#god I can’t remember who said it and I feel so bad I’m sending strong brain waves in hopes it gets to you

[pebblezone]

Thank you to the enlightened soul that said ‘the hate fucking must be crazy though’ about gonzoverse sertegra

[httpknjoon]

(re)starting over again | kth; 10

plot | Your four-year relationship with Taehyung was going well and strong. Until he was involved in a car accident, resulting to him losing some memories. By some, it means everything that happened five years ago. Things he remember? His friends, his bakeshop, and his ex girlfriend from the past. With that, you tried to keep up, restarting over again.

words | 4.3k+

genres | fluff, angst, amnesia au

pairing | taehyung x reader

warning/s | -

note | oh my god. hi, everyone! i'm still alive haha i apologize for the *long* delay. may wasn't my month 🙃 but now, i'm here and I split this chapter, so expect a 10.5. this is A LOT OF ANGST. no fluff for now. just full-on gloomy. also, i'll be replying to everyone who sent their asks soon! tysm for sending 'em. again, i apologize for the delay! enjoy reading :)

main masterlist | series masterlist

Someone’s a little gloomy today.

The sound of echoing thunder woke you up today, along with the rings of your alarm in your phone. 5:15 AM. You groaned as the brightness from your phone’s screen hit your vision. After five more minutes of just staring at the most uninteresting wall in your room, you get up from your bed to prepare for work.

Unsurprisingly, your head feels heavy and so is your chest and eyes. Every step of your bare foot on the ground strangely felt like you were floating into space. The weather is cozy and cold, but you didn’t even flinch when the cold water hits your skin. You stood under the shower, the heater not even on, just staring at your feet.

I mean, he could have told me.

The sentence popped into your head. There is this part of you that is in between the scale of angry and sad after knowing about Lily visiting the bakeshop and talking to Taehyung. You wondered if Taehyung even had planned on telling you or if he don’t think he should have told you. You are starting to think he was only friendlier with you these past few days because he learned what happened between him and Lily.  You’re beginning to think that he is only nicer to you now after bad their relationship went.

But did he even owe me that? I’m basically a stranger to him.

Another idea, opposite the other one, crossed your mind. You always try to be understanding and put yourself in his shoes in this confusing situation. The fact that your boyfriend doesn’t really have any idea who you are always staying in the back of your head. It’s always there as a reminder that Taehyung doesn’t know you. And his not telling you that he met up with his ex-girlfriend days ago confirmed that you are probably someone in the background for him. Someone… who suddenly lives in this house with him.

And thanks to that confirmation, more questions were formed by your brain.

You shut your eyes close and turned your head up, feeling the waterdrops on your face. Sighing, “Who even am I here?”

Taehyung, what am I even to you here?

The question floats in Taehyung’s head over and over again. The pain and confusion in your voice also play on a loop, adding weight to his shoulders and thorns in his throat. He wished he could answer that question easily, but he can’t. Seeing someone who treated him with care and kindness break down in front of him because of him is a slap on his face.

Because Lily is your girlfriend… right?

More guilt built up in him when he learned that you were aware that he still initially saw Lily as his girlfriend after he woke from the accident. It surprised him to hear you say that you cannot be mad with that. When you said that, he almost instantly wanted you to be angry at him, to let out every emotion you were feeling at the time.

Because you are too considerate and kind… and patient with him and this situation you’ve been put into. You didn’t even have to stay; you could’ve just left him the moment the doctor told you about his amnesia and all. But you stayed… and even looked after him for a whole month. Looking back at everything now, he knew. He should have just told you.

He thought you would be mad at him for reaching out to an ex. He didn’t know how you would react if he asked about Lily. He didn’t know you and he admit that was his fault. He has been working on knowing you these past few days, but now after last night, it felt too late. He should have made an effort earlier than this. As much as he hates it, Taehyung’s list of should haves is getting longer.

Now, a tray of chocolate chip cookies bakes in this oven you two have in your kitchen. He decided to make some after having trouble sleeping. He was shifting and turning on his bed for hours, possibly because of two causes: his head injury and you. Earlier, you were talking about how much you’ve been craving cookies. He knows that his cookies cannot resolve what’s going on right now, but he hoped that they will make you feel better. Even a little.

Taehyung managed to sleep for a couple of hours but still woke up later two hours past midnight. He quietly prepares and bakes the ingredients for the cookies. He was quick as it was the easiest pastry he can make. By the time he was putting the tray in the oven, he heard grumbles of thunder.

Should I put it in the jar? Or…

Almost thirty minutes past three, Taehyung yawned as he waited for the cookies to cool down before he stores them. He looked around your kitchen. In these quiet moments, he is finally starting to notice some details in some corners of this place. Particularly, the kitchen.  He wondered if he picked the color of the walls or what to put in it when you two bought the house. His curiosity begins to grow about what you built together throughout your four-year relationship.

He wondered how great everything was before he lost his memories of the last five years.

You were supposed to leave at six o clock. But you didn’t realize how much you took your time with your thoughts that you ended up leaving twenty minutes late than your plan. Rushing to leave, you didn’t bother for breakfast and ran straight to the front door in your scrubs and jacket with backpack and umbrella in hand. If you still have time to spare when you arrive at the hospital, you’ll just buy something in its cafeteria.

As you get off the bus, you speed-walk to the hospital. You were too in a hurry to recognize who greeted you along the way, but you just greeted them back anyway. By the time you reached the locker room, you were catching your breath with less than ten minutes left to prepare for your shift.

Thank God, Jisoo’s not here. You sighed when you looked at yourself in front of the small mirror in your locker. Your eyes… were puffy. It’s not that bad. But everyone who will look directly at your eyes would tell the difference. You hoped no one else would notice.

“Good morning!”

Your eyebrows raised. Julia’s jolly greeting filled the quiet room when she entered. A couple of nurses who were also there greeted her back while you hid behind your locker door, trying to think of a quick remedy or even an explanation for your eyes. Because next to Jisoo, Julia is your closest friend here. She started working here two years ago. Her kind and sociable nature made her a friend to everyone. You three immediately went friends during a mutual graveyard shift schedule.

“Hey, YN. Good morning.” she opened her locker, which was next to yours.

You gulped, “Good morning, Ju.”

After one last look in the mirror, you closed the door. Julia was busy organizing her things in the locker, while she continues speaking.

“Jisoo’s already on break for her wedding, right?” she asked, still not giving you a glance.

“Ah, yes. For only one week though.” You replied, trying to act normal. You don’t know if you should go or wait for her to time in since you two usually do—with Jisoo if your shift schedule match up.

“You know, my dress for the weekend is still in the— Oh, what happened?”

In a quick glance, she immediately spotted a certain emotion on your face. Concern was written all over her face as she stopped and faced you.

“W-What?” you chuckled awkwardly, looking away.

“Why did you cry? What’s going on?” she asked softly, still worried. “Are you okay?”

Oh, that question. You don’t know what the hell that question has, it always breaks you down. You bit your lower lip as you looked back at Julia. You tried to hold on to the strings that were putting you together.

You sighed shakingly, “Yeah.”

A small, sad smile formed on her lips, “You sure?”

You feel like if you try to say anything again, it will just turn into a sob. So, you just nod. Unexpectedly, she reached out her arms and hugged you. Julia knew something was wrong. Well, she can definitely read through your eyes and the simple quirk of your lips that you probably don’t know you do whenever you’re bothered or tired. She can even feel the weight you’ve been carrying in an embrace.

“How about let’s go out together later? After this shift?” she offered.

 

“Sure.” You agreed, washing down any effort to put a useless mask on your emotions.

The cookies that he left on the kitchen counter for you were left untouched. He left it in a Tupperware, something that can fit in your backpack, along with a small post-it, written: cookies u can bring @ your shift today :)

He likes to think that the Tupperware probably went unnoticed by you instead of thinking that you ignored it. But what if you did? The idea of you being mad at him scares him.

“I swear, whoever will eat those cupcakes would choke on rainbow sprinkles.” Jimin entered the kitchen when Taehyung was just spacing out. He hung his coat behind the door and put on his apron. “What’s up?”

“Hmm?”

Jimin went on, “I arrived twenty minutes late and you already made two batches of blueberry cupcakes, one tray of snickerdoodles, and a lot of banana bread. What’s going on?”

Taehyung stared at him for a second, having battles in his head if he should tell his best friend about what happened. Jimin didn’t fail to remind him about telling you about Lily. And if he learns how you reacted last night—Oh, just sucked it up. Taehyung exhaled.

“YN learned about Lily.”

Jimin raised an eyebrow, “You told her?”

“She found through Lily herself,” Taehyung replied and he can read the confusion on his friend’s face.

“Huh?”

Taehyung went on telling how you and Lily introduced yourselves, how you introduced yourself as his friend, how Lily shared that she visited the bakeshop just last week, and how you remained quiet and bottled up with emotions until you two went home.

“She was so upset, she didn’t want to talk about it,” Taehyung recalled. “But she just broke down and she is still so nice in the middle of telling me how she feels. She told me that she cannot be mad at me for meeting up with Lily or for everything else. Because she understands. She always understands and I’m sure she is a wonderful person– but… But I really didn’t just give us a chance. She reminded me that we also happened after asking me who is she in this whole thing.”

He paused, remembering almost every word you said to him last night. He was too busy chasing what happened five years ago that he ignored someone and something important in his present time. 

“Then, who is she to you?” his best friend asked.

“I… I don’t know.” Taehyung sighed, unsure. “But she’s not a stranger. Calling her a stranger would be an insult. I know she’s much more than that.”

There was a few seconds of silence. Taehyung looked down, resting his hands on his working table. Jimin just pats his shoulder for comfort. He knew saying things like I told you so or anything close to that is just useless. Taehyung already knew what he had done, he don’t need more reminders that he probably fucked up. 

“Well, you need to figure that out.” 

“I know.”

“I don’t know anymore, Ju.”

You wiped off the tears on your cheek as you confessed. Finally, after a whole day shift at the hospital, you get to open up to someone. As soon as you two left the hospital and changed into your casual clothes, Julia drove you two to her apartment since you don’t really feel like going anywhere. She ordered pizza and non-alcoholic drinks, which were delivered just minutes after you two arrived there.

No time was wasted. She didn’t even have to ask again for you to open up. For the last forty minutes, you’ve been telling whatever you feel like sharing to your friend. It did take off some weight on your chest as she listened and nods.

“I mean, I know that he’s just trying to know what happened between him and his ex. But I cannot understand why he didn’t tell me… Or maybe ask me about it. I know something about it. He told me how they broke up years ago. He told me what went wrong. Just like how I shared experiences with my past relationships too. And that’s how it used to be.” You reached for another tissue Julia offered. “We used to tell each other everything. Communication and honesty always mattered to him.”

“And it would have been nice if he let me know about his plans on talking with Lily. It’s perfectly fine by me. But he didn’t and now I’m starting to feel that he sees me as nothing. Just a person around him, who lives in the same house as him—or worse, he sees me as someone who just looks after him… like his nurse.”

The last thought squeezed your heart out. Taehyung even had a hard time introducing you yesterday to Lily. You took the initiative to introduce yourself to his ex as his friend. You don’t know what to feel about it. Should you be mad or sad? But can you blame him? You can never blame Taehyung. You always try to understand what he went through with that accident and what he is going through now. But as much as you hate to admit it…

“I feel like I���m burning out. I’m fucking drained.”

Another tear rolled down your cheeks while you shake your head. Saying that sentence felt like a confession of a crime. You don’t know why. You didn’t follow with another sentence again. Julia gave you a glass of water to help you calm down.

“You can take a break too, you know?” she whispered as you gulped in the liquid down your throat. “You can pause…”

Julia was gentle with her tone and choice of words.

“I think, you've already done enough. You took a month's leave to take care of Taehyung, to at least help him adjust to these big changes happen. You waited for him to ask about you or your relationship, which he did– Well, he tried. You are great. You were nothing caring and understanding for him and your relationship.” She paused and held your hand, preparing you for what she is about to say. “But he… he just has his eyes on people he knew before you.”

You almost hissed with the harsh sentiment of your friend. It felt like someone pulled the band-aid off your fresh, unhealed wound. But still, it felt like you needed to hear that. Julia, on the other hand, saw you flinch and held your palm tighter. 

She continued, “The Taehyung you met before the accident is different from the Taehyung you live together now. As you said, five years ago, he went through a breakup with his ex. That breakup may have caused changes in him that made him into the Taehyung you initially met.”

It’s complicated. But you get what she is trying to say. A lot of things happened in Taehyung’s life before you two crossed paths. He broke up with Lily, and his bakery began to hit success and invest in other stuff in his life. A lot of other changes happened. Then, you two met through mutual friends.

“And please, YN, let yourself feel things.” Julia spoke suddenly, making you meet her gaze, “It’s unhealthy. Be sad, be mad, or be happy. Or simply take a break if you feel like it. Don’t deny yourself of feeling anything. You can be mad.” She said it like a reminder. “You have every right to feel so. I know you’re trying to justify Taehyung reaching out to an ex behind your back as part of this knotty situation. But at least, out of respect to you, he should have at least told you before or after he did so.”

“That’s why you’re so burnout right now, hon. You’ve done nothing but give and give. You forgot about your limits too… Are you even still okay working in the same hospital after everything?”

She asked and almost instantly, you remembered the night of the accident. You were waiting for your boyfriend to pick you up in the same spot you always waited in. Then, you received this call. Next thing you know, you’re seeing him getting pulled out of the ambulance. Bloody and bruised. Your stomach twisted with the recollection of his state that night. Thankfully, Julia called your name, snapping you out of your trance.

“Just know that you’re not alone in any of this. You don’t have to carry everything on your own. Jisoo and I are always here for you.  And I really appreciate you opening up to me now.” She smiled softly before pulling you in for another hug.

After that hug, you two moved on to lighter topics. You asked her about her preparation for Jisoo and Namjoon’s special day at the end of the week. She talked about Chanyeol, her plus-one for the wedding. She shared about how things are going and you’re genuinely happy to see her happy. You ended up leaving at seven. Julia offered to drive you home, but you kindly refused, saying you need to be alone for a short while.

“Okay, just let me know when you got home.” She smiled and of course, was enveloped in the warmest hug you’ve ever received recently.

Just like when you left home earlier, the sky was dark and gloomy as you wait at the bus stop. Raindrops began falling just minutes after you got on the bus. You sat on the farthest empty seat your eyes spotted. Watching the raindrop rolling on the glass window, you thought about Julia and everything she said.

Change.

You wondered if change can help your emotional burnout while leaning your head on the cold surface of the vehicle. Truthfully, working in the same hospital after the accident is difficult. The first day you returned after your month-long leave you found yourself stopping in your tracks at every spot your feet took you that night of the accident. You also don’t enjoy the pity glances or smiles you get from your colleagues who knew about the accident. There were times, someone would approach you and say something nice or motivational. You appreciate the effort but it’s making your work more of a reminder than a distraction for what happened.

You get off the bus with a new idea and even more uncertainties in mind. You still felt like a deflating balloon floating your way to get home. After your breakdown, you wonder how Taehyung would react. He seemed pretty quiet last night. The Taehyung you know would prefer talking with you to at least mend these issues. But now, you’re really just tired and would rather organize your thoughts alone.

And when you walked up your front porch, you stopped as you saw the lights on in the kitchen. He’s home early. You turned the knob, preparing yourself with any awkward tension that is always suffocating. Walking in, a delicious smell of flavor filled your nostrils. You’re not planning to say anything but then, he greeted you.

“Oh, hey…”

It was short but soft. His lips formed a small, tight smile. He was indeed cooking as he holds a wooden spatula and you can hear the crinkling sound in the pan. You noticed he is wearing a familiar apron and a headband, exposing his forehead, to avoid his jet-black hair in sticking on the sweaty corners of his forehead.

“Hey.” you greeted back, forcing a polite smile on your lips. “You’re home?”

Taehyung noted the lack of any emotion in your voice or even eyes. You just looked exhausted. But he replied, “Yeah, we kinda closed early.  Sold out.”

He smiled again, hoping that maybe you would smile back at him. You didn’t. Instead, you zipped your lips. And there it is. The awkward silence took over--not only the kitchen—but the whole house. He looked at you and you looked at him. It didn’t even last a couple of seconds. You looked away again, scratching your eyebrow.  

“I should probably go—”

“I’m making dinner. Maybe—"

You two broke off the silence at the same time. You waited for him to continue but his nod asked you to resume.

“Yeah, uhm, I should go to my room.” You mumbled, not meeting his eyes. You just can’t.

It’s Taehyung’s turn to scratch the back of his neck, “Uhm, I made dinner. I was wondering if we can eat together.”

You timidly shake your head, “I’m kinda full… I had pizza with Julia. But thank you for the offer though.”

You were about to leave, wanting to leave this room since you were having the hardest time breathing with the thick tension. But Taehyung called your name,

“I was hoping we can talk… about everything.”

You turned around, finally looking at him. Suddenly, his heartbeat was louder than anything else for him. He can already see the rejection on your face. Like you’re not in the mood for anything that had to do with him. But he wishes his deduction is wrong. On the flip side, you can see his fingers fiddling with the spatula as he said that.

You exhaled, “I can’t, Taehyung. I really had a long day. I’m sorry—”

“No, it’s okay. Don’t apologize. We can talk whenever you’re ready.” He awkwardly raised his hands for thumbs-up. He saw your worried eyes landing on the dish he cooked. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll store it when it cools down. You can microwave it later if you get hungry.”

A simple, worn-out nod was your only reply before leaving him alone. His smile slowly fades as he turned down his chin.

He waited. Patiently. The morning after that, he waited for you to leave for work before he does. He goes home before you do. He prepared breakfasts and dinners for you, but you always seemed to be running late going to work and exhausted when you get home. And the rainy season didn’t stop. Taehyung once offered to walk you at least to the bus stop when you had a graveyard shift. He’s glad you didn’t decline and walked side by side with him under the umbrella.

“You know, you don’t have to do any of this.” You murmured in the middle of that five-minute walk to the bus stop. You were just looking ahead as you resumed, “You’re not obligated to do anything with me.”

“I wanted to do this.” He replied, glancing at you, hoping that he will meet your eyes. But he didn’t.

You didn’t say anything anymore. Even when you got on the bus and he handed you the extra umbrella he brought. But he really did. Even though you two haven’t really done a lot of activities together, he liked doing things with you or for you.

Now it’s been days since you broke down, you two still haven’t talked about it. Jimin told him to be patient and give you time. But the more time he gives you, the more he felt like you were already slowly drifting away from him.

“Are you sure? We still have space for another passenger.”

Taehyung heard you from the living room as he pulled his small luggage out of his room. He wore a white collared button-down, with the sleeves folded before it reached his elbows, tucked in beige suit pants.

“Okay, Ju. See you there. Take care.”

Your smile fades as you ended the call. With every emotion washed out on your face, you glanced up at him. Your eyes simply scanned him from head to toe before you spoke, “Let’s go?”

Jisoo and Namjoon will be having their rehearsal and the following dinner in the same area as their wedding. It’s in the same event place as their wedding venue. The couple already prepared rooms for a few guests, so that you can stay overnight for the wedding tomorrow. You, Taehyung, and Jimin will be carpooling in a rented car, with Jimin taking the wheel for an almost two-hour drive straight to the dinner event.

“Be careful, it’s fragile.”

You teased Jimin as he helped you carry the wedding gift for your soon-to-be-wedded friends. Taehyung carried yours and his luggage to the car.

“I am careful.” Jimin scoffed.

“Oh, I apologize. I’m just worried. You do have small hands.” You jested that made Taehyung choke and laugh.

“Ha. Ha. Ha.” His best friend laughed dryly, squinting his eyes at you. “You two are bullies! It’s not that small.”

You chuckled once again before stopping when Taehyung opened the backseat door for you.

“Thanks.” You mumbled.

Taehyung sat on the passenger seat while Jimin took the wheel. In the first quarter of the ride, you still managed to join chit-chat. Jimin was the one who sparked up topics, which you were grateful for as you don’t know what would happen if it’s just you and Taehyung in this car. But as time went on, you yawned and slowly lost yourself to take a nap.

a/n: i'm thinking of updating/resetting the taglist for this series. kindly comment below if you still want to be tagged. thank you so much for your support <3

taglist rules

RESTARTING OVER AGAIN TAGLIST [closed] @halesandy @boohoobabe @hopeonysus  @taffyteffy @pnlpbnl  @arusio @rpkth @cinnamonruts @xyahrinx @betysotelo18 @sugaslittlekookies  @doublebunv @dahliasbouqet @lust-kth @aria-grace-scott  @milkteallday  @hoodalmighty  @kiwuki @http-fayeradise  @daydreamiies @starlight-night0 @chaoticbisous @mageprincess7 @byunniebaekhyunnie @hiimnothing @koreanaestheticc @shin-ie @blancflms​ @jeonkoookiee​ @satorinnie​ @rjsmochii​ @yoonglesdoll​ @somewhereinthestarss​ @turnthepageandbeburnt​ @heyjiminnie​ @bri-mal​ @teddybeartaetae​ @kaal-ee​ @nikkiordonez12​ @motivatedprocastinator​ @butterflieshee @iamkookiesforyou

  PERMANENT TAGLIST

@dunixxd @cixrosie @jksjx @embrace-themagic @buttvi @starbtslove @missseoulite @vanntaesworld @kenqki @miyukihoshi @stopeatread @seolaquotes @greyrain23 @chimchimmarie @petalsofink @jayhope88  @moonchild1

[unholyxvoid]

i will try to keep them coming! i’ve done a great job at rambling my ass off so far and you haven’t called me annoying, so that’s definitely something! (thank you by the way, it’s nice to ramble freely and feel like it’s been received well)

GIGGLING!!! damn you’re making me blush, oh my godddd /hj

that makes sense! i think most of our friends are plural? and have been for a while. i dunno, we find it hard to have friends and label people as friends because our bpd thinks friends means we talk to each other everyday, etc. so yeah. but having plural friends does help a lot, it’s helped us so so so much, it’s how we found out we were plural, through a friend at the time who was a system. funny how things always work in the ways that they do.

i totally get the wondering about if someone ever existed thing. a common theme for us is that we split someone, they get frontstuck with me for like a week or something, and then they disappear for basically ever (other than a few exceptions but even those people come around rarely anymore). and that’s also scary as fuck! it’s terrifying! being alone is terrifying, especially once you get used to someone being around. i tend to get attached to these people too so i grieve for them after they leave. it’s just not a good feeling. i’m sorry you have to know what that questioning of reality feels like, but you’re not alone in it, yeah?

i get that, the explaining part. it’s the hardest thing about any of it aside from figuring it out, which i suppose are directly connected. if i can’t explain it to someone else, how can i explain it to myself? i guess? i get what you mean 100%.

when i said “figure things out” it’s not like how i got to the conclusion, just a kind of “identity” i’ve figured out for myself which feels really weird and uncanny, if that’s even the word for it. basically my nonhuman-ness is in some way simply a heart and a brain connected together. i feel like my being is just heart and brain without much else connected to it, just those raw parts is who i am. the vitals and really nothing much else. this might explain a lot about me or nothing at all, i’m not sure which it is. fun!

and i’m not even sure how i came to this? i don’t really remember details. one day i remember being like “fuck, i’m more nonhuman than i realize,” but i don’t remember much else aside from that or what caused that. memory issues for ya baby!

commenting on your tags: yes, we do follow you! i think you guys were actually the first sleep token related blog (loose term) that we followed, fun fact! was looking through our following yesterday or something and kinda laughed at the information. also thanks for respecting the boundary, means a lot. i know curiosity is a devious thing, i appreciate you keeping things the way i’ve asked for them to be. i think of me being on anon, or anyone who says they choose to be anonymous, that the boundary is respected despite curiosity or whatever else. like with sleep token, you know? it’s a basic thing to do. and i have quite strong feelings about it, but i won’t put you through the misery of listening to that as it honestly doesn’t matter all too much in the grand scheme of things.

oh, and about your pain, same. our shoulders and neck has been huuuurting. had to put our heating pad on it last night. god, it’s been a pain in the ass the last couple weeks (roughly). sending you well wishes about it, sucks bad :(

-maw 🪽

nah youre good , not annoying at all dw /gen

we dont talk to many ppl most of the time but we do have some plural friends yeah , and its definitely helpful

wondering if they even exist is a pretty persistent issue we have , or at least me personally . the doubt and denial is insane and does not want to leave me the fuck alone . even when im actively experiencing shit in the back on my mind im still like 'nah this isnt real im imagining it' and it really sucks , i dont really know how to get rid of it

thats actually really cool , you can be the heart and brain of any living being . or is it more like heart and brain without some physical form around them , just floating organs ? hlshfkd or maybe more in the nonphysical sense , heart and brain how they function in relation to eachother if that makes sense idk the right words rn

ohh fun , are we mutuals or do i not follow you ? also yes im very curious but i know youll eventually come off anon and well talk on disc so i can be patient . absolutely yes thats part of it , id never cross that boundary with the eepies and i despise anyone that does . and i know id be upset if someone crossed that boundary with me as well

oh man yeah this body is getting fucking old and everything is starting to hurt (im an old man ... in my 20s but im so old ...) yeowch

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace, Nancy, Teddy & Gia Pt.1

Nancy: Safe travels, my lovely

Nancy: I totally understand why you didn’t want to stay until tonight, even though I’m gutted to see you go, obvs 🤍🤍🤍

Grace: ☁️🛫🤞🏽🤍🙏🏽🤍🛬☁️

Grace: you’re THE BEST for understanding TYSM & I’m SO sorry AGAIN!!

Nancy: No, don’t be silly, it’s happened to us all at one point or another

Nancy: And I looked at his socials, he didn’t post anything about you, so, that’s a positive

Grace: oh GOD why is it ALWAYS me though??! 😭😭

Grace: girl, I told you, he’s an 😇

Grace: 💔💔💔 FML

Nancy: I don’t even UNDERSTAND how you got quite that drunk… like, you were REALLY hammered 

Nancy: You must’ve had more than you remember, it doesn’t make ANY sense otherwise

Grace: idk idk 💀 what I DO remember is so so bad it’ll literally haunt me forever 😳😬

Nancy: If he’s such a 😇

Nancy: like… why did we end up here? I’m trying to understand your thought process 

Grace: it’s COS he is, I know that doesn’t make sense… 

Nancy: Because you didn’t feel good enough

Grace: 👌🏽 maybe it makes total sense, cos yeah

Nancy: Babe 🥺😭😭

Nancy: but you only ended up acting like 1000% worse than you actually are because of that 💭

Grace: 😭😭😭😭

Grace: I spiralled, I’m SUCH an idiot

Nancy: Look, he probably ended up as drunk as you when he went to the club after, he won’t remember [whatever embarrassing detail either she told you last night when wasted or Teddy did in that lil debrief]

Grace: 🤞🏽🤍🙏🏽🤍 cos I’ll wanna die if he remembers that or [something else you clearly did as bad or worse] BUT I can’t get my hopes up, like, I’m literally NOT good enough for him, last night proved it

Grace: I freaked out but I was right, still

Nancy: I bet he’s been on hundreds of worse dates, it’ll barely register

Nancy: You’re just insecure and traumatized, that doesn’t make you a bad person, AT ALL 

Grace: me too I’ve been on 1000000s & here I am 😱👻 ILY for trying to make it better but you can’t

Nancy: You should get a bloody mary on the plane, you’ve earnt it 

Grace: 💡👏🏽

Grace: ☕️ isn’t gonna be strong enough & it’s 🤴🏼 triggering now anyway

Nancy: If he actually managed to cure you of your caffeine addiction, you’d have to send him a thank you note 

Grace: 😂 he’d really be asking himself wtf is wrong with me then

Nancy: Aren’t manners very 😇? 😏

Grace: you’re asking the wrong girl, babes

Grace: I’m no 😇 if only 🥺😭😭 & me sending a 💌 would have the poor boy thinking I’m 12 now I’ve drank like it in front of him 

Nancy: He should have taken better care of you, I said it before and I’ll say it again 🤷‍♀️

Grace: it isn’t his fault, he thought I ate CARBS 👌🏽👌🏽 it’s mine I tricked him 

Nancy: 🤔🤔🤔

Nancy: Okay but who orders for someone in this day and age, that was weird, it isn’t the 50s

Grace: he was being romantic

Nancy: Oh God, you really like him, don’t you?

Grace: I’m just saying, I ruined it, he didn’t do anything wrong

Nancy: But do you like him, like actually?

Grace: it doesn’t matter, we’ll NEVER see each other again, I can’t & he won’t wanna 🙈🙉🙊

Nancy: Say he did, though

Grace: ofc I like him I’m not brain damaged

Nancy: As someone you’d like to see properly

Grace: in this, like, pure fantasyland we’re 💬 in rn, duh, but in reality there’s no way

Nancy: Stranger things have happened

Grace: mhmm & all the weird things that happen to me are BAD so

Nancy: 😔 Well, it’s over now, honey

Grace: thank god, I just wanna go home  

Nancy: 💔

Grace: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean like yours isn’t

Grace: you know that isn’t my 💭💭

Nancy: No, it’s fine

Nancy: I just wish I had somewhere I could run back to too, that’s all, that’s not on you

Grace: I should’ve stayed, none of this is on you 😔

Grace: I’m the actual WORST & you can hate me if you wanna

Nancy: You have school tomorrow anyway, you should focus on that, getting your grades to get out

Grace: idc about school I’m not getting the grades & they’ll lowkey have to keep me there forever or give up 🙄🙄🙄

Grace: you’re where my focus is 🤍

Nancy: 🥺 You’ll make me cry

Nancy: I’m just so sorry that it didn’t go better for you, I feel like it’s my fault for saying you should get changed or something 😟😟

Grace: no no no DON’T EVEN!! you did EVERYTHING right too!!

