#give the podcast character that she will likely be playing

[drivingthesehillsaway]

how to tell your friend they need antidepressants

[dyketennant]

oh i can already tell i’m about to have some really unpopular opinions about the edge of sleep tv show

[waterberry-strawmelon]

it really sucks when the creator(s) of something you really like clearly have some unchecked biases that leak into their work, cuz you know they’d probably try and correct their behavior if they had it pointed out to them, but they’re just so oblivious that some little comments drop here and there that just brilliantly showcase how entrenched they are in their sphere of privilege to recognize it

[ghostinacardboardbox]

I just finished relistening to the Camilla Wester line and I just. LOVE her dynamic with Andrel.

Andrel is in a weird position most of the time because because she is a blue collar employee in a high risk job trying to pay off debts and educate herself (via dictionary), so she very much cannot be treated like a normal child. It would feel incredibly condescending to her and would minimize her accomplishments. But also she still IS a child and that has to be acknowledged. There’s a fine line between providing her the guidance she needs and treating her like she’s incompetent. And a lot of the characters try really hard to find that balance, but it seems to come just so naturally to Camilla.

Like they very much work side by side as equals but also Camilla is giving Andrel cute little nicknames and telling her she does a good job and then gets incredibly pissed when Andrel’s response is “thank you, I’m not appreciated enough.” She encourages Andrel to weaponize her youth to get Drix and Pip to buy her shit. Camilla never forgets that Andrel is just a kid but she also doesn’t treat Andrel like a baby.

[wuishu]

Hamzah the fantastic yapping about his girlfriend: compilation

Not a lot of people know about Hamzah’s relationship, but once he has a chance to talk about you, he will not shy away from talking about you. Fans could not help but make videos of them as tiktok clips or compilation videos on youtube.

There is no denying that he is head over heels for you, but some moments top others. The most popular one was a YouTube compilation named “Hamzah Being in Love: compilation”

The first clip was in an OOC podcast, where they talk about the most efficient thing: buying food outside or cooking food at home.

“No, 'cause my girlfriend always cooks food for us,” Hamzah says, as he's holding his mic, and Martin nods “I guess cooking food is good.”

“Of course, when you have a great cook at home.”

Martin smiles as he can see Hamzah being passionate about this topic, “I’ll give you and Mandy some of Y/n amazing cooking. If there's any left, though.”

“Cause sometimes I just finish them all,” he replied, “One of the best foods I've eaten was made by Y/n, God, now I'm missing her cooking.”

“I miss you, babe,” he said, looking at the camera as Martin laughed, folding like a plastic chair. Hamzah smiling.

The second clip was of Fortnite gameplay in the slushy noobz youtube channel. They were playing the game, and when Hamzah could hear the door slowly swing open, his gaze was on the door. He sees his girlfriend slowly trying to find something.

He could hear Martin trying to get a backup while he gets tag teamed, “Hi, what are you trying to find?” Hamzah said, as his Fortnite character was on all fours, leaving Martin defending himself

“Dude?!”

“I got it.” Your voice wasn't loud, but it was loud enough to pick up from the mic, “Okay, I love you,” Hamzah said, Martin clutched the three v one fight, and he sighed loudly, snapping Hamzah out of his long stare

“Dude, what happened?” he said. Martin's face turned sour as he scratched his head, indicating he was irritated. “You are what happened.”

The next one was one of Hamzah’s old livestreams, where he was just talking to his chat, trying to pass the time. He got a donation asking what he would do this weekend

“Ahh, well, I'm gonna hang out with my girlfriend since she will be coming back to her hometown. Might as well show her around until she has to leave.” people are curious, asking if they can see her.

He wasn't hesitant and called you on the phone, “baby, people want to see you; can you come here?” and without a minute, you can see his girlfriend popping, waving to chat as a greeting

You can see the messages scrolling quickly as they compliment you. You smiled, “There she is, my beautiful other half.”

The next clip shown was Martin and Hamzah playing FNAF, It was getting dark, and they didn't know how many hours they wasted while they played the game.

Hamzah showed his phone to show what time it was, and his wallpaper was you standing up, flash on while you were holding his hand, “It’s 9:45, I'm getting sick of this game”

Martin nodded but continued to control and run. “If they keep doing this to us, then… developers. Get ready for my fist.”

He sighed as he shifted in his seat to get comfortable. He kissed his phone screen as Martin looked at his antics and asked, “What was that?”

“Missing her right now-” and suddenly got jump scared by Monty; they jumped out of their seats. They nervously laugh.

The video transitioned to another OOC podcast clip, but instead of just Martin and Hamzah, you and Mandy were in it. You were sitting next to Hamzah, and Mandy was sitting next to Martin, so they were still in the frame. Since they didn't expect you to join them, you shared the microphone with Hamzah.

The four were talking about who always wakes up early in the morning and how late one wakes up. “Sometimes I wake her up since she works at dentistry so she gotta be extra early, and I cook her food because she always says she doesn't like the food near their clinic.”

He handed the microphone to you and said, “Yeah, 'cause the food there just doesn't hit right like you're cooking.”

“You like my cooking?” he curiously said, as you nodded and got the microphone, “Of course, I especially like the notes you put on my lunchbox. Always a cliché quote like ‘love you to the moon and back’ or ‘I think you're tooth cute’ and it's so cute.”

He grinned and looked at you. “Glad you like them.”

“Isn't it funny how both of our girlfriends are health professionals, while we are… just influencers?” Martin said as he was racking his brain up.

The last clip was another bake-off, and you finally cave into their pleas to be there, and for the first time, the place they use is in Hamzah's kitchen.

The measuring cup and ingredients were on the island table, big bowls were laid as they were mixing their batter, and you pre-heated the oven.

“You don't have to over-mix it, Martin. Now you won't have stiff peaks!” you said as you looked at Martin’s bowl. He was making meringue for his spin-off lemon meringue pie but instead of lemon, it was a simple blueberry pie with meringue.

“I’m sorry! I did not know!” He said as he raised both his hands like he was at gunpoint. Hamzah noticed your face was sweating, and your hair was sticking to it. He grabbed a piece of tissue paper and wiped your face while you were talking to Martin.

“Yeah, I need that cinnamon.” You knead your dough for the cinnamon rolls you were going to make. Hamzah decided to pull you away from the table so that he could tie your hair.

“Hold still,” you said, lowering a bit so he could tie your hair properly. “Thank you, babe”

You kissed his cheek, leaving your preferred glossy lip tint print on his face. He smiled like he had won the lottery. “You're welcome!”

“Now I feel like I'm the third wheel right now, jeez,” Martin pipped, as you smiled and continued to knead the dough. “You do this all the time, Hamzah?”

“Yeah, when we do it in the back-” the clip cut off, and they continued to do what they were doing. Let's just say that Hamzah did not wipe his face for the entire video.

(I'M BACK! I love Hamzah sm, and I'd totally do a part two of this if ya'll guys want!!)

[asgardswinter]

A thread of Jon Bernthal being a zionist and why all of you should stop supporting him.

Especially if you actually care about Palestinians and ur going around cancelling zionists like Noah Schnapp and Amy Schummer.

You can read my thread on my twitter page:

https://x.com/aquasuperbat/status/1769431729385648594?s=46

First of all, Jon Bernthal has liked tons of pro-Israel propaganda posts on twitter

He signed a letter to Biden in support of Israel like many other celebrities

He never signed the letter calling for a ceasefire. I think that says enough that he still holds zionist views.

He platformed an ex idf soldier on his podcast. Giving people who have killed Palestinians and committed Genocide a safe place.

Jon Bernthal’s sister in law (his brothers wife) is Sheryl Sandberg, a billionaire who runs multiple technology companies.

She has spread a lot of misinformation about Hamas. Shes very pro-israel

After all of this, hes stayed silent on the massacres that has occured in Gaza. Hes stayed silent as children have been bombed and are currently being starved. Over 40,000 innocent lives, mostly women and children have been taken, but he doesnt hesitate to stay silent.

If you care about this then you will stop supporting Jon even if he plays ur favourite character. I LOVED his ver of Frank Castle. But i cant stand by him with his complicit in genocide while i see innocent lives being taken.

In the past month he hasnt liked any pro-israel content, most likely because he saw the amount of support Palestinians are getting and that celebs r being outed. Or his team has told him to stop. I dont believe hes changed his views.

In 2022 he followed the official Israel account on twitter but has since unfollowed it.

If ur gonna continue supporting Jon then block me. U disgust me if you do and you cant go around cancelling celebs like Noah Schnapp because then ur just a hypocrite. If ur against zionism then ull stop being fans of every zionist celeb.

This isnt the only disgusting thing hes done, he platformed an abuser on his podcast. Giving people like them a safe place. Most of the ppl he has on his podcast r men, particularly ex cops and military. Hardly any women. Dude reeks of blue lives matter.

Update: 10/09/24

He had Sean Penn on his podcast. A known abuser who got a felony got domestic assault against Madonna when they were married. Jon calls him his hero in a clip on youtube. In that same clip Sean praises Jon for having Shia Labouf on his podcast, another violent woman abuser.

[rosenotactuallyquartz]

amethyst & rose

(an analysis on their dynamic)

amethyst & rose have a very fascinating dynamic. amethyst looked up to rose, believing that she made everything better. the feeling was mutual. they never quite knew just how alike they were, but they inspired each other nonetheless.

"rose said i'm perfect the way i am!" — amethyst, crack the whip

“one very important relationship is amethyst with rose, because amethyst is what rose wished she could be." — steven universe podcast, volume 3, episode 1

from the beginning, rose felt a connection to amethyst. there were little pieces of rose’s soul in everyone she loved. from there, she wanted to give them the environment that she never had in her early years.

for example, rose perceived greg as the human version of herself in a lot of ways. their minds worked the same way. garnet & rose connected as gems who shared similar beliefs, and they bonded over their experiences related to love & interpersonal connections—the beauty they saw in things that were considered wrong in the eyes of homeworld’s society. as for pearl… she contrasted rose in many ways, and that made their connection meaningful in its own way, as partners. still, when it came to emotions, they were similar (i.e., how they felt when they wanted to protect something or someone, how they loved, etc. in general, they also felt everything very strongly, so strongly that it hurt them). rose was deeply inspired by her loved ones & often admired the traits & skills that she didn’t share with them. however, the similarities between rose & her loved ones likely played a role in what she wanted to do for them. she wanted everyone to have the environment she never had on homeworld. while there were no rules & freedom for all the crystal gems to be who they are (among other things), rose was very extreme, as sugar states.

"the thing that she really lacks is balance, any ability to temper her extremes. this is part of her character throughout her forms: she's always very extreme." — rebecca sugar, end of an era

“[amethyst] was sheltered from knowing the full truth of her origin & therefore she was not free to build on that aspect of her identity. both the advantages of freedom & the disadvantages of lack of structure manifested in her." — steven universe podcast, volume two, ep two

nevertheless, the way rose revered & loved everyone around her was incredibly sincere & intense. her guilt, self-hatred, & lack of self-acceptance made it hard for her to feel empathy for herself. at the same time, she gave so much care, love, & acceptance to all these little pieces of herself. she never realized just how similar she was to those she loved because she often hid things. to amethyst, rose had all the answers, and every day with her was relaxing, fun, and she felt loved. rose was older than her, the nurturing mom friend who (as amethyst said herself) made everything better. at the same time, it was hard for amethyst to fully understand rose's choices and she never saw a lot of her vulnerabilities.

amethyst & rose were so incredibly similar, & they had no idea just how much they had in common. still, they both knew they were similar. both are playful & young-at-heart. both feel emotions deeply, but they cope with their intensity by trying to make things lighthearted.

they share a sense of wonder that makes them see beauty in the most unusual and odd things—moss, random foods. they probably both brought back the most ridiculous things from missions, much to pearl's dismay.

while rose kept secrets, she also did everything in her power to shield amethyst from anything that might hurt her. because here’s something that pearl + rose have in common: they both want to help so much that it hurts them. they want to prevent harm, to protect those they love & see as precious, but they can’t control everything, & that causes a lot of pain.

"i'm not supposed to be small. and everyone's always acting like there's no problem. you can be anything you want to be. no! i can't. i can't even be the one thing i'm supposed to be, you know?" — amethyst, steven versus amethyst

“rose teaches amethyst: you can be anything you want to be! huge advocate of shapeshifting, self-expression, anarchy—however, amethyst can sense shame from rose and pearl over the kindergarten.” — rebecca sugar, end of an era

literally & figuratively, amethyst and rose both felt smaller compared to the other quartzes and diamonds, respectively. though their situations were different—rose coming from homeworld, & amethyst learning about it later—other quartzes made amethyst feel insecure, powerless, & "wrong," much like rose felt as a diamond. despite this, they both became crystal gems, rebels choosing to be their own individuals, knowing they don’t have to follow homeworld’s rules about their gem’s purpose. they both love living on earth.

"what? you mean about the bad thing? how this bad place is where bad gems came to grow more bad gems? is that what you're talking about?" — amethyst, on the run

"rose's message began to resonate, to pink diamond's dismay. her colony was falling apart. so, like a coward, she called for her diamond allies, yellow & blue, to help." — garnet, your mother and mine

their beliefs also made them ashamed when they looked at their gems. rose, though she became her own person and acted as if the past never happened, still remembered being a diamond.

"i never asked for it to be this way. i never asked to be made!" — amethyst, on the run

"[rose] couldn't stand herself; self-destruction is a huge theme throughout the show—the struggle of the feeling that you shouldn't exist, & what that can do to a person. a lot of the themes of the show exist within rose." — rebecca sugar, end of an era

knowing everything that the diamonds did fueled her self blame & only worsened her feeling that she shouldn’t exist. amethyst feels similarly, and while she became her own person and those around her acted like the kindergarten never happened, she felt like a “big mistake.”

"i’m not going to let you stand there & remind me of everything i hate about myself!" — amethyst, on the run

"[rose] reveres them instead, because they are better than she could ever be, & that reverence is so honest & intoxicating that it draws everyone closer to her, without them understanding the deep self-hatred that pull is coming from." — end of an era, page 88

for a variety of reasons, they both struggle with low self esteem. pink felt insecure around diamonds on homeworld & amethyst felt insecure around quartzes on homeworld, making them feel smaller not just physically but emotionally. they often felt like they needed to change themselves to fit in. they also struggle with the feeling that their closest loved ones are better than them, although the reasons may look a bit different. amethyst knows that garnet, rose, & pearl fought in the war and aren’t from the kindergarten, while rose also feels guilt about where she’s from and feels weak & “bad” compared to the others.

“amethyst finally understands rose... wanting her to shapeshift... not feel obligated to be a quartz... suddenly feels sympathy... kinship. it wasn’t amethyst being inspired by rose. rose was inspired by them!” — end of an era

“the truth is that the people in her life would be so much more understanding than she believes they will be.” — end of an era

“i know you feel bad! believe me, i get it! sometimes it feels like you're never gonna like yourself but it's possible, man!” — amethyst, i am my monster

whenever people ask me what rose needed to do in order to heal, my answer is long & complicated. but i will say, i always include connie’s quote from mindful education. “you have to be honest about how bad it feels so that you can move on!” rose needed to be honest & vulnerable with her loved ones. this includes conversations about the past that she was ashamed of. this is why i never joined the fans who say pearl’s reaction to finding out rose kept secrets from even her was inherently wrong or harmful to rose, as a partner.

i always wished we saw more scenes of rose & amethyst. their dynamic is fascinating, & if rose could see amethyst by the timeline of future, she would understand just how much she could relate to her. opening up was difficult for rose, & for a good reason. revealing secrets she was ashamed of, taking accountability, & apologizing for things would always result in abandonment (isolation) or physical & emotional pain (punishments) during her early life on homeworld, with no positives in the end. hiding must have felt like a necessity for survival, & her fear of being caught by the diamonds worsened her anxiety, making her feel used to always hiding. nevertheless, rose really did contribute to a safe environment for amethyst’s early years & i think that’s incredible.

despite the tragic parts, amethyst & rose had a dynamic that was both close & meaningful. amethyst loved the life she had with rose, & now, she completely understands rose’s actions & everything rose did for her. as for rose, she loved someone who she knew well enough to be able to relate to, on some level. seeing their similarities, even the ones that are as simple as personalities, probably helped rose love herself a bit more.

