#giving them both air smooches mwah | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tteokdoroki · 3 years ago

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WHAT YOU DESERVE. | T.KUROO.

ʚ♡ɞ SYNOPSIS: after a stressful day at work, your boyfriend kuroo gives you some special treatment, that you well and truly deserve.

ʚ♡ɞ PAIRING: tetsurou kuroo x fem!reader.

ʚ♡ɞ WC: 2.8K.

ʚ♡ɞ RATED: mature, 18+, mdni.

ʚ♡ɞ GENRE: post-time skip!au, smut.

ʚ♡ɞ CW: please read ! smut, ( characters aged to twenties ), soft dom!kuroo, daddy!kink, breeding!kink, oral sex and fingering ( female recieving ), uprotected sex, bath sex, choking, squirting, marking, reader has a shitty job.

ʚ♡ɞ A/N: hi all!! i hope you’re having a nice weekend, here’s another commission— this time from my beloved @doinmybesthere !! first time writing kuroo so i hope you enjoy mwah :(( <3

ʚ♡ɞ masterlist | requests | kofi

this is what you deserve.

the head of the man you love between your precious thighs, soaked with viscous arousal — as if it were honey, judging from the way he eats you out— like a man starved of a meal for too many moons. kuroo’s tongue works your sticky and swollen folds, collecting what drips from your hole in his mouth before it escapes him, repeating the process over and over as if tasting your sweetness is what gives him energy.

you deserve to be worshiped like this, kisses pressed against your throbbing clit until your thighs tremble with the bite marks on them, the ones that write words of love and praise against your skin. kuroo is more than happy to oblige— eagerly swirling his tongue around your fluttering hole, plunging it inside you after he’s felt you’ve whined enough, pressing it hard against your gummy walls.

to be treated like something your lover can’t get enough of, valued like you’re priceless, is what you deserve— not to be talked over in board meetings at work when you’re clearly the only one who knows what’s going on, not to be patronised for being the only woman in the room ( and the only one with a brain )— you’re too smart, too talented and good at what you do to be treated like such crap.

but your boyfriend, your tetsurou, understands.

he understands that you’re overworked and underpaid, earning too little for the effort you put into keeping the company you work for afloat— countless hours you could have spent resting in his arms after coming back from the office are used up by managing excel sheets that could have been done by interns...instead dumped on your overqualified self.

kuroo knows that you deserve better too, that’s why he treats you like a goddess and kisses the ground you walk on, welcoming you with open arms after you’ve walked home in the rain despite the possibilities of catching a cold, running you a bath with your favourite scents— vanilla and manuka honey because it makes you feel warm and soothes your racing heart. tonight, he’d even stripped you down to nothing before letting you slip into the hot water, kissing every inch of your skin— mapping out scars and beauty marks, with adoration hotter on his lips.

tonight he’d sunk to his knees in front of the woman he loves, golden irises like a million burning suns, focused on you as open mouthed smooches— both wet and warm had led him to your needy cunt.

all in the name of helping you feel better, treating you how you should be.

“t-tetsu,” you sigh, high pitched and breathless, into the steamy air of your bathroom— the sound echoing off the walls and intertwining with the lewd sounds of kuroo slurping at your dripping sex. you lean against the bathtub, gripping its rim for support. “tetsu! my love, the bath...i-it’ll run cold if we don’t—“

you don’t have it in you to finish your words as kuroo thrusts is tongue in and out of your puckered hole, curling it every time it breaches your walls, accompanied by the bump of his nose against your puffy nub— he sniffs, inhaling the scent of your sex as if you’re a rose pulled from eve’s garden and the very sound makes your body shudder and heat flare up across it. “you’re always so concerned about everything that isn’t you, aren’t you sweet girl?” the dark haired man pulls his ravaging mouth off of you and clicks his tongue with mock disappointment, though his eyes locked with yours speak volumes of infatuation and greed hung up on the way you taste. “i already told you, tonight is about you. there’s no rush and the bath water isn’t goin’ anywhere,”

he’s right, tetsurou is right and you know that he is. the truth is, you feel shy, with doe eyes and parted lips— shaky thighs and a slick sex, you feel shy that he’s able to make you feel better in such dirty ways. that days of bad work can be erased by simply sitting on the face of the man you love.

“but tetsu— the bath,” you whine, shiny lipped and teary eyed as he replaces the loss of his mouth with two fingers at once— immediately curling them to find the sweet spot inside of you that makes your juices roll in waves and coat his digits with ease.

kuroo sighs and the pad of his thumb is pressed flush against your hardened pleasure button— the added pressure causing galaxies to form along your vision, glued to your bathroom ceiling. “so much mouth for me, sweet girl,” he hums, smile on his lips and a stare like hot liquid gold that would make you melt if you touched it. “but none for those nasty men at work, huh? ‘m just tryna make you feel good, show you what you really deserve but it seems you don’t want that,” although his words are just a little bit cruel, they’re spoken with such softness that it makes your gooey pussy spasm and your entire body tremble.

but despite that, kuroo keeps his fingers going, their tips brushing against your velvet lined walls and scissoring to make you scream into the high heavens and yellow artificial light— your tummy burns with lust and teters on the edge of release, all you need is one little push which your boyfriend refuses to give. he doesn’t speed up, only fucks your cunt with enough pace to string along your high and you know exactly why.

“c-can’t ride your face, it’ll take too long ‘n the bath will go cold, ‘n you’re being mean,” you circle your hips and clamp down, trying to coax tetsurou into a faster pace so that you can finally cum.

and it’s as if the angels above have heard your prayers, seeing you tormented by the world was enough for them to stop the torture your boyfriend was putting you through— his fingers pull out of your fluttering heat, coated in a shine before he uses them to knead your plush thighs and push them further apart. “you’re right baby, daddy knows, that was a little too mean, eh?” kuroo coos up to you, blowing warm air on your quivering cunt, watching with keen eyes as a fat droplet of your arousal runs down your slit. he catches it with his tongue before it can go to waste— taking in your hot face and teary eyes with love. “y’just so cute when you ride my tongue, sweet girl, so why don’t we work together here? jus’ move your hips a little, make yourself cum for me, as much as you want,”

work together.

the phrase makes you tingle from top to toe, letting kuroo’s large hands extend to your ass— skin licked with sweat— so he can pull your pussy onto his awaiting, eager mouth. you don’t know what’s hotter, the steam in your bathroom or your body on fire with desire as his tongue slides between your swollen, sticky folds once more. “god, you’re so wet f’me, taste so good— you’re so good sweet girl, better than anyone deserves,” kuroo mumbles, praise muffled by your hips that rut gingerly into his face— the words vibrate against your core and cause you to cry out, one hand releasing its grip on the bathtub to tug on the midnight locks of your boyfriend’s hair.

being praised, told that you’re good makes dopamine fire across your brain—you know that you are, but hearing your boyfriend say it makes your heart beat harder in your chest and down in your pussy too. for a while, kuroo stills, letting you lift your hips and use his tongue at your will, running it up and down your leaking cunt before his fingers return to draw star shaped patterns against your needy clit.

“wanna—!” you cry out, the stimulation from your boyfriend’s slippery tongue sending hormones running through your veins and arousal to seep from your pores. you lean back to grind your hips faster and harder into his mouth— smooshing your puffy pleasure bud against his nose— leaning almost far enough to fall into the tub behind you— but kuroo has a bruising grip on your thighs that keeps you in place. “wanna cum, please daddy! please tetsu!”

tetsurou pulls away...only just, swallowing deep— his face shining with evidence of how turned on you are. “as much as you want, darlin’, tonight’s about you,” he practically moans into your ravaged mound, returning to carnally devour the rest of you.

and then the earth is shattering beneath you, the scorched delight that had been building firmly in your lower belly suddenly feels like it’s snapped and crashes over you in intense waves. you cum hard, kuroo’s name a sinful spell on your bitten and raw lips, your cunt sopping and dribbling its candied nectar before you can even realise what’s going on— you lose consciousness to the cosmos, your release painting kuroo’s cheeks as you gush and gush until your body simply can’t anymore.

your boyfriend slows the movement of his tongue, careful with your sensitive lower lips whilst he cleans you up and doesn’t waste a drop of your cum— bringing you back down from cloud nine and into your foggy bathroom again. “here with me again, sweetheart?” tetsuro asks, massaging the small of your back, kissing your inner thighs once your breath returns to you.

“mhm, here daddy,” you confirm, looking down with hazy eyes— swallowing the sight of your lover with his dark hair matted against his forehead and his cheeks wet.

“ready for your bath?”

you barely manage a nod, your limbs shaky. “uhuh, please daddy,”

the mop of midnight black hair rises from between your legs, aiming straight for your lips— kuroo’s tongue rolls into your open mouth, and you taste the essence of yourself during the feverish storm in which you push off his clothes. neither of you part, too caught up in exploratory grips and grazes even as your boyfriend takes your hand and helps you sink into the pool of scented water beneath your feet. the hot water sends soothing waves throughout your body— only amplified when kuroo pulls you into his lap, your sensitive cunt landing right over his solid erection.

the pair of you sit together, your bare breasts and hardened nipples rubbing against tetsurou’s chest— arms strong from his sporting days hooked around your middle to keep you close to him. “you work so hard, sweetness, busy every day and they don’t even appreciate you enough,” he almost simpers, his tip that oozes into the bath water—brushing through your tender, milky folds, making you collapse against his wet skin. “when was the last time i had you like this baby?”

“dunno daddy,” you mumble wetly, your face twisting erotically and eyes rolling when you buck your hips feverishly over your lover’s— begging for him to push his hips up and shove his cock past your awaiting folds. you need him, to help you forget and to make you feel loved.

“i don’t remember either, princess, so ‘m sorry,” he grunts, saliva pooling on his tongue as one of his hands cups your face and the other the curve of your waist— amber stare growing dark while swirling with blazen thirst for you and only you. kuroo’s hips thrust up, smacking your ass dewily and sending water sloshing over the side of the tub. “‘m sorry for not being able to wait anymore,”

all at once, you’re filled up with cock that stretches you wide open and sits heavy in the pits of your stomach— churning up your insides and scrubbing your brain blank of any stress from your awful job. all you can think, see and feel is kuroo—overwhelmed by the feeling of the forked vein on the underside of his girth rubbing against sensitive nerve endings along your ribbed walls. there’s a beat of silence after your bodies come together as one, where the bathroom air that’s filled with steam is joined by puffs of starved lovers desperate to send each other to the gates of heaven.

“move, tetsuro, please, please...” comes your abrupt gasp, while you begin driving your hips downwards, taking more and more of your boyfriend into your sweet, slobbering pussy. you know that you're wet despite being deep in the water, warm and gushy on the inside as you ride kuroo’s dick—building up momentum between your damp bodies.

your boyfriend smiles big, his cheeks flushing from the humid air— tugging you forward and pushing you backward over his girth by the perverted grasp he has on the meat of your thighs. “y’workin’ so hard for this cock, baby. i’ll give you whatever you want,” he gripes, impassioned, the motion has him bearing down on your g-spot constantly, not giving you time to breathe outside of deep hitting thrusts when kuroo plunges into your pretty pussy. “make y’cum so much, make you feel so much better,”

you cry into his strong neck, pressing kisses against his salty skin, littered amongst the condensation to sedate yourself— kuroo grabs the back of your head and tilts you up to stare deep into your eyes with every moan you let out, mirroring the gape of your mouth and furrow of your brows when his cock strokes your insides just right. his pelvis mashes against your clit while he helps lift you up and down on his dick as it stands at full attention— never missing a beat or an opportunity to hit your pleasure spot. the way you move together, pushing and pulling like flowing water ( practically throwing buckets of it out of your bath )— meant to be dance partners in the routine of love.

he doesn’t know where to hold you while you dance, while you fuck madly— tetsurou’s hands rubbing the bubble sudds all over your tits and back and down to your ass each time he kneeds the doughy flesh. “fuck! gettin’ so tight, so warm— missed bein’ inside you, hate that work’s keeping you away from me,” your boyfriend slurs, tongue heavy in the pallet of his mouth, barely leaving the warmth of your spasming pussy.

you’re slippery down there, letting him glide against your gummy walls and coating him in your essence— the scent of sex fills the air and your juices flow into the bath water. it’s filthy and passionate all at once but you can’t get enough. “gonna cum, daddy, gonna cum again—!” you squeal, rutting desperately against him for your release.

“atta girl,” kuroo praises you, finally deciding on a position for his wandering hand and letting it cup your throat— squeezing hard and tilting you any which way so he can suck bruises against your slack jaw, not caring who they’re seen by at work tomorrow. it doesn’t stop him from rocking into your tight heat, bringing you closer to the edge, especially when his thumb, slightly pruned from the water, rubs harsh circles into your clit. “cum for me baby, like you deserve. you’ve earned it,” he whispers softly against your cherry bitten lips.

so you do, screwing your eyes shut and wailing loud as your core contracts and your release splashes out against kuroo’s cock— this time your hips still, locking while the rest of your body carries the aftershocks of your orgasm. your boyfriend keeps thrusting, pushing water out of the bath and chasing his high in the depths of your viscous, gooey walls, brushing your cervix and your hips alike until he finally floods your womb with a scorching white, cum oozing from your pussy down to his shaft— forming a frothy, stringy ring at his base.

you sit in the lukewarm bath a while longer, a mess of heaving chests and sore limbs while your sticky foreheads stay stuck on one another. “fuck baby, you’re so good, ‘m so proud of you,” tetsuro breathes weakly, arms locked around your waist to keep you in his lap and his seed from leaking out of you. “doin’ your best all the time, not just for me but for your bosses too…” he pauses, running a thumb over your swollen lips as you sleepily smile up at him. “if they keep treating you like crap, you should come work for me,”

at this, you shake your head— still loopy but so content to be in the arms of the man who loves you so much. “‘m not gonna give up, gonna go back ‘n show em how much they need me,” you say tiredly into his skin, wanting to prove yourself.

“that’s my girl,” kuroo only smiles then, grabbing a loofa and some of your favourite lotion as he starts washing you down— giving you more of the princess treatment you truly deserve.

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munsnz · 3 years ago

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Hii hope you're having a great week! If you feel like writing it i was thinking of a steve h x wheeler!reader, where they're having a dinner at the wheeler's and reader is nervous thinking it's going to be awkward and all but it actually goes pretty well.

LOVELY MESS — STEVE HARRINGTON

WARNINGS: anxiety, language??

PAIRING: Steve Harrington x GN! Wheeler! Reader

PSYCHOIE RADIO: What You Like — Wallows

L: Tysm for requesting anon!! This is actually something I’ve been wanting to write for a long ass time, and I’m so sorry this is a month late, I was In a rut for the third time this year, but finally, here it is!!

“Don’t worry, it’s going to be okay!” The kind-hearted guy, leaned towards you by the metal, old lockers, while you switched your books, shaking your head side to side, “Come on, whatever happened to Nance and I is over.”

Your eyes shifted to meet Steve Harrington’s, your 6-month boyfriend, who was also your younger sister’s ex boyfriend, Nancy Wheeler. Although she may have been younger, Nancy had it all, popularity, the smarts, and the looks, except you, the shadowed sister. Even your brother Mike Wheeler knew that Nance had outshined you, still being younger than you. That terribly tumbled apart as soon as Nancy confessed that she no longer loved Steve, telling him it was all bullshit, the words that hurt Steve those past nights.

You somehow got ahold of him, to get over the breakup as the two of you fought for the fate of the world along the group of kids, Mike’s friends, bringing you guys closer, leading up to confessing their feelings for one another.

“Steve I’d think it would be a bad idea.”

”How would it be a bad idea if we never tried it?” Steve cheekily grins, placing a warm kiss on your thin lips, smiling between them. You pushed his chest away with your hands, making him whine, “One more kiss come on! Or else we’ll have to go to the dinner!!”

You placed a notebook to block his wildly handsome face from kissing you again, giggling hysterically, “No, that’s my final answer.”

Steve had always been so fond about your family, the Wheelers, he knew Mike due to the previous events with the Mind Flayer and has met your mom when he was together with Nancy. But you still think it’d be awkward, you were going to bring your boyfriend, not your friend, nor Nancy’s boyfriend, but yours.

In denial, you always tried to not touch the subject, scared of it going wrong. As you saw Steve pout and cross his arms like a child, he mumbled, “I promised it’ll be ok, just let me go for once.”

”You already went to their house!” You squeaked as your palm hit his shoulder, slapping him playfully.

Steve raises his eyebrows, straightening his face while he sternly stares at you, “Yeah but I went as Nancy’s boyfriend, not yours right? So give me a shot honey.”

“I don’t know,” You started pacing along the hallway to get to class, knowing you were five minutes late, the weirdest thoughts flooding in. What if your parents don’t like the fact you’re with Steve? What if they prefer Nancy with him instead? What if-

Clearing his throat and whispering in your ear, Steve mumbled jokingly, “I know you’re overthinking Y/N.”

“Stop it!” You move a strand of hair from your face, clutching your books tighter, strolling away from him to the hallway of lockers, “What if it gets awkward? What if my parents don’t like the fact you’re with me!?”

”Can you at least think about it?” He shouts from afar, leaving his arms in the air, trying to get your attention while you tried your best to ignore him.

Soon enough, a teacher peeped their head out of the corresponding room towards the hallway for the source of disruption to find Steve’s tall figure continuing to get your attention, “Harrington! Off to class, you’re late!”

”Right! I’m sorry m’am,” Steve rapidly nods, zooming away to his Basketball period, where he knew for sure he’d get in trouble with the couch for being late. Still awaiting for his proposal to be answered with his loving mess, for a one of a kind dinner with your family, the Wheelers.

”Mike I swear to god you better not embarrass me!” You rush down the rug stairs, fixing your hair as you tucked it behind your ear, chasing your younger brother down. After Steve’s persuasion driving you nuts for that same day you both talked, you finally gave in to bring him over on a Thursday night under one condition, he wasn’t allowed to embarrass you or himself, just to keep things proper, and not awkward between your family.

As the days grew closer to the date of the dinner, the more anxious you got to the point you couldn’t bare to see Steve, keeping you and your thoughts to yourself for the past weeks. It was simple, a simple gathering with your family and boyfriend.

What could go wrong?

Everything and anything. From your parents making you look like a fool to be going out with your sister’s ex to Steve making a terrible impression on them although he’s met them already. You weren’t so logical, you were scared, not nervous but scared. What if this whole dinner would be an awkward disaster full of embarrassment and inconvenience?

But here you were, getting ready for the small event taking place in your home, chasing your brother to shut him up due to his witty comments. Now shoving your little sister Holly softly on the side to clear Mike’s path, he taunted, “Well I’m not the one kissing the pillow thinking it’s Steve! Mwah mwah!”

”Thats not true, Mike!”

You tried to reach to stop Mike from speeding through the kitchen but before you could make any other move, Mrs. Wheeler scolds at you two, “No running inside the house!”

”Sorry mom!” Both you and Mike loudly shout, slowing down your pace, suddenly catching up to Mike by dragging the collar of his blue striped polo.

As he squealed in pain and angst, you tackle him to the couch, tickling his sides on the soft brown cushion, “I got you! Now say it! Surrender!”

”Never!” His high-pitched giggled filled the cozy room, squirming under you, trying to free from your grip. Another wave of the tingles on his ribs were coming back, your fingers moving on his back.

You continued to make him laugh hysterically, lowering your voice to mimicking a villain both of you once watched on tv during a weekend night, “You must proclaim yourself as a liar! Or ye shall face the consequences!”

“I will not surrender-“

Instantly after the sharing of laughter being held by the siblings, you heard the rhythmic chime from the doorbell, Holly was making a fuss about her lack of apple juice in her sippy cup as Nancy tried to leave the porcelain plates on the clothed table in the dining room. You and Mike frantically got up from the couch after your mother was pulling you away apart, “Hey, he’s here!”

Shit.

You knew for a fact your loved one was here, an awful feel of unease aroused, making you tense unlike the past few moments before you heard the doorbell. Steve Harrington was here, at your door, for dinner with your family.

Gulping nervously, you hurried to get the door, but surprisingly Mrs. Wheeler got there before you could stand up from the comfortable couch, your heart pacing at an unstoppable speed, ruffling your top. Mrs. Wheeler opened the wooden door to find that same familiar, attractive face, both Mike and you peering on the side, roses in his hands.

”Mrs. Wheeler!” Steve kindly greets, handing her the bouquet of roses at the door, making her receive them with a soft grin.

“Hey there Steve- oh!” Mrs. Wheeler yelps when Mike harshly shoved you next to your mother, bumping shoulders with her, goofily grinning in front of him.

”Hi Steve,” You childly mimicked, but realizing the fool you made yourself look like, regretting your stupid action you made in front of your boyfriend.

As your mom signaled the brunette to walk inside the welcoming room, Steve lightly pecked your cheek, slightly bringing you closer to himself from the side as both of you solemnly walked inside the warm room. Watching the two of you, Mike made smooching and kissing noises behind you, kicking him in the shin, squeaks of pain coming out of your younger brother’s mouth in order for him to shut up.

And right as you saw Nancy slightly wave at him while walking off rapidly to find Holly for dinnertime, a sense of insecurity rushed in you. You leisurely shifted away from him, his eyes darting towards you knowing that something was up while Mrs. Wheeler rushed to the kitchen for the home cooked meal. Only 5 minutes in of the gathering and you were an anxious mess already, quietly panicking if anything else so terrible would happen, your fingers tapping the side of your thighs where they stood upon you.

“You know you can sit down right?” A gentle voice, your sister’s voice perked in the silence telling Steve. Nancy holding the little one in her arms, moved to sit Holly down as Mike lounged in the wooden chair almost staring you down jokingly to see your funny expressions.

Steve whips his head around, chuckling softly, pulling out a chair for you to sit in, “Yeah, this is why this is a dinner Nancy. You know, for sitting down and eating?”

A silence formed between the five of you, later on creating an awkward melody of chuckles being shared between Nancy and Steve, then turning away from each other, leaving this pit in your stomach at such uncomfortable state. Thoughts. Terrible thoughts rolled in meanwhile you sat which Steve offered to give you, Mike’s eyes widening while drinking the glass of milk being on the top of the table to try his best not to giggle.

Afterwards, Mrs. Wheeler interrupted the awfully weird silence with a fake, cheerful tone you knew wouldn’t be her usual self, carrying in the large plate with roasted chicken. She strictly ushered you and Nancy to bring in the rest of the side dishes from the kitchen out to the dining room as Mike and Steve chatted a little before your father strolled in to greet your boyfriend.

“Chill out Y/N,” Nancy places her thin hand on your left arm calmly, you turned your head around you understand what she was saying, “You seem tense, it’s okay.”

You scoffed at her comment jokingly, placing the bowl of greens onto the table when Nancy put the dish with fresh mashed potatoes as well. All of you took a seat, ready to feast, Steve clearing his throat to speak up, “Thank you so much Mrs. Wheeler for inviting me and for this wonderful dinner.”

“No problem Steve, ever since we met you with Nancy, you’ve been a great guy,” Your mother softly smiled, but changed her expressions once you shot your eyes towards her, “Anyways, enjoy the meal.”