Grace: you told me not to 🤮 & I didn’t listen

Nancy: I just wish I could protect you from feeling like that, it really breaks my heart 

Grace: 😭😭😭😭

Grace: I put you in an impossible situation, I literally shouldn’t have told you, idk what I was thinking

Nancy: you can tell me anything, I always want that

Grace: it isn’t fair it’s TOO MUCH & all I’ve done is made you feel 💔 too

Grace: I’m so SO sorry

Nancy: Shh, it’s all okay, that’s what I’m here for, we get each other

Grace: I PROMISE it was a 1 time thing & I’m not gonna do it again EVER 🤞🏽🤍🤞🏽🤍

Nancy: 🤝🤍🤝

Nancy: Because you don’t even NEED to do it

Grace: I didn’t know what else to do but it’s okay cos I’m not gonna be there again, it’s over like you said

Nancy: You just can’t be with someone if they’re going to make you feel like that, even without knowing themselves

Grace: I’ll just have to die alone, at least I still have you & you’re not mad at me 🙏🏽🤍🙌🏽

Nancy: Girl, we’ll be together, because same

Grace: is THAT why you got a dog?? 

Nancy: That sounded filthy, Grace! 😲😂

Grace: UM 😂😂 I was just saying you missed the memo lonely old ladies usually get cats 😂

Grace: or dogs they can fit in their laps anyway 😂

Nancy: Wellllllll the person I know with the most cats is your mama and she ain’t ever been lonely so 😶

Nancy: It’s good to have one like Rex, living alone, he can protect me

Grace: 👌🏽👌🏽 no need to rub it in &/or bring her up rn ty

Nancy: We’re all jealous, sis

Grace: don’t I know it… me most of all

Nancy: Truly men are only good for one thing and she is so right for that

Nancy: I give up on them for anything BUT, I swear 🤞🤦‍♀️

Grace: wow, okay, cool then I JUST give up 

Nancy: Nun vibes 👰‍♀️✝️

Grace: or lesbian vibes, but no, I still CAN’T

Grace: that would be WORSE

Nancy: You are SUCH a bigot, OMG 🤪

Grace: 🏳️‍🌈 excuse you I’m an amazing ally 🏳️‍🌈

Nancy: 😂😂😂😂

Grace: whatever, how am I the freak, again, cos I don’t want the 1 thing men are good for?? it’s so rude

Nancy: You really would be better off if you liked girls, a man is never going to give you the emotional support you need, I swear

Nancy: Life is such a sick joke, honestly 🙃

Grace: I’d have to kms or date the UGLIEST girls ever

Grace: neither are the mood

Nancy: 🏆👸 is so real

Grace: UGH, this much baggage is EXHAUSTING

Nancy: and you 😴 for a thousand years, snoring SO LOUDLY

Grace: MEAN!! 

Nancy: my ears were bleeding keeping you safe, hoe 😘

Grace: IOU for not letting me die I GUESS though it doesn’t feel like a HUGE favour rn ngl 

Nancy: It’s okay, you’re allowed to be ungrateful rn

Grace: when are things gonna get better?? I wish I was gay then it’s, like, guaranteed they HAVE TO 

Nancy: When you get to train, be qualified, at least then you’ll have your business to build up and focus on… works for my parents 

Grace: cos they also have each other

Nancy: I think my mum would still be happy, without any of us, tbh

Grace: mine too

Nancy: Why did they bother, honestly? 🤷‍♀️😕

Grace: I can’t deal with how they can take for granted something I really badly want

Nancy: 💔 I know

Nancy: I’ll not do it, in solidarity

Grace: 🥺😭😭

Grace: I’d NEVER stop you though! you take SUCH good care of me, any kid would be the LUCKIEST ever

Nancy: No baby would be as cool as you anyway, even if it was remotely possible for me and the way my life is shaping up, no way

Grace: Rex is the lucky one for rn 💖👑💖

Nancy: True 😍😍😍

Nancy: My parents don’t need any more grandkids yet, I am NOT trying to compete with him on this 😷

Grace: Yeah I DON’T wanna talk about it either 

Nancy: I can’t believe they made it to now though, she must have got rid of some, right? 

Nancy: Like, she’s nearly 25, how long have they been together? There’s no way

Grace: STOP ⛔️⛔️

Nancy: I’ve got feelings about it too, babe

Nancy: She was like, my best friend since birth before they did… THAT

Grace: it’ll forever be too much to unpack, I just CAN’T

Nancy: There’s going to be a baby explosion in your family soon though, you need to prepare yourself mentally

Grace: … 

Grace: I’ll NEVER be mentally strong enough 😣😣

Nancy: It’s the reality though, AWFUL as it is

Grace: I know 😭

Nancy: Jan and Ava claimed to be more sensible but look at the pair of them

Nancy: Ugh, it stresses me OUT 😥

Grace: I’ve totally changed my mind, I wish I wasn’t going home now

Nancy: Don’t they all, like, live with you, basically

Nancy: I couldn’t STAND to watch Ava and James all loved up with his kids like they’re theirs all the time like that

Grace: I’m counting down the days til I can leave, obviously

Nancy: Yeah, I bet

Nancy: like he’s nice to look at but if that’s never coming your way it’s entirely depressing 

Grace: UGH 

Nancy: I should’ve locked it down with James whilst I had the chance, he is too intent on ruining my sister’s life with his mistakes now 

Grace: but then instead he’d be ruining yours

Nancy: She’s my little sister, I’d do anything for her

Grace: 🥺 I know, but you’re like my big sister, I can’t let you 🥺

Nancy: 💞💞💞💞💞

Nancy: I just wish I could make her see it for what it is, that’s all

Grace: me too, I’ve tried talking to her loads of times even though she treats me like I’m stupid whenever I do

Nancy: They’ve got way too much pride, they can’t see we’re trying to help but

Nancy: at least we try, however unappreciated 

Grace: I wish you were my sister, I hate the ones I’ve got, they don’t try AT ALL

Nancy: I’m more than that, it’s special 🤍🔒🤍

Grace: I should be allowed to live with you, it’s not like anyone cares if I go to school or not when I’m back there OR what else I do

Nancy: The way your school works is SO confusing though, if you were here you could already be in your last year of your beauty course instead of them forcing you to do like sixth form schooly vibes

Grace: IKR?! 

Nancy: Like, you DON’T want to go to Uni and be that girl… such a waste of time 💀💀

Grace: & when I don’t pass which DUH I’m NOT gonna, hello??! they’ll try & make me redo the year, they do it ALL the time 💀💀

Nancy: Oh babes, not you being like 20 still in your uniform, you cannot, that’s TOO much

Grace: 😷😷😷

Grace: I’ll have to walk out with no exams 👋🏽😘 idc cos I don’t need to look back when I leave ❤️💂🦁🌹🤍☔️🤍🫖🎡💷💙 

Nancy: We cannot wait 🥳🥳🥳🥺🥰🥰

Nancy: we being me and Rex, obvs 

Grace: not you & whoever you hit up last night while I was being unhinged in [whatever the restaurant is called] ?? 

Nancy: Lord no, no daddy for you yet, sorry 😌

Grace: I’m the opposite of mad about it 🥳🥳🥳🥺🥰🥰

Nancy: I would call you out but as you plan to be forever single too, it’s all good 😘

Grace: sorry not sorry!! I need you 🤍🔒🤍

Nancy: Forever and ever, girl

Grace: I miss you already & always

Grace: this is gonna be the LONGEST week of my life 🙄🥱

Nancy: I don’t even know HOW I’m going to fill my weekdays, for real 😩

Nancy: Gonna have to hit up this 🔗 even though idc about him

Grace: with dog walks ?? 😂😂😂 jk I know you would NEVER 😂

Nancy: 😆 My 🍑 would thank me but nah

Grace: ❌🐶💩🚫

Nancy: ABSOLUTELY NOT

Grace: … can I ask you for a favour that’s maybe almost as bad?

Nancy: … Go on

Grace: can you keep checking in on Teddy for a sec?? cos I had to unfollow obvs & I wanna make sure he’s not, like, swearing off all girls & planning to die alone too… I’d feel worse than I already do atm 💔💔

Nancy: Of course, we have plenty of mutual friends anyway, I will undoubtedly see or hear of his whereabouts 

Grace: thanks, it’s cringe to ask but, like, I have now so ✌🏽

Nancy: It’s cool, he’s not going to find out you did

Grace: yeah true 🙌🏽

Nancy: You don’t want a report back, do you?

Nancy: Like I’ll just make sure he’s cool but I won’t blow you up over it

Grace: I’ll be calm, it’s none of my business anyway

Grace: as long as he’s okay & over it

Nancy: 👌

Grace: IOU again 🤍

Nancy: [Me like, should probably come at this boy and cackle so you don’t lose your composure here hun]

Grace: [go for it gal]

Nancy: I was THIS close to losing it

Teddy: Dare I ask why?

Nancy: [just send him a screenshot of this poor gal earnestly wanting to check you aren’t heartbroken]

Nancy: See?

Teddy: That I did an incredible job on her? Yes but I already knew it 💔🧸💐 Poor me

Nancy: God, you make me sick 😏

Nancy: I thought she was joking, in a rare display of self-awareness

Teddy: I’d love to make you sick, choose your preferred method & get back to me

Nancy: Haven’t you got a noose to fill? 

Nancy: The devastation being as real as it is

Teddy: Okay, auto erotic asphyxiation it is 👀

Nancy: 🙄😘

Nancy: With the mood she’s in, my death will look like a suicide pact

Teddy: She’s gone, get in the mood I’m in

Nancy: You’re being so subtle, however will I guess what mood that is? 

Teddy: & you’re being hilarious, of course I miss you

Nancy: I miss you more

Nancy: having to listen to her holier-than-thou version of you just made me want to talk to the real you 

Teddy: Invite me over & you can do more than talk

Nancy: Do you have to be invited in 🧛‍♂️

Teddy: No, but it’ll upset Rex if I barge in, he’s protective of you

Nancy: He is 🥺

Nancy: you’ll have to be nice, if you come for a visit

Teddy: It’ll be different when I have a 🔑 but for now I’ll behave well & let him be the man of the house

Nancy: It’d be mean of you to put him in his place today, he doesn’t know he isn’t meant to be top dog yet, poor baby

Teddy: I’ve missed him too so I’ll be 😇 daddy & not 😈

Nancy: 🤏 triggering for me but I’ll let it slide, you can’t help how boring she’d like you to be

Teddy: It won’t be boring for either of us when you relay everything she said about me

Nancy: We talked about A LOT of stuff, there’s definite potential for progress

Teddy: Good

Teddy: & has your new bed arrived yet?

Nancy: Luckily after she got to the airport

Nancy: she’s already confused about the sudden appearance of the dog

Teddy: You live alone, you need him

Nancy: Yes but you know, I can’t fit it in a handbag and I’ve not made him his own social media profiles… so why did I bother ???

Teddy: 🙄 hers are full of cats, she’s hardly the authority on dogs

Nancy: She has no taste, sorry to say

Nancy: She definitely thinks he’s scary but is not gonna say that to my face

Teddy: I’m aware, darling, the disgusting clothes she tried to pick out on her own before I stepped in spoke for themselves

Teddy: but she’s correct about one thing, she should be scared of him

Nancy: You have pretty good taste in clothes, if my memory serves 

Teddy: Nothing is going to look anything but awful on her body regardless but I like that you’ve noticed

Nancy: Yeah, well, I kept the lingerie on for ages

Teddy: I still owe you an outfit too, I haven’t forgotten

Nancy: How is your head this morning?

Teddy: Fantastic, if you’d like me to make us our reservation at [the restaurant he took Grace too so they can recreate it] for tonight, I will

Nancy: I suppose we’ll have to eat at some point, true

Teddy: I’ll bring home for Rex what I ordered for her, I couldn’t possibly suggest you eat it

Nancy: You wanted to make me sick, not give me a lifelong disorder, yeah?

Teddy: I want to make you happy, baby

Nancy: You’re helping

Nancy: how comfy this bed is is high up the list too

Teddy: Are you going to show me? 

Nancy: [send him a pic on this enormous bed like omg]

Nancy: You could fit so many 🐶 in this thing

Teddy: I’ll make you 🤰 sick & we’ll see how many babies we can fit in there

Nancy: I am really in the mood to get pregnant after promising her I would never so

Nancy: good thing our moods are matching

Teddy: Because you’re breaking a promise to her I’ll make one to give you twins that aren’t mutants like your brothers, for yours & your parents’ sake

Nancy: You’re SO giving

Nancy: I’ll make sure they’re boys, for your sake

Teddy: Thank you, it would mean A LOT to me

Nancy: Anything for you seems like a risky precedent to set but I’m not scared

Teddy: I couldn’t be any prouder of you for overcoming your fear of me

Nancy: You’re even cuter than Rex, just don’t say anything

Teddy: I’m only in the mood to say your name

Nancy: let me hear it

Teddy: [SUCH a shameless voice note, me like sir you live at home, thank god you do have a rich person gaff and are probably as far away from your parents as poss]

Nancy: 🥴 Oh

Nancy: the fact you can do that as loud as you want now

Teddy: I’m determined all your neighbours are going to hate me LONG before I move in

Nancy: They’ll be begging me to throw another party instead 😁

Teddy: They’ll have to wait until I’ve finished begging you for what I want

Nancy: Baby

Teddy: It’s quite a list, they’ll probably be rather impatient, I’m sorry

Nancy: I’m not

Teddy: Me either, not at all

Nancy: I can’t leave you needy

Teddy: What kind of mother would you be if that’s the precedent?

Nancy: The only mother of your children you want

Teddy: Yes

Nancy: I’m really glad you get to give me everything you have, it’d be wrong to hold back, wrong for us

Teddy: Our moods definitely are matching

Nancy: I couldn’t have got her out the door fast enough 

Teddy: You know I’d have to trick you if you didn’t want what I want & I’d feel bad about it

Nancy: Sorry I’m as fucked up as you

Nancy: we can trick everyone else, whenever we want to use them

Teddy: I’m not, I love that you’re as fucked up as I am

Nancy: It makes me want to be with you always, how high I feel thinking about the things I can admit to liking to you

Teddy: You can tell me anything, I’m not afraid of that as a set precedent either

Nancy: I want to feel you getting hard under me when I tell you everything she said

Teddy: Okay, I’ll try & think about something else for a while so it’s how I have to become again instead of just the state I’m already in

Nancy: It’d be so hypocritical of me to expect that, but you’ll get more turned on, twitchy, trying to fuck me, it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen

Teddy: I am a new level of turned on since we started doing this

Nancy: it’s unreal, you are

Teddy: You are, it’s unbelievable I haven’t fucked you yet, the amount I’ve thought about it & the amount I’ve cum for you

Nancy: I want to feel like I’m full to the brim, like genuinely can’t move for it, that’s the only thing that would be appropriate

Teddy: You will, I woke up feeling like that

Nancy: 🤤 you should’ve woken up in my mouth, I’m so sorry

Teddy: It isn’t your fault you had to wake up to her big mouth, I’m sorry, you deserve so much better

Nancy: Her crying is foreplay, that’s as good as she will be for us

Teddy: Please tell me you recorded it 🙏

Nancy: Do I love you? 

Teddy: Desperately

Nancy: and I as desperately wanted to touch myself whilst she was, so, yes, it was necessary 

Teddy: I as desperately need to marry you right now

Nancy: the answer is yes

Teddy: You’re fucking perfect

Nancy: Boys are always too nice and I hate them for it so much

Nancy: you’re the most special, my dream boy

Teddy: Tell me about it, most girls are pathetic, it makes my stomach turn over in the opposite to a fun way

Nancy: I’ve spent so damn long being unsatisfied by everything and everyone, no matter the combination or how long I kept it all going

Teddy: I know, so was I

Nancy: We were with the same people, on the same things, it barely touching the sides

Teddy: I was beginning to feel as devastated by it all for real as Grace thinks she is

Nancy: Tell me about it, it’s exhausting, staying on their level when I want to go so much further

Teddy: & then you get reckless, do things you wouldn’t & shouldn’t otherwise

Teddy: I stayed with [the girl from the very beginning she asked him about] too long

Nancy: She’d turn you normal, I’ve watched it happen so many times

Teddy: I felt it starting to happen

Nancy: You were born for this, to be depraved

Teddy: You can’t decide you want something besides this, we’ll never find anything else like it again

Nancy: I just want more, no boundaries

Teddy: I don’t have any, my father paid a fortune every term to prevent me from being expelled from school

Nancy: As he should, how much of this is his fault

Teddy: I insist upon the majority of the credit, naturally

Nancy: You’re the one I want, not either of your siblings, so it must be true

Teddy: Nurture, or lack of, can only be blamed to an extent

Teddy: DNA the same

Nancy: Our kids don’t stand a chance

Teddy: They stand every chance of being just like us, which is why anyone reproduces in the first place

Teddy: at least your ego, unlike your brother’s, is worthy of being gifted that, because you’re incredible

Nancy: No, you

Nancy: I don’t know how I’m meant to act around all your mini-mes 😍

Teddy: However you like, they owe you everything, they wouldn’t even exist if not for you

Nancy: They’ll be the most spoilt, there’s no way to resist

Teddy: No, you will

Nancy: 🥰

Nancy: Nothing is changing this, touching what this is

Teddy: I’d seriously go insane

Nancy: Not in a fun way

Teddy: When I thought this was over

Nancy: I could feel the spiral coming, the amount of shit I’d have to do to try and replace what this has given me already

Teddy: It’s irreplaceable, I wouldn’t be able to try, I’d have to give up & become like them

Nancy: I won’t let it happen

Teddy: We can’t

Nancy: I’m done watching everyone get taken over 

Nancy: you don’t deserve that slow death

Teddy: I’m going to watch you get everything you’ve ever wanted, nothing else

Nancy: This is going to be the best week of your life, you have no idea

Teddy: I have lots of ideas

Nancy: that is what I like about you

Teddy: But yeah, it is going to be the best week of my life, no doubt

Nancy: So far, anyway

Nancy: I don’t plan on stopping

Teddy: & I absolutely don’t intend to stop you

Nancy: At least you can seem suitably subdued on your socials but still have things you can post, keep her 👀 off you

Teddy: Hers are going to be too funny

Nancy: Are we going to be genuine with how we’re struggling this week or act like we’re living our best life? 🤔😂

Teddy: Genuine isn’t something she can do, clearly

Nancy: yeah but what if you’re stalking her socials because you’re SO into her?!

Teddy: Of course

Nancy: The weird confidence with a total lack of self-esteem in general is so weird

Teddy: It would be sufficiently jarring to frighten off other boys with a different motive

Nancy: That is what she does best, yeah

Teddy: I’d offer her some tips if it weren’t entirely counterproductive & a secret how much they like me

Nancy: It’s safe to say you do not have the same type, if she was honest with what she wants and not what she wants to look like she wants

Nancy: should actually go to church to find herself a man but there we go

Teddy: She’d rather live a lie & she’s about to

Nancy: She’s so welcome 🥰

Teddy: 🧚🏼‍♂️

Nancy: You’ll really wanna ease up on the fairy stuff though, she is basically homophobic

Teddy: I can’t wait to introduce her to the family, she’ll fit right in

Nancy: Gross

Teddy: Her mother will sleep with anything with a pulse, a paid therapist isn’t necessary to recognise the correlation

Nancy: She would choose to ignore how the multiple baby daddies are the issue there 🙄

Teddy: She’d have her own by now, she obviously doesn’t see it as an issue

Nancy: It unavoidably is, kinda shocked she didn’t go that hard into her trauma once she was hammered but well done, sis 💁‍♀️👏

Nancy: She just wants to be normal, despite the fact her complete lack of defining or unique features is what makes her so easy to overlook

Teddy: She’s given me a ridiculously easy task at least, be a bore & a romantic cliche 

Nancy: 🥱🥱🥱🥱

Nancy: Thank God I’ve given you other chances to impress me

Teddy: I would’ve found & taken the opportunity if you were for some reason yet to be impressed

Nancy: I usually am but 

Nancy: I want you to change that so you better

Teddy: Is that my eagerly awaited invitation? 

Nancy: Are you really not on the way already?

Teddy: Perhaps, or perhaps not

Nancy: I’m not getting out the good paper to write you one, come on 

Teddy: There’s the dyslexic privilege I’m ready to exploit

Nancy: Focus on exploiting me, thanks

Teddy: Focus & you’ll be aware I’m on my way

Nancy: I’m very focused, I have no other plans today

Teddy: I’m very pleased to hear it

Nancy: This bed is too nice to get out of

Teddy: It should be, we worked hard to make it nice with all those decisions

Nancy: I hope you like it, enough to stay

Teddy: I like you enough to stay

Nancy: You make me feel 

Nancy: it’s like weak and dumb but in a good way, somehow?

Teddy: Well, I did insist I’d treat you better than your father & that’s what they do in the negative, so I’m on the right track

Nancy: I hadn’t forgotten, sort of seared into my brain, that one 😳

Teddy: I hated when you said you weren’t going to hold me to anything I’d said

Nancy: Yeah, I know, it was mean

Teddy: You’re not allowed to forget, it’s too important & we both know how in your face Grace & I are going to be

Nancy: Alright, I’ll hold myself to it

Teddy: I love you, remember I said it to you first

Nancy: and you’ve told me, any motive you could have

Teddy: I’ll repeat it every chance I have

Nancy: I’ll try not to be cunty to you, remember why we’re doing this

Nancy: at some point, I’ll have to turn into your biggest fan anyway

Teddy: Fighting just means making up, I’ll try & remind myself

Nancy: I don’t do jealousy, this would be a stupid reason to start

Teddy: You being jealous of anyone is laughable, over her it couldn’t be more ridiculous

Nancy: You can call me dumb about this, I’ll not fight you

Teddy: It means you care, I don’t want to fight about that

Nancy: I know you like it, you’re soft

Teddy: I most certainly am not

Teddy: [photographic evidence nobody asked for, soz as per to whoever is driving him rn]

Nancy: Oh, OKAY

Nancy: I’ve never been happier to be proven wrong 🥺🥺🥺

Teddy: Did you pick me because you think I’m soft?

Nancy: I didn’t know you were

Teddy: I’m curious what it means, aside from a blatant 🧚🏼‍♂️ slur, possibly?

Nancy: Yeah, I’m cyberbullying you right now 😉

Nancy: I’m not sure exactly what I mean… just that you’re more invested than I thought you’d be, maybe? You want more than what I assumed you would

Teddy: You expected me to be more calculating, callous, I understand why 

Nancy: Just more predictable even

Nancy: All I offered you at the start was the chance to use her and a share of a decent stash, remember

Teddy: I haven’t forgotten you owe me A LOT of K, predictable as that may be

Nancy: 😏 we’ll find somewhere not entirely predictable to take it

Teddy: One thing you should’ve already had a fixed idea of about me   is I’ll always be willing to go deeper down the rabbit hole, Alice

Teddy: the moment a better offer comes along, that’s what I want, regardless of how far away from the starting point it is

Nancy: I didn’t imagine you’d say no to a chance of hooking up

Nancy: but more like you’re ticking off a who’s who, not this

Teddy: Nobody, aside from your sister, has ever said no to hooking up, it’s not what I said yes to, I didn’t imagine that part would even be much fun

Nancy: That’s a little rude

Teddy: I’ve never been happier to be proved wrong either, darling

Nancy: You haven’t yet, no pressure or anything

Teddy: But I have, it’s been the most fun so far

Nancy: But if it’s shit now I’ll have to pretend I never said any of this and kick you out

Teddy: Oh please, I’d refuse to go anywhere until it was good

Teddy: Who do you think I am? 

Nancy: You’re the one that’s put it in my head

Nancy: You’ll have to take the spare room and start paying rent

Teddy: I’m used to being disappointed, I’ve been open about that, it isn’t a personal attack worthy of charging me rent

Nancy: 👌 roomie

Teddy: Okay, fine, I’ll add it to our roleplays

Nancy: but I know what you mean

Nancy: and can guess why you wanted to do it in the first place

Teddy: We’ve talked through our motives pretty extensively by now, but if you feel like there’s something you’re still doing guesswork on, you can ask me

Nancy: The lack of a challenge she presents is more than made up in the one I do, it’s simple enough

Teddy: If you were a challenge

Nancy: Really?

Teddy: Come on, it hasn’t exactly taken us long to get here

Nancy: Wow

Teddy: There’s no reason to be offended

Nancy: I’m not, just disappointed, so what’s new

Teddy: There’s less reason to be disappointed 

Nancy: I’m not about to play into your hand, so you have every reason to be disappointed, actually

Teddy: It isn’t a game, you know that

Nancy: but it is, and that’s why you said yes

Teddy: It was when I agreed to do this, it’s not anymore

Nancy: Alright

Teddy: What are you upset about?

Nancy: I’m not upset, you just reminded me what we’re actually doing here

Teddy: Nancy, this is silly

Nancy: You only feel it now because you reckoned you were about to achieve your goal

Teddy: No, I don’t feel it because that isn’t what my goal is

Nancy: We have no reason to trust each other, that’s stupid

Teddy: Are you seriously going to do this again?

Nancy: Obviously

Teddy: You do trust me

Nancy: That would be stupid

Teddy: You’re being stupid not to when the entire reason we’re here this fast is because we’re so well suited

Nancy: and not just how easy it was because you’re so great, right?

Teddy: How many times can I tell you I’m not playing you?

Nancy: That’s what you say when you’re trying, you slipped up, sorry

Teddy: You want me to slip up because, you said it yourself, you feel under pressure

Nancy: If it was real, of course I would, that’s intentional too

Teddy: Call it off because you’re scared, it’s nonsense to go for this angle & turn me into someone I am not

Nancy: Be who you want, Teddy

Teddy: If who you want to be is crazy I can’t talk to you

Nancy: We don’t need to talk, it’s not useful to either of us right now

Teddy: When you’ve seen sense you know where I am or am likely to be

Nancy: I’ll avoid where I imagine you’re more likely to be if you do the same for me

Teddy: I don’t promise to

Nancy: Why would you bother

Teddy: It isn’t beneficial for either of us for me to give you your own way when you’re this wrong about why you want it

Nancy: all I want now is to party and there are so many places I can achieve that, even if I have to walk out of any you might be in

Teddy: I won’t be there, I have no interest in piling disappointment upon disappointment, it’s all boring, I told you

Nancy: I know what it is, it’s what I have

Teddy: No, we have each other if you just stop

Nancy: How, you made that impossible

Teddy: Nothing is impossible, even while you’re having an insane identity crisis about this, I know who we both are

Nancy: Don’t be so bloody patronising

Teddy: Don’t behave like your clueless cousin

Nancy: Shut up, she has no backbone, she wouldn’t say any of this

Teddy: It’s the same act of sabotage with an identical end result

Nancy: If you think I’m going to sit around and cry about you like that, dream on

Teddy: I’m painfully aware of what you’re going to do & it’s as tragic

Nancy: I don’t call you tragic for being a slut

Teddy: Because I’m not going to fuck someone else instead of you in order to fake I’m still in control when I’m really losing it

Nancy: I just have no interest in fucking you now, as shocking as that might be to you

Teddy: It doesn’t shock me at all your new plan is to lie to yourself & to me

Nancy: Jesus 

Teddy: Have a blast being deluded with most of the city about one thing or another, I hope you get the chemical help you need to do so

Nancy: You’re delusional if you think anything about this is attractive

Teddy: I’m not on a mission to attract you, you’re the one who thinks I am, or was

Nancy: Just another day for you, obviously

Teddy: Believe what you want, Nance

Nancy: You’re shit at this

Teddy: Because I’ve never done it before, a fact you’d know if you dared to accept this is actually different

Nancy: Every time I try, you just remind me how it ain’t

Teddy: Maybe you’re right, because whenever you doubt my motives & question me constantly, I have to ask myself why I’m trying to change anything about the way my life is

Nancy: Nothing about this is easy, chat all you want about me wasting my time and being delusional like it’s not what you’re going to go back to

Teddy: But that’s where you’re wrong, it would be easy for me to stay with you

Teddy: I don’t want to go back, I want to go fucking forwards, together

Nancy: I don’t know what’s forward, what’s there

Teddy: Yes you do, but you don’t want it, you don’t trust me enough to let yourself

Nancy: I don’t, and I don’t trust myself

Nancy: I should already be there by now

Teddy: Then that’s it, we can stick to the Grace plan or not, whatever you like, take some time to think about if that’s something you still want

Nancy: Don’t talk to me like this is a meeting

Teddy: It more or less is

Nancy: You can fuck off then

Teddy: Okay

Nancy: Not okay, prick

Teddy: [just leave that there for now hun like the petty bitch you are fucking off despite the fact she wants to keep having a go]

Nancy: [we really fucked you over genetically for having a temper hun, keep your mouth closed though, just unfollow him dramatically everywhere you can for the petty spike of feelings that will give you at least]

Teddy: [obvs you gotta unfollow her too & most importantly you gotta interact with whatever Grace is posting even if it’s just a like or a story view or something because duh, hard same on being cruel and dramatic]

Nancy: [when Grace would definitely tell you so you’re just here seething]

Teddy: [soz not soz, well soz to Grace but you know, oh lads you do amuse me]

Nancy: Can you actually stop, thanks

Teddy: I’m having my own fun, you can’t stop me

Nancy: You said take some time so let me

Teddy: I’m likewise not preventing you from doing that

Nancy: You obviously are because what is that if not going ahead with the Grace plan

Teddy: For all she knows my finger slipped, it commits you to nothing because it can just as easily mean nothing

Nancy: I’m the one who has to discuss what it does or doesn’t mean with her, so no, cut the crap

Teddy: 🥱

Nancy: Teddy, I’m serious because I’m not in the mood to humour her about this

Teddy: I’m done, you don’t need to cry about it

Nancy: You know the damage is already done, that’s why you did it, thanks SO much

Teddy: You’re SO welcome

Nancy: You’re making the decision easier to make

Teddy: Oh good, after all, it is what a gentleman would do & I’m about to forgo the role, have to do what I can while I can 

Nancy: You’re as free to continue wooing her as I am to tell her why you started

Teddy: If I was interested in doing so for its own sake, I wouldn’t need your permission, you’re correct

Nancy: You’re that transparent, don’t worry

Teddy: Yes I am & yet here we are 

Nancy: You really had to make her talk to me though? Think of something better

Teddy: Why would I? It’s the ideal punishment

Nancy: Because I could call it all off for real if she doesn’t shut the fuck up

Teddy: I don’t care if you do, it’s you who’ll lose out

Nancy: Bullshit

Teddy: I’m not invested in Grace or in any of the rest of your family, I am in you & as you’ve pointed out, I’m wasting my time

Teddy: there’s a multitude of other things I can use to do that too

Nancy: And none of them are as fun, clearly

Teddy: Well, I’m hardly having fun with you either, so as I’ve said, who cares?