[bopero]

sunspots

summary - a collection of hamzah’s lack of self control when it comes to you. warnings - swearing, reader is a kpop stan lol note - hai :3 i have been so obsessed with hamzah lately i had to get it out of my system. this is a side blog as im too embarrassed to post on my main fic blog. enjoy and send ideas!

polycule reveal - out of character #100

The podcast starts like any other. Hamzah and Martin sit in the middle of the couch, with Mandy and you on either side of them. It’s the first episode that has you featured in it, and Hamzah is quick to settle any nerves you have with a soft smile and a squeeze of your shoulder. “So, yeah guys. There’s another member in our polycule now, this is Hamzah’s contribution.” Martin points towards you. Hamzah shakes his head, “Alright, bro…”. “Does that mean I get a share of the YouTube channel? Mandy, have they ever given you money?” Mandy clicks her tongue and continues in her deadpan voice, “Um, no. Basically they keep me in their dungeon until they need more views. I’d run away if I were you, honestly.” You pretend to look nervously between Hamzah and Martin, “Honestly I didn’t wanna say it but the basement Hamzah keeps me in is super gross.” “I don’t like this bit. Viewers, please be advised I do not keep my girlfriend in a basement for views. I don’t know about Martin, though.” “Dang it, first episode and they’re already making us look like idiots, Mandy. We need to try harder.”

becoming bts - out of character #104

The episode is you, Hamzah, and Martin. Hamzah is sat obviously much closer to you (which the comments are quick to mention, laughing at the lack of personal space he gives you.) “Yeah, a lot of the Slushies have been asking me if I’m a kpop stan. My ult bias-” Hamzah throws his hands into the air dramatically as he sees you pull a small photocard out of your wallet. A familiar face makes him groan loudly, “Oh, don’t even get me started on this fool! I am sick and tired of seeing him everywhere!” You proudly show off the photocard to the camera despite Hamzah’s childish complaints. Martin leans over to take a look at the photo in your hands, “Bro, what’s the big deal? Is this like challenging your alphaness?” You laugh loudly and Hamzah smiles, betraying the annoyed facade he’s putting on, “No! He just haunts me. She knows when his birthday is and shit and what he ate for breakfast that day, like bro,” he turns to you, pointing at you accusingly, “You don’t ask what I eat for breakfast.” Martin grabs his shoulder, as if to calm him down, “Bro. You know what this means. You have to defend your woman.” Hamzah turns to Martin and before you can question them, they begin singing together and waving their arms in the air, “Shoot dat boy in da head, shoot dat boy in da head!” The episode ends with you deadpanning at the camera as they chant beside you.

don’t play this game at 3 am (not clickbait!!!)

Martin and Hamzah had listened to their viewers, your first feature on the channel being in a Resident Evil gameplay. The comments are filled with ‘i slushed everywhere when i saw yn in the thumbnail’ and ‘hamzah holding onto yn everytime there’s a jumpscare boyy aren’t u supposed to b da man?’ You sit between the two men who both inadvertently curl into you as the creepy aura permeates outside the game as well. Martin dramatically holds onto his head as you shoot bullets into the grossly looking zombies on the screen, “Oh, god they’re gonna eat us out! Quick, grab more ammo!” “Ok, I don’t think they’re gonna do all that-” They both jump as a loud, sharp groan comes from the speaker. Hamzah in particular lets out his signature high-pitched scream. Martin seems to break character and laughs aloud as Hamzah shakes his head in embarrassment, turning away from the camera so it won’t catch the bright blush on his cheeks when you coo at him. “Aww, did you pee yourself?” Martin tries to speak through laughter, “I think you did, dude there’s a wet spot-” Hamzah quickly denies it, “Ok, stop lying to all the slushies, bro, I did not pee myself. I’m sick of this, turn off this trash ass game-” “It’s ok, babe. I’ll protect you, I’m your Leon.” Martin waves a blushing Hamzah over, “Yeah, come on you big baby. It’s not even that scary-wait don’t go in there-“

vacation

Hamzah had convinced you to create your own channel, due to the growing comments begging him to convince you to do so. You hadn’t expected much, but it’d at least be a nice way to share sweet memories between the two of you. The vlog starts with you sat in front of your vanity, as you complete your routine. You talk animatedly about the vacation you’re on with your boyfriend, mentioning the beautiful sights you’ve seen and the delicious food you’ve had so far. You don’t notice but Hamzah walks into the room, quietly sneaking into view when he notices you’re filming. He’s too sweet to scare you on purpose, so he only places the bag of food in front of you and waves towards the camera, “Hiii, it’s me, Hamzah. Remember me?” You push him out of frame, “Ew, get your big head out of here!” The bottom half of his body remains in frame as you look up at him from the seat, “What?! This is how youtubers act behind the camera guys, leave hate comments below, please.” He leans down to be to your level, staring longingly as you get ready. He imagines this is how it feels to watch art being made. You don’t notice his blatant staring, “Tell them how nice it is here.” He’s pulled out of his thoughts with your voice, “Yeah, it’s pretty sweet. Think we’ll bring our kids here cause kids like beaches. Right?” You both seem to forget the camera is even there as you turn to him, “We should take them to Legoland.” He lets out a disbelieving laugh, “Really? That’s the best you got?” You give him a side eye that makes him laugh harder, “Ok, get out, this is my video.” Hamzah only waves at the camera before giving you a gentle kiss on top of your head and leaving. It’s barely in frame, but it’s enough to show the burning warmth he holds for you.

[xgraavyx]

I feel like a lot of people ignore Mariana's role in Sherlock and Co. I understand that the bond between Sherlock and Watson is a heavy focus in the original acd books, but Sherlock and Co is it's own thing. Mrs Hudson may not have played a large role in the books, but in Sherlock and Co she is one of the main characters. Ignoring her prominent role in their dynamic just so you can focus on Watson and Sherlock's dynamic is strange. You can still talk about their dynamic without ignoring one of the main characters. In Sherlock and Co I have always seen them all three as being like a family. Regardless of how you percieve their relationship, you cannot ignore the fact that Marianna is important to both of them. People shit on those who ship John and Mariana bc it "gets in the way of sherlock and watson" but that is such a stupid reason to hate a character. People can ship Watson with whoever they want. It isn't hurting anyone to have people ship him with Mariana.

Watson has a very lovely dymamic with both Sherlock and Mariana. I've seen people genuinely angry to see the podcast focus on Mariana and Watson for even a second. Sherlock and Watson have also had many one on one interactions. They've had a lot of focus on their dynamic and how it is built throughout the podcast. People being mad that Mariana also gets those growth opportunities despite her also being a main character is WILD. A man and woman can be platonic friends without being a threat to the "main ship" This reminds me of what happened to Mary in bbc sherlock. While I agree that Mary is a poorly written character, people give her way too much hate. Hating a character is fine, but hating a character just because she "gets in the way" of your ship is dumb. I don't like Mary in bbc sherlock. I think her being a spy was weird. Her death was only there to kickstart sherlock and watson's discord and I think that is a stupid reason to kill off a main character. It had no proper impact to the story and she only existed to contrast with Sherlock. Those are valid reason to hate her, but I don't just ignore her existance. She was still a part of the bbc sherlock canon regardless of how buchered her implimentation was. Mariana is a fun character and a lovely addition to sherlock and co. She has been given the same if not less focus than Sherlock and people still rarely include her in fan content. Yes Sherlock and Watson have a very interesting dynamic but I'd love to see more love for Marianna. She is a part of their family. Regarldess of if you see the dynamics between characters as romantic or platonic Marianna is still an important person to both Sherlock and Watson and I would love to see more of her. She is like the "straight man" of their dynamic. She handles the business aspect of their organization. She canonically eats with them at 221b very often. So much so that she doesn't even have a dining table in her flat. I love seeing different interpretations of her design. She is such a fun character and her personality flows very nicely with the others. Tldr I want to see more love for Mariana, and people who hate her unjustly get on my nerves lol. You can ship two characters without ignoring or hating on the girl character.

[dadsbongos]

dunmeshi character music-preferences!!! cuz i was thinking about it in the car

Laios - video game osts and beep-boop types. jams to a lot of spellcasting and napcast

Falin - nu metal, rock, and grunge, probably a poser juggalo too. though she’s not picky (it scares marcille)

Marcille - piano-heavy instrumentals OR bouncy pop like chappelle roan depending on her mood, and sometimes hot freaks

Chilchuck - his secret goon is dubstep (he’ll never put it on in front of people he’d rather die), but honestly could break it down to anything

Senshi - prefers podcasts but won’t fight anybody on what they decide to put on

Izutsumi - hyperpop and the cbat-likes, started ironically and now it's serious

Kabru - does not listen to music by himself. he will pretend he does, but he doesn’t

Rin - also doesn’t prefer music when by herself, but doesn’t lie about it like a freak (if anything she’ll play. like. lofi or elevator music lmao)

Mickbell - shitpost music like yung gravy or ur pretty. also can see him being a bbno$ kid

Thistle - totally goth. hear me out: twin tribes, lebanon hangover, sisters of mercy, bauhaus. combination hypnotic vocals and dance-able chords and/or guitar breakdowns

Mithrun - literally listens to everything he does not give a fuck. as long as it doesn’t actively deafen him. maybe prefers midwest emo but noooot by much

[divineei]

TOOTM  one. to keep a promise

! ko kyungjun x fem!reader

a/n. this shit took so long omfg. whoever said writing was easy can suck my nonexistent left nutsack.

"i don't get why this is even a discussion."

"oh, cmon! you don't think the conflict around it is interesting?"

"whether its interesting or not doesn't matter because this shouldn't be an existing argument. if your partner or someone you love commits a murder and there's serious evidence pointing back to them, how could you just act like it's not even there?"

"dude, you're missing the point entirely. the question is not about what you would do in that situation, it's about what you should believe."

"that's so stupid. the only factor you should need is evidence. it doesn't matter if the accused is a long time friend, your partner, or even your child. sure, your judgment on their character is still relevant, but if their fingerprints were found at the crime scene there's just no way you can objectively ignore their culpability. at that point, you should either believe your partner is guilty or at best remain undecided."

"in that case, would you say that following the evidence is morally required?"

"absolutely."

"you don't think there might be other ethical factors to consider?"

"for example?"

"even though the evidence is strong, there's still a chance they might not be guilty. imagine how it would feel like to be innocent and have no one believe you, not even your own partner! by not supporting them you run the risk of seriously hurting them on a crucial time of need. and consider what this lack of trust would do to your relationship. could you really go on after seriously suspecting–and believing–they're a murderer?"

"are you saying you'd rather ignore the crimes of your partner, even when the truth is staring you in the face, just for the sake of love?"

outside of the ethical dilemma resonating through yoon yn's headphones, the girl shifted around on her seat. her limbs felt numb from remaining unmoving for so long and, even though the only companion by her side was her bag, the compact space paid no mercy on her back. 

after finding a comfortable position she set her eyes on the view outside the window. sunlight hued over the fields of grass and the occasional farm, making the rural landscape imitate a painting in motion shaped by the most gentle brush strokes. the scene felt so engrossingly peaceful, she could almost feel the gale caressing her features despite the glass separating her from the world. 

yn couldn't help but thank the scene–and the long lasting battery of her headphones–for giving her something to focus on, seeing as the ride to the resort her class was directed towards had resulted to be such an otherwise tiresome one. 

"YES!"

an obnoxious voice popped yn's bubble in spite of the maximum volume she'd set for her podcast. distracted by the sound she turned to glance at the very back of the bus, where the students grouped up at the last row of leathered seats frowned in unison at heo yool–who mocked them with the cheekiest grin one could imagine. judging by their sullen looks, yn figured the citizens had lost yet another round of mafia, a game they'd been playing for who knows how long.

she recalled when her classmates had urged her to join the game the moment she stepped into the bus, which she declined, prioritizing her tranquility over the headache she knew they'd give her, yet promising she'd join in the next time. 

after figuring out the source of that ruckus yn set her focus back on her podcast, purposely missing the eyes of the guy she'd been avoiding to the best of her abilities for days now.

just a few rows behind her, kyung jun's eyes never left yn as she disappeared between the sea of heads flooding the bus, and his scheme of intentionally leaving the space by his side unoccupied for her came to mind, especially remembering how his grand plan backfired when that fucking basketball-star-wannabe gave up his seat for her.

that annoying prick just couldn't get the memmo, couldn't he? to him, hyun ho had always been a nuisance; a pest that treaded on yn's heels at every chance he got–even when she used to hang onto the feared delinquent's arm.

"they're so loud," kyung jun muttered. he'd been trying to settle down the bittersweet echoes of his mind since the start of that damned school trip, in vain, since the blaring voices behind him made the flare that was his temper even harder to quell than any of those memories.

luckily, he needn't lift a single finger to make the commotion stop, and he was able to get some peace of mind thanks to his lackeys acting as spokesmen for his aggravation. 

on the other side of the large vehicle, kim so mi sneakily took pictures of the class president. 

"hey look, isn't he gorgeous?" the vice president called, showing what was sure to be one of her new favorite pictures to her friends seated behind: park ji soo, cha yoo joon and park woo ram. "doesn't this belong in a magazine? how can he look so gorgeous?" so mi repeated with a dreamy sigh, looking at her screen.

"i will tell jun hee tomorrow that you took a photo of him," woo ram threatened with a playful smile.

"oh yeah? what if i tell yn about all the videos you have?" so mi replied, pointing at the camera that always hanged around the guy's neck. 

"please do, maybe i'll finally seduce her."

"oh my god," exclaimed yoo joon, "you are so delusional."

"why?" he lifted one of his hands in response to the very serious offense.

"dude, you barely talk to her."

"woo ram, you have the same chances of getting with yn as me and yoo joon of breaking up." ji soo stated.

the guy in mention glanced at his girlfriend, seemingly unaware of the joke. "that's zero, right?" question to which ji soo only rolled her eyes.

"i don't care what you say," woo ram brushed off. "i know she's the love of my life."

"ko kyung jun!" called out so mi.

like a tiny animal trying to save itself from a threatening predator, woo ram jumped to the empty seat by his side, hiding from the vandal's peripheral as much as possible while the rest of his companions laughed.

"fuck, kim so mi!" he cried out, "you trying to get me killed?"

"relax, he's not even looking," revealed the vice president with a cheeky smile.

as if they'd rehearsed it, the four students turned around to catch ko kyung jun's eyes still set on yoon yn, and by the looks of it, he didn't have any plans to cease his staring.

"not seeing them together is kinda weird," yoo joon pointed out.

"does anyone know why they broke up?" so mi asked to her peers, who all looked at each other expecting an answer none of them had.

"whatever," dismissed ji soo, "yn is better off without him anyway."

"yeah, she's been around us a lot more since then." agreed so mi.

"i bet kyung jun barely let her talk to us."

"right? he looks like the controlling type."

"i would never treat her like that." acknowledged woo ram, making his way back into the conversation only to get beaten back down by the three others.

the time inside the bus seemed to work differently than the rest of the world. minutes and hours mixed up in a disorienting spectacle that at least seemed to follow the sun setting over the horizon. 

when they finally arrived to the resort, the only source of light were the numerous lamps adorning the streets and the inviting shine of the building before them.

with the bus door finally opened, the students of class 2-3 thronged the exit with overwhelming excitement. the trip had been longer that the teacher had promised and everyone was ready to get comfortable on their temporary rooms. of course, that included yn, who unfortunately had to wait for the rest of her classmates to take their suitcases out of the loaded trunk since her luggage ended up dropping to the back during the ride.

after everyone collected their belongings, the girl was able to retrieve her case at last. it was somewhat heavy but the tiny wheels at the bottom made it easier for her to slide the valise out of the bus' compartment. taking out the retractable handle, yn rolled her suitcase for at most six steps before someone else got ahold of it.

"what are you doing?" she questioned, but the guy simply walked away while pulling her luggage along and up the stairs.

"kyung jun." 

at the sound of his name, he stopped. walking towards him, yn stood right between the entrance and the suitcase-stealer. 

"what do you think? i'm helping you."

"i can do it myself." yn chided, staring him down harshly.

kyung jun had received many looks like that one throughout his life. from parents, teachers, students... they were all identical, ranging from disappointment to resentment and back. he was used to it. it was his day to day, how could he not be? yet he never imagined the same eyes that used to watch him with so much endearment would scrutinize him so cruelly. 

"you used to love when i carried your stuff." he reminded her, scanning yn's face for a spec of something–anything–he hoped could save him from the pain her gaze struck him with.

the girl let out an exasperated sigh. why couldn't he leave her be? why was it that, no matter how much she wanted to distance herself, he always found a way to squeeze back into her life? 

yn grabbed the handle of her suitcase and pulled. she wanted to leave, to get away from his side and free herself of his piercing eyes. unfortunately his strength surpassed hers, and she was forced to stay as he kept his grip.

"can you let go?" 

"yn," he asked but the girl just focused on the luggage he kept hostage. "can we talk?"

"about what?" she sneered, speaking with as much disdain her troubled feelings allowed.

"you know what." 

once again, she sighed. his antics were so infuriating; always pushing down the barrier she tried to put between the two. 

"not now."

"then when?" he instantly snapped back, then took a deep breath to stop his grating tone. "you always say that but then you ignore me for days."

"look, i don't have time for this." for the second time, she attempted to retrieve her case. "i promised i'd help with the preparations for the class picture, so–"

"oh, c'mon," and still, he pulled back. "since when do you care about this school-spirit-bullshit?"

he was right, yn never involved herself with whatever activities the school came up with. time and time again, they'd skipped so many classes as to not get involved with all those school projects they both deemed as meaningless, deciding to spend their mornings strolling around parks and nearby shopping districts instead. but that wasn't an option anymore, and yn needed some way to blurr the images that kept torturing her with the agonizing nostalgia of a broken relationship.

"promise me we'll talk. tonight." 

"sure," for the third time, she attempted to take back her luggage. but his answer was the same.

"no, yn. promise me."

with every fiber of her being, yn summoned the last shreds of her patience and met his gaze. his eyes held her captive, beseeching her in silence to unravel the troubles he was willing to share with no one but her, and the hypnotic pull of his gaze weakened her willpower to resist.