Mumbles of thank yous and your welcomes being shared between one another, beginning to eat the delicious food for the evening. Shakily, you grabbed onto the silver fork, stabbing it into the chicken to eat it, the sound of plates moving around and cups being sipped, you decided to speak up, “Steve has been hanging out with Mike lately, they’re getting alone quite well.”

Your mother’s eyes widened, “Oh really? That seems like fun, having an older brother figure must be pretty cool knowing that Mike has grown up with a house full of girls right?”

Caught off guard from his meal, Mike hesitantly nodded while he falsely smiled, peering over to Steve for an agreement, “Yeah, Mike might be a little trouble with the rest of the boys, but he’s fun to be with at times.”

”A little trouble,” Your brother repeated jokingly under his breath, applying a mischievous look on his face, leaning back onto his chair, “I don’t think Y/N and Steve studying their human anatomy is-“

Before any reactions were being made from the regrettable comment your annoying brother made, Nancy slapped her hand across his mouth to shut up before he said anymore weird nonsense about you and your significant other. Steve worriedly glanced towards you with a beet red tinted face, almost wishing your mom hadn’t heard him while you stuffed your face trying to hide your expression.

“Michael what was that?” Mrs. Wheeler shot up a look towards your brother, laying her fork down with a confused face, “Human anatomy?”

In a stuttering mess, you tried to bring up some lame excuse to cover up along with Steve, you were sick to your core, knowing the stupidity that Mike claimed to be. It could be that your parents would say something terrible, you were flushed in multiple shades of red. You knew this dinner was even more terrible than expected, now your brother was making you and Steve look like a couple of fools, your hands sweating. Nancy chimed in to help between your idiotic stumbling, “It was this code name Mike used with the party and them.”

“Mmm yeah totally!” Steve wearily smiled, readjusting the hem of his red blouse he wore, watching you nod in response, a wave of relief washing inside you, “It’s the most oblivious things that are the most secretive, right Mike?”

Both you and Nancy darted a death glare towards the black-haired boy, who nodded rapidly under the threat of the siblings, “Yeah, Dustin was the one who made it up.”

”Kids these days,” Your father, Mr. Wheeler mumbles, slicing his part of the chicken in half with the butter knife as he shook his head.

Mrs. Wheeler humbly agreed, you mouthed a silent “thank you” towards Nancy’s direction, giving you a kind thumbs up later to kick Mike’s shin under the table, a quiet yelp escaping his lips for the second time. Later, feeling your hands gripping ever so tightly onto Steve’s large ones, being placed on your shaky leg.

Nancy brought up a conversation about an upcoming school event for the seniors at Hawkins High, Steve being able to catch up on the conversation. The mood was slightly calmer than it were before, things lessened up a bit as your harsh grip softened, feeling more balmy. Your boyfriend smiled, while looking off to your mom and dad who were intrigued by the conversation you were all having. Peace at last, worries washed away, it was okay.

Giggles and words were filled the large home, dessert was already handed out, Steve was on a roll to making your parents life along with your siblings, everything had merrily turned out great except the part where your mother talked about your embarrassing stories when you were little. This wasn’t so bad after all, Steve was definitely correct for once.

“Okay I have one more joke,” Your boyfriend sighed happily after the amount of laughter shared, your cheeks almost hurt from smiling too much. Steve set down his spoon then proceeded, “What did the grape say when they squished it?”

Everyone on the table shrugged, waiting for the hilarious response from him, Mike being close to burst into laughter before he said anything until Steve cleared his throat to answer, “Nothing, it just whined a little, get it?”

Once the joke was heard, your family surrounded the room with laughter, Mrs. Wheeler happily sighed after catching her breath, getting up to take the dessert plates back to the kitchen, picking one up at a time. Meanwhile your father and sister chuckled, you smiled like a freak towards Steve who was sitting next to you, holding your hand.

“See? I told you you shouldn’t have worried about his,” He whispers softly, giving you a light kiss, smiling as well, “You’re a lovely mess.”

You smacked his shoulder, earning a laugh from him, “I know I know, but at least I’m your lovely mess right?”

”Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” Both Nancy and Mike, your siblings chanted with cheeky smiles plastered on their face, being in front of you and overhearing your conversation. Steve leaned in and shut his eyes to peck your lips, suddenly you placed a napkin in front of you to avoid him, catching him off guard. Such small act brought your siblings to laugh at him, he shook his head playfully, sniggering along. Maybe this wasn’t so bad, this brought all of you together, it was okay, no, better than okay. I guess it was just Steve’s lovely mess.

tags — @samiyamuntaha @thepowerstoner @ughgclden

masterlist — request open

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muffindaddystyles · 3 years ago

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READER WITH POTS.

Y/N was 17 when one day she went to pond for a swim with her cousin; that unfortunately the few hours later she was exposed to a news that was as painful as it was to swallow.

Y/N have POTS.

Her body felt unfamiliar to her when the mere swimming had her heartbeat spiking up inflamingly high causing her to black out against the slippery rock.

It was horror. Yeah, but something more horrific than this stupid disease was her every date yeeting away from her the moment they used to hear about it.

In her eyes. She isn’t a babe from a rom-com who has a chronic illness and a lover, she's almost normal and average with a tiny malfunction in her internal factory.

Y/N had it all control. She did! Trust me! Please?

Until, one day she was on her part-time job at this shop in her block when a cute dude with his cute marble eyes stepped inside, all the 8 eyes were on him, yes except Y/N there were 3 more employs since it’s pretty empty all the time.

Call it silly. But, Y/N was so endeared as he wiggled around the narrow aisles carelessly -- but it felt like he had his scrutiny on her and her heart thought it was the best time to go kooky over a guy and embarrass her for lifetime.

She passed out against the racks and Harry was baffled, mouth closing and opening fish like, he rushed to help her up but like a slime she was all sprawled onto the floor and her fellow workers came to rescue, gave Harry awkward smiles and pulled her from armpits like a potato sack into the staff room.

It’s been 5 years and Y/N thinks she hasn’t loved anyone with this much faith and devotion before.

On their first date he didn’t made her feel like she deserves to hangout certain group of people only, he was gentle and so respectful towards her condition. He still has the cups of peanut butter ice-cream they had after their date that night, “I read that peanuts are good f'you.” He said with a soft little smile that day and got kissed in return – because gosh! Nobody has ever done that for her ever.

He used to send over salty dry fruits and banana chips to her until the next they’d be able to meet, when cuddling he always made sure they had the perfect layers of blankets and that the heat wasn’t too high and that he isn’t squishing her too warm.

Y/N would always giggle and peck him upon seeing his fridge littered with sticky notes having the little facts about her illness.

Y/N was scared -- well not scared but bit hesitant to do anything more intimate than making out, Harry made sure she was comfortable enough to trust him to do it with him and he was the sweetest angel while making love to her.

He had it all arranged himself. Silk bedsheets so she doesn’t sweat alot, the heat was very minimum, he had a tall cold glass of water on nightstand and salty granola bars for her – all of it made her cry into his chest.

He's always such a honey.

Even now when she has it all in control (Harry has helped her alot through breathing exercises different therapies and meditation, he just wants to see his sunshine happy and healthy as ever) he’s always grabbing onto her wrist to help her stand up even she assures him with a kiss that she’s alright, he always puts a pillow under her spine and makes sure to give her breaks while having sex, to adjust back the shower temperature whenever he takes one (she had an incident and it proper frightened Harry to core).

He never forgets to tell her how proud he’s of his brave and strong-headed baby.

The only time Harry didn’t fret out and giggled continuously when they went on a fun fair and Harry won this giant, 4x bigger chunkier fluffier unicorn stuffie for Y/N and she got so overly excited and joyous that she started feeling dizzy but before the damage Harry was hugging her to himself and laying them both on the ground not caring if people stared, “You’re so cute lovie,” He pecked her hair and she just grumbled into his chest at the fact she ruined the moment for them.

To this day it’s Harry’s one of the favourite memories.

Harry was reading and she was making a little sweater for their puppy when she started feeling light-head and tingly in her limps, apparently it’s happening because she has been sitting crossed legs for too long on the floor else she has rarely gotten her episodes since she turned 22.

“Harry ..” His head perks up at the weariness of her voice and she pats the mattress, eyes fluttering close as she counts the seconds in her, “’M gonna faint don’t panic okay bubby —-,” Before that Harry’s leaving his spot and skidding closer to her and laying her in his lap, his palm against her forehead and he smooches a kiss to her lips when she blacks out smiling.

He waits for her. Like he had always for her.

Her softie of a boyfriend.

She's grateful to have him in her life and surroundings.

He towers over her to block the sunlight to not to let it hurt her and his heart revives back into his bones when she comes back to him, she raises her hand to caress his face and out of habit he brings it down to her kissing her sweat fingertips.

“Hi.” He whispers with glimmering pupils and she gives out a hoarse giggle, “Hiya me most loved pillow.” Adorable smooching noise filling in the air as he exaggerated his ‘mwah' against her drumming pulse along with ‘I love yous'

“Y'wanna go for peanut ice-cream rolls?”

“Yupppp.” Y/N could never be more in love, Harry lives in the hiccups of her heartbeats.

#harry styles fluffy duffy #harry styles #cute harry #harry styles blurb #harry styles smut #harry smut #harry styles fanfiction #harry angst #hsh #fluff #dom harry #soft harry

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tahdashi · 3 years ago

Note

🎉 NEW GAME: Introduce your mutuals to everyone and what do you think of them? 🎉

Hope you’re having a splendid day sayu!

ooh i saw a couple of my moots do this !! i'll do the ones i talk to the most bc it's easier for me mwah (i genuinely think i bother them on a daily basis, and if not daily, more than i should)

this is in no particular order !!! self-ship moment 🤕

@rindouphiliac [#yuris] ris (my bf yeah) is so precious to me <3 they're the main reason i started writing and i look up to them sm !!! and and and i love talking to them about anything and they don't mind when i rant so mwah extra points <333 i think we're really cute together and would do anything to be w them rn (don't tell rindou)

@skniven [#shoyu] shona's my gf :0 pls she's so precious and pretty and angelic and i love her with my whole heart <3 we already picked out our wedding song and everything. and i like when she calls me pet names bc i get flustered v easily

@sourstars [#sandora] pandora is literally my other half. my scary dog privilege. she's so creative and funny and can tolerate my ranting (which is a lil too often sorry bby) and i love hearing her stories, too. i think we'd get along really well if we knew each other irl bc we seem like such opposites !! AND she's such a good writer i'm always in awe when she shows me what she's working on :0

@atsumiye [#riyu] riya (aka owner of dad!hq) is who i wanna be when i'm her age. she's smart and funny and so so talented !! i love everything she writes and we're getting merch made for each other bc we're each others' biggest fans. ALSO i'm blaming riya for my baby fever.

@sugamintchocochip [#saia] maia my beloved <3 he's literally so precious bc he sends me sunset pics all the time :,) i love it sm and !!! maia always checks up on me and is so so sweet :( truly one of the kindest people i've met on here mwah

@bokutoism [#saryu] ryu my pretty baby !! ryu's the sweetest angel ever lemme tell you guys. every time they message me or pop up in my inbox i smile. wow their power !! and i have the urge to hold ryu's hand 24/7. kidding not really. also their works. oh my god. literally drooling at my screen every time i go through their masterlist.

@mysterystarz [#novyu] nova and i are a lot alike i think!! we both <3 keiji and suffer through school :,) (although i'm sure she's doing far better than i am) she's so sweet and intelligent and HARDWORKING !!! talking to her is like a breath of fresh air :,) and she reminds me so much of my high school self <33 i love her

@tetsuphobia [#hanyu] hannah's my wife. we had a halloween wedding we're getting married again in the winter bc i wanna kiss under the mistletoe !!! ok but fr hannah's so precious to me bc i remember freaking out when we became moots bc she's so TALENTED. and funny. and pretty. and sweet. and i love her. and and and omg she's so comforting i literally have a mental breakdown every day and i think of her sweet words all the time. also, she makes me soup <33 best roommate ever

@yutari [#savyu] sav's gonna be my first kiss i'm in love w her and she's also the best roommate ever <3 i also think i freaked out when we became moots bc hello. TALENT. and she's really pretty and caring and loving <33 i like when she tells me about iwa and ball they're so cute. and omg whenever i talk to sav she's so sweet i wanna cry i feel so loved </3 can't wait to give her a lil smooch !!!

@melsun [#melayu] mel's my angel omg he's so fun to talk to and i love hearing about his cute moments w mystery girl hehe pls i can't help but think of atsumu n sakusa when i think of mel. ALSO i love when mel checks up on me and pops up in my inbox he does a good job of making sure i feel loved <333 conversations with mel are always fun and he's so so so talented !! melsun supremacy tbh.

@titsuya [#yusar] sar is so sweet i love talking to her so much. our friendship is an example of how fan behavior works sometimes /j 😌 i was her #1 fan before i started writing and look at me now <3333 still her #1 fan. actually i was so scared to talk to her when we became moots bc i was like :000 intimidated but she's the sweetest ever and so relatable. (we're both hot, vegetarians, college students, and poc. the sexiest combo).

@fsrintaro [#honyu] HONEY my beloved <33 she's so cute and hot and i love her. she gives off the best vibes ever and we bond over tig biddies <333 as we should tbh. omg once she woke me up with the cutest message and i fell in love all over again. i'd do anything for my honey and i really hope i can study abroad so i can meet her and take her out on a nice date >:) she deserves it !!! smooches

@kiyelle [#isayu] ISABELLE my wifey !!! one of the first moots i started talking to. she's so SWEET and pretty i'm completely head over heels for her. not only is she incredibly talented, she's also so hardworking, smart, and angelic. (i think i always use the word angelic to describe her bc there's no other word !!! she's truly an angel !!) every interaction i have with her makes me feel so warm n happy and i'm so glad i started talking to her. i'd do anything for her i'm gonna fly to france rn just to give her a lil smooch.

@faetarou [#faeyu] fae my pretty bby. i love talking to fae and interacting w her. and she has such good hcs. pls. i think about them all the time. AND she's the most thoughtful person ever how can someone be that sweet and caring and loving??? she once passed on a note from keiji and i wanted to sob it was so cute i'll never get over it.

#hi i love you guys #SORRY IF I MISSED ANYONEAKSH #i'm gonna cry if i did #i just looked through my most recent discord messages #sayu plays!

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2-cute-4-school · 4 years ago

Text

NCT Dream reaction to you getting your wisdom teeth removed

Mark

babysitting the dreamies is part of his daily job so he thinks ‘how hard can it be to take care of you for a few hours pffft’

he’s never regretted underestimating you so bad in his entire life ◑.◑

you’re not just a nightmare

you’re THE ULTIMATE NIGHTMARE

he was so embarrassed when he had to gently drag you out of the dentist’s office while you were crying cuz

“mY TOOTH!! mark, i lost my tooth, what am i gonna do?!?! i should have put a leash on it, i knew it!!!! now it’s gone and it’s all my fault!!!!” (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )

*ugly sobbing* *mark awkwardly patting your back while pulling you away from the scrutinizing glares of a few karens in the waiting room*

“mark. i didn’t even get to name it!!!”

poor bby cheetah mark is SO lost

“baby, hey, don’t cry! we’ll uh…. i’ll get you a new one!” ヾ(ﾟДﾟ;ヾ)

you look up with your glassy eyes and your right cheek chubbier than your left from the cotton lodged where your tooth used to be, your bottom lip trembling oh so cutely

and mark just…stops functioning for a moment because

‘HOW CAN ANYONE BE SO CUTE BUT SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS AT THE SAME TIME IT’S NOT FAIR !!??!?!?’

“ rweally? would you really do that for me, markie?” (◞‸◟；)

“ASFKSFRDACGCS YES LOML ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING JUST SAY THE WORD AND I’LL BRING THE MOON TO YOUR FEET YOU PRECIOUS LIL BABY” ⊂（♡⌂♡）⊃

and he still insists he’s not 120% whipped for you can you believe it

he ends up piggybacking you all the way back home because your giggles were just too cute for him to resist so he can’t even get tired with how happy he is to witness you so carefree and joyful

and his heart just melts when you leave a huuuge kith with the loudest *MWAH* ever on his cheek and you nuzzle your nose in the crook of his neck that’s like the fatal combination of cute acts ʚ♡⃛ɞ(ू•ᴗ•ू❁)

in conclusion : this man just adores you with every bit of his heart :((((

Renjun

probably asked kun to pick you both up from the dentist

you’re just too much for him smh

you’re cute and all but renjun is a tired uncle

so you’re both in the backseat with kun as your driver and it’s silent

renjun just knows something is wrong there’s no way you’re so calm

but you’re just staring at him like ◎_◎

“uh..babe, you alright?”

silence and then *GASP*

renjun just knows he’s about to facepalm himself into another dimension when you grip his cheeks in both hands

“you’re a fAIRY!!!!!!!” (*ﾟﾛﾟ)

*sigh* *muffled words* “y/n let’s calm down and just-”

he doesn’t get another word out before you shove his face in your lap and literally raise his shirt up to the nape of his neck

damn beach you know what you want huh go off

“where are they???!!?!?! where are you hiding them you impostor??!!!?”

and then you start slapping his back

“ow ow OW, Y/N WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?? STOP !!”

“YOUR WINGS!!! WHERE ARE YOUR FRICKIN’ WINGS ?!?!?” (╬ Ò ‸ Ó)

renjun is this 👌 close to knocking you out for good with a karate chop

so he just pushes you off and straps you to your seat with a second safety belt as he huffs under his breath

“i can’t guarantee you’ll live to see next week” (⊙_◎)

kun watching in the rear mirror like （͡°͜ʖ͡°）

“you know what? i’d really eat some chicken wings right now!! jun, let’s go get chicken wings!!!” ⊂((・▽・))⊃

he’s surprised you even remember his name

but you eventually exhaust yourself and pass out in the backseat of the car so renjun and kun drag you to bed

and renjun just tucks you in like the soft loving boyfriend that he is

and he just stares at you fondly and smooches you all over your face cuz

“how tf can you be so cute, you lil overexcited evil? you’re like the cutest thing in the world and it just!!!not!!!fair!!!!!” (♡ ‸ ♡ )

so even though he complains about you a lot, he’d sell his kidney just to see his lil cute bub happy i’m so soft :((((

Lee Jeno

“let’s go to the playground!!”

“y/n, no, let’s go home and put some ice on that cheek”

“but baaaabe i wanna go one the swing” ( ´•̥̥̥ω•̥̥̥` )

“then we’ll have to ice both cheeks”

“what did ya say???!!?!”

so jeno’s headache only worsened once you both arrived home with no prior stop to the playground

and as much as he loves you he also wants to bang his head against a wall and end his suffering yay o((*^▽^*))o

“just stay still for a second please, i’m really trying to tie this thing properly around your head”

you’re just so restless and jeno is just so done

“does it hurt?”

“ywes, my heart hurts because my own boyfriend doesn’t love me!!!”

“y/n, we already had this conversation, now just-”

“i just wanted a swing!!!” *bursts into tears* *jeno sighs half of his soul out* ଽ (৺ੋ ௦ ৺ੋ )৴

so jeno sits down beside you and pulls you into his lap gently, rocking you back and forth in an attempt to soothe your sobs jeno best boyfriend no cap

“there there, baby, we can’t go out-” *sobs intensify* “BUT i promise i’ll get you a swing right here if you let me take care of you first”

you leech yourself onto jeno’s sleeve and wipe your tears on his shirt but he doesn’t seem to mind the wet patch left on the material as he watches you with that soft look of his (´-ω-`)

so you let him patch you up after his reassurance and after he just pats your head affectionately and motions for you to stand up

and this man just flexes his arms and nudges you to latch on

that’s how jeno ends up with a squealing you as you swing back and forth with your fingers gripping his arm ╰(✧∇✧╰)

Lee Haechan

you want to pretty him up

because “since my left cheek looks like it’s stuffed with a tennis ball, i can’t carry the visuals in this relationship for a while, so i need to hand the responsibility over to you”

“who even said you’re the one carrying the visuals” ℃ↂ_ↂ

“oh honey you’re only now realizing?”

(╬☉д⊙)⊰⊹ฺ

he blames the anesthesia for your severe accusations

but the only way to shut you up is give in to your wishes

so that’s how he found himself seated down on the carpet of your home with your legs draped over his and your totally professional make up applied over his face

“i look like a clown”

“not even make up can cover your true identity, hyuck”

deep breaths, donghyuck, in and out, take it easy (◎ω◎*)

“any preferences for the nail polish color?”

“to match my soul”

“so hot pink” o(≧∇≦o)

*poker face* “you know i could obliviate you if i wanted to clown you”

*pout that hurts hyuck’s lil heart* “but you wouldn’t do that to your hurting baby, would you” *blinks rapidly with puppy eyes*

“you bet i would” (no he wouldn’t you’re just too cute and he loves you too much) *totally not whipped (♥ω♥*)*

painting his nails is the hugest struggle in your entire life

“WHY TF ARE THEY SO SHORT, ARE THEY TAKING AFTER YOU”

on second thought, mercy is no longer available for you

“hyuck, you should tape your fingers so you won’t bite your nails like a preschooler anymore”

“i’ll tape your mouth shut, that’s what i’ll tape” *_*

“hUH???!?!!?” (*ﾟﾛﾟ)

Na Jaemin

“okay jisung is an easy task compared to you right now”

even though this man is used to being the mom of the group

he’s still most likely in disbelief watching his otherwise angel flap around like a headless chicken

but you’re even cutter with your swollen cheek so he forgives you (︶▽︶)

“hey, jaem, did you know i’m closely related to snails??”

“entertain me” (∩_∩)

“they can sleep for years at once. that’s like my main talent.”

“it would be great for me if you’d put this talent of yours to work now”

jaemin ends up sprawled over the couch and watching dramas like a tired mom of 3 hyperactive children with you curled up at his side playing games on his phone

*hiccup*

jaemin’s brain before he even registered the sound : something’s wrong

“y/n baby?” (｡•́︿•̀｡)

*hiccup* *sniffle* *hiccup*

jaemin’s overprotective instincts kicked in ಠ╭╮ಠ

he knocks the phone out of the way and swings your legs over his lap to cradle you against his chest and hush you with the gentlest coos while rubbing your back up and down softly

“what happened, my love? does it hurt? tell nana what’s wrong and he’ll get rid in a second of what dared hurt his precious baby” just imagine this man this would be like the peak of my life 🥺

so in between your boyfriend’s comforting whispers and your harsh breaths of air you managed to let out a few words

“e-elephants, nana”

he already knows the biggest facepalm is coming his way -_-

“tHEy CAn’T jUmP, tHE poOR ELephANTs”

(ノ-_-)ノ~┻━┻

he just sighs and continues rocking you in his arms until you doze off, slumped on his chest, your head cushioned by his shoulder

he softly shakes his head at you and lays a butterfly kiss on your forehead

“i would make elephants jump just for you, my cute big baby” ♡♡(￫ε￩*)

Zhong Chenle

he halfway panics at the way you act

you’re usually the one who takes care of him so your childish act that surfaced because of the anesthesia took him by surprise

“dude they brainwashed y/n” (ﾉ｀□´)ﾉ

once you start babbling to him about the end of the rainbow and the elf that awaits there with a pot full of golden coins he knew you lost it

calls renjun

“hyung i’m sorry for saying you’re batshit crazy with your conspiracies, but aliens kidnapped y/n”

*muffled voices on the other side*

“NO, I’M NOT DRUNK!! they brainwashed y/n or even worse… returned a cheap copy of them”

renjun probably just tells him to put you to sleep and advises chenle to do the same with himself -_-

so chenle just approaches you very carefully, his voice barely above a whisper

“hey, babe, aren’t you tired?”

