#glad I have a specialist appointment next week

[jon-withnoh]

Health vent in the tags 🙃

[simslegacy5083]

Today's (10/17/2024) Episode: Tough Decisions

When Luigi got home from the stadium, he had the unenviable job of telling his wife what Doc had said.

Noemi eyed the wrist brace he’d slipped on as soon as he arrived suspiciously while he began with the good news of his victory. Her expression darkened as he moved on to recounting the trainer’s suspicions and his flimsy justifications for ignoring everyone’s warnings and advice to rest his hand.

"Lu… your job is not as important as your health!" she eventually berated him. “I can’t believe I have to babysit you, but you’ll make the same dumb choices about your next tournament and Rainy Day’s inevitable request for DLC and updates to Watcher Tales if I don’t keep an eye on you…!" 

Given the way he was feeling just then, Luigi couldn't even argue with her. He'd achieved those all-important professional goals, but at what cost?

The price for his hubris was revealed at Luigi’s appointment with the hand specialist. With a few tests Dr. Cody confirmed Doc Leonard’s suspicion that Luigi had sustained some permanent nerve damage and echoed the trainer's assessment that surgery was the best option for his long-term recovery. 

"I’m definitely not interested in surgery“ Luigi told her right away, prompting Noemi to question "Lu, what could it hurt to learn more about…”

He fired back unusually gruffly: "No! absolutely not" before asking the Dr. “What else can you offer me, because surgery isn't happening."

They finally settled on trying steroid injections.

“The effectiveness varies patient to patient and the benefits are only temporary” the provider told them “but they should offer you some relief. I also strongly recommend you change your lifestyle and minimize activities that aggravate your condition. That includes intensive computer work." 

Luigi was glad to see some improvement after his first injection. He also finally accepted the fact that something had to give in his professional life. In the end that decision was a simple one, even if it broke his heart a little to do what he felt he had to do.

A few days after his championship win Luigi was seated in the press room with Rainy Day’s E-Sports coaching staff.

"From the time I was a teenager I knew I wanted to play SimScuffle professionally" he began “As many of you know I got my start on Foxbury’s collegiate team, and when that amazing journey ended, I was lucky enough to be recruited by Rainy Day.” He paused and took a deep breath.

“Today I’m here to announce that I am officially retiring from competitive play.”

The teams head coach took over then “Luigi’s mentorship abilities and strategic insights have elevated our team’s profile and performance immensely. We are excited to transition him into a permanent role as our new director of strategy and recruitment. We’re looking forward to what the future holds.”

As he focused his attention on the press and prepared to answer questions Luigi reflected that, while this was not the way he’d wanted his E-Sports career to end, he was eager to tackle this new challenge in the days and weeks to come.

View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here

[krakenartificer]

Notes on therapist selection

(From someone who is getting a good grade in Having a Therapist, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve)

Some friends were discussing their work to find a therapist today, and I noticed some unspoken assumptions that can sometimes get in the way of finding someone who's a good fit for your recovery needs, especially around deciding what specializations to look for when no one covers the full range of your crazy. So a list of things to think about that -- as always -- may or may not be useful to anyone except me.

1) On overlapping specializations Anyone who specializes in ADHD or Autism will also have experience dealing with trauma, because every school system I've ever encountered has been traumatizing for NDs. They may or may not call it trauma in their own minds, but they know how to handle "a bad thing happened in my past and it's fucking up my present" problems.

Likewise, everyone who specializes in trauma has experience with anxiety. PTSD was, until 2013, classified as an anxiety disorder. DSM-V puts it in its own category for presumably good reasons, but everyone with PTSD has anxiety (or close enough that you can't specialize in trauma without knowing how to deal with anxiety).

That said ... 2) On picking your therapist based on vibes

Vibes are really more important than specialization. Specialization is important if, like, you have one (1) specific problem and you are looking for a solution for that problem. Like, if your life is fine except that you have ADHD and the executive dysfunction is causing you to be unable to write English essays, then you definitely want an ADHD specialist. But if your opening session is going to be

Therapist: So what brings you in? Me: Well! -straightens lapels- -pulls out easel- -pulls out prepared presentation notes- I have a list

Or

Therapist: So what brings you in? What changes are you looking to make? Me: This -gestures- Therapist: You just pointed to all of you Me: Yes.

then any generic psychologist is as good as any other. You got shit in your head and you gotta detangle it and it's all snarled together anyway, so it's a lot more important that you find someone who you're willing to be working with for years.

3) On finding "the one"

Odds are really really good that you're gonna have more than one therapist in your recovery arc. I did 2 years with one who specialized in psychological impacts on physical health, and it did so. much. for me, and I don't regret it for a moment, but also ... I reached a point where that wasn't the specialization I needed anymore, and also the shit in my head I needed to deal with was the kind of shit that (for trauma reasons) I couldn't talk about to someone in that therapist's demographic. So I left that practice, and found my current therapist.

My current therapist is great, and I'm really glad I'm working with him, but it's entirely possible that he's not going to be able to sort out this entire mess. We may reach a point where his specialties of relationships and adhd are not my bottlenecks any more, and he doesn't really have the tools he needs to handle what my next bottleneck is, and I'll go find someone else who can meet my needs at that time. This is normal and expected, and it's entirely fine to plan on it by (for example) deciding that you want a specialist in this thing right now, and you'll go find a specialist in this other thing later.

4) On Shopping

It's entirely reasonable to have more than one therapist this week. You are in no way expected or required to pick a single therapist based off of some profile pictures, a bio on the website, and a phone call, and then you're stuck with them forever. It is normal and understood that you will set up appointments with half a dozen therapists, and then pick two (or three) to do another session with, before settling into a single choice. Or don't! If you like two therapists for different reasons, and you'd rather work with them simultaneously instead of serially, then feel free to schedule with twice as many therapists, half as often. This ain't a wedding; you don't have to restrict yourself to only one.

Narrow down your choices as quickly as you want to based on your anxiety about not having a decision, based on your executive dysfunction and inability to track multiple things, based on how you feel about each one ... but don't narrow them down to one just because you think that's "the rules", somehow.

5) On Being Abrasive

If you know, upfront, what some of your dealbreakers are, just straight-up say that as you're scheduling the appointment or in the first session. My last therapist became a problem for me because she expressed empathy in a way that was too similar to the way my abuser used weaponized politeness to deny me boundaries; I couldn't talk to her about my violations because her demeanor was too similar to the person who violated me. So when I first talked to my current therapist, I told him, "I need someone who, if they think I'm full of shit, will say 'I think you're full of shit.'" He replied "One of my other clients calls me 'Deadpool'." I said, "Perfect. Let's give it a shot."

So if you really care that someone will let you schedule appointments online, or will never touch your wrist, or will treat your "disorder" as a neurodivergence to be accommodated rather than a problem to be solved, then say so. The sooner you both know that, the better: if you have particular needs, they need to know that now; and if they're not willing to meet your needs, YOU need to know that now.

(You will not, of course, always know your dealbreakers upfront. When I picked my first therapist, my primary problem was hip pain, and I didn't know it was PTSD. It was through her help that I realized that (a) I had trauma and (b) she was way too like my abuser for me to treat PTSD with her. This was not a failure. This was a massive success, because learning that was what allowed me to find someone who could help me (see point #3). It's fine if you don't know, right now, what you need -- that's part of why vibes are so important (see point #2). But whatever information you can give them, it is helpful to do so, and (despite what people in your past have implied) it is not rude, it is beneficial and desired.

6 - not advice, just a reminder

You are beautiful and brave and strong and I am so proud of you for fighting through all the shit -- both internal and external -- to get yourself help. No one ever talks about how hard it is to get to the point where you schedule that first meeting with that first therapist, and I want you to know that it is painful, it is challenging, and you're not lazy or stupid or whatever other lie your brain is telling you.

[b-blushes]

feeling so balloon going to burst atm (hospital/medical/chronic illness/disability stuff. not good vibes (i'm fine though! except for in my feelings! :P))

next week i'm meeting a new specialist who is 'far away' and we are leaving 2.5 hours early to get to the appointment and i'm so scared style. it's so exhausting and i'm so frustrated with myself! i'm really glad that i get to go, and i want to go, i found the dr researched the hospital sent the emails booked the appointment all the stuff but i don't want to need to go u know. i don't like it. i'm so grateful to be going and i also just don't want this to be my life at all. both my parents are taking me, i appreciate this so much. i'm so stressed about being 'high risk' (amongst other things, i have a heart condition) and going so far from home and spending so much time in the car and we'll have to eat lunch and this will have to happen in the carpark of the hospital because i am not going to eat anywhere indoors with anyone and it's annoying to wear a mask for hours in the car and it's all FINE, i can do it and nothing bad will probably happen but i'm so sick of being so scared about it and also of being the cautious sensible one who is imposing precautions on everyone else. i hate it, and i hate hating it.

it's hard not to get hung up on the negative side of it all. this is why i'm frustrated about it! i feel like i should be better about it, don't need to be already getting wound up about it 2 weeks before any appointment and even worse the week before. don't need to be drifting out of touch with friends or just checking in rather than being able to properly be myself and talk because i'm so out of my self about it but also at the same time not even feeling like i am, just that the dots are not connecting in my brain. i don't feel like i should be so scared about waking up 2 hours before normal to leave on time because the appointment is so 'early', and that waking up so 'early' shouldn't make me as ill as it historically has. i just don't want to be so scared about it all, but i truly don't see how i can not be. and also there is the blinkers mode of being Like This (I don't even know what the feeling or words for it are) of knowing that i'm not being able to see the whole breadth of the (or any similar) situation when i'm in this headspace, but also not being able to force myself to see outside it because i'm In Here. I don't want to take medication about it because i've already got a lot going on with my body and historically nothing i've tried in this vein has worked for me, I don't see how therapy would stop it, because i can get through it and feel like i am already using all the techniques i can to make sure that i'm not acting in ways that are harmful to myself and actively am trying to soothe myself as much as i can - i don't feel that i need any aids to get through it, the only thing i can imagine truly wanting is a way to feel fine about it and i don't know how that can happen because the root of it is triggering symptoms and bad medical experiences and i don't think that i as a chronically ill disabled person continuing to engage with healthcare can guarantee either of those things.

