#given how he grew up i dont think he really learned properly but he probably at least learned the simple stuff

[moonpaw]

luffy CAN read, we rarely ever see it but he can at least read short and simple things

(but there's several scenes of him asking nami to read something more complex like a newspaper, nolands journal, ect, so he probably can't read more complex or longer sentences?)

[vintage-marina]

A woman out of time chapter 5

TW: talking about death of a loved one

wordcount: 2628 words

You left his cabin and stood outside on the deck of the Dauntless, the Navy men who took you to the Commodore were ahead of you and showed you your bedroom for the following weeks or maybe even months. They didn't look really excited for you, maybe it was misogyny, maybe they still thought you were a pirate, maybe they thought that a woman on a ship would bring misfortune or maybe a mix of all three.

Hopefully they didn't saw your red eyes that would signal that you were on the verge to cry but even if they noticed it they didn't said anything. You were lead to below deck and to a small room.  Thankfully it had a door with a lock and the three Navy men went away after they gave you a foul look, you ignored it and stepped inside. The room was little and smelled a lot better then the cell you were in, it had a small bed and a desk in it. You stepped further into the room and you saw that on your bed laid two bundles of clothing, one for sleeping and one for during the day. The sleeping wear was a simple cotton shift that went to your knees and the other bundle was an old looking outfit from the Navy, possibly from a retired Navy man. You folded the clothes and walked to the desk, it didn't had any engravings like the Commodore had but it was bare and reminded you of home. Home, you really wanted to go home again, to see your friends but most of all you wanted to see your parents and your sibling again, not that they were alive. You shooked your head and focused on your surroundings again, on the desk laid a bowl with water and a cotton cloth. You walked towards your door and locked it.

You took of your combat shoes, you stripped from your green leather suit that had safety straps and pieces of vibranium on it and took of your gloves with your ring on it. The suit you layed on the chair by your desk, the heavy shoes with a steel nose shoved you under the desk and the gloves with your ring you layed on the desk itself. You unclasped your sport bra and slid on the shift, it was comfortable. Until now you realised how sore your muscles were and you stretched yourself and gave a spin to your vibranium arm. It gave a loud mechanical sound and you widened your eyes in surprise, maybe that wasn't the best idea. You hoped that nobody heard that strange sound and you walked fast towards your new bed, you laid your new clothes on your suit and stepped inside your bed. If somebody did hear that you could always say: ''huh I didn't hear any sounds, maybe you were imagining that. I was asleep.''

You tossed a few times around and your eyelids grew heavy, nobody stormed inside of your room and it was safe to say that nobody heard you. The ship rocked gently on the waters and with that you felt asleep.

A few hours later

You woke up somewhat refreshed and cleaned your face with the cloth and the water that was given to you. You tried to pull back your hair but without a mirror you couldn't see anything so you could only guess that it looked okay-ish. The Caribbean weather was really hot and although you couldn't leave your beloved suit, you had to. You were sweathing in that thing and you possibly would die of a heathstroke. You slipped of the shift and you put on your sport bra. With the same cloth you washed your body and you took the Navy outfit from the chair, you changed into the white pants, buttoned up a white blouse with white cuffs and above that you wore a white waistcoat. You took the red coat off the chair and swung it on your shoulders. The uniform didn't fit properly, the pants were to long, it was a little bit tight by your hips and the blouse was to oversized. What really comfortable was but it did look a bit weird with your waistcoat above it, but luckily the coat was fine. Your shouders and arms weren't to big for them and it sat really nice on your shoulders. You snatched your gloves off the desk and put it on, your ring went into your pocket and you stepped outside your room.

Outside of your room you could hear the coughing, the mumbeling and groaning of some of the men. Probably in a room where nobody could see them, but before you went to them you needed to retrieve your medpack. On the way you were still asking yourself why Jack Sparrow so familiar was, but you couldnt put your finger on it. You walked on the chairs but with each step you were hoping that your pants didn't rip. Outside on the deck, you felt your face tinteling Your face from the sun and you sniffed the salty sea air in your lungs. Men were working on the deck  but you didn't see James, maybe in his cabin then. Your boots were loud on the wooden deck and you maked your way to his cabin. You knocked a few times on his door to alert him and you stepped inside. It looked like he was about to leave, his posture straight. But when he eyed you his posture went even more stiff. His face fell, like he didn't want you to be here and he didn't meet your Y/E/C eyes, instead he looked at the door that was behind you. You really did hurt him huh? You shuffeled uncomfortable with your feet and clasped your hands behind your back.

''I uh.. I'm here to retrieve my medpack Commodore.'' He gave a tight lipped smile but didn't say anything instead he only gave you your medpack. You gave a soft thank you and you made your way out.

Infirmary

There were circa 10 men in the makeshift hospital and a men fussing about them. The boat was rocking on the waters and some of them were emptying their stomachs in a wooden bucket because of it. You could see the sweat on their foreheads and the yellow puss on their bandages, the smell was disturbing and it made you almost gag. Sympathy washed over you, they were in pain and the medicine from the 18th century didn't help them either. The medic stood over a sickly looking man, dabbing a cotton cloth on the man his stomach.

''Here, let me do it,'' you walked towards the two men and you took the cloth out of his hand. ''How peculiar,'' mumbeled he under his breath, but he didn't protest like you expected. You opened your medpack and picked a bottle of desinfectant handgel. The man who was laying on his bed was eyeing you curiosley but didn't had the energy to ask, the other men were or sleeping or zoning into nothing.

''Before you are going to treat the patient it is necessary to wash your hands with soap or disinfect them, otherwise bacteria can spread to the patient and any further damage must be avoided-'' he nodded but he said: ''what do you mean with that?''

You poured a bit of gel on your hands and on the surgeon, but he looked weirdly at the substance on his hands ''sorry I thought you knew of Leeuwenhoek's his discovery-'' ''ofcourse I heard about his theory, it is absurd!'' ''It's not! Just rub that gel in your hands alright?''

In your medpack were laying handgloves, you picked two and tossed them towards the man. ''Here wear this, clean hand gloves can help against cross contamination. With cross contamination you can spread bacteria from products on other products. ''

You looked up from your medpack towards the surgeon, ''I'm surprised that you don't even argue with me, why?'' He looked surprised at your comment, ''To be honest, I do not really know why. You are talking about things that I never heard off and it makes me wonder if I really have knowledge in what I do. But I still think that bacteria thing is absurd!'' You laughed a bit at his ridiculousness.

''I do think you have knowlegde in your profession, doctor-'' ''Thomas Smith.'' ''Doctor Smith, but I also think that you can learn so much more, so let me show it to you.''

During the rest of your day you showed him how to clean infected wounds, the weather was cooler and you could see the relieve on the men of the faces. You told him tips and tricks how to treat infected wounds, like with sterile honey and how you should wash your hands and your equipment. He got your name and it was pleasant to work with him, he didn't make stupid comments like some of the pigs on this ship and he asked questions when he didn't get something.

''Preferably we like to disinfect our equipment with special substances, but I see that you do not have that and I can't get it for you, so listen very carefully. You can disinfect your equipment with gin or wodka. The alcohol in those two drinks will break down the bacteria, you got me?'' He nodded, ''but you need it to rest it for a whole day. Other ways are to boil your equipment in boiling hot water, bake your equipment or heat up your equipment under a flame. Further everything should be clean your hands, your clothing, the room itself, just everything. And you need to wash your hands regularly and pick new handgloves, dont touch your head or anything with your freshly washed hands otherwise you need to clean it again.''

The two of you were treating the wounded and you couldn't help but to notice how sick some of them were looking, they probably were going to die with the lack of medication that you had. But you did everything that you could do.

It was dinner time and you made sure that Thomas was cleaning his hands afterwards you did too. He looked at you nervous, like he was afraid to say something.

''Y/N-'' ''yes?'' ''Do you think they will make it?'' You looked towards the ground, your eyes not meeting with his. You noticed that some of them were looking bad, like they were on their death trial. ''Some of them, but I'm also afraid that some of them will not make it, 'm sorry. I don't have much medicine left,'' he nodded, his mood getting more depressing. ''All we can do is treating their wounds and making sure that they eat well and let them live their remaining days in peace.''

The two of you were making your way through the mess hall and into the kitchen.  There were already men eating their food in peace, you saw that they stuck by their rank. The Navy men were still giving you dirty looks but you also could see a glimpse of desire in some of them. Disgusted by their behaviour you maked sure that at all times you were alert. Coming into the kitchen you fetched the food that the cook had made for them, it was vegetable soup with pieces of chicken in it.

Thomas and you both had two bowls in your hands and were walking towards the infarmary, in the mess hall you couldn't spot James so you thought he was in his cabin. The men were chattering and there was a gleeful aura. But that couldn't say the same about you or Thomas, oh how they don't know. It wasn't like you were sad or anything but you felt helpless, they really could have lived if only they had the right medication. In Thomas his eyes tears were forming and you could see his lip tremble. Arriving in the makeshift infirmary you set down the bowls of soup by each nightstand and repeated your action untill everyone had gotten their food.

An old man was sitting up in his bed, he picked up his food from his nightstand and tried to eat it. He picked up the spoon with shaking hands and you saw that he spilled some on his shirt.

''Sir, let me help you,'' you walked towards the man and sat on the empty spot of his mattress.

''You know, when I got my shaking my wife helped me. But after her death,'' tears were falling on his cheeks. ''After her death, I was on my own and it has gotten worse. I really miss her.'' choked he out. ''I understand, it has gotten lonely isn't it?'' You took the bowl from the man and feeded him, ''yes it really is.''

''The loneliness is not so bad when I'm around these boys, you know? You get distracted easily, you chatter or you you're doing your job. But when you and your thoughts are alone, you're going to think and think. And then you're thinking about your loved one, how you miss them or what their voice was like and then you are suddenly aware that they are really dead and not just upstairs or something, you know? You get reminded of your loneliness and you get reminded that you can never speak to them ever.''

''I completely understand what you're saying sir.''

he didn't say anything for a couple of minutes, after he finished his soup you gave a light squeeze in his hand.

''You lost a loved one too?''

''Yes sir, multiple.''

''I'm sorry for your loss'' he said to you and he gave a light squeeze into your vibranium hand, just like what you did to him earlier. He didn't noticed that he gripped metal or if he did he didn't said anything about it.

''Thank you sir. You too.''

''You can call me Gary,'' he gave you a reassuring smile.

''Okay Gary, you can call me Y/N.'' and you smiled back.

You stood up from his bed and you walked over to Thomas, he was feeding another patient of yours.  he was sitting on a bed and you kneeled beside him and whispered: ''Thomas I'm gonna find the Commodore and I'm gonna inform him about the statics.''

''Alright,'' you heard him softly whisper to you. You took the stairs and walked towards the deck of the Dauntless, on the furthest point of the ship you could spot two people discussing things with each other. The more you closed the distance the more you noticed the figure of the Commodore.

''Commodore?''

The two turned around and James noticed the raggy old Navy suit that you had on.

''Yes?''

''We need to talk it's about your men.''

''I will let you two alone then,'' said Groves to the both of you and maked sure to leave.

''Y/N, what is wrong with my men?''

You were mulling about how you should say it, but it was for the best that you said it straight forward.

''Some of them are not gonna make it, they are gonna die in a few days and sadly there's nothing to prevent this.''

His face fell and you could see the cracks of emotion through his awkwardly stiff posture.

''There's nothing? Have you looked into our medicine shelve?''

''Yes I have, but most of them are highly addictive and don't kill what needs to be killed.''

He deeply sighed and runned a hand over his face.

''Have you told them?''

''No I did not, I'm planning to.''

He excused himself out of the conversation and walked downstairs having a last conversation with some of his crew.

[oikawasass]

Oh boy I saw boyfriend hc with Iida, so would it be okay to ask for hc for Bakugo, Midoriya and Todoroki as boyfriends? 💞

general relationship headcanons.

‣ pairing : bakugo, todoroki, midoriya x fem reader. (separate)

‣ headcanons.

