#goblin mall wizard

[dsinkerii]

dude, back when i used to be a tadpole my dad played this cool crawley game on his n64, sad it got lost but heres' the crawley himself from that game

[whereserpentswalk]

There's a cult that practices a strange and dark magic. They're strange, even to other wizards and sorcerers. They let in all beings, from mortals, to experienced mages, to demons and angels lost from the underworld, to the last of the goblins and orcs who still wander the dark woods of North America.

The cult is very secretive, and they fear the names of all gods. Their holy places are abandoned buildings, not even churches most of the time, abandoned stores, abandoned towns, abandoned malls. The type of place that cryptids would go to. And if you find them, they'll let you engage in their one and only ritual, silently, without ever talking to another member.

Their ritual is thus. They'll place a machine on your head, a strange thing made from wyrm intestines, and faerie bones, and old computer parts that nobody uses, and scrap metal, and chewed wires. And they'll turn it on over your head, and there you'll see everything, all the things from countless souls and countless planes, for as long as you wish.

But there is a catch. The machine decides exactly what to show you. Perhaps, if it wishes to impress you, it'll show you distant lands, and great creatures, and forgotten knowledge. That's useally the type of thing it'll show you at first. But it'll show you other things too. Glimpses of other people's lives perhaps, to give you a vague hint at someone you wish to know. Something shocking and disgusting that you'll never forget. Things that make you sad and worried. Perhaps even the tense nothingness of an empty dimension if it needs it.

See, the machine does not care about how you feel. It wants one thing, to never be put down forever, and to remain on your head as long as you want. It's not the only machine in the cult, every member has their own. And it'll show you things that make you afraid to take it off, warnings of coming dangers without a way to stop it, but it'll tell you to keep watching to know more if you want to be safe. It'll show you tragedy and people in pain, and tell you it's your fault for not paying attention, and denying the victims their right to have their assault watched, it won't tell you what could help them. If you could help you might be satisfied, but keep watching, you wouldn't look away like some sort of heartless monster. And it'll show you people who are better than you, people, real or half real, who'd shame you for not being like them, who want to tell a failure like you how to act, who need you to keep watching them or else your the fool. Just keep watching.

It'll show you whatever you want, though never let you interact. And eventually it'll tell you to do things more directly, if it trusts you, and soon you may be a priest of the machine cult. More and more are worn every day. More and more people are tuning into to the eternal broadcast.

[fanartbyherd]

Onward updates

So I have been working that world building rework. I just wanted to do some general update information before I start uploading the pictures and such.

Once again this is a project where I elaborate on the information that is provided in the movie. Then on things that are not in the movie but things I could find in deleted scenes and extra materials. Finally there is things I added either due to it made sense with the idea of “things you would find in an 80s fantasy novel” or things I found rooting around in the fandom (those places of dread I rarely venture /j) .

Cannon- things that are seen, said, or implied by the film itself (Intended or unintentionally).

- Elves: I counted 9 elves in the old time, and 189 elves in modern times. They seem to have a Vikings and barbarians thing going on.

- Cyclops: 4 cyclops in the old days, and 80 in the modern day. There is an illustration in the background of cyclops wearing Roman like armor. Also there apparently exists something called the cyclops islands from a poster in one of the class rooms.

- Sayter: 32 for old times, 139 for the modern time making them the second most populous in the modern day and age.

-Trolls: 3 in the past, but 23 in the present.

-Goblins: 11 in times of yore and 48 in the modern day. They do appear to have their own language. Making them the only group that do not only speak English.

- Gnomes: 7 in opening, but 63 in the modern era.

- Centaurs: 40 centaurs where running in that herd at the opening of the film. But in the modern day there where only 4 I saw. One was officer colt. And I only saw one guy who was casually hanging out in the background. The rest where in that opening times change montage.

-Mermaids: I counted 14 mermaids in the past. Meanwhile the only mermaid I saw for the modern era was 1. The one that shows up in the promotional material.

-pixies: 6 where seen in the past and 45 in the modern day. All except one where members of the pixie dusters.

-manticores: we only see one in the movie. That is corri. Apparently she is a thousand years old and only middle aged for her species… which I think seems like a bit excessive.

-skeken: ok seriously what is this thing? Apparently this is what the pawnshop owner is. There’s only one of her and for my understanding of Everything she is a hybrid of some kind. When o first saw the movie I thought she was a goblin.

If my assumption of her being a hybrid is correct that means I saw a total of two hybrids in the film. Her, and a little cyclop/sayter girl in line at the plain scene in the opening.

Animals

- song birds of various types

- beetles, at least three species purple, mycenmind, and green.

- slimes, jelly cube

- two headed ravens/ eagles. Three headed raven.

-krakens

- dragons

-griffons

-Horned owl

- hydra

-snail

-crane

-giant spider

-unicorns, Pegasi, and alicorns (or as me and my sister like to call them, unipegs)

—————

Cannon Adjacent- things either implied to exist, or shown to exist in delete scenes, cut content or in extra materials.

- Sirens: have alluring songs. Show up in a deleted scene.

- Minotaurs: show up in concept art and in some extra materials. Where intended to be mall cops of the labyrinth. I got to say I do not like the design of them in the concept art. So I have changed it to fit my own aesthetic sense abilities.

- pixies: though not seen in extra materials such as bonus features. The fact that the pixie dusters are called pixie dusters implies that they know about the consept of pixies.

- unidentified teddy bear deer.

-Giant Bat?

- bog beast.

——————

Extras- material that I feel fits

- lamia: cat like centaurs. They can have scales. They are basically extinct.

- werewolves: no shapeshifting. They are related to the sayters.

- vampires: mutant elves. They have bat wings.

- fairies: mutant elves, they are incapable of being wizards but have wings.

- imps: mutant elves native to volcanic areas. Inspired by the ocs of the fandom.

- harpies- man so just a quick search over onward fan OCs there’s a lot of winged elves in the search results. Angel looking things. But I think adding angels would be inappropriate with the “80 trash fantasy novel” so I added harpies instead.

- sphinxes- manticores and sphinxes are relatively similar in concept.

- selkies: there are two kinds selkies. Selkies are sometimes called sea wolfs, sometimes called the sayters of the sea.

-Gargoyles: relatives of the goblins. They have wings that they use for gliding. Also ripping off another Disney property. They originated as hybrids of trolls and goblins

- Gremlins: hybrids of gnomes, and goblins.

- capercorns: occurs when a sayter and a mermaid, silkie or siren have a kid together. Also with cyclops and those combinations.

This is the different species I will be showcasing in my re-work I have also made elaborations on cultures, history, interspecies relations.

As my previous post outlined the lack of diversity for a film that wanted diversity.

Hopefully I go a half decent job as I don’t intend to spend a lot of time on this project.

[cake-apostate]

Four Akiras in a Trenchcoat AU: Envy and Violet

[The premise of this AU is that Akira Kurusu of Persona 5 is his timeline’s version of Akira from SMT4. Before the start of the game, Big Bad had Black Mask kill “that stupid kid” out of sheer pettiness, leaving Akira an empty shell. To salvage their Wild Card, the Velvet Room drags in four parallel versions of him: Blasted Akira, Infernal Akira, the late King Akira, and Anarchy Nanashi. The four of them possess Joker’s empty shell.]

Given that the Four are the same person who made different decisions, I wonder if they’d relate to Violet? I can see how they could envy one another, especially since they could have been one another. 

Infernal Akira envies their character. He could have been clever like King Aquila, decisive and unrelenting like Nanashi, but most of all, he could have been charismatic and levelheaded like Blasted. He knows that he’s cowardly, weak, that he backs down and makes other people do the work for him. “Why couldn’t I be strong like them?”

Blasted Akira envies their circumstances. The other Tokyos had most of their resources unspoiled, and Mikado is a prosperous country. He envies Infernal Akira most of all, because there’s so much untapped potential with a completely unnuked Tokyo and Demonoids abound. Meanwhile, he’s stuck in a radioactive desert where God wants everyone dead. “Why couldn’t I be lucky like them?”

Nanashi envies their charisma. He knows full well how fickle public adoration can be, but there’s something about how the Samurai of Mikado were reluctant to break King Aquila’s code, how he was so beloved that the angels tried to erase his legacy. He’s jealous of how everyone looks up to Blasted, how no Demonoid wants to usurp Infernal because he’s doing such a good job as king. Nanashi sacrificed his bonds for the greater good, not because they were worthless. “Why am I alone at the end of my road?”

King Aquila, most of all, envies their potential. He’s long dead, and he saw how he failed. His legacy was misread, the kingdom he built waged war on his homeland, and right when he thought everything would turn out fine, some idiot monk starts wreaking havoc to the point where Nanashi murdering literally everyone in his kingdom is considered a mercy kill. “Why can they still change the world?”

Spoilers for the third semester

Since they all could have been one another, the Four understand how Sumire feels inferior to her own twin sister. After her cooldown, they wind up going to dinner and swapping stories about how they felt like they each got the short end of the stick. Also Akechi is along for the ride. 