I might be so so wrong but that feels like the best thing I can do is continue to try through all the parts that i can influence to bank as many positive experiences as i can, and hopefully at some point they will tip the balance and then it won't be a whole thing. I guess ultimately it's like that saying of 'someone who is anxious doesn't need to feel calm, they need to feel safe', and while i am doing everything i can currently think of to give this to myself, i do not control all the variables. Part of my worry and frustration about it all too is that my conception about the whole topic is also wrong, and that i'm standing in the way of improving things for myself and thus everyone who i am interacting with especially in the focussed time period where i'm preparing for another appointment. I guess the crux of it is that i wish i was doing a better job of dealing with the uncertainty and the response that past bad experiences have resulted in, and that i don't know how or if i can do better, that it feels like the difficulties that i am having are my own fault, and that having doubts about whether i could do better means i could and i'm choosing not to. and no-one else can absolve me of this WHICH SUCKS!!!! :P

good grief. anyway. i'm just trying to do my best while this is all constantly running background in my head, and feeling like my best kind of sucks at best but also that it is my best. which also sucks because it should be better. guy who is tormenting themself voice. IT PROBABLY WON'T EVEN BE ANYTHING TO BE SCARED OF!!!!! and that pisses me off too tbh because then it's like congrats you did a whole stupid thing about NOTHING. AGAIN. Trying to find the balance between being nice to yourself and being lenient with negative effects. i am challenged by this.

TLDR scared of da hospital. hate to be scared of it.

have not even touched on in this post the implications of the actual appointment. also having a lot of fears that how i am currently trying to live is not sustainable and reckoning with being told flatout that i am not managing a chronic pain condition that i have been seeking care for for years yet somehow had not conceptualised myself as having said chronic pain condition, thus consequently failing to manage it, and dealing with the 'shame' of that. not my sole failure but a big chunk of it is on me. And not sure what to change to do a better job of managing my conditions. just really feels like i'm fumbling it atm and 'it' is my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway. Ideally, new specialist will be able to give another assessment from a new perspective of the gravity of my fumbling or lack thereof. And give me some guidance from their experience of diagnosing and treating people with one of the conditions that i have that they are an expert in. It would be really neat to discuss with him how abnormal or completely predictable my uhh level of disability is given his expertise, and also what, if anything, i can do about it. Whilst also keeping in mind that he is just one guy. good grief. Double anyway. I'll be up so early that i might be able to see the sunrise, so that'll be neat! and i don't really get to leave the house much so it's always really nice to see so much SCENERY from the car window when i get to go somewhere :3 And maybe i won't feel so sick and i will get to enjoy nice car ride and have a delicious sandwich in the carpark and it will be peace and love on planet me.

[sap-woods]

I feel so, so defeated. My partner is on vacation, so I've been alone for about a week now. Work has really been a series of annoying problems for the past couple weeks — and I've had to involve my supervisor, which I have rarely had to do at all this year. Nothing I could have prevented, but I just really wish it wasn't this week that my name keeps popping up in her email due to problems, because we're about to get our placement assignments for next year, and I will honestly be really devastated if I get moved to a new site at work.

So I worked all through the weekend to try and get through some of the mess. Then I had a 3 hour dentist appointment on Monday. The only things I've been looking forward to have been going to my choir, should have been tonight, getting a haircut, which was scheduled for tomorrow, the weekend, which is supposed to be properly warm, and my partner coming home, on Monday.

But no. I just got my first ever positive covid test (from that wretched dentist appointment, perhaps...). I'm extremely grateful not to infect my partner, because she had a terrible time with covid... and I'm glad not to need to quarantine in a 1-bedroom apartment. But I feel so tired and I really wish someone else could clean the cat litter tonight. And make dinner. And do the laundry. And I feel so, so, miserable thinking about not seeing her for even longer than I thought. With shaggy overgrown hair. And if my autoimmune disease flares up (which the specialist I see told me it likely would with covid, or any cold/flu) perhaps some pain, too.

Work isn't even in a state where I can take a sick day right now... So I'm just going to work for free, but from home for once, for my last two remaining sick days. Then take a weekend that should have been fun and warm outside with a fresh haircut, awaiting my partner's return, and spend it completely indoors. Then, come Monday, not see my partner when she gets home, and decide whether I'd like to take an unpaid sick day and keep falling further behind, or risk infecting everyone at work.

Bleh. I probably should take some time for some gratitudes... like I have two legs that work for the most part, I have good doctor if I do have a flare up who will help me, summer is coming, my cat is really good, I have a whole house to quarantine in, I've had three offers already from friends/family to drop stuff off if I need it, I will see my partner again pretty soon, I will be fine, this will all pass...

...but man, this stinks!

[abundanceofsoph]

SkyFire 3: Chapter 17

The Judges House: August 2018

Word count: 2.2k

SkyFire 3 MASTERLIST

Before leaving London at the end of August, Aurora made an appointment with her obgyn and had a series of blood tests and ultrasounds completed to confirm whether or not she was pregnant after the first round of insemination.  Once she received the results, she and Harry flew to New York ahead of the contestants and crew so that they could spend a few days with Rori’s parents and the rest of the Avengers.

As always, Aurora was overjoyed to be home and the moment she stepped out of the elevator and into the penthouse, she was swept up in a bone crushing hug by Steve, as had become their tradition. He barely set her back on her feet before Tony pulled her against him in a tight hug of his own.

“Careful, you two,” she warned. “There’s precious cargo on board.”

They both pulled back from the hug for a moment in confusion, staring at her for a moment  as they processed her words, and she was glad she’d thought to ask Harry to film this on his phone when she saw the way both Steve and Tony’s eyes welled with tears as her words sank in.

“Really?” Steve croaked, his voice thick with emotion.

“Really,” Aurora replied with a grin that had her cheeks aching. “I’m pregnant.”

They pulled her back towards them in a hug, although she noticed the way they squeezed her a little less this time.

“I don’t understand,” Steve mumbled in confusion, his brows pinched tightly together. “All of the specialists told us that this was going to take several rounds…”

“I guess they never took into account that super soldier serum of yours babe,” Tony replied as they all headed for the living room sofas.

“I just can’t believe it’s really happening,” Steve admitted. “We’re having a baby.”

The rest of the day was spent with neither Steve nor Tony more than a few meters from Rori at any moment, and neither of them could stop thanking her continuously as the day passed. Eventually the sun set and the rest of the Avengers started appearing in the Penthouse as dinner neared. Aurora had set herself up on a barstool at the breakfast bar so that Steve could prepare dinner without feeling too far from her.

xXx

Originally Tony had planned for he and Steve to vacation in Miami for the week while Rori would be filming in the Tower so that they would be out of the way, but with the news of the baby they decided to stay in NYC. They had accepted that with Aurora in London for the show, they would miss a great deal of the pregnancy so they were eager to make the most of her being home in New York briefly and were already planning their visits to London over the next few months. For her part, Rori took their smothering in stride as she knew that they were just excited.

They had almost a full day to dote on her after the announcement the previous evening before the film crew arrived and started setting up in the living room of the penthouse, ensuring that the wide expansive view of Central Park would be perfectly captured in the back of the shot. While all of this preparation was done, the contestants flew in from London and were sent off on a sightseeing tour of the city before they got to work early  the following day.

xXx

That next morning, the contestants were filmed walking through Central Park before they exited at the Maine Monument in the shadow of Avengers Tower. They all acted surprised when Aurora was standing on the street corner to greet them, rushing forward to hug their mentor.

“So what do you think of my city, Girls?” Rori asked. The answering squeals caused her to chuckle before gesturing for them to cross the road. “Come on, let’s go.”

There was no faking the shock and awe of the young girls as they entered the lobby of the tower and then took the private elevator up to the Penthouse floor. Rori remembered well her own feelings of awe when she stepped out of the lift and into the Penthouse for the first time. It had been before the remodel after the Battle of New York, but the impact was still much the same. The camera’s captured the excitement and awe on the contestants faces as they took in the opulent room and the glass wall which provided the sweeping view of Central Park laid out beneath them. Aurora took a moment to take in the familiar locations she could see bordering the park. The Aquavella gallery, her old high school LaGuardia High, the Belvedere Castle, and off in the distance she could just catch a glimpse of the Columbia campus.

“Welcome to Manhattan, Girls,” Aurora announced, “and welcome to Avengers Tower. So far in the competition it’s all been about being on stage and performing in front of big crowds, but today I want to strip all of that back and just really get a sense of who each of you are. What I’m looking for today is your passion, your range and your control. If you can deliver that, then I know you’ll be able to take on the live shows and take it all the way to the finals.”

The girls all looked amongst themselves anxiously before following Aurora over to the couches arranged for them in the living room. Rori didn’t join them on the couch, and instead walked over to where the chairs were set aside. “Of course, picking who will be joining me in the live shows is a really big decision and one I definitely can’t make alone, so I’ve got a special guest joining us to help me judge your performances today. He’s an award winning, multi-platinum selling artist, who has performed sold out shows on almost every continent, but most importantly of all he’s the opinion in trust more than my own, Girls please give a warm welcome to my husband, Harry Styles.”

“It’s lovely to meet you all,” Harry said once the excited squeals had died down. “I’ve been exactly where you are now and I know how terrifying this moment is. Just remember that you made it this far because you have something special and that you’ve earned your place. Just sing from the heart and you’ll be ok.”

“Molly, I’d love for you to kick things off for us love,” Rori announced once she and Harry had taken their seats. “Why don’t you introduce yourself, and tell Harry a bit about yourself?”

