#girls!814

[chelemlem]

about 500w of a random nothing prequel to this. (814 + r63 + implied infidelity)

The great thing about being young, dumb, and you know, Jenson winks, is that it's socially acceptable to excuse herself from all the schmoozing and shoulder-rubbing to sneak the odd ciggie with the servers. 

Back by the venue kitchens halfway into one of these things is where she finds Oscar: plonked on a wooden crate, phone in hand.

Maybe it's the peachy champagne from before, but Lando's limbs feel loose enough to pitch forward, perching her chin on Oscar's shoulder. Mm. Clean and cheap — some kind of citrus soap. 

"Whatcha hiding out here for?"

Oscar, to her credit, takes it in stride. 

"Not hiding. Just, uh. Quali's on."

Why bother? Obviously Verstappen's taking it. Oscar wrinkles her nose in an ehh gesture, screen angled so Lando can watch too. "Dunno, Red Bull are pretty shit around Marina Bay."

Are they, though? Then again, Oscar still backs Ricciardo out of some vague sense of patriotism, so maybe she's not the best judge of wheel.

"Bet you only fancy him 'cause he seems like he's hung," she says accusingly, and Oscar fucking. Creases in silent laughter. Huh, easy crowd. 

With her mouth open, Lando can see how the top line of her teeth dip low in the middle. A bunny rabbit. 

Ugh, fine. She has nothing better to do, and Oscar seems like a marginally more interesting time than the other models and heiresses inside. A proper little athlete. Might as well.

It turns out to be quite a long time, them sitting here. Like, two missed calls from her brother long. Nothing important. He's just in town on business and wants to do lunch. On the cusp of closing some deal that would make even Jense's eyes water.

"I have three sisters," Oscar offers. They have their backs to opposite walls, legs extended. Lando isn't really tipsy anymore, but she still kind of has this insane urge to close the gap, press her ankle along the exposed square of Oscar's instep. Are those Tommy? Fuck's sake.

"Mm. And you're the oldest?"

Oscar blinks. "Is it obvious?" 

"Bit, yeah."

Seems like a pain, honestly. There's a reason Lando's parents let her get away with everything — because they have Oliver to cushion the fall. Everyone agrees she'll probably land an MRS degree before an MBA. 

Oscar smiles, a tad wry. "Bet they're glad you're still making connections, though."

"Whad'you mean?" Lando says, shuttering. The back of her neck feels warm. Fucking—is she being slut-shamed right now?

Oscar shifts on the floor, looking for the first time: uncomfortable. "Isn't that why you're here?"

Uh. Lando is here because she'd wanted to date a MotoGP rider growing up and Jenson is the next-to-next best thing. Specifically here, in this greasy produce cellar with Webber's little girlfriend, though? Well.

"Fuck if I know, mate." 

Oscar snorts, her shoulders going lax. She starts to say something else when Lando uncrosses her legs, uncomfy from the sweat building behind her knees. The cream satin hitches up, baring a triangle of thigh that draws Oscar's gaze like a condemned moth to flame. Her mouth snaps shut.

Their eyes lock. Only for a second — but it's enough. 

Enough for Lando to pause and consider. And smile. 'Kay then.

Everything after that is a bit of a blur. 

[complementaryhalves]

what about...... landoscar new girl au.......... set in london for obvious reasons... oscar breaking up with his long-term girlfriend (not in the same way as the show ofc) and being forced to find a shared flat cause rent prices are insane... lando, alex and george having a free room in their flat... a spareroom.co.uk search and flatmate interview later, oscar moves in with them, and chaos ensues. alex and george are so obviously winston and schmidt. cat included. logan is oscar's model friend (may have a flirt with alex but i'm fine with either galex or sargebon being endgame). carlos is the ex lando can't seem to get over at the start (not as toxic as caroline). daniel is coach. please someone tell me you see the vision

[wisteriagoesvroom]

pardon my emotions

🍊 a landoscar fic 🏙️ girl!lando and boy!oscar racing au (rule 63) 🖋️ 15.8k words 🔗 read on ao3

preview:

The first thing he notices about Lando in person is she’s actually just… more than he thought. Onscreen, her presence that fizzles between sprightly and serious, depending on the outcome of a race. But in person, she just seems to be thinking all the time. The way she can’t seem to sit properly. Pulling a leg under her, always in a stance that makes Oscar wonder if she’s going to hurt her back. Teeth gnawing the straw of her water bottle, contemplative as the team runs through data and engineering reports and design upgrades for 2023’s car. Lando doesn’t miss a beat, asking questions that make eyebrows go up, making inquiries about feasibility and feedback on the car from last year that make several pairs of hands go flying across keyboards, pens scribbling across notepads. She’s a formidable leader. And she’s barely two years older than him, which shows how much he has to learn.

tags: @scuderiabs, @lescarbille, @momimf1ne, @alwayssortbykudos

thank you to @monacotrophywife, and YL (not on f1blr) for the beta reading 🧡 and @alphatinies for the bonus cheerleading!!