"i promise." she reluctantly gave in.

as kyung jun finally released the carry-on, yn didn't even bat an eye before snatching it up and walking away. however, as she made her way into the resort center, she couldn't help but feel frustrated with herself for falling for his tricks. all the effort she had put into avoiding him seemed to have gone down the drain so quickly, leaving her feeling defeated.

not wanting kyung jun to catch up to her, yn rushed inside the building. 

warm lights illuminated the vast entrance, composed by a lounge area with leathered sofas that accentuated the beige walls with brighter colors and a water dispenser conveniently placed next to the cushioned seats. at the center, a beautiful statue engulfed by faint blue lighting towered over everything below. the perfectly crafted marble giant was impossible to miss, looking like a still guardian watching over the resort's grounds. yet that didn't stop yn from overlooking the sign with the qr code needed for the resort's wifi and facility app.

following the arrows pointing out the way towards the elevator, yn got in and pressed the button labeled dormitories. the heavy doors slid and shut before the steel cage trembled, signaling its vertical movement. suddenly, the girl felt the air tighten inside her chest, twisting her lungs in a way that seemed to strangle them. oxygen got caught up in her throat as images of cables snapping and an imminent fall to her death plagued her mind. in, out, in, out. yn's breath increased as rapidly as tidal waves when the lights malfunctioned and in between flickers, she saw a dark figure out of the corner of her eye. 

the moment she snapped her head back to take a look, a faint bell announced the door sliding open. taking in the air as steadily as she could, yn grabbed her suitcase and escaped the cage of death. frightened and disoriented, she questioned if what just concurred has been a quick fever dream or reality. and if it wasn't, why did her mind torture her like that? as far as she knew, never in her life had she experienced something that'd cause this crippling fear of high spaces. so why...?

she shook her head and brushed off the uncanny feeling, dismissing it as a consequence from the tiresome trip and forcing herself to focus on finding the room she shared with ahn na hee and kim so mi, who'd invited her with overwhelming coercion. compared to the elevator ride, figuring out her way to her dormitory was a piece of cake. the girl left her stuff in an empty corner and took the stairs down towards the gymnasium. there, instead of getting scolded by the teacher like she expected, what greeted her was a plethora of different activities performed by her classmates. 

in the middle of the room, a group of students flawlessly danced to the rhythm of the songs reverberating from a large speaker, followed by lee joo young and choi mi na silently fighting for the spotlight, and being interrupted by ko kyung jun, who apparently had nothing better to do than to mess with their practice by turning off the music while his two loyal followers, shin seung bin and kim jin ha, played a very dedicated match of ping-pong.

on opposite corners of the gym, jin da bum, choi joo won, lee yoon seo and oh jung won were consecutively separated in two pairs, all conversing with their respective best friends. up on the second floor, cha yoo joon and park ji soo, who never seemed to stay away from each other, watched from above. on the stage, band members im eun chan, nam yeon woo and baek eun ha dabbled with their instruments to make sure everything was perfectly in tune. lastly, jang hyun ho and kim dong hyun busied themselves by organizing all the sport equipment laying around.

"yoon yn!" called kim jun hee from a large set of tables surrounded by the other members of the student council which, of course, included kim so mi and her friend ahn na hee.

with no sight of their teacher around yn walked stress-free to said table, although not before catching park woo ram pointing his camera right at her, which made the guy hastily turning to film someone else. 

"you're here," the class president stated. "we thought you got lost or something."

"sorry, i got caught up with something." yn replied. she didn't really care about these preparations, but she did promise to help, and yn wasn't the type to use that word lightly.

"yeah! i was going to text you but we've been so busy preparing everything." so mi ranted, sprinkling salt into the wound.

"i can see that," yn commented, deciding to ignore so mi's backhanded scolding.

"what happened, though? did you really get lost?" na hee asked. 

"no, i got stopped by kyung jun."

"oh, right. he was a bit late too now that I think about it."

"is that jackass bothering you again?" hyun ho, who'd come closer to the table just as yn approached, joined in and put a hand on her shoulder.

"no," yes. "everything's fine."

truth be told, yn would rather drop dead than having to deal with kyung jun. however, she knew that telling her classmates about it wouldn't lead to a positive outcome. after all, the only person who had the courage to confront the delinquent was hyun ho, and, given their history, yn was certain his involvement would only make matters worse.

in another area of the bustling gym, the noticeable trio of vandals were causing a ruckus in the corner. as they tossed a basketball back and forth, jin ha hurled the ball at kyung jun, who was too busy gawking at yn's arrival to notice. the ball smacked him right in the chest–a painful reminder of how his focus seemed to always follow after her. 

"shit, my bad!" jin ha exclaimed.

their leader squatted to grab the ball at his feet and got back up only for his gaze to fix back towards the girl who constantly distracted him and, of-fucking-course, hyun ho standing right next to her, as always. the sight made his blood boil and his knuckles turn white as he clenched the basketball in his hands, while his rapid heartbeats deafened any coherent thought telling him to settle down.

seeing this, jin ha and seung bin looked at each other before the latter sighed and came closer to his friend. throwing one arm around his shoulders, he spoke:

"why don't we go outside, man? get your head out the gutter."

"yeah," kyung jun agreed, seeing seung bin was clearly trying his best to support him. perhaps he was right, some air would probably do him good right now. "let's go." was the last thing he said before disappearing through the gymnasium's exit, just in time to miss the teacher entering from the other side.

after informing the class presidents about a problem regarding the other bus full of students set to accompany them on this field trip, he left, clearly in a panic because of the unexpected turn of events.

in the meantime, most of class 2-3 remained in the gymnasium. no more than a few minutes went by before the dancing group, who now were fixing their hair and makeup while sitting on the floor, called yn over. ever since they found out about her break up, the girls had been offered her to go out again and again, an opportunity they took to invite her to join their club with not-so-subtle comments. 

"oh yn, you should hang out with us more!" were the kind of utterances she always received from the class' cheerleaders.

mi na had insisted on brushing yn's hair. taking the empty stop in front of her classmate, she felt the bristles effortlessly flowing through the roots of her hair to its ends. the conversation was an amicable one. the girls often taking their time to butter up yn and saying how cool it'd be to have her in their club–until the self proclaimed hairdresser decided to dive into something she'd been curious about.

"hey yn."

"yeah?" she answered, eyes closed while enjoying the soothing sensation of the hairbrush.

"why did you and kyung jun brake up?"

mi na found herself at a loss for words when she faced the disapproving and critical stares of the entire group. why would you ask that? their glares yelled in silence, making her feel like she just made a terrible mistake.

"that's between him and i, mi na." yn abruptly ended the change of topic.

why did they break up? that's a question she'd been asked countless times ever since her classmates took note of their separation. a query yn remembered avoiding like a plague, long before this trip. only this time, a strange, guttural discomfort buried into every corner of her brain as she noticed a spec of something missing, unable to put together if the same evasion came as a reflex or because she couldn't answer it herself.

"right," mi na's shame, reinforced by the brutal glares of the other girls, took over her face as her cheeks flushed. "sorry."

luckily for her, just as her face morphed into a cherry tomato, a painful ringing roared through the speakers before the absence of light engulfed the high schoolers in deep darkness.

"c'mon! what is this?" one said.

"what's going on?" asked another.

"hey, turn the lights on!" resonated a voice from above.

a loud clang similar to a metal pipe hitting a hard surface echoed over the four walls, followed by the piercing shrieks of several people. helping themselves with the flashlights provided by their phones, the students revealed a white figure in the middle of the room.

"quit joking around." before any more screeches could be heard, hyun ho launched a basketball to the sheeted ghost, making it fall to the ground just as pathetically as your average cartoon villain.

with the precision of a well-rehearsed act, the room was suddenly lit up, revealing the mischievous culprit behind the childish prank. and lo and behold, it was none other than heo yool.

the collection of complaints from everybody present synced in a perfect expression of annoyance and the occasional insult. 

"guys, listen carefully." the class clown™ gathered his classmates' attention as he stood from the ground. "i've heard that, a long time ago, a high school girl killed herself here," he explained, playing the role of a surprisingly talented storyteller. "so there's a few things you should never do: don't look at the mirror and turn around at midnight. and if someone grabs your ankle when you're sleeping, don't look down. if you break these rules," he turned to the group of dancers. "a ghost will pop up!" dashing towards them with the form of a rogish halloween scare actor, he was met with the frightened squeals of the girls.

yn, whose interest in the paranormal had never been deep enough to scare her, grabbed mi na's hairbrush and hurled it towards heo yool. an action that encouraged the rest of the class to throw everything they had at hand, along with some despicable remarks and the teasing laugh of the insufferable rascal.

defeated by heo yool's stunts, the students decided they've had enough as one by one they exited the gym. 

"are you coming, yn?" so mi asked.

the girl nodded before answering, "i'll be there in a minute. i want to get some water first."

at the entrance, so mi and yn parted ways. she approached the water dispenser and took one of the cardboard cups provided by the machine. ever since the lights of the gymnasium had turned off, the girl noticed an unusual taste in her mouth that reminded her of her frightening fever dream at the elevator. she felt it at the back of her neck: something eerily creeping behind her at every given moment. was it possible that heo yool's story actually got under her skin? trying to brush off the uncanny sensation, yn took a sip from the refreshment in her hand.

"yn!" 

the call startled her, making the water get caught up in her throat. she coughed and patted her own chest as the liquid scraped its way down her larynx, like a tiny bug trying to escape a spider's web. once able to compose herself, yn glanced towards the voice.

"im so sorry!" joo won panicked in a stutter, "i didn't mean to do that, are you ok?"

"im fine." she wiped the water from her lips with her long sleeve. 

joo won and his companion standing behind, da bum, stared at her in silence.

"do you want anything or...?" 

a simultaneous no and a yes echoed trough the entrance, followed by a confused frown from the girl and whatever silent conversation the two guys were displaying with their eyes. 

"do you think maybe you could," joo won took his sweet time to mutter his next words, as if scared. "talk with kyung jun?"

"excuse me?"

what the fuck...? did kyung jun put them up to this?

"we just, well," the spokesman of the duo halted. "we gave some money to his friends a few days ago and we just don't want to bother them."

oh.

"so you bother me?" 

"no, no!" da bum spoke promptly and grabbed his friend's arm, pulling him along as he took a few steps to leave. "it's ok, yn. we won't bother you."

joo won released himself from da bum's grasp and walked towards yn. "please," he pleaded, holding one of her hands tightly with both of his. "he'll listen to you."

right as her heart started beating with enough sympathy to care for their situation, the front door opened. seung bin, jin ha and kyung jun walked into the building, the latter playing around with a basketball.

the three delinquents would've kept their saunter if it weren't for yn's presence, which made the group's top dog stop in his tracks. his companions did the same and all stared at the situation unfolding right in front of them. kyung jun's eyes stayed on the hands holding yn and after noticing his threatening glare, joo won leaped away from her.

"what's going on?" asked the fearful leader.

"you owe them money?" yn countered, her eyes flickering between the trio.

"what?" the blonde one laughed, brushing off the accusation. 

"they do!" joo won blamed, but instantly went back to his helpless self when met with the bullies' threatening scowls. "please, i just need it for my tuition."

the firm glare of the girl pierced through the tough act of the tamer vandal, making him drop his facade as he approached the feeble boy, closed fist in the air.

"fuck, man! we're on retreat, why are you asking us for money now?"

"yeah," seung bin joined in, defending his friend. "what are you, a loan shark? we told you we'd give you interests. give us some time, dipshit!"

kyung jun, who'd only taken the role of observer until that moment, put down the basketball he held and intervened to slap both of his lackeys' heads. "did you do sports betting again? huh?"

like scolded puppies, seung bin and jin ha faced the floor as they stepped aside.

"da bum," he called, and the guy lifted his head to stare at the bully. "did you lend them money too?"

"huh?" as kyung jun stalked closer, da bum's heart raced faster with every step. his eyes frantically scanned the room, desperately seeking any distraction from the intimidating figure slowly closing in on him. "yes. but i can wait for my money. there's no rush." with a lump in his throat, da bum braced himself for whatever was coming next.

"how much?" kyung jun's open hand grabbed the side of da bum's face, forcing the terrified boy to look right at him. "ill pay you back."

"you will?" da bum stuttered.

"of course," his grin turned into something sinister, which allowed only da bum to see because of their proximity. "in return play basketball with me, yeah?"

he faintly smacked his victim's face twice before coming up to yn. "everything's alright here, yn. see? no need for this." kyung jun reached out to hold her hand but she pulled away before any contact could be made. 

was she really so revolted by him she wouldn't even let him touch her? accepting his defeat, kyung jun hid his hands inside his jacket's pockets. 

"right," yn looked at da bum and joo won, who were currently being pushed around by the other two, before turning back to kyung jun. "in that case, i'll get going." 

"you're not coming with me?" just as yn started to walk away, his words pulled her back in.

"i'd rather not."

"are you sure?"

with a swift nod, kyung jun signaled seung bin and jin ha to go ahead and, bringing along the poor students they were about to torment, they disappeared down the hallway.

they were left alone, just like kyung jun liked it. only them, with nothing and no one around to interrupt their precious time together.

not a single second did he stop looking into her fiery eyes, which only seemed to hold a hostility that antagonized his own devoted regard.

"it's almost midnight."

both held each other's gaze, which kyung jun took as an invitation to step towards the girl. he stopped right in front of her and, unfortunately, yn's heart betrayed her mind as she internally screamed for it to cease its raising beats. 

kyung jun's hands raised to yn's face, completely forgetting her previous rejection. for a second, he thought of apologizing, since she'd made it clear time and time again how much she now despised his presence. but how could he apologize for something he was barely conscious of? he couldn't help himself, not when she was merely inches away, not with her. maybe if he insisted–if he didn't give up–she'd finally understand why staying apart was never the world's plan. 

"you promised me. remember?"

his hands were close. so close he could feel his fingertips grace her cheeks, a touch so minuscule, yet enough to make his skin crawl with anticipation. 

he was too close. 

yn stepped back just as she felt the fleeting spark. she would be dammed if she ever allowed him to touch her again, in more ways than one. or at least that's what she told herself as she fell right into another one of his tricks. kyung jun knew her well; too well for her liking. and with such measly words she found herself helplessly cornered by her own self-discipline and morals.

fucking bastard.

up in the vast dormitory area of the resort center, different groups of people were each caught up in their own conversations, without a single care in the world or the impending sinister feeling hanging over their heads like an invisible wrecking ball about to crash and destroy every single thing they ever cared for.

in her room, lee yoon seo was finally able to lose herself in her novel when her phone pinged. slightly annoyed by the distraction she took a closer look to her home screen, which displayed an app in process of downloading.

"i told you i didn't need this." she showed the screen to her roommate.

"it wasn't me." jung won answered, just as astounded.

our perspective changes and now we observe a group of various students, all gathered in one room. the class couple, the cheerleaders and members of the student council all sharing snacks and stories between them in perfect harmony until a knock interrupted. 

"come in!" allowed the vice president.

"hey guys," the door opened, reavealing hyun ho accompanied by his best friend, dong hyun, who stayed on the hallway behind him. "has anyone seen yn?"

"how come you don't know? you're always following her." mocked woo ram before taking a handful of chips from one of the various bags scattered around the room.

"you're one to talk." ji soo muttered, which provoked woo ram to throw a scrambled napkin her way.

"i'm serious." hyun ho replied, "i've tried texting her but this wifi doesn't even work."

"she told me she was going to get some water, isn't she downstairs?" just as so mi finished her sentence, one by one every phone in the room chimed.

notifications spread throughout the resort like a 14th century pandemic, resonating around every room as if imitating the never ending bells that announced the beginning of the end.

back in the gymnasium, joo won stood shaking below the basketball hoop with his friend by his side, eyes shut tight as neither dared watch the nearing hit from the ball.

"joo won, stay right there." kyung jun sneered as he prepared himself to throw. he looked up, targeting the net as he bent his knees, faked a jump, and sent the ball right into the boy's stomach.

joo won kneeled in pain, groaning and grasping his abdomen with both hands in his best attempt to soothe the aching sensation puncturing his body.

yn watched the situation unfold as she sat on the rubber gym flooring, otherwise cold if it weren't for seung bin's zip-up laid out below her. it had been kyung jun who'd instructed the blondie to give up his hoodie, since yn declined on taking his own. not a single word was heard from the girl ever since stepping into the gym as the trio took turns tormenting their two victims, until now.

"i didn't come here for this, kyung jun."

almost ten minutes had passed and she was still waiting for kyung jun to approach her and start the conversation he so adamantly pushed onto her.

"c'mon yn, let me give it one more shot."

he must've lost his fucking mind, thinking he had her wrapped around his finger to waste her time in such a way. fed up, yn got up and snatched the basketball out of his hands before throwing it away. it rolled towards jin ha, who immediately picked it up to quite the sound of the bouncing that only seemed to raise the tension of the ex-lovers' quarrel.

yn opened her mouth to give kyung jun an ultimatum, a last opportunity out of her remaining patience, when a sudden ding emitted out of her skirt's pocket. she would've payed no mind to it if it weren't for the other five identical sounds that propagated right after.

each person in the room took out their phones and faced their screens, which displayed a virtual envelope eagerly waiting to be opened. 

TAP TO VIEW YOU ROLE, read the text below.

"wasn't this the resort's app?" asked jin ha, to nobody in particular.

resort's app? 

she never knew about any app.

"mafia?" seung bin laughed from his spot at the floor and showed his screen. "what's this about?"