‣ warnings : swearing, nsfw topics.

Bakugo Katsuki.

bakugo would be an amazing boyfriend and you cannot convince me otherwise.

things are never boring with this mf.

everyone knows bakugo wouldn’t date someone if he didn’t truly have a strong attraction to them or if he didn’t really know them, so right off the bat, there’s quite a bit of trust in your relationship.

fighting :

arguments are a given in a relationship with bakugo, so be prepared to scuffle.

and be prepared for those scuffles to turn into lots of screaming and yelling.

bakugo doesn’t like to fight or argue with you, he doesn’t enjoy it one bit. it’s just… bakugo.

he isn’t one to instantly go and apologize right away once he feels bad or realizes he may have been in the wrong, but after some stubbornness and ignoring, he’ll try to bring himself to some kind of an apology, or try to find some kind of a way to make amends, so be patient with him pls.

gifts :

when it comes to gifts, bakugo isn’t a huge gift giver. he isn’t the type to just buy you something if it reminded him of you.

plus you already have him so what other gifts could you need.

but he will buy you nice things on important events. birthdays, holidays, anniversaries and such. he bought you matching promise rings on your one year.

“tch, dont look so happy. this is just a place holder till I get to put a real ring on your finger.”

and you teased him about him saying something so soft to no end.

dates :

you two don’t do the whole fancy uptight dates thing.

movie nights, late-night park walks and study/workout dates are the move for you two.

if you’re not actually going anywhere, then you just like to sit in either of your dorms and cuddle and talk about whatever random topics come to mind. expect lots of play fighting too.

cuddling / physical attention :

cuddling? bakugo touch-starved-baby katsuki is his name.

early into your relationship, he won’t be too keen on being clingy or super cuddly as he’s too tsundere and a teeny bit awkward.

but once you’ve hit that comfortable mark of a few weeks or a month, he will be on that shit.

growing up without very much sweetness or softness showed towards him, once he’d experienced it with you, he was addicted.

big spoon or die. except for when he’s sleepy.

he’s the type of boyfriend that when you guys are just chilling in your dorm, he’ll just

smack your ass, grab your ass, appreciate from afar (rarely,) pat it and play the drums on it.

he’s just an ass man.

not much pda, but he’s always got your hand held tightly in his or an arm around you while you walk through the halls.

kissing :

he love love loves to kiss your lips. somethin’ about your soft and plush ones up against his own just makes his heart feel a certain tenderness.

kiss his cheeks or nose in public and watch how red his face goes. then watch him pout about it and ignore your requests for smooches for a little until he starts wanting them too.

long and heated make-outs with you straddling his lap are his favourite.

sexual aspects :

you two most likely won’t wait until you’re older to be sexual, as long as you’re okay with it then so is katsuki.

but he’ll wait until you’re ready for anything like that, he doesn’t want to force you into anything. he most likely won’t be ready himself until at least 7 or so months into the relationship.

it comes down mostly to his quirk and him not wanting to hurt you.

but once you two have had your first time, expect many more. I imagine katsuki has quite the high libido.

Todoroki Shoto.

you two would have such a sweet relationship.

he grew up without feeling very loved or cherished, and you were the first to ever show him such feelings and emotions.

it takes him a while to learn to properly embrace or accept them? but once he does, all is lovely.

you’d have to really… impress todoroki for him to catch some kind of feelings for you. not strength or looks wise, but with your personality. so there’s hardly doubt when it comes to shoto’s adoration for you.

fighting :

fights with shoto don’t happen often. and when they do, they aren’t super nasty or loud. I can imagine they’d only happen over large disagreements or worries between you two.

when the fights are bigger, he’ll take some time to give the both of you a chance to cool down, and then try his best an apology.

he doesn’t like to fight at all. it makes some bad childhood memories resurface for him as expected, so you both try your best to avoid it. alas, it’s inevitable in relationships, unfortunately. but you two manage surprisingly well.

gifts :

will genuinely buy you the whole world if you pout enough. he cannot resist a pout.

he constantly buys you sweet little gifts! which were probably way too expensive, but it’s not his credit card anyway right?

if he sees something he thinks you would enjoy or that reminds him of you, cha ching $$ there’s more money out of endeavor’s bank account. you deserve anything and everything that will make you smile!

dates :

similar to bakugo, I feel as if you two wouldn’t do the whole fancy dates thing. unless you want to! then he’s all for it.

but you two much prefer to go to cafe’s or smaller, cuter and less populated restaurants. gotta maintain the cute couple aesthetic.

coffee and tea dates! library dates! park dates! sightseeing! allat cute jazz you see people on the gram do and go “aw i wish.”

cuddling / physical affection :

he loves to cuddle you. having you peacefully and safely wrapped up in his arms is his favourite activity, he wouldn’t give it for the world.

it took him a little bit to get to the point of seeking your arms for comfort or becoming touch starved when he hasn’t seen or hugged you in a little bit, but he got there pretty quick.

could cuddle you and listen to you ramble about your interests and views for hours. he loves the sound of your voice calmly filling his ears.

I imagine once you get to a certain point in your relationship, he can be a pretty silly boyfriend. so expect random butt pats and smacks at random times when you’re alone.

kissing :

todoroki loves to kiss your forehead. it’s such a sweet, yet almost protective action. not to mention the way your cheeks turn pink when he does it makes his heart flutter.

you are baby in his eyes. so expect lots and lots of forehead and top of your head kisses.

but he loves to kiss your lips just as much! sweet kisses and soft make outs™

shoto isn’t a huge pda person, but if you enjoy it then hes totally down. he’ll give you sweet kisses and hold you hand everywhere you go.

sexual aspects :

I imagine you two would most likely wait until you were older, but only your second or third year.

it just comes down to you both making sure you’re ready, and i see that being after you two have been together for at least a year and a half. sorry thirsty shoto stans.

I dont imagine him being a very sexual person either, so waiting isn’t a problem for him.

Midoriya Izuku.

my ANGEL. my small tiny angel. god he would be such an adorable and sweet boyfriend and you can’t deny.

he’s just so?? infatuated with you?? you’re so incredible to him?? he adores everything about you.

you never have to doubt izuku’s intentions or morals and you rarely feel insecure about this relationship. he makes sure to let you know how much he cherishes you.

fighting :

a rarity. he absolutely hates to fight with you, and he’s sure that it ends up physically hurting him when you argue. he feels his precious little heart crack.

only happens when there’s big disagreements or issues that get addressed. if you made a reckless decision that got you hurt during a fight, expect him to be upset.

he just worries about you and prioritizes your well being, so be patient with him.

100% will be the first to apologize almost every time, but not without some silent treatment coming from both sides. you both just need time to cool off and gather your thoughts, and he knows that.

gifts :

the sweetest gift giver!

he loves the reaction he gets when he buys you flowers and cute stuffed animals for no particular reason.

on aniversaries he buys you beautiful bracelets and necklaces, he got you guys promise rings for your one year too!

dates :

once more…no super fancy dates or anything. he’ll spoil you in other ways! mainly cause he doesn’t think he could sit still in a formal setting with you without being a blushing mess.

you two love to go for walks down town, window shopping and stopping in certain stores, grabbing coffee and such.

if it’s the fall or winter and you go out, are you sure you aren’t cold? you can have his jacket. and his scarf. and his hat. no just take them, he doesn’t want you to get sick. just take the damn scarf.

or just going by random food stands in town! ramen, sushi, katsudon, you’ve gotten it all. don’t be surprised of mido has a little notebook of food stand ratings.

cuddling / physical affection :

okay it took him a little longer than expected to comfortably cuddle and kiss you without his face going beat red or his shoulders tensing up.

it’s not like he doesn’t enjoy it! he’s just very very shy and you’re very very cute.

he still blushes and gets shy at affection, but he’s able to ignore it by now. he realized that he enjoyed hugging your waist and burrying his head in your soft locks way more than getting shy and being distant.

pda… he tries. he wants to be able to kiss you and your adorable face in public but he’s a shy baby. so the most you’ll do is link pinkies when you walk down the halls and kiss his cheeks between classes.

kissing :

he loves. LOVES. to kiss your cheeks. he’ll place the sweetest most chaste kisses on your cheeks all the time.

when he’s feeling extra bold he’ll pepper them in small and quick little smooches.

loves to kiss your lips, but he can’t for too long or his face is literally red hot and he starts to overheat …

took you a little longer than most to get to the making out stage, and even now they’re still very short and sweet.

sexual aspects :

100% will wait until you’re both older to even try to be sexual. it’s just not very present in the boys mind until you age a bit more.

I mean it took him over two months to be able to casually kiss you without dying, imagine what would happen if he tried bringing his mini mido anywhere near you before he was sure he could do it.

switch.

midoriya isn’t a very sexual person in general, so it most likely won’t be a huge aspect in your relationship anyway, which you’re both fine with because you love eachother in other ways.

[simpmeon]

Lilith Head Cannons

Just some random headcannons I have about Lilith and her personality and interactions with the other characters. Might do a part two if I can come up with more. Sorry if they're all scrambled I literally was like "thought. Thumbs. Post." Djdjjdjd enjoy. Also!!! If you want to add more to the post feel free and remember that this is not cannon, just my opinion on her character, or really her absence of one.

General Head Cannons

I like to think she also was an artist, especially sculpting and painting. She loved the statues of the ancient Greek Gods and would often try to mimic them to look like her father or her brothers. She was also there for the renaissance and fell in love with the style of the time and would paint beautiful portraits of her family that would hang on the walls. In her room dedicated to her in Devildom, there are paintings of flowers that I would like to believe that she painted.

A master storyteller. She would tell all the brothers stories that she would make up on spot before bed. It started as a cute toddler thing, her babbling nonsense for hours before they all went to sleep, but it soon became a thing that neither of the brothers could fall asleep properly without having a story told to them. Soon the useless babbling told into brave and riveting tales that would take hours to tell, and by then Belphie was guaranteed to be the first to fall asleep.

After the fall, all of the brothers could not go to sleep, not because of persisting nightmares, but because their little sister was not there to tell them a story

She's a great fighter. At first she learned basics in case her overprotective big brothers werent there to protect her, but soon she was on par with some of the top fighters in all of the Celestial Realm. She even managed to knock Lucifer down in mid air combat, despite being the strongest physically. This came in handy when her brothers would get into fights and she would often play middle man and have to physically pull them apart and toss them across the room.

She was the fastest out of all of them. Mammon is canonically the fastest out of the current demon bros, but when him and Lilith played tag, you could barely see anything besides the blur of wings. She has outran him several times and often managed to duck out of lectures from her oldest brother simply by just taking off.

She loved to bake and cook for her brothers a lot and often taught some of the newer apprentices the archangels favorite recipies so that they can prepare it for them. She loved teaching them because she would often fill the waiting time with embarrassing stories about her brothers and the archangels. ("No Luci I dont know where they learned that your drool in your sleep...")

Fiery personality, which was often her savior and her doom. She took no nonsense from anyone, rather they be a random demon, an archangel, her own brothers, or even her father. If she didn't like something that was said or a decision that was being made she would not hesitate to speak her mind no matter what the consequences were.

Insanely smart because of all the times she would spend in the Celestial Realms many libraries. No one would peg her to be the studious one out of the bunch, but she just found all the information fascinating. However, just because she is book smart she lacks common sense and street smarts which proves itself when she placed her hand in fire because "she wanted to see what it felt like". Many people think the scars on her body are from battles, but in reality its because she decided she wanted to be her own personal test subject, no matter how dangerous they would be. ("Hey Luci do you think I could bite through selenite?" "Lilith nO-" )

Asks "Can this kill a human?" a lot and to newer angel's it sounds like shes plotting to take a humans life, but to those used to her antics they would just sigh and respond with a "Yes Lilith" or "No Lilith that can not kill a human."

Snorts when she laughs. Theres no other explanation I just feel that she does. Full belly laughs in private, sweet delicate laugh in public to play up her delicate fragile flower persona that she hated so much.