[girldriveroscar]

[sinfulmotivez89]

Back again... 🙃

New hair, new attitude, new mission😈

[gingersxng]

Sex Addiction

Pairing: f!reader x San

Summary: your boyfriend can’t keep his hands to himself and isn’t sorry about the consequences which follows

Genre: Smut 18+

Notes: sub!reader, rough dom!San, San has a sex addiction, San is really horny, public touching, nipple sucking, pussy eating, fingering, spanking, bruising, unprotected sex (always keep safe), cum eating, cream pie, many rounds, overstimulation

Words: 814

you were invited to a family dinner with your parents at a fancy restaurant earlier this evening but halfway through your boyfriend decided it would be appropriate to start playing with you under the table. caressing his hand on your squishy thighs and then further up your short skirt while holding a conversation with your mom. you felt your heart race and your body froze cause you were so scared someone would notice. you squeezed your thighs together locking his hand in between them to give him a warning. a deep chuckle escaped his lips. he pinched your thigh making you jolt up with a “ouch”. you threw a deadly glare at him and he honestly couldn’t care less cause all you got in return was a dirty smirk. “everything alright honey” your mom asked with a worried look on her face. “she’s been having bad cramps lately, I think I should take her home so she can get some rest” San replied squeezing your thigh.

and that’s how you ended up on your bed with your boyfriend sucking on your nipples and a hand inside your panties. “y-you really can’t restrain yourself c-can you” you moaned out trying to sound angry. San let go of your nipple and gave you a smirk sliding in two fingers inside your hole. “oh how well you know me..” he chuckled pumping his fingers faster. his actions made your back arch and eyes shut tight. this wasn’t the first time something like this had happened when you and San were out together, his sex drive was almost too much but you wouldn’t have it any other way seriously.

he pulled down your panties and rubbed your clit a few times before he dove right in. tongue gliding up and down your folds tasting your arousal. you put your hand in his hair pushing him down a bit, he groaned against your clit sending electric waves to your stomach. your moans were like angels singing in Sans ears and he could feel his cock twitch in his pants. your orgasm hit you like a train and you came all over his tongue, your body felt so heavy. San didn’t waste any time, he licked you clean and hurried to undo his pants letting his leaking aching friend out. “you don’t know how hard it is to keep my cock inside my pants when we’re out darling” his voice were deep and serious making your whole body shiver. he took his cock guiding it to your aching hole, being too excited like he used to get he didn’t give you a chance to adjust to him and you let out a whimper from the burn. he rutted into you like his life depended on it, your hands grabbing around him scratching his back. his eyes were pitch black and his bangs sticking to his sweaty forehead, San wasn’t that vocal instead he was growling and it always made your pussy clench around his cock sucking him all in. “fuck, I’m gonna cum if you keep clenching like that” “then cu- cum mmh inside me” you moaned out. he almost came just hearing you say that. he pulled out grabbing you by the waist flipping you over on your stomach. “on all fours now” he growled. with shaky legs you obeyed him.

he hit your ass cheeks very hard a few times which would leave handprints before taking hold on your hips squeezing hard while he pushed himself inside again. you felt tears rolling down your cheeks from the mixed feeling of pleasure and pain, San always used to go very rough on you when you had sex which meant you almost never had romantic and slow sex. “my beautiful sexy girl gonna get filled up good with my cum” he groaned throwing his head back. you felt your stomach twist and your mouth fell open when he put one hand on your clit and the other squeezing your ass hard while thrusting in and out. “pls S-Saaaannn!” you screamed, your legs almost gave out under you. “cum for me baby” he spanked you one more time with force and you came while letting out a loud broken moan. San pressed his hips into you and you could feel his cock twitch inside you, a big load of cum spurting into you. San pulled out watching as the cum was dripping out from your stretched hole all over your thighs, just the sight made him hard again. before you had time to rest you felt him pushing his cock in again.

“San you’re kidding…” you threw your head back to look at him. he gave you a sly smile letting out a little laugh. “when you have an addiction it’s damn hard to stop” he said bending over kissing your neck and grabbing your boobs as he started to thrust into you again.

[cottonlemonade]

Omg i always love your fic events!! You put so much effort into them and they're so creative! Can I get a small pineapple lemonade with pomegranate seeds for Kita? Thank u! ❤️🌾🧑‍🌾🦊

Accidental Confession

word count: 814 || avg. reading time: 4 mins.

pairing: Kita x chubby!Reader

genre: fluff

warnings: none

request: fluffy accidental confession with pining Kita

In hindsight maybe this wasn’t the best idea.

But then again, confessing your feelings to someone wasn’t an everyday occurrence so of course he didn’t have a routine for it.

Nothing about you was ordinary or predictable. Except that little smile you got when you doodled in your planner or you offering your help when you saw someone struggle or the absolute determination with which you would first push a door that was clearly marked pull. Those things he could count on and his heart jumped every time.

“Kita-san?”

He snapped back to the present, meeting your curious gaze. “Yes?”

“You wanted to ask something and then… well, you haven’t said anything yet.”

“Oh! Right.” His face grew a little warmer and he cleared his throat. Kita looked around the courtyard of the school for a moment, trying to remember how he wanted to start his question. It was on the tip of his tongue until he got tripped up by the sun hitting your eyes and all thought had vanished from his mind. Somewhere off to the right he spotted Aran and the twins blatantly staring in his direction. The ace gave him two encouraging thumbs up, Osamu managed to nod while getting lost in the taste of his lunch and Atsumu said something and then pretended to throw up, earning himself a smack over the head from Aran.

He never should have told them about his crush.

“I wanted to ask for yer help.”, he finally began and you sat up a little straighter to show you were listening.

“There’s someone I really like and I want to confess to her but I don’t know how. I was hopin’ ya’d have some insights.”

“Me?”, you said perplexed, “Why me?”

