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shelbystales · 1 year ago

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Ceramic Lessons - Part Four

Cillian Murphy X Reader - Masterlist

Previous parts: 1 - 2 - 3

Summary: after much insistence from his sister, Cillian attends a ceramics class with her. To his surprise, he feels a connection to the teacher, you. Will this connection go any further or will it be smashed like a bad ceramic project?

Warning: Fluff

A/N: a small reminder that this has nothing to do with his real life.

English is my second language, so I apologize in advance for any grammar mistake

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Cillian had woken up and was finishing up Lukas' things for school while the kid was having his breakfast: eggs and toast with warm milk.

When Cillian returned to the living room, Sile was seated at the dining table next to Lukas, engaged in conversation with him. She had slept over. Lukas was laughing as he wiped his dirty hand on the white shirt of his school uniform.

"Use the napkin to clean your hands, buddy," Cillian said, placing Lukas' backpack on the table and sliding closer to him a napkin, which Lukas grabbed in a handful.

"Hey, you. Came home late last night, huh? Didn’t see you come in" Sile teased, raising an eyebrow at her brother. "I don't even need to ask if you had fun," she chuckled while Cillian smiled, slightly embarrassed.

"You had fun without me?" Lukas asked, and Cillian furrowed his brows, smiling at his son.

"Do you really think that's possible? You're my funniest buddy," he said, ruffling Lukas' hair, earning a proud smile from the young boy.

Cillian headed to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee he started to prepare earlier, with Sile following closely behind.

"Spill it," she demanded, crossing her arms.

Cillian opened the overhead cabinet and grabbed two coffee cups, one for himself and another for his nosy sister.

"He gave you a hard time yesterday?" he asked as he poured coffee into the cups.

"No, you know the kid is an angel. Took a while to fall asleep, but then I added a bit of whiskey to his tea, and it knocked him out," she joked, making Cillian squint at her as he handed her the cup. "Now tell meeee," she pleaded, tapping her foot on the ground, making him chuckle.

"You're quite annoying," he said, leaning against the kitchen counter, perfectly positioned to watch his son eating and playing with his toy dinosaur.

"And you're unbearable. Now that we've exchanged pleasantries, spill the tea," she said in a playful tone.

"It was good," he smiled, looking at her.

"Just that? Where did you take her? Did you kiss? Are you going out again? My god, can't you tell a proper gossip?" She laughed.

"I took her to a newly opened vegetarian restaurant, the one Pad said was interesting. And If he found a vegetarian restaurant interesting, I assumed it would be good," he grinned, and she nodded, agreeing with his logic. Pad is a very carnivorous guy.. "It was good, yes, we did kiss, and no, we haven't made any other plans yet. I'll text her later," he explained.

Sile had an enormous smile and a gleam in her eyes that a child would have upon receiving a pile of presents.

"Ah, that's exciting," she said, giving her brother a playful shove. "You can thank me by buying me an expensive gift for my birthday this year," she said, making him roll his eyes and leave the kitchen.

"Ready to go, champ?" Cillian said, looking at his wristwatch. "Need a ride?" he asked his sister.

"No, I'll take an Uber to work," Sile replied.

She was without a car because her husband was traveling with the vehicle, so she was managing with rideshares and Ubers.

Cillian nodded, and they all left the house together. He waited for his sister's Uber to arrive before getting into his car and driving to Lukas' school, which wasn't far from his house.

After dropping Lukas off at school, he took out his phone and sent you a message.

"Hey, I've been thinking about you.

Had a great time last night.

Maybe we can see each other again sometime this week?"

When you read his message, you smiled. Your phone was on your countertop, but you couldn't reply. You were in the middle of your first class of the day, and your hands were covered in clay.

After an hour or so, you finally replied:

“I would like that. Want to go to the beach? They look incredible this time of the year.”

Not long after, he replied:

“Sounds fun. When are you free?”

“Well, the only day I don’t have classes in the afternoon is Wednesday,” you texted back.

“Wednesday it is! Pick you up at 16:00?”

“Yep! That works.”

You noticed you were smiling as you put your phone down. You liked the idea that he didn’t ask if you wanted a ride, he just offered it as a part of the package.

The anticipation continued to fill your thoughts. You found yourself checking your phone more often than usual, eagerly awaiting his messages. You wanted to but it was hard to not anxiously think about your date with him in the next few days. You looked forward to it, loving the idea of having him again.

Each time he texted, you felt a rush of excitement, appreciating the little conversations and the effort he put into staying in touch. During the following days he texted you a few times, one time to settle the beach you were going to go, one time to ask if you ate cheese and another time to say he had thought about you after one of the members of his project wore a cow’s shirt with writing “Cows are friends, not food”.

You weren’t far behind. You made efforts to continue in touch as well, sending him pics of your ceramic projects and telling him funny moments during your classes. The lines of communication between you were becoming more fluid and comfortable.

The days leading up to your beach day felt like a countdown, each passing moment bringing you closer to another chance to spend time with him.

As you stood in front of your closet, you deliberated over what to wear. You wanted to strike the right balance between looking casual and put-together. Your choice landed on a flowy white sundress adorned with a delicate floral pattern. The lightweight fabric would keep you comfortable in the warm weather, and you complemented the look with stylish sunglasses, and an eco-friendly tote bag slung over your shoulder. Inside the tote bag, you packed a bottle of wine, sunscreen, some snacks, and a picnic blanket, fully prepared for a day at the beach.

After you got ready, you waited for him in front of your building. Happily, you didn't have to wait long, as he arrived right after. He stepped out of his car, looking effortlessly stylish in a light blue button-down shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a pair of well-fitted khaki shorts and a beautiful pair of raybans. His brown leather sandals completed the look, giving off a relaxed vibe.

As he walked to you he slid his sunglasses to rest on top of his head, revealing his gorgeous blue eyes to you.

With a friendly smile, he greeted you. "Hi, beautiful. Ready?" he asked, holding the car door open for you just like before.

You nodded, excitement and a hint of nervousness bubbling up. "Definitely," you replied, offering a smile as you kissed him on the cheek before sliding into the passenger seat.

The drive to the beach was a pleasant one. The sunroof was open, allowing the warm breeze to tousle your hair as you chatted. The coastal road stretched out ahead, offering glimpses of the sparkling ocean to your right. The view was mesmerizing with the waves crashing against the shore

During the drive, you exchanged stories about your days, and you delved into a lengthy discussion about the popular TV show "Succession," which you were currently obsessed with. You shared your thoughts on the characters, plot twists, and speculated about what might happen next in the series. The conversation just naturally flowing between you both.

As you talked and laughed together, the beach grew closer.

He parked the car, and you both got out, the sound of the waves and the smell of the ocean filling the air around you. He opened the trunk to reveal a picnic basket he had prepared away earlier.

"Oh, looks like you came prepared," you giggled, noticing the sizable basket.

He smiled back. "I guess you can say I’m trying to impress a girl, you know… She’s pretty special."

You smiled at him, your heart warming at his words. He surely did make you feel special.

He held his hand out to you, and you interwined your fingers as you walked towards the beach, scanning for a quiet spot to settle. The beach was relatively empty, which was one of the main reasons you had chosen it.

Between two gently swaying palm trees, you discovered a perfect and secluded spot away from the gaze of the beach crowd. Cillian efficiently unfurled a vibrant picnic blanket on the soft sand, placing yours on top of it for added comfort and protection from the fine grains. The two of you settled down comfortably, facing the vast expanse of the ocean that stretched out in front of you.

He smoothly retrieved a pair of small glasses from his picnic basket, holding them out to you. "Wine?" he asked, his voice carrying a touch of playful anticipation as he handed you one.

"Absolutely!" You responded with a warm smile, your fingers wrapping around the delicate glass as you accepted it from him. "I also brought a bottle," you added

"Perfect," he grinned, his fingers deftly uncorking the bottle. As he opened it, his blue shirt hugged his form, and you couldn't help but admire the way his biceps flexed against the fabric, igniting an undeniable attraction.

With the glasses now filled, he set the bottle aside and picked up his own glass. Raising it in a silent toast, he met your gaze, a glint of excitement in his eyes. You clinked your glass against his, the delicate sound resonating through the quiet beach.

He opened the picnic basket, to place the bottle back in the basket and started to reveal an array of delicious treats. There were a variety of cheeses, some type of fruits, a small container of hummus, some crackers, and some nuts. The spread looked amazing, and you couldn't help but be impressed.

“My brother gave me some suggestions to pair well with the wine,” he chuckled.

“I’m impressed, Cillian” you smiled, taking the snack you bought from your bag glad you went with sweeter choices, you took out the mini chocolate muffins and vanilla cookies.

“I think we have a proper meal, here” he smiled and you nodded

"Absolutely. Is your brother a sommelier?" you asked curiously, taking a sip from your glass as your eyes locked onto his.

He chuckled. "No, he's not. But he could be," he replied with a smile. "He actually went to culinary school. Knows a thing or two about flavors."

"That's interesting. Is he a chef then?" you inquired, your gaze fixed on him as you continued your conversation.

"No, not really. He's a lawyer," he explained, causing you to furrow your brow in surprise.

"What?" you exclaimed, feeling a bit taken aback.

"Yeah," he laughed, "he decided to switch career paths, hoping for a more secure income in the future. But he still dreams of opening a restaurant someday. But I guess you can say he’s the family chef"

"Oh, That makes sense," you nodded and let your gaze sweep over the stunning view in front of you. The beach stretched out as far as the eye could see, the golden sand meeting the sparkling blue waves under the clear sky “It’s beautiful here”.

"It sure is," he agreed, his eyes fixed on you. You felt a warmth spread through you as you met his gaze. The sunglasses shielded his eyes, but you could still sense his attention on you.

He moved on the picnic blanket, moving closer and sitting beside you. His shoulder brushed against yours as you both faced the vast expanse of the ocean. With the sun still shining brightly, you both opted for sunglasses to protect your eyes.

You leaned your head against his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around you, pulling you in close. The feeling of his warmth against your side was comforting, and you sighed contentedly. Together, you sat there, taking in the breathtaking view and enjoying the tranquility of the moment.

The sound of the waves crashing against the shore provided a soothing background melody, the salty breeze tousling your hair.

You closed your eyes for a moment, inhaling the fresh ocean air, feeling a sense of peace wash over you. Having him by your side made the experience even more special.

As you opened your eyes again, you stole a glance at him. His profile against the backdrop of the ocean was a sight to behold—strong, yet gentle. The hint of a smile played on his lips, and his relaxed posture exuded a sense of calm.

"I'm really glad we came here," you said softly, breaking the comfort silence between you.

"Me too," he replied, his gaze never leaving the horizon.

You took off your glasses and looked at him with a caring smile. "Hey, let me see your eyes," you requested, your fingers lightly tracing his cheek as you rested your arm weight on his shoulder.

"Why?" he chuckled, his curiosity piqued.

"I like the sight of them," you replied with a grin, your touch gentle against his skin.

Still smiling, he complied and removed his sunglasses. His mesmerizing blue eyes met yours, a warmth and intensity in his gaze that sent a shiver down your spine.

“There they are,” your smile widened, and you couldn't help but be captivated by his eyes. "You're very handsome, you know that?" you asked, your words filled with genuine admiration.

His cheeks tinged with a soft blush, his gaze momentarily shifting to the horizon. His reaction surprised you, revealing a shy side you hadn't seen before. It was endearing.

He moved his tongue inside his mouth, moistening his lips as he gathered his thoughts, his gaze returning to meet yours.

"Did I make you blush?" you asked, a playful smirk in your tone.

"You sure did," he admitted, his eyes holding a mixture of embarrassment and amusement.

"I thought you'd be used to compliments," you remarked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

He shrugged casually, his lips quirking into a half-smile. "Well, I’m. Sort of." he chuckled “but it feels different coming from you”

“How so?” you frowned friendly gazing him

He shrugged again, a hint of sheepishness in his expression. "I don't know, it just feels... more meaningful, I guess."

Your heart fluttered at his response, touched by the sincerity in his words. A warm smile spread across your face as you leaned in, closing the distance between you. Your lips met his in a soft, sweet kiss. Slowly tasting his lips, the wine adding a acidity to the experience. The kiss deepened naturally as you both slowly enjoyed the soft and warm feeling of each other's lips.

The connection you shared was undeniable, a blend of attraction, genuine interest, and the desire to get to know each other better making everything so exciting… You almost felt like a teenage girl.

As the kiss deepened, a spark of desire ignited between you as the passion grew, your lips moving against his with a fervor that mirrored the feelings building within you.

His hand caressed your cheek, his thumb brushing against your skin in a tender gesture. Your heart raced, the chemistry between you intensifying with each passing second.

Eventually, the need for air forced you both to pull away, your foreheads resting against each other as you caught your breath. A soft chuckle escaped his lips, and you couldn't help but smile in response.

With the passion of the kiss still lingering in the air, he left a few gentle pecks on your lips, his hands cupped your cheeks, his touch warm and reassuring, as he inched closer, his lips brushing against yours once again. After a series of sweet, lingering kisses, he finally pulled away, a soft chuckle escaping his lips. You couldn't help but smile in response, your fingers brushing against his as you shared a comfortable silence.

He shifted his attention, his fingers reaching for the small container of hummus. "Wanna try the hummus? I made it myself," he offered, a playful grin on his lips as he scooped up some hummus and placed it on a cracker for you.

"Hmm, I do!" you replied enthusiastically, glad for the change in direction. As you bit into the cracker, the creamy hummus spread across your taste buds, and you couldn't help but let out a satisfied hum. "This is delicious! Are you sure your brother is the family chef?" you praised, your eyes dancing with appreciation.

He chuckled, his gaze warm as he watched you enjoy the food. "I try my best. I’t’s actually his recipe" he replied modestly, a sense of pride evident in his expression.

“Ooh, okay. I like it” you said smiling and you both continued on talking, snacking and watching the view.

The sun finally began to set, casting a warm and vibrant display of colors across the sky. The fading light illuminated his features, making him look even more alluring. You couldn't help but notice how good he looked under the sunset light.

"Tell me about your family," he said, taking a sip from his now-refilled glass of wine.

"Sure, my parents live here in Dublin. They're still married after almost 50 years," you chuckled.

"Impressive," he nodded in agreement.

"Yeah... they're very religious. Don't believe in divorce, but they believe in therapy," you smiled, a hint of humor in your tone. "I guess that's the secret."

"It would make sense if it was," he agreed, his eyes showing a genuine interest in learning more about you.

"Yeah, I have a sister as well, but she lives in France now. She moved a few months ago to work as a clothing designer. We keep in touch often, I’m planning on visiting her soon" you continued, your expression becoming more thoughtful. "I guess you can say I'm pretty close to my parents, to my family. My mom, especially. She knows everything about my life."

“Everything?” he asked with a raised eyebrow, a hint of curiosity in his voice.

"Yeah, my mom even knows about you," you replied with a playful smile, noticing his gaze turning admiring as he looked at you. "It wasn't always like that, though," you continued, your tone growing more serious. "I was a difficult teenager, very rebellious, and often angry. We grew closer after the difficult events with my ex," you revealed, your eyes holding a mixture of vulnerability as you played with the picnic blanket fabric under your body.

"Rebellious? I could never have guessed that," he said, a hint of amusement in his voice.

You chuckled, shaking your head. "Yeah, it might be hard to believe now, but I had my moments," you admitted, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "I guess back then I was lost… and we all go through phases, right?"

He smiled back, a playful glint in his eyes. "I suppose so. I'm not looking forward to that with Lukas," he admitted, making you chuckle.

"I'm sure you'll handle it well with your caring attitude," you said, sipping your wine and making him smile. "How about you? I know you have two siblings."

"I actually have three: Páidi, Sile, and Orla," he told you.

"Oh, Tell me more about them," you prompted, genuinely interested in getting to know his family better.

Cillian chuckled, clearly comfortable talking about them. "Sure, let's see. Páidi, my oldest brother, he's the responsible one but also quite a fun company. In a way he is always looking out for us, making sure things are in order, he's a lawyer after all. He definitely has that logical, analytical mind but he can also be a trickster." he chuckled "And Sile,she is the youngest, and you know she is a bundle of energy. She's outgoing, fun-loving, and has this infectious enthusiasm. She can be a pain too" he smiled, you nodded knowing exactly what he was talking about "And then there's Orla, she’s younger than Pad and my older sister. She's the quiet one, more reserved and introspective. Orla is an artist, a painter to be exact. She's got this incredible depth to her, always observing." Cillian's affection for his siblings was evident in the way he spoke about them "We're all pretty close, despite our differences”

"So you all get along well?" you asked preparing hummus cracker

He leaned back, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. "Yeah, we do. We have our moments, of course, but overall we're pretty close. After our parents died we started to put some effort into staying close. We supported each other through that hard time”

“I’m so sorry about your parents! Is it recent?” you asked concern on your voice

“Sort of. Dad died a year and a half ago. Mom died four years ago. She had cancer and he had heart problems, physically and emotionally. He never got over mom’s death, he was quite depressed afterwards” He explained

You nodded sympathetically as he shared about his parents' passing. "It must be really tough to lose someone you've been so close to," you said softly, feeling a pang of sadness for his loss. "I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you and your siblings."