"what the fuck is this?" kyung jun mumbled with a frown, clearly confused.

yn brought one hand to the back of her neck as the abnormal sensation from minutes ago reappeared. goosebumps started breaking out throughout her skin and every cell on her body seemed to tremble uncontrollably while she stared at the little black mirror on her hand. which, as she would soon find out, reflected the last version of herself with any shred of purity.

🏷️ @flaneurpastel - @jwijii - @watamotee33

© to @divineei on tumblr; do not repost or steal

[struwberrii]

hi lovely !! (ㆁᴗㆁ✿)

i saw you also love suga~ and after seeing those oikawa headcannons i would love to know if you would make some sugawara ones (i don’t know if i have to specify but, pre-timeskip:3)!!

koushi needs more loveeeeee 𓂃 ࣪˖

thank youuu!! have a great day!!

suga headcannons ⋆˚🐾˖°

thank you for the request (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

i totally agree w u!! where are all the sugawara fans at!!! but here are some of my cute and silly sugawara headcannons :3

༘⋆🌷🫧💭₊˚ෆ

he loves thrifting, his ideal hangout would be grabbing some fast food or boba then thrifting

loves doing those stupid tiktok trends, like he has a million capcut edits of chickens pooping you out lol

he gives me middle child vibes, i feel like he would totally have an older sister (she’s like a year older and they’re besties)

the best guy to go to for advice, like even if you don’t want advice he still knows exactly what to say to make you feel better

you guys HAVE to have a movie night at least once a month

his bag is covered in those cute hot topic pins

he always smells very fresh, like floral

he has the worlds biggest stanley cup and refills it at least 5 times a day

he’s super good at drawing and is always sketching silly cartoon characters on his assignments

he loves baking with you, even if neither of you are good at it, you always end up laughing and covered in flour and batter

he is a god at imessage word games, he shows no mercy

probably also in art club with yachi (they both just talk drama and paint) (also idk if u can be in multiple clubs let’s just pretend guys)

wears/keeps everything you give him, like if you make him a bracelet he’s never taking it off, if you give him a keychain it’ll be on his bag forever

if you ask him for advice on a situation he isn’t afraid to tell you when you’re at fault, he does NOT sugarcoat it

serial candle lighter, his room always has candles lit

always has medicine on him incase anyone around him isn’t feeling well

he’s the best tutor ever, if you’re confused suga is the guy to talk to

he has a polaroid camera and has like a hundred polaroids of his siblings, friends and you

probably has a plant that he takes the best care of

probably really into conspiracy theories, true crime and creepy pastas, he’s always watching scary stuff like that

his pinterest is updated hourly

always sneaks his phone during class and never gets caught

has the comfiest hoodies ever, if you’re ever cold he’ll let you borrow one

always has hand sanitizer on him

always brings extra snacks just incase

probably really into reality tv and loves talking about the drama with people who are also watching

he plays stardew valley

he has the cleanest and most organized bag ever

old people love him

he probably listens to the most random podcast ever like emergency intercom or very really good podcast

takes notes in different colored pens

probably loves romance anime and has the best recommendations

[propertyofyoutube]

I want to tell the world - EXPLICIT

Summary: You and Colby had been in a relationship for almost 10 months but you kept it on the down low. Colby wasn't ready to share you the world, only, you, Colby, Sam and your families knew of it and a couple of very close friends. You were invited on the dropouts podcast and when Zach flirted with you, and you flirted back as part of your cover.... Colby was not happy about it.

WARNINGS: SMUT 18+, unprotected sex, choking, dom!colby, spanking, inappropriate language, "slut", flirting, lots of dirty talk, arguments, angry!colby, creampie, utter filth tbh, alcohol consumption.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

"Oh my god yay! You're here!" Tara said as she excited opened up Zach's front door.

"We're here!" You laughed as you spoke walking into Tara embrace. "I missed you!" You smiled into the hug.

"I missed you too bitch!" Tara said laughing as she squeezed you tighter.

Zach suddenly appeared as Sam and Colby walked directly behind you, "what's up guys!" Zach said as he approached.

"Yo man, thanks for having us." Colby said as he smiled, shaking Zach's hand.

Sam moved in quickly, taking Colby's place, "I am so ready to my podcast on!" Sam said with a chuckle.

"That's a the spirit!" Zach said excitedly. "And hello miss y/l/n... oh how my empty heart is happy to see you." He said to you with a smirk as you rolled your eyes with a giggle. You turned to look at Colby, who did not look impressed at all. You give him a wink before smile at him. And with that smile he can't help but give you one in return.

Everyone said hello to the rest of the gang as they gathered in the studio taking their seats. You sat comfortably between Sam and Colby on the long bench as Jared took Alyssa's original spot and Tara in Jared's.

"And we're off!" Jared said as he initiated the beginning of the podcast.

"Okay guys," Zach spoke instantly, "before we get into.. into the dirty stuff... are you not going to acknowledge our outfits?" He said with the straightest face, his internet persona fully in action.

You, Sam and Colby all laughed as you looked at everyone dressed as Scooby doo characters. "You know I was thinking that you had an interesting choice of outfit." Colby said as he pointed at Jared laughing, who was wearing an actual Scooby doo costume.

"Well... I mean this is not usually how I would dress." Jared said chuckling.

"Did we.. did we not give you a good reaction when we came in?" Sam said sarcastically knowing we had no reaction what so ever.

Zach spoke quickly, "well I know that y/n wanted to jump on me and rip this thing off because we all know she can't resist a man, well any man." He said jokingly, insinuating that she was a slut. Sam and colby laughed as you rolled your eyes.

"Zach, stop making my friend feel like a slut!" Tara said across the room into the microphone.

You felt Colby's knee brush against you subtly as you couldn't help but smile. You suddenly, had a thought, not only do you need to keep up the act of you and Colby not being together, because he wasn't ready to share you with the world, it might be fun to play with him a little bit.

"I'm not saying she's a slut, but I'm just saying... I would not say no." He smirked at you as you raised your eyebrows.

"If you keep talking like this Zach, you might have a busy schedule later on that you can't handle." You said with a smirk and a chuckle. Colbys smile quickly dropped, he wanted to say something, but knew that he couldn't.

"Oh ay!" Zach said excitedly, "don't threaten me with a good time." He smiled.

You could feel Colby's leg start to twitch as he sucked his teeth and you couldn't help but hold in a chuckle.

>>>>>>>>>>>

You were about halfway through the podcast as Sam spoke laughing, "well no, I mean I went into their room to wake them up, and I thought-"

"Wait, did you just say their room?" Zach asked his mouth open and eyebrows raised, "are you two a thing? Did you just out them?" Zach said with excitement in his voice that they were getting a juicy reveal.

"What? No!" You said quickly with a laugh as Colby shook his head looking down. After all the flirtatious comments Zach has given you all night, he wanted nothing more than to tell Zach that if he makes a move on his girl one more time, he's gonna beat his ass. He bit his lip harder as Sam spoke.

"No no, I meant like to their rooms 's'" he repeated the 's' with a laugh.

Zach dramatically sighed in relief, "oh good, because believe me, I would never climb another squirrels tree."

You tilted your head at Zach, "so I'm a tree now?"

He nodded, "well, you're mostly a tree you're just missing the one thing that I'm going to give to you..." he smirked as you looked at him confused, "some wood."

Your mouth fell open as you couldn't help but laugh. But you heard Colby whisper under his breath, "okay." He was losing his cool big time. You gave Colby a look before changing the subject quickly.

"So Tara, when are you going to come on a ghost hunt with us?" You said turning away from Zach. Colby smiled at him you. You could tell that he was still furious right now, but he was trying to relax slightly.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

At the end of the podcast and the filming of the after school special, you were sat talking with Tara as Zach headed into the kitchen to fetch you all a drink. You hadn't noticed as Colby headed in there with him.

"Dude, y/n man, wow." Zach said as he opened up the refrigerator.

Colby took a deep breath before responding, "yeah... she's beautiful." Colby was having an internal battle with himself, he wasn't ready for the fans to know.

"Beautiful? Dude, with that attitude, I wanna put her in her place, being on all fours of you know what I mean." Zach said as a joke but Colby couldn't take it anymore.

"Shut the fuck up man." Colby said sternly as Zach quickly looked at him startled.

"What?" Zach said.

"Uh... we gotta go." Colby said as he quickly walked out of the room, wanting nothing more than to beat Zach with the shit he was coming out with, flirting with you all night.

Zach looked at him shocked, "uh okay." He said as he watched him walk out the kitchen.

"Y/n, Sam, let's go." Colby said quickly.

You and Sam looked up at him noticing the look on his face. You both knew that look, that was his 'I'm gonna blow' look. "Yeah sure." Sam said quickly standing up from where he sat with Jared.

As you all said goodbye to everyone, Zach finally appeared just as you were about to leave. "Hey, y/n wait!" He shouted as you turned.

"Yeah, what's up?" You smiled.

"We're going to be going to a party tomorrow night, and I think you should come." He said with a smirk.

"Sounds fun, we'll let you know tomorrow." You suggested on behalf of you, Colby and Sam.

"Cool, you can leave your purse at home, I'll be buying you drinks." Zach said with a smirk.

"Well, I can't argue with that!" You smiled with a laugh as you hugged him to leave. "See you tomorrow." You smiled once more before turning to see Colby walking out the door, his steps almost furious.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The car ride home, Colby focused on driving, he hardly said a word. You sat in the passenger seat with Sam in the back, and as you and Sam chatted. You looked at Colby and could see how his teeth were grinding together and his jaw was flexed. "You okay baby?" You asked softly.

"Yep." Colby didn't even look at you. He just kept driving, his thumb tapping against the stirring wheel. You turned and looked at Sam confused as he shrugged his shoulders.

As soon as you reached home, Colby quickly got out of the car, the door slamming slightly louder than usual. He headed straight inside, grabbing a white claw out of the refrigerator before heading straight upstairs to your shared bedroom. You sighed looking at Sam as you both stood there, shocked and confused by his actions. He's never acted like this before.

As you reached the bedroom door you took a deep breath before stepping inside, "baby?"

Colby sat on his sofa flicking through his for you page on TikTok, sipping on his white claw. He didn't say anything.

"Colby." You said more firmly, "what's going on?"

Colby looked up almost like he couldn't believe what you were saying, "are you fucking kidding me, y/n?"

You froze as you looked at him, "I'm sorry, what?"

"You just had to flirt back with him didn't you." Colby said, annoyed.

You shook your head in disbelief, you couldn't believe what he was saying, "woah hang on, are you pissed at me right now?"

"Yes- I mean no... I just-" Colby said as he quickly stood up and began pacing around the room.

"You wanted this Colby!" You said loudly, starting to lose your patience.

"I didn't want you to make him think he had a chance with you!" Colby shouted.

"You told me, that I had to act the same way as I did before, us..." you said as you walked closer to him, "you know that I was known as an outgoing flirty person! I was just doing what you asked!" You shouted.

Colby stopped, his breathing heavy as he looked at you, "You know he told me he wanted to get you on all fours."

You swallowed hard, you didn't know that, and you didn't know what to respond.

"And I had to let him say it. All because-" Colby said as you interrupted him.

"Because you what? You're ashamed to tell everyone about me?" You said without thinking as your insecurities finally came out. You truly believed that all of this secrecy was because Colby was ashamed.

"No! Don't ever say that!" Colby shouted walking to you quickly, "it's because my fans will give you hate, and you'll leave me! And I can't have that!" Colby said as you could see tears beginning to form in his eyes. You looked at him as your expression softened. "I can't lose you, especially because of them. I love my fans but... you mean more to me than anything else in this world." Colby whole demeanour changed as he spoke, his head now looking at the floor.

"Colbs... I would never leave you." You said honestly as you reached to grab his hands. "You are everything to me, and do you think me getting death threats from some little keyboard warriors would tear me away from you? Because they wouldn't."

Colby slowly looked up to you, his eyes watering as he held in tears, "I wanted to tear Zach a new limb... I wanted to scream that you were mine on that podcast. But I was just so scared."

You reached your hand up to caress his cheek as you spoke, "Colby... i am yours. And I would love nothing more than for the world to know that."

"What if- what if you can't handle the hate?" He asked nervously.

You chuckled, "Colby. You are starting a whole other fight here if, after all this time, you think I couldn't handle it!"

Colby laughed as he hung his head, a tear falling down his cheek, "you're right. I just love you." He looked up, "more than you know."

"I know you do baby. I love you too." You said as you pulled his head so his forehead met yours.

"I'm so sorry, y/n." He said as he composed himself. Kissing your forehead gently.

"It's okay..." you said back with a smile, "to be honest. It was fun to see you get all worked up when Zach flirted with me."

Colby stepped away as he laughed, "yeah yeah, I just loved it too." He said sarcastically.

You couldn't help yourself, angry Colby definitely turned you on more than ever, "oh you loved it?" He sat down on the sofa as you spoke, picking up his white claw to have a drink. "You loved the idea of him touching me..."

Colby's attention snapped back to you as you continued, you walked over to him, as you suddenly sat down on him, straddling his lap, "his hands all over my body." You tilted your head with a smirk.

Colby threw his had back against the sofa, "y/n please. Stop." You could see him getting angry again, and you couldn't lie. You loved it. You loved how his muscles tensed and his jaw locked.

"What's wrong baby?" You leaned your body closer to his as his hands found their way to your thighs. You whispered right next to his ear, "did you love the idea of him having me on all fours..." Colby's grip on your thighs tightened as you felt his fingers dig into your skin.

"Baby... please." Colby rolled his eyes as he clenched his teeth tightly together as his breathing quickened. You suddenly took his hand and dragged it all up your body, his eyes locking on the journey you took it on as his mouth opened and his jaw fell slack.

Just as you reached up to your neck, you placed your hand over his, bending his grip to the familiar position, "his hands around my neck, choking me as he fucked-"

Suddenly Colby's grip tightened catching you off guard as he pulled your head closer to his, just inches away. "You're being very naughty y/n." There it was, that low and dark dominate voice.

You looked at him with a smirk, "and what are you going to do about it?" You teased.

Colby examined your facial features before suddenly pulling you in, closing the gap between you as your lips smashed together. The kiss instantly deep and passionate. You could feel his dick began to harden through your jeans as your body grinded against him. Suddenly Colby pulled away, gripping your throat once again, "first, I'm gonna fuck you senseless." Colby spoke his voice hoarse, "and then.. I'm going to take you to that party tomorrow and show everyone exactly who you belong to."

You smiled at him as you tucked your bottom lip between your teeth. Before you could respond, colby suddenly moved his hands to grab your ass tightly as he quickly stood up, lifting you with him. You let out an excited squeal and you seen the smirk toying with Colby's lips as he walked you over to the bed. He gave you no warning before throwing you down as your back his the sheets, your body filled with adrenaline and your panties growing wetter with each passing second. "Strip." Colby demanded as he began to remove his clothes.

You obeyed as you sat up, taking each of your items of clothing off, quickly and promptly as you watched him also undress. Once he was finished, you looked up at him, his body amazed you every single time. Your eyes examined from his face, down his torso, to his hard cock soaked with precum. "Fuck..." you breathed out as you bit your lip.

Colby suddenly grabbed your ankles, pulling you to lay flat in front of him. He slowly positioned himself above you, his body between your legs as your core ached. "You've been very bad today." Colby spoke deeply. "Are you going to be a good girl for me now?" You nodded eagerly. "Use your words, princess." Colby said as his hands ran all over your body.

"Yes baby." You whispered.

"That's more like it," Colby said as he suddenly reached his hand down your body as you squirmed beneath him. His fingers finding your clit and rubbing quickly.

"Oh fuck." You moaned as you threw your head back your body arching up against him.

Colby leaned down and began kissing along your neck, sucking and nibbling in all the right places. He suddenly slipped two fingers inside of your dripping heat as your body crumbled beneath him, "fuck yes baby, don't stop!" You felt that knot forming in your stomach.

Colby mumbled against your neck, "don't you dare cum until I say." His words intensified your pleasure as you desperately tried to hold it in, "I'm the only one who can make you feel like this... I'm the only one." You moaned louder as he spoke, Colby moved to look at you, "say it." He demanded.

You threw your head back as he curled his fingers, your orgasm just inches away, "you're- you're the only one."

"That's a good girl." Colby said as he thrusted his fingers quicker, "now cum." It was like his words were a magical spell as you instantly came all over his fingers with his command.

"Fuck Colby..." you groaned as your body became overrun with pleasure and passion. Colby gave you no time to recover.

"Roll over." He said instantly. You tried to catch your breath as your body, already feeling weak, flipped over onto your stomach.

You suddenly felt Colby's hands grip your hips as he pulled you up swiftly onto all fours, taking your breath away. You felt as his hands ran across your ass, squeezing tightly. Colby kneeled behind you getting into position. "I'm the only one who'll get to see you like this. On all fours. Wanting me."

You began to rock your body, back and forth pushing it into him, whimpering for more. "Please baby." You whined.

Colby chuckled as his hand gripped your ass even tighter, "please what baby?" Suddenly, Colby lifted his palm bringing it down hard on your ass cheek as you squealed from the sting.

"Ple- please fuck me." You begged as you wiggled your hips, desperate to feel his dick inside you.

Colby bit his lip hard, the was not other sight he loved more than you, on all fours, begging for his dick. He lined himself, "tell me who you belong to." He spoke deeply as he teased your entrance with his tip.

You gasped, "y- you baby. I belong to you." Your breath began to shake as your core burned, his teasing tip sending shocks throughout your entire body.