“actually no, how about a walk in the park???”

“idk y/n, it doesn’t seem like the best idea”

“PLEASE” 🥺

“THIS IS THE BEST IDEA OF THE YEAR BABY!!!11!!”

this man is royally whipped for you so he takes you to the nearest park and keeps a careful watch on you as you bend down to pet every dog that passes by ⊂((・▽・))⊃

while he would do anything for you, he’s very panicky about your safety so he has to hold your hand the entire time and you’re not allowed to leave his side for even a second overprotective boyfriend check

mid walk you take a break on a bench and you lean your head on cheble’s shoulder before muttering sleepily

“lele, i’m tired, imma take a nap”

“are you serious rn” (ಠ_ಠ)

but you’re already a goner and chenle is left fuming by himself

despite his annoyance he still adjusts you so he can piggyback you home and hums songs softly every time you stir (灬♥ω♥灬)

you’ll have to baby him an entire week to pay him back

Park Jisung

this boy is actually quite pleased

because for once he can take care of you and not the other way around without any complaints coming from you

so you both end up curled into each other under a blanket while watching the Frozen movies :((((((((

and for once he ends up watching you more than he watches the movie because you’re so cute reciting all of Olaf’s lines ꒰˘̩̩̩⌣˘̩̩̩๑꒱

but the fun can only last for so long

and when your mouth starts feeling ‘funny’ jisung’s mind goes haywire

“sung, i’m gonna die”

panic panic PANIC (ｼ;ﾟДﾟ)ｼ

“they poisoned you didn’t they??? i knew it!! i knew dentists are evil, how am i gonna explain i let crazy doctors perform dark magic on you???!!?!?” no offense to dentists y’all are life savers

so you have at least 2 ice packs and a bag of frozen peas clutched against your cheek and you swear you’re about to die from frostbite rather than the weird feeling coming from your teeth

and then jisung wraps you in a mountain of blankets cuz ‘we can’t have you catching a cold now too’ as if sweating your ass off is gonna fight off the numbing cold on your face ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

but babie is confused a tad lot bit scared for both his and your life

and you’re kinda very dazed so comforting him isn’t really in your agenda

he probably worries within an inch of his life ヾ( ๑´д`๑)ﾂ

too afraid to let you fall asleep just in case

so every time you doz off sweet cutie jisung just kithes you (๑°꒵°๑)･*♡

and you wake up just to kiss back your cute boyfriend

and he just chuckles and blows raspberries on your neck man jisung would be such a cute whipped boyfriend

but he ends up asleep next to you with his face buried in your hair and arms tightly wrapped around you cocooning you close to himself ah i’m getting soft again ♡(㋭ ਊ ㋲)♡

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tainted-wine · 3 years ago

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Oh wow first of all please let me congratulate you on your skill and good taste. I absolutely adore all of your hawks writing. It's so good and also hilarious when you want it to be. I especially love how annoyed he seems to get with song birds, and that low-key makes me wonder how he would be with a reader w a songbird quirk. Like he wants to find her annoying so badly, and in some ways he does? But at the same time he knows they have a lot of shared experiences as ppl with bird mutation quirks and that's kind of nice for him? To have someone to share that with, you know? Idk.

You're super sweet, anon. ♥

(This turned into a messy ficlet thing)

I don't know why I decided to make Hawks a songbird hater; it’s just a headcanon I decided to stay consistent with for whatever reason.

I've actually gotten similar asks like this and I'm currently hoarding them all in the hopes of one day making something out of it, because I love this idea very much. Hawks views songbirds as obnoxious hopeless romantics. Do they really need to be that loud about their love? It's like having the top 100 love songs playing all at once.

He already admitted that you were pretty cute when you both first met. Your wings were smaller and required frequent and rapid flaps, the opposite of his large and soaring pair. Very cute, along with your shyness in approaching a bird of prey such as him, but he promises that he doesn't bite. Then your singing began...

It’s instinctual, you say. Once your fondness for him grew strong enough, the urge to vocalize your love in the form of a song specially made for him became impossible to fight. He’ll predictably tease you at first. Creating a melody straight from your heart, the sound of your voice perfectly simulating the strength of your bond, giving other listeners a mere taste of a relationship they could not have. It’s corny, it’s sappy...

It’s so freakin’ sweet.

He blamed your quirk at first. It had to be some secondary ability that attracted whoever you decided to sing about, like some bewitching siren. It’s a dumb accusation; he trusts that you’d never manipulate him like that. It may even ignite a petty argument or two, but in the end, Hawks will accept it. He loves your song.

As wonderful as it is to just listen, he feels that he needs to reciprocate, but what is he gonna do? Sing back?? He doesn’t know how to do that. His instincts were telling him to show his appreciation in another way.

It’s instinctual, he says. He expresses the joy he feels around you by performing an amazing aerobatics show. It’s quite nerve-wracking at first. So many daring maneuvers — twirls, turns, dives, and flips — all just to impress you. And he has the gall to call songbird traditions excessive? So many of these moves could have killed him if he didn’t time them just right! It’s so dangerous, so reckless...

So spectacular.

As exciting as it was for the two of you to flaunt your natural skills, both of your rituals felt incomplete. You wanted Hawks to sing back. Hawks wanted you to dance beside him in the sky. One discussion later, you both decide on...a cultural exchange of sorts.

You want Hawks to sing? You want him to sing? Even after he promises you that his voice sounds more unsettling than the screeching of violins in a horror movie? Fine. You even protest when he mentions practicing. “Just sing from your heart,” you say. Ugh, whatever. He warned you.

At the crack of dawn, Hawks does everything as instructed. He joins your side at the top of the Fukuoka tower, and sings his heart out. He sounds terrible, he’s certain of it, but he ignores his blush of embarrassment and keeps going, letting his passion guide him like you told him.

His song is everything you could’ve asked for. His voice was shrill, unsteady, and had absolutely zero technique. But it was so...him. So Keigo Takami. The melody carries his courage and compassion. His tone reveals uncertainty in his singing, but it also reveals the raw confidence in his love and devotion. It leaves your heart melting, and before you knew it, you were joining him in a duet, trying your best to harmonize with his...erm...unique vocals. The song went on as the sun rose, prompting several noise complaints about a ‘dying bird that needs to be put out of its damn misery already.’

You give the flustered hawk a hug and kiss for that beautiful masterpiece. You also make sure he doesn’t see those complaints. He already feels awkward enough about his performance.

Alright, now it’s your turn to feel anxious. Very anxious. As Hawks led you to the seaside park, he reminded you once again that he doesn’t expect you to pull off any expert moves in the air. “If you’re really not sure what to do, then just follow my lead. I won’t do anything crazy up there. This is about trust.”

You trust that he’ll save you if anything goes wrong, whether it be during the warm-up or during the....oof, you shudder just thinking about it.

The first act has you taking off over the water, warming up your wings before your own little stunt show begins. Knowing your body’s limits, you focus on flight patterns and speed, pushing your flying abilities further than you ever have before. It doesn’t even compare to Hawks’s amazing moves — you were too scared to even attempt any of those flips — but at least you pulled off a couple spins, and Hawks looks captivated while watching from below.

You tried not to look out of breath already when it was time for act two. Hawks took flight, passing you and heading upwards. You followed, mirroring every single one of his little tricks (he thankfully kept his promise of not doing anything crazy) as you both flew higher and higher until the air became uncomfortably thin. You’ve never been this high up before.

Reaching the desired altitude, Hawks took your hands and locked them in his, bringing you in close. He gives you a few light pecks while praising your skills. “I’ve never seen you zip around like that. Such a quick and clever little bird.” The flattery almost distracts you from the final act, the part you’ve been dreading the most.

The very idea of the Death Spiral still sounds utterly insane, even as you’re about to attempt it yourself.

All you do is hover and hold each other for a minute or two, then Hawks gives the unspoken cue. His wings fold in, you quickly follow suit, and you’re both plummeting down headfirst toward the water. You did end up screaming halfway down, but at least you were still able to remain fairly focused until the end. You were just a few meters away from impact when you and Hawks simultaneously released your grip, just barely righting yourself before you could make an embarrassing splash.

Hawks tackles you hard into the ground the second you’ve recovered, hugging you tightly and attacking with rapid fire kisses.

“You did it, baby!” Kiss. “That was so intense!” Kiss. “I never thought I’d find someone to do the Spiral with!” Smooch. “You’re so brave. Thank you for trusting me!” Mwah.

You’re shaking too violently and need to go find a bathroom immediately.

---

And that’s how you and Hawks became mates and learned to better respect each other’s bird traditions. Hawks now owns a songbird calender that hangs in his bedroom.

#asks #hawks

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dontasktheradiodemon · 4 years ago

Text

Chat Log, Sept 28-ish - New York

Remember when Valera, Sir P, and Alastor went to a Broadway show? Sure you do, here’s the link. Anyway after that they hung out in New York. Like a bunch of frigging tourists, doing normal tourist things. Seeing Time Square. Checking out a local club. Singing musical numbers in the subway. Normal tourist things.

Valera

Wheeling Pentious out of the theatre is a simple matter, especially when he's too busy being.. Well. Probably horny, judging by his face, to kick up a fuss. With record, beau, and a murderous demon in tow, Valera exits the building, and the three of them are left blinking in the afternoon sun over 1960s New York City. Where to even begin?

Sir Pentious

The fresh(?) air hitting his face was definitely helping already. Sir Pentious is no longer biting his glove, having sat back in his seat, squinting up at the skyscrapers. Hmm. What to do with themselves now. He clears his throat, looking to the Radio Demon, "WERE YOU GOING TO TAKE US TO ONE OF YOUR HOT SPOTS, ALASTOR?"

Alastor

Give him a moment. It's been almost a century since he's been to New York City. About forty years from this particular New York City's temporal perspective, but for HIM, almost a century. The moment he steps outside, he's completely distracted by the street and buildings outside the theater, looking up and up. He'd forgotten what blue skies look like. "... What?"

Valera

Valera cocks her head, looking mAlastor up and down. Oh. "Nothing, dear fellow. Take a second, breathe in the air, the sights, the sounds. Let your memories come back. We've got all the time in the world to see the sights." She comes around to crouch in front of Pentious, fussing over his blanket as a cover for squeezing his hands. Plus a little forehead smooch, to distract him.

Sir Pentious

Oh, that was true, wasn't it. He had gotten so distracted with his red facedness that he'd somehow forgotten about the blue sky. That's why everything looked wrong to him. It was like Pentagram City was no longer bathed in blood red hues. It hurt his eyes, too. Still, seeing the Radio demon look so... well. Pentious couldn't think of a word to describe it. Soft and gentle words did not suit Alastor, not at all. The victorian gentleman's eyes squeeze shut at the forehead smooch, and his attention is brought solely on Valera once more. Well, he can give her actual eye contact now and... he risks a little smile, brow creased. "Hello," he whispers.

Alastor

No, such words don't suit him, but for a split second they're almost fitting. But he shakes himself out of it quickly. He's playing host to these two right now, he can't get distracted! He spins to face the two of them. "I just need a moment to orient myself! Can't see a street sign, there's so many theaters around I'm not even sure which one we've just come out of—do you happen to know which way Times Square is from here?"

Valera

She offers Pentious a soft smile in turn, smoothing the hand not holding his over his cheek. So pale, so fair. She could almost see the individual veins under his skin. He looked... Delicate? Delicate, like this. "Hello, dearest." A last bump, nose to nose, and she rights herself to turn to Alastor. "If we go southwest we can reach it in five, my good man! Hang a right and just go straight down 52nd!"

Sir Pentious

He breathes her in--how could he not? That would have to carry him through the rest of the evening, but Pentious is looking much more relaxed now. He's got a very bright smile on his face as he looks up at the two of them. Hmmm! These buildings were very tall, taller than they would have been when he would have been alive back in the late 80s. Not that he was in America, but still! Ever higher, theyd be able to reach a passing blimp!

Alastor

"52nd! Why, not far at all!" He slides his Record That Has Been Officially Autographed "Best Wishes To Alastor From Louis Armstrong" into another dimension, summons up his microphone cane—and if any passersby see these minor magics, that's THEIR problem—and points the way. "What sad excuses for tourists would we be if we didn't start off with Times Square? Onward!"

Valera

They could never live with themselves if they were stuck with the label of sad tourists, now could they? No, never them! If they're going to see the sights, they're going to do it well! Valera tucks their own record into the pocket attached to Pentious' wheelchair, moves behind, and trots after Alastor with Pentious in tow. Sure, he COULD push himself, but this is the perfect angle to dip down and give his hat a little smooch from. You can't take that from her.

Sir Pentious

He's not going to complain, he'd rather it be her behind him than Alastor. Pentious was trying to adjust to not having eyes all over himself, although if that counts as one of his abilities, he wonders if he could just grow eyes. Hmm. Pentious is marveling at the sheer size of the buildings, and the various machines driving around. Look at that! Getting excited over cars like some kind of TOURIST. "LOOK AT THAT ONE," he's gesturing at what appears to be a classic Dodge. Seats two, has space in the back, and top down! What a bright red. Pentious' eyes are SHINING. "I COULD MAKE MULTIPLE IMPROVEMENTS UPON IT!"

Alastor

They barely hit Broadway before Alastor recognizes his surroundings. If his heart was still beating, it would be trying to thump its way out of his chest. Sure, a few buildings replaced, billboards and signs trying to cover up the familiar facades, all the clothing and cars updated, yes—but he knows exactly where he is. It's hardly changed at all. He could walk from here to his old apartment with his eyes closed. And, in the process, run into a thousand people and get hit by a dozen taxis, but whatever. "Oh, I'm sure you could!" He drops back to walk alongside Sir Pentious and Valera—they're going to be walking in a straight line for several blocks, he doesn't need to lead the way—and claps a hand on Sir Pentious's shoulder. "I've always loved your cars, you know." It does not occur to him to stop and wonder whether this Sir Pentious also designed cars postmortem the way his own did.

Valera

Valera can appreciate the look of a classic car, even if her first few experiences with the four wheeled machines of anxiety-torture were, in a word, terrifying. Nicer from a distance, suffice to say. Seeing Pentious so excited was a surprise. Pleasant, but a surprise. Then Alastor, too! It was impossible to be anything but sunny with both her guests in such high spirits. All three of them, grinning away like fools as they stroll along. What a sight they must be. And come to think of it.. "When were cars invented?" More musing aloud than a true question, but she voices it anyway.

Sir Pentious

There's a hand on his shoulder, and Pentious looks up, closing his eyes as he puffs his chest out. "OHO, YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT! YES, I DIDN'T KEEP AT IT AFTER A CERTAIN POINT, BUT THE TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCES IN HELL WERE EVEN WORSE THAN IN THE LIVING WORLD. I FIGURED BETTER TRANSPORTATION WAS A NECESSITY. A DESIRE TO IMPROVE MODES OF TRANSPORTATION WAS HOW I GOT INTO THE WHOLE AIRSHIP IDEA, YOU KNOW. IT WAS ONLY FITTING THAT I'D BE DOING IT AGAIN IN HELL." He's still beaming with pride, "I WAS APPROACHED BY THE MAGNE FAMILY, ACTUALLY. IN LETTERS, MIND, BUT APPARENTLY MY ENTRY INTO HELL, WITH THE EXPLOSIONS AND FIRE AND FLYING AROUND, THAT CAUGHT THEIR ATTENTION AND THEY WANTED ME TO BUILD SOME THINGS AROUND.... IMPROVE UPON THE GENERAL ARCHITECTURE OF THE PLACE! EVERYTHING WAS RUBBISH. I INITIALLY THOUGHT TO SAY NO, BUT HE WAS LUCIFER. HA! IF ONLY MY MOTHER HAD SEEN THAT, SHE WOULD HAVE DISOWNED ME AND HAD ME COMMITTED, HAD I NOT BEEN DEAD ALREADY." He's really just excitedly yammering on. It's like listening to one's exceptionally English grandmother talk about meeting the Queen. He pauses, to tap the side of his head, "INVENTED? OH, RIGHT, RIGHT. WELL, IN THE LATE 80s, MY LOVE. BUT PEOPLE WERE ALREADY THINKING ABOUT MAKING SOMETHING LIKE THAT FOR A WHILE, EVER SINCE THE STEAM LOCOMOTIVE'S SUCCESS, IT, IT REALLY DIDN'T TAKE LONG AT ALL. THOUGH TO ME, THAT WAS EASY. IF I'D TOLD YOU THAT I'D DESIGNED THE FIRST CAR, YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE ME, SO I'LL LEAVE IT UP TO YOU!"

Alastor

Alastor nods along as he listens, unconsciously tilting his cane in Sir Pentious's direction as though he's presenting a microphone toward an interviewee. He's heard most of this explanation before, years and years ago—but the details vary slightly, just enough to be intriguing. What he wouldn't give for two biographies of Sir Pentious from two different universes, laid out side-by-side for him to compare them. "Approached by the Magne family?! Now, there's an honor! As infamous as I am, even I've never been contacted by the royal family. I had to go and introduce myself to the princess." Alastor actually wouldn't have guessed the late eighties. "I don't think I knew a single person who owned a car until I was well into my teens. They were luxuries before then."

Valera

Valera hums, focusing on rolling Pentious through the crowds more than the actual conversation at hand. Still what she does pick up at least SOUNDS impressive. Lucifer was part of the Mange family. So... Charlie Magne. Oh, that's funny. Right. Plus being approached by the king of hell to improve the infrastructure of an entire kingdom, plus allegedly inventing the modern deathtrap that is a car. That's also impressive, yes. "I don't see why I wouldn't, you've certainly got the technical know-how to build any car you please. In fact, knowing they were built while you were alive, I'd be surprised if you didn't at least have some prototypes in the works before you died!" Mwah, another dip down to reach over one side and peck his cheek. Good work, Penny.

Sir Pentious

Oh he's being praised from both sides, he's going to bask in this for quite some time. "I NEVER FORMALLY DROVE ONE AROUND TOWN UNTIL AFTER I'D DIED. IT WAS MORE REASONABLE TO STAY OUT IN THE COUNTRYSIDE, UNLESS I WERE GOING TO MAKE A STATEMENT IN MY VESSEL."

Alastor

"Of course! You figured out how to get a steamer out of the ocean and into the SKY—who am I to question it if you say you got a train off its tracks too?" The praise train won't stop chugging. "I mainly rode them out in the countryside, too. Having them in cities just seems..." He gestures at the cars clogging Broadway and preventing each other from getting anywhere.

Valera

She coughs, a bit embarrassed. "I don't have much experience with cars, personally. Mostly riding in them and being incredibly confused about why I had to sit in the little fast noisy box instead of teleporting like a civilized being. Nevermind that most species aren't capable of such luxuries. Cars certainly look sleek though, and they're really not that bad. I prefer the convertibles though." Luckily, or unluckily, she can't do the full air quotes around Little Fast Noisy Box. But she shrugs, and it's close enough.

Sir Pentious

"IF THEY'RE BUILT WRONG, THEN THEY ARE BASICALLY LIKE DRIVING AROUND IN A COFFIN! JUST WAITING TO CATCH FIRE!" He even points out a car when he says that, "BUT YES, COULDN'T REALLY SIT IN ONE NOW. MY BODY IS A LITTLE LONG FOR THAT. I COULD MAKE A CAR THAT FITS MY NEEDS, BUT I DO NOT NEED ONE. I PREFER THE AIR."

Alastor

"Unfortunately, around our neighborhood, most civilized beings don't know how to teleport! It's a pity, you'd think they'd make that a requirement. Alastor glances Sir Pentious up and down. "You don't look too long now, we could go for a joyride before we go home. Know how to hot wire a car?" He's 100% not joking. Oh, they've made it to Times Square. Alastor's got to stop dead for a moment, just staring around at all the buildings. "Would you look at that." He's got that look on his face again. "It's exactly how I remember it." Minus the billboards etc., of course.

Valera

"I do. But I'm more familiar with modern cars. I doubt the design has changed too much though." Oh good, Alastor's distracted again. That gives Val time to drape herself over the back of Pentious' chair, propping her chin on top of his head in a lazy sort of hug. Maybe get a little hair stroking in there as she watches Alastor take in the scenery. He certainly did seem attached to this city, maybe she should offer him the same Deal she did his alternate someday..

Sir Pentious

Hey, hot wiring a vehicle does sound fun! Excellent with his wheelchair predicament, not so much. Pentious smiles up at his beloved, removing his hat to give her a bit more room for the moment. "CAREFUL YOU DO NOT CRUMPLE MY ACCESSORY, MY LADY."

Alastor

Okay, all right. He's had his moment. He's basked in the confusing glory that is somehow, impossibly, being back in NYC. Back to being a good host. He whirls back to Sir Pentious and Valera. "So! My old stomping grounds were in Harlem; if you want jazz, that's the place for it. We can take a taxi, take the subway—or hoof it, if we want to be elegant." He winks. "But I never have been an elegant man."

Valera

Valera doesn't bother pulling away this time, setting her cheek down on all the new space Pentious has opened up for her. Mwah, a kiss for the top of his head. He's to blame, surely. The reference gets a snort, but then she thinks about the question. A frown, and she lifts a hand to brush through Pentious' hair. Comforting? Maybe self soothing. "Perhaps the subway? I don't know how many wheelchair accessible taxis are around here."

Sir Pentious

The reference definitely is caught and Pentious makes a face. "YES, I AM NOT VERY ELEGANT EITHER, AT LEAST NOT ENOUGH FOR A JAUNT." He pats his immobile legs, "HOW IS THE RAPID TRANSIT IN NEW YORK ANYWAY? I'M AFRAID I AM UNFAMILIAR, I KNOW HOW IT SHOULD FEEL IN THEORY."

Alastor

"I'm sure that for a taxi ride we could teleport your chariot away and back"—he obviously isn't terribly concerned with subtlety—"but the subway will probably be more convenient anyway." He gets on his toes, looking around for the nearest subway station—he feels so short—then points and leads the way. "Wonderfully efficient, except when it isn't. But that was almost a hundred—er—forty years ago! No doubt the basics are the same, at least..."

Valera

Ugh, more moving? Awful. She has to stop her ridiculous draping over Pentious like some overly affectionate feather boa and go back to actually responsibly pushing him around! A last peck for the road, and she extricates herself to grip the handles and follow after Alastor's spritely steps. Wasn't HE energetic? "Ah, the subway. Never been, but I assume we'll need..." A glance around, and she adjusts the purse she for sure had this whole time. "...Currency to purchase tickets? Where would one go for that?"