Just like how I feel like she scrunches her nose up when she gets angry and how she will literally get right up in Lucifers face whenever he pisses her off, no matter what protests she hears from her brothers.

Lucifer 

I like to believe that, like Lucifer, she was attracted to the piano. Lucifer would often be playing melodies in the sun room in the Celestial Realm and Lilith would always be the one to find him first. He taught her how to play and even if she just banged on the keys, Lucifer still found her endearing. As she grew older though, the two of them became the best piano players in all of the realm. Didn’t help that she was also regarded as one of the best singers in the entire realm too.

Loved helping Lucifer and Belphie in organizing and categorizing notes from their father that day. She would often make it a game where they would pick their favorite event from that day both as a way to see if they were actually reading the documents being given to them, and as a way to discuss her and Belphies favorite subject with their big brother.

Her and Lucifer were often regarded as the Jewel and Flower of the Celestial Realm. They were both undeniably gorgeous, not that her brothers werent all gorgeous, but her and Lucifer were often pegged as the most beautiful out of all the siblings.

Both put under undeniable amounts of stress and would often seek to reconcile each other because of it. Lucifer was an archangel and their fathers right hand man, and with Lilith being the only daughter fromt heir father and because of that also having a reputation to uphold as being a mediator, the two of them would often find one another in the arms of each other after a particularly bad day, whether that be Lilith just hugging Lucifer and stroking his hair or Lucifer just having Lilith lay on him as she took a nap.

However their titles came with double edged swords. He often was found reprimanding her for possibly tarnishing her reputation because she would often get caught up in her brothers tricks and pranks. They would often butt heads, but as much as he hated to admit it sometimes, most of the time she was right. She was the only one who could wrangle apologies out of him.

Lucifer often treated Lucifer like she was fragile and that really pissed her off. Whenever she would come back with new scratches and bruises he would often reprimand her for tarnishing her beauty and would have to convince their father to not punish her because of it. She hates being treated like that but knows better than to tell Lucifer that he was being overbearing.

Mammon

Mammon was 100% the brother who didnt want a little sister until he got one.

Super cuddly with Mammon. In her early years Mammon was often the one who who she would just snuggle up into and fall asleep on, besides when she went to bed at night with Beel and Belphie. He would just be chilling on a couch after a days worth of work and suddenly would have a tiny baby foot stepping on his cheeks trying to get comfortable on his chest. Soon that's just how they would fall asleep together. Although Mammon would always deny that she wasnt cute whenever his brothers would catch them napping together and how he protectively held her.

Mammon was also the brother to try to use Lilith’s cuteness to woo people and definitely had her in those chest baby carriers whenever he went out of the house.

Lilith was really the only one would dote on him and treat him like a role model and he lived for every second of it. "The Great Mammon" nickname actually came from Lilith whenever she and Mammon would be playing with some dolls whenever she was younger and she called him that after her other brothers refused to play with her.

Mammon and her were the mischief causing duo. Lucifer quickly learned not to leave those two alone after her came home one day and found the two of them covered in flour and melted chocolate after they attempted to make cookies together. The mess was not what concerned Lucifer the most, but rather the fact that the oven looked like it caught on fire in the process. 

Her favorite person to play with because he was rough with her and almost as quick as she was, so games like tag and duck duck goose always melted into a high speed chase between the both of them. They were also highly competitive with each other and would often try to one up each other.

Can’t beat the one time Mammon managed to swipe the spell to make animals and decided to make one of toddler Lilith’s funny looking animal drawings an actual animal for her. Both Lucifer and God did not appreciate the sudden swarms of what Lilith dubbed “Platypus” running around the Earth, but God is a weak man and when he tried to chastise Mammon, she started crying about how he was a good older brother for making her drawing come to life and God let them stay.

He was probably the one she was closest to besides Beel and Belphie. Even though she would go to Lucifer for more deeper philosophical conversations, it was rare to see her not in Mammons room after a stressful day. He and Asmo were the dedicated ranting brothers because both of them would hype her up. Mammon was still her favorite person to snuggle up to and nap on. She would never admit that to Belphie but it was true. Mammon was just always so warm and comforting that she would go out of her way to snuggle up and watch movies with him.

Of course she was also the kind of sister who would throw popcorn at him from across the room, steal his clothes while he was showering, and blame petty things like stealing cookies on him. Their fights were never more than senseless bickering that would often lead to them calling each other names, but god forbid if any other angel agreed with the insults. The chances of having a fist connect with their face just increased, especially if it's one of their other brothers.

Levi

Levi probably was the one with the weakest bond with her out of all his brothers. He felt jealous how she would usually seek out the others before she came to him, but on the days where she would seek him out they would waste the entire day together. Levi’s tendency to love games started when he and Lilith would pass time playing chess and checkers. They would constantly challenge each other and every game had new tricks. 

Levi always had an obsessive personality and Lilith was always the one to stand up for him and even got him things to help with it, for example he was really into sea creatures at the time and so Lilith made him a clay sculpture of a whale and the boy nearly lost his mind. She never made fun of him. 

Most people who knew him as the crazy otaku would never peg him to be the chess mastermind but he could beat Lucifer ten times over from across the House of Lamentation with his eyes closed because of her. 

Her and Levi also were master strategists. She and Levi's pranks were so elaborate and so well thought out that Lucifer himself would be caught off guard. Sometimes it would be something as simply as moving everything in Lucifers room an inch to the right so he could stub his toe on his furniture and other times it would be slowly replacing people in the intricate paintings on the ceilings in the Celestial Realms cathedrals with poorly paintings of rubber ducks. Simeon when he came to Devildom still talks about how hes still finding some to this day.

Loves making Levi laugh. She would play whatever games with him to make him laugh. He would actually be the one to bathe baby Lilith because he would constantly make shapes and creatures in the water to entertain her. He treasures those moments in the giant bathtub just making horses and other animals out of water.

As she got older, it went from the bathtub to fountains. Lilith could be found tending the garden and suddenly would feel something wet by her hand and realize that an animal made of water just brushed against her and it always made her smile because it meant that Levi was near.

Because he was in charge of the Earths oceans, he was rarely home. When his father said that they have to keep an eye out on all creatures he didn't realize he meant ALL creatures. On particularly bad days where he was missing his family, he would always contact Lilith. Lilith always had time for Levi and even if she didnt she would make the time. He would tell her all about the marine life and how the water felt and Lilith always made sure to keep track of his discoveries in her various notebooks. Because their time together was often limited, Levi couldnt help but feel a tinge of bitterness towards his brothers.

Satan

Even though Satan never physically met Lilith, she was quite troublesome for him. Whenever Lucifer was about to go on a rampage, Lilith was always the one to calm Lucifer down. Even if the rage was directed at her, she always managed to calm Lucifer down and have him think rationally.

Satan knows the most about humans only because of the distant memories of Lilith talking Lucifers ear off about humans.

Even though he never physically learned to play the piano, he knows how to play both Lucifers and Liliths melodies by heart from hearing them both so much. Whenever Satan is restless he'll often play Liliths melodies on the piano to calm him down.

The only thoughtful gift he ever gave his brothers was a book of all the stories he could remember Lilith telling them. He claims it's because he wanted Lucifer to feel irreconcilable sadness when reading them, but its truly because whenever he was having a flare up of wrath he would go out of his way to find the book and read the stories to calm down.

Even after her death and after he sprang to creation, Lilith was still one of the only people to calm him down.

Asmo

She loved to play princess with Asmo. She would be a little bossy towards him, but he just adored the fact that he was the one who would braid her hair and blush her cheeks.

He always made sure to be front row for her “fashion” shows and as she got older and more interested in art, he was always the first to volunteer for her to practice anatomy.

He would always take the time out of his day to paint her nails all sorts of pretty colors, her favorite shade being lavender. He was in charge of keeping the Celestial Realm beautiful, and he couldnt let one of his fathers treasures be nothing short of beautiful at all times. Lilith didnt mind because it just meant that her and Asmo could vent together.

Asmo and Lilith have a garden in the Celestial Realm. Technically, they're in charge of all the gardens, but the two of them have a very specific garden dedicated just to the two of them. Their father has very strict rules about what flowers grew where in the realm, but Lilith and Asmo's garden had pink and yellow roses, amaryllis's, tulips, blue bonnets, fox gloves, hibiscus's you named them they had them all in their garden. There were several statues made by Lilith and Asmo even risked getting his fingernails dirty in order to install a beautiful stone archway with a bench. It was like their own oasis just for them. They would have afternoon tea in their garden, gossip about the archangels, even talk about how cute some of the angels are turning out as they grew up.

Like Levi, he also rarely got chances to spend time with Lilith, and if they did have time together it was only for about an hour before one of the angels would just whisk her away to finish a task, but sometimes late at night he would find her in the garden reading a book or tending to the plants.

Would design most of her Celestial Realm outfits or put together her outfits for the day. Paint her nails and do her makeup the whole nine yards, seeing as she and her brother were the face of the Celestial Realm.

Beel & Belphie

They were probably the ones who saw Lilith the most. Not "The Delicate Flower of The Celestial Realm" Lilith, but Lilith herself, with her arms freshly covered in open wounds from combat training, dried paint streaked across her forehead, hair sticking to her forehead with sweat, and hands shaking and covered in blisters and bandages from her gripping her sword too tight.

They'd be the first of the brothers to know about her training, mainly because they caught her trying to tend to a wound on her shoulder blade and they would help her tend to the wound, mentally cursing Simeon for getting too close to her wings.

She was the most comfortable around those two. She would dress casually around them and would often indulge in her more unladylike tendencies because she knew they wouldnt judge her. In fact, Beel was often the one to lug her completed sculptures around the Celestial Realm and Belphie was always in her studio to watch her paint and sculpt.

Her and Belphie would often spend countless hours under the stars of the Celestial Realm just watching and observing the humans below. Her and Belphie would even disguise themselves to get more up close and personal with them.

Loved lazy afternoons where they would all fall asleep on top of each other with the warmth of the sun on their faces. Especially loved the post nap snacks and baked goods afterwards.

Favorite sparring partner was Beel because he knew he could give her his all and shed be able to strike him down. In fact how the rest of her brothers found out about Lilith being a skilled fighter is when they all rushed into the battle chambers and saw Lilith soar over Beel and then full force swing her leg around onto Beels stomach, sending him plummeting to the ground with a loud crash, followed by Lilith hovering in midair, blood trickling from her lips and her arms covered in fresh bruises. That was the first time she ever landed a hit on Beel and her brothers were there to realize that the Flower of The Celestial Realm was a double edged sword. Soon she was having routine sparring matches with her brothers, Simeon being her coach on how to take them down.

Her, Belphie, and Beel all shared a bedroom. Lilith had her own bedroom with her own bathroom, but spent more of her time with Beel and Belphie because that's where she felt the most comfortable. Belphie especially specialized in making sure she didnt have nightmares that night.

