#give yourself and your loved ones a chance for a bright future

[rosalie-starfall]

Remember, this is a Republican/Conservative majority Supreme court that's decided we aren't worthy of loan forgiveness or aid not Biden or Democrats.

[navybrat817]

Double Shift

Pairing: Chop Shop Mechanic!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Bucky helps you unwind after you work a double shift.

Word Count: Over 1.8k

Warnings: Established relationship, slight insecurities, bit of backstory, dirty talk, mild smut, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?).

A/N: @nixakimbo was kind enough to gift me with this GORGEOUS edit and I had to create a new AU. Sorry, lovelies? @tavners , this is for you. Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @saradika-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

You dropped your bag the moment you walked through the door. Your feet ached despite the comfortable shoes, and your head throbbed with each passing second. Groaning, you dragged yourself to the couch, collapsing into it like it was the only place you’d ever wanted to be. Working doubles was exhausting, but this? This was something else entirely.

It was a long day in a series of long days, but now you had a chance to relax.

Reaching for the nearby pillow, you inhaled deeply, a smile tugging at your lips. Instead of the usual fresh scent of your couch, you caught the familiar, warm fragrance of your boyfriend’s cologne. He must have spritzed it before leaving for work. It was like leaning into him and your shoulder relaxed more, even though you wished he were really there.

The sound of the door creaking open a few minutes later told you that your wish had been granted.

“Aww. Long day, baby?” Bucky cooed from the doorway, spotting you sprawled out with no intention of moving to greet him. “You know your bag’s on the ground?”

“Mm-hmm.” You rubbed your temples slowly. “You know I worked a double, right? I’m lucky I made it to the couch.”

His soft chuckle reached your ears as he set his keys down and picked up your bag. “I know and I’m sorry. You work really hard.” He leaned down to kiss your forehead once he reached the couch. “I wish you didn't have to.”

You turned your head, the throbbing in your temples easing when your eyes met his. His black tank top fit him perfectly, complementing the tattoos that stretched across his neck and arms. The skulls and flowers, symbols of death and hope, told stories of his past. Stories he didn't have to tell you about, but he did anyway and you were happy to know every detail. As captivating as the ink was, it was his blue eyes that held you. In them, you saw your future, bright and full of love.

“That’s life. And you work hard, too,” you reminded him.

“Yeah. My job is so honorable,” he mumbled, making a mess of his hair as he ran a hand through it. “I’m really making a difference in the world.”

You frowned sympathetically. Bucky was a gifted mechanic, but his family was dealt a bad hand and he did what he had to do to take care of his younger sister. “And you’ll be out of there soon.”

Once he finished paying off Becca's medical bills, he could quit. That day was getting closer and closer. And one day he’d open his own shop, too, a legitimate shop. You wanted to stand beside him when that dream came true. Becca would be so proud.

Both of you wanted the best for Bucky.

He sighed, sinking to his knees and resting his hands on your thighs. You could see the gray peppering his scruff and you couldn’t help but reach out to run your nails through it. The sound of his groan made you smile, so you did it again.

“I just wanna give you the world,” he whispered, turning his head and kissing your palm. “You know that, right?”

“You already do,” you whispered back, his eyes softening. You had a roof over your head, food in your stomach, and his love in your heart. It was all you needed. “But you know, I could-”

Bucky put a finger to your lips to stop you. “I know what you're going to say and we’re not selling your dad's car.”

You smiled sadly. Your dad’s car was a classic and could get Bucky the money he needed, but he turned the offer down each time you brought it up. He didn't want you to give up one of the only things you had left of your dad. “I won't say a word tonight.”

But you could try again tomorrow.

“Thank you.” He took your hand and kissed your palm again. “You up for a ride later?”

“I don’t think I’m moving from this spot tonight,” you half smiled. “But we can tomorrow.”

“You don’t wanna go for a ride tonight?” he asked, surprise laced in his voice. You usually jumped at the chance to ride his motorcycle with him.

“Feet and head hurt a little,” you admitted, touching his cheek as concern etched his features. “I’m fine, really. Nothing for you to make a fuss about, but I won't turn you down if you want to dote on me.”

“Baby,” he sighed, slipping your shoes off. You gasped when he began massaging the sole of your right foot, the gentle pressure making your body sink deeper into the couch. By the time he switched to your left foot, you were practically melting. “That better?”

“Yeah,” you smiled, combing your fingers through his dark hair. He always took care of you. “I swear, you have magic hands.”

“Oh, I have more than magic hands,” he winked, your heart skipping a beat. “And you know what’s good for headaches?”

“Bucky…” you smiled. There was a warning in your voice, but you couldn't help the amusement in your eyes.

“Yes, me,” he grinned. “I’m very good at helping with headaches and you know it.”

Your smile widened. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Oh, so making you come all over my face before I cook you dinner was not what you meant and will not help your headache?” he asked, his voice deep, dripping with desire.

Whatever ache you felt in your body all went straight to your pussy. A deep, throbbing ache that cried out for him to soothe it since he was the cause. “Is making melt on your tongue as my reward for working a double?”

He smirked at your breathy tone. “That’s exactly what it is.” He didn’t need to ask you to lift your hips when he reached for the waistband of your pants and pulled them off with your underwear. Your body moved on instinct for him, fluid and in sync. “I can feed you right here and carry you to bed, too.”

“I’m too big and heavy for you to carry me,” you teased. His eyes flashed, and before you could react, he leaned down unexpectedly, sinking his teeth into your thigh. Your mouth fell open from the sting, but it felt good, too. “Hey!” You shrieked.

“You’re not big. You’re not heavy. You’re perfect,” he snarled, brushing his tongue along the teeth marks. You wanted his mark all over you. “I’ll blame that remark on how tired you are right now from work.”

Framing his face to lift his head, you met his lips in a soft kiss, hoping to convey how much it meant to you that he saw you as beautiful. How touched you were that he always put your care and feelings first. As scary as he looked to others, you knew the man inside. The one with a heart full of passion.

“I’m not perfect,” you whispered against his lips, gasping when he nibbled your bottom lip. A second bite for once again downplaying yourself. “But I’m perfect for you.”

“You think so?” he asked quietly.

“I know so,” you said, biting his bottom lip for good measure.

He thought you were too good for him some days, and you were quick to shut that down. A good man wouldn’t have taken care of his sister the way he did, and he wouldn’t love you wholeheartedly if he was less of a good person than you. His current profession didn’t define him, and you refused to let him believe it did.

“I...” He kissed the corner of your mouth. “Love...” You shivered when he kissed the other corner. “You.”

A flame lit within your heart. His tender touches and words burned you from the inside out. “I love you, too,” you managed to whisper before his lips covered yours again.

Fresh arousal washed over you when he smiled and kissed down your body. “Now let me show you with my mouth how much I love you,” he simpered, parting your legs to open for him. “Might die if I don’t get my mouth on you and you wouldn’t want that, would you? And we need to get rid of your headache.”

You moaned, also feeling like you’d die if he didn’t touch you. “Do I get your cock, too? It’s a pretty bad headache you need to help me get rid of,” you teased. If your pain actually persisted, he’d make you take something and insist on you resting. And maybe it was selfish to ask for more than one orgasm, but you both knew he wouldn’t turn down the opportunity to rock your world.

“Before and after dinner,” he promised, his pupils dialting as he stared between your trembling thighs. “Fuck, I missed you today,” he groaned.

“Missed me or my pussy?” you asked, certain that you were going to soak the cushion beneath you and you didn’t care as long as he got you off. “Because we both missed you.”

He smirked, his hand inching up your thigh. “Of course, you missed me. Who else would make you come as hard as I do?”

Cocky was a good look on him, but you could play a little, too. “Well…” Your coy smile had him raising his eyebrow. “If you really want to know, there’s-” You threw your head back with a cry as Bucky’s head dipped down to taste you, effectively cutting off your teasing.

It wouldn’t take long for you to coat his fingers and tongue with your release. It never did with him. He’d make you taste yourself when he kissed you after so you could fully appreciate the orgasm he gave you. He wouldn’t give you any reprieve when he’d bend you over the couch and sink his cock into your sensitive pussy. Your sounds would be erotic music to his ears, just like his words were music to yours.

“Grind that pussy back against me. Show me how much you crave my cock.”

“Such a good girl for me. Such a good pussy for me to fuck and fill.”

“Don’t you dare rub your clit. You wanna come? I’ll make you come.”

“Oh, you don’t have to beg for me to come inside you. I’ll give it to you.”

You’d scream his name in ecstasy and pass out in his arms from the best kind of exhaustion. You’d wake up to him kissing your forehead and holding you upright so he could hand feed you a delicious meal. You’d smile when he told you how much he loved you and that he'd be free of the chop shop soon. And you’d tell him you loved him, too, before he fucked you all over again.

It was going to be a good night.

Appreciate you lovelies indulging me like always and hope to share more when I can. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[7seas-of-ryy]

I Need You | Part 2

Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Author’s Note: I wanted to give more background before I get to the main storyline so that's what this part is all about! Thank you to everyone who took time to read Part 1, it means more than you know <3

Summary: You spend a lovely day in the city and reflect on your life so far.

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Warnings: Blood, mentions of kidnapping and torture, death, let me know if I need to add any others :)

You started off your day at a coffee shop and bakery. You took your time eating a small pastry just enjoying yourself. You already felt better compared to the terror you felt this morning. As you sat at the little table outside of the cafe, you couldn't help but people watch. You had been with the IC since before under the mountain, you witnessed so many vile acts that you liked to embrace moments like these.

So, you watched the table next to you which had a woman who appeared to be writing a book. A smile filling her face as it seemed she found the perfect word to use. Next, you spot a couple walking past the cafe with their child. All three giggling at something, hope of a bright future in their eyes. Then you see a couple at another table, gazing into each other's eyes so full of love.

You wanted that so badly, that love. But if giving up that longing part of yourself meant keeping everyone around you happy, you'd do it. Everyone always assumed you and the spymaster would end up together. You spent every available moment each of you had together. But you knew he was in love with Mor. Then Elain showed up and you witnessed them grow closer.

Azriel was never cold towards you as his affections for her grew, he just didn't see you as often. And after everything they had been through, they deserved that love. You'd accept any bit of his friendship he'd give you, like meeting at the new bakery later.

For now, you needed to stop thinking about that and just enjoy your day. It had been a while since you had a break and you knew you needed it. You were an important asset to the group which meant you were always busy with work.

Growing up, your dad loved to travel, to see different cultures. Since the day you were born, you went with him and your mom. He would travel from court to court no matter how dangerous. He even took you to the human lands, where you found a love for the mortals. Traveling all over and seeing all the different ways of life taught you so much, you became an expert on every court.

In your free time you would study the history of each court, you were highly intelligent and wanted to learn. You loved every minute of it, until a visit to the autumn court. You tried to stay hidden at the more dangerous courts, blend in to learn about them. You would set up camp far away in the woods if you had to.

One morning, you woke covered in blood. At first you believed it was yours and something had attacked you. Only for you to realize your father was laying dead in his bed and your mother was missing. There wasn't even a scratch on you. You immediately ran to see if you could find your mother but there was no trace of her.

You took off running, you didn't even have shoes on. You weren't sure how long you were running for, you didn't know where you were running to. As you were running, you saw shadows appear in front of you, then their owner. Azriel had saved you that day and brought you back to the Night Court.

Rhysand immediately offered you sanctuary and a job. You helped them with research, translations, and your knowledge of the other courts. You were never trained in the physical sense growing up, but Cassian, Azriel, Mor, and Rhysand all took you to train in your spare time.

Azriel always seemed to keep you company as you worked. That was how your friendship truly started. He was always so kind to you and his shadows loved you, wrapping themselves around you any chance they could. He started calling you sunshine one night, stating that no matter how dark he felt he knew he could always come to you for some light. That nickname stuck and everyone in the IC started calling you Sunshine. After everything that had happened to you, you were so happy to have another family.

Eventually under the mountain happened, then the war, and then you witnessed Az give Elain a beautiful necklace. Once it all settled, you knew you should just be grateful to have survived. Be grateful you have a whole day to do things you loved.

After the cafe you went to a few shops. You bought a few toys for Nyx, some jewelry for Amren, and a beautiful sketch book for Feyre. After all that shopping, you were tired and hungry. You grabbed a snack and your book you packed and head over to a big tree. You sat at the bottom of it, enjoying the shade and your book. You didn't know how long you were reading for but it seemed like the day was going by fast.

You decided to head over to the art shops just to view the beautiful pieces that were created. There were so many talented people, the paintings always left you in awe. You ended up buying a painting for your room. You were too excited to get home and put it up. After paying and talking with the artist for a while, you noticed it was almost time to meet Az.

You gathered up all of your stuff and made your way to the bakery. Az wasn't there yet so you chose to wait outside for him. Hopefully he would help you carry some of the bags. You laughed softy thinking you may have gone overboard on the shopping.

You waited and waited and still there was no sign of Azriel. You thought that it was odd seeing as he was always on time. You were starting to get a little concerned when you heard some shuffling coming from the alley on the side of the bakery.

Relief washed over you and you realized he didn't stand you up.

"Oh good, Az, I was beginning to think you forgot about me. Here, can you help me with these bags?" you spoke looking down at your shopping haul and holding them out to him.

There was no response but maybe he didn't hear you.

"Az? Are you there?" You spoke a little louder.

Suddenly a giant man with bright red hair and a sly grin walked out from the alley, no not one. Ten. Ten men walked out and as I looked around to leave I realized there was no one else out here to help me.

Then the leader of them spoke. "You know, I like kidnapping and torturing my targets, but... I love it when they're pretty little things like you."

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist :)

@darkbloodsly @xtreme-shipper @rcarbo1

[reverie-starlight]

{the proposal- kuroo}

on today’s episode of “rev accidentally disregards the polls she made”, we have this fic :3 I actually adore this one, it was so fun to write!! hope you enjoy <3 also… thank you sm for 1k followers 😭🫶🏻 that’s huge, I appreciate everyone sm 🥹

gn!reader, no physical descriptions. fluff fluff fluff. alcohol mentions, drunk reader. dialogue heavy at the start.

“You need to propose to me.”

Kuroo, who is enjoying his drink, begins to choke. “I what?”

You roll your eyes with a barely concealed smile.

“Not for real, silly, just a fake one.”

He looks at you like you’ve gone insane. “I’m not following.”

“We’re broke university students, do you really think we can afford to pay for more than two drinks tonight? If you propose, I bet people would make a drunken mistake and offer to buy us a celebration round.” You wiggle your eyebrows at him as he continues to give you that same incredulous look.

“That’s-“ he cuts himself off before he can finish that thought and starts with a new one. “I doubt that would work. I mean, maybe at a restaurant with free dessert, but a bar? Really?”

“I’ve seen it done in stranger places!” You defend yourself. “Besides, you’ve been sipping on your drink for the past 25 minutes. If the ice had poison in it, you’d be dead by now,” you lean back and cross your arms.

Your boyfriend just shakes his head. “Your mind is a very interesting place. Alright, fine. We’ll do it, but if it doesn’t work that’s going to be really embarrassing. Hand me your ring, I’ll do it when more people are around.”

You only have to wait another ten minutes before a group of business men having a meeting a couple of tables over appear to be drunk enough to invest in young love.

Your boyfriend nods once to signal that he’s going to do it and soon enough he’s on one knee, fake tears forming at the corners of his eyes and a dusting of pink on his cheeks that make you want to kiss them.

(Your heart jumps that the thought that he could do this for real one day).

“You’re the love of my life,” he begins, and you make a mental note that he either has a bright future in acting or his drink really is too strong, despite his insistence that he could handle it earlier.

A lady one table over gasps and draws more attention to the performance in front of the customers.

“And I absolutely adore every single thing about you. I had a whole plan for this, but with the way you’re looking tonight, I can’t wait a second longer. We’ve managed to get many years together already, and I’d be honoured to spend the rest of our lives just like this. Will you marry me?”

You’re genuinely touched at his words and the sincerity in his tone almost makes you forget it’s fake.

Not wanting to make your audience wait much longer, you make a big show of nodding your head and jumping into his crouched form with a loud “yes!”

Drunken cheers are only background noise while you press against his chest. His heartbeat eliminates the chance of you focusing on anything but him.

Kuroo tips his head down to whisper, “think we pulled it off?”

You nod against him and start to get up. He looks over to see one of the drunk business men coming over to greet you.

“Congratulations on your engagement! Let us buy the happy couple some drinks!”

The man’s face is flushed and he gestures to his table. “Order whatever you’d like, it’ll be put on our tab.”

You fake surprise. “Oh my goodness, that’s very generous of you, but we could never take advantage of your kindness like that!”

Beside you, your ‘fiancé’ stifles a laugh but the man doesn’t notice. “No, I insist! You should celebrate.”

This time Kuroo takes over. “Ah… well, thank you, sir. Rest assured we won’t go too crazy.”

The man laughs and claps him on the back. “What a polite couple of kids you are! Reminds me of me and my wife,” he winks before heading back to his table, whistling some tune.

You spin around and look up at your boyfriend with a smug grin. “So what are we getting first?”

A couple of hours later, you’re both stumbling into your campus apartment, giggling and trying to shush each other despite not having any other roommates.

You somehow manage to get through your night routines and fall back into your bed soon after. You’re a far more wasted than Kuroo is (he always drinks less than you to be able to take care of you), so he tries to get you to sip on some water.

He watches you with a silly grin as you fiddle with your “engagement” ring. You’ve since slipped it back onto your index finger where it originally was this evening, but you move it back to your ring finger and fiddle with it.

“I think…” your words are slightly slurred and laced with sleep. “I mean, I know… that I don’t want my real engagement ring to be diamond.”

His grin widens so much his cheeks begin to hurt. “No? So what will it be, baby?”

You form your own smile. “I’m sure I’ll love whatever you come up with. You know me best after all.”

He forces you to take another sip of water when your words don’t get any less coherent. While you drink he thinks of the ruby ring tucked away somewhere at Kenma’s house. You’re far too good at sniffing out clues and he’s never been good at keeping secrets from you.

You’re still in university, it’s far too soon to get engaged for real- you’ve both always said you wanted to wait until you’re done with school- but he’s been saving up for that ring since high school. he’s always knows you would be the one for him.

So when the time comes he’ll be ready. With a speech much better than whatever he said tonight.

“Alright, let’s get some sleep. You’re going to have the worst hangover tomorrow, you haven’t had that much to drink in a while.”

You tug at his wrist before he can shut the lamp off. “Wait, don’t you want to celebrate our engagement?”

“Sleep, baby.”

You pout a bit. “Don’t you think we celebrated enough tonight?”

You stare at him and he sighs. “There’s plenty of time for celebrating our fake engagement some more tomorrow,” he shuts the lamp off and wrangles you down with him. “Now it’s time for sleep.”

“‘m not tired,” you mumble, obviously lying. “I could go all night.”

You settle onto your pillow and he strokes your cheek. “I know, sweetheart, you’re a fighter.”

You nod as you begin to doze off.

He notices the ring still on your finger and he smiles softly.

The hangover you’ll be sporting tomorrow will definitely have been worth it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ty for reading!!! i hope you enjoyed <3

tagging: @emmyrosee @luvring @dira333 @tetzoro

[cobaltperun]

Eternal Flame (6) - Call Your Mom

Jenna Ortega x Female Reader

Summary: For her it’s a passion, for you it’s an accident. And as she continues shining brighter and brighter with each role you are left mesmerized, drawn to her flame and cherishing every time she lets herself be vulnerable with you.

Spotify playlist

Masterlist / First Part / Previous part

Word count: 7.5k

-Throw a punch, fall in love, give yourself a reason-

People around you were already dressed in warm clothing, wearing jackets and coats and warming up with coffee or tea or another hot beverage. Anyone who could spare the time seemed to stick around inside coffee shops or bars or any place that could offer any semblance of heat and cover from the morning cold. Compared to them you were fairly lightly dressed wearing only a thin long-sleeved shirt and jeans, you've kind of gotten used to the cold so this didn't bother you.

You still didn't order anything, instead you were just watching people going up to the baristas to take their orders and sitting down or just leaving for work or school or wherever. All the while, you were stuck here, with your suitcase next to you, and luckily it was for a rather pleasant reason. And the said pleasant reason just caught your eye as she walked right through the door.

Jenna came in with a man accompanying her. You did remember seeing him once when she needed to do an interview for her most recent movie, but since it was a busy day shooting you never got the chance meet him, but you definitely recognized him and you knew he was Enrique, her stylist. Almost instinctually you stood up which got her attention, because yeah, you stood out in the crowd for more than one reason. Your heart soared as Jenna, with a bright smile on her face pretty much ran up to you much to the amusement of her stylist.

She wrapped her arms around you and hugged you tightly. You could feel the slight shivering of her body and it wasn’t caused by the cold as she was properly dressed. In fact the soft material of her long and warm  coat kind of tickled you. No, you knew what the reason for hers shivering was and you felt it too “Hey,” she whispered softly in your ear, as if she just needed an excuse to have her lips close to your skin.

“We'll see each other again, you know,” you assured her, knowing that was the thing making her feel uncertain and worried about the future. You haven't really been a part of this industry for long and she was much more aware of how things worked, how easy it was to never see someone again. On the other hand, you had a living example of a man that kept in touch with plenty of his co-stars so if Hugh could do it so could you. And you would absolutely do it for Jenna.

“I know,” she said, but you could feel her relaxing as the man she came with approached with a fond smile on his face. How much did he know?

