#giving the man lipgloss is so unfair

[aghostsdestiny]

Hi hello who told him he could do that with his moUTH-

[folkwhoredoll]

personal driver - rafe cameron x fem!reader

pairing: rafe cameron x fem!reader

synopsis: a boyfriend, a driver, or both?

word count: 0.5k

warnings/tags: some suggestive dialogues, mostly fluff :>

a/n: hi everyone! this is just a blurb for my first post on this blog :3 i hope you'll like this one. happy reading!

masterlist

ੈ✩‧₊˚

Rafe’s soft side is an impossibility to everyone but you. Despite everything he’s done, your boyfriend never once hurt you in any way. You were a precious art in his eyes, a balance to his chaotic personality. Rafe also takes pride in being the only person on the planet who knows how wild you can be. An innocent face with a mischievous soul, he says. And he likes it, a lot.

Tonight was your best friend’s birthday party and she specifically told everyone attending that it is a strictly girl-only event. So there you were in front of your vanity mirror, wrapped in a pale pink bodycon dress while smearing a second layer of lipgloss across your lips.

“You look pretty, baby.” You halted your movements, turning around to see Rafe standing at your bedroom door with his arms crossed, eyes shamelessly raking up and down your body.

“You think so?” you said as you flashed him a sweet smile. Your heart always flutters whenever he compliments you.

Rafe muttered a low mhm as he walked towards you, arms reaching forward to grab your waist and kiss you on the forehead. “You always look pretty.”

Your lips turned into a small pout before looking up at him. 

“And you look just about good enough to eat,” he said abruptly, a cheeky smile growing on his face.

You chuckled. “stop it. we need to leave anyways.” You quickly made your way to the edge of your bed to grab the gift bag and the small purse that you packed earlier.

“This is so unfair," he huffed playfully. “You’re just using me as your personal driver.”

“Well I told you I can just grab an Uber—“

“Absolutely not.”

“See! And now you’re complaining," you scolded him while giving him a knowing look. Not that Rafe’s overprotectiveness bothered you. You love it. Being in his presence is the only time when you can be completely carefree, knowing that he’s there to take care of you.

“Alright,” he sighed. “What would I do without you?”

“Oh, stop being dramatic," you laughed. “I’ll only be gone for a few hours, Rafe.”

“A few hours too long!” He rebutted, trailing behind you while you walked downstairs. Sometimes you wonder if this is truly the man that many claim to be dangerous.

“I’ll tell you what. we’ll do anything you like when I get home," you offered him, grabbing your heels from the shelf beside your front door.

Rafe’s eyes lit up at your words. “Anything?”

You immediately realized what went on in his head as soon as his playful smile turned into a smirk. You giggled.

“Yes, anything,” you said. “Now come on. I want to be the first one to give her a gift.”

Rafe didn’t hear any word that you said after that, his mind beginning to imagine what he was gonna do to you tonight. His smile never left his face even while locking the front door.

He raced to open the door to the passenger seat for you, whispering to your ear before shutting the door.

"You're in for a treat tonight, darling."

And with that promise, you can't help but wonder if the party is where you truly want to be.

[i-write-boop-spoops]

Steven Stone NSFW Alphabet

There is a criminal lack of Steven Stone NSFW content on this site, so to celebrate Pokemon Day, I’m gonna remedy this tragedy.

Also thanks to @champion-prism for convincing me to do this. Their Pokemon sword and shield stuff is phenomenal! You should totally check them out! 

 NSFW under the cut

A = Aftercare (what are they like after sex?) 

Steven is just very considerate after sex, cleans up, gets you some snacks and water, showers/bathes with you. Loves to cuddle afterwards and have light conversations with you.

B = Body part (what is their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner?) 

He likes his hands. They’re so skilled and careful, and honestly, very pretty. They’re very good at making you come undone, so he’s also proud of them.

On you? Well, Steven is an intellectual gentleman, so he is definitely a thigh guy. Thighs of all kind in fact. Dainty, slender thighs, strong, muscular thighs, plush, thick thighs with little dimples of cellulite? All of them! Likes having them warm his cheeks when he’s going down on you.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum) 

I don’t think he likes mess that much, so I feel like he probably uses condoms to keep things more manageable if yall aren’t trying for kids, or having you swallow after giving him a blowie if you’re ok with that.

That being said, I think there’s a part of him that would really like to give you a facial. It’s such a dirty idea to him.

D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs)   

Would like to be fingered, maybe even pegged, but he’s too embarrassed to bring it up.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) 

He has experience, but not with many people. He’s been in two or three serious relationships before you, so he has a pretty good grasp on what he likes, and how to do what you like. Good communicator too.

F = Favourite Position

A tossup between missionary and cowgirl. He likes the classic intimacy of the latter, but there’s something about you bouncing up and down on him, your body on full display, that just does it for him.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment or humorous?)    

Not really goofy at all, but not necessarily serious either, unless he’s feeling super sincere and loving that day.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes?) 

He definitely has hair down there, but it’s well-groomed of course.

They don’t call him the silver-haired dreamboat for nothing ;)

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? are they romantic?)  