[jungnoir]

𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡!𝐛𝐭𝐬;

bts but as witches in a coven. discuss

𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐤𝐣𝐢𝐧: the supreme

ok not quite but he’s the most experienced in magic out of all the boys

his mother was a witch and she taught him everything he needed to know from birth to adulthood

his whole family is blessed with magic save for a few who didn’t get the gene but every family reunion they all dote on jin and talk about how powerful he’s become and how proud they are of him

the coven house where all of the boys stay is actually jin’s ancestor’s home from a long time ago

the place has brought up witches of all generations and jin was very eager to inherit it

while there’s definitely a lack of witches he’s been able to recruit, he loves his family of six so it doesn’t really bother him

he acts like he’s all serious but in reality he’s always casting spells on the youngins as tests (read: for fun)

jimin: why tf did you give me green skin

jin: if you had been paying attention during lessons you would know how to fix it :)

has definitely said this out of context more than once: ”any witch worth a broom handle knows how to get rid of poisonous snakes! you know back in my day…”

wears the flashiest outfits, but little do people know that they’re all homemade. he has a serious creative eye and seeks to make what simple human designers wish they could (taehyung is very eager to learn this talent from him)

goes all out on halloween with this talent too, creating uber realistic costumes

no he didn’t make a costume out of real human bones that year he went as a scarily realistic skeleton what are you talking about

no graves were robbed in the making of this outfit

if you couldn’t tell, his specialty is in glamours

honestly the guy should just tattoo “i’m a witch” across his forehead, he makes it so damn obvious

he openly practices magic too like it gives yoongi stress pains bc!! there’s still ppl who would very much like to burn witches still to this day!!! where is the self-preservation!!

jin doesn’t care. he’ll burn them right back. checkmate bitch

honestly charms anyone that comes in contact with him which is one of the things he never has to try at

the guys think he uses magic to do it but he’s honestly just, as jin would say, “born with it”

𝐲𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢: the right hand man

*namjoon voice* and who do we got here right now??? ˢᵘᵍᵃ!!!

when it comes to magic, yoongi is pretty neutral

an awfully interesting feeling to have given that seokjin has appointed him the heir of the coven in case anything happens to him

he’s not obsessed with magic like tae, hobi or kook

he doesn’t spend his time learning everything about it like namjoon

and he’s not playful with it like jimin and jin

yoongi just… acknowledges it. its like it exists as something he can do and he’s proud but he doesn’t really care if that makes sense

most of his friends outside of the coven are human too and he has no reservations about telling them what he is bc if they cause trouble he is more than prepared to take care of it

they’re usually like “wow so cool! i wish i was a witch” but yoongi really doesn’t care lmao

with or without magic, yoongi is the same: he loves music, he loves making music, and he loves being a musician

yoongi, however, is guilty of having used magic to make his music just right before

sometimes a note just doesn’t sit with him right and it’s driving him insane

or maybe the bass doesn’t hit hard enough

he charms his music in a way that when one listens to it, they feel exactly what yoongi wants them to feel

people are always telling him he has a real gift in music and while he most certainly does, he feels he has to give credit to his magic for helping him along sometimes

but then seokjin will be like “isn’t magic your talent too? aren’t you just exercising it when you charm your music? it’s not like you can only make music well. you should give yourself props for your magic too”

it’s just. weird to him because he’s seen how much magic can corrupt people in much higher positions than himself and it’s Terrifying

he wants to know that no matter what he makes, it’s his and his alone, not attributed to any otherworldly advantage

this just kind of contributes to his need to be as detached from magic as possible

he’s too cheap to buy one of those coffee makers that automatically start brewing at a certain time in the morning and just uses magic to do it instead

“yoongi do you want me to buy you a new coffee maker for your birthday? they have ones that do all the work for you now-” “no”

he has to be extra, okay namjoon

jimin teases him sometimes but yoongi knows it’s all out of love

jimin understands yoongi in a way, and while the others are always like “yoongi you should have more fun with your magic!” jimin is always like “no no no, let him be”

besides yoongi could probably smoke all of them in a battle of magic if it came down to it lol

𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐤: the perfectionist

HERE HE IS!!! ITS HE

hoseok is probably one of the most talented witches in the coven

hoseok is a perfectionist to a t so if he feels insecure about how he’s doing a certain spell he will do it over and over and over until he’s got it right which makes him a pretty formidable opponent

like even the boys wouldn’t go up against him bc they know they’re just gonna get their ass handed to them

he’s a sweetie tho and very light-hearted and he never lets his power get to his head

he mainly uses it to bother the others tbh

also uses magic to give himself and the boys cool ass hair colors

currently he’s obsessed with this orange he’s got going on

calls it “pumpkin spice” bc it angers yoongi

“it really brings out the burnt sunset hues of a pumpkin ya know? or like a mix of changing fall colors, like golden crisp and warm crimson” “it’s fucking orange” yoongi can be heard chiming in from somewhere else in the house

but don’t get me wrong, hoseok loves himself some yoongi and vice versa

yoongi taught hoseok directly bc yoongi was the one that found hoseok

he was just an average college student and wasn’t really finding a will to live outside of paying off his student debts

he didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life and was pretty dead inside, working at a cafe and serving coffee to other dead inside college students when yoongi came in and sensed his strong magical aura

yoongi kinda forced hoseok’s magic out of him by tossing a cup of steaming hot coffee to the floor, causing hoseok to freeze the entire cafe in time, save for the two of them. yoongi told him what he was and the rest was history

now that it’s been so long hoseok still gets upset that yoongi was willing to break one of the cafe’s mugs to prove a point

because of course, when time unfroze, the mug fuckin shattered all over the place what a fuckin jerk guess who’s going to have to clean that up does he really have no respect for retail workers seriou

seokjin also was opposed to yoongi’s method but since it resulted in hobi joining their coven, he can’t be too mad

it was hoseok’s natural ability that yoongi was able to help hone, and when hoseok found a love for it, he took it upon himself to be the absolute best witch he could be

hoseok’s power of stopping time is uniquely his own and he’s worked hard to perfect it

sometimes he just stops time to stop it

hob: *freezes a movie theater right before something dramatic happens on screen* hold on yall I gotta piss real quick

freezing time is also super helpful during *cough* stressful exams* cough*

𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐣𝐨𝐨𝐧: the scholar

he knows…. everything

not only did he do the reading, he did an 8 page analysis on it and corrected a few mistakes too

namjoon was aware of his witchy nature even from the moment he was a little kid, and his parents were both human and a bit scared for him since they didn’t know how to handle it, but they gave him the option of pursuing magic or not. they made sure to do all their own research into where witches could go to hone their craft just in case

in the end, namjoon grew curious and started reading books about magic and magical things

tho he didn’t actually start using his power until his mid teens

by then he was a bit shaky with it, but he knew a lot and was very determined so he got the hang of it very quickly

rarely uses his magic outside of it being necessary tho bc he’s gone so long without having to use it that he doesn’t rely on it for anything

he also likes to be independent from his magic in a way

while magic is very much a part of him and his being, he doesn’t want it to be like a crutch, you know? his biggest fear is losing his magic, bc he’s heard it can happen

he’s also aware that some witches lose important life skills and miss out on opportunities to build their character bc they’re so used to being able to just magic their way out of a situation

went from student to teacher real quick

teaches the other boys how to properly say incantations

“its levios-ah not levios-ar”

actually?? a pretty scary dude when it comes to using his magic for real

don’t put him in a situation where someone is getting hurt because he will not go easy on the aggressor. the other boys can attest to this too, having been saved by him far too many times than is acceptable in namjoon’s eyes

basically dont fuck with namjoon’s boys or u gon die

does cute things for the boys on their birthdays with magic

one time taehyung was sad that it wasn’t snowing on his birthday so namjoon made it snow for hours

may have fucked up the climate a lil bit

yoongi almost lost a toe

namjoon frequents a library and whenever a lil kid is struggling to reach a book he uses his magic to drift the book down to the little kid and when the kid looks at him in awe he just presses his finger to his lips and winks at them

flirts using his extreme wicca knowledge, of which is either a major turn off or a major turn on. you decide

𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧: the reluctant

jimin loves magic, but it wasn’t always like that

jimin kinda struggled with accepting his magical abilities at a young age bc he was really confused

like why wasn’t he just like everyone else? why did he have to be a witch? why did he have to have magic when he could’ve just been normal?

he often rejected it, never bothering to learn anything even to impress the family at reunions

but as he grew older, his parents grew worried he’d hate his magic and never use it again, putting him in a vulnerable position if his magic were ever to just come out when jimin isn’t in a place to control it, so they let him meet a slightly older witch that could help mentor him

his parents would’ve done it but jimin hardly ever listened to his parents about magic and they wanted to show him there were witches his age that were amazing people and embraced it, that it didn’t take away from jimin’s life but in fact added to it

in comes yoongi

yoongi, at first, really pities jimin

he understands the struggle between wanting to be normal and dealing with a part of his identity that won’t ever go away

where yoongi is concerned, that struggle for him was that he wanted to be himself regardless of being talented in magic. jimin... just hates it

but then jimin starts bashing magic and witches and he’s about to get angry at his parents for trying to force him into being a witch when yoongi just,,, slaps him upside the head

jimin’s shocked and yoongi is just like “respect your parents kid, they’re looking out for you. just because you don’t use your magic doesn’t mean people won’t know you’re a witch. its dangerous for a witch to go around with magic and not know how to use it”

jimin is shocked. he never thought of it that way

jimin feels embarrassed all of a sudden and apologizes and then yoongi cracks a smile and he’s like “no biggie kid, i’m just here to teach you the basics of magic and then i’ll be out of your hair”

jimin finds that learning magic with yoongi is really fun and soon he’s asking to be apart of the coven and embracing being a witch

he becomes carefree with it, like it’s another part of him, and he’s still kinda inexperienced, but he’s learning a lot from yoongi and namjoon

loves playing with temperature

the boys make him freeze their drinks for him, or ask him to heat up some popcorn while they’re all sprawled out on the couch on movie night bc no one feels like waiting two minutes for it to cook in the microwave

makes the water in the shower cold whenever one of the boys is taking way too fucking long in there which is Everyday

also jimin: *hitting on someone at the bar* *makes the room slightly warmer* “is it hot in here or is it just you?”

relates everything he learns back to naruto in some way, much to everyone’s complete and utter confusion

he just really kins the guy i guess

100% owns every single witch pun shirt known to man

“witch please” “witches do it better” “this is my resting witch face”

jungkook: by all means jimin why don’t you just burn us all at the stake yourself

it’s ok tho bc it’s his own little way of owning his identity, and if you want to avoid having your fingers frozen off, you’ll be sure not to step to him any kind of way

𝐭𝐚𝐞𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐠: the transcendent 

my favorite witch!!! i wrote this whole thing for him

tae is like jin in that his whole family is magical and he grew up surrounded by magic his whole life

in fact, he’s so familiar with magic that he’s kind of sick of it (no he isn’t (most of the time))

taehyung is unique with his magic bc he’s actually able to transcend realms oooh~

the information on how many realms and parallel universes and such are limited as hell so taehyung actively helps broaden that knowledge as he travels, a very Dangerous and Scary job to anybody else

but to him he’s like!! fuck yeah astral projection!

basically, he’s able to put himself into a deep sleep where he moves through different realms, some more or less magical than the others

he’s so good at it that he can project himself into someone else’s dreams too

he’s basically capable of seeing more than most magical beings, and he can perceive spirits easily, as well as being able to actually see a magical aura around someone

so for instance, if a witch who didn’t know they were a witch walked into a bar, he’d know what they were instantly. besides the general intuitive feeling that most witches get, he can see the auras physically, like swarming tendrils of smoke unique to every person

each aura feels and looks different than others which makes it easy for him to point out shape shifters and vampires and werewolves and all the other guys pretty easily

bc of this ability, taehyung also likes to mess with the boys like everyone else lol

“tae, i just saw the most beautiful-” “they’re actually an ogre in disguise” “WHAT”

“man my english teacher is a witch” “she actually is”

in case you couldn’t tell tae’s favorite victim is jungkook

casually tells people he’s a witch just for the #reactions

if you’re wondering, no. nobody in this coven cares about keeping this shit a secret

since he’s more sensitive to dreaming, a lot of his dreams leave him incredibly emotional because sometimes he really is there

he once had a dream where all magical beings were universally accepted in the world and were loved and happy and woke up sobbing into jimin’s lap

also nightmares take a HUGE toll on him so his sleep pattern is fucked for real

usually ends up eating cake with jin in the dining room at four am and talking about life together to get the nightmares off tae’s mind

tae uses his magic on humans in a different way. like he doesn’t prank them that much, but rather manipulates their moods. he tries to charm anyone he comes in contact with to make them happy or to make them giggly

he wants to use his magic for good, because it often leaves a very painful burden on him in turn

𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤: the prodigy

honestly i feel like if jungkook was a witch he’d probably be an underdeveloped one, you feel?