As each girl took their turn in front of Aurora and Harry, she grew more and more uncertain about who she wanted to pick to continue in the competition. Each of the contestants had incredible voices and moving stories and Rori hated the idea of being the person to take their dream away from them. She was relieved when they finished filming the girls segments and they were ushered out of the Tower to have dinner on the upper east side.

“Harry, what am I going to do?” Rori asked once the elevator lifts slid closed. “How on earth am I going to pick who to send home?”

“I think you have to trust your gut love,” Harry replied, conscious of the camera’s still capturing every moment of their conversation. “They each have something special, but they also have a lot to learn. Which of them do you think you can teach?”

“I feel like Bella has something special about her,” Rori mused. “She’s got such an energy and I want to see where we can take that together.”

“One down, 3 to go,” Harry nodded. “Shan has an incredible voice and she’s clearly got a lot of guts to come here today and sing an original song in front of you.”

“And it was good,” Rori agreed. “So Bella and Shan are in, which only leaves 2 more spots.”

“Any ideas?”

“None,” Aurora admitted, “They are all fantastic. I have no idea what to do.”

“Why don’t we go join them for dinner and then you can sleep on it and maybe you’ll feel more sure of your choice in the morning.”

Aurora agreed with her husband's plan and they both left the tower with the camera crew in tow to join the 6 girls for dinner.

xXx

The following day Aurora walked a few blocks from the tower with one of the camera crew to accompany her as she headed off to meet with her contestants. It was a sunny day and she silently hoped that she looked as confident as she was pretending to be as she walked down 7th avenue. The 6 Girls were waiting for her on the side walk when she arrived and she happily accepted the group hug. “Ladies, welcome to one of my favourite places in New York, the famous Carnegie Hall. Let’s head inside.”

They were guided through the building and out onto the main stage, looking out over the empty rows of red velvet chairs. The contestants looked around in awe, and Aurora herself found it all a bit breathtaking. “Some of the greatest musicians in history have stood on this stage and commanded their audience. Each of you, for your own personal reasons, dreams of your moment, and while 4 of you will have the opportunity to continue on this journey with me, unfortunately 2 of you will not be joining us in the live shows.”

The 6 contestants instinctively reached for each other, all holding hands and their breath for what Aurora would say next.

“Harry and I deliberated this decision for a very long time last night and even this morning on the walk over here, I still wasn’t 100% certain I’ve made the right choice, but one thing we did decided on is that Harry’s least favourite part of being a contestant back in the day was waiting in another room as one by one each person got told their fate. So I won’t put you through all that and instead I’m just going to tell you all together. Bella and Shan… You will be joining me in the live shows.”

Bella launched herself into Shan’s arms, both girls gripping each other tightly as they celebrated.

“But of course that only leaves 2 more places on my team,” Rori pointed out as the tension continued to build. “Maria and Georgia… I’m sorry ladies, but this isn’t your year. Congratulations Scarlett and Molly.”

There were a lot of tears following her announcement and Rori was quickly pulled into hugs.

“I’m so sorry,” she told the illuminated contestants. “I’m so sorry, please don’t give up after this.”

xXx

Aurora and Harry remained in New York for a few more days and while they were still in town, the first Audition episodes began airing. Aurora was nervous for the audience response, given how a lot of people had been very vocal on Twitter when she was announced as a judge.

◊Ella: Here as always with the latest episode of ‘what you missed on twitter’

◊Aurora: God do I even want to know?

◊Ella: People think you’re funny and the directioners are loving seeing you and Lou together.

◊Aurora: What… no hate?

◊Ella: eh, there’s always gonna be some loud arseholes but they're in the minority

◊Aurora: What are they saying?

◊Ella: Nope. We’re focusing on the good comments and we’re ignoring the dickheads.

◊Aurora: That means it’s pretty bad…

◊Ella: You’re your own worst enemy. Let’s have coffee when you’re home on Thursday and I’ll give you the full run down in person yeah?

◊Aurora: Fine. I’ll settle for Thursday. Meet you at the stag at 4?

◊Ella: Make it 4:30 and I’ll see you there.

◊Aurora: Love you E.

◊Ella: Love you too, A.

xXx

After returning to London, the beginning of September was spent in vocal lessons with the contestants and continuing to film extra video packages for upcoming episodes. More of the audition episodes aired and the public started picking out favourites among the contestants. They also seemed to love the dynamic between Louis and Aurora.

The pair  were having lunch together one afternoon at the studios where the show was based when Simon approached them.

“Have either of you been on Twitter lately?” he asked after sitting down at their table.

“I left Twitter years ago,” Rori answered, sparing a quick glance at Louis while they both tried to figure out what Simon wanted. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh nothing’s wrong,” Simon replied. “Quite the opposite actually. The audience is loving you two during the auditions. So I want you to lean into your friendship and really act it up when we start the live shows.”

“We’re not acting Simon,” Louis scoffed.

“If people liked the way we interact, shouldn't we just keep being ourselves?” Rori added.

“Of course,” he backtracked. “I’m not trying to say you should fake anything and obviously you're very close. I just want you to lean into that and really let those interactions shine when you’re on camera.”

Louis rolled his eyes. “Yeah sure thing mate, will do.”

“Excellent,” Simon nodded with a smug grin. “I knew I made a great decision getting both of you on to judge.”

“Uggh,” Aurora scoffed after watching Simon stand up and walk away. “God he’s gross.”

"What a dickhead," Louis agreed.

NEXT CHAPTER

OR CONTINUE READING ON AO3

[timeoverload]

I got my bill paid and the lawsuit dropped and it took me less than 5 minutes. I told you I didn't need your help, anon. I also paid 3 other bills and got those out of the way. I don't think I have any other ones in collections as far as I know other than the debt that I had consolidated a few years ago. I'm getting close to having that paid off too. I need to pay the spine specialist and I need to pay for my x-ray but those bills aren't overdue yet so I'm planning on paying for those with my next paycheck. I think I am going to get back on track faster than I thought. I'm glad I don't use a credit card anymore so I don't have to worry about that too.

I just need to take a deep breath sometimes and believe in myself. I know I am a very smart and independent woman. I know I am capable of achieving my goals because I have done it so many times before. I need to try to stop letting my anxiety get the best of me.

I am going to figure out my budget sometime this weekend to see if I can afford to go to my appointment next week. I think I will be able to if I'm frugal but I want to be sure. I don't want to do it right now. I also don't know how much my car is going to cost to fix yet.

I don't think there is a problem with Harry's license either because I checked online last night and it said that he wasn't due for renewal. I know I paid for it. I think I might just be losing my mind. I guess I'm not going to worry about it unless I get anything else in the mail.

I hope no one else tries to piss me off today because I would not respond well to that. I didn't feel like I could relax at all last night so I need to try to do that today. My blood pressure has been way too high. I also woke up way earlier than I wanted to because I wanted to get shit done. I probably should avoid the internet for a little while so I can calm down. I am happy that I don't have any obligations for the rest of the day. I'm sure I will feel better later.

I apologize to everyone else for my mood. I hope you all have a great day. :) 💖💖💖

[discoveringthebible]

On Patience and Endurance

James 1:2-5, New Living Translation

2: Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3: For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4: So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect, and complete, needing nothing.

5: If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. 

Galatians 5:22-23, New Living Translation

22: But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23: gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

Hebrews 12:1-2, New Living Translation

1: Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. 2: We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now  he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.

I have gone through a considerable amount of crap since Thanksgiving day. And I’m going to admit, my patience and endurance is wearing quite thin. I broke down and cried today and I may do it again later.

Here is a quick list of everything that I have been going through:

- Thanksgiving night received a call that my great aunt Bev was terminally ill (today is actually her birthday)

- Sunday after Thanksgiving Auntie Bev passed away

- Mid December received a call that my mom’s sister, Rose was terminally ill. The next day she passed away. Found out later she had been in the hospital since Thanksgiving and never knew. 

- Early January found out that my dad’s uncle, great-uncle Wade had passed away from severe health complications. 

-Because of severe weather, we were not able to attend Uncle Wade’s funeral, and ended up being pretty much the only family not there. (I am glad everyone had made it safe)

- In February, I was able to see a hip specialist for a hip condition. I waited 1 year to see this hip doctor. During his examination, I became injured and he believed I had a tear in my hip, but was told I could work on it.

-I worked on my hip for about 6 weeks, with debilitating pain. I had xrays and MRIs and then he immediately placed me on 12 week disability with my job because my hip was in much worse shape than he originally believed it to be. 

-I requested to have a second opinion by a surgeon, because the hip doctor wanted to “band aid” the situation, I wanted a reasonable solution. Physical therapy and pain injections would not fix my problem. 

-First hip surgeon called me 2 days before my appointment at the end of April and said my case was too complicated for him and he would not see me as a patient. 

-Because of the second opinion, the first doctor dropped me as a patient, before filling out the disability paperwork I needed for my job and for the state so I could get money while I was out of work. 

-I was removed from my two ministries because of a difference in theology with the Church of the Nazarene. 

-I left my church and I left the Church of the Nazarene. 

-Had to make an  appointment with my doctor to get disability paperwork and new referral. My doctor filled out paperwork for disability for my job and the state.

-Third referral for my hip was denied in mid May. I cannot even remember the reason.

-I found a new church and a new church denomination to worship in. 

-Fourth referral for my hip was denied in the beginning of June because they were full, they could not accept new patients. They didn’t have many doctors who could even see me because of my unique case. 

-Got off the phone today with the new referral. Turns out they will not see me because of the type of insurance I have. 

-I have an appointment on Monday with my doctor to do a new referral (again) and to hopefully extend my disability. My work will not allow me to return until I am cleared to work because of the possibility of injuring myself while on the job. 

Right now, I am holding onto hope. I know that all this crap is temporary. And I have felt God in every step of the way, but I am also tired. I am tired of fighting to get the aid that I need to get better. I am currently using a cane to help me walk. I cannot walk far and I cannot do what I used to be able to do at the beginning of the year. 