So romantic. Loves intertwining his fingers with yours as he glides into you. He tells you how beautiful you are and how much he loves you, and how good you feel.

J = Jack Off (masturbation headcanon.) 

Doesn’t masturbate that often, it’s definitely more of a thing he does when he’s away from you for a long period of time. Thinks of you when he does it, likes to imagine it’s some part of you wrapped around his dick and not his hand.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks.) 

Likes light bondage, whether it’s you or him being tied up, big fan of how aesthetically pleasing shibari is. Also likes blindfolds and waxplay.

He’s a switch, but that being said, he’s very softcore when it comes to it. Very gentle dom, very soft sub.

L = Location (where are their favourite places to do the do?) 

Anywhere at home, though he thinks the bed is the most intimate. He loves doing it outside, provided you two are alone and unlikely to be seen or disturbed.

One of his favourite memories is when he made love to you on a secluded beach in Alola, while the sun was setting and bathing you in gold.

M = Motivation (what turns them on and gets them going?) 

Sometimes he just looks at you and you just smile at him, and he is so in love that he has to show you exactly how he feels. With his penis, naturally.

Other things that get him going, include lingerie, likes how delicate and pretty it is on your skin, when you put on lipbalm/lipgloss/lipstick, reminds him of what that mouth can do ;), and when you’re all dressed up to go out to a fancy dinner/party with him, you just looked so gorgeous and expensive decked out in your beautiful outfit and decorated in all those jewels he found for you.

N = NO (is there something they wouldn’t do? what are their turn-offs?) 

He can’t bring himself to hurt you or degrade you. He just can’t, even if you’re into it. Not only does it hurt him to see you in pain, it makes him feel like a bad person too.

O = Oral (do they prefer giving or receiving? how skilled are they?) 

This man could live between your legs if he could. He’s so thorough and passionate about it, loves the way you moan.

He feels awkward, unworthy when you offer to go down on him. That being said, he loves it when you do. The image of your lips wrapped around him is one of his all-time favourites.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough or slow and sensual?) 

Slow and sensual, all the way baby! Very thorough with each thrust. He can be fast, but not too much of a fan of being rough.

Q = Quickie (what is their opinion on quickies over proper sex? how often do they have quickies?) 

Definitely way more of a meticulous, taking-his-time kind of guy, though he won’t turn down the odd quickie now and then. Those tend to happen when you two are getting ready to go out and you just look so good that he has to have you, but he also still wants to be on time for your dinner reservation or Devon gala.

R = Risk (are they willing to experiment? do they take risks?) 

Not super experimental but will humour you if it’s a relatively safe endeavour.

Due to his celebrity and corporate-heir status, he’s not one for anything public, so don’t even ask. When you guys get home though, go all out.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He managed three rounds once, but it’s usually one or two. He likes spending time on foreplay and non-intercourse sexual touch so the rounds can be pretty long.

T = Toy (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) 

The only ones that he owns are for you. He enjoys using them on you, treats them like an extension of himself and his skills rather than just a tool or a low effort way to make you orgasm.

Ironically, despite being a rock nerd, he doesn’t own any rock or gem toys.

U = Unfair (how much do they like to tease?) 

Not really, might tease you for how wet you’ve gotten so soon, but other than that he is a very nice, polite guy.

V = Volume (how loud are they? what sounds do they make?) 

Not super loud, but definitely a moaner and mewler over a groaner and a grunter. Loves talking during it too, whether it’s romantic notions or dirtier things.

W = Wild Card (a random nsfw headcanon.)

Likes doing a sugar-daddy/sugar-baby roleplay with you. He would never be in that kind of relationship in real life, but he thinks it’s fun to pretend once in a while and spoil you. He also loves it when you try use your body to get something out of him during these roleplays, makes him feel powerful.

X = X-Ray (what’s going on in those pants?) 

He’s longer than the average, but he’s as thick. He’s circumcised

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) 

Honestly, it depends. If he’s not out on a trip, it’s kind of in the middle, 2-3 times a week, maybe a fourth time if he’s feeling really frisky. However, if he’s been gone for a while, then clear out your schedule baby, you’ll be boning every day for the next week.

Z = ZZZ (how quickly do they fall asleep afterward?)

Not too quickly, though it does make him very relaxed and calm. If it’s before bed he’ll usually drift off in about half an hour, but if it’s the middle of the day, he can go about his business just fine, just maybe a little dazed and languid.

[thanksjro]

Dark Cybertron Chapter 7: Simon Furman and His Lack of a Relationship with the Singular They

The Lost Light is still being attacked by Ammonites, like it has been for the last few issues. Hound’s taken over as acting field commander and is calling all the shots. Chromedome uses his stupid beefy arms to punch things. Trailcutter is screaming. Swerve’s got his My First Blaster™ strapped to the top of his alt, and saves Crosscut.

Crosscut is our toy tie-in character for this issue. He’s a senator, and drafts play scripts. Arguably one of the more interesting tie-in guys, at least in theory. In practice, all he’s doing is forgetting Swerve’s name, which isn’t going to help the guy with his through-the-floor self esteem.