Nancy: Because I can’t wreck my family on my own and you can’t yours

Teddy: I’ll find a way which doesn’t involve you or needing anyone’s help, I’ll have plenty of time, nothing but, in fact

Nancy: Right, of course you will

Teddy: There’s no need to pretend my family will be that difficult to ruin, they’re halfway to having done it themselves

Nancy: And how long have they been like that, centuries?

Teddy: Darling, I’m not as old as you, it isn’t as pressing

Nancy: Your choice

Teddy: Yeah

Nancy: Good luck, sorry if she runs to your inbox to shout, or, you’re welcome? Whatever

Teddy: 😘

Nancy: 👋

Teddy: [that went well, go and cause a family argument IRL or something to try and feel something, I’m sure they’ll be thrilled]

Nancy: [we’ve probably likewise snapped at Grace without fully doing a tell-all and now need to have a party and piss off the neighbours again with our behaviour, thanks gal lol]

Teddy: [me like don’t you turn up at that party, boy]

Nancy: [she says don’t you do it honey]

Teddy: [like, he’s very much not above it, especially because his dog is there but it’s probably a bigger fuck you to act like you’re ignoring her entirely unless you’re gonna show purely to take said dog but then what sir, you live at home, you can’t]

Nancy: [that really makes it not the move you think it is, like where are you taking that dog, boy, yes this flat is entirely funded by our parents but at least they aren’t here lol]

Teddy: [mhmm, exactly so don’t, flop]

Gia: Why did you choose today to be a colossal nightmare?

Teddy: Why not today?

Gia: Because it is the only day I can guarantee any time spent with my family

Teddy: Noted, every day of your life is a colossal nightmare, but that’s hardly something I’m to blame for

Gia: You are to blame for Seb not wanting to do this every week now

Teddy: Please, shortening his name like that isn’t going to magically make him look or act your age, but it WILL make me gag 🤢

Gia: And here was me hoping University might make you mature slightly…

Teddy: Hasn’t ‘girls mature faster than boys’ been your entire reason to live since before I was born?

Gia: I’ve never acted the way you do, even if I’d wanted to, I’d have never gotten away with it

Teddy: 💔 I’d suggest you try it but it’s rather too late now, unless you intend to take behaving as I would as far as forsaking your husband

Gia: As I said, I have literally no desire to throw a tantrum like that

Gia: Why are you?

Teddy: Why are you acting as if you suddenly care?

Gia: Assumedly, that’s what you were after, attention

Teddy: Incorrect, but it’s always the goal to make everyone suffer as I must

Gia: Precisely

Gia: If you didn’t want the parents to have to have hushed conversations about you, you would do as the rest of us do and keep it to yourself

Teddy: Well, if they won’t have full volume conversations about each other & address the real issues

Gia: Is that why you’re sad, mummy and daddy are fighting again?

Teddy: No, but I am cheered by your slight attempt at humour 

Gia: If mocking you can be considered a joke, I suppose

Gia: Could you not find an excuse to absent yourself if you were going to be in such a mood though, it isn’t as if James attends, you don’t have to

Teddy: It’s extremely laughable you think you have any grounds to mock me, yes

Teddy: & that you would dare to comment on my mood given your spouse’s inability to do anything with his face but 😒

Gia: He’s only like that around you, actually

Gia: and who could blame him?

Teddy: I’m doing him a favour, his brats are going to be my age soon, it’s best he practises because he can’t exactly leave the supportive parenting to you

Gia: I’m not your mother, I don’t need to handhold you through your hangover/heartbreak to prove that I’m a capable parent

Teddy: You’re nobody’s mother, Gia & LONG may that continue to be the case, truly 🙏

Gia: If I had such news, I would have cut through your nonsense with it

Teddy: Such a pity he’s incapable of delivering it for you, in any sense

Gia: Do you have to be so disgusting?

Teddy: You married him, that’s disgusting

Gia: No one asked your opinion, how you feel about him is irrelevant

Teddy: & yet here you are defending yourself against my opinion, it’s obviously relevant to you if you feel the need

Gia: You defend your partner, that’s pretty standard

Teddy: When he’s so frail, of course

Gia: So instead of finding yourself a job, you’re spending your time working on your stand-up, are you?

Teddy: Oh I’m sorry, do you have news of our father going bankrupt? I would’ve given you the floor

Gia: Exactly, I was doing work experience with the firm and had my own part-time job during Uni

Teddy: But you still never got the attention you were after, did you? 🥺

Gia: I don’t want attention, I want, and have, a career

Gia: What do you want, Teddy?

Teddy: Currently, I would like you to stop boring me to tears

Gia: For God’s sake, grow up

Teddy: Like you have? No thanks

Gia: Do you want to be a joke, like James?

Teddy: You’re a joke too, don’t exempt yourself

Gia: Except I work hard for what I have, don’t sponge off of mum and dad and I also don’t embarrass them, at every opportunity I have, so, no, I’m not

Teddy: You married into what you have & mother is mortified

Gia: She is not

Teddy: She is

Gia: You’re just saying that

Teddy: She says it, drunk words are the truest, G

Gia: Perhaps she ought to lay off the liquor then

Teddy: Perhaps if she’d married better herself she would

Gia: I fail to see how she could, and this is such a tired, irrelevant fantasy of yours anyway, they’re fine

Teddy: I’m not going to open up about my newer fantasies, especially not to you

Gia: I will never, ever ask you to

Teddy: Go away, you’re making me more upset

Gia: What on earth is wrong with you? You’re behaving more strangely than usual

Teddy: You literally just said you’d never, ever ask

Gia: As a rule, don’t bring your girl trouble to the table if you wouldn’t actually bring the girl

Teddy: I would, but she’d reject the invitation 

Gia: 💔

Teddy: Thank you for your incredible contribution

Gia: You’re not serious, you aren’t serious about anything

Gia: you’ll be fine in the morning

Teddy: It would serve you right if I was dead in the morning, but I’m not pathetic, at least

Gia: You are SO dramatic

Teddy: I have intense feelings about her, you’re dismissive about anything which doesn’t involve your husband’s life insurance

[luveline]

can you do a comfort fic where reader suffers from remembering a bad experience with an ex, and remus tries to comfort her but he is also sad and angry on her behalf? ik it’s kinda vague sorry but feel free to ignore this! thank you☺️

hi tysm for ur request! i hope this is alright CW: implied verbal abuse, narcissism in previous relationship

You wake up to a hand in your hair. You tense, just a little, and feel a warm mouth pecking kisses across your forehead and down, ending at the tail end of your eyebrow. You relax. There’s only one person who’s ever treated you this fondly.

“Are you still sleeping?” Remus whispers.

“Yes,” you whisper back, throat closed up with sleep.

He chuckles and the sound of it washes over your skin in a wave. You force your eyes open, see Remus’ humourous grin, see his face close enough that you can count the handful of freckles jumping over his nose bridge and the white-pink scar that divides them ruthlessly.

You unbury your hand from the sheets and press the tip of your finger against it, follow it up and through his eyebrow. He’s silent as you go, and when you’re done and dropping your hand he catches it, pressing your fingers against his mouth.

“Did you forget our date?” he asks into your skin.

Rhetorical, you summarise, as you glance at the small clock on your bedside table. It’s half an hour past when he had planned to pick you up, and where he’s nicely dressed and looking his best, you’re disheveled and sweaty with sleep in the corners of your eyes. Your heart jumps up into your throat and your legs are moving before you can think about it, pushing the duvet off of you in a hurried shush of fabric and pulling your hand out of his.

“I’m so sorry. Remus,” you say as you stagger on dead, slippery footing to your vanity table and look at yourself in the mirror, hardly ready to go anywhere. You turn back to him. “I’m sorry.”

He’s surprised, evidently, his eyebrows climbing and lips parted. “It’s alright, dove.”

“It’s not alright. God, I’m a fucking idiot,” you say, making for your wardrobe. You glare at the contents. Pins and needles eat your hands.

“What? You’re not-“

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep, I promise. And I’ll be ready so quickly. I’m sorry. Thank you for waiting for me.”

You dig into your clothes as you talk, pulling a soft flowery blouse from its hanger hard enough to send it careening into the plywood back. It clatters loudly. Remus is reaching for you, his hand around your upper arm, and you still so suddenly he drops his hand like he’s been burned.

“It’s okay,” he says. His voice has taken on a firmer quality. You hesitate before you turn to him and find his expression hard to read. “It’s more than okay. I know you didn’t mean it.”

You’re too wound up to let it be, knee deep in a memory he can’t see. You shake your head from side to side and open your mouth to talk but nothing wants to come out except hot air. You swallow and look down at the fabric in your hands.

“I didn’t mean to,” you say again.

“I know, baby.”

He sighs heavily and you feel every millisecond of it in your palm. You press it to your chest, feel the heartbeat racing underneath your breast. You keep waiting for the correction that won’t come as an awkward and, frankly, alien quiet grows between you both.

“Would you look at me?” he asks, cutting the static wide open with the strong tenor of his voice.

You raise your eyes obediently. There’s a stoniness in his face, his jaw tenses.

“I promise you,” he says slowly, enunciating with precision, “that I don’t mind. The date is an excuse to see you, right? I don’t care about dinner or that you fell asleep. It was an accident.”

He takes the shirt from your hands and hangs it back up as you shift from foot to foot, looking over your shoulder to assess his stance. Remus never lies about anything, at least not with you, and the juxtaposition between what he’s said and his body language has you chewing your cheek.

He shuts the wardrobe door but doesn’t turn back as he says. “Did something happen, before?”

“I was ungrateful if I wasn’t ready when he told me to be.”

He nods and finally turns. There’s anger in his shoulders, in his mouth, but there's a sad-lined tenderness too as he approaches. Slow, his arm slides across the tops of your shoulders impossibly lightly, his fingers finding a home in the curve of your neck.

You feel the acute nausea that comes with relief like this and shove your face into his chest, hard to his soft, pleased when his hold becomes a hug.

“Sorry, I know you’re not him,” you mumble. He makes a dismissive sound.

“Are you okay?” he asks, hands soothing.

You’re not sure. The memory of things can sometimes hurt more than you think they will, and they come with the hot rush shame of having lived it and at having acted so out of order now that you aren’t living it.

You rub your face into his shirt and sigh, suddenly tired.

“About being ‘fucking stupid’? You’re not. You never have been, you never will be,” he says as he cups the back of your head where it rests. “Those are the words of somebody who needed to feel big; they’re not true. Yeah?”

“Yeah, I know.”

He pulls your face away from his chest and rubs the pad of his thumb under your eye. “I know you know.”

You smile as he leans down for a kiss, warmth seeping down into your fingertips, replacing the ache.

[suna-reversed]

Somebody else

sukuna x reader/ yuuji x reader

wherein, your best friend takes over your lover’s body

decided to combine these two👀

(❤️=size difference)

Warnings/Tags- dub con, unprotected sex, creampie, manhandling, choking, nipple play, mirror sex, degredation, slapping (once), spit kink, size kink, oral (m.receiving), bulging, slight exhibitionism?, yandere themes heavily implied! (all characters are aged up‼️)

The arrangement, per say, was quite peculiar. But you somehow still managed to work it out, much thanks to Yuuji’s patience and his willingness to allow such a thing. 

You couldn’t remember when it started, perhaps it was your constant bickering with the mouth on Yuuji’s cheek or how it always seemed to show up whenever you were around, or perhaps it the time he saved your life during one particularly tedious mission, surprising everyone else.

Whatever it was, it had ended up making the king of curses grow a soft spot for you. Well, at least what would be considered soft for a curse. It was never acknowledged except for the one time you went to sleep in between tattooed arms and woke up to the face of your best friend staring intently at you, 

“It’s okay, as long as you’re happy.” He’d said. You didn’t pay much heed to why he hadn’t removed his body from yours. 

Time with Sukuna was scarce, most of it being when Yuuji would be too tired after a mission and involuntarily shift, leaving you alone in the hours of dusk with your lover, as he drove his lips all over your body, moaning filthy things in your ear as he rut into you- you could only hope your best friend was unconscious all throughout it. 

----

You were on your knees in between Sukuna’s legs, taking as much of his huge girth down your throat as you could, your hands taking care of what your tongue couldn’t. Glancing up at him through your lashes, you don’t fail to miss the smug look on his face as you desperately whine around his cock. You know he’s just playing, god forbid he ever cums anywhere except for deep inside your cunt. 

“Begging for my cock already- how pathetic.” 

His voice is gravelly calm, sending a shiver straight down your spine. You whine once again as he slightly bucks his hips up, your mouth struggling to encompass his massive member. One of his hands comes to grip your hair, your moan coming out muffled against a mouth full of cock. 

“So desperate for it, aren’t you? Well, if you want it so bad you’d better start taking it-” He’s cut off with a groan, “Ah- shut up brat-” 

You somehow get the feeling that he wasn’t talking to you, but you don’t have much the time to ponder over it as the hand on your head starts pushing down urging you to start moving once again. 

“Fuck fuck- stop it! No-”

His voice is laced with genuine annoyance and you hurriedly pull yourself off of him, brows scrunched in confusion as you look up at him, wondering what you were doing wrong. 

The face that stares back at you however is chillingly unfamiliar, a cheshire grin spread across it which makes the marked face of your lover seem like it is of a madman. You’re thoroughly confused by Sukuna’s behaviour- you know he’s complex at times but you’re truly at a loss of comprehension this time. 

“Did I say that you could stop?” 

You instinctively shake your head, no words leaving your mouth as you remain stunned with his strange behaviour. 

His hand comes to caress your cheek, thumb moving to brush against your bottom lip,

“C’mere” he mumbles, and your body seems to move on it’s own, as you move your face close to his. The thumb on your bottom lip prods at your skin until you open your mouth and Sukuna brings his head to rest against yours- you’re too enchanted by the feral look in his eyes, gasping at the feeling of his saliva landing against the tip of your tongue. He presses your jaw shut with one hand as you struggle against it,

“Be a good girl and swallow it.” 

His commanding tone instantly has you doing so. You’ve never seen such a side to him, however, you can’t say that you mind it. His grip on your jaw loosens and you let him switch your positions- not like you could’ve fought against his raw strength. His muscular chest is pressed to yours as he pins you down beneath him, one large hand exploring the valley in between your legs, dangerously trailing close to right where you want it to be but never quite reaching there. 

“You like watching this huh?” 

Again, there’s a strange feeling in your gut, but it’s overpowered as two fingers land against your sensitive nub, lightly pinching it which makes you push your hips against his fingers, asking for more. 

A yelp escapes past your lips as he suddenly moves away, getting off the bed to stand at the edge. His cock stands tall against his stomach, tip still dripping with a mix of pre-cum and your spit from before. 

“Come here, slut.” 

You’re a little shocked at his words- used to getting spoiled with praise by this time of your rendezvous. Was he angry about something tonight? 

“No- I forbid you from leaving my arms.” He had said as you cuddled earlier in the night, making you laugh and slap his chest- which was exactly what led to where you were now. He seemed fine before- perhaps he just felt rougher tonight?

“Kitten, don’t make me tell you twice.” 

He growls out loud, snapping you out of your daze. You’re instantly crawling towards him, looking up at him with a mixture of both need and confusion as you wonder what he’s up to. A hand comes down to wrap around your throat, his breath right next to your ear as he leans forward, 

“Next time-” the grip on your throat tightens, “...you listen when I tell you something.” You weakly nod your head, sighing as he pulls away. 

Smack!

The burn on your cheek stings, making tears well up in the corner of your eyes- you look up, only to find yourself staring into a pair of orbs in between crinkled eyes, a smirk resting atop his lips- you almost feel guilty for the arousal that pools in between your legs. 

“Now now, let’s show you what a proper fuck is.” 

You’re being picked up, strong hands coming to knead the flesh of your ass as he walks you two over to the full length mirror in the corner of the room. Before you know it, he’s sitting you down on the chair in front of your vanity table, turning you around so that you’re met with the reflection of your legs spread over his thighs, his cock rubbing against your soaking pussy. 

You throw your head back against his chest as one of his hands moves forward to play with your clit, the other twisting and pinching your nipples. You’re grinding against his wet cock as he increases the pace of his fingers, moaning profanities as his teeth dig into your neck. You feel your orgasm building up, the tight coil in your stomach getting close to bursting and right as you’re there-

“No!” You cry out loud. 

Your eyes meet in the mirror and you’re slightly thrown off by the bewildered expression on Sukuna’s face- almost guilt filled and panicked- his hands completely positioned away from your body. 

“No please- don’t stop- need you filling me up so bad please.” You beg out loud, tears falling down your eyes, the ripples of your ripped away orgasm still pulsing through your body. 

And just like that, it’s gone, and the hunger-filled eyes are back. 

“Oh, she said she wants it- who am I to deny such a precious little thing?” 

You don’t have the time to register his words as strong arms lift you up, positioning his huge cock against your slick heat. You moan at the contact, still sensitive but needy as you clench your eyes in pleasure. 

“Do you know you look real pretty when you cry?” 

Your mind is too fuzzy from the feeling of his tip stretching your insides to respond. A hand comes to your jaw- angling it forward,

“Come on, look at how my cock stretches your tight little hole- how you gush around it like a desperate whore.” You find your eyes opening out of their own accord and almost moan at the sight you’re met with.

His enormous length is almost halfway inside you, the base of his shaft glistening with your dripping juices as your tiny hole struggles to fit all of him in. One of his arms is protectively wrapped around your waist, pushing down against the bulge starting to form on your stomach while the other kneads your tits, pressing them together, pulling your nipples every now and then. His scarlet orbs hold a wild look from where they glance up at you, his face bowed down, teeth biting into your neck. He makes sure you see him smirk against your skin as he pushes himself up deeper into you making you cry out loud. He starts bouncing you up and down on his cock, moving your body like a rag doll as the air is filled with both of your loud groans and grunts.

Yuuji would argue that he’s dreamed about this for weeks- almost months- perhaps from the first time he laid eyes upon you. All those times he had to watch your body underneath his- only to barely be able to feel you, your saccharine moans hitting his ears and him not being the reason for it- it pissed him off beyond reason. He thrusted his hips harder into you, the hand on your tits moving down to rub circles onto your clit. 

“Ah fuck- I’m close.”

That’s right- you were moaning for him now. More than you ever had for the stupid curse. Did he ever fill you up this well? Always handling you like you were as fragile as glass- when this is how a real whore like you wants to get fucked. He feels pride swell in his chest as he hears you crying about how big he is, how well he’s filling you up, how it’s too much- but you’re still crying for him to fill you up aren’t you? All while the king of curses sits back and watches helplessly. 

He feels your walls clamp down on him, your frail little body compared to his thrashing from the overstimulation of pleasure as he continues to fuck you through your climax. He finds his own pleasure not too later, spilling inside you with a loud moan, grinning at the sight of you all fucked out in the mirror- his seed dripping out of your hole as he pulls you up, turning you around so that you’re facing him. Your head falls against his chest, arms coming around his neck- the audacity you have- no, you don’t get to do this shit with him after all the years he took care of you- all the years he spent loving you- only for you to go ahead and open your legs the second a pathetic man with tattoos and a silver tongue showed up. 

“You didn’t think we were done did you?” 

You’re still too exhausted from your previous feat, almost clawing at his body heat being pulled away from you as you’re manhandled onto your knees on the floor. Your pleas are shut down with a single stern look from him- apparently puppy eyes weren’t gonna work on him tonight like they usually do. 

“I’m gonna make sure every single part of your body is covered with my cum by the time I’m done with you. Now suck.” 

Who were you to deny him? Especially when he kept his word, fucking into you all over the bedroom, spilling his load onto your tits, ass, face- everywhere. You were so tired by the end of the night, you didn’t notice how he didn’t run a bath for you or stroke your hair while pressing kisses to marks he’d littered your neck with like always. Instead, the last thing you saw was his back as he walked out the room- did it not have tattoos? You didn’t remember it the next day as you clocked out. 

The next few days are strange- with no sighting of your lover. You assume it’s because Yuuji’s busy with training or missions. That is until you meet him in the cafeteria. 

“y/n! Good morning!” He greets you cheerfully, and you feel a little guilty for wishing he wasn’t in such high spirits- hoping he’d have been tired enough for you to get some time with Sukuna.

“Hey, where have you been?” You ask while leaning into his side hug. Just for the matter of a second, you think you notice a feral look flashing through his eyes- gosh, how much had you missed Sukuna to have to be imagining such a thing. Yuuji is still speaking, his usual happy grin on his face,

“...no worries though, I’ll make sure you get your time with your grumpy big cat.” Your heart warms at your best friend’s considerate offer, knowing his time is limited and he still chooses to give it to you.

“Thank you so much Yuuji! Have I ever told you how grateful I am to have you as a friend?”

“It’s no problem y/n!” He says, ruffling your hair, “As long as you’re happy…”

You do not understand why Sukuna refuses to enter your room that day- insisting you shift somewhere else- or why he refuses to even touch any part of your body where he himself had left marks upon- or why there’s an air of jealousy and possessiveness to him as he bends you over the couch, hands tied behind your back while he ruts into you like an animal in heat, promises of fucking you better than ever before being grunted into your ear.

Taglist- @bakugohoex @mahitochan @saturnmoon @lilshortcakess @itsyaboiana @p-each-y-day @osmosly @jotazinha @captainmads2092 @laura-marie-16 @tsuki-kusa

Thanks to my masochist baby @bakugohoex for helping with the idea🙄🙄 no I’m not killing the reader❤️

[blurglesmurfklaine]

Picture This

Summary: Kurt takes an unflattering picture of Blaine. Fluff ensues. S2 Canon Compliant Drabble!

A/N: So, Thise BTS photos of Darren in Blaine costume that came out the other day...... thanks to @porcelainandthehobbit (HummeIAnders0n on ao3) who 100% came up with this adorable idea!!!! I am actually helpless to her cute ideas tbh

enjoyyyyyy

Read on AO3

******

“I can’t believe they rejected the Warbler’s tour at the mall,” Blaine laments. 

“Blaine.” Kurt stares at him, both of them lingering in the senior commons after the latest Warbler’s meeting. Wes had announced that one of the teachers, Mr. Haggard, had decided against chaperoning the Warblers performance at the local mall, due to concerns of it interfering with academic performance. “It was a fifteen minute setlist next to an Auntie Anne’s. I think we’ll survive.”

Blaine pouted and reached for Kurt’s hands, swinging them between their bodies. “You know I love their pretzel dogs.”

It’s been nearly two months since their Regionals competition, since Blaine boldly professed his feelings for Kurt as he was decorating Pavarott’s casket, and Kurt still wasn’t used to the way his heart skipped a beat whenever Blaine was near, or the butterflies in his stomach when they were alone together.

“It’s kind of cute watching you get this worked up over not getting your way.”

“Yes,” Blaine starts playfully. “I’m in full on tantrum mode right now, actually. In fact, I have half a mind to teepee Mr. Haggard’s office right now.”

“Please,” Kurt scoffs. “You could never be that much of a badboy. I can see you sending a strongly worded email… Maybe.”

“I can be bad,” Blaine says, half joking, half defiantly. “Like this.” He puts on a stoic face and places his hands in front of him, sticking out his thumb and middle fingers on both. 

Kurt is like lightning in pulling out his phone from his pocket and snapping a picture, not even wasting time to turn off the flash that washes out Blaine’s skin.

Instant. Regret. 

“Kurt, no! Oh my god, delete that!” He cries, swatting at Kurt’s hands.

Kurt deliberately keeps the phone out of Blaine’s reach.

“I don’t know why I did that, that was so rude of me!” He continues to cry.

“Please. This isn’t even the most embarrassing picture I have of you, Blaine Anderson. Do you remember the Titan’s championship game?” He quickly scrolls to another picture and flashes it to Blaine,

“You said you deleted that!”

Kurt rolls his eyes. “I’m a lot of things, but strong enough to delete this picture of you is not one of them.”

Blaine groans and hides his face in his palms, refusing to break the shield in his face. “That’s it, I’m never showing my face around you!” 

“Fine. You don’t have to. My Lock Screen shows it well enough.”

Blaine breaks and gapes at Kurt. “Did you just say Lock Screen?”

Kurt flashes him his phone, as well as a cocky grin. 

“Kurt!” Blaine whines. “You’ll never be able to explain that picture to anyone!”

All the playful belligerence in the world couldn’t stop the butterflies from forming in Blaine’s stomach. It was a mortifying picture, sure, but there was no stopping the rush of giddiness when Blaine realized Kurt wanted him on his screen. 

Kurt shrugs, feigning nonchalance. “I’ll just tell them it’s my boyfriend.”

Blaine has to bite the inside of his cheek so that his smile won’t break containment, and even then it’s a lost cause. 

It’s only been a few weeks since Blaine confessed his feelings for Kurt. No, they haven’t had The Talk about Labeling whatever They Were, but Blaine has been more than ready since they shared their first kiss in the senior commons.

He raises his eyebrows. “Boyfriend?” He asks coquettishly, taking a step towards Kurt.

Kurt scrunches his nose up a bit, dropping the cloak of confidence and revealing his vulnerability. “Yeah… is that okay?”

“Well, I thought that much was obvious,” Blaine says, before pulling Kurt in for a dizzying kiss. “Although,” he adds after a moment. “I hope you know this means I’m going to have to find an equally embarrassing photo of you to put as my lock screen, right?”

“Are we going to be one of those couples who have cheesy matching screensavers?”

“I’d expect nothing less from my boyfriend.”

[seijorhi]

Reminiscent

i’m (semi) back, y’all, and i come bearing a fic!! fhdjhfjdk it’s for oikawa i won’t apologise

Oikawa Tooru x female reader

TW non-con, drunk/drugged reader, forced infidelity, emotional manipulation, angst, past trauma, coercion, mild(ish?) smut, nsfw

“F-fuck, cutie! Just like – hah– just like that!”

You weren’t the clubbing type.

Not usually, at least – but exams were over and one of your friends was fresh off a bad breakup, one night letting loose wouldn’t hurt.

Walking is… difficult, your steps are sloppy – there’s an arm wrapped around your waist, your own slung over a stranger’s shoulders. Why are you outside? Where are your friends – they… they promised they wouldn’t leave you. 

“She good, dude?”

A soft, pretty laugh rumbles at your side, “Yeah, she’s gonna be just fine.”

And you remember the bar, the overpriced cocktails and the saccharine sweetness of strawberry liquor on your tongue. The dizzying lights and the bass that thumped so loudly you felt it reverberate in your chest. You knew the rules; they’d been drilled into you since you were sixteen years old.

Stick together, don’t accept drinks from strangers, and watch the one in your hand like a hawk - it doesn’t leave your sight.

A tongue between the valley of your breasts, long fingers curling up inside of you. 

“You like that, huh pretty girl? You gonna cum for me?”

They wouldn’t have just abandoned you, right? Maybe you told them to go. Maybe they thought you wanted it; to go home with the handsome stranger.

You never had the guts to ask them, never spoke about that night again. Not to anyone.

Pain. Something thrusting inside of you, splitting you open while he moans and pants atop you. It hurts so much and you want it to stop. 

Please stop. Please. Please. Please.

You’re begging, at least you think you are, but the words come out jumbled and wrong, and he just laughs, hiking up your thigh so he can fuck you deeper.

Why won’t he stop?

When you wake up, bruised and sore and all alone in your bed, it feels like a bad dream. You know it’s not – not with cum still seeping from between your thighs, the scent of the stranger’s cologne clinging to your sheets.

And you scrub your skin raw in the shower, but it isn’t enough to rid you of his touch.