Also, the new reality. I was thinking that the Four woke up during the third semester not because they had no desires, but because the new reality wasn’t built to handle their situation.

I was thinking that there’s got to be someone out there with a seriously outlandish wish, like, “I want to be a space ranger,” or, “I want to be a wizard.” I think the system usually deals with those by separating their perception from everyone else’s; for example, if Mr. Akiyama the salaryman wants to be a fantasy hero, he’ll see a mall as a goblin cave, while the shoppers see a small cute child waving around a toy sword.

King Aquila sees Tokyo as Mikado because his wish is the chance to fix Mikado, but the other three see Tokyo as Tokyo. Once they realize that he’s not seeing the same things as them, they argue over who’s hallucinating.

The next crack is Nanashi’s desire to be loved. Whether he wants to be worshiped or simply liked, he’s still a god and lots of people declaring their undying love for him qualifies as worship. Suddenly he gains the power to perform divine miracles, which is a huge crack in their ‘normal’ world. I’m not entirely sure if this is in character, but I do think that it would be hilarious.

Also, Nanashi finds the whole reality to be fake not because it’s poorly constructed, but because there’s a huge disconnect between his idea of normal and the current Tokyo. 

Blasted and Infernal’s wishes don’t really conflict with the reality; Blasted wants prosperity and glory, while Infernal wants to be strong, brave, and just. They break out anyways because when they all start arguing over what’s real and what’s not, they end up punching holes in each other’s ideal worlds to the point where the whole illusion shatters.

[lex1nat0r]

White Elephant: The Core of the Problem

AAR #09

Session report from my ongoing Lancer campaign.

Characters (LL 1):

Raiju (They/Them, Hacker 2/Ace/Centimane, Barbarossa 1) - GMS Everest - Delta (Player not present this session)

Sunshine (They/Them, Grease Monkey/Technophile/Engineer/Juggernaut, Pegasus 1) - GMS Everest - Exchange of Affection

Rook (He/Him, Walking Armory/Stormbringer/Brutal, Balor 1) - GMS Everest - Not Fun By Myself (Player not present this session)

Daylight (She/Her, Technophile 2/Crack Shot/Infiltrator, Vlad 1) - GMS Everest - Hits Different

Magpie (They/Them, Hacker 2/Technophile 2, Goblin 1) - GMS Everest - General Protection Fault

NHPs:

Molotov - Via Sunshine’s Technophile talent - Projects as a small velociraptor - unshackled

Willow - Via Daylight’s Technophile talent - Projects as 1-2 squid - unshackled

Murgatroid - Via Magpie’s Technophile talent - Projects as a wizard? - shackled

Prev session writeup

Raiju and Rook split off from the main group to help get more of the vast cloning facility under control. The other three made it to the computer core, encountering Security Chief Haase in THUNDER KING, the most mall ninja chassis imaginable, trying to smash up the core supported by NHP-controlled units delegated to the Security Chief. Haase doesn't seem in the mood for talking, so the lancers have to get kinetic in order to preserve whatever data's in the core.

Combat 2.2: Heavy Metal Thunder

Sitrep: King of the Hill (Enhanced Combat)

OPFOR:

THUNDER KING (Ultra Demolisher - Kinetic Compensation / Superior Frame / Repulsion Field)

RPV Engineer Grunt x 2

RPV Support

Outcome: PC Victory

(Tokens by Retrograde Minis (on the basic blank hex tokens that come with Lancer so they show up well), map by Interpoint Station’s pixel art assets, VTT is Roll20)

I've been following the template for combats laid out in the Lancer modules, designing enemy comps for 3/4/5 PCs, so dropping down to 3 lancers for this session wasn't a problem. The win was close, with Puppet System from H0R_OS System Upgrade I coming in clutch at the end.

I hadn't anticipated how deadly an Ultra Demolisher would be - the multiple activations from Ultra mean that it can cross the board frighteningly quickly, and at LL1 that hammer is very close to doing a Structure per hit (and THUNDER KING hit a lot). Good to know that an Ultra Demolisher is a viable threat, at least at tier 1.

Rules quibble: I don't think the Grunt template mentions anywhere that drones deployed from a Grunt only have 1 HP, so RAW there's some ambiguity over whether a Grunt Engineer's turrets have 5 HP or 1. Common sense dictates that the turrets only have the 1 HP (explained in-fiction by the Drone-type Recluse models popping bits of themselves off that become the turrets), but it might be fun to have Grunts that are themselves easy to kill but which can choke the board with more durable deployables if left alone (maybe they have some kind of teleport homer).

King of the Hill is a functional sitrep, but it ended up a little too static for me. With some more confidence in the system I'd maybe brew up an NPC type that can inflict more forced movement on PCs to get people bouncing around the board more. Maybe swap out the Support for a Mirage with Metafold Shove. Maybe make it so there's sitrep-specific NPCs around the board that need to be taken out before the PCs can rush the objective. King of the Hill was good for this narrative situation, and I certainly enjoyed having the unstoppable force of a Demolisher to threaten the point, but I don't think it offers a whole lot over a regular Holdout as it stands.

With THUNDER KING locked out of access to the computer core and the combat stims wearing off, Security Chief Haase powers down and surrenders.

Next time: Bringer of Fire?

[underdome-times]

Steward-Bot Remodel: Why it’s Not a Big Deal

I’m Sax Jellybean, your goblin on the ground.

My reporting today has led me to the wonderful Huxley Mall on Busk. Recently the mall changed their primary model of steward-bot to match the payment model of the shops. It’s simple: instead of taking out money and paying for it yourself, it just scans your bio-signs and takes money directly from your bank!

For shops, this means walking into a store and walking out with whatever you want. Easy as that! Don’t even have to have your card on you.

Some people say that this shouldn’t be applied to the tic-tac shaped bots that follow you around because they “don’t ask permission before performing a service” or “calculate their own gratuity” but you really can’t live with that mentality! These robots work hard and are cute as can be. Do you want them to be out of work? I didn’t even think to tip them before. I really don’t get why anyone would be so against this change.

Now, I’m off to get my copy of “Level One Wizard in 30 Days.” I’ve heard it’s actually really easy!

I’ve been Sax Jellybean, your goblin on the ground.

Editor’s note by Province Harris: First, this is not a paid sponsorship by the Huxley Corporation. Second, it was noted by Mr. Jellybean after the fact that he was charged 137 gold for the steward-bots services that included directions, compliments, and attempted shoe-shining. This is contrasted against the 50 gold he paid for his book, which he is struggling with.

[zatclaire]

Some may say I have too many. They are wrong. (Also I'm bad at naming things so bear with me)

Top to bottom, left to right we have

The Mushlings (who I think are all collectively Celia) are from AbiToads' Makeship campaigns. The one furthest right glow in the dark!

Gianni Matragrano's Smileybomb (Makeship)

Shadie the Gengar (Build-a-Bear)

The Bupcube was a limited run from Simpleflips

Gobert the Wizard Goblin from one of Jocat's Makeship campaigns

Sue. She's from a claw machine in a mall in Florida

Voice Quills' sona (Makeship)

A Pikachu from Dave and Busters (he's the oldest!)

Frogge from Luke Correia (Makeship)

Maxie the Teddiursa (Build-a-Bear)

Virginia Arnoldson from The Monument Mythos (Makeship)

And a sleepy Jirachi plush whose tassels glow in the dark! You can get it from the Pokemon Center website but I got mine from Meccha Japan along with a Magnemite earring and a Litwick earring.

Everyone stfu about polyamory and monogamy stfu stfu and START POSTING UR PLUSHIES

[valravnocs]

here he is!!! my MagiQuest ‘sona, Schmendrick! (x, x, x)

I recently got back into MagiQuest and thought it would be fun to turn my MQ profile into a fully-fleshed out OC with some backstory! Schmendrick was named for + heavily inspired by the character from The Last Unicorn, and has been my Magi name since I first played at the Mall of America.

Schmendrick is 28 years old and of the Trixter clan, and he’s achieved the rank of Master Magi! His wand is the classic black body with a shadow skull topper (it defeats the red and silver dragons in one shot, in the actual game). He’s closest to Lokari, when he visits the outside world (Schmendrick has a bit of a crush), and he also has great respect for Carren. They saw each other fairly often while growing up due to their respective families’ paths crossing (he grew up with traveling performers from the Mystic Village). He’s also close to Candice and often goes to her for advice, she’s somewhat of an older sister to him (her quests are how he recharges his topper’s power).

He lives in the Whispering Woods in a little encampment, too used to traveling to really settle down yet. Thanks to Candice’s encouragement, he’s currently studying potions as his main Master Quest. His most utilized runes are the Dazzle, Music, and Protection (he’s a performer at heart); he keeps all three secured to his wand belt, alongside the amulet he got from aiding a unicorn. This amulet is one of his most cherished belongings, alongside a lute that was gifted to him by his adopted parents, and a pair of goggles Lokari gave him for his first journey through the portals. He has a strong dislike of goblins and spiders, and can’t stand to be in Ironhold for any extended amount of time.