Crosscut points out that Swerve’s communicator is flashing, and while he’s checking his voicemail, all the Ammonites seemingly vanish… at least, until the gang realizes that they’re instead heading for Metroplex.

Inside, it would appear that the Rod Pod Squad aren’t actually dead, though their ride is probably toast. Before everything went to hell, a wall slammed down from the ceiling, protecting everyone from being utterly destroyed. Skids has figured out what all the arrow graffiti is about, earning himself a BOMP from Getaway. Looks like the internal structure of Metroplex has been shifting, and that’s why they got the runaround last issue. Also, Whirl’s gone missing, but we don’t have time to worry about that, because Swerve just called back with some bad news: the admium flakes they saw earlier mean that Metroplex has an alchemical virus.

Don’t you look at me like that, I’m getting to the explanation.

Alchemical viruses turn the metal of the body into admium, a rare, incredibly soft metal that will break down very easily and also kill you. It’s pretty bad to have. Also, contagious. Fellas better get outta there, posthaste.

The Ammonites are also storming Metroplex, so that’s an additional issue. God, it just never stops, does it?

Over in the Dead Universe-

Is

Is that a fortress of evil in the shape of Nova Prime’s head?

Is that a goddamned fortress-

Anyway, the center of Nova Prime’s universe is Kup, who was the guy who got oh-so-dramatically revealed at the end of the last issue. Unfortunately, Orion Pax also considers Kup to be very near and dear to his heart, and the whole “being turned into a space bridge” thing is going to be an issue.

This is the weirdest love triangle I’ve ever seen.

How the hell did Kup even get here? Well, in order to know that, you’ve have to had read Infestation, the bullshit zombie crossover comic miniseries that ran in 2011.

But I’m not going to do that.

Because I don’t want to.

After a bit of showboating, Nova Prime orders Nightbeat to take Team -Imus to their cell.

Over on Cybertron, Shockwave is getting real sick of Galvatron’s shit, but Galvatron is too busy posing dramatically to notice. Waspinator, Metalhawk, and Dreadwing float in the air. I’m not sure what they’re up to, but I’m sure it’s important. Jhiaxus shows up with a gaggle of goons, one of which seems to have forgotten his face in the jar by the door.

Galvatron gets shamed for tearing Megatron in half, since that sort of broke the space bridge in his torso, but he’s too busy being classist to care. Waspinator floats in the background. What are you doing back there, pal?

Shockwave orders Waspinator to carry Megatron to his quarters, but Galvatron’s decided that he’s going to be an asshole about everything today, even when he’s being helpful.

…Okay, Boomer.

Waspinator still ends up hauling Megatron’s ass away, and Shockwave and Jhiaxus have a little chat.

Back in the dead universe, Team -Imus are in their cell, as Nightbeat double-checks the locks or some shit, I dunno. They’re gonna get their sparks ripped out later in the day, so that the space bridge Kup’s got running in his torso finally has enough juice to actually friggin’ work.

Then Rodimus flashes his mystery hand at Nightbeat and makes him fall down. In order for the whole brainwashing thing to work, Nightbeat’s true nature had to be suppressed; however, whenever Rodimus shows off his mystery hand, it makes his brain kickstart back on, messing up the brainwashing.

Well, you know what, Cyclonus? That’s not my fucking fault. Blame Roberts and Barber. I certainly do.

ORION PLEASE.

We finally get a look at what Rodimus’ hand mystery is, and if you read Eugenesis, you might know where this is going. It would seem Nightbeat has not- which is for the best, really, given what happens to him in it- but he’s still a pretty smart cookie and can suss it out through the power of deductive reasoning. Here’s what he’s working with:

After a moment’s deliberation, he asks Rodimus, who he knows to be the captain of a ship, how many folks are riding around in the space yacht. Rodimus tells him 190, and shows off that he’s got his lipgloss on, and it would seem that Nightbeat’s a free man again. He lets everyone out of the cell, and they gear up to go pick up Kup. Orion Pax is confused as to what the hell just happened here, and Rodimus promises to explain why he’s carved a division problem into his palm once they aren’t in immediate danger.

Back on Cybertron, Galvatron and Waspinator are dragging Megatron’s halves towards Shockwave’s quarters, when Bumblebee pops out of nowhere with a gun and a mouth full of swears. He’s here for Megatron, and he’s not taking “no” for an answer. Galvatron thinks that this is super fucking funny, and tosses Megatron like an empty soda can into the wall so he can squash a bug.

It looks pretty grim for ol’ Bumblebee, but suddenly Galvatron realizes he left the oven on that Megatron’s gone missing.

Oh, there he is!

Megatron blasts Galvatron in the torso, then- in a surprisingly polite manner, at least for him- tells Bumblebee to grab his legs so they can get out of here. As the two of them traverse the burned-out husk that is Cybertron, Megatron decides to be a complete bastard, as he smiles at the idea of Starscream suffering. Like, dude, I know he kept you in weird hamster ball jail and spouted soliloquies in your general direction every single day you were there, but folks are dying right now.