Sir Pentious

That energy wasn't new to Pentious, but it did seem like Alastor was solar powered after all. He can recognize a clear difference--he looks like a man mere seconds from bursting into song. People are passing by, it IS New York after all, and some looks are being cast Alastor and Pentious' way--Valera's, too. She's quite the looker! Sir Pentious readjusts his hat on his head, and he drags his fingertips against his lips as he watches the scenery pass ever so slowly, "THIS CITY IS SO BOISTEROUS--WE ARE LIKELY TO BE PACKED INTO THAT TRAIN LIKE SARDINES. NO OFFENSE, MY LOVE."

Alastor

"Getting up close and personal with other commuters' body odor is all part of the busy city experience!" If he wasn't busy navigating/narrating, he probably WOULD burst into song. Watch out for humming. "There should be a ticket window downstairs! I'm sure you can cover the fare, can't you? You covered the theater tickets quite handily—" He stops dead at the top of the stairs down to the subway. Emphasis on "stairs." "Hm." Well, he's completely ready to carry Sir Pentious down the stairs. The question is how to say so without sounding eager about it.

Valera

The sardine comment earns Pentious a snicker. She'd do move, but alas, they must move. "Oh, yes of course I can. Now, 'scuse me, dear. Need to get down there!" Alas, poor Alastor. He'd set a precedent with all his summonings and minor magics. Valera saw no issue with swerving around their tour give and making an invisible (to any normal human) ramp straight down the stairs like it was the most natural thing in the world. Who's going to complain if Pentious isn't getting jostled around? Perhaps she simply has superb upper arm strength!

Sir Pentious

Oh. Stairs. Hmm. He's about to make a comment, only to notice the ramp. Ah! How handy. Sir Pentious beams as he's not being bumped around like a sack of potatoes. "YOU KNOW, ALASTOR, IT'S REALLY RATHER ODD TO HEAR YOUR VOICE WITHOUT ALL THAT RADIO STATIC IN THE WAY! IT MAKES YOU KIND OF FADE INTO THE BACKGROUND?" And it's probably weird not hearing Pentious hiss every time he says an S, although apparently he just naturally drags out his S's. He might have done that in life.

Alastor

"Fade into the background! You insult me, Sir." Tone of joking faux offense aside, he is insulted. Him? Fade into the background? THE Radio Demon? Broadcaster extraordinaire, voice that can command the attention of a million pairs of ears at once? How would Sir Pentious like being told the Wright brothers did it better? He brushes off the insult. He's been resting on his laurels for decades, he knows that. Maybe he should work on his presentation some more. "You think that's weird, try listening to a snake suddenly start talking like a human." A ramp works too. Maybe Alastor doesn't get to carry Sir Pentious, but he DOES get to kick a bit of flat rubbish onto the ramp and see if he can stand on it and sled to the bottom. He can. He trips at the bottom.

Valera

"Boys, boys, you're both pretty." Valera will do nothing to save Alastor from his own hubris. But she WILL make sure Pentious gets to see his antics before she moves along to purchase tickets for the three of them. A miserable affair, but all that's left is to wait for their.. train? Subway? Ride? She hums. "Is there any meaningful difference between a train and a subway? Surely not, right?"

Sir Pentious

"OH, I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT THAT SOUNDS LIKE!" Smooth. Pentious snorts against his glove, watching him trip--it was always fun to watch Alastor prance about. He's going to look over at Valera, reaching for her hand to pet it gently in his, "A QUICK TRIP FROM ONE AREA TO THE NEXT! ALTHOUGH, FROM THE SOUND OF IT..." He can hear a train leaving, probably they were going to catch the next one. How the station fills with noise! "FASTER."

Alastor

Alastor picks himself up, brushes himself off with great dignity, and answers without acknowledging his spill, "Sure, it's for when the rail-way is sub-terranean!" He trots after Valera and Sir Pentious. "Actually, maybe we don't need tickets." He'd just seen the turnstiles and had his memory jogged. "We also might be able to put our nickels in at the turnstile. That was a new feature when I moved here, don't know if they kept—twenty cents?!" He gapes at the price card on the turnstile asking for tokens; and then, turning toward the other two, repeats indignantly, "TWENTY cents?!" Better buy some tokens after all. Once they're through the turnstiles and Alastor has recovered from this fresh scandal, he notices a route map on the wall—oh good lord, they multiplied—and starts studying it for a route. He puts one finger on Times Square, one near his old apartment in Harlem, and—oh, all right, there's the old line he used to use, buried beneath all the others. "Now, hold on! There's a lot more lines now, we don't know if that's the right—" He squints at the sign on the train that just pulled up, squints at the map, and yells, "It's the right one!" He books it for the train, half-breathlessly humming "New York, New York" as he goes.

Valera

Pentious' pats are appreciated, but all too soon she's distracted once more by Alastor's frantic energy. Mostly the offended outburst at the, apparently, ludicrous pricing. She blinks, uncomprehending. "Twenty cents..?" Is that a lot for this era? Surely she can find enough change in her purse-- Oh he's off again. Dear gods, are subways always so terrifyingly hectic, or is this just a perk of being here with Alastor? Valera swears under her breath, grabs the wheelchair, and starts chasing Alastor down. Hopefully he's as confident as he sounds with his choices, otherwise it's the blind leading the blind here, and Pentious is stuck along for the ride.

Sir Pentious

Twenty cents!!!!!!! Though he had used a different currency, his father had been american and he had been educated in such things. That was a lot. Couldn't be to maintain the train, right? Likely, that was the reason given, but in actuality, taxing people based on quantity alone was just good business. Local Villain Here. He'd charge twenty cents if it were him. Actually, he'd probably charge an arm and a l--EEEEEEEGHHHHHHHHHH!!! Quite suddenly, he's being RUSHED along in his wheelchair, holding onto his hat while his eyes are wide as saucers!!! "ALASTOR, YOU BETTER NOT BE WRONG OR YOU'LL BE MEETING THE TRACKS SOONER THAN THE TRAIN!"

Alastor

"If I'm wrong, we'll have an adventure somewhere else in the city!" But he's probably right. There's a lot less wood in these subway cars. Pity, they used to look nicer. He takes a seat with enough room next to it for Sir Pentious's wheelchair, crosses an ankle over his knee, and hums cheerily.

Valera

It's tempting to take a seat as well, but Valera will stand. SOMEONE needs to keep Pentious from rolling around the whole trip, and she's not going to leave her beau to defend himself against the crowds. And oh, dear gods, she hadn't thought about the crowding. It's fine. A few minutes of unpleasantness will be well worth it. Backing into the aforementioned space with fiance in tow, she scoots his chair as close to Alastor as she can manage, already on the lookout for any unpleasant sorts. With a face like murder and a voice like she was discussing the weather, she begins combing her fingers through Pentious' hair once more. "Wow, sure are a lot of people around here. We aren't likely to run into trouble, are we?"

Sir Pentious

Okay, he's not as jostled anymore, and with Valera and Alastor here, he wants to assume he won't get trampled. Well. Can't be sure of that from Alastor. He'd probably encourage a stampede, knowing him. Sir Pentious rolls his neck some, frowning at the lack of flexibility he'd become so accustomed to. Feeling hands in his hair, the former-snake quickly turns to look at Valera, and his briefly tense expression softens. Time to look back at Alastor, "YES, ONE CAN ONLY IMAGINE. YOU ARE IN THE COMPANY OF TWO DEMONS, VALERA. IF TROUBLE DOESN'T COME TO US, WELL, IT'S LIKELY TO MANIFEST FROM OUR GENERAL VICINITY!"

Alastor

"Three of us together, this time of day? Surely nobody would try to bother us!" He smiles innocently and bats his eyelashes. "If we want trouble, we'll just have to start it ourselves." On the other hand, one of them a woman, one of them in a wheelchair, and one of them using a cane—and the latter two dressed like they'd come from a costume party. If anyone wants to cause trouble, they might be targeted. But if they were, whoever bothers them is in for a series of rude surprises. He starts humming again as the train rolls along, this time wordlessly singing under his breath, "Da da-di-da dah~" The musical number danger zone has been breached, they are near the point of no return.

Valera

Oh no... She knows that tune, turning to raise an eyebrow at the musical strawberry himself. Really, Alastor? Right now? In the middle of a subway ride? Well, then again. He'd surely missed Earth, and the city life, and... Ah, what the hell, not like anyone here could STOP them. She grins, snickers, and starts humming along as her fingers start twiddling to the beat. There's never a bad time for a musical number when nobody can beat you in a fight, now is there?

Sir Pentious

........... WAIT, WHAT'S HAPPENING. Sir Pentious looks alarmed, glancing between Valera and Alastor. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT IS THAT TUNE? I DO NOT RECALL IT FROM THE PRODUCTION!"

Alastor

"Oh, this tune won't be written for another decade or so! But you might be able to catch the chorus after a round or two." He's gotten too used to Hell, where the musically-inclined (and dangerous) can burst into song any time they want and nobody can do a thing about it but grumble and maybe laugh mockingly. Today, New York gets to experience true Hell on Earth: some tourist singing loudly on the train when you're just trying to get through your daily commute. Alastor stands, adjusts his monocle, winks at Valera—you know this one, right?—grabs a pole with one hand for support, and starts singing into his microphone cane: "Staaart spreading the news~" And he will keep singing until they reach their destination or one of the two people he actually knows tells him to stop.

Valera

Ah, could be worse. At least this subway car, Pentious included, gets to enjoy a LOVELY (allegedly) pair of voices on the trip over. Valera lets Alastor have his moment in the spotlight, harmonizing when appropriate and sticking to an acapella backing. So much harder to carry a tune without a band behind you, and she's perfectly happy to play the part. When they finally arrive at Harlem, she just. Wheels Pentious out like that was a perfectly normal thing they just did.

Sir Pentious

, Pentious can only stare at the two of them in abject horror. What are they doing!! Singing in public like this! It makes sense in a production, but this was real life! OH just... Hide his face...... Until they're off the train.....

Alastor

He's in the zone, he's having a good time. He doesn't even notice the horror he's causing until they reach their stop and he stops singing. As they get off, he wryly asks, "Too much?"

Valera

Valera snorts, rolling to a stop in an open area so she can pat her beau. "Oh don't worry my good fellow. Penny gets flustered over anything. Did you not enjoy our singing, love?"

Sir Pentious

He's so huffy, looking at the two of them with the reddest cheeks!!! "YOU TWO ARE INSANE. SINGING LIKE THAT IN PUBLIC! NO ONE ELSE CONSENTED TO BEING PART OF YOUR LUNACY." Says the Supervillain who Murders People.

Alastor

If he gets flustered that easily, that means they ought to be putting MORE effort into not flustering him, doesn't it? "Frankly, I don't care what any of those people consented to!" He gestures back at the subway car drawing away. "But VERY WELL! If you'd rather your regal reputation not be besmirched by your association with a couple of accompanying bards, then I'll simply have to resist the temptation in public." Alastor can sing any other time he wants. Like hell is he going to let a couple of musical numbers be a reason for Sir Pentious not to call on him to hang out again.

Valera

"Oh, Alastor! So considerate!" Valera titters, coming round the front of the wheelchair to look Pentious something akin to head on. Talking from behind him was getting weird! "If that is the bar you're setting, my love, so be it! But why is it alright to murder them, and not serenade them? Do you simply want us to... Reserve our voices for you alone?" A flutter of her lashes, first at Penny, and then at Stick. She's connected the dots. She's connected them. "Why darling, why didn't you say so? If I'd have only known!"

Sir Pentious

.............................. Sir Pentious is looking absolutely mortified.

"WHAT???? NO! THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT AT ALL!!!" Do not LOOK at him!! He scowls, pointing at Valera, "YOU ARE TWISTING MY WORDS!!! YOU ARE SINGING A SONG I DO NOT EVEN KNOW!"

Alastor

Goodness, Valera, don't say things that make Alastor's dead heart jump into his throat, it just hurts when he has to swallow it back down. And it leaves a funny aftertaste. "Don't you worry, my friend—no songs but the ones our listener calls up to request! Otherwise, the station will be playing nothing but John Cage's 4'33"!" He pantomimes zipping his mouth. It feels kind of weird without being able to add a zipper sound effect.

Valera

"Alright, alright. Message received, dearest." Pointing at your fiance is rude, Pentious. But Val can forgive him, this time. By taking his accusatory gesture in her dainty little human hands and pressing a kiss to his knuckles. Mwah. "Oh, 4'33"? I love that one! Though they keep copyright claiming and muting the audio on the websites I frequent. It's the damndest thing." A wink is thrown to Alastor, and she lifts herself up into a good stretch. "Alright, enough of our nonsense. Alastor, my dear fellow? Lets hunt down a jazz club for dearest Penny. Perhaps he'll enjoy a good trumpet more than our nonsensical crooning."

Sir Pentious

Oh SHIT she's kissing his hand again--well, fine whatever! He huffs. Pentious probably wouldn't have MINDED a musical number, but he is clearly the type to want a lot of ... warning. Or maybe to not be trapped in a wheelchair. Or maybe............. a slew of YEAH BUTs. You never know with this guy. (You do know. He's grumpy.) "I JUST WOULD PREFER SOME WARNING..."

Alastor

Alastor doesn't have the slightest idea what copyright claiming is, but he understands the concept of muted audio just fine. "I tried to watch a live performance, but I was so far back I couldn't even hear the song! What a disappointment." Asking for warning is quite a step down from asking for them to hold off on the musical numbers altogether, and Alastor doesn't trust this abrupt deescalation at all. Sir Pentious is probably proposing a compromise that will just inspire further irritation if Alastor actually goes along with it. Oh no. Alastor's playing it safe. "Don't you worry, I won't be subjecting you to any more musical embarrassments," Alastor reassures him. "Now! Most of the clubs I went to only operated at night, but that was back when booze was illegal! Let's see if we can't find one that's still open and has daylight hours!"

Valera

Or! Or he's had his ruffled scales smoothed by Valera's affections! She's good at that! But she doubts there'll be any more musical numbers anyway, it'd be rude to take over a jazz club for a number, and they already made an elegance joke on their commute. Another kiss to his knuckles, and she drops Penny's hand to go take up the handles of his chair again. You never know, with Alastor. He might start sprinting away again. "Oh? Are we going to have to go door to door then?"

Sir Pentious

Pentious leans back in his seat, looking around at the people passing by. "ILLEGAL! WHAT DID AMERICANS DO FOR FUN? OR TO DROWN THEIR SORROWS?"

Alastor

Sure, like Alastor hasn't seen enough lovestruck men to know how willing they are to say things they don't really mean when a lady they find pretty coos at them. The fact that Valera's here to smooth his ruffled scales is half the reason Alastor doesn't buy a word of the retraction. "Why, what do you think we did? We broke the law! Yessir, America drank more during Prohibition than it did before! We bribed the officials trying to crack down on bootlegging with whiskey! One story goes—at least, the way I heard it—that when a Mabelman came to Chicago to see how hard it was to find an establishment selling illegal alcohol, it took him twenty minutes! In Detroit, fifteen! In New Orleans—my beloved New Orleans—it took him five seconds! He got into a taxi, asked the driver if he knew where a man could get a drink, and the driver said 'right here' and pulled a bottle out from under his seat!" Door-to-door it is. While he waxes dramatic on the abysmal failure of America's dumbest amendment, he leads them down a street toward what had once been a hotbed of speakeasies where jazz played.

Valera

Ah, and there's Alastor, prattling on like the chatterbox he is. Valera doesn't even need to say a word, just humming at the interesting parts and rolling after the stoplight red radio host. Gods did he stand out, maybe she SHOULD have put him in a different outfit.. Ho hum.

Sir Pentious

The story gets Pentious grinning wide again--it's probably very weird seeing him without those sharp teeth of his. He slaps a hand down on one of the armrests as he laughs. "HAAAA HA HAHA!! OF COURSE IT WOULD BE THAT EASY!!! YOU CAN'T KEEP A MAN FROM HIS LIQUOR!!! THE MORE YOU HIDE SOMETHING FROM SOMEONE, THE MORE THEY WILL GO OUT OF THEIR WAY TO TAKE IT."

Alastor

"And trying to get it is just more fun that way." Like treats stuck inside toys as enrichment for a cat. It's weird seeing clearly-visible bars and clubs advertising their drinks freely. Alastor's used to it in Hell, but in this place, a place he remembers, it seems wrong. Several places advertise live jazz; he searches for one that's live right now,not in a few hours.

Valera

Venues, venues everywhere, and not a club to-- Oh, there's one with a few people coming out of it. And not JUST white people, at that. That's significant, for reasons Val doesn't quite remember off the top of her head, but she jerks to a halt anyway, giving the building a closer look. A flashy, lit up sign casting bright white light down onto the streets of Harlem. A strange little overhanging structure over the door. A.. Marquee? Yes, a marquee, advertising names she didn't recognize, declaring they were playing THAT NIGHT! People going in and out, lights on display... Surely it must be open? She moves closer, glancing over to see if Alastor's noticed the same thing she has.

Sir Pentious

Pentious doesn't really have anything to say, he's still watching people pass to and fro. People from all walks of life, it seemed.

Alastor

He certainly has noticed what she has, and he's delighted at the sight. "Well! Look who's still in business! I used to come here when I was alive!" The fact that not JUST white people were coming out of it was probably a contributing factor to that. "I even played here once or twice. You know—when they let the amateurs get on stage. Ha!" Tonight doesn't look like an amateur night—he doesn't recognize the names on the marquee either, but they certainly suggest the stage isn't free for casual jam sessions. Well, he doesn't think he's going to be performing any more today, anyway. He gestures grandly toward the entrance. "Shall we?"

Valera

"Oh good! You're familiar with the establishment, then? Perfect! Hope nobody recognizes you, they'll be hounding you for your beauty secrets the whole time!" A snort, and she pushes through the doors to reveal.. Well now, wasn't this lovely? A standalone bar, well spaced tables with lovely linen cloths, an open space for dancing in front of the modest stage. Open, accessible, and not a stair in sight! With the music already crooning and the smell of food from the kitchens, it was hard not to feel right at home despite never having been here.

Sir Pentious

Oh, now this is a venue indeed. Sir Pentious tilts his head as they head inside... What an atmosphere! He smiles, relaxing a little more. "AH, THIS WILL DO NICELY." Food.... Yes, he was getting peckish but he's not sure what would be on the menu.

Alastor

"If I run into anybody I recognize, I'll claim to be Al Junior and ask who knew my dad. Hah!" He idly wonders if his duplicate had ever even visited here. They can figure food out once they're seated—although, once they are, Alastor almost immediately forgets about the menu to pay attention to the music.

Valera

If only they could all be so easily distracted from the siren song of food! Valera fixates on the menu the second they're seated, tapping a few options before she looks up at her guests. "If it wasn't obvious, dears, I'm paying. Get as much as you want of anything you want." SHE is going to get an appetizer and a drink. It's only the afternoon, but an old fashioned and a shrimp cocktail are calling her name.

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious looks at the menu, and... He makes a face, as he usually does when he's met with something he doesn't like or understand. He brings the paper closer to try to read out these items.... But then he just sits back, dropping the menu itself and drumming his fingertips upon the table. "WELL SO FAR NOTHING SOUNDS APPETIZING. I'LL HAVE A POT OF TEA." Scowl. It might be better to let him see what he'd be getting, since he's barely got any idea about many of these, "THEY LIKELY WON'T PREPARE IT THE WAY I LIKE." Big Fussy!

Alastor

"Oh, you'll regret that." Alastor is not known to be considerate when other people are paying for him. The music sounds like what he hear in jazz clubs in the—let's see, he remembers being incredibly drunk—the 70s? That must be the lag between mortal world innovations and how long they take to reach Hell. He finally picks up the menu—oh, ooh, he's probably going to order half of this.

Valera

"MAKE me regret it, my dear! I dare you." She's making money out of pocket lint and wishes, deer boy. You can't break this bank with a big appetite. A pause, and she glances at her beau in his huffy glory. Oh, Penny's texture aversion, right.. A closer look at the menu, and she leans in to point a few of the softer choices out to him. "Maybe the gumbo? That should be soft enough.. Or the steak? I hear they've got nice steaks. And just ask them to make the tea a certain way! I'm sure they'll cooperate."

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious tends to expect others to disappoint him, but he'll try to be somewhat less pessimistic. He's having dinner with Alastor and Valera, after all. "THEN I'LL HAVE A GUMBO. SURPRISE ME." which probably just meant choose the type for him. "THE TEA SHOULD BE FINE, UNLESS AMERICANS DO NOT KNOW HOW TO BOIL WATER."

Alastor

"I'm never introducing you to iced tea." He taps the menu. "They've got sandwiches, too." Alastor isn't sure what Sir Pentious's issue with the food is—although now Alastor's heard the both of them mention that Sir Pentious is particular a few times—but Sir Pentious brought sandwiches to their indoor picnic, so that ought to work, right? "I think I'll get gumbo, too." He remembers being sorely disappointed the last time he tried it, but he wonders if forty years have changed that. "... And maybe the oxtail soup." To cover up the inevitable disappointment from the gumbo. And the filet mignon with mushrooms. And the live lobster, like hell is he passing up a chance to get fresh shellfish while he's in the mortal realm. And— He can take leftovers home, right?

Valera

"Who knows? As far as I'm aware, Americans are mostly known for throwing their tea into harbors, not preparing it." Perfect, here comes the waiter now. Valera orders their appetizers and drinks, then wave the poor human away before they hear anything they shouldn't. The last thing these three need is even more attention than the two demons are drawing with their looks alone. And now, while they wait for these brief minutes.. She leans back in her chair and sighs. This is nice, all things considered. Being able to relax to any degree around Alastor AND Pentious? Not something she'd expected to ever achieve.

Sir Pentious

ICED TEA??? He looks at Alastor with abject HORROR at the implication. The waiter coming and going was a fine moment of Sir Pentious just staring at people when they address him, rather than. Being casual about it. It was impolite to not face someone when speaking to them, his mother had explained, and apparently he'd gotten back at her for this by pointedly staring at anyone who spoke to him to the point of making them uncomfortable. HE WINS THE SOCIETAL ETIQUETTE CHALLENGE. HE IS THE VICTOR!!! Holy shit though, that was a LOT of food that Alastor ordered. Pentious can't help the grin that spreads on his face as he leans towards the deerman, "STORING FOR WINTER, ARE YOU?"

Alastor

"Sure, if I get through all this I'll need to hibernate for a month!" He also threw in a couple of sandwiches, a crab salad, an order of golden buck, and Roquefort cheese. When is he going to get this easy access to fresh mortal food next? "You're both welcome to steal off my feast, I plan to sample everything and take the rest home with me anyway."

Valera

Damn, she gives him a blank check and Alastor does his best to order everything on the menu. Guess he really doesn't like the food in hell! Valera stretches and leans back into the conversation, propping her elbows on the table to support her head. A lazy glance around to ensure nobody's looking too closely.. Good. A little attention was inevitable, but it would be a shame to play cleanup in such a nice establishment. A hum.. "Why thank you! But my goodness, if I'd known you were so desperate for proper food, poor dear, I'd have invited you to use my kitchens while you were over last."

Sir Pentious

Now there's an idea. Pentious thinks about the three of them in the kitchen and he can't help but snicker, "AND ALASTOR MIGHT HAVE COOKED ONE OF YOUR CITIZENS! NYA HA HA!" Very funny. He's started paying attention to the musicians now, turning to watch them with interest. The gentle crooning was pleasing.