As far as Schmendrick’s personality goes, he has the carefree, mischievous spirit of all Trixter Magi, though this has mellowed somewhat as he journeyed and grew. He can be somewhat sarcastic, which gets worse when he’s around Lokari (they play off each other a little too well)— he’s also careful to never take things too far (Lokari can definitely be meaner). He’s very kind to children and animals, and has a strong affinity for mystical creatures. Schmendrick likes to play music for the pixies, which has definitely led to the creation of quite a few fairy rings. Though he may outwardly appear stubborn and even sometimes callous, he cares very deeply about his friends and ultimately wants to get the most fun he can out of life (it’s too short to waste even a moment!)

Schmendrick dresses in mostly blues, creams and browns, preferring shirts with loose, puffy sleeves and warm, flowing capes. He knows how to sew himself from his youth in the Mystic Village (most of his clothes are handmade out of habit). He always wears a pair of embossed leather riding boots that were a gift from Candice, and a necklace that was gifted to him by his birth mother. He has a floppy black wizard’s hat that he wears when traveling, with a blue/purple galaxy lining— it was a collective gift from his family from the Mystic Village. He also has a black and silver wand belt with a holster, pouch, multiple straps for holding potions, and places to hang his amulets!

I’ve got more detailed notes on his history under the cut!

Born in Breakhame to Portal Nomads, Schmendrick’s parents spent time in the Mystic Village while he was young. When he was old enough, his parents decided he should choose whether to join them in the Nomads’ airships or stay in the in the Village. He chose to stay, and he holds no ill will towards his parents— they would visit him whenever their ships crossed paths with the performers. Schmendrick first began collecting runes at seventeen, while visiting the castle for Candice’s birthday. Captivated by the quest stones, he felt a pull to begin his first adventure away from his home amongst the carnival performers he’d grown up with.

He has since reached the rank of Master Magi, aided the Pixies and fought the Goblin King, and begun his studies as a Master. He first studied the Creativity Rune, and upon being awarded it Schmendrick turned his focus to potions. It was Candice’s encouragement and her own passion that drove his decision, and he greatly enjoys himself (though it’s a more academic pursuit than he normally likes). He can often be found wandering the woods and playing music with the pixies and other creatures when not studying; he hasn’t lost his Trixter spirit or the need to wander, simply staying closer to the castle and quest stones now.

Schmendrick first met Lokari when the Questmaster called on them both for help defending a portal from the Shadow Master’s minions. He thought the portal master was gorgeous from the moment he laid eyes on him, and always looked forward to Lokari’s visits to the real world. Schmendrick was somewhat nervous to venture into the virtual world, though with some coaxing he has been known to explore it with Lokari for a short vacation. Lokari won’t admit it out loud, but he’s often grateful for Schmendrick’s potions (projectile spells in liquid form are pretty damn cool, and it makes healing a lot easier too). Schmendrick hasn’t worked himself up to admitting his crush to Lokari, but maybe someday…

(I did blend some 2.0 lore with Legacy lore, even tho I’ve only ever played Legacy I do think some of the lore from 2.0 is interesting! Legacy will always have my heart though)

[dapper-nahrwhale]

Who are your top 5 Dimension 20 PCs? (If you had to choose😁)

Oohohoh v good one , they are honestly all my faves, but if I had to pick one from each campaign I've seen so far, it would be:

1. Riz, out of all the fh pcs I love them so much but riz!!!!! Is absolutely my favorite I love this funky sneaky nerd goblin so much!

2. Cody, look I'm not caught up all on tuc2 but I love the dum unhinged mall goth hes so terrible its hilarious and the Murph rolls are extra bad for him the irony

3. Cheese from pirates of leviathan, hes just a littol funky necromancer wizard what's not to love, I adore every pc on pirol tho so

4. Kugrash was one of my favorite pcs just!!! So good, this is tuc again but since its season 1 it counts separately hmm

5. Every single other pc I love them too much I cant pick another!

Haven't seen acoc, bloodkeep or tiney heist yet tho so that's why those aren't on there

(Ask me my top 5/ top 10 faves of anything!)

[usagi-zakura]

Drew all my DnD-Characters playing DnD... Their characters are just regular human being living their lives in suburbia, going on quests that may take them to the mall to get the latest video games or going to school.

Exiting stuff I know. 

At first I was planning to leave out the oneshot-characters but that meant the entire table would be filled with kobolds... I don’t have a problem, it just happened that way... so I added some more too. (After finishing I remember I did forget one character... but I don’t want to add in another now... it was my fluffy tabaxi-ranger who died in a TPK during our first session of Mines of Phandelver...to goblins...)  

The DM is my tabaxi druid Animal in the Woods because she has the highest intelligence score... besides the wizard but given his personality I don’t think anyone would want him as DM. 

At her left sits Dott the kobold ranger, who’s wolf Ttod decided her dice looked very tasty... 

Next to her is Elani the birdragon ranger. 

Then there’s Renard the vulpine wizard (Humblewood race) and his pet weasel Chester. 

On Wood’s right side sits Aestra the kobold sorcerer, who’s character recently died so she’s trying to make a new one. Her mouse Mikki is eating her old sheet.

Then there’s Pip the Jerbeen Rogue. Also Humblewood race. 

Next to Pip is Jaz the kobold bard and his raven familiar Henry. Ravens can mimic sounds they’ve heard to a certain degree, and Henry’s been listening to Jaz use “Vicious Mockery” on several occasions... and now spews insults at random, having no clue what the words actually means.

At the end of the table sits Taldril the drow warlock, who’s a lot less edgy than that race/class combo would imply... her dragon familiar Donavan sleeps under her chair. 

[obcurityandbeyond]

Venture: Ch 1 - Dead Mall

Eric was lying in bed one day watching a show he’d seen a million times on TV while he scrolled mindlessly on his phone. Anxiety began to creep in. Anxiety about money, and how the fridge was just about devoid of food, and concerns over the cost of pizza, all clouded his head. With a groan, he got up. It’d been over two weeks since Eric had worked, and he could stall no longer. Eric poured a cup of coffee, splashed some water on his face, and sat at his desk. It was time to get down to business and find a gig. 

He then took a look around, and saw that his apartment had fallen into a state of disrepair as of late, and decided it would be irresponsible not to tidy up first. He collected the clothes from the floor into a basket, and was getting a start on the dishes when his phone chimed. A timed reward for a game he liked was ready to be collected. Since he’d already sunk so much time into that game, it would be foolish not to take advantage of this prize. It only took a couple minutes to collect the reward and then try it out for a quick hit of dopamine. He then began to wonder about what his friends were up to and what news he might be missing out on.

Over a half hour later, Eric realized he was once again watching a show he’d seen a million times, scrolling mindlessly on his phone. He audibly muttered, "son of a bitch." He then sprung up, stormed over to his desk, sipped his now lukewarm coffee, and opened up the Venture app on his phone.After changing his profile to online, little blips started appearing on the map for gigs. He clicked on one, and was irritated to see a mislabeled post requesting someone to kill goblins that had been bothering them in their neighborhood. Eric reported this post. As a half-elf with a lot of goblin or otherwise nonhuman friends, he was always floored by the blatant racism that can still appear on this app. 

After a little while sifting through jobs that were either beyond his skills or below his expected pay, he found one that piqued his interest. It seemed the old mall downtown had an outbreak of that new mutagenic mold that had fascinated him since he first saw the earliest murmurs about it online. From what he could make out from the post, it had turned the former employees into some nasty new breed of undead, and all he would need to do was clear them out so the company that ran the mall could recover their property and strip the building. The payout was way above his normal job, and even without that, the chance to take a sample of the mold was irresistible. 

Eric put in a bid at the asking price. He clenched his jaw and winced as he hit send, worrying someone would underbid him and take the job. In only a few moments, however, the bid was accepted and the client sent him a message. The message said that the client was eager to get this over with and that there was a bonus if he could finish today.

It was already a little after noon, and Eric knew he needed the money, so he got ready. He put on his favorite Hawaiian shirt, with some jeans, the same brown wizard hat he’d worn since dropping out of college, and a matching tweed trench coat. He rolled up the sleeves to keep his tattoos visible: on his left arm, a sleeve of traditional elven tattoos for his mother’s side, and nautical tattoos on his right arm to commemorate his father. Under the jacket, he’d secured two daggers, along with all the potions, elixirs, and spell components he could discreetly stache away. His staff was buried under a pile of junk, so he fished it out. For now, he felt accomplished. This was his uniform as far as he was concerned, and for the first time in a week, he wasn’t in pajamas. 

Eric was ready, and he took the ladder to exit his apartment, squeezing through the leather opening when he got to the top. Onlookers would be shocked if they’d seen Eric emerging sideways from a leather backpack in the alleyway, wincing as he pulled himself up from the wet pavement. Eric hated it when his backpack fell over like that and he had to deal with perpendicular gravities, but it’s to be expected when he goes for such a long stretch without going outside. Eric always fantasized about hiring an assistant to walk his bag to his destination, so he could just leave his apartment and be where he needed to be. 