—

It’s nothing like what they show on tv.

There’s no sympathetic detective to pat you on your shoulder while you break down, swearing that they’ll find the man who did this and you’ll get your justice.

You don’t go to the cops because you’ll know what they’ll say. You were drunk, drugged, and even if you could remember what he looked like (his eyes were brown, you think, and there’s a flash of a smirk in your head but the moment you try to focus on it it slips away like smoke) any evidence of rape washed down the drain the moment you stepped into the steaming shower.

At least… that’s what you tell yourself. It’s easier than admitting you’re terrified of judgemental eyes. 

Or worse; pitying ones.

So you pretend that nothing happened. You show up to your classes and throw yourself into studying, make the time to get coffee with your friends, you even pick up a part time job – it’s good to keep busy. 

The nightmares are just that; nightmares.

And things are fine, until they’re not.

—

“Baby, you’re here!!”

There’s barely time to drop your bags before she’s pulling you into a warm hug. “Hi mom,” you reply, squeezing her back.

When she draws back to take you in, one hand cupping your cheek, she frowns, “You look tired sweetheart. Have you been sleeping enough?”

“Yeah, just tired from exams and stuff.”

She looks unconvinced, but mercifully doesn’t push the issue. Of course, you don’t tell her that you missed your last two exams because you’d walked past some guy wearing that same cologne and just choked – that instead of finishing off your semester strong, you’d spent the day alternating between throwing up and crying in bed.

She doesn’t need to know that, because of that, you’ll probably fail both classes and have to retake them again next semester on top of an already full course load. It’s fine; you’ll figure it out.

For now, you work on matching her enthusiasm at having you home, grabbing your bags to bring them inside and into your old room.

“Oh, wait–”

Abruptly, you pause, gazing in confusion from the doorway of your bedroom. There’s a duffle bag lying open and empty atop your bed, a tangled jump rope, some weights, an empty bottle, a sweat towel – even what looks like a spare workout tee scattered haphazardly across the sheets.

“… I didn’t take you for a gym junkie, mom.”

She stops behind you, sighing. “It’s not mine it’s– Tooru said he was going to tidy it up, sorry sweetheart.” She sweeps past you to start tidying it up, but not before you catch sight of her wide eyed, deer in headlights expression.

And you can’t help the lone eyebrow that rises, falling back against the doorframe, arms folding across your chest. “Tooru, huh?” you grin, “And who might Tooru be?”

The flustered, almost guilty look she sends you makes you want to laugh – this is easy, comfortable, this you can do – but you restrain yourself. Just. “Tooru is… he’s– well, he’s the man I’m… seeing.”

She admits it like she’s confessing to a crime, eyes all wide and nervous; anticipating your reaction. And you suppose it’s not unwarranted. As far as you’re aware, she’s been alone ever since the day your dad walked out on you both – raising you was always the priority, or maybe the excuse. But you’re not fourteen anymore, you don’t need another father figure or every spare bit of her time and attention, and she doesn’t need your approval for this.

So you smile at her, “Is he nice?”

She lights up, her features – almost a mirror image of your own – softening as she beams, “He’s amazing, honey. I honestly don’t know how this whole thing really happened, or why he’s even interested in someone like me but… I lucked out with him.”

And so it goes, you prying little bits of information about the mysterious Tooru as the afternoon passes.

She tells you that they met a few months back, at the bakery she likes in town – and how she kept running into him; at the grocery store, and then at the park, and then on her way back from yoga that one night.

She tells you that he’s a terrible flirt, all smooth and charming with warm, pretty brown eyes, but he’s a good man beneath it all and she’s never met anyone like him. 

It strikes you, as you watch your mom animatedly talk about him, that you’ve never seen her look like this before. 

Happy. 

She can’t stop smiling, and when you look at her, really look, she’s almost a different person – younger somehow, a bit more care-free. It suits her, and you wonder with a slight pang in your heart how you never noticed how lonely she was before.

And she’s adamant that they’re taking things slowly, that he still has an apartment of his own in town – which to be honest, you really aren’t gonna judge her on either way – but it is kind of funny simply because whether your mom realises it or not, it’s clearly a lie.

The subtle reclaiming of your bedroom aside, there’s traces of Tooru scattered all around the house; the extra toothbrush and aftershave you’d spotted in the bathroom, the men’s  shoes and the jacket by the door, red wine in the cupboard when your mom’s only ever indulged in white.

You haven’t been into her bedroom, but at this point you’d hazard a guess that there’s at least one drawer full of Tooru’s clothes, probably half her closet cleared out for him as well.

“He’s coming for dinner, but I just wanted today to be just us,” she says, reaching across the couch to squeeze your hand. And you’re grateful for it, because you’re happy for her – you are – but you’re not so sure how you would’ve handled meeting the stranger holding your mother’s heart first thing. At least, not after the last few days.

Not when you still feel all… brittle. 

—

Tooru arrives a little after seven, and to say that he’s not entirely what you were expecting is kind of an understatement. 

She’d gushed about how tall and handsome he is – though personally, you think pretty’s the more accurate word, what with his soft, delicate features, perfect cupid’s bow lips and all. What she’d neglected to tell you was that the man in question, stepping through the front door with a faint smile on his face, has to be at least ten years younger than her, mid-thirties at most.

Suddenly, your mom’s initial reluctance to bring him up starts to make sense.

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” he murmurs, stopping by your mom to drop a fleeting kiss to her cheek before warm brown eyes turn to you. 

Your heart stutters.

“Sweetheart,” your mom begins, slipping an arm around his waist and relaxing into his side, “this is Tooru– Oikawa,” she corrects herself.

He smiles at you, friendly and charming, “It’s great to finally meet you, your mom’s told me so much – all good things, of course!”

You force yourself to smile in return, “Yeah, you too.” 

There’s nothing overtly wrong with Oikawa, age difference aside – your mom’s clearly head over heels in love with the guy and on a surface level he seems nice enough, but you find yourself glad for the fact that he doesn’t make a move to step closer, try to shake your hand or god forbid hug you or something like that.

He’s nothing but a gentleman as your mom steps back into the kitchen to finish off dinner, setting the table without being prompted, pouring a glass of wine for your mom and one for himself before he offers a glass to you. 

“Oh, no I’m alright, thanks.”

You don’t drink so much anymore. He shrugs, like it’s no big deal but your mom pouts at you from the kitchen. “C’mon, sweetie. We’re celebrating tonight! One drink won’t hurt.”

“We’re celebrating?” you ask.

She throws you a wink, gaze softening as she turns to glance at Oikawa, already diligently pouring you a glass, “Of course we are. It’s not every day my girl comes home, and it’s nice having you both here with me.”

Oikawa’s fingers brush against yours for a fleeting second as he passes you the glass, and you have to fight to keep yourself from ripping your hand away. It’s nothing, you just– you’re not good with strangers touching you, and as nice as he is and as much as your mom might be infatuated with him, he is still a stranger.

“Absolutely,” he agrees, a playful twinkle in his eye as he clinks his wine glass against yours. “So you’re at uni, right? What are you studying?”

Uni’s the last thing you want to be thinking about right now, but whether or not Oikawa genuinely cares, he’s obviously trying to make an effort to get to know you. For your mother’s sake, grinning innocuously in the kitchen as she adds the last little touches to dinner, you suck it up, plaster a smile across your face and ignore the twinge of discomfort in your gut.

You can handle one night of small talk.

—

You wake the following morning to the sound of voices carrying down the hall.  

Not your mother’s – both are too deep, and your mom left a few hours ago for work. Figuring that one of them at least is likely Oikawa, you pull on a thin, satin robe over your pajamas, tying the sash in a loose knot before you slip from the room.

Those suspicions are proven correct; you round the corner to find Oikawa sitting up at the kitchen counter, a warm cup of coffee in his hand. There’s another man, a touch shorter, but imposing with dark, spiky hair and olive green eyes standing on the other side, hands braced on the marble top, glaring at Oikawa.

They both look up at the sound of your hesitant approach, the stranger abruptly straightening up, while Oikawa merely grins.

“Ah, you’re up,” he observes cheerfully, taking a sip of his coffee.

Your eyes flicker between him and the stranger – clearly comfortable enough in your home and with Oikawa, despite the faint, lingering irritation still visible on his face – and as your cheeks warm, you find yourself wishing you’d put actual clothes on before coming out to investigate.

“I- I heard voices…” you trail off, awkwardly folding your arms over your chest. “Is mom–”

“At work,” he supplies. “Do you want some breakfast? Coffee, maybe?”

You risk another glance at the other man, watching you now with an unreadable expression, dark eyebrows furrowed. You swallow uncomfortably, shifting slightly as you shake your head. “No, I-I’m okay.”

And in an instant, a flash, something like recognition passes through those olive eyes. 

 Oikawa chuckles smoothly, finally tearing his eyes away from you to address his friend, “Iwa, stop being so rude. You’re scaring the poor thing.”

The stranger, Iwa, just scoffs. “You’re a real piece of shit, y’know?”

If he’s bothered by the scathing insult, Oikawa doesn’t show it, merely shrugging before turning his attention back to you with a smirk. “Ignore him, he’s just pissy this morning.”

You’d have to be a complete idiot not to sense the uncomfortable tension between the two of them – and now you. This is your home, but it feels like you’re intruding, like you’ve stumbled into a conversation you have no business hearing, but even if you wanted to leave your feet are rooted to the ground. 

“Besides,” Oikawa continues, “he was just leaving anyway, weren’t you, Iwa?” It’s almost a purr, the way he speaks, but even the silken words can’t entirely mask the razor sharpness that lies beneath. 

Goosebumps prickle along your arms.

Staring at you, Iwa opens his mouth like he wants to say something, but seemingly thinks better of it, snapping it shut with an audible click. He huffs, shaking his head. “Yeah, fine, whatever.”

He spares you another glance on his way out, standing frozen by the hall. For a split second he slows, his scowl softening just a fraction–

“Iwa.”

It sounds like a warning, but he only rolls his eyes and huffs again. You think he’s going to walk out without another word to either of you, but he pauses once more, lingering by the entryway.

“You look a lot like your mother, anyone ever tell you that?”

He’s out the door before you can even think to reply, letting it slam shut in his wake. And you flinch at the harsh sound, something uneasy settling into the pit of your stomach–

“Hey,” Oikawa’s there by your side, his fingers entwining with yours. You hadn’t even heard him move. “Come sit, don’t worry about Iwa. He’ll get over it.”

His voice is soothing, you don’t pay attention to the words themselves, the implications there. You forget for a moment that you’re still in your pj’s, that you really don’t know him that well either, and mindlessly follow when he leads you to the couch and sits you down, taking the seat next to you.

And while your head’s still spinning, an uncomfortable feeling gnawing in the pit of your gut, Oikawa seems entirely unbothered by the turn of events, sighing contentedly as he stretches his long legs out, one arm sliding along the back of the couch behind you.

“Do your… friends usually just drop by like that?”

You don’t know where the words come from, or why that’s the first question on your mind, but when you glance over at him, Oikawa’s just watching you, an odd little half smirk playing on his lips. “Sometimes.”

His answer does little to soothe your unease. It’s really not a big deal, you know it’s not. Officially or not, this is his home too – you’re the one out of place. And if he wants to have people over when your mom’s not around, that’s fine, he can do whatever the hell he wants, but… 

You came home for peace. To hide away for a few days and pretend that everything’s just fine and you’re not one breakdown away from shattering entirely. You wanted your mom and the comfort of your old bedroom and safety and it’s fine – great, even – that she’s found somebody who makes her happy, but this– him and the weirdness with his friend and everything is just too much, and–

You don’t realise that your leg’s bouncing until Oikawa’s hand comes to rest on your bare thigh. It’s enough to make your stomach flip, an icy chill trickling down your spine as his thumb slowly strokes across the soft, plush skin. “Relax, cutie,” he coos, chuckling softly when you visibly flinch and squeeze your eyes shut.

“P-please don’t call me that,” you choke out, fighting against the wave of nausea rising up your throat. And it’s just like last time, his cologne, notes of vanilla and cedar and spice, swirling thick and heady around you. That phantom touch, the warmth of hands gripping too tight, unwanted kisses hot and eager against your skin. 

“No?” he asks, cruel amusement dripping from his tone. “Why not? I think it suits you, cutie.”

You want him to stop, to push him away, slap him – do anything really, but you’re frozen in place, shaking as the memories you’ve fought so hard to shove down come bubbling back to the surface. You can’t think straight, not with his hand sliding between your thighs, the warmth of his body pressing too closely against yours.

“Iwa was right, you know,” Oikawa murmurs, smoldering brown eyes drinking you in as you childishly shake your head, willing him away. His other hand catches your cheek, drawing your face back to him as tears well in your eyes, stubbornly clinging to your lashes. “She does look so much like you, the same eyes even.” 

He whispers it like a secret, nuzzling his nose against yours like a lover would as he sighs sweetly, “It’s the only reason I could stand it.”

And then he’s kissing you, the tenderness of his lips belied by iron fingers digging into your jaw when you whimper and try to wrench yourself free. 

It’s not like the nightmares that startle you awake in the middle of the night, gasping for air; hazy, broken recollections that fade the moment you try to reach for them. No, every touch, every moment of his assault passes in stark clarity.

The feel of Oikawa’s mouth as it trails greedily down your neck, his hand sliding under the cotton of your sleep shorts, even his pleased little hum when he realises you’re not wearing panties. “Such a good girl for me. Fuck, I’ve missed this.”

This time there’s no drugs in your system keeping you pliant and helpless, but that doesn’t make a difference. Not when his words echo in your head, playing again and again until every awful, sickening piece falls into place.

Long, nimble fingers stroke at your folds, and you can’t help the shivery gasp that leaves you when the tip of his middle finger sweeps over your clit. 

“Please– please don’t do this,” you sniffle.

Oikawa presses another fleeting kiss to your shoulder, “Shh, none of that. Let me help you, baby.”

“N-no, I don’t, I don’t– Stop!”

Knocking away the hands that try to push him back, he hooks his fingers over the hem of your shorts and slides them down your legs, your pitifully weak struggles only making things easier for him. It’s only when Oikawa reaches for his own zipper that panic truly strikes home.

You can’t just lie here and let this happen again. You won’t.

And like a switch flipped, you start to trash like a wild thing beneath him, the scream you’ve kept buried inside of you for months ripping itself free from your throat–

Only for the fingers that had been toying with your pussy to be shoved down your throat, cutting you off with a choked gurgle. As you gag, fruitlessly try to tug yourself free, Oikawa leans in nice and close – except this time there’s no gentleness to his expression, nothing but viciousness as he grins and bares his teeth. 

“You wanna yell, pretty girl? Want the neighbours to come running, let them see me fuck you?” He grinds his hips against you, his breath shivery as he pants at the friction of his half hard cock against your side. Nausea twists at your gut, acrid and bitter – you want to be sick, to cry and beg with him to stop but with his fingers still stuffed in your mouth, his thumb digging into the soft underside of your jaw all you can manage is an unintelligible whine. He hums, kissing away the single hot tear that spills down your cheek, “You think if you cry loudly enough, mommy’ll come home and save you?”

And it’s like time stands still as he laughs, cruel eyes glinting when he presses down on your tongue, warm saliva pooling around his digits. “Such a little whore, trying to seduce her poor, innocent boyfriend the very moment her back’s turned. Tell me, cutie,” he coos, “who do you think she’d believe?”

Your breath hitches, another sob catching in your throat – even if you wanted to answer, you can’t and he knows it. “She’s in love with me, you know. It’s almost a little pathetic how easy it was to manipulate her into bed – so lonely… desperate for love, for somebody – anybody – to pay attention to her, take care of her,” he sneers, distaste curling at his lips. “Wouldn’t it just break her fragile little heart to know she’s fallen for the man who raped her baby girl?”

Another garbled cry slips past his fingers and you can only watch in frozen horror as his other hand drifts back to his zipper. “You want to protect her, don’t you?”

His grip relents just enough for you to jerk a shaky nod.

“Pretty girl, so good for me.” Another kiss pressed to your cheek as the quiet hiss of his zipper fills the air around you. “It’ll be our little secret, hmm? She doesn’t need to know just yet, let her be happy a little while longer…”

Sliding down his briefs just far enough for his cock to spring free, he strokes it for a moment with slow, leisurely movements, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he watches your eyes widen. 

And when he pulls you forward, guides your mouth towards it, pre-cum beading at the tip, withdrawing his fingers so you can quickly gasp for air, you just… let him.

The fight’s gone, as quickly as it had come. 

You let his fingers curl through your hair, use it as an anchor when your lips part to force his cock between them. And he moans, low and shivery as your tongue slides along the underside of his shaft and you try not to gag around the sudden intrusion. 

You think that there’s no room left inside of you for shame, but as his other hand creeps back between your legs, teasing at your cunt, you burn with it, clinging to the pyre of your own humiliation and disgust.

And still, you kneel on the couch, letting him fuck your mouth, letting those long, pretty fingers curl up inside of you – moaning around his cock when they stroke that perfect little spot.

“I wanted to – shit – take this slow,” he tells you as his hips jerk upwards, shuddering in breathless delight when his cock hits the back of your throat and it convulses around him. “I wanted to make you want me.”

Wet, messy, gags sound with every unwitting thrust – you’ve no choice but to swallow him down, let him fuck your throat like you’re nothing more than a toy for his pleasure. There’s saliva coating your chin, dripping down the length of his dick, pooling around his balls. You can barely breathe, a task made even harder when Oikawa decides to add his thumb into the mix, teasing your clit while he fucks you apart on his fingers.

It feels so fucking good, and you’ve never hated yourself more.

Your throat burns, hot tears stinging in the corners of your eyes, and yet he’s intent on driving you to the brink of your sanity with every calculated flick of his wrist. Something tightens in your belly, a spring coiled too tight, ready to snap, and you can’t help it when your hips chase his fingers, the needy, shameful little whimpers that leave your lips (still wrapped around his thick, twitching cock) as you search for the pleasure to temper the discomfort.

“You don’t have a clue what you do to me, do you? I could barely sleep last night–” 

You choke back a moan, your pussy clenching around his digits, sucking them deeper as white spots pepper your vision and you shudder out a moan.

“So pretty when you cum for me,” he pants, but you don’t care – can’t, not when you’re riding his fingers, tongue lolling out as he gives you a moment’s reprieve to bask in the rippling afterglow of your orgasm before everything comes crashing back down around you. 

Oikawa lets you fall back against the cushions, breathless, trembling and dazed. You’re not stupid enough to believe that’s the end of it, not when his cock’s still hard, throbbing against his toned stomach when he gives it a slow, cursory pump.

“Lie back, cutie,” he whispers, keeping his eyes fixed on you as he pushes himself up off the couch to shed the rest of his clothes.

And as you shuffle obediently downwards, heart hammering in your chest, you find you can’t tear your eyes away from him either.

Tall and handsome, she’d said, but the words truly don’t do him justice. A body corded with lean, powerful muscle, golden, sun-kissed skin, a light smattering of dark hair trailing from his navel down past the well defined V of his hips… 

“See something you like?” he teases, smirking when you squeak and childishly jerk your face away, cheeks burning. “It’s okay to look, you know. I don’t mind the attention.”

It feels too soft, too intimate for what this is. 

This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. He’s not supposed to be attractive, or to make you enjoy your own assault, and you– you’re supposed to fight it, fight him instead of just lying there and taking it… 

But when he climbs back onto the couch, easing your still trembling thighs apart to settle himself between them, his touch is nothing short of reverent, dark eyes wide and adoring as you squirm uneasily beneath him. 

With one hand braced on the cushion beside you, his cock resting just above your aching sex, he leans forward, easing your top up past your tits. “Perfect,” he murmurs.

And it’s enough to make a fresh bout of humiliated tears spring to your eyes. Your hands curl into useless fists at your side as he settles back onto his knees and takes his cock in hand, hissing in pleasure when he glides the flushed, leaking head along your slick folds.

“Fuck, cutie. I don’t think I’m gonna last,” he laughs, biting down on his bottom lip as he watches hot, fat tears slip down your cheeks. With an agonisingly slow pace, Oikawa lines himself up with your cunt and presses in – even with how wet you are, one orgasm already wrung from you, the stretch burns and you can’t stop the choked gasp that leaves you.

His eyes flutter shut, head thrown back back as inch by inch his cock sinks into your pussy until finally he bottoms out with a satisfied groan. “Perfect for me, so fucking good,” he pants, and you barely have time to drag in a breath before his hips are drawing back, another desperate, strangled mewl escaping you.

Bruising fingers dig into your waist, Oikawa cursing as your plush little cunt flutters maddeningly around him– before he eagerly slams his cock forward, stuffing you full once more.

And as you sob and whimper between every wet, obscene squelch of his dick fucking into your soaked pussy, that all too familiar, shameful heat begins to pool in your core.

“Gonna cum for me again, cutie?”

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Wounded Love (Lady Dimitrescu/F!Reader)

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: M for mature. Blood, more blood, heavy language, seriously lots of blood. Literally the bloodiest/most detailed thing I've written. Genre: Super angst with some fluff to ease the pain. We're talking putting honey in your cup of poison to make it taste better. The ending is split, with both a happy and a sad ending. Warnings: Minor surgery (technically?) while the patient is fully awake (that's the reader, btws), blood loss, graphic depiction of a wound and how said wound is taken care of. Possible trigger for self-harm, as the reader is performing part of the surgery themselves. Also brief mention of cannibalism in the bad ending. This may very well be a Dead Dove: Do Not Eat sort of thing. Notes: While I have more medical knowledge than the average person, due to my Girl Scouts training + having a mother as a nurse, I am in no way shape or form a medical professional, and do not suggest that the methods of treatment used in this fic be taken seriously. If you find yourself seriously injured, do not attempt to replicate anything you read here. Only a portion of this is based on a real-ass incident I went through, the rest is based on a dream, and what I experienced was not what you want to do in an emergency.

{Wounded Love}

This was a mistake. Blood stains your leg, your fingers, and bruises start to form all over your exhausted body. And for what? Why had you, a tiny, fragile human, dared to pass through this damned, lycan-infested forest? Because a woman who didn’t even love you asked you to. Now you were going to die, body certain to get left out in the cold or reduced to a pile of gnawed bones. If you had more strength remaining, you might have slammed your hand into the ground in frustration, or screamed until your lungs burned from something other than frost.

But that wouldn’t get you anywhere. Wouldn’t help you get back to the castle, wouldn’t ease the racing of your heart. So you settle for the only thing that might do any good: One quick motion pulls the scarf from your neck, sending a chill down your spine that you promptly ignore. Even with shaky hands and numb fingers, your experience is enough to let you wrap the cloth around your leg, tying the ends in a knot to secure it. The pressure hurts, just not enough for you to prefer bleeding out. A test step reveals that walking is mildly more difficult now.

“I’m going to haunt her,” you muse, under your breath, tears starting to freeze at the corner of your eyes. Still, you are as quietly determined as ever, and so once more you limp down the path. Every time you put weight on your injured leg it protests harder. If not for the snow and ice covering the ground, you might have quickly searched for a walking stick. “What could be so important about this damn package? Couldn’t Doug or whatever-his-fucking-name-is deliver it? Man can practically teleport, and here I am, watching as blood loss and hypothermia race to see who can kill me first.”

Gods were you angry. Why had this happened so soon after you had settled in? Finally you had been comfortable in Castle Dimitrescu, no longer as frightened of the residents, even finding them… charming, in a way. Then the Lady of house called to you for what she claimed to be a simple errand. You had believed her, even when she explained that you would have to leave the relative safety of her home. What a fool you had been.

“What a fool she must be,” you murmur, “to think me safe here. To think I could outlast wolfmen prowling the village outskirts.” Would she even care if she saw you now? Would she be surprised, disappointed? Would she do something to change your fate? There was no reason for her to do so. It didn’t matter how much you had helped her, how much she claimed to appreciate what you did (heavy lifting, repair of clothing, massages). You were as replaceable as any other Maiden there was. And that, that was what made you have a double-take. It came to you in that moment, a thought so painful that you could not deny it was the truth. “She never thought I would survive.”

Bitterness coats your tongue, like blood in your throat, and your brain demands that you destroy your cargo, the very thing that got you sent here in the first place. You almost do it. Feet stopping, arms shrugging the carrying straps off, bloody hands taking hold of it. Tears fall, just two, and hit the package. At that moment your plan changed. This new idea would be far, far more satisfying… as long as you succeeded.

------------------------

Spite was one hell of a drug. Enough of it and you could march your warm corpse right back to the castle, fist banging on the front door with everything you had. The path had been shorter than you thought, thankfully, but it had still taken so much out of you. Now you were leaning against the door, sliding down it, unable to support your own weight. Nothing inside the castle stirred. Were they ignoring you? Was Alcina really going to let you die inches from your “home”? Fuck that, you thought.

“Alcina!” You scream, loud as you can, startling the birds in the distant trees. The word echoes around you and rattles inside your ribs. It’s not enough. “Damn it, I am seconds away from dying, get out here now so I can look you in your fucking eyes!” Something tears a little in your throat, turning the last of your words into a hellish screech, leaving you to gasp and croak in the snow. You go to wipe your tear-filled eyes with your hands, only to remember just how much blood they’re covered in.

Sobs overtake you in just a few moments. You’re blinded by tears, deafened by sorrows, and numb from all the cold. In the aching seconds before you black out, you can only barely make out the silhouette of someone rushing to your side…

------------------------

The first thing you feel when you wake up is mind searing pain. You try to jolt upwards, only to find a pair of strong, gloved hands holding you down. Someone shouts something, but you can’t make it out, and you feel another hand gently squeeze one of your own. Pained gasps escape your throat one after the other, but whatever is hurting you doesn’t stop. It takes a full minute for you to adjust enough to make sense of where you are. At last, you understand what’s being said.

“-it’s okay, shhh, please, we’re trying to help,” says none other than Lady Dimitrescu herself. She’s the one holding your hand, doing her best not to hurt you with her grip, trying desperately to calm you down. One the other side of you, Cassandra is positioned to hold you down. There’s a tight-lipped scowl on her face, and her brow is furrowed, but she’s not looking at your face, but rather eying somewhere in the opposite direction. Following her gaze, you find her older sister is sitting near your injured leg, and is undeniably the source of some of your pain. In one hand she holds a bottle of alcohol (notably not the wine her family produces), the other holding a wet cloth to your wound. No wonder it stings so much.

“Shit, shit, stop,” you growl, barely getting the words out. But all anyone does is look at you. Alcina’s mouth opens to speak, only for you to cut her off. “I’ve got medical training, for the love of Mother Miranda let me help! How long have I been unconscious?” This time Bela stops, glancing at her mother for direction. The grip on your torso grows looser, with Cassandra evidently heeding your words, and you take the chance to sit up, careful not to move your leg. At this point you realize that there’s a needle of sorts in your arm, attached to a tube, which trails up into a blood bag. It’s clearly been improvised with equipment from the “wine-making” part of the castle.

“Fifteen minutes at most,” a new voice chimes, from somewhere behind you. “I got that cloth you wanted, mother, but something tells me I’m not done fetching things.” Ah, Daniela Dimitrescu. Was the whole family helping you?... Why? As much as you wanted answers, there wasn’t (currently) time for questions. Not when one glance at your leg tells you that some of your flesh is rapidly decomposing. The wound was made only an hour ago, and already it was getting deadlier than you could even process.

“I need a sharp, clean knife, a needle with thread, a glass of water, and someone needs to put a metal tool, sterilized, on the stove, right now,” you said, finding it easier to talk now that no one was cleansing your wound. Without hesitation Daniela dispersed into a cloud of insects, heading towards the kitchen, while Cassandra stood up and moved towards the stairs.

“Guess I’ll get the needle,” she said, sounding rather unenthusiastic.

“What are you planning?” Alcina asks, more concerned than you had ever heard her before. Attempting to reassure her, you manage a small smile before explaining.

“Got scratched and slobbered on by a lycan. Whatever they have, it’s infectious. If I want to save my leg, or at least have a chance at surviving, I have to take measures to reduce the likelihood of an infection,” you say. Now Alcina is slowly stroking her thumb across your hand, eyes narrowed with concern. There’s a look on her face that you can’t quite parse, something she’s not saying. For now you ignore it and continue going over your plan. “The best thing would be to amputate. The tourniquet might have helped prevent the saliva from getting further into my body- and I do mean might- but I can’t keep it on forever. Problem is… I don’t want to lose it. God, I’m terrified of that, and with what we have in the castle I… I’d be more likely to die of shock than not. So, well, forget that idea.

“I’m just going to remove the wound. By making a bigger wound. It’s crazy, I know, but this will kill me if we do nothing. It will probably kill me if we do. The technical term is some shit like ‘de-bride-ing’?... No, debridement, I think. Except normally the poor fucker getting cut open is asleep for the procedure.” By the time you’re done, Lady Dimitrescu is looking at you with horror. Yeah, you had a feeling she wouldn’t appreciate the idea. “Look, if this is too much… if it’s not worth saving me, if you’d rather give me a quick death, I understand. If I were-”

“Don’t be foolish, dear. You will not die, not as long as something can be done about it,” Alcina replies, quickly, eager to stop hearing you talk about dying. It’s… strange to hear her sound so confident about saving you, even stranger to realize what she called you. As if reading your thoughts, she shifts in her seat, avoiding your gaze for a moment. Shyness didn’t suit her, and you imagined it was more about her finding the right words. When she speaks, she’s looking right at you again. “I have hesitated to tell you the truth, and now I find the world playing a cruel trick on me, trying to take that which I adore. But I don’t want to aggravate your stress right now. Please, think nothing of what I have said.”