"Again!" Colby said more firmly as he suddenly pushed his cock into your heat, your walls stretching around him slowly. He groaned deeply.

You inhaled sharply, "argh... you, I'm- I'm yours Colby!" You cried out.

Suddenly he pulled back out quickly before pushing himself in even deeper. "Fuck. That's right baby." He moaned as he began to thrust in and out, "you're all mine."

"Fuck!" You cried out as he began to pound into you, "yes yes yes."

"Fuck you feel so good." Colby groaned as the feel of you surrounding him, made him weak at the knees. "Such a little slut, just for me." He groaned deeply as he brought up his hand smacking you hard against the ass once again.

"Fuckkk..." you groaned deeply as his hand slid up your back and into your hair, gripping it in a ponytail. He tugged pulling your head backwards and you could feel as your walls began to clench around him.

"Are you gonna cum again, baby?" Colby asked as he continued to thrust, his grip on your hair growing tighter and tighter.

"Yes- yes fuck..." you moaned loudly as the knot in your stomach formed and you felt your your legs being to shake.

Colby felt your walls clenching around him, "just a little longer baby, I'm almost there. You have to cum with me, okay?"

You tried to speak but words wouldn't come out. Suddenly Colby's hand slapped your ass once again as he pulled your head back further, "okay?!" He grunted.

"Yes baby yes." You cried out, desperate to feel that highball over again.

Colby pounded harder than ever as both moaned out, shouting a string of curse words, "fuck, I love you so fucking much."

"I- I love- y-you too." You could barely speak, "please let me cum!" You shouted as your eyes rolled to the back of your head.

"Fuck..." Colby's thrusts grew quicker and even more powerful, "now baby!" He groaned deeply as you released, your orgasm hitting you as Colby's dick twitched inside you, followed by his hot cum filling you up. "Fuck y/n..." he moaned out, his feel deep and low.

You both panted out of breath, as Colby slowly pulled out, his cum following along, spilling out of you. He bit his lip at the sight. "Are you okay?" Colby asked instantly. You nodded slowly before collapsing down onto the bed.

>>>>>>>>>>>

You and Colby had laid together, your head on his chest as he planted many kisses on your head, his fingers tickling up and down your arm as you rested it against his torso.

"I'm sorry, but if me flirting with other guys gets me a pounding like that..." you said with a chuckle.

"No baby." Colby laughed, "if you want fucking like that... just ask." He said looking at you with a smile. "No more flirting." He said as he booped your nose with his index finger.

You smirked as you looked back down listening to his heart beat. "Listen..." Colby said as you nodded, he took a deep breath before continuing, "I... I want to make a video on my personal channel..."

You looked up at him, "oh really? It's been so long, what about?"

Colby took a moment before speaking, just looking into your eyes as a smile began to appear on his face, "you." You were taken back by his comment as your eyes widened. "I want to tell the world, that I am in love with the most beautiful girl."

You felt an uncontrollable smile beginning to form on your face.

"After tomorrow night though... first, I need to rub in Zach's face, just how fucking stunning you are on all fours." He said with a smirk.

Your mouth fell wide as you playfully hit him on the chest. He laughed as you joined him as he pulled your body on top of his, "I'm ready, y/n. I'm ready for whatever they want to throw at us." He said as he moved the hair out of your face.

You bit your lip before speaking in a whisper, "bring it." You both smiled as you connected your lips once again in a deep and passionate kiss.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

Authors note: this one was a bit more intense, I hope you liked it! Requests are open! Xx

[fireflyinks]

i LOVEEE the way you write hamzah can we get general bf hcss😭🙏🙏

boyfriend!hamzah headcannons

tysm!! loved writing this sm , thank you for the support!!

- first off, the nicknames he would give you! probably very basic, names like baby, babe, honey, etc. he would also call you girl and lady because he’s so sassy 😭

- speaking of his sassiness, it’s completely out of control. as well as being your boyfriend, he’s your number one gossip buddy.

- “girl, i know she did NOT say that to you…” “who does she think she is…” he lives for the drama

- if you’re a big reader and have a favorite book, he would try so hard to read it (which is so sweet because i swear this man is illiterate). maybe even for your birthday he would annotate it and give it to you. all of his annotations would be sooo dumb, like “BRO WHAT?” “EW” or just stupid jokes about the characters.

- he’s a secret hopeless romantic. like he acts all nonchalant in front of everyone else but when it’s just the two of you, he’s actually really sweet and loves doing stupid romantic stuff.

- do NOT open your own car door infront of this man, he will sulk up and be salty for the rest of the day

- IMAGINE ARCADE DATES WITH HIM OMG

- he is a BIG cuddler, but he denies that he likes being the small spoon. but when he’s really sleepy, he begs you to cuddle him. at any time of the day, he will drop everything to cuddle on the couch with you.

- he LOVESSS when you play with his hair, he will literally fold

- hamzah will use any excuse to bring you up on the channel, a lot like martin does with mandy.

- speaking of martin and mandy, you all go on double dates all of the time. he’s so happy that he doesn’t have to third wheel them anymore.

- he loves matching outfits with you. trust he forces you to wear camo pants with him!!

- hamzah films tiktoks with you all the time, like that one lipstick trend. also you would lip sync “promiscuous” with him, iykyk

- he’d also have you on the podcast all of the time, and sometimes have special episodes with just you and him when martin is busy.

- you and mandy would be best friends and make fun of your boyfriends together 🫶🏻

- hamzah is secretly very good at cooking, and it’s one of his love languages. you’d randomly come home to a full course gourmet meal on a random tuesday night. the only problem is he is extremely messy, and is covered head to toe in various ingredients.

- another one of his love languages is just quality time. he loves to spend time alone with you, and do things you both like.

- I LOVE BOYFRIEND!HAMZAH OMFG

[isagrimorie]

From House of R Podcast with Jac Schaeffer

Schaeffer: What I think it is important is that Billy holds himself responsible. I think, in these sorts of fantasy spaces in the MCU and other genre spaces the death toll, the repercussions of things are different than in the real world. Agatha's body count is staggering. She's also a centuries-old witch. So, you know, it's a tricky part of this work, and the way that I ground myself is: what is the character's opinion and emotions of their actions. I think Wanda is far more villainous than people give her credit for before Doctor Strange 2 not even talking about Doctor Strange 2, looking at WandaVision. I think if Billy had been made to realize on the Road what he was doing, he would have stopped it immediately. I think he also--his rage at Agatha in the basement when he's trying to banish her I think is about that, that she knew and she didn't tell him. But Wanda totally knows full well she's told, she sees what she's doing and she continues. I'm not calling Wanda a Villain at all, I think, she is wildly complicated and fascinating, and I love her. I think she also has an enormous amount of trauma, not that trauma is an excuse for anything. But I also look to Billy and that Billy has had three years of a calm, peaceful, loving home. You know? And I think these things are important. Agatha has never been loved by parental figures, ever. She's never been told she's good or valuable by parental figures. As far as we know, Rio is the only person who's told her that she's valuable, that she means something, that she's special. You know, so anyway, back to your question of the sort of morality. I'm not super concerned about people's--about fan reaction to it. It's like what I see as my accountability as a Storyteller and my team's accountability is making plain the internal life of these people when they make these decisions

(Emphasis mine.)

It is refreshing that as a storyteller, Jac writes a story for the characters.

There is a place for morality play stories, but not all stories should be one.

[seeingivy]

the beach

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting fic

an: 14k. buckle in. song mentioned is sparks by coldplay!

previous part linked here

--

to sukuna’s mother

eren: we’ll be there at five am. 

lana: OH ITS HAPPENING 

sukuna: did she slap you? 

lana: DID SHE KISS YOU? 

eren: she cried a bunch while watching it. and she hasn’t said much…she’s just been staring out the window of the airplane blankly

lana: oh that’s not-

sukuna: AHAHAHAHAH

lana: well, anyways. we’ll wake up for you.

sukuna: she’ll be fast asleep. i will wake up for you. 

eren liked a message 

The second Eren closes his phone, he looks to his left to find your pink, teary eyes looking at him and immediately pales. Your eyes are positively red at this point, an itchiness settling in his throat at the sight of it. 

“I’m sorry. Did you say something?” he asks. 

“No.” you murmur. 

Eren pauses. 

“Did you want to say something?” he asks. 

He watches you pause, almost like you’re mulling over the question. He supposes that it was quite stupid for him to ask, because if it were him in your spot, he probably would have talked your ear off for every little detail. 

“You can ask me anything you want. I’ll tell you the truth, I promise.” Eren adds. 

You give him a halfhearted nod, before looking back out at the window, at the little lights glittering amidst the clouds beneath. It’s like being asked to pick up each grain of sand on a vast, mile long beach. Almost impossible. 

“I don’t even know where to start, Eren.” you murmur. 

Eren gives you an understanding nod before yanking out his laptop before setting it flat in your lap. You swallow hard, knowing fully where he thinks you should begin. With that USB that’s been burning in your pocket, ever since he handed it back to you at the house. 

Of Eren’s interview, on the Life in Love podcast. 

Eren leans into your space, handing you one of the earphones that you settle into your ear, as you press the little play button at the bottom of the screen. The video starts - Eren and Lana sitting with the chunky headphones on their ears - with the interviewer sitting in between them. 

“We’ll start with you, Eren. Have you ever been in love?” the interviewer asks. 

You watch as Eren’s face splits into a bright smile, surely one that was echoed on your face too the day after the beach, as you feel a twinge in your chest. That whenever you saw clips of the interview, they filled you with such intense, deep rooted hatred for Eren that all you saw was red. 

And that he didn’t even deserve one fraction of it. 

“Yes. Of course, I have.” he responds. 

“The person that you’re most associated with, Eren, is your co-star, Y/N L/N, from Attack on Titan. Can you comment on that, on what it’s like to have your first love be something so public?” the interviewer asks. 

Eren sighs, before he leans back in his chair. 

“First love is a funny way to describe it, when it almost feels like it’s more than that? I know a lot of people like to assume things and we’ve never said it publicly, but we did date. Obviously. She’s basically been scored on my heart since the second I met her in my chemistry read, but we ended up officially dating around season three of Attack on Titan. But it’s almost like that concept or notion is too trivial to explain what I even felt for her. She was never just my girlfriend or just my best friend.” 

“Was it one of those…acting became too real situations?” the interviewer asks. 

“I guess that you could say that. We had originally started, I guess, thinking that way when we started doing our character work. It was a whole thing we did together, while we were filming Attack on Titan. Method acting. The reason Y/N and I act so well in Attack on Titan, and win awards from it, is because we had started doing it outside of it too.” Eren responds. 

“Can you elaborate?” the interviewer asks. 

“We had started by kind of putting ourselves in that headspace, off of the set, in order to feel more connected to our characters, their relationship together. I think one of the things about Attack on Titan that makes it so compelling is the fact that my co-stars and myself, not to pat myself on the back, put time and effort into translating our characters into something that is real for us.” Eren states. 

“It’s also something that you kind of just possess as an actor with certain co-stars. Some movies, like rom-coms or drama pieces, just function and work so well because you have that chemistry with the person whose on the other side. And make no mistake, Eren and Y/N aren’t short of any chemistry themselves.” Lana responds. 

“What it is about her that struck you really differently, Eren? Clearly the two of you have a special relationship that you haven’t really been able to replicate else place, certainly not with Hyla Clarkson, for example? I mean, if you’re comfortable, you can share what you told me before you we started recording.” the interviewer states. 

A searing, red hot anger flares through you, at how friendly, how approachable the interviewer seems. The fact that they’re purposely trying to make him feel safe, just to later edit the words as they see fit. 

“Make no mistake, what I have with Hyla Clarkson is like that thing thing that Y/N had with Ricky James. We all have managers, we all get asked to do things that we don’t exactly want to do. I guess that’s the part that people don’t really understand, when they find out about PR relationships. That it seems so morally wrong. But we’re all actors, we’re all part of the entertainment industry - it’s almost like it’s part of the job to do these types of thing. And at that point, Y/N and I weren’t dating and I have strict managers, so…” Eren states. 

“Are you saying that your relationship with Hyla Clarkson wasn’t real?” the interviewer asks. 

“The first time she kissed him he threw up on the other side of a yacht. Do you think his relationship with her is real?” Lana asks, earning a laugh from the two of them. 

“It’s kind of hard to wrap your head around. But we do these things, pretend a little. It’s basically like we’re acting all the time. None of that chemistry, or that character is there. I don’t even think I could ever really like her like that. And it’s not like the relationship I have with Y/N. You asked me why she was different than everyone else? It’s easy. I’ve never met anyone else like her. I’ve never had a relationship like the one I’ve had with anyone else.” 

Eren sighs, nervously knitting his fingers togther, before he talks again. 

“I grew up with this backdrop, of this really fractured relationship with my brother. I was always told as a kid that my family, that the people around me who were real, were the things that were going to keep me tethered to my real life. That if I choose to do this, that I’ll be in the public eye, that people will say things, and it’ll be on me to build trust. To choose the right people.” Eren starts. 

“It was already so jarring to feel like I couldn’t trust my own brother, that my only family didn’t want me. And Y/N…she just kind of walked into my life and there was something so earnest about her. She felt like family basically the second, or third time I had talked to her. She was just something so real. And I’m not sure if it’s because she had a normal childhood, if she came into this on her own or what, but she always got to give me that dose of reality, of realness that I had always craved.” he continues. 

“She was really gentle with me. Always quick to wipe my tears away, to give me support, that felt more full and honest than anyone else. Some part of her made me feel like a real person. I’d always be in my own head, convincing myself that I was made up sometimes, that my feelings were manufactured, that I was just putting on a front for everyone, but I never really felt that way with her. She’s always seen past that, always seen me, in our relationship. Even when we were just friends.” Eren finishes. 

“And that’s just a quality that she naturally possesses. The first time she met me, she basically had no reason to have any trust, to have any good conviction of me. But by the end of the third or fourth day I knew her, I basically felt like the girl had seen right through me. All the way down to my core. And of course, all she saw was good. That’s how she is. I think for people like Eren and I, who naturally think so rotten of ourselves, someone like Y/N, whose so determined in how she shows her love, you almost….start to love yourself too. It’s not something that’s isolated to her, but it’s definitely something rare. People like Y/N and like Marco Bodt…that type of thing is just a part of them.” Lana states. 

“That’s wonderful to hear, especially from you. Y/N has an interesting track record with her own friends, like Historia and Jean and Mikasa that many people have pointed out before. That there’s a part of her that’s conniving, that she uses those around her to get to the top. Is that ever something you’ve noticed, Lana? Especially as someone who would be in competition with her, as a singer-songwriter yourself.” 

“Absolutely not. I think she has drive and ambition and I think that people confuse that with being conniving or competitive. Her existence means that people are going to put her against me or Historia, but that’s just because we’re women. That has nothing to do with something that’s isolated to Y/N and more with people who are just shitty and can’t see two women succeed at once.” Lana states. 

“She’s very focused on her craft - any role, any song she writes - they’re so deeply personal and authentic. That’s why she is so successful, why people covet after her so bad. I don’t consider myself to be in competition with her at all. And if I actually thought I was, I don’t think I would even last a day.” Lana continues.

“That’s something I’ve always admired about her. You’re in competition - and people are putting you there, against people you love - and you have that thing you really want, you’ll do anything to get it. There’s a mentality that people get about it. There’s only one person who ends up on a pedestal and if you have to kick people off to get there, that’s what it is. But she never, ever, put her own friends at stake in ways that she could to do that. I mean all of those rumors about Historia were coming out and she wrote dorothea of all songs, about how important their relationship is always going to be her.” Eren states. 

“You have to hold onto those type of people around you, in this type of industry, when you find them.” Lana states. 

“Good thing for me, then. I never intend to let go.” Eren adds. 

The interviewer smiles, turning to the camera, before talking again. 

“Eren’s prepared a song for us, his first in a while, that he’s going to perform for us live. What’s the song called, Eren?” 

“Sparks.” 

“Any hints to what it’s about?” 

“It’s quite obvious.” Eren responds. 

Lana starts strumming on the guitar, as Eren sings and those godawful tears of yours return. You loop your arm through Eren’s free one on your side, entirely jarred by how calm Eren is watching the interview. At how he’s not a mess, a ruin, like you are at seeing this. 

My heart is yours It's you that I hold on to Yeah, that's what I do

And I know, I was wrong But I won't let you down Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I will, yes, I will

Yeah, I saw sparks Yeah, I saw sparks And I saw sparks

The video ends, as you wipe the wetness away on your cheeks and look over at Eren on your side. You lean your head on Eren’s shoulder, unable to look at his piercing green eyes, as he returns the favor and leans his head on top of yours. You try to figure out how to broach it - this big mess of questions in your head - but it seems that Eren saves you from figuring that out and talks first. 

“You said the other day on set you wanted to know why I want on that podcast and said what I did. You wanted to know if I still cared about you…do you know now?” Eren asks, his words so slow and careful. 

“Is it idiot day?” you ask. 

“Huh?” 

“Is it idiot day? Do you really think I’m still sitting here being mad at you? You….” 

You reach forward to cup the side of his face, brushing the softness on his cheek. 

“I have a hundred things I have to say to you. I-I don’t want to speak wrong. Can you give me a second?” you ask. 

Eren smiles, lifting his hand to place it over where yours is on his cheek. 