Alastor

"I wouldn't say desperate! I would say incurable gluttonous and absolutely shameless about taking advantage of those who offer me kindness without putting boundaries on it!" The sweetest smile. "Plus, I'm fairly sure none of the money you're paying with is real." Now there's an idea. "Well, if you happen to have any citizens you wouldn't miss..."

Valera

"It's real enough!" A pause, assessing her statement, and she amends with a mutter of "It wont disadvantage the establishment any, at least. I'm not that heartless..". Cough. And how convenient, a subject change! She beams at the two of them, showing off those weird flat teeth humans have. "Oh, if you're interested in trying Veci, we have PLENTY of undesirables! Though I'd warn you that the different breeds give a wide variety of flavor profiles, so you'd have to plan accordingly."

Sir Pentious

Oh they are actually taking it seriously. He snickers at that!! "I DOUBT THAT KIND OF THING WOULD DISSUADE ALASssTOR. AS YOU CAN TELL FROM WHAT HE'S ORDERED, HE IS A BIT OF A FOODIE!!"

Alastor

"There's the understatement of the century." He leans toward Valera, arms crossed on the table. "Give me the menu! Fair warning, at times I'm a bit of a food snob. My tastes skew toward the upper class." Perhaps more honest to say that his tastes skew away from the lower class until he learns why, exactly, they were deemed "undesirable."

Valera

She blinks at Alastor, keeping a carefully neutral smile as she turns that over in her head. Was that a threat? No, that was silly. He wasn't stupid, he must believe status made a difference. And didn't it? Higher quality foods, higher quality meats. Yes, that makes sense. She clears her throat and nods, casting her mind back to what she recalled. Ahem. "Well! A coastal veci like myself has very tender, buttery flesh. Melts in your mouth, so they say. A more open ocean type like, say, my friend Istoph, has much firmer, strongly flavored meat. Very much the game of the Veci world. I'd avoid the deeper sea Veci, their meat tends to be..." She grimaces. "It tends to be either rubbery, or gelatinous. And they're scavengers, so they taste like the fermented meat they live off of."

Sir Pentious

This is a very weird conversation to be in the middle of. Sir Pentious is looking at Valera the entire time they're describing what the meat of her species is like. He has bitten into her before, he RECALLS the tender flesh. ............... Oh probably shouldn't think of that right now. "AND VERY POISONOUS, ALSO. THE LOT OF YOU, CORRECT?"

Alastor

And now Alastor is thinking of biting her, but for completely different reasons. Sounds delicious. "I'm sure you must have recipes to get around the poison issue!"

Valera

Valera reaches over, taking Pentious' hand to give it a gentle squeeze. "It's not uncommon for coastals to have some form of venom, but the flesh itself is safe. My toxins are the result of some clever genetic tampering." A proud little head waggle! "Oh, and yes. The toxins break down in heat, so fully cooking the flesh is enough. Or you can be immunized against them, like Penny was!"

Sir Pentious

He smiles, holding her hand in his and stroking over it with a gloved thumb. "DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT YOUR TAIL WAS TORN OFF AND DEVOURED BY SOMEONE BEFORE?"

Alastor

Alastor's eyebrows shoot up and he leans around to try to see Valera's tail before remembering that, in their disguises, she doesn't have one. "That's a fair amount of flesh to grow back!" Like a lizard.

Valera

"Hah! You remembered that? Yes it was, my love!" She snorts, pulling his hand up to kiss his gloved knuckles. Mwah. It's nice having things she mentioned so casually be remembered. Even if they're weird things. "Oh yes, my body repairs itself quickly. My tail was back to normal in an hour or two. Could have been faster, but I was burning energy helping him with meal prep."

Sir Pentious

They are Very Weird things but Sir Pentious is just that kind of guy. He's looking over at Alastor like do not try to Catch my Wife's Booty with Your Gaze, Sir.

Alastor

"An hour or two! With magic, I trust?" If it had been by devouring enough food to rebuild the missing flesh, she wouldn't have been worried about meal prep. Anything raw would do. It takes him a moment to notice Sir Pentious's Look. It takes him another moment to figure out what it's for. He decides to play dumb, props his elbow on the table and his chin in his hand, and leans toward Sir Pentious. "Listen to me, jabbering away with the lady and ignoring the gentleman completely! My apologies!"

Valera

"Magic! Plus the energy reserves in my.." She gestures at her chest. "..Body fat." FINALLY their food arrives. Or as much of it as the waiters dare try to fit on the table. Drinks, dinner, and the cannibalistic conversation conveniently avoided around any human ears.

Sir Pentious

Penny's

looking at Alastor. About to say something when their food arrives! Finally. That's... A LOT, DEAR SATAN.

Alastor

Oh. Oh that really is a lot. What consequences hath his careless words wrought. For a moment he stares in horror at the covered table. Then he says chipperly, "Well, like I said! Feel free to taste anything you want!" He's gonna go for... ooh, what's first... how about the lobster.

Valera

So much for a low profile. She looks over the table... Then to the cart the waiters have parked near the table with the rest of their food. Then to Alastor, eyebrows raising as she whistles. "Goodness, my dear fellow. We'll have to use poor Pentious as a tray to get these leftovers out the door." She reaches over to pluck Pentious' gumbo out of the chaos and put it in front of him, then tries to puzzle out her own meal. Steaks, steaks, everywhere... Ah, there were two filet mignons, one of those must be hers. Come to mama, beautiful.

Sir Pentious

"MOST CERTAINLY NOT!" Do not stack food on him, he would hate it!!! But he looks over at Alastor with a squint as he begins tucking a handkerchief into his collar, like a bib. "YOUR STOMACH IS GOING TO BE DISTENDED BY THE TIME THIS IS OVER, ALASTOR."

Alastor

Alastor tugs at the front of his coat to test its give. "Not much room for that. Good thing I plan on taking most of it home!" The lobster passes muster. Time to try something else. Where's that rabbit? "Tell me what you think of the gumbo—I'm wary of it anywhere outside Louisiana, I want to know what to brace myself for."

Valera

She's going to stack food on him. She's going to stack SO much food on him. Or she'll just make the staff conveniently ignore the fact that their doggy bags are suddenly gone to some pocket dimension. But threatening to turn Pentious into a cart is funnier. "Mmrph." Sorry, her mouth is full of approximately half her meal.

Sir Pentious

NOOOOOO Oh. He looks over his gumbo, stirring the pieces of chicken and veggies around with a spoon... like a particularly thick stew. It smells good, anyway... some of the meat doesn't appear to be as squishy as he wants, so he shoves them aside, instead looking at the veggies. Big Fussy. "ARE YOU GOING TO ATTEMPT TO HAVE SOME OF MINE? YOU ARE NOT TO PUT YOUR SPOON IN MY SOUP!" Rabbit's a bit left of Pentious' gumbo. He's looking at Valera, "....QUITE A LADY! HAHA!"

Alastor

"I ordered my own, thank you." The fact that Sir Pentious is already pushing aside bits of food is a dangerous sign, but Alastor will reserve judgment until he sees him actually taste it. Oh, there it is. He snags his next dish, glances at Valera, and laughs. "I take it the filet mignon meets your approval!"

Valera

She gets her meal, she starts eating, and now! She's the center of attention! She swallows with a bit of struggle, clears her throat, and picks up her napkin to daintily dab her mouth clean. She's got manners, sometimes. Deep inhale.. "It's good! Though I'd prefer it rarer next time." And now SHE can stare at Pentious. Try your gumbo, Penny. The audience is waiting.

Sir Pentious

Oh no they are both looking at him. He hates this. Time to go on a face journey while filling his spoon up with broth. He brings the reddish brownish liquid to his lips, flicking his tongue against it. Yes. He is human. But he has spent the last one hundred and thirty two year as a snake. Leave him alone. Okay... the taste isn't atrocious. Sir Pentious sips it up, smacking his lips a little. Beer tasting tik tok. Aaaaaaand he finally speaks, "YOU KNOW, IT ISN'T BAD. THE BROTH ANYWAY, I COULD GET BEHIND. THOUGH I AM NOT YET CERTAIN ABOUT THE VEGETABLES OR THE MEAT."

Alastor

"Do you prefer your meat raw, by chance?" No judgment, it's a fine culinary choice. Look at Sir Pentious. Going about it like a connoisseur. A connoisseur who sticks his tongue into spoons before sipping. Alastor can tell exactlywhat he's doing, which makes it even funnier to see with a human tongue. "Sounds like a recommendation to me!" Now for that rabbit.

Valera

The spell is broken, the table can breathe a collective sigh of relief. Pentious can enjoy at least ONE thing at the table. Crisis averted! Val can return to her meal, taking much more respectable portions of steak now that she knows she's APPARENTLY got an audience watching. They wave for a second old fashioned, and tuck in. There, much better. Civilized fish.

Sir Pentious

Very civilized. Maybe Sir Pentious just likes watching you eat food, Valera. HE'S NOT WEIRD, YOU'RE WEIRD.He's going to try the vegetables now... They're much softer inside the brother, and they kind of melt in a buttery fashion. Hmm... Not bad. The chicken is next... It looks tough, and he's not excited about it. Scooping the meat into a spoon, he brings it to his mouth and bites down on the spoon. .... A frown... And he unbites, putting the chicken piece back into the bowl. "NO. NOT A FAN."

Alastor

From the corner of his eye, Alastor is watching Sir Pentious's slow analysis with fascination. Oh, he's going to be a challenge for Alastor to cook for, isn't he? Good—no one else ever holds Alastor to any standards, he's going to have to actually improve his work. His face falls as much as it can when Sir Pentious... spits out? a bit of chicken. Alastor tisks. "We should have known better than to trust gumbo in New York."

Valera

"Hang on, I can fix this." Without missing a beat, Valera reaches over the table with their fork, rapid fire skewering a few pieces of chicken to steal away from Pentious. Down the hatch, and look. Nobody has to deal with them anymore! Isn't she generous.

Sir Pentious

............................ He wonders how that must have looked to literally anyone else.

[

11:41 AM

]

AND THEN HE PUTS HIS ARM AROUND HIS BOWL, AND LOOKS SO OFFENDED.

Alastor

"Well, if you don't like the gumbo..." He gestures around at the table. And the cart. "There's a couple of sandwiches on the cart if you want to try those." He got the sandwiches for Sir Pentious, because Sir Pentious eats sandwiches. He really did order this feast with the intent to share it with the table.

Valera

Val's completely focused on their own meal, smug as can be. Mm, yes, the mushrooms are so soft and lovely, mmm. Pairs so nicely with this steak. Better eat a little faster before anyone gets any funny ideas.

Sir Pentious

Oh sandwiches. He does like sandwiches... generally. Sir Pentious lifts his nose, looking over at the cart before he gestures, "I WILL TAKE A SANDWICH." And he is going to eat vegetables and this broth, because it is tasty, even if the chicken was TERRIBLE!

Alastor

"Have at it!" There should be some kind of meat sandwich, he forgets which one he finally ordered, and a jelly and cream cheese one he ordered mainly out of morbid curiosity. Okay, he's tried the rabbit, time to switch out the plate for his own filet mignon, Valera's making him jealous. "You know, I've been so distracted by this feast here, I've hardly glanced at the stage! After we came all this way to hear the music." He's gonna. Try to focus on that.

Valera

He's done with the rabbit? Perfect timing, Val's just about done with her own meal, and Alastor DID say she was free to sample. A few slices of lagomorph shouldn't be missed. Music? Right, yeah. Music. She'll worry about that when her stomach is done threatening to start dissolving.

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious smirks, "WELL WHAT WOULD YOU EXPECT? IT IS NOT AS THOUGH WE NORMALLY HAVE ACCESS TO FOOD FRESHLY PREPARED IN THE LIVING WORLD." He's going to take a bite of this meat sandwich... That's a happy Penny. He's going to delight in this soft bread.

Alastor

"True!" He pauses a moment to listen. Hmm. "If anything, I think the music in Hell is better. More time to practice, I suppose! Better music, worse food—not a trade off I would have expected, would you?" He's finally gonna try that filet mignon—oh, good God, this must be what they serve in Heaven.

Valera

She snickers into her food, moving on to the lobster now. She can't comment on the workings of hell, but she can appreciate a good meal on her own dime. Let the boys have their talk.

Sir Pentious

"I WAS THINKING SIMILARLY, ALTHOUGH, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE THIS PROBLEM IF WE WERE ATTENDING A FULL ORCHESTRA SHOW. TOUGH LUCK, ALASTOR." He grins, "STILL, IT ISN'T BAD. I FIND THE RAW, SOMEWHAT FLAWED STYLE OF PLAYING RATHER CHARMING. REMINDS YOU THEY ARE ONLY HUMAN, NYA HA!"

Alastor

Give him a moment. Give him a moment, he's gotta bask in the meat. Oh, that's superb. He makes a mental note to ask Valera to leave an exorbitant tip. "I think an orchestra that's been playing together for over a century, give or take a few exterminated cellists, is going to be able to show a thing or two to an orchestra whose members have only been playing their instruments for a few decades!" He glances at the stage. "But—you're right. Jazz is at its best when it's raw. Maybe we damned fools have gotten a little too refined in our playing."

Valera

Valera is picking away at the meals, humming idly but mostly ignoring the two.

Sir Pentious

IGNORING....

Sir Pentious sips more of the broth, then finishes off a sandwich before pouring himself some tea. "TOO TRUE. WE'VE GROWN ACCUSTOMED TO OUR UNLIVES. WHO COULD BLAME US? THE DEAD SHOULD NOT USUALLY RISE AGAIN."

Alastor

"And if they do rise, I'm given to understand the living expect we'd start eating their brains! Ha!" He pauses thoughtfully. "Actually, brain doesn't taste bad. Although it's got nothing on the filet mignon."

Valera

She waves the waiter over to take her empty plates and cups, then props her chin up on her hands. The music is nice. She'll just close her eyes for a second and listen..

Sir Pentious

Hopefully the waiter didn't hear that. Penny snickers, and sips the tea. Actually not bad. And then he's looking at Valera. ... He smiles, wide. She isn't looking at him, so he gets to admire them!

Alastor

Oh, Sir Pentious is distracted. They're both distracted. Alastor swallows down the urge to constantly be making sound so as not to distract them from their distraction. He'll watch the show and switch to trying his own bowl of gumbo. If it sucks, he can cleanse his palate with more of his steak.

Valera

It takes SEVERAL seconds before Valera realizes the two have fallen silent, brows furrowing before she cracks an eye open to make sure they aren't moments away from going for each other's throats. Does she need to step in? No, Alastor's eating, and Pentious is.. Watching her, it seems. She smiles and gives him a little wink, then blows a kiss. "Hey handsome."

Sir Pentious

Color reaches his cheeks, and he can't help the grin, avoiding eye contact now... One hand reaches for hers, and he squeezes it. Listening to decently played Jazz Music, sitting with his good friend, and the love of his unlife. And more food than they knew what to do with. Pentious feels.... Good.

Alastor

The gumbo isn't bad. It isn't great gumbo, but it's an okay soup. Maybe he should ask if Sir Pe—oh, he's having a moment. They're both having a moment, the two of them. Alastor will keep suppressing the urge to speak. BOY THAT SURE IS A BAND UP ON STAGE THAT ALASTOR IS LOOKING AT. RIGHT NOW. WITH HIS EYES.

Valera

Try not to break your neck, radio demon! Pentious' hand is squeezed back, and Val scoots her chair a bit closer with the excuse of messing with the blanket draped across his legs with her free hand. If she doesn't move away afterwards, well. She's just being cautious. What if it falls? "Enjoying yourselves, boys?"

Sir Pentious

C: He is very smiley. Sir Pentious turns around to look at Alastor, and then he closes his eyes, raising a declamatory finger. "ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, YES! I RATHER ENJOYED THIS EXCURSION."

Alastor

Oh thank god they're talking again. "Why, a show, a signature, another show, a feast fit for a king, and such fine company besides—I'm enjoying myself enormously! And will continue to do so for another few days at least!" Yeah he's hardly made a dent in the food. He's gonna have hella leftovers. If they're talking again he can ask the question he's been holding back. He leans toward Sir Pentious and elbows an edge on his wheelchair. "I'll trade you the vegetables out of my gumbo if you trade me the chicken out of yours." If the veggies were all of it that met Sir Pentious's tastes, Alastor was at least going to make sure he got a full serving of it.

Valera

"Glad to hear it, my dears! We'll have to arrange a second excursion at some point. Penny needs more broadway, and poor Alastor needs regular access to Earth food. Speaking of, how is that okra plant doing? Should I arrange for a replacement sometime soon, my fine fellow?" She snorts, eyeing the leftovers scattered around them. This had to be a week's worth of food for a single deer, right? Surely! But it's a fine compromise he offers. Hopefully Pentious wont be overly stubborn about it.

Sir Pentious

In terms of deals that Alastor could be offering him, this was by far the mildest compromise. Sir Pentious looks at him with his usual big eyes, raising a brow.... "OH THAT'S RIGHT, THE VEGETABLES THING. YES, GO AHEAD, ALASTOR." He slides his bowl over. Whatever remains of the chicken within!

Alastor

Vegetables thing? Did his duplicate have a vegetables thing? Well, whatever—he scoops out what's left of his veggies (farewell, dear okra) and claims the chicken. Speaking of dear okra—"The plant's doing marvelously so far!" So far. "I found a spot for it and that bell pepper plant I won under a nice sunny window in that ship embedded in the hotel, you know the one."

Valera

She DOES know the one, in fact. Even if she doesn't know how a boat wound up not only in hell, but somehow being used as part of the architecture for what seemed to be one of Lucifer's estates turned rehab facility? Hell was a STRANGE place. A puzzle for another day. Maybe Charlie would know. "Ah! Wonderful! Okra is such a hardy plant, if anything could survive in Hell it would be that little beastie. Maybe I'll bring you some other plant next time I visit? Sounds like you need some fresh tomatoes and you'll be set for a fine side."

Sir Pentious

Once the swap is finished, Sir Pentious slides his own bowl back towards himself and returns to eating. AH, this was MUCH better. He didn't eat all that much and seemed to be used to that fact. Hard to be overwhelmingly hungry when you already knew your texture issues would make it difficult to actually eat something. But he's smiling away as he consumes the veggie gumbo. He didn't think he'd like it, but the added flavor of the now removed chicken did good things for this.

Alastor

"You'd be surprised. It's harder than you'd think to find fresh okra in Hell! Probably some local blight that wipes them out, that would be the kind of thing Hell does." But tomatoes... it's easy enough to get jarred tomato sauce and canned tomato paste in Hell—albeit at exorbitant prices—but when was the last time he'd had simple, plain, fresh tomatoes? "Let's see if I've got a green thumb or two hidden under these gloves"—he wiggles his fingers—"before subjecting another poor plant to my tender mercies—but if the okra lasts long enough to give me a crop, tomatoes would be a fine addition to my little garden!"

Valera

She snorts, sudden visions of Alastor in overalls over his suit, wearing a straw hat with holes for his antlers invading her mind. Ah, and he would fertilize his bountiful crops with the corpses of his victims, and put a hoe head on his mic's staff. Behold his new show, Farm Talk Radio.. May the gods have mercy on her for these evil thoughts. AHEM. Back to reality, no farmer deer here, just a man with wiggly hands who hasn't managed to kill an Okra plant yet. "Of course! Now, do either of you want dessert, or should I flag down the waiter for our bill?"

Sir Pentious

"DESSERT? SHOULD YOU OFFER HIM MORE FOOD?" Pentious scoffed, still working on his soup. Dipp.... The sandwich.... IN THE SOUP. What a rebel. OH it's delicious.

Alastor

"He has a point. If I get any more plates, I'm going to have to start holding them in my lap!" He considers the offer anyway. The problem with ordering dessert is that, generally, you only get dessert foods. Anyway, he was pretty full. Surprise surprise. "I think I'm taken care of!"

Valera

"Alright, thank you Alastor." Valera raises a very pointed eyebrow at Pentious. Answer for yourself, fool. But he hadn't said yes, so she'll wave down the waiter.. and watch them put the bill in front of Pentious. Right, this is the sixties. She's just going to take that and pay, thanks.

Sir Pentious

He fucking gave it the STINK EYE like No fuckin waY. Still finishing off his soup... "I SUPPOSE AFTER THIS WE HEAD BACK?"

Alastor

Sir Pentious is over here reinventing the au jus sandwich, it's a wonder he registered the dessert question at all. "Tip them very well." Does Alastor want to see what the bill is? Probably not. "We could! Or you could put up with me while I drag you halfway around Manhattan seeing what's still standing! But you'd probably want to re-kill me by the end of that." He looks around, do they have doggy bags? Or is he going to have to slide this food into a pocket dimension as they are, plates and all? He wouldn't mind stealing the plates, but...

Valera

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe we'll have to make another day trip closer to your own time, Alastor! That sounds fun." Valera hums, looks at the food, looks at the pathetic little waxed paper bags covered in pictures of dogs the waiter gave her.. Then reaches into her purse and pulls out extremely not period accurate takeout boxes that CERTAINLY didn't fit in there to hand off to Alastor. "Here, dear. Don't worry, they won't see anything."

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious is just like. Looking, but mostly after he's done his soup (finally) he sits back and cleans up his face, pulling the handkerchief out and setting it down on the table. "HA HA HA HA!!! OH, WHAT AN ENJOYABLE LITTLE TRIP THIS HAS BEEN!"

Alastor

His own time. He isn't sure if he even wants that. A question for later. He takes the boxes and starts loading one up. "Is that a reassurance, or are you planning on creating a distraction across the room? Because if you weren't, I was ready to ignite something on the table by the stage." He beams at Sir Pentious. "We must do this again! And sooner rather than later!"

Valera

"I don't need to make a distraction, I just suggested to the population of this establishment that they care more about their own business at the current moment. The guests are enjoying their meals, and the waitstaff don't need to come tidy up here for another ten or so minutes." Valera raises an eyebrow at Alastor, slides her gaze from him to Pentious and back again, and smirks. "Perhaps next time we'll have to visit a museum, those are always good fun. I'd be interested in seeing one of the exhibits on Pentious for myself, and I'm sure at least one of you would be over the moon as well."

Sir Pentious

Pentious glances over at Valera, and his smile falters somewhat. Thinking about it... Would he be featured in a Museum? Of course, he must be in some history books, but... Why hadn't he heard so much about it when he was in Hell? Was it just because he mostly met a lot of Americans? "ER, YES. QUITE! I WOULD LIKE TO SEE SOMETHING LIKE THAT--THOUGH I IMAGINE THEY WOULD ATTEMPT TO PSYCHO-ANALYIZE ME OR SOMETHING. IT WOULD BE EMBARRASSING WATCHING THEM ATTEMPT TO CRACK MY GENIUS MIND!"

Alastor

“Oh, we can go laugh at everything they got wrong, then! You can look at the artifacts and we’ll read the plaques for you and tell you which ones are the most wrong.” Sir Pentious’s lack of enthusiasm has been noted; but Alastor’s too excited by the prospect of the trip to focus on that at the moment. He wants to see a Sir Pentious museum display and by god, he’s gonna. “It sounds like a spectacular trip! And I’ve been dying to find out how your history differs from my local version of you!”