Before you could reply, footsteps reached your ears, and soon enough Daniela returns. In one hand she holds a large pitcher of water. In the other? Several knives, of various sizes, one of which you’re pretty sure you’ve seen Cassandra playing with before. As soon as you see her your face lights up, glad to be able to start the procedure.

“Oh thank fuck- or, I mean, thank you, Lady Daniela,” you stutter, reaching out as she offers you the items. Thankfully Bela had already made room on the table at your side, where she had set the bottle of alcohol down. For a moment you had forgotten that she was there. Had she already known about her mother’s feelings? Based on her lack of reaction, you could only assume that she was well aware. “I’m gonna scream, B-T-dubs. Just, uh, cover your ears?” You offer, already holding your chosen knife (big enough to be effective, small enough to offer precision).

“So… you’re going to do this yourself? Didn’t think you had it in you, red. Try not to cut anything important. Wouldn’t want to have to clean that mess up,” Daniela teases. As soon as she’s finished she has to shift into a swarm, as Bela flat out throws a knife at her. For a moment you freeze, watching as Alcina rises to her full height, staring her eldest daughter down. Behind her, Daniela reforms, clearly using her mother as a shield. “I was just trying to relieve the tension, jeez. It’s like you think she’s already dead.”

“Don’t speak another word!” Alcina snaps, sending a frightening stare towards Daniela. You cough, awkwardly, not knowing what to do. Meanwhile Bela is pinching the bridge of her nose between two fingers, clearly tired of dealing with her sister’s sense of humor. “No one will speak a word until this is finished, unless my dear needs something, understood?” Both the girls nod at that, neither feeling a need to risk any further ire.

“I’m just going to start working now,” you awkwardly chime, taking a deep breath before leaning in towards your injured leg. On closer inspection you can see a strange, dark residue in the wound. They’re specks, scattered along the length of it, and they seem more common the closer you look to the gash’s center. Gross, you think. Half curious, half checking for legitimate reasons, you bring your other hand to the cut and gently spread both sides apart. It hurts like hell, and you have to bite down on your lip to stop yourself from screaming. But sure enough, the residue is practically solid at the deepest point of the wound. “Those lycans really should be on leashes.”

Out of the corner of your eye you can see Daniela exchange looks with Bela, but neither of them disobey their mother (yet). Shaking the thought away, you finally get to the brunt of the task at hand. Your hand moves slowly, reluctant to inflict such damage against its own body. As soon as the tip of the knife touches your skin, you start to doubt your ability to do this. It takes looking at Alcina, seeing the way she watches you with equal parts concern and tenderness, to remind you why you’re doing this. Death just wasn’t something you could accept right now; not after what she had said, what she had implied.

The knife is fantastically sharp. Hardly any pressure is needed before your flesh gives away, cells letting go of their neighbors like it was a casual affair. You start at the left side of your injury, digging down a little, trying to only go as deep as you needed to. Tears formed in your eyes but you quickly blinked them away. As the first of many screams leaves your mouth, you turn and twist the knife, cutting to the right, then up. Like scooping the seeds out of a pumpkin. Fresh blood springs from the wound, starting to fill up the crevice. Quickly you discard the skin you removed by tossing it into the same bowl that Bela had put a bloody towel in earlier.

“Yes,” you shudder through gritted teeth, “this hurts so fucking bad. No, I don’t need someone to take over yet.” At this point neither of the present sisters are looking at you, seeming oddly uncomfortable at the sight of you cut up like this. Hadn’t they done worse to your fellow Maidens?... Whatever, the thought couldn’t last long when you still had work to do.

Next you take a fresh, damp cloth and dab at your injury, ignoring how it throbbed beneath your touch. Then you resumed cutting, forced to press the knife deeper in order to remove the spreading residue. If you had been a scientist, this would have been utterly fascinating to observe. Whatever had been in the lycan’s saliva was slowly eating at your flesh, but not outright dissolving it. No, it simply left the skin where it was, but killed and rapidly broke it down. Yes, it would have been fascinating, if not for the fact that there was a chance you wouldn’t be able to outpace the bacteria.

With this in mind you force yourself to hold in your next scream, hoping to make it easier for you to focus. The knife continued to cut, going lower, setting nerves alight as it did. Your vision starts to blur, and for a few seconds you think you’re going to black out. Someone says something you don’t hear, and then suddenly there’s a hand on top of your own. When your vision clears you see Bela is responsible, her grip keeping you from dropping the knife. She doesn’t let go until you give her a clear nod. Even then, she seems reluctant to let you continue.

Around this time is when Cassandra returns. Her footsteps catch your attention (it’s your understanding that carrying objects is much harder in swarm mode), and you spare her a quick glance before getting back to work. A few moments later she’s placing a set of needles and a long spool of thread next to you. Ironically, they’re the same tools that you’ve used to repair and adjust Alcina’s dresses over the past year. Hopefully they work just as well on flesh, you think. Your next thoughts are canceled out by unbelievable pain. More cries leave your lips, and your hand starts shaking. Panic is settling in fast, your movements getting sharper, leading you to make a brash decision: Time to care less about precision and more about speed.

“Distract me, please,” you gasp between grunts. No one responds at first, and you know they need clarification. Speaking is getting harder by the second, but you do your best. “Brain can’t process many stimulants, same time. Just- fuck- trace skin around wound, touch hair, anything.” Somewhere between your semi-broken sentences and screams, Alcina gets the message. She’s moving closer, now, behind you, one arm wrapping around your waist, the other rubbing gentle circles on your undamaged leg. Across from you Daniela is too busy pacing to help, though you can hardly blame her.

“Should I get the metal thing from the stove?” Cassandra asks, silently hoping that Dani hadn’t assumed someone else was going to handle that part. You’re still in too much pain to talk, so you half nod half grunt in response. Not bothering to say anything, the middle child takes off, swarm moving at what might be a new speed record.

As much as your hands are shaking, you still manage to cut away another strip of flesh, tossing it aside with even less care than before. This time Bela wipes the wound for you, practically reading your mind. The moment her hands are completely out of the way you start cutting again, crying out, throat shredded to pieces from all your screaming. Alcina sounds like she might be close to sobbing, but she doesn’t stop her movements, doing her best to distract you just like you had asked. Even Bela helps, now, tracing spots around your injury whenever she knows she won’t be in your way. The effect is minor, in the end, hardly making a dent in how much pain you’re processing.

If you survive this, though, you’re hugging every daughter as tight as you can and showering them with affection… but only after you finish doing the same for their mother.

“You are so brave,” Alcina murmurs next to your ear. It’s even clearer now how close she is to crying, her voice seconds away from cracking. Hearing her like this almost hurts as bad as the initial lycan attack did. “You are so strong. No other mortal could ever be your match. Do you understand, my dear? You are blessed, divine, and I love you so much.”

In any other setting, her words would leave you melting in her arms, radiating affection so strongly that you might as well have been radioactive. Instead, you are unable to respond, or even look her way. All you can do is press the knife to your skin again, showing your own feelings by destroying yourself for her.

The blade is starting to find more resistance, and you’re having to pause more often, spots appearing in your vision. Going faster only makes things worse, your hand threatening to slip. You’re determined to finish this, no matter what, but your need to control the situation is gradually making things worse. Alcina notices this before you do, and acts before you have a chance to protest.

“Bela, the knife,” she says, then tightens her grip on your waist. Your confusion shifts to panic as your arm is carefully, but forcefully, pulled away from your wound. “Can you finish the job?” It takes you a few moments to realize that Alcina isn’t talking to you. No, she’s speaking to her eldest daughter, who doesn’t hesitate to take the knife away from you. It’s so easy for her, between her strength and your weakness. “Don’t struggle. Let us finish this.”

Protests rise from your throat and die in your mouth. Pain flares harder now that Bela isn’t distracting you. Once more your vision goes dark, but this time there’s no pause, no hesitation. You are suffering, horribly, and the Dimitrescu family refuses to make you hurt longer than necessary. It’ll be over soon, you think, not knowing whether you refer to your pain or your life itself.

Something wet drops onto the back of your neck, then darkness overtakes you…

------------------------

“Damn those lycans, I should string Heisenberg up myself! They’re his responsibility, after all,” Lady Dimitrescu snarls, trying to ignore the tears in her eyes. Now that you’re unconscious, unable to hear what ails her, she feels free to voice her thoughts. “The damn things should never have come close to the path to the village.”

“What if she strayed from the path? Wouldn’t that explain it?” Bela suggests, even as her hands work to remove what seems to be the last piece of dead/infected flesh from your leg. She hates how the words feel in her mouth, hates suggesting that you of all people might have betrayed her mother’s trust. But it makes sense. After all, this whole mess, with you leaving the castle to retrieve a mysterious package, was all a test to see if you would try to run. It hadn’t been her idea, and Bela admitted to herself that she thought it was unnecessary.

“On the way back? Why would she bother getting the package if she intended to run?” Lady Dimitrescu asks, right as Cassandra returns. The middle child is practically juggling the metal spatula she’s carrying, irritated (not harmed) by the heat it produced. One of her brows perks up when she hears the conversation, but she keeps any thoughts she has to herself.

“Just a thought, mother, I didn’t quite believe it myself,” Bela chimes, after a pause. With that said she holds up her hand with pride, clutching between her fingers the last of the decaying flesh. The way the others react, one might have thought that a miracle had been performed. Daniela clapped her hands together, giggling a little, and finally stopped her pacing. “Don’t celebrate too much, now,” Bela reminded her, taking the spatula from Cassandra as she did. “There’s still plenty to do. It’s a good thing she’s not awake for this part.”

A good thing, indeed. She uses her fingers to spread the remaining skin a little, giving a quick examination, then deciding that she had successfully removed all remaining residue. Keeping her fingers where they were, she pressed the side of the spatula to your skin, putting the most pressure at the center of the wound. Three seconds passed, then she lifted her hand. A pause. She pressed it back into place, keeping a close eye on the affected area. This repeated several times, the gaps being necessary to prevent unintentional damage. Once the wound seemed properly closed she set the spatula aside.

“Is that it?... Did we save her?” Daniela asks, opting to finally sit down in a nearby chair. Something about her word choice makes both of her sisters scoff.

“I could sew it closed, as a precaution, but there’s no way I’d do it the way she had intended. It might be best to just give her time to rest, and see what she thinks when she gets back up,” Bela answers. For a moment her words hang in the air, but eventually Alcina gives a little nod and a hum.

“Very well. I shall carry her to my quarters, where she won’t be disturbed. Please, let one of the Maidens know to bring some food up this evening,” Alcina says, gently taking you into her arms as she does…

------------------------

BAD ENDING: It’s been six hours, with no sign of you waking up. Your other wounds had been examined, cleaned, and bandaged. Food had been carefully prepared and brought up to you, though it now remained on the bedside table, untouched. Alcina has gone to call Mother Miranda, intending to speak to her about the growing unrest of the lycans, as Heisenberg hadn’t answered his phone. For the first time since you returned you are alone. It is now, of all times, that you awaken. A gasp sends you into a coughing spree, forcing you into a sitting position. The space around you feels like it's moving, and your vision blurs. Blood spills from your mouth as you finally regain the ability to breathe.

Seconds later your vision clears, but what you see is enough to make you wish you couldn’t. The blood that spilled onto the sheets is a dark red… with even darker spots scattered throughout it. All at once you know what happened: Residue had hidden from you, or gone deeper than your wound, infecting you before you ever stood a chance. Tears threaten to spill from your eyes, but something deeper starts calling to you. Something older. Darker. It drags you to your feet, ignores the pain of your wounds, and sends you out the bedroom door.

Your mind is racing, thoughts never quite clear enough for you to understand. It doesn’t feel like you’re in control of your own movements. Was something else in charge, or were you operating on an infection powered autopilot? Answers weren’t coming, just bloodshed.

“You’re not supposed to be out of bed yet!” A voice calls out to you, making you turn to investigate. On the other end of the hallway is a maiden, one you instantly recognize. You’ve worked with her before, plenty of times, tag-teaming more tasks than you could count. She was like a sister to you. When she sees the blood staining your clothes, she gasps, then moves to support you. “Please, Lady Dimitrescu will be so upset if you-” her words melt into a blood curdling scream. For a moment you don’t understand.

And then you swallow, a chunk of hot meat slipping down your throat, and the scream dies down.

“What?...” You whisper, finally tasting the blood in your mouth, watching as your friend’s body falls to the floor. There’s a chunk of flesh missing from her neck, and the dots connect themselves in your head. You did that. Every part of you wants to scream, wants to cry out and beg someone to come kill you. Instead you fall to your knees, hard, uncaring. Your hands move themselves, grasping at the still warm corpse. Something has made you stronger, or at the very least removed the mental limits that kept you from destroying yourself. Flesh gives under your touch, tearing like paper, and you start crying as it reaches your mouth.

Footsteps approach, thundering fast, and you want to warn whoever it is. When you turn to look, you feel your hands let go of your meal. Your gaze meets that of a stunned Cassandra Dimitrescu, then drifts to the sickle in her hand.

“Kill me,” you growl, voice distorted, practically echoing. “Kill me now!” Not needing to be told a third time, Cassandra moves lightning quick, swarm-jumping forward before manifesting behind you, sickle dragging across your throat in one smooth motion. But it’s not enough. She realizes this, though, and slams her foot into your back, sending you tumbling forward. It’s enough to prevent you from countering, which gives her time to advance again, this time pulling a knife from her boot and driving it into the center of your back. When you scream, it’s not with your own voice, but that of a monster.

“Fucking fuck, what the fuck, red?” Daniella asks as she rounds the corner, eyes immediately landing on your bloodsoaked mouth. She’s quick to take in the scene, drawing a conclusion easily, even if it breaks her heart a little. Your vision fades as she approaches, and you know that it’s finally over. If only you had expired a few seconds earlier… because the last thing you hear is the startled cry of your would-be lover.

“No! No, darling, what happened-” Alcina finishes her sentence, but you do not hear it. You do not hear anything, anymore. You do not know it… but there will be hell to pay for your death.

------------------------

GOOD ENDING: When you awake, you find yourself in the softest sheets you’ve ever touched, a warm and familiar presence next to you. The first thing you see is Alcina’s sleeping face next to your own. She’s on her side, one arm around your waist, the covers pulled up to her hip. Warmth fills your chest as you take in the sight. For a few moments you just… appreciate this. Never before had you imagined that you would get to wake up next to the woman you loved so much. A sigh, one of bliss, leaves your lips. Slowly you move forward, gently placing a kiss to Alcina’s cheek. Seconds later her eyelids flutter open, and she tiredly takes you in.

“You’re… awake,” she murmurs, hardly awake herself. But her fatigue doesn’t last long. As soon as she’s fully processed the situation her eyes go wide. Then she’s pulling you closer, careful not to hurt you, and peppering little kisses over your face. “I’ve been so worried, dear. You scared us so much.” The hurt in her voice leaves you restless, making you curl up against her, desperate to soothe her worries. Moving hurts a little, but not enough to dissuade you from your goal.

“I’m sorry, love,” you say, tears pricking your eyes. “I’m okay, I’m alive, the plan worked out. You don’t have to fret for me anymore. I won’t leave you, I promise.” Slowly but surely, Alcina calms, exchanging kisses for softly running her fingers through your hair. There’s such love in her eyes that you can hardly believe you aren’t dreaming. “You’re amazing, Alcina. I could stay like this all day.”

“Maybe we should,” she offers, chuckling a little. Once again you give her a quick kiss, unable to resist the urge. “I should have never asked you to leave. I should have just trusted you.” The words give you pause, and you tilt your head in confusion. Realizing that you still didn’t know the full story, Alcina frowns. “The package is worthless, just a bundle of straw and a few rocks for weight. It was never what I cared about.”

Tension builds in your chest, and for a few seconds you have no idea how to react. It takes a minute for you to think, to connect the dots, but once you do it’s a tad bit easier to breathe. A scowl twists your lips as you think of what to say.

“If I had known that Heisenberg was forgoing his duties, I never would have sent you outside,” Alcina adds, the silence taking its toll on her.

“You shouldn’t have sent me either way,” you respond, bitterly, thinking of all that you had seen and heard on your journey. “I would have done anything to prove to you how I feel. There are other ways to show devotion- far less dangerous ways, at that.”

“I know, dear. You have every right to be angry… and watching you suffer has taught me all that I need to know,” Alcina says, still playing with your hair, trying to ease the tension. As upset as you about this recent revelation… it’s not enough to change how you feel about her, and you want her to understand that, fully and completely.

So you lean into her touch, let your eyes drift close for a moment, then softly place one of your arms around her as best as you can.

“We’ll need to talk about this more… just not right now. Right now, I need you, Alcina. I need to hold you, and be held by you, and just know that you’re here. That I’m here. That neither of us are going anywhere,” you say, resting your forehead against hers. “I need to feel safe, and your arms are the safest place I can imagine. Stay here with me?”

“It will be the easiest thing I have ever done.”

[jadegrey711]

Snow Covered Dream

Eric Northman x Fem!Reader

A/N: Hello my loves so I got this request for a soft Eric Northan what feels like eons ago, and I’m finally feeling some inspiration for it. It’s been particularly hard for me for this one since when i originally started writing for it I had a good thing going and while I was an my ipad i rotated it and somehow deleted everything I had. So this is attempt number two for this one. I hope you guys like it and if you could show it some love! And to the sweet person who sent this request in I really hope you think it’s worth the wait. 

Prompt: Hey can I send a request in for Eric Northman x reader please? Could you maybe do one where him and the reader have been seeing each other for some time now and then they have sex for the first time and it’s really sweet and the reader lets eric bite her for the first time and they just realise how much they love each other, if not don’t worry about it! Thank you, love your writing!

*NOT MY GIF. ALL CREDIT GOES TO THE OWNER.

If you like my stories you can check out my sideblog @jadegreywriting​​ to see all of them and my masterlist without filtering through my main blog.

Word Count: 3212  Holy fuck this became it’s own novel. I think this is the most I’ve ever written for something like this. Fuck i hope it’s not shit 

This story is for 18+ ONLY. It contains sexual themes that are not suited for younger audiences so if you’re under 18 my blog and this story is not for you. Please make sure to read at your own discretion and remember that you are solely responsible for your content intake. 

Warnings: 18+ people. Oral (f recieving), mentions of blowjobs, Tantric sex (if you squint), vaginal sex 

Song Inspiration: 

Best Part - Daniel Caesar, H.E.R

Morning View - Towkio, SZA

Looking Through your Eyes - LeAnn Rimes

I own all rights to this story and do not give permission for my stories to be published, translated or reposted anywhere else. The only places I have published my stories is here on Tumblr and on my AO3 account (LadyAuthor711)

This isn’t the first time that Eric has stolen you away for some kind of romantic adventure. He’s been around for a thousand years and there’s just so many places he wants to show you; places you’ve never even heard of and spots that feel like no other human has laid a foot there before. 

However, this adventure felt different, like when it was over Eric wasn’t planning on letting you go; like he planned to keep you and you couldn’t find anything bad about that. 

“Eric are you ever going to tell me where we are going?” You smiled, seeing the mischievous smirk on his lips. 

“We are already here, sötma.” he stated and you swore his smile got wider, as you quickly whipped your head back towards the window to see if you could finally see your destination. But only found the same endless snowy expanse out your window. 

“Where?” 

“This is all of my property. It’s not huge but just a bit further up this road there’s a little house I keep for when I want to truly get away from everything.”

You waited for a few more minutes keeping your eyes peeled out the window for any sign of the house and then suddenly just out in the distance you saw a spot of bright red. You felt your excitement grow as you watched the house steadily come into view. That spot of bright red growing until you could finally see the whole house; a bright red one that was nestled right in the middle of the property surrounded by what looked like a small farm house and hidden away by the snow covered pine trees that surrounded it.To put it in a word it looked magical.  

“Do you like it sötma?” Eric asked, turning his head just enough to gauge your reaction. 

“Oh Eric! It’s so beautiful! It’s like a snow covered dream.” You said wistfully and then pulled your focus from the car window to Eric and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. 

Eric hummed his satisfaction. “I’m so glad you like it. This is one of my favorite places and I thought I might share it with one of my favorite people. I can’t wait to show you the rest of the house, I think you’ll really enjoy it.” 

“I’m sure I will.” You beamed at him and took his hand that wasn’t on the steering wheel. “I’m never disappointed with anything you show me Eric.” 

Eric said nothing at your praise, but simply took your hand that was holding his and pressed a few kisses to your knuckles, before taking your wrist and kissing the palm of your hand; sending a flush of warmth through you despite the endless cold outside the car. 

When Eric pulled up in front of the house, you immediately got out of the car and stepped out onto the fresh snow just to marvel at the bright red house. The way the snow was settled perfectly on the tops of the roof and on the pine trees that surrounded the house it looked like the perfect christmas card. 

“How come you never told me you lived in a Hallmark movie?” You asked turning back to face Eric who had both your bag and his slung under each arm. 

“I don’t. It’s just Sweden. Everything looks like a Hallmark movie here in winter.” he chuckled as the both of you walked towards the large wooden front door. Eric easily maneuvered the bags in his hands to pull out the small set of keys and quickly unlocked the front door, letting you both into the house and out of the cold of the outside. However, there wasn’t much relief from the cold inside the house either. 

You started to shiver as you made your way to the center of the cold house, clutching your jacket tighter to your body. 

Eric looked over and saw you shivering and immediately took off his jacket and put it on top of your shoulders. “I’ll get a fire going in a second sötma.For right now I want you to sit here.” He said as he pulled your shivering body into a main sitting room where a very large fireplace sat on the far wall. 

Eric sat you down on the plush sofa that laid in front of the fireplace and you clutched his jacket tighter to your body as you watched Eric get the fire going with his quick and efficient hands. 

**

Hours later after you and Eric unpacked your things and both of you had your dinner. You found yourself sitting in Eric’s lap on a fur rug in front of that luxurious fire. The feeling of the fire warming your skin and the feel of Eric underneath you as he stroked her hair lovingly, warmed more than just your skin; you felt your heart and soul warm from the contentment that you felt in this moment.

As content as you were though in this moment you knew that you wanted more. You wanted more from Eric than just his soft kisses and loving caresses, you weren’t a fool you knew the reputation that surrounded Eric when you started seeing him. 

Ruthless killer and slayer of hearts but that wasn’t the side he presented you with everyday nor was it something he tried hiding from you. It wasn’t something that you felt like he needed to hide anyway. Everyone has shit in their past and in Eric’s case he’s got a whole mountain range of shit he’s got to deal with from his past but he’s grown and you’ve seen that growth. Hell. You being here wrapped safely in his arms in some remote house in god knows where Sweden should be proof enough of that growth; of the trust you place in him. So much so that you feel confident enough to pull from his soft touches and look at him in those blazing glacier eyes. 

You let out a small breath, and reached out your hand, cupping his face before you pulled him slowly in for a soft lingering kiss. Eric hummed his approval against your lips and then you took him by surprise as you tilted your head slightly and deepened the kiss, your tongue playfully dipping in his mouth and tangling with his.

You smiled against Eric’s lips as you heard him let out a low growl, his strong hands that were at his side, coming up to grab your hips bringing you closer to his body. You let out a low gasp as Eric pressed you closer to his body and you felt just how hard he was for you already. 

You pulled your sweet lips away from Eric’s smirking as you heard him softly whisper “No.” when you pulled away. But you or your lips didn’t go far. You pulled away just enough that you were still most definitely in kissing range. 

Eric watched you as you placed your small hands on his strong chest, letting you control every action and determining just how far this night was going to go. He loved it when you were brave for him, with him, taking control and taking what you want from him. He’s waited for this moment for so long but one word from you and he would go jump in the endless snow outside and quickly cure himself of his raging hard on.

Your hands continued their leisurely journey down Eric’s chest until you got to the hem of his shirt. You looked back up at Eric’s face, as if you were asking permission. He nodded and your fingers brushed the skin underneath his shirt and gasped at how cold he was. But you didn’t let that deter you one bit as you grabbed the hem of the shirt and lifted it up and over his head; with Eric’s help of course. And then your hands were all over his bare chest starting back up at his strong shoulders, then trailing down his chest your fingers stop over where his heart is; and feeling a certain sadness that you wouldn’t feel it’s steady beat under your touch. 

Eric seemed to sense what you were feeling and grabbed your chin making you look up at him. “Your heart is big enough that it beats for the both of us, sötma.” he whispered lovingly before placing a kiss on your lips and letting your chin go so you can continue with your exploration. 

You leaned down and placed a kiss to that spot on his chest, biting your lip when you heard Eric’s little gasp. Your hands went down feeling his hard abs and then those delicious hip “v’s” that you so desperately needed to run your tongue over but maybe later tonight. You looked back up at Eric’s face and grabbed one of his massive hands; Eric watched intently as you flipped his hand over and started to lovingly trace the lines there. 

Eric couldn’t help himself any longer the same hand that you so lovingly traced he used to cup your cheek, and traced your lips with his thumb. 

“Do you know how beautiful you are to me?” He asked as he grabbed the hem of your shirt and pulled it over your head leaving your chest bare to him. 

You felt your cheeks flush. “No. I don’t think you’ve ever told me before. Why don’t you count the ways.” You giggled and let out a little squeal as Eric flipped the both of you over so your back was to the soft fur rug and he was sprawled out on top of you. 

“You’re such a little shit you know that?” He smirked as he leaned down and kissed a spot at your chest, giving it a little suck. Making whatever little smart comment you were about to say dissolve from your mind as you felt Eric ladden your body with open mouth kisses. First to your neck and then your collarbones and then to the spot right where your heart was. 

“Eric.” his name falling from your mouth in a breathy whisper. 

His hair tickled your face as he kissed lower and you let out a gasp as his tongue swirled around your nipple, making your back arch from the surprise of it. 

“So sensitive.” he chided and you felt a gush of warmth spread between your thighs at his words. Before you watched him bring that nipple into his mouth and give it a light suck before he went to do the same to the other. “I wonder where else you're sensitive.” He purred as you felt his lips brush reverently against the bottom of your breasts before continuing his journey to where you were most sensitive. 

You tangled your hands in his hair as he reached your pants and he held your gaze as he undid each of the buttons, making you smile as he lifted your hips up and pulled your pants completely off, leaving you completely bare to him. 

“Oh, Y/N.” He purred as he admired your naked body sprawled out in front of him on his fur rug looking like a norse goddess. “Every part of you is a gift.” He said as he grabbed one of your legs and placed soft kisses there before doing the same to the other. He loved how sprawled out you were for him like a feast all for him. 

“Eric.” You moaned out his name again as you watched him settle himself between your legs, his strong shoulders keeping you spreaded out for him as you watched as he took his index finger and ran it down your slit making you gasp. You watched eagerly as he placed that finger in his mouth and sucked on it. 

“Just as sweet as I knew you’d be, baby.” He smirked and then you felt his tongue flick up your folds before swirling around your clit making your hips buck up into his face. 

You watched as Eric swiveled his head side to side and elicited more moans from you each one getting louder and louder as he sucked your clit and he fucked you with his tongue. Your fingers alternated between burying themselves in Eric’s soft hair to gripping the fur rug behind you as you watched Eric devour you. 

As you felt your orgasm climb you started to writhe under Eric but he easily placed his strong arm over you stomach keeping you under his delicious torture. “Eric, baby I’m gonna come.” You moaned, feeling like you were going to fall over the edge any second. 

“Go ahead baby, come for me. Let me see how pretty you look when you fall apart.” He purred before he added his fingers and crooked them inside you and you fell apart. Eric ate you out through your orgasm letting you ride that wave of pleasure until you finally went limp under him. 

You watched with shaky breaths as Eric pulled away from you giving your clit a kiss before smiling up at you. “I don’t know how I’ll ever get enough of this sweet pussy, sötma.” he said before climbing up and kissing you deeply letting you taste yourself. 

“Are you ready for me, sötma?” He asked and then you felt his strong fingers rub against your soaked folds before he entered you feeling how wet you were for him. “Oh yeah, I think you’re ready for me.” He smiled, kissing you again before standing up and unbuttoning his pants before quickly discarding them.  

He looked like a god from this angle, all strong and hard muscles as he loomed over you, his hard cock springing to his stomach. You’d never been particularly fond of blowjobs mainly because of how your past lovers would grab your head and try to force you down more. But you didn’t feel that Eric you wanted to be at his knees lavishing him with pleasure while he stroked your head lovingly gifting you with lavish praises about how good you were for him.

Maybe another night. You thought to yourself. 

Eric knelt back down till he was sprawled back over you and proceeded to ladden you with soft open mouth kisses, his hands massaging your breasts until you could feel the need between your legs grow until it was too much; you needed Eric now. 

“Eric, please.” You moaned breathily. 

“Are you sure you want me now? We have all night, baby.” He said, kissing your neck again. “Maybe you let me play with that pussy for another hour and then I’ll fuck you.” 

You felt you center throb at the thought at what kind of pleasure could pull from you in an hour; not still not fuck you. 

“No. I want you Eric. I need you inside me now. Please.” You whispered in his ear earning a low growl from him. 