“Because yer really pretty and interestin’, ya must get confessions every other week.”

He frowned when you burst out into laughter.

But when he didn’t join in, you stopped. “Oh, wait. You were serious.”

“Was tryin’ to be. Yea.”

You cocked a brow and looked down at your pudgy tummy, barely hidden by the school’s jacket, and tucked at the hem of your skirt that always felt too short because your butt required so much fabric to cover.

“Uhm, I hate to break it to you, but I think you got the wrong girl. Why not try Kotoha? She is very popular and sweet - unless she is the one you want to confess to.”

“Who?”

“Ko- nevermind. - I can try to help you, sure. But I need a bit more info. Tell me about her.”

Kita pondered. It was the whole point of asking for your advice so he’d have the best possible set up for success. He wanted it to be tailored to your taste. What if you liked a public announcement and meanwhile he would have only handed you a private letter? He needed to be sure.

“She is quite outgoing.”, he began, putting a hand to his chin in thought.

“Outgoing from your point of view or outgoing like Atsumu?”

“Not like Atsumu.”, he said quickly, “More … confident and less…”

“Obnoxious?”, you offered with a chuckle and he pretended to cough to hide his snort.

“Yes. She is also really smart and funny. She knows how to make people comfortable and …”, he looked at his shoes, “has a beautiful smile.”

“Oh you’re down bad, I see.“

“She is beautiful in general.”, he went on, not noticing your comment because he wasn’t close to being done listing everything, “She loves to read and I also know she knits. And when she thinks no one can hear her, she starts humming while she is knitting and that sounds really nice.”

You frowned. You were part of the Knitting Club so you mentally flipped through the members of said club to figure out who he was talking about.

“One time,”, he said and gave a slow, low laugh, remembering the scene, his eyes still fixed on the ground, “she was knitting in the classroom and she was so proud, showing off a little thing she made and I asked her what it was and ya said it was obviously a frog.”

Kita’s shoulders shook and a few seconds later he was doubling over with laughter. He didn’t realize what he had just done.

“But it was just so round and wonky and had tiny stringy legs.” He gasped for air, trying to stop laughing.

Your heart hammered in your ears and your cheeks threatened to cook under the heat rising in them continuously. “H-hey, I’m still proud of my frog!” It was the only thing you could think of to say.

He started coughing from laughing so much, “As ya should be.” Raising his index finger to his eyes he wiped away the tears.

“So, uhm. I think as far as confessions go this was unconventional but… it definitely worked.”

“What?”

art: @cookiechochop on Twitter

a/n: thank you so much for the request, I’m sorry it’s taking so long for me to get to them all!

I didn’t make it post-time skip (like your emojis suggested ✨) because I already have him accidentally confess in A Simpler Life ^^ I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless and thank you so much for your kind words!

[tadpolesonalgae]

Sweet Girl[*]

Mommy!Mor x reader

a/n: thank you anon <3 for giving me an excuse to put into writing these sapphic vibesss 🥞

warnings: mommy kink, overstim, oral (reader recieving), smut, use of a strap, praise kink

word count: 814

——————————————————————————————————————————————

Your eyes roll as she pushes you through the seventh orgasm of the night, dripping arousal around her fingers, her skilful tongue lapping you up like honey.

“Mor!” You cry, stammering as you babble, thighs jerking as she sucks at your clit, set on pulling those pretty tears from your lovely eyes, getting your cheeks gleaming and wet, lashes heavy with dampness so they shine in the light. That sweet curve under your lower lip as you cry, trying desperately to squirm away from her. She keeps her hold tight as you writhe on her bed, a dark spot in the sheets beneath you, a puddle of cum and messily spread saliva mixed into the dark red fabric.

“Mor, please, I can’t…I can’t…”

She flickers her tongue against your clit and you squeal, trying to wriggle away, hips rocking in attempts to dislodge her hold, but she has you tight. You cry out as tears drip back into your hair, spine arching through the pleasure, bucking against her mouth as your body splits between chasing more and running for relief.

You scream when she curls her fingers, finding that spot she’d mercifully left alone since orgasm four, pressing against it and you think your vision goes white, babbling nonsensically as sweat gathers along your spine.

Mor leaves you wrecked and ruined on her bed, momentarily retracting her fingers from your sobbing pussy, her liquid gold laugh tinkling down your spine, fluttering in your lower belly. “What do you mean you can’t?” She coos, removing herself from your heat, liking how your chest is heaving, nipples still perky from when she’d been licking and sucking at those wonderfully tender places. “You’re such a good girl for me, and good girls take their pleasure, don’t they?”

“Y-yes—but mommy—!”

“No buts, sweetness. Just lay back and take everything you deserve, m’kay?”

You whimper, staring up at the ceiling as you pant deeply, spread out across her bed, pillows plump beneath your torso and head, hair curling and sticking to your temples, body flush and hot—perfect for Mor’s playful fingertips.

“Come on baby,” she coos, the nickname mocking and diminutive from her arousal glossed mouth. “Come to this end for me. Then we can have some good times together.”

You whine breathlessly, but manage to obediently drag yourself into position so your head is at the foot of the bed, and you’re facing her, and— “What do you think? Aren’t you pretty?”

You’d forgotten about the mirror, revealing your reflection as she steps aside, making her way around the bed to climb on top of you, where you’re laying on your stomach. You look utterly ruined.