He sighed, his gaze distant for a moment. "Yeah, it was. But we leaned on each other, and it helped us get through it. And now, we try to keep their memory alive by staying connected."

"That's a beautiful way to honor them," you replied with a sincere smile

The topic shifted naturally into your likes and dislikes, as you both shared more about your interests, preferences, and even some quirky habits. The conversation flowed effortlessly, and you found yourselves laughing and discovering common interests and tastes.s

As the sun continued its descent, the casting a warm and mesmerizing array of colors across the sky, slowly turning darker. You both fell into a comfortable silence, too busy admiring the view.

"It's so beautiful," you whispered, your eyes fixed on the still breathtaking sunset.

"Yeah," he murmured in agreement, his gaze on the horizon as well. His hand found yours on the blanket, and his fingers interlocked with yours as you both watched the end of the sunset.

As the last traces of sunlight vanished from the sky, the air grew cooler, and you shivered slightly against the breeze. Cillian, sensing your discomfort, gently wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in close against his warm body. It was a comforting embrace, effectively shielding you from the encroaching chill.

"It's getting chilly," he murmured softly, his warm breath tickling your ear. "Are you cold?"

You nodded, a contented smile curving your lips. "Yeah, but I'm much warmer now. Thanks."

He responded by planting a tender kiss on the top of your head, his chin settling there momentarily.

"We should probably start heading back, though," he suggested gently, he suggested softly, his voice a gentle murmur against your hair

You nodded, your fingers tightening around his shirt. "Yeah, you're right."

Reluctantly, you both began to gather your belongings, folding the picnic blanket and placing the items back in the basket. As you stood up, he kept his arm around you, providing a shield against the evening chill.

As you reached the car, he opened the trunk and carefully stored the picnic basket. As you prepared to get into the car, he turned to you with a warm, satisfied smile.

"Today was fun," he declared, his eyes lighting up.

"Well, you certainly make for great company," you replied, a smile gracing your lips as you leaned in closer, your hands resting gently on his chest as his arms held you close.

Closing the distance, he brushed his lips against yours in a lingering, sweet kiss. "So are you," he whispered against your lips.

With a last wistful glance at the tranquil beach, you both got into the car. The engine purred to life, and the journey back began. The drive was quieter this time, both of you lost in your individual thoughts.

Upon parking in front of your building, he turned to you, his gaze soft and affectionate.

"Here we are," he murmured softly, his eyes tracing the contours of your face.

A thought crossed your mind, and you couldn't help but ask, "Want to come in?" you smiled.

He grinned, a hand reaching up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. "I would love to, but I don’t have anyone to watch Lukas today. I have to pick him up at my brother's place in a few minutes," he explained looking at his wristwatch.

You masked your disappointment with a nod. "Oh, I understand."

"But..." he continued with a hopeful glint in his eyes, "we could cook dinner at my place. This weekend, Lukas will be staying with his mom."

A genuine smile returned to your face. "That sounds like a great plan."

You unbuckled your seatbelt and leaned in to share a slow and gentle kiss, taking your time on exploring his lips. No real desire for it to end.

"Goodnight, Cillian," you whispered, pulling away and opening the car door.

"Goodnight, y/n," he replied, his voice soft and an small smile on his lips

With a final smile, you stepped out of the car and closed the door behind you. He watched you as you got in the building, only leaving when you were safe inside.

As you got home, you showered feeling happy at how things were going. Cillian was a sweet and gentle man. If you guys keep this up, you were sure it wouldn’t take long for him to become important to you.

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Taglist: @allie131313 @sherbitdibdab @sinceviennas @stilestotherescue

#cillian fic #cillian murphy #cillian one shot #cillian x fem!reader #cillian smut #cillian series #cillian x reader #cillianmurphy #peakyblinders #thomas shelby #tommy shelby #fanfic #tommyshelby #cillian fluff #cillian x y/n #oppenheimer #peaky blinders

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impossiblebird · 2 years ago

Note

like all universes, that of Pluto is in constant expansion. it is the beauty of art and literature, isn’t it? no matter how finished a work appears to be, there is always more creation that can emerge from it. i believe we know that better than anyone. here is another glimpse behind the scenes of Pluto! 🪐

- originally, lizzy was supposed to give birth while thomas was there. thomas and newt would have been woken up in the night by her screams. the labour is difficult and lizzy loses a lot of blood, much to newt and harriet’s distress, but thomas uses his three brain cells and what he remembers from a few classes about midwifery to deliver the baby and both lizzy and the baby survive

- lizzy doesn’t know how to name her baby, but thomas remembers sonya telling him her great-great-grandma was called amelia, so that’s what he suggests. like the letter, the name amelia originates from the time loop: thomas suggests it because he knows it’s her name, but it’s her name because thomas suggests it. i eventually cut that scene because i was running out of time. instead i ended up using the name of the baby as the thing thomas used to prove to newt that he does come from the future

- there would have been one or two cute scenes of sonyarriet raising their daughter. but even though those scenes did not make the cut, i can assure you the three of them live happily together, as do brenda and teresa ❤️

- the four of them do come to the conclusion that thomas and newt eloped with the car and they are all very happy for them 🥰

- originally, newt was supposed to live 33 years earlier, in 1857, but I needed telephones to be a thing, so i pushed a little

- you will notice that there are 132 years between 1890 and 2022, which is 4 times 33 years. it was important for me to have thomas travelling 33 years in the past (x4) as an easter egg to netflix’s dark which inspired me for some of the time travel (notably regarding the elements that only exist within the time loop, like the letter)

- another obvious inspiration was back to the future (thomas makes sure newt NEVER hears about this movie, he just knows he would get absolutely roasted for being stupid enough to copy the delorean)

- i remember you saying you weren’t the biggest fan of using edison as thomas’s last name, so i took that opportunity to make fun of that trope! it would have been even more fitting with the whole “newt having electricity power” thing, but i think it also works pretty well as it is (did you know thomas edison got married on christmas day? now that’s about to give another thomas some ideas)

- as it turns out, some academics also believe edison inspired h.g. wells to write the time machine. fitting, isn’t it?

- newt only learns thomas’s real name weeks later when the mailman shows up to their apartment with a package for “mr. murphy” and newt almost tells him to get lost before thomas intervenes (good call; the package was the starry light projector he ordered for newt!)

MORE BTS FOR ME?! 🥺

thomas was gonna help lizzy give birth omfg…….. thank the stars for those three braincells and his midwifery classes 😳 (VERY glad to here they would have both survived, but who delivered the baby if thomas wasn’t there?!)

oooooooooooo the name would have originated from the timeloop too!!! i do love what you did the names on the wall though, it was SO cool and so clever to read and that was exactly what i imagined this vague time travel au to look like when i put it in my wish list 🥺

sonyarriet and their daughter and brenderesa all living happily ever after :’) except omg i didn’t even imagine what they must have thought happened to newt and thomas…. but lmfao them just being like yup, must have left with that weird futuristic tin can makes me giggle

omg YOUR MIND… i haven’t seen Dark (although i am now tempted to) but hearing about that easter egg from your inspiration is SO COOL. you’re next level, honestly

SKDJSKDJSKFHFKBDM well now i’m picturing a few-years-later where newt finds out about back to the future before thomas can stop him…… he deserves the roast tbh 😭

i actually LOVED the making fun of thomas edison in this, honestly it was completely brilliant. and weirdly fitting as it is lmfao. (christmas wedding ?!?!?)

WOW okay that’s scarily fitting actually…. and i love how much research & thought you’ve put into this 💛

crying over the fact that newt just didn’t question thomas’ real surname until that point 😭😭😭 (IT WAS THE LIGHT PROJECTOR OMG)

the universe of pluto has been expanding so much more with these beautiful bts and fun facts and i honestly cannot thank you enough for taking the time to do that for me :’) a reread is definitely due asap (so i can also write up my guess as to who i think you are 💛)

ily santa <3

#ask #tmrss22 #pluto

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beauty-rebel-dgafblog · 4 months ago

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Blog.

Looks like I am here again. Blogging on Tumblr. At age 27. I started using this website service before the hype of the internet. It was a breath of fresh post. Peaceful yet real post. Source you know come from average home life prospective. At least that is what my searches gave me. Art, creativity, passion, muse, etc.

This time I come to this place to think. To type my thoughts and share them somewhere with the world. A timeline of sorts.

I've been trying to have simple thoughts about my life lately. Being as though it has gotten so complicated with responsibilities and life ver my adult years. I had my third child and girl eight months ago. Her name is Aubree. I usually go back to work as soon as i can find it and have not done so this time.

In the mist of three babies three years apart each back to back. I lost my body, my self care and then love, and finally my mental. Was going to walk away from it all. Go be a dead beat abandoning mother to my lonesome. THIS year not joke, I kid you not! Being convinced to do otherwise. My path leads me here. Making enough typing errors to give myself an F in keyboarding. (Which is funny because I am teaching my oldest daughter Kristen to start practicing it now for fun!) Watching her reminds me a lot of my childhood trials and error myself of growing into the me I am today.

SO, Anyways my inner thoughts....

I really want to teach myself to farm the food I like to eat. I hope to one day own enough land to wake up and do so on the privacy of my property. Learning that I can gather chicken eggs from a local farm for growing from public education. Which has rather been a benefit thus far of Americas system giving the belief to its students we will be prepared for the real world. There will be a library. Lots of books and clearly plants. Chickens and a dog to watch the chickens.

This has become part of my goal of achievements I want to reach in life. You know things never go as planned.

Before doing this, I am working towards being a certified and experienced CPA. The starting up a club. A club that hosts night and day events. Rents space for events! Host free community events. Be a family place that caters to everyone's fun. Like, maybe a room just for kids when an adult event is being hosted but people do not want to find sitters. Or cannot find sitters. It will be amazing like princess Tiana's restaurant dream. Or Eddie Murphy's characters night club idea. " The BOOM BOOM ROOM". I now just thought I must think of a name. Something inviting to all. For all occasions. Hmm comment any ideas please.

Moving on I am somewhat in school for this rn. I am processing. I just was not being patient with anything after having a baby another baby. Being set back to the stay-at-home and do everything with solely your bills paid and house supplied. No means of driving. Always having to depend on or wait to make it happen for YOU.

#send me asks #ask me anything #blogging #myjourney #black lives matter #therealme #beautiful #honestly though #thoughts #my thoughts

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ruby-red-inky-blue · 1 year ago

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random notes on naddpod c1 ep 70-100

part three of the list of personal highlighs, shared here in lieu of chewing my very indifferent friends’ ears off irl. For whom it may concern.

spoiler warning! you will get no context but still, massive massive spoilers ahead

That moment where Hardwon almost came back as a gnome tho, right after Murph explains how he left that option in as a joke

The wrestling! Jake and Emily rolling the exact same three times in a row!

so much good parents content in this episode! Also Melora is back, I adore her. The concept of an anti-authoritarian deity is so funny. “No don't listen to me! But do. But don't!”

I’m with Emily, Murph doing Elvish is the actual worst thing to ever happen

“I’ve hit a bit of a rough patch in my relationship but that’s okay because I found a book that lets me kill my dad.” “Everything’s coming up Beverly!”

“You can’t tell us your character’s name, Zac, because they haven’t met you yet.” “And they never will!” “Yeah, I kept telling you they’re not going to the Frigid North but you wouldn’t listen.” “I keep heading north.” “I keep telling you, they’re south, they’re so far south -”

Zac’s characters gaslighting an NPC is always funny. *badly tells a bold-faced lie* “Why would I lie about that?”

“Unsheep him immediately!”

Ren’s laughter is INFURIATING

“Yeah, he lost both contacts. Both contacts just shot out of his eyes when he was giving the speech earlier.”

I cannot for the life of me figure out if any of them are actually good singers or not

Pursuit of Dragon Eggs

Zac “unofficial King of the One-liner” Oyama at it again with the perfect character intro: “Mavrus the Unschooled who… forgot this assignment”

Genuinely I just want to be as effortlessly funny as Zac for a single day. Just to know what it’s like to live like that.

Finally a realistic magical tournament - now with bathroom breaks!

Mawmaw is back! I love her so much

Lucanis doting on his newfound daughter is so sweet

“We shall meet at dawn!” “That’s so early, can we do like nine?”

Murph doing out of touch aristocrats (the “SilvONE percent”, Caldwell is on FIRE) is GOLDEN. “Ren, keep working on yourself.” “I won’t.”

The Boobs getting Balnor a mechanical tuna that sings Chasing Cars

Also this might be the first time I’ve seen the DM carrying on a bit for so long it actively stalls the plot, and I loved every dumb second of it

Murph trying to introduce Cooter’s new high eleven girlfriend, fucking up and calling her his wife instead, and having to take that in stride

“Nice cape, my champion.” “Oh, do you like it? I got it expressly to impress you.” HARDWON

“It’s fourteen platinum. I know you have many slides to build.” “Yes, this will go a long way to build the parliamentary water park.”

Progressively useless shop links

The bit about them trying to get Murph to give up the cliffhanger while on tour is so funny because a) the idea that Jake would be the one to go looking for Murph’s notes while Emily and Caldwell keep him busy when they are literally IN EMILY’S ROOM and b) that he’d somehow have to try to break in when it is LITERALLY ALSO EMILY’S ROOM

Caldwell calling Murph “Daddy Murphy”, “Daddy DM” and “Teacher” in quick succession while trying to get away with some Classic Beverly Bullshit absolutely sent me

“I’m just gonna keep stabbing at the slit… and think nothing of the implications.” “Thanks, I hate it.” Well so do I, Murph, but you’re the one who gave this group an environment with a slit in it that people can push a sword through so. should have seen that coming a mile off

Of course I’d reach the extremely horny part of this episode while I’m standing in line at the supermarket 🙈

I was starting to think that maybe Murph had finally shaken his dice curse, but then he’s rolling for that fight at the casino with the bullywog and the enchanted sword and I think it’s been going on for like five rounds and neither of them has hit the other

“We should play this for real money.” “Have you seen my husband roll dice?!”

“You killed my beautiful boy!” “Mrs. Rosell?” “No, it’s Ilsed! Context clues, everyone!”

“Poetry or whatever the next level of hell is”

Hardwon’s flashback 😔

BABY PAWPAW

“Moonshine, there’s something about you. Things that don’t belong just… find a way of belonging when you’re around.” is such a knockout of a line. It’s so sweet, it almost made me cry.

Followed directly by “Pawpaw shits into your bib,” of course

“Fungus can’t eat plot armour, right?”

CALDWELL. Hot damn the man is too good at this.

“You killed me, Murphy!” “I have to take a bath! I need to go on a long walk! You ruined my night, Brian!”

“This is the hardest work it would be to bully anyone.” “I wrote a tragic backstory for you, loser!”

Running all three one on one encounters as one encounter is such a good move

“Hey what’s up with your hammer?” “The hammer’s gotten bigger, I have NOT gotten smaller!”

“How far were you from the edge, Moonshine?” “Forty feet. […] You gonna take me to the edge, Hardwon?” “I’ll do my best to get you over the edge, Moonshine.” “…what would you do if you were having sex and they were like, I’m forty feet away?” “I’d be like whoa, that’s pretty far.” “But I can get there with a full dash!” And then nobody, DM included, manages to get through a single sentence including the word edge for the next couple of minutes…

Murph’s gleeful “you guys are pissed at me”

“Hardwon, make out with him!” “I’m recording it on my recording orb.” “…who is this for?”

“I’m a falcon. Can I lift Bev up?” “Absolutely not!” “I’m gonna try anyway.” “You are like Link holding up a chicken. Just running with a flapping bird in one hand.”

Not Murph opening the Ilsed flashback with a full minute on cyclical aesthetic trends in architecture?

“Please don’t be hot, please don’t be hot…” “… a young, hot Ilsed -“ “No!!!” Same Bev. Same.

