on the couch and some tea.

“Surprised you aren’t joining me.” Cole snapped before stopping and wincing, “I’m sorry babe, it’s just been really stressful lately.”

Zane sighed as he closed his book before rubbing his eyes, “I know my dear, but please calm down.”

Cole, now tired, collapses on the couch next to his husband. “I hate waiting.”

Zane guided Cole’s head to his lap and started to card his fingers through thick black hair. “As do I, my love, but if we waited this long then perhaps it’s worth the wait.”

The two were silent for a moment, the house rarely creaked but as the silence went on it felt like the house was moving with the wind of the storm.

“Are we good parents?” Cole asks as Zane picks up his discarded tea.

He was silent for a moment, contemplating his husband's words. “I like to think we’re doing a good job so far, but only time will tell really.”

“I’m not talking about that,” Cole sits up and faces his husband, “I’m talking about are we doing the right thing? Like could we be holding them back, are we taking them away from an uncontacted family member, are we doing things wrong and not knowing it?!” His voice rose an octave, panic of unknown answers to rising questions loomed over him like the storm clouds outside.

Zane wasn’t going to lie; questions like those often plagued his mind. It was times like those when he wouldn’t sleep-couldn’t stop the thoughts that reminded him that what they were doing could have been taken away so quickly.

“I like to think we're doing the right thing-we’re hopefully doing the right thing. Maybe we're helping them, or maybe we’re like our parents and don’t even know it. I…” Zane trailed off, the thought of being like either of his fathers was a difficult one to handle. Dr. Julian was a good man, just not a great parent; never really being there for his kids and favoring one over the other. His other father, Arashi was far more old fashioned with just about everything especially parenting. While he was there for things, It always felt like nothing was good enough for him, and in turn neither Zane nor Echo were good enough.

“We’re definitely better than our parents-no offence. I mean we’re going through all these hoops just to be here.” Cole thankfully interrupts Zane’s thoughts. “Plus we’ve done a lot to get here and made progress with Kai.”

Ok that was undeniable-when Kai first got there it was tense and full of trial and error, Nya while younger and mostly followed her brother in terms of what he did. Both have grown so much in the past month, opening up to them and feeling like a family.

“What i’m trying to say is, we can try and hopefully succeed?” Cole gently brought the conversation to a sorta close.

“I suppose your right, but that will never truly answer our questions.” Zane reached for his husband, seeking comfort. “And that’s good right?”

The two were quiet for a moment, before little feet were heard coming down the stairs followed by the sound of Pixels heels.

The two children joined the older on the couch and leaned deeply into their warmth. Whatever they talked about upstairs was clearly behind them.

“Alright so after i take a look around then you can go back to domestic life.” Pixel smiles as Zane detached himself from Nya’s hold on him and led her around the home for her to deem safe for the children.

~later~

They passed the check with flying colors, the kids were happy and very safe. Education wise Zane had gotten them workbooks and brought them to speed with 5th and 1st grade respectfully so they could both go to school in the spring. If they were still in their care by then anyways.

Nonetheless things were actually going well for the family, it was perfect.

Then they got a call, rather late at night actually from Pixel who sounded frazzled and stressed.

Zane picked up his phone around 3 am, answering the call without looking at the caller ID. “Hello?”

“Hey Zane-quick thing.” Pixel wasted no time with introductions or greetings. “Seeing as you and Cole are foster parents and while I know you already have two children under your care-” Pixel cut herself off with a quick ‘excuse me’ to supposedly yell at someone.

Cole turned to his side as Zane sat up and clicked on the bedside lamp, “What's happening? Who is it?”

Before Zane could answer Pixel talked to him “Can you take a baby-maybe 9 months old?”

Zane was silent for a moment, needing some time to process her words. “Um, can i talk to Cole for a second then I can talk.” He hung up the phone before letting the phone fall and falling backwards into the pillows himself.

“What happened?” Cole himself turned on his bedside lamp before following his husband and collapsing onto his pillows.

“Pixel wants to place us with a baby.” Was all Zane said. That kind of shocked Cole, when they had first considered fostering they had been open to much younger kids. Now though seeing as they already have two kids-did they really need a baby?