Speaking of Starscream, he’s having a moment, as he sits on his knees and stares at the sky in abject horror while the world burns around him. Scoop comes by to yell at him for being a harbinger of death, and generally being a less than stellar leader, and Starscream halfway calls himself a dumpster fire.

Back inside Metroplex, the Rod Pod Squad are fortifying their defenses against the Ammonites, even though they really need to be getting the hell out of there before they get turned into talcum powder through the power of alchemy. Whirl shows back up, the Ammonite hanger-on in his grasp, and we get the skinny on why the hell the Ammonites are involved with this whole debacle anyway.

The answer is Shockwave.

The answer is always Shockwave.

Then the little dude explodes. It’s fine, they do that sometimes.

Before he went kablooey, little dude uttered the phrase, “if the dead are not enough.” We’ll get to what all that’s about later. Right now there are far more important things going on.

LIKE MOTHERFUCKING LADY ROBOTS.

But why is this such a big deal? Why is it that non-male coded robots who aren’t Arcee haven’t been seen up until this point? What’s up with that, huh?

Well, in order to understand IDW’s complicated relationship with gender, we’re going to have to do some digging into the history of Transformers as a franchise.

We’re going to have to talk about Simon Furman.

We're going to have to talk about Prime's Rib.

And we’re going to have to talk about Spotlight: Arcee.

Simon Furman wrote a lot of Transformers. You cannot get away from Simon Furman, because the man is so ingrained in the franchise. He was there for Marvel UK, he was there for the back half of Marvel US, he wrote for several other publication runs of Transformers, he worked on the Earth Wars mobile game-

-and, of course, IDW publishing.

Because Furman is so very well established and known in the industry, he gets the benefit of not being questioned on a lot of the calls he makes.

Which is a problem, because the man is a massive misogynist.

In 1989, Marvel UK #234 came out, containing the story entitled “Prime’s Rib!” in which the Autobots built Arcee in order to appease a group of strawmen feminists. Of course, one female Transformer isn’t enough for them, and they yell at poor Optimus Prime for trying his best. This is the point where Hot Rod is used as a writer avatar to try to smooth things over with the reader, because you see, the Transformers don’t even know what sexual dimorphism and gender identity even is, so of course they wouldn’t have female members of their race! Jazz is used for a breast joke. Arcee acts like a massive, stereotypical bitch the whole time, despite not having been written like that at all in the other issues. It’s a bad comic with hideous ideology leaking out of it, and I'm halfway sorry I read it, so I’ll just give you the essence of this nightmare.

Oh, those big, mean, scary feminists are bullying the robots for living their lives, huh Furman? Life is just so goddamned unfair when a woman exists in your fucking line of sight.

Furman has gone on record saying that he doesn’t see the point in including the concept of gender in a race of non-sexually reproducing robots. He sees them as “genderless.” Which, if that statement existed in a vacuum, I could perhaps see where he’s coming from.

But Simon Furman does not exist in a vacuum. He exists in a world where sexism exists, something that he’s willingly participated in.

Let me back up that little tidbit with a bit of a disclaimer: I’m not in any way an expert on gender. I didn’t study it in school, I’ve not read an obscene amount of pieces on the topic. I’m not even sure about it on a personal level.

Maybe some of y’all have noticed the whole other set of pronouns I slapped into the bio in the last month or so. It doesn’t really matter, 90% of people don’t read the FAQ/About, I know that, and then 95% of those people only read it once, and this has been a relatively new self-revelation.

BUT ANYWAY.

Let’s be… fair about this. 1989 was a while ago, a lot of research on the concept of gender has taken place, maybe he’s ch-

Oh, what’s that?

Misogyny?

Transphobia?

Transmisogyny?

Treating women as an aberration being forced on Transformers as a whole?

And the writing is clunky and overstuffed?

Well, that’s just fucking fantastic, Furman, thanks so much.

This was in 2008. Because Furman established that female Transformers weren’t something natural, but rather made, and forcibly at that, and nobody fucking smacked his little hands away from this terrible idea, AND nobody tried to fix it for years, there was a lack of gender diversity within IDW until 2014, with the release of Dark Cybertron Chapter 7. Because we waited six years to fix this nightmare, things couldn’t be done quite the way that Roberts had been hoping, in that he intended for our female robots to not have the whole… fembot build happening. IDW wanted them immediately clockable, because this was very clearly a problem that needed rectifying.

So, in short: because of boys’ club mentality and a lack of understanding of what gender means or why it’s important for roughly 50% of the world’s population to have representation in media, Nautica and Chromia are here now.

And despite the convoluted road they had to take, I love them very much.

[demes-tumbled-sims]

Avyan Immortal Dynasty, Chapter 3: For Its Own Sake

Index

<- Previous

So, I head home for a while. Knock out a few drinks. Wonder when Zest’ll get a clue -- about the 

baby, I mean. It’ll probably be a few days. But I get a phone call. Now, the big mansion, with the maze is not where I would have a dance party.

But whoever Miko knows, they disagree.

It’s late, but it’s my day off tomorrow; I can manage, and sleep in in the morning. Or something. The night is old, but I’ll only be young… I mean, I’m aiming for twice, in the long run, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves; there’s going to be a lot of in-between I don’t want to regret.

