#girllllllll what the fuck

[beyondtheepleasureprinciple]

what they did to ginny weasley in the movies is probably the foulest mischaracterization of them all. the disservice. the deyassification. the misogyny. the lack of parallels w lily. etc

[cherrytea-afterdark]

Told my gf about a fanfic I was reading that was BAD as in ROUGH as in DARK but really really well written and she goes oh! Can you send it to me :) and then she tells me "wow I went into that expecting something cute when you said mermaids but that was not... not. It was so well written though!" And I'm like IT SAID DEAD DOVE WHAT TO YOU MEAN YOU WERE EXPECTING CUTE and DHE GOES OH I DON'T READ THE TAGS

Anyway. free girlfriend to a good home. Not ao3 trained.

[kavehater]

Nah cause i am actually this close to dming everyone i know that i literally don’t want to talk to you ever again and that i hate you 🥰 dahlia ONLY has a SMALL exception but if even dahlia doesn’t stand much of a chance then none of you all do i fear

[moremaybank]

Girllllllll the way I want to make JJ mad and jealous 😫🙏🏻

babe it's like you’re in my mind rn oml

the way my mind is wandering right now involves jj who's desperately in love with you but he doesn't wanna admit it. and you've been trying to coax him into giving in but he refuses and denies how deep things are between you two. you don't take it hard, though, because you know he needs a little push. so, the next time you guys are at a party, you're able to wrangle an extremely attractive touron and reel him into your web. you turn on the charm, showing him affection with your lingering touches and batted lashes. when you dance with him, you're sure to grind your ass against his groin, swaying your hips and knowing that jj's watching and is hypnotized by your movements. eventually, he has enough, and just as you're about to seal the deal by kissing the guy and taking him somewhere private, jj cuts in. "back the fuck off my girl before i give you something to cry about," he speaks lowly. his hand curls around your biceps and he yanks you behind him. "woah, sorry, man. didn't know she had a boyfriend." you're quick to object, "i don't. i'm single." but jj glares at the guy, and then at you. "the fuck she doesn't." jj storms off, but not without you. the two of you trudge your way to the twinkie, and he practically throws you inside. "you think that shit's funny? this pussy's mine, baby girl. you can't just throw it at any guy you want," he rasps, quickly tugging your panties to the side under your skirt and shoving his cock deep inside you before you can even fathom what's going on. you mewl when you feel his intrusion, your head falling back against the seat. "you wanna act like a slut? then i'll treat you like one. gonna fuck you till you pass out 'n then wake up right back up by making you cum."

concepts

[futurecorps3]

Hiii can you do Sirius with non curvy reader? After you release a Sirius with a curvy reader of course, I love how body inclusive you are <33

𝐒𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐱 𝐧𝐨𝐧-𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐲!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Masterlist<3

hehe. he. he. Thoughts are being thunk!!! I love this and love you anon for requesting it<3 Idk if I made him extra horny on this bc of my hormones and this is totally biased or this is how I actually think of him.

+18 cause shit got messy and im ovulating.

-BA-BY-GIRLLLLLLLL

-Sirius Orion Black stans for two things in life;

-ACAB and all tits are good tits.

-My brother in Christ he does not give a single flying fuck if you're not curvy at all<3

-He'll still grope you in public (with consent), smack your bum (with consent) and water at the sight of you in revealing clothes!!!

-"Holy shit doll" you hear him sigh behind you "What?" and just a loud smacking noise and a sharp pain in your butt followed by an arm thrown over your arms "It was right there, m'sorry!!!"

-He's not. He's not sorry.

-LEATHER TOPS TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-My man has no self control

-He will and has walked into dressing rooms with you despite the store's worker's protests just to see you change.

-"Did you bring the one with the star-" "With the stars on the nips? The one you practically begged me to try on?" You laugh, showing him how's discarded on the small bench inside the cubicle "Missed it, it was on right before you came in".

-Private runways in his dorm! Sexy and not sexy ones!

-He's a goner whenever you match silky/lacy tops and his jacket

-He really doesn't care. He thinks you're stunning babe! Whatever you wear, however you look.

-Yes he marks you up<3

-HICKEYS ARE EASY TO PLACE WHAT DID YOU EXPECT

-He loves seeing the aftermath too omg

-"If you don't take the scarf off, I might actually stop eating for a while because it's making me so misserab-". Just take it off girl- You will not hear the end of it if you hide his marks.

-Lives buried in your ass and tits, the size REALLY doesn't matter

-Ya know what I said about Remmie and his Bowie shirts?

-That same thing with Sirius' and his queen shirts.

-Your nipples perking up and him being able to see them so SUBTLY? You're not getting out of bed, ever.

-He's so respectful of your boundaries too <3 like he's not doing any of these if you feel even the slightest bit uncomfortable. He makes sure not to say or do ANYTHING that you don't like.

-He will fight if someone makes mean comments about you/your relationship/your body

-Unlike Remus or James, Sirius' anger is so very LOUD. He yells, he punches, he is mean.

-"The fuck you staring at?" while looking at whoever disrespected right in the eye

-SUCKS ON YOUR TITS AND BITES YOUR BUTT.

-okay I'm done, I'll go take a cold ass shower and touch some grass

[welldonekhushi]

Girllllllll I saw the ask you sent in with Taro about Cry of Fear and I just wanna tell you I fucking LOVE THAT GAME!!!!

The symbolism; almost everything is a metaphor for a different symptom of depression. The entire game hits so close to home (and is fucking terrifying) and I’m pumped to know other people are talking about it!!!!!!!

OMG, FINALLY! Another CoF fan, you're really cool! It's been two years since I learned about the game and I can't even get it out of my head *sniff*

You are right! The game is entirely based on symbolism and metaphor which makes it even more interesting. Simon's depression explores all sorts of depths, and getting to know about it will even make a person, who isn't depressed, depressed like him too. The devs did a great job explaining why depression isn't even a damn joke and you know what? I felt it deep in my VEINS, like Simon deserved a lot, lot better!

And wow. The soundtrack. Absolutely lovely. My favorite ones are "Dark City", "Never", "I'm Sick" and "One Way Or Another"

There are spoilers for CoF under the cut! Please don't look if you've not gone through the game!

What intrigues me that each and every monster Simon faces, and encounters, is a representation of his worst fears, or mental disorders. Like the monster Sawrunner has got to be one of the MOST scariest of them all, because it's a representation of anxiety. And I used to have a lot of anxiety before which made me relate to this so bad. The adrenaline rush you'd get that something bad is about to happen is absolutely relatable!

I absolutely love how well detailed the monsters are according to the figments of Simon's imagination. The game sure doesn't have good graphics but I don't care, it'll always stand to be one my favorite game ever! I'm glad to find more people like you who know the game! ♡

[nic-coughlan]

I'm so delulu. I'm holding out for the Penelope and Lady Danbury interaction. My nonsense idea is she will sense Penelope keeping a secret (maybe not what), give some sage advice, and be a messy gossip bitch with Penelope and Colin at the center of the ballroom.

girllllllll same. don't even think for 1 second that lady danbury wouldn't be pleased as fucking anything to know she was lady whistledown. she'd probably hug and shake her hand like i'm sorry this innocent looking wallflower has the london ton eating out of the palm of her hand? give her a knighthood immediately.

[star-girl69]

let me just say ur actually such a fucking genius for your haunted idea likeeee⁉️⁉️⁉️ have not stopped thinking abt it since i read it

-🎀

GIRLLLLLLLL ITS GONNA BE SO GOOD DONT GET ME STARTED THE CULT GC KNOWS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT LOLLL

i think it will have to be the next fic i write after brooklyn baby 😣😣

TYSM BAE ILYYYYY 💋💋💋

[presleyluvschris]

I love outer banks I would love to know/didn’t really like

give us more backstories… like how the pogues met and became friends

i would not do the pope x kie thing, like not drag it out that long. poor pope. kie and jj just aren’t it . I also would not pair up literally everyone just leave it about friendship like that’s what I loved about the show I would love to know a bit more about and his mum what happened but i think his mom just left when he was little but I would love to know what actually happened . i’d also do some explaining regarding the cameron family and rafes, sarah’s and wheezies mom because they never ever mention her.

i think personally they should of do more episodes per season so we can get character development and some filler episodes like idk just not rush everything like that x

anon!! litterally !! we need to send this to the writers for fourth season.

pope is so underrated too. like what? he's so fine.

i really wanted kie to be one of my favorite characters but i feel like she was toxic when she wanted John B to pick sarah over her? thats starting fires.

also just because she didn't invite you to her party? Like that makes sarah a bitch? You are a grown ass 16 year old why are you acting like you're in kindergarten.

and then she proceeds to call the cops on her 😐 the world does not revolve around kie. Kie drinks beer probably often, hypocrite energy.

and then she makes pope feel bad for her and then luries him in by hooking up and then rejects him after playing with him? Girllllllll

i dont know. I love kie but I dont think she deserved that much time in the show with pope. like broooo just stop dragging it out.

Heres what i assumed about the group. I think the pogues met because john b was friends with JJ natrually growing up, pope probably lived nearby since he "was a pogue just like the rest of us".

Kie was there because "shes not like other girls" and she couldn't get along with anybody at her school which kind of proves something about her......just saying.

Sarah got in through falling for John B and she wanted to live outside the bubble wrap she was in her whole life and she was afraid she could never get out of it, she saw john b as a gateway into a more flowy future of teenage fun.

I think she regretted being a pogue at one time because of all the shit that happened from it. Would sarah be the same person if she didnt be with the pogues?

I think JJ's mom left when he was really little so i think thats why they dont put any backstory on it because he might have just been too young to remember much and theres not much emotion there on JJ's side, and since luke is an abusive asshole, no one is really going to be interested in hearing what he has to say about it regarding his wife.

I think the point of it all is that they basically have all fucked up families which makes them need the pogues more as their family.

I agree with the friendship point! Except sarah and john b, and pope and cleo are my favorite ships.

They have to provide romance in the scene because its what keeps the viewers attracted.

I love popes character development where he finds a girl who loves him for him, and doesn't have to be played with to get her.

I love sarahs character development too, because i think she was taught how to let people in and she got a group of people that she doesn't have to feel like she needs to cut out.

I think Wheezie should join the pogues.

I dont know how i feel about rose enough to determine what i want to hear about sarahs mom.

Ward isn't an asshole, i think he has some actual mental issues that clearly runs in the family that was obviously passed to rafe....

rafe is still hot though xxxx

also is it true that sarah is getting pregnant from jj in fourth season?? Holy shit.

anyway i agree with all of your points and i take the perspective outer banks really seriously because it is one of my main writing points and the better i understand the show and each character the better i can write for you !! 💗💞

[sisyphus-prime]

ANYWAY ASK MEMES ARE FUN! Why don't you do... All the Beast Cookies

YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-

Burning Spice Cookie

How I feel about this character They're Destruction, right? They're gonna be fun! I am curious if they'll go the hothead the design implies, or gradual, painful destruction. probably the former but yk!

All the people I ship romantically with this character None! They aren't released, so I can't say anything this way! I think that the possible ones are Golden Cheese (Because beast/ancient one sided obsession + hatred is fun) or Polybeast (also insanely toxic)

My non-romantic OTP for this character What does Destruction go along with? Deceit! i think that would be funny. Silly little jester and his warlord bestie, getting into a fight because Burning Spice broke the stage out of boredom. again.