“Do you want to?” Zane asks, before pausing, “Foster the baby I mean.”

“Honestly, we should do it.” Cole answers after a pause. “I mean we're doing pretty good with Kai and Nya and the system doesn’t help kids at any age really.”

He turns to his side, waiting for Zane’s response. He knew Zane wanted a baby, hell when they were in highschool Zane took many babysitting jobs be it with his younger brother or the neighborhood kids.

“I think we should as well.” Zane finally answers after the minutes start to stretch. “But what about Kai and Nya? They should be consulted on this, it’s a very important decision that they should have a hand in.”

“Call Pixel back, and we can talk to them in the morning.” Cole advised as he got up with his phone. “I’ll call in sick so we can all talk this over.”

Before Zane could tell him about the rain from the afternoon Pixel picked up, “Zane, hi. Did you both talk about it?”

“Yes, we’d love to foster the baby but why did you call at 3 in the morning?” Zane also got up from bed-he’d might as well check in on the kids.

Pixel was silent on the other line for a little while before she sighed heavily, “Well seeing as i was handed the baby at 2 am i figured it was better than nothing. And you did answer so.”

Zane was quiet for a second, “I’m sorry what?”

Pixel sighed again before answering, “Watch the news in the morning and you’ll understand ok? So when can i come with the baby?”

“Umm, in two days maybe? We have to talk to the kids and get everything ready.” Zane leaded against the hallway wall. “..What’s their name? The babies?”

“His name is Lloyd, he's nine months old and i think you’ll love him.” He could hear the smile in Pixels voice before his phone pinged. “I sent you some general information, I'll talk to you later ok?” They exchanged goodbyes and hung up.

After checking Kai’s room(it was empty) and then going to Nya’s to see the siblings cuddled close in the bed. After a quick picture of the two he closed the door and went back to bed. Cole was back, the bedside lamp turned off. Zane turned off his light and went to sleep.

Tomorrow is going to be hectic.

[talesfromthefade]

For DWC: "You owe me." Any pairing ❤️

Eloise Trevelyan x Cullen Rutherford (Pre-Trespasser) for @dadrunkwriting

“You should tell him,” Cole whispers softly appearing at her side as she makes her way to where her advisors are waiting for her. The spirit doesn’t specify who or what he is talking about, but Eloise knows all too well anyway.

“I’ll take that under advisement, Cole,” she promises, though she only half means it, and is sure the other can tell as much even as he disappears again to attempt to help some other, hopefully more cooperative soul. She owes him an explanation, of course, will have to talk to him about it eventually, but the prospect of doing so... Of adding to still more to his many burdens and responsibilities without any possible solutions. How is it she’s faced down and fought dragons, demons, a Tevinter would-be god, but the thought of Cullen’s face when he sees what the Anchor has done to her fills her with dread?

“Eloise, wait- please,” the Commander adds hastily, calling after her as she starts to take her leave when they’ve finished discussing the upcoming trip to the Winter Palace. It’s a rare enough thing for him to use her full name, much less to use anything but her title whenever they aren’t alone in stolen moments or evenings to themselves that she halts her steps in spite of herself, biting the inside of her cheek to hold in her frustration and anxiety.

“Ellie,” Cullen calls now, softer this time as he closes the gap between them and gently takes her hand between his own, amber eyes brimming with concern searching her hazel ones. She holds in a shudder, and later still a wince as he carefully works her arm and hand from the Dragon-skin gloves she’s wearing, turning it over and examining it carefully with a deepening frown as he sees where veins of flickering and illuminated green have begun traveling still further up her arm. The skin looks scorched around it. It feels like it’s on fire, the Fade itself trying to burn its way out of her. Even the Elderflower tea hardly touches it now. “Ellie,” he repeats shaking his head, his choked voice echoing a little in the now otherwise empty room, Josephine and their new spymaster having respectfully taken their leave to give them their privacy.

“It’s getting worse,” he assesses sadly as a feather-light touch draws an involuntary shudder from her, and he rips the offending hand away, only to carefully draw her into his arms instead, tucking her head under his chin and breathing her in. “That’s why you’ve been keeping the odd hours, not coming to see me in my office anymore, not coming to bed or-” he continues softly, shaking his head.