“Besides, it’s useful.”

“Uh duh!” She says, giggling at me. “That’s why I invited you. I figured ‘she doesn’t know who’s who,’ but I’m an expert! So… I’d help. But, you know…”

Some of what she’s saying doesn’t exactly hit home. Because something about it does. It does so much I feel it in my whole body. Her tone is kind and sort of, well, teasing.

But there’s such a certainty to that. I mean, she’s right. It’s true. It’s just -- just that that’s the sort of certainty I have, in my head.

And she’s… really enthusiastic. About helping me out. She was thinking about me.

That’s something you don’t see every day. Is all.

I’m still absorbing that, while she keeps talking.

“It’s no good to think of having fun or meeting people in terms of being useful! They can just be people, for a while. I mean, you’re going to live forever -- you should try to appreciate people for themselves, because they’ll change all the time. Aren’t there people you just like for themselves?”

“It’s not like they’re separate,” I say, laughing. “Or that’s all I think about. Right now, I’m pretty deep in a fight. It’s hard to take my eyes off the prize.”

She pauses mid-swing of her hips, as if the music had frozen. She looks at me for a long time, picking back up the beat; compared to me, she has a pretty strong musical sense.

“You didn’t answer~” Like she’s got something on me.

Shoot. Shoot. Maybe she does. Maybe she does.

Let’s review:

She digs me; let’s not beat around the bush about it. I can’t blame her or anything…

But she gets that that’s a bad move for her, right?

I like her laugh for its own sake; I like her colorful taste for its own sake; I like the way she teases me for its own sake. But that’s not enough. She dreams of love and freedom and wild oats; there are a lot of things she wants that I can’t give. And I’m not…

Oh, plumbob.

“Okay, okay. Here’s my answer.”

I’ll fight for someone who has my back like this.

She kisses me back, her hand draping up across my shoulder. The music’s gone; the laser-light is blinding. She’s got strawberry-kiwi lipgloss. Perfect.

“Look,” I say, the moment we part. “Look. I get that this sort of permanence might not be your bag, but -- I -- I really do like you and we’d make a good team, so…” It’s too late. I shake my head. This wasn’t a bad idea, or anything, but I should have made a plan so I could make a better case.

“You don’t have to be so defensive, you know. I can see a lot of appeal -- and wouldn’t it be a problem for you?”

“Don’t just turn me down like that. It wouldn’t be. Look, I… I can’t make a case this late at night. Think about it, OK?”

She giggles, and snakes her arms around me.

“I will. I promise, promise, cross my heart and stick a needle in my eye, I won’t make a choice I regret.”

So I don’t exactly remember how I get home? There weren’t even any drinks, I was just dead on my feet, which is unfair.

When I wake up, I start planning my case. But when Miko asks me out to a lunch at a seafood place…

We just talk for a while. Just relax. I order the wine for both of us; I listen to her explain the connection between modern “ready-made” art and a show about rocks that sounds cute, especially put in her excited, bouncy tones.

The lunch is over by the time I make my move. Well, my non eyelash-batting move. Decidedly not the ol’ reach-around.. I don’t get jitters, but I might have had them, a little, waiting for her to come out from the bathroom.

“OK, here’s my pitch. Yeah, things are a little sparse right now; but we’re going up in the world, and you can count on me to earn our keep. If we time it right, I can watch the kid; I’ve got people to watch the kid. You can trust me not to sleep around.”

“What poetry… But what about you as a person?” She’s teasing me. “Doesn’t it matter if I like you?”

“Well, I would hope you would; I mean… I am pretty awesome. But... do you?”

She fidgets for a second with her hat, her face a blur of pink hair and pink blush.

“I like that sleekness you have! It’s cool!... But sometimes you just sort of expose some other part of you.  It’s like a window to a star. It’s kinda sweet and... kinda lonely. And I...I really love that person. I want to let that star in.” She finds her courage. “I love you!”

Love?! Really?...Heh. She's really surprised me.

“But I understand why playing the field is important to you; I can’t just sell you to come and live with me forever on the back of that!”

“Sure you can! You could swoop me up in your arms and say ‘Darling, come away with me! We can woohoo in the shade of blossoming trees and I will preen for you like a peacock on display!  Let me dazzle you in my dreams! I will remember your name when men are but fairytales in books written by rabbits!’ And I would say...”

“You would say?” I lean forward, until the space between us is very close.

“Well, wouldn’t you have to ask me the right way? I want to hear what Kestral feels; not what you’ve rehearsed.”

“Right. Right! It’s not ‘come away with me,’ we can save the blossom trees, but...”

“When you’re going on about something, it’s like a jewel.I can do anything if you’ve got my back. When I touch your hand, I want to grab it and make you forget about ever wanting anyone else… But more than that...”

“I need someone in my life -- and there’s no one I want it to be but you. Will you marry me?”

It wasn’t the sort of place you could imagine for a proposal, the kitchen of a busy seafood place. It was kind of perfect. She really surprised me.

“Sure! Let’s do it!”

She slips the ring on and beams, and then throws herself, to the surprise of the kitchen staff, into my arms.

