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hobisfavoritespritecan · 2 years ago

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Sunshine

(Dad!) JUNG HOSEOK X READER

Just a drabble.

The living room of your small apartment was a radiant summery orange as the sun poked its way up above the clouds. The long windows that looked down upon the cityscape below refracted said light, and prism colors started to dance around the room and bend against the many many picture frames of you and your family with Hoseok. A smiling boy and girl positioned between the two of you in a round frame was the focal point of the mantle piece; the rest of the house being full of sillier photos of the people you'd come to love so much.

Hoseok could be heard from the girl's room, a grumble of complaints coming from the doorframe. Your youngest always hated waking up this early to get ready for school. Hoseok had a way of going about it though, where he would bribe her with the delicious cereal bars so loved oh so much and would promise to make her bacon on Wednesdays since he didn't have to be into the office for another few hours. This was what reluctantly got her out of bed and had her sauntering towards the kitchen without paying attention to the time at all. He would put pigtails in her hair so the whole apartment would smell like the apple detangler that she loved so much. Once she got to school, however, she never wanted to leave. Unlike you, your daughter loved math and science and would spend all her recess time reading books about space under the branches of a nearby tree while the rest of the students played. Hoseok was quite proud to hear how studious she was when the two of you had gone for a parent-teacher conference a couple of weeks prior.

Your boy was now twelve, so he was usually able to get up on his own. He definitely developed his own fashion sense through stealing his parents' clothes, which you found to be quite adorable considering most kids that age usually just go to school in graphic tees. He has dreams of being a fashion designer, so the two of you had gone out and bought many sketchpads and designer books with the models preprinted onto the pages. It was important to both you and Hoseok that your children's interests were never taken for granted, and that you were able to provide support wherever that may be. So when your son came home with painted nails and drawings all over his arms, the two of you knew he would have his mother's creative and artsy side. You loved the varying differences in your children's personalities.

Hoseok then ran into the room holding up your daughter as though she were a fighter plane and made silly noises as he flew her about and into the kitchen, her giggles following shortly after. Your son hustled his way out of the hallway frantically trying to collect his schoolbooks while he rubbed at the eyeliner he put under his eyes. He gave you a look which read "uh can you help?" But with kindness and urgency, as your kids gave you and Hoseok the utmost respect.

It was times like these where you felt the strongest wave of emotion. Mornings with your family were never going to not be important to you; especially after not having that as a child. Suddenly you were back to the dining room from the farmhouse twenty years prior, sitting all alone in the dark and spoon-feeding yourself the stale cereal as you waited for the right time to wake up your siblings and tell them to get ready for the bus. There was a crack in the table, as there were many imperfections in the house, and you would rub your finger over the sharp edge which threatened to leave a mark if you pushed against it too roughly. The wallpaper was falling off the ceiling and you wondered if the house felt the same way you did; pretty on the outside, but deteriorating in regard to the parts the public never saw. It was a burning house and you were burning with it.

You vowed long ago to never let yourself set your new family on fire like your father had.

In a way, it was you rekindling the relationship you had with younger you; a parent sitting at the table with a child who'd presumed she'd been forgotten even though you weren't there physically. She would always feel like someone was watching over her, and you hoped she knew it was herself. You wished you could go back and tell her that the things her father said to her weren't true. That she was worthy of love. That she did belong somewhere. That she wasn't a failure. That she'll make it out of this situation alive and that she'd go through trial and error with people whom she'll love wholeheartedly but will never love her until she gets the family of her dreams with a man who's nothing like the one in her old household.

So when your son came up to you and said "mom, I really really love art," you knew your reply would always be "I'm so proud of you for your drawings, let's hang them up on the fridge" because the man in your house had forgetfully thrown them away amongst his other papers.

When your daughter said she was feeling lonesome, your first reaction would be to console her and tell her that there is so much life to live and there are some parts she'll have to face alone, but never fully. That she'll always kindle people's hearts with her kindness and her love for life, a contrast from the man who told you that it was because you were unlovable.

When your husband made your kids those sandwiches they loved so much and spent a long time cutting them up into stars just to see a smile on their faces, a part of that kindness went to the you who never got it. When your husband insisted on taking trips as a family somewhere where everyone would love and would spend an hour playing with the kids on the playground, the you from before found some happiness. When your son was jamming out to music, Hoseok would be the first to walk into the room and offer to dance with him. When your daughter got older and expressed her concerns with her weight, Hoseok would be the one to hold her and tell her she's beautiful regardless of physical appearance.

When your son goes through his first heartbreak, your husband would be the first to tell him about how he'll love a lot of people in his life and not all of them will be good, but he will be good because he is a lover. When your daughter has her first anxiety attack, your husband will be the first to make her tea and offer the chance to watch a movie which will eventually become her favorite because she associates it with a good memory.

Last night he took a lamp off the living room table and placed it in the middle of the floor. He moved the furniture around to make more space and then emptied out cans of paint into the roller container and painted the living room while dancing with his kids whom you both adored so much.

And when your kids go off to college, Hoseok will be the first one to cry and give a hug and try to convince them to go out to lunch one more time as a family just to spend every moment he has with them before he can't see them everyday. And your son/daughter will smile and say they can't because there's just oh so much to unpack and he'll understand and cry to the songs he remembers playing that night they all danced in the living room together and will set his phone wallpaper to a picture of them.

And even though the kids are still small and the years have yet to go by, there's not a day you regret loving and giving your heart to people. Because even though you gave it out to the wrong person a few times, there was never a time you would say you regretted it because the thing you know best about yourself is your capacity to love. Boundlessly and endlessly.

And Hoseok wasn't there for all of it, but he'd be there for the rest of it and that was good enough for you. Because in a way, he was always there. When you had those nights with your father where you couldn't walk into school the next day without falling asleep. Where home life got so rough you'd find yourself silently crying in the school bathroom. When looking at yourself in the mirror became too difficult of a task so you'd have to shower with the lights off. When everything was too much, but you envisioned having a family of your own one day and someone who'd love you the way you'd loved everyone else. And you got it.

And he was currently feeding your eight year old bacon and looking at you with the most adoration you've ever seen a human being muster.

For once, everything was okay.

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