“You wanted to be special, and you are! It’s rare to find someone stupid enough to make a deal with me but with enough potential that I could still do something good with your body, we’ll done.” That’s brutal

Murph slowly losing his mind as his players debate whether hell is really all bad (“the first layer is like super rad”) and what the purpose of hell is “the purpose is for bad people to torture other bad people and it’s bad and it sucks and it’s hell??”

I too am weak for a loyal knight and I melt into a puddle every time Jake and Murph run through their Hardwon and Mawmaw routine

Also this seems as good a time as any to give a round of applause for the “dwarphanage” and “dwarphan” puns. It’s so funny it just never gets old

so amused by how both Jake and Caldwell have called Murph Brian to signal anger

41 to hit?? Is that even a thing?

“Well, my cat was sick and I’m feeling spicy”

“This is an insane dynamic for a twenty-five-year-old to be in the middle of.”

Cooter the Berry Boy

“…did you just quote Lin-Manuel Miranda? […] You shoot this beam of red hot light and it hits this thing and it begins to melt away as you give an insane speech that you took from someone who does not exist in this world.”

Jake’s quiet sob of “that’s plagiarism” in the background

“Yes, my name is ‘Luke Earthier’.” 😬

Murph giving his elves super ridiculous names but then hating when the PCs make fun of them is so funny. He fully played himself

But it’s also very sweet how he will just fully accept their dumb nicknames. Lucanus is Daddy Luke now. Pendergreens hasn’t been called by his actual name for weeks.

Zac, who obviously came in without a prepared intro, trying to come up with a two-liner on the fly and somehow deciding the word he’ll be trying to rhyme with is “Juiblex”

“The thing is, Zac, I wrote sketch with you for like a year, and -“ “We know you’re smart. Is the disappointing thing.”

Random flashforward to Apple and Cooter, lone survivors of the apocalypse, in a Denny’s in Shadowfell

“Trees are beautiful and cool, that’s one of the first things you learn as a Green Teen!” “He’s right! Trees are cool and you suck!”

“You get non-lethally Boromir’d”

absolute cruelest answer to whether the NPC was deceived by a 13 deception check: “Hey, man. Maybe.”

Emily forcing ridiculous world building on her DM, truly The Axford Move: “Take that hat off and debate me!” “Alright, you take that vest off!” “…do I have a vest on?”

*threatening reer* is an underrated Pawpaw noise

That cliffhanger at the end of Ep. 88 and the outrage

“We’re all gonna jump you after this!” “There’s so many of us here, man!” “We’re gonna box your ass, we’re gonna mail it to… to Spain!”

“You can listen to people threatening to put my ass in a box on the Short Rest -” “Hey, no. I’m only gonna celebrate your ass.”

“Murph. My hat has telekinesis, right?” “Yeah?” “Can I use my telekinesis to control the sphere that we just received from Akarot?” “…Yeah.” “Okay, sweet, I’m going to fling this Sphere of Chomping Shit Up with my telekinesis.” Murph, apparently remembering in this very moment he’s DMing for Emily “I disguise myself as him” Axford: “Oh no.”

Bev and Erlin pull a full “here at the end of all things”

Jeez this episode is just the Emily and Murph drama hour. She’s leaving her possum! I am upset!!

Cobb’s “would this be a bad time to invite you to my improv show” was perfectly timed

“I assume the horse of Famine is stalking me, so I put out a plate of food for it every night. To be hospitable.” EMILY!!!

“It’s this vendetta that this horse has for me.” “...do you think maybe the rider also has something to do with it?” (this in reference to the Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse)

I love how Murph is making progressively scarier villains and the boobs just flatly refuse to take them even a little seriously

“Everybody wake the fuck up, Death is here! Like actual fucking Death?!” is almost as funny as Bev’s “Rise and shine, we’re in the shit again!” from the Galaderon arc

“The horses we ride were all killed by you!” 10/10 callback, no notes

“The end is nigh! Bird for sale! The end is nigh!”

Jake asks Murph to rate everyone based on looks, immediately regrets it when Murph ranks him fourth, after himself

Emily plugging the podcast itself on its 96th episode

Them workshopping Caldwell’s intro rhyme on air for several minutes, then finally getting the recap started only for Emily to interrupt Murph after half a sentence to point out he “says ‘dragon’ cute”

I’m still not over the shock that the “what an honour. what an injustice.” quote is from this podcast. Damn. (Also I somehow really expected that to be a Caldwell line.)

“You must understand, I’m under a tremendous amount of pressure, I can’t tell when people are joking.” Oh the line between Murph and Melora is growing thin

“You see yourself outsmarting Josh and turning his entire army against him, you turning Akarot’s steed into a dolphin, outing Balnor as the witch in the Autumn Court trials... Just a supercut of Murph whomps.”

“Hey man, I know I haven’t said this in a while, but fuck you!”

Hardwon fighting Jaina, Mawmaw and Old Cobb but barely fighting back is just plain tragic

“Peepaw, is this another lesson? Is this a lesson I’m not understanding the meaning of?” “Moonshine, this is because I’m disappointed in you!” Murph is taking no prisoners this ep, noted.

“It’s good. I think you’re good. You’re smart, you’re a great storyteller, and you’re mean! You’re a bad guy.” I love that this is both a joke and the greatest praise a writer can receive

“That is the wraith on the red horse’s turn. He is a dolphin. The dolphin on the bigger dolphin flops. In Hell.” again, NO respect for Murph’s apocalyptic riders

a brief and nearly incomprehensible aside about Meatloaf songs (whose political views WERE problematic but whose songs 100 percent occupy the exact aesthetic of this batshit insane scene)

Murph picked the worst Meatloaf song tbh

honestly my main gripe with Pendergreens is I cannot fucking understand him and that hurts my pride. please this is my second language

i love how religiously Emily is keeping Deadeye’s memory alive throughout this, it’s so sweet

Moonshine and Meemaw on the grandma tree </3

“I didn’t have you until I was 350 years old. By that time, I had already lost Marabelle. And here, now I got you. Now I got another sister.” this whole conversation is so perfect, but I really really love this part, it’s so lovely to acknowledge how your relationship to your parents can evolve over a lifetime (especially one as long as this)

Emily’s delight at finding the critter refugee colony in the grandma tree is so pure

Murph bringing back Caldwell’s worst Green Teen creation as a wholesome jamboreen campfire memory

and one last Cawcaw sighting

what is it with the entire d20 cast and fem characters with that half-shaved/undercut hairstyle. legit every time they want to make a fem character particularly cool they give them that haircut

not Murph trying to sus out Hardwon’s deal with Moonshine once and for all in the penultimate episode by any means necessary

“’I’ll just... get another brewsky, and then I’ll meet you... behind the tree in... t -5.’ And then Hardwon does a weird moonwalk away.”

Bev goofs one last time and once again falls from a great height

I want Denny’s “whelp, I’m alive!” as a soundbite

“What are the others up to? Are they in danger?” “... how old are you?” “Sixteen!” “.....they’re hangin’ out.”

"Can we say that what I did to Jaina was a sort of religious experience and counts as a zealous trance” is definitely one of the funniest things Murph has let Emily get away with

“Congratulations, y’all. You fucked in DnD”

Jake almost crying in his (presumably) last intro as Hardwon

Murph laying it on unexpectedly thick and Emily struggling to follow that up with the very silly intro she prepared

“One hour [of going down on someone] isn’t taking your time??”

One last Somber Boy Song! and what a song it was, damn, Caldwell!

“He has such a haunting boy voice! It feels like he’s just alone in an abandoned church.”

“No, I don’t intend to join you [in your fight against a god], mylady. You are a demigod. I am a butler.”

“Do you guys think the Gods were scared when people looked to them?” “If they weren’t, they weren’t doing it right.”

“Here’s what I’d like to do, Murph: I would like to blow the Horn of Valhalla, bring out these berserkers, and then I would like to, on the thinking cap, cast Conjure Woodland Creatures and conjure eight pixies, and I’d like to put four of them in the Bag of Holding and use four of them to cast Fly on four of the berserkers which then I will cast Animal Shapes on, using my own concentration, to turn them into elephants, and we can go into battle on flying elephants. .... Just let me know if you want to leave me.” I have found my new favourite Emily moment. Jesus Christ. Her getting through that wild plan so businesslike and then “just let me know if you want to leave me” in that defeated tone took me OUT

underrated reason to bring back an old enemy for the finale: he’s the most annoying and everyone hates his guts

“Hardwon, you take a sick 69 psychic damage”

“The actual God looks hurt. She’s upset, I’m upset. But don’t worry, everyone, it is my turn.”

“That brings me down the same way my old man went down.” aka Jake sends the DM into an emotional crisis with a single sentence.

“You briefly fix his deviated septum.” now that’s just cruel

Handy Andy playing a vital role in the final fight makes me so happy, Deadeye helped! Posthumously!

“Hardwon, you struggle, but you get through the words… Table… of… Contents” cause of death: this

“Your god is a pro wrestler” OH MY GOD OF COURSE HE IS. Emily cracked it

“It’s okay, Balnor. Like all the most powerful things in the world, I knew I was only borrowing you.”

Hardwon coming into Shadowfell with unimaginable amounts of dirty laundry: “Moooooooom!”

Hardwon meets his dad :(

Murph really has the “emotionally repressed Dad” routine down pat

“Thank you so much, I sent [the Thinking Cap] through the dry cleaner’s, so it should be all good.” “Dijuana was killed by the dry cleaners.” “You were not supposed to get it wet.” “Yeah, something screamed in there they said, I don’t know.”

Another Jamboreen! And it’s about to probably get cancelled again with another Pebblepot in charge! Time is flat circle

“You see Cran grabs the counsellor, ‘Are you a Pebblepot? You have to tell me if you’re a Pebblepot!!’“

“I cast Conjure Animals and create... what would a dragon eat?” “It would for sure eat like a sheep?” “Oh no, that feels so cruel!” “But you’re creating it, it’s like... it’s a Beyond burger. Beyond Sheep.”

Of course Moonshine accidentally created a Crick dragon

Hardwon gets a fixer-upper in the Crick

I cannot believe Murph managed to pay off that horrendous hotel room scene, and how! Incredible. No notes.

This doesn’t strictly go here but if you go on IMDb, everyone but Zac is officially credited with their silly homebrew DM titles. Like Murph is credited as “Direct Messenger (Dungeon Master)”. I discovered this on a very stressful day and it delighted me to no end.

#boy what a ride #carrie watches #naddpod c1 #emily axford #naddpod #brian murphy #jake hurwitz #caldwell tanner #zac oyama #siobhan thompson #long post

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preemshots · 4 years ago

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the definitive post of WHERE IN THE WORLD IS JOHNNY SILVERHAND’S BODY?

AKA the post of HERE’S WHY I WANT TO BELIEVE WE ARE GONNA GET JOHNNY’S BODY BACK IN DLC.

buckle up, gamers. it's time for some lore. this is a very long post.

warning: this will contain a million spoilers. both for details of multiple game endings, a wee bit of the “where’s johnny” comic, and the cyberpunk RED book. if you want a sparknotes version this is the post for you. my main source here is the cyberpunk RED book as well as as some references to the cyberpunk 2077 world book to cross examine the lore.

i have no idea if someone has made this post before or what anybody else has been finding in their own lore diving. this is just me documenting my own findings from the sources i’ve been using.

it would be disingenuous not to preface this with the ways in which cyberpunk 2077's telling of the arasaka assault differ from the version told in the TTRPG books. the books =/= the game. pondsmith acknowledges in the intro of RED that this is a bridge between the old cyberpunk world and the new world of cyberpunk 2077.

we also know that johnny's an unreliable narrator and his memories presented to V are often different than real events. but on top of that we don't know if the reason why many elements are changed is simply CDPR editing/adjusting/condensing the storyline for their own canon, or if it's due to johnny's construct being manipulated by outside influences such as arasaka.

some of the main differences you need to know from cyberpunk RED canon:

in 2023 johnny doesn't bring the nukes to arasaka tower. he's solely there to free alt.

johnny and rogue and their team from the atlantis/the aldecaldos are actually hired by morgan blackhand.

morgan blackhand is the one who plants the nuke, unbeknownst to many members of the team.

morgan blackhand promptly disappears after this event and no one knows if he's alive or dead. (claire confirms this fact to jackie and v before the heist in 2077 canon)

johnny's silver cybernetic arm is its own character, separate from himself. it seems to have a mind of its own and johnny interacts with it and/or is influenced by it.

when he, spider murphy, rogue, thompson, shaitan, and a team of los lobos from the aldecaldos (who are there in place of santiago, as he’s busy as the leader of the aldecaldos at this point) are attacked by adam smasher, johnny and his arm actively choose to draw smasher's fire in a deliberately suicidal move. smasher downs him instantly, but the distraction is enough to also save his friends.

spider murphy shoves a mysterious chip in johnny's dying head as they escape that alt had downloaded to her a long time ago.

johnny's body is later "rumoured" to have been retrieved from the rubble by a full-body borg groupie that was a first responder to the ground zero of AHQ and then hidden away in a nearby garage.

here comes the political lore that makes my eyes cross, so hopefully this accurately summarizes it: the 4th corporate war begins to end. arasaka is ultimately blamed by the NUSA government to have nuked themselves in a political move to protect their secrets and promptly banished from the USA. arasaka denies this all the way back to japan, then eventually returns to “liberate” night city in the unification wars.

but what the public doesn't know is that kei, saburo's oldest son, had actually hidden an EVEN BIGGER MORE DEVASTATING NUKE at the bottom of the tower to, well, do exactly what they were being accused of doing, even though blackhand was the one who actually dropped the smaller nuke on them. and luckily the bigger one didn’t go off.

arasaka tries to find their nuke in the rubble so they don't get in even bigger trouble, only to discover that it was moved and hidden away to... surprise! a nearby garage.

to compare with 2077:

in RED: we have no johnny loading the nukes into the elevator. no johnny being carried off the premises. no meeting saburo. no johnny getting soulkilled.

in 2077: there's a parallel moment to RED's version of events right after johnny uploads "liberator" from alt's old cyberdeck with spider's help into the arasaka mainframe in saburo's office. adam smasher comes for him as he's trying to escape, knocking him off the second floor of the atrium into the rock garden below.

visually this is the same atrium we always meet alt in in cyberspace and also where V meets johnny for the first time. hmmm. meaningful, perhaps.

not unlike what happens in RED, johnny unloads a clip into smasher at that point, but from there the scene instantly cuts to him running to the roof attempting to board the AV with rogue, where smasher shoots him down again. it’s possible johnny actually died to smasher in the atrium and we have some fabricated memories going on.

either way, in 2077, we lose the character beat of johnny dying for his friends, and the current-day general consensus from rogue and others is that he’s perpetually a selfish asshole with ulterior motives.

and, just to wrap up the politics of it all: morgan blackhand is rumoured to have been secretly hired by the militech-backed NUSA government to help end the 4th corporate war by... you guessed it! nuking arasaka.