Eric strapped his apartment to his back and headed out on his quest. Getting downtown only took him four stops on the monorail, and after a much-needed fifteen-minute walk, he’d arrived at the Lone Pine Mall. He approached the automatic doors cautiously, and was wondering how he was expected to get in if it was locked, but then, to his bewilderment, the doors opened for him. He was astounded that they hadn’t secured the mall yet; there was clearly no concern for public safety here.

The first thing Eric noticed was the horrific smell. There was the bitter smell of mold, hints of cooking Brussels sprouts (which he recognized as decomposing corpses), and a much more sinister smell. It was a smell that explained the extravagant payout; the smell of the Abyssal Plane, home of demons. 

"Sulfur," Eric said to himself. Damn it. " Nothing he’d read online about the mold had led him to believe it was abyssal in origin. This would surely complicate things. He inspected his surroundings and saw the slick black mold, which shimmered green in the light, growing in a web-like network along the walls. He followed the path of the network and recognized that it grew heavier along the right wall.

It occurred to Eric that such heavy growth of the mold would be hazardous to breathe, so he summoned a painter’s mask out of his backpack and soldiered on. High ceilings opened up to a semi-spherical sunroof overhead, half-encompassed in the mold, causing an eerie, shaded green light to bathe the environment. Eric turned the corner, with his staff pointed out for quick use. He was shocked to see that inside of the fried tentacle shop, the mold network was joined in a large mass, with a man at the center of it. 

This man was spread eagle on the wall, with much of his body engulfed in mold. His face was deformed, with the left side swollen to accommodate a bloodshot eye the size of a baseball. Eric’s dark-olive skin went pale when it dawned on him that this man’s chest was moving, and he was alive through this unthinkable process.

The sound startled the man, and his normal-sized eye opened.

"Help," the man croaked.

"What happened here? How did this happen to you? "

"Please. Please kill me. "Please let me die already," the man moaned, choking out his words. Eric simply gave a solemn nod. This would take some consideration. He would need to deal with the mold, but he suspected burning down the building would void his right to a paycheck. Eric pointed his staff toward the man and silently concentrated. An icy wind came forth from it, and in mere seconds, the whole room reached subzero temperatures. The mold froze solid, and everything in the vicinity now wore a thick layer of fuzzy white frost.

A shiver still persisted in the man, and Eric saw tears frozen to his face. From under his coat, Eric took a knee and produced an ornate dagger, a rag, and a bottle of silver-nitrate-based elixir. He coated the dagger in the elixer using the rag, then approached the suffering man. He used the dagger to slit the man’s throat, then plunged it into his heart. Eric hoped the man’s final moments were filled with peace, but knew it was probably just more pain.

The man and the surrounding mold became calcified, turning a pale gray and then shattering into crystallized shards and chunks. The calcification spread along the network, out into a few surrounding stores, and up to the sunroof, calcifying about a third of it. It occurred to him that the network must have more than one of these nodes, and destroying all of them should get the job done.

That’s when a bloodcurdling, inhuman screech echoed through the mall. Evidently, something was unhappy with Eric clearing out the mold. He stepped out of the room to try to get the drop on whatever he’d pissed off, but they beat him to it, and he was knocked ten feet down the hall onto his ass by a fist the size of his torso. He looked up and saw three misshapen zombies like none he’d ever seen, and at the forefront was one with a massive arm so large it touched the floor, with a dozen eyes sprouting from it, ranging from the size of a marvel to the size of a grapefruit. This oversized limb was juxtaposed to its shriveled and frail body, like that of a starving child.

Eric reached his hand toward the beast and found it empty, and his heart sank when he saw that his staff was where he was before he got knocked all the way down. It was now under the creature. He got to his feet, held his dagger behind his back, and slowly approached the creature.

Come get some big guys. How’d you end up with that anyway? Didn’t know dumbbells worked on both hands? Or was it a bit too much time on the internet? " The creature crouched so that three limbs were planted firmly on the ground, then took an exploratory jab at Eric with its arm, to which Eric dodged back a step, just outside of its perimeter.

Hey man, I’m not one to judge. It’s not my business what one consenting adult does in the privacy of his own house, but ya know, there are limits. " He then stepped forward into the radius the beast could hit, and it took the opportunity. The fist lurched forward with all of its might, just as Eric hoped. He dodged under the arm, and stabbed the eye of it with his dagger. The arm spasmed in pain, then Eric dove for his staff under the zombie’s useless body. The arm rose to hammer down on him, but before the move could be completed, a bolt of lightning was arcing at it from the staff. Eric sustained the lightning until all of the eyes on the arm popped and the creature collapsed on top of him.

Before Eric could pull himself out from under the corpse, he felt himself being dragged out by clawed hands. As he emerged, he was overwhelmed by the two zombies who had him in their grasp. He tried to struggle, but they had too much leverage. He boiled over with frustration, then slammed the base of his staff against the ground, blasting the zombies away with a concussive force. He quickly rose, and targeted one zombie with a nasty rat-like face growing from its cheek, and shot a deep blue icicle into its head. The icicle then exploded, blasting frozen solid chunks of zombie in every direction.

Without hesitating, he blasted the other one, which had several arms and legs growing out at every angle. He took three shots at it with shotgun blasts of obsidian pellets until it went down and stayed down.

Now tired, disgusted, and beginning to regret leaving his bed, he stormed forward, following the path of the mold network. It led to a store at the end, next to one of the big department stores that bookended the mall, although this one looks like it went vacant a long time ago. He peaked his head into the store and was somehow still surprised. It was another man stuck to the wall by the mold, but this man had come much further along in his mutation. Every limb of his body was stretched to impossible proportions, and his arms and legs rested against the walls, reaching all the way out to the entrance of the store.

Eric collected himself outside of the old man’s sight and downed a potion he kept under his jacket. This would help replenish his magic, along with increasing his focus and endurance. He then emerged from his hiding place and faced the creature.

Okay, stretch. Let's not make this harder than it has to be. I’m sure somewhere in there you’re just begging to die. Immediately, a hand reached for him from his right side, and he responded by spraying acid at it, which made it recoil.

"Nope, keep your creepy fucking hands off of me." He then pinned the other hand to the wall with a spike and took a few more steps forward. The creature opened its mouth, its elongated face reminding him of that painting of a screaming man. A horrendously long tongue began to slither out. "That must be a big hit with the ladies, huh?"

Before he could use a counter measure, the tongue lurched forward and was around his neck, constricting with the force of an anaconda. Eric’s face swelled and turned red. No air could get through, no thoughts could be produced, and no spells could be cast. The tongue had him for a long time, too long, thrashing him against the wall and bringing him closer and closer to a gruesome death. All that Eric could think about was pain and what he’d do for just one breath of air, but then, his head emptied, and he went limp.

Just before he lost consciousness, his primal brain kicked in, and with pure instinct, his hand went for the dagger on his belt, and in one swift motion, the tongue was severed. Eric fell to his knees and coughed and gasped desperately, while at the same time he blasted the room with a subzero blizzard like he had the other one. He limped to the man plastered on the wall, then plunged the dagger into his heart. Then he did it again. Then again, and again, and again, and he kept stabbing until he was stabbing only at the wall as calcified mold chrystals showered him.

"I swear to the fucking gods this better be over with already," he said between gritted teeth as he exited the store. Unfortunately, as he looked at the sunroof, some mold remained as a few shards of glass rained down from it.

A charging creature rammed him before he could finish his sentence, knocking him through the ledge on the second story hall and down to the ground level. Eric was sure he must have fractured a rib at the very least. Things weren’t about to get easier, either, as a grotesque creature was now regaining its footing in front of him. It had the gait of a gorilla, with two massive arms that it used to walk on all fours. It had tusks like a boar and horns like a goat.

I’ve got a creeping suspicion you won’t chalk this up to a big misunderstanding. I’m really a chill guy. I’ll take you out for drinks on me. The creature lurched towards him and was met with a blast of fire. That, however, only momentarily staggered it, then with the back of its hand it smacked Eric clear across the room.

Eric struggled to get to his knees and was at a loss as to what to do to the creature. When he was about to launch another spell, his eye caught something to his right. With a stroke of luck, it was another node, a shriveled man pinned to a vending machine. Eric gathered his surroundings and knew what to do. He readied his position as the creature took earth-shaking steps towards him, picking up speed. Then, when the creature was in position, Eric slammed his staff against the handle of his dagger and sent it flying to the man on the vending machine, hitting him square in the heart and calcifying him and the mold. As the creature stepped under the sunroof, it collapsed onto it, decapitating it. Then, the creature calcified, along with everything else the mold had corrupted within the mall.

Eric rode the escalator, leaning his weight on the hand rail and grasping his ribs. He left that mall absolutely seething. As he walked out the door, a chime from his phone gave him pause. He checked it, seeing the gig was marked complete, and two thousand GP were added to his wallet, way over the promised pay, way more than he’d ever been paid for one gig. He looked up at the security camera over the door and understood that he’d been watched for this job. He flipped the camera off.