“Sweets?” Mor calls, straddling the backs of your thighs, and you whimper when she spreads you apart. “Aren’t you pretty?”

“I’m…I’m pretty, mommy…” you mumble, not even aware of what you’re saying, just trying to follow orders to satiate her hunger. Again she laughs, and again sensitivity slithers down and between the vertebrae of your spine.

“That’s right,” Mor laughs, “you’re so pretty, aren’t you? Whether you’re on your knees, or your back, or even your front—my sweet, sweet girl.”

“Your…sweet girl,” you repeat mindlessly, still trembling from pleasure. Mor coos at your attempts, leaning over you so her palm cups your throat, pulling you up gently to look at her, golden locks of thick hair pooling on the sheets either side of you, cascading from her shoulders over your own.

“Now, keep still for me, pretty baby,” she instructs, her hips lowering so you can feel as the glass strap presses against your ass, the cool temperature stark against the hot flush of your skin, and you jolt with realisation.

“Mommy, no. No, I can’t, I can’t…!”

“Yes you can,” she hums, sliding her palm higher to cup your jaw, thumb running across your lower lip before slipping inside your mouth. “You’re going to feel so good again. You don’t want that?”

Tears spill as your toes curl, feeling as she presses the cold tip of the red glass to your hot entrance, sliding easily lower between your thighs, coating herself in your arousal before pushing in.

Your eyes roll, panting shallowly as she pushes the glass against your sensitive inner walls, cruelly rubbing up against that one spot she knows makes you cry, hot tears dripping down your cheeks.

“Come on, keep it together for me,” she murmurs, a smile in her voice as she settles lower to the bed, the soft weight of her breasts pressing fully against your back, allowing her to push deeper. “I’m going to make you feel so good, sweet girl,” she promises, nosing up the side of your throat before choosing a place to lick; nip at.

“My sweet girl knows how to behave, doesn’t she?”

You bite at the interior of your lip, flushing. “…yes, mommy…”

——————————————————————————————————————————————

general taglist: @myheartfollower @tcris2020 @mali22 @slut4acotar @sfhsgrad-blog @needylilgal022 @hannzoaks @hnyclover @skyesayshi @nyotamalfoy @decomposing-writer @soph1644 @lilah-asteria @nighttimemoonlover

[pupyuqi]

★ casual⠀: ⠀Cho miyeon x fem!reader

— “ was it all just casual for you, miyeon? ”

🫀 warning : obvious comphet from miyeon, not so subtle hints of internalized homophobia, angsty yuri. half written. men dni.

word count: 814 words ⭑

-

Was it casual when you asked me to come over almost every single night just because you said you missed me?

“‘love of her life.’ cho miyeon, you’re gonna end up being the death of me.” you thought to yourself, miyeon knew you were gay, you were open about it, feeling as though there was no need to hide that part of yourself from the word because that part was undeniably you. miyeon on the other hand, she had felt attraction to girls, many times actually - though each time she did, she felt the need to hide, to leave like the coward she was.

-

was it casual when you had me come over while you were drunk and asked me to hold you close in my arms and begged me to never leave you?

“miyeon..” you dared to utter out as you felt the older girl’s hands clutch onto you tighter, so tight that you swore you were beginning to lose your breath. “.. hold me. please, n/n.. just hold me.” miyeon said, practically pleading with you. shaky hands moved to wrap around her as you held her. “never leave me.”

silence fell on the two of you as you two laid in the couch of her living room, the sounds of rain creating a sort of ambience for the two. “I won’t. i promise.” with that, miyeon looked up at you with glassy eyes, tears cascading down her face as it fell on your shirt. she leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss on your lips, a kiss that you reciprocated, as always.

-

Was it casual when you told me me that your friends knew about me? about us? was it casual when you called me your love?

-

was it casual when you said you wouldn’t wanna get married unless it was with me?

“Y/n,” You looked at her, her head resting peacefully on your chest as her fingers played with the hem of your shirt. “hm?” miyeon lifted her head to make eye contact, her gaze flickering between your eyes and your lips for a few seconds before she spoke.

“would you ever wanna get married?” her question caught you somewhat off guard though you brushed it off. “well.. yeah, sure, if i met the right girl, i think i’d be okay with marriage. what about you?”

miyeon stared at you for a couple of seconds, seemingly contemplating your answer as she bit on her bottom lip. “.. i don’t wanna get married.” she murmured, moving up a bit to tuck her head into the crook of your neck. “not unless its with you.”

you felt your breath get caught in your throat at her words, you could feel your face get hot and you swore miyeon could feel it too with the way she let out that adoring chuckle. “you’re so corny..” you said though your voice were barely audible. “maybe. but only for you.”

-

we’re we really just casual? I guess so.

-

-

“I guess it really was just casual, huh? maybe it was my fault for thinking we were more than friends, for thinking you genuinely wanted to be with me when this could’ve easily been another friday for you; or maybe it was your fault for treating me like that, for making me feel special, for making me think you liked me.”