HERE'S WHERE JOHNNY'S BODY ENDS UP IN CYBERPUNK RED (SPARKNOTES VERSION):

RED ends with a story called "black dog" set in 2045. black dog is the last song johnny recorded right before the assault on arasaka tower, but the final copy is a bootleg copy of the song and only a fraction.

we're introduced to a fun group of cybernetic-enhanced characters that represent the classes in the TTRPG and based on/designed by real people in collaboration with CDPR.

this group includes trace santiago, santiago's son, who is a media that is curious about the mystery surrounding the circumstances around his father and the arasaka bombing.

just connecting lore here: if you talk to saul at the aldecaldo camp in 2077, he confirms that santiago was killed for his involvement with johnny and the bombing, something that rogue and johnny reference when they talk about their now-dead crew from the afterlife, and in chippin in, santiago is a friend that johnny lists as someone he had disappointed.

the group sets off to find any info about black dog, and meet up with a full conversion chrome woman named samantha in a garage who is blatantly a johnny silverhand fangirl. trace discovers she has a history with johnny, having rescued him from a studio fire at some point in 2015 and speculates she could have been a groupie also.

she mysteriously has a more complete recording of black dog, though not perfect, and offers to trade it for a service: she wants the group to transport a large crate to a facility in new mexico, asking them not to open it.

shit goes down. evidently everyone in night city wants to kill them for this package once it starts moving. eventually they open it. it's the arasaka nuke that had been hidden and never went off, emblazoned with warnings.

trace inquires about the circumstances surrounding the arasaka assault with an older member of the lobos who had been present with rogue and johnny. the man mentions that it was weird, because morgan blackhand organized the whole thing and then ran off immediately with a mysterious bag that we now know contained the nuke.

michiko arasaka intercepts the gang, explaining the situation around the bigger nuke, that other factions in arasaka want to utilize it for their own goals (presumably hanako and yorinobu) and her father's legacy, that she feels responsible for. she escorts them to new mexico so that the nuke can be dismantled once and for all.

they meet up with a woman named angel in new mexico that takes the crate from them, at a facility that specializes in nuclear material. she gives the group the full recording of "black dog". the group leaves successful.

this woman is also a johnny silverhand stan. once alone, she calls up samantha, who says, "i promised i would get him to you in the end" and reveals that she had already gutted/dismantled the original nuke and discarded the material into the bay.

angel opens the "nuke" to reveal a hidden cryochamber, and greets the face of the person inside with, "hello, my love."

i mean, holy shit. okay! so that’s DEFINITELY johnny’s body. cool!

now let’s go into all the references to this story in the actual game of cyberpunk 2077 that SUGGEST we are going to pursue this story AND johnny's body since it’s such a HOT FUCKING TOPIC.

and i know many of the following can just be considered easter eggs. but my personal interpretation of this game is that it has a really delightful way of intentionally glossing over important story details—and not by ONLY putting them in shards (which people tend to dislike because lol reading) but by also hiding them in plain sight, constantly deferring to V's own ignorance, distracting us with shallower, shinier things, encouraging us to actually play as the fool hero of this story.

so here's the fun list of “””evidence”””:

this one’s a reach, but fun. in the initial arasaka assault flashback in 2023: we can interact with the groupies at kerry's show as johnny. samantha doesn't appear to be present, but the first person and groupie you can encounter in the flashback has a passing resemblance to angel in that she has a cybernetic arm.

in chippin' in, where we go to johnny's "grave" in the oil fields: if we are to take the 2077 retelling of events as truth, the story could instead be pretty easily be changed that samantha procured his body from there.

mike pondsmith, who wrote these stories and created the TTRPG can be heard on the radio narrating various conspiracy theories. and sure, these can just be easter eggs, intended to reference the differences between the TTRPG lore and the game, so take it with a grain of salt:

johnny. bro. tell him it was morgan blackhand

to top it all off, mike also directly references the actual WORSE nuke arasaka had hid in another arasaka conspiracy:

SPOILERS FOR GAME ENDINGS AHEAD.

in the rogue ending of the game we discover rogue has a son. it's possible her son is trace (edit: nvm NOT LIKELY, since in RED’s black dog story rogue is listed separately from santiago’s mom in conversation) OR possibly one of the other characters. she tells her son to "pull over and look at the stars" or something along those lines. maybe just details, so that screams nomad to me.

rogue also has a photo of herself and johnny with mike pondsmith in her apartment/office in the afterlife. i initially read this as a delightful cameo but it also can mean mike the CHARACTER knew johnny and rogue, and rogue therefore has some kind of relationship to him and these conspiracies on the radio. and why the fuck not make him a full on character? we have a smattering of streamers and personalities already integrated into quests in the game. the creator of all this should be no exception. fuck it!

rogue and johnny constantly dance around this accusation of her “selling out”. it’s repeated over and over that she and adam smasher worked for "the same people". i'm beginning to wonder if this wasn't meant to imply only arasaka since smasher mysteriously disappeared after the AHQ assault in 2023 and returned to SOMETIMES take jobs from arasaka... but possibly morgan blackhand and/or by extension, the NUSA or any other greater influences. (like nightcorp? we still don’t know where all this shit with nightcorp/the peralezes/sandra dorsett’s discovery about their research into mind control is gonna go) this also doesn’t account for the multiple factions inside arasaka with VERY different motives.

morgan blackhand and adam smasher are rivals in the TTRPG, a role that appears to be at least partially filled by johnny instead in 2077. in relation to the arasaka factions, it’s worth nothing that smasher specifically works for yorinobu as his bodyguard at the beginning of the game, in part i assume because yorinobu is avoiding working with arasaka security details as he stole the relic and is plotting against his father. he is then promoted to head of security by yorinobu when yorinobu assumes power.

in the ending as you work your way through arasaka tower with rogue and shaitan and johnny, rogue remarks:

michiko at this point in 2077 is the leader of the more “liberal” faction within arasaka, so it’s possible we’re seeing that while rogue and smasher work for the same people/family, they couldn’t be more different.

you can also encounter rogue more than once on the phone fighting with wakako, who has apparently crossed her. wakako also seems to have her own ulterior motives and works mainly with the arasaka-backed tyger claws. she notably gives v/takemura the parade security info for “play it safe” without asking for anything in return, enabling hanako’s kidnapping. my theory is that yorinobu intentionally leaked the parade info to her to give away to put hanako in danger or at least continue to destabilize arasaka.

in the takemura/devil ending of the game, there is a point where violence breaks out at the arasaka board room meeting when yorinobu-allied security open fire on them. one of the only people that survives along with hanako is michiko arasaka, who was at odds with hanako’s decisions, but very involved in the preceding discussion.

and now for is my favorite detail! in the afterlife AT ALL POINTS IN THE GAME (but it can only really be inspected in the rogue ending when we are allowed behind the bar), we can find a photo of the squad that transported johnny's body from samantha to angel on the shelf below johnny's tequila, of them hanging out in front of the afterlife sign:

this implies rogue has some relationship with them, and sentimentality, if we're to judge by the placement. she maybe even took the picture. i don't know, it's charming, it could be all easter eggs. who fucking knows.

either way, rogue and these kids both have in common that they worked with or at least interacted with michiko arasaka.

and you know what my final evidence is? more wishful thinking! black dog plays on the radio in game. we got a full recorded version of it by refused. if not an oversight, i go ahead and take it to mean the final version was finally released to the public by those kids that were looking for it.

i haven’t the slightest idea how this is gonna wrap up in future DLC. who has johnny’s body now in 2077, decades after it was dropped off in mexico? what is the truth?? where the fuck is morgan blackhand?? from the devil ending, we know that arasaka stole jackie’s body and put his soul into mikoshi, so the idea that they would just toss johnny’s corpse has always been laughable. the “where’s johnny?” promotional comic was even about thompson unsuccessfully trying to find johnny’s body. i know i am biased here but i cannot fathom all this talk about johnny’s body ending off with us NOT finding it, whether it’s just to bury it, shove johnny’s engram back in it, make out with it, or WHATEVER.

if you made it through this slog, congrats. thanks for reading!

#cyberpunk lore #johnny silverhand #spoilers #cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk2077 #cp2077 #cyberpunk game #lore post

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maxismatchccworld · 4 years ago

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Patch Notes

PC: 1.70.84.1020 / Mac: 1.70.84.1220 Console: Version 1.37

Something paranormal this way comes…

There are a number of new terrifying and spooky creatures waiting to make your acquaintance. Not all of them will try to scare you, and some are just downright cute. Still, your Sims' lives are about to become a little otherworldly. It’s time to enjoy letting things get a little paranormal.

Boo! Were you

Scared

? Probably not…

But what you might be interested in hearing is that there is a new emotion that you may see your sims in starting with this patch. There are two levels to this emotion, Scared and Terrified. When you find that your sim is too scared to do things they will be able to try and calm themselves through a few methods… ones that I would obviously know nothing about… *shifty eyes*

There are a few different ways that your sims can try to rid themselves of their fear, things like hiding under the covers or screaming incoherently can put them on the track to being fine once again. A number of buffs from previous packs will now be updated and classified as scared or terrified. It should give a whole new dimension to your sims, it’s like they’re 4d! *hushed whispers* Ohh… that’s not what 4d is? Nevermind.

As a bonus, Simmers with a Razer Chroma enabled setup (Single Zone Chroma RGB Lighting is not supported) can get more immersed in The Sims by extending the experience to your desktop. The Razer Chroma lighting will reflect the moods of your selected Sims*, colors that match the theme of the secret world you are visiting and more. You can disable the dynamic lighting in Game Options > Other if this is something you don’t fancy as well.

*Please note that you will need to be running Windows with Razer Synapse installed and running to make use of the dynamic lighting.

-SimGuruRad and SimGuruRusskii

Now onto the fixes:

Sims 4

Fixed an issue related to game freezing or hanging related to Platforms usage that made the game unrecoverable.

For our Xbox One Simmers, we have fixed an issue in which the audio was distorted after several hours of gameplay.

Empty plates left on the counter will no longer have the “Load Dishwasher” option greyed out. Honestly, this was the universe telling you that you probably shouldn’t use the dishwasher for one plate, but you’re welcome.

This editor and the Localization team fixed a few typos, capitalization issues, tweaked and enhanced (ENHANCE!) some translations across all packs as it is customary in all updates.

Get Famous

Sims can now be opted out of Fame in the Options Menu once again. Don’t care about the bling or the hi-life, ‘cause Simoleons ain’t mean thing if ya ain’t Simming right.

Snowy Escape

Fixed an issue in which Snowy Escape-locked CAS items were showing up when randomizing clothing in Create a Sim. And thus concludes the Window Shopping experience =(

Journey to Batuu

We fixed an issue that made the game crash if you were idle for a while in Batuu. I know I am all for doing all the activities all the time, but taking a breather (or well, staring… I mean admiring Kylo for a while) and having the game crash? I can only take so much at one time, you know?

Tiny Living

Child Sims will no longer levitate or perform the “Warn about Bed Safety” interaction on Murphy Beds. Turns out the Child Sims had joined a levitating class, so things are looking up!

The Media Marathoner will now properly display Power Consumption Ratings. When you waste electricity in the game, you’re wasting electricity in real life!

Simmers who own Seasons will now see the “Egg Hunt” interaction on the Media Marathoner and the Media Marathoner All-on-the-Wall.

Nifty Knitting

Cat owners rejoice! Now balls of Yarn made by pet Cats are able to be kept as owned. Whew! Toys for life! Until the next item of interest appears...

Fixed an issue in which Sims that didn’t have the Kleptomaniac Trait were able to have the “Attempt to Swipe” interaction available on balls of Yarn and Yarn Baskets. Kleptomaniac Sims rejoice on having their interaction for themselves…

Fixed an issue that made the notification for acquiring the Aspiration Lord/Lady of the Knits was not being displayed.

Sims’ feet will no longer sink into the ground if they decide to abruptly end (cancel the interaction) their Rocking on the Rocking Chair. I… Never mind, carry on.

After Sims Teach to Knit, other interactions such as Knit will be able to be performed. This means that after teaching to knit, you can actually knit. That seems like it should happen!

#s4 patch notes

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adultswim2021 · 3 years ago

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Ephemera Week (2002)

It’s still ephemera week, and we’re still talking about John K. I said most of my piece on him in the last post, so don’t expect there to go full bore on this one, except I forgot to say he’s animation’s Jerry Lewis. His current stuff is basically Hardly Working. I will not elaborate, because I’m being mean to you0.

MARCH SPECIALS!

In March, Adult Swim advertised a run of one-off specials. A couple of them were already covered because they fell under the parameters of “Adult Swim original production”. They were Welcome to Eltingville (March 3rd) and Saddle Rash (March 24th).

Day in the Life of Ranger Smith | March 10th 2002 - 11:00 PM (Originally aired on Cartoon Network in 1999)

This was one of two specials commissioned by Cartoon Network re-imagining Yogi Bear. The artist what took this assignment was John K, who I REEEAALLY skewered in last night’s post, didn’t I?

This is about Ranger Smith harassing animals and writing them up for violating park rules, basically. It’s short! I remember liking it at the time! Okay, maybe I’m going crazy here, but I distinctly remembered a part at the end where Ranger Smith is in bed and he solemnly confides in the viewer that the noises of wilderness give him nightmares and then it just ends. Did I imagine this? It does end with him in bed, but this doesn’t happen in the version on YouTube (which is from the Adult Swim airing). Huh.

Boo Boo Runs Wild | March 10th 2002 - 11:15PM (Originally aired on Cartoon Network in 1999)

Boo Boo Runs Wild was another one of these stand-alone Yogi Bear John K specials. This one was 30 minutes long. The Ranger Smith short was a brief 7 minutes; I’m guessing they aired a couple Capt. Lingers or something to fill time.

This one is about Boo Boo reverting to his feral nature and causing BIIIIG problems! This special would later go on to be kind of a weird trolling thing Adult Swim would do where they aired it every Sunday for a few months, even promoting regularly. This was like 2006, I think? They’d also air it as part of April Fools. Is that Adult Swim admitting this special sorta sucks? Does it sorta suck? Again, I liked these at the time and REFUSED to actively rewatch these for this write-up. Sorry.

The Jetsons: Father and Son Day/The Best Son | March 10th, 2002 11:45PM (Originally aired on CartoonNetwork.com in 2001) Our John K rock block ends with a pair of Jetsons shorts, Father and Son Day and The Best Son respectively. This is kinda the same deal as his Yogi Bear shorts, but these were exclusive for Cartoon Network’s website. I remember watching them on there. They are as bad as you’d expect late-period John K internet shorts to be, though the second short is a superior version of Spielberg’s A.I. (in that it’s shorter).

Night of the Living Doo | March 17th, 2002 - 11:00PM (originally aired on Cartoon Network, 2001)

Night of the Living Doo originally aired as wraparound segments during a Halloween Scooby Doo marathon on Cartoon Network. It’s kinda like an episode of the Scooby Doo Movies, which shoehorned in a guest star each episode. Suddenly my man Dick Van Dyke be running a carnival and shit. That’s the Scooby Doo Movies. At the end of the night they played all the wraparound segments in one uninterrupted sitting, so the viewer could appreciate it as an actual full-on Scooby Doo episode. Night of the Living Doo functioned both as an extension of that series as well as a parody. The guests were Gary Coleman, David Cross, and the very cool band Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. It was all very self-deprecating and had jokes about the absurdity of Scooby Doo tropes. Well trod territory by this point, sure. But this is better than most irreverent Scooby Doo things. It didn’t hurt that I was a HUGE David Cross fan when this aired. Is this where I tell the stupid-ass story about getting mad at a message board guy for not liking David Cross? Sure. Okay, yeah. When this aired on Adult Swim a guy on Kon’s (hi Kon) message board posted something about not finding David Cross funny, shrugging that he didn’t get the hype. He cited this and his appearances in the Men in Black movies, and nothing else as proof for his lackluster comedy skills. It’s kinda like deeming Eddie Murphy as a bad comedian after watching Dr. Doolittle.

The point of this special is that David Cross is a little wooden and stilted, like in the old Scooby Doo Movies episodes. This poster revealed that he never heard David Cross’s stand-up or seen Mr. Show, explaining “I don’t watch puppet shows” A response that still baffles me to this day. Why Mr. Show isn’t a-- WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT? I’m not even sure if there was EVER a puppet on Mr. Show*. David wasn’t even a guest on Crank Yankers at this point! SO WHAT THE FUCK? To this day whenever mutual pals from that board get together and watch a movie or show and a puppet appears we make a joke about this guy. Good story? No? Fuck you.

Other stuff about this show: When it originally aired on Cartoon Network it was a little bit longer than the Adult Swim version. There’s a missing scene. I think it’s David trying to play an improv game with a mummy or something. At one point I had it on tape, but I’m not sure I kept it. Sorry.

*sorry to be coy here, but I do know of at least one puppet on Mr. Show, episode 204 there is brief footage of Grass Valley Greg putting on a puppet show for his staff. This CAN’T be the source of the confusion, can it? It’s literally like, 5 seconds.

MAIL BAG

This’ll teach me to skip a day cuz this really piled up. Thanks, guys. I love all the attention. It is my favorite thing.

I never really saw oblongs as something for the hot topic set. They had Invader Zim and Squee for that kind of shit. Oblongs feel like it was always directly targeting me: the shut-in comedy nerd who would appreciate will ferrell and the sklars being in a thing. Since they ended up doing the exact same show with Janeane Garofalo and David Cross a few years later it seems like that was the goal.

Yeah, I guess that also makes sense. There were a few elements that were kinda gothy but this show was mostly just Angus Oblong ahem, clowning around (puckering mouth to stifle laughter like Chris Elliott in Cabin Boy)

What are your thoughts on the other adult animation blocks of the past couple decades? Spike's notriously failed attempt. Animation Domination. Apparently Syfy has had their own going?

Spike was irredeemably bad. People think this shit is easy. Animation Domination is sorta legit, but it’s anchored by mostly crap. That ADHD thing was kinda good and underrated. Is that still going on? I wish I were more diligent about watching/recording that. Some of them bumpers were good. Also, we mustn’t forget MTV’s oddities. They were kinda the first cable network to court Adult Animation as their thing. They deserve some kind of credit for that. I’m sure they’re doing fine.

I'm having a nice big thing of spaghetti for dinner with some chicken parm? Jealous?