Until today, there was something I had read a lot in the Bible, but I didn’t fully understand, but now I do because I am in the middle of many, many trials. (Especially Verse 4, I am seeing in a new light)

Romans 5:1-5, New Living Translation

1: Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. 2: Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. 

3: We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4: And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. 5: And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. 

If you are struggling, like I am, with everything seemingly going wrong, hold on to hope. God is with us every step of the way. This is something that I am absolutely sure of. And this struggling, this pain, these problems are temporary. They will end. 

Peace, Love and Blessings

Cody Marie

[not-poignant]

I just opened utb to read the latest chapter and saw your notes- before I go any further I wanted to say I’m sorry to hear about your latest medical news. I know you’ve been living with these kind of conditions for a while but I’m sure it’s still difficult and I hope you can find some respite between things. If it’s any comfort, your writing always brings me a lot of joy x

Hi anon,

Thank you so much <3

Unfortunately it never gets easier, and a lot of the time it gets harder. I've gone onto 3 new prescription medications this year, putting me up to about 9-10 daily prescription medicines (not including supplements). They don't always play nice with each other, and it's tough kind of balancing it all.

I'm also just tired of seeing specialists and paying for them. Australia has some socialised welfare, but then otherwise it's all full price and I have no medical insurance (a lot of people here don't, because workplaces don't offer it, and it's not standard). In some cases, I have to choose to see a specialist privately and pay $350 for an appointment, so that I'm not waiting 6-9 months to see a specialist for something urgent, and get the scans publicly, which means the scans and tests are free. And while I'm lucky to have that, I've had to see a lot of specialists this year, and I'm like...the most financially broke I've been in over a decade, and it's not about to end any time soon. :(

Next year, among other things, I'll have to see a pulmonary/lung specialist and attend a respiratory clinic, and I'll be finding out if I have pulmonary hypertension on top of COPD (which I was diagnosed with this week). I need to still get head/neck MRIs for my tumours. Blood tests on a regular basis. I need an iron infusion because I'm anemic again. I need a knee MRI. I need a triphasic hepatic CT scan. My doctor doesn't want to give me many more tests with radiation because I've had 6 weeks of head/neck radiotherapy in the past, as well as multiple PET, CT scans and X-rays, and I'm very much at the 'the tests we're giving you will give you cancer' stage.

But anyway, not only is it difficult, it becomes more and more difficult the more illnesses there are. I've been diagnosed with two more progressive and incurable diseases on top of everything else this week, and have to get a scan to rule out possible liver cancer (I'm hoping it's not that, but my head/neck tumours can metastasise at any point, so it...could be that).

2022 has been an extremely unkind year, and at this rate, 2023 isn't shaping up to be any kinder. :(

I'm glad I can do the writing, but actually, this month I am not really pressuring myself to write at all, and haven't written anything yet. Y'all are just really lucky that I wrote some chapters in advance and can keep up a steady pace for December. But I have nothing for January, lol. x.x

[lillywillow]

Fatherhood

Summary: Steve wants to be the best dad ever for his baby

 Word Count: 1344

 Square Filled: Pregnancy

 Pairings: Steve x Female Reader

 Warnings: Pregnancy, fluff

Written for @star spangled bingo

 Being married to Steve was an absolute dream. He was everything you could ever want in a husband and more. While you were still dating, the subject of starting a family had been brought up but life got in the way and the thought had been put on the backburner. After your wedding, the subject was once again up for discussion. People gave you all sorts of advice to help, some utterly ridiculous and some practical but you knew if you listened to all of it at once, you and Steve would drive yourselves mad. You decided if you weren’t pregnant by a certain timeframe, you would make an appointment to be checked by a specialist. Fortunately, that would not be nessacary...

...

 When you woke that morning, you had a good feeling about the day. You headed into the bathroom to take a pregnancy test. After a while, Steve became a little worried about you as you normally would walk out into the kitchen to greet him. He knocked on the bathroom door.

 “Y/N? You okay? You’ve been in there a while...”

 You opened the door with the stick in your hand.

 “Steve... look...”

 Steve took the item from your hand and looked at the two parallel lines.

 “Does this mean...?”

 With a smile, you teared up and nodded.

 “It’s positive...”

 “We’re going to be parents!”

 Steve hugged you tight and kissed your face all over. You couldn’t stop smiling.

...

 Over the next few weeks, you told everyone you knew about your upcoming arrival. Once again, people offered their advice, even if some of it was pointless but the number one thing people offered was help which you were grateful for.

 The first thing you did was convert the study into a nursery. It took a while but eventually you got all the old furniture out of the room and painted the walls a soft eggshell with the help of your friends. Steve told you he had a surprise for you and for days he worked tirelessly on it, not even allowing you to enter the nursery until he was done.

 Finally one day, he took you into the room to show you his work.

 “What do you think?” he asked, showing you the beautiful mural he painted.

 On the back wall, Steve had created an adorable pond scene. A white duck was swimming in the middle surrounded by her little yellow babies. A happy green frog sat on a lily-pad near some cattail reeds and water lilies. Every detail had been lovingly drawn with such fine brushstrokes.

 “I love it...”

 “Do you think our baby will too?”

 “I’m sure baby will, my darling,” you smiled, placing a hand on his cheek. Steve smiled and kissed you softly, placing his hand on your tummy. He couldn’t wait for your baby to get here.

...

 A few weeks later, you went in for a health check. Steve had missed the last few appointments due to work so he was determined to come to this one. You went in when your names were called and the doctor prepared everything. Steve helped you up onto the examination table and held your hand as the doctor put the gel onto your belly. Instantly, the baby’s heartbeat could be heard when the scanner was applied to the gel.

 “What’s that noise?” Steve asked, making you smile.

 “That’s the baby’s heartbeat,” the doctor confirmed.

 Steve gasped softly and his eyes widened in wonder.

 “That has to be the most beautiful sound I ever heard...” He teared up a little and squeezed your hand.

 “Would you like to know the gender of the baby?” This had been a conversation you had early on in your pregnancy so you already knew your answer.

 “No, thank you. We would like to leave it as a surprise.”

 “Okay. Well, everything looks great so far. We’ll schedule another appointment for you and if you have any questions or concerns, just call.”

 “We will. Thank you, Doctor.”

 With that, another appointment was made and you headed out of the office and headed home.

...

 Once you were home, Steve helped you to your room for a rest. Lately you had been feeling exhaustion set in easier than it used to. After he had made sure you were comfortable on the bed, Steve laid down beside you so he could talk to the baby, placing one hand on your bump.

 “Hi, little one. I’m your daddy. I’m so, so excited that you’re on your way and- oh!” Steve was interrupted by a tiny movement against his hand.

 “Was that...?”

 “I think so...”

 “Baby’s first kick!” Steve grinned and kissed your tummy, inciting another kick from the baby against his hand. “This is amazing!”

 You grinned and ran your fingers through his hair.

 “What’s with that look, Y/N?”

 “You’re the cutest. The baby isn’t even here yet and already you’re gushing over their smallest achievements... plus you’re taking such good care of me and taking care of my needs...”

 “I love you, Y/N and this little life right here... this is an extension of that love. I want to be the best dad ever. Teach them everything they need to know, be there for them when they need me... With you by my side, I feel like I can reach that goal...”

 You found yourself tearing up at his words. Smiling, Steve leant forward and kissed you softly, the baby still kicking away at his hand.

...

 During your eighth month of pregnancy, your family threw you a baby shower at a relative’s place in the countryside. The party had been a lot of fun with everyone who attended, playing games, eating food and some of them bringing presents. You watched as the some of the kids ran around, playing in the mud. They were all laughing and squealing in joy until one of them got stuck and started to panic. Being the closest one to the scene, you waddled over to help. With one hand on your belly, you managed to get onto your knees and stretched out your hand. The boy grabbed your fingers but it wasn’t enough.

 “Y/N!” Steve screamed. He ran over to help you out of the mud before extracting the stuck child.

 You still held your stomach as you felt strong pains.

 “Steve... Steve something doesn’t feel right...”

 “Hold on, Y/N. I’m taking you to the hospital.”

 Steve abruptly told your family that you needed medical assistance and fast.

...

 When you got to the hospital, you were taken in to be examined. Fortunately, it would only prove to be strong Braxton Hicks contractions but they still wanted to keep you in for observations. Steve informed your family on your condition and promised to keep them updated. He sat by your side, putting an arm around him.

 “I’m so glad that it was just a false alarm,” he sighed.

 “Me too. That was really scary...”

 “Why didn’t you come get me? I could have handled it...”

 “I wasn’t thinking. Besides I’m not the one who constantly puts themself in danger, Mr. I-jump-out-of-planes-without-a-parachute-and-run-into-burning-builsings-every-other-day-of-the-week.”

 Steve chuckled and kissed your head.

 “I may do those things but I’m not the one carrying precious cargo.”

 “That is true... Steve, can we not argue? The important thing is I’m okay and baby is okay.”

 “You’re right. You’re both safe and that’s all that matters.”

...

 One month after that incident, you safely gave birth to your beautiful little baby and Steve was absolutely over the moon. He couldn’t believe that the moment he had finally been waiting all these months for was finally here. Steve never left your side the whole time, holding your hand, stroking your hair; being the supportive husband he been throughout your whole pregnancy. As he held your child for the first time, Steve knew he couldn’t wait to start the next stage into fatherhood.

[itwasadhdallalong]

Intro Post

I’m 32, female, from New Zealand and was recently diagnosed with ADHD. I have three kids and my oldest (my son) was diagnosed probably about 4 years ago. At the time he was diagnosed his specialist lady (forget her title) said when a child is diagnosed, usually one or both the parents will have it too. At the time, I thought of his dad, who I’m no longer with.