The fond smile turned into a teasing grin. “Well I'll be damned, I knew you were eager to see her, but I didn't know you were this eager! If I knew, I wouldn't have kept you at that shop earlier,” Enrique laughed, and you had to grin when you saw Jenna blushing. Jenna blushing was perhaps one of your favorite sights to see.

“Don't tell her that!” Jenna complained as she separated from you and turned to look at her stylist, which also helped her hide the blush from you, but you just patted her on the back.

“Come on, it's adorable,” you said with a bit of a teasing grin on your face. Did you feel slightly bad for teasing her with Enrique? Maybe, but she was just too adorable when she got embarrassed.  You turned to Enrique and offered him your hand. “I don't think we're properly met, nice to meet you I am Y/N,” you said and were honestly surprised when he, instead of shaking your hand, pulled you in for a quick hug.

“Jenna’s been telling me a lot about you, so let's skip the formalities,” accepting this meeting was probably the best decision you could have made because you were hearing so much about what Jenna's been doing behind your back that even missing the plane would be worth it.

You turned to Jenna with the most obvious shit-eating grin on your face. “Is that so?” you nudged her lightly as she suddenly found her feet to be very interesting.

“Let's just order something already,” she mumbled and sat down before you could pull her chair out. Well, you figured that was what you got for teasing her as much as you did.

The three of you made your orders, classics really, tea and coffee, you and Jenna ordered tea and Enrique ordered coffee, an espresso to be precise.

“So, should I get to know you or just let the two of you hang out while I play the third wheel?” Enrique asked and now it was your turn to be embarrassed because this time he was teasing both of you. The truth was this meeting was entirely so you could meet Enrique, and say goodbye to Jenna, but she told you Enrique was curious and this was a good opportunity in her mind. So, you both knew you’d mostly be talking to Enrique this morning.

You ignored the embarrassment and looked him in the eye. “Ask away,” you grinned a bit, hiding the slight nervousness about what he could ask you. There weren’t many things he couldn’t hear from Jenna, and some of those really weren’t something you wanted to talk about.

Jenna groaned and lowered her head on top of the table and hid it behind her hands, but Enrique had his goal and he would accomplish it.

He was having too much fun with this though, and the growing grin on his face was enough of a proof of that. “So, Jenna told me a lot about you, like a lot a lot, but she hasn't told me anything about your previous role.”

You actually felt relief that he asked about that and not something else.

“Enrique, come on!” Jenna clearly didn't want to put you on the spot but you really had nothing to be put on the spot for. You could easily tell them about Logan.

“It’s okay, Jen,” you smiled at her and she seemed relieved, but also curious now. Why didn’t she just ask? “I was in Logan with Hugh Jackman, I played Laura, the X-23,” you just shrugged, kind of enjoying the shocked looks on their faces.

“Wait you were in the Logan?” Enrique asked and then turned to Jenna who was slightly confused, she recognized Hugh’s name, of course, but she wasn’t familiar with Logan. “The big superhero movie, the end of the X-Men, and Hugh Jackman's last time playing Wolverine. It was a big hit back in 2017, hell, for some it’s the best superhero movie ever made,” Enrique explained for you and you saw Jenna remembering the movie you both just told her about.

And that's when it clicked for her. “I remember hearing about it, and my brothers were crazy about it,” she turned to you kind of annoyed “You told me you didn't have a lot of speaking lines.”

You raised your hands in defense. “I didn't! I spent over an hour and a half not saying a single line and even when I start speaking it wasn’t often,” you laughed and it really was like that. Laura was silent for almost the entirety of the movie, to the point of her finally talking being one of the movie’s funniest scenes. You weren't sure anymore but you were fairly certain you didn't speak for the first ninety seven minutes of the movie and then you went into a Spanish rant. Those were good times, and a very fun day on the set.

“Unbelievable,” Jenna shook her head but you could see the smile on her face giving away that she wasn't as annoyed as she was pretending to be.

“Damn that explains the action scenes you told me about,” Enrique told Jenna and then pointed at you “She was doing crazy things in that movie,” he then turned back to you “Was that a stunt double or did you actually do it?”

“No stunt double, I did it all, from jumping on top of the car to jumping over Hugh to fight scenes,” of course all of it was made possible with the ropes and the equipment and all the other things that make superhuman stuff look like the way it does. You remembered just how fun it was to do those stunts, you were a kid, excited to have Wolverine claws and act with Hugh and Patrick. Acting in Logan actually got you into martial arts because you had to take some classes and then you just continued.

Sometimes, you thought that was both a blessing and a curse.

Not that you blamed being on Logan for what happened and what's happening to you because you were absolutely certain that one way or another you would find yourself in martial arts. It would only be a matter of time.

“Guess I know what movie to watch when I get home,” Jenna still seemed annoyed that you didn't tell her any of this before and you just laughed.

~X~

About two hours later the three of you came to the airport and this was it, this was the moment you would go your separate ways. Her and Enrique were going back to California and you were going back to Denver. Jenna didn't want it to happen, she honestly just wanted to spend more time with you, to actually watch Logan with you and not just on her own or with someone from her family. She wanted to see your first movie with you. You were checking your ID and well you looked cute as you lightly chewed on your bottom lip. Were you as nervous as she was about separating? She hoped you were, she wanted to believe that, while she couldn't be sure if you liked her back, you weren't immune to her.

So, and ignoring Enrique’s teasing grin and everything he would be saying to her when they get on the plane, she stepped in front of you and put her hand on you own pushing it down so you would look away from your ID and look at her. “So, I've been thinking. I don't really want to watch Logan alone,” she should have been more direct about it.

You nodded, completely misunderstanding. “Oh, yeah, that's fine. I know superhero movies aren't your thing,” you missed the point you oblivious adorable dumbass.

“That's not what she wants, Y/N,” Enrique laughed and she couldn’t help it, she turned around and stuck her tongue out at him, which just made him laugh harder.

Jenna rolled her eyes at the antics of her stylist and dear friend. “What I meant is, how about you come by my place when you get the time? You know, meet my family and we can watch it together, because I really want to see you,” in more ways than one, she wanted to see you in that movie and she wanted to see you in person, and she wanted so much more from all of this between the two of you.

Jenna wanted you to meet her family, she wanted them to love you as much as she did, and she wanted to watch you get close to them. And maybe if you didn't have any other plans maybe you would come and visit during the holidays, depending on how your own family would react to that.

In her overthinking mind she already pictured meeting your own parents, wondering if you looked more like your mother or your father, or if you were just a combination of the two, and hopefully making a good impression on them. Maybe your parents could come with you one day and meet her parents and siblings and things would go from there.

It was way too fast, way too naïve, she knew that, but there was just something in your eyes that told her she wasn't rushing. That it could very well be the future between you, because that's how softly you were looking at her.

She watched as you swallowed hard and cleared your throat as if fighting something, some emotion that she couldn't exactly put her finger on and then you nodded. “Yeah,” your voice cracked, and you cleared your throat once more. “Yeah, I'd love that,” you said and she didn't understand why you got nervous, but she could tell it wasn't because of meeting her family or spending time with her. It was something else, something you weren't ready to share with her yet, and just perhaps it was related to where you were about to go all those weeks ago.

She’d keep those thoughts to herself for now. “I need to catch a plane, we’ll talk over the phone, OK?” she reached up, cupped your cheek and brushed her thumb across it. “Y/N,” she whispered your name as softly as she possibly could and rose up to her toes as you leaned down. Yet, at the last moment, she just changed her mind and instead of kissing you on the lips she just kissed your cheek. “Have a safe flight, and text me when you get home,” it was actually incredibly endearing how you just froze at the kiss even after she kissed you on the lips in that unscripted scene.

“Of course,” you stammered, and Jenna reluctantly pulled away from you while doing everything in her power to ignore how Enrique was looking at her

“Bye,” she waved back at you and left because missing a plane wouldn't be the best decision she could make right now. Even if she wished she could stay with you or just take you along.

~X~

Hugh was going to have a blast with this. You actually went and did the same thing he did! You fell in love with your co-star on your first role as an adult! Well that was one way to restart the career.

The apartment building you lived in was, for the lack of better term, pretty old but with sturdy and thick walls. Unlike those damn walls that allowed Mikey to figure out your and Jenna’s late-night hang-outs. But it was fairly close to the industrial areas so it was cheap as fuck and probably didn’t have the cleanest air, but you were honestly fine with that. It's been your home since you were about sixteen and a half years old.

You could move out, but given that you were restarting your career and that the gym you were working for wasn't that far away from here you just felt no need to do so. Besides it was a safe neighborhood, and as much as there were some other issues with it you never had to worry about Barbara getting mugged or anything close to that happening, when she visited you.

In fact, the only person threatening the security of your apartment was probably already inside it.

You climbed up the stairs because there was no elevator in the building and just as you suspected the doors were unlocked. “Best friend turned burglar says what?” you yelled from the doors. Cheers for thick walls, you could yell all you wanted.

“What?” Barbara predictably responded and peeked into the hall from the living room with a frying pan in her hand.

“What were you about to do with that?” you asked, more amused than anything and placed the suitcase down by the doors.

“Well, I didn't know if it was you or someone I didn't want to see, which is, you know, anyone but you,” she pouted and rubbed the bottom of the pan. “This baby was going to protect me,” you approached her and swiftly stole the pan right off her hands.

“This baby?” you asked with a smirk that you knew annoyed the hell out of Barbara.

“Not fair, I wasn't ready,” she huffed and tilted her chin up feigning the anger.

The poorly concealed grin gave her away.

“Ha! Like you ever are,” you took the pan back to the kitchen and went to the bathroom to freshen up a bit. “You know you could have just locked the doors,” you told her.

“Yeah, but then you would have to unlock your own door and that just doesn't feel welcoming after coming back home after two months,” her logic was flawed but she believed it wholeheartedly.

“That is exactly the scenario someone wants when they know their apartment should be empty!” you pulled out your phone from your pocket and quickly sent a message to Jenna saying you were back home and safe and sound and then for good measure you just snapped a picture of Barbara and sent it to Jenna.

“And this is the nuisance I found at home. Can you believe my luck? I wouldn't be surprised if she actually spent the two months at my apartment because that's just the way she is,” you were recording a voice message for Jenna just so Barbara would know for sure you were saying that about her.

“Lies! All lies! Y/N loves having me around,” Barbara denied and you kind of forgot to stop recording.

“You do know having someone around also means being there with them, and not in another state while you crash as their apartment, right?” you asked, dryly and if you weren’t used to Barbara being like this your eye would have probably started twitching by now.

“Yeah, sure, whatever you say babe,” she laughed, and you just sighed and shook your head at that and run your fingers through your hair. It never crossed your mind just how much of the conversation Jenna would actually get. You intended just the first bit to be sent, but you unknowingly ended the message right after Barbara called you ‘babe’.

“I'm so lucky to have you as a best friend,” you didn't even bother going to the kitchen and instead just walked around the apartment, noting all the chores that would need to get done. There really was no point in going to the kitchen, as there was probably nothing there. Knowing Barbara, even if she did bring something along, she ate it out of nervousness, so the kitchen was barren and free from any source of nourishment.

“You absolutely are,” Barbara wrapped her arm around your shoulders and pulled you in for an one-armed hug. “I missed you, bestie!”

“It's good to see you too, Barb,” you eventually relented and admitted that you did miss her too. It has been two months and over the years you got annoyingly used to having Barbara in your life. “So, want to grab an early lunch, I'm starving,” you suggested without really having any specific food you were craving at the moment.

“Skipped breakfast?” she half asked half stated and you just shrugged. You had a piece of toast or something this morning. And you had a cup of tea. Could that be considered a breakfast? Well, you figured it depended on who you asked.

“Please tell me you ate well while you were filming,” Barbara had this stern look on her face and you actually smiled at that.

“I did actually. Well Jenna got me into a habit of having a breakfast with her, so I couldn't exactly skip it,” you were smiling because the memories of those days were pleasant but also because you knew knowing that would make Barbara happy.

She knew you sometimes struggled to take care of yourself. You’d just forget a meal or push yourself too hard. The loss of your parents did that to you. “I’m really going to thank that girl for doing something I couldn't,” Barbara said and pulled you into a hug, a proper one this time. “Keep doing that, alright, Y/N? Or I'll have to just steal your phone and call your girl and make her scold you.”

“You are never unlocking my phone,” you laughed at the empty threat, but the idea of getting Jenna involved in your issues truly bothered you.

“Yeah, sure, you know you have the most cliche password imaginable,” she poked you on the shoulder as the two of you have slowly made your way back out of the apartment, this time locking it.

“So, what is it?” you challenged her.

“It's my birthday!” she said with so much confidence you just burst out laughing, as she stood there, all proud and with her hands on her hips.

“I don't even know when your birthday is off the top of my head!” You were lying, you both knew it, but she asked for it! Your password actually wasn't her birthday, but you admired the guts to say it so confidently.

Barbara laughed and began going down the stairs. “Yes, you do know it, and I know you do. And if I tell you what your password is you're just going to change it, so no you're not getting that out of me,” all the while she kept being a few steps ahead of you and almost bouncing her feet excited to have you back once more.

You faked a sigh and looked up toward the ceiling. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Hopefully take me out for a nice meal and pay for it,” she supplied and you figured that would work, and you knew just the place you could take her to.

~X~

Perhaps the most important person in your life, even more important than Barbara, was Hugh. And he made sure to reciprocate that almost family-like relationship. It came easy to both of you, he adopted his children, and you were an orphan for a few years now so the idea of a family bond that wasn't defined by blood wasn't strange to either of you. You've never called him ‘dad’ and he never called you his child but that was the kind of bond you had. You kept turning to him ever since you met him on Logan, and having him in your life was something you were incredibly thankful for.

And getting back into the industry and realizing how hectic and busy everything was just made Hugh’s dedication to keeping in touch with you and always checking up on you stand out even more.

Even though it happened almost four years ago the memory of your panic attacks and everything you did back then was still fresh in your mind.

~X~

‘Worthless piece of shit! You couldn’t do anything!’ those were the only thoughts going through your mind as you pounded the punching back again and again not even caring enough to put on gloves or anything that would protect your knuckles. You just kept punching and punching until your hands hurt and then some more.

The heavy chains you locked the door with when you entered the gym dropped onto the floor and the doors opened behind you but you just kept punching letting all the frustration out.

“Y/N! Hey, wait! Stop, just stop it!” Hugh grabbed you by the shoulders and pulled you back and you didn’t know what stopped you from twisting around and slamming your fist into him.

“Hugh, let me go!” you yelled, demanding, close to breaking as your voice cracked and you still tried to reach for the bag and keep hitting it as if that would change anything about what happened.

“This won't help anyone,” he lowered his tone almost to a whisper, but you heard the pain in his voice loud and clear. “Listen to me, Y/N, this won't help anyone. Not your parents and especially not you,” he managed to pull you back just enough to get between you and the bag and just hugged you. And you finally unclenched your fists, the stinging sensation being almost too much as your hands trembled and drops of blood ran down your fingers. You absolutely messed up your knuckles but that was the least of the pain you felt.

“I can't change anything!” you gasped, burying your face in his chest and clutching at the collar of his shirt. “I'm not- I can't!” you were spiraling out of control, you couldn’t focus, you couldn’t breathe. You felt like you were choking, like you were being pulled under the water and just couldn't come up for air. The chains that kept the doors of the gym locked felt light compared to all the chains holding you down at the moment

“Let it out, I’m right here,” he whispered, patting you on the back. “We'll figure out a way, don't lose hope yet,” he tried to be strong for you, but you just broke right then and there and you wailed sobbing and crying on the verge of a panic attack that only his presence seemed to postpone. You lost count of just how many times Hugh pulled you back right from the brink of despair, but not even he could have prevented everything.

Or maybe he could have, if you approached him and told him what you intended to do.

~X~

The only reason you could help Jenna back when she had her own panic attack was because of how many times you went through them yourself. Sometimes on your own, sometimes with Hugh there to help you, sometimes with Barbara there to watch helplessly because how could she not be helpless? She was the same age as you and just lacked the experience to be able to do anything about it.

A knock on your door brought you out of your thoughts and you hoped to your feet, happy to see Hugh again after probably close to four months. Sure, you kept in touch, you texted and you talked over the phone, but it's still been a long time since you've seen each other face to face.

You opened the door and immediately got swept into a warm, strong hug, one you happily returned. “Looking good kid! I'm proud of you!” Hugh patted you on the shoulders and actually ruffled your hair. You would normally get annoyed by that, but you were just happy to see him and grinned, inviting him in and leading him to the living room where you already had some snacks and drinks ready.

“Right back at you! It's good to see you again, Hugh, though you really shouldn't have knocked. From the looks of it no one that comes in here knocks,” you laughed, although you were seriously considering not even locking the doors when you leave the place. After all, there was basically nothing worth taking, the only things worth anything really were your laptop and phone, and you often carried them with you. But other than those two things you just had a full equipped kitchen, a simple bedroom and living area and not a single piece of furniture in here cost a lot or was worth the trouble of taking it all the way down the stairs.

Funny how money not helping when it mattered made it seem worthless now that you once more had plenty of it.

“Talk! I want to hear everything about filming Scream,” Hugh looked ecstatic over the news that you were once again back in the industry, and you knew why. Well, there were plenty of reasons, first of all he thought you were one hell of a talented actress, seeing as he had the chance to work with you when you were just a kid, but perhaps more importantly he believed that going back to acting would pull you away from underground fights.

Maybe it would. After all Jenna did stop you.

Maybe you could hope that was your ticket out of that world.

“You are going to laugh about this, but I kind of did the same thing you did. I fell in love on the set,” you admitted though you felt extreme embarrassment over saying it out loud.

Like you predicted, Hugh laughed like a lunatic, and you were actually happy to hear him laughing like that. It's been way too long since you managed to pull that kind of laugh out of him. “Jenna, right? That's what you said her name is?” and of course he knew exactly who you were talking about and you just nodded.

“She's just incredible,” you paused, searching for the right words, as if any word could properly describe her. “She’s perfect. I have no words- she is-“ you were just saying things hoping your words would eventually form a proper sentence. “You know, you have to meet her! She's the kindest, most wonderful, and honest, and genuine person I have met in a long, long time,” in the end you managed to put what you thought and felt into words.

Hugh had this gentle smile on his face as he looked at you. “You got it that bad, huh? I'm happy for you, Y/N.”

“Say, you mentioned the movie you wanted to tell me about,” you knew you were changing the subject, too embarrassed to talk about Jenna. You honestly weren’t exactly eager to get that talk from Hugh even though you probably needed one right about now.

Hugh’s smile morphed into a grin that told you he knew exactly what you were doing but he went along with it. “Alright hear me out, you and I in a movie, playing father and daughter. How about that?”

You actually laughed at that. “Isn't that the same thing we did like seven years ago?” that was exactly the relationship you had in Logan and well if you could act with Hugh once again you would absolutely take the chance, but it was funny that you would be cast in a father daughter relationship again. That is if you accept it and then try to get the role and then you get cast in the role.

“I know, but I think you’ll like this one,” he set the script on the table and pushed it toward you so that's how it happened you accepted the script and set it aside to read tonight. The rest of the day you and Hugh spent on catching up on everything that happened over the past few months.

~X~

The late November rain didn’t surprise you much, even if Denver was really sunny. You were just about to fall asleep on your sofa, honestly feeling kind of numb. What day was it anyway? It’s been a few days since Barbara left to see her parents for Thanksgiving, so you’ve been on your own since whenever that happen. Your phone buzzed a few times in your pocket. You were tempted to ignore it, but it might be for the role you auditioned for, the one Hugh mentioned. Work would probably get your mind off things, but it wasn’t work.

It was better. Much better than work.

You smiled when you saw it was a message from Jenna, on Instagram. You opened it and saw it was a couple of photos, one of just Jenna, giving you a thumbs up while holding a piece of icy wind cake and text on the photo saying ‘You’ve got competition.’ You chuckled, figuring her mom made the cake, the second photo was of her family all posing for a family photo and having a Thanksgiving dinner. Damn, so it actually was Thanksgiving tonight.

21:54 Jenna Ortega: Happy Thanksgiving, Y/N! Thanks for the recipe by the way, my family loves it. ❤️❤️

You smiled, she looked really happy in the photos. And her family was huge, she told you, of course, but hearing and seeing a photo were two entirely different things. You still focused on her, on that brilliant, happy smile.

21:56 Y/N L/N: Thanks, Jen, happy Thanksgiving to you too. Save me a piece of cake?

You set the phone aside and figured you could at least drink something, only to remember your fridge was mostly empty at the moment. You really needed to go and get groceries. At least there was some strawberry juice in the fridge and some improvised pasta. Damn, you actually had to make an improvised pasta dish, of all the known recipes you ended up making some improvised abomination. Oh well, at least it was tasty.

22:03 Jenna Ortega: Come and get it Chef. Any chance you could give me a tiny sneak peak into your own dinner?

Well, now that was a tough task to complete. Still, it actually brought a smile to your face. It was almost funny how something as simple as texting Jenna made you feel so much better.

22:05 Y/N L/N: Sure

You snapped a photo of a glass of strawberry juice and sent it to her.

22:06 Jenna Ortega: Come on! Don’t tease me 🥺

You actually laughed at that, you could imagine to look of disappointment on her face.

22:06 Y/N L/N: I’m not, I didn’t make anything, I kinda forgot about Thanksgiving.

You noticed Jenna saw the message and set the phone aside when she didn’t respond. She hadn’t seen her family in roughly two months, hell, she had her eighteenth birthday away from them, so you figured she wanted to spend time with them.

