#giving me not just one but two heartbreaking anGSTY SAD REPLIES. RUDE.

[homiines]

i think we should put @everloves on a timeout for providing us with way too much angsty stuff on the dash tonight.

[nbkdramathings]

More Than Friends; Episode 9 Thoughts While Watching

I saw that episode 10 is up but since I didn’t get to watch 9 yesterday like I wanted, here we are. Haha

First of all, Lee Soo in the rain expressing his feelings! All angsty and whatnot? Love it.

Woo Yeon crying at the bus stop because she can’t “act like Soo” and brush off his feelings for her? Love it.

I feel like I’m just saying how much I love people being sad. Haha

The CEO standing outside her house on more than one occasion is still creepy. You can’t change my mind. How about just shooting her a text and waiting for her to reply if she wants to? FROM YOUR OWN HOME.

I like that Woo Yeon told the CEO to express himself more. He is so busy trying to make everything perfect that he’s masking how upset he was that he couldn’t get in contact with her (which is a red flag, let’s be honest) and replacing it with a simple “It’s okay because you’re you” and that’s...super unhealthy.

Everybody is just SAD. Good grief, just be single. ALL OF YOU.

Seriously though. Go get therapy. There’s a lot of deep rooted emotions that need to be dealt with before ANY OF YOU are ready to be in a relationship.

I don’t get good vibes from barista boy. He seems clingy and...I don’t know. Plus, I think she’d be better to have someone older.

Awww, mopey Soo turned into happy Soo after that text. Haha

The shot of him walking through the doors of the cafe was so pretty. The color palette of this drama is so aesthetically pleasing.

Ok so WY’s whole dialogue after LS asks her how she can be fine after what happened the previous day comes across so much better when you actually hear her tone and inflections. By just readying screenshots, I thought she was being rude and kind of nasty, but she doesn’t sound that way at all. She’s just leveling with him.

Not to say she hasn’t said some nasty things and has used harsh tones though. Because she definitely has.

And he’s just so open about his feelings now! I’m crying.

“An unrequited love. Sincerely.” That hit me so hard! Such a simple but beautifully heartbreaking dialogue.

Lmao Thinking you’re drunk calling the person causing you heartbreak but it’s really your dad. SMH

Their relationship is actually really funny. His dad is so done with him. Haha

This whole “I was afraid you would grow up to be cold and distant” conversation should have happened like 10+ years ago, Mom. He’s 28.

Better late than never though, I guess?

I have to say, I really like this friendgroup. Everybody has interesting synergy.

I’m going to need for P.O and Jin Joo to get together soon. I’m kind of meh on Young Hee and Hyun Jae, but the other two are good together.

Young Hee coming with some good advise and observations!

Oh nooo. He said I love you. Oh nooooo.

That was so awkward.

None of this would be happening to you, Joon Soo, if you would just TELL her how you’re feeling about all of this. COMMUNICATE.

Here’s more “let me buy your love” energy coming from CEO. When will you learn she doesn’t care about all of that?

Okay so I was waiting until they actually started talking again after WY found out she drunk called JS thinking it was LS and??? How do you, as her boyfriend who “loves” her, not ask her what’s wrong when her attitude completely changed after she was on the phone?? HOW????

This breakup is really insightful and clean. Of course, I know what CEO is gonna do later but WY sitting down and telling him that holding your emotions is what makes a bad relationship was spot on. He needed to hear that, whether he can recognize that or not.

I have my own thoughts on the whole “you made her cry for 10 years” thing because...he really didn’t, but that’s for later.

Funny how the first real emotion we get from CEO is anger and he’s ready to inflict violence on the object of his disdain. Once again, if you had communicated what you were feeling this whole time, you wouldn’t be in this situation.

We also wouldn’t have a drama but whatever.

Also also: the whole “anybody but you” thing is so wrong. So so wrong. Like LS said, it’s not up to you to decide.

Manipulation is allll over that look on CEO’s face when he takes blame for the fight. He’s not being remorseful. He’s trying to see if he can sway her to his side. NOT HEALTHY.

Not that I want them to continuously hurt each other, but even her interaction with LS was livelier than it was with the CEO. And she’s just putting ointment on their faces!

“I’m the most precious to me.” Yessssss!! Say THAT, ma’am!

We needed that time jump tbh.

I really like that LS is comfortable taking pictures of people now. He can really open his catalogue and expand on what he wants to convey in his photos.

I haven’t talked about him, but I like CEO’s friend/assistant. He drops gems and is really funny. Haha

“It took me a month to find an excuse.” That’s not...you know what? Never mind. SMH

The exhibit is pretty though.