About three years earlier, after the birth of my second child, I was first told I was depressed and was given antidepressants. Later when they didn’t help I went to a mental health clinic thing and was diagnosed with Bipolar. I don’t even know which type but I knew it was wrong. They gave me meds. Didn’t help but made me sleepy and zombie-like all the time. I researched it and it made no sense, but when researching that I found BPD and convinced myself it was that, because it sounded close to what I experienced. Not exact but close enough, so what else would it be, right? My next appointment I told them they were wrong and I didn’t have bipolar but bpd. He said ‘I believe you’ and I was given more meds. Didn’t help. I stopped taking them when I fell pregnant again and I never went back on any medication for my mental health. I’ve been generally stable in my mental health anyway, just the lows and big lows (but over soon) and my mood can change very quickly.

Over the years I did more research in order to better understand ADHD and my kid and wouldn’t you know, I could relate to a lot of this stuff. Particularly the way it manifests in girls and women. Naturally I started to have suspicions but I kept it to myself and kept researching.

Over the past couple of years I became pretty convinced I had ADHD but I felt like a total imposter telling people about it at first. This year I started actually discussing the possibility with people. I wanted to get diagnosed but at the moment general practitioners aren’t referring people unless they are in crisis (and you can’t just say you’re in crisis when you have children). Luckily, I came into a bit of money and was able to go private.

I couldn’t see a psychiatrist due to them being so overloaded at the moment, especially the ones that specialise in adult ADHD. I guess so many people are realising that it fits them and going for assessment. So they had me see a psychologist, who can diagnose but can’t prescribe medication.

My first appointment was her verbally asking me the questions on three different scales/tests and me not being able to do yes or no answers because context is important. I didn’t get a diagnosis that day, because she had to score my tests.

Days later she told me she needed to speak to either my partner or one of my parents to see more about what I was like. My partner, despite being diagnosed as a kid doesn’t really believe how ADHD impacts people and my dad wasn’t in my life much so my mum it was. We did an hour long zoom call where she asked mum questions about me as a child and now and then I waited. And waited… she told me I needed to fill out one more scale that someone else would be emailing me. I didn’t get it but figured they were busy. A week later after obsessively checking my inbox I finally told my psychologist I hadn’t received it and she said it was sent a week prior… I hadn’t received it. So they sent it again, I filled it out, and about a week later she emailed me to tell me my assessments were all in line with a diagnosis of ADHD. So now, I just have to see a psychiatrist when one is available so they can look into medication options with me.

I have said the words ‘I have ADHD’ only once since then, in my car, by myself. I have told people but I haven’t said it out loud, I’m still dealing with imposter syndrome. But I’m starting to realise all the weird shit I’ve always done or hated or whatever is because I’m actually fucking neurodivergent. And you know what, I’m so glad I know now because I spent 32 years thinking and being told I was weird and I have never loved any of those things about myself but I’m slowly starting to accept my weird traits because other people have them too. I’m not alone! It was ADHD all along!

[iateyourwaffles]

Hey. I haven’t been here for a while. Almost for about half a year, I think. I’m sorry. My mental health hasn’t been very well since sometime around late last year, as well as my physical health. I’m sorry for disappearing for a while. I’ve been having lots of physical pain and d/ental pain since late last year, around the holidays. I had lots of appointments for d/octors and d/entists and such throughout early this year during winter. After that though, I was still in pain, I went back to my d/entist and they said that I had to go see a specialist. I went to see one, had to go to a big hospital, and I was diagnosed with a muscular joint issue which affects the face and mouth. I have to live with it, unfornately, but my specialist said that there’s ways to treat it, like to help ease the pain. Also I have to go through a clea/ning next month, and I’m a bit worried, cause my mouth, jaw, and t/eeth are usually always in pain, and my t/eeth are sensitive due to my joint issues. I would like to get it worked though, cause I drink coffee and tea often, and I have some v/isible stains that are quite hard to clean. I have been having anxiety and been worrying a lot about my t/eeth and bones and such ever since I have been diagnosed with this issue. I can hardly eat these days and sometimes it’s hard to open my mouth too wide. I may also have a nerve issue but I need to go to a certain d/octor for that.

 Now days, I have been trying to avoid getting too worked up. I get stressed easily and upset easily. I was diagnosed with emotional disorder when I was very young, so I cry easily and such. I’m also autistic. I get a bit overwhelmed at times and I let stuff get to me. I got upset a while back, cause I was treated like a k/id, and I personally don’t like that too much, cause I’m an adult. I don’t mind being called a ‘k/id’, by much older adults though. I just don’t really like being treated like one. I do a lot though cause of the way I act, and the stuff I like, and there’s s/imple things I don’t understand at times. I got a bit upset, and it made my face and jaw hurt a lot. Once I calmed down and had some soup, it settled, though. I feel like when I eat or drink something warm, it helps eases the p/ain a bit. 

My specialist said that I should wear a mouth g/aurd. I tried, but the instructions were hard for me to understand. I tried a bunch of p/ain r/elievers but they didn’t really do much. My specialist p/rescribed me some rexlaxers and they help, and make me sleep, lol. But I have to eat cause sometimes they make me get sick. The last time I went was about a month ago, and they said they wish there was something they could do, but they said I have to go to a different d/octor that specializes in what I have. It’s hard to find one that will ac/cept me. I might have to go to one in the b/igger c/ity somewhere. Also a while after that, I had to stay in my h/ouse for about a week cause one of my family members got s/ick. They are okay now and fully recovered, which is good, cause I was worried. My b/rother gets sick easily and has been sick when he was growing up, so I was worried about him a lot. I’m glad he’s okay. 

So, yeah. I have been going through quite a lot since around the holidays late last year. However, some good things have happend though. My b/rother’s partner adopted a kitten. That and I was a top ra/nk score during an in game e/vent in one of the games I play. I got a t/100 t/itle, which I thought was pretty cool. It made me kinda happy, since I usually don’t really achieve anything. I k/now it’s not much, but as a fan it made me happy. I’m also not very good at games, lol. I also got a few plushies of a character I like. The plushies hasn’t been in the mail yet, but I’m patiently waiting for them to arrive. I also want to cosplay as my favorite character again this year for fall. I haven’t got the costume yet, but I will soon. 

I’m a bit nervous about my next appointment at the d/entist for cleaning, but maybe I’ll be alright. A part of me says I will. I’ve been a bit worried about it that I get b/ad dreams sometimes and I fi/nd it hard to sleep. 

So, that’s what’s been happening. Sorry, for not being here for about h/alf a y/ear. 

[actuallyintro]

Could you write a story where Lorraine faints on a case?

Hi anon! I'm so glad to be back and to have this written for you. When I first started this fic, it started one direction before quickly turning in a completely opposite one. It also ended up being a topic I haven't had the chance to write about much, even though it's pretty popular in this fandom. I hope you enjoy it!

Summary: While on a case one day, Lorraine suddenly faints and ends up waking up in the hospital. Once there, with her husband by her side, they both get some pretty unexpected.. but exciting news.

Wordcount: 1730 words (yes, this was definitely longer than I had originally planned)

Two Is Better Than One

For the past few days, Ed couldn’t help but be worried about his wife. He knew they’d recently started taking on more cases then they had been, but something seemed different. Something he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

They were in the middle of a local case this time, a poltergeist that didn’t seem to want to leave, no matter what they tried. With a family caught in the middle, Ed knew Lorraine wouldn’t stop till she knew all of them were safe.

He often worried that she’d run herself ragged, always worrying about everyone else in her life, forgetting that sometimes she needed to put herself first. He knew it was her nature, being caring and selfless, but Ed just wanted to make sure she never forgot to take care of herself as well.

From the time they started dating, to before they got married, and especially after, he often tried to set aside time just for the two of them. A time with no dangers, no worries, but the chance to just be together. To take care of each other.

While he was worried about Lorraine, he also knew he trusted her judgement. Trusted that she knew her limits, and just how hard she could push herself. He never wanted to undermine that, to show he didn’t. Their relationship was built on trust, it was one of the most important things to both of them. They trusted each other with their lives, at times, it seemed like they trusted each other more than they trusted themselves.

“Ed, can you hand me a flashlight?” He vaguely heard, snapping out of his daydream, refocusing on the current task at hand.

Nodding quickly, he grabbed the extra flashlight, handing it over to her. She looked up at him, concern evident before asking, “Are you alright?”

“Sorry yeah, I’m alright.” He said quickly, Lorraine glancing him up and down, before turning the flashlight on, going back to the task at hand.

She swallowed lightly, as she crawled into one of the crawl-spaces of the house, not quite sure what she was looking for, just hoping she would know once she found it. Lorraine had felt slightly nauseous the last few days, chalking it up to a random bug going around or not drinking enough water. Being in the type of situations she often was, it wasn’t unlikely to catch a cold or to feel under the weather. It came with the job, even if the job was.. unusual.

As she crawled around, she found nothing to help them solve the case they were working on, nothing that helped answer the questions they were trying to solve.

“Find anything Lorraine?” She heard Ed call from above ground.

“No, nothing. But I’m coming back up.” Lorraine said, crawling back the same way she did, when she’d entered the crawl-space. She crawled until she finally saw light peaking through the cracks of the basement, standing up a little too quickly as she made it outside.

She swallowed again as she stood up, suddenly not feeling well. The world seemed like it was spinning, a type of motion she couldn’t control.

Suddenly, before she knew it, the world went dark. Ed’s voice calling for her, being the last thing she heard, before she heard complete silence.

--

Lorraine awoke a few hours later to a faint beeping noise and the feeling of someone else’s hand in her own. Blinking a few times, she looked around the room, connecting that she was currently in a hospital bed, her husband sat next to her.

He had his eyes closed, and she could see a faint tear-track down his face. Frowning slightly, trying to remember exactly what happened, she squeezed his hand as she looked over at him.

Ed quickly opened his eyes, swallowing lightly as he let out a small sigh of relief, looking back at Lorraine, grateful to see her eyes open again.

Neither one of them knew what to say right-away, Ed was still slightly shaken up from watching her faint, knowing that he couldn’t do anything. Lorraine, knowing something wasn’t right, that she shouldn’t have passed out just from standing up too fast.