But just as you got up to read the script Hugh left you once more, your phone began ringing and you raised an eyebrow seeing it was Jenna. You picked up and sat back down on the sofa. “L/N Delivery, how may I help you?” you said as professionally as you could with a grin on your face and heard Jenna inhaling sharply before laughing.

“You’re ridiculous,” she said through laughter.

“Yeah, and you love it,” you said confidently making Jenna pause.

For a moment you feared you overstepped some boundary. “I do, don’t I?” she said a bit out of breath and just for a moment she even sounded playful, and you nearly choked on the sip of strawberry juice you just took. “Anyway, how come you forgot?” she quickly changed the subject.

“I lost track of dates, and no one reminded me,” you told a half-truth, you knew it was this week, but you did lose track of the days and dates. “How are you? Are you having fun with your family?”

You could almost hear her nodding and smiled, the chatter of the people in the background wasn’t nearly as loud as you expected, so she probably stepped aside. “It feels so good to be with my family again, I missed them all,” you guessed she glanced back at her family. “I had to do the dished today, and let me tell you, there was a lot,” she wasn’t even complaining, she actually sounded happy.

“Reeree, come on! Talk on your phone later!” you heard a female voice shouting and guessed Jenna was the one being called.

“It’s important!” Jenna yelled back and you felt the warmth engulfing you at that.

“Hey, we can talk later, go have fun,” you told her softly, knowing by now that she just called you to check up on you.

Jenna paused and you waited patiently as she made the decision. “When are you going to come here?” she asked.

“In a week,” you told her, while you and Jenna knew you’d visit her and meet her family, which was, to be honest, a bit frightening, you didn’t know when you would be able to come until a few hours ago, you just didn’t get the chance to tell Jenna about it. It was still only Thursday, so you didn’t think you needed to rush to tell her.

“Okay, I’ll see you then. Are you sure you don’t want to keep talking with me?” she still offered.

“I want you to have a good time and make up for being away from your family,” you assured her. You would never, in your most fever-induced dreams, tell her you didn’t want to talk to her, but you knew how much she missed her family, and you didn’t want to take away from her time with them tonight.

“Okay, sleep well,” she told you slowly, as if giving you one last chance to ask her to keep talking to you, but you remained committed to the decision that you made.

As much as you wished to keep talking to her, you knew you had to let her be with her family. “You too,” you were worried about her insomnia, and you could only hope she could fall asleep and not have troubles with it while she was back home.

Somewhat shaken out of your stupor by Jenna’s call and texts you opened the fridge again. Still, just as you were about to figure out how to celebrate Thanksgiving given the lack of food and drink in your fridge, your door slammed open and the first thing that hit you was the smell of homemade food. “Barbara if that's you I swear I'm going to kick your ass!” you yelled because there was no way a burglar just broke into your house that loudly and was smelling like food.

“Jokes on you my ass was already kicked by the bus I had to sit in! They didn't have the heating on my! My ass is ice!” yup, definitely Barbara. “Turn the heating on, Y/N, or I'll freeze to death and you'll be to blame,” she was actually shivering so off you went to turn the heating on and then you just stared at her, blinking, not sure if you should believe your eyes and ears and nose or just the logic that she should be with her family right now.

“Don't look at me like that I got tired of talking sports with my family. What? Did I say talking? I meant listening about it!” she pointed a finger at you, but then changed her mind and hugged herself to warm up. “And your sorry ass didn't even turn the heating on until I came here, so you should thank me for not freezing yourself. So, win-win for both of us!” she just sat down and dropped the bag filled with food next to her. And this was your life right now.

And you wouldn't trade it for anything, except maybe adding Jenna and Hugh to this as well.

But you figured this was pretty much perfect as it was.

“You're the best, Barb,” you whispered, desperately hoping she didn't hear you.

“I heard that! Say it again so I can record it and keep it to cheer me up I will play it on repeat, I will put it as my ringtone, I will keep it as the soundtrack of my life 24/7, now repeat what you said so I can forever remind you of it,” sometimes you wondered which one of you was an actress because damn did Barbara have a knack for being dramatic.

“I will never say it again,” you denied her the opportunity to have that kind of proof against you. Your pride would not survive it.

“Oh, come on, you know you think that! I know you do think I'm the best,” she kept pushing but you remained firm in your conviction not to ever again repeat those words to her, or well not forever, more like until she put her phone down.

With a pout she did put her phone down and you glanced at it seeing the recording was still on and you just winked at her. You were not about to say it.

“Spoil sport,” she turned the recording off and tossed the phone aside and you glanced at it seeing that the app was definitely closed so you walked up to her because you could never be too careful with her, leaned in from behind and whispering in her ear

“You're the best, Barb,” and instead of being thankful as every friend should be she just went and glared at you because you denied her of the right to record those words.

~X~

Several nights later you woke up in cold sweat as you usually did near the start of December. You set up, breathing heavily and barely holding back a scream of frustration as that same nightmare that plagued you over and over again every time the anniversary of their deaths came close plagued you once more tonight.

You looked outside the window. It was dark, completely dark outside and you knew you wouldn't be able to fall asleep again, and not even knowing what time it was you just slipped out of the bed, put on your coat and boots and just ran down the stairs into the street. It was empty, without even the drunks going back to their homes from another night of drinking, so it must have been really late, or really early but from the looks of it the Sun wasn't going to come up anytime soon.

You just began running, you ran like you were being chased by the nightmare that woke you up. You ran through the snow, the chances of slipping and falling not even crossing your mind for one moment. You were running toward the gym, knowing you could unlock and use it even this late at night. So, you rushed down the streets until you finally reached the doors and looked under the rug for the key. As usual it was there so with shaky fingers you unlocked it and step stepped inside hoping you could work out and exhaust yourself, thus working through all the emotions and tension within you. As if you were drawn to it, you went for the punching bag and you touched it like it was your oldest friend, as if the mere touch against the cold punching bag would start calming you down. For a moment it did, it did calm you down long enough to put the gloves on and then you began punching the bag as strong and fast as you could.

‘Do it, unplug them’ the decision that you made still haunted you. Those four simple words still ruined you almost four years after you spoke them to the doctor. And it wasn’t just those words, it was the fact that every single time you thought back to those words you were left wondering if you made that decision too early. You wondered if you could have pushed yourself just for a bit longer.

You weren't sure for how long you kept hitting the bag, you just knew the intensity and the speed of your punches kept decreasing gradually, until you just felt your like your hands were made of iron and you dropped them to your sides unable to keep going.

And then you just sat down, leaning your back against the wall and looking at the bag. It just wasn't enough, you got exhausted, sure, but it wasn't enough. It couldn't put your mind off it. It just wasn't good enough to be a stress relief.

You stayed like that for some time, just rewinding those events in your head until the doors opened and you saw Davis, the owner of the gym and the man who sent you the message about the event as he called it, walking in.

“Morning kid, figured you would pop up sooner or later,” he said dismissively while picking up the gloves you tossed at your side.

The laugh you let out was hollow. “Am I that predictable? I could have quit since I didn't show up last time,” you mattered but you both knew the truth and more importantly you knew he would say it.

“Why should I bother? I know how you are, I know you can't quit it. You skipped one fight, sure, but from the looks of it you'll be back for the next one, won't you, Y/N?” you hated that he was right. You hated that you thought you had the chance to quit, that you could find another solution only to run back right into this one.

“Yeah, when's the next one?” you asked, hating yourself even more for continuing this cycle.

There was a satisfied smirk on his face, and normally you would be annoyed with that, but the realization that you didn’t have the strength to quit underground fighting shattered your will to complain. “Tonight, actually. Same old place,” it was settles. There was no need to pick you up from somewhere there wasn’t a need to do anything but tell you when to show up and unlike last time there wasn't anyone there to stop you.

Jenna wasn't here to stop you.

So, tonight you will go and fight your stress and regrets away.

And if the guilt eats you up from the inside, then so be it.

How come you never thought of Jenna’s dad being a cop? Or how Jenna and her family finding out would affect your friendship?

In the desire to escape from the past you damn near ruined your future.

Taglist: @lilbitdepressed27 @freakshow2501 @osnapitzmel1 @belatrixdragon @ijustlovemaths

@niqmandu @justspance @mirage018

Masterlist / First Part / Previous part

[cepheustarot]

Message to yourself from the 2024

Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. This tarot reading does not give a 100% guarantee that all the described situations will occur or being ultimate truth. You build your own life and destiny and only you know yourself best.

Paid readings

Pick a pile. Choose one or more pictures. Trust your intuition.

Pile 1: You from the future want to tell you that in general your year will be filled with positive emotions, you will feel very happy and joyful, in your life will be many pleasant memories and bright moments, and all the good memories will be connected to people close to you. This year you will really devote time to your loved ones, as I see you from the future wants to tell you that you have found yourself a good partner and are now happy! Or you’ve become close to someone and they’re an integral part of your life. For those who already have a relationship, your favorite person will make you a marriage proposal! You will also spend a lot of time with your family or loved ones, and that will strengthen your bond. Also next year you will meet new people. In addition, next year you will work hard, but these efforts will bear fruit, you will get a promotion at work, your business will grow and generate income, you will finish a great study and pass important exams. 2024 will be fruitful for you and filled with positive emotions! 

But you from the future want to warn you: you will most likely decide to change your field of activity, work or go into something new, which should be supposed to bring you money, but with this it is better to wait, because this activity will not meet your expectations and you will get which didn’t expect. In other words, it can be a waste of money, time, resources, and unwarranted investment, so be careful and think before you start something! 

The advice that wants to convey your version of the future: most likely at some point in your life you will feel like a squirrel in the wheel, work a lot or have a lot of meetings with people. This whole thing could wear you out. Here the advice is that you take your time and do everything at your usual pace, sometimes you also need to go with the flow, and not rush any events. 

Pile 2: Your version of the future wants to tell you that within a year, you’re going to be faced with problems that will wear you out and you’re going to feel exhausted, both physically and emotionally. You may also be haunted by indecision for a year, lack the courage to commit to something that can bring about new changes in your life, perhaps you will fear the consequences of your decision and will therefore delay. But you will eventually gain courage, you will do as you wish, you will be firm in your convictions and principles, nothing can break you! 

Your version of the future also wants to give you a warning: you should always defend your opinion, your principles and your personal boundaries, you do not need to avoid conflicts (within reason of course) and left to chance., otherwise you risk being manipulated, bend to someone’s opinion, it can aggravate your morale and damage your self-esteem. 

Also your future version wants to give you advice: start thinking about your future, build your own plans. Perhaps this year you left to chance and have no idea what you want to do with your life or what to do next, so 2024 will be a year for you to discover, to know yourself and to be filled with thoughts about your future. Think about the consequences, it is clear that not can be ready for everything in life but competently evaluate your actions and think about what consequences can be. 

Pile 3: Your version of the future wants to tell you not to worry, as the year will be quiet enough for you, without any major changes and difficult moments. As I see it, next year you will pay more attention to work, study or your self-development, you can secure the title of specialist, which will certainly bring you success and good income. In general, as I said, this year you will not have hard periods and in all spheres of life you will have everything stable and sustainable. 

Your version of the future wants to give you a warning: pay more attention to the people you work with or learn from, because they can frame you. It could be people you’ve known for a long time, so be careful! If this is not avoided, your reputation may change, you may be demoted or your academic performance will decline, and this will undermine your self-esteem. 

Advice from you from the future: always remember that you are stronger than you think! And if you encounter obstacles and problems that seem insurmountable, always remember that everything can be solved! You are able to influence your own future and you are always able to do as you would like, take the situation under your own control.

Thank you for reading! I will be glad of any feedback 🖤

[inuyashaluver]

ok so i don’t know how u would feel but would u wanna write for sam kerr maybe? 😶 im desperate for fics abt her

biggest fan - sam kerr

sam kerr x reader

description: in which you are quite literally your girlfriends biggest fan, something she loves more than anyone

warnings: swearing

a/n: it’s sammy! i had no idea what to do at first for this legend but here it is, thanks for the request, lovely! enjoy ❤️

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

you and your girlfriend, sam had a relatively cliché start to your relationship. it was a classic case of being in love with your sister’s best friend. your older sister, caitlin was extremely protective of you, she was two years older and never let you forget it.

when caitlin started football, you followed along, completely unaware of the status the foord sisters would later in the future. but back to square one, when you and caitlin played in the australian u17’s team, caitlin had been called up first. that’s where she met sam, forming a quick friendship. caitlin always bragged to you about the girl, funnily enough you hadn’t met.

it was until you got called up a year after, you finally met the girl your sister talked about so highly. caitlin dragged you around the change room on your first day, introducing you to your new teammates dutifully. and when she got to sam, your cheeks turned pink.

“sam, this is my sister, (y/n), sister this is sam” sam gives you a bright smile, extending her hand out to you, before you could ever reciprocate, caitlin gave you a shove forward, clearly underestimating her strength behind it. you completely lose your footing, stumbling slightly forward and landing in the arms of sam.

both of you look at each other with wide eyes, two warm hands held you at the hip, catching you before you fell. “you alright?” sam questions with a little giggle, you quickly separate yourself from the embrace, your face growing warm. “yeah, sorry” you smile sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck.

“sorry, sissy, didn’t realise you couldn’t stand straight” caitlin lets out a bright laugh, clapping your shoulder somewhat apologetically, “fuck off” you mumble, giving her a little shove.

“we’ll see you around sammy” caitlin slings her arm around your shoulder, dragging you to your cubby which was thankfully next to hers.

as time progressed, both you and sam can’t help but develop little crushes on each other. when you get changed, both you and sam steal glances at each other. and throughout training. and through matches. the amount of times you looked at each other should have been clear indications for both of you - but clearly not.

you were shy, something that your teammates discovered quite quickly during the beginning. though, you began to break free from your shell, with almost everyone except sam. she was convinced you didn’t like her and she needed to do something about it. she was completely entranced by you.

so, she approached caitlin, pulling her aside after training. “hey, does your sister not like me or something? she never talks to me” caitlin eyebrow quirks, “uh, not that i’ve heard of, that girl idolises you” caitlin lets out a laugh, you’d always ask caitlin about sam at any chance you got.

sam is visibly confused, shifting her weight between her legs. her eyes drift to where you stood with alanna, alanna was talking to you about something but your eyes were trained on your sister and your little crush.

when sam makes eye contact with you, you immediately turn red and look away. she watches as alanna teases you for getting caught. this confuses her more. “what do you mean?” sam focuses her attention back in caitlin, “(y/n) talks about you all the time” caitlin groans, “she literally never stops, even if i beg” caitlin laughs again, sam smiles at this, her cheeks going slightly pink.

as sam and caitlin laugh, caitlin’s face suddenly drops. she came to a realisation. “that little shit” caitlin says under her breath. she knew - you liked her best friend. caitlin walks away from sam, rushing off to walk to where you were with alanna. she ignores the protests of sam coming from behind her.

you turn when alanna slaps your wrist, her eyes focused on the incoming storm cloud that was your sister. suddenly, you’re on the ground, caitlin on top of you while she tickles you, one of your biggest weaknesses.

“caitlin” you breathe out, attempting to push her off but she was extremely strong. “why didn’t you tell me?” caitlin continues her relentless tickle attack, “tell you what?” you exclaim breathlessly, “that you like her!” caitlin stops for a moment, both of you just staring at each other. she had an unreadable expression on her face and it scared you. you swallow the lump in your throat and your eyes glance over at sam before refocusing back on your sister.

sam and alanna watch you both helplessly, looking at each other in disbelief before focusing back on the duo on the floor. “i was scared” you whisper, caitlin slightly softens at this, getting off you and helping you up. “scared of what?” caitlin speaks lowly, her eyes tracing over your face. “of you” you laugh, giving her a light shove. she cracks a little smile before returning back to a stern expression.

“are you serious about it?” you nod immediately, she looks right into your eyes, looking for any indications of a lie but finding absolutely nothing. you really did like her.

“okay” caitlin says simply, you look at her in shock. “okay?” you repeat, she nods “okay” she giggles, flicking your forehead and gaining an immediate wince from you. caitlin parts from you, turning to sam, “i know it hasn’t happened yet, but it will, hurt my sister, i hurt you, got it?” caitlin smiles, her hand squeezing sam’s shoulder as she spoke, walking away with a grin.

sam was seriously confused now. she looks at you for an answer, seeing your pink cheeks and nervous body language said everything. you and sam started dating 5 months later.

—

now in present times, you and sam both represent australia and you followed her to play for chelsea. something your sister couldn’t fathom but she still loved you, you think. the woso community labelled you and sam as a favourite couple. you’d both been dating for so long, everyone loving how genuine and special your love was.

and something that everyone noticed, you were obsessed with your girlfriend, exactly the same as all those years ago. it was seen at almost every moment possible.

for instance, during a chelsea match, sam got a goal from your assist. the roar of the crowd for your girlfriend was one of your favourite sounds ever. when she bolts over to you to lift you up in celebration, you look at her with absolute lovesick eyes as she hoists you on her waist. “let’s go, baby!” she exclaims happily, giving you a squeeze and a quick kiss on your lips. the pink dusting your cheeks has your girlfriend smiling uncontrollably.

“perfect goal” you boast, “perfect assist” she says cheekily, placing you back on the pitch with a kiss to your forehead. at the end of the match, you were doing your lap of photos and signatures until you see a sign. ‘(y/l/n) let’s swap shirts!’ you smile, completely intrigued, walking up to the girl and ripping off your jersey, in return she places a simple white t-shirt into your hand.

you unfold it to see ‘i love my girlfriend’ with sam’s face printed on it. you thank the girl profusely, laughing brightly and immediately slipping it on. everyone takes photos of you and your proud grin.

you quickly turn to try and find your girlfriend, spotting her signing someone’s shirt on the other side of the pitch. you thank the fan one more time and tell everyone you’ll be back, all of them laughing at you and your reaction.

you sprint to sam, tapping her on the back with the brightest smile ever. she turns in confusion, smiling at your face “you’re smiley” she giggles, assuming your happy from the win, her eyes then trail to your chest and she lets out a bright laugh.

grabbing your biceps to hold you while she took in the shirt and your grin. she’s smiling so brightly, her cheeks hurt. “baby, oh my god!” she laughs, you just smile at her, “new favourite shirt” you say cheekily, wiggling your eyebrows at her with a smirk.

she laughs harder, kissing you quickly on your lips. you feel her smiling into the kiss, both of you unable to contain your grins. she pulls away and you kiss her cheek quickly. she shakes her head amusingly at the amount of phones filming you, slinging her arm around your shoulder and taking you back to where the fan gave you the shirt.

you smile at all the fans, ready to resume your photos and signatures. sam kisses your cheek and sneakily smacks your backside before running off to where she was before. throwing you a wink and bright smile as she ran off. you shake your head at her with a laugh.

you didn’t take the shirt off when you got into the change room. the girls were teasing you relentlessly. “oh my god, (y/n), you sap!” millie screeches when you walk into the room. you just smile and nod your head, doing a hair flip motion over your shoulder, everyone laughs at your proud expression.

sam gleams from her cubby, looking at you with so much love. you move across the change room, getting playfully shoved by your teammates before settling on your girlfriend’s lap. her hands instinctively go on your waist and your thigh “hello, sammy baby” you breathe out, kissing her cheek again and wrapping your arms around her neck. “hi, pretty girl” she returns the favour, kissing your cheek repeatedly and making you giggle. she smiles into you, her favourite sound was your giggle, especially when she was the one who prompted it.

she moves to whisper in your ear, “i’m a little offended by this shirt, baby” her lips graze your ear and blood rushes to your cheeks. “why?” you whisper back, running your nails over the back of her neck. “i want one too” she smiles, pulling away to face your flushed face. you smile softly, kissing her lips gently and she quickly grasps the back of your head to deepen it. she slips her tongue into your mouth and squeezes your thigh, your breath hitches, humming into her mouth and leaning into her. she clearly loved the shirt just as much as you did.

she pulls away, your swollen lips spurring a smirk on her face. “you’re cute” she remarks, moving to hug you tightly. she tucks her head into the crook of your neck and places a little kiss there, “enough, love birds, please, or i’m calling caitlin!” millie exclaims, moving to grab you off sam’s lap and lifting you in her arms. you laugh when she spins you around.

“you don’t even have her number,” you say challengingly, “oh yes i do” millie smirks, pulling her phone out and showing her contact information to you. your eyes widen and millie places you on the ground. you run over to sam, she stands up to hug you and flips millie off over your shoulder, kissing your temple affectionately.

—

sam did end up getting a shirt like yours, showing it to you proudly when she received it. you wore your shirt all the time, happily showing off your pride for your girlfriend, not even caring about the teasing anymore. you were your girlfriend’s biggest fan, and she couldn’t get enough of it.

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

liked by mbrighty04 and 44,233 others

samanthakerr20: she never takes this shirt off

view all comments

yourname: my favourite shirt FOREVER

↳ samanthakerr20: you’re cute

↳ yourname: you’re hot

↳ samanthakerr20: you’re hot

↳ caitlinfoord: ENOUGH PLEASE

mbrighty04: GROSS

↳ caitlinfoord: i second that

↳ yourname: caitlin!