Valera

"It's one thing to know the man himself, but quite another to see how the world at large remembers their villains." She reaches over to take Pentious' hand, giving it a squeeze. It's alright. "I did cheat a little, I'll admit. I've been to this reality at least once before, so I did some research to find the museums that had the BEST exhibits dedicated to my beau. I've already got one picked out for the three of us, schedules permitting."

Sir Pentious

He looks up at her, eyes wide. There are a great number of thoughts buzzing around in his head. Why didn't you tell me? being one of them, but... Would he want to be told? It was hard even for himself to predict his own reaction sometimes. Still, the fact that there are exhibits dedicated to him..... Sir Pentious turns back round, settling in his wheelchair and adjusting his blanket. "VERY GOOD THEN! WE WILL MAKE IT A TRIP. I WILL MAKE A POINT OF POINTING OUT ANY AND ALL INACCURACIES."

Alastor

“Who could ask for a better tour guide!” That’s the last of the leftovers loaded into boxes. Alastor glances around to make sure everyone still seems to be paying them no attention, then quietly opens up a neat little square-shaped portal on the table and drops the boxes through. “Depending on what’s in the museum, maybe we could steal back some of your possessions. You know, if there happens to be anything you want to retrieve.”

Valera

"Is it really stealing if they're going back to their rightful owner? I would think not!" The conveniences of demon magic are not to be underestimated. Food no longer crowding the table and plates stacked for the busboys, Valera stands, reaches into her purse, hesitates a moment, then drops a pair of twenty dollar bills on the table. Is that a generous enough tip? She has no idea. But it's more than twenty percent and that's what matters. Probably. Hopefully. Alastor will probably say something if it isn't. Maybe. Gods help her.

Sir Pentious

TWENTY DOLLARS---oh right, Penny is from the late 19th century. He clears his throat. Sometimes he forgets that money is ridiculous in one hundred years. Though he does chuckle, "NOW YOU ARE A TRUE NOBLEMAN, VALERA. YOU HANDLE YOUR MONEY LIKE YOU'VE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH IT!"

Alastor

“I would think not either! I doubt the museum will see it that way, but that’s their problem, isn’t it?” TWENTY DOLLARS—oh right, the money is imaginary and capitalism is made up. They’re going to be making some waiter’s night.

Valera

She looks at Pentious, glancing at the money on the table before clearing her throat and striking a dramatic pose, complete with fluttering lashes and her hands clasped together under her chin. "Money is like manure. It's not worth a thing unless it's spread around, encouraging young things to grow." Nice save.

Sir Pentious

Ohhh, he sees what you did there. Clap, clap, clap. "FROM THE GOODNESS OF YOUR HEARTS? NYA HA HA!"

Alastor

Alastor cracks up. It was a good reference! Applause from him too. “I did say we should tip generously!”

Valera

Oh thank the gods, they bought it. She takes a bow, then props her hands on her hips and squints down at the table in thought. Food was sorted, tip was sorted.. That was everything, right? A nod, and she retrieves her compact and begins reapplying her lipstick. She can't walk out of here looking like she ate or anything, goodness. "You did indeed, my dear fellow. Are you both ready to go, then?"

Sir Pentious

"YES, LET US BE OFF. I SHOULD LIKE TO RETURN TO MY TRUE FORM--IT IS A PAIN TO NOT BE ABLE TO MOVE AS EFFICIENTLY ON MY OWN. I SHOULD DESIGN A BETTER CHAIR FOR THE FUTURE ENDEAVORS."

Alastor

“And I’m missing my studio audience and sound effects department. The world’s entirely too quiet!” He says in the middle of a jazz performance. Quiet is relative. (It really is too quiet, though. For a moment, in the subway, he even lost the signals from New York’s radio stations. He’d forgotten the inside of his head could ever be so silent—and he can’t stand it.) Alastor gets to his feet, ready to go. “Let’s!”

Valera

Wonderful. Another tick off the checklist, then. Valera hops up, takes one last look around the club, and goes around to take the handles of Pentious' chair. "That sounds like a fantastic idea, love. If we really do plan on this being a regular occurrence, you're going to need a lot more freedom of movement." And with that, she pushes him towards the exit. It'll be a small matter to transport them back to her room as they walk through the doors, as seamless an exit as could be asked for.

#hissandvinegar #autokrates #chat log

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katrinawritesthings · 6 years ago

Text

Taemin/Kibum; Kissie; PG

when you’ve always wanted ur special romantic first kiss

“You know how,” Kibum starts, “you don’t really like kissing?”

“Mmhmm,” Taemin hums.

Kibum has been anxious for a while, but Taemin only feels like he should say something when he starts tapping his foot quickly on the arm of the couch in addition to both nibbling on Taemin’s thumbnail and tugging on all of the little hairs of his wrist. Eventually if he keeps this up he’s going to bite tiny little sores into his cheeks next. Taemin looks away from the tv during a commercial and pokes Kibum’s cheek in his lap with his other hand.

“Hey,” he says quietly. “What’re you so anxious about?” he asks.

Kibum stops all of his little motions at once; he blinks up at Taemin with wide eyes.

“How could you tell?” he asks. Taemin blinks at him. He can’t tell if he was being serious or not, so he decides to answer anyway.

“You’ve bitten off, like, my whole thumbnail, for one,” he says. He wiggles his nubby thumb slightly and it brushes against Kibum’s bottom lip. Kibum blinks again, looks at his thumb, scrunches his lips, and immediately shakes his head in disgust.

“Ew, oh my god, what the fuck, ew,” he says, spitting out little chewed up bits of nail onto the carpet with quick little thps of his tongue. “Why am I like this, god. Ew.” He wipes his lips and then frowns up at Taemin. “Next time don’t let me do that,” he pouts. Taemin snorts, amused, but taps his finger against Kibum’s cheek lightly as an okay. Maybe he’ll buy Kibum a chewy toy later.

“What were you anxious about this time, though?” he asks again. That’s important and he can’t forget it. Unless Kibum wants him to, in which case, he will. Kibum hesitates, fingers squishing his bottom lip, before he sighs and flops his arms out over his head.

“You know how,” he starts, “you don’t really like kissing?”

“Mmhmm,” Taemin hums. It’s weird and squishy and gets spit feel on him and the mushy smekkie noises are worse than eating noises in his ears. Kibum worries his top lip between his teeth, looking up at him but not saying anything, before Taemin frees his lip with gentle pokes. Then Kibum licks his lips and sighs again.

“I was thinking, like. I’ve always been really soft and gay about, like, my first kiss. Because I always wanted it to be, like, you know, perfect and romantic and warm and with the person I love the mostiest.” He flops his hand against Taemin’s chest as he says that last part, which Taemin takes to mean it’s him that Kibum loves the mostiest. Which makes sense, considering they’ve been together for, like, twelve years. He feels like something would be wrong if he wasn’t Kibum’s mostiest loved.

“And this whole time I’ve been, you know, fine and everything with not smooching you, like. It’s really not that big of a deal, I’m not that wild about kissing either, but. I don’t know.” He shrugs and plays with Taemin’s shirt collar. “I was wondering, if, maybe. You’d maybe kiss me? Just once?” He smiles hopefully as his fingers tap against Taemin’s collarbone. “It doesn’t even have to be a deep kiss, just, like.” He makes the tiniest smoochie noise to the air. “A little mwah,” he says. “It’s okay if you don’t wanna, I just. Figured I’d ask.” He shrugs again.

“Oh,” Taemin says. For all of the anxiety building up inside of his babe he’d figured it would’ve been something much bigger than that. As it is, he quirks his lips into a smile and squishes both of Kibum’s cheeks with one hand so his lips pucker. “Yeah, sure,” he says. He’ll give Kibum a little smoochie if it’ll make him feel warm and fuzzy and gay on the inside.

“What, really?” Kibum asks. Taemin smiles a little wider, amused.

“Yeah, that’s why I said yeah,” he says. “I don’t hate kissing, it’s just. Real gross. But I’ll give you a little peck so I can be your handsome and charming and romantic and incredible and perf--”

“Oh my god. Stop before I decide I don’t want a first kiss ever in my life,” Kibum says, but half of it comes out on breathy laughter. He lifts his hand to hover his hand over Taemin’s mouth to threaten silence, then slips it warmly around the back of his neck and into his hair. “Can we?” he asks, rubbing his thumb softly up and down. “Like, now?” he asks. “Real quick?”

“Oh, now?” Taemin asks. That’s a little sudden. “I was gonna say, like. If we’re staging it why don’t we go to the beach and kiss during the sunset or whatever? That’s romantic, right?” He wouldn’t call himself traditionally romantic but he still loves reading his trashy romance novels and beaches show up surprisingly often in them. Kibum gasps softly, his eyes looking at Taemin but seeing passed him, seeing some dramatically romantic scene that’s probably way more extra than Taemin was thinking of. After a moment he blinks clear and smiles wide.

“I knew I loved you for a reason,” he grins, moving both hands to squish Taemin’s face and jiggle his head a little bit. Taemin smiles back, proud.

#taekey #taemin #kibum #fluff #pg #drabble #key #they make plans and go to the beach and have some fancy cheap wine and giggle and nuzzle and kissie during the sunset #and kibum takes a selfie obv #and does his Softest uwus bc hes had his first kissie nd it was so good #and taem does his softest uwus bc his kibummie is So Cute #kibum: oh my god dont call me ur kibummie thats so soft ur gonna make me melt #taem: : )))))))) only ever calls him my kibummie from then on #ydw

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clevercatchphrase · 6 years ago

Text

You Monster Chpt 33

(Full story found on my ao3 under the same username. I’m no longer linking chapters because tumblr won’t show them in the search results otherwise!)

Mettaton’s parts are heavier than they look. You aren’t surprised. After all, they did pack a pretty hefty punch every time he hit you, but trying to carry all four of his limbs is nearly impossible. Beside you, Alphys is having similar troubles, trying to get his body off the ground. All the while, the robot still hasn’t decided to enter sleep mode, instead insisting he provide words of encouragement.

“You’re doing excellent, darling! Remember, lift with your knees, not your back! Atta girl!”

“This is taking forever,” Alphys groans wiping her brow. “I’m gonna call for back up.”

Pulling out her phone, Alphys taps away on the keys as she writes out a text message. A moment later and her phone chimes with a response.

“Okay, Undyne, Sans and Papyrus are on their way to help move him. They’ll meet us in the MTT resort, so we just gotta make it that far.”

You push onward, carrying Mettaton’s arms draped over your shoulders and one leg under each of your arms. The going is slow, and the limbs drag on the ground and constantly trip you up as you get into the elevator and down the corridor back towards Alphys’ lab.

You’re greeted with screams of excitement when you open the door to the hotel lobby. The room is packed with monsters holding posters and t-shirts with your and Mettaton’s images plastered to them. News reporters with cameras and mics are asking for interviews and pictures.

Overwhelmed, you and Alphys clump together as the paparazzi surround you. Nervously, you smile and wave as cameras flash.

“Ah! There are the photographers!” Mettaton says, and begins cycling between faces of teasing winks and flirty kissing lips as his picture is taken. “I was wondering when they’d show up! Smile for the camera, darling! You’re a super star now!”

People crowd closer and ask for autographs while the reporters beg for exclusive interviews. You’re just about to get overwhelmed when I voice you didn’t think you’d ever find yourself missing shouts over the crowds.

“NYAGH! OUTTA THE WAY, PUNKS! VIP ROYAL GUARD COMING THROUGH!”

“And future royal guard also coming through!” A more nasally voice echoes.

“And also a sentry, if you want my two sents,” a third voice drawls at the end.

Reluctantly, the masses part as Undyne muscles a pathway through to them with Papyrus and Sans in tow.

“Guys! You made it!” Alphys beams.

“You called for backup?” the warrior asks. While she’s no longer in her iron uniform, Undyne is no less intimidating when she flashes that toothy grin at the both of you.

“Y-yeah!” Alphys blushes. “W-we need to get back to my lab pronto before Mettaton’s batteries completely drain. C-can you help?”

“Can I?” Undyne tucks Mettaton’s body under one arm and Alphys under the other. “Papyrus! Grab the kid and let’s blow this popsicle stand!”

You pass Papyrus Mettaton’s legs, which were definitely the heavier pair of limbs, but no less cumbersome than his noodle arms which still threatened to tangle up your legs. Beside you Sans watches with passive amusement.

“Do you want to give us a hand, Sans?” suggests Papyrus with irritation when he catches his brother just standing on the sidelines.

“Good job, bro” Sans claps lazily. “I’m really proud of you for giving a leg up.”

“Ugh! Never mind!” Papyrus groans.

“We’re ready, Undyne!” you announce. “Lead the way!”

“In that case, hang on tight, ‘cause we’re outta here! NYAGH!” Undyne bursts forth, leaving it up to the monsters to decide if they want to get out of the way or not as she charges through the lobby. The royal guard explodes out the front door, leaving you and Papyrus to do your best to keep up. The public scream in delight at your flashy exit and surge after you like a tidal wave.

“SANS!” Papyrus shouts, glancing back. “This is no time for antics! Keep up, brother!”

“It’s too late for me, bro. I’m a goner.” Sans says nonchalantly as he surfs the crowd, being passed around by monsters like a beach ball. “Save yourself. I’ll meet up with you again back at the lab.”

With Undyne waiting for no one, you’re forced to abandon Sans to the whims of the crowd and dash out of the hotel. The streets of Hotland are only a little less crowded as you make a break to the elevators. Along the way, monsters begin to point and whisper and cheer as your party scampers past and a few very overzealous fans begin to give chase.

“Crud, how are we gonna lose them?” Undyne asks when she sees the pursuers.

“I know! Head to the west elevator!” you say. “Go through the spider parlor!”

A wicked gleam flashes in Undyne’s eye as she follows your train of thought. She takes a sharp right, away from the hotel and into the narrow tunnel.

“Muffet! Are you here?” you call out when you reach the main foyer of the spider parlor.

“Back again so soon, dearie?” Muffet says as she crawls down the walls. “I just saw your performance on TV. Beautiful dance, mon ami! I’ll have to show a few of those moves to my spiders!”

“Yeah, the dance off was… certainly something!” you tell her. “But now we really need to get Mettaton back to the lab, and we’re being chased by rabid fans! Do you think you can slow them down for us and sell them a few of your backed goods?”

Muffet’s eyes crinkle with mischief. “Oooh, mon ami, that sounds delightful! Okay, girls!” she claps her three pairs of hands. “We’ve got a lot of customers headed our way! Let’s make this place spic and span so they never want to leave! Break out your oven mits!”

“Thanks, Muffet!” you shout as you jog on your way. Muffet merrily giggles and waves you farewell.

You reach the west elevator with no trouble and make it to the ground floor without any hiccups. The doors part and you’re greeted with clear streets, and at last you relax.

The sight of Sans reading a newspaper and leaning against the wall of Alphys’ lab meets you when you approach the building.

“Sans?” you speak up, looking back in confusion. “What- How did you get here before us?”

Sans shrugs. “Eh, I took a short cut. But that’s not important. Check this out, Kiddo. You’re in the newspaper.”

Sans turns the sheet over to show you the front page. Right smack dab in the center is a picture of you and Mettaton dancing together on stage. The editor captured a brilliant shot just when you and Mettaton both struck a pose while fireworks were exploding behind you.

“Wow, they work fast.”

“Eh, there’s never really much to report on down here, so the journalists ain’t exactly busy.”

From under Undyne’s arm, Mettaton squeals with joy.

“Oh darling! We made the front page! We’re headlining! This is the highest point of my career to date!”

“Hey, Sans! No fair!” Papyrus stomps. “I want a newspaper with a picture of my cool friend and favorite robot on the front to commemorate this moment too!”

“No problem, bro. Take mine,” Sans says, handing the newsprint to his brother.

Now it’s Papayrus’ turn to squeal like a school girl. He unceremoniously drops Mettaton’s legs and swipes the newspaper from his brother’s hand. “This is the greatest day of my life! My cool best friend is friends with a famous super star, which means I’m friends with a famous superstar by vicarious extension!”

He turns to you, hope in his eye sockets.

“Hey, pal? Mettaton? Do you think you could both autograph this for me?”

“Of course, darling! Bring it here!”

“Uh, sure. Anyone got a pen?”

Borrowing a pen from Alphys, you put your signature above your head, and then pass it to Mettaton, before remembering his current state.

“Er, do you need help holding the pen?”

“No need! Bring the newspaper close to my beautiful face.”

You do as instructed. Mettaton sucks his lips in, then puckers them out and smooches the space next to his image.

“Mwah! There we are!” He says craning his head back, and you pull the paper away to find a silvery blue lipstick mark.

Papyrus shrieks with joy when you hand him back the newspaper.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” Papyrus says squeezing you in a hug so tight that your lungs threaten to collapse, before letting you pass out. He twirls around and raises the newspaper high above his head to admire it.

“Hang on to that autograph, darling, because it’s the only one of its kind. I’ll be worth a fortune one day!” Mettaton winks.

“As if I’d ever sell this!” Papyrus scoffs. “This picture here commemorates the exact moment when my super cool best friend and super cool robot idol made their break out performance and went from rivals to allies! This is the greatest gift anyone has ever given me! I’ll cherish it for as long as I live!”

You realize, too late, to warn Papyrus to knock on wood for such overconfidence, but either the universe like a cruel joke,

“Arf! Arf!”

Or fate does not like to be tempted,

“Arf! Arf!”

Or maybe a certain little someone had an ear for hubris and just loved to wreak chaos wherever he went.

“ARF ARF ARF!”

Three quick barks are all the warning he gives as he darts through your legs. From out of nowhere, the small white dog leaps from the crowd and snatches the newspaper from Papyrus’ raised hands.

At first no one says anything- too dumbfounded by the sheer fact this tiny toy mutt cleared a vertical leap ten times his height.

The annoying dog does a graceful half turn in the air and lands with masterful precision, back into his signature play bow, facing the flabbergasted group.

There’s a tense moment as he stares you down with that devilish canine grin of his. And maybe the wind had blown the fur on his face the wrong way for a second, or maybe a cinder got in his eye, or maybe, just maybe the dog knowingly-

and intentionally-

winked at you.

“GET! HIM!” Papyrus explodes and tears after the pooch.

Apparently not understanding Papyrus’ rage, the dog wags his tail harder as the screaming skeleton runs up to him to play. Bursting with overstimulation, he races off, running circles around the other monsters, faking lefts and rights to trip Papyrus up and even running back through the skeleton’s legs. Yelling in borderline mania, Papyrus closes in on the dog, coils his legs beneath him, makes a desperate lunge with outstreched hands- and falls just short of grabbing the pooch, spilling to the ground.

The dog stops, play-growling and panting simultaneously so that it sounded suspiciously like huffing laughter, before skipping off in the direction of Waterfall.

“Noooo!” Papyrus wails, face down in the dirt. “I can’t! He’s won! This is the last straw!”

“Never fret, darling!” Mettaton says. “It’s not the end of the world!”

“Yeah, Papyarus,” You console him. “It’s gonna be okay.”

“No you don’t understand!” Papyrus pounds on the earth, throwing a tantrum on the floor. “That dog is always stealing MY things! MY action figures! MY cellphone! MY special attacks! NEVER anyone else’s! He intentionally went after MY newspaper! There are dozens being circulated right now, but he had to have that one because it was MINE! And knowing him, he’s probably running off to line is crate with it!”

“Darling! Don’t worry!” Mettaton assures. “We can get you another newspaper and I can autograph it again!”

Papyrus is silent for a long minute as he laments to the soil. “Fine,” he sighs at last when he regains his composure. “Though it won’t be as great as the original. This one just won’t have the same sentimental value, but I guess it would still suffice as a memento...”

Picking up Mettaton’s limbs once again, your group finally makes it inside Alphys’ lab where she guides you and the others to her upper balcony to deposit his pieces.

“Hup! There you go!” Undyne huffs as she slips Mettaton back into his docking station.

“Oh yes!” the robot sighs once plugged in. “That feels miles better already. Thank you, darlings.”

“Th-thanks for your help, Undyne,” Alphys stutters. You place Mettaton’s arms on the table while Papyrus drops off the legs. Is it your imagination, or is there a rosy hue on Alphys’ face? It could just be due to exertion from lifting Mettaton’s heavy parts, but the dreamy adoration shining in the royals scientist’s eyes as she watches Undyne stretch makes you think otherwise.

“Heh! Anything for you Alphys!” Undyne beams, her smile wider than you’ve ever seen. You blink, suddenly remembering the last conversation you had with the royal guard and Kid before you parted ways, and the teasing you heard from Bratty and Catty. Silently, you study the two out of the corner of your eye, noting the way they shyly brush hands and awkwardly fidget, and a realization hits you like a ton of bricks.

“You like her don’t you?” you ask the scientist when Undyne moves a ways off.

Alphys jumps. "W-what?! Wh-who told you!?”

“No one. I figured it out for myself just now. And, well, I guess it was pretty obvious when you said Undyne’s name to Bratty and Catty, too, but I didn’t make the connection then.”

“W-w-well d-d-don’t go telling anyone! Especially Undyne! Just the thought of her laughing at me makes me nauseated.”

“Laugh at you? Why do you think she’d do that?”

“Look at me!” Alphys throws her hands in the air. “I’m already a huge science nerd! She’d never want to be with a geek like me! All my statistics say so!”

“Says who?”

“Says ever media trope and dating simulator ever! When has the jock EVER hooked up with the nerd? It’s statistically impossible! Just… just keep it to yourself, will you? Please?”

Reluctantly you nod, and Alphys seems satisfied. You keep your eyes trained on her as she moves closer to Mettaton to back up his coding, then you uncross your fingers from behind your back.

You tiptoe around Alphys and Undyne and head back down stairs where Papyrus and Sans chat.

“Papyrus, I have a problem and I need your help,” you tell him.

“Fear not, friend! For I, the Great Papyrus, shall find a solution! Now tell me of this trouble!”

“It’s Alphys and Undyne. I think they’re friend zoning each other.”

“I… I am afraid I don’t follow,” Papyrus admits. “Alphys and Undyne have always been great friends! Why is being in the friend zone an issue?”

“Because they both want to be in the date zone but neither will tell the other, and they don’t know how the other feels about them.”

Papyrus gasps as if horror struck. “I see! Yes, this is a very serious problem indeed!”

“I need your help to get one to admit to the other how they feel. Then they’d both be happy.”

“Noble plan!” Papyrus says, giving you a fist bump. “And I have the perfect idea to get them together! Let me run home and get a plate of my spaghetti and meatballs. Sans, can you play the accordion?”

“No, but I can play the trombone.”

“Close enough!”

“Um, how is any of that supposed to get Undyne and Alphys to confess their feelings for each other?” you ask.

“Don’t worry! I saw this in a movie with dogs once! The lovely couple share spaghetti and end up kissing! Viola! Instant relationship!”

“Um, I was more or less thing something along the lines of forging a note from one of them to give to the other, and I was wondering if you could help me write it, since neither of them seems brave enough to do it themselves.”

“Also a brilliant idea!” Papyrus claps, and begins searching Alphys’ desk for blank paper. “We may have the best luck if we impersonate Alphys. Undyne’s writing style is a bit too flowery to imitate, with all her pink poetry and what not.”