Lee Soo walking past them was a nice touch, but that interview at the end was so so good too. Haha

Did you notice him kind of shaking and sighing at the end though? My boy wanted to go to his girl so bad!

What a nice episode! I have to commend this drama for giving us the angst and the boneheaded actions of the characters but still have them recognize where they go wrong. It’s really refreshing. No one in this show is cut and dry, and that’s all you can really ask for when it comes to storytelling. Characters need to be multilayered, make mistakes, know and learn from said mistakes, and reflect and hopefully grow from what they’ve learned. That’s what makes a good show. If a character can make you FEEL so much, then the writer has done their job. They have to take you on a journey, and so far this drama is doing just that. I’m so obsessed!

[codename-bewareofthefangirl]

Hello~can i request a chuuyaxdazai where dazai loses his memorys , wakes up at the ADA but doesent know who they are. And when they explain thing to him he wouldnt belive he would be able to leave the maffia or chuuya so he goes to chuuya's. :33 angsty but pls? Thank you!!!

Hi dear!

I’ve written this yesterday at 3AM since I’m stressed&depressed (ha ha, they rhyme), hoping to use my emotions in a more positive way. The result? Now I’m sad because I believe this isn’t that good, I feel like I’ve failed at conveying the right emotions. I apologize since this is the best I managed to come up with, and I hope you’ll enjoy even just a tiny bit.

I’m not sure I’ve portrayed their personalities well enough, especially sixteen!Dazai. I tried, but I warn you about possible OOC.

Thank you for your patience and warm support,

Have a nice day!

Soukoku (DazaixChuuya), Angst, Temporary Memory Loss, Mentions of the past, Heartbreak, Sixteen!Dazai

 Shattered

 It wasn’t true.

It was just a lie. A prank. Some ability user messing with him. A trap.

It has to be.

“Dazai-san? Dazai-san!” a young boy with white hair and an irregular haircut screamed relieve, “He’s awake! Kunikida-san! Ranpo-san! Everyone!”

A worried man with a rectangular pair of glasses rushed to his side as he tried to straighten; every inch of his body hurt. A bed? No, a couch. But…where?

“Dazai! How are you?”

Why was he touching him?

A cold smile was all he could muster in his conditions.

“I apologize for my rudeness, who are you?”

Dazai would have never left Port Mafia. He would have never joined a pathetic Detective Agency and played babysitter. He would have never…

He caught sight of his reflection in a shop window and halted. With wide, horrified eyes, he lifted a hand and hesitantly touched the glass, tracing the silhouette of his own face.

It was so wrong.

He was so…adult. Old. Mellowed.

In his features, he saw an unknown softness that scared him.

Shaking his head, he stepped back and resumed running. There was only one person he could trust, one person he could run to.

“Dazai-san, please don’t joke!” The young one muttered, incredulous. He had to be his age.

The man with the strange hat and a lollipop in the mouth tilted his head.

“I’m afraid he’s not joking…” he hummed, “How old are you?”

“Sixteen.”

Dazai was sixteen.

Sixteen and the younger executive in Port Mafia.

Sixteen and part of the deadly Soukoku.

Sixteen and dumbly in love.

“Probably an ability or a trauma…we should wait for Yosano, she’s the only one who could help him.”

Trauma? Helping him?

Those fuckers were just messing up with him. He didn’t remember what he was doing before, but he probably had been on a mission that had ended badly, with him unconscious and drugged. Well, not even that bad, considering he had managed to knock out one of his capturers and escape.

They were probably on his trail, but in a few minutes, he would be safe and ready for the counterattack. They were going to regret their stupid attempt. They didn’t know who they were challenging.

As soon as he stepped into Port Mafia’s territory, they started firing on him.

“What the hell?!” he growled, jumping out of the firing line and taking cover behind a wall.

What were they doing? Hadn’t they recognized him? He was going to personally punish them later.

He took a breath, incredulous something so shitty was happening to him, and stepped out again, keeping his hands in the air.

He raised an eyebrow, in a mocking expression.

The men stopped shooting and exchanged a perplexed glance. Two of them left their hidings and carefully walked to him.

Dazai didn’t recognize them…ah, they had to be new recruits! That’s why they had shot him!

He sighed, “They should instruct you better.”

He strolled peacefully towards them.

“Ya~hoo! I’ve managed to return! If they’ve sent someone to save me, call them back,” he grinned, “I managed on my own.”

The men pointed the guns to his chest.

“What are you doing here?”

“Do you want to die?”

Eh? What was going on?