“Well, there’s no way I can deny such a pretty girl when she’s begging for me.”  He hummed and you felt his hard length press up against your folds. “This what you want from me?” He asked, knowing full well, that’s exactly what you wanted. 

“Are you going to keep talking or are you going to fuck me?” you gasped feeling Eric’s hard length press deeper into you, letting you get used to him as he stretched you out for him. 

“Oh baby you’ve got such a mouth on you. I can’t wait to see it wrapped around my cock. I just know you’d look so pretty on your knees for me.” He purred as he slid home, making you moan in his ear as he pressed close to your body,to your warmth. 

Eric kept his pace slow letting you get used to his invasion but also to leave you breathless and wanting under him. He knows what you want; that you want him to pound into you and he will have no worry about that. He can’t wait to hear the lewd sounds of your wet pussy as he drives into you over and over until you scream his name. But right now he wants to draw this out, really feel each part of you and then he’ll pound into your aching pussy. 

“Eric, please.” you breathed out, your nails gripping his back as he kept his pace slow and sensual, making you writhe beneath him. 

“Please what? Sötma.” 

“Harder.” You begged. 

Eric chuckled against your skin. “I just can’t deny you anything can I?” He asked, looking at your face. 

“Please Eric.” 

“Alright, baby.” He said and before you knew it, Eric pulled out of you and brought his hands under your back and brought you up to his until you were straddling him and just as quickly as he pulled out of you, did he plunge himself back into your wet folds; setting a brutal pace as he fucked up into you. 

You let out a scream of pleasure as your hands wrapped around Eric and held him close as he fucked you. 

“Is this what you want, baby?” 

“Yes.” You whimpered, kissing Eric’s neck and sucked at the spot where his shoulder and neck meet earning a low groan from him. 

“Oh Eric!” You moaned, your nails gripping onto his back. “I-I I’m going to come.” 

“Come for me sötma. Grip me with that tight little pussy of yours.” He growled as he drove into you harder and you felt yourself go supernova as your orgasm racked your body. Eric held you tight, slowing his pace down just enough to let you ride through your orgasm. 

After a few seconds though you felt Eric’s pace quicken again and to your surprise his quickening pace was building you up to another orgasm. 

“Eric. I don’t think I can survive another one.” You moaned, your face buried in the crook of his neck. Eric tangled his fingers in your hair and pulled enough to bring your face to his. 

“You can and you will baby. I want to feel you squeeze my cock again, with that beautiful pussy.” He growled and kissed you, his hand leaving your hair to snake between your bodies and rub small circles on your oversensitive clit and you gasped into his kiss as you felt your orgasm crash over you as Eric held you close to him, as he chased his own end. 

“Fuck! I love you so much, Y/N.” He screamed as his own orgasm crashed over him, holding you closer to his body as he fell back down onto the soft fur rug underneath him. 

As you laid on top of Eric trying to calm your breathing and find your equilibrium again. Eric’s fingers found your hair again and stroked it lovingly. 

“I love you too ya know?” You smiled and kissed his chest. “And not just for the sex. Although I could definitely get used to that.” You laughed.

“You are trouble.” He said, scrunching his nose at you before bringing your lips to his in another searing kiss. 

[from-a-reckless-writer]

The first tell was the body next to her. The second was the warmth. Her bed was never warm these days. The first two things had already clued her in that there was something off. Off was an understatement. She’s certain she passed out on her office floor clutching a bottle of alcohol and Jess was going to kill her in the morning. So, how the fuck-

The longer she stays there, eyes closed, feeling the breathing of a stranger, the more she’s convinced she’s suffered from amnesia. 

Beyond scared she opens her eyes, hoping, praying that she didn’t bring home some idiot from a cheap lesbian bar. Her eyes land on blonde hair and an all too familiar set of defined shoulders and Lena lets out a gasp of surprise. She sobers up, jerks upright. Jolting the pair of arms wrapped around her waist and making her companion wake abruptly. 

“Lena- Wha- Why’re you awake?”

“Kara-” That was all she was capable of as of the moment, because Kara was sitting up and flicking on the bedside lamp, letting Lena glimpse the small clock on the nightstand that read 4: 00 a.m. 

Kara’s voice was all raspy and sleep-laden and she was looking at Lena with concern. She was looking at Lena like they’ve done this all the time. And they did. 

Once. 

She remembers jerking awake screaming from nightmares and Kara holding her; remembers waking up to Kara’s screams and holding her. 

But this-

This wasn’t right. 

“Did you have a nightmare?” She asks, crinkle forming. And Lena just stares and stares and-

“Kara, this isn’t real.”

“What? Oh, baby, come here. That dream must’ve really done a number on you, huh?” Kara coos and she gathers Lena in her arms. Lena can do nothing but melt and follow Kara’s movements, her mind is still reeling. 

Trying to decipher the events that had led here. This wasn’t real. This-

A tremble shakes the bed. Lena’s heart rate ticks up, Kara seems to have heard because she’s tightening her embrace and more words come out of her lips, but Lena doesn’t hear a word of it.

“I’m here, you’re safe. I’m here.” 

Lena finally finds her voice and she slowly tries to extricate herself from Kara. She can feel her hesitating to let her go. 

“This isn’t real,” She repeats and Kara is ready to protest, “Please, Kara. Please listen to me?”

She nods. Kara was never one to deny Lena anything, anyway. Lena sighs a breath of relief. 

“Thank you. Uh- I think this isn’t real, Kara. I think I’m inside a Black Mercy induced dream.”

And as if it heard a cue, the bed and the rest of the room vibrates as if ashamed of being called-out so easily. 

“No, no, no. You aren’t. You’re real. I’m real, You-” Kara is scrambling for words, “Look- Here, feel this?” Kara frantically grabs her hand and presses it to her own chest, “Can you feel it? This is real. Don’t say it isn-”

Lena feels like sobbing, because it does feel real. The strong beats underneath her palm thundering through her very soul. It feels so so so fucking real. She’s never wanted something to be real as bad as this. She wants to believe, because Kara is looking at her with those baby blue eyes and she wants to say that ‘Yes, I believe it real. We’re real.’

She can’t.

“Kara, the bed is trembling. Can you feel it? This isn't real. You’re in my head.”

It was brutal. She watches Kara’s face fall. She retracts her hand back. 

“How are you so sure that this isn’t real?”

The question was asked with so much fear. 

“Because,” she starts shaky but certain, “I hurt you, Kara. And that is the one thing that I can never forget.”

It was true. She can never forget the way Kara crumpled to her feet. Can’t forget the way the Girl of Steel broke by Lena’s hands. Can’t forget the tear-stricken face. 

Can’t forget the pleas. 

“Don’t do this, Lena. Please, come on. Please, stay. Don’t leave. Not you, please I can’t-”

“Oh.”

The silence was deafening. She can’t look at Kara as she processes everything. So she takes the time to survey the room. And God, every inch of the room screams how much they’ve stitched their lives with the other. 

There were books haphazardly stacked in one corner, a painting easel in the other, Kara’s cape shining in the dim light of the lamp, Lena’s old MIT sweatshirt at the foot of the bed. 

A wedding portrait. They were married here. Fuck. 

Lena chances a glance at her left hand and not only does she find a ring but also a matching gold bracelet. A Kryptonian mating band. Now, she notices that Kara’s ring was worn on her neck next to her Mother’s necklace Lena supposes she wears it underneath the Super suit and a matching bracelet sitting on her left wrist. 

“I’m sorry,” Lena says ‘for everything.’ she wants to add but she remembers this isn’t her Kara. She doesn’t have a Kara. She doesn’t have any part of Kara. Not anymore.

“What are you sorry for? If anyone could figure out they were inside a parasite induced dream, it would be you.  You’re a genius but you’re dumb for apologizing. You should reject the fantasy now, Lena. You’ll die.”

Damn it, even here. 

Even here Lena is still hurting her and Kara still wants to save her. 

The tears finally fall. The sobs come next. 

“Oh, Lena. Come here. It’s okay. I’m here,”

“I- I know, I’ll die but God, Kara, I want to stay here. I- You’re my everything, you know?”

“I know, Lena. I’ve always known. You don’t have to die because I’ll always know. You need to get out of here now,” She whispers against Lena’s temple and Lena takes the time to breathe her in. God, even the scent smells real. 

“Y-you’re right. I should go, but-” Lena doesn’t know how to ask for what she wants. That was what her therapist had said the first time she booked an appointment.

“But what?”

“Tell me about our life here first?” At that Kara pulls away a bit to look into her eyes; gauging if this is really what Lena wants. 

It is, it’s what she wants but more than that it’s what she needs. The reassurance that somewhere out there, there was a world in which they made each other happy. That in a universe out there--whether real or not--the both of them had a taste of a happy ending.

“Okay, okay yeah. But first, promise me you’ll get out of here as fast as you can, once we’re done?” 

She was never one to deny Lena Luthor anything, remember? She was more than happy to recount the entirety of their love story to her.

“Thank you.” And Lena can’t help but press a soft kiss to Kara’s cheek. 

“Where do you want to start?”

“Do we have a dog?”

“Krypto,” Kara says with a shy smile as if she knows that Lena would laugh at the goofy sentimental name choice, “And a cat, Streaky Jr., you don’t allow pets in the bedroom so,”

“I’m impressed we have the time for pets,” Lena whispers as she shifts closer to Kara in the bed. Heart now beating in a steady calm rhythm, gone was the panic earlier, now replaced by a sense of security, no matter how false it is. 

“Well, you decided to distribute most of the workload to Jess--who you promoted to board member by the way, and to Sam. And since, Wednesday is my first day as Editor-in-Chief, my schedule’s not as busy as it was.”

It was nice to hear that. The way they have obviously chosen to grow into themselves together. She was glad that in her perfect world she hadn’t forgotten about Jess and Sam.

“Oh, and also you spend most of your days in our home lab with Jack anyway. So, the pets get plenty of love.”

“Jacky’s alive here?”

“Yeah, you reversed the nanotech matrix. You saved him.”

And the crying fest begins anew. 

“I miss him, so much.”

“I’m sorry.”

Lena doesn’t have to explain her reaction, Kara knows how to read her anyway.

At the reminder of Jack, Lena finds the courage to ask a question she’s never thought she would want to ask.

“What about Lex and Lillian?”

“Well, your brother’s probably drunk in an L-Corp gala somewhere and Lillian’s probably plotting about how she’s going to insult my next article-”

So, she still has her brother and it seems like Lillian’s not much of a xenophobe as she is in reality but she senses that she still is a bad mother with the way Kara talks.

“When did we get married?”

“Two years after we first met. We had two, actually.”

“I’m guessing I insisted on a Kryptonian wedding and you insisted on a human one?”

She knows that one, because she’s been thinking about it. Well, at least she was before everything went to shit. She wanted to give Kara a Kryptonian ceremony. She had wanted to show her that Lena would be honored to share everything Kara’s world had to offer.

“Are we-” she hesitated, “Are we happy, Kara?”

She wasted no time in answering, “The happiest. You make me the happiest soul alive in this universe and in any universe.”

Fresh tears fall down the side of her face and Kara wipes them away before speaking, “Can I ask you a question?”

“Well, I guess it’s only fair.” Lena sniffles and prepares her mind for what she knows will be an emotionally-charged exchange not that this has been an easy conversation thus far.

“Out there, are you happy?”

Lena’s air is stolen from her. Well, she doesn’t know how to answer that one. 

“Sometimes,” she whispers. She’s not happy most of the time but sometimes she is.

Sometimes, Ruby calls her to tell her about a science project or sometimes Nia sends her meme even though she hasn’t been to Game Nights for almost a year now, sometimes Brainy takes her out for a drink and she feels like she’s got a little brother to call her own. 

So yeah, sometimes. Because the thought of perpetual happiness without Kara in her life is impossible. 

“Only sometimes?” Kara asks, brow furrowing.

“Yeah, only sometimes. Not like it matters, anyway.”

“Well, of course it matters! Your happiness matters!” Kara exclaims, old habits die hard what can she say?

But then Kara takes a turn from defensive to curious again, “Am I happy? Out there? I mean?” 

“I- I have no idea.”

Lena waits for the answer to sink in to Kara. 

“What? What do you mean you have no idea?”

“Remember when I said I hurt you?” 

Kara gives her a nod.

“Well, I haven’t seen you for a long time. I’ve been avoiding you. Normally people tend to not seek out their exes, you know.” 

She’s trying to keep it lighthearted. She’s trying not to let this Kara see how much she craves her presence, how much she wishes she could see Kara again. Don’t get her wrong, Supergirl is plastered every minute on the news, but- 

That’s not who she wants to see. 

“She’s miserable,” Kara answers point-blank leaving no room for argument, “If you’ve been avoiding me, I’d be miserable.”

That has Lena speechless. 

Because miserable would be an understatement of how things had been ever since they ended things. 

Ever since Lena ended things. 

“I don’t like not being with you, you know?” Kara states as if Lena doesn’t feel the same.

“I- I don’t like that either.”

“I know.”

She has to go. Lena knows she has to go but Kara is looking at her so sincerely and she can feel the love and she knows this is nothing but an intricate trap formed by an alien parasite slowly killing her. She has to go but-

“Lena!” 

The both of them are startled and four eyes immediately land to-

Kara?! No, not Kara. Supergirl.

“Supergirl,” She says; surprise coloring her voice. She didn’t know Supergirl would go in and save her. Hell, she didn’t even know how she found her. But then again, she’s tried solving the puzzle that is Kara Zor-El but had never been able to piece it together. 

Supergirl takes a look at her doppelganger in bed with Lena; a scene so familiar to her. A scene she’s replayed again and again in her head. A scene that was once their reality then a memory and now an illusion. She takes a step closer.

“Lena, we have to go, please. Please believe me, this isnt-” 

“-real,” Lena finishes for her and Supegirl looks stunned, “I know, Supergirl. I know how to reject my own fantasy. I’ve had plenty of practice, after all.”

She aims for sarcasm, because fucking fucking hell, how the fuck does anybody expect her to function if there were two Kara’s in front of her?

That was asking for too much. 

Beside her, Kara had gone silent. It seems like she knows what comes next. She knows what Supergirl intends to do. They’re the same person after all. 

“It’s okay,” Lena hears Kara say and she breaks away from the hero’s gaze to find Kara looking at her with those eyes again.

“It’s okay, Lena,” She repeats, “It’s okay, Supergirl’s here. You’re gonna be safe. Stay safe for me, yeah?”

“Lena we have to go. Now,” Supergirl commands from the other side of the room. 

“Okay, yeah,” She whispers then she turns to Supergirl, “Just give me a chance to say goodbye, please?”

Supergirl stares at her for a moment then at Kara then she gives them both a nod and turns back to give them privacy.

“Last question?”

“Hit me.”

“What’s your surname?”

“Luthor.”

Fuck. She shouldn’t feel this surprised but damn, hearing Kara confirm it? Lena doesn’t know how to feel about that. She doesn’t know how to feel about all of this. 

“Just like you promised.”

“Just like I promised.” 

The words are echoed back to her and Lena hates the way she’s noticed how stiff Supergirl’s posture had become in her periphery. Ignores the fact that Supergirl has superhearing. 

“Thank you for indulging me, Kara.”

“Always.”

Goodbye, darling.”

And then everything fades to black.

author’s note: hiya lovely people send me an ask if i should write a follow-up for this.

[mercy-burning]

Fake Fiancée - Part 3

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: Reader and Spencer write letters back and forth, both of them slowly starting to fall in deeper. Category: Smut (18+) Content Warnings: Strong language, sexual themes, masturbation (male and female), sexting, face sitting Word Count: 6.3k

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4

MASTERLIST

NOTE: Hello!! Sorry this has been so long in the making, but for a while my inspiration for this story absolutely disappeared, and then I tried to think of how to bridge the previous chapters to the final one with absolutely no luck. And then I re-read Part 2 and got stuck on the letter, thus this chapter was born! I didn’t want to drag this miniseries out any longer than 4 parts, and the letter format combined with other inner monologuing and description really allowed me to do that in an interesting way that hopefully doesn’t feel rushed! 

It was so much fun and very refreshing to write. I hope you like how it turned out!

Thank you all for being so patient while I get my shit together 😅 Love you guys! Enjoy 🥰

***

We've been sending letters back and forth for about a month now.

If I'm being honest, it took me about two weeks to decide whether or not I actually wanted to send one back, but could you blame me?

Here was this guy I couldn't stop thinking about after a one-night stand, only for him to catch me—months later at the same exact bar we'd met in—flirting with his friend. And then after our sexual encounter that night, all the things we said, the connection I thought we had, all of it...

He left it all behind the next morning, only to send me a letter in the mail.

I was pissed.

Sure, it was a nice letter, but the fact that he'd reduced what we had down to a piece of paper and scribbled ink had made me angrier than I cared to admit.

In retrospect, I may have overreacted.

Over time I started re-reading his words, and the more I thought about it all, the more I started to regret my anger. And more than anything, I just wanted to see him again. I couldn't stay mad at him, not when all I could picture was his pouty face and nervous hands. His sunbeam of a smile peeked through the clouds of my anger here and there, and the longer it settled, the more it bathed me in a warm light that should have made me happy. But all it did was make me long for him.

Once I'd actually started writing that first letter back, I wondered why I hadn't jumped on the opportunity in the first place. I mean, after all the cliché shit we'd experienced in our short relationship thus far, adding love letters to the mix was just as perfect as you could get, right?

Spencer,

I'm sorry it's taken me this long to finally write you back. Truthfully I wasn't sure I wanted to write you at all, but your letter kept drawing me back in. I couldn't stop re-reading it, imagining you sitting down somewhere and contemplating every word as you wrote them down. I wondered if you'd thrown out hundreds of pieces of paper after messing up when you could have just as well typed out a letter without wasting them.

And then by that point, all I could think about was just you.

I always pictured what your living room looks like, or your kitchen table, or your office, or wherever you sit down to write. I wondered if you looked like one of those hopeless writers in the movies that have a scruffy face, coffee stains on their white tee shirts, and messy hair that hasn't been washed in days due to lack of inspiration.

But in the end, the image that won out over all the others was just you as I remember.

I'm not going to lie, that image most of the time was your body above mine while I held my hand to your throat, but for the sake of romance I guess I should probably tell you what it was every other time— the outfit you were wearing the first time we met.

When I think of you, I think of your hand nervously clutching that beer bottle for dear life and the other one occasionally pushing your glasses up your nose. I think of your eyes every time they'd look away from me, probably to keep yourself from staring too long.

But the thing that always gets me the most is your smile— even when it comes in little flashes, after you've said something you probably thought was lame. You covered it up with that perfect smile.

I've dreamt of that smile nearly every night since I met you, and I wouldn't be opposed to seeing it in person again.

I'd love to meet you for dinner some time.

But since you did manage to "more or less abandon me twice now", I think it's only fair that you make it up to me first.

Make the next letter a good one, and we'll see what happens.

Yours, Y/N

P.S. I hope my handwriting is as pretty as you hoped. I'd hate to disappoint.

***

Y/N,

I'm incredibly grateful that you've given me a chance to redeem myself. Every night since I last saw you has also been spent wondering what your house looks like on the inside... What you looked like reading my letter (perhaps at your kitchen table?)

And this might sound silly, but I've also wondered what your bedroom looks like. You may be laughing at me, because I've been in your bedroom, but in my defense I was a bit preoccupied to really take notice of my surroundings— I was simply surrounded by you.

But since I've been to your home, I figured it was only fair that I invite you to mine, possibly for dinner. I don't know how to cook much— in fact I'm pretty awful at making anything that's not a can of Spaghetti-Os... But one of my co-workers is an excellent chef, and with a recipe from him and some practice under my belt, I'm sure I can pull it off.

But by "some" practice, I mean probably weeks or months of practice. So hopefully that gives you ample time to mull it over.

Perhaps in the meantime we can get to know each other through our letters. And who's to say, it might spare us the awkward "getting to know each other" stage of a first date. Though, pretty much every stage of every date is awkward for me, so it might not help at all.

Regardless, I'm very much looking forward to hearing from you again.

I do get called away for work quite often, however. So I apologize in advance if I can't get back to you as soon as I'd like.

But in any instance, you're still welcome to text message or call me. I know it isn't as romantic or personal as handwritten letters, but it's certainly practical.

Yours, Spencer.

P.S. Your handwriting is just as beautiful as I'd imagined it would be. And you could never disappoint me.

That being said, if you somehow decide that this letter wasn't up to your standards and reject my offer, I may just find myself in the deepest despair imaginable.

***

I was definitely way too in my head about this.

It was just a text. Sure, it was a risky text to send, but I had no doubt in my mind that it would be fine in the end.

So why was my stomach churning just thinking about sending it?

Some might have chalked it up to my fat ol' crush on Spencer, but I knew it ran deeper. It had to do at least a little with my history with Patrick... The man stood me up and sent divorce papers to my place of work rather than to my face... And as much as I liked to think I was completely over it, we'd been together for years, and it really did a number on me.

I didn't want to ruin this new thing with Spencer so badly that I was overthinking everything.

So even though I could see his face opening the text, my heart doing jumps at the mere thought of it, a bigger part of me worried that it would be a step too far in the wrong direction. I didn't want him to think I was only in this for... sexual reasons. Which, don't get me wrong, have been pretty damn great so far, but I really did want to get to know him and see where this went.

In the end I decided to hold off. I settled for something a little lighter.

Spencer,

Don't feel too bad about your cooking skills. I've been through my fair share of burnt frozen pizzas to know how you're feeling. So the fact that you've given yourself the opportunity to practice and learn a recipe just for me is extremely romantic, and I appreciate the thought.

I won't stop you from following through, though I'm telling you now that no amount of slaving away in the kitchen will make me change my mind about you. We could probably eat stale crackers on the floor and I'd still find you utterly fascinating.

Maybe that's a bit too extreme, but I hope you get my point.

Anyway, I'd love to come over for dinner some time. Whenever you think you're ready to show me those improved cooking skills, you just let me know and I'll happily make my way over.

In the meantime, I'm thinking of sending more with my letters. I don't want to give away too much, but I will say that I'm very crafty. And don't feel like you need to send anything in return, though I'll let you know if I ever change my mind.

Yours,

Y/N

***

In the bottom right corner of the letter, right next to her signature, was a red lipstick stain in the shape of... well, her lips. It was common sense to know that they were hers and no one else's, not just a stamp or a drawing, and rather her actual lip stain... But even without it, I would have been able to tell by their shape.

Was that pathetic?

I could hear her, picture her in front of me, hovering above me with red-painted lips in the shape of a smirk, visibly cooing as she called me names... I could feel the ghost of her fingertips trailing up my throat and tilting my chin up to look at her as she rocked her hips teasingly into mine...

The whine I let out truly was pathetic.

You pathetic, needy little thing, I could hear her say...

My hands clutched the paper so tightly I thought I'd tear it, but it didn't matter when all I could see while staring at it was her luscious, red lips... Her voice was right there in my ear, like she was really beside me, watching me...

Oh, God, what would she do if she saw me right now? Staring at her lipstick stained paper and subconsciously grinding down into my chair...

You pathetic, needy little thing...

My hips jolted with a small, broken shout of her name, and in no time the front of my pants were flooded with warmth. I felt her eyes burning into me from the void, sparking to life with amusement as her voice crept into the deep corners of my brain and whispered praises to me.

Ohh, what a good little whore... Getting off to the thought of me... That's it, sweet boy... Come for me...

By now my eyes had squeezed shut and the letter was crumpled in my hand, the other reaching down to add much-appreciated burning friction to my crotch as I rode out my orgasm. My whole body tensed and shuddered at every sensation, from Y/N's image behind my eyes to the sweet warmth that pooled in my underwear and soaked through onto my hand.

Holy mother of—

The next time I saw her, I was screwed. I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face. I'd surely go red the second I laid eyes on her, and she'd know right away what I was thinking and feeling.

Simply put, it scared and excited me at the same time.

She'd utterly and thoroughly wrecked me, and if she didn't already know it, she certainly would soon.

Y/N,

I'm not sure what you intend to send in addition to your letters, but if it's anything near the sentiment of your lip stain, then you might have to refrain in favor of my poor, fragile heart.

See, it aches for you. It's bad enough I think of you always, but the moment I saw the shape of your lips on that letter, my heart almost shot straight out of my chest. Maybe it was the familiar shape of your lips or the implications of its place next to your name, signed after the word 'yours', that sent me into a tailspin, but whatever the case...

I'm pretty sure I've completely fallen under your spell.

I suppose I should also tell you that my heart wasn't the only part of my body that came to life at your added signature. I assure you, it took no time at all for me to come undone at the thought of your lips pressing gently against the paper, imagining that they were instead pressing to my skin... I didn't even have to touch myself, really. It just happened. Because of you and you alone.

I hope that wasn't too forward, but I felt it necessary that you know just how much of an effect you have on me.

If I could see you again in a millisecond, it wouldn't be soon enough.

That being said, I am determined to spend as much time as possible to perfect this dish for our dinner. Because you deserve nothing but the best, even if you insist that you could settle for less.

It's the least I can do.

Yours, Spencer.

And a week and a half later, when I didn't get a letter back on time, I was sure I'd messed up for good.

My mind was racing a mile a minute, yelling at myself for even thinking for a second of being that detailed in a letter without any consent. Sure, she'd taken it a step up by signing off her letter with a kiss, but I'd been absolutely idiotic in telling her that I got off to it.

I was honestly well and truly prepared to show up at her house with a big bouquet of flowers and an apology so wordy and probably too long for anyone's liking, in hopes that she'd forgive me for making this huge mistake.

Thankfully, though, it wasn't needed.

My phone chimed as I was pacing, my lip near bloody with how hard I'd been chewing at it, and I saw an unknown number attached to a text message and photo attachment.

The photo wouldn't load (I would have to plug it into my laptop and transfer the image there to see it— a fact which always irked Penelope to the core), but with the sentences I saw above the file, I almost knew exactly what I'd find when I had the means to see it.

There. Now we're even... Who says text messages can't be romantic and personal? XXX, Y/N

I felt like Bambi as I scrambled to my laptop three rooms over, stumbling over weak legs with my phone clutched tightly in my hand. My heart raced faster than it ever had as I started everything up and retrieved the right cord for my phone. With a few shakes and stumbles here and there, I briefly entertained the idea of upgrading my phone.

I probably would have left the apartment to do it immediately after seeing her photo attachment, but the moment it loaded up on my screen, my brain and body lost all ability to function properly.

A familiar burn coursed through the lower half of my body and tightened my chest at the sight of her, open and exposed and... wet.

My laptop screen was completely taken over by the image of Y/N's pussy, visibly glistening and aroused. A manicured hand—her hand— was in frame as well, middle finger resting snugly between the supple skin of her wet lips.

The fact that I only tasted her once felt downright cruel.

I tried to imagine it again— my face buried between the softness of her thighs. As much as I wanted to lay her down and indulge myself as long as possible, taking all the time in the world to slowly devour her and truly explore her for myself, what ran through my mind then was something more in the vein of our dynamic thus far.

My mind wandered, specifically to a place where I was the one laying down as she sat down directly onto my face and gave me what she thought I deserved. My hands were tied to the bed, maybe handcuffed. All I knew was that I couldn't touch her, and it bothered me. So I whined, and every time the sound left my mouth, she would let up, lifting further out of reach and causing me to instinctively reach my head up to chase her.

You greedy little slut... Take what I give you...

Desperately seeking her approval, I told her I'd be good and rejoiced when she lowered herself down to me again, allowing me to me completely wrapped up in her once more. My tongue lapped and lapped, gathering as much of her as I could before she'd inevitably leave again.

But she never did.

Somehow I kept my quiet, even though it was extremely difficult, and ate her out like my life depended on it. She glided smoothly over my face, coating more than just my lips in her arousal, and it thrilled me to my very core.

Every time I breathed in I could smell her, every time she groaned out my name my stomach fluttered, and it wasn't long before she was clutching my hair, shaking above me while I drank her in and repressed my whines.

My hips were uncontrollable though, bucking up into nothing and begging for any type of stimulation.

But then suddenly it was there— Her hand, firmly wrapping around my dick and gliding over it beautifully with a slickness that she must have transferred from her pussy. I could still taste her as I cried out her name, her movements quickening with every second until—

I didn't even realize I was actually alone until my eyes opened, cum coating my hand, my heartbeat heavy and loud, and the laptop screen in front of me a shade darker signaling a long period of inactivity.

I'd done it again...

And now we most certainly were not even.

I glanced over at my phone—plugged into the laptop—and then down at my lap, and my stomach knotted as my next move rang clear as day.

***

I woke up the next morning to texts from Spencer, and my heart picked up speed, a gentle warmth blooming through my chest at the sight.

I thought maybe he'd thank me for the photo I'd sent. Maybe he'd return it with an influx of messages along the lines of Oh my god, Holy fuck I miss you, and the like.

But what I wasn't expecting was to see a photo in return, of his hand that I'd dreamt of nearly nightly, wrapped firmly around his cock and all of it completely covered in cum.

Below the photo were three messages in a row, and each one gave me more butterflies than the last.

Sorry for low quality. No smartphone.

Also sorry we're not even anymore.

But I'm not sorry I did it- you're too perfect to resist.

***

Dearest Y/N,

I'm sorry you haven't gotten a letter from me in a while. And I know we've kept in touch through texting and calling while I was swamped at work, though now that I have some time off, I'd love to write you again. As much as I enjoy our virtual conversations, I still find sending letters to be my preferred method of communication (only second to speaking with you in person, that is).