he finds out his power late bc either his family didn’t know (they’re all human) or they just didn’t tell him in hopes of him never becoming one

but jungkook is being bullied by some guys in his grade and they corner him after school one day and jungkook gets so frustrated that he just,,, makes them all start uncontrollably burping

as dumb as it is, those kids never bother jungkook again

when he does get a hang of it, jungkook probably uses his magic for fun more often than not

jungkook is recruited by jin for this very reason. he catches jungkook messing with old people at the park on his afternoon runs and he’s like this kid is such a brat. i want him

jungkook is SUCH a fast learner holy shit

he goes to namjoon for every little question, to the point where namjoon is positive he’s become a better witch simply because jungkook has prepared him for any fuckin scenario known to man

he also makes himself float upside down in the kitchen at night so when hoseok comes down for a glass of water he almost pisses himself

“haha did i scare you” 

cue hoseok making jungkook fall down as he mumbles “little shit” under his breath

halloween is his favorite time of year and he likes to pull harmless pranks on the kiddies while scaring the mean teenagers ruining all of the children’s fun

like he sees this guy in a deformed mask holding a plastic knife about to scare a little boy so Jungkook just gives the dude a wedgie with his magic

all the kids are laughing at him and jungkook just smirks

honestly he doesn’t like reading about magic as much as he likes just doing it from intuition/namjoon’s instruction. he’s a lot like hoseok in that he has a lot of natural talent but not a lot of proper training when he first starts honing his ability

since jin yoongi and namjoon are in charge of teaching magic they all hound on him like “did u do the reading”

jungkook maybe glosses over everything and then just over-performs as compensation

they get on him abt it but there’s no lying about it, jungkook is a strong witch on his own

he hasn’t gotten a special manifestation of his magic Just Yet but he only gets stronger as he goes. the more he applies himself, the stronger he grows

[theaetherwitch]

Ethics in Magick: A Gray Understanding

- from my grimoire

An Important Thing to Note

As preface to this article, i would like to say these are simply my own opinions. These opinions are based off my own experiences, and things that I have learned throughout the years. This article is meant to be thought provoking and informative, which can make it lean on the more controversial side. Morality and ethics are very complicated and very touchy. There are many ways to view the world around you and this is simply how I personally view things. Don’t ever feel like this is exactly how things are or how they are going to be, because it’s not. Gray doesn’t come in just one shade, it comes in many.

Everyone views the world around them differently, so take this article with a grain of salt.

Things are More Then They Seem

When talking about ethics in magick, it can be easy to see things in a very black and white manner, ie: good is good, and evil is evil. This is why we see terms like “White Witch” or “Black Magick”. At some point during the long history of The Craft, someone felt the need to draw a thick line between positive and negative aspects. If something is one way, then it must inherently have an opposite. The sun and moon, masculine and feminine, light and dark, black and white, yin and yang. These are all things that have a counterbalance with each other. But as time passes and ideals change, these aspects begin to meld to create something entirely different. The color gray, or as my covenmates like to say “Androgynous Energy”. Energy that is nothing and everything all at the same time. It is not good nor is it evil, it exists in a completely neutral state. And that’s where we’ll begin.

Evil Good, and Good Evil

I’d like to really delve into this topic by saying, yes. There are good things in the world, and there are evil things in the world. No denying that at all, but for the majority of things, theres much more to it. A good example would be someone who shoplifts. On the surface, this is a crime and seen as wrong, and I don’t disagree with that, but take into consideration other things as well. Does this person have food, clothing, and shelter readily available to them? Do they have mouths to feed? Can they afford to support themselves? In some cases, no they don’t, and the only way they can keep themselves or the people around them alive is by stealing. This is still very much a crime, and I don’t condone it, but for some people its all they can do.

You can look at magick much the same. Take hexes for example, something that specifically meant to harm another person. But have you even considered why people hex? Sometimes there is someone or something in your life thats toxic, abusive, and just down right nasty to you and you need to find a way to cut it out or make it understand the error of its ways. That’s where a hex comes in, and why they’re not evil by nature. Sometimes harm is necessary for your own, or another persons well being.

On the other side of that coin are regular spells. Something that is usually used for something positive, but even that has gray areas. Lets say someone casts a wealth spell. Are they doing it because they truly need money coming their way, or are they doing it for greedy and more materialistic reasons? These are questions that you must always ask before jumping to conclusions about someones actions. You never really know what someones intent is, unless they explicitly tell you. Good can very much be evil, just as evil can totally be good.

Think about this scenario. You’re a refugee in a warzone and you have a group of people with you, and you’re hiding and trying to escape death or capture. One of the members of your group is a baby and it begins to cry. Do you cover the babies mouth and risk suffocating the baby, or do you let the baby cry and risk the whole group being found and captured or killed?

What would you do in a situation like that? It’s complicated right? That’s what happens with morality in general. Things can get very convoluted and very hard to understand, that’s why looking at things from someone else’s perspective is very important. Nothing is black, just as nothing is white, there is always going to be more to a situation then just what you see on the surface.

Black Magick vs. White Magick

Personally, I do not like these terms. They make people think that these are the only ways to practice their craft, and gives a very limited view. It can scare someone away from magick, and that's the opposite effect we want. The craft has already almost died before, we want it to grow and prosper and that requires people who practice, but that's besides the point. There is no inherant good or bad magick, there are only good and bad intentions of the practitioner.

Think of fire. In the wrong hands, fire can devistate not just a home, but an entire neighborhood or even city. But in the right hands, it completely changed how people grew and evolved. But just because fire can cause harm, does that make fire bad? No. What can make fire bad is someone who is handling it without proper knowledge of how to use it. Magick, like fire, is a tool, and it's up to the person using the tool to use it properly

Ethical Hexing: A Summary

Hexing, while commonly seen as a negative thing can very easily be turned on its head to become something positive. Honestly, Im going to make an entire seperate article on this, but I can give a really good example of how a hex can be positive. And I want you to think about this one and when/if you decide to perform a hex.

One of my covenmates has a hex that he will use if someone has done something majorly wrong to either him or a friend (things like abuse, assault, or manipulation and lying). "May they see the error of their ways" is the name of the hex. Yes, it is still entirely meant to cause harm, but that is only a short term effect. Someone realizing they've done something wrong can be a hard pill to swallow and open up alot of regrets in a persons mind, but in tern that gives them the chance to fix what they've done wrong and start becoming a better person. This hex can help turn someones life around.

If you're going to hex someone, think about how you're going to word it and think about what your true intentions are. Pick your words carefully and really think about how you want it to affect this person. Remember the wise words of the wendigo "The anger in your heart warms you now, but will leave you cold in your grave". Things that go around have a tendency to come back around, so when hexing someone make sure you're doing it for the right reasons, and not to just hurt someone for the hell of it.

And when it comes to hexing, I see nothing wrong with it in the long run. Negative emotions are something that everyone deals with, everyone. And sometimes you need to find a way to express these emotions, especially if there is a particular person who has caused them. Hexing, in the right context, can help you release this pent up emotion and keep you from exploding. Magick doesn't always have to be unicorns and rainbows.

Ethics of Love Spells

This is another place where magick can very much become gray. Love spells are something that I see plently of people on Tumblr practicing and honestly, my responce to that is a positive one, because I haven't seen (so far at least) anyone trying to force a particular person to love them. And thats very important when it comes to any matters in love. When making a love spell, don't try to force a specific person to bend to your will because it has very high chance of failing completely and blowing up in your face. Love spells work best when they're as vague as possible because that gives the universe the chance to bring someone to you that you actually belong with instead of just someone you think you belong with.

If you're making a love spell at a particular person, try to consider that persons feelings too, and put yourself in their shoes. Would you want someone creepily trying to force you to love them? Probably not. Other peoples feelings are just as important as your own. This brings me to my last topic.

Consent

Like in the physical world, consent in spiritual matters is just as important. Someones spiritual life and being are sacred to them, and unless they tell you it's okay to start meddling. DONT. Never try to perform any sort of healing or psychic surgery on someone unless they have given you explicit permission, because you could seriously hurt someone in the process. Whether that was your intention or not, it can happen. The spiritual and physical body are heavily connected, and when one is messed up, so is the other. Always, always, always get someones permission if you're doing anything to them other than just sending general positive vibes.

And that's about it! I hope this article made some of you think and that it helps expand your world view a little bit. If anyone has any sort of questions, please feel free to ask.

[protezioni]

🖊 for Aki, Izami and Namito!!

OF COURSE!!! I am glad you asked them, love you!! This was really fun to do! (Tumblr dont fail me now)

Aki

She is definitely a character who I will love writing because she is just a very loving person, but she actually isn't the most positive person from the mainest characters! (The main characters are actually all the leaders, but other people get to shine of course)! All the leaders actually agree that she is also the best leader, but they don't tell this to their members because it often leads to big fights- and honestly, she probably is. She knows how to balance responsibilities with her closeness to her team! She also is respected by her team because they KNOW how talented she is, and even Bren from all people accept her as a leader.

She has a backstory where she had several fake friends who only got close to her so they could abuse her kindess, but she wasn't straight up bullied. She often let this get to her and this actually leads to her current personality where she shows she loves everyone for real because she doesn't want anyone to feel the way she felt back then. She has joined the famiglia for several reasons, but to not go to major spoiler territories: she is actually replacing a member. She joined after a member left, and she actually also took their previous role- which was as a capo. We will have a futher look on her backstory though once we get to that part!

She also is one of the members who may be depicted as weak by other famiglias, but this is only because she doesn't immediately resort to violence. She isn't the type to shed blood if not needed, and well- She is a messenger? She would prefer talking things out and she also has a close eye on allies! But if you fight her, you will realize how wrong you are. Incredibly wrong. She also has a good control over her emotions a lot, and she may normally be a sweetheart and kind, but she does know when she shouldn't be. It will be a rare occurence when you'll see her angry... BUT YOU WILL!

Also some random fun facts she used to want to be a dancer and like, she does a lot of exercise and stuff because of it! Also the reason why she's the capo of Crew Tre besides her replacing the previous one is because she has flexibity for her body and decisions!

Izami

He is a straight up bitch for a good part of the series. However, he is just holding back a lot of positive ones because that's how he grew up after an incident happened. He can't express himself properly, and it usually transforms to backlashes or even an insult he didn't truly mean--- but he would not be aware of it anymore. But don't worry, he gets better as the story continues! He may not be the best with emotion, but he is extremely talented in fighting and he takes it as the only way he could truly help his famiglia. This ends with him being a bit prideful, and someone who tends to be the first attacker without even thinking. His strategy in fighting also changes over time, so he doesn't go by full instinct anymore!

He doesn't tend to be affectionate to anyone, but it does reveal that he has a soft spot for people he has known for a long time as long as he believes he didn't so anything to disappoint them--- because he ends up covering his guilt with some kind of exterior where he'll rather be disliked by them instead of getting close to them again with the same thoughts staying in his mind. He believes that he could be rather selfish, but he really doesn't do anything about it. People do look at him differently though, specifically Crew Cinque. They know him well and could read him like an open book--- they are probably the Crew which has no wall in between each other as they expose each other ALL THE TIME.

His backstory ended up leading him to a somewhat the negative side effects of a specific scenario... Which I cannot say because that is major spoilers, but his sibling was able to get over it and become positive. He might be quite harsh, especially to the people he perceives as weak too... Because he sees his past self in them so that happens sometimes. But don't worry, as I said, it gets better! But yeah, it does influence his current personality a lot and it is hard to actually get close to him. He would be productive over people he cares about but he just never really admits it.

He was one of the earlier members since he was the one who accepted the role of the mafia faster than the rest. He was actually one of the only main strand members who was in advancement training done by Hiyaro, but it was willing by his choice! Also he is also a ripped bitch, so like... He is muscular. He can throw Ko's whole bed out of the window. He can throw the whole library shelf at Tilear. He is a strong boy.