My unpopular opinion about this character It'd be really awesome if that was a woman. Yeah I'm aware they're shirtless. tiddy

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. UHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i hope they cause the desert to burn so hot that it puts golden cheese's electronics at risk and that's why she goes and kills their ass

Eternal Sugar Cookie

How I feel about this character Oh she'll be funnnnnn. Sloth. I bet it'll be a whole lotus eaters thing. I've always loved that trope. Silly fun girly with their devil's tail.

All the people I ship romantically with this character None really! Again! not released. I think Moonlight could have potential depending on how this plays out. Weird obsessive hatred with Hollyberry. Polybeasts again

My non-romantic OTP for this character Sloth and Apathy go hand in hand, so I could see them getting along with Mystic Flour Cookie! not entirely with plans, but just general quality time.

My unpopular opinion about this character: She'll be cool, but the nature of Sloth means she likely won't truly be invested in things.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. I hope they're attracting the attention of Hollyberryian ships, causing them to never return, needing Hollyberry to go and kill their ass

Mystic Flour Cookie

How I feel about this character The GIRLLLLLLLL!!!!! Oh she is so normal! so normal i love her. god she's so normal.

All the people I ship romantically with this character One sided obsession with Cacao, i'm gonna keep saying it, Polybeasts. Her and Longan is pretty funny.

My non-romantic OTP for this character Sloth and Apathy baby! I could also see her having been something of a friend to the ancients before she got all fucked in the head. She's like their friend that just stopped showing up one day..

My unpopular opinion about this character She is irredeemable. Sorry

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. I hope she gets stuck in a powerless form and goes and meditates til she crumbles because she can't fathom finding a purpose in life.

Shadow Milk Cookie

How I feel about this character THE gendahflooid of ALL Time. Oh i love him. What a silly silly silly silly silly silly silly billy! I adore this fucker. 100/10. I hope he gets so angry his head esplodes.

All the people I ship romantically with this character One sided obsession with - GASP - change of script, White Lily. Got you. That's a woman liker and he's obsessively angry at HER. Vanilla is a far lesser extent but there, that's more diminutive than seeing him as anything possibly near an equal, which White Lily is now, which pisses him off SO bad. Polybeasts again. I've seen him with that jester dragon, also silly.

My non-romantic OTP for this character Burning Spice has potential! Lies and Destruction are hand in hand!

My unpopular opinion about this character He wouldn't wanna be paternal in any way. Sorry.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. I hope he shapeshifts. he should <3

Silent Salt Cookie

How I feel about this character Very Very cool design. That's a woman.

All the people I ship romantically with this character Polybeasts. They don't seem very allo.

My non-romantic OTP for this character White Lily Cookie. They should percieve it as friendship while White Lily gets more and more uncomfortable.

My unpopular opinion about this character LEsbian aroace

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. I hope they salt the fairy kingdom's fields and cause damage to the entire forest.

[serafilms]

random challengers thoughts after i just watched a sad patrick edit

during/after my first watch of challengers i thought to myself. patrick is the most innocent one. he ain’t done NOTHING WRONG FREE MY BOY. none of them are the villain but if anyone were to be the villain it wouldn’t be him girl. #teampatrick

all these fake bitches on tiktok being like “why is everyone saying art is the villain” but there’s so many people saying that they’ll defend art that like now it’s at the point where there’s nothing to defend. because art being innocent is the now the most popular opinion. well u know what i think that they only say that bc he was a shaggy haired blond little whiny golden retriever boy. #PATRICKFORLIFE

This is like partially a joke i love art 🫶 but PATRICK IS NOT THE VILLAIN U WANT HIM TO BE. art isn’t either (100% innocent as an adult ur honour) but.

the problem with art is NOT that he manipulated his friends into breaking up bc he was selfish (though that was very ehhhhh of him like alright buddy idk like me speaking as a 19 year old with morals sorry guys i think it was a little fucked) the problem comes when he YELLED AT PATRICK TO GET THE FUCK OUT AND THEN DIDNT TALK TO HIM FOR 13 YEARS LIKE GODDAMNNNNNNNNNBNNNNNNNBNBBBNNDNSNSNSN GOD DAMN BRO R U FRRRRRR LIKE WHAAAAATT WHAY THE FUCKKKKK i think he was just closeted and a lil homophobic tbh. like not homophobic homophobic but just a little bit in denial of his own sexuality homophobic.. but like GODDAMNNNNNN AND THEN THE MAN HAD THE NERVE TO BE ALL UP IN PATRICKS FACE IN THE SAUNA

and he was projecting onto patrick his insecurities bc patrick Was in love w art (he made that so clear) but patrick also just in general had more confidence than art which made him insecure his whole life (jerking off story was foreshadowing their future friendship) and so he wanted to split tashi and patrick up bc 1) he saw tashi partially as a trophy that would make him the winner, 2) he did love her to some extent (but there’s only so much love to give when they don’t give quite as much back, also patrick was the glue tbh), 3) he didn’t want patrick and tashi to be together and then he would be left out not only from his bond with patrick but also as a third wheel and a second choice to tashi

but like for Real patrick would never abandon art like that imo. and he had every right to do what he did w tashi (twice). like imagine your best friend of 7 years tries to get with your girlfriend when you thought you were all just chilling, and then when you and your gf have a fight he swoops in and like shields her and pushes you out and then he doesn’t talk to you for years and years and you don’t even really get a proper breakup with him or your girlfriend bc the last time you see them is them yelling at you to get out, so you leave and you lose your best friend ever bc he was being a cunt to you and you lose your girlfriend bc your best friend is a cunt to you. and you have no friends and no family support and so you focus on your career but it lowkey fails bc you’re just not doing ok in general. and then you find out that they’re dating years later and then you see the ex girlfriend who you were actually serious about it and being w her for the first time you thought about lowkey settling down with maybe. and then she’s engaged to the friend. like girllllllll i’d have fucked her too to get back at that man 😭 plus she was like the realest relationship he’s ever had aside from art and like he never blamed her really for cutting him out bc he understood her (but she also was not in the wrong for cutting him out it was just really sad like i felt so bad for patrick throughout the entire movie even though he was kind of a dick in his attitude)

patrick was messy as hell but he was Innocent.

[catcherinwhitebread]

complete track thoughts (while listening):

is this fr abt matty healy

yessss yessss YESSSS I LOCE THIS

liking more than i thought i would

alwyn when i catch you..

good intro

this second verse has gutted me

this is so real

jesus christ help me

OMG I LOVE THIS THE MOST

i hate the british

jaw dropped

IM HAVING HIS BABY NO IM NOT

YES GIRL

hits different living in a conservative town

LOVE STORY PLOT TWIST

so excited for this one

I DID MY TIME

who u running to

FRESH OUT THE SLAMMER OH

AMERICAN DREAM RAHHH

YES ALREADY LOVE

FLORIDA!!!

florenceeeeee

no one asks any questions here

YESYESYESYESBRIDGE

your home is only really a town your a guest in

this song is one hell of a drug

i have never enjoyed florida the way i enjoyed this song

beat yes

how can i be guilty as a sin

girllllllll GIRLLLLL

they’re gonna crucify me anyway

YES GIRL

IF U WANTED KE DEAD U SHOUDLVE JUST SAID

fav so far

YOU SHOULD BE

LETS HEAR ONE MORE JOKE BITCH

BEST SOMG EVER

we should just let her kill him

fuck this guy

fuck god too apparently

GOOD BOY THATS RIGHT

i can make bad guys good for the weekend (no really i can)

maybe i can’t

jesus christ kill me

GET LOVE QUICK SCHEME

OMG OMG OMG FUCKING CRYING

WHATTTTT

A COWARD CLAIMED HE WAS A LION

LOSS OF MY LIFE!?????????

YES U CAN

DANCING AND CRYING AND SMILING

IM SO DEPRESSED I ACT LIKE ITS MY BIRTHDAY

she’s so real

I CRY A LOT BUT I AM SO PRODUCTIVE

lowkey motivated rn

IM MISERABLE AND NO ONE EVEN KNOWS

already killing me

WERE YOU SENT BY SOMEONE WHO WANTWD KE DEAD

omg this bridge

YOU DESERVE PRISON

YOU ARE WHAT YOU DID

already a favorite

HEY YOU

WHO ARE WE TO FIGHT THE ALCHEMY

TOUCHDOWNNNN

hmmmmm football references

REMARKABLE

THIS TOWN IS FAKE BUT YOURE THE REAL THING

STEVIE NICKSS

i might die too

ITS HELL ON EARTH TO BE HEAVENLY

you look like taylor swift

[bellysoupset]

*warning: LONG fangoirl word vomit ahead*

UHM????? oh. my. fucking. god. this was fucking AMAZING????????? 😩😩😩 i literally had to take a sec after reading it before writing this bc the fic was so good it got me speechless. EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT SOUP OMGGGGG 😭 i had kind of daydreamed about how i thought you were gonna go about this request lol and i was already soooo excited about it BUT GOSH somehow THIS WAS EVEN BETTER than what i imagined???????

it had everything i wanted AHHHHand i loved every single part of it 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽 wen being wen (aka adorably looking at trinkets) at the beginning, the nausea in the car + how embarrassed she was at first thinking it was bad gas station food + how chill and comforting vin was being in the car <3333 and then getting home and ma noticing immediately and helping her to the couch and making her tea 🥹 and liv and soph there and then vin noticing the fever and my girl BEING SO OUT OF IT RAHHHHH‼️‼️‼️ emphasis on THIS!!!! wen being so uncontrollably nauseous and dizzy and sick was def one of my fav things especially bc of how put together and in control she usually is (and how she was trying SO HARD to fight it and stay in control like miss girllllllll stop being so real) 😩🫶🏽 and then puking on vin’s lap and then him carrying her and gently telling her not to fight him😭 and then teasing her a lil bit in the bathroom AND THE WHOLE SHOWER SCENE OH MY FREAKING GOOOOOOOODDDDDD dude are you trying to KILL me‼️‼️‼️ 😩😩 FROM THE NAUSEA TO GETTING SICK TO FEELING FAINT TO THE CONSTANT SHIVERING TO HOPING VIN WOULD COME IN TO HIM BEING SCARED AS SHIT TO MA BEING SO WORRIED SHE WAS ALMOST MAD TO VIN GETTING IN THE SHOWER W HER TO WEN FEELING BAD ABOUT IT ALL GODDAMNNNNNN THIS WAS SO TOP TIER SOUP

and THE END was so adorable too 😭😭😭 LIV BEING ADORABLE AS PER USUAL and wen being sooooo embarrassed (again, too real) the whole time and vin just constantly reassuring her and telling her she’s not a burden🥺🥺🥺 and the TEASING AT THE END 😩😩😩😩 everything was just so perfect and exactly what i’ve been CRAVING to read‼️ the angst the fear the worry the uncontrollable sickness the fever the throwing up in the shower the dizziness the fainting the reassurance the hurt the comfort JUST WOW🥹🥹🥹🥹 FOR REAL THIS IS MY FAV FIC EVER AND I WILL BE REREADING IT CONSTANTLY THANK YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH FOR WRITING THIS SOUP YOU ARE THE BEST OF THE BESTTTTT

(i know this is long af but i hope you enjoy my rambling/fangoirling!!! if you don’t pls let me know and i’ll keep it to myself or make it shorter next time LOL i know it’s a lot of text heheh)

ANYWAYS THANK YOU YOU’RE AWESOME KEEP SLAYINGGGGG <3333

🦦

DUDE, ARE YOU CRAZY?? HOW WOULDN'T I LOVE THIS, I'M GENUINELY CONSIDERING JUST PRINTING YOUR COMMENTS AND PUTTING THEM IN A SCRAPBOOK FOR WHEN I'M SAD!!!