“I didn’t want to worry you,” the young mage admits, avoiding his gaze, feeling suddenly small and rather ashamed.

“And avoiding me doesn’t come down to the same thing? I knew something was wrong, but I- I thought perhaps I’d done something,that you were upset and needed some space,” he continues as Eloise shrinks a little under his scrutiny.

“You can’t fix this, Cullen,” Eloise replies finally in her defense with a heavy exhale.

“Maybe not,” he concedes, still frowning. “But that doesn’t mean you should have to carry the burden of it all by yourself,” he presses, doing his best not to let his temper get the better of him. She doesn’t need him to scold her. She had only been doing what she thought was best by trying to protect him. He just wishes that she might recognize it for the unnecessary gesture that it is. He doesn’t care if things are difficult, not pretty or less than ideal, he wants to be at her side, always, for better or worse.

Better or worse, he thinks, turning the phrase over again in his mind once more. Maker’s breath, but he wants to spend the rest of his life with this woman. Now, however, is hardly the time or place for such a revelation, or any declarations to that effect. He pushes it instead to the back of his mind, along with the thought he should write Mia to ask about their mother’s ring.

“I tried to go see the horses yesterday-” she whispers softly, finally letting herself break down as he continues to hold her. “But they’re afraid of it. Afraid of me. Even Brandy,” she admits tearfully. “And now this council...” Eloise mumbles tearfully into his chest, shaking her head. “Everything is coming apart.” Even me, she thinks, the unspoken words hanging between them. “I’m scared,” she admits, gazing up at him.

Maker, so is he, but instinctively, however often he might fumble things like this, Cullen knows that’s not likely what she wants or needs to hear, not something that will give her any comfort. The sudden memory of when she found him in the Chantry praying for the Inquisition, for her two years ago coming back to him.

“There’s no place else I’d rather be. No person in Thedas I’d rather be with,” he promises gently. “Whatever happens, wherever the Maker would see us go, we’ll do it together.”

“Cullen,” she chokes softly between large, hot tears. “You deserve-”

“Far less than everything you have given me,” he interrupts, shaking his head. “Which is why I’m not about to let you go so easily.” He must, he thinks, have stumbled somehow upon the right thing to say as she sags gratefully against him, before her own arms wrap gently around his waist. “You’ve been working too hard,” he whispers, nuzzling against the crown of her head and earning a soft chuckle. “Yes, if I’m saying as much,” he says voicing what she is no doubt thinking. “You should rest.”

“Stay with me,” she asks tentatively as with particular care for her hand and the mark he hoists her up into his arms to carry to her chambers.

“Of course.”

[mailmom]

Ok. Once again, spoilers :)

There’s a lot more to say because this game is better. I still like the first one more. BUT we know why lmao (Sasha my beloved come home). All things considered inFAMOUS 2 is a banger game. I’m still upset though.

So Cole gets a whole ass personality change. His girlfriend is gone, Kessler is dead, the world is on his shoulders for some reason, it’s not like there’s 50 billion other conduits I mean seriously there’s not a single other conduit that can fuckin take down the beast? It’s gotta be the dude with electricity? Because Kessler says so? Cole is a entirely different person. Loving goofball, but still knows his goal and is stressed to high hell. He’s smart. And a dick. He talks more. And a dick. He’s a dick. He’s like “oh yea my buddy Zeke that betrayed me after I treated him like shit? Yea he’s my buttboy now because he wants to get on my good side. And its literally Zeke acting the same way he did in the last game. Zeke is my boy. Zeke makes Cole this weapon where he can like put his electricity in. Pretty sure they call it the amp.

So we meet Lucy Kuo, and she’s an NSA agent, all bossy and shit, and is babysitting Cole and Zeke on the way to meet Dr. Wolfe. He’s one of the people that created the Ray sphere, and NOW he’s created something that’ll kill the beast! Way more powerful and will get the job done. So it’s got y’all thinking, what the fuck is the beast?! Like, is it a conduit???? Right??? Or just some weird artificial monster??? Well. Shit. Fuck you. I don’t know. But when you find out you still won’t care. Because what the fuck.