“Have.. the doctors said anything?” She finally asked quietly, looking down at the IV still in her arm.

Ed shook his head, “They stopped by once when you were still asleep.. mentioning they ran a few tests but they haven’t been back since.” He told her, still feeling nervous about her test results, lightly blaming himself inside for not taking better care of her. Not telling her to rest more or to drink more water.

As if she could hear what he was thinking, she said seriously, “Ed, you know this wasn’t your fault. Please don’t blame yourself.” If it had been under any other circumstances, Ed might have let out a small chuckle, her always knowing what he was thinking. The way neither of them had ever been able to keep things to themselves.

Before he could respond, they both heard a knock at the door, turning to find the doctor on call. They both turned their attention to the door as the doctor walked in. She seemed young but determined, a small nametag on her lab coat, “Dr. Novak.”

“Mrs. Warren, we’re glad you’re awake. How do you feel?” The doctor asked, flipping open Lorraine’s chart, as she made a few notes of her vitals.

“I feel alright… as one does when they accidentally faint.” She started, the doctor letting out a small chuckle under her breath, nodding in understanding.

“But did my test results come back?” Lorraine finished, looking up at the doctor. She just wanted to make sure everything was fine, that she wasn’t sick.. or hurt.

“That’s actually why I stopped in. First to check on you now that you’re awake, making sure you weren’t in too much pain. And to discuss your test results.” Pulling a chair up to both of them, she flipped open her lab results, giving them a glance over once more.

She looked back up at both of them before she started explaining, “To start, all of your basic results came back normal. Your labs looked great, and you seem to be very healthy. That’s very good news.” The doctor told both of them, immediately noticing the look of relief on both of their faces.

“But why did she faint?” Ed asked curiously, relieved his wife was healthy, but still curious what caused this to happen. Especially if her labs came back normal.

Flipping to the next page of her notes, “That’s the second thing I wanted to talk to you about. Once those results came back, we ran one more just to make sure, a suspicion if you will.” She began, a small smile on her face.

Lorraine squeezed Ed’s hand tightly as they waited for the doctor to finish speaking, finding comfort in her husband just being there, being next to her.

“Mrs. Warren, with the last test we ran, we found that your hormone levels were slightly elevated. This alone wouldn’t cause you to faint, but as we tested further, we found the cause. Congratulations Mrs. Warren, you’re expecting.” She told them both, giving them time to process.

Lorraine looked over at Ed, before looking back at the doctor, “I’m pregnant?” She questioned quietly, wanting to make sure she didn’t misunderstand.

“You are. We don’t know exactly how far along you are, but I’d suspect somewhere around 7 weeks. That’s why you’ve been feeling nauseous and dizzy recently. I’d recommend making an appointment with an obgyn, a specialist as soon as possible but based on what I can tell, both you and the baby are perfectly healthy.” The doctor finished, before saying,

“Now I’ll leave you both alone for a few minutes, before I'll send a nurse in with some information for both of you and discharge paperwork to get all three of you home.” She finished, shaking both of their hands lightly as she excused herself from the hospital room, letting the hospital door shut behind her.

Leaving the two of them, Lorraine looked over at her husband, a few tears in her eyes. They weren’t sad tears, she could never be sad over news like this, but rather tears of happiness and the promise of new beginnings.

“Oh Lorraine..” Ed started quietly, getting up and carefully sitting at the edge of her bed, just wanting.. needing to be near her.

She moved over as far as she could, not wanting to tangle the wires still connected to her, but wanting him to lay by her. She wanted to be in his arms, knowing that was the place she felt the safest.

Sitting in silence for a few minutes, Lorraine finally spoke, “I can’t believe… we’re going to be parents.” She said quietly, looking over at him.

“I can’t believe it either, but I know you’re going to make the most excellent mother. And I love you.. and our baby very much.” He told her sincerely, leaning down to kiss her lightly, not wanting her to strain too much after what happened. She grabbed his hand and rested it on-top of hers.

“I love you too. Both of you.” Lorraine said sleepily, before letting out a small yawn. Ed chuckled quietly at her reaction, knowing she was still exhausted from today’s events.

“Why don’t you get some sleep before we get to go home. You and the baby need rest now more than ever.” Even though they’d only found out they were expecting barely a few minutes, he couldn’t help but be slightly excited about this news. Of course, he was terrified as all first-time parents were, but he’d always wanted a family, especially with Lorraine.

Lorraine nodded before asking quietly, “Stay with us?” Not wanting him to move away from her.

“Always, I’ll always stay with both of you.” He said quietly, moving as close to her as could, being mindful of her IV as she let her head fall into the curve of his neck. “And once you’re awake, we can discuss you taking it easy, resting more.” He teased, knowing she couldn’t hear him.

But that was a conversation for a different time. For now, he’d let her sleep, enjoying the quiet of all of them together, especially the one they just found out about.

[falcqns]

Not shifting related but, I’m glad that getting your adhd diagnosis has helped your mental health! 💜 from, someone who is considering whether she should seek a diagnosis herself

hi bby!! thank you so much!!

and if you feel like you want that, go for it! its definitely scary, and it took my MONTHS to work up the courage to make that phone call to my doctors. theres some conflicting info out there about how to get a diagnosis, so here's what i did to get mine:

i made an appointment with the doctor for just adhd. i called and said "i think i might have ADHD and was wondering if i could talk to [doctors name] about possibly getting a diagnosis?" and they scheduled me in.

at the appointment, they had me fill out an ADHD Self Report. i don't know where you're from, but this is what it looks like in ontario:

3. the doctor came in, and we discussed why i was there, why i was searching for a diagnosis, and asked me things like "have your parents thought about getting one when you were younger?" "did your teachers ever talk to your parents about missing assignments often" "did you struggle a lot in school" and "were you in a lot of sports and activities as a child" (which i was, like 40 hours a week i was either at bible club, basketball practise, school, dance, karate, or swimming) and then he went over the checklist.

4. he said that i had hit the top few markers for diagnosing adhd in adults, and that he didn't even want to refer me to a specialist because he could see that i definitely had it. not all doctors can do this, but mine is trained in psychology, and can diagnose things like adhd and autism, but he often likes to get a second opinion just in case.

5. we discussed certain treatments available, and he gave me options for my medication. he went very in depth in explaining what exactly adhd is, how it forms, how its treated, and what the medications were and the specific doses and things and gave me his opinion, but said the choice was ultimately up to me. we made a decision based on my work and school schedule and settled on Vyvanse.

6. he did send me for some testing (bloodwork and ecg) just to ensure i didn't have any conditions that could conflict with Vyvanse and cause permanent damage, and then scheduled a follow up.

it was definitely really easy for me, but i know that its not easy for everyone. i know some people spend years trying to get a diagnosis, and i am fully aware i got lucky.

i don't know what medication you'll be put on, but if you're put on a stimulant, such as Vyvanse, here's my experience and some tips: 1. always, ALWAYS, eat before you take them. they are a stimulant, and there fore will repress your appetite. that doesn't mean you won't be hungry, it just means you wont be able to feel or recognize your hunger cues.

2. don't worry about coffee conflicting with it. coffee and sports drinks don't work for people with adhd the same way they'd work for people without it. our brains are short in dopamine, and from my knowledge and what my doctor told me (i might be misremembering), because our brains are short in dopamine, we don't get the same 'rush of energy' as a non adhd person because our brains just dont have the dopamine to provide it. your medication will provide you with that boost, so theoretically, you could condition your body to respond to caffeine by taking your meds with coffee, but dont hold me to that, i could be wrong lol.

3. prepare for a rough first week. i was on 30mg for one week, 40mg for two weeks, and 50mg for the next month, and now am on 60mg. the first week of starting each dose was rough. when the medication was working, i was fine. i have tons of energy, im happier, and a lot less anxious. but by the time 5:30 rolls around, i'm completely different. im hangry, im overstimulated, and severely irritable. this is not you being a bitch when this happens, this is just your medication, so don't feel guilty about yelling or screaming at your family, because its just a side effect, and wont last more than a week.

4. take melatonin if you cant fall asleep! it works wonders, and doesnt conflict with the meds at all.

5. you might feel an urge to stim more, and i say give into it, as long as you arent hurting yourself or someone else. so rock, flap your hands, tap your feet and hum as much as you want!

6. don't feel pressured to change immediately. it will take time, but i guarantee you'll see a small shift in yourself right away. i know i did.

7. don't feel shame for needing a break, or feeling bad because you missed a dose. as long as you are taking the medication regularly, it will work! my best friend was diagnosed a week after i was, and only takes hers monday-friday, because thats when she needs it. she also likes to party a lot, and is a drinker, and her meds can conflict and cause some problems, so she doesnt take them! but she takes them mon-fri, and they still work. your meds and your body are yours, and you know yourself better than anyone else. if you need a break, take that break. you'll feel better.

i hope this helped, my love, and good luck on getting your diagnosis. it may seem scary, but the scariest part is taking that first step. i believe in you, good luck! <3

[markitchi]

another headcanon

this feels like a fanfiction but anyway,

leon and raihan is a pretty healthy couple.when theyre in the middle of an argument,if one raise their voice just a bit,the other backs off and suggest to take a few hours,even days to cool down, and then talk about it when theyre calm and is able to think straight to avoid unwanted events.

and currently theyre in the middle of an argument,theres a rising problem in the league,and them being the top trainers with equally great intelligence,  theyre expected to solve it

theyve been arguing because when theyre discussing about how to solve it,theres a ...quite serious disagreement , which led into a debating session,so they decide to have time to think about it by themselves instead of discussing about it,just for a day or two.

but theres another problem rising,which came from a different source, a pokemon breeding centre,theres some issue with dragon type pokemon,leon expect raihan to be the only person whos expected to help,but because leon has 2 on his team,he was asked to help raihan. sadly he cant decline the request. 

theyre in the middle of their “argument” but that doesnt matter of course,since both got an email to help the breeder to solve the pokemon breeding issue,they push their personal problems aside and try to discuss about it,which sadly led into another debating session. both decide to stop and sit down

raihan lets out a sigh “3 days?”