"Fuck the mall. From now on, I’m only shopping online."

Chapter 2 can be found here:

[itsybitsybatsyspider]

If You Give a Troll a Taco: Book 1 Part 2/10

Summary: Jamie Bennett knew a lot can happen during the night. He just never thought that making friends with a half-troll and aspiring wizard with tacos was one of them.

Notes: The perspectives will be changing between the three J’s. Jamie, Jim, and Jack. And i’ve decided that If You Give a Troll a Taco will be the first book of two. So enjoy!

Warnings: mild swearing and anxiety.

Word Count: N.C. (No Clue) 

The trek from Arcadia to New Jersey was tiring to say the least. Jim didn’t know what to expect as he and Claire made the cross country backpacking trip, but he didn’t think it would be this hard. According to Claire’s calendar, he, Claire, Blinky and the trolls had been walking across the country for roughly 4 months. It probably wouldn’t have taken this long normally; but alas, they were trolls, and could only move from dusk to dawn. All while avoiding campsites, security cameras, horse ranches, and the regular couple camping by the side of the road. And don’t forget about the rogue goblins or other malicious creatures that sought to do the trolls of Trollmarket harm. It was exhausting. Jim never really thought about how well Blinky and Aarrrgh!!! moved around without being noticed, but now he did. And he has to admit, he has a whole new level of respect for the both of them because of it. Of course, Claire was usually the one to go into convenience stores or gas stations to buy more supplies for the group. So Jim didn’t really have to worry about her being spotted. Only the mass group of 350-400 trolls that relied on him to get them to safety. No pressure there. And after a week or so after the Battle of Arcadia, Jim’s armor shut off, leaving him with tattered jeans and a torn up piece of cloth that barely resembled a jacket. The transformation from human to part-troll wasn’t kind to his clothes. So one night during their travels, he and Claire snuck into a mall and stole some. Claire decided to tag along because she was getting tired of sleeping and walking in her armor, so she opted to a simple

 t-shirt, pants and boots. But she chose to leave the bracers and greaves on, just in case they came across goblins or something. But about a week after that, Claire got tired of not being able to protect the group that so desperately needed protection. She was getting antsy and tried to do anything that kept her mind off of that fact. Which is where the dozen or so friendship bracelets came from. But that’s not important. So after talking with Merlin, he decided to help her make another staff, a new one. This one made up of black wood that curled around itself, with a purple gemstone glowing at the top of it, wood curling around that too. The making of the staff was the easy part, but it was the magic that was hard. After some serious thought, Claire decided on what she wanted her new Shadowstaff to do and they worked on it every day for five days whenever they decided to make camp or rest. It turned out to be pretty badass, having it make shadows bigger and darker and allowing the wielder to melt into shadows. It wasn’t the exact same as the Skathrun, but it still had some of the same properties to it as it did. After some practice with her new staff, Claire became a master of it in no time. Sparring with Jim and sometimes ARRRGH!!! while they were took breaks from the road. It was nice to be sparring with her again, it made things seem almost normal and that they didn’t change like they did in the past weeks.           

But when Jim entered Burgess, Pennsylvania, he was not expecting what Blinky said. “Watch and listen. Never know what you might see here.”  He then proceeded to talk about the strange incidents of the town and that occurred there in the past. Flash freezes, chaotic frost, unpredictable blizzards, stinging hailstorms, and wind gusts that could tear down anything less than brick and wood. It had started just over 305 years ago. And it was worrying to say the least. For just by the way Blinky was saying it, it seemed that the causes of these phenomenons was not natural. So Jim was anxious when they entered Burgess. He didn’t know what he was up against like he did with Gunmar and Angor Rot, and that made the enemy all the more dangerous. You can’t hit what you can’t see. 

They had been in Burgess for no more than twelve hours, when they were passing through the backstreets of the town and experienced some trouble. One of the trolls, Zulg, had apparently smelled something good in one of the trash cans and decided that it was a good idea to rummage through it. Alerting the entire neighborhood that there were trolls passing through their backyards. Luckily, no lights turned on from the homes within. Jim let out a sigh. That was the umpteenth time Zulg threatened to expose them, him and his apathetic responses made it aggravating to work with the guy. After scolding him for the thousandth time, Jim thought that they would be able to get away this time, without any bumps or glitches. Oh, if only the universe was that kind. But then there was a flash. Out of the corner of his eye. And that was all it took. Before he could say anything, the Daylight armor appeared and the familiar sword glowed in his hand. Claire’s new staff was at the ready, glowing a dangerous purple and prepared to do whatever kind of damage it needed to do.

“What was that?” Claire asked tense. 

Everyone held their breath, waiting for something to come out of the shadows and attack them. When nothing happened, everyone let out a sigh of relief, and slowly began to move forward. 

“We need to be more careful.” Jim whispered. “That was a close one.” 

Claire nodded. And they began to move forward once more. Jim hoped that that was the last strange thing they would see in Burgess; but that was just the beginning. 

By the time dawn came around, the trolls were able to find a spot deep in the woods and make camp. They set up large tarps, family size tents, stolen bed sheets, and umbrellas to make up for the lack of shade. It wasn’t ideal, but it was the best they could while travelling on the road. and while they were travelling along the roads, they came across a Walgreens that hadn’t opened yet. Seeing as how they were just starting to run low, Claire had decided to wait till it opened to gather some more supplies for the group. So she deviated from the group and sat by the doors waiting for the store to open. Jim was worried though that she’d run into trouble, a young girl by herself sitting on the streets this early in the morning, so after he helped the trolls set up everything and told Blinky where he was going, he went off to find her. 

After some searching and remembering, Jim found the Walgreens and saw Claire leaning up against the side of the door, head tilted to the side and ebony hair covering her face. Jim smiled. She had fallen asleep. Sneaking behind the drug store, Jim came around to Claire and lifted her up into his arms. She cuddled up against his warmth, despite his skin being rough, and her head laid on his chest. A content growl rumbled from his throat and in that moment Jim was glad that Claire wasn’t awake for that. He would have never heard the end of it. He rounded the corner and crept behind a dumpster before sitting down, Claire now lying in his lap. She looked so beautiful there, just sleeping. How did he end up so lucky as to have met Claire?

They had been hanging around the dumpster for a few minutes, when all of a sudden Jim heard something odd. It sounded like a bird twittering and vibrating. Like a hummingbird. Why would there be hummingbirds here in the middle of autumn? In the back alley of a drug store? Don’t they usually hang around in parks or forests? But as much as Jim wanted to investigate, he couldn’t for fear of waking up Claire. So he just sat there and waited till Claire woke up. 

When the Walgreens finally opened and the interior lit up, Jim looked down at Claire and decided that it was time to wake her up, much to his dismay. She was so cute while she slept! Shaking her shoulders, Claire slowly began to wake up, her voice hardly a gravelly whisper. 

“No.... I don’t wanna get up yet.....Five more minutes.” Jim smiled softly, and tried to wake her up again. 

“Claire? It’s time to get up. The Walgreens is open now.” She groaned the only groan you would groan in the morning and proceeded to sit up. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Claire smacked her lips obviously having that morning breath syndrome that everyone got and suddenly realized where she was. A blush crept up and blossomed in her cheeks, making her whole face turn red. Jim began to blush too, and he was regretting that he couldn’t stop it. She smiled. Oh what a beautiful smile that was too. And even though she just woke up and her smile was all lopsided, it looked even cuter to Jim and he tried his best in that moment not to melt. 

“You were saying something about Walgreens?” She asked. Jim gulped down the lump in his throat and tried to talk. Nothing came out. Claire scoffed and went to brush the hair from her eyes, the stark white bangs flashing. 

“Jim?” Claire prompted. 

“Uh, yeah! I was just saying that the Walgreens opened just now. So you should probably get going.” 

Claire nodded before getting up and off of Jim’s lap and went to take her bracers and greaves off. They glowed one last faint purple before they disappeared into her pack and Claire shouldered the backpack on. 

“Good morning!”

“Good morning.” they said to each other like an old married couple. ���Would you like me to get you some whipped cream for breakfast?” Claire asked, an eyebrow raised. Jim laughed. 

“Yeah, that’d be great. And if you decided to get coffee, i get the cup.” Claire gave her boyfriend a nod and exited the alleyway and into the early morning light. She turned around just to be sure Jim was safe and out of sight when he gave her one last toothy grin. She smiled and went to enter the drug store.

On their way back to the camp, Jim and Claire talked and ate their breakfast. Whipped cream/the can for Jim and a cheese danish and some black coffee for Claire. They talked about anything that came to their minds and it was nice for them to have that. It was a bit of normalcy in their crazy lives. Claire talked to Jim about her new staff and how excited she was to use it, and Jim couldn’t help but smile at how cute she was when she was happy. It was like watching a little kid at Christmas! 