Well, as they’re on their way to leave the beast just shows up. The game JUST started. I mean it’s the second cut scene right now. He’s destroying empire city. And Cole’s like “haha guys watch this.” Watch nothing because Cole gets milly rocked and they flee to the south. Now we r in new Marais!!! Wooooo. We finally meet dr Wolfe and he explains the device strips a conduit of their powers!! It’s so quirky and cool it’s like the last episode of ATLA. Cole is down w it, but it turns out the city their in is being controlled by this god fearing ugly ass haircut having loser who hates conduits. They DESTROY Dr Wolfe’s lab, kill Dr Wolfe, and Lucy gets fucking KIDNAPPED. We meet Laroche who’s a nam veteran. We meet Nix who I am respectfully staring at. She can control NAPALM. What the fuck. Like she can ignite it. She’s been beefing with the militia aka bertrands butt boys. Laroche is leading a group against Bertrand as well.

Turns out, when they rescue Kuo, she’s a fucking conduit, and she has ice powers. She was used to get the life sucked out of her, and her powers were used to be put into others (this sounds familiar) and create conduits. Kuo is having trouble with her powers but apparently her and her old buddy John white, which we remember from the first game, both knew they had the conduit gene.

Lets fast forward!!! Bertrand is a fucking conduit who’s using his powers to kidnap people and make them into swamp monster type bitches. For fucking what. Turns out Bertrand was a member of the first sons smile isn’t that fucking cool. Bertrand killed hundreds of people including Nix’s mom trying to get the powers he wanted, and Nix was in the blast radius. When Bertrand found out he’s an ugly stupid mother fucker he’s like nvm conduits kinda blow let’s kill them all. Nix decided to befriend the monsters but they get killed. By the beast. The beast is here.

Well, they killed Bertrand. Who gives a fuck. Fuck that guy. RIP. Now Nix is pissed.

Cole’s minding his business, and this long tan and handsome fucker shows up with his red button up shirt open and is like “oh hey cole”

Cole turns and is like “…….John white? I thought you died” and John does an orange justice and explains that he did but he’s back and he’s a conduit.

WHY DO WE CARE ABOUT JOHN WHITE. WHY IS JOHN WHITE IMPORTANT. I DONT FUCKING CARE. THE LAMEST FUCKING REVEAL EVER. JOHN’S THE BEAST. JOHN IS LIKE “YO COLE WE CAN SAVE ALL CONDUITS AND KILL HUMANS WHATTAYA SAY??”

Suddenly johns spitting mass extinction of non conduits and he wants humanity to suffer or some stupid shit. Some eugenics shit. Cole is like ok I hear you I see. I get it. Alright let me consult my squad. Also Laroche is dead smile.

Cole pulls up to everyone like “hey uhhh the beast is John white” Kuo with her stupid ass is like “oh johns alive? Cool.”

Fuck you. Shut the fuck up. Did you miss the part where Cole said he’s the beast and he wants everyone dead? So Kuo is like ehhh ok maybe we can work with him, and Nix is like you stupid ugly fucking bitch we gotta kill him?!?!??? He’s fucking tearing the U.S. up and then the world like fuck you. When they try to use the RFI, aka the machine that’s “more powerful then the Ray sphere” turns out it just kills conduits. It just, kills them. They planned this. It’s supposed to wipe out all conduits. Takes all genetic conduits and just BRRRRRRR DEAD. And nobody wanted to tell them til last minute. So after recovering from nearly dying, Kuo is like k imma go suck him off brb I don’t wanna die lol and leaves. Nix sacrifices herself to stun the beast. And Cole, after fighting Kuo for like 2 minutes, finally sets off the RFI. Cole, Nix, Kuo, all the conduits, dead. All of them. Yep. Every conduit dies. And Zeke and the rest of humanity are no longer sick and are gonna be alllllright. Series over.

But no. No, fuck you. There’s another game.