“..sure i guess” leon answer hesitantly,both actually cool off easily and they certainly dont need 3 days to just cool down and think. 3 days without raihan is too long afterall,but leon assume that maybe,he had pushed the wrong buttons and just agree to avoid another conflict,which wont happen.he knows raihan, but he rather not

raihan tilts his head “you look hesitant, 2 days maybe? ive already set up papers to solve the other problem we had,so i guess 2 days is enough,how about you?”

leon looks up to raihan, “i already figure out yesterdays solution too, so... 2 days? then we discuss about the league issue,then suggesting it to the staff?”

raihan nodded “yes,then we discuss about this and gave the result to the pokemon breeding centre”

leon agrees, finally,an agreement.

the next day comes, leon suddenly has an appointment out of nowhere,oleana certainly didnt tell him about this,and now,leon is sorrounded by hellspawns.

hes in the local kindergarten,which is not bad, but this kindergarten hits different,leon has lost count of kids whos trying to stole his cap and pull his cape off. heck,even one kid almost peed on him. 

once hes free from hell,he really wants to reunite with raihan,but theyre on their...relationship break? he doesnt even know what its called because its really rare for them to argue.

but because leon is on the edge of bursting out,he decide to just,take a quick shower to make himself look presentable,and flew to hammerlocke

he arrives at the gym, walking through the hall,being guided by one of the gym trainer,to raihans office. his eyes is already glassy with tears.

he entered raihans office, raihan is there, sitting on the couch with paperworks,he move his head to meet leon,eyes wide when he see a familiar purple hair

“leon? do you want to discuss it now? ive cooled down and i al-”

leon lets out a mewl,a sad one. which surprises raihan. raihan stared at him,brows furrowing,he noticed leons golden eyes were glistening “wait-” he got up,walks his way to leon “dandelion,darling” oh how leon has been craving to be called that, “whats wrong? did i do something-”

“i had a surprise appointment today” leon croak out “i- oleana didnt told me about it-” did he just sob? “i wasnt prepared and we went to a fucking place filled with tiny demonic creatures” he leans in to raihans comforting touch “worst than giratina and darkrai, id prefer to hang out with them rather than those- those kids” leons sobs got more violent “they- they were trying to stole my champion hat and tried to pull of my cape,which almost choked me,dragon” 

raihan concerns starts to grow faster when leon called him dragon,since leon only use that particular nickname when he feels unsafe or when hes super stressed out. 

“i- i almost cried in place, i was tired for- figuring out the solutions and we had 2 debate in a span of one week, we, we rarely argue dragon,” leons grip on raihans arm got tighter,”those kids” raihan can see pure fear in leons eyes “hit the spot,one- one of them almost peed on me raihan,im glad one of the teacher grab them fast enough,i wouldnt know what id do if that actually happened”

raihan hold leon tight,then make him to sit down on the couch, leon didnt let go of raihan when raihan wanted to take a cup of water, he asked raihan to stay and hold him more, raihan cant blame him,that kindergarten IS basically hell and he doesnt understand how the teacher can withstand those tiny demons, this week has been hectic too,he cant blame leon really,he felt bad about initiating one of the debates but,i guess that doesnt matter anymore when theyve found the solutions.

leon is now on his lap,hugging raihan by the shoulder sobbing quietly. all raihan can do is hugging leon back,making sure he feels safe. 

after the sobbing had died down,raihan asks leon

“lee?baby?” raihan calls out, leon lets out a mumble, “let me handle the pokemon breeding issue yeah? its about dragon type afterall,i can do it myself,im just gonna take your typed out suggestions and take care of it by my own,about the league issue,lets just combine our solution and come with a neutral conclusion, is that okay darling? or do you want to discuss about it tomorrow? we can stay in my place if you want”

leon slowly repositioned his body to face raihan,he nodded “yeah, okay,ill let you take care of the breeding centre,but dont overwork yourself raihan, about the league,lets just combine our solutions,it does feels irresponsible though,they expect us-”

“leon,my dearest,lets think about YOU for awhile,the league aint shit,my love,how do you feel about it?” raihan cuts off

“...i..personally,i dont want too..” leon looks down, he wants to give the best for the league,but raihan is right,he needs to prioritize himself just for tonight,so he can give the best to the region tomorrow morning

“there you go,now- let me just-” raihan proceed to carry leon, as if hes a baby,leon just dont give a single fuck at this point,he just want to sleep like a rock for 8 hours,he leaned and put his head near raihans neck,looping his arm around raihans shoulder tighter,hes grateful raihan is big and strong enough to carry a 80kg bulky man like he is

“dragon,love” leon mumbled right next to raihans ear, “im..sorry i initiated the breeding center debate,i .. i shouldnt even argue with you,you knew so much more”, raihan kissed leons head, “no worries baby,i dont mind,you are a bit...selfish sometimes,but its okay,its not like im far from that either,since im the one who started to argue about the league issue,despite me not knowing much about it,im sorry about that too”

leon answered “so we good?”

raihan smiled, “always been”

leon hugged raihan tighter and closed his eyes,trusting his dragon that he will take care of him,when leon opened his eyes,hes already in a familiar place,raihans apartment,to be more specific,hes on the bed,wearing one of raihans t-shirt and...his own pajama pants? raihan is currently putting socks on his left feet,raihan noticed that his prince has woke up, “go back to sleep,ill keep you safe,i wont let rose or oleana to put their hands on you” leon looked at him “but how about you?im not gonna have a day off tomorrow if youre not sitting next to me,whats the point of a single day off if 1 of my favorite person isnt there next to me?”

raihans got surprised “wait how did you know i told them to give you a day off?” leon smiled “instinct”

raihan chuckled while crawling to the bed,setting himself next to leon, “i didnt enter hell today so i dont need one” he teased, leon hugs raihan by the waist,giving it a firm grip “raihan my precious dragon, love,sweetheart,im begging you to stay, please,im not fully sane yet,i need you to keep me on the ground,and dont commit a genocide,raihan pleaaase,do your work at home-” raihan cuts him off “no! you’d help me with it! you need to rest,prince!” raihan answered with a laugh, leon tighten his grip “but i need you! how can you leave me alone and insane like this! how dare you!” leon said,mimicking his voice to sound like a dramatic damsel in distrest

raihan obeys,of course he will,hes actually on the edge too,the breeders are plain out stupid and its no wonder that the dragon type mons had an issue,they shouldve put the baby on HIS breeding center instead,he knows well about it anyway,who the heck brought the baby dragons there?! not to mention how they act like they know more than raihan,the dragon tamer,the only certified dragon type specialist in the whole region. raihan was so fed up,the paperwork from the gym arent helping either,he got 3 helping hands and it overwhelms them all,he guess he should give the whole gym trainer just a single day break to sleep the whole day and get themselves charge. and so he did,he typed out a short email to all the gym trainers,that they will have a day off tomorrow,

leon smiled in satisfaction as raihan typed out the email on his phone,he knew raihan was close to murder someone too,,but knowing raihan,he wont take a day off if leon told him too. but raihan WILL do it,if leon beg raihan to stay with him,hes concerned about it and might talk about it, that he should prioritize himself and not his lover,but not definitely not now,nor later.someday probably.

after raihan sent the emails,he turned off the bedside lamp, and proceed he put his head on leons plump chest, “alright,nighty night prince,i love you”

leon put his hand on top of raihans head,petting it gently“night dragon,i love you too”

then they sleep. 

[natalyelle]

Broken Connections

Shepard receives a task to investigate a broken connection with laboratories on a distant planet. She and her companions arrive there to find out that something is wrong there and they should find it out as quickly as possible.

Chapter 1 of 3, around 2k words

Also on AO3

One of Gloria Shepard's favorite star systems in the Galaxy was the Pandonea system. An unusual bright star, whimsically colored planets, most of which were rich in minerals.

The most beautiful planet in the system was a turquoise-purple gas giant surrounded by a thin pale ring of asteroids. Gloria was looking at it with interest through the porthole when the Joker's voice announced over the speakerphone:

“Commander, Admiral Hackett wants to get in touch with you, he's on the line in the communications room.”

“I'm on my way,” Gloria replied, turning away from the window.

“Commander,” the admiral said politely, bowing his head. “I'm glad to see you're all right.”

“Likewise, Admiral,” Shepard nodded. “Do you have a task for me?”

“Yes, we need to check what happened to the communication in the research laboratory on Eltrea. You are the closest to the planet among the Alliance ships, so it was decided to entrust the investigation to you.”

“Acknowledged. What are the details? What happened?”

“The laboratory includes several employees from different research institutes from different planets, including Earth. Every week they send a signal confirming that everything is fine in the laboratory and it is functioning. With the same signal, as a rule, new materials and scientific information obtained during the work of the laboratory are regularly received. However, for the third week now, the laboratories have been silent. No new information, no confirmation signal. The institutes are concerned about the fate of their employees.”

“Don't worry, Admiral, we'll figure it out.”

Gloria turned off the video link and turned on the speakerphone with the cockpit.

“Joker, set a course for the orbit of Eltrea. We have a new task.”

“It will be done, Commander,” the pilot replied cheerfully.

“I heard that we have set a course to Eltrea,” Liara began cautiously, meeting Shepard near the elevator between the decks of the Normandy.

“Yes, do you want to come to the surface with me? We need to find out if everything is in order at the local laboratory,” Gloria smiled.

“If possible,” Liara smiled back. “The fact is that my friend, Lydia Orlova, works in this laboratory, I would like to make sure that everything is fine with her. She is a xenolinguist, we met at the Prothean excavations.”

“A xenolinguist?” Shepard's eyebrows went up. She went to the porthole and gazed thoughtfully at the stars floating in the darkness. “I thought that the laboratory was engaged in the extraction and study of minerals or something like that.”