I’ve never had those are they good

What does Ephemera mean? Why is this happenening? Why aren't you talking about 10 Home Movies episodes in a row like a good boy.

In dude time, my friend. In dude time

What would be your Adult Swim dream come true?

Having a complete archive of Adult Swim blocks on a harddrive like Don Giller has with his Letterman archive. Even the commercials and shit. I know of a guy who was a regular taper of the entire block from night 1 but I’m not sure he kept up with it when they went nightly. I should ask him if he still has his tapes, huh?

That or they bring back the BUILD YOUR OWN DVD thing but with blu-rays and you can make your own bumps, which was a different thing they had. THEY SHOULD COMBINE THEM. And you can master it in SD if you wanna put 10 hours of stuff on a disk.

All this is archival bullshit dork shit. Real answer: Clay Croker comes back from the dead and every block is hosted by Space Ghost. That’d be it, right?

If anyone has genuine/better answers please write in with them I wanna keep this conversation going. ‘kay?

McDonalds reintroduces limited edition Adult Swim Toys. You can get them all (plus an extra to keep wrapped for collectors purposes) but you have to spend 20 dollars at McDonalds to grab them all. This is the last day of the promotion. You have to personally eat everything you buy but you can take it home. You can only buy one of each food item. What are you getting? I know the longer the mailbag message is the quicker you are inclined to give some glib remark but indulge this one for once.

Oh wow. I’m literally going to take this seriously. I’d roll in as breakfast was ending. Get myself a McChicken Biscuit and a Bacon Egg & Cheese McGriddle, hashbrowns and a Coffee. Gobble that knob on down. Wipe my mouth with a napkin. It’s lunchtime, bitch. Big Mac, Large Fries, BIG ass soda. You feel me, dude? Lemme tally up. Okay, probably need more. 20 piece nugget. Take that home cuz I’m probably gonna have to save some for dinner. That’s probably 20 bucks right there, especially if you go to the McDonalds on Burnside where all the menu items are more expensive because of the amount of security they have to hire (did you know that different McDonalds have different prices even in the same city? I didn’t until very recently). If this somehow doesn’t satisfy my price point I get a Vanilla shake and eat it anally DURING my BIG D squirt sesh, so it’ll spend as little time in my body as possible. Wait, do I get something for this? I might do this tomorrow just cuz. It sounds like a funky thing to do

Do you think you'll open an Adult Swim mueseum at some point? You seem to be the only steward of its history.

Unless I’m hired to by a large corporation, probably not. Also I don’t think I actually have much in the way of merch other than DVDs. I stopped being a DVD completist at some point around Freaknick The Musical. Oh, I never EVER bought a Robot Chicken DVD, EVER. I literally had a nightmare once that one appeared in my collection.

Hey! Please keep us abreast any time you put more of your garbage on eBay. Maybe you can put your wedding dress on there, you big girl.

Fucking sexist/trasphobic behavior.

Check out my eBay auctions I got season 18 of NCIS up there and some other things :)

The Ripping Friends blow chunks. I don't care if a rapist or the opposite of a rapist (a virgin who volunteers, lol) made it. It sucks a high hard one like when Ozzy banged the Cheiftan's Wife in that Black Sabbath TV Funhouse cartoon. Tell me more.

Tell you more?

Name one rap song you tolerate lol. You can't say anything by weird al or marky mark.

I guess I like the song the pest sings from the motion picture The Pest

Are there any good podcasts on adult swim?

The official one hosted by Matt Harrigan is good, but I’ve only bounced around on it. I don’t know if there’s any formal recap ones. I simply don’t know!

HE'S GIVING HIGH HARD ONE TO CHEIFTAN'S WIFE? UH OH!

Buddy, you are BANNED for LIFE from my MAIL BAG! You drive me CRAZY!

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #night of the living doo #boo boo runs wild #yogi bear #jetsons #ephemera

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thesims4blogger · 4 years ago

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The Sims 4: New Game Patch (January 21st, 2020)

There’s a new Sims 4 update available for PC/Mac and Consoles.

Remove all MODS and Custom Content before updating your game

PC: 1.70.84.1020 / Mac: 1.70.84.1220 Console: Version 1.37

Something paranormal this way comes…

There are a number of new terrifying and spooky creatures waiting to make your acquaintance. Not all of them will try to scare you, and some are just downright cute. Still, your Sims’ lives are about to become a little otherworldly. It’s time to enjoy letting things get a little paranormal.

Boo! Were you Scared? Probably not…

*Please note that you will need to be running Windows with Razer Synapse installed and running to make use of the dynamic lighting.

-SimGuruRad and SimGuruRusskii

Now onto the fixes:

Sims 4

Fixed an issue related to game freezing or hanging related to Platforms usage that made the game unrecoverable.

For our Xbox One Simmers, we have fixed an issue in which the audio was distorted after several hours of gameplay.

This editor and the Localization team fixed a few typos, capitalization issues, tweaked and enhanced (ENHANCE!) some translations across all packs as it is customary in all updates.

Get Famous

Sims can now be opted out of Fame in the Options Menu once again. Don’t care about the bling or the hi-life, ‘cause Simoleons ain’t mean thing if ya ain’t Simming right.

Snowy Escape

Fixed an issue in which Snowy Escape-locked CAS items were showing up when randomizing clothing in Create a Sim. And thus concludes the Window Shopping experience =(

Journey to Batuu

Tiny Living

Child Sims will no longer levitate or perform the “Warn about Bed Safety” interaction on Murphy Beds. Turns out the Child Sims had joined a levitating class, so things are looking up!

The Media Marathoner will now properly display Power Consumption Ratings. When you waste electricity in the game, you’re wasting electricity in real life!

Simmers who own Seasons will now see the “Egg Hunt” interaction on the Media Marathoner and the Media Marathoner All-on-the-Wall.

Nifty Knitting

Cat owners rejoice! Now balls of Yarn made by pet Cats are able to be kept as owned. Whew! Toys for life! Until the next item of interest appears…

Fixed an issue that made the notification for acquiring the Aspiration Lord/Lady of the Knits was not being displayed.

Sims’ feet will no longer sink into the ground if they decide to abruptly end (cancel the interaction) their Rocking on the Rocking Chair. I… Never mind, carry on.

After Sims Teach to Knit, other interactions such as Knit will be able to be performed. This means that after teaching to knit, you can actually knit. That seems like it should happen!

#news #the sims 4 #ts4 #sims 4 #game patch

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aerynwrites · 5 years ago

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Liar - Javier Pen͂a x Reader

Author’s Note: Woohoo I’m BACK on the angst train baby, HELL YEAH! God, I love writing angst and I feel like I’m finally getting back into the swing of it! I hope you guys enjoy this little Javier angsty sad piece that I have here for you, and as always I love to hear what you guys think! <3

Requested? Yes! hello! i was wondering if i could make a javier peña request? something angst with a lot of drama maybe? like they have a fight about javier's one nightstands with other girls, thank you! (Requested by anon) AND Hi Love your blog :) Maybe some angst with Javier?♡ (Requested by anon

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: cursing and angst - SO much angst, this one is just sad I’m sorry XD

////

You sat at your desk, shuffling papers around loudly as well as sighing more than usual. Something that catches your partner Steve’s attention, as he sits in the desk across from you.

“Could you calm down? Your angry paper shuffling is distracting,” he muttered.

Your eyes lifted from your papers to look at the exhausted man in front of you and you let out a dejected sigh.

“Yes, I’m sorry,” you say leaning back in your chair, “I’m just…upset is all,” you offer lamely.

Steve lets out a dry chuckle before scribbling something down on his own papers, “Yeah no kidding. What’s got you all riled up in the first place? You’re usually pretty good about hanging up your problems as the door,” he observes, finally setting his pen down and looking to you.

You pursed your lips as you looked at your best friend. Steve had become one of your closest allies since you got reassigned to Colombia, and you pretty much told each other everything. But you weren’t sure if you could tell him about what was bugging you today.

So you shook your head, and looked back down to your papers trying to distract yourself from the issues running through your head, “It’s nothing I can’t handle Steve,” you assure, “Just some personal things I have to work out is all.”

You see Steve roll his eyes before they fall to something behind you and he sits up straighter, “Just in time Pen͂a! I have some things I have to run by you real quick.”

You stiffen slightly as the name of your other partner leaves Steve’s lips and he stands from his chair to greet the other agent with a clap on the back.

You feel Javier lay his hand on your shoulder as he walks over to stand by Murphy’s desk, “Afternoon, (Y/N),” he greets kindly.

But you shrug his hand from your shoulder and don’t look up from your papers, “Agent Pen͂a,” you respond coldly.

This short response shocks both of the men standing beside you, especially Javier. You were usually the kindest and most boisterous person in the room, telling everyone good morning and asking how there day was, and even bringing people coffee when the looked overwhelmed. So, to receive such a short clipped answer from you was very unusual, and Steve knew immediately that Javier was the reason for your less than chipper mood today. Javier, on the other hand, was very confused. Just the other day you all had been laying in his bed, sans-clothing, after a very rousing and heated evening with one another. You had been perfectly fine then, and yesterday when you both had worked together…so what had happened between then and now?

“Hey, are you okay?” Javier asked sincerely, going to put a hand on your shoulder once more.

You smacked his hand away and cast him a cool stare, “Just peachy Javier,” you grabbed your pile of papers from your desk in a rush and stood from your chair, “I have to go give these Ambassador Noonan,” you move past Javier without another word to him and look to Steve as you leave, “I’ll see you later Steve.”

* * *

The rest of the day had been like that, you not so subtly ignoring Javier, in favor of either burning a hole in the papers in front of you with your eyes or talking inly to Steve and the others in the office. It was absolutely infuriating Javier to no end. He wasn’t necessarily angry at you, more frustrated and confused as to what had you so obviously upset with him.

Steve let out a loud sigh as they both watched your figure retreat from the office to go home for the day, and he turned to look at his partner.

“You have to get the sorted out Pen͂a, because I cannot go another day like that,” he said in an exasperated tone, hands on his hips.

Javier looked to his partner incredulously, “Me? I don’t even know why she’s mad at me!” he defended.

Steve just shrugged and grabbed his jacket from his chair and walk towards the door, “Well go talk to her or something,” he suggested, “figure out why she’s upset.”

and then he was gone, leaving Javier alone with his thoughts as he too left the Embassy to figure out what had happened.

He tried to think over every single interaction you all had as he walked up the stairs of his apartment building to your apartment, which was directly above his. He stood in front of your door, hesitating momentarily before knocking three times on the wood. He heard shuffling around before a faint ‘Just a minute!’ was called out. Then the door was swung open, and your face seemed to fall into a scowl the minute you laid eyes on him. You had one hand on the door and one hand balled into a fist at your side.

“What do you want Javier?” you bite.

Javier feels himself bristle at your cold and dismissive tone and he crosses his arms, “I want to know what your fucking problem is,” he deadpans.

You let out a humorless laugh, “You want to know what my problem is?” you ask rhetorically, “My problem is you Javier, you’re a selfish asshole!” you exclaim.

Before you can stop him Javier is slipping past you and into your apartment, not wanting to have this conversation out in the middle of the hallway.

“I’m the asshole? You were the one treating me like shit all day at work, even though I didn’t do anything wrong.” He argued.

You closed the door to your apartment and turned on him, fire burning in your eyes, “You didn’t do anything wrong?” you almost screamed, “I heard you last night Javier, I heard you and our informant loud and clear.”

Javier’s moth dropped open forming an ‘oh’ shape as if he ad just realized what you meant. But then a look of confusion came over his face and he crossed his arms once again.

“So what?”

Those two words, two simple words and his dismissive tone, extinguished the fire running through your veins and replaced it with lead. Your heart fell to your stomach and a lump formed in your throat as your hands came to cross over your stomach, retracting into yourself.

“So what?” your voice cracked as you repeated his biting words, “So what?” you whispered again.

Javier was immediately aware of your drastic change in demeanor and he felt his heart constrict.

You looked up at him through the tears collecting in your eyes, “Did what he have not mean anything to you?” you ask desperately, “I mean I know that-“ you paused, not sure if you wanted to crack open this surely rotten egg, “I know that you aren’t the ‘settling down’ type but I thought that maybe-“

“Maybe what?” Javier asked, anger bubbling up to hide his insecurities and fear at what you were insinuating.

You quickly wiped a tear away that had slipped from your eyes and you refused to look at him, “I though that maybe you felt something for me,” you whimpered, “because I know I feel something for you,” you admitted, “something more than just sex.”

You heard Javier scoff, and that was the final blow that ripped your heart in half and you hugged yourself tighter as he stepped closer to you, almost nose to nose.

“It was just sex, (Y/N). Nothing more than a good fuck to release the pent up frustration that comes with the job,” he seethes.

He has to grind the lies out past his teeth. the only thing he wants to do is pull you in close and hold you and tell you that he felt the same way. He truly did feel something for you, but the idea of being in any kind of committed relationship terrified him. It played on his insecurities of if he was good enough for you or if this life was safe enough to even have a relationship. Yes he did feel a lot more for you than just physical attraction, which is precisely why he chose to sleep with the informant on your case. To not only get information as usual, but also to try and shove the thoughts of you from his mind. Yet, as he was there with the informant, the only thing he could think of was you beneath him, and that’s when he realized he was royally fucked over by his emotions and feelings for you.

But he held fast in his resolve to push you away. If he pushed you away he couldn’t hurt you anymore than what he already had right? That’s what he tried to tell himself as he took in the sight if you almost physically crumbling apart in front of him.

You shook your head as more tears fell and you were basically sobbing now, “I don’t believe you,” you cried, your fists balling up and hitting him roughly on the chest, “You’re lying, you are lying to me and I know it!” your breaths are ragged now, hiccups interrupting your words as you pound weakly at the chest of the man who stole your heart.

He finally clasped his hands around your wrists to stop your pathetic attack and pushed you away from him slightly, cringing at how much it emotionally pained him to do so.

“I’m not, and you need to accept that what we had was nothing more than a physical relationship,” he said, a certain finality in his words.

You felt stupid, you felt ashamed that the man you loved was looking at you like you were nothing, but you could see the guarded look in his eyes. A look that showed he had put up many, many walls to protect himself and others around him. You furiously wiped away the tears that wouldn’t seem to stop falling and walked swiftly over to your door, ripping it open and looking at the floor beneath you.

“Then get. Out.” The words come out bitter and clipped, yet your voice was still wet with tears.

Javier felt his composure falter slightly at this command and he felt frozen in place. He couldn’t even open his mouth to speak. So you, feeling anger and heartbreak overwhelm you, marched over to him and grabbed his arm, dragging him to the door.

“GET OUT! Get out of my fucking house Javier!” you shove him roughly out the door and you see him turn to you before you fully retreat back into the safety of your apartment.

“(Y/N), wait-“

“No. I hate you Javier. I will continue to work with you until we catch this son of a bitch, but don’t ever show your face here again. Now leave.”

The anger in your voice along with the resounding slam of the door in his face left Javier speechless on your doorstep. He felt his own heart break at the words you threw at him, but he knew he deserved them. He deserved ever single word. The quiet opening and closing of a door next to your apartment cause Javier to take his gaze from your apartment number to the source of the sound, and he saw Steve leaning against the wall a few feet away, giving him a disapproving look.

“What Murphy? If you’re gonna lecture me or something or tell me how horrible of a person I am then save it,” he sneered at his partner, “I’m well aware.”

Steve didn’t say anything, he just walked over to the dejected and lost looking Javier and squeezed his shoulder lightly, before walking down the stairs and out of the apartment complex. Javier looked after his partner, then back to your still closed door, painfully aware of the quiet sobs still coming from inside, before he followed suit. Leaving two broken souls in the middle of the hallway.

////

Permanent Tags: @lord-wolfgen @petalduck

Pedro Tags: @fleurdemiel145

#javier peña #Javier pena x reader #narcos #narcos x reader #steve murphy

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deans-baby-momma · 4 years ago

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The Padackles Link-Chapter 101

A/N: Apparently this has been sitting in my WIPS for months and I forgot about it. Oops!!!

Later as I climb into bed, Jensen is already under the covers. He turns to me and asks, "Did it ever even cross your mind that you had a claim to the baby?"

"Truthfully Jay, until Gen asked me, I never even realized it was a possibility. I have been so happy to be able to do this for them, it never dawned on me that this kid isn't Gen's. In my heart, I am still carrying her child.

"You know she asked me if I thought I'd want to keep it and honestly, that floored me. I don't know why I never thought about it; that Jared and I made a baby together."

"Well now that you have," Jensen asks as he pulls me into his arms, my head on his shoulder. "Do you think you'll change your mind and want to raise it yourself? With Jared, I mean."