[hanbinics]

ღ matthew sturniolo ღ

ღ ONE SHOTS

ღ bloom ⟶ it is spring, and the lilacs are in full bloom. [wc: 3.8k]

ღ at dawn ⟶ firsts and lasts with you. [wc: 2.5k]

ღ DRABBLES

ღ good girls ⟶ “gonna keep talking or you gonna let me suck your cock?” [wc: 1k]

ღ pillow princess ⟶ in which you wake up needy for your boyfriend, so matt takes care of you. [wc: 650]

ღ if you don’t know ⟶ in which matt lets you go. [wc: 814]

ღ peep show | part two ⟶ you catch !neighbor matt with your panties. [wc: 987]

ღ till death do us part ⟶ your husband reminds you who you belong to. [wc: 2.1k]

ღ safe haven ⟶ after a long night of filming, all matt wants to do is hold you. [wc: 500]

ღ a perfect match ⟶ in which you find the peter pan to your tinker bell, only it was never a coincidence. [wc: 1.1k]

ღ rockstar ⟶ matt looks a little too good in eyeliner.. [wc: 1.1k]

ღ AU'S

!smart reader ⟶ all things written for !smart reader can be found here. [mostly !smart reader x !fratboy matt]

!crybaby reader ⟶ !crybaby reader x various matt au's can be found here.

!bartender matt ⟶ all things written for !bartender matt can be found here.

!fratboy matt ⟶ all things written for !fratboy matt can be found here.

!vampire matt ⟶ all things written for !vampire matt can be found here. [halloween special]

!boxer matt ⟶ all things written for !boxer matt can be found here.

!tattoo artist matt ⟶ all things written for !tattoo artist matt can be found here.

ღ HEADCANONS

ღ breeding kink ⟶ in which matt never had a breeding kink.. until he met you.

ღ MISCELLANEOUS

ღ matt hours ⟶ a collection of short matt pieces written from asks and more.

©hanbinics

[mecachrome]

ur tag “joking but likeee this is why he and lando communicate perfectly” YEAH!

lando constantly misunderstood norris + oscar refuses to let things drop without fully understanding piastri

exactly anon <333 i know it's like socially unacceptable to relate your neurodivergent traits to real people on the internet apparently so i mostly keep this in oomf dms but i do think part of why some people are drawn to 814's "weirdness" is that it reminds them a lot of their own interactions/patterns of communication with their friends 🤷‍♀️ and honestly........ idk not to get too serious or anything but what kind of bothers me about how oscar/lando's personalities are interpreted is that it often feels like it's done through a bad-faith nt lens but then i feel like i'm just being too sensitive LOL. like personally i find lando to be a really clear and strong communicator and i guess i don't really "get" why a lot of nt people are determined to perceive innuendo where there is no reason to be any.... like as audhd guy i feel like i never Think or Express Myself the right way and then i'm like damb are these statements really being read that way ??? and second-guess my ability to understand tone and intent LOL. and frankly i find it so reductive to treat oscar as a kimi 2.0 in earnest (obviously most jokes are in good fun & harmless but like as a Singular Characterization it's mildly exhausting) because it completely ignores the fact that he does have so much character and has always had it and it's not like his maturity & coolness ever "hid" his prema self as some say, those parts of him are capable of just existing in tandem...

anw 😔 i think like 90% of high-level professional athletes are deeply neurotic to some degree especially when their lives are dominated by habits and routine but it's endearing to see 814 communicate because they rly do have an unspoken understanding of each other's quirks and limits and it works really well together :') qtest most expressive girl

[wisteriagoesvroom]

Can we have an overview of you girl!lando 🥺🥺 like the aesthetic and maybe a glimpse or her playlist 🙏

yesss of course. snippets of lyrics i’ve put here before. (will post the playlist once the fic is out!)

moodboard, well you got me trying out the pinterest collage function for the first time so thank you for that too—

[girldriveroscar]

CRACKS KNUCKLES heres some parasocial nonsense. pls dont take too serious im just being silly.

insp by @inchidentally the 814 essay GOAT… Hi.

Okyeah analyzing this video and recent posts.

So Like. oscar piastri being the normalTm guy whos still w his hs sweetheart, wears graphic tees and beat up af1s and still vacations w the guys he grew up w, who was actually kinda socialized (as well as any other well-off posh kid who’s parents could afford the luxury of fucking them off to boarding school i digress).. but like, he played pranks w the Lads and got congratulatory slaps on the back, his first crushes wer probs navigated in small talk during class and walking together in the halls? generally just a guy who balanced his social life and Career to Some relatively healthy degree so it’s not like Completely foreign to him how to talk to girls and make friends. and so he gets that building an intimate relationship w someone is mostly just hanging out, experiencing new food tgthr, new movies, walking around a new city, he just gives such a NORMAL GUY answer of a perfect date, and i think part of being socialized the way he was gave him the understanding that grandiose gestures of love kinda just come off as disingenuous. oscar jus reads as a guy whos never resorted to showboating bc his introduction to romance was just like anyone else, awkward shuffling and bonding on the weekends over pizza and homework. and even as a formula 1 RACE WINNER GUY W MONEY hiiiiii, he still has such a cute simple recipe for a perf date bc hes been through it. he knows how to court someone bc it worked and its been working!!!

then on the flip u have THE peacock tm, shirt unbuttoned so low might as well forgo it atp, lando norris whos perfect date idea is hi, (wtf.) YACHT. and sex (exhibitionist freak. sorry who said that…) like boyyyy oh my god shakes him by the shoulders u are so not normal. lando norris, who’s always ben a little comfier than his peers growing up. always out of place bc his dads pockets were Open and Ready to ensure he never had to worry about pinching pennies in a spar for some chips after class Yeah and he doesnt even know it bc thats NEVER been his life? yeaaa and add in a dash of Always being on the race track, never rly socializing w. girls or boys who weren’t in direct competition w him, turning 19 and immediately being sized up to his older hyper-masculine charming And sexy teammate. (getting carried away mb)

lando himself explaining that having to grow up so fast and be a good boy (His words.) prevented him from finding his footing in social settings and only now being able to experience these things at 23/24?!