“Purple prose,” Sans corrects.

“That too!” Papyrus smiles, placing a wad of paper and pencils between the three of you. “Okay! How do we flatter a fish?”

“Run over it a second time,” Sans quips.

“SANS!” Papyrus interjects while you barely contain your giggles. “…That was, admittedly, a really good joke, but slightly inappropriate for our current situation! But I like your enthusiasm! Keep it up, brother! We will woo Undyne yet!”

Grabbing a pen and paper, you begin jotting down as many cheesy pickup lines and science puns as you can think of.

It’s barely twenty minutes later when Undyne decides to take her leave, much to your dismay. You and Papyrus have only written one draft of your love note, but it will have to do.

“Well, I guess I’d better be going, then.” Undyne says as she moves towards the exit. “See you around sometime, Alphys?”

“Uh, s-sure Undyne!” Alphys fidgets, like she’s dying to say something else, but can’t find the words. “O-our usual anime night?”

“Sounds like a plan!” Undyne says, but you can tell it’s forced, like she want to say more as well, but can’t find the nerve. “See ya on your rounds tomorrow, Papyrus. Sans.” She nods at them. “And I guess… good luck with Asgore, kid.”

Undyne leaves through the front door and Alphys sighs. “W-well, I guess I’d better get started on reattaching Mettaton’s legs…” with a defeated exhale, she heads back upstairs.

Once you’re alone with the skeletons, you give them a nod. They nod in return and pass you the note. You flash thumbs up and run out the front door to catch up with Undyne.

“Undyne! Wait!” You shout as she makes her way to the ferry, waving the note above your head. “Alphys forgot to give you this before you left! She said it was very important and that you had to read it right away!”

You hand Undyne the letter and she opens it without hesitation. Her eye scans the page, creased with seriousness before her brow raises in surprise. She blinks a couple times and rereads it again, slower this time as she absorbs the words.

“Wow… I can’t believe this…” She says looking at you. Your spirits rise with hope. “I can’t believe… you’d thought I’d actually fall for this crap!”

And just like that, you’re hopes are crushed. Panicked, you try to back away, but Undyne presses closer to you, jabbing you in the chest with one finger. “What’s the big deal, punk?! Everyone knows Alphys’ handwriting is worse than chicken scratch! She’d never write this legibly, and not to mention in PAPYRUS FONT! Why under the earth are you trying to impersonate her and send me fake love letters?”

“Because she won’t do it herself!” you huff. “She’s crushing just as hard on you as you are on her, but she doesn’t have the nerve to tell you!”

"Wait, who told you I have a crush on her!?” Undyne demands, recoiling in horror.

“Oh, come on, it’s clearly obvious to any monsters with eyes that you two like each other,” you snort, crossing your arms in indignation.

“Wait…so what you’re saying is that Alphys… feels the same way about me?”

“Yeah, but she thinks if she tells you, you’ll turn her down or worse, that you’ll laugh at her. She already thinks you just put up with her weird interests to be a good friend.”

“That’s ludicrous! I’d NEVER laugh at her for what she’s passionate about! It’s what I love about her the most!” Undyne grips your shoulder as if ready to shake some sense into you.

“Then why don’t you tell HER that?” you retort.

The pupil in Undyne’s eye dilates, as if seeing clearly for the first time.

“You’re… you’re right! I DO have to tell her! And now that I know she shares the same feelings as I do, I don’t have to worry about her turning ME down!”

Without warning, Undyne grabs you by the arms and lifts you off the ground.

“C’mon I gotta tell her I know and I feel the same way! I gotta tell her everything!”

Undyne tucks you under one arm like a football and takes off at mach speed. If feels like you only blink once before you’re back at the lab, where Undyne drops you to pry open the doors when they don’t open fast enough.

“ALPHYS!” Undyne shouts, standing proudly in the door way, dramatically back lit from Hotland’s glow. “I have something very important to tell you! A confession, if you will!”

“U-Undyne??” Alphys jumps from her computer chair. “Y-y-you’re back! I-I-I wasn’t expecting you to come back so soon! I-Is something wrong?”

“Yes! Alphys, I am afraid I’m sick.”

“You are? Well, quick, come sit over here and I can give you a diagnostic-“

“-SICK OF KEEPING MY FEELINGS TOWARDS YOU A SECRET!”

Alphys pales and you don’t blame her. You thought Undyne was going to be gentler about this. You didn’t expect Undyne’s confession to be so… abrasive. Undyne sounded more like she was about to command you to do a hundred pushups instead of confess her crush. She storms over and lifts Alphys up until they’re eye level.

“Alphys! Ever since the day I met you in the dump, I saw the dedication in your eyes! The passion you had for the work you did, and the things that inspired you! That fervor! That zeal! Your ability to accomplish anything you put your mind to! It’s infectious!”

“U-Undyne, I never knew you felt that way about me!”

“Alphys, it’s your dedication to your goals that inspires me! It’s what I love most about you!”

“Y-you do?”

“Yes! And I would be greatly honored if you gave me the privilege to be that partner to help you achieve those goals!”

“I-I-I… y-yes! Yes, Undyne!” Alphys cries out in delight, wiping away tears of joy. “I-I would love nothing more!”

“My, this certainly seems cause for celebration!” Mettaton says from the upper level, having overheard the conversation below. “This day has been just full of dramatic revelations, hasn’t it? All in favor of a little festivity?”

“I would, but I really should be going now,” you say. Your work here is done, and you’ve still got a king to meet.

“Darling, you can’t leave just yet!” Mettaton insists. “You must stick around for the after party where we’ll do Q and As and talk to the press, strike up some brand deals, and then following that is the after-after party where we’ll shoot the behind the scenes 'Making Of' special, and then there’s the after-after-after party where you can only get in if you know someone who knows someone-”

“And d-don’t forget,” Alphys says from within Undyne’s embrace. “There are still throngs of people out there in the streets. I-It’d be impossible to get back to the MTT resort without being mobbed by your new fans looking for an autograph… H-how about you wait it out here for a while?”

“Yeah, punk!” Undyne adds. “Alphys and I can finally show you what anime is!”

“Oh! And we can finally have that sleep over! For real this time!” says Papyrus.

“Just… one more night, Kid?” Sans asks, clasping a boney hand on your shoulder. “What do you say?”

With four faces looking at you expectantly, it physically hurts to think about disappointing them.

“Alright,” you fold, smiling in good nature. “I guess one more night won’t hurt.”

The impromptu party is thrown together with remarkable speed. Papyrus and Sans are quick to arrange a table full of snacks while Alphys and Undyne queue up at least five movies to watch on her big screen monitor. The first movie on the list is one about dinosaurs trying to find a new home, then it’s followed by a movie about the trials of a baby deer, and after that is a movie about lions in Africa, and after that is another movie about dinosaurs trying to find a new home, except this time the dinosaurs are CGI, and to wrap things up is, finally, an anime about a wolf and a goat. It was a great pain Alphys had to go through not to find anime with humans in it, but she succeeded in the end.

It takes a while for the party to settle, for the thrill to die down and the atmosphere to shift from alert, high energy to a relaxed air where one could just enjoy another’s company. The human hangs around the sidelines around the time the first movie ends, waiting for when either of the two newly announced daters needed a break to catch Alphys alone, and finally manages it when she gets up to refill her popcorn.

“Hey Alphys?” The human says carefully, not wanting to draw too much attention to themselves while Undyne laughed at some anecdote Papyrus retold.

“W-what’s up?” The scientist asks.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” they fiddle with the sleeves of their sweater, clearly nervous. “I’ve been meaning to say this earlier, but I never found the chance with Mettaton constantly getting in the way and all, but… thank you.”

“Th… thank you?” Alphys stammers, completely taken off guard. “For what?”

“For everything,” the human says. “For helping me solve the puzzles, to helping me escape Mettaton, and everything in between.”

“What, that?” Alphys smiles weakly. “Th-that was nothing. I didn’t do anything important. You did all the hard work.”

“But you did!” The human says firmly. “Maybe you don’t believe what you did was that significant, but for the first time since I left Snowdin, I feel like you’re the only one who actually tried to HELP me get home. Everyone else just tried to get in my way to slow me down, but I feel like you made an honest effort to get me through Hotland. I can’t thank you enough for that.”

They smile at her, and Alphys forces a smile back, but she can’t hold it.

They’re… thanking her? But… she HAD tried to slow them down. Honest? But she had lied worst out of any of them.

“S-sure thing,” she says quietly.

“And when I see the king tomorrow it will be all thanks to you.” And the next thing she knows, they’re hugging her, tight and safe and trusting, and she can’t take it. Oh, no. Alphys didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve to get the girl of her dreams, she didn’t deserve to be the hero, she didn’t deserve their praise. Not when she's deceived them. Not when she's kept secrets from them- from everyone- worse than anyone could imagine! And when they smile at her, genuine and true, it’s the last straw. The last drop of guilt that makes the dam crack and break, and her outward reputation built on a foundation of lies starts to crumble.

“N… no…” Alphys says grimly, pushing them away. “You shouldn’t.”

“Oh, sorry,” the human apologizes, thinking they’ve invaded her personal space. “I didn’t mean to-“

“No, not that.” Alphys says, gripping her upper arms. “You… you shouldn’t be thanking me. I’m… I’m no better than anyone else you’ve met. In fact, I’m probably the worst of them all.”

“What?” the human laughs nervously, probably wondering if this is some elaborate self-deprecating joke. “Of course you are!”

“No, you don’t understand!” Alphys sniffs, raising her voice, and other heads turn her way. “I’m probably the least honest monster you’ve met so far! I-I’ve been lying to you from the very beginning!”

“Alphys…” Sans says in a cautious tone.

“Lying about what?” The human asks, worried.

“About everything! I-I-I was working with Mettaton the whole time!” The scientist sobs. “Y-y-you were never in any real danger up until the hotel. All those traps he caught us in were set up. I knew how to get out of them from the very beginning.”

“What… what do you mean?” The human takes one step forward towards her, and she takes three steps back, determined to keep distance between them. Her friends nervously get to their feet, worry clearly on their face, but unsure about moving forward if it would only push her away.

“Alphys?” Undyne says cautiously from the other side of the couch.

“A-a-and I’ve lied about helping you! I was trying to slow you down just as much as everyone else! In fact, all this time I was really studying you, because-!”

Across the room, Alphys’ phone blares an alarm. All the monsters in the room jump at the sudden noise, being as tense as a loaded bow string.

“It’s six o’clock,” Alphys gasps, hands flying to her muzzle. “Oh no, I forgot to give them dinner!”

“Alphys…?” the kid speaks up nervously, clearly distressed about the sudden outbreak. “Are you okay?”

Alphys looks at them sadly, and then to her friends who all wear pleading, desperate expressions.

“No, I’m not,” the lizard monster says sadly, inching towards the “restroom” along the north wall. “M-my lies go deeper than anyone realizes. I didn’t just deceive you; I deceived everyone in the Underground and I can’t take it anymore. I’ve got to… take care of something now, and whatever happens next, please don’t follow me.”

The “restroom” door parts and Alphys backs into it. The door slides back down before anyone has a chance to react.

“Alphys!” Everyone leaps for the door, scrambling over and around furniture and work benches, but none get to it in time. Undyne bangs on the metal panel so hard that it starts to dent, but still they don’t give.

“DAMNIT! Why won’t the door open?”

There’s a soft ding, and a faint light shows up on the restroom sign to the right of the door. It’s then that you notice that the restroom label is slightly crooked and… peeling?

Curious, you reach for the corner of the label, betting on a hunch, and tear it away to reveal a panel with two letters and a row of colored dots between them.

“G and B…” You read out loud. The letter ‘B’ is currently illuminated.

“Hey, this isn’t a bathroom!” Papyrus says. “It’s… an elevator?”

“But where does it go?”

As soon as the question is asked, the lights of the sign begin to shift, tracing backwards from B to the G. It chimes a pleasant note when it reaches the ground level once more and opens its doors expectantly.

“Down, apparently,” Sans notes. “Should we go after her?”

“Well DUH, dummy!” Undyne says, stepping in without a second thought. “You heard how upset Alphys was! We gotta make sure she’s okay!”

“Agreed!” Papyrus seconds the notion. “Alphys is our friend! We should be there for her if she needs us!”

Everyone piles into the elevator. There are no buttons on the inside. Instead, the doors automatically close and the lift descends, lowering far too slow for anyone’s comfort. All four occupants are tense and antsy as they try not to bump into anyone else in the tight space. Everyone keeps their eyes straight forward, anticipating the second the doors reopen.

At last the elevator rumbles to a steady halt and the door slides open. The group stumbles out of the lift, into a dimly lit hallway that echoes with bad vibes that instantly give everyone second thoughts about coming down here. A wave of cold, musty air hits your face as you step forward into the dim, murky hallway. Motion sensor monitors blink awake as you pass. You only pick up snippets as you try to keep up with the group, but you think they mention something about research on fallen monsters, human souls, and flowers.

“What is this place?” Papyrus asks, marching down the hallway.

“It’s like… some sort of sublayer of Alphys’ lab,” Undyne says, pointing to the blueprints on the wall and the shelves of beakers and vials. “Sans, you used to work with Alphys, right? Have you ever seen this before?”

“No, I haven’t,” Sans says mystified. “My main area of research was the CORE. To be honest, I never really saw how Alphys’ “research station” on the ground floor was considered a good set up for soul research, but this… THIS is a true lab.”

An ominous warning feeling prickles at the back of your neck in trepidation. You avert your eyes and keep your head low as you pick up the pace. The corridor opens into a lobby, complete with fake ficuses, fold up chairs and a vending machine. Across the other side of the room is another gaping doorway leading into darkness. The four members of the party stare at it. In the silence, scraping noises could be heard in the distance.

“I don’t like the looks of this,” Sans says.

“Well, there can’t possibly be anything… bad… down here,” You point out. “I-It’s just dark. We know Alphys is down here, so there can’t be anything dangerous nearby… right?”

“Yeah! We can’t wimp out now! It’s just Alphys!” Undyne says. “C’mon! Let’s find her!” And with that, Undyne forges ahead into darkness.

The hallway immediately turns right as it guides you past rows of locked offices, the names on each door long since peeled off or have been scratched out by some resentful claws. At the end of the hall is a door labeled “Dormitory”, and it’s slightly ajar. Is it your ears playing tricks on you, or do you hear breathing coming from the room beyond it?

“Looks like she went this way.” Undyne says, grabbing the doorknob and pushing it open. The hinges whimper only a little, as if frightened they’ll be punished if they make too much noise. A strange mist curls at your ankles, curiously poking at your footwear.

The four of you enter. It takes a while for your eyes to adjust. In the gloom, Undyne’s eye has dilated until her black pupil almost obscure her yellow sclera. San’s eye lights seem to have grown as well, but only cast about as much light as a glow stick in the dark.

When you can finally distinguish shapes in the low light, you discover the room is filled with medical cots, arranged in perfect columns and rows. Along the far wall, you spy more hallways branching off into the unknown. The four of you fan out, standing shoulder to shoulder. You take a step forward and your foot kicks a bowl. Bits of dry dog food scatter on the floor. You can’t shake the feeling you’re being watched.

“This place is huge,” Sans whistles as you creep along the northern wall. Your party turns north into the first branching hallway you find, but before long the corridor splits again at a T intersection. Hesitantly, you all look down each fork as far as you can see. “Should we split up to look for Alphys?”

“You dolt!” Undyne scolds him, flicking him on the top of the skull with her thumb and index finger. “Haven’t you ever watched a scary movie in your life? You NEVER split up from the group! There’s safety in numbers!”

“Yes, but we could cover more ground, Undyne!” Papyrus points out.

“Yeah, not to mention the whole “arguing about not splitting up thing” is becoming a trope in of itself,” Sans adds.

“It’s way too dark to see safely down here,” you add, siding with Undyne. “This place could be a labyrinth. We could get lost.”

“Yeah, but if we split up, one of us might get hurt, or something worse, and no one would be able to help!”

“We could travel in pairs!” Papyrus suggests.

“If we all stick together we could just as easily all get lost at once compared to if we split up,” Sans notes. “Mathematically speaking, spreading out is more beneficial to our cause. After all, it’s just us and Alphys down here, right?”

The question is rhetorical, but no one makes a noise of agreement. Everyone’s eyes shift side to side in uncertainty.

It’s just you and Alphys down here. And maybe if you say it enough times, you’ll start to believe it.

“R-right. Pairs it is, then. Papyrus, you and your brother start searching the west corridor. Me and the kid will head east.”

There’s a silent nod of agreement as your group splits into pairs. Turning right, you take one last look as the skeleton brothers’ head west before following Undyne into the pitch black hallway east. The air seems to drop in temperature the further you go.

“Alphys!” you call out into the darkness, your voice reverberating off the walls. “Please come out! We just want to talk with you!”

“SShhhh, punk!” Undyne hisses. “You gotta be quiet!”

“Why?” You ask. “Aren’t we the only ones down here?”

“Well, yeah! I mean, I think. Ugh! I don’t know anymore! The longer we’re down here, the more I feel like we’re not alone…”

“But we can’t be quiet if we’re trying to find her! How else will she know we’re here?”

Undyne can’t seem to find a response to that, and instead marches on.

Side by side you tiptoe down the hallway. Half way down, you unconsciously reach up and take the warrior’s scaly hand for comfort. You don’t even notice what you’ve done until Undyne is squeezing your hand back for her own reassurance. You hold her tight, not wanting to lose her in the low visibility.

The path you’ve chosen ends in a dead end room packed floor to ceiling with cooling fans on two of the three walls, quietly emitting an ever-present hum. At the far end of the room is a switch.

“Light switches?” you say optimistically.

“A light switch? All the way down here in this dead end hallway on the other side of the room?” Undyne says skeptically.

“Hey, you never know,” you argue and go up and flip it.

The monotonous thrum of the fans dies down instead as their blades still, leaving the room more deathly silent than before.

“Tch,” Undyne clicks her tongue as she studies the ceiling. “Well, it was worth a shot, I guess.”

“Yeah, I guess this means we can go back the other way and meet up with the guys now, huh?”

A low rumble sounds behind you.

“What was that?” you say quickly.

“Maybe it was just one of the fans who didn’t get the memo about turning off?”

The grumble from across the room turns into a growl. The two of you spin around on your heels to catch an amorphous form emerging from the darkness.

There’s… a creature lurching towards you from across the room, but it doesn’t look or behave like any monster you’ve met so far. Its body is stark white and dripping like melting snow. An ever-changing, uncountable number of limbs protrude from his body, sprouting and retracting back into its mass, a self-contained shadow, darker than darkness is collected under its legs with glowing eyes peering at you from between its shifting limbs. The bulk of it tapers off into one lump you dare call a head, but instead of a face, there is just a circle of blackness with no texture or shape to hint its depth, just a pure space of void that is aimed right at you. The creature is huge, bigger than you and Undyne combined.

And it’s blocking the only exit.

“St-stay back!” Undyne shouts, throwing her arm in front of you like a shield. You are not sure if the statement was directed at you or the creature. She summons a spear to look threatening. “What are you, and did you do anything to Doctor Alphys, you freak?!”

The thing in front of you seems confused as well. Its many legs jerk and spasm as it clamors toward you to inspect you closer.

“I’m warning you!” Undyne yells, pointing her quivering spear in its general direction. “T-take another step and you’ll get to know this spear up close and personal!”

The beast makes a snuffling sound, the void on its head constricting with each huff of air. Two protrusions on its head perk up as it begins to erratically inch closer.

“H-hey! Didn’t you hear me, freak? By order of the Royal Guard, stand down! I’m giving you to the count of three to back off or I. Will. Fire!”

Undyne lifts her spear high and stands at the ready. In the same moment the beast in front of you crouches as if ready to pounce. Its whole body quivers violently.

“One…!”

You narrow your eyes. Why is there something so familiar in the way that it’s poised? The tilt of its head, how its hindquarters are up in the air…

“Two!”

The wag of… its… tail- oh god you know what this is.

“Thr-!” “Undyne! Don’t hurt it!” you tackle the guard in a panic, barreling into her waist just as she looses her spear. The weapon goes flying far off target to the left, and the creature immediately spins around and lunges after it.

“Punk, what the hell???” Undyne screams at you. “That thing was about to attack us!”

“No, it’s not,” you say as you get up on your shaking knees. “I-it’s a dog, Undyne. It’s just a dog.” Your voice won’t stop trembling.

“A dog!? Brat, I work with dogs, and I can tell you that thing ISN’T a dog!”

“B-but it is! Watch,” you blow a shrill whistle, then turn your attention to the room’s exit, and just as you figured, the white mass comes charging back. It skitters to a halt, its head turning to each of you, not sure who summoned it. You step forward to catch his attention.

“H-hey boy,” you coo, patting your knees with all the bravery you can muster.

“Sh-show Undyne here that you’re just another old pooch. Come here!”

The amalgamate’s body goes ridged at the command, before its ears fold back and it leaps forward, It lets out an ecstatic ear-piercing shriek as it knocks you flat, its tail wagging so fast it’s just a blur. It rubs its face all over your sweater, coating your shirt in dog hair and a cold aqueous gel you’d rather not think about.

Behind you, Undyne screams and grabs the collar of your shirt to yank you out of harm’s way.

“Brat, are you trying to get yourself killed?!” Undyne says, holding you two feet off the ground.

“No, look! He’s calming down!” You fight back. “Really! Try petting him!”

“I’m not going anywhere NEAR that thing and neither are you! What if this hell spawn ate Alphys?”

The culmination of canines whines as if struck and cowers, placating.

“It’s okay boy, or… girl, or whatever you are. You’re not in trouble. You’re a good dog.”

Seeking affection, the amalgamate crawls closer and stretches out its neck to meet your out reaching hand. You ruffle the fur on the top of its head and the monster’s body shakes with joy.

Half way through your pet, the monster pulls back and begins to heave, and its whole body spasming as it hacks something up from what you only hope is its stomach.

With a violent cough, Undyne’s blue spear falls out of the hole in its face and onto the floor, coated in slobber.

The three of you stare at it for a second, and then the amalgamate puffs up its chest proudly.

“Ha ha, see? It is a dog,” you tell Undyne. “It brought your spear back for you.”

“Well if it’s a dog then it should be able to find someone by scent!” Undyne says. Her shoulders un-tense at last, and she almost looks impressed at the monster. “Hey, mutt! Find doctor Alphys!”

The monster’s ears twitch at the name, but it doesn’t move.

“Go on! Sniff her out!” Undyne repeats.

The canine tilts its head.

Undyne rolls her eye. “You know; FETCH.”

The amalgamate leaps to its feet and does a one-eighty so fast that its claws skit on the tile, making it cartoonishly run in place for a second. The creature lets out a bark so deep, you feel it in your bones. When at last it finds traction, the amalgamate tears off, its rear end fishtailing and crashing into the wall of fans as it lunges for the door way.

“Guess we’d better follow it,” you say. “It’s as good a lead as any.”

You catch up to the amalgamate in the hallway. Its face is so low to the ground its almost touching it as it snorts at the floor, head swiveling back and forth as it searches for the scent. Its face traces over one spot before it slingshots back, and studies it intently. After a tense moment of sniffing, its head comes up and it brays, loud and deafening when it finds a trail and takes off towards it.