"Absolutely not," I state. "Not that I don't love it...him...her….whatever gender it is because I do. I love it just like I love Tom and Shep. This is not my child, though"

I am getting sick of repeating myself but I want each of them to know, without a doubt, that for me nothing has changed and nothing will change. As soon as the baby in my womb is born, he or she will be given to the Padalecki's.

"You know," I say, changing the subject a bit. "I'm glad we worked everything out. I don't want to lose them as friends and although I'm growing and nurturing their offspring, it would have really sucked to not to get to see them grow."

"Yea," Jay says, kissing the top of my head. "I'm glad it all worked out too. We are one big, happy family. The Acklelecki's? The Padackles?"

I laugh as I look up at him. "What about Murphy, huh? Where's that come in at?"

"Baby, as soon as I can, I'm making you an Ackles. You should already be one, you practically are anyway."

Jensen sits up against the headboard and pulls me with him. My laughter dies down and I raise my head to look at him. Is he serious? Is this for real?

"This wasn't how I was planning to do this. Hell, I haven't even picked the ring up yet. But Audrea Murphy, I love you so fucking much and I can’t picture my life without you. I don't want to. Will you marry me?"

JARED’S POV

It had never occurred to me that my wife was frightened that she would be losing the baby if Drea had decided to keep it. That thought never even crossed my mind. I just assumed that the plan for Drea to carry our child and give birth to a baby that would be ours, mine and Gen’s, was still just that.

When Drea become pregnant I realized then that we fucked up when it dawned on me that I put a baby in her, not some doctor using a turkey baster and Gen’s fertilized eggs. I immediately went to talk to Jay about it as I felt as if I needed to apologize.

Fortunately, Jay was more understanding than I gave him credit for and didn’t hold any grudges against me and we talked it out. He was also under the assumption that all would go according to plan; that Drea would carry the baby and then give it to me and Gen after he or she was born.

Apparently, I also needed to convey that same sentiment to my wife and I dropped the ball on that. Big time! Gen had ultimately figured out on her own that she has no claim to the kid and let her emotions and imagination run rampant until she became terrified that she was losing not only the baby we worked so hard to get but she would be losing me too.

Which is the farthest thing from the truth! I love my wife and I love my kids, all three of them. So what if one of them came from another woman; it didn’t diminish my love and devotion to the woman I vowed to spend the rest of my life with.

Once all that was settled and Gen finally gets the answer she has been praying for; Drea isn’t keeping the baby once it's born we all relax. Until Jensen brings up the other aspect of our relationship. Sex. With all of us.

Listening to him talk about how everything was fine when it was the four of us in bed together and then when we decided to pair off and how it all went to shit after that, I couldn’t agree more.

But does that mean, it’s over? We just go back to what it was before Gen and I asked Drea to be a surrogate?

We all agree that maybe we should just keep it to a group thing but then Drea brings up the time when Jay and I are away. I know she is pregnant now and her hormones are going to be going wacky so when she asks about her and Gen having some fun, just the two of them I have no problem with it at all.

Jay doesn’t either as he says so and then suggests they record their ‘girltime’ so he and I can at least watch. I shake my head as he wiggles his eyebrows and we laugh at him.

In our room later that night, I lay in bed as Gen finishes up her nightly routine. While she was showering, I loosened and removed the restraints on our bed. I had plans for my wife and it did not involve her dominatrix aspect. I wanted something special, something personal. I wanted to make love to my beautiful and loving wife.

My wife is petite but don't let that fool you. She is dynamite. Those who underestimate her quickly find out just how tough she is; that she is a take no prisoners type. If she wants something, she will do whatever it takes to achieve it. That is what attracted me, her can do, will do attitude. She is the glue that holds everything together.

As I lie in bed and wait for her to join me, I think back to the first day on set when she joined the cast of Supernatural. I remember thinking that this dainty, little person was going to reject and oppose the idea that her first scene on screen she'd be in her underwear but much to my surprise, and everyone else's, she stripped right down and blazed through the performance like it was nothing. I knew then and there that Genevieve Cortese was a force to be reckoned with.

That is why when Gen brought to our attention her apprehension about Drea wanting to keep the baby, it took me by surprise. She had never shown her fears before. Honestly, I hadn’t even considered the possibility that Drea could want to keep the baby for herself. I had been so wrapped up in the knowledge that I am having another kid that it never dawned on me; I am having another kid with someone who isn’t my wife. With someone who is not Gen.

I am having a baby with Drea, Jensen’s girlfriend. How fucked up is that?!

When Gen comes out of the bathroom with just a towel around her body, my dick twitches. It is already semi-hard just from the ideas and thoughts of making love to this amazing beautiful woman.

Gen smiles at me and drops the towel before reaching down for her underclothes. I reach out and grab her arm, stopping her. She looks up at me questioningly.

“Lay back on the bed,” I tell her softly. The smile on her face says it all. She now realizes that she still has me, that she still turns me on. Hell, not wanting her is the furthest thing from the truth.

I watch as my smoking hot wife climbs onto the bed and crawls to the middle of it, laying back with her head on the pillows. Her body is totally nude in front of me and my dick springs to life.

“You are so beautiful baby,” I whisper as I pull my boxers down over my erection and let them fall to the floor. “So sexy. And all mine!” I growl.

She smiles that dazzling smile of hers and I hurriedly join her on the bed, claiming her lips in a searing kiss.

I spent the rest of the night showing Genevieve just how much I love her, want her and worship her by bringing her immeasurable pleasure.

@lostinaseaoffictionalbliss @spnbaby-67 @tftumblin @sea040561 @delightfullykrispypeach @larajadeschmidt13 @atc74 @vicariouslythruspn @squirrelnotsam @death-unbecomes-you @sandlee44 @blacktithe7 @hoboal87 @mogaruke @carryonmywaywardcaptain @darlingpeanut @sunskittlex @pretty-fortune @internationalmusicteacher @kricketc29 @natura1phenomenon @mannls @nickie-amore @spn-tw-37 @frozenhuntress67 @supernaturallymarvellous @thetardishasaquidditchpitch @sirod-30 @heyitscam99 @smoothdogsgirl @i-just-wanna-run-hell @paintballkid711 @closetspngirl @starfirerules @vickiq9761 @rainflowermoon @drakelover78 @jessieray98 @81mysteriouslyme @travelingriversideblues-x @akshi8278 @keymology @topthis808 @lilulo-12 @onethirstyunicorn @i-love-superhero @markofdean79 @thevelvetseries @deanmonandnegansbitch @midsummereve1993

#the padackles link #Jensen Ackles #Jared Padalecki #drea murphy #Genevieve Padalecki

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travllingbunny · 4 years ago

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The 100 rewatch: 5x02 Red Queen

Note: I’m afraid that I’ll have to delay my review of 7x12 The Stranger a bit longer - maybe till Friday (because I’m busy with work, and I think that one may take a bit more time to finish), but in the meantime, here’s - finally - a continuation of my season 5 rewatch reviews. It happens to be the only seasons I haven’t covered yet - except for 5x01 Eden, which I rewatched a few months ago after 7x02 The Garden, because I wanted to compare the two. I was planned to do Red Queen right afterwards - it’s interesting to compare and contrast Octavia’s character transformations in season 5 and season 7 - but it didn’t pan out that way. But now, @jeanie205 and me have started another joint rewatch during the hiatus, this one of season 5. (She only saw it live, week to week, and hasn’t rewatched it yet, I binged it and this is my second rewatch.)

...............................

I’ve always thought of season 5 as a season with a really strong beginning - the first 3 or 4 episodes are fantastic - which drags a bit in the middle before ending a very strong two-part finale.. The 6-year jump, in terms of storytelling, had both good and bad results. These two opening episodes, Eden and Red Queen, really make the best out of the time jump, with flashbacks about Clarke surviving on her own on a desolated Earth and meeting Madi, and flashbacks of what happened to Wonkru in the bunker. It says a lot that we got half an episode of Clarke surviving on Earth, a full episode plus a bunch of flashbacks in 5x11 about the bunker... and nothing about the Ring (till that one flashback in season 7). It’s because the life on the Ring was so boring and uneventful that the show didn't care to show anything of those 6 years. Clarke’s peaceful life with Madi in Eden also happened off-screen - we only saw their first meeting and their later relationship in the present - but Clarke’s two months of terrible hardship got covered in amazing 20 minutes. But the bunker is where things were the most intense.

If the Ring seems to be just boring everyday life of 7 people who can’t go anywhere for 6 years, and if Clarke got to live in Eden (paradise) with Madi after the purgatory of 40 50+ days in the desert, the bunker is clearly Hell. It is a claustrophobic underground world full of anger, conflict and violence that certainly looks like Hell by the end of the episode.

The last scene, with its horror imagery, reminded me of the current Sanctum storyline in season 7 (both Blodreina and Sheidheda like using skulls as decoration), and the comparison shows exactly why the bunker/Blodreina story worked so well, and why the S7 Sanctum story does not. It’s all about moral ambiguity and keeping the audience on its toes, pulling the rug from under us by making us unsure how to feel about characters and their actions, which Red Queen does so well (and which S7 Sanctum storyline completely fails to do, being very predictable and black and white). Red Queen is so well done and intense that I don’t even mind that Clarke and Bellamy and some of my other favorites aren’t in it.

Timeline: The episode starts 42 days after Praimfaya and ends 46 days after Praimfaya.

The opening scenes take place at the same time when Clarke arrived in Polis and tried to open the door. Clarke's only listed as appearing in this episode because of this repeated scene from Eden. (It’s weird that apparently not just the Temple, but the Tower also apparently fell on the entrance. The Tower is next to the Temple, but I’m not sure if that would really happen?) I’m not sure what exactly caused the rubble to fall down, but this is the moment where everyone loses hope, since they know they probably can’t get out, even though they have 5 years to try to think of the solution.

Niylah has found a bunch of books and some other stuff in the bunker, and one of the books was Ovid’s Metamorphoses, which we now know was Callie Cadogan’s book. (That was a nice Easter Egg in 7x08.) Niylah knows Bellamy used to read to Octavia about Ancient Rome - she must have heard it from her or from Clarke or someone else in Arkadia over the last month or so that she spent with them. It is still surprising she knows about Ovid, specifically. What she doesn’t know when she gives Octavia the book is how symbolic it is of what happens to Octavia throughout this episode - her metamorphosis into Blodreina. (We even see the opening line on screen: “ I intend to speak of forms changed into new entities..”).

Octavia Blake is a character who has undergone more dramatic transformations than any other character on The 100. I wasn’t a big fan of her in some of the early seasons, but now I think that, after what the show has done with her since season 4, she has probably had the best character arc of any character on the show. (Some would say it’s Murphy, but that’s because people like to think of character development as going from bad to good, a positive progression - which is a lot more predictable and done quite often. What the show did with Octavia is much more complex and unexpected.) Her turn to the dark side and subsequent redemption were really well done, and Marie Avgeropoulos is one of the best actors on the show (I’ve always thought so regardless of how I felt about her character at any given time) and pulled off her changes in season 5 so well.

What the episode does really well is maintain ambiguity about Octavia’s development as a leader. The first time you watch it, it’s not clear what is she developing into. Is this a story about a well-meaning but still inexperienced teenage girl becoming a great leader? Well, the cliffhanger of 5x01 showed the fighting pits and the new scary Blodreina look, so it’s already hinted it’s not quite like that. But the episode still makes you root for Octavia, who’s up against not just the difficult circumstances - trapped in the bunker, limited resources - but also tribalism of Skaikru and 11 Grounder clans and a lot short-sighted people who hate and keep fighting each other. You just can’t not root for her when she starts forcing them to obey, near the end of the episode (and it’ certainly comes off as a very badass scene - if a bit unrealistic, since Octavia has only been training in Grounder-style combat for about 7-8 months at that point) - but then things may start getting a little ominous as she repeats the mantra “You are Wonkru, or you are the enemy of Wonkru. Choose!” (“You’re either with us, or against us” statements by political leaders are always worrying), even before the ending, where both Octavia and the bunker look like something out of a horror movie. This entire storyline made the point that unity can’t be forced on people, especially not by a single all-powerful leader, without turning into tyranny and oppression.

What’s also morally ambiguous is advice from the mortally wounded Jaha, which ends up influencing Octavia’s decisions and development as a leader. Jaha was always one of the most morally grey characters - he’s not evil, always had good intentions, but his ruthlessness and willingness to disregard individual lives in the name of the Big Picture of saving “his (collective) people” and his complete confidence that this is the right leadership style, were always very disturbing, and made him the villain in the eyes of - and the lives of - all the young protagonists of the show. In season 4, some of them started seeing his perspective. faced with the similar difficult choices. After Clarke in season 4, Octavia also starts seeing his perspective - which is particularly disturbing because it is the same man who executed her mother for just having a child, and locked her up for a year as a criminal just for being born. But Jaha’s actions in Red Queen are some of his most heroic ever in the show, and he gets a heroic death and a moving death scene... while still being kind of a real d1ck, someone who justifies Aurora’s execution to Octavia by saying her mother made herself “the enemy” and bringing them “closer to death”. In the context, Jaha as an unexpected mentor to Octavia can be seen as something good or at least a necessary for her to develop into a capable leader... Or is it? The line between hero and villain can be very thin. Sure, it helps Octavia resolve the situation, save hundreds of people in the bunker, and apparently unite everyone into Wonkru - but as we see by the end of the episode and the rest of the season, it also ends up making her a tyrant who ends up getting hundreds of her people killed in the name of saving “her people” and delivering them to paradise as a messiah. She becomes the same thing she hated, an oppressor like those who forced her to hide under the floor and killed her mother.

(This dialogue from season 4 is pretty relevant here:

Clarke: You know, he used to be everything that I hated. Maybe he was keeping us together.

Jasper: When Jaha's looking reasonable, it's time to reassess.)

I have to say, however, in spite of all the moral greyness... I can’t stand Kara Cooper. She’s one of the few characters on the show that just piss me off to no end and I can’t find any sympathy for her. I know that it’s different for others, I’ve seen people say they see her perspective, and yes, the show gives her a tragic backstory (losing her father in the Culling on the Ark and her husband in the Second Culling in 4x12)... but this time I can’t bring myself to care, because:

She wants to leave some 1100+ people to die, even though she should be well aware that, even if there is a problem of overpopulation in the bunker*, she really doesn’t have to kill that many people,

She’s a scientist and gives a speech about how the lack of diversity would lead to a massive die-off for plants... Surely she should know that the same would happen to the humans, and that a human race can’t survive with just around 80 people?! which leads me to

She doesn’t care about the survival of the human race and is ready to condemn it to extinction, just so she and a few others would live more comfortably and wouldn’t be in danger of immediate death,

She says she wants to save “her people” - but it’s all about tribalism (Skaikru or not Skaikru?) and not love, and she is a hypocrite, because she is ready to leave a bunch of Skaikru outside the door to die, too,

She is a hypocrite when she acts like Abby did something terrible by opening the bunker door to save Kane (which also saved hundreds of people more than would have otherwise been saved) - basically, she’s like “ Abby, how dare you not prioritize my husband, a guy you didn't even know, over your boyfriend? You're so terrible!" Sure. That makes sense.

Her arguments about why the bunker “belongs” to Skaikru are rubbish: “ "Jaha found it. It belonged to us" - even if we accept the finders-keepers idea, actually, multiple people helped find the bunker. Yes, Jaha was the driving force, but Bellamy found the coin, and Kane, Monty and Gaia all massively contributed to finding it - without Gaia's info they wouldn't have ever found it - as did Indra, and the fighters from Trikru and their allies who guarded the temple so they could do it. She just ignored all these facts. If they had kept the bunker in 4x11, they would have left most of these people out (including Kane and Monty). Oh, and she is now trying to take the bunker back... and she’s ready to leave Jaha himself outside!

And after all of that, she saves her own skin by being the most ruthless one of everyone Octavia sent to the fighting pit and killing them all - and then becomes Octavia’s right hand and sycophant. What integrity!

While many people seem to think that Octavia’s downfall started with the cannibalism during the Dark Year, I think it’s the decision at the end of Red Queen to open the fighting pits and start punishing every crime by throwing people in them. This is her first really bad decision. In practice, this form of “justice” means that you can commit any crime you want if you're good at killing people once you’re in the pit. it fosters a culture of violence - even more so when death matches are entertainment. So, in the end, the guy from Delphi clan who just stole blankets (the Sangedakru delegate Brell demanded death for that - their laws are pretty draconian, makes me wonder in retrospect if Sheidheda was the one who first imposed them) died, while Kara effing Cooper got to live because she was the most ruthless person there. What I think Octavia should have done is - she should have executed the murderers and the leaders of the rebellion and given minor punishments to people who did things like steal blankets. (it's been argued they needed Cooper for the farm - but that was not the reasoning, Octavia left her with everyone else to fight.)