Namito

HE IS THE BEST BABY BOY, A SWEETHEART, A SMALL PURE BEAN!!!! Okay but talking about him, he is really a small kid who actually really is scared of the people around him, especially if he has just met them and they haven't done anything relatively good to him. He has a major fear of medical equipment and he feela uncomfortable if people point out jis scar because of his past. While he's still young, he takes it as something that triggers his past memories and therefore, hates it being brought up. Once he does age to a teenager, he actually points it out as something he considers a memory that he survived and was saved by the greatest parents he could ever ask for!

Namito was essentially supposed to be a kid who was only given to the Protezioni because parents believed that their place was still an ongoing orphanage, but as time passed by- his backstory really got developed and I think it would have been more striking if he was saved. So that is his backstory now! He also was initially supposed to be a child who was mute, but now I've decided he only learned how to talk properly once he wasn't with his previous "father figure" anymore. He talks in some gibberish and through non-verbal cues from the start, but he gets to learn better later on!

Okay but he IS a precious bean because he loves making things for the people he loves. He's a creative kid who loves learning about art in any kind! He also attempts to get closer to people who he sees as more lonely or angry-- and this is because he genuinely believes no one deserves to be unhappy and lonely! So he does his best to get close to those kinds of people and trust me, the Protezioni members who are more on the lone wold side does get close to him. They love him a lot. Everybody in the Protezioni loves Namito. He loves everybody too! The allies too! Also, he is close to the Retribution Gang as he is with the Protezioni! (AKIRA, YURI AND SHIGURE BELONG TO SO STAN ZETA @zetacomic )

Namito actually gets to learn how to fight from a very young age because he literally lives with the mafia, and someone made a decision it was for the best. He will be trained by a character who doesn't show up until later though! But trust me, his tutor tries his best not to give him injuries or else some people would murder him if he did.

[wildfangz]

@liliithvatore tagged me in that simself thing thats been goin around DAYS ago but here it finally is! also thank you for the tag this was fun :-]

I tag @slythersim @thelurgoyf @seoulchii @weicyn @solitasims @daisydezem @raha-plays-the-sims if they want to do it & anyone that just wants to do it in general! message me and I’ll even @ u directly if u want. 

anyway lets DO THIS shitload of questions under the cut u’ve been warned!!!

1. what is your name?

julian

2. what is your nickname?

jewel, jules

3. birthday?

oct 26th

4. what is your favorite book series?

percy jackson and the olympians will probably always own my heart & soul

5. do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

yes & yes. tho i do think a lot of alien sightings and conspiracy theories and what not are bullshit

6. who is your favorite author?

maggie stiefvater probably? also cornelia funke but its been years since ive read anything by her so i cant be sure BUT i loved inkheart & the thief lord so much

7. what is your favorite radio station?

ummm when i listen to the radio at all i kinda just switch between two rock stations and our popular music station.

8. what is your favorite flavor of anything?

blue raspberry !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tasty and i love a blue tongue

9. what word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful?

cool. or bitchin’.  i play it simple

10. what is your current favorite song?

hands like houses - revive

11. what is your favorite word?

roulette and inhibition which i never get to use either as much as i want !

12. what was the last song you listened to?

emarosa - givin’ up ! its a bop!

13. what tv show would you recommend for everybody to watch?

the new she-ra on netflix its so good. and gay

14. what is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?

moana. its also like the only movie i dont have trouble getting thru despite how many times ive already seen it

15. do you play video games?

16. what is your biggest fear?

idk... being inherently unlovable i guess n ending up alone? also spiders !

17. what is your best quality, in your opinion?

im fairly open-minded and laid back. Unless someones being like, purposely nasty or something I generally don’t get defensive or aggressive. also a lot of little quirks that piss others off dont bother me im very u do u as long as its not actually harming anyone and ive had people tell me this makes it easier to open up to me so thats probably my best quality....

18. what is your worst quality, in your opinion?

....at the same time though i do get very sensitive when faced w/ criticism even if its of the fair variety when its not phrased really gently for various reasons and i dont like that. especially since I have a tendency to not even talk to people about it. I’ll just immediately start distancing myself. also other than that i think overall I have a really high tolerance lvl but if you cross that line I hold a grudge like a motherfucker

9. do you like cats or dogs better?

cats! dogs are good too but cats are a lot easier for me to handle...and quieter generally but even when they’re loud cat sounds dont get to me quite as much as barks do

20. what is your favorite season?

autumn but im starting to really like summer for some reason? wack :/

21. are you in a relationship?

nope

22. what is something you miss from your childhood?

the lack of responsibility, probably. that sounds real bad lmao but for me its like...I know I’ve grown in various ways over the years but I also feel like so many of my experiences, my trauma, my mental health has held me back and I don’t think I’m mentally where I should be for my age. so all the responsibility of adulthood is just..really overwhelming for me sometimes, even though ive been given a pass from certain aspects of it and the rest is pretty simple its the idea!!!!

23. who is your best friend?

my ex

24. what is your eye color?

25. what is your hair color?

26. who is someone you love?

my mom

27. who is someone you trust?

not really anyone rn unfortunately...would like 2 work on that

28. who is someone you think about often?

are my OCs a fair answer because i am always thinking about my babies.....

29. are you currently excited about/for something?

my favorite webcomic (that also has two of my all time favorite characters in it) just came back!! the artist disappeared back in 2015 like the day after I binge-read the whole fucking thing & i was so disappointed but its BACK and 2018 has been redeemed

30. what is your biggest obsession?

sims probably! i could talk about anything relating to it for hours

31. what was your favorite tv show as a child?

there were so damn many its hard to even think and figure out the most notable ones...i really, really liked teen titans though?

32. who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone?

my ex, again

33. are you superstitious?

not terribly so but somewhat. I take certain things as signs and I mean I do believe in astrology & such to a degree

34. do you have any unusual phobias?

i used to be afraid of mirrors but thats all i can think of and its not even a thing anymore...the only other thing is tornadoes but i dont think its unusual. but it definitely sucks for me ‘cause i live in tornado alley!

35. do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

behind it....like taking pretty pictures and dont like ppl capturing my image 2 film

36. what is your favorite hobby?

sims.....also singing!!! and drawing!!!! video editing!!!!!!!!! the works

37. what was the last book you read?

The Dream Thieves....havent finished it though because last time i went to read it a spider was lying in wait and im traumatized

38. what was the last movie you watched?

coco i think???

39. what musical instruments do you play, if any?

drums, various other percussion instruments, and violin mainly

40. what is your favorite animal?

ferrets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

41. what are your top 5 favorite tumblr blogs that you follow?

uhhhhh @bratsims @liliithvatore @cabsim @wildlyminiaturesandwich @keysims pls dont feel bad if i didnt include u these were just the first to pop into my head and ive been following some of them since I first made my blog!! and have kept up with their stories completely and enjoy them etc check them OUT !

42. what superpower do you wish you had?

shapeshifting!!! dysphoria? gone. ugliness? gone. want to morph into a fucked up clown and scare people when they realize all the classic clown features are a real actual part of my face? possible!

43. when and where do you feel most at peace?

chillin’ at the pool in summer during the part of the day when no ones there.... swimming is always relaxing 2 me then i love just resting under the sun and drying off afterwards especially since we have a little pond nearby and i can hear the water! its nice

44. what makes you smile?

always and without fail? interacting with anyone i have a crush on. i’ll look like a dope the whole time

45. what sports do you play, if any?

i used 2 play basketball a lot. Like not seriously but it was a thing

46. what is your favorite drink?

dr pepper and monster energy (original flavor) pumps through my veins at this point. we love a carbonated beverage

47. when was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?

two years ago for my ex and I’s first year anniversary... I never got it mailed but I did at least take a picture of it (with included caption because my handwriting is atrocious). i was very up front about being a romantic and see heres the PROOF

48. are you afraid of heights?

nope! very excited by them actually

49. what is your biggest pet peeve?

i cant stand passive aggressive behavior. my stance is either get over it or quit acting like a bitch because otherwise im just going to ignore you thats the scorpio way (in all seriousness I really, really do recommend not putting up with it and ignoring it until they decide to be up front with you. it can be exhausting constantly reading into conversations and its not healthy for you or them. if they have something to say they need to learn to talk about it properly, and that lack of social skills is not ever on you)

50. have you ever been to a concert?

yep! i think about....six or so? i love them...which is really funny im autistic and EVERYTHING about them should freak me out and they do in other circumstances but at a show i just live for it

51. are you vegan/vegetarian?

nope! ive thought before id like to go vegetarian...but i couldnt do it with my health problems. also i love shrimp too much

52. when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

ive always wanted to do something creative! when i was rlly young I thought a lot about singing and acting and writing in particular...all things im still interested in.... also i wanted to be a dictator ages 4-7 because i told my mom i wanted to be president of the world and make people do what i say and she said “honey thats a dictator not a president”. i then made that known at school and that turned into a situation!

53. what fictional world would you like to live in?

pokemon universe or bust. 

54. what is something you worry about?

never being able to do things i want to do or catching up with others because of my disabilities

55. are you scared of the dark?

yes but a reasonable amount i think

56. do you like to sing?

yes :]

57. have you ever skipped school?

yes i used to play sick a LOT and as my parents caught onto it id even go all out to convince them. i was good at school but i hated it so much

58. what is your favorite place on the planet?

dunno! malls maybe i love shopping and looking at material objects i wish to own

59. where would you like to live?

oregon! portland in particular thats been my dream for a few years now

60. do you have any pets?

a cat! he lives with my dad & grandma though...hes grown up there and likes going outside so I felt bad about taking him with me when i moved out but anyway this is him hes fat and stupid and i love him his name is coffee

61. are you more of an early bird or a night owl?

night owl because my rhythm is all fucked up but in my heart....an early bird...if i get a good nights sleep i’ll be up early yacking your ear off and so excited for the day

62. do you like sunrises or sunsets better?

sunsets are prettier...but sunrises feel more refreshing

63. do you know how to drive?

nope ! im gay !

64. do you prefer earbuds or headphones?

headphones. better sound quality also discourages people from talking to me slightly more

65. have you ever had braces?

nope! but i need them

66. what is your favorite genre of music?

post-hardcore maybe?

67. who is your hero?

every trans person living their truth and being open and loud about who they are past present & future. the worlds not particularly kind to us and our existence alone is considered a radical act, so its always given me hope to see others refusing to pretend to be someone they’re not in this environment and I’ll always have mad respect for that

68. do you read comic books?

i read manga and webcomics...ive always wanted to get into superhero comics but the amount of issues and different versions is ridiculous and makes it inaccessible 2 me 

69. what makes you the most angry?

i mean its hard to pinpoint what makes me angry the MOST...but a contender is definitely how some people feel free to treat others with cruelty and think its their god given right to deny or attack someones existence in some way, & how acts of kindness, even the most basic are branded as liberal bullshit or whatever....it goes against everything i was taught growing up

70. do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?

real book! electronic device can be easier but....rough on the eyes after a while and nothing beats the real thing for me

71. what was your favorite subject in school?

language arts...at least when we did creative writing stuff

72. do you have any siblings?

two older sisters & an older brother that passed away years ago but. still my brother u kno

73. what was the last thing you bought?

mocha frappe baby!!!!!

74. how tall are you?

5′4″

75. can you cook?

a little bit....not as much as id like to though but im learning

76. what are three things that you love?

storms, cheesy breadsticks, and cat purrs

77. what are three things that you hate?

unnecessary rudeness, being talked down to or generally treated like im stupid, grapefruit which is the worst thing on this list

78. do you have more female friends or more male friends?

female i think?

79. what is your sexual orientation?

im the big bad promiscuous bisexual your parents warned you about

80. where do you currently live?

oklahoma. gofundme campaign to get me out

81. who was the last person you texted?

my friend jojo! just Now!