↳ caitlinfoord: i love you?

matildas: parents

chelseafcw: parents

[yrbladie]

♡ ﾟ˖ ॱ ▎THE WAY THEY HOLD YOU IN THEIR HEART PT2ㅤ𝅄 🌿 ꒱

˖ ࣪ ayato, xiao, baizhu, wriothesley, al haitham

warnings ：maybe ooc in some parts (mostly al haitham), gn!reader, slight pining, reader is called endearments multiple times, tooth rotting fluff, implied marriage, established relationships, very slight angst in some parts, indirect mentions of death (xiao, baizhu), reader is called beautiful (wriothesley), non fluent writer

ㅤThere you were, standing in the sunlight in all of your glory and your beauty. And he wondered, was life always so bright and cheerful or was it just because now he had you?

ㅤAyato fell in love with you for the first time during spring. The flowers bloomed so beautifully as they flew onto your hair, and he wished for nothing more than to be the one to pluck each of the petals gently from you, with every petal a kiss.

ㅤThe second time he fell for you was during a warm rainy day in summer. As he watched you hiding from the rain in a store, your hair was already soaked. There, he spoke with you for the first time ever.

ㅤHis first words to you were, "You'll catch a cold like that, dear.", and the endearment slipped past his lips so easily like it was already your name.

ㅤHe even started to wonder if your name had always been written right besides his in the sky. Always destined to meet somehow someday. Like the gods had taken pity on him and sent you to ease his burdens.

ㅤThe third, and last, time he fell for you was the most impacting for him. It was on a lonely night during winter, when you still looked like spring itself while quietly sitting on a bench, warming a freezing dog with your jacket.

ㅤHe could see from where he was standing that you yourself were trembling. Still, you sat on the bench with snow covering your hair while hugging the dog to your chest, pouring all of your wishes for it to be well.

ㅤOn that starlit night, it was like something pushed him to approach you again. Offering his two hands to carry the poor dog to his house. It was everything he could do for now, but as you settled down on the floor of his house, a warm blanket enveloping you and the dog wagging his tail now by your side, he thought of how well you looked right there.

ㅤIt was like his home was always supposed to be your home, ever since the start.

ㅤNow, he could barely remember the days he hadn't met you yet, shouldering the rain and the thunder in his life by himself. Could barely remember the days where all he did was work so that his family could have a better future. He focused on paperwork so much he forgot to learn about anything else. Even the most basic things like love.

ㅤAyato had always thought to himself that love had to come with a price. That love had to hurt even if a little, that it would be troublesome and destructive. That it would eat away at his everything and destroy his being starting from his heart. That love would burn and make him bleed, leaving only the scars when it left.

ㅤSo at first he didn't want to fall for you, except spring came again and at every sunrise your name was still upon his lips.

ㅤAnd contrary to his first conception of what loving meant, your love was peacefully kind. Like the gentle warm winds of summer that brought the smell of the ocean with it. It was calming, and instead of burning him, it was more like water, nurturing his being and planting flowers in his soul by the day.

ㅤAnd Ayato could slowly feel it, the inevitable sense of belonging to each other.

ㅤYour love for each other was much like that. Sometimes loud with laughter and bright smiles, other times it was quiet with the held hands and shared glances.

ㅤHe always told you "I'll give you one last chance to run away from here before you get stuck with me forever, my love." and you knew that if you truly asked him that, if you really didn't want to stay by his side anymore, Ayato would always let you go, because he loved you that much, that your happiness and freedom mattered more than anything else in the world to him.

ㅤInstead you would tell him, "Then you should get used to me, because I'm not going anywhere, darling." and he would grin so widely like he knew you were going to say that.

ㅤBefore, he was drowning in the things he had to do. Always having to be one step ahead of everyone, always keeping to himself. And he's glad he was able to meet you before it was too late, because he realized you were everything he ever needed.

ㅤJust you being part of his small, little family.

ㅤEvery time your birthday came up, Ayato tried something new. Last year it was a bouquet of flowers he cultivated himself, instead, all the flowers he tried to plant wilted before they could even bloom. This year it was supposed to be a homemade dinner, but all he managed to do was get kicked out of the kitchen by Thoma without a single plate of edible food.

ㅤ"I'm so sorry, my beloved. You have such an incompetent husband." He laughed quietly while sighing to himself.

ㅤ"Oh, don't say that. You just don't have the aptitude for... certain things, is all." You held your tongue before you ended up saying that he didn't have the aptitude for most things, instead.

ㅤAyato caught on to what you meant but instead of replying he simply grinned at your attempt to comfort him somehow. Even though you knew he was perfectly okay.

ㅤ"Then why don't you teach me, my love? I'm sure I would learn lots with such an incredible teacher such as yourself." And you knew he was teasing you, perhaps it was just an excuse to spend more time by your side and less time doing his job.

ㅤBut you also could read the subtleties behind his light hearted words and joking tone.

ㅤHe missed you a lot.

ㅤBeing always busy with his work, he often expressed his sorrow at not being able to always be there for you when needed. The last drop to the storm was when you had gotten sick last time and it only got to his knowledge by a letter sent from Thoma that already had been taking care of you for the past week.

ㅤHe rushed home at that only to find out that you were already almost completely healed. And he wondered how could he have let you slip past his priorities so easily.

ㅤYou knew Ayato felt guilty, by the way he caressed your skin, a touch lighter than a feather while he thought you were already sleeping, and the longing kiss that he would leave at your nape before snuggling closer to your body, his arms enveloping you as if he wanted to shield you from the world.

ㅤYou never really blamed him for anything. You knew what you were compromising for when you accepted his marriage proposal with the happiest of hearts. The proposal that Ayato until this day joked you only accepted out of pity for his sopping wet cat look outside of your doorstep on a rainy night. So many things had went wrong that day that led up to it, but he still called it the most joyful day of his life.

ㅤAnd you would tell him that you accepted him wholeheartedly because you loved him. It didn't matter to you whether he was a pitiful cat in a storm or the Yashiro Commissioner. And you knew you would never regret your decision as you stared at him now trying to conceal the hopeful glee in his eyes. Those beautiful eyes that carried so much emotion sometimes were the exact reason you fell for him at first.

ㅤSo, you just gently tap him in the nose while smiling, "Really now? I'll teach you if you promise you'll be a good student."

ㅤ"Of course. Don't worry, I'll be the best." he replied back, taking the hand you used to touch his nose to kiss your open palm before pressing his cheek onto it. He did it so lovingly it made your heart leap out of your chest.

ㅤHis eyes were filled with tenderness and you knew you were the only thing in his mind now.

ㅤThe flowers faint fragrance lightly pick at your nose as you see Ayato gently closing his eyes to lean onto you, his blue hair softly swaying in the breeze prompting you to raise your other free hand to stroke it affectionately. As you felt him leaning more and more into your body, until you were both intertwined in a tender and gentle embrace, you couldn't help but love him even more.

ㅤHe was a little insufferable sometimes, yes, and sure, he didn't know how to cook or how to take care of flowers, but he was still your little mess of a husband at the end of the day. For as long as you could hold him in your embrace.

ㅤAnd for as long as your love for each other still persevered, and just like in your vows, until the moon fell, forever.

ㅤXiao was the type of lover that one had to take time to understand his hidden intentions with certain actions. He wasn't exactly open to every single experience nor did he feel comfortable at first with many things, so you took your time to unravel his feelings and to nurture his love for you.

ㅤIn the way you would always catch his eyes watching you from afar in a mountain while you went about your way with your shopping, and even when he said he wouldn't accompany you this time he was always there by your side to carry the groceries in an instant.

ㅤIn the gifts left by your bedside table, and the protective talismans you would find inside your bag. It was subtle, in the slow and hesitant way Xiao started to open up to you.

ㅤAnd you could know the extent of his love for you when after a long night, when you laid by yourself on the bed, before you could even fully close your eyes Xiao was already there.

ㅤ"Sleep. I'll watch over your safety", he would say. Even for a minute you wished for his tranquility, that he would lay beside you, but you also knew Xiao was not one you should hurry on these issues. He had been lonely for a long time and all you wanted was for him to take how much time he needed to accept reality.

ㅤYou were fluent in silence and in his quiet presence, after all.

ㅤStill, one night, you stayed up a little bit later, your eyes still closed and your breathing calm despite being awake. You could feel and hear as the adeptus approached your supposedly slumbering figure to tenderly touch your cheek, his touch timid and unsure, like he was scared that even something like that could hurt you.

ㅤ"I'm sorry.", you thought you heard him say at that moment although his whisper was almost inaudible. Your heart hurt and instead of waiting, you hugged him on that night, no words being exchanged between you.

ㅤAll you heard was his mumbled gasp before he finally relaxed on your touch, awkwardly patting your back while leaning his head slightly on your neck, his hair tickling your cheek.

ㅤYou don't exactly know what he was apologizing for, but you decided not to press further and just let him embrace you. Although you had a faint idea of what was on his mind.

ㅤXiao was someone prone to blame himself for things that were outside of his responsibility. He blamed himself when you tripped on the street and he wasn't quick enough to catch you before your knee hit the ground. He blamed himself for falling in love with you and for allowing you to fall in love with him. In his mind, he probably still thought that everything around him was destined to perish one day, and that he was cursed to forever wander alone, his immortality like a tight chain holding him against himself.

ㅤSo on that night, you didn't let him go as usual, and he also didn't try to leave either. That was how he thanked you for your love that night, with his touch that, although ticklish and clumsy, made you feel so loved by this adeptus that had such a big heart but that was often misunderstood.

ㅤFor you, he wasn't the scary guardian of the mountains, nor the Conqueror of Demons, or the noble adeptus. He was simply Xiao, with his wounded heart and fallen shoulders bearing the responsibility of eons of loneliness and pain.

ㅤThe one that would shyly accept your hand as you guided him through streets filled with lanterns and the smell of food. The one who would go above and beyond if only to ensure your safety and happiness.

ㅤHis every little smile was stored in your heart and mind as your fondest memories, and his love for you was as gentle as a feather's touch.

ㅤXiao remembers the first time he met you, it was during the Lantern Festival, and while everyone was enjoying themselves you were by yourself, folding paper with a lonely plate of food by your side. He watched for a while, curiously. Although alone, you didn't seem sad. In fact, you were smiling and happily humming to yourself.

ㅤHe didn't know why, but he felt entranced and approached you slowly, not making contact with you since he didn't want to scare that peaceful moment away. Yet, you turned to him and your smile somehow got even brighter, as if you had been waiting for him for a long time.

ㅤAfter that, you never once left his life.

ㅤFor him, you were his weakness, but also all the source of his strength. You were a mere mortal, your fragile body could barely stand the force of wind itself. And that was one of the reasons that for a long while made him want to keep his distance, but with every smile, every laugh, wave from afar, and plates of Almond Tofu left on the railing from you, just made him want to get closer.

ㅤAnd you fit him so perfectly. In the way you weren't scared of his demons and instead trusted him with all your heart, never failing to still surprise him. In the way you never stood for defeat, always kept trying and also gave him many chances.

ㅤXiao learnt to enjoy life a bit more, to smile a tad bit more often beside you, and he was still amazed at how much he could still learn new things every day with how long he already has lived.

ㅤYou smiled each time he got angry while fretting over your safety, he hated it but he could never take it too seriously for so long. All he could do was protect you as long as he lived, while not wanting to know about how fleeting your life would be.

ㅤXiao knew your time together would flow past him in a second, but allow him to be selfish, even if for just a while, and keep you by his side for a while longer. Just a minute more, just one more eternity.

ㅤIf he could choose, he would choose you in all lives, in all the universes you always spoke about that you believed existed. If they really do, allow him to follow you into all of them. Even if it takes everything out of him.

ㅤHe just doesn't want to lose you too. So, just love him until the stars call your name back to them, and even then, don't forget him. Call his name again, once more.

ㅤAnd he promises you, he'll find you, no matter where you are.

ㅤAt first, Baizhu thought that he definitely shouldn't fall for you, no matter what. There was many more things far more important than a simple chemical reaction of the brain. It would eventually go away if he just focused on something else.

ㅤInstead, the feeling only grew, like roses wrapping itself around his heart, it's thorns picking at his body each time he saw you, standing by yourself from afar.

ㅤIt was to the point even Changsheng started to complain, the doctor's brain seeming to fog up at every moment, his every thought showed him you. Every word that came out of his mouth when alone were words about you.

ㅤEvery time you two interacted was like a new rose bloomed in his chest, a newfound hope of a better tomorrow. With each of your smiles he felt like he could live for a minute more. Your presence was healing and like a breath of fresh air in his tight schedule.

ㅤEvery encounter became longer and longer, until you decided to stay and never really left. Until his things became yours, and now there was a space for your clothes in his closet. Until he could kiss at your hair anytime he wished to and none of you flinched at the contact anymore, for it was never accidental now.

ㅤBaizhu found himself starting to look at another path to follow besides the one that laid before him all his life. Baizhu biggest desire was to search immortality, but now, he sometimes had the foolish thought of what would immortality mean if he lost you in the end?

ㅤIt was a short path, but it had you. Holding his hand for as long he had left. And he wondered, was it worth it? But how could he hope to be this selfish?

ㅤSo he found himself at an impasse, stuck at a crossroads, where none of the paths ended in happiness.

ㅤChoosing immortality, he eventually would see you pass before him, your life going away at a minute's time for him. While choosing you, he would forfeit all chances to save so many more people. And also possibly cursing you to be without him in the end.

ㅤIt was an impossible choice that hung heavily over his heart. But all you did was smile while remaking the braid in his hair, your fingers still as gentle as ever even with the pass of years.

ㅤAnd you would tell him, your voice only but a whisper, "Dear, no matter what, I'll love you to the end."

ㅤAnd he believed you. For you was one of the last things he had that he truly loved in this life.

ㅤTime was oh so cruel, withering away things before they could even breathe properly. Taking things without permission and always leaving with no apologies.

ㅤBut time was also the one who brought you to him, and also the one that seemed to stop, even if for a little while every time he saw you smile.

ㅤAnd Baizhu realized, it didn't matter if it was only in an ephemeral life, or the flow of a thousand lifetimes. He would still love you in the end. To the end, and even after that.

ㅤThe doctor would eventually have to choose between you and the undeniable fate. But for now, allow him to be oblivious. To dream of something he never dared to, a tomorrow that had you in this little life together. Of a family.

ㅤAllow him to hold you closer, until you're engraved in his entire being. So that no matter what happens in this future, he'll always know how your love tasted. And how it was to love your thoughts, and the way you softly spoke his name, to ache for your presence and wish to be by your side.

ㅤSo that he never forget how your hands felt while caressing his face and his back when he got tired and sick. How it felt to finally be taken care of, after years of lonesomeness. That he never forgets how you looked like when you smiled whenever he woke you up with breakfast in bed, or how your hair smelled after the shower.

ㅤBaizhu knew either way his time was running out, and that even forever doesn't last long. But he figured it would be fine, because getting to meet and love you was worth it all. So allow him to offer you his last breath of life before the end.

ㅤThus was eternity, an everlasting feeling.

ㅤWriothesley had met you so long ago, even before he knew what the Fortress of Meropide was. Before, when his life was more full of life and starry skies. And he still remembers how you looked, your smile with a few teeth missing, and the way your knees were always bruised.

ㅤAnd he also remembers when everything fell apart. The day you slowly changed, when you felt like growing up faster, and time took away your innocence far too quickly.

ㅤWhen your smile disappeared and all there was left were apologetic looks from afar and your presence vanishing from his life.

ㅤIt started there, and thus his life was over in a blink. And he was stuck in the Fortress, no more than a teenager.

ㅤWriothesley also grew up after that, your face slightly fading out between memories and responsibilities.

ㅤUntil, he was met with sunshine one day again. When his body was weary and fallen. The first time the Duke ever fell sick, it was then he saw you again. A dreamlike presence between his fever thoughts.

ㅤYou looked older now, but you were still as beautiful as the day he saw you last.

ㅤThe last thing he heard before passing out was your voice, telling him to sleep a bit. And he thought, "What an idyllic dream."

ㅤBut you were still there when he awoke again and it took his breath away in an instant, still thinking that maybe now he was hallucinating. And it took you the longest time to explain that you were working in the Fortress now.

ㅤSometimes, Wriothesley would still suddenly ask you, "Why here?" and to that you would say, "Just because.", but you knew and he also knew that deep down, it was for him.

ㅤHe couldn't help the way his heart still fluttered like that of a teen experiencing his first love, just at the thought of you. He couldn't help but think the Fortress looked a tiny bit more bright with your presence there. That his life was replenished with so much tranquility.

ㅤAnd he would forever cherish every word you said to him.

ㅤHe was so stupidly in love with you, he knew. And probably had been for the longest time now.

ㅤAnd it didn't take long for the love between you both to flourish, and everyone would be a fool to say now that in the murky and damp Fortress of Meropide no flowers could bloom.

ㅤHis infatuation for you was like the gentlestest of lullabies, and the way he cherished you filled your heart to the brim until it overflowed. And no matter how much it spilled, you never minded it too much.

ㅤYou both had lost so much to the ebb and flow of time, and had sacrificed so much to arrive where you are now. So, for today, and the days that'll still come, you allow each other to this serendipity.

ㅤDancing under the faint lights and the seawater smell, while staring into a vast ocean through the giant window. To Wriothesley it was like watching an endless sunset by your side, even though there was no sun to be seen. None of you was especially skilled in dancing, your arms intertwined in all the wrong ways and your legs kept getting tangled up. But still, you remained joined in this messy dance.

ㅤWriothesley felt at peace whilst listening to the calm beating of your heart, and you eased up while hearing his relaxed breathing.

ㅤThe sound of your loud giggles filled the hall with happiness, and the faint music coming from the speakers was all that could be heard for now. And all the guards knew to keep to themselves and not approach that place, not to break the dome that seemed to envelop you both, like your love for each other was an entirely different reality.

ㅤStill, they smiled between themselves. Their boss, the ever so collected Duke, finally the happiest he could be. And they had no one to thank but you for it.

ㅤAnd if Wriothesley knew what they all thought and whispered among themselves, he would agree. For you had brought back his soul from the pit not even he knew it had fallen to. He entrusted his heart wholeheartedly to you, and he would do it a thousand times again.

ㅤSo break his heart a million times, and he would still look at you with a smile on his face and tell you, "Thank you, sunshine."

ㅤAnd if you choose to love him back with all you have, oh be prepared, for he will definitely, without a doubt, never let go of your hand again.

ㅤAnd to you, he wishes to be forever bound. For forever is contained in even a minute and your souls were akin.

ㅤLove was something that made people irrational and out of their minds. That's what Al Haitham thought. So why, why was he constantly thinking about you and felt like he was finally out of the darkness, like a blind man trying to follow the sound of a beating heart. And your heart out of all.

ㅤAl Haitham hated fate more than anything, for if it existed, it meant the choices humans made were all already prescribed somewhere like a finished book with no room for change. Although he didn't really mind living a life like that, he also couldn't help but sometimes feel a bit rebellious.

ㅤBecause there was simply no way to explain the way you were always within the vicinity, no matter where he went to escape from this wretched play and relax, besides fate itself acting. You, and your dense smiles and thoughtless words.

ㅤHe held no hostility towards you, he told Kaveh one day, to which the blonde man could only but sigh in despair and exasperation.

ㅤ“Yes, yes, sure. Whatever you say! Not like you're just feeling this way because you can't understand them like you wished.”

ㅤThat made Al Haitham stop and think for a while. Was that really the real reason that seeing you and talking to you ignited such a flame in his heart? That he simply wished to understand why you had such innocent ways to see the world?

ㅤThe Scribe was known to be a blunt man, someone no one ever wished to cross paths on a normal happy day. But why, he just couldn't seem to want to break your worldview, and he could never say any harsh words to you. The shine in your eyes always stopped him before he could even open his mouth.

ㅤAnd before he even realized, he would get himself staring at you one too many times in silence, while you waited for his opinion on some book you had read. He would do things he never would before merely because you mentioned you liked them.

ㅤ“I like this brand of tea from Fontaine very much! It is very sweet.” Al Haitham remembered what you said one day while sitting by his side in the library, while he was pretending to read again.

ㅤ“It's bitter…” What was even wrong with your taste buds after all?

ㅤHe now could only stare at the romance books piling up on his desk, and the way you seemed to be scribbled on all of the sentences there. Your heart was ascribed to him in all his favorite pages and you were written with all his favorite words.

ㅤWhat was special about you and what made you different from others? He wasn't so sure, but at the same time he dared to say he didn't care.

ㅤHe even sometimes would write his name along yours before catching himself and wondering if he was going insane. And now, he could just smile helplessly.

ㅤIt was a wonder to everyone how sudden Al Haitham seemed to change, not knowing how much he had mulled over it before. The fact he loved you was something he eventually had to come to terms with, and once done, it was quite easy to go on.

ㅤIf someone told him before that one day he would fall this hard for someone, to the point that their presence would be like an apricity in his life and the panacea to all his woes, he would've scoffed at them.

ㅤHow foolish. He thought, but he still allowed you to intertwine your arm with his while strolling around the city. He still stroked your face with gentleness whenever he was close to you, still twirled your hair in his fingers when he got bored from his paperwork, while you sat by his side, involved in your own work.

ㅤEven so, Al Haitham didn't mind it at all. In fact, if fate gave him a chance to go back, he would do everything the same way again for it led to you. He didn't mind the looks people gave him after seeing his love for you, for even before he was already a lunatic. So may he be even more of a lunatic for you.

ㅤIndeed, fate didn't seem all that bad after a while. If it allowed you both to stay together for as long as he could, then Al Haitham, and you, didn't mind being entangled on such unexplainable and pointless things.

small extra:

“You're so troublesome, you know?”