“I made you wait like…three years. I think I can wait a second for you, Margaret.” Eren whispers. 

You frown, nodding as Eren places his hand on your head and leans it back onto his shoulder. 

“Thanks, Bruce.” you murmur back. 

“Go to sleep. I’ll wake you up when we’re there.” Eren repsonds. 

--

It’s only when the two of you are walking up the cobblestone path, barely illuminated by the light of the rising sun, that you realize that Eren’s brought you back to the same beach house that the two of you had visited before. 

In the past twenty four hours (the ones you’ve been awake for anyways), the only thing that seems to be replaying in your mind is that night. Because every action of Eren’s that you’ve doubted seems painfully obvious now. The song he wrote, the way he insisted that the two of you were real people, only together. 

That Eren gave you so many signs. And that you didn’t know how to read them. 

The salty air stings at your nose as Eren pulls up the mat, pocketing the key placed under it, and giving you a smile. 

“Isn’t that really dangerous? To keep a key under their mat when they live so…out in the open?” you ask. 

“Sukuna put it there for me. And no one knows they live here. This is technically Lana’s brother’s house, so they never really suspected it.” Eren offers, shoving the key into the lock as he twists the knob open. 

You and Eren quietly set your bags by the door, making it a point to tip toe in the early hours of the morning only to pad into the main room to find Lana standing near the counter, cracking eggs into the bowl. 

“Oh my god! Don’t tell me that Lana No Middle Name Price is awake at a normal hour of the day?” Eren deadpans, giving her a jeering smile as she all but drops her little spatula and runs over to hug him. 

You watch the two of them, the way Eren seems more calm in his demeanour now, as the two of them lean against the counter and talk. His shoulders are more relaxed, the softest of smiles on his face while Lana looks unlike you’ve ever seen her. 

Her hair is extremely short, barely secured into a ponytail at the back of her neck with a pink ribbon. But even more than that, it’s something about her smile, the way her eyes are glimmering that it fills that gaping hole that’s been burning in your chest with the smallest warmth as you watch the two of them. 

“Sukuna’s going to get mad when you burn those cookies.” Eren states. 

“I’m not going to burn the cookies, Eren. That was one time.” she responds. 

“You almost fed your son a carcinogen. And burned the house down. Also, we all inhaled a lot of smoke so you probably ruined our lungs for all we know-” 

Lana lightly smacks him straight across the face, as he laughs and immediately swats her hands off. The two of them continue that way - pushing and shoving each other like siblings - until Lana pushes Eren a little bit too hard and he backs up into you. 

Eren immediately looks back, his hands on your shoulders as he stables your wobble, and you shoot him a grateful smile. It’s only then that Lana notices you standing there, at the front of her little kitchen, and you shoot her a smile. 

Lana’s quick to run to your side and give you a hug - the pressure on your body so tight that you can feel her squeezing that little burden of hurt that’s been sitting in your chest. Lana makes no move to let go, as you quickly deflate into her arms and start sniffling into her shoulder, immediate warm tears sparking in your eyes as her hands rub circles into your back. 

“We’ll talk, Tinky Winky. About all of it, okay?” she whispers. 

You give her a nod, as you wipe the tears from your eyes. You follow the two of them into the kitchen, as Lana continues to roll the little cookies into circular shapes. 

“Eren. Go away.” Lana states. 

“Wow. Is this how you repay me? After I take care of your son?” 

“He is your godson. You should be happy to take care of him. And they just left for their walk not that long ago, you can catch up.” Lana states. 

“Sukuna is a speedwalker. They’re probably long gone.” Eren whines. 

“Eren. Respectfully, get out of my house. Go sit on the beach and stare at the water like the little freak that you are and let me talk to Y/N in private.” Lana states. 

“I do not-!” 

“Yes, you do. Y/N, I swear to god, he sat out there everyday and we had to drag him back in like we were pulling an anchor out of the sea. Now get out.” Lana states. 

Eren sticks his tongue out, before shooting you a warm smile and padding out onto the sand. You stick your hand into the bowl, rolling the cookies into little circles with her as you give her a smile. 

“Cute ribbon.” you murmur. 

“I wore it for you. A Y/N classique.” Lana responds. 

You smile in response, as the two of you continue to roll the batter and decide what you want to talk about first. And just like Eren, she bites the bullet for you first. 

“Sukuna’s here. He’s just on a walk right now with Teddy.” 

You smile to yourself, the thought of it filling you with an immense amount of joy. 

“Do they do that often?” 

“Every day. Teddy’s quite the insomniac and wakes up extremely early. Sukuna lets me sleep in a little and takes him on a little walk along the beach. Says that they need their father son bonding time.” she muses. 

“I remember that about him. Theodore or Teddy, I mean. When Eren brought me here, in the dead of night, he was awake. With your brother, making cookies.” 

She smiles, setting the little tray in the oven, as she gestures for you to follow her onto the couch. 

“Theodore, huh? Eren did tell me he had quite the crush on you back then.” Lana states. 

“Huh?” 

“He doesn’t really go by Theodore. Eren and I call him Teddy and Sukuna calls him Theo, but…Theodore just feels a little bit too formal. He only uses it for really important people. Like you. And when he starts talking to Elsa on the TV screen.” 

“I’m glad I’m keeping such important company.” you respond. 

You laugh, hiking your knees to your chest as you decide to bite the bullet full on. 

“Lana….Ricky isn’t in his life, right?” you whisper. 

She gives you a nod, placing one of her hands on yours, as she gives you a warm smile. 

“No. Thankfully, he’s never even met Teddy. And he’s not going to.” 

“Does he know about him?” you ask. 

“Yeah. I had told him, a few weeks after it happened. When I started showing. And you know how he is…he wanted me to have an abortion and be done with it. But I…I couldn’t go through with it.” Lana states. 

She sighs, cracking her knuckles. 

“I know it seems weird. I really do hate Ricky, everything about him, but Teddy isn’t really…his in my mind. And-” 

“He’s your son. And Sukuna’s. I wasn’t even thinking that. And…and even if I was, you don’t need to explain yourself to me of all people.” you respond. 

Lana scoots closer to you on the couch, as she leans her head on your shoulder and you place yours on top of hers. 

“I kind of saw it as my way out for some time. LIke, I was so deep in with everything and all the people that we were working with. It would have never been acceptable to take a break, not unless I had to take one. And I’m not saying that I had him because I wanted to get away from work, but to me…it just kind of felt like a sign. I got to crank the brakes.” 

“I’m sure it was good for you, in ways that you might not even know about yet.” 

“I think he saved my life, Y/N. I was so deep in that shitty, self-absorbed bubble of the industry and how it is and he just…reminded me other things were more important. He took his first steps and he’s learning how to play the piano…his entire world is confined to what movie we’re going to play after lunch. Who's going to tuck him into bed at night. That’s how life should be. And that’s always how I wanted mine to look. Soft, calm.” 

You smile, squeezing one of her hands interlocked with yours. At the thought of Lana, wishing for this exact future when she was a kid, only to have it now. That she fought nail and tooh for it, but still got to have it. 

“I would have told you about Teddy. About everything. But I wanted to keep it as under wraps as I could and-” she starts. 

“You are entitled to share your secrets with whoever you want. You don’t owe anything to me.” you state. 

“I know. But just know, it’s not because I didn’t trust you. You mean the world to me, in more ways than you could ever possibly know.” Lana states. 

You shake your head dismissively, as she quickly brushes you off. 

“No, really. Eren and I…I know it can be really hard to understand why we did what we did. Why we kept so much but from you. But we grew up in this type of thing. It seems difficult to confront these things head on, when they’re basically what your whole lives have revolved around.” Lana states. 

“I get that. But…you guys seem fine doing it now? Especially with the documentary and all, I guess I just…wish I knew earlier. Could have helped you both to this point sooner. I feel shitty because you did it all on your own and you didn’t have to.” 

Lana smiles. 

“You know we only did that because of you, right? The documentary.” 

“You mean Eren.” 

“No. I mean Connie. Me. Sukuna, even. And you know how…private he is. But we did it because of you. You’ve always reminded us, in your own ways, not to take shit from people. And at this point, we don’t really have anything to lose. Only things to gain. Like you back in our life. Control over our lives again.” 

“You guys are building me up into this big thing I’m not. I hid out for two years because I was too scared to confront everything. I ignored all of you because it was easy for me to do. I’m far from this big..confrontational person you think I am. And I’m definitely not as good of a friend or supporter to you all like you think I am.” you murmur. 

“Or…you just think too little of yourself. You went through something big, traumatic even. So did we. It’s no shit that Eren was special to you, so of course the loss of him was going to be big. And you also had your fucking life’s work stolen from you, which is nothing small, Y/N.” 

“I guess.” 

“One of the biggest, most important things that Eren has taught me was having grace. Don’t ever tell him that because you already know how big his fucking head is. But…there’s a lot of patience that you have to have with yourself to get yourself out of that headspace. I lived there for years. And it is so not feasible for you, Y/N. At the end of the day, you’re still someone in our lives whose stood for the right things. And you still have that impact, even if you feel like that’s not what you’re doing right now. You don’t always have to be one thing to be the same person. Who you are, who you’ve always been, won’t ever change.” 

You swallow hard. 

“So you missed a few days? There’s another one tomorrow, Y/N. You lost a few years with Eren? That doesn’t matter because he’s still always going to be there for you.” Lana states. 

You give her a nod, embarrassed that she’s read so quickly through you when it comes to Eren, as you pinch a smile for her. 

 “Just like the moons and the suns, with the certainty of the tides, just like hope springing high, still you’ll rise.” Lana states. 

Eren’s words from the beach. 

“Maya Angelou. Eren’s told me that one before.” 

Lana smiles, rolling her eyes. 

“He’s cheesy. But it doesn’t make it any less true.” 

You wrap your arms around her, sighing into her shoulder, as she hugs you hard. 

“I’m really proud of you for owning it all. I hope that you get to drag Ricky’s name through the mud. For good this time.” you respond. 

“A girl can hope.” 

“And hank you, Lana.” 

She tilts her head in confusion. 

“You took care of Eren when I couldn’t. I won’t exactly be able to repay you for that.” you murmur. 

“Consider yourself repaid. You did the same for Sukuna before I knew him.” 

You scoff. 

“As if. Sukuna and I are nowhere near how you and Eren are.” 

She shakes her head dismissively, as she hops up on her feet and drags you by the arm to the hallway. The walls are littered in little frames, each little photo sweet little memories. 

There’s pictures of Lana, Sukuna, and Teddy on the beach and of Eren sitting at the piano with Teddy in his lap. Of Lana and Eren fast asleep on the couch and of Sukuna and Yuuji pulling each other’s cheeks as kids. And the last one in the row is of you and Sukuna, cheesing on the set of Ten Things I Hate About You. 

“It might not feel that way to you, but you’re his best friend. He’s told me that you were one of the first people - to meet him and treat him like a person. It’s no shit that everyone hated him when he was sixteen, but you were the one to extend your hand to him and be friends. Means a lot more to him than you think.” she murmurs. 

You give her a nod, as the two of you shuffle back into the kitchen and take the little tray of cookies out of the oven. You nicely plate them all onto the platter and turn around to wash your hands, as Sukuna, Teddy, and Eren pad back into the kitchen. 

“Ryomen Sukuna, if you track sand into my house again, I’m sending you right back out and you’re staying there for a few days.” Lana warns. 

You turn around to find Sukuna giving Lana an eye roll, as he leans forward and presses a kiss to her cheek. His arm is still secured around her as he faces the platter of cookies. 

“Lana Price. Did you bake something without setting the house on fire?” Sukuna asks. 

“Yes. I’m not incompetent, you know?” Lana responds, trying to shove him off. 

“Right. Making ready-made cookies is such a difficult task. Quite the feat if you ask me.” 

“It is! You have no idea.” she deadpans back, as Teddy runs up to hug her legs and she lifts him straight into her arms. 

Teddy reachs for the little ribbon in her hair immediately, twisting it in his little hands as he yanks it out of her hair. 

“Teddy, tell your dad he’s being very rude. And that I’m a very good cook.” Lana states. 

“Mommy. You almost made a car engine.” Teddy responds. 

“Buddy. It’s carcinogen. Car-sin-o-gen.” Eren repeats, annunciating every syllable. 

“Eren, quit teaching my kid bad words. You’re a horrible influence. And Y/N was watching me while I made them so…” Lana murmurs, pressing a kiss to Teddy’s cheek before setting him back on the floor and letting him run up in between Eren’s legs. 

Eren gives you a smile from your little vantage point near the sink, as he gestures for you to come closer to him. You follow and crouch down to where Eren - and Teddy - are standing as Teddy nervously peeks at you from behind Eren’s back. 

“Okay, bud. This is my pretty friend, Y/N. Can you say hi?” he asks. 

Teddy’s cheeks turn bright red, as he nervously toussles his hair, before extending his little hand to you. 

“My name is Theodore Price. My mommy calls me Teddy. And Eren. And my dad calls me Theo. And the mailman always calls me kid.” Teddy rambles. 

You fight the urge to laugh, at how cute he is, as you smile at him. 

“Well, it’s very nice to meet you. I’m Y/N.” you respond, shaking his little hand as you watch a little smile spread across his face. 

You look up to find Sukuna making eye contact with Lana, mouthing Theodore? as Lana shakes her head dimissively at him. You give Sukuna a smile, which he actually returns, before you focus back on Teddy. 

“I have a gift for you.” Teddy states. 

“For me? On your birthday?” you ask. 

“I didn’t buy it so it doesn’t actually count.” he responds. 

“Sound logic, my friend. What is it?” you ask. 

“You have to close your eyes and put your hands out.” 

You look up at Eren, giving him a disbelieving look, as he gestures for you to follow. You close your eyes and cup your hands out to the two of them, as you hear Eren laugh. 

“Okay. You can open them now.” Teddy states. 

You open your eyes to find a pink ribbon in your hand, specifically the one that Teddy just snagged from Lana’s hair, as you hear Sukuna and Eren laugh. You smile hard, twisting it in your hands. 

“Thank you, Teddy. That’s very kind of you.” you respond, giving him a smile. 

He returns the favor, his cheeks bright pink, as he runs up behind Sukuna’s legs and burrows his face into the fabric of his pants. You and Eren stand back up, as Eren leans into your space and whispers. 

“He still has a crush on you.” Eren states. 

“He’s a baby, Eren.” 

“You’re so rude. Babies aren’t capable of love?” 

“Well, you’re standing right here so that’s obviously not true.” you deadpan. 

“Haha. Now give it.” Eren states, holding his hand out to you. 

“Give you what?” 

“The ribbon, dingus.” Eren responds. 

“Actually, Eren. He gave it to me. Maybe if you were cuter, he’d give it to you.” 

“Okay, Megamind. Don’t get a big head now. I was just going to put it on for you.” Eren responds. 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah, oh.” 

You place the little pink ribbon in Eren’s hands, as he gestures for you to turn around. He’s quick to secure the ribbon into the little ponytail in your hair, giving your head a little pat when he’s finished. 

“So cute.” Eren says, sarcastically. 

“Shut up. I’m adorable.” you respond. 

Eren smiles. 

“Yes, you are.” he responds, zero hint of sarcasm in his voice. 

Sukuna gives Eren a nod, as the two of them switch spots, and he takes your side. You get to take Sukuna in full this time, at the little smile wrinkles near his eyes and the salty, beach smell that seems to emanate off of him. 

“Y/N L/N. Are you finally gracing us with your presence?” Sukuna asks. 

“Father Sukuna. I think I am.” you respond, placing your hands on your hips. 

Sukuna smiles, reaching forward to mess with your hair. 

“You and I are going to talk after breakfast. And that’s only because Lana will burn our house down if I leave her alone to it.” Sukuna states. 

“Deal.” you respond, smiling at him. 

--

You and Sukuna settle down onto the little patio, the waves of the ocean crashing against the sand in front of you. He sets the little plates in front of the two of you, giving you a smile, as you both lean back in your chairs. 

“Pumpkin pie?” you ask. 

“You want some?” Sukuna asks. 

“Sure.” 

And then Sukuna lifts the plate and immediately smashes the pie into your face. It’s cold and squishy, as you quickly smear it out of your eyes just to glare at him. 

“Eren! Bring Y/N a towel. And another slice of pie.” Sukuna states. 

Eren sticks his head out of the screen door, widened eyes at the state of you. 

“What happened?” Eren asks. 

“She fell into the pie. She’s always been such a clutz.” Sukuna states. 

“Into the pie? On the plate?” Eren asks. 

“Yes.” Sukuna responds. 

Eren gives the two of you a weird look, as he shuffles back into the house and returns with a towel. You wipe all of the filling off of your face before hitting Sukuna straight in the face with the towel and crossing your arms. 

“Is it asshole day, Sukuna?” 

“That’s rich coming from you. I’m the asshole?” Sukuna asks. 

“You just smashed a pie into my face.” 

“And you didn’t return my calls for two years.” Sukuna responds, glaring. 

You sigh, leaning back in the chair, as you look at him. 

“Make no mistake, Y/N. I’m not Eren and I’m not Mikasa. I’m not going to beat around the bush just for you.” Sukuna states. 

“Thanks, Sukuna. I can always count on you to support me.” you deadpan. 

Sukuna stops in his tracks, before swallowing hard. 

“Lana told me to be nice to you.” he states. 

“You don’t have to be. Whatever it is you’re feeling…I’m sure that I deserve it.” you respond. 