Jim talked about the new things he learned from Blinky that he never knew existed till now. Like how Blinky started teaching him how to navigate using constellations and stars one night when he saw Jim looking at them. He could now name every constellation in the sky, with some thought, and predict the movements of planets and when they would appear. Claire was glad to hear that Jim had something like that going for him. Something to distract him from the weight of protecting the survivors of Trollmarket, leaving his mom and Toby behind in Arcadia, and not being human anymore. But Claire didn’t want to bring that up, so she stayed quiet and listened to Jim talk. 

They arrived at the camp just in time. The sun was slowly reaching up overhead, and racing against the sun was hard. Despite how many times they had already done it. Jim got nicked by the sunlight a few times, but it wasn’t anything too serious thankfully and the injuries went away quickly. They spent the rest of the day inside the camp; checking in on everyone, helping when a sheet or tarp feel over, sparred a little, and checked in with the main defense trolls. Who guarded the camp while they were both on the move and resting. The first day they decided to have them, Jim turned to talk with Draal about being in charge of the group, but then he remembered what happened and a piece of his heart cracked a little bit more. 

They reported nothing bad had happened, but there was something rather unusual. One of the trolls on the PaTroll, Keja,  said that she saw a glittering shadow running through the trees before vanishing into thin air. She also said that it smelled cold and like rotten wood. Before, when Jim was human, these descriptions would’ve meant nothing to him, but now that he was part-troll, he had noticed scents that he never smelled before. So now he understood what she said when it smelled “cold”. 

The sighting of this creature only added to Jim’s fear. He was aware that out here in the daylight, they were all vulnerable to an attack from a supernatural creature; which is why he wanted to find the new Heartstone as soon as possible, get the trolls started on their new home, and then head back to Arcadia to Mom and Toby. That was the plan. Or at least, the plan that he had. But the main point was that Jim was anxious. In fact, he was anxious about everything. Whether it was about getting enough food, hiding, protecting the trolls, getting enough rest, avoiding daylight, dying, his mom missing him, Toby all alone by himself, that he’s convinced that he should be having meds for that shit. So hearing about a possible malevolent creature, did nothing to improve his current mental state.

But other than the sighting, nothing out of the ordinary happened for the rest of the day. It was just after dusk and dinner when Jim thought it’d be a good idea to check the perimeter, so after telling Blinky and Claire, he headed off to the edge of the forest. Alone. 

The walk there was peaceful and nice as he breathed in the crisp autumn air and enjoyed the way it cooled him down. The leaves in the trees clapped their hands, the last birds of the day still sang and the sound was sweet to Jim’s ears. The sky was a deep shade of purple with creamsicle orange clouds still hanging above the sun. The stars were just starting to peep out from their black curtains and as he reached the edge of a forest, you could see just how green the grass was. It was one of those moments that you wished lasted forever.  

Another breeze fluttered by, seeping through Jim’s sweater, and causing him to shiver. Even if it was just a little.   

Jim thought it’d be best to view the landscape from above. That way he could see more and be a better look out in case something bad came along. It also gave him an excuse to see more of the sunset. So he climbed a tree and rested on one of the stronger and bigger limbs. Sighing, he pulled out the amulet and began to fiddle with it. Something he began to do as they started traveling. It helped to occupy his mind and pass the time. 

Jim had been sitting up there playing with amulet, till the sun disappeared and the stars came out in their shining glory. The birds stopped chirping, crickets taking their place and the air cooled down to a formidable degree. Sighing out of boredom, Jim leaned his head against the rough bark of the tree. Thinking about what else this town would bring. It had been less than 24 hours and already, there had been things that he couldn’t explain. The bright flash, the fluttering of a bird behind a dumpster, and then that shadow creature. Something was off about this town, and Jim wanted to know what. But he didn’t have time to find out and neither did anyone else. They had two-three days max before they had to start moving again, it wasn’t long, but it was long enough to gather new supplies. The stuff Claire got at the convenience store wasn’t enough for another three weeks on the road. 

Suddenly there was a sound of rustling and footsteps. The sound perked up Jim’s ears, drawing his attention. It was coming from within the forest. Slowly standing up on his branch, Jim got ready to do his job as Trollhunter. When suddenly a voice called out. 

“Master Jim?” 

The Trollhunter breathed a sigh of relief. It was just Blinky.  

“Up here!” He replied. The six-eyed troll looked up and relaxed. He must’ve been slightly worried about where Jim was. After all, he hadn’t been back to camp in some while. 

“Deya’s grace! How did you get so high up?” the scholar exclaimed. 

“Umm, i just climbed? I take it trolls don’t climb trees too often.” Jim said as he climbed down back to the ground. 

“No, we do not. You know that we prefer the ground, Master Jim. It’s where we live! I must say, what were you doing up in that tree anyway?” 

“I was just keeping a lookout. I have a weird feeling about this town.” 

Blinky chuckled. “You and I both.” He then noticed the look on Jim’s face. It was one of worry. “Master Jim? Are you alright?” Jim shook his head. 

“No. I’m just really worried about what’ll happen while we stay here. Already there’s been incidents. I’m not so sure that staying would be the best idea. Even if it is just for a few days.” 

Blinky nodded. Taking Jim’s words into account. “I understand your apprehensiveness, but alas, we cannot move forward without our supplies. But fear not,” Jim looked up at Blinky. “I have no doubt that our Trollhunter is strong enough to take on any disputer he may come across.” 

Jim smiled at the words of praise. “Thanks, Blinky.” The said troll nodded with sincerity. He gave Jim a one-sided hug, who gladly returned it. 

“Well, I should probably head back to the camp. I told them that I’d bring you some snacks in case you got hungry. It has been a long day for you. For us all.” Blinky said as he reached into his satchel and pulled out three soda cans and a nearly empty can of whipped cream. The same can that Claire had gotten this morning. Jim smiled at how much Blinky cared for his health. He always did, even when he was human and still in Arcadia. 

“Thanks Blinky. Again.” Blinky nodded. “I will see you back at camp, Master Jim.” were his last words before turning around and heading back into the forest.  A smile still placed on Jim’s face, he climbed back up his tree and started to eat his new snacks. 

He chewed on the soda cans for a bit, before moving on to finish the whipped cream. But before he could, the crickets went silent. the Trollhunter paused in his binging, all attention on his surroundings. Ears perked, shoulders tense, and pressurized can forgotten, Jim was alert and aware of everything and anything around him. He heard the sound of crunching leaves and footsteps. Even the puffs of someone breathing if he strained his ears enough. He quietly said the incantation to summon the armor and once again, within a day, Daylight glowed softly in his hand. 

Eyes narrowed and growling softly, Jim was ready for anything. He saw someone enter his vision. And then he threw Daylight right at them. Or at least nearly. Until he saw that they were just a kid and nothing more. Other than the hoodie and torn pants, he looked like an ordinary human being. That is until Jim caught his scent. 

He smelled cold. A low growl picked up in his throat once again, and Daylight glinted menacingly in the moonlight. And Jim knew that it was the middle of an autumn night, so of course anyone would be cold. But this was something more than that. It was a deep-rooted cold that held strong to someone’s bones and didn’t let go. It must’ve been the same creature that Keja spotted. Was probably disguised as a human too. Jim was determined to not let it into the camp, and it will not get away.  

Before Jim could think about what he was doing, Daylight flew from his hand and pierced the ground before the ‘creature’. He jumped from his post, screaming a battle cry and landed right before the thing. Prepared to take on the creature. The boy fell back, a yelp escaping his throat and eyes wide at the person standing before him. 

Jim waited for something to come from the boy. An evil laugh or smile was suspected. But nothing came. Instead, he laughed. the Trollhunter tried hard not to reveal how confused he was, but his facade was tearing down a little. 

“Yes! I knew it! Do you know how crazy you’ve made me look!? My friends thought i was going insane! I’ve been looking for you guys all day!” 

Jim’s facade fell. He was thoroughly confused about what was happening. Was this not the creature that Keja saw earlier? If not, why did he smell cold? If he wasn’t the creature, then Jim just made a huge mistake. And his face showed it. 

“Oh no.” 

[wearepioneerspress]

New 2.5" pin! Design by Julia Eff. Available at https://pioneerspress.com/products/dont-take-my-fucking-picture-2-button ABOUT from Julia: Created to alleviate the daily anxiety afflicting shy weirdos, queerdos, goth kids, writer-hermits, punks, gender wizards, time wizards, and any other excellent-looking people trying to exist peacefully and be their excellent selves in public, this button is sure to ward off rude Baby Boomers with phone cameras who think it's totally acceptable to come into your place of employment and stand there taking photos of you while you tell them to stop. Or, y'know, they (and the packs of rude teenagers that follow Cool People around the mall trying to record them for Snapchat or scream at you in the drive-thru at McDonald's for the same reasons when YOU REALLY JUST WANTED TO PEE BEHIND THE DUMPSTER IN PEACE THANKS MY GUY) will think it's hilarious and you're being "clever" and will just photograph you harder. Your mileage may vary. 2.25" pinback button with a weather-resistant anti-glare gloss finish (that ironically photographs beautifully), designed by julia eff and manufactured by the button goblins. White text on black for maximum visibility and maximum cool points. If you're feeling cheeky or ~feeling yourself~, why not put a piece of electrical tape (or black duct tape) (not included) over the word DON'T and demand the world document your brilliance and fine sartorial mistakes? The choice is yours.