“Okay! Now, we away to the casbah!” I spin her around, and out the door we go.

When she moved in after that (we’re not married yet), she brought one of her roomates with her, Akira. The teen girl? Optional. Fantastic. Akira himself? Not bad.

I ask her what she’ll plan next, since this will mess with her old dreams:

“Since I can’t express my wild side with romance, I’ll do it with art. For now, anyway…. It probably suits me about as well!”

I kind of wonder what made her think of serial romantic in the first place. I get its appeal, but not why just yet.

We remake our room to something full of her personal flair. I don’t know if we’ll have the look forever, but I want it to feel like her home.

And I throw the first of, let’s be honest, probably many dinner parties. Knock that out; I need to get Silver minimum, but I can hit gold without breaking my stride, going for an early dinner.

It’s really fun, having a bunch of people over, the dance music playing over my bar... watching Zest flirt.

“Those highlights are tickle-me-pink, right?” “Hot pink, my man,” Candy says slyly. “Are you sure? I’m positively tickled by them. And your hair certainly says ‘tickle me’ to me.” Well, I think that’s flirting. Who can say? It’s a vision of an alien world. “Try and keep up, Johnny,” is Candy’s answer as she dances forward.

And more than flirt. Zest is a total dog, and if he were not, I think I would have to make him.

“I just moved in, and I’ll tell you -- this is a funny little place. The rooms are so tiny, they’re mostly beds,” Akira was explaining to Ulrike outside, the music drifting over him.

“If it’s a good bed, that’s at least nice, right? Maybe you can make it more your thing.”

“Yeah, maybe. I hope so.”

And me? I’m talking to my girl a while.

“Oooh, ooh. You did get a dress like mine!” “I did. Cooler colors, though -- even if the pattern’s not as cute.” “It looks nice, though. I couldn’t picture you in a dress before.” I forget if that coffee counted as a drink for the nonsensical and almighty party council, judge of social occasions. Well, the party council of public opinion, anyway. 

“Babe? Today’s been… Really special. Magical, even.” I caress her soft cheek. “It’s been a whirlwind, alright! You’re nonstop, aren’t you?” “Absolutely."

This isn’t *that* Woohoo, I mean, I’m not really where I’d like with my career… But there are some things that just won’t wait.

But this isn’t all smooching pretty girls; with the party gilt and the night won, I learn of just one other victory:

Gino’s caught us our first Angelfish. We’re getting on our way.

[pineappuu-pineappley]

women question thingy cuz im bored

GENERAL WOMANHOOD: 1. Do you like the color pink? nnnot really? pastel pink is kinda cool i guess 2. Did you play with Barbie dolls as a child? ye 3. How easily do you cry? not very? but more so now than before 4. What food do you eat the most of when you’re sad? i eat whatever tbh i dont sad eat? 5. How often do you experience boob sweat? whenever i sweat zz 6. How moody are you when you are you are on your period? doesnt really matter? idk 7. Have you ever thought you were pregnant because your period was late? binch i dont even get a text back i cant have sex HAHAHA 8. Have you ever been on the pill? no, but like my periods are so fucking bizarre so idk but ??? 9. Would you ever want to have children someday? tbh idk i guess but im still too young to decide lol 10. Have you ever given birth? If not, would you ever want to? no, and idk yet :v 11. How good of a cook do you consider yourself? a little above average because i just throw food in without recipes and stuff but my mother is a wizard 12. What is your favorite thing to cook? egg.. ngl its just crack dat bitch and cook it its easy af HAHA  13. Can you sew? ye i guess but not actual clothes 14. Do you consider yourself a feminist? i think so, but like i’m not “active” and also wtf is wrong with “feminists” that want death to men like seriously you’re also part of the problem yall crazy 15. How do you define “girl power?” power specifically for girls, may it be over their body or themselves?? 16. Have you ever wished you were born a male? a little but only cuz that one time i think i was gay for a friend and it would be much easier to come to terms with it, speaking of which i dont even know my sexuality but i dont really care LOL 17. Breastfeeding or formula? breastfeeding  18. What is your opinion of equal pay? its important!! but then if we’re not looking at gender its unfair if someone who does jackshit gets the same pay as someone working their literal ass off. instead of adjusting based on gender why not adjust it based on work done? if you slack off u get a pay cut if u work hard you get a raise? 19. Are you pro-life or pro-choice? ah shit uh, i think i’m both??? (that makes no sense) like i know i have no right to force someone to do something but at least maybe i’d like to talk to them about it? a life is a life /shrugs/ but ultimately it is not my choice to make if it’s not my situation, all i can do is to maybe let someone understand the morality behind say abortion. HOWEVER!!! i think birth control for period management because of certain conditions is good and this shouldn’t be taken away from people who need it!! I’m just so !!! at women getting refused treatment for a spontaneous abortion or whatever because its an abortion, but the body rejected the foetus all on its own!! she has a right to healthcare!! (i saw this on a documentary on abortion in the ph iirc and like refusing someone treatment because its not moral to “fully abort” a foetus, even though it’s already aborted by the BODY ITSELF and not by other MEANS is literally not caring for the person who needs the HELP?!?!!?? its more immoral to refuse healthcare to her than to give her healthcare to abort the foetus because the body aborted it by itself it is spontaneous sometimes it happens okay?????) 20. Have you ever experienced any sexism? If so, please explain. i dont think so tbh 21. What is one thing about women you think most men don’t know? not everyone wants your dick in their vagina shut the fuck up HAHA 22. Complete this phrase: I’m so glad I’m a woman because______. i’m not burdened by society rules about hugging my friends and make up? i have no idea tbh i’m just eh about everything am i even a woman HAHAHA