Don't you dare stop, they make my entire week.

I am so happy you liked this one this much, because it was tailored for you, like just know it lol. I had your ask open in one tab and then the Sicily Part 6 that you said you wanted it to be similar to in the other tab and then another Wendy sickfic in another tab because I wanted to make sure she was In Character 🙈🙈

I had soooo much fun typing this and I was worried about the length, but if you liked it, then I consider it a win!

I hope 2024 is treating you good so far and that you have a great new year 🦦!!

[fourswords]

Coming into your house and blowing you a kiss. 💗💓💘💖💞💖♥️❤️♥️💓💘💖♥️💓💘💓 Hello, Kate 💖💖💞💓💘💕♥️❤️💗♥️💗💕💖💓❤️!!!! I found a secondhand version of BotW and have succumbed to consumerism, so I'll be able to give you Proper Thoughts on the game uhhhhhhhhhhhh eventually. when it arrives. Anyway, please tell me all about 1986 Zelda if you want because I literally know nothing about her or the OG game, and you're so genius. Also, hysterical to see you complain about BotW's music. Get her ass. Okay love you bye hope you're having a fantastic day 💘❤️💞♥️💗♥️💗♥️💖💓❤️💗

HIIIIII FREYA HELLO ILY I AM WELCOMING YOU INTO MY HOME WITH A VARIETY OF SNACKS AND BEVERAGES AND BLANKETS <33333 also PLEASE let me know how the game is when you play it!!!! i would genuinely love your thoughts on it and on the characters and everything else about it (including the music).

and oh my god. the og princess zelda. my darling dearest. i'm going to have to stick this under a readmore because i'm going to go on a rampage about it i just know it.

okay. so. the original legend of zelda game. the best thing to say about this hyrule is that it's been completely fucking annihilated. people are scattered and living in caves. there is no safe haven anywhere. there are even secret fucking moblins that link can find that are friendlier (they give you free rupees! :]) than the people who've set up shop in caves of their own and the only thing they yell at you is "BUY SOMETHIN' WILL YA!" and like. that's it. your only allies are these weird old people who also live in caves who give you swords sometimes. there's no map there's no towns there's fucking NOTHING. and since it's a game made for the NES in the 80s the only lore you really have is in the original manual for the game, and that's where zelda comes in:

"One day, an evil army attacked this peaceful little kingdom and stole the Triforce of Power. This army was led by Ganon, the powerful Prince of Darkness who sought to plunge the world into fear and darkness under his rule. Fearing his wicked rule, Zelda, the princess of this kingdom, split up the Triforce of Wisdom into eight fragments and hid them throughout the realm to save the last remaining Triforce from the clutches of the evil Ganon. At the same time, she commanded her most trustworthy nursemaid, Impa, to secretly escape into the land and go find a man with enough courage to destroy the evil Ganon. Upon hearing this, Ganon grew angry, imprisoned the princess, and sent out a party in search of Impa."

so the thing about having the entirety of a game's lore be based in a manual is that, essentially, the lore would have to be simplified. the full "story" is exactly two small booklet-pages long and it was going to stay that way because they were just trying to give hyrule a backstory and not write a novel. however. given how fucking treacherous and deserted hyrule is at the beginning of the actual game i think it's pretty safe to say that the war between hyrule and ganon's army lasted a hell of a lot longer than ganon just marching in and taking over everything. at least then there would still be ruins. but anyway. zelda. zeldaaaa my girllllllll the original zelda the one everyone in the fucking fandom consistently forgets about over and over again. she is drawn to be pretty much the exact same age as link in zelda 1 so i think it's safe to assume that they're both ten years old (since the sequel, zelda 2: adventure of link, happens about six years later when link is approaching his 16th birthday as per the aol manual). so it's like. you are a princess and you are ten years old and you have grown up on the legends of a hero that stopped the great evil every time it rose up (the hero of legend, for instance, who is the protagonist in games like a link to the past, oracle of ages/seasons, link's awakening, etc.) but ganon's army is winning and there is no hero in sight and so. what are you supposed to do. what are you supposed to do!!!! you command your nursemaid to escape, to potentially find a new hero to save the kingdom, but when you grew up in hell there's only so much stock you can put in the legends. so you take the triforce of wisdom, the triforce piece that You, Specifically were always meant to be the wielder for, and you shatter it, and you travel throughout the land hiding its pieces so that if everything goes to hell even harder then at least you can say that you tried to stop it. let some other princess be the one to panic and freeze and let the triforce of wisdom be taken. it will not be you. (and it IS implied to be her!!!! SHE is the one who hid them throughout the land! she didn't pass it off to her knights, she didn't have impa do it, no!!! none of that!!!! SHE DID IT!!!!)

and she's not hiding them in random bushes or anything!!! fuck no!!! SHE'S LITERALLY TRAVERSING THE DUNGEONS THAT LINK HIMSELF WILL GO INTO TO RETRIEVE THE TRIFORCE PIECES SHE HID!!!!! she essentially threw her hands up and went FUCK it if the goddesses of old won't send us a hero then i'll just be my OWN hero because i am NOT LETTING GANON GET AHOLD OF THIS TRIFORCE PIECE!!!!! like this girl had to be running across what might be the unsafest version of hyrule in the entire series and fighting all the dungeon monsters and dungeon BOSS monsters and whatnot all to hide the triforce pieces. and she's just a kid like link is!!! and it always makes me wonder. like. if she'd put just a little less stock in the legends. if she'd manage to get her hands on the magical sword and the silver arrows like link did. she would have been JUST as capable of killing ganon as link was. and actually i could go on and on and on about the courageousness of her actions vs. the fact that link actually genuinely only wielded the triforce of wisdom against ganon (which is a HARD left from the fact that. yknow. HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE THE WIELDER OF THE TRIFORCE OF COURAGE ACCORDING TO EVERY OTHER GAME). and then like. the thing is. okay so at the end of zelda 1 when link finally rescues zelda and she calls him the hero of hyrule and whatnot the sprites do a little victory pose where they both hold the two triforce pieces (wisdom and power) over their heads. BUT. the manual states that link quite literally leaves hyrule for a while WITH both triforce pieces. and it makes me wonder......did the triforce of wisdom "reject" zelda in a sense because she shattered it? there's such a gray area when it comes to the first two games because, again, the Lore Is Condensed Within The Tiny Fucking Manual Booklet Pages, but god. can you imagine it. the triforce you broke to protect suddenly deemed you unworthy of being its bearer. or something to that effect. my GOD.

AND!!!! this is only supported by the fact that in the zelda 2 manual, link is stated to have returned to hyrule in order to help the rebuilding efforts (because, as the manual states, "hyrule was on the road to ruin" as if it wasn't ruined already lmao) and in the zelda 2 game itself, LINK STILL HAS THE TRIFORCES OF WISDOM AND POWER!!! (not to mention the poor guy's fucked because he's got a curse on his blood that makes ganon's followers want to sacrifice him to revive ganon but this ain't about him). and combined with the triforce of courage (which he finally gets after six years) he uses it to wake.....another princess zelda. who was in a coma. for centuries. and she was put into this coma during a much happier time in history. and this is where people start to forget about the og zelda and focus on the sleeping zelda from zelda 2 instead because there's a zelink kiss involved at the end but whatever. and HONESTLY it opens up a whole NEW can of worms for the og zelda because god!!! fuck!!! there's now a whole new princess zelda from centuries past who was raised as a "proper" princess who wasn't fighting for her fucking life in dungeons after shattering the very thing she was meant to wield!!! i think about it so much. i wonder if she catches herself staring at this strange new princess zelda who never had to fight anything, who was never captured and kept in an inescapable circle of fire after shattering her birthright, who grew up learning about politics and inter-kingdom relationships while her own studies probably would've been about keeping the kingdom from exploding and imploding and every other type of fucking -ploding in on itself because Everything's Fucked, and thinks: maybe she would have made a better choice than me.

(and then in the other corner you have the now-awakened princess zelda from centuries past, waking up in a world where Everything's Fucked, and looking at the zelda who is her brother's descendant and seeing the strength of her willpower in every move she makes and thinking: she would never have simply stood there and let herself succumb to the magician's spell that made me sleep for generations like i did. but that's another post.)

and also. anyway. unrelated but also related. og zelda is cute as hell. look at her look at my girl:

she's so cute. she must've fucking destroyed so many monsters hiding those triforce pieces. if anything happens to her i'll kill everyone on this planet and then myself. i like to think over the years as link came back to hyrule and started helping hyrule rebuild they became close friends and fight monsters together sometimes. dynamic duo of all time. the feral little hero who appeared out of fucking nowhere like a demon in the night (no literally link has ZERO backstory in these games he's literally just Forest Child Supreme) and the courageous little princess who would have done anything to keep ganon from gaining even more power. someone did a comic on their take of their first meeting and i still think about it sometimes. "i nearly died getting those pieces you hid." "i nearly died hiding those pieces you got." I'LL FUCKING LOSE IT MAN!!!!! I REALLY WILL!!!!!!

ahem. did any of that make sense.

[syxnewt]

girllllllll

so I watched this clip of the news reporter saying "womp womp" and in isolation it's kinda funny like even though it's a horrible thing to say it sounds like he said to reflexively and that's funny like what does that to a person

but I just watched the full clip and no he's fully serious like he said womp womp and meant that shit and that was kinda a hell of a lot less funny man fuck that guy

[take-everything-you-can]

FUCKKKING LLETSSSSSSSSSS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ALL THE GIFS WERE THE REACTIONS THROUGH THIS READ !!!

Sam ........ It's like Voldemort at this point get lost my dude (I've always hated this man .... As per the voice dms lol )

T and her talking about wedding colors sent me like are you fucking for real!!!

Eddie ...................... I ............... No notes that won't send me directly to prison or a psych ward.. (you think she washes the pillow cases ?? Like turns them right side out and is like ? Hmm???? Stiff much ? )

Wayne .. girllllllll we love Uncle Wayne and his big ol' y'all are so blind sounds.... His little tsk or huffs or straight up laughing at Eddie for getting flustered I love.

The mistletoe!! I was like babessssss do it do it for us all!

The nat 20 hip grab 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

The photo box 😭😭😭😭 Eddie defending looking like his dad unfortunately and then she is like not just the eyes babes but the smile like like like and then Wayne being all just wait I got more 😦😦🩵🖤

Rick will not be watching my baby no 😭 nope she made it clear that was a non negotiable for her stand your ground queen !

Grant and Tina definitely have little late night convos like marshall and lily from how I met your mother and bet how long it will take for Eddie or r to make the first move!

So happy for t and Charles like bitch now we get to talk about your wedding colors !!!

And the big moment ........... The shock and awe of him turning into the kiss and just being like fuck it we ballllllllllllllllllllllllll. I love this !

I love this I love you and no matter how your gourgous brain works I will be here with you until I am crawling into the grave you happily dug for me 🫠🫠 @lesservillain my baby gurl you fucking did that and im so incredibly proud of you for taking time for yourself to figure out if this was still in your heart (to my demise and happiness it is ) but most of what i care about is you as a person this just gets tossed in like a spicy little bonus !

I love you my beautiful, good, kind, amazing, sexy girl !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

v. i want to hold the hand inside you

summary: a collection of moments through the holiday season. also a little bit of insight into eddie's pov. cw: smut (not with eddie), male masturbation, sexual fantasies, two idiots in love trope, eddie's mental anguish a/n: hi i'm back. missed you all and this series. hope it lives up to the hype. around 12.5k words. please continue reading after the fic for an important message regarding this series.