He had once again been dragged into one of your shenanigans around the Akademiya, and obviously you had gotten caught. If it wasn't for his position as the Scribe, he could only fathom what would have happened instead.

It definitely wouldn't include you cheerfully walking besides him like this was the happiest day of your life.

“But you still gave me a very long speech about why you love me anyway on that day during my break from studies, remember?” No matter what, your words never failed to make him shut his mouth immediately.

If there was anyone in the world that could win an argument against the Scribe, that would be you.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ《☆》

˖ ࣪ Guys, thank you so so much for the 100 followers and the 1k notes on "when they lose you" post hehe, I never imagined myself getting this far into writing as I have always been quite insecure with the way I write the things that come into my mind but still, THANK YOU!!

also, thank you for reading this too 💗

[bloatedandalone04]

Cosmic Love

➪the one where you break anakin’s heart after he unknowingly broke yours.

Part 2

Warnings: angst af, emotional cheating (kinda ?), insecurities, self deprecating thoughts, anakin slipping to the dark side and being oblivious half the time, quite possible that the reader is depressed without knowing it

Word Count: 4k

Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine <3

You weren’t sure when things went wrong. You weren’t sure what happened. 

You were in love, you were sure of it, and so was he. The feeling of love still filled your every vein when you thought about the dark haired Jedi, so you knew for a fact that you were still in love with him. 

Anakin Skywalker.

Even his name had your heart racing. 

You couldn’t remember a time when you weren’t in love with him. It was clear that your feelings for him ran deep and had for a long time, long before you even knew what these feelings meant. 

It was only as recent as two years since you had labelled those feelings as love, and ever since then you two had been inseparable. 

Until now. 

The Jedi temple was large and had countless hallways and passages. It was easy to get lost in if you didn’t know your way around the place. It was also easy to walk in on things you maybe weren’t supposed to see. 

Like the way Anakin’s fingers brushed against hers as they greeted each other. Or the way his smile was bright, charming and kind, while hers was shy, genuine and showed the words she didn’t say.

He was slipping away, you feared. 

Or maybe you were.

Maybe you were giving her the chance she had wanted for years to slip in and steal the heart of the man you are in love with.

The man who was in love with you - is in love with you, right? 

Perhaps. 

You felt pathetic for the first time in a long time. Anakin never allowed you to feel anything negative about yourself as he put your worries to rest and helped you fight your insecurities. 

Whenever you felt that sickly feeling of unworthiness creep into your skin, he was right there next to you. He made sure that you always knew just how important and needed you are.

You had a connection and he felt it every time you became stressed or worried about something, and he was always the person who talked you down, both verbally and mentally. 

Was your connection fading?

Is that why you have begun to feel unworthy again, much like how you felt when you first allowed yourselves to fall in love? Is that why he hadn’t seemed to notice your mood that was rapidly declining and the way you would berate yourself in your head?

You weren’t sure anymore. You didn’t know where you fit into his life anymore as he seemed to be thriving every time he left the confines of your secret shared room. 

That room was just a placeholder for what your future plans were. Anakin had mentioned that he had been looking at apartments in the city for the two of you, a place you could call your own, a place where you two can just be together without a care. 

Without the prying eyes of the Jedi or the suspicious glares from the Masters. Without the possibility of falling for someone else. 

You missed him when he ventured outside the walls of your room. You missed him when he was right next to you. He was there, by your side, yet you still missed him. The distance that was steadily growing between you was present every time you were together, something he didn’t seem to notice.

Anakin was clueless of what was going on around him, he was powerless to stop the doubts and accusations that swam in an endless pool inside your head. To keep it simple; Anakin’s entire world was falling apart in front of him, yet he had no idea of the damage that was currently being inflicted on his relationship with you. 

He was oblivious to the ache you felt whenever he was deep in conversation with Padmè, the way your heart deflated bit by bit when he showed off new devices to the Senator, and the dull stab that pierced your being whenever he slipped up and told her stories that he had only meant to tell you.

In all honesty, the man was blind to how his actions were affecting you.

You wished you understood the feelings that overtook your body whenever you caught the two together. It was a heat nearly as hot as fire, a taste as bitter as anything else and a flicker of the thought of not being enough for the man you had been in love with for many years now. The same man who had only been yours for two years.

Though, to Anakin, he had been yours since the minute he set eyes on you.

You were fourteen when you met him, and he was sixteen. It was a few years later when the secret glances and wishful stares just weren’t enough anymore, and at the age of twenty one he had asked you to be his. Your nineteen year old self was ecstatic and clueless to the consequences that would come with forming a relationship with the Jedi, but at the time you didn’t care.

Now, at the same age he was when he confessed his feelings for you, the weight of your actions was finally catching up to you. 

You didn’t regret all that had happened in the last two years, no, not at all. In fact, they were the best years of your life. You just wished you had realized how doomed it was from the start.

Anakin was the brightest and most well-presented Jedi. He wasn’t allowed to form bonds or connect with people in the ways he has with you, yet that didn’t stop his heart from falling for yours when he was just a teen.

With that being said, the relationship had its issues from the beginning, back when the two of you were just relieved at knowing the feelings were mutual. It was never supposed to last.

That much was certain as you sat completely still on the bed, your legs crossed and your hands tucked away in the gap between your thighs. Your robe hung loosely on your form, the silk doing very little to stop the chills that grazed against your skin from the night air that creeped in through the open window. 

Your heartbeat was slower than normal as you tried to push away the negative thoughts that had plagued your mind for weeks now. Closing your eyes tightly, you thought back to past memories of your time spent with Anakin, back when you felt needed and wanted and desired. 

You thought back to your first kiss, the way his lips pressed to yours in a way that told you it was the first one he had ever shared. He had waited years for you, pushed away countless attempts to be the first person he experienced physical love with, all so he could say that you were his first.

His first love.

His first kiss.

His first time.

You remember that night like it was yesterday. Anakin was nervous but never allowed himself to show it as he was far too concerned with making you feel as comfortable as possible. His hand never left yours as his hips rocked into you for what felt like hours, the two of you being completely done for as your sounds mixed together to create a song that only belonged to you.

The night was full of love, need and warmth. Something you had been craving since the second your insecurities came spiralling back to you. 

The door opened, followed by the one that led into your bedroom. 

Anakin froze in the doorway, his gloved hand still on the knob as he looked at your tense form. He debated on whether or not to turn back around and apologise later for interrupting your meditation, but when your eyes opened to meet his he knew he was too late. 

So, instead, he closed the door, set his lightsaber onto the dresser next to it before crossing the room and reaching for the window. “It’s cold tonight,” he said as he pulled the window shut and covered the glass with the dark curtains. When you didn’t respond to him, and didn’t even look at him, he walked the few steps towards the bed and reached out to you. “You must be freezing-”

His words die on his tongue when you involuntarily flinch away from him, his dark brows coming together in a furrow. 

“What’s wrong?” He questioned, forgoing his original plan to dress himself in his sleep attire before joining you on the bed. Still covered by the long clothes he had been wearing all day, he sat beside you and tried his best to get you to meet his eyes. “Talk to me, my love.”

Your bottom lip quivered as you refused to look at him, your hands moving to rest on your knees. “I can’t,” it came out as a whisper and the lack of your usual cheery voice had Anakin’s eyes narrowing in worry.

“Why not?” He wanted to touch you but he also knew your limits. Right now you were well past the point of being completely closed off and he wasn’t sure what he would trigger in you if he were to take your hand in his, like he wanted to.

Keeping your eyes glued to the floor, you turn your head just slightly as a sinking feeling takes over your chest. “I fear I’ve fallen ill,” you say quietly, tears gathering on your lower waterline as you finally grant him the gift of making eye contact.  

“What’s wrong?” He asked again, his left hand coming up to gently rest against your forehead. You hate how easily you lean into it. “Are you hurt?”

You nod and close your eyes again, causing a few tears to spill down the length of your face. 

Anakin felt his heart drop at your movement, his hand falling from your head to rest on your shoulder. His fingers gently press into your tense muscles as he asks, “Where does it hurt?”

Not being able to answer him with words quite yet, you bring one hand up to rest against your chest, just over where your heart was beating rapidly now. 

He shakes his head as a quiet sob takes over your body and he quickly wraps his arm around you. Pulling you into his side and running a comforting hand through your hair, he tries to make sense of what little information you had given him. “I don’t understand, angel,” he nearly whispers, not wanting to upset you further as you were clearly in a very fragile state of mind at the moment. “What do you mean your heart hurts?”

Taking in a shaky breath, you pull away from him and miss the look of hurt and confusion that flashes across his achingly beautiful face. “I don’t feel like myself anymore,” you murmur, your words muffled due to the build up of saliva in your mouth. “I don’t feel loved anymore.”

If there was a sure way to break Anakin’s heart, you had just done it with your words. He shook his head quickly, eyes squinting as he looked at you. “How could you ever feel that way?” He asked and placed his hand on your knee, his brows further furrowing when you pulled away from him. “Why won’t you let me touch you?”

“Because,” you whimpered, wrapping the robe around you tighter and bunching the fabric up in your hands. “It hurts, Anakin.”

He reeled back in surprise, your words having completely caught him off guard. “What are you talking about? I’ve touched you many times before, you’ve never acted this way then,”

Shaking your head, you watch as a tear slips from your eye and lands on the sheets below you. “I don’t think you could ever hurt me with your hands,” you trail off, further confusing the poor man beside you.

“Baby,” the nickname was one he rarely used and you knew he was beginning to feel scared, nervous and frustrated all at once as it rolled off his tongue without a second thought. “Talk to me, please.”

You repeat your earlier words, “I can’t,”

Your words and the way you had become so closed in a matter of seconds had his heart beating cautiously in his chest, its way of protecting itself and preparing him for the ache he had a feeling was approaching fast. “Please,” he begged, desperate for anything at this point.

He didn’t know what happened or what was going on in that head of yours, but he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. You weren’t giving him much to go off of and it was driving him wild, his head coming up with various outcomes of this conversation, none of which ended well.

When you didn’t answer him or show him any form of comfort, his body betrayed his mind as it seeked out a sense of normalcy and had his arm reaching out once again, this time his hand wrapping tightly around your wrist when his frustration became too much. 

You turned to him, your teary eyes meeting his scared blue ones. “I don’t see a future with you anymore,” you mumbled, keeping eye contact. Anakin reeled back again, his hand pulling away from your arm as it no longer rewarded him with the sweet feeling that always came when he touched you. 

“What?”

You swallowed harshly, your eyes looking down at the curve of his lips before settling back on his blue orbs. “I’m worried you’ve given your heart away to someone else. Someone who I don’t compare to,” you looked down at your shaking hands, squeezing your eyes shut in hopes to regain a sliver of strength back. “Padmè is a true gem, Anakin. I can see why she captivates you so much.”

Anakin couldn’t let you go on, not when he had no idea what you were talking about. “I don’t understand,” he shook his head, putting a pause to your compliments of the woman he considered a friend and that was it. “What is this about?”

You give him a little shrug, guilty eyes meeting his. “I’ve been feeling lonely, I guess,” 

He looked down as he tried to find the right words to say. A million questions swam around in his head, all of which he had no answer to. 

How had he not noticed this?

How long have you been feeling this way? Lonely, left out, neglected.

Why hadn’t he realised that you were lost and needed him to help bring you back?

He had sworn to both you and himself that he would never leave you alone to the point where you would begin to question his intentions and the meaning of your relationship that he held so closely to his heart. “Why haven’t you told me this?” He asked, then regretfully added, “What does Padmè have to do with all this?”

He wished he didn’t ask about that last part.

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with her. Seems like the two of you have gotten quite close,” you answer the question and continue, “I haven’t seen you much lately, not alone, anyway. Every time I went in search of you, I’d find you with her, talking about the things you have only ever shared with me.”

Maybe you were selfish, but you pushed away all thoughts to keep him by your side. In reality, it was you slipping away from him, not the other way around like you had thought it was. 

Unbeknownst to you, the type of person you are is one who needs reassurance and guidance. Not all the time, not even often. Just every once in a while would suffice. The fact that you hadn’t had a heart to heart with Anakin in months, and the fact that he was MIA half the time, mixed with the return of your past worries only left you feeling abandoned and not needed. 

“I fear you’ve bonded with her without even realising it,”

“No,” he shut that down quickly, his legs moving before his brain could catch up with them. He lifted himself from the bed and stood in front of your shaking frame from your place on the edge. “No. No, stars, how could you say that?”

Your words felt like they were causing him physical pain and he didn’t want to hear anymore. 

You were the light of his life, the reason he fought so hard whenever he was sent away on missions, and the sole purpose of wanting a better future. In all honesty, Anakin couldn’t see a future without you in it. You are by far the most important person in his life and the one he couldn’t live without. It worried him at first when his feelings for you went beyond anything he had ever felt, but you whisked away his worries by peppering his face with kisses whenever he returned to your shared room after a long day and filled his heart with an almost overwhelming amount of love.

Your hands tore away any stress he took home with him in gentle caresses and your smile made any bad and dark day seem a bit brighter. 

Without a doubt, you are the love of his life, and he hates that you have begun to question that, as well as your importance in his life. “I can’t help it,” you say quietly, your voice shaking slightly. “The doubts have come back, Anakin. I can’t fight them on my own anymore. I tried, but I keep failing to feel that sense of belonging like before.”

Anakin fell to his knees before you, his hands reaching for yours and pressing kiss after kiss to the back of them. “Let me help you, please. I can fix this, I can save us, you just have to let me in…just like before,” he felt like a poor excuse of a lover at this point, his failure to realise that you were a shell of your former self now weighing heavy on him, but that didn’t stop him from getting on his knees and begging for forgiveness. A second chance. “Please, my love..come back to me.”

Your eyes shut tightly as more tears rushed down your face and you could no longer look at him. “For months I’ve been wanting to hear you say that,” you trail off, still not opening your eyes and further closing yourself off. “Now that you have….I still don’t feel any better.”

He was too late. “I’m so sorry,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your knuckles before grazing the back of your hand against the side of his face as he stares up at you. “I’m here. I’m still me and we’re still us.”

Even though it was clear you no longer believed that. 

His words should’ve been enough. You should’ve been reassured by now, but you weren’t. You weren’t sure why his words went right through you and you didn’t want to find out just how far you’ve slipped from reality. How far you’ve slipped from him.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, his eyes stinging with unshed tears as he tried desperately to get you to meet his eyes. “My heart is yours, angel. It always has been and it always will be. There is no other person in the galaxy who will ever get me in the way you do. We’re meant to be together, my love. I know we are, you know we are. Why won’t you let me in?”

Your head shakes as you open your eyes, your hand turning in his grip and softly caressing the side of his face, something that never failed to bring him comfort. As soon as he felt his heart start to heal from your touch, all was dulled again as you murmured the words that will haunt him forever. “I’m sorry, Ankin,” you whisper, pulling your hand away all too soon and standing up, making his other hand fall from where it was wrapped around your waist. “We tried.”

Walking past him, you open the door to the room and make your exit. Anakin stands up quickly, his heart beating loudly in his ears as he follows you out like a lost soul trying to find its way back to its person. “Please, please, don’t do this,” he begs as the first of many tears leave his eyes. His hand wraps around your wrist and due to his strength, he successfully puts a pause on your escape. “I love you, more than anything else. Please.”

You tense under his heart broken stare and allow him to place your hand over his heart, where you could just barely feel the quick beats against your fingers. 

“Please, don’t leave me,” he whimpered, pressing your hand harder against his chest. “Please, it hurts.”

The thought of losing you had manifested into physical pain as he watched everything he ever knew be ripped away from his grasp. He was ashamed that the continuous stabs he felt to his heart were the same ones you had been feeling for months, causing you to suffer in silence behind closed doors. 

You hold back a sob as you bring both hands up to caress his face, pulling him down just slightly so his forehead was pressed to yours. Anakin resisted the urge to close the distance completely and kiss you with everything he had in him - his last resort as clearly his words weren’t effective at all - and show you that he really could not function properly without you. 

Instead, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist and he pulled you into him so your chest was pressed to his. “I don’t wish to cause you any pain, Anakin,” you whispered, basking in your last moments with him. With a chaste kiss placed to his temple, you ignore the quiet whimpers that left his lips. “I’m sorry, I have to go.”

You pry yourself away from him and quickly open the door, fleeing into the empty and dark hallway.

Anakin cried out, his hands reaching out for you until your smaller frame used its advantage of being much quicker than him and disappeared from his sight. He stumbled around the dark room, everything feeling a lot quieter and heavier now that your presence was fading away. He fell against the wall, his body giving up and causing him to slide downwards until he hit the floor with a painful thud - a pain of which didn’t register very well as he had become lost.

His head had seemed to dissolve any and all happy memories he shared with you, only being met with the few arguments the two of you had shared during your years together. They hit him harder than they did when they first occurred, something that sent jolts of pain to his entire being.

He would give anything to have this just be the result of another disagreement, one that left the both of you frustrated and angry, but still together. One where, despite your harsh tones, you were still each other’s person. One where you were left with the reassurance that everything would eventually work itself out, as long as you didn’t give up on one another. 

And Anakin Skywalker will never give up on you, even after you had just broken his entire soul and left before he got the chance to pick himself back up and fight for you some more. 

His eyes stay fixated on the tall window, his pupils dilating just slightly as he feels a particularly sharp stab to his heart, followed by a sudden urge to turn everything that surrounds him upside down in hopes to dull the emptiness that had formed within him. 

A darkness circled around him and it was something he had never felt nor seen before. All he knew was that it felt so inviting, so warm and as though it would provide Anakin the comfort he hadn’t felt since he returned home.

-

First time writing for Anakin <3 I'm in my Hayden era (for the 987th time) and currently resisting writing for his other characters.

[spectersgf]

— beach getaway 𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃

pairing: harvey specter x reader

summary: the ocean treated you almost as well as he did. almost.

warnings: very fluffy, sigh. my speciality.

wordcount: 1.2k

a/n: impulsive, silly, not planned or proofread. just wanted to write. just love the beach. just love harvey specter. listened to so much guilty as sin while writing. lord.

(if you want to be tagged in future fics or if you have any requests, let me know! for my other fics, here's my masterlist!)

“Hello, Mr. Specter,” you answered the phone after seeing your boyfriend’s caller ID and contact picture flash on your phone. 

“Hello, Mrs. Specter.” You could hear the playful glint he had in his eye through the sound of his voice. “See, that’s funny because we aren’t married yet.”

“You really are a chronic joke repeater, aren’t you?”

“You love me for it.” Harvey was right – you did love him despite his repeated jokes. He never failed to make you giggle with this joke structure and he knew it. Hence why he never let it go. 

“If you say so, Harvey. How was your day?” you asked, settling on your hotel couch with your freshly made coffee – dash of vanilla, the way Harvey made it for you. You set the mug down on the side table, finger tracing the rim as you listened to your lover’s comforting voice come through the speaker of your phone.

“Oh, y’know. Closed a huge client, saved the world, looked hot doing it.” You couldnt hold back your giggle at his comment. This was a common way for Harvey to respond to your questions about his day, never giving details in the first insance, but never missing a chance to stroke his own ego. “Missed you the whole time, though.”

There was a very common misconception about him – about him being cold and stonehearted. Harvey was one of the biggest softies you’d ever met; he had immediately taken to you when you met 2 years ago and made sure to look out for you, even if he would playfully give you shit. You considered yourself extremely lucky to be let in to his softest and most vulnerable side and you never took it for granted, always ensuring he knew how much you appreciated his trust, and how much it was reciprocated. 

“I missed me, too. And Mike and Donna and Rachel. Even Louis.” You were teasing him and he knew it. Harvey could take it just as much as he could dish it out and it made for a wonderful dynamic between the two of you.

“Yeah, whatever. What did you do today, hm?”  You pouted thinking back on your Harvey-less day, knowing that you had missed him, too. You let out a deep, overly dramatic sigh before responding.

“Oh, y’know. Had a hotel nap, went for a walk on the beach during the sunset, looked hot doing it.” You smiled as you recounted your day in the same style as he did, despite your lingering sadness that he hadn’t joined you on your four-day beach getaway. “Wish you could’ve joined me.” Your pout had returned and Harvey could hear it in your voice.

Just as you went to pick up your mug and take a sip of your coffee, you heard the FaceTime tone come from your phone. You eagerly accepted, bouncing slightly at the thought of seeing your love’s face appear on your screen despite it only being a day since you’d seen him last.

All of your sadness melted away the second you saw him. A bright smile appeared on both of your faces, starry eyed and cheeks slightly flushed. 

“God,” he mumbled, “you’re so pretty.” Harvey’s hushed words made your cheeks flush deeper and you hid your face behind your coffee mug. “Don’t hide from me, pretty girl. The ocean has treated you so well already.”

He was right. You lived and worked in the city, but you needed a beachy getaway to keep you sane and happy. 

“The ocean treats me almost as well as you do,” you whispered, stroking your phone screen with a feather-light touch, heart hurting at the sight of your lover. He smiled in response but didn’t say anything. Harvey was notoriously bad at accepting compliments like this – one’s that complimented his vulnerable and soft side rather than the normal things like his looks or work ethic. “I wish you could’ve come with me. I miss you.”

“I know, baby. I miss you, too. But it won’t be long before you’re with me again, and we’ll do the next one together, abroad somewhere. Okay?”

You nodded your reply, nervous to speak from the threat of your tears falling in front of Harvey. You weren’t sure what had you so emotional, and you could see that it was upsetting Harvey to see you in this way.