“Contrary to your belief, I don’t actually enjoy being rude. I actually hate it. But…there are things you have to know. You’re really fucking stupid sometimes, Y/N.” 

You roll your eyes. 

“You’re a changed man, Sukuna.” 

Sukuna shifts in his seat, as you quickly bite your words. 

“I wasn’t being sarcastic. You really do seem different. Better.” you murmur. 

Sukuna smiles. 

“I am. Different. Better.” 

You lean forward, placing a hand on his forearm. 

“You’re a fucking dad, Sukuna.” 

“I know. Who would have thought?” he asks. 

“Me. I always knew you’d be great at this type of thing.” 

“Yeah right.” Sukuna responds, sarcastically. 

“No, really. You…you have that ability. The type that really good parents have. You always know what to give people, what they need to hear. You know that people don’t give things to me straight, so you always do it for them. And you’re the only person on my side - the only person who says that and means it.” you respond. 

Sukuna leans forward on his elbow. 

“I could have done better by you. I know that.” 

“Sukuna-” 

“The awards show. I could have stopped you. I…I figured that Historia and Jean were riling you up. That you were already far past a point of reason and I just…” 

“I would have cussed you out if you tried to go against me in that moment, Sukuna. Kicked you out of my house.” 

“I thought that much but…but still. I could have made you listen.” Sukuna responds. 

“Don’t get me wrong. I find lots of value in your words. But really, I wouldn’t have listened. And…and you were still there in the way that I needed you. Don’t think that I’ve forgotten that the person who dragged me out of that dressing room that night was you.” you murmur. 

Sukuna sighs. 

“I fucking hate you for not talking to me, Y/N. I get not talking to anyone from Attack on Titan. To Levi, Hange, whatever. But I was never apart of that. I was your friend, Y/N. I was always on your side.” 

“I’m sorry.” you respond. 

“You don’t think I would have fought for your albums back with you? That I wouldn’t have wrung Eren’s neck out if he asked me to? That I wouldn’t have crawled into your shitty house and stayed there with you if you needed me to?” 

You swallow hard. 

“It’s embarrassing to be around people when I know I’m doing something wrong. But it’s infinitely more embarrassing when that person is you, Sukuna.” you respond. 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” 

“I mean…you’re one of the best people I know. You’re always saying what’s on your mind, you’re exactly what I want to be. Honest. Earnest. A good friend. I know I can be shitty. It’s just really hard for me to do it in front of you.” you respond. 

“You think too much of me.” Sukuna states. 

“You think too little of yourself.” you respond. 

“Don’t quote my girl back to me, L/N.” Sukuna sneers, lightly shoving you. 

You smile. 

“Your girl, eh?” your respond, smirking at him as you watch a pink flush crawl up his neck. 

“Do you think you’re funny? We have a kid together.” Sukuna responds. 

“You have a crush on Lana.” you respond. 

“Okay?” 

“That’s so cute, Sukuna.” you respond, exaggerating each syllable as he rolls his eyes at you. 

You lean forward and wrap your arms around him, hugging him as hard as you can as you feel the tears collect in your eyes. Sukuna pulls back the second he feels you sniffling, his eyes pinched in annoyance. 

“Why are you crying?” 

“I’m so happy for you, Sukuna.” you whisper. 

Sukuna deflates, pinching his lips shut. 

“You could have told me too, Sukuna. About all of it, everything that happened. When-when you were a kid. I would have listened to you. And I would never tell.” you whisper. 

“I almost did tell you. That night that we were in my trailer. When Historia released Lacy.” 

You gesture for him to continue. 

“I told you that…that hundreds, thousands of people loved me and I didn’t even know who I was looking at in the mirror. It was more humiliating for me than that. I looked in the mirror and didn’t know who I was, how I let that happen to me-” 

You feel the tears immediately burn in your eyes. 

“-but it bothered me even more. Because I look just like Yuuji, Y/N. Yuuji means the fucking world to me, just like you do. Like Lana does. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for him. And…and at that point I realized. That I didn’t even hold myself to that standard. That I didn’t see that happening to myself and think that I deserved better.” Sukuna states. 

“Sukuna. You deserve so much better. So much better.” you whisper. 

“I know that now. And I have it too, Y/N.” 

You and Sukuna turn your heads to look at Lana and Teddy through the window, the two of them showing Eren something in a book. The two of you smile at each other. 

“Luckily for me, Lana showed up right when I needed her. I can’t believe that I’ve been walking around her for years, on red carpets and at awards shows. She was right under my nose this entire time and I had no idea.”  

“There’s this legend. An invisible string of fate. That the person that you’re destined to be with, the two of you have a little string tied around your pinkies the second you’re born. And no matter how far you go, you’ll still have a pull on each other. End up together.” you respond. 

“Yeah?” 

“I’m pretty sure the two of you have been making steps towards each other the entire time, Sukuna.” you respond. 

He smiles in response. 

“Me too.” Sukuna responds. 

You wipe the wetness from your cheek, as you lean back in the chair. 

“Okay, Sukuna. Give it to me straight.” 

“Give what? A slap?” Sukuna asks. 

“No. I know you. You’ve probably got a lot to say to me. So…just come right out and say it. I can take it.” 

Sukuna smiles, almost too sinisterly. 

“You sure?” 

“Yes.” 

“Positive? You can’t fight me on any of it.”

“Fine. Just tell me.” 

He takes a deep breath before talking, the tone in his voice so matter-of-fact that it catches you off guard. 

“You have no right to give Mikasa shit for picking another maid of honor. Even if Amy’s a bitch to you. Quit playing the victim with her on that one, becuase first and foremost, you will lose. And second of all, she’s getting married. You’re the one who needs to bite the bullet and make sure that she has a good day.” 

“Wait-” you start. 

“Why aren’t you writing any music anymore? Why are you accrediting all of your success to Danny and Sareen when you’re the one who wrote those songs?” 

“I’m not-” 

“Aren’t you though? And when are you going to stop punishing Eren for something that you did to him first.” 

“Sukuna.” 

“What are you mad at him for? That he didn’t tell you what he was going through? Isn’t that what you did to him first? Because yeah, you’d call him before all your shows and pretend like things were fine. And then Eren had to find out from a fucking interview that those two dickwads were starving you. That they were controlling you like you were one of their assets.”  

You sigh. 

“I’m not playing the victim with Mikasa.” 

“Aren’t you though? Because if it were me, if I had not talked to my best friend in two years despite the fact that she reached out multiple times, I’d think that I was in the wrong.” 

“I was struggling.” 

“And you don’t think she wasn’t? Did you know that she almost broke up with Jean in the years that you were gone?” 

You pale. 

“What?” 

“Did you ask her? Did you ask her how she was when you came back?” 

You swallow hard. 

“You don’t think that she needed you for that? For something as big as almost losing Jean when he’s always been by her side. You don’t think that she needed you for even small things even beyond that? Someone to talk to. Someone to support her?” 

“Are her and Jean okay?” 

“Yes. Eren was there. But Eren can’t exactly replace what you are for Mikasa. And god knows he has the emotional capabilities of a fucking teaspoon.” 

It seems that every time you’re at the depths of your regret, of your guilt, you find that there is always a way to sink down further. 

“Quiet now, aren’t you? Fight me about the music.” he states. 

“No.” 

“Because I’m right?” he asks. 

“So what if you are? I just don’t want to write anything anymore. It’s not that serious.” 

Sukuna leans forward, inches between your faces. 

“It’s not that serious, for any normal person. But it is that serious for you. Because you love to write music, Y/N. You scribble lyrics onto your scripts when you’re supposed to be reading them. You hum songs when you’re basically doing anything. And you’re not doing it now, because you’re still in that godforsaken hole you sank yourself into in your house.” 

“So what if I am, Sukuna? What if I am? Don’t you get that I’m fucking scared of this type of thing? That it is isn’t easy? I lost Eren. And then I lost my music. All of my friends. You don’t think that type of thing was fucking hard for me?” you respond, warm tears spilling out of your eyes. 

Sukuna leans forward, wrapping his arms around you and squeezing hard. 

“You were never one to back down from a fight. What kind of hold do you think those two idiots have over you at this point? Need I remind you, that they’re only famous, that they only have a claim to their names, because of you. Did you lose Eren? No. Because he’s literally peering through the fucking window right now because you’re crying. Did you lose your music? No, because he fought so hard to somehow get it back for you. And you didn’t lose your friends. We’re right in front of you.” 

You pull back, glaring at him. Because as annoying as he is, he always did point out the truth. You give Eren a smile through the window, gesturing to him that it’s okay, as he gives you a disbelieving look and walks away. 

“I’m mad at Eren for what he said to me.” you respond. 

“That’s valid. But have you ever considered that he might have been mad at you for what you said to him too? Or even worse, that you could have really hurt him?” 

“What did I say to him? Because he-” 

“You didn’t pick him.” 

“But, Sukuna. I had to do that. Sareen and Danny-” 

“So you get it. You get that what you did was because you had to. So why don’t you understand that what Eren said to you was because it was what he had to say too?” 

You sigh. 

“Don’t be a hypocrite, Y/N. You know I don’t say any of this to hurt you.  But you’re not twenty-one anymore. And neither is Eren. It’s time for you to face this head on. Both of you.” he states, the tone in voice so caring that it makes you falter. 

You sigh. 

“Did you know that Eren was struggling that bad?” 

“No. And I gave him tons of shit at the time for it. You’re not the only one with regrets.” he states. 

--

After a fresh shower, you pad back into the main room to find Eren in the kitchen, while Sukuna, Lana, and Teddy cuddle in the crouch. Eren gestures for you to join him at your side, as he pushes a little cutting board and the food towards your side. 

“Are you trusting me to cut the vegetables? Are you finally viewing me as your equal, Eren Jaeger?” you ask, feigning shock. 

“It’s a safety knife. That’s what Teddy uses when Lana teaches him how to cook.” Eren responds, smirking at you. 

You elbow him, accompanied with nice string of insults as you stand at Eren’s side. You look to the picture at the your side, of Sukuna, Lana, and Teddy dressed up nice in a little courthouse. 

“Hey. What’s this?” 

“Lana and Sukuna are married.” Eren states. 

“Excuse me. You said they were dating.” you state. 

“We said dating in the documentary, because they were dating at the time. But at their one year anniversary, they did a small little court wedding. The three of them got takeout sushi and came home like right after.” Eren states. 

You walk over to the picture, inspecting it in full this time. At Lana’s white slip dress, at their matching rings, and the little bouquet in Teddy’s hands. The three of them are smiling so brightly, Lana and Sukuna leaning their temples together, with their eyes closed and bright smiles. 

“Eren.” 

“Hm?”

“How did that happen?” you ask, gesutring over to the three of them. 

Eren sets his knife down, lookng over at the picture as he places his hands on his hips. You can already tell from his stance that whatever he’s about to say is going to be bitingly sassy. 

“Okay. When two people love each other, they get in a be-” 

“Shut up, idiot. I mean, Lana and Sukuna.” 

Eren shoves you in the side, as the two of you avert your eyes to the three of them on the couch. 

“After that night, when I had said everything to you, I had immediately called Levi and Hange. Lana and I had been debating calling them and asking for help the second I ended up in the hospital, but that night was kind of the final straw for me.” Eren states. 

“Your injury should have been your final straw, Eren.” you respond, pinching your eyes at him. 

“At that point, I was ready to drag Scott Clarkson into the ground. From my standpoint, I didn’t really have anything to lose from suing them. And Connie and Lana, it didn’t take them much convincing to follow. But Levi basically wanted to stack all of our cards in our favor, that if we were going to say something, anyone else who has something to say would get to take that chance too.” Eren adds. 

“That’s where he came in.” you state, to which Eren gives you an affirmative nod. 

“Sukuna had told us almost everything about what happened to him, except for…you know.” 

The sexual assault. 

“Yeah.” 

“Lana was the first person that he told. And I don’t know what she told him, since that’s not something I understand having experienced but she obviously does, but…they both just kind of came to us one day. Told us that they wanted to own it.” Eren adds. 

“So, they just got close? From all that? Not that it’s not a thing that connects him, but he…he’s always so reserved.” you ask. 

“I think he just naturally gravitated towards her, that’s all. I think they have these deep, all encompassing emotions that they don’t share with other people. The feel things deeply, love really hard. It was just like an underlying thing…that they knew they would get along in that way. Like you and me.” 

“Like you and me?” 

“Y’know. We were close right off the bat. No awkward stage, no holding things back from each other. Well, in the beginning at least.” Eren states. 

You hum in response. 

“Sukuna met Teddy pretty early on. When Lana and Sukuna started dating, they were serious straight off the bat. He kind of just…fit in perfectly with them. Nothing really changed. Teddy just kind of called him dad in passing one day. No one really said much about it, but I did find Sukuna crying later.” 

You frown, clutching your hands on your chest. 

“I’m really happy for them, Eren. There’s no one who deserves it more than them.” 

You feel a brush past your shoulder to find Sukuna and Lana at your sides, the two of them tip toeing into the fridge and pulling a little box out. Eren hands you a little box of candles, as you pull out five little green ones. 

The four of you huddle over the cake, perfectly placing them and lighting them, as you walk over to where Teddy’s still sitting, fully engrossed into the screen. Sukuna turns to the three of you, quietly counting down, before you all burst out singing and Teddy turns around excitedly. 

You watch as Sukuna smashes a decent amount of frosting onto Teddy’s cheeks after he blows out the candles, as Lana quickly snaps a picture of the two of them with the cake. 

“Is that your thing now, Sukuna? You just smash dessert into people’s faces?” you ask. 

“Well, you deserved it. And I’ve been doing this since my first birthday with him.” Sukuna states. 

“Don’t tell me you smashed food in a grown woman’s face?” Lana asks, deadpanning. 

“It was pie. That hardly counts as food. And again, need I repeat, that she deserved it.” 

Lana comes over, securing her hands around your shoulders, as she presses a kiss to your cheek. 

“You’re rude. Our princess does no wrong.” she states, gesturing for Eren to join him at her side. 

Eren follows suit, gesturing for Lana to get in the picture, as he points the little camera at them, and you peer over his shoulder at the viewfinder. 

“Teddy. What did you wish for?” Eren asks. 

“Don’t say! Your wish won’t come true.” Lana whines. 

“Y/N!” Teddy states, giving you a bright smile. 

Sukuna laughs, reaching for his sides to tickle at him. 

“Sorry buddy. You already snoozed and lost on that one.” Sukuna responds. 

The three of them shuffle to the counter as Sukuna starts cutting the cake into little slices and placing them on the plates. After a decent amount of dessert and sweet pictures, Eren shuffles away with Teddy to set him to bed, as you shuffle into your own room and muse over what you’re going to say to Eren later. 

--

Eren makes his way down the following morning, to find the three of them mulling around in the kitchen. He makes it a point to shove Lana and smack Sukuna, before pressing a kiss on top of Teddy’s head and taking the seat next to them. 

“You’re not going on your walk?” Eren asks, looking up at Sukuna. 

“Someone already claimed the beach.” 

“Huh?” 

Sukuna points behind him, as Eren looks out the window to find you sitting there in the sand, on a little blanket. Your back is facing towards him, your hair slightly swaying in the light breeze of the beach outside. 

“What’s she doing?” Eren asks. 

“She wants to talk to you, Eren.” Lana states. 

Eren pales. 

“Out there?” Eren asks. 

The two of them nod as Eren feels knots twisting in his stomach, that whatever semblance of relationship that the two of you were building back together was going to come crashing down in a second. That the harsh, cruel justice that he was owed was finally going to be served to him. 

“Fuck. Okay. Do I look fine?” Eren asks, turning to the two of them. 

Sukuna and Teddy squint their eyes in confusion, as Lana gives him a big thumbs up and all but pushes him onto the patio. He turns around and gives her a pointed glare, which she only returns with a smile as he starts trudging towards you, feet digging into the sand. 

You notice Eren before he can creep up behind you, as you give him a smile and gesture for him to take the spot next to you. It’s decently overcast, a slight chill in the air as you pull your hoodie around you and watch the waves crash ahead. 

“Hey.” Eren says. 

Eren takes the spot at your side, hiking his knees to his chest, as your elbows brush against each other in the cold. 

“Wanna go skinny dipping?” you ask. 

“I beg your pardon?” Eren resopnds, eyes nearly bulging out of his head.  

You can barely contain your laughter, as Eren quickly catches on. His cheeks are positively pink as he starts grumbling under his breath about how mean you are and you choke out an apology. The two of you sit there in silence as the water pulls close to the shore, just to quickly retreat back into the big mass of water. 

You bite the bullet this time.

“The song that you wrote that day. The one that you sang to me on the beach.” you say. 

“Yeah?” Eren asks, almost too attentive as he hangs at the ends of your words. 

“That’s my first question. What did it mean?” you ask. 

Eren looks back out at the waves. 

“I thought that what we had ran it’s course when I wrote it. It was a few days before you got there. And by that point, I was already so down in it that all I was left with was the feeling of being grateful. That I did get to experience that love, with you, at some point. And you know. You’re the moon. I’m the ocean. It was a nice solace to think our love would last forever that way..” Eren responds. 

You nod in response. 

“That night. When- when you tried to kiss me. I told you I couldn’t because you were still with Hyla. Why didn’t you tell me then and there that you had broken up?” you ask. 