If the halls weren’t so narrow, you don’t know if you’d have been able to keep up with the amalgamate. Its feet constantly scramble to keep it up right, as if not acquainted with having so many legs. Sometimes the amalgamate doesn’t even stay on the floor, instead choosing to crawl along the walls and ceiling as it snakes through the tunnel.

Making a hard right, the canine amalgamate leads you through the showers and into a room lined floor to ceiling with shelves of video tapes, where it proceeds to spend several minutes sniffing the shelves.

“She must’ve been here recently,” you note, eyeing the strange VHSs and old TV in the middle of the room.

“Well, she isn’t here now,” Undyne says, before the amalgamate takes off once more. “Come on! We can’t lose it!”

Ahead the amalgamate makes a sharp left, skirting a pit so deep, you can’t see the bottom of it. The amalgamate disappears down another hall, only to have screams answer a second later.

“Sans and Papyrus!” you gasp. “Quick, we gotta stop them before they hurt the dog!”

You race into the room as fast as you can. “Stop! Heel!” you preemptively shout, only to find a cage of blue bones trapping the amalgamate.

“Nobody move!” Undyne orders as she enters the room.

“No need to fear!” Papyrus says when he catches the sight of your confused faces. “I have detained the threat! We are uninjured and safe!”

“It’s not a threat, Papyrus. It’s a dog!” you explain.

“He won’t hurt you.” Undyne grunts. “Typical dog. Can’t stay focused if there’re bones nearby!”

The amalgamate twists around in circles. You can’t tell if it’s fascinated or confused by the blue bones, but then to everyone’s surprise, it hunkers down close and then the void on its face begins to expand. With a great intake of air, like the magnetic pull of a black hole, the amalgamate inhales one wall of bones into its orifice, completely unfazed.

“Well then!” Papyrus says only slightly perturbed. “I should have anticipated that bone attacks would have no effect on a dog monster!”

The amalgamate lets out another earth shaking bark before pouncing on Papyrus.

“Hey! Paws off the little brother!” Sans shouts, his eye flaring blue.

“Sans! No! It’s okay!” you scream. “It’s just a dog! It won’t hurt him!”

Beneath the pile of white sludge, papyrus shrieks a bone rattling cry. “Help! I’m being affectionately licked to my death!”

“A dog?” echoes Sans, eyeing the enormous conglomerate of canines. “If that’s true, what kind of dog, then?”

“Uhh, mixed breed?” you offer. In the distance, you think you hear a snicker and a shiver runs down your back. Blinking, you momentarily put the thought to the side but keep your eyes peeled. “It likes to be pet and knows how to fetch, at the very least. We were hoping it could help us find Alphys, but it looks like he caught the scent of you two instead.”

“Leave it to a dog to find a bunch of bones!” Undyne snorts. “You two having any better luck?”

“No sign of Alphys so far,” Sans reports. “It was really foggy in here and we couldn’t see anything for the life of us, but then it suddenly cleared up. Maybe a second look around wouldn’t hurt.”

“As much as I’d love to find Alphys,” Papyrus grumbles, affectionately stroking the canine monster, “I can’t get any searching done if I’m constantly being assaulted by over excited canines! Can we please get this guy out of the room?”

“Sorry, Paps. You know the rules.” Sans shrugs. “Once you pet a dog, the pact is sealed. He’s yours now.”

“But he’s impeding our search and rescue efforts!”

“How about we regroup?” Undyne suggests. “It seems pretty clear this mutt isn’t going anywhere without you, Papyrus so how about you and I take him back to the dormitory where he can stay out of the way, while Sans and the punk keep looking for Alphys?”

“UGH! Fine! I will be on dog-sitting duty!” Papyrus grumbles, wiggling his way out from beneath the amalgamate. He looks over his shoulder blades at you and Sans as he leaves the room with the canine in tow. “You two! Be quick about it! We don’t have all night to find Alphys!”

“No worries, bro,” Sans assures him. “We’re keeping our eye-sockets out for her.”

Undyne and Papyrus groan as they exit the room. But from somewhere behind you and Sans-

“Ha… ha…”

That uneasy shiver runs down your spine again. Sans must feel it too, for his eye lights shift from side to side as he tries to pin point the haunting laughter.

“Who’s there?” he flinches, looking sharply over his shoulder. In the very back of the room, you think you see a figure wince and withdraw into the shadows behind a row of refrigerators. Whatever is over there sure isn’t Alphys, but if it’s just as scared of you as you are of it, then it can’t be all that dangerous.

“Sans…” you say quietly. You point to the last fridge. Sans nods. “No sudden movement. Turn around… very… slowly.”

You creep over to the ice box and slowly peer around one of its sides while Sans does the same on the other. Huddled in a corner is another amalgamate, pale blue and white. Timidly it squawks when it realizes its cornered, shedding snowflakes from its ruffled feathers and forcing you to back away.

“Hey there,” Sans says softly to the creature. “Sorry if I spooked ya. I didn’t mean nothin’ by it. Mind coming out?”

“Who’s … there…? Who’s… there…?” The monster mimics Sans in a tired voice. “Knock… knock?”

“Is…. Is this a knock, knock joke?” Sans asks, beads of sweat forming on his brow. “’Cause I’m great at those, but it doesn’t’ really work if you tell ‘em backwards like that.”

“Maybe WE should try telling the knock, knock joke?” you suggest, inching closer to Sans. “It did laugh at your eye socket pun.”

“Worth a shot.” Sans shrugs. “Can’t do any harm, anyway. Knock, knock.”

There is a moment of silence before the monster pokes its head out from around the side of the fridge again, and you get a clear look at it for the first time. Its eyes are sagging and vacant. It’s got a beak and wings like a bird, and much like the canine amalgamate, it seems to melting, or, err, molting in this case. Parts of it seem more plant-like than feather like. A cold mist clouds around its beak when it exhales, and the general air around it is so cold…

“Who… is… there?” It asks curiously.

“Their snow.”

“Their… snow… who?”

“There’s snow door bell, so I have to knock!”

“Ha… ha… ha...” the melting monster chuckles, feathers and slush dripping from its amorphous body. “Sn… snowy…”

Clumsily, the amalgamate steps forward and you have to fight back a gasp of shock. In better lighting you can see the monster more clearly. It looks like some hybrid of the Snowdrake you met in Snowdin combined with the Vegetoids you know in the Ruins.

“Hey, I think it worked.” You say let’s try another.”

“No problem, kiddo,” Sans winks. “I can dish out jokes for days. Listen to this one- where does a snowman keep his money?”

“Where…?” The amalgamate asks.

“In a snowbank!”

“Ha… ha… Thank you…” the amalgamate laughs.

“Pardon us, but I didn’t realize you hybrid monsters could talk.” You ask quietly. “Who are you?”

“I… don’t… remember…” It says, ruffling its feathers. “Got… got lost… so… long ago…. Where…. Where did… they… go? I… need to… go home… want to… go home… Where is home?”

The more it talks, the more agitated the amalgamate becomes and the less definite its shape holds, like it’s losing itself.

“Hey! Hey! No worries,” Sans says comfortingly. “We can help ya. No need to fall apart on me.”

“Heh… heh…” the amalgamate smiles weakly. “I… remember… now.”

“You do?” You say hopefully. “What happened to you?”

“We… I… Missssess drake… me.” The monster says, trying to keep its words straight. “F… fallen… down… The doctor… said… she could… help…”

You stifle a gasp. Beside you Sans goes ridged.

“Mrs. Drake? Snowdrake’s mother?” you say nervously.

“Ah… little… Snowy… so funny…” she smiles fondly. “Just… like his… father.”

“Mr. Drake…” Sans says absently. He turns to you. “His comedy routine’s been in the pits since his wife fell down and his son ran away from home.”

“Did Alphys do this to you?” You ask sadly, looking at the depressing amalgamate.

“Al… phys… doctor…. Alphys said… stay determined… she… would… help…”

“My God…” Sans says. His eyes go dangerously dark. “I knew Alphys had wanted to run tests on monsters, but I didn’t think she’d do THIS to you.”

“Not… her… fault…” Mrs. Drake says. “Not… her… fault… no… one’s… fault… no… one… knew…”

The amalgamation begins to shiver again, becoming upset once more.

“It’s okay, Mrs. Drake,” You comfort her. “Do you know where Alphys is now?”

“Know?... No…” the amalgamate says.

“We’re gonna help you get home,” Sans promises. “Don’t worry, we won’t be mad at Alphys.”

“Let’s take her back to the dormitory with the others,” you say, lending her a hand. Mrs. Drake places a wing into it, and at once your hand goes numb as it’s enveloped in the strange gelatinous sludge.

“Might as well. This way is a dead end.” Sans notes, nodding at the room. “Alphys wasn’t down this direction. Was there more to explore where you found the pooch?”

“No, but I think there was another hallway that led out the dormitory. We can still go that way.”

You retrace your steps back to the main room with the beds, where you discover Undyne and Papyrus have shoved several cots together for the canine amalgamate to curl up on.

“Sssshhh!” Undyne hisses at you when you enter the room. “We just managed to get Endogeny to calm down, so don’t make any loud noises!”

“Endogeny?”

“Yeah!” Undyne says, pointing to the dog bowl you had kicked when you first came in the room. “That’s their name! Or at least, that’s what Papyrus and I assumed. They respond to anything you call them if you say it in a mushy voice. Isn’t that right, stupid face?” Undyne coos. Endogeny whines ecstatically.

“Wait, where is Papyrus?” Sans says, looking around the room and noticing a lack of brother to be found.

A lump beneath Endogeny’s fur begins to move and a gloved hand pops out between one of its many pairs of legs.

“Over here!” Papyrus says. “It seems Endogeny feels anxious when they do not have a chew toy to cuddle with, so I had to be a substitute.”

“Chew toy?” Sans asks in concern.

“Ah! Do not fret dear brother! I may have been the role of chew toy, but I was not in harm’s way, for Endogeny has no teeth! Or mouth! Or a face for that matter! So there was never any danger!”

“Never mind all that!” Undyne interrupts. “Did’ja find Alphys?”

“No, but we found someone else,” you and Sans step aside to let Mrs. Drake enter the room. “Oh God, another one?” Undyne says.

“It’s Snowdrake’s mom, Undyne,” you explain. “One of the monsters Alphys was trying to prevent from falling down. We think Alphys accidentally did this to them.”

“Wait, these guys are the monsters that Alphys TESTED on?” Undyne shutters. “Then that means… these dogs-“

“Were probably formal guard members.”

Undyne looks at Endogeny with new light. A look of sadness shadows her face. “What did Alphys do?” she whispers sadly.

“Not her fault… not her fault…” Mrs. Drake repeats, shaking. “The doctor… is good… she did not… mean to…”

“Hey, hey,” Sans says, patting the amalgamate’s back the best he can. He has to stop when his hand starts to meld into her form. “We aren’t mad. Just worried and concerned.”

“There’s still one more hallway we haven’t searched yet,” You point out. “Alphys could be down there.”

“I think I’m gonna have to stay here, bucko,” Sans says. “Mrs. Drake seems pretty shaken. I think I’ll keep her company and tell her a few more of my stellar jokes that are out of this world.”

The amalgamate chuckles and begins to grin.

“See? There’s the smile I’m looking for.”

“Okay, then. Undyne?”

“Don’t think I can, punk.” Undyne says. “Endogeny only stays relaxed if someone can maintain a constant petting environment with supplemental head scratches at a Mach Five speed, and if I don’t do it there’s no doubt in my mind Endogeny will go on another rampage that will surely kill hundreds via love tackle. D’you think you’ve got the endurance for that?”

“Uh… I don’t think so.”

“Ah! It looks like it is my turn to go exploring dimly lit corridors with y new best fried!” Papyrus says, squeezing out from under Endogeny’s legs. The amalgamate gives a small grunt of displeasure before rolling over for belly rubs. “Come on, friend! Let us succeed where other great monsters have failed and find the doctor! We shall return triumphant!”

“Okay. We’ll be back as fast as we can, guys!”

You exchange ‘good lucks’ and ‘farewells’ with Sans and Undyne, and take off down the east hall with Papyrus. It’s not long until the dormitory fades out of sight. Ahead of you, the hallway brightens a little, filling your heart with hope, but when you round the corner, you’re met with just another hallway. On the left side, the wall is lined with mirrors that trick your eyes into believe the corridor is actually bigger than it is. On the right side, a row of tables covered with flower pots growing under artificial lights borders the wall. Ah, so that’s why it seemed brighter.

Your heart skips a beat when you recognize the plants grown. They’re golden flowers. Why are there golden flowers way down here? Wait… If… if Alphys had created these amalgamations, then… was it possible she had created other things as well?

“Hey, do you hear that?” Papyrus whispers to you. You listen close and pick up the faintest sound of… a crinkling wrapper?

Stealthily inching forward, you and Papyrus edge the wall. It’s yet another monster, this time with a body of blue and green, with arms of brown and a head of deep purple. It hunches over something in front of you, its head nothing more than a giant mouth and a pair of eyes. Its body is slug-like with two muscular arms and no legs.

“It’s another amalgamate,” Papyrus says.

“Is… is it eating something?” you ask when you hear its jaws crunch and snap. You swallow hard. What if it’s eating- no. No, it couldn’t have. The other amalgamates you’ve met so far have bend nice and friendly, so why would this one be different? Besides, dust doesn’t crunch. “Should we approach it?”

“I think not! It would be rude to strike up a conversation with someone while they have their mouth full!”

You strategize with Papyrus on what to do, when a new noise distracts you from behind. It’s a tapping noise that echoes above you, and you turn around to find a lanky figure emerging from the overhead vents like viscus fluid.

It’s ANOTHER amalgamate, twice the height of you and Papyrus combined. Its body is a mottled color of red and orange, with two skinny legs, a pencil thin neck, a massive, pointy bill and razor sharp wings. It has one eye that makes up all of its face, and when it blinks you can’t help but notice its eyelids are lined with teeth. As soon as the amalgamate sees you, it lets out a blood curdling screech and charges forward.

“Papyrus! Duck!”

The skeleton snatches you up and covers you like a blast shield. “I think it looks more like a stork or a crane, but still definitely avian!” he says in a panic, as the monster rushes past.

The amalgamate doesn’t pay you any mind as it dashes past you and Papyrus, instead going straight for the other amalgamate in the room. The first amalgamate hisses in defiance at the newcomer’s approach, turning its back on the bird as it tries to protect the thing it had been snacking on.

With angry screeching that sounds like twenty different bird calls at once, the bird monster attacks the other with rapid-fire pecks from its beak and raking stomps from its claws. The big lipped monster screams in protest, grabbing the bird’s neck with its muscly arm in an effort to keep it at bay, but it’s no use against the bird’s sheer amount of reach. Flapping its razor wings in retaliation, the bird pecks at the slug-monsters eyes. The assaulted amalgamate shrieks in pain, and releases the bird to cover its face. The attacker, now freed, swoops its head low and snatches at the prize the injured amalgamate had been guarding.

“No, Reaper Bird!” it cries out, it’s voice many-layered like a chorus. “These are Lemon Bread’s! Get your own!”

Reaper Bird raises their head triumphantly, the prize held high out of Lemon Bread’s reach, safely in its serrated jaws. It’s then you can see clearly what they are fighting over.

“It’s… a bag of chips!” you say in disappointed annoyance. With a cry of outrage, Lemon Bread swipes at Reaper Bird’s legs with their thick tail, knocking the thieving amalgamate to the ground. The chips scatter across the floor and the skirmish starts anew.

“They’re fighting over junk food! You tell papyrus. “We have to break it up!”

“Hey! Be careful!” Papyrus warns you as you wiggle free of his grasp.

“Stop! Stop it you two!” You demand, pushing the monsters apart and holding your hands up between them. Reaper Bird screams something that sounds like ten different insults at once at you as it stomps it feet angrily, scratching up the title.

“Listen to them!” papyrus demands, stepping close to your side. “Look at yourselves! You two are clearly adults, yet you can’t even share? Did you learn nothing in Kindergarten?”

Reaper Bird says something that you can’t make out and snaps its beak.

“I’m… I’m sorry, could you run that by me again?” Papyrus says.

Reaper Bird screams and doubles over, contorting its jaw before shouting;

“We are starving!” “Supper is late!” “He took the last bag!”

“The doctor never came,” Lemon bread grumbles in its many toned voice. “Said she would bring dinner, but nobody came. Forgotten about us again. Forgotten forever.”

“That can’t possibly true!” Papyrus scoffs. “If you are a patient of Dr. Alphys, then she would never abandon you!”

“That’s what they all say.” Lemon bread hisses, narrowing their eyes at you.

“H-hey, what’s going on here!” A familiar stuttering voice demands. A wave of relief washes over you when you turn to find Alphys carrying a box full of canned goods “I’m f-f-five minutes late to give you dinner and you start going at each other’s throats? H-have some manners!”

Reaper Bird and Lemon Bread hang their heads apologetically.

“H-here,” Alphys says, passing them each a can of ravioli. “T-take turns using the microwave, a-and cover your bowls with a paper towel so it doesn’t splatter everywhere!” Alphys tells them as the two amalgamates excitedly rush off down the corridor. “A-and Reaper Bird, will you quit turning off all the lights? It’s bad for your eyes to stay in the dark!”

“Florescent lights hurt my eye!” “I am just one big eye!” “I have night vision!” it says all at once.

After they’ve vanished from sight Alphys turns towards you, but doesn’t look you in the eye.

“I’m so sorry you had to see that. That you had to see any of this,” she says quietly. “I-I guess you know the truth now, don’t you? About all the horrible things I’ve done to these monsters. I-it’s okay if you’re angry at me for hiding such terrible lies. I understand…”

“Alphys!” you and Papyrus say in unison as you rush forward to embrace her in a hug.

“Are you okay?”

“Are you hurt?”

“We thought we’d never find you or see you again!”

“We’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

“You… you have?” Alphys blinks confused. “I thought… I thought you’d be angry with me.”

“We’ll admit we’re a little upset, but we were more scared and concerned about you above anything else!” Papyrus says. “We were so worried!”

“Y-you were?”

“Of course! You’re our friend, Alphys!” you tell her matter-of-factly. “We all came down to look for you!”

“You were looking for me?” Alphys parrots, disbelieving. “Why?”

“Is there an echo down here?” You giggle. “We all came looking because we were worried, Alphys. We all care about you and didn’t want to see you get hurt.”

“That’s… That’s so kind of you,” Alphys sniffs. “I- I don’t deserve any of this. Y-you should have just left me here. I d-don’t deserve to be forgiven for what I’ve done!”

“Yes you do, Alphys!” you huff. “So stop putting yourself down like that! Sure, it looks like you’ve done some… questionable things, down here, but whatever you need to confess, we’ll still support you, no matter what, okay?”

“Yeah… yeah, you’re right,” the royal scientist perks up just a little bit and stands a little straighter. “Let’s go back to the main room. I still have to give Endogeny and Mrs. Drake their dinners, a-and I’ve got a lot I need to come clean about to you guys and… and to everyone.”

Alphys follows Papyrus and her lab partner back into the dormitory, albeit reluctantly. Sans, Undyne, Endogeny and Mrs. Drake meet her there. She braces for a bunch of raised voices and accusations and angry questions but instead she is only met with more worry and concern. When the anger she had been preparing herself for ultimately never comes, she finally has a break down.

“This… is what happened to your soul research?”

“Y-yeah,” Alphys sobs. “E-everyone seemed fine at first. I.-I w-was going t-to send them all ho-ome but then when they melted together and st-started to lose their identities, I-I couldn’t do it. A-all their fa-amlies would hate me and blame me, and they’re not wrong! I did this to them! The longer I kept putting off sending them home, the harder it became. Every day I got more angry phone calls, a-and I just ignored it like a c-coward until they eventually gave up and stopped calling.”

In the comfort of Undyne’s arms, surrounded by her closest friends and a dog ready to offer sympathy at a moment’s notice, Alphys recounts her tale, how she extracted determination from the king’s collection of human souls, to injecting monsters with concentrated doses of determination, to hiding them in the basement when the experiment had failed.

Her audience listens patiently, and while not once they ever raise their voice or scold her, Alphys can see the horror and frustration in their eyes at her words.

“Th-that’s why when you thanked me, I p-panicked,” Alphys says to the human. “You… you were the first person to not know of anything I’d done prior, and working together with you was fun! Helping you was fun! You g-genuinely liked me, and for a few moments, I didn’t feel like a disappointment anymore! I remembered what it felt like to be depended on by s-someone, but I knew in my soul that image of me in your mind was smoke and mirrors, and I didn’t deserve that praise. I… I originally liked to you because I wanted to study you, b-but by the end of the day I really did want to be your friend, but if I c-can’t even tell the truth, then how can I ever make a friendship work?”

“So it’s true, then?” The human says, distracted. “You wanted to study me? Mettaton said as much when we had the dance-off, but I thought he was just trying to get in my head.”

“Uh, y-y-yeah,” Alphys sweats. Beneath her, Undyne tenses, and she can feel Sans and Papyrus watching her nervously. “B-b-b-because, I, uh, you, aah…”

“Because I’m a Boss Monster, right?” The human fills in the blank. “My soul is a little stronger than average monsters, right? And you wanted to learn more about it? You couldn’t really do that to Asgore, since you work for him. You wanted to study it to help the other monsters?”

In that moment Alphys realizes she has a choice; to stick to the truth and come clean about EVERYTHING or take part in a lie she hadn’t even started. She realizes then, if she told them the truth, it would hurt them, and that she’d be taking down everyone else with her. All this time she had been lying and keeping secrets to protect herself. Was a lie still just as bad if it was to protect someone else?

“S… something like that,” Alphys says, neither lying flat out, nor telling the truth either. If the kid would offer her a way out, then she would take it. No need to complicate things further. She’d already come clean about most of her lies. The lies of others are a different matter.

“Alphys, I know how you feel, and I know what you’re going through,” The kid tells her. “Because I’m the exact same way. You feel like you’ve screwed up so horribly that there’s nothing you can do about it, that it’s all your fault and there’s no way you can be forgiven no matter how hard you try, but those thoughts are wrong, Alphys.” They glance at Sans. “Someone once told me as long as you own up to your mistakes and do your best to mend them, no one can fault you for bad intentions.”

“Y-y-you really think that?”

“Of course, dummy!” Undyne says, hugging her tight. “We got your back no matter what! As long as you honestly try your hardest to help those around you, we’ll be there to support you!”

Alphys whimpers and sheds a few tears of relief. “Th-thank you guys so much. I-I-I want to be a better person, I really do, and knowing you’ll forgive me for the mess I didn’t mean to cause really helps.”

Gently, Alphys pries Undyne’s arms off of her and gets to her feet. She lets out a sigh, and then stands up tall. “Now that I know you guys don’t blame me, I’m ready to tell the rest of the Underground what happened as well.” She waves the amalgamates to come close. “Come on, everyone. It’s time for me to take you all home.”

#Undertale #undertale fanfiction #fan fic #my writing #you monster #alphys #sans #papyrus #mettaton #endogeny #reaper bird #it's so cold #lemon bread

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