Which brings me to the main point I'm trying to make.

I want to see you again. In person. I'm not completely confident in my cooking ability yet, but if you wouldn't mind the potential of it tasting awful, I'd love to have you over. I promise you nothing but the best, and I know that's a high promise, especially considering I probably haven't sold you on the meal, but it's true.

I'd do anything to please you.

And I really do mean 'anything', I hope you understand that.

Yours, Spencer.

***

The thought of seeing him in person again after so long made my hands way shakier than I would have liked. It made no sense the longer I thought about it, because it was obvious that we liked each other, and seeing each other in person wouldn't be a problem. Because it'd never been a problem before.

It irked me.

Still, I knocked on his door and physically shook out my hands, praying I could keep my cool when he finally opened the door.

But I should have known better.

One second I was staring at a large plank of wood, and the next I was staring into frantic eyes, golden and sparkling just as I remembered, but with an added glimmer of fear that matched the shakiness of my hands.

I don't know how long we stood there, just staring at each other, but the longer we did, the more we relaxed. His fear was gone, and the shaking in my hands turned into a dull hum that longed to reach out for him.

Still, I refrained, settling on a simple, "Hey, pen pal..."

By the way he looked at me, silent as ever, I started to wonder if that was a stupid thing to lead with. So I opened my mouth to apologize, to say anything else, but he beat me to it.

"Y/N... I... H—Hi, you look... incredible."

"O—Oh, thanks... Thank you, yeah, I um... figured I should... dress up a little. I know we're not going out anywhere, but I thought it might be nice."

He doesn't need to know that, Y/N, stop talking!

I gave him a small smile and a nervous laugh in an attempt to stop myself, hating how I was so nervous around him.

Spencer didn't seem to mind, though. He let me in and closed the door behind me as I quickly glanced around his apartment. It was littered with greens and browns, books everywhere, and I'd never felt more at home.

"Is it, uh... What you expected?"

"Hmm?" I turned to meet him, his soft voice pulling me from my wandering eyes.

"My apartment."

"Oh! Yeah, it's very you... I love it."

The compliment had his cheeks turning pink, and there was nothing I wanted to do more than kiss them over and over again.

And just like that, once again we were caught just staring at each other. I didn't know what he was thinking, and honestly, I didn't know what I was thinking either. All I knew in that moment was that Spencer Reid was standing right in front of me, close enough to touch, and I wanted to give in.

I was so wrapped up in the idea of feeling him that I almost didn't hear him speak. I wouldn't have heard him at all had it not been for his lips moving.

"I'm sorry, I haven't started dinner yet..."

"That's okay," I reassured. Or, at least I tried to. Really, though, I think it sounded more like I was uninterested in what he was saying, my voice flat and lifeless as I continued to stare at him.

Suddenly we were closer, and I had to look up higher to see his face, butterflies swarming in my stomach at the way he looked down at me.

"You're sure?"

"Mhm."

"I can start it now if you're getting hungry."

Food isn't what I'm hungry for, is what I thought. I almost said it, too, because he was even closer now, his hands coming out to touch mine. If they were humming before, they were certainly blaring with life now, growing hot under his light touch. And it took everything I had not to look down, because it had been too damn long since I'd seen his hands in person, and I wanted them on me immediately.

He could tell, too. He could sense my urgency, feel the longing radiating off my presence, and I knew this because I could feel his, too. His eyes practically dared me to say what I was thinking, and so I did.

"Don't you dare."

It was hard to tell who moved in first, but it really didn't matter.

I was here, in his apartment, feeling his lips glide over mine with reckless abandon, and that's all that mattered.

His hands gripped my waist so tightly I would have thought he was trying to hold me in place, to make sure I wasn't ever going to leave his sight again. And if that was the case, I would have let him hold me there forever.

My hands, meanwhile, clutched at his hair, forcing myself closer and closer to him with every sharp tug. I reveled in the way he whined into my mouth with every little thing I did, whether it was a tug of the hair or a roll forward of the hips, or even a swipe of my tongue over his.

He was putty in my hands yet again, and just like every time before, it turned me into a fucking goner.

Being with Spencer wasn't like anything I'd ever known. And the only other thing I'd known was Patrick. He didn't want me, not really, and even though he was good to me in the beginning, it was never like this.

I didn't come over to his apartment with shaking hands. I didn't send him fucking love letters almost weekly, and I certainly didn't get kissed like this...

Spencer was drunk on me, and I wasn't any sober myself.

"That picture you sent me..." I mumbled over his lips, still keeping myself as close as I could while I got out what I needed to say. "Where did you take that?"

We kissed for a few more seconds, unable to stay apart, before he answered, his voice just as breathy and brimming with desperation as mine. "My office. Just down the hall."

I kissed him again, hard, and then pulled back to look him in the eyes. They widened when I said, "Show me."

He dragged me through the apartment on rushed legs, and I almost laughed at the urgency, only stopped by the realization that I was just as urgent. It occurred to me that perhaps my laughing at his urgency might just be a slight turn on for him, given our history with my playful degradation, but still I pulled back— Tonight felt... different.

It didn't feel like we were headed in the direction of me calling him my dirty little whore throughout the night, and it was something I was more than okay with. In fact, I welcomed it, excited to see where this new night would take us.

We ended up in his office, which remained more or less the same aesthetic as the rest of his place. In the middle sat a small desk with a laptop and some papers scattered about on it, accompanied by a tall floor lamp and a rolling desk chair.

"Where were you exactly?" I mused, gripping his hand tightly and buzzing at the way his fingers flexed against my own.

"In the chair... I pulled the photo up on my laptop."

"Right. No smartphone."

Spencer hummed in confirmation before dragging me along to the chair, and I fucking giggled as he plopped down and practically pulled me right on top of him, the chair rolling back a foot or two. I went down for a bright, messy kiss that ended with his hands clutching my ass over my skirt and my own cradling his face.

His growing bulge nudged right up into my inner thigh, and I groaned lightly in his mouth, my fingers dragging softly down his jaw and neck until I reached his shoulders.

"What were you thinking about?"

He raised his eyebrow, and I rocked my hips forward with a sly grin, hoping to get my point across. "When you were looking at my picture, in this very chair, what were you thinking about?"

Seeing his eyelids stutter and his tongue dart out at my movements sent a rush through me, and I moved my hips once more to emphasize my urgency.

"I... I thought about you... riding my face. You tied my hands..."

"Oh?" I sighed, rocking forward again and humming into his neck. "Well, that can definitely be arranged if you want it bad enough..."

"Please, Y/N, yes... Please..."

The need dripping from every syllable made it near impossible to breathe, and I was suddenly very inclined to give him everything he wanted. With or without the begging.

So I reluctantly peeled away from him and stood up on weak legs. Staring at Spencer as he sat there, leaning back in the chair with disheveled hair and obvious desire in his eyes, made it all the better when I took my panties off from under my skirt and motioned for him to come forward. "On your knees?"

I would have demanded it in any other situation, but I was feeling a bit more sweet this time around.

And he seemed grateful for it, sliding the chair back further and getting down in front of me. I reached out and played with his hair, trying my hardest to commit his beautiful face to memory. I wanted it burned there for the rest of time.

"Hands?"

Spencer offered his hands to me, and I hummed happily, doing my best to tie his hands together with a makeshift knot from my panties. It wasn't really tight or secure, but it was enough for him to whine as he set them in his lap.

He watched intently as I dropped my skirt—a bit redundant now, but I thought it'd be a nice way to get him more excited. Plus I wanted to see his face (or at lease what I could see of it while it was buried between my legs).

I stepped forward then, looking down at him with a smile while my hands reached out to comb through his hair. "You ready?"

"Uh huh."

The look in his eyes right before I came forward and hovered over his face almost made my come on the spot.

But as fun as that would have been, I was glad for the way my body held off and settled for a beautiful, burning increase of pleasure that dragged out the longer he swiped his tongue through my folds. Actually, I forgot for a moment that I was supposed to be moving, riding his face like he'd thought about.

I willed my eyes open and clutched Spencer's soft locks of hair beneath me, gently rolling my hips and grinding down further on his face.  The groan he let out not only felt good against my skin, but it sounded like pure bliss, eliciting a small whimper of my own as I tightened my grip in his hair and rocked faster.

"God, I missed having your mouth on me, baby... You're... so good..."

The longer I spoke the more breathless I became, not because the words didn't come easily, but because I truly believed them to be true.

Spencer really was so fucking good, his tongue the most delicate, divine object of the universe as it drew out every ounce of delight from my body. I may have been the one above him, calling the shots and directing him where and how to please me, but he was the one who clung to my soul like static and politely guided me towards damnation.

I wasn't even sure of my surroundings to tell you the truth. As my body tensed and took me through one of the most blinding pleasures I'd experienced in weeks, My eyes were squeezed so tightly it's like I saw the universe. All I knew was Spencer's lips sucking my clit and my hands deeply rooted in his hair as I shouted incoherently, stars swirling around behind my eyelids.

Truly, for all I knew, we could have been in space. It wouldn't have made any difference.

But eventually it came to be too much. I was reaching a limit I didn't want to get to so quickly, and so I flashed my eyes open and tried to adjust to this brand new atmosphere, unweaving my fingers through pretty brown waves of hair and stepping back to assess the situation.

What I found was the most beautiful man I'd ever known, panting like he'd just ran a marathon and yet harboring the most intense joy and desire a person could hold. He was on his knees, bound hands writhing in his lap as he awaited further instruction and licked up as much of myself on his face as he could before I stopped him.

Under normal circumstances, I would have wanted to absolutely ruin him. That adoring, desperate look in his eye would have spurred me to more devious endeavors, but all I wanted in this moment was to make sure he was satisfied. I wanted to take care of him, to let him know that I longed to make him feel as worshipped and adored as he'd made me feel.

I got down to Spencer's level, quickly removing the fabric from his wrists and hauling him to his feet, where he now towered over me, still waiting for words to address and instruct him.

Instead, I leaned up with soft hands upon his cheeks and pulled him down to meet my lips in a kiss that changed the tone entirely. It was erotic still, of course, what with my arousal infiltrating my taste buds and eliciting a soft sigh from the both of us, but our urgency manifested in sweeter ways... Softer lips, gentle touches of the face, and an exchanging of breath that was so smooth and seamless it felt like we were floating on air.

I was finding it hard to breathe again, but it wasn't an issue in the slightest. In fact, there was nowhere else I'd rather have been than right there, kissing Spencer Reid like we had all the time in the world.

When the breathlessness was a little too much to bear, we pulled away, though only leaving just enough space to breathe. Our lips stayed briefly connected while we caught up, and his hands found their way to the sides of my face. The way they practically engulfed my whole head brought a brief smile to my lips as I finally gave him the words he was looking for.

"I'm so glad I met you," I whispered.

"Funny, I was just thinking the same thing."

We kissed each other again, naturally and with so much ease that I wondered how I had ever lived without him.

And then, as my hands slid gently down his chest, I felt it.

Something that felt very much like a ring attached to a necklace sat right where his heartbeat resided, and I knew exactly which ring it was.

"W—" I pulled back and circled the shape of it with my finger through the shirt, then looked up at him. "Is that what I think it is?"

Spencer looked briefly panicked, pulling away a little and fishing down the front of his shirt for the chain. "Oh... Um, yeah. I, um... I forgot to take it off, I'm sorry. I..."

"You... kept it?"

I observed the diamond as it laid flat on my palm, still attached to the chain and around his neck. Honestly, after all this time I figured he'd never found it or gotten rid of it, seeing as he never brought it up. And yet there it was, glittering in the palm of my hand as my other one presses firmly against Spencer's rapidly beating heart.

"Y—Yeah... It um... It was really the only physical thing I had to remember you—Well, at least until we started sending letters... And I guess I just... W—Wearing it has become such a habit that I forgot to take it off."

"You never take it off?"

I could tell he was nervous, and rightfully so given I wasn't really letting on how I was feeling about the whole thing.

Still, he answered my short question in such a small whisper I'd have thought he was trying not to get in trouble.

"No."

"Why?"

My words certainly weren't helping ease his anxieties, so I remained close, dropping the ring and focusing rather on his eyes. I softened the look in my own and glided my hands down to hold his. His fingers flexed against mine, squeezing them for dear life as he sighed out in relief and flashed me a soft smile.

"Because... I wanted you close to my heart."

With a smile that mirrored his eyes, full of enchantment and pure adoration for the person in front of me, I didn't use my brain and instead focused on what my heart was telling me, consequences be damned.

"I think I might love you..."

Spencer squeezed my hands tighter, that relief spreading out to all his features and brightening that beautiful smile.

"Funny... I was just thinking the same thing."

Our lips met once more, and I swear it was like nothing bad was ever going to happen for the rest of time.

I'd never felt that way. Not once with Patrick did my heart feel settled into place, even during the great parts of our relationship.

And now here I was, with a man who sent me love letters and kept every physical reminder of my existence, who kissed me like I was the most precious thing in the world and slowly mended my wounded heart.

He held me close the whole way to his bedroom and never let me go until the morning. Though, even then his arms outstretched towards me and his fingers flexed, needing to grab onto any part of me that he could find.

And as I was sure I always would, I welcomed him with open arms.

***

PERMANENT TAGLIST:  @elldell1204 @muffin-cup @calm-and-doctor @slutforthegubes @rainsong01 @yourmisosoup @liveloudwriteloud @reidsconverse @la-vie-en-amour1 @edgycowboy666 @averyhotchner @centiaaa @lizziechaseee @coffeeandendlesswords @usuck @spenxerslut @ssacalumsg0lden @emilyprentisslittlewhore @takeyourleap-of-faith @reidyoulikeabook @spencerreid9 @b-a-utiful @jareauswifey @flipperpenguins @pansexualthing @donald4spiderman @awesomebooklover17 @shemarmooresfedora @izraahh1 @bakugouswh0r3 @singularityjc @xoxospencerreid @thatsonezesty13

TAGS NOT WORKING: @ayla-1605 @big-galaxy-chaos

If you would like to be added to or removed from the taglist, feel free to message me or leave a comment and I’ll get on it right away!

[bitchylandtyphoon]

Sugar on Honey🍯

A/N: Hellooo I hope you guys are doing great I just wanted to try writing a Jim Hopper fic since I barely see any like come on he's so fine and ugh. Ahem anyways pls enjoy the story if u have any recommendations feel free to comment! If u have a request feel free to send a message to me! I'm still new to Tumblr so I'm not really sure how to work any of this sorry about that! ------------------------------------❈---------------------------------------- Hopper didn’t understand how you were so calm with Eleven. He tried, he really did. He took care of Eleven as if he was her own but he couldn't be as gentle and soft as you were. “This is an apple ok? It's red, sweet and a fruit. This is a cucumber, it's green and a vegetable!” Hopper watched as you taught Eleven basic English. “Ok, now you try” You hold up a bunch of grapes. “These are...grapes, sweet, blue and...fruit?” Eleven guessed while squinting hard at the grapes. “Heyyyy not bad! You're doing great, you just mixed up purple with blue but no biggie. Do you wanna do another one?” You said encouragingly. Eleven nods and proceeds to pick another product to investigate. “Oooh~ Hopper watches as you two laugh and learn, he couldn't stop himself from smiling, he appreciated what you were doing especially since Eleven was on house arrest. You were the only one he could trust. He absentmindedly takes a sip of his dark coffee hissing as it was too hot to drink. “You ok?” Hopper looks up to see you looking at him with a worried expression on your face. He loved that face, it was pretty cute. He chuckled “Ye, just too hot to drink” “Be careful before you burn your tongue off for good” You start cleaning the food off of the ground. “Yeah yeah, I won't mom” Hopper jokes as he goes into the kitchen. “Very funny Hopper haha” You give a playful glare “What is so funny? Ha...ha?” Eleven asks, seeing you two joking around not understanding the sarcasm. “Oh it's just sarcasm honey, try finding it in the dictionary, you'll find the meaning there.” You give a gentle smile while pointing to the thick book. “Well, there you go word of the day.” Hopper comes back into the hall sitting in the big chair stirring his spoon in the white coffee-stained mug. You wondered how much coffee he really drinks in a day. “S-A-R-C-A-S-M? the use of i- irony to m-mock or con-convey contempt?” Eleven read trying to read the words correctly. She looked at you for guidance and approval. “Good job kid, you’re doing so well, I need to go now, be a good girl for me ok?” you kissed her crown and gave a hug feeling her arms slowly wrapping around your bottom. “Bye-bye now~” “Bye (Y/N)” Eleven gave a small shy smile as she watched you look for your coat. “Here you go, make sure to zip up” Hopper gives you your coat helping you put it on. “Mm thanks, Hopper” “You want a ride?” Hopper suggests side-eyeing you while he refills his coffee. “I think ill manage, il call if anything happens” “Nope nope it's freezing, not letting you go out alone especially when it's night,” He says sternly as he puts on his coat and boots grabbing his keys on the way to the door “I'll be fine-” “Come on, let's go” You sigh “Ok fine” You trudge to his truck knowing he wouldn't let you win the argument. Giving a small wave to Eleven through the window. You pull his hand stopping him from going too close to the truck. “What, what's wrong, did you forget something?” Hopper asked “No you did” Hopper gives you a confused look “Eleven” “What about her?” “You didn't tell her bye” You take your hand backcrossing it against your chest as you look at the chief disappointed. Hopper sighs and goes back to the house, you watch as he tells Eleven bye” “Happy?” He says with his arms out as he walks towards you. “Depends,” You say as you open the truck door. You wait until he starts the car and starts moving out of the parking area. “What did you tell her?” “What?” “What did you tell her?” “I told her to keep the doors locked, not go out, keep windows and curtains closed-” “Hopperrr” You interrupt him,

sighing with your head down “What have I told you, give be gentle with her. She’s smart and strong, she can handle herself if anything happens. All you have to do is give her a simple bye and a hug” You put a hand on his leg “I know you're trying Jim, I really do know that. I've seen some progress and I'm really happy for both of you. Don’t be so harsh on her ok? She’s just a kid” Hopper sighs calming under your touch. “I know, I know I just. I feel like if I don't be hard on her, she’ll run away, get in some serious trouble and go meet her boyfriend.” Hopper rolls his eyes thinking of Eleven and MIke together. “Well if I was on house arrest and a teenager I would've run away to see my boyfriend too,” You say taking your hand off of his leg. “No you wouldn’t, you wouldn't even go out to the park, you were too much of a wuss,” He says as he looks for something in his coat. You dramatically gasp “Ok first of all, you're right, I would've never run away. Second, I have strict parents and you know that. Third I am not a wuss I just like staying home,” you sigh “who am I kidding I hated going out and being around people, especially with those dumb kids running around” You shake your head thinking of how introverted you were as a kid. Hopper laughs, throwing his head back watching you jokingly pout at him. He takes a cigarette out of his right pocket. “Well you were always the kid in the back of the room, quiet and shy, never understood how you could keep your mouth shut for so long” You grab the cigarette out of his mouth throwing it away somewhere in the car making him give you a glare “You know how my parents are, “be quiet,” “be good,'' “do good in school”, “no boys”” You say, quoting your parents' famous words. “Well at least they raised a good person,” He said, giving a genuine compliment your way. “Hah, that was all my doing” Frowning remembering how horrible your parents were at raising a child. You saw Hopper turning the radio on. You knew what he was doing but you weren't going to stop him at all. He turned it to the classic rock channel starting to sing and rock his head. Ah, how you loved him. Hey hey baby when you walk that way, Watch your honey drip, can't keep away Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh, ah, ahOh yeah, oh yeah, oh, ah, ah. “Here comes Jim Hopper, everyone missing members of Led Zeppelin'' You say as if there's a crowd. I gotta roll, can't stand still Got a flamin' heart, can't get my fill You laugh at how amusing he sounds, he's not half bad for the chief of police. Eyes that shine, burnin' red Dreams of you all through my head You throw your head back clutching your stomach, you just couldn't stop laughing. “Come on singggg, I know you know this one” Hopper says encouraging you to sing. “Noooo, are you crazy?!” You yell at him “Come onnnn” He pushes you You roll your eyes as he starts singing again. Hey, baby, oh baby, pretty baby Move me like you're doin' now- “Who knew the kitten could sing huh?” Hopper looks at you while you start singing with a big smile.

Didn't take too long 'fore I found out What people mean by down and out

Spent my money, took my car Started tellin' her friends she gonna be a star~ ------------------------------------❈---------------------------------------- “Thanks for the ride, really appreciate it Jim. Goodnight. Make sure to get some rest ok?” You say as you close the door “Yeah yeah mom, I get it” You give him a glare through the window door. Giving him a wave you turn around to your place. “Hold on!” You hear Hopper's voice shout behind you. Stopping in your tracks you turn around to see Hopper speed walking towards trying not to slip from the thick snow on the ground. The night was so beautiful, the snow was thick and flowing down like paper, it wasn't too cold but just cold enough to make the tip of your nose red. The street lights were on looking like yellow stars in the dark blue sky. It was perfect. “You forgot your bag,” He said, giving it to you. “Oh? OH thank you” you said, giving him a thankful smile while reaching for the bag. “It's fine, it's not like I'm gonna steal it now” Hopper chuckles putting his hands in his coat pockets. “Well, why would anyone steal a gift they gave to someone else?” You said giggling as you put the bag on. He grins “It looks good on you by the way, really suits you” “Oh, thanks” You blush at the comment while brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “I was just thinking, you don't have to if you want, but I just wanted to ask you if u wanted to go on a date? I was thinking of a restaurant but only if u wanted to go there, we can go somewhere else, really up to you," he sighed "I'm gonna shut up now, have a goodnight” Hopper turned on his heel and started leaving but felt a tug on his coat. “I would love to go on a date with you Jim,” You said, giving him a gentle smile. You stood up on your tiptoes giving him a peck on the cheek. It felt different because of the stubble but you liked it. The butterflies in both of your stomachs were going crazy, fluttering around as if they were being chased by a bird. You wanted to stay in his warm embrace but fell back down due to the height difference.

“6 pm Friday at Johnnie's?” “I would love that, casual dress code?” “Why would we need a dress code?” He joked “Hoppperr” You hit his chest distancing yourself heading to your house. You stood on the porch seeing him waiting for you to go in your house safely. You lean against your doorway. “Goodnight Jim” God he loved it when you called him by Jim, it was like sugar on honey. “Goodnight kitten” You smiled at the nickname.

Heading inside you close the door, leaning against it. “EEEEEEEEEEE he actually asked me out, oh my god” You laugh at how excited you were acting. You couldn't wait. --------------------------------------❈-------------------------------------- Hopper headed to his truck getting in and turning the radio on. “Good job Hop, good job” He chuckled as he drove off. He couldn't wait.

[shinebrightlikeanarwhal]

Brain going brrr for Shen Jiu food today sosisosl

So hear me out, modern au. Shen Jiu doesn’t remember anything of their past live(s) and is a relatively famous internet chef. Like he has a PO Box and everything for his fans to send gifts or letters for him to personally read and tell them either what to do or that he’s proud, he never shows his face though, a deathly fear of being found, but by who? His young son, Ming Fan, is all but excited to be Shen Jiu’s direct bloodline in this life. Shen Qingqiu was always his father figure in the first life, but the second he got hurt or something and started caring for that nasty LBH.

Sometimes, Shen Jiu feels unsafe when out on the street and going about his day to day life. He doesn’t know why but certain faces of public figures terrify him. A little lady on the street selling hand made jewelry and staring at him like she’s seen a ghost makes him physically sick. God, he despises the face of this rather famous actor, Luo Bing-something?? He hates this confusing feeling that seemed to come of nowhere. That doesn’t stop them from trying to approach once they see him.

Women in fancy clothes and strong perfume dote on him and he practically melts in their arms. Confused on how they know his name but more than happy to chat about life. They seem happy for him, ecstatic even! Men in suits ranging from serious CEO to flashy idols would stop their cars and holler at him for his time of day. He despises men like that and gives them no acknowledgement while he continues on his way. If he’s lucky they have a tight schedule, if not they follow him to the grocery store and corner him in the frozen section while he picks out treats for his son. Two men have tried that and were met with a smack by popsicles. Social media was set a blaz when videos of this Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge cornered the same man on different days and tried harassing him. Of course their stans refused to believe it was their fault. It MUST be the pretty man minding his business throughout the proof on the grocery camera. The companies dared to contact him afterwards and SJ happily sent back his lawyers information and video proof of their ‘important persons’ harassment and stalking.

One was bold enough to publicly announce that they were looking for him at a political event. Broadcasted nationwide. Shen Jiu felt nothing but disdain for that Yue man. Who says “I’m looking for a man I haven’t seen since I was young and dumb.” During a political conference?? Just because you know it’s being broadcasted!? His fans during a livestream asked what he thought about it and he angrily said that Yue man was a fool! An absolute clown for thinking that wishing some guy that doesn’t even know him will come looking for him just because he said his name!

He never had a bad experience with women until one scowled at him and he instinctively scowled back. He had his son with him that day and was trying to not be hounded. But this woman continued to follow him and berate his clothing, his hair. He could handle scrutiny of himself but the moment she said anything about Ming Fan, be it his appearance or his mother, he drew the line. Wiping around to face this despicable woman and spitting the iciest response he could without scaring Ming Fan. He remembered seeing her on a magazine before. Some model or washed up actress. God help her when he posts the body cam footage his partner made him wear after the second Grocery store incident. She scoffed at him and just continued to point and jeer at him. Wondering if the others were only following him for his pretty face. Others?? The men that harassed him and the girls that scurried with their tail between their legs?? Shen Jiu is starting to think it’s time to move. He desperately wants to mind his business and live his life but they seem adamant on harassing him.

So he does! He announces it on a video after the fact so that they can’t find him even if they try to. Perks of dating a rich ceo, anonymity is quite easy with money!

Shen Jiu happily married his now hubby and they have many more kids with Ming Fan adoring them all. He refuses to be nice to this one lady at his school that tries to be friendly with him and will run crying to SJ, who remembers her as the jewelry stand girl, and he immediately has his son in a different class. Life going well for the man who was claimed to be evil in past lives, meanwhile the others are crumbling day by day now that he’s missing and they can’t seem to find him, no matter what. (NYY may have stalked him to the remote village but she wouldn’t tell the others. She can’t risk making Shizun hate her more). The ones that harassed her were publicly pitted by their companies and forced to apologize to him specifically. When word got out that Shen Jiu vanished it did NOT look good for them.. LBH had the wrath of his mother and LQG had a mother and grandmother to fear. QQQ was fired and black listed from the media. She would have just apologized if she had insulted the man himself, but following and insulting the child too? The media scorned her already shitty gossip personality. Any time she tried to get on tv they would turn on his and snicker about her cancellation. YQY lived lavishly, but lonely. He had a political marriage and no children. He refused to touch his wife. No matter what she would say all he could do is smile and apologize. Work wise things were going well. Since they didn’t have a punching bag to push everything on and the other politicians seemed to work smoothly despite disagreements, he had no real need to focus on work 24/7. But he did. He was always in his office scouring the internet for Xiao Jiu.

SY and SQH weren’t mentioned because they literally wouldn’t do anything different from usual. They wouldn’t even meet their past life husbands (LBH would think SY is a fan and just give his usual charm and leave. He’s already found SJ, this man is just a fake clearly). SQH wouldn’t have the chance to get MBJ, the neet writer would see him once and fumble his words. Probably earning a scoff as MBJ walked off to go meet his peer/partner. The two millennials would probably bond online over a story and get close. Maybe a failed relationship but remained friends.

TLDR; Everyone reincarnated and their lives fall apart if they don’t change their attitude towards SJ. SJ doesn’t remember them and just wants to raise his baby MF in peace. Jobs are lost and public relations are plummeting because these fools couldn’t find healthier ways to reconnect with SJ.

[tyongxnct]

𝘗𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 - 𝘛𝘦𝘯

pairing: Ten x reader

summary: Your best friend finally became your boyfriend, but not longer after that, he got a once in a lifetime opportunity. Ten didn’t know If he should take the offer, you only started dating recently but you would never hold him back. Going to a dance school in New York City? You know how much Ten loves dancing and you also know that you could make this work. But after a couple months, your relationship was slowly falling apart. 

song: Pillow - Bebe Rexha

genre: bestfriends-to-lovers!au, long-distance!au, angst, smut, fluff

warnings: smut (that’s it i guess)

word count: 5.6k

A/N: I’ll probably take a song fic break after this one! I hope you enjoy this!! have fun reading :)

taglist: @aesthetichrj​, @bitchenderyy​, @bvbyxuxi​, @chitaphrrrr​

this is fiction!

© tyongxnct on all platforms

I just wanna kiss your face I just wanna feel your gaze I just wanna, I just wanna I just wanna be where you are I just wanna feel your touch I'm not asking for too much I just wanna, I just wanna I just wanna wake up where you are

You missed the way he kissed you. You missed the way he looked at you with so much adoration, you missed his touch on your skin.

You missed him, you missed Ten.

“I miss you.” You whispered, half asleep. You were facetiming Ten and it’s been almost two months since he left.

“I miss you more.” Ten smiled as he watched you slowly fall asleep.

“That’s not possible.”

Ten looked at you with those eyes again.

“What?”

“Nothing. You’re just so pretty.”

“Shut up.” You said shyly.

“But it’s the truth.”

“I love you.”