i digress now also factor in his (alleged…) favorite movie is a silly romcom?! (also maybe just peacocking tho bc “girls love a guy w a soft side” and lando wld know bc he watched one movie about it…. like srsly u want me to believe the hangover and stepbrothers belong in the same category as Romcom u dont rmbr the name of okk weirdo)

so yea of course a boy who’s never passed notes to his crush in class, never asked anyone to a dance, never pulled pranks w his schoolmates, Understands intimacy thru cheesy romcoms an weekends emptying his dads wallet on flights to wtv racing event. LIKE OF COURSE he thinks romance is wtv he can mimic from A. how his dad showed him love (…$$..) and B. what the movies r saying ! (thats socially repressed twin.) AND THE GAG OF IT ALL!!!! is he thinks he is so suave so playboy, “i have sex and let me announce about it publicly in case u doubted it” when the reality of it is like? dude u are thirst-liking instagram models while oscar is Getting it every night ur such a loser omfg.

just Like. Ugh the juxtaposition of oscar whos so secure in himself in his dad shorts and ANKLE socks and lando who just grew out of his awkwardness in his early 20s and now Needs to slut himself out to make up for lost time.

(AND. the double gag is landos still so obviously not secure abt the fact he Doesnt Really Know what hes doing that every one can see it ouhmygodd lando x chernobyl levels of imposter syndrome u are so complicated and angsty U TEENAGE GIRL. holds a can of diet coke to his lips. there there girl. there there.)

[jimintomystery]

MST3K's most wanted

I've been organizing my Mystery Science Theater 3000 collection, so I've become preoccupied with the handful of episodes that are not easily available, and the reasons why. In case in anyone else is interested, I thought I'd share what I've learned.

For our purposes we'll be focusing on the ten seasons that aired on cable, from 1989 to 1999. With the post-2017 episodes, it's trivial to purchase them on home video or streaming. And the pre-cable stuff, from KTMA, is widely available as bootleg footage, which is probably about as good as you're ever going to get. But the episodes from the cable era have been notoriously difficult to re-release, and require special attention.

Of the 176 MST3K episodes that aired on cable, 166 have been released on home video, and 145 are available for streaming/download on the Gizmoplex. As someone who's been trying to collect the whole series since the 1990s, I think that's pretty impressive. But there are 40 episodes that have been particularly tricky. Let's take a look, won't you?

Currently available on the Gizmoplex, but never on home video (1):

913 - Quest of the Delta Knights

As I understand it, nobody was sure who owned the rights to this movie, or how to contact them, for years. The situation has only recently been cleared up, perhaps too late for a DVD release.

Currently available on the Gizmoplex, but out of print on home video (8):

203 - Jungle Goddess

317 - Viking Women and the Sea Serpent

319 - War of the Colossal Beast

510 - The Painted Hills

619 - Red Zone Cuba

806 - The Undead

808 - The She-Creature

912 - The Screaming Skull

It looks like all of these went out of print due to being on a set where a different episode's rights expired. Theoretically Shout Factory could re-release any of them in a "Lost and Found" set, but that may not be cost-effective as people move away from collecting physical media.

Currently available on home video and MST3K's official YouTube, but not on the Gizmoplex (1):

615 - Kitten with a Whip (Vol. 25 DVD, 2012)

Kitten is one of the Universal movies that could only be licensed for physical media. And yet, it's the only one I can find on the official YouTube channel. Beats me why that is.

Currently available on home video, but not on the Gizmoplex (16):

401 - Space Travelers (Vol. 32 DVD, 2015)

522 - Teen-Age Crime Wave (Vol. 33 DVD, 2015)

524 - 12 to the Moon (Vol. 35 DVD, 2016)

601 - Girls Town (Vol. 39 DVD, 2017)

605 - Colossus and the Headhunters (Vol. 38 DVD, 2017)

614 - San Francisco International (Vol. 32 DVD, 2015)

704 - The Incredible Melting Man (Vol. 36 DVD, 2016)

801 - Revenge of the Creature (Vol. 25 DVD, 2012)

802 - The Leech Woman (25th Anniversary Edition DVD, 2013)

803 - The Mole People (Vol. 26 DVD, 2013)

804 - The Deadly Mantis (Vol. 27 DVD, 2013)

805 - The Thing That Couldn't Die (Vol. 29 DVD, 2013)

814 - Riding With Death (Vol. 36 DVD, 2016)

815 - Agent for H.A.R.M (Vol. 33 DVD, 2015)

901 - The Projected Man (Vol. 30 DVD, 2014)

1013 - Diabolik (Vol. 39 DVD, 2017)

I was able to find the DVD sets listed above on Shout Factory's website. As far as I know, they'll remain in print for the foreseeable future, but there's no way to know how long that will last.

The general pattern with these episodes is that the movies are owned by major studios that would only license them for physical media. Columbia owns Teen-Age Crime Wave and 12 to the Moon. MGM owns Girls Town and The Incredible Melting Man. Paramount owns Diabolik. But the big player here is Universal, which controls the rights to Space Travelers, San Francisco International, Revenge of the Creature, Leech Woman, Mole People, Deadly Mantis, Thing That Couldn't Die, Riding With Death, Agent for H.A.R.M., and Projected Man.