Shuffling down the stairs, you're greeted by the smell of coffee brewing and bacon frying in the kitchen. The grumbling in your stomach reminds you that you’d eaten way too much candy the night before, and that real food was much needed if you were going to get through the day.

When you rounded the corner into the kitchen, you were expecting to be greeted by the master chef Charles at the stove. But instead you were greeted by Tonya’s beautiful, slightly confused face. With a rag slung over her shoulder and spatula in hand, you watched her attempt to flip what looked like a very, very fried egg.

“You need some help?” You ask. Tonya jumps, hand on her chest as she catches herself. Clearly she had been in the zone, focused on the task at hand. Although, that didn't seem to keep help her in her food making endeavors.

“Jesus, can you be a little louder when you walk in the room next time?” 

“Sorry Tonnie,” you laugh, moving around her to get a drink from the fridge. “Been working on walking around as quiet as possible so I don’t wake Ed—everyone up when I’m working.”

Tonya's whole demeanor suddenly shifts. After plating the eggs and setting them aside, she turns her whole body to face you. Your eyes go wide as she takes the stance you know so well; the one she takes before she’s about to lecture you.

“While you’re working?” She asks, an eyebrow quirked in a suspicious fashion.

“Y-yeah…" you respond, not liking the way she starts to slowly saunter towards you. "Okay, can we skip the games, please? What’s wrong?”

“Why was there a red cape in your car last night?”

You feel like the room is going to spin. Not wanting to fuss with it you had thrown the costume cape in the back seat when you left Eddie’s last night. By the time you got all of your overthinking in, you’d completely forgotten to grab it and bring it inside. 

“Wha—I, uh—”

Tonya says your name to cut off your babbling. 

“If you wanted to go out and spend Halloween with Sam you could have just told me that.”

“What? Oh, god no.” Your nose scrunches in offense at the mere suggestion until you remember that it’s probably normal to want to spend time with the guy you’re dating. “I mean…I didn’t spend Halloween with Sam.”

“Okaaaay?” She draws the word out, head bobbing as she waits for you to explain yourself. You breath in, looking at her carefully before exhaling with a sigh.

“Promise me you will listen to what I have to say before coming to any conclusions.” 

Tonya says your name with a serious tone. You can see the anger starting to brew in her, and you can only hope that once you tell her everything that’s been going on for the last two months that she’ll understand. The need to rip the band aide off was becoming more apparent, especially when you needed her guidance on some of the thinking you had done.

“Promise me?” You say again, not backing down.

“Ugh, fine.” She walks over to the table and sits down, motioning for you to take the seat across from her. 

“So, I think the first thing I need to clear up is that…I don’t actually have a night job. At least, not in the sense that I’m getting paid. It’s a volunteering position.”

You watch the way her mouth tightens, nostrils flaring as she expresses all her unspoken words with her face. But, she doesn’t say anything so you keep going.

“It’s something that I signed up for at the very beginning of the semester. Granted, it wasn’t supposed to be an overnight thing...but the person I’m taking care of needed overnight care and I just—I couldn’t say no, Tonnie.”

Air blows out between her lips like steam, and you can tell you need to get the rest of the information out to her before she can’t hold it in anymore.

“The reason why I even hid any of this from you is because the person I’ve been taking care of was turned down by everyone else at sign ups…because he was a murder suspect.”

“Oh, no. No, no, no.” Her hands wave in front of her and she shakes her head. “I’m really hoping that I did not hear you right. Because there’s no way you’re telling me that, you, of ALL PEOPLE, have been spending the last two months babysitting a MURDERER?!”

“He didn’t actually murder anyone!” You shout back. Tonya’s eyes roll as she throws her hands up dramatically. 

“What does that even mean?!”

“Eddie was accused of murder, but he didn’t actually do it!”

“Eddie?! Eddie who?!”

“His name is Eddie Munson,” you say, “he was actually framed by the real murderer. The guy tortured him, Tonya! His…his body is covered in scars and…and he ended up loosing his leg. Like, from the knee down. And he was so sick when I got there. He’s come such a long way since then…”

Tonya’s face is like stone, blinking slowly as you go on about Eddie and all the things you’ve helped him accomplish in the last two months. You hadn’t even realized that you’d been rambling until the sound of her bedroom door caught your attention.

“Charles is here?” You ask her quietly after the bathroom door closes. You're shocked when she confirms that he had stayed the night. He'd never stayed the night before, at least while you were there.

“We had a fun night,” Tonya says with a sly smirk. “He’s probably feeling it this morning.”

“Ah, I see,” you nod. The sound of retching coming from the upstairs bathroom had the two of you giggling. Tonya leans in towards you, resting her chin on her hands as she looks at you.

“So,” she starts, “Can I ask you a side question before we get into this Eddie guy?”

“Sure,” you say suspiciously.

“Is Sam real?”

“What?” You chuckle. “Yeah, he’s real. Why do you ask?”

“Well, I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t a lie you made up to go see your little criminal boyfriend.”

You reel back, shocked by the accusations of her statement.

“Eddie’s not my boyfriend,” you assure her. But the look on her face tells you she’s not buying it.

“Really? Because you just talked more about this guy in the last 20 minutes than you’ve talked about Sam since you two started dating.”

“Well…I spend five days a week with him, so of course I have more to say about Eddie than Sam. But…”

“But…?”

“What bit you in the ass this mornin’?”

Eddie stirs his coco wheat's mindlessly as the Andy Griffith’s Show plays on the TV. If you were to ask Wayne, he’d say Eddie was acting like a cat after it got caught in the rain, all pissy and ready to swat and anyone who looked at him.

“Nothin’,” Eddie grumbles, not bothering to look at his uncle as he spoke. Wayne sighed, grabbing the TV remote and turning it off. He shifts forward on the couch cushion until he was sitting on the edge.

“Did somethin’ happen at the Trick r Treat thing?”

Eddie exhaled, slumping back in the recliner dramatically before finally facing his uncle.

“Nothing happened. I just—Did you know she has a boyfriend?”

Wayne’s head tilts to the side. “What? No she don’t? Told me when she started.”

“Well, she must have lied to you because she told Harrington last night that she was seeing some guy named Sam from her school.” Eddie’s arms cross over his chest like a child with an attitude.

“Why’d she tell him that?”

“Because, in typical Harrington fashion, the guy flirts with any girl that crosses his path.”

“So she told him she had a boyfriend?”

“Yep.”

“Maybe she was lyin’ t’em.”

Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up. He hadn’t thought about that. He just assumed you hadn’t told him because you knew he liked you by now and didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

“But what if she’s not?” Eddie’s voice is soft in his vulnerability. He’d told Wayne about his growing feelings for you about a month ago. About how he thought you were beautiful from the first time he’d seen you, but he’d stuffed those feeling down immediately. 

He tried his best to push you away, hoping that you’d run with your tail between your legs after how rude he’d been to you. But you didn’t seem to budge, so he tried to ignore you instead. That obviously didn’t work out either. His hopes went up when you saw him on the floor that faithful night. He thought that you’d be so repulsed by him that you’d turn and run on the spot. 

But, of course you didn’t.

You looked at him as if he wasn’t a broken man who’d been beaten and almost eaten alive by supernatural bats. Who’d been abused and almost murdered by hospital staff who were supposed to be in charge of his life. Who was sent home to a place he didn’t know, with barely anything to his name after the Upside Down swallowed his trailer whole.

In hindsight, he almost wishes you had ran. Because this feeling that he’s had every day since has been more painful than any of his scars or shredded limbs. He wishes you had been shallow and vapid, because he would have a reason to hate you, rather than feel lonely whenever you weren’t around. 

And maybe he’d feel less bad about the times he’s touched himself while thinking about how your body presses against his when you help move him to his chair. Or the way your chest brushes against his shoulder when you’ve put your arms around him while you watch their DnD games. 

Shit, he’d only agreed to do physical therapy in the first place because you’d leaned in front of him and practically begged him. Did you know that he could almost see perfectly down your shirt when you did that? He was glad he did it, though, because the strength that’s slowly being restored to his hands was making it easier to jerk off to the thought of you.

Eddie tried to pushed those thoughts back. He didn’t want to feel that way about you. Well, not in this gross, perverted way at least. You didn’t deserve that. 

“If’n she’s not lyin’, then…well…” Wayne settles into a silence. Eddie feels himself getting upset, head titling back to push the impending tears away before they could spill over. 

It wasn’t fair for him to feel this way. He wouldn’t have had a chance with you even before everything that happened to him, so why was he getting all worked up as if you’d ever seen him as anything other than a pitiful shell of the man he used to be. No matter how much you poured into him, he would never have enough to return the favor.

Eddie had been distant the last few weeks. Not back to his grumpy self, but more closed off than he had been with you lately. Any time you touched him unprompted, he would pull away or make an excuse to move away from you. He still talked with you, but that teasing banter that he would throw your way was few and far between. 

It hurt to feel like you were being locked out again, but you didn’t question it. Eddie didn’t owe you any explanations anyway. But you still couldn’t help to over analyze his behaviors every night before falling asleep.

Even now as you sit with him and Wayne and sort through old pictures that Wayne had found after going through their storage unit. Wayne is doing most of the talking, with Eddie chiming in here and there to give short interjections.

“Eddie, you’re joking,” you gasp.

It was just a shoebox, but it was filled to the brim with pictures of Eddie when he was little. The picture in question that you were absolutely gushing over was of Eddie and a woman that you’d assumed to be his mom by their matching chocolate button eyes. Her hair was wild like Eddie’s; long red curls teased to high heaven that framed her delicate face. Toddler Eddie was on her hip in a Christmas themed outfit, a huge, baby toothed grin plastered on his face as beamed at his mother. The back of the picture read ‘Eddie & Flo Christmas ‘68.’

“I’m not,” he says with little enthusiasm. “Unfortunately, I look just like my dad, besides my eyes. Wish I looked more like her, though.” 

“No, look,” you say, pointing at his moms smile. “You have her smile, too. Dimples and all.”

“Hold on,” Eddie says, taking the box and sifting through the pictures. It took him a few minutes to finally pull out a picture before handing it to you. 

What you weren’t prepared to see was a picture of a man who looked practically identical to Eddie, sans the long hair and clad in a military uniform. Next to him was a younger Wayne Munson, dressed in a leather jacket and with a much fuller head of hair. You studied the picture a bit before flipping it over.

‘Allan and Wayne April 1970 Day of Departure’

“Your dad was in Vietnam?” You ask, looking at the picture again, still mesmerized at the resemblance.

“Yeah, he got drafted and shipped out a month before my 5th birthday,” Eddie said with indifference.

“I thought you could be excused from the draft if you were married with kids?”

“Al and Flo weren’t married,” Wayne interjected. “And Al was dead set Eddie wasn’t his so he didn’t even show up to his birth. I’s there, though, cause I knew Flo wasn’t like those other girls he was chasin’ after. And when I tell you I wanted nothin more's to kick my brother’s ass as soon as I saw that little face for the first time.” 

Wayne grabs the box from the coffee table and shuffles around it a bit until he found a picture. He looks at it for a moment before handing it to you. “Poor Flo did all that time cookin’ that one there for him to come out lookin’ exactly like his daddy.”

The picture was of Eddie’s mother in her hospital bed, wild red hair tied up and looking exhausted. But her smile was wild, and she was flashing a peace sign at the camera. An even younger Wayne was holding a bundled up new born Eddie proudly in his arms, holding him up in a way that shows off Eddie’s chubby baby face. He really did look like his dad, the Munson genes definitely being more dominant.

You flip the picture over to read the back.