“I love you more.” And then you fell asleep. That was your routine. Facetime with Ten until you fell asleep.

Yes, you missed him and you would prefer to sleep next to him, but Ten was living his dream and his happiness was your happiness.

I used to think that love was just so easy But I couldn't be less right Yeah I finally found someone perfect, just for me Gotta fly thousands of miles, yeah

four months ago

“Why? Please tell me, why is it so hard to find the perfect guy? Is there not a single guy who’s interested in me? Am I going to die alone? Am I too ugly to be loved?” you cried out.

Ten sighed. He wanted to tell you so bad that you were the prettiest girl in the entire world and that he would love you forever, but he was just you’re best friend. You didn’t like him like that. Right?

“No you’re not, now shut up and focus on new girl.”

“Is it too much I’m asking for? I just want someone to love me. Like really love me. Am I not loveable?” you asked him.

You looked at the screen and watched Nick and Jess share their first (and absolutely amazing and passionate) kiss.

“I want what they have! Look at the way he kisses her! I want that, I need that!”

After watching a couple more episodes of new girl, Ten decided to go home. He wanted to kiss you so bad, he imagined it the whole time instead of focusing on new girl. “You can stay the night if you want to.” You told him.

“Nah, I should go home. Lucas texted me and asked me to take Bella out since he’s busy with whatever her name was.”

“Fine. Text me when you get home.” You hugged your best friend goodbye before he left and he hugged you back, a little longer than normal. You were standing in front of the door and just hugged each other.

A couple minutes later he left and you missed his touch.

With a sad sigh you closed the door and went to the kitchen. You wanted to drink something, but suddenly the doorbell rang.

“Did you forget-“

You opened the door and saw Ten standing there and before you could finish your question, Ten pressed his lips on yours to shut you up. You didn’t move at first, your head was spinning, you weren’t sure if it was the alcohol or just the fact that Ten, you’re best friend who you secretly loved more than anything else on this planet, kissed you with so much passion.

You pulled him closer as you put your arms around his neck. You were kissing him back and you accidently let out a moan when he put his tongue inside your mouth. You were never, ever kissed like this.

He softly pulled away to let you breathe again. Ten licked over his lips and stepped back.

“You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. You’re absolutely beautiful and I couldn’t stop myself from kissing you. I-I’m sorry If I just destroyed our friendship, but I need you to know how I feel about you. I don’t want you to date random men, I don’t want you to think that you are not enough, because fuck, you are. You are perfect and I want to love you like you deserved to be loved. If you let me.”

You looked at him with teary eyes. Ten, your best friend who you were crushing on for years, your best friend who helped you find cute outfits for your dates, even though he hated every second of you looking cute for another guy, your best friend who just confessed to you.

“I love you.” You blurred out.

Ten’s eyes widened.

“Shit, did I say it too soon?” you looked down to your feet.

“Fuck I love you too.” And without hesitation he pulled you closer to kiss you again, “I love you so much.” He said in between kisses.

That’s how your relationship started. He stayed the night and told Lucas to take care of Bella himself. He wanted to spend some time with his best- no, his girlfriend.

You were dating for three months now, and you can’t remember a time you were happier. You loved to go on dates with Ten, but you also loved the nights you had just dance battles at home. Ten always won, he was a dancer after all. Dancing was his passion, he loved it and he was the greatest dancer you’ve ever seen and when he told you about the school he wanted to apply to, you encouraged him to do it. One day, he got an email, but he was too scared to read it so he rushed over to your apartment.

“It’s going to be fine.” You assured him.

“C-Can you read it? Please?”

You smiled softly, “Sure.”

You opened the email and read it out loud, “Dear Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul, I would like to congratulate you for winning a scholarship in our school-“

“Oh my god I’m in?” he couldn’t believe it.

“You are in! I knew you would make it!” you hugged him tightly and he hugged you back even tighter after he realized that he had to leave you.

“I can’t believe this.” He mumbled into your neck.

“I can! You deserve this so much, I’m so proud of you Ten.” You pressed a kiss on his shoulder before you pulled back to look him in the eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too. So much.” He said sadly.

“What’s wrong. Why are you not smiling and dancing?” you smiled softly.

“I-It’s in New York. I don’t want to leave you, maybe I should refuse-” He said unsure but you interrupted him.

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence. Ten, Baby, I love you and I promise you that everything is going to be fine. You worked so hard, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, I’ll love you no matter where you are. We can make this work.”

You tried to stop yourself from crying so bad, you bit your lip almost too painfully.

“You are right. We’ll make this work. Thank you for believing in me.” He kissed every inch of your face, “You are the best girlfriend in this entire world. I love you so much.”

It took you so long to finally be with Ten and now you had a long-distance relationship. But your love was so strong, you could make this work. You promised each other to make this work.

I'll be alright, just one more night I'll be just fine, holdin' my pillow Pretending it's you though I'll be alright, just one more night I'll be just fine, holdin' my pillow Pretending it's you though

Babe 03:23: Sorry baby, we practiced a little longer than usual. You’re probably sleeping right now, sweet dreams. I love you and I’ll call you tomorrow. I promise.

You were actually still awake, you couldn’t fall asleep. You were worried and you missed him so much that you had to wait for an answer.

You threw the pillow you were hugging against the wall and sat up. You took your phone in your hand and smiled brightly as you called him on facetime. It’s been two minutes since he called, why did it take him so long to answer? You called him again and when he didn’t answer you texted him a simple good night and I love you.

You grabbed your pillow again and hugged it tightly. You tried to stop yourself from crying, but it was so hard. It’s been 7 months since Ten left, and the first couple months of your long-distance relationship was easy, you talked every day and texted often too, you would facetime before you would go to sleep and he would send you random pictures and videos of New York and his dance school so you would know about his lifestyle there.

But now he’s been pretty busy and you would talk maybe three times a week if he had time. He would answer your texts when you were asleep or not at all. Sometimes you were worried that he was overworking himself, but he assured you that everything was chill and easy. So why was he acting so distant?

Maybe tomorrow will be a better day, you told yourself as you tried to fall asleep. You would try to call him tomorrow and tell him that you were sad and that you missed him. Communication is the key after all, but for now, you’d cry into your pillow and imagine it was Ten you were hugging.

I need a minute to breathe you in Just a second to taste your skin I just gotta, I just gotta Feel you here right next to me Can we please just go back in time Those lazy Sundays, you and I 'Cause every hour and every day Is more painful when you're away

It was the last night before Ten would leave for New York. You spend the last month everyday together, it was almost like he moved in with you, but you pushed back that thought to stop your heart from hurting.

“Is it tasty?” you asked him.

You had ordered some Pizza and he asked you if you wanted a piece. You refused at first but now you wanted some and he laughed at your cute acting and gave you his last two pieces. “No it’s too much.” You giggled. “Just eat it, we both know that you could finish another box of Pizza baby.”

“Well, that’s true.”

He put his head on your lap while you were eating the last piece of Pizza. “You look so hot from here eating that Pizza. Tomato sauce on your lips, wow, baby, I get hard just looking at you from here.” He joked and you slapped him softly.

“Don’t make fun of me or you can sleep on the floor.”

Ten pouted, “You wouldn’t do that.”

You spent the next hours just laying lazily on your couch and cuddling. You would miss nights like these the most, just being with him and talking about everything that came to your minds. You loved it and you loved him.

You didn’t notice him crawl between your legs as you laid against the armrest. “What do you think? Should we take this off?” he pulled on your shirt.

“Maybe we should.” You smirked, “And maybe you should take your shirt off too.”

And he did. He took off his shirt first before he slowly, teasingly took off yours. You were just wearing a shirt and panties and now you were almost completely naked under him. “You’re so hot.” You heard him say before he started kissing your boobs. His hand softly caressed your pussy over your panties.

Your nipples hardened instantly, your head fell back and you just enjoyed his tongue on your breasts. “It feels so good.” You moaned.

After giving enough attention to your other nipple, Ten stood up and carried you to your bedroom. “It’s going to be a long night.” He smirked at you.

After softly placing you on the bed, Ten pulled down your panties and kissed your inner thighs. He kissed his was to your already wet pussy and kissed it softly. You felt his tongue against your clit and you closed your eyes. He licked you so good and sucked on your clit, you were so close.

“Fuck, baby, It feels so fucking good.”

Ten fastened his pace and a couple seconds later you reached your first orgasm.

“Number one, more to go.” He said, his chin glistening with your arousal and turning you on.

You felt his fingers on your entrance and a second later he thrusted his fingers inside of you. His lips were on your nipples again and you gripped the sheets, his fingers slid in easily, you were so wet. “Fuck.” You could feel your second orgasm coming. “Tell me baby, what do you want?”

“I want to cum again- please Ten make me cum again.” You cried out.

You felt him go faster and when he hit that one spot, you reached your second orgasm. Ten put his fingers against your lips, “Suck.” He demanded and you sucked his fingers clean. “Good girl.”

“I want to suck you off- please Ten let me suck you off.” You begged him.

“Okay baby, show me how good you can take me inside of your mouth.” He pulled down his sweatpants and his boxers briefs and sat down on the edge of your bed. You got off the bed and got on your knees right in front of his hard cock.

You spat on your hand and wrapped your fingers around his shaft and started pumping slowly, “Don’t tease baby, or you’ll regret it.” He warned you.

You fastened your pace and started licking his tip. You licked on the slit, and slowly put his cock inside of your mouth. It’s not your first time sucking his cock, you knew what you had to do to make him feel good.

“Yeah just like that, feels so good baby.” He caressed your hair softly as you took him all the way down. His cock hit the back of your throat but you didn’t mind, you liked it actually and Ten loved it. “Fuck yes yes, just like that, love it so much.” He moaned out, you felt him twitch inside of your mouth.

You sucked his cock and softly played with his balls, you looked up and saw that he closed his eyes and bit his lip, eyebrows furrowed and face sweaty. You let out a moan after seeing him like that and the vibrations of your voice felt so good, he came. “Fuck, yes baby take it all and swallow.”

You did as he said, “Open up and show me.”

You opened your mouth and sticked your tongue out. “Good girl. Now baby, I want you to fucking ride me, okay baby?”

You nodded eagerly.

You sat down on his cock slowly and started riding him. It felt so good, you grabbed his shoulders to go faster. “T-Ten, I love your cock so much.” You cried out. Ten cupped your boobs and flicked your nipples, and you loved it when he played with your nipples. Ten wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you down so he could suck on your nipples. While he did that, he fucked up into you, meeting your hips. The sounds of your skin slapping against each other was like music to your ears.

“So fucking tight, didn’t I fuck this pussy enough?” you clenched at his words.

You felt your legs arching and you felt like you were collapse on top of him, “T-Ten I can’t p-please take over.” And he did.

Within a second he turned your around and took you from behind. You were on all fours as he stared ramming his cock inside of you. His hand found your clit and he started rubbing and circling it with his fingers. “Gonna cum baby? Hm? Cum all over my cock?”

“Y-Yes, fuck, feel so good. I’m so fucking close.”

You clenched once again and encouraged Ten to go even faster and harder with his thrusts. “I’m gonna fill you up, you’re going to take all of my cum, okay baby?”

“Yes please, cum in me.”

And with the next thrust, you came. You moaned as you clenched and rode out your third orgasm, you were so sensitive but it still felt good. You clenched around him once again and Ten came and painted your walls white.

“Fuck fuck fuck.” He moaned as he slowed down and pulled his cock out of you. He watched his cum mixed with yours drip out of you. “So fucking hot.” He got hard again.

That night, you had so many orgasms. His hands, his mouth and his cock bought you to heaven. He fucked you hard and fast but also slow and full of passion.

I used to think that love was just so easy But I couldn't be less right, yeah

“I’ll miss you so much.” You told him that night before he left.

“I’ll miss you too, but we’ll make this work. I trust in us. We’ll talk every day and text and I’ll come visit you and you’ll come visit me too.” Ten said convinced that long-distance was going to work.

“I love you so much, never forget that okay.”

It could work. You could make this work. You were absolutely sure that you and Ten could make a long-distance relationship work. He was your best friend before you started dating, he would never hurt you and you would never hurt him and you trust him with your life.

I'll be alright, just one more night I'll be just fine, holdin' my pillow Pretending it's you though I'll be alright, just one more night I'll be just fine, holdin' my pillow Pretending it's you though

It’s been almost two weeks since you last facetimed Ten. Yeah, you texted once in a while but it’s been so long since you talked and just be there for each other. You talked to him a month ago about feeling lonely and missing him and he promised you to make more time for you, but the last two weeks you barely talked.

You didn’t want to be clingy and suffocate him, so you waited for him to text you first. But every passing minute broke your heart more and more. You knew that he found new friends, but you would never doubt his faithfulness.

You closed your eyes and hugged your pillow tightly. Every night, you pretended that it was Ten you were hugging and not just your pillow. You missed his touch so much, you missed to kiss him and just hug him. You couldn’t take it anymore, you had to hear his voice. It was past midnight in New York but you didn’t care a t that moment.

“Yes?” you heard him yell. At least he answered.

“Ten? Can you hear me?” The other line was so loud, you raised your voice a little.

“What is it Y/n?! I’m busy!” you could hear loud music and people laughing around. “Busy? What are you doing?” it didn’t sound like he was busy.

“I’m out with some friends, look, I told you I’ll call you. Can’t you let me breathe for one day?” he said. Ten sounded annoyed and you could imagine how he rolled his eyes.

“It’s been two weeks since you said you’ll call! I let you breathe, but I was so worried, I just wanted to hear you voice-“

“You heard my voice, can I hang up now?”

You gasped, he sounded so cold, so annoyed and even distracted and before he could, you hung up.

You fell asleep crying. Once again.

Ten never apologized for that night and you never bought it up. It’s like talking to a wall. It took him a couple days to call you and he acted like that night never happened, like he never talked like he had enough of you.

The worst thing was yet to come.

Your one-year anniversary.

You reminded him one day before, that you would facetime, eat something together, watch a movie and just spend time together.

You waited and waited, but he never called.

You called him four times, texted him ten times, but he never answered and when you checked his Instagram story, you weren’t even surprised.

Ten was partying again. Ten ditched you to party on your one-year anniversary.

You realized that you were holding onto something that was long gone. It was over. It should be over. You were done with him, you were heartbroken and you regretted every decision you made. Maybe you should’ve stayed friends, maybe you would be happier and not suffering.  

And I can't lie, babe, I'm losing my patience Too much waiting for you Every time that I wake up My hands go where I'm waiting for you I know I say that I'm fine But I'm losing my mind Just need to hold you Don't take your time Oh, baby

The next day, you had fifteen missed calls from Ten, but you decided to ignore him for a while and sort your thoughts. He texted you every day, apologizing and asking for forgiveness. Ten told you about his day even though you never texted back. You hated to be like this, but you needed space. You called him one week later and he answered immediately.

“H-Hi.” Ten whispered nervously.

“Hey.” You mumbled.

“How… how have you been?” Ten wanted to punch himself. How could he ask you that? He knew that you were feeling sad.

“Okay I guess.” You tried to hold back you tears.

“Look about-“

“I can’t do this anymore.” You just said it. You’ve been thinking about it for the past months actually, but you never thought you would get to this point. You never thought you would want to break up.

“W-What? N-no, no no no please Y/n. Look I’m sorry, I’m s-so sorry that I missed our anniversary, but please don’t do this-“

“It’s not just the anniversary! Everything is too much for me. You ignore me and you yell at me for caring and being worried a-and you ditched me so many times and o-our anniversary- you, fuck, you were out having fun while I was waiting for you! You tell me that you’re going to call, but you never do and when I call you because I miss you, you yell at me and call me annoying!”

You didn’t want to cry, but it was so hard not to.

“I-I’m sorry. I am really so fucking sorry. Y-You didn’t deserve all that, I fucked up. I promised to be there for you b-but-“ he stopped. You could hear him sniff and try to hold back his tears. Ten rarely cried, like, you saw him cry maybe one time.

“But?”

“But I was so overwhelmed with this city and with this school and dancing. I can’t lose you. You’re my everything. I’ll change! I’ll be a better boyfriend, but please, don’t leave me.” He cried out.

“I-It’s not that easy. Y-You broke my heart. I trusted in us, b-but maybe we aren’t meant to be.”

“No, no. No, don’t say that- you know that’s not true, you know that I love you more than anything. You are the most important person in my life.”

“Seems like I’m not as important as you think I am. I don’t want to be the reason you stop focusing on what’s important and that’s your dance school. That’s New York and m-my feelings are important too. I… I can’t remember the last time I was genuinely happy. I’m sorry, Ten. I’m really sorry.”

And before he could start talking again, you hung up. You broke out in tears, you clutched your heart and tried to keep it from exploding, but you felt the little piece stab your insides. Ten wasn’t doing any better. He cried and cried and regretted all of his choices, he regretted leaving you and moving to New York. He regretted ignoring you, he regretted leaving you on read. He regretted everything. Oh, how he wished he could turn back time and be a better boyfriend. A boyfriend you deserve, someone who makes you feel loved and not someone who hurts you.  

I'll be alright, just one more night I'll be just fine, holdin' my pillow Pretending it's you though I'll be alright, just one more night I'll be just fine, holdin' my pillow Pretending it's you though

It’s been a couple days since you talked to Ten. You had blocked him everywhere and you tried to ignore the pain in your heart. It was harder to break up and block him, but it was the only way to stop your suffering. You couldn’t let him treat you like that forever.

You couldn’t focus on anything. It was almost like he followed you everywhere. One day your mother send you pictures of prom and Ten was your date. You went as friends but you just realized that he looked at you with so much love in his eyes. His arm was around your waist and you looked at each other and smiled brightly. Then, you wanted to watch some Netflix and Netflix recommended you Step up. A movie about dancing. How ironic. Even the number Ten made you so sad and emotional.

Almost a week later, you got ready for bed. You were brushing your teeth when you heard the doorbell. Who could it be at this hour? You tiptoed and looked through the spy. Your jaw dropped when you saw his face.

“I can hear you breathing. Please open the door, I want to see your face. I missed you so much.”

You slowly opened the door and looked at him with teary eyes, he was about to step closer but he stood still, his body froze and his heart hurt. You weren’t doing any better. It’s been a year since you saw his pretty face and now he was standing right in front of you. You wanted to hug him, kiss him, just pull him closer and never let go again, but you were also frozen.

“I-I can’t be without you. Tell me to stay and I will.” He said and he looked absolutely serious.

You pulled him closer and hugged him as tightly as you could. Ten wrapped his arms around you pressed kisses on your hair. “I’ll do it, I’ll leave New York and come back to you. I just need you. I love you so much, Y/n.”

You sobbed and cried and it was so hard to breathe but you couldn’t stop yourself from crying harder. “I love you too, but I don’t want you to do t-that. I don’t want you to stop living your dream. I love you so much, but I won’t let you do that.”

“B-But I don’t want to lose you.” Ten whispered and caressed your hair softly.  “Please forgive me, please. I was dumb, so fucking dumb. I didn’t realize how I treated you. I didn’t see that you were hurting and I promise you I’ll be better, I can’t lose you ever again. Please give me a second chance to make this right.”

You nodded and it felt so unreal to hold him in your arms. You waited for this moment for so long and he was finally in your arms. Seeing him helped you realize that you couldn’t be without him, that you needed your best friend, the love of your life.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you.”

You were cuddling under the blankets as Ten softly played with your hair, your head was on his chest. He also left kisses on your forehead, on your nose, on your lips, on every inch of your face and hands. Your hands were locked and he would never let go again.

“How did you even come? Don’t you have any classes to attend?” you asked him as you pecked his lips.

“I’ll just skip a few days, I won’t miss anything. Don’t worry about that.” He smiled softly.

Ten started drawing circles on your soft skin and you did the same on his chest. You looked up at him and pressed your lips on his, not just a simple peck. A kiss with so much longing and passion. A kiss to show him how much you missed him.

His hand slowly travelled to your waist and then to your ass. He squeezed it softly and pulled you on top of him, not breaking the kiss.

You moved your hips and his hands caressed the skin under your shirt. You broke the kiss for a second to get rid of your shirt. You weren’t wearing anything under your shirt and Ten cupped your breast with one hand and cupped your cheek with the other to kiss you again. He pinched your nipple and you let out a moan.

You could feel him slowly hardening and your hand found his belt. You unbuttoned his jeans and grabbed his shirt to take it off. You placed wet kisses on his chest and next thing you knew, you were under him.

Ten sucked on your boobs and pinched your nipples while he was busy pulling down your sweatpants and underwear. You were completely naked under him now and he kissed his way to your pussy. He parted your legs with his hands and you wanted to close them again, you were shy but then you remembered that this was Ten and you parted your legs even wider.

Ten softly kissed your pussy and then he ate you out like a starving man. He sucked on your clit and when he inserted two fingers inside of your wet cunt, you lost it. You tried to hide your moans but you couldn’t, your grip around the sheets tightened and you could see the stars, you can’t even remember the last time you had an orgasm, that’s why you came embarrassingly fast. You couldn’t hold back and came all over his fingers. “I’m cuming, fuck, feels so good.”

Ten didn’t stop playing with your clit, even after you came and you were so sensitive, you almost came again but he stopped and crawled back up to kiss you. “I love you.” He mumbled before he pulled his boxers down.

“I love you- so much.”

He was rock hard already and ready to be inside of you. He didn’t need you to suck him off, he just needed to be inside of you.

“I missed fucking you, I missed your tight little cunt so much.” And before you could answer that you missed him fucking you too, he rammed his cock inside of you. You moaned so loud, you hoped the neighbors wouldn’t hear you, but you wouldn’t hold back- you were feeling way too good to shut up.

“Fuck me, fuck me please.”

And he did.

Ten fucked you hard and fast, he gripped your hips tightly and fucked you deep, hitting the right spot and making you lose your mind. You clenched around him and he could feel himself getting closer. He looked you deep in the eyes and your boobs bounced up every time he moved his hips. He loved how fucked out you looked, so pretty and innocent.

“L-Let me ride you, please-“ you moaned out and who was he to refuse? He loved seeing you on top him.

You were riding him now, he gripped your hands again to thrust up. He couldn’t take away his eyes from your boobs or your face. You threw your head back, you felt your second orgasm nearing and feeling his hands on your boob, pinching your nipples turned you even more on.

“I’m gonna cum, gonna cum-“ and you came and Ten couldn’t hold back and he shot his cum inside of you. “Fuck, you feel so fucking good.”

You moved your hips to ride out your orgasms and you collapsed on top of him. Ten pulled his cock out of your cunt and then he got up to bring a warm towel to clean you up. After he was done cleaning you up, he got into bed and pulled you up to his chest. You were naked under the covers but you didn’t mind, his body was warm and cozy.

“I love you.” He placed a kiss on your temple.

“I love you too.” And you fell asleep in the arms of the love of your life.

Your relationship was even stronger than before. After Ten left for New York again, you were scared that it wouldn’t work out, but it did. He was always there for you and you were always there for him. You visited him on Valentine’s day and he visited you on your birthday. Your love grew and before you could realize that you’ve been dating for three years, you were packing your stuff to move out of your apartment.

Yes, you were moving to New York, to your boyfriend and you’ve been thinking about this for months now and it was the best decision you’ve ever made. You’re living with your best friend, who became your boyfriend, in New York City.

Baby (14:24): SPOTTED! The love of my life in Starbucks, with an iced coffee in her hand. Who is she waiting for? Perhaps her boyfriend? Stay tuned. XOXO gossip girl.

You laughed out loud in Starbucks as you read the text Ten just sent you. You laughed a little too loud, a couple looked at you and you apologized for laughing so loud.

Ten entered Starbucks and kissed you on the lips. “Babe, gossip girl? Really?” you giggled and wrapped your arms around him. “You know you love me.”

And that was the truth. “You’re right.”

[sirthisisa-wendys]

(okay hol' up, i just followed you recently despite visiting your blog for over a month now, but you followed me back and i'm short-circuiting) Congrats on 1K! Thought I'd send in an idea for the event - something lukewarm for Priest!Toji and a Witch!Reader? I'm thinking 1600s trial vibes but I know whatever you write will be dope <3

You said 1600's trial vibes and I heard the ghost of Victor Hugo go "hey you remember that one book I wrote" and I said "uh wasn't that set in the 1400s, though" and he said "mmmkay, so? you gonna write this shit or not?"

So here I am.

Bewitched: Preist!Toji Fushiguro x Witch!Fem!Reader

wc: 1.1k

tw: NSFW

1K Follower Event Masterlist

"Recite verses from the Holy Book, take the sacrament, and I will let you go."

You turn your head away from the priest, who is holding out the cracker and wine.

"I cannot do that. It is a--"

"Against your religion!" The priest finishes for you, throwing the wine and cracker onto the floor. You flinch, feeling the wine splatter the tips of your bare toes. "And why have you given your soul to the devil? What does he hold over you that cannot be forgiven by God?" The broad-chested man reaches a hand out to touch your chin with his crooked index finger, but you step back, keeping your eyes on the stone floor of the chapel.

"I have not sold my soul to the devil," you reply, gripping your hands by your sides. "I am not a dark witch."

"Please do not tell me you think there good witches or bad witches," he laughs, stepping over the mess he just made and advancing upon you in the robes befit for a holy king. "A witch is a witch. And you will be hung or burned at the stake if I say so."

"Then kill me," you gripe. "But you will suffer the wrath of a thousand others if you do."

"You are ill," he pleads with you, his green eyes searching your face earnestly. "Come, be saved by the power of God and--"

"Your god does not exist," you retort, but you can't seem to catch the hand that strikes out at your face. You stumble against a pew, bringing a hand up to your face.

"Blasphemy! Repent, witch, or you will burn in Hell for eternity!"

I've got one last trick, you think to yourself. One last option. But I would be breaking my own rules to do it. The priest continues to advance on you, and you muster up the last bit of magic you can to cast a final spell. You don't even need to speak, the thought of the old words is enough.

At first, you don't think the spell has taken effect, but when the priest stops and blinks three times, you inhale deeply, hoping the effect of the love spell is strong enough to save you.

The priest stares at you for a long time before exhaling shakily, clasping his hands together. "I would be remiss if I did not permit you to take sanctuary here for the evening," he finally murmurs, mesmerized. "You are welcome to stay in the comfort of my chambers." He swallows hard, and you nod, silently thanking your magic for the quick solution.

_____________________________________________________________

"Shall I call for someone to light the fireplace? I would hate for you to catch a chill."

"I'm fine," you whisper, curling under the sheets in the large four-poster bed. "Thank you." The priest has changed out of his vestments, now clothed in simple pair of pants, and his black hair is visible, laying against his forehead as he settles into the chair beside the bed.

There are only three other women in your situation - witches who have bewitched priests who sought to murder them. You vowed as a young witch to never put yourself in this situation, for the risk of the spell not working was higher than the reward of it actually taking effect in the way you want it to. But it seems this priest already had wavering faith, which strengthened the hold of your magic on him. He looks at you with a lost puppy gaze, the scar on his lips parting as he drinks in your visage in his bed.

"Your scar," you whisper, reaching your hand out to touch it. "Where did you get it from?" The priest kisses your fingers, then murmurs,

"A witch scarred me as a child when she attacked my family." You hum, frowning.

"I am sorry to hear that. Such a malicious act for no reason..." The brutish man leans into your palm, and you stroke his face as he sighs.

"May I join you in the bed? Feel free to say no."

"You may." In the waning light of the sun, the priest climbs into the bed with you, wrapping a strong arm around your figure.

Before he blows the candles out, he whispers, "Goodnight, my love."

And the lights go out.

_____________________________________________________________

Your hips bang against the dresser as Toji rocks into you, his muscled body hovering above yours.

"Excellent... sermon today," you moan, leaning your head back. You don't really think it was an excellent sermon, but his infatuation grows stronger every single time you praise him.

"Enough about that," he whispers, leaning down to kiss you. "I love coming back to your embrace. You're so perfect..."

For the past three months, you've been living in the church and carrying on a relationship with the priest inside. And you have to admit, beyond his staunch and unmoved exterior, Toji is softer than you ever imagined he would be.

"I'm gonna cum..." he whispers, bracing himself for the sensation. "Oh, my--" The hiss Toji lets out is divine, and the feeling of his cock twitching inside of you is just as amazing.

"Toji, that feels so good..." you moan, and he laughs, kissing down your neck.

"You love it when I cum inside of you, huh?" You nod, kissing him again as he carries you to the bed, covering you with the sheets and smoothing your hair away from your face. "I love you."

"I love you, too," you admit, touching his face before curling up and drifting off to sleep.

But you awake in the middle of the night, and upon finding the other side of the bed cold, you sit up and look around the room. "Toji?" You slide out of bed, feeling the stickiness between your legs but ignoring it and wrapping yourself in a shirt discarded on the floor. You open the doors to your shared chambers and walk through the church, peeking around every corner and even daring to look in the confessional box. But there's nothing.

And then you hear a soft whispering, and you creep into the main sanctuary, seeing Toji kneeling at the altar. You hold your breath to hear him better, and you pick up the words,

"Forgive me, Lord, for lying with a witch... I cannot be parted from her, and she believes she has cast a spell upon me... and in essence she has. But I am sure if I remain by her side, she will be converted and--" You turn quickly and rush back to your chambers, sliding back into the bed, shaking.

No, you hadn't truly escaped. Your magic hadn't worked.

Toji had bewitched you, and now, you couldn't leave him.