“Ah? Are you new perhaps?” Dazai blinked, amused, “You should remember at least the faces of your executives, people could get mad at you otherwise! I’m Daza-”

“DAZAI-SAN!”

Shit.

Dazai clicked his tongue and turned to face his pursuers. Wow, the kid was already on his feet, even after receiving one of his blows. Impressive.

“DAZAI! STOP! THEY’RE GOING TO KILL YOU!”

“You are still going on with that stupid story?” Dazai muttered under his breath, before snapping his fingers.

“Shoot them.”

The Mafia’ men didn’t move.

Dazai frowned at them.

“Eh? What’s happened to your enthusiasm? You were happily shooting me, but you won’t kill the enemy?”

“What the fuck are you saying?”

“It must be a mind trick or something…”

“DAZAI-SAN PLEASE LET US EXPLAIN!”

One of them pointed the muzzle of the gun to his forehead. Atsushi and Kunikida halted horrified.

“Are you serious?” Dazai blinked. It’s not that he feared for his life but he felt lost.

What was happening? Nothing made sense, a foreign sense of fear filled him for the first time in years, and he felt like drowning. It had to be a nightm-

“OI DAZAI, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?”

The two armed men swiftly stepped out of the way, letting him go.

That voice washed immediately Dazai’s anxiety away.

With a mocking grin, he let out petulant, “Chuuya-kun! Have you come to…

…save me”

As he turned, the words remained stuck in his throat.

Same stupid hat, childish and annoyed pout, red hair and shining blue eyes.

But he wasn’t Chuuya.

He wasn’t his partner.

He wasn’t his Chuuya.

Before he could even react, the man dashed forward at inhuman speed and aimed a kick at his head.

Dazai ducked by a hair but lost the balance and fell on the ground. The shock had hacked his brain.

“Why are you old too?” he stuttered.

“Ah?” Chuuya roared, swinging his leg again.

Dazai had to roll to avoid a mean hit.

“CHUUYA-SAN PLEASE STOP! IT’S NOT THAT DAZAI!”

Chuuya had already grabbed the man by the collar and pulled him up. He brought back the clenched fist and aimed to the face.

But he stopped. Few centimeters from Dazai’s nose, he stopped.

Not because of Atsushi’s words, no. It was the light in his eyes.

Lost. Confused. Betrayed.

A cold hand clenched his heart.

An unwanted memory flashed in front of his eyes.

With a jerk, he let him go, and stepped back,

He glared at the two members of  Port Mafia and the ones from the Detective Agency.

“What’s going on? Why is he trespassing?” He asked, eyeing suspiciously the unusually unresponsive Dazai.

“We tried to shoot him, sir! But he said we were crazy, sir!”

“Trespassing?” Dazai blurted, shocked.

Atsushi and Kunikida stopped, keeping a safe distance from them.

“We don’t know exactly what happened, but someone has screwed up his mind. More than usual,” Kunikida explained, fixing his glasses.

“His mind?”

“He has lost his recent memories,” Atsushi added, “He thinks he’s sixteen.”

“I don’t think, I am sixteen. And whatever is happening, you’re all going to pay for this,” Dazai threatened like a petulant teenager, a wicked smile on his lips.

“Six-sixteen…?” Something broke in Chuuya. He lowered once again his eyes on him.

Sixteen.

Their golden year.

“Ah, Soukoku? Isn’t it a nice name, Chuuya-kun?”

“Why should I care, suicidal freak!”

“Don’t lie! I know your maiden heart thinks it’s cool, Chu-chu!”

“I swear I’ll fucking kill you!”

“I only do double suicides! Are you volunteering? I’d love you to!”

Sixteen.

When he had been appointed executive.

“Now I can’t bully my Chuuya-kun anymore! If you hadn’t rightfully gained it, I would officially complain!”

“Oi Shitty- Wait, was that a compliment?”

“Thank you for noticing. Can I have a reward now?”

Sixteen.

A year before their first kiss.

“Ah? Is that blush, Chuuya-kun?”

“Shut it or I’m gonna kill you!”

“Is it because I look hot in this suit? Or because I’m pining you to the wall?”

“Dazai-”

“You know why I’m pining you, at least?”

“I’ve stopped trying to understand your wicked mind.”

“Then, let me show it to you…”

Only two years before the betrayal.

Before everything crumbled down.

“…and I don’t know why you did it, but I’m impressed, and it has been a good prank, can we call it off now? Chu-chu are you even listening?”

Chuuya blinked, shaking his head to drown the memories once again.

He met Dazai’s eyes as the man waited to have attention. A gaze filled with complicity, teasing and that subtle, almost invisible affection.