‘Florence, Wayne, and Edward May 13th, 1965.’

Wayne fished out more pictures of Eddie as a baby, and you cooed over every single one, much to Eddie’s dismay. Through this you discovered Eddie’s middle name was James after his late grandfather that passed on the strong Munson genes to his father.

You couldn’t help but feel bad for Eddie’s mother, though. She was only 17 when she had Eddie, and her strict parents kicked her out because of it. Thankfully, Eddie’s grandparents took her in and Al apparently came around and stepped up when he held Eddie for the first time. 

They stayed living all together until Al was drafted. But not long after, Eddie’s mom got really sick. She had been hiding it, hoping that it would go away on it’s own, until it had suddenly gotten worse. Wayne moved back home to help raise Eddie when his mother started getting sick. She died in 1971, a week before Al was set to come home from Vietnam. 

“That’s when he started gettin’ in trouble. Flo had whipped him into shape in a way not even the military could accomplish. And when she was gone before he could say goodbye—”

“Can I go outside?” Eddie’s hand wipes over his eyes harshly. He scoots to the edge of the chair and reaches out for his wheelchair. You jump up at his request, getting his chair situated for him before helping him into it. He clung to you for a moment longer than he normally would, but you didn’t mind.

“Let me get your coat,” Wayne says, pushing off the couch. When he’s just out of earshot, you look at Eddie, his eyes glassy and downcast as if deep in thought, and tap him on the shoulder.

“Hey, do you think that when you have kids they’ll be clones of you, too?”

Eddie’s posture straightens, his eyes wide when he meets yours. 

“What? I, um, I don’t—” He clears his throat and shifts in his seat. “I haven’t really thought about it. Didn’t really plan on kids anyway.”

“Oh, really? I guess that’s understandable. Not everyone wants kids.”

“Do you?”

“Hmm, maybe one day,” you shrug. “Not really rushing to have one right now or anything. More focused on school and taking care of you.” Eddie smiles, but ducks his head to hide it from you. 

“Well, I guess I’m good practice for taking care of one,” he says.

“No, you’re way harder to take care of.” He barks out a laugh, rolling away from you to meet Wayne half way to the door. 

While the two of them go outside to smoke, you busy yourself in the kitchen putting away the Thanksgiving dinner you and Wayne had put together, with Eddie’s help on stirring duty. Ben had come by and ate with all of you, seemingly more comfortable being around while you were at the Munson’s residence with his more frequent visits.

It didn’t take you long to clean up. Wayne had apologized all morning for the dinner not being anything fancy, and you reassured him every time that you didn’t care. You’d been used to spending Thanksgiving with just your grandparents, and then just your grandma for so long that you’d never made much of a big deal out of the holiday like others do. 

Sam specifically told you on multiple occasions about how everyone in his family makes a very big deal about holidays. Apparently they were also looking forward to meeting you, which came as a shock considering he hadn’t even asked you to go, he just assumed you would. When you told him it felt like it was way too soon to meet his family, he seemed bummed but thankfully didn’t press further.

“Damnit, I told ya she’d be in here cleanin’ up, Eds,” Wayne hollers from the living room.

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it!”

“We’re gonna have to start paying her if she’s gonna start doing the maid’s job,” Eddie says, rolling into the kitchen and up to the fridge. He goes to grab for a beer, but you call for him, stopping him in his tracks.

“Eddie, if you have a beer this late you can’t take your pain meds.”

“That’s fine,” Eddie says, plucking the beer from the door and presenting it to you. “I wasn’t gonna take it tonight anyway.”

“What? Why?”

“Wanna try and get used to not having it.”

You want to argue with him, but he’s giving you that wet, sad look that he knows will get you to fold. And you do, snatching the beer from his hands and popping the tab open. 

He holds his hand out to grab it from you, but you decide to fuck with him a bit and take a sip of it yourself. It tastes like nasty cheep beer, but you do your best to remain as neutral as possible, even letting out an “ahhh” after you swallow.

Eddie looks up at you with pure shock, frozen in place like he was petrified. It makes you laugh as you place the can back in his hand, waiting a moment for him to grab it before letting go.

“Y-you can have it if you want,” he stutters, not moving.

“It’s okay, Eddie, I was just messing with you,” you say, placing a hand on his shoulder as you walk past him out of the kitchen.

Eddie thrusts sloppily into his folded pillow, held together by his body weight as he lays on top of it. It took a lot of trial and error, but Eddie’s found this to be the most effective way for him to get off when his hands are too sore to just jerk off. 

He didn’t mind it though, because this set up made it feel more real to him. He didn’t have any frame of reference to know what it felt like to fuck a real pussy, but the friction of his pillowcase felt good enough that he was able to bypass the texture if he just focused on the fantasies in his head. 

All of them revolved around you, of course. He tries to stave off of giving into his urges. Especially considering he usually had to look you in the face at some point after. He felt like he was going to give himself some kind of pavlov response if he allowed himself to jerk off from any small domestic gesture that you threw his way.

Today was a bit too much for him, though. He’s happy you came over since he fully expected you to ditch him and Wayne for some other plans.

But you didn’t.

Not only did you come over, but you came over early, dressed up in an outfit that had Eddie fighting off a hard on from the moment you arrived. And basically acted as if you’d been part of the family for years rather than only knowing them for a few months. You were a natural addition to the Munson clan and that played on Eddie's mind a lot when he thought about you like this.

And when you took a sip of Eddie’s beer before giving it to him…Eddie was ashamed to even think about how much that affected him. Not only was it practically an indirect kiss, but he’d never seen you let loose like that, even if it was just a sip. You felt comfortable around him to blur that line of professionalism that you tried to keep up when you cared for him, and Eddie was letting the delusions run rampant.

“Haaa, fuck,” he whines into his other pillow as he ruts into the makeshift pussy that he desperately wishes was yours. He’s imagining you lying under him, his bare chest pressing into your back as he plows into you from behind. He thinks about how you’d be calling out his name. Are you vocal in bed, or would you be biting into his pillow like he is now to keep himself quiet?

Eddie pulls his shirt back up to his nose and your scent that rubbed off on it filled his nostrils, sending him over the edge. He cums suddenly with a low groan, spurts of white cum spilling in between the fold of the sandwiched pillow. His breath hitches, eyes going in and out of focus as he cums harder than he ever has before. 

After catching his breath, Eddie pushes himself over and onto his back. He lays there, waiting for the guilt to creep in like it always does. He thinks back to your conversation earlier, about him wanting kids. It kills him. 

Did you really think he would ever have the chance to have kids? Besides not knowing if his swimmers even work after what he went though, he would have to meet someone who would treat him with even a fraction of the kindness you give him. And then he’d have to convince them that he was worthy enough for their love and not a burden. 

You saying you want kids one day hurt even worse. It was a feasible dream for you, to start a family with someone you loved. Eddie had barely thought about kids, but now he’s laying here thinking about what a normal life would be like with you. A house with a white picket fence, two kids, a dog…

Tears rolled down Eddie’s temples and disappeared into his sweaty hair line. He grabbed the soiled pillow and pulled off the pillowcase, carefully pulling it inside out and tossing it into his laundry basket. He pulled his comforter over himself to hide away from the world. 

The bed shakes as Sam lands on his back next to you. He says…something, but you’re too busy in your own head to catch it. The ache between your legs tries to get your attention as well, but you would rather listen to Sam speak than address that right now.

“Hey, are you okay?” Sam’s hand waves in front of your face and you force yourself to smile when you look at him. “Did I really blow your mind that much?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah,” you nod enthusiastically, probably overdoing it. You feel an ick wash over you when he smiles triumphantly. He leans in to kiss you and you turn your head so that his lips hit your cheek.

“I’m gonna go get us some water. Feel free to use my bathroom to clean up.” You lay still until Sam leaves the room, holding your breath until you’re sure he’s gone. 

Jumping up from the bed, you grab your clothes and quickly redress. You can’t find your tights but at this point you don’t even care, you just want to get out of there as fast as you can. Sam is standing in the hallway with a glass of water when you open the bedroom door. He looks at you up and down with confusion.

“You okay?” He asks.

“Yeah, I, uh…I forgot that I promised to help Tonya put up Christmas decorations tomorrow.” You move past him, but he grabs your arm to stop you.

“Do you have to leave right now?” He asks, a distressed look on his face.

“I’m sorry, but I probably should. Tonya likes to get up early to start the process and--”

“Okay, I understand,” Sam says, taking a deep breath in. “Can I, um, I want—I need to ask you something before you go.”

Your heart feels like it’s dropped into your stomach, nauseating you instantly. You have a sneaking suspicion that you know what he’s going to ask, but you really don’t think you can do this right now.

“Can we talk about it later? I think it’s supposed to start snowing soon,” you say, pulling your arm from his grasp. “Really want to get home before the roads get bad—”

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

The reaction your body had to his question was similar to one you would have if you heard nails on a chalkboard. If the ground opened up and swallowed you whole right now you’d be thankful for a quick escape from this situation. 

You relaxed your body and looked at Sam. He’s a nice guy, truly, but after everything that transpired in his bedroom…

“Sam…”

“Yeah?” His puppy dog eyes are making this harder than you want it to be.

“I….” You sigh, “I need to think about it. I’m going through a lot with finals coming up and taking care of Ed—I mean, Mr. Munson--”

“But you’re almost done with both of those? Christmas break is just around the corner, and I really would like you to meet my family.”

“Wait, what do you mean I’m almost done?”

“Well, you’re finals are, like, a week and a half away. And next week is your last week for the volunteer program so you won’t be needing to go to Hawkins anymore. We called all the families and let them know so that they could make other arrangements a week or two ago.”

All the air around you felt like it was sucked away. Wayne didn’t tell you that he had gotten a call. Was he even going to bring it up? Did he just expect you to up and leave him and Eddie?

“Sam, I really need to go,” you say with a strained breath. You don’t give him much of a chance to answer before you’re grabbing your coat and heading out his front door. Snow was already starting to stick to the ground as you got to your car. Sam stood at his front door, still in his boxers as you got in your car and drove off.

Driving on autopilot, your brain began to recall and process exactly what happened while you were with Sam. He had been off putting ever since you saw him after Thanksgiving, but you almost felt bad for him. All this time you convinced yourself that this really attractive guy was giving you attention and you just we’re being grateful for it. 

But today solidified for you that you couldn’t deny the way you were feeling anymore. Not when the whole time the two of you were having sex, you couldn’t get Eddie out of your head. Every touch, every thrust, you could only think about Eddie being the one on top of you making you feel good. You’re pretty sure you would have cum if it was actually Eddie.

The feelings you had for Eddie sat behind a glass wall inside your mind ever since you were able to pour your heart out to Tonya. But, no matter how much you wanted to, you knew you could never act on them. It would go against every code of conduct for you to have a romantic relationship with a patient. You could potentially get kicked out of nursing school if you were ever found out.

Not to mention you had no idea if Eddie would even accept your feelings. Sure, he has come out of his shell and let you into his life in more ways that you had imagined when you first met him. But, you didn’t want to delude yourself into thinking it was anything deeper than an appreciation for the care you’ve given him. Eddie and Wayne were good people, and you didn’t want to mistake that kindness for anything more than what it was.

But, fuck, did it suck to find out you might only have one more week to spend with them.

Between the thick snowflakes and the racing of your mind, you didn’t notice the way the road was getting icier as the snow continued to fall. A turn snuck up on you in the heavy snowfall and you slammed on the brakes to slow down, but your car continued to slide across the snowy road. 