“Will you at least stay while I get ready for bed?” You were speaking quietly, needlessly worried he’d reject your idea, craving his presence in your space and his arms around your frame.

“Of course I will. Always do.”

You busied yourself with putting your mug away and brushing your teeth to get ready for bed, you and Harvey engaging in a light and meaningless conversation. He kept joking with you and flirting with you as if you weren’t his long-term partner, and you welcomed the distraction. When you finally got into bed and tucked yourself in, Harvey had done the same. You both stayed on the phone with each other in your sleep, trying to mimic being in the same bed, even though you most certainly weren’t.

───────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ─────────

You were woken up by a firm knock on your hotel room door. The light was cracking in through the curtains and when you checked your phone, the time read 10:43am. You always allowed yourself a lie in when you weren’t in the city, and today was no different. You padded across to the door and checked the peephole, wanting to see who was at your door before you opened it. To your dismay, the person on the other side of the door had covered the peephole; you reluctantly opened the door, still rubbing the sleep from your eyes. 

You heard his voice before you clocked that he was in your doorway. “Good morning, sleepyhead. Did someone ask for a wake-up call?” 

Harvey was in your hotel. At your door. Holding an overnight bag and his signature cheeky smile. Your heart swelled with joy and you immediately jumped into his arms, legs wrapped around his waist, tears prickling at your eyes. 

“You’re here, why are you here, what are you doing here?” Your words were rushed and joined together frantically, eager to understand how your boyfriend was in your beachside hotel rather than his New York City corner office. 

“I missed you, you missed me. Here I am.” He was holding you up with one hand, the other hand in your hair and his bag dropped onto the floor.

You tucked your face into his neck, kissing the skin there lightly, your hand tangled in his hair. “I can’t believe you’re really here,” you whispered, scared to speak any louder in case he evaporated away and this moment was exposed as a dream.

He pulled your head gently out from it’s spot resting on his shoulder, stroking your cheek and still holding you close to him. He leaned in to you, kissing you soft and gentle, as if you’d break right there in his hands. When he pulled away, he leaned his forehead on yours, still stroking your cheek with his thumb.

“Believe it. You needed me, here I am. Now let me in and let’s go back to bad.”

‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

if you enjoyed, feel free to comment/reblog and send in requests! my asks are open! or send me a message! ok ily bye!

taglist: @shadowinthedarkknight @strawberriesareprettycool

[joelsrose]

Roses & Rust

Eek!! Guys this is my first ever Joel slow burn fanfic I hope you guys enjoy !! I have the next few chapters ready to post so please let me know if you want me to post them!!! Super slow burn slay .. enjoy babies xx this is not super accurate to the time jump and age in the game and show - reader is late 20s and Joel is late 40’s early 50’s!!

Next chapter

Summary: In a world ravaged by infection and chaos, survival is all that remains. Once a doctor with a life filled with love and promise, you've spent the last eight years fighting your way through a broken landscape, haunted by the loss of everything you once held dear. When a chance encounter with Joel Miller and Tess brings you into the Boston QZ, your journey takes a turn you never expected. As you both navigate the dangers of a post-apocalyptic world, an unexpected romance begins to bloom, fragile and uncertain, against the backdrop of survival.

Chapter 1: Thorns of Survival

Survival. That was all your life had been for the last eight years. Every step, every breath, every decision—focused solely on staying alive. You grunted as you trudged through the overgrown streets, boots caked in mud, legs heavy with exhaustion. The worn-out, hand-drawn map in your hand was a relic from a raider you’d killed days ago—maybe weeks. Time had become meaningless, lost in the blur of surviving. All you could focus on was your destination: the Boston QZ.

The city loomed ahead, a jagged silhouette against the dull, gray sky. Its once-proud buildings, now hollowed-out husks, stood like tombstones marking the death of the world you once knew. You pulled your jacket tighter around yourself, the chill creeping in as the wind picked up. Every step felt heavier than the last, the weight of your pack digging into your shoulders, but you pushed forward, driven by the faint glimmer of hope that the QZ might offer something—anything—resembling stability.

But that was all it was now—just survival. There was a time, eight years ago, when your life had been so much more than that. You were barely 23, freshly graduated from med school, and engaged to the love of your life. Back then, your future had been bright, full of promise. You’d worked so hard, every hour spent studying, every sacrifice made, all to build a life you could be proud of. The career, the home, the family—you had it all mapped out.

And then the outbreak happened.

You hadn’t been prepared for how quickly it would all crumble. One day, you were planning a wedding, discussing where you’d go on your honeymoon. The next, the world had descended into chaos. The infection spread like wildfire, burning through cities, turning people into monsters. The man you’d planned to spend your life with—your future—was ripped away from you in a brutal instant. The infection didn’t even give you time to say goodbye. You could still hear his voice, sometimes, echoing in the back of your mind, telling you everything would be alright. But it wasn’t. It never would be again.

The ache of his loss never left you. It just dulled, becoming part of you, settling in the empty spaces where your future used to be. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t shake the memory of his face, the way he used to make you laugh, the plans you had both dreamed of. You didn’t let yourself think about it too often—not anymore. It hurt too much. There was no room for that kind of pain in this world. It would swallow you whole if you let it.

Your hand instinctively tightened around the strap of your backpack, feeling the reassuring weight of the medical supplies inside—your last real bargaining chip. An assortment of drugs, benzos, antibiotics. Enough to trade for ration cards, enough to buy you time. You’d managed to hold onto them through every close call, every brush with the infected and the living threats alike. That was your edge, your way in.

As you approached the towering walls of the QZ, the scene before you was bleak. Guards patrolled the perimeter, their faces hard, their eyes scanning the crowd with the kind of weariness that came from years of seeing too much. People milled about, dirty, tired, hungry. You didn’t stand out. You were just one more lost soul looking for a way to survive.

A guard stepped forward, stopping you with a rifle slung across his chest. The scanner in his hand beeped to life as he raised it to your forehead. You stood still, barely breathing, until the small device let out a soft beep—green.

“Move along,” he muttered, not even sparing you a glance as he waved you through.

You stepped past the gate, feeling the weight of the city settle around you. Welcome to Boston.

•••

Your living space was barely more than a box. The apartment, if you could even call it that, was wedged in one of the many crumbling buildings in Area 4, packed with people like you—survivors, or at least, those trying to be. The building was a decaying relic of a forgotten world, its walls cracked and peeling, the floors groaning underfoot with every step, as if the weight of too many broken lives was pressing down on it.

Inside, the room was a suffocating, grim little square. A single cot was shoved against the wall, the mattress so thin it felt like you were lying on the floor itself. In one corner, a rusted sink dripped relentlessly, a slow, rhythmic reminder that time was passing—whether you wanted it to or not. Above it hung a small mirror, cracked down the center. You caught your reflection as you passed by, your braid fraying, dark circles hanging like shadows under your eyes. You barely recognized yourself anymore. That bright-eyed girl from eight years ago—freshly graduated, engaged, so full of hope—felt like a ghost haunting someone else’s life.

A small window, smudged and grimy, let in just enough gray light to remind you there was a world outside. But the view wasn’t much—just crumbling concrete and the ever-present silhouettes of soldiers patrolling below.

The few belongings you had were scattered on a makeshift shelf: an old, dog-eared Murakami novel, a half-melted candle, a crumpled photo of a past life. Everything here felt temporary, fleeting.

Under the poor excuse for a bed, you’d stashed your most valuable possession—your bag of medications and supplies. Hidden away, out of sight. In a place like this, trust was a luxury you couldn’t afford.

The Boston QZ felt like a prison. Every inch of it was crawling under the weight of control. Soldiers were everywhere—stoic, unflinching, rifles always at the ready, their eyes sweeping over the crowds with cold detachment.

You never went anywhere without feeling their gaze on you. They were always watching, waiting for someone to slip up. And when they did, the consequences were brutal. You’d seen it in your first few days—one wrong beep from a scanner, one foot out of line, and that was it. No second chances. No mercy. The executions were swift, cold, and left a weight in the air that lingered long after the bodies were gone.

Curfew was like a countdown to death. 6:00 PM to 6:00 AM. No exceptions. You’d watched as people scrambled to get indoors, their eyes darting nervously at the darkening sky, fear written in every step. No one wanted to test the military’s patience. You certainly didn’t.

For the first few weeks, you did what everyone else did—kept your head down, worked random jobs, and stayed in the shadows. The QZ was a labyrinth of desperation, everyone clawing for a foothold. The ration lines seemed to stretch forever, and the food was barely enough to keep people alive, let alone thriving.

But you quickly realized that wasn’t going to cut it. Not if you wanted more than just survival.

You spent your time observing, slipping through the cracks of the city, watching. Areas 1, 3, and 4 were heavily controlled, military checkpoints at every turn. But Area 5—that was different. It was a world unto itself, tucked away from the watchful eyes of FEDRA. The black market thrived here, an underground pulse of illicit trades and dangerous deals. People did what they had to. And you knew you’d have to do the same.

That was when you saw them.

You didn’t know their names yet, but you noticed how they moved through the market with a calm, quiet authority—like they owned it. The woman was tall, sharp-eyed, her voice low but commanding as she negotiated trades with surgical precision. She knew how to read people, how to get what she wanted without ever raising her voice.

The man was quieter, in his late 40s maybe, with a patchy beard of graying hair and hands that looked like they’d seen more than their fair share of rough work. He didn’t need to speak. His presence alone parted crowds, people stepping aside without a word, their eyes flicking nervously in his direction as if they knew better than to cross him.

You watched them for days, curiosity gnawing at you. Who were they? How had they carved out a space for themselves in this cutthroat world? They were always together, moving in sync, but their relationship was unclear. Partners? Lovers? Friends? You didn’t know—and for some reason, it bothered you that you couldn’t tell.

But one thing was certain: they weren’t just surviving. They were thriving. And if you wanted to last here, you needed to figure out how.

•••

The sun was just beginning to set, casting long shadows across the streets as the QZ slowly shifted from its harsh, daylight routine into something even darker. You stood by your window, watching the light fade, waiting for the right moment. The curfew would soon push everyone inside, and the soldiers would become more scarce. You’d been observing their patrols for days, mapping out the routes they took, the blind spots they didn’t bother covering. After all, Area 5 was its own beast, and even FEDRA seemed to know it wasn’t worth patrolling too heavily.

This wasn’t just a gamble—it was the result of days of careful planning. You had finally managed to set up your first trade, something you never would have attempted when you first arrived in the QZ. The world of smuggling and black-market dealings had been foreign to you then, a stark contrast to your life as a doctor. But now, with ration cards running low and survival becoming more desperate by the day, you had no choice but to adapt.

When the streets were finally cloaked in darkness, you grabbed the bag of benzos from under your bed. Your heart hammered in your chest as you slid the strap over your shoulder, casting a glance at the small mirror by the sink.

The alleyways were quieter now, the usual shuffle of desperate people retreating behind closed doors. The only sound was the distant hum of generators and the occasional clatter of boots on concrete. You took the path you’d memorized, the one that snaked through the backstreets where FEDRA never seemed to bother. Every step felt heavier than the last, your nerves gnawing at you. But you kept going.

The alley where the trade would go down was just ahead. Dark and narrow, it was tucked between two abandoned buildings, far from the reach of the patrols. You’d seen it used before—traders slipping in and out, never lingering too long. It seemed perfect for what you needed, but still, the unease in your stomach hadn’t left.

You arrived first, of course. You leaned against the damp brick wall, the weight of the bag heavy against your side as you waited. Your breath was shallow, hands slightly trembling as you clutched the strap tighter. You tried to shake it off. You’d seen others make trades here—dangerous deals, sure, but ones that had paid off.

But as the minutes ticked by, the unease twisted deeper.

He was late.

The alley was darker than you expected, shadows swallowing everything except the faint glow of the streetlight far at the entrance. When he finally appeared, slithering out of the shadows, his grin was wide and crooked, eyes gleaming with something you didn’t like.

“Well, if I knew my trader was such a fine young thing, I would've dressed up for the occasion,” he drawled, his voice dripping with false charm.

Your stomach twisted, regret settling in like a heavy stone. This was a mistake.

You steeled yourself, jaw tight, and handed him the bag. “I’ve got your stuff.”

His smirk deepened as he took it from you, the way his eyes lingered making your skin crawl. “Relax, darlin’. Doesn’t have to be all business,” he murmured, stepping closer, his fingers brushing your arm.

Your blood ran cold. His hand lingered too long, his body closing the space between you, and you felt panic surge. You’d faced the infected, raiders, betrayal—but men like him were something worse. They looked at you like you were nothing but an opportunity. Your heart raced, but your feet stayed frozen, rooted to the ground by fear.

And then, a voice cut through the dark.

“Let her go.”

The voice was low, steady, with a hint of an accent—something southern, but rough around the edges. It sent a chill down your spine.

The thug stiffened, his smirk fading as he glanced over your shoulder. You turned slowly, and there he was—the man you’d been watching for weeks. Tall, broad-shouldered, his eyes cold and sharp as steel. The weight of his presence was enough to make the trader in front of you hesitate.

“This isn’t your business, man,” the thug sneered, though there was a crack of fear in his voice.

The man took a step forward, his hand resting casually on the gun at his hip. “It is now.”

The tension in the air was thick, almost tangible. The thug wasn’t stupid. He knew when he was outmatched. With a frustrated growl, he tossed the bag of benzos at your feet and slunk back into the shadows.

You stood there, heart pounding, too shocked to even say thank you. The man stepped forward, his eyes flicking down at the bag before meeting yours. His gaze was piercing, and you felt like he could see right through you—like he knew exactly who you were and everything you’d been through.

“Next time,” he said quietly, his voice steady, “watch who you deal with.”

And just like that, he turned and disappeared into the shadows, as easily as he had arrived.

You stood there, shaken to your core, but with one thing clear in your mind: your world had just collided with his.

[dee-writes-anime]

Aches, Pains, and Futures in Soccer with Yuji Itadori

FEATURING Yuji Itadori x Reader

SUMMARY You weren't sure what you were expecting when you decided to have a baby with Yuji, but it definitely wasn't being his kid's punching bag.

CONTENT WARNINGS play fighting, silly banter, baby's first kicks, pregnancy trope, yuji trying (and failing) to be a couch hog :(

AUTHORS NOTE This was really heartwarming to write and I actually had a lot of fun! I hope you all enjoy it just as much. Yuji is my special boy and he deserves all the love.

SERIES MASTERLIST

The golden afternoon light filtered through the curtains, casting soft, warm patterns across the living room. You were tucked into the couch, a rare moment of peace settling over you as you absentmindedly scrolled through your phone. But you could hear the telltale sounds of Yuji’s footsteps coming down the hall, and you braced yourself, knowing he was about to enter with his usual whirlwind energy.

Sure enough, Yuji bounded into the room with that signature bounce in his step, looking like he was just waiting to liven things up. He stopped when he saw you comfortably nestled into your corner of the couch, his hands on his hips as he gave you a mock glare.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” he said, raising an eyebrow. “I leave for, what, five minutes, and you’ve already stolen my spot?”

“Your spot?” you shot back with a grin. “Yuji, I’ve been here all day. I claimed this spot fair and square.”

He squinted at you, dramatically suspicious, like he was sizing up a fierce opponent. “You’re telling me that my half of the couch was suddenly yours the second I got up? Hmm, pretty fishy.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the smile creeping onto your face as he plopped down beside you. “I mean, if you want the spot so bad, you could just—”

He wiggled in closer, all elbows and knees, not even bothering to give you the chance to finish your sentence as he leaned into you. “Could just… what? Move you over a little?”

You tried to put on a serious face, nudging him with your shoulder. “Yuji, if you wanted to reclaim this side, maybe you should’ve put down a warning sign or something.”

“A warning sign?” he laughed, eyes bright with that mischievous sparkle. “Come on, you know I don’t need warning signs to get what’s mine.”

Your laughter was immediate, filling the room as you swatted him with a throw pillow, which he pretended to dodge. “Oh really? I’d like to see you try! I think you’re underestimating my commitment to this spot.”

His eyes widened in playful shock, and he grabbed a pillow of his own, holding it up like a shield. “I see. So that’s how it’s gonna be?”

And just like that, you were drawn into the gentlest “battle” imaginable. He shifted closer, playfully pretending to push you over as you pushed right back, all while exchanging goofy banter that kept you both laughing. It felt like being kids again, like no one else in the world mattered but the two of you and the laughter echoing through the room.

“Alright, alright,” he conceded after a minute, his cheeks pink from laughter as he dramatically threw his hands up in defeat. “You win. You can have the ‘prime spot,’ but only because I’m feeling generous.”

You gave him a triumphant smirk, snuggling deeper into your claimed cushion, though your victory was short-lived as he wrapped an arm around you and pulled you closer anyway. “I knew you couldn’t keep your hands off me,” you teased, settling comfortably against him.

He chuckled, resting his chin on top of your head, his arm protectively wrapped around you as if to keep you from slipping away. His other hand found its way to your belly, fingers splaying gently over the small bump. “Well, I mean, you’ve got my kid in there,” he said, his voice softening. “I can’t just not hang out with my favorite people.”

You felt a warmth spread through your chest as he shifted to get a better look at you, his expression equal parts adoration and amusement. “Think they know we’re out here bickering over couch space?”

“Oh, definitely,” you replied, glancing down at his hand on your belly. “They’re probably rolling their eyes in there, just waiting to take after their dad and be just as stubborn.”

Yuji grinned, his thumb tracing gentle circles over your belly as he spoke in an exaggerated whisper. “Listen, little one, just so you know, your dad’s never been stubborn in his life. That’s a rumor your mom likes to spread.”

You couldn’t help but laugh as he went on, murmuring little reassurances to the baby like he was already trying to win them over.

He settled into a calm silence after a while, his hand still resting on your belly, his touch light yet firm. The sun had shifted lower in the sky by now, and the room was bathed in a soft, golden glow. Yuji’s eyes softened as he gazed down at you, a look of wonder lighting up his face.

“What?” you asked, grinning as he stared.

“Nothing, just…” He shrugged, his cheeks tinged pink. “Just thinking about how strong our kid’s gonna be. And hoping they don’t end up stronger than me by age five.”

“Oh, they absolutely will,” you teased, elbowing him gently. “And then you’ll have to get used to having your spot stolen all over again.”

He feigned a look of horror. “You’re saying… I’m not even safe from my own kid?”

You nodded, patting his shoulder as if to console him. “Exactly. Your days of couch domination are numbered.”

“Oh man,” he groaned, leaning back dramatically before pulling you with him, letting you settle comfortably against his chest. “Well, if that’s the case, I guess I better make the most of it now while I can.”

And for a while, you just stayed there, tucked up against him, both of you savoring the warmth of the moment. The peace, the quiet laughter, the shared anticipation—all of it felt like a glimpse into the future you were building together, a future that already felt so perfectly, messily, you.

But suddenly—bam!

The force that jolted through your belly was so surprising, so powerful, that it knocked the breath right out of you. You felt a solid, undeniable thump, like someone had just launched a mini football inside you. Your hand flew to the spot, your eyes going wide as you tried to process what had just happened. It was nothing like the gentle, butterfly-like flutters you’d read about in those pregnancy books. This felt like a full-blown kickboxing practice.

Yuji was immediately alert, straightening up with a look of alarm. “Whoa, what was that?” he asked, leaning closer, his eyes wide with concern.

“Uh… I think it was…” you stammered, still catching your breath, “the baby?”

For a split second, Yuji looked almost as stunned as you were. And then, as if a switch flipped, his face broke into the biggest grin you’d ever seen. “No way! Are you serious?” He practically threw himself onto his knees, hands gently pressing against your belly like he was afraid he’d miss the next move. “Did they really just kick you that hard? Already?”

“Already?” you laughed breathlessly, still reeling from the force of it. “Yuji, that was like a mule kick. I think they were trying to send me flying off the couch.”

Yuji let out a loud, delighted laugh, his eyes shining as he looked up at you, clearly thrilled. “What can I say? They’ve got my genes.” He leaned in closer, his face only inches from your belly now. “Hey there, little champ,” he cooed, sounding every bit the proud dad. “That was an awesome kick. You’re already a total powerhouse!”

“Oh, fantastic,” you teased, still rubbing the spot where you’d felt the impact. “You’re already egging them on?”

He just grinned, looking entirely too pleased with himself as he placed his ear against your belly, as if he could somehow hear what was going on inside. “I’m just saying, they’ve got the makings of a real legend here. They’re strong and feisty! I mean, that was no ordinary baby kick—that was like, pro-level stuff!”

You shook your head, unable to hide the smile creeping onto your face as he continued to praise the baby’s newfound strength. “Please, Yuji, they just kicked once. You’re already planning their career path?”

He sat back, feigning deep thought. “Okay, so they’ve got to be an athlete. Martial arts, maybe? Or, ooh, they could go pro in soccer! Or volleyball!”

You rolled your eyes, laughing as he leaned in closer again. “I don’t think they’ve declared their career ambitions quite yet, Yuji. I’d be happy if they could keep it down to a gentle nudge next time.”

He gave you a playful, sympathetic smile, rubbing your back as he nodded solemnly. “Alright, alright, I’ll talk to them.” He bent down toward your belly, speaking in a gentle but conspiratorial whisper. “Hey, little one, maybe try not to knock the wind out of Mom, okay? I mean, she’s got to catch her breath, too.”