LIFE EXPERIENCES: 23. Have you ever been a Girl Scout? no 24. Have you ever been a ballerina? noo 25. Have you ever been a cheerleader? no 26. Were you ever voted as a homecoming or prom queen? can we eat prom? 27. Have you ever hosted a sleepover? yeah i guess but its just because my friends dont wanna walk one block home its great HAHA 28. Do you belong to a sorority? we dont have those things in here 29. Have you ever kept a diary or a journal? i used to keep a diary when i was a kid now i just want a bujo but where s my shit 30. American ladies: did you vote for Hillary Clinton? not american PHYSICAL APPEARANCE: 31. What is the longest your hair has ever been? a v-cut where the longest was at my asscrack 32. Have you ever cut your hair super short? shaved it for hair for hope uvu 33. What hairstyle do you wear the most? either down with a side parting or up/half-up in a hairstick, at home just an ugly ass bun. like my hair is nice but the style is meh 34. Have you ever dyed your hair? no, im afraid of spoiling it 35. What is the heaviest you have ever weighed? now im always heavy lmao  36. How muscular are you? i have some muscle in my calves and the top of my arms but im 90% fat so 37. Are your ears pierced? one on each lobe 38. Do you have any piercings anywhere besides your ears? nah 39. Do you have any tattoos? If so, of what and where? noo 40. How often do you wear lipstick or lipgloss? almost never, if i wear makeup i still forget about it LOL 41. How often do you paint your nails? rarely 42. Have you ever worn any fake eyelashes or fake nails? yes at both but fake nails dont survive  43. How often do you shave/wax your legs? i never did  44. How white are your teeth? eh not very but its not stained v badly i guess 45. What do you think is your best physical feature? my softness? 46. What do you think is your worst physical feature? fats HAHA 47. Do you have a “look” (i.e. a mad/annoyed/upset stare)? blur face 48. How good are you at communicating through facial expressions? i dont i just make potato faces FASHION STYLE: 49. What is your favorite fashion brand? prolly iora or lalu or something i think they have korean-ish/school-girl ish aesthetic  50. Do you wear skirts and dresses at all? If so, how often? ye, not v often because school is anal about it :) 51. What is your dress size? dunno but i think im like a L-XL depending on cut? 52. Do you wear any high heels or stilettos at all? If so, how often? no, dont own any 53. Have you ever worn high heels casually? no? not really nah 54. How often do you wear a bra? only in public or when non-family members are in the house 55. Does it matter if your bra and panties match or not? i alternate between only 2 bras i dont care 56. Which are you more likely to go without: a bra or panties? i forgot to wear a bra like 3 times in my life two of which i already had noticecable boobs 57. How much of your underwear is white? i have a few now? 58. Have you ever worn a skirt or a dress without any panties underneath? yo wtf dont get ur vag juices everywhere omg also everything is dirty dont do that 59. What is the shortest length of skirts and dresses you are comfortable wearing? if i fold the butt part to wrap my butt and it manages to cover my entire butt i guess but only if i have safety shorts 60. How expensive was your prom dress? shit idr 61. What clothing item do you own the most of (if shirts, be specific to what kind)? t-shirts (but not anymore-) 62. How much jewelry do you typically wear? a pair of earrings, used to have a necklace but i havent got a new chain yet 63. How much makeup do you typically wear? either full face or none, twice before concealer + eyeliner thats it 64. Do you like eyeshadow? THAT SHITE BOMB 65. Do you carry a purse? i prefer a bigger bag because i bring way too much shit 66. What is your preferred way to carry a purse: In your hand, on your elbow, or on your elbow? slung on my shoulder 67. How big is your closet? not very 68. Have you ever looked through your closet an thought “I have nothing to wear”? YES WTF BC I LOOK LIKE A HOBO (also i literally keep running out of shirts nowadays) 69. Have you ever worn the same outfit more than once? ya what do u think i am a diva? HAHA 70. One-piece swimsuits or bikinis? t-shirt and shorts 71. Have you ever worn a mismatched bikini? i never put my body into a bikini 72. Do you like tube and halter tops fat arms man :v 73. Do you like crop tops? they look aesthetic af but just not on me HAHAHAH 74. Are you comfortable showing off a little cleavage? ye i guess WEDDING CRAZE: 75. Have you ever been a bridesmaid? no but i’ve been flower girl multiple times 76. Would you ever want to get married? i guess 77. For how long have you thought about your wedding? i dont even have a crush rn so i never even thought of it 78. How much of your wedding do you already have planned out? -100% 79. Indoor or outdoor wedding? church wedding preferable in an airconditioned one imean- HAHAHA 80. Would you want to have a lot of bridesmaids or just a couple? i dont have a lot of friends DATING & RELATIONSHIPS: 81. What is your current relationship status? single as