Your car fishhooks before the back end whips around, sending you spinning into a ditch. It’s not a deep one, but the lack of traction under your tire sends them spinning with barely any movement from your car. You curse under your breath, all of your emotions bubbling up until you smack your steering wheel out of frustration.

After taking a few minutes to cool off, you take a look around you to assess your surroundings. It’s hard to see much, the back road you’re on has no streetlights and you’re not sure if you’d be able to see any house lights even if you were in someone’s yard. You start to panic, unsure of what you’re next move should be. You don’t have enough gas to wait out the night, but you should still have an emergency blanket in your trunk.

You have to hype yourself up to leave your car, moving as fast as you could to the back. As you went to open the trunk, fumbling with your keys lead to dropping them in the white snow at your feet. Your eyes stung as your tears began to gather, the cold wind instantly chilling them. 

Without a second thought, you let out a loud scream into the dark night sky. You felt around for your keys, the cold metal biting your already cold hands as you finally opened your trunk, only to find it empty. That’s when you remember that you had taken the blanket out of your trunk and thrown it in your back seat for the trunk r treat night.

The trunk of your car slams hard enough to make the car shake, and you practically rip the door off the hinge when you grab the blanket.

Just as you’re about to get back in your front seat whe a light comes into view from the down the road. Relief washes over you when you can see it’s a car coming your way. You jump up and down, waving your hands around to get the cars attention, the big truck rolling to a stop next to you.

“Are you okay, darlin’?” A little old woman’s voice calls from the rolled down window.

“No,” you yell with a pathetic sniffle. The driver side door of the truck opens and a little old man jumps out and rounds the front. He lets you inside and you slide into the bench seat between the two.

The couple apparently heard you scream from their house and came out to check what was going on. The snow was so thick you didn’t even realize their house was only a few hundred feet away from your car. The woman made you a hot drink as you used their phone to call for someone to pick you up.

“Hello?” Wayne’s gruff voice could have been intimidating to hear if it was anyone else calling the Munson house this time of night.

“Wayne, it’s me.”

You thank the older couple profusely for everything before bounding out to the truck waiting for you in their driveway. It had taken Wayne almost 45 minutes to get to you with all of the snow, but he promised he would get to you even if it took hours.

When you pulled open the passenger door, you were surprised to see Eddie sitting there with a worried look.

“Eddie, I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Boy was worried sick ‘bout’cha,” Wayne calls from the other side of Eddie.

“Wayne,” he groans, scooting over on the bench seat to make room for you. 

“Aw, that was really sweet of you to be worried about me,” you tease, leaning your head on his shoulder to push his buttons a little bit more. Eddie adverts his gaze, mumbling a whatever under his breath making Wayne chuckle.

Wayne backs out of the driveway and starts the journey to Tonya’s. The conversation is light until Wayne asks what you were doing out so late at night during a snow storm.

“I was out with some of my classmates,” you lie, not wanting to bring up being with Sam. The thought of him only brought all of the thoughts you had earlier in the night to the forefront of your mind, and you were suddenly very aware of how much of your body was touching Eddie’s in this cramped seating arrangement. 

The chill of the night had been cut by his natural body heat against you, making you subconsciously curled into him at some point during the drive. You went to pull away, but his body started to move with yours until he was leaning into you.

“Sorry,” he said, trying to adjust himself, “I usually lean against the door to keep my balance.”

“Oh my god, Eddie, I’m sorry,” you say, moving closer to him again. “I would have sat in the middle if I had known.” 

“It’s okay,” he says quietly before you felt his body weight leaning against you again. 

The small talk dwindled into a peaceful quiet as Wayne drove the country road with ease. The snow has started to ease up, almost completely stopped by the time you saw the city marker indicating you were close to being home.

As you were leaning into Eddie’s shoulder, you felt a bit of weight fall on top of your head, your vision slightly obstructed by curly brown hair that fell over your face. Eddie’s light snores next to your ear was all the confirmation you needed that he’d fallen asleep and was using you as a pillow. 

A warm, bubbly feeling filled you at the sudden closeness. Even a small interaction like this made you feel a million times more exultant than you’ve ever felt with Sam. Or anyone for that matter. 

“Wayne,” you called to the older man, wanting to distract yourself from your thoughts. He hummed in response, his hat covered head tilting slightly in your direction while his eyes remained on the snowy roads. “Tonight one of my…friends from class, they mentioned something about this week being the last week of our volunteer work.”

Wayne went rigid in his seat, shifting to sit upright again. He cleared his throat, visibly becoming more distraught with each passing second.

“Yeah, I guess that’s right, isn’t it? I, um…” Wayne ran a hand over his mouth, rubbing it back and forth against the stubble before it landed back on the steering wheel. 

“’ve been-- been trying, ya know, to get someone to take over nights. I thought about askin’ Hop, but he’s done enough for us. Plus he’s got family now, so s’not fair to ask him. Could come off the nights, but that shift diff is really gettin’ us by.” Wayne nods his head to the side, “Ed says he can stay home by himself, but I just…I can’t have em fallin’ and not bein’ able to get emself up. Lord forbid he fall and break his hip er somethin’.”

“So…it sounds like you haven’t found anyone?”

Wayne sighs, shaking his head. “Well, that’s not…” He pauses, letting out a huff of air through his nose. “There is someone who is willing to come a couple nights a week if we need ‘em…”

“But?” You press, curious as to who this person might be.

“But…I’ll just say he’s not my first pick to take responsibility for anyone.”

“I see,” you say, looking down at where Eddie’s thigh is pressed against yours, the end of his jeans smoothed over the amputation spot where you’d sewn the end shut for him.

“Can I ask why you didn’t ask me if I could keep coming over?”

Wayne was still, like he was holding his breath. 

“I, um, we…”

“It’s okay,” you cut him off. “I shouldn’t have put you on the spot like that. If you don’t want me to keep coming I totally understand--”

“No, no! That’s not it at all,” Wayne says defensively. “We both kinda assumed that you weren’t…allowed to.”

“Oh…well I don’t think there’s anything that says I couldn’t keep coming over? It’s not like I’m being paid, so I don’t think I’m violating any of my school’s rules. And he’s been doing so well, it wouldn’t be any different than if anyone else came over to stay with him.”

The truck was quiet for a moment, except for the directions you gave Wayne as he turned into Tonya’s neighborhood. Once he pulled into the empty driveway, he shift the old beater truck into park and turned to look at you. You must have been quite a sight sitting there with his nephew practically on top of you as he snoozed away. But you still smiled up at him, even as he shook his head at the two of you.

“So, I don’t want you to say yes just because I told you I was havin’ trouble. Okay? Promise me if you say yes that it’s not outta pity.”

“I promise,” you say, crossing your fingers for him to see.

“Alright, well, if it’s not gonna cause you any issue, would you be able to keep comin’ down to stay with Ed at night? It doesn’t have to be every day. Like I said, I got someone who said he can stay a night or two a week if we need ‘em—”

“Can I ask who it is you’re talking about?”

“It’s, uh, it’s a guy Ed went to school with. He’s a little older--names Rick—they’ve been friends since Eddie was a freshman—”

“Rick? Like Reefer Rick?” You question, Eddie’s weight on you being the only thing keeping you from jumping out of your seat.

“Well, yeah, that’s him. I guess Eddie must’ve talked bout him by now.”

“He hasn’t told me much about him. But, he did come over one day after you’d already left for work when the boys were over.”

“Ah, yeah, I forgot Eddie told me he came by,” Wayne nodded.

“I guess I understand why you don’t want him to be the one to stay over.” 

“Yeah, he’s just…not a very responsible kid,” Wayne says with a shake of his head.

“That’s like…the nice way to put it, I suppose.” 

Eddie suddenly lifts his head from your shoulder, his tired, confused eyes scanning his surroundings before looking at you. He smiles, breathing in harshly as he stretches, one arm going forward and the other behind you. 

“Hi,” he breathes out, his voice groggy and low from just being asleep. It does that thing to you where it goes straight from your ears to between your legs. 

“Hi Eddie,” you giggle, looking up at his dopey, half asleep still expression. Wayne clears his throat and Eddie’s whole body turns to look at him, then all around once more as if he’s only just noticing his surroundings for the first time.

“Where are we?” He asks with pinched brows.

“My house,” you say, taking that as your cue to grab your things and exit the vehicle.

“Shit, that was a quick drive,” Eddie says running a hand over his eyes.

“Quick only cause you used that poor girl like a mattress while you slept,” Wayne quips. 

“I did? Damn, I’m sorry,” Eddie apologizes, his eyes wide as if panicked.

“Oh, I didn’t care,” you say as you opened the car door, the cold air hitting you straight to the bone and making you shiver. But even with the winter air trying to turn you into a popsicle, you still took your time getting out, not wanting to make Eddie lose his balance and fall. 

Once Eddie was situated back in the passenger seat, you gave the two men your goodbyes, promising Wayne to finish the conversation when you come by on Monday.

The Munson men waited in the drive way to make sure you got inside okay, waving back to you as they took off down the road.

Every day for the next week felt like a rollercoaster. 

Sunday consisted of Tonya taking you to get your car and you ignoring phone calls from Sam. You and Tonya also decorated the house together, so you technically didn’t lie to Sam when you left.

Monday you were almost late to class, doing your best to wait until the last second to pull into the schools parking lot so as to avoid Sam in case he was waiting for you. You felt bad for not giving him an answer before you left him on Saturday. But after an all day conversation with Tonya that started with telling her that you couldn’t get Eddie out of your head while you were having sex with Sam and ended with you guys talking about what colours you think Eddie would like if you ever got married one day, you figured you should probably cut things off with him.

You were never good at telling anyone no, this much you knew about yourself. And if you were completely honest, you were a little worried that if you didn’t wait until the right time that Sam might puppy dog eye you into changing your mind. But, you had to be strong. If you could just get through until next Wednesday after finals…

Speaking of finals. After some discussion with the Munson men, it was decided that you would keep coming to stay with Eddie over night until further notice. Both of them seemed to be relieved, although Eddie did say he wanted to keep working on building his strength so that Wayne would feel comfortable enough to let him be alone at some point in the future.

Once that was settled, you immediately made a deal with Eddie, making him your personal exam study buddy. Every day he quizzed you, went through flash cards with you, and looked over your homework for you, handing it back if he didn’t think the answer you gave matched what the textbook said.

“I feel like I could be a nurse after all of this,” Eddie said, placing the thick deck of flash cards down on the side table. The flipping between the cards had been serving as a good exercise for building up his hand dexterity, but often left them a little sore by the time you’d gone through all of them.

“I think I’d pay good money to see you in one of my school’s nursing uniforms,” you tease, standing up to refill his cup.

“Good money, huh? Like, maybe a college tuition’s worth?” He calls back from his chair. You bark out a laugh.

“You’d have to put that uniform to good use for me to shell out that kind of cash, if you know what I mean.” Eddie howls at your suggestive words.

“Don’t know how good of a dancer I’d be with only one leg, sweetheart!”

After a long week of studying, Friday finally rolled around and it was time to fulfill your part of the bargain. 

With Eddie in the passenger seat, the two of you set off towards Castleton Square in Indianapolis. The roads were busy, full of people with the same idea as you and Eddie; last minute Christmas shopping. 

You’d lied to Wayne about where you were going per Eddie’s request. He knew that if he told Wayne where he was going that he would try and give him money to buy his gifts. 

But ever since his disability checks (finally) started coming in, Eddie had secretly been saving some on the side so that he could get some things for everyone for Christmas.

That included Wayne, and he wasn’t about to use the man’s own money to buy him a Christmas gift. So, as far as Wayne knew, the two of you were going to see Grant and his girlfriend's new apartment. 