The two of you dissolved into laughter, the room filled with warmth and lightness as Yuji kept his hand on your belly, eagerly waiting to feel another kick. He was quiet for a moment, and then he looked up at you, his gaze full of wonder, like he still couldn’t believe it was real. “You know, I think they’re just saying ‘hi.’ Like a little ‘Hey, Mom and Dad, I’m here!’”

You smiled at him, feeling a wave of warmth wash over you. “Well, they definitely know how to make an entrance.”

“Oh, absolutely,” he chuckled. “Gotta stand out from day one—that’s my kid, alright.”

Just then, there it was again: another solid, unmistakable kick, and this time Yuji felt it, too. His eyes widened, his mouth dropping open in amazement as he looked between you and your belly. “Did you feel that?” he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper. He looked completely captivated, as if he’d just witnessed some incredible, once-in-a-lifetime event.

“Yep,” you replied, managing a half-laugh as you recovered from the second blow. “That’s exactly what it felt like last time.”

Yuji shook his head, clearly in awe. “I just… wow. I mean, I knew they’d be strong, but this is something else.” He looked at your belly with absolute adoration, leaning down again to press a gentle kiss against it. “Alright, I get it—you’re here, and you’re awesome.”

You couldn’t stop yourself from smiling as he continued to talk to the baby, his voice filled with excitement and pride. He was already so attached, so invested, and seeing him like this—so full of love—made your heart swell.

“So,” he said, looking back up at you with a cheeky grin, “how many more karate chops do you think you can handle?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” you replied, pretending to think about it. “If they keep this up, I might have to start wearing some kind of body armor.”

Yuji burst into laughter, pulling you close and kissing the top of your head. “Don’t worry, we’ll get you the best protection money can buy.” He leaned back, his arm around your shoulders, and gently squeezed. “But for real, I’m so glad I was here for that. It’s like… they were saying hello to both of us. Like they couldn’t wait to let us know they’re already raring to go.”

You looked up at him, feeling a rush of affection as you saw the pure, unfiltered joy on his face. “I’m glad you were here, too.”

He beamed, squeezing your shoulder again as he leaned down to press a playful kiss to your cheek. “Guess we’d better start training for when they get even stronger. I mean, we’re gonna have our hands full with this one.”

You laughed, snuggling closer to him. “Good thing they’ve got a dad who can keep up.”

Yuji grinned, the pride practically radiating off him. “Oh, don’t worry. I’m ready for this. Bring on the kicks, the chaos… I’m here for all of it.”

TAGLIST

@makingtimemine @strawbrrycat @soraya-daydreams @shokosbunny @saltypuffin1040 @danilights2021 @startwithrecords @obeythebutler @sparklykeylime @surielstea

[navybrat817]

Any chance we'll see tattoo artist Steve soon? 🥺

Here's a bit of Steve's birthday, nonnie.

By Any Other Name

Pairing: Tattoo Artist!Steve Rogers x Teacher!Female Reader Summary: You're the only thing Steve wants for his birthday. Word Count: Over 900 Warnings: Implied sex, implied oral sex (f. receiving), future couple, Steve Rogers (he's a warning, okay?). A/N: Meet Thorn and Rose, set in the same AU as Hottie and Sugar. ❤️ Thank you to @jobean12-blog for chatting with me about this! Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the amazing @firefly-graphics and Steve edit by the wonderful Nix. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

The first thing you thought when you woke up was that you couldn't believe how well rested you were. The sun was already up, shining bright through the window and curtain. You didn't normally sleep in and had no idea what time it was, but you didn't care as you nestled back into the pillow. It was going to be a good day.

If indicated by the wonderful ache between your thighs.

Your eyes widened when the figure beside you wrapped an arm tight around your waist. For a second, you almost forgot that you weren't alone and weren't in your bed. The large body was so warm and solid, practically a furnace. The beard that tickled your neck made the ache in your core throb with need.

So, I did actually sleep with my tattoo artist. It wasn’t a dream.

"Morning," Steve rasped, his lips lightly brushing against your skin as you held back a whimper.

“Morning,” you whispered back.

Your heart fluttered when he raised his head, his deep blue eyes focusing more as he smiled. His blonde hair was slightly dishevled, but he managed to still look perfect. You probably looked like a monster. It didn’t stop him from pressing a kiss between the center of your eyes.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, his muscular arm pulling you a bit closer.

"I'm okay," you replied after a moment, lightly tracing one of the tattoos on his forearm.

"Just okay?" he asked, concern in his eyes.

You weren't sure how to respond. The gorgeous man who talked you through getting your tattoo was practically a stranger. And you slept with him. To say he rocked your world was an understatement. The man shattered you and you couldn’t believe how he was able to put every piece of you back into place.

“Steve, Steve, Steve!”

“That’s it, sweetheart. Scream my name when I make you come for me. I’ve got you.”

The mere memory, along with his chest against yours, made your nipples hard and made you damp between your legs. You didn’t draw any attention to it though. While he didn’t seem like the type to kick you out of his bed, you had no idea where he wanted to go from here.

“More than okay. I slept really well,” you admitted, backing up just a little. He didn’t need your morning breath in his face.

Steve only pulled you closer. “So did I,” he smiled, cracking his neck a little. “And how’s your wrist feeling?”

“Just fine. Thank you,” you said as he gently took it to check. You still couldn’t believe you ran from the chair when he turned the tattoo gun on. Needles weren’t your thing. He managed to get you through it and you were glad for it.

The rose and single thorn tattoo was beautiful and worth conquering that fear.

“I’m glad you went through with it. And I’m not afraid to tie you down if you try to run from me again,” he winked, making your cheeks hot. “I have to say, this is the best way to wake up on my birthday.”

“Wait, it’s your birthday?” you smiled when he gave you a sheepish look. “Happy birthday, Steve. I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything.”

To be fair, you didn’t know and you hadn’t expected to go home with him last night.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” he said, slowly tugging the sheet away. “But do you want to give me something?”

Instead of trying to cover yourself up, you let him fully see you in the sunlight. The way his eyes darkened, he liked what he saw. “What did you have in mind?” you asked, your voice huskier than before.

“Well, Bucky and the guys are having a small thing for me tonight,” he said, lightly running his fingers along your torso. “Would you, maybe, want to go?”

Not what I thought he’d have in mind, but that kind of sounds like a date.

“Sure,” you smiled, happy that he wanted to see you again. “I’d love to go.”

Watching his face light up was almost like you gave him a real gift. “Is it selfish to ask for one more thing?” he asked, bracing himself over you before he leaned down to capture your mouth.

Any self-conciousness about your breath and anything else disappeared as desire took over. His cock was hard, trapped between your bodies as he lightly grinded against you. “That all depends on what you ask for,” you teased as he moved his kisses down your neck.

“Scream my name again. Do it while my tongue’s deep inside you,” he said as you bit your lip. It sounded more like a command and one you knew you wouldn’t be able to resist. “And do it again when I give you my cock.”

“Steve,” you whimpered, slipping your fingers into his hair.

“Louder than that, Rose,” he said, nipping your collarbone and making you giggle at the reference of your tattoo. “And since it’s my birthday, I get to eat as much as I want.”

“You really are going to be a thorn in my side, aren’t you?” you asked affectionately.

“I prefer to be the ache between your gorgeous thighs,” he smirked. “So open up and let me eat.”

Your legs spread without another word. You’d let him have his fill. It was his birthday, after all. And it would’ve been wrong to deny him.

Steve deserves it, right? Love and thanks! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Steve Rogers Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[starryknight-tarot]

𝓨𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓯𝓲𝓻𝓼𝓽 𝓭𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓯𝓾𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮 𝓼𝓹𝓸𝓾𝓼𝓮

pile 1 -- > pile 2 pile 3 -- > pile 4

my masterlist<3 . paid readings

Hello beautiful souls! ✨ Today we will be looking into what your first date with your future spouse will be like. Remember to meditate, take a deep breath and pick whatever pile calls to you the most. Since this is a general reading, make sure to take what resonates and leave what doesn't.

Pile 1

Cards: Page of Cups, Six of Pentacles, Three of Pentacles rx, King of Pentacles, Seven of Pentacles, Strength, Death rx, Knight of Cups Back of the deck: The Lovers

I got A LOT of pentacles for this pile so your fs could be loaded or you or your fs could be an Earth sign so Taurus, Virgo, or Capricorn. If not, you could have a lot of dominant Earth signs in your chart. I am specifically seeing Venus in Virgo. Your fs is gonna want to spoil you during the date. They could take you somewhere really fancy. I am getting very strongly that they wanna impress you. They may insist on paying for everything so you can enjoy yourself. I am getting that they are going to take you to a crowded place. I am seeing an amusement park or arcade. I don't feel like this will be a random place for them, they may go there often. Your person will plan the whole thing and really try to make it perfect and romantic. They wanna win games and get you a big prize. I see them winning a big teddy bear and you hugging it while blushing. They will lead the way and show you a bunch of really cute things that probably teach you a lot about them. For some of you, you will go to a festival and there will be a lot of colorful bright lights and yummy food stands that you guys will enjoy with them. I am getting this person could live or have lived close to you. All smiles and laughs with this pile. Your fs really wants to impress you, they may have had a crush on you before you even knew and really want to make sure everything is perfect. I am getting such a cute vibe for this date it's all so positive for this pile. They may tell you before the date that they want you to relax as much possible with them and to be yourself. This may be because some of you are kind of introverts and maybe this kind of stuff isn't your scene, but they want to show you how fun these kinds of things can be. I feel like if you get overwhelmed at all they will be SUPER supportive and do anything to make sure you feel better. I am getting for some of you, you will know that they are the one from this date or you will know you wanna marry them. I feel like you guys may even end the date with a kiss or a big hug that just feels so right.

Advice Cards:

Your acts of love, kindness, and unlimited forgiveness bestow grace upon you Give up resistance in your current situation Remember that in universal law, all is well and fair A powerful dream will guide you Your spirit wings are unfolding, It is time to take flight! Reflect on one of your blessings

Channeled Songs:

Pile 2

Cards: Judgement, The Star, Two of Cups, Three of Swords, Three of Pentacles rx, The Lovers rx, Page of Pentacles, Four of Wands rx, Two of Swords rx Back of the deck: King of Wands

I am getting that you guys won't even realize that this was your first date until like years later. A very unintentional date. I am seeing some of you drinking a little too much or something, you could be at a bar or just out with friends. If you don't drink, you would just be retreating to your comfort place, some of you that may be a cafe. I am getting that around this time, you are gonna be down in the dumps, I am hearing for some of you specifically love is making you feel sad. Some of you may feel like you have no chance in love or some of you may have just been dumped. I am getting that you will be crying, a rare moment of vulnerability and your fs would approach you. I feel like some of you are gonna feel scared by their presence at first but you will very quickly see they are just trying to see what's wrong and help you out. Your fs is gonna have a strong urge to take care of you and make sure you are ok and safe. They really want to cheer you up, I am hearing they don't like to see you cry. I am suddenly seeing someone with a motorcycle so you or them could have one but I feel like it's more likely them. I feel like your fs will take you from lying around crying and take you somewhere fun (please don't let strangers take you to random places yall unless you completely trust them). I am hearing, I am spending this magical night with you. I feel like you will spend all night with your fs just watching stars and talking about your lives. Things will just feel right, like everything is how it's supposed to be. I am feeling this date will be mostly conversation, just expressing yourself and pouring your feelings out to them and return the conversation almost perfectly. I am hearing some of you will feel like complete opposites but still match each other's energy. I am getting that they just want to listen to you or that they could listen to you talk all day. They will really raise your mood and you will just feel so comfortable with them. They will make sure you get home safely and you guys won't be able to stop think about each other.

Advice Cards:

No better time to exists than right now Make a commitment and follow through It is important to understand and value your own energy Complete the project or task. Something is calling for closure Pay attention to the issue that time plays in your life right now Keep the faith. Stay intentioned. Your perseverance will pay off You are intuitively gifted. Trust your guidance

Channeled Songs:

Pile 3 Cards: Ten of Swords rx, Temperance, Ace of Wands rx, The Magician, The World, The Wheel of Fortune, Ten of Cups, Knight of Swords Back of the deck: Ace of Cups

I keep hearing that this person is your classmates or you could have known them for a long time. Childhood friend vibes. I am getting that you guys could have had a crush on each other for a while now and like everyone knows but you have just never talked about it. I feel like this date will come about very suddenly like one day yall are just chilling and one of you guys is just like, "dude let's go on a date" or maybe not that direct like "let's just go somewhere." and it becomes a date. I feel like you are gonna be the one to ask. VERY random message but I feel like some of you may be Hispanic or Latino. Obviously not for everyone lol. The moment will just feel right and you guys will go hang out and you will just go everywhere. You guys will go get snacks and drinks like lemonade or popsicles. I am getting summer vibes from this date, you could go to the beach. I feel like you guys will just connect like you never have before, it will feel different then other times you have been with each other. I really feel like your conversations with each other will flow more naturally and you guys will be more flirty with each other. I feel like you will be doing a lot of walking, not knowing where you are going or what you are doing but you know you have each other and that feels really comfortable. I am seeing you might be messing around at a playground. During the day you guys will be very active, I see people playing volleyball on the beach and swimming in the water, splashing each other. You guys may also like to tease and playfully bicker with each other. But during the night time it starts to get a more intimate kind of comfortable where you just lay down holding hands on the sand as it surrounds both of you, feeling comfortable in each other's presence and just talking about everything under the sun. I feel like you will have really deep conversations and talk about your future together. I feel like you guys might become an official couple on the first date and also kiss for the first time. I feel like this kiss will just feel so right. Like fireworks are going off for both of you. I am hearing you both have a very destined relationship, your fs could be your soulmate Pile 3.

Advice Cards:

Your heart is a center of intuitive intelligence. Listen to it! You can manifest your heart's desire Make a commitment and follow through Be bold. It's time to leap forward! You are divinely protected. Remind yourself how safe you are Expect good things to come to you

Channeled Songs:

Pile 4 Cards: Page of Cups rx, Eight of Swords, Death, Three of Swords rx, Knight of Wands, Ten of Swords, Six of Pentacles, Ace of Cups, Page of Wands Back of the deck: Three of Wands

I feel like a lot of you have experienced heartbreak, you may have been in an on and off relationship with someone. I am hearing they could have been a karmic. It was unhealthy for you but I am getting you will cut them off for good. Once you are no longer trapped by this manipulative person is when your fs will make a move. I feel like you may need time to yourself after this relationship (I am hearing spirit really encourages some time to yourself, some of you need to learn to love yourself before putting yourself out there again). But I feel like your fs is someone you already knew, I am hearing specifically a coworker. I am getting your fs has had a crush on you for a while now, but was too afraid to make a move. Your fs is really shy but they want to be the one to ask you out. This may be around winter time for you Pile 4. I am getting that you may have barely noticed your fs before they asked you out. When you do go out, they will take you out for dinner somewhere nice. I feel like they will be so nervous and afraid to make a bad impression. I am getting when the date starts they may compliment you a lot and it is all super fluffy and cute cause they are just in awe in your presence. The date may start a little awkward and silly but I do feel like you guys will warm up and have really comfortable conversation. I think you guys will realize you have a lot in common and they will make you laugh a lot. I am hearing you may get stares because you guys are laughing so hard. Your fs will feel very different then anyone you have ever been with. I feel like you both will get really flustered and I am hearing it will just feel blissful. I don't feel like you will immediately realize you are falling in love with them but I do think you will think about your fs a lot after this and you will start spending a lot more time together after this date. You can see the start of something beautiful.

Advice Cards:

You are birthing a new self You are healing at a cellular level Reflect on the state and use of your personal energy You are ready to receive your fortune. Be miracle minded! Practice the pause Make a commitment and follow through

Channeled Songs:

(I really felt called to add a third channeled song for this pile so congrats lol)

Thanks for tuning in₊‧.°.⋆🫧•˚₊‧⋆.

[ghostandsoap]

Beyond the Mask

Simon “Ghost” Riley x Fem! “Gecko” Reader

Tags: Minor injuries. Brief references of child abuse. Maskless Ghost. 

Word Count: 5.5k

“You’re special to me.”

It wasn’t the first time that you had asked.

Every once in a while, you would make the same request to Ghost. It was a request that he always took with ease and understanding of your curiosity. It was a seemingly simple ask, but mutually understood that it was much more important than it seemed.

“Can you please take off the mask?”

But it was a request that he politely declined every time.

“No, love.”

You weren’t the only one who had poked at Ghost to show his face (and been turned down). Just about everyone that Ghost interacted with on a regular basis had asked at one point or another. Soap was the most persistent of the bunch, and he seemed to try harder each time.

So, it wasn’t lost on Ghost that it was a lingering mystery just asking to be solved. He was aware of the fact that it was maddening, which is why he was so patient whenever people asked.

Ghost would admit that as time went on, he felt more and more guilty for turning down something that you wanted. If you wanted something, Ghost would do everything in his power to get it or do it for you. You were deserving of that, and he never wanted you to forget it. But taking off the mask was one thing that he just couldn’t bring himself to do.

He knew that it couldn’t last forever. If he wanted to go steady with you and move into the long term future (which he most certainly did want to do), then the mask was going to have to come off at some point. He wouldn’t want you to commit to something like that without even knowing what he looked like. It was inevitably going to come up time and time again, and eventually he would have to give in.

“Easy, Gecko. Take a load off.” Ghost said, ushering you into the lone bedroom of the safe house.

The stifled groans and muffled whimpers were a sure sign of the discomfort you were in. Each little noise stung Ghost’s heart more and more each time. 

“I look and feel like I’ve been hit by a truck.” You coughed, hobbling into the room quite pathetically.

“That’s because you were hit by a truck.” Ghost said, dropping all of your gear in the corner of the room that he had carried in for you.

“Good point.” You laughed, carefully lowering yourself onto the edge of the bed.

You found humor in the situation, but Ghost hardly found it amusing at all.

It felt like more of a…firm bump rather than an actual hard, physical collision. The truck hadn’t been going nearly as fast as it could’ve been, and the front bumper had really only grazed one side of your body. Still, getting hit by a moving vehicle was bound to cause some damage, and the ever growing bruise on your side was proving that to you. 

Despite the aching soreness and the discomfort, you had been checked and cleared thoroughly of any broken bones or other injuries. You were expected to be moving slow for the next few days, but it was a small price to pay considering that it could’ve been much worse.

Ghost was livid when it happened. 

It was a rookie mistake – quite literally because it was a rookie who had made the mistake of almost running you over. Ghost had no idea who had the bright idea of letting a newbie tag along for this mission. This mission was predicted to take a couple weeks, and he couldn’t fathom how it was a good idea to let fresh blood in on such an important job. 

It had completely been an accident. The team was waiting around for a bit before making the next move of the day when it happened. He had been extremely apologetic (once he actually had the chance to apologize) and nearly came to tears over it. 

Nonetheless, you literally almost became roadkill because the amateur soldier wasn’t paying attention. 

Ghost nearly lost his mind. You had barely enough time to even comprehend what had even happened before the soldier in question had been yanked from the driver’s seat and dragged by his collar for the chewing out of a lifetime. Soap had rushed over to help you to your feet, letting Ghost do all the scolding. 

You weren’t sure what choice words Ghost had used with the rookie, but you could only imagine that he was close to seeing the light of the beyond by the time Ghost had said his piece. 

You managed to make it through the rest of the day without any major issues, although you were much slower and it took the remainder of the day to completely regain your composure. 

Ghost didn’t leave your side after that. He was half convinced that you were going to keel over and die instantly from some unforeseen complication. The rookie definitely kept his distance in the event that Ghost changed his mind about not killing him. 

Ghost felt a little bit better when you finally were able to call it a day. He felt relief knowing that you had the opportunity to get some rest and give your recently rattled body a break. 

“I should’ve choked him out.” Ghost growled, standing over you like the giant that he was.

He knelt on the floor to untie each of your boots, sliding them off of your fatigued feet. He stood back up, one of his massive hands came to the zipper on your jacket, sliding it down the length of your torso until it separated the outer layer completely.

“Ghost, he didn’t mean to do it,” You said, but smirked when you realized what he was doing. “I can undress myself, you know.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle. He manually moved each of your arms one at a time to slip the jacket off of your frame. 

“I know, but I don’t want you moving around too much. I also want to get a look at your side where you were hit.” He explained, motioning for you to carefully raise your arms above your head.

“Why?” You asked, wincing at the sting in your side when you raised your arms.

“Because you’ll lie and say that it’s ‘not that bad’.” He tossed your shirt aside once it was off, revealing your chest and torso.

He took a glance at your affected side that had already served as a canvas for a painting of nasty red, black, and purple. All the way from underneath your armpit down to the top of your hip was visibly roughed up.

“Just don’t want you to worry.” You squeaked when Ghost ran his hand along the area to check for any broken ribs once more.

“I know, baby.” He sighed, giving you the green-light once again for no major issues.

His nerves were settled once again, and he was suddenly aware of how peaceful the room was, and that he had a moment alone with you. The bedroom was cozy and didn’t have much to it. It was tucked away in the back of the safe house, away from the main living space where everyone else was camping out. The moon was shining through the window, casting beams of gentle light all through the room – just enough to be able to see you clearly. His hand cupped the side of your face, your head instinctively cradling into his palm as you made eye contact with him.

“You’re still my pretty girl.” His thumb dragged across your cheek.

“Even when I’m all beat up?” You giggled.

“Absolutely,” He remarked. “You’re still feeling okay, yeah?”

“Yeah, honey. Just tired.” 

“Poor baby.” He purred, taking a seat next to you on the bed. 