Explain infamous

Spoilers for infamous but this game is old as shit so I don’t really care

There’s this dude, bald and he’s like a delivery man and one day he gets a call where the guy is like “I’ll slide u a 10 if u open this package for me” and delivery guy is like bet and opens it and the fucking city explodes bruh?? Not really tho it creates a crater tho and ppl died fr like it’s a giant blast right. It’s called the “blast” so everything I just said fuck it it’s the blast. He wakes up, (his name is Cole) and he’s like bruh and his friend Zeke is like hey uhhh what’s going on and he’s like lol I can control electricity and Zeke is like :) ok. Anyways he has a girlfriend that finds out he “caused” the blast and turns out his girlfriends sister died in that blast so everyone’s mad at him and says he caused it but he’s like ?? I literally almost died too but he survived so you know. So he tries escaping the city but gets stopped by this woman who’s like hey I’m an FBI agent my husband went missing and he has a Ray sphere, the thing that caused the blast? Go get it for me. Cole’s like yea fuck it I don’t care. Suddenly Cole’s getting calls from Moya like “yea some fuckin drug dealers are poisoning the water supply????” And Cole’s like “why do I care?” So he gets weird telepathic messages from some crazy lady that’s like “hey remember when we were together?? And had sex?! And we were a couple and had plans and shit??? I’m gonna kill you now” and Cole’s like “Ma’am I have no clue who you are I just wanna take a nap dawg”. And this weird old dude is following Cole everywhere and is giving him visions of the “FUTURE OOO SPOOKY” and everything’s dying and shit, and Cole’s like “Yea??”

So anyways this younger but old dude is like “rawr xd there’s this Kessler guy he worked w my dad uhhh he’s gonna naenae all of us idk but I want revenge so I’m gonna kill you” and Cole’s like “I literally did nothing what tue fuck is going on” Cole fights the weird yandere lady who’s name is Sasha (LOML I miss her come back) and she’s like “dude my powers made me all skinny and ugly and it’s gonna happen to you if you don’t help me with my pyramid scheme of makeup products”

So Cole is like who’s the first sons who is Kessler who r u and Sasha’s like “so no head?” And gets kidnapped by Kessler who is the old man on the roof in a trench coat yea yea you know. Cole finally finds Moya’s husband John and John is like “yea I’ve been spying on the first sons for a while so I’m on the run also I’m not married” and Moya’s like “haha get pranked but seriously pls don’t let anything happen to the Ray sphere” and Cole is like “should’ve known you weren’t married with that shitty hair cut” and Moya is like “kys”. Fuckin old man jenkins Alden has the Ray Sphere and Alden fucks off and when they go to grab the Ray sphere Zeke is like “hey remember when you called me a fat piece of shit and wished I committed not alive? Yea I remember that you bald ballsack of a fucking friend” and joins Kessler. Cole is like noooo my buttboy:(((( yea the first sons r an organization that made the Ray spheres and does in humane experiments idk

John fucking DIES from trying to grab the Ray sphere and then Cole gets a call that’s Kessler like “so 1. I’m torturing Sasha I know u don’t care nobody does but 2. I’m currently hanging ur wife in town square and if you don’t come save her she’s gonna die homie” and Cole is like :)

So he shows up and Kessler’s like “k u got two choices you either save these doctors or ur bitch wife” and Cole’s like “SOLD RUN ME THEM DOCTORS” and Trish fucking dies and is like “yea sorry for being a bitch, sympathy head?” And dies.

Finally Kessler is like “ok I’ll fight u now let’s go” and Cole is like “aight,,,,,,,,, hold up you kinda look like me” and it turns out Kessler is Cole from the future woo spooky and has been training Cole behind the scenes to make him a better conduit (power person idk) so he can defeat the beast which is a conduit that????& don’t know????,?:?/??/ has fuckin fire power lava volcano monster boy powers???????? Doesn’t matter, Kessler went back in time to basically raise Cole and Kessler is like “and now I die” and it turns out Sasha had an affair w Kessler when she worked w his organization and that’s why she’s in love w Cole bc it’s just Better Kessler (tm). I didn’t explain It but I’m sure u caught that. Who cares fuck Kessler. Worst fucking villain ever. Not really he’s actually dope as fuck but I just hate infamous. /hj /j /srs