This was Octavia, sadly, combining not the best, but the worst of the Ark system (death as the punishment for every crime or minor misdemeanor), Grounder tradition (death matches as the solution to everything) and her childhood stories of the Ancient Rome. If you're using Ancient Rome gladiator fights as your role model...you've probably stopped being a good guy.

The last scene, fighting pits 6 years later, is similar to the cliffhanger end of the previous episode, only now we get the cliffhanger of Kane being one of the fighters. Octavia is in her full Blodreina mode now. Not just her outward look has changed, but her facial expressions, too - this is the first time we see that cold, sinister Blodreina smile. Indra doesn’t look too happy, Gaia and Ethan are there. Miller- even after that much time - doesn’t look too happy with Cooper being there, by Octavia's side.

This is straight up horror imagery. There is even some sort of structure made of skulls next to where she's sitting! Not exactly a throne of skulls like Sheidheda has in season 7 but something similar.

But here’s why this works so differently than Sheidheda and his throne of skulls in season 7 and why people are bored by the latter. There is no ambiguity in the S7 Sanctum story. Sheiheda is completely, cartoonishly evil, there is nothing complex about it, Murphy is now definitely a good guy, as are Emori and Indra, and none of them are in conflict about how to deal with him (except for a short moment in 7x09, which was OOC for Indra). The only characters that we may still wonder 'what are they gonna do? which side will they take?" are minor, underdeveloped characters like Nikki, or Knight (you're in trouble when your main question is "will Knight change sides?"). It's a very simple black and white story, the kind t100 normally doesn't do and Shady’s throne of . But when Octavia has her face painted in blood, has skulls next to her, and a creepy smile while she’s deciding the fate of the winner, that is genuinely disturbing because it's Octavia. You’ve followed her for seasons, and you’ve spent the whole episode rooting for her to solve the problems and deal with those really awful and annoying people... and then she does, and oh my god, suddenly she turns into a villain, and that’s chilling.

Other observations:

I love the Kabby scene where they're talking while chained up in the farm, while a guy is playing guitar in the background. I think Abby was pretty unfair to Kane when she said he took away her choice to kill herself - because she didn’t try to kill herself, she tried to make Kane kill her, and then she expected him to be able to do it, even though she never could: not only did she open the bunker door to save Kane, she destroyed the radiation chamber (possibly dooming thousands of people) because she couldn’t allow Clarke to risk her life (in 4x08). Kane may be more of a “Head” than “Heart” of the two of them, but Abby should have realized he wouldn’t be able to carry her unconscious body (or even let someone else do it) and let her die of radiation. He loves her and he doesn’t really have anyone else. Abby really seemed to be taking out her own self-loathing out on him. It was still a sweet moment when he finally dropped the pretense that he saved her for being a doctor and admitted it was a Heart decision, and she finally admitted she would do the same and never regretted opening the bunker door to save him.

But we get a hint about that Abby has already developed a pill addiction, which will strain and almost destroy their relationship. Kabby was a really well written relationship - we saw them falling in love over 4 seasons (which rarely happens with romantic relationships on this show) - but then we also saw that being together and loving each other is not enough to be “happy ever after”, not when you live in f*cked up circumstances and when you both have to deal with all sorts of problems. Love can’t conquer everything, which is more realistic way to depict romance.

Mackson actually have some screentime in this episode. This is actually the first time we see that they are together (after a brief flirting scene in season 4). I had forgotten that Miller says the L word in this episode: "You're a healer, nor a fighter. That's why I love you.” I thought “This was pretty fast” - but when you take into account they’ve been together for a couple of months, it’s actually not that fast compared to most of the romances on the show... It’ just that most of their relationships happens off-screen.

So Level C (which Cooper and her people took over) was where Cadogan planned to be with his family if the rest of the bunker goes to hell. Makes sense he’d do something like that.

Indra was already not a fan of the Commanders at this point, telling Gaia: "Your real Commanders would have left you to burn", "the spirits of the Commanders have abandoned us"

We got two Wells mentions in this episode! One when Jaha was reading a children’s book (apparently The Giving Tree - thanks @jeanie205) to Ethan, and says it was his son's favorite bedtime story, and another one when Jaha is dying and says “Take me to my wife. Take me to Wells”.

ALIE would be proud of these people: they all keep repeating “There are too many people in this bunker” throughout the episode. Thanos would be proud of them, too. Why not instead say: “There aren’t enough resources in this bunker”? No worries then, they will manage to get 1/3 of those people killed - 814 will remain instead of 1200 by the time they get out of the bunker... What few characters in the show ever seem to realize are too few people for the human race to survive. That is, if they weren't lucky to always be running into more humans, and then everyone blows it away by killing each other, again.

A few lines in this episode feel like dark foreshadowing:

Abby makes the first mention of cannibalism, a dark period in Ark’s history called the “Blight"

"It won't be that easy", says Octavia to Cooper when Cooper wanted to kill herself. One could say the same when Octavia tried to sacrifice herself and die in 5x12

"I'll take care of the boy” - Octavia promises to Jaha to take care of little Ethan, just as Jaha promised to Ethan’s father. That didn't turn out so well in the end...

Rating: 9/10

#the 100 #the 100 rewatch #the 100 5x02 #red queen #the 100 season 5 #octavia blake #blodreina #thelonius jaha #marcus kane #abby griffin #kabby #anti kara cooper #indra kom trikru #indra #wonkru #mackson #nate miller

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zo2paintedlady · 4 years ago

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LGBTQ+ Novels/Memoirs

Here is the book list from my LIS 618 class. The links will bring you to their Goodreads pages.

The 57 Bus by Dashka Slater (2017) *based on a true story* "One teenager in a skirt. One teenager with a lighter. One moment that changes both of their lives forever. If it weren't for the 57 bus, Sasha and Richard never would have met. Both were high school students from Oakland, California, one of the most diverse cities in the country, but they inhabited different worlds. Sasha, a white teen, lived in the middle-class foothills and attended a small private school. Richard, a black teen, lived in the crime-plagued flatlands and attended a large public one. Each day, their paths overlapped for a mere eight minutes. But one afternoon on the bus ride home from school, a single reckless act left Sasha severely burned, and Richard charged with two hate crimes and facing life imprisonment. The case garnered international attention, thrusting both teenagers into the spotlight."

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Saenz (2012) "Aristotle is an angry teen with a brother in prison. Dante is a know-it-all who has an unusual way of looking at the world. When the two meet at the swimming pool, they seem to have nothing in common. But as the loners start spending time together, they discover that they share a special friendship--the kind that changes lives and lasts a lifetime. And it is through this friendship that Ari and Dante will learn the most important truths about themselves and the kind of people they want to be."

The Art of Being Normal by Lisa Williamson (2016) "Two boys. Two secrets. David Piper has always been an outsider. His parents think he’s gay. The school bully thinks he’s a freak. Only his two best friends know the real truth – David wants to be a girl. On the first day at his new school Leo Denton has one goal – to be invisible. Attracting the attention of the most beautiful girl in year eleven is definitely not part of that plan. When Leo stands up for David in a fight, an unlikely friendship forms. But things are about to get messy. Because at Eden Park School secrets have a funny habit of not staying secret for long…"

Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender (2020) "Felix Love has never been in love—and, yes, he’s painfully aware of the irony. He desperately wants to know what it’s like and why it seems so easy for everyone but him to find someone. What’s worse is that, even though he is proud of his identity, Felix also secretly fears that he’s one marginalization too many—Black, queer, and transgender—to ever get his own happily-ever-after. When an anonymous student begins sending him transphobic messages—after publicly posting Felix’s deadname alongside images of him before he transitioned—Felix comes up with a plan for revenge. What he didn’t count on: his catfish scenario landing him in a quasi–love triangle...."

Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe (2019) "In 2014, Maia Kobabe, who uses e/em/eir pronouns, thought that a comic of reading statistics would be the last autobiographical comic e would ever write. At the time, it was the only thing e felt comfortable with strangers knowing about em. Now, Gender Queer is here. Maia's intensely cathartic autobiography charts eir journey of self-identity, which includes the mortification and confusion of adolescent crushes, grappling with how to come out to family and society, bonding with friends over erotic gay fanfiction, and facing the trauma of pap smears. Started as a way to explain to eir family what it means to be nonbinary and asexual, Gender Queer is more than a personal story: it is a useful and touching guide on gender identity--what it means and how to think about it--for advocates, friends, and humans everywhere."

I Wish You All the Best by Mason Deaver (2019) "When Ben De Backer comes out to their parents as nonbinary, they're thrown out of their house and forced to move in with their estranged older sister, Hannah, and her husband, Thomas, whom Ben has never even met. Struggling with an anxiety disorder compounded by their parents' rejection, they come out only to Hannah, Thomas, and their therapist and try to keep a low profile in a new school. But Ben's attempts to survive the last half of senior year unnoticed are thwarted when Nathan Allan, a funny and charismatic student, decides to take Ben under his wing. As Ben and Nathan's friendship grows, their feelings for each other begin to change, and what started as a disastrous turn of events looks like it might just be a chance to start a happier new life."

Little & Lion by Brandy Colbert (2017) "When Suzette comes home to Los Angeles from her boarding school in New England, she isn't sure if she'll ever want to go back. L.A. is where her friends and family are (along with her crush, Emil). And her stepbrother, Lionel, who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, needs her emotional support. But as she settles into her old life, Suzette finds herself falling for someone new...the same girl her brother is in love with. When Lionel's disorder spirals out of control, Suzette is forced to confront her past mistakes and find a way to help her brother before he hurts himself--or worse."

The Music of What Happens by Bill Konigsberg (2019) "IMax: Chill. Sports. Video games. Gay and not a big deal, not to him, not to his mom, not to his buddies. And a secret: An encounter with an older kid that makes it hard to breathe, one that he doesn't want to think about, ever. Jordan: The opposite of chill. Poetry. His "wives" and the Chandler Mall. Never been kissed and searching for Mr. Right, who probably won't like him anyway. And a secret: A spiraling out of control mother, and the knowledge that he's the only one who can keep the family from falling apart. Throw in a rickety, 1980s-era food truck called Coq Au Vinny. Add in prickly pears, cloud eggs, and a murky idea of what's considered locally sourced and organic. Place it all in Mesa, Arizona, in June, where the temp regularly hits 114. And top it off with a touch of undeniable chemistry between utter opposites."

Odd One Out by Nic Stone (2018) "Courtney "Coop" Cooper Dumped. Again. And normally I wouldn't mind. But right now, my best friend and source of solace, Jupiter Sanchez, is ignoring me to text some girl. Rae Evelyn Chin I assumed "new girl" would be synonymous with "pariah," but Jupiter and Courtney make me feel like I'm right where I belong. I also want to kiss him. And her. Which is . . . perplexing. Jupiter Charity-Sanchez The only thing worse than losing the girl you love to a boy is losing her to your boy. That means losing him, too. I have to make a move. . . . One story. Three sides. No easy answers."

Ramona Blue by Julie Murphy (2017) "'Ramona was only five years old when Hurricane Katrina changed her life forever. Since then, it’s been Ramona and her family against the world. Standing over six feet tall with unmistakable blue hair, Ramona is sure of three things: she likes girls, she’s fiercely devoted to her family, and she knows she’s destined for something bigger than the trailer she calls home in Eulogy, Mississippi. But juggling multiple jobs, her flaky mom, and her well-meaning but ineffectual dad forces her to be the adult of the family. Now, with her sister, Hattie, pregnant, responsibility weighs more heavily than ever."

Rethinking Normal by Katie Rain Hill (2014) "Have you ever worried that you'd never be able to live up to your parents' expectations? Have you ever imagined that life would be better if you were just invisible? Have you ever thought you would do anything--anything--to make the teasing stop? Katie Hill had and it nearly tore her apart. Katie never felt comfortable in her own skin. She realized very young that a serious mistake had been made; she was a girl who had been born in the body of a boy. Suffocating under her peers' bullying and the mounting pressure to be "normal," Katie tried to take her life at the age of eight years old. After several other failed attempts, she finally understood that "Katie"--the girl trapped within her--was determined to live."

They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera (2017) "On September 5, a little after midnight, Death-Cast calls Mateo Torrez and Rufus Emeterio to give them some bad news: They’re going to die today. Mateo and Rufus are total strangers, but, for different reasons, they’re both looking to make a new friend on their End Day. The good news: There’s an app for that. It’s called the Last Friend, and through it, Rufus and Mateo are about to meet up for one last great adventure—to live a lifetime in a single day."

Two Boys Kissing by David Levithan (2013) "New York Times bestselling author David Levithan tells the based-on-true-events story of Harry and Craig, two 17-year-olds who are about to take part in a 32-hour marathon of kissing to set a new Guinness World Record—all of which is narrated by a Greek Chorus of the generation of gay men lost to AIDS. While the two increasingly dehydrated and sleep-deprived boys are locking lips, they become a focal point in the lives of other teen boys dealing with languishing long-term relationships, coming out, navigating gender identity, and falling deeper into the digital rabbit hole of gay hookup sites—all while the kissing former couple tries to figure out their own feelings for each other."

We are the Ants by Shaun David Hutchinson (2016) "Henry Denton has spent years being periodically abducted by aliens. Then the aliens give him an ultimatum: The world will end in 144 days, and all Henry has to do to stop it is push a big red button. Only he isn’t sure he wants to. After all, life hasn’t been great for Henry. His mom is a struggling waitress held together by a thin layer of cigarette smoke. His brother is a jobless dropout who just knocked someone up. His grandmother is slowly losing herself to Alzheimer’s. And Henry is still dealing with the grief of his boyfriend’s suicide last year. Wiping the slate clean sounds like a pretty good choice to him. But Henry is a scientist first, and facing the question thoroughly and logically, he begins to look for pros and cons: in the bully who is his perpetual one-night stand, in the best friend who betrayed him, in the brilliant and mysterious boy who walked into the wrong class. Weighing the pain and the joy that surrounds him, Henry is left with the ultimate choice: push the button and save the planet and everyone on it…or let the world—and his pain—be destroyed forever."

You Should See Me in a Crown by Leah Johnson (2020) "Liz Lighty has always believed she's too black, too poor, too awkward to shine in her small, rich, prom-obsessed midwestern town. But it's okay -- Liz has a plan that will get her out of Campbell, Indiana, forever: attend the uber-elite Pennington College, play in their world-famous orchestra, and become a doctor. But when the financial aid she was counting on unexpectedly falls through, Liz's plans come crashing down . . . until she's reminded of her school's scholarship for prom king and queen. There's nothing Liz wants to do less than endure a gauntlet of social media trolls, catty competitors, and humiliating public events, but despite her devastating fear of the spotlight she's willing to do whatever it takes to get to Pennington. The only thing that makes it halfway bearable is the new girl in school, Mack. She's smart, funny, and just as much of an outsider as Liz. But Mack is also in the running for queen. Will falling for the competition keep Liz from her dreams . . . or make them come true?"

#lgbtq+ literature #lgbtq+ books for adolescents #lgbtq+#book list #lgbtq+ book list #novels/memoirs #ya books #lgbtq

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smokeybrandreviews · 3 years ago

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Smokey brand Select: Deck the Halls

I don’t know if you can tell by my blog, but i f*cking love Christmas. It’s my absolute favorite holiday of the year. I love t more than Thanksgiving, more than Halloween, even more than my f*cking birthday and that’s a lot because I'm kind of a f*cking narcissist. I love the festivities, the decorations, the music, the objective purity of the whole season. Christmas time is the one time of year that people decide collectively to suck less. Recently, with all of the stupid conservative boycotts and soapbox rants, that less is a little less than usually but still, it’s hard not to love the Christmas season. It’s so inspirational and has inspired some fantastic films. Here's a list of some of my favorites. A lot of these, the majority of them, probably aren’t “traditional” Christmas fare but i assure you that they are, indeed, Christmas films. To say otherwise would just be disrespectful.

10. Edward Scissorhands

Tim Burton is going to be all over this list, man. Edward Scissorhands came out during a time i was incredibly infatuated with the striking visuals of Burton. I’m an Eighties kid and he kind of had his coming out party during that decade. Almost all of those films he released back then are favorites of mine. I remember seeing Scissorhands as a young kid and being absolutely mesmerized by it’s beauty. As an adult, i appreciated the underlying messaging just as much.