“I could have. But I wanted to know if you wanted me still, with such extreme urgency, that-that I kind of forgot that I was technically dating her in the first place. I said it before, but I never really considered that real, Y/N. She didn’t even warrant a mention in my mind. Or ever mean anything to me.” Eren responds. 

“Okay.” 

Eren pauses. You suppose your response was barely convincing and that he can most definitely tell. 

“I’m only telling you this part because Sukuna is going to tell you anyway and he’s been holding it over my head for weeks.” Eren states. 

“What?” 

“It’s embarrassing. Just- pretend like it’s nothing when Sukuna says it to you.” 

“Okay?” 

“The yacht. When-when Hyla kissed me.” 

“Oh. Vomitgate.” you respond, smiling at him. 

“Don’t call it that!” he whines. 

You laugh as you gesture for him to continue, his cheeks lightly dusted pink. 

“Hyla likes to wear a lot of lipgloss. And she..she always wears this red one. That smells like cherries.” he states. 

“Okay?”  

“I didn’t know that it tasted like cherries too. And when she kissed me, I-I could taste it.” Eren mumbles. 

“Congratulations? I’m glad it tasted good while you were kissing her.” 

“No! No, Y/N. You don’t get it. You….you taste like cherries when I kissed you. Or when you used to.” 

“Huh?” 

“The slushies. Your lips always tasted like cherries. So when she kissed me, I-I immediately thought of you. And…and then I realized it was her.” 

“And then you…projectile vomited?” you finish. 

“Okay, you promised you wouldn’t make fun.” 

You smile. Primarily because he’s so embarrassed that it’s cute. And that in the most evil way, the thought of him being so disgusted by kissing someone that isn’t you that it makes him vomit makes your heart warm in a special way. 

“I said no such thing, Eren.” 

The two of you sit there in silence for some time, as you muse over his words. The air only seems to get colder as time goes on, the clouds swirling in the sky above the two of you. 

“The things that you said to me, Eren. I-I know they weren’t true. But I want to know how you came up with them. Because I understand that it was something you had to say. But they just fell out of your mouth so easily. That you only wanted me for that and nothing more and-” 

“In no way were those words easy for me to say. Don’t even say that.” Eren states, the urgency in his tone so adamant that it makes you sweat. 

“How did you come up with it? Because it must have been in the back of your mind if-” 

“Y/N. I come from literally the shittiest, meanest place that you can imagine. I’ve told you before. The things that Zeke had said to me.” Eren states. 

“And?” 

Eren stops. His voice is softer this time, almost laced with a pinch of hurt. 

“When life gets harder, I have to get harder to match. If you show up and I can’t have you, the thought of it fills me with so much anger, so much hurt that it all comes out. On you. And that doesn’t make anything I said okay, but you being there. Having you so close to me and having to send you away. It had to be something cruel. You wouldn’t have gone otherwise.” 

“Well-” 

“Don’t even say that to me. Because I know for a fact that if I had told you any of this then, you would never leave. You wouldn’t listen to me because you’d want to stay with me.” 

“Is there something wrong with that? With me wanting to be there for you?” 

“Of course, not. It’s just that you being there with me required you to be there. With those shitty people. And if it comes to you or me, I’d pick you. Even if I had to do something shitty to make sure that you were far away.” 

You’re immediately reminded of the conversation that you had with Eren. Or more acutely, the fight that the two of you had. Of what Eren had said to you. 

But I couldn’t have you there. Because if it came down to it, when I had to pick between covering someone else or taking care of you, I’d pick you.

You swallow the lump in your throat. Of the implication that if Eren was faced with the choice - of you and Teddy or you and Connie - that he would pick you. 

Even if it was the wrong choice to make. 

“And Armin?” you ask. 

“That’s the thing about you two. You both came in so hot. I was expecting after the interview that the two of you were going to cuss me out, leave without even saying anything. But your instinct - both of yours - was to immediately believe it wasn’t true. Bittersweet, because you knew me well enough to know I’d never really say that but also shitty becuase then I had to bite back to make sure you left.” Eren states. 

You lift the little cover at your side and slide the little box into Eren’s hands. You see his eyes go wide immediately, as you hand him a polaroid camera, the exact specific brand that Erwin had gifted Armin all of those years ago. 

“I can make my amends with it. Even if it hurt my feelings. And hopefully that helps you make amends with Armin.” you state. 

“Where the fuck did you find this? I’ve been looking for this for a better part of the past year.” he states. 

“I found it this morning. And…I’ve eavedropped on one of your fights with Armin.” you state. 

“Nosy.” 

“Okay, I’ll just go return it.” you state. 

“No!” Eren states, quickly clutching his arms around the box as you laugh. 

Eren sighs. 

“Thank you. You don’t know what this means to me.” Eren responds. 

“I think I have an idea.” you respond. 

Eren smiles, albeit halfheartedly, as he looks down at the box. 

“My turn. Unless you had more?” he murmurs. 

“No. Go ahead.” 

“The awards show. What do you think about it now?” Eren asks. 

You sigh. 

“What you were saying, it seems much more obvious now. That it was Historia and Jean there. That they were riling me up. Historia, she was already mad at you for what I said, for going against what we had as kids, and for Jean. It was personal. He basically felt like you had betrayed him and told me that. I suppose now that if Mikasa was there, she wouldn’t have let me go as far as I did.” you respond. 

“Mikasa wanted to come. Danny and Sareen didn’t let her. They knew for a fact she wouldn’t let you. She’d want to be there for you in the way you needed. Probably put my face on a dart board and talk shit about me.” Eren muses. 

“I would have preferred that over what I really did. But I remember that now. Danny and Sareen said that her hysterics weren’t conducive to the situation. And granted, Mikasa’s never short of being dramatic but…always calm when you need her. I can’t believe I forgot about that in the moment. And Sukuna, he never gave his opinion. He just told me to make my own decisions and that he would support me, which makes more sense in hindsight too.” you respond. 

Eren nods in response, content with your answer. 

“Why did you cry when I was singing the grudge?” you ask. 

“Why did you cry when you were singing the grudge?” Eren asks. 

“The fight we had. You told me beforehand that..that I didn’t have any faith in you like you did in me. It was the first time that it might have crossed my mind. That you didn’t mean anything that you said and…and then I was singing a song about how I’d never forgive you. And you were crying during it. It pretty much sold me on the fact that I was right.” you respond. 

Eren nods. 

“For me, it was the fact that you were playing the piano. On your own. I was waiting for years to see you do it on your own, to take that step and be confident in your own abilities. You’ve always been great and all I wanted to do in that moment was to stand there. Tell you I told you so. And I couldn’t.” 

“What did you mean? When you said I didn’t have faith in you?” you murmur. 

“I was just really upset in that moment, Y/N. I didn’t-” 

“I want to know.”

Eren sighs. 

“You thought right. I was upset that you believed it so blindly. That you believed an edited interview of me. And what I had said that night, which you had every right to believe. I was just-” 

“It’s okay.” 

“I wasn’t mad at you. And I’m still not. I regretted it after I said it.” 

“Okay. I appreciate the grace you give me, Eren.” 

“Nothing you haven’t given me first.” Eren responds. 

You both avert your eyes from one another. 

Anything else?” Eren asks. 

“I guess not. Is there something you want to tell me?” you state. 

“I want to know what you were doing in the years that I wasn’t with you.” 

“In the house?” 

“No. No, when you were with Danny and Sareen. After-after we said fishbowl on the rooftop.” Eren states. 

You sigh. 

“I feel fucking stupid about it all in hindsight.” you respond, warm tears filling your eyes.

Eren’s quick to notice, like he always is, as he pulls you closer to him and you lean your head against his shoulder. 

“Hey. You’re okay, just take a breath-” Eren whispers. 

“I did three albums with world tours back to back. Movies in the hiatuses.” you state. 

“And?” Eren murmurs. 

“And I didn’t take a break once. I-I only realized when I locked myself in that godforsaken house how much time I had lost. How much of it I swam through when I came back and Falco was basically grown. I left him when he was barely a teenager and then he was just…this whole person. Comforting me when that’s always been my job. That Jean and Mikasa had moved so far in their relationship that they were actually going to get married. That we all fucking grew up.” you respond. 

You wipe your nose. 

“I realized really quickly that I wasn’t making money off of the Lucky One. I had spent that entire first year, not even thinking about you or anything else, because I was just fighting desperately behind the sidelines to get them back.” you state. 

Eren snorts. 

“I think when you stopped fighting is when I started. We had won the lawsuit at that point and I-I was told to negotiate for whatever I wanted.” Eren responds. 

“How did you know?” 

“Danny and Sareen. At the awards show, they had made it a point to me. That it was always their goal. I had been inquiring about it ever since then and…the second you released the Lucky One and disappeared I knew they were going to do something. I tried to negotiate the entire album back, money and all, but all I could get you was the rights. And I’ve talked to Niccolo about it. You can re-record them or-or we can do something else but-” 

“Thank you.” you state. 

You look back at the ocean. You don’t say something for sometime, which fills Eren’s stomach with an overwhelming amount of discomfort as he rests his head against his knees. But you can’t even stomach it. How you’re supposed to thank Eren for what he did. For what he’s always done. 

For how consistent he’s always been. When it comes to you. 

“What are you thinking?” he asks. 

You look over at him, or more precisely, at the little tattoo on his bicep as you open up his arms and rest your fingers against it. He mimics your motions, smiling at the little inked skin. 

“I was half convinced you were going to get it removed.” Eren states. 

“I almost did.” you respond. 

He laughs. 

“I always thought it was stupid. That you wanted to be the ocean when I thought you were the moon. You know, like a light shining on a dark night? That’s always what I thought you were for me.” you state. 

“It feels like there’s more to that statement.” Eren responds. 

“Can you see the moon right now?” you ask. 

Eren looks up at the overcast sky, the clouds dense above. 

“No.” 

“But you can see the ocean. All the time, whenever you want. The waves pull back, but they always return.” you state. 

Eren looks up at you, in confusion. 

“I don’t follow.” 

“I’m saying you picked right. I am the moon. Fickle. Unreliable. I disappear at the first sign of a storm. But the ocean…” 

You look over at your right, to the waves crashing. 

“It’s one of the only things in nature that keeps its promise. Keeps crashing back on the shore, against the pull.” 

Eren’s eyes falter. 

“You had every right to do what you did.” Eren responds. 

“I know that. But it was always you and me. From the start. I was the one who lost sight of that when I let you go.” you state. 

Eren swallows hard. 

“Why did you do that?” he asks, his voice in the smallest whisper. 

The fact that he even asks shatters something in you, into tiny little pieces. That you had sown so much doubt into him. 

“I…I had so much faith in us. What we had…it came to us so easily. Snuck on me so quickly that I took it for granted. I figured that if I had to let you go for sometime, you’d come right back to me. The same way that we were before.” 

“You were nineteen.” Eren states. 

“I was stupid. Because that’s not how you saw it.” 

“No. No, it-” 

“Don’t lie. You thought I left you.” 

“It’s water under the bridge.” Eren responds. 

You sigh. 

“Eren. Eren, if you felt that way, why didn’t you say that? I- I fucking adored you. I would have pulled back and said no the second that you had asked me not to. Surely you must have known that I would move any mountain for you?” you ask. 

Eren looks at you, the look in his eyes faltering as you realize. 

“Eren. Did you know that I would do anything for you? Did you know that I loved you as much as you loved me?” you ask. 

“I did.” Eren responds, the lightest hint of disbelief in your voice. 

You pull him closer, cupping his face in your hands. 

“Eren. You were my person. I loved you so, so much and you didn’t even know?” you ask, warm tears filling your eyes. 

“It wasn’t anything about you. It was me. It’s my fault that I didn’t think that.” Eren whispers. 

“Don’t. Don’t fucking say that, Eren.” you respond, pulling away from him as the hot, embarrassing tears pour down your eyes. 

At the fact that Eren’s so willing to forgive. So quick to look past the fact that you took the love that he had given you for granted. That you hadn’t appreciated it, and him, half as much as you should have and now it was never going to be the same. That he was so insecure in himself, that he couldn’t accept the love that you had given him. And that you didn’t even notice. 

Eren sits quietly at your side, making no move to comfort you this time. All you can see are his green eyes, looking directly into yours, almost like he’s waiting. Mulling over the exact words that he has to say to you. And the fact that he’s sitting there trying to comfort you, when he should be cursing your name, makes it ten times worse. 

“Y/N.” he murmurs. 

“No.” 

“Y/N.” he repeats, softer this time. 

You shake your head as he scoots closer to you, cupping your cheeks in his hands as he gives you a smile. He wipes away your constant stream of tears with his thumbs, as his face washes over in the softest, most comforting look. 

“You know that stupid, cheesy as fuck saying? That you can’t give love to someone else if you don’t have it for yourself?” 

“Eren.” 

“It’s not a bad thing to give yourself kindness. To give nineteen year old you grace the same way I give twenty-one year old me grace.” he whispers. 

“I was old enough to know better.” 

“And so was I. But your life isn’t meant to be a punishment. Neither is mine. We’re not supposed to sit here and never forgive ourselves over something what’s already happened.” he whispers. 

“I picked wrong. You- I let you leave, Eren.” you cry. 

Eren smiles. 

“Am I gone?” Eren asks. 

You sigh. 

That’s not the way you meant it. 

Eren smiles, tilting your face up in his clutches as he gives your cheek a little squish. 

“Answer my question, Margaret.” 

“Why do you call me Margaret?” 

“You first. Am I gone?”

“Yes.” you deadpan.

Eren leans closer to you, noses almost touching, as he whispers. 

“I’m right here. I’ve spent far too much time without you. Don’t tell anyone but…you’re kind of my favorite person, ever. You’re always going to be my best friend. And as long as you don’t send me away again, I’ll always be right here.” 

You sniffle. 

“I won’t tell anyone. There’s no one else to tell.” 

Eren smiles so wide, so bright at you repeating the same words you had used all those years ago to him, as he pulls you straight into a hug. You deflate straight into his arms, wrapping them around his torso as you inhale his biting, minty smell once more. 

“Wanna know why I call you Margaret?” he asks. 

“Please. I know for a fact that it’s not just some random name you picked.” 

Eren pulls back, a devious grin on his face. 

“Margaret is the name of the moon.” 

Of course. 

“...of Uranus.” he finishes. 

“Huh?” 

“Uranus. It’s the name of one of the moons of Uranus.” Eren repeats, emphasizing every last syllable. 

You can tell from the way he’s smiling that he’s incredibly pleased with himself. And it makes uou break out into a teary laugh. 

“You’re fucking with me.” 

“No, I’m not. All of Uranus’s moons are named after Shakespeare characters. And the first one that came to mind when we were having that talk out of all of them was Margaret.” 

“So you intentionally gave me a name based off of an anus?” 

“Not just any anus, Y/N. Ur-anus. It’s very significant to our relationship.” 

“Ew, Eren. Oh my god.” you respond, the two of you laughing as you look at him with disgust. 

“What?” 

“I can’t tell what’s worse. This or Hobo Eren.” 

“Hey.” 

“Nevermind. It’s definitely Hobo Eren. That’s an atrocity to humanity, Eren.” 

“Okay, okay. I get it. I’m horrendous” he responds, slightly shoving you in the side as you return the favor. 

“I’m so glad we’re on the same page. It’s been putting a real damper on our relationship.” you respond. 

Eren looks over at you and smiles. 

“Are there any dampers on our relationship now? For real?” Eren asks. 

You shake your head.

“No. But…you and me on the same side now. Always. You can’t keep secrets from me and-” 

“I won’t.” he responds, definitively. 

“Then no. No dampers. You and me till the end.” you respond. 

Eren smiles as you look back at the waves crashing and  you lean your head against his shoulder again. He softly murmurs into your hair. 

“Why do you call me Bruce? Yours had to be just as deliberate as mine.” he asks. 

“You don’t need to know. It’s not half as cute as yours.” you respond. 

“Well, nothing is as cute as Uranus unfortunatley.” 

“Naturally. I…um. You…you know that shark from Finding Nemo? That…that pretends to be friends with the fish and then tries to eat them?” you state, giving him a peachy smile. 

“No fucking way.” 

“I’m sorry!” you whine. 

“You’re so rude, Y/N L/N. I gave you a sweet, sentimental nickname and that’s how you repay me.” 

“You gave me Uranus, Eren.” 

“There is nothing more scared than my anus, Y/N. You know that.” 

“You’re so immature. You have the humor of a twelve year old.” you respond. 

“And you love it. One would argue that…that you enable this behavior from me. I’d never make these jokes if you didn’t think they were funny.” 

“You tell jokes based off of me?” you ask, sarcastically. 

“Yes. I want to see you laugh. You think I’m just out here saying stuff just to say it?” 

“You’re full of shit.” 

“And you’re not even half deserving of my anus.” Eren responds. 

You and Eren bicker back and forth. And the sun rises, straight through the patches of the clouds. 

On the two of you, together again.

--

next part linked here

an: MEOW

taglist: @k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06  @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha  @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly-y-blog @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegonee @tee4str @ttokki @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanlol @mel-star636 @fvckingeetar @ttalgi @najaemism @ilovekimchi123 @youraggedybitch @xoyumiqls @leafguitar @dreamy-carat @spiidergirlsworld @luvs4kim @levin4nami @florichun @hoonmyluv

pls comment on this post or any of the chapters if you want to be added to the taglist <3