82. when was the last time you cried?

yesterday afternoon but im a changed man now thats behind me. i will cry about different things soon

83. who is your favorite youtuber?

the mcelroy brothers. also super best friends play. matt, pat & woolie are all great tbh

84. do you like to take selfies?

depends on whether i feel ugly or terribly dysphoric that day or not

85. what is your favorite app?

ummmm....love live school idol festival ive been playin for years its an addiction

86. what is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

dad = bad mom = okay. theres some issues that strain it but its not too bad

87. what is your favorite foreign accent?

i have no idea what the fuck australians are talking about half the time but i dig it anyway 

88. what is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit?

Italy, Greece, Germany, Japan, Mexico, various other states (ive only been out of state three times. twice to texas and then once to kansas. for five minutes)

89. what is your favorite number?

6!! 26 also

90. can you juggle?

ive always wanted to but alas.... :-[

91. are you religious?

i suppose...but im rlly not into organized religion

92. do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting?

space probably theres so fucking much of it man!

93. do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?

not to brag but sometimes i eat my mcdonalds hamburgers cold from the fridge so you can figure that one out yourself B)

94. are you allergic to anything?

pecans. not deathly allergic though so catch me eating turtle pie anyway! 

95. can you curl your tongue?

nope :[

96. can you wiggle your ears?

nope :[

97. how often do you admit that you were wrong about something?

usually as soon as i realize....unless someones being real smug and annoying then i might be stubborn about it

98. do you prefer the forest or the beach?

ive never been to the beach but i love her!!!

99. what is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?

probably that you have to look at your accomplishments differently when you’re disabled or just struggling, to not be so down on yourself because its a fact that what might be a mole hill to someone else is a mountain to you and you have to judge yourself accordingly. Like maybe you weren’t able to clean the whole house, but washing the dishes and tidying your desk doesn’t usually get done but you did it. That that should be celebrated because while it would also feel good if you did more, you still did something and thats great all things considered.

100. are you a good liar?

sometimes, really depends what im lying about and if im like....into it at all. If my guts against it for whatever reason I’ll have trouble

101. what is your hogwarts house?

i always get slytherin or hufflepuff! usually with like 1 point difference

102. do you talk to yourself?

i am talking to myself right now as i fill this out

103. are you an introvert or an extrovert?

extrovert mainly! i used to think i was more introverted but now i think a lot of exhaustion when theres any comes from me just going the extra mile and actively trying to read people and pick up on social ques.... if I just chill im fine

104. do you keep a journal/diary?

nope...ive tried but i just cant keep up with it so i do the next best thing. shouting into the void on the internet to a bunch of strangers

105. do you believe in second chances?

depends on what you did the first time. Some people just don’t deserve taking that risk imo...but i can be a little guarded so maybe thats a bit too harsh

106. if you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?

turn it in, unless there was no identifying things in it & it was found somewhere kinda random. Then I’d maybe hold onto it unless my gut challenged that

107. do you believe that people are capable of change?

absolutely. i mean thats all we do throughout our lives is change and evolve...that being said I think extremely drastic changes are maybe not entirely impossible, but extremely rare, and the residue of the former self usually sticks around in some form

108. are you ticklish?

yes, dangerously so

109. have you ever been on a plane?

nope

110. do you have any piercings?

one day hopefully!

111. what fictional character do you wish was real?

asra from the arcana.....even if he wasn’t my boyfriend thats just a dude u could chill and eat some pomegranates with u know. Before I downloaded the app my friends kept telling me he was made for me and he really was he ticks like everything on my Favorite Characters Feature List except villain but he has that particular allure & attitude i like so much in villains so thats not a single point off hes perfect

112. do you have any tattoos?

nope...one day! hopefully!

113. what is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?

accepting my genderqueerness and bisexuality definitely. Self Love hasn’t been perfected just yet but that was such a huge step in the right direction

114. do you believe in karma?

yes! she doesn’t get shit done as much as id like however

115. do you wear glasses or contacts?

glasses. not contacts yet because my eye doctor is a bitch

116. do you want children?

I do....just not sure if id be a good parent. Its really important to me if I had a child itd be for the right reason and I could raise them well in a healthy environment & be able to take care of all their needs yknow

117. who is the smartest person you know?

probably my friend jojo

118. what is your most embarrassing memory?

one time i looked outside and the sunset was really pretty and i wanted to get a photo of it so i walked out.....and stood like right by the street so there weren’t trees in my way...and then i realized mid-pic 1) i am not wearing pants & my shirt is full of holes 2) id been depressed for days so my hair was a tangled mess. I tailed it back inside so i didnt even get a nice pic it was blurry!

119. have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

120. what colour are most of you clothes?

black i didnt even have to think about that one

121. do you like adventures?

they are pretty swell

122. have you ever been on tv?

a few times when i was little. always photobombing the news reporters 4 what i thought would eventually lead 2 fame & fortune

123. how old are you?

21

124. what is your favorite movie quote?

this is technically lyrics to that lil song in moana at the end but

“ They have stolen the heart from inside you. But this does not define you.”

hits me hard every time! emotional impact? i know her

125. sweet or savory?

sweet!!!!!!!! gotta balance out my bitter somehow

[aplaceforthesoul]

Anonymous submitted:

Detailed

Okay so this may be quite long and I do apologize. But tomorrow I’m going to be calling a local psychologist to book my first appointment in about 7 years. I was hoping to just receive some insight from others before I go spilling my shit to a doctor.

OKAY so I’m going to try and make this short with as much detail as possible.

As a kid I was really sick, I caught some wild disease or whatever when I was a baby which developed into chronic asthma, among other illnesses. I was hospitalized for weeks and even months at a time, even to this day I struggle with my immune system and need hospitalization but not to the extent as before. anyway, being sick as a young child it makes sense to be sheltered right? I wasn’t able to do a lot of things my friends and siblings were doing and a lot of the time my siblings were jealous of me for how special I was treated by my parents. Me being so sheltered led to being clingy/having attachment issues to my mom. When she’d be gone I’d have emotional melt downs alone in my room (ex. I’d rock back and forth, crying, worrying to a crazy extent if she was okay, thinking she died, calling her over and over until she answered.), I slept in my parents bed until I was like 10 and I’d scream for my mom if I woke up alone in the bed. I think this has carried on into my adult life but not with my mom, it’s with whoever I’m closest to.

When I was 11 my parents split up and a lot of things went down between my dad and I, he was very angry and took it out on me. So that, along with puberty I guess caused me to be extremely angry and emotionless, and depressed. My mom even told me her and my sister were scared of me. I have memories of wanting to throw myself out of the car when we were at a high speed, and wanting to drown myself in our bathtub. I used to cut myself too. I had a therapist for a bit and I told her I cut myself because I was angry and that was it. I was also bullied a lot for my sexuality and had to show my school counselor my arms every week. I took a lot of my anger out on my mom, I dont know why. I don’t think I had a good enough reason to act that way.

My depression stayed solid up until mid high school I guess. I went through two therapists, neither of them were qualified enough to be licensed in my opinion. So around the age of 15 or 16 I was a lot more extroverted and happy, I had a lot of friends and no issues at home. But then around the age of 18 I had to deal with the stress of growing up and finally doing things for myself, which I still really really struggle with. My mom also decided to tell me she’ll be moving across the country alone that year and that’s put a lot of stress on me since. All of a sudden I developed this overwhelming sense of anxiety. I think I’ve always had some type of anxiety, as everyone does. But it’s just skyrocketed since I was about 18. Public speaking, calling people, speeches, meeting people, eye contact, eating in front of people, etc. is just crippling for me. This year it’s probably at its worst. I have trouble leaving my house. I don’t even want to call to make my appointment tomorrow. The last time I had to read something aloud in cosmetology school I was shaking so bad my partner had to hold my paper I was reading off of, that along with bullying (which I haven’t dealt with since I was in middle school) caused me to drop out. My anxiety has triggered my depression and I think I have some sort of dissociative disorder or borderline personality disorder. I won’t go in depth about that. I hope someone can give me some sort of advice or at least let me know I’m not going fucking insane lol. I’m sorry this is so long, I hope you have a nice day (:  

Hey there. Sorry it took so long to reply. I just want you to know that you’re not insane.

It’s definitely beneficial to see a psychologist. You mentioned that you’ve had a few therapists before and none of them really helped. You may also want to mention that to your psychologist, like why the previous therapists didn’t make you feel comfortable so that your current one can hopefully help with creating a more welcoming environment for you.

Given the situations and environment you grew up with, no you’re not insane for having those issues. You’re only human and you can only take so much. When your mum said they’re scared of you, I’m sure she didn’t mean to hurt you. She’s just really concerned that you’re going to do something harmful to yourself. I think your siblings were way too young to understand the situation you were in, therefore they reacted to it with jealousy. 

I really don’t think it’s  your fault that you’re having issues with doing things alone for the first time. You weren’t given the chance to properly grow up and learn to deal with things yourself. But it doesn’t mean it’s too late to learn it now, so I’m really glad you’re seeing a therapist. 

While I am not in any way qualified to give you a diagnosis. I’ll share you with the information that I know and hopefully help you out ><. From what I know, there could be a comorbidity of mental illnesses, meaning different mental disorders can coexist. It does sound like you have social anxiety. I can’t obviously diagnose you but here are some posts/websites that may provide some information for your reference ♡ ♡  . You can try out this app called SAM that helps you deal with anxiety. Here are also some posts that may ♡ ♡ . 

 It also sounds like you’re really attached to your mother, I can’t really say much about this without more information but the major diagnose for attachment issues include, dependent personality disorder and separation anxiety disorder.

About your anxiety and depression, they can happen together. In psychology, we say everyone has a cup, filled with different amount of water, that is your predisposition to mental illness. When there’s stress, it fills up and may overflow. Some ways to manage stress ♡♡

No matter what the diagnosis is, it does not define you. You are not your illness. I know it’s probably easier said than done. But it’s just like catching a cold. With the right treatment and help, you can and you will recover. Your bullies are just people who don’t understand the situation you’re in. No matter what people say, they cannot invalidate your worth. You’re worthy of recovery and deserve every right to be happy. I hope this helps. We’re always here to listen if you need anything. 

Sammi 

[blookmallow]

goin through tma transcripts again making some more observations

i think im picking up on another potential thread here i didnt notice before 

- in Growing Dark, natalie becomes obsessed with darkness. the lightbulbs appear to be going out because she’s intentionally unscrewing them, so it doesn’t seem to be the exact same as what was happening around montauk, but there’s a clear connection anyway (and mark bilham says the streetlights and the car headlights and everything all seemed darker than they should be when he went back to confront natalie, as well) jon suspects this but says it’s only a suspicion, and he isn’t sure. not sure why two different names were given (”the peoples church of the divine host” and “the hither green dissenters”) but it could just be two different names for the same group. jon doesn’t seem to know either 

- Why Didn’t Kathy ASK Her What The Food Was and i also cant decide if i really want to know what it was or really DON’T want to know but i dont think it was spinach 

- if it IS the same cult: if they were trying to summon the darkness, or worshipping it, or something, it doesn’t quite fit that montauk himself was apparently trying to keep this darkness away

but then, his killings began after his wife left, and she left the pendant behind when she did, so maybe she left the cult and that’s what made the darkness angry, but. julia doesn’t mention having ever seen her father wearing a pendant like that so it doesn’t seem like he himself was part of the cult before, and if his wife was the one involved/the one who left, why would the darkness be coming for him 

or if she was... protecting him from it and now that she’s gone it’s coming after him why would she have left her pendant behind like that, if “I’m leaving the church” was something personal to her and wasn’t intended as a statement to him

- seems like there may be two rival cults clashing here, could be some kind of Fire/open eyes/Seeing vs Darkness/closed eye/Listening happening. the clown doll in Strange Music also had eyes painted shut, and that was centered on. strange music. and the darkness cult emphasizes losing sight but there’s that discordant singing

this is a theme i didnt pick up on until just now and i dont really want to go back through and search for Sight vs Sound in everything else right now but, hm. seems like there’s been a lot of creatures that don’t want to be Seen, things that resist all attempt to Prove them, things that don’t show their true forms visually. things that don’t show up on cameras even though they were there. things that you can only see properly when you’re not looking directly at it

the strange blonde man sasha encounters says “How would a melody describe itself when asked?” his appearance distorts in reflections and he describes himself as sound 

something something magnus institute trying to cast Light and Understanding and Truth onto things that don’t want to be seen and don’t want to be understood. prentiss says in her statement - “I need it to be seen. To be seen in the cold light of knowledge is anathema to the things that crawl and slither and swarm in the corners and the cracks.”