9. A Christmas Story

You’ll shoot your eye out! I used to hate this movie, man. It was a staple in during my elementary school Christmas parties. I never paid attention to it because, as a kid, i hated anything that wasn’t a cartoon. One day i was sick at home and caught it offseason TNT. This thing played, like, every day for some reason. I heard it was a favorite of Ted Turner but that’s just rumor. Anyway, i watched it and completely fell in love with this earnest, absurd, flick. It’s a really good watch and deserves it’s title as a classic.

8. Home Alone

Home Alone was the very first Christmas flick i remembered actually loving for being a Christmas flick. Like, when the season starts and Mariah Carey hits the airwaves, Home Alone is what i thing about. It’s the very first film that i unequivocally associate with Santa season. It’s funny because it’s not that great a film but i still love it dearly. I think that’s more because of nostalgia, though. There are fr superior films in the honorable mentions which probably deserve this spot more but Home Alone makes me genuinely smile.

7. Die Hard

I mean, how can i not put this on the list? It’s a classic. One of the best action films ever made. One of the best performances Bruce Willis has ever given. Plus, it introduces the late, great, Alan Rickman as Hans Gruber. Now, my favorite of the lot is With a Vengeance but Die Hard would be nothing without this holly jolly first entry.

6. Scrooged

One of my favorite Christmas narratives is A Christmas Carol. Dickens was a prolific writer and, among his works, the story of Ebeneezer Scrooge’s crisis of conscious is my favorite. I almost always love it when ever it makes it to screen but, for my money, the best version of this story took the form of the Eighties classic, Scrooged. It’s so Eighties in all of the ways. I love the overall narrative, the changes made t fit it into a then modern setting, and those incredible practical effects. It’s a feast for the senses while hitting all the necessary Dickens notes. Also, this version of the Ghost of Christmas Future is a whole ass nightmare. Like, f*ck, dude!

5. Trading Places

I love this movie so much, just on it’s own merits as a film. It’s so good. Eddie Murphy is excellent in this film and Dan Akroyd is just as brilliant. Jamie Lee Curtis was incredibly hilarious, too. This was the second thing i had ever seen her in, after Halloween so, you know, going from that to this really caught my attention. Trading Places is a classic and should be seen by everyone.

4. Gremlins

Gremlins is just generally one of my favorite films. I love this f*cked up movie, man. It’s SO good and this version is the tone down one. The original vision for this movie was just an R rated murder fest. I mean, the one we got wasn’t a joke wither It’s the reason we have the PG-3 rating. SH*t is just that violent Now, juxtapose all of this little green monstrosity anarchy against a dreamy white Christmas and you have all the makings of worming your way into my heart. Honestly, i prefer the gremlin shenanigans from the sequel, Mohawk is my favorite, but Stripe definitely left an impression.

3. The Long Kiss Goodnight

I had a massive crush on Geena Davis when was young. Can’t tell you why, but i was absolutely infatuated with the chick after i saw her in The Fly remake. I followed her career afterwards. She dropped several gems along the way, Beetlejuice, Thelma and Louise, Earth Girls are Easy, A League of their Own, but my absolute favorite film of hers is definitely The Long Kiss Goodnight. This thing is peak Nineties action excess. Shane Black in his prime. Die Hard III but John McCLane is a hot ass amazon woman who can beat you to death with her mitts. It even has Sam Jackson as a smart-mouthed side kick! I love it!

2c. A Charlie Brown Christmas

I adore Charlie Brown. If Spider-Man, Godzilla, and Transformers are the foundations of my childhood, Snoopy is foundation adjacent. My Paternal grandma had all of the Peanuts films and i would watch them on repeat when we were forced to go over there. I say forced because she was kind of terrible and none of us really wanted to visit her ever but, when we did, and she wasn’t trying to exploit our labor or feed us rotten food, we did get to watch dope classic sh*t. She owned every Disney movie from the Renaissance and every Peanuts special on VHS. I hated visiting that woman but i loved those Charlie Brown adventures so kind of bittersweet memories.

2b. How the Grinch Stole Christmas

This one is associated with my other grandma, the one i actually liked. We used to sit down every year and watch this one together while sipping egg nog. Man, it’s hard for me to type this out. It breaks my heart remembering those times so I'm going to stop. I just really love How The Grinch Stole Christmas. It’s very, very, special to me.

2a. The Nutcracker

The Nutcracker is in the same situation as How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I have a lot of love for this thing, in ll forms, but the one i remember so vividly is the opera they used to show every season. My grandma really loved opera and orchestral music. I miss her.

1b. Batman Returns

I told you Burton was going to be all over this thing. Bro, how can this thing not be on the top of this list? Batman Returns left a real impression, man. Michelle Pfiefer’s Catwoman did things to me that would have reverberating effects through the rest of my life! She is, more than any other reason, why i have an unhealthy infatuation for crazy chicks. Also Nancy Downs but The Craft isn’t a Christmas movie. Outside of the way that patent leather catsuit ruined me for normal relationships, Batman Returns is just a force of f*cking nature. It’s Pure Tim Burton and i adore that man’s eye. He is one of my favorite creators and Batman is one of my favorite heroes. How can this thing not make my list? Batman Returns couldn’t take the number two spot, mostly because it jockeys for position with Nightmare pretty actively. I love them both so much, it’s hard to give the number one spot to either of them so, you know, split the difference.

1a. The Nightmare Before Christmas

This is Halloween! I remember being so hype about this movie. Nine year old Smokey was super into this film and that love carries through to this day. Every time it airs, i catch it or, at least, i used to when i had television. I saw this thing day one in theaters, made my mom buy the VHS, it was one of the very first DVDs i ever purchased with my own money, and was the third Blue ray i got after picking up my PS3. The wild thing is, it’s not just me either. Nightmare has become a pinnacle of the cultural zeitgeist. This thing is all over the place. People get tattoos of Jack. Halloween Town even made it into a few Kingdom Hearts games and it wasn’t even a Disney movie at first! It was banished to the subsidiary of Touchstone when it first released because the Mouse House didn’t believe in it! Talk about a miscalculations.

Honorable Mentions: Tokyo Godfathers, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Bad Santa, Elf, Carol, Anna and the Apocalypse

#Smokey brand Select #Christmas movies #Christmas #Tis the season #Happy Holidays

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

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Survey #446

“so you can throw me to the wolves / tomorrow i will come back, leader of the whole pack”

Favourite cheese? American. Superman or Batman? I know literally nothing of Superman, but I like Batman. Who are your best friends? The only person I consider a best friend is Sara. Name the 3 most important people in your life: My mom, Sara, and... I suppose myself since I cherish my mental health VERY deeply. Are you currently learning from anyone how to play any instruments? No. Do you know anyone who is overly flirty with people? Girl or a boy? In my personal opinion, yes. I do believe it's possible to be "overly" flirty, considering you can really lead people on. It's a she. Do you believe vampires are real? Not the stereotypical Twilight kind. No. Have you ever been to a porn website? Were you addicted to it afterword? No. I'm really not into that. What is the most disgusting thing you think the opposite sex can do? I think the most disgusting thing anyone can do is commit rape. Would you rather be able to teleport or freeze time? Which one seems best? I feel teleportation is obviously more convenient and useful in dangerous situations. Have you seen the movie Twister? Did the tornadoes look real to you? LKJFL;AKSDJFKLASJDLFKA;WE NOOOOOOOOOO. I am WAY too terrified of tornadoes to watch that. Have you actually been through a devastating natural disaster before? Hurricane Floyd was pretty devastating. I was too young to really remember it, though. Did your mom ever fix your eggs and bacon into a smiley face as a kid? She probably did. What fast food place, in your opinion, has the best french fries? BOJANGLE'S, AHHHHHHHHHHHH. Do you believe one day aliens might take over the planet Earth? I mean, it's possible, but I don't know. Do you remember when they used to actually throw candy out at parades? I didn't know they stopped. Does it bother you when people burp around you or do you do it too? I couldn't possibly care less, it's a natural bodily function. Just because of societal standards though, I don't burp in public, though, but only around family and close friends. What is one kind of music you’d do anything to not listen to in the car? Anything like rap that has a STUPIDLY loud bass that just annoys everyone within a ten mile radius. When was the last time you babysat, if ever? Did anything bad happen? A year or two ago, for my nephew. No one else was free to watch him, so I had no choice. Nothing bad happened, besides nearly having a panic attack. Do you ever talk to people you met online through webcam? Or is that weird? No. Even Sara and I don't do it, because I'm too self-conscious of how I look. Even though she's seen me plenty before irl. Would you ever consider becoming a scientist? Why would you or why not? Well, I majored in biology briefly... I wanted to be a wildlife biologist. I just adore animals and thought I could do it. I just couldn't handle school. When is the next time you’ll talk to the cousin you’re closest to? I'm not especially close to any of my cousins. Are you really into vintage things? Have you ever been into that stuff? Yessss! is writing something that you enjoy doing? Definitely. Would you rather read or write? Write. Would you rather draw or take photographs? If I wind up being very proud of the product, I prefer drawing, but I take pictures far more. When was the last time you cheated at something? I have no clue. Has anyone ever copied off of your homework assignments? I think so? Do you have any pictures of celebs saved to your computer? ... *stares at my folder labelled "Mark"* What would you consider your favorite holiday? Why is this? Christmas. I love the whole vibe of it. The weather, the smells, the treats, my niece's and nephew's excitement... I adore all the lights and decorations, the gratefulness for family and your loved ones in general... I just love Christmas. If you’re a girl, do you have big hips? Too big? I'd say my hips are normal. Girls, do you think you look good in dresses or not? God no. Not anymore. Have you ever taken a pottery class before? Nope. How many times have you seen Star Wars? Be honest. Once. I didn't like it. Has your best friend ever made you cry? Yes. But in her defense, we've both made the other cry. Have you ever entered a talent competition? God no, I ain't got shit to flaunt. Are you smiling in your Facebook profile picture? Yes. If you wear eye shadow, do you put on a dark colour or a light? And if you wear mascara, what colour is it? I only ever wear black for both of those. What is your favourite Christmas movie? Jim Carrey's How the Grinch Stole Christmas. What do you get complimented on the most? My Markiplier tattoo, actually. What do you think of your best friend’s ex? One I REALLY don't like, the other I'm neutral about. Are you biracial? No. Do you have Pop-Tarts in your house right now? No. We try to not buy them, given they're just TOTALLY empty calories. They don't fill me at all. Is anyone’s birthday coming up? No. Does/did either of your parents serve in the military? No. Do you like sour candy? I LOVE sour candy. Where would you like to go on your honeymoon? Alaska, to see the Northern Lights. Do you usually wear sunglasses when you’re driving? I haven't driven in well over a year. Hell, maybe two. But no, because I'd need prescription sunglasses. Ignoring nutrition, could you live off veggies for the rest of your life? God no. Has anyone taken their shirt off in front of you? Yeah. What time do you usually have dinner? 5:30-6:30, usually. What’s your favourite meat? Chicken, I think. What is your favourite meal of the day and why? Breakfast. I just enjoy breakfast foods. What colour is your shampoo? White. Tell me a silly little old wive’s tale you believed when you were a child: My older sister got me to believe that if you said a word a ridiculous amount of times, it'd be the only word you knew how to say anymore, lmao. Shut up, I was little. What was the last magazine you bought? Do you subscribe to any? I don't buy magazines. Whose Facebook profile did you last look at? Was there anything that caught your attention? Uh, that's a good question. Do you regret your last relationship? Not at all. What’s better, mashed potatoes or sweet potatoes? Mashed potatoes, though I'm picky with them and the texture. Did you ever used to make cookies, cakes, or pie with your grandma? No. Do you like kids? Not especially. They ask too many questions and can be really rude, even though I know they usually don't mean to be. What are you listening to? I'm watching Gab Smolders play Dino Crisis 2. I finished her playthrough of Final Fantasy X, so now I feel a void in my soul that I am trying to fill with a new series lmao. Do you burn incense? Not really anymore. I'm not against it, I just... haven't. What is your favorite kind of cracker? Cheese-Itz. Can you name a single song by Billy Joel without looking it up? Yeah; I can name a few, actually. My dad loves Billy Joel, so I heard him a lot growing up. "Piano Man" is a classic. Do you like regular peppermint candy canes, or do you prefer different flavored ones [fruits, bubble gum, cinnamon, etc.]? I actually really like the Jolly Rancher ones. Have you ever been kissed while sitting atop the hood of a car? That's actually possible... but I'm not sure. I think I have a faint memory of lying on a car hood with Jason before. What do you think is the dumbest/tackiest piercing? I don't like calling a piercing either of those, like if they make someone feel more confident and attractive, good for them. I can say I'm personally not a fan of the smiley piercing, though. Have you ever requested a song on the radio? No. When I was a kid at a birthday party, though, one of the girls did. Does your mother still take care of you if you get ill? She helps a lot, yeah. What is one song that always brings back memories every time you hear it? Honestly, too many. I attach way too aggressively to songs. Do you currently have any pimples? Not currently, no. Did anything disturb your sleep at all last night? Ugh, yes. I couldn't sleep for shit. How does it make you feel looking at pics with your ex and someone else? I have only seen one picture of Jason with the girl he dated after me and it. Set. Me. On. Fucking. Fire. It's pathetic. If you’re not in college, why? All it did was give me emotional breakdowns. What do you think about MTV? I am way too out of the loop on what goes on on any TV channel to answer this. What was your very first day of your very first job like? What’d you do? How long did it take you to get the hang of it, and feel comfortable with working? This was waaaay too long ago... All I remember is actually being hopeful, though nervous. I never got to the point of feeling comfortable there. Or at any job. If you have a dog, are they friendly to strangers or other dogs? We don't have a dog, but we do have a cat that is EXTREMELY skittish around strangers. Someone he doesn't know comes through the door? He's bolting to hide. Do people ever comment on or joke about your driving? Well, I got flipped off once by a driver, so... I'd consider that a silent comment. I, to this day, don't know why they (it was a group of guys) did it, but it's stuck with me. What was the last thing to move you? Are you easily moved or inspired? The ending of FFX alsdkfjkaljlkwjer. And yes. If you`ve ever seen your very favorite band, did you cry when you saw them? Was it like a dream come true? If you`ve never seen them, do you think you would? I haven't, but I probably would a little bit. Of all the reality competitions you’ve watched, who are some of your all-time favorite contestants and what shows were they from? From America's Got Talent, I adore(d) Landau Eugene Murphy Jr., as well as Prince Poppycock. I keep up with them both on Facebook. Ever had a friend named Alex or John? One of my closest online friends was Alex. A couple years ago she just... got a boyfriend and fell off the face of the earth. Are you happy with your relationship status? I mean... no, I'm ridiculously lonely, but being single is for the best right now. What kind of stuff do you like on your hot dogs? Just ketchup and mustard. Have you ever been in a spelling bee? No. What is the most annoying thing that your parents do? Mom absolutely always assumes she's right. Dad repeats himself like CRAZY. Would you say you’re someone who has good manners? Yes. Did you parents know what gender you were before you were born? Actually, the doctors couldn't determine mine (or any of Mom's kids') because my legs were ALWAYS crossed when they did ultrasounds. Mom says she "knew" I was a girl, though. Have you ever been addicted to something unhealthy? I'm addicted to caffeine, yes. Who makes the best desserts in your entire family? Hm, I dunno. Do you have good dreams or nightmares more? I have very severe sleep apnea that results in very violent nightmares almost any time I sleep without my APAP mask. Even WITH the damn mask, I have them a lot. When was the last time someone insulted you? What was the insult? *shrug* Do you have trouble reading small fonts? Yes. I used to find it aesthetically pleasing, but my vision is just too bad now, even with my (shitty) glasses. Do you know anybody that believes that magic/witchery truly exists? I think so. Do you find watching animals in their natural habitat to be exciting & fascinating? Absolutely!! The last time you had sex: did you want it, or did the other person want it? ... You know it's supposed to be a mutual desire, right?? What does your sibling(s) call you? "Britt." Has anyone you’ve known claimed to be psychic? Maybe? I'm unsure. Did/do you believe them? Hell no. I don't believe in psychics and believe people who claim to be so are manipulative pieces of shit. Is anything annoying you right now? I am bored to an inexplicable level askldjfla;wejlr. Have you ever worn a pair of scrubs? Yeah. Anything in your room that you’re hiding from your parents or someone else? No. Have you ever felt abandoned? Well yes. By definition, my dad abandoned our family. Where are you? I’m in my bed. What’s been the worst part of this day? I've just been so, so bored. I'm sick and fucking tired of dealing with anhedonia. Who last encouraged you to better yourself? My therapist.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''throne'' by bring me the horizon

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