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#god I am not mormal
gxilds · 2 years
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chishiya <3 i have brain worms
SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2
so i’ve been thinking a lot about what he said in his little monologue about how he resented and envied people for having the things he lacked. a heart? morals? belief in the inherent value of life, justice and selflessness? all the above? i’ve been thinking a lot if this is the kind of person he’s drawn to? what if someone who fights to stay soft and kind and idealistic? how infuriating it would be for him. just some thoughts, because as you can see i’m very normal about him
If I am being honest I have not finished s2 but I am an avid manga reader and I know exactly what you mean and it’s almost 12 am and I am brain rotted.
I imagine he unintentionally gravitates to people who fight to stay hopeful (for example, Arisu) and to him that’s infuriating not because it can be obnoxious for him but because he is jealous.
Chishiya doesn’t have a light in his life and he’s dealt with a lot of issues with the people he thought should be caring for him just not doing that. Despite not wanting to admit this, or at least tell other people about it, he constantly is subconsciously compensating by being around people that can depend on him and provide him with care. I imagine he really needs a friend (or more, you decide) who grew up with similar familial issues and had that same dynamic of being neglected but instead takes that energy and turns it into helping others and being kind which is something he isn’t particularly good at. while this said person might be one of the most kind and caring people on the planet with an ambitious career, this man is a skilled yet absolutely terrible doctor because he really just doesn’t give a fuck about who he is taking care of.
as for how he responds? not well. it makes him want to rip out his hair and claw at his skin because how can someone who’s been through the exact same thing and been put through the ringer have such an optimistic outlook, be so kind, lovely, respectful and full of life? why can’t he have that? why can’t he have the will to see another day? why can’t he care about his and other peoples qualities of life? Why can’t he be them? he wants everything that they have, even if under all those layers of care is the exact same situation he’s been through.
I think in the end it could change his “if no one cared for me, why should I care about them?” mindset even more. I know he has a change of heart again but I believe someone like that, especially one who wouldn’t give up on him, would be such a huge catalyst to that change. Not only would be leaving the borderlands rejuvenated but also ecstatic to be alive and with a deeper understanding of people.
we see this already too with Arisu (mind you the long analysis I have about Chishiya representing indifference from trauma and Arisu representing leniency from the same is stocked up on my acc somewhere probably) Arisu is a main catalyst in Chishiya’s change in heart because of what Arisu represents so I have a feeling someone who is like cracked out Arisu would not only change Chishiya, despite the jealousy, but in the end would make him happier as a person.
Please I need to desperately write more Chishiya stuff cause I have so many ideas about how this could go LORDDDDD HAVE MERCY
I am also not sure if I should finish s2 because of some changes I heard about and I am so not normal about chishiya to the point I would stop watching over it… not to be dramatic or whatever
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aesterblaster · 6 months
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Today I'm thinking about Yuu Bachira again.....Thinking about helping her set up her first art exhibit. I'm thinking about beating up her ex husband for her and the way her eyes are probably a nice yellow just like Meguru. I'm thinking about cheering for him with her while watching Blue Lock TV.....you want to be Meguru Bachiras S/O or friend, I want to be his step-parent. We aren't the same.
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mejomonster · 1 year
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What is it about internal pain that hurts so much more than external pain :c
#rant#asterisk here that i think some people find external pain hurts more#just like. man. i can walk off a tackle. i can limp away with a bruise the size of my head#i dont even feel a slice across my skin externally after a second#which is why i dont realize oh shit i have a cut till i shower later and find a 10 inch long cut down my calf oops#but. internal? god my internal pain SO bad a muscle relaxer. a nerve pain med#and max dose ibprofen and tylenol dont do SHIT#pain so bad that when the pain stops i literally fall s#asleep wherever i am cause the pain relief is so Nice my body is exhausted and just goes to sleep at the chance#i wish bodies let me TURN THE INTERNAL PAIN OFF#like YES body! you alerted me! i get it! im injured somewhere inside! stop telling me now!#its hard to treat it when simply existing hurts so fucking much!#anyway my backs been 8-9/10 pain for a month now and i did ab exercises yesterday#in a desperate attempt to relieve pain after lidocaine patch and muscle relaxer and ibprofen didnt help#and i woke up today at 6 am to period cramps.#and somehow. those period cramps hurt MORE then my back pain#to the point my body didnt even register the back pain. then i took ibprofen for the period#(and 800 mg worked eventually thank fuck) and now i feel the backpain nonstop again great -.-#(to be fair i have. excessively bad period cramps mormally. like make you wanna chainsaw off your abdomen#downward bad level cramps. scream for an hour in super hot bath water with 800 mg ibprofen and a muscle#relaxer pain levels. ToT
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keeper-not-hero · 6 months
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listen i like be'lakor, i am a be'lakor enjoyer. He needs to stay in AoS where he has actual fucking lore and actually does things. Vashtorr however needs the treat of getting their own faction because my god have you seen them
I HAVE AND I LOVE MY BOYYYYYYYY And yeah, ngl Be'lakor and most demon princes kinda fit AoS / Fantasy more than 40k. I mean the Demon Primarchs are like, prime 40k, but idk a dude with a mormal ass sword just doesn't really fit, even if he is a giant demon.
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vyeoh · 3 years
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I'M NOT SCOTT SMAJOR THE ONLY INTERACTION I'VE HAD WITH SCOTT SMAJOR WAS WHEN HE BECAME MY TUMBLR MUTUAL. I AM NOT SCOTT SMAJOR. I AM A NORMAL PERSON. I HOPE YOU DIE. I HOPE WE BOTH DIE.
He has a tumblr account now yall can stop accusing me of being his alt 😭😭
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princeofyorkshire · 3 years
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girls it’s that time of the month! you know what it means! i’m having 💖 a depressive episode 🙏🏻🤣
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smuttyfairy · 7 years
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Well, not really. When it comes to sleeping, we're like nature. We need time to recover in order to our mormal self, so when we sleep we just take different forms. More exactly, we're in a dreamy state, but still conscious and still alive. The difference is that she'll keep doing this for eternity, but we won't.
Oh my god that probably sounded like such a stupid questionI AM SO SORRYBut thank you for entertaining my stupidity-Admin Kookfairy
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