so prentiss appears to be on the Darkness side/that makes the most sense but sasha notably discovers she can kill the worms with a fire extinguisher, while martin had noticed a partly burned worm that had apparently not been killed by fire before (and. timothy clearly did not escape the worms, regardless of whether he killed some of them or not). after prentiss was found the first time the complex burned down. i cant quite make sense of whats happening there

- there were screams heard in the abandoned chapel on the day gertrude died so something’s definitely going on there. the guy with the dream about her believed something unspeakably horrible was coming for her it doesn’t make sense that she was just shot, and “the unspeakable horror was Betrayal” seems like a cop out to me so i dont think thats it 

- the guy in Burnt Offering was. under the effects of some kind of Burning Curse so that’s. pretty clear, but why were there pictures of gertrude in that clearing. the fuck is happening there 

- I’m still trying to figure out what’s happening with Written Word vs Speech, maybe related to Seeing/Silence too, like. all these statements are written. jon is speaking them and at first i just thought he was really into the storytelling but now I’m starting to worry that the reason he sounds so different when he’s narrating the statements is that they’re. getting into him. somehow. like he’s some kind of a conduit for something. i don’t like that at ALL and i REALLY hope im wrong lmao

anyway then there’s Cheating Death, where nathaniel thorp says that his story is folklore which has never before been written down, so we have... oral tradition being spoken by an illiterate man, copied down in written word for the first time by the magnus institute (not sure if it’s relevant Who transcribed it, jon says it was a research assistant named Fiona Law, who died from what seems to be completely unrelated causes like 30 yeas later, so) and now being recited/spoken again by jon. and there’s probably something to the fact that thorp says it’s a legend/folklore but it turns out to have actually been his statement all along, so im not sure if he was... saying that the stories were about Him, or if the concept of “people who try to gamble with death become something stuck between death and life” was a story he grew up with and then discovered to be Real, or if none of it was folklore in the first place and just talking about it in a detached third person way was the only way he could do it 

prentiss describes the magnus institute as “This place of books and learning, of sight and beholding” and seems not to trust in Words, 

“There is no right word because for all your Institute and ignorance may laud the power of the word, it cannot even stretch to fully capture what I feel in my bones. What possible recourse could there be for me in your books and files and libraries except more useless ink and dying letters? I see now why the hive hates you. You can see it and log it and note it’s every detail but you can never understand it. You rob it of its fear even though your weak words have no right to do so.”

that also speaks to jon’s skepticism, everything “verifiable” about these statements does not make sense to the person’s actual experience, things keep happening that for whatever reason cannot be explained and understood, people who were THERE but theres no record of them existing, cave systems that are heavily mapped and documented but the actual experience of exploring them doesnt follow the documentation at all 

after reading prentiss’ statement jon says “There are weird things out there that are perfectly natural. It’s not, though. I know it’s not natural.” which is... the first time ive noticed him actually looking at something that could be explained rationally (prentiss is a mentally ill woman with a very aggressive currently-unknown-to-science parasite) but instead follows his feeling that theres something more underneath it 

he also. says this after having read the statement and remarks that “something in this statement has got to me a bit” and the... way he read it was very alarming and very..... Not His Voice. it worries me a LOT that something about these statements seems to be getting into him and ESPECIALLY that one 

[purplesurveys]

205

What is the title of the strangest book you own? I know I have an old book somewhere entitled Sing a Song of Tuna Fish, which I got when I was I think 8. Enjoyed quite a bit at the time and reread it a few times too. That’s the weirdest one I have. How often do you actually wake up in a good mood? Kind of rarely these days. I hate 6 AM call times EVERY DAY. What can we usually find you doing on a Friday night? Friday nights are always reserved for Gabie, whether we’re staying in or eating out. We mix up the itinerary every week, so there’s no usual. What would you say is your guiltiest pleasure? Right now that title belongs to Charlie Puth, but I don’t necessarily feel guilty about enjoying his music... Tell me all about your special lady/gentleman. She has just the prettiest, the purest, and the sweetest soul. She has this vibe about her that makes her loved by everyone; even all of my orgmates love having her around. She’s great at reading and making poetry, and is the smartest person I know.

What is the highest outdoor temperature you've ever had to endure? Malaysia was pretty hot and dry, but I was never able to note the temperature. Here in the Philippines, the worst was probably 36-37ºC. The humidity made it worse too so technically that would increase it to around 42ºC. And the lowest? That belongs to either Japan (too cold I couldn’t even speak and stayed clinging to my dad so I could walk properly) or Sagada at 4 AM. Japan at the time had a one-digit temperature in Celsius, and Sagada was 10ºC. What is the funniest thing a child has ever said to you. I don’t actually know...Filipino kids aren’t all that witty. I just remember being entertained by my godson one time, who genuinely cared for ants and thinks they should be left undisturbed. It was even funnier the way his eyebrows were knitted so much in concern. Do you let your pets on your furniture? Sure, the only exception being the dining table. Can you usually tell when someone has feelings for you? The fact that I don’t know anything right now means I probably can’t, haha. I had no slight clue Mike liked me the way he did and how serious he was about it, that’s another case. I can read people very well, but I’m just very oblivious when it comes to this. Do you know what things your pet(s) prefers to eat? My dog loves his rice and his meat. In other words, human food. That’s what he grew on and that’s what he ended up loving most. What would you plant in your dream garden? Please don’t trust me with plants. Do you believe in fairies, gnomes, or elves? .....No? What does your wallet look like? Filled with pieces of paper that I know I have to throw out but just can’t be bothered to. Some bills in it too, and tons of coins. What is your favorite thing to cook for someone else? I can only make instant noodles for Gab but thankfully she never gets tired of it. Tell me about the last book you read. It talks about Asian imperialism and touched on how the Japanese basically became the bully in the entire continent. It was annoying to contemplate on it in the first place since I definitely knew what my country had to go through under them, come to find out even more of their atrocities in China. Apparently they liked raping women and either cutting children in half or burning them, so that was an absolute joy to read. Who was the last person to leave you flustered? Haven’t felt that recently. What's the last thing you ate that was made with phyllo dough? I’m not sure. Have you ever bought underwear simply because it made your underwear drawer look nice? I guess, yeah? Describe the outfit that makes you look and feel your best. I have a variety of those that I just whip out whenever I want to have the feeling that I know I look good. A tight black tank top and ripped jeans usually does the trick most times though. What can you see from where you're sitting? The entire dining area and part of the kitchen. I would also see the guest bathroom from here but the door is closed. When you have a chance at happiness, do you allow yourself to take it? Yes, but most of the time I can be wary at first; and generally I don’t let myself wallow in being happy for too long because it’s always taken away from me harshly at some point. What are some bands others would be surprised to find in your music library? I never let anyone know about my punk taste to begin with so I’m sure they’d be most surprised if I suddenly tuned into my Misfits or Cro-Mags discography. How do you feel about kettle cooked chips? I’m not familiar with the name. I might know what they are as chips, but I never bother learning about what they are called most of the time haha. Tell me something about yourself that you're most proud of. I study in the top university in the country. What do you like to dunk in your coffee, if anything? I dont dunk my food in it. What was the subject of the last documentary you watched? Haven’t sat down to view a docu in so long but the last one was probably about the feral child, Genie. What sort of things do you do when you have the entire evening to relax? Surveys, call my girlfriend, watch YouTube videos, sometimes sleep early. Are there any books I should check out next time I'm at the library? Yup, not really the person to go to for book recommendations. Opinions on cold pizza? The only way to eat pizza. Do you have a favorite brand of tea? I don’t even drink tea. What's the last stupid question you were asked? (Besides these.) Hahahaha good save. Gabie asked me who Gianina (an org-mate) was even though they have met each other like five times. Her memory is so bad but sometimes it’s just asking for an eyeroll from me lol. What's been on your mind lately? How I’m going to see Paramore up close in three months. Tell me about the best thing you created with your own two hands. A pot! I made one from clay on my trip to Ilocos last August. I’ve wanted to do it since I was maybe 5 and was sooooo excited to get my hands on the wet clay. Definitely not as easy as it looks on screen but I loved how mine turned out. I couldn’t take it home though since it had to be baked and everything for a week, but I was only staying there for two days :( How strong do you like your coffee? Not strong. I want milk in my coffee. Do you feel like you need to get something off your chest? Not right now. Describe your morning routine. Sluggish. Always lazy. Always grumpy. What strange food combinations do you thoroughly enjoy? I would experiment mayonnaise on anything edible. What's your favorite Elvis song? I don’t have one. Are there any songs you wish your favorite band would cover? Welp not really into covers, so. Paramore’s Fleetwood Mac and Drake covers are all a solid 12/10, though. Do you enjoy talking on the phone? Only with my girlfriend. Otherwise, it’s dreadful. Are you currently waiting for something to come in the mail? Nope. Would you rather see someone of the opposite sex naked or nicely dressed? Away from me. What makes your best friend the best? They are patient with me. That’s all I’ve always asked for. When was the last time you felt incredibly stupid or embarrassed? Ughhhhh fuck, awhile ago because I’M THE WORST. I was at a buffet and this waiter guy is making small talk, being super friendly. Unfortunately my ears decided to be the biggest pricks right at that moment and when he asked, “Have you been seated?” I couldn’t get myself to understand him and had to ask ‘sorry?’ FOUR. TIMES. Four times to repeat the freakin’ question. I couldn’t believe my guts. I suck. Made up for it by being just as friendly after that slipup. How do you go about cheering someone up? Depends on the person because they all have their own solutions. Others want to be left alone, some want to be hugged, to be listened to, to be given advice, need a shoulder to cry on, or just need a companion to stay silent with. I do all of those with or for my loved ones. How would you react if someone told you they had feelings for you? Yikes. Serenade me with some lyrics from the song currently stuck in your head. “If I smile with my teeth, bet you’d believe me / If I smile with my teeth, I think I believe me.” What is the last thing you wrote down? (continuing this from last night) Notes I’ve written on my readings for history class. Tell me something great about the day/night you're having. ...I had just woken up. Get back to me with this question later on in the day.

Would you ever participate in a suspension? Of? What was the last thing to annoy you? My schedule doesn’t work with everyone else’s today. :/ Name five things that begin with the letter C. Cactus, coconuts, credit card, claw, cane. What's the title of the last book you bought? Yeah about that... Would you ever consider visiting Texas? I would, actually; but mostly because I have family living there. One of my second cousins that I’m really close with, Ate Joelle, urges me every year to come hang in Texas so I probably would once I’ve the money to. I don’t know much about the state though except Christianity is kind of huge. Where do you go when you need to escape? My room, Skywalk, or the college library. How big is your town's library? Ask that to our government, who never allots enough money for institutions like that :----) We don’t have any local libraries, nor parks, nor memorials, nor a museum save for one. Which bands would play in your dream concert? My favorites won’t merge well in a concert so meh. Do you know of any home remedies that work surprisingly well? No. If you could make a movie, what would it be about? I’ll leave that to my girlfriend, the bigger film major between the two of us. Tell someone something they need to know. That they’d have to be a huge dick to wake me up the way they did earlier. What's something you've never been able to live down? When I sang for a hundred or so party guests on my 7th birthday party. My parents definitely would never let me forget it–the entire thing is on CD. What's something that's been on your to-do list for awhile? Hahahahaha ughhhhh the mockery of this question. I guess do the stuff that I’ve been needing to do in Filipino. How do you take your mind off things? Surveys usually. YouTube videos sometimes. Tell me a joke. Eh, all the good ones I know of are in Filipino. Do you own a battle jacket? Nope.