The odd man out here is Colossus and the Headhunters; I can't find any info on who owns the rights to this film, which may be part of the problem.

The real hard cases, the stickiest of wickets, are below...

Released on home video, but now out of print (5):

212 - Godzilla vs. Megalon (Vol. 10 DVD, 2006)

309 - The Amazing Colossal Man (VHS, 1996)

910 - The Final Sacrifice (Vol. 17 DVD, 2010)

1001 - Soultaker (Vol. 14 DVD, 2009)

1012 - Squirm (Turkey Day Collection DVD, 2014)

Megalon and Colossal Man were both recalled when rights issues came up after they were released. Oops. These were produced by Rhino, back before Shout Factory took over.

The Final Sacrifice is particularly tough to find, even unofficially, because director Tjardus Greidanus is very aggressive about tracking down download links. I always figured someone was similarly possessive of Soultaker, since it's clearly a passion project, but that's purely my speculation.

The Turkey Day DVD set is still available on Amazon at a reasonable price, so Squirm is still relatively accessible for now.

Never released on home video or streaming (9):

201 - Rocketship X-M

213 - Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster

311 - It Conquered the World

416 - Fire Maidens of Outer Space

418 - Attack of the the Eye Creatures

807 - Terror from the Year 5000

809 - I was a Teenage Werewolf

905 - The Deadly Bees

906 - The Space Children

In 2017, Shout released its final (?) MST3K DVD collection, which included Satellite Dishes, a compilation of host segments from episodes that "may never get a legitimate release." This included the nine listed above, as well as The Amazing Colossal Man and Quest for the Delta Knights. Of course, Delta Knights eventually got a digital-only release, which is cause for a glimmer of hope. But the others are probably tougher nuts to crack.

Wade Williams owned the rights to Rocketship X-M and had a particular sentimental attachment to the film. His death in 2023 may make it easier to negotiate with his estate, but I wouldn't count on that being a swift process.

Godzilla vs. Megalon and Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster are part of a prestigious franchise, and it's remarkable MST3K got away with riffing on Godzilla movies in the first place. I get the impression that Japanese culture doesn't particularly appreciate the sort of mockery MST3K is known for, so the rights to these two movies may be a long, long shot. Then again I used to think there was no hope of for the Gamera episodes too.

Fire Maidens, Deadly Bees, and Space Children are owned by Olive Films, and currently licensed to Paramount. It's possible a deal can be made later on, but not until the current arrangement expires.

The major bugbear for MST3K fandom is Susan Hart, the widow of American International Pictures co-founder James Nicholson. One way or another the AIP catalog was split up and Hart laid claim to several of their films, including Amazing Colossal Man, It Conquered the World, Eye Creatures, Terror from the Year 5000, and Teenage Werewolf. Hart's price for licensing her movies is very high, and it seems Shout has given up negotiating with her. I suppose the situation could change when she passes away, but I'd feel rather silly hoping for an old woman to die just so I can pay 8 bucks to watch robots laugh at a werewolf movie.

In conclusion, I've already purchased all the movies available on the Gizmoplex (I got most of them in a Kickstarter reward package), and the 31 that aren't available there can be obtained by, ahem, other means. So it's a great time to be an MST3K fan, and I'm still amazed how easy it is to watch the show nowadays.

[ficsbb]

Mirror

》 Pairing: John Wick x MascFem!Reader

》 Warnings: pet names like pretty girl and love

》 Word Count: 814

Note: This is for anon who had the prompt, "John Wick or John Constantine x tomboy or masculine!fem reader..." I'll be writing one for Constantine because I really want to expand on this, so we'll see! Thank you, and enjoy!

You look in the mirror, second guessing your clothes before heading out with John. As much as your confidence is high, especially with someone as wonderful as John by your side, you still wonder if it's enough on days like these. Should you wear the glamorous dresses? The shiny earrings that sparkle and glitter when they catch the light? Should you show off your body more in tight-fitting clothes? Would he like it better?

“Hey, love, the car is here.” You jump slightly, hoping he doesn't see it in your eyes, the overthinking and the worrying swimming in them.

“Uh- yes, yep,” you turn from the mirror and face him in the doorway, “I'm ready. Wait, you're not driving?” He smiles and walks toward you, lightly caressing your necklace when he reaches you. The warmth of his fingers is distracting, and suddenly, the room starts to feel much warmer than before. You stare at the veins on his hands and watch how they dance almost, putting you in a trance.

“Not tonight, no. I want to focus completely on you.” John lifts your chin so your eyes meet his. “Every moment of tonight is just for us. How does that sound?”

“Perfect.” You whisper, breathless.

“Good,” he smiles wide and backs up, seemingly taking you all in, “Exquisite. The slacks are tailored just right.” He winks at you, giddy, and a small bit of shyness creeps up on you.

“You really think so?” John cocks his head to the side, curious.

“You don't like it?”

“No- I- I love it, actually. I just-” You turn back to the mirror. “Is it too…masculine? Would you prefer something more feminine?”

You hear him take a deep breath as he presses himself behind you, wrapping his arms around your middle. It almost feels like your body takes a sigh of relief at the action.

“What I prefer, my love, is for you to feel comfortable and beautiful in whatever you decide to wear.” John's voice is low, deep, and the puffs of air from his mouth tickles the nape of your neck.