“No, as far as I know, the Prothean pyramid is being excavated here. Lydia is a very good expert in alien languages and symbolism, her knowledge helps to decipher the symbols on the pyramids.”

“The Prothean pyramid? Quite unexpectedly… Okay, I'm including you in the landing team. Prepare your tablets, documents and materials, I think we can take advantage of the opportunity for cultural and scientific exchange.”

“Yes, Commander!” Liara happily ran to her cabin to collect things, Shepard just watched her dreamily and smiled at her thoughts.

“Tali, Garrus,” Shepard said over the speakerphone, “get ready to land on the surface of the planet. We have a special task.”

“Commander, are you sure you should include only alien companions in the landing group?” Kaidan asked cautiously, coming up to Gloria. “If this is an Alliance task…”

“There's also me,” Shepard smiled dazzlingly. “Don't worry, I know what I'm doing.”

* * *

“So, guys, let's repeat our legend,” Shepard said, sitting at the wheel of the Mako all-terrain vehicle. Garrus was sitting on her right hand, Liara and Tali were in the back seat.

“Why invent some kind of legend if something serious happened?” Tali asked. “What if there is no one there who will listen to us. And if they will, then why invent something, and not just say everything as it is?”

“Even if everything looks good, you can't trust this apparent well-being,” Gloria remarked. “It will not be superfluous to cover ourselves so there are no additional problems.”

“It's kind of complicated,” Liara muttered.

“So the legend,” Shepard repeated. “Liara was sent here from the Citadel as a new Prothean specialist. The Citadel could not inform her appointment, because there were some problems with communication, so Liara arrived here without warning.”

“In my opinion, it is quite logical,” Garrus said.

“Tali was on the same ship as Liara, learned about the laboratory and decided to come here for her Pilgrimage to help with communication problems,” Shepard continued. “In exchange for some useful, but not classified information. See? We are not even deceiving anyone yet.”

Liara looked thoughtfully out of the small window. A deserted valley passed by, low hills could be seen in the distance. The bright, slightly reddish sun, setting below the horizon, gave the landscape a purple hue. Shepard's eyes sometimes took on the same shade.

“And Garrus?” Liara asked quietly.

“And Garrus is my assistant, escorting us to the laboratory so that we are not attacked by wild animals and all that.” Gloria happily turned the steering wheel of the all-terrain vehicle.

“Shepard, I don't know what is your human custom, but aren't you driving too dangerous?” Tali asked.

“It's all right!” Gloria replied cheerfully, looking into the rearview mirror with a smile. Liara caught her eyes shining with joy and involuntarily smiled herself. They are going on a possibly dangerous mission, and Shepard is enjoying the trip like a child. It was a little surprising, but for some reason Gloria's joy was contagious, and Liara also cheered up a little.

“Do you have any qualification tests for drivers?” Garrus asked, gripping his seat.

“Relax, guys, what can go wro – ”

Mako suddenly fell into a hole, the sky seemed to mix with the earth. With a thud, the vehicle landed on solid ground, and Shepard, as if nothing had happened, drove it forward.

“It's just a shorter way!” Shepard exclaimed. “We'll be there in no time!”

After a while, the dark buildings of the laboratory appeared from behind the hills. They looked like large boxes placed side by side and on top of each other. To the left of the buildings, the dark top of the pyramid could be seen sticking out of the ground. Liara fixed her eyes on this vague, gloomy spot. How many secrets this pyramid must have kept! How she would really like to be among the researchers of this laboratory to learn the Prothean secrets that bothered her a lot.

On the other hand, next to her now is a person who holds no less secrets of the Protheans than, perhaps, this pyramid. Liara shifted her gaze to Shepard. The violet light gave her eyes even more depth, and her lips an unusual and attractive color. Is it only the secrets of the Protheans that attract her to Shepard?..

“How interesting, their lights are on,” Shepard drawled, nodding at the laboratory buildings.

Liara looked ahead through the windshield and saw that Shepard was right. The small rectangular windows glowed slightly with a dark orange light.

“So, scientists are working there...” said Liara.

“Or they all ran away from there,” Gloria said melancholically. “Or they are lying dead. And the lights are on because the generator is still producing electricity.”

Garrus coughed slightly.

“Well, we will believe in the best!” Shepard smiled, driving closer to a large building with a door.

The team got out of the vehicle and went to the door, near which was a communication screen. Gloria punched the button under the screen with her fist, and it came to life. A young man's face appeared in the gray interference. His dark, thick brows were furrowed. "So, at least someone is alive here," Liara thought with some relief.

“Good evening!” Gloria said with a smile in her voice. Her very face was covered by a helmet. “I am Commander Gloria Shepard of the Normandy, Spectre, who has arrived here to accompany your new colleague, Dr. Liara T'Soni.”

“I haven't heard about any new colleague,” the man behind the door replied.

“It's kind of weird,” Shepard continued. “I was told that the message was sent to you a week ago. Perhaps you have problems with communication? We can help you solve them.”

“Everything is fine with us!” the man insisted.

“Maybe you should tell your supervisor about us?” Gloria asked and put her hands behind her back, showing that she was ready to wait for a long, very long time. The man sighed and pressed a button on the side. The front door hissed and opened. Gloria waved her hand solemnly, letting her companions inside.

After passing the buffer zone, where everyone took off their helmets, the team went into a small hall. It looked cozy - there was a table with artificial flowers against the far wall, along the walls there were small display cases with extracted Prothean artifacts. A tall, red-haired woman came out of a door at the side. Her piercing green eyes scanned the Normandy team and settled on Shepard.

“Hello!” Gloria took the initiative and took a step forward to the woman.

“Hello,” the woman said, slightly tilting her head, walked up to Shepard and held out her hand. Gloria shook it politely.

"My name is Gloria Shepard, " she said.

“Yes, I have already been informed,” the woman nodded. The man from the screen appeared behind her. “ My name is Ariadna Dowsell, I am the head of the local scientific laboratory. This is Greg Nicholson, a specialist geologist.”

The man nodded.

“I am very glad that a new specialist was sent to us, and at the same time I am a little puzzled.”

“Something happened? Shepard asked, tilting her head to the side.

“The fact is that we requested a new specialist two weeks ago, but we did not receive any response. And no messages from our institutes either. Your arrival is a surprise for us.”

“And yet, this is a pleasant surprise!”

A short, fair-haired woman appeared from the same side door. She smiled happily as she walked up to Ariadna.

“This is Ioanna Viktorova, a specialist in xenoarchaeology,” Ariadna introduced her.

“We at the laboratory are always happy to see new faces!” Ioanna chirped cheerfully.

“Xenoarchaeology?” Liara asked. “ Sounds very interesting!”

“Oh, yes, it's really interesting! But let's not stand on the doorstep, come in, let's drink tea!”

Shepard and the company followed the cheerful Ioanna. Ariadna and Greg also joined them.

“It's quite cozy here,” Liara said, looking around the small room furnished as a living room. There was a sofa and soft armchairs, a coffee table in the middle, near the walls there were cabinets with books and a couple of stone exhibits.

“Yes, you can't say that you have a laboratory here,” Gloria drawled, sipping the black tea offered to her.

“We have been here for quite a long time, so in order not to go completely crazy, we decided to organize a more familiar, homely atmosphere,” explained Ioanna.

“I heard that Lydia Orlova is also here,” Liara said, looking awkwardly at Ariadna.

“Yes, she's here,” she nodded. “She's checking out the dig site before it gets dark.”

“And are there many specialists here now?” Shepard asked.

“We have enough,” Ariadne smiled. “In addition to the four humans, there are also two asari from Tessia and one from Nevos, three turians from Palaven and one volus.”

“And how are the studies going?” Shepard poured herself more tea.

“Pretty casual,” Greg said. “We are clearing the found pyramid from the dirt so that we can study it better.”

The door to the living room opened, and a tired young woman with her hair tied up in a bun entered the room.

“Lydia!” Liara could not contain her joy, jumped up from the sofa and ran to the girl who entered.

“Liara!” the girl smiled,hugging asari. “Is it you?”

“It is!” Liara laughed. For some reason, all the tension that had not left her in this room dissipated. “I'm very glad to see you!”

“But by what fates?” The girls stopped hugging and sat down on the sofa together.

“Dr. T'Soni was sent to us as a specialist in the Protheans,” Ariadna said. It seemed to Liara that the temperature in the room dropped by half a degree. Why? She couldn't understand. Perhaps it was just her imagination. Lydia beamed.

“You will be delighted with what we have dug up here!” she exclaimed.

“Commander Shepard, this is the Normandy,” a voice whispered in Gloria's earpiece.

“I'm listening to you, Kaidan.”

“We have a little problem, due to the asteroid debris, we have to adjust the orbit, and we will not be able to lift you in the near future. Do you have the opportunity to wait on the planet for about a day?”

Gloria caught Ariadne's eye. She nodded slowly and said:

“We can accommodate you and your team in the reserve rooms, Commander.”

“Excellent. Kaidan, we're staying in the lab, keep me updated on your situation and condition. Shepard out.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

The rustling in the ear stopped.

“And what about your connection?” Shepard asked Ariadna.

“I don't know for sure,” Dowsell said.

“I can check the status of your communications center,” Tali offered. Ariadna frowned a little and exchanged glances with Ioanna.

“Quarians are famous for their techniques,” Shepard said, leaning back in her chair. “Perhaps you just lost some wire, and we will quickly fix it.”

“Yes, thank you, it's a good idea,” Ariadna smiled again. “Ioanna conducts…”

“Tali'zora,” quarian introduced herself with a slight bow.

“Yes, yes,” Ariadna said quickly and nodded to Ioanna. Ioanna nodded in response, and she and Tali left the living room.

“And where are your other colleagues?” Shepard asked. “I would like to meet them. Especially the volus scientist.”

“They're probably already asleep,” Ariadne shrugged. “Well, and you must be tired. Greg will show you to your rooms.”

“Tomorrow you will show me everything!” Liara said happily to Lydia, and they wished each other good night.