“Don’t look at me like that.” The harsh words escaped his mouth before he could even think them.

“Chu-” Dazai tried to take his hand, but the man swatted his away.

“Stop it,” he continued, coldly, “What they are saying it’s true. You’re not stupid, I know you’ve realized there’s something wrong. That’s it: They’re right. No prank or similar shit.”

“It’s not funny,” Dazai hissed, a hint of nervousness in the voice, as he stood up.

But Chuuya wasn’t even looking at him. His eyes were empty, the words just an echo.

“No, it isn’t, but it’s the truth. When you were eighteen, Odasaku was killed. The next day, you left Port Mafia. You bombed my car.”

“What’re you saying?” Dazai paled, clenching and unclenching his fists.

“At twenty, the Armed Detective Agency found you. You joined them and started fighting against Port Mafia.”

“STOP IT!” Dazai yelled, helplessly. Atsushi and Kunikida looked away, but Chuuya didn’t even flinch. “I’d have never done that! That’s a lie! What are you lying for?”

“It’s the truth, stop bitching,” Chuuya replied flatly, “It’ already pathetic enough having to bring it up again.”

“I-”

“You know it is, you know it. Don’t you fucking lie to me.”

Dazai froze, feeling like the land under his feet had crumbled and he was falling into a bottomless pit of darkness.

Because Chuuya was right. He knew. Somewhere, maybe in his lost memories, he knew it was true.

But that didn’t make it possible, it didn’t give it sense.

How could he have ever done that?

“…why?” A broken whisper.

Chuuya covered his eyes with a hand as he threw back the head and let out a hollow laughter.

“You ask me? Shouldn’t I be the one demanding explanations? I was the one betrayed, you know?”

A stab to Dazai’s heart.

“I must have said something-”

“You needed a different life. You needed a more meaningful one, a free, warm life. A life better than the one we shared,” Chuuya bitterly replied, trying to keep his voice steady. He didn’t want to go through that. Not again. He wasn’t sure he could survive it another time.

Dazai helplessly stared at him, without any word to say, any solution to fix things.

He didn’t know what had changed, he didn’t know why he had done that. But he was there now, trying to keep his shattered heart together.

“I-I need the- I-” he tried to smile, “Come on Chuuya, you know me, I’m Mafia through and through. Being with the good guys? Don’t you remember how we’ve met? Something must be wrong. Let me stay, I’ll fix everything.”

He stepped closer to his former partner, and Chuuya made the mistake of meeting his eyes.

Ah, that look again.

Hopeful and alluring, ready to do everything to stay with him.

Chuuya inhaled sharply and forcefully hardened his own heart.

“Bring him back,” he muttered to Kunikida, “I’ll let you go for this time.” Without a second glance, he turned on his heels and walked away, followed by the guards.

“What? Chuuya! No!”

Kunikida tried to grab Dazai’s arm, but the man pushed him to the ground. Desperately, he lunged and grabbed Chuuya by the shoulder, forcibly turning him.

“Daz-“

The man pressed his lips against his.

Chuuya froze, his mind shortcutting and his heart imploding at once.

Emotions he thought he had killed long ago took over him.

Those lips were so familiar, soft, teasing and possessive. His body recognized the way those arms circled his waist and adapted perfectly to his shape. The rough fingers through his hair. The furious beating of that heart against his chest.

He remembered everything with excruciating vividness. Everything.

Dazai let him go, keeping their foreheads against each other.

“…I don’t know what happened,” he whispered, out of breath, “But I love you right now, I love you.”

And everything in Chuuya’s shattered to pieces.

Because he could see it. After years of denying and trying to forget, of regretting, of yearning…he was seeing that love once again. As if nothing had ever changed.

Dazai did love him.

But it was late.

“I know you did,” he whispered back, raising a hand to cup his cheek, “I knew.” He couldn’t help but show a trembling smile.

Something akin to hope shone in Dazai’s eyes.

“But this is nothing more than the shadow of a sweet memory, and you’ll soon remember why. I’m sorry, Osamu.”

“Ch-”

Chuuya hit him hard, a single blow.

The final stab to his own heart.

Dazai dropped unconscious into his trembling arms.

Immediately, Atsushi and Kunikida rushed to take him.

No one of them said a word, but they respectfully nodded as a thank you and quickly lifted Dazai’s body on their shoulders.

Without moving of an inch, Chuuya watched them walk away until they disappeared from his sight.

“You can go. Not a word. Or I’ll kill you personally.”

The men literally vanished.

Chuuya remained there alone, staring at the dark, thundering sky until the rained started falling.

Only then, with drops mercifully streaming down his face, he let the tears fall.1