“Although I will say,” his fingers travel to the middle of your chest where the buttons of the blouse are open, revealing a thin three layered gold necklace, “the sight of you like this, does something to me. You look powerful. Do you see that?”

His hand slowly makes its way up to your neck, and it catches your attention. Every move he makes catches your attention fully. You lock eyes with him through the mirror and then catch your own right after. Your lips parted, chest slowly rising and falling with John's hand lightly caressing your pulse point.

“Do you see what I see?” He plants a kiss on your temple. "Do you?"

You nod. Even without makeup, you can see how he sees you. The both of you in this dimly lit room, looking at each other in the mirror. His suit matching yours and the gold band on his hand, glinting as he adjusts your necklace slightly. You take that hand and kiss the top of the ring. The metal is cold against your lips. Slowly starting to come back into yourself, you nod assuredly again.

“Come, let's go. I want to show you off tonight.” He twirls you around, and it makes a giggle bubble out of you. John kisses you in the middle of it, and it makes you laugh even more. He turns toward the door with your hand in his, leading you to the hall.

“Thank you, Mr. Wick.”

You watch him stop abruptly, his grip on your hand tightening slightly. For just a tiny second, you marvel at how broad his back looks in the dark navy suit he's wearing. The room is quiet, the sound of your heartbeat pounding in your ears as the tension between you thickens. John turns his head to the left, speckled beard almost shining with the golden glow of the room lights overhead.

“Say it again.” The warmth spreads inside you as quick as lightening strikes. You let go of his hand and wrap your arms around his middle this time, one hand reaching beneath his coat to feel the slow and steady beat of his heart. After a beat, they start to sync.

“Thank you, Mr. Wick.”

“Oh, pretty girl, maybe we should stay in tonight?” You press your face into his back, taking in his scent. It's grounding and intoxicating, and you swear you could stay like this forever. Your hand slowly makes its way to his stomach, then his belt buckle, and just before you can go any lower, you smile and pull back. His groan brings you satisfaction.

“I'll see you in the car, John.” You attempt to walk ahead, but his hand on the back of your neck is swift and steady and his voice rough,

“The driver can wait.”

♡♡♡♡

[cottonlemonade]

Inarizaki Masterlist

____________________________________________

Kita Shinsuke

🫧 How You Met word count: 927, post-time skip

🪭 Insatiable [drabble]

🫧 Ideal [drabble]

🫧 A Simpler Life [part 2] [part 3] 🪭 [part 4] [headcanon bonus] full word count: 7.6k, slice of life, neighbors to lovers, slow burn, post-time skip

🌱 Breathe [drabble]

🫧 Tutoring You 🍱 word count: 917

🫧 Comparing Scores 🍱 word count: 1k, rivals to lovers

🫧 Accidental Confession 🍋 word count: 814, pining

🫧🍡 Time Well Spent 🍋 word count: 984, established relationship, post-time skip

🫧 Dating Advice [drabble]

🫧 Home Remedy [drabble]

🫧 A Rainy Day 🎃

word count: 690, married, post-time skip

Miya Osamu

🫧 How You Met word count: 873, post-time skip

🌧️🫧 Archnemesis 🍋 [part 2] 🍱 full word count: 1.8k, rivals to lovers, pining, 3rd year

🍡🫧 Strawberry Lotion word count: 546, established relationship, aged up

🫧 He Proposes To You word count: 588, established relationship, post-time skip

🫧 Clumsy Kitchen Apprentice [drabble]

🍡 Pancakes After Sex [drabble]

🫧 Mystery Flavor 🍋 word count: 779, pining, post-time skip

🫧 When You Mess Up On A Test (LDR) [drabble] 🍋

🌧️🫧 His Favorite Customer 🎃 word count: 1.1k, he protects/comforts you, post-time skip

🫧 Neighborhood Hag [drabble]

🫧 Helping With Hour Homework [drabble]

Miya Atsumu

🫧 How You Met word count: 1k, post-time skip

🫧 That Time I Made My Brother Hide In The Bathroom To Talk To A Girl word count: 876, post-time skip

🫧 All Is Fair In Love And War [drabble] 🍋

🫧 Call Me Baby 🍋 word count: 723, friends to lovers

🫧🪭 Sunday Morning [drabble]🍋

🫧🍡 When Your Husband Is Sick ☕️ word count: 630, married, post-time skip

🫧 The Second Best Setter [drabble] 🍱

🫧 When He Babysits His Niece word count: 1.2k, post-time skip

🫧 Omi = Granny [headcanon]

🫧 Atsumu’s New Girlfriend word count: 656, established relationship, post-time skip

🫧 A Wife Guy [headcanon]

Suna Rintaro

🪭 Keeping Quiet word count: 864, established relationship, post-time skip

🪭 Six And A Half Minutes [part 2] [part 3] full word count: 5.2k, friends to lovers, University!AU

🫧 Night Routine ☕️ word count: 508, established relationship, University!AU

🫧 Tattoo Artist x Single Mom [part 2] [part 3] [drabbles]

🫧🍡 Accidental Confession 🍋 word count: 1.3k, enemies to lovers

Oomimi Ren

🫧 The Wrath Of Oomimi Ren 🍱 word count: 818

____________________________________________

🫧 fluff // 🌱 comfort // 🍡 suggestive // 🪭 spice // 🌧️ angst/hurt // 🍋|☕️|🍱|🎃 request

____________________________________________

back to the main masterlist