“Damn, this place is packed,” Eddie said, head on a swivel as you tried to navigate the mall’s parking lot without taking out a pedestrian. 

“No kidding,” you say, pulling up towards one of the mall’s entrances. 

“I’m gonna let you out here,” you say, flipping on your blinkers. Once Eddie is situated in his chair, you wait for him to wheel inside the first set of doors before taking off to park. 

After 20 minutes of searching and briefly getting into it with a 70 year old over a handicap spot, you finally make your way to the mall entrance. It was just as crazy inside of the mall as you’d expected it to be with Christmas only a few more days away. People of all different background suddenly become unified by their arms being full of copious amounts of shopping bags. 

Eddie sat just inside the doors, eyes flickering across his surroundings, as if anticipating something. But as you enter into the crowded mall, his anxiousness seems to melt away as soon as his gaze meets yours. 

“You okay?” You ask, grabbing your purse from his lap. 

“Yeah, yeah,” he says, waving his hand at you. “I’m just…scoping the place out. For stores to shop in.” He saves himself at the last moment and you decide to let that excuse be enough for you.

To say the mall was pure chaos was an understatement. Many of the stores were restocking shelves at a record speeds, people fighting over toys and clothes and shoes that they HAD to have, lest little Tommy or Susie not get everything on their Christmas list. Every bench was filled to the brim with husbands and dads left in charge of bag duty while their wives wrack up their credit cards in the name of Christmas spirit.

Thankfully, no one wanted to be the person that's a dick to the guy in the wheelchair during the holiday season, so navigating the crowds was a little easier than you anticipated. The two of you bobbed and weaved through the stores, picking up a few things here and there for your respective friends and loved ones. Eddie was even brave enough to do a little shopping on his own while you ran to the bathroom.

Once the two of you regrouped, you took in Eddie’s haggard appearance and decided to call for a cookie break.

“Damn, what do they put in these things?” Eddie asks, his eyes closing as he takes another bite of his double chocolate cookie.

“I don’t know,” you say, sitting on the edge of a cement planter, not a single available seat in sight, “but whatever it is should probably be illegal. I could probably eat 10 of these things.”

“Mmm, agreed,” he says with a mouth full of cookie. 

The two of you sit and enjoy your treats in silence. Not out of neglect for the other, but out a mutual curiosity as you people watch.

 It was interesting to come to your own conclusions about people with only a snapshot of their lives like this, and it makes you wonder how people must be perceiving you and Eddie together. Are people assuming the two of you are dating? You couldn’t blame people for thinking that, but what else were they thinking about you? Do the two of you even look good together?

“Look mommy! What is that?”

The voice of a little boy catches your attention. A small pointed finger in your general direction makes you feel uneasy as you automatically assume the child must be pointing at Eddie. Sure, a man in a wheelchair has the potential to puzzle a child, but you didn’t know how Eddie would react to this kind of attention in a raw, childlike form.

“That’s called a mistletoe, dear,” the stressed mother answers, eyes looking your direction for a brief moment. Except, you notice her gaze lands just above you, prompting you to tilt your head back. And you’d be damned to find a small mistletoe handing from a thin string from the ceiling tile above you. 

“Huh,” you hear Eddie say next to you. The sudden realization that the mistletoe is hanging above yours and Eddie’s head has heat rising to your cheeks. You keep your head locked while your eyes shift to look at Eddie out of your peripheral. 

Sure enough he was looking at it, too. 

“Didn’t see that there before.” The words spill from your mouth without much forethought. Eddie clears his throat, and you steal another quick glance at him. His cheeks have an ever so slight pink tint to them, which only makes your stomach do flips.

Eddie has play flirted and said his fair share of raunchy jokes with you in the recent weeks. Never really giving as much of a hint of embarrassment in his actions, you assumed that he felt comfortable enough with your…friendship? That he didn’t care to treat you like one of his boys.

Given your newly realized feelings, it’s admittedly stung a bit. However, the reaction he’s giving now at being caught under a mistletoe with you is only fueling any delusions that you’ve ever entertained between the two of you.

“Me—me either,” he stutters, his eyes shifting down to the floor tiles beneath him. His bashfulness drives you crazy, and you have the sudden intrusive thought to just kiss him. And you almost consider it, if it wasn’t for the potential awkwardness that would result from your potential misreading of the moment.

“Have-have you, um, ever…you know?” Eddie chokes on almost every word, leg bouncing against the pedal as he speaks.

“I’m sorry, have I ever—?”

“Ever kissed. Like, under the mistletoe or whatever.” Eddie clarifies, gesturing to the decoration while still avoiding eye contact.

“O-oh, um,” you think for a moment of every kiss you’ve ever had in your life and suddenly blanking. “Maybe once or twice. In, like, middle school or high school. What about you?”

Eddie shifts in his chair, “No, no, it’s…I’ve not before. Not that I wouldn’t,” Eddie looks at you, then turns away again. “I mean, I’ve never been under one with someone before.”

“Do you want one?”

Eddie stills, blinking slowly as he processes your words.

“Do I want a kiss?”

You nod.

“I mean I guess I wouldn’t be against—”

Eddie is quieted by the sudden contact. You press your lips against his cheek, landing on the edge of the large scar. It’s only for a moment, but it feels like a lifetime to Eddie. 

When you pull away, you do your best to maintain composure. Giving him a forced smile, you rise from your seat to look at him straight on.

“There you go,” you say, hands landing on your hips. “Now you can say you’ve had your first mistletoe kiss.”

“Eddie, Eddie, shhh it’s okay.”

Pulling him into you, you run a hand up and down his back soothingly in an attempt to calm Eddie’s still sleeping form. Screams of terror begin to fade out into small moans and whimpers the more you comfort him. 

Slowly he wakes, his arms wrapping around you as he begins to sob. You don’t ask him about his dreams, or rather, his nightmares. You’re sure that it would only make things worse, so you just let him cry himself back to sleep against you.

“—Oh, shit, sorry.”

Your eyes shoot open at the sound of Wayne’s voice. You hadn’t even realized you’d fallen asleep, still leaning against the head of Eddie’s bed as he snored in your lap.

“No, it’s okay,” you whisper yawn, gently lifting Eddie’s head until you could place a pillow under it. Tiptoeing out of Eddie’s room, you join Wayne in the hallway, who looks like he just got home.

“Sorry if I woke ya,” Wayne says in a low voice.

“It’s okay, really,” you say rubbing your eyes. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep. He had another night terror so I was just trying to settle him down s'all.”

Wayne hums, a hint of disbelief in his tone. You thought about pressing the matter, but figured doubling down would only push Wayne into believing whatever he already convinced himself more. Besides, getting a couple more hours of sleep before the weekend officially started sounded like something you wanted to take advantage of.

When you did finally wake up, you did your normal Saturday morning routine before your morning shift at the coffee shop. After getting dressed, you place a full glass of water and a little cup full of his morning meds on Eddie’s nightstand and pull out a fresh pair of clothes for him to put on after he wakes up. As you go to leave, you glance over to the newly wrapped gifts that sit below the Munson’s Charlie Brown inspired Christmas tree and think about how you wish you had seen Wayne’s face when he saw them earlier. 

Your work day flew by. The nonstop in and out of shoppers getting their morning caffeine fix or their afternoon refill kept you constantly moving. And before you knew it, you were grabbing your own cup to go and heading out the door to trek the the almost 3 hour drive from work to your home town.

Once you made it to Anderson, you stopped by a local flower shop, one that you’d been going to since you were a kid, to pick out some nice flowers to leave at the graves of your parents and grandparents. The owner made some small talk with you, asking about school and how Tonya was doing.

The mentioning of your friend reminded you that you still needed to give her the gift you’d gotten her before she left to visit Charles' family for the holiday. You were thankful that the Munson’s asked you to join them Christmas day, otherwise you’d be spending the holiday by yourself for the first time in your life.

With your flowers in hand, you placed each bundle at the graves. You spent a good amount of time with each one, talking with the markers as if your loved ones were there and listening. You’re not sure how long you were there. But eventually the cold became too much and you had to leave. 

Driving out of the cemetery was always really hard. Your parents had been gone long enough now that you’d come to peace with them being gone. It still hurt, but didn’t feel as much like salt in a wound as your grandparents. But, the deep sadness you normally felt was lighter than usual. The thought of your next destination—back to the same mall you had spent the evening with Eddie in—made you feel like you had a purpose for the first time in a long while.

You’re sure he hadn’t noticed, but you had kept your eye on Eddie as he shopped around. Anything he took interest in as the two of you perused the mall you took note of, fully planning on returning to pick out some to gift him. You doubt that he go you anything, but that didn’t really matter to you. You wanted to get him things he wanted, knowing he wasn’t going to spend the money on himself.

“What’s W.A.S.P?” Tonya mumbles through a mouth full of sugar cookie as she flips a cassette case in her hand. Her eyes go wide as she reads the track titles on the back.

“They’re a metal band,” you say, grabbing it from her and centering it the middle of your wrapping paper. “Jeff gave Eddie a shirt of theirs, so I’m guessing he must like them.” 

“Girl, one of those tracks was called Ballcrusher,” she says with a concerned look that made you laugh.

“Hey, I’m not here to judge,” you shrug, wrapping the cassette nicely and laying it next to a few more that were already wrapped. “It’s cooler than the ovenmits you got Charles.”

“Excuse you, he asked for new mits.” Tonya points her half eaten cookie at you before taking another bite. “And I think they fit his personality very well.”

“They’re plain beige,” you say monotonally.

“Exactly,” Tonya nods with a smile. “Plain and beige, and safe.”

You tsk and roll your eyes, mumbling a little whatever as you organize your gifts. Some might say you went a little overboard for someone who you’ve only been taking care of for just shy of 5 months. But, it was hard to narrow anything down when you envisioned Eddie’s face as he opened all of his new possessions. It was enough to justify the…8…9…11 things you got for him. 

“Can I tell you something…”

You look over at Tonya, who seems to be unable to contain a smile as she waits for you to answer.

“Of course,” you say, turning to give her your full attention.

“Okay, so, I know it’s the holiday season or whatever, and I could totally be wrong. But…”

“But?”

“But…” She takes a deep breath in. “...I think Charlie is going to propose to me at his family’s Christmas.”

You shoot up straight in your chair. A few months ago you might not have been so keen on this speculation, but the last few months Charles seems to have loosened up a bit. You also stopped caring about him taking your parking spot considering you were hardly here much anyway between school, work, and being at the Munson’s. 

“Oh my god. What? Why do you think that?”

“So, we went and did some Christmas shopping at that new outlet mall the other day. And while I was in the bathroom, he thought he would be slick and went into a jewelry shop. When I came out I saw him through the window and I’m, like, 99 percent positive he was looking at rings!”

The two of you gush and squeal over the prospect of Tonya’s future nuptials. Talks of colours and styles of dresses fill the room as the two of you talk for hours. 

“You know,” Tonya starts from the other side of the shower curtain, “Even if you are the maid of honor, I’m putting my foot down about one thing.”

“Oh, yeah,” you ask before spitting out your tooth paste into the sink, “And what might that be?”

“If you plan on bringing Eddie as a plus one, I have to at least meet him once before the actual wedding.”

You feel your cheeks heating up a bit. “I…I don’t see why that couldn’t be arranged—”

“Ideally, I’d also like the two of you to have confessed your love for each other by then, too—”

“Stoooooooop, you don’t know that he’s in love with me. This could be totally one sided.”