He raised the bottom of his balaclava just enough to where he could kiss you. His skull mask had been stashed away a while ago when he was tired of wearing it. His kisses were so much slower and tender when he was feeling worried about you…which was most of the time. When it came to you, Ghost tended to sweat the small stuff.

His grin matched yours when he felt it on the kiss. He had to admit, it was so easy to make you smile. He shifted on the mattress to get situated, leaning his tall frame against the back wall at the head of the bed. 

“Easy, baby. Careful.” He jumped in surprise when you pounced on him, straddling him with a blinding grin on your face.

You hardly even noticed the pain in your side at all now. This was way more important to you.

“Kiss me again.” You whispered playfully, and he laughed.

“I’m trying, but I can’t have you roughing yourself up for a couple of kisses.” He said, his hands running over your breasts through the material of your bra that was still on.

“A couple of your kisses. Not just any.” You corrected.

“Mm. I might give some other places some attention.” He teased.

“Is that a promise?” You gasped.

“Only if you’re good.” He kissed you again, groaning into your mouth when your hips shifted on top of his lap.

He loved moments like this. When you were on a mission (particularly the long ones), it could be a challenge to get to be with you alone. When you had a team around all the time (and Soap’s constant need to know what you and Ghost were up to), finding privacy could be nearly impossible.

A bedroom with a door that actually locked was like a lottery win for Ghost.

He was loving every second of this. It made him think about the next time that the two of you were going to be on leave and you could stay tangled up in his bed for as long as you wanted, wearing nothing but clean bed sheets and each other’s presence. 

He kept a firm, yet cautious grip on your hips to keep you from going anywhere. Ghost loved it when you were this close to him because he could savor every part of you. He never took you for granted, but he surely cared enough to use these moments wisely.

But it didn’t take long for a recurring problem to come to the surface – making out with Simon could be difficult. There was a major barrier that always, without fail, got in the way. 

You huffed when his balaclava slipped back down his face, denying you access from his lips. It was annoying to have to hold the fabric up with one hand and try to roam his chest with the other. This was usually the process: kiss, move the mask, kiss again, repeat. 

Ghost often found it funny how irritated you would get with it, but tonight it felt more like a nuisance to him rather than you. Eventually you stopped, pulling away and letting the balaclava fall back down. Ghost looked at you, his eyes shining with knowingness of what was coming next.

“Can you please take the mask off?”

The famous question. Ghost’s most popular request.

“No, love.”

Usually, you left it at that. If Ghost flat out said no, then you normally wouldn’t push it. Tonight was different though. There was a stronger determination than normal. The circumstances couldn’t have been more perfect. No one else was around to see, and Ghost knew that you would take the mystery of Ghost’s face to your grave.

“Please?” You tried again.

He chuckled, although it was more of a nervous laugh.

“I’m nothing special, doll. I’m just like everybody else.” He shrugged. 

“You’re special to me.” You corrected him. 

He released a heavy exhale that he didn’t even realize he was holding in. Ghost knew that your intentions weren’t anything malicious, and that they were based solely on pure curiosity. He didn’t blame you in the slightest. If he were in your shoes, he knew he would be the exact same way. The two of you spent so much time together, and the two of you shared many precious moments together. If he never got to see your face, then he would be itching to know what was underneath too.

Ghost was thankful that you hadn’t ever pushed him to show you his face. Upon meeting him, you knew the importance of the mask and the purpose that it served. 

“You have seen my face before,” He grumbled. “If you so recall, you walked in on me.”

“That was an accident!” You wailed. “And it was literally for half a second because I turned away so fast. I don’t even remember what you look like.”

“Gecko…” He sighed, a hint of desperation in his tone. “You know I don’t show my face.”

“Ghosty.” You whined, using his nickname that always made his knees go weak.

“You’re really not missing anything.” He bantered, trying to hold his composure.

“Actually…” You hesitated for a moment, because you debated continuing. “I feel like I’m missing a lot.”

Making him feel guilty was never your intention. There was no excuse or good reason to make him feel bad about something that you knew was important to him. But that didn’t stop his stomach from rolling over inside of him the way that it did whenever he felt like he had done something to make you unhappy.

And he knew that you weren’t upset in the slightest, but he still couldn’t help but feel so, so terrible.

“I want to hold your face…I want to kiss you without the mask,” You went on, hoping that he would understand that you weren’t attacking him. “I want to see you.”

That tone in your voice. The whisper of someone that he adored so much was like hearing the song of the soul. He wouldn’t say no to that. How could he say no to that?

“Okay.” He gave a slow nod.

You withheld from making a shocked expression, but that didn’t stop your heart from hitting your shoes and recoiling into your throat.

“Okay…” You echoed, unsure of what he meant exactly.

“The mask can come off.”

Instant fireworks exploded in your nervous system. It was a premature celebration, but it was definitely a step in the right direction.

You had to admit – you were nervous. Certainly not as nervous as he was. You knew how important this was to him, and how strict he was about never, ever revealing his face to anybody. It was an urban legend in a way. The mysterious wonder of what the esteemed lieutenant looked like beneath the skull and the stone cold demeanor. 

It was important for you to be conscious of the fact that your reaction was going to be critical. He was perfect to you already, and whatever he looked like certainly wouldn’t change that. But you knew how sensitive he was about this. Any kind of accidental twitch, blink, or show of a potentially sour expression would freak him out big time. You knew you needed to be as neutral as possible and be sure to be even more encouraging.

“Would you be more comfortable if I turn around while you take it off? Or do you want me to do it?” You asked, being absolutely sure that this went the way that he was most comfortable with.

He paused for a moment, his voice sounding even deeper than usual when he answered.

“You can do it.” 

Chills rushed down your spine, translating into a physical shudder. This felt like you were about to discover the solution to world hunger. It felt surreal, as if this were breaking some foundational law of the universe. 

Every motion felt overly voluntary. You tried your best to hide the slight tremble in your hands when you brought your hands to the area just below his chin. Your fingertips were nimble and careful when you slipped them underneath the fabric. Both sides of his lower jaw touched the pads of your fingers – it was a foreign feeling altogether.

This was the moment of truth. Should you whip it off quickly? Should you ease it off of him to give him some extra time to prepare? You didn’t want to ruin this for him because then he’d never show his face ever again. His hands didn’t dare move from your waist, 

Slowly and carefully, you removed the mask from his face. Bit by bit was revealed to you – his lips, his nose, his cheeks. Each new feature that was shown was the next piece of putting the puzzle together. The rate of your heart grew quicker and quicker with each passing millisecond. 

This wouldn’t change the way you felt about him. You had fallen for Ghost because of who he was, not what he looked like. In all honesty, you wanted Ghost to do this for himself rather than for you. You understood that Ghost didn’t quite see it this way, but this was your way of letting him know that he was safe with you. He didn’t need the mask to protect him from you. 

When you made it to the space just below his eyes, you decided to do it like a band-aid. Get it off quick and lose the anticipation of it all. In a flash of a second, the mask was off and there was no turning back.

And there he was. 

If it hadn’t been for your ribcage holding it in, you were sure that your heart would’ve exploded right out of your body. 

He was looking at you with a fixed stare, terrified to look away or say a single word. He was reading and interpreting every minor, barely noticeable movement in your expression. His skin was glowing in the soft light casted from the moon outside. There was an anxious shine in his eyes, his dark irises were saying everything that his mouth couldn’t articulate. He was scared to death.

His balaclava was clutched in your hands as if it would disintegrate if you let go. His lifeline was in your hold, at your complete mercy. There wasn’t a thing that he could do. He couldn’t take this moment back even if he wanted to. 

He needed you to say something. He couldn’t stand the feeling of all the focus being on him, and he couldn’t tell if he was correctly guessing at what you were thinking. 

You were at a loss for words. This felt like a complete shift in the universe, like everything was different when it really wasn’t different at all. You were stuck trying to comprehend the fact that you were really looking at him – the real him.

And he was beautiful.

You weren’t surprised in the slightest. Even if you had no real way to know what he looked like, you knew from the moment you met him that he was good looking. Ghost himself had even made comments here and there that he considered himself to be rather attractive. 

You didn’t understand it. How could someone so brave, strong, and (again) handsome want to shield himself away from the world? If there was anyone that could take on life with stride, it was Ghost. But there was a simple answer to that. It seemed to be the reason for all of the “odd” things and traits about him. 

He wasn’t always like that.

He had to protect himself. There had never been anyone in his life at any point to do it for him. He never had the chance to be a kid. He had to grow up before he even had the chance to be excited about growing up.

His upbringing had everything to do with the mask and the reason that he wore it. It was his version of a security blanket. It was his protection from the evil of the outside world. Because he had learned at a young age that sometimes the worst evil that the world had to offer came from the ones right in front of you, and the ones that were supposed to love you the most.

“Simon…” 

His name – his real name fell from your lips as a tender whisper. The words were laced with appreciation of his trust and absolute adoration for the revealed man standing in front of you. Of course you had said his name before. He had heard you say it plenty of times. 

But he’d never heard you say it in this context, and he surely had never heard you say it when you were looking at the real him.

There was a moment of panic and discomfort for him. He was suddenly very aware of the fact that he was completely exposed. His most prized security measure had been stripped away – now useless due to its absence from his face. The air of the room felt cold on his skin, another reminder that he had given up his primary line of defense. 

There were a million things that were running through his mind, but every single word was caught in his throat and released out into the air with each of his shaky exhales. There wasn’t a single thing that he knew to say. All he could do was watch you stare at him, raking over him and studying every aspect of his face.

“You’re so handsome, my love.” You spoke again, and the blood in his lower extremities ran boiling hot.

His heartbeat stalled for a beat or so when your hand came to his hair. The balaclava had rustled his hair when it brushed against it, but he hadn’t even noticed. Your fingers ran through his dark hair that was (admittedly) not as clean as it could’ve been. His hands were trembling against your hips, his fingertips drumming lightly against the waistband of your pants.

You seemed content to him, which eased his anxious nausea a little bit. The gentle, yet genuine smile on your face brought some comfort. Every sense of the feeling of you touching him felt heightened to the highest degree. He was aware of every strand of hair that ran through your fingers, every feather-like drag across his cheekbone with your knuckle. 

It felt different for sure. He wasn’t used to someone touching that zone of his body. He definitely wasn’t accustomed to sharing it with someone, but he was thankful that you were being so considerate to how he was feeling. 

“I…I don’t know what to say.” He finally spoke, his words coming out in a quavery way.

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to,” You replied with a voice like silk, pressing a kiss to his forehead that sent a wave of electricity through his core. “I’m just looking at you.”

He almost laughed. That’s what made him so nervous. 

This was definitely not something that he had counted on happening today. He always knew the moment would come, but he hadn’t expected it to happen quite like this. It was a weird feeling that he was having. Even though he was seeing you as the same as he always did, it still felt different. It felt more intimate, more authentic. The mask was resting in your lap, a place that he never expected his mask to end up.

“Pretty boy…” You drawled, cupping his face the same way that he had held yours just a few moments before.

His cheeks burned at that comment. A flush of hot crimson red infiltrated his face to the point where he was sure that you could feel it on your hand. He was exploding on the inside with a million emotions that he couldn’t pinpoint to save his life.  

He was so beyond grateful for you. This was something that he had feared and dreaded for a long time, terrified that you would see him as something other than the image that he had worked so hard to create and maintain for himself. But he was beginning to realize the reality of the situation. 

The truth was, you had always been able to see who he really was. That was something that was special about you. The mask only hid him from you in a physical way. There was never a time where you hadn’t seen the person inside of him, and never once had you held an ounce of resentment for who he really was. 

He had always been Simon Riley to you. 

So in reality, this wasn’t the first time that you were seeing him. This was just the first time that you were seeing the face that went with it. 

“You think so?” He asked, his hands beginning to move from their cemented positions.

“Absolutely I do,” You answered, kissing the tip of his nose. “You’re gorgeous.”

“You’re just buttering me up.” Simon cracked a smile, and your eyes brightened immediately.

“Oh! Look at that smile,” The intensity of your grin matched his. “Happiness looks beautiful on you.”

The words rang in his head and echoed out through his ears. Happiness felt even better than it looked. His most consistent and worthwhile source of that happiness was right in front of him, loving on him as if she thought he was the most perfect person in the world. 

He couldn’t fathom how anyone could feel that way about him. He tried his best not to question it, and instead tried to appreciate it and reflect it back to you. He was grateful for you, and he did everything he could to remind you of that. 

“I’m glad you think I’m ‘pretty’ and all,” He tucked his fingertips into the front of your waistband. “But I’ll never be as pretty as you.”

“Now you’re buttering me up,” You giggled.

You kissed him then. The first real kiss with nothing in the way. Oh, it was a wonderful kiss – and Simon made a mental note that, yeah, kissing without the mask was so, so much better. He wrapped his arms completely around you, smothering your frame against his. His nose brushed against yours with every head movement, and every little happy whimper from you swelled his heart more and more. 

Simon pushed you onto your back, keeping you pinned between the mattress and his body. He kissed all over your neck and face to the point where you were breathless from all the giggles and squeaks that he was bringing out of you. When you were close to getting lightheaded, he pulled his head back to give you a break. 

He couldn’t get over how you were looking at him. That look of adoration and care was healing his soul in ways he never thought he’d be able to achieve. There were certain things in life that Simon had accepted long ago that he would never get to experience…being cared for in the way that you cared for him was one of them. This was a dream come true and something he never would’ve counted on in a million years. 

“I know that wasn’t easy for you. I’m proud of you,” You brushed a stray hair from his forehead. “Thank you for sharing this moment with me.”

He felt a twinge of guilt. He really hadn’t done anything at all. You shouldn’t have to thank him for showing his face. The absolute bare minimum of existing as a human. But he knew that you understood why this was important, and that this really was something huge. 

“I wouldn’t want to share it with anybody else.” He admitted.

He was so crazy about you. He wasn’t sure what he had done in his life to deserve you, but he would do it a million times over if it meant spending forever with you. If there was anyone in the world that he trusted enough to share this much of himself with, it was you. 

“I think you need to get some sleep,” He remarked. “Need to rest that side.”

“I could stay right here all night.” You returned.

“I know,” He sat up, pulling you up with him. “But you need some sleep.”

Despite your protests, he arranged the bed to be most comfortable for you, encouraging you to properly get settled to get some shut eye. He grabbed his removed balaclava from the bed, keeping it ready to go when he returned to the front of the house where the rest of the team was.

“Are you comfortable?” He asked, sitting on the edge of the bed once you were all snuggled in. 

“Yeah,” You yawned. “I’m good.”

“Alright, love. I’ll see you in the morning.” He kissed your forehead, standing to leave you be.

Just as he raised his hand to put the balaclava back on, he felt a force stop him in his tracks.

“No. Wait,” You grabbed his free hand, stopping him from walking away. “Please stay.”

The balaclava in his hand suddenly felt heavy, like an intuitive feeling telling him it wasn’t time to hide away again.

“Might I remind you that I’m nearly a giant,” He chuckled, referring to the bed that was just barely big enough. “You need rest, darling.”

“Please?” 

That face. Those puppy eyes that he could never resist. In your defense, you did genuinely tend to sleep better when he was around — you felt more protected that way, and that was something he would never say no to.

So he obliged, setting the balaclava on the bedside table next to you, removing his boots and just his outer layers to make it at least semi-possible to fall asleep. He never really slept on missions (or at all), but if there was even the slightest chance that he could catch a few winks, then he would surely take it. 

He was careful with his movements as he lowered into bed, being sure not to come down too hard with his giant frame and break something. The bed wasn’t the newest or the sturdiest in the world, and he already had reservations about how it would hold him. He chuckled when you snuggled up to him immediately, barely even giving him time to convince himself that the bed wouldn’t collapse underneath him. 

As he had predicted, it was a bit of a squeeze, but that only gave you more reason to be all over him. He hadn’t realized how rundown he was until he was sunken into the mattress, his muscles and bones screaming with celebration when they were finally at rest. He was relaxed, he had you next to him, you were safe — he was all set. There were a few passing minutes of silence, but neither of you were trying to fall asleep just yet. You were still looking at him, admiring  his features and paying attention to every little detail. 

He was admiring you for admiring him, and even though he already knew every inch of you to perfection, he still loved to look at you. 

“If you want to put it back on…” You reached for the balaclava that he had placed on the end table next to you. “I understand if you do.”

He stared at the black and stained white fabric covering. It was the idol of his personality, the foundation of what everyone knew about himself. It was a shield that he kept at all times, his highest form of protection and self-preservation.

But tonight? He could do without it.

“I don’t need it.” He answered.

A pause. Then a beat of disbelief. You weren’t sure if he meant it or if he was trying to satisfy what he thought that you wanted him to do. You never wanted him to do something he didn’t want to do on your behalf.

“Are you sure?” You clarified.

“I’m sure.” He gave a soft grin.

“Positive?” You made sure.

“Positive.”

He pulled you back into his chest once you had set the mask aside. He kissed the crown of your head, dragging his fingertips along the skin of your back. He listened to your breathing, paying attention to how it slowed to a consistent rhythm as you fell deeper and deeper into a slumber. He was still processing everything. He had taken his mask off with no preparation or planning. He couldn’t believe what was happening to him. He was beginning to turn into the man he never thought he’d be able to become. 

For the longest time he had feared that he was too scarred and too frozen over to ever be anything other than a hardened man with nothing but distaste for the world. But he never knew there was a flame hot enough and bright enough to melt that frozen heart of his.

He was thankful for you.

You were the perfect combination of everything he ever needed and wanted. He was thankful for your kindness, patience, and support. He was thankful that you were strong enough to believe in him, yet soft enough to be sweet on him. He was thankful that you cared for him and showed him more love than anyone else had ever shown him before.

And he was always thankful that you had always been able to see beyond the mask.

[tarotbydelilah444]

pile one • ♥️

eight of pentacles • ace of wands • temperance 

Your person still has feelings for you. The feelings that they have for you could have expanded since the last time the two of you spoke or seen each other. This person realized that they are in love with you, and there feelings are way more deeper than what they initially thought. This person has finally come to the realization that you are the “one,” or someone they are meant to spend the rest of their life with, maybe in the past they failed to realize that you were the one due to their own ignorance, or sabotaging the connection because they truly couldn’t believe it until the two of you went separate ways. This person sees a future with you, if you two were ever to reconcile. They want things to be more balanced this time when they return, specifically around July, November, or the upcoming full moon, but they want to wait before making a move, so be patient with them. This person thinks about you on the daily, specifically at night. They find that they can connect with you and your energy better at night, so this person may show up in your dreams, or you may catch yourself thinking about them all of a sudden because you are living rent free in their brain. If you sent this person explicit photos, or videos of yourself, they still look at them and find you extremely irresistible and fantasize about all the sexual things they would love to do with you, or to you. To your person, you are the total package, you are beautiful, intelligent, funny, confident, and literally perfect in their eyes. They can’t find anyone that is on your level even if they tried. They also wonder if you are happy without them in your life since there hasn’t been any communication, or further action. They are determined to do everything in their power to put in the work and effort to get you back into their life. They still see a bright and beautiful future ahead for the both of you and they are willing to work on themselves and be patient with you until you are willing to give them a second chance.

pile two • 🥀

queen of swords • the devil • seven of swords • the hermit 

This person does not have positive feelings whenever they think about you. They could still feel hurt over how the connection ended, or the distance between the two of you. They still harbor resentful feelings towards you and find it hard to forgive you. This person could’ve wanted to reconcile with you in the recent past, but they may believe you are involved with another person, so they decided to remain to themselves by cutting you off to protect their energy and peace. You and this person could have exchanged some words before parting ways, or they view you as abrasive, heartless, and nonchalant. Yet, they still find it hard to completely detach from you because they still think about you all the time and are often reminded of you every where they go. This person feels like you betrayed them in some way. They feel like abandoned by you, or that you left them in the cold. The person is still incredibly drawn to you, yet they view you as very toxic, or that this connection is extremely irresistible, but toxic. You are like a drug to this person that they cannot kick no matter how much they try to get you out of their system. This person is still sexually attracted and connected to you and still has thoughts about you every time they think about you. This could’ve been a friends with benefits, fling, or situationship until someone eventually caught feelings and things became complicated soon after. They feel like they can’t trust you and are doing everything in their power to avoid you and this connection to work on themselves and heal to find something better in the future.

pile three • 💔 five of pentacles • five of cups • two of cups

Your person is in denial about their feelings for you. This person has feelings for you, but they are deciding to keep these feelings to themselves instead of confronting them and confessing to you how they feel for now. This person for the time being is focusing on themselves and realizing that they need to heal some things within themselves before they can even offer you the love that you deserve in return. This person has some unresolved feelings from their past that still affects them and that is preventing them from going steady with you. This person could still be hung up over an ex, or they are still working through some painful feelings that they experienced from their past relationships. This person is attracted to you, but they have major trust issues, and may not completely trust you, even if your intentions are 1000% pure. It would be wise to give this person some time to work through their issues, so try not to be pushy, or too demanding of them. You can expect communication in June, July, next year, or the next full moon. This person often battles with themselves if they should take action towards you, or should they leave this connection behind for now. This person is so afraid of opening their heart to you, so they run away or remain guarded to avoid getting their heart broken again, but I see that it deeply hurts this person to deny themselves a chance of experiencing new love with you. This person sees your potential and what this connection can become, but fear holds this person back. This person feels like they can be themselves around you and at times, they want to drop their guard and fears and jump into this connection with both feet and take that leap of faith, but it may take some time before they can reciprocate.