a pringle never gonna mingle 82. Do you consider yourself a hopeless romantic? no 83. Are you a virgin? If not, which gender did you lose your virginity to? yes 84. What personality trait are you most attracted to? shit uh, (judging on my 2d biases) cheerful puppy type? 85. Have you ever been on a blind date? no 86. Has anyone ever tried to set you up on a date? noo 87. Do you kiss on a first date? no  88. How often do guys hit on you? never HAHA 89. Have you ever kissed another woman? If so, did you like it? shIt ya and ya, go away 90. Have you ever dated another woman? i almost did? 91. Is sex before marriage wrong? IT’S AGAINST THE MORAL ORDER!!! according to my religion but also even if it’s not religion its good to only give yourself to another after marriage uvu. but idk 92. After how long would you start to consider a relationship to be serious? i dont know maybe a year? LOL idek if someone can stand being with my after 2 weeks 93. Would you rather your lover give you chocolate or flowers? steak.. or like meat or like good food ENTERTAINMENT: 94. What celebrity do you most admire? i dont- know-? 95. Do you like romantic comedies? Any favorites? eh dont think so 96. Do you have a favorite romantic movie? no 97. Who is your favorite Disney princess? mulan? MERIDA? idk 98. What is your favorite Disney song? shit idk 99. Do you watch The Bachelor or The Bachelorette? whats that 100. Have you ever watched Sex & The City? no 101. Have you ever watched any shows such as Project Runway or America’s Next Top Model? yeah but like random episodes on the tv with my mom, i rather watch masterchef junior but not with the newer seasons cuz my bro said the way they made it is like poo 102. Do you read romantic novels? If so, do you have any recommendations? im like -100% romantic please stop 103. Beyonce or Taylor Swift? beyonce maybe 104. Oprah Winfrey or Ellen DeGeneres? ellen? idk  A PILE OF RANDOMNESS: 105. Are you named after anyone? Dionne Warwick (not celine dion stop this shit i will fight you) 106. How many male friends do you have? nnnot many? i’m close to steffy tho yes bless uvu  107. Have you ever called your female friends your girlfriends? i can barely type “i love you” i cannot with cheesy shit so hazukashit 108. Have you ever called a non-lover a term such as honey, dear, babe, or darling? ye i call friendos bebe or something but only through text because im shy LOL 109. Have you ever dotted your I’s with a heart or a smiley face? hearts, i stopped bc a teacher was like “lol” in front of the entire class thanks 110. How many items do you own that are of a floral print design? idk but floral prints are nice 111. Name five things you always have in your purse. (not including phone and wallet) lipbalm (that i never use), axe oil (running out), vicks, tigerbalm (why do i have 2), blotting paper (also dont really use) 112. Have you ever lost anything inside your purse? my sanity jk idk 113. Have you ever carried a spare pair of underwear with you in your purse? only pads 114. What is the most amount of money you’ve ever spent in one single shopping trip? idk $60 maybe idk weep i spend it all online 115. Do you consider shopping a sport? no wtf but walking around a lot is a pain so i guess it could be 116. Have you ever used your cleavage or a bra as a purse? i use a bad stop with the purse i carry too much shit 117. Coffee or tea? tea 118. Can you do the splits? i will only split my pants and muscles open so no 119. Do you do any yoga? no 120. Have you ever been told that to have cute handwriting? yea but i think it’s messy and ugly and changes too often 121. How well can you write in cursive? look at 120 122. Have you ever successfully been on a diet? no fuck that 123. Do you or have you ever belonged to a book club? no 124. Have you ever talked yourself out of a driving ticket by using your looks? no lmao i dont even drive 125. Have you ever drank a non-alcoholic beverage out of a wine glass? i guess? 126. Showers or baths? showers 127. Have you ever tried using a toilet while standing up? ya its horrible because u dont have a dick to aim 128. Have you ever been considered the mother of your group of friends? ye actually- 129. Do you own any sex toys? no HAHA RATINGS: 130. From 1-10, how feminine do you consider yourself? 6? 131. From 1-10, how much are you like your mother? 7-8 132. From 1-10, how much do you look like your mother? 5 because i smile like her but a lot of people say i look like my dad 133. From 1-10, how much are you like your father? 3 he’s chill im not 134. From 1-10, how polite are you? depends but maybe 7 135. From 1-10, how cute do you consider your laugh? -11 136. From 1-10, how strict are you about manners? 5? 137. From 1-10, how much of a neat freak are you? 6 but my handwriting is shit 138. From 1-10, how much of a hopeless romantic are you? -11 139. From 1- 10, how healthy do you eat? 6? its Meat > veggies > fish (but cuz i dont like how fish is cooked here? i love meat but i need veg to live too but i dont like salads give me roasted veg or stir fry veg or veg soops uvu) 140. From 1-10, how much do you like decorating for holidays?  4?