“Or,” Tonya pokes her head out from the curtain, “he could be completely head over heals for you and one of you just needs to make a move already.”

“What the—do you need help?” Dustin moves towards you to help with the balancing act of carrying all your presents into the Munson house. He grabs a few gifts and ushers you inside. 

“Thanks Dustin,” you say, heading towards the Christmas tree that is filled even more so now than it was when you left Saturday morning. “It’s starting to look like Santa wont have any room to bring presents.”

“We’re going to take care of most of that tonight,” Jeff says with a smile as he pushes Eddie’s chair into the living room. 

 Eddie looked very handsome tonight in his red sweater and black slacks. It even looked like he took his time to properly do his hair today. You loved when Eddie would let you get his curls looking just right with a little product and styling.

“Hey,” he waved to you, more reserved than his normal goofy self.

“Well, hey there hot stuff. You look really nice tonight,” you say, leaning in to give him a hug. He went rigid for a moment before melting into the embrace. 

“About time you got here,” Mike calls from the kitchen, causing you to jump back. “You better hurry up and get some of this pizza before Gareth freaking eats it all.”

“Dude, I’m hungry!” Gareth shouts defensively. Will puts a hand on his shoulder to comfort him as everyone laughs them off.

“Where’s your friend,” you ask the room, scanning it for a new face. The boys said they had convinced their friend Lucas to finally come to a Hellfire meeting after several long months.

“He should be here soon,” Dustin says in an overly reassuring way.

“Yeah, I’ll believe it when I see it,” Mike scoffs.

“You were there, dude. He said he would come.”

“He said he would think about it. Never said he was gonna show up for sure.”

“If Sinclair shows up, we’ll greet him with open arms,” Eddie speaks up, “And if he doesn’t…well,” the room stills,”...there will always be other Hellfire Club meetings.”

Before the game begins, the boys take turns passing around gifts to each other. You’ve never seen so many sets of colourful dice in your entire life, but they all seemed very excited to receive them. Eddie was given a few band shirts and some cool looking records as well. He was so grateful for each gift he was given, a constant roll of thanks coming from him.

For a moment, you thought he might be getting overwhelmed when you saw a him wipe away a tear. You rest your hand on his arm, but he waves you off and reassures that he’s just really, really happy. It made your heart feel full to see him in such a good place. The amount of growth he’s done in such a short time never ceases to amaze you.

Eventually the game started rolling. You took the opportunity to clean up the mess of wrapping paper that was littered across the living room. The boys tried to get you to join them, but you told them that you wouldn’t be as fun to play with since you’d ask so many questions.

But Eddie still managed to keep you returning to the table. A few beers deep, he decided to skip his nighttime pain med. This led to his hands starting to ache (allegedly), which meant he needed you to roll his dice for him. Even if you knew it was just his way of getting you to hang out and avoid the pile of laundry that was staring you down, you let him have his fun and played along.

“Another 20!” You shout, jumping up and down. Eddie laughs manically while the rest of the table groans and protests.

“Maybe it’s a good thing she didn’t play with us,” Dustin says shaking his head. You stick your tongue out at him and he makes a face back at you.

But the feeling of something touching your back pulls you from the playful banter. Looking around, you realize Eddie has his hand resting on your lower back, rubbing small circles there as he refocuses on the game. It’s not an unwelcome touch by any means, but it does feel very intimate all things considered. 

And it’s only made worse as his hand moves completely across your back, not stopping to trace back and almost hooking you around the waist. He pulls you closer to him until your bodies are flush, besides where the wheelchair separates you. His head rests against you, all of his attention on the game, making the action feel like a subconscious move. 

You weren’t going to make a scene about it, so you instead embrace the affection and let your hand rest on his opposite shoulder. From the corner of your eye you see the smile on his face grow until his dimples are on full display.

At the end of the night, the boys made their exit, leaving the pizza and drinks for you and Eddie to indulge in for the next day. Lucas never showed, but Dustin and Mike seemed determined to make him come out soon.

Once the boys were loaded up and down the drive way, you went straight to the sink to get to work on the dishes. But, before you could get passed the threshold of the kitchen, Eddie gently grabbed your wrist to still you.

“What’s wrong Edward?” You tease. His flush cheeks told you that he let himself go a little more than usually when he drinks.

“Shhhh don’t say my name like that,” he says with a slur of his words.

“Why not? It’s you’re name isn’t it?”

“Makes me feel like I’m in trouble or something.”

“Oh, do you feel guilty about something?”

You didn’t think that your words would hit any chords with Eddie. But the silly outward expression suddenly turned into one of shock. The air shifted in a spit second and you were instantly on damage control.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, fully facing him. Eddie looked like he was on the verge of tears, eyes getting glassier by the second. His body moves as a sob escapes from him, and any resolve Eddie had was gone as he lets everything go.

You crouch in front of him, hands on his shoulders as he begins to wail, body shaking as he lets everything out.

“H-he didn’t--did’t-didn’t show--show up because of me!” The shaky words come out, and you instantly realize the error of your wording.

You pull him into you, letting him cry into your shoulder as you pet his hair, holding him tightly to comfort him

“Shhh, Eddie, nooo,” you speak low next to his ear. “You’re not to blame for what happened. You were a victim, too, Eddie. There isn’t anything you could have done—”

“If I had just died—if Dustin had just left me there instead of finding Steve and Robin…They-they—” 

Eddie starts to hyperventilate. His head lifts from your shoulder as he struggled to get his breath. You jump to your feet and run to the kitchen to grab a paper bag that had been left from the gas station beers. You run back to him and instruct him to breath into it, coaching him to imitate you as you demonstrate taking deep breaths.

After a few minutes, Eddie is able to somewhat calm himself down. Tears still rolling down his cheeks, he leans back into his chair, running his hands over his face and through his hair. You can tell he’s avoiding looking at you. But you’re not sure if its out of shame or if he’ upset with you.

“Eddie?” You ask quietly. He flinches, but slowly lowers his head until he’s facing you, his eyes looking downwards rather than at you. But it’s good enough for you.

“Eddie, I’m sorry—”

“Don’t.” His voice is still wobbly, eyes closing again as he breathes in.

“No, Eddie, you need to listen to me. Okay?”

Eddie looks at you, almost through you, but you take the silence as the signal to continue.

“Eddie…I know it might be hard to understand. But…whatever happened back in March…it’s not your fault.” His eyes shift and he starts to blink rapidly, but he doesn’t speak. “I can understand why you think that your friend is mad at you, but I think you know he’s not. He’s just worried about your other friend, Max. And whatever happened to Max…you didn’t force that monster to do that to her. Nor did you make him hurt the other victims.”

Eddie takes in a sharp breath, coming out haggard as you can tell he’s trying to hold back from crying again.

“And whatever happened to you…” You take his hands in yours, looking at the scared skin that decorates it. You let your hands fall against his thighs, just above where his leg is amputated. “Was not your fault.”

“You’ll never understand,” he says suddenly, catching you off guard. “You don’t know what actually happened.”

“Then, tell me Eddie. Help me understand.”

Eddie’s eyes scan your face. Then his head shakes, his curls whipping around as he does.

“I can’t. Even if I wanted to I…I just can’t.”

You nod, “And that’s okay. You don’t have to tell me. Because I don’t think my mind would change even if I did know.”

“Can I go outside?” He asks, pulling his hands from yours.

“Sure,” you say with a smile. “Maybe we can get you showered and ready for bed after?”

“Yeah, okay,” he says, pushing himself to the door. 

“Just hand me the lighter, asshole.”

Gareth’s hand reaches across the coffee table impatiently for Eddie to hand him the bright red lighter after the joint they were passing around had gone out.

“Nope, only people who tell the truth get to use my lighter,” Eddie says holding the lighter to his chest.

“Eddie, don’t press him. He doesn’t want to talk about it,” you say, taking a sip from your concoction of a drink that Grant’s girlfriend, Tina, made for you. You lean into him so that only he could hear you. “How would you feel if someone was pestering Wayne about Ben like that?”

That seemed to shut Eddie up. He finally tossed the lighter to Gareth, who wasted no time in lighting the joint back up.

“So, how did Christmas at the Munson’s go?” Jeff asks, plopping down on the couch next to Eddie, handing him another beer.

“It was, and I am not exaggerating,” Eddie starts with a slight slur of his words, “probably the best Christmas I’ve ever had. Like, this one right here?” He points his thumb to you. “I didn’t think I’d ever know what it feels like to be spoiled, but that’s definitely how she treated me.”

“Wait a second,” you scoff, “I did not spoil you. I just found some things that I thought you’d like and figured I’d get them for you.” You shrug, giving Tina, Grant's girlfriend, a look of feigned innocence as you turned to face her. The two of you had been doing quite a bit of chatting since you arrived, instantly clicking as you two seemed to have a lot in common.

She did ask you how long you and Eddie had been together, however. And you had to awkwardly explain that you were just his caregiver. It made you wonder what Grant had to be telling her about you and Eddie for her to think that the two of you were together.

“Did you get her anything?” Grant asks, nodding to you.

“Of course,” Eddie says with faux offense. “I bought her some of the lotion that she keeps in her bag, some of her favorite snacks, a copy of her favorite movie that she said she lost when she moved, and a study book for school.”

“You also got me a whole box full of snacks,” you say, nudging him.

“That was just because you are constantly talking about how you wish you had this or that when we’re watching a movie or something,”

“Are you sure you are not dating?” Tina leans in and asks you with genuine curiosity.

The guys laugh, but you reassure her that you’re not.

“When you spend as much time together as we do, you tend to pick up on each other’s interests. I’m sure you and Grant are the same way.”

“We are,” she says with an enthusiastic nod, “Because we are dating.”

“Shh, hey, the ball is gonna drop!”

The small TV in Grant’s living room shows that only 15 seconds remain until the ball is about to drop. You move closer to Eddie to see the TV better, and he wraps an arm around your shoulder to pull you into him. 

Everyone’s eyes are on the TV as the countdown begins. As the numbers go down, you rapidly reflect on 1986. 

The beginning half of the year seemed uneventful compared to the latter in the grand scheme of things. You recall all the highs and lows that you and Eddie have been in together since you first met, when you realized that what you were feeling was more than it should ever be and how you’ll likely never get the chance to do so. 

But you also reflect on the wonderful new friends that you’ve made, including Wayne, who you hoped was having a good night with Ben. And the younger boys, who said they were going to the hospital to spend the new year with Lucas and Max. 

Only a few seconds remain, so you turn to face Eddie, whose eyes were still on the small screen. An idea came across your mind. You pucker your lips, gearing up to plant a fat kiss on his cheek once the ball dropped. You were sure we would be embarrassed getting a cheek kiss in front of his friends, but doubted he could keep a grudge long. 

As the room cheered at the end of the countdown, you closed your eyes and leaned in. 

But you instantly knew something was off once your lips made contact. Instead of the textured skin you were expecting, you felt softness against your lips. 

And when you opened your eyes, you were met with chocolate brown ones looking right back at you. Eyebrows raised into bewilderment, it took you a few seconds to process what was happening. 

Then it hits you. 

You were kissing Eddie. And he wasn't stopping you.

thank you for reading!

a/n: hello! I wanted to make all of the readers of this series aware that I have decided to change up the direction I’m going with it. I feel like I’m straying away from some important elements and I want to try and regroup starting from part 6 and onwards. I plan on keeping some plot points I previously had planned, but they may just be executed differently than I intended. I dont believe the changes will have an affect on the story so far, but still felt that I should mention it.

Again, thank you all for being patient with me and I hope to have the next part out here sooner than later <3