[bookmania2020]

Significance of Fantasy in Literature – Michael R. Barbour

Fantasy author, R. B. Michaels’s latest work, Knights of The Wind 978-1-95-163054-6, takes readers on a fantastical journey with a gifted knight and a powerful mage that join forces to fight the evil, which has returned after centuries. The story is set in a world where orcs, elves, dragons, and other magical creatures hide among human beings. Michaels’s writing is impeccable and brilliant. If you are a fantasy lover and reader, Knights of The Wind is a must-read. As per Literary Devices, here is the importance of the fantasy genre in the literature world and examples of fantasy in literature:

         The definition of fantasy in contemporary literature often means a work that portrays characters in a medievalist setting, which is to say that there are elements often associated with medieval legends such as kings, queens, princesses, dragons, knights, unicorns, and so on. Though there are works from before the mid-1800s that are sometimes classified as fantasy (William Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream is sometimes held forth as an example of fantasy), the Scottish author George McDonald is generally considered to be the first modern author of fantasy literature for adults. He published The Princess and the Goblin and Phantastes in 1872 and 1858, respectively. Since then, there have been numerous works of literature that have adopted some of the many medievalist elements that qualify a narrative as fantasy.

         As contemporary fantasy author George R.R. Martin wrote, “The best fantasy is written in the language of dreams. It is alive as dreams are alive, more real than real … for a moment at least … that long magic moment before we wake. Reality is the strip malls of Burbank, the smokestacks of Cleveland, a parking garage in Newark. Fantasy is the towers of Minas Tirith, the ancient stones of Gormenghast, the halls of Camelot. Fantasy flies on the wings of Icarus, reality on Southwest Airlines. Why do our dreams become so much smaller when they finally come true?”

       Examples of Fantasy in Literature

·        In his novel Peter Pan, J.M. Barrie includes many fantasy elements, not least of which is the character of a fairy named Tinker Bell. Barrie creates many truisms about fairies in his book, such as the above idea that fairies are too small for more than one feeling. Barrie’s alternate world of Neverland exists concurrently with the modern world, yet has different magical rules that govern it.

·        J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings series is one of the most famous examples of the fantasy of all time. There are a plethora of magical characters, including Wizards like Gandalf, as well as made up beasts such as the Balrog. The fantasy involves many common themes such as an adventure quest, a fight between good and evil, and mythical creatures including elves, dwarves, and hobbits.

·        There are numerous examples of the fantasy genre in J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series. In just the short paragraph above we can see a few at work, including the presence of a dragon, as well as goblins and wizards and the use of magical spells. In fact, this scene takes place during an adventure quest in which Harry and his friends raid a special bank for wizards in search of a particular piece of enchanted treasure.

·        George R.R. Martin’s current series of novels, A Song of Ice and Fire (more commonly known as Game of Thrones), includes many traditional fantasy elements. There are kings, queens, chivalric knights, and the presence of magic and mythical beasts like dragons and “White Walkers.” The Game of Thrones series is the most medievalist of all of the examples of fantasy given here.

[rpgsandbox]

Gobblin’ is an original RPG setting and system where players control goblins settling and exploring a post-apocalyptic Earth. The creatures who crave violence, stupidity and chaos have just found the perfect means to obtain it.

Everyone knows about goblins. They’re violent and stupid little green guys who with just enough brain cells to know what they’re doing and black enough hearts not to care. They live in fantastic worlds where wizards battle dragons, kingdoms rise and fall, and armies of swordsmen clash to save the world from evil. All the while, there’s always goblins looting corpses and stealing cabbages.

When the higher races grew tired of the chaotic creatures so obnoxious that even the forces of evil didn’t want them around, they banded together to form a spell so powerful that it would reach across the entire realm. With what was essentially a magical, interdimensional eviction notice, every single goblin was hurled through time and space until they landed in what they would come to know as their new home. There were no humans or elves there, but those that had lived there before had left behind a strange world ravaged by war. The least cowardly of the goblins started to prod at the mysterious devices until they roared to life and the goblins cheered to realize their fate!  

This world had guns and cars, bazookas and robots! Things that exploded if you poked them enough! Exciting mutants and bombed out apartments that were MUCH cozier than any goblin hut. The goblins had a whole world of abandoned toys to discover, many of which could kill their fellow goblin from twenty paces away. The goblins ran wholeheartedly into their new world, wanting to be the first to discover the strangest mysteries, deadliest weapons and tastiest expired snack cakes of the world they would call Goblin House. The humans were gone from this place. The goblins would thrive in their ruins.

The story of Gobblin’ is about entering a generic post-apocalypse after living in a generic fantasy world for countless generations (it’s only countless because goblins are terrible at history and counting). Goblins adapt surprisingly well to their new home. Their twisted anatomy helps them deal with radiation, spoiled food, and their natural disregard for common safety practices. Their sheer numbers allow them to last long enough to figure out what explodes and what shoots what out of where. It doesn’t take long for them to scatter around the globe, hunkering down in salvaged homes, restaurants and shopping malls and starting to call dibs on all they can find.  

Goblins don’t understand what happened to Earth in the slightest. Some have a passing curiosity, but they quickly forget about it when they find a power drill or something that glows in the dark. Goblins have their priorities straight, and that priority is greed. They want shiny valuables, sharp tools, tasty food, weapons of great and confusing power, and the means to lord over their fellow goblins. If they’re lucky, they can find something that gives them all of the above. After all, this high tech world generated a lot of strange things in a desperate arms race before their end. Dibis found a tool that fires beams of light to burn your foes!  Kep tells stories of a magical armored vehicle that speaks to you when you approach. The shamans warn young goblins against going into the caves of Deepdown, since giant serpentine creatures slither in the dark protecting shiny and tasty treasures.Any goblin that looks long and hard enough will find something of interest, even if finding loot also means finding trouble.

Thanks to their monstrous adaptability and already filthy lifestyle, being a goblin in Goblin House is like being a kid in a planet-sized candy store. In this case, the candy is bullets and some of the candy will eat you because it’s been mutated by severe radiation poisoning. So like any kid, goblins are going to go looking where they’re not welcome and then quickly enter a blind panic and do something stupid. The fact of the matter is that goblins are eternally held back by their many flaws. Stupidity, cowardice, greed, and treachery will play a part in even the noblest goblins’ life.

Goblins came from a medieval fantasy world where they thought the catapult was the peak of technology and something a goblin would never get their hands on. Now goblins are learning something new every day, and they still barely comprehend what's going on. A pile of skeletons don't even get a second glance from goblins because where there's human remains there's loot and delicious bones! Most goblins would rather fight over a piece of chocolate than take the time to figure out the codes to a bank vault, and that's just the ones that are literate. The setting is full of childlike wonder and shallow violence with a dash of comical indifference to the grim and ruined world around them.

Of course, they're not totally disorganized. Goblins likely would have just starved to death centuries ago if not for the occasional bossy type to make decisions. There is always one goblin in charge, being loud and selfish enough to yell at them to go get food, build houses, construct weapons, and generally get off their little green butts once in a while. The crux of any goblin’s life is going to be who's their chief. If they’re lucky, they’ll do their job and avoid his attention. If they’re very lucky, they’ll suck up to him and prove themselves strong enough to become on of his favorite toadies. If they’re absurdly lucky, they’re loud, strong or brave enough to overthrow the chief and take over.

For most of the players, they’re going to be that sad circle of scrubs that's unusual but talented enough that the chief gives them the strangest and riskiest jobs. Time and again, they’ll be expected to pile into a salvaged car or trudge off into the wasteland to scrounge through an abandoned truck stop to find any more of those moldy sandwiches the chief likes so much. Of course, there are many things lost and forgotten in this vast, dead world. Some of it is dangerous, and some of it is essentially (or sometimes literally) magical. The greatest risks come with the greatest rewards, and goblins will start out as extremely willing to fight and explore for the promise of reward. It's all about being the one to survive those mutated animals, outdated security systems, collapsing ruins, and (perhaps worst of all) your fellow goblins. Little green bandits and rival tribes are a blatant threat while your incompetent villagers may cause as much trouble as they stop. Then it's another just one more job for our scavenging cleanup crew.

Gobblin’ features a unique gameplay system centered around our old neglected friend: the d12. If a human rolls a d20, then a goblin would be a d12. Invariable weaker and a little funny-looking, but with more chance for pathetic failure and shocking success.

All major rolls come down to a d12, adding on situational bonuses and one of your goblin’s six stats: Bash, Brave, Run, Know, Laugh, and Jerk. These will determine how good your goblin is at stealing, hiding, punching, shooting, reading and pretending to know karate.

Goblins aren’t especially weak, but they are enormous cowards. While they can take immeasurable damage, every time a player runs out of HP, they take a physical injury to hinder their abilities and must roll to avoid Panic. If a goblin ever falls into a Panic, they are reduced to flailing, screaming idiots that can do nothing productive until they are brought to their senses by a teammate. Failing that, they’ll just run into the wasteland, never to be seen again as some wild animal, land mine, or speeding car finishes them off. One too many Wounds can lead to you holding down your bleeding and screaming teammate, yelling at him to stay and fight while your buddies are fending off the actual monsters.

Character creation is achieved using one of three distinct methods. Players may choose a standard-issue Specialty (such as the junk-hoarding Tinker, the Headroc master of the headbutt, or the loudmouthed bully that is the Boss), build their character piece by piece from the ground up, or throw a handful of dice and determine their stats and Perks within minutes.

Goblin Greatness serves as a combination of experience points, life-saving tokens, and roleplaying rewards. When the GM finds that a player acts in an impressive, hilarious, or especially stupid way, they can reward them for getting into the spirit of Gobblin’ with a point of Goblin Greatness. This represents the rare moments in a goblin’s life when he feels pride, and they that can empower their character in a number of ways. Players are encouraged to leap headfirst into danger and make conscious mistakes for the sake of such rewards and the fact that in the most extreme cases, a goblin gets the beating they deserve.

Goblins can make due with just about anything for a weapon. A loose ruleset for weapons makes it so that a goblin with a golf club would fight as well as one with a morning star. A potato gun can work as well as a shotgun. Similarly, loose armor categories let goblins run around in anything from a loincloth (None), t-shirts (Quick), garbage can plate mail (Clunky) or imaginary armor. Yes, imaginary armor is different from no armor. At least to a goblin.

Gobblin' is loaded with ideas and triggers for adventures and stories, both short and long. The book includes plenty of ridiculous NPCs, colorful villages, obsessive factions, and a list of 50 brief adventure prompts to use in building the world.

Kickstarter campaign ends: Fri, November 10 2017 4:00 PM UTC +00:00

Website: The Drunk and the Ugly

[readysetjo]

PS/ SS - Chapter 5 - Diagon Alley

@alluringcliche @feelsandotps @wearywanderer @xingshining

I’m wondering what personal story I’m going to share today!

Also, I’m sleepy I hope that doesn’t affect (?)/ effect (?)/ change/ manipulate/ twist/ adjust (I am avoiding looking up the difference between the words “affect” and “effect” for the 100th time in my life) my normal chapter liveblog. I was dedicated to writing this tonight, tho. 

I forget that they didn’t automatically leave after that tense evening discussion

I have a headcanon that the pouches on The Daily Prophet’s owls have a charm that vanishes the money and deposits it into a Gringotts bank account. Otherwise the birds would get so heavy-ladened after a while and I imagine that the Prophet’s bird’s would be frequently stolen from. Imagine working at the Prophet’s owlery. That would be a little fun for a time.

Hagrid just trusts Harry with rummaging through his coat to find his money. He’s either really sleepy or far too trusting. 

“yeh’d be mad ter try an’ rob [Gringotts].” /// lol Hagrid so had a chat with Harry about this memory later.

I’d like to see more of the tense dynamic between Fudge and Dumbledore. I bet Fudge would have been so funny to watch come undone under the weight of being Minister and slowly going from asking DD for help nearly every day to telling the reporters/ editors at the Prophet to slip in snide comments about DD. I want to watch that train wreck. 

Hagrid’s reasoning to why the Wizarding World is separate from the Muggle one is kind of odd to me. “everyone’d be wantin’ magic solutions to their problems.” Like honestly the actual result of that would probably be a capitalistic one in which the average magical person would be able to sell their magical “solutions to problems” for money. This would just lead to the magical community becoming very wealthy. That’s not really a bad thing (on the surface/ from a wizard’s POV). I think the most logical answer is: “Our community is so different from the Muggle one that creating rules to enforce for the two societies coinciding would be so difficult that we keep ourselves separate in order that we can both create individual systems that works for each society.Also, we are trying to avoid causing strain with a power imbalance.” 

“Harry, panting a bit as he ran to keep up” /// I grew up very short with a very tall dad, so I really can relate haha. I would have to occasionally remind him how my stride was two of his. 

I wonder what Hagrid was knitting. 

I feel like the HP fandom should have had a running joke by now that any deserted store in a strip mall was the entrance to a wizarding community. Tho it seems like the entrance was not visible or had a like “don’t look at me” charm on it rather than how St. Mungo’s was hidden behind a deserted shop. 

“Hagrid, clapping his great hand on Harry’s shoulder and making Harry’s knees buckle.” /// That I can’t relate to lol. 

“I’m all of a flutter.” /// What a funny and great way to put that lol.

Dedalussssssss!!! One of Harry’s first magical “acquaintances” XD and the truly brave soul who (along with Hestia Jones) watched the Dursley’s for nearly a year. I don’t usually make the joke but... “Rubeus Dedalus Potter you were named for-”

“’What sort of magic do you teach, Professor Quirrell?’ [asked Harry] ‘D-Defense Against the D-D-Dark Arts,’ muttered Professor Quirrell, as though he’s rather not think about it.’”/// 1. I died. I forgot about this line! 2. He went on a year-long break from work to do some research. That is so Ravenclaw. 3. What if Quirrell became known for wearing beanies instead of a turban? 4. I forgot how it was possible that Quirrell could shake Harry’s hand right now. 5. I forgot why Harry’s scar didn’t hurt right now. (I’ll probably remember soon enough, but I wouldn’t mind reminders if I don’t.)  6. You know those words that trip you up for no good reason? Yeah, well I’ve got quite the arsenal of those, but one of them happens to be “squirrel” (why? idk?) and this man helped me remember that the word has two “R”s in it.

“Harry wished he had about eight more eyes.” /// Harry Spider

I wonder what is the cool new broomstick model right now. 

Gringotts colors are scarlet and gold and I never noticed before. I think they wore black in the movies or just like nice work clothes. Also, I would like to go to Shell’s Cottage and hear Bill and Fleur tell me all about how Gringotts got started. I am fascinated. 

The poem on the door about stealing from Gringotts is so funny to me bc I am just thinking about how cabs have like signs that say that the driver doesn’t carry over a certain amount of money. These are two very different philosophies of deterring a thief. 

Three times JKR foreshadowed to us just how stupid it would be to try and rob Gringotts. 

Our Muggle banks and safety deposit boxes are so much more efficient and I am grateful. 

 Hey there Griphook! Well be seeing you again!

So Dumbledore would have told all the professors what they were hiding in Hogwarts, due to asking them for their help to do it right? But did they know why they were hiding the Sorcerer’s Stone? Did they too know that they were trying to suppress Voldemort’s return? I kinda hope they did. It seems to be that Hagrid did.

I like to imagine these seemingly perpetually grumpy goblins actually love their twisty roller coaster-ish cart rides under London. 

“Harry didn’t know where to run first now that he had a bag full of money.” /// So happy for him!!

Hagrid told him to get his uniform first almost like a parent haha. 

Reminder that Harry disliked Draco for his awful character right from the very beginning and that Draco set himself up for the foul life he ended up with by never seeing the goodness in others as something that he should want too. (I don’t say this to any of you four Questers bc I think you all would agree, but I just had to say it.)

I like how popular and big football is that even wizards know what it is and use it to compare to Quidditch. OMG I’m so stupid I’m just remembering one of the best eras in post-HP publishing history and getting emotional about it. Does anyone remember the 2014 Quidditch World Cup. I obsessed over it that summer and read every word that Ginny wrote and ahhhhh I miss it. I miss Quidditch and Pottermore publishing updates with chapter art and meta and character backgrounds. What a golden era post-DH. 

I like that Hagrid said that toads went “out of fashion years ago” so that means that, at one point, toads were vogue and that’s amazing by itself. I bet the professors hated that time. The constant low croaking coming from everyone’s pockets. 

“For some reason, the back of his neck prickled. The very dust and silence in [Ollivanders] seemed to tingle with some secret magic.” /// I love that feeling when it happens in real life. Like when you discover a cute little stream on a hike or a beautiful old library. 

I sometimes wish I had the memory of Ollivander. 

The second “you have your mother’s eyes” drink!

Ollivander had some personal space invading issues. (And it irks me.)

I know I already said that I want to know about like three things in this liveblog, but I’m desperate to know more about wandlore too. I want more facts.

I kind of like that the more difficult it was to find Harry a wand, the happier Ollivander got. That’s a good attitude to have right there. That’s how you know you love your job.

Voldemort’s wand was 13 inches and Harry’s was 11 inches. That means that there’s a chance that Voldemort’s phoenix’s core feather was longer than Harry’s and, therefore lower on Fawkes’ tail. 

Gosh wands are expensive. 

Goodbye, Ollie, see you later. 

Why did they not buy a trunk in Diagon Alley? Where did Harry even get a trunk that he carries around with him for 7 years? These are the real plot holes!  jkjkjk

That chapter was a little longer than usual. But since this one has less chapters in it, we are actually